#like they dropped off the face of the earth

[pucksandpower]

Wagification

Max Verstappen x analyst!Reader

Summary: your job was slowly crushing your soul and stealing your sanity … until Max showed you the pleasure to be found in letting yourself be cherished and cared for (or in which a chronically overworked Sky Sports analyst becomes a WAG)

Monaco Grand Prix, 2025

You take a deep breath as you step out of the car, the Monaco sunshine bright and warm on your face. Max comes around and takes your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You ready for this?” He asks, his eyes searching yours.

You nod, though your stomach is fluttering with nerves. It’s been nearly a year since you were last at a Grand Prix, and so much has changed. You glance down at the massive diamond on your left hand, still not quite used to seeing it there.

Max kisses your temple. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”

Hand-in-hand, you make your way into the paddock. Immediately you’re assaulted by the familiar sights and sounds — mechanics yelling, engines revving, reporters gesturing to their cameras. It’s like you never left.

You keep your sunglasses on and your head down, hoping to avoid notice. The last thing you want is to be bombarded by your old coworkers. As a data analyst for Sky Sports F1, you knew everyone in the paddock. But you walked away from it all for Max and you aren’t sure what kind of reception awaits you now.

“Max! Max Verstappen!” You hear a female voice call out. You suppress a groan as you recognize it as belonging to Emma, one of the network’s top reporters. She hurries over, dictaphone in hand. “Max, can I get a quick interview for the pre-race show?”

“Sure,” Max says easily. He keeps holding your hand, drawing you forward. “Just make it quick, yeah?”

Emma nods, then seems to notice you for the first time. “I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I’m Emma Walsh, with Sky Sports.” She sticks her hand out with a friendly smile.

You hesitate a second before shaking her hand. “Y/N,” you say simply, not offering your last name.

Emma’s eyes widen behind her glasses and she leans in for a closer look. “Wait a minute, I know you ...” Her jaw drops open. “Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?”

You give a little shrug. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh my god!” Emma practically shouts. “I can’t believe it! We all thought you fell off the face of the earth after you left Sky. What happened to you?”

Max slides an arm around your waist. “She fell for me,” he says with a grin.

Emma’s eyes bug out even more as she takes in your designer dress, heels, and rock on your finger. “You mean … you and Max ...”

You nod, feeling yourself blush. “About a year ago, yeah.”

“Wow.” Emma shakes her head in disbelief. “Just … wow. I mean, look at you! You look incredible!”

You smooth your hands self-consciously over your dress. Your style has certainly changed since your Sky Sports days of sensible pantsuits. As an analyst, you had lived in jeans, flats, and minimal makeup, your hair always pulled back in a simple ponytail. Now your hair falls in soft waves over your shoulders, and you’re wearing a floaty floral maxi dress and strappy heels. You went from broadcasting racing stats to being a WAG almost overnight.

“Thanks,” you say, your cheeks growing even warmer. “It’s really good to see you, Emma.”

“You too!” She grins. “I have so many questions, but I better let you go for now. Don’t want to keep the championship leader waiting.” She winks at Max. “We’ll catch up later, yeah? Drinks tonight to celebrate your return?”

“Sure, sounds good.” You smile, thankful she’s not pressing for more details now. Emma waves and heads off in search of her next interview.

Max keeps his arm around you as you continue through the paddock. “See, that wasn’t so bad,” he murmurs.

You let out a shaky laugh. “One down, about a hundred more to go.”

Over the next hour you run into what feels like every person you used to work with. They all react with similar shock at the former paddock nerd turned glamorous girlfriend of the reigning four-time World Champion.

You chat briefly with Will, who stutters over his words and goes bright red when you say hello. He had the biggest crush on you back when you worked together. Sarah can’t stop gushing over your ring. Tom tells you how weird it is not to see you hunched over a laptop crunching numbers.

The encounters leave you feeling drained, but also relieved. Your old coworkers seem genuinely happy for you, not resentful like you had worried. They don’t pry too much into how exactly you went from reporting race stats to ending up with Max Verstappen. That’s a story for another time.

Eventually you make it to the Red Bull garage, where you let out a long breath. “Phew, I survived.”

Max grins and pulls you close. “You were amazing. And you look beautiful, as always.” He nuzzles your neck.

You smile and loop your arms around his shoulders. “Have I mentioned how happy I am whenever I’m with you?”

“Mmm, maybe once or twice.” Max kisses you softly. “But feel free to keep reminding me.”

“Ahem.” Christian Horner clears his throat from behind you. “If you two can pause the PDA for a moment, we have a race to focus on.”

You spring apart, blushing furiously at being caught by Max’s team principal. Max just laughs and slings an arm around your shoulders.

“Lighten up, Christian. I’m allowed to kiss my fiancée.”

Christian shakes his head, but he’s fighting a smile. “Indeed you are. But perhaps when there aren’t cameras around?” He nods over your shoulder.

You turn to see several photographers zooming in, no doubt dying to get shots of the paddock’s newest it couple. You bury your face in Max’s shoulder.

“Ugh, no privacy anywhere,” you grumble.

Max kisses your hair. “It’s not so bad. Just part of the deal when you’re with me, remember?”

You smile up at him. “Very true. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

The day passes in a blur of activity. Max has various sponsor obligations and media commitments. You stick close by his side, learning how to avoid the cameras and deflect the constant questions about your relationship. Being the center of attention still feels strange, but you’re getting better at handling it.

During Max’s autograph session, you chat with some of the other drivers’ girlfriends and wives. They give you tips on dealing with the madness. You’re touched by how kind and welcoming they are.

“It takes some getting used to,” Alex Albon’s girlfriend, Lily, says. “But once you figure out how to focus on what really matters, the rest just becomes background noise.”

You nod. Your priority is Max. Everything else is just part of the ride.

***

One Year Ago

You sink down onto a stack of tires behind the Red Bull motorhome, finally letting the tears fall. This weekend in Barcelona has been a nightmare so far. Your team at Sky Sports is chronically understaffed, so you’ve been working 18 hour days analyzing data and prepping stats graphics.

You’re exhausted, frustrated, and seriously questioning your career choices.

On top of that, you just found out that your coworker and boyfriend Jamie has been cheating on you for months with one of the new junior reporters. You feel like such an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

You just need a few minutes to yourself to cry it out before plastering a smile back on and soldiering through the rest of the weekend. You hear footsteps approaching and quickly dab at your eyes with your sleeve, but it’s too late.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to ...” The voice trails off awkwardly.

You glance up to see none other than Max Verstappen standing there, a look of concern on his face. Great. The last thing you need is Formula 1’s wunderkind catching you bawling behind the motorhome.

You scramble to your feet, trying to compose yourself. “Um, hi. No worries, I was just ...” You trail off, at a loss for how to explain.

Max steps closer, head tilted. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

His kindness makes the tears threaten again. You stare down at your scuffed sneakers, embarrassed.

“I’m fine, really. Just had a bad day. You know how it goes.” You force a weak laugh.

Max doesn’t seem convinced. “Here, come sit for a minute,” he says gently, guiding you back over to the stack of tires.

To your surprise, he sits down next to you in his designer jeans and Red Bull Racing hoodie like it’s no big deal. You would laugh if you weren’t still fighting more tears.

“I’m Max, by the way.” He smiles and holds out his hand.

You shake it weakly. “Yeah, I know. I mean, uh, I’m Y/N.” You blush. Smooth.

Max either doesn’t notice or is too polite to comment. “So Y/N, what has you so upset? Boyfriend troubles?” He raises an eyebrow knowingly.

You let out a watery chuckle. “Yeah, something like that. The idiot’s been cheating on me it turns out.” Saying it out loud makes the hurt swell back up.

Max shakes his head angrily. “What a dick. I don’t understand guys who treat girls like that. You deserve so much better, Y/N.”

The genuine outrage on your behalf makes you smile a bit through the tears. “Thanks, Max. I appreciate that.”

He nods. “Any guy would be lucky to have a girl as pretty and smart as you. This loser doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

Now you really can’t help blushing. You’re used to being called a lot of things — nerdy, awkward, obsessive about stats — but no one’s ever called you pretty before. Especially not a kind, cute, and famous race car driver.

You dip your head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear self-consciously. “You’re very sweet to say that.”

Max bumps your shoulder with his. “Just calling it like I see it.”

You chat for a few more minutes about nothing in particular. Max is easy to talk to, and makes you laugh with funny stories about mishaps in the garage. By the time you hear your boss calling your name, you’ve almost forgotten about Jamie and your tear-stained face.

“Shit, I have to get back to work,” you say, standing quickly and grabbing your laptop bag. “Thanks for listening, Max. I really appreciate you taking the time.”

“Of course.” Max stands too, shoving his hands in his pockets. He seems reluctant to end the conversation. “Hey, maybe I’ll see you around again this weekend?”

You give him a curious look, wondering why he’d want to see you again after witnessing that mess of emotions. But he looks sincere. “Yeah, maybe! I’m around if you need any stats analysis or data work.” You tap your temple. “Numbers nerd, at your service.”

Max grins. “Good to know. Take care, Y/N.” With a little wave, he heads off, leaving you staring after him in surprise.

The rest of the day you keep replaying those moments with Max in your head, unable to focus. Why did he seem so interested in a frumpy data analyst having a meltdown? You can’t make sense of it.

By the time qualifying ends on Saturday, you’re practically dead on your feet. Your eyelids keep drooping as you pack up your equipment. Maybe you’ll just sleep under your desk tonight instead of walking all the way to the hotel.

“Long day, huh?”

You jerk awake to see Max leaning in the doorway of your makeshift office, thumbs hooked in his pockets. He looks annoyingly energetic and put together compared to your disheveled state.

“Uh, yeah.” You smooth your hair back,feeling self-conscious. Why does he have to catch you looking like such a mess yet again? “Just have about a million graphics to finish before tomorrow’s broadcast. The glamorous life of a data analyst,” you say wryly.

Max frowns. “They keep you here this late doing all the work yourself?”

You sigh, rubbing your grainy eyes beneath your glasses. “Unfortunately yes. We’re way understaffed, but it’s not like they’ll give us more budget to hire help.”

Max shakes his head. “That’s unacceptable. You deserve so much better than this.”

The kindness in his voice makes you suddenly emotional again. You bite your lip, willing yourself not to tear up at work twice in one day.

“Thanks, Max. I’ll be okay though, once I get some sleep ...” You know you don’t sound convincing.

Max appears to think for a moment, his brow furrowed. “You know what, enough of this. Come on.”

Before you can react, he takes your hand and gently tugs you to your feet.

“W-what? Where are we going?” You stammer, heartbeat quickening.

“We’re getting out of here. You’re clearly exhausted and need a break.” Max keeps hold of your hand as he leads you from the office.

“But-but my work … I have to finish-” Even as you protest, you let him continue pulling you along. A rebellious part of you is thrilled at this sudden adventure.

“It can wait. Right now, we’re getting some food and drinks in you so you actually have energy left for tomorrow.” Max winks at you as you exit the paddock into the cool night air. “Trust me.”

And despite barely knowing this man, you realize you do trust him. Max guides you around the corner to a lively tapas bar, chatting all the while about random topics to make you laugh. He seems genuinely interested in getting to know you.

Over shared plates of patatas bravas and fizzy cocktails, you find yourself opening up to Max in a way you never do with people you just met. But his kindness and openness make you feel comfortable. He tells you more about life as an F1 driver, the pressures and perks.

“It must be amazing getting to travel all over the world racing cars,” you muse after your second cocktail. “Like a dream.”

“Part of it is, yeah.” Max smiles wryly. “But it can also be lonely. Never really putting down roots anywhere. Hard to meet people outside the racing bubble, you know?”

You nod thoughtfully. Under the playboy racer exterior, it seems there’s a down-to-earth guy who just wants connection. On impulse, you cover his hand with yours and give it a squeeze.

“Well, you’ve got a friend here now if you ever need company at a race.”

Max turns his palm over to link his fingers through yours. “I was hoping you’d say that.” His smile is so warm and genuine, you feel your cheeks heat.

By the time you stumble back to your hotel, you’re laughing and chatting with Max like old friends. When you get to your door though, you blink blearily and sway on your feet — the long day and alcohol hitting you hard.

Max steadies you with a hand on your waist. “Whoa there. You gonna make it okay?”

You wave a hand drunkenly. “Oh yeah, totally fiiiine ...” Your balance wavers again. Okay, maybe not so fine.

Max bites his lip, seeming to have an internal debate. “Alright, slight change of plans. You’re in no state to be left alone right now.”

In one smooth motion he scoops you up bridal-style. You make a very dignified squeaking noise and clutch his shoulders.

“Max! What are you doing?”

“Making sure you’re safe for the night.” He grins down at you. “You can stay in my suite where I can keep an eye on you.”

“But … people will think ...” Even tipsy, you know spending the night in Max Verstappen’s hotel room is probably a bad idea.

“Let them think whatever. I’m being a gentleman, I promise.” The sincerity in his eyes melts your feeble protests. You really are in no state to be left alone.

You sigh and rest your head on his shoulder. “Okay fine, you win. But just for tonight!”

Max chuckles, carrying you towards the elevator. “Deal. We’ll get you sobered up and rested for tomorrow.”

You have vague impressions of a plush suite, being tucked into cool satin sheets and handed water and pills for your headache. Max brushes hair off your face with a lingering touch. “Get some sleep, Y/N. I’m right next door if you need me.”

His kindness brings tears to your eyes again, but happy ones this time. As you drift off surrounded by his scent, you think dazedly that maybe this race weekend hasn’t been so terrible after all.

In the morning, waking up in Max Verstappen’s hotel bed, you at first think it was all some crazy dream. Then the smell of brewing coffee draws you out to the living room, where Max stands in the kitchenette.

“Morning! I ordered us some breakfast.” He hands you a mug, smiling softly.

Daylight streaming through the windows makes last night’s events seem even more surreal. You feel suddenly shy as memories return. A part of you wishes you could stay here in this peaceful bubble with him forever, away from the outside world.

But reality calls, as you both have jobs to return to. Max convinces you to eat some food and take more pain meds before he walks you back to your own room to shower and change.

At your door he pulls you into a gentle hug. “Take care of yourself today, okay Y/N? And if you need another break or company again, you know where to find me.” He presses a featherlight kiss to your forehead that sends tingles through your entire body.

Somehow you make it through the day fueled by Max’s kindness and the smallest hope this could lead to more. You catch sight of him striding through the paddock, fans clamoring for his attention. His eyes always seem to find you though, lighting up with that warm smile.

After the race, you’re back in your makeshift office trying not to fall asleep at your desk before the last minutes of broadcasts. When you walk outside into the golden hour sunset though, Max is waiting for you.

“So, ready for round two at the tapas place to celebrate my win?” He bumps your shoulder playfully.

You grin up at him, this beautiful boy who inexplicably wants to spend all his free moments with you. “Definitely. Bring on the croquetas.”

Laughing together, you start making your way there. And though you don’t know what this budding connection will lead to, you’re ready to find out.

***

Nine Months Ago

You snuggle deeper into Max’s arms with a contented sigh, resting your head on his chest. The lights are dim and music plays softly in the background of his hotel suite. Rain patters against the windows, making it the perfect night to get cozy indoors.

Being wrapped up with Max like this, away from the chaos of the race weekend, has become your favorite place to be over the past few months. After that impulsive first night in Barcelona when he took care of you, you started spending more and more time together.

What began as a supportive friendship soon turned into dates, kisses, and eventually becoming official boyfriend and girlfriend. You still can’t believe that Max Verstappen, Formula 1 superstar, wants to be with a plain data analyst like yourself. But from the way he looks at you — like you’re the most captivating person in the world — you don’t doubt his sincerity.

“Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?” Max murmurs, trailing his fingers slowly up and down your arm.

You smile and nuzzle his neck. “Mmm, I think you mentioned it once or twice.”

His hands drift up to stroke your hair and you practically purr, eyes drifting shut. Max kisses the top of your head. “I mean it though, Y/N. Being with you makes me so happy.”

You lift your head to meet his lips in a soft kiss. “You make me happy too, Max. I-” You cut off with an enormous yawn that you fail to stifle in time.

Max chuckles. “Am I boring you over here?”

“No no,” you insist around another yawn. “I just can’t seem to keep my eyes open tonight.”

It’s true. As blissful as you feel cuddled up with Max, you’re utterly exhausted. This weekend has been nonstop work with little sleep. By the time you wrapped the Sky broadcasts up for the night, you could barely see straight.

Max brushes a strand of hair back from your face, his expression growing serious. “You’re completely worn out, schatje. I hate seeing you push yourself to the breaking point like this.”

You give him a tired smile. “It’s okay, really. I’m used to the long hours by now. Occupational hazard.” It comes out less convincingly than you intended.

Max’s frown deepens. He shifts around to face you, cradling your cheek in his palm. “But you shouldn’t have to be used to it, Y/N. Your bosses take advantage of your dedication. It’s not right.”

You bite your lip, not meeting his earnest gaze. Deep down you know he’s correct, but you don’t know what else to do. This career has been your life for years now.

Max gently turns your face back to his. “You deserve so much better. You keep giving everything to this job and they just keep demanding more. When’s the last time you took a real break?”

You look down, feeling the prickle of tears. You can’t even remember your last vacation or rest day. “It’s okay, really ...” you whisper half-heartedly.

“No, it’s not.” Max’s voice is firm but caring. He tips your chin up to meet his eyes. “I can’t stand seeing you being taken advantage of. It makes me want to take care of you properly, the way you should be.”

Your breath catches at the intensity in his gaze. Being taken care of and cherished so deeply is new for you. You don’t know how to respond.

Max seems to take your silence as uncertainty. “Just think about it, liefje. You could finally put yourself first and do what makes you happy instead of what makes Sky Sports happy.” He caresses your cheek with his thumb. “Doesn’t a break to rest and recover sound nice?”

You close your eyes with a shaky exhale, admitting to yourself just how badly you need it. Your health and mental wellbeing have been steadily declining under the relentless stress.

“It really does sound nice,” you whisper. A few tears leak out beneath your lashes.

Max kisses them away tenderly, holding you close. “Shh I know, baby. You’re burning yourself out trying to do the impossible. Anyone would be exhausted.”

You cling to him, sniffling. “But it’s my job, my career. I can’t just walk away ...” Even as you say it, the prospect doesn’t seem as scary as it once did. Not if you get to have this, being wrapped in Max’s love and care.

“You can walk away from anything that’s making you suffer. You’re so much more than this job. And you’ll never have to worry or want for anything ever again.” His tone drips with promise.

You lean back to search his face. “What do you mean?”

Max smiles and brushes his nose against yours. “I mean, I’ll take care of you. If you leave your job to focus on yourself and our relationship, you will want for nothing. I’ll make sure of it.”

Your eyes go wide. “You mean … quit working altogether and just … be with you full time?”

Max nods, still smiling. “It can be that simple if you want. No more crazy hours and stress. Just let me spoil you and give you the life you deserve. What do you say?”

Your pulse races as you imagine it. No more coming home at 2 am and collapsing, living off vending machine snacks. Instead you could be leisurely mornings with Max, seeing the world together, doing activities you actually enjoy instead of endless stats analysis ...

It sounds idyllic. But could you really just stop working and let Max support you? Would people judge you for it?

As if reading your mind, Max says “Ignore whatever anyone else might think. This is about what’s right for you and makes you happy. I’m sure of this, Y/N. Please trust me.”

His eyes radiate so much love and certainty. Slowly you nod, feeling a weight lift from your chest.

“Okay,” you whisper. “If you’re sure then … I trust you, Max.”

Joy spreads across his face. He kisses you deeply, pouring all his feelings into it. When he finally pulls back you’re both breathless.

“You won’t regret this, schatje. I’m going to take such good care of you from now on.” Max strokes your hair, eyes shining. “No more exhaustion and stress. Just being together and enjoying life. It will be amazing.”

You truly believe it as you drift off, safe in his arms. No more pressure to single-handedly carry Sky Sports’ data analysis. From now on, you can just be his … and find yourself again.

The next day you take a deep breath and knock on your boss’ door. Within minutes, you’ve quit your job and ended a years long chapter. It feels bittersweet but right as you box up your belongings from your little makeshift office. This time when tears prick your eyes, they’re from overwhelming relief.

Max is waiting to pick you up, greeting you with a spinning hug and long kiss. “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to be so much happier and healthier from now on, I just know it.”

You hug him tight, burying your face in his neck. “I already feel lighter. This was the right choice.”

And it truly is. As you jet off to a tropical island just the two of you that weekend, it feels like a new life.

The days pass in a dreamy haze — sleeping in, long massages, breakfast in bed courtesy of Max, sunset walks on the beach holding hands. He delights in pampering you with gifts, gourmet meals, and your every whim met often before you even speak it.

“I could get used to this,” you sigh contentedly as you lounge together in a cabana, sipping fruity cocktails.

Max smiles and nuzzles your neck. “That’s the idea. You’ll never lift a finger except when you want to from now on.”

It amazes you how he transforms from fierce competitor on the track to this caring, protective boyfriend behind closed doors. He seems to find his greatest happiness in making sure you’re thoroughly spoiled.

You do occasionally think of the drastic shift your life has taken. But any flicker of doubt is erased by Max’s love and devotion. He’s given you freedom from exhaustion and anxiety. You’ve never felt more adored.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you whisper one night as you sway together on the balcony under the stars, your silk robe fluttering around you.

Max gazes at you like you hold the secrets of the universe. “You just had to be yourself, schatje. That’s all I’ll ever need.”

He takes your breath away with slow, passionate kisses until you meltingly agree to take things inside. Your first time together is everything you imagined and more.

Afterwards, lying entwined with Max stroking your hair, you have never felt more whole. You found in each other what you needed most — care, understanding, and unwavering love.

This blissful new life together has only just begun.

***

A Few Hours Ago

You hum to yourself as you flip through the designer outfits in your massive walk-in closet, selecting options for the upcoming race. This will be your first time attending a Grand Prix on Max’s arm and you want to look perfect.

As you sift through rows of Chanel, Dior, Valentino, and Prada, you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap around your waist.

“Need any help choosing?” Max asks, nuzzling your neck.

You lean back into him with a smile. “I was just trying to narrow it down. I want to look nice for your big weekend.”

Max turns you in his arms, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. “Schatje, you could show up in sweatpants and you’d still be the most beautiful woman there.”

You scrunch your nose. “But it’s Monaco! I need to look at least semi put-together.”

“It’s impossible for you to look anything but,” Max declares, stealing a quick kiss. “You always look perfect to me.”

You swat his chest but can’t help grinning. His constant compliments and admiration still give you flutters even after months together.

Taking your hand, Max comes to stand before the endless clothing options. “Okay, let’s see what we’re working with here.”

You pull out two of your favorites: a sleek black Balmain jumpsuit with a deep neckline and waist cutouts, and a shimmering floral Givenchy maxi dress.

“Ooh, these are both amazing,” Max says, fingering the luxe fabrics. “That jumpsuit would show off your sexy legs, but this fabric is so pretty with your skin tone ...”

You chew your bottom lip thoughtfully. “I’m torn too. What’s your vote?”

Max pretends to scrutinize them closely before breaking into a smile. “Well you know I love you in anything. Or nothing,” he adds with a wink.

You roll your eyes and swat him with a hanger. “Behave! I need actual fashion advice please.”

“Okay okay.” Max puts on an exaggerated serious expression. “The Givenchy dress is very classy and princess-like. But I love the way this Balmain hugs your curves.” To demonstrate, he traces a hand along the waist and down your side.

You shiver pleasantly at his touch. “Mmm, good point ...”

Max leans in close behind you, hands resting on your hips. “Imagine me peeling it off of you after my win.” He presses a kiss below your ear.

You melt back into him, tilting your head to give him better access to your neck. “Well when you put it that way ...”

“The dress would be pretty easy access too though.” Max slides his hands under the fabric across your thighs teasingly.

You gasp and swat him away again, laughing. “Okay stop distracting me! I really do need to pick.”

Max relents with a grin, holding up his hands in surrender. “Alright, you win. I officially vote for the dress. It’s sexy yet elegant, just like you.”

You smile and give him a peck on the lips. “Now, what about bags and shoes?”

You move through your endless options as Max offers his input. He has a surprising eye for fashion despite his own relaxed, sporty style.

“This one matches the best.” He selects a sleek black crocodile Birkin. “Classy and understated.”

You turn the bag over in your hands. “Ooh I forgot I had this one. Good call!”

After picking strappy heels to complete the look, you start browsing your jewelry selection.

“That’s a lot of shiny stuff,” Max remarks, eyes roving over the boxes of diamonds, emeralds, sapphires and more.

You arch an eyebrow. “Says the one who got carried away with the jewelry purchases ...”

Max just grins and pulls you close. “I want you to have it all. You deserve to be spoiled.” He captures your lips in a sweet kiss.

You hum happily against his mouth before pulling back. “Will you help me pick something?”

“Hmm let’s see ...” Max peruses the options before selecting an elegant diamond necklace. “Yeah, this one is perfect. Really complements the dress.”

He fastens it carefully around your neck, meeting your eyes in the mirror with a smile. His gaze trails down your body as you model the full outfit together.

“You look absolutely incredible, liefje. Every man in Monaco will be drooling over you.”

You turn to wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Well I only care about impressing one man.” You kiss the tip of his nose.

Max’s hands find your waist again, warm on your exposed skin. “Oh trust me, I am very impressed. And the second we’re alone after the race this outfit will be on the floor.”

You laugh as he nuzzles into your neck, nipping lightly. Somehow, you manage to fall more in love with Max every day.

You eventually disentangle, needing to actually get ready for the day ahead.

“What should I wear in the meantime?” You muse, fingers drifting over the designer options.

Before you can choose, Max comes up behind you and starts guiding a silk robe onto your shoulders.

“How about nothing at all? I’m enjoying this view already,” he murmurs against your skin as he wraps the sash loosely around your waist.

You lean back into him with a hum of pleasure. “Well if you insist ...”

Max takes your hand and leads you to the bed, laying you back against the pillows. He undoes the robe just enough to expose your body as he trails kisses everywhere. “Mmm yes, this is much better than any outfit.”

You run your fingers through his hair, arching into his touch. “What happened to getting ready for the race?” You breathe.

Max pauses his kisses just below your navel to flash a wicked grin up at you. “Race day can wait for a few more minutes. Right now I want to appreciate my gorgeous girl.”

You have zero arguments with that logic. With a happy sigh, you surrender to his skilled and eager mouth, letting all other concerns fade away. Everything else will have its turn — being worshiped by Max is the only thing on your schedule this morning.

Eventually though, you manage to dress and make your way to the circuit. As you ride through the streets together on the way, Max keeps an arm curled tightly around you.

“You know, despite the fancy clothes and jewelry, you’re still the same humble, kind-hearted woman I fell for,” Max says, kissing your temple. “All that other stuff just enhances your inner beauty.”

You smile and squeeze his hand as you lift your lips to meet his. “You always know just what to say.”

You keep your chin up and shoulders back as you step onto the harborside track that will soon be swarming with VIPs. With Max by your side, you have everything you need — now and always.

***

Monaco Grand Prix, 2025

The cheers of the crowd echo in your ears as you watch Max pass the chequered flag, securing his win. Your heart swells with pride and love as he pulls the car over to parc fermé and hops out, immediately searching for you on the other side of the barriers.

The second his eyes land on yours, his face lights up with that smile that melts you every time. He’s barely stepped out of the car before you launch yourself into his arms.

“You did it! I’m so proud of you,” you breathlessly exclaim.

Max laughs and pulls you closer. “I’m just happy to win it for you, liefje.”

Still holding you against his chest, he claims your mouth in a fierce celebratory kiss as the team and cameras swarm around. Your world narrows to just the feeling of his lips on yours, his race suit damp with sweat under your palms.

When you finally break for air, foreheads touching, Max murmurs “I love you so much. This one was for you.”

Your answering smile feels brighter than the Monaco sunshine. “I love you too. You were incredible today.”

The podium ceremony and interviews pass in a euphoric blur. Max keeps you tucked close to his side whenever he can, his arm firmly around your waist. He only has eyes for you despite the chaos surrounding him.

Finally escaping to the privacy of his driver’s room in the Red Bull motorhome, Max properly ravages you up against the door. The heady mix of victory and desire is intoxicating.

Much later, surrounded by empty champagne bottles with Max nuzzling lazy kisses across your bare shoulders, you hear a tentative knock.

“Decent?” Comes Emma’s teasing voice.

“Just a minute!” You call out, scrambling for your discarded dress.

Max pouts adorably as you wriggle back into it. “Do we have to go out? I’m enjoying having you all to myself ...”

You smile and kiss him sweetly. “Soon baby. But let’s celebrate with some friends first.”

Max sighs but nods, taking your hand as you go open the door. Emma’s eyebrows shoot up as she takes in your thoroughly debauched state, but she politely doesn’t comment.

“Y/N! There you are! Oh, and congrats on the win,” she says to Max before turning back to you. “We’re all heading to Jimmy’z for the afterparty. You have to come!”

You hesitate, glancing at Max. “Oh, actually we already have plans ...”

“Come on, it will be like old times! We can squeeze you both in, I’m sure,” Emma pleads. Your former colleagues are beckoned over — Tom, Will, Sarah, and others waving excitedly.

Their eager faces make you pause, but Max just chuckles and slides an arm around your waist. “No need for squeezing into crowded clubs. I’ve already reserved some VIP booths so we can party properly.” He winks down at you.

“Oh! Well in that case, we’ll see you there.” Emma looks impressed. The others chatter excitedly as they head off to get ready.

You grin up at Max, arms looped around his neck. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Only the best for you, beautiful.” He kisses you softly before you head off hand-in-hand.

After making yourselves presentable again, you set out into the Monaco night. The Circuit de Monaco is still abuzz with energy, music and laughter pouring from every corner.

The line outside Jimmy’z stretches far down the block. But the bouncer immediately waves you through with a respectful “Mr. Verstappen, this way please.”

You exchange a smile with Max, who keeps you tucked close against his side. It still feels surreal being ushered into exclusive areas that once intimidated you. Now it’s your glamorous new normal.

“Y/N, you made it!” Emma jumps up and hugs you tight. She eyes your designer outfit and perfectly styled hair. “Damn, look at you! Got that WAG glow going on.”

You smooth your hands self-consciously over your dress. “Oh, thanks! Just trying to look the part, I guess.”

You chat and laugh with Emma and your former coworkers as music pulses around you. When the Go-Go dancer comes by with a tray of sparklers, you impulsively grab two, popping one in your mouth and handing the other to a wide-eyed Emma.

She fumbles to light hers, watching as you tilt your head back and laugh, little sparks showering your face.

“Girl, you are wild tonight!” Emma has to shout over the music. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

You just smile and rummage through your Birkin for lipstick to touch up, crossing and uncrossing your legs that sport sky-high Louboutins. Your time working 18 hour days hunched over a laptop feels like another lifetime.

Eventually needing a break from the noise, you head to the bar to refresh your drink. Emma joins you, peering at the menu.

“Damn, I can’t even pronounce half this stuff,” she laughs. “What are you thinking of getting?”

You scan the options. “Mmm, maybe the Dom Pérignon Rosé? Sounds nice.”

Emma shakes her head in disbelief. “You really have gone full glam. I don’t think I ever saw you drink anything but Heineken at the track.”

You scoff, “Well we didn’t exactly have champagne on offer in our part of the paddock.”

You smile politely as the bartender brings your drink over. Emma is still eyeing you curiously.

“What?” You ask, laughing under her scrutiny.

“Nothing, just ...” She waves a hand at you. “Look at you with the designer outfit, Birkin bag, $500 drinks … you’re a whole new woman!”

You take a sip of the bubbly pink liquid and just smile. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No no, not at all!” Emma rushes to say. “You seem really happy. I’ve just never seen you like this before. You were always the practical, focused one. Now you look … fully embraced by the glitz.”

You lean against the bar, considering her words. She’s right — the old you never could’ve imagined fully embracing this lifestyle. But now you can’t imagine anything else.

“I am happier than I’ve ever been,” you tell her honestly. “With Max I’m free to enjoy life and not worry about anything. He takes care of it all.”

Emma raises her eyebrows. “So he just … pays for everything, and you live this champagne lifestyle together?”

You smile, fingering the enormous diamond on your left hand. “Basically, yes. And it’s as amazing as it sounds. I’ll never need to work or stress over bills or anything again.”

“Huh.” Emma takes a thoughtful sip of her own drink. “Don’t you ever miss the thrill of data crunching and racing strategy though?”

You consider it for a moment. The thought of long hours analyzing race stats and performance metrics makes your brain hurt.

“You know … I really don’t,” you realize. “I can barely even remember the programs and systems we used. And I like it that way.”

Emma nods slowly. You can tell she’s making an effort to be open-minded about your new life. Before she can respond, you feel the presence of someone behind you.

“There’s my beautiful girl,” Max murmurs, sliding his arms around your waist and nuzzling your neck. “This party is nowhere near as fun without you.”

You lean back into him happily. His passion and desire for you still give you the same flutters as that first night together in Barcelona. You doubt that will ever change.

Turning in his arms, you accept the kiss he gives you, not caring that Emma is still standing there. Let her see how crazy you are for each other.

When you pull back, Max smiles down at you like you’re the only person in the crowded club. “Dance with me?” He extends a hand, already gently pulling you towards the dancefloor.

You let him lead you away without a backwards glance. Emma can think what she wants, but she can’t possibly understand your relationship with Max. You know this is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Max hands you a fresh glass of champagne and keeps an arm curled around your waist as you sway together. The music and alcohol fill you with euphoria.

“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” Max murmurs in your ear, his breath hot on your skin.

You smile up at him coyly. “Feel free to keep reminding me.”

Max’s answering grin is sinful. His hands travel your body as you move together. “I plan to show you later just how irresistible I find you.”

The night flies by in a blur of dancing, drinks, and stolen kisses in the shadows with Max. Your former colleagues party into the early morning, but eventually stumble back to their hotels.

You and Max retreat back to your shared apartment just as dawn breaks over the horizon. As promised, your dress hits the floor immediately. He ravages you with hungry kisses, urging you higher and higher until you cry out his name again and again.

After, wrapped securely in his arms, you sigh in utter contentment. The smooth sheets feel divine against your skin and Max gently strokes your hair as you doze against his chest.

“So I take it you had fun?” He asks, a smile in his voice.

You lift your head to grin at him. “It was amazing. Although ...” You bite your lip coyly.

Max raises an eyebrow. “Although what, schatje?”

“Well, this part is still my favorite.” You punctuate your point by straddling his waist again, bending to kiss him deeply.

Max groans appreciatively against your mouth, hands grasping your hips. “Mmm mine too. In fact, I don’t think we’re done celebrating yet ...”

Your lips part in ecstasy and your nails rake down his back as he takes you right to the edge again and again. Finally collapsing in a tangle of sweaty limbs, you’re both completely spent and blissful. You curl into Max’s side, eyes drifting shut.

“I love you so much,” you murmur, the words slurring together.

Max kisses your hair, stroking your back. “I love you too, Y/N. Being with you is a dream.”

You slip into peaceful dreams still wrapped in each other. The glitz and glamour of F1 life is fun, but nothing compares to the private world you share with Max.

You’ll face the crowds and cameras again soon. But right now, lost in Max’s embrace, you have everything you need.

[bookyeom]

to care for you — lc

pairing: dino x reader word count: 4.4k warnings: mention of blood and injuries, mention of fainting, swearing, hurt and comfort, kissing request prompt: Okay so tumblr ate my ask 😭 but this is in response to @darkypooo’s request for Dino + “do you want to kiss?” “Yeah.”

Author’s Note: Yes, this is a Spiderman AU — but you don’t need to know much other than the bare minimum about the Spiderman universe to understand the story :) It’s set in college instead of high school, though. I’m actually so, so proud of this one, and I hope you like it!

Thanks so much for all the support on my 700 follower celebration. You guys rock! I’m doing my best to get through the requests, but there were way more than I anticipated so bear with me!

He‘s exhausted. 

It’s an exhaustion that’s begun to seep deep into his bones lately, but it feels extra heavy tonight. After a not-so-brief brush-up with some bad guys, he’s hurting in places that he didn’t know existed — even after all of his years spent studying science. He can’t remember the last time he got this hurt — to the point where even breathing is hard. All he wants to do right now is give up. He’s not sure what good he’s doing out there, anyway.

He’s exhausted, and he’s hurting all over, and honestly? All he wants to do is see you. 

He feels like that a lot these days.

He knows he’s not supposed to want you like he does, to need you like he does — for so many reasons. First and foremost, because you’re one of his closest friends — his confidante (in everything not Spiderman related, anyway), his safe place. You’re his friend, and friends aren’t supposed to love each other the way he loves you. Besides, he’s Spiderman. He’s not supposed to need anyone at all. In this line of business, feelings are a weakness.

You, thankfully, have no clue about his alter ego… or his feelings.

Well, at least you didn’t know about the superhero part. Until now, when he drags himself into his room and you’re there, curled up in his bed. He thinks he must be hallucinating. He’s too out of it to really register it at first, but then your eyes meet his from where you’re sitting up against his headboard, duvet pulled up to your chin, and he’s frozen. You blink back at him in the dim light of his room, your face lit up solely by the lamp on his bedside table.

“Chan?”

Your voice is small — so quiet that he thinks without his heightened senses he wouldn’t have been able to hear it. He can’t think straight enough to really process that his mask is off — he must have dropped it somewhere between the living room and here. All he can register before he’s stumbled back and slumped into his desk chair, eyes screwed shut from all the pain, is that you don’t look nearly as scared as he thought you would. Then everything goes black.

There’s a warm pressure against his jaw and his cheeks. 

He slowly comes to as he registers the feeling, struggling to open his eyes and find the source of the sensation. He can hear a faint voice call his name, once, twice, and when his eyes finally manage to flutter open just a little, he’s met with your concerned gaze.

“Fuck. Hi,” you mumble, and he blinks. The pure worry in your voice helps to bring him back to earth a little bit more, and he tries desperately to clear his head. How long was he out?

“Why…” He tries to speak but fails, his voice weak and his throat hoarse. 

Why are you here? 

He sees you wince when he tries to move, to shift into a more comfortable position even though he knows nothing will be comfortable right now, and your head is suddenly shaking back and forth so fast that it almost gives him whiplash.

“Don’t move,” you tell him, and he dazedly wonders why you don’t sound mad. Or frustrated. Or anything but concerned, really. He’s confused, his mind swirling even more as he tries to understand why your hands are holding his face like that. Hadn’t he kept things a secret from you for far too long to warrant your concern? Don’t you hate him now?

“I don’t know what’s going on,” you say, and Chan fights the urge to try and speak again, to blurt out everything that he’s wanted to tell you since he met you. Oblivious to his inner turmoil, you hastily continue, “but you have to tell me how to help you, Chan.”

His eyes flutter shut once more at the sound of his name coming from your lips, and he feels your thumb brush against his jaw. 

“Chan,” you say again, and you sound more panicked this time, so he does his best to calm you down. 

“Off.”

You blink at him again as he finally speaks. You’re not sure what he means, and you’re desperate to know, because you can’t look at him in pain like this any longer without doing something to help.

“Off,” he repeats hoarsely, and your eyes widen as you hastily remove your hands from his face.

“Shit, sorry!” Your eyes frantically wander across his face, searching for any damage your fingers might have caused. “I don’t know where you’re hurting, I didn’t mean to—“

As you babble on, all he can do is shake his head minutely. That’s not what he meant. The last thing he wanted right now was for you to take your hands off of him. He manages to lift a hand to press gently against his side, where a dark stain has formed. He glances down at where the material is clinging to his skin before looking back up at you. 

“Oh!” You reply, realization dawning on your face. You try to hide the flush of your cheeks. “Can you stand up to move to the bed so I can help? If not, I can—“

Already, he’s attempting to move, desperate to make any of this easier for you. He wants to apologize, to say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know exactly what for. For not telling you? For you having to see him like this? 

You help him stand, his arm reaching to rest on your shoulders as you do. You can tell he’s trying not to hurt you with his weight, and you almost laugh — how very Chan of him. You’re grateful that in the shock of survival mode, you’ve managed to avoid for now the way you know your heart is going to break when you register seeing soft, kind, selfless Chan beaten down like this. 

Cry tomorrow, is the message your brain is sending. Figure it out tomorrow. Right now, you need to help him.

“I’m strong,” you try to joke, though it’s a weak attempt, and Chan looks at you in confusion. “You can put your weight on me,” you elaborate quietly. He understands and gives you a sheepish smile, before doing as told, though you know he doesn’t want to. 

The two of you maneuver the few steps to the edge of his bed. Chan hisses involuntarily at the pain as he sits down, and you whisper soft apologies, though he has no idea why. Once he’s down, you immediately get to work, reaching behind him to find the zipper at the top of his suit. You manage to get it down as smoothly as possible, your eyes falling to where Chan is still clutching at his side.

“This part is going to hurt like a bitch,” you tell him softly.

“That’s okay,” he says. “It always does.”

You freeze for a moment from where you were about to begin to slide the suit off of his shoulders, but Chan doesn’t seem to realize what he’s said. You feel a sharp pain in your chest as his words replay, and you blink back tears, taking a moment to steel yourself. 

It always hurts.

You don’t respond, your fingers beginning to move again, and you’re surprised that they’re not shaking. Chan shivers when your fingers brush against his skin as you begin to slide the suit over his arms and off. You ease him out of the material on his uninjured side first, before coming around to the front of him and crouching down. You meet his eyes, his brown ones clouded over with pain, and your fingers gently reach to rest on top of his hand that’s still clutching his side. You give it a squeeze and he nods in understanding, closing his eyes tight, and you help him remove his fingers from the wound. You stand back up, and begin to pull the rest of the suit down his side and to his waist. Chan barely lets out so much as a whimper when you peel the rest of the material off of him. 

His lack of reaction is not what surprises you the most, though. The biggest surprise comes when you reach the spot on his side where you know a sickening amount of blood should be, and you find that it’s all dried — and that the wound has already begun to heal over. 

Huh?

Your brain can’t compute it. You glance up at him in complete confusion, but his head is hung low, and your heart breaks enough to distract you from all of the questions you want to ask. You force yourself to push the confusing mess of thoughts away until later. You can’t think about any of that right now. You can’t. 

“Chan?” Is what you say instead, knowing that you need to keep him awake enough to help him clean up, long enough to know he’s alright. Your hands are on his knees as you kneel between his legs and peer up at him. You have to stop yourself from reaching out to trace the newly-forming scars on his chest and arms, wanting nothing more than to kiss each mark and its associated pain away. You desperately want to know what happened, who hurt him like this, but you’re not sure you can handle it. You briefly register the older, faded scars that mark his skin, unsure of where they end and the new ones begin. 

You can’t figure it out — in front of you sits Chan, but it can’t be the Chan you know. It can’t be the one who giggles at your stupid jokes or falls asleep in your 8am lectures, or the one who remembers your coffee order every single time. The one who you swore had never fought with anyone in his life. The Chan in front of you looks so broken that you can’t put the two of them together. 

“You… okay?”

Your eyes shoot up to meet his again as he speaks, voice cracking and hoarse. Your heart stutters a bit in your chest as he attempts to look down at you, his eyes hooded over and half closed with the effort. He looks like he’s about to fall over, and still, he’s asking if you’re okay.

You’re hit so hard with sudden emotion that it causes you to inhale sharply without warning. Your hand lifts involuntarily to brush his hair back from where it’s falling into his eyes, and as he continues to try and hold your gaze, you register it all. This Chan is still your Chan. It’s the same Chan that has stirred feelings inside your chest that you were certain you could never feel again. The Chan whose intelligence and kindness still astounds you every single day. This Chan and your Chan are the same.

Your head spins.

When you finally make it to the bathroom, it’s all Chan can do to slouch down onto his bathroom floor. You help him out of the rest of his suit before crouching down beside him, wracking your brain for everything you’ve ever learned about cleaning wounds. You remain numb as he gives you single-word answers to where things are in his bathroom. It’s funny — you’ve been in his apartment so many times, but you’ve never needed to know where the antiseptic was. 

Chan’s eyes remain half-open as you work. He’s fighting with all his might, you can tell, and you can feel his eyes on you the whole time. You don’t think his gaze leaves you even once. It becomes monotonous: you clean the cut, he winces, you apologize. And repeat. Your mind wanders in what you’re sure is an attempt to protect yourself.

You’d come over tonight for your weekly movie night, letting yourself in with the code you’d long since been given access to. When hours had passed with no sign of Chan and no texts from him either, your heart had broken a little — had he forgotten? Was he okay? It was so unlike him that you’d stayed just in case, your heart racing with every little noise as you waited. 

You hate so much that your worst fears had come true.

Chan’s pain seems to ease in record time, bruises forming on his skin faster than you’ve ever seen. You have so many questions, but you push it all down, down, down. He falls asleep on his couch and you stay up all night, blanket pulled around your shoulders as you sit on the windowsill and make sure he’s still breathing. 

He wakes as the sun is beginning to rise, and you watch as he shifts to sit up, letting out a breath of what sounds like relief when he’s able to move without much trouble. Some of the cuts on his face and chest are already scabbed over. 

How?

When his eyes finally land on you, he jumps a little.

“Hi.”

”You didn’t sleep.”

It’s an observation rather than a question. You pull your knees up and rest your chin on them. “I was worried.”

It’s quiet, and he doesn’t know what to say. Neither do you.

“Well,” he clears his throat. “I’m glad you stayed.”

“Yeah.” Your voice is small, and he immediately feels guilty.

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what he expects you to do, what he expects you to say. You level him with your gaze, searching his face. Your eyes linger on the scabbed-over cut just above his brow, and you bite your lip before you speak again.

“It was…” You can feel your lower lip start to tremble in an act of betrayal, and you bite down on it to try and stop yourself from crying. “It was terrifying to see you like that, Chan,” you finally manage, and you know that after all these hours, the dam is about to break. You can tell he knows it, too, by the way his brows furrow even more, and his eyes widen just slightly.

“I know,” he murmurs, and that’s what does it.

Your hands move to cover your face as you finally let yourself cry, sobs muffled by your palms. You can hear the couch creak as Chan moves, and you can feel his presence as soon as he’s close. He whispers your name once, his voice breaking, and when he moves your hands away from your face, you don’t have the strength to stop him. He’s sitting next to you on the windowsill now. You sniffle, eyes looking anywhere but at him. Chan holds onto your wrists, rubbing gentle circles against the skin. 

“I’m so mad at you,” you finally say, and he lets go of your hands. He doesn’t retreat to his side of the window though, staying put as he nods, chewing on his bottom lip as he looks down.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you,” he says, voice quiet. “I hope you understand why I couldn’t… but you still have every right to be pissed at me.”

It’s silent, and you stare at him in disbelief. There are so many thoughts running through your head, and it takes you a moment to settle on just one. “You think I’m mad because you didn’t tell me that you were Spiderman?” You finally say, causing him to look at you again in surprise.

“I mean, yeah? Why else—“

“I’m mad,” you emphasize, “because you’re out there getting hurt, and my heart literally can’t take the thought of that, oh my god, Chan.” Your voice breaks, and fuck, you’re about to cry again, but you can’t stop. Your eyes trace over his face, pausing where the bruise is starting to form on his cheek, and you feel frustration begin to build again as you angrily blink back tears. “What the fuck, Chan. Why the hell are you… I mean, if I hadn’t been able to help you last night, I wouldn’t — I just, I can’t even imagine—“

Your words are cut off as Chan’s hands find the side of your face. His gaze is firm as he looks at you, and his sudden boldness catches you off guard, your words dying in your throat. Once he seems to realize that you’re not going to run, his thumb moves to caress your jaw, and you can’t help the shiver that spreads through you at the gentle touch. Your hands lift to rest on his arms where they’re holding you, and you’re speechless, your eyes unable to leave his. He takes in a deep breath, and you follow.

“I’m here,” he says, and you draw in another shaky breath. You don’t think he’s ever been this forward with you before, but you’re grateful for it. He’s warm, and he’s here. He’s alive.You’re torn between wanting to never leave his side again, and needing desperately to be away from him so that you can think.

“I think it might be good for me to go now that I know you’re okay,” you say softly after a moment, and you can see the hurt that briefly shadows his eyes. It’s gone as quickly as it comes, though, and he nods, removing his hands from your face. 

“I understand.”

“And I… I probably need some time.”

He nods again, and your heart breaks at the thought of leaving him, but you have to. For now. Your feet feel leaden as you get up, going through the motions as you grab your backpack from the hook by his door. You barely register putting on your shoes, your mind on autopilot until it’s broken by his voice from just behind you.

“Y/N?”

Your name coming from his lips feels like a punch to the gut, and you almost reach out for him again, but you hold firm.

”Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. Can you just…” he sucks in a breath. “Can you please not tell anyone? About, you know—”

His words hit like a ton of bricks. You cut him off, expression full of silent fury at the insinuation. “Yeah. I won’t.” 

You’re pissed that he even had to ask, and he knows it, but there’s nothing else he can do. His secret is more important than anything — he just wishes it didn’t have to be more important than you. 

It takes three days for you to end up back at his door. He’s missed all of your shared college courses so far this week, and you’re worried. You’re terrified, actually, and you need to see him.

When he opens the door, you do a double take. It’s almost like nothing happened to him at all. The bruises and cuts are barely-there, and you’re reminded of the miles-long list of questions you have stored in the back of your brain. He’s surprised to see you, you can tell, and he blinks slowly before stepping aside to let you in.

“How are you?” You level him with raised eyebrows as you take off your shoes, and he nods, biting his lip. “Yeah, I know. I was worried that—“

“I didn’t tell anyone,” you interrupt. “Don’t worry.” You look down, your heart twisting painfully in your chest when you remember the words he’d said to you. ‘Can you please not tell anyone?’ You cross your arms as you head over to the living room, but you don’t sit down. You don’t really know what your plan had been — you’d just needed to see him. 

“Oh,” comes his soft reply before he adds, “I mean… I didn’t really think that you would.”

Your eyes briefly meet his across the room, confused, before you recover and look back down at the floor. “So then what were you worried about?”

You can feel his gaze intent on your face. “You.”

Your breath catches and your eyes swiftly meet his again. You blink. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Chan,” you say after a moment, trying to push down the bubble of irritation you feel building in your chest. “You didn’t even text me once.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he says quietly, “You said that you needed time.”

“To process, yes! But you didn’t even text me that you were okay. I was worried about you, Chan. Why would you be worried about me? I’m not the one coming through your window and fainting from injury, now am I?”

You can see the guilt flicker across his face. “I know,” he says, and then he suddenly feels the need to apologize again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t message you, but I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.” He pauses. “Ever again, maybe.”

You can hear the sadness in his voice, and your heart breaks. You feel the anger in you start to dissipate as he looks away from you. Your eyes catch on the barely-there faded scar across his eyebrow, and your mind is filled with painful memories of the Chan you’d seen that night. 

“You’re so fucking stupid, Chan.” 

He knows. But judging by the way you sit down on his couch instead of storming out again, he thinks that somehow, his stupidity has already been forgiven. 

It’s quiet as he joins you. You can feel him looking at you, and when you can’t take it anymore, you look back at him pointedly. He blushes, quickly looking away when your eyes meet. You sigh, your head falling into the back of the couch before you turn and curl up against it, your eyes drifting shut. 

"Is that my sweater?" 

Your eyes shoot open, and it's as if he's finally grown the courage to look at you directly again now. His brown eyes search yours, and he motions to the shirt you're wearing. You look down — even though you know he's right — and your cheeks are on fire. You’re wearing the sweater he’d leant you forever ago on a cold night for your walk home — the one you’d never returned. You slept in it almost every night, and he hadn’t asked for it back. 

"Keeps me warm," you mumble, tugging on the hem. It's silent for a beat before you continue, voice even quieter than before. You pause, ruminating on your next words before you take a deep breath and say, “The last few nights, wearing it kind of made me feel like you were safe.”

You can hear his intake of breath before he says, soft, “Are you mad at me?”

You shake your head, because you’re not. You’re scared, stressed, worried sick — but you’re not mad. Not anymore. “No, Chan.”

The nickname sends a flood of relief through him more than your actual reply does. 

“I’m not mad,” you continue, “because of course you’re Spiderman. Of course you’re putting yourself in danger trying to protect others. I love how selfless you are, Lee Chan — I always have. But me? I’m selfish. And I’m scared to death of losing you.”

All he says, all he can say, is, “I’m scared, too.”

You look at him again now. You search his face as you ask, “Of what?”

“Of getting hurt. Of… of losing you, too.”

Your heart is suddenly beating so fast you think it might soon break free from your rib cage. You don’t know why you say it, because you’ve already got his undivided attention, but his name comes out breathlessly anyway. “Chan?” 

“Yeah?” He’s looking at you with those beautiful, big, questioning eyes, and you can’t help it. 

“I think it might be a terrible time for me to say this,” you blurt out, “but I — Chan, I’m in love with you.”

Silence.

Chan blinks.

“Wait, what?”

Your face flushes, and it’s your turn to look away. “Sorry,” you murmur.

“No, don’t — oh my god. What?”

You’re not sure what he wants from you. You’re embarrassed now, pulling your knees up to your chest in a feeble attempt to protect yourself from your feelings. Your face is flushed as you turn to look out the window, and you can almost hear Chan’s brain buffering as he remains silent.

“Do you mean that?”

“Why would I say it if I didn’t mean it?” Your voice comes out a bit harsher than you intend it to, but you don’t take it back. 

“I…” He trails off. He doesn’t say anything more, and the quiet is almost deafening. You’re finding it a little harder to breathe as the seconds pass, and you wrack your brain for something, anything to say to fill the stifling silence.  

“I’m going to go,” is what comes out, and then you’re standing up so abruptly that you feel a little dizzy. The scene is familiar — you, running from what you’re feeling, running from him. 

“Wait,” he blurts out, and you do. You pause in spite of everything in you that’s begging you to run, and then he says, “Can I… I mean, do you want to… kiss?”

You turn back, eyes wide. It’s such a ridiculous question, such an innocent thing for him to ask in light of everything that’s happened in the last few days — but it’s so Chan that you almost forget about it all. This is probably a bad idea, you both know that — and you don’t care. You don’t know how this is going to work, but you’ll figure it out. 

Because it’s your Chan — the one who cares so much, the one who gives you hope, the one who wants nothing but for the world to be a better place.

“I mean — I love you too,” he says into the silence, and you realize that you haven’t given him an answer.

“Yes,” you breathe out before he can panic. “Fuck. I have so many questions, but first, yes. Yes, I want to kiss you, Lee Chan.”

You can hardly believe the giggle and shy smile he sends your way before he kisses you breathless. 

Yeah, you think to yourself as he pulls back, as your fingers lift to gently trace the barely-there bruise on his cheek, as he leans into the warmth of your hand. As you think about how he’s been doing all of this — trying to change the world — alone.

Yeah, you think. You’ll figure it out. 

TAGLIST: @waldau @minisugakoobies @tae-bebe @gyuminusone @wqnwoos @wheeboo @christinewithluv @lvlystars @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @iluvseokmin @seohomrwolf @pan-de-seungcheol @bewoyewo @kyeomkyeomi @mingyuscoffee @harry-the-pottypus @lightprincess-world @icyminghao @bella-l @darkypooo

[xxcallmemaryxx]

Vessels x GN reader

How they act after a really long day ~ Headcannons.

Under the cut <3

Vessel catches a big attitude problem when he’s had a really long day. This guy is grouchy and pissy and doesn’t want to deal with anything. A big permanent frown pulls at his lips the whole night. His only cure is a good nights sleep, he knows it and you know it, but don’t you dare tell him that’s what he needs or else he’ll stubbornly keep himself up. If you get some good food in his belly you might be able to knock him down a few pegs, but ultimately calling it a night nice and early is your best bet at settling him down. He relies heavily on you to pull him back to earth when he gets like this, and you’re more than happy to every time. If you thought vessel was a little clingy before, welcome to a whole new world of clingy. He’s scowling and pouting the whole time, but don’t think for a second he’s leaving your side. The moment he sets his sights on you, his stuff is dropped, shoes are off and he’s glueing himself to you before he’s even said hello. He knows he’s probably being a bit of a nuisance, it can’t be easy cooking dinner with a six foot something tree of a man pinned to your back. But in that moment, he probably couldn’t care less.

Getting him into a warm shower and getting him into bed is a mission. He does absolutely nothing to help you. He’s dragging his feet, still wrapped around you as you move through the house. This means that most of the time you end up in the shower with him, which might have been his plan, but all he does cuddle you the whole time. If you want to wash him you need to pry him off you, but let your guard down and he’s back on you again quicker than you can blink. You’d want to hope you remembered to lock the house up before you got to this point, because if you think vessel is letting you get any kind of clothes on, you’re sadly mistaken. For the first time that night he’s the one pulling you around, except the only difference is, he’s pulling you right to bed and straight under the covers so you can’t even try to get into your pyjamas. He plants a big wet kiss on your lips and then proceeds to bury his face into the warm skin of your neck, mentally checking out for the night. His body heat keeps you nice and warm, but vessel is so big on skin to skin contact that even if he wasn’t enough to keep you warm, he’d invest in the best heated blankets for you to ensure that he still got this. This, right here, is where he is happiest and it’s all he needs to feel like himself again. Your big sap will be back to normal again in the morning, with lots of apologetic kisses waiting for you the moment you wake up.

II, needs a really slow, quiet night after he’s had a long day. He doesn’t care for a big nice dinner, he doesn’t care for pulling out all the stops to ensure he feels better, all he needs is you, a dark room, and no distractions. He’s patient though. Lets you make him at least something to have on his belly or else he’ll feel worse in the morning. He will pull you to the couch for a little while, just long enough to let the food from dinner settle in his stomach before he’s getting you both up to call it a night. Yet even then, when the only thing he wants is to just go to bed, he lets you do your night time routine without rush. He stands with you in the bathroom, watching you in the mirror. You’ll brush your teeth together and he’ll watch you wash your face. But he doesn’t rush you. At all. He slips out of the room as you’re finishing up to lock up the house, all the lights are off and the house is so quiet. Maybe you’ll meet him in the kitchen after you went looking for him, slotting yourself into his arms for a quick cuddle. His face presses against yours and he’s holding you so close like he hasn’t been home for days, and to him it feels that way, but right now he just needs to remind himself that he’s home and his day is over. Sharing this quiet moment with you in the darkness of the kitchen, not another being on his mind.

His hand will slot into yours and he’ll slowly pull you to bed. There’s no rush. Because you’re walking there with him, and he couldn’t ask for much else. He sees you’ve pulled the covers back, all he needs to do is slip under them, and although you have your respective sides of the bed, he wants you on his side tonight. He doesn’t let you round the bed, instead, he sits on the edge of the mattress and pulls you into his lap. He presses a few quick kisses to the back of your neck then manoeuvres you both under the covers. You get the hint. Settling into him, his arm is around you and he’s huffing into your exposed skin from behind you. The room is dark. The house is quiet. And you’re right where he needs you. There’s no rush to fall asleep.

III turns into a bit of a grouch too. He’ll find you somewhere in the house, seeking you out right away as if it’s a sixth sense. But the difference with iii is that he becomes super restless. He can’t sit still. He can’t focus on anything. He doesn’t know if he wants to eat dinner, but complains his stomach hurts. Yet couldn’t for the life of him tell you what he wants to eat. Eventually he might settle for something that probably won’t make him feel any better, but if he’s getting something on his stomach then so be it. He’ll be on and off you all night. One minute acting as if his body is surgically attached to yours, then the next he’ll be face down in the couch groaning about how tired he is. You offer to lay there with him for a while, and although it’s nice for the first three minutes, it doesn’t last long. He’s up and off the couch flicking the tv on and asking you to play whatever game he’s been into recently with him. But, he can’t enjoy it. So that doesn’t last long either, he’s over it about ten minutes in and he’s sooking about his piss poor mood. He’s groaning and whining about everything he possibly could. And you know it’s because he’s just feeling over worked and exhausted, but settling iii down when he gets like this is a challenge.

You offer to call it and go to bed, maybe you could put a movie on and use it as some kind of background noise if he really wanted. He will say no to you. Trying to tell you he doesn’t want to go to bed just yet but if his heavy lidded eyes tell you anything, you know it’s only a matter of time before he caves. He’s tossing and turning on the couch, getting more and more tired as time ticks on. Getting up for no reason then coming back and plonking back on the couch with a huff. Waiting him out works every time. He’s asking to go to bed through yawns and by this point his eyes are barely open. Get him into bed all nice and warm and he’s out like a light the minute his head hits the pillow. Snuggle into him and he’ll welcome you in, even in his sleep. Maybe one day he’ll realise that early nights can be fun too.

IV gets super quiet after a long day. He’s not grouchy or in a bad mood. But he just needs to process his day slowly and recharge. It’s obvious he’s tired, and winding down and getting some good sleep would probably be the best option for him, but ultimately iv needs time to exist in silence before he’s ready to end the day. He’ll give you your cuddles and he’ll chat with you for a little, but it’s easy to pick up on where his mind is at. His answers are short and simple, his voice is quiet and his eyes are elsewhere. Offer him an easy dinner, maybe a nice dessert for after. Let him share the room with you while you both do different things. Let him watch you tidy up and begin the process of pulling everything together for the night. He’ll probably take himself to bed to lay there and decompress for a little, while he waits for you to join him. He listens to you wash up in the bathroom, having watched your nighttime routine countless times he could probably guess what you’re up to just by what he’s hearing. But that helps him too. Hearing your presence and knowing you’re close is so comforting to him. He knows you’re just at arms length if he needs you, while he sorts his brain out.

And usually by the time you find yourself both in bed, his arms are open and he’s pulling you into him before you even have a chance to pull the covers back. It’s during this time he will open up. Becoming a little more chatty and telling you about what he got up to that day. The conversations are quiet and soft, they’re slow and sleepy but they’re there. Your voices, your shared warmth and finally being in each other’s arms again starts to lull you both to sleep. Both secretly fighting it so you can spend as many seconds as possible still awake and together, but iv will nod off mid sentence and leave you hanging. You following soon after. His head drops, pressed against yours and your breathing syncs up almost instantly. Neither of you will have any recollection of what he was talking about before he crashed, but he’ll make up for his unfinished story in kisses.

[mafiadad5]

Interminable || mark lee

No matter how much you claim you don’t want someone, or force your feelings away, you can never hide the truth

Genre- non idol au, friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, slow burn

paring- mark lee x fem!reader

Warnings- heavy angst, protected sex (mdni), mentions of alcohol, sex under the influence of alcohol (consensually), heartbreak, swearing, tw- mentions of death.

Mark is green and reader is blue/ white !

Word count- 12k

Playlist- kingston - faye webster / take a chance with me - niki / intro (end of the world) - ariana grande / a new kind of love - frou frou, imogen heap, guy sigsworth / a night to remember - beabadoobee, laufey / teddy bear - nct dream / bad religion - frank ocean / hurts me too - faye webster / yume utsutsu - lamp / promise - laufey / moonlight on the river - mac demarco / love - wave to earth / only - leehi

Authors note- omg hi, so this is one of my first angst, plz tell me what you think <3 and also… sry for any spelling or grammar errors lol.

July 11th, 9:00 am- beautiful stranger

"Hi! How can I help you today?"

Was the first thing he's ever said to you, a little anticlimactic yes, but you found yourself infatuated.

This was a smoothie shop that you were trying for the first time after moving, so you took some time browsing the menu, the nameless employee asking if you needed any help with anything here and there.

"Well what's your favorite thing?" You asked, looking at him deeply for the first time.

His eyes twinkled like no other, gleaming like the evening star in the night. All you could do was stare as he spoke, taking in all of his delicate features: the way his dark brown hair laid on his forehead, the way he was so expressive as he talked, oh wait, what was he talking about again?

"That's why it's my favorite drink and the large is simply better, sorry I didn't mean to talk your head off." He giggled.

"I'll take that." You grinned softly with him, eyes lighting up as he smiled brightly.

"In a large right?"

"Mhm!"

"Great! One large watermelon smoothie for you, that’ll be 7 dollars."

Your face dropped as he punched your order in on the register. You fucking hate watermelon smoothies, the actual fruit is ok, but the texture of the smoothie you can't do it, like at all.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking up at you with concerning eyes.

"Yea, all good!" You forcefully smiled, pulling out your card to pay.

“All set, I’ll get that ready for you asap!” He smiled, handing back your card.

You found somewhere to sit, making yourself comfortable as you scrolled on your phone, distracted by images of his smile popping up in your head. The smoothie shop was quiet, peaceful really, you being the only customer there.

“Here you go ma’am.” You heard from beside you, knocking you out of your thoughts.

“Oh thank you, you really didn’t have to bring it to me though.” You grinned, grabbing the smoothie from him.

“No problem really, there’s no one here anyways.” He smiled back, nodding reassuringly before turning away.

“Wait!” You interrupted, tapping the side of your drink nervously.

“What’s up?” He asked. His stare made you nervous, eyes so pure it made you want to melt on the spot from looking for one second.

“I was just wondering if um, if I could have your number? You know, I’m just new to the city and I would love some people to talk to.” You asked.

Your voice was so shaky and filled with anxiety it was so easy to read your nervousness, but he didn’t mind it, he found it somewhat cute actually.

“Yes, I would love to give you my number. May I see your phone?” You nodded persistently, a small smile on your face from the relief and the excitement, handing him your phone.

“What’s your name?” He asked, dialing the number in your call pad.

“It’s Y/n, what about yours?” You said, a smile on your face as he gave the phone back.

“It’s Mark, nice to meet you Y/n.” He stuck out his hand.

His voice, his eye contact, his manners, everything about him made you blush like a little teenager in love with your high school sweetheart, and you had only exchanged a few words.

“Nice to meet you too.” You smiled, your hand meeting with his soft hand, shaking gently and slowly, his eyes locked with yours.

“Well I have to get back behind my station, I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” He said as you removed your hand from his, nodding gently, waving as he walked back behind the counter.

You decided to sit there, the vile large smoothie in front of you tasting disgustingly good now knowing who made it. You drunk awfully slow, not just because of the eye candy that worked in front of you, glancing at you and smiling on occasion, but because how the smoothie dreadfully slithered down your throat, holding in a gag every swallow, but you finished it, every last drop. God how a pretty smile could make you do anything, you hated it, but here you were.

You got up from your chair, Mark noticing you, interrupting you before you collected your trash: “Oh, I got it!”

You turned to him smiling as he quickly walked over, collecting your trash.

“Thank you Mark, I’ll see you later.”

“You’re welcome Y/n!” He beamed as you walked out the smoothie shop

You had gained three things leaving that shop: a bright smile on your face from happiness, a bittersweet hatred for large watermelon smoothies, and a new, great person in your life.

July 11th, 10:53 pm- more than words

It had been a few hours since your first encounter with Mark, you trying to get him off your mind after the blue message you sent earlier never delivered.

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling as your hopes got shot down. Your phone went off beside you, but you just ignored it, trying to sulk in your feelings.

You soon got bored though so you decided to take a peek at your lock screen, jumping up as a familiar unknown number appeared in your Notification Center.

Hi y/n, don’t know if my number is saved yet, but it’s Mark from the smoothie shop.

You lied on your stomach, face lighting up as you grabbed your phone, instantly opening the message.

Oh hey, how was work lol?

It was good, other than the fact I left my phone at home, and dead… most boring double shift ever lol. How was your day after you left?

It was good, just went home and watched a movie with my roommate.

Oh cool. You said you were from a different city right?

Oh yea, actually out of the state!

Oh that’s cool, but why here. ^.^?

Just trying to explore more places, I like this place so far.

Ohh nice. Well I hope I have the pleasure of showing you around the city and making you love it :) How’d you like the smoothie?

I might take you up on that haha ;) and omg it was so delicious. Very refreshing to have after my morning runs. You’ll be seeing me a lot more in the mornings lmao.

Oh awesome, I basically work every morning so it’ll be a pleasure seeing you and making my morning a tad bit better.

You sprung up with a smile on your face, running around your room hectically. Did he really mean he what said, did you make his morning better? Your mind started flooding with a million thoughts, calming as you settled down, realizing that you never texted back. You grabbed your phone again, the message still opened as you started to text back.

Lol, well I guess I'll see you tmr then, hope to brighten up your day :)

You responded, sitting waiting for a response, 5 minutes passing, then 10, and nothing. You figured he might’ve just went to sleep, he did say he had a double shift, but you couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow and the anticipation was eating you up inside all night.

July 12th, 9:13 am - it's a date! i think...

You were on your run, the smoothie shop on your mind the whole entire way.

Finally, you were there, Mark cleaning the counters, eyes lighting up as you walked through the doors.

"Good morning!" He excitedly said.

"Good morning!" You said in response, a bright smile on your face as you made your way to the register to order.

"Wait I made something for you." He said, grabbing the most despise-able , yet refreshingly large watermelon smoothie. You felt your eye twitch at the sight.

"You shouldn't have." You smiled, not forcefully, but you felt a hint of pain behind it.

"Ah, it's the least I could do." He said, handing you the drink , wiping the condensation of the cup on his white apron.

You didn't think you could gobble down another one of these, you almost died at the thought, but there you were, sitting down at the same table you were at yesterday, drinking the smoothie painfully slow.

"So like, have you been anywhere around here yet?" You turned to him as he finished cleaning the counters. "I've only been to like a few food places, but that's all." You answered.

“Well, I’m off next Wednesday. If you’re not busy then I can take you to like my favorite park?”

Your face lit up, did he like just ask you out on a date?

“Yes, I would love to, just text me what time.” You smiled.

“Yea for sure!”

For an hour the conversation kept on flowing, you two chatting it up while he worked, unfinished conversations floating in the air when other customers came into the shop pausing the long talks.

“Mark I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I have to get to my online class so I’ll see you later.” You smiled, a little sad because you felt like you could’ve stayed and talked to him for hours.

“No worries, I’ll text you later about plans. Have a good rest of your day Y/n!”

“You too Mark!” You said, throwing the finished cup away.

On your walk home all you could think about was Mark, yes you only knew him for like 2 days, but his impression had left a stamp on your heart. He would definitely be someone you would be interested in having a relationship with, and he seemed like he thought of you in the same manor.

While walking home, your phone vibration went off, Marks name appearing on the lock-screen.

Hey Y/n know we just talked lol, but I’m thinking maybe like 12:00pm next Wednesday? How does that sound?

You opened the text, a smile on your face as you typed quickly.

Hey Mark, sorry but I have my online class, but I can do 1pm if that’s ok?

Oh yea, that works for me, I can come to your house and we can walk to the park? That sound ok?

Yea that’s perfect!

Great, well then it’s a date! :p

It’s a date lol

It’s a date!

July 19th, 12:55 pm - are you falling in love?

You were panicking you and your roommate running around trying to find your favorite perfume that decided to get lost at a time like this.

Hey! I’m outside, just come out whenever you’re ready I’ll be waiting :)

Fuck, you didn’t want him to just sit out there.

“I FOUND IT I FOUND IT.” Your roommate screamed, throwing you your perfume.

“Thank you you’re the best.” You grinned, rushingly spraying the perfume on your body.

“Ok I’m going now.” You said, grabbing your purse and slipping on your sneakers at the door. You rushed out the door, rushing downstairs your eyes scanning the outside, stopping on a familiar figure wearing a T-shirt, some blue jeans, and a small tote bag.

“Mark!” You shouted, causing him to turn around. Your eyes meeting his face then the two large smoothies in his hand.

You tried to keep a smile on your face, but it seemed like the watermelon smoothies had faces of their own looking at you with snarky expressions.

“Y/n!” He smiled, jogging over to you.

“Were you at the wrong complex?” You giggled, an awkward smile painting his face as he nodded.

“Maybe… oh here I got you something.” He said laughing, handing you the dreadful smoothie.

“Oh thank you.” You smiled.

“Wow my first time seeing you out of your workout clothes, I think I like these better. Not that I don’t like how you look in your workout clothes, you look amazing in your workout clothes, but I’m just, you look good now too.”

“Thank you Mark, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you without your uniform Mr. Smoothie King. You look good too.” You giggled as he blushed.

“Ah I try my best, I guess we should walk to the park now.”

“After you.”

You guys walked to the park, which happened to only be 5 minutes away, sitting on a bench.

“I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, I should’ve asked, but I got you a ham sandwich.” You smiled taking the sandwich from him.

“I love it thank you.” You said, removing the sandwich out of the packet and taking a big bite.

You two sat on the bench for a while talking each other’s heads off, a smile on both of your faces as you chatted and laughed together for a few hours, the time passing by so fast.

“I’m starving, do you wanna grab dinner?” He said.

“Well, I mean my place is close by we can just go there and cook something really quick.”

“Oh, I would love that.” He smiled.

“Ok let me just text my roommate to make sure.” He nodded as you pulled out your phone, your roommate responding almost immediately saying you could go ahead and she was in her room anyways.

“Ok she said she’s fine we can go!” You said, standing up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up to stand with you.

For any other man, you would never let them go into your apartment this early, but you just felt so different about him, like you would trust anything he says. I guess that’s not a good thing, but for fucks sake ever since you’ve met him you’ve seen him almost everyday, and he always makes it a point to text you throughout the day and after work so you felt like at that point, you had known him long enough to trust him.

You had made it to your house, opening the door and removing your shoes, prompting him to do the same. You sat your things down near the dining table rolling up your sleeves and heading to the kitchen, and he followed right behind you.

“I was just gonna make spaghetti tonight, do you want?” You asked, getting out your pot and pans, setting them on the stove.

“I’d want anything you cook.” He laughed, a small grin appearing on your face as he stood beside you. In past conversations it has come up that you did love cooking and actually had a bachelors in culinary arts, associates in education, hence the online cooking classes you taught, so it wasn’t strange to make a comment like that, it was actually quite flattering.

“Here can you make the sausages?” You asked, handing him the already prepped meat, Mark grabbing the bowl pouring it into the pan almost immediately, causing a loud sizzling sound to erupt in the kitchen.

“MARK!?” You turned, laughing as he backed away from the pan, looking at you like a toddler getting scolded by their parent.

“Uh oh.” He said, a smile appearing on his face before you handed him a box of noodles, signaling him to cook them instead. You two stood beside each other, talking as you watched the food.

“Mark taste this.” You said, grabbing a clean spoon and scooping some of the homemade tomato sauce you made on it, holding it up to his mouth.

“Yo, this honestly may be the best spaghetti sauce I’ve ever tasted.”

You smiled, setting down the spoon, pouring the rest of the sauce with the sausages.

“Thank you.”

You finally finished cooking, plating your beautiful creation together.

“Let’s watch a movie in the living room while we eat.” You suggested, him following behind you as you took a place on the couch.

“What should we watch?” You asked.

“ What about La La Land?” He suggested.

“Stop that movie makes me cry.” You pouted playfully, a grin painting his face.

“Well if you really don’t want to then we can watch something funny, but I’ll be here to wipe your tears just saying.” He shrugged, causing you to smile, looking down, then back up at him.

“Fine.” You said, causing him to take a happy sigh of relief.

You turned on the movie, both of you guys eating while making small comments every now and then. Fortunately, you didn’t cry, but he was your shoulder to lie on during the movie, and unfortunately it was time for him to go home.

“Are you sure you can walk home by yourself, it’s dark out now?” You asked concerned, walking him to the door.

“Yes I’m good, you only stay like 10 minutes walking distance from me, I’ll send you my location if you’re that scared.”

“Ok fine” You said dragging out your words, trying to be serious, but all you could do was melt, it seemed like everything he did, everything he said was so cute and made you smile.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” He questioned, looking at you from outside the door frame.

“Yeah, 9:00am like always!”

“Ok, bye Y/n.” He smiled, waving before turning away.

“Bye Mark.” You shut the door, turning away.

You decided to clean up before knocking on your roommates door.

“He’s gone.” You said before walking into your room, her busting in shortly after, a smile on her face.

“Girl.” She said, bouncing on your bed with a mischievous smile.

“You heard everything didn’t you?” You asked.

“I heard enough, and girl he sounds so fucking romantic I thought I was listening to a romcom.

“Ughh tell me about it, he’s so dreamy.” You smiled, face lighting up as you thought about the string of events that happened that day, your phone vibrating before your roommate could respond.

“Omg shut up he just texted me now.” You looked at her with sparkling eyes.

“What’d he say?”

➶︎ mark<3 started sharing location with you.

Hey, just wanted to text and lyk that I had such a fun time, and we should definitely do this again :) have a great night and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.

You looked at your roommate, a smile painted so brightly on your face it hurt your cheeks.

“Girl he fucking wants you oh my god.”

“He fucking wants me!” You screamed, a bright smile on your face as you ran all over your room.

“Text back text back.” Your roommate said.

I had a great time too, thank you for showing me the park <333. Have a great night mark, see you tmr!

You and your roommate just sat talking, you really seeing how deep you were in your feelings after practically bragging to her about him. You just hope he was in as deep as you.

August 2nd, 10:35 am - surprise!

You woke up, excited to get the day started, you were even too excited to go on your morning run, putting on a simple outfit just to run errands, your first one obviously the smoothie shop.

“Happy birthday Mark!!!” You ran inside, a big smile on your face as you made your way to him. He looked up surprised, cleaning the tables, setting down his washcloth as you pulled him into a hug.

“You remembered my birthday, I thought you weren’t coming today?” He smiled as he went behind the counter, going to the register before you shook your head.

“Mark, I’m not ordering anything… but I did come to ask you for a favor.” He looked at you with questioning eyes, not responding, waiting for your favor.

“Well, my uh drawer is jammed and I really need what’s in it like tonight, my roommate isn’t there so I could use your help when you get off?”

“Oh yeah sure, I’ll head over there when I get off.” He said, a small grin on his face.

“Thanks Markie you’re the best! See you at 5. Happy birthday again!”

“Thanks.” He mumbled, going to clean again as you left. 

It’s go time.

Hey I’m otw, might be there at like 5:30 or 5:45 because I’m starving, so I’m gonna stop to get some food.

No Mark, I really need this drawer unjammed, can you plz come right away? You can get food after. plzzzzzzz :(

Alright alright, I’ll come straight there.

Yayyy!

After a few minutes you finally heard a knock on the door. You got up excitedly, making sure everything looked good before opening the door, blocking the view of the living room.

“Ok, let’s see what’s wrong with this drawer.” He said.

You let him in, a big smile on your face as he walked, eyes in shock as he looked at the decorated living room, along with the dinner and cake sitting on the dining room table.

“Surprise!”  You smiled seeing his eyes light up, looking at you, then the decorations, and back at you again.

“Yo… you really… omg I don’t even know what to say. Thank you bro oh my god no one has like ever done anything for me like this before. Thank you Y/n, you’re like the best.”

“You’re welcome Mark and Happy birthday again. Now you said you were starving so let’s eat!”

You both ate, resting on the couch after the delicious homemade chicken and rice, and cookies and cream ice cream cake.

“Do you wanna watch a movie now?” He asked.

“If you want to then we will birthday boy, but I have something for you first.” You said, pulling out a small blue gift bag.

First he pulled out the card, opening it to see a message in bright red ink, reading it in his head.

Dear Mark, I hope you have the most wonderful birthday and I’m very grateful that I could spend it with you. I hope we can spend more and more birthdays together and I want to say that I’m very grateful that I met you! 

- With love Y/n :)

He looked up at you, a smile on his face as he pulled you into a hug. “Thank you so much Y/n.” 

He pulled the other gift out the bag, jumping up out of the seat as he saw what it was.

“Y/N YOU GOT ME A LIMITED EDITION SPIDER-MAN COMIC BOOK?” His smile was so wide and full, you felt like you could climb it.

“Yo Y/n… I’m actually, oh my fucking god I… I honestly could kiss you right now oh my goodness. Thank you.” He squealed, your eyes sparkling as you looked at him.

“You’re welcome Mark. I guess we should watch Spider-Man now huh?” You giggled, pulling out the extra cushions on the couch to make more room so you both could lay down. 

You both got comfortable, watching the movie, your head on his shoulder as you both laid under the blanket. I guess you could say that you both got a little too comfortable, passing out before the movie was even over.

You woke up, unsure of what even happened and how you even got here in the first place. Mark was no where to be found, but a notification on your phone let you know his whereabouts. 

Hey, sorry to leave without saying goodbye, but you were like sleeping beauty lol. I had work and I’m for certain you’re not coming tdy so I’ll just swing by later on when I get off. Oh, and thank you so much again. I really appreciate you :D

Oh no worries, I’ll see you later, and no problem! 

You set your phone down, you couldn’t even believe how far you have gotten with him.

Seriously, your first sleepover with him, cuddled up at that. And of course you didn’t let that comment about kissing you slide, it was pretty much on your mind all night, and the moment kept repeating itself in your head, driving you almost crazy. That’s what you want more than anything, just a kiss, one kiss.

You were certain that you were almost there, but of course you didn’t want to rush things and you liked the pace of this relationship so far so I guess it is what it is right now… but it should come soon, hopefully it comes soon. 

October 27th, 9:08 am- i think im in love.

Today was like any other day, going on your morning run, then stopping by your absolute favorite place.

"Good morning Y/n!" Mark said, smiling as he acknowledged you, sticking his head back under the counter.

"Good morning Mark!" You said, walking to the register.

"I'm a little busy right now Y/n, do you mind just waiting at your table so I can finish this?" He asked.

"Sure." You grinned, going to your normal seat, scrolling on your phone as you waited for Mark. You looked to your side, noticing him holding a large mango smoothie with a birthday candle in the cap, your eyes lighting up as you realized what was happening.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dearest Y/n, happy birthday to you!" He sung, bringing the smoothie over to you, his cheekbones defined as he smiled.

"You remembered?" You laughed, blowing out the candle.

"How could I forget? So, I hope you're not busy tonight because I want to do something for you at my apartment." He answered.

"Perhaps I could swing by, I'd have to check my schedule." You said sarcastically, a smirk on your face as your cheeks went hot.

"Well, stop by at 7pm if you're able to Ms. Hollywood."

"I'll see what I can do." You rolled your eyes playfully, a smile on his face as he made his way back to the smoothie counter. 

You thought about what he had planned all day. Doing random task to try to take your mind off of it, daydreaming about what it would be, what it would look like, goodness 7pm couldn't get here any quicker.

Finally it arrived, the time you anticipated for all day. You knocked on his door, waiting for a few seconds before you heard the door handle rattling, him sitting awkwardly in the door frame after he opened it. You two stared at each other for a second in silence, an awkward smile on your face as you stared at him.

“Hey.” He coughed.

“Hey, it’s cold, can I come in?” You grinned, an awkward laugh sounding from him as he let you in, shutting the door behind you.

“Surprise!” He mumbled as you stood quietly, eyes twinkling as you took in all the decorations.

The first thing you saw was a big projector screen in the living room with your favorite show ‘kitchen nightmares’ paused. Your eyes slowly observed the room to see sugar cookies and decorative frosting on the coffee table, a large box with a bow sitting next to it. You were quiet, breathless really, couldn’t even find the words to say, just staring blankly.

“Do you like it, I know it’s not much, but-”

“It’s perfect.” You interrupted, looking at him with the most glistening eyes.

He smiled condescendingly, guiding you to the dinner that was on the dining table, the homemade chicken pasta, which happened to be your favorite food.

“Mark oh my goodness.” You said, taking a seat while he grabbed some drinks from the fridge.

“Yeah, once you told me that you taught how to make it on your course, I just bought the course and learned how to perfect it.” Your eyes widened as you turned to him.

“That’s like a $150 course Mark, I could’ve just taught you.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, would it?” He said, sitting down across from you looking at you with a smug smile.

“Plus, you’ve helped me learn how to cook too, I’ve saved so much money cooking at home.”

You nodded, taking a bite out of the food he made, your eyes widening as you grinned.

“You’re good at it too. This is delicious Mark.”

“Ah thank you man, but I learned it from you.” 

You guys finished eating, and started decorating the cookies together, the show playing in the background, but Mark rushed you two, hesitant about you opening up your gift.

“Fine, I’ll open it.” You said, grabbing the card off the box, opening it, a nice purple hand written note on the card. You read it slowly, taking in every word.

Dear Y/n, there’s so much I want to say, but I don’t think words could explain it, and I know I’m probably harassing you about this present right now aren’t I haha? But it’s only because I want to show how much I care about you. Im so glad that we met and I hope you have the best birthday and many more after that.

- Love Mark

“Aw thank you Mark.” You said, pulling him into a hug before you grabbed the box, opening it slowly. He sat there a huge smile on his face, breathing deeply, looking at you with anticipated eyes, his leg bouncing as your eyes widened.

“MARK NO YOU DIDNT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.” You screamed, pulling the pot and pan set out of the box, looking up at him, mouth wide as you looked back at the box.

“Mark this set goes for like 400 dollars- Mark I can’t- Mark how did you- nobody has done anything like this for me before.” You spoke, each sentence shortening with hiccups as your eyes started tearing up. 

“It didn’t take me long to save up for, and it’s the least I could do for messing up one of your pans.” He said.

“The most you should’ve done is get a cheaper pan.” You wiped your tears with your hands, looking at the box again wondering it was all just a dream.

“The amount of times you’ve forced me to binge Hell’s Kitchen with you, you really thought I wasn’t gonna get you your favorite chefs pots and pans set that you talk about all the time?”

“No.” You snuffled, vision blurry.

“Well you deserve it Y/n, happy birthday!” He smiled brightly.

“Thank you so much Mark.” You smiled, blinking quickly trying to stop your tears, pulling him into a hug. 

“You’re welcome Y/n.”

You didn’t know what love felt like. Always used your whole life, taken for granted. Doing everything yourself with no help, no one to call on, but now you knew, you knew it for sure, you were in love.

February 14th, 9:10 am- a night to remember.

After complaining to Mark about how you've never had a valentines, he suggested that he'd be it this year, and of course you agreed. He told you not to stop by the smoothie shop, or even go on your run today, but to stay and pamper yourself before your going out later the night.

You better not be up running right now.

I was sleep actually before your loud notification woke me up -.-

Oh sorry... go back to sleep •.•

You giggled at the message, obviously you were already up, you were too excited not to be. He said that he planned to take you to a fancy restaurant, then just to go back to his apartment and bake cookies, watch movies, little things like that, but no matter what you do, no matter how cheap, you still were so excited. This was your first Valentine, and your biggest crush. 

The time passed fairly quickly as you prepped yourself for what you thought was going to be the best night of your life. You slipped on your red dress and black heels, soon hearing a knock at your door.

Excitedly you rushed to the door, opening it to see Mark in a white button down shirt and black slacks— and god his scent hit you like a speeding car.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He smiled, a bouquet of roses in his hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You responded, your lips turning into a smile, cheeks hurting from smiling so hard as he handed you the flowers.

“You look good.” He spoke, clearing his throat, an awkward smile painting his face.

“Thank you, I could say the same about you.” You said, smiling brightly as you sat down your flowers, grabbing your purse and a red gift bag before turning to him again.

“This is for you.” You said, handing him the gift bag, a grin on his face as he accepted it.

“Let’s open our gifts later together, ok?” He said.

You nodded, closing the door behind you. 

The dinner was very much delicious, and you two had a great time baking cookies. It was a little bit messy, just because you both were a bit tipsy, well… very tipsy, but it was fun nevertheless.

“Mark let’s open our gifts.” You giggled, as he nodded, grabbing his small gift bag.

He grabbed his gift first, pulling it out and examining it.

“You told me that you wanted to learn how to cook more meals when im not around, and I can’t have you buying my courses again, so I just made you a homemade cookbook— with like only foods that we make together, the ones nobody else has.” You smiled infectiously, Mark feeling a smile curling on his lips just from looking at yours.

“Thank you Y/n, I love it.” He smiled genuinely, handing you the small bag that he had in his hands. You opened it slowly, taking out a small black velvet box.

You looked up at him, an impatient look glimmering in his eyes as you opened it slowly, a beautiful silver diamond necklace sparkling in your eyes.

“Well damn, maybe I should’ve gotten you a better gift.” You giggled, still a little taken aback.

He laughed in response, inching closer to you.

“Do you like it?” He asked, eyes burning into your face for some kind of approval.

“Like it? I love it.” You said, eyes sparkling as you looked up at him.

“Can you help me put it on?” You said, removing the necklace from the box, handing it to mark.

You turned around, lifting up your hair, the necklace wrapping around your neck nicely. His hands rubbing against your skin as he fastened the jewelry. You turned around, your bodies close, Mark looking at the necklace as it sparkled on your skin.

“It’s beautiful.” He murmured, looking at you with a smile, but all you could do was stare— stare deeply into his eyes, god you just wanted to taste him so bad.

Your stares remained interlocked, no one breaking the eye contact, no one saying anything either.

So you did it, leaning in and finally taking his lips onto yours. It wasn’t as magical as you thought though, in all honesty it seemed like it wasn’t even reciprocated.

You broke the kiss, an awkward silence shattering around you as he just stood staring at you.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You stuttered, breaking the silence.

Your eyes burned from holding back the tears that wanted to desperately be let out, you turning and walking away to avoid it— thinking about how your walk home would be, how you would cry deeply regretting how you ruined the day that was supposed to be perfect, but that all got interrupted as you felt a tight grasp on your wrist, turning you back around, a silent tension surrounding the two of you once again.

You looked at him with glossy eyes, a million thoughts rushing around in your brain, but your mind went blank again as his lips crashed back onto yours.

Your shoulders dropped, letting go of all the tension in your body as his hand found your face, pulling you deeper into the kiss.

The kiss grew deeper as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his free hand wrapping around your body, slowly backing you into his room, not breaking the kiss once.

His hands found the zipper of your dress, slowly pulling it down, slipping you out of the tight fabric, you pulling him out of his shirt shortly after.

There were no words exchanged, only heavy breathing as you two kissed passionately, tongues exploring each other’s mouths as he pushed you onto his bed.

You sat there, chest heaving up and down as you looked at him pull a condom out of his nightstand, eyes lighting up as you came to your senses about what was really going on.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, ripping the plastic to the condom with his teeth, wrapping it around himself before getting on top of you.

He planted another messy kiss on your lips before pulling down your underwear, lining up his tip to your aching hole.

You breathed heavily in anticipation, you practically have dreamt of this moment. He looked at you once more for reassurance before pushing himself into you. You let out a gasp, your walls wrapping tightly around him. He started to thrust at a slow pace, making sure you were comfortable before speeding up.

Your skin flushed as you squirmed under him, beautiful sounds of lust filling the room as his head rested on your shoulder, face nuzzling into your neck.

Loud moans filled the room as your bodies pressed into each others as he thrusted even faster, letting out moans and curses as your walls sucked him in.

You wrapped your hand around his bare back, scratching and itching at his bare skin as your bodies thrashed together.

“Fuck I’m almost there.” You whimpered out, clenching around him, breath hitching causing him to let out a low moan into your neck.

“Me too Y/n.” He moaned, desperately thrusting.

His hands found your arms, removing them from his back and holding onto them tightly, fingers interlocking with yours as his thrust became messier and messier by the second.

“Fuck I’m coming.” He cried out, your legs shaking in sync as he forced himself to do a few more aimless thrust, both of you moaning loudly as he rode out your highs.

The room filled with heavy breathy, you sitting there silently trying to fathom what even just happened. 

You two got cleaned up and went to sleep right after, well he did.

You couldn’t sleep though, the realization struck a cord in your brain, your mind racing from the thought that he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him, it was obviously so exciting.

You couldn’t wait to wake up together— wake up together knowing that he was yours and you were his.

You wonder what that conversation would sound like, what the moment would feel like when you two could finally call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, it had your cheeks growing warm. I guess you could say it was the best night of your life.

You shut your eyes, vivid pictures of him filled the dark void until you finally found yourself asleep.

February 15th, 11:25 am - he loves me, he loves me not.

You woke up, Mark sleeping soundly beside you, smiling strongly as you realized it really wasn’t a dream.

You hopped up excitedly, going to his kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the both of you, Mark waking up shortly before the food was ready.

“Good morning.” He said, taking a seat at the dining table.

“Good morning.” You smiled, plating the food and bringing it to him, taking a seat across from him.

You two sat awkwardly, Mark avoiding eye contact as he ate his food. You couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t just sit around and wait till he brought up the topic.

You were so curious as to what you guys were now— and you weren’t going to technically ask him out, but you just wanted some clarity, just wanted to hear him say that you were more than friends, so you took a deep breath interrupting the silence: “Mark, I have a question.”

He looked at you, his eyes looking into yours as if he knew what was coming.

“What’s up?” He said, moving the food around on his plate with his fork.

“What- what are we?” You asked, titling your head, looking at him, but only being returned with broken eye contact.

He chewed his food silently, his body shifting in his chair. He looked back up at you, playing with his food once again, the fork scrapping on the plate somehow louder than the silence that surrounded the both of you.

“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?” He swallowed, looking at you with a slight frown on his face.

“You don’t wanna be more than that though?” You asked, speaking softly as you innocently glanced at him.

He held his breath, looking everywhere except for your eyes as he answered agonizingly slow, and quietly: “No, not really.”

You felt your heart shatter as he still avoided eye contact, a million thoughts flooding your mind as you bit your lip.

“So why did you- why did we do that last night?” You asked.

“Well, I thought it was a friend thing, just us being tipsy.” He finally looked into your eyes, his answer only making your heart shrink smaller.

You held your composure well, but he noticed the subtlest shift in your eyelids along with the gloss that coated your eyes.

“Friends don’t fuck, or use each other when they’re horny and drunk ” You spat out, growing less patient of his answers by the second.

“Well, you kissed me first- I didn’t know what to do.” He shrugged, voice going a few octaves higher.

“The kiss where I apologized after I thought it wasn’t reciprocated? The kiss where you fucking pulled me back when I was trying to leave? That kiss Mark?” Anger spurred inside you as your voice grew more and more aggressive.

He grew quiet, silence filling the room once again as he looked at you with eyes full of pity— it drove you almost insane.

“Fuck this.” You said, storming to his room to grab any of your belongings.

“I didn’t wanna lose you Y/n.” He said, rushing after you.

“Oh so you decided to lead me on for what- fucking months? You thought that would’ve kept me here Mark? Flirting with me, watching me fall in love with you, then rejecting me and blaming it on me kissing you- AFTER I APOLOGIZED AND LITERALLY TRIED TO LEAVE? Not losing me was the last thing on your mind.” You picked up the remaining items, stuffing your bag rushingly.

“You- you fell in love with me?” He mumbled, standing in the doorway looking at you in sorrow.

“Yes Mark, I fell love you. I fell in love with your eyes, your smile, your fucking everything, and I thought you felt the same way about me, but obviously I’m nothing but a pity party to you.” You looked at him, tears finally spurring from your eyes as you started to break down from his silence.

“Fucking say something.” You said in a painful whisper.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you? I can’t lie to you like that Y/n, you deserve better than that.” Your eyes winced in pain as you stared at him silently.

“Wait no Y/n, that’s not what I meant, I do love you, you’re my best friend I love you a lot, but-”

You interrupted him, grabbing your bag and walking to the door where he was standing, removing your necklace.

“Stop Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that.” He spoke in deep sympathy and guilt.

“You looked me directly in my eyes when you said that, you meant every word. I hope you’re happy.”

Your last words almost squeaked out as your throat tightened, tears streaming down your hot cheeks as you handed him back the necklace.

“Please Y/n, stay— so we can talk about it.” He spoke lightly, blocking the doorway.

You could hear he was being genuine, but you didn’t care at that point. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, move Mark.”

“Y/n-”

“move.” You spoke sternly, all he could do was move out of the way and watch as the person he cared for the most walk out his life.

The walk home has probably been the worst and most embarrassing one ever. Your vision blurry as tears violently streamed down your face, wailing as the scene played over and over in your head. You thought he was different, but you guess everyone was the same. You promised to yourself that night that you will never ever deal with that ever again, and no matter what you’re done with him.

February 21st, 9:47pm- please, I love you.

It had been a week since the incident, and to say that you were exhausted was an understatement.

You were more numb than anything right now, finding a new route to run so you didn’t have to run into the smoothie shop, avoiding places that you were most likely to run into each other at, trying to forget about the incident, forget about him— but oh no he didn’t let you.

He would send messages every day, every hour, and it drove you almost insane, but for some reason you couldn’t block him, and deleting his number out of impulse didn’t do anything. 

Good morning, I hope you’re doing ok, again I’m so sorry.

You bet he is…

Hey, can we please talk?

Nope.

Plz just respond and tell me you’re okay.

Did he really think you were? 

You can be mad at me, you can hate me, but please let me apologize in person

Ugh, for someone who wasn’t in love with you, he would not leave you alone. 

But you would just ignore it, leave him on delivered for hours, opening the message when you felt like it. Sometimes you would even act like you were responding to the message when you felt him watching your text bubble, just to mess with him— you deserved to fuck around with him after all.

One day you got another message.  

 I’m outside, please come out, I’ll wait for hours if I have to. 

Was he serious, this was starting to get obsessive. Why couldn’t he just take the hint. 

You did what you always did, left him on read, and went on about your business, but 30 minutes later you were curious about if he was actually still waiting.

After beating yourself up for caring so much you decided to check his location, and there he was, sitting in the same place. You sat there for a minute, contemplating if you should go out— for goodness sakes it was like 40 degrees outside so this was some serious commitment on his part, plus this could be a good way to get rid of him, right? 

Right…

You grabbed your coat and slipped on your boots, making your way outside to where he was sitting. He jolted up, eyes widening from the fact that you did come outside.

He stood up, trying to hand you a flower.

“I don’t want it.” You declined, shaking your head before sitting on the bench. He nodded his head understandingly.

“How are you?” He asked, sitting beside you on the bench.

“What do you have to say?” You replied curtly, looking forward to avoid his gaze on you. You knew if you looked at him in his sorry eyes you might’ve just folded right then.

“Well, I just want to say that I’m so sorry Y/n. I truly am. I never meant to hurt you and I’m so stupid for leading you on, and making you feel like you mean so little to me. I- I guess I was just scared to lose you, which I know is not an excuse and I’m very sorry. I love and care for you a lot ok. You deserve so much more than what I gave you, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t act that way. I should’ve told you that I didn’t want a relationship from the jump and I’m so sorry that I’m realizing that now when it’s too late. You’re my best friend and by your side is where I’m meant to be. You have the right to be selfish and I know that I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you, but please, please just give me one more chance. I care about you so much and I need you in my life. Please.”

You sat there, a tear rolling down your cold, numb cheeks.

You didn’t want to trust him again, and you’ve said this before and it went terribly wrong, but no one has ever done or said anything to you like this before.

“Mark, listen.” You gulped down the sadness that lingered in your throat and began to speak clearly.

“I love you more than anything, and I would be willing to forgive, but do you realize how embarrassing this is? To be rejected like that— to be told those words, those excuses, and take you back, even as a friend this quickly, this fast. Sorry, but I would have no self respect for that. So that being said, I have to think about this.”

You paused, turning to him.

“But you have to leave me alone, you have to let me figure this out myself. I feel grateful that you feel pity and that you feel enough remorse to be here right now on a cold winter night, but you have to give me space, do you understand me? I need space from you.” 

“I understand. I’ll give you space.” He said nodding, looking at you with a frown on his face.

“Anything else?” You asked, standing up as he shook his head no, grabbing your wrist before walking off.

“Thank you, for coming out and talking.”

You said nothing, only nodding in response, pulling his fingers off your wrist, walking back up to your apartment.

February 28th, 8:36 pm- forgiveness, could you imagine?

It had been about a week since you and Mark talked, and trust it was the most confusing week.

You didn’t know whether to be sad, happy, or relieved.

Didn’t know if you would forgive, or just forget and move on.

He respected your wishes, no more annoying text anymore, but that didn’t make you feel good— and honestly made you think about him more, worried about if he was ok or not.

You knew it was bad, and you knew he didn’t even deserve to be thought about right now, but you cared for him and you couldn’t deny that.

So… after sitting for hours, thinking, you decided to forgive. 

Hey, I wanted to reach out so I wouldn’t leave you hanging on the matter, even tho you deserve it lol. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I decided to forgive you and would like to continue on as friends. I will never forget this and will take every comment you make seriously and correct you if I think something is misleading. It might not go back to the way it was right away, so don’t force it. And I guess that being said, I’ll see you tomorrow morning during my run.

Thank you so much Y/n, I really appreciate it, and I’ll try my best to be the best friend to you ever. I’ll try not to cross any boundaries and take your feelings deeply into consideration. I’ll see you tomorrow :)

So, I guess you broke your promise. You honestly just wanted your friend back, and even though you’re heartbroken, you still love him. This is your problem actually, too nice for this world, always forgiving, but you would work on that later, but right now you had to deal and learn from it. You know it sounds stupid, but even though he’s the one that broke your heart, he’s also the one who gave you a shoulder to lie on while you cry to him about it, so you’ll be okay. The things you would do for love. 

May 16th, 9:00 am - for me.

I had been 3 months since the whole incident happened between you and Mark. After a while you got tired of correcting his comments, and got the hint that was just being nice, so you let it go, along with your feelings for him. Basically, everything was back to normal, but he was way more— how do you say? Kinder, which seemed impossible given the fact of how your friendship has always been, but now it was very noticeable. You just chopped it up to him wanting to proof himself to you, and redeem himself from… past situations.

Unfortunately you had to break some bad news to him though.

Hey, can we meet at the park?

Yea sure, is everything ok?

You didn’t respond. 

You two were sitting on the bench that shared so much history, talking and getting off track per usual, but you finally had to spill the news. 

“Mark, I’m-” You took a deep breath, turning to your body towards him. 

“Mark I’m moving back home.” You said, Marks eyes glistening a mournful sparkle as he heard the words come out your mouth.

“W-why?” He asked, voice cracked a little as he stared at you. 

“Well, my mom is dead ok. And I- I feel like I’ve messed everything up and I need to go back to find myself, like find myself fully and heal instead of running away from my problems.” Your voice was confident, yet stuttered as you spoke. 

“When did your mom die, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, voice curious and worried. 

“Shit I didn’t even know she died until a week ago. I feel like even though we didn’t have a good relationship, I could’ve at least been there you know, not just for my mom, but for my whole family.” 

“I understand, and I’m so proud of you for trying to heal and be the bigger person, even though your family wasn’t the bigger person for you. When do you leave?” He asked.

You took another deep breath, biting your lip. “Next week.” 

“That soon!?” He said, his voice clamorous. 

“That soon… but let’s make this last week fun, and memorable and not mourn about it, ok?” 

“Ok.” He nodded. 

You both just sat in silence as you let the date sink in.

You claimed that you wanted to heal, and that you couldn’t stop running away from your problems, but here you were— running away from your biggest one. You thought that you wanted to keep in contact when you left, but in all honesty, you weren’t so sure. But you guess time would tell.

May 20th, 2:00 pm - this is goodbye

So here it is, your last hangout, the last time you would probably see him for a while, and it was memorable— you guess?

You two decided to go to an amusement park, and then the aquarium. You were having a great time, but you kept noticing his stares, exchanging glances every once in a while, it was very weird. 

“What?” You kept asking, his eyes widening in, obviously forceful confusion and innocence.

“Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all man.” He would respond each time, shrugging his shoulders. 

You were in the aquarium, holding the stuff animal that he bought you tightly in your arms. 

“Y/n, I have to tell you something.”  He spoke, clearing his throat. 

“What’s up?” You turned to him, a wide smile on your face as you looked him in the eyes. 

“I um-” he paused, gulping and biting his lip nervously as you stared at him with curious eyes.  

“I just wanted to say that I’m gonna miss you and I hope we stay close.” He smiled, sticking his thumb up awkwardly.

“Aww me too Mark.” You smiled in return, pulling him into a hug.

Finally you were back to your apartment after a long, but fun day with him. He wanted you to come over so he could prepare some dinner for you, but you knew that you were going to be exhausted tomorrow from the move so you respectfully declined, letting him know that you needed rest. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then huh?” You said, a bittersweet smile on your face as you looked at his gleaming eyes.

“I guess it is. You’ll visit right?” He questioned.

“Of course I will, and you can come visit me whenever you want too. There’s a lake nearby that I think you’d love.” You smiled.  

“Ok, I’ll definitely visit for sure.” He nodded. A comforting silence surrounding the two of you as you just stared at each other.

“Well, I have to get going.” You said, breaking the silence, a grin on your face. 

“Ok. I’ll see you later… bye y/n!” 

“Bye Mark!” You smiled, turning away to walk to your apartment, looking behind you once more, a smile on his face as he waved.

You never thought that your story would end this soon. Even, though— or, if you, remained friends, you knew it would never be the same no matter how much you visit or text each other, but that’s okay, you were fine with it… right?

May 21st, 8:36 pm - I’m home.

Hey, just checking to see if you got there smoothly?

Yep, all moved in lol

Great I’m glad, I’ll definitely be coming soon;) but anyways, I’ll let you get some rest. Talk to you later

Talk to you later :)

May 21st, 12:23 am - hate me forever.

❥ 1 new voice message from - mark

I know you might hate me forever after this, but I was thinking about it and it’s best if I just told you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and it seems like all I do is fuck your life over, but Ive gotten it all wrong anyways, so I might as well confess now. Fuck Y/n, I think- I think I’m in love with you. You’re going to be so pissed off with me and I was about to tell you yesterday before you left, but you looked so happy and I didn’t wanna ruin it with my own personal feelings like I always do. I thought I didn’t want to be with you, I thought I never would want to be with anyone ever, but you made me realize that I do and I feel like there was a reason that I kissed you, tipsy or not. Well I did more than just kiss you, but nevermind that. Sorry. I don’t know why I said that sorry. Anyways sorry, I um dude I’m actually like, this is like frustrating, but I hope that we can still be close even though we don’t live near each other anymore. And yeah, I thought to tell you this so you could reject me and get your revenge you know? Sorry I don’t know why I said that either- sorry for saying that- whyd I- anyways, man I just- ok turn this off actually, but I- I love you Y/n and I hope we stay close, wait dude didn’t I just say that? I don’t know anymore man ok bye- love you- bye.

Don’t listen to that I was drunk :/

Getting drunk the day I leave, miss me already? ;)

Ha you’re funny. Don’t listen tho seriously

Ok fine I won’t .-.

What the fuck.

You obviously listened to it, the first thing you heard in the morning and all you could do was sit in your bed shocked.

You never thought this day would ever come, nor prepared yourself for it.

There was nothing you could do, he fumbled, and you had lost feelings. That was his fault sorry not sorry, but as the week went on you could only think about that message.

It ran through your mind over and over again, and the more you thought about, the more you wanted him.

No matter how much you tried to force your feelings away and tell yourself that you didn’t have them anymore, you can never deny love you feel for someone else, never. 

You loved Mark, and you needed to talk to him.

May 30th, 8:00 pm - we can't be friends.

It had been about a week after the voice message, and you tried to ignore everything. Tried to ignore your feelings, your families nagging and constant toxicity, and tried to ignore him running through your mind. You both haven’t talked since then, I guess he was too guilty to even try and you just let it go.

“Y/n, there’s someone here for you.” You heard screaming from downstairs. 

Your brows furrowed in curiosity as you made your way downstairs. 

You went to the front door, opening it to see Mark standing there. Your eyes widening as he stood at the door with a cheeky smile. 

“Mark what are you doing here!?” You asked, slipping on your sandals and walking outside, shutting the door behind you.

“I told you I would come soon.” He smiled. 

“How did you even find my address?” Your forehead crinkled as you looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“We share locations.” He answered quickly, swirls of passion in his eyes. 

“Mark, that’s like- kinda weird.” You answered, a chuckle escaping your lips as he scratched the back of his head.

“Man, I just be checking sometimes, just to make sure you’re ok. Now can you show me this lake that you talked about, it’s all that’s been running through my mind.” 

“Yes mark I can show you the lake.” You said, grabbing a blanket and your phone. 

You two sat at the lake, watching the sunset, talking like you haven’t seen each other for months.

As you two talked, him confessing kept crossing your mind, really it was all that you could think of actually.

You didn’t know if you should just leave it alone like he did, tell him that you knew and that it was ok, or just tell him you like him first to see if he says anything.

You honestly didn’t know how it would affect the relationship between the two of you, but you just wanted to say something at least, and you weren’t upset like he thought. 

“Mark.” You begun, swallowing the anxiety that crawled up your chest into your throat. 

He didn’t even respond, just looked at you blankly, his eyes hinting a bit of worry. 

“I listened to the voice message.” You mumbled. 

His face dropped, ears turning red as he opened his mouth to say something, lip quivering as the words got stuck.

You could feel his heart race even though you weren’t even touching him. He paused for a second, then his voice sounded in fast and high pitch words. 

“Y/n, I’m seriously like so sorry. I know that had to be confusing and I honestly wish that I deleted it before you listened dude, swear. You did not deserve to be tangled up in my feelings-” 

“Don’t worry, it’s mutual.” You interrupted. 

“And I just- wait what?” He paused, looking at you with confusion in his eyes, but a bit a relief in his voice.

“It’s mutual.” You nodded, just as surprised of your words as Mark at that point. 

“But I thought you stopped liking me?” His said, his voice sounding flabbergasted. Eyes twinkling as he looked into yours. 

“I did, but I never stopped loving you, and I guess that counts right?” You said, a small grin on your face as his face lit up. 

“So- so would you be with me? Would you be my girlfriend Y/n?” He asked, turning to you, voice high pitched and excited as his eyes went brighter and wide. 

“I would… if you promise to never leave me alone, if you promise to always be there with and for me?” You answered, eyes sparkling as a smile crept on your face from just looking at him. 

“I promise Y/n. I’m not letting you go again. I want us to be together forever if it’s possible.” He spoke, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hands, holding them tightly. 

“Ok, well then- I would love to be your girlfriend Mark.” Your cheeks hurt as you smiled strongly, your words full of warmth. 

“But wait, there’s something we’re forgetting.” He paused, you humming in response as he grabbed something from his coat pocket. 

He held up the shimmering diamond necklace, your eyes sparking as you looked at it with a smile. 

“Do you just carry that around with you? That’s weird.” You asked, giggling to yourself. 

“Call me what you want bro, but it’s yours.” 

He smiled, signaling you to turn around so he could put it on you. 

“Wow this is so excited I could just kiss you.” He squealed as you turned around.

You raised your eyebrows, a smirk painting your face as you starred at him. He blinked quickly, a smirk appearing on his face shortly after yours. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, cheekbones defined from blushing. 

“Yes. You can kiss me.” You responded, nodding as your cheeks grew warm as the smile on your face began to hurt from how big it was. 

He smiled, grabbing your face and pulling it to his, looking at your eyes before leaning in.  The taste was familiar, yet so much sweeter. You wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him even closer to you, lips not leaving each others. 

Now this is what you could call magical— no regrets, no alcohol, just love. 

July 7th, 9:38 am. - my darling.

“Happy one year- meetiversary?” He spoke. 

You giggled, meeting him at the counter, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he handed you a mango smoothie.

“Whatever happened to the watermelon ones?” You asked. 

You were relieved for sure, but still curious because after your birthday he stopped giving them to you. 

“I thought you didn’t like them?” He asked, his eyebrow raised as he titled his head. 

“Did I tell you that?” You paused, looking at him with confused eyes. 

“No, but I could tell from like the first day I gave you one.” 

“So if you could tell I didn’t like it, why’d you keep making them for me?” You questioned, head titling. 

“Oh I just wanted to mess with you, see how long it would take for you to crack, but you didn’t, surprisingly.” He said, a smirk appearing on his face.

“So why Mangos now?” You raised your eyebrow questionably. 

“It’s your favorite fruit.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Y/n It was in your 4 hour cooking course. You mentioned how it was your favorite fruit.” He answered, you nodding in response understandably before tilting your head once again. 

“But you bought the one with my favorite meal, the 2 hour one?” You said, causing his lips to curl into a smile.

“Oops.” 

You hit him playfully, scolding him about not buying your classes anymore and that you were right there to teach him, but he never listened regardless so you stopped wasting your breath. 

You two were long distance for a tad bit, but he finally convinced you to come back so you could be closer again, and trust you took it deeply into consideration after you kept getting in fights with your family when you moved back home. So you’re back.

Sometimes you just sit and think about what if you never moved in the first place. How would your life be? Nevermind that, you just felt grateful to have him and he felt the same about you. It’s been a year since you and Mark have met, and to say that it’s been an emotional rollercoaster was an understatement. Your connection was for sure a journey, and every step of the way, no matter if it was sad or happy, it brought the two of you where you meant to be— together. 

September 15th, 5:39 pm (5 years later) - I’ll never let you go.

Sorry to bother you on your run, but do you think you can pick her up some diapers otw home?

Delivered at 8:30 am

Y/n omg she’s crying so hard, she misses her mom, come back soon :(

Delivered at 9:30 am

Sorry, I’ll leave you alone, but I’m telling the truth about her crying.

Delivered at 9:31 am

Y/n, it’s been an hour, where are you? Why is your location off?

Delivered at 10:42 am

Y/n where are you? I’m becoming very upset, text back. 

Delivered at 12:38 pm

baby, are you okay? Why aren’t you picking up my calls?

Delivered at 2:09 pm

Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry if I did, plz come home so we could talk about it. 

Delivered at 5:00 pm

About 30 minutes, I got a call that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Hello is this the husband of Y/n L/n?”

You always told me that you would list me first for your emergency contacts, but I didn’t think anything of it. 

“I’m sorry to inform you, but she was involved in a very bad hit and run car accident. Please come down here as soon as possible so we can discuss the matter with you.” 

My heart trembled at the call, I couldn’t even stand straight.

Your long time friend, your roommate met me at the hospital, taking our baby girl out of my hands before I went into the hospital room, hands shaking every step of the way to you.

When I saw you, my heart sunk, it had to have been a nightmare, no way this was real.

I couldn’t even make it fully in the room before turning and walking out the door. Screaming, tears streaming down my face as I tried to find who did this to you. Thank god our baby was there, gave me a reason to not find him and kill him myself.

The doctors helped me calm down and I finally walked in fully, trying to hold my composure as I got closer to you.

They had you hooked up to all this complicated equipment, but all I could see was you.

I took a seat by your side, tears falling from my eyes as the doctors gave me a minute to spend with you quietly. 

“She’s brain dead. The impact of the car sent her into cardiac arrest and the impact from the fall added severe damages to her brain”

I heard that from beside me, a sorrowed voice that just sunk into my brain, carving the words harshly into my heart.

My eyes shut as I wrapped my hand around yours.

You were cold, and that only made my heart shatter more.

“Is there anyway she’ll wake up? Anything?”

I tried to speak, but my voice cracked and squeaked as I saw the doctor’s forcefully cold expression, sympathy in his eyes as he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do but pull the plug, but that’s a decision for you Mr. Lee.” 

Tears were in my eyes, my face focused as I stared at you. I was in my right mind— I think, but I couldn’t help my emotions that began to flow out. 

“Can- can she feel anything?”

I asked, my voice cracked as I looked at your face.

No matter how cut up it was you still looked so beautiful. 

“No.” The doctor spoke. 

“So then, I guess that’s the only thing to do right?”

I mumbled, small hiccups escaping my throat as the doctor nodded in agreement, leaving me in the room with you alone for a few more minutes. 

I felt numb when I heard that long agonizing beep, couldn’t feel anything but tickling tears rolling down my cheek as I looked at your face.

I could hear faint sounds of your roommate crying, along with our babies cries ringing in my ear, but I couldn’t do anything— I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I was shattered. 

I love you y/n. I will love you forever, and the day that I die, I’ll look for you, and only you.

May 30th, 6:46 pm (4 years later) - interminable

Happy anniversary y/n

it’s been 9 years since I asked to be your boyfriend haha time flies so fast doesn’t it?

Oh, our precious baby girl is 5 years old now, whatttt.

She loves you so much, always ask for stories about her mom, wants to be a chef just like you. 

It’s funny because guess what? she hates watermelon smoothies too. She tried to lie, but I saw it in her face. Reminds you of someone huh? 

Yk I still remember laughing to myself every time I gave you those smoothies, you tried so hard to act like it was good, but I could tell.

I still listen to your voice messages, the ones you always told me that your laugh sounded ugly, remember? Well I think it sounds beautiful, your laugh never fails to crack me up. 

Oh and guess what? I have a surprise. Are you ready? you’re gonna be so happy.

I met Gordon Ramsey! Are you jealous lol? Don’t worry I bragged to him about you, he said you sounded lovely. It always amazes me how talented you are.

I know you’re smiling so hard aren’t you? You wouldn’t leave me for Gordon Ramsey right?

Wait also before you get mad at me, of course I still have the cookbook

And yes I still cook every recipe out of that book, even the one with the sauce that always made me fart, god you hated that one. 

I still think about you everyday 

And I still miss you so much

Like really really miss you. 

Y/n, I really really really fucking miss you 

And I still love you, I will never stop loving you. 

Happy anniversary.

I love you too Mark, happy anniversary.

So, yes you’re not here anymore, but he made a promise to you, and he kept it. You will always love him, and be there for him and watch over him and your child. You don't always need a body to live on, all you need is a heart, and as long as he's living, your heart resides with his. 

©mafiadad5

[reidrum]

if you keep asking | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

a/n: this was requested with “if you keep asking me i’m not gonna be okay” or smth along the lines 😭 i am a glutton for hurt/comfort fics so if yall have any more requests send em in :)

summary: in which you’re trying to keep it together when you hear some detectives talking ill of you, and spencer isn’t gonna have it

cw: hurt/comfort, self deprecation, insecure!reader, bitch ass detectives, protective bau my heart, use of she/her pronouns

wc: 2.2k

_______

the bau team was filing into the bullpen after landing from their last case in seattle, everyone making a beeline for their desks to get a head start on their reports so they could go home faster. everyone, except you. it felt like you were on autopilot, remembering your last known movements and just repeating them for as long as you could.

the case in seattle was rough to say the least. the unsub’s mo seemed to change every minute, making any progress the team made obsolete. the only thing that seemed to be somewhat consistent was where the unsub was taking his victims, which meant the geographical profile was the most important part to solving the case, a task you and reid were assigned to.

it started off fine, you both had found the comfort zone of where the unsub would strike next to figure out how to catch him in the act. except the next time he struck it was completely out of the predicted range, and this time a kid had died. no one could have anticipated that happening. it didn’t make the loss hurt any less.

the team knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, humans are unpredictable, and that includes serial killers. spencer made sure to tell you specifically that it wasn’t your fault, he knew how you’d get if someone didn’t tell you.

his efforts went to utter waste when you walked by a room at the precinct with detectives whispering about how “you fucked up the whole profile, that’s why that kid died” and “it’s clear you make the team stupider, how did you even get into the fbi in the first place?”

it wasn’t the first time your abilities were in question. you were the newest member of the team, having only transferred six months ago from cold cases. you may be new to the field, but there was a reason hotch chose you personally for the bau.

you tried hard to prove yourself, despite pretty much everyone saying your skillset was enough proof. you’d stay late to finish reports, do extra research on cases to help garcia narrow her searches faster, and you spent countless hours at the training range.

you were a worthy agent, anyone who knew you or read your resume knew that. but right now, you felt like the smallest person on earth, an imposter. what the hell were you even doing here if you couldn’t save him.

you shouldn’t be allowed to feel relief that the team caught the unsub, not when there’s blood on your hands.

the bad thoughts swirling in your head causes you to stall your motions when you’re putting files away, gaining the attention of morgan, “you alright, sweet cheeks?”

“i’m good morgan, don’t worry.” you lie effortlessly. if he can tell you’re lying, he doesn’t mention it and turns back to his work.

taking a deep breath, you stand up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, when you run into jj finishing up making her own, “i was just thinking about you, i got this new creamer i think you’d rea-, hey, are you okay?” jj starts but ends concerned.

you try to focus on metronomic tick of the clock so you dont escalate, “i’m fine j,” you laugh unconvincingly, “what creamer did you get?”

she ignores your question, “because i know that was a tough case, and if you need to talk about it with someo-“

“jj, drop it, please.”

the blonde’s face drops a little at your sternness, but respects your space and offers you to try the creamer before returning to her desk. you feel bad for snapping at her, but the growing guilt within you is giving you apathy, and you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment.

you linger in the kitchen so as to avoid any more concerned faces, and you’re left to your own devices that are slowly overtaking you.

unbeknownst to you, spencer had been watching you since you all landed back in quantico. he kept his distance, mostly because he knew how overwhelmed you get at confrontation, especially about your emotions. he was the same way, a man of logic getting befuddled by emotion was enough cognitive dissonance to last a long time.

he knew it was different with you. you had a way of internalizing everything in your surrounding, a downfall to your endless empathy for others even if they never deserve it. he could explain the logic behind your beliefs, and hopefully use facts to help you relax, but that was the other thing he knew about you; you were stubborn. asking for help is something you hated doing, and if it wasn’t on your accord to be asking, it was even more detrimental to your mood.

so when he watched you duck out from the kitchen and push past the glass doors of the bullpen, he knew you were reaching the head of your doom spiral quickly.

spencer got up from his desk, “i’m gonna go check on her.”

jj nodded, “just be mindful spence, something feels different.”

they’d all been on cases that hit a little too close to home, how could they not when all they do is rid the world of the evilest of evildoers. but after a good cry, a rant to a teammate, or even an emergency therapy session, even the worst of the scum could be washed away.

something about the way you’ve been acting since they landed seemed like those fixits aren’t going to work this time.

he let out a sigh in response and walked out of the bullpen, realizing he didn’t actually know which direction you went in. assuming you’d want to be alone, he thinks the bathroom might’ve been a viable option for you and heads towards it.

the nice thing about the seventh floor is that it’s only for the bau, the bullpen was where the team spent most of their time but outside the doors there were so many empty rooms being used for storage.

so as spencer walked towards the bathroom in the hopes of finding you, his ears pick up on a tiny sniffle a little ways before it. he stops in his tracks, hoping he was just hearing things. but another pained sob rang through the door on his left, and he knew he’d found you.

he rapps the door a few times, softly calling your name, “hey, it’s spencer…can i come in please?”

you were on the other side sitting at one of the abandoned desks with your head down, but shot up at hearing spencer’s voice, “i- i’m fine i just needed a minute. i’ll be back in like two minutes, i promise.” you angrily wipe at the tears pooling on your face, grateful that you took your makeup off in the plane.

“honey, that’s not what i asked,” he starts, “is it okay if i come in?

your heart clenches at the term of endearment as you stare at the door knowing he was waiting for your okay to come in, and you start to internally weigh your options. you could let him in, and let him in to do whatever comforting you know logically would help. or you could lie, and feign ignorance to the end.

don’t they say ignorance is bliss?

you make sure to wipe the last of your tears and your runny nose before practicing a few fake smiles so it didn’t look like your face was frozen in sadness for the last thirty minutes. turning the knob you swing the door open, borderline creepy smile on your face as you greet the man, “hi dr. reid! was there something you were looking for?”

he furrows his brows at your complete (fake) shift in mood, but he comes in and shuts the door behind him, and moves to stand a few feet from you, “what’s going on?”

“nothing spence, i’m fine.” you insist.

spencer thinks if you could be more see through you’d be a windexed window. you’re avoiding eye contact with him, picking at the skin of your thumb, he can see your nose is red most likely from all the tissue blowing, and your eyes are still puffy and lined with some unshed tears still. you are so clearly breaking at the seams, like an old childhood teddy bear with stuffing falling out the sides yet hoping you can offer some semblance of stability despite your state.

“you don’t look fine, honey. why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”

his words almost make you falter, and you think the walls you built so high are starting to chip down. “it’s not a big deal spence, i-,” a hiccuped breath gives you away, “i can deal with it on my own.”

spencer instinctively shortens the gap between you two, “you shouldn’t have to. i just wanna help you.”

“but i’m oka-“

“no you’re not.”

there is only one tiny thin thread left holding you together. “well,” you take a deep inhale and your voice gets impossibly small, “if you keep saying things like to me i’m not gonna be okay.”

“that’s why i’m here.” he says softly.

you look up at him with the biggest glassy doe eyed look he’s ever seen, and it’s like spencer can hear the snap of the thread in real time when he watches your face absolutely crumble. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, allowing him to hold your head down in the middle of his chest while his other hand smooths up and down your back in comfort.

“i know, shh, hey it’s okay, i got you.” he comforts.

your hands wrap around his waist beneath his suit jacket and you keep your face buried in his chest, inhaling the musky vanilla scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh laundry detergent smell letting it ground you back to him.

“i’m sorry.” you cry.

“don’t say that,” he hushes, “is it about the case?” you nod in his embrace, “we talked about it remember? there was nothing we could have done. we did everything right, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know that.” he moves his hand to tangle in your hair and rub your head.

“i- i know,” you say through labored breaths. you take a big breath before admitting the true reason for your anguish, “when we were about to leave, i walked by a room with some detectives talking about how i ruined the case and that…i’m the reason the kid died.”

“what?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes hoping to find any indication that you didn’t believe those poisoned words, “we both worked on that geographical profile together, the whole team agreed it was accurate and acted accordingly. what happened was not your fault. at all.” he emphasizes the last two words.

“yeah but…i don’t know maybe i could ha-“

“stop. you can’t do that to yourself. we did what we could with what we had, the burden of that child’s passing does not fall on you. we were only able to find the unsub’s hiding spot when you figured out he’d been going to the same gas station since the murders started.” he reinforced to you.

“they said that they didn’t know how i even got into the academy in the first place, and that i make the team stupider.” you quietly added.

spencer felt the rage consume his body, already planning the ways he was going to obliterate seattle pd. he cradled your head to look at him in the eyes, “listen to me. you are an important asset to this team. you make this team better at what they do, you make me better at what i do. you mean so much to me and the team okay? please don’t forget that.”

he swipes at a fallen tear on your cheek as you tell him between sniffles, “thanks spence…” you hope he understands the sentiment and love you’re trying to exude to him, even thought you’re unable to vocalize it.

“you gotta tell me if something like that happens,” he softly scolds you, “i’ll make sure they lose their fucking jobs.”

you’re about to speak when he cuts you off, “and don’t tell me that we should be the bigger people, because once the rest of the team hears about this, they’re all gonna be fighting over who’s gonna kick the shit out of them.”

you let out a tearful giggle, “you sound really funny when you curse.”

he scoffs, “what the hell, i do not!”

“you sound like a baby duckling that just learned how to say fuck.”

he starts to guide you out of the room and towards hotch’s office so you can recount what happened, “ouch, i’m hurt. i’d like to think the pistol and fbi badge i carry makes me intimidating.”

you giggle again, and spencer puts aside his rage to revel in the fact that you’re feeling better.

when hotch learned of what happened he immediately called seattle pd to file a motion to get those detectives fired, and the rest of the team were secretly praying for a case in seattle again so they could, as spencer predicted, kick the shit out of them.

[tofumixp]

┊PASILYO┊˚✧

┊ONE SHOT┊DAZAI OSAMU X GN!READER┊

words: 1,941

unrequested

additional/warnings: ooc (?), cringe, nausea, mentions of throwing up (light), minor swearing typical Dazai suicide mentions (light), public display of affection, and uhh kising

Happy birthday to my glorious princess, y'all 🗣️‼️

Rays of sunshine outlined the furniture of the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai was at his desk, folding origami when he was supposed to be doing a report. It was one of those quieter days in the office, a rare day where there weren’t many cases to finish.

A buzz from his pocket. Dazai checked the notification, reading a message from none other than you.

|[Nickname]: sneak outside 🙏|

And they say he’s a bad influence…

———

Standing outside the building, you wait for him. It was the perfect weather, the sun decided to be warm—and not in the way where it’s painfully hot to the point that just a short walk would leave someone sweating.

“[Name]!” you easily spot the familiar caramel coat through the small crowd, Dazai happily escaping work to join you. “I got your message,” he remarked, walking until he’s right next to you.

“Happy birthday,”

A beautiful bouquet of flowers entered his field of view, forget-me-nots wrapped in a beautiful light blue. A silk white ribbon tied the thing together, a gift looking alike to the summer sky.

What’s next was a pretty sight, flushed cheeks and a surprised detective. Dazai couldn’t help but go speechless, not one to be used to affection. You almost wanted to tease him about it, but decided not to, showing a twinge of mercy upon the man.

“Hey… Earth to Osamu?” he snapped out of his daze, feeling you tug on his sleeve.

“Ah– uhm,” he makes a poor attempt to cover his embarrassing reaction, covering his face with a hand. It was fun to make him flustered, a feeling you rarely see him have. “Thank you…?”

You scoff at that dry reply, placing the bouquet on his hands before tugging his sleeve again, starting to pull him somewhere. “Come on, I’m spoiling you today, so we better start early if you wanna make the most of it.”

Dazai followed after you, letting you drag him on. It took a while, but he came back to his senses, a soft expression gracing his face at your words. “Really?” he asked, almost tauntingly as he tried to get a specific answer out from you.

“Yeah, yeah,” you answered, walking slower so that you’re side by side. “Whatever you want,” you say, looking at the pathway ahead as you barely conceal the smile on your lips.

“Whatever I want?” a cheeky grin. “Even a double suic–?”

“Anything but that,” you cut him off, turning your head just to see him laughing softly, slightly covering his face with the blue flowers.

The soft appearance of genuine happiness is a great look on your lover.

———

“Let’s try that one again!”

The sheer look of horror on your face was picture worthy. Dazai decided that the perfect way to spend his birthday was to try the roller coasters having motion sickness written all over it. “God, no.”

Sure, you did suggest going to the amusement park, but these aren’t the rides you expected to go to. Dazai was milking everything out of this opportunity, trying out every single attraction in the park but the calm ones.

How many times have you gone to the same roller coaster, now? Thrice? Four times? That drop still gets you. “How the fuck are you not even dizzy…?” you ask, sitting down on a bench to collect yourself

Dazai was laughing at your predicament, earning a glare from you. “Fine, fine, we’ll take a break from the rides,” finally some mercy on your nauseous self.

You sigh, before hunching over slowly, seeing black in the corners of your vision. “Fuck, I think I’m throwing up.” a pat on your back, but the brunet’s not very discreet giggles made it feel like it didn’t help at all.

Luckily, you didn’t start vomiting. You ended up buying him lunch despite his claims of not being hungry, making him sit down on a shaded table to eat. The park had a few food stalls around, so you two had plenty of choices to pick from.

His eyes scanned the selection of food stalls before his gaze landed on one. He perks up a little, tugging on your hand to get your attention. “Hey, let’s get takoyaki.”

You nodded, holding his hand as you went to the food stall, buying him the food he wanted before buying food for yourself. Dazai of course just had to steal your food, taking bits and bites here and there. You didn’t mind… mostly.

“... If you’re gonna end up eating my fries anyway, why didn’t you just buy some?” you ask, as he stole another bite with a shrug. You could only brush it off, wanting to get it over with so you could make most of your time here.

“Because stealing yours tastes better,” he replied, a terrible excuse. A mischievous glint can be seen shining in his brown eyes as his fingers stole another one, not even hiding it at this point now that you pointed it out.

You gave a sigh of defeat, letting him steal as much food as he desires. It was a quick snack break, before you two continued your little birthday celebration, so you just let it pass.

The sun was already shining right above you when you finally got back on your feet, fully recovered to try more attractions. His hand had found yours, as you looked for more things to try out. Dazai’s eyes found themselves following the path of the ferris wheel, the sight of it catching his eye.

Slow, scenic, peaceful—the complete opposite of the previous rides you two have gone on. A grin appeared on Dazai’s face, and he tugged on your hand, pulling you towards the entrance to the ride. “Let’s go on that one,” he says, a hint of eagerness in his voice.

You couldn't help but let out a breath of relief, seeing that he finally chose a calmer ride. The procedure to enter was short, buying a ticket, going in line, before entering the ride.

The gondola was simple, the sleek white car fitting the both of you on one side perfectly. It was slow and gentle, moving bit by bit as it got turned higher into the sky. “Much better than those adrenaline-fuelling ones, huh?” he mentioned, looking at you through his peripherals.

“Yes, actually. At least we can actually converse instead of screaming our lungs out,” you retort, turning from looking out the large windows to him, meeting his gaze with your own.

Dazai held in the laugh settling in his throat, shamelessly seeking your hand to hold again. He loved the contact. “You’re the one screaming out of fear, though,” he pointed out, pulling himself closer to you.

You roll your eyes, allowing him to be as close as he wants—as close as he needs. It took a while, but your capsule eventually reached the top of the circle, getting the highest view.

The brunet decided that you were a headrest at the moment, leaning his head on you before turning to the window on his side, slowly falling silent.

This was what you hoped you could distract him from. That faraway look was in his brown eyes as he looked at something long gone. It was another year. Another year without him, another year he'll slowly grow older than he could ever get.

Another year, and this time, he'll remember him longer than he's known him.

The view outside the windows was breathtakingly beautiful. Yokohama in clear view to both of you. From high-rising buildings to the crystal lake near the park, everything was graced with the warm afternoon light. Yet those brown eyes couldn't find the same warmth you could.

That solemn longing was a look you didn't want to see him make today. You wished his mind wouldn't have to think like this just for a day. Just for a moment. Just for now.

So, you nudge his leg with yours, earning his attention. “You wanna get crab later?” you ask when he turned to look at you, hands on his to hold. You'll distract him for as long as needed. You'll keep him away from those thoughts and bring the warmth he needed on a day he would otherwise hate.

Dazai turned around, snapping out of his train of thought at hearing your question. A smile stretched on his face, grip lightly tightening on your hand. “Of course the answer is yes,” he answered.

At least he doesn't look so solemn now. You subconsciously bring a hand up, brushing a strand of his dark brown hair behind his ear, your touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary. Way longer, actually.

“...touchy today, hm?” he teased, a cover up to him growing flustered under your affection. “What, can't keep your hands to yourself?”

“Don’t even start,” you reply with a threatening edge. Dazai raised his hand in surrender, keeping his silence with a cheeky smirk.

———

Crisp wind blew on your hair, you closed the door behind you in a rush. “Slow down, we just ran up a bunch of stairs–” you gasp out, out of breath as Dazai dragged you to a rooftop. The Agency building's rooftop.

The brunet only chuckled at your reaction, stopping to let you catch your breath. “Alright, alright! We're here anyway.”

You take a deep breath in, the air finally getting in your lungs properly. “We’re here early, you didn't have to– you did not have to drag me and run all the way up,” you groan, wheezing in suffering.

The sun was almost setting, hanging just above the horizon. You two wanted to catch the sunset, deciding that this is the best spot to watch as it settles down the city skyline.

Dazai held your hand, tugging you along to the edge of the building. “This would be a romantic time to die,” *he remarked, making you deadpan.

“Nuh uh,” you retorted, looking at his steps just a little more cautiously in case he decided to swan dive over the edge. “Would be a great time to watch the sunset though.”

As you said that, Dazai looked up, catching the way the skies were painted in pink and orange hues. It was an ethereal scene—one that should be painted to preserve.

You glance to the man beside you, seeing him gaze off into the sunset. It wasn't a lie that he was pretty, with how the sun outlined every feature on his face, basking him in a warm light.

“You’re staring,” he hummed, brown eyes glancing at you, already prepared to send a barrage of teases for catching you in the act.

Confessing you were was the only way out, then. You let out a scoff, the sound half a chuckle. “Yeah,” he turned to you, the sun leaving its last trails of warmth before letting the moon reign in the sky. “Happy birthday.”

Dazai smiled, a soft look on him. “Shouldn’t I get a present?” he asked, leaning towards you with a hint of what he wants. The brunet reached for your hand, pulling them to cup his cheeks.

A fleeting kiss, before another, dragging him closer to press your lips on his. You could feel how the warmth spreads to his face under your touch, feel how he smiles against each kiss.

You hear him giggle, leaning back just enough to speak, still holding his face. “More?”

“More,” he nodded, feeling giddy with each touch. Just for the moment, he felt that life was worth living. You pull him closer, resting your forehead on his.

“Whatever you want.”

[supercorpkid]

How You Get the Girl - Final

Supergirl. Lena Luthor x Reader!, Kara Danvers, Barry Allen.

Word Count: 3335.

Part 1 / Part 2

Lena holds your face firmly, planting kisses all over it, making it impossible for you to move. Not that you would—there's nowhere else you'd rather be. You wouldn't move even if the room was on fire.

"I can't believe this is real." she whispers between kisses. Your cheeks flush, not because of her words, but the raw, desperate sincerity in her voice. It makes you feel like the most amazing person in the entire multiverse.

"Mhm, you know," you say, pausing between her soft pecks on your lips, "I love all this, but maybe we shouldn't be at CatCO anymore."

Lena pulls back slightly, her face betraying a flash of insecurity. Kissing someone that looks exactly like her employee at the workplace, one in a committed relationship even, clearly unsettles her.

"Okay, you're right." She slips into CEO mode so quickly it startles you. Pacing the room, she starts brainstorming. "Should I sell CatCO? Or find someone to run it for me and come back to this Earth on sporadically occasions? But what’s the point? Should we be worrying about which universe we're going to and—"

You get up from the couch, silencing her with a kiss. She's left breathless, lips shiny and red, staring at you as if you've taken all the words from her. "You were asking a lot of important questions, honey, but I was thinking of something else. I meant we should go to your place. I'm pretty sure there's a bed there, and we'd be much more comfortable."

"You know what? You do have good ideas!" She grins, and you can't help but mirror her smile. This smile. This one is new. Something your Earth's Lena never did.

"Look at that, I found a difference," you say, kissing the corner of her mouth. "That smile, I've never seen it before."

"I've never given it before."

You raise your eyebrows, surprised. "It's mine?"

"All yours." Lena says with such depth it knocks the air out of your lungs. And you realize she’s not just talking about the smile.

Lena looks at the ring on your finger, and you give her a nod. There's a lot to be scared of while facing this new reality you both wished into existence, but figuring out where to go next shouldn't be one of them. Yet, Lena's sweaty hands gripping yours tell you she didn't get the memo.

By now, you have traveled to so many Earths that they all look different and somewhat the same. It's hard to explain. The novelty of new worlds has started to wear off.

"Hey Barry!" 

"Y/N!" Barry exclaims, his voice filled with surprise. "And Lena?" His eyes drop to your intertwined hands. "Wait, which Earth are you guys from?"

"Earth-99," you say, pointing to yourself. He nods, recognizing you. Then you point to Lena. "Earth-242."

Barry's eyes widen, and he stays silent for a moment. You don't rush him, knowing he needs time to process. "Okay, wait a minute. Kara told you about the Earth I visited?" You nod. "So you went to a different Earth and found a Lena that loves you?" You nod again. After a pause, he adds, "Please don't tell me you're here because—"

"You guys could use my powers," you interrupt, raising your eyebrows suggestively. "And you could use her brains."

Barry looks like he wants to argue, but he can't. Not when he’s the guy who makes some of the most questionable decisions across many worlds. "I guess this is kind of my fault, isn't it?"

"One hundred percent started with you, yeah."

"Well—" He still seems like he wants to argue, but then something clicks. He realizes you and Lena could be valuable assets to the team. Soon, he smiles like a child. "Fine, you guys can stay. Welcome to Earth-1! Oh, and the S.T.A.R. Labs. The team will love having you here."

Lena looks around with a huge smile on her face. "Oh, I'm going to like this place."

You can't help but mirror her smile, seeing how excited she is. "If you're happy, I'm home."

Barry gestures for you both to follow him. "Let's go tell the others."

Earth-242 loses its Lena. She sells CatCo, donates some of her money, and invests the rest in her friends. Initially, they seem upset, but when they see her smiling at you, their anger softens. They want her to be happy, and she is happy. If they find it awkward that she is dating you, they don't mention it, and you’re grateful for that.

Assuming it would have been the same on your Earth, however, was a clear misjudgment of your friends' characters.

"So," Lena is helping you pack. She carefully folds your clothes while you toss them haphazardly into a box. "When are you going to tell your friends?"

"Well, I sent my resignation letter from CatCo a few minutes ago, which pretty much means Kara will be barging in through the window anytime now."

Lena comes closer, "And you're sure, right?" Her hands make way to your face and her touch is so good you lean into it without a second thought. "Darling?"

"Hm?" Lena has her eyebrows raised in question while waiting for your answer. "I've never been more sure about anything else in my life, ok?" You hold her waist and smile at her insecure expression. "You and I working in S.T.A.R labs sounds like a dream."

"There's no Kara in his universe." Lena makes sure you remember that. 

"Yeah I know." You kiss her forehead and smile. "We'll be fine, honey." She still looks uncertain. "Come on, Lena. I can live without Kara just fine."

"Oh really?" Kara barges in through the window that very second and you roll your eyes at the situation. Great, here she comes right on time. "You can live without me, huh?" 

You've never seen Kara this upset before, not while looking at you anyway. Perhaps at one super villain that got her really mad. But not you, never you.

"Kar," Your heart beats faster while you approach her. "I can explain. That was completely out of context." 

"Well then, please." Kara points at you, then glances at Lena behind you. "What is Lena doing here? I thought she was at headquarters."

"Right." You gesture for Lena to come closer. "Kara, this is Lena from Earth-242."

"Hi!" Lena smiles kindly. "I know this is confusing, you look exactly like the Kara from my universe too."

Kara's mouth opens and closes, unable to form a sentence.

"Well, Lena and I are together!" You smile brightly, throwing your arm around her. "And we're moving to Earth-1. Barry got us a job at S.T.A.R. labs and so we're packing my things."

One of Kara's eyes blinks, just one, while she tries to comprehend all that you're saying. She stumbles back into the bed, and lets herself fall into it with a murmured, "What?"

"I emailed in my resignation letter to Ms. Grant today, I was terrified to face her."

Kara clutches her chest. "What?"

"Darling," Lena calls your attention and you look at her. "Maybe go slower." She points to the door. "I'll be packing your kitchen stuff. You two can take your time."

Kara isn't listening to you. She fires off question after question, without giving you time to answer. So, you stay silent, watching her process everything.

"You're leaving? With a Lena? You're dating Lena? Oh my Gosh, you did love Lena. And I said it was crazy. But it is crazy. It's so crazy you're dating a different Lena from another universe and you're moving to Barry's universe? Is that even legal?" Kara reaches for her comm. "Emergency meeting in the headquarters, something insane is about to happen."

You sigh, looking at her, about to argue, but Kara points a firm finger at you. "Get your Lena there. Now."

"You know you're not my boss, right?" One hard look later, you call out, "Honey, we're going to the headquarters!"

You and Lena make it to the headquarters with Kara on your tow, so she is sure you two won't vanish into another universe (her words, not yours). The whole team is there already and Lena squeezes your hand a little stronger when she senses your anxiety.

"Hey," She whispers close to your ear. "They love you, they'll be happy that you're happy." You look at her, swallowing hard as she assures you with her eyes. "And if not –" She taps on your ring lightly.

"Is that…" Lena narrows her eyes at her counterpart waltzing in the headquarters hand-in-hand with you. "Me?"

"Hi everyone. This is Lena, from Earth-242." You decide to tell them all at once, so they can't argue. “She’s my girlfriend. We’re very happy, and we’re moving to Earth-1 together and working at S.T.A.R labs.” 

Kara points at you, “See! Something crazy!”

“It’s not crazy.” You huff annoyed, even though all of your friends are looking at you like you just grew a second head. “It’s love!”

Earth-99 Lena, it’s the first one to say, “well, this is awkward.”

“No, no. There’s nothing awkward about this.” But they are all looking at each other trying to understand how to best react to this. 

J'onn clears his throat. "Well, I wish you both good luck on your journey." He says getting opposite reactions from everyone else. He ignores them, and comes closer, shaking both yours and your girlfriend's hands. "I hope you two find happiness on Earth-1, and visit us anytime you have a chance." 

"What the fuck!" Alex exclaims from behind him.

"You'll be missed, Y/N, but I understand your decision." J'onn looks back at the others. "I'll patrol the city while you continue this conversation."

For a moment, the room is silent, but then Kara takes a deep breath, and everyone starts talking at once.

"You're crazy!" 

"This is insane!" 

"Are you shitting me?"

When they finally stop, they all look at each other, seemingly agreeing on a plan.

"Earth-242 Lena, can we talk to you?" Kara starts.

And at the same time, this Earth Lena looks at you, “Can we talk in private?” 

You agree with your head and follow her into a private room in the headquarters. Only Kara would be able to listen to your conversation, but you don’t think she is dying to know what’s happening inside this room when she is quizzing your girlfriend to death in another one. 

“So, you’re dating… me.”

You bite your tongue. How will you get yourself out of this one? “Well, you said that we’re all different people, remember?” 

She doesn’t, by the way she is looking at you completely lost. You’re not surprised she doesn't recall the moment when everything changed in your life, she was, as always, barely aware of your presence.

"I asked about it and you said there wouldn't be a paradox. We're different individuals."

"Well, yes, but she's still me somehow." She seems to be carefully choosing her words, but when she speaks again, you don't think she chose the right ones. "Isn't that the reason you're with her? I mean, you barely know her. What you know is because she reminds you of me."

"That's not true. You two are different."

She doesn't believe that, but for the sake of winning this argument she lets it slide. "Then how do you know that you're in love with her?"

"Sometimes there's no proof. Sometimes you just know."

She stares at you in disbelief and repeats, "Darling, she is me." 

"No, she isn't. And you wanna know why?" Lena raises her eyebrows, encouraging you to speak. "Because she loves me. Because, God, Lena, she can give me everything you never could. Love and smiles and—" You turn around, you can't look at her face while you say that. "We've been falling into beds together, and in each other's arms. Just loving each other so hard, I can't even remember what it's like to be a mess over someone who never gave a damn about me." You breathe out. "So, do I still need to tell you how she brought me back to life?"

She doesn't talk for what it feels like an eternity. You never once thought this was how you were going to confess your feelings for her. But now, it doesn't matter anymore. It might never have mattered in the first place.

You turn around slowly, Lena's eyes are filled with unshed tears. "Smiles?"

"What?" 

"She can give you smiles?" She repeats. You're sure you've said many, many words after that one, but 'smiles' is the word she decides to focus on. You nod slightly and Lena lets out an incredulous laughter. "Like I never smiled at you?"

"Different smiles."

"Different smiles, okay." Lena parrots, wiping her eyes even though no tears have fallen yet. "So, what? You jumped into different universes to find a version of me that would give you different smiles?"

"Shut up." You try to push past her, but she blocks you. "You don't get it. You'll never get it."

"Why?" Lena's voice is small, despite her standing tall in front of you, blocking your escape.

"Because!" You try to move past her, but she holds your wrists, pinning you against the wall.

"Because what? Say it!" Lena growls with such intensity, a hard gaze flickering between your mouth and your eyes.

"Because you wouldn't love me!" You yell.

Lena blinks at you. The splash of blue in her eye takes you off guard, you've never noticed it before. You knew that about your Lena, but you hadn't realized all of them had just a tiny bit of heterochromia. 

Then she finally blinks away a tear. You hold your breath to the small tear rolling down her cheek and time just stops between you. You both get so caught up in the moment, she lets go of your wrists, hands dropping to her sides. You swallow deep while raising your hand to her face. Your thumb brushes softly against her skin to clean a single tear she shed for you. 

You smile. "Different smiles, different tears." You explain. "I know you're confused, and I was confused too. For so long I was confused about this. But then I kissed her, and now I know."

"Well, maybe you need to be confused again." Lena pushes you further into the wall, no space for you to even breathe without having your body fully pressed against hers. 

You know what's coming next, and here's the thing, you could fight it but it doesn't even seem worth it. 

So when Lena kisses you, you think back of the many Lenas you've kissed in different universes. The sweet familiar pecks; The passionate disgraceful kisses; The 'you're mine' kisses; The 'I wish you were mine' ones; The many lips and tongues and hands; And then this one.

When she breaks the kiss for air, you have a dopey smile on your face and a light behind your eyes, you don't think it was there before.

Lena smiles too, satisfied with herself. And if you're being fair, you don't think you've ever seen this smile on her face. 

"Ok. So now that I have you confused again," She starts and you think she keeps talking, something about how to keep you on this Earth and get the other Lena back home or whatever. You're not even sure, you're not listening. Body buzzing so loud, you're shaking. 

"Sorry, I've got to —" You run to the door, since now she's given you enough space to do so. 

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Oh." You offer her a smile, the first one since this whole conversation started. You see, the other ones, they weren't for her. "I'm going home."

She looks puzzled, so you give her more information.

"You know, Lena, when you have perfect, 'almost' is never enough." You run back into the main space, you think Lena is right behind you but you're not sure, can't see her. You're not even aware if there's anyone in this place except for her. Your Lena, the Lena. 

She's caught by surprise when you hold her hand, but is quick to get up and ignore the last question fired at her by the three musketeers. "She's done explaining herself to you. We're going home."

"Wait —" Kara tries.

"No." You keep making your way out.

"Y/N, please." You think you hear Lena's voice, but it could've been Kara, or maybe even Alex, you don't care. But your escape is put to a halt, and you turn around with a frown on your face.

"No, you guys don't get it. And we don't have to explain ourselves. I love her. This one." You raise your intertwined fingers so they all can see it. "This Lena is the one for me. And you can accept that and be happy that I'm finally happy, or not. But what you can't do is try to mess up with this. Do you all get me? Me and my girlfriend are moving to Earth-1, we're starting a life together. Because she is the one I want. And no other Lena will ever do. No other person will ever do." 

You look back at her and see the smile. Different, unabashed, yours. Earth-99 Lena might have a thousand different smiles you've never seen, but you don't care about them. You like this one. This one is yours.

You look at her, doe-eyed. "You're with me?"

"I'll die." She whispers. "I'll die a sure death if I can't be with you."

Epilogue.

"Honey, do you know if Barry is bringing Iris?" You ask, going to the kitchen. Lena is organizing the many dips she bought so they look nice. She has her hair down in messy little waves, a large t-shirt and comfortable sweatpants. Barefoot on the kitchen floor, and not even an ounce of make up on her face. You smile at the perfect sight. "Why are you making all of that? It's just a game night with our friends."

"You know your friends from Earth-99 are coming too. And yes, Iris is coming too." She accepts the kiss you plant on her cheek with a bright smile. 

You peek inside one box. "You bought potstickers just for Kara, didn't you?"

"And the special beer Alex likes, and I snuck the new prototype out of the lab so I can show Winn." Lena says, sounding more excited to see your friends than you.

"That's why they love you a lot more than they love me." You joke and she chuckles, holding you from behind.

"I'm just happy they came around."

You turn around so you can face her, but her arms never leave your waist. You kiss her forehead and peck her lips.

"They would be crazy not to. You're the best Lena in the multiverse, even they can't deny that."

"How about Earth-17 Lena who helps every other Earth when they are in crisis? You know, the one responsible for this." She raises her eyebrows and you know what she means.

"No one's responsible for this, but us. If we hadn't kissed, we would never know." Your finger goes to her chin and you tilt it the slightest so you can kiss her better. And God, how is it possible that every kiss you share with her, feels the exact same as that first one. Explosive, urgent and in perfect harmony. "Just don't tell Barry that, or he might kick us out of S.T.A.R. labs."

"We're indispensable at the labs, darling."

"No. You are indispensable. I'm just the comic relief." You joke and Lena laughs as bright and easy as the sun. And shit, this Lena is so much better than any other Lena. Not only because she is yours, but like, damn, look at her. You're sure, you'd have died many deaths if it wasn't for her.

[tinydefector]

Beachcomber having his human pet (gn reader) massage his tires (and kinda getting off on it)?

CAR SPA

Beachcomber x human

Word count:1k

Warnings: unknown body job, ejaculation, feeling up, washing car, valveplug.

Beachcomber Masterlist

Hehehe I offer you car wash feel up. It was too good to pass up Beachcomber getting a car spa treatment after a beach trip. So enjoy Beachcomber getting worked up by his human companion feeling him up unknowingly

___________________

beachcomber as he sits on the Oceanside watching the waves roll in.  "Comber!" A voice breaks him out of his daze on the rolling waves. His human companion is making their way back up out of the surf towards him. Beachcomber smiles as he watches them walk towards him. 

"Waves treat ya kindly?" he calls back out to them, gesturing for them to join him on the sands. The roar of the ocean in the background is peaceful compared to the sound of all the ruckus back at base. They settled beside him looking through a bag seeking a lost towel, when they found it they laid it across the sand as they lay down beside Beachcomber. 

"Mmm the surf is great" they state before dropping down to sit on the sand beside him. They lean back enjoying the sun on their skin as they lay on the towel. "Let me know when you wanna head back, promised you we'd go to the car wash since you brought me to the beach, can't have you getting rusty can we" they state with a lopsided smile as they.

Beachcomber laughs in return as he runs his servos over their head, digits brushing their wet hair. "Earth has such beauty, I've never seen oceans like this before." He reply while watching the waters As gulls' calls punctuated serene ambience, Beachcomber savoured Natural beauty of the landscape.   

They lay in the sun for a little longer trying to dry off more, after a little they grab their gear. "Well I'm ready to head off, we'll stop at the car wash to give us both a chance to get the sand off us" they hum happily. 

Beachcomber stirred gently, he stands up stretching slightly before he Transforms with fluid grace, engine purring soft invitation. They are quick to throw their gear into the passenger seat, clicking their seatbelt as they give Beachcomber's steering wheel a pat. “All set” the state. 

Beachcomber pulled smoothly across the sand starting the drive back to the beach entrance of the shore, following the tracks in the sand he  drifts slightly which makes them laugh lightly from the squeal the sand makes under Beachcomber's tires. 

The drive is peaceful, Beachcomber uses his mirrors to watch them as their arm rests on the side of the door drifting in the wind as they drive, the ocean Air brushes against their face before they finally end up back on a paved road. "Just up here Comber, this is the car wash I was telling you about, its the one most cars go to after beach camping" they call him.

Beachcomber's engine purred with gratitude as they signalled their destination ahead. He parks carefully on the grates. "OK Beach boy, bath time" They state teasingly while moving to grab the pressure washer off the wall. They check the settings and soap as they move towards Beachcomber. “ alright tell me if the pressure is too much” they call out to him as the hit him with the soap spray. 

Beachcomber's engine lets out a choked noise before he settles at the feeling of the soap coating his frame. his frame shutters as they lean down and begin scrubbing with a cloth humming along to music playing on his stereo. 

 They lean down under his shield and bumper scrubbing it before moving to the fender which Makes Beachcomber gasp in delight as a choked vent leaves him at the feeling.

Beachcomber has to shut down his vocal system so he doesn't moan as he moves to his wheels and hubcaps. tiny vibrations from his engine in a trembling purr is the only sound outside of every now and then revving too much. 

In truth Beachcomber, he wasn't expecting this kinda treatment with a hands on wash but he would be damned to the pits if he let his vocalisations ruin this for him. Beachcomber's engine rumbled deeply, fans whirring as if overheating. At each movement form his companions' hands that brushes the hidden nooks behind his wheel-struts. Charge ripples through his frame, he can feel himself getting worked up, transfluid leaking from his undercarriage. 

They continue working the grim out of his wheels as they then scrub down his doors, moving further down his frame, their hands move across more sensitive cabling under his door frame as they clean. More transfluid leak from him onto the ground into the grate as he shutters. 

He lets out a silent groan, grinding plating together against his Spike. As the begin scrubbing the underside of his frame trying to make sure they get all the sand and salt their eyes catch a bright pink fluid leaking from Beachcomber. "Hey Beach, I think you have a leak or a broken line." They call out while continuing to clean and rinse him off of soap and grim. They run their fingers over the pink fluid before rubbing it between their fingers trying to figure out what it is.

Beachcomber vented raggedly, in effort to cool his systems from the overwhelming touch. Slowly, consciousness returned, along with mortified realisation as their hand brushed over his overstimulated spike again. “Primus might be transmission fluid” he states quickly hoping that it was believable enough for them not to question it. 

They give a light shrug before wiping the fluid away and washing the remaining fluid away. “Didn't know you guys had pink Transmissions fluid, but eh alien robots should have known you guys don't work fully like us” they mumble.  It makes Beachcomber shutter in relief.  “yea joys of being cybertronian,  but I'll have to get Ratchet to check it out once we get back to base” he rumbles as they give him one last spray down with water. 

“Well you're all clean now Beach, are you ready to head back yet?” They ask with a tilted head and smile. His engine purrs lightly as he debates driving when he knows it would be a shaky drive back to base. “Let me soak in some more sunlight before we head back” he calls back to them. 

__________________

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[ashs-wrld]

family line.

based on

my gf is so pretty, guys 😣😣

max fox x f! reader

warnings: mentions of abuse; parent issues; mentions of self harm; alcohol abuse; r’s kinda an asshole (not really, just shitfaced n sad.)

a/n: sorry this took so long, i had shit to handle for work. (i’ve been getting borderline stalked.) this sucks, my bad 😣😣.

you had been ignoring max for weeks at this rate, refusing to answer calls and messages, skipping school, essentially falling off the face of the earth. you and your mom had been fighting a lot. nothing major, normal stuff. school, money, why your dad left. it wasn’t that bad. yeah, sure it got physical at times, but she never meant to, you deserved it, right?

you looked into the mirror, only to be met with your barely recognizable reflection. have you always looked this much like your dad? your face was sunken in, your collarbones a little more noticeable than they used to be. various cuts lined your face, some healing, some fresher. the bags under your eyes had grown darker due to lack of sleep, an old sweatshirt hanging from your shoulders. the stench oh alcohol radiating off of you like you had bathed in it. have your eyes always looked this empty?

you hear a soft knock on your window, followed by a gentle call of your name. max. max was here, shit. you rolled down your sleeves in an attempt to hide your most treasured hated habit. you open the window, helping her in.

“y/n! y/n, holy shit i’ve been calling you, you fucking assho-,” she cuts herself off taking in your appearance. she wraps her arms around you, burying her face into your chest. “you look like shit. and you smell like a bar and.” she takes a moment to look around your room, seeing the empty liquor bottles and redbull cans scattered across the floor. she brings her hands to cup your face, gently running her thumb over one of the cuts, pulling away when she hears you wince. “what happened?”

“it’s nothing, maxie,” you mutter softly, rubbing soft circles into her back. you hoped and prayed that she would accept it and move on, yet you know she’d never do that.

“it’s not ‘nothing’, baby. you look like you got in a fight. who did this to you?” her voice was soft, sickeningly sweet even.

you look down at the floor, pulling away from her. “fuck off, max. i didn’t answer for a reason.” you sounded harsher than intended, you didn’t even mean to say it. your head was fuzzy from weeks of endless drinking, and it definitely showed.

“hey, hey! i’m trying to help.” she stood her ground, pushing back. “who hurt you, hm?”

“max, for fuck’s sake can you just drop it? just fucking forget it, yeah? it doesn’t matter. why can’t you understand that?” you really didn’t mean to yell at her, you were just tired. too tired to even process what’s happened these past few weeks. your expression softens, your eyebrows knitting together seeing her take a step back.

“i’m just worried about you..,” she sounded so.. sad. she watched you patiently, waiting for you to say something.

“i’m. i’m sorry..” you mutter softly, refusing to make eye contact. you felt tears prick at your eyes, though you would never let them fall.

“are you crying?” you heard her whisper, taking a cautious step towards you. “there’s no shame in crying, i promise. it’s ok, i’m here.” she wrapped her arms around you, guiding you to sit on your bed.

you let out a choked sob at her words, leaning into her. “i’m so sorry, maxie. i’m sorry.” you repeated teary apologies, your voice shaking.

her hands ran through your hair, scratching your back, anything to make you feel better. “y/n, talk to me. what happened?”

you dig your nails into the flesh of your palm, a habit you had picked up when you were a kid. “me and my mom have been fighting.. a lot..”

she takes your hand in hers, brushing her thumb over the crescent shaped scars on your palm. “don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.” she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, guiding you to lay your head in her lap. “she did this to you?” she asked silently, stroking your cheek.

“yeah.. yeah.. it’s.. nothing though..” you said quietly, trying to brush it off. you kept your head in her lap, letting her play with your hair. the one action that’d bring you some form of comfort.

“it’s not nothing. have you seen yourself?” she felt her heart break with you trying to downplay your issues.

“max..”

“no,” she cut you off. “it’s ok for you to feel, i don’t know why you can’t see that. you’re killing yourself.”

you nodded slowly, letting her words sink in.

“now please, just talk to me. i don’t wanna see you hurt yourself anymore..” she sounded so.. desperate.

“my mom wants me out of the house. i can’t go to college. i hate my job, i hate school. i’m failing. and i just.. i hate myself..” you mutter through sobs, clinging to her. “i’m sorry i ignored you. i’m sorry, maxie..”

“you don’t need to apologize, ever..” she said holding your trembling body, whispering sweet praises into your ears. “you’re doing so good. my beautiful, strong, amazing, girl.. i’m so proud of you..”

you let out a shaky sob hearing her words, basking in the praise.

“i mean it. and i’ll say it as many times as i need to to make you believe it.” her hands combed through your hair, scratching at your scalp lightly. she saw that you weren’t trembling as much, and took that as a good sign. “i love you, ok?” she move to lay down, bringing your head against her chest. “i love you, and i want you to talk to me next time this happens. don’t push me away. talk to me instead of drinking yourself to death.”

“i didn’t wanna bother you..” you muttered softly, your voice muffled against her skin.

“i’ve got nowhere else to be.. you’re what matters.” she presses kisses to the top of your head, pulling you closer to her. “i want you to be ok.”

“i’m just tired. i don’t feel like talking.” your voice was raspy, exhausted.

“just sleep. i’ve got nowhere important to be. you’re what matters right now.” she said soothingly into your ear, tracing soothing patterns into the small of your back.

“i love you, maxie..” you say softly, closing your eyes and leaning into her.

“i love you too, baby.” she whispered back, watching you drift off to sleep. she pressed another kiss to your forehead, closing her eyes. for the first time in weeks, you slept through the night.

[azrielslittleslut]

"The Lost Queen"- Prologue

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: A magical incident causes Azriel to unexpectedly tumble through a portal into modern-day Earth. Confused and injured, he is discovered by Y/N, a compassionate woman with a hidden past. Y/N takes care of him and helps him learn about the complexities of the modern world, unaware of who she truly is. Meanwhile, Azriel struggles with his conflicting desires: his duty to the Night Court and his growing love for the woman who saved him.

Their journey unfolds amidst ancient prophecies and the looming threat in Prythian. As they uncover the truth about the forces conspiring against them, they must confront their deepest fears and make choices that will change their lives forever.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: angsty, kinda dark, mostly a lore drop for later

a/n: i was gonna wait to post this, but i'm the most impatient person alive so here ya go. this is the beginning of the lore drop for this story, and it will play a huge role later on! hope y'all like it! let me know what ya think! next chapter we move onto the present day with our fave bat boy.

Enjoy!

Prythian, 25 years ago

“Hurry. We need to hurry,” the female gasped, ignoring the pain from the sharp rocks beneath her bare feet. She hadn’t bothered with shoes or even a cloak, as there had been no time to bother with such comforts. They had fled as soon as they had gotten word that their location had been revealed. She regretted that decision now, for the icy cold bit into her skin, and she could see her breath in front of her face, mixing with the darkness around them.

Her husband groaned, struggling to keep up with her fast pace. “Do you remember the words, Carina?”

“Yes, Klaus. I’ve gone over them every day since we got the letter.” She looked back at him, noting how tired and weary he looked. The last few months on the run had taken a toll on him, sucking the life out of his once luminous face. “Now, come on!”

Her lungs burned as they picked up the pace, nearly sprinting through the dark forest. Shadows danced around them as if they were trying to shield the couple from their pursuers. She held the small bundle in her arms close to her body, praying to the Mother her body heat would transfer through the blanket.

In the distance, Carina could hear footsteps growing closer, crashing loudly through the dead leaves. “Damn it! They’re getting closer!” Her heart was racing, and it took all of her self-control to keep from falling into a fit of panic.

“Keep going,” Klaus said as he unsheathed the sword he kept at his back. “I’ll fight them off. You have to make it to the clearing.”

She stopped running as she fought back the urge to let her tears fall. “No! We promised to do this together. You can’t leave me.” Her breathlessness as she spoke was not from the running but from her heart shattering into pieces inside her chest.

Not like this, not like this, not like this.

He ran a gentle finger down her cheek, his dark eyes full of love. His eyes were what she had fallen in love with first, all those years ago. They had been her anchor through storms, her beacon of hope.

 Now, she wondered if she would ever see them again.

“You know there is no other option, my love,” he murmured. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her frozen lips. She was so numb she couldn’t even feel the contact of his skin. “We have been running for too long. It’s time to end this. You have to end this.”

Deep down, she knew there was no other option, and there was no way out. She gave him a solemn nod. “In this life and the next- “she began, speaking the promise they always said to each other.

“-in this world and the next,” he finished, cupping her face in his hands. “I love you, Car.”

Carina’s heart stuttered at the nickname he had given her. She watched in silent agony as he turned away, his sword at the ready. “I love you, too,” she whispered, but he was gone, swallowed up by the darkness. Though he was a warrior, she doubted he would be able to fight against them. With a deep breath, she locked her feelings away, compartmentalizing them to be dealt with later.

If there was a later. She began sprinting again, her mind scrambling. In her head, she went over the words from that gods-forsaken letter, the one her husband had mentioned.

Find the opening in the trees. East of the mountains. South of the river. Where shadows dance with moonlight and whispers carry on the wind. Repeat the words given to you in the Old Language, spoken only by those in the Royal Lineage.

In the letter, there had been an ancient-looking scroll. Written on it were the words she needed to speak to summon the one they had asked for help. She had repeated them, committing them to memory. She didn’t know what they meant, but that didn’t matter now.

The only thing that mattered now was that they worked.

After what felt like an eternity, she ran through an opening in the dense foliage. The air was thick with the scent of frozen earth, and it was laced with a metallic tang. Chills ran down her spine, but it wasn’t from the cold. The palpable sense of magic tingled along her skin, and she fought the urge to cower in the presence of such a power.

From above, the clouds parted to reveal a full moon, and she could see the shadows darting along the tree line as if they were indeed dancing with the moonlight. The wind picked up, and she could hear whispers crying out, their near-silent voices mingling together into one accord.

Carina took a deep breath, still cradling the small bundle to her chest. There had been no movement or sound in the last few hours, and she wondered if she was too late, if all of this was for nothing.

“You must live, little one,” she murmured to the sleeping form in her arms. “The fate of our world hangs in the balance.” Perhaps the words she spoke were too grim, but they were relevant to the situation.

Carina squared her shoulders, standing tall against the primal power creeping into the clearing. She wouldn’t mess this up. Everything that had been done... the running, the hiding… it all centered on this moment.

With a loud voice, she began to speak those words written on the scroll. Time slowed and the wind stilled as they flowed from her tongue. Even the shadows disappeared, blending into the darkness around them.

Her body began to tremble as she felt the presence of something enter the clearing. It wasn’t like any magic she had encountered before. No… it was something old and dark and wholly other.

Her knees hit the ground as her body finally gave out, and she put out a hand to keep herself from crushing the precious gift in her arms. She went silent as she saw an ethereal-looking form take shape before her eyes.

Clad in a robe that seemed to move with the power of unseen forces, the figure had an aura of grace and power. Beneath the robe, the body appeared to be feminine, with generous curves and full breasts. Black tendrils of hair that looked like shadows blew gently in the wind, framing a beautiful face that held age-old wisdom from centuries gone by.

For a moment, Carina swore she saw the faint outline of wings emerging from the figure’s back, but the sight was lost after a few seconds. Slowly, she raised her eyes, meeting the stare of one who held the secrets and mysteries of countless worlds.

Carina smiled softly as she felt a wave of relief flood her veins. She bowed her head as a sign of reverence and submission. The fate of her daughter was in the hands of this ancient power, and she would do anything to ensure her safety, even if it meant putting aside her pride. Though she was weak and tired from the running, her voice was stable as she said, “Hello, World Walker.”

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[arctroopertinky]

Look Towards the Future Ch5: Lost

Captain Rex x Jedi!Reader

Words: 6.8k

Summary: You and Rex find each other at the bottom of the cliff. Your honesty wavers. And Rex discovers a new feeling as he patches you up, finding it difficult to stay away.

Warnings: Injury / Blood / Falling unconscious / Corpse /

A/N: The slow burn begins to burn here. Please enjoy! Also, I plan on creating a masterlist post for this fic, to reduce some of the clutter, stay tuned.

AO3 Link / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter / Master List

You tried your best to stay right behind the Captain, but you found yourself slowly lagging behind throughout the sprint away from certain death, eventually unable to distinguish the Captain from other troopers. What’s worse, your view of the planet around you kept spinning. Every time you tried to blink away the swirling vision, it simply started again from square one, with no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Yes, you lied to the Captain. You told him that you could escape the village by yourself, when in reality your life was basically up to the flip of a coin. The dizziness caused you to stumble and trip over yourself as you weaved from side to side, with no clones stopping to help you. Despite your hazed thoughts, you knew that it was because they were all focused on their own escape, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if they simply didn’t want to help a useless Jedi like you, as you struggled to maintain your balance.

Your body forced your sprint to slow to a jog and then to a stop. Your knees buckled slightly forward as you bent over to rest your hands on their respective knee. The upper portion of your back explosively rose and fell as your lungs desperately collected air to harvest its oxygen. Your ears rung excessively, but underneath it all, death and destruction could just barely be heard. Explosions were muffled in your ears as countless clones cried out at the violence. Your eyes, which were shut tight as you caught your breath, slowly opened to reveal the ground, turning at a nauseating pace as your vision doubled and tripled ruthlessly.

You felt your body begging to vomit up bile as you attempted to straighten yourself out, stumbling multiple times in the process, only just barely able to catch yourself. You felt as though you were ready to lay down and give up. But then you felt an explosive go off only a couple yards away from you. The blinding flash of the reaction bled its way past your eyelids.

You were blasted violently to the side as you rolled several feet on the dead earth beneath you. You finally ended up laying on your back. You laid there for some brief moments, groaning from the soreness, wishing you could melt into the ground and cease to exist as your eyes struggled to make sense of the ruined sky above. Your thoughts were scrambled, making you unable to think of anything substantial as you rolled over to your side in an initial attempt to stand, drool slacked from the corner of your mouth as it threatened to drip down to the ground below. Then, you came face to face with your new situation.

The injured haze you found yourself in quickly dissipated in a gasp as you noticed an ominous red blinking light just beneath the dirt. With what minimal coordination you had available, you crawled away from the mine as steadily as you could. Your eyes wide, never wavering away from the mechanism. Once you made it far enough away from the mine, you felt comfortable enough to try to stand. You cautiously turned from the mine to face where the troopers were running, and placed one foot on the ground. Your other leg’s knee dug into the earth as you felt its texture tattoo itself temporarily into your skin as a sharp pain resonated throughout your knee. As you attempted to lift the other foot to stand, you felt your legs rapidly wobble, threatening to drop you like some discarded trash.

Right as your legs were about to fail, you heard a quiet click, then a scream, all cut off by a loud BANG coming from behind you. The force emitted by the explosion pushed you forward a bit, your legs automatically moving in tandem, mimicking a light jog to prevent you from falling on your face. Then, the initial explosion must have caused more mines to erupt, the ground began to shake violently beneath you as the corners of your eyes caught multiple blinding flashes echoing in your surroundings. The horrific circumstances you found yourself in gave you the motivation to run faster, but not before the waves of explosive energy hit you from behind, boosting you forward at an unnatural rate as you ran for your life. Even after the deafening explosions ceased to follow you, leaving only an intense ringing in your ear, you didn’t stop. Your adrenaline was running hot, allowing you to ignore what was most likely a concussion, and keep moving to safety.

You weren’t able to focus on anything in particular, the adrenaline coursing through your bloodstream kept you on your feet, but it did nothing to cure your dizziness and doubled vision. But, you kept running, sprinting even. Nothing could stop you now. Well… nothing except for the trooper you accidentally rammed yourself into.

Despite the fact that your body wasn’t really spinning at all, your brain made you feel as though you were turning a thousand times a second as you descended off the cliff with your mystery victim. The trooper was only about a foot lower than you in your fall to your deaths. All you could do was look upon the trooper with hooded eyes as your thoughts struggled to bubble to the surface. The blue markings on the armor were obvious to you as they contrasted with the original white finish of the armor, but your injury prevented you from discerning what shapes were painted on. As far as you could tell, this trooper was most likely an absolute stranger, pushed off a cliff by the Jedi who couldn’t even do her job.

Suddenly you felt yourself become engulfed by a thick bedding of blackened branches, scratching your body as you momentarily settled into the peak of a tree. You cried out at the surprising sensation, the branches cradling you with no regard for their texture as they broke your fall.

Then you felt your body sink. The branches creaked and moaned as many began to snap one by one, dropping you slightly with each crude sound. You reached for something, anything really. But all you were able to grip tightly were the dead branches that were failing you. Your knuckles turned white as the last standing branches you prayed would hold you became more and more strained as they were forced to bear more of your weight. There then was a moment, which felt like an eternity to you, where there was an uncomfortable silence, threatening to end its calm just to make you suffer. You huffed out an anxious sigh as confusion rang across your mind. Why weren’t you falling? That was the only thought that managed to cut through your half conscious haze.

As though nature wanted to mock you, a large CRACK could be heard immediately following your inquiry. Your eyes swiftly opened wide in panic as you looked down at the spinning branches beneath you, not able to discern any noticeable damage that had just been heard. Then, you looked back up at the branch you were holding, barely separating you from your fall to your death. You noticed a large fracture in it, only getting bigger by the second. Your throat managed to let out a squeak in reaction to the sight before the branch finally failed you, and you began plummeting to your demise once more, letting out a long and unending scream on your way down. All until you were painfully interrupted again.

Your lungs forced out the rest of the air in the form of a grunt as your back landed perpendicular to a very large and wide branch. Despite its crude and deathly appearance, it was able to hold your weight, but it couldn’t stop you from slowly sliding off of it legs first as you desperately tried to accelerate your recovery from the harsh landing, reaching your hands out to grab at nothing.

You began falling again, nothing was beneath you to block your body from the ground, but you weren’t too far now. All that was left was for you to make your rude acquaintance with the scorched earth below. You couldn’t even let out anything more than a speckled groan as you stared at the branches that were rushing away from you as you fell closer to the ground.

Then, you hit the bottom. Back first, your limbs sprawled out around you. It didn’t take long for any sensations to kick in. Your lungs were once again forced empty as your back hit the ground, gravity flattening your body, making you feel as though you were paralyzed for a brief moment as your lungs refused to expand. Then, that subsided, your breath returned to you, but not before a soreness kicked in throughout your body. But you also noticed your right thigh felt as though it was burning up, the feeling was sharp compared to the dull pain that etched itself elsewhere. You managed to strain your head up to look down at your body, and you saw red.

Some more adrenaline kicked in, an anxiety stabbed through your chest, allowing you to shoot up quickly, immediately resting your weight on your sore elbows. The fabric of your pants covering your thigh was bloody, with its bright red color covering more and more of the fabric with every passing second. You noticed a figure right above your thigh. Your eyes flicked up slightly, and you gasped. Cold air filled your lungs quickly and dried out your throat when you saw what made you bleed. You fell on a sharp rock. It was thin and long, clearly etched and carved to resemble some sort of weapon. Crudely made, as if whoever crafted the tool was in a hurry to finish it. No matter the circumstances, it made its way right through your thigh when you made harsh contact with the ground.

Your eyes squinted as the pain in your thigh became fully realized to you. You used your arms to pull yourself up into a seating position, shaking and hyperventilating your moans and groans all the way up, gasping at each wrong move that shifted the sharp rock in your thigh, causing the pain to grow hotter and shoot through you unapologetically.

Your hands found their way to the stone, wrapping their respective fingers around the tool with weakened strength. Without the ability to put much thought into it, you began to pull, gritting your teeth as you felt the texture of the weapon drag against the inner flesh of your thigh. It moved upwards slowly, generating a disgusting noise that made your ears tense up as it pierced the intense ringing.

After an agonizing moment, you could feel that the stone was almost out of your thigh, but you were losing energy fast from the blood loss. You sensed your arms weakening, and the stone slowed down as you struggled to pull more and more.

You paused and pinched your eyes tight, bracing the stone as hard as you could. Then, you let out a groan as you put all of your strength into getting that stone out. You felt it move slightly before stopping again. You took a shallow breath in, and moaned in pain as you wretchedly pulled again, this time the stone rushed out of you, forcing your moans to become a pained yell as your ears rang louder in anguish. Your vision began to blur on top of the spinning as you stared at the bloodied stone, eyebrows lowered into your squinted eyes in pain, your breath quickened, but hollow of air.

Slowly but surely, your breathing slowed, your facial features relaxed, and your eyes began to feel tired as your core struggled to hold you up. Then, your mouth went slack as your eyes began to roll into the back of your head.

Then, you were out like a light. Your head fell back to the ground with a thud as your elbows slid down your body, straightening your arms. The hand that was holding the stone went slack at your side, allowing the stone to roll off of it, and onto the ground some distance away.

- - -

Rex felt free, gravity wasn’t holding him down and the burden of the war was nowhere to be found within him. A consistent deep hum played in his ears, relaxing him deeply as he floated through nothing. He wondered who could join him in this serene state, he wished others could feel as fantastic as he was in that moment. He thought of his brothers, the ones closest to him. His mind then wandered to Anakin and Ahsoka, and he weakly smiled as he thought of his battalion. When he was done feeling this nice, he was going to grab his brothers and his Generals and bring them here. Yeah… that would be nice.

He then remembered you. Oh, you! How could he forget about this newest General?

…

Wait…

An image of you flashed through Rex’s mind, one of you hitting your head against the ground.

Where were you?

Another image crossed through his head, of dozens of explosions occurring around him. Of his men dying.

Where was anyone? Where was he?

An anxiety pierced through Rex’s heart, and his eyes opened with a start.

Blue. Just… blue! All around him! Rex gasped as he frantically scanned his surroundings, revealing the body of water he was currently floating in. Holy shit, he was drowning. Well, not yet maybe. Luckily his helmet had an emergency air reserve for when he needed it. Saved him more times than he could count, and it was hopefully going to save him this time too.

Adrenaline was already coursing through Rex’s veins, his survival instincts immediately activated, forcing his arms and legs to swim him towards the surface. Rex stopped after a moment, wincing at the pain his four limbs were rudely greeted too. He realized that he must have hit the water pretty hard. But, Rex grit his teeth, forcing himself to continue upwards until he broke the barrier between the water and the air, taking a deep breath in in relief, despite the fact that he was never unable to breath.

Rex turned himself erratically in the water in a desperate attempt to understand where he was. Luckily, he was able to easily spot the shore, and started his swim towards land promptly, the pain only slowed him down a bit, he never let it stop him.

- - -

Rex crawled himself further onto shore before he collapsed onto his stomach. He rolled himself over onto his back with a groan, allowing one arm to go slack at his side, while the other covered his visor as his eyes slacked shut in exhaustion. His breaths were long and labored as his lungs thirsted for as much oxygen as possible. His limbs, now tired on top of the soreness Rex woke up with, could barely move anymore as waves continued to lap up Rex’s legs and stop at his thighs.

Rex laid there for a couple minutes. Just as a little treat to give to himself, after surviving falling off a cliff and almost drowning.

His eyes opened sharply when he heard an echoed scream, one that was growing louder by the second, before a metallic crash could be heard far off into the distance. Rex shot up, and he realized that the scream came from a separatist battle droid. He then picked up on the sounds of blaster fire, almost too quiet to have been possible to hear, but just loud enough to remind the weary Captain of the broader situation he was still in. He had to get back up the cliff, and back into the fight.

His heart began to pound again, dreading how many more troopers may have been dead in his absence. It was enough to get him on his feet. The aching pain from his not-so-gentle meeting with the lake made his limbs and core shake and tremble as he struggled to hold himself together.

But the drive to continue wasn’t enough, Rex dropped to his knees before he even realized he was falling, letting out a breathy sigh in disappointment and exhaustion as the soft crackling of scorched grass and sediment touched his ears, almost unable to keep himself upright upon contact.

He leaned back slightly, lifting his head up to bask in the sunless air as he took a deep breath in, preparing himself to stand once more. Rex peered about his surroundings. He wasn’t trying to find anything in particular, but a dark object did catch his attention. He blinked away any imperfections in his vision, and he noticed a large stick leaning against a dead tree, one that Rex theorized he could use as a crutch of sorts.

Rex found a smile creeping onto his face. Somehow a slight chuckle made it past his lips as he stared at the simple object, the one thing that might be able to help him get where he needed to go.

Rex managed to get to his feet again, but he immediately could feel his legs failing on him once again as he looked down at the trembling appendages. His eyes raced to the stick again, the tree the stick was accompanying was only a couple paces away. Totally doable.

One foot in front, then the other. Rex did this again and again, each step forward harder than the last. Sweat began to bead on his forehead as his breath became more and more labored. Eventually, he was so close to the tree, his desire to reach out growing with each passing second. Then, Rex took another step, and he felt that he was likely about to fall again. In reaction he picked up the pace, growing it into a pathetic run towards the tree. His knees continued to buckle, but he kept running, desperate to avoid dropping like an insect before reaching his target. Rex reached out his arms, and he found himself embracing the tree before he knew it. He sighed in relief, and then looked down at his extremely buckled legs. Any more steps and he would have crashed right into the tree itself. Rex then looked to the side, and there was the stick. He reached out with one arm to grab the object, maintaining his intimate grasp to the tree with his other to maintain balance. Its length ran from the ground to just about under his shoulder. One end was flat, and the other was thin and round. Rex deduced it was the perfect substitute for a crutch with a smirk as his underarm began to hug the flatter end of the stick.

Rex let his other arm go from the tree. He struggled to maintain balance at first, his legs wobbled as they tried to hold themselves up independent from the tree. But, after a couple of practice steps, Rex mostly got the hang of supporting his weight on the stick. It wasn’t pretty, his steps were in the form of uneven hobbles, and he was pretty damn slow compared to how he was before. But, he would be able to get from point A to point B, so it had to be enough.

A slight breeze began to stir up the burnt flora around Rex. He tried to soak up the feeling as the relaxing hum of the wind met his ears, but his armor kept the feeling from softening his skin. It was another rude reminder of the situation he was currently in, he had to find a way back to the fight.

Rex began his trek to the edge of the cliff. He landed pretty close to it, so it took him no time at all for him to reach it, to be able to drag his gloved hand along the ragged edges of the landmark as he limped along the side of the cliff to find a way back up. Rex allowed his mind to wander slightly as he mentally marked the best past for his fingers to drag themselves through. Small chunks of rock and sand fell at the wake of contact with the fabric of his glove. His eyes glazed over slightly as the activity brought him some fleeting relaxation.

And then he tripped.

Rex’s shoulder broke his fall, with a grunt emanating from the Captain’s lips as he grit his teeth upon impact with the Earth. His eyes, which were shut tight, blinked open rapidly for Rex to see his crutch laying on the ground in front of him. He reached out and grabbed the stick with a muttering groan, then hoisted himself up with it, trying to ignore his legs’ shakes as he pinned the crutch beneath his arm once more.

Rex turned his body to look behind him with an annoyed squint in his eyes, expecting to see some sort of root or rock that got in his way. Behind his helmet, however, his jaw slacked open and his eyes widened as a sharp gasp escaped him when he saw your shoes.

“G-general…?”

Ignoring his pain, he rushed himself to limp over to your shoes quickly, where your body came into view. Rex’s eyes immediately shot upwards to scan your face. Your hood obscured your face slightly, but he could see that your eyes were closed and your mouth hung open. Scratches and bruises littered your face. You were clearly not conscious. Rex saw red in the bottom corner of his vision, that’s when he found your thigh. Blood was spreading rapidly throughout your pants as the fabric absorbed the bright liquid. He then noticed the hole in your pants that revealed the mighty gash in your thigh. Usually, Rex wouldn’t have much of a reaction to gore of this sort. But for some reason, when he looked upon your wound, he felt his face tense as an uneasy feeling striked through his chest. Maybe it was because you weren’t a trooper, he was used to seeing his brothers getting hurt. But, he didn’t even feel this way when Anakin or Ahsoka got hurt. At least, it was never to the same degree. Maybe it was because he knew that you were vulnerable, that you were struggling. That you have been for a while now.

Despite only getting to his feet a moment prior, Rex didn’t hesitate to practically leap towards you as he fell to his knees, ripping his helmet off and discarding it to the side. He took your bloodied hand into his, placing his middle and pointer finger onto the outer portion of your wrist, awaiting a pulse.

He relaxed a bit when his fingers felt a rhythmic beat beneath them. It was slightly faint, and maybe a bit erratic, but it was there. You were alive.

Rex immediately got to work. After placing your hand gently back at your side, he barely managed to prop you up against the nearby tree, grunting as he struggled against your weight, forcing your limp body to leave behind a trail in the earth and dirt. Then, he was quick to begin examining your wound. He carefully pulled apart the hole in your pants to obtain a closer look at it, the uncomfortable stabbing sensation returning to him briefly, nauseating him slightly. Rex’s breath then hitched at a rude realization. He had no bacta patches, and no tools to stop the bleeding. What was he supposed to do here? How was he supposed to save you-?

Rex felt a hand weakly grip his forearm. His mind snapped back into reality as his eyes popped back up at you. Your eyes were on his, barely open as you weakly blinked a couple times in an attempt to clear your vision. “Captain…?”

You were awake.

“General…!”

All Rex could seem to do in this situation was look at your eyes as yours began to study the situation. He saw you look down at your wound, your eyebrows furrowing in confused concern in reaction to the gore, before relaxing in understanding resolve.

“U-use my robe…”

Rex was caught a bit off guard. “Y-your robe? For what, General?” He felt it as his hand was slowly guided towards the wound, his fingers began pressing against it gently.

There was a short pause. For some reason, Rex’s eyes stayed locked on yours, his mind threatening to wander once more as he struggled to understand how you were here with him. His overwhelmed mind swarmed with thoughts as the warmth of your blood cradled his hand. Then, your eyes looked back into his eyes with an increased clarity, surprising him.

“Help me, please…”

“Oh!” Rex exclaimed, blinking away his confusion as he snapped back into reality, finally understanding what you wanted. “O-of course.” He sheepishly grabbed the end of your robe, Swiftly bringing it up to his face and clamping down on the corner of it with his teeth, before ripping a long strip of it away from the rest of the fabric. A crackling noise accompanied the destruction.

Rex slid the fabric underneath your thigh as carefully as he could, using one hand to lift your thigh gently as the other positioned the fabric accordingly. His hand was flat against the bottom of your thigh, cupping it delicately as he lifted it. He tried his best not to hurt you, but he still heard you take a sharp inhale when he moved your thigh a bit too much. Rex winced in reaction, your pained expression made him respond more intensely than he’d expect to once again.

“I’m sorry, General.” Rex apologized hurriedly as he continued his work.

“It’s okay,” he heard you strain out as your lungs refused to let go of your previous inhale, “don’t worry about it…”

Rex took the ends of the fabric in both of his hands. Ignoring the pain in his arms the best he could, he shifted his hands far apart, dissolving the slack of the fabric. His hands moved methodically as he prepared the knot he was about to tighten around the wound. He paused, then carried his eyes up to yours, seeing that yours were still focused on his work. You then looked up to him, clearly noticing his purposeful hesitation. Your facial expression showing one of helpless disorientation and nervousness, it made Rex’s heart ache slightly.

“This is going to hurt, alright?” Rex warned. “Hold onto something if you need to.”

You nodded quickly, eyes shutting tight in preparation for what was to come. Rex looked down at the wound, seeing your hands grip the blackened grass hard enough to turn your knuckles white. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Just do i-.”

Rex pulled hard. In the corner of his vision your body noticeably tensed up as the sensation became known to you. You shot up into a sitting position, eyes completely open, whining out the rest of your sentence as your head hunched over dramatically in parallel to his, fingers now gripping his arm closest to you tight. Rex’s face felt strangely hot as your tone reached his ears and his armor shifted to your sudden strength, a tight knot formed at the bottom of his stomach for a short second.

Suddenly Rex noticed how… close he was to you. Your head was so close to his that he could hear your labored breaths brush past his shoulder oh so slightly. His gloves were on, but the heat emanating from your thigh penetrated the fabric effortlessly. He felt his curiosity seek to bask in this feeling, before he mentally smacked himself back into the moment, tying the makeshift bandage securely in place.

Rex was quick to remove himself slightly, giving you some air. As you processed the pain your hunched back slowly stopped heaving so intensely, your breaths became more rhythmic and calm and you gently allowed yourself to lean back into the tree, eyes now shut, eyebrows high with newfound relief from the pain. Rex turned himself around, supporting himself on his crutch as he made himself stand to give you some privacy, still feeling an intense hotness incubating on his face. He took his free hand and slid it down his face, trying to relax himself as his hand pulled his skin slightly, perturbed at his reaction, and a little confused.

“Thank you,” Rex heard you sigh out. He turned himself back around to face you. Whatever timidness you were expressing prior to this had clearly been melted away by a mixture of blood loss and almost-unbearable pain. You looked weary, but desperate to get back on your feet as you began fidgeting in your seat.

“Of course. How are you feeling?” Rex asked, expecting to hear a not-so-great answer.

“I feel fine now.”

Fine?

“Fine?” Rex asked, “are you sure…?” He looked down on you with mighty concern, eyeing the blood that soaked your pants and the apparent paleness of your skin. “I think it’s safe to assume that you lost a lot of blood…” Rex paused for a moment to think, turning his head to look up at the cliff, then back down at you again. “How did you get down here anyway?”

You looked away from him for a second, eyeing something Rex couldn’t distinguish without looking over himself, but he didn’t. You looked back at him.

“I don’t know.” You stated plainly. “I must have fallen, like you did.”

Rex nostrils flared slightly at the assumption. “I didn’t fall, General.” Rex paused as he tried to remember how he got here. “I think I may have been pushed.”

“Then who pushed you?” You inquired, your sudden plain and emotionless tone making Rex feel strangely embarrassed.

“I don’t know…”

CRASH.

You both gasped at the sudden noise, shoulders jumping unconsciously. You angled yourself to look behind Rex. He turned himself around slowly, finding a freshly defaced bush at the edge of the cliff. An uncomfortable silence maintained between the two of you as Rex limped over to the bush cautiously, placing his free hand on one of his holstered pistols as he peered over carefully.

It was a clone, a dead one. The blue 501st markings on his armor were somewhat obscured by blood and dirt, his limbs laid about carelessly and his head slacked back. Rex released his tense grip from his pistol as his features softened in sad realization. He approached the body to examine the armor’s paint job. He knew this clone. He used his free hand to remove his helmet, struggling for a moment without the help of his other hand, but he eventually was able to remove the helmet, revealing the lifeless eyes of a trooper he knew he was so familiar with. Except this clone was not in his bomb disarming squad. No, Rex knew for a fact that his clone was assigned to fight alongside Anakin and Ahoksa. Had his clones managed to meet up with the Generals? Rex’s teeth grit together in frustration as the blaster shots occurring above him became more prominent in his ears.

He turned to face you, you still looking past him in anxious curiosity. Your pupils danced slightly in your eyes as your bottom lip hung open slightly. “What is it…?” You asked, eyes now shooting between the Captain and the bush repeatedly.

“One of my brothers.” Rex replied, eyes closing as his eyebrows came together in thought and grief. He looked back over to the clone, then he looked down, his free hand cupping his hip as he contemplated what to do next. He leaned in to his lost brother, to his lifeless eyes and slack jaw. He took his free hand, stiff in depressed grief, and reached for his brother’s belt. It was obscured in the rough of the bush, so Rex was fishing for it blindly, but he eventually felt his fingers wrap around an object. He pulled his hand out, and found a DC-17 hand blaster. He observed every corner of the weapon as his hand moved accordingly. His finger tapped the trigger lightly as he checked for any damage that the pistol may have sustained. But all he could really notice was the dirt and debris that stuck to the blaster. He wiped the pistol on the bush beneath him, removing most of the dirt. He stuck the pistol in between his armor and belt, mentally thanking his brother for the extra munition, and apologizing for having to leave him behind. He raised his fingers towards the trooper's eyes, and shut them delicately. Rex then turned and limped back over to you, feeling an angered desperation bubble up inside him as images of his dead brother loomed across his mind.

“We need to move out. My men are still up there, fighting without us.” Rex stated as he approached you. “We are both hurt, we have no medical supplies, and we have no food. I don’t care how long it takes us.” Rex felt his jaw clench up as he stopped in front of your feet, his free hand clenched into a fist at his side. He didn’t notice you as his eyes kept fixating on the cliff behind him, your eyes captivated on the physical evidence of his anger. “We are NOT dying down here. Not without saving them first.” Rex demanded, his paternal instinct towards his troopers fully kicking in.

“Okay, then let’s go.” He heard you say.

Rex looked back at you, one eyebrow raised above the other, concern now littering his eyelids as he felt his anger subside. “But your leg, and my… everything.” He looked down at his crutch for a moment. “How are we supposed to get back to them?”

“Captain, I’m fine, really.” You started. “I just need some help standing up, and you have that stick. We should be fine.” He studied you for a moment, unable to discern any intense emotion or opinion from your face. Something told him to be skeptical of your words, but he was unable to see a reason why, so he relented, and stuck his free hand out, offering it to you.

“Let’s go then, General.” You stared at his hand for a moment, more nondescript but noticeably worried expressions warping your face. Whatever you were thinking, you did not make it known to the Captain as you took his hand, gripping it tightly as the effort to make you stand began, making you both grunt in strained pain in the process.

Once you were on your feet, you stumbled forward for a moment, leaning yourself into Rex’s shoulder accidentally, causing your scent to float by Rex’s nose. Another knot stabbed through Rex’s stomach. It was weaker this time, but still something Rex noticed and took note of for later thought, despite the redness he felt growing on his face that he tried to subdue as you were still finding your balance.

You leaned back, finally stabilizing yourself to the ground below. If Rex’s face was still red, you showed no indication that you noticed. Instead, you winced, from what Rex logically assumed was most likely from the large gash in your thigh. He looked down at the wound and noticed that the fabric he tied around it was already turning red. He looked back up at you, you looked anxious to go, somehow completely absent of any evidence of pain or discomfort on your face.

“Are you ready, Captain?” You asked him, not looking at him.

Rex looked back at you cautiously. “Are you sure you can walk by yoursel-”

“YES.” You interrupted, your tone a tad bit harsh as your head turned swiftly to look Rex in the eyes with a stabbing retort. Rex was clearly noticeably taken aback by your response. You took a shallow deep breath in and sighed it out carelessly with your eyes closed. “I told you already that I’m fine Captain, let’s just focus on getting back to the fight.” You turned away from Rex, and placed your eyes at the foot of the cliff. “How are we getting back up there anyway?”

Rex looked to the cliff as well, an unsure anxiety began bubbling up in his stomach. “I’m not exactly sure…” he began, “my plan was to walk along the edge of the cliff… there’s no way we’re climbing, and I doubt anyone is coming for us anytime soon…” Rex assumed, pointing towards his desired direction with his finger.

“We should get started then.”

Rex looked back at you, and you were already walking away. His eyelids jumped at the realization. He immediately pushed his crutch in front of him, propelling him forward as fast as he could handle. He struggled to keep up with your surprisingly quick speed, but he was able to stay close behind you for the most part, only at times finding himself lagging behind. The silence you bore made Rex uneasy. Even in the darkest of situations, he always was able to find comfort in conversing with his brothers. Fives or Jesse would crack a joke that could make even the most shell-shocked trooper lighten up a bit. But this? This is not something he was used to.

But it’s not like this was something he had never encountered before, so he couldn’t understand why this made him feel this uncomfortable. You made it extremely clear to Rex; you wanted your relationship to merely be a professional one, where only cold acknowledgements and dialogues could be found between the two of you. He thought that he could be content with it, but his initial draw to you, the moments he shared with you during the current mission, and the moment of one-sided closeness he had with you made him as confused as he was when you initially cut him out. He just… wanted to talk to you? He felt ridiculous with this realization. Why did he still care so much? You rejected his kindness once, and you were clearly attempting to reject it again with the coldness you presented. There was no point in even trying, Rex thought to himself, you wanted to embark on your journey to heal alone. Maybe not everyone needs to seek support, like how Rex had done time and time again each time he led his brothers to their deaths.

Then he thought about the knot he felt within him when he covered your wound. It almost felt painful, but… in a good way? Rex tried to mimic the feeling from memory to gain a better understanding of it. But it was a feeling he was completely unfamiliar with, all he could recall was the haziness of his mind, forcing him to focus on… certain things. Whatever tightness he felt from within would most likely only be able to return to Rex without his influence.

Rex sighed out his scrambling thoughts, praying that his brain would continue this string of confusing considerations at a more appropriate time. He let his eyes wander to anything that would catch his attention, so he may forget what was making him so sad. But, he found you, his attention focused on the way you moved. It was stiff, unnatural almost, as if you were putting on an act, an act Rex could see existed, but couldn’t understand why. You looked forward, your hood obscuring any chance that Rex would be able to see your face as he lagged behind. Your hands gripped the side of your pants tight, paling your knuckles. You must have assumed your robe covered this, but Rex carved out a large portion of it to wrap up your leg, so when the robe kicked up against the breeze, your hands were easy to see.

But, Rex kept these thoughts to himself. He considered speaking about it, his eyes looked to the ground nervously, his free hand raised into the air as though to assist him in gaining the confidence to speak up. But when he looked back up at you, he remembered what you had said to him mere days ago. To leave you alone, to stop trying to help. Obviously, his help minutes prior to this was warranted, battlefield injuries aren’t something anyone can brush off. But it seemed as though everything had gone back to normal ever since you regained your composure, or whatever composure you were pretending to have. What used to make Rex feel a sort of animosity towards you, now made him sad once again. If something was really wrong, Rex could see that you had no interest in expressing any of it to him, and you wanted nothing to do with him outside of this war. This was the way things were, and he was going to give you the space you wanted, despite the voice in Rex’s head telling him not to.

[kuuchuuburanko]

been feeling a bit nostalgic tonight. I miss the people i used to know online but time spread us far apart and all over the place. wherever they are i hope they're doing well

[clouvu]

Missing my deranged french yuri

[betweenblackberrybranches]

My personal au titled "take me home au"

I have many pages of this written and drawn out in ballpen from last december and i decided to finally remake it digitally to get back into drawing.

This is more of an self insert than a Y/N but i still use y/n because its more comfortable for me.

Moon is just a prickly guy there is no virus

[luvvsoft]

ᰔᩚ lucifer (obey me) x mc! reader, angst, unspoken words + hidden feelings, unrequited feelings (or are they), possibly ooc lucifer but i think he’s secretly soft

word count: 714

i’ve been playing obey me for about 3 years now and this is the first time i’m writing for it .. just diabolical

Loving Lucifer was complicated.

All of Lucifer was complicated, as a matter of fact. He was for one, a demon. A demon who had a tendency of hiding his emotions. Who kept his siblings on a leash and acted as if he could care less, when his actions showed otherwise.

Love was complicated; it threatened to engulf you like the ocean would a defenseless seal pup. You loved more than you could show, loved more than there were observable stars in the universe. You also fell too easily, that was always your Achilles heel.

You were cursed. Cursed to quickly fall, but never to take the time to ease into it. You knew you could, you should, but you wouldn’t.

It just so happened Lucifer was the one you fell for now. How couldn’t you? He was rough around the edges, yet sweet. He was aloof yet he cared much more than he let on. That drew you to him. How couldn’t you fall for someone like him? Someone who loved his siblings so much that he sacrificed himself daily.

Of course, you knew Lucifer didn’t feel the way you did. Your feelings were silly, an unreciprocated school girl crush on someone like him. But that didn’t stop them from festering. They grew in your heart and crept up on all your being, closing up your throat whenever he was near and making your heart palpitate.

You sighed (perhaps for the 50th time today), you were just a human from a human world, brought here to help Diavolo bring the 3 realms together. You had no place in a relationship with Lucifer, someone beyond your scope, beyond your reach. You weren’t nearly enough for a demon of his status, yet you entertained these silly feelings. Maybe it was because of the way he acted around you.

You knocked on Lucifer’s study, determined to deliver Barbatos’ tea. You knew Lucifer was stressed out about all the paperwork you had — you could feel it within your pact. So, you asked Barbatos for his most calming tea.

You inhaled and exhaled, convincing yourself it wasn’t a big deal, nothing to be nervous about.

“Come in,” you heard Lucifer reply moments after you knocked.

You turned the knob, and of course, weren’t surprised by the sight. Lucifer’s study was always clean and neat, despite being under so much pressure.

Lucifer’s eyes were glued onto your figure as he talked, “Yes?”

You took another breath, nothing to be nervous about right, “I brought you some tea. I asked Barbatos about it, don’t worry.”

Lucifer’s lips curved up into a small smile, “Thank you, you can set it down here.”

You smiled back softly before turning around and heading towards the door.

Lucifer called out after you, “Would you like to stay?”

Your face contorted into something between shock and bewilderment before it settled into a wide smile, “Of course.”

You thought about that moment often. It made you feel warm all over, feeding your delusions about what ifs you knew wouldn’t happen. They wouldn’t because of Lucifer.

Despite loving every part of him — from his perfectly combed black hair to his polished brown shining shoes, you were able to admit his aloofness was a major downfall. How he didn’t seem to care hurt sometimes. It hurt to think that maybe, he just didn’t care for you. You knew otherwise, even if he didn’t say it outright, but that didn’t stop your mind from wondering.

You wondered, why did he always run?Why, instead of facing his emotions, did he avoid them, as if they were a plague on his being?

You wondered if he could even stand your very being.

You fell asleep before Lucifer could finish his work.

He sighed, he should have expected this. Of course his workload would finally be finished around midnight.

Lucifer grimanced at your position on the study couch, shifting you into a more comfortable one and covering you with a blanket.

He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead before sitting at the foot of the couch.

You’d never really know how much Lucifer loved you.

[cipher-fresh]

Martha Jones couldn’t recall what Harold Saxon’s political policies were, only that they “sounded good”. I think it would be really funny if Harold Saxon’s legacy as PM was that he was only PM long enough for the US president to spontaneously combust on an airship, and then he disappears to never be seen again, and for some reason people have conflicting accounts on what political party he was even running in.