#like no way there weren't days where he didn't get absolutely wasted in front of stefan's grave

[annwrites]

i've wanted this for so long

— pairing: shane walsh x fem!reader

— type: part of a series

— summary: you & shane make love for the first time

— tags: angst, shane is desperately in love with you & has been waiting for this

— tw: depressive thoughts, sex

— word count: 2,229

It felt like since the world fell apart, that there wasn't a moment that you weren't filled with utter terror. Always waiting for the next tragedy to strike. But this? What you were about to ask of Shane?

It didn't matter if he'd already made you an offer...and mentioned it once more during target practice. You were petrified as you stood across the camp staring in his direction as he sorted through the duffle bag of firearms and ammo, trying to come up with the right way to say it.

You worry that perhaps he's now changed his mind. What if he doesn't want to anymore? And when you ask...is the camp really the best place to do it? What if someone overhears? What would they think?

And while he'd told you he'd moved past whatever he'd felt for Lori—whatever they'd had—you weren't so sure.

You suppose it doesn't matter either way. It'll be one thing: sex. No feelings attached. Just...just something you wanted to experience. To know what it felt like. A brief release.

You'd lied awake tossing and turning nearly all night, debating with yourself. You'd tried, in earnest, to talk yourself out of it. Told yourself you were being stupid. Selfish. You'd torn yourself apart until you were in tears.

He may've made it sound like—that night on the porch—it wouldn't just be 'getting laid' to him, but you knew otherwise. You were so...worthless and weak.

It doesn't matter that he told you he saw you as anything but. He was a leader. You, a follower. He'd kept everyone safe, had bothered to waste his time saving your life over and over. Meanwhile, you did meaningless chores all day.

Why had he ever bothered giving you the time of day in the first place? Why had he ever glanced twice in your direction? You can't wrap your head around it.

You could never mean something more to someone. Not that you want to to him. You know he's...beyond your grasp.

You shake your head, huffing, fighting back tears again. God, you were absolutely pathetic.

And it's the very reason you finally march over to him, ready for him to tell you no. That he had no idea what he was thinking making someone like you such an offer in the first place.

You want the rejection. You want him to hurt you. Badly. You want to be proven right: that you're nothing.

It'll make letting go of this idiotic idea that much easier.

Shane doesn't even see you standing across the picnic table at first.

You clasp your hands nervously in front of you. "Shane."

He looks up to you. "Was thinkin' 'bout gettin' these rifles cleaned up and sortin' through the ammo. Not sure how much we've got left in here. If you want to help, you can-"

"I want you to do it."

He stops, the pistol in his hand slipping from his grip back into the bag. He stares at you for a moment. "What?"

Please, be as harsh as possible, you think.

"I want you to take my virginity."

He blinks at you, dumbfounded. And then a slow smile spreads across his lips.

You hope he's about to mock you for ever taking his offer seriously in the first place. You know he's about to.

You don't blame him.

He comes around the table to stand in front of you. He gently takes your hand in his. "You do?"

You nod.

The look on his face softens and you suddenly feel confused.

Why isn't he being mean to you for this?

"When?" He asks in a hopeful whisper.

"N-now...?"

He reaches up, brushing his knuckles along your cheek. "Where?"

Had...had he actually meant it, then?

"I...I don't know." You can't think.

"I know a place."

"Oh." Had he thought ahead? Been planning for it all this time?

He chuckles. "I uh...I need to grab somethin' from my tent real quick. Wait here for me?"

You nod.

You stand there taken completely aback. How...how could he actually want this with you? To be the one to do it? You saw it as more of a burden on him than anything.

A chore.

You're broken from spiraling thoughts of telling him to forget it, that you've changed your mind; made a mistake, by him taking your hand in his and leading you away from the farm, a blanket tucked under his other arm.

Shane had led you well away from the house and into a clearing in the middle of the woods. And it was beautiful.

Vibrant green canopies of tree leaves were overhead, the sun shining through them, casting rays of light across the forest floor. Birds sung a melody all around you, and a cool breeze kissed your skin.

You look to him and watch as he fans out the blanket he'd brought, smoothing it across the grass.

Finally, he stands again.

Before he can speak, you do so first.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

He gives you a quizzical look. "I should be asking you that. Why're you askin' me, though, darlin'?"

"I don't understand you," you blurt out.

He raises a brow.

You continue. "Don't...don't you see this as more of a burdensome chore than anything else?"

Sadness for you flashes across his features. "How could I ever see makin' love you as that?" He cups your cheeks in his hands then.

"Making...love..." You struggle to wrap your head around him seeing it as that.

His voice becomes a mere whisper. "I've wanted this for so long. Have I not made my feelings for you clear yet?"

You blink up at him in response.

"Then let me show you. Right now."

Shane crushes his lips to yours, cupping the back of your head, holding you to him, terrified that if he lets go for even a moment, you'll run and this...this will be over. For good.

He'd waited for you for weeks, and months, and now—now—here you were. Finally.

You had finally come to him on your own. Had finally asked him for himself. Asked him to be the one man you gave this precious part of yourself to.

How could he not love you for that? How could he not otherwise?

He slides his other hand along your hip, until his palm is pressed firmly to the small of your back, bringing your body closer to his own. He flicks his tongue against your lips, asking you for entrance.

And you grant it.

He flicks his tongue again, against yours, silently encouraging you to enjoy this. To make the most of this—of all of it—of him.

He pulls away for a moment, reaching down to his belt, until your hands come to rest over his.

He looks at you, heart sinking. "Do you want to stop?"

You shake your head, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes, then back down.

He drops his hands and yours take over, gently unbuckling his belt.

Meanwhile, he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you next unzip and unbutton his pants.

He toes off his boots, pulling his shirt over his head, then stepping out of his pants next.

Once he's clad in nothing but his boxers, erection firmly present, he slides his hands up your hips, pulling your shirt off as well.

He reaches to the back of you, gently unclasping your bra and you cover yourself as it slips off of your arms.

He shakes his head, his eyes searching for yours. "You don't need to hide from me."

"What...what if you don't like how I look...once I'm naked?"

He hates that you're worried about such a thing in the first place, but understands.

"What're you worried about, babydoll? Some stretch marks? Do you want to know what a man thinks when a naked woman is in front of him?"

You shrug.

"Shit, she's naked."

You give a small laugh at that and he's glad to see you smile.

"A woman giving you her naked body is a gift. Any man who sees it otherwise never deserved you in the first place. At that," he says, unbuttoning your jeans. "He ain't a man if judging your body is the only thing on his mind when you're like that in front of him."

Finally, you toe off your shoes as well.

He gently tugs your jeans down past your hips, then your legs, until they've pooled around your feet.

You step out of them and Shane lays them to the side.

He stands again and you lower your arms.

He grips either of your hips, thumbs brushing against the bare skin of your sides as he studies your nearly-naked form, wanting desperately the unwrap the rest of his gift by removing your panties.

He looks you over, eyes dilating with lust.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you've got anythin' to be worried about."

He looks into your eyes and his lip twitches when he sees how flushed your face is.

He crushes his lips back to yours, sliding his hand down your stomach, past the waistline of your panties, his palm coming to rest against your sex, which is already pleasantly wet.

He runs two fingers between your folds and you whimper against his lips, your tongue slipping inside his mouth.

He does it again and your hips jerk, bringing you closer to him as you throw your arms around his neck, breasts pressed firmly to his chest.

He groans as he continues to tease that sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs until his palm is covered in you.

Shane then reaches down, grabbing the backs of your thighs and lifts you, wrapping your legs around him as he sets both of you on the ground.

He lies you back as he rests on his haunches, studying every inch of you.

He hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties, looks at you, and when you give him a small nod, slips them down your legs, tossing them to the side, his hands spreading your legs further apart.

He licks his lips. "You're so damn perfect."

He leans down, kissing your lips fervently, but gently. He then presses hot kisses to your neck, then your shoulder, your breasts—he teases your nipples with the tip of his tongue until your hips are rising up to rub against his erection, desperate for any form of friction. He them moves to your stomach, spearing his tongue as he licks and teases, then moves lower until his face is between your thighs.

He throws your legs over his shoulders, and you gasp as he presses his open mouth against you, tasting you over and over, lapping at you like he can't get nearly enough. He spreads your soaked folds with his tongue, teasing against your tight entrance. He then flicks his tongue against your clit over and over, and your hips buck against him—his large calloused hands holding firmly against them—as you fuck yourself against his mouth.

He eventually begins to press wet hot kisses to your inner thighs, enjoying the sight of you spread open before him, pink and glistening. And the sounds mewling from your mouth... He doesn't know if he's ever been so fucking turned on before.

Finally, he stands quickly enough to remove his boxers, reaching to retrieve a condom from the pocket of his pants and your eyes widen as he rolls it onto his considerable length. All you can think is that much girth will be excruciating.

He lays back down on top of you, erection in his right hand, rubbing against your entrance as his other smooths hair away from your face as he kisses and kisses you. Finally, he begins to ease into you, inch by inch.

You do your utmost to relax, positioning one of your legs over his back and it helps with the pain, even minimally.

He stops halfway inside of you to allow you to adjust.

"You alright, angel?"

You nod, biting your lip. You wiggle your hips, trying to get more comfortable.

"Want me to keep goin'?"

He voice is husky, his words said between breaths.

You nod.

Once he's eased himself the rest of the way inside of you, he presses his forehead against your shoulder. "Jesus Christ," he whispers.

You wrap your arms around him, massaging the back of his head with your fingers.

He fights against his body jerking as he feels you clench around him once, twice...

He looks at you, and in that moment...something has changed. For both of you.

He kisses you. "This won't be enough for me. I can't just do this once and be expected to forget about it. To move on. Getting over her was one thing. But if I lose you? It'll damn-near kill me." He twines his fingers between yours as he begins to move inside of you. "Tell me you're mine. Tell me," he grunts, slipping out then back into you. "Tell me this is forever."

You wrap your other leg around him and he sinks even deeper. You sigh, gripping his chin gently in your hand, wanting nothing more than to look into his eyes as you give him this promise.

"I'm yours, Shane. Forever."

[questforgalas]

The Bad Batch and Rex Reuniting with Their Jedi Partner After Order 66

I go absolutely insane for Jedi x Clone relationships, and thinking about a Jedi reuniting with their clone after Order 66 gives me the ultimate rollercoaster of emotions so here ya go (wow it feels good to get the writing juices going again)

G/N reader. I made myself cry with all of these, you're welcome

On AO3

You were a Jedi shadow who occasionally accompanied the Bad Batch on missions. You were with them on Kaller when Order 66 happened but you got away with Caleb. Once Caleb is safely away from the Empire, you make your next move to get any information you can, and the only contact you trust at the moment is located on Ord Mantell. Cid offers you asylum and a place to lay low while you figure our your next move

One day while you're trying your best to reverse the many health code violations in Cid's bar, you feel a presence in the force that hits you like a punch in the chest as 4 clones in black and red armor enter the parlor

Hunter calling your name as you leapt over the river haunted you since Kaller

Seeing him standing in front of your made you unable to breathe

He sensed you the moment he walked in, whether it was your scent or your heartbeat you weren't sure, but he turned his head to you slower than you've ever seen him move before

The small blonde girl next to him noticed him stare, and she followed his eyesight, spotting you across the bar. "Is that a friend?" she asked

He didn't answer, just took a step forward like in a trance, but stopped immediately when he saw your hand instinctively hover where you hid your lightsaber

Slowly he raised his hands like placating a cornered animal, "They didn't activate, sweetheart. You're safe with us. You're safe with me."

You sensed it in the force, the truth in his words

He resumed his slow walk to you, the Batch holding their breath behind him

When he was an arms length away, you jumped into his arms, wrapping yourself around him and nuzzling your face into his neck. You felt him squeeze his arms around your waist, finding the crook of your neck, taking all of you in

No tears were shed. Just relief - slow, long breaths you've held since Kaller leaving you both

You stayed that way, wrapped in each other's arms, nuzzling as close as you can get

"Alright, you four, follow me. Clearly, these two need a minute," you hear Cid say from the safety of Hunter's shoulder

Four pairs of feet shuffle past you, a soft pat on your shoulder gives a warm, brief greeting, Echo most likely, before you're both left basking in each other's warmth

"I've got you, sweetheart. We'll figure this out together," he whispers in your ear. You snuggle closer in response

Wrecker wasted no time shoving through the group as soon as he saw you standing on the other side of the bar, eyes wide with shock

"Maker, what're you do..."

He immediately halts when he sees your hand reach for your hip

Of course, the last time you saw him was Kaller, he should've known you'd be suspicious

"It's ok meshla, ours didn't activate. Our chips are defective. Tell them Tech, tell them they're defective." You watch as he looks back at Tech with pleading eyes, body practically vibrating with his need to hold you

Without moving your hand, you move your eyes to Tech's who gives you an affirming nod "He's telling the truth. Our inhibitor chips failed to activate, and we are currently deserters of the Empire"

You didn't hear that last part though as you rushed to Wrecker who met with you equal enthusiasm halfway across the parlor

You were only crushed into his chest for a second or two before he was peppering your face with kisses

You felt yourself freely laugh for the first time since Kaller, playfully shoving him back so you could take in his face

He cupped your cheeks with his big hands, bringing your eyes to meet his

"Maker, I thought I'd never see you again, meshla. I'm so glad you're home"

Home. He was home, and you had no plans to leave ever again

He didn't notice you at first, too caught up in trying to figure out who Cid is

He continued on with his brothers, convinced this was the place for the Jedi contact

While he continued bantering with Hunter and Wrecker, you caught the eyes of Tech which widened when he saw you, but he remained quiet for Echo to discover for himself. His reassuring nod though told you all you needed to feel safe

You waited for the group to stop arguing, but when you saw things hadn't changed and no end was in sight, you couldn't help but laugh

Your laugh, as brief as it was, stopped him short

His back was to you, frozen, and he didn't turn around at first

The rest of his brothers turned in your direction, and Hunter's eyes darted between the two of you, warm smile on his face

What you didn't see was Echo close his eyes, telling his mind to stop playing these cruel tricks on him like it had been since Kaller - hearing your laugh, your soft singing on the marauder while they traveled around

When he finally turned around towards the source of the sound, he dropped his helmet

You gradually make your way to him as he remained frozen on the spot

The rest of the Batch shuffle to make room so you can get to him

As you get closer, your smile slowly grows with each step, tears welling

His eyes never leave yours, remaining wide and unblinking as if you're a mirage that's going to disappear

Finally, you're a hands length away from him, and you slowly raise your hand to rest on his cheek

As soon as skin meets skin, he releases the breath he'd been holding, and leans into the touch, closing his eyes and relishing in it

You let out a happy sob at the sight, your Echo back with you

Faster than hyperspeed, he snakes his arms around you, crushing you into his chest

His hand holds you in place while his scomp rubs soothingly up and down your back

You're full crying now, burying your face in his neck, thanking the Maker for not making you lose him a second time

"Shhh meshla, I've got you. I'm here. I'll always be right here. I'm not losing you again"

You can thank his observation skills and need to take in every detail of a new environment in order to study it for him spotting you right away

You were a bright spot compared to the many health code violations hiding within the bar

You waited on the other side, making your own observations, ready to reach for your lightsaber if needed

"No need for that, darling. Our inhibitor chips did not activate. They appear to be defective, possibly due to our mutations, and we were able to escape the Empire. Hence, why we are here"

You ease at the information, walking to meet Tech in the middle of the parlor

When you're close enough, you see something gleaming in his eyes. Happiness? Pride?

"You don't seem surprised to see me" you say to him, reaching for his hand

"Statistically, once you made your escape from Hunter on Kaller, and knowing your capabilities, I knew it was improbable that you would fall victim to Order 66. Although, finding you in a less than reputable bar in the Outer Rim is certainly a surprise"

Oh Tech, your Tech. So matter of fact and to the point

His explanation makes you laugh and shake your head

Not able to wait any longer, you grab him and pull him towards you

He softly smiles down at you as he cups your chin, bringing your lips to his

"What's the probability of us being separated again?" you ask him without pulling apart

"Very low. 0% in fact" he says before softly kissing you again

You reunited with the boys on Ord Mantell and stuck around with them as they figured out the new galaxy. Once you all sprang Crosshair free of the Empire, you removed his chip, and you stayed by his side the whole time as you waited for him to wake up

Every form of meditation in the galaxy could not calm your nerves

Crosshair's chip was removed 2 days ago and he'd been unconscious ever since

You never left his bedside, only eating and drinking when Echo or Omega brought you food and water

You'd laid your head down to rest some time ago when you felt his hand stir, yours laying on top of it

You shot up, holding yourself still as you watched him wake - groaning as his eyes adjusted and he took in the room

Slowly, they made their way to you, and you both froze

Every cell in your body wanted to throw your arms around him, but you gave him time to take in his new reality

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes"

The laugh that came out turned into a sob as you squeezed his hand

You're patient, spending the next few hours working through his guilt, helping him voice his insecurities, his doubts, his self-hatred, ready to combat each negative notion that dares make itself known

Hours later, you're both sitting in his med bed, leaning against the wall with your head on his shoulder

He has his arm around you, rubbing circles along your arm

After months of explosive run ins and uncertain truths, you bask in the quiet between you both

Whenever the tears escape, he quietly wipes them away, shushing them with soft kisses in your hair

In the night, a quiet confession

"I fought it. Every time I raised my rifle or pistol at you, I fought it. I could feel myself hesitating, yelling at myself in my own head"

You squeeze him tighter to you, nothing to say but letting him know that no matter what he reveals, you only want him closer

He brings you into his lap, legs curled over his, tucking you into his neck

"Thank you for never giving up. Thank you for fighting for me, even when I wouldn't fight for myself"

He places a gentle kiss in your hair before he tucks you further into him, resting his head on yours, letting the peaceful night settle around you both

You were a Jedi shadow in love with a certain captain and who occasionally accompanied the Bad Batch on missions. You were with them on Kaller when Order 66 happened but you got away with Caleb. Once Caleb is safely away from the Empire, you make your next move to get as far away from the Empire as possible

the blaster hole in his pauldron makes me so emotional ok anyway

it would take awhile, weeks even months before the reunion would happen with both of you trying to lay low as long as possible

Rex had the advantage of the Empire thinking him dead, you weren't so lucky

You only used the force once after the events, after you found yourself safely heading towards the outer rim, to reach out and search for Rex's signature

Once you felt it and felt it hadn't changed, unlike the other clones you knew, you immediately cut yourself off from the force going into hiding

It broke your heart cutting yourself off from him, but you knew it wasn't safe for him to be near you - and you still had a lot of questions

Later, settled on a backwater planet far from the Empire's reach and with the galaxy continuing on, you risk a short connection with the force with one thing in mind

You feel him, faintly, but he's still there and he's still your Rex

Months later, one day when you check on him, his signature is the strongest it's been since the war

You're too curious and too lonely, you hold onto it, knowing what you're risking, but follow it through the forest and to the clearing a few kliks from where you've established home

A small, abandoned farm greets you. A ship waits not far from the homestead, and two figures stand just by the porch. He shares the face with millions and is all the way across the clearing, but you'd recognize him anywhere

He's with another clone, and softly you reach out with the force to check their signatures - both unchanged, both not filled with hate and confusion like so many of the other soldiers after the war

It only took two steps into the clearing before you saw him stiffen and whip his head in your direction.

Of course he could sense you without you even opening yourself up to him.

You keep walking. He doesn't take his eyes off of you

Suddenly, like his brain needed a minute to catch up, he breaks into a sprint to you, the clone left behind laughing as he watches the stoic captain appear to finally lose it

You don't see him approach you since tears blocked your vision as soon as you saw him start running

Half attempts to wipe the waterfalls from your cheeks are halted when your feet leave the ground and you're crushed into a hard chest, arms wrapping around you tighter than a force choke

Pulling back, you're both crying and laughing, not fully believing this is actually happening

You try to wipe the tears from his cheeks, he pushes the hair that's fallen in your face away

Words are being whispered, whatever can be kissed is kissed

Eventually, you both manage a deep breath, and Rex brings his forehead to yours

For the first time since the war ended, you feel a calm in the force you never thought possible again

[sorcerous-caress]

to dance with you | Astarion

[ fluff, heavy angst, bad end, character death, trauma, nb!reader ]

[Before the events of bg3, Reader is one of Astarion's victims ]

I am very sorry.

There was no taste to numbness, no colour, shape, or smell.

Just an absence, an emptiness. 

You couldn't escape it, no matter how much you tried. Much like total darkness, the abyss waited for you back home at the end of the day.

And while you knew it was hopeless to attempt to rationalise your way out of it, to cling to some justifications that explain that lack of warmth in your life, that just maybe it somehow made you superior to endure, you knew deep down it was a waste of time.

There's no dignity in suffering. There's no prize for enduring agony. 

Your drink was getting cold.

Lifting the cup to the edge of your lips, you swallowed down what you could of the lukewarm liquid. Barely registering the taste of it.

You're spiralling again. You always did around this time of year.

People say one must imagine sisyphus happy, and yet you've dragged your own corpse up this hill too many times to count. Clawed your way out of rot and into a resemblance of a functional adult.

Staring out the cafe window into the snow-covered city, you finished the rest of your now cold drink. It was barely night, and yet the sun has already said its goodnights.

The streets will fill out soon. The buzzing of the nightlife was just on the horizon. 

You found it ironic in a way, for how much Lathander's followers loved to proclaim the sun as the symbol of absolute goodness, then how come people only felt like being their true selves at night.

It felt like a curtain being drawn at the end of the show, when the angels slept and the pressure to perform melted away.

You should take your leave soon.

Your eyes shifted to stare into the bottom of your empty cup, traces of the remains of your drink have dried up in various shapes. 

"Good evening" a voice called out to you, someone standing in front of your table, next to the empty chair.

Looking up, you were met with ruby eyes. Silvery hair and curling around pointy ears, framing the pale face and.

"Would it be alright if I joined you, my dear?" The elf continued, voice gentle as if coaxing a rabbit out of its nest.

You don't know why, but at that moment you nodded.

He sat down on the opposite chair.

You weren't superficial. At least you didn't think so. People couldn't control their appearance, so what right do you have to judge them based on it?

Yet when you took in the man in front of you. His half lidded eyes made you the sole point of his focus, the subtle smile to his lips. You would've been blind to pretend that it didn't affect you in some way.

"Do you mind if I buy you a drink? Something to warm you up, maybe?" Clear concern in his voice, "it tends to get very cold quickly at night, and we don't want someone as lovely as you getting sick now, do we?"

He was…worried about your health? A stranger you've never met before?

You shook your head. "No, it's alright." He was probably just trying to be nice, "I wasn't aware I looked miserable enough to worry a stranger, I was just about to leave anyway."

His eyes widened, his smile dropping. "No wait…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend" he cleared his throat, seemingly embarrassed by the misunderstanding he caused, "But where are my manners? You may call me Astarion." 

You stared at the hand that he extended to you, he didn't seem phased by your hesitation to shake it. In fact, he patiently waited for you.

Not wanting to make this more awkward than it already is, you took his hand. He smiled again.

You told him your own name, and he said it suited you. His cold hands let go of yours after running his thumb across your hand.

"Please excuse my previous…failed attempt. I'm not used to approaching people." His eyes looked to the side, probably to mask his nervousness, you thought.

He seemed so bold and confident moments ago, yet the second you mentioned leaving, he immediately switched. 

Huh, people really aren't what they seem like, you thought to yourself. Who knew behind his confident facade was just someone like you.

"It's alright, I'm sorry for my rushed assumptions." You felt bad. This person was just trying to be nice, and you were rude to him for no reason but your own paranoia.

"I noticed you since you walked in," he admitted, "you looked…simply breathtaking." His eyes drank you up, taking in every detail of your form.

You've barely noticed him. You've barely noticed anyone in the cafe. You were too occupied wallowing in your own misery to give the outside world more than a passing glance.

"I'm flattered, really." You admitted, "but I'm not sure if I will live up to your expectations…" as shameful as it was to admit, you thought it was better to warn him early on than to pretend to be someone you're not.

Astarion's hand reached over the table, holding your own in a loose reassuring grip. Giving you enough space to pull back if you wanted to.

"Oh no, trust me." He gave your hand a comforting squeeze, "you're simply perfect." His voice dripped with honey, warm and sweet sliding down your throat.

You held his hand back.

"Then let me make it up to you, how about I buy you a drink? To warm you up." There was a playful edge to your voice as you repeated his words, "well by how cold your hand is, you probably really need this drink."

Amusement filled his face as he chuckled. "You clever little thing." Your eyes followed his tongue as he licked his lips, "I'm starting to like you already."

After a couple of drinks and some time, the two of you ended up leaving the establishment together. Light conversation flowed seamlessly and weaved into one another between you both.

To say he was easy to talk to would've been an underestimation. You felt like you're hanging out with a lifelong friend instead of a stranger you've met a couple of hours ago.

You really didn't pay much attention to time flying by, not when the night sky looked so mesmerising above you. Not when Astarion sat next to you on the garden bench.

And while your conversations didn't stay light for long, he didn't seem like he minded as he leant you his shoulder to lean on while you expressed your worries.

"I think you should tell them. They're your parents, after all." His arm kept you close to his body, "Isn't it their job to help you during rough times and all of that?"

"I don't know, I'm supposed to be an adult." You hid half your face in his shoulder, "I much rather suck it up until I find a new job, and then maybe I'll tell them."

Easier said than done. It's been a week since you've handed in your applications, and yet not a single letter was sent back to you.

"I just don't want to be a burden," you continued "sometimes I wish I didn't worry them so much. Maybe they'll do better without me holding them back." 

Astarion didn't reply. His hold tightened around you.

"Sometimes…I wish I could just disappear." You buried your face in his neck, taking in his scent and closing your eyes.

Again, no reply, only the sound of the night breeze rustling the nearby bushes. The moon looming over the both of you and showering you in her light.

A waning moon.

"I ruined the mood, didn't i?" You let out a bitter laugh as you pulled away from him, "I'm sorry."

There was a somber expression on his face, his usually sharp eyes appearing soft and round.

"No, not at all." He said, "I was just thinking about your words. Wishing to disappear."

With a heavy sigh, he turned to you. "I could preach to you all night about how valuable a single mortal life is like they do all morning at those temples, but we both know that's bullshit." His voice sounded more natural, vastly different from the smooth sultry tone he had before. "Life will still move on, with or without that person."

You snorted, "What, not a fan of the church and gods?" 

"More like they're not fans of mine. But I suppose we can't all have taste." Getting up from the bench, the moonlight illuminated the edges of his hair like a halo, completely facing you.

"I suppose they're missing out." Walking by his side, the two of you strolled through the garden at a slow pace. Hands occasionally brushing against each other.

"Definitely, who wouldn't want this face on their side. I'd probably get them more visitors than their clerics ever could." Leaning closer, Astarion stopped in his tracks as his hand held your face.

"Actually, something tells me you'd do very well at that job, helping others." You leaned into his hand, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

With a sarcastic laugh, he said "Please, me?" 

"Yes, you." When you opened your eyes, you were met with his intense gaze, "you're really good at making people feel at ease, letting them speak their worries. Like you did to me."

"Darling, I did no such thing." He lowered his eyes to your lips, licking his own. Maybe he was using this as an excuse to avoid your gaze.

You gently lifted his chin to look at you again, "Sometimes the best way to help someone is to listen to them, truly listen." 

His lips pressed into a thin line.

"I have been cold and rude to you, and yet you've treated me with warmth…that's a gift, you know. I won't ever forget it." Your own hands cupped his face, contrasting against his pale cold skin. "So yes, if you ever consider being a cleric or something one day, you'll definitely have my recommendation." 

Closing the distance between the two of you, your lips gently pressed against his forehead. Wishing his safety and well being with a quick peck as you pulled away.

His own hands left you long ago, laying abandoned on his sides. His fingers twitched.

Taking a deep breath, you saw his usual easy going smile come back. You felt at ease again as he returned to what you knew as his normal self. "I can think of a way or two you could repay me then, something we would both enjoy greatly." he said.

You felt a subtle touch against your hips, his hands asking permission to hold you.

It was getting really late, you realised. Your dogs must be worried sick back home. Their anxious figures waiting in front of the doorstep, you remember kissing them goodbye before you left.

...

It will be alright, it's just one night. You always left them more food than normal just in case, so they'll be safe and happily fed until your arrival.

Maybe you can even introduce Astarion to them tomorrow. You have a feeling they'll absolutely love licking his face until his hair is a mess.

"Yeah." You pushed his hands to fully grip your hips, his smile grew. "That sounds good to me."

-

The time spent during the walk to his home flew by. He was very good at making you lose yourself in the moment. 

Stepping inside, he kept a tight hold on you as he led you through the corridors.

Huge oil paintings adorned the crimson walls, a red carpet to match. You immediately noticed the lack of windows, and whatever ones you could spot had a thick layer of black curtains drawn closely shut over them.

He ignored any servants you passed by, and likewise, they seemed to pretend you didn't exist either, as if you were invisible like a ghost.

Astarion's demeanour shifted the second you stepped foot inside the palace, and his replies reduced to one word or less whenever you tried to start a conversation. 

You had a sinking feeling in the pits of your stomach, gnawing at your flesh and slowing down your steps.

"Is something wrong?" You asked him after he led you into a bedroom at the end of the hall. "You don't seem well."

His back was turned to you.

You took a step forward, placing a hand on his back. "Astarion?"

He flinched away from your hand the second you touched him, as if you burned the flesh on his back. A low hiss of pain escaped his lips.

Turning to face you after a few seconds, his expression was schooled back into the most charming smile.

"I just tend to get nervous when it comes to initiating intimacy." He told you, a nervous look in his eyes as he shifted slightly.

Oh, is that why he has been acting this way? You offered a comforting smile. "That's completely alright. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"... really? Even when you came the whole way here?" He said with a sceptical tone, "nonsense, my dear, I will get over it in time. I just…need a couple of minutes, yeah."

"I really mean it, Astarion, we don't have to do anything." You repeated yourself more firmly.

You thought your words might offer him some relief, yet the subtle frown to his lips only grew deeper. 

"How about we just get comfortable on the bed and see where the night takes us?" He offered, unbuttoning the cuffs of his embroidered shirt and sitting on the lush bed.

You didn't like his total disregard for your offer. You could tell he wasn't believing you. But you didn't want to push him at the time, so you just let it go.

After making some adjustments to your clothes until you were in a comfortable state, you joined him on the bed. He immediately turned to face you. His body was so close to yours.

"Now…" he whispered so close to your ear. "Just how much I wanted to make you mine since the moment I saw you."

One thing led to another, a teasing touch there, a promising squeeze here, and the taste of his lips against yours.

He just knew how to take your breath away, how to get you to melt into the kiss. Wanting more, chasing after his tongue for another taste.

His hand going down your body, feeling your throat, your chest, your waist, and then your thighs. Heat collected between your legs. You could feel your body respond back to his expert touches, completely ignoring your brain and forming a mind of its own as it grinded against his hands.

Pleasure was overwhelming you. It was both too much and not enough at the same time. It was addicting and consuming.

Was he enjoying it, too? Did seeing you this needy and responsive to his touches make him burn with lust and desire for you?

You tried breaking the kiss to get a good look at him, but he wouldn't relent. Wouldn't give you a chance to even think about anything else but your own pleasure.

When you finally managed to pull away from his lips, you couldn't get more than a glance at his expression before he immediately went for your neck. Sucking and marking the flesh with vigour, teeth sending shivers down your spine.

You didn't realise how sharp his teeth were until you felt them graze your neck. They were almost alarmingly sharp, one wrong move, and they'd glide easily into your flesh.

"Astarion…" you called out to him. His lips left your neck and took it as an invitation to kiss you again, stealing your breath away. "Astarion no wait- " you mumbled between each kiss.

That got him to stop, his hands pulling away from your body.

"Yes my love?" He breathed against your lips.

Your eyes met his, you took in his dishevelled appearance, the flush to his cheeks and his wet glistening lips. His eyes looked like they held desire in them, inviting and tantalising.

But the more you stared into them, the less they seemed to look at you and instead look through you. Deep inside his eyes, he was a thousand miles away. 

You couldn't even see a hint of desire in them if you took away the facade.

"I don't want this." You whispered.

"Did I do something wrong?" 

"No…I just don't want this."

He got off of you, giving you your space back.

Neither of you mentioned it, instead each of you stuck to their own side of the bed.

It was clear he didn't know how to proceed forward, a crease to his eyebrows while in deep thoughts, as you assumed.

The silence was uncomfortable, unbearable even. Your mind wandered back to your home, your comfortable safe haven. 

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you said, "one time, Luna cost me over 5000 golds."

Seemingly coming back to reality, it took Astarion some seconds to fully register your words, "Luna?"

"My dog," you said, "the sweetest shepherd you'll ever meet. I came home from work late one time and she wagged her tail so fast that she fractured it." 

"She sounds charming." Astarion let out a soft laugh, "although, why Luna?"

"She's black and white, you know like the phases of the moon. I thought it was clever at the time." You admitted, "or are you more of a cat person?"

"I'm not an animal person at all, honestly." 

"What, are they also not fans of you?"

That got another chuckle out of him. "They tend to be too smelly for my liking, but I'd take a cat over a horse any day." 

He turned his body to face you again, you did the same.

"Really? Luna adores horses, she could teach you a thing or two."

"Are you really not only suggesting that the dog and I meet up, but that she'd also take me as her pupil?"

"I mean…well yeah, I was kinda hoping I'd take you to meet her tomorrow morning." You cleared your throat, "well that's if you want to.

His focus seemed to drift again, "...you don't happen to have cats, do you?" His tone was quieter than before, eyes not fully meeting yours.

"There's a stray that comes to visit Luna daily, he's not very friendly to other people but who knows." As corny as you thought your line sounded, you still proceeded to say it in hopes it will lift his mood up, "maybe he'll also fall victim to your charm like I did."

Instead of the reaction you expected, you were met with genuine scepticism.

"Ha" his laugh was bitter, "you don't have to spare my feelings darling, I know you don't see me that way."

You sat up on the bed.

"What do you mean?"

He looked up at you, you felt like he was attempting to make himself smaller against the pillow.

"Oh I'm not holding a grudge or anything." He claimed, "I can admit it when I'm not someone's type or whatever."

Brushing a strand of his hair behind his pointy ear, you tried to coax him to meet your eyes again. "...Astarion, I am very attracted to you.

He leaned away from your hand. "Then why did you want to stop?"

The truth burned in your throat to admit. "I just…I didn't feel like you were enjoying it. Like you wanted it."

That look, the eyes staring through you.

Astarion seemed very conflicted, about what? You weren't sure. But you wanted to comfort him, to take away his pain and carry it yourself instead.

He never denied your words.

You pulled your hand away from his hair, still not laying down beside him as you watched his body curl under the covers.

"It's alright, you don't have to explain anything." You got up from the bed, "I can leave if it's-" just as you were about to pick up your clothes, his hand immediately grabbed your wrist in a desperate grip.

"No," he said with dread in his eyes, "you can't."

It was a complete switch from his previous state, you weren't sure what to even make of it.

"I can't?" 

He seemed to catch himself, letting go of your wrist.

"stay with me, at least for tonight." His eyes were pleading, "we can just hold each other, isn't that what you want?" 

He sat up from the bed, gently taking your hands in his as he led you back to the comfort of the sheets.

"It's what I want." He whispered, voice so inviting and beckoning you closer, "I swear." 

You weren't strong enough to resist.

Following after him, your bodies pressed together under the soft sheets. You only felt your own heartbeat in your chest as he held you close. He was cold, so you shared your own body warmth to warm him up. 

The candles in the room were burning out, a calming silence fell. Lulling you to rest and let the day end.

You could only hear your own heart beating.

This was nice, it felt nice and safe so it must be.

Just as sleep was about to steal you away, Astarion's voice nudged you back awake.

"What do you like about me?" His voice was raw, sincere.

You couldn't see his face, "you, of course."

He moved against you, "obviously, now be more specific."

You tried to think about it. It felt like one of these important questions that'd shape your future relationship with him, so you tried to give it all of your thoughts.

There were so many things to love about him, but many of them were things you'd still love him without.

Yet they were still parts of him, but how many parts were actually him.

"Your nature." Was the answer you gave, still not quite satisfied with it.

"Oh shit." His serious tone didn't last long before being replaced by a playful one, "I didn't invite a druid to my bed, did i?" 

You snorted, "very funny, but I meant it." 

Even without seeing his face, you felt his lips curl upwards against your skin. Claiming that small victory was enough for you.

"You know" you found yourself rambling, "my day was going absolutely horrible until you showed up. I don't usually really believe in gods or miracles, but…you were the closest thing to a guardian angel I've ever had."

A yawn escaped your lips, you continued.

"I was too inside my head. I forgot that a whole world outside existed. A world with people like you." Your eyelids fluttered, sleep lurked behind them. "As shitty as life can be, somehow I believe things will be okay." 

Adjusting your position so you could face him in the dark, you felt his body stiffen against yours.

"Goodnight Astarion." you gave his forehead a small kiss, wishing for his safety and well being. "Rest well."

-

The deep hours of the night is when the Szarr palace fell the most silent. Merely an hour or two separating them from dawn.

A warm living breathing body laid next to him, just like many others before. And Astarion embraced them just like many others before.

But the waves of emotions swirling inside him like poison were definitely new.

He didn't get a hint of rest, he couldn't. As much as he wanted to just close his eyes for the remaining hours and ignore the waking world. After all they will definitely disappear in the morning, so what's a few hours of blissful ignorance?

But he just couldn't, the thought itself threatened to turn his stomach inside out. Disgust he has never felt in years lurching at his insides.

It's their fault, it's all their fault.

They should've made it easier for him. They should've just closed their eyes, spread their legs, and ignored his existence. 

They shouldn't have mentioned their stupid moon dog. They shouldn't have made him leer inside at the idea of having parents to support you yet still choosing to suffer alone.

How dare they be so cruel? How dare they kiss his forehead so tenderly.

He was choking. His throat burned so much that every breath felt like needles being dragged against the inside of his neck.

Worst of all, he could still hear their heartbeat. Did his own sound like that before? Is this what it felt like to have a speck of evidence that you're alive? 

A constant reminder of your mortal life, of your endless potential, of your stupid naivety and your pointless kindness.

His whole body was shaking.

Cazador will be here soon. Just like so many times before.

He needed to act fast. He needed to do something. Otherwise, he felt like he would go crazy.

They don't deserve whatever that monster did with all the others. They don't deserve a fate that cruel, not someone like them. Please God, anyone else but them.

He prayed, holding them closely as he begged and pleaded with each one of the Gods he could recall the name of in his state of panic.

If not for his miserable life then please do something for them, they're still a mortal, they're still one of your children. Please god just save them.

Like always, no answer came.

Astarion felt hopeless, useless and small. 

He stared in horror at his own hands, still in the same praying position. He truly had nothing to offer.

Nothing except a dignified death.

Death would save them from Cazador, Death would save them from torture.

Death was what he should've picked that night almost two centuries ago. 

Careful not to disturb their peaceful rest, Astarion grabbed a pillow.

He took one last good look at them in the dark, he engraved their face into his memory.

He wanted to lean over and give them one last kiss. He didn't feel like he deserved to.

The pillow pressed against their face, slowly cutting off their oxygen.

Astarion held tightly. He kept his hold firm even as they struggled.

He couldn't take his eyes off of the pillow, his tears falling and staining its white cover. A drop after another.

As their struggles died down, by that time, he had gotten his side of the pillow entirely wet. He still held firm, despite his shaking fingers, despite the blood slowly joining his tears onto the pillow from how hard his teeth dug into his lips.

At these hours, the Szarr palace was the most silent. He couldn't risk making a single sound.

Only when a heartbeat ceased to exist did he let go of his grip.

He got off the bed, closed their eyes and covered their face with the sheets. He sat on the floor, head next to their cold dead feet.

Despite his clean hands, he swore he felt their blood on them, seeping into his skin and marking him forever.

Not just their blood, but the blood of every innocent miserable person he lured back into this hell.

He just wanted to save them, to save this one person. Take a life in stride and carry the guilt to the end of his days. 

It was just one life, one very precious person.

Was a very precious person.

But he forgot to account for the hundreds of lives he has taken indirectly before, it was easier to forget when it wasn't his own hands stopping their heartbeat.

His whole world felt like it stopped because of one life.

As he sat there on the cold floor, naked, shaking with tears streaming down his face, he heard the very familiar tapping of a staff against the floorboards.

All of his feelings vanished in an instant, as if he was drowning in a deep volcanic abyss before getting pulled into the freezing surface.

He could not feel his fingers, numbness spread throughout his whole body.

The tapping got closer. It was heading towards him.

Cazador was heading towards him.

There were no feelings left inside him, just pure numbness.

There was no taste to numbness, no colour, shape, or smell.

Just an absence, an emptiness. 

He couldn't escape it, no matter how much he tried. Much like total darkness, the abyss waited for him back home at the end of the day.

[nebbyy]

Omg I’m so excited you’ve decided to start requests!!!

I was wondering if you vibe with the idea of an Aang X f!reader. Where Aang kind of explores his anger? Maybe a little jealousy and rage but still a nice guy. Very much like Percy Jackson being a powerful rage guy but when relaxed he’s like a skater boy with no stress?

Aang x reader - That voice in his head

A/N: thank you so much for the support! I honestly didn't expect for one of the first requests I was gonna receive was gonna be of a fic for any character from AtLA, but I'm not surprised at all because I haven't interacted with this fandom in a long time!! I absolutely LOVE your idea and it was so fun writing it! 

Also really important, the pic I choose for this fic is from pinterest, I have no idea where it comes from, who made it, whether is a photoshop or a cosplayer,.... if you've got any information about who to crediti for the pic lemme know so that I can give credit to whoever made it!

Summary: you and Aang have been together for some time now, and all seems to be absolutely perfect. All, except for that little voice in the back of Aang’s head, one that made him think- overthink actually, and that made him act...

Warning: actions made out of jealousy, Aang acts in a way that might be considered as self destructive but it's nothing worrying don't worry. also the amount of fluff in this one might be considered to be a warning itself lmao

Word count: 2001

The day had started in the best of ways. Having all been so tired the night before, no one even noticed that you and Aang were snuggled up next to each other in front of the small bonfire, wrapped in the warmth of Appa's fur. And so the two of you were able to enjoy some well-deserved rest, in each other's arms.

Waking up had also been sweet as honey, as you had woken up first and had had all the time in the world to prepare a meagre breakfast to share with each other, before your friends and companions woke up as well. And even when they had joined you to eat a little something too, the feeling that reigned in the air was one of pure peace.

Or at least, it was until Sokka approached you, one hand on his hip and the other wielding a spear. "Hey Y/N, do you want to come with me to go fishing for something?" You smiled enthusiastically at your friend, not wasting a moment to follow him towards the body of water that lay not far from your temporary camp. You did not realise that you had left behind you a rather dumbfounded Aang, who watched you with slightly wide eyes as you walked away with your friend.

Aang… didn't understand what he was feeling. He didn't understand that strange twisting of his stomach, as if something was twisting him from the inside. He didn't understand his throat suddenly becoming dry, and his breath becoming heavy coming out of his lungs. He could not put a name to what was happening to him, yet he could put a face to it,….

Sokka.

It had all started a few weeks earlier, when after the umpteenth time he had been forced to call his friend's attention to himself, distracted by gazing into the distance, Sokka abruptly grabbed his friend Aang by the shoulder, forcing him to look him straight in the eye as he spoke to him: "If you don't take the first step with Y/N, I will." An innocent provocation, mainly aimed at spurring his friend to stop wasting time fantasising about the girl and get a move on declaring himself, although Sokka couldn't deny that if it weren't out of respect for his friend's crush, he would have already thrown his shot with you. Aang's face turned red, partly from embarrassment and partly from the growing jealousy within him. "H-hey isn't that cool, Sokka!!! I've liked her the longest, you can't just come and steal her from me like thi-" "Then you better hurry up, genius." And with that mischievous smile of his, which at such times makes you wquasi want to slap him, he turned away from Aang, heading to Katara.

It was not long after that little dialogue that Aang found the courage to declare his feelings, and he later thought he owed some of his luck to those very words Sokka said to him that day. Yet in that moment, as you saw him approach you, he brushed against your back to direct you into the right position to fish more effectively. At that moment he wondered if those words Sokka had said to him were really just a joke to tease him, if there was no ulterior motive, that of warning him that one way or another, he would try to make his move on you.

Aang's hands were clenched into such tight fists that his fingers were already leaving small cuts on his palms, but the strong emotions he was feeling at that moment prevented him from feeling anything other than the frantic throbbing of his head. With his head still clouded by this inexplicable rage, Aang turned away from the scene, marching towards a sort of circle formed by various rocks and trees.

Once he arrived in front of the first boulder, he did not even have time to take a breath to prepare himself for the earthbending, when already his right fist had moved as if by instinct, planting itself on the hard surface of the rock, leaving a groove where the impact had occurred. His fingers pulsed, his knuckles, but he felt as if he felt nothing, if anything that pulsation mixed with all the emotions he was already feeling. And in that pain, which at that moment he was not even able to metabolise, he found a further drive, which made the voice in his head even louder, more insistent. Y/N is gonna choose Sokka over me..

He threw another punch, incredibly even harder than the previous one. Small red cuts were beginning to appear on his hand, but Aang still paid no attention to them. It was as if he refused to see the reality around him, that voice in his head had taken hold of him, was isolating him in a dimension where there was nothing but him, his anger and the image of you with Sokka etched in his eyes.

Another punch followed, and another, then another. One by one, the stones arranged in that sort of circle disintegrated from the force of his blows. Aang did not really know how long it had been since he had initially gone there to vent the river that was his emotions, he only knew that the sun was about to set, and that a voice in the distance was calling his name.

It was you, worried sick about the sudden disappearance of your boyfriend.

Aang could not move a single muscle, it was as if your voice had brought him out of his trance state, and now the weight of reality was falling on him all at once. He did not have the courage to answer your call, or even to turn around to look at you properly. He looked down at his hands dripping with his own blood. With the adrenaline diminishing in his body by the second, he began to feel the searing pain of his wounds, finally realising the gravity of what he had inflicted upon himself in that state of rage.

What would you have said seeing him like that? You would certainly be disappointed seeing what he had done, and why. Who knows how worried you'd been about him, maybe you'd been looking for him for hours and he'd been selfishly on his own, voluntarily away from you, as if you were to blame for him feeling that way… even he didn't know how. Or again, you had not come there to know how he was. Maybe you had come to him to tell him that it was over between you, that you preferred Sokka after all, that while you were fishing something had clicked, that he was no longer good enough for you,….

"Good God, Aang what happened?" you run in his direction, taking his bloody hands in yours. You tried to meet his gaze, but he seemed to be working hard to avoid it. You didn't pay much attention, instead throwing your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I was really worried about you, you know? You seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth" He didn't answer, but he felt his throat tighten and his eyes become moist. How could you miss him when you had Sokka? "Come on, let's get you fixed up, I bet your hands must hurt like crazy right now, but how did you get them like that?" You began to guide him towards your camp holding him by the arm, careful not to touch his wounds. "I… I-I was training and I think I got the hang of it a bit," he replied in a voice so light that you almost didn't recognise your Aang. There was something underneath that he didn't want to tell you, of that you were certain. But at the same time you couldn't and didn't want to force him to speak, you just wanted to be there for him.

Once you had entered one of the tents, I gestured for him to sit on the stacked blankets, while you took the necessary to take care of his cuts. Your hands worked gently on his skin, the hands you had always loved to hold in yours so much.

It took him a few minutes of tension-filled silence before Aang found the strength to open his mouth, "Sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean to worry you so much. It's just that…" he interjected, swallowing the lump in his throat, "…I don't know, I just had something on my mind" You frowned as you listened to him, intrigued and concerned by his words. You said nothing, and he took that as a signal to continue.

"See, I don't know what I was feeling before, but ever since I saw you with Sokka, in front of that lake, so close, looking like you were having so much fun,… it was like something was eating me up inside, that's it." He made to lower his gaze again, but you wasted no time in gently grabbing his chin to make him look at you. "Aang… were you jealous?" if it wasn't for his injuries and the saddened look in his eyes, you would have found it funny. I mean, how could he think you would ever choose anyone over him, the most handsome, kind, funny, strong and unexpectedly wise guy you've ever met.

He hesitated for a second, before nodding slowly and lowering his head again. His voice came out weak and shaky: "You're not angry with me?" At his words you huffed, completely incredulous at his question. "Why would I be angry about that? Aang, jealousy is something normal, you don't have to feel guilty if you feel that way."

He cocked his head before continuing to speak, "It's not just that, it's… I always take so much care to control my anger, but today… I don't know, it was like I wasn't in control of my body anymore. I was so caught up in my anger that I couldn't contain myself…" A moment of silence, he looked up again to look at you, and you noticed that his eyes were red, as if he was about to cry, "…I'm sorry, Y/N, I know I must have disappointed you-"

"Absolutely not!" you interrupted him, grabbing his forearms. Your eyes were full of concern for Aang, and your tone though stern was full of love and concern for him. "Aang, for as long as I have known you, you have never allowed yourself a moment to vent your emotions. Despite everything that has happened to you, despite the losses, the physical and emotional wounds, you have always tried to keep smiling. But that is not good for you, sweetheart, you are still just a human being and you need to let go, let out all your emotions, even the ones that scare you."

As you continued talking, Aang felt his heart tighten and his chest warm. You did not stop talking, one of your hands coming up to cup his cheek. "I understand that after everyone you have lost you are afraid of losing me too. But I can promise you, you won't get rid of me so easily, you fool." He let out a shuddering sigh and let himself slip gently into your arms. You wasted no time in wrapping your arms around him, resting your cheek against the side of his head. "Thank you baby, this- it means so much to me." After Aang's words, spoken in a soft, hushed tone, a comfortable silence fell.

You stayed like that for some time, then you spoke, chuckling softly, "Maybe next time come talk to me when you're sick before you shatter a dozen rocks and your hands" He moved his head from its place in the curve of your neck to place his lips on yours in a gentle kiss, then pulled away from you to look into your eyes, smiling apologetically, "Yeah, I think you're right."

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N = I'm on a big Toji thing right now. This one actually turned out how I wanted it to. Yay me. =|.

PLEASE READ BELOW FOR TW:

C/W = F!Reader = Degradation // Praise (backhanded compliments) Toji's toy, not given: direct consent for any of what happens except for 1 person and even that was iffy. Reader is broken, hopeless, sad, stuck in the world Toji has pulled her into. Toji takes and gives what he wants. When he wants. It's NOT non-con, but it's not like "oh yes make love to me you sweet sweet man" either. Far from that. F!Reader gets used by Toji, passed around, I'm still learning all the terminology for this stuff. So, I'm at a little bit of a loss as to what to put here. If you have any suggestions, message me and I'll adjust as needed.

WC = 2263

WHAT GOES AROUND

Toji held you up over the kitchen counter as he fucked you from behind. His massive chest nearly swallowed your back as he ground into you. You were wrapped backwards around him like some carved beauty on the front of a ship.

He was fucking you so hard your head was hitting the black cabinets in ... you didn't know whose house you were in. One of his friends probably.

"Not havin' a good time, pretty? C'mon, let's hear you whinin' and beggin' for my cum. Y'know, the way I showed you how I like to hear it. That's it, that's a good girl, my good slut."

His good slut.

"Turn around now, I wanna see your tits jiggle."

You were trying to work around, but your legs were shaking so hard you could barely hold yourself up.

Toji took notice, but he didn't offer to help. He just continued to fuck into his hand, exhaling more and more impatiently the colder his dick got.

It was a rare day when you didn't do what Toji told you to do. You weren't afraid of him, per se. But anything you could do that would help avoid pissing him off was always in your best interest.

Finally able to maneuver yourself around, he moans loudly at the shift in the position of your body.

"Oh - oh- ffffuckk, th- I don't know why you're always calling yourself stupid. You're the smartest l'il thing I know right now."

'Right now.'

"Ya feelin' good, feelin' real fuckin' tight today, swee'heart."

That was supposed to be praise. But Toji couldn't resist the opportunity to give you a backhanded compliment.

'Tight' today means you felt like a 'loose whore' yesterday.

"Put y'hands out, spread 'em out on the counter more 'n arch that back for me, stick that fat ass of yours up, too, pretty.

The front door of the house opened and you heard 2 very distinct voices getting closer and closer to where you were.

"Good, good. They're here." Toji said, talking right through pounding into you like this were any other Tuesday to him. "Y'like showin' off for my boys?"

You did. You were glad to put on a show for them, you'd had years of practice at being his perfect little whore. And unlike Toji, his friends didn't treat you like absolute dirt.

Someone told you to jump and you said how high. You always said how high.

You tried to make yourself more presentable, fixing your hair and wiping the tears off your face. You wanted to look good for them.

"Well, well, well. Look at you, little Miss Popular." Gojo said, his crystal blue eyes fixated on you. He spoke to you first.

"Oh, Toji, you can't tell us you've got her all to yourself. You gotta share her with us!" Geto chimed in, trying to get you to him. His tone was playful but he wasn't joking.

Toji smirked. "I thought I was sharin' her with you anyway."

Gojo walked up to you, running his thumb over your lips and down your chin, tilting your face up to meet his.

"You wanna suck my cock, little one? I know you do." He asked, his voice low and sultry.

You nodded and he pulled his pants down.

He was already hard, and you wasted no time taking him into your mouth. He moaned loudly as you sucked him off, using your hands to stroke whatever part of him you couldn't fit into your mouth.

Gojo's hands were tangled in your hair, pushing your head down onto his dick.

He groaned loudly and you could hear him say "Oh, fuck, yeah," as he came inside your mouth.

You swallowed his cum and wiped your lips.

Geto was next, pulling his pants down and letting his dick spring out.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, and he grinned. "Hi, doll."

Geto was always so different from the other men. You couldn't ever figure out why he hung around these two. And you had to keep your inquisitions to yourself or Toji would get pissed and forbid you from seeing him anymore. Geto was the one you really liked. But he was also the one you had to work the hardest for.

You started to stroke him, and he let out a loud moan. "Fuck, that's it, baby. You're such a good girl."

You wrapped your lips around his cock, sucking and licking and swirling your tongue around him.

Geto's moans were much quieter, but you knew you were doing a good job. He ran his hands through your hair, gently tugging and holding you at the base of your neck as he came into your mouth.

He looked down at you, his face flushed and his lips parted slightly. "Fuck, you're amazing." He whispered.

You smiled at him and wiped your mouth again. A few tears fell from your eyes, but not because he shoved his dick down your throat. You were genuinely sad that you couldn't be his. Everything about him was the opposite of Toji's hard nature.

"Alright, alright, my turn." Toji said, pushing Geto aside. He flipped you over and pulled your ass towards him, thrusting into you with all his might.

You screamed out in shock and pain, your body tensing up as he fucked you harder and faster.

He was breathing heavily and his words came out between gasps for air. "Oh, yeah, fucking take my cock, you filthy fucking whore. You like that, huh? You like being used like a piece of meat?"

"Fuck, I love it, please don't stop!" You cried out, almost sarcastically, tears streaming down your face. Your eyes never leave Geto's. The gaze so intent he found himself having to look away. Lucky for you, Toji didn't have the sense to catch your tone right now and he just fucked on.

As your body betrayed you, you came hard, your body convulsing and shaking with each thrust.

Toji pulled out, stroking his cock a few times before coming onto your back.

You winced as his cum hit your skin, it was hot and sticky.

"Good girl, yeah, that's it," Toji panted, rubbing his hand over your ass.

"That was amazing," Gojo said, "I think she really enjoyed herself."

You just stood there against the floor cupboards. Legs still spread, ass out, pussy leaking as if you did truly enjoy yourself at the hands of that bastard.

God, you wanted to leave. The city. The country. You felt like you couldn't get far enough away from him and most of his friends.

But you were trapped. Trapped by his words, his actions, his constant threat of violence.

He was the devil himself and you were his willing victim.

A slave to his whims and desires. And he would never let you go. Not until he was done with you.

You knew it, and so did he.

So you stayed.

You stayed for the money and the sex.

You stayed hoping one day he'd wake up a changed man. Or not wake up at all.

And you stayed knowing that even if he did change and let you go, you'd never be good enough for any other man.

Not now.

Not ever.

Not when your mind and body were already ruined by him.

But maybe that was okay. Maybe you didn't deserve to be loved anymore.

You looked at Geto when the thought crossed your mind. It made you want to cry. You knew you could have been happy with anyone else. Or no one else. But it was too late for that now.

"Hey, let's get out of here. I'll take you home." Geto said, walking over to you and helping you stand up.

"Wait wait wait, where the hell are you taking her? She's stayin' with me. C'mere." Toji gestured to you to sit on his lap.

You looked up at Geto, again. "Go on. It's fine. I'll see you later." He said, his eyes sad.

You sat down on Toji's lap and he wrapped his arms around you. "That's a good girl." He said, his voice dripping with disdain.

Geto and Gojo left the house, and you could feel your stomach sink as the door closed behind them.

You knew you had made your bed. And now you had to lay in it.

A fitting punishment for someone who had fallen in love with the wrong man.

A lesson to learn the hard way.

"Hey, hey, stop crying, you're not goin' anywhere." Toji said, his hand on your neck as he held you close to him.

You didn't respond. You just sat there, feeling the tears fall from your eyes and your heart fall from your chest into your feet. You had an idea of what was coming.

And you couldn't do anything to stop it.

"I'm gonna make you scream so loud the neighbors are gonna think I'm killing you. But I won't be killing you. You're mine, remember? I would never hurt you like that." Toji whispered into your ear, his words sending a shiver down your spine.

You knew this wasn't a threat. It was a promise. And you knew he meant every single word.

You were his.

His whore.

His toy.

And he would never let you go.

He held you tightly, his hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer to him. His body was pressed against yours and you could feel his cock hardening between your thighs.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful. Your body is so fuckin' perfect." He growled, his hands roaming over your bare skin, his lips grazing your ear as he spoke.

You wanted to push him away, but you couldn't. You were powerless. You were trapped.

And he was all you had.

"You're so fuckin' stupid, but I love you like this. I love you like you're my little fuck toy. You're so perfect, so tight, so wet, so good at takin' my cock."

You whimpered softly, your body responding to his words, betraying your mind.

"Yeah, that's right. You're such a good girl. I know you like it when I call you that."

You could feel your pussy getting wetter and wetter as he spoke. You hated yourself for it.

"You wanna make me cum, baby? C'mon, let's hear you beg for it."

You looked up at him, your eyes watery and your voice cracking as you pleaded. "Please, Toji, please, I'm yours, I'll do anything you want."

You were sobbing by now.

He couldn't get enough of your pathetic shit.

"Good girl." He said, smirking as he pushed you off his lap and onto the floor.

"Get on your knees. Show me what a good girl you are." He said, pulling his cock out of his pants and stroking it in front of you.

You looked up at him, your eyes wide and your lips parted slightly.

He grabbed your hair and pulled your face towards his cock, forcing it into your mouth.

You gagged as he shoved his cock down your throat. You couldn't breathe and you could feel yourself getting dizzy.

He moaned loudly as he fucked your mouth, his fingers tangled in your hair, his hips bucking against your face.

You wanted to bite him, to fight him off, to do anything to get him out of you, but you couldn't.

He pulled his cock out of your mouth, a string of saliva trailing from your lips to the tip of his dick.

"That's a good girl. Now, I wanna see you suckin' on my balls, too. C'mon, be a good slut and lick them."

You obeyed, licking and sucking on his balls like a good little whore.

You felt sick to your stomach. You had never felt more used and degraded than you did right now.

You knew you shouldn't have enjoyed it. But you did.

You wanted to feel his cum all over your face. You wanted to feel his cum dripping down your chin, your chest, your tits.

But he wouldn't let you. He wouldn't give you the satisfaction.

You were his whore. His toy. His plaything. And he was going to use you as he saw fit.

"I'm gonna fuckin' cum on your tits, you like that? C'mon, you're gonna look so pretty with my cum all over you."

You nodded, your eyes closed tightly, your body tense.

You jumped as you felt his cum hit your chest, his hand wrapped around his dick, squeezing out every last drop.

He moaned loudly and you could feel his cum dripping down your chest and onto your stomach.

"That's a good girl. You're so fuckin' good for me, you know that? You're mine."

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with tears.

"Don't cry, baby. You're so good for me. You're so perfect. You're mine, forever." He said, his tone softening slightly.

He leaned down and kissed you, his lips pressed against yours.

You didn't respond. You just let him kiss you, his cum still warm on your chest.

He pulled away, looking down at you with a smirk. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, you know that? Even when you're covered in my cum. You're so perfect." He said, his words sending a shiver down your spine.

He stood up, pulling his pants back up and zipping them up. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." He said, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the bathroom.

You followed him, feeling like you were in a trance.

You knew you should have run. But you couldn't.

He was never going to let you quit him.

[mod-kyoko]

Can I get a fluff prompt for Mikan and Maki (seperate) where she gets confessed to by her shy Classmate reader that she likes but was under the mistaken impression that he hated her when in reality he was absolutely smitten with her

mikan and maki getting confessed to by shy!male!reader!

info: male!reader, light mentions of bullying

type: hc format, non-despair au

a/n: love these girls so much

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

mikan tsumiki

what a clusterfuck

you are both extremely shy

and you both like each other

you always hated how mikan was treated by the others, but you were never quite strong enough to defend her

she must think you're such a wimp! a terrible person! what kind of person doesn't defend a girl?

mikan, as usual, thinks you despise her which she thinks for most of her classmates

however, it hurts more because she genuinely wants to get closer to you, she's just too scared to approach you in fear that'll she will be rejected

...you felt the exact same

your other classmates are not stupid and notice the shy romantic tension between you

kazuichi actually approaches you and tells you to shoot your shot, even though you kept denying the fact you had a crush on mikan

don't worry kaz is here for you, he's such a bro

one afternoon, classes were over - you and kazuichi hung out in the school courtyard

you both see mikan tottering to the dorm buildings and kazuichi immediately (gently) shoves you towards her despite your protests

"u-uhm... can I help you, y/n..?" mikan was standing right in front of you, when you looked behind you, kazuichi was gone

fuck it

"uhm... hi, mikan... uh..." you had no idea where to even start... so you just blurted it out "I-I really like you! I... I've liked you for awhile..."

she thought you were joking, she even looked around cautiously to see if there was hiyoko or someone near by filming her

regardless she was blushing bright red

"m-me...? but I'm just a klutzy, pile of trashy waste... how c-could you like me..?"

you started to tear up from her words, how could she say that?!

"not at a-all! don't think that way, mikan... you're s-so helpful! even when p-people are mean to you... you always help them... and... you're so beautiful, I-I always feel better on the inside when you're near me... don't think y-you're trash! because you're not..."

mikan immediately starts bawling her eyes out at your kind words

she admits her own feelings for you in a very 'mikan' sort of way

tearfully, you ask her if they could go for ice cream which she agrees with a happy giggle

you two start dating not long after... your fellow classmates (except some obvious ones) think you're the cutest couple ever

maki harukawa

why did she have to fall for you... of all people, she falls for the complete opposite of what she is

you were a shy, sweet guy that wouldn't harm a fly even if he tried

and she was a cold, calculating and violent individual, not exactly a match made in heaven

you weren't an idiot like the others and you never actually did anything to bother her, although you were shy she found you easy to talk to

but that's probably because you're busy listening to her voice half the time...

however, she hasn't confessed her feelings at all because first of all, she's not really good at 'expressing' feelings...

second of all, she didn't even fathom that you liked her at all

yes you let her talk to you but she imagined that you were scared of her and just did it because you felt that you had to

a lot of the other classmates didn't like her because of how she is, why should you?

truth be told, you were absolutely in love with her

she is incredibly pretty, even when her expression is either blank or full of murderous intent

you can't help but find her coldness... attractive? there was just something about it that made you feel a funny way when she calmly insults kokichi for the 999th time or threatens to kill others that annoy her

is that a simp I hear?

you approached shuichi and kaito one day during lunch, since they were maki's closest friends, to get some advice on how to... approach the girl

of course they were both a little worried for you, shuichi especially

but kaito gave you the best advice he could, something about 'puff your chest out!' and 'be confident in the face of the bear!', not great stuff

either way you took his advice as best you can, catching maki when she was alone

"uhm... maki..?" you tapped your index fingers together

"y/n?" maki looked a little surprised that you were talking to her first "what is it?"

"ah.. uhm... I... I really like you... in a romantic sense- I understand if you... you don't like me that way too..."

maki's eyes widened, staring at you completely dumbfounded, then shaking her head

"you're stupid... you like me? do you want to die?" "why the hell do you even like me? you barely know me."

"y-yes! I know b-but.. I like that about you.. I-I like the mystery you have... and... you're really pretty.. your voice is really calming... I like listening to you..."

little makiroll began to blush, starting to fidget with her twintails. was she dreaming?

"you're just plain stupid..." she sighed, her eyes glued to the ground. "but... I like you too."

you and maki sat on the bench together for awhile, just talking casually. you even made her smile

it started slowly, but you and her got together as a couple. if you had any bullies for your shyness... they're not a problem anymore

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

-Mod Kirumi

actually crying rn

[justmultifandom]

Kidge summer event 2023

Day 28: Overprotective

Pidge had by now bitterly regretted having let Nadia have the freedom to get her a dress thinking and hoping that the woman would take pity on her by getting her a rather simple dress that reached at least her knees. When she handed her a paper bag from the store at the mall where she went to buy it, she said it would be perfect for Pidge and she would never regret it. Well, that same evening Nadia had organized a party for Pidge in honor of her 18th at a disco club (she didn't agree at all, explaining that she wanted a small party with few friends and people) and, in front of the mirror, she was cursing her brain for having thought such a ridiculous thing to ask Nadia to get her a freaking dress. She sighed, in front of the mirror, putting her hands on her hips and trying to pull her skirt down as much as possible, trying at least to hide her thighs or at least get it just below her bottom. The dress, if you could call it that, was a classic tight black short (very short) sleeveless dress that enhanced her little curves, a small black cord was tied around her neck and hooked to the fabric. The dress itself was straight, so there was no real skirt, but it was still so short that she had to walk around pulling the fabric down for fear it would bare her bum. She felt really uncomfortable with that thing on, but she took a deep breath and held it up at least to make Nadia happy. She sighed and walked out of her parents' house, Ryan's car in front of her. “You are absolutely gorgeous!”: Nadia yelled, rolling down the passenger window: “Get in, birthday girl!” Pidge took a slow breath as she got into the car. In less than five minutes she was sitting at the table, a strawberry mint soft drink as she watched all the MFEs and other people she had known at the garrison frolicking in the disco or talking animatedly. In that moment she felt a bit left out, considering it was her birthday party and she should have been the one having the fun. In fact, it was Nadia herself who had arranged everything and so suddenly. But she would also have expected to find the ex Voltron team as well. "I don't know if anyone has already told you this. Happy birthday”: Pidge turned to the man who had just sat next to her. “Keith!”: She exclaimed in surprise, hugging him tightly: ”I thought Nadia didn't invite you!” “I wasn't actually invited. Veronica invited Acxa and she told me about it. Let's say I invited myself,” he explained. "That's better! I couldn't stand it anymore…": she snorted, looking around and seeing that people weren't calculating them in the slightest: "How about we sneak out?" "Sounds like a great idea to me": he whispered, getting up and walking slowly towards the exit. She wasted no time in wrapping his arm smiling, walking slowly and looking at the starless sky due to the pollution of the city. "Thanks for coming": Pidge smiled, looking at him: "I couldn't have lasted another second longer.." “I'm of the opinion that you should spend your birthday well”: he replied: “We missed a lot of celebrations on the ATLAS and in space…” “Yes… you're right”: she chuckled, returning serious with a slightly frightened expression as they arrived in front of a slightly dark street, full of pubs and probably drunk people, laughter and pieces of glass falling to the ground in the background. One look was enough for Keith to understand what was happening. He took a deep breath, took off his jacket and gave it to her to cover herself up, then placing a hand on her shoulder and dragging her towards another, more lit street. “Come on, let's go this way” he said, guiding her and feeling her fear slowly diminish “Thanks Keith..” “Always, Katie…”

[infunred]

TEST 4: A DATE WITH MARKIPLI- I MEAN THE AMAZING ONE

It was a perfect day, because of course it was. Casey would have threatened the sky if it meant clearing the clouds. But luckily there was no need. They sit in a local coffee shop, dressed way too nicely for just hanging out. But they got too excited and wanted to impress Max. So much so that they showed up an hour early to make sure everything was perfect. And weirdly enough, most everyone has left except for the workers. Casey now sits, leg bouncing, waiting for Max to arrive.

Max slams open the door, rushing in, the bell ringing loudly above the door and startling Casey. He frantically looks around before spotting Casey and making an effort to slowly walk over like a normal member of society. Keyword: effort. “Hi, i'm so so so sorry i'm late, I was helping out a friend with a favor and I lost track of time and I really didn’t get any sleep last night and-” 

Considering Casey is the only customer currently in the shop, Max does not pull off the cool transition well. He tries to take a deep breath to stop breathing so damn fast. He’s a bit out of shape. “And I’m really sorry I wasted your time like that” Max is really only 20 minutes late, but to him it feels like 2 hours. “How um, how are you?” Although he was late, it didn't bother Casey as much as they thought that it should, and they gave him a wide smile. "No need to apologize!" They (not so subtly) show off the fancy dress they wore for the evening. "It's nice of you to help out a friend, and you weren't too late, I was only just getting bored." 

They responded with a giggle, "I'm great. Especially now that you're here."

Casey is full flung head over heels at the sight of Max.

“Awwww, that’s so sweet of you to say!” Max’s face flushes. “I have to say, you look absolutely magnificent. I especially love the stitching and embroidery at the hem. I’ve never seen you wear a dress like that before but it looks almost like it was made for you.”

The dress was made for them. They had their tailor make something just for today.

“Where did you buy i- uhh, I mean… uh… never mind, I’m sure you don’t want to discuss fashion with a guy like me” Max laughs nervously.

"Oh- uhm I bought it at…Claire's?" It was a lie. They got it from their personal tailor. "Thank you so much for the compliments! I know it's a little fancy for a cafe but I wanted to impress you."

Max very well knows that dresses aren’t sold at Claire’s. “Um, Claire’s, huh. Well you’re very lucky… Was it like a promotion or something?”

Casey has no clue what to say as they have little knowledge on what Claire’s actually sells. The safe answer would be ‘Yes, something like that,’ but then again, this is Casey Briar. Completely unpredictable and incredible at embarrassing themself. Hide your washing machines.

“I’ll stop asking about the dress, I'm being kinda weird” Max rubs the back of his neck.

"No! No, you're fine! I honestly like being able to talk to someone about dresses, no one I know really cares about fashion." Casey looks at their hands in their lap.

Max stammers. “I, ha, I mean, I don’t…um” 

"Are you not into fashion?" Casey frowned.

“Ah, um. I mean, “ Max hears a slight ringing in their ear. They should really open up to Casey, they only mean the best. “Yes, I’m into fashion,” he takes a deep breath. The ringing stops. “At least sort of, I mean, I don’t really care about…Well, any of the modern stuff I suppose. it’s all kinda… sweatshop-y? No one does their stitching right and it bothers me because like, I can see it right? Like it’s right in front of my eyeballs. I can see the effects of slave labour and just, it feels like no one ever cares to pay attention to it? I mean, everyone has like 40 print tees with dumb brands on them, and yet if you destroy one of their beloved graphic tees, half the time they wouldn’t even notice? I mean hell, half of it ends up in the landfill anyway. But the worst part is the clothes aren’t even good at being clothes, like. They fall apart in days, and they almost never darn nicely, and just. It sucks.” Max realizes. “Um… I’m rambling aren’t I, I’m sorry. I can shut up, I feel like I haven’t given you a chance to speak at all”

"No, I actually like listening to you. You know a lot." They tucked a stray strand of hair behind their ear. "And with such standards it makes me even more happy you complimented my dress earlier.."

Max smiles, relieved. “Aww, I mean, I feel like it’s the basics of ethical wear, but, sorry I keep putting my foot in my mouth. Yes, I really mean it about the dress, it’s magnificent. What do you think about fashion if I may ask?”

A blush made its way to Casey’s cheeks. "Uhm, I've never made clothes myself and most of mine are made by my tailor, but I really enjoy cute clothes. The ones that show off my waist, and fit well with my jewelry. I sometimes watch my tailor when he sews and I've tried it out once! I pricked my finger and he said I wouldn't be allowed to touch the needles again but it was so fun to see the dresses he made come together." They ended up rambling. "Ah, sorry, now I'm the one talking your ear off."

“Don’t worry about it, I think it’s super cool you hired a tailor. I did the same back when I was learning. It’s pretty easy once you know all the stitches, but you know, that takes a while.” Max relaxes a bit in his chair. “Hey, If ever you want help with an outfit and your tailor’s busy, feel free to give me a shout. I’m a bit of an amateur, but I know enough of the basics I’m sure I could lend a hand!” 

While the two chat, the workers behind the counter whisper among themselves before one finally walks around to the table. He nervously smiles and asks “Would you two like to order anything?”

"Yes please!" Casey started their very long and specific order that they order every time they come to this cafe. The workers already know their order but they still say it out loud every single time to their annoyance, 'just in case' they forget, even though they absolutely could just say 'my usual' and they'd get the same order. "Did you get all that? I can repeat it if needed." The waiter shakes his head and finishes drawing a squid in his notepad, because he knows if he doesn’t ‘write it down’ then Casey will repeat it, but he doesn’t mind. Helps him practice drawing. “Yup! Got it all down. Your usual!”

 Casey looks over. "What would you like, Max?"

“I’m really sorry, I uh, don’t know what the drinks on this menu are… Um, do you guys have frozen drinks? Like a frappe?”

“Well, yes we do, but we don’t call them frappe’s. Well no, we’re not supposed to call them frappe’s. They’re called…” the waiter sighs “Réveil Glacé…”

“Can I have a large er ‘Ruhvale Glass eh’?”

“We don’t have large’s we have Cup, Mug, and Vase. A large is a vase.”The waiter looks more and more miserable as he explains the shop's poor wording.

“A um, a ‘vaws’ of that previous drink then?” Max says, very sure he butchered the pronunciation.

“It’s- it’s just Vase. Like- something you put flowers in. It’s not French.”

“Oh um,” Max blushes. “Right. That then.”

The waiter nods and heads back behind the counter to make the drinks.

Casey tries to contain their laughter, failing, as they try to soothe Max. "It's okay hun, your pronunciation was amazing. I'm so proud of you." Max clearly looks EXHAUSTED from that exchange. 

“Fr- f- French is really hard Casey. It- it’s my worst subject…” He frowns.

"That's okay, it doesn't make you any less amazing." Casey is fluent in French, their mother made them learn it because it was a ‘dignified language’. They’re being kind to Max right now.

“We’ve only been studying it 4 years, it’s no fair they want me to understand whole entire sentences.” It’s completely fair for the school to expect them to understand full sentences, in fact it’s a miracle Max made it to French 4.

Casey almost laughed at that, but they held themself together. "It's okay, do you want me to tutor you? I'm. Pretty decent at French."

Max smiles. “That would be nice. I don’t know if it’s ahead of your learning, but if you can help me with passay ant-earier, I might be able to start on my assignment.”

"... I'm sure I can help you, don't worry." Casey had absolutely no clue what he was attempting to say in French. The narrator doesn’t know either. It also seems Max doesn’t.

The waiter walks back again two drinks in hand. One that looks to be a mountain of treats on top of coffee and the other, a usual frappe. He sets them down and asks “Would you two like anything else?”

"Yes, can we have a few cookies?" Casey asks, clasping their hands together.

“Sure! We have chocolate chip, sugar, raisin, double chocolate, vanilla, macaroons, macadamia nut, almond, and honey crisp.”

"Are you allergic to nuts, Max?"

“Just peanuts, the rest are fine, if you know there is no peanut oil or anything”

"Uh." Casey turns to the waiter, "Can we have all of them except for the ones with peanut oil?"

The waiter nods. “Sounds good! One of each or two?”

"Two, please!"

He smiles and says “coming up!” And quickly heads to the cookie display. The waiter comes back with a large plate of cookies and says “Enjoy!” Before heading back to the counter

“Hey Um. Thanks for all this.” Max fidgets with his hands. “I wouldn’t have ever thought to do something nice like this on my own and it’s really nice to be able to take a break from all the messiness in my life. Well, most of the messiness anyway.” He smiles. “You’re a really good person, Casey. I mean I’m sure you get that all the time but, I still think it needs to be said.” Despite being told that every day, for once it’s obvious that Max truly means it.

"Actually, I don't hear it that much.." Casey’s face goes red. "You're the first to, like, actually say I'm a nice person and not say it just cuz there's something to gain from being friends with me." This time, they looked from their hands and smiled at Max. "Thank you so much. If you ever need a break, you have my number, I'll always make time for you. Even if it's the end of the world."

Max blushes. “That’s really sweet. Though, the end of the world may come sooner than we think. Whole lot of capes these days and their powers can be anything. I heard one guy can freeze everything for half a mile around… All I’m saying is- you mean a lot to me, so take care of yourself, okay?”

The way he talked about capes caused them to pause, not sure how to respond. They just said, "Thank you. You too, Max. You mean a lot to me too."

The sky starts to turn red as the sun goes down. “We will close soon, just so you know.” the waiter calls out.

"Oh! Time flew by, huh? Well, I'm sure you have other things to do so we can call it a day?"

“Oh, yeah! Maybe text me sometime, again and um, I’ll, uh. Um.”

Casey giggles, "I'll text you." Then, they leaned over and pressed a small kiss on Max’s cheek. "See you, Maxie. This was fun!"

The narrator screams. Max is completely speechless.

Casey’s phone rings and after checking it, it appears to be their mother. Their wonderful time just got crushed, their mom was wanting to know where they were and why they weren't home. As they read the texts their face fell, it appeared she had been texting for hours at this point and they hadn't checked. There was no way they were getting off easy when they got home. They whispered under their breath. “Fuck.” The phone falls silent as the call finally stops. Right after it starts to ring again. Casey knows she won’t call a third time.

They quickly rushed out the door, waving goodbye to Max. As the door swings shut, Casey looks back to meet Max’s eye. Their eyes are full of tears, and their face is pale. Then the door shuts and the waiter looks to Max. “Don’t worry about paying, they prepaid and what not. I hope you had a lovely day!” 

Casey takes the call. "Yes, mother?"

“Where are you?” The voice is cold.

"I'm on my way home, I'm sorry, I didn't see the texts until now."

“I don’t want to have to wait for you. Either fly home or tell the driver where you are, we have dinner in 30 minutes and you will not be late. We are having very important guests over.”

"I'm sorry, I'll be home." They kept their voice from breaking mid sentence.

Casey’s mother hangs up, and the driver soon texts “Where may I pick you up?”

Casey sends the address to their driver and waits, their dress was now wet from their tears and it made them even more frustrated. Even though they wanted this date to end well, nothing does for them, they wonder why they got their hopes up from the beginning. The driver soon arrives, and when seeing the sight of Casey as they climb into the car she looks a little sad. She says quietly

 “There are tissues in the door, dear. And….your mother requested you change into the outfit she chose. It should be on the seat next to you.”

"Thank you." They whispered to the driver and wiped the tear stains from their face. They were glad they wore water-proof makeup or else their dress would be even more ruined. The dress their mother chose wasn't ugly, it was a fancy dress that they knew she made to suit her child, but they hated it because it didn't feel like theirs. It made them frustrated. They put it on anyway, knowing that they'd get in trouble if they didn't.

They arrive at the entrance of the Briar residence, Casey’s mother waiting impatiently. “You look lovely, dear.”

END.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 25 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Wren Ridley

My brother Robin texted me exactly one hundred twelve times until I finally agreed to FaceTime him.

When I called and asked him what was so urgent he just said he was bored and missed me, which I clearly didn't buy.

He had just spent the last ten minutes talking absolute nonsense that I didn't care about and now we were on the subject of Thanksgiving.

"You're actually coming home for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

It seemed like a waste of time and energy to me.

He went to school all the way in LA, so he would have to get on a five or six hour flight during the busiest time of the year just to be home for a few days.

Then it would only be a couple more weeks before he would be flying home for winter break.

"I wasn't going to but Mom made me feel guilty about it," Robin said.

"She has this grand idea that we're all going to be together and watch Fox play hockey, which I guess that will be kind of nice. I try to keep up with his games but they're on so late here."

He was doing more than I was.

I was in the same time zone as Fox and I didn't even think about tuning into one of his games.

We were only an hour or so away from each other and I hadn't even thought about going to one.

"Speaking of Fox," Robin continued.

"He's calling me now. I'm going to add him to our chat."

Before I could say anything, Robin was adding Fox to the call and his face popped up a moment later.

He wore a scowl like usual, his eyes narrowed as he looked into the screen.

"What's up?" Robin asked him.

"What do you mean 'what's up?' You texted me like eighty times to call you," Fox exclaimed.

"I thought you were dying or something."

"I was," Robin replied.

"Of boredom and I missed you guys. You weren't busy, were you?"

"I was on the phone with Ian," Fox told him.

"And how is that ray of sunshine?"

I was about to hang up.

Sitting here and listening to the two of them talk wasn't my idea of something fun, not when I could be doing literally anything else.

"Fine I guess," Fox said.

"We were talking about his hockey game. He got in a fight with that Landon kid..." and now I was all ears.

"Hockey is so barbaric," I said in a bored tone, though I was quite intrigued by the conversation.

Fox scoffed.

"It's just part of the game."

"It's part of the game to take out your personal frustrations on an opposing player?"

I knew that would only get him angry but I wasn't going to pretend like I understood the violence that took place in that sport.

"It makes it entertaining," Robin interjected.

He always put himself in the middle of Fox and me, trying to diffuse situations where the two of us were on our way to fighting.

"So Ian just fought the Landon kid for entertainment?" I asked.

"I don't fucking know, Wren," Fox replied, clearly frustrated.

"Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't," I said too quickly.

It was a good thing Fox wasn't someone who picked up on that sort of thing but Robin was and I could see his expression change on the screen.

Luckily he knew not to say anything in front of our brother.

If he did say something, I didn't know if I could explain it away.

I could barely even rationalize my feelings about Landon to myself.

I wasn't used to caring about someone other than myself or my family.

It was something I tended to avoid, keeping all my relationships casual but I cared for Landon and couldn't understand it.

I didn't like not understanding my own feelings.

I didn't like that showing him I cared for him made me feel vulnerable.

The more I thought about it, the more it made me feel sick.

So why did I care that Landon got into a fight with Ian?

I shouldn't.

This was a guy that had tried to pick fights with me since I had known him, a guy who had even punched me once.

I had seen him fight before.

I knew he could fight but it was just a huge reminder that there was still a lot of hostility between Landon and Fox, so much so that Fox's own best friend felt the need to fight for him.

"At least it was someone who deserved it, right?" Robin said lightheartedly, trying to ease the tension.

It did nothing to ease the tension coming from me.

I was sick of Landon and other people apparently, feeling like bad things happening to him were deserved.

They didn't know him like I did.

They never would.

To them, he was the same kid from last year that acted like a villain.

"But now I have to live up to that," Fox replied.

"What?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

I hoped he didn't mean what I thought he did.

Not only was it childish and stupid to pick a fight with Landon when he played against him, it was underserved.

"If Ian fought him for what happened last year, now I have to fight him," Fox continued.

"And why is that?"

"I was the Captain of that team, Wren," he said.

"I'm failing to see how that's important," I told him.

"It's not like you're still in high school. Nobody else but you cares about any of that."

"And he treated my boyfriend like shit, just a reminder," Fox shot back.

"Didn't he apologize for that?" I asked.

"I do remember Elijah saying he wanted to coexist with Landon. That'll be pretty hard if you're just going to target him every time you see him."

"Oh, you mean like he did to us?" Fox snapped.

"Again, why do you care?"

"I don't," I said.

"I just think it's stupid and you're going to get yourself hurt and in trouble with your boyfriend."

"Are you really trying to get into a hockey fight in front of Mom and Dad?" Robin asked him.

I had nearly forgotten that Fox would be playing against Landon during Thanksgiving break, meaning I would have to be present for this as well.

"Dad will think it's funny," Fox said with a shrug.

Robin eventually turned the conversation to something else while I sat there and cursed at myself for the conversation I just had with Fox.

It was a good thing he wasn't all that bright, for my sake anyway, otherwise I would be having a lot more explaining to do.

[thats-soo-olive]

about olive.

name. olive soo pronouns. she/her age. 36 gender. cis woman occupation. front desk at seascape hotel // professional mermaid (part-time) hometown. aurora bay cities lived in. aurora bay // ???? (intentionally vague for now for plotting flexibility) languages. english // korean // very basic asl likes. the ocean // sewing // witchy stuff dislikes. being late // plastic waste // cooking

BIO.

(death, abuse.)

Olive was born to Jin-ho and Donna Soo. Her father moved with his family to America when he was a kid, while her mom was adopted from South Korea as a baby. Although Olive is the oldest of the Soo daughters, the age difference between her and Gabrielle was so small that she's always been a big sister. Growing up in a beautiful ocean town, Olive was happy. She was drawn to the ocean, and would easily spend all day at the beach if her parents let her. If she wasn't at the ocean, she was at the city pool (or at a richer friend's house who had their own pool). She loved swimming and being in the water

When Olive was nine, her parents agreed to let her start swimming competitively. She absolutely loved it! As she got older, she joined her middle school swim team and then the high school team. She enjoyed challenging herself to beat her own best times, and the friendly competition between her and other swimmers (even if sometimes she maybe got carried away in the competition...)

Growing up, she was always told that she was mature for her age, or wise beyond her years, or any other cliches that meant she got good grades and didn't act out. As a teenager, she felt frustrated to then still be treated like a kid when she felt she was practically an adult. And while she still loved living in a coastal town, she had never experienced anything else.

(content: abuse, grooming) She befriended an older guy, a friend of a friend who had graduated Aurora Bay a couple years before she started her freshman year. He was twenty one and would buy her alcohol, and take her on adventures outside of their small town. When the abuse started, she didn't understand what was happening or why it made her confused and sad.

(content: alcohol and drug use) To cope with what was happening, Olive had two escapes; parties and the water. She spent most of her time training and when that didn't work, she'd get drunk or high. A lot of the time, her parents had no idea where she was for hours at a time. This led to a lot of fighting between them and Olive, and they had no idea what to do with her behavior or why she was acting out.

Olive started to see the consequences of her partying in the pool as well. Her times and scores at swim meets weren't bad by any means, but she knew they weren't her best. So while she didn't completely stop, she cut out the drug use and eased up on the alcohol. Getting a swim scholarship to get away from her messy life in Aurora Bay was the goal, and she put everything into that.

And she succeeded! Getting a full ride to swim for a Division II school far away from California, she left Aurora Bay. In college, she had a well rounded swim/class/social life balance and she was thriving. But as she got a clearer head, she realized she hadn't exactly been the daughter or sister of the year for almost a decade. She barely talked to her family at all after her freshman year of college, and she'd left Gabrielle completely on her own. Her intentions had been good, she had just wanted to keep her younger sister safe, but she knew that wasn't the way Gabrielle had experienced events. She wanted to reach out and explain everything and apologize, but she also felt like that was selfish. It was clear from social media posts that Gabrielle was doing great, and Olive didn't want to ruin that peace.

During college, she started going to anime conventions with some of her friends. And then she started doing group cosplays with them. She'd always liked sewing, and making challenging costumes for herself and her friends was fun. And then she got into cosplay competitions and found she really enjoyed it. Her costumes always performed well at cons, and she learned how to style wigs, improve makeup skills, style props, model and act in-character. While she wasn't famous, her cosplay page on social media had a good sized following. But she retired from the scene in her early 30s, as she got tired of all the con drama.

About a year after she had officially quit cosplay, she got a message from an old con friend. Her friend's daughter was turning four and they wanted to throw her a Disney princess birthday party. They knew Olive had a Mulan cosplay and offered to pay her to come to the party in character and costume. Not wanting to say no to an adorable kid and needing the money, she agreed to do it. This led to more people asking her to do birthday parties in different costumes, and she enjoyed still having an outlet to use her cosplay skills.

The jump to professional mermaid was gradual yet still somehow unexpected. She always thought it would be fun to play mermaid. It looked so pretty and interesting, and she had an extensive background as a swimmer (and a licensed scuba diver). After a few glasses of wine one night, she finally bit the bullet and bought the tail she'd been eyeing for a year. From there, the mermaid costumes took on a life of their own. She bought new wigs, spent hours trying out different waterproof make up looks, and found herself booking less and less general costumed looks and more mermaid-based stuff

A lot of professional mermaid gigs are educational jobs about marine life and plastic waste in the ocean, so she became more passionate about the ocean as a positive side-effect of her new hobby. Admittedly, this made her a little home sick for the first time. Sometimes she thought about going back and starting to patch things up with her family. She didn't really have any bad blood with them, she just...turned around and never looked back even though they had been good to her, and she was regretting it now.

(content: terminal illness, death) She wasn't expecting Gabrielle to suddenly contact her after so long of not speaking, but she soon found out why. Gabrielle was extremely sick and didn't think she had much time left. Initially, Olive didn't believe anything would happen to her sister. She flew back to Aurora Bay, only planning on staying for a few days, but then she saw how sick Gabrielle really was and extended her visit. The two siblings made up, and Olive is grateful they had that opportunity, but is still upset she lost out on most of her sister's life. She feels it's entirely her fault. She also feels like it was her job to keep Gabrielle safe and she failed to do that, even though she knows there's nothing she could have done to prevent her sister's illness.

Olive soon realized that not having a sibling anymore didn't mean she was done being an older sister. Gabrielle had left behind a young daughter and a husband who was now trying to navigate being a single father while grieving. She didn't have to think very long before she decided she'd go back to the city she'd been living in, pack up her life, and go back to her hometown to help Kaede and Layla.

misc info.

She's never tried to go full time with the mermaid thing for a few reasons. It's a huge career risk, and she thinks she enjoys it more now as a hobby than she ever would if she was relying on it to keep a roof over her head

Olive's never really been career oriented in general. She'll do whatever job sounds most fun to her and pays well enough to keep her satisfied

Got a job working the front desk of Seascape Hotel because she had relevant job and life experience, and because she wants to feel like she's in White Lotus minus all of the dead bodies.

Halloween is her favorite holiday

She's pagan, with a specialty in reading tarot cards, but she also likes candle magic and crystals

She's pretty upbeat and kind, but has a big competitive side that can get kind of ugly

Has a habit of talking too fast

wanted connections.

childhood friends. olive grew up in aurora bay so characters around 34-38 in age that are also aurora natives could have been some of her friends growing up

people she knew in the outside world. calling it the outside world makes aurora bay sound like a cult but whatever. i intentionally didn't say where she lived after she left aurora bay to leave it open for some connections. former classmates, previous roommates, old flames, the sky is the limit

con friends. olive went to anime conventions all around the country, so she made friends in tons of different cities.

beach friends. people she hangs out with at the beach, because you better believe she's spending a lot of time there now that she's back!

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Enough For You - Chapter 2

Enough For You Chapter List

It was only a few days after his return that Steve asked to see your grave - at the very minimum he owed it to you to pay his respects. He hadn't allowed himself to cry yet, he knew if he did there was a good chance he'd never stop.

So there they stood in front of your grave. Or so they thought. The three great loves of your life.

The one that got away.

The one you'd built a life with.

And your entire heart, your son.

Bucky never really went anywhere without him, only when absolutely necessary did he ever call any of your friends to watch him. Grant was his pride and joy. He liked to be by his side constantly, watching him, protecting him.

He didn't bring him here often. Bucky felt that he was too young to understand and bringing him here didn't help that. It wasn't like he liked being here either, he didn't feel any closer to you here.

Being here felt like more of a reminder that you were gone than a way to feel closer to you. There were spots that he had, places where he felt like he could talk to you and you'd listen, this was just not one of those places.

Like the bed you shared, Bucky often woken up thinking you'd be there, holding him. Sometimes he swore he could still smell your fresh scent clinging to the sheets.

Or the rope swing you insisted that he put up on the tree in the front lawn. For Grant, you joked, though he was much too young for it then. And once he was old enough to sit up on his own, you'd put him on your lap and you'd swing together for hours, laughing and having the time of your lives. To him it was a metaphor - after all the swing was just a rope and a plank of wood. You'd turned it into something beautiful, a memory that he'd forever cling to. It reminded him of who you were.

Or on the dock, where you used to waste the day away. That was when he felt closest to you. Not here.

And Steve, the only solace he had right now was getting to know his son, getting to see the incredible little person that the two of you created.

And though he'd never admit it, it bothered him that Bucky was so close and so good at parenting his son.

The car ride home was almost silent, except for Grant's light snoring. He'd tired himself out running back and forth on the way to the car. After putting him in bed for his nap and grabbing the baby monitor, Bucky sat with Steve in a tense silence that Bucky was not inclined to break.

The whole thing sets his teeth on edge. For the darkest, most blasphemous reasons that Bucky can barely admit to himself.

Bucky warned him, told him to think about what he was doing. Think about who he was letting go. You didn't get that.

Bucky didn't get to warn you about leaving the house that night. He'd kissed you, unknowingly shared your final 'I love you's', and watched you walk out the door. You were just going to the grocery store, that's it. You weren't leaving on a mission, there was no danger in a trip to the store. You liked to go alone, said it was easier than having a fussy toddler in the cart, Bucky always insisted that he go with you, but you always told him it was faster alone.

He always teased you that the only reason you liked going alone was because it was your only opportunity to take your sports car instead of the mini van.

Steve knew what he was doing, what would happen. Neither of you knew that you were going to be in a violent car crash. He didn't know that he'd never see you again. He'd never hear you laughing. He'd never dance in front of the crackling fireplace with you again. He didn't know until the police showed up at your door, saying you were gone. DOA.

He knows it isn't right, he shouldn't feel this way about his best friend. Steve simply thought he was doing the right thing for himself.

But how is any of this fair?

How does Steve get to come back and you don't? Why does Steve get to undo his mistake, but you'll never get the chance to hold your son again?

That he'll never get the chance to propose with the ring he'd been holding onto for months?

How is it fair that 2 men, who've already lived over 100 years, get to be here and you don't? You, who had so much life to live. You hadn't even made it to 30 and you were dead.

There was so much Bucky wanted to do with you, wanted to experience with you. You'll never walk down the aisle to him. You'll never have the kids the two of you talked about. You'll never grow old together. How is any of it fair?

Strangely, Bucky knew the second he saw you and Steve talking that day what was going to happen. He knew that Steve wasn't coming back. And somewhere deep down, he knew that Steve would regret it. Why does Steve get to fix those regrets, but you and Bucky can't?

So he kept quiet, because he worried that the second he opened his mouth that he'd share those very dark thoughts. He'd tell Steve exactly what he felt, and how that would truly burn their last bridge.

Silence was something he was used to by now. Whenever Grant wasn't up, when Bucky was really alone, it was always silent.

Bucky didn't sleep much anymore. With you he'd worked his way up to almost a full 8 hours, now he was lucky if he got an hour. He thought it was better that way because whenever he closed his eyes, even for the briefest moment, he'd see flashes of your life.

He'd see the photographs of the horrific accident that took your life. He didn't play the piano you'd surprised him with after finding out Bucky knew how to play.

He didn't use the record player that you'd given him for his birthday. Nor did he ask FRIDAY to turn on the fireplace. The quiet made sense without you. It was good, he told himself. He was okay with sitting in the silent loss that surrounded him.

Apparently Steve did not feel the same way, though Steve was always a little better at communicating than Bucky was.

All Steve wanted to know was how they went forward from here, he couldn't sit in the loss of you. He had to look forward just to be able to live with himself. He missed out on so much, now he wanted to take every chance he got to raise his son. "Now what? I don't want to intrude, but it's not like I have anywhere else to go. Or I can find a place close by, he could stay there with me."

"Who said you're taking him anywhere? I promised her I'd always take care of him. I intend to keep that promise."

"Look, I'm not asking you to break your promise, but I'm here now. I deserve a chance to raise my own son."

"You don't deserve a thing. No one asked you to come back, but here you are. So if you want to stay with us, fine. Don't expect me to be thrilled about it, but I'll make it work. For him. But if you think for one second that you can just barge back in and take over, you're mistaken. You will not take my son away from me."

"Actually, he's not your son. He's my son," Steve corrected.

"Your son? And who are you to him?" Bucky asked angrily. "No, really I want to know, what are you to him? A sperm donor? The strange man who just showed up out of the blue? The man who didn't love his mother enough to stay? I've been there. Me. I did the diaper changes, the ER trips, the late nights, I took care of him when he was sick, I was there holding her hair back when she had morning sickness every damned day. Fuck, I was in the room when he was born, where were you? The 40's. You may be a father, but you're not his dad. I'm his dad. Me. My son."

And he wasn't sure if it was divine intervention preventing the two of them from getting into a fight or just really good timing, but his phone rang. Bucky held up a finger to stop him. "Pepper's calling."

"Pepper?"

"She wouldn't call if it wasn't important. I told you I'm not really involved with the team anymore," Bucky explained, before walking outside, baby monitor still in hand, to avoid waking his son.

"Wait!" Steve followed him. Annoyed that Steve wouldn't let him just answer the phone, Bucky kept walking. "Why not?"

"Because I had a son to raise. A kid that needed me more than the Avengers did. I don't understand how you don't understand that."

Steve was about to reply, but Bucky answered the phone. After several grunts and short, clipped replies, he hung up the phone. "She needs me."

"For what?"

"She wouldn't tell me over the phone." It was true. Pepper refused to say what was so urgent that she needed him at her home right away. But Bucky trusted Pepper, he trusted her judgement. If she said it was important, it was important.

"And?"

"And I'm going to go find out."

"What happened to all that talk about being a parent?"

Instead of replying, Bucky turned on his heels and headed back for the house. Like adding salt to the wound, Steve's amazed at the way Bucky got everything ready for Grant. It seemed like he thought of ever single scenario that could possibly happen and had a solution to it.

As Bucky got everything together, he tried to calm himself. He tried to think of what you would do if Steve had come back when you were alive. You'd probably be nicer than Steve deserved out of you.

Bucky did not for one second feel bad, but he could understand how overwhelming this all must be for Steve. Coming back in the wrong time again. Finding out he had a son. Finding out you were dead.

Slightly taking pity on Steve after seeing the overwhelmed look on his face as he packed Grant's bag, he offered him a small, reluctant smile. "It was a lot of trial and error. And it was a lot worse when he was a newborn, there were a lot of accidents - and diaper bags."

Steve slightly smiles, but still feels the depth of how much he's missed out on.

Bucky offers no more reassurance, and takes the bags putting it in the trunk of the car. Double checking that he has everything that the little boy could need for the next few days. He's not sure where he'll leave Grant, it depends on what they need from him. If it's only a few days, he's positive that Pepper or Wanda could watch him. Or if they're all staying at the tower, he doesn't like the idea of leaving his son there. Not one bit, but at least there he'll be safe, taken care of.

He double checks that all Grant's comfort items are there, so even he can't be with him, his son will be okay.

That's really all that matters to him these days.

After double and triple checking, he goes to grab Grant- and Steve. He finds Steve in Grant's room, and though his son is supposed to be sleeping, he's up watching TV. Bucky's kind of upset that Grant's schedule is completely distorted with all the excitement and irregularity, but he says nothing.

It was amazing watching all of the anger and tension leave Bucky when he interacted with Grant, Steve had known Bucky a long time, but never once did he ever see Bucky react to another person like that, except maybe you. He kneels down to Grant's level. Cleans him up. Changes him out of his pajamas, then explains that they're going to be making a trip. "Come on, bud. We're gonna go see Aunt Pepper and Morgan."

Then they were off. And little did Steve Rogers know that kids could talk about everything. About anything. For a very, very long time, or at least until they tired themselves out.

That's the entire first hour of the trip, the two men listening to Grant. Bucky knows that this is Grant's way of fighting off the way that long car rides lull him to sleep.

The second hour begins with Bucky's eyes flickering back and forth between the road and his son, now quietly snoring after talking Steve's ear off about how excited he was to see Morgan and Pepper. And about his favorite movie. And his favorite toy at the moment. And about a million more things that would've made you laugh as you very intently listened and clung to each word your son said.

He missed you so much, they both did. Even at such a young age, he knew that Grant felt the loss of his mother. And Bucky's only reason for existing was now dwindled down to that little boy.

"A mini van?" Steve quietly joked.

"It's not my mini van- it's..." he trailed off. He still had such a hard time saying your name. It hurt, it hurt so much more than he was willing to admit. "Besides, you can't attach a car seat to a bike."

Seeing the pain flicker in Bucky's eyes, Steve comments jokingly, "I can't believe she gave up her sports car for a mini van."

This time Bucky laughs, he'd made the same comment when he saw the mini van instead of the cherry red sports car in the driveway. You simply laughed him off, saying you weren't giving up your car, it was just going to be in the garage from then on. "She changed a lot when Grant was born. I mean, she took to being a mom so naturally. I mean, two former assassins- turned- parents? I didn't think I stood a chance, but she made it look so easy. She made it easy for me."

With that the mood became solemn again. Steve took a minute to think about you as a parent. How much he would have liked to see you pregnant with his kid. Or holding Grant. Or anything really as long as he got to see you again.

The mood felt too heavy for either of them, so Steve decided that the least he could do was alleviate some of the tension. "Is it wrong that I could only understand half of what he said?"

Bucky laughed, really laughed again. "Toddler gibberish - it can get kind of complicated, especially when he makes up words for things, but you get used to it. Don't be fooled though, he's really smart for his age. We had a hell of a time when he started walking, didn't even crawl really just went straight to running. Anyway, he figured out the freaking child locks, most of them anyway, we had to take shifts watching him 24/7."

Steve laughed too. He could practically see the two of you running around the house, always watching this tiny human wreak havoc.

"Are they going to be upset that I'm back?"

"I don't know," Bucky answered honestly. "We, I don't see them very often. After, we both took a step back to deal with everything and we just, well, we never wanted to go back. So you're guess is as good as mine."

"The Avengers are a family, that's what I don't get. Why were you both so okay with leaving them behind?"

"What family, Steve? You left. Tony, Nat, Vision, they're all gone. Pepper took over, but there wasn't much to pull together anymore. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to stick around. There wasn't much of a family left for anyone to stick around for."

"So you don't see anyone?"

"Occasionally. I try to keep Grant away, if only for his safety."

"I didn't think about it like that."

"I know."

A silence fell upon the car again. And this time, no one broke it. And for the first time in their very long lives, Bucky and Steve truly had nothing to say to each other. They didn't share knowing looks, inside jokes, there was however, a shared sadness over their dead kinship.

Apparently when Steve left, he left a lot more damage than he thought he would have.

Once they arrive, Bucky goes right back into parent mode.

Bucky unbuckled the sleeping child in the back, very careful not to wake him, and rested him on his chest. Steve is downright envious that Bucky knows exactly when and how to soothe Grant. How when the boy jolted from being picked up, Bucky knew to cradle the back of his head. How he knew to gently rub his back to keep him asleep as they made their way inside Pepper's home.

"Oh my God," Pepper whispered, completely shocked to see her old friend standing there after he'd left them all those years ago. It took her exactly one moment to bounce back from the initial shock that Steve Rogers was back. She guided Bucky to the spare room where he could place the sleeping child. She took in the sight before him, the last time she'd seen Steve was at Tony's funeral.

Steve gently embraced Pepper, warmly greeting her after all the time he'd apparently missed.

"Morgan's really excited to see Grant again, though I'm pretty sure she's expecting a baby. I mean, what are you feeding him? He's gotten so big," she remarked to Bucky when he came back into the room.

Bucky chuckled, playfully clutching his chest. "Don't do that. You'll break my heart. In my head, he's still a baby. I'd like it to stay that way."

Steve couldn't help but feel left out of this entire interaction. And the way Bucky spoke, it was so different than the Bucky he knew. This was dad-Bucky. A side of him he'd never really seen from his friend.

It's a little more pointed once they finish catching up. Bucky's the one that asks the question, why did she call them? Bucky hasn't been seen in months since you died. All remaining Avengers attended your funeral, but he'd made it clear he intended to stay away, that your death was not going to mark a reunion between the Avengers.

Pepper sighs, directing them to Tony's former office. "I thought you should see this."

She pulls up the screen, zooming in on some fuzzy security footage. But Bucky and Steve could recognize you from miles away, sure it's fuzzy, but they are all certain it's you.

There's no mistaking it, your distinct features and the way you carried yourself, it's you and they all know it.

The question is how. How was this possible when you were supposed to be dead. When Bucky himself saw you get put into the ground.

The scene is so familiar, it leaves Bucky dizzy with deja vu.

It was not long ago that they were watching his image on various security cameras that they'd hacked into.

It's stunning, the woman he loves so dearly, in the same position that he was in. It hurts him in a way that he didn't think he could be hurt anymore, in a way that he hadn't felt since he'd lost you. He blames himself, all the signs he missed flashing in his head. The coroner that insisted your body was too mangled for an open casket. He'd seen pictures of the car accident, but he should've pushed harder. Seen the body up close. He should've done more.

He staggers back, wordless.

"Bucky?" Pepper says, but her voice sounds so far away. What is he supposed to do with this?

"Mom?" They hear Morgan call from just outside the room, interrupting whatever they just stumbled on.

"Hi, honey. How was school?" she asks embracing her daughter.

She turns to embrace Bucky, out of all of the Avengers, Pepper was one he hadn't totally lost contact with since you passed.

Bucky knows how close you and Tony were, how you and Pepper helped each other through the grief. It helped that Morgan and Grant enjoyed spending time with each other, which made sense considering you and Tony used to be two peas in a pod.

Like adding more salt to an infected, festering wound, Morgan does not remember Steve, not really. The last time she was him was when at her father's funeral when she was barely 5 years old.

"This is Steve Rogers. Do you remember Steve? He used to work with your dad."

"Umm... a little."

The silence is awkward until Pepper sends Morgan upstairs to work on homework until Grant wakes up from his nap.

"How long have you been surveilling her?" Steve asks, while Bucky remains completely shell-shocked.

"From what I know she's only been active a couple weeks. They're not making much of an attempt to cover up her identity."

"You know there's a reason for that. They're trying to draw us out," Bucky finally says.

"So we go get her," Steve says like it's obvious. "We get her and bring her back to us."

Bucky can't help the way his head jolts at Steve's remark. Did he honestly think it was smart to just walk right into whatever this was?

He had other things to think about now, other responsibilities. Before you- you well whatever happened, you talked extensively about what you'd do in these scenarios.

You made it clear, no matter what happened Grant came first, the son you and Bucky shared came first. No matter what.

That was another reason that you were both okay with walking away from the team, neither felt the urge to tempt fate and ruin the little family you shared.

It killed Bucky- he desperately wanted to run to you. To get you back. To be able to have that happiness back, but he couldn't. There were other people who could bring you back to him. But he promised.

Bucky was all Grant had and Grant was all that Bucky had. He couldn't go walk into a burning building anymore without worrying anymore. If something happened to him, then who would Grant have?

And to him, that was enough to make his decision.

He turned around and walked out of the office, out of the house. He sighed in simultaneous anguish and relief as he felt the cool winter breeze hit him in the face. He doubles over, hand on his knees as he reels from all the news he just received.

"Bucky," Steve calls after him, it's only then that Bucky finally stands up. "Buck, where are you going?"

"You can go play hero all you want, but I have a kid to think about," Bucky says without turning around to face Steve.

Steve scoffs in complete disbelief, where was the man that claimed he loved you. He couldn't even begin to understand why Bucky wasn't jumping at the chance to get you back. "What? So you're not even going to try and get her back?"

"No, I'm not."

"Why not?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Steve."

Steve grabs for Bucky's shoulder, trying to get Bucky to look at him and possibly see reason. "How are you not jumping at this? We can have her back, Bucky. Do you even care about her? Or are you worried that once she's back, she won't go back to you?"

Bucky abruptly turns, right into Steve's face, and shoves him away. "Don't you dare question how much I loved her. You of all people have no right."

They're both in each other's faces very quickly. Getting equally angry and shouting in each other's face.

Both of the large men can hear Pepper shouting at them to stop, trying to get in between them before things start to get physical. "You two need to calm down. We've got two kids inside."

"Daddy?" the small voice calls from the porch.

His eyes immediately flicker to Grant, who once again is not sleeping, but watching his father and dad fight over his mother.

This instantly stops him.

He doesn't hesitate to walk away from Steve and jog up the stairs to tend to Grant. He gently scoops the boy up, gently cradling the back of his hand with his metal hand, whispering apologies in his ear that he had to see him angry like that.

Bucky takes several deep breaths as he holds his son, he briefly wonders when he lost that newborn smell on his head.

He misses it, he misses you.

He walks back inside and sits down on the couch, clutching his son like a lifeline. He's not sure if he's soothing himself or the young boy, but he does know that they both need it.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" Grant whispers in his ear.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?" Bucky whispers back.

He's not sure when the little boy developed the inclination for whispering, but for some reason he likes to think that his words are whispered secrets between the two of them.

You used to do that with him. He'd ask you a question in your ear and you'd play-whisper your response back. For some reason it always set the little boy into a fit of giggles, then you'd both start to laugh at Grant's laugh.

"'m okay. Are you mad at Stevie?"

Bucky's eyes flicker to Steve, who's watching the entire interaction. "No, I'm not mad at Stevie," he says to both his son and Steve, using the nickname that Grant gave him. "Just grownup stuff."

"Why doesn't Happy take you two to go get some pizza? Would you like that?" Pepper looks to Bucky for permission, and though he's reluctant to say yes, he knows that they will eventually need to hash out whatever is happening with you, and he definitely doesn't want his son to see him like that again.

"Can we, Daddy?" he gleefully asks, finally giving up on whispering.

Bucky sighs, but he's always had a hard time saying no to those big brown eyes. Your eyes. "Just stay with Morgan and Happy, okay?"

Like most children, Grant is unbelievably resilient - it's almost like nothing happened. He's bouncing with giddiness as Bucky straps him into his car seat and they drive off to whatever fast food place they beg Happy for.

Pepper is the one that approaches him this time. She gently rest her hand on his shoulder. "He needs her, Bucky. He needs his mom. And she needs you."

As he watches the car drive off, he doesn't turn around before asking, "So what do we do?"

Previous Chapter⏐Next Chapter

[saeransangel]

Elegance

Request: I can't find ur masterlist for the requests but maybe u could do an scenario with Jumin and a artist MC? Just some fluff, he seeing her work and joining in or just watching her 🥺 if that's not difficult.

This is such an adorable ask, I love it and I hope you like how I wrote it:)

There weren't many interesting things to do at Jumin's apartment when you first moved in. Some books that Jumin had collected over time, and wine. That was pretty much it. Since it was frowned upon to day drink everyday, you needed to find something to keep yourself occupied during the long days that your boyfriend was gone at work. Sure, Elizabeth the 3rd is great company, but you were on the verge of being stir crazy.

It was the weekend so Jumin was home with you to ease your boredom. You were both still in bed even though it was 10am. You were content staying in each others arms for the entire day, but Jumin was always up and moving doing something. You loved that about him to. He always worked so hard so you didn't have to lift so much as a finger.

You were suddenly broken out of your thoughts by a soft kiss being placed on your temple. You melted into Jumin's touch, knowing this was his way of saying it was time to get up. He gripped you hand as a stood up, pulling you with him. He was fully standing on the cold floors while you were sitting on your knees, still in bed, curiously facing him. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer until he was just inches away from your lips. You had been with Jumin for over a year and he still found a way to give you butterflies everyday. It was perfect.

"What do you want to do today, my love?" He asked.

"Hmmm..." You paused a moment thinking of something new to do with Jumin. Looking around at all of Jumin's expensive art work, your mind landed on a great idea. "Can we go to the art supplies store? I want to start painting again." You hummed.

He raised an eyebrow at you and smirked. "You enjoy painting, MC? I had no idea."

"Don't laugh, I'm actually quite good if I do say so myself." You giggled. You grabbed your phone to show him some pictures of paintings you've created over the years. You got a little embarrassed because they were not exactly fine art like Jumin collected, but they were pretty great. You gave Jumin your phone and allowed him to scroll through some pictures of your paintings.

After a long silence you began to get nervous. Did he not have anything good to say about your artwork? "So..?" you proded.

"Well, I think they're absolutely gorgeous. They aren't as stale and boring like the ones I collect. I had no idea a vibrant style such as this existed." He marveled.

You smiled brightly at his kind words. You were nervous to hear what he had to say but you were glad he was so kind and thoughtful about it.

Jumin told you to get dressed and he would have a driver pick the two of you up to take you to the store for supplies.

Quickly, you got dressed and met Jumin in the kitchen. The two of you got into the elevator and headed down to the parking garage where a driver was waiting for the two of you.

Once you got to the store, Jumin went a little overboard, which you thought was really sweet.

"MC, according to the owner this is the finest paints money can buy, should I have them waiting at the front for you?" He asks holding up a large, variety package of paint.

"Hun, I don't need anything expensive. Who knows if I'll keep doing if for as long as I plan. Things might come up where I don't feel like painting anymore and it'll go to waste." You tried to reason with him but he insisted you have only the best no matter how long you planned to indulge.

He went out of his way to talk to the owner and sought out the best of the best for you. The best paints, the best brushes, the best canvases. He even bought you a giant, clear acrylic organizer for all your new supplies. You were so grateful that he was this supportive of your hobby.

"Jumin, you really didn't have to buy me state of the art supplies. I would have been one hundred percent okay with whatever we would have found. But, I really appreciate this. I love you." You stood on the tip of your toes and pressed a loving kiss to his cheek.

"I know you would have been satisfied with anything, but I want to support you the best I can, and what better way than to supply you with luxury?" He smirked.

This was a side of Jumin you wished the others in the RFA would appreciate. He may seem like a spoiled, trust fund kid, but he really does care about the people in his life, and would gladly assist them in whatever they needed because he doesn't want to keep his wealth all to himself.

The two of you made your way home and you to straight to work. Jumin had some of his staff help him clear out his office so you could have your own space to work on your paintings. You tried to protest against it because where would he work at home?? But he assured you that this was more important than his job. You swore he was more invested in this than you were.

After everything was set up and organized, you got to work. You didn't exactly know where to start but you were eager to begin. You dipped your brush into the colors of your choice and began to glide them onto the canvas. The different strokes and swirls began to create an image in your mind and you went with it. You were so focused on your brush that you didn't notice Jumin staring you down with a love struck look on his face.

"It's coming along beautifully, MC." He mused. He wasn't even looking at you, he was eyeing your half finished painting.

"It's nowhere near done, sweetheart." You giggled, holding the canvas out to him. He smiled at you and snaked his arm around your waist.

"Well, I love it."

Then you got a brilliant idea. You walked over to your neatly organized supplied and pulled out a second canvas and a few new brushes. You sat criss cross on the floor and motioned for him to sit as well. You handed him the canvas and the brushes. "Paint with me." you told him as more or a light-hearted demand rather than a question.

He hesitantly took the materials from your delicate hands. He paused for a moment thinking of where to start. "I don't know if I will be as elegant as you, my love." He said after a while. You couldn't tell if there were hints of insecurity in his statement, but you really did want him to enjoy this with you.

You leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on his knee, giving it a light squeeze. "Dear, you are the king of elegance." You laughed. "Just try."

He nodded and began to delicately paint the canvas with beautiful blues and greens. After watching him for a moment you began to work on your own painting again.

The two of you sat there for hours in silence, complete concentration was expressed on both of your faces.

You finally looked up at Jumin who was still locked in to his painting. You smiled and held back a laugh. He looked so precious while concentrating. You loved that he was able to immerse himself into a hobby of yours. You knew this wasn't typically up his alley but you loved how hard he was trying for you. You stood up and set your canvas down on the table next to him, finally drawing his attention away from his painting. He followed suit and put his materials aside. You took this opportunity to find a seat on his lap, snaking both arms around his neck and pulling yourself closer into his chest.

"Thank you for this, Jumin. I had a great time. We should really do this more often." You cooed. In this moment you felt so, entirely in love with this man; and you were elated.

"Surprisingly, I had a lot of fun today. i loved spoiling you and I'm really grateful you allowed me to partake." He said bashfully.

You cupped his face with your hands softly and pulled im in for a long kiss. His hands slid up your back, pulling you closer if that was possible. The kiss got more heated as you moved yourself to straddle him. You broke apart for a moment to catch your breath and leaned your forehead onto his. You sighed with content and gave him one last peck on the cheek.

"I love you, Jumin." You whispered.

"I love you most, MC."

[one-sad-human]

•Worth It• Duff Mckagan

Pairing: Velvet Revolver era! Duff Mckagan x Younger! Reader

Requested? Nope!

Theme: Little bit of everything/???

Warnings: Language, panic attacks, anxiety references, drug references

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Fic 2 of 2! This is the longest fic yet! Took a different approach to writing this one, hopefully it payed off. Let me know if you guys liked it or if I wasted my time with this one lol.

     You had met Duff in a coffee shop in LA. It was crowded and you were lucky enough to snag a chair before the lunch rush. Duff wasn't, and asked you if he could sit at your table.

     You grew up with Guns n Roses, bought his solo album the day it came out when you were just 15, and now listened to Velvet Revolver faithfully. To see your idol, your celebrity crush stand right in front of you holding a cup of coffee and a scone sent you for a loop.

     "Of course," you had said, starry eyed. You were only hoping he was as kind as the interviews made him out to be. Maybe have a conversation with you and be polite for a while before leaving and never seeing each you again. That would be good enough.

     It didn't end with a coffee, it had just begun. He asked for your number, and you stared at him for a moment thinking you had imagined it. That was until he tilted his head a little and looked at you with a nervous expression. He backtracked and you immediately stopped him.

     "No! I mean— yes! Yes, you can absolutely have my number." You scrambled for a pen and paper and ended up scratching your number on a receipt from the record store. You shook so hard you could barely get the numbers down.

     Out of all the record store receipts you've stuffed into your bag, the one you gave Duff Mckagan had to be the one for when you bought Velvet Revolver's 'Contraband.' He didn't say anything, just smiled and promised to call.

     You honestly didn't think he would've. You played it off as just him trying to be nice. It didn't stop you from answering every call you got for the next three days, however, even if you recognized the number as the tax collector you'd normally never answer.

     But then he called.

     "I tried calling sooner, but I kept calling the wrong number. You don't have the most eligible handwriting," he had told you. You laughed but really, you were in shock.

     You set up a date at the fancy restaurant downtown that always intimidated you. You didn't say anything though, even though you knew you wouldn't want any of the overpriced food and you'd end up eating something you couldn't pronounce and was two portions too small. Maybe even hit up a fast food joint afterwards.

     When the day finally came, you couldn't even figure out what to wear. You couldn't tell if you looked underdressed or like you were trying too hard. Did the clothes even fit the right way? What would Duff think? Would he even care?

     All questions were answered when you left your house. Duff was leaning against his slick car parked in your driveway, a button up that was barely buttoned and dress pants with boots. He stared at you and you wanted a hole in the ground to shallow you up until he smiles.

     "You look gorgeous," he said. You blushed and grinned, thanking him before saying that he looked great too. He drove you to the restaurant and on the way, you talked about music.

     You shared some of your favorites, he adored how well rounded you were. You liked pretty much everything from punk rock to the mellowest of mellow. Duff mentioned some of his favorites, some you made sure to remember the names of so you can check them out.

     When the ride was over and you finally got to the restaurant, your previous fears came back. Duff reassured you looked better than 90% of the people there and you knew it wasn't true but it made you feel better anyway.

     Your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw the prices of the food. You knew it'd be pricey but you thought there'd be more options that stayed within two digit numbers.

     Duff saw your panicked expression and said not to worry, he'd pay. It didn't settle your nerves enough and when the waiter came, you ordered the cheapest and simplest thing you could find.

     "Chicken noodle soup?" He teased. You shyly looked down and shrugged. "This isn't your scene, is it?"

     "Not exactly, no."

     "Want me to be completely honest with you?" You nodded. "It's not mine either."

     That's all it took for you and Duff to scramble sheepishly out of the restaurant. You both shared a laugh in the car and went to Burger King. It was much more your speed and, as you'd find out that night, Duff's too. You suppose all the money he's had since such a young age didn't completely change his ways. He was like a kid trapped in a 40 year old man's body.

     You'd thought at first the age gap would feel strange, after all, you were 15 years younger than him. But after that night, it was barely noticeable. Funny looks from strangers every once in a while was nothing.

     By the second date, Duff was already aware fancy spots weren't your forte. He told you it was a surprise and to wear something cozy, as LA nights got chilly.

     He packed a picnic basket and drove you out to the most beautiful flower field you had ever seen at sunset. It was secluded and high up, giving a perfect view of the city skyline. After gawking and taking in the sights for a few moments, you regained your ability to speak.

     "It's gorgeous. Pretty far from the city, did you take me here to kill me?" You joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes. His lighthearted laugh sent sparks straight to your heart, and you decided that it was your favorite sound.

     You unfolded the blanket Duff brought and you both sat down. You ate the sandwiches and sliced fruit Duff packed and talked. You talked about everything, from your family to fears and insecurities.

You told him how you suffer from nightmares. Flashbacks from your broken childhood coming back to bite you in your sleep. Duff shared how he's suffered from panic attacks since he was a teenager. You felt you knew each other for years.

Neither of you felt weird for sharing and neither made the other insecure. You were completely open and honest with each other. It was strange, you've never connected to quickly and effortlessly with someone before. Sure, you've had men in your life, but never had you clicked with someone so fast, never had you fit with someone so perfectly.

Hours passed and it felt like minutes. Only did you realize how late and how exhausted you were when you saw most of the city buildings light have gone off for the night. The city that didn't sleep was dark.

"I should get you home," Duff said to you.

"Will you stay the night?" You felt a little silly for asking. Were things going too fast? Would he even want to stay over?

He agreed, and that's how your first night together went. You both stayed up even later and had more lighthearted conversations, unlike the ones that partook at the field. Like how one of Duff's first jobs was at a bakery and could bake a mean cake and how you can't cook to save your life.

You ended up waking up without remembering falling asleep. You're head was placed comfortably on Duff's lap while his head was lolled back against the couch cushion. He looked so serene and peaceful you couldn't help but smile at the sight.

You made toast and somewhat successfully cooked some eggs and bacon. It might have been the first breakfast in years that didn't end with the smoke alarm going off.

Duff eventually wandered into the kitchen and you both ate. By the time he left, another date was already set up. He was like a drug an you were already hooked.

Months later and the addiction still wasn't kicked. You didn't want to, and Duff didn't seem to want you to quit either. You both soaked each other up like the sun on a warm day.

You had almost weekly dates and you stayed over each other's houses almost every other day. Duff did have his kids some days, though, so some days dates were cut short or Grace and Mae slept over his house and you wouldn't see each other.

You were always understanding, his kids came first and you'd never blame or get upset about it. It's something Duff admires about you, your never ending understanding and empathy for him.

One of those days where Duff stayed over at your house started normal. He cooked dinner and you washed the dishes, and then you put on an old Ramones concert you had on DVD.

You were laying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair when all of a sudden, he tensed up. He quickly stood and excused himself to the bathroom. You frowned but before you could think much of it, you heard a loud bang and something clatter to the ground.

You jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. You swung open the door because you were perfectly aware the lock hasn't worked since you moved in.

Duff was sitting on the floor, a pill bottle laying on its side not far from him. You quickly spot the name of the medication and identified it as your anti-anxiety pills. You shoved them aside and sat next to Duff.

He was sweating bullets and his skin felt cold and clammy, his breaths were labored and heartbeat was loud and pounding erratically. You coax him gently to take deep breaths, holding onto his hand tightly and talking quietly.

"I'm sorry, they come on randomly sometimes," he apologized after he'd called down, but you quickly shushed him. You reminded him of just how many nightmares he'd comforted you for and he stops feeling so bad about it.

     It was always a true partnership with Duff. Never had you felt you gave or took too much, it was always equal. Always a two way street, with everything.

That wasn't the last panic attack you had to help him come down from. Later down the line you've gotten better at calming him down and learning his triggers, even though sometimes they really do come on suddenly without reason.

A year into the relationship was when you met Grace and Mae. They were young and didn't completely understand why their parents weren't together anymore, so it took them a while to warm up to you. Luckily, they eventually came around.

Duff and Susan met up regularly to discuss their kids and co-parent properly. And while you had all the reason to be jealous of your boyfriend with his ex wife, you never did. You had complete confidence in him, he was honest and loyal and you doubted he'd ever hurt you purposely.

That's why it destroyed you when he left you. Tears were shed from both parties as he gave his reasons for breaking up with you. His insecurities he tried his best to bury had come to light and nothing could change his mind.

You thought you were completely honest with each other, but you suppose his doubt in his relationship with you was the one thing he kept secret. He had somehow convinced himself you'd be better without him, between the constant touring and the baggage that came with him and his kids, he finally buckled under the weight and stress.

You had tried to convince him that he was worth it, but if Duff is one thing it's stubborn. The best relationship you'd ever have and the best year of your life went down the drain within the matter of one conversation.

You were down in the dumps for days. You barely left your bed and didn't ever leave your house. You were in a depression and couldn't get out. A few of your friends eventually found out what had happened and broke into your house and shoved you into the shower before taking you to your favorite Chinese restaurant.

You felt like a disaster. Your hair was ratted despite the shower and you refused to put real clothes on, instead wearing sweatpants and a shirt Duff had left behind. You were a mess.

The hole in the wall restaurant was never busy but always had the best food. You were almost happy your friends dragged you out of your home until you saw Duff sitting at a table, eating egg rolls and lo mein.

You've came here together all the time. The high sodium in the food always made him sick to his stomach and you'd always end up giving him nausea remedies and tea. He never changed his order though.

You locked eyes with him for a while. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He looked as terrible as you felt. You weren't sure if you were spitefully glad he felt awful or if the despair on his face just made your heart break further.

When you couldn't take his intense jade stare anymore, you looked up at the menu. The next time you looked back he was gone, you weren't sure if he was really there at all or if you were finally losing your mind for good.

     Another week crawled by. You got better enough to continue working. You had to pick up extra time for calling out for a few days after the breakup. You wouldn't say things were going well, but you weren't crying in bed every day all day anymore.

     You had constant dreams about him. Some were nice, ones where he didn't leave and you were together, holding each other tightly. Most were nightmares, flashbacks of when he left. You didn't have him to comfort you anymore when you woke up soaked in sweat and tears, and that might've been the worst.

     Another week went by, and you were starting to get back into the swing of things. You still thought about him, even silly little things reminded you of him. Like when you would catch a sniff of freshly baked sweets like he'd bake you or certain songs playing on the radio. It also didn't help that you ran into people wearing Guns n Roses shirts on the daily.

     You also refused to get rid of anything he'd left behind. Tee shirts, guitar picks he left from when he'd play for you, or CDs from bands he introduced you to. Reminders of what you lost were scattered around your home but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything about it.

     Suddenly, it's been a month. You weren't over him, but you had a feeling you'd never be completely. He was something special, you can't forget things as special as your relationship with Duff.

     His items still weren't thrown out or returned, instead all packed in a box sitting in your closet. But you'd be lying if you said you would never reach into the box to grab a shirt to sleep in or a CD to listen to when you needed a reminder of the good times. You were making progress though.

     You decided to leave your house one evening. You were feeling especially terrible and wanted to take a walk to clear your head. You went to the coffee shop you had first met Duff in. Maybe it was a mistake to go and get a flood of memories but you couldn't stop yourself.

     You sat in a seat near the window and people watched, taking occasional sips of your drink. It was quiet except from the talk of the workers and the hum of the overhead speakers.

     There was a sudden squeak of a chair of hardwood floors and it broke you out of your daze. You snapped your gaze up to meet the very familiar green eyes you've been trying to forget.

     "Can we talk?" He asked, and you couldn't say 'no.' Duff sat across from you and started off by apologizing.

     He said he wanted to talk to you sooner, but was too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You rolled your eyes at that, if only he knew just how much you missed him.

     He then started from the beginning and explained why he made the decision to leave you. As it turns out, it was mostly because of stress. His bandmate Scott was having problems with drugs and the flashbacks from his GnR days frightened him. He was worried he would end up relapsing and he didn't want to drag you down with him.

     Combine that with all the troubles that came with dating a single father, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt too guilty.

     It all seemed like ridiculous reasons to you. Even if he had made the mistake of falling off the wagon, you still would've stuck with him. And you didn't mind his kids at all, after nearly a year of knowing them and you were very close to them.

     "I love you, Duff. I wouldn't have left you over that, I'd help you through anything. And I love Grace and Mae, too," you told him.

     "I know, but I didn't want you to have to deal with all that baggage." You frowned at that. You reached your hand across the table and grasped his, squeezing it tenderly.

     "You're worth it."

     After that day, you and Duff started seeing each other again. It wasn't the same as before, but maybe even better.

     You were more transparent with each other. If one had a worry or problem, you'd go to the other. You talked everything through with him and he did the same. Even if it seemed insignificant, talking everything through never failed to make it better.

    You were happier and healthier than ever before. Sure, there were a roadblock or two, but they only made the relationship even stronger, and you wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

[vannybarber]

The Prenup: Part Two

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One

Walking down the isle, you grab everything that looks remotely pleasing in sight. After you left the house, you were just driving nowhere. Having to refill your tank because you wasted all the gas, the crackhead at the station kept singing Mambo Number 5 and it made you feel slightly better. Now you were in the convenience store spending your feelings away.

You get to the pain pills and grab some Aleve. Your head has been thumping for hours now. You see a pink box and knock a couple of those in the basket too just because they're pink. Whipping over to the candy isle, you grab multiple bags of Starburst jelly beans just to spite Chris because you know he loves them. Moments later, your basket it full and you head to the front.

Tipping the basket, you dump all the contents on the counter. The cashier gives you this look and you don't blame her. You had 3 bags of jellybeans, 5 random candy bars, 2 pink boxes you still can't read out, a blue Mountain Dew, a dog toy and some Doritos. Absolutely random. The cashier scans all the junk food, but when she gets to the pink boxes, she look up at you and at your left hand.

You're in a daze, so you don't see her looking at you. Your mind was all over the place and frankly, you didn't want to think about any of the latest events. Not the prenup. Not the engagement. Not Chris. Snapping into reality, you pay for your groceries and take all the bags and walk out the store.

On the drive to the hotel, you pass the park where you and Chris met. That didn't help with your predicament at all.

Dodger had gotten off his leash because he was so excited to finally have a home. You were with your niece. She is so obsessed with dogs and wanted to meet every one. Dodger spotted her and pounced on her, giving infinite kisses.

Chris was freaking out. His dog just pounced on a two year old child.

You, on the other hand, were laughing your ass off. Your niece wasn't complaining either because she kissed him back.

He apologized profusely and you guaranteed him it was okay. You guys hung out for the rest of the day and decided to go on another date, without the kids. One date lead to many others and soon enough you'd met his whole family, vice versa, and started living with him. It was unreal.

And here you are infront of a hotel, with no ring or engagement and your fianceé almost an hour away. Oh, how the tables have turned.

You get out and receive your room key. You head up to your room and set everything down. You were so tired and worn out. Getting comfortable in the bed, you knock out almost immediately.

Meanwhile, back at your house, it's pure chaos.

"Chris do you realize what the fuck you just did?"

Scott is practically screaming at his brother, pacing around the room.

"Scott can you fucking chill? You're not helping the situation" Chris snapped back at him. Scott stops and stares at him like he's an idiot.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for your stupid choices. Tell him Ma!" He looks at her to back him up. Lisa stands up from her seat and walks over to Chris.

"Now Scott, Chris is a grown man. He can handle this situation, right honey?" Her hands are on both his shoulders, looking for him to respond.

"There you go. You always do this! You always baby him up whenever he's in trouble." He rolls his eyes. Lisa draws back from Chris.

"No, I do not. I let all of you sort out your own issues, with my advice of course. Shanna, Carly, do I baby your brother?" Chris throws his head back in annoyance.

"Um, yeah kinda.."

"Sometimes...Ma, but not all the time of course"

They say at the same time. They hated to admit it but when it came to Chris, she mostly got him out his problems. He's not used to solving them on his own. Lisa utters incoherent words in disbelief.

"That's not important right now. My fianceé just called off our engagement and I don't know where she is!" Chris interrupts, getting everyone back into focus.

"Technically she's not your fianceé if she called the engagement off, but it's whatever..." Scott mumbles with his hands up. Chris shoots him a 'fuck off look'.

"Well have you tried calling her?" Carly asks him.

"Yes, but she's not picking up. She can hold quite the grudge when it comes to her feelings." And he was right. You were very protective of your feelings and anything to harm that will be shut down ASAP.

"Well we just have to hope that she is trusting her better judgment and will come back, unlike someone in the room" Scott says sarcastically turning and sitting on the couch. Chris smacks his lips.

"Scott that's enough!" Lisa snaps.

"Well he deserves everything he's getting! He put himself in this situation. Now he doesn't have a wife and he's miserable. Could never be me."

Chris had enough. He moved quickly put his chair and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He sat at the edge of the bed and cried.

You had finally woken up and check your phone.

26 missed calls | 63 messages.

You text Lisa and tell her you're fine. Closing the app, you look at your homescreen. It's a picture of Chris laying on your chest asleep. His lips are parted and you're grinning in the screen. He looks like an adorable puppy. You grab your charger out your bag and plug it up.

Remembering the stuff you bought, you grab the jellybeans and open them. Seeing the assortment of colors, you go straight for the red ones. Chris' favorite. You were gonna milk this to the bone. You reach in the bag and feel one of the pink boxes you bought. Still not knowing what it was, you pull it out and read it.

First Response Pregnancy

You bought a damn pregnancy test. 2 to be exact. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or to smack yourself for wasting your money. Many thoughts went through your mind. Should you take the tests? Should you throw it away? What if you were pregnant? That last thought gave you shivers. Pregnant at a time like this? Were you even ready?

Looking down at the test, you decide to take it. Just for the hell of it. You knew you weren't gonna be pregnant because you take birth control. Not to mention you and Chris use condoms for extra measure. Nothing wrong with being safe.

You get up, pad to the bathroom and get down to business. You do all the steps and clean up after yourself. Now you just had to wait.

You were nervous as hell. You don't know why though. There isn't a chance you could be pregnant because you didn't allow there be one. You have been beyond careful. There would be zero possibility. Or so you thought.

After what felt like 5 minutes, your shakey hand grab the test and flip it over.

| |

You freeze and your eyes dart to the information section.

Not Pregnant- |

Pregnant- | |

You look back at the results. There were two lines. Absentmindedly, you shake your head and back up until your back hits the wall. You can't be pregnant. There's literally no freaking way. It's got to be false.

You grab the other test and take it. After 5 more minutes, you check it and there's two lines also. Now you were freaking the fuck out. Both tests are positive. You rush back in the room and dig through the bag for the other box. You grab it and take both tests at the same time. Don't ask.

After another 5 minutes, you stare at the back of the two tests. Moment of truth. You flip both the tests at the same time.

| | on each test.

This is where you fall on the floor in shock and fear. You were pregnant. With Chris' child. And you guys just had a huge fall out and you're all alone. You're not ready for a kid. Especially not now.

You bury your head in your hands and let the tears fall. How in the hell were you gonna tell him?

taglist:

@flattykawa1 @mayafatimakhan @attitude-times @shawn-youth @traceyaudette @fantasticinternetpizza @kyraroseficreblogs33 @radi0active-thoughts @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @ohbarracuda @katelyneannxo @jennamarieee623 @nicochantez @craycraycraic @ilikeurdad @ppal3 @captainson-of-coul @joanne-stan @ilovetheeagles @cristinagronk16 @kelbabyblue @onyourgoddamnleft @jessyballet @misz-adrii @geminievans1 @saltyflowermakertaco @a-moment-captured @harrysthiccthighss @greatbatprofessordragon

i hope this part kept you guys' intrest like the first part😭 i felt the pressure today lmao

if you're bolded, i couldn't tag you. i'll personally message you ❤ thank you guys for your support. it means so much to me 🤧

[ventiskies]

When he rejects you | Chongyun, Scaramouche, Albedo

a/n: hello friends!! i apologize for my somewhat disappearance TwT im currently having exam season but i couldnt help but write something for my favorite three (and yes, scara is there... and honestly, I don't know when I started simping for him either but you can now call me a future scaramouche haver >:)) so not a request, but do enjoy !! <3 (apologies if there are any errors!!)

pairing: chongyun x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader (platonic)

Chongyun

★ Chongyun, Xingqiu and you had been best friends since you were kids. And although you were a trio, you and Chongyun had always known each other much longer.

★ If your life were a book, it would be a sweet childhood best friends growing up together genre, something that often piqued Xingqiu’s interests when he drags the two of you to Wanwen bookhouse

★ The books you had borrowed from Xingqiu about them all ended with the same thing; that they end up becoming a couple and growing up together. Reminiscing about their childhood youth when they were old.

★ You knew not to trust the books or use them as a guide, but just like the books, you had grown to fall in love with the icy-haired boy.

★ Chongyun was like a breath of fresh air. His determination in exorcising ‘evil spirits' to the point that he blindly falls for Xingqiu and your pranks were the things that you loved about him. He was filled with enthusiasm and positivity (literally).

★ You grew into enjoying his positive attitude, you couldn't imagine a day going by without Chongyun telling you and Xingqiu about a so called 'haunted' place he had found, and forcing the two of you to come with him. and even if it had ended without meeting a single spirit, he would still be in high spirits.

★ you loved it, seeing the rush of thrill he feels whenever he senses a spirit nearby, hoping the spirit was able to withstand his excessive yang energy. the repeating days without one successful exorcism, only to end up getting treated to a meal by Xingqiu, and the parting that always ends with a promise to see each other the day after. Chongyun speaks his emotions, and you were in love with that.

★ and him, just in general.

★ And one day, you had decided to tell him just that

★ You were both on the hunt for Jueyun chilies for Xiangling, a small commission that you had decided to take on while waiting for Xingqiu to finish his work at the guild. The sun had set, and you had returned from Qingce village with a bucket full of the chilies and had decided to rest on top of the mountain where you had both Waypointed to just to admire the sunset.

★ In the heat of the moment, you had spoken.

“I like you, Chongyun,” you had said, looking at him with a smile.

★ You would have accepted a silence. You had expected it to be like the books; he would gently laugh and look at you, admitting that he had been waiting for you to say the exact words, lean in to kiss you. It would be awkward at first, but it’ll also be something to look back to in the future when kissing becomes something you do every day. You’d return back to Liyue Harbor hand in hand, and be able to tell Xingqiu and Xiangling that he was your boyfriend now, and admit to the former that maybe his books were right.

★ But instead, you were met with Chongyun’s wide eyes staring at you. His cheeks flushed red with what you had tried hard to hope was shyness, but had appealed more like panic. He had stood up and cleared his throat

“We- we should get back,” he says, too quickly for someone as calm as he is. And you knew it was a wrong step, “I’m-,” he clears his throat, “I’m going to go ahead first. I'm sorry,”

★ You didn’t know if he was apologizing for leaving early, or for not being able to accept your feelings, but when you hadn't seen him the following day, you could only assume.

Scaramouche

★ Honestly, you had it coming for you.

★ Scaramouche is someone whose life is their job. There was nothing that could distract him from working for the Tsaritsa

★ You had (been self-entitled) as his best friend. And honestly, if Scaramouche knew of it, he doesn't blame you. Everyone in the Fatui and who worked under the Fatui knew how close you were. Which was odd because, for one, you were absolutely nothing like him. Although you weren't exactly liked by everyone, you weren't loathed by everyone like the sixth harbinger was.

★ Scaramouche was feared by anyone who hears his name or walks a foot away from him, while you carried a calmer aura. Without glancing, Scaramouche could bring his subordinates trembling, while they would greet you when you pass by them.

★ You were polar opposites, and yet, everyone has seen the two of you together so much that when he wasn't with you or the other way around, people would assume you were on a solo mission or just leaving the other’s quarters

★ Of course, being his best friend, you weren’t spared of his usual harsh words. As a matter of fact, you probably had it much worse than anyone else. It had almost seemed as if every time he spoke, he spoke like he was trying to get rid of you.

★ But if that really were the case, then he hasn’t been trying his best. You had stayed with him since you had become an ally to the Fatui, and ever since then had stayed by his side. When others shake in fear, you shake your head with a laugh and a retort.

★ It had even come as a surprise to you when you had realized you had fallen for the harbinger. You would think that spending time with such a foul-mouthed person who would murder someone in the blink of an eye with no hesitation would make you dislike him. But that didn’t happen.

★ In fact, it was quite the opposite. You had fallen in love with him.

★ It wasn’t obvious to anyone, and even you had to take the time to squint to look for it. But Scaramouche did care for you in his own way. Whether it be toning down the harsh words when he sees your mood dampen after a mission, or beating the shit out of a person who had attacked you ruthlessly, not stopping even after his hands were covered in crimson liquid and the person almost certainly died. Even if he calls you a hindrance afterward for dirtying his hands, he definitely thought of you the same as you thought of him.

★ A friend.

★ Or, you had hoped, something more.

★ It was a mistake to take his slight kindness as a sign of him liking you, it truly was.

★ During your journey to Inazuma for a mission, you had decided to confess to him out of the blue. You knew he was someone who could predict the outcome of something even before you said anything, so a slow confession when the sun was setting in a field of flowers would just be a waste of time. if there was something you learned, it's to cut to the chase with him.

“Hey Scara,” you had said quietly. He had replied with a low hum, not turning back to look at you, “I like you.”

★ Without a second thought, Scaramouche had taken you by surprise as well.

★ He had not stopped in his tracks, instead, his shoulders shook in laugher. His laugh wasn't the same laugh you hear whenever you make a stupid mishap or get slightly injured during a simple mission- no, those laughs were warmer. Although laced with unkindness, they were more familiar.

★ This one was condescending. As if you were a new recruit again, having to work under him. As if all those years as friends had just gone down the drain.

“Stupid. What a fool of me to assume you were different.” he says, voice clear as a bell in the night, “don’t be an inconvenience. I don't have time for people like you.”

Albedo

★ Ever since working under Albedo with Sucrose, your life had been nothing but full of wonder. Although some were dangerous, Albedo and you bonded easily as if you had worked together in a past life.

★ Albedo was a genius. He was someone you looked up to, and sometime during your investigations, he had become a friend. You didn't know when it started. When it had gone from two alchemists staying the night in Dragonspine to observe the different stages of new plant growth, to- with the permission of the acting grandmaster - just two people, two friends, going out to explore the seven nations.

★ Sucrose and Timaeus had stayed back in Mondstadt to finish experiments that you both had decided to put on hold for your trip, and with nothing to worry about, the two of you had gone out with nothing but the protection of each other (and your visions, of course), and a few packed meals from Good Hunter.

★ Albedo had a side that no one saw unless they spent nights camping with him in the middle of nowhere. You were one of the lucky people who were able to see that side of his during your trips around the seven.

★ The alchemist wasn't just curious about the way the world works, he had also been curious with, well, you.

★ Some nights when he couldn't go to sleep (which was often. You’d be surprised to see how messed up his sleep schedule was), he would sit in front of the fire you had both worked hard to make, and simply talk.

★ sometimes, it would be short conversations. but more than often, you find yourself talking about everything and nothing until the sun rose above the mountains, and you would have to continue your journey until one of you (usually being you,) were too tired to continue.

★ Albedo talks with passion, no matter what the topic is. He could be talking about what you were going to be having for dinner for the next night before you reach the first region in your trip, and he would already have you captivated.

★ Albedo also talks with gentleness. And this was the said side not a lot of people would be able to see from the chief alchemist. Whenever the tent was filled with comforting silence, you would be able to hear Albedo asking you questions about yourself. They weren’t your standard, what was your dream growing up? Kind of questions, but they were more specific. More… personal.

★ Is it not funny, how life works? What if a single moment had changed in the past, I and you wouldn't have met. He would question, eyes trained to the flames burning in front of him. It sounded rhetorical, but his tone was laced with wonder. He sounds as if he was expecting an answer, but he doesn't urge you for one. And every time he does, you merely hum.

★ Albedo was gentle in everything he did. Almost all the time you were with him, he had never acted brashly. He was patient, kind.

★ and that was most likely what had prompted your crush on the alchemist

★ crushing on Albedo was like looking up at the stars. he was someone who shined brightly, but you knew he was too far to reach, yet despite that, you had still attempted to.

★ you had decided to finally let it all out on him the night of your final stay before you reached your final region, which was Inazuma.

★ and that, you had realized a little too late, had been the icing on top of a really terrible cake.

"Albedo," you had stared, and the alchemist immediately turned towards you. that was something you had grown fond of. you knew Albedo was a man married to his work, so when he turns to you in the midst of it, you felt your stomach churn in delight, "I have to tell you something,"

“Hm?” he hums, setting his notepad down to give you his full attention, “what is it, y/n?”

★ You took a deep breath, and the moment you had opened your mouth to tell him, you had a sinking feeling you had made a huge mistake.

“I like you, a lot,” you muttered, “not just platonically, Albedo. I… I think you're really interesting. and if you'd like, I would love to be with you. ”

★ Albedo’s face had fallen, and although it had been the slightest, you had still noticed it. He looked at you as if the cogs were turning in his brain, and finally, he looks down

“I must apologize,” he starts, and you feel your stomach drop, “but I’m not interested in you that way, y/n. If it makes you feel better, I see you as a very dear friend,”

★ You nod, apologizing to Albedo before he offers a small smile before continuing his research

★ You both did not speak of it, but there was a very thick air of silence hangs over the two of you afterward, that didn't dissipate even after you both left the camp.

[velvett-tearss]

Black Tea & Blushes — L. Ackerman

summary: The two of you never got along, but there were times that even fire and ice made a perfect pair.

warnings: cursing, no spoilers for anything past early s1, Levi’s a little shit at first (surprise, surprise), mentions of blood (they’re fighting titans :-) lol) gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

genre: semi-canonverse, fluff, enemies to lovers (?)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this was very self-indulgent lmao, sorry if it’s a bit messy 😭, <Hange, Connie & Sasha3 make an appearance bc I love them and you should too, hope you enjoy it <3

"Couldn't you have gotten a cadet to do this?"

You raised a sharp brow at the man, trying to keep yourself from flipping his desk over. "Would you have yelled at them like you just yelled at me?"

The man's grey eyes didn’t meet yours, but there was a scowl on his face. Despite his steely eyes, he didn't say anything back. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned back to continue his paperwork.

You huffed in an attempt to ground yourself after being yelled at for the past two minutes. You took a sip from your own cup of the tea you had prepared for him, letting yourself savor the taste.

     "I don't understand." you said, tasting the earthy, black tea. "You said it was too cold last time, so I made sure it was extra warm. What's wrong with it? Is it too sour for you? I only added a few drops of lemon this time."

Levi remained silent, but you stood your ground, tapping your boot against the pavemented floor as you waited at his desk for an answer. You wouldn't let him win, not this time. Day after day, it seemed like he only grew ruder and ruder.

Your dislike for Levi Ackerman started the day you met him. He was still just a soldier when you joined the Survey Corp, and it wasn't long after that he become Captain.

He was mean, and he never seemed to care about anything, but God forbid you make a reckless move out in the field. It was as if all hell broke loose if you used a bit too much gas when slicing the nape of a Titan's neck.

     "Not everyone is Humanity's Strongest." you had spat at him when he scolded you on the way back to the walls. That only earned you a glare, seeing as Hange managed to secure your safety. If it weren't for them, you were certain you would've gotten stuck with stable duty for a month's end.

     You were glad he was nice to them, at least.

     At some point, you got promoted to Captain as well. One would think that since you shared the same rank, he would grow warmer to you, but that was another one of your mistakes.

     Everything about him rubbed you the wrong way, from his disagreeable manners to his awful way of speaking to soldiers. And, it was your disdain for him that got you stuck in this mess.

"A cadet could've done this." Levi stated again; you felt like you were being patronized. He raised a brow at you, holding the teacup in his hand. "A cadet could’ve made better tea than you.”

"Obviously not, Captain." you threw back sourly, snatching the cup from his hand. "A cadet could not have done this because if I hadn't interfered two weeks ago, who knows what you would've done to the poor man. And, all he did was make your tea wrong!”

Levi blinked at you, appearing bored with your conversation. "If you hadn't interfered, that soldier would be back with those good for nothing Military Police Officers doing what they're best at."

     You gritted your teeth. "And, what are they good for, Captain Ackerman?”

     His brow twitched slightly. “Absolutely nothing."

You let out a bitter laugh, placing the white ceramic teacups back on the tray you had brought in. "Now that you say it out loud, that reminds me a lot of someone I know."

     "What an awful way to talk about yourself.” Levi threw back with ease.

     The urge to roll your eyes at him was weighing on you, but you were stronger than the immaturity he seemed to bring out in you. "Captain, you must be growing old if you've already forgotten we're the same rank."

     Your decision of keeping yourself calm in his presence payed to be of use when you noticed the slight pause in his pen strokes at your words.

     But, you were well aware of how trustworthy Levi was in the sense that you knew he could always come back with something even worse than what he's told you before.

      "If you were of any use, you would know what's wrong with your tea. I'm sure even King Fritz could tell good tea from awful tea, and he's the most useless of them all." Levi told you, pen moving over the papers in front of him swiftly.

     "He could probably also tell a grown man from a spoiled brat," you told him, taking the tray with you as you left his office. "But, you make even that task seem impossible."

     You had to stop the triumphant grin from growing on your face when you heard his faint scoff from the other side of the wooden door.

Even if you managed to snag the last word of that argument, it didn’t feel as good as it usually did. The only reason you involved yourself in Levi Ackerman’s nightly tea was because 1) you didn’t like the way he spoke to the poor soldier who got stuck with job of handling it, and 2) Erwin asked that you try and be a bit nicer to your fellow captain.

You only did it to keep your job, really, and you would never let your Commander think less of you, even if he did favor Levi. Even Hange had tried to coax you into not letting The Ackerman’s sharp tongue get to you, but that didn’t seem to work.

Levi and you would never be friends, if that’s what Erwin meant when he pulled you aside at supper a few nights before. It was a lie to say you didn’t admire the man’s impressive skills, because you did.

But, admiration and respect were two separate things.

The two of you were jagged edges of broken glass that didn’t fit together, and that was perfectly fine. You didn’t mind being Levi being a sharp piece of glass, just as long as he kept his corners to himself and far from you.

Erwin, as observant as usual, caught on to the solution to your problem, and he even made sure you and Levi would rarely ever cross paths when the Scouts were out on an expedition. The two of you worked on opposite sides of the formation.

The only time you would ever work together would be if there were no other options, but both of you were reliable in your own senses: him with his... whatever he called it, and you with your wits.

You didn't mind being farthest from him, and if it were up to you, you'd go even farther.

     “Hey, you got new glasses.” you stated, noticing the new pair of brown frames that Hange wore the morning as the Scouts waited for the signal to begin the expedition.

“Oh, don’t remind me.” they said with a frown, holding the glasses in their hands. “Last night, Moblit and I were doing some research, and someone must’ve stolen my glasses because I couldn’t find them this morning.”

“Stole? Isn’t that a big accusation?”

They let out a hearty laugh. “It is! That’s why I’m saying it!” Hange replied, golden eyes widened at you in exasperation. “I’ve been stuck with these, and they’re too big for my face. All they do is fall off.”

“So maybe don’t wear them?” you wondered as you caught a glimpse of the dark head of hair you knew too well. “What’ll you do if you lose them out in the field? Better safe than sorry.”

“I wish, but I’m as blind as a bat without them.” Hange reasoned with a sigh before quickly composing themselves. “But, now that you mention it, I never did mind a challenge.”

The smirk growing on their face was one you didn’t quite like. Before you could talk some sense into them (if that were even possible) the signal went off to begin the mission.

They gave a wide smile and a thumbs up as a good luck token. "Don’t do anything crazy!” you called out when the two of you parted ways, taking your squad with you. “I mean it, Hange!”

Hange waved you off, charging in faster in their horse. It was up to poor Moblit to chase right after them.

Your squad remained close together for the majority of the mission. There wasn't much to do on your end of things, which was a relief. At some point, you decided to stop for a quick break before pushing forward.

If you were able to see five mintues into the future, you would never have let your squad talk you into taking a lunch break. Just as you were relaxing a bit, there was an Abnormal coming from the thick trees.

Your sense of smell wasn't as skilled as Miche, and if it weren't for one of the younger cadets on your squad who had a keen sense of hearing, you all would've been Titan food.

It didn't take long for you to spring into action, your squad following suit. You made sure to use the plans Erwin had issued out on previous Scout meetings.

When the Abnormal finally made it to where you and your squad stopped, the beastly creature managed to catch one of your soldiers in midair. As the young boy was raised in the air, his stomach couldn't contain his recent lunch.

Gravity works in wonders, you thought when his earlier lunch fell onto you with a splat! You couldn't blame the poor boy; it was better upstairs than downstairs. As terrible a feeling it was to have chunky vomit all over you, you knew it would be as even worse feeling if the boy died under your care.

Your squad got to him before any damage was permanent, at least physically. When the killing blow was done, you tended to your soldier. He muttered out apologies for having thrown up on you, but you were merely in the line of fire.

"It's okay, Connie." you reassured him after pulling off your green cape that had been soiled in aid to shield you. “I’d rather it be your lunch on me than your organs.”

You ordered that he ride with your other cadet, Sasha. He let out a pained laugh at your words, leaning against her on her horse. She scolded him for “wasting so much food,” to which lead to their silly banter, which you didn’t mind as long as they were safe.

     As unfortunate as it was, that incident wasn't the last of it. There wasn't much time between Connie getting his ribs crushed by a Titan and the numerous amount of red flares that were being shot into the air.  The amount of red powder in the sky was enough to cast a shadow of worry over you.

     By the time your squad made it to where the red flares had been signaled, it was a mess. Abnormal and Pure Titans were ambushing the rest of whatever was left of the Survey Corp. Your squad wasted no time in following your orders as you made a beeline for the trees where a group of Abnormals were huddled together.

     When you finally got a good look at the scene in the forest, your sight was met with Titan smoke and blood of fallen comrades. It was a disaster, as it always was. But you knew, where there was smoke, there was definitely fire.

And, that fire was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

He looked ablaze, nothing but a flash in the distance. Slicing Titan limbs as if they were merely flowers in his way, Levi Ackerman was kicking ass. It was in moments like this — where he looked like the answer to all the prayers of the people inside the walls — that you wondered if you truly hated him all along.

“Section Commander!” Moblit cried, chasing after Hange as they swung on the highest tree of the forest. It seemed as though they forgot all about how loose their glasses were as they did a number of twirls in the air. His voice was enough to snap you out of your trance and assist your fellow comrades.

You managed to fight off three Pure Titans and two Abnormals for what seemed like forever. It might’ve been even worse if not for Connie Springer’s lunch all over you that acted as Titan Repellant.

Perhaps you would tell Hange of your new discovery, but every time you managed to get close to them while fighting off the Titans, all they did was badger you with questions upon questions.

“Are you sure you haven’t you seen them?!” Hange cried for the fifth time, eyes squinted at you from their branch opposite you. Moblit was fighting off a creepy Abnormal with ugly teeth a few feet from you.

“No, I haven’t! And, didn’t I tell you your glasses would fall if you took them with you?!” you shouted back from your place on the tree before taking a breath to try to slice the neck of your second Pure Titan. “Go back to the wagon, Hange, before you get yourself killed!”

They huffed and puffed, but they let Moblit guide them to the wagon to wait until the rest of the Scouts could find a moment to retreat back to the walls.

After finally slicing the nape of your final Titan, you looked over to where you had last seen Levi. Only, he was nowhere to be found. A panic set in when you couldn’t find any sight of him.

“Captain?” you called out from your place on a tree branch where you were catching your breath. You squinted your eyes to get a farther look, but it didn’t help that much. “Captain Ackerman, are you there? Do you—”

But, that’s when you felt a jostle of wind hit your back. You turned quickly to see the dark-haired man swinging through the trees, holding an unconscious Oluo.

You followed him, figuring if you took his squad member off his hands that Levi would have a better chance of taking down more Titans. Maybe even with a man who weighed far more than himself in his hands, Levi could still have a better chance than you.

“Captain, I’ve got him. I’ll take—”

But, Levi wouldn’t budge. It was like he wasn’t listening to you, and you didn’t know if it was by choice or coincidence. You huffed and rushed quicker to help him in carrying Oluo.

Maybe it was just your luck, or maybe it was just his, but right before you managed to reach him, a Titan’s jaw came from below him, wide and ready for lunchtime.

There was nothing for him to do, not with his hands full. Surely he knew that from the way his grey eyes finally broke through from that awful void he’d placed you in, the one where all you ever got from him was scoldings and insults and cold stares that often made you wonder if he actually did hate you.

And, for the first time, you saw panic flash through his grey eyes, his life flash before his eyes.

“Levi!” you cried, using the rest of your ODM gear’s gas to catch up to him. You knew if he were to survive such an event, he would scold you for wasting your gas on an old lump like him.

But, for once, Levi had something to say about you that didn’t regard your incompetence to make decent tea or your recklessness that spurred you to use all your gas just to save him and the bullheaded, baboon by the name of Oluo.

It was your astonishing speed.

You got to the two men right before the great wide jaws of the Titan could snap closed and swallow the three of you for its meal, which Levi had to admit (but probably never would) was quite impressive.

“Shit!” you hissed out when the three of you landed on another tree branch. As quick as you got to the branch was as quick as Miche was to come and ensure your safety, slicing the Titan’s nape with ease.

Oluo was still unconscious and a little bloodied up and battered, but he was safe.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Levi yelled, voice slightly hoarse from everything that had just happened. His hair was a mess, and you held back a laugh at the sight of him. “Why— why would you? I mean, what— and, why do you smell like—”

“A thank you is perfectly fine, Ackerman.” you coughed out, catching your breath from the overexertion you just forced yourself through. Carrying two grown men was tough, especially when it was between life or death. “As for the smell, one of my soldiers threw up on me.”

Levi blinked at you, his expression consisting of disgust and confusion. “What?”

“My soldier. He threw up on me earlier.”

“I heard you the first time.” he told you, blinking quickly as if it were going to grant him some clarity. You didn’t know if his confusion was from your act of saving him and his squad member or from not knowing what to say to you after.

He looked funny, with his hair that of a bird’s nest and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Did you hit your head on the way down?”

“W-what?”

“Your head? Did you hit it?”

“No, I-I’m fine.” he scrambled upright, finding purchase on the unconscious Oluo’s shin. Your eyes flickered to where his hand was placed, and he snatched it right off immediately, burning a deeper shade of pink.

“Oh.” you muttered, holding back a chuckle. There was no way Levi was without a concussion, not with the way he was acting all of a sudden: stuttering and turning pink on you. It was a wonder you caught up to him before he collapsed.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?” you asked again, fixing your uniform before getting to your feet. You wobbled a bit; Levi raised a brow at you. “You look sick. Why don’t you sit in the injury wagon for a bit on the way back? Just in case.”

He waved you off, standing on his two feet as well. You didn’t want to cause a fight, not right after what had just happened and not outside the walls, so you decided to say nothing about his seeming concussion.

The two of you lifted Oluo off the ground, blood seeping from the side of the man’s mouth. “Is it his ribs? Was it an Abnormal? They were awful today.” you questioned, looking to Levi for answers.

“He bit his tongue, again, before ramming into a tree.” Levi told you, averting his gaze from you as he shifted the man against his shoulder for a better grip. “He said something f-fell from the sky.”

You nodded, letting yourself chuckle. “What could it’ve been? Bird shit?”

Levi shrugged at your words.

He was far too quiet for your liking. Maybe he did have a concussion. It wouldn’t be good if he rode back like that. Perhaps if you spoke to Erwin or Hange about it, one of them could convince Levi to get checked out once you got back to the walls.

The two of you managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts safely. You helped Levi placing Oluo in the wagon with the wounded and the fallen while everyone else was getting accounted for.

All the while, Hange was trying to persuade Erwin into letting them form a search party for their glasses that had fallen while they were swinging on the trees.

Though you were straining to listen to their conversation, you were more than certain that Erwin would never allow such a thing, but you had to admire Hange’s efforts, as fruitless as they were.

“Thank you.”

You snapped your head to Levi.

He refused to meet your gaze again, busying himself with readjusting his soldier’s cape. If not for the obvious step into uncharted territory between the two of you, you would’ve commented on the rosy blush he adorned.

Suddenly, you were overcome with a laughter, waving him off with your hand quickly. “I was just joking about that, Captain. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m just surprised you actually—”

He scoffed, the expression on his face shifting to one of impatience. “Don’t be a brat. Just take the compliment.” Levi huffed out, visibly annoyed with your chatter.

A look of shock overtook your face. “Oh, so you’re complimenting me? Why didn’t you just say so, then?”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant—”

“No, it’s fine. I heard you, loud and clear.” you interrupted, smiling widely at him. “You’re oh-so very welcome, Captain Ackerman, and if you ever need me to save your ass again, you know where to find me.”

Levi opted to say nothing back, merely shaking his head at you when you gave a lazy salute and started back to the other side of the formation where your horse and squad awaited you.

“Besides,” you shrugged, turning back for a moment to catch him looking at you. “Who else would teach me how to make tea?”

note: I don’t think I specified it, but Oluo was knocked unconscious bc some object (Hange’s glasses) fell from the sky lmao 🐸