#like if u. if u dont talk 2 people irl u can just say that

[aloera]

that post about neurotypical people being mean to you about your interests makes me so mad actually bc my mom who has no idea what ao3 or discord are listens to me talk about it and remembers the names of my online friends and cheers me on when i tell her ab my user subscribers or comments i get and she tells my cousins about it because its something i care about so now they make an effort to connect with me about writing fic and online servers and stuff and like. it just seems so reductive and cruel (and like. legit just incorrect) to say that nt people are incapable of that. wtf lmao

[sweetonmeclarence]

X

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (killer sans askblog) @killzbitezz (non-utmv blog) @utmv-callouts (utmv-calloutz) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

HII !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i luvv my prtnerz !! @mewobrute @sharkk-fin @glitchy-skull <3 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNERZ <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 5/23/24

[thatdeadaquarius]

SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:

You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻

(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )

Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.

Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)

PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2

So.

You got sucked into a video game. 

Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

yknow how it issss

...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...

which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)

see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own

there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...

the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?

or like the way ghosts look in game?

but a lot more "starry"

like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)

but yah.

you also got just, white eyes.

like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased

you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.

(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)

so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE

i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS

...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy

and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(

like wth!!!

thats just downright unfair.

so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)

...

I choose you, yellow fungi!

...

....

you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),

what'd you expect?? an archon??

..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-

these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing

a rishabold tiger? yep.

a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.

...you also try a ruin machine LOL

by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those

(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)

you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈

its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!

will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots

and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-

forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them

(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)

so THEORHETICALLY-

you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite

... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...

here goes nothing...

♤

so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites

which! worked out!

mostly..!

you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO

they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!

experiment #2: people possession, success!!

now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)

but no one can see you.

you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol

you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)

you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting

:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess

the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream

LMAO

ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard

bc Collei would have def screamed back lol

needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.

Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.

collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)

welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)

then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-

u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )

♧

Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.

he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually

(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)

So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,

having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...

Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.

his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people

after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-

-control humans??

Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people

he answer is negative, on both accounts.

and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments

Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers

...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)

...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.

YOU GUYS-

UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦

??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-

uh cya ig!!

Safe travels lmao,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji

(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)

Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man

[mintsvnoo]

ENHA REACTION TO A FANBOY !

PAIRING maknae line! enha x mr

( hyung line ver, maknae line ver )

GENRE idol x fan, fluff

WARNING|S none

A. NOTE all writings and reactions from these idols are from MY imagination, it does not reflect their actions and reactions irl!

more under the cut !

⋆｡ ˚ sunoo

okay u cannot guarantee me that when u finally sat down at the chair in front of him, he'll not be acting n treating u like ur his gossip buddy. i mean who could blame him?? after rows n rows n ROWS of lovesick fangirls, there's finally a male that is in his presence! will spend like half of ur time getting to know you both, n quarter of the time signing ur albums n rare photocards n the remaining time gossiping about the other members to u. well not like the usual gossip that would reveal there actual hobbies n stuff, just on camera n the episodes stuff.

when it comes to the signing parts, he'll be so careful and neither do you n him know why!?!? (probably wouldn't want to cover his gorgeous face on that rare photocard of urs!!) also itll be so unique n neat omgg, hes not rushing like before when u noticed his hands where moving so fast during signing the girls albums n when u looked at it, it was literally like a child's hand writing ...

now when the staff told both of u its been already 2 mins past time, and that u needed to go cause there's other people (well now all girls) waiting in queue, he'll be all pouty and would probably reach out at ur hands to hold it as a goodbye, he'll be kinda sad??? but not that much, since he knows that you'll be there on his next fan sign, i mean youve always been there! on every concert, on every fancall. don't think he'll notice you hm? especially with some boy he considers a cutie.

⋆｡ ˚ wang jungwon

he'll smile at you, no not the usual smile he gives to everyone but that big n cute smile of his that's showing his smile dimple ahh!!! he'd think that ur so adorable!! especially with you clutching your album like ur life depended on it while smiling brightly while introducing urself to him.

would ask tons of questions to you like whos ur bias n why, will be so happy and flustered that you can't even see his eyes because hes smiling so much, when you tell him that hes ur bias then going on to explain why. now when signing ur album he'll leave little messages and stuff like 'from your bias jungwon' will write it in korean if you tell you know korean.

hes so touched by your enthusiasm by talking to him and showing him ur drawings of him and the other members, literally showing ur efforts just to give him something! and when ur talking hed be listening so intently, nodding along and sharing stories about behind-the-scenes moments from the episodes youd watch.

after you got up to leave since the staff said so, he couldn't shake off your guys encounter!! he was so touched from your compliments and support to him that it was too much to just forget off. oh, how he was looking forward to seeing you again...

⋆｡ ˚ ni-ki

hes smirking when he saw you, dont know, dont care if that makes a scandal, but hes smirking! the flirtatious way, probably be thinking, 'looks like i can attract more than just the opposite gender'. hes not the one to be first to give out compliments, but with you? he cant help it! his tongue is just slipping out truths coming straight from the heart.

hes going to question u like jungwon, 'who is ur bias?' but if it's not him he'll be so pouty, for example when you answered heeseung, he'll be like why? and when u say hes handsome he'll be pointing to himself and say what about me? am i more handsome then him? like boy, know ur limits, jk jk.

he'll be so impressed by ur pencil drawing of him, and seeing the effort on your handmade gifts makes his heart flutter, and his cheek a hue pink! maybe you'll be the one that inspires him to draw!!!

but boy hes a BIG tease when you're talking to him and suddenly stutter because ur flustered on the way hes looking at you with such interest!! like i said he can help it!! and when its time for you to leave, he'll give you a flying kiss BUT like when he touch his lips with his hand he'll quickly get the flying kiss to ur lips!!! while saying that he'll be looking forward on seeing u again enjoying the way your covering ur lips with your hands with a shock face not believing that his hand just touched your lips!!

[psiirockin]

do you have any advice for opening commissions? i feel like you have them very professionally set up, and i have pretty bad social anxiety, so it might be helpful to hear tips for communicating with customers and such, or setting up a fair tos!

hi so, maybe i do have some advice!!! <33 thank you so so much for the kindness & seeing me as professional lol i’ve been doing comms for 2-3 years and i must say.. still getting the hang of a lot of things. you go through a lot of trial + error trying to figure out what works best for you, so remember theres no truly right way to go about comms! they should all fit the needs, pace, and benefit of you and your work ethic!

what i did personally is start off at some lower prices just to test the waters and get the ball rolling. i priced rendered characters at i think, $24 per character? possibly lower, i cant quite remember. and then i gradually went up as i started to progress in my art style more + had more people coming in.

with customers, i have a lot of anxiety as well! im autistic, so i never like making a customer feel like i dont truly care abt the commission by accidentally sounding too flat or anything. i tend to RLLY overthink it lol so we make sure we are extra talkative + kind about their comm! giving them compliments on the character, showing genuine excitement so they know theyre in good hands! (we love engaging esp when the customer seems VERY excited or enthusiastic abt the commission!)

a lot of irl turmoil tends to happen in our life which can make a comm delayed sometimes. could be severe mental health problems, just being busy w/ shit in general. its important to just keep your customers up to date, especially if its going to take a realllyyy long time or the customer likes frequent updates.

i used to be able to get shit done in like a night. but, with an actual line up/queue of comm work we progressively started taking longer and longer esp as we transitioned from a teenager starting out and into a busy adult with persistent mental health issues. (plus our art becomes more complex as time goes on, so that has to be taken into account) tbhs, depending on your availability and how much effort goes into your work, and as the demand grows, you need to charge accordingly and just be honest with your clientele.

as for TOS do what makes you comfortable! make your limits known and put your foot down when a request or any topic makes you uncomfortable. dont let your customers get inappropriate with you or try to make you feel bad if they dont wanna pay for what they ask for, etc. i also recommend requesting payment after sketch/half and half when starting out just so you can get some experience under your belt + assure future clients that youre professional n wont scam them! (if you plan on switching to payment upfront in the future)

just remember that u are not a machine, you are a human being making art for someone else. putting love n effort into your craft, time and effort. take your time getting the hang of comm stuff, things dont have to be perfect in your setup at first.

[sleepy-vix]

journal/braindump 26/3/24

i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.

i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time

for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living

i wish to keep on living

tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something

i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long

autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.

i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.

i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.

fyi the books comprise of

- the complete collection of jane austen

- the complete collection of sherlock holmes

- the poppy war

- the iliad

- hamlet

- the metamorphosis

soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner

i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do

MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)

anywaysss next topic

ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable

ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭

also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(

hmm what else is there to say

oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...

oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...

also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !

i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg

i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)

also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)

also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...

lol

anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀

hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!

no refunds :}

[scoonsalicious]

Mother Pookie has fed her kitties well🩷🩷. There’s so many emotions idk which one i should talk about first?😭😂

BUT DANG chap 2.2 is just HOT

I am actually speechless😂 I have nothing to say except I am satisfied.

ITS SO GOOD OMG POOKIE? WHAT R U DOING TO ME? WHATT?!!😫😫

Lemme say, It didn’t take me long to hate Lilian. Like I swear, the moment she fucking said that Major looks like a SKANK gurl, fuck u.

My first impression on Major was like how Bucky saw her, a hot pretty dame that made me giggle like a teenager, making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)

And then throughout the chp, oh my goodness, I would’ve slap Leah the moment she starts bitching up. Major has a dang ass patience. I couldn’t.

THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO VOTE FOR BUCKYBABY TO BREAK HER HEART IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE (so far she’s 35% in my ‘dead’ list, better fix ur attitude if u don wanna end up like cunthage — ITS JUST BEEN 2 CHP?!)

Lindsay rubs the ick on me more than Jade (ofc Jade is worse but she dead now) but cuntly is so so so so so so so so so irritating. The absolute pick me, so called ‘one of the guys’. Ew. Even half of the team is irked by her attitude. That just says a lot.

Glad that our queen Major put her in her place. She needs more. Like, absolute humiliation (disclaimer: i dont support bullying but LILIAN FUCKING NEEDS IT)

And can we appreciate Wanda simping over Thor?😂 (you are not alone, i also dream of licking his abs — mhmmm)

Bucky and Major are purrrfect for each other. Its giving love at first sight 👀. Bucky simps hard. Like so hard. I can wait for more Bucky X Major scene (fluff,sexay — mayyybeeeee angst? i just love hurt myself)

Also, iMajor and Tony r absolutely gonna be ‘rich business badass besties’ and then them + Sam (Wanda and Nat at the back) roasting Leah. Oh what a beautiful dream~

Anyways, beautiful beautiful writing indeed. Waiting to see Bucky sexay POV next😂 Unleash the power of your blue balls. Also I can’t wait to read what your master brain had planned🌚. Love you Pookie🩷🩷🩷

PS// these past few days I was scrolling tumblr, searching for new Bucky fics/updates and honestly… I MISSED YOUU!!! I CANNOT STRESSED THAT ENOUGH!!! 😭 seeing your username the first thing when i opened tumblr made my night! i was planning on listening to songs, dwelling on my loneliness and delulu but LOOK AT ME NOW, ITS 4AM GOSH. THANK U POOKIE LOVE U HAVE A GREAT DAY

POOKIE! <3

Actual footage of me coming up to love on your comments:

I'm so glad people are enjoying 2.2! I gotta be real, I usually don't get hot and bothered when it comes time write smut, but that section? Whoa, boy... that section had me like:

(Yes, this is my second favorite gif of all time, and I will use Blanche to express my hot and bothered-ness whenever I can, lol)

I gotta tell you right now, the phrase "making heart eyes and singing the whole world to my dick (if i have a dick)" is now the highlight of my week, so I thank you for this. It's pure literary magic <3

Major is used to taking shit from peons; she was a woman in the military, after all, lol, which is why she's able to not let Lily phase her too much. Her patience will be tested, though. Where Cunthrage was just flat out unhinged, Lizard is more... selfishly insidious? Just, you know, she's not going to be kidnapping people and snapping their arms or murderously rampaging through Hydra bases or anything. (The stakes here are much, much lower, lol. Which, I guess, is going to prep us for Unbroken, where the stakes will be... Thanos-sized, lol.) I think what makes Lily feel worse, to me, is that she's far more realistic than Jade was. Like, I know girls like Lily irl; thankfully, never met a Jade (phew!). Much like Killgrave, to me, is the scariest Marvel villain, because I've encountered so many men like him in the real world.

The things I dream of doing to Thor would probably get me put on a list if he was a real person and not a fictional character, lol. Unless I'm doing AUs, I tend to stick with canon-pairings, but there is something about the idea of Wanda/Thor that I currently find very appealing, so hopefully, we will see something happen between the two of them. I think they would be adorable. And for some reason known only to my maker, I love making Wanda a little bit horny, lol. In fact, an earlier draft of Unwanted had Pocket referring to her as the Sokovian Horndog after she made some comments about Bucky's body, lol.

Is it weird that I don't plan on having Tony be too involved in this fic, because I feel like giving him a friendship with Major is like him cheating on his friendship with Pocket? That makes no sense whatsoever, lol, but I'm so protective of my girl. I'm like "Yeah, Major, I'll let you fuck Pocket's boyfriend, Bucky, but YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER PSUEDO-BROTHER TONY BECAUSE HE IS HERS!"

Bucky's got some sexy POV in the next sextion (see what I did there? lol) but there's going to be so much more smut in this one than Unwanted. It just feels right, lol.

[v-anrouge]

Answer some or all, I want to know more about you 👀 that wasn’t the right emoji but oh well I’m using voice to text

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1- actually yeah but theyre super super super light so u can barely see them

2- coffee, i hate tea. i drink it with milk and sugar

3- more KDA

4- side, shrimping

5- yes:3 rook vil and my childhood plush

6- drawing

7- one, and it has to be thin

8- DONT DO THID TO ME I CANT DECIDE

9- june 19

10- 5'3 💀

11- very dark brown

12- all my mooties

13- abandonment, forests, insects, worm like things, heaven, dogs

14- blue and purple

15- winter 100%

16- yes! maybe of a deer, not realistic tho

17- i want all my piercings back my mom made me take them off so now im only left w my bites and the cheek ones😔

18- my mother

19- my lesbian irl :3 like two years?

20- peace

21- okay-ish

22- like 4 or 5?

23- i don't care for them

24- like 1 hour ago, obey me 💀

25- i don't think there are decades to be celebrated humans are evil in all of them

26- cute things, children movies and cartoons, they make me happy

27- i haven't read in LONG because books in brazil are way more expensive than i can afford

28- okay i think

29- yes😭

30- getting a job that i actually like

31- moving with my irl

32- to my irl's house :3

33- locked shut

34- oleanders!

35- nope

36- HATE IT

37- CATSSS

38- insects, worm like things..i think that's it?

39- yeah💀

40- no, but also yes, i dislike beaches because in there's always those fucking sand dollars , i prefer it sunny because the water is cold

41- GUMBALL!!!

42- I CANT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANYONE SAD FOR NOT BEING HERE

43- two older brothers

44- my irl

45- my irl...

46- distract myself and talk to people i like (usually my irl)

47- no i havent 😭

48- my irl <3

49- it's a fight between me and my mom id rather not, sorry

50- I have absolutely no idea what to ask tbh😭 uhmm i guess id like to ask why so many ppl like me

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

Not your post saying pisces sun men are addicted to porn omg I’m dead. This guy I was texting before and sent nudes to is a pisces sun and he was so obsessed.. one day all he did was look at one of my photos and … THREE TIMES 💀💀 pisces have no boundaries and can really get lost in their vices 😬😬

Warning - A rant on Pisces Sun Men.

Tw: If you like pisces men don't read lol

Omg- I am so so sorry😀 everytime I read stories about pisces men this is my exact reaction : 🫢😀🤢🤬💀

It goes from "umm what" to "WHAT THE FUCK" real quick.

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS TRAUMATIZING THO

Every. Single. Pisces. Sun. Man. I've. Met. IS TRASH. Literally no other zodiac sign could compare to pisces mens level of disgust

They weirdly love bomb and act like hoes and then become obsessed and clingy with u while they are acting like the most disgusting man hoes ever??? Make it make sense.

The things I COULD TELL YOU ABOUT HOW THEY'VE TRAUMATIZED ME AND EVERYONE IK CHILE

My friends mom is divorced from a pisces sun man who would regularly phone sex workers and masturbate to underage girls on porn....💀💀🤢🤢

My previous crush love bombed me only to fuck a bunch of other girls and continuously try to love bomb me again after???

THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE WANDERING EYE IN RELATIONSHIPS OMG, one tried to hide the fact he had a girlfriend of 2 YEARS with me during the talking stages.

Honestly a lot of them act like they treat women nicely only to get in a relationship and treat them horribly from what I've seen. Its like if you dont live up to their imposed fantasies of you they get aggressive and MEAN as they constantly threaten to leave you while cheating at the same time. Its fucked up dude.

Master Manipulators? A Pisces sun man

A guilt-tripping gaslighting WHORE - a Pisces sun man

The sign that cheats the most imo? - A Pisces sun man

They always act soooo innocent and caring like they'd never harm a fly BUT THEN TURN OUT TO BE THE MOST FUCKED UP PEOPLE I SWEAR.

Like they keep their secrets A SECRET because they're so awful.

Its so bad- people shit on mutable sign men a lot but pisces men are the worst OF THE WORST. And its also because they play dumb and get away with everything because everyone seems to view them as sweet or innocent??? But naurr they are dirtier than the sewers my friend.

Honestly a lot of them have deranged sexual fantasies and can't control or even realize their way of imposing their fantasies onto other people making us SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE WORD NO? as soon as you deny them anything they automatically make it your fault. Because they act ENTITLED you should do whatever for them because they "love" you so much. The behavior I've witnessed from them makes me SICK

Whenever news of a celebrity cheating pops up they ALWAYS have pisces placements

Adam Levine, Justin Bieber, Tristan Thompson, Zayn Malik (pisces rising).

I could GO ON about how many men with pisces placements cheat its seriously ridiculous and it happens irl and not just hollywood too like they cheat as if they'd never live again or smth??

Honestly, All of the Pisces sun men I've come to know or have heard about are either the worst fuckboys ever or Should be in jail 100%

Not even kidding.

[stars4-max]

Reasons why I think I'm certain character from twisted wonderland.... under the cut

tw — talks of starvation, isolation, death, abandonment, underlining stalking, horror, bullying... not talking of these by a lot but there are mentions so heres your warning

Idia, Malleus, Riddle, Rook, Azul

1. Idia Shroud

❝ Hey. ...So, uh, can I go now? ❜❜

— Okay hear me out. Listen. If you knew me personally or even if you don't I think you'd realize just how often I don't leave my room or go outside even if i want to

— I'm relatively always on the internet reading, playing games, drawing, watching YouTube, yknow.

— I don't go to sleep at reasonable times even when I say goodnight and if it weren't for the fact I'm tired 24/7 with no real energy I would NOT be sleeping in for even an hour. ((which happens anyway sometimes))

— I dislike irl interactions (unless I trust u a bunch) and I honestly try to avoid it as much as I can.

— I'm only /open/ to close friends(who I will see as family), my partner, or my cousin and I'd let them enter my space with no consequences

— I forget when I should eat and just avoid it whenever I can/want to because of personal reasons.

— Sometimes I forget to care for my hygiene ((dw I shower everyday when I have the will to stand))

— I put myself down faster than you can blink or I keep calling people names ((none offensive, think like... idk, tree or smth.)) to hype myself up

— I really.. and I mean really.. have a lot of family oriented trauma and if I could I would genuinely make a robotic family of how my family was before to me.

— that's not it but it gets more personal as I go on so erm

— #1

2. Malleus Draconia

❝ You aren't afraid of me. But I'm starting to become afraid...of losing you. ❜❜

— Now. Hear me out. #2

— For some reason, when I would ask my friends of what they first thought of me it was always "I was intimidated" or something of the sort and I would genuinely get so confused while looking like this.

— I don't get invited much to anything or get asked if I wanna join something a lot but theres this one person who makes sure to ask me if I wanna play games or watch videos together a lot like Malleus and Yuu ((PLATONIC YUU FOR ME DAWG. I SEE HER AS MY MOTHER.))

— I get isolated a lot in my family and if I wanna be around people I gotta do it myself (which is hard) and sit there but still be overlooked

— I'm not as in touch with my emotions as I make myself out to be, I'm very much out of them and I'm only really acting as to how I think people would want me to

— I don't understand human customs hel. Like I genuinely get so confused and be in awe when I see things others see like everyday

— I have big issues with abandonment and death when it comes to close friends (I'm talking like 4 year friendship and stuff.) or family I've grown attached to (my cousin), I'd genuinely do anything if it meant they'd stay with me ((vague spoilers lol!?))

— I take what my friends say very seriously if they aren't indicating that they're joking no matter what I sound like. That being said I make jokes unintentionally sometimes when im not even meaning to be funny

3. Riddle Rosehearts

❝ How was that? Do you understand the full extent of my capabilites now? ❜❜

— You don't have to hear me out on this one I'm a little shocked too.

— When I was younger I used to be wayyy too bossy and rude and if anyone even apposed me I would get angry and metaphorical go "off with your head"

— The only reason I woupd be so bossy and rude was because of my family and how they'd bend to my every will and encourage my behavior to others because i was a "golden child"

— especially my mom. She would see my bossy self and go "thats my mini me", looks and her personality

— As I grew older that bossy nature lessened of course but there are times i get angry when others dont have the same thought process like me and don't do something correctly in my eyes

— The only reason I don't let that bossy nature slip by is because of the fact I became my own ace and punched and told myself that I'm not the addition of my mother and I'm not the queen of the world

— of course I'll still follow rules but if they're like... unnecessary I'm not following them at all. Especially if its smth like "u MUST tie ur shoes five times" suck my D-'EYE'-C-K fr. 🐈

— I still have anger issues but I try and not let it slip past either. There was a time I got so angry that I was shaking and I had to be held back from attacking someone ((metaphorical "off with your head"))

4. Rook Hunt

❝ Non... Speak not. At this point, I can hear your inner voice just by gazing into your eyes. ❜❜

— I'm not as shocked by this

— For the other three it's more personal but for rook its in all caps PERSONAL. I see beauty in literally all things even if it truly is the most ugliest thing in space

— I can watch people from afar without getting caught exactly but enough for someone to get restless if I want them to be

— There are times I find information of someone on accident and I will be going deep into it. Like deep into it and then I'll forget it because it's not anything needed at that moment

— People either feel safe talking to me or unsafe and I cannot explain why bc even I dont know.

— I would wear outdoor boots for/with everything if I could and ik it would make people scream in horror.

— talking about horror i would watch detailed horror movies just to say how beautiful it can be and the symbolisms.. etc.

— I can also read characters kinda well??!?! and write them sorta well???!?? idk how to explain it but give me enough time with watching a character and I'll tell you exactly why I think they act the way they do or think the way they do or feel the way they do or how they would react to xyz, etc.

— even when I or my friends dont like someone I don't just base my reaction on that ((like I'm not a fan of neige or vil but if you told me to choose between the two I could not. both of their characters are good and if you wish I can even try to explain how.))

— I had a phase where I would speak in one language for a while ((spanish)) but i forgot what I used to say however half the time it was always me sayinf "i love you" to others i loved

— I called someone my butterfly once i think???? Cant remember who

5. Azul Ashengrotto

❝ What do you think? I have remarkable potential, don't I? ❜❜

— IF YOU KNEW ME IRL SINCE BASICALLY BIRTH YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

— I used to get bullied for a lot of things, my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes, how i act, my glasses, my grades, how my moods would change drastically, my gender, etc

— So even when I was younger than I am now, I would see if others needed me to do something so I could gain favors or just get blackmail to raise over their heads for them to do smth for ME

— I was a people pleaser and a people eater no in-between.

— Unlike azul I didn't have a floyd or jade with me and it was just me myself and I

— LIKE azul I got a lot of people indebted to me lol.

— I would change myself and how I acted with people irl and on the internet to get literally every favor i could. I would know everything abt someone and they would feel like they HAD to help me with smth bc of that or bc i would show my more pathetic side

— I got so insecure of myself that I would try to take down any pictures i had of myself so that I could be "free" of the embarrassment.

— my family wouldn't help

— unlike azul I would do a lot of things to ensure i was skinny and cute and nice to others perspectives that I'd starve myself... so um.... yeahh.......

[gingerpeachtea]

20 questions for 20 writers !!

ty for the tag @aaronstveit :D <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 13 so far

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 19,163

3. What fandoms do you write for? graceland, braindead, and whatever musicals have crawled into my brain like a parasite and won't leave. i used to write a lot more for aos but i've been slacking </3 daisy johnson i miss u!!!!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? i already know exactly what these are gonna be lmao

sweet words and fevers (143 kudos, aos, quakerider) lose your faith in me (67 kudos, aos, staticquake) somewhere in the haze (43 kudos, graceland, mike sickfic) wrap it in gauze and light the way home (29 kudos, graceland, mike whump, 10 year anniversary fic :3) if i make it to the morning (28 kudos, graceland, mike/charlie/briggs ot3, mike whump)

5. Do you respond to comments? yes!!!! i looove comments i love talking to people about my fics!!! i love fandom i love community!!! peace and love on planet earth!!!!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? out of what i've posted so far, definitely trial by fire, because the point of conflict between mike and paige/their guilt doesn't really get resolved so much as just...they go on with their lives. almost all my fics are hurt/comfort but tbf leans more towards hurt/no comfort. HOWEVERRRRR i do think that once i post something's in your eyes then that will be the angstiest bc i just find the last scene to be really sad

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? not an option for me NEXT! jk it's pillow

8. Do you get hate on fics? naur <3 yay

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes. gay👍. if the characters are a man and a woman no they aren't. not to me. also it has to involve some kind of deep psychological issue or else i get bored LMFAO

10. Do you write crossovers? naur

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware of !

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope, but i would absolutely be open to it if someone offered

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no BUT there is a doc titled MIKEJOHNNY FOREVER where reese (@cemeteryklaus) and i planned out a co-written mikejohnny fic and even started it but she is lost to the depths of my google docs </3

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? you absolutely cannot make me do this. if there was a gun to my head and u asked me this question i think id just let you shoot me

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? OH GOD. UM. to be so honest........ bus kids existence of all time :( just because SOOO much of it has to be rewritten since i started it YEARS ago and have changed soo much as a writer. i love her so much like that's my BABY that's my actual physical tangible child in a bassinet but....... goddd it's just sm longer than my fics usually are so there's so much to do and so little time </3 and even if i finish it the sequel is definitely not seeing the light of day just bc there's like three missing scenes i still have to write and have 0 ideas for lmao

16. What are your writing strengths? LOOOOOOVE a good metaphor. so sexy so fun to write etc shes my best friend. my silly rabbit. i also think i've gotten really good at showing and not telling :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? keeping dialogue in character!!! the way i speak irl is so specific and strange and i usually tend to default to my own voice and then i have to go He Would Not Fucking Say That and fix it. also i am so violently indecisive, i usually have 9238642879845 versions of the exact same paragraph or phrase and i can never choose which one i like the most. 70% of the editing process for me is choosing between different versions of something

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i don't know any other languages so i can't rly do this lmao. i like it tho!!

19. First fandom you wrote for? h*rry p*tter WE DONT HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? FUCK um. okay so like. let me do one per fandom because i am so violently indecisive.

for braindead it's a no-brainer (hehe) it HAS to be when memories snow bc i LOOOOOVE giving characters my very specific issues and writing laurel's recollection of her finding abby's body and writing the last two paragraphs literally felt like unlocking something in my soul it was so much fun!!!

for aos, bkeoat (bus kids existence of all time) is so self-indulgent and every time i read it it's like OGH OGH OGH OGH OOGA BOOGA AWOOGA many consecutive shots to the chest etc etc and so on and so forth. bc i cooked it specifically to have that effect <3 but out of currently posted fics it has to be lyfim <3333 for the same reasons.

for graceland TRIAL BY FIRE!!! i'm so proud of it and it turned out basically exactly how i wanted it to and i just!!! aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER something's in your eyes will in fact be tied with it when i post it so. get scared

i don't know 20 writers so i'm just gonna tag a random number of mutuals: @emeraldelysium @dandelion-writes @the-sparkling-diamond-satine @jortspheus @wheelsup-sevenup @acerobbiereyes @cemeteryklaus @saint-ossifrage <3 and anyone else who wants to do this!! :D feel free to tag me if u do!

[myeyesblurry]

why is your sobriety pertinent to the rest

careful with those big words around me what the shit 😥😰😥😰

just as to why im not part of any drama, im too busy being a junkie and trying to stay sober. explain why im often gone, why i dont, idk, insert myself into drama ooc? i have too much going on because im either

1 relapsing actively on drugs ruining my life or

2 sobering up and dealing with the ruins of my life.

saaying im not just a junkie and that, i can be sober. like now. which is why i can articulate whatever i am doing or talk about my experiences but i dont need to talk about, "he said" "she said" i can be another voice in the "they said" and u make an opinion after hearing all voices, idk?

if i said what others say then im just a useless echo to something that might be wrong or right and thats how propaganda starts man too many ppl saying 1 side of a story instead of sharing their story and letting others piece together a more accurate idea of what's happening, rather believening propaganda yk?

u can still get the wrong idea with all the, facts or stories, but oh well

but yeah i was saying if u want my mods experience with other mods they can give their experience, but these are real people and blurry doesnt need to harass others

i was getting asks asking about whats happening, and since it's ooc, they have to work it out ig? i mean to me blocking and moving on is my move with people but thats me if they want to, talk thats them, i mean blurry, a character harassing, is not for OOC people. not for the mods. i have always given other mods the same respect we all deserve and we are not our characters. i would hate to harass someone and have it actually hurt their mod, rather some funny moment in an rp.

and yeah some dont like blurry; but some mods give me ammo for their characters to get bullied, or otherwise LOVE blurry. some people like drama and angst in rp, you know? but we dont irl. so when im asked whats happening or my thoughts, it's not for this blog if its about anything irl <3 but i can express myself if we want, in private.

[dissectedgrrl]

hmmmm okay wait

3, 6, 18, 26, 44, 67, 82!

3 - do you really think theres somebody for everybody?

i dont believe in stuff like soulmates or fate. every relationship ends at some point in some way so ive never really thought anything like that. its a sweet concept tho !! (im a bit of a pessimist 💀)

6 - are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones?

YES omg. id literally be nothing without my friends theyre actually everything 2 me. my irls are all so pretty n funny n nice. one thing about having friends of any kind that makes them so important is that u can talk to them about anything. so like if im having family or relationship troubles i can always rely on them. platonic relationships >>>>>>> romantic relationships

18 - are you religious? do you think your religion is ‘correct’?

ive never actually been in a religion. ive thought about it before but one set religion has never really fit me i dont think

26 - whats the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far?

to stay alive (that got dark quick)

44 - how often do you lie? is all lying inherently bad? are you generally truthful?

ooh g*rl i used to lie so much im actually ashamed 😭 but i do it a lot less often now (thank god). i dont think ALL lying is bad because sometimes its just to make people feel better yk? you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. i like to think im truthful. ive been getting better at opening up about my true feelings recently (<- theyre like the only things i lie abt anymore)

67 - whats the worse thing a person can be?

omg this ones a toughie. there are a lot of bad things a person can be tbh. the usual kind of bad apples like racists, homophobes, murderers, rapists, etc. but theres also just like bad/toxic people yk? but if we're not talking labels here id definitely say the worst would be being not remorseful. people like that are always the worst

82 - are you a deep person?

i mean i dont consider myself to be. i love having deep n meaningful conversations but im just naturally unserious. i WILL find some sort of joke to make about anything istg

[e77y]

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

[terraliensvent]

multiple ppl close to kinah were able to verify that they were in the hospital recovering when the attempt happened. all of those ppl could not collab and lie so one person could get “extra attention” in ur words. Im frustrated with terra staff aswell but that doesn’t mean its ok now to call someones suicide attempt fake so ur feelings seem more valid. I find that extremely sickening. U have zero evidence or good reason for doubt or else u would have vented about it already. all u have is ur feefees. u do need therapy. And mod pls stop validating baseless speculation on smth so serious. what happened 2 people needing proof for claims like this

alright yeah im deleting kinah asks now

first off i dont think that people should just believe whatever they read on the internet, because you dont know who these people are irl. again, thats not to say that you shouldnt give support where you can or that you should make public callouts saying that it was all fake when you dont know for sure, BUT at the same time theres a level of speculation regardless because its the fucking internet. people are wild, people are strangers, and there is a non zero chance that people could have lied. just because people have a level of speculation on something they read online, that doesnt mean they need therapy and it doesnt mean theyre a bad person, it means they have a brain. if YOU want to believe it without a shadow of a doubt then thats fine, and if other people have some doubt thats also fine, just dont go out of your way to fucking bother people because thats just unnecessary.

second off, i need proof for accusations like “so and so is posting feral” or “so and so is an abuser,” saying things like “the way that kinah bounced back into cs makes me speculate” isnt an accusation.

the views of the anons i post here arent reflective of my own views, and if something is a problem i give my own input on it in my response. when i created this blog i didnt want to delete asks because i feel like that controls a narrative and makes me an unreliable narrator when it comes to these discussions. if people want to talk about things like this, i didnt want to force silence because thats not how you hold a discussion.

as an additional note: anons have been becoming increasingly aggressive in my inbox, whether its towards one another or towards myself. i implore all of you to stop being so aggressive, stop making assumptions, and stop playing this holier than thou card. so much of the art and cs community is made up of people who will virtue signal and place themselves on a moral pedestal and my inbox is the last place for that. if you want to rant and complain, go ahead, but stop acting like youre better than each other because you have the Correct Opinion on everything and believe everything you read on the internet.

my final thoughts on this are as follows: there is a non zero chance that everyone is lying. is it a small chance? sure. does this mean we should spread the narrative that it was all fake? no. are you a horrible person who should die in a fire because you dont 100 percent believe that the attempts were real? no, but also dont go out of your way to be an asshole because of that belief. i think we should all publicly operate under the assumption that the attempts were real. if you want to privately speculate, go fucking wild. could kinah going back into cs and making stuff for terras possibly be bad for their mental health? maybe. but also, its none of our business. and thats what im ending this topic with, a lot of this shit really is just none of our business and i think you all give way too much of a fuck about someone who you will never know irl.

i dont dislike kinah, in fact i actually really liked them when they were on staff for terras. but at some point we all gotta throw our arms up and say why is this taking up so much of my brain power when this person is just someone i follow on fucking toyhouse.

we are done with asks about kinahs attempt now, unless anyone has important info or something new to say im deleting them.