#like i think ill need a doctorate to actually be able to get a halfway decent job in my major

[toastsnaffler]

I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

[inthismoment]

,,

[absolutepokemontrash]

Bothers with an ill mc, please xxx

Okie dokie! Let’s go!

MC is Sick and Cannot Cuddle :(

Lucifer

When MC is late to breakfast and Lucifer stomps up to their room to grab them, and he sees that they haven’t even been able to make it out of bed, he’s ashamed to say he tried to drag them to school. He didn’t think they were sick! He just thought they were being lazy!

When MC nearly sneezes their soul out, that’s when he notices that they’re actually sick. But that realization came when the two of them were halfway out the door.

“Oh… my apologies, MC. Allow me to make you some soup.” “*sick groans*”

Lucifer feels really bad, so he tucks MC back into bed, and tries to coax them into taking some medicine. If MC decides to be difficult, Lucifer has a secret weapon…

*ahem*… “here comes the airplane MC~ whoosh, whoosh,”

Once the airplane of medicine has been forced down MC’s gullet, Lucifer starts barking orders to his brothers to be as quiet as possible so MC can properly rest! They need their strength!

Lucifer is sure to give MC frequent check-ups throughout the day. He just quietly opens the door and makes sure MC’s still… alive… then closes the door up.

Mammon

The human’s sick? Hah! The great Mammon can’t relate! His immune system is top of the line, and he never ever gets sick!

…so since the Great Mammon never ever gets sick, he puts himself in charge of makin’ sure MC’s illness passes with nary a worry- what do you mean he doesn’t get a day off of school?! Damn you, Lucifer!

All throughout the school day, Mammon can’t help but worry about his poor… stupid human…

What an idiot… gettin’ all sick an’ gross and possibly dyin’…

Oh no… MC dyin’ of the plague… Mammon panics, and by the time school ends, the Avatar of Greed books it back home and rushes to MC’s bedside.

“Oh MC… my sweet MC… I can’t believe you’re dyin’ on me… I didn’t even get to tell ya that I actually did listen to ya and didn’t invest in crypto… 🥺” “Mammon. I’m still alive. I just have a fever.” “Oh…uh… I didn’t invest in crypto-” “I’m happy for you, buddy.”

Mammon sits by MC’s bedside and tries to keep them entertained while they’re chained to their bed due to their sickness 🥺

Mammon gives MC a kiss, MC sneezes into his mouth. The Great Mammon becomes sick.

Leviathan

Levi is up in his room when he suddenly hears a sneeze that shakes the walls of the house. At first he thinks it’s Lucifer, then he realizes… no… it’s his Henry!

Levi sprints over to MC’s room, then doubles back to get his favourite face mask (yes, it is an ahegao face mask) before bursting through the door to nurse his poor MC back to health.

“This is just like this one episode of TSL where Henry gets seasick! Fret not, MC, your Lord of Shadows will take care of you.” “*assorted groans of pain*”

Noticing that MC isn’t exactly up to role playing, Levi finds some soothing anime music and starts playing it. Ah… relaxation…

MC tiredly thanks Levi, then sneezes all over him.

Levi also gets sick

Satan

Satan’s human is sick, you say? HAH! He’s read about any and all ailments that could ever effect a human, he’s lived through plagues and pandemics galore, he knows what’s up. He can diagnose MC no problem!

After looking MC over and asking them some basic questions, Satan comes to an awful realization… MC has the bubonic plague… and also Pneumonia… and tuberculosis… it’s terminal. He needs to find a way to break this to MC…

“How do I do this tactfully? Hm… MC, I’m sorry, but you’ve got a few days to live at most. Please leave Lucifer out of your will. Wait no that’s not right-”

Before this walking WebMD Demon tells MC they need to get their house in order, Lucifer intercepts him and tells him that MC just has a shitty cold and they aren’t going to die. Satan was going to argue, but then he realized that he’d be arguing that MC was going to die…

Anyway, Satan’s a master at home remedies. He makes tea, and hot water bottles for any sinus pain, all in all, he’s a good fake-doctor ^.^

He’ll also read to MC if he’s asked. (They should totally ask, he’s got god-tier storytelling skills)

Asmodeus

Asmo 👏 Asmo 👏 Asmo 👏 iiiiiiiiiiiiis… terrified.

He loves MC, he really does… it’s just… sickness is nasty… constant groaning, snivelling, sneezing, coughing, GROSS!

Though, Asmo does make some soup when he gets home from RAD, he carefully brings it to MC… dressed in a fashionable hazmat suit.

“MC dear~ I’m here with some sou- WAIT! DON’T GET OUT OF BED. STAY TEN FEET AWAY. Okay sweetie, I’m just going to slide you the bowl ❤️ tell me if you need anything.”

Asmo’s the type to sit outside MC’s door and gab about his day. He’s great for when MC feels bored after a long day of trying to sleep off a shitty fever.

When MC is all better, Asmo would love to snuggle with them, it’s just… not when they’re all sneezy and snotty…

Beelzebub

Ooooooo, what’s that smell? Yummy soup-

As Beel practically floats to the kitchen, he’s intercepted by Asmo and Lucifer, who begin berating him for trying to steal from poor sick MC.

Now Beel feels bad :( I hope Asmo and Luci are happy…

Beel has taken care of Belphie all the time when he’s been sick, because I refuse to believe that the little toothpick of a demon has a strong immune system. Therefore, Beel is an excellent candidate for MC’s personal “I’m sick and cannot do anything” nurse.

“Just tell me what to do, MC. I’ll do it!” “Beel… *cough* flex a little…” “Okay :)”

Through the power of Beel’s muscles, MC is cured!

Beel rushes around, getting everything MC needs, like a giant delivery man!

Belphegor

Belphie is also sick. He walked into MC’s room at two in the morning, and collapsed on top of them. The two of them were basically inhaling each other’s gross breath, so now they’re both sick.

The Avatar of Sloth has a bit of a problem though, he can’t differentiate illness related shittiness and normal shittiness. Belphie tries to get up and walk towards the door in the morning, but he ends up falling flat on his face and passing out.

While Belphie is sick, he plays it up so he and MC can get some extra pampering from the other brothers.

“*cough*… oh… it hurts… I can only imagine how bad it is for you… MC…” “*achoo!* Oh Belphie… the only thing that can ease the pain are some more pillows… and a giant mug of tea…”

All the brothers fall for it, hook line and sinker. They’re a bunch of no braincell simps.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Civil Arrangements

Summary: You've been married off to the Getou Clans heir. Life as the lady of the house is relaxing enough, your husband was kind to you, however you can't help but feel lonely as he keeps his distance most of the time, doing his duties with a kind smile but nothing more.

Warnings: Mild language, mentions of injury and blood. Some allusions to steamy stuff lol. Arranged Marriage.

****************************************

"My lady please be careful!!" Your maid frantically called from her spot beside the river.

"I'll be fine, don't worry Yuri!" You assure the frantic maid who watched in distress as you swam towards where a little kitten was struggling on a lone branch in the chilling waters.

You were on a walk around the property like you usually do when a distressed meow caught your attention.

Before your maid could even suggest to call for a guard to help you were already diving into the cold river to save the poor shivering creature, claiming that there was no time to call for help as the poor dear might freeze or drown before anything could be done.

Despite it being almost winter, you didn't hesitate, act first think later has always been your philosophy.

Finally you reached the branch and with some effort managed to tuck the kitty into your kimono, making sure its head stayed above the water line.

Your maid urged you to hurry, at least 30 years being taken off her life in worry since shed met you.

She missed the way you winced about halfway back.

"My lady are you alright?! Please don't do anything so dangerous again!!" She cried as you finally made it back onto land.

"Yuri would you relax, I'm alright, besides this little one would've drowned if I didnt help" you peeked at the tiny ball of furr tucked beside your chest.

"But my lady you're shivering!" She fussed.

"Its alright, I'll go warm this one up then take a nice warm ba-" you flinched as a sharp pain emitted up your ankle.

"!! My lady you're bleeding!"

"Huh? Oh your right, must've cut it on a rock" you said almost casually meanwhile Yuri looked like she was ready to faint.

"Don't move my lady, I'll go call for help-"

"You will do no such thing, really it looks worse than it is, ill be fine, see look" you stood up and took a few steps to convince her. Although you had to admit, it was quite painful.

Finally you managed to convince Yuri, and she helped you back to the main estate area where you and your husbands chambers were. Luckily he had some business to attend to in town so he wouldn't even know about your little rescue attempt.

While your husband was kind and civil he was strict and took his roles and duties seriously. You doubted he would take you risking your safety and getting hurt in stride. It was a husbands duty to take care of his wife after all. Traditions and all that...

So far you had managed to sneak around all the other servants and slid into your chambers undetected.

You ordered Yuri to warm some blankets and grab some medical supplies. She tried to protest, saying you needed a doctor but you refused and she had no choice but to give in.

Once she left, you shed the outer later of your soaked kimono and gently moved the kitten onto a soft cushion. You had some cloth and dried the little thing off.

She seemed to like it and soon was fast asleep. Smiling you decided it was now time to help yourself.

Yuri sooned returned and you decided to bathe since you were basically frozen, trying to ignore it till now in order to focus on the kitten.

She ran you a bath in the room and then you dismissed her not being able to handle her anxiety much longer. Although you couldn't blame her, you were always finding trouble.

You wrapped some bandage quickly, decided to warm up first then actually treat the wound, but also not wanting the blood to taint the clean water.

You sighed as you sank into the steaming water. The soothing scent of jasmine clouding your senses. You were downplaying your state to Yuri, but in actuality you felt quite horrible. Your muscles were fatigued and you still felt quite cold.

You dipped your head under the water a couple times before leaning over the edge slightly to eye the cat through the divider. You relaxed seeing her fast asleep still.

You rested your head on the edge of the tub feeling a sudden heaviness take over.

You couldn't help it when your eyelids also begin to droop. Not quite closed but for some reason you were not able lift them open more. Maybe you shouldn't have sent Yuri away....

Luckily not long after you heard the door slide open. Yuri likely worried came to check on you despite your orders.

You tried to say something but only a whisper came out. What you didn't expect was to hear the deep masculine voice of your husband and not the sweet mousey tone of your maid.

"Y/n?" He inquired stepping into the room and eyeing the silhouette behind the divider.

When you didn't answer he frowned and stepped closer. "Y/n are you alright?"

No answer. Fearing something had happened he walked closer and stepped around the divider.

His eyes widened as he met your slumped over form.

"Y/n?!" He knelt down, lifting your head up gently. Your eyes were lidded like you were in a daze.

Quickly he reached to lift you up and wrapped you in a large towel cloth.

Your head lolling a bit in his arms. He walked over to the bed and carefully set you down before opening the window slightly to let in fresh cool air.

It only took a few minutes before you felt your head begin to clear up again.

"Y/n?" He tried again.

"I'm alright..." you managed to get out.

"Are you sure? Perhaps I should call a doctor..." he debated with concern.

"N-no that's not necessary..." he didn't seem convinced but at least you seemed to be a little better now.

"Here drink this" he supported your body and lifted the cup to your lips. The crisp cool water helping to remove the remaining fuzzies of your mind.

You were able to sit properly now. And in turn realized you were only in a towel and felt yourself heat up again.

You were husband and wife, however certain expected ahem activites had not been....activitied since your wedding night(Clan customs required it so, with a witness outside the door and whatnot...Suguru had been perfectly gentle and assured you he would stop if you wanted him too, but you didn't want to cause issues with the clan, especially so soon so you assured him it was alright. You didn't exactly have a bad time...but since then he had yet to touch you. Perhaps he was respecting your space and letting your adjust...or perhaps he just wasn't interested. You told yourself it wasn't the latter...

So you can understand why suddenly being exposed like this after a long time was a bit unnerving.

"Are you certain you don't need a doctor?" He pressed.

You nodded, "No, I'm really alright, the heat just got to me I suppose, thank you by the way" you felt heat rise again.

"Theres no need to thank me, as long as your alright that's all-is that a cat...?"

Oh how could you forget!

"Oh y-yes! I found the poor little thing out in the cold and brought her here to warm her up, I hope you don't mind...". You glossed over the where exactly.

He raised a brow but you could tell he wasn't upset. "I suppose it's alright...do you intend to keep it?"

"I was thinking about it...if that's alright.." you looked at him sheepishly.

He only smiled, "If it's what you desire, I have no qualms" he reached over to pet the little ball of fluff that was beginning to stir. It stretched in the cutest way before licking his outstretched fingers.

You couldn't help but giggle at the sweet display.

"What a sweet creature, have you thought of a name?"

"Hmm" you thought for a moment.

"I know! what about beans!"

"Wh-what?" Suguru let out a humorous scoff.

"Yeah because when she sleeps she curls up like a little bean...no good? Ok what about...."

He watched you in amusement as you pondered more names.

"What about General Utahime! The first woman general to lead men into battle!"

"I'm not sure that one is suited either..." he held back a laugh. More so because you were dead serious about the name.

"What really? I thought that one was perfect...hmm"

He couldn't wait to hear what other ridiculous name you came up with next.

"Ok this one has to be her name, it fits perfectly!"

"Please do go on" he gestured in amusement.

"We'll call her....Koi Fish!! Fish for short tho"

"How on earth did you come up with that?"

"Well you see, it makes sense, not only is she the color of the koi fish we have in the garden, but she was in water when I found her, like a fish! See its perfect"

"She was in the water?"

Oh

Oh no

What did you just say?!

"Oh uh I mean she was near the water, and you know how fish are sometimes found near water...." you trailed off hearing the stupidity in your own voice.

You had many skills however lying was definitely not one of them.

He picked up on it immediately and gave you a look.

"....well to tell you the truth, fish was about to drown and I um, saved her.."

He frowned at this, "Saved her? How?"

"I um...picked her out of the river" not a lie, however not exactly the whole truth.

Perhaps he would've assumed she was closer to land and that you managed to get her without getting in the water had it not been for the expression on your face that was full of the same expression his students give when they have something to hide.

"I have the feeling theres more to the story.."

Crap

"Well I may have had to uh, go into the water a bit.." at this expression changed to one of shock.

"You went in the river??"

You nodded a little afraid now.

"Y/n those waters are not only freezing at this time of year, but the currents have also been strong, please tell me you were only feet deep"

You wanted to attempt a lie again but it was no use. Your face said it all.

"I...she would've drowned Suguru..." you pouted at the thought.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous the river is this time of year?!" Damn it he was upset now. Although you had to hand it to him, he still managed to control himself and stay composed even when upset. But still he was stern...

You looked down at your lap, "I-I know but..." you didn't really know what to say. You never did well with people being angry with you.

"Many have fallen in been swept away before anything could be done, what were you thinking??"

"I...I just saw the kitten and went, I'm sorry I didn't think..." you shuffled in place uncomfortably. Fish seemed to sense your discomfort because she nuzzled into your lap affectionately.

You heard a sigh before feeling a soft hand atop your head.

Hesitantly you lifted your eyes and met Sugurus tired ones.

"You can't be so reckless with your wellbeing y/n." You nodded meekly,

"I'm sorry..." you heard a loud sigh before the hand on your head ruffled your hair.

"You certainly have a way of getting into trouble wife" heat rose to your cheeks, feelings more like a scolded child then the wife of the clan head.

"I don't mean to get into these situations..." you heard him chuckle before the hand on your head moved to your chin, lifting up your head in the process.

"Hm, perhaps I should have a guard with you all times. Then I would not have to worry as I do."

You couldn't hide the instant disgust at the thought of being followed all day, you already had Yuri to annoy you, you definitely didn't need anyone else.

"Heh I'm only joking, there's no need to make such a face" you blushed again, hoping the teasing would end.

"Please don't make fun of me..." you mumbled as he pulled his hand away but remained close.

"Y/n" his voice was more serious now.

You gazed into his deep eyes, sensing his shift in demeanor.

"I want you to promise me that you'll never do something as dangerous as that again."

You felt ashamed all over again, "I promise Suguru..." he eyed you for a moment before nodding in satisfaction. His usual smile back in a flash.

"Well that's settled now" you failed to meet his smile though. Those horrid thoughts of being a bad wife started to circle around your mind again.

"Y/n?" He frowned noticing your expression. "Come now, there's no need to be upset, I'm not angry, I just worry" he pulled your hand from your lap and you held your breath when he placed a gentle kiss on your fingers.

Your husband was definitely a charmer. All the servants made sure you knew how lucky you were to be married to such a kind and handsome gentleman.

Fortunately Fish chose that exact moment to jump on his chest so you had a moment to hide your heated face.

Geez y/n, you've literally slept with the man, why was your heart beating because of a simple kiss?!

"Oh don't tell me your jealous Fish?" Suguru mused as he pulled the clawing kitten off his body.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight. Fish squirming in his hand was quite the spectacle.

It was when Fish opened her mouth wide and clamped down on the flesh of his hand that you gasped and reached for the little monster.

"Fish you mustn't do that!" You held the kitty up to your face in a scolding way.

She seemed to understand as within an instant he demeanor changed and she was happily purring against you.

"Hm she certainly is an amusing one" you nodded in agreement.

You both spent the next few minutes watching her cuddle and ultimately fall asleep beside you.

"I know you said you were fine, but now that I know you were out in the cold I wonder if I should call the doctor just to be sure. You did faint in the bath after all. Are you sure you are feeling alright?"

You were about to protest once more but then a sharp ache reminded you of your injury.

"Well actually..." You did not really want to tell him but after what just happened you did not want to lie again.

You pulled the blanket away revealing your ankle that Suguru must have missed when he pulled you from the tub. The bandage was still wet and now stinging uncomfortably.

You pulled your foot closer to you wincing slightly at the pain.

"You're injured?" He said more to himself gently grabbing your foot and placing it in his lap. You protested at getting his clothing wet but he didn't care.

Gingerly he began to peel away the bandages apologizing when you whined a bit.

He frowned deeply when he pulled the last wrap revealing the jagged cut that was bright red with blood.

"Perhaps I will have a guard accompany you from now on.." He said a bit to seriously for your liking.

"It's really not that bad, it looks alot worse than it is- WAH ah! Suguru?!"

Suddenly you found yourself swooped up into the air, his hands on your back and under your legs. "Suguru what are you doing?!" You had no choice but to hang onto him so you wouldn't fall.

"I'm taking you to the doctor of course" He said already halfway out the door with you.

"B-But can't he come here?!" You blushed furoiusly as the maids took notice and began to giggle.

Suguru only smirked down at you, "He could, but this is your punishment for being such a troublesome wife and making me worry"

ooh where do you think he's taking her?!

hehe they're so cute, I wish my husband was that sweet with me

Awe I can't wait until they have a few little ones running around!

You could have died in embarrassment and chose to hide in the fabric of his Kimono.

"You know that reminds me..." he began in that nonchalant tone of his.

You peeked one eye out curious but also suspicious.

"It has been awhile since we spent some time together hasn't it?" You knew by his tone he didn't just mean sharing a meal or some conversation.

You nodded hiding back into his chest, any more embarrassment and you would jump into the river again.

"Heh, oh my little wife if you're embarrassed now I can't wait until later.."

************************************

Ah my first ever Suguru fic what do you guys think? Please lemme know in the comments I'd really appreciate it!:)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spite in Misery - ao3

(rather silly AU of Delight in Misery, only even more petty and passive aggressive, and also slightly more JC/LWJ)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“Sanctuary,” Lan Wangji said, prim and proper as he always was, the perfect untouchable iceberg as always, except maybe for the small child he was holding. “For me and my son.”

“Wait, you fuck?”

Wait, that wasn’t the right question.

“Why do you need sanctuary here?” Jiang Cheng asked, utterly bemused. “There isn’t a single place in the cultivation world you wouldn’t be welcomed –”

Except here.

“– and anyway, your brother, his sworn brothers, and your sect would demolish anyone who even thought about hurting you. Who in the world could you need sanctuary from?”

“My brother,” Lan Wangji said. “His sworn brothers, and my sect.”

Jiang Cheng stared at him.

Lan Wangji stared right back at him.

And then he collapsed.

“No,” Jiang Cheng said to the unconscious or possibly dead body currently lying across the threshold of the Lotus Pier and the small feverish-looking child in barely better state splayed out beside it. “I refuse to take responsibility for this!”

-

“You will not say anything about the room I have chosen to house you in,” Jiang Cheng said. “You will not complain about the food, the amenities, or make any requests whatsoever. Do you hear me?”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng ought to have expected as much.

“And don’t think this means I’m going to like you or anything,” Jiang Cheng added self-righteously.

“I despise you with every drop of blood in my body,” Lan Wangji said.

“…so noted,” Jiang Cheng said.

After a moment, he added, “I don’t care!” and stormed out.

After yet another moment, he came right back into the room where he’d put Lan Wangji – it was just a convenient room, not specifically Wei Wuxian’s room, and if putting Lan Wangji in there meant he could delay having to clean out all the personal possessions left in there and actually repurpose it, that was his business and no one else’s – and said, “Why do you hate me, exactly?”

“Do you care?” Lan Wangji asked. He was examining the small cot Jiang Cheng had set up to put the still-unconscious and therefore nameless child on.

“Obviously,” Jiang Cheng said. “Or I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng waited a few moments, moments that grew longer and longer, and finally he realized – “You’re not planning on telling me?”

“I despise you,” Lan Wangji reminded him.

“Oh, you – you…!” Jiang Cheng ground his teeth together. “I’m the one giving you sanctuary, remember?”

“I came to you because you were the only one powerful enough to accomplish the task and spiteful enough to do it. I did not come here to owe you any favors.”

“Well, you’re going to owe me one anyway,” Jiang Cheng said, scowling at him. “You – you – ugh. Forget it!”

He stormed back out.

And then he realized he hadn’t actually brought the medicine that he’d intended to bring to Lan Wangji, so he had to go in and drop it off, but then he was finally able to storm away properly.

-

“I was under the belief we had agreed it would be best for us to see each other as little as possible,” Lan Wangji said, his voice even icier than usual – which was saying something.

“That’s right,” Jiang Cheng agreed, eying him warily. “I’m only here personally to drop off your medicine because it means fewer people know that you’re here.”

He’d thought that he would need to bring in a doctor for Lan Wangji’s injuries, but it turned out to be whip marks from a discipline whip and Jiang Cheng – well. Jiang Cheng knew everything there was to know about injuries like that.

Sure, he’d had to take A-Yuan to a doctor, he didn’t know shit about pediatric illnesses, but that was fine, it didn’t give the whole game away. Jiang Cheng was able to pass him off as some random sad orphan he’d taken pity on, which wasn’t far from what he suspected to be the truth.

“In that case,” and Lan Wangji’s voice was even colder, which how, “why do you live next door?”

“This was the only room available,” Jiang Cheng lied.

Lan Wangji glared death at him.

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m giving you sanctuary, aren’t I?” Jiang Cheng scowled. “Anyway, I told you that you weren’t allowed to complain about the room.”

Lan Wangji did not appear impressed.

“How’d you know I was next door, anyway?”

“You have nightmares.”

…right.

“I’ll invest in better soundproofing, then,” Jiang Cheng said haughtily. He wasn’t ashamed of having nightmares. After the life he’d lived, it was only to be expected.

“I don’t want to be around you at all,” Lan Wangji clarified.

“Too bad.”

“I don’t want you spending time with A-Yuan.”

Oh, so that was the real issue here. Well, in that case, the answer was still – “Too bad.”

“He’s my son.”

“He’s in my house,” Jiang Cheng said. “In my sect, in my lands, in my part of the cultivation world, which is the only reason you came here rather than literally anywhere else, remember? Because I’m a territorial bastard with a paranoid streak that won’t let anyone come look for you in here without hovering over their backs like a shadow, making it impossible for them to actually find you – sound familiar?”

Lan Wangji’s face twitched. “I did not say that.”

“You thought it,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji’s silence proved he was right. “Anyway, I don’t care if you don’t like me spending time with A-Yuan. He’s one of the only people who can make Jin Ling laugh.”

“He wants to be his big brother,” Lan Wangji said. He sounded like he had swallowed glass.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said, not understanding. “Good for him?”

Brothers didn’t have to be biological, he thought, and that old pain tore through his heart the way it always did when he thought about Wei Wuxian.

“Worthless,” Lan Wangji said, glaring at him, and Jiang Cheng almost agreed with that assessment of himself – thoughts of Wei Wuxian usually had that effect – except of course it was Lan Wangji saying it, so naturally he had to disagree.

It was oddly reaffirming, actually. He might beat himself up as being worthless, useless and pathetic, a broken shell of a man who couldn’t keep a single member of his family alive, who had nothing and lived for nothing and existed purely for the sake of his sect and Jin Ling –

But the second Lan Wangji said that he was worthless, Lan Wangji who was wrong about everything, Jiang Cheng was immediately convinced that he was the best thing that had ever been invented.

Wait, was this how Wei Wuxian used to feel all the time?

No wonder he was always tormenting Lan Wangji.

-

“I brought you some books on physical rehabilitation,” Jiang Cheng announced. “No, don’t thank me - the sooner you’re better, the sooner you can leave.”

“It will not be too soon,” Lan Wangji said.

Personally, Jiang Cheng didn’t think Lan Wangji was going to be leaving for at least another year, maybe a few more years, not with that many strikes of the discipline whip to heal and his disordered qi to straighten out, but it was nice for both of them to see a destination at the end of the road in which they didn’t have to see each other all the time. Either way, he agreed, so he wasn’t going to ruin the rare moment of complete harmony by being persnickety.

“You should knock before entering,” Lan Wangji added, prissy as always.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He probably should have, yes, but he always had the ‘it’s my house’ thing to fall back on. This was the Lotus Pier where the rules of the Lan sect didn’t apply, and as far as he was concerned, that was reason enough to ignore etiquette. Anyway, Lan Wangji was here alone and healing just the way he’d been doing the past few months, what exactly was he going to be doing that Jiang Cheng might walk in on –

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said when Lan Wangji attempted, with dignity, to extract his hands from inside his clothing, which was unfortunately not something he could do subtly. “Were you trying to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji looked mutinous.

“…were you failing to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji now looked like he wanted to rip Jiang Cheng limb from limb, even though it ought to have been clear enough that Jiang Cheng would only think to ask the question because he’d had a similar issue for a while there. The time after his family had died had been brutal, and he couldn’t even use getting off as a shortcut to fall asleep because every time he tried he couldn’t keep it up; it’d been awful. He’d been terrified that he’d broken his own dick somehow, which led to worries that he wouldn’t be able to have kids in the future and thereby fail his parents and ancestors in a brand new and yet unexplored way, which led to even more panic and even less sleeping. It hadn’t been until someone (he suspected Nie Mingjue, bizarrely enough) shoved a medical treatise about trauma reactions under his door that he’d realized it was a fairly normal aftereffect and managed to calm down a little.

Nie Mingjue had also given him so much work to do that Jiang Cheng hadn’t had time to even think about that sort of thing until nearly half a year later, at which point everything was working again and he’d completely forgotten it was even an issue until halfway into the afterglow.

Good man, that Nie Mingjue.

“If it’s a symptom, you need to tell me these things,” Jiang Cheng said, taking far too much wretched enjoyment out of the whole thing. He’d give Lan Wangji the trauma book, of course – he still had it – but he had to get his wins in where he could against the perfect iceberg, cheap shots or no. “As your current attending doctor, I’m responsible for your care –”

“It is unwanted but necessary. It is simply something that I must endure,” Lan Wangji said grimly, and Jiang Cheng raised his eyebrows.

The book had covered that, too, although that hadn’t been his problem, personally.

“Oh, I see,” he said. “You keep getting hard, is that it? And then retraumatizing yourself when you try to jerk off, which means you can’t satisfy the need, which means you can’t solve the getting hard all the time problem, which in turn affects your cultivation and so your healing…yeah, I see the issue. You should probably get someone else to do it for you if you get really desperate.”

“I see no one but you,” Lan Wangji said through gritted teeth.

A problem, Jiang Cheng admitted.

Still mostly Lan Wangji’s problem, though.

“Well,” he said with the smarmiest smirk he could manage, “as your attending doctor –”

Lan Wanjgji threw a book at his head.

-

“What are you planning on doing once you’re better?” Jiang Cheng wondered.

“Why are you talking to me?” Lan Wangji replied.

“Oh come on,” Jiang Cheng said. “How can you say such a thing after taking advantage of me? I let you into my home –”

“You will not be able to rely upon that fact forever.”

“I will be able to rely on that fact for eternity,” Jiang Cheng disagreed. “I let you into my home, I hid you away from the world – which isn’t actually as easy as I make it look, just so you know! Your brother is practically scouring the earth –”

Lan Wangji looked like he’d bitten into something extremely sour.

“I’m sorry, did you think he was not going to do that? And recruit his sworn brothers to help him?” Jiang Cheng asked. “I thought the whole point of this was – well –”

“It was.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I do not enjoy hearing of it.”

“Listen, if you’re going to decide to torture someone by turning your back on them and disappearing without a word, you should at least have the guts to own it.”

“You speak from experience, I take it.”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Did you somehow forget everything that happened back then with Wei Wuxian?”

“…you were the one who turned your back on Wei Ying.”

Jiang Cheng laughed disbelievingly. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he jeered. “Because I was so well-known for my backbone when it came to Wei Wuxian. I definitely was the one to come up with the idea to throw him out of my sect and cut ties, yeah, definitely, that’s completely what happened. I mean, obviously, I always got my way when dealing with him, every time, that’s how it always was between us. He had nothing to do with it.”

Lan Wangji was glaring at him. “Not then,” he said, each word cutting like a sword. “The Nightless City.”

“You mean the time he arrogantly and completely without warning started a fight that got my sister killed and then murdered three thousand people, including some of the very few family members and friends I had left?”

Lan Wangji was silent.

“You do mean that time,” Jiang Cheng said, marveling. “Are you insane? Even if I wanted to, if I took his side then, I’d have had no claim later on to grab him as a prisoner before anyone else did. The Jin would have executed him for sure! And slowly!”

“The Burial Mounds –”

“He imploded in front of my face!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “I had to see – when he – he died! He was – he did – you don’t even know – no, you know what, I’m not talking about this. Not with you of all people; you hated him.”

Lan Wangji’s hands were fists. “I did not.”

“No? You did a good job of acting like you did,” Jiang Cheng sneered. “Always talking about how you wanted to drag him back to Gusu just because it would make you feel better –”

“Better than leaving him.”

“I did what he wanted! And yes, fine, maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I should’ve ignored what he wanted, maybe I should’ve dragged him back to the Lotus Pier and locked him in a little room for the rest of his life the way everyone knows your dad did to your mom – ”

Lan Wangji flinched.

In fairness, Jiang Cheng was exaggerating about everyone knowing. He only knew about it because he’d heard his mother spit it out at his father during one of their nastier fights, and he was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to have known about it, either.

“– but stupid me, I thought he’d be happier being free and alone than stuck with someone he clearly didn’t want to be around him anymore! But what do I know? Maybe I should ask you, you selfish bastard. You’re the one in his position this time, you’re the one who’s doing the turning away – I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to be the one that’s not wanted.”

Lan Wangji stared down at his hands as Jiang Cheng jumped up to his feet, Zidian crackling to life in his hand despite himself, persisting even though he tried to suppress it.

“I’m going to go hunt down some demonic cultivators,” he said, trying in vain to keep his temper even a little bit and knowing it was a lost cause. “And then I’m going to bring them back here and make them scream somewhere you can hear it. You can chew on that with some glass for all I care!”

-

“You handled that last one well,” Lan Wangji said. It sounded like someone was pulling teeth from his head.

“You’re sick,” Jiang Cheng announced. “I will go get some fever medicine at once. Are you experiencing any other symptoms in addition to hallucinations? Or should I be checking for signs of possession instead?”

Lan Wangji was back to glaring at him.

“I don’t know what drove that sudden spurt of niceness and I don’t care to know,” Jiang Cheng informed him. “I don’t need your approval.”

Lan Wangji ignored him. That was more customary.

Also unfortunate, because Jiang Cheng managed to get less than half a shichen of work done before coming back into Lan Wangji’s room (not Wei Wuxian’s room) and saying, “Okay, what exactly did I do?”

Lan Wangji looked at him sidelong.

“Seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What did I do that was so impressive that even you approved of it?”

“The demonic cultivator. The last one.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, thinking about it. “The – stupid one, you mean?”

Lan Wangji stared at him, and then looked at the ceiling, long-suffering. “The one from Yunping.”

“The stupid one,” Jiang Cheng confirmed, and then he was ranting again because he couldn’t seem to stop ranting about it. “I can’t believe the idiot got into demonic cultivation as a way to make money! That’s just – it’s just – if I ever figure out who paid him, I’m going to rearrange their guts with my sword. Lousy rotten opportunistic…!” He coughed, realizing he’d gotten started again when he’d promised Jiang Meimei that he’d stop. It apparently got old after the sixth repetition. “Anyway, what’s so notable about that?”

“You accepted him as an outer disciple of your own sect.”

“Well, yeah. What else was I going to do with him? He’s clearly got some talent for cultivation if he figured out demonic cultivation without dying. It’d be a waste to send him back to be a fisherman or a dockworker or something.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“I’m not going to kill someone who got into demonic cultivation as a way to raise funds to get medicine for his sick mother,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “The idiot’s on tomb-sweeping duty for the next year to make up for having manipulated corpses the way he did, that’s punishment enough. It’s not at all comparable to the usual sort of amateur demonic cultivator, the ones that summon corpses to torment former lovers or murder business partners or that sort of thing – those are the ones I use as an example to warn everyone else. What’s the big deal?”

Lan Wangji said nothing.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Can you watch Jin Ling today? I have a – uh – important meeting.”

“Another woman that you have no intention of actually marrying?”

“Shut up and mind your own business.”

-

“No, but seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What are you going to do once you’re better?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Lan Wangji said, his voice muffled on account of his face being firmly in his hands. “Go away.”

“Listen, we’re still neighbors, we still need to talk. There’s no point in being suddenly shy about it just because you’re still in the acceptance phase of grief in connection with the whole me helping you with getting off business –”

“Never speak of it.”

Jiang Cheng sniggered. He wouldn’t have pegged the Lan sect as having uncontrolled libidos, much less Lan Wangji, but apparently the situation had gotten truly dire. Anyway, really, getting mockery rights was totally worth an arm work-out and having to put up with Lan Wangji, the latter of which he had to do anyway.

“You really are taking advantage of me now, though! My poor virtue –”

Lan Wangji looked at him through his fingers. “You don’t have any virtue.”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asked, suddenly curious. “I strike you as someone with a lot of experience –”

“I meant morally.”

“Oh. Hey!”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Not as pathetic as someone who won’t answer a straight question,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s your plan for after you’re healed? Are you going back to the Lan sect? Or start traveling as a rogue cultivator?”

“Why do you care?” Lan Wangji asked.

“I can care!”

“But you don’t. Not about my affairs.”

Jiang Cheng had to admit this was correct. “Fine,” he said. “I need a name.”

Lan Wangji frowned at him.

“For A-Yuan,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s been a year. The kid’s as healthy as he’s ever going to be, and he’s old enough for me to shove him in with the rest of the younger generation now that we’re starting lessons back up – cultivation, swordsmanship, shooting, etiquette, all the usual. But I can’t register him in the class without a surname, and I need to know if that surname’s going to be Lan or if you plan on changing it to something else.”

Lan Wangji was frowning at him.

“I know, I know, you’re in hiding,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s fine, it won’t give you away even if you do pick ‘Lan’. I can register him as a Yunmeng Lan instead of a Gusu Lan, the surname’s common enough that no one will suspect anything unless you make him start wearing a forehead ribbon, which I don’t think you lot do at this age yet anyway. But if you’re planning on continuing to hide from your family after you get better, you’re going to need to do something about all of that.”

Lan Wangji looked sour.

“Anyway, long story short, that’s it. Your plans, I need to know them.”

Lan Wangji looked even more sour.

“Well? What is it?”

“We will return to the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji said.

“Not that hard, was it,” Jiang Cheng said. “I knew you were just throwing a temper tantrum.”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes.

After a moment, he said, “What do we do about Jin Ling?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do we do about Jin Ling’?” Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously. “I had to fight half of Lanling Jin for the right to raise him here, we’re not doing anything about Jin Ling – anyway, who’s ‘we’? He’s my nephew!”

“A-Yuan sees him as a little brother.”

This was true.

“They will not want to part.”

…also true.

“Moreover,” and here Lan Wangji looked especially sour, “I believe A-Yuan has taken you as something of a – second parent.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s a cute kid. Anyway, don’t take it so personally. Kids just do that, they adopt any adult in the vicinity as their own. I mean, certainly Jin Ling thinks of you as…wait. Wait. Are we co-parenting?!”

“Mm. Took you long enough to notice.”

-

It had been a bad day, a bad week, and a bad month, and Jiang Cheng’s temper, never good, was on the verge of imploding, so naturally that was when he completely lost all self-control he might have had and marched over to Lan Wangji’s room to blurt out, “Why do you hate me?”

Lan Wangji’s hands stilled over his guqin.

“I know why I hate you, even putting aside the fact that you’re a jackass with the emotional capacity of a brick,” Jiang Cheng said. “But I really have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me.”

There were so many options, after all. He was a cruel, vicious, and bitter man – he was a terrible parent, unlikable as a friend, barely sufficient as a sect leader, and such a failure at connecting socially with anyone that he’d been blacklisted as a marriage prospect despite being handsome, young, rich, and powerful. There were so many reasons to hate him.

But he didn’t know which one was the one that made Lan Wangji look at him with disdain, even if he thought that perhaps there was slightly less of that these days than there had been before.

“I hate you because you abandoned Wei Ying when he needed you,” Lan Wangji said. “He was your brother, and you left him behind – more than that, you led the charge against him, resulting in his death.”

…that was a good reason.

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mind being hated for that reason, actually. It was a nice change from all those people who congratulated him for having done the right thing: all those smug sect leaders that comforted him for having raised a white-eyed wolf in the family, the ones that said his actions showed that he had a good backbone and a righteous bearing, the ones that had the gall to send him gifts of congratulation on the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death to thank him for his contribution to the cultivation world when all he wanted was to be left alone to mourn…

“That’s fine,” he croaked. “Okay. Yes. That’s – fine.”

“Why do you hate me?” Lan Wangji asked in turn. “You said you knew.”

“Oh, that,” Jiang Cheng said. “Same reason.”

Lan Wangji stared.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “I mean, I know you were always harsh on him when we were together at your uncle’s lectures, which was completely fair given how much he was always bothering you. But he really did try sincerely to help you when we were all the Wen sect’s camp, and in the cave with the Xuanwu – but after, in the war, when he showed up with his demonic cultivation, you suddenly turned on him even though he was just doing it to help. You kept telling him he had to stop, even though you knew he was doing so much for the war effort, and you wanted to take him back to Gusu to do who-knows-what to him…you even snatched him away during the battle of the Nightless City! I saw you. I was so afraid you were going to kill him, I completely lost my head. I looked for you everywhere – I really don’t know how he was lucky enough to get away from you that time.”

Lan Wangji stared at him.

“And then you didn’t even bother to show up to the siege of the Burial Mounds in person,” Jiang Cheng added, feeling bitter. “After I heard from the Lan sect that he escaped from you, I briefly thought that you’d changed your mind and let him go. I was counting on you to be at the Burial Mounds to support me in claiming him as a Jiang sect prisoner – I had Chifeng-zun signed on, if reluctantly, and with you leading the Lan I could’ve made a decent argument. But then you didn’t show, either you or your brother; instead you sent your uncle, and of course there wasn’t even any point in asking him, was there?”

“…I didn’t know,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded strangely hoarse. “I wasn’t informed. It was shortly after…”

He nodded at his own shoulder, meaning the disaster on his back. Jiang Cheng hadn’t asked how it happened – he really wanted to know, as in really, really, really wanted to know, but even he was aware that actually asking would be unbearably rude. Still, he was surprised by the timing of it. How had Lan Wangji managed to end up in the hands of his enemies then? Who had even been left to do it to him?

“Yeah, well,” Jiang Cheng said, shaking his head to try to kick away his curiosity the way he would something clinging to his foot. “You were still a bastard to him when he needed you, so I hate you.”

He frowned.

“Also, you hate me,” he said. “So I hated you back just for that. Though I guess, since your reason for hating me is valid, maybe I should stop hating you back for that?”

He considered it.

“No,” he decided. “You’re too annoying not to hate.”

“The same for you,” Lan Wangji said after an unusual hesitation.

Jiang Cheng nodded and, feeling oddly relieved at not having found a new basis for self-hatred, departs.

-

“So once you’ve reestablished yourself at the Cloud Recesses, we’ll exchange extended visits on a regular basis so the kids can see each other,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji nodded. “A minimum of three weeks per season, whether in the Lotus Pier or Cloud Recesses, and preferably double that.”

“Agreed.��

“In the meantime, you’ll work on getting the trade agreement we hammered out through your brother and sect elders as recompense for the time you spent here.”

“Mm.”

“An agreement whose source you will be disclosing very carefully because the Venerated Triad will not hesitate to murder me if they figure out without adequate warning it was me that was housing you for all this time.”

Lan Wangji said nothing and promised nothing.

Bastard.

Still, after nearly three years, Jiang Cheng was pretty used to it.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said. “Is there anything I’ve left out?”

“Joint night-hunts.”

“Right, right, we’ll make a point of regularly going on joint night-hunts – wait, why are we doing that? You don’t need me to watch your back now that you’re fully healed.”

Lan Wangji’s gaze wandered.

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said. “So we can keep having hate-sex on the regular?”

“…mm.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? It’s not like I’m doing anything else – or anyone else. Blacklisted, remember?”

“Unsurprising,” Lan Wangji said, like the bastard he was.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, whatever. The set-up works, doesn’t it? I’m blacklisted, you’re apparently eternally pining for Wei Wuxian of all people – your taste is the worst – so who’s going to call us out on it? Go on, get out of here already. I’ll see you next month.”

-

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, looking between the newly resurrected Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, abruptly made of an issue he had hitherto not considered based on Lan Wangji’s screaming body language. “This is. Uh. Awkward?”

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

[heyitsmerose]

Ateez Reaction to their s/o having pmdd (Maknae Line)

PMDD - (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) Is a menstrual disorder that many women have that causes extremely painful period cramps, nauseousness, sever mood swings and is overall quite frustrating to deal with. I am writing this imagine from my experience of pmdd, however remember everyone’s body is different, and in no way do I want to generalise any illness. Okay thank you, happy reading! :)

Word Count: 2.5k

Mature Language*

Smut content

San: 

It was a normal day at the dorm, and you and San hadn’t seen each other in a while. Deciding to pay him a visit, you made your way to their dorm to surprise him. You packed some dinner and made your way to the dorm. Upon reaching, you were greeted by Seonghwa and Hongjoong, who were also at the dorm at the time, the rest had gone out, either to practice, or just to do something else. You entered San’s room and sat on his bed waiting for him. He was in the washroom taking a bath, and so you just simply waited for a bit. 

About 10 minutes later, San emerged from the washroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Once he saw you asleep on the bed, he chuckled and got changed as quietly as possible, trying not to wake you up. After he was done, he decided to sit next to you wake you up gently.

“Babe, it’s me, wake up now please, I wanna see youu” He whined. You readjusted in the bed and got up feeling a little dazed.

You got up and just observed him. The way he was smiling so lovingly at you, the way he had both arms under you, holding the small of your back, lifting you up, his sweet yet husky scent, the way his wet hair was pushed back, the way the thin black fabric of his full sleeved button up allowed you to see all his defined muscles, and you couldn’t help but think about how perfect he was. Still in a daze, you just whispered a hello, and being the affectionate person San was, he immediately took you in his lap and sat you down facing him. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and you hugged him tighter. You hid your face in his chest as you tried to work out and process these weird emotions. You felt bubbly and weird, with a lump forming in your throat. 

“Hey, look at me hun!” He teased, laughing and giggling, while lifting your chin up. He pressed a kiss to your nose and that sent you off the edge. Soon, warm tears started pouring out your eyes and you couldn’t form any words. 

“Y/N, Y/N, Babe, are you alright, did I hurt you?” He panicked taking your face in both of his hands. You couldn’t get any words out and simply sobbed. You didn’t know what you were feeling and why you were feeling these feelings and tried to stop, but to no avail.

“I-, I-,” You tried getting out, but unable to take in enough air, you weren’t able to speak. 

“Hey, hey, hey, Y/N, take it easy, breath in and breath out, I’m sorry if I did something to upset you.” He pouted and looked at you.

“No!” You suddenly interrupted taking him by surprise 

“I just love you so much, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m an emotional mess, why are you so perfecttt” You rambled, whining your words at the end, and crying again. By this point you had gotten the attention of Hongjoong and Seonghwa too, and they were watching the both of you secretly through the doorway.

“Wait, what?” San asked a little confused.

“I said you’re so perfect, you’re just so fucking amazing and you make me feel these emotions that I’ve never felt before, I just feel so lucky and happy that you’re mine, it’s overwhelming.” You said finally, getting that off your chest. 

“Well, I love you too Y/N, and I bet I love you more” he said with his eyes full of tears too. It was overwhelming to him too, how much you loved and valued him.

“Yah, San-ah I’m on my period I’m allowed to act all sappy and moody, you’re nott” You both chuckled and laughed at each other.

“Well, what can I do, I just love you so much” he replied and you wiped his tears. You heard whistles from the doorway and knew it was Hongjoong and Seonghwa. 

You stayed as close to each other as possible for the rest of the evening, not even leaving one another to go anywhere.

Mingi: 

You were on your period and Mingi was well aware of it. A few days before your period you always felt a little needy, and by now Mingi was used to your mood swings and weird behaviour. What he didn’t anticipate however, was you having pmdd. Neither did you. He’s had girlfriends before, and although he didn’t mean to compare, he noticed your symptoms were a little more extreme compared to everyone else. In fact, he was the one that suggested you go to the doctor, and thus here you were.

You had come to the OB/GYN with your boyfriend Mingi, since he was concerned for you. You always went through this, and been doing so for the past 10 years, so you didn’t think much of it. However when Mingi once came across you throwing up and crying in pain, he knew something was wrong. He found that you had been hiding your symptoms to not bother him. As you had expected, the second he found out, he freaked out and booked an appointment with the doctor. At the moment, you were answering a few questions about your symptoms and were surprised to find that every single symptom matched yours. You just assumed that everyone went through this every month, apparently not. You were starting to get worried. What if you weren’t normal, what if there was actually something really wrong with you. You interlaced your fingers with Mingi, and filled out the rest of the forms, describing your symptoms to the nurse. The nurse noted down your symptoms, sighed and left the room. You started biting your nails and bouncing your knee, your were getting nervous.

“Hey, Y/N” Mingi called to you lovingly “What’s wrong, you seem nervous”

“Mingi, what if it’s something serious, like what if I have cancer or something?” You suddenly blurted out. Mingi frowned and took both your hands in his.

“Hey, don’t say that, for all we know, it could be normal and you would just need a few meds, I promise It won’t be as bad as you think” He assured you, but inside he was just as nervous and scared, if not, maybe even a little more than you.

A few minutes later, the nurse arrived inside the room with your results printed on a piece of paper. She handed it to you, and you read through it while also trying to pay attention to what she was saying.

“Miss, Y/N, you most likely have, what’s known as Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Its similar to PMS but is a little more severe. It won’t cause too much trouble to your life however we’d suggest taking birth control to help reduce the symptoms slightly” She suggested looking at the both of you. She proceeded to leave to room to give you both some space. You looked up at Mingi, and he smiled back down at you.

“See, it’s nothing too serious, besides, birth control gives us an excuse to have more sex” He laughed at you while you playfully shoved him.

You were thankful to have such a caring boyfriend like Mingi, who always looked out for you. For the months and years to come, he always made sure you took your medicines and eased the pain and helped in whatever way he could. 

Wooyoung:

You and Wooyoung were such a power couple. Both of you being complete crackheads, there was not one day that was boring in your relationship. You always knew how to match each others energy and took risks together. That’s what you loved about him, his ability to keep up with your crazy personality. In fact, it’s quite cheesy, but you truly completed each other, he knew you inside and out and you knew him completely too. 

You had come out to a restaurant to just spend some time with one another and were enjoying each other’s company. It was rare to have moments like these, where it was just the both of you, and you loved spending time with each other.

You were halfway through dinner, eating your appetisers, when all of a sudden, you felt a wet feeling down your leg. You cursed realising you could have potentially leaked out of your tampon, and excused yourself to go use the washroom. Once you left, you quickly wobbled to a stall and pulled your underwear down to check. As you predicted, you had in fact leaked, but it was worse than you thought. The bottom of your dress was completely stained red, and your underwear was completely soaked in blood. You tampon was lost somewhere in the red ocean of blood and you had no clue what to do. You realised you left your phone on the table, so you couldn’t do anything. You sat on the toilet, with nothing to do just contemplating what you should do next. 

Meanwhile, Wooyoung was just waiting for you on the table itself. After around 20 minutes passed, he started to get worried and checked his phone to see check if he got any messages from you. He then glanced to your side and noticed your phone still there on the table. Looking back at his phone he checked the time... and the date. Cursing to himself quietly, he realised that it was that time of the month, and knowing you had pmdd, he knew something must have probably happened. Without another thought, he ran to the washroom slamming the door open.

“Y/N? Babe? are you there?” You heard Wooyoungs voice call out. 

“Wooyoung? Thank god, I’m like stuck here and I don’t know what to do.” You said relieved that he finally noticed you were gone. 

“Okay, no one’s here in the washroom, I’m locking the washroom door, could you open your stall door?” You obliged and opened your stall door, greeting him with a bunch of blood on the floor and completely destroyed underwear. He snickered at your situation began removing him pants.

“Woo, what the fuck are you doing?” You asked him thinking he was going crazy.

“Calm down, just take my boxers and like wrap them in some tissue paper, it should work as a makeshift pad. Also I’ll give you my denim jacket, just tie it around your waist or something” He said removing his underwear. You quickly agreed and wore his underwear after stuffing it with tissue paper. He then gave you his jacket and you wrapped it around your waist. He pulled back up his pants, threw your underwear in the dustbin and cleaned up after you. You were in that point of your relationship where both of you were completely comfortable with eachother, so this was nothing major. Once he was done and walked in front of you, you took the opportunity to smack his ass. 

“Wow, maybe you should just not wear underwear” You laughed at him

“Very funny” He sarcastically responded back. 

Jonho:

You were at Jongho’s place and were just laying on his bed. You both had been dating for not too long, around 1 month at max, and you still always felt a little uncomfortable, or rather self conscious and insecure around him. Besides, he was everyones dream guy, with a voice sweeter than honey and not to mentioned those muscles, while you were just, you. You tried your best to always act as nice and proper as you could, and still hadn’t completely opened up to him yet. Jongho on the other hand, was falling for you, hard. He was absolutely smitten and no other person had ever made him feel this way. He loved when you visited as you got to spend time with each other.

You were just on your phone, while he was downstairs getting something to eat. You popped a breath mint in your mouth, and readjusted your position to get more comfortable. After laying there for a few minutes, Jongho came back with some strawberries and chocolate, the perfect, lowkey yet romantic food ever. You made sure to eat them slowly and properly, too scared you’d scare him away by scarfing them down. Jongho on the other had, had no problem eating them quickly. You just laughed at him and looked at him lovingly. He noticed you staring at him and a bright smile spread across his face. Wanting to get a little closer, he took the first step and decided to pull you closer to him by your waist. You jumped a little at the movement, but soon scooted towards him, and laid your head on his shoulder. Trying to ease the tension and make the situation a little less awkward, Jongho put his hand on the bed, around you. What he didn’t anticipate however was for there to be a wet spot, of blood. He quickly peeked behind you and saw a giant spot of blood, where you were sitting before. Not wanting to embarrass you, he calmly said...

“Hey, Y/N, you seem to have had a little accident, don’t worry, I’ll clean it up, I have a hoodie you can wear, and you can borrow my boxers too, if you’d like. I’ll just get some pads from the nearby pharmacy too, just a sec” He said smiling at you and getting up. However for you, this was your worst nightmare. 

“Wait what?” You looked to your side to see a giant red patch of blood on his light blue sheets. You gasped and to your horror, he had already gotten up pulling the bedsheets off. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I’ll deal with it, please come back in a few minutes or something, I don’t want you to see me like this, please” You begged him tears leaving your eyes from panic and embarrassment. He didn’t move however, continuing on with what he was doing.

“No, no, no, Jongho, please, this is so embarrassing, please, I’ll clean it up” You said, your voice cracking multiple times. Jongho immediately left what he was doing and walked to you holding your chin with his fingers.

“Hey, hey, hey Y/N, you have no reason to be embarrassed, this is natural and I love you, it’s alright.” He said, not realising the impact of his words

“You love me?” You asked clarifying, maybe your ears had deceived you.

“Um, well, yeah-” He said stuttering a blush growing on his cheeks. You took the opportunity and for the first time in your relationship, you kissed him softly and responded...

“I love you too”

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[ackerslut]

I hear you like prompts? Well I am well known for. The List. *unrolls scroll* sick fic, jealousy, fighting suitors, hostage situation, hypothermia, use of safe word, spa day, ruddiger v Hugo

AO3

It’s midday by the time Hugo finally deems his companions worthy of his company.

They’ve been staying at a small estate in Galcrest, with some friends of Nuru’s family who were kind enough to put them up for the weekend.

The last few trials have been grueling--if Varian’s being completely honest--what with the cave of mirrors and the hall of memories haunting Nuru’s nights and Yong’s smiles and Varian’s everything. So a break in what their gang was affectionately nicknaming “the air kingdom” seemed in order.

The first few days go by fine--Nuru drags Hugo out to the marketplace, talking shop about swords and armory to her heart's content, while Varian and Yong scour the countryside and set off fireworks in the clear skies.

It’s exactly what their group needs to get back on track--a little rest and a lot of free time to relax and get to know one another better.

Then Hugo shows up for breakfast one morning and all of Varians’ optimism flies out the window.

“Whoa, are you sick?” Yong says, popping his head out of the pantry. “You look terrible.”

Hugo sends him an irritated glance. “No,” he says and then immediately sneezes. “I’m not sick,” he says, peevishly when they all continue staring at him in silence. His voice sounds like he’s been gargling rocks.

Nuru places a hand on his flushed forehead that he immediately swats off. “You’re burning up,” she says with a frown. “Did you leave your window open last night?”

“More likely that he got it from town,” Varian mutters. He seems to remember a kindly merchant lamenting about his daughter coming down with a spring cold. Dammit Hugo.

“I’m going to heat up some soup,” Yong says decisively, already making a bee-line for the cupboards.

“I don’t need soup.” Hugo literally cannot sound any more like a sulky pre-teen right now. “What I need is for you all to stop ganging up on me.”

“What you need is a doctor,” Nuru mutters.

Hugo turns his scowl on her.

“How about this,” Varian says, once again playing diplomat between his two best friends, “Hugo eats the soup, and Nuru doesn’t make him see a doctor.

Hugo and Nuru continue to eye each other for a moment before Hugo mutters out an annoyed “fine.”

Varian has a feeling that today is going to be an exercise in not dumping his best friends.

____

About three hours into the “Hugo is pretending that he’s not sick” fiasco, Nuru has decided she’s had enough.

“I’m taking Yong to town,” she says, wrapping a scarf around the younger boy. “If the idiot won’t see a doctor, than I’m at least going to get him some medicine.”

Varian, who was the person who had to deal with Hugo throwing up in the bathroom half the afternoon, privately agrees.

“Is there anything I should do?” he asks, not exactly sure what to do with sick people. His dad never got sick and Rapunzel had about a million physicians taking care of her whenever she contracted some illness or another.

“Try and keep him in bed. I also left some tea leaves in the kitchen, if he feels up to drinking anything.” Nuru adds, halfway out the door. “I know you want to kill him most of the time, but it would be most inconvenient to hide his body.”

Varian rolls his eyes. “I’ll do my best,” he says, dryly.

He doesn’t actually plan to antagonize Hugo--let alone kill him. Despite the fact that the blond still manages to annoy him on a daily basis, he’s also kinda friends with the guy now.

They’ve fallen into an easy companionship with mutual banter and annoyed antics that usually have their friends up in arms, but it works for them.

Besides, the guy just looked far too pathetic, dry heaving in the sink this morning, to give him a hard time.

A few minutes after Nuru and Yong leave, Varian makes his way to the room Hugo is staying in. At first glance, the place appears empty--bed unmade, small sitting area absent of life--but after a quick scan of the large room, Varian finds him.

Hugo sits on the window seat. His legs are drawn up under him and his head rests against the wall. The breeze filtering through the open window brushes his hair back from his forehead and makes the open collar of his white, unbuttoned shirt, fluttering slightly.

Something about the sight of him--flushed, exhausted, unguarded--twists something in Varian’s stomach.

“Hey,” he says, voice cracking too loudly in the quiet.

Hugo doesn’t turn his head, but his shoulder inch up slightly. “Hey,” he says back, eyes glued to something outside the window.

Varians’ eyes narrow in on the gooseflesh raised on the skin of his neck. With a sigh, he snatches a blanket off the bed and goes to Hugo, draping it over his shoulders.

Hugo turns his head at that, blinking up at him owlishly through round glasses. “Oh,” he says, like he’s just noticing Varian’s here. Which is concerning. “Thanks.”

Varian shrugs a shoulder, throwing himself on the other side of the window seat. It’s a large enough space--or maybe Varian’s just short--for the two of them to sit without touching. Not that Varian’s thinking of touching him.

An uneasy silence--on Varian’s part, at least--falls over them as Hugo continues to stare blankly out the window. His usually brilliant green eyes are glazed over, enhancing the flush that’s spread from his face, down his to his neck.

He sniffs a couple of times, nose wrinkling.

“Nuru wants you to drink some tea, I think,” Varian says, tapping his fingers against his knee nervously. “I can go get some for you if you wa-”

“It’s fine.” Hugo’s voice carries no intonation. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Varian says, in a very measured voice. The last thing he wants to do is upset the guy right now.

Hugo’s eyes shut. His lips press together tightly, but not out of anger. He looks like he’s just barely holding it together, and Varian doesn’t understand why.

Or, maybe he does. Varian used to be very open and free with his emotions, but over the past few years--since everything in Corona with his dad, the amber, Cass--Varian has gotten used to putting up shields around his heart. Vulnerability was a very scary thing, especially with those you cared about.

Hugo didn’t seem to be the type of person who liked to show weakness.

A particularly chilling breeze brushes through the window. It’s enough that even Varian is shivering at it’s touch.

He reaches out slowly and gently pulls the blanket around Hugo tighter. Hugo’s eyes open at that, watching Varian with an unreadable emotion.

“I think you should lie down,” Varian says.

Hugo shakes his head. “Can’t.”

“Hugo-”

“The bed’s too soft,” Hugo exhales, sounding embarrassed.

Something in Varian’s stomach twists painfully. The year after prison hadn’t been easy, but most of it was just getting used to being able to walk around without having the entirety of Corona’s military breathing down your neck. The other half was getting used to how soft his threadbare bed in Olde Corona felt.

Varian gets it. He doesn’t know Hugo’s story yet, but he gets it.

“Lie down here then,” he coaxes, one hand coming up to cup his neck. It’s warm--too warm. The worry simmering in Varian’s gut flares.

“What, on you?” Hugo snorts, sounding--if for a moment--a bit like himself.

Varian feels his own face flush about as badly as Hugo’s face is right now. “Would it make you feel more comfortable?” he asks, voice pitching up high.

Hugo’s stares at him hazily, the fever most likely getting in the way of his higher processing powers. “Yeah,” he says, looking not quite all there. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

And then he flops face first into Varian’s lap.

Varian lets out a surprised laugh, one hand going to his hair. “Okay then,” he says, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

“Mmphf.”

Varian snorts, coaxing Hugo into rolling over so that he can at least breathe. “Why do I put up with you?” he mutters, more amused than exasperated for once.

Hugo blinks a couple of times at him. “It’s weird,” he says at last. “You’re weird. I’ve never had someone who’s wanted to put up with me before.”

Varian’s hopes Hugo can’t tell his heart just shattered into about a million pieces. “Well, you do now,” he says, easing Hugo’s glasses off his face and delicately placing them on the nearby end table. “You have three people, in fact, who are willing to put up with your dumb ass.”

The blond squints up at him. “But you were first. That’s-” he gestures gracelessly with one hand, “-that’s important.”

Varian smooths his hair back from his forehead, mentally taking note of the amount of heat coming off his flushed skin. “Yeah?”

“Mmm.” Hugo’s eyes close. “You keep doing that. Surprising me.”

“Well someone has to knock your ego down a few notches.”

A ghost of a grin. His eyes open again, almost as if he’s worried Varian has left in the few seconds he stopped looking.

“Hugo, go to sleep,” Varian chides. He runs his fingers through Hugo’s hair again, hoping it will draw him into sleep. “I can continue to surprise you tomorrow.”

“You’re surprising me now,” Hugo mumbles, but he’s becoming more and more pliant with each pet of Varian’s fingers through his hair. “Don’t go anywhere, ‘kay?”

Varian swallows. “I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he promises. “Now go to sleep.”

Hugo’s eyes finally drop shut, breath evening out. Varian leans back against the wall, one hand in the blond’s hair. The weight of the other boy is both grounding and sends strange flutterings to Varian’s stomach that he doesn’t understand.

Hugo lets out a small snore in his sleep. It’s adorable. Hugo’s adorable, Varian realizes, much to his horror.

Another breezes brushes in through the window, setting the white, transparent curtains afloat in the air. Hugo shivers slightly, curling up closer around Varian.

His face is pressed somewhere between his thigh and stomach, one arm wrapped loosely around his torso. Varian runs his fingers through Hugo’s soft hair again and comes to two realizations simultaneously.

Varian has feelings for Hugo. Positive feelings. Fluffy, mushy, fluttering feelings that reside somewhere between his aching heart and the butterflies in his stomach and Varian wants to cry or throw up or maybe kiss the dumb blond until those feelings settle themselves.

Hugo might--a very, very tentative might, because Varian isn’t great at reading other people at the best of times--just might have feelings for Varian. Maybe.

That’s important, he had said, eyes glazed, pupils dilated, lips parted. You keep doing that. Surprising me.

Varian shuts his eyes. Yeah, he’s totally and utterly fucked.

[poisonousroxstar]

Imagine:

Wally with a cheerful trainer s/o, who's dying from an illness

Trigger warning: dying reader, dead reader. Illness. Angst. Toxicly positive reader? Possible grammar mistakes.

Wally first met you on the day he was going to get his very first pokemon! To his surprise, you were here for the same thing! Norman was nice enough to lend you both a spare Pokémon and balls for you two!

He remembers how nerve-wracking but thrilling it was catching his ralts. When he did, you praised him! And gosh, he couldn't help but blush at your comment.

He invited you over to his parents house, and you both became quickly familiar with one another; becoming friends (and also rivals) very quickly!

Since both of your pokemon were relatively weak, the two of you decided to train together.

Eventually, you were confident that your Pokémon was ready to take on the first gym! Wally wasn't nearly as confident though, thus you two parted ways.

You told Wally you'd see him around! Giving him a gleeful smile that made his heart skip a beat. It appeared he had a small crush..

You guys wouldn't meet again until the second gym. Wally had moved to come stay with his uncle, and by then he had gotten a little stronger! When he saw you, Wally couldn't help but get a little giddy and blush ever so slightly.

After your guys' battle, his uncle invited you over to his home. He noticed how his nephew was behaving, and thought it might be good to bring over his crush!

You cheerfully accepted! And even wanted to race Wally there! Although, that didn't work out as his condition rendered running a bit.... Problematic. Soo, instead of that, you trailed alongside him and chatted about your adventures and experiences so far.

You sort of took a break on your journey to spend time with the lime haired boy. And he couldn't have been more thrilled!

At first, you two trained together. Being on break didn't mean you couldn't get some experience in!

Eventually, you two started doing everything together. Hanging out and enjoying the beautiful area, especially the flowers. Fooling around, even if Wally sometimes protested against your ideas. And lazing together during uneventful days.

It was on one of those days you asked about his condition, and what it was that forced him to move to his uncles.

Wally paused for a moment, before replying with an answer. He thought that by becoming a trainer, he could become stronger, both as a person and with his illness.

His answer made you admire him, and you felt like you owed him something in return. So, with your cheerful tone that made beautiflies flutter in his tummy, you said:

"well... I'm technically dying!"

Wally gave you a shocked expression, and almost thought you were joking because of your tone.

But it wasn't a joke, unfortunately. You told him you had an illness that was slowly killing. You became a trainer as a way to see the entire region before your death, and take on the gyms in an attempt to become the champion of hoenn!

Wally stayed with a shocked expression "s/o... I'm so sorry..". You hushed him, saying that you weren't afraid of it, or sad. Maybe you were a long time ago but now? You were fine!

To lighten the mood, you reassured him that everything was ok. Wally was awed at how much you accepted your fate. He understood, since he had his own issues as well, but to know you were dying and still be happy? He doesn't think even he could be as jolly.

You brightened up the somber atmosphere with optimism, stating that you were here, and ready to make the most out of everything!

Wally couldn't help his racing heart when you smiled. Your cheerfulness and determination made him feel so warm and fuzzy inside. It was more then obvious he had a massive crush on you, and in a way, you returned those feelings as well.

Once that was clear cut, you decided to ask him out! Gosh, he was a blushing mess when you did, stuttering over his words and behaving more meek then normal. But... He accepted, a small smile on his lips.

The date was simple, but very cute. You two were strolling together around both Verdanturf town and Mauville city. The old couple of the daycare even let you both help tend with some of the pokemon. Although Wally was a bit hesitant, the pokemon cooed to his gentleness and calm nature. It was truly a precious moment!

It didn't take much time for you two to become a thing! Although yous never said it directly, it was clear as day you two were helplessly in love with each other.

It was also around this time you and Wally decided to resume your pokemon journey. Wally suggested you two stick together for the remainder of it, and you found the idea cute, so you two did!

But the plan didn't last too long.. halfway through your two's adventure, you began to cough. You often didn't think much of it, since it was something that happened a lot for you. Given your conditions and... everything.

But once you looked down at your hand, you noticed it was stained with.... Blood? You had coughed out blood, some of it coming out in small clumps.

This hadn't happened before, and you were actually... Very scared. Perhaps because it reminded you of your morality.. or because of Wally.

You couldn't let him see you like this. What would happen? How would he react? The last thing you wanted was to suspend his own adventure just because of you.

Wally noticed how quiet you got after your coughing fit, and asked if something was wrong. You hid away your bloody hand and hastily wiped any remaining traces of blood on your mouth, turning to him with your smile that always tug on his heartstrings "Yep! I'm fine! Just..."

You had to find an excuse. A way so Wally wouldn't suspect something. So, in a slightly sudden voice, you told Wally it was time to part ways.

At first, he interpreted it as you breaking up with him, which left him confused and very hurt; but when you explained it was just because you wanted to get the next gym badge, he sighed in relief you weren't ending the relationship. Although he was still puzzled by why you wanted to go on your own and a part of him didn't want you to leave. Something didn't feel right.

But you reassured him you'd see him again! And told him you two could still keep in contact through the phone! Although he still felt like something was... off... Wally just chopped it up to him being paranoid, and maybe even a little bit possessive? He wasn't sure, relationships were such a new concept to him.

With that and a peck on the cheek, you took off! And Wally waved you goodbye.

Wally then decided, he needed to get stronger! He hoped that the next time you two saw each other, you'd be impressed with how much he improved as a trainer and as a person, who wasn't bound to his illness.

Illness.. that's right, you were also sick, but much worse. Honestly, you were so good at hiding and quickly recovering from the symptoms, Wally almost forgot you were dying..

His chest ached at the thought of you dying. One of his fears was you dying before he could even talk with you again. His heart held so much love for you, and Wally wished that somehow he could take away your pain...

But your numbered days served as motivation. He wanted to get stronger, for you. He wanted to show you how far he came, and how far you've come!

Wally believed in you as well. He found you admirable for your optimism. He thought you could do anything! And that, even if you were dying, you'd survive, and make it.

Wishful thinking, I suppose.

But as Wally got stronger, you only grew weaker. The doctors you had visited said your condition had suddenly worsen out of the blue.

They said, at best, they could give you a few extra weeks of life. Maybe a month or 3, but you'd be heavily restricted. At that point, you'd be stuck to a hospital bed; your journey finishing right then and there.

So, you went against what they said. You held onto hope that, at the very least, you'd be able to collect all the gym badges.

Your calls with Wally became a bit more frequent, which he didn't reject to. Actually, he was really, really happy to hear you! Sometimes he'd get scared that something awful happened to you, so hearing your voice helped calm him.

You avoided telling him the truth though, instead asking about him, his Pokemon, and how far he is. Wally answered every question you had, becoming especially bright regarding his trainer status. You could hear the light and excitement irradiating from his voice, which made you smile.

When he asked about yours, you put on a cheery voice as you often did. Telling him everything was grand! You'd gotten a lot stronger, and had managed to collect another gym badge!

He congratulated you, saying how awesome you were! He asked if, when you two met again, you'd be willing to battle him.

You paused for a moment, not sure how to reply. You didn't want him to see you, not in your slowly deteriorating state. But at the same time you missed him. You wanted to see him again, physically. So, with an unheard reluctance, you agreed to the brawl!

Wally was concerned. You had never sounded so meek before. Never sounded so resistant to see him. He wondered if he did something wrong? If he displeased you someway. He tried not to let it get to his head, but the thought did irk him.

..when Wally finally saw you, he noticed how different you looked. Wally wasn't oblivious, but he didn't know how to bring it up. So, for the time being, you guys caught up! You told Wally how far you've gotten so far, and showed off your collection of badges! You also showed him your Pokemon, how strong they had gotten.

But Wally kept quiet, or replied only in short sentences. You notice his concern expression intensify upon bringing your Pokemon out. Their faces showed hints of sadness.

Finally, Wally asked if you were ok. Your quick reply more or less confirmed you weren't, despite your response portraying the contrary.

He took your hand into his and told you softly that, it's ok if you don't want to tell him. He just wants to make sure you're fine. His skin was so soft you had just noticed, and his delicate hold brought you comfort.

So, with hesitance, you finally told him what was happening. You told him how your illness had advanced, how limited your time was, what they adviced and why you went against it.

Wally looked at you with shock and sadness, but he tried not to overreact. Instead, he held you.

You brushed off his concern, and challenged him to a battle! Wally was stunned by how quickly you tried shifting the topic, and he declined at first. But you reminded him of the ole' trainer rule:

If two trainers lock eyes with one another, it is mandatory they begin a battle!

You wanted to distract yourself and him. You didn't want your illness to be a burden. At the very least you wanted to enjoy the time you had with him instead of focusing solely on you.

When the battle concluded, as if on cue, you coughed out. Wally could tell you were in pain, even if you tried playing it off as if you weren't. He quickly came to you, asking what was wrong and if he needed to call the hospital!

You weakly say it's fine, but Wally rebuked in an attempt to bring you back to reality. It was obvious you weren't 'fine', and he tried to convince you to go see a doctor; at the very least they could offer you some sort of pain reliever!

What was only worry for your well-being evolved into an argument. Even if you put on a happy face and chipper persona, you were suppressing a lot of emotions, and Wally was the unfortunate 'pin to the balloon'.

You let everything pour out, such poisonous words being thrown at him. Wally was stunned into silence by you, only able to endure your verbal assault. Your toxicity would of likely continued if another coughing fit hadn't taken over.

But this time, you weren't able to hide the pain. Your coughs rapidly grew worse, and the ache became too much to the point where your legs buckled in.

Wally panicked when he saw you dropping, but was able to keep calm enough to call the ambulance. He tried to help you as much as he could, but he didn't know what to do. Even you didn't.

When help finally arrived you had completely knocked out, a sickening pool of dark crimson pouring from your mouth that had convinced Wally for a moment that you were gone.

You were rushed to the nearest hospital. Wally wanted to come along with you, but the doctors refused and didn't take the precious time to hear his pleas.

..for the next few days, all Wally could think about was you. His journey had reached another stop, and he tried to stay at the hospital for as long as he could.

The only people he seemed to interact with was his gardivour, his uncle, and his parents. Other then that he had turned completely mute.

He felt guilty, as if this was his fault. The last thing you'd remember if you didn't make it was the two of you getting into an argument. Maybe if he hadn't been so pushy, you wouldn't of had a fit and be here.

He knew it was dumb to think like that, but he couldn't help it.

Sometimes, he'd visit your Pokemon who had been transported to a daycare in the hospital. They seemed just as scared as Wally was, but he knew fearing wouldn't do anything; it wasn't what you wanted either.

So, he tried to be positive. He thought you'd be able to pull through. You were one of the strongest people he knew!

You couldn't die yet, not when you hadn't even completed the gym challenges!

His optimism brought hope to your Pokemon, and to him as well! But Wally was split if he truly believed in what he just preached.

And every day that passed. Every hour you remained in your bed, motionless minus your chest pumping up and down from a machine you were hooked up with.

That hope grew dimmer and dimmer.

Sometimes he'd talk to you, gently rubbing your hand. Your guardian(s) allowed him to be near you, which he couldn't be more thankful for.

He'd tell you about his day, how boring the hospital was. He wondered if you could hear him? He hoped you could.

Wally missed you. He missed you so, so much. He missed seeing you walking around, he missed hearing your voice; he just wanted you.

Wally tried to pull himself together. He didn't want to seem weak in front of you, not when you needed the utmost attention right now. But he couldn't control himself for long.

Wally's gentle whimpers grew into uncontrollable crying. He was pleading to you, pleading to anyone, begging anyone to just---not take you away.

"P-please, S/O... I can't lose you. I...I love you!"

He wanted his words to reach you somehow, so that maybe... Maybe you would wake up.

But no amount of love laced words could pull you from your eternal slumber.

Your heart monitor began dropping. The beating of the machine inducing an intense anxiety into Wally. He cried out for help, and the doctors and nurses flooded the room like water.

Wally was pushed outside the room and force to watch as the medical team desperately tried to revive you. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when every attempt resulted in nothing. No response, nothing.

The doctor came up to Wally, a sad expression on his face. The world went silent. He was muttering out words, lips moving, but Wally couldn't hear anything.

He didn't need to. He knew.

And he just breaks..

He's crying, perhaps even hyperventilating as the doctors attempted to calm him down. Wally knew you were gone. He thought he would be prepared for it, but the impact was too much for him to handle.

He cries, he cries a lot.

And then your funeral comes, but there aren't any tears. Not because he isn't sad, but because he can't squeeze anymore out. He just looks at your coffin in melancholy.

For awhile, Wally doesn't leave his house. When he returned to his parents, he is was nearly mute, and only stayed inside. All that progress had regressed, and he was back to his old self.

Wally wanted to care for your Pokemon himself, but he just wasn't in a good place. He couldn't even care for his own Pokemon, but they understood; your death affected them as well.

With some outside help from his family and his/your Pokemon, Wally slowly got better. Slow, but better.

It was painful for him, but he had to accept keeping you in memory while moving on.

He likes to think you'd want him to go forward, complete his journey. And he came up with a motivator; he couldn't be doing it for himself now, but for the both of you.

He'd do this. For you, and for himself.

He'll get stronger. He'll get braver. Because that's what you may of wanted from him.

Wally would never love someone as much as he did you. You mean the world to him. If only you two had more time together.

Wally will always miss you. The pain will lessen, perhaps even some of his feelings. But his love for you will mostly remain intact.

Wally would visit your grave frequently. But as time went on, the visits became less frequent. Still, he always brought your favourite gifts and most times your Pokemon came along with him.

He'll never forget you. Never.

This lovely artist is the person, I believe, made the drawing! I didn't ask for permission however, so if they ask me to remove the art, I shall!

[nebraska-is-a-myth]

innocence never lasts - crime au

I’m back boys with another part, were getting closer to war time now dudes. This takes place before part 3 just if you wanted to get a better understanding of the timeline. 

part 1 & 2 & 5

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Wilbur came to town on an invitation from the masked man himself

Dream had enticed the brit with promises of riches and power, and he already had connections within the city so really what had he to lose

Wilbur was supplied with a small team, he was in charge of one of the larger drug trades and production companies on the east side of the city. His job was to eliminate any competition and regain complete control of the eastern drug exchange, how he did that was completely up to him. 

However, when dream sent a duo of teenage criminals to his door, Wilbur was less than impressed

“Dream, how do you expect me to run a drug cartel when two thirds of the cartel are fucking children”

“You'll figure it out dude, I believe in you.”

“No this isn't an ‘I believe in you’ situation dream, they aren't even allowed to drink in this country let alone kill a bunch of drug lords that by the way, are probably predators!”

“Admittedly, yes, they are a little young. But Tommy is one of the best kids I know, everything he knows he either learnt from me or the blood god himself.”

“Wait?” Wilbur moves his eye in front of the peep hole in his front door to inspect the blond on the right. “This Kid is technos?” He watches him pull a face at the shorter boy before punching him in the arm.

“Yup.”

“And you're okay with that?”

“It's a long story but yes.”

Wilbur looks back through the peephole at the smaller of the two and distantly hears “What if we just stab him” through the thin wood of his door. The older brit shakes his head and turns back into his living room

“And who's the kid threatening to stab me”

“Friend of Tommy's, I think. And don't worry about the stabbing, it's probably his way of saying he likes you or something.”

“If any of these kids die it's on you green man.”

“I can live with that.”

When Wilbur opens the door again, Tommy has his head in his hands and sighs as Tubbo puts a knife to his throat.

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It's a week in and Wilbur has considered shooting the both of them more than he would like to admit.

He's not really one for killing children, but he's not a fan of being outnumbered by the little fuckers. So to make it even he calls up some of his contacts in the city.

He almost regrets it immediately when Tommy asks who the furry is

Wilbur tries to hide his laugh when the blond boy says this, but in the child's defense, Who the fuck wears a fox mask

Fundy and Eret get along fine after their first meeting and Wilbur is just happy he doesn't have to sit around and listen to Tommy and Tubbo argue over who can fit more breadsticks in their mouth without breaking any on his own anymore.

The drug business continues under Wilbur's power and surprisingly, no one dies. They take down competitors and pump out more and more supplies to companies that are willing to pay higher prices than ever. He hates to say it, but maybe he's glad he took this job from Dream

That is until Tommy almost punches his front door down at 1am covered in smoke and blood, Tubbo barely breathing on the porch next to him.

Wilbur panics and shoves the both of them in the back seats of his car, instructing a shaken Tommy to put pressure on Tubbos wounds as he floors it to the nearest hospital. He can deal with the repercussions of running red lights after he comes up with a plan to get through the hospital without being noticed. Sure maybe Wilbur wasn't on anyone's radar yet, but Tommy definitely was, and who knows how many people Tubbo has actually stabbed.

Dream has to have some sort of protocol for something like this, a secret entrance or a codeword or something. He reaches to grab his phone from his jean pocket and swears as he realizes he left it on charge on his night stand, looks like he's on his own for this one. He can do this, just focus and fucking drive Wilbur

When he gets to the hospital he parks right out front in a place where he definitely isn't supposed to be and helps Tommy and Tubbo out of the car and practically has to carry the brunet through the front doors. As soon as he walks in he knows people know, they've been on the news more than once and it's not difficult to keep up with the city's most wanted list these days, but Tommy's limping now and he knows the adrenaline is wearing off so he drags tubbos bleeding body up to the front desk and swallows his pride.

“Help them, please.”

The woman at the front desk looks Wilbur directly in the eyes, sees the way tears are building there and switches her gaze between the two younger boys.

“Please.”

The woman takes a breath and nods. “We need help here.”

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A few hours later when both boys are patched up and on the mend the doctor lets him in the room. Tubbo is out and hopped up on pain meds, recovering from smoke inhalation and a shrapnel wound on his left side. Doc said it looked worse than it is, he was only out to let his chest ease up a little. Tommy's wounds on the other hand were a little more permanent.

He’s sat on the bed next to Tuboos watching his chest rise and fall. There were bandages wrapping around his left leg, a mix of shrapnel and soft burn marks underneath, and his right arm is in a sling meaning he wouldn't be able walk on his own for a while. Wilbur sits next to him but Tommy doesn't stop watching Tubbos breathing.

“They almost put him on a ventilator.”

Tommy says it so softly, Wilbur almost doesn't recognize it was him at first. He's got a few stitches on his forehead where a purpling bruise blooms underneath, he almost doesn't want to know what happened. Almost.

“What happened Tommy.”

“What, not even gonna compliment my wheels.” He gestures to the right where Wilbur sees a small black wheelchair next to Tommy's bed and he tries not to choke on his breath. He hates being right sometimes.

Tommy sighs and closes his eyes, his head droops and Wilbur rests a comforting hand on the young boy's shoulder.

“It was one of the warehouses on the outer perimeter of the east side, Tubbo had asked me to help him take stock, it was already late and he thought if we both did it we could catch the last bus home together.”

He imagines the two of them dancing to stupid music and running around the warehouse playing tag or something stupid, it wouldn't be the first time.

“We weren't even halfway done before one of the alarms went off, didn't think much of it, smoke alarms go off all the time for stupid shit right. Didn't even reach the office before the first blast. Was a Molotov I think, probably what set the alarms off, no idea what turned the warehouse into a fucking bomb though.”

“Something exploded, don't know what but it got both of us. Landed on my shoulder real good. We ran to the back entrance, or as close as we could get before another blast went off, fucking ceiling came down on me. Hurt like a bitch but at least it's nothing permanent. Think I was out for a bit, not for long but long enough for Tubbo to hurt himself trying to get shit off me. ‘Rest is a bit of a blur to be honest, don't remember much between getting hit and ending up at your door.”

Wilbur takes a deep breath and shakes his head, it's not gunna help anyone if he starts getting emotional right now.

“Who would have done this.”

“That's the thing, I got a call about two minit's before the alarm went off from the master arsonist himself asking where I was. He never calls me will, not once. I didn't even know he had my fucking phone number.”

“Wait, why would sapnap want to blow up one of our warehouses.”

“I don't know, but Will, I lied. He asked if were were out on any jobs and I fucking lied I don't know why but I told him me and Tubbo were playing fucking video games at home, and not two minits later the place where I told him we weren't goes up in fucking flames.”

Wilbur sits in silence and looks between the two injured boys. He can't help but feel fury building in his chest, he doesn't care about the thousands of dollars lost in the fire, couldn't give less of a shit about Dreams fucking money. He’s angry that two teenage boys had been ambushed in an attack at a warehouse that his employer had promised were protected. God only knows what would have happened if Wilbur hadn't been home. He tries not to think about what would have happened if Tommy hadn't been there either, he stands and tries to get the image of Tubbo being trapped in that warehouse out of his head.

 He grinds his teeth together in confusion and anger hopes to god Tommy's wrong.

“Where are you going.”

Tommy looks up and meets Wilbur's eyes, the young boy sees the fury burning in them, he knows the older brit is mad and to be honest, he doesn't blame him. He watches Wilbur walk round to Tubbos bedside and picks up his cracked phone, he doesn't mention the way he’s sees Wilbur's hands shake.

“Ill be back okay, I've got a phone call to make.”

[sevlgi]

heal

requested: yes

group: blackpink

pairing: jennie x fem!reader

genre: angst, questionable fluff

contents: idol!jennie, established relationship, hurt and comfort

warnings: death of reader’s family, grief

synopsis: As the older one in the relationship, Jennie will always protect you, especially as you heal.

a/n: I hope I wrote a decent representation of grief? if I haven’t or you need me to change something, please let me know and I’ll do my best to correct it.

word count: 1.6k

To Jennie, the absolute worst feeling in the world is seeing you in pain.

Your relationship is usually pretty lighthearted; both of you enjoy bantering and teasing, and your days are filled with laughter. Of course that doesn’t mean that you don’t have hard days, though it took your girlfriend a little time to realize the signs of you feeling down, and even longer for you to open up about it.

On the days that you do feel down, for whatever reason, Jennie’s absolutely determined to support you through it, and she knows you’ll do the same for her. She’s older, so she always feels the responsibility to protect you, even as you assure her it’s not her job.

As of late, she’s had to do it a bit more often, though she’s sure you don’t realize how you’re falling apart. She can’t blame you for it, obviously; the news that your relative is terminally ill has got to hit hard.

Still, it’s unsettling for you to be acting so differently, without even a hint of a smile on your face and a frantic look in your eyes. You don’t sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, staying up through time zones to call your relative’s doctors. You forget to eat, and Jennie doesn’t think you recognize that you’ve worn the same sweatshirt for weeks on end.

It’s up to her to take care of you, and while she’s happy to do so, your girlfriend hates the circumstances it’s under. Usually, she’d love the opportunity to be the caring, sweet partner who makes food and gently reminds you to eat, who tucks you in when you fall asleep on the couch.

Jennie tries to be there for your calls with the doctor, just in case something terrible and unexpected happens and she needs to support you. Today, it pays off.

“What… what do you mean?”

She stops in her tracks, on her way to grab some snacks from the kitchen, when she hears the quaver in your voice. There’s genuine fear in your eyes, lips parted in dread. “She’s… she’s gone?”

A broken sob leaves you just as Jennie reaches you, her hands on your shoulders steading you as you slump forward. She grabs the phone when you let it slip out of your hand, and places it on speaker. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Y/L/N. Your relative died this morning, we’ve only been able to reach you now. We will contact you with assistance to plan the funeral, if that’s what you want.”

You’re unable to answer, already crying into your girlfriend’s shoulder. Each heaving breath you take feels like a sharp stab to the heart, but Jennie steels herself to say, “I’m sorry, Doctor, we’ll have to call you back about this.”

She barely manages to hang up before she has to wrap her arms around you fully, pressing her face into your hair as tears threaten to prick at her own eyes. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Even though you don’t reply, Jennie continues with soothing words that feel empty even to her ears, smoothing your hair and simply letting you break down. 

There’s nothing that could possibly hurt more than seeing you like this.

You don’t get out of bed the next day, and Jennie doesn’t ask you to. You’re already awake when she opens her eyes in the morning, and she presses a kiss to your temple before going to get ready.

There’s no way she can leave you alone in this state, so while she makes breakfast, Jennie makes a call to Jisoo. “Yeah. I can’t explain, but I need to be there for Y/N,” she whispers, eyes lingering on the door she left half-open.

“I got it. I’ll explain to Chaeng and Lisa, and I’m sure our managers will understand. Please tell Y/N that we all feel terrible for her loss.” Despite the muffled quality of Jisoo’s voice, Jennie can hear the sympathy, and she thanks her member before hanging up.

The entire day is lonely without your constant presence; it’s weird to eat breakfast without you, and it’s even weirder to spend the day lounging around the living room and guest room to try and give you space.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all quietly left on the desk inside your shared bedroom, and Jennie takes the full plates away without complaint before bed.

“Good night, jagi,” she whispers before going to sleep; the only response she gets from you is a sniffle that breaks her heart.

The next day, Jennie’s forced to make a very awkward phone call to your boss explaining your situation. You actually sit up in bed that day, and your girlfriend is at least able to make you drink some tea and have a few bites of food, though you refuse any more.

It’s all a part of the healing process, she knows, but at the same time, Jennie wants to cry every time she sees your empty eyes and sunken face.

The next week or so pass without incident, the days of wasting time in the living room and making uneaten food blurring together.

Almost a full 2 weeks later, Jennie has to record a sample of her singing for her producer; she tries to do it as quietly as possible in the living room and doesn’t think you hear her, but you speak for the first time in a while that night.

“You sounded good today.” Your voice is raspy from unuse, and Jennie looks up, surprised, at the sound of it. “I’m sorry you can’t go to practice because of me.”

Your girlfriend shakes her head, abandoning her shirt and taking your hands into hers. “No, baby, I’m happy to take care of you. You need me right now, and you’re the most important thing, okay?”

“Okay.” You watch Jennie continue to fold clothing, and you speak up again after a little bit of time. “You can keep singing and practicing. If you want. It makes me happy to hear you sing.”

The familiar gummy smile on Jennie’s face almost makes you smile in return, and she can barely hide her glee at getting an almost-reaction.

A few weeks later, you’re able to get out of bed again, though you usually return to the bedroom after making tea or just having a bite of food. You have showers and wash your face when you feel up to it, even if it’s not often. Still, it’s progress and Jennie’s delighted.

You insist that it’s okay for her to go back to work, but your girlfriend is still worried about it. “Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?” she asks again, looking worriedly at the 3 full meals she’s prepared and set on the counter.

The faintest hint of amusement shows on your face as you lean against the doorframe. “I’m fine, Jen. really. You’ve been consumed by me, and you don’t have to be. I promise I’ll call if I need anything.”

“Text me every few hours, okay?” she frowns, looking back even when she’s halfway out the door. “Promise me!”

“Promise.” You raise your hand in goodbye, sighing lightly.

Jennie’s the best girlfriend you could ever ask for, and you’re nothing short of grateful for how much she cares about you. Still, you feel guilty for holding her back. The least you can do is take care of yourself.

Your girlfriend is relieved to find you asleep with at least some of the food eaten when she comes back to work, and she presses a kiss to your neck when she gets into bed. “I love you, Y/N,” she whispers even though you can’t hear her.

It takes a bit of time, but you’re able to hold full conversations with Jennie soon, and even make jokes. You’re still a subdued version of yourself, but you even go back to worst against Jennie’s protests.

She falls in love all over again the day she hears your real laugh again; you’ve agreed to go out with her, even just to get some coffee at a shop a block away. “What?” you chuckle, cup pausing halfway to your mouth. “Do I have something on my face?”

“I love you.” It’s not like Jennie’s never said it before, but a rosy flush rises to your cheeks, and she smiles even larger. “You don’t have to say it back, I know you’re still hurt, but-”

“Love you too, Jendeukie,” you cut her off. “I love you too. Thank you so much.”

Your girlfriend raises her eyebrows, sipping at her own drink. “Hm? For what?”

“For... dealing with me. I know it can’t have been easy taking care of me for so long, you didn’t have to do all this for me. You took time off work, did all those things for me while I was bedridden. I know I didn’t talk about it, but I really appreciate it.”

Sighing, Jennie squeezes your hand over the table. “Y/N-ah. I’m your girlfriend, and I love you. I’m older, too, so it’s my responsibility to take care of you. When I said I’d support you through anything, I meant anything, okay?”

“I know. But I still want you to know how much I love you for all you’ve done.”

Pressing a kiss to your cheek, Jennie offers you another small smile. “I’d do anything for you, and I’m never going to leave. I promise.”

As you return her smile, your girlfriend can only grin at you. You’re still healing, and she knows it’ll take a while, but Jennie will be there with you every step of the way.

After all, it’s her job to protect you.

[tsrookie]

For the hc asks, what do you think would happen if at some point in Ethan and MC's future, Ethan was the one in some kind of serious accident/illness? There's lots of fics where something happens to MC, and obviously we have canon with the attack, but I'm curious about your thoughts on the opposite happening

Oof. Thanks for the ask anon! (This just turned into something completely different from what I had initially planned, so it’s a bit lengthy)

——————————

MC’s halfway through her third year. It’s an absolute pain with Leland around. He prioritises finding a cure for Caroline over everything else, so the diagnostics team is unable to give their fullest to the patients who actually need them. He keeps adding more facilities to the hospital, so the construction work seems never ending at this point.

She arrives at the hospital for her night shift, when she hears a loud explosion. She looks up in horror and sees a room on the sixth floor in flames.

Dread settles into the pit of her stomach as she rushes into the hospital, barging past security. Ethan had texted her just a few minutes ago, asking her to meet him on that very same floor.

Ethan feels a sharp pain in his forehead, and realises that he’s bleeding. He keeps little Jess close to him as she cries in fear. The poor kid was searching for her parents, and he had offered to help. They had reached the gas cylinder room, when Ethan saw the sparks.

The newly connected wires had broken, and the sparks were flying dangerously close to the gas canisters. He rushed into a nearby room and slammed the door shut, with a terrified Jess in his arms.

The loud explosion sent him hurtling to the the opposite side of the room. Jess clinged on to him for dear life, her fearful cries muffled by the roaring fire.

He takes a moment to recover from the initial shock, then his doctor instincts kick in. He lays Jess down and asks her to tell him if she feels any pain. She cries out loud when he checks her leg. She’s bleeding profusely due to a deep gash, and there was only so much pain she could take.

He takes off his coat and ties it around her leg to control the bleeding. She frightfully asks him if they were going to be safe. He takes a deep breath to try and nullify his own pain. MC’s image flashes through his mind, and the throbbing ache takes a backseat. He nods determinedly to Jess, internally vowing to get back to MC, no matter what it took.

He scans his surroundings. He sees the fire slowly spreading to the rest of the floor, and the walls threatening to crack and fall.

He manages to locate a door amongst the smoke across the corridor. He picks Jess up and tells a silent prayer for them to safely get out of there.

He narrowly misses a huge canister by seconds. He tries to calm himself down for Jess’ sake, but finds it incredibly hard to do given the hazardous environment. He feels his vision grow blurry as the smoke threatens to overwhelm him, but snaps out of it when Jess lets out another cry.

He finally reaches the door, and almost falls to his knees gasping for air. He staggers down the stairs, just as another explosion reaches his ears.

He hears loud shouts from the opposite side of the corridor. He can barely register whose voice it was before he finally collapses. The last thing he sees is a flash of auburn.

MC yells orders to everyone nearby, terrified at the sight of Ethan’s unconscious form. She drops to her knees and checks his pulse, all while trying to get him to wake up.

The nurses carry a passed out Jess to a nearby patient room, as more doctors arrive to place Ethan on a stretcher. Zaid holds MC back from going with them, despite her desperate cries.

Miraculously, he hasn’t suffered any major injuries. Just a few minor burns and cuts on his arms and legs. He passed out mainly due to smoke inhalation, due to which he was to be placed on the ventilator for a while. MC heaves out a sigh of relief when she’s informed that Ethan would make a full recovery in a week or two.

Jess is alright as well. Three more people suffered injuries due to the accident, but none fatal.

Ethan wakes up to MC holding his hand and stroking his hair. She doesn’t have to say a word for him to understand how he scared the living daylights out of her. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and lack of sleep.

She gives him a tired smile, filled with relief and love. He gives her hand a weak squeeze, and she presses a soft kiss to it.

She gets into the bed, careful not to touch any of his wounds. Kissing his forehead, she settles in for a much required nap, with his hands intertwined with hers.

Once he’s able to talk, he spends an entire hour with MC before seeing anyone else. He asks her about Jess, and is relieved to know that she’s recovering well.

He apologises to MC for putting her through the pain and fear he had once experienced. She silences him with a kiss, and tells him that none of it was his fault. She assures him that the only thing that mattered to her was that he had saved a little girl’s life, and gotten himself out of there.

When Ethan is asked whether he’ll be able to speak at a board meeting regarding the incident, he asks for MC to speak on his behalf. She protests, saying that she’s a mere third-year resident, but relents when Ethan tells her she’s the only one he trusts enough to have his best interests by heart.

At the meeting, Leland doesn’t own up to his mistakes, and constantly keeps emphasising on the fact that mistakes and accidents take place. He offers to compensate for the losses with more money.

When the board tells him that this isn’t something he can easily fix with a mount load of cash, and point out the various smaller mishaps that have taken place since his acquisition of Edenbrook, he shrugs it off and tells them that Edenbrook has had plenty of accidents in the past, and no further measures were taken after the attack the previous year. Something inside MC snaps at that moment.

“No. No, you don’t get to talk about what happened last year. You weren’t there when this hospital lost two of their finest members. You weren’t there to see how everyone suffered from their deaths. You don’t know how much Danny and Bobby meant to everyone in this room. Travis Perry, the one who set the gas free, died before any further action could be taken. You don’t know the fear of every single doctor who worked to find the cure. You don’t know about how much I personally went through watching two of my friends die, and one of them nearly. You don’t know the physical and mental toil it took on the victims. You. Have. No idea. About any of that. What happened last year wasn’t just an accident due to negligence on the hospital’s part, it was a textbook definition of an assassination attack. So yeah, you don’t get to compare what happened last year to you turning a blind eye to the problems of the hospital, because of the extra renovations you made. If someone had died in this...”

Her eyes burn with a fire no one had ever witnessed before. She takes a deep breath, trying not to think of what could’ve happened to Ethan, before continuing at a shell-shocked Leland, who looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“If someone had died in this fire, it would’ve been entirely on your shoulders, for failing to properly supervise the constructions. This isn’t the way things are supposed to work at a hospital, Leland. You want the hospital to become a premier research center, but did you honestly think about that when the hospital was sinking? Did you attend that charity gala last year, which was our last chance of saving the hospital? Did you find the need to donate money when we needed the most? You want a cure for Caroline, and that’s understandable. But you can’t keep making changes around here, and then fail to oversee the transitions properly. So please, stop trying to say that what just happened, wasn’t your fault.”

She finally sits down, with every single person in the room in complete awe. Naveen glances at her direction with a glimmer of pride. She isn’t an intern who used to have trouble navigating the corridors anymore. She’s a doctor who knows her place in the hospital, a member of the most prestigious diagnostics team in the country, and she knew damn well what was right and what was wrong.

MC knows that she could possibly lose her job due to her outburst, yet the looks on the faces of the board members tell her otherwise. The rest of the meeting passes with Leland finally admitting to his negligence over the more minor details, which have cause issues since he came to the hospital. They agree to have a few more meetings to discuss the measures to be taken to fix the damages of the accident, and Leland’s administration.

Naveen walks up to her after the meeting, and tells her that she technically wouldn’t be in any trouble, since she was speaking on Ethan’s behalf, and he would’ve done the exact same thing she had done. And no one would dare speak up against Ethan Ramsey. She laughs at the truthfulness of the statement.

“But I never want to become a carbon copy of him at any point. That would be terrible.”

“Now what would be so bad about that?”

“He terrorises the interns! I never want to become that strict.”

“Well... he hasn’t been terrorising them that much recently. Probably since he knows a certain someone was an intern when he first fell for them.”

She smiles sheepishly, as they both walk towards Ethan’s room.

“I’m really glad he’s okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if...” She trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“I know, MC. Me too.”

Once she reaches Ethan’s room, her lips quirk up into a smile as she finds him trying to pass time on social media. After a quick kiss, he asks her about the meeting. She relays the entire thing, and needless to say, he’s highly impressed.

He tells her to go home after a while, but she tenderly replies that she wasn’t going anywhere. He stayed by her side when she was a patient, and she wasn’t about to leave him when the tables were turned.

Ethan sighs, and pulling MC close, he finally drifts off into a peaceful slumber.

——————————

A/N: I gave it a happy ending!😅 I know this was more of a mini-fic than a hc, but I couldn’t help myself! Hope it made sense, ‘cause I have no clue about any construction work whatsoever.

Also, thank you so much for all the requests you’ve been sending! I’ve got plenty of stuff to work on now, so thanks a lot for that💙

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[alwaysthesideofwonder]

A slightly different take on Shouto’s response to Fuyumi dating/getting married (though the Todoroki brothers going into over-protective mode over their sister remains one of my favorite set of fics), given that she’s been his surrogate mother for most of his life and assuming that he doesn’t have his brothers around to guide him on what the normal response would be to this (and of course his not very good frame of reference for normal and some underlying abandonment issues...)

***

It comes up during one of the visits Shouto has been able to make to his mother since all the students had been moved onto the campus. Usually they send letters back and forth but he does like to try to see her in-person after they had spent so many years apart.

The visit starts the usual way, where his mother tells him some of the activities that her doctors and therapists have her doing (this week had been painting vases, including the light yellow one that she now has brightening up her room holding the paperwhites that he brought her). Then he fills her in on how school has been going with some light (and sometimes not so light) fudging of the details. One of the downsides of being in the hero course at UA is the amount of media coverage of some of the incidents that generally do not make mothers feel better about their sons becoming heroes. On the upside, Midoriya is his classmate so when pressed he can always tell her about what happened to him and how at least her son hasn’t broken most of the bones in his arm.

Lately though, they’ve added on a new segment where his mother gets the chance to reveal the recent ongoings of his siblings’ lives. While Fuyumi usually has already shared most of the news with him by text or their weekly phone call, there’s this little spark of happiness that runs through him as his mother moves to the edge of her seat, her eyes becoming brighter and even her hands becoming expressive as she shares each story. For so long she had remained at the periphery of her children’s lives that she is understandably thrilled to finally get to be a messenger between them.

After the announcement of Natsuo possibly (which definitely is the key word there) bringing his girlfriend to meet her, she starts to wonder.

“Soon enough it will be Fuyumi bringing her husband and starting a family of her own! Oh, and grandchildren!”

He feels something starting to grow inside his throat, closing it up, quickly joined by his stomach that starts churning without explanation. His body feels untethered, as if the slightest breeze is going to knock him out of his chair, and a tingling sensation runs up his hands and feet as well. At least he has enough strength to nod in response as his mother drifts off to her own musings on the grandchildren she would have someday. Talking simply is not an option with every breath taking extra effort to take in while trying to appear normal.

It takes her a minute to come back to herself, which is thankfully enough time for his body to calm down from whatever it is that happened. She switches off instead to tell him about a new recipe Fuyumi had brought for her to try and with that the conversation is carried away as if she never brought up that particular hypothetical.

It’s only after bidding his mother goodbye that he has the time to try to figure out what had just happened.

Perhaps it had simply been surprise? It wasn’t exactly a topic that was ever broached in their household, though he wasn’t entirely sure whether that was simply neglect on Endeavor’s part regarding his weak daughter or because it was simply a topic that no one felt Shouto needed to be present during the discussion of. Given his father’s own part in a Quirk marriage though, he felt he would have heard of it by now if he had the idea to set up an arranged marriage meeting for Fuyumi. They had lived in the same house after all and most recently it had just been the 3 of them. More likely, his father had deemed his sister’s Quirk to be too weak and didn’t have the patience to wait for a grandchild who was more than likely to have an even more diluted Quirk, especially when he had a son with the ideal Quirk already, and so didn’t care what happened in that particular arena.

Still…if it was just surprise, why is the uneasiness coming back again?

***

A few minutes sitting in the hospital lobby is enough time for his body to settle again and to determine that he needs to talk to someone who can understand this better than him. And really, who better to ask than Yaoyorozu?

Unfortunately, he doesn’t bank on how popular Yaoyorozu is and thus how difficult it would be to find her alone to talk to since they were all living on campus. In the meantime, he settles on the temporary solution of not thinking about the actual reason why he needs to talk to her since that seems to make him feel ill, instead focusing on figuring out when he could talk to her without an audience of some of the nosiest classmates one could ever ask for.

After a week and multiple failed interceptions, he has the good luck to be bringing down his laundry right when she is emptying the dryer of hers.

“Yaoyorozu!”

She looks up and smiles, “Todoroki, are you doing your laundry today too?”

Of course, with all the effort he’s put into trying to find her, he hasn’t considered what exactly to say to her.

“Yes?” he answers, not sure if this is one of those times that he should elaborate further because he figures that was obvious given the basket of clothing he’s carrying.

Also, how much small talk is necessary before getting into an awkward conversation about your really dysfunctional family?

“That washer should be empty. Uraraka just started a load in the other one,” she shares, gesturing at the one at the end of the row. He walks past her towards it but comes to an abrupt stop halfway, finally coming to a decision on what to do say next.

“Could I…ask your advice about something?” He glances at her from the corner of his eye before looking back down at his laundry basket.

She pauses, putting down a neatly folded blouse, before practically bouncing over to him, stopping just inches from him with an enthusiastic “Of course!”

He turns and stares at her expression of pure focus for a moment before realizing that she’s waiting to hear what he has a question about.

Taking a deep breath and forcing himself to keep looking at her, he starts.

“I was talking with my mother…and she mentioned something about my sister getting married…” The uneasiness starts but he’s aware of it now and it’s easier to keep it tamped down.

“That’s so exciting! Have they set a date already? Have you met her fiancé yet?” He feels his eyes growing wider with every question. He really should have rehearsed this before he found her…

“Oh no, it was more hypothetical,” he clarifies, “I think, at least? She said someday.”

Yaoyorozu tilts her head to the side, pondering what he said.

“So your sister isn’t seeing someone? Or she is but they’re not at the point of marriage yet?”

An excellent question really. He doesn’t really know all that much about his sister’s social life but if there was one thing that was guaranteed in his life (other than his father being so focused on becoming number 1, he didn’t care how badly he destroyed his family on the way there), it was that come 8 pm on any night, Fuyumi would be at home, grading papers, packing up leftovers from dinner or coming to check on him, especially if he hadn’t made it out of the training rooms by then. He doesn’t think that Endeavor had been making her do this given how surprised he’d look whenever she showed up, softly calling out that dinner was starting to get cold, but for all he knows a rule was put in place when he was young that no one remembered to rescind.

That isn’t to say that she never goes out with friends. It’s just that she always schedules her outings in the morning or afternoon so she’s home by evening. And while he thinks she has both girl and guy friends, he figures a boyfriend would want to take her out to dinner or other activities that generally don’t mesh well with an 8 pm curfew (but most of what he knows about dating comes from shounen manga so he’s not sure how reliable that is).

“I don’t think she has a boyfriend?”

Although that begs the more important question that’s been mulling in the back of his mind.

“The getting married thing…is that something girls typically think about?” Is that something she would be thinking of? Has she been thinking about it this whole time?

He’s never entirely sure what exactly is normal when it comes to girls and honestly, he really hopes that Hagakure’s giggling is an anomaly rather than the norm, at least for the nice, logical girls like his sister and Yaoyorozu.

The energy in the room seems to calm down as Yaoyorozu considers him quietly (likely because this is one of those stupid questions that he should know the answer to), before she finally answers.

“Most girls do from when they’re young, you know? They start planning out what their wedding looks like, who their husband will be, kids,” she drifts off.

Husband? He’s already starting to get an idea of what the guy would look like – average in every way, not the sort to stand out at least. Definitely a civilian, with some sort of harmless Quirk if he even had one. Even-tempered. The sort of guy who puts Fuyumi’s needs first and always dotes on her.

And the children – there would be 2 (though maybe…maybe she would want 3 or even 4?), a boy and a girl. They would be a perfect mix in looks to their parents, one with each parent’s Quirks.

Dinnertime would be a cozy affair with plenty of praise for his sister’s cooking, everyone sharing how their day went, ceaseless encouragement for the children while gently scolding them for their antics at the dinner table.

No yelling, no glares, no insults, no tension so thick you could cut it with a knife mixed with an almost painful silence filled with the unique terror of even allowing the slightest break in it.

The uneasiness explodes and his stomach starts to churn bad enough that he finds himself pressing his basket against it and leaning forward. Yaoyorozu starts to reach for him, asking what’s wrong, and that triggers him to shout a quick “Thank you! I’m fine!”, racing back up to his room with his undone laundry, whatever she has to say next fading down the hallway.

Well, he finally has some answers. They just happened to make everything worse.

***

It takes another couple of weeks before he decides on the next step.

Yaoyorozu tries to check in on him after his abrupt departure, which he blames on fish going bad that he had for lunch. It only sort of works though, so he’s glad to finally tell her that he got permission to visit his sister, if only to stop the worried glances she kept sending him in class. Midoriya has definitely intercepted a few of them and it’s only a matter of time before Iida catches onto one, after which he’s pretty sure he has no hope of keeping this all quiet. Iida in class representative mode is no laughing matter.

It’s awkward enough asking his sister if he could visit. He almost types the request into the family group chat (which mostly consists of messages from Fuyumi and some funny video links from Natsuo. Shouto’s primary contribution is pictures of what he thinks is some of the nice scenery on campus mixed with a rare picture here and there of his classmates not doing hero-related activities, which he’s pretty sure makes a rather pathetic showing on his part but both of his siblings still send appreciative replies, so he hasn’t stopped sending them yet).

He briefly considers talking to Natsuo about it but he’s not sure if it’s the sort of conversation that they would have when their relationship mostly consists of erratic text messages and sighs and shared rolled eyes whenever Fuyumi drags them into some sort of family bonding activity. They’re not quite to the phone call stage and he’s pretty sure that this isn’t something to be shared by text given how the talk with Yaoyorozu went.

Thankfully Fuyumi doesn’t think too much about him wanting to visit home. She offers to come to UA so he doesn’t have to request permission to leave but ever since Bakugou had started talking up Fuyumi’s cooking in front of everyone, she’s become a little too much of a curiosity to his classmates for him to want her to actually meet all of them.

She’s perceptive enough to know that this is a visit where he doesn’t want Endeavor around and manages to time it with a weekend where he is out of town on a team up. She does try to turn it into a sibling bonding night with Natsuo, which he should have expected, and so that does take a little more work for him to talk her out of. Thankfully Natsuo’s thriving social life (love life?) would have made it complicated to find a date to meet and there is of course the fact that Natsuo generally avoids the house like the plague to help him out there.

He still ends up having to promise that they will have a sibling bonding night with food and activities of her choosing. However, he at least manages to negotiate one veto for him and Natsuo each so they can survive the night in general peace.

Fortunately (he thinks), Aizawa seemed to have also managed to pick up on Yaoyorozu’s worried looks and so getting the permission itself to visit was not as hard as he thought it would be, even without Endeavor there to supervise. Thankfully his teacher did not seem to want to delve into the question of what was bothering him any further than an oblique mention about “worried classmates” and simply set up a plan for Aizawa to wait outside while he visited with the requirement that his teacher enjoy some of his sister’s home cooking during the wait (even Aizawa was learning that there were certain battles you simply do not fight, especially with Fuyumi).

Setting foot in the entryway, Shouto can feel the warmer atmosphere that comes along with Endeavor’s absence. Funnily enough, no one manages to win against Endeavor in this house. Everyone has to leave to gain some sort of victory, to become themself – Natsuo to college, himself to UA.

Touya to death, though it’s a pyrrhic victory if anything.

Fuyumi is the only one to be able to stand her ground here and he can’t tell if that’s because her goal was completely different from theirs in her demands for a normal family or if she’s able to hit a level of stubborn that none of her brothers ever could.

He finds her in the kitchen, just finishing up the soba (and the many additional side dishes she’s prepared. No matter what he tells her every week, she remains certain that he’s trying to live off of only cold soba without someone watching to make sure he eats everything else on his plate).

He moves to the sink to start cleaning up. Fuyumi’s particular (or maybe Endeavor is) that the kitchen is cleared up before she starts to eat and he’s lost count of the number of times when she’ll come join them for dinner after he’s already halfway through because of it.

She asks him how school has been, how Midoriya, Bakugou and the rest of his friends are doing and the replies come as easily as they do every week during their phone calls. It’s nothing like those times when they first used to have these sorts of chats, back during his later years of elementary school and Endeavor was gone for the night and she would invite him to come sit with her to watch a show as she did the last of her homework and later on her marking. Back when he didn’t know what to tell her when she would ask these questions and he would have to sit there as she gave him that pitying look he hated while she scrambled to find easier questions for him to answer.

Now he has a running list of his classmates’ antics to share (and even some of his own) that always seem to please her with a smile crinkling her eyes. There are still the handful of ones that make her worried (unfortunately she does watch the news) but he’s learned how to tuck them into a series of other harmless stories to try to distract her (being a teacher also unfortunately means the fudging details plan doesn’t work as well).

She disappears briefly to move the food to the table and the conversation lapses with this. He starts working on trying to figure out how to broach the conversation he needs to have at dinner when she suddenly appears beside him, grabbing a towel and starting to dry his neatly washed dishes. He jumps a little at this and almost drops the dish he’s washing as it starts to slip from his hands but he’s quick to catch it, trying to act as if it was an issue of too much soap more than anything else.

“Is something bothering you?” This time the wooden spoon he picked up does clatter into the sink as she continues to carefully work around the edges of a glass dish with a towel, never looking up at him, barely a question in her voice.

He really shouldn’t have expected that he’d get away with it.

She lets the silence sit. They’ve grown from those early days of fumbled questions and with each second he feels everything that has been building since that day in his mother’s hospital room bubbling up to the surface.

“Mother was talking about you getting married the other day…” Suddenly the little flecks of vegetables trapped in the well-worn grooves of the spoon are the most interesting thing in the room.

He sees her turn to look at him through the corner of his eye as he continues his inspection, nodding in encouragement.

“And…and Yaoyorozu said that it’s something that all girls think about…the whole getting married and having a family thing…” he drifts off, not entirely sure how to voice what his actual question is.

He is not one for praying but he finds himself coming close, hoping that she’ll understand what he really wants to ask, the real reason for why his stomach is churning like a whirlpool is in there no matter how hard he presses it against the counter to make it stop.

Do you want to get married and have a family of your own?

And when you do…what happens to me?

Because that was the new fear he had discovered that day as his mother was becoming overjoyed at the thought of Fuyumi’s husband and children.

Mother leaves. Touya leaves. Natsuo leaves. But Fuyumi? Fuyumi is always there. Even with him now at the UA dorms, here she is, right at home, waiting for him with open arms. Yes, she wants a normal family, but it’s their family that she wants to be normal. Endeavor, Mother, Natsuo, him- there was never a moment when it occurred to him that if they failed to fix themselves that she could give up on them and make herself a new family, a better family. He hadn’t really considered that society had already had an alternative in place for her, and in fact, even expected her to go ahead with it.  

And if she gave up on them…if she found herself the nice average husband and the two darling children…why would she want him around? She knows perfectly well what having a hero in the family can do to it. And they’re all dysfunctional, hell, he had to go ask a classmate to figure out if girls wanting to get married were normal. Why would she want him tainting her perfect new family?

If there is anyone who deserves happiness, it’s Fuyumi. The one who made sure that he was eating, that his homework was getting done, that his bruises were iced after their mother was taken away. The one who would record his favorite shows and sit and watch them with him even though she was too old for them the second their father was away. The one who cared if he got to experience the normal aspects of teenage life, who patiently tried again and again to understand him, to connect with him. How could he ever want to stand in the way of her dreams if in the end, they didn’t include him?

He’s not sure how much time passes as he spirals. It breaks as he hears her put down the dish, the rustle of her sweater as she turns towards him and his mind goes blank because what else was he supposed to expect it to do when one of the very few certainties of his life has been turned on its head?

“Shouto…” She tries to catch his eyes but he continues to stare at the handful of remaining dishes and utensils at the bottom of the sink. She sighs but she doesn’t stop looking at him as she continues.

“I have thought about it a bit…like your friend said, a lot of girls think about getting married, especially as they get older.”

He starts biting on the inside of his cheek. He’s certain at this point that he doesn’t want to hear what she’s going to say next and that he’s going to feel a whole lot worse.

“I was thinking…it would be nice to have a husband…a nice one I promise! He won’t be like our father, especially the way he was when we were younger!”

His stomach starts going into overdrive because, in all of his worrying, Fuyumi ending up like Mother, trapped in an abusive marriage, hadn’t really occurred to him and now he has one more thing to worry about in addition to his existential crisis.

She reaches towards him and gently holds onto his right shoulder. She seems about to start to turn him towards her but stops, letting him look away.

“Shouto, I promise, I won’t end up like our mother. The way we grew up…that’s not normal and it doesn’t mean that we’re going to go the same way. We know better.

“When I get married it will be to a good man, who will be a good husband and a good father to our children. They’ll have a better childhood than ours was, we’ll make sure of it.”

He nods along, his stomach loosening up a bit at the promise.

“They’ll get to be kids. To be friends with each other and have friends of their own.” She smiles at the thought of this and he starts to think that she is going to be lost to her own daydreams soon enough.

“And of course, they’re going to love their favorite hero uncle who comes every week for dinner. Though of course then they’re liable to also decide that soba is their favorite food and I’ll have no chance of ever winning that fight ever again!” The smile becomes a grin as she strokes her thumb over his shoulder, giving him a moment to think about this new future, this one that he had never thought of existing.

It’s a struggle. He still has trouble placing himself in that house, at that dinner table.

“Are you…are you sure…” He finds the words hard to get out still, lodging in his throat no matter how hard he tries to force them out.

She does turn him towards her at this and he goes without resistance. There’s a gentleness over her face that is pure Fuyumi and that alone starts to set him at ease as he finally meets her eyes.

“Of course. You are going to be the fun hero uncle who plays all the best games with them. Natsuo is going to the favorite doctor uncle who lets them mess with his tools and fixes up all their cuts and bruises. And T…and they are going to love you both to pieces. Just watch, I’m going to have you on speed-dial for babysitting requests!” The edges of her mouth draw higher while her eyes crinkle with a different emotion that he can’t quite place.

Still, he tries to imagine it. Imagines those two children (they’ve become almost terrifyingly life-like in his mind, dark haired with flecks of white and red, at least one with glasses and both sporting Fuyumi’s grin and a scary good impression of her puppy dog eyes) running up to him, grabbing each of his hands to drag him inside, babbling on about all the games they were waiting on his arrival to play.

And he pauses, finding himself looking at his left hand. He remembers the special exercise from his supplemental classes, using his ice quirk mostly to create the play structure. The fire had been more for special effects and he had made a point to be careful that it stayed far away from the children. But a child holding onto that left hand…

“You know, when you were born, you loved it when…when Touya held you.”

He looks back up to her, uncertain about where this is going. He’s not sure if Fuyumi and Natsuo have an agreement but he can probably count on both hands the number of times either of them have talked about Touya with him outside of mentioning his death day anniversary. They were both much closer to him than he was and he can’t imagine what losing him must have been like, especially for Fuyumi who had lost the only older sibling she had. Whatever pain she felt, she kept locked up with all of her memories of him, sharing only the crumbs when she could seem to bear it.

“Sometimes you would be crying so hard we thought the roof would come down on our heads and it seemed to be for no reason. And then Touya just had to come near and you would get quieter and then we’d get him to hold you and you were suddenly the happiest baby in the world. We figured it was because of the heat he gave off since all the rest of us run cold. You would just be so happy snuggling up against him…

“So…that fire side of you…you don’t need to be afraid of it with the kids. If anything, I’m going to be calling you even more than Natsuo to help me with them because of it!”

And then…it becomes a little easier to think of them, these two children beaming up at him, trying to swing on his arms as he heads for the dining room, Fuyumi and her husband setting the table, her husband helping to extricate the kids from him while insisting that he sit down and drink something at least before Fuyumi has both their heads, Fuyumi sighing and laughing at all their antics.

It leaves him feeling a little warm inside and he finds himself smiling at the thought of it as well.

“And Shouto,” she locks eyes with him and there is something fierce lurking in them as she says in a voice of absolute certainty, “someday, we are going to have this. But not yet. We all have things we need to take care of first. And I promise, I will let you know when that time comes.” Her voice softens, “I think you’ve enough surprises with this, don’t you agree?”

They’re not a particularly tactile family but he doesn’t know what else to do with himself than pitch forward towards his sister and let her sweep him up in a tight embrace. He feels too many emotions welling up inside of him but Fuyumi is there and somehow she figures it out the way she figured everything else out and things finally settle down as she strokes his hair, murmuring that it’s alright, that everything will be okay.

He’s still not sure what his hero name should be in the end but he know that he’s working his way towards becoming the sort of hero that would do proper justice to all that was All Might. He definitely hasn’t thought about what his life outside of hero work will look like though he’s sure that Midoriya, Iida, Uraraka, Yaoyorozu and even Bakugou will be a part of it.

And now he has a new puzzle piece to fit into the picture and he finds himself looking forward just a little more to seeing what the finished product will look like someday.

And of course, no matter what, no matter where either of them is, he knows his sister will be there and ready to help him realize it, even the parts he hasn’t figured out yet.

Notes:

A few assumptions made: -Rei is getting to know her children again and doesn't necessarily know what all they're talking about with each other. So she wouldn't have thought that Shouto would be surprised by the idea of Fuyumi dating/getting married, especially since Natsuo dating is common news, or that he might react differently between the two -Regarding Fuyumi and the 8 pm curfew - this is more my head canon that Fuyumi self-imposes it on herself more to be there in case something goes really wrong when Endeavor is training Shouto. She's well aware there is very little she can do but at least if she's there then maybe she can come up with something and at the very least use dinner as an excuse to keep training from going long - being an elder sister can sometimes involve having very unrealistic expectations for your ability to keep your younger siblings safe. -Fuyumi also has a knack for fudging details that Shouto hasn't figured out yet - he's seen a lot of the worst of his family but she isn't going to let him discover all of it, so this could be considered canon compliant in regards to what all has come out about Touya/Dabi in the more recent chapters (or we can go with a different version of Touya not wanting to hold his super squirmy brother that he's pretty sure he's going to drop and everyone making him so they can have some peace and quiet)

[rowanwhitethornisbae]

Faking It Chapter 4

A/N: This Chapter takes place in like an hour which was not my intention when I started but here it is anyway. I really like this one and I think it leads perfectly into the rest of the story. Enjoy! CW: Swearing

Faking It Masterlist

“Get up right now!” Aelin yelled at her cousin, her body hovering above his sleeping form. “Aedion I have a math test first period that I'm going to miss.” 

She grabbed the pillow out from under his head and smacked him with it. Her moron of a cousin just groaned and rolled over, muttering something indecipherable under her breath. 

“Pleaseee Aedion.” Aelin whined, fully aware of how desperate she sounded. Aelin wasn't exactly a natural at math, and really needed to do well on this test if she was even going to pass. 

“Fuck off.” He grumbled, and turned back over in bed. He had spare first period, and didn't need to be at school for another hour and a half. Still, he’d promised her over dinner last night that he’d take her in. Aelin had woken up about ten minutes ago and got ready quickly, fully prepared to be driven by her cousin. 

She called Lysandra’s phone, only for it to go straight to voicemail. Without wasting anymore time, Aelin chugged the remaining half cup of coffee, needing the energy boost, and left the house. She knew Aedion would feel guilty later, but it was too late now for his future apologies to matter. 

Aelin had gotten all of half a block, when she realized that she was still wearing Doc Martens. There was no fucking way she was going to be able to walk the five miles to school in these platforms without dropping dead. Just then, as Aelin fully prepared herself to collapse on the ground and fake an illness, a car pulled up. Aelin recognized the beat black vehicle, and the small dent in the front from days prior. 

Rowan Whitethorn rolled down his window slowly, as if he was still deciding whether or not to drive away. “Want a drive?” 

She looked him up and down, than glanced down the road at the miles stretching out before her. Was getting mocked and condescended to really worth a math grade? Aelin continued to walk down the street in answer. 

Rowan groaned and rolled the car forward, keeping pace with her easily. “Just get in the car.” 

Aelin had heard those words from him before, in an ironically similar situation. Against her own wishes, a memory surfaced. She tried in vain to push it out, but it was no use. 

18 Months prior, Aelin Galathynius had been walking down this same street, a bottle of vodka in hand and her cheeks stained with tears. It had been a month since the car crash that claimed both her parents lives. In all honestly, Aelin was less of a wreck than she would've expected. She knew who she owed that fact too, but Rowan Whitethorn was currently across town at a football game with his friends. He didn't care. No one cared. 

So here she was, drunk and sobbing as she walked unsteadily down this empty suburban road. Every once in a while she’d trip and her momentum would spin her around, sending her back in the same direction she’d come. 

Aelin didn't know how long she'd been walking back and forth for, but it must have been a while. The sunset that had torn the sky into strips of different colours was gone, replaced by the blackness of night and a tiny sliver of a crescent moon. 

The alcohol must've numbed her body because when she looked down, Aelin was shocked to find that her feet were bleeding. She wasn't wearing shoes, and pieces of rock and dirt had scratched away at her skin. Aelin found it so funny that she’s forgotten shoes, that she leaned over and started laughing. Deep, wrenching sounds that had her leaning over her knees for support. When she was done laughing at nothing, Aelin continued her stroll down the road, still ignoring the raw and bloody skin of her feet. If she could handle losing both her parents, she could handle some blisters. 

Thats how Rowan found her. Silent tears rolling down her face, an empty bottle of vodka in her hand, bloody feet, and a terrifyingly empty smirk etched onto her pale face. 

She didn't notice him pull up this time, too consumed by her own grief. She did however, hear his voice. Like an anchor in the sea, she felt the tug deep in her soul. 

“Aelin.” He had said, pain lingering behind his every word. She had found it funny at the time that he was in pain. Both his parents were alive. What he could possible have to be upset about. She only realized it days later, after the breakup that had destroyed what was left of her. 

He had been in pain because he loved her. 

She hadn't answered the man in the car. Just kept on walking blindly down the street, bloody footprints on the stone behind her. 

“Let me help you Aelin.” He paused. “Just get in the car.” 

When she hadn't, he’d pulled up right there in the middle of the road and gotten out. He’d pried the alcohol out of her hands and held her against his chest until she had no tears left to cry. Then, so gently that it snapped something in her chest, he’d picked her up and taken her to his car. She was nearly passed out when they arrived at the hospital. The doctors had patched up her feet, removed a small piece of glass that had gotten in her heel. Rowan had stayed overnight with her, and when she awoke in that hospital bed, hungover and in pain, the sight of him sleeping in a tiny chair beside her bed had begun to heal her. 

“Come on Aelin. You’re going to be late for math class.” He insisted, and she snapped out of the unwelcome memory. His voice conveyed that this was her last chance to accept his offer. 

Finally, she stopped. Although a late slip was better than being ridiculed, another failed math mark was not. She sighed and walked around to the other side of his car. Something like surprise flashed on Rowan’s face, but it was gone in an instant. 

“Thanks.” She said as swung the passenger door shut. 

Rowan simply nodded and pushed down on the gas. They sat in silence for a brief moment and Aelin crossed one leg over the other. 

“So,” Rowan began, clearly trying to break the tension. She supposed it was a good idea if they were going to do this whole fake dating thing. “Are you ready for the test.” 

Math was their only class together, luckily, and the only thing they really had in common. It wasn't a shock to her that Rowan would use that for small talk. 

“Um I studied a lot but I don't really understand any of it.” Aelin shrugged, suddenly wishing she was better at math. “I guess I'll just try my best again.” 

“What’d you get last time you tried your best?” He asked.

Aelin winced. “58 percent” 

Rowan gave her a look without turning his head from the road. “What’s your current average.” 

“I’d rather not.” She started fiddling with her hands. She really, really, did not want to give Rowan another reason to make fun of her. 

“Come on.�� He pried further. 

Aelin was fully prepared to lie, so it surprised even her when the truth escaped her lips. “47,″ she paused, “point five.”

Rowan shot her an incredulous look, finally turning his head fully. “How is that even possible, your marks were high eighties in sophomore year.” 

“You tutored me.” She admitted without really thinking. “It made sense when you explained it.” 

She knew it was the wrong thing to say when he stiffened, his fingers tightening on the wheel. A few seconds later, they pulled into the parking lot. 

“We’re here.” He told her, opening the door. 

Aelin waited until Rowan was halfway to the school to say, “I can see that.” 

Groaning, she started making her way to class. Luckily, Aelin didn't see anyone she knew. She used the few extra minutes that Rowan’s drive had saved her to run over formulas in her head. She knew that she’d completely forget how to apply them as soon as she picked up the test, but it didn't hurt to know. 

The classroom was full when she got there, and Aelin took her normal seat at the back. In all the commotion with Rowan, Aelin had completely forgotten that she also had this class with Chaol. Her first with him since the breakup. 

She tried not to look in his direction, a feat that was made impossible when he stood up and walked over to her desk. 

“Hey Aelin.” He said, his hands braced on her desk. She didn't like how short this arrangement made her feel. 

“Chaol.” She said, nodding her head. 

“How are you doing?” He asked. 

Aelin groaned internally and dared a glance over at Rowan. He sat two seats to her left, and was watching her and Chaol with a blank face. Swallowing, Aelin smiled up at her ex-boyfriend. “Fine.” She purposely didn't reciprocate the question. 

“Cool cool.” Chaol chewed on his cheek in a way that had never bothered her before, but she now found infuriating. “I was just wondering if you’re planning on going to Dorian’s party this Friday.” 

Ahhh. So that’s what this torturously awkward conversation was about. She gave him a shallow nod. “I think so. Why?” She added the last word as an afterthought. 

“No reason.” Then he took a long sigh. “I just think it might be awkward if I end up hooking up with someone and you’re there.” 

Aelin’s mouth fell open. That could not have been something he actually just said. She nearly laughed at the absurdity of his comment. “Don’t worry about me.” She said sarcastically. “Hook up with all the girls you want, I know I will.” 

He went slightly pale, but still spoke in a teasing voice. “You’re going to hook up with girls?” 

Aelin couldn't help but laugh and Chaol smiled with relief at her response. Out of the corner of her vision, she noticed Rowan’s eyes darken. Chaol was just about to turn away, when she stopped him. 

“Chaol,” He stiffened slightly, as if expecting her to yell at him. “I have a question about the politics of the football team.” 

He looked confused, but relieved all the same. Chaol leaned on her desk again, bringing their faces uncomfortably close. 

“Would an assistant captain be able to pick someone to try out for the team.” Her voice was quiet enough that she knew Rowan couldn't hear.

“Yeah,” Chaol answered, “If an assistant captain finds someone that they think would be a good fit then they are allowed to set up a tryout without needing permission from the captain.” 

“Thanks.” She said, pulling her pencil case out of her bag in a sign of dismissal. 

Chaol gave her a curt nod, and deciding not to ask further about her questions, went back to his chair. 

Minutes later, the teacher handed out the tests, set the timer and told them to begin. 

-------------------------

Rowan could tell Aelin was struggling. It was obvious from the frustrated look in her eyes and the slumped posture of her shoulders. She was chewing on her lip and looked quite honestly on the verge of tears. Rowan knew she wouldn't cry in class, she’d always preferred to wait and suffer alone. But the odds were that Lysandra would find her in the bathroom during lunch, locked inside a stall. 

The thought of her in pain had never really bothered him before. He’d been too consumed in his hatred of Aelin Galathynius to really mind. But now, after she’d thawed through a little bit of the ice he regarded her with, the thought was nearly unbearable. 

Rowan Whitethorn had never cheated on a test in his entire life. There was really no need to when he possessed a natural knack for academics. Shit just made sense to him, it had always been like that. So now, as he ever so slowly reached for his phone from his jacket pocket, his heart was positively racing. 

The teacher was at the front of the class with his head down, grading papers. Still, Rowan felt like the man had to be able to hear the sound of Rowan’s heart beating against his chest. Once he had a solid grip around his phone, he slipped it silently out of his pocket. 

His hands were sweaty, and Rowan silently begged the gods not to let him drop it. He carefully grabbed his test and propped it up as a shield, making it look like he was just reviewing it. Sitting in the back row meant there was no one behind to him to snitch, and he trusted the four people that sat to his right enough. With his phone on silent, Rowan quickly took three pictures of the test pages and sent them to Aelin. 

He lingered for a moment on the chat, their last texts being from 18 months ago.  

Aelin: Im really fucking sorry Rowan. Can we still be friends?

He’d left her on read and five minutes later, she’d text again. 

Aelin: I need you in my life still. 

There were typos in his next message, his eyes too blurry with tears to see straight. 

Rowan: You should've thouht of that first. Don't call me. Don't text me. I fucking hate you Aelin. I nver ever want to speak to you again.

She’d never responded, but true to his word, they hadn't spoken since then. Until three days ago. 

Pushing that from his mind, Rowan hit send on the pictures. Already done with his test, he used this time to watch Aelin. 

Her hair was down, and she kept tucking it behind her ears every few moments. Browa furrowed, she bit on her lower lip in a way that had his hand tightening around his pencil. With his eyes on her, Rowan saw the exact moment that her phone vibrated in her pocket. She looked left and right, and he turned away before she could make eye contact with him, and then turned back to her test. 

She did almost the exact same thing he had, using her test as a shield and pulling out her phone. She clicked a few things and then her mouth fell open. There were too many emotions on he face for him to pick out. Relief, shock, joy, surprise. 

Her head jerked in his direction and this time he was too late to turn away. Their eyes met and the way she looked at him had the rest of the class fading away. His heart rate sped up yet again, and there was nothing between them but wasteful space. He couldn't look away from her if he tried. 

Luckily, she looked away first, making him feel quite foolish. She began to copy his answers down, clearly making sure to get a few wrong as to not get caught. Although it seemed an eternity, it took Aelin all of two minutes to change 90% of her answers and pocket the phone once again. 

Rowan released a long breath and felt himself relax again. They’d actually done it. He felt a strange sense of pride, uncomfortably similar to the way he’d felt when him and Aelin were dating. When they broke into an abandoned beach house to jump off the balcony and into the ocean. 

The bell dismissed them and Rowan jumped up from his desk, eager to get out of class before Aelin tried to talk to him. Still, he should've known that evading Aelin Galathynius was utterly useless. 

He had barely gotten to his locker when she caught up to him. He was pulling books out and didn't look her way.

She leaned on the locker beside his - Lorcan’s - and stared at him. “Why’d you do that?” 

He just kept picking out books. “I don't know what you’re talking about.” 

She snorted and Rowan felt a blush rise on his cheeks. “Don't play dumb with me. Why’d you help me cheat.” 

Rowan was quickly running out of books in his locker. “No thank you?” 

She gave him a soft smile. “Thank you.” 

He just nodded and finally turned to face her, slamming his locker shut with more force than was necessary. 

He was fully prepared to leave when she spoke again. “Shall we go to lunch?” 

For the second time in who knows how long, Aelin Galathynius snapped the last bit of his sanity. He flipped them around, so her back was pressed up against the lockers and he was hovering above her. He braced both arms on each side of her head and brought his face close to hers. He could feel her rapid breathing on his cheek and see the way that gold ring in her eyes swelled with fear. He watched as her nostrils flared as she took in his heaving chest. He considered himself lucky that she didn't turn her head to peek at his shaking hands. 

“Aelin.” He said, his voice laced with venom. It was then that he realized this was the first time he’d spoken her name in nearly a year and a half. For a second, he lost the ability to speak. But then she made the smallest movement as if to escape his hold, and he regained it. 

“I don't want to walk to lunch with you. I don't want to trade answers with you. I don't want to speak to you. I don't even want to look at you. I am doing this for me and only me. We talk when it is completely necessary. Other than that please, just leave me the fuck alone. You are nothing to me and I do not care.” 

She didn't even flinch as he spoke. Almost like she knew exactly what he was going to say. There was no sign of hurt in her eyes, just ice cold emptiness. 

“Why?” She asked. The word was so quiet that he nearly missed it. 

“You cheated on me Aelin.” 

There it was. The truth that neither of them had been willing to discuss. He had loved her so much that he was completely consumed by it. But she’d slept with Chaol anyway. He never understood why and she never bothered to explain. 

She opened her mouth to say something when someone cleared their voice beside them. 

“What's going on?” Lorcan asked, Fenrys beside him with his eyes wide. 

Rowan stepped back from Aelin as if he’d been burned. She didn't move though. She stayed there against the lockers looking up at him with a crestfallen expression on her face. 

“Nothing.” Rowan said harshly, looking right at Aelin. “Nothing’s going on at all.” 

She nodded her head, murmured an apology, and disappeared down the hall. 

He watched her go for a moment and then slammed his head against the locker, trying to drown out the mindless sounds of a high school hallway and fight the growing urge to cry. 

------------

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[annakie]

Patchy

A little under two years ago I made this post, a chronicle of Patchy, the outside feral, turned inside kitty who took ten years to learn to love being petted.

Today we got some bad news.

TW for pet illness under the cut.

Patchy’s always been a bit of a puker, usually oh, say, once a month or so she’d have a good puke for no reason.  I’ve had other cats that are pukers so it’s not that surprising.

In the late winter/early spring I started to notice more frequent pukes.

I’d decided around that time that I needed to find healthier food for my cats, with Leela, the oldest turning 16, Fry turning 11, Pemily turning 7 and Patchy turning, I don’t know, 12 or 13.  No way to really know.  They already got decent food, but I did my research and had started looking at Blue Buffalo, American Journey and Dave’s canned food. 

Patchy had been on a mostly canned food diet since she went to the vet back in early 2020 and had a bunch of teeth pulled.  Also, as a note, Patchy’s brief flirtation with hanging out in the rest of the house ended after like a month.  She and Fry fought too much, and eventually he claimed the rest of the house is his.  He also still thinks the master bedroom should be his, but, Patchy defends that territory well if anyone else encroaches. (The door just stays closed most of the time.)  I really wish they could have all gotten along, I loved having Patchy out, but both Fry and Patchy agreed it wasn’t going to work.

The food she’d been on was pretty junk-food-ish though, which she did love and eat. But I wanted everyone on more or less the same diet and the highest quality food I could readily get them.  So I bought a lot of cans of different kinds of food, and kept a list of which ones seemed to be hits and misses. (I still have a dozen cans of the kind nobody liked -- Blue Buffalo Wilderness Salmon -- I’ve been meaning to take to the city shelter).

Around halfway into this experiment I noticed Patchy puking more, so I decided to try to stick with her favorite kinds, which, I thought was helping.

But once I was fully vaccinated this year, it was time to get all the pets to the vet.  I noticed Patchy had still lost some weight, I thought it was due to switching around her food too much earlier, and tried to stick with the things I felt she really liked.

Then, of course, Leela got sick, spent two and a half days in the pet ER and almost died back in April, and then it was like... yeah we’re done being afraid of COVID, we’re done waiting.  It’s time to get them all their checkups.

My regular vet was doing COVID restrictions so no pet owners inside the clinic back then, so they took Patchy (and the others) in without me.  I thought Patchy had lost some weight, but Dr. B. sounded alarmed when he called me with how much lost she’d lost in the last year, about five pounds.  He wanted to do some bloodwork for Patchy, and I said of course go for it.  

He called back, sounding much calmer and was like “her bloodwork couldn’t be more perfect.  Let’s try switching up her food, get her on some sensitive stomach food and let’s see how she’s doing in a couple weeks.”

So two weeks later it did seem like she was doing better, I called Dr. B back and he said to bring her back in a month.

It was my plan to take her back next week when I had some PTO coming.  I admit, later than planned... my last couple of months have been mucn more focused on Leela... who, thankfully, continues to thrive.  But feeling like my time with her is running out, she’s been my main area of concern.

The last few days though, Patchy has really not been eating well.  Sometimes she does OK, sometimes nothing at all.  And then puking every day.  I swapped her back even to a few cans of the Junk Food (Whiskas) I still had laying around.  She’d eat it... and then puke it up.  And also she... stopped sleeping with me.  I thought... well, it’s summer.  It’s probably too hot to cuddle.  But she stopped laying on the bed.  She stopped coming up for pets when I come to bed and hang out for awhile specifically to spend time with her and pet her.  She runs under the bed again when I come into the room.  It’s like we regressed to three or four years ago... just two weeks after our two year anniversary of getting to pet her.

So this afternoon we went to the vet.  Getting her into the carrier sucked.  I tried nice methods, then I had to scare her into the closet by running the vacuum, and then pretty roughly grab her.  I have scratches and a pretty deep bite on my thumb which either maybe hit a nerve or is infected, may have to go to the doctor for it tomorrow. (Yes, washed it thoroughly with soap as soon as I could.)  I also hated betraying her trust that badly, but it’s for her own good.  But it was rough.

Dr B. wasn’t working so I saw one of the other vets.  I liked him. Also COVID restrictions are gone so I got to go inside. But after talking to him for a few minutes, going over her history and what changes I’ve made, he spent a long time rubbing her intestines (Patchy was perfectly behaved, at least.)   Then he looked concerned.  Then he said let’s do an ultrasound.

A few minutes he came back in and showed me her scans. 

Lymphoma.

I was a bit stunned for a second so I missed a bit of the technical speak he said next, but it came down to the best thing we could do is give her some medicine that may buy her more time.  It doesn’t sound like Chemo or Operating is even really an option.  I’m going to call back tomorrow and see if Dr. B or the vet I talked to can talk me through it a little better now that I’ve had a chance to digest.

If I can get Patchy to take the medicine, and if she responds well to it... she may have 3 - 6 months left.

If she won’t take it, or if she doesn’t respond, it’s at this point, a matter of her comfort and quality of life.  So... weeks.  And I’m worried about getting her to take the medicine, especially since she won’t even come let me pet her and we just had a huge trust betrayal today. I don’t know if I could take her spending her last few weeks hating me, especially if the medicine doesn’t work.

The vet also told me that... I didn’t do anything wrong.  And we did the right thing six or so weeks ago by changing her food and seeing if a few other things worked. Especially with how good her blookwork looked.  He barely felt the cancer today, he said six weeks ago Dr. B wouldn’t have been able to feel it at all.  And for this particular type of lymphoma... there’s not a lot to be done, anyway.  That made me feel better, at least.

(As a really dumb side note, after I got her home, I sat down to eat dinner and watch an episode of Star Trek to take my mind off of all of this since I’d been crying since I found out, paid my bill, and drove home, stopping at a drive through so I didn’t have the mental load of cooking.  And I’m in the middle of my rewatch of Enterprise.  I bet any trekkies reading this can guess what episode was next in my rewatch because yep I’m in season two and A NIGHT IN SICKBAY started playing, of course, so obviously I NOPED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT EPISODE.  For the non-Trekkies.... the Captain has a dog on board, an adorable beagle, Porthos.  The dog gets sick and almost dies and spends his night in Sickbay.  He does pull through.  But the ONE episode centered around a beloved pet getting sick and almost dying... and that’s the episode that fate decreed I was supposed to watch tonight. I did not.  I don’t know if I can watch it anytime soon.)

So now for the next few weeks I will spend my time being grateful that Leela is alive and thriving and pray she keeps doing so -- I will continue to give her extra love and care and attention, and also I will need to do the same for Patchy.  I can’t even do it at the same time because Patchy will not come out here, and will not allow Leela in her room. 

I am low-key freaking out that there’s the possibility of the nightmare scenario happening to me again.  In winter 2016, after months of being sick, I woke up on Christmas morning and my 16-year-old cat Jim had died overnight.  It was terrible, and traumatic, and I had to deal with everything all alone because anyone who could support me was... well, it was Christmas morning and my family was all out of town, too.  Posting about it on Tumblr... actually really helped me, since it’s the only place I felt like I could talk about it.

That Christmas was on a Sunday.

Wednesday morning I woke up to hearing my dog, Cebu, moaning in pain.   I rushed him to the vet, but whatever happened overnight, it was too late, maybe there wasn’t anything we ever could have done even if I’d been awake when the puking started.  The vet said the kindest thing we could do was put him to sleep.  And we did.

Also I just, JUST now realized that the vet who helped put Cebu to sleep was the same vet who I saw today about Patchy.

But I lost two of my pets within 3 days of each other.  I was very lucky that my job let us have the week between Christmas and New Years off that year.  I had a few days to pull myself together, and I needed it.  It took months to recover totally, though.  Every once in awhile I think about that week and I still cry, though.  I miss them both so much and they both had deaths that were less than ideal.

I remember thinking then “I have like, five years of reprive.  Leela will be sixteen in five years, and that’s when I have to start to worry again, when I have to be ready to say goodbye again.”

I thought then that even after that I’d have two or three years until Patchy would leave me, and two or three years past that until Fry.  And then five more years with Pemily.

Right now I’m realizing that I will likely lose Patchy, very best case in six months, but possibly before July is over.

I need Leela to keep thriving.  I don’t know how I would handle losing another two so close together again.

Patchy is... she’s the one who chose me.  I chose my other cats.  Fry and Pemily I plucked from the backyard when they were tiny kittens and brought them inside.  They didn’t have a choice.  Leela I adopted from a rescue, she didn’t have a choice.  Patchy chose to stay.  She chose to stick around when she realized I’d feed her.  It took years but she learned to trust, she chose to come inside when it was cold, when it was hot, when it was storming, and when she was pregnant.  She chose me to help raise the last litter of kittens she’d ever had.  (My entire Rescue Kitties tag is full of adventures in finding, raising and usually adopting out strays. Lots and lots of posts about Patchy and her final litter.  Been awhile since I’ve done it, though.)

I used to joke that Patchy was my roommate, not a pet.  She ate, drank, did her business, and kept to herself for a long time.  Don’t get me wrong, she was a very good, quiet, considerate roommate and I loved her.  But it wasn’t until that wonderful day she let me pet her that I felt like she was my pet. 

I loved having her just hanging out living in the house since 2014, but the last two years especially have brought me such joy.  I’ve tried to never take Patchy’s trust in me for granted.  It was EARNED.  Every small step forward was a milestone to be celebrated. I worked for every bit of trust and love Patchy has given me, and have been rewarded.  And it was worth it.  Every minute.  Every long, patient year.

Even now I’m telling myself... without me, she would have died years ago.  Probably violently, or starved, maybe frozen to death.  Getting to die of cancer brought on by older age is not something that most feral cats ever get to do.  Getting to become an inside kitty where she’s loved, and comfortable for the second half of her life was something remarkable, brought on by her wiles and will to survive for so many years, bolstered by the food I left out for her.  She’s had this much time, this much life, this much comfort and love that she would have never had otherwise, and that’s something to be happy about.

I’ve watched dozens of ferals come and go through my neighborhood throughout the years.  I feed them, I work on seeing if I can get them to trust me enough to let me TNR them, but even those that I have, I don’t keep seeing for much longer.  There’s one right now, I jokingly call him Patchy’s Boyfriend.  He still won’t trust me and never has fallen for the trap when I’ve tried.  But he’s there most nights when I feed him around 11.  He’s getting terribly thin despite the quality food I leave out.  I’ll miss him.

But none of them were Patchy.  None of them became what she is to me. None of them survived long enough to adapt and decide to live another life.

Also?  I wouldn’t have Pemily without her.  Pemily is literally Patchy’s Granddaughter and that is one more thing I love Patchy for.

I feel guilty sometimes, both because I don’t spend nearly enough waking hours with her I feel, but I have three others who need me, as well. One who’s time is growing short, as well.  And they don’t get to sleep with me, she does.  What a joy it was all winter when I would wake up and she’d be sleeping on my chest.  I’d get a bit annoyed when she’d sleep with her backside to my face and her tail would tickle my face and wake me up.  I’m a side-sleeper half the night and she hated that it was harder to get comfortable on me that way.  She still doesn’t want to have my hand just stay on her, she wants pets and skirtches, no long-form touching.  That’s ok.  I sleep better with her weight on me.

I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will hold, but at least pet-wise, it’s going to be rough.  I’m going to wrap this up and give these three out here a good pet, then go hope Patchy comes and asks for love, too.  Tomorrow is one more day with all four of them, and for that, I’ll be grateful, for every remaining day.