#like this is very... honest and true and demanding. do you know what i mean

[babyblue711]

Surrender

(Modern AU) Aegon II Targaryen x Female!Reader x Aemond Targaryen - Part 2 (read Part 1 Here) Summary: Having spent the week at the Targaryen's countryside estate, you find yourself pulled into an unexpected tryst when Aemond confronts you about your mixed signals. Words: 5K

Warnings: NSFW, Sexual Content 18+, Smut, Language, Alcohol, Threesome, Lots of Sexual Shenanigans A/N: As requested by popular demand, here is Part 2! I think this was the most fun I've ever had when writing a fic. (And please, for the banner, let's pretend Ewan has one eye for Aemond's sake 😅) I hope you all enjoy! 🔥

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Various forms of tension now fill the house and you can’t help but feel responsible. There is a magnetic attraction that lingers in the air between you and Aegon, but your playful text to Aemond had clearly not been well-received; he had never bothered responding and was now resolutely ignoring you. In return, you mirrored his behavior, determined not to let it affect you.

On Sunday morning, Helaena approaches you with an enticing offer: to extend your stay for the entire week. With your laptop in tow, the prospect of working remotely from their opulent estate is exciting, especially since it means you can continue spending time with Aegon.

Luckily, neither Helaena nor Daeron knows about your hookup with him. For the rest of the week, he visits your bed each night and it is the best sex you’ve ever had in your life. He’s a generous lover, prioritizing your pleasure before his own and his attentiveness afterwards is always exceptional, although he never spends the full night with you. Mindful of Aemond’s text message, you try to tone down your lusty moans of rapture, but you still feel like he knows what’s going on regardless.

On the last full day before you are set to return to the city, you and Aegon make plans to go for another trail ride. However, after lunch he starts to complain of a stomach ache leading Aemond to step in and offer to take you riding instead. This unexpected turn of events leaves you feeling momentarily stunned, given Aemond has been doing a very good job pretending you didn’t exist up until that moment. Despite your reservations, you agree to Aemond's proposal, still feeling a little wary of his sudden change of heart. 

“You can ride on Sunfyre this time,” Aegon groans from the couch, referring to his grey gelding, as you and Aemond head out the door. 

At first you are unsure of what to expect, but soon find yourself embarking on another memorable riding adventure, only this time with Aemond. It quickly becomes apparent that he shares your love for horses and the great outdoors, if not even more passionately than his brother. You make a bit of small talk as you ride, but most of the time, the gentle plodding of your horses’ hooves and the swish of their tails are the only things that can be heard.

The day was hot and humid, though cooler in the shade of the woods along the trail. A few miles into your ride, you come across a babbling stream with crystal water and decide to stop to let the horses rest and take a much needed drink. 

“Thank you for letting me ride Vhagar this week,” you say sincerely, taking a refreshing gulp of water from your canteen, “She’s a good horse.” Aemond offers a small smile, affectionately patting his mare on the neck. 

“No problem,” he replies casually, “She seems to like you and, to be honest, she doesn’t warm up to most people. Typically bucks them off within a few minutes,” he glances up to gauge your reaction. “I figured that’s why Aegon had you take her out, so he could laugh when you fell off,” he adds nonchalantly as if he didn’t just throw Aegon under the bus. 

Your expression falters briefly, causing you to second guess your perception of Aegon if what Aemond is saying is true but you quickly regain your composure.

“Fortunately, that didn’t happen,” you manage to say as Sunfyre starts to paw, splashing water everywhere and soaking your boots. You urge him from the stream before he decides to roll in the cool water and Aemond follows on Vhagar; you swear you think you see a small, smug smile tug on the corners of his lips. 

As you head back home, the mood seems to lighten and you finally feel like you have a small breakthrough with Aemond. Unlike his brother, Aemond’s nature is more naturally reserved, but you are growing to appreciate his calm demeanor in contrast to Aegon's chaotic behavior. He isn’t as quick to laugh or make jokes either, but you manage to coax him into opening up by asking about his interests, particularly books. He eagerly shares insights into the history of the Targaryen family and their estate, keeping the conversation lively until you reach the barn.

You hand Sunfyre off to the attending groom once more, feeling hot and sticky from your ride, eager to get back to the house to take a cool shower. Aemond falls into step beside you. 

“So you and Hel are headed back to the city tomorrow?” Aemond inquires casually.

“Yeah we are, have to get back to the grind,” you say with a sigh, a note of reluctance in your tone. The week spent away from the city, immersed in fresh air and nature, had been incredibly rejuvenating and you weren’t ready to leave just yet. Fortunately, Helaena is also your flatmate, and the prospect of returning to hectic city life isn’t as daunting when you have a familiar companion by your side.

“What are your plans?” you ask him in return, aware of his involvement in the family business and his regular trips to the city too. 

“I have a flight to catch to New York tomorrow. Work trip. It’s always hard to leave Vhagar…,” he trails off with a slight hedge to his voice and you sense he may have more to share, but something seems to be holding him back. 

“Hmm,” you murmur noncommittally, letting the moment ride out, feeling if you were patient, he would speak. It works a little too well. He takes a deep breath before he begins. 

“That text you sent a few days back…,” he starts and your heart instantly leaps. Oh god, here we go, you think, now deeply regretting how shameless you had behaved in the moment.

“Did you mean it?” he asks curiously, catching you completely off guard. You had thought he was about to scold you and you certainly didn’t expect him to be inquisitive instead. Your previous words seem to swim in your mind: [Join us next time, then?]  

Did he think you had been serious? You really had only meant it to tease. Regret bubbles in your stomach. 

“I still hear you every night,” he says quietly, gently, not like a reprimand at all, and you continue to feel more unsettled with each passing moment. You blush, embarrassed that you were having this conversation in broad daylight with Aemond of all people.

“I’m sorry, Aemond, truly, I…I tried to be more quiet…,” you stammer, trailing off as he takes you by the arm, turning you to stop and face him. You stare up into his crystal blue eye, so much lighter than his brother’s, noticing how much taller he is than Aegon too. Up close, his beauty is so breathtaking, the leather eyepatch that covers his left eye only serves to complement his perfect appearance and intrigue you further. Aemond never spoke about what happened to his eye and you were too intimidated to ever ask. 

“It’s not that,” he cuts you off abruptly. “Your offer, did you mean it?” he asks more insistently and you feel like you could shrink under the intensity of his stare. Did you really want to have a threesome with him and Aegon? Cowardly, you opt to take the easy way out.

“It would be up to Aegon, I suppose,” you manage to choke out, feeling confident that Aegon would never agree. The way he possessively devours your body, like he is trying to consume your very being when you are together makes you think he isn’t the type to share.

Aemond nods, seeming satisfied with that answer as he abruptly resumes walking back to the house and you can barely keep up with his long strides. What the hell was that about? 

Feeling refreshed from your cold shower, you open your bathroom door, still wrapped in only a towel to see Aegon sprawled across your bed, giving you a calculated stare. Your heart skips a beat at his unexpected presence in your bedroom and he has a look in his eye you don’t think you’ve seen before. 

“So,” he says lightly and gets right to the point, “You want to have a threesome with Aemond?” 

You gape like a fish out of water as you backtrack. “I - I didn’t say that. Aemond mentioned it to me on the way back to the house,” you mumble, trying not to feel like you’re in trouble.

“Oh really?” he raises an eyebrow, glancing down at his phone, scrolling as if he’s looking for something, “What’s this then?” 

He holds out his phone and shows you a screenshot of the message you had sent to Aemond earlier in the week, inviting him to join you and Aegon. Aemond clearly has shown Aegon proof of your “offer”, the traitor. Clearly, your lighthearted jest has taken an unexpected turn and signals have been crossed between these two brothers. 

Aegon cannot contain a look of triumph as your guilty eyes flash back to his face. Before you can explain more thoroughly he smirks, “I didn’t know you were also into my brother…”

“Aegon, it was just a joke, I was teasing him,” you try to clarify your intentions and prove you aren’t trying to hide anything, now thoroughly wishing you had been this direct with Aemond too. You didn’t foresee it coming back to haunt you like this. 

“Really? Because that’s not what Aemond said,” Aegon counters, “So do you want to? It would be hot watching my brother fuck you,” he adds provocatively and your breath catches in your chest at his words. 

So many emotions whirl through your mind in an instant. Shock. Guilt. Bewilderment. Confusion. Hurt that he would give you up so easily to another man. Excitement. Lust. Desire. Simultaneously, another thought tugs at your heart: a mixture of determination and defiance. You had been so sure that Aegon would be the one to tell Aemond ‘no’ and you were starting to question his attachment to you, if indeed there had been one at all. If he was so willing to share you with someone else, perhaps you should make him regret this decision. The thought of making Aegon insanely jealous ignites a spark of mischief within your chest.

“Fine,” you say coolly, lifting your chin. “I’d love to fuck your brother,” you taunt seductively, pretending not to care more deeply about Aegon than you do and deliberately trying to push his buttons, but Aegon only gives you a devilish grin. 

“Brilliant. I’ll tell him then,” and with that, he springs off your bed, his earlier stomach ache seemingly forgotten, and bounds out the door in search of Aemond. 

You were a nervous wreck the whole rest of the day. What had you just agreed to? You curse your need for revenge on Aegon. 

That evening, you opt to quietly observe Aemond, feeling a need to familiarize yourself with the person that you would soon be sleeping with. While Aegon could be abundantly charming when he wanted to be, Aemond was simply grace incarnate. You pay particular attention to his interactions with each sibling: he is tolerant of Aegon’s antics, patient with the youthfulness of his younger brother, Daeron, and generously kind to his sister, listening to her discussions about various bugs with genuine interest, as if her words are the most interesting thing in the world. Coupled with his ethereal beauty, you start to question that Aemond might actually be the better of the two brothers. Boyfriend material flashes through your mind. 

At last, you bid the group goodnight for the evening and retire to your room. As soon as you shut your door, you sprint to the bathroom, rushing to brush your teeth, apply more deodorant and fix your hair, trying to make yourself as presentable as possible for perfect, proper Aemond. You aren’t sure why you were doing this; why do you care what Aemond thinks of you so much?

Finished with your “prep”, you put on your usual pajamas, wishing you had brought something a little sexier than an oversized t-shirt and shorts and sit on your bed to wait. Soon a soft knock comes from your door and you know instantly it’s Aemond. Aegon never knocks.

“Come in!” you manage to squeak out, voice unusually high, feeling nervous. Aemond enters, looking entirely unruffled, carrying something behind his back. He approaches the bed and reveals his surprise, holding out an expensive bottle of champagne. 

“I figured there’s no hurry,” he remarks casually with a shrug as he opens the bottle and takes a gulp, handing it to you. Feeling a bit unconventional drinking expensive champagne straight from the bottle, you take a sip, enjoying the tangy liquid that runs cool down your throat. 

You both sit in the middle of your large bed facing each other, talking softly while taking turns swigging from the bottle. Soon, you find yourself relaxing and enjoying his company, forgetting that Aegon was supposed to be joining you. You didn’t even wonder where he was. 

When the bottle is empty, you start to feel properly tipsy as Aemond lays a large, warm hand on your leg. You stiffen instantly, unable to help yourself, glancing up into his intense, one-eyed stare.

“I just want to ask, one more time, if you’re sure you want to do this,” he says with soft sincerity. 

This is it. Your way out. You didn’t have to sleep with Aemond. However, you were finding yourself more and more drawn to him as you discovered his admirable traits. You believed deep down that Aemond was genuinely kind, one of those "nice guys," so to speak. Moreover, defiance still pounds in your heart at the thought of making Aegon jealous, if he decided to show up at this point.

“Yeah, I want to Aemond, truly,” you respond genuinely, placing your hand overtop of his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He nods and seems to relax, his sensuous mouth curling into a true smile.

“Should we start without him?” you whisper, alluding to Aegon. 

“Yeah, fuck him, I’m not waiting,” Aemond replies boldly before grabbing you by the ankle and pulling you across the bed so you’re right next to him. You slide easily on the soft satin comforter and giggle in delight. Aemond’s lips meet yours and you sigh into his mouth as you melt into him immediately. 

Aemond's kiss ignites a fire within you; while you considered Aegon a skilled kisser, a few moments with Aemond had you wondering who was better. His kiss is effortless, your lips fitting together flawlessly, his gentle tongue playfully exploring your mouth, as you take turns sucking on each other’s bottom lip. You moan softly as you instinctively grasp his hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you. Already you can feel your core getting slick with desire and an ache forming at the apex of your thighs.

Aemond maneuvers you to lay on your back and settles overtop of you, lightly pressing you under his weight and you surrender once more to a new man, but this one you think might be more worthy than the last. Still clothed, you are fully immersed in battling his tongue when you hear a low whistle.

“You fuckers started without me,” Aegon growls, low and deep, and you jump, startled since you hadn’t heard him come in. You break the kiss with Aemond, turning to look at Aegon standing beside the bed, seeming completely unfazed seeing his younger brother on top of the girl he’s been fucking all week. Aemond ignores him completely as he kisses your exposed neck, pretending like there’s been no interruption. You notice Aegon is holding his own bottle of champagne and a bag of popcorn, now grinning like a barn cat that has just caught the biggest mouse; he moves to sit in the corner and waves his hand for you to continue. 

You roll your eyes and return your attention to Aemond, who is now sucking a hickey onto your collarbone. You decide to get things moving before you lose your nerve now that you have an audience. You slide Aemond's shirt off, taking a moment to appreciate the contours of his fit physique by tracing your fingers across his chest and along the defined muscles of his back. It's almost like a choreographed dance as you and Aemond smoothly help each other out of your clothes, moving with such synchronized ease that it feels like you're perfectly attuned to each other.

As you remove his shorts, his cock springs free, large and heavy against his thigh. Taking him in hand, you give him a few experimental pumps, making him grunt appreciatively; you find yourself absentmindedly wondering who is bigger, the Targaryen men are clearly blessed in this particular department. 

You try to ignore the sounds of Aegon chewing popcorn as you and Aemond settle back onto the bed, completely unclothed now. Aemond doesn’t seem to mind being naked in front of his brother and you take his lead as your heart flutters nervously, still mindful of having a witness. He bites down onto the fleshy part of your breast, sucking with enthusiasm and you don’t even care about the mark you know it’ll leave. He moves on and takes one of your nipples into his mouth next, rolling the other between his fingers as he works his way down your body, finally settling between your thighs and licking your soaked pussy like a lollipop; you both groan with pleasure. You spread your legs wide for him and start to knead your own breasts, putting your body on display for Aegon, feigning more confidence than you felt in the moment. You glance over and see him watching you and Aemond hungrily. 

Aemond’s lips lock around your bud and he sucks harshly causing you to buck your hips into his face and cry aloud, your breath picking up as pleasure courses like electricity through your body. You feel him slip a finger inside of you followed by another and he crooks them against your sweet spot all while continuing to suck on your bud like he is trying to slurp the thickest milkshake. 

It’s not long before your thighs are shaking around his head as you wail in ecstasy, your orgasm ripping through your core, pussy clenching tightly down onto Aemond’s fingers. You no longer notice Aegon’s presence and you secretly hope he’s burning with jealousy at the way Aemond is unraveling you thoroughly. Aegon clears this throat as you come down from your high and return to your senses.

“I want her on top, Aemond,” he commands from the dark corner of the room. You think Aemond will refuse as he isn’t the type that usually takes orders, and especially not from Aegon, but he lays on his back and positions you to hover above him. Achingly slow, still sensitive from your climax, you spear yourself on his hard, thick cock, sinking inch by delicious inch, savoring the stretch of your soft velvet walls. You breathe through your nose as you try to relax and welcome Aemond into your body, joining as one.

You both groan in unison when you finally sit flush against him, his cock buried deep. He gives you a moment to adjust and lets you set the pace. Knowing Aegon is seated behind you, you lean forward slightly, bracing your hands against Aemond’s chest, arching your back as you ride his cock, letting Aegon get the best view of Aemond’s thick length sliding in and out of your tight pussy, no longer feeling insecure about being watched. In this position, your sensitive bud rubs consistently against Aemond’s pubic bone and you can already feel another orgasm mounting deep in your belly. You toss your hair and moan loudly in pleasure, uttering filthy words to Aemond, knowing full well Aegon can hear you too. You want to leave him without any doubt just how much you are enjoying his brother. 

Beneath you, Aemond looks like a fallen angel. His one eye is hooded and dark with lust, the angles of his exquisite face are sharp in the low light, his sensual lips are parted slightly as he pants softly while you move up and down on his length. His luminous blonde hair is splay out on the bed, creating a sort of halo around his head.  You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything more beautiful in your life.

Spurred on by your passionate words of lust, Aemond grasps your hips and picks up the pace, fingers digging into the soft flesh and you hope for bruises. Taking control, he fucks up into you from below, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly. You start mumbling nonstop again, like you always do when you’re about to cum.

“Yeah? You gonna cum on my cock, sweet girl?” Aemond says in a low growl as he watches your tits bounce above him. 

“A-Aemond, don’t stop,” is all you can manage as your peak crashes over you with the force of a hurricane and Aemond groans as your pussy tightens like a vice around him. He rides out your climax, sustaining your pleasure as you soar into oblivion. Finally, feeling like jelly, you topple off of Aemond and onto the soft bed, breathing heavily and trying to recover from your second mind-blowing orgasm. 

“My turn,” suddenly, Aegon stands on the edge of the bed, totally naked and stroking his hard, thick cock. Now that the two are visually out for comparison, you think Aemond’s might be a tad longer, but they are both just as thick.

Your brain feels fuzzy, swirling with endorphins from the rush of your climax. Despite your haze, excitement pulses through your chest when you see that Aegon has finally come to play, hoping he got tired of watching Aemond fuck you so thoroughly. Although being with two men at once is entirely new territory, you trust them completely to take care of you properly and not abuse their positions of power. With a new sense of confidence, adrenaline surges through your veins and you decide to take charge.

“Lay on the bed,” you direct at Aegon and he obeys you instantly, climbing onto the bed and laying his head on your pillow. You crawl over to him, swaying your hips seductively and meeting his dark blue gaze.

“So, did you enjoy watching that?” you purr innocently while taking his cock in your hand and squeezing. 

“More than you know,” he manages to respond before you lower your head and take him in your mouth. Maintaining eye contact with him, you put on a bit of a show as your tongue teases the sensitive tip.

Realizing Aemond is watching from afar, you look over your shoulder at him while continuing to pump Aegon with your other hand. You consider him for a moment, impressed with his endurance as he still hasn’t cum himself, despite riding out your orgasm while buried deep within your body. 

“Aemond, I need you too,” you whine, tossing your hair over your shoulder and bringing your ass in the air, giving him a pointed look; his lips lift in a devilish smirk. 

As Aemond comes to kneel behind you, there is a kinetic sort of energy that passes between the brothers as their eyes meet and you feel a shift as the energy in the room suddenly becomes charged. The hair stands up on the back of your neck and you aren’t entirely sure why; all you know is that you suddenly feel like a lamb caught between two apex predators. Undaunted, the thought makes you chuckle; Aemond has already begun to pick you apart with absurd precision and you feel ready for more. 

You take Aegon into your mouth again as you feel Aemond spread your ass cheeks apart with a firm grip, taking a moment to admire the view before re-entering you from behind, moving slowly to help you adjust to this new angle. You moan in pleasure as Aemond’s cock hits your sweet spot perfectly in this position. Aegon grunts as your moans reverberate around his dick and you hear him whisper “yeah, that’s it,” as your head bobs along his thick length. With one hand wrapped around the rest of Aegon’s girth that you can’t fit into your mouth, the other grips his thigh, trying to hold yourself steady as Aemond’s hips snap roughly into your backside. 

“She really does have the most perfect cunt, brother,” Aemond rumbles, grunting in appreciation as he watches his fat cock slide in and out of you, glistening with your arousal. “You were right.”

“I told you she could be our perfect little slut,” Aegon groans in agreement and gives you a dark smile. You try to ignore the fact that they are talking about you like you aren’t even there. Despite your senses being fully enveloped in a primal sort of lust, you feel a small prick of unease. How much did they discuss about you before today? Have they planned this all along?

You hardly have time to consider further before Aegon takes you by the hair and earnestly starts to fuck your mouth, spit dribbling down your chin as he thrusts in and out. You hollow out your cheeks and try your best to take him, choking at times as his cock touches the back of your throat, all while Aemond continues a steady pace fucking your pussy from behind. Tears prick your eyes and Aegon wipes them away with his thumb, murmuring “good girl” softly and encouraging you to keep going. You watch as his abs contract in pleasure as your tongue swirls around the sensitive tip; you find it becoming more difficult to focus on Aegon as Aemond brings his hand around and starts to play with your bud, rubbing tight, fast circles. Your breath is caught in your chest and you let out a sultry moan. 

For a moment, all that can be heard is heavy breathing, grunts of pleasure, skin slapping erotically, and a juicy sucking noise from your mouth as your orgy progresses. With Aemond’s expert attention on your bud, your walls start to flutter again and you redouble your efforts to suck off Aegon, determined that you both should cum at the same time; his breathing is becoming labored and you know he’s close. Within a few more moments, the three of you climax together in unison; Aegon grunts as his girth pulses in your hand, shooting his seed down your throat just as Aemond’s cock pumps his into your pussy, emptying deep inside you. He gives your ass a hard slap and you wail once more as mind numbing pleasure courses through your belly as your pussy milks Aemond dry.

Swallowing your mouthful, you collapse, exhausted, onto the bed next to Aegon, completely worn out by your third orgasm. Aegon pants softly beside you and Aemond plops down on your other side, the only one to still seem composed despite the sheen of sweat on his chest from his own exertion. 

The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence as your breathing returns to normal. Aegon rolls to his side and captures your lips between his own. You think he’s just giving you a sweet sort of kiss as a “thank you” for a great time, until he takes your leg and swings it over his hip, reaching down and playing with your sensitive bud. You buck you hips away from his hand and whine pathetically, telling him without words that you are almost too sensitive to touch at this point. He shushes you gently and you feel him reach down to your entrance and gather Aemond’s spend that’s leaking from your pussy, bringing it up and circling your bud with a featherlight touch.

You feel Aemond move until he’s spooning you from behind, trapping you. He brushes your hair to the side as he starts to pepper your neck and shoulder with kisses while his large warm hand caresses your back, moving down to squeeze the ample flesh of your ass. Despite your exhaustion, you feel yourself getting aroused again at their attention. Aegon’s skin is burning as you lay facing him, chest to chest, and Aemond is just as hot against your backside. You feel caught between two flames, like you could catch fire entwined around the brothers.

Aegon continues to kiss you slowly, circling your bud, your leg still hooked over his hip when you feel another set of digits come to play at the entrance of your pussy. You flinch slightly, but Aemond doesn’t enter you digitally, instead seeming to gather more fluid on his fingertips. Without warning, you jump when you feel him spreading his spend on your asshole. Aemond hushes you sweetly, kissing right below your ear, as he starts to push ever so gently on your puckered hole. 

“Come now,” Aegon whispers against your lips, “You didn’t really think we would be done with you already, did you?” His hand moves up to tightly grip your thigh around his hip, holding you in place as Aemond slowly starts inserting a digit into your ass, causing you to moan and arch your back, unfamiliar with this new intrusion.

“Hmm,” Aemond hums appreciatively, nibbling on your earlobe as Aegon watches your face. The pressure is mounting as Aemond pushes his thumb into your ass and realization dawns that they are far from finished with you. They aren’t going to stop until every last bit of you is sore from stretching around their thick cocks repeatedly; their intention to possess you both at the same time becomes abundantly clear as Aemond works to open your tight puckered hole and you know they’ll continue to cover your body in bite marks, hickeys, and bruises, effectively marking you as their own. They haven’t even begun to truly consume you yet. 

“Yes, sweet girl,” says Aemond, an authoritative edge to his tone, “We’re just getting started.”

Tags: @rhaenyslay, @elizarbell, @aemondsscar, @peonamay, @cyeco13, @quinnquinn317, @multyfangirl, @myfandomprompts, @thekinslayed, @pandemonium105, @fan-goddess, @vencuyot

[comradekatara]

I’m curious if you have any thoughts about Ty Lee and Mai re: their reasons for and willingness to follow Azula during the course of the show? Their introductions — with Ty Lee initially reluctant and joining out of fear, whereas Mai was all in the moment she showed up in Omashu — contrasted with their endings — Mai growing resentful and eventually betraying Azula, and Ty Lee staying close to her right up to the moment she spots an opening — are so fascinating and emblemic of their characters

yes, exactly. ty lee has to be coerced whereas mai doesn't need to be told twice. more specifically, ty lee had the initiative to run away at some point (it's also far easier to leave your home when you have six identical sisters) and has settled in an environment that she actually enjoys, whereas mai is trapped with her family and takes up azula's offer specifically as a means of escape. that doesn't mean she particularly enjoys the prospect of hunting down the boy she used to like, but she gets to see the world and use her knife skills and hang out with her besties. it's not perfect, but it's still a far better deal than being stuck under the thumb of her controlling mother and scheming father in a foreign city that is essentially a ghost town (now that its entire native population is literally living underground). mai doesn't like being bossed around by azula – or being bossed around by anyone, for that matter – but she knows better than to question the commands of her princess, so she sticks to side-eyeing her as she complies, and only ever denying her requests when azula is too far away to notice ("she can shoot all the lightning at me she wants, i am not going in that wall sludge juice." "just take the bear." etc etc).

ty lee, however, doesn't just comply with azula's commands, she comports herself into the very image of obedience, she forces herself to embody exactly what it is azula wants in a loyal servant, but also in a best friend, and in a beautiful girl. because, like, the thing about mai is that she is really very normal. she uses apathy and sarcasm to mask her true emotions, whether they be fear, rage, or a combination thereof, but she's also quite sincere and blunt and kind. mai adapts to her environment in the sense that she knows to comply with the demands of her family and azula, she knows how to play the part of fire nation noblewoman, but she's not closed off from her feelings, she just presents that way. ty lee, however, is a complete and utter chameleon, to the point that she's somehow the one who seems more sincere out of the pair, even though nary an honest word comes out of her mouth throughout the entire show.

mai expresses her disagreements with azula when she knows that the moment allows for it, and she expresses her irritation, her vulnerability (to an extent), and her emotions when she can. but even when ty lee could choose to be honest, it's like she doesn't actually know how. the most honest ty lee ever actually gets before her betrayal is when she insults mai's makeup, and she's still putting mai down in azula's presence as to establish a hierarchy of affection. even when she's lovingly teasing mai by demonstrating how their friendship is genuine enough that she can insult her instead of vapidly praising her like she does with all those shallow, stupid boys and a certain princess, she's still strategically positioning herself in azula's favor. she operates in a coded language, simultaneously communicating to mai the sincerity of her affection and communicating to azula that they are in fact a pair, teaming up to put down and bully mai as they have been doing since they were children. in the beautiful words of shiv roy, ty lee has never eaten a grapefruit without an agenda.

even though ty lee does seem more loyal to azula despite having to be coerced into joining her, whereas mai seemingly agrees immediately, ty lee is an acrobat and a circus performer; contorting herself to suit the needs of others and appear a certain way to certain people is literally her wheelhouse. whereas mai is a thoughtful yet impulsive, apathetic yet sincere teenage girl. and the cracks in mai's agreeability begin to show as early as in her introductory episode, when azula decides to sacrifice tom-tom to keep bumi, and mai has no choice but to comply with her princess despite obviously wanting to save her baby brother.

mai's loyalty was always on a razor's edge; it was never an ideal situation for her, she just never found a better option. mai lived her whole life in an extremely stifling gilded cage, and she craves enrichment in her enclosure. but then she sees potential beyond the bars, as demonstrated by zuko, and she takes a stand for something she believes in. ty lee doesn't do that, because ty lee does not truly have beliefs beyond her own immediate survival. you can say she values entertainment, laughter, violence that doesn't kill, but i think she'd become anything the world demanded of her without a moment's hesitation. and in this moment, the world demands that she choose. choose between the girl she loved to put down and ostracize within their little trio so as to better curry azula's favor, or the girl who threatened to burn her alive if she did not comply with her every demand. and it should be so obvious, shouldn't it? of course ty lee would choose mai over azula, it's so clear in hindsight. but it shocks azula, and it shocks mai, and it even sort of shocks ty lee herself. because she has done such a good job of hiding her personhood so far beneath her facade that even mai, the one person she cares about more than her own survival, doesn't actually know it.

"anything to get me out of this place," is mai's response to azula's offer. mai was always looking for a better situation, striving for the best possible scenario within a very limited array of options. but ty lee knows what she wants, and she knows she cannot have it, and so she denies herself. denies her own agency, her affections, her desires, her personality, her intelligence, her values. she would do anything to survive, even if it means killing every single true part of herself. mai's betrayal against azula is decidedly a declaration of love, not only for zuko, but also for herself. but ty lee's betrayal is the greatest declaration of love there is. her willingness to throw away her so deliberately, carefully cultivated, precarious security and safety for the sake of someone who doesn't even know that ty lee loves her is such a resounding confession that it actually shocks mai into perfect stillness. mai, who is always so quick to act and react, frozen to the floor by the cosmic weight of this revelation, this paradigm shift. mai had always assumed that she was the discarded, neglected, bullied friend of the trio, the one who would always be second best to azula (and keep in mind ty lee never actually says that azula had to coerce her into joining, she simply says "azula called a little louder," because she is always making mai read between the lines). but here, ty lee proves that there is one she values over her own life and everything she has done to keep it, and it is mai.

"why?" asks azula. "why would you do it? you knew the consequences." i think that mai would gladly throw her worthless life away if it meant dying for something real, something true within a world of masks and lies and manipulations. she knows the consequences, but they no longer matter, now that she has sight of something that she truly, actually cares about. but ty lee is different. ty lee excels in the world of masks, lies, and manipulations, thrives in it to the point that azula, so-called "people person," doesn't even realize that the girl she loves is nothing more than a carefully cultivated phantasm. ty lee truly cares, far more than mai, about the consequences. and yet, when it comes down to it, when she weighs all her options, she not only hurts azula to save mai, but she stays by mai's side through it all. the girl who could effortlessly subdue every guard holding her in place and jump up onto the gondola cord and run across its length to the other side of the volcano within minutes stays next to mai with no resistance, merely sheds her mask to finally glare at azula with her true face. so it is not entirely accurate to say that ty lee's values are conditional and fabricated. there is, in fact, one thing ty lee values above all else, but only when it is true.

[swtnrcmnt]

୨୧ — jj’s confession; s.r (2)

very very high in demand and part 1 is about to hit 1k notes so here u go :))))

warnings: angst, really sad lol, but happy ending ! part one is here

it had been a few days since you and spencer had stopped talking. despite working and living together, the silent treatment had been going strong. you hadn’t really talked to jj either other than giving her a simple nod on a case or a nasty look here and there, though she had been overall avoiding you.

sitting at your desk, doing paperwork, garcia came over to you while staring at spencer the whole time. “hey, um could you come with me for a second i need to tell you something.”

“uh, sure.” putting the files away, you followed her to her little office where she shut the door behind you.

“don’t tell spencer i told you this, but he’s really sorry, y/n. every day since i told you what happened he’s come to me almost crying saying how he doesn’t know what to do and he wants to fix the problem. please just talk to him.” she pleaded, holding onto your arm

“i don’t know penelope.” you sighed, sitting on her chair. “please please please he’s like a sad little lost puppy without you. you don’t have to make everything right all at once but just talk to him.”

“how am i supposed to talk to him though. how are we supposed to make it right again i can’t just excuse him saying he doesn’t know who to choose when we’ve been married for years? there’s no way i could just overlook it.”

“and i get that and you have every reason to be upset. but the silent treatment is just killing the team.” she looked down at you, grabbing your hands “pretty please?” you sighed, agreeing to talk to him.

grabbing your coat and bag, you walked back to spencer’s desk, not making any eye contact with him. “grab your stuff, let’s go.” he immediately followed right behind you.

once you got outside the building, and into your car you headed to a park. the one he had taken you to the night he proposed.

sitting on the bench, you looked up at him. “sit down.”

“i miss you.” was all he said. you could see him looking over at you through the corner of your eye, but all you did was look down.

“where do we go from here, spencer? help me figure this out because i have no idea what to do.” finally looking over at him you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well since he had willingly taken the couch.

“i’m not sure. but i know i have explaining to do.” he sighed, not knowing exactly where to start. “you know when i said that the feelings were only there until you came into my life? that part was true. and when i said i didn’t know who to choose? that part was true too. but only because her whole confession resurfaced buried feelings that i thought i had gotten rid of since we got together. and i know trusting me is the last thing you’re able to do right now, but trust me when i say that when i proposed to you here in this park, and when we got married, and any of the millions of times when i said that i love you. she wasn’t a part of any of that. not even in the slightest.”

he was almost crying at this point, and you could tell the guilt of the whole situation was eating him alive. but that didn’t make anything better.

“i know, spencer. and i really really want to make us work, but i don’t know how i could just move on from this.” you said, looking over at him with tears in your eyes.

his heart dropped. “are you trying to say something?” you couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, the feeling being too painful. “i’m sorry.”

grabbing your hands, he looked over at you. "please. let's work through this. even if it means taking a short break from each other to figure things out, i can't lose you."

your heart breaks just looking at the state he's in. dark circles around his eyes from the lack of sleep, the tears swelling up in his eyes, and the desperation in his face for you to stay.

if you were being completely honest, you really didn't want to leave him, not just because you felt awful for him, but because you know how badly it would hurt you too. you don't think you could ever find a person who could even come close to the kind of person Spencer is. kind, caring, nice, funny, knows exactly what you like and dislike. he was unlike anybody else.

"how about we take some time to think then. i think we could both use that and then we can come to the decision." he looked grateful as ever. "yes, yes. a million times yes let's do that." he said, hugging you tighter than he ever has. "ok don't get too excited."

a few weeks had passed since you decided to take a break to think about where to go next with your relationship, you hadn't seen spencer much since then as he had been spending most of his time teaching and you went to move in with penelope temporarily. you gave spencer a call to let him know you wanted to meet up today at your shared home to talk.

"come in" he said while opening the door for you, he looked happier than usual which settled your nerves a bit more. "so, are we here to talk about our decision?" he asked, you nodded in response

sitting down on the couch together, he started rambling on about how he felt. "i know what i did was an asshole thing and i should have never said anything about anything and you're my wife and that's what i should have said when you asked me who to choose but to be honest there is no need to choose because the only person I have and will ever, ever need is you and forever only you. and i'm so sorry for everything that happened and I hope you feel the same way."

staring at him, you didn't give him an answer which made him nervous. "say something.. please." you just smiled at him

"well. it's going to take a lot of work to get back to where we were, and i hope you know my trust in you has gone down by a bit, but I talked to jj. and i came to the decision that i still want to be with you. because to be honest with you, i don't know how I could ever be with anyone else."

he looked you in the eye, with the biggest smile. "i love you, so so much. more than you'll ever know. it's always been you." he said, pulling you in for a hug and kissing the top of your head

"i love you more, spencer"

hahaha i hope u liked this >:)

i'm not sure how much i like this ending but oh well

@ceruleanrainblues @ssa-jet @fate-posts @lillyrob @sleepymadmess @sebastiansstanswhore @zendayaswrld101

[sunsetkerr]

Y/N L/N BREAKS DOWN 'CORNELIA STREET' | s.kerr

summary: you breakdown the story behind and the lyrics of your song 'cornelia street'. [1k words]

pairing: singer!reader x sam kerr

notes: classic genius video

[STUDIO; PALE PINK BACKGROUND, Y/N SITTING]

Y/N L/N: Hi, I'm Y/N L/N and today I'm breaking down my new single 'Cornelia Street'.

'CORNELIA STREET: THE BREAKDOWN'

[CORNELIA STREET INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]

[STUDIO; PALE PINK BACKGROUND. Y/N SITTING, A SMILE ON HER FACE]

Y/N L/N: I wrote this song about my girlfriend, Sam and how we kinda came to be? I guess? It's about realising how much a newer love means to you and how much it could ruin you.

[INSTRUMENTAL PAUSES]

Y/N L/N: Well.. that was a little dramatic, wasn't it?

'WE WERE IN THE BACKSEAT DRUNK ON SOMETHING STRONGER THAN THE DRINKS IN THE BAR // "I RENT A PLACE ON CORNELIA STREET" I SAY CASUALLY IN THE CAR'

[STUDIO; PALE PINK BACKGROUND. Y/N SITTING, A SMILE ON HER FACE]

Y/N L/N: These lyrics reference one of the first times that I ever met Sam. She was in London and playing for Chelsea, I was there co-writing with another artist at the time and we were introduced by some mutual friends. We ended up in an Uber together after a night out and she asked what I was doing in the UK, and I told her about a little apartment that I rented at the time.

[CUTS TO A CLOSER SHOT OF Y/N'S FACE]

Y/N L/N: She soon became very very well acquainted with that apartment.

'WE WERE A FRESH PAGE ON THE DESK FILLING IN THE BLANKS AS WE GO // AS IF THE STREET LIGHTS POINTED IN AN ARROWHEAD LEADING US HOME'

Y/N L/N: Sam and I weren't really sure what we were doing at the time, if it was official or not, we were making it up as we went really. She's got a super busy schedule, her workload is very demanding. That was something we both came to terms with very quickly in our little 'will they, won't they' situation.

[CUTS TO Y/N HOLDING UP A POLAROID OF SAM POINTING TO THE 'CORNELIA ST' STREET SIGN]

Y/N L/N: I think we were really lucky that my schedule wasn't super hectic at that point in time, because I'm not sure how we would've managed it (CHUCKLES). Now we've been together for nearly two years, we've worked out a system.

'AND I HOPE I NEVER LOSE YOU, HOPE IT NEVER ENDS, I'D NEVER WALK CORNELIA STREET AGAIN // THAT'S THE KIND OF HEARTBREAK TIME COULD NEVER MEND, I'D NEVER WALK CORNELIA STREET AGAIN'

Y/N: This part is my favourite.

[CLIPS OF SAM FILMED ON A SUPER-8 FILM CAMERA, Y/N IS FILMING. SAM IS LAYING ON THE COUCH LOOKING OVER TO Y/N, SHE WAVES SHYLY FROM HER SPOT UNDERNEATH A GREY THROW BLANKET]

Y/N L/N: It's pretty self-explanatory to be completely honest. I don't plan on losing her anytime soon.

[B-ROLL FOOTAGE; SAM SITTING ON A CHAIR BEHIND THE CAMERA, WATCHING Y/N SPEAK. A BIG SMILE ON HER FACE]

'AND BABY, I GET MYSTIFIED BY HOW THIS CITY SCREAMS YOUR NAME // AND BABY, I'M SO TERRIFIED OF IF YOU EVER WALK AWAY'

Y/N L/N: I had never watched football before Sam... like, ever. I wasn't a fan, I had no interest in it. So when we started dating she took me to my first ever game and I watched her play again Man City. The crowd just loved her (Y/N SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISBELIEF). I never realised how much Sam could hold thousands of people in the palm of her hand. They adore her.

[CLIPS OF Y/N ON THE BIG SCREEN AT A CHELSEA GAME, PANS TO SAM ON THE PITCH, SMILING UP AT THE FOOTAGE]

Y/N L/N: It was funny because.. we had just gotten back from flying from.. somewhere? who knows. but Sam had gotten in the morning of the game and the crowd did this chant. It was 'even with jet lag, she's better than you' (LAUGHS).

[CLIP OF THE CROWD CHANTING 'EVEN WITH JET LAG SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU'. SAM TURNING AROUND TO LOOK AT THE CROWD SHYLY]

Y/N L/N: I mean it's true (SHRUGS). I was so taken aback by how much they all just loved her, but now whenever I sit in the crowd section, I make sure we chant it... it's my favourite.

'BACK WHEN WE WERE CARD SHARKS, PLAYING GAMES, I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEADING ME ON // I PACKED MY BAGS, LEFT CORNELIA STREET BEFORE YOU EVEN KNEW I WAS GONE'

Y/N L/N: There was a moment before Sam and I officially got together that I almost.. ran away? kinda.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Kinda?!

Y/N L/N: (LAUGHS ALONG WITH THE CREW) I did, I completely did. I for some reason just got really nervous that she wasn't as serious about it. I had lots of conflicting feelings at the time, but Sam was very quick to get me back on track and make me realise what the important things were.

'BUT THEN YOU CALLED, SHOWED YOUR HAND, I TURNED AROUND BEFORE I HIT THE TUNNEL // SAT ON THE ROOF, YOU AND I'

Y/N L/N: She fixed it all, as she does. Sam is very good at that.

[CLIP OF Y/N AND SAM KISSING OVER THE BARRIER OF CHELSEA'S HOME GROUND]

Y/N L/N: She fixes everything.

'YOU HOLD MY HAND ON THE STREET, WALK ME BACK TO THAT APARTMENT. YEARS AGO, WE WERE JUST INSIDE // BAREFOOT IN THE KITCHEN, SACRED NEW BEGINNINGS THAT BECAME MY RELIGION, LISTEN'

Y/N L/N: I don't stay at Cornelia Street anymore, Sam and I live together now when we're both in London. We went back before I wrote this song and it was so surreal to realise that someone else was now in that apartment.

[PHOTOS OF Y/N AND SAM FADE ONTO THE SCREEN, ALL FROM INSIDE THE CORNELIA STREET APARTMENT]

Y/N L/N: We spent so much time in that apartment it was like our first home together. Really it was just a place for us to spend our down time. I love that apartment and I try to go back every time I'm in London... which is a lot. So, thanks to Cornelia Street for having me and thank you to Sam for having me.

[CUTS TO A CLOSE UP OF Y/N]

Y/N L/N: I'm very lucky.

[paraliveimaginesblog]

Hi! Can I pls request crushing and dating headcanons for GokuLuck? Thank you ❤️😊

Kenta Mikoshiba:

Kenta is like a small dog who gets so excited it bites, nipping at you when he doesn’t mean to just because he doesn’t know what to do with the odd amount of energy coursing through his veins when you’re around. He’s nothing if not painfully honest in regards to the things he dislikes, but when it comes to discerning his true emotions, you think the like and hate line have a very hastily drawn border. He has some contempt for the way you make him feel, and the fact he has a hard time trusting in others, but there’s the giddy side of him that genuinely enjoyed your company and looked forward to talking to you every day.

Not much changed when Kenta was actually your boyfriend. He didn’t like to flex the title unless unnecessary because it was embarrassing to admit he liked someone enough to actually want to be their boyfriend, but you didn’t take it offensively. Seeing the way he dunked on people online who told him to touch grass by mentioning he had a significant other, and that was more than said other person would ever experience, made you giggle. He has a lot of growing to do but you hoped to do it together, knowing that his heart (and his trust) were much more fragile than he might admit.

Ryoga Tosa:

Ryoga is very awkward around you when he has a crush. His stutter gets worse, and he seemed even quieter than usual; the serious look on his face always left you wondering if you rubbed him the wrong way, which directly opposed how he actually felt. He knew being honest was the best idea, but he didn’t exactly see himself as a viable partner, not knowing what he could even offer you in a relationship. He’s content being friendly, but he feels his anger building at the concept of you being with another person romantically.

Ryoga is a protective boyfriend. He doesn’t want you to suffer for his sins, nor does he want you to get a poor reputation because of him, so anyone who has anything nasty to say about you would have to get through him first. He almost doesn’t tell you when insults fly or when he gets into arguments because he doesn’t want you to worry about them or he thinks he should just handle it himself, but you are the person who gets to see the gentler side of this mad dog.

Shion Kaida:

Shion is a smooth operator, flirting with you like it was his second-nature (because it was). He’d become almost too charming for his own good, especially when he saw interest reflected in your eyes; he couldn’t help but launch an attack, wanting to wrap you around his pretty little finger just for all the fun you might bring to his life. Having genuine feelings beyond his normal lust and desire for fulfillment causes him to put a temporary pause on flirting, almost treating you like any other person on the street that he wasn’t attracted to or attempting to sleep with. It’s a defense mechanism more than anything, but he needed time to mull over the feelings in his head and see how you reacted to him pulling back so drastically before he attempted to pursue you seriously.

Shion is a loyal boyfriend. While he remained a little flirty out of habit, he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you. The only person who could satisfy him was you, which was a big responsibility in your eyes but Shion thought you had him handled just fine. He might crave your attention, or demand it depending on his mood, but he returned the affection tenfold. He’d never leave you with a doubt in your mind that he’d love you for an eternity, though he would have to tease you if you were to get jealous of his surface-level interactions with others.

Yuto Inukai:

Yuto considered it a very strong admiration for who you were as a person. He couldn’t help the electricity that shot through him when he saw you, the excitement clear on his face as he tried to think of any excuse he could to talk to you. He felt more at ease talking to you than anyone, trying to ignore the worry that he complained too much and you might think he was a person who only knew how to complain. The romantic feelings aren’t quite obvious until Kenta started dramatically gagging at your interactions, cursing and ordering the two of you to get a room (even though you were simply having a conversation).  

Yuto is a boyfriend who always tried his best. He’s late to dates, he can look a mess when he does show up, but finding that work/life balance is difficult for him. But you’ll have him one hundred percent, even when he’s exhausted to the point of fighting his eyelids despite the sun being high in the sky. He appreciated that you were patient with him, trying to navigate the new relationship by spending as much of his free time with you as possible. He doesn’t expect you to put up with him forever but he hoped to grow into the man you deserved, with a better grasp on his chaotic life.

[mikagecorp]

lmao whats their response to the age old question: Would you love me if I was a worm?

love, me :)

if you were a worm, i'd put you in a plastic oil drum and make you compost all of my table scraps until you eventually became one with the soil 💕

@ratspoison

characters ━ itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, chigiri hyouma, isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, yukimiya kenyu

warnings ━ none

consider yourself single if you ask rin this question

with blue lock's schedule, bro barely has time to text his parents on a regular basis. if you hit bro with 'would you love me if i was a worm' he'd block you and never speak to you again

but really, he'd think that's so foolish of you

is it not enough that he likes you as a human?

(what a lukewarm question)

rin's trustworthy, but now he has to wonder if there's another reason to ask such a question

what's the true meaning behind this worm???

you'd have to catch him awake to do any of that

and if he's awake, he's probably doing a million things, like training or conditioning or gaming

for someone who finds working hard 'troublesome', nagi seems to be the one working the hardest out of everyone

if he does call you, though, expect him to regret it almost as soon as you pop the question

'would you love me if i was a worm?'

'you exhaust me'

though, even if you'd been joking and had forgotten about it, you'd be getting a text in the middle of the night, days later

'if you were a worm, i'd build you a little worm house, and feed you only the finest worm meals'

'would you love me if i was a worm?'

'well. . .i guess i've made worse decisions in my life'

super chill about it, has definitely heard similar things from his older sister

honestly, he's kind of a natural at the whole dating thing

don't tell him that though, it'll go to his head

it helps that he's such a genuine guy, he doesn't have to lie when he says things in order to comfort someone else

it's the way he says it; most people who are 'brutally honest' tend to be crude with everything they say

chigiri only talks like that when he's talking to kunigami's mean ass

my guy is speechless

dude knows nothing about relationships and it's very obvious, so he'll search for the right answer rather than the honest answer

'i...i think so?'

in reality, you couldn't pay isagi a hundred bucks to pick up a worm

he's not afraid, he just thinks they're nasty

he. . .might be a little scared

he just doesn't want to touch a worm, okay?

but he will, if his s/o becomes a worm. he will face his fear for the greater good

it's not a matter of what his answer is: it's a matter of who asks first

bachira would 100% call you up in the middle of the night in a panic, like he just got hit by a car and needed a ride to the emergency room

'bachira, what's wrong?'

'babe! would you love me if i was a worm?!'

you don't deserve a hello when bachira's demanding an answer to such an important question

''i might love you if you were a bee, not a worm. what about me? would you love me if i was a worm?'

he'd spend the rest of the night trying to decide what kind of insect you would be, because he wouldn't let his s/o be a worm of all thing

yuki is my friend's favourite, and lucky for her, i think he'd be very princely about it

'i'd never stop loving you, even until the ends of the earth. even if you were a worm.'

it's okay to gag at him, he deserves it

but if he knows you think it's cringey he'll just keep doing it

for a few weeks, everything he does around you ends up being a callback to the worm question

even if it was a joke, yukimiya will make you regret ever asking it

and he'll be so sweet about it to

changes your name in his phone to 'my worm❤️' and expects you to appreciate the new nickname

he's not changing it until you appreciate it

appreciate the nickname!

[writefightandflightclub]

A little burnt(out): Moon Boys (Steven Grant + Marc Spector) x fem!reader

Summary: you are feeling a little bit “useless”, and your Moon Boys are there to prove to you that’s categorically not true.

Genre: hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort - predominantly fluffy.

Rating: teen (but my blog is 18+ / minors DNI)

Author’s note: this is self-indulgent and I’m not even sure it counts as a fic per se, but I’m sharing as there’s a chance someone may enjoy it! This fic is a riff off of (recent/current) personal experiences with what I believe is autistic* burnout, but it’s kept quite general so might be suitable for anyone who is experiencing a whole range of things with similar symptoms (to oversimplify - fatigue, overwhelm etc. etc.). For obvious reasons, I chose the Moon Boys for this one! Written super quickly on my lunch break so don’t expect too much lol!

*that’s a whole other very long story as someone who is trying to get a late diagnosis in my thirties but anyway…

Warnings: maybe read the a/n to get a sense of the themes this tackles and see if it’s for you? Thx!

Gif: by @jenwallters

You had even failed to make coffee.

How?!

The thing you do on autopilot several times a day.

Well… Somehow, you had.

There is oat milk languishing in the microwave.

A boiled kettle which is now cooling, and three empty mugs sat on top of the kitchen counter.

“Er. Are you alright, love?” Steven probes gently, evidently seeing your failed attempt at making coffee for him and you and Marc (he likes it differently to Steven) as he emerges from the bathroom.

You simply pull the duvet more securely over your sarcastic, throbbing head. “Yeah. Clearly.” You ball your fists up and dig them into your eye sockets, scrubbing away the embarrassment of bubbling tears suddenly crowding your eyeballs.

Still, as much as you hate yourself for being unable to function the way you generally can, you have to admit it feels sort of nice to hide under here, in the dark and the quiet. To leave the demands -however small- behind. To be honest with yourself, and listen to your body. For once.

You ignore your body far too often. Shush what it’s trying to tell you - until it’s too late. Until your body has to scream or snap to make itself heard. Too much. Too loud. Too tired. Too long.

You can do plenty. And because you can do it, you often ignore the toll it’s taking on you, particularly when the outputs exceed your inputs. When your life isn’t set-up in the best way to make sure you can function sustainably. For the long-haul. Instead of this boom and bust cycle you seem to have found yourself trapped in, each “bust” growing harder and harder to drag yourself out of.

You refuse to listen to your body, but it always catches you up eventually - and this time, it feels harder than ever to spring back from.

Progress is slow. Whatever “progress” means anyway - an endless pursuit for more, better, faster, and perhaps you’re tiring of that. Perhaps you want things to be slow and light and easy. Soft.

Truly, lying here is just about all your body has the energy for today, even if -in contrast- your mind is racing, as per usual. Urging you to do everything.

You hear Steven sigh, and eventually, you hear the wobble of the heating kettle and tinkle of the tea spoon as he kindly finishes your task for you.

Next, you feel his weight gently dip the mattress next to you, those hefty cheeks making quite the impression. “Coffee, love,” Steven offers, in an attempt to coax you out from your duvet den. “Come and get it while it’s hot, yeah?”

You sigh, but not at him. Only because you’re fed up with yourself. At how long it’s taking to recover. So long, that you wonder if you’ll ever be able to operate like you used to. At the same time, operating like you used to fills you with a sort of dread, as you know that was precisely the problem. That it was precisely what pushed you too far in the first place.

“Come and get these lips while they’re hot, Marc says,” Steven relays on his behalf. “Got a big fat kiss waiting for you, yeah?”

Alright. Well you can’t resist that, now can you?

You abruptly shove the covers down with your forearms, squinting against the assault of the gentle light. Even these subdued sensations prove too much with your currently reduced threshold of tolerance, apparently. Regardless, you allow your grumpy face to pop into view.

Despite your grumpiness, though, Steven looks endlessly happy to see you, a soft, angelic smile lilting over his mouth. He dips to kiss your grumpy mouth, the tender, lingering press of his lips dissolving the frown from off your face like sugar stirred into sweet tea. “Morning, my goddess.”

“Pfft,” you protest, as if you could possibly be anyone’s “goddess”. Goddesses don’t cry so much in the shower, do they? Don’t have a meltdowns over report deadlines? Right? “Can’t even make a cup of coffee right anymore.”

Even so, you can’t help but notice that Steven is gazing at you like you hung the stars.

Steven’s eyebrows rise up, his expression still soft and open. Free of judgement. “That’s alright. Got your ol’ boyfriend to do it for you, ain’t you?”

Despite his sunshine -or perhaps because of his disarming brightness - your eyes close tiredly. You feel drained already, even though you’ve just woken up. Even though you’d tried to get an early night last night. Even though you’d already pruned your schedule to within an inch of its life to try and aid your recovery. “I’m just tired, Steven. Really tired.”

You feel a mess of scribbles suddenly animate in the pit of your stomach.

Full of calm, Steven sets the steaming mug down on the coaster to your side, and he reaches to tuck the duvet more closely around your chest, making you all comfy-cosy.

Still, the light frown which settles on his brow shows that he knows. That he understands. Knows you don’t mean that you need sleep. That your tiredness goes deeper than that. He’s been in that place before, after all. Has plenty to say about that.

Steven doesn’t respond in words, though. Instead, he settles his warm hand on top of yours and he nods slowly, demonstrating he’s hearing you. Validating you. That he accepts that when you say you are tired, that’s the truth. It sounds simple enough, but you’ve had an unfortunate pattern of people dismissing you throughout your life. Dismissing your challenges and struggles whenever you have spoken up, which has made it harder to trust now that your assertions will be taken at face value.

The truth is though, that by the time you actually express that you can’t continue, you’ve likely already pushed yourself far beyond your ideal limit. That it has been some time since you found yourself unable to continue, but that you “stubborned” your way through it anyway.

Steven and Marc and Jake understand. They have shown, through their words and actions, that they believe what you tell them - and after a lifetime of being sidelined, that’s no small thing.

You watch his expression shift as his eyebrows knot and travel up, his eyes shining with concern. His whole being a picture of receptiveness. Eager to listen. Promising to hear you.

You are grateful.

That openness provides you the space to say it. “I want to be better, Steven. It’s just… taking so long. I don’t even know when the last time I had energy was. Like, proper energy. I’m talking enough energy. Even tiny things seem so overwhelming. And… I can’t… I don’t think I can do it anymore. I can’t keep up.”

It’s true. Even the most basic of routines feels too much for you right now. And meanwhile, all your usual tasks and responsibilities have been piling up. So many deadlines looming. An ever expanding “to do” list. But, try as you might, you simply can’t manage to pull it back. It seems the harder you try the further you dig yourself down into this pit. The more depleted you feel. The less you are able to do the more you try to scrabble your way out of it.

You’ve tried, but you’ve been so overloaded and overwhelmed for so long that all your resources are just… gone. Right now, it knocks you into the red just to perform basic tasks, and you feel like you’ll never be in credit with your energy again.

You’re trying to go easy on yourself and allow yourself the space to recover - Steven and Marc and Jake have been supportive every step of the way too - but this coffee? That was the final straw. One of many final straws, it seems, as you keep finding yourself surprised by how many straws there are left to draw. An abundance of straws appearing from nowhere when you least expect them. How it keeps getting a bit worse without getting better.

Meanwhile, everything else is there waiting for you. Expecting you to carry on as “normal”. Your job, friends, family. You’ve told them. You’ve said, I can’t keep doing this. But they see you keep going anyway, and assume you’re fine.

Well, sometimes that is normal for you. To go go go a mile a minute. But, you are trying to accept that this is also a part of your normal too. Sometimes you can go full pelt, and sometimes… you can’t. It’s like… every activity has a cost, but unfortunately the price tags remain hidden from you. That is, until your bill hits the mat with a thud, and then suddenly you’re expected to pay up all at once. What’s more, you can never quite predict when that day is going to come.

Your boyfriends are different though, and for that, you are grateful. They know your experience is real and valid, and they acknowledge what you need. Even if you can’t always do that yourself - after so many years of masking and pushing aside your own needs until you couldn’t even recognise them.

“It’s okay,” Steven soothes, and you take a moment to admire the specific shapes the coils of his hair are making today - everyday a new delight. You’re trying to mindful of all the little things which replenish you. There is something to cling on to. “S’alright if you can’t do it for now, love. I mean… It’s okay if you can never do it again, to be fair.”

Your eyes brim with sorry tears. “I feel useless.”

Steven looks positively affronted on your behalf. He doesn’t like it when you’re unkind to yourself. You know it breaks his heart, but you can’t help it. He clamps both his hands around yours now, squeezing tight. “Aww. Come on. Look. You’re definitely not.” He brushes your face tenderly with the crook of his finger, and you know you must still look sceptical. Steven tries again, a truly valiant effort. “Anyway, you don’t even need to have a use, sweetheart. You’re a human being, not a bloody JML gadget.” Steven laughs lightly at his own attempt at kitchen-appliance-themed humour, and you manage a watery smile, at least.

“Steven…”

You shake your head, about to protest further, but he is having none of it. “How about you drink your coffee, darling, and we make it nice and dark and quiet in here, yeah?”

That does sound nice. Sounds like what you need so desperately. Still, it’s hard to allow yourself to rest. To say no to things. “We’re not going to do anything today? We need to do a food shop and I told Max I would help her with the-“

“Ssshhh,” Steven soothes. “Forget all that, yeah?”

He stands and efficiently flips the blinds. Dims the lights, before returning to you.

You take a deep breath, basking in the relief of having fewer things on your plate. Steven, for his part, scoops up the warm squashy covers and wriggles in beside you, fitting his body around yours - securely, like a big spoon.

You feel his next words warmly against the back of your neck. “You’re a human being not a human doing. Remember, love?”

You can’t help but scoff fondly at that. “Christ. You’re so cheesy, Steven.” Still, you wiggle yourself closer to him, and settle your arms on top of his where they loop around your middle.

“Maybe. But I make a mean coffee though.”

You snicker at that. “No. No, your coffee is sweet, Steven. I doubt you could make a mean thing even if you tried.”

He exhales a gentle laugh into your skin, and you feel and hear the soft wet smack as he plants a gentle kiss right behind your ear.

“What about those biscuits I made last week? They were pretty bloody offensive, weren’t they?”

You laugh. “A little burnt,” you admit, smoothing your hand over his.

You breathe in deeply, remembering. You hold your breath for a moment before you let it go, and when you do you feel a modicum of the tension eke away from your body. Steven simply nuzzles happily against you, seeming perfectly content with just this.

Today, this is all that matters.

You simply get to be.

No rushing. No expectations.

Only rest.

And that is more than enough.

You feel a little better already. More able to cope with the day, even as your eyes wander to the scene of your prior failure, Marc’s mug still steaming on the counter.

Wait.

Actually…

“Oh. Shit. Tell Marc not to drink his coffee would you, honey?”

“Too late,” Marc’s voice sounds against your neck, startling you just a tad. “I already tried it.”

Yikes.

You swivel on to your back to greet him and he remains on his side, propping his head with his elbow to get a better look at you. You slide your palm up his face by way of greeting - and apology. “Shit, sorry.”

His mouth slants into a lopsided smile. “Flour instead of sugar? Now that’s a mean coffee, babe.”

You snicker, facepalming at your slip-up, and Marc strokes his hand over your hair, studying you with a gentle vigour. Tracing nonsense shapes along your arm with his fingertips.

“Listen,” he says after a while and you tense up, his voice weighed down and a tension settled on his brow. “You’re not useless. I just needed you to hear that from me too, okay?”

You knew he’d been listening. Knew that he’d have something to say on the matter. No way he was going to let that one slide.

You can hear from the weight in his words that Marc never wants you to so much as think anything like that about yourself ever again.

“No?” you ask weakly. “Even taking into account the, um, flour in the coffee situation?” You suck air through your teeth.

Marc bends to press a lingering, soft, slow morning kiss to your mouth, and even after he has pulled back your lips still tingle. “Even then, honey.”

Marc looks down at you then with such sincerity that you could swear that -between him and Steven showering you in love- your heart grows three sizes.

Maybe it’s true - all that the boys have been telling you.

Maybe it’s not your fault that certain things seem to take a harsher toll on you, on occasion.

Maybe it is as real and valid as you’ve always suspected.

For years, you’d wondered if you had been making it up. Wondered if you should simply be able to… manage. But, pushing your discomfort away and extending yourself beyond your personal limits again and again -attempting to just manage- was exactly what had pushed you into this pit, over and over and over.

Besides, each time you found yourself here, it was proving harder and harder to crawl out of it.

Something has to give, you think. And you can’t change the world and you can’t change your wiring. Maybe all you can change -apart from the practical structures and features of your days, deciphering what support you may need - is believing you are enough, just as you are?

After all, Marc and Steven and Jake seem to have no trouble at all believing that.

Your chest tightens with the feeling of being so loved. So understood. So accepted. Your voice splits apart with a raw emotion. You could say a million things, but you only have the energy for three little words. “I love you.”

Marc’s full lips curl up at corners, his deep brown eyes glistening with emotion. “We love you too, Princess.”

Eagerly, he sinks his mouth to yours for another slow kiss.

You focus on just being.

Being here with him.

With them.

This is not just enough.

This?

This is everything.

It will all be okay.

[profoundbondfanfic]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you)

heard from your mother (she don’t recognize you) by rupertgayes (@rupertgayes) Rating: Mature Word Count: 538k

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things: Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; he has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; he keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who must be as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is. For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

Are you in the mood to experience the whole story developing a bit differently right from the start?

Then here you go!

On one hand there is Dean, still having a hard time handling his brother leaving for college years ago and trying to somehow manage by doing his due diligence as a hunter and following his father’s demands to the letter. Somewhere along the way, however, he starts to constantly cross paths with a man who remembers nothing from his life apart from his name and a strong urge to hunt monsters. At first Dean has no idea what to make of this guy who calls himself Cas, but over time their connection and relationship grows into something very personal as everything around them unravels.

If you ever wanted to know what would happen if you were to throw Cas into pre canon and early season SPN, this series certainly doesn’t hesitate to show you just that! Cas has no clue where he is coming from, who he even is deep down, and yet he gives it his everything to use his abilities to save as many people as possible. 

And Dean, bless him, simply can’t help but be drawn to all of that (because how could he not?), no matter how hard he fights it. Since at the end of the day he is still Dean Winchester who’s simply unable to resist a blue-eyed weirdo of a guy who could very well be an actual honest-to-God angel or whatever (not that something like that exists, right?? RIGHT????) by the way he is acting and showing off his strange powers and all that. Poor Dean is just helpless and it’s the greatest fun to see him sinking deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole!

But it’s also intriguing to watch everything unfold in a slightly different manner, with some crucial details changed, and the mystery of Cas’ past, of his true being, is wonderfully depicted as they gather more and more breadcrumbs over time. I mean, technically we all know the answer to the puzzle that is Cas, contrary to the characters, and yet (or maybe especially because of it) you find yourself ridiculously invested.

And yes, this series is a big boy, I’ll give it that, but I promise you it’s worth it and you will barely feel time flying by as you dive into this alternate and yet so very familiar version of events which are going to leave you on the edge of your seat!

So please, have fun 😁

[sirianasims]

They say the first holiday after a divorce is the hardest. But Samuel and I had been co-parenting pretty well for a few months now, surely we could handle being in the same room for Winterfest.

For the girls. Right?

It started fine. The girls were thrilled to have us together instead of alternating between the house and Samuel’s new apartment. They were playing happily while Samuel set the table and I prepared dinner.

“Would you like some wine, Samuel?”

“What?”

“I found a bottle from when you still lived here. Do you want any?”

He came into the kitchen.

“Sure? It’s just… very out of character for you to offer me alcohol.”

“True. But you’re not going to be kissing me later, so I don’t mind.”

He didn’t respond.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Samuel. That was insensitive of me.”

“Uh, yeah. Too soon.”

I nodded and poured a glass of wine, handed it to him.

“Sorry. A peace offering. I’m trying, Samuel, I really am.”

“I know. Thank you.”

It took ages to get the girls to fall asleep after dinner, they were too excited about the presents tomorrow. By the time we managed, we were both tired as well. Samuel was nursing his third glass of wine, sitting next to the pile of duvets and pillows I had brought him.

“Samuel, you don’t have to sleep on the couch, you know. The girls are going to wake you up at dawn, demanding presents. Do you want to switch? I stay here and you can take the bed?”

“No! I mean, no thanks.”

I was startled by the force of his reply.

“Sorry, Freya. I don’t think I could ever sleep in that bed again to be honest.”

“Oh. If it helps, neither could I, so I got a new bed. You’re welcome to it. I promise no one but me and Hailey and Ivy ever touched it.”

“Thanks, but I’m fine with the couch.”

I was about to leave when he spoke again, his back turned to me.

“Freya, I need to know. Did you ever love me?”

The truth will set you free.

“No, Samuel. I’m sorry, but no. I really thought I did. You were my best friend, and you were – you are – very attractive. We seemed so perfect together and I guess I didn’t want anyone else to take you away from me. I wanted to be the one who got you, to… win. And before I knew it, we were married and…”

“I see. I guess I should be flattered to be considered a trophy husband.”

“Sorry. I think I loved the idea of you, of us, but not…”

“Not the reality. I get it. I think I always knew. Or suspected.”

He sighed.

“You know, in a way, that makes it easier. It would be so much harder for me to understand how you could ever have done this to me if you loved me the way I love you. Goodnight, Freya.”

beginning / previous / next

[paperdoll201]

The Interview

1250 words

Interviewer: Welcome to or welcome back to The Late Night at Godolkin! Tonight, we've got some heavy hitters in the studio - none other than the power couple themselves, Jordan Li and Marie Moreau! Ranked number two and seven, respectively, these two aren't just powerful, they're practically campus royalty! So, Jordan, Marie, how does it feel being our very own God U's favorite couple? Pressure much?

Jordan: (chuckles) Favorite? Not surprising, we’re fucking amazing, so nah, it’s no pressure.

Interviewer: (laughs) How modest! The whole campus has been talking about you guys. So, spill- tell us how two souls like yourselves, amidst the chaos of campus life while being superheroes, found their way to...well, this? Tell us your origin story!

Marie: (blushing) Oh, you know, we didn’t exactly get along at first. First time I met them, we didn’t immediately… click.

Jordan: (chuckles) Yeah, she stormed into my office, demanded to speak to Professor Brink, and insulted my intelligence all within the same breath. Not before flirting with me first.

Marie: (nudges Jordan playfully) That is not what fucking happened and you know it, Jordan.

Jordan: (raises an eyebrow at Marie) Yeah? What was inaccurate about what I said then?

Marie: (rolls her eyes) Shut up, oh my god. They (Jordan had) rejected me from Intro to Crimefighting so, of course, I had to come in hot. But it ended up working out for us anyway.

Jordan: Yeah

Interviewer: (teasingly) Great how that worked out for you guys! So, who made the first move? I’m feeling like it was Jordan? Tell me it was Jordan (laughs)

Marie: (laughs softly) Actually, it was me. We were “studying” (air quotes) in Jordan’s room and (we) decided to take a smoke break. Well, Jordan did and they had asked me if I wanted a hit (of weed) as well. Anyways, like an hour and a half later, I’m high off my fucking mind and I kind of just turn to Jordan and ask “I think you’re pretty, cool, and fun! Wanna go out?”

Interviewer: Awwww oh my god, that’s so cute! And Jordan you probably immediately said yes right?

Jordan: (smiling) Nah. I told Marie to wait a few hours after she came the fuck back to Earth to ask me that again. She (Marie) didn’t remember asking me that. Kinda had geared her to ask me again. Definitely said yes the second time though.

Interviewer: So I have to ask: there are still many on this campus and to be honest the entire country who find both of your respective powers to be… interesting. What do you have to say to that?

Jordan: (raises brow) If by interesting you mean fucking weird? I mean it does suck. I wish that people could see me as me and not some freak show you know? But in the meantime, they can all just suck my gigantic *bleep* and my *bleep* cause I could give less of a *bleeping bleep* and *bleep*everyone who wants to *bleeping* say *bleeping* otherwise.

Interviewer: (laughs nervously)  Wow… you are passionate about this topic-

Jordan: True

Interviewer: —so Marie, what’s your response?

Marie: (smiles) Yeah, I agree with Jordan. I don’t particularly like the fact that my powers are seen as unhygienic and whatnot but it is what it is. So yeah, everyone can go suck it!

Jordan: You’re so cute babe.

Marie: (smiling) I know!

Interviewer: I love it! So, shifting topics slightly, what do you guys like to do for fun then?

Marie: (looks over to Jordan) What do we like to do for fun? Uhhh… what do we like to do for fun Jordan?

Jordan: We like to fuck. Hard.

Marie: (slaps Jordan’s arm) Jordan! Be serious right now.

Jordan: (shrugs) I am serious though.

Interviewer: We’ll just cut that out and try that question again-

**************

Interviewer: So what do you guys do in your free time? Movies? Dinners?

Jordan: I am being silenced so no comment. 

Marie: Yeah we have movie nights and stuff. We also train a lot together! Jordan’s been really helpful to me with that (rubs Jordan’s thigh)

Jordan: We also like to fu-

Interviewer: Moving on! So, asking some stupid questions that I got from Google-

Jordan: (interrupts) Why are you asking us stupid questions?

Marie: Jordan my god! I will hurt you, stop it!

Jordan: Oh baby, please do.

Interviewer: (nervously chuckles) Anyways, the question is: “If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs—such as food and water—were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?”

Marie: Probably my knife and my journal. 

Interviewer: Yeah? Why those two things specifically?

Marie: Well, my knife goes with me everywhere, if I need blood, it's (the knife) the fastest way for me to get access to it. And I’d bring my journal so I can document everything. Keep track of how many days have passed, my thoughts, my feelings etcetera. 

Interviewer: Makes sense! Jordan, how about you?

Jordan: Easy. My phone, earbuds, and Marie.

Marie: (raises an eyebrow at Jordan) First of all; the question said two items not three and second of all, I am not an item.

Jordan: (grins) Didn’t say you were babe

Marie: But you implied it when you grouped me in your answer… with two other items Jordan.

Jordan: (grins fucking wider) No you did, just now. You referred to yourself as an item, not I (shrugs)

Marie: Jordan I will seriously fucking hurt you.

Jordan: (leans to Marie) Again, please fucking do.

Marie: Weirdo.

Jordan: I don’t deny.

Interviewer: Okayyyy so Jordan, why those three—sorry two items then?

Jordan: Bringing my phone so I can try my hardest to get the fuck off the island. My earbuds just in case I can’t escape, I can at least listen to good music while I suffer in my personal hell. And Marie so we can fu-

Interviewer: (shakes head frantically) Alright, I’m just going to move on to my last question then. (chuckles extremely nervously) How would you describe your partnership?

Marie: I’d say we're each other's anchors, a reality check when things get too…crazy. Jordan pulls me back from the edge, and I help them stay grounded. We challenge each other, support each other, and most importantly, have each other's backs.

Jordan: Definitely. Marie inspires me to be better, to never lose sight of what's truly important. And she's got this incredibly unwavering faith in me, even when I doubt myself. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that to be honest. I love her (Marie)

Marie: (smiles) And I love you!

Interviewer: Beautiful note to end with! Thank you, Marie and Jordan, for sharing your beautiful story. 

Jordan: Thanks for having us Jayda

Interviewer: (eye slightly twitches) It’s Justine.

Jordan: Oops

Justine: And thank you, to my listeners, for tuning in tonight and every Friday for The Late Night at Godolkin. Next week, we’ll have our very own Dean Shetty gracing our podcast and sharing her insights. Goodnight everyone, see you next week!

AND CUT 

******************

The air crackled with a sudden awkwardness in the podcast booth. Justine, the producer, dropped her headphones with a huff, the silence deafening after their segment. "Look, guys," she said, crossing her arms, "I know I said you could loosen up a bit, cuss here and there, but I didn’t mean in every damn sentence. This is a professional podcast.

"Well, shit, Justine," they drawled, "should've fucking clarified that from the start then-"

“What they mean,” Marie interrupted quickly, giving Jordan a pointed look, “is that we’re sorry and it won’t happen again Jasmine.” Marie finished flashing a warm smile in her direction.

“It’s Justine!” Justine snarled before storming off.

“Whoops.”

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

i think the reason why people don’t like mai for zuko is because zuko is already a very grumpy, angry, pessimistic person and so is mai soo they reasoning is that he needs somebody with a more opposite and optimistic, personality like jin and katara who are more nice and caring than mai idk cause zuko does cheer up a little at the end aand katara is more supporting at the end at least oor that’s what people say idk what do you think? why does zuko chooses mai and not jin or katara? and what do you think of the people who “knows whats best for z ??

Anon, I'm gonna be honest here: the people that genuinely dislike Mai with any kind of bias affecting their judgement are very rare. Anyone who tells you the overwhelming hate she gets, both as Zuko's girlfriend and as her own character, are not 99% the result of zutarians being bitter that she "stole Katara's man" are either lying to you or were lied to.

Mai, alongside Ty Lee, is one of the most chill antagonists of the show. Zuko was far grumpier and MUCH more furious than she ever was. Hell, her main deal is that she is always too chill because she was taught to repress her emotions and not voice her opinions.

THIS is why she is Zuko's true opposite, the yin to his yang. When he is letting his emotions cloud his judgement, she's the voice of reason. And in turn, when she's getting too distant, he makes get out of her shell and connect. They've had their issues, sure, but by the end of the show they were all pretty much fixed.

Also, I would NOT call Zuko a pessimistic character. He has low points and moments of panic, but that boy kept himself mostly sane during three years of exile by holding onto to hope that, maybe, just maybe, this supposedly dead enemy of his nation that had been seen in 100 years was not actually dead, thus his mission wasn't pointless, and he'd have a way home. Just look at how over-confident Zuko is battle and at how many life threatening situations he got himself into because he acted without a plan, assuming that everything would turn out alright somehow. That boy is an optimist. A grumpy, moody, reckless optimist, but still.

Again, that's the kind of situation where he and Mai would ballance each other out. She likes the thrill of these adventures as much he does, but she will NOT act without thinking. Hell, she won't even put up with stuff that is not dangerous but that she considers beaneath her (see her refusing to follow orders in "The Drill").

This is thing that really bothers me about shipping, not just in this fandom: people forget that no one wants to date their clone, but no one wants to date their COMPLETE opposite either. You need common ground.

Katara and Zuko have the same temperament - proud, strong-willed, stubborn, wearing their hearts in their sleeves, and willing to get VERY mean when pissed off (never forget the "The stars look beautiful tonight. Too bad you can't see them, Toph!"). Then being a couple would just BEGGING for them to have some very ugly fights. As for their differences? Like I've said a million times before, their goals in life are so different they wouldn't even live in the same country. How could a romance between EVER work?

Ty Lee's temperament would be a good ballance for Zuko's, but the most common ground they have is they hang out with the same two girls and maaaaybe Zuko believes in auras too since he basically demanded Mai to defend herself when Ty Lee insulted her aura (this is totally not me letting my headcanon of Zuko taking that stuff 100% serious and writting down everything Ty Lee says on the topic cloud my judgement). Other than that, we see that Zuko clearly wants to be Fire Lord, and while Ty Lee just wanted to go back to the circus or travel around with her new friends. We barely get any interaction between them, so acting like there's evidence for her to be his perfect match is quite the stretch.

Same for Jin. They got along well enough on their date, but that was just for short bit of an episode, not even the entire episode itself. That's too little to claim she could be "the one" for him.

With Mai meanwhile, we had a ton of episodes, in which we got to see their relationship's ups and downs, and see that they managed to bounce back from some pretty serious conflicts and still clearly adore each other after it all.

As for Zuko choosing her over any other girl, it's simple. He likes her. He likes her dry/sarcastic humor, how badass she is, how much she enjoys physical affection, how she doesn't put with any bullshit fro anyone (including himself), how she was bold enough to basically tell him, Azula and Ty Lee to fuck off, how pretty she is when she hates the world (unbelievably iconic line) etc.

Mai is Zuko's type of girl, she likes him back, and they are compatible, and thus they ended up together. It's not rocket science.

[plusvanity]

Alright so, I wouldn't have finished this so soon but some of you showed interest in my silly ramblings sooooo... here are some of my headcanons for Larry's 'aloof' personality.

Asperger Syndrome

-Since he was a small child, there were a few behavioral differences between him and the rest of the children.

He never really knew how to properly communicate. That might be very common in children BUT he literally had struggles trying to explain anything. Sentences like: 'I want that' or 'can I have that?' were never on his tongue and lots of time he'd get upset at himself/ people around him for not being able to read his mind and take care of his demands. This kind of behavior crosses a bit into 'anti-social' tenancies. (Hard time to communicate, preferred playing alone, very poor social skills, etc) Shortly, his 'forever-upset' personality resulted in children excluding/ isolating him from their games and plays.

-Larry didn't know why nobody wanted to play with him, why everybody avoided him like plague and gave him dubious looks. Throughout his kindergarten and early-school years he never made friends, never had any significant relationships except with his parents.

Why did nobody see these signs and act accordingly?

We're in the late 90's. There's no such thing as ‘diagnosing kids with mental illness’ unless they've got some kind of schizophrenia that really makes them act out. Parents had little to no information about mental health, let alone autism and how it manifests in children. Rough times but that's how they were.

-Growing up lonely, Larry found his refuge in drawing and writing silly little cartoon stories. Solo hobbies are extremely common in the autistic spectrum, especially when they come in package with die-hard fixations/ obsessions.

-Sensorial sensibility: he can’t stand bright lights in his basement. That’s why he always keeps a small desk lamp on and nothing else to see around him.

-In school, he did poorly. The motto was: it’s either you’re the only one who gets it and nobody else does OR everybody else gets it and you’re the only one who doesn’t. No way in between these two.

-The internal struggle of 'Why am I like this? Why do they hate me? What's wrong with me?' never left his brain. Now, communication was absolutely required no matter if he liked it or not. That's school, you're supposed to answer stuff, use your brains to solve problems and get through the day.

-Firstly, he did what his autistic mind told him to do.. he went fully fucking honest and blunt. With every occasion when he got asked about something, he innocently pointed out everything that bothered him/ seemed wrong or annoying without any fucking filter whatsoever. Needless to say, his true-nature approach didn’t escape punishment. His mother was called, the teachers complained that he’s ‘too mean and arrogant’ , ‘never focused’ , ‘too lazy and selfish’ etc. Everything while Larry looked like a fucking deer in the highlights telling his mom that he didn't do nothing wrong.

-When he finally understood that ‘being honest’ wasn't the key for normal human-communication, that's when his mind began searching for other ways to go by.

-Masking-

Masking was the second option.

-He watched, heard, studied, learned and taught himself the Fine Arts of mimicking normal human response in social situations. Now, that's how he mostly made it work.

-As a chill but tragically misunderstood child, he had finally learned how to make friends. It started with Ash and Maple (alternative music and general outcasts) and later in middle-school, Ash presented him to Todd. (Now, I'd rant about Rob and their 'brother from another mother' dynamic and friendship but that's for another long post if any of you are interested)

-When his father abruptly disappeared from the family frame, it just.... made everything ten thousand times worse for Larry (This is gonna be another post if you're interested)

-All in all, now with a select group of friends he’s still aloof, weird, too loud or too quiet sometimes BUT at least he’s not alone and miserable anymore.

Normally, he's a laid back dude, a stoner (autism and substance abuse is another headache of a post..) a metalhead and maybe just a little delinquent sometimes after 8 pm because of teenage rebellion and all that stuff.

-His ‘masking act’ falls sometimes when he talks about painting, video games, music and basically everything that interests him. Asperger in boys is a lot different than in girls. Girls tend to keep their ‘masking act’ better than boys as boys often don't realize when they slip and start talking miles and miles about their favorite hobbies/ subjects without noticing if the person they're talking to completely loses their interest or gets angry for being talked over and interrupted all the time.

His friends find him a bit annoying at times cause… fuck, who like being talked over? but they’re so used to him that it’s just common and gets easily forgotten.

-When the sudden chronic-insomnia hit him, the fatigue and lethargy didn't go unnoticed by Lisa. Finally, she managed to drag him to a doctor that surprisingly or not, completely missed to diagnose him with autism. The shrink blamed his insomnia on weed (another rant here) and …. ADHD?. Larry took the classic DSM-4 test (oh boy, gotta love the 90′s..) it came back negative on symptoms, confirming everybody that he didn't have ADHD. (Now, I know that the two behavioral illnesses often came in package but with Larry it wasn't the case) After that, nobody did anything.

-Now, he lives freely his teenage years hanging out with Sal, regularly smoking weed, getting deeply offended by the un-true belief that he might have ADHD, still trying to figure out what's actually wrong with him that no shrink or DSM could tell and ultimately enjoying his hobbies and little shenanigans him and his best amigo do.

-The ‘masking act’ has long become an automatic behavior, an unconscious switch for normal social situations so, now he’s most definitely not aware that he’s doing it. 

Sal highly suspects him of being autistic due to the fact that he had far more contacts with doctors and psychiatrists in his entire life that he knows VERY WELL the red flags or autistic behaviors. That and because of their first interaction when Larry was like ‘Sup, you like metal? You GOTTA like metal!’ it screams autism from a fucking mile.

This post is embarrassingly LONG and useless.. and I'll shut the fuck up now for real. BUT If anyone feels like asking questions or going deeper down this rabbit hole, feel free to text me <3 as I love waffling about psychology and pretty much anything lol.

Sorry for my bad English, I did my best in trying to explain all that's written above. These are just some of my little silly headcanons and possibly?? more in-depth explanations for some of the things that go on in my SF fanfic.

Ko-fi l  DeviantArt

[chiarrara]

Nanami anon here. I really hope they develop Mahoro with these sorts of themes in mind. I can't believe I forgot the princess aspect of Nanami, it's such a big thing in Utena in regards to self delusion and how people end up stuck in gendered social roles. This general perspective is what's keeping me interested in Bucchigiri cuz I can see so much potential for that sort of depth. I'm so glad I could help spark this sort of discussion (it's been sorta hard to find people willing to engage with these kind of interpretations).

Hiiii Nanami anon! I'm so glad you came back!!

Yes I think this story is so interesting even just in the potential it sets up. If it doesn't deliver on that potential it could be disappointing, I guess. but it brings up a lot of interesting discussions either way, so I'm just enjoying where we are right now and the conversations going on in the criminally tiny fandom.

To be completely honest i spent a lot of time arguing with people about the literary worth of this show on another platform and it was just depressing. Nobody wanted to engage deeper than surface level appeal, and only would approach it through an extremely narrow lens of expected tropes of the type of show *they* wanted to watch, and a demand for pandering to one type of fan in a genre it doesn't even really belong to, instead of honestly approaching it for what it is and the story it's trying to tell. I've been trying to curate my experience more so I can actually enjoy myself, and interacting with the small community of people here who actually like to enjoy and analyze the show within the literary conversation it's clearly trying to have has been so much more fulfilling.

ANYWAY, I love what you're bringing up because self-delusion is such a big theme here! and specifically how it interacts with compulsory gender roles!!! Like, Arajin is trying so hard to fulfill compulsory heterosexuality, but is running away from the very masculine coded honor-through-fighting that senya and the general culture value. A lot of people suspect that his pursuit of losing his virginity is a way to make up for his self-perceived weakness and failure to uphold the masculine ideal of honor-through-fighting when he was young.

THEN when MAHORO stands up and displays that ideal, he is able to achieve it (at least for a moment). There's also discussion that if this follows Aladdin, he's going to lose the genie and some point and will have to essentially prove himself as honorable without the genie's help. This could be interesting. We'll see what happens.

So is fighting masculine coded in this show? Or is it just the height of honor? Or is fighting for the right reasons or in the right ways honorable. Because not all the fighting is portrayed as a good thing.... I'm thinking out loud here.

Anyway, Mahoro is also stuck in this gendered role obviously, but I wonder how much self-delusion will play into it. She believed she needed to use her role as a cute girl to stop the fight, but all those attempts failed. Ultimately what worked was dropping the facade, dropping the role & those tactics, and standing up to fuckface (i do not care about this man I'm so sorry lol) as HERSELF. Saying what she really thought, how she really felt about these people and the whole situation. And basically willing to sacrifice her well-being to do so. Ooooh this is so interesting!!!!

I really can't wait to see where this goes, I know I keep saying that but. It's true. I mean, Matakara could be said to have some delusions about honor. Maybe the way he sees his brother is diluted. He believes in Arajin to a fault, but he was proven correct. Although it wasn't him that sparked the change. I dunno, a lot to think about.

I'm so glad I could be an intermediary for this discussion! I don't know anything about Utena, but if y'all do feel free to talk through me lol. I'm loving this.

[ailendolin]

Thomas’ relationship with his mother implies he was given all the necessary love and affection a child should receive, and his desperation for acceptance is silly and not born from any deep-seated abandonment issues. Everything else about his portrayal is contrary to this premise. It’s so odd

Thank you for bringing this up because I've been wanting to make a post about the scene in 3x05 for ages and never gotten around to it.

The thing with Thomas is: he doesn't lie. That's established in canon. He is an honest person - almost brutally so if we think of the painting or Button FM. So when he says his mother was there but not really there, I just can't chalk it up to him being dramatic. Because the way this scene is built is similar to the way he talks about his death. Both are painful memories for him, and in both cases he distracts his audience from that pain. He makes up a ridiculous kiss with Isabelle that never happened (an embellishment or wishful thinking on his part, if you will, to make it less painful) so who's to say he isn't doing the same when he says his mother eventually came to comfort him?

We know from the book that she did support his writing endeavours so him saying she introduced him to publishers is true and we can assume the same for her putting up his poems on the walls. But while financial and professional support is certainly nice to have, I think what Thomas actually longed for and didn't get is emotional support: a hug when he was upset, a kiss on his knee when he scraped it, a bedtime story to help him fall asleep after a nightmare.

There is obviously a lot of room of interpretation here but I'd go so far as to say that Thomas's mother was emotionally distant and that there's more to what he says about her than meets the eye. The poems on the wall, for example: who's to say that wasn't as far as her interest in them went? Imagine little Thomas, proud and grinning, handing her a poem he's just written; imagine his mother merely glancing down at it before handing it over to a maid to frame it and add it to the collection on the wall. That's neither being loving nor supportive. That's having no interest in your child.

We could always look at it the other way around, too: what if she'd gushed about his poems as if they were the best thing ever written in the history of mankind, giving him false expectations? What if she'd lied to him about how good they are? People lying to him is a theme that's connected to Thomas's character as much as him feeling alone and unloved is. You have Francis lying to him to get Isabelle, you have people in his life constantly pretending to like his poetry because that's what etiquette demanded, you have Alison lying to him about what con means ... So what if his mother was the first person who lied to him - about his poems, perhaps even about loving him?

Interestingly, Thomas never mentions his father or any siblings which could mean that he's an only child and his father either left the family or died, perhaps even before he was born. It could also mean that his mother remarried and he grew up in a household where he was always something of an outsider, a reminder of the past (which might explain why he doesn't sound Scottish btw). It's all speculation, obviously, but he could have very well been the Cinderella of his family - tolerated but not truly loved.

Again, I'm just trying to offer a different perspective on a scene which, at first glance, looks like nothing more than Thomas being dramatic and attention-seeking as always. I'm not saying my interpretation is right, but given that Thomas has a history of making light of his own painful memories, I think there's at least a possibility that there's more to his story about his mother than meets the eye.

[obsidiancreates]

A Lot To Chew

(Different Vampire AU than the last one, this one is Comedic. I just love Vampire AUs.)

Burton Guster doesn't see his best friend in the world until ten years after graduation. He gets postcards with no return address, from all over the world, but no sight nor sound otherwise.

Until he wakes up one night in 2006 to the sight of his formerly MIA best friend leaning over him with glowing red eyes, a gift-wrapped but obviously identifiable pineapple in his hand, and a wild grin with two sharp fangs visible in the moonlight from the window.

Gus's scream is so loud and shrill it actually sends Shawn to the ground, hands clamped over his ears and an equally shrill scream coming out of him.

Gus leaps out of bed and grabs his bible and a cross, backing into a corner and holding both out! Shawn gets up, rubbing his ears and sending Gus a glare.

"Not cool, dude. Is that any way to greet your best friend after a decade?"

"You better be in some crazy costume, Shawn!" Gus keeps the cross aloft in front of him.

"Well, if you'd let me explain before you stake me-"

"Oh my god."

"Listen, I know this seems bad but good news, I can totally live off stuff like rare steaks. ... Bad news, I can't shapeshift or anything like that. Medium news, I can totally help you move your couch with like, one hand if you need me to."

"Are you actually Shawn?"

"Gus. What kind of question is that? Obviously even if I wasn't I'd say yes."

"Ha! You can't be Shawn, you're too honest."

"Are you saying I'm less honest than a demon? What proof do you need from me to put down the cross, man?"

"... When'd we meet?"

"Uh, basically birth, and then when we were five we officially declared ourselves the best friends in the entire world."

"... Alright. Okay. Why'd you get kicked out of church?"

"First of all, I did not get kicked out- Father Wesley politely suggested we stop attending."

Gus lowers the cross slightly. "That's the same thing, Shawn."

"No, because I think getting kicked out of a church would mean lightning strikes me and I get blown out as a pile of ashes."

The cross goes all the way down, but he keeps a grip on it. "Oh my god. You're really you."

"Duh!"

"And you're a vampire."

"For about five years now, yes."

"What? You don't look twenty-three."

"Yeah, well, apparently an animal blood diet means I'm still aging. I mean, I'm aging well, no doubts about it- and even the supernatural had very little to improve on with my hair."

"How did this even happen?"

"Kind of a long story, buddy. And a little gruesome. Do you still throw up at stressful situations?"

"Shawn."

"That's a yes. I'll tell you another time, but, I came here for a reason."

"To drink my blood?" He raises the cross again. "Condemn me to share your eternal damnation because your love for me has been twisted by your monstrous transformation."

"Dude. That's way too dramatic and absurd, nothing like that. I'm here because we're going to become private investigators together!"

"What?!"

"Yeah! I need you to go out and do stuff during the day, obviously, but-"

"I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming."

"I know, right? Dream come true. Anyway, the thing is the cops brought me in for questioning tonight because I called in a tip and when they wouldn't stop insisting my Nighttime Lifestyle pointed to me being a criminal I ended up telling them I was psychic and the spirits demand I only work at night-"

"You lied to the cops?!"

"Gus, I'm a vampire. What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, maybe hypnotize them to let you go?!"

"... Huh. ... That would've been a great plan, actually. Whoops."

[howyouloveyourdragon]

Could you do a yandere rhaenyra targaryen x lady in waiting hcs

absolutely my dear reader :)

she learned from the best so, like her uncle, she's very possessive and jealous

her main yandere traits are her possessiveness, jealousy and protectiveness if it takes kidnapping to keep you then she will do without any concerns

her tendencies and affections develop over time rather than at first sight especially after alicent's betrayal

alicent was her closest confidant and her first true love whether that be romantic or platonic (but lets be honest there is no way either of those women are straight) so it will take her awhile to trust again

i imagine that you were alicent's replacement after she married viserys and so she's very sharp at first, telling you to leave her as soon as your duties end

and you listen, you do as instructed and make to leave her as usual...until she calls for you

but there is just something in her stomach that nags at her when you brush through her hair, something that itches at her when you get close

so when you are far from her she calls for you, demanding that you drop everything to attend to her which essentially just means having you join her at events so she whisper you jests and mock the men wishing to court her and harvest offspring like cattle

it's only when she drags you into becoming her partner in rebellion that she realises how hot her feelings burn for you

you're laughing as you run through the castle together

she grips your hand tight as a dragon's saddle as you sneak off into a corridor together and in a spur of impulse her lips press to yours before she could take control of herself

that's when her obsession starts, she can't get enough of the plump caress your lips give her

you've turned into her very special secret

but she won't let you become somebody else's

so what once was enjoying your company turns to locking you in her rooms until she can join you

you're her love she can't let men chase after you, she trusted alicent and she ended up marrying her father

and you're just so pretty and sweet and you make her laugh, she couldn't let anyone see you lest she lose you, she knows daemon would enjoy taunting you and he abandoned her–she was his own flesh and blood he might do worse to you, it was rumoured he had killed his last wife

no she needed to lock you up nice and safe

when she marries laenor, no one questions why the two women take up the dancefloor every song nor when Rhaenyra attempts to scare men away from her friend like a guard dog if they get to close

neither is it very surprising when she takes you to dragonstone

i think she'd still allow you certain freedoms, she loves when you ride on Syrax with her (she loves the feeling of your arms wrapped around her) but don't think she'd let you with any other dragon

it's her job to keep you protected and she'll be damned if she fails at that

in fact you're not allowed anywhere without her, she has you trail behind her like a puppy

sure you have your own chambers but she has passageways built between them and her own so that she can sneak in without suspicion

teachers her children to also call you their mother

she absolutely melts when she sees you caring after them

rhaenyra did consider asking for daemon to impregnate you so she could imagine you both caring for a child as close to both your dna as possible but quickly squashed that idea due to her own jealousy, she couldn't have anyone touching you

she tries to stay subtle but fails miserably, holding your hand in hers always; at meetings, in court and especially when Lucerys' claim to Driftmark is questioned, it soothes her like nothing else

she's a loving and protective yandere so she will never hurt you even by accident however the same cannot be said for those who hurt you in any regard

whether someone hatches a rumour or slaps you, she is punishing them in such a high degree that they'll wish she only set them aflame

how dare they hurt her lady, don't they know you're belong to a queen?