#like i think i could have fought someone just for telling me that grass is green

[frnkiebby]

that fucking face i can’t~🎃

[marble-anime]

Really, love, it’s fine

Pairing: Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader, Giyuu Tomioka x Reader

Summary: Sanemi becomes jealous of your developing friendship with Giyuu. Not wanting to have to choose between them, you suggest that they 'kiss and make up'.

Disclaimer: Minors DNI, Unedited

Warnings: smut, angst, feelings, mentions of violence, jealous Sanemi, threesome, blowjob, unprotected sex, creampie

Word Count: 6.9k

Sanemi fastened his belt as he stepped out of the storage closet with you stumbling after him, adjusting your clothes so you didn’t look like a disheveled mess. The scent of sex trailed after the two of you, as per usual. You followed him outside to the training grounds. Vast land that stretched out further that you could see with healthy green grass and strong trees. The faraway mountains were covered with fluffy clouds as the warm sun caked the scenery in an orange hue.

The Hashira had all taken the day to train together. Using their own breathing styles and picking up different tips and tricks from the others. Adapting their fighting techniques and improving their swordsmanship. This was your first time seeing Sanemi again after you’d both come back from different missions. So naturally, you two snuck off for a moment to yourselves, just as you’d done many times before at the Hashira meetings.

But now it was time to get back to training. With most of the other Pillars already having sparring partners, you looped your arms around Sanemi’s. “Let’s train together ‘Nemi.”

He watched you latch onto him with a smug smile. “What, are you completely hopeless without me?” His words were laced with arousal, the feeling of you needing him turned him on like nothing else. “Is that what it is?”

“You wish,” you said, not thinking much of the joke until you spotted Obanai and Mitsuri making their way over to you. You tightened your grip on Sanemi’s arm, the action only furthering to stroke his ego.

“Clingy, clingy,” he sang.

“I am not,” you blushed, embarrassed to be having this conversation in front of your friends.

“You sure?” Obanai asked, of course siding with his best friend, “You always attach yourself to him. Following him around like a puppy.”

Like you’re one to talk, you thought, always fawning over Mitsuri. You fought the urge to correct him and tell him that half the time it was Sanemi who was dragging you away for a moment of bliss. If you were needy then so was he. You stared straight ahead of you, looking at nothing in particular, because you knew that if you looked up at Sanemi you’d want to slap that stupid smirk off his face.

“Iguro, don’t tease her,” Mitsuri whined.

At least someone was on your side.

“It’s adorable how much she likes him!”

You could’ve died from embarrassment but you couldn’t be mad. You knew she meant well. She’d always indulged you, letting you gush over the guy you liked while she shared what she found attractive about him. Almost everyone in the demon slayer corps was terrified of the Wind Pillar, it felt nice to have a friend who didn’t judge you for sleeping with him. Mitsuri was the only one who really understood how you felt about him.

Sanemi barked a laugh at her words and let go of his arm, taking a step back to address both him and Obanai.

“Alright, you know what, you two?” The two boys said nothing, their tantalizing stares daring her to do something. They clearly weren’t taking her seriously. “I’m gonna go hang out with Giyuu instead of you assholes.”

Sanemi snorted as you turned your back to them, his eyes hungerly taking in your figure as you walked away.

“Good luck,” Obanai teased.

Mitsuri clapped her hands, thinking that her snake of a crush was being genuine, and also called out to you, wishing you good luck while you approached the Water Hashira. He was in a one-sided conversation with Shinobu, she was chastising and teasing him as usual while he responded in one word answers. You tapped the Butterfly Pillars shoulder and asked if you could steal Giyuu away for a training session.

She didn’t reply right away, truthfully you’d caught both of them off guard. Although you were pretty friendly, they were shocked that you’d want to spend your time with Giyuu of all people. After all, most of your time was occupied by Sanemi who hated his guts. “Sure,” she smiled. Maybe this would be good for him. “Maybe you’ll finally make a new friend, Tomioka.”

“I have friends,” he insisted, but she had already left.

“Hi, Giyuu,” you greeted him politely.

“Hi,” was all he said, his expression blank.

Oh god, your face heated up, this was already embarrassing. Maybe you should’ve just left him alone. Even some of the nicer Pillars had trouble befriending him as he didn’t put much effort into socializing. You mentally sighed trying to think of a conversation starter. “I like your haori.”

“Thanks.”

He wasn’t making this easy but you were determined. “Do the mismatched patterns have a meaning or is it just a style choice?”

He stared at you for a moment and you feared that you’d offended him in some way until he spoke, “The red half is for my sister and the other is for a close friend.”

“Cool, are they demon slayers too?” you asked, relieved that this conversation was going somewhere even though it was still a little awkward. But when he broke eye contact, hanging his head low, your relief was drowned by sadness for him.

“Oh.” It wasn’t hard to tell what had become of them, there wasn't a member in the demon slayer corps who hadn’t at least lost someone. For most it was used as a motivator to rid the world of demons and keep others from suffering the way they did, but that didn’t make it any less painful. Honestly, it was a pretty heavy topic to start off a friendship with but you supposed a lot of demon slayers had built relationships through trauma bonds. You tried to offer him some type of comfort, “I think it’s kind that you want to honor them. I’m sure they were lovely people.”

“They were.” A soft smile graced his features, hearing someone speak of his loved ones so kindly filled him with warmth as he reminisced on the good times he had with them.

His reaction encouraged you to keep the conversation going, with a smile of your own you suggested, “Maybe you could tell me about them while we train?”

Sanemi had been watching from afar with an amused gaze as you struggled to interact with the Hashira’s most antisocial Pillar. Your face was flushed and you sheepishly fiddled with your hands while he was giving you absolutely nothing. Had he not found the whole situation amusing he probably would’ve picked a fight with the guy for making you feel uncomfortable. You really couldn’t do anything with him, could you?

His enjoyment died down, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach at the rare sight of the Water Pillars smile. He was smiling because of you. You were probably the friendliest of all the pillars, he figured, if anyone could get through to him it would be you. He was trying to talk some sense to himself so he could shake this unpleasant feeling.

It wasn’t long before you both got into a fighting stance, ready to begin training. This calmed him down. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up, it was only a training session nothing more. Plus, it was one interaction, after today you two would probably go back to barely speaking. He focused on Obanai who stood across from him on the defensive, distracting himself as he prepared for some training of his own. Had he known of the connection that would stem from your conversation with Giyuu, he would’ve marched over there and ended it before it had begun.

When he’d been called to the next Hashira meeting, anxiety flared up in the pit of the Wind Pillars stomach. He kicked rocks as he made his way to the Ubuyashiki Estate, trying to ignore the stirring in his gut. He dug his fingernails into his palms to keep them from shaking as the Mansion came into view. He rounded the corner and you were in front of him in an instant. You greeted him and asked how he’d been since the last Pillar meeting. 

His emotions settled. Of course everything would be the same, why wouldn’t it? He wrapped an arm around you, his possessive grip nearly had you in a chokehold. You didn't mind, nuzzling your head into his chest, you relished in the affection. His hand trailed down your body to give your ass a rough squeeze as he whispered in your ear, “We’ve still got about twenty minutes before the meeting starts. I think I could make you feel good and have you back here in fifteen, whaddaya say?”

You ended up sneaking away so Sanemi could have a snack between your thighs. He was right, you two made it back to the others before the meeting could begin and all was well. Until you slipped from his grasp so you could talk to Giyuu. But your conversation was cut short when Sanemi’s arms snaked around you like a cage as he practically dragged you away.

Ever since then the Hashira meetings had been hell for Sanemi. For a while, he’d been able to keep you away from Tomioka. But then you made time to hang out with him until Sanemi showed up. And after that when he made it a point to show up to the estate before the both of you, you’d always find a way to slip out of his hold so you could socialize with Giyuu. What really grinded his gears was how you and your new ‘friend’ would know things about each other that you hadn’t disguised in previous meetings, which meant that you two had to be sending each other letters.

Sanemi hated every second of it. He was fine with you being friends with the other Pillars, sure. But the chemistry you seemed to have with the Water Pillar left a sour taste in his mouth. He felt like he was going crazy. What could that loser possibly give you that he couldn’t? Technically you two weren’t officially a couple, but you were close enough weren’t you? Sanemi hadn’t entertained anyone but you. Maybe none of this would be happening if he would’ve just trained with you that day.

The final nail in the coffin was when the Kamado siblings had been detained and brought to the Ubuyashiki Estate. Rage bubbled up inside him at the thought of one of the demon slayer corp’s very own stabbing them in the back to protect a monster. To Sanemi, the Kamado boy may as well have spit in the face of all the souls who’d been unfortunate enough to lose someone to a demon. His anger boiled over the top when he saw you with that pathetic water hashira once again.

You begged and pleaded for him to stop but you’d only worsened his mood. He hated the way you looked at him like he was the monster for simply carrying out his duty as a demon slayer. He stared down at Nezuko as blood gushed from her shoulder where he’d stabbed her. Her eyes bore into his with a fury that mirrored his own. She was nothing more than a man eating beast hidden behind the appearance of a little girl, why couldn’t you see that? Even with the ringing in his ears he could hear your voice as clear as day, begging Giyuu to do something, to stop him. The sound of your panicked voice seeking the comfort of another man ate away at him.

Her mouth watered, drool dripping down her chin as the scents of Sanemi’s marechi blood flooded her senses. The hunger would consume her and she would attack him, he was sure of it and he’d prove it to the other hashira, to master Ubuyashiki, to you. He did everything he could to provoke her and yet she still refused to harm him.

When Ubuyashiki finally put a stop to his cruel behavior, allowing Tanjiro to keep his position in the Demon Slayer Corps as well as continue protecting his sister, he’d also reprimanded Sanemi for tormenting the two. He internally cringed at his master's words but he obeyed nonetheless. Not once did he pick his head up as he kneeled to show his respect, too afraid of seeing whatever emotion your face displayed. He could guess that it was something along the lines of disgust, disappointment, anger, if he was unfortunate enough, maybe even regret.

He was able to avoid the disdain filled gaze that he was sure he’d see if his eyes met yours, only raising his head once the meeting was over and the Pillars were dismissed. When he finally gathered the courage to look up, you were already gone, having been one of the first Hashira to make your departure from the Estate. He wasn’t sure if he should consider himself lucky for not having to face your confrontation or unfortunate for not being able to explain himself. However, he’d get his answer before he even stepped foot out of the Ubuyashiki property, whether he liked it or not.

The thought of you and the possible damage he’d just done to your relationship plagued his mind as he walked along the gravel trail that led to the Estate’s entrance gate, the Manor slowly fading in the distance behind him. He froze in his tracks when he saw you, he thought you were long gone by now, but no, you were still here on the Estate’s grounds with him.

Seeing you with Tomioka lit an envious fire inside him, the hand that was placed on your arm as a means to comfort you only fueling the green flames. If Sanemi had been thinking right then maybe he would’ve realized that the scene in front of him was nothing like he thought. After all, Giyuu was the one who spared the Kamado siblings so of course you’d ask him questions to be able to grasp what exactly had happened at the meeting. That was all it was, no romance involved. But right now Sanemi was beyond reason, assuming the worst.

“What the hell is going on here?” He growled, effectively ceasing your conversation and gaining your attention. All it took was one look at him, his wide eyes and clenched fist, for you to know that he was fuming. Although you didn’t know what caused this reaction and had been blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil he’s had for months, you figured it would be best to end the fighting before it had begun. You pulled your arm from Giyuu’s hold and cautiously approached your lover, “Sanemi-”

He pushed past you and grabbed the Water Pillar by his haori, “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

Giyuu said nothing, allowing Sanemi to thrash him around while you tightly wrapped your arms around his bicep, trying to pull him away from your friend without getting in between the two men. His lack of a response only angered Sanemi who began to yell threats in his face, you’d hoped that master Ubuyashiki was too far away to hear his harsh words. His aggression towards the stone-faced hashira finally dwindled when he heard your voice break. As his head snapped towards you he saw the tears brimming along the rims of your eyes.

Taking advantage of his stunned state, Giyuu pulled himself from Sanemi’s grasp and turned away from you two to continue walking down the path. You tried to stop him from leaving, wanting to resolve whatever was going on between them so that there wouldn’t be any tension between your two closest friends. Sanemi watched your interaction with a twinge of guilt, he hadn’t meant to upset you. Was this his fault? Was he scaring you away? Was this why you liked Tomioka so much? Because he was calm and collected unlike Sanemi who had a tendency to fly off the handle at the smallest things? Doubts flooded his mind as Giyuu’s hands gently squeezed your own in reassurance. His heart ached hearing you beg him to stay. The Water Pillar was the most composed out of the three of you, insisting that whatever conversation you and Sanemi needed to have would only be made worse with his presence.

With that he took his leave, giving the two of you space to talk. Neither of you said anything at first, the only sounds that could be heard were your sniffing and the chirping of birds. The tension in the air was thick, the sun beaming down on you while leaves fluttered down to the ground. Ironically, it was an awfully nice day for such a sad scene. Sanemi was the first to break the silence, “Do you love him?”

“What?” You asked in disbelief, your bloodshot eyes widening as you stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was serious or if this was just some sick joke. “It’s not like that with him.” While he stayed silent, you went over everything in your mind. You thought about the animosity Sanemi had always held for the other man, to the point where Sanemi’s mind had conjured up a one sided rivalry between the two, which had only worsened with the growth of your friendship with him. For the first time since you’d asked Giyuu to train with you, you realized that he was jealous. You couldn’t understand why though, he never minded your friendships with the other Pillars. Nonetheless, you tried to quell his insecurities by adding, “We’ve never done anything together, if that’s what you're worried about.”

“That's not what I asked.” He let out an exasperated sigh and clenched his jaw, trying to prepare himself for whatever your answer would be. He held your face in his hands as he asked in a calm, gentle, tone that contradicted the whirlwind of emotions inside him, “Do you have feelings for him, even if it’s just a little?”

Your lips parted, there was so much you wanted to say but the words just wouldn’t leave your throat. You couldn’t blame him for being skeptical, looking at it from his perspective, your friendship with Giyuu kinda came out of the blue and grew rapidly. You wanted to give him the context behind it all, that the two of you bonded over him. You wanted to tell him about the letters you two exchanged which consisted of you giving Giyuu advice on what kinds of things Sanemi liked and his retelling of every attempt he made to connect with the other man ending in failure and a fuming Sanemi Shinazugawa. The truth was that the Water Pillar simply wanted to be his friend but wasn’t sure how to engage with him. Explaining all of this might’ve eased your lover’s mind and may have even embarrassed him a tiny bit. But what had stunned you into silence was the last part of his sentence, even if it’s just a little.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when the contents of your letters shifted from the subject of Sanemi to yourselves. You both shared what you liked and disliked, your favorite foods, your hobbies, your dreams and fears. The two of you got to know the ins and outs of each other and blossomed a deep respect and admiration for one another. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t giddy each time you received a letter from him. Maybe Sanemi’s fears were correct, maybe you did harbor some feelings for the other man.

At your lack of a response, he ripped himself away as if you had burned him. He brought his hands to his face, his fingers harshly rubbing his eyelids and pinching the bridge of his nose as he processed that his worst nightmare was coming to life. All he could think was, why? Why was this happening? Why did you have to catch feelings for that stupid Water Hashira? Was there anything he could’ve done to prevent it? The tips of his fingers pulled at his skin as he slowly slid his hands down his face, he felt like he was losing his mind. He tried to contain his anger, he didn’t want to yell at you and potentially drive you further into that bastard's arms but he could help the aggression that seeped into his voice as he asked, “More than me?”

“No,” you denied immediately, whatever you may have felt for Giyuu paled in comparison to your love for Sanemi, “Of course not.”

“I-,” He didn’t even know what to say to that. He thought he’d be relieved that your feelings were stronger for him than they ever would be for that parasite but knowing that he shared your heart with another, even if it was only 0.01%, filled him with rage and jealousy. As his calm facade began to crack, he determined that it would be best to end the conversation now. He needed to clear his head. “I’m gonna go.”

“Sanemi-,” you took a step toward him but froze when he held up a hand, urging you to stay back.

“I need to think,” he was already walking away from you as he added, “We’ll talk later.”

You watched him disappear from your sight before you made your way down the path, headed for your own estate. It was for the best, you convinced yourself, you needed time to think things over as well. Of course if given the choice between the two men, you’d choose Sanemi without a doubt. And you were sure Giyuu felt similarly, he wouldn’t want to give the Wind Pillar another reason to hate him. If your friendship truly had to be severed for the sake of your relationship with Sanemi then so be it.

But you didn’t want it to come to that if there was another way to fix this mess. Giyuu had become one of your closest confidants, someone who you could rely on, someone who understood and didn’t judge you. Cutting ties with him would be your last resort if all else failed. You wondered how you could close the rift between them, if you could at all.

A week later, your crow was sent to the Wind Estate requesting for Sanemi’s presence. He contemplated ignoring it but he knew he couldn’t run away from his problems forever. Your words played over and over again in his head like a broken record. He’d talked himself into thinking that in your mind he came before the Water Hashira, that you’d choose him over that loser any day. But now as he made his way to your estate, he wasn’t so sure of himself. He worried that this meeting would end the same way the last confrontation did, with you confirming his biggest fears.

As he walked through the entrance gate, he saw you standing in the doorway of your manor waiting for him. His shoes dragged along the gravel trail as he slowly made his way toward you, clearly stalling. When he finally stopped in front of you, you politely greeted him. He just stood there for a moment, taking in your appearance. Your hair was pulled back, showing off your flushed face, the sunset casted a pink glow over you and enhanced your blush as you stared up at him with those stupid lovesick eyes that always made him weak in the knees.

Fuck it. His rough hands slid under your shirt, grabbing the soft skin along your waist and pulled you into him. Before either of you knew it, his lips were on yours in a heated kiss. He’d folded instantly, he knew he shouldn't have but it felt as if he was having withdrawals. You two had spent far longer than just a week apart when you were both sent on missions. But all of the anxiety he had over losing you made the week feel like a year with each hour passing by painfully slow. If his resolve wasn’t already snapped in half, it was absolutely destroyed when your sweet voice spoke four words, “Come to the bedroom.”

As you led him to your room, the two of you had passed by multiple servants and trainees. None of them so much as batted an eye at the Wind Pillar as they were all accustomed to his nightly visits. This gave him a feeling of superiority, knowing that he was such a familiar presence in your life that others were used to seeing you two together. Had Giyuu been the one you were taking to bed instead of him, he was sure they’d all look at you like you had two heads. Tonight he’d worship you, prove to you that he was the better man and he’d make sure that you screamed his name loud enough so that everyone else would know that you belonged to him.

You stopped outside of your bedroom door, turning your head to look down each end of the hall to make sure no one was coming and grabbed Sanemi by his collar, pulling him down to meet your lips once again. Without breaking the kiss, you slid the door open and backed into the room, dragging your lover with you as he shut the door behind him. His hands roamed up and down your body, groping you in all your soft spots as his mouth devoured your own.

Something's off, his conscious whispered. He tried to ignore it and focus on you, thinking about what he was going to do to give you the best night of your life. But his thoughts kept getting derailed as he became increasingly more aware of his surroundings. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, it almost felt as if there was another presence in the room. Although he knew that he was probably being paranoid, his eyes fluttered open. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw a figure behind you.

His back hit the door as he ripped himself from your grasp. His momentary fear was replaced by anger as he saw the source of his misery sitting quietly at the end of your bed. Sanemi’s eye twitched, that freak had just sat there and watched you two touch each other like a pervert.

Just as he was about to tell that damn Water Pillar off, you took his face between your hands and directed his attention back to you. “Just hear me out, okay?”

Realizing that you’d orchestrated, whatever the hell this was, brought back that sinking feeling in his stomach, like you were slipping through his fingers and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Through gritted teeth he asked, “What the hell is he doing here?”

You took a deep breath, you anticipated this kind of reaction but it didn’t make you feel any less nervous. “Here's the deal,” you began, “If you want him to leave then he’ll go. And I’ll stay away from him if that’s what you want.” You paused, not sure how he’d take what you were about to say next. “But I wanna try to fix this if I can. I care a lot about both of you.”

You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his expression hadn’t changed and he didn’t say anything. You rested your head on his chest, your hands trailed down his arm to hold his hand. “It’s up to you though. Our relationship is my first priority so we won't do anything you're uncomfortable with.”

His breath hitched at your next words, “I love you.”

The tips of his ears heated up and his heart thumped rapidly, it was the first time you’d ever said that to him. He looked at Giyuu, his idiotic face held no emotion as always. Regardless he found himself wishing that the other man was dying on the inside knowing that your declaration of love wasn’t directed at him.

“Say it again,” he demanded.

All three of you knew what he was doing, trying to rub salt into the wound. It was cruel but you were determined to show him that he was the one you cared most about. You’d give up just about anything if it meant you got to keep him. So you repeated it once more, “I love you, Sanemi.”

He held eye contact with Giyuu as you spoke. If what you said had upset the Water Pillar, he was doing a good job of hiding it. Resentment flared inside Sanemi at his lack of a reaction, was this all a joke to him? His knuckles cracked as he clenched his fists. He’d show that bastard, he thought, he’d show him who you cried out for, who you craved, who you loved.

He looked back to you, giving your ass a rough squeeze as he ordered, “Get your clothes off and get on the bed.”

You eagerly followed his command with excitement rushing through your veins as Sanemi shrugged off his own clothes before he noticed Giyuu still sitting on the bed watching you two underess. “That means you too, idiot!”

You were sandwiched between the two boys as they kissed and sucked each side of your neck. Precum leaked through Giyuu’s boxers, his clothed cock rubbing against the curve of your ass. Meanwhile, Sanemi’s erection stood proudly between your stomachs, twitching at the friction your embrace provided.

The left side of your neck and collarbone were littered in an absurd amount of purple hickeys. The artist behind the work was none other than Sanemi himself who was determined to prove himself more worthy of your love than the leech behind you. Your right side had considerably less love bites and, in contrast to the intense mares on your left, they were a soft shade of red. You figured Giyuu might’ve been inexperienced by the way he tried to copy whatever Sanemi did, occasionally causing their hands to bump into each other to which Sanemi would slap the other man's hand away and continue to grasp your plush skin.

You gasped as your lover’s teeth dug into your shoulder, earning you a much gentler bite on your other shoulder. Your fingers gripped his jaw, carefully prying his mouth from your flesh. He was captivated by you, the blush adorning your face spread from ear to ear, your lips parted as you let out pleasured pants that caused your bare chest to heave. He was hypnotized by your lidded eyes, the trance you had him under only breaking when you tilted your head to the side. Over your shoulder he saw that you held Giyuu’s jaw in your other hand. With both of their faces in your grasp, you guided them toward each other.

Sanemi’s hand shot out to grab your wrist, stopping your movement but not forcing you to let go entirely. “What are you doing?”

You shrugged, your voice a mix between sultry and breathy as you playfully teased, “I just thought you guys should kiss and makeup.”

You felt his grip on your arm tighten as he processed your joke. Just as you were about to assure him that he didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to, Giyuu’s voice cut you off, “It’s just one kiss, for her.” That was the first thing since Sanemi had arrived. His eyes, an endless sea of blue, stared into his comrade’s as he tried to provoke him. “That should be simple enough for you. It’s child’s play.”

A vein popped in Sanemi’s forehead, that dumbass was trying to get back at him for flaunting your love in his face. Sanemi was partially satisfied that he had managed to bruise the other man’s ego but he didn’t appreciate the push back. “Fuck it.” Not willing to back down from Giyuu’s challenge, Sanemi grabbed the back of his neck so hard that it was sure to leave bruises and yanked him into a rough kiss.

As you slid out from between them to get a better view of the harsh display, your lover slapped a hand on Giyuu’s shoulder to make sure that he didn’t try to close the distance that separated their bodies. Your pussy pulsed and clenched around nothing as you watched the two most attractive men you knew come together, even if it was in such a mean spirited way, with clashing teeth and aggressive growls.

You ran your hands up and down your body, thoroughly enjoying the show. Honestly, Sanemi had held the kiss longer than you though he would. You wondered if he had surprised himself with how long he’d allowed this to go on. Your cunt throbbed, a fire building in the pit of your stomach at the idea that maybe he secretly liked it. Of course, even if he did, he’d probably never admit it. Your eyes traveled down his body, his cock was still painfully hard. Although the chances were slim, you wondered if you could ever convince Sanemi to let Giyuu help you pleasure him with your mouths.

As you reached out to grasp his cock, he shoved Giyuu away. His voice was laced with disdain as he insulted, “That was disgusting.” He was tempted to spit to prove his point but decided against it since you would probably tear him a new one if he went spitting on your bedroom floor.

Giyuu’s eyes shifted down to his scars, biting back, “I’m sure you’ve been through worse.”

Before Sanemi could shoot back a nasty comment, you stroked his cock to distract him while you pleaded, “Don’t fight you two.” You pressed a sweet kiss to your lover’s lips, capturing his full attention. “Thank you for doing that. It was very sweet.”

His face heated up at your praise, he tried to downplay it by saying, “Whatever, as long as you enjoyed it.”

You nuzzled your face into his chest. “I did.”

Embarrassed by the mushy feelings you were giving him, all while your hand was still slowly moving up and down his cock, he changed the subject, “How are we doing this.”

“However you feel comfortable doing it,” you answered.

He pondered it for a moment, the whole reason he’d agreed to this in the first place was because he wanted to show off how well he knew your body. To prove that he was the better man, that he was the only man who could fill your every desire, that you were made for him and him alone. Regardless of all that, he wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of Giyuu fucking you. His gaze alternated between the two of you before he decided, “He can have your mouth, I want your pussy.”

“Okay.” You sent him a soft smile in encouragement before turning your attention to Giyuu. “Why don’t you lay down.” He did as you told him to, spreading his legs to make room for you. You crawled in between his legs, propping yourself up on your forearms and sticking your ass in the air. You glanced behind you at Sanemi who was getting comfortable behind you. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” After getting the confirmation from Sanemi, you looked back to Giyuu who nodded to let you know that he was ready. Sanemi ran a finger between your folds, shocked to see how wet you’d gotten from his little ‘performance’, you barely needed any prep. He was slightly annoyed that seeing him kiss that idiot was what got you so soaked. “Tch.”

You leaned forward, grasping the band of Giyuu’s boxers between your teeth and slowly tugging them down until his cock sprang free, nearly hitting you in the face as it slapped against his stomach. You flinched, letting out a yelp when all of a sudden Sanemi’s hand came down on your ass. “Why don’t you ever do that for me?”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at the question. Probably because you’re always in such a rush to fuck me that you rip off our clothes before I have the chance. You decided against answering him for the sake of keeping the peace. With your ass still stinging from Sanemi’s harsh slap, you wrapped a hand around Giyuu’s cock, bringing it to meet your mouth. Just as your lips brushed against the tip, you were yanked back by two large hands on your waist. Sanemi lined his cock up to your entrance, pretending like he hadn't done anything. You knew that he was fully aware of what he just did but if you brought it up he’d probably just deny it. With Giyuu now out of your reach, thanks to Sanemi, you suggested, “How about you fuck my face instead, Giyuu.”

Giyuu pulled his boxers off and got on his knees in front of you. This time he was the one directing his cock toward your mouth. You wrapped your lips around the tip, trying to tease him a little before taking the whole thing. Of course, it didn’t work out that way, yet again thanks to Sanemi who’d shoved his whole girth into you without warning, forcing your face further down Giyuu’s cock.

A thumb softly stroked your jaw causing you to look up at the man above you with your face still stuffed full of his cock. It was unusual to see him with such a caring expression since he was always so emotionless. “Are you okay?”

“Shut the hell up,” Sanemi groaned, the intimate tone Giyuu had used toward you was getting on his last nerve, “You're gonna make me go soft.”

Sanemi’s hips vigorously slapped against your ass, his fat cock stroking your insides at a harsh, rapid, pace. You tried to be gentle with Giyuu but the momentum of your body made you pleasure him the same way Sanemi was pleasuring you, rough and sloppy. Each snap of his hips pushed your face along Giyuu’s cock, making you fit even more in your mouth than you already were. You moaned around his cock each time Sanemi’s balls hit your clit, giving you short bursts of electric pleasure.

Sanemi ignored Giyuu’s grunts of pleasure and focused on the noises you were making. The cock in your mouth and the sound of you gagging made whatever you were saying unintelligible but he could tell that it was three syllables long. He let out a laugh. “That’s right. Sa-ne-mi.” Each syllable was followed by a harsh thrust. Even when you were face first into another man's dick you were still moaning his name.

Giyuu’s torso tensed, trying to hold in a moan as your sounds sent vibrations through his cock. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair as he buried himself to the hilt, which proved to be slightly difficult with Sanemi’s swift movement. You almost choked as he spilt his seed down your throat. You swallowed his salty cum and pulled off his softening cock with a wet ‘pop’.

Sanemi took the opportunity to steal you away from Giyuu. He pulled you to the other side of the bed and threw you on your back, wasting no time climbing on top of you and easing his cock back into your tight cunt. Now that your mouth wasn’t occupied, both of the boys could hear you loud and clear as your moans of Sanemi’s name bounced off the walls.

This is what he’d wanted all along. He wanted Giyuu to see the passion and love you two held for each other. You stared into each others eyes as he fucked into you, your souls colliding. You held him close, calling out for him and only him. He wanted Giyuu to know that he wasn’t stealing his place in your heart. No way in hell. You were his until the end of time.

“Sanemi!” Even as your eyes clouded over from the overwhelming sense of pleasure that only he could give you, you didn’t break eye contact, keeping the doorway between your souls open until Sanemi would reach his own Nirvana. Even as your body was shaking from the overstimulation, tears brimming in your eyes, you still held him close. You were soulmates and Giyuu would never replace him.

You were His.

His.

His.

His.

“Mine,” he moaned as he reached his peak, releasing inside you and staking his claim. He brushed a few stray hairs from your face, his knuckles affectionately grazing your cheekbone. “Did I make you feel good?”

“It was amazing,” you assured him, combing your fingers through his hair. He stayed on top for you for a moment, drinking in your appearance. Despite all the teasing he put you through, he truly did love you more than anything. “You are so beautiful.”

You smiled up at him, relishing in his affection. Unfortunately, your lover's embrace didn’t last long. Sanemi tensed when he felt warm liquid ropes hit his back. He slowly turned his head to look at the man responsible. His soft features morphing into his usual terrifying expression of anger.

“Sanemi-,” you tried to stop him but it was too late, he tackled the Water Hashira off the bed and was now trying to rip his head off. Too tired to break them up, you pulled the covers over your body, falling asleep to the sound of your lover and best friend trying to kill each other.

[ragingbookdragon]

It all happens so fast. She returns from the trip she’s been on for the last few days only to be arrested and put in federal custody for exposing secrets on NEST. She’s tough, seen war zones, fought extra-terrestrial alien robots, and stood before evil unafraid, but this scares her to tears. Men she works with day in and day out, in her face, yelling at her to come clean about selling secrets and all she can do is plead innocent.

But then they start asking her where she was, and she snaps her mouth shut on the answers. They dig into her, asking her if she was meeting with a contact, who it was, where she was. She keeps silent and it’s only until they decide to charge her with treason that she offers a simple answer.

“I was with someone, but it wasn’t for any type of secret meeting or sharing of intelligence.”

They press her over and over and over and it ends with her in a dark room, alone, cuffed to a table. It’s technically false imprisonment and cruel punishment, but she knows she doesn’t have much of a choice given the fact of how difficult a position she’s in.

She thinks of him. No doubt the rumors have already spread around the facility. She wonders if he has heard anything, if he has already said anything. She knows she can’t say anything, knows she can’t tell the entire truth—they won’t understand. How could they? They’re two completely different species.

Her spirits begin to dampen when a crash echoes outside and the roof of the darkened room is ripped from the walls. She covers her head the best she can, fear gripping her as light pours into the room and she squints as his face becomes clear to her.

“Optimus?” she breathes, and he reaches down, snapping the cuffs on her wrist like they were toothpicks before he picks her up and pulls her out, setting her down on the ground.

Guns are pointed their way, and she can’t help but hide slightly around the leg that is suddenly in front of her, guarding her. And then all of the Autobots are squaring off against the human soldiers, protecting her. Lennox somehow ends up in the middle of a multitude of aliens and humans, yelling at both sides to lower their weapons.

“Alright! Everyone put your guns down!”

There’s a breath and then the humans lower theirs followed by the Autobots.

Lennox looks at her. “You know I trust you, I know you wouldn’t do what they’re saying, but if you have a true, factual alibi, you have got to tell them. Now.”

She purses her lips, thinks for a moment, then looks up at Optimus; he gives her his own calming look and a nod. “She and I were both recently out. We were together.” He looks down again, kneeling enough that he can take her hand in his larger one. “We are navigating a difficult and new relationship between two different species.”

“Optimus,” she whispers. “I—you don’t have to tell them this."

His pointer gently brushes her temple. “If telling them our truth means it protects you, then I shall.” Optimus looks at the higher-ups she answers to. “If you mean to punish someone, then it will be me. But know this, she has not betrayed your trust and remains a trusted agent.”

It’s quite a commotion and the night ends with her job and security reinstated and a new manhunt for the double agent; she sits outside in the field, far enough from the facility that she doesn’t have to worry about being questioned anymore. The crunch of the ground comes behind her and she doesn’t look as Optimus sits down beside her on the grass.

“I am sorry that this is how things have come to light,” he murmurs, staring up at the sky. “It is not how I would have wished it.”

She sighs, not tired of him but of the entire thing. “It’s not your fault, Optimus. I think I should’ve told Lennox that I was out before we left. If nothing else, just to let him know that I wasn’t doing anything malicious.” She looks at him. “I’m sorry too.”

“It’s not your fault, my spark,” he says and shifts a leg until she is between his, his hands are wrapped around her, thumb brushing her thigh. “I should’ve done more to protect you.”

“Have they said anything since this afternoon?”

“I would not be surprised, but I was once taught to listen to all but only take few as truth.”

She leans back against him. “Thank you, Optimus.”

“Always, my spark.”

[artists-ally]

{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien {Pt.2}

Welp. Here we are. Didn't know this was gonna happen. I had ZERO INTENTIONS of writing a part two but I basically got cyber bullied into making another so here ya go fuckers. Someone literally threatened to stop taking their meds so to whoever that was I hope you get to keep your kidney! Enjoy! This part is inspired by this song.

Word Count: 6,111

Warnings: ANGST (yall thought you’re gonna get a happy ending? HAHAHAH) Some pretty negative self talk.

Tagging: @bubybubsters @cyrygher @thelov3lybookworm @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @anuttellaa @lookingforamissingpage @thehighlordishere @crazylokonugget

Summary: In the days and weeks that follow your downfall with Lucien, he has no fucking clue how to go about life without you. He can’t cope. And he desperately wants to fix everything with you.

~~~~~~~

LUCIEN’S POV

I have made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I thought that would be reserved for not being able to protect Jesminda. No. This… this is… I don’t even know.

I’m just standing on the sidewalk, staring at our- her home. At the rustic, auburn door we painted. At its brass knob, at the rusty, creaking hinges that would ring through the house when someone came in. At the little potted plant in the corner, the vines spilling out of it. 

I’ll never be back here again. 

I’ll never get to hear her laugh.

I’ll never get to taste her new recipes.

I will never be able to take all that I said back. That is the most haunting feeling of it all.

I’m an awful person. After all she’s done for me. After saving my life– on more than one occasion– I went and did nothing in return. I gave her nothing for her endless kindness. All I was capable of doing was destroying the one person in my life who has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. 

Unconditionally. She always loved me unconditionally. How could I have been so blind and naive to it? How did I never see it? 

Gods every single time she made me something to eat, a recipe to try… she was basically shoving the bond in my face, hoping I would see it. And I never ever considered it. I was so lost in Elain. Lost in the fact that I finally had feelings for someone after Jesminda… Not once did I think it could be Yn. 

I don’t deserve her. I never did. I was a bitter, rotten shell of a man when she met me. She dragged me by the arms to her house to fix me. She thought I was worthy of being saved when my own father thought the opposite. Yn put me back together. She made me who I am. And this is the thanks I give her?

Elain has said all of ten sentences to me in the past year. I haven’t been able to do anything but replay every single one of them in my head. A thousand times– a hundred thousand times. I wish I couldn’t. It’s exhausting. Constantly thinking of her. But I don’t have a choice. 

I like the feeling of being able to feel again. But at the cost of Yn? At the complete sacrifice of all I’ve known for the past century? My rock? My best friend? Nothing is worth more. 

But it is far too late to do anything about it. I’ve lost her.

I want her back. 

Yn did things to me that no one else could. She just seemed to know when things were wrong. She always knows what to say, when to say it, and how. She never tells you what you want to hear, it’s always what you need. She is the most well rounded person I’ve ever met. She’s never afraid to feel her emotions. 

I envy that skill.

I’ve always hid my feelings deep down. It took years to decipher them again. But it was Yn who made me do it. She always fought for me, fought me for me. Yn never let me do it alone. Refused to, actually. Was there every step of the way and never told me I was taking too long or wasting her time. 

I get it now.

And there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere to go. Tears scald my eyes as I trudge down the little path that we beat into the grass. Day in and day out. 

I remember when we picked this place. We had only been in Velaris for a week or two when we stumbled across it. It was run down and needed a new roof. As a thank you for keeping Feyre safe on our journey across the Courts, Rhysand gifted it to us. Complete with a new roof, new furniture, a new kitchen for Yn to cook in. And he let us be. Well, let her be. I still had my debts to pay off. 

And then I met Elain and… fuck. Everything went to shit after that. 

There is no way of processing all of these emotions at once. These very real feelings I still have for Elain. And these all-of-a-sudden very fucking real feelings I now have for Yn. It’s how I imagine imploding feels like. My body wants to cave into itself and never fold back out. 

I pray to the Cauldron that I do self destruct. This feeling, a mixture between irrational rage and betrayal… I don’t wish it upon another living soul. And Gods know I’d sell mine to change everything I’ve just done. 

I don’t even know how I ended up at the Town House. All of a sudden I was just standing in front of it. I normally resent coming here, but for some reason I was relieved to see the bricks and busted up cobblestone sidewalk. Maybe no one would be here; Rhys was more often than not at the River House with Feyre and Nyx, indulging in the life of parenthood. Nesta and Cassian were probably somewhere in the House of Wind with Elain, Mor at Rita’s, Amren with Varian, and who the hell knows where Azriel is.

I can’t wait to be alone to scream. 

Fuck, the door is locked. Of course the door is locked, no one’s here. It takes every bit of control in my shiver-ridden body to not rip the door off its hinges. And it takes even more control to not collapse against the door and break down for the whole street to see. 

The lock clicks and the door opens. 

I force myself to appear relaxed. I wipe my tears and brush away my loose strands of hair. No use. My face is probably as red as the burning self hatred inside my twisted heart. 

“What are you doing here Lucien?” The High Lord asks. 

I gulp. Of all the people, it had to be him? At least it’s not Azriel, I think. I might hate him more than I hate myself. For actually getting Elain’s attention. Yn was right, I am selfish. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were in.”

“Did you leave something?” I don’t move, and I stay deathly still. Rhys looks me head to toe, and I know he can scent me from a mile away. “Lucien, what the fuck did you do?”

“Stay the fuck out of my head,” I snarled, pointing a finger at his chest. 

“I don’t need to read your thoughts. Your face says it all.”  Rhys crosses his arms over his chest, “Look, we’ve all told you that Elain is hard to reach these days. She isn’t worth-”

“This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Elain.” I lied. He seemed to know it. “Can I just come in?”

Rhys just steps aside, shutting the door behind me. “I don’t really have time for-”

“I fucked up.”

“Clearly.”

“Rhysand,” I said. So full of disgust. He looked at me with a blank expression. One I have seen too many times to not know what comes next. I eased up my tone. “Is anyone else here?”

“No,” he answers, moving around me and heading into a study on the other side of the living room. 

I can’t help but think of how we all gathered in that living room a few months ago for Solstice. Exchanging gifts and drinks and smiles and stories. I vividly remember making Yn laugh so hard she tipped her head over the arm of the couch, sending her wine tumbling to the ground. The stain still on the small rug almost makes me smile, and it almost makes me burst into tears. 

“I ruined everything in my life. Yn’s gone.” I could feel the air freeze around me. “Not like, gone gone but she’s… I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.”

“So this is because of Elain.”

I bit my tongue so hard I thought I’d bite it off completely. But I sighed, the tears coming with it. “Yes.” A really long pause. “She told me I’m-”

“You’re Yn’s mate?”

“Yes.”

“And you never knew because you were so focused on Elain.” “Is that supposed to be a question?”

“It was, but you just gave me your answer,” Rhys sat. “Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what happened?”

I took the biggest breath I could, steading my words. “I missed the opening of her restaurant because I was with Elain.”

Rhysand looked at me with such revulsion that I thought he might put me through a wall. Those wicked, violet eyes could’ve boiled my bones. For a split second I wished he would. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I don’t think there were enough words in the world for how much of an awful person I was. 

“There are things in this world that we sacrifice in this world Lucien,” Rhys said.

Hesitantly, “I know.” 

“And Yn gave up the biggest of them all. She shut her mouth to let you be happy. She did what I did for Feyre until she realized what situation she was in. You are one spineless bastard for doing anything but giving your life to her.”

“I know.”

“Have you any idea what you’ve done to her? She gave you everything you could ever ask for. From the moment the two of you stepped in my Court I could tell she only had eyes for you. When you are in the room you’re the only one she looks at. How could you have not known?”

“I don’t know…” “Yes, you do.”

I plunged my nails into my palms. “For Cauldron's sake Rhysand of course I know.”

“Then why did you continue to ignore Yn?”

“Because I couldn’t ever let myself think a female like her would like such a broken, dismantled and lost soul like mine.” Rhysand stared at me. “When Yn pulled me from the border to fix me, she spent every waking moment of her life stringing my mind and body into one piece. If I let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than kindness, I would’ve gone mad.”

“Would it have been so terrible to love her?”

“I’ve always loved her. I just never thought I’d be allowed to love her the way she loves me.”

“Because of Elain?” “Because of Elain.”

Rhys blew out a breath, sitting down on the corner of his desk. “So, let me see if I have all of this correct. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for Yn because you thought you were unworthy. Instead, you sabotaged both of your happiness for Elain simply because she was your mate and you just wanted to feel something?”

“It sounds so much more fucked when you say it outloud.” I rubbed my hands over my tired, burning eyes. “And it’s not just because she’s my mate, Rhys. I genuinely like her. She’s… she has the potential to be so sweet. I’ve seen glimpses of it, heard stories from Feyre and Nesta. Why won’t she let me see?”

“You are still clueless, aren’t you?” He scoffed. “Here you are, a ruined man because you drove away your best friend, and you’re still worried about someone who doesn’t want you. Pathetic. You are a selfish son of a bitch.”

“I can’t just ignore Elain. It’s impossible to think of anything else but her and how I can help her.” “Lucien,” Rhysand stopped me from going on another tangent. “Maybe start considering that she doesn’t want you.”

“What?” My lip trembled. “N-No she… we have a bond. It’s there she just needs time. I’m her mate, she’ll want one eventually.”

“Just like Yn will want one?” His eyes were as viscous as the tone of his voice. “You are doing the same thing to Yn that Elain is doing to you. You understand how that feels. Now imagine that Elain was the one you found on the border of the Spring Court and you spent decades nursing her mind back into her body. Recreating her personality and passions. Wouldn’t you be a little fucking irate if she started showing interest in another male after all you did for her?”

I froze.

This was so much deeper than I ever thought it could be. But I could see it. Bringing Elain back to herself all for it to be thrown away by another male. Azriel filled that roll, and I was filled with raw fury at the mere thought of that happening. 

“So now you see what Yn has been dealing with. And Gods, Lucien, she has been dealing with it for a long while. What you did was wrong, unjust, and unfair. And for you to be with Elain on the day of her grand opening, where all of us just were, is… that may be unforgivable.”

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve just done…”

My shoulder hunch, and my chest cracks. I am a bleeding mess of tears. I can barely stand as I openly sob in front of Rhys. I’m surprised when he shoves a chair under me instead of letting me crumble to the floor in my self induced agony. And I’m even more surprised when he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

It’s Yn. It’s always been Yn. There is nothing in this world that can compare to her or her kindness or her love. What a fool I have been to not take the hand that was given me. What a selfish, self-serving waste of a man I have been to her. 

I can’t take it. I have to have her back. I have to fix this. I have to. I have to. I have to. 

I stand. “Woah, what are you doing?” Rhys tried to get me to sit down. 

“Yn- I have to fix this with Yn-”

“No,” Rhys slams me back into the chair. “You are not going to march back over there.”

“I have to,” I yelled. “I can’t let her kick me out without her knowing that I’m sorry. That I’ll do anything she wants me to to win her back. I can’t be without her, I need her.”

“She kicked you out?” I nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. She clearly doesn’t want to see you. Nothing you could say to her would suffice. Especially right now. She needs time. She needs space. If I find out that you go back to your- her house, I’ll drop you back in the Spring Court, do you understand me?”

I nod viciously. 

“Good,” Rhys let out a heavy breath. “You can have your old room back. Nothing in it but a few storage boxes. Everything is otherwise untouched.” Great. My old memories to haunt me. Just what I needed. For a very short week we stayed here. Yn’s room was right across from mine. Just another reminder of everything that’s happened between now and then. 

I slump in the seat, letting tears trickle down my nose and onto my knee. Watching them evaporate and dry, just for the material to be soaked again. “I’m so sorry Yn…”

I heard Rhys whirl around, and I could feel the tension across the room. He probably thinks I’m mad. I might as well be. 

More footsteps sounded than people in the house and Cassian walked in the room. Luckily I was facing away from him. “Don’t tell me he’s a part of our special detachment.”

I rolled my eyes. Cassian, ever the charming.

“No, he’s… well, he’ll be living here for a little while.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“It’s none of your business,” I snapped. No one spoke. I sighed for what felt like the billionth time today. “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Cassian asked, coming to stand next to me, his body reeking of sweat and dirt. All I had to do was lift my head and I think he understood enough. That or Rhys told him. “I won’t say anything cause I’ll probably just make it worse.”

“Probably,” Rhys nodded. 

“Probably.” My eyes burned, so did my skin. “I have to get all my stuff out tomorrow. She told me to.”

“Then you’ll do it tomorrow. Not tonight, tomorrow. Respect her wishes, or I will make you.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“We’ll be back,” Rhys grabbed a few things from his desk then ushered Cassian out the door. “Don’t do anything. Just stay here.”

It could’ve been twenty minutes or two hours until I finally moved upstairs. Forcing myself to not go to Yn’s room was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All the conversations we had, all the plans we made. It’s where she first got the idea of her restaurant. She literally had a dream and made it a reality. 

I’d be lying if I said I told her how proud of her I was. I never have. Why have I never told her that? Could I really have been that caught up in Elain that… Wow. It’s funny how you only realize after the fact. 

My bed caught me as I collapsed into it, tucking my knees into my chest. I am such a loser. Pathetic. Just like Rhys said. My heart would burn up and die at this rate. It was a mystery how I hadn’t burst into flames yet. 

There are so many things I need, and Yn takes the top of the list. She had always been everything I needed. When I needed comfort, I went to Yn. When I needed solutions, I went to Yn. When I needed answers, to be heard, to be validated, to be loved… who was I supposed to go to now? Definitely not Rhys or Cassian, and certainly not Elain.

Maybe for the first time ever I wanted nothing to do with Elain. I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw her again. Her presence in my life has done nothing but tear my other relationships apart. 

She’s the reason I’m here in this mess.

_____

At some ridiculous hour of the night– morning? Is that the sun?– I heard the door open. I shot up, then deflated down. I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t at home. And that wasn’t Yn walking in the door. 

Every thought and emotion rushed back into my head, creating an endless tangle of thoughts. The next more horrid and self destructive than the last. I deserve it. 

Missing the opening of her restaurant, Latibule–an ancient word for refuge or safe place–was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never be able to make that up to her. I turned her biggest accomplishment into a slimy, diseased memory. I ruined what was supposed to be the best night of her life.

I’ve let her down in a way I’ll never be able to repair. 

Even Rhys and Feyre were there last night. And I wasn’t. Nesta and Cassian. Azriel, Amren, Mor… they were all there, supporting her. And I was with Elain. She probably wanted to go, and I was there, holding her back. 

I need to get out of this room before it crushes me whole.

I could see the sun just barely peeking over the Sidra when I stepped outside, cloak wrapped tightly around my head and shoulders to keep out the early morning bite. 

There wasn’t a soul around, Velaris still blissfully asleep besides this one small corner store that sold hot tea and pastries all hours of the day. Rustling in my pocket was just enough for a peach turnover and a cherry blossom tea. 

The bell chimed above the door as I walked in, knocking my boots against the step to not track dirt in. 

“Early start to the day, Luc?” Ms. Immy smiled from behind the counter, polishing a few mugs before moving to come to the display case, packed full of delicious goods, savory and sweet. 

“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “Couldn’t really sleep.”

“Well I am glad to have you in, the usual?”

“That would be great, Ms. Immy.” 

The lovely owner of the bakery was Ms. Immy. One of the older members of the Night Court but as wise as they come. She’s the kindest, most gentle fae to roam Prythian. With her soft, sage green eyes and long, slender ears adorn with piercings, Ms. Immy was by far one of my favorites here. 

The kettles whistled behind her as she dipped a tea bag into my mug. Ms. Immy always had designated mugs for her regular customers. Mine was made of green clay, mostly green with a white oval on the front with two lines of flowers. In the center of it all was a simple fox. She once told me that I had the spirit of one of those extinct creatures in the human lands. That I was reserved, and at my core I fiercely protected those I cared about.

If only I had been able to protect Yn from myself.

Her mug had been one crafted of the moon and the stars. With all the constellations of the Gods being lifted into the air by the magic of the Cauldron. Ms. Immy had told her it was a visual representation that Yn was a great reminder of the past to the current world. That she was lost art that was to never be forgotten. 

There is nothing I want more than for the rest of the world to be loved as fiercely as she had loved me.

“Here is your tea, Lucien,” Ms. Immy set the mug on the counter, pushing up the glass case and plucking a peach turnover out. “And for you as well.”

“Thank you,” I tried to smile. I stared at the blackberry tart next to the peach turnovers. Yn’s go-to. It made my blood run cold. 

I put the coins in her hand before I could begin to cry again and scooted out the door as another person was coming in. 

The table and chairs outside were hard and covered in a light mist. It creaked as I sat, just as it always did. I should've sat anywhere else, but my body naturally drifted to this exact spot. It had a good view of the street so Yn and I could watch the people walk by. Pretending we know every bit of their personal lives and beyond. Make up extravagant stories and adventures for the most boring looking individuals in hopes they may one day get to go on them in another lifetime. 

Gods she is everywhere. She’s in the tavern across the street, in the stones on the ground that we used to kick on our walks. She’s in the sunrise, the same color of her heated cheeks filling the sky. There is no escaping what used to be my whole world. 

Silently, I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I ought to be ashamed of showing so much emotion in public, but for some reason I can’t find the will to care. 

The door chimes and footsteps go back down the street. The door chimes again. 

“My fox boy,” Ms. Immy says so softly I almost don’t hear it over the roar in my ears. “What troubles you so badly you can’t sleep?”

I bite my lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. “I don’t know how to fix something that I’ve done.”

“You missed the opening of Yn’s restaurant.” She says. 

I nod. “How did you know?”

“Because I did not see you there, fox boy.”

“She kicked me out, Ms. Immy. I deserved it, every bit of what she said was true.”

“I think that is true, Lucien,” Ms. Immy came and sat in Yn’s spot, folding her hands in her lap, letting out a breath of air as she extended her old, feeble legs. “Nobody is happy with what you’ve done but-”

“I didn’t mean to blow her off Ms. Immy I just-”

“But,” she cuts me off with a pointed look. “I think you are a very lost soul. For the first time in your life you are truly free. No High Lord to obey, no throne to fight for, no war to fight in. Just a High Lord to serve and to respect. You have everything you could ask for, and yet you have no idea what to do with it.”

She’s right. She’s always right. “I want to fix it. I have to.”

“I am afraid that may not be what the spirit of the Gods wants.” Why is it that I get called fox boy and Yn get’s called something as majestic as ‘spirit of the Gods’? “If those are her wishes, you are going to respect them. Eternally.”

“I will go mad. If I don’t have her by my side for the rest of my life I will go mad.” “So you share a bond with her as well?” She asks. 

“I don’t know. All I do is that I haven’t stopped crying and shaking at every reminder of her. No matter how small. Life without her in it is meaningless to me. Afterall, she is the one who gave it back to me.”

“And a good job she did, fox boy,” Ms. Immy smiled softly. “You are a good male who has been blinded by instincts. While it is not your fault, it has become your problem. And by the looks of you, it seems like it has become quite the ordeal.”

My shoulders dropped as I put my head in my palms. I breathed. “I don’t know how to function without her. She has been there, every day of my life, for nearly seventy years, Ms. Immy. We did everything together. Our mornings were spent as one, our evenings, all the restaurant planning and-and brunches here with you-”

“Breathe, Lucien-”

“How am I supposed to just pack up my things today and move on? H-How am I supposed to just carry on as if she never existed in my life? The thought of not being able to see her every day makes me want to peel the skin off my flesh.”

Ms. Immy looked at me, the hard lines in her face becoming more defined. “Listen to me very carefully, fox boy. What’s done is done. You cannot go back in time and take back what you said. The worst of it is over. Now comes the long process of trying to piece your life together. Whether Yn will be able to help you will depend on what you decide to do in the next several days. If you follow her wishes of moving out and staying clear, there could be a chance in the future. But, if you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope.”

If you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope… Words have never stunned me quite as forcefully as Ms. Immy’s had. The true gravity of the situation has set in, if it hadn’t already. One wrong move and she’s gone. For good.

“There is a reason why you are my little fox, Lucien,” Ms. Immy stood, taking my cold mug that I hadn’t touched. “They were intelligent, cunning creatures, just as you are. Do not let your instincts guide you to a decision. Let your heart and the facts do it for you.”

“The facts? What facts?” “The fact that you have screwed up. The fact that Yn has made a decision for you since you were incapable of doing it yourself. It is truth, and it hurts, but it has to for change to come.” And then she went inside. 

I sat with those final words for far longer than I anticipated. It was long enough for people to begin leaving their homes, the streets beginning to fill with people. 

Yn would be out of the house by now, opening for the restaurant’s breakfast hours. I could go now. Or I could stay here and try to blend into the hundreds of faces passing in and out. But I need to move. Yn might come in for her apple cider and blackberry tart. If I saw her right now I’d surely do something stupid. 

As I walked, the clouds blocked out the sun and it began to drizzle. The drizzle turned into a steady rain, then a downpour. I was soaked through my cloak and boots, water seeping in and out with every step. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 

I kept my head down as I walked, afraid of being recognized. If Ms. Immy had been there to not see me at Latibule, who else? 

The cobblestone ended and mud replaced it. I knew where I was.

The old, beaten path dared me to go up to the house. It beckoned me. From here, at the bottom of the hill, I could see several boxes stacked up outside the door, the disposable brown material soaked through with the rain. She was serious…

Some part of me– the extremely selfish part– has been secretly hoping that she’ll tell me she made a mistake and that she wants me back. But I think those boxes are a not-so-gentle-shove in the opposite direction. 

The key in my pocket might as well have been the key to another universe, because when I opened the door it was like I entered a whole new world. One without me in it. All the pictures of us, all the paintings Feyre had done for us, were off the walls. All the plants and trinkets and decorations I gifter here were piled in the corner for me to collect.

How could so much damage have been done in just a few hours? 

One by one, I packed away the things into the soggy boxes. I moved from room to room. Silently. Hoping this was all a dream only to be launched back into reality with every memory that surfaced. Every possession I had given her in the last seventy years was piled here for me to take. 

She wanted no trace of me here. And I didn’t blame her. I don’t want any trace of me either. 

I must’ve stayed there for hours– crying, packing, reliving moments I had long forgotten only to cry again– because it was close to sunset now. Every trace of me was packed up; all those pictures, all those trinkets, all my clothes and bathing goods… everything I owned fit into these boxes. Everything except for the one person I didn’t want to do life without. 

But Rhys and Ms. Immy are right. If I try to do something now, to get her back, I’ll ruin any real chance. That is something I can’t afford. 

To an immortal, a few months or years equivalates to just a few minutes of human life. But if it takes years for Yn to accept me back in her life…

Besides the clothes and membranes from the Autumn and Spring Courts, I discard everything. I will tear myself to bits if I don’t get rid of them. Will I regret it down the road, probably, but I can’t have them. 

The two boxes and bag of clothes I carry from her house to the Town House are water logged and falling apart. It’s a miracle they didn’t unravel completely. Just add more humiliation to a High Lords son dragging boxes and bags through the street. I deserve all the stare’s and hushed questions. 

Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sights of Rhys and Cassian helping me carry them up the stairs. 

“I don’t know how you’re feeling but-”

“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Just… just don’t. I don’t want your pity, Cassian.”

“I am probably the last person besides Azriel who would pity you, Lucien. And I had no intentions to belittle you for what you did. I was going to offer you a spot in my training ring if you ever needed an escape.”

His kindness shocked me. I can’t say I know the Illyrian well, but this gesture spoke a lot to his character. So I sighed, of course I thought he was going to be hostile to me. Everyone should. “Oh.”

“Training starts at eight and goes to one. Come well fed and in something warm. The top of the House is colder.”

Neither of us said anything else as he left me to unpack.

______

Some weeks later I had taken Cassian up on his offer. Him and Nesta were great at kicking my ass and telling me about it. This side of both of them was far different than the ones I had seen. Here, Cassian wasn’t a prick. He was an instructor, teaching me how to defend my life and my honor. Nesta was… less Nesat. She channeled this otherworldly presence and became one with her weapon.

Me on the other hand… it was far more difficult. Fighting and battle wasn’t rooted in my blood like it was for Cassian. It was much harder for me to get it but I sorta did. Sorta. 

“Just keep working on that footwork and it’ll help with the sword placement. If you’re solid by the end of the week, I’ll put a real one in your hands,” Cassian grinned, chucking me my practice weapon. 

It brought a quick smile to my face. As fast as it was there it was gone. Like most these days. 

When I got home, I rifled through my closet. Brown and green and cream colored shirts after another. Where was that Night Court Blue one I had gotten a long time ago? I could’ve sworn I plucked it from the pile on the floor- no, that was a towel. I was planning on wearing it to dinner at the River House tonight for Mor’s birthday.

Oh, Yn has it. I had given it to her to wear for a meeting with a realtor when looking at properties. She had tucked it into this black leather skirt.

I’ll swing by on my way to the party to get it. Mor always liked the color on me, and said it brought out the fire in my hair. She’ll appreciate the gesture.

After a shower and some other outfit choices, I can’t help but want that blue shirt. I’ll just go get it.

Through the falling leaves, I make my way down the street, across it, and to the meadow. There are six or seven houses with smoke billowing out of their chimneys. But there, right in the distance, is her house. She’ll be at her restaurant tonight so I know I’m safe. 

I scurry up the path, still worried about being seen for some reason. 

Has it been easy these past couple weeks? No. I haven’t been able to think of anything but her. Or dream of anything but her. It’s awful. Not her, but the fact that somehow, someway, she is still everywhere I am. In those memories in the darkest part of the night. The darkest part of my mind reserved for her and her only. 

I hadn’t dared to go visit Elain. I don’t feel the need anymore. Which is relieving and frightening at the same time. It’s like there is a gaping hole in my heart that nothing will fill. Not even training. It proves a good secondary distraction, but nothing can suppress the primary guilt I feel every waking–

What is that smell? I stopped just shy of the door, key in hand. It wants to smell like the rest of the smoke and ash wafting into the air from the nearby cabins, but it’s… more alive? What if she left the stove on? Or a candle? There are hints of woods mixed into it, but not the type of woodsy scent from pine or maple logs. 

I jam the key in as fast as I can to unlock the door. What if she left the fireplace burning or had an electrical fire or-

In the span of five seconds, three things happened. One: Yn was here. And she looked so beautiful. Her eyes are bright and full of color. Two: she was being held by someone, his hands on her cheeks. Three: boiling rage shot through when I realized who it was.

Eris.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

[neonghostlights]

Not sure what you’ll think about this but Eddie cuts across a cemetery on his way somewhere in a hurry and bumps into reader who was visiting someone’s grave. They have instant chemistry, but then he never sees her again and can’t find her, come to find out, she was a ghost.

Dear Betty Anon, this is amazing. I love ghosts. I am obsessed with them. If you knew me in real life you would see just how obsessed I am. I also am a lover of cemeteries so this was the perfect request. My mind is swimming with future ideas of these two because I really don't want to just leave it here.

Warnings: None besides mentioning drugs/Eddie being a drug dealer and reader being a ghost.

Wordcount: 2.2k

The Shortcut

The dead grass crunched beneath his boots as he cut through the trees. It was dark out, so late that if anyone spotted him in these woods they would think he was a phantom of some sort, going out on his nightly haunt. 

He didn’t mean to be late for the deal  but the van wouldn’t start when he tried to leave earlier. It was probably just a dead battery, a quick fix that he could easily take care of in the morning, but in the moment it felt like it was the end of the world. He had a reputation to uphold of being the best drug dealer in Hawkins, besides Rick.  He hoped whoever was waiting for him wouldn’t give him a hard time. 

The trees got fuller on this part of the trail, almost completely blocking out the light of the moon. He wished he had brought a flashlight with him when he left, but he had been in such a hurry that he had never even thought about it. 

These woods were creepy enough during the day, but at night the creepiness got turned all the way up. The trees here were nearly bare from the autumn weather, full of sharp angles that reminded Eddie of skeletons. Each branch casted a shadow on the ground that looked like arms reaching out of the darkness at him. The sleeves of his jacket got caught on his jacket, the woods seemingly trying to pull him deeper inside. 

The hair on the back of his neck stood, he couldn’t tell from what though, either the chill or the fear. He fought the urge to turn around constantly to make sure there was nothing trailing him. He reasoned that if there was something scary behind him then he’d just rather not know. 

His foot caught on a thick root cutting across the trail, sending him flying towards the ground. He felt like one of the girls that faceplant in a horror movie and then refuse to get up in time to continue running from the slow walking killer. He pushed himself up with an annoyed groan, the dirt and sticks cutting into his palms and making them sting. 

At this point he wanted to turn around and give up. He knew if he did then Rick would have his ass for it, and if the people he was meeting with were sketchy enough he’d rather not have them coming after him too. People get pissed off when it comes to their drugs. 

That’s why Eddie thought he was good at this job. He looked scary enough most of the time for people not to want to mess with him. They see leather jackets, long hair, and chains and decide they shouldn’t mess with him. 

On the outside he was tough, on the inside he simply was a man that was about to piss himself from how scary these woods were.

Wayne had always warned him away from these woods, especially at night. His uncle had spouted some stories: saying he had proof that Hawkins was a cursed place. Eddie usually took his warnings for granted, blaming the man’s old Appalachian superstitions that he never grew out of once he moved to Hawkins years ago.  He was surely wishing he had listened tonight though. 

The trees finally broke to the back of the old side of the Hawkins Cemetery. He groaned internally, he had completely forgotten that the trail would take him here. The graves in this part were more aged than the other side, less cared for and not as fancy. It sent an ache through his chest to see how abandoned these graves were, long forgotten by those who still lived. 

The fog rolled by his feet, reminding him of a horror movie with a cheap fog machine. The air in the cemetery had an electric feel to it, probably due to the comically large full moon that seemed to take up half the sky. 

He hadn’t been here in so long; hadn’t visited his mom’s grave in years. This place always made him feel like he was being watched, like there were eyes behind these headstones watching his every move. 

Eddie pushed forward along the trail, weaving throughout the rows of headstones. He silently hoped no one happened to drive by and spot him and call the cops on him for trespassing, especially with his supply on him.

All he needed to do was follow the trail and make it to the big iron gates that protected the dead from the living. Eddie thought it was kind of stupid for the gates to be there when there was a trail that led directly inside but he guessed that not many people knew about the back entrance. 

He was halfway down the path, about to go down another curve when movement out the corner of his eye had him pausing. Eddie froze, head snapping in that direction. All the stories that Wayne had told him raced through his mind, every possible monster he had ever heard of suddenly becoming a real life possibility. 

Instead of a monster, he saw you. You sat on your knees in front of a gravestone, legs bent and head dropped low. Your face was shielded by the night time shadows. Eddie thought it was strange to see you there, alone in the middle of the night. He heard you let out a sniffle, the unmistakable sound of you crying. 

He thought that maybe he should just ignore you and go on his way, pretending that he never saw you here. 

But it was late, and dark. And you were obviously distressed and alone in a cemetery. Eddie didn’t think of himself as much of a hero, but he didn’t feel right just leaving you all alone without checking on you first. 

“Hey! You okay?” He called out, still keeping his distance. 

You jumped, head slowly lifting up to look at him. His breath caught in his throat when he took in your face. You were so beautiful. Your face changed from sadness to surprise as you stared at Eddie with wide eyes. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, walking closer to you like a moth drawn to a flame. Each foot moved automatically in front of the other to bring him closer to you. “I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He stood behind the stone you sat at now, switching his weight between both feet while he waited for you to answer. You gave him a strange look that he couldn’t decipher, like you were completely in shock that he was talking to you. 

Up close, you were even more beautiful. Eddie would even dare to describe your beauty as haunting. The moon lit your skin in an unnatural way, making you the brightest thing in this dark place. You wore a white dress and polished heels. Your choice in clothing made Eddie concerned. It was definitely too cold to be out in that. 

“I’m fine,” you said slowly, mouth forming the words in an odd way. You stood gracefully to face him. 

“What are you doing out here alone? Aren’t you cold?” He asked, about to strip off his leather jacket to hand over to you. Eddie was shivering under his jacket, the temperature seemed to drop at least ten degrees. 

You put a single hand up, stopping his movements. “I’m not cold.” 

“Are you sure?” Eddie checked with a raised brow and pursed lips. 

You just nodded silently at him, eyes looking him up and down. You seemed skittish, like you wanted to run.

“You’re just dressed a little funny for the cold,” Eddie commented and then immediately regretted it. Because of course he would meet a pretty girl and then blow it by telling her she’s dressed funny. 

Instead of getting mad, you smiled a wide smile at him. “I think my dress is funny too. Definitely not my favorite.”

Eddie laughed, wondering why you were wearing it then but he didn’t ask. 

“Uh, sorry for your loss,” he said, pointing down at the headstone you stood in front of. 

You shrugged a shrug of indifference. “Thank you.” 

“You, uh, come out to the cemetery in the middle of the night often?” Eddie asked awkwardly. 

You laughed, looking surprised at yourself for it. “Unfortunately.” 

Eddie knew he wasn’t doing a very good job at flirting but he made you laugh and that had to be a good thing. Maybe you would think his clumsy flirting was charming.  

“I’m Eddie Munson,” he introduced himself, sticking his hand over the headstone to shake yours. 

You just stared at his hand with a sheepish smile, making no move to shake it. You did tell him your first and last name as well though. Eddie dropped his hand and shoved it into his pocket, embarrassed. 

“Are you from around here? I’ve never seen you before.” He would definitely remember you. 

“Lived here my whole life. How about you?”

Hawkins was a small town, where everyone basically knew everyone else in some way and he didn’t recognize you at all. Your last name seemed familiar but he couldn’t place it off the top of his head. You looked to be the same age as him but maybe you were homeschooled. Why would you lie about growing up here? 

“I moved to Hawkins when I was twelve. I live with my uncle down at the trailer park.” 

“Oh, Hawkins has a trailer park?” 

Eddie looked at you confused. Of course Hawkins had a trailer park. It had been there forever. Everyone knew about it since it was the butt of many jokes around town. 

You noted the confused expression on Eddie’s face. “Sorry. I don’t get out much,” you explained shyly, tucking your face to your chest. 

So, you were definitely homeschooled or something, Eddie thought. 

“Shit,” Eddie hissed, looking down at his watch. “I’m late for something I’ve got to go. Do you wanna walk out with me?” 

“I think I’ll stay here a little longer,” you said with a sad smile. “It was nice to meet you, Eddie Munson. Thanks for talking with me.” 

“Maybe I’ll see you around sometime?” Eddie asked as he backed away, careful not to trip over a headstone and embarrass himself even more in front of you. 

“Maybe,” you said, watching as he left. 

Eddie turned, making his way to the tall cemetery gates. He turned to cast one last glance at you but didn’t see you anymore. He figured that maybe you were hidden behind a stone and he couldn’t see you from this angle. 

The gates were locked with a chain and padlock, making Eddie have to jump over the fence. It was almost too tall and he barely made it over, nearly ripping his pants on a metal spike. It made him wonder how you even got in in the first place. There was no way you could have made that jump without hurting yourself in a dress and heels. Eddie thought that maybe you walked down the same path he did, but that path started in the trailer park that you didn’t seem to know about. 

There had to be another way then. 

Eddie made it to his deal super late but ended up calling Rick from a pay phone and catching a ride with him so he wouldn’t have to walk back through those damn creepy woods. 

A week later, Eddie found himself thinking about you a lot. 

You were kind of weird, but in a good way. He felt bad for leaving you in that cemetery alone, he should have stayed with you to make sure you were safe. He wished he would have asked for your number or something so he could check on you to make sure you made it home alright. 

He had even mentioned you to Steve and Robin but neither of them had heard your name before. They also thought it was weird that you had been out there alone in the middle of the night but the conversation changed as quickly as it started to something else with the topic of you long forgotten. 

Eddie found himself walking through the same trail, heading back to the cemetery. You said you went there a lot and he was hoping to catch you again, hopefully get to know you more. You seemed a little scared last time he was there, he wished you’d want to talk to him again. 

He practically ran through the woods, narrowly avoiding the same root he tripped over last time. 

When he reached the cemetery he headed straight to the grave stone you were at last time. Disappointment filled him when he realized that you weren’t there that night and that he had walked through the creepy woods for nothing. 

The stone looked old, with dirt and moss covering most of it. He shined his flashlight on it, noting the crack that ran through the top of it. Dead weeds surrounded the base of the stone, clearly allowed to overgrow in the warm months.

This one had been here for a while and looked to be long abandoned. There were no flowers, or pretty decorations like the other graves. He wondered how old it was, illuminating the year listed on it. 

 Eddie was about to give up and make the journey home when he happened to glance down at the name and froze, disbelief sinking in when he read your name on the headstone. 

[avocado-writing]

we need a rewrite of the tiefling party where tav can actually convince wyll to join the party and have fun please 🥹

notes: love love love writing for Wyll. he's such a sweetie! Implied bard reader but not explicit.

rating: T, but there will be a spicy part 2 coming up!

The party is lively and your head is swimming from the buzz of attention. That, and the small amount of wine you’ve had: not so much as to dull your senses but enough to make you merry. Warmed with Arkhen’s Hoard you take a break from the grateful tieflings and head out towards the familiar babble of the river. The further from camp you go the quieter your surroundings get, and you’re able to breathe a little more easily knowing there aren’t half a dozen children hanging on your every word. It’s lovely to be the centre of attention because you helped them, but a little overwhelming with all those eyes on you.

Of course, that’s not the only reason that you’ve come wandering over this way.

Wyll sits with his legs crossed on the bank, staring at the way the water dances under the moonlight. He seems at peace, the calmest he’s been since Mizora appeared and sprouted those horns for him; shoulders relaxed, tensionless. 

“Wondered where you were,” you say, quietly. You don’t want to make him jump after all. It hurts your heart to see the way that his body stiffens when he hears your voice. Ah: there’s the tension again. Nevertheless, he turns to look at you over his shoulder, an easy smile on his lips - but one with a hint of sadness. You’ve studied his face enough in camp in order to know when he’s trying to hide something. It makes your heart ache bitterly that he would try and hide it from you, though. 

“Thought I’d be able to sneak away. Should have known you’d be able to find me.”

You take a seat next to him in the grass. It’s a soft spot he’s managed to pick, not wet from its proximity to the river, but green and lush from its plentiful feeding. You lock eyes with him and press a hand to your chest, mock-wounded.

“Wyll! You make me sound like I’m a bloodhound tracking you down, not someone who cares about you checking in.”

He laughs, and you see him begin to lighten again. When he smiles this time, it’s sincere.

“That’s not what I meant. Apologies. Just that I’m not surprised you know me well enough to guess where I’d end up.”

“Down by the river,” you hum, fingers suddenly itching for the feel of a lute’s strings. 

“You’re always singing that, you know?”

“I am, it’s a good song. I’ve never once heard you complain about it.”

“I’m not complaining! I never would, I love to hear you sing. Since I joined you on this journey, my life has been filled with so much music. It’s been wonderful.”

You put your hands behind you and lean back on them, allowing your face to become level with his. He looks into your eyes and, this close, you can see his breath hitch a little when your fingers brush together.

“I could be persuaded to do an impromptu performance, but I’d need my favourite person in the front row to give me courage.”

“I’m sure that you don’t need me for that. Courage is the one thing you couldn’t possibly lack.”

“To be my muse, then.”

You know if you lifted your hand and felt his cheek, it’d be warm.

“Please, Wyll,” you continue, softly. “Please come and join us. Everybody wants you there. Me especially, if I’m being selfish.”

“Ah…” you can see he’s warring with himself. On one side of the argument, he longs to indulge you. On the other side…

“I’m not sure. I think people may find me off-putting.”

You furrow your brow.

“You? The single most charming man I’ve ever met?”

Another flash of shyness over his face. You can tell that he enjoys the compliment, but his self-doubt wins out.

“Perhaps I was, before the horns.”

“Oh, Wyll. Do you think anybody up there cares about those? A group of your friends and people you fought tooth and nail to protect? I know for a fact that Karlach wants to challenge you to a drinking game.”

“That seems like more of a reason to hide! I think she’d drink me under one of the tables,” Wyll grimaces, and smiles when you laugh at his silliness. He seems a little more open to the idea, but still not completely sold.

“I don’t know… just… the children…”

“The children who love you and hang on your every word? Umi won’t stop asking me where you are, and someone needs to keep Mol in line…”

“I doubt even the gods themselves can do that.”

When he chuckles you find yourself reaching out to cup his cheek, running your thumb over the sharp ridge that was raised there when Mizora cursed him. His eyes widen and glaze over before sliding closed, nuzzling into the gesture, soul laid bare to the sweetness of your touch. 

 “Nobody feels unsettled by you. Nobody is afraid of you.”

His lips fall apart, anticipating the way you reach in to kiss him.

It’s a soft kiss. Lips dancing slowly, a waltz, noses bumping together a little, his horns grazing your hairline. Your heart soars at it.

When it’s over you sit there and breathe together. Sharing the same air, letting your blood thrum through you in an intertwined heartbeat.

“Will you come and join us? Will you come and dance with me?” you ask.

Wyll loses the argument with himself.

“Yes.”

taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget

[raspberryfingers]

A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 15)

WARNING: NSFW (if you hadn't already guessed) also y’all are so welcome for the audio

—————

“Agh!” I scowled, advancing on Tywin and spinning as I brought my sword down on him. I finally managed to knock his sword out of his hands, and he smiled when I did. 

“Took you long enough,” he teased, pulling me in by my waist and kissing me deeply. I let one arm wrap around his neck, my other hand still gripping my sword. When I pulled back, I scoffed at him.

“I’m merely having a bad day, that’s all.”

“Of course, Lady Tyrell. Either way, you fought well. I know it’s not the same as killing someone, but I hope you enjoyed today regardless,” Tywin said, bending over to pick up the sword he’d dropped in the grass. They were sparring swords, of course, neither of us wanted to actually hurt the other. 

“It’s not the killing that excites me, merely the winning,” I noted, brushing off his shirt slightly. He was only wearing a shirt and pants currently, and I was wearing a shorter, fairly breathable dress that I wouldn’t trip on or gasp for air in. 

“We should get back, the sun will set soon,” Tywin noted, motioning for me to follow as we made our way back to the horses.

“And you don’t want to spend another night out under the stars with me?” I teased, taking his arm as we walked.

“I think I’m afraid of what I’d end up doing left alone with you like that.”

I felt my face go hot, and I looked down. I wasn’t sure how to tell him I wished he would do it. ‘It’ being pinning me down in the grass and taking me, of course. 

We mounted our horses and started back for Kings Landing, both glad to have had our fill of time away from the city. I was also glad Tywin had been true to his word and actually bothered letting me fight with him.

“Aerys and I used to come out this way as boys. When we wanted to practice, of course,” he said, adding on the last bit rather quickly. It made me raise an eyebrow. 

“Just to practice?” I insinuated, grinning. Tywin only looked away and scoffed, completely ignoring what I’d said. Fascinating.

“It’s comforting to know I’m still as good as I was then. It took you a bit to disarm me,” he teased, making me laugh.

“I’ll be certain to go harder on you next time.”

We both laughed then, and I felt so free. Time with Tywin was always valued, but especially so when we weren’t cooped up in some building in the Red Keep. It made me wonder what Casterly Rock would be like to actually live in. Then, on the mental subject of all things Lannister, an idea sparked.

“Shall I sing us a song, m’lord?” I asked, using a more common accent to joke. Tywin raised an eyebrow. 

“Go on then. I’ll give you a gold coin if you’re any good,” he said, playing along. I merely smiled and began. 

“And who are you, the proud lord said, that I must bow so low?” I sang, watching his face carefully. I expected him to be annoyed, but if anything he looked appreciative. 

“Only a cat of a different coat, that’s the all the truth I know. In a coat of gold, or a coat of red, a lion still has claws. Mine are long, and sharp my lord, as long and sharp as yours,” I continued, watching Tywin smile fondly. I wondered if he found it attractive to hear me sing the song which had been written for him. He certainly did have an enamored look in his eyes, and I wished I could know what he was thinking.

“And so he spoke, and so he spoke, that lord of Castamere, but-“

“Now the rains, weep over his hall, and not a soul to hear,” Tywin joined in, and I raised both eyebrows in shock. His deep voice sounded beautiful, and I couldn’t help but smile. 

“I didn’t know you could sing, Lord Lannister,” I teased, making him scoff and roll his eyes.

“I didn’t know you could sing either,” he shot back.

“Does it please you?” I asked curiously, riding a bit closer to him and examining his face. His cheeks were a subtle pink.

“Yes, it certainly does. You should sing for me more often,” he said honestly, glancing over at me. 

Gods, his eyes were beautiful.

“I will if you decide to join me.”

“And speaking of which, will you join me in my chambers for dinner tonight?” He asked, looking over at me. 

“Certainly. I’ll want to bathe and change first, of course, but I’d quite like that, Tywin,” I accepted with a smile. 

“Of course. I’ll do the same.”

We exchanged a prolonged look, and my lips parted. There was a sort of nervous atmosphere between us. It made my heart skip, and butterflies consumed my stomach. 

Only the gods knew what tonight would bring. 

—————

“Cerella?”

“Yes m’lady?”

I turned to look at her as she helped me wash my hair, and she raised an eyebrow. 

“Cerella should I… should I make a move on Lord Tywin tonight?” I asked, face flushing in embarrassment. I was usually quite a bold person, but the topic of sex had always been a bit foreign to me despite growing up with so many men. I supposed I’d never really given it much thought until now. Now there was someone I wanted to have sex with. 

“How do you mean, Lady (Y/N)?” She questioned, gently washing my back.

“Should I- should I bed him?”

I watched her eyebrows raise in surprise, and I instantly felt I shouldn’t have asked.

“If you believe you’re ready for it, my lady. If he’s pressuring you and you don’t want to, don’t let him force you into anything,” she said sternly, looking at me pointedly. It was at least reassuring to know Cerella had my back.

“No! No, no, nothing like that. I want to… I want him, and I think tonight might be a good opportunity for it,” I explained, to which she nodded. 

“Would you like me to fancy you up a bit? Just in case it should work out,” she offered with a small smile.

“Certainly, thank you, Cerella. Use the oil my grandmother bought me, it’s the one in the small pink jar there,” I said, motioning to my vanity. She rose from beside the tub and went over, grabbing the small vase and coming back over.

“This one?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Cerella placed the oil down on a small side table and then brought over my towel, wrapping me in it as I rose from my bath. I dried myself off, slipping into my undergarments and sitting on one of the sofas. 

“Here, let me dry your hair and do a simple braid crown,” Cerella said, knowing I would want something nice but not too elegant at this time of the day. I sighed as she brushed through it and then proceeded to dry it off as thoroughly as she could. 

“Are you… are you a maiden, Cerella? If you don’t mind me asking, of course,” I inquired, hoping it wasn’t too personal. 

“No, m’lady, I’m not. Why?” She said, beginning to braid. 

“Well, I’m afraid I am. Do you- do you have any advice for me?” I asked, inhaling nervously. I was so worried that even if the chance to sleep with Tywin did present itself I’d make an awful fool of myself. 

“First and foremost, don’t let it be all about Lord Tywin. You should feel good too. I’m obviously not knowledgeable about what he’s like as a lover, but most men tend to be rather selfish. If he is, remember that intercourse is supposed to be enjoyable, and do what you’d like to make it that way,” she began, placing her hands on my shoulders to reaffirm it. I nodded.

“I’ve touched myself plenty of times, I know how to do that.”

“Good. As far as Lord Tywin goes, men aren’t quite as complicated as we are. Knowing him, he’ll want to be in control too, or at least he’ll expect to be. Perhaps try making him work for that a bit. He’s always liked it when you challenge him, after all,” she suggested, finishing my hair and reaching for the oil. I smiled at the thought. If I wasn’t shaking with nerves, perhaps I would try being a bit more dominant. 

“As for… well, other parts…” I said, trying to figure out a decent way to word it. Cerella simply smiled.

“Focus on the tip, m’lady. And… if you’re using your mouth, suck. That’s the best advice I have as far as that goes,” she said, laughing softly. I couldn’t help but smile as she applied the oil. 

“Which dress should I wear for tonight?” I questioned once she’d finished, wiping her hands on a wet cloth. She immediately grinned at me and made her way over to my closet.

“My personal recommendation, my lady? This one.”

I watched her pull out a red dress with quite thin sleeves and an ornate top. Though, the bottom was plain enough that it did not come across as something particularly fancy. Though, the red and gold coloring certainly reminded me of the Great Lion, and he wouldn’t miss the implications of it. 

Slowly but surely, I was becoming his lady.

—————

In his own chambers, Tywin was also preparing himself for the dinner. He was not quite as nervous as you were, because in all honesty he did intend to keep his word to Olenna Tyrell, and he most certainly was not expecting you to advance on him.

Though, later on he would reprimand himself for it, as he should never assume anything from the Nightshade of the Garden. And, either way, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t picked up on something when the two of you had made such intense eye contact.

Tywin rose from his own bath, reaching for his towel and drying himself off as he did. He wrapped himself in a robe for now, as dressing would be his last step. For once, he also looked through his oils, feeling that perhaps tonight he should take the time to truly groom himself properly. 

As he sorted through them and lifted several to his nose, he felt like a silly young boy somehow. Gods, what scent would a woman like? 

He had not a clue.

He finally settled upon one with a rich, slightly vanilla scent and thought it would be satisfactory. After that, he made his way over to his own vanity and combed back his hair a little more carefully than usual. He had not a clue why he cared so much, especially as he fixed his stubble to make sure it looked neat and clean. There was nothing explicitly special about tonight, and yet… there was.

When that was all finished, he rid himself of his robe and made his way over to his closet. One of the nicest things about having such privacy in the tower of the hand--he found--was that he could walk around and sleep nude whenever he wished. He thought it best to take advantage of it now while it was still summer.

However, the sight of his body caught him off guard tonight. When he looked at his reflection, he stopped in his tracks and took a moment. Facing the mirror, he examined himself in a way that he normally wouldn’t. Normally, he would not care whatever he looked like, it’s not as if it mattered. But, in the strange mindset of wondering whether or not something might happen tonight, he found himself wondering if you’d find him repulsive.

He was in good shape for a man his age, to be certain. He had toned arms and legs, and his chest was quite built. But, at the end of the day, he knew he was not what he’d been as a young man, especially with the slight sag at the bottom of his stomach that had been there for quite a few years now.

He shook his head, trying not to let himself be overwhelmed as he put on his smallclothes and then began searching for a coat to wear. He picked out one of his new ones, black with subtle rose designs on the golden clips. Not to mention the gold vines along the shoulders with small berries integrated into them. It seemed both of you were making more bold statements toward each other in terms of dress tonight. 

And, just as Tywin finished buttoning his coat, there was an announcement for you.

“Enter!” he shouted, looking himself over once more before going to greet you. He was ready, or so he told himself. He had not a clue that you were twice as nervous.

—————

I entered Tywin’s chambers, and found him standing by the table, meal and candles already set up. It was quite a romantic atmosphere, and it soothed me.

“You look beautiful,” he said once the door closed, pure adoration in his eyes. I felt my cheeks heat. 

“And you look quite handsome,” I said, making my way over to him and admiring the small details of his coat. It seemed we’d both dressed with each other in mind tonight.

“Is this coat new?” I asked, knowing I’d certainly never seen it before.

“Yes, it is. You’re wearing the scent I like,” he observed, inhaling pleasantly. I smiled.

“You smell quite nice too, Tywin.”

“I’m glad you think so, I haven't a clue what women like on men,” he said, laughing softly and pulling out my chair for me. I laughed softly as I sat down. 

“Well, I think this scent suits you well. What kind of meat is this?” I asked, looking down at my plate after a moment. 

“Venison. Won’t be as good as the last we had, but it should still be delicious,” he informed, taking his seat and pouring us some wine. I brought it up to my nose and smelled it with a smile. 

“Dornish?”

“Yes, very good.”

“It usually pairs well with mutton, in my experience, but I know you don’t like mutton very much,” I remarked, to which he gave a nod.

“Correct, and I’m not sure how you know that,” he said, somewhat surprised it seemed. I laughed and took a bite of the meat. It was very good. 

“I have my ways, Tywin,” I answered, wanting to leave him unknowing. 

“Yes, I’m certain you do.”

There was an awkward moment of silence as we ate, almost like we both wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out what to say. The nerves came back to me. 

Was I going to advance on him? How would I even start?

“I’ve never seen you… in this dress before. It flatters you,” Tywin said after a moment, finishing up a bite and swallowing before he began. When he said it flattered me, I felt confident he was referring to the obvious amount of cleavage it revealed. 

“I’ve never publicly worn it. It’s got Tyrell designs and styles, but I’ve always feared that the Lannister colors would give people room to spread more rumors about us,” I explained, taking a sip of wine to try and soothe myself. I felt so helpless under his gaze, like the sand that gets pulled into the sea with the waves. 

“So you wore it tonight, just for me..?” He questioned, voice low and words slow. My face felt so hot I didn’t know how to make it stop burning.

“Y-Yes, I did. I thought… perhaps you’d like to see me in Lannister colors,” I said rather boldly, though I feared he could hear the tremor in my voice. I was trying as hard as I could to be the woman I was most of the time—bold and quite confident—but it was so difficult to do when Tywin was looking at me like this.

This being with an overwhelming amount of love and what appeared to be desire. It was almost as if he was trying to figure me out in his head, trying to read between the lines of everything I said. 

“And perhaps you thought correctly. You look gorgeous in Lannister colors, (Y/N). They suit you,” he complimented, looking me over. I had to look down or else I thought I might explode.

“T-Thank you, Tywin.”

We’d both finished our meals, and I knew I was going to have to act soon or abandon my mission. Then I was presented a perfect opportunity.

“Would you like anything for dessert? I could have them bring something up,” Tywin offered, observing that I was clearly pensive. My eyes focused on his, and my heart raced. 

“No, that’s alright. I don’t want dessert, I-“

“You’re certain?” Tywin asked, getting up to help pull my chair back, as he saw I meant to rise. I stood and faced him, making my best attempt at a deep breath.

“I don’t want dessert, Tywin… I… I want you,” I managed to get out, watching his face carefully. 

“You have me, my dear,” he said casually, pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. He hadn’t realized my meaning, which made me want to throw myself over the balcony.

But, I would not relent. 

“N-No, Tywin. I want you- I want you to take me,” I whispered, choking out the second half with some difficulty. Both of his eyebrows raised.

“Take you where?”

I realized it then, that he was merely playing dumb. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it of course. If anything, his slight resistance made me more determined. 

“I want you to take me to your bed, Tywin. I want you to take me to your bed and fuck me, please,” I said, getting quieter the longer I spoke. My heart was pounding so quickly I thought I might have some sort of heart attack. 

Tywin’s eyes had this sense of desperation, like he was fighting himself, and I had not a clue why. 

“I want to… (Y/N), I want to. Believe me, more than anything I want to take you. But we shouldn’t… we mustn’t,” he said, carefully tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I’d never seen such a conflicted look on a man’s face.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated, (Y/N). I- your grandmother made me promise-“

“What?”

“She had me promise that after I took you into my bed, I would marry you,” he said softly, taking my hands in his. I sighed, realizing his dilemma.

“You’re not ready to marry me, Tywin. I understand, for i'm not ready to marry you either. But my grandmother isn’t here. She’s not going to know,” I said, pressing my hand to his cheek. 

“I gave her my word, (Y/N). And what if she finds out? What if, gods forbid, I get you pregnant? What then? I just-“

I placed both of my hands on his face, making him look down at me and pause. I gave him a soft smile.

“Tywin, you’ll never hear me say this again. Stop thinking so much. I want to share your bed tonight, and share it fully. I want to feel you in the most intimate way I possibly can. And if you truly share the sentiment, then stop thinking,” I said softly, undoing a few of the clips on his coat. 

“(Y/N)…” 

I stepped back, keeping my eyes on him as I slowly undid the back of my dress. He stood there like a man paralyzed, lips parted and breath shallow as he watched me. 

I let my dress fall to the floor, exposing my breasts to him, as I was now only in my underskirts. He looked so overwhelmed, as if slowly he could no longer think rationally. 

“Please, Tywin,” I whispered, looking up at him. It seemed that was all it took, for he stepped in and kissed me, hands coming to my waist and then feeling the smooth skin of my back. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him close to me as we kissed so passionately. He surprised me then, picking me up and carrying me across the small courtyard and toward his actual bedroom, pushing the door open with his back and then closing it behind him the same way. 

Meanwhile, I kissed his neck, nerves still rampant inside me as I processed what was about to happen. I was then sat on his bed, and kissed while the rest of my clothes were removed. 

Tywin looked me over, admiring me completely naked. I felt compelled to cover myself, but I didn’t. Cerella had told me to be bold, so I would.

I reached for his coat now, removing it completely and watching as he simply threw it aside. It surprised me, as I would’ve expected him to take his time and fold it. 

Nevertheless, I untucked his shirt as he removed his boots, also tossing them aside. His mouth came to my neck, and his hands to my hips. I held his neck, breathing heavily with all the sensations he was supplying me with. 

“It’s your first time, (Y/N). I want to ease you into this. Do you trust me?” He whispered after a moment, seemingly coming back to reality for a moment. I stared into his blue eyes and nodded, biting my lip somewhat nervously.

“I want you to relax, I want you to feel good,” he told me, hands gently and slowly exploring my body. He held eye contact with me the whole time, and I let out a soft gasp as his hands came to my breasts, thumbs brushing over my nipples. 

My nerves came, more than anything, from the fact that I had so little experience. But despite that, Tywin was managing to make me feel safe, to make me feel at ease. 

“Tywin… I want to feel you,” I whispered, wishing to touch him like he was touching me. He said nothing, but removed his shirt, and when I kept staring at him also removed the rest of his clothes. 

I looked him over, just as he had done to me, and he seemed oddly insecure as I did. To reassure him he was still in very good shape despite his age, I let myself place kisses along his chest. 

He lifted my face, kissing me on the lips now. 

“You’re so handsome, Tywin,” I whispered, running my hand through his hair.

“And you’re breathtaking, my dear,” he replied, kissing my shoulder. It was intimate, and I found that I quite liked it. 

Looking at him again, I could not of course ignore his penis. He was already hard, with a length and girth that quite intimidated me. 

The Great Lion of the Rock, indeed. 

Tywin noticed my staring, of course, and when I looked up at him he smiled softly.

“M-May I?” I asked, curious more than anything. He gave a nod, watching as I reached out and took his penis in my hand. The skin was soft, and warm. I also didn’t miss the sharp inhale and flutter of Tywin’s eyelids as I touched him. 

“(Y/N)…” he muttered as I began to rub, focusing on the tip just like I’d been instructed to. He kissed me again, one hand holding my hip as the other reached for my breasts. 

We were taking our time, and I was grateful. Cerella had affirmed what most people said, which was that generally men were quite self centered during sex and got straight into it, but no, not Tywin.

Though, Tywin Lannister never was and never would be like other men. Thank the gods for that. 

I was caught off guard when he gave me a soft moan, and it made me smile. It was strange to hear such a soft, raw noise from him, but I loved it. 

“(Y/N)… lay back on the bed for me, hm?” He instructed, gently grabbing my wrist and forcing me to stop so he could think clearly. I nodded, scooting back and resting my head on the pillows. 

He got on the bed as well, moving over so he was on all fours above me. He adjusted himself, lowering down a bit to kiss me. I held his face, kissing back to calm myself down. 

Touching him was fine and all, but knowing he was going to touch me filled me with nerves again. He rose and knelt back, smiling at me softly. 

“I’m going to touch you now, (Y/N). Is that alright?” He asked, hands on my knees. I nodded.

“Use your words, please,” he said, somewhat demanding. I swallowed.

“Touch me, Tywin. I want you to,” I whispered. He nodded, slowly spreading my legs apart and moving up a bit. He brought his hand between my legs, letting it brush against my thigh as it did so I’d always feel him. 

“Before I do, I want you to vow that you’ll tell me if you don’t like something. I want you to enjoy this, (Y/N). If something isn’t pleasant for you, tell me and I’ll stop. I won’t be offended like a lesser man might be. I don’t know your body very well yet, I don’t know what feels good for you specifically. That’s why I’d like you to tell me if you’d prefer I do something else,” he explained, looking at me quite seriously the whole time.

“I’ll tell you, Tywin. I promise. A-And the same goes for me. I don’t- I don’t know what I’m doing, to be honest. I want to learn how to touch you, too,” I said, licking my lips nervously. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me again. 

“I’ll show you how, (Y/N). Don’t worry.”

When he moved back up, I felt his thumb come to my clit, rubbing softly but not too softly. It sent shivers up my spine to be touched there by someone else, especially as he observed my reaction. 

In all honesty, I knew I was soaked, I could feel it on my thighs, but Tywin had not said anything. There was a slightly smug look on his face, but I assumed he did not want to make me nervous by teasing. Not this time, anyways. 

Carefully, I felt his middle finger prodding my entrance. He gave me a look, asking if I was ready. I gave him a nod, and he pushed it inside. 

I let out a slight gasp, feeling him pump and curl the digit before adding a second once I’d adjusted. 

“Tywin…” I moaned, his large fingers hitting the perfect spot within me, thumb still circling on my clit. 

“Right there, hm?” He whispered, noticing that I’d become a bit more vocal and responsive to that motion. I nodded, letting my hands grip the sheets as I shut my eyes and threw my head back. 

“Look at me, (Y/N). Let me see your eyes,” he said, making me force my eyes open and look at him. He smiled sweetly, adding a bit more pressure and speed to his fingers.

“Tywin!” I gasped, letting out a soft moan and trying as hard as I possibly could to hold eye contact with him. My back arched into his fingers, and he let out a low chuckle.

“So pretty like this, moaning for me. Are you going to cum, (Y/N)?” He asked, voice deep and filled with lust. I whined out incoherently and nodded. Gods, I’d never felt pleasure like this. To finger myself had been one thing, but knowing that it was Tywin fingering me was something else entirely. 

I was losing my virginity to the man I’d hated for 13 years, what a thought. 

Though, with the immense pleasure I was in I practically couldn’t think, and as I came around his fingers I cried out his name so loudly it made me glad we were so secluded in the tower of the hand.

“Tywin! Oh gods, T-Tywin!” I moaned, gripping the sheets as hard as I could, my body practically lifting off the mattress. 

“Shh, sh, there you are, sweet girl. So good for me, hm?” Tywin muttered, fingering me through my orgasm and slowing his hand as I came down from the high. 

He gently removed his fingers from inside me, and held them up to show me the white, creamy substance they were covered in. My face went hot. It had happened to me a few times before, but I always had a difficult time managing to orgasm so hard it produced that. 

I watched him lick his fingers clean, smiling at the look on my face. That was when he moved back a bit and leant down, kissing my breasts and down along my stomach. But he did not stop there, no. 

There was a look in his eyes that I could only compare to one thing: a lion about to pounce on its prey. 

When I felt his thumbs spreading me apart, and his tongue on my clit, I inhaled sharply, having never felt such a sensation before. 

Tywin brought my legs over his shoulders, and I felt his stubble gently rubbing against my thighs. I moaned at the feeling, and when he looked up at me with those blue eyes, my back seemed to arch into him even further. 

He added his fingers again, making me cry out his name and burying a hand into his hair. I was so overwhelmed and in so much pleasure I thought I might’ve died and gone to heaven. Tywin was so good at this, and it was making me want him inside me even more desperately.

“Tywin… Tywin…” I said, trying to get his attention in the midst of my pleasure. His eyes looked up at me, and I swallowed.

“I want you now… I want you to take me,” I said, voicing my desires. He raised an eyebrow, slowly lifting his head away from between my legs. 

“You’re certain?” He asked, beard glistening with my slick. I smiled and nodded.

“Yes, but perhaps wipe your face down first,” I suggested, making him chuckle and point at his nightstand. I grabbed the handkerchief there and handed it to him, watching him clean himself up and set the cloth aside. 

He moved beside me, hands slowly running up and down my body as he did. He pulled my back into his chest, kissing my shoulders again. 

“I’m going to take you like this, if that’s alright. This way I can touch you without you needing to be on top. And I can kiss your neck,” he explained, placing sweet kisses there afterwards. I giggled slightly, turning my head and reaching back to cup his face. I kissed him, and he reciprocated, one arm wrapping around me and the other going between my legs, gently parting them.

Tywin adjusted himself and moved closer to me, and I could now feel the tip of his cock brushing against my thighs. 

“Are you ready?” He asked softly, breaking away from my lips for just a moment. I nodded, placing my arms on top of the one he had wrapped around me. 

I felt him rub against my clit for a moment, and I gasped out softly. Tywin kissed me again, and as he did, I felt him push inside me. Not all the way though, so I could adjust. Carefully, he would pull out a bit and then push back in, going just a little deeper each time.

“Gods… so wet for me, (Y/N). You feel s-so good,” he gasped, giving me a soft groan.

“Oh Tywin…”

I couldn’t help but moan as I felt him stretching me, his free hand now coming to rub my clit. When he pushed all the way inside of me, he also pushed his tongue into my mouth, and I let out the most desperate moan in existence. 

We stayed like that for a bit, hips slowly rocking but not doing much. Tywin’s thrusts then became slow and long so I could properly adjust to his cock, and I was whimpering the whole time. 

“You’re so good for me, hm? You’re taking me so well, sweet girl,” he whispered when I pulled away from his mouth for a breath. I let my head turn and rest on the pillow, and so he moved to kiss my neck now. 

“F-Faster, Tywin… please,” I whined, to which he groaned in response and let himself pick up some pace. He was huge in comparison to the two fingers I used on myself, and I’d never felt so properly filled. 

I began to buck my hips against him, and he let out quite the moan as I clenched around him. 

“Gods, (Y/N)…” he panted, picking up the pace even more now and still miraculously managing to rub my clit perfectly. I was whining so loudly to the point it even made me surprised at myself. 

Pleasure was consuming me, and I gasped as Tywin began to suck at my neck. 

“Tywin! Oh gods don’t stop,” I cried out, reaching back and letting one of my hands go through his hair. He simply moaned and continued to lap at my neck. 

There were so many sensations, and it all felt so good. Tears began to drip down my cheeks because I was so overstimulated, and Tywin knew. 

“Tears streaming down your face as you take my cock, hm? Is that how good I make you feel, (Y/N)?” He whispered, kissing my neck as he did. 

“Y-Yes! So good… so good, Tywin,” I whimpered, feeling him pound into my sweet spot. The pressure was building and I needed him to keep going. I thought I’d die if he stopped. 

“You look so pretty like this, (Y/N). Moaning my name and arching your back against me. And you’re all mine… fuck,” Tywin groaned, feeling me clench around him once more. 

“You’re so big… so big, Tywin,” I gasped, still overwhelmed by the pure size of him as he thrust himself into me. When I moved my hips a certain way, I could feel the tip of him hitting against my cervix and it drove me insane. 

Everything felt so good, and I wasn’t even aware of my volume as I moaned Tywin’s name. Not to mention the sound of our skin slapping together. And of course, every now and then, Tywin wouldn’t be able to stop his own moans from escaping. 

“I’m- Tywin- I’m gonna- I’m gonna…” I wasn’t even able to finish my sentence. I was so overwhelmed, the pleasure building in my lower abdomen making me unable to concentrate on anything other than Tywin’s thrusts, and somehow also the scent of the oil he’d put on. 

“Go on, sweet girl. Cum on my cock for me, I’ve got you,” Tywin whispered, moaning and holding me even closer somehow.

I felt myself reaching my orgasm, and I moaned his name so loud I wouldn’t even have been surprised if his guards had heard it several rooms away. I gripped the sheets with one hand and his hair with my other, desperate for anything to stabilize myself. He continued to fuck me through my orgasm, moaning loudly as my insides pulsed around him. There was still a pressure within me, and both of us moaned as I squirted on his cock, finally relieving that pressure completely.

“(Y/N)… gods… (Y/N),” he gasped out, now just as incoherent as I’d been a few moments ago. Tywin moaned several times at a much higher octave than before, and as I went limp beside him I knew from his gasp-like moans that he was about to cum. 

I felt him pull out, followed by the warm spurts of his seed on my thighs as he let out a loud, high gasp and clung to me. 

I leaned back and kissed him as he shook, and I realized this was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him. I’d seen the man cry before, and yet here as he came down from his own orgasm, he held me so close, so desperately it was as if he’d die without me. 

I let myself snuggle into him, and we both relaxed in silence for a few moments, catching our breaths and coming back to earth completely.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered in my ear, nuzzling his head into mine. I smiled softly and reached back to cup his cheek.

“I love you so much, Tywin. You made me feel so good tonight, so cared for. Thank you,” I replied, to which he smiled. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve bedded a woman I actually love. I’d forgotten… well, it’s different. It’s so much better I couldn’t even begin to describe it,” he said, kissing my neck sweetly. I noticed that he had left several marks, but I was so happy I couldn’t bother to care. 

“Well, I’m glad I was able to satisfy you,” I said with a small laugh, turning to face him. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. He was being quite affectionate right now, and I liked it a lot more than I probably should have. 

“You will always satisfy me, (Y/N). You probably satisfy me far more than you should. I often wonder why the gods sent me a sharp, beautiful young thing like yourself to me. I don’t think I’ve done enough good in my life to deserve it,” he grumbled, to which I kissed him sweetly. 

“Perhaps that’s exactly why. Even the worst men can be better with a woman’s love, as you yourself have proved,” I teased, making him reach over and playfully smack my ass. I let out a little yelp, and he smiled as I gaped at him, both of us beginning to laugh. 

“But I mean it, Tywin. You’ve got a bit more of a grasp on empathy now, and you actually smile. Plus, I’m not saying I didn’t need you. When I was 14, you’re what made me determined to grow up, to be the best woman I could possibly be. And even now, you’re still helping me refine myself and grow,” I said, letting my thumb stroke his beard as I held his cheek. 

“I certainly won’t deny it. Not to mention, you do think a lot more than I do,” he pointed out, which of course made me smile. 

“Yes, I do. I’m glad I didn’t tonight, though,” I said softly. 

“I’m glad too, my dear. Let me clean you up.”

Tywin reached for the cloth he’d set aside earlier, motioning for me to open my legs a bit. Carefully, he wiped up his cum from my thighs and cleaned up anything else that was on the two of us. When he was finished, he discarded the cloth and pulled up the blankets, scooting in closer to me. 

I let myself rest my head on his chest, legs intertwining with his. I felt his gentle kiss on my forehead, and everything was peaceful in the room. For the first time in months, there was not a single concern or thought in my head besides the man next to me, and I was content with that. 

It was just Tywin and I. 

What else mattered?

TAGLIST:

@cheyxfu @lemonscoffee @groovy-lady

@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter

@prettykinkysoul @nothing2113 

@fullmoonshadowwrites @kishie8 

@the-desilittle-bird @dianilaws @girlonfireice @muscari-fae @abigfanofgameofthrones

[ohnoanalien]

Headache

@journey-to-the-au has an awesome fake marriage AU, and as someone with PTSD this post really touched my heart in ways I can't explain. My writing's not as good obviously, but it's a little 'thank you' gift for giving us such great content! Enjoy!

TW: PTSD, flashbacks, phantom pain, panic attacks

It didn't take long for the Monkey King to notice something was wrong. As he walked through the halls of the Jade Emperor's palace, each fiber on soft carpet felt like long-dead grass.

The noblemen around him shot unwanted gazes. On the average day they buzzed like a swarm of gnats– annoying, but harmless. But all too suddenly, eyes pierced through the dark like cold spotlights. And the world blurred like a crude, two-dimensional set on a stage. 

He fought the urge to cradle his head.

No. No no no, not now--

"Wukong!" The Great Sage blinked back a dizzy spell, a soft beacon of light cutting through the audience. Earth Reaching Willow greeted him with a soft smile, hanfu gliding across the snowy fiel-- the floor. He shot back a wide grin with a bit too much teeth, unsure if her presence was a saving grace or a terrible nightmare.

"How is Flower Fruit Mountain, darling?" Earth Reaching Willow's dark eyes flicked briefly to the immortals that surrounded them, staring openly.

Keep your composure. Don't look weak. You were-- will be fine.

"Are you alright?" Willow whispered, interrupting her husband's thoughts.

In return her husband smiled wider, wanting to die.

"'Course I am!" He rested his hands on his hips. Willow didn’t miss the way the Monkey King’s tail wrapped tight around his waist, itching to lash like a broken metronome. "What makes you think I'm not?"

It seemed like they were the stars of the banquet, hushed chatter muffled into wine glasses. But his ‘beloved’ persisted. "You just seem...what’s the word. A bit off-color?"

"Pfft! Off-color?" A seething pain rattled Wukong's skull, and his pained smirk reached his ears, "I'm alright! I'm alright! Nothing to worry about, Master!"

The voices went silent. The palace went still. The Great Sage felt his face warm, slapping a paw over his mouth.

The pain was unbearable. Colors and lights began to morph and shift, and the ground rocked beneath his feet. He allowed himself to be pulled by an unknown force, and marble hallways stretched into a dirt road. No, no they were by a snowbank. Or was it a monastery?

"Wukong?"

The chilly air did nothing to dull the pain, gasping for air as Tripitaka’s eyes continued to change color and shape. Dark to light, scared to angry. Over and over until his mind began to crumble, disorientation clouding his vision.

"Poor thing." A soothing voice called from the flashback, cleaving the delusion open like a knife on the butcher's table. "How are you feeling?"

"I was-- I'm-- I'll be--" Wukong scrambled to collect his pride before it could fall any further.

"It's alright, it's alright. Just calm down and--"

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down!" Wukong snarled. Rage snaked up his throat like a trapped beast. "I am the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven, and I am no mere monkey!"

His eyes stung, desperately scraping at his head, searching to rip off a phantom crown. And ignoring the stinging, self-inflicted wounds that bloodied his claws. "I was the one who single-handedly took down the entirety of Heaven! I was the one who journeyed for years-- nnh! I-- I'm not-- I don't care about the pain!"

A muffled voice called above the panic.

"I don't care! I don’t care! So just make it stop!"

"Wukong!" A panicked voice called.

Earth Reaching Willow.

He cracked open an eye-- dammit, he was crying on the floor. His old friend kneeled on her knees, robes pooling around her like a waterfall. Delicate hands reached out, then pulled back. "Sun Wukong, Vengeful Fighting Buddha. Lovely monkey. Listen to me and listen well. You have to care."

For the first time in his long, long life, the Great Sage was speechless.

"You have to care." She repeated, tears spilling down her cheeks, "You have to because you're hurting yourself."

A terrible realization weighed on Wukong's heart, and he touched a shaking finger to his forehead. Blood seeped through a perfect, golden coat, and he breathed in the iron scent that burned his nose.

"I. I'm sorry for worrying you." He croaked. “I was lost.”

"No need to apologize, my friend." Earth Reaching Willow placed a hand to her chest, "I am no different. During my own panic attacks, my father would constantly tell me to 'calm down'. I'm ashamed I did the same to you."

"Willow--"

"But this isn't about me." A shaky, pale palm wiped at her cheeks. "Tell me how to help."

"Don't worry! Don't worry! I'm fine." Sun Wukong threw on a smirk, sewn in place with string and prayers.

Earth Reaching Willow shot back an unimpressed expression. "Wukong."

Mortification spread like wildfire across his face. Wordlessly, the stone monkey stared at her lap. And before he could open his mouth, Willow gently pushed him downward.

"Lovely monkey." She whispered, pressing a kiss to his temple-- worry unraveling as a relieved sigh brushed her ears. "You may have a position to uphold, and I may not always understand what you’re going through, but I promise you are safe with me. I will hold you if you need to cry. I will listen if you feel alone. I will give you your space when you ask for it. But please, for my sake, ask for help. Don’t try to hold up a century’s worth of pain and false pride by yourself. Let me keep you safe, as you have for me."

Gentle touches turned into strokes. And even when choking sobs wracked the walls, Earth Reaching Willow hummed softly, brushing aside the tears that soaked her fingers.

[that-basic-simp]

Down By The River

Karlach X Fem! Reader CW:Some mature language is used! WC:3.4k+ Slowly rising from my soft bed, I stretched and let out a yawn, letting the sun's warm rays shine down on me through the small window. My mother was outside by the well washing some clothes. As for my father, he was out on the hunt with some of his friends to get some food for dinner tonight. Throwing on what I normally wear, I step out of my room, pass through the kitchen, and to where my mother was outside. "Nice to see you're finally awake," my mother chuckled. "Sorry I was out partying with some friends," I stretched a little better now. "I have you know, you were the one who wanted me to get out in the first place." "I know, but I wasn't expecting you to be sleeping so long." "Kind of hung over, if you ask me. Do you need any help?" "If you're able to go down by the river, can you get some fresh water?"

"The well water isn't good?" "I've been using it to wash clothes, Y/N." "Alright," I said and grabbed the wooden bucket nearby.  Heading down into the woods, I slowly made my way down the hill as I was humming a song my mother sang to me when I was young. It was passed down to our family through the decades and it was always sung whenever a baby was being put to sleep. So whenever I had a child, I would be singing it to them as they fall asleep. I don't know where it came from, but it's a tradition now. Reaching the river, I knelt down and stuck the bucket into the water, catching the flowing water. Carefully pulling it up, I set it on the ground. Since I was here alone in the woods, might as well look around. Wandering around, I took in how the grass rose to my knees and the trees towered over me like the village gates that we lived outside of. There were so many vines hanging down to where I could grab onto them and swing to my heart's content. I would occasionally do that if I was out in the woods here by myself. But my father was usually with me, telling me I need to be more lady like. That I can't wander alone in the woods as much as I please and that I need to think about finding someone soon. He and my mother want a grandchild as soon as I am able, but I do not want to get into a relationship so quickly at the moment. Especially since I haven't come out to either of them.  While I was in my own thoughts, I heard some footsteps coming in my general direction. Peeking around the tree I was standing behind, I saw someone running down the hill, their head looking over their shoulder numerous times before they directed their attention to me. Taking in a deep breath, they rushed towards me. I was about to run back to the house, but something about the way they were running told me that they were fleeing. I heard shouts and yells as a crowd of people were running after this person. I had to help them. I motioned for them to follow me and they ran faster. I took off running in a direction to where I knew we could hide. Once the person caught up to me, I ducked behind a large set of bushes and they slid beside me. Grabbing their arm, I pulled them under the foilage and we tried to settle our breathing. "Where the hells did she go?" "She had to have gone this way, right?" "If she did, the entire woods would be burned down." "I am surprised she ran in here. Considering her infernal engine and such." "Come on," a familiar voice spoke. Poking my head out carefully, I saw my father was walking with some people I didn't recognize. Once they were out of the woods, I stood up carefully before turning to face the person who I just saved. Their red skin gave them away. Actually, it was the one broken horn and one intact that gave them away.  "K-Karlach Cliffgate," I said. She stood up and brushed the dirt off of the leather straps she was wearing. "Yep, that's my name," she said, sighing. "How do you know me?" "Someone named Wyll was talking to my father a week ago about running after a Tiefling who fled Avernus. That she fought in the Blood Wars and Zariel put an engine where her heart used to be."

"You seem to know a lot about me," she narrowed her eyes. "I-It's just that, my father agreed to hunt you down with Wyll." "Well, seems like you're not like you're father at all." "Why would I want to hunt down someone who wants to live?" It looked like she wanted to cry right then and there. She shifted a bit awkwardly, trying to find a comfortable way to show her gratitude towards me. "Y-Yes. I-I want that more than anything! I want to be free and to be alive! I don't know how long this infernal engine will keep running with me no longer being in Avernus. I-I thought I would never find someone who would understand." "Well, I kind of understand what it's like to fear for your life." "Why's that?" she asked. I took a cautious step away from Karlach, but she seemed to read myself better than I could. She nodded her head, backing away as well. "Sorry, didn't mean to get personal when we barely know one another." "I-It's alright. I-I'll just start with my name first, since I know yours. I'm Y/N," I said, sticking my hand out to shake hers. She shook her head, "I-I can't really touch people. When you pulled me into the bush, while you were able to touch me very briefly, it was exactly that. It was brief. But it is nice to meet you, Y/N." "If you ever need help, follow me," I walked over to the river, picking up the bucket that I left there.

"What if you don't come when I do?" "Keep coming until I am there. I will do the same with you." She smiled, "See you around then." "I will look out for Wyll and my father." "Thank you, Y/N." We went our separate ways for now. I returned to my mother with the water, which she directed me to our small kitchen so my father could use it to get lunch ready. He was moaning and groaning about how the Tiefling he was after had gotten away due to someone helping her. Thankfully he didn't recognize it was me who helped said Tiefling. I had to tread carefully down by the river now. A couple of days had passed and I was wandering down by the river, watching the water flow and some of the crawfish swim up and down the stream. There were even some toads hopping around as well as newts and other amphibians. Some birds were flying high in the sky and some landed on the tree branches for a rest. As I was admiring the environment above, I didn't pay attention to the ground below. "FUCK!" I looked down to find Karlach was resting against a tree and I had just stepped on her tail, as she was holding it tightly in her hands. "I-I am so sorry, Karlach," I said. 

"Gotta watch where you're going around in these parts," she released her tail, standing up. "Kind of hard to miss a long, red tail mixed in with this green shit." "It could have been a snake." "I doubt a snake will be entirely red." "You never know. They could be." "Sure," she said, nodding her head. "I'm surprised to find you here so soon." "I've been a bit busy with things, such as trying to hide from Wyll and your father." "They're still after you." "They won't rest until I am dead or I am back in Avernus. I am never going back there." "I don't blame you. Fighting for ten years and having an engine for a heart," I said. "Are you able to fix it?" "Fix it as in fine tune it to where I don't burn as much as I do." "Is there a way where we can do that?" "There is a possible way of doing it, but it requires infernal iron." "I think I know someone who can help with that." "Who?" "Dammon. I have known him due to my father and he's a blacksmith. He may have some infernal iron on hand." "Where is he?" "In the village just west of the river," I said, pointing in the direction of the village. "Y/N! Where are you, Y/N?!" my father called.

"Shit, I-I have to go," I said. "W-Will I see you again?" Karlach asked. "I-I can't promise it," I said. "But I will be waiting by the river." Running back towards my house, I found my father at the edge of the house before it lead into the woods. "There you are," he said, placing his hand in the middle of my back. "Where did you run off to in the woods?" "Just by the river," I said. "Find anything good?" "No. Nothing out of the ordinary, if that's what you're asking." "I just want to make sure you're safe. There is a rampaging Tiefling on the loose and I am determined to capture it." "It's not like a Tiefling can walk in the woods without burning it down." "Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The Tiefling we're after has an engine as a heart. That is what makes it dangerous." "What makes it so dangerous?" "This Tiefling fought in the Blood Wars with Zariel. They are a force to be reckoned with. Until we capture and kill this Tiefling, you are no longer allowed in the woods." "Dad, I am not a child anymore!" "I know, but you never know what could go on in there." "You let me in those woods when I was a child a long time ago without any supervision. Don't you think it's a bit ridiculous with what you want from me?" "No." I shook my head, "I am an adult, dad. I can do what I want." "Not while you live under my roof," he said. "Can we at least talk about it?" "No, we cannot." I let out a sigh and I begrudgingly walked into the house with my father following behind me. He kept a close eye on me every time I walked around the house. Whenever he wasn't around, my mother was watching me, even though she knew how much it pained me to not leave the area of the house. She wanted to let me leave, but my father held a lot of power over the two of us, which worried me with how Karlach would go down by the river and find me never there. She'd think I'd abandoned her. Weeks passed and my father would return with nothing. No sign of Karlach and no leads on where she went. She was smart, even though we met a couple times, her hot headed nature was not interferring with her instincts on surviving. Maybe it was a good thing she had ten years of fighting experience. She could definitely hold her own against my father and Wyll, but for how long before her engine gives out? How long does she have before it combusts? Those thoughts were swimming inside my head that my mother knew something was wrong. "Go," was all she said as we were sitting outside together. "B-But dad?" "I'll tell him I sent you to the market to get things. He'll be fine with that." "Are you sure?" "Yes. Something seems to be bothering you." I nodded my head and got up, heading into the woods and running towards the river. When I reached the water, I wandered around, looking at the ground in case I stepped on her tail again. I wanted to avoid that. As I was wandering, I was trying to silence those thoughts as they were coming back. While I had met her about a month ago, there was something about her that I never knew was there to begin with. Letting out a sigh, I sat down on the side of the river, watching the small fish swimming around. About to stick my finger into the water, a stick behind me snapped. I briskly turned and found the fiery Tiefling behind me. There was a wide smile on her face as we were face to face with one another. "Y-You're alright!" she smiled, taking a step towards me. I stood up and walked towards her, "Y-You're ok." "Your father is really after me, isn't he?" "He's not going to stop," I sighed. "What about you? You were gone for about three weeks and I came here to give you the good news, but you never came. But I didn't give up on you." "My father didn't allow me to leave the house because of you." "Because of me?" "Saying you were a force to be reckoned with." "While I do have ten years of experience of fighting in Avernus, I am not as a brute as they lead me to be." "I can see," I smiled. "You're sweet, caring to those who deserve it." She nodded her head, "You seem to read me like a book."

"I just figured it out since I helped you that day." "Wouldn't be the first time someone has helped me." "Did you get your engine tuned?" "I did," a wide smile appearing. "Haven't really rested it yet. But I know I got some work done on it." "Do you mind if I test it out?" I asked. "Of course." Taking a step towards her, I hugged her tightly. She let out a sigh as she placed her head on my shoulder. "It's been so long since I've been able to hold someone. To touch someone." "You're very warm," I said. "I like it." "I could get used to this." Pulling away, I looked into her fire like eyes. "I-I'm going to have to go soon. I can't be away for too long." "You know where to find me," she said, not wanting to let go just yet, but she did. We went our separate ways and for the next few days, my father started to become lenient on me going out into the woods as he came up with nothing on Karlach's location. However, that meant he was going to keep a close eye on me, but in a different way. Every time I tried to go into the woods, he would linger around me. He was going to use me to see if I could be of use to him. I had to do something about him before I give away our meeting place. Early in the morning I headed out of the house and made my way down to the river. As soon as I reached the water, Karlach was sitting there, patiently waiting for me. Walking towards her, I sat beside her. She turned and smiled, placing her hand on my leg, greeting me. "Morning, Y/N," she said. "Morning, Karlach." "Something wrong?" "Y-Yeah," I said. "I-It's my father. He is now keeping a close eye on me, but in a different sense." "You're a grown adult. He doesn't think you'll be able to handle yourself?" "No. I think he's suspicious about me." "About what?" "I've been coming into the woods a lot more than I used to. So I think he's trying to follow me to see if I know anything about you." She shook her head, "I don't want to fight your father, but if he doesn't get the message of me wanting my freedom, I'll have to show it to him." "I don't blame you for wanting to do that. I might let you." She chuckled, playfully shoving me, "I do owe you for saving my life." "You don't need to owe me anything. I was just helping someone live." "Even then, I do need to pay you back for what you've done. I can't live with myself knowing that I didn't pay off a great debt."

"It was nothing, Karlach." "It was everything to me, Y/N." I nodded my head, "Alright. I'll let this one slide." She smiled, "So, what do I owe you?" I stood there, tapping my chin as I was thinking of what she could do to repay this debt. I really didn't want anything other than to be beside her longer. I don't know how much time I would have before we were either caught or her engine ran out. I guess that was the only thing she could do. "I want to spend more time with you." "That's all?" "Yeah." "Usually people ask for me to kill someone for them as their debt. Or to burn someone alive. But never getting to know someone on a more personal level." "Ever since I saved you that day, you never really left my head." "I could say the same thing about you, Y/N." "Why don't we walk and talk?" I asked standing up to take her hand, leading her further up the river. For the entire morning and into the afternoon, it was just the two of us. Nothing in the world mattered in that moment. It felt genuine to be with her. She was a genuine person to be around. Karlach gave off this positive energy despite being used for war for ten years. I really commend her for having such a bright personality. She was just so bubbly that I don't know why my father and Wyll are after her. She really just wanted to enjoy her time right here and right now. The sun started to set and we soon found ourselves sitting against a tree that was far up stream, far past my house and heading towards the mountain range. We were laughing as we sat beside one another, as Karlach told a joke that was absolutely terrible that I only laughed due to her infectious laugh. "You really are a good person, Karlach." "There are better, believe me, Y/N." "To me though, you're a good person." She smiled, "Thank you, Y/N. That means a lot to me." Stretching her arms, she yawned, her sharp teeth being bared to the air. They looked like they could hurt and rip into flesh if she tried. "Your teeth," I said. "What about them?" she turned in my direction. "They look sharp." "They kind of are. Want a first hand experience?" she smirked, one of her eyebrows perking upwards. I leaned towards her, placing my hand on her cheek. She leaned towards me and our lips brushed against one anothers before they pressed up against each other. Her lips were warm, as to be expected. My lips curled upwards as I smiled against her lips. Her mouth slightly opened and her teeth pinched at my bottom lip as she bit down on it. They were sharp, but she wasn't biting with enough force to make my lip bleed. Pulling away, her eyes and aura had changed. Instead of the bright, red flames they were, her engine was now blue and her eyes matched. The flames illuminating her hands were the same color. "W-Whoa," I smiled, admiring her blue flames. "Blue flames are the hottest of all flames," she said. "I got you heated, didn't I?" I chuckled. "Only you can do that, Y/N." I smiled and pulled her into a hug. Once she pulled away, she found her way in between my legs, resting her head on my lap. I giggled as I ran my hand through her red and black hair. Some parts of it felt like they were singed. My hand ran up the horn on the left side of her head while I tapped the broken horn on the right side. She closed her eyes and melted into my touch as I'd occasionally run my hand through her hair and down her arm. Her tail came around and wrapped loosely around my ankle. "Can we stay like this forever?" she asked. "Always, Karlach. Always," I said and leaned down, placing a kiss to her forehead.

[venusvity]

정윤아 … …  (  DUST BOWL.  )

❝The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.❞                         ―  Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa

CHARACTERS :   JUNG YOONAH …   KANG JUWON …   REID KIM

WORDS : 4.0K

WARNINGS / NOTES : Panic Attacks. Discussions of Drug Addiction, Abuse, Grooming, Being Locked in a Room Unwillingly, and Suicide. Lots of gears are turning now and I'm very excited! Yoonah going through it as usual! If I missed something, just let me know! Thank you so much for reading! rbs, comments, and asks are always appreciated ♡

“You think he’s going to buy your contract too?”

“I know he’s going to.”

“He told you?”

“No,” Reid takes a drag of his cigarette, shaking his long black hair out of his eyes as he leans against the back of the Rejects dorm, sitting in the dying grass of their backyard. “But he’s predictable.”

Yoonah huffs through her nose, smiling at the ground as she plays with Reid’s black lighter, letting the smooth plastic slide between her fingers.

“He is.”

Yoonah and Reid can talk for hours, but they never say much. It’s not like they have to. They already know so much about one another, what the other has been through, what they’ve seen, everything through fragmented conversations in a bloody bathtub. They’ve practically outgrown words and have matured into silences that say everything they need to say.

The silence between them right now is uncertain, only filled with puffs of smoke Reid exhales and inhales.

It was never easy to talk about Jinhwa with most people. Yoonah has tried to talk about him with Juwon but always wrapped her stories up too early when she’d see the look of horror on his face. She knew it wasn’t at her, but if someone as weathered as Juwon could hear her story and be moved to the point of grimacing, she had to wonder how bad it all was. 

The girls were no better. She tries to tell them about him, about what happened between them, but it always comes off wrong. Either too loving or too detached. “You still talk like you love him,” Chloe told her once while they were writing songs together, an activity that has become rare with time. They fought for twenty minutes after she said that, resulting in an unfinished song and Yoonah going home to cry into Juwon’s shoulder.

With Reid, it was never hard to talk about Jinhwa. He just seemed to understand even when she didn’t say anything.

Yoonah flicks the lighter to ignite a flame, watching the orange and yellow flicker and twist around. Reid watches her without words, honey-brown hues scanning her face for any kind of words. He stares at her for longer than what would be deemed appropriate, but Yoonah isn’t uncomfortable or even put off. She feels an odd sense of comfort. A weak gust of wind puts out the flame of her lighter, making her lips quirk to the side. Her gaze finally meets Reid’s, turning her head to face him. She can’t stop herself from smiling when she looks at him.

“Are you going to sign with him?” Yoonah wonders as she reaches over to take the cigarette from between his plump lips, placing it between hers to take a drag. Reid watches her with a soft chuckle, resting his head against the back of the house. 

“Probably,” Reid sighs, “Unless you don’t want me to.”

Yoonah scoffs, smoke wisping out of her mouth as she does so.

“Don’t say that.”

“I mean it,” Reid assures with a raise of his brows as he nods to elaborate. Yoonah gives him an unamused look before shaking her head and taking another drag of his cigarette. “I care about what you think. You’re my friend, you know?”

“I’m just a friend,” Yoonah reminds him. Reid smacks his lips together, eyes widening and head bobbling to tease her. She laughs, playfully hitting his arm with her free hand. “My opinion shouldn’t stunt your career.”

Reid rolls his eyes at her, giving her an unamused look before shrugging.

“I’m in a co-ed group,” Reid reminds her as he plucks his cigarette from between her fingers and puts it back between his lips. “My career has always been stunted.”

Yoonah laughs at that, hitting his arm again. She sees Reid smile around his cigarette, proud that his joke landed as he turns his head away to keep her from seeing his smile. It was a rare sight to see Reid smile so genuinely. She couldn't help but feel a warmth fill her chest, a feeling like she was home. She glances over at him, her heart skipping a beat as he takes another drag of his cigarette, his smile disappearing as he turns back into view.

“Seriously, though. I don’t want something so superficial to take this away.”

“This?” Yoonah repeats with a small smirk, raising her brows at him. Reid smiles again, this time shier and more nervous. He rubs his palm on his jeans.

“You know what I mean.” They lock eyes for a moment before Yoonah hums, looking at the grass and then at the fence in front of them.

“It’s fine, Sangwon. He’ll make you anyway.” Yoonah says the quiet part out loud, not looking up so she doesn’t have to see Reid’s reaction to the truth. She clears her throat.

“Thank you for asking, though. It means a lot.” She still doesn’t look at him, rubbing her fingers together. Suddenly, she feels his hand on the top of her head, making her look up with a small chuckle as he pats her head.  

“Anything for you, Nana.” Reid smiles, squeezing the top of her head gently before letting go. Yoonah takes a deep breath, feeling her cheeks heat up as she realizes she’s been blushing this whole time.

“Jinhwa! Jinhwa!” Her fist pounds on the door before going to the knob, trying to twist it but finding it locked. Yoonah pounds on the door again, a cry leaving her lips as her brows knit together in panic. “Jinhwa! Open the door!”

He doesn’t say anything, but she knows he’s there. Her heart is pounding, and her head is spinning. She pulls at the knob again, letting out a yell when it doesn’t budge. “Let me the fuck out!” Yoonah shouts, ramming her shoulder into the door once, twice, three times before letting out a scream. She’s lost so much weight these past few months it’s useless. The door doesn’t budge, and the man behind it still says nothing. Yoonah shakes her hands' card through her bleached blond hair, taking a deep breath that studders and turns into a whimper when tears spring into her eyes.

“Jinhwa…” Yoonah calls desperately, fear clear in her voice as she takes another shaky breath. “Jinhwa, please let me out.”

She can hear him sigh through the door. Yoonah rushes to the door, putting her palms flat against it as her bottom lip trembles.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-I shouldn’t have come here like this. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Please, let me out. I-I don’t want to be alone. Jinhwa, please.” Yoonah pleads desperately, her voice cracking and tears beginning to fall from her eyes as her head falls against the wood with a sob.

For a moment, she doesn’t think he’s going to say anything, making her sob again, shutting her eyes tightly.

“It’s just until you sober up,” He finally says, making her weakly hit her head against the door with another sob. “Just get some rest, Yoonah.”

Yoonah blinks herself awake, eyes wide and looking around before jolting up to take in her surroundings. Her heart is pounding and in her throat as she looks around, seeing her and Juwon’s room not Jinhwa’s. Her clothes are on the floor, Juwon’s bottom dresser drawer is slightly ajar, the blinds are shut, and Juwon sleeps beside her with soft yet deep breaths.

Without thought, she puts a hand on his arm, taking a deep breath when she feels his warm skin beneath her palm. He shifts in his sleep with a small grunt, rolling on his back, and she moves her hand to his chest.

“You had the dream again?” Juwon asks groggily, eyes still shut as Yoonah swallows the spit in her mouth. She doesn’t answer; she just exhales shakily through her nose, which seems to answer enough for Juwon. He opens his eyes, rubbing them with the heel of his palm as his other hand wraps around her waist to pull her down to his chest. Yoonah falls against him, resting her palm on his stomach and her cheek against his chest's warm skin. 

Juwon’s hand rubs gently at her side, pressing his lips to the top of her head to soothe her, but nothing inside Yoonah relaxes. She stares ahead of her, moving her hand against his stomach as she does so to feel his skin beneath her. Juwon is strong and sculpted, warm, and comforting, except now. The warmth doesn’t reach her racing heart, making her brows pinch and bottom lip quiver. A silent plea goes through her head as she feels her bottom lip tremble, begging herself to calm down to find peace in the man she’s supposed to love for the rest of her life, but the plea is left unanswered, and a sob escapes her lips.

“Baby,” Juwon whispers as she ducks her head down to press into his chest as if to burrow herself into his ribcage, locking herself inside him so she could never leave. “It’s okay. It’s okay. He can’t hurt you anymore.” It’s the same mantra Juwon has repeated to her for months now, but tonight it felt especially hollow. Yoonah swallows thickly, lifting her head with a sniffle as she looks at Juwon’s face. He’s already staring at her, long black hair around him like a halo, features strong and striking as usual as he reaches up to take her face into his palm, stroking her wet cheek with his thumb. She blinks down at him, tears still spilling from her eyes as her lips part to speak, but just a sigh comes out.

“I ache,” Yoonah finally whispers, touching her heart. I want to feel normal again. I feel like I’m going crazy.” Juwon tucks her hair behind her ear, his dark brows knitting at her confession before he nods with a sad smile. Yoonah can see the guilt in his eyes, which only makes her ache more.

“It’ll take time–”

“I don’t have time, Juwon. Every day, it just gets worse, and I–” She stops herself before her admission, shaking her head as more tears roll down her cheeks. Juwon pushes himself to sit up in the midst of her talking, taking her head into both his hands and pulling her towards him to rest their foreheads together. Yoonah takes a shaky breath, another sob tumbling from her lips as his nose bumps against hers. 

“I won’t let anything happen to you, do you understand? I love you so much, Yoonah. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

Anything but say no, she thinks as she stares into his eyes with an unrelenting gaze. Yoonah bites the inside of her cheek, shaking her head out of his hands with another sniffle. Juwon sighed in defeat when she pulled away from him, watching as she climbed out of their bed, wearing athletic shorts and a tank top. She’s been wearing his shirts less and less. They don’t seem to fit right anymore.

Yoonah locks herself in their bathroom, keeping the light off for a few moments so the only light that fills the small room is the warm orange one from the nightlight near the sink.

Yoonah exhales shakily, her reflection in the mirror showing a face streaked with tears and eyes filled with turmoil. She reaches for her phone on the sink counter, her fingers hovering over Reid's contact before finally pressing call. The phone rings once, twice, and then a deep voice answers.

"Yoonah? Are you okay? What happened?"

A strange sense of calm washes over her at the sound of his voice, like a cool breeze on a scorching day. "Reid," she breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper. "I... I needed to hear your voice."

There's a moment of silence on the other end before Reid's gravelly voice responds, "What happened?" His tone is gruff, but there's an underlying concern that Yoonah can detect.

Yoonah swallows hard, trying to steady her voice. “I’m…I’m having a really hard time with Juwon. I…Um, I just can’t-It’s so hard to look at him and it’s killing me. I just see Jinhwa. He’s fucking everywhere, and I–I–I feel like I’m going to explode.” Yoonah's voice trembles with each word, the vulnerability in her tone palpable even through the phone. She can almost hear the furrow forming on Reid's forehead as he listens intently.

Reid's silence encourages her to continue and pour out the emotions she's held back for so long. “I thought love was supposed to make you feel safe, but lately, it feels like a cage closing in on me. Juwon... he says he loves me, but I just…I don’t know how someone could love me as much as he says he does and do that to me.”

The darkness of the bathroom seems to echo her words back at her, magnifying the weight of her confession. Yoonah clutches the phone tighter as if Reid's presence on the other end is the lifeline she desperately needs in this storm.

“Nana,” he started, his tone a mixture of caution and curiosity. You know the difference between being trapped and being held. It sounds like you're feeling more like the former right now.” There was a pause before he continued, his words deliberate and thoughtful. Yoonah nearly sobbed at his words, covering her eyes with the hand that didn’t desperately clutch her phone. “You're smarter than this. You know what you’re feeling. Don’t trap yourself.”

Yoonah whimpers, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand with a nod before taking a deep breath through her nose.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s just…” Yoonah can’t stop herself from sobbing again, covering her eyes as she leans against the counter. She can hear Reid’s sheets move around, and his feet hit the floor as she swallows the saliva in her mouth, trying to get herself together. “It’s just hard. I love him so much, but…I don’t feel warm anymore.”

“Feel warm?” Reid questions, confused. Yoonah laughs at his clear confusion at her word choice, swallowing again with a nod.

“Yeah, like, when you love someone you feel all warm inside,” Yoonah explains to him, putting a hand over her heart. “It’s like getting butterflies but all the time.”

“That sounds awful.” Reid’s deadpanned response makes Yoonah chuckle, making Her smile for the first time that night. She hears a door open on his side of the line, and her brows knit together.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Reid replies gruffly as a door shuts and keys jingle. Yoonah looks around with just her eyes in slight confusion. “I’m on my way.”

“On your way were?”

“To see you.”

“Huh?” Yoonah blurts a bit too loudly, leaning forward in sudden confusion. Reid airly laughs at her outburst.

“You called me crying, and you expected me to not come check on you? Come on, Nana. You should know me better than that.”

Yoonah lets a silence fall between them as she processes what Reid said to her. She can’t stop a smile from forming on her lips, looking around as an airy laugh leaves her throat.

“You know Juwon is home, right?”

“Yeah,” Reid shrugs, “And? We can go somewhere he isn’t. He’s not my concern.”

Yoonah feels her chest get hot when she realizes she’s his concern. It was the middle of the night, and he didn’t even question getting in his car and driving over to comfort her. She can’t place the feeling, but she knows she likes it.

One might say she adores it.

Reid’s car is small. 

It has black leather seats that stick to Yoonah’s thighs and a radio that looks like it’s from 2015, but Yoonah doesn’t say anything. She thinks it adds to Reid’s allure and fits his character, but she doesn’t say anything again. She just gets in the car and lets him take her to a Dairy Queen, where he orders her an Oreo Blizzard. Her favorite.

They don’t say anything for a while. They just sit in the parking lot and eat their ice cream as a static rendition of a popular indie song plays over Reid’s radio.

“You wanna talk about that nightmare you had?” Reid asks between bites of his Reeces blizzard, shoveling it down like a child about to get caught for eating past his bedtime. Yoonah hums around her red plastic spoon, looking out her window with a sigh before shrugging her shoulders.

“It’s nothing new,” Yoonah tells him with another shrug, taking another bite of her ice cream. Reid grunts in response, taking another bite of his ice cream.

“Who cares? Let it out. That’s why we’re here.” He uses her spoon to tell her to go on, twirling it in the air before it dips back into his cup. Yoonah can’t argue with that, clearing her throat as she sits up straighter and sighs.

Talking about Jinhwa has always been hard for Yoonah. She never gets the response she wants from people. She wants them to tell her it wasn’t that bad, that he wasn’t that bad, that one day they could work it out and get back together, but they never do. It’s always “Poor Yoonah.” or “I’m so sorry, Yoonah.” never anything she wants to hear. A part of Yoonah longs for Jinhwa, but another part of her loathes him. She fears she only does so because she’s told to. Would she have ever hated Jinhwa if Bliss hadn’t stepped in and gotten Iseul involved? She hates that question because she doesn’t know how to answer it.

“It’s not a big deal,” Yoonah starts, leaning in the crook of the door and his seat. Reid gives her an unenthused look because he doesn’t believe her. She continues. “When I was hooked on drugs, he really didn’t like that. ‘Said it made me trashy, and he wasn’t wrong but, yeah, he didn’t like it. One night, I was at his house––I lived there, basically––and it was after dinner I just got so…” She lifts a hand next to her head, shaking it slightly as she twitches a bit, trying to give a physical representation of how she was feeling back then.

Reid nods with a hum, taking a bite of his ice cream. Yoonah likes that he understands so easily.

“Anxious, I guess? I don’t know. I did a line in his bathroom, and he could tell I was high. It pissed him off, so he threw me in his room and locked me in there.” Yoonah looks up at the car's roof, scratching behind her ear with a swallow. She can still feel the way the walls closed in on her, how raw her throat felt because of her crying. Her hand gets random aches, and she swears it's from how hard she was banging on that door, trying, begging, pleading to get out.

“How long?” Reid wonders after a beat of silence.

Yoonah mindlessly stirs around her ice cream, lips quirking to the side.

“Five days.” She runs her tongue against the underside of her teeth. Reid whistles lowly, brows raised in slight shock. “He was trying to detox me. ‘Didn’t work ‘cus I tired to fucking kill myself with his razor on night five but-” She shrugs like nothing, shoving her spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to shut herself up. She’s talked for too long, or at least she feels she has.

Reid's silence doesn’t feel like their usual one. It makes her sigh through her nose, lifting her eyes to look at him, only to find him staring at her with an unreadable stare. Yoonah tilts her head at him, blinking a few times. Reid shakes his head.

“Don’t do that,” Reid tells her. Yoonah shakes her head this time, looking away from him with a small huff. Reid laughs softly through his nose. She can hear his spoon scraping against the bottom of his cup.

“I’m not telling you that wasn’t awful. He shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“No shit,” Yoonah dryly replies, biting the inside of her cheek. “I shouldn’t have-”

“Yoonah,” Reid interjects as he raises a hand to both verbally and physically stop her, “Nothing you did would excuse him locking you in a room for five days. Nothing. You know it, too. You’re not stupid.”

Reid has always been blunt. It was one of the things Yoonah liked about him but now she feels like his words are cutting through her like knives. They’re not what she wants to hear. She wants to be overreacting. She wants to be dramatic. She wants to be dismissed. Yoonah swallows the lump in her throat, rubbing her nose with a sniff.

“He never hit me.” Yoonah throws that out there without even thinking. It doesn’t fit into the conversation, so she doesn’t know why she says it, but she does anyway. Reid doesn’t say anything; just turns his head towards her to listen. He rubs his lips together when he looks at her, watching her push her hair behind her ears as she places her half-finished cup of ice cream in his cupholder, silently offering it to him. He doesn’t take it; he just glances at it before returning his attention to her.

“He didn’t groom me either. That word is so fucking stupid. I wasn’t a kid when we met, but everyone acted like I was a toddler. No, I was eighteen. I was old enough to make decisions for myself, and that’s what I did. I made the decision to date Jinhwa because I love him, and he loves me, and that’s how it was supposed to be; then everything got fucked up because I couldn’t handle a fucking detox. I just fucking ruined it, and now-now look at me,” Yoonah shoots off, gaining speed with each word until it sounds like one big jumbled and shaky mess. Tears brim her eyes, and her lips form a wobbly line as she looks down at her hands, picking at her cuticles to calm herself down. It only stings with every pluck, making her brows knit together with a shake of her head.

“I have an apartment and a dog with a guy I can’t fucking look at because-because he’s a hypocrite and an idiot. He’s so fucking stupid he signed with Jinhwa despite telling me so many times I’m the victim! He thinks I’m a victim, and he signs a contract to work with the guy he thinks abused me? What the fuck is that? I can’t stand him. I fucking hate him. I hate looking at him, I hate talking to him, I hate it so much, and there’s nothing I can do because all I had was Jinhwa. He was all I had, and now I have nothing but Juwon––Oh my god, all I have is Juwon.” When she finally takes a breath, she sobs, covering her face with her palms. Before she can really start crying, Yoonah groans out of what has to be frustration, stopping any tears with violent wipes of her eyes. Still, Reid silently takes her hand into his, squeezing tightly.

Just as silent, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing them to the top of the pale skin. Yoonah sniffles, looking at him in slight confusion, but there’s a fondness in her eyes that she can’t hide even if she wants to. She forces a tight smile, squeezing his hand, waiting for him to say something but he just brings her hand to his chest so she can feel his heart beating. It’s fast but even. It tells Yoonah all she needs to know.

A tight laugh leaves her lips, sniffling.

“I got you?” Yoonah asks softly, just to make sure. Reid, for once, smiles. He nods.

“You got me.”

[magewolf-the-artist]

Domestic K-9: Incorrect Quotes (Kinda)

Note that some of these have been modified and two of them are originals.

Bon: BE A BETTER PERSON! 

Felix: WHY?! 

Bon: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

Susan: The joy of hanging out with Charles. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and they bite the tip of a marker off.

Molly: Is the pink panther a lion? 

Edd: Say that again but slower. 

Molly: I don’t get it. 

Edd: He’s a PANTHER. 

Molly: Is that a type of lion? 

Edd: No, it’s a fucking panther. 

Molly: *somehow accesses google and searches up panther* They aren’t pink? 

Edd: AND LIONS ARE?!

Charles: Susan, I screwed up, big time. 

Susan: You’re going to have to be more specific than that.

Susan: *hands Linda a ‘bouquet’ of flowers. In reality it’s a fistful of withered dandelions and dead grass* Before you say it, I know it’s not much, but it was the only thing I could find.

Linda takes the bouquet with a smile despite the shoddy quality.

Linda: Awww, they’re just like you. Dead and decaying with hints of life.

Susan.exe has stopped working.

Bon: Hey there happy campers-!

Susan: What the fuck makes you think we’re happy?

Bon: … hey there extremely depressed campers!

Bon: honk. 

Charles: WHAT. 

Bon: HONK. 

Charles: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Charles: Please, Person B, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. 

Susan: I’m sorry Charles. 

Charles: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. 

Susan: It has to be done. 

Susan: 

Charles: 

Susan: *Places +4* Uno.

Felix: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. 

Bon: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

Felix: I think it’s time I get my life in order. 

Jack’s ghost: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

Bon: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! 

Susan: Please, just say fuck.

Bon: I REGRET NOTHING!!!

Felix: I REGRET EVERYTHING!!!

Molly: Aunt Susan, I want a bedtime story! 

Susan: I’m busy. I’ll tell you one tomorrow. 

Molly: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed! 

Susan: Once upon a time, there was a person named Molly, who always wanted things their way. One day, their friends got sick of it and locked them in the basement for the rest of their life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end. 

Molly: I don’t like these stories with morals.

Susan: Damn, the power went out. 

Charles: Don’t worry, I got this. 

Charles: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up* 

Susan: What-? 

Charles: I swallowed a glow stick! 

Susan, absolutely appalled: WHY WOULD YOU-

Bon: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

Edd: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

Bon: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Susan: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

[acourtofthought]

Rhys was Feyre's biggest supporter. He was the the one who wanted her deepest, darkest thoughts, who got real and raw.

“You are no one’s subject.”

“You want to save the mortal realm?” he asked. “Then become someone Prythian listens to. Become vital. Become a weapon. Because there might be a day, Feyre, when only you stand between the King of Hybern and your human family. And you do not want to be unprepared.”

“You didn’t ask. And why bother? Better to be miserable and alone.”

“Work for me,” Rhysand said.

Rhysand was silent beside me. Yet after a moment, he said, “Out with it.” I lifted a brow. “You say what’s on your mind—one thing. And I’ll say one, too.”

Cassian was Nesta's biggest supporter while also the one who wanted to understand, who confronted her with hard truths.

“You won’t join me for practice, so you sure as hell aren’t going to hold your own in a fight. You won’t talk about your powers, so you certainly aren’t going to be able to wield them.

I’m pissed off that you can’t seem to believe even one good thing about her. That you refuse to fucking believe one good thing about her. Was it necessary to bait her like that?

“I’m tired of playing these bullshit games.”

Her gloved fingers scraped against his calluses, but he held firm. “Talk to me. Nesta. Tell me—”

Was either male always perfect? No. Did they make mistakes along the way and say the wrong thing from time to time? Definitely. Did other characters also show support for Feyre and Nesta? Sure.

But it cannot be denied that Rhys and Cassian were the main catalyst for both Feyre and Nesta's transformation into who they were meant to become. They were the ones who, throughout the females depression, kept pushing for them to fight and live (and I don't just mean in a warrior fighting sense. I mean to be more and do more). More than any other character, Rhys and Cassian fought for Feyre and Nesta.

Can the same be said for Azriel? Is he Elain's biggest supporter? Have we ever seen him encourage her? Tell her she is capable of more? Even with TT, he wasn't telling Elain she had it in her to wield it, he told her the blade itself was possibly magic and would strike true so really, she didn't need to do much at all. And thank goodness Mor begged him to sit out of the war otherwise I doubt he'd have offered up TT in the first place anyway.

Every single moment where Az could have stepped up for Elain, where he could have encouraged her to say more, could have encouraged her to do more, he dropped the ball.

“Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. “It will serve you well.” “I—I don’t know how to use it—” “I’ll make sure you don’t have to,” I said, grass crunching as I stepped closer.

First Az tells Elain the dagger will serve her. She doesn't need to do much at all since it's magic will strike true. Then when Elain expresses concern over her ability to use it, Az doesn't encourage her, he doesn't tell her he believes in her. Instead Feyre says "you won't have to" and that's that. Neither Az or Elain push Elain to believe in herself.

Especially as he gently said to my sister, “Happy Solstice.” Elain turned from the snow falling in the darkness beyond and smiled slightly. “I’ve never participated in one of these.” Amren supplied from across the room, Varian at her side, resplendent in his princely regalia, “They’re highly overrated.”

Again, Elain opened the door to further conversation with Az after he greeted her. It would have been a perfect time for him to ask what she thought of the festivities so far, the buildup to the holiday. This is her first celebratory gathering since leaving the Human Lands and Az has nothing to ask her?!? It's a big deal for her when you think about why she's never been to one of these yet SJM chooses to have Amren respond, leaving Az to completely drop the conversation with Elain. Sure we later see Feyre mention that he's listening to her talk about seeds but when you look back over the endgame couples, that would be like Rhys asking Feyre in ACOMAF about what paintbrushes she likes best 🤦. We never witness Elain and Az having a deep and meaningful conversation about the real problems they've got going on.

Even in ACOWAR / ACOFAS, we see Lucien talk about her being in love with Graysen and we see him discuss that she's been through something terrible. You know what Az talks about? "You got a power and the NC could use one of those!". He literally says nothing at all to her or even Feyre about the very major problems Elain is dealing with at that point in her life. How she was violated, changed, her physical decline due to eating. Even Feyre thinking about how Az stared at her too-thin body is Feyre's thoughts about Elain's fragile state, we don't know what Az is thinking.

Cassian looked at Rhys, who’d dropped off the middle Archeron sister before retrieving Cassian from Windhaven.

“You and Nesta are wanted down there.” “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”

Elain is about to see her sister for the first time in a long time yet SJM has Rhys there to fly her back and forth. And later, we find Azriel had no idea that this major moment between the sisters happened until Cassian tells him. Lucien stays away because he knows Elain doesn't want him around right now (or that's what we're to assume she feels since we don't have her pov). Rhys stayed away from Feyre at the start of ACOMAF because he thought she was happy with Tamlin. Cassian stayed away from Nesta in ACOFAS because Nesta didn't want him around (which she told him in actual words). Az stays away from Elain......... because Az chooses to stay away from Elain. Every other male did what they thought the female wanted while Az does what he wants because of his issues, not because Elain asked that he stay away.

Nesta said to Feyre, “Did you tell Elain?”. Before Feyre could reply, Azriel said, “What about Mor?”

This conversation occurred after Nesta and Elain's fight about her searching for the Trove but in the same scene. The very first words Az speaks after that fight, after Feyre announces her pregnancy and Nesta asks if Elain knows are "what about Mor?". That is what / who Azriel is worried / thinking about?! Considering this male loved Mor for 500+ years but is now supposedly over her, I'd be a little triggered that Mor is the person that he's focused on at this moment.

“Do you think Nesta can find the Trove?” Azriel asked Cassian

(in one scene, we have Azriel ask if Nesta can find the Trove where in a later scene, he flat out tells everyone Elain shouldn't even try)

Amren said, “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.”

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

“But Nesta should?” Cassian growled.

She threw a nod toward Azriel. “Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Who stands up for Elain in this scene? Certainly not Az who seems to have no issues with Nesta searching for the Trove. And since when does an SJM Endgame male love interest believe the female he cares for is less capable of doing something than her sister? Imagine if Rhys had said, "Feyre, I don't think you're able to handle the Weaver so lets send Nesta instead." 😬. And when Amren called Az out, SJM could have had Az apologize and admit she's right but.... we..... get..... NOTHING.

“She made ballrooms into battlefields and plotted like any general. Like you two,” she said, nodding to Cassian, and then, a bit more shyly, to Azriel.

Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from.

Another instance where Az could have said something, ANYTHING to Elain, about Elain. This entire scene is Elain talking about her happiness over Nesta and the Valkyries, Elain talking about an experience she had in the human lands, and you know what Az wants to know? What happened to the duke. 🤦

where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them.

Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

Yes, let's again sit here and just watch Elain yet say nothing to her (which is not the same thing as what's going on with Elucien. Lucien has picked up on Elain's social cues that she is not ready to interact with him so he is respecting that). Az doesn't even nod to her in greeting, just stares at her. This female he's somehow become oh so close to and he's got nothing to say because somehow love is only heated glances and lingering touches. Can you show me one SJM endgame couple whose relationship was built on that?

“Why did you come if it torments you so much?”

“Because Rhys wants me here. It’d hurt him if I didn’t come.”

So I guess it wouldn't hurt Elain if Az didn't show up? He's only worried about how his absence would make Rhys feel? Not the female who, according to some, loves him? And again, since when does an SJM male avoid a female who is open to seeing him because he can't handle it? Elain is willing to be around Az yet he is putting himself first by avoiding her? 🤔. Every other SJM male is willing to take whatever scraps the female throws his way. Rhys knew he was Feyre's mate and when she claimed she only wanted him for fun and a distraction, he gave that to her despite how awful it made him feel. Despite his worries that no one could ever truly want him because of who he was and the baggage that came with it.

Cassian suspected Nesta was his mate yet he still took her offers of "only sex" regardless of how that bothered him and worsened his belief that he'd always be a bastard born nobody. He still pushed to be near her anytime she showed the tiniest bit of willingness.

Az is the only male who avoids a female love interest, unwilling to accept whatever attention Elain might give him since he can't stand that the "third sister" has a bond with someone else and Lucien got to be part of a group with his brothers. Love is supposed to trump the bond, is it not? In the end, the bond isn't supposed to be the thing that matters, right? It's just supposed to be a nice bonus.

"I wasn't sure if I should give you your present". He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, and sleeping a level up."

"He left the rest unspoken". This would have been the moment folks! The moment where Az could have broached the subject about Lucien, with Elain. The moment for us to see him ask her about her bond and what her plans are. It is a huge problem that Az completely avoided the topic that they really need to discuss if they're truly in love with one another.

"This was a mistake".

No, no, no. This is all backwards because SJM likes her females to say this sort of thing, even if they don't mean it. In a romance, no one wants to see the MMC hurt the female, it's much more difficult for the male to get in our good graces after he screws her over. Unless you're into bully romance, then you know what you're asking for, but that's not SJMs style.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"I don't know what you're talking about".

"What of Mor, Az?"

Azriel ignored the question.

"You believe you deserve to be her Mate?"

Azriel scowled. "I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him, anyway."

"So you'll what?" "Seduce her away from him?"

Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to."

"If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it"

Azriel snarled softly.

"Rhys, I'm over Mor!" "I want to be with Elain because I care for her!" "I don't want her just for sex!" "We plan on talking to Lucien together!"

There are any number of things SJM could have had Azriel say to Rhys to ease his fears yet Az said none of them. And I don't want to hear that BS that Az doesn't know how to communicate well and that's why he didn't respond. If he's a big enough boy to risk the peace of their entire nation for love, if he's a brave enough boy to risk his life over and over again, he should be able to talk to his friend of over 500 years and reassure him he's not just using Elain to get laid.

If he can't do that then he isn't mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone.

But, I think what it all comes down to is the author purposely chose to let these moments pass by showing us where Azriel dropped the ball. Where he doesn't have what it takes to be the right person for Elain. There were so many opportunities where he could have been her biggest supporter (not protector), where he could have tried having a real conversation with her about her struggles, where he could have opened up and admitted to his own, and where he could have convinced Rhys, aka the readers, that his obsession with Elain was more than lust but he wasn't and he didn't.

And I think that's a pretty strong argument for why E/riel is not meant to be.

[fairykazu]

memories

masterlist

SCARLET LEAVES WILD WINDS: kazuha kaedehara x gn! reader

although kazuha is known to be the type to wander, you were the same. not like how he wandered around though; you traveled for your profession as an apothecarist. you two met when you were looking for inazuma specialities to make medicine for children less bitter other than using sweet flowers. 

you were stuck in your journal in narukami island. you mumbled to yourself, “where’s the naku weeds?” you have heard in conversations and books that naku weeds could contain properties to heal or reduce inflammation. you sat down on a rock, tossing your journal aside. the glass vials slung around your waist clinked together. though, you had a bad feeling in your stomach, you dismissed it as a craving issue. 

until you heard footsteps behind you, you quickly retrieved your journal as a deep voice spoke up, “hah! it’s my lucky day!” when you turned around, the samurai (you think) unsheathed his blade from his sheath; another followed his suit, cocking a gun. you winced while you tried to defend yourself but you only had your vials on you and nearly dodged a firework-bullet. shit, the day you thought you didn’t need your weapon. but suddenly, a breeze flew by. 

you could only hope that barbatos was sending a savior your way. 

and thank archons, he was. you could feel someone’s presence while you tumbled back. one of your vials broke but you didn’t dare to look away from the fighting scene. the “savior”, barbatos sent you, has ivory hair with a red streak pulled back in a side ponytail. 

“fallen leaves... adorn my night.” a sudden breeze collided with the samurais together. you werent the type to be engrossed with fighting; the way this person fought so delicately yet efficiently, nearly took your heart out. mostly because the savior is attractive; thank you, barbatos!

you didn’t notice the fight with the samurais (well, you think they are. but they wore different uniforms… maybe it wasn’t a samurai).

“hello, mx? are you okay after the nobushis tried to attack you?” he asked, offering his hand to you. you gratefully accepted, hoping your heaving wasn’t noticeable. everything became calmer when you saw his ruby eyes, it reminded you of the warmth of a fire in the winter. you didn’t notice you were in a trance until he tapped your shoulder, 

“mx?” 

you snapped out immediately. “ah! yes, i am and thank you,” you replied, reaching for the vials on your belt sheepishly. he hummed back a tune which you took as a “your welcome”. until you remember you’re missing two different vials, “wait, sir, can you help me with something?”

he looked at the vial missing at your belt before glancing at the vial on the ground. the material was already scattered across the grass and it’s not if you can’t get the materials back, you can but it would be mixed with the dirt. “i assume it’s for the vials you need and of course, i can. mx, i’m kaedehara kazuha and you are?” 

“oh, i’m name! i just need some naku weeds to soothe one of my clients’ inflammation. i’ve heard from other medics that it helps. do you know where to find it?” 

“of course, i do, name…” kaedehara trailed off to tell you about his adventures. once you collected enough materials to fill up your vials, you thanked him and went about your day. you kept touch with kaedehara enough to refer to him as his first name. each letter kazuha has sent to you has personalized poems, they never fail to make you flustered. 

you would leave riddles of your next destination of materials and kazuha would always be at the exact spot. this time, you laid a clue about starsnatch cliff: “where the intangible as the true heart of an unbound soul thrives.” it took awhile for kazuha to come where you were but at last, he was by your side. 

“ha! i knew i could beat you by sunset.” you laughed as kazuha hid behind his hands. he sheepishly responded,

“i didn’t know i had to be knowledgable in flowers trivial. it hurts to say that it took more time than i wanted” 

“oh, c’mon, kazuha! you know me.” 

“i do.”

he liked to reminisce on old memories, especially at the brink of dawn and even more so when you’re in his arms. he kissed your forehead softly before whispering an i love you. what he did not expect is that you said it back. 

“i love you too, kazuha. but go back to bed; i have a day off tomorrow.” you replied as he nuzzled his head into your neck and you felt a smile spread.

[softquietsteadylove]

Gil makes friends with an unusual Pokémon and this one decides very stubbornly he wants to be his partner Pokémon to someone who never really fought a battle.

Gil has no idea what to do and asks Thena for help

Snap!

Gil looked down, dread filling him from the neck down. Under his boot was a very nice leek stalk. And a very nice, very sturdy, plucked leek could only mean one thing. He looked up, "uh..."

"Farfetch'd!"

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" Gil held up his hands as the furious Wild Duck pokemon stormed out of the pondside grass and towards him. "I didn't mean to!"

"Far-Farfetch'd!" Well, of course he hadn't meant to, but what was done, was done!

"I know, I'm sorry, really!" Gil continued to plead, even holding up the snapped leek. "I would never-!"

The ruffled bird pokemon continued to glare at him, the marking of its 'unibrow' making it look even more severe. It snatched back the two halves of the leek from him in a huff. "Farf!"

"I really am sorry," Gil repeated, sadder this time as he watched the Farfetch'd look at its beloved leek forlornly. He removed his hat and pressed it to his chest. "I can help you find another one."

"Far?"

"I will," Gil nodded, already resolute to help no matter what duties he was putting off by doing so. "I'm a pokemon ranger. I took an oath to help any and every pokemon that needs my help."

The pokemon looked skeptical at best. It even crossed its wings at him in a look of pure disbelief, "Far-Farfetched."

"Well," Gil ruffled his hair in the face of the pokemon's skepticism. "No--but if you tell me what you're looking for, at least I can help you look twice as fast, right?"

Farfetch'd continue to glare at him, mostly, but he could see the expression on its face lightening. It slapped its webbed feet on the grass a little more firmly, "Farfetch'd?"

"I won't leave until I make this right," Gil vowed to the small avian pokemon, holding up his hand like he did on his first day of initiation.

Farfetch'd did not seem moved by his solemnity, but it did shrug its wings before tucking its broken leek under one of them. "Far!"

"Yes, sir," Gil chuckled. He wasn't used to such a non-confrontational - at least with humans - pokemon being so bossy. But the obstinate little duck reminded him of someone. "So, uh, I know the basic height and shape, but what else should I know?"

"Far!" he squawked back at him as he began rooting through the lower grasses as Gil searched the higher stalks. "Far-Farfetch'd-Far."

"Right," Gil murmured, directing his attention to the colours of the stalks of choice, as well as the thickness of them. This would be Farfetch'd's primary mode of protection, after all. Even if Farfetch'd mostly only confronted other Farfetch'd, he would still need to defend himself.

"Farfetch'd?"

Gil looked up and over, although Farfetch'd was entirely focused on the task at hand. He just wasn't used to making small talk with a wild pokemon. "Uh, y-yeah, I have a, uh, family...of sorts."

"Farfetched?"

Gil blushed faintly, batting some taller water grass out of his way. "I don't know if I'd say a hatchling, but we have a...we have a Teddiursa. I rescued him and he imprinted on Thena, so-"

"Far?"

"Yes!" Gil huffed, feeling agitated by the bird's overly direct line of questioning. He really tried not to let pokemon get him on the 'mate' topic, though. "She has a house up at the top of the mountain."

"Far," the little pokemon mused aloud, tapping the bottom of its beak. Only very strong trainers and pokemon chose to live so high up and in the open.

"Yeah, she is tough," he chuckled. "I think you'd like her."

"Fetch'd," he looked back over at Gil, still with no leek suiting his fine tastes. "Far-Farfetch'd."

Gil laughed, picking one with potential, "nah, I'm the lucky one. I love my job, but they also make it nice to go home to someone, y'know?"

"Far." Farfetched looked down at the grass beneath its feet, even the feathers at the top of its head sinking lower.

"Oh," Gil uttered gently, taking in the suddenly more melancholy Farfetch'd. Sure, not everyone in every colony managed to find a nestmate, but he couldn't imagine what it was like to be the only one without that feeling of having a family. "Hey."

Farfetched look up at Gil, letting him pat the top of his head, feathers and all. He sighed.

"Listen," Gil smiled down at the little guy. "I know it's hard to really devote yourself to taking care of everyone else. It takes a lot out of you, right?"

"Far," the pokemon reluctantly agreed, the weight of his responsibilities to the flock weighing on his wings.

"But you're doing great work, right? I bet your colony has been really safe all these years with you," Gil attempted to encourage him. "You may not have hatchlings of your own, but you've helped keep all of them safe."

"Far?"

"Really," he smiled, taking a seat next to the reticent duck. "That's kind of what it feels like to be a ranger, y'know?"

"Farfetch'd?" it tilted its head at him, also seating itself properly.

"Well," Gil shrugged, ruffling his hair under his hat. "Being a ranger is a tough job. And I'm not saying rangers never think 'oh, this would be so much easier if I had my own pokemon'. I'm lucky I have a Dragonite I hatched from an egg, but a lot of rangers don't have pokemon who are really bonded to them like that. We don't believe in it."

"Farfetch'd?"

Gil sighed, tugging at the collar of his vest. "Pokemon are amazing creatures, and we're lucky to share our world together. I don't wanna force any pokemon to be bound to me, in a pokeball or otherwise. Even Dragonite--I hatched him, but he doesn't have a pokeball. If he didn't wanna stick around, or be a ranger, he didn't have to be. He chose that life."

"Farfetch'd!" the bird pokemon squawked, starry-eyed at the idea of a pokemon having such a designated and impressive job.

"Yeah, he's the best," Gil laughed in agreement. "And now our little Teddi is a ranger too! Well, a ranger in training. He's still a Mama's cub when he gets home."

"Fa-fa-far," Farfetched chuckled into its wing.

"Don't tell him I said that! If you ever meet him," Gil rushed to amend. Teddiursa felt very strongly about being babied these days.

"Farfetch'd," the bird agreed, nodding and raising a solemn wing as a promise.

"Thanks," Gil sighed. He looked at Farfetch'd again. "So listen, I get it. It's hard to devote your life to the service of others like that. But you're doing good work, and I'm sure your colony really appreciates it."

"Far," Farfetch'd hummed, tapping its beak again. He looked up at Gil, something about his expression shifting.

"I really admire you, and all the work you've done," Gil tipped his hat to the pokemon.

"Farfetch'd!"

"Huh?" Gil blinked at the sudden demand. But Farfetch'd jumped back onto its feet, flapping his wings, repeating the request to see his life as a ranger--to meet his family! "I-I don't-"

"Far-Farfetch'd!" he repeated. He wanted to see what it was like to be a colony protector of a different kind! He wanted to see life outside the grasslands! And he wanted to know more about this ranger.

"I don't really, y'know," Gil paused. He had just described how he didn't really have a partner pokemon, and Dragonite and Teddiursa somewhat fit into that category for him. But he didn't think it was an invitation.

"Farfetch'd," the bird pokemon stood tall, though. "Far-Farfetch'd."

Gil looked at the stubborn pokemon. He had to admit, he did make him think somewhat of Thena and how hard headed she could be sometimes. Farfetch'd was a pokemon who was used to being a diligent protector and caretaker. He would probably fit right in with them. Gil sighed.

"Far?"

"I don't have pokeballs," he held his hands up. "But if you wanna just come and...see the ranger centre--I guess that's fine. Don't get ahead of yourself, okay? I'm not...catching you, or anything."

"Fa-fa-far-fetch'd!" he laughed in the face of his reluctance.

Gil rolled his eyes; a pokemon laughing at him would fit right in with Thena's pokemon just fine. "Okay, let's go I guess."

"Farfetch'd!!!"

"Right, s-sorry," Gil nearly tripped. He had almost forget they had to find him a replacement leek first.

[cardworksartblog]

As I walk into the field, lit by the slowly fading light of sunset, I feel your eyes bore into me.

The forest rustles with anticipation, I feel your hands shake from miles away. I know you're there, as I make slow, deliberate strides toward the fence that keeps the wilderness, like you, out of our fields.

The townsfolk stand at the edge of the field from whence I came, watching with fear in their eyes. I do this every friday, and you've ensured I return to my kin safely by sunset of each saturday.

And yet they've not learned to trust me, trust you.

As I hop over the fences, muscle memory proving strong, you nearly step out to embrace me early, just on the cusp of where the villagers could shoot their arrows.

But then you meet my gaze, and falter. You think better of it. You know they'd kill us both for such a display. The forest quiets now, as I tear myself away from your eyes to look back at my kin.

I smile, giving them a little wave. A few of the children wave back excitedly, they eagerly await my visits to you. I always bring back your stories, written onto the birchwood you prefer. The children love them.

They're the only ones in the town who dare to listen.

As I finally take the last step into the verdant path, as I am engulfed by leaves and sticks and grass and you, I laugh. You hold me close, beautiful claws gentle and loving as you grasp my face to pull me down to the moss.

You press a loving kiss to my forehead, a soft chuckle leaving us both as we lay in the bed of moss together. We watch as the twilight sky becomes dotted with small glittering specks, the stars coming down to watch as I tell you my own stories.

Your laugh rings out when I tell you little fables made up by the children, of you and what they imagine you doing. One said you fought a dragon by learning how to breathe fire, another said you were off rescuing faraway princesses and leading them into our forest to stay.

Maybe having an entourage of princesses isn't all that far off from the truth, you jest. Your family tends to be rather dramatic, they're more akin to drama queens, I reply, and your wonderful laugh graces my ears again.

You and I spend the night wandering the forest, the creatures of the night chittering excitedly as we leap over creeks. They adore me, you state matter of factly, and i cannot help but laugh at such a thing.

I am but a townsperson, after all. I may have learnt to respect and adore your forest, and its inhabitants, but I have not shed my skin and become as beautiful and wild as you.

My skills lie in farming, and you say that if I were to stay here my hands would go insane with desire to collect the monthly harvests in a jest.

And you'd be right.

But that's why they adore me, you say after climbing an old wild cherry tree to collect us a feast, they adore me because I am different and new. They enjoy my stories and the children's fables because they have heard all of the forest's tales.

I understand them now, truly, even though I am as plain as you could imagine, to someone who lives in such a beautiful, wild, adventurous place?

The mundane must seem like something out of their wildest fantasies.

[middleearthpixie]

Stolen Moments

Armitage Summer Splash # 12 ~ Thanks again to @lathalea and @fizzyxcustard for creating this challenge!

Trope: Oblivious to feelings 

Quote: “How dare you?”

RA Character: Thorin Oakenshield

Relationship: Thorin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some angst

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,936

Khuzdul Translations: 

Mimûna - Little one (f)

Kunbûnaul - Son of a bitch

’Adad - Father

Raklûna - precious, darling one (f)

Kurduwê - my heart

***

There were times when you would cheerfully throttle Thorin blue and this was absolutely one of them. You rose onto one elbow to just stare down at him. “Are you mad?”

“What?” His eyes went wide as he tucked one arm up beneath his head. “Why would you ask me such a thing?”

“Perhaps because I think you might have gone mad?” You pushed up from your elbow, sitting upright. What had been one of the most wonderful afternoons of your life was all of the sudden coming apart. Instead of lying there on the soft skin, your head tucked against Thorin’s chest, your fingers trailing lightly through the dark hair that covered it, and your leg resting over his, while you fought off the delicious drowsiness that always followed a romp with him, you were now dealing with a bellyful of uncomfortable knots. Even the air around you felt different now. Minutes earlier, lust and desire, swirled through it, took away some of the early autumn chill to replace it with the heat of unbridled passion. You treasured these times with him, when the rest of the world faded away and you lost yourselves in one another. 

But now, that air of romance faded into the trees around around you. You pulled your fingers thorough your hair to shove it out of your eyes, away from your face. “Why would you do that? Why can’t things just be as they are now? This is perfect.”

“Perfect?” He also sat up, then reached for his trousers, which lay in the soft grass where they’d fallen when you shoved them down his legs not quite half an hour earlier. “We sneak about, jumping at every sound, convinced at any moment, someone will catch us. That is hardly perfect, mimûna. I’d rather not have to worry about it. I’d rather not have to sneak about any longer, to pretend when I see you in the square that we don’t know each other like this. I’d far prefer being able to do something as simple as hold your blasted hand or steal a kiss and not care who might be lurking about.”

You would have loved the same, to be honest. Sneaking about was fun at first. You loved having the delicious little secret tucked away inside your heart, loved see him in town and being able to share a smile with him, while others wondered what it was you smiled about. 

But as the summer went on and gave away to autumn, and the air grew chilled with the change of season, that secret lost some of its lustre. Snuggling under a skin with him was cozy. Having to emerge from it into the nippy air was not. You’d become quite adept as dressing without moving said skin, but the fact was, you were growing tired of sneaking and hiding as well. You would far rather fall into a soft bed with him than roll around on the ground, where an ill placed stone or stick could interrupt an otherwise lovely moment. 

However, what Thorin suggested was nothing short of madness and could never come to pass. You understood that. Why didn't he?

Still, you felt a pang of disappointment as he stepped into his trousers and drew them up over his thick thighs. “We do not jump at every sound,” you told him, trying—and failing—to keep the sulkiness from your voice. 

“We do, and if you’re honest with yourself, you will admit it. And can you honestly tell me you like skulking about and hiding us from everyone?” 

“Well… no…” you hedged. “I don’t like it. But—”

“But nothing.” He shook his head without looking up while he fastened his trousers. Then he stretched one hand to snag your chemisette to hold out to you. “So, this is a solution. It’s the perfect solution and I fail to see why you don’t agree.”

“It would be the perfect solution,” you shot back, dragging the linen over your head, where from inside the bodice, you added, “if it wasn’t for the fact that I am not fit to wipe your boots, never mind marry you!”

He didn't reply, and when you emerged from the chemisette, it was to find him glowering at you. “What?” You tugged the wrinkled linen down and stood, then tried to smooth out at least some of the wrinkles. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

“Not fit?” His voice lowered to an irritated growl, so deep, it sounded as if it might actually have risen from the soles of his feet. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it is the truth.” You gestured to the skin he’d spread out over the ground earlier, when you’d met up at your special glade by the river, down past the bend, where few people ventured. It was secluded and romantic and the only place you didn’t truly worry about being caught alone with your prince. In the summer, the grass was lush and vibrant green, the trees’ leafy canopies provided welcome shade when the temperatures soared, but those canopies were now red and gold and yellow as they prepared to drop with the cold weather. 

When he just stared, you rolled your eyes at his stubborn determination to remain blind to the truth of your romance. “My father is but a tradesman and my mother is of Man who chose to leave both of us. I am not worthy of the prince’s attentions, never mind being his wife. You know it and you are mad if you think you can change that.”

Thorin’s eyes narrowed further. “Why do you spew such nonsense? You know I care not about your lineage and your father is a baker. There is nothing wrong with that. And of course I can change it. I can and I will and I alone have that power, remember.”

“You would never do that to your people, Thorin. You have too much respect for them and their opinions, and you know how they would feel about me becoming queen.” You shook your head as you slid into your own trousers and fastened them. This wasn't the first time you’d had this argument, but it was the first in which it came following his actually proposing to you. “This is all I can ever be to you, Thorin. And all we can ever have are stolen moments that no one else can ever know about. You cannot marry me. And even if you could, I would not say yes because it is a pipe dream at best. Should you ever ascend the throne, I cannot be queen.”

“What throne? There is no throne here.”

Your eyes stung as you drew your loose blue tunic over your head. Your hose, your boots, your sword, all lay in a row, where you’d shed them in your haste to be naked with him. You cherished the moments you had, each tryst a delicious secret you tucked away into your heart. You knew one day, those memories would all you would have of him. One day, he would marry, of course, but it would not be to you. No, he would take a full-blooded dwarrowdam as his wife and you would be able to do no more than watch from a distance as he settled into his new life, as he raised children with this now-nameless woman. It made your heart ache to think about, as you’d loved him since the first time he’d kissed you, so many months earlier. He was your first lover and would be your only lover, for no other could possibly compare to him. 

“Thorin, you know what I mean. Just as you know this cannot happen.”

“Why? And if you tell me you are unworthy, I swear to Mahal, I will toss you in that river.”

You glanced over your shoulder at the river question. It was too wide to cross at this bend, the current swift and merciless, the blackish waters sweeping tree limbs and other debris by in the blink of an eye. “Perhaps you should do that,” you said without thinking, not looking at him. “Then you wouldn’t feel duty-bound to marry me simply because we’ve made love.”

“Duty-bound?” Anger threaded those two words together. “Is that how you see this? Is that what you think? That I only wish to marry you because it is the honorable thing because of this?”

You met his now-furious gaze. “Thorin, we both know this can never go beyond this. It simply cannot.”

“It could, if you would not be so blasted stubborn!”

“I am facing the truth, which you also need do. A match between us would never be allowed and if anyone discovered what we’ve been doing, I would be shunned and you know this.”

“I know I love you. And I want you to be mine. I want everyone to know you are mine. To know that I am yours.”

“You don’t love me, you love the idea of me.”

“How dare you?” He stalked past you to gather up the skins, the now-empty bottle of wine you’d shared when you first arrived in grove. He stowed them in his rucksack, then fastened said rucksack to his pony’s saddle. “How dare you think to tell me what I feel and why I feel it? Think you when I said I love you, I was lying? That I didn't mean it? Do you think I would say such a thing and not mean it?”

“It was the glow of the moment talking.” Why couldn’t you just stop talking? Your tongue seemed far more determined than ever to destroy your relationship with Thorin far sooner than it had to be done. Your heart ached. Your eyes stung. And yet, short of stepping on said tongue, you couldn’t seem to hold back your words. “Go find one who is better suited for you, Thorin. One who is fit to be your queen. For we both know she is not me.”

He shook his head, muttering, “Kunbûnaul,” beneath his breath as he swung up onto his pony’s back. “If that is what you wish.”

You just stared up at him, your heart aching as you knew this was how this had to play out, even as it broke your heart to utter your next words. “It’s what must be done.”

“Fine.” He nudged the pony’s side and your heart shattered into a thousand pieces as he rode off and left you in the suddenly thick silence. Not even the rush of water permeated that silence. Your eyes stung, but you managed to hold back your tears when you turned to walk down to the water.

You’d loved Thorin for so long. At first, you hated him. Just wanted to show him up and prove you were every bit as skilled and capable a warrior as he was. You did that, of course, but you also found so much more than just the satisfaction of making him eat his words where you were concerned. You’d never loved anyone except your father and that was hardly the same thing.

And it wasn’t only the physical pleasure that you loved, although you did absolutely love all that went with making love with him. However, it went so much deeper than that. You could and did talk about everything with him, from the utterly serious to the absolutely absurd conversations that left you both in tears from laughing so hard. There was no one else in the whole of Middle Earth you wanted to share things with as you did with him. He was the first person you wanted to see each day and the last one you wished to speak with each night. Thorin knew you better than anyone else ever could. 

With him, you felt complete. You felt whole. He didn't try to change you, didn't try to make you feel as if you were wrong for not being like the other dwarrowdams in Ered Luin, for being hopeless where the more feminine arts were concerned—you had far more skill with a blade than a sewing needle any day of the week. He tried to convince you being only half-dwarf was perfectly acceptable to be with him. 

Except you knew it wasn’t. Not in the end, any way. And when he’d first brought up the subject of marriage, you laughed it off. Afterglow talking, since it came about after a very romantic tryst beneath a full moon and under a sky filled with glittering stars. But then he kept bringing it up, and each time, you tried to gently steer him the other way. How could he not see that you were unfit to be his bride? Why did he refuse to accept it? He was far more sensible than that, and not normally given to flights of fancy. 

But this time, as he sank against you, his body trembling, his lips gentle as they swept along the side of your neck, he whispered, “Marry me, mimûna… marry me so we might spend every night this way. So I can hold you as we drift off to sleep and when I wake up, your face is the first thing I see each morning.”

It was the first time he’d actually proposed to you. Your heart ached so badly as you shook your head. 

“You know I cannot do that.”

“You can. You need only say yes.”

If only it was as simple as saying yes. You would do so in a heartbeat if it was, but the world did not work that way. Not for you, anyway. 

You picked your way around the rocks, around fallen trees, through the reeds, to the sandy bank at the water’s edge, where you sank into the chilled earth and drew your knees in and wrapped your arms about them, watching the river rush by. It flowed by swiftly, a wide brownish-black ribbon that cut through the earth and disappeared around a bend not far from where you sat. More than once at the height of the summer heat, you and Thorin splashed in the river, melting into one another, bodies entwined, lips locked, as he tried to show you things he couldn't necessarily put into words. You wished so badly to believe that your love for one another would be enough for any of the obstacle you were sure to face, should you be foolish enough to accept his proposal. But you were a realist and knew the truth—it was nothing more than a pipe dream at best.

The sun sank low in the western sky and as dusk crept in, so did a hint of a chill. You’d lost track of the time and when you finally returned home, your father was nearly apoplectic with worry.

“Where have you been?”

“I beg your pardon, ’adad,” you said, shrugging out of your light coat to hang on the peg by the door, “I went for a walk and got myself a bit lost.”

He didn't look as if he believed you, but merely shrugged and ladled a bit of stew from the pot over the fire into a bowl and passed it to you. He filled one for himself, then you both sat at the small table, where you’d shared so many meals, just the two of you. A fire crackled low on the hearth in the sitting room as well. Winter was creeping in and it wouldn’t be long before every hearth would be ablaze to ward off the chill. 

It was only unfortunate that nothing could removed the chill of loss that seeped into your bones. 

“I had an interesting visitor earlier,” he said, dipping his spoon into the thick broth.

“Really?”

“Thorin Durin.”

You froze, and looked up to meet your father’s worried eyes. “What—whatever did he need you for?”

“He came to ask me something. About you.” He lowered his spoon into his bowl, letting it come to rest against the side of it with a soft clink. “He wished for me to give him my blessing to court you.”

“What?” The blood drained from your face, leaving you cold and numb. What did he think asking your father would accomplish? It would still change nothing where the rest of the clan was concerned. “When did he do this?”

“Not quite an hour ago.” His eyes narrowed. “Have you struck up a relationship with him, raklûna? Be honest with me.”

You paused, using the bowl of your spoon to push a bit of turnip deeper into the thick, peppery broth. There was no sense in trying to lie. Your father would know. He always did. 

Looking up, you swallowed hard and nodded. “I have, ‘adad, yes.”

“And do you wish to marry him?”

“I would in heartbeat. But—” 

“But what?”

“I cannot be his wife and we know this and he knows it and—”

You went to shove back from the table, only to have him grab your by the hand to hold you still. “Why? He told me he loves you and he sounded so very sincere that I do not doubt him. Do you love him back?”

“Does it matter? I am not full-dwarf and not worthy—”  

“Balderdash!” He shook his head. “You are every bit as worthy as any full-blood dwarf and I’ll not listen to you spew such garbage as to tell me otherwise! Have I not raised you to be proud of who you are? Of where you come from?”

“Well, yes, but— ”

“I told him he has my blessing, raklûna, for he does. If you love him, then you should be with him. And you are every bit as worthy as any other woman in Ered Luin. Even more so, for you’ve proven yourself time and again where he is concerned.”

“‘Adad, it is of no matter now.” Your appetite drained and you pushed your bowl away. “I’ve already sent him away. He doesn’t love me, but rather loves the idea of loving me.”

“Sent him away? You sent him to our front door, is where you sent him, you know.”

“Which he shouldn’t have done.”

“Why?” Your father shook his head, his expression graver than you’d ever seen. “Raklûna, do not be so foolish as to think you know his mind better than he himself knows it. To do so would be a colossal mistake. One you will regret making and very soon.”

“I know, but it changes nothing.” You pulled your hand from beneath his, sat back, wiped your mouth, then rose from your chair. “Excuse me, ‘adad, I have a bit of a headache.”

He didn't argue with you, but let you leave and once you were safely ensconced in your small bedchamber, you slid down along the closed door, buried your face in your hands, and gave into the tears that had plagued you since Thorin rode out of the glade. 

You lay there in the dark, unable to sleep, just staring up at the ceiling. You had no idea what time it was, but your father was still awake, moving about the sitting room, judging by the creak of the floorboards. He was right. It was a colossal mistake to assume you knew Thorin better than he knew himself.

And now you’d ruined everything. 

For a few short months, you’d been so happy with him. You’d allowed yourself to believe there could be a future with him. And when the time came when you were faced with that future becoming reality, what did you do?

You ruined it.

“Blasted fool,” you muttered, swiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “You absolute idiot. You had all you wanted and threw it away. And for what?”

The knock at the front door made you jump at first. But then your heart leaped into your throat and your pulse pounded through your head when you heard Thorin’s deep voice. “I hope I am not disturbing you.”

You could almost see your father shaking his head. “Not at all, son. She is in her room.”

Footsteps drew near and you held your breath until black dots danced before your eyes, your heart racing so madly, you wondered which would make you faint first.

He didn't knock, but just opened the door, filling the doorway like an avenging angel of sorts. Rain spattered his dark green traveling cloak, covering it with dark splotches. He said nothing at first, but glowered at you as he’d done in the glade.

“Will you hear me out?” he finally growled, coming fully into the room to close the door behind him.

You nodded. “I will.”

“Good. I love you. And I care not what anyone might say or think about that. And I am not so foolish to think that it will be a smooth journey, should you accept my proposal. But, I am foolish enough to believe that together, we will find a way to get through it, that we can and will make it work and in time, it won’t matter. 

“But know this, there is no one else I wish to be with. There will never be anyone I will wish to be with, either. If I cannot have you, I will not have another.”

“Thorin, are you certain this is what you want?”

“How can you ask me that?”

“I have to know.”

He crossed to you, catching your hands to draw you up and into his arms. “I am yours, as I have been since the first time we were together. I love you, you know. I love you and I care not how hard I might have to fight for you. You are worth that. We are worth that. I wish I could make you see that’s truly how I feel.”

“I do see it,” you told him softly, easing your arms about his neck. “And I am so sorry for what I said, for my foolishness. I do love you back, you know. So very much.”

“So, will you have me? Just as I said the first time we were together.”

You smiled and drew him down to meet your lips. His arms tightened about your waist, his hands sliding down over your backside. He backed you toward your narrow bed, gently pushing you down onto it and as he covered you, you smiled up at him and whispered, “My father is just in the next room.”

Thorin smiled, his eyes dancing with mischief as he said “So be very quiet, mimûna.”

“Thorin!”

“What?” He bent to kiss you, his lips teasing and gentle. When he drew back, his eyes glittered in the low light of the candle flickering on the small desk by the windows. “Will you marry me or do I have to compromise you right here and now.”

“I’m fairly certain you’ve already done that.”

“I’ll do it loudly enough now to leave no doubt in your father’s mind what I’m doing to his daughter.”

Your cheeks grew warm. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Do you wish to find out? Or will you simply stop being so blasted stubborn and say yes?”

You sighed as you smiled up at him. “Ask me again, kurduwê,” you told him, tracing a finger along the edge of his beard. “Ask me to marry you.”

He brushed your lips with his, murmuring, “Will you marry me?”

You slid your arms about his middle and pulled him flush against you. “Yes."

***

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