#like i'm holding people who do like and care about me to some impossible standard that i'm not communicating with them

[sophieebridgerton]

.

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 1

-> Part 2

Your isekai trip (or descension, as others called it) into Teyvat was as abrupt as it was underwhelming.

There were no midnight showers of gold and purple, reminescent of the wishing screen you would religiously open every hour or so, hoping to miraculously have 160 primogems to make another pull. No sudden change in weather as Teyvat welcomed you with the eagerness of a golden lab puppy. No sudden meetings of significant and powerful people (vision holders, archons, adepti or otherwise) that would either scorn you or worship you with the zeal of a fanatic either.

No, it was a very quiet and peaceful affair.

You went to sleep in your bed after another mundane day that was more a blur than a memory, only to wake up in the ruins of Old Mondstadt, on the back of a peacefully sleeping Dvalin -- feeling well rested for what seemed like the first time in years, free of the pain poor sleeping positions and even worse body posture developed into.

Old Mondstadt is so much more beautiful than you remember it being in the game, but it was understandable -- it wasn't a game anymore.

The wind sings the haunting melody of Stormterror's Lair as you simply sit on Dvalin's back for hours, at peace with the world and yourself. You forget entirely about the stress of assignments, of deadlines, of examinations stacked unto one another like a house of cards, of trying to fit expectations of your friends and family that you were never made to fit and simply let yourself be.

You breathe.

It was nice.

"All-Mother." Dvalin rumbles from underneath you and it breaks the blissfull trance. He turns his head to look at you, seemingly not minding you being completely sprawled out on his back like roadkill.

"I'm sorry, Dvalin, I think you mistook me for someone." You smile sheppishly.

He huffs, but instead of sounding annoyed he just seemed... Indulgent. It was a good sign to you, who were pretty much at his mercy -- if he wanted to, he could use you as his personal toothpick and you wouldn't be able to do anything against it at all, so it's for the best that the situation doesn't escalate like that.

Then again, Venti did say Dvalin was a gentle child. You didn't see any blood clot crystals on his neck or back, so you were probably in the clear. Worst case scenario, he'd dump you on the ground and you'd have a bruised tailbone.

He made a damn good bed though, you wouldn't mind lounging on him some more if he allowed it.

"You are the All-Mother, there is no mistake. But it is only natural to deny, you do not remember."

He brings his head back and nuzzles you. You quietly melt into a puddle of happiness as he purrs and rubs against you like an overgrown cat.

He was so soft it was criminal. It was like the 'if evil why hot' trend all over again, except this time it was 'if scary why soft' instead.

"Teyvat will remember for you, even when you do not. Your kindness, your warmth, your care - all shall be paid back in full and more, for you are the All-Mother and like any mother, mortal or otherwise, you deserve to be taken care of by your children."

You don't argue, if only because dragons are known for being stubborn. The atmosphere was too nice to waste on a petty argument.

"Do you know how I got here?" you ask instead.

You don't ask about the way back quite yet. You're not sure you ever would, if you were being honest. It just... Felt right to be here, in Teyvat, instead of back home.

In the back of your mind, you quietly wonder if you should feel guilty about not being attached to your old world, to your friends and family, all that much, but you dismiss the notion quickly. Feeling different than what you were taught was normal wasn't wrong, people were different from one another and trying to hold yourself to an impossible standard just because it was the average would only make you miserable.

Your world was slowly growing more accepting towards differences, perhaps in a few decades your emotional stance would be validated as well.

"Teyvat brough you here, that is all I know."

Dvalin huffs against you and you chuckle, a little ticklish.

You both fall silent after that and simple enjoy each other's presence and the ambience of Old Mondstadt.

Dvalin's willingness to simply be, without chatter or interaction, only made your resolve to stay stronger. No one back home understood your need to simply be in a room with another presence, both people doing their own things, everyone called you odd for it.

It was really nice.

"Call me (Name)."

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

I'm bad at naming things and I'm bad at tumblr - perfect combination!

It's a gender-neutral post/series (if I write more), I promise! (Or at least I'm trying my best to write it as gender-neutral, you have full permission to yell at me if I slip up so that I can fix it!)

The term "All-Morher" is not meant to assign a gender, it's meant to compare the Creator of Teyvat to a mother (as I tried to clarify with Dvalin), because mothers bring life into the world and the Creator brought life to Teyvat.

You know, like a mother.

Besides, gods are above something as silly as gender or race *gesturing wildly to Loki giving birth to an 8-legged horse*

I am aiming for a very soft and gentle AU, the terms Creator or Your Grace didn't fit into it at all! Teyvat knows its' All-Mother is an utter softie that doesn't care for religious worship and would rather chill, so its' adjusting to fulfill those preferences -- hence, no grand entrance, no throwing its' All-Mother into the deep end by parking their ass in front of Mondstadt gates and no scrambling to survive.

Just a nice, quiet day chilling with Dvalin.

Fun fact, I have never done the Sumeru Quest and I don't have the space for Fontaine, so that's gonna remain a thing for a long, long while yet.

I don't read the manga either.

We D'ballin, ✨who needs lore accuracy anyways✨

That being said, I am slowly going insane because of the windows in-between subjects at Uni. Who made that a thing? I just want to talk, I promise.

Yell at my bad english, I'm an english major so all yelling is appreciated.

[circular-bircular]

I think there genuinely is an enormous problem in online spaces, I think in part due to the whole concept of purity culture, where everything people say and do online is scrutinized — not just in the case of “Is this person a good person,” but “Does this person represent the values we wish to see 24/7.”

Nobody is perfect, dear lord, and this place is not the place to seek perfection regardless. This is tumblr, home of the go nuts, show nuts rule; tumblr, which is as invaded by fandom and was originally meant to be a pseudo Facebook. People who use this place didn’t come here originally to be activists. And if you did, I'm a little concerned, genuinely, for your mental health and how well you're distancing yourself from difficult subjects and giving yourself the time you need to decompress.

And yet, we keep holding people up to this frankly impossible standard of representing a movement, regardless of what their blog content originally was for. Suddenly, every system on tumblr has to represent a certain Ideal for System Rights! They have to have the right views on system accountability, endogenic systems, plurality as an umbrella, littles, dormancy, fusion, functional multiplicity, parts language, the ToSD-

This is fucking ridiculous. A laundry list of topics that people have on their shoulders, along with every other laundry list of things that people need to care about. Fuck you if you're oppressed in any single way, you need to form opinions on every single one of those things, and if any opinion is out of place, then You Are Not A True [IDENTITY].

Somewhere along the way, many of us (I’m including myself here for a reason) managed to either convince ourselves or be convinced that we need to be Correct in some way about how this all works. That’s prideful and haughty at best, but typically moreso just… so detrimental to healing. None of us will be perfect… and so, when those of us who aren’t perfect are imperfect publicly, we are often harassed or attacked — or some of us attack others, for whatever reason it may be. And somehow, someway, we accepted that this is just how it works.

It's okay to discuss those things you disagree with online. It's okay to look at someone's take about, say, system accountability, or plurality, or littles, and reblog with your corrections and even anger! But you must be doing this with acknowledgement that people will be in different places, healing in different ways, and that there is nothing wrong with that. They're their own person!

But moreover, that's a whole ass blog. That's not a reflection of a person as a whole -- hell, it's rarely a reflection of the person at all. It's just a blog that they can put anything on. Have we not all heard the stories of people who've "Completely Changed" online, becoming people who others cannot recognize? People lie on the internet, intentionally or not.

Even me. I try my best to be who I am in real life here, and I share a LOT of myself with you all. You know I'm a teacher, and engaged, and have the most perfectest little cat in the world. But do you know me? I recently just got to visit an online friend in person (It was absolutely fucking incredible and I can't wait to do it again), and the entire time, I felt like I was just so awkward; I really struggled to stay present and talk more, which is something I don't struggle with nearly as much online. Believe it or not, I am not this long-winded in real life.

Maybe that's not lying, but it's not who I am. It's me being fundamentally different online than in real life. You all see me entirely through just the blogs you know me through. Maybe it's circie bircie, maybe you know my D&D blog, maybe you know me through positivitycombopack, or maybe this just shows up randomly on your dashboard. Maybe you don't know me at all.

And that goes for every person you see online. Do you actually know them? Do you know their beliefs? What they stand for? Why they believe those beliefs?

Or are you just seeing a blog?

[cottagehorror-lesbians-stuff]

me 🤝 han juwon

"i have no friends and i can't express concern about others in a normal way, i can't take care of other people, i can't voice out emotions like everyone seems to be doing just fine, i can't compliment anyone because it sounds fake and impossible and i don't know what it even looks like. in fact, i think i can but i'm just too afraid to try because what if they leave? and then all my efforts would have been useless and i'd end up alone again, so it's best not to try, not to know. what if i compliment you and you forget? what if i care about you and it's not enough? and i don't want to share anything with anyone because isolation is better than taking the chance of you tainting my life and making it impossible to move one once you leave. so no, i don't want to share your food, because what if i miss it some day? and i don't want to feel your touch on my hand because what if my skin tingles remembering it and you're not there anymore to hold my hand. i don't want you to call me nicknames because one day i won't be able to hear your voice and every time someone else will call me, the sound of your voice will echo in my heart uselessly. i can't make room for friendship and community because reason, logic, work and successfully achieving your tasks is ten times less risky and more predictable. it doesn't involve me having to worry about if i'm being a good friend or a good listener, or if i'm funny enough. it doesn't involve me to care about someone who is so intangible and whom i can't decipher because what are those emotions you're expressing? i'm more used to trying to appeal to my narcissistic father's impossible standards of social success. at least i know what he wants, i know what it looks like. i don't know what you want from me. to smile? what kind of expectation is that. i'd rather be told what to do, i'd rather be told that what matters is to work this or that way. it's to be ambitious, or to be a top graduate. social interactions? i only know perfectionism. and it's all my father's fault."

[thesimpsbasement]

Hello! May I request Vil, Kalim, Malleus and Azul with a male! s/o who’s like Sherlock Holmes or William Moriarty? As in reader is very intelligent and stuff

Hello anon and sure! I sorta alternated between the 2 cuz didn't know how to incorporate both but I hope this is to your liking!

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Kalim Al Asim,Malleus Draconia,Azul Ashengrotto

Author:Mod Betty

Warnings/tags: slight spoilers for book 3,5 ( mainly spoilers on book 5) ,not proofreaded yet

Reader is male

Word count:1,300 words 

_____________________________

-The first time he noticed your high intelligence was when you actually memorized every item for the skin routine he recommended you

-It took Epel forever to memorize them all and still forgets some

-During VDC he knew you'd be problem because he knew you'd probably see right through his plan and his concerns were correct as you were the one to inform Jamil way before he himself noticed Vil's odd behaviors

-Vil does care a lot about things being perfect, one minute mistake could end in a catastrophe

-You agree with Vil on that but sometimes you rather study than do a self care routine, maybe on your breaks you could add a couple products but not enough to meet Vil's standards

-Vil did admire your determined to adapt to this strange world by learning about it as much as possible, but what he doesn't admire is your lack of self care

-Sometimes he drags you out of your room to do a proper self care regiment

-Like the one you are currently doing

-" For someone who's such a genius you can be quite a forgetful potato" Vil says as he rubs some sort of cream on your face

"Apologies by I can't help but simply indulge of the common things in thought world taht would be deemed impossible in mine" you replied hoping to somewhat justifying your actions every though you knew it wouldn't

" I understand your excitement but you do need to take proper care of yourself,you may deem this unnecessary but I disagree completely and as your lover I'm even more complied to do this" he retorted continuing to apply product to your face

"Oh how lucky i am to have someone to spoil me like this, I'm moved" you tease,smile on your face

" The real lucky one is me to have a brilliant and sometimes forgetful boyfriend like yourself "

-When he found out about your intelligence he was in awe

-you were so cool and not mean like Riddle and you were easier to approach Unlike Malleus

-Jamil is wary of you for a good while knowing how easily Kalim is influenced but you weren't heartless to use someone's kindness

-Kalim is the type to brag about you like " Look how smart my boyfriend is so if you ever need help go ask him!"

-And he wasn't lying,ever since hanging out with(and dating) you he's been improving in his academics and would always would go to you if he needed assistance, saving Jamil from extra work( which he thanks you for)

-Being in a new world made everything surprise you but also defied the logic of your own world so when Kalim offered you a ride on a magic carpet you were skeptical

-I mean a carpet couldn't hold the weight of well anything so it being able to carry 2 people is already taboo and also how can you control it's direction and spee-

-Before you could finish your train of thoughts and how the pure concept contradicts basic physics Kalim pulled your arm and seated you on the carpet

-The first minute you were nervous as hell,who could blame you, you were literally flying on a carpet!

-After the initial shock the ride was actually relaxing and fun

-You never thought you'd ever find yourself flying around on a magic carpet flying around but you don't mind it

-Turning to Kalim who was looking at you the whole time to make sure you're enjoying yourself, you put a hand on his cheek before saying "thank you for showing me something I would never have thought of" and pulling him for a kiss

-Kalim was overjoyed knowing he actually managed to 1) surprised you and 2) make you feel happy

-Safe to say there's never a dull moment with Kalim

-He knew you were smart by simply observing how well you performed in class

-A magicless human from a completely different dimension did better than most of the NRC students

-What caught him by surprise was when you knew his true identity almost as soon as you saw him

-What confused him was that you were still referring to him as that silly nickname you came up with

-Even if you're smart and probably have some combat abilities you still couldn't stand a chance

-When confronting you about it all you did was smirk ad say " Don't worry I know a foe when I see one "

-Also good luck having to deal with Sebek since he's suspicious of you and your wits. Who knows maybe you were trying to fool the young master!!

-Would often come by Ramshackle and talk about each other's lives

-He was quite fascinated by your life back home,always solving mysteries and how capable you were in dire situations

-He doesn't necessarily need help in academics especially being the next heir of Briar Valley but would often ask you for help with other stuff ((*cough* technology ))

-For a mere child of man and from a foreign land you have a lot of knowledge to almost rival some fae

-Despite knowing you can handle yourself just fine you're still a fragile human with no magic so he will occasionally loom around the shadows,sometimes your sharp tongue could easily infuriate students from a certain dorm,After all Savanaclaw students don't settle arguments with words,but with their fists but when they pull their magic pens Malleus quickly steps in to stop the fight before you got hurt because of some buffoons

-After the students ran off, you turned to him a smile on your face " I could've handled them myself you know, even if they can use magic they're still brainless" Malleus chuckled " I suppose so however I don't think I'd forgive myself if you did end up hurt" he said sighing

-" How about we go to Ramshackle after class for a cup of tea? My treat" you suggested

-"Anything for you ,my brilliant child of man"

-The first thing he noticed about you was how calm you were when you signed that contract about bringing that painting from the museum, it was almost as if you had a plan already and were confident it'll succeed

-Seeing how brilliant you were and how you could easily make things go your way he actually suggested working in Mostro Lounge

-Would sometimes challenge you to see who's better,be it who'd give a better offer on contracts or who'd finish homework quicker

-During closing hours he'd offer you a cup of tea and discuss whatever topics you thought of

-When dating your counseling started coming into play

-After some time Azul started getting comfort with being vulnerable around you, often pouring his insecurities as he stared at his lap

-" Sometimes I feel like you deserve better" he muttered not making eye contact with you

"Why do you say that love?" You ask him ,serious look on your face

"I mean someone as brilliant as you shouldn't stick around a stupid,fat,clumsy octopus" he said slight irritation in his voice

You sighed as you placed your hands on his shoulders " Azul look at me" ,hesitantly he did as he was told,teary eyes looking right into your

"The fact I'm your boyfriend should be telling you enough that I'm not going anywhere, I don't stick with people that I don't want too, so if I didn't like you I wouldn't be sitting in this very room now would I?" You said trying to comfort your partner without any sort of sugared words but with pure logic

-"Yeah I guess you're right" Azul said wiping his tears

-Smiling you kiss his forehead has you bring him into a hug " so please cease these idiotic thoughts for both our sake ,you know it pains me to see you this upset"

[1yyyyyy1]

it hurts so much being told by women that I'm not a victim after I express what this world does to women since the beginning even what other women do to individual women... These women were rf aligned... So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me? Because I'm "blackpilled" how can someone be this vile. Women were enslaved since the beginning of times and all other women co create our enslavement. I've been abused taunted gaslighted punished bullied ridiculed terrorised yet im not a victim? But other women always are?

How can women be this cruel while pretending to have virtue? All their tone policing must be secretly sadistic because its literally oppressive. They are like a curse to me at this point. How can creatures this filthy exist. Women are even naturally misogynistic in a way that they hold women to a higher standards and have more empathy for men. Like? Female socialization is aggressive. Scum behavior. Performative virtue

You are showing signs of genuine trauma to me because nobody who is not severely affected by a problem would react this harshly to it. I interact with the same type of women you are describing daily and I guarantee you that I do not react to their words the way you do, you are experiencing some kind of trauma response. You need to understand that your body is not these women's bodies and vice versa no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise, and that the acts they are engaging in are not being done to you. What they are essentially doing in trying to convince you that their problems are your problems is blackmailing you out of prioritizing yourself with things like "all of us have the potential to go through X or Y at the hands of men" (nevermind the fact that not all of us will go through the adverse effects of voluntary involvement with men, like infidelity, disappointment with your health and body after a successful pregnancy or violation of boundaries during consensual sex) and "if we all opted out, men would take it by force" — there will be no "opting out" for every woman on Earth and I have literal proof of them wanting to risk sex or pregnancy voluntarily on my blog. Opting out is for the select few who want to do nothing with heterosexual nonsense even if the price of doing so is death because partaking in their drivel is death, physical and spiritual, and if they really did care about distancing themselves from it all that much they would know that death is the least you will be willing to put up with. The behavior they engage in is perfectly avoidable. Is it hard? It is, but "hard" is very different from the "impossible" they are trying to paint it as.

"So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me?" — exactly. It is very easy to see that they lack integrity with how much they pick and choose who's a victim a who isn't in their eyes. It takes zero braincells to say "every woman is a victim" and actually approach women with that mindset, and when someone fails to do that despite preaching it over and over again, it means that there is some kind of internal agenda that they themselves may not be aware of.

I don't think they are aware of what they are doing per se, intent requires introspection and people like that are usually too caught up in their heads to do any sort of internal work to understand why they behave the way they do. At the end of the day, what matters is that their actions towards you are harmful and their lack of self-awareness doesn't signify that their behavior should be excused. Both you and me have been at it for years with trying to make these women see reason to only end up being abused and hit on the head in return, so my question is — why force yourself to put up with this? Because of the possibility of them coming to their senses and us banding together in our quest to eradicate male violence? You and these women have a different understanding of what constitutes it; you hate PIV and pregnancy and consider them violating while they don't, which is something they readily admit to, but what is even more grating is that they are not allowing you to express your disgust and exert your boundaries because they are fragile enough to think that another person's preferences reflect something about them as a person.

You don't need women to stop doing anything to get better and I am saying that from experience. What is more is that, in trying to "help" these women or by simply being around them, you are hurting a woman (yourself) which nullifies all of your feminist effort. If you want to take care of an abused woman, you need to start taking care of yourself. I can tell you with certainty that these women are well-off psychologically, at the very least compared to you, because no one with severe trauma is out there complaining about doing 50/50 with their man on an internet forum, they are terrified of men to the point where they can't stand the thought of being near one or are left in a catatonic state and I have seen that happen first-hand. I always say the following to anyone who's ever dealt with a serial abuser or put up with chronic abuse — you have years of experience with trying to get that person or lifestyle work for you, and you don't need me to tell you that the connection you are in is a certain death because it is likely reflected in your lack of productivity, overall misery or even the desire to "cross the rainbow bridge". You know what it is like to be hitting rock bottom and you might as well take a leap of faith to try and distance yourself from it. It is you or them and at some point you will have to choose.

[eventuallyaugust]

21. be careful what you wish for (written)

note: i'm writing this while listening to this (its a filo song & idk what the english song could measure up to the vibe that song gives me)

warning/s: too long chapter ahead, yunjin js too detailed when it comes to seol, and usage of unofficial uno rules; no beta

"are we really going to do this, unnie?"

"yes, and besides, it's about time to shut yunjin up. so why can't we grant her wish with seol?"

two people huddle together while talking in hushed whispers, one looking around for unsuspecting passersby.

"uh, hi? may i ask what you're planning to noona?"

the pair jumps startled and turns around to see a 5'11 foot guy with a knowing glint settling in his eyes. behind him are his two members who are looking at the pair with curiosity. "please tell me you're doing what i'm thinking you're doing. if you need help, my members and i can step in."

the pair looks at one another before looking back at the tall guy. "and what are you thinking exactly?"

he tilts his head, raising a brow at chaewon and sakura. "you're going to trap those two in noona's studio, right?"

sakura asks as she raises a brow back, "how are we even going to do that without getting it opened from the inside?"

yeonjun, taehyun, and beomgyu look at each other before they share a laugh, a mischievous smirk appearing over their lips. "just do one thing and leave the rest to us."

----

"love is sour, love is sour grapes ~"

hyunseol nods, her right hand spinning a ballpoint pen with her eyes trained on the lyrics sheet and her blank expression makes the six girls nervous. "thank you, girls, but i noticed something." she then looks up from the paper, looking at yunjin. "why are you nervous, yunjin-ah?"

the tall girl blushes as she looks away, her fingers finding the hems of her shirt. "uhm, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to."

"may i ask what seems the problem? your voice really seems nervous earlier unlike what we had practiced last time, so we can address the problem." hyunseol leans against her seat and trains her eyes on the 5'8 foot girl who is still fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "yunjin-ssi?"

"i-i just want to be perfect for you, sunbaenim."

surprised, hyunseol's head jerks back with a blink. what? she said what?

the eyes of some le sserafim's members widen before turning their heads to their tallest member while chaewon and sakura keep their attention on the 5'11 foot idol, holding themselves from smirking by how taken aback hyunseol was at what had happened.

you're so stupid, yunjin! what did you say that?! 'i just want to be perfect for you', ugh! stupid stupid stupid!, yunjin mentally reprimands herself as she turns impossibly redder. hyunseol then gets flustered once what the american had said finally sinks in her mind.

"p-perfect? for me?" hyunseol repeats, sounding a bit in disbelief and clears her throat, shaking her head. "what do you mean by that, yunjin-ah?"

"w-what i mean is that, i'm nervous to mess up parts, sunbae. you're just so cool and i just don't want to mess up in front of you. it's too embarrassing."

you're such a simp, yunjin, chaewon thinks to herself as she shakes her head. good thing we'll be doing you a favor.

"please, don't call me sunbae. i would like to be called as seol unnie or unnie. not sunbae or sunbaenim because that honorifics make me feel old", the txt member addresses. "yunjin, we're on the same level. we're equal, so please don't think highly of me. i'm just seol from txt.

"and please, don't be afraid to mess up. that's why i'm here to help whenever you have any trouble. just because we're idols doesn't mean we lost our humanity. you're allowed to fail and try again and most importantly, you're allowed to have feelings, yunjin. don't let others make you think otherwise."

fuck you, hyunseol, yunjin thinks to herself as she tries to contain her raging heartbeats at bay, her ears joining the flustered fest. for raising my standards higher. fuck, god, why did you make her to be so so perfect? and my type too?

"o-okay, su— i mean, seol unnie. i'll remember your words."

the big hit idol nods and grabs her pen, smiling. "all right, let's try that again."

----

do the plan, sakura noona!

the oldest le sserafim member eyes hyunseol's phone laying on the table and remembers what yeonjun told her earlier.

"you need to grab seol noona's phone, sakura noona. seol noona has two phones, okay? one is for personal use while the other is for business use. i heard from noona that she left her business phone charging in the practice room because she rarely uses it nowadays. so, you need to take the other phone, it's the one in the black phone case and believe me when i say she keeps her eyes on that phone. you need to create a distraction for her before you grab the device, or else, she'll catch you."

le sserafim just finished practicing for their vocal practice (yunjin asked the txt member if the group could have a vocal practice doing the final recording) and now, they're ready to head to the cafeteria. chaewon and sakura share a look before their eyes fall on the unguarded phone. it's now or never.

"unnie", the bighit idol looks up from the music sheet and meets chaewon's innocent eyes. normally, hyunseol would question the behavior of the '00 liner, but she has no energy to ask.

"yes, chaewon?" the said girl then moves to shield the phone from the 23-year-old idol's sharp eyes. "do you need something?"

while chaewon talks to hyunseol, sakura immediately makes her way to the phone and grabs the device, stuffing it inside her pocket. when she looks up, she meets the eyes of her members: kazuha, eunchae, and garam. yunjin, on the other hand, is too engrossed on gathering her things to notice sakura's odd behavior, her thoughts still about txt's oldest.

sakura raises a brow at the maknae line and the trio raises their brows back, their eyes focused on the phone as if they're asking their oldest member, what are you doing?

trust me, sakura mouths and walks away when chaewon gently tapped her back, a signal to get away from the txt oldest. the leader then taps yunjin's arm, catching the latter's attention. "come on, let's go. it's time to eat."

"it's okay, unnie. i'll catch up with you guys. i just need to talk to seol unnie."

hearing that, chaewon almost cheers and scream, but she holds herself back and softly smiles at the '01 liner. "okay, we'll wait for you in the cafeteria."

she then meets sakura's eyes and smirks before gathering her members, knowing very well she and the oldest succeeded. the five out of six members walk out and are surprised to see the people outside the studio.

on the other side, yeonjun and the rest of txt members stand patiently. chaewon makes sure to close the door behind her before sakura gives hyunseol's phone to yeonjun.

huening kai, confused on what's happening asks as he crosses his arms in front of him, raising a brow at the pair. "why do you guys have seol noona's phone?"

uh-oh, yeonjun thinks to himself as he starts sweating. i didn't think ahead, fuck. we forgot to tell huening kai. shit, we're doomed.

while yeonjun starts having a mental breakdown, beomgyu immediately jumps into action, leaning against the maknae's 6'0" figure. "please, just this one, hyuka. help us trap seol noona and yunjin in the studio."

sakura starts off as she tries to support the oldest of txt's maknae line, "uh, yes, you see, yunjin likes-"

"- seol noona? we know. she isn't exactly hiding her infatuation very well." huening kai cuts le sserafim oldest, looking unimpressed.

the le sserafim members look at txt's maknae in shock, blinking. "what-?"

chaewon immediately covers eunchae's mouth before the latter could scream and asks, "how do you know?"

"we've noticed from our last vlive", taehyun answers before continuing. "and if we noticed, i'm sure seol noona did too, even before we did."

"yeah, she isn't exactly dense like she usually shows", soobin voices out.

"so...", yeonjun trails off as he looks at '02 liner hesitantly, knowing the success of their plan will depend on the maknae's decision. "are you going to help us, hyuka?"

the txt maknae looks at the phone adorned in a black phone case, thinking over the options he has before smirking.

"give me the phone."

----

"thank you again for the kind words from earlier, i guess i need to hear that. it's been a hard month for us."

the '99 liner smiles, as soft as the pillow and as warm as the rays of the first peak of sunrise. "you're welcome, i can tell that you guys start to feel the pressure. being in the industry is hard, i'll tell you that. you girls will be needing a friendly face amidst of the chaos. you're lucky because i'm willing to be in that role."

"i guess we girls lucked out when it comes to you."

"yeah, i guess so..." an awkward silence ensues as yunjin tries her best to save the conversation, but came up with nothing.

"i better go now, my members might be waiting for me."

"yeah... i hope you and your members eat well."

"you too." yunjin eyes the huge paper bag near the 23-year-old idol's work station and tears her eyes away from it. i really have no game against karina when it comes to seol. she's just confident, cool, and pretty and i'm just me. what do i even have that she doesn't? there's nothing, might as well give up.

"see you later, yunjin."

"see you later, unnie." the 5'8 foot idol bids a greeting and heads to the door. when she grabs the door and twists the handle, she blinks when she didn't hear a small click.

she takes a deep breath and decides to try again, calming herself down because if she didn't, she'll end up embarrassing herself more in front of her crush. let's not panic immediately, i must have just done something wrong.

"fuck", yunjin curses in english under her breath as the realization finally settles in. she's stuck inside with seol, the current subject of her infatuation. her hold on the door handle loosens until her arm comes back on her side. god, why now? why?!

hyunseol, on the other hand, turns her seat around when she still sensed the le sserafim member's presence in the room and tilts her head at the latter's back, the music sheet now thrown on the table with abandon.

"are you okay there, yunjin?"

"k-kinda? i-i don't know." hyunseol frowns at the reluctant response from the american before standing up from her swivel chair. when she approached the soon-to-be idol,

she notices the latter avoiding her eyes which is unlike what yunjin was earlier when they were practicing. flirty, attentive, and confident. her sudden change of behavior confuses the bighit idol even more.

what's gotten into her?, hyunseol thinks to herself and decides to grab the door handle and open it. just like when she welcomed le sserafim in her humble abode.

but except this time, it doesn't open. like she usually expects it will.

hyunseol blinks and tries again, but to no avail. surely the door is sealed shut, leaving her trapped inside with yunjin who is undoubtedly one of the pretty girls the txt member ever met in the industry.

oh fuck.

get yourself together, hyunseol. where's your phone?, her mind reproachfully speaks as she immediately springs into life and looks around the studio, her eyes desperately looking for her personal phone.

the very one sakura just stole minutes ago.

"wait, it can do that?"

"yeah, seol noona showed it to me some time ago. apparently, there are times she likes to be alone, so she often locks herself in her studio while she does songwriting. i remembered her saying that the door could lock someone in and out using her phone."

the five txt members and five le sserafim members take shelter in txt's practice room. on hyunseol's stolen phone shows a live footage of txt oldest member looking for something, but txt knows she's looking for her phone that was in huening kai's hands.

"aw, now i feel bad for unnie", chaewon voices out when she caught the distraught expression over hyunseol's face.

"me too, but it's already done, chaewon-ah."

"so that's why you asked something from seol unnie while sakura unnie stole seol unnie's phone", eunchae remarks as she looks at her leader and her fellow member in realization before she throws one piece of french fry inside her mouth, her eyes trained on the phone screen.

"yeah, that's why", chaewon comments before she takes another sip from her drink. "sakura unnie needs to grab the phone without getting seol unnie suspicious, so i stepped in."

le sserafim and txt have agreed on eating their lunch inside the latter's dance practice room to spy on their fellow members trapped in a studio. it sounds weird and creepy, but chaewon and sakura deemed it being the only way for yunjin to slowly adjust being around the txt member, knowing hyunseol having the nation's best friend persona only need several minutes to strike a conversation with yunjin.

hyunseol sighs as she sits back down on her swivel chair. she's certain now if she wasn't minutes ago. there's no way out of this room without her phone.

she then looks at yunjin who is starting to space out on the couch inside her studio before rummaging the paper bag her manager had dropped. she scowls when she saw two takeout containers inside and two sets of plastic utensils with two bottled colas on the plastic bag near it.

she mentally sighs in exasperation and rolls her eyes when she realized something. her phone is on the table earlier, but after chaewon asked her about something, it just disappeared.

is it magic? no, she strongly believes there is no way it just magically went missing before she got trapped with yunjin because she knows it's possible huening kai is an accomplice of chaewon and sakura with a few bribes being made. the maknae is the only one who knows about the studio door.

hyunseol then turns to the cctv camera she installed in her studio that overlooks the whole room and narrows her eyes while crossing her arms.

huening kai immediately drops his hold over the phone, his action catching everyone's attention. "uh-oh."

yeonjun asks, looking at the maknae, "what? what?"

the maknae meets the second oldest member's eyes and scowls, "we're doomed, noona finally realized what's happening."

hyunseol throws yunjin a glance and immediately returns her attention to the cctv camera when she saw the latter in the state of spacing out. with a disapproving shake of her head, the txt oldest member signs as she clenches her jaws, you shouldn't have done that, huening kai. chaewon and sakura, is this why you stole my phone for? to trap me and yunjin inside? you guys better sleep with an eye open tonight.

huening kai whines as he gives the phone to soobin. "you hold the phone, hyung. i cannot hold it while watching."

"what did she say?", sakura asks curiously, looking at the txt members.

"she's asking you and chaewon if trapping her and yunjin is the reason why you stole her phone, noona", yeonjun shares and gulps. "she also said that we better sleep with an open tonight."

"i don't know if i should be scared or not by how much she is glaring at us right now", chaewon mutters, her eyes trained on the idol.

"it's okay to be scared of seol noona, chaewon noona.", huening kai comments and frowns. "you're luckier than us, though. you guys don't share a dorm with her."

hyunseol then rolls her eyes and turns away from the camera, massaging her temple. getting annoyed isn't going to help. focus, seol. you're not the only one who's trapped inside. you're with yunjin, think about her. she must be starving.

"hey." the txt member's raspy voice brings yunjin out of her thoughts and they share a look for a moment before the korean smiles warmly at the american. "come on, let's eat. it'll take us centuries before we bust out of this room and believe me, there's no way we could leave the room if i don't have my phone with me."

the former opera singer tilts her head with a frown, her brows creased together. "but your phone was here moments ago."

yunjin noticed it, the device laying within the txt member's reach while she and her members have their vocal practice. it couldn't possibly just disappeared, right?

"i have a feeling on what had happened to my phone." yunjin looks at the bighit idol.

the '01 liner then stands up and helps hyunseol setting the big foldable table up. "what's happened?"

hyunseol carefully takes out the two bibimbap-filled containers with bulgogi meat draped on the side, drinks, and utensils before laying them on the table. "chaewon distracted me while sakura unnie grabbed my phone and used the chance to run away when you told your leader you'll catch up with your members in the cafeteria before trapping us inside."

the le sserafim member throws hyunseol a look. "eh? did they really steal your phone?"

"i believe so, because we wouldn't trapped right now." the txt immediately corrects herself, not wanting yunjin to misunderstand her statement. "n-not that i don't want to be with you, of course. j-just..."

"oh, hyunseol's stuttering."

"wait, what?" the txt and le sserafim members huddle together, their eyes glued on the phone screen. and there hyunseol is, stuttering and blushing like a madman.

"j-just that... it's too coincidental for us to get trapped here, right?" hyunseol succesfully plays it cool with a chuckle and a shake of her head. great quick thinking, seol.

"and besides, think about it, yunjin-ah. they wouldn't trap us here if they have no reason, right? there must be something they want to achieve for them to drag my members in this shenanigan."

there must be something they want to achieve..., yunjin lingers on the thought and her eyes widen when she remembered her tweets from the night before. fuck, chaewon unnie and sakura unnie must've seen my tweets about seol, and now i'm stuck with her. great, good job, yunjin.

"hey, you good?" the 5'8" foot idol blinks and meets hyunseol's eyes before they share a small smile and look away, blush adorning their cheeks.

"i swear to god, they're so gay for each other", sakura fake gags. "like you can see how they look shy around one another and it makes me puke."

"y-yeah, i'm good." yunjin clears her throat and looks away.

"all right, here's your utensils. let's eat, yunjin-ah." the txt member then drags her swivel chair closer to the table.

despite being awkward at first, the pair slowly adjusts in the silence and enjoy the food manager yongsun had dropped off before yunjin gasps and the bighit idol worriedly looks at the soon-to-be idol only to see the latter looking at the food in amazement.

"wow, this is so good." yunjin takes another bulgogi meat from her container and immediately sighs in delight. "where did you buy this food, unnie? it's so good."

"manager unnie bought it from a friend of mine. i'm glad you enjoyed it." hyunseol chews and adjusts herself on her seat, throwing yunjin a look and noticing something on the latter's face. "hey."

the former opera singer stops chewing and looks at the tall girl, her awaiting eyes trained on the bighit idol.

she looks like a puppy, hyunseol thinks to herself. she'd make a cute puppy.

the american's action makes the txt member giggle before the latter grabs a napkin laying discarded on the table and stands up from her chair.

"hang on, you have something on your...", hyunseol trails off as she leans closer to yunjin, her free hand holding the latter's chin in place. the soon-to-be idol's breath hitches at the close proximity of their faces, the gentle hold the tall girl has on her chin, and the concentration looming over the txt member's face.

yunjin isn't certain if she caught hyunseol's eyes darting back and forth from the mess on her jaw to her lips. on top of that, she notices the latter subconsciously licking her own lips while wiping the offending smudge on her face.

the pair then locks eyes for a moment, the humming coming from the a/c being the only sound in the room. the '99 liner's voice rings in yunjin's ear, noticing a hint of softness laced in them. "hey, you okay? you kinda... spaced out there."

"yeah... i'm good..." are the only words yunjin could say at the moment, her voice a bit slurred from the moment.

"okay, there you go. your face are all cleaned up." hyunseol subconsciously runs her thumb over the former opera singer's jaws and immediately lets go when she realized what she did, turning her face away with blush dusting her cheeks.

"uhm...", yunjin stutters with a flustered face when hyunseol finally moved away and sat back down before she looks away as her hands cover her face, immediately missing the warmth over her jaw. "t-thank you, you didn't have to. that was so embarrassing, i'm sorry you have to see me like that. i don't normally eat like that, i'm usually—"

"no, no, don't do that. it's okay, it wasn't embarrassing at all." the bighit idol giggles and waves her dismissively. "trust me, you're cute from where i'm seeing you, yunjin. there's no need to be embarrassed and besides, you're a pretty girl, yunjin. i hope you can see that."

"ahhh, seol noona!!!" the txt members loudly squeal and runs around their practice room with huening kai being the loudest while the le sserafim members sit on the couch, stunned.

"t-they are flirting, right?"

huening kai's loud voice fills the room. "yes! seol noona is flirting with yunjin noona! we told you, they only a nudge to start talking."

yeonjun and beomgyu then throw each other a look and share a knowing smirk.

"t-thank you, you're kinda pretty yourself too", yunjin mutters before immediately stuffing her mouth with food, hoping the food will ease her flustered mess.

hyunseol chuckles as she opens her drink and takes a sip. "thanks, i'm glad you found me attractive."

the le sserafim's opera singer lets out a yelp as her face turns redder than any existing red color in the world, hell even redder than the nose of rudolph the red nose reindeer.

the txt member chuckles, her eyes looking at the 5'8" foot girl. "okay, okay. i'll stop now. let's continue eating in peace."

----

"no fucking way."

chaewon and sakura have their hands over the ears of their minor members, garam and eunchae who looked at the two oldest members innocently while txt chuckles at their oldest's reaction.

hyunseol whines as she takes another two cards from the deck, her five cards in her hands becoming seven while yunjin smirks triumphantly, holding up four cards.

the pair just finished cleaning up the mess they made with their trash stacked on one corner, waiting to be fetched. now, they're playing uno with the uno cards the bighit idol always carry with her once they decided that their members won't be coming to free them sooner or later.

and now, from where yunjin is looking, hyunseol is losing at the game.

"fuck, how come you're so good at this?!", the txt oldest groans as she sighs before taking another two cards from the deck.

the txt members look at one another at their oldest member's questionable choice of words with mischievous smirks before bursting out in a laughter while sakura and chaewon facepalm with a shake of their heads, leaving le sserafim's maknae line looking at the phone screen confused.

"i'm a pro at this, unnie. my little sister could tell you that." yunjin then puts down two of her cards which is both 8 from red color before holding up her two cards. "i'm closer and closer to winning, unnie. you better catch up."

"oh, i'm gonna catch up all right." hyunseol grumbles as she places two cards down, still on the losing side.

----

"they're so gay for each other", chaewon comments as she watches hyunseol and yunjin entertain themselves with uno cards.

"what's the meaning of this?"

both members of txt and le sserafim tense up at bang si-hyuk's terror-filled voice before slowly turning around to see the producer himself with their managers, moonbyul and yongsun standing beside him guiltily. the producer looks at the two groups with raised brows and arms crossed.

"i'm sorry, guys. he asked me where hyunseol is and i tried to lie to him, but he doesn't believe me", yongsun apologizes as she meets the eyes of the txt members.

"that's okay, noona. at least you tried."

"where is hyunseol, huening kai?" si-hyuk knows that the txt maknae is aware of the door mechanics of hyunseol's studio and seeing the phone of the txt's oldest in huening kai's hold, he has a hunch on what's happening.

he also notices that yunjin is nowhere to be seen with her members and realizes what the two group did, narrowing his eyes at the phone. "did you two try to play matchmaker on them?"

"yes, pd-nim. we're sorry."

si-hyuk sighs and massages his temples. "it's okay, but you guys need to apologize to those two, not me. i'm not the one who was trapped in there. come on, let's fetch them."

----

"ha, i win! take that, yunjin. i told you from the start, i'll win."

"aww, i lost. that's too bad."

truthfully, yunjin was supposed to win, but seeing the determination burning in hyunseol's eyes make yunjin change her mind and let the tall idol win.

normally, her competitive side always aim to win every game, but her infatuation on hyunseol won over her competitiveness. with the txt member, she doesn't mind losing—no, scratch that, she will never mind losing. as long as she gets to see that wide smile appear on hyunseol's face, losing to her in will always be worth it.

although she and hyunseol only spent almost an hour inside the studio, it gave yunjin an idea as to why people adored and befriended the txt member. the perfect person to be with, why?

hyunseol is open-minded to several topics whether it may be controversial or not. she isn't quick to turn down other people's opinions, but instead, she listens attentively because she said that people's thoughts are what makes people people, giving a glimpse of what kind of person they are.

the txt member is also kind and understanding because like what happened earlier, she addressed the opera singer's thoughts about herself of not being good enough or the fear of messing up. she understood yunjin's fears and made it like it was okay to be in that state because at the end of the day, they are humans first, idols second. idols have to look out for each other in the cruel innerworkings of the industry they work in. it's natural to think like that, but they shouldn't think like that all the time.

the bighit idol is funny too because surprisingly, she has a sense of humor that align with yunjin's and share laughter at the jokes they throw each other as if they share one braincell. as if they made the inside joke together.

and at last, she is a people person. she was warm as the first peak of sunrise, easy to make friends, and an excellent listener because hyunseol makes sure to stop whatever she is doing to listen and lend her ears to the person talking. like the idol did when yunjin shared a few tidbits of her life.

if those qualities didn't make yunjin fall for hyunseol before, it surely did now. not only the 5'11" foot idol is her type, but she also became the opera singer's standard.

like people said, why settle for less when you know you deserve more, right?

"that was a good game." yunjin giggles at the bighit idol's words before she helps the latter gather the discarded cards on the couch. "although i was so sure you would win minutes ago, yunjin."

"i didn't think it through, unnie. i thought i could do a miracle in the game, but i suppose you immediately noticed my bluff and won."

"probably—" the door of the studio opens and the pair immediately gets on their feet when they saw bang si-hyuk standing on the other side.

"pd-nim", hyunseol politely regards the producer with a greeting before she sees her members and the rest of le sserafim standing behind him. she then returns her gaze on the producer. "uhm, good afternoon?"

"i was informed that you guys have been trapped in here." si-hyuk motions yongsun beside him before looking back at the idols. "we've come to fetch you. i hope you guys are okay while being trapped inside."

hyunseol and yunjin share a look while si-hyuk notices the way the pair immediately look at each other. the two idols then look back at the producer with smiles plastered over their faces. "no, pd-nim. we are okay. manager unnie managed to drop off some food in the studio before we got trapped, so..."

"we ate well and played some cards to pass time. it was good, despite getting trapped against our will", yunjin adds to hyunseol's statement, smiling at the thought of the interactions she shared with the txt member.

"okay, that's good to hear. also, hyunseol." si-hyuk nods and looks at hyunseol who flinches at the producer's gaze.

"y-yes?"

"come, i need to talk to you about something in my office." the six members of txt look at one another before the oldest looks back at the producer.

"solo schedule?"

"no, it's code oh." the five txt members look at hyunseol with wide eyes.

"c-code oh?"

"yes, now, come on."

"but the trash, pd-nim." the 5'11" foot idol motions to the neatly stacked paper bag in the room and si-hyuk looks at the five members of txt, the latter immediately realizing what the producer will say.

"your members will take care of it as their punishment of trapping you and ms. huh here. right boys?"

"yes! we'll do it!"

"it's okay, noona. we'll take care of it", huening kai states as he gently drags the oldest out of the room. "bang pd-nim needs to talk to you."

"okay, okay. i'll go." hyunseol then looks at yunjin and smiles with a slight bow. "i'll see you around, yunjin-ssi."

she then looks at the rest of le sserafim with a smile. "good luck on your debut, okay?"

"see you around, seol unnie." chaewon waves with the rest of her members.

si-hyuk then leads the txt's oldest member away from the group and yunjin's eyes follows hyunseol before the pair disappears around the corner.

"you girls really are evil." yunjin finally speaks up as she meets her fellow unnie line members before a smile breaks out on her face. "i can't believe you guys did that."

"so, yunjin noona." the former opera singer the turns her head to meet the eyes of txt's maknae. "what do you think about seol noona?"

"well..."

----

summary: txt's oldest member, oh hyunseol just want a peaceful life after pandemic with her members, but it seems like fate wants to shake things up.

----

taglist (open!!): @curly-fr13s , @neuftaeng , @myothegreat , @yoontoonwhs , @nasyu-kookies , @awkwardtoafault , @osakis-gf , @dream-chasers-things

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[roo-bastmoon]

Hello kind stranger. I like your blog and as a follow up to your other anon I hope it's okay to share my thoughts on why I personally feel Jikook are very much a thing now more than ever with you (you don't have to post this). I trust my eyes, ears and gut feeling and as a mature army I think I know how a potential relationship look like pretty well and some of the things I see Jikook are doing {what they don't do is also very telling} makes me go DING DING DING every single time so here are my two cents:

The amount of shows and Korean dramas they have to watch together because unless they tell each other everything they do over the phone and are into the exact same jokes in at least 15 different dramas and memes it's almost impossible to have this amount of similar banters so I can't help but thinking they spend a lot of time together and we just don't get to see it. I also think there are small signs that they could be living together but nobody can tell for sure but that's a different topic

Jimin apologizing for JK acting up in a cute harmless way or thanking others who compliments him. Basically how they have interesting different boundaries when it comes to each other that goes beyond taking care of a friend: ^Want me to cut if for you? Don't show your toe socks on live^ You need to make him feel better not making fun of his UN mistake^ and more

Interactions that can't be explained if they are just platonic friends in my humble opinion. For instance Hobi asking Jimin why he's doing his birthday live in JK studio and Jimin doesn't have an answer but looking down and smiling while JK changed the topic with dancing, followed by Hobi giggling and hugging Jimin. The time Hobi teased Jimin about JK being in charge of clothes and again Jimin stuttered. These interactions combined with small gestures like JK waiting for Jimin to pass so he can walk right after him or holding his bags or always wanting to do the heavy lifting even in games as an instinct (have you seen this run episode?) speak volumes to me and only amplifying what I think

Which brings me to the neck bite gate, the ear sucking on stage, the thirst trap birthday wish, GCF Tokyo, maybe the initials tattoos. regardless of what people say it can't be denied that no one will do those things for someone if they are in a romantic relationship with another person. No one will stay awake at night to act sexy in a birthday video for someone you are heavily rumored to be in relationship with when you are already in a relationship. it's disrespectful and rude towards your partner and doesn't fit with the people I think JK or Jimin are. I fully believe that this is a universal truth and that is the real reason why haters always call the 4, 5 BIG jikook moments a lie or ignore them like the plague with childish excuses because even they know deep down that you simply don't do that when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend at home. I'm not one of those people who think Jikook have been together for a decade or know for a fact they are exclusive but these instances happened in the span of years. Just saying

Their early days. Jimin used to ask for kisses constantly and Jungkook was very much into letting Jimin win at games, stand offs and what not. I think it's safe to say both acted towards each other in a a unique way that is different to the rest of the members and I find it interesting how Jimin stopped asking and how JK is still to this day is very gentle when it comes to Jimin. it was very much a puppy love that could have evolved in time to a relationship which is very natural in a place of work

The level of intimacy that is different even for BTS standards. For instance JK seeking with his hand to find bare skin or taking a bite from the pizza silce at the similar spot or proudly showing a neck bite from Jimin on his neck and everything they did in point 4.

Body language- the way they turn their full body towards each other on stage, photos, during games, in official promo videos, the way they sit, and even when they are telling jokes tables apart

Their own bandmates and how they look at one of them when the other one is doing something funny or worth mentioning. very much a setting of a group of friends singling out a couple

The people in their lives seem close. Parents, brother, Poly C, even some of their follow list.

Similar views on life, answers, experiences, likes and dislikes. They click too well and there's a reason why there's endless footage of them doing nothing on the side but enjoying their time together

I won't pretend that I know anything as a fact but ironically in jikook history a lot of things become less complicated and MUCH more easier to explain if they are a couple than if they are not so I go by the rule 'the simplest explanation is usually the correct one'.

Yes yes hell to the yes.

What you said.

[angel-hawthorne]

Some thoughts came to mind.

Just because some people don't hit their children doesn't mean they're unruly, let alone lack discipline. Is that all they ever think about when it comes to children? "If they're not obedient, soulless automatons catering to my impossible ass standards that I'll never uphold myself, or displease me in any way, I will assault them." Sadly, these are the same fuckers who think the world is going downhill because adults don't hit "dIsCiPLinE" children enough. Jesus, fuck, these people. They never cease to trip me up.

Firstly, why do you want to assault children so badly? Why do you wear that shit as a badge of honor? What I don't seem to understand is: why do certain people think that kids will run all (or rule) over them if they don't have a violent authoritarian approach towards children? It's like they're swinging from one extreme to the next. Inside their minds, there's only two alternatives: be an authoritarian or be permissive. Nevermind the fact that there are at least 4 parenting styles. It wasn't that long ago plenty of men said the same shit about women, and treated them like second class citizens. News Flash, more than enough of them still do to this day. The same applies to those who hold similar attitudes towards black people & people of color.

In a way, it gives me a bit of a window into what these faultfinders are like. Like why do authoritarians feel threatened by children so much? I'm not sure how to word this. What exactly do they mean by run all over them in the first place? Last time I checked, adults are the one with unchecked power. They project that misuse of said power onto children. The latter party still has yet to learn, process and respond to their emotions and surroundings in healthy ways. Whereas adults have decades of self exploration and practice (or lack thereof) to hone their emotions.

Something's wrong with your mindset If you perceive a small child, who's dependent on you for survival, wielding the alleged power to that of an imaginary tyrant. Again, kids have no means of self-defense, and still has a lot to learn about themselves (& the world). I seriously doubt grounded adults attack people weaker than themselves as an effective strategy to solve a problem. It all sounds like they only care about power and control. At this point, I don't care if this is a shaming post. It's all too maddening.

[alluralater]

Helloo I hope you’re doing well ma’am I have been struggling with self confidence a lot it’s not like I m repulsive or anything I just really hate having body fat and it really brings me down I do regularly workout and I m pretty buff but it’s like I always put myself to such a high standard I do love myself a lot it’s just really hard to be comfortable in my own skin sometimes also being a butch I just be wearing oversized tees cuz I m too insecure to show off my body i would really appreciate it if you shared some of your wisdom and your confidence with me

hi! as a femme i will first start by saying that you are beautiful no matter what. secondly, this is going to be a bit long <3

our physical vessels change. we are subject to internal and external environments- the most notable being beauty standards, the pressure to look and exist a certain way. you do not need to conform to this. having body fat is natural. whether it's attractive or not lacks importance but i do want to mention that instilling the idea within yourself that different standards of beauty exist between different people is important. you could be your peak self and still not reach the opinion someone else is looking for. intrinsic value is everything. things about yourself that you consider flaws, others may find to be defining traits of your perfection. because you are perfect. our physical vessels are works of art, works of mother nature's great feats in engineering. we are living breathing miracles. one of the ways that mother nature has engineered us it to be unique, to flourish when she pours herself into us. we are made to change and encouraged to welcome it. being comfortable in your own skin takes time. afford yourself patience. i am highly confident due to a multi-faceted formula that i will share with you <3

appreciation for mother nature and her effort to create me - she worked so hard. from my dna to my soul, she's done it all for me. like the greatest love i will ever have, she has given me everything without reserve and without conditions. the least i can offer her in return is my appreciation

habitual perceptions - i made a habit of looking at myself with the eyes of someone else. i fall in love with myself each time i look in a mirror. it may sound a bit self absorbed but it's truly the best way to exist. i would run my fingers over the tendons in my wrists and the curve of my waist and become immediately aware of the fact that i am a work of perfection, just as all those around me are the same. to see myself in all small details. i press my fingers to each freckle, every pore, and all i feel is love. i started doing this when i was 15 so it's truly impossible to see myself any differently now

inner reinforcement - i am highly charismatic, i have expressive facial features, i'm goofy as fuck and smile/laugh often even while alone. all of these things are easily seen by others and help me to build relationships while being sincere

relationships - i surround myself with people who reinforce my ideals of how to care for others and how to care for ourselves. people who find beauty in everything will find it in each other as well <3

kindness - practicing empathy each day is highly necessary to my intrinsic value. it can be as simple as holding a door for someone or helping them carry something, or be as intense as allowing someone to open themselves fully to speak without fear of judgment

external - find your style, turn your space into one you love, figure out what your favorite three or four colors are and make them part of your consistently seen environment or personal style. doing all of these helps me to be very happy and in turn, makes me feel more attractive because i am part of my ecosystem just as my ecosystem is part of me

nudes - okay so i have taken probably thousands upon thousands of nudes. sometimes i wake up in the morning and just see myself in one of the mirrors in my bedroom and take pictures. essentially this is to treat my body as lovely no matter the time of day or whether i'm all done up with a fit and makeup. i've normalized my body in basically all forms to my mind <3

i've been doing pretty much all of these since i was young and they are probably 80% of the reason i am so confident today. please remember that you are fucking perfect. our physical vessels are not everything but we live in a world where they do matter to a point so i do understand <3 i hope you can begin to feel confident in your lovely self. btw- oversized tees are SUCH a great vibe

[presleyannn]

spoons - 9.21.23

I've been thinking about the spoon theory a lot.

Law school is an extremely competitive environment, and it's really hard not to compare yourself to all the people around you. When you're in a situation like mine, it's hard to see all the people around you being prepared for class and spending hours in the library studying, while you know you're unprepared and weeks behind on work. I look around and I find myself practicing negative self talk. I say to myself that I'm just lazy and I don't belong in law school.

However, when I'm able to take a step back for a moment of clarity, I realize that not only is that not true–because I want law school more than anything, and the work that I do accomplish is super rewarding–but also that I'm holding myself to an impossible standard at this present moment in my life. I am comparing myself to and holding myself to the standard of a person with a normal functioning brain, when mine isn't working properly.

I find that I'm being too harsh on myself, and that often makes everything worse.

I saw a TikTok the other day of a girl who was talking about how although she's in med school, she works over 20 hours a week, goes to the gym, volunteers, travels, and also spends time with her friends and family. She said "your sign that you can do it all." Someone stitched her video talking about the spoon theory and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

The spoon theory is essentially the idea that every task you complete in a day has a value in spoons. A normal person starts their day with seemingly endless possibilities and a seemingly endless supply of spoons. Therefore, they are able to do pretty much whatever they please, whenever they please, without running out of spoons/energy to keep going.

Meanwhile, a person with a chronic illness that impacts their daily life functions and overall quality of life starts their day with an extremely limited number of spoons. There are only so many tasks that they can complete with the number of spoons they have, so they have to be selective in planning their day and might have to make some sacrifices.

For example, I live with chronic mental illness. Tasks that seem mundane to everyone else, like getting out of bed, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, showering, and eating, take an extreme amount of effort for me to complete. Say, for me, each of those things cost one spoon, and I only wake up with 12 spoons to spend on my entire day (compared to the average person who wakes up with, say, 30 spoons). I have to complete all of those seemingly mundane tasks (some even multiple times a day), AND I still have to remember to take my medicine, make the 30 minute walk to and from school, go to class, go to work, complete reading for the next day, and study, all of which cost anywhere between 2-4 spoons. How do I do all of that with only 12 spoons? Just by getting out of bed, getting dressed, and brushing my teeth, I'm already 3 spoons down. I know that I'll have to shower and eat at least once at some point during the day, so that makes 5, maybe 7, spoons down. With one meal a day I'm already left with only 7 spoons, and I have a to do list worth way more than 7 spoons.

So how do you cope with this? You place careful thought in how you choose to spend your spoons, and you learn to give yourself grace if you can't accomplish everything. You can't compare your lifestyle and your accomplishments to those of people who live life with significantly more spoons than you do.

A person who completes all their tasks, using all 30 of their spoons gives 100%. But a person who doesn't complete all of their tasks, but still uses all 12 of their spoons, also gives 100%.

Be kind to yourself. You can't continue beating yourself up, making your situation even worse. Recognize that although you are not exactly where you want to be at the moment, you are still giving 100% of yourself, and that is something to be proud of. <3

.

Note: spoon theory was coined by Christine Miserandino on the blog "butyoudontlooksick.com"

graphic from @SpoonieSisterShop on IG

[vinetae]

BTS as boyfriends - PJM

A/n: Obviously I'm doing my bias first. Don't shame me ya'll, I've been having all these kinds of scenarios in my head for years now, and I need to share them cause they're just too cute.

Warning: I am going to be 100% honest in this. There are some toxic traits and qualities I think Jimin has, so for all of you saying 'NO MY BABY IS PERFECT-'

No, no he is not. He's human, and so are you. No human will ever be perfect, so stop setting the standard to impossible.

Just as friends(?):

I feel like Jimin would be very chill when it comes to dating. He said in his last live that he forgot about Valentine's Day until someone had mentioned it.

However, I see him becoming a bit more clingy to the person he likes. (It's been said before but I'll say it again, Jimin is a touchy person.)

I think he's the type to bring you along to any of the places he has to go for work. (As long as you're not seen in the public.)

He'd be very quiet and content with you when people are around

but when it's just the two of you, you're inseparable.

I'm talking truth or dare nights, looser who can't do either has to drink, face masks, skin care routines, and topping it off with some Disney or cartoon movie.

Now, if that's all just for being friends (who he likes) could you imagine the relationship???

Actually, once in a relationship with Jimin, I feel like he'd calm down a lot more. Not as nervous. If you were the right one, he'd be very calm and collected, even when it might just be only you two.

Now although Jimin's still a kid at heart, he also is a grown man. So I think he'd accidentally let a dirty joke slip once in a while. Especially when you first start dating, he'd use it as a gager to test your limits.

If you laugh, you're the one.

Late Nights:

Honestly? He'd get back so late he'd already be able to see the sun rising. I think Jimin would have a tendency to put his work before you. And if you can handle that? Ya'll go get married right now, because this man is practically addicted to working. He's a perfectionist, we all know it.

And I get it, he has tons of fans to please but damn this boy needs a break.

So for all the people out there saying that he'll be all cuddly and "yes, my queen?? would you like a foot bath??", sorry to dissapoint. You'd be likely the one holding Jimin together. From his own self-hatred and dislikes he's constantly pointing out about himself, you're surprised he isn't a pile of mush by now.

So, late nights would consist of you staying up and waiting for him to return back. From 1am, to 5 - you never know when he'll be back. And you don't mind. Because you're here to support him no matter what.

He's said it so himself how he wishes someone would just wash his body for him. So, yes. You'd most defiantly be guilted into giving him a bath from time to time. (He returns the favors, kids. Calm down.)

Jimin's battery level will almost always be drained. Especially if he has an album release coming, or is working on a choreography with one of the other members. Though, he will still try and be the best boyfriend he can. Buying you little things along the way to silently say "Hey, I still love you and I'm so thankful that you're in my life. I see you."

But then again, like I said; It'll be YOU holding him in the middle of the night due to his insecurities. His head tucked underneath your chin, as he silently weeps into your chest.

That's a harsh reality check, isn't it?

Living Together:

Now, when Jimin was in a good mood (thanks to your late night pep talks and early morning encouragements) He'd be like superman. Running around the apartment, trying to do anything and everything to repay you back. -even though it's his apartment- XD

Need the laundry done? He's on it. Want breakfast in bed? He's on- Uhm.. on second thought, he'll just order from your favorite cafe down the street.

He'd be really lovey and cuddly throughout the day before pecking you on the cheek, leaving for work.

He's actually quite easy to live with. However, the mess of the apartment had been mostly HIM, even though he's barely been at home. The breakfast he burned this morning still sat on the counter, making you sigh. The laundry hadn't even had the degergent poured in.

"It's the thought that counts."

Special Nights 👀:

Anybody who believes Jimin is a sub, get off my blog right now. I am a PROUD supporter of Dom!Jimin and not afraid to show it.

This man- this man is dangerous.

It started off slow. He'd come home after a long day at the studio, which he'd been with Namjoon to record his parts. You greeted him with a short 'hey' as you set the table for the two of you. He smiled, sitting himself down to eat dinner. The round table in his apartment had been pretty small, which earned him easy access to your foot.

"Jimin quit that"

"Hmm? Quit what?" He plays footsies under the table, I just know it.

You chuckle, kicking back at his foot. "That."

He smirks. "Oh, sorry, honey."

A few minutes go by before he's adding to the died down conversation. Rubbing the side of his finger against his lips (Ya'll know which live I'm talking about)

He smiles innocently (his intentions are anything but), wiggling over to your side to hug you closer.

"Mmm?" You reply, feeling the way his hand starts to climb its way up your thigh.

He takes your chin in hand, tilting it, forcing your eyes to gaze into his. "You're cute." He chuckles.

"Mmm, I know."

"You little brat."

"Oh?"

Before you know it his lips are crashing into yours.

Bodies exploring each other's as if you hadn't been doing this for the last two years.

He lifts you from the dinning chair, as your legs wrap around his torso.

This man ya'll- He loves edging, lemme tell you that right here and now.

Many of these other blog collectively agree on one thing.

Park Jimin is a menace in bed.

Praise, encouragement, and sweet words.

It's really a toss up between Fifty Shades Of Grey, or The Notebook. (Ones in which Jimin has both seen.)

So good fucking luck with that, my dudes.

He'd have you writhing under his gently touch, as his lips roll the most dirtiest things.

"You like it?"

"Come on baby, ugh- fuck you're so beautiful"

"God, you're so wet. My little dirty girl~"

His kisses are sloppy but passionate. Positions would usually include; Missionary, cowgirl and blowjobs.

I think he'd LIKE the idea of eating you out, but he'd be a little hesitant at first. I really don't think he has THAT much experience with girls, tbh. Maybe a few fucks here and there, but nothing too serious. His work had always gotten in the way.

Oh but sitting on his face - hop the fuck on. He'd be down for that any day, any week, any month, any year. ANY FUCKING TIME.

He just wanted you to suffocate him with your pussy, is that too much to ask?

That was his little dirty secret. His fantasy wish, as you may.

Though, he hadn't asked you to do that until you both practically had been halfway to marriage.

Honestly I think Jimin would be the most likely to wait until marriage, though. Is that too far of a stretch?

So, yeah. All in all, don't fuck with the man unless you're prepared to get RUINED.

Honestly I think aftercare would be pretty simple. No special bubble baths, no massages, no slippery oils. He'd prefer not to make a mess (because you'd get onto him and make him clean it up).

Aftercare would consist of a small little wipe down of the spots you'd gotten dirty,

maybe a quick change of sheets (they needed to be changed anyways), and a good, nice cuddling session to doze off to. Him being the big spoon

but during the middle of the night it'd turn into you spooning him. He's a dom, but still a baby when it comes to sleep, alright?

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

Lemme know if you guys want me to make some for the other members too. Peace ✌

[uncloseted]

Imho we need to stop research deep diving into the people behind our entertainment and holding them to impossible standards because you will literally end up not being able to consume any media again. Your favorite actors/musicians/influencers/writer/etc have all done something problematic at some point and aren't morally perfect people that consumers are slowly demanding them to be. Of course it's different if they've committed a crime but I'm not talking about those types of creators here

I agree, 100%. I think people online need to have an honest conversation with themselves about what their actual goals are and what the best way to achieve those goals would be. Do you want someone to change their views or actions? If that's the case, the best way to achieve that goal is to nicely call them in to a conversation about it. It's not to dig up a post from fifteen years ago, send the person death threats, and then refuse to change your mind about them when they tell you that that's no longer their position. Doing that will only push the person further in the direction of the "problematic" belief or action, because at least the people who support that belief/action aren't trying to dox their families and get them fired from their jobs.

But I think truthfully, a lot of people online don't want other people to grow and change. They want to feel morally superior by punishing "bad" people who have done "bad" things. And in doing so, a lot of those people then start doing the bad things they accuse others of doing and justify it by saying that they had to do those things so that the "bad people" would be held accountable. Righteousness is a dangerous cycle to get trapped in.

I also think it's really strange because people don't apply this same logic in any other area of their lives. Like, would I start boycotting a restaurant because some line cook posted a bad take on his Facebook or stop buying from a store because the owner is an absent parent to his children? No. As long as I get the product I paid for, I don't really care what the personal lives of the employees are like beyond hoping that they're, like, happy and healthy and being paid a fair wage. But the minute the product in question is a celebrity, people lose the plot so quickly. Why should any of us care if actors are uninvolved parents or in a weird relationship as long as they're good at acting, the thing we pay them to do?

And of course, there are some important parameters on that, which I feel like I need to say lest I too be mobbed for having a bad take. For example, the Me Too movement was hugely important because it was about removing people with a history of illegal behavior from having access to the influence that would allow them to continue to abuse people. That's huge. I am in no way saying that we should uncancel Harvey Weinstein or Kevin Spacey. Cancelling them removed them from the film industry, which meant that they were removed from the position of power that they held over others and used to abuse people who were subordinate to them. The film industry is safer without them there.

But... do I care that, for example, Barry Keoghan is "problematic" because he got divorced, moved to a different country from his son, and started dating someone new? Is that worth boycotting his movies over? Saltburn was a good movie. Please, Please, Please is a good song with a good music video. I got what I paid for, which is him being a good actor. Me refusing to watch him in things because he's "problematic" would do very little in the way of his son seeing him more. Even if he wasn't famous, he very well might have done the same thing. Would I care about this if he was a guy who served me a drink in Dublin or something? No. So why should I care because he's someone famous?

Similarly, and this is maybe my more controversial take here, I don't really care if celebrities have an opinion on global sociopolitical events or not. The majority of celebrities barely have a high school education. For the most part, they don't really have the educational or informational background to comment on complex and nuanced issues in any meaningful way. There are some exceptions to that (Tom Morello especially comes to mind- also Natalie Portman, Emma Watson, and Bridgit Mendler), but those are also the people who are using their platform exclusively for business and have opted out of trying to be "relatable" celebrities on social media. And if I'm being honest, I think that's fine. I don't really want, like, Ariana Grande's publicist to post on Instagram about Palestine telling me what they think I want to hear so that Ariana doesn't lose public support (not sure if this is actually a thing that happened- just an example I'm making up). If anything, I think celebrities should be platforming people who are actually experts on these topics and sharing donation links for reputable organizations.

But nobody wants that, because by and large, people don't care about understanding any one conflict in particular. They just want proof that their fave agrees with them on whatever issue is most popular on the internet at that moment, and they want to prove that they're on the right side of history. And that's fine, I guess. Like I was saying the other day, I think people doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is better than people doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. The way things work now, at least people in Palestine are getting the aid that they need. But I think it also creates an environment in which the voices of experts (including the people who are actually living through the conflict) are getting drowned out, and it creates an environment where misinformation can spread rapidly.

All this is just to say that I think we need to be more aware of our motivations and make sure we have all of the information we need before we act. I think it's really easy to get caught up in internet hate trains, especially if you already didn't like the person and have been looking for a reason to justify your dislike for them. And the internet makes it really easy to jump onto those hate trains and feel totally justified in doing so. But as boring as it is, I think we have to take a step back and ask ourselves, "do I have a legitimate reason to dislike this person or are they just not for me? If I think I have a legitimate reason to dislike them, do I have all of the facts, or am I going off the word of someone who already dislikes them? If I have a legitimate reason to dislike them, will my actions encourage them to think differently about the issue, or do I just want to see them be punished? What would this person have to do for me to change my mind on them/forgive them? If there's nothing that would change my mind or make me forgive them, is it better to just block them so I don't waste mental energy on them?" I think it's better for ourselves and for the world at large if we choose to engage thoughtfully online instead of engaging impulsively.

[sttoru]

Hi. ✌️ I'm writing this as I'm feeling very low, so I'm sorry if it doesn't really make sense, but I've been struggling with my body image lately. 😓😓

Tw: body image struggles, sadness, negativity, bullying, mentions of being underweight.

For some unknown reason, I've been feeling very unsatisfied with the way I look. I've been struggling to accept my face and body. I used to feel like this when I was like, twelve or something, and then it got better, but, sometimes, like now, I get hit by so many insecurities... 🥲

The beauty standard, for women, where I live is to be curvy (because people love having something to grab).

And I never cared about that until I started going to school and my classmates would talk behind my back about how I was way too thin, way too flat, way too boney, too underweight. About how nobody would ever want me. Saying that my skin was too ugly (because I have freckles and I'm always covered in bruises, my skin is very thin, so it's easy to be marked), that nobody would like to hold me because it would be like hugging a pile of hard uncomfortable bones and then they'd point out "imperfections" that I never even noticed - my stretch marks around my thighs, my asymmetrical nose, my uneven knees, my dimples, my big front teeth, etc.

Having your body trashed by others is so hurtful, even when it isn't directed to me. 😣 Why are these people judging other people on the way they look? In such a superficial way? They didn't choose to be born this way. They are just. There. Trying to live their lives naturally. Why does it bother people so much the way you look? And then they make you hate yourself too, because no one likes having their "flaws" and insecurities called out and made fun of. And the worst part of it: if someone else has the same "flaws" as you, you won't think it looks that bad on them. 😐

Growing up was hard, and I grew to, not love, but accept myself as me. Still, those words linger in the back of my mind. Those are the things I keep on thinking about before falling asleep, while shopping for clothes, while eating, while staring at the mirror. I hate that their words are affecting me until now. I hate feeling so miserable about how I look. Do you have any advice on how to love yourself? On how to heal better from years of receiving hate?

I hope you have a great day and I hope I'm not bothering you. 😅

hellloo! sorry for the late response, i was quite busy :< i’m also very sorry to hear that you feel like that and i surely hope that what i’m going to say helps you somehow. in any kind of way, hopefully.

if your struggles get unbearable, please contact nearby (mental) health care services or friends. remember that there’s always someone out there who care for you for who you are <

first of all, no one deserves to go through such a thing. it’s horrible — that people call others out on things they can barely have any influence on, like how someone looks. never ever should anybody comment on another ones’ looks. shouldn’t ever be considered okay.

unfortunately, nowadays it’s like its normal. i see it every day, people and especially women getting trashed by thousands of unwanted comments from both men and women about their body. being too fat, being too skinny, being too dark skinned, having stretch marks : it’s literally impossible to be a woman, like america ferrera said in the barbie movie (saying the latter assuming you are a woman or identify as one). people will always feel like criticising someone else’s body or face, no matter what you change or try.

there’s lots of reasons for that; some just like to project, others tend to focus too much on the beauty standards that are institutionalised into their brains due to all kinds of social media platforms. you also have some people who love to hate because they want to feel better about themselves; aka insecurities. if they see someone who they think is less attractive than them, they tend to instantly downgrade them to make themselves feel better. it sucks — really does. but that says a lot about them as a person (trash LOL).

so those people who said all of those horrible things to you when you were young, probably did it due to one of the reasons stated above. and let me tell you, all reasons stated above do NOT justify their harsh words. it’s childish and immature to say all those words to you — they’re immature and need therapy themselves to grow out of that mindset of needing to bring other people down.

thus i can promise you that the right (mature) people do NOT care about how you look. the healthy & healed people who learnt that harsh words can easily influence another’s mind for years on end, do not ever trash you for your looks or insecurities. EVER. nor do people who actually realise just how harmful beauty standards are to the average human.

it’s unfortunate that those weren’t the people who were around you during your childhood and i’m sorry for that.

i’m sure you’re just fine. i hope you meet people who love you for who you are, people who love you inside and out no matter what or how you look. there are people out there that i’m sure you’ll meet one day whom will help you heal those open wounds from your past.

but, you can’t just sit around and wait on those people to come heal you. at the end of the day, it’s your body, your life, your thoughts. it’s tough to heal alone — but that’s a good start. slowly starting to learn to love yourself again will bring you all the peace you need.

it’s not a quick journey, believe me. it’s gonna be tough, you are going to slip and fall, but remember that your future is in your hands. not in the validation or words of others: your future is yours and so is your life.

my advice on how to love yourself after all those draining years is to spend more time with yourself. i know it sounds harsh, but getting to know your mind and self can put yourself at complete ease. what can you do to improve your understanding of yourself?

- keep a journal. don’t have to write in it every day, but each time you want to vent — write in it. if you feel too lazy to write, let off your steam in your notes app. or too lazy to type? talk out loud to yourself or voice record it.

- reflect on your journal. think about your feelings — ask why? questions. search for the possible problems behind your feelings. dissect those problems and search for possible solutions.

example: you feel sad again, because of your remembrance of what others had said to you in the past -> accept the situation; understand why you feel the way you feel -> think of those people and realise and accept that they’re in the past and you’re living in the future (as impossible and harsh as that sounds)

your future is in your hands — your future is something that you can CHANGE. the past is unchanging, you can’t undo what they said. you can’t undo the experiences. once again, as harsh as that sounds. accepting and moving on is a life long process which starts with teaching yourself exactly that.

a fresh new start = a fresh new chapter in your life. in your future. your present.

- learn to live in the present. againnnn, sounds impossible, but it takes time to accept this. you cannot undo what has happened nor can you undo that it has influenced you. that’s why people HEAL: you heal from your wounds, you don’t undo them. why? because you can’t undo them. you get hurt and accept the pain and the fact you got hurt. then you can start the process of healing, which you can only do if you move forward.

try your best to not hang in the past and focus on the present and future which lays in your hands.

- whenever you think back to whom or what hurt you, consider the value of it for your personal growth. is it negative? think about it if needed, accept it, nod, shrug and ultimately leave it behind because it will not help you personally in the future; you have no need for that stuff that will only get in the way of your journey to love yourself.

think about it for as long as you need, but make sure the thoughts get left behind. if you do not accept and do not stop thinking about those negative things, they will stick for the rest of your life and only make it more unbearable. (i call it the TAM method: ‘think, accept, move on’)

i know it sounds impossible, but trust me, it works once you get used to it.

of course, it doesn’t always work. and it is not bad to sometimes be unable to, it’s a looooong progress and journey, but as long as you keep doing what i said above — it will eventually come to you naturally. (i hope.)

- self care days! or mental health days, they call it. take some days for yourself, where you do your favorite things and just try to relax the best you can. example; take a walk with some music on, draw, watch your comfort series etc. etc. to get your mood up!! do this weekly. i do it on fridays after school/work because that’s when i feel best. but its always up to you to choose when to do them (can just be whnever you need a break from life).

lastly, i recommend (if you are able to afford it) to see a therapist or psychologist. they can give you the necessary tools and advice to help with your problems properly. it can also help if you talk it out with someone.

i’m always here to listen more to you. always here to help. my dms are also open and i will try to respond asap. remember that beauty standards do not define you for who you are: everyone’s unique, special and beautiful in their own way.

i myself may not love myself or accept myself fully yet, but the more i realise why other people say or do hurtful things, the more i accept that life is always going to be that way. there are always going to be people who criticise you no matter what. it’s a harsh world we live in — a harsh industry with lots of people whom haven’t healed or have gotten out of their institutionalised toxic mindsets. mind you; some never do.

that’s why associating yourself with such individuals will only bring you down. learn to disassociate yourself from them and that includes anything they’ve said to you — leave them to rot away in their own unbearable and toxic thoughts. live your life. it’s yours and no one can change or lead it for you. not their words nor their actions can change your present and future; only if you choose to allow them to.

focusing on yourself and wanting to love yourself and grow as a person gives you autonomy and authority about your own life. take that path and remember that it takes time to heal & accept yourself <3

LOVE YOU!

[leilani-lover]

Alright, i know many will agree with me. And i feel like this isn't spoken enough about.

Make school more supportive.

Better for everyone.

Because someone who suffers for example depression may not be able to do as well as someone who doesn't have mental illness.

Those insomniacs are trying. Stop telling them to just sleep. ADHD and ADD are extremely real and you shouldn't just block them out. That anxiety is real. Stop telling for them to just get through it. They will have a panic attack. That depression is real and should be taken seriously even if someone joked about it. none of these really should be joked about.

Check their mental health. Because isn't that what's suppose to come first? Safety first. If you give us bunch of work and then wonder why everyone did so shittily when they have been stressing themself out just to even try to pass the first test. And when they try to study for the second test they'll have a breakdown from that build up stress. they bottle all that up because they're not given time to cry and relax, they don't have enough time for themselfs under all that studying.

"Well ______ can do it, why couldn't anybody else?" Because they're talented kids with strick and high standard parents who only accept them if they do well in school. Remember you should try to check up on those talented kids, because they too can and will get burnt out. They also have problems. Nobody is perfect.

And those group projects and assignments you make us do? I'm quite sure you know that in every group there's the one that actually does the whole thing and the others just laugh and fuck around.

And no yelling and telling them to do something will not do anything. It won't change the situation. They're still going to continue doing nothing. Threatening their grades? Won't work, they know they're already doing shitty, they literally don't give a living mind of their grades. Calling their parents? Usually won't work either, because that's the millionth time they'll be threatened with that.

And no, you may not suspend them. Because that's not what you got to do. Have you possibly tried being nicer to the children? Have you let them pick their own groups? Have you asked your students about their mental health? Do they get enough sleep? Do they have good homes? Do they get bullied? If their project isn't exactly about the the right subject see how close it is and how much it actually still teaches and see if you could still grade it better than you first did.

And i'm not saying you should randomly hold up a mental health check. Because that will just scare the ones who truly are suffering and trying to hide that stuff. But I'm saying you should try to keep an eye on your students and see if they seem to be still able to take it. Though a mental check up is good idea you should try to get it a bit better and make it seem less threatening.

You know, for some, school is the scariest place to be at. And that can be for several reasons. The teachers, other students, because of the pressure. That's the reason why some students might skip classes or take certain routes. To avoid people they know are not good for them. They try to get away from those teachers who seem to lock them up in one style or who seem like pedophiles or those who completely ignored their signs of burn out and just kept giving impossible amounts of work. Or those who force them to do certain things even if they have shown several times that they're terrified to do so.

What I'm telling you to do is be gentle on those students. Show care to them and let them do stuff their way sometimes. Let them listen to music while doing assignments alone or while reading classes. Let them talk to each other in class. Let them tell their perspective of the things.

Give them different ways to learn. Slide shows with a lot of pictures and little text simplifing the stuff may be for some or a lot of text and very little pictures are the better for some. Some may be colourblind too and it is your job that they too have the same teaching as the others. But you just got to show pictures that they're able to understand.

Everyone should get the same teaching. Nobody is better nor higher than someone else. You may have favourites, but that shouldn't effect how you treat the others. You can't give them any advantages. You can't give them easier or less assignments or tests. Keep it fair. I'm sure you've said that to the students too. Keep it fair. No cheating, no looking anwers from others.

You should give your students breaks in the middle of the day. If you've done that and there's still a few students who don't take breaks that because they fear that they'll not be able to do it in time or that they will be seen as failures. You can be proud of them, but try to get them to take a break sometimes. Tell your students that they can take as long as needed. You don't know what they're going through.

That just was a small thought of mine that kept bothering me.

[mastermatoyas]

One thing that I'm finding a bit hard to articulate, but I think is really important, is that I feel there's definitely been a shift in values in the amount of time and effort people (especially women, but men as well) are expected to put into their appearance.

Like, growing up, the viewpoint I had ingrained in me was that while it's relatively important to be neat and clean, there's no need to fuss too much over being beautiful. I feel like my immediate family put a lot of value on being modest and practical. Taking an hour to get ready in the morning was seen as silly. It was okay that I wasn't interested in makeup, that I kept my nails short and my shoes flat. I think if I took too much of an interest in my appearance, my parents would have actually worried that I was becoming shallow.

Whereas in the past decade or so, especially with me moving to the city, I've really experienced some dramatic culture shock when it comes to how people present themselves. Not only is it normal to spend a significant amount of your time and budget on maintaining an immaculate appearance, but you actually get kinda judged for not doing it? People keep talking about how you have an obligation to "take care of your appearance," by which they mean keeping your entire body shaved, and having an immaculate skincare and makeup routine, and perfectly curled/straightened hair and god forbid you're overweight and it just. Stuns me.

And I don't want to criticise people who do legitimately enjoy doing these things for themselves, but I do really dislike that it seems to have taken on this weird moral element. People will admit - proudly! - to judging other people by appearances, because clearly if you don't get regular mani-pedis it's because you are a lazy slob, and not because you have literally anything else to do with your precious time and money.

The values on display are the exact opposite of what I grew up with, but they're treated as absolute truths, and to be honest, I'm having trouble adjusting. Occasionally someone will be a bit nice and say "it's okay not to be feminine" to me, which I also find baffling because I have long hair and basically only wear dresses. By my own standards, I clearly *am* feminine.

And honestly, I just... don't agree with this worldview. I don't like the Instagrammification of our society. I think it's shallow, I think it easily bleeds into racism classism and fatphobia. I think it holds people to an impossible standard that is damaging to strive for, and I think it gives free rein to some of the worst, most judgemental aspects of humanity.

TO BE CLEAR I am not saying that it is bad to spend a lot of time/money on your appearance. But it is not "taking care of yourself." It is not a necessity or a moral prerogative. You do not owe it to other people to have perfect eyebrows at all times, and you do not have the right to demand that other people live up to your own exacting and time-consuming beauty standards. No, not even if they have hairy legs.