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jae-canikeepyou · 3 years

Text

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

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time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

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the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.

#nct #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun imagines #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun au #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun writings

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vannahfanfics · 3 years

Text

Heavenly Bodies

Category: Romantic Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Mina Ashido, Eijirou Kirishima

Additional Tags: Quirkless AU

Howdy, everyone! Today I have my story for the @ashidobigbang! I had the privilege of working with the wonderful @mallowfac, so be sure to go give her beautiful art some love!

The picturesque campus of U.A. High School was always abuzz with activity, even after the final bells rang to mark the end of the school day. As expected of the number-one high school in the district, the institution hosted a vast number of after-school sports and clubs, so much that it was almost unheard of for a student to be uninvolved in anything. Thus, even as the sun had sunk low across the sky, the halls were still packed with many students fervently discussing events and fundraising and planning, walking to and from their classrooms.

The exterior of the school was no exception; one would be hard pressed to find an empty sidewalk or field—except for today, when the American football team would be taking on the baseball team in an impromptu flag football game to determine once and for all the title of best sport. The halls and sidewalks and fields were abandoned, for the entire student body had crammed themselves within the confines of the spacious practice field nestled in the back corner of the campus. The baseball team had asserted that football was so easy that even they could do it, and the school had become divided on whether or not that was true.

“Kick their asses, Eijirou!” a particularly loud fan crowed from the top of the bleachers. He was standing tall, hands cupped around his mouth and stamping his feet as he cheered for the school’s idol and star quarterback. The bleachers sang with chants and stomps, trying desperately to smother the boos drifting from the opposite end of the field, where the baseball team’s supporters sat. Eijirou Kirishima, his grin blinding and his red hair gleaming in the spring sun, laughed nervously as praise was rained down upon him.

As Mina zeroed in on him in the lens of her binoculars, she knew she’d found her latest victim— er, recruit.

Mina Ashido was the president—and only member—of U.A.’s astronomy club. Well, it wasn’t technically a club yet since they needed two members for the administration to approve the application. An avid admirer of all things cosmological and an aspiring astronomer, Mina refused to allow her pride and joy to collapse before it had even begun. Thus, for the last few months, she’d been concocting hare-brained scheme after hare-brained scheme to recruit at least one more member and officially christen the U.A. Guild of Astronomers and Astrophysicists. All of her efforts, unfortunately, had crashed and burned brighter than a supernova.

At first, she’d just camped out in the hallways and leisure areas pitching her case and attempting to garner interest in the subject, but she’d been met with polite refusals or awkward avoidance. With so many extracurriculars available, sometimes drastic measures had to be taken to garner interest in a club— the Shakespearean drama club, for example, had performed Macbeth completely backwards in the courtyard, and their numbers had swelled immediately. Mina had cooked up a dramatic scheme of her own, which involved her running around the school screaming about a falling star and the end times. After inciting a mass school panic that led to a lockdown and police involvement, all Mina had managed to acquire was a fierce scolding, detention, and the label as a kook—not even one person expressed interest in joining her club even for the shits and giggles! No, it was clear that the inner workings of her mind were too sophisticated for humble high school students and staff, so she would have to try a more nuanced approach—manipulating the most vital high school variable: popularity.

Her first target had been gorgeous cheerleader and school sweetheart, Momo Yaoyorozu. Despite the stereotype that popular girls were great big bitches, Momo had been nothing but polite when refusing Mina, since her rigorous practice schedule would unfortunately not allow her to devote the time to the club it deserved (but they did regularly meet up for Sunday tea now!). The next one to fall into her crosshairs was the school heartthrob Shoto Todoroki. He’d entertained her for an afternoon, but he destroyed one of her very expensive telescopes while attempting a night viewing and she’d politely informed him that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for it. He didn’t seem too sad about it, though he did occasionally ask her how the recruiting was going when they met in the halls. Very sweet guy, but bless him, he was an airhead.

Thus, Mina had moved on to her next opportunity—the pride and joy of U.A.’s sports program, star American football player Eijirou Kirishima. Incredibly handsome, charismatic, and kind-hearted, Eijirou was beloved by everyone at U.A. If Mina managed to recruit him to her humble club, half the student body would be clamoring to join before it was printed in the school news the next day.

She snickered to herself as she watched him through her binoculars, hiding in the thick, leafy bushes lining the backside of the sports complex. Her cotton candy-colored hair blended well with the hydrangeas blooming amidst the emerald leaves, camouflaging her as she conducted her vital research. The redhead strode across the field with confidence, yet his sunny smile made him seem anything but arrogant. Though she couldn’t hear him, she could see his lips moving as he relayed orders to his team while they set up the play. The players seamlessly fell into an offensive stance, a testament to the faith they held in their captain—and how seriously he took their practice and performance.

A deep and bassy “huuuuup!” resounded through the field, and then the player hiked the ball. With a speed much at odds with his muscular frame, Eijirou took off down the field. Mina admittedly salivated a little as she watched his muscles ripple, his gray muscle tank displaying his biceps and triceps in mouthwatering detail. She could see the sweat shining on his skin and flicking from his hair as he whipped his head around to eye the ball that was sailing through the air toward him. The baseball team’s defense could only watch in awe as Eijirou leaped into the air over the endzone. The ball landed in his arms like it belonged there, his grip smug and sure as he landed in the touchdown zone. The supporting crowd erupted into deafening cheers, while Eijirou just smiled bashfully and gave a little wave.

Mina lowered her binoculars to compose herself, a blush dusting her cheeks. So effortless… And the crowd loves it! she thought in awe. No matter what, I have to get him to join the Astronomy Club! She snapped the binoculars back to her eyes, watching intensely. She really didn’t need to watch the entire game, but… damn, that was a mouthwatering piece of man. She had to find some way to entertain herself while she waited for the game to end and her chance to corner him to finally present itself.

Needless to say, the football team absolutely demolished the baseball team. The rival players marched back to their diamond in defeat along with their gaggle of supporters, while the crowd flooded the practice field to heft a very bemused but giddy Eijirou on their shoulders with chants of his name. They dunked the container of water over his head as soon as his feet touched the grass again, making him laugh jovially. Mina’s heart fluttered at the sound; his laugh was as sunny as the rest of him, so bright she almost felt the need to close her eyes. He was just blinding, like the most intense star.

And just like with a star, Mina gravitated toward him.

Eventually, the raucous crowd dispersed and the football team started heading to the locker rooms to change out of their sweaty gym gear. They came tromping onto the sidewalk, with Eijirou trailing in the rear dripping wet and trying to wring water out of his tank. Mina almost forgot to spring out of the bushes, too occupied with the planes of his abs being revealed each time he wrung the fabric. She remembered her mission just as he passed the hydrangea bush, and leaped out in front of him with a delighted trill.

“That was a wonderful game, Eijirou!” she squealed, throwing her arms up and hiking up one leg behind her in a cute little flourish. The redhead jumped back with a small gasp, startled by her sudden appearance and the leaves and hydrangea petals clinging to her clothes and the soft fibers of her pink hair. Once he recovered, however, he gave her a charming smile that nearly had her melting into a pile of space slush.

“Oh! Thanks. Hey, you’re, uh—” he snapped his fingers quickly as he struggled to recall her, then pointed his fingers at her in a gun-like shape once it clicked, “Mina Ashido! You have homeroom with Tsuyu from the Amphibian Care club. She talks about you when she helps run the concession stand sometimes!”

“That’s right! The one and only!” she chirped, trying to suppress the surge of anger at the fact that Tsuyu could recruit for her club about pet frogs and turtles but Mina couldn’t get one single underling. Not to worry; that will all change soon!

“This might be an odd question, but, uh… is there a reason you were hiding in the bushes?” he laughed awkwardly. Mina blushed when he leaned forward to gently brush the leaves and petals from her shoulders and hair, which made her short-circuit for a second. It was only when he looked at her inquisitively that her brain jump-started again.

“O-oh! I thought it would be fun to surprise you! Yanno, like in the movies where someone jumps out of a big ol’ birthday cake!” It was a bold-faced lie, but it wasn’t like she could tell him she was spying on him through binoculars while she schemed to reel him into her club. Trying to keep him from thinking too hard about it, she placed her hands on her hips and straightened up. “I watched your practice match with the baseball team and have decided that you’ll be a perfect fit for the Astronomy Club! So please join. <3”

Eijirou blinked owlishly at her, his bright red eyes swimming with confusion. He smiled bashfully, clearly trying not to let his utter perplexity show on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous chuckle.

“Well, um, I’m really not sure how you made that connection watching me play…”

“The inner workings of a woman’s mind are quite an enigma~” she hummed with a waggle of her finger. Eijirou only scrunched his eyebrows in confusion and jumped when she slapped her hand down on his shoulder. “Seriously! You seem like a great fit! Please consider at least trying it out for a little while?” She batted her eyelashes demurely; if nothing else, her womanly charms could entice the burly football player to at least humor her for a while.

Sure enough, a pink blush dusted across his cheeks and a bashful smile curled onto his lips.

“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt checking it out… Stars are cool…”

“Fabulous!” she squealed, making Eijirou flinch again as she clapped her hands together and jumped up and down in elation. Even if Eijirou didn’t join permanently, just the rumor of his interest in her humble little club was liable to attract attention. “I know that you’re busy with football practice, so we’ll schedule club meetings on Friday afternoons when you don’t have them, okay?”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. I don’t want to inconvenience any—”

“Great! So it’s settled then! I’ll see you on Friday afternoon in Room 310!” With that, she jumped back into her bush, leaving Eijirou staring at the quivering leaves in confusion. Through the gaps in the branches, she saw him open and close his mouth like he wanted to say something, look around and then up at the sky with a pensive look, and then smile with a shrug of his shoulders. Mina clutched her binoculars to her chest as a smile bloomed on her own lips, but one of satisfaction. Surely this will work! The Astronomy Club will be booming in no time! She thought with a giddy snicker.

If nothing else, she could look at Eijirou’s absolutely dreamy body and face for a few club meetings and drive his fangirls nuts.

At the end of the week, Mina paced impatiently in front of Room 310, chewing her fingernails to nubs as her eyes darted back and forth around the hall. It had only been a few minutes since the final bell had rung and the students had scattered to attend to their Friday afternoon obligations (or lack thereof), but anxiety swirled in Mina’s belly at the complete emptiness of the halls. Has he stood me up? Was I too pushy? Is he secretly a great big jerk who is nice to people’s faces but scathingly berates them behind their back to his football teammates and they all laugh evilly at the unknowing victim’s expense?

With a dramatic sob, Mina flung herself against the classroom door and hugged it, her fingers just barely curling around the wide frame. Once again, it seemed that her recruitment plan had failed miserably, and she was still the sole member of the Astronomy Club. Was she a doomed stranded astronaut, left to traverse the stars in silence awaiting a bitter end? She sank to her knees, sliding down the door with a long squeeeeeeeeak and crying bitter tears. Stars were hella cool! Why did no one at this stupid high school appreciate them?

“Mina!”

Mina’s mood did a complete one-eighty when she heard Eijirou calling her name and his footsteps pounding around the corner. She jumped to her feet, her tears drying up instantly and her pout morphing into a giddy smile. The redhead came trotting up, a thin sheet of sweat on his forehead and an apologetic smile on his face.

“Sorry!” he panted. “I didn’t get a chance to warn you that my class is all the way on the first floor. I hope you weren’t waiting long!”

“No, no! I just got here mys— yeowch!”

She had still been hugging the door, so when she tried to turn to face him, she accidentally pulled it forward and smashed her fingers in the doorjamb. She screamed as her knucklebones crunched and the skin tore; the pain rocketing up her arm sprang tears to her eyes immediately, and she released a petulant whine as she retracted her bruised and bloody fingers from between the wooden door and concrete wall.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay, Mina?” Eijirou gasped, dropping his school bag and rushing to her side. Mina cradled her throbbing hand to her chest with little sniffles, curling away from the football player when he reached for it. He gave her an encouraging, sweet smile. “I know I look big and tough, but I promise, I can be gentle too. Let me see; you may have broken something.”

Whimpering but enticed by his soothing words and demeanor, Mina obediently allowed him to pull her hand forward to inspect her fingers. They were bruising already, big blotches of purple blooming around the torn and bloody skin. Eijirou leaned over her hand, and goosebumps sprouted on her skin as his warm breath puffed over her electrified skin and aching bones. With featherlight touches, he inspected her knuckles, prodding as gently as he could to feel for any deviations in the bone.

“I know this may hurt, but can you bend them?” he asked, looking up at her through his red bangs. Mina whimpered again, hesitant to comply for fear of the pain. However, the glitter in his vermilion eyes urged her to comply. She hesitantly bent her fingers, wincing as pain skittered up her nerves— but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as she thought it would. Eijirou smiled satisfactorily. “You crunched ‘em pretty good, but I don’t think anything is broken or fractured,” he said as he straightened up.

“Thanks… I can’t believe I did that,” she sighed, using her good hand to knock on the side of her head a few times. How embarrassing, injuring herself like that in front of him! “Well, now that all that drama is over, let’s go inside so I can tell you about the club.”

Eijirou followed her inside. While she rifled through the teacher’s desk for some bandages, he looked around at the desks, which were empty aside from a build-your-own-telescope kit, Mina’s completed telescope, and astronomical charts and textbooks. As Mina wrapped bandages around her fingers, he looked at her with knitted eyebrows.

“There’s no one else here yet?”

“There’s no one else to be here,” she replied with a shrug and a wan smile. “I’m the club’s only member.” When Eijirou’s eyebrows shot up to the roots of his hair, she sadly added, “If that information makes you want to leave, go ahead and do so,” she said with a wave at the door. She then looked down at the adhesive wrapped around her knuckles. “You wouldn’t be the first.”

“No, I don’t want to leave,” Eijirou said quickly. He marched up to the front of the desk, leaning against it. Mina didn’t know what to look at—his flexing muscles or his bright smile. He tilted his head slightly as he smiled charmingly at her, then said, “Tell me about your club, Mina. I want to know everything.”

Oh God, he’s hot! Mina screamed inside her head, her good hand flying to her rapidly-beating heart. It took everything within her not to absolutely swoon at the complete sweetheart of a man gracing her with his presence this Friday afternoon. Her eyes watered a little in gratitude, or maybe it was the sheer emotion at being witness to such a wonderful human being’s kindness.

Thus, Mina did as he asked. She first instructed Eijirou how to build the telescope that he would use on nights they did observations; he bungled through it a little, but remained patient and tried his best to follow the instructions. Mina had to giggle at the absolutely triumphant grin that plastered his face when he successfully assembled the telescope; he held it up over his head and pranced around—nearly giving them both a panic attack when he bumped into a desk and nearly dropped the telescope on the ground. Mina didn’t think she could handle a Shoto 2.0.

After assembling the telescope, she started him off with easy information—constellations. She unrolled her star map which had all the constellations displayed by season, explaining specifically which ones they could see at the moment. Eijirou was very excited to see them in person, so they arranged a meeting for the following week. True to form, he showed up that Friday night with his telescope and all his zeal, his smile brighter than the full moon hanging high in the sky.

“It’s hard to believe that people stared at the sky thousands of years ago and traced shapes out of ‘em!” he exclaimed as he plonked his telescope down to the ground. “And made up all these stories to go with ‘em. And all the stories and constellations are different based on what civilization was lookin’ at ‘em!”

“The stars have always been fascinating,” Mina hummed, gently setting up her telescope and adjusting the lens. “Sometimes I like to find my own constellations and make up stories about them.”

“Really? Tell me one!”

“Well, my favorite is the Alien Queen!”

“The Alien Queen?” Eijirou laughed, making Mina flush shyly. “Show me!” Not waiting for an answer, he shouldered in next to her telescope and peered into it. She flushed darker as his sturdy shoulder dug into the meat of her side, warmth blooming across her skin. With slightly trembling hands, she moved the telescope to the right section of the sky.

“Do you see that big, bright shiny star right there?” she asked, waiting until Eijirou confirmed. “Well, that’s the tip of the back of her head. If you follow them like this—” she gestated in front of the lens, tracing the star pattern— “it looks kinda like the alien from the horror movie!”

“Leave it to Mina Ashido to find the Xenomorph constellation,” Eijirou snickered, straightening up to smile at her in amusement. “No wonder you’re the club president.” Mina shyly played with the hem of her skirt, unable to control the giddy smile playing over her lips.

They spent the rest of the early evening finding the constellations and discussing the various mythologies behind each. Eijirou loved the Greek-based patterns and myths the most. Every time they pointed one out, he would flex dramatically and proclaim how much he loved the famous heroes of old—Hercules, Achilles, Odysseus, Perseus. Mina laughed at his sensational flexing and grunting each time, her giggles bouncing around the empty practice field to join the cricket song.

Monday morning, Mina was surprised to find Eijirou rushing down the hall towards her as she went to enter her classroom. His face was flushed pink and his forehead dotted with sweat, indicating that he’d sprinted all the way to her. He pin-wheeled to a stop, nearly bumping her with his broad chest, and his breath puffed in her hair as he grinned brightly down at her.

“Mina! Guess what I saw on the news this morning! The Creati comet is gonna be passing by this Wednesday, and it’ll be visible here that night!”

“Yeah, I know!” Mina cried. She’d been glued to the news program this morning as astrophysicists and space program officials discussed the once-in-a-lifetime event; it was rumored to be an absolute gorgeous comet, with a rare rosy pink-lavender tail due to its high concentrations of lithium and potassium chloride. She then blushed, warmed by the fact that Eijirou had found it so important to inform her that he’d run all the way across campus first thing in the morning.

“Yeah! We’re gonna watch it together, right?” he asked, clapping his hands on her shoulders. Mina flushed, fidgeting in place and chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“A-are you sure? I’m sure you’ll be tired after football practice.”

“Are you kidding? What kind of Astronomy Club member would I be if I didn’t see this comet?” he objected.

Mina felt her heart thrum at the statement. Does he enjoy being a member that much? She’d only recruited him as a means to an end, but was it really turning out that Eijirou liked being a member of her club? She felt her belly twist with guilt and a cold flush pulse through her body. She curled into herself a little, blood roaring in her ears and nearly drowning out what he said next.

“I know you’re planning on going to watch it, so let’s see it together, Mina!”

“Okay,” she found herself saying before she even processed it. The next two days were a similar blur of guilt and anxiety amidst preparations to view the comet Wednesday evening. All traces of excitement she would normally possess was swallowed up by the remorse poisoning her from the hard ball in the pit of her belly. She couldn’t help but obsess over the fact that she’d recruited Eijirou on false pretenses, abusing his kind heart to use his popularity for her own gain. She’d already received a flood of interest in the club once news had spread that Eijirou was seemingly an official member, but she’d evaded them with half-hearted promises that she’d contact them soon to set up a general interest meeting.

On Wednesday night she stood by the hydrangea bush, chewing on her bottom lip and tempted to hide within its emerald leaves and pink blossoms so she wouldn’t have to face Eijirou. Before she could take shelter in its branchy depths, the redhead came trotting up the sidewalk, his smile gleaming in the starlight as he called her name. His telescope flopped on his back in its canvas sheath.

“Hey, Mina!” he grinned when he came to a stop in front of her, panting slightly. Always in such a rush, she thought fondly. No wonder he’s the star quarterback. “Are you excited? I sure am!”

“Yeah,” she lied. There was no room to be excited with all the guilt filling her to the brim. Eijirou’s smile somehow managed to get brighter. Despite everything, her heart still jumped in her chest when he grabbed her hand, his thick and calloused fingers so strangely perfect around her slim ones, and pulled her onto the practice field.

“This is perfect!” he exclaimed, looking up at the starry night sky with his hands on his hips. Mina only hummed quietly, robotically unfolding a blanket and placing it over the grass. She’d arranged for the school to shut off the nighttime lights for the evening, giving them a clear view of the moon and stars. Thus, they were the only things that provided illumination as Mina and Eijirou sat down on the soft blanket together. “I didn’t know if we would want to get a better look at the comet, so I brought this!” he said excitedly, slipping the telescope off his back and setting it down between them. Mina hummed again, anxiety swirling in the pit of her belly. In the gloom, she could still see Eijirou’s bright red eyebrows scrunch.

“Mina…? What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. Mina debated lying for a moment; she nervously plucked at the loose fibers of her stockings, unable to meet his pretty vermillion eyes. The lie never got the chance to dance on her tongue. She knew she had to come clean, to tell him the truth before she toted him along even further.

“Eijirou… I have to confess something,” she admitted quietly. He shifted beside her, eyebrows raised.

“What is it?”

“I’m not as good a person as you think I am.” Her voice shook as tears flooded her eyes. She bit down on her lip as a sniffle slipped free. Eijirou looked at her in utter bewilderment, confusion swirling in those gorgeous vermillion eyes that had struck her the moment she had first seen them. He gently reached out to stroke his fingertips ever-so-lightly down her cheek; she turned away, a tear slipping down her cheek that was still tingling with his featherlight touch. “Don’t,” she begged, her voice nothing more than a strained whisper. “I don’t deserve your sympathy.”

“Mina…”

“I used you, Eijirou,” she said finally, choking the words out as her throat constricted with guilt. “I used your popularity for my own gain. I just wanted my club to be popular.”

She didn’t look at him as the silence hung heavy between them, like an anvil suspended on a slowly fraying rope. She waited with bated breath for the rope to snap and for it to plummet, for him to explode on her like he rightfully should, to tell her she was selfish and cruel and for him to storm away and never look back. She cringed when he inhaled sharply, already preparing for his raised voice.

He didn’t yell or scream or curse. Instead, his voice was heartbreakingly soft when he murmured, “That doesn’t make you a bad person. That just makes you lonely.”

Mina’s eyes fluttered as her heart swelled with hope. She didn’t resist when he cupped her cheek and gently turned her tear-stained face to look at him. Her watery eyes met his red ones, and she was so relieved to find them brimming with understanding, not hate or anger. He swept his thumb over her cheek to catch the tears still streaming over her ruddy skin.

“Mina… I knew that already,” he confessed with a small smile. She gasped in shock, while Eijirou smiled bashfully and rubbed at the back of his neck with his other hand. “As soon as you told me that you were the only member of the club, I figured that you wanted to use my popularity to recruit more people. I was a little bitter about it for a second, but… Then I saw how sad you looked.” He used both his hands to cup her cheeks and leaned forward to press his forehead to hers. “I didn’t want to see that look on your face. Even if you were using me, I wanted you to be happy.”

“Why?” she hiccuped, chest drawing tight like a balloon ready to burst. “Th-that was so horrible of me… And you still wanted to do that for me? Why?”

“Because from the moment you jumped out of that hydrangea bush, I’ve been head-over-heels for you,” he purred, mouth twitching up into a smirk. Her face flushed with a fierce, fiery blush and her mouth dropped open in shock. “And maybe I was a little hopeful that I could get you to be head-over-heels for me, too,” he added with a playful wink. Mina couldn’t help but laugh, mostly from the overwhelming relief bubbling up inside her body. She leaned into him, finding solace in how well her small body fit into his muscular one—like a lock and key, like they belonged together.

Sniffling happily, she curled her fingers into the leathery fabric of his varsity jacket and smiled joyfully.

“Well, you didn’t have to try very hard. How could I not be head-over-heels for you?”

Before they could say anything else, the sky was suddenly filled with bright light. They both turned to see that the comet had appeared among the stars. Its powdery tail streamed pinkish-blue behind the large white body, slowly traveling across the expanse of inky blue like a leisurely sailboat. Mina inhaled sharply as the pastel colors reflected in her eyes and the light danced over her skin and hair; it truly was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She was so entranced that she didn’t register Eijirou’s hand sneaking under her chin again until he turned her face back. The comet danced in his red eyes, making it a pink nebula of stars and space and beauty.

No. Those eyes of his were the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

She almost didn’t want to close her own as he leaned in to kiss her, but as soon as his lips smoothed over her own, she couldn’t help it. They drifted shut as she melted against him, savoring the gentle motions of his mouth against hers. Her heart fluttered when his hand drifted up into her cotton-candy hair, twirling around the strands like he was memorizing the feel of the silky threads. He kissed her with rising passion, like an astronaut adrift in space who’d finally found the oxygen he needed.

They pulled apart slightly panting and blushing the same color as the comet streaming slowly above their heads. He stroked her face gently, then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on the blanket. She laughed when he hugged her tight, nuzzled into her hair and inhaled deeply.

“You smell like hydrangeas.”

“Eijirou, I thought we were here to watch the comet.”

“It’s pretty,” he remarked with a glance up at the sky. He then looked down at her with that dazzling smile she adored so much. “But I’ve got a heavenly body right here that I’m more interested in.”

“Oh my gosh! That’s so corny!” she howled, throwing her head back in laughter. Eijirou snickered and snuggled into the side of her face, making her laugh more at the ticklish sensation of his nose brushing her skin. He peppered butterfly kisses over every inch of skin he could find, making her squirm and giggle in his grasp.

Finally, he rolled on his side, one arm still snug around her shoulders while he watched the comet slowly make its way across the horizon. She pressed against him, warm and fuzzy and happy.

“You know, despite the circumstances, I’m still glad you asked me to join, Mina,” Eijirou said with a contented sigh. His fingers drifted up to play with the fluffy strands of her hair. Mina rested her head on his chest, smiling while she watched the comet.

“Me too, Eijirou. I can’t wait to spend the rest of the school year checking out heavenly bodies.”

Eijirou gave her a wan look as she snorted piggishly in laughter.

“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Absolutely not. I’m already planning to sell tee shirts!”

Eijirou laughed, then rolled over to attack her with snuggles and kisses again. Mina welcomed his embrace and affections. Their laughter drifted up into the sky to join the stars and the streaming glittery trail of the comet, finding a home forever in the vastness of space…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

#kirimina #mina x kirishima #kirishima x mina #mina ashido #ashido mina #kirishima eijirou #eijirou kirishima #my hero academia #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha

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limitlessgojo · 3 years

Text

The Truth Hurts, but does it really?

Kamo Noritoshi x F!Reader

This is Part 2 of the story.

Here is part 1

Extra: Kamo's POV

You quickly flew straight to the edge of the campus. Thank goodness it's covered in many trees at the border. You gently made your descent and jogged over to a small open field surrounded by trees. There were small bushes of roses here and there. Releasing your cursed technique, you sat down on a flat stone and breathed out a large sigh.

You took a moment to breathe and looked up to see the pink, orange, and blue sky. The sun was beginning to set. It's gorgeous. 'What in earth do I do now?! I just confessed to him didn't I? In front of like at least half the student body?!'

You can literally hear your pulse thundering against your eardrums with how furiously your heart is beating, both from the adrenaline of flying high up and the disaster that just happened.

You remembered the shock in Noritoshi's eyes. He didn't look so happy upon hearing the confession. 'I've gone and fcked up didn't I? How could I ever talk to him again?'. You finally decided to live a life of forgetting him. 'Okay. I'll definitely apologise. Not now but soon". What more can you do? Just do your best to put your feelings for him behind.

"Ahhhh, I wanna listen to BTS." You reached for your phone, only to realize it wasn't with you. Ah shit. What a day this was. You only wanted your phone, but even that was with Noritoshi-senpai.

You closed your eyes and sat quietly. About 10 to 15 minutes passed in silence. It was just you, the wind that you loved so much, the trees, and the darkening skies. Finally, your pulse slowed down to a steady beat. You could feel the fog from your head clearing up a bit more, your thoughts getting more organized as you began to compartmentalize.

You blew out a loud breath and sigh as you felt yourself getting hungry. You needed to go back soon, but you didn't have any courage to do so. The sun had already set, and the sky was turning darker by the second.

But just standing up and thinking about Noritoshi already makes your knees weak. You've always found it a bit harder to fall in love. But when you do, you completely find yourself devoted to that person.

"Why I am I like this?!!" You frustratedly pulled the roots of your hair. "Why indeed y/n". At the sound of your name, you whipped your head towards the source of the sound, only to find Noritoshi standing at the edge of the open clearing by the trees. He was damn good at hiding his presence.

Time froze. The harsh winds have transformed into a gentle breeze. You didn't dare breathe, just stared at him. Then remembered what you had to do. "I'm so sorry for earlier." You blurted out loud as you suddenly stood up.

Noritoshi's expression darkened. You felt yourself shiver and shrink into yourself. 'Ah, I made him more mad didn't I?". He walked towards you, while you slowly stepped backwards. "I didn't mean to confess- I mean, there was this cursed tool that Mai senpai had- and she and Momo senpai told me they wanted to help me look for my phone, but that was after I did what they-".

Your words were brought to a halt as your back hit the trunk of a tree. Noritoshi stopped just as you did. The sky grew dark and another awkward silence stretched between the two of you. He suddenly leaned down and sternly said, "Don't apologize".

What.

"Are you apologising because you like me? It makes me feel bad, like you're trying to take your confession back." He grumbled, confusing you further.

".... How did you even find me?"

"Your cursed energy is leaking everywhere, I could sense it from afar." He stated.

He was still frowning. You found yourself wanting to smooth out the lines on his face, so you cupped his cheek. The edges of his lips quirked up as you did so, and he leaned ever so slightly into your touch. You eyed his features, eventually settling on his lips. 'Does he like me back?'

Finding a burst of bravery, you looked up at him, straight into his eyes and confessed properly.

"Noritoshi senpai. I've liked you for a long time now. I think I more than like you, but I'm not sure if you feel the same way so...." You trailed off feeling more unsure by the second.

He leaned down, placing one hand above yours, and pressed in close to you until his half lidded eyes were all that you can see. You can feel his breath against your lips, only a centimeter apart from his. He smells so good and clean, like warm freshly laundered cotton sheets with fabric softener. You felt the tension seep away from your form as he finally murmured "I love you too", in response to your confession from earlier.

His lips pressed against yours as you closed your eyes. Warmth was all you could feel around you. Your head feels way too fuzzy like you're tucked in the softest blankets in the middle of winter.

You reached up and clasped your hands together behind the base of his neck, playing with the baby hairs there. He shivered then slid an arm around your waist with another hand behind your head, pulling you even closer to him.

His lips were so soft. You nibbled on his lower lip, and you felt him smile against you. He then pried your lips apart with his tongue and slipped it inside your mouth. This was your first kiss, so you just let him lead. Before long, you were running short of air, and you repeatedly patted his shoulder before he got the message and let go.

It was only then you realized how heavy Noritoshi was breathing as well, his face flushed red. Visible even in the dark. "Is it too fast for you?" He quietly asked. Even at a time like this, he is so thoughtful. "N-no, I'm fine." you replied as you stared back at him. He smiled as you brought your hands to his face. Kissing the tips of your fingers, then the inside of your wrist, he pulled you back and peppered kisses all over your face.

He pulled you down to the ground. You sat in his lap, making yourself comfortable before leaning back up to catch his lips. His hands felt hot and heavy, running down the side of your body, as if trying to convince himself that this is real. Noritoshi tasted too good. You were losing yourself in him.

He pulled down the collar of your uniform to suck the skin and leave love marks there, making you moan out and shiver.

"Senpai! I- I've never-". He stopped and kissed you on the forehead ever so gently. "Let's take it slow then love? I've never as well".

You stare at him, unbelieving. The man should have some experience with the way he made you so dizzy. "I'm telling the truth you know." He muttered, ears red.

It was then you realized that he was trying to put on a stronger front. So that he could take the lead and not seem awkward.

He brought his lips beside your ears as he nervously laughed, his breath making you shiver. 'Ah. Her ears and neck are her weak points' Noritoshi thought to himself.

"Be mine?" He asked you while kissing the side of your neck. "Yes I'm all yours. As long as you're mine too." You shook as he latched onto your weak spots. You pushed at his chest. "Can I get a bit of air?" You whispered. He smiled down at you, giving you a bit of space.

A distraction would be nice. "Here's your phone." he handed it to you. "Aaahhh you're the best Noritoshi senpai!!!" He leaned down once again pressing his lips to your ear as he whispered, "Didn't realize that you loved me more than you did BTS." (This man doesn't have any self control when it comes to you apparently).

For the millionth time that night, your brain just stopped functioning. You felt your cheeks heat up even more, realising that he saw the polaroid of both of you that was stuck to the back of the phone case. Just under the Suga photocard.

"Noritoshi senpai, I don't think I can handle anymore teasing." You weakly tried to push him off while he continued kissing your ear and neck. 'Has he always been this touchy??', you wondered.

"Toshi".

"Huh?" Now it was his turn to blush and fluster.

"I wanna call you Toshi, if you don't mind. Or darling?" You smiled up at him as you hug him tightly once more. He flushed REALLY BRIGHT RED upon hearing the term of endearment. 'He is so cute.' "Of course you can. Call me anything you want love", he snuggled against you, rubbing your cheeks together.

....

.. .

"Toshi, we need to go back now."

"Ah" he said. "Five more minutes". He dove back for more kisses. Who knew Kamo Noritoshi was just a fluffy teddy bear?

"Fine. But I'm the one flying us back, we need to hurry later." You pouted up at him, but he just gently smiled and kissed your pout away.

-------

Epilogue (Bonus after story scene)

Five minutes later, on the dot because Noritoshi is proper like that, he was holding onto you, as both of you flew back to the main building. "Oh bloody hell." You muttered as you could see Mai and Momo cheering and hooting from afar. "Nup, detour. Toshi! My room or yours?" You asked him. Putting your cursed technique in motion as you placed another invisible cloak over the both of you.

"Mine", he replied straight-faced as ever. "Y/N-CHAN you owe us deets tomorrow!!!" both girls yelled out loud as soon as they saw both of you disappear. "Oh my gosh, just ignore them Toshi." He laughed above you, still holding onto your shoulders. You both landed in front of the door to his room. "We should thank them for somehow helping us get together. But then again they're the types to hold it against us so best to not thank them." he said as you both entered his room.

Your heart kick-started another fast beat as you walked inside. You're alone, with your lover.

"I'm home" he said. You felt your eyes mist a bit. Oh how you loved him fiercely with all your heart, and now he's all yours. "Welcome home, Toshi".

~~~~~~~~~~

Second extra side scene:

Arata was still rummaging around, looking for your phone until he ended up in the common dining room. "Good evening Zenin senpai, Nishimiya senpai, have any of you seen y/n's phone? She misplaced it somewhere." He wheezed out.

"Noritoshi found it already, it's all good." Mai found herself laughing at the poor boy who was stressed out from you earlier, freaking out about losing your Lil Meow Meow or something. "Ahh, I can finally get some rest." Arata cried.

(yes reward the poor boy who looked for your phone for hours and still ended up empty handed, while Noritoshi somehow found it immediately).

Author's notes: Hope you enjoyed reading! This was originally intended as a one-shot. But it grew much longer than I expected so I made it a two-part. And now I can think of extending it for a bit longer. Or leaving it as it is.

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #kamo noritoshi x y/n #kamo noritoshi x you #noritoshi x you #noritoshi x y/n #noritoshi x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #kamo x reader #kamo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #noritoshi fluff

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tobiosmilktea · 4 years

Note

I really like the hidden feelings hc you wrote! And was wondering if you could do them for,,,,ushijima, akaashi, Osamu and kageyama🥺👉👈

hidden feelings with ushijima, akaashi, osamu, and kageyama (vol. 2)

original prompt: in which you tell your best friend that you were in love with someone else... but that someone else is actually them

a/n: AHHH im glad you all liked the first part! lowkey they were really fun to write so i hope you guys like this one as well

— u. wakatoshi

i kinda suck at writing ushijima, so bear with me on this one uh

one of the biggest things about toshi when he likes someone is that he respects them fully and looks up to them at times, so it surely intensifies when the person he likes is his best friend

and because of this, he fully respects the idea of you liking someone even though he affects him to the very core

it started off like this:

you have been incredibly close with shiratorizawa’s ace ever since you two met in middle school and even then he was known as an amazing volleyball player, not to mention he was super intimidating even as a first year in middle schooler

never in a million years have you ever thought that you would even become friends let alone become best friends as you felt you two had nothing in common

toshi was super into volleyball and athletic meanwhile you stuck with your academics

really the only thing you and him had in common was that you two had the same homeroom for the majority of your time here at shiratorizawa academy

but here you two were, in the midst of an awkward plateau in your friendship that only you can be blamed for

tendou satori, in his loud and boisterous glory often hung around you and toshi and quickly found out about your feelings for the vb captain

granted, you were quite blunt about your feelings for toshi, but as the naive individual he was who new nothing about love besides his feelings for volleyball, he usually overlooked your attempts at casual and harmless flirting

and since you two were now in your final years of high school together, you couldn’t help but feel dejected at the fact you would inevitably go your own separate ways

“just confess to him dumbass!” tendou would tell you (more like shout, but it’s not like ushijima would even spare a blink at that)

“toshi doesn’t seem like the guy who has romantic feelings for someone, satori.” you sighed doubtfully

“so?” the redhead pressed, “what’s the worse that can happen?”

you scoff, “umm,, rejection homie, duh??”

“you don’t have to necessarily confess to him, (y/n).” he suggests, “you could always ask if he’s into anybody and if he says that he likes you, then BINGO!”

you were still hesitant about it though, but as the year was ending in a couple months you literally had nothing to lose

you walked up to ushijima after practice, walking back towards the dorms

since the academy’s campus was gigantic for no reason, it allowed enough time for you two to talk privately

“toshi,” you started, your heart jumping into your throat each time your arms would briefly brush against each other. “do you like anyone?”

you looked up at him, searching for an answer within his visage but it was deadpanned per usual

“sure,” he muttered, “i like you—”

your breath hitched and your heart was beating so fast you could combust

‘—and i like tendou and semi and everyone else i know. they’re great friends.”

oh how your excitement had never faded so quickly

homie really said SIKE and you couldn’t help but feel like an idiot

“no, toshi, i meant as in do you have feelings for someone...”

“oh... depends.”

vague. but at least it was an answer

“do you like anyone, (y/n)?” he asked and you immediately nodded

“yeah, i do like someone, but honestly, i doubt he likes me back.” you professed and you could’ve swore you saw the muscle in his jaw tense

“and why is that?”

you shrug, taking your eyes off him and back towards the ground. “i think he’s too occupied with volleyball, so i doubt dating is definitely not a priority of his—”

toshi’s fists within his pockets were balling with his knuckles turning completely white from the pressure, “who?”

“u-um, i don’t know if i’m comfortable enough to say...”

it was then toshi would grab your wrist, gently tugging you back into an embrace

your eyes widened into saucers at the sudden gesture, this was definitely not normal for ushijima but then again confessing your feelings for someone shouldn’t be a normal, everyday thing

“i want to know who, (y/n).” he repeated again

“why do you want to know so badly?”

ushijima gulped down the lump forming in his throat as for the first time he felt nervous to talk to you, “because i have a feeling it’s me.”

“hUH?” you exclaimed

like perhaps you were actually taken aback considering you thought he would never come to conclusion that it was him, unless...

“... tendou told me.”

yup there it was

a frustrated sigh left your lips, “of course it was. that loudmouth never keeps his mouth shut i swear—”

“but i like you too.” toshi quickly cut in, completely straight to the point as there was no reason to beating around the bush at this point anyway

“you do?”

he nods, “i’m just glad it’s not semi.”

— a. keiji

homeboy is BLUNT

like really blunt, it would be a surprise if he wasn’t the one to call you out on your bullshit when you told him your liked someone

he would always do so when bokuto says or does something stupid, but of course you were an exception since he had feelings for you as well

in a mere sense of miscommunication (or lack thereof) as akaashi tends to not show much at all

even in the most emotional events where most others can’t help but be happy or sad or excited or angry, it seems he always had that calm visage all over his face

because of that, you couldn’t tell whether or not he even noticed how daft and obvious your feelings were towards him

then again, his usual calm and quiet demeanor did mean that he could read others like an open book with how observant he was

the thing is, he was well aware of your advances and honestly liked seeing your blushing face and how your attention was on him and him only

you regard of having your eyes only on him kinda made him feel prideful that it was him you focused on, but he would never in a million years tell you that from the fear that you would stop

so he would act oblivious towards your feelings for him

however, he didn’t take into account that you could pine for someone for so long before you get bored

well, you weren’t exactly bored of akaashi as you were still head over heels for him, it was more like you had grown tired of your strategy of winning him over

so who else could you go to besides bokuto, your other best friend

“you know, akaashi really likes it when you fawn over him but he doesn’t say anything about it cause he knows you’d get flustered and stop.” the silver haired boy muttered into your ear during lunch, “but you didn’t hear that from me

he then winked at you and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him as you make your way to akaashi

you greeted him like normal, talk to him like any other best friend would before you nonchalantly mentioned you liked someone

and you could’ve swore you saw his jaw tighten and his eye twitch

he scoffed at the mere thought of you giving all your love and affection towards another guy that wasn’t him

akaashi is never the type of guy that gets jealous easily as most of the time being jealous is being unreasonable, but here he was being unreasonable

it wasn’t like you were his s/o or anything, but it genuinely irked him

“who is it?” he would ask, trying to sound calm as possible.

homie can barely make eye contact with you because he would instantly melt into a puddle for you

“well...” you hesitate to say anything in case he would figure out it was him, but you honestly had nothing to lose if it came to that point where you confessed right here and now. “he’s on the volleyball team and he’s in our year.”

it was then you slapped your hand over your mouth as you realized that akaashi was the only second year on fukurodani’s vb team

“uhh, i mean—” you tried to lie but was immediately cut off by him

this is where akaashi’s bluntness comes into play

“you know if you said you liked me, this would’ve been easier on the both of us,” he mutters, smoothly wrapping his hand around yours. “cause i like you too, (y/n).”

you struggled to respond as you were too busy internally screaming at that he was literally holding your hand rn “y-you do?”

“of course,” he shrugs as he pulled you to walk with him back to your classroom, “i wouldn’t let you focus on anyone else besides me, anyway.”

— m. osamu

like akaashi, he has a really calm visage and doesn’t show much emotion

but unlike akaashi, he really bother trying to hide the fact that he does know of your feelings for him

if anything he feels smug about it, but literally refuses to say anything about it cause you were to oblivious to see it yourself

he figured you’d find out in the long run as this pining was actually kinda fun for him

so there he would be, acting as normal as possible while you casually flirted with him and acting as if you two were nothing more than just having playful banter as best friends do

lowkey i honestly see the miya twins having some form of commitment issues, so osamu would most likely not progress your relationship any further

he likes to think it’s because he likes lowkey teasing you, but in reality, despite knowing of your feelings well, he fears that a relationship with him (something more than just best friends) he’d think that he will disappoint you in the long run

eventually, like any old game being repeated over and over again, you got tired of it

it had gotten so bad that you even went to atsumu for advice

literally the moment you went up to him and even muttered the words, “i need your help,” was totally uncalled for and even shocked atsumu

nonetheless, he felt honored and stupidly cocky that you were going to him for relationship advice

atsumu super cheeky when it came to this, but since osamu was still his brother he never told you that osamu was aware of your feelings

instead his first idea was to make him jealous

being quite the competitive twins they were, there was always a stigma between them and shared things

not that they had minded sharing normal everyday things as they were used to that growing up, but you were an exception obviously. you weren’t an object and specifically you were osamu’s best friend

when you and the twins grew up together, osamu had made it very clear and evident that you were his and his only and greatly hated whenever atsumu would put his arm over your shoulders and call you his best friend

“honestly, i think you should just tell you like someone else.” atsumu spoke to you, mindlessly munching on chips in his bedroom

you had came over to the miya household and osamu definitely found it sus when you made your way to his brother’s room instead of his where you two would usually hang out

you mentioned some small white lie that you needed to talk about a project with atsumu and that he could go into the kitchen and make some snacks while they were speaking

but at this point, you were in atsumu’s room for way too long for osamu’s liking and he was getting super jealous ngl

“so you want me to lie?” you scoffed over at the blond boy

“not necessarily,” he says. “you saying that ya like someone is completely true as the person you like is him, dummie”

you roll your eyes but he continues, “just don’t specify who it is to the point where he eventually confesses his feelings for you.”

“and how do you know he likes me back?”

“twin intuition, (y/n)”

that’s when you finally left his room and made your way to the kitchen where osamu had a hard look on his face as he aggressively slide a plate of onigiri towards you

“looks delicious, samu” you complimented nonchalantly.

“what were you two doing in there?” he immediately questioned

this caused you to instantly take into account of what atsumu suggested without a second thought, “we were talking about the guy i like”

osamu let out a scoff, forcing himself not to roll his eyes and he asked who it was

“just some random person.” you say as you munched on the onigiri

“well, i don’t want a random person to have someone that belongs to me.” osamu mutters out of the blue, stopping you from chewing

your eyes had widened as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “what do you mean? it’s not like we’re dating or anything—”

“but what if i want us to.”

UMM SIR ???

your appetite immediately disappeared as you felt your heart swell and your nerves jump. the rhythm of your heartbeat was pulsating so quickly you swore that your he could hear how fast it was going

“but...” osamu suddenly adds in before you could respond, “since i’m your best friend, i should be supportive of those you like—”

you sighed, a gentle honey-like chuckle left your lips. “idiot,” you breathed out affectionately, “i was talking about you, you’re the guy i like.”

it was then he made his way towards you and immediately pulled you into an embrace

“is that what you really talked about with atsumu for thirty minutes?”

you nod as your voice muffled into his broad chest

“cant believe you brought him into this,” he chuckles as you peck a soft kiss on the corner of his lip

— k. tobio

honestly this boy is the most oblivious out of everyone else

he genuinely thinks you’re in love when someone else when you literally make it pretty obvious

granted, kags just thinks it’s just you being yourself as he believes that you only act like that cause you’re his best friend

he thinks your cute flirts and subtle jokes that make him blush redder than a tomato was just your casual friendly banter when in reality you were actually trying to make some money moves lmao

and you noticed this

the thing is, you always liked teasing kags while shagging his hair as he tries to hide the blush on his face, so you figured you could did best

it was the day of the interhigh tournaments and he invited you to watch their first game against dateko

he always liked your presence at games as hearing your loud and thunderous shouts and chants always motivated him and fueled his fire

however, thirty minutes before the match had started, you and tobio were talking near the water fountains, wishing him good luck with some playful jokes thrown around here and there before you completely dropped the bomb on him

it went kinda like this:

the laughter from the last joke you cracked finally died down as tobio casually took a sip from the water fountain, filling a brief moment of comfortable silence between you two

that’s when you said it, “so there’s this guy i really like.”

and that completely caused the setter to choke on his water as he immediately straightened up and looked at you with saucers for eyes

“y-you do?” he stammered over his words as he whipped the drips of water from his face

nodding, you quickly threw him a smile. it was a smile he always liked seeing on your face, the one he couldn’t help but completely melt into an enigma which was you

tobio couldn’t help but feel his muscles tense and his heart suddenly stop beating

the idea that he was no longer the only guy in your life was terrifying

sure you were friends with the rest of the karasuno team and yet he afraid of that fact as he knew that he was the only one who could be this close to you

but the idea that another guy, someone possibly better than him being closer to you and than tobio could ever literally scared him

not because he had undeniable feelings for you since middle school, but the fact that his best friend might put more of their attention to their boyfriend rather than him

“anyway,” you cut in after you noticed that kags wasn’t responding. “i was planning to confess to him soon...” tobio swore he felt his heart plummet, “i just hope he likes me back.”

i hope he doesn’t, tobio thought completely unaware that you were talking about him

it was then hinata turned the corner and spotted you and tobio, “kageyama! hurry, we need to get on court!”

tobio attempted to shake the feeling of the tightening in his chest as he quickly said goodbye to you and ran towards the courts with hinata

you sigh to yourself before making your way back to the bleachers

once the game had started, you suddenly noticed a change in tobio’s demeanor

from the mere look on his face and to the way his muscles tensed every time he had set was different—almost determined to prove a point

and that was exactly what he was doing

the second the game started a whole knew visage melted upon his face, something mixed with the passion of the game and the determination of win was the chrysalis of the point was trying to make

that he was the only one worthy for you and he would prove it by perhaps playing the hardest and the strongest in the game to win for not only karasuno and his team, but for you as well

the entire game, from each of his receives, blocks, and sets that they were for you

you would always be so happy for him whenever he would win as you would through your arms around him and hug him until there’s no tomorrow

he wished to feel it once more the moment karasuno gained that final point to win

you swore your voice was going to get completely destroyed from the amounts of boisterous shouts leaving your mouth as karasuno had won against dateko

a smile appeared on your face as you watched your favorite boy throw his fist in the air and get absolutely trampled by the rest of his teammates

after the opposing teams shook hands, that’s when you raced down the stairs of the bleachers and dashed towards tobio as fast as you could

he had barely turned over his shoulder to see you coming at him at full speed

you immediately jumped on him and engulfed him into a hug, your legs wrapped around the setter as you exclaimed, “i’m so proud your tobio! i swear sometimes i wonder why i haven’t confessed to you sooner.”

that’s when he would accidentally drop you from the shock as would literally shout, “HUH??”

fortunately, you caught yourself before falling on your ass as you giggled lightly, “i was talking about you earlier, idiot.”

tobio literally felt a huge wave of relief, pulling you into a hug again. “oh thank god.”

the setter imagined that he was on the top of the world then, from winning karasuno’s first official game as a team to him finally winning over your heart

he had never felt better.

736 notes · View notes

cno-inbminor · 4 years

Text

ipsum exitio (pt. 1)

a/n: for reasons explained here, this fic will be released in 2 parts! i want to thank everyone again who’s expressed an interest in this, and i hope that it lives up to some expectation. this fic is really big on introspection and includes a lot of arguably necessary exposition.

but more importantly, i want to thank @/a-kaashi (raenah) for being a huge support and my beta for this piece. she’s put in so much effort and thoughts into helping me make this into what it is now, and i can’t thank her enough.

plot: self-destruction is in the calm before the storm, in the eye of a hurricane. but when the forces are right, the winds are rapid enough, the catalysts send you hurling, you find yourself leaving a monstrous and disastrous path in your wake.

characters: ushijima wakatoshi, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime (in pt. 2), and male oc, w/fem!reader possessing vagina/uterus/uterine-system (other oc’s also included)

wc: 16.5k

genre/warnings: (+18) slice of life, angst, descriptions and moments of high anxiety, explicit smut (in pt. 2) (w/slight degradation, size kink, spanking, etc.) & virginity loss, alcohol consumption, talks about virginity and sex toys, slow burn, pining, implied bisexual reader

pt. 2

A breeze flows in through the open window of your apartment, softly caressing your face as you lean against the sill on your elbows. You drink in the view of Tokyo at night like a fine wine sliding down your throat, attuning to all your senses. With tear ducts dry and dust caked along the rims of your eyes, they shut in defeat, the semblance of a white flag splayed on the back of your eyelids. Cars honk in the distance and your legs struggle to support your weight. The scent of sulfur from the earlier downpour teases at your nostrils, causing your nose to scrunch a bit as you openly take in the scenery before you again.

A nearby billboard flashes bright, mechanically cycling through advertisements and never resting. The LED lights paint a picture that you are all too acquainted with, even more so with the man in the frame. Your body is plunged into a lake of bitter nostalgia as your heart wrenches painfully. Instead of fighting against the resistance of the water and gravity, you succumb to the anchor dragging you down, knowing that eventually, the waves will recede, and you will return to shore again.

Inhale. Count. Exhale.

Breathe.

11 years ago

Shiratorizawa is and always has been a battle ground. It was a miracle that you even made it there, quite honestly. The pressure and the overwhelming suffocation of competition filled your lungs and lodged in your airway the day you moved into the dorms and attended orientation. Everyone seemed so tense, so on edge, clutching their folders and packets like lifelines while absorbing all information possible. A stray few seemed more at ease and relaxed, but to you at the time, that immediately sounded the alarms – to seemingly thrive in this environment from the very beginning could only be the marks of a dangerous but powerful person.

What became a source of comfort was the realization that everyone else felt equally as anxious as you, terrified of the hidden lions camouflaged in the masses. And each year, students crippled under the stress and high expectations – if you had to make an estimate, at least 83% of the student body would experience a breakdown during the time of final exams. But in the midst of all this academic madness, this debilitating drive to do more and reach beyond the sky, everyone found refuge in the school’s sports teams. Be it basketball, swimming, diving, volleyball, tennis – chances were someone in the top 5 of their respective sport within the prefecture would be at Shiratorizawa, and nothing proved more freeing than screaming your lungs out for the prides of your school.

Interestingly enough, you had found that liberation in the volleyball team, being able to turn off your brain with a switch and focus on something that had nothing to do with the filled pages of incomplete to-do lists in your agenda. Air batons in hand, water bottle by your side for the inevitable dry throat, you hollered and chanted with everyone else in the stands and watched the opponents surrender at the feet of none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi.

A force to be reckoned with, a skill that was so beautifully and adeptly honed, you understood very early on the massive admiration for the boy. Even only at 16, Wakatoshi had the physique of a grown man, the severity of his complexion intimidating everyone within 100 meters of him. The terrifying force of his spike and devilish spin resulting from being dominant in his left hand left the crowds in awe. It was evident that the coach used this to the team’s advantage, and suddenly, you felt the burning desire to be on the floor. You wanted to sit on the bench, to see his movement from the side and within an envious proximity – no worry for stray balls, only the chance to witness something so athletically beautiful and magnificent.

And even though you were crushed under a mountain of assignments and projects, as well as a whole slew of mini-projects you had given yourself to make your life harder, you were determined to add this on your list. The lack of self-control in pursuing your desires was going to kill you in the future, but this was not the day. So you dove in towards the trenches, filled out an application, gave all the reasons why having you as a manager would be more help than harm, and suddenly, you were standing on the side of the court next to coolers of water bottles.

You didn’t bother hiding your adoration for Wakatoshi, always having had a bit of a soft heart for the strong, silent type. He was a boy of few words, and each one seemed carefully chosen yet also charmingly candid. Most, except for his teammates, were relatively terrified to talk to him, but he was always polite and thanked you for your hard work. Perhaps it was your constant vulnerable state induced by stress that made you more likely to develop your first real crush on someone, to search for a refuge of sorts. Wakatoshi always seemed to have his life together, and it became painfully obvious to the others that you had developed affections for the school ace. Satori teased you endlessly, going as far as scheduling a poor attempt at an intervention to get a confession out of you. Whether it had been out of pity or a relentless amount of pressure from peers (read: Satori, again), Wakatoshi, by the grace of something powerful, accepted your feelings. Nevertheless, he was very clear in pointing out that this wouldn’t be like any other relationship.

“When not in class, I am most likely at volleyball practice. I do not subject myself to public displays of affection.”

“I understand.”

“I will also likely not have time for dates. I am sure you are aware of this with our heavy course load.”

“Of course.”

“But I will try my best to reciprocate some of your feelings. I have no experience in this, as you might know, but all I ask is for your support.”

“That’s without question.”

“Very well then. Are you sure you want to continue with this?” He inquired, his eyes boring straight into yours to search for the answer.

Little did you know that your affirmation had signed a warrant for your soul, a revelation that would only unearth just thirteen months later.

Being in a relationship with Wakatoshi was easy. There was no need for all the overthinking of whether your actions would annoy him or not; or drive him away from you. If he had qualms about how you were acting, he wouldn’t bother with beating around the bush and instead tell you very directly, though gently as well. In the beginning, it was much easier to be quiet around him than to speak; the theme of your relationship would simply be ‘comfortable silence’.

He eventually became more relaxed around you with time, sometimes even voicing his worries and slight frustrations after practice while helping you clean up. Wakatoshi greatly appreciated how you were always ready to listen to him, despite the tremble in your muscles and dark eye bags from fatigue. You even joined him on his morning runs sometimes despite the fact you could only survive a small leg of it, turning back towards the campus when not even a fifth of his distance in. With advice from Satori, he had asked for more details about your day and your life in general, his brain filling in the gaps of the mental picture he had of you.

What once was a mere outline, roughly penciled-in of nothing more than your physique, the more he learned, the more colors he painted in. To him, you were shades of navy and gray with dashes of gold, emerald, midnight black, magenta, and rouge. The final picture was nothing close to artistic, but it lent to his understanding of your overall personality: unwillingly scattered, pained, anxious, yet determined and compassionate to a fault.

Procrastination was your best friend, you had told him one evening on a newly established weekly stroll, especially when it came to large assignments. You weren’t an organized planner – instead, you would let ideas stew and boil in your head, only mental images of the process and final result there until you couldn’t wait any longer to pen it down. Then you would pull nights of just three to five hours of sleep, running on caffeine and pure drive. What was even more frustrating was that you would find trouble for yourself, avoiding assignments by coming up with new unrelated projects that most definitely did not need to be on your priority list.

For example, if you had a presentation due in a week to discuss the 5 main themes of Great Expectations in front of your class, you’d first let all scenarios of it play out in your head. Then when it became too much, you’d go off and do something for the volleyball club that wasn’t on top of the agenda or complete a question set for the Math Olympiads club you were in as well. Considering those were more positive, productive digressions, other times you would pick up another book to read and feel the need to finish, download a new game on your phone, or scour the internet for cooking videos on the best ways to make hayashi rice.

What amazed (and somewhat alarmed) Wakatoshi was that you would pull it all together in the end. Not only were you balancing academics and extracurriculars, you were bearing the weight of your friends’ worries and stress on your shoulders with the biggest smile you could muster, casting aside most of your well-being to make room for theirs, as well as this relationship with him. Projects were still completed, assignments still mostly unflawed turned in, management of their team still in top shape, and being almost a perfect partner suited for his taste. All were held in stride, even if it was obvious to him that after major assignments were completed, you were either smiling less, saying fewer words, or stuck in your head more often. And he knew, as you had expressed one time out of exhaustion and beaten defenses, you were worried that you still weren’t good enough.

So the cycle continued. In waves and a whirlpool, Wakatoshi watched you unravel and tighten, unravel and tighten, unravel and tighten, desperate to prove that you had a place in this academy just as much as anyone else. Time and time again, you had voiced your worries and doubt, and every time, he assured you that yes, you were worthy of your place here. You knew the boy never lied to comfort others, and he knew that you knew this. He began to grow displeased with your mental reservations, finally determining one March evening of your second year that he could no longer continue this relationship with you.

Satori, of course, had protested vehemently. (“You can’t just break up with her like that, it’s cruel!”). Wakatoshi failed to understand the social implications, ignoring the advice from his friend as he prepared for the routine, weekly stroll with you. When he slipped his sneakers on, his muscles remembered to grab his spare jacket as you were prone to feel chilly on these nights. It wasn’t until the end of the stroll when your nose was slightly tinged red at the tip and your figure engulfed in his jacket, did he hesitate at the intersection between the boys’ and girls’ dorms, and Wakatoshi being the blunt human he is, voiced his thoughts.

“I think it would be good to end this relationship,” he stated with no warning, yet felt a twinge of guilt when your face fell and froze into a subtle state of shock. He let you process his words, patiently waiting for your response.

Inhale. Exhale. Deep breaths. But not too deep. Don’t freak him out. How do you stop freaking yourself out? Oxygen. Lungs.

Inhale. Exhale.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, training your eyes to look straight into his right shoulder, tracing the logo of the ICS foot. Hell knows you’re not tall enough to see past it. “Have I been asking for too much of your time?”

“No.”

“…Have I been too clingy?”

“No.”

“Then…what’s the reason?” You shakily asked, tears of confusion beginning to prick at the corners of your eyes.

“…you’ve spread yourself too thin.”

This time, it was only appropriate to look at him straight on. As always, there was no hesitation evident in them, his direct truth bleeding through his retinas. It must have been words that he had decided on long ago to describe your mental state.

“Please elaborate,” you softly demanded, subconsciously hugging your arms at the biceps.

“You’re doing too much. You think you can do it all, but you’re simply unable to. It’s okay, but I think this relationship is one more thing on your plate that you don’t need.”

But you heard it. You branded the image of his words in your brain and read between the lines, running on overdrive as the darkness rapidly ate at you. It was easy for the demons to sneak in with dubious tones, repeating the phrase that you had been fighting so hard to keep buried inside—

You’re not good enough.

Perhaps you had become a burden to Wakatoshi. You had turned into the thorn in his side, something he no longer wanted to tolerate and keep in his life. Perhaps it was expected, you bitterly thought while shrugging off his jacket. The bite of the cold night teethed and gnawed at your skin, but the pain was almost welcomed now. He took the fabric without a word, only feeling slightly guilty at the sight of stray tears gradually streaking down your cheeks.

“Okay,” you sniffled, arms wrapped around yourself again for some vague sense of protection. “That’s fine, I get it. You have Nationals and the Youth team as well – it’s mainly best for you to end this.”

“(Y/n) –”

“It’s really okay, Wakatoshi. I appreciate you being straightforward with me. I’ll see you at practice,” you quickly interjected and turned to trek back towards the dorm, sending a quick but lifeless wave behind you. The shards of whatever was left of your soul trailed behind you like scattered stars on the concrete. Even when your roommate and friend brought your disheveled figure into her arms, they did little to ward off the parasitic spectres in your mind.

You spent most of that night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep despite the exhaustion weighing down on your eyelids. Your thoughts refused to cease for just one second in its brutal beatdown on your heart, having played back every moment you possibly messed up on from the day Wakatoshi accepted your feelings to the time of separation. The questions began to plague the blood in your veins, your heart thrashing erratically and causing a cold sweat to break over your skin. Gentle, warning waves of nausea churned through your stomach as the anxiety effectuated into its more menacing, ghastly manifestation. You felt your breaths quicken out of panic and screwed your eyes shut – what did you do cope before? What could ground you behind the rails before you fell over the edge and into the folds of a dark ocean?

Deep breaths. Count. Breathe. Exhale. Start from 100.

Inhale.

Count.

Exhale.

Repeat.

You fell asleep before you hit 20.

You stayed on as the manager despite every ounce of your heart demanding you to quit and run, pettily attempting to prove Ushijima wrong. Satori directed empathetic glances your way multiple times for a few days, but you never wavered. There was no time to feel sorry for yourself or accept pity from others, especially as Nationals was right around the corner. Getting away from campus excited you and as much as the trip was about volleyball, the boys looked forward to spending a few days in the capital.

But the championship fell short, and soon, the third year began.

Your roommate was understandably concerned. On top of more rigorous classes and upcoming college entrance exams, you balanced your manager position, math club, an online job tutoring English, and yearbook duties. It was an absolute miracle that you found enough hours in the day to be on top of everything, and you were proud. This not only meant that you didn’t just peak in middle school, but it also meant that you could do all these things and still turn out great. At the end of the day, a sense of pride overwhelmed you more than anything – this had to be your way of defeating your anxieties: occupy yourself until there was no time to think about them.

The months rolled by. Your cycle continued. Shiratorizawa fell to their knees in front of Karasuno. You got into The University of Tokyo. Graduation proceeded without a hitch.

To your naïve, broken soul, the stars seemed to have aligned and the puzzle pieces were fitting. But to those around you, they could only watch as you fell deeper into the massive hole you dug on your own, dirt smudged on your cheeks and hands blistered from the wooden handle of the shovel. You were going to snap again one day, and it would be more painful than the first.

University soon gave you an adequate understanding of what exactly your personality had unfortunately become: self-destructive. At the time, you had only thought it appropriate to disregard your own health for those you loved (and there were quite a few of them) while balancing academics. That fault was one you had long come to terms with: that you gave away too much of yourself. Someone needed to rant at 1AM? Your phone ringer was always on at full volume (unless you were, of course, in class). Someone needed a ride to the airport? You were there, jokingly asking them to bring you back a snack from their travels as thanks. Someone needed to crash at your place for a day or two to get away from a shitty ex? Extra blankets and sheets, as well as an air mattress from home, were all prepared in the cupboard at your apartment.

As demanding as Shiratorizawa was, Todai stressed you out on another level, especially with your business major and computer science minor. On several occasions, Ushijima’s words had rung loud and clear, echoing in the chambers of your mind. “You’ve spread yourself too thin,” his baritone voice plagued you at the most inopportune times of the day (read: when you were attempting to balance, again, too many things).

And as much as you enjoyed the companionships of your friends, both old and new, you began to achingly yearn for a more intimate relationship that would allow you to collapse into comforting arms, especially on days that endlessly dragged you on your feet. The fact that it was only freshman year made your head spin, but nothing could truly deter you from your deepest desires.

You should have realized that this would only result in isolation with nothing but wooden walls, a balcony, and a shattered heart to keep you company.

7 years ago

“I agree,” Sayuri, a senior and close friend from the art department, affirmed when you expressed this romantic aspiration to her over ramen at a nearby izakaya one September night of your sophomore year. “Everyone’s so obsessed with their careers these days, you included,” she jabbed and pointed stained bamboo chopsticks at you, causing your shoulders to flinch and hunch back in some shame. “Buy some alcohol, give yourself some free nights. The only times I see you doing something not related to school is when I drag you out on weekend shoots with me.”

Sayuri was an expressive girl who took the world in stride and captured the streets of Tokyo with her camera like no other. The two of you had met in an interest organization meeting, instantly bonding over similar pastimes and your two personalities just clicked. She somehow embodied everything you weren’t, and you deeply loved her. More often than not, Sayuri was the one to keep you from completely losing yourself, absolutely refusing to let you become a mindless soul stuck in a business suit and wedged between the crowds in a subway, needlessly calculating away to gain more greed and wealth. “You’re too good for that,” she once told you when you had unexpectedly showed up at her door, drenched from the rain and your own tears caused by a string of unfortunate events.

(“You’re at your best when you’re a little more free, a little more relaxed, you know?”)

“But your weekend shoots are fun!”

“Which is exactly why you should do more other fun stuff!” Sayuri exclaimed before she took a sip from her bottle of ramune. “You know what? Tonight. We’re gonna download Tinder and tapple. You’re a hot commodity, and there’s gotta be some decent guy who’s down for a few casual dates. Hell, you might even have a better chance at finding another girl who can treat you right.”

“You’re not wrong,” you sighed. “Some men can be such pigs sometimes.”

“A-fucking-men.”

Sayuri rarely ever went back on her word, and much to your chagrin, you found yourself curled up next to her on her cream faux-leather couch. Her arm slung over your shoulders as she helped you pick out your best photos, including a shot she had taken of you when she begged you to be her subject on one of her shoots. “My professor needs me to practice portrait shots, please please please help me out here?” She had implored a couple weeks ago, and because you could never say no, you had grumbled your agreement before putting on a nicer outfit and some light makeup. You weren’t going to lie – those were some of the best pictures of you by far, and made you look much more attractive than you ever thought or felt.

A bio was set, photos strategically ordered, and you were tossed into the world of online dating.

“This is a really bad idea,” you groaned ten minutes later as Sayuri swiped through the profiles showing up in your pool. “I haven’t even slept with anyone before.”

“Oh honey, I bet half of these men only ever got their dick wet once and came in two minutes flat. They think they’re impressing someone but they’re only fooling themselves,” Sayuri scoffed and then grimaced at a man’s daringly shirtless mirror selfie. “This poor guy needs to eat more; I can see his ribcage! You don’t need someone who doesn’t appreciate food.”

“What if he’s got an eating disorder?” You seriously speculated, heart going out to the possibility of that.

“Well now you make me feel bad after swiping left on him and – oh hey! You got a match!”

“What? Who the hell did you swipe right on?!” You screeched; chin craned to get a good look at the person on your phone.

“Calm down, you don’t need to worry! I have impeccable taste in men! Hey, don’t give me that look,” she cried out when she saw the questioning raise of one of your eyebrows. “Look, he was cute, had a safe bio, and he goes to Tokyo Tech! So he’s a smartypants like you! Guy must’ve been swiping around too for there to be a match this early.”

“So he’s just desperate and I got swiped right on for passing his minimum standards? Am I supposed to feel like I should be given an award?” You scowled.

“Just wait for him to message first. Keep it light and breezy, we’ll see if he’s suspicious later,” Sayuri waved off, continuing with her search for your perfect, laid-back date.

“But seriously, I’m worried some guy is gonna start expecting sex from me,” you huffed, leaning back to lay your head on her shoulder. Instinctively, she rested her own on top of yours.

“You’re really worried, huh?”

“Makes me a little anxious, yeah,” you admitted, fingers fiddling with a stray thread on the sleeve of your old Shiratorizawa jacket.

“Tell me about it.”

“Well...I’m not waiting until marriage or anything. I’m not putting my virginity on a pedestal or anything, I just kinda want to get it over with, you know? I know your first time probably isn’t all flowers and rainbows, but I figured that I’d at least want to lose it to someone I trust.”

“So you’ve thought about this quite a bit then?”

“Have for a while, if I’m honest.”

“Name them.”

“But—”

“Names, (y/n). I gotta make sure they’re good enough for you.”

“They’re decent, I promise. I mean, I just know they’d never hurt me or throw me to the curb after it happens.”

“You do realize that’s the bare minimum, right?”

“Do you want names or not?”

“Okay okay, go.”

You exhaled as blood rushed to your cheeks. To say their names out loud made it much more embarrassing, especially since there was a high chance they never thought about you sexually before.

“Semi Eita, Daichi Sawamura, and…Ushijima Wakatoshi,” you mumbled the last name, knowing Sayuri’s less-than-positive feelings for the guy. She knew the entire history of your relationship with him, not that it involved a whole ton, but she was just overly protective of you.

“Ushijima Wakatoshi?? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Did you not hear the other two?” You squealed, swatting her with a sleeve that you had retracted your arm into.

“Okay, fine, but tell me about them.”

“Promise not to laugh?”

“Can’t.”

“Ugh, okay look. Eita is...he’s a nice guy. He seems a little rough around the edges, but he was always soft with me. Never gave me a hard time until he got replaced with another starting setter our third year, but he knew it was for the better of the team, as much as he didn’t like it. And even though his competitive streak got the best of him sometimes, he just...I don’t know. He’s dependable in his own way, stuck with me after the break-up and would check in on me from time to time. We still keep in touch a little.”

“Find me a picture of him, then tell me about the other guy.”

“Sure,” you agreed, tapping and swiping through your phone, mainly scrolling through years and years of photos you had kept. “Daichi-san is...well, he’s like if Wakatoshi was more emotionally available.”

“(Y/n), anyone is more emotionally available than Ushijima.”

“He softened up towards the end of our third year, okay? Cut him some slack, please. Anyways,” you cut Sayuri off. “I met Daichi-san our third year briefly during the Spring Qualifiers for Nationals. Extremely nice guy, mature, seemed pretty dependable being the captain of a team with some rowdy underclassmen at the time,” you lightly laughed at the memories.

“You’re really into the dependable type, aren’t you? Reliable? Takes care of you? Can relieve your stress at the end of a long day? Do you have a da—” Sayuri insinuated suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows until you finally interrupted her.

“Hey, there’s no kink-shaming in this friendship!”

“I’m just teasing, babe. Go on about Mr. Dependable” she giggled, causing you to roll your eyes as you continued.

“I saw him a bit more when I picked up a part-time job at a local convenience store for a couple months, only because I quit my online tutoring job. It was just before graduation, but he visited a few times. Seemed like it was closer to his house than the one he usually stopped at by his school. It was never busy, and he’d stick around to chat.”

“Oh my god, he was into you!”

“What? No! Like I said, he’s honestly just really, really nice. Did you know he’d buy his teammates buns every once in a while?”

“Oh, for the love of God, you had a crush on him, too!”

“Fine, just a tiny one!” You quickly admitted while batting away Sayuri’s excitable swats on your thigh. “But I was worried he was just some rebound crush, and he was staying in Miyagi while I was preparing to move here, so it’s not like anything would’ve happened. He was funny, too, and always asked about my well-being even though he didn’t really know me. Honestly, he was too good for me,” you said quietly and seemingly deflated.

“Nobody’s ever too good for you,” Sayuri comforted and pulled you into her arms. “I don’t care how perfect they are. If anything, you’re too good for them.”

“You hype me up too much,” you smiled sadly, holding onto her intertwined limbs. “I just...he didn’t deserve to get pulled into my mess. And it’s not just him – nobody deserves to. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone because I couldn’t get my shit together.”

“...even if you get hurt yourself?” Sayuri murmured.

Your silent, solemn answer spoke volumes. Life had turned you into somewhat of a martyr, someone absolutely terrified of inconveniencing others, yet relentless in your support for the important individuals around you.

“One day,” Sayuri started gently. “You’re gonna find a guy who loves and cherishes you to no end. You’re gonna get a taste of the love that you give to others, and he’ll never let you go. He’ll stick with you through everything, and you’ll realize that you do deserve that kind of love. It’s inevitable, really only a matter of time. And maybe he’ll show up when you least expect it. Just don’t give up yet, okay?”

“...okay,” you mumbled, tightening your grip momentarily as a tacit gesture of gratitude. “Sayuri, if we’re 30, single, and same-sex marriage gets legalized in Japan, can we get married?”

“Sweetie, we don’t have to do it in Japan, might as well just move to the U.S. and get married there. So yeah, sounds like a plan,” Sayuri agreed, half-joking.

And she knew you meant it, too.

6.5 years ago

You (jokingly) blamed Sayuri completely for anything that happened on Tinder afterwards.

Many casual conversations turned fruitless, never getting to the level of comfort that you felt you wanted to meet someone face-to-face. The search became more of a pastime than anything, and it became the same old, boring procedure. Reintroducing yourself and your interests for what seemed like the twentieth time existed like an unwanted pill you had to swallow every day, a habit done with a sense of boredom and banality. Sayuri called you picky, and perhaps you were looking too much into it. But you were allowed to have standards, right?

About half a year after your first night with Tinder, you found a person that you felt somewhat okay with. Ito Tsugumi was a junior at the Tokyo Medical and Dental University living in the undergraduate campus. He seemed respectable, understanding, and never made fun of your own interests and likes. The guy completely understood that this was casual, but he still wanted to meet you at least once, take you out for coffee or something and see where it goes from there. And that was perfectly fine with you.

March weather meant it was still pretty chilly in Japan and living by the ocean didn’t exactly help. You were glad that this was just a coffee date, because not only did it mean you could indulge in a nice cup of hot chocolate, but you also didn’t have to worry too much about how nice you looked because all of that could be sacrificed in the name of warmth. If Tsugumi was going to judge you based on your outfit designed for comfort, he wouldn’t be worth your time anyways.

Anxiety coaxed you into arriving at the designated café ten minutes early, shakily paying with your card and almost dropping it en route to the cashier’s hands. You spotted an empty two-seater along the back wall, but not right by the glass window where the frost would most likely creep through. Positioned in a seat so you’d have a decent view of the entrance, you sent a frantic text to Sayuri for moral support because your nerves were absolutely frying at the moment, to which she sent you a Sailor Moon GIF of Usagi throttling Minako before a message that read, “you’re a cute piece of ass and he knows it. flaunt it babe!” Rouge flooded your cheeks out of the embarrassment that was now mixing with the butterflies in your stomach, and luckily you fought it down when the door rang open.

If you had to be honest, Tsugumi looked more handsome in person than in his pictures, and that screamed danger to you. He only had to look around the café once before spotting you and quickly made his way to your table with a smile. While part of you had registered it as a bit of a Cheshire grin, you immediately dismissed it as a product of your paranoia. This was just a meeting with something warm to drink, right? There was no rule stating that a relationship had to come out of this. If he ever gave off a warning sign, all you had to do was run and never speak to him again. Easy.

You stood from your seat, almost entirely putting your weight on the table when your legs momentarily refused to cooperate with you. The grin on his face held firm as you bowed to each other in greeting and you couldn’t help but have a small one of your own. Were you flattered that he arrived five minutes ahead of the original meeting time? Perhaps just a little, but maybe you were sweating the small details too much.

“Have you already ordered? I can get us something,” he offered. Just as you were about to let him know that you already bought a drink, one of the baristas showed up with a large mug of hot chocolate and set it down with a table napkin. You quickly bowed and thanked them before turning back to Tsugumi sheepishly, gesturing awkwardly towards the white porcelain cup.

“It’s really nice of you to offer though,” you tried to appease. “We’re all broke university students anyways, I wasn’t going to make you buy me a drink.”

“I would’ve been more than happy to,” he replied warmly, a sense of adoration in his eyes that seemed far too intimate for just a first meeting. Nevertheless, his gaze made you avert your own to trace the swirls in your drink. “I’ll be right back,” he continued before leaving to order. Good, this gave you a few necessary moments to gather your bearings.

You needed to calm the fuck down. This wasn’t your first rodeo, though Sayuri would vehemently disagree. “Weekly walks around your high school campus don’t count as dates, (y/n),” she quipped in the past, giving up when you, for the thousandth time, defended Wakatoshi and his actions. And you had been very attracted to him as well, so what was so nerve-wracking about this now? Your relationship with Wakatoshi had held far more implications if things ever ended badly, with the same social circles and everything. Ito Tsugumi was merely a dot outside of most of your realms and possessed very little power over the important things in your life. Your focus needed to be on something else for the time-being, like the smell of ground beans with sweet traces of freshly baked pastries, or the faint coffeehouse music playing through the speakers, or the pots of devil’s ivy hanging from the ceiling. Just anything besides wondering if you had stray hairs out of place, or if your makeup wasn’t blended correctly, if your nails looked asymmetrical—

You had put on your best “I’m doing great!” face once Tsugumi was returning to his seat opposite of you. At first, nothing was said and the both of you could only laugh at the awkward shift in air. But when you spotted a faint shade of scarlet on his cheeks, you felt that you could let out a breath of relief because perhaps, you weren’t the only one feeling a little nervous.

Tsugumi was a wonderful conversationalist and an appreciator of comfortable silence. He seemed just as nice as he was in his messages, and when you went on occasional ramblings of something you felt passionate about, he listened attentively and always asked the right questions at the appropriate times. Even when you profusely apologized for talking too much the first time, he only gave you a blinding smile with his head tilted cutely before saying, “It’s okay, I like listening to you talk.”

And your heart was nearly set aflame.

Two hours easily passed the both of you by, with you discovering much more about him: He wanted to be a dermatologist, had lived in Tokyo his whole life, doted excessively on his mother who owned a little bakery near his house, had a good bond with his older brother who was working to be a pilot, was aware of the fact that he came off as a douchebag sometimes, admitted to some said stereotypical douchebag behaviors, and owned a cute little bobtail cat named Renji. Tsugumi eagerly asked for another chance to meet with you, promising that he would buy your drink no matter what. Is it allowed that someone even dares to match your view of perfection? Is he flying too close to the burning star?

You learned a few weeks later that you should have never given him the chance.

And what was absolutely infuriating was that you should’ve noticed it sooner. The sun he was reaching so highly for was not to become the perfectly flawed man, but attempting to attain something out of greed and selfish desires. He was abandoning any apathy for the people he drew into his sticky web as long as they helped him build his wings, and you fell for it.

(“I like you a lot, you know? You’re probably one of the nicest girls I’ve ever met.”

“With your history of partners, that’s not possible,” you laughed softly. “You probably met way more nicer girls, just never got the time to get to know them.”

“I’m serious, though. I think I’m pretty lucky meeting you.”

“…thank you.” But you couldn’t bring yourself to believe him.)

With Ushijima, perhaps you had jumped in too quickly; so with Tsugumi, you made sure to maintain a healthy distance at all times. You were determined to take this slow and learn from your previous mistakes, and while that could have saved you a whole world of hurt, it wasn’t enough. Tsugumi wove you into his life by joining you on study dates, always doing his best to meet you at your university library instead of his, bringing you small snacks you had mentioned liking once or twice, calling you frequently when you were both free to check up on you and ask how your day was, and even dragging you along to meet his mother at her bakery. By that time, only three weeks had passed, and you had become (rightfully) concerned.

The gentle chime of the bell on the bakery doors had quietly alerted the matriarch of the Ito family of a customer’s arrival, and though her face had visibly brightened at the presence of her younger son, hesitation quickly crossed her eyes as they landed on you and the intertwined hands. Minute facial reactions could speak volumes, so you took that glance to heart as something to healthily ponder over, knowing that there must be some reason for it. His mother was nothing but polite, even gifting you an almond croissant when Tsugumi mentioned it was one of your favorite pastries. You desperately tried to pay, almost embarrassed that you were given something for free, but she wouldn’t have it and Tsugumi had to drag you out before you snuck too much change into the tip jar. But after you had bowed and had begun to wave goodbye, another emotion formed on her face and nearly caused you to stumble.

(Minutes later, you had placed it as pity.)

It all came to sense when Sayuri frantically called you the next night, strumming up every possible curse against “stupid, greedy swine in the form of men”, Tsugumi’s name laced between the syllables slipping off her tongue. You had immediately shut your notebook closed, trying to calm her down, “Hey, whoa, slow down Sayuri, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Holy fuck, (y/n), he’s got a fucking girlfriend!”

Three things crossed your brain then. 1) You were glad that you had maintained the walls around your heart, 2) Tsugumi was cheating on his girlfriend, and 3) you were unexpectedly not surprised that something like this had come up. Your dating life had started with a streak of bad luck, and you were pretty convinced that it would strike again, no matter what.

But that hadn’t stopped you from feeling your heart drop to your feet, simultaneously also feeling the breath get knocked out from your chest. Completely speechless, you spent a few seconds processing Sayuri’s words and quickly after, the anger began to simmer through your veins. In fact, you weren’t exactly angry that he had strung you along (due to your guarded, paranoid detachment) – you were more furious at the fact that he was probably cheating on some lovely girl, and even if she wasn’t lovely, nobody deserved to be cheated on. Not even a snake like Tsugumi.

You sighed. “Well, how’d you find out?”

“You said the fucker didn’t have social media? Well I decided to snoop because who doesn’t have social media these days—” “Plenty of people don’t, Sayuri.” “Well, with his looks and his past – again, it’s not a problem that he’s slept around, he can do whatever the hell he wants for all I care AND as long as he doesn’t have double standards – but I figured there had to be something out there. I found an old Twitter account, then found what I thought was his ex-girlfriend’s account but it’s actually his girlfriend’s account, and it turns out, he’s got a newer Twitter account he actually keeps up with. He thinks he might be slick, but the idiot didn’t even put his profile on private.”

You held the phone between your shoulder and ear as Sayuri spelled out the girlfriend’s Twitter handle to you, your fingers simultaneously typing it into your web browser. Another handle is listed in her cutesy bio, saying that she belonged to the owner of this other profile, and when you open it in another tab, Tsugumi’s face stares straight back at you. Sayuri was right – he had done a pretty shit job at hiding this. A cursory look through his tweets and hers, everything you needed to know was there.

She was a first year at a university in Kyoto who spoke highly of Tsugumi, tweeting photos of them two and tagging him quite often, and her friends all supported their relationship. It made you feel sick to your stomach that you had been spending time with a cheater, one who was throwing away a three-year relationship.

“Are you okay, (y/n)?” Sayuri asked through the speaker. You didn’t realize that you had been quiet for the last few minutes, so wrapped up in your thoughts.

“I need to talk to him,” you said quietly as your heart began to race. Confrontations were not your forte, no matter how much your business classes tried to prepare you to be a stronger speaker. It should be easy, like ripping off a Band-aid, yet the idea of calling Tsugumi up and telling him that you had to stop seeing each other wracked your nerves like an earthquake.

“Easy. Call him and tell him to go fuck himself, then hang up and block his number. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time.”

“I know, but…you know I’m not good at this kind of stuff. And I’ve never had to have this conversation with anyone before…”

“(Y/n). You used to manage a whole team of teenage athletes, and I know there were a ton of times when you had to put your foot down and get them in line. Treat this snake like one of them, get it through his head that he should burn in hell—” “Sayuri!” “—and then avoid him for the rest of your life.”

You sighed again and massaged your temples. That’s right, you could be firm, and with Tsugumi who you hadn’t been that close to, it should be easy to just let him know that the act was up. Yeah, you could do this.

“Do you want to keep me on the call?” Sayuri asked, her anger finally simmering down.

“No, it’s okay, I can handle this. But thank you though.”

“Yeah of course,” she replied softly, compassionately. “Are you okay though?”

“Well…maybe it hasn’t fully hit me yet, but it’s frustrating.”

“You can be angry, you know.”

“I’m not angry, I just…” you hesitated, searching for the right words to better describe your feelings. But without control, your throat began to close and choke, salty tears clouding your vision. You desperately tried to hold back the first sob with a hand over your mouth, panic striking your heart at the sudden rush of despair, but Sayuri quickly caught on.

“(Y/n)...” Sayuri cooed, her tone sympathetic and soft.

“No, if—if I’m angry,” you hiccupped, wiping your spilled tears away messily. “That means I cared, even though I told myself I shouldn’t have,” your voice cracked and heaved another sob as your heart took the final twist of the knife. Everything that you had tried doing to prevent the painful effects of possible disappointment were coming to crash down on you, and all for nothing. Sayuri held silent and let you cry out your anguish – she knew better than anyone that you just needed these moments of catharsis, to let all your emotions out before you would try to think logically again.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot,” you blubbered after a couple of minutes, standing to retrieve a tissue from the kitchen.

“You’re not, really. You give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see the best in them. Usually that’s not bad, but…an asshole decided to come along and take advantage of it. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

“I’ll try but…fuck, it’s so embarrassing to think about it now. All the signs were probably there, right? And I just believed everything he told me,” you sniffled, setting your phone down with the speaker on as you blew your nose.

“I’ll be there in the next hour or so,” she stated resolutely, and you could hear her moving around her apartment.

“Sayuri, you don’t—”

“Don’t be silly, (y/n). It’s not a good time to be alone now, okay? You want me to pick anything up from that convenience store by the station?”

You had let out another mucus-y sniffle, eyes roaming over the cabinet door of where your snacks were. “…can you see if they’ve got a bag of that flower plum candy I like? If not, a bag of nori-shio chips, please.”

“Of course. Hang in there, okay? Don’t call or text him until I’m there.”

“Got it. Thank you so much.”

“You don’t need to thank me, (y/n). And look…,” Sayuri trailed off and your ears caught onto her shutting and locking a door. “It’s okay to ask for help, you know? Especially if it’s me, so don’t forget that.”

“But—”

“I know you’d do the same thing for me, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then there’s no problem. I’ll be there as soon as possible, will keep you updated. Love you!”

“Love you too, Sayuri. Be safe.”

Click.

Two hours later, with an opened bag of candy in the cabinet and an empty bag of chips in the trash can, sleep came to you and Sayuri in your bed, and you had never felt luckier.

Based on Tsugumi’s calling habits, you weren’t surprised that your phone rang on the dining table sometime around 10AM, the screen lit up with a picture you had taken of him at the library on one of your study dates. It amazed you for a second how easily your emotions could be flipped around, that this specific set of colored pixels had once brought you a tiny amount of fondness and only now twisted your face in extreme discomfort. Last night, you and Sayuri had run through all possible scenarios of why Tsugumi decided two-timing was something to engage in, including his possible thought process behind getting you involved in his life so quickly. At the end of it, two things were 99% certain: you were going to let him explain, and you were not going to give him a second chance.

“It’s like ripping off the Band-aid,” Sara had echoed your previous analogy when talking about your worries and hesitations in the confrontation again last night. “The quicker you get it over with, the better.”

“But it’s the ripping-off that’s the worst part, not what comes after. Tsugumi isn’t one to give candid, quick explanations either. He’ll probably try to get me to forgive him, which only prolongs the inevitable. So it’s…a slow rip, not the kind where you can bite your tongue and yank it off as fast as you can – and it’s more painful that way, too.”

“You’ve got a point,” Sayuri had huffed. “If anything, I’ll be here for moral support.”

She casted you a quick look over her shoulders from the sink where she graciously offered to wash the dishes from breakfast, and your pursed lips gave the tacit confirmation that it was none other than Tsugumi on the phone. One quick sigh later, you swiped the green pick-up button, activated the speaker, and answered, “Hello?”

“G’morning, (y/n)! How are you? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you replied softly, wanting to stay calm and collected. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I was just a little worried since you said you were tired so early last night. It’s not like you to sleep before 11PM. Did anything happen?”

You discretely scoffed to yourself, hoping that Tsugumi hadn’t caught it. Sayuri rolled her eyes in such a dramatic fashion that you almost burst out laughing.

“Nothing much, I just had a really long day and felt kinda tired.”

“Well, I feel better now hearing that you’re okay. I’m glad you weren’t sick or anything. Did you get a good sleep last night then?”

“It was good, yeah.” But no thanks to you.

“Well, if you’re up for it, you wanna go out today? It’s the weekend and I have some free time before I need to start studying for our next round of exams. Did you want to check out that bookstore on the other side of the city? Or the Ghibli museum over in Mitaka?

“Ito-san, can you do something for me?”

“…sure, what is it?”

You quickly took a deep breath. This was it; this was the start of the discerption.

“Can you tell me why you’re cheating on your girlfriend of three years who clearly has no idea of what you’re up to?”

The chilling silence that resonated throughout the apartment sent shivers down your spine. Sayuri had long finished up washing and drying, and the only sound that was registering was the chirping of birds outside your window. Even then, it was faint at best, and you briefly wondered if Tsugumi had just hung up on you. But an electric rustle and a static sigh convinced you otherwise, and Sayuri’s expression morphed into one that simply signaled, “Get ready for the bullshit.”

“…so you found out then?”

“You didn’t exactly try very hard to hide it,” you quipped while crossing your arms.

“I know, I just…when did you find out? And how?”

“Last night, and how doesn’t matter.”

“But—”

“Why are you doing this? I know social media usually isn’t much to base personality on, but she seems pretty nice and definitely doesn’t deserve to have a boyfriend who’s been sleeping with other girls for the majority of the last eighteen months.”

“You don’t know anything!” He quickly defended himself, but not elaborating any further. “It’s just really complicated…and she’s not what she seems.”

“Okay, so let’s say she isn’t. If it’s been so bad dating her…why haven’t you broken up?”

“We never…got around to it, I guess?” His voice came out sheepish. At least the guy felt some shame in his actions.

“You’re ridiculous. Did you really think you were going to get away with this forever? Like what if I hadn’t found out?” You almost seemed desperate to know the workings of his conscience, simply because no matter what his explanation was, it would most definitely confound you. Were you being too simple-minded?

“I swear I was going to break up with her! I really wanted to – you made me want to finally talk to her and just end things –” This time, you made sure Tsugumi heard your scoff of disbelief. “—and I promise, it was going to end eventually, and I was going to seriously ask you out. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m serious.”

“Ito-san…if you did break up with her, would you have told me about it later on?”

“…no, I wouldn’t have.”

At the end of the day, his honest and unfortunate answer resolved all your doubts.

“I figured as much. At least you were honest with me about it and didn’t bother lying to say you would have.”

“I’m really sorry, I really didn’t mean to hurt you this much. You’re such a nice girl, (y/n), seriously. I’m so sorry and I don’t…deserve a second chance, but could we still be friends?”

“You didn’t hurt me,” you snapped at him. “I was more worried about how much you’re hurting your girlfriend.”

“…oh.”

“Yeah, and while you probably caught on that my self-esteem isn’t exactly the highest, I know that I don’t deserve to be lied to and strung along for the ride or for whatever game you’re playing yourself against.”

“That wasn’t what I—”

“You know what? Fuck being your friend, too,” you bit out, your anger getting the best of you again. “Nobody likes being friends with liars, and I’m not about to change that for myself, much less change that for you. Maybe in like, 40 years when we’ve all moved on with our lives and you’ve become a better person, but if you’re asking to be my friend now after everything you’ve done, that’s a firm no.”

“But please—”

“You need to fix this shit. Do you realize that I met your mom? And I could see it in her eyes – she knew exactly what you were doing, right? She knew you were still dating someone else, but you wanted me to see her for some sick, twisted reason. I’m telling you; I could see it in her face, and you know what it said? She pitied me, Ito-san. I’m sure she’s a nice person, but I bet 10 to 1 that the croissant she gave me was out of guilt, because clearly, I had no idea what was happening. You can’t tell me that I’m wrong, can you?”

“Oh god,” he muttered, and you almost hadn’t heard him with the blood boiling in your ears. “Yeah, she was actually really pissed. Lectured me for a whole hour over the phone that night, told me she didn’t raise me to be a cheater and stuff.”

“Well, I’m not going to repeat it. But whatever else she probably said, I agree with her. Get your shit together, honestly. It’ll do you some good,” you stated resolutely.

“We really can’t be friends?”

“No. But…look, if you’re in some sort of really toxic relationship with this girl, you can tell me, okay?” You ignored the incredulous look on Sayuri’s face, taciturnly promising that you’ll explain yourself after the call when she starts making large X’s with her forearms and mouthing, “Hang up!!”

“I’m not saying it’s okay to be friends – I’m just saying that if you’re struggling with something and need someone to talk to, you can…talk to me. But only if I’m your last resort. I know you have other good friends, so you can’t use this as an excuse to try and get close with me again. It’s not gonna work.”

“…Mom was right, you know? You really are too good for me, too nice.”

“I don’t know about that, but maybe she’s onto something. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. Thank you, and again, I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry, (y/n). You didn’t deserve this.”

“Your apology’s accepted, but you’re not forgiven. Remember what I said: do what you can to fix it now before it all comes crashing down on you.”

“Okay. Then this is goodbye?”

“More of an extremely prolonged ‘see you later’, Ito-san. Take care of yourself.”

“You too. Bye then – I’m sorry.”

“Bye, Ito-san.”

And before the boy received another second to delay the inevitable, you somewhat aggressively tapped on the bright red hang up button. Immediately, your shoulders slumped and fell back into your seat, a breath escaping your lungs as if you had been underwater for the entire duration of the call. Your eyes focused on the chipped paint of your ceiling, vision blurring as you begin to think back on the phone call. Was there anything you could have done differently? Had you been too soft on Tsugumi by giving him permission to contact you as a last resort?

“Yes, you pulled a ludicrous move, if that’s what you’re asking yourself,” Sayuri commented, her own arms crossed in front of her chest. Sometimes, she knew you a little too well.

“I was just trying to be nice,” you half-groaned and half-whined, bending back forward to bury your head in your hands.

“Well, what’s done is done, you can’t take it back now,” Sayuri said defeatedly, coming towards you to pull you into a hug. “If he’s smart and can take a hint, he’ll stay away.”

You returned her embrace as best as you could. The Band-aid was off now, wound exposed to the open air, but you knew it would eventually heal. The only remnants of it would exist as faint memories, the pain fleeting at best.

“I think we should tell the girlfriend,” you suggested to Sayuri. Tsugumi would probably end up extremely furious with you, but not only did you owe him utterly nothing, he never said you couldn’t say anything to her either. So with Sayuri’s Twitter account, an elaborate explanation, a link to a folder on Google Drive with screenshots of your text conversations both on and off Tinder (the ones that you’d have to be in a deep state of denial to think were untrue or simply taken out of context), you completed the task that no person would ever want to accomplish in their lives. As heart-wrenching and torturous it would inevitably be, Tsugumi’s girlfriend deserved the truth and the ability to take matters into her own hands. Had your positions been switched, you would’ve liked for her to do the same.

Hours later in the living room, you made the executive decision to delete your profile and uninstall Tinder from your phone. While Tsugumi might have been an odd, terrible, slightly harrowing experience in trying to start a relationship with someone, perhaps you weren’t ready for one either. You needed to wait until you were more confident, bolder, and had things locked down in your future. For now, any efforts toward desiring and developing a serious romantic relationship would be redirected to your academics and career. That stability had to come first in advance of your emotional needs.

When you expressed this to Sayuri, she gave you a look that seemed somewhat disapproving. Instantly, you began to curl in on yourself, doubt coiling around your heart. “Do you think I’m…overreacting?”

Sayuri shook her head as a small smile graced her complexion. “I can’t dictate how you feel, and if I were in your position, I’d probably be thinking the same thing.” Her eyes softened as she drew up her knees to her chest. “But you know what I said when we first started all this: I don’t want you to give up just yet. What if there’s a really great guy that comes along but you’re still trying to focus on your career? Are you gonna deny yourself and make it a missed opportunity?”

“I don’t know,” you muttered, feeling troubled now. “I guess…he’d have to really be amazing for me to even consider it, you know? But who knows, I’d probably do something reckless and end up hurting myself again.”

Sayuri could tell that your anxiety was beginning to get the best of you, the doubts and insecurity once again plaguing the blood in your veins. This conversation had to be postponed for later – because now, your recovery was of utmost importance.

“You know what you need now that you’ve sworn off men for the next few years?” Sayuri started, her tone unexpectedly filled with mirth and suggestive insinuations. The Cheshire grin spelled trouble to you, and you were becoming afraid at what the answer was. Shakily, you humored her, “What would that be?”

Sayuri denied you an immediate answer as she abruptly bounced up from the floor, scuttling off to your room before returning with your laptop. Her fingers quickly pried it open, excitement rolling off her in bright ripples as she gestured for you to type in your password. As soon as you unlocked the device, she snatched it away and took over the keyboard. You warily eyed the screen as she pulled up an incognito window and typed in the website to Amazon.

“What are you doing??”

“Okay, (y/n), tell me. Do you know why sex toys were invented?”

Immediately, you wanted to melt into the ground. Not out of embarrassment per say, as you’ve had open conversations about sex and related topics with Sayuri multiple times, but if you were going to be truthful, this definitely wasn’t the first time she was trying to get you to buy a sex toy or two for yourself. There was no way you made it almost twenty-one years of life without having masturbated before, and you were okay with just your fingers now (and occasionally, your detachable showerhead).

“They were invented because people want to feel good. Do you know how many people on this earth have dicks and can’t figure out how to use them well, but still think they’re a gift to the world? I bet the majority of them couldn’t definitively tell you where the clit is, and I bet even more still think that girls pee out of their vagina. And you know what? Everyone deserves a partner who will take the time to figure out what makes them feel good, especially those with a vagina. Best way to do that is to find out yourself and see what works for you.”

“But I’m fine with what I do now!”

“Just please trust me on this one, okay?? Get a vibrator at least, please?? If you hate it, I’ll treat you to dinner for a week!”

You waved her off. “You don’t need to do that, but you just need to promise you’ll stop trying to talk me into buying more sex toys.”

“Deal. But I really doubt that’s gonna happen,” she sang, typing in a couple of words into the search bar. “I’ll buy it this time.”

“Hey—”

“Consider it an early birthday present! If you want to pay me back so badly, buy me our next couple rounds of curry don and we’ll call it even.”

“I can’t fight you on this, can I?” You asked dejectedly, accepting defeat and waving a white flag.

“Nope!” Sayuri exclaimed, absolutely no shame whatsoever in her voice. Instead, she sounds entirely elated that you have very little say in this, but in her defense, you weren’t exactly protesting. “Here we go – and we get that sweet, sweet Prime shipping. Yes, I know what you want to say—” Sayuri interjected when you opened your mouth with an objection. “Jeff Bezos is a terrible man who’s providing a good service but should distribute his wealth better, but I’m still on that free student trial? I know I’m already going to hell, but I’ll make up for it in the next life!”

There was never a way to stop Sayuri from doing what she wanted if she had her mind set, and this just happened to be one of them. A few more clicks of the touchpad and taps of the keyboard echoed throughout your apartment before Sayuri shut your laptop closed. You didn’t need to hear her confirmation that the deed was done, given the vicarious excitement stretched across your best friend’s face.

At the end of the day, this was Sayuri’s way of trying to comfort you, reminding you that she always had your best interests at heart. Your heart brimmed to the edge with sentiment and gratitude, causing your own giddy laugh to spill from your lips.

Life seemed to resume its regular routine afterwards, as mundane as it can be for a university student. Sayuri had you tag along on her shoots again, then you would return home to finish up some assignments and get your readings done, the lingering smell of dinner wafting around in the kitchen as you scrubbed a pan clean – truly, the only thing that seemed to be missing was Tsugumi’s incessant phone calls. But you had neither the energy nor the apathy to long for them – and Sayuri was right. If he was smart, he would know better than to ever contact you again.

You hoped for all your sakes that he would learn to rewire his brain and think rationally.

Present

It takes you a few seconds to register the rapid knocks against your apartment door, the rapping of knuckles against hardwood reverberating with a sense of urgency. Part of you expected this sooner or later, but you are in no condition to face the person on the other side. The rhythm shifts as the beating of the wood begins to sound more solid, signifying that the visitor is now choosing to lightly bang their fists instead of calloused knuckles.

Please leave, you weakly scream in your mind, eyes screwing shut to combat the oncoming tears. Your figure begins to crumple even more against the rail of your balcony. You can’t see me like this, so please go.

“(Y/n), I know you’re in there,” a deep male’s voice permeates through the wood, though muffled and scratchy. “Please, let me talk to you. I’m sorry, I—” He pauses, a groan of frustration escaping his throat. Your vision refuses to refocus, bleary as you weakly take in your view of Tokyo again. Without a doubt, the man must be ruffling his hair frustratedly, distressed and discouraged.

“I shouldn’t have said that. Please let me in and apologize properly – I owe you that much.”

You owe me nothing, silly. It’s my fault.

Eyes the shade of the earth in the billboard observe you, and you wonder: if seen in person, would they have stared with pity?

It’s time to stop running away.

So with sluggish steps, you make your way to the only barrier barring you from your fate. The two deadbolts slide back and click in place, echoing louder than ever. Your hand trembles in its path to the doorknob, faintly grasping the chilling metal and turning it until the latch pulls back far enough to let the door open.

And there they were, the eyes that held the key to your undoing, that had watched you crumble and fall, that had looked after you in more ways than you could imagine, peering straight into yours. You know them well, perhaps too well, and your knees nearly buckle at their intensity. It takes every part of your being to stop yourself from slamming the door closed, to hide away and escape destiny.

It seems that irises in the shades of olive will be the banes of your existence.

4.5 years ago

It hadn’t taken you much to admit it, but Sayuri was undeniably forgiven for taking the initiative to buy you your first sex toys.

About a year and a half had passed since the whole Tsugumi fiasco without as much as a text from him. The virtual silence made it much easier for you to do as you planned: throw yourself into your academics, prepare yourself for your career, and simply focus on anything else but the gaping yearning for a romantic partner. In the time that flew by you, Sayuri secured her own boyfriend, a charming J1 league soccer player who complemented her well. And even though it was obvious how smitten they were with each other, Sayuri always made an effort to include you in their dinners and hang-outs, so much to the point that you felt a swirling mixture of embarrassment and guilt for how often you were third-wheeling them. You had classmates and other friends to hang out with occasionally, and you weren’t one to always feel the need to be with others. You could handle (and frequently chose) self-isolation to refuel on social reserves – it was abandonment that scared you most.

As per usual for many business majors, you spent a semester overseas to broaden your horizons, basing yourself out of a city in Germany and tagging along with the other exchange students around Europe. New traditions and customs were learned, museums and historical structures explored – though one thing you hadn’t expected to return with was a new portion of your brain designated for the nuances of alcohol. Something that you hadn’t meant to care for in the past now existed as a part of your business identity; you needed to know the different wine glasses, the different brands of whisky, how to choose your drink wisely, which drinks are acceptable depending on the situation. If you wanted people to take you seriously in a world that prevented women from touching the sky, you needed to pocket the things that others would normally take for granted.

Part of you believed you were a better version of your past self at Shiratorizawa – while you were busier than ever, your time management skills had improved. That wasn’t to say that procrastination was no longer your best friend; it had leveled down to just a really good friend. You still possessed many of the bad habits in picking up unnecessary projects right before big assignments were due, putting a little too much on your plate, and working yourself to the bone to get everything done on time. The slight improvement existed in the form of less time spent on them, and you embraced this small progress.

And for many months, life existed on that continuum: Sayuri, friends, family, academics, and career.

That was until you received a seemingly innocuous text from Semi Eita.

A text from Eita was not abnormal in any way – as you had mentioned to Sayuri previously, the two of you had kept in contact over the last few years and remained friends. The text that appeared on your phone on a Tuesday night caused a grin to split your face, and all thoughts of indulging in some “me-time” were instantly discarded as you read his message.

[“I’m planning on visiting Tokyo this weekend and checking out a couple of things for the band. Are you free to hang out?”]

To your surprise, you hadn’t run into many of your classmates from Shiratorizawa, not that you ever tried, perhaps. So that might’ve been on you, but somehow it was much easier to stay in touch with your volleyball boys, despite their shortcomings in reaching for Nationals. You rarely visited Miyagi, and even if you were in the area, it was during New Year’s when everyone would be with their families. Without the heart to pull them away from filial time and duties, updates on your boys came mainly from 4 different group chats and the occasional video calls. Eita asking if you were available to hang out was a chance for a breather that you didn’t realize you needed.

With the adrenaline and exhilaration pumping through your veins, you tapped a response that probably seemed too enthusiastic to be you: too many exclamation marks and too many offers.

[“you caught me at a good time!!! i have a couple of days off before i need to start on my next project. it’d be fun to show you around!! and depending on how long you plan on being here, you’re more than welcome to stay in my apt!!! i’ve got an air mattress and a futon, whichever you’d prefer!!”

“Actually, that’d be really nice. Are you sure it’s not a bother?”

“of course not, semi semi!!”

“I never should’ve told you that you saying that ridiculous nickname isn’t nearly as annoying as when Satori says it 🙃🙃. But if it really doesn’t bother you, I might take you up on that offer then. Going to and coming back from Tokyo in one day is too much, and I was starting to look at cheap inns. This way, we’d have more time to catch up and hang out.”

“honestly, stay as long as you need to!!! like i said, my whole weekend is free :). there’s a cute little place nearby that serves great tekka maki!! i’m also not too shabby at making it either.”

“My favorite food homemade? Satori would be really jealous. And probably Shibaru. I can’t wait to rub it in their faces.”

“i’ll send you the name of the station closest to me, and then i can pick you up!!! actually, just send me your itinerary when you figure it out so i can plan.”

“Once a manager, always a manager. Will do.”

“looking forward to it, semi semi!!”

“Me too.”]

Still riding the high, you keyboard-smashed a text to Sayuri, explaining what had just transpired and how excited you were to see an old friend. At first, she was just as happy for you, until she caught on to who exactly was coming to visit, and immediately sent an “OH SHIT” text, followed by a number of sexually suggestive emojis. She didn’t have to be there to know your cheeks were now thoroughly flushed – in fact, you had been trying to forget the fact that Eita was someone you were trusting your first time to have sex with, and you refused to trip yourself silly to make it possibly happen. Last you remember, Eita had dated a girl for a small period of time, but that was about a year and a half ago and there hadn’t been much word from him about it.

The next few days passed in a blur – as promised, Eita had sent you his general itinerary, and while he was a working man with a band as a side gig, train tickets from Miyagi to Tokyo weren’t exactly cheap. Knowing him, he would attempt to take opportunities to pay you back for your hospitality, and you were going to make sure that this wouldn’t happen. At least, not very often. You made a rough schedule around his own that included lots of down time, if there was somewhere he wanted to go visit himself, time for you to make meals for the both of you, one or two movie nights depending on how long he would stay, and more.

The task was almost overwhelmingly nostalgic, that instead of sitting hunched over at your desk in Tokyo, you were back home in your dorm at Shiratorizawa arranging their schedules in preparation for Nationals. This realization of yours came in the very early Thursday morning, but as you began to recall more and more of your time there, you abruptly stood from your chair and shook your head. Not long after, you burrowed yourself under the sheets, phone playing your sleep-inducing playlist on the nightstand as you desperately willed yourself to rest and retreat to the dream world for at least an hour or two.

Then Friday arrived, and before you knew it, you were standing at the designated train station, bouncing excitedly in the arrivals section. You were excessively tipping your toes to look over the others also waiting. But amongst the incoming crowd, you easily spotted Eita’s signature hair color, the familiar hue of ash blond filling you with adoration, and as soon as he was over the dividers, you couldn’t bother containing yourself and bounded over towards him. With a duffel bag slung on his shoulder, phone in hand, dark skinny jeans, a casual pale blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up[GU1] , his reflexes were quick enough to recognize the human bundle of joy sprinting towards him. Eita’s best memories of you were in your Shiratorizawa uniform, so seeing you in casual streetwear threw him for a loop at first.

The earnest beam on your face could warm the iciest of glaciers, and he easily lost against the facial muscles fighting to form into his own smile. As you deftly dodged the other people in your route to him, his arms seemed to naturally fall open in a gesture that welcomed your inevitable embrace. Eita was pretty sure you squealed before jumping onto him, but his focus had to redirect to his arms so they didn’t drop you.

“Semi Semi!” You happily cried out into his ear over the hustle and bustle, arms tight around his neck as he held you close. He gave you a brief, affectionate squeeze before setting you down, causing your arms to fall. But his hands held onto your shoulders, giving you a quick once over and making his assessment. He always had a soft spot for you back in high school, knowing that it wasn’t easy managing a team of teenage boys who were ridiculously hungry and driven for a common goal. When news got around the team that you and Ushijima had broken up, he always kept an extra eye out for you and worried that you’d continue to work yourself to the bone in university.

But the girl before him seemed different: you seemed brighter, elation and happiness rolling off your body in waves. Your face was a bit thinner than it was four years ago, but perhaps the childhood features had matured over time. Additionally, you were a bit taller, though he still could easily see over your head, and overall, you looked somewhat healthier. He hoped that you were learning to relax a little more and take some more time for yourself, again very much aware of your past self-destructive habits.

Eita said nothing and ruffled your hair playfully, a snicker leaving his lips as you pouted and moved to resolve the new half-made bird’s nest. “Come on,” he chuckled, fishing out his phone to open Snapchat. “I promised Satori a selfie of us the minute I saw you.”

“Well, we can’t have him waiting, can we?” You joked back, hiding half of your figure behind Eita’s free arm and giving your best beam over his shoulder. Eita gave his best half-smirk, half-smile, knowing that Satori would absolutely eat him alive out of jealousy. He took one and let you take a closer peek, but before he could send it with your approval, you reached over and swiped to see what filters could be used. To make it easier, Eita just handed over his phone and watched you add silly stickers, his eyes resuming his assessment of you again. But it didn’t take long until you were handing him back his phone, giggling as he took in your newly formed masterpiece and scoffed while hitting the send button.

“Come on, manager,” he sighed, slinging an arm over your shoulders as the two of you made your way to the exit doors. It took very little effort to drag you with him, not that you were complaining. “What’s the plan?”

“One second!” You exclaimed and tapped through your phone, pulling up the picture of the schedule you’ve made. “Oh, yes! Okay, how heavy is your stuff? Do you mind walking around with it?”

“It’s not much, just clothes and toiletries.”

“Perfect, I was really counting on you being a sufficient packer just like back then. We’re gonna make a detour on the way home – I need to get some groceries for dinner but there’s also this takoyaki stand near there that you just have to try! It’ll change your life, I promise.”

“Can I change my mind and say I want to go home first?” He asked jokingly, but that didn’t stop the narrowing of your eyes.

“You’re just saying that so you can throw our schedule off and make me suffer!” You accused when you spotted the devious smirk on his face, the kind he’d put up in the past sometimes when the ball landed just where he wanted it during a pinch serve. “Fuck you,” you cursed but with no malice at all, instead laughing at his antics. “I will leave you here alone right now and you’ll have to find somewhere else to stay for the night. Let’s see how well you do.”

“There’s this really powerful thing now called a cellphone, and it’s got this wonderful little app that can pull up the map of the world. Have you heard of it? It’s called Maps—”

“You’re insufferable,” you said as you shook your head and made a futile attempt to push him away from you. Eita either kept up with part of his exercise regimen or miraculously retained most of the muscle mass he gained in high school because the flesh at his waist refused to give in when you pressed firmly against it. All he had to do was tighten his arm a little bit to get you stuck against his side, and you knew you had lost for now.

“You lie, manager. Admit it, I was your favorite,” he teased.

“Have you always been this cocky? Just because you have a few people screaming your name during a gig doesn’t mean everyone wants you now,” you huffed.

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t your favorite.”

“You’re wrong – Wakatoshi was my favorite.”

“Even after the breakup?”

“No doubt,” you replied with no hesitation.

“I still think you’re lying.”

“Whatever floats your boat, Eita-kun,” you chuckled, feeling quite comfortable under the hold of his arm. “Walk faster, I need to get the good produce at the store before it’s all snatched away.”

“Hey, I’m the one accommodating your tiny steps.”

“Take that back!”

Being with Eita was easy, to say the least. Old friends could fall in line together easily, and there was little to no awkwardness during interactions. He flitted around your apartment like he’d been living there for the past few years, and very few topics were off the table for conversation. You had become more open, a little livelier, he realized. If anything, his previous assumption of your current mental state was getting confirmed over and over by the minute – you were happier, a little more relaxed than how you were during the last year of high school.

As much as Wakatoshi was a good friend, based on Satori’s slip-up of what had happened, he wished you had been let down easier. It was more than a miracle that you hadn’t run away from them, but you were more guarded, putting up nothing more than a gentle, amiable smile most days. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen you genuinely laugh at their antics during practice. Yet you were here now, sitting next to him on your couch and almost full-out cackling at some ridiculous anecdote of his about his roommate freshman year. Maybe your giddiness was amplified by the shot of sake you took just fifteen minutes ago, but that, yet again, didn’t stop him from understanding that things have changed a lot in the last four years.

He likes this current you, somewhat new and improved. More relaxed, more open, more easy-going…this was good.

“So are you still talking to that girl from a couple years ago? What was her name,” you muttered and started snapping your fingers to get the ball rolling in your alcohol-muddled brain. “Oh! Her name was—”

“—Yui?”

“Yes!” You giggled, leaning back against the couch and sipping from your third shot of sake of the night. “I remember she was cute, sad that I never got to properly meet her.”

“It’s okay,” he smiled. “Yui and I were more casual anyways. She ended up moving when she got a new job and we’d be long distance, so we broke things off.”

“When’d that happen?”

“Mmmm, about a year and a half ago?” Eita questioned himself, a little unsure of the exact timeline. “Yeah, sounds about right,” he confirmed and leaned over to the coffee table to pour himself some more sake.

“That’s been a long time then,” you sighed. “Anybody else since?”

“Nope. Things got busy afterwards with the national exams and putting the band together, so I just never really thought about it. But what about you?” Eita asked curiously – had you moved on since your break-up with Wakatoshi?

At first, you hummed to yourself, eyebrows furrowed in a manner that suggested you were struggling to find the right words. But then your face relaxed and morphed into a mix of mischief and embarrassment, small laughs spilling from your lips and he was wondering if he needed to start worrying.

“I did see a guy a couple of years ago,” you began while staring into your cup, avoiding Eita’s gaze. “You wanna know how I met him?”

“How?”

“I…okay wait, do you promise not to judge me?” You somewhat slurred and held out a pinky as a gesture for him to fulfill a promise. He nodded and linked his pinky with your own, interlocking then twisting so you two could stamp thumbs.

“Good, so the answer to your question is…yes, I met a guy. On Tinder.”

Eita wasn’t expecting that last fragmented sentence to come from you of all people and had been mid-sip during your revelation. It was a miracle that he didn’t spit out the alcohol all over your couch, but he choked and had to pound his chest a couple of times as the sake went straight for his lungs.

“Don’t judge me!” You whined, shoving him from the side as he waved off your accusation. A full pout formed on your face and you looked genuinely upset.

“I’m not judging, I swear,” Eita ensured over haggard coughs. “I just didn’t expect that – I thought you were gonna tell me you met this guy at some random place on campus.”

“Once you know the whole story, you’ll be glad he doesn’t go to my uni,” you scoffed before downing the rest of your cup. Eita watched you wince and fight the pleasant burn down your throat, preparing for the possible train wreck of a story you insinuated.

You laid it all out for him, from the very beginning to when Sayuri first got you to download the app up until the last phone call you had with Tsugumi. Eita listened attentively, grimacing, laughing, and frowning at all the right moments. He watched you struggle to verbalize the anger you had felt, the frustration from even being angry to begin with, and by the time you were done, you were exhausted. You simply stared back at him with a lazy, tipsy smile that contrasted all the defeat in your bones and attempted to hide your efforts in pretending that you had completely moved on. Eita could tell, though, that that was unfortunately not the case. The pain had lingered, and you were never going to forget…or forgive yourself.

He released a heavy sigh, placing his empty cup gently on your coffee table and grabbing yours from your fingers as well. Once both were away from the possibility of being spilt, he reached out a hand to you, wiggling his fingers as a tacit gesture for you to grab them. Whether your fingers had trembled from the excess resentment or some personal effect from the sake, the second your fingers interlocked, your eyes began to water. At this sight, Eita quickly pulled you to him with a strength you had forgotten he possessed, repositioning your bodies until he was leaned against the back cushion with your side cuddled into his frame – your knees bent and feet on the other side of his thighs – and one arm wrapped around your shoulders with a free hand intwined with one of yours in your lap.

Part of him had expected you to completely break down and bawl, but instead you released silent tears, occasionally sniffling and wiping them away with your free hand. He murmured words of encouragement into your hair, just loud enough to not startle you but to remind you that he was there. Eita instantly regretted not keeping in touch more, even if Sayuri kept a close and endearing watch over your well-being. But you were engaging in an old habit of yours, the one where you’d put up a strong front to not give anyone a reason to worry, that you could handle things on your own.

Maybe he was feeling a bit lonely as well. The alcohol running through both his and your veins certainly wasn’t there to aid in any good decision-making, and the two combined with your own emotions, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was going for when he gazed down at you, waiting for you to look back up at him.

Your eyes were surely bloodshot by this time, and you could feel the tears slowly dry and crust between your eyelashes. Eita’s heavy, pointed scrutiny willed you to look back at him. Even with your slightly blurred vision and sake-addled brain, you failed to miss the way his eyes flickered down to where your lips were. Naturally, you glanced at his own with alarms softly sounding in your brain. This wasn’t a good idea, but you were two slightly lonely adults and if he wanted to…

Perhaps Eita had become a mind-reader over the last four years. Your heart rate skyrocketed as he leaned down at a snail’s pace, leaving you more than ample time to prevent this moment from ever happening. But it was undeniable that part of you wanted this, that at some time during senior year, you had briefly envisioned a few times what it would be like to kiss the setter.

Just once, to feed curiosity’s sake, to unveil the unknown.

Eita’s weakly parted lips were still, frozen when they gently met yours with the slightest bit of pressure. His shaky breaths faintly tickled your skin and you caught the whiffs of sake and something minty, the scent slowly intoxicating you. Something sparked in your veins, a slow tingle crawling up from the base of your spine, and you nearly shivered. A fragment of your brain registered the tightening of his hand in yours, a tacit and telling gesture of, “It’s okay. It’s up to you.”

You could resolve this in the morning.

You took the plunge, lips slowly moving against his to signal your tentative approval. Eita’s lips were as soft as rose petals, so tender against yours that reminded you of the full moon on a clear night sky. At every step, at every change, he soundlessly requested permission, whether it be with a cautious nudge of your nose with his or a squeeze of your fingers, and you granted the shift in angles, the slow repositioning for a position more comfortable. It hadn’t taken long for Eita to lose himself in you, wrapped up in this new, uncharted territory that you guided him through. He was more than satisfied with just kissing you, now hesitantly straddling his figure, at a comfortable, languid pace with his hands cradling your cheeks.

At some point, your hands had traveled to wound behind his neck, fingers lightly grasping the ash blond strands at the nape of his neck. When you subconsciously tightened your grip on them, Eita sharply inhaled, applying more pressure against your lips and causing you to lean back somewhat from the new force. He searched for stability by trailing his hands down to your waist, his hold tender yet unshakeable. Eita wasn’t planning on going any further, not when you weren’t completely sober to make a choice like that, but that didn’t stop him from scattering light kisses on your cheeks and jaw. Clearly, the alcohol had lowered some of his inhibitions, but not enough as his lips lingered over the span of your neck – his desire to mark your skin, to paint it with hickeys and signs of affection, would only unleash something darker inside of him, something that you weren’t quite ready for yet. Your heady breaths echoed in his ears and he felt you shake with temptation, your head subtly lolling to the side to allow him more room as a tacit gesture of consent.

Just one, he berated himself. Just one.

His nose ghosted over the skin from your jaw to your collarbone, catching the faint scent of what he assumed to be a mix of your body wash and natural scent. His senses found it comforting, grounding, and reminded him just how precious you were to him. You weren’t just a random girl at the bar he thought would be temporarily nice to make out with – you were (y/n), the girl who had watched over him and encouraged him during some of his most difficult times with a sport that was once his life, the manager who cared for him and his teammates to be nothing but their best, the person who the boys would unwittingly go to war for if anyone were to bring you trouble.

So he made that known, kissing the joint between your neck and shoulder, and reveled in the breathy gasp that escaped your throat. Little by little, he applied more pressure, preparing you for what he was about to do. His lips softly sucked on the skin, just enough so his teeth could graze it and nibble. Your hands were now fully entangled in the strands of his air, and as they tightened, Eita became more forceful and meaningful. You were entering a faint haze of ecstasy as he worked that one spot, determined to break the capillaries beneath your unmarked flesh and let the inevitable bruising bloom. He knew how beautiful you would look when he was done, and if he had your permission to, what a sight you would be with more littered on the rest of your body.

When he pulled back and deemed his work sufficient, he placed one last kiss on top of it before gazing back at you. Your eyes were half-lidded and hazy, traces of lust pouring into them as you struggled to even your breath. You knew in your bones that Eita was too much of a gentleman to go any further than this, and you were incredibly grateful. If something was going to happen between the two of you, you wanted to make sure that both of you were undoubtedly sober and fully aware of the decisions made.

Eita leaned his forehead against yours, stealing a few chaste kisses and rubbing his nose affectionately against your own. When he felt you were calm, steady, he made sure your legs were wound tight around his waist before standing from the couch with ease, arms holding you securely to his chest. His feet carried the two of you to your bathroom, placing you on the little counter space by your sink before unraveling your limbs from his figure.

Quietly, he handed over your toothbrush and squeezed out a small dollop of toothpaste onto it, repeating the actions with his own. The both of you tiredly brushed your teeth, somewhat thankful for the minty paste that would replace any lingering notions of the sake. But that hadn’t stopped you from staring at each other during the motions, only breaking the silence when foam escaped his lips and you couldn’t help but let out a tiny snicker. To which he only rolled his eyes dramatically, yet quickly held your gaze again as his own was filled with amusement and mirth, much akin to the look he had given you when you picked him up at the station earlier.

Minutes later, you two were tucked in your bed, facing each other in the dark. Eita tentatively searched for one of your hands, weaving them together once he completed this small quest of his. Little needed to be said as your blinks began to take on a slower pace, sometimes staying shut for a second or two before snapping back open. Your grip was loosening in his, but he felt he knew why you kept trying to get a good look at him, why you were unwilling to let sleep overtake you.

“Turn around,” he whispered. Too tired to question or fight back, you did as you were told, waiting with bated breath. Not long after you had done so, you felt the mattress closer to you divot just a bit more as an arm carefully snuck around your waist. You lifted your neck a bit to move your hair towards the side you faced so that Eita’s breathing wouldn’t be quite as obstructed, and he thanked you for the thoughtful action with a chaste press of his lips against your shoulder. The two of you adjusted slightly to ensure the position was equally comfortable.

Eita felt you considerably relax, almost falling back into his hold. His arm around your waist spoke volumes to you and part of him knew, part of him wanted to assure you that—

“I’ll be here in the morning,” he promised.

Because Eita knew that perhaps, you two needed to be reminded that you both weren’t alone, that there were people out there who desired both you and him; that the loneliness was just a blip in the timeline, and that eventually, your needs to be loved and appreciated wholeheartedly would be fulfilled someday by others than each other. You two could be good together, but the circumstances and other factors weren’t perfect. Maybe in another lifetime, Eita thought to himself.

And just as he suspected, that promise was all you needed to peacefully succumb to the dreamworld, with him following soon after.

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prettyboyreid · 4 years

Text

can you read to me? (II)

part one

Even after a silly fight, the reader can’t seem to go to sleep without Matthew next to her.

College!Matthew Gray Gubler x Reader

Warnings: language, angst

Word Count: 3223

Waking up next to Matthew always felt warm. From the touch of his skin to the weight of his heavy blankets… The only way to describe it was warm.

You woke up before him, just as the sun came up through the windows. His arms were wound around you, holding you to his chest. You could hear the soft snores escaping between his pink lips. The dark circles around his eyes were barely lightening up, but they looked better than they did last night. You smiled a bit, admiring his features before you checked the time. You let out a huff as his alarm clock reminded you it was just past seven in the morning, rubbing your eyes tiredly as his arm reached over you to turn it off.

You sat up slightly as he woke up, running your hands back through your slightly knotted hair as he adjusted the way he sat in the slightly uncomfortable bed. You felt his eyes on you, but you could only push yourself out of your spot.

His arm instinctively reached out for you, wrapping his large hand around your wrist. He pulled it away quickly, though, worried it would be overstepping or that he might have hurt you. You looked back at him anyway, crossing your arms over your chest to try and warm your body up a bit, not prepared for how cold his room would have been when you woke up.

“We should probably talk,” he said quietly, barely above a whisper. You nodded in agreement, looking around the barren room one more time before your gaze met his. His eyes were sad, like he had let his emotions bottle up and they were about to break through to the surface.

You sat at the edge of the bed and tucked your feet beneath you, waiting for him to talk. He took his blanket and wrapped it around you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable before he began.

“I’m so sorry,” he said immediately. You could tell he wanted to make sure you knew that, whether you heard him last night or not. “I was just being dumb and I let my feelings get in the way of yours. I shouldn’t have freaked out on you like that and I’m sorry,” he repeated, his hands folded in his lap as he spoke. He was usually expressive with his hands, letting them move around wildly as they told their own story, but now they were dormant.

You hugged the blanket around you a bit tighter, taking in the scent of him he left behind that you had missed so much. You had a few of his hoodies and shirts, but his smell faded away quickly, leaving you only with the aroma of your dorm room and your laundry detergent.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have stormed out like that,” you apologized, knowing you were at fault for the short break the two of you took. “I should have let you talk, I just… I was frustrated and didn’t even listen to you. I should’ve at least come back.”

He shook his head softly, running his long fingers back through his messy hair. “It’s not your fault,” he insisted, checking the time on his alarm clock again before looking back at you.

“I have my English final in twenty minutes, but if you want you can come back later and we can talk some more?” he offered, standing up before heading over to his closet. He was only in a pair of black boxer briefs right now, but he pulled out a New York University hoodie and a pair of black jeans. He quickly got dressed and ran a hand back through his hair a few times just to make it look presentable.

I simply nodded in response, getting up from his bed and trying to make it up a bit before you stood between the two dorm beds, arms folded over your chest as you looked over at him once he was dressed. “Uh, yeah. I have my film final at ten, but we can meet up for lunch if that works for you?” you suggested, watching as he made sure he had everything together for when he had to go to his final.

He smiled softly at the idea of the two of you going to lunch, almost like a little date. You had lunch every day together, and for the past two weeks you just felt a void in your day, sitting alone in your dorm with a take out meal from one of the many different fast food restaurants on the campus. You were almost positive he was doing the same thing.

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Do you want to just meet back here?” he offered, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he spoke. I nodded softly, checking the time before heading to the door.

“That’s fine,” you said with a faint smile, looking back around his room yet again before turning to Matthew once again. “I’ll see you then,” you added, leaning up onto the tips of your toes before pressing a quick kiss to his lips just prior to leaving him once again.

Your final was excruciating. You sat through all of your classmates' amateur films, your foot tapping anxiously on the thinly carpeted floors as you waited for your professor to dismiss all of you. While it was one of your favorite classes, you loathed the thought of staying here much longer when you knew you would be able to see Matthew again.

Just before noon, your professor let you all go with a bid of a good winter break. You scrambled as you collected your items and shoved them messily into your bag, practically tripping over your own feet as you made your way out of the large lecture hall and into the cold New York air.

It was usually a quick walk back to the dorm building, but today, it was as if more people had been in your way than usual, and they all were walking as slow as they possibly could. You constantly checked the clock on your phone, hoping to any sort of God that he wouldn’t just decide to leave after waiting for you for so long.

At 12:04, you found yourself at the entrance of the dorms, nearly sprinting to the elevators before you pressed the “up” button. The large metal doors opened for you almost immediately, and you stepped in and pressed the button for the fifth floor. The feeling of the cart pulling you upward almost made you feel sick, reminding me of the conversation you were bound to have almost immediately.

Matthew didn’t like to beat around the bush, and you admired that, but it also wasn’t always the best, especially when, right now, you just wanted to catch up. What had he been up to? Did he go see that new movie he had been talking about? Did he go to any parties?

As soon as the two metal doors pushed themselves apart, you took a right and immediately headed for his room. You held tightly onto the strap of your bag, as if your tight grip would calm your nerves, before knocking softly on the wood. You heard shuffling inside for a moment before Matthew came to the door, giving you a weak smile as he looked down at you.

“Hey,” he greeted you, somewhat blocking your view into his room, and not doing it subtly. You raised an eyebrow at his greeting, folding your arms across your chest as you tried to peer past him. He leaned slightly in your line of sight, hoping you would think that he was only stretching out after having to sit through a long final.

He wasn’t so lucky.

“What are you doing, Matthew?” you asked him, raising your eyebrows slightly at him. You could tell by his expression that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to cover up whatever he was hiding, but he also wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“N-nothing, just a little stiff, that’s all. I sat in that final for like two hours; I’m still a little sore,” he told you.

You always knew whenever he was lying to you. He had a tell - he would scrunch up his nose a lot more than he normally would. Right now, he would let it scrunch up between every few words.

You raised one of your eyebrows at him, trying to at least get the truth out of him before you pushed his door open further. You huffed out in annoyance at the sight before looking between Matthew and his bed.

On his bed - that you had slept on last night and made up this morning for him - was sitting his “best friend since freshman year.” Lydia was on her phone, ignoring whatever was going on at the door, as if being there was a chore. She glanced up slightly at the sound of the door hitting the wall closest to it, giving you a snide smile before looking down to the screen in her hands.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Matthew?” you asked him, your nostrils flared a bit as you turned to face him again. His cheeks were pink and his full attention was on you, but you could hardly be bothered to notice that right now.

“It’s not what you think,” he assured you immediately, his hands digging into the front pockets of his black jeans. “We were just talking. I swear to God, we just talked,” he promised, his eyes practically pleading for you to believe him.

“Were you talking to her for the past two weeks?” you asked him, not even waiting for him to answer before you turned on your heels and walked towards the other end of the hall. This time, he had at least half the conscience to follow you down to your dorm.

You didn’t want to let him in, but he made his way in just before you slammed the door.

“She came down to see if I was alright before she left! That was it!” he insisted, following you as you paced around your dorm. He made sure to keep some distance from you, not wanting to be too close to impose on your personal space.

Despite the fact that he really, really just wanted to hug you and tell you nothing had happened.

“Did you hang out with her in the past two weeks?” you asked him again. You couldn’t be mad at him if he did, since you weren’t technically together. But that wouldn’t stop you from being pissed at her.

He was silent for a moment before he nodded. “I didn’t know who else to call the day after, and I needed to talk to someone, and she was there.”

“Because I wasn’t a feasible option to talk to when we had just had an argument?”

He let out a sigh, shaking his head as he rubbed his eyes with his long fingers. “I didn’t want you to be upset with me or something. I figured you’d break up with me if I talked to you and I couldn’t handle that, alright?” he said, leaning against your bedpost while you stood in front of him. You watched his face as he looked distraught, trying to piece his feelings together in the best way to express them through his words.

You couldn’t help but feel your heart sink a bit at the way he phrased it. He figured you two were still together. You had assumed the same thing, but given that you two didn’t end up trying to fix things for two weeks, that led you to the conclusion it was over.

You couldn’t determine if that was a good or bad thing right now.

“Did you two… do anything?” you asked hesitantly. You knew she probably would have tried something, given what she had told you multiple times throughout your relationship with Matthew, but you needed to know for yourself if she had acted on it.

He was silent for a few moments before letting out a soft sigh. “She… she uh, kissed me,” he confessed to you, scratching at the back of his neck. When he saw your face drop, he shook his head quickly. “No, no, it wasn’t like that or anything. I- I pulled away as quick as I could, I promise.” His glossed eyes proved to you that he was telling the truth, but the knot in your stomach that he had formed didn’t make you feel any better.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered to yourself, running your hands over your face as you took it all in. You were expecting that answer, but it didn’t make it any less hard to hear.

“It’s not a big deal,” he started, pushing himself off of the bedpost before moving to sit beside you on the bed. “I’m sure you hung out with Jack or something while we were… whatever we were,” he said sympathetically, trying to make you feel better, trying to get rid of some of the guilt he had obviously been carrying around since that had happened.

“I didn’t, actually,” you snapped at him, turning to face him as you spoke. “I told him that night that I wasn’t going to hang out with him again. I thanked him for his help but let him know I had a boyfriend,” you told him, venom dripping off of each syllable as you spoke. You felt a little bad as you watched your boyfriend practically cower into himself as you raised your voice, looking down at his lap so he didn’t have to face looking at you.

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean to Y/N. I just needed a friend and she… she needed something else, I suppose,” he said, as if this was his form of an apology. It wasn’t exactly top-tier, but that wasn’t what you were worried about right now.

“Why didn’t you stop talking to her after that? Especially if you were under the assumption we were still together?!” you asked him, standing up from your spot on the bed so you faced him. His eyes darted around, as if he were trying to figure out the best possible way to explain it to you, until he simply shrugged.

“I don’t know. It was stupid, and I guess none of my other friends would have really understood what I was going through-”

“I did, Matthew!” you reminded him, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I knew exactly what you were going through, and you didn’t have the decency to come down the hall and talk to me,” you spat at him, frustrating yourself over and over again the more you thought about it.

“You didn’t either, Y/N. You could’ve come down and talked to me if you really needed to. It’s not my job to fix everything in this relationship. It’s not supposed to be so one sided,” he reminded you. You huffed softly, running your hands back through your hair before you shook your head.

“Just… leave, Matthew,” you said, knowing that if either of you stayed much longer that someone would say something they’d regret.

Your heart shattered in your chest all over again as you watched his eyes shift from angry to sad, his honey brown eyes widening and glassed over as he looked up at you. He stood up quickly, and you watched as he strained to rest his hands on your shoulders or bring you in for one of his famous tight bear hugs. “Wait, no, can we just… let’s just talk, please,” he pleaded with you, not wanting to have a repeat of the situation you had just found yourselves in. He couldn’t deal with not talking to you for that long again, only to have you start fighting once more.

“I just… I need to think, okay?” you said, much more harshly than you intended. He nodded softly, running his hands back through his messy hair before making his way to the door.

“Can you promise me something?” he said in a quiet voice, barely turning his head over his shoulder as he spoke. You nodded, knowing he would probably continue either way. “Come down before break,” he started, his hand resting on the cold metal doorknob. “I don’t want to go a month without talking to you,” he added, opening the door and closing it gently behind him before he got a chance to respond.

You spent the rest of the day in your dorm, mostly in your bed. You mulled over the argument over and over, resting your head on the white walls as you stared at nothing.

Your roommate had come back after her final only to change quickly. There was an end of the semester party going on at one of the frat houses at the other end of campus, and after seeing you moping, she wanted you to join. You thanked her but denied her offer, just wanting to spend the night by yourself. It was better than being surrounded by sweaty drunk and high college students celebrating their last final before they had to go home once again.

Once she had left, you ordered in some food from your favorite restaurant on campus, thankful that they had a delivery system in place. You didn’t want to have to leave your dorm again, wanting nothing more than to be swallowed up into your mass of blankets and pillows. You had opened your laptop to watch a movie just as your food arrived, paying for it and thanking the delivery man before playing a random movie you had saved to your drive.

You ate your food in silence, and once that movie was over, you just played another, and another, and another. You distracted yourself from your problems until your roommate came home, one of her friends helping her into the room and changing her into some sleep clothes. You closed your laptop and looked at the time, letting out a quiet groan as you saw that it was just past two.

As your roommate finally got settled into bed, you thanked her friend for her before turning off all of the lights, sinking down into your sheets as you stared up at the ceiling, memorizing the paint patterns as you tried to lull yourself to sleep.

You counted sheep, you counted backwards from one hundred, you tried to steady your breathing, but nothing seemed to work. You envied your friend across from you as she easily found herself fast asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

You tossed and turned on your mattress, quietly groaning as each half hour passed by, begging your body for some rest. You had a final that afternoon and you were headed home the day after, and you just wanted an hour, a half hour, any amount of sleep.

You soon realized that that was going to be impossible, especially as the sun began to poke out over the horizon, letting you and everyone else in New York City that a new day was about to begin.

God, you just wished that you could hear him read to you.

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tngrace · 3 years

Text

Road Trip

Written for @911lonestarangstweek day 4. This really got away from me 🙈 it was supposed to a short one shot, but now I'm debating making it into an AU series - so please leave me your thoughts on if that is something you'd like to see -and if it is something you'd like, I'd be open to request for the series.

This also takes my Road Trip square on my GTHB square for my bestie @justkillingtimewhileiwait thanks for letting change your original idea and run with this. I hope you like it boo! ❤

As always thank you @moviegeek03 for all your support on my writing.

GTHB masterlist; Read on A03

TK and Carlos met when they were freshmen in college at Austin Community College. They had a joint Lit class, and instantly became best friends. TK had escaped to Austin from NYC, having picked a random place on the map just wanting to get away from his parents. He was taking some classes to appease his mother, but he wasn't sure he'd make it past the first semester. He was debating between a career as a paramedic or a firefighter, but his mother insisted he needed to try college and find his own path. Carlos was struggling with his own career path as much as TK; he'd had a chance to go to the University of Texas on a soccer scholarship, but had turned it down in favor of finding his way at the community college first. He still played in a league in town on the weekends, but he knew it wasn't his career path. His father was a Texas Ranger, but Carlos wasn't sure that was the path he wanted to take. He was taking a mixture of classes between criminal justice, social work, and psychology to see if something stuck out more than the rest.

Their first semester was just general entrance level classes, but TK had already started some EMT classes alongside his Gen Ed ones. Carlos had started a psychology class with his Gen Ed ones, but he was waiting until he could delve deeper into all three programs before making any decisions. TK ended up liking Austin more than he expected and not just because of Carlos, so he ended up making it a whole year in the EMT program at Carlos's insistence. Carlos wasn't ready to lose his best friend just yet, even though he knew after that year, he probably would.

After that one year, TK joined the fire academy at ACC, electing to stay in Austin much to everyone's surprise. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to be a paramedic or follow in his father's footsteps, but with his level one EMT certification completed through ACC, he was able to join the academy fairly easily to see if he would like it. Carlos supported TK's decision either way.

They ended up renting an apartment in town together close to campus over summer break once TK decided he was staying. Once fall classes started back up, Carlos worked shifts at a community center that offered activities for kids, teens and elderly, around his class and soccer schedule, and TK worked weekend shifts at a coffee shop and restaurant. Thankfully real estate was cheaper in Austin than NYC, and they were able to afford the apartment on their part time jobs. Living together led to new challenges of getting to know one another better, but it also brought the greatest change to both their lives. Ever since the day they met, they were both slowly falling. Getting together was inevitable; falling in love was easy; making it last, well that was to be determined.

Sophomore year seemed to fly by and before Carlos knew it, he was having to make a decision on what he wanted to do next. TK had joined station 126 when he graduated from the fire academy. He was dual certified, and a total badass at his job in Carlos’s opinion, making him one of the most sought after probies of his class. Carlos ultimately decided to go on to UT and get a bachelor's in criminal justice with a minor in psychology. He still wasn't one hundred percent sure what he would do after, but having that extra time to decide eased his anxiety.

With TK working full time now at the station, Carlos was able to take on more classes if he wanted. He chose not to though; instead TK encouraged him to get back into soccer more, knowing how much Carlos missed it. His first semester at UT, he watched a soccer practice and decided to try out. Surprisingly he was able to walk on that year. TK supported all of Carlos’s decisions, just like Carlos did of TK. TK did his best to never miss a game, although sometimes his shifts coincided with them.

It was senior year, and there was a soccer match in Florida over spring break. The team elected to drive having convinced the coach to let them all drive separately so they could fully experience spring break after the games. Carlos was fine with driving on his own because he was known for getting car sick, sometimes exceptionally bad. He was surprised, however, when TK announced he'd taken the week off work to go with him. "Are you sure?" Carlos asked him when TK had told him.

"Yes. I saved up vacation for this. I might not have wanted the full college experience, but I don't want to miss your last spring break, or games," he grinned.

Carlos gave him a soft kiss that they both smiled into. "Ok," he whispers, not breaking their bubble. They packed that night and loaded the car so they could head out first thing the next morning. They had a sixteen and half hour drive ahead of them, so they wanted to hit the road as early as possible. They technically didn't have to be there til Monday, but Carlos liked having this extra time with TK since he was off work.

In the two and half years they'd been together, Carlos had managed to only catch a cold or bad allergies on TK. He had forewarned him on their first ever adventure together that he was prone to car sickness, but thankfully he'd not had any. The first part of the journey, Carlos was going to drive. TK was coming off a twenty four hour shift, and he wanted TK to get as much as sleep as possible. They'd just crossed into Alabama nine hours after leaving home. They'd stopped a couple times, but Carlos had insisted he was fine to keep driving. They were stopping for food, gas, and to stretch their bodies for a bit. TK was feeling more refreshed after his long nap, and he insisted on driving afterwards. Their goal was to make it as close to Orlando as they could before having to stop to sleep.

They eat at a roadside diner and discuss their plans for the week ahead. Carlos has a game Monday and if they win they'll play Tuesday; lose and they'll go home. He has to admit he's glad TK pushed him to pick it back up because it's been a great distraction when life feels too stressful. After they walk around for a little bit, and refuel, TK takes over driving and they hit the road again.

They've been driving for about five hours when TK notices Carlos has gone exceptionally quiet. "Babe? You ok?"

"Yea. Yea. I'm ok." He reaches over and squeezes TK's knee in reassurance even though he's not that convincing.

"Carlos?" TK tries again with a little more worry lacing his tone.

"Ok. Maybe I'm not so ok. I think I'm starting to get a little queasy, so I should probably try to sleep." He says it almost apologetically, but he also isn't sure he wants TK to see how sick he can get.

"Of course. You lay back and sleep and just let me know if we need to stop," TK says the worry clear in his voice as he runs a hand through Carlos's curls. He'd come prepared with some sprite, Gatorade, dramamine, and even his medic bag just to be safe. He knew Carlos said sometimes his car sick episodes could be pretty rough and he just wanted to be prepared to make Carlos feel better. He keeps an eye on him out of the corner of his eye, and while Carlos appears to be asleep, TK can tell from the furrow of his brow that he's still feeling rough.

After another hour, TK pulls into a gas station to refuel. He softly rubs Carlos’s cheek. "You want some dramamine?"

"Not really. It knocks me out and leaves me feeling fuzzy afterwards," Carlos murmurs.

"Ok. Gonna get some gas, and then we'll figure out a plan." TK softly kisses Carlos's forehead before he gets out. He hates that Carlos is feeling so sick, and he looks up motels nearby in case he can convince Carlos to stop and rest since they're so close to Orlando.

Carlos insists he'll be fine the last hour of the drive, even though TK is skeptical. He does get Carlos to take some sips of a sprite before they get back on the road. Carlos does his best to sleep the last hour to the hotel they'll be staying at for the soccer games, but it's hard with the way his stomach is rolling. Carlos elects to stay in the car while TK checks them in, and it's only once they've stopped moving that he realizes how sick he is.

He makes it over to the nearest bushes, and he violently loses everything he'd put into his body that day. If there's one thing Carlos hates, it's puking. It's the worst in his book, but he hates even more that it makes his eyes water to the point he cries. TK finds him mere seconds after he started puking, but Carlos is too sick to care at this point. He feels TK rubbing his back until he is done, ending with dry heaves. He stays bent over trying to catch his breath as his head pounds in time with his heartbeat. It's the sickest he's been in a long time.

"Here small sips. We'll stay right here until you think you can make it to the room." TK passes him a Gatorade he seemingly pulled out of thin air and rubs a piece of ice on Carlos's neck since he doesn't have a towel or washcloth. Gatorade is his least favorite, but he knows he'll need the electrolytes so he does as TK says and takes small sips.

After a few small sips and a few more gags at the taste, Carlos finally stands up and wipes at his eyes to try and hide and dispel the tears. "Sorry you had to see that."

"Hey no. I don't mind. I just hate that you were sick. Think you can make it to the room?" TK asks wiping at Carlos's face.

"Yea. Think so." His body feels heavy with exhaustion as always after being car sick and his head pounds still. He really just wants to lay down. TK wraps an arm around him and gets him back to the car. He drives around to their room and then helps Carlos out. When Carlos moves to grab some of their stuff TK stops him. "I've got it. Let's get you on the bed."

"You shouldn't have to carry all this in," Carlos pouts.

"And you need to rest ," TK counters. "You were pretty sick babe and you're still looking a little pale."

Carlos tries to hide his face, hating that TK had witnessed that, but TK just stops him with soft reassurances and leads him to the room. He hurries out for their bags, promising Carlos he can brush his teeth soon, and then he's back. Carlos’s eyes feel like they weigh a ton, but he stays awake long enough for TK to dig out his toothbrush. He let's TK help him over to he bathroom, hating how weak and tired he feels, but TK keeps up the quiet reassurances that he doesn't mind helping. It's nothing he hasn't seen on the job, and he loves Carlos, therefore he doesn't mind taking care of him.

Once his mouth feels fresh, he let's TK strip him down for bed. TK gets a cold wash cloth and rubs it over Carlos’s face and neck making Carlos hum in contentment. He gets Carlos settled in bed, and Carlos clings, not wanting TK to move far. "Ok. Let's cuddle," TK says fondly. He hates that Carlos is sick, but he's kinda enjoying seeing Carlos in a different element of being vulnerable in front of TK.

He softly rubs Carlos’s back as Carlos gets comfy. "Tomorrow should be better," Carlos murmurs softly.

"If it's not it'll be ok. I have some of the sea sick bands in my medic bag if you'd like to try them. You have to wear them at least thirty minutes before going anywhere or I would've suggested them earlier when we stopped. I just wasn't sure they'd do much for you then. "

"Mmm I might. Dramamine works. I just don't like the after feeling."

"I get that babe. But don't worry about it now. You just rest and let me take care of you." Carlos murmurs his assent, and with TK rubbing his back, he drifts off to sleep fairly quickly. TK makes sure he's good and asleep before he goes to get the rest of their stuff. He's quiet as he carries it in and starts to unpack. Once he's got the cooler situated, with most of the food in the mini fridge, he feels his own exhaustion creeping in. He strips down and crawls in bed with Carlos, smiling as Carlos instantly curls back around him. He's glad to see his boyfriend finally resting.

Carlos is still a bit sluggish the next day, so they sleep in and take it easy. After a light lunch and more Gatorade for Carlos, they try out the bands when they do some light exploring. They seem to help, but the true test will be on the trip home. By Monday, Carlos is back to full speed, and the soccer team wins. They lose on Tuesday though so the rest of the week is theirs to do as they please. One day is spent at Disney since neither had been before and despite knowing they won't be able to do it all, and the rest of the week is spent on the beach. They talk about coming back to Disney one day, wanting the full experience of all the parks. They have a blast together just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Carlos wears the bands on the way home when TK drives, and he doesn't get sick so he takes the win. TK is just glad he was able to take care of Carlos for a change and hopefully found a permanent solution to keep his love from being that sick ever again.

#911lsangstweek #911 lone star angst week #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tarlos au fic #writers life #gthb #good things happen bingo

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wonderland-in-bloom · 4 years

Text

an unexpected day off

[leona kingscholar x fem!pomefiore!reader]

anon asked: Yay requestss are open! May I request a oneshot where Leonas fem Pomfiore s/o's little sister comes to Night Raven to visit her and meets Cheka who is also visiting Leona and they become friends and all that cute stuff ( bonus Leona and readers reaction )

yes!! cute indeed uwu hi guys how are you all, are you dying over silver and lilia’s cards as much as i am? heheh

le fic under the cut

TODAY was going to be a chill day filled with activies which could be tied to lazing around. well at least that’s what both you and your boyfriend thought. but the both of you were wrong. horribly wrong. that morning leona was woken up by cheka literally jumping on top of him. while on the other hand, you were having a beautiful dream until the door to your room slammed against the wall after it swung open. “(Y/N)-NEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP! I’M SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU TODAY!” in your half awoken state, you were still able to recognize that high pitched voice. it was your younger sister.

“what the hell are you doing here?” you groaned as you buried your head in your pillow. “mom and dad want me here! besides i want to see how miserable you are.” you growled and threw a pillow at her. you two argued and fought so loud that vil came storming into your room with his face still full of cucumbers and a face mask and scolded both you and your younger sister. you really did just want to have one day off without anything crazy or chaotic happening, but hey, when is life ever calm? you sighed as your little sister dragged you around the whole campus. some students gave you glares and in return you gave them back glares which signaled “please help me i beg you”. they legitimately just laughed at you. after all, it was only entertainment for them. in the middle of the way as you trailed behind your sister in the courtyard, she suddenly stopped.

your eyes sparkled when you saw your boyfriend walking towards you from the other end. “leona!!!” you cheered as you rushed over to him. you saw a glint in his eyes as he was happy to see you too. you wrapped your arms around his torso and he placed his hand on your waist. “please help me....” you whispered. “yeah i could say the same.” you both turned around to face the children you were forced to babysit. they both froze as they eyed each other up and down. “oho? what do we have here?” cheka stepped closer to your little sister and eyed her even more intensely. “who are you?” cheka asked.

“i could ask you the same! i didn’t know kids were allowed here.” she shot back. “i’m cheka kingscholar...ojitan...leona’s nephew. and you?” you and leona saw the two bashful kids. “i’m (l/s/n). (y/n)’s litle sister.” it was a little awkward for a while. you were debating with yourself wether to break it up or do something at least. however as you were about to step closer to them, leona grabbed your hand. “wait, (y/n). this might be a really good chance. if the both of them gets along, then they’ll just wander off on their own. less work for us, ya know?” you bit your bottom lip. a negative multiplied by a negative equals a positive. which means that both their chaotic-ness and irresponsibility would cancel each other out and you and leona would have no trouble. you two would have a day filled with relaxing and lazing around just as you both thought. “hmm, you’re right.” you smirked. you and leona chuckled evilly as the two kids started a conversation.

you and leona didn’t even pay attention to them for five seconds and they were already running off to go play somewhere else. leona smirked as you both turned around, planning to head over to his room and just continue your beauty sleep which was cut short. leona slung his arm over your shoulder as you snuggled close against him and started walking to the savanaclaw dorms. however not long after, you heard a surprisingly high pitched yet familiar screaming coming from somewhere not too far from you. you and leona briskly made your way to the source of the scream to see...idia in a tree? “idia...senpai?” his eyes were wide filled with terror and fear. “(Y-Y/N)! L-LEONA! PLEASE HELP ME!” he pleaded. you two looked down to two very familiar figures right below the branch idia was gripping to dear life on. “YOUR HAIR IS SO COOL! WE JUST WANNA PLAY!” your little sister chirped. “PLEASEEE COME DOWN.” cheka joined her.

leona growled and grabbed cheka by the collar. “oi, what are you doing?” cheka pouted. “we were just curious!” he replied. “we just wanted to play with him...it’s not our fault he’s a scaredy cat.” your little sister joined. you smacked the back of her head. “that’s not nice. we’re so sorry idia-senpai. you can go now.” he slowly climbed from the branch and down to the ground and started running off. “heeeh, what a weird guy.” your little sister commented. “well you two were basically invading his boundaries. so.” she rolled her eyes. “sheesh (y/n)-nee, can’t you just let us have a little fun? come on cheka! we have more places to go to!” she giggled and the two kids started running off. remember when you thought that the chaotic-ness would cancel each other out? yeah. wrong. instead it multiplied and now they get into more trouble as a duo than you both thought.

and thus your day off from school was filled with running around, trying to catch the two kids, and apologizing to the other dorm leaders and students. to keep things short and simple, there were a lot of things those two did which disturbed the other students. first, they managed to leave the hedgehogs riddle used in his game of croquet to almost die because of shock and fear. this left riddle in a frenzy and it took the adeuce duo and cater to calm him down while trey urged the two kids to run off. but he didn’t even hesitate giving you and leona a little lecture. second, they sneaked into savanaclaw’s daily magift training sessions and held onto a couple of senior’s brooms. they almost fell a couple of feet from the air and had to be caught by jack and ruggie. ruggie (wholeheartedly) told leona off and when you wanted to catch the two troublemakers, they were already gone. third, they managed to infiltrate the mostro lounge and begged jade and floyd for piggyback rides. it went well at first but let’s just say the lounge didn’t look so good after the whole session ended. azul ended up threatening leona with blackmail and scolded the both of you for doing that to his precious lounge. (of course he threatened to sue leona but he just brushed him off. after all, leona was a rich boy so he didn’t really mind. lol)

fourth, they played hide and seek with kalim in his treasure room. for once, this was the one instance where the dorm leader wasn’t mad or troubled, but rather joined them in the fun. in the end, jamil had to drag kalim by the collar and scold him instead of you and leona. they continued their game without kalim and this time it was hide and seek with you and leona. of course you didn’t find them anywhere in scarabia and concluded that they headed off to pomefiore. rook was in a panic because the peacocks from the gardens escaped and started to cause havoc, making the garden a mess. epel was chasing the two children (as ordered by vil) but they just laughed and thought it was a game of tag. your dorm leader didn’t hesitate to blabber a handful of comments which made your ears ring and he also didn’t hesitate to slap the back of leona’s head. “irresponsible. just like their relatives.” he mentioned, hinting at the fact that like nephew/little sister like uncle/older sister. finally, cheka and your little sister stepped foot into diasomnia but regretted it the instant they stepped in.

they were greeted with sebek and silver who scared them off and made them not even dare to do anything which involves diasomnia. lilia tried to be nice to them and tried to calm the down as best he can (he is a father after all ha ha) but he managed to make them cry. at the end of your tiring and NOT AT ALL peaceful day, you found the two snuggled next to each other under a tree. they were both fast asleep. you and leona sighed in relief. you exchanged glances with each other before collapsing yourselves. “finally~” the storm has passed and you two could finally calm down. you both leaned against the tree and sat down with a ‘thump’. with aching feet and ears just having enough of lectures and rambles, both your eyes felt heavy. you were already drifting off to sleep when you felt leona’s hand position your head to lean against his shoulder. you smiled and that’s when you were engulfed in a deep slumber.

this really wasn’t the day off both leona and you were expecting. but at least you spent the whole day together and managed to work together as a pair to solve the mischief caused by the two children. well....somewhat solved it at least.

BONUS: “AAAWH THEY’RE SO CUTE! THEY’RE LIKE A LITTLE FAMILY!” cater whisper shouted from behind a bush. he took out his phone and readied his camera. you and leona were out cold. snoring and dead asleep as leona leaned against the tree and you leaned against his shoulder. cheka rested his head on leona’s lap whilst your little sister did the same thing to you. the four of you really did look like a cute, little family. “this might be a good time to ambush. don’t you think my beautiful queen?” rook commented as he put aside the binoculars. “hmm...maybe we can make use of cater-kun. those pictures can easily be blackmail. we can get them to do our bidding as long as we have their picture.”

“ah! smart and beautiful! that is our dorm leader, vil schoenheit!”

“that’s what the both of you get for disrupting my day off.”

♡

lol i included a sentence or two related to math (simple math tho lol). wai? i finished like four weeks of math hw in a day haha. yeah well it was stupid for teachers to give us summer hw. like i’m already stressed sm and now they’re just yeeting more stress to me. yeeeets. rant over.

love, a♕

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #30 days of twisted wonderland #30 days of twst #night raven college #savanaclaw #pomefiore #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar oneshots #leona kingscholar imagines #twisted wonderland fanfictoin #twisted wonderland oneshots #twisted wonderland imagines #vil schoenheit #cheka kingscholar #ディズニーツイステッドワンダーランド #ツイステッドワンダーランド

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years

Text

i hemoglobin you - byun baekhyun

⇢ prompt “Yeah, but Baekhyun doesn’t really talk romantics with me.” ⇢ pairing baekhyun x gender neutral reader ⇢ word count 4.8k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. kinda descriptive when it comes to the actual needle idk i’m bad at warnings if needles make u uncomfy don’t read. ⇢ summary You’d think, after some time, your crush on the annoying little shit named Byun Baekhyun would fade away. Fortunately for him (and you), falling out of love with someone brighter than a star is near impossible. Plus, needles are scary and even med kids need their hand held sometimes. Alternatively: Junmyeon found dead in a ditch.—friends to lovers!au ; college blood drive!au ⇢ a/n ok yes i realize this is an odd setting for fanfiction but like,,, my school had a blood drive & what happens in this is exactly what i experienced, minus the whole crush revealing they like me with a kiss thing. so i decided to WRITE IT OKAY?! also, i really tried to make this gender, color, absolutely everything reader neutral but then when i was editing i saw the nurse call y/n ‘miss’ so if i missed anything pls lmk so i can edit it!!! thank u & i hope u enjoy ♥︎

If it weren’t for that time you tried anal with your ex-boyfriend back in high school, you’d consider Byun Baekhyun to be the biggest pain in your ass. If asked, you definitely could come up with a hefty list of all the things about him that annoy the living daylights out of you, things from the unnecessary high volume of his voice to the time he introduced himself as “Bacon” on the first day of your internship at the hospital.

Truthfully, however, it all comes down to one certain realization: seeing Baekhyun’s stupidly cute smile has become the sole thing you look forward to everyday. For the first two years at university, you did not know Byun Baekhyun. You knew of him. As fate would have it, you were bound to meet at some point with an undergraduate enrollment of around four thousand, and your sanity began its downward tumble the third week of junior year.

At the time, you couldn’t quite put your finger on why he left such a sour taste in your mouth. From a distance, he was a star; this great, big bundle of sunshine and joy, full of life and spirit and in the eyes of someone as mild-mannered as yourself, he was magnificent and everything you wished you were. But, once the barrier between you fell and your relationship swiftly jumped from strangers to friends, you realized just how polar opposite you were. Always going out of his way to meet new people and a little too chaotic for you personally, Baekhyun draws attention to himself without even trying. And you can’t blame him— it’s hard to go unnoticed when you prance around with a thousand-watt smile and the energy of a three-month-old golden retriever.

Sometimes, you wished he had chosen one of the arts as his major rather than health sciences.

Nevertheless, it is hard to ignore such an innocently beautiful soul such as Baekhyun. No matter how many times you told yourself to find a new lab partner, no matter how many countless nights you found yourself rolling out of bed, bundled up in your blankets and into the cold hallway of your residence hall to knock on Park Chanyeol’s door and tell him to open the window for his frost-bitten roommate hiding in the bushes, no matter how many this or how many that’s, you couldn’t help but fall in love with the friendship and chaos that came with Byun Baekhyun.

If it weren’t for that time you tried anal with your ex-boyfriend back in high school, you’d consider Byun Baekhyun to be the love of your life.

“Absolutely not,” you interrupt, looking up from your clipboard in order to search the crowd for the younger boy. Baekhyun groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and dropping his head on your shoulder. “C’mon, ___. He’s fine, you know Sehun.” He whines, adding a drawn-out ‘please’ against your ear. It makes your stomach sink for reasons you’d rather not disclose.

“Baek,” you scoff, wiggling out of his grip despite his best efforts of keeping you against him, “are you serious? Sehun quite possibly may be the smallest person in this room. He needs to rest.”

“He’s twenty pounds heavier than me!”

“Taller, too.”

“___,” he groans, crossing his arms over his chest and mustering his best straight face. It makes you laugh.

“I’m not arguing with you. He did Power Red; he’s not going anywhere. If he didn’t want to miss chem, then he should have made his appointment later. It’s one class. He’ll be fine.”

“Why must you be so stubborn?” Baekhyun sighs in defeat, combing muted silver hair away from his forehead. Your eyes follow the movement, distracted for hardly a second, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “I learned it from you,” you smile, nudging his arm with your elbow. The signature tilted smirk returns. “Tell Sehun I’m sorry, but I—well, we—can’t risk letting him leave. He could have a delayed effect and end up passed out in the staircase. Twenty more minutes and he can go.”

“I get it,” he hums, snatching the tentative schedule out of your hands before you can even protest. For as rash as he may be, Baekhyun is not dumb. And even if he was, he knows that when you are as unrelenting as you are now, there’s no point in arguing. “I think I’m gonna try and donate.”

“What?” You exclaim, maybe a little too loud if all the Red Cross employees shooting annoyed glares your way is anything to go by. Baekhyun truly is started to rub off on you. “I thought you were scared of needles?”

“Heights, ___,” he scoffs, “needles aren’t my favorite, but if I’m going to eventually put them in other people, I better get used to them for myself.” As he explains, he rolls up the sleeves of his hoodie and presses at the soft skin on the inside of his arm before stretching it out for your examination. “I mean,” you hum, holding him still and feeling around for a thick enough vein, “you definitely have the veins. Do you want me to hold your hand?” You sing the last part cutely, lips puckered out at him.

“Will you? Since Sehun has to stay over there, I have no one else,” Baekhyun retorts, using your previous resolve to his advantage. You can’t tell if he’s oblivious or simply choosing to ignore your mockery. Rolling your eyes, you drop his arm and reach for your clipboard, tearing it out of his grasp. “Don’t you have anything else better to do than annoy me? Aren’t you supposed to be watching the donors?”

“Well, yes, but—”

Baekhyun starts, trailing behind you before the shout of his name promptly cuts him off. “Baekhyun! Can you help Jongdae carry in more water?” See, precisely as you were saying.

“But I like annoying you,” he pouts, hugging onto your arm and holding on tight. “Sorry, Baek,” you offer, feelings in shambles because 1) he is so cute you could cry but 2) he’s really distracting and now you finally will be able to focus, at least while he’s gone. Frowning, he releases your arm at last, combing his hair back and once again, you feel like throwing up.

“Go see if you can donate when you’re done,” you remind him, nodding toward the rather quiet donor room. “Yeah, I will. Wish me luck,” Baekhyun grins, blowing you a kiss. Without a second thought, you blow one back.

You have begun walking on an incredibly unstable rope, you realize, the thin line distinguishing the way you look at Baekhyun diminishing each and every day. On one side, he is simply your friend, your lab partner, a coworker of sorts. Comrades working toward the same goal, and once it’s reached, you go your separate ways. But on the other hand, he is much more than that. Now that you no longer live on campus, days spent bullshitting in the dining hall or dorms over, you most certainly do not spend as much time together.

And yet, nothing has changed. Except for your feelings, of course. This time last year, you were minding your own damn business when Chanyeol had to go and mention how much time Baekhyun spends with you instead of him. “Sorry?” You had offered, unsure of what the crease in his brow meant.

“No… don’t be sorry,” he hummed, deep in thought and stabbing at his salad in disinterest, “not to be blunt, but he usually bounces from person to person each week. He’s been sticking to you for, what, six months? Something is up.”

“Don’t you live with him?” You asked, confused. What was he getting at here?

“Yeah, but Baekhyun doesn’t really talk romantics with me.”

“Romantics?” You exclaimed, spit flying from your lips. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice.

“He definitely likes you. God, it all makes sense now! Okay, I need to do some interrogating,” suddenly rushing, Chanyeol was up and swinging his bag over his shoulder before you could blink an eye. “See ya, ___!”

“Wait!” You yelled out for him, but the obnoxiously tall boy just kept running, dodging students meandering around the dining hall. Slumping in your chair, you eventually turned to look out the window, watching as he continued his flight across campus. “Good talk.”

Nothing ever came up afterward. No answers, no clarifications, nada. Chanyeol never brought it up again, despite the expectant raise of your brows the next lunch you had alone with him. You were content shrugging it off— it was out of your hands. If Baekhyun liked you, so be it.

Or so you thought. Turns out, having such unanswered questions dangling over your head every time Baekhyun left his friends for you at parties, fell asleep with his head on your shoulder during chem, or arrived at your front door with your favorite boba in hand just because he ‘was driving by’ left your mind racing almost as fast as your heart. You thought, for some time, that you could dodge such budding emotions by countering it with all the things you didn’t like about Baekhyun. (Spoiler: it didn’t work.)

Even now, as you watch him catch up with Jongdae, the left side of your brain has already begun arguing with the right. You miss his annoying ass already, one side points out. But he was a distraction, now you have double the students to check in, the other reasons. With a heavy sigh, you shake your head to rid such enraging thoughts and turn to said students, counting each one before making your way to the first in line.

He can’t donate. You realize this before he has even left his seat.

From across the gymnasium, you have continued glancing his way as he went through the mini physical. Just before the finger prick, he shot you a thumbs up and a beaming smile bright enough to challenge the Sun before jerking in his seat at the sudden pinch. Laughing, the grin you returned has not even left your face before his shoulders are sagging, a cloud of disappointment replacing the anxious excitement that was there hardly ten seconds ago. Your smile is gone just as quickly as his.

Standing, Baekhyun nods one last time to the nurse before making his way over, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck from side to side. “Low iron?” You guess, opening your arms for him to nestle into your side like the little munchkin he is. “Yeah,” he mumbles, miserable, and you cringe knowing he’s going to be like this all day now. “I wish I could donate, but…” You drone emptily, trying to change the subject despite the deceitfulness of your ‘wish.’ Over your dead body would you lie on one of those tables and have a harpoon in your arm.

“You should, now that I can’t,” he hums, breath warm on your skin. Convincing as snuggly Baekhyun is, it’s not happening. “Yeah, I’ll pass,” you snort, offering a faux smile to a group of sophomore girls making their way in, shooting confused and envious glances your way. “Make sure to grab a water before starting your Rapid Pass, ladies. If you have not eaten much today, there are snacks by Katie,” you spew, pointing to said girl across the room, “if you have any questions, let me know.” With one last feeble smile, you turn your back to them because, well, it’s awkward facing multiple females whose eyes are trained solely on the boy clinging to you.

“You’re hot when your all doctor,” Baekhyun whispers, lips brushing ever so softly against your collarbone. Suddenly, you regret taking your sweatshirt off during lunch. Swallowing past the panic rising in your throat, you scoff. “Doctor? What doctor are you seeing that directs their patients toward donuts, muffins, danishes—”

“Hot ones, I guess,” he interrupts, smirking against your skin. “Ooooh ‘kay,” you wheeze, heart racing and eyes wide as you wiggle away from him, “y’know, maybe I will donate. Just so you stop bugging me.” Gasping, Baekhyun fakes a bullet to the heart. “Ah, but here’s the thing,” he counters, following close behind as you make your way to the front table, “my job is to distract donors from the needle, hold their hand, tell them ‘good job!’ So, it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

Groaning, you choose to ignore the inexhaustible boy and smile to Lauren once you have reached her. “Do you know if anyone can cover for me for a little? I’m going to try and donate.”

Gasping, she ruffles through the papers spread about her for the volunteer log. Then, “You should be fine. After those girls, the next appointment isn’t until two. I thought you hated this whole concept?”

Snorting, you pull one of the laptops towards you and begin filling out the information needed for a walk-in. “Yeah, well,” tilting your head in Baekhyun’s direction, you sigh, “he couldn’t donate, so now I feel obligated to. Plus, I need a break.”

“Ah,” Lauren hums, writing your name and ‘Walk-In’ on a sticker before passing it to you, “are you guys…?”

Immediately catching what she is hinting at, you jump up from your knelt position and quickly return to your station. “Nope! Negative! Okay, bye Lauren! Thanks!” Laughing, she chooses to ignore your antics, watching after you with a knowing smile when Baekhyun realizes you have left and scrambles to catch up.

You’re hoping you won’t be eligible since you left the country for vacation with your family nine months ago.

Never mind. It’s fine.

Perhaps your heart rate will be too high. You’re pretty anxious, after all.

84. Shit.

You flinch when the quiet-mannered nurse pricks your ring finger. Praying that your iron will be too low, you lean forward in your seat just enough to see the machine’s reading. 13.4. Fuck.

“Alright, I’m just gonna need you to read this first paragraph and sign here,” she directs you, using a pen to point at each spot. When she stands to wave for the next potential donor, you glance up to search for Baekhyun. You could use one of his smiles right about now.

And what you ask for, you receive. Finding your gaze instantaneously, he shoots you bright, encouraging grin and a thumbs up. It’s enough to calm your nerves. A little.

Offering an uncomfortable smile back, you return to your paperwork and hurriedly finish up, your leg bouncing ceaselessly. “All done?” The nurse returns, smiling softly at you and taking the papers when you nod. “You can head over to the third table in the middle.” “Okie,” you squeak, nice, “thank you!”

Good god, what happened to never allowing one of these needles to go in your arm? Sure, you have had blood tests done before, Hell, you have even given someone else one! But this… this is different. This is no ordinary needle, and you certainly do not have Byun Baekhyun veins.

“How are you doing today?” The Red Cross worker greets you once you have reached the table, smile warm and comforting. Seoyeon, her nametag reads. “I’m, ah… I’ve been better, honestly,” your voice comes out shaky and weak. You cringe. Going to med school and you’re whining over a needle. A big, fat, wide needle that will stay in your arm for more than five minutes. “Aw, no! Why’s that?” Seoyeon pouts, shuffling through your papers and slapping a big sticker onto the bag your blood, eventually, will fill.

“I have pretty tiny veins, so I’m really nervous this isn’t going to go well for me,” you admit, artfully rolling the sleeves of your tee even higher. Humming as she finishes carrying over the rest of the equipment, Seoyeon helps you onto the cushioned table before standing beside you, reaching for your arms. “Well,” she starts, brushing over each one for a few seconds before tying a tourniquet around your right bicep, “lucky for you, we do in fact check to make sure your veins are big enough. Hansol, can you double-check that this is alright?”

Your nerves seemingly do not know how to feel at the given moment. On one hand, these are professionals. They know what they’re doing. Plus, Seoyeon is lovely and has certainly eased your anxiety. Nevertheless, you realize that if your veins are okay, that needle is going to be in you in minutes.

This Hansol skirts around the table to feel the two veins Seoyeon has gone back and forth prodding. “Hm,” he grunts, pressing harder on the vein set deeper beneath your skin, “this one is good.” Oh, Christ. “Okay! Thanks,” Seoyeon smiles, then, once he has left her side, “you can lie back this way, sweetie.”

“Okay,” you sigh, settling back and resting your head on the pillow. Unsure of how to situate yourself, you awkwardly cross your legs and nestle your left arm into the pockets of your joggers, right arm dangling over the edge of the table. Then, just as you have closed your eyes, “___!”

Oh, good. This should be interesting. “Hey, Baek,” you smile at the boy as he jogs over, stopping on your left side. “You made it! No backing out now, right?”

“No, no. I’m praying for the best,” you hum, turning away from him to look straight up at the ceiling as Seoyeon begins sanitizing your arm. “You’re gonna be fine,” Baekhyun sings, tugging your hand out of your pocket to intertwine his fingers with yours, “if Sehun could do it, so can you.”

“I’m just marking where your vein is, no need to tense up,” Seoyeon interrupts, chuckling at how easily your posture has gone rigid at the sensation. Funny, how you only tensed up because of Baekhyun’s tender gesture. “I know I’ll be okay, I just,” anxiously licking the desert-dryness of your lips, you once again turn to Baekhyun, “I’m not looking forward to feeling this thing in my arm for ten minutes.”

“Nah,” he giggles, thumb swiping back and forth against your skin, “I’ll distract you!” Yeah, well you do that every day anyway, you snort to yourself, shamelessly taking advantage of the moment and scanning over his features, zoning in on the pinkness of his lips and the tiny moles sprinkled about his face. From this angle, even the shitty LED lighting of the gym somehow makes him look immaculate. “Alright, I’m going to count down from three,” Seoyeon interrupts your gawking, though you haven’t really processed her words until she’s on two. “One…” She utters, and you are instantly squeezing your eyes closed just as hard as your squeezing Baekhyun’s hand as the needle first breaks skin.

“Oh, shit,” you heave once it’s completely sheathed, rolling the plastic grip anxiously in your increasingly sweaty hand, “that actually wasn’t so bad.” Now that Baekhyun has moved to stand directly behind your head, you stare straight up at him and muster your best smile. Really— it was not as bad as you imagined, felt just like regular blood work. As long as you don’t focus too much on it remaining in your arm, you’ll be fine.

“See! I knew you could do it,” he cheers, letting go of your free hand in favor of combing his fingers through your hair. “Ooh,” you quite literally purr, leaning your head back to give him further access, “so, Mr. This-Is-My-Job, is this how you distract donors?” Chuckling, Baekhyun continues to comb through the knots that have accumulated throughout the day. “No,” he admits, “I usually just talk to them about what they did over the weekend. You’re an exception, though.”

Christ, you hope he can’t feel the way your face heats up at his words. “Ah, well, this is great. Thanks, Baek,” humming, you cannot help but let your eyelids fall closed. Peak comfort when you're donating blood? Not what you would have expected.

“So, what did you do this weekend?”

“Well, I went to Target, which was kind of disappointing.”

“Oh, yeah! Didn’t I see on your story that you only got one pair of pants or something?”

“Yeah! Crazy, honestly. I needed to pick up some things and they were completely out. Even their clothes were kind of slacking.” Before he can reply, Seoyeon returns to check up on you. Gasping in surprise, she gives your shoulder a congratulatory nudge. “___! Look at you! You’ve already filled up a fourth of the bag.”

“Oh shit, really?” Laughing, you try to lean up in order to see, but there’s no use. “Have you been drinking a lot of water today?” She asks. Well, now that you think about it… “Huh. I guess I have. Nice.” Chuckling, she fiddles with the tape holding the needle in place before turning away once more.

“So,” Baekhyun starts conversation up once more, “did you do anything else?”

“I hung out with Junmyeon on Sunday again.” Suddenly, you wish you didn’t tell him that.

“Oh,” Baekhyun coughs, accidentally yanking too hard on the tiny braid he’s attempted by your temple, “how was that?”

“It was fun. He’s a great guy…” Clearly, you are hesitant and he easily catches it. “But…?”

“I don’t know,” he’s not you, “I feel really immature and lame compared to him. He’s like, super chill and polite and somehow, it makes me nervous and then I act like I’m on crack. He needs someone older than him, not younger. A lawyer, or something.”

“___, you’re getting a degree in Neuroscience. What the fuck is lame about that?” Baekhyun scoffs, undoing the braid and starting over on the other side. “I don’t know! I guess I just don’t have romantic feelings for him. Everyone keeps pushing me to go for it and he really is amazing, but… it’s just not what I want.”

“No one’s forcing you to date him, ___.”

Well, yeah, but he doesn’t know the bit where your friends are doing it so you can get over a certain someone else. “I know. I think he’ll be fine when I tell him I just want to be friends.”

When a heavy silence falls over you, you rush to change the topic. “So! What did you do this weekend?”

“I played New Horizons,” Baekhyun chuckles, giving up on the braid and going back to simply combing through your hair. When you laugh, you feel the vibration in your arm and realize with another wave of surprise that you still have a needle in you. Damn, looks like you’re a pro at this. Who knew!

“All weekend?” You snort. He definitely went out for drinks with Chanyeol or something.

“Yes, sadly,” oh, never mind, “I couldn’t help it. It’s so relaxing. I can’t wait to go home and play.” He sounds ashamed. “Hey,” you shrug, “sometimes we need a mental health day. Or weekend.”

“Or week.”

“Month?”

“Year, I’m thinking.”

In the midst of your giggle fit, Seoyeon returns, evidently shutting the two of you up. “You’re all done! I just have to take a few tubes and then I’ll tell you when I’m going to take the needle out.”

“Wow, was it just me or did that seem really quick?” Baekhyun asks, frantically moving to hold your hand when he notices you wince at the uncomfortable feel of the needle moving slightly as Seoyeon fills each tube. “No, you’re right,” she hums, “six minutes! Wasn’t so bad, right?”

“Not at all,” you agree, blinking up at the ceiling. Still, you can’t wait to be done. “You sure? Your hand is shaking really bad,” Baekhyun murmurs, hovering directly above your face. He looks funny, messy hair cascading around him and cheeks looking extra squishy. It makes you smile. “Yeah, just nervous for it to come out, actually. Feel like it’s gonna hurt,” you admit, accidentally squeezing his hand when all Seoyeon does is remove the tape on your wrist keeping the line in place.

“Alright, you ready? It’s just going to a be a little pinch,” Seoyeon interrupts, giving your fingertips a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah,” you hum, instinctively sucking in a deep breath and squeezing your eyes shut.

The sensation that first registers in your brain is not that of Seoyeon slowly withdrawing the needle from beneath your skin. Actually, it’s unnoticeable behind the gentle pressure lingering upon your lips, soft to touch and minty in taste. Blistex, you recognize, eyes flying open just in time to see Baekhyun leaning back up. “Did you just—”

“Alright, keep pressure on this for me and keep your arm straight up,” Seoyeon interjects, oblivious to what just transpired as she presses a hefty square of gauze to your skin. You oblige, brain cells going haywire still trying to piece together the fact that Byun Baekhyun just kissed you.

“Do you do that to everyone?” Is the first thing you blurt to the grinning boy, who, surprisingly so, wears cheeks just as rosy as yours. “No,” he laughs, moving to the side and continuing to stroke you hand, “just donors named ___.”

“Oh,” wrinkling your nose, you slowly lean upright once Seoyeon instructs you to do so, “can I ask why or am I just special?” When she busies herself for few moments cleaning up all of the equipment, Baekhyun releases your hand in order to cup your face with both hands. “Well, of course you’re special,” he murmurs, thumbs swiping against your jaw, “but I figured this was a good opportunity to show you how much I like you.”

It takes a fat second for you to realize what he’s just said. Like you?

“I’m gonna kill him,” you groan, definitely not the response he was expecting if the way he retracts is anything to go by. “Kill who?”

“Chanyeol! Like, a year ago he went all detective mode on me trying to figure out if you liked me, but then he never said anything again, so for the past year I’ve been going nuts trying not to fall for you because I figured if he had nothing to say, you probably didn’t like me like that, yet here we are a year later and—”

In the midst of your mindless babbling, Seoyeon coughs, promptly shutting you up and you turn to her with a wince. “I just need to wrap you up, then you can head over to Recovery,” her attempt to hide her smile is futile but you don’t comment on it, instead allowing her to wrap elastic tape around your elbow. “Leave this on for about an hour, or you can take it off after twenty minutes. Other than that, you’re good to go!”

“Thanks so much, Seoyeon,” smiling appreciatively at her, you slowly turn to slide off the table with the help of her grip on your other arm. Before you are even fully upright, Baekhyun has rounded the table to help, slipping his arm between yours. Honestly, you feel perfectly fine, but you’re not about to go arguing right now. Once he starts leading the two of you toward Recovery, he breaks the silence once more. “So, were you finished back there, or can I talk?”

Cringing, you shake your head, avoiding looking him in the eyes. “No, I’m done.”

“Good,” at this, you pinch his arm, “Chanyeol didn’t say anything because I told him not to.” Baekhyun shushes you when your mouth opens to argue. “I thought I would make a move a lot sooner. But every time I went to, I just started panicking thinking you didn’t feel the same, because, y’know, you don’t show much emotion. And then you started hanging out with Junmyeon… but that doesn’t seem to be working out, so I decided to wing it.”

Your jaw certainly must be on the floor. Stopping by the snacks, Baekhyun releases your arm so you can fill your hands with a donut, apple juice, and a bag of Cheez-Its. “Glad to see we’re both airheads,” you grumble with a mouthful of donut, “I say we blame Chanyeol.” Making sure you safely seat yourself onto the mats spread around the room, Baekhyun then joins and sits crisscross across from you. “I agree. It’s his fault.”

Then, once you have stopped laughing, Baekhyun leans in close, face centimeters from yours and evidently stealing all the air from your lungs. God, he sure is beautiful. “This means you’ll go out with me, right?” He whispers, wiping away a sprinkle that has managed to stick itself to the corner of your lips.

“I thought you were going to play New Horizons when you got home?” You tease, raising one arm to sling across his shoulders. Groaning, he finally cups your face in his hands, strawberry pink lips ever so slightly brushing yours as his smirk deepens. “I am, but you can come watch.”

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bunnibai · 3 years

Text

Enterance Exam Taiyuu

AAAA ITS HERE students used in order of appearance: Zuruko Kayaki, Nahito Kirai, Sainochi Yurei, Merce (mentioned), Busujima Aki (mentioned), Takeda Yukino (mentioned), Naishin-Sunomu Isejin (mentioned), Naishin-Sunomu Seisho (blink and you miss her), Kokoro Boar

Kayaki had always been very good at hide and seek.

When she was four, back when the birds still sung in the springtime and the bright yellow flowers dripped with fresh morning dew, Kayaki had been friends with a small gaggle of kids. She would run through the rich mud, splatters of brown dropping on her robin’s egg blue dress in a colorful, careless, fun mess. She would crouch down behind a bush, her hair matching the blossoms that would protect her from the sight of the other kids, keeping her breath silent. Patient. She would have to suppress airy giggles, her right hand over her mouth and the left holding tight to a stuffed animal.

Of course, as Kayaki grew older, she became much more experienced with the game. Instead of shuffles behind trees and urges to keep quiet, the game was more serious. Stony eyed gazes focused on the black shoes that tap-tap-tapped against the slick concrete. Sidestepping out of the way of flashlights, bright and swishing like a bloodhound. It felt like more than a game; like, instead, life or death. Age tended to make things feel more weighted, that way.

Long after cottony blue eyes became stormy grey in the cloudy light, Kayaki stood, 15 and holding an umbrella to her side. The forecast had never said anything about rain, but it never hurt to be careful, especially with how the sun itself was hiding in wait to see what the weather would bring. In the quiet residential neighborhood, big houses of pristine white walls were locked by big fences and keypads. It was one of the most secure in the city, maybe the country, and Kayaki felt small lingering by the gate. If someone was to walk down the street, if they were perceptive enough, she was easy to pick out. However, people were rarely perceptive enough for a girl like Kayaki.

The gate swung open, and Kayaki straightened to attention, not unlike a dog awaiting orders. Kirai adjusted the bag on his arm, looking at her and raising an eyebrow. It wasn’t questioning as much as it was amused, in the way a child might be amused watching a flightless bird struggle in a puddle of water.

“My, my, how long were you waiting, Kaya-chan? That eager to see me?”

Kayaki had long since learned to translate her best friend’s passive aggressive jeers into more friendly, conversational Japanese.

“It’s good to see you, too, Toto-chan.” She patted at her skirt, carefully smoothing out any creases. He looked her outfit up and down, shifting his weight and putting a hand on his hip.

“Kaya-chan, don’t you think that outfit is a little impractical? You’re going to cry when you fall during the exam, and then I’m not going to stop to help you up. I can’t pull your weight forever.”

Kayaki hummed, spinning her umbrella and following Kirai a step behind. “You’re worried for me?” She spoke in a soft, questioning tone. Kirai scoffed, crossing his arms.

“I am not worried for you.”

“I’ll be okay, Toto-chan.” A ghost of a smile traced Kayaki’s lips. It was cute, when he worried about her like that. Of course, Kayaki wasn’t worried. To her, whether or not she passed wasn’t much of an issue. Whether or not Kirai passed felt much more important, all things considered.

The walk to the train station was mostly silent. That was the thing about Kayaki and Kirai; they had never really been the type to pour their hearts out to one another. Instead, they took value in the ability to be comfortably quiet with one another. It was a level of understanding that was rare in any pair of people.

Kirai abandoned her the second they found the small cluster of students waiting for the train.

Kayaki watched him stride up to the group, dazzling them with an introduction and a wink. She stayed back, folding her hands behind her and leaning against the wall. She had expected it, of course. Kayaki and Kirai always seemed closer to one another when they were alone.

It was better this way, anyways, watching everyone excitedly chat with one another, avoiding her by just an inch.

The train was comfortable, surprisingly so. She found a nice spot towards the corner of the bus, storing her umbrella under her and folding her hands in her lap. A part of her wanted to relax fully; it was a nice, closed space.

The rational part of her knew otherwise.

The train had been going for a few minutes when a weight on the seat beside her shifted.

“You mind if I sit here?”

Kayaki startled, looking up at the boy hovering by the seat. She nodded, taking a second to find her words. “Uhm—yeah, I don’t mind.”

He sat down, rummaging in his bag. “What’s your name? I’m Sainochi Yurei.”

This was more talking than Kayaki had been counting on. He was charming, though, and seemed harmless enough. “Ah… I’m Zuruko.” After a pause, she quickly added, “Kayaki.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Zuruko-san!” He smiled at her, taking out some kind of almost-machine Kayaki couldn’t identify. “Taiyuu, huh? It’s kinda scary, knowing we’re almost there.”

Kayaki crossed and uncrossed her legs a few times. She fiddled with the hem of her skirt, scrunching the familiar fabric against her fingertips, struggling to find a way to carry the conversation without seeming rude. “Yeah, uhm… It’s weird. I wasn’t expecting it to come so soon.”

Sainochi-san turns a small gear, nodding. “You know, once we get into her school… that’s it. We’re on the path for this forever. I don’t even know if… Well, I know I want to help people, but what if I’m not a good hero? What comes after that?”

“...I’m not sure if being a hero is my thing, either.” The honesty of Kayaki’s words shocked even herself. “I don’t know… I’m not good at the whole combat thing?” Her face flushed. “I’m sure everyone here is super confident in what they wanna do. But I…” She stilled.

“...I know what I want to do right now. And I know that that means walking through those doors and passing that exam.”

Sainochi-san is silent for a moment. “...that’s a good way of thinking of it, Zuruko-san.” He fumbles with his things a bit more. “Uh—music always helps me calm my nerves. If you want…?”

Kayaki smiled appreciatively and took the earbud being offered to her. The music is something that sounds vaguely familiar, although she doesn’t recognize it.

After a couple songs, Kayaki’s eyes are closed and she’s bobbing her head ever so faintly.

“Hey—! Uh, uhm, Zu! Check it out!”

Kayaki startled again, and her eyes opened. “Huh?”

Sainochi-san pointed to the window, eyes wide. “Look! It’s a freaking—we’re underwater! Isn’t that cool? Imagine the kind of technology needed to do something like this! In order for the air pressure to—,”

Kayaki was not following whatever he was saying. That wasn’t what made her so curious; instead, she was focusing on something totally different, however small it was. Although she felt the telltale buzzing of her quirk right at the back of her neck, however difficult it was for him, Sainochi-san had remembered her name.

She put the information in the back of her mind and continued to listen to him ramble.

The rest of the ride went smoothly, but something felt… Off, to Kayaki. As if something was terribly, terribly wrong. She kept glancing around the train scanning the faces, but she couldn’t pick out any particular threat. Eventually, she casted it aside as nothing.

Getting off the train, Kayaki dusted off her skirt, trailing behind the crowd of kids. They all seemed to be joking about one thing or another; Kayaki herself preferred to hang towards the back. It was easier to get by that way, not being noticed.

The school was less of a highschool and more of a college campus to Kayaki. The group was led down into the big auditorium building in a poor attempt at a single file line.

The auditorium was big, and smelled the particular clean, pine-y smell that Kayaki had always associated with newly built places. The floor was lined with carpet, not yet dirtied by the shoes of teenagers or their messy habits. It was well lit, with different teachers set up at the entrance and in the aisles. There was a banner above the stage that read Welcome to Taiyuu High!, big in Japanese and smaller in English at the bottom. Each chair had a little desk that could be slid over, and each chair had a piece of paper with a name on it.

The seats were randomly assigned. Kayaki was seated at the very back, tucked away in a corner. Kirai, on the other hand, had been sat towards the middle. He was currently turned around in his chair, hand on his chin and chatting with one of the other participants. Kayaki shifted, and he glanced up, raising an eyebrow in a clear question. What are you waiting for?

Kayaki looked down at the little nametag that designated her seat. She printed out name was the only thing stopping her from changing seats, and for a moment, she considered letting it go. It wasn’t until she saw the empty seat beside him, not yet taken by it’s participant, that she had decided what to do. It was going to be quick. Switch the nametags, sit besides Kirai, easy.

It was not that easy.

“What are you doing?”

A fellow examinee hovered in the aisle, watching her with muted confusion as she grabbed the other person’s name tag off of the desired chair. They looked plain, even more so than her, shifting a backpack on their shoulder. Kayaki eeped.

“Sorry! Uhm—is this yours?” She held up the nametag.

They nodded. “What are you doing with it?”

Kayaki opened her mouth to come up with some kind of excuse, glancing towards the bag. “We aren’t allowed to have personal items,” She told them, raising her voice a little. They frowned, holding it to their chest.

“Who has a personal item?” One of the teachers, a young woman with grey hair and a nametag that read Aurora, skips over. “Whoa! We were supposed to leave all belongings at the front.”

They blink a few times. “But… what am I supposed to use during the exam?”

“Your own wits and strength! That’s what we’re testing!” She patted them on the shoulder, leading them away as they protested. Out of their sight, Kayaki could feel the buzzing of her quirk as she swapped the nametags.

By the time the kid had come back, they went straight to find their seat, not even glancing at Kayaki as she nestled in besides Kirai. She almost felt bad for them, now item-less; but she figured that, if she hadn’t used it as a diversion, their bag would have just been taken up later. It wasn’t her fault that she had been the one to point it out, and if she happened to benefit from the diversion, that wasn’t anyone’s business.

Kirai glanced over, having been bickering with one of the other students. “Well,” he sighed, “The exam is about to start. Took you long enough.”

Kayaki smiled a bit. “I missed you, too, Toto-chan.”

He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I did not miss you. Try not to fail, alright? I know it’ll be hard without my luck.”

“Thank you, Toto-chan. I hope you pass too.”

The exam was largely uneventful. The questions all felt repetitive to her, and she had spent more time bubbling in the answers then mulling over the questions. She might have been one of the first to finish, but she had waited, carefully counting out half of the participants before raising her hand.

Her first event came soon after. Kayaki and the other students were lead to a small clearing, the dewy grass clinging to their shoes and crunching under their feet. The other kids had a cocktail of different emotions; some shifted side to side and glanced around. Others picked at their nails, hand on their hip. Others were standing so straight and alert they might as well have been taking notes.

Wolfsboon stood at the front of the crowd, arms crossed and looking very unhappy about being in the situation. “The goal is simple,” he called out. “You’re all getting five minutes—and only five minutes—to go hide anywhere in the arena. There’s a ring of tape to stop you from going out of bounds, do it and you’re disqualified. Hurt any of your fellow examinees or the wolves, and you’re disqualified. Sabotage, and you’re disqualified.”

Someone in the crowd raised their hand.

“What if I’m caught petting the dogs?”

Wolf looked confused for a moment, before it was overtaken with annoyance. “You’d be disqualified if the wolf touched you.”

There was a series of disappointed grumbles in the crowd. Kayaki shifted around antsily, anticipating the start.

“Is that all?”

There was a pause.

“Then your time starts now.”

The crowd dispersed quickly. Kayaki weaved her way through the trees, glancing around. She knew that the smart option would be to climb a tree. It was so obvious, in fact, she was almost certain there was a catch. She wasn’t one to overthink her situation, though. So she grabbed a branch and hoisted herself up.

Kayaki had hidden in trees during a game of hide and seek many, many times. It wasn’t too different from this; the rough bark rubbing up against her palms. The way the leaves, ever friendly and rustling with the breeze, would brush up against her face, daring her to do a thing about it. Every creak was a warning of how the tree was feeling about the arrangement, and if it groaned the wrong way, it meant you were about to fall.

Kayaki heard the whistle blow, and her breath grew quiet. She kept her eyes open, scanning the field, but her mind was somewhere else.

Quiet. Quiet quiet quiet. Sometimes, people say that if you don’t move, people won’t see you. Those people were right, in Kayaki’s case. She had to control everything, to how her chest raised and fell to whether or not her foot was about to slide. She had been expecting her contestants to do the same thing.

She saw a girl run just ten or so feet from the base of her tree, footsteps loud and her outfit even louder. She threw a small bomb, and when it exploded, a sticky substance covered the ground behind her. The wolf sprinting out of her slowed, tugging at it’s paws lodged in the goo and whining. She laughed, sticking her tongue out and throwing out a rude gesture.

“Have fun with that, Puppy!”

She kept running past. Kayaki blinked a few times, listening to her yell out as she went along.

...well. So much for being quiet. Suddenly, Kayaki became painfully aware that being unnoticed might go easier than she had thought. As time went on, the other kids only got more distracting. She heard screams of the other kids, and at once point, she could have sworn she saw an entire dome grow from the ground. By the time the alarm sounded, a voice came out from the speakers strung along the field.

“Congratulations to Takeda Yukino, to make it all 15 minutes!”

Kayaki sighed, annoyed, climbing down from the tree. “She’s not the only one,” she called out, waving her hand halfheartedly. There was a small pause, and a wolf bounded up, sniffing her. Trailing behind them, Wolfsboon walked into the area.

He slowed to a stop, eyeing her up and down. The wolf trotted in front, sniffing at Kayaki and digging his snout into her side. She smiled, reaching out and petting him. He yipped at her in return.

“Where did you come from?” He asked, eyeing her up and down and cross referencing Kayaki to his clipboard. Kayaki shifted in her spot, frowning. “...I was hiding. In the tree? You never said it was against the rules, so I figured, uhm… it was okay?”

“It’s fine.”

Kayaki scratched just under the wolf’s ear. “So… I’m good?”

“Do you have an ID?”

Silently, she pulled out her ID. He nodded, scanning it over.

“...Good job, Zuruko-chan.”

Kayaki, having also been signed up for the next event, only had ten minutes to switch out. She grabbed a drink of water, pulled up her hair, and followed the group of kids to what she was quickly realizing to be the exact same area as before, just a different section of woods. She wondered if the teacher would have nodded to her, if she was any other student. She wasn’t any other student, of course; and most likely, he had long since forgotten the interaction in the second event.

The wolves were nowhere to be found. They might have all been dismissed; although they weren’t quiet living things in the way traditional animals were, the idea of a creature suddenly… not existing made her nervous.

“The third event is straightforward.”

In the crowd, one of the kids raised their hand. Their eyes sparkled with something mixed with curiosity and mischief. “Wolfsboon-sensei?” They bounced on their heels, tucking their hands behind their back.

“Yes?”

“What’s the name of this event?”

“That’s unimportant.”

“I feel like it’s kinda important, though!” They pressed, flitting their hands in the air. “How else are we supposed to be on an even playing field? As heroes, we need to know all of the information that’s available to us! That means knowing the name of the events! I’m just trying to make use of all my resources.”

Wolfsboon sighed loudly, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Dogcatcher.”

Pleased, the student snickered, their smile still wide. “Thank you, Sensei.”

“Any more questions before I start actually explaining the rules? I suppose you’d like to know the footsize of my wolves, or their favorite icecream flavor, since we’re going around asking stupid questions.”

“That might be pretty helpful, actually,” The same kid mused, tapping their chin. Beside them, a taller girl nudged them, muttering something Kayaki couldn’t pick up.

“Sorry.”

Wolfsboon went on to explain the rules. They had thirty minutes to catch the wolves running in the woods, and bring them back from a safe zone. At the sound of the bell, Kayaki separated from the group, who had been mostly sticking together. It wasn’t like she’d be much help to them; and even worse, they wouldn’t be all that much help to her. Too loud. It’d give her right away.

Finding a wolf was easy enough. He was sniffing the ground furiously, his tail wagging. Kayaki, silent as a mouse and with a quirk to cover up any lingering traces of her presence, pressed against a tree. She had done this many, many times. Be quiet. Don’t let them know you’re there. A wolf doesn’t take kindly to a sheep in their den, after all.

She pounced, colliding with the wolf and the ground. It yelped, squirming and pawing to get out of her grasp. With effort, she held it down.After the struggle came to a standstill, Kayaki noticed a terrible problem with her plan.

Kayaki was not strong enough to drag a squirming wolf back to the safezone. If she tried to move to hold him better, he would have definitely escaped. She cursed under her breath.

Footsteps crunched behind her, and Kayaki tensed. She struggled to wiggle her way to see the kid standing by the treeline, eyebrow raised in a silent, judging manor. Well… it seemed judging. Instead of being a completely average person, they had heavily mutated features, like a boar.

“Uhm. Hi.” Kayaki’s face heated up. They eyed her up and down, before nodding. Their hooves clicked a few times; at first, Kayaki had no idea what they were trying to do. But the tapping had a pattern, one that was… oddly familiar.

Kayaki stands in pitch black room, cold and unforgiving. She’s crouched close to the ground, straining her ears to listen out. There are footsteps, before they stop, cold. The person’s foot taps on the ground in a pattern.

.-- .... . .-. . / -.. .. -.. / - .... . -.-- / --. ---

Kayaki grabs her small utensil, hitting it on the ground lightly.

- --- / --. . - / .- / ... .... .. .--. -- . -. -

Kayaki blinks, holding the wolf tighter. “Repeat that?”

It takes a second, but Kayaki makes out the message, What are you doing?

“Oh! Uhm, participating in the event? I mean, trying to. I can’t… Well, I can’t pick up the wolf.”

How did you pin it down, then?

“I snuck up on it. Quirk.” Kayaki shrugged. “Why, are you having trouble?”

They keep hearing me coming.

Kayaki’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Well, uh. I can help with that? I mean—if you don’t mind. I just need you to carry them.”

After a small consideration, they nodded once. They walked over, picking up the wolf and slinging it over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The wolf squirmed, but he wasn’t any match for the kid, who was strong.

“What’s your name?” Kayaki asked halfway to the safezone, trying to keep up with their pace.

Kokoro.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kokoro-san.”

Kokoro-san handed the wolf back to her right before they got to the zone. Kayaki heaved it over the line, where it flopped over with it’s tail swishing. She looked around.

“...that’s weird. Were we the first ones to bring a wolf over?”

They shrugged.

Does it matter?

“Good point. You got the next wolf, okay?”

They nodded. Not one for conversation, she guessed. They spent five minutes wandering around, looking for any wolves. There were… None. At all.

“This is weird,” Kayaki muttered, following a trail of paw prints. They had found a few sets, and… They were all going to the same place? They were a lot more straightforward than wolves meant to run away from students should have been.

Stop.

Kayaki stopped, looking around. Kokoro-san pointed to a small section of woods were the rest of the students gathered. The wolves were crowding around the same kid who had asked the question at the beginning, who was beaming and sprinkling sand over the wolves head. They urged the other kids to take wolves.

Kayaki stiffened. “What are they doing?”

Getting the wolves.

“All of them? Doesn’t that feel a little greedy?” Kayaki kept her voice low, although the group looked preoccupied. “Even if they’re letting kids take the wolves, that defeats the point. No one would be able to show off their skills. It’s making the whole test useless, just so they can show off.”

Kokoro-san huffed out through their nose, nodding. Annoying.

“Well,” Kayaki frowned, crossing her arms. “I’m not taking any pity wolves.”

We can grab from the edges.

Kayaki nodded. “...yeah. We should.” She eyed the kid, laughing as they made a joke to the tall girl from earlier. Something made her feel off. She pushed down the annoyed cocktail of emotions, and nodded to Kokoro-san. “Let’s go.”

All in all, with all of the wolves being quickly put to sleep by the group, Kayaki and Kokoro-san only got three each. It was more than she had been expecting, though, and she was fairly pleased with herself.

“We make a pretty good team, Kokoro-san.”

They didn’t respond, and she smiled to herself.

Kayaki was, thankfully, not participating in the next event. She settled in the waiting area, watching as the group of kids completing the 4th event gathered with one another. She spotted Kirai, talking to a taller boy with blue hair and—

Kayaki felt her entire body tense up. She didn’t know him; she didn’t think so, anyways. But something about him made her feel sick and uneasy, like a parasite that clung to its host. She narrowed her eyes, searching her mind. She would have remembered someone like that, she was sure. But nothing quite came to mind. It was like a bad dream, just out of her reach.

It occurred to her that it might have been because of the way Kirai had a small half smile as he bragged about himself. It was subtle, but it… Well. It was a lot more friendly than Kirai ever was with most kids.

She looked away, clenching her hands and thinking it over. After the event, Kirai came over, sitting beside her and setting his arm on his knees. “Kaya-chan, Darling! It feels like I haven’t talked to you all day! How are—”

“Who is that?” Kayaki interrupted him, frowning. Kirai blinked a few times. “Pardon?”

“That kid you were talking to earlier. Who is it?” She sounded impatient. Kirai looked back behind him.

“Merce-san?”

The name didn’t settle right with her, either; it was completely unfamiliar. “Yes.”

“One of the other applicants. Dumb as a brick. Why?”

“Just curious.” Kayaki crossed her arms, hugging herself. “How’d your round go, Toto-chan?”

“I did great, of course.” He smirked. “As if there were any doubts. What about you? It looks bad on me if you do poorly, you know.”

“I know. I did okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Kirai nodded. There was a small stretch of silence between them. Kayaki fiddled with her things. “...hey, you wanna sleepover after this, Toto-chan?” He considered it, nodding. “If you’re so desperate to have me over.” Kayaki smiled to herself. “Always.”

The last event was a run, plain and simple. There weren’t actually many kids competing in this round; none of them looked particularly flashy, either. Kayaki knew that, just running, she would have trouble keeping up with any of them. Her quirk wasn’t going to be of any help; for all intents and purposes, she was going quirkless.

Or was she?

Kayaki had an idea. A stupid one that could have gotten her disqualified, but an idea nonetheless.

When the siren went off, they all started off running. Kayaki verged her way towards the right, eventually drifting into the treeline. Once she was covered, she started slowing down. And down. She spotted the others, trying to overtake one another and tripping over obstacles.

If she was any one else, Kayaki would have definitely been called out for going out of the bounds. But Kayaki wasn’t one to be noticed for breaking small, tiny rules.

It was a boring walk, and waiting in the treeline was even more boring. She let herself cool off, watching the teacher check off people as they came up to her and claimed their time.

After roughly thirty minutes, Unbreakable went over their list.

“...Zuruko-chan? Has anyone seen Zuruko-chan?”

Kayaki sped walked out in the clearing. Once she was halfway, she raised her hand.

“I was here the whole time, Unbreakable-sensei!”

They squinted at her. “How come I didn’t notice you?” Their voice was suspicious; as it should have been, really. Kayaki shrugged.

“My quirk probably made you forget? I told you a while ago.”

They scanned their checklist again, looking confused. “Oh. I guess it does say that’s your quirk, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, Kiddo.”

Kayaki waved her hand. “It happens all the time.”

“What was your time again?”

“19 minutes,” She replied smoothly. Not crazy, distinctly in the middle of the times. They wrote it on their list, nodding to themselves. “Make sure to stay here so I remember to write it down. Good luck.”

“Thank you!” Kayaki smiled.

She was done. Kayaki took a deep breath, waiting for Kirai so she could head home. He told her he felt pretty good about the whole thing, too. Kayaki was proud of them both. Maybe, she thought, things might just turn out after all.

---

Across Japan, in Osaka, a girl holds up a flyer in her hands. It’s advertising a hero school just off of the coast of the ocean.

“Hey, hey! Look at this!”

She points. Her brother comes over, brushing his fingertips over it. “That’s great, but I don’t know what it’s for.”

“I wanted to scout it out, right? I was thinking of applying—”

He cut her off. “You? To a hero school?”

“Shush! I thought it might be fun. Anyways, I went to sign up, and guess who I saw! Just guess?”

“Who,” He said, sounding largely uninterested.

“Yakizu-chan.”

The air grew much, much darker.

@taiyuu-oct

#bnha #bnha oc #writing #taiyuu #taiyuu oct #entrance exam #zuruko kayaki

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ceealaina · 4 years

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Title: You’re Feeling Just the Same Link: AO3 Rating: Teen Major Tags: MIT Era, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Shenanigans Summary: Rhodey's a softie at heart. So when he's walking to campus one day, and sees what appears to be a dead groundhog on the street, he goes to move it out of the way becauses he's just that kind of guy. Only it's not dead, it's just sunbathing in the middle of the road like a dumbass.

He names it Tony.

What follows is a series of ridiculous events in which one James Rhodes accidentally adopts a groundhog, and finds himself trying to hide both it and his feelings from the real Tony. Word Count: 6,774

My long-awaited (by me) fic for the IronHusbands Big Bang. I had an absolute blast working on this. You can find Jay's incredible companion art here, and if you love yourself at all, you'll definitely check it out. Thanks, Jay, for being so wonderful to work with!

And thank you to feyrelay for letting me scream about this story over and over again!

*****

It started, as these things always seemed to, on a Wednesday. Rhodey was walking to campus, lost in thought about how ridiculously, desperately in love he was with his roommate, when something caught his eye on the road up ahead. There was a small, brown shape on the pavement, still too far away to make out exactly was, but Rhodey had a pretty good idea.

“Please be a paper bag, please be a paper bag,” he muttered to himself as he moved closer. He’d woken up this morning to Tony looking absolutely gorgeous in worn sweatpants and a threadbare tee. His hair had been a wild mess and his eyes had held a manic gleam behind those adorable glasses of his. Rhodey has wanted to kiss good morning him so badly that for a moment he had thought his heart might explode.

He couldn’t take anymore heartbreak today.

But as he moved closer, his fears were confirmed. A small groundhog was lying on the road, sprawled on his back with his little feet up in the air. Rhodey felt a pang in his chest. He’d always had a soft spot for animals, and this little guy looked so innocent that it hurt to see him like this. Strangely there wasn’t a mark on him, no sign of blood, and Rhodey wondered if he had maybe scared himself to death instead. That felt even worse, somehow.

The road was usually fairly quiet, but his location might make it difficult for cars to see him. Rhodey hummed a minute; the groundhog might already be dead, but the idea of leaving him there to be crushed beneath the wheel of a car felt wrong. Making a decision, Rhodey stepped off the sidewalk. He’d just move him off the road and into the grass, where he could rest in peace or whatever.

He had just bent over to scoop him up — making a mental note to wash his hands very thoroughly the second he got to campus, and to start carrying a pair of work gloves in his bag — when the groundhog shot to life with a low ‘chuck-chuck’ noise. Rhodey yelped, equally startled, and the groundhog shot up onto the grass. For a long moment the two of them just stared at each other in mutual surprise before the groundhog chattered at him angrily and then waddled off into the bushes on the far side of the sidewalk.

“Well, fuck you too,” Rhodey called after him, a little disgruntled. He hesitated a moment longer after it had disappeared into the shrubs, and then continued on his way to class. “Excuse me for tryin’ help. Not my fault you decided to sunbathe in the middle of the street like a dumbass.” He huffed a laugh to himself. “I’m gonna call you Tony!” he threw back over his shoulder before making at face himself. “Oh my god, I’m yelling at a groundhog. Pull it together, Rhodes.”

***

Rhodey usually liked to vary his route to campus, but the next day he found himself heading down the same street, telling himself that it was just in case and that if there was no sign of the groundhog, he could stop worrying about it. But, as it turned out, he was right to worry because sure enough, in almost the exact same place, he found the groundhog again, lying apparently lifeless on the side of the road.

“Okay, seriously?” he asked as he moved closer. This time he could hear actual snores, little snuffling sounds that were kind of adorable. “What, would you like me to bring you a little trifold mirror next time, so you can work on your tan?”

The groundhog opened its eyes, blinked at him, and apparently deeming him No Longer a Threat, closed them and wiggled against the hot pavement.

“You are one weird marmot,” Rhodey informed him, moving closer still. “Come on, get up you dumbass rodent. You’re gonna get run over by a car and then we’ll both feel bad.” The groundhog still didn’t move though, not even when Rhodey was standing right next to him. Wondering if groundhogs were people biters, he took a risk and nudged it with his toe. Looking very puto out, it finally got to its feet, chittering at him again as it wandered off into the bushes. “Ungrateful!” Rhodey called after it.

That afternoon, after Tony had headed back to the lab with a “bye, Honeybear! Save me some dinner!” Rhodey found himself digging out the Yellow Pages, trying to find someone who could safely rehome his new little pfriendet. But apparently groundhogs were considered irrelevant at best and a pest at worst. The city’s animal services didn’t care, and after the fifth private company he called talked about gasses and poisons, he gave up on that route.

Really all it came down to was tricking the groundhog into new habits. When Tony kept sleeping through his eight am Physics class, the one that demanded mandatory attendance, Rhodey had ‘trained’ him into getting up with coffee; he figured this wasn’t really that different. If he could figure out what the groundhog liked, he could lure him away from the road and then get him to associate the designated safe zone with food. Three weeks tops and the groundhog would be safe and Rhodey could stop worrying about it, easy peasy.

Problem number one was, of course, that he had no idea what groundhogs even liked to eat. One trip to campus later, and he found himself immersed in the reference section of the library, sitting at a table with three different ‘G’ encyclopedias, two ‘W’ encyclopedias, and a handful of possibly relevant farming and gardening books that he’d been directed to by a bemused looking librarian -- he supposed that groundhogs weren’t the biggest research topic at MIT.

By the time he made it back to the apartment, it was dark out, Rhodey was exhausted, and he knew more about groundhogs than he’d ever planned. But he also had a good idea of how to lure Tony Jr. away from the road. There’d been a few different ideas about what groundhogs liked to eat, but he planned to start with apples, carrots, and -- weirdly -- cantaloupe (five different sources had sworn by it). He let himself in the door, distracted by planning when he could make a trip to the grocery store, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he was greeting with a, “Fucking finally!” from the kitchen.

“Jesus,” he muttered, glaring as Tony came out of the kitchen.

“Where the fuck were you?” he demanded. “You weren’t home when I got back, no note, no nothing. I was worried , Rhodey. I thought you’d died .”

“Drama queen,” Rhodey grumbled with a fond eye roll. “Chill out, Stark,” he added, shrugging off his jacket.

Tony huffed, striding back into the kitchen. “You laugh, but it only takes a minute to get kidnapped, Sugarlumps.”

“Yeah? Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” Rhodey said, following him down the hall but detouring past the kitchen to flop out on the couch.

“Uhh… Only the one time. I don’t know, I think that’s kind of an outlier though. They weren’t very competent kidnappers. Like five stars for the actual snatch and grab, and 0.001 stars for managing to hold on to the target.”

Rhodey shook his head; he couldn’t tell if Tony was kidding, but he had a funny feeling he wasn’t. “Your life is weird, man.”

“No shit.” Tony reappeared in the kitchen doorway. “Hey, where were you actually though. This is supposed to be your free night.”

Rhodey ignored the warm little thrill that lit up his belly at the thought that Tony knew his schedule. It didn’t actually mean anything, Tony’s brain was just… Like that. He may not always know what day it was, but he did know what was supposed to be happening at any given time. “At the library,” he told him honestly. “Last minute research project. I forgot all about it.”

That was at least mostly true, but Tony still squinted at him suspiciously. “That doesn’t sound like you…”

He shrugged. “Happens to the best of us, right?”

Rhodey felt like the fact that he was hiding something was written all over his face, but after another moment of suspicious staring, Tony shrugged too. “Yeah, guess so,” he acknowledged, sliding back into the kitchen. “Still, leave a note next time! I was expecting dinner.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes, grinning up at the ceiling since Tony wasn’t there to see the besotted look on his face. “Ain’t your housewife, Tones.”

“Luckily your sugar daddy’s got it covered,” Tony retorted, returning this time with two plates piled sky-high with Chinese food. He passed one over to Rhodey, who took it with an appreciative groan, before flopping onto the couch beside him, leaving almost no room between the two of them. (That didn’t mean anything either; Tony had never had a sense of personal space.) He held up a forkful of food, pointing it in Rhodey’s direction with a crooked grin that he couldn’t quite interpret. “To last minute research projects.”

***

Rhodey wasn’t even surprised when he arrived the next afternoon -- after a detour through the grocery store -- to find his groundhog friend sleeping on the road again. “Dumbass,” he muttered under his breath, pretending he didn’t hear the fond note in his voice. “Okay Tony,” he announced in a louder voice, waiting for the groundhog to open his eyes. “Here’s the deal.” He slid his backpack off his shoulder as Tony watched him warily, reaching in and pulling out a fresh bunch of carrots. Tony’s nose wriggled in interest. “You get your dumb ass off the road, and in exchange you get a nice juicy bunch of carrots. Sound like a fair deal?”

Tony made a couple of interested grunting noises that Rhodey chose to interpret as a yes. Snapping the first carrot into haphazard, uneven pieces, he put the first one right by Tony’s head, the next one a little farther, then a little farther until he had a trail of carrot pieces leading to an empty lot that had overgrown into something resembling a meadow. In the middle of said meadow, he dumped the rest of the carrots in a little pile.

It took a few minutes, but Tony’s nose wiggling increased and slowly he rolled over onto his stomach and wandered over to the first carrot piece. Still eyeing Rhodey a little suspiciously, he bit into the vegetable, eating it quickly. Rhodey held his breath, but when nothing happened Tony wandered over to the next carrot and then the next one. Rhodey followed him from a few feet away as he slowly moved over to the field. When he found the pile of carrots in the middle, he made a startled squeaking noise that sounded like nothing more than pure delight, running over to the pile and shoving his face into them. It was adorable, and Rhodey beamed, feeling entirely too pleased with himself.

“Phase One a success,” he crowed, whistling all the rest of the way to campus.

For the next week, Rhodey showed up every single day with some kind of snack for Tony. He’d follow the same routine, luring him safely to the field where he’d leave a whole pile of treats waiting for him. It seemed to be working, and even if it was wreaking havoc with Rhodey’s schedule a little, he figured it was only for a few weeks.

“Okay dude, what the hell?” Tony hissed as Rhodey slid into his typical seat beside him, late for the third time that week. “Why are you always late to labs now?”

Rhodey busied himself with pulling his notebook and pencils out of his bag. “Reasons,” he hedged, not meeting Tony’s gaze. Sure, he could probably just tell him the truth, but he could just imagine the jokes that Tony would level him with. Somehow it was easier to just… not.

There was a moment of silence from Tony, long enough that Rhodey started to get a little nervous. Did Tony somehow know? Had he seen him with groundhog Tony, and now he was going to get made fun of extra hard for not even being man enough to own it? But then Tony made a sudden noise of understanding.

“Did you meet someone?” he demanded, a note of delight in his voice. “What’s her name? Ohhhh. What’s his name?”

Rhodey swallowed hard, going full dumbass in the face of Tony’s sudden interest, and his easy acceptance of the idea that Rhodey had a secret boyfriend. “His name is Tony?” he offered, before he realized how that sounded and his eyes went wide. “Fuck! I mean — not you. I mean, not not you, you’re very attractive, but…”

He trailed off hopelessly, wanting to bury his face in his arms but feeling like that would make him even more pathetic. Tony was watching him with a strange glint in his eyes, but before he could say anything there was a throat clearing from the front of the room.

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Rhodes. Unless you would like to teach the class yourselves…?”

Tony opened his mouth like he was going to offer to do exactly that, but Rhodey gave him a swift kick in the ankle first. He rolled his eyes but relented and didn’t bring the subject up again.

***

It was on the second week that Rhodey realized he may have created a problem for himself. He and Tony Jr. had developed something of a… Working relationship. The groundhog seemed to know him now, had gone from perking up at the sound of Rhodey’s footsteps to actively waiting for him at the same time every day. The problem was, he was waiting for him in the road. And Rhodey had been so sure that his plan would work that he hadn’t bothered to think of an alternative. The luring him away part was working like a treat, but he had no idea how to get Tony Jr. to start waiting for him literally anywhere else.

He had kept up with his routine in the meantime, hoping that maybe Tony Jr. would suddenly clue in and start waiting for him on the sidewalk instead. Which is why he was there on Friday, when the car full of rowdy, probably newly-licensed teenagers came flying down the road.

He had been a few feet away, grinning when Tony sat up on his hand legs to ‘greet’ him, nose wiggling rapidly in anticipation of whatever the snack of the day might be. He heard the car before he could see it and reacted on instinct, racing to close the distance between he and Tony -- who, amazingly, didn’t run further into the road -- and snatching him up just in time. He lost his balance in the process, rolling to the far side of the sidewalk and ending up lying on his back in the grass, a very bewildered groundhog nestled against his chest as the oblivious car flew by.

For a minute, Rhodey tensed. He and Tony may have had something of a rapport, but he also knew that groundhogs could be vicious little fuckers, even beyond being a wild animal. He was fully expecting a bite to his arms or chest, but after a moment Tony wiggled and yawned, stretching out on his chest like a damn cat, before shifting enough to nose at Rhodey’s backpack, squashed uncomfortably beneath him. Rhodey let his head roll back, staring up at the sky before he sighed.

“Fuck it,” he decided. “Let’s go home.”

Rhodey would never say it out loud, but there were times when Tony -- the human one -- being the heir to the Stark empire worked in their favour. For example, he was pretty sure he had Maria Stark to thank for the fact that, when they’d started out looking at dinky, one-bedroom apartments, there had ‘suddenly’ been a nice, two-bedroom-plus-office available in their price range. Or how it was Tony’s last name that had given him unfettered, private access to one of the MIT labs, letting Rhodey claim that apartment office for himself.

Or for Tony Jr, as the case now seemed to be.

It had been surprisingly easy to get Tony Jr. set up in there. He’d built him a little cardboard box tunnel system, piled some hay and alfalfa in the corner, brought in a little kiddie pool and then some bunny toys he’d found at the pet store, because he figured a groundhog was still a rodent, right? He’d been worried that there wouldn’t be enough stimulation for him, but Tony Jr. had delved right into everything, and definitely seemed happy enough.

So now he had a groundhog secretly living in their No Pets Allowed apartment with Tony carrying on none the wiser. What even was his life sometimes?

***

Rhodey slipped out of the office after refreshing all of Tony Jr.’s supplies, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he found Tony waiting for him at the end of the hallway. “Jesus Christ, man,” he gasped, keeping an ear out for any strange, groundhog-related noises that Tony might be able to hear. “Don’t do that.”

“Okay, twitchy,” Tony replied with an arched eyebrow. “What, were you watching weird porn in there or something?

“No!”

“Cause you know if you find weird porn you gotta share. That’s the rule, Rhodes.” Tony nodded like he’d made some kind of actual point, and Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“I will keep that in mind. What’re you doing sneaking around like some kind of troll?”

“I wasn’t sneaking! I was looking for you. Because I wanted to know what the fuck this is.” He hefted up the full cantaloupe that Rhodey had been storing in the fridge, lifting it up above his head.

“It’s a cantaloupe, Tones.” Rhodey didn’t hide the way he was laughing at him as he pushed past Tony, moving to flop down on the couch in front of the television. “How do you not know that?”

Tony followed him, still cradling the melon in question and peering down at it speculatively. “I don’t know, I’ve only ever seen it cut up in fruit cocktail. I didn’t know it looked like this.” He frowned, lips pursing in that adorable little pout that Rhodey found absolutely irresistible. “It kind of looks like a brain.” He grinned then, holding it up against his forehead and taking wide, staggering steps toward Rhodey. “Yarrrrrrgh,” he groaned in what Rhodey was pretty sure was supposed to be his best impression of a zombie. “You’re going to eat my braiiiiiiiiins.”

Rhodey blinked back at him, trying very hard not to laugh. “See, now I’m just confused. Are you the zombie, or the zombie victim?”

Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “Spoilsport,” he grumbled, setting the cantaloupe down on the table and sprawling out beside Rhodey instead. “But really, why do we have a cantaloupe in the fridge? I’ve known you for three years, Rhodeybear. I’ve never once seen you eat cantaloupe… Oh shit!” He sat up, a manic gleam in his eyes. “Is it for your new boooooyfriend?”

He dragged the word out like a 12-year-old girl at a slumber party, and Rhodey huffed, squirming a little. The only boyfriend he wanted was Tony himself, but it wasn’t like he could just say that. “Shut up, Tones,” he grumbled instead, turning on the television and missing the little frown that crossed over Tony’s features.

***

Rhodey had heard about skunks, and raccoons, and even foxes being kept as pets before, but never groundhogs. As it turned out, there was apparently a reason for this.

Tony Jr. liked him well enough. He perked up as soon as Rhodey stepped into the room, nose twitching in a way that was the cutest thing that Rhodey had ever witnessed, outside of Human Tony’s attempts at waking up before eight am. He’d started rushing Rhodey at the door, nosing at his pockets for whatever treats he’d brought him, and if Rhodey sat on the floor with him for a bit, Tony Jr. would snuffle around him before snuggling in with his back along the lengths of Rhodey’s thighs, sometimes munching on a snack he’d dragged over, sometimes just drifting off to sleep with soft little snores. He was adorable.

But he was also a destructive little fucker. And Rhodey hadn’t even known that groundhogs made sounds before, but he was loud. There had been a few times where he’d had to fake a sudden coughing fit while watching TV with Tony, so he wouldn’t hear Tony Jr. skittering around over the floor, doing whatever it was he did to entertain himself. On one particularly memorable night, Rhodey had picked up the phone while Tony was in the kitchen and proceeded to hold a very loud, very fake fifteen-minute conversation. He’d hastily mouthed to Tony that it was “a guy from his lab” and then, feeling incredibly stupid, pretended not to notice the way that Tony’s scowl grew deeper and deeper as his TV watching was interrupted.

Unfortunately, whatever Tony’s suspicions were, Rhodey didn’t manage to do much to assuage them over the next few weeks. It was a few days later that Rhodey slipped out of the office, locking the door behind him (just in case) only to turn around to find Tony leaning against his bedroom door, watching him with an expression somewhere between suspicious and confused.

“You don’t usually lock that, do you?”

His tone sounded more curious than upset, but Rhodey felt himself breaking out into a sweat anyway. “Uhh. I have… Gifts in there. For… People.”

Tony’s expression shifted, going blank. “People,” he repeated, clearly disbelieving.

Rhodey winced, but if living with Tony had taught him anything, it was to dig in his heels. According to Tony, show enough confidence and you could get away with anything. (Funny how that always seemed to work out so much better for Tony than it ever did for Rhodey.)

“People,” he repeated anyway, as confidently as he could manage. “For… Christmas.”

Tony’s eyebrows arched. “Wooow,” he drawled. “The first week of October. Look at you go, Rhodes.”

It was probably a sign of just how far gone he was for the other man that Rhodey recognized the exact tone of Tony’s voice, the ‘hurt but trying to mask it with sarcasm’ edge that he usually only reserved for conversations with his father. Rhodey wasn’t sure what about his dumbass behaviour would cause Tony that much pain, but he hated being responsible for it with every fibre of his being. For a minute he almost caved and confessed everything then and there. But while he was working out where to even begin, Tony just sighed and shook his head.

“Sorry,” he told him, like Tony had absolutely anything to apologize for when Rhodey was secretly hiding a groundhog in their apartment. “I’m just having a day. I’ve gotta run though. I’ve got a meeting with the engineering department -- apparently they don’t know if I’m making use of my excess of lab time responsibly.” He waggled his eyebrows and grinned, back to being Rhodey’s Tony, and the moment passed.

It was a couple weeks after that that Rhodey, alone in the apartment, had gone in to check on Tony Jr. only to find him happily munching on one of Tony’s spare EuroAV cables.

“Oh shit,” Rhodey yelped, lunging toward him because he was pretty sure there was no way that was part of a healthy, balanced, groundhog diet. He was starting to wonder if his groundhog was part cat though, because the second he saw Rhodey coming his eyes went wide and he started to back under the chair in the corner, dragging the wire along behind him.

What followed was a truly embarrassing twenty-minute wrestling match in which Tony Jr. got the better of him many, many times. Rhodey’d had no idea that groundhogs could be so fast. Or so crafty.

Eventually he’d emerged victorious -- or as victorious as he could consider himself when he was flushed and sweating and was going to have to buy Tony a new EuroAV cable -- and locked the cable’s remains away in the cupboard while Tony Jr. went to sulk in the corner. He went back out for some water and very nearly screamed when he came across Tony, standing there and staring at the door.

“Tony!” he yelped instead, resisting the urge to grab at his heart as he narrowly avoided a heart attack. “Jesus Christ, man. What are you doing here? I thought you had class.”

Tony shrugged. “Dr. Campbell cancelled.” He paused a moment, considering. “I heard noises,” he told him, looking Rhodey up and down. Rhodey followed his gaze and fought back a wince when he saw how rumpled his shirt was, and how a couple buttons had popped off, letting bits of chest peek through the fabric. “Everything… Alright?”

“Oh yeah,” Rhodey said airily, internally panicking. “Just… Physics problems. You know how it is.”

Tony stared back at him, unimpressed, but before he could speak Tony Jr. decided to wreak havoc with something, a large crashing noise echoing from the room behind him. Rhodey tried to keep his expression from revealing anything and Tony’s face fell, whatever he was thinking left unsaid.

He stayed suspiciously quiet the rest of the evening, stuck in his head, and Rhodey tried to push down the guilty feeling pooling in his stomach. He ordered in the barbeque ribs that Tony liked for dinner, hoping to make it up to him a little, and Tony at least joined him to eat, the two of them camping out in front of the television.

There was an old Star Trek rerun playing, and they watched in relative silence until halfway through the episode when Tony, apparently, just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just tell me his name!” he burst out.

Rhodey startled, so caught off guard that for a moment he couldn’t even parse what Tony was talking about. “Who??”

This seemed to bother Tony even more; he huffed and folded his arms over his chest. “Your boyfriend! The ‘guy from your lab’ that you’ve been seeing. The dude you were fooling around with in the office earlier. Honestly, Rhodes, we’re supposed to be best friends. It’s getting a little weird that you haven’t even introduced us.”

“Oh. Uh…” Taken aback, Rhodey scrambled for any kind of explanation. “It’s not… I mean… There’s not really any introductions to make. It’s nothing, really. It’s not… Like that.”

Tony stared back at him for a long moment, squirming like he wanted to say something else, but all he did was lean back into the couch cushions again, arms still folded across his chest. “Right. Okay.”

Rhodey didn’t know why Tony would be so invested in meeting his supposed hookup, even if he actually had one, but bringing it up didn’t seem like that best plan either. He wanted to get Tony as far away from subjects that could circle back to the groundhog residing in their apartment as possible.

The thing was, Rhodey was a mission oriented kind of person. He could compartmentalize, focus on one thing at a time. And he became All. About. The groundhog. (Because, if he was truly honest with himself, focusing on Tony Jr. meant he didn’t have to think about how desperately in love with Tony he was, how his feelings were only getting stronger every day despite knowing there was no chance in hell of them being reciprocated.) So it was easy to put it aside when Tony started acting… Quirkier than usual, to tell himself that it was nothing, just Tony going through a phase.

He started to worry a little, when on the nights that it was Tony’s turn to cook, he started making (or ordering) food for one. The first time he figured was a one off -- he’d had a late appointment with one of his profs, and then a meeting with a project group, so he’d given Tony a heads up that he might not be back until late. He probably just hadn’t known when to expect him. And Tony’d never been great at figuring out portion sizes anyway, always cooking either far too much or not nearly enough. It wasn’t a big deal; Tony always bought too many groceries too (although Rhodey had a feeling that was slightly less accidental), so it wasn’t too difficult for him to scrounge up a late meal for himself.

But then it happened again. And again. And again after that.

After the fourth time in a week, Rhodey was feeling panicked. Maybe Tony had heard the scratching or the little squeaking noises that Tony Jr. made sometimes, and thought they had rats or squirrels or something. Maybe he was trying to avoid leftovers, so he didn’t encourage them. He was hesitant about asking Tony about it; if that was what he thought, he wasn’t sure it was the best idea to draw further attention to it, in case Tony started to wonder why those noises only ever seemed to come from Rhodey’s suddenly locked office or something. Rhodey never been one for avoiding, though, and he couldn’t fix it if he didn’t know what was happening.

But when he finally asked him about the lack of dinner, mentioning it as casually as he could manage, Tony just gave the wall over Rhodey’s shoulder a very pointed look. “Oh sorry,” he told him, a forced, off-hand tone to his voice. “I just didn’t know if you’d be around to have dinner here. You know, with your active social life.”

“Uh…” Rhodey scratched at the back of his head; Tony clearly had his knickers in a twist over something, but he was fucked if he knew what. He hadn’t mentioned the groundhog at least, so he probably hadn’t found that out. Maybe he’d had another hiccup with the robot he’d been working on for the last few months. “Sure man. Active social life, right.” He considered asking, but honestly the last few weeks had him exhausted and if it was anything serious, he knew Tony would end up telling him eventually. He wasn’t great at keeping things to himself.

And sure enough, a couple days later, Tony seemed more or less back to himself. He’d locked himself in his room for all of Friday night, while Rhodey had holed up in the office with Tony Jr., blasting Star Wars at high volume as his rodent friend tore around the room, chasing the tennis ball that Rhodey had picked up for him.

Presumably Tony had solved whatever coding issue had had him all wound up in the meantime, because when Rhodey got up on Saturday morning, he met him with a triple batch of pancakes (only a few of them burned) and a sheepish smile. They didn’t talk about it -- they never did -- but Tony made a point of being extra nice, letting Rhodey take the syrup first and grabbing him the juice when he moved to get it from the fridge. Rhodey just beamed back at him and some of the guilt evaporated from Tony’s face.

They talked about nothing for awhile, just normal, mindless Saturday morning stuff until Tony cleared his throat and shifted a little. Rhodey arched an eyebrow, watching him expectantly.

“Uh, you know… I heard you watching Star Wars last night. We could all watch a few movies together, if you wanted? I’ve had my shots, Rhodey, I promise.”

Rhodey felt his eyes go wide, knew that panic was written all over his face. His shots? Was Tony talking about rabies? Did he know? “I…” He croaked out the word, trying to figure out what to say next, but almost immediately Tony seemed to reconsider, his face falling a little.

“Unless you guys are like… Doing stuff. You know, while the movie, and… Okay, never mind.” He cleared his throat again, awkward now, and took his empty plate to dump in the sink.

Rhodey blinked at him, head spinning from the whirlwind that had just occurred. “Who’s we?” He was pretty sure they were talking about two completely different things.

Tony just rolled his eyes. “Haha,” he drawled, “You’re hilarious.”

And before Rhodey could tell him that he hadn’t actually been joking, Tony was heading back down the hall for his bedroom and leaving him even more confused in his wake.

***

They continued on like this, Tony running hot and cold -- but definitely veering into cold territory more often than not -- as Rhodey threw himself harder into caring for Tony Jr. in turn. Mostly that went okay, but Tony Jr. would go through phases where he was just the worst (not, Rhodey supposed, unlike his namesake). Which was how he ended up spilling an entire can of soda on himself one evening when Rhodey was just trying to hang out and watch a movie with him. Rhodey sighed hard, staring back at Tony Jr. as he blinked up at him with the sugary drink dripping from his snout, startled into stillness.

“Come on, man,” Rhodey protested. “You’re not helping me out here at all.”

Tony Jr. just made a soft little chuck-chuck sound, something that Rhodey thought sounded almost apologetic, and he couldn’t help grinning a little.

“Alright, you twerp,” he sighed, picking him up. Tony was at the lab again, so Rhodey didn’t hesitate to take him into the bathroom. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Tony Jr. waited patiently as Rhodey filled the tub, checking to make sure the water wasn’t too hot or too cold. He was a little nervous putting Tony Jr. in the tub, in case he lost his shit entirely and went feral, but he actually seemed to enjoy it, making happy little chittering noises and wriggling around as he settled into the warm water. Rhodey hadn’t wanted to add soap, worried it would disrupt a groundhog’s delicate little ph balance or something, but rinsing him off with fresh water seemed to do the trick just as well. Tony Jr. splashed around happily, and Rhodey found the entire experience surprisingly pleasant, laughing and talking away to the little guy as he got him all clean.

He hadn’t heard the front door opening, too distracted with what he was doing, but he definitely heard the sharp, sudden knock on the bathroom door. Tony Jr. chirped but before Rhodey could respond, Tony was flinging the door wide open.

“Okay asshole,” he announced without preamble. “I get that you’ve found the love of your life, and that he’s a million times better than me, and you’re a week away from leaving me forever because you’d never fall for me, but this is still a communal space and I would appreciate it if I could shower in a space that doesn’t contain a stranger’s come.”

And then, as Rhodey was still trying to process what the fuck had just happened, Tony stopped and looked around the bathroom. Breathing hard, he took in Rhodey, crouched shirtless on the bathmat, and the full bathtub containing Tony Jr.

“This… Is not what I was expecting,” he admitted. “Is that a groundhog?”

“Yes it is,” Rhodey replied without hesitation. “But I’m a lot more interested in what the fuck you just said.”

“Oh, uh…” Tony was flustered now, all his bravado gone, and he edged toward the doorway. “I wasn’t, I mean. I didn’t… I wasn’t saying anything,” Tony finally managed to mumble out. “Just… Long day.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Rhodey told him dryly. And then, because there was no way he was letting it go at that, “What was that about me being a week away from leaving forever?”

Tony whined under his breath. “Do we have to do this now?” he grumbled, eyes dropping back to the groundhog, still splashing around in the bathtub. “You seem… Busy.”

And true, Rhodey probably had a lot to be embarrassed about here too. But Tony was shifting side to side in that way that meant he was feeling especially awkward, and so Rhodey called his bluff.

“You explain what on earth you’re talking about,” he told him, folding his arms across his chest. “And I’ll explain, uh… This.”

Tony huffed again, unconsciously mirroring Rhodey as he crossed his own arms. Hunching his shoulders up around his ears, he settled his gaze somewhere above Rhodey’s head. “I just… You’ve been so busy lately, with your new guy or whatever. And he’s here all the time, and I hear you laughing and you sound like you’re having such a great time and it's not like jealous, I’m just -- okay, I am jealous. I fucking love you, you asshole. And I’ve missed you the past few weeks, and I never see you, and I know we’ve both dated before but you won’t even tell me about this guy, and… I don’t know. It just felt like this time it was maybe something more serious. And I know it’s not like you were ever going to get that kind of serious with me but I just… I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

Rhodey blinked at him, feeling a little like he was going to pass out.

And the rest of what Tony had said caught up to him. “My guy?” he repeated, wondering what on earth Tony meant. And then Tony Jr. splashed the water, catching Rhodey’s attention. He looked over at him, back at Tony, over to Tony Jr. again, and his eyes went. “Oh,” he breathed, catching on. “Oh.”

And then he couldn’t help it -- he started to laugh.

“Okay, seriously?” Tony burst out, staring incredulously at Rhodey, apparently over his inability to look directly at him. “Seriously ?” He grabbed a spare roll of toilet paper, throwing it at the other man who was bent in half on the bathmat, laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. Tony Jr. chittered angrily at him. “I can’t believe I even like you. I just confessed my love and you’re fucking laughing at me.” He threw another roll of toilet paper at him for good measure. “You’re such an asshole.”

Rhodey shook his head, still choking on his laughter. “I’m not… I’m not laughing at you.” He cleared his throat, beaming up at him. “You’re in love with me?”

“I’m…” Tony shook his head, sliding back into a mumble. “Don’t make fun of me, man.”

“I’m not,” Rhodey promised, getting to his feet and moving toward him. “I swear I’m not. Tony, the ‘guy’ I’ve been seeing? Is the fucking groundhog.”

Tony wrinkled his nose, looking adorably confused. “What?”

Rhodey just sighed. “I’m saying, I don’t have a boyfriend, doofus. You’re the only guy in my life. And, uh…” He stepped closer still, catching Tony’s hands to unfold them from his chest. “I’d kind of like it to stay that way.”

Tony squirmed a little, a pleased smile crossing his features. “You would?”

“Yep.” He nodded, running his thumb over Tony’s palm. “We seem to suck at the communication thing, so let me be very clear here. I’ve been embarrassingly in love with you for an embarrassingly long time. Forget asking you out. Tony, I want you to be my boyfriend. Are we on the same page?”

Tony gave an adorable little giggle, and then he was standing on tiptoes, giving Rhodey a soft, sweet kiss on the lips. Rhodey let him, for a moment, and then he was looping an arm around Tony’s waist, pulling him up tight against his bare chest and kissing him properly. Tony made a startled little sound before he melted into it, giving just as good as he got.

They kept kissing until there was another splash behind them, Tony Jr. chittering in annoyance at being ignored.

“Ah, right.” Still grinning like a goofball, Tony leaned back and arched his eyebrows at Rhodey. “I think you said something about an explanation for the groundhog in our bathtub?”

“Yup,” Rhodey agreed, stepping away first to take a towel and scoop Tony Jr. out of the tub. Tony watched in bemusement as the groundhog snuggled right into Rhodey, the other man slipping past him to take him back to office. “Just let get him resettled first. I don’t want Tony Jr. to catch a cold.”

Tony nodded in understanding, then frowned as he watched Rhodey carry him down the hall. “Wait,” he called after him. “Tony Jr.? Rhodes, did you name your groundhog after me??”

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#ironhusbandsbigbang2020 #james rhodes #tony stark #ironhusbands #mit era #shenanigans #pre-relationship #getting together #idiots in love #fluff and humor #happy ending #fic #my fic

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