#like very consistently you click post A & it shows you posts 1 then 2 then 3

[emdotcom]

I have a wild, new, & bold suggestion for a tumblr feature:

When a tag is recommended or trending. & It previews some posts IN that tag, (showing you thumbnails of art, for instance,) then maybe.

Clicking on that post. Should show you that fucking post.

[solarsturniolo]

Hiii, I’m Natalie but you can call me Nat 💋. I’m 22 and have been watching the triplets since spring 2022. Not much you need to know about me tbh and not that you or anyone else really cares anyways.

I am an adult, i do write adult content about other adults. if this makes you uncomfortable, you are not obligated to read any of it and i wholeheartedly understand. Also keep in mind that I am an adult and i work a full time job. Writing is my hobby. I will not be as consistent with posting because I do have other priorities that come first. I will try to update as much as possible, but once again I am an adult with an adult life and adult responsibilities. All I ask is that you stay patient with me and show some grace where it is needed. I work very hard on my writing and appreciate any attention that it gets, please do not blow up my inbox repeatedly with the same prompt. I promise you that I see it.

Here is a masterlist of everything that I write, I'll do my best to keep it updated!

I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO MY WORKS BEING REPOSTED ONTO THIS PLATFORM OR ANOTHER PLATFORM. IF YOU REUPLOAD MY WRITING AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO GET A LAWYER INVOLVED. WRITE YOUR OWN, POST YOUR OWN. DO NOT REPOST MY WRITING. REPOSTING MY STUFF WITHOUT MY CONSENT IS AN ALL RIGHTS RESERVED COPYRIGHT VIOLATION AND YOU CAN BE CONVICTED WITH A COPYRIGHT CRIME. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND JUST DONT REPOST MY STUFF :)

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, click here!

Also, here is a reminder of how to NOT inbox me about inquiries on updates, new prompts, or just in general. Click here!

Key

🚀 - smut

✨ - fluff

🪐- angst

🌌- other

ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 1 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 2 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 3 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 4 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 5 (final part) 🚀

✫彡 Nail Tech (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Twisted (Coming Soon)

✫彡 The Ice Breaker (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Nothing (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Dr.Feelgood (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Record Label (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Money, Money, Money (Coming Soon)

✫彡 The Irony of Choking On a Lifesaver (Coming Soon)

✫彡 King of the Jungle (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris pt 2 ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris pt 3✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Christ pt 4 ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris pt 2 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris pt 3 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Chris

HEADCANONS

✫彡 Sub!Chris 🚀🌌

✫彡 Overstimulated (Coming soon)

𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 We're Just Friends pt 1 🚀

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 2 🚀

✫彡 We're Just Friends pt 3 🪐✨🌌

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 4

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 5 (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Not My First Rodeo (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Creep (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Temporary Bliss (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Pugs 'N’ Kisses Prologue 🪐🚀🌌

✫彡 Pugs 'N' Kisses: One

✫彡 Nothing 🪐🌌

✫彡 Comfort Zone (Coming Soon) ✨

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 1 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 2 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 3 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 4

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 5

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 6

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 7

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Matt

HEADCANONS

✫彡 Sub!Matt 🚀🌌

✫彡 NSFW Alphabet 🚀🌌

✫彡 Overstimulated 🚀🌌

✫彡 Dom!Matt (Coming Soon)

THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT: STEP SIBLINGS??????????, Nick x fem!reader, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or tendencies, incest???!!!!!!, sensitive topics such as eating disorders, abuse, etc, any kinks involving urine or feces, beastiality, SEXUAL ASSAULT OR R*PE, (this list will probably be continued at some point but this is what i have for now)

Natalie’s Recommended

These are all great stories that I’ve read and recommend! Definitely check these stories out!

ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Panty Thief by @evieolo

✫彡 Lollipop by @freshloverr (Part two here!)

✫彡“Cool Spider” by @gamermattsgf

𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Dark Paradise (series) by @lacysturniolo

✫彡 Painted by @flowerxbunnie

✫彡 Ink by @flowerxbunnie

[universalitgirlsblog2]

🩰🎀THE ULTIMATE SONG JIA GUIDE🩰🎀

As it was requested by anon , I decided to make Song Jia Guide. Thank you for the request ! I'm a Pringie , I love Song Jia and she is an amazing role model. I will try to make more guides in future. I will recommend some videos also , I got this idea from liliwon guides ( I miss her so much 💕)

Contents of the post

🩰Self care

🧸Jia's mindset

💕Beauty

🦢Routines

🎀CARPE DIEM !!

🧁Playlist

(Credits to owner)

🩰SELF CARE

Most vlogs of Song Jia are related to self care. If you check her comment section too , you will see others commenting about how she inspired them to take care of themselves and it's true. Song Jia takes exquisite care of herself . Treat yourself like you want to be treated by others. Taking care of ourselves will make us look better and when we look good , we feel good too ! Self care is also a way of putting ourselves first and fulfilling our own needs. It's not selfish or wrong , it's necessary and will make you feel energetic. Jia takes good care of herself - her skin , hair , body etc .

1)🩰 Skincare

First , Jia washes her face and then uses a mist instead of a toner. Then she uses ampoule . Jia said that if someone has dry skin like her , the k booster ampoule can help them alot . If this ampoule seems way too expensive , then she recommended NEOGEN. Then, Jia uses Hyaluron Performance Serum. According to Jia , being consistent & diligent will help one to improve their skin. Incase someone has messed up skin where their pores expand alot , Jia recommended one more ampoule, Jericho Rose Bifida Serum Filming Drop. Jia also recommended ATOBARRIER365 Cream , the cream fills all the damaged skin barriers. She uses this cream mandatorily. If you are going to use makeup , then put on a sunscreen. If you aren't going to use makeup and will go out naturally then you need put on a layer . You can maintain it moisturized. Jia used Timeless Intensive Care cream, the cream may look heavy for those who have dry skin like Jia . Also use the cream on neck too since neck gets old really fast so care for your neck too !! Jia uses Collagen Eye Cream Jericho Rose tube , she said that she always used eye cream since eye rim & neck get wrinkles easily & skin of eye rim get dry faster than other parts of our body. She uses eye cream mandatorily. This is a routine followed by Jia at home. Incase , she is going outside , she puts Centella Soothing Sheet Mask. She takes great care of her neck too , she uses Two creams for her neck, one is Collagen bouncing elasticity cream & the other is Ultra Radiance Base Concentrate Mask. Also you can put the leftover cream on your elbow. Not only skincare but pillowcase is also important. Wash the pillowcase often so you don't get skin problems. Don't touch your face with dirty hands. Try not to put the cellphone on your face . Jia mentioned it alot of times that consistency is important if one wants to improve their skin . It's okay you can't buy the products she mentioned , just try to follow the simple tips given by her . Jia routine can be used as inspiration. Jia also gets facial treatments . You can take inspiration from her to have a skincare routine .

2🩰) Workout

Jia does light exercises - stretching & pilates . In her recent video , Jia recommended alot of exercises to maintain good posture. Since she has majored in dance, she naturally has a good posture . Hinafit also posted a pilates routine inspired by her. Jia posted her pilates routine long ago but when the scandal happened she deleted all her videos . Here is the link of her original pilates routine - click me!

3🩰) Hair Care

Jia has very beautiful & healthy hair . Her hair is goals ngl. In her recent video , she was getting scalp treatment. She said that if someone is in their 20s or below 20 , they should do scalp treatment /massage at home . I also found a pin related to Jia , it showed the names of products used by her in a video . I hope it helps .

🩰Useful Videos for all points I have mentioned till now

🧸JIA'S MINDSET

🧸1) SELF LOVE

Jia really loves herself & always puts herself . She loves herself & that's why she is so magnetic. She herself claimed that she had princess sickness, she is happy & satisfied with herself . She puts herself first . Also , her taking care of herself , having that girl mindset , being magnetic ; it all stems from self love . She highly values herself.

🧸2)HIGH STANDARDS

Jia has high standards for herself. She never settles for less . She said that it was hard for her to have a crush as her standards are as high as Mt.Everest & she won't lower them for a man. You should too have high standards & never settle for less . Whether it's a relationship or friendship, know your worth & have standards . It's okay to be selective & picky .

🧸3) CUT OFF

Jia mentioned in one of her videos how she cut off people who hurt her. She said how it was our life & we should never waste time stressing over others.

🧸4 ) IDAF

Jia shared how she doesn't care what others think about her , even if one person dislikes her she doesn't care. Her life revolves around herself & only herself ! You should be more like Song Jia too . If you always care about what others think , you will be their puppet.

🧸5) FAITH

Jia believes in herself . She knows she has done well till now & will continue to do well. She doesn't allow past mistakes to demotivate her. She believes she can do anything , she puts her mind into!

🧸6)ABUNDANCE MINDSET

Jia has abundance mindset . When you have an abundance mindset , you know if it something doesn't work out , you will always have other options . When you have a lack mindset , you make decisions & put efforts from a state of fear whereas When you have an abundance mindset , you make decisions from confidence. Affirmations you can use to master abundance mindset. Click me

🧸7) FEMININE ENERGY

Jia is in her feminine energy , she embodies the affirmation " I don't chase, I attract ". Everything about her whether it's her style or her vibes or manners , it reflects her femininity. She embraces her femininity. Her body language is soft & elegant.

🧸8) MAIN CHARACTER

In Single inferno , The moment Jia entered, all eyes were on her. She radiates main character energy. She knows she is the main character of her life. Others are just side characters . You are the main character of your life, it's about you !!! Your life should revolve around you and only you !!

🧸9) MYSTERY

Jia shared how if it's someone she has never met , she doesn't share anything about her. Also , in one of her videos she shared how we should never share our secrets with others since it can be used against us . Jia doesn't overexplain or reveal herself.

🧸10) HAVE GOALS

Jia said that people become lazy when they have no goals. If you have a goal or an objective in life , you will get a reason to wake up. You will make efforts to achieve those goals.

🧸11) YOU ARE THE PRIZE

In single's inferno, Jia never chased any guy. It was the other way around. She is a self concept icon , she believed that she was chosen and the prize.

💕BEAUTY

💕1) FASHION SENSE

Jia has impeccable taste in fashion, she follows celebs for inspiration too . Her style is casual, simple yet stylish. She knows the importance of accessories . Trust me , accessories can level up your outfit. Her style is also feminine , like I said before ,she embraces her femininity.

💕2) MAKEUP

Jia experiments with make up , her make up looks are always so good !! She even tried make up inspired by celebrities like Wonyoung , Kylie Jenner etc . She uses makeup to embrace her feminine features .

💕3) BEAUTY TIPS FROM JIA'S Q & A

💕Drink alot of water since it's good for skin. 💕Stretch your shoulders & back for straight shoulders

💕Do side exercises for thin waist

💕Jia uses two different creams for morning(Heibrilliant Intensive deep moisture cream ) and night ( WEYERGANS Timeless Intensive Care cream ) .

💕Jia visits dermatologist once a week.

💕She puts eye cream not only around her eyes but also on her neck

💕When you curl your lashes , heat the curler three times with lighter. Don't do it too much . Touch it when you think it's okay. Curl your eyelashes in an upwards direction. Use a spoolie to lift eyelash & separate each lash before applying light mascara that doesn't make lashes droopy.

Mascara recommended by Jia- 1) Clio Kill lash super proof mascara long curling

2) MAYBELLINE New York colossal waterproof mascara

🦢ROUTINES

Jia lives a healthy lifestyle & encourages her fans to do the same . She has routines. Having a routine gives you a direction & a reason to wake up . Routines bring you closer to your goals. When we have a routine , we become organized disciplined & stable. When we are organized, our mind becomes organized & our life also becomes organized. Have a study routine or a self care routine, you will be productive. Gradually, if you become consistent in your routine , you will feel confident too .

🎀CARPE DIEM !!

Jia cherishes each moment, she lives in the present. When you live in the present, you will feel better. Jia spents time with her loved ones - family & pets. Spending time with pets reduces the feelings of loneliness & depression. Jia pampers her pets , she is a dog lover !! Also , Jia spends time with herself , she enjoys her own company. She spends time with her hobbies - cooking , playing golf , painting etc. Having hobbies is good for both physical & mental health. It will help you gain confidence too. Spending time with yourself will help you to have a better relationship with yourself.

🧁Playlist

Here are links of Playlist inspired by Song Jia , it will help you boost your self concept & get a vibe like her 💕 playlist 1, playlist 2 , playlist 3

NOTE : I really feel people should forget the scandal since Jia apologized. I often see hate comments on social platforms where they are still making rude comments on her. In her recent interview , she shared how her friends left her & she shares everything with her mom. The scandal was stupid & I feel there are more serious topics to be concerned about than someone wearing fake clothes , and alot of public figures are doing alot of illegal & problematic stuff . If I see any hate comment , I will block the user & delete their comment.

🩰🧸💕🦢🎀I HOPE MY GUIDE HELPED YOU🩰🧸💕🦢🎀

[her-favorite]

AN OATH; J. VALESKA (T-F)

JEROME VALESKA X F!READER (TWO-FACED III)

WARNINGS: typical jerome things - since this is going to be a series, i’m not going to put lengthy ‘warnings’ on all of them (since if you’ve watched the show, then you can the read a book with j’s violence) and remember, if something isn’t necessarily ‘accurate’, it’s just my characterization of him and we technically don’t know what he’d be like in a relationship so

WC: 10,143

A/N: i know you guys have been WAITING for this one 🙏🏻 i’m really hoping i didnt let any of you guys down with how this turned out 😭 also if anyone reads some of these the wrong way, this is not Barbara slander!! she’s my wife and i love her - posting this series on wattpad (jeromes-scars) if anyone wants to check it out on there!!

SERIES MASTERLIST | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 |

SUMMARY: Never expect anything rational with Jerome Valeska. He was a lunatic, a psycho. And yet, something about him captivates you. As you consider your options, you’re left in a crossroads. Time will only tell what your answer will be…

-

Click. Click. Click.

Consistent tapping of card stock against another rang in your ears. The sun blared into the open room violently, harming your eyes. The tapping on the other side of the room hadn’t stopped for what feels like hours, but you were sure it must’ve been at least twenty minutes. Irritated noises sounded from the same corner but you’ve been acting as if you were asleep the entire time, you can’t give up now. Though, you weren’t sure how much time you’d have left before he would wake you up.

The bed underneath you was soft, probably memory foam. You’ve yet to move from your spot ever since you had been told to lay in it last night. You’d be lying if you said that you had gotten any sort of sleep last night. Your thoughts kept you up and the fact you had been sleeping in the same bed, on the same mattress as a murderer wasn’t a very comforting thought to fall asleep to.

Jim was looking for you, you felt it in your heart. He always looked to you as someone to take care of, to protect when you were too vulnerable. He was always there when things would get to be too difficult and Jim would sit there and talk with you any time that you asked. You knew of Jim’s predicament between Barbara and Lee and, though he was never one to talk about his feelings, you somehow managed to make him feel comfortable enough to speak to you about the situation. Jim Gordon was like a father to you, and you his daughter.

That thought alone made you have to suppress tears that had formed behind your eyelids as you could practically hear Jim’s demanding voice yelling at cops at the GCPD to find you and to search the whole city for your whereabouts. You managed to have little hope last night as you stayed up trying to think of a way to escape the maniac that was currently holding you captive, and even with the training from the greatest cop in the city, Jerome was too far ahead. He somehow knew every thought you were going to think and it worried you how much he truly knew about you, if he had done any background searches and had somehow found childhood stories or worse, if he had been stalking you while he waited to make his first appearance.

You mentally sighed as you knew that you weren’t going to be able to pretend to be asleep for much longer without him realizing you’ve been awake the entire time. Blinking your eyes open, still trying to get used to the bright rays shining inside, your body shifts lightly on the bed.

Instantly, the clicking stops.

Your heart sped up just slightly as the room was engulfed in silence so suddenly. You tried to stop the argument that you were having with yourself as you sat up, purposely ignoring the creaks coming from in front of you and looking over at the window as clouds roll in over the sun.

“Sleeping beauty’s awake!” A cheerful voice exclaimed, fully breaking you out of your daze. Though, you should’ve expected it, a small flinch was your reaction. “I’ve been waiting forever for you to wake up.” The man rounds the corner and stands in your line of vision, making you look up at him. “That’s if, you’ve actually been asleep.” The smirk on his face lightens his features as it seems to split across his lips.

“C’mon, doll, we got a busy day ahead of us!” Without any sort of warning, a pale hand reaches out and grabs yours, pulling you up from the bed and into his arms. Your breath hitched in your throat at the impulsive action, your wrists starting to ache at his firm grip on them. “Hi, gorgeous. Fancy seeing you here.” A loud, boisterous laugh sounded from the man, making your ears hurt. If you had your hands free you would’ve put them over your ears to drown out the heinous sound.

Jerome lets go of one of your wrists but keeps a tight hold on your other. “First, we’re gonna go downstairs, have some food, maybe. Then,” he walks back over to a desk that sat in the corner of the room. “Oh, I need these!” His free hand reaches forward and grabs a stack of cards, flicking some through his finger until one flew out onto the desk. “There you are..” His voice was low as a wide smile grew on his face. He stuffs the deck in his pocket as his fingers reach back over to grab the lone card. The one you wished you hadn’t seen.

The Joker Card.

-

You wished you protested more. Maybe, just maybe he would’ve listened. The air was tense in the vast room as Jerome sat beside you, stuffing his face with the breakfast buffet that was presenting itself on the table. You sat still as you tried to ignore the uncomfortable silence and the teasing stare from Barbara Kean that sat across from you. Another woman sat beside her, but you hadn’t been introduced to her yet, and she wasn’t in the line up of the criminals that had ‘broken out’.

“So,” The blonde broke the silence as she rested her chin on her hand, moving forward and leaning her elbow on the table. “What’s this?” She looks between the both of you. Without having to glance over at him, you knew Jerome was still putting handfuls of food in his mouth, the gross sound of him chewing echoed in your ear.

“Wait a second,” Barbara paused as a smirk began to form on her lips. “I know you..” She searches you over and then gasps, putting a hand over her mouth dramatically, “You worked with Jim.” A giggle escaped her mouth as she spoke, “Funny seeing you here, huh?” She leans forward again, resting both of her arms on the table and watching you intently. You knew better than to give her a reaction as you sat still, listening to what she had to say.

“Well? You gonna answer me?” She breaks the heated eye contact first, switching between the both of you. The woman beside her doesn’t seem all that interested in the conversation as she only looks up once or twice before fiddling with the whip in her hands.

“None of your business, blondie.” Jerome finally looked up from his plate of food, almost all of it gone, with a sinister glare on his face. “Want some, gorgeous?” His demeanor changes with a snap of his fingers as he looks over at you, plunging his fork into a pancake, offering it over toward you. Before he could pull it over the table, sticky syrup still hanging off of the snack, you shake your head in response. He shrugs, “More for me.” Those same disgusting sounds resurface.

“C’mon, ginger. Once Theo finds out you brought a cop into this mess,” Barbara leans back in her chair and looks over at the woman next to her, giving her a certain expression.

“He’ll let me deal with you.” The woman finished the blonde’s sentence as the dark haired girl stares forward at the ginger. The whip cracked in her hand making Barbara smile as she glanced over at it.

Nothing in this world could ever make you flinch as bad as that laugh. It’s loud and irritating and painful to listen to as it screams in your ear, reverberating against the walls. It stung as it seemed to replay in your head, quickly forming a headache. With a flat palm against the glass surface of the table, Jerome leans back in his chair and cackles until it sounds like it hurts. He probably likes the pain.

“Oh, wow! Didn’t know,” Another cackle cut himself off, ending in a harsh wheeze. “Didn’t know you had that in ya, Tabby!” He playfully wipes a tear from his eye and rests his other hand on his stomach as if he’s trying to soothe the ache from laughing so hard. “Wasn’t that funny, sugar?” Another sharp laugh sounded from him as he animatedly tries to calm himself down.

You’ve realized, even over the coarse of just a little over an hour, that Jerome hasn’t once called you by your name. Had it been a subconscious thing of his? Does he do it to get on your nerves?

An irritated eye roll was the response from the woman across the table. Her chair screeched as she pushed it away from the table and stood up, her whip ready in her hand. Before she walked away, she turned towards Barbara and asked, “I’m gonna blow off some steam. You comin’?” She must’ve had a certain look in her eye with the way the blonde had agreed. The taller woman took her hand forcefully and pulled her out of the room, not without a small giggle from Kean, as her whip dragged across the floor.

Once the clicking of her heels faded out of the doorway and down the hall, Jerome looked over at you with a wicked smile. Not once have you figured out what his plan was. You were hoping that he’d bring the topic back up again since he hadn’t finished explaining before he brought you downstairs. Something with playing cards.. right?

“You ready for today, toots? It’s gonna be a roller coaster.” He giggles and gets up from his chair, the same loud screeching noise invading the silence again. He held out his hand, politely waiting for you to take it. You knew you should take it, maybe if you played along for a little while, navigate your way through the building, you could find your way out. With that little hope in the back of your head, you accept the offer of his hand and stand up from the chair.

As he pulled you up the stairs towards his room, you’re lost in thought, trying to reclaim every single detail from yesterday. Even with Jerome’s consistent mumbling, you ignore him as your mind goes as far as to recall when you had woken up tied to that chair with Jerome standing above you. He kept teasing you, he had killed Robert Greenwood, and then.. you were blanking. Your memories had vanished once Jerome had stopped walking and snapped his long fingers in front of your face.

“Hellooo? You in there?” With a few scattered blinks, you shake your head lightly to bring yourself back to reality.

“Yeah,” You take a deep breath before finishing, “I’m here.” Though, you wished you hadn’t been.

“Goodie! C’mon, doll, I told you we had a busy day ahead of us!” Jerome grabs your hand and sprints into his room. He sits you down on the edge of the bed and then walks over to an armoire that sat by the wall. Jerome opens the doors and sorts through the clothes, mumbling to himself, “no,” “too tacky,” “hm, maybe.” As he does so, you run your eyes over his stature, only now realizing that he had been wearing a long, red silky robe with blue pajamas underneath. Soft slippers held his feet as they were a little too small for him. Now that you had thought about outfits, you quickly looked down at yours. Your police uniform was gone. In its place was a long sleeved plaid sweater with random black sweatpants.

“You look cute in my clothes, doll face.” You look up when you hear his teasing tone, catching the wink he sent you before he turned back around and picked up a hanger from inside the closet.

Had he changed you? With your mind foggy, you realized that you must’ve fell asleep at some point. The headache from before came back full force as you tried to recall everything that had happened in that past 24 hours. You didn’t know why you couldn’t remember everything clearly, why you were so caught up in yourself. You rub your eyes as if it’ll help you remember everything.

“What is my doll gonna wear today.. hm,” he puts his finger on his chin as he thinks. You quickly try to think of something to intrigue him, truly not wanting him to pick your outfit. Who knew what was going through that maniacs head.

“Why am I here, Jerome? I mean, why am I still here?” You get up from the bed slowly, almost like you were trying to not scare away a cat. “You could’ve killed me back at the GCPD, but you didn’t. Why do you want me here?” You take a step forward, still wary of him. You were unsure of what the man was truly capable of and you were completely against seeing what he was.

The ginger tried to show no reaction as he stared off, but you noticed the way his breath seemed to hitch in his throat and the barely there picked up pace of his chest moving up and down. Mentally debating if you should keep talking, you gave him a second to adjust to the sudden question. His true origins were still yet to reveal to you. He obviously despised his mother, killing her on a hill and laughing about it. From the threats surrounding his supposed brother, he didn’t seem a fan of him either. You had yet to know what his childhood and his life was actually like. You wondered if he would ever tell you.

“Barbara might have some clothes in her room. Go look.” Jerome’s voice was heavy as he talked and he turned around, avoiding your gaze. He walked past you as he made his way back to his desk.

Rifling with objects inside a drawer, he waits for you to follow his orders. “I said go look.” You took note of the way his jaw clenched tightly and the how he tries to distract himself instead of thinking about your questions. “Go fucking look!” Jerome exclaims, motioning to the door. Even though you were used to the yelling that went around the precinct, the way Jerome had done it sent a chill down your spine. It was malicious and frankly, it was frightening.

Maybe you could find a way out if you were to try and find Jim’s former lover’s room. Without so much as a nod, you walk away and out of the door frame. The rustling seemed to stop but the clicking of the cards began again. Your hand glided across the smooth wall as you wandered down the deserted hallway. A long window was placed at the end of it, giving you a view of the city. Once you reached it, you took a moment to let your eyes search as much as you could.

The recording. It came back to you.

Jerome had been videoing himself after he shot Greenwood yesterday, before he took you here. His face was bloody from your collision and the residue from shooting the other man. When Jerome was finished speaking to the camera lens, he switched it over to you. You hadn’t spoke, but nodded to one of the ginger’s questions. Jim will know, you remember thinking that.

Jim knew about your conversation in the interrogation room that day. And though he was upset to hear about you kissing Jerome, there wasn’t anything either of you could’ve done about it then. Jim was probably scouring the city looking for you right now. The thought brought a sad smile to your face as you realized how much you missed being out in the daylight.

Without trying to dwell on it for much longer, you turn down into a random doorway, hoping that it would be one of the women’s rooms. Your eyes search the area, focusing on an identical wardrobe that was also in Jerome’s room. Hesitant at first, aware that there could be anything in this room, or anyone, that could pop out at you and risk your safety. After a few steps, you quicken your pace and make your way closer to the armoire.

The creak that sounded from the doors made you cringe, the awful noise echoing in your ears. As you search through the clothes, you pick the first thing that caught your eye, something simple. What was Jerome’s plan? Was he going to take you outside and teasingly flaunt you to the GCPD just for his amusement? Maybe then you could make a run for it, threaten him somehow.

All sorts of strategies and ideas combat in your mind as you reach in and pick out an outfit that seemed comfortable enough, and hopefully good for the weather, that is if he decides to be kind and let you get fresh air. You turn around with the fabric in your hands and wandered a bit in search for a bathroom to change in. A small connected room was in the same bedroom, flicking the light on and watching the room illuminate. As you close the door behind you, you finally, for the first time in twenty four hours, feel alone. Resting your head back against it, you breathe evenly, clutching the clothes tightly in your hands.

Once you grew comfortable with the silence, you get up and look into the mirror. With an empty mind, your hand reached up to your neck, ghosting your fingertips over the faint bruise that was starting to form. As you subconsciously swallowed, you noticed how sore your throat felt inside. You were embarrassed as you remembered what you let him do to you and the way you gave in so easily.

Trying not to let those thoughts plague you, you start to peel off the clothing that the man had put on you. You took your time replacing each fabric, at the same time trying to think of escape routes and what Jerome could possibly have planned for today.

Finally, as you straighten out your shirt, you jump when you suddenly hear a harsh knock on the door beside you. “Almost done, doll? We’re on a tight schedule today!” His loud, cheerful voice boomed through the door, invading the silence that once lingered.

Taking a deep breath, you try to compose yourself. While you were changing, you were thinking about ways to go along with his madness. Maybe if you pretend that he convinced you to turn over a new leaf and follow his actions, he’ll believe you and put his trust in you. If you try and act as if you don’t follow the GCPD anymore, maybe you’ll get lucky?

As you turn the doorknob, Jerome stands outside with a smile on his face. “Finally! Thought you died in there.” He laughs dramatically and you have to stop yourself from grimacing at the loud sound. “C’mon little miss detective, we got some work to do!” Never mind.

He grabs your hand and drags you of the bathroom and down the hall. He didn’t seem agitated anymore, acting as if his small outburst didn’t happen. That might be a good thing for you, to not let him dwell on it. The last thing you needed is to have Jerome angry at you. Even at the time, you knew that asking that question wasn’t a good idea, even if you truly do want to know the answer. With the mans sociopathic tendencies, no one knew what he was capable of, what he could truly do to you. And though you do have police training and you were sure that if Jerome were to try and fight you, you could counteract him, but with his impulsive decisions it’s difficult to know his next move, you were almost sure that he never did either.

As he pulled you along, you tried to think of any possible place he’s going to take you to. Checking off as many locations as you could, the last place you expected was the exact one he went to. You shouldn’t be surprised with him anymore.

-

The room was quiet as you waited.

When you arrived at the apartment complex and had followed Jerome up the stairs to a certain room he was looking for, you felt your breath hitch at the sight of the name on the door: Paul Cicero. You should’ve known he would come for his father.

Jerome opened the door and let you walk in first, a teasing smile on his face the entire time. You roamed around the room as you hear the door click shut behind you. No sign of any pictures relating to Jerome or his brother resided anywhere. Your fingers ghosted over the wooden counter as your eyes look over the arrangement of spices and utensils.

“Listen to me, baby,” Jerome’s voice cuts you out of your thoughts and when you look up to see where he was, you were surprised to see him just inches away from you. “When you hear that door open, I want you to go silent.” He orders, his eyes never daring to look away from yours. “This is gonna be fun.” He smiles devilishly and grabs your hand again, leading you over towards the other side of the room.

Only a few minutes pass until the door creaks and opens wide. Taps of shoes hit against the floor as the older man walks in, his cane swaying beside him. Not too long after he shuts the door, he freezes and calls out, “who’s there?” Jerome stays hidden, but the smile gave away his feelings. “I know someone’s there-“ You backed away suddenly when Jerome moved forward and wrapped a rope around his father’s neck. You tried to reach forward, your instincts coming to play, and help him, but with Jerome’s free hand, he tightly grabs your hip and pulls you behind him, limiting your reach.

“Hiya, pops. Long time.. no see.” A sinister laugh left Jerome’s mouth as he finished his sentence, tightening his grip as his one hand held either end of the rope. It reverberated in your mind until you realized that Jerome had tied his father to a chair with a cloth over his mouth.

“So, how you doin’?” Jerome rasps as he sits in a chair across from his father. You stood by the counter, a few feet away from them. It felt terrible to watch, all of it was against your moral code and especially with the oath you took to being a cop, watching this and not doing anything to stop it or to help the injured man was wrong. But that one thought in the back of your head that was trying to convince you that Jerome wasn’t going to hurt him, he was his father for fucks sake. And then you remember how you got into this mess.

“The silent treatment, huh? Hey, I’ll tell ya a story.” Jerome continues, having a one sided conversation with the man across from him. “You remember Kansas city, dad. The circus went through town every spring, right around my birthday.” His voice grows deeper as he talks, his emotions revealing themselves.

“There was this guy. Him and my mom used to drink and.. fornicate and beat the crap out of me. They’d make a whole night out of it. And I remember one time,” He put his hands out and started to get up from his chair slowly, keeping eye contact with Mr. Cicero.

“It was my ninth birthday, him and my mom had just finished round one of boozing, boning, beating up Jerome and decided to take a little break.” Jerome explains it in a way so casual, showing that he had grown accustomed to the abuse from his mother. “Anyway,” He turns and leans toward the table in front of you, picking up a knife and inspecting it as he talks.

“I was outside the trailer and you were there. And you said, “why are you crying, Jerome?”” He pauses and acts as if he’s going to cry. “It’s my birthday.. and my mom and the snake guy are beating me.” He made his voice higher, impersonating his younger self.

“And then you said, “this world doesn’t care about you or anyone else, Jerome. Better to realize that now.”” With his voice deeper and raspier pretending to be his father, the tone sent chills down your spine. Jerome pauses before continuing, “And that was it.” He looks over at his dad with a large smile.

“You see, there’s this guy, dad, he believes in me, he thinks I’m gonna be a star!” Jerome exclaims and rushed over to the man tied to the chair, pointing the knife at him dangerously. “And tonight.. all of Gotham will see that, too. Expect for you because you’ll be, well, ya know, dead.” Had it been in any other situation, you would’ve laughed. But you were about to witness a murder before your eyes.

Jerome reaches behind Paul and undoes the cloth that was knotted behind his head. Mr. Cicero began to plead with his son, but Jerome quickly shut it down, his anger coming to the surface. You watch them converse, or rather argue, about something, but Jerome’s words linger in the back of your head. He was abused? How come that was never in his file? How had that not been revealed to you?

An hysteric laugh cut you out of your thoughts. “That’s not why I’m gonna kill you!” Jerome smiles widely and turns back around, facing the table. With the knife still in one hand, he reaches the other forward and holds up blueprints. “Plans to Arkham Asylum,” he lets it fall from his hold, showing it to his father. Picking up something else, he turns around and shows him again, “And look at these, oh,” he walks over to Mr. Cicero and brushes the material against his cheek. “Letters between you and your troubled son. Innocent at first glance, but Detective Gordon, you remember him, right? You’ll feel little bumps.. a secret message, written in braille between you and your son discussing my escape!” He throws the envelopes and extends his arms out, regaining his energy and smiling happily.

Jerome makes his way back to the table and grabs a can off of it. “Finally, the knockout gas, used to disable the orderlies!” He moves it around before setting it back down. Walking back over to his father be speaks, “Cause you see, dad,” Jerome picks up the chair he was sitting in before. “This guy I was telling you about,” he places the chair down in front of Paul. “He’s the one who broke me out of Arkham. He doesn’t want anyone to know about that.” Jerome sits down on the backwards chair, not before looking back at you with a wink after he finished talking. Your jaw clenches as you let his words soak in.

“The police will find these letters and they’ll think, “the blind old fool really loved his son, what a wonderful father. Oh, there won’t be a dry eye in the house.”” Jerome takes his dads tie and lightly dabs his cheeks, pretending to wipe away tears.

“They’ll never believe it.” Mr. Cicero denies.

“Oh, sure they will,” Jerome shrugs nonchalantly. “Cops are dumb.” He pauses before straightening out in his chair and looking back at you. “Besides you, gorgeous.” He smiles in a charming manner and sends you another teasing wink, finding it amusing in the way you react.

“Oh, would’ja look at that?” He giggles at his joke and gestures towards the clock. “We gotta go, doll!” He gets up from his chair and moves it out of the way. “Sorry you’re gonna miss my big night, dad. Hey, you’re psychic. So tell me.. do I kill?”

Mr. Cicero inhales sharply and a vicious look overtakes his features as he responds, “You will be a curse upon Gotham. Children will wake from sleep screaming at the thought of you. Your legacy will be death and madness.”

Jerome smiles wickedly and leans down to the side of his fathers face. With a menacing whisper that sends chills down your spine, you hear,

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Moving away and grabbing Paul tightly, Jerome wraps up the meeting. “Welp, say hi to mom for me.” Before you could try to stop him as you rush over, Jerome lifts his arm and throws it down to connect his blade with his fathers eye.

Knock. Knock.

Jerome freezes, as do you. The ginger places a hand over Paul’s mouth to silence any pleas.

“GCPD.” Jim. That was Jim. You could go out there now and tell him that you were okay, that you didn’t need him to worry anymore. But something inside you prevented that. You didn’t know what it was and it made you feel sick. In that moment, the thought of staying with Jerome was an actual option. It made you feel nauseous.

Another knock sounded from behind the door. “GCPD. Mr. Cicero, it’s Detective Gordon. We need to speak with you about your son.” You look back over at Jerome, noticing that he was already watching you. He had a hard stare on his face as he notices the way you hesitate. Taking a deep breath, you nod your head slowly, telling him that you weren’t going to leave. The furrow in his eyebrows undoes itself and a wide smile grows on his face.

“Mr. Cicero?” At that exact moment, Jerome quickly plunges the blade through his fathers eye as Paul cries out in agony. With a quiet giggle from the ginger, he rushes away and grips your hand, pulling you out of the open window. Before he steps foot outside the frame, he digs his fingers into his pocket and pulls out a card. Tossing it to the floor as it lands over by his father, the figure on the card stock standing out.

The Joker.

It was perfect timing for Jerome as he turns the corner, watching Jim pull Harvey out of the room, the blue knockout gas floating out of the doorway. Collapsing to the floor, Jim leans against the wall, trying to catch his breath. As Jerome starts to whistle, he walks down the hallway toward the two. You watch with an anxious heart, your feet feeling like they were planted to the floor and your mouth sewed shut.

“Detective Gordon, old pal.” Jerome speaks, crouching down beside the cop. “That gas sure packs a-“ Jerome sighs as he stops Jim from trying to hit him. He takes the gun from the detective as Jim loses his balance and falls against him. “That’s cute.” Jerome mocks, but was quickly cut off when Jim mustered up enough strength and pushed him up against the wall.

With Jim’s hand around Jerome’s neck, he rasps playfully, “I’m sensing.. anger.”

“You killed Sarah Essen.” Jim says with a heavy tone. Jerome killed your boss? Was it before you had woken up? How did he never tell you? Jerome smiles at the truth, nodding his head as much as he could.

“Now I’m gonna kill you.” You should stop this. Stop this fight, one of them may die, Jerome still has the gun. As soon as you move forward a step or two, Jerome lifts up his arm to press the barrel of the gun against Jim’s head.

“Jerome!” You shout instinctively. So many people have died already, the last person you wanted to see shot was Jim Gordon. He was all you had left.

Jerome’s head shot over to look at you, caught off guard by your shout. Jim followed at the sound of your voice, his face softening as he realized that you were okay. Before he could do anything, Jerome hit him on the side of the head with the gun, knocking him unconscious. Before he fell into a sleep, you just barely heard him whisper, “Y/N.” You felt a piece of your heart shatter for the first time in a while.

“Ugh, c’mon, doll!” Jerome groans and stands up, brushing off his knees. “Never let me have any fun.” He pouts dramatically, looking over at you with his own version of puppy eyes. You didn’t know what reaction he was expecting of you as you stood there, taking glances over at the two men that you cared for knocked out on the floor before you.

“This is just the beginning, baby. Soon, I’ll be the King of Gotham with you beside me as my Queen.” Jerome smiles with genuine happiness, walking over to you. You couldn’t completely tell yet, but you were almost one hundred percent sure that Jerome had placed his trust in you, something that would clearly be difficult for someone like him, and you truly didn’t know why he chose you… and you truly didn’t know why you started to reciprocate it.

“You’ll see, doll. Everyone will see.”

-

Once you both made it back to Theo Galavan’s house, he brought you back to his room almost like it was a reflex. “Busy day, doll, busy day.” Jerome would mutter or occasionally sing. He had his hand in yours, swinging it back forth slightly, whether it was a subconscious thing or not.

It was obvious how much Jerome craved the physical contact, as you wouldn’t be able to recall the amount of times he’s held your hand today. His palms were slightly rough, you were sure it was because of his days at the circus, working day and night, traveling to so many places. You noticed that freckles had littered his arms and lead up to his hand, scattered on his pale skin. The orange hair that rested on his arm was barely visible, his adorning marks seeming to take the spotlight.

Taking you by surprise, Jerome stops abruptly and pulls you close to him. His left hand never leaves yours as his opposite takes hold of your hip. With a sharp intake of air, you look up at him, trying to figure out what he was going to do.

The hand that was holding yours moved it up in a position that looked like you were about to dance. You were proved right when Jerome took a step forward, placing your other hand on his shoulder and moving with you. It wasn’t an award worthy performance, but Jerome seemed to have fun.

“Was thinking about what you said earlier, beautiful.” He breaks the silence and looks down at you, stepping back as you followed. “And since I plan to make you my Queen,” he trails off and shrugs, “I guess you’d want an explanation as to why you’re here.” His hand tightens ever so slightly in yours. “I see something within you, doll.. that same glint that was in my eyes when I planned to murder Lila.” He spits out the last word with malice, showing that even just saying her name rose anger inside him.

You opened your mouth to protest his statement, but he makes sure to speak first. “Ah, ah, let me finish.” He sways his body lightly, still moving in step with you. “We can rule this city, just you and me. Everyone will be under our control.” Jerome smiles widely, showing his teeth. “You know you want it, baby, don’t try and deny it.” He twirls you and then quickly pulls you back toward him, into his chest.

“Jerome,” your mind went blank as you tried to think of how to refuse his words. Everything felt constricting, like just this little time of you dancing with him was narrowing down your chances for a future. You’re a cop, that’s what you were always going to be. You couldn’t hand over your life over to this maniac as he tries to convince you while he serenades you. If you agreed to this, your life would be over. What would happen when Jerome would get on someone’s bad side and they decided they needed him gone? What would be the point continuing this madness if the reason you started wasn’t there anymore? Once you realized that you began to consider it, you berated and cursed yourself for even taking the second to even think of it as a decision. Besides, how could you leave Jim? He taught you everything about being a good cop, he was there every step of the way. How could you abandon him now?

“Shh, doll, I can hear your thoughts from here.” Jerome keeps swaying, leaning forward and whispering in your ear. His voice snaps you out of your options, blinking at the sudden intrusion. His hand leaves your hip and rests on the back of your head, pushing on it gently to lean it against his chest. “Just imagine it, sugar. We’ll run this city and make it better- or, well, worse. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want without any consequences because we’ll be the ones making the rules.” Jerome doesn’t stop moving once, the actions seeming to spur him on more. He was never one to slow down.

“All you have to do is say yes.” He whispers.

All you have to do is say yes.

-

The room was buzzing with chatter, the area filled with people. Women and men were dressed in their finest attire as they conversed with each other, some laughing and others smiling.

You stood in a long dress, looking around the vast room. You were told to blend in with the others in the room as you were given the clothes to wear to match. A mask was placed over your eyes, it looked similar to one you’d see at a masquerade ball. It was the same color as your dress, a dull, dark blue. Jerome didn’t want it vibrant, he had hinted to you that he had some sort of plan in mind for you, but he never told you what it was or when he was going to put it into action.

Before you both had left to make your way over to the event, Jerome had stopped you before you could walk away. He took your hip in one hand and held your neck, not in a hostile way, he just wanted to feel your skin under his hand. His eye contact with you never failed to make goosebumps form on your skin. When he broke the silence between you both, he said, “Think about what I said.” He whispered before continuing, “We will be worshiped. Just give in to me.” Jerome smiles that crazed grin at you and then walks away.

For the half an hour you’ve been standing here, you’ve reviewed your options millions of times. It made you feel sick that you actually considered the life that Jerome could give you. Even if he didn’t say it, he did care for you. And you were sure that wasn’t an easy thing to admit, especially with a personality like his.

If you go with Jerome, so many things could backfire. What if he was leading you on and decided to throw you away once he persuaded you to agree? What if you die a villain in your story? You became a cop because you wanted to help others, not hurt them. All of the things Jerome stands for are the exact thing you don’t. He thinks it’s entertaining to watch people die, to kill them with no remorse. He thinks there aren’t any consequences for some of the things he does and you’d be lying if you said that there wasn’t a little spark of worry inside you that, that could be the reason he might die some day.

But if you went with your gut and stayed true to yourself.. you weren’t sure where it could lead you. Would you still be offered your same job? What happens when they find out you hadn’t tried to escape from the lunatic and they fire you without any notice? There’s zero possibility that you’d be able to make it anywhere else in this city. Worst of all, Jim may never speak to you again. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to live with that.

As you stood in the back, you observed the room. The stage was empty of people, the tables and chairs occupied by wealthy couples, and.. Bruce Wayne? Your shoulders dropped as well as your heart.

“First, I’m gonna kill Bruce Wayne..” Jerome’s words from last night had rang in your head like a chime. Your breathing altered slightly, your chest moving up and down faster. Against your better judgment, you began taking quiet, smooth steps over to the boy. He stood next to an older man as they looked forward at the stage. As soon as you became just a few feet away from the billionaire boy, a voice echoed through the room.

“Good evening. I’m Dr. Lee Tompkins.” Your head immediately looked over at the stage. You knew her.. the Medical Examiner, Jim’s girlfriend. Your mind tries to figure out how Jerome ties into this, until you hear, “Over the years, we had magicians come in and entertain our children. So, tonight, we have one of the magicians here for you. Without further ado, please allow me to present to you.. The Great Rudolpho.” Lee smiles and the stage light travels over to a box with a woman in a pink tutu and mask, similar to yours, standing in front of it.

As she opens the box, she feigns surprise once she notices it was empty. When she closes it and stalls for a second, she opens the box again, a man inside it now. He yawns and then gasps once he realizes everyone can see him. The crowd laughs at the man’s actions and claps.

If it were possible, you felt your heart sink even lower than it already was. Jerome had a handsome suit on with a fake beard and mustache, a big hat and an eye mask on his face.

“Greetings, ladies and germs! I am, indeed, the Great Rudolpho!” His accent was strange, it felt wrong in your ears compared to his normal voice. He bows, as well as the woman. Your gaze follows the woman as you look her up and down, trying to shake the familiarity that she has. Your head moved to look at the floor and your eyes fell shut as you realized.. Barbara Kean.

When you look back up, a bird flies through the crowd. A red cloth was in Jerome’s hand, signaling to you that he was the one that did it.

“For my first act, I’ll require a volunteer!” His voice rang out into the crowd through the microphone. “Let me see,” he looks away from everyone and points his finger as he says, “Duck, duck, duck.. duck, duck, duck.. goose.” He points forward, just a few feet away from you. His gaze returns as he stares towards where his finger was pointed. You quickly look to your left as you see Bruce Wayne’s perplexed expression. The man had whispered something to the boy as the assistant, Barbara made her way toward him and offered out her hand for him to take.

You couldn’t let Jerome kill him, let alone on a stage in front of a crowd of people. You needed to stop this, to reach out and pull him away from Barbara so he couldn’t take her hand, because that act itself might cost him his life.

Hesitantly, Bruce accepted her hand, following her as she walked away. You walked forward impulsively, about to reach out to try and grab one of them, but before you could, Barbara turned around and sent you a wink from under her mask. It made you freeze since you weren’t expecting it, and once you broke out of it, you realized that the two were already on stage.

“Hello, young man.” Jerome was standing beside a box that was lying down on a table. Your eyes widened when you saw what it truly was and you suddenly felt nauseous. Your mouth opened just slightly, but it was enough to catch the man’s attention. As Jerome grabbed the large blades, he gave you a slow, small nod, the same kind that you did to him when Jim was knocking on Mr. Cicero’s door.

“Well, Bruce, this won’t hurt a bit.” Jerome clashes the metal together, a loud, reverberating sound that stung your ears. “Is there a doctor in the house?” The crowd laughs at his words, but your head turns once you hear the older man beside you begin to protest, obviously nervous for the boy’s safety. Without any hesitation, Jerome slides the blades through the box, making you flinch. They pull the box apart, showing you - and the man - that Bruce was okay. You let out a sigh of relief involuntarily, matching with the man beside you.

Barbara took Bruce back to his guardian and then stayed put, waiting for Jerome to keep talking. “Now, for this other trick, we’re gonna need a new volunteer!” He shouts, a smile on his face. He pretends to look around before stopping and gasping. “Well, look at that! What’s a gorgeous girl like you doing in a place like this?” Barbara walks a few steps before holding out her hand with a smirk. You try to hide your reaction, but your eyes widen slightly. Is this what he was planning?

Knowing no better way to get out of this, you take her hand. The room watched you two closely and you felt the eyes from Bruce Wayne and his butler watching.

Barbara smiles and begins walking back over to the stage, taking you with her. Both of your heels clicked on the floor, filling the silent room. She let you walk up the stairs first before following after you. You hesitantly make your way towards Jerome, the smile bright as ever on his face. The beard and mask did wonders to hide his identity as you grow closer.

“Who do we have under that mask?” His accent was louder as you neared him. Was this apart of his act? Some sort of trick that he’d ‘guess’ who you were and stun the others?

Jerome circles you once before standing back in front of you, that infamous grin on his face never wavering. He lifts his hand and places it on your chin, turning your head every which way, the exaggerated action producing laughs from the crowd. He hums and takes his hand away, playfully stroking his beard. A quiet, barely audible gasp was heard from the crowd, but you knew that the only people that could hear it was you and Jerome. His smirk widens as the small noise brushes by his ears.

As quick as you could, your eyes dart out to the people, trying to figure out who it was. Your eyes caught the two in the back, Lee now gone from behind them (did Jerome have something to do with that or was she just grabbing a water?), and Bruce’s mouth agape. He mumbled something to the older man as he looks your way, seeming to have recognized who you were, even from behind the mask. The video Jerome made must’ve been aired on the news that night, that’s the only possible way he’d know.

“I think I know ya from somewhere! Yeah.. I think I saw ya on the TV at some point.” Jerome taps his chin as he looks off, pretending to think. “Well, gorgeous,” he walks closer and grabs your hand gently, raising it to his lips and says, “Why don’t’cha stay up here for a while, huh?” He kisses your hand and looks back over at the crowd, shouting out, “Who agrees?” Cheers and hollers are heard from the crowd as Jerome lifts up your arm slightly, showing you off. You feel goosebumps raise on your skin at the attention, deciding to avert your gaze to the man beside you. “You’re gonna love what’s to come, doll face.” Jerome whispers teasingly and leads you toward Barbara, before walking away and asking for the Deputy Mayor to come up to the stage.

You watch carefully as he ghostly trails his fingers over the various knives. You knew what was going to happen, and yet you felt hopeless to stop it.

Finally, when Jerome picks one up, he looks up and smiles devilishly. “By the way, nobody here.. is getting out alive.” The crowd gasps and shouts as Jerome throws the knife, lunging the blade into the mans chest. A chill went down your spine as you watch Jerome shrug and the Deputy Mayor fall to the floor.

Catching you off guard (though, with Jerome, you really shouldn’t be anymore), loud gunshots echo throughout the room. Lights fall and break as people scream and try to flee, only to fail. As you expected, Jerome laughs loudly, tearing off the disguise.

“Finally! This thing is itchy.” He grumbles and scratches his chin and cheeks, light red marks forming, only to disappear a few seconds after. He turns and looks over at you as chaos is still being created. With a sinister grin, he walks over to you and forcefully grabs your hips. “Been waiting to get my hands on ya. Miss the way you feel against me.” He whispers hotly in your ear, making goosebumps form on your skin. He giggles as he finishes speaking, leaning down and leaving a kiss on your neck before moving back to the center stage.

When Jerome lets you go, a change in the corner of your eye made you look over. A gasp left your mouth as you watched Lee be tied up to a wheel. As she fights back, her eyes search the room until they land on you. With the mask still on your face, you didn’t know if she could tell who you were or not. But you were sure that your concerned expression was all she needed to know.

Breaking you out of your daze, Jerome’s voice invaded your ears again. “Sorry, Jimbo, it’s just little ol’ me!” Your eyes widened at the name. He’s talking to Jim? Ignoring your racing heart, you felt a part of it calm down to know that he was okay.

“Are you outside? Oh, you are, aren’t you?” Jerome talks animatedly to the phone that was pressed up to his ear. You only just noticed that he was directly in front of a camera, quickly moving away from him. “Goodie!” He giggles.

There were mumbles from the receiver, but you heard Jim’s voice clearly as he spoke, “I swear to god, if you’ve hurt her,” but the detective didn’t get to finish his sentence as Jerome cut him off.

“Which one?” He smiles and laughs. “See for yourself! This is live television after all!” He turns and walks towards you. “Oh, whoops! Get this thing off your face, doll.” His fingers curl under your mask as he takes it off and throws it haphazardly. His arm wraps around your waist as he brings you close to him. The camera pans over to Barbara as she pretends to shoot Lee.

You hear a faint, “Y/N?” from the other side of the call.

“Huh? You mean my girl right here?” Jerome mocks confusion as he looks over at you, squeezing your hip. “You know her?” He laughs at his own joke, the loud cackle reverberating off the walls.

“You son of a bitch.” Jim’s words were laced with malice as he talked.

“True, but.. not the point.” Jerome shakes his head. He lets you go, not before pressing a kiss to your forehead, for himself and to make Jim more upset, and walks back over to the camera lens. “Lets talk about what I want!” He pauses before listing off, “$47 million dollars, a helicopter, obviously, the dry cleaning I left at Mr. Chang’s, be careful, that man is a crook! And oh, I don’t know.. a pony!” He smiles widely as he knows Jim was getting more agitated as time went by. “You got 10 minutes before I start killing people and, remember, this is being broadcasted to every home in Gotham, so.. ya know, don’t let people die. Bye!” He laughs hysterically into the phone, suddenly coming to a stop as he hangs up the phone. He turns and says, “I think that went well.”

“Enough!” The random voice caught your ears immediately, your eyes scouring the crowd to find where it came from. “You need to pack up your pathetic little side show and leave.” Galavan.

Jerome turns back to the front and smiles, “Is that right?”

Theo walks towards the stage as he speaks, “It may presumptuous to speak for all the citizens of Gotham, but we are sick of you! You’re a small, vicious man with a pathetic need for attention.” Jerome’s smile never falters as he bows proudly. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at his words, obviously rehearsed and acted out beforehand. What was his plan? Had Jerome been rehearsing this part with him as well and you didn’t know? “Enough, man, enough.”

“I’m curious what you’re leverage is here. Mr…?” Jerome trails off, walking towards the man.

He turns towards the camera and artificially says, “Theo Galavan.” More of his plan seems to reveal itself to you as seconds went by.

“Well, Mr. Theo Galavan, if you don’t sit down,” Jerome moves back some of Galavan’s hair playfully. “I’m going to shoot you.. in the face!” He smiles widely and started to walk away again, towards the crowd.

“I know there is some human decency left in you,” Jerome teasingly points to himself, as if challenging Theo’s words. “If you need to take a hostage, take me. But let these people go home, to their families, to their children,” before he could finish, Barbara came over and hit his head with a hammer.

She sighs, “boring.”

“Right?” Jerome agrees and walks back towards you. Barbara makes her way back to Lee as she argues with her.

“Isn’t this fun, gorgeous?” He smiles widely and grabs your hand, unexpectedly twirling you. He lets you unroll all the way until his fingers straighten out, and then tugs you back into his grasp. You land on his chest as his opposite hand takes home on your hip. “Your heart racing, the adrenaline rush, the feeling of your body on fire, oh! It’s exhilarating.” He laughs and steps in line with you as he repeats his action from earlier, placing your hand on his shoulder as he holds your other palm.

“When you come with me, this is all gonna be ours. Everything, everyone will be under our control, our thumbs.” Jerome’s eyes convey the excitement and the anticipation that he felt in that moment. The way he describes it, the once in a lifetime offer, a promise for an unpredictable and chaotic future that Jerome so desperately craved. And he had picked you to spend it with.

He stepped forward and around as he held you, not caring about the numerous eyes that watched you both, or he just didn’t notice, too caught up with you. His grip tightened quickly as the hand on your hip traveled down to your thigh, suddenly dipping you back. “Promise me somethin’, doll.” He leans down and whispers in your ear, “Never forget me.” He brings you back up in a standing position with a bright smile on his face. His hand travels up in a fast motion, circling around your neck, resting his palm against the skin like he had done earlier. Your breath hitches as he leans down and presses his lips against yours, his fingers ever so slightly digging into your skin. “Show time, toots.” He whispers against your lips with a smile.

Jerome walks back towards the middle of the stage, grabbing the microphone harshly. “Well, I think it’s time for tonights first official victim! You all know and love, poor rich boy, parents murdered in an alley, and my second favorite volunteer.” He smiles teasingly and looks back at you with a wink. “Where is.. Bruce Wayne!” He calls out to the silent room, waiting. He talks into the mic in a softer tone, trying to appeal to the boy to come out of hiding, “Did you know I’m an orphan, too, Bruce? I killed my parents, though. Where are you hiding?” His eyes search the area, before yelling into the mic, “Bruce!”

“Kill his butler.” Barbara suggests, her hands on her hips. She had an angry look on her face, probably from the conversation she had with Lee.

“All right, last chance, Bruce. But it’s about to get very butler brainy out here.” Jerome grumbles and motions toward the older man in the crowd. You watch the situation unfold, unsure of what to do. With the amount of time that had passed, you were positive Jim had made it inside the building. Maybe he had Bruce? You hoped that was the case.

“Eh, I’m bored. Shoot the butler!” Jerome sighs and says in a defeated tone. He was losing his patience and it was obvious.

“Stop!” A yell sounded from the curtain as Bruce sprinted toward his guardian. The man had begun to scold him, before Bruce had whispered something to him. Jerome quickly ran from the stage and forcefully held Bruce, a knife to his throat.

He backed up towards the stage as he smiles. “Let’s get this started, huh?” Jerome giggles and keeps the knife steady against the boys neck.

A gunshot echoed from one side of the building, Jim Gordon making his way through the red curtain. You felt relief wash over you as you saw him, but there was something else you felt in that moment.. something you couldn’t place yet.

“I don’t have a clean shot.” Jim aimed the gun at the murderer, staying as still as possible.

“Stay calm, Bruce.” The older man had told the younger boy, trying to keep the boy’s attention on him.

“Seems like we’ve got ourselves a pickle! What do ya say, Brucey-boy, wanna boost our ratings?” Jerome laughs crazily and presses the blade against the boys pale skin, starting to draw blood. “Smile!”

As you started to rush over to the pair, you were too distracted for the boys safety to realize someone had woken up. With a loud voice, Galavan yelled, “I said enough!”

Jerome begrudgingly let go of Bruce as the boy ran straight off the stage and to his guardian. He turned and faced Theo, only to be met with a blade to his neck. You stood paralyzed as you watched the scene, your mouth agape and goosebumps raised on your skin.

“I know, I know, this is not what we rehearsed.” Theo whispers to Jerome, sinking down to the floor. “I’m so sorry, Jerome. You have real talent, but now you see, the plot thickens, enter the hero.”

Jerome begins to speak, his mouth and teeth covered in blood. “You.. said..” he tries to take in a breath, but it backfires. “That I was gonna be…” Jerome’s words cut themselves short as his eyes dilate tenfold, that sinister smile permanent on his face. Before he lost the battle between living, his iris flash over to you, taking in one last look before becoming lifeless.

What about the future he wanted? The promise he made to you? He was going to be the King of Gotham with you by his side as the Queen. None of it was an option now. None of it made sense without the man that started it all, that had swore to give you what he convinced you that you wanted. What was the point now?

One of the last things he had said to you replayed in your mind like a broken record, “Promise me somethin’, doll. Never forget me.”

You wouldn’t be able to, even if you tried.

[mirisss]

Enhypen poly reaction to "The new Kard"

Pairing: Enhypen OT6 (not including Niki because he’s a minor) x idol! (Y/n)

Wordcount ≈ 600

Warning: Kard’s song Cake is referenced (quite a sexual song & choreo), some sexual innuendo, mdni, nothing explicit,  

Summary: In a world where the Kard we know today doesn’t exist, instead a new Kard is created. “The new Kard” = (Y/n) - 02 liner dating Enhypen, Keeho (P1harmony), Ricky (ZB1), & Yunjin (Lesserafim). So how will Enhypen react to their beloved girlfriend’s debut? 

Authors note: Thank you for the request! This was such a fun idea, I’m not an expert when it comes to Kard but I listen to their music every now and then. It’s sort of short but it’s mostly because it’s a reaction fic. Not my best work, but I hope you still enjoy it. 

Request by 🍮 - anon

Please reblog! 

Third person POV

(Y/n) participated in I-Land with the Enhypen boys where they all fell in love and entered a poly relationship, though unfortunately, (Y/n) did not debut with the boys. Instead (Y/n) had to wait another 2 years until she got to debut, her debut group was one-of-a-kind as it was a four-member co-ed group consisting of Yoon Keeho, Huh Yunjin, (L/n) (Y/n), and Shěn Ricky. 

Enhypen was waiting for the MV for (Y/n)’s debut song to drop. They couldn't wait to see the choreo or hear the song as (Y/n) had told them, they would be very surprised. The members were counting down the seconds to see the MV, just the same as a lot of pre-debut fans were. Enhypen had gotten permission from HYBE to stream their reaction to the MV as it was well known that Enhypen and The New Kard were good friends, the relationship between Enhypen and (Y/n) hadn’t been released yet but the fans knew the two groups were good friends. 

“3, 2, 1! It’s out!!! LET’S GO!!!” Jake screamed as the other five boys laughed. Jake clicked on the now-posted MV for “Cake” by The New Kard, they were very intrigued by the name ‘Cake’. (For reference here, check out Cake by Kard). Throughout the entire MV, the Enhypen boys kept shouting “OH! WAH! Holy!” And things alike it. The fans watching the stream were freaking out over Enhypen’s reactions as the boys seemed to be speechless but also a little turned on by the way they were blushing and watching one of the Kard members. The fans couldn’t tell if it was Yunjin or (Y/n) they were so focused on. 

Once the MV was over, the Enhypen boys were blushing and giggling like crazy. “Wah, that was, wow,” Was all Jay managed to say. A few minutes later they ended the live and called (Y/n), asking her to come over. 

* When (Y/n) arrives at Enhypen’s dorm * 

“Hey guys,” “Hey, baby,” Heesung said as he gave (Y/n) a hug the second she stepped inside. (Y/n) noticed the looks the boys had in their eyes, it was playful. “Come on, come inside,” Sunoo said giving her his signature innocent smile that she loved, though the look in his eyes told a very different story to his smile. “What’s up with you guys?” “Hmm, (Y/n), why don’t you show us the choreo to Cake? We want to see it live,” Sunghoon whispered in her ear, causing chills to run down her back. “Please, baby? It looked so good in the MV, I bet it looks much better in real life,” Jungwon said before kissing her cheek. “Of course,” If anyone else had asked, (Y/n) would never have done it but now it was her dear boyfriends and she too felt very excited by their reaction. 

Not my gifs - but this is pretty much how I imagine their reactions

[steadfvsthearts]

Cutting Legacy/New Xkit Posts with Beta/Xkit Rewritten

written 02.06.23.

you’re stuck in beta editor and receive a reply that’s been edited in legacy with new xkit like the one screenshotted below. what are you supposed to do now ?? how are you going to cut it ??

there is a way ---an annoying one, sure--- but it’s possible.

before moving on, i want to make it clear that i highly encourage switching to beta + xkit rewritten for replies --- especially if you are in a new group rp where inevitably some members will have brand new blogs and thus are stuck with only the beta editor. mixing legacy and beta just makes for a lot of headaches, most of which are very avoidable. this post here from rpschtuff describes the whole compatibility issue extremely well and i recommend reading it if you’re still resistant to the whole idea.

but in the case of some stubborn people, here’s a hack to still cut legacy/new xkit reformatted replies with only beta/xkit rewritten.

i hope this is useful in getting through this transitory phase!

Step 1, copy the previous person’s reply and save to your drafts. you can copy the gif/images by right click, copy image link, and pasting the image url --- for some reason, this workflow doesn’t make the ugly source links show beneath the image. i have no idea why and am not questioning it. you should now have something in your drafts that looks like this:

Step 2. Trim away the first combined legacy reply

If you get this note, just click continue.

Check the first box and then trim.

You will now be left with just the previous person’s reply you just copy and pasted.

Step 3. Now REFRESH the drafts page. And you will see the famous double glitch that happens when beta and legacy interact.

We want this and now we will exploit it.

Step 4. Click the edit option and you will see this:

There is a version of the reply that is uneditable and one that is editable. We will keep the uneditable one and delete the second one in editable space:

Step 5. Type your reply in the editable space.

When you post, you’ll see that the previous person’s reply (that you copied and pasted in) has been separated out into a similar format as beta naturally does!

The downside is the “account” that posted this reply shows up with a default icon (highlighted in yellow here).

However, this works in a pinch if you really really need it.

i just want to reiterate this is just a temporary work around --- and frankly, it’s far more annoying than just switching to the beta editor + xkit rewritten. if the original post were made in beta and cut with xkit rewritten, the tutorial on how to cut posts would consist of step 2 and step 5 (clearly much shorter).

this hack also relies heavily on an existing glitch, and if tumblr ever fixes said glitch, this method will not work.

switch to beta for replies ✌️😔, but hope this helps in this transitory period!

please like/reblog if you found this useful <3

[a-sip-of-milo]

Is it possible to be aware and have npd? I try to do research on this but all authentic npd sources are buried under so much ableism fhag i get too drained to keep looking after a bit.

I show some symptoms. I constantly have my first thought be that anyone who looks at me has a crush on me, is thinking about me, is captivated by me, and even though I get social anxiety I get upset not being picked first for something like being called on or telling a story or something. I also constantly feel like competing with everyone, and get upset over losing “competitions” that weren’t even happening.

However, after these thoughts, I usually think “well obviously that’s irrational” and I don’t act on any imaginary crushes, competition, or drama that I assume is happening.

I want to bring up this topic to my psychiatrist, but I’ve seen so many sources saying stuff like “narcissists can’t be aware, it’s very rare” or “narcissists never know they have a pd, they may go to therapy though”.

So I feel like by recognizing 1) that my thoughts are irrational or selfish, and 2) that I show symptoms of npd, I don’t really have it and I’m just a self centered person.

Your blog is the only place where I find consistently positive npd posts and debunking of misinformation, so I decided to send this ask, since again it’s harder to find info on places where there’s more likely to be ableism.

TLDR: Would you say it’s possible for me to have npd and be aware of it, or to have npd and be able to recognize and manage my symptoms?

Absolutely. The idea that people with NPD cannot be self-aware is harmful and extremely ableist, and also always encouraged by narcissistic abuse believers who are hell bent on turning the world against them.

Some of my closest and dearest friends are narcissists. All of them are extremely self aware and have gone through a lot of work - some through therapy and others on their own - to learn about and manage the behaviours deemed dangerous by society. This does not mean that they cannot possibly have npd.

A lack of self-awareness isn't even part of the diagnosis criteria. So yes. It is possible.

If you need some resources for those questioning whether they have NPD, you can click on this link:)

[shimmeringweeds]

Link Click Episode 10 part 2 (part 1)

On the Twin Question

Alright, so I still cannot get away from the verifiably insane theory that both twins visited Lu Guang the night Chen Bin died. And since we have points for both Li Tianxi and Li Tianchen being THE twin, I want to put this down as a third option to cover all bases. I hope this can guide people towards their own, individual, answers as to who did what that night.

Starting with the security footage. This is damning. There's only one twin..... Xiao Li never mentioned more than one person. But did he have to? Xiao Li was sent this image and it's not even live footage. Since Lu Guang is obviously okay, he may have thought it was good enough to just show the one photo and ask him about it. Why would Lu Guang lie? He's the victim here. (and Lu Guang doesn't lie. He thinks very carefully before giving a truth.)

Also, this twin in the surveillance image is standing right in the doorway. We can't see Lu Guang. The same applies to anyone else who might be standing inside the room. And you know what, if Episode 10 can reveal a hidden Li Tianxi in the back of the car, then episode 11 can reveal a hidden twin in this room.

The Incident, in Pictures

The first time we are shown a scene of a twin visiting Lu Guang is at the end of episode 2. I'm going to post screenshots in the order that they appear: This gets image heavy, so under the cut it goes.

The scene keeps getting cut. And the angle of perspective changes each time.

---

In episode three, there are two separate times where Lu Guang thinks back on the encounter.

The first time is right after a phone call with CXS/QL. It appears they had to go to the police station, and were not able to check back in with Lu Guang that night (they're telling him about the fight, and CXS notes that LG is acting strange). - pin that for later.

The memory goes like this:

Here, there's an overlap. Not a smooth transition.

Okay, that's just called reusing animation, yeah, yeah.... How convenient for the animators. Bet they breathed a sigh of relief to not have to reanimate this sequence for fluidity. There are multiple "animation inconsistencies" in this show that I'm not convinced are just so. That's another post.

At the end of episode three, we finally get a full scene (or at least, we get one scene.) Cheng Xiaoshi is presumably still inside Chen Bin's photo and Lu Guang gets lost in thought. (He is so stressed by this incident, save him) It follows like this:

We neither see hide nor hair of the "red eyes", and the point of view is consistent.

So what happened? Which twin is this?

We see Li Tianxi run away in a uniform. She shows up later in the same uniform. Similar problem with Li Tianchen, he still has the same hoodie jacket combo In ep 10. (and it could just be character design, but in this particular case I find it unlikely.) The twins run away and then someone, wearing Li Tianchen's coat, shows up at the hospital.

Huge shout out to mimicha-arts (I'm in awe) who noticed that Xiao Ma might have gone back to kill Chen Bin, thereby giving the twins time to move. There's still the matter of Li Tianxi "seeing" Chen Bin apologizing, but I'll accept this small blessing for now because I was ripping my hair out.

So either twin had time to make it up the elevator and retrieve the phone from Xiao Ma. From there, the visit to Lu Guang can be taken at a leisurely pace. In the meantime, they have a multitude of empty rooms to hide in, and the "security" is otherwise occupied.

(For reference, I think the top room is LG. Floor 5 or 6? We don't know about the other occupant, the nurse maybe.)

This part is all untold, a dark space with no light. We do not know what happened that night. We can only guess. So let's weave a story. (there's a huge chance this is wrong, okay, don't take it seriously.)

(EDIT: you can even swap the roles out if you like. I just picked LTC as default. There are no rules.)

Li Tianxi runs to the hospital. Maybe she wants to stop what is happening, maybe she wants to turn herself in. She's distressed and guilty. Li Tianchen catches up before the elevator doors close. He apologizes to Tianxi and quickly hides her in one of the empty rooms, let's say on floor 6 where the elevator stops. He never lets her reach the roof.

Li Tianchen doesn't make it to save Chen Bin. He never planned to. He stays in a blind spot on floor 7, where he collects the phone from Xiao Ma. Xiao Ma walks down the stairs, and takes the elevator on floor 6 down. Li Tianchen returns to Li Tianxi.

Side note about security cams. Xiao Ma wasn't wearing a mask. He doesn't care if his identity is spotted and Qian Jin doesn't care to enforce it, even though he very much cares later. So I don't think anyone was too concered about the surveillance footage.

---

Li Tianchen knows that Lu Guang is alive thanks to possessing Chen Bin. He was privy to that entire conversation. They can use that.

When did the twins possess Lu Guang? (assuming LTX's drawing here is accurate and she isn't just choosing to not to draw a possessed QL in front of QL.) That night is the only window of opportunity the twins would have to play this out.

When they block the door, Lu Guang's hand is right there. Possession easy-peasy if this is Li Tianchen alone. But that's not what's shown in Li Tianxi's drawing.

I haven't yet figured out how a potential coat swap works in this. There wasn't anything else besides the plushy left in Chen Bin's bag, right?

I don't want to suspect him anymore, unless Li Tianchen specifically requested the help. Li Tianxi doesn't have the coat later. So it is a one coat operation, in my opinion. And if this is a two twin operation, then one twin is always being hidden out of sight. Tricky, tricky.

Lu Guang is very occupied throughout this scene. He's tracking a whole hospital (but not everyone in it) He stops moving towards the door in order to focus solely on directions. By the end of the fight, his stab wound is bleeding but he's barely moved (it is a serious injury). He doesn't seem to have lost awareness at any point, but how easy would it have been for a twin to slip in at this time?

When Chen Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling speak with Lu Guang (on face call after the fight) Lu Guang hangs up right after Cheng Xiaoshi suggests he handcuff himself to the bed in case of possession. Cheng Xiaoshi notes that Lu Guang was acting weird. We joke and say Lu Guang just wasn't in the mood for teasing, but maybe he's worried those words are the truth.

When did either twin escape?

Remember, Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling don't return that night, though the police would have checked in on Lu Guang promptly. How much time passed before Xiao Li was conscious and giving orders?

The only exits known to us on are on the ground floor, and that was swarmed.

The twin's timeline stays tricky. Li Tianxi runs away at some point that night, not wearing her brother's coat. A few days later, she is found in the grocery story and taken into custody as an unidentified person.

Li Tianchen has some convenient timing showing up at the police station while Cheng Xiaoshi is still in their photograph. We don't know how many days have passed. What we do know: when a man hunt is declared for Li Tianxi later that evening, she's already been in police custody for two days. Meaning she isn't in contact with her brother.

Is anyone else getting the feeling there's more to Li Tianxi's powers than we know? Or am I just crazy (I feel crazy.)

I do feel that Li Tianchen is walking on a tightrope around Qian Jin. He wasn't asked if he wanted to kill Chen Bin, just told to do it. This play only works if Li Tianxi understands that, and still trusts her brother despite the horrors.

[ahappydnp]

This might be controversial, I don't know. But I honestly don't like Dan's content post coming out nearly as much as pre-BIG. It used to be silly -yes- but relatable videos with one or two edgy jokes thrown in. Now it's ALL "I'm gay, horny and depressed and the world is ending but we also kind of deserve it" ... I know that last part has a lot to do with We're all doomed and Dystopia Daily - like the clue is in the names, I get it. But when it's all jokes like that... where is the lightheartedness? Where is the fun? Where is the relief from the problems of the world? Pre-BIG Dan at least had a better balance with that. Anyway, rant over. Hope it made sense.

mmm normally i'd ignore this kind of ask because it's nuanced and i don't want a dozen more hot takes in my inbox but i get that you're not just criticizing dan as a person but more his content shift so (many) thoughts under the cut:

i think first and foremost it's hard to gage dan as a content creators post BIG because the only content he's consistently made has been dystopia daily and wad (discounting gay & not proud because...you know...)

it's also hard to compare him to his content pre BIG since: 1) the video format is different- DD is a scripted persona heavy talk show format that's more commentary on culture than personal experiences 2) he's not supplementing DINOF with liveshows/regular social media posts + gaming channel videos that showed different (usually softer or more lighthearted) sides of dan and gave the audience a more well rounded perception of him as a person

which i think is one of the biggest ""issues"" people have with DD. it's not even necessarily the content itself (though i doubt anyone would say DD is their favorite content by any stretch), but the fact that the main source of perceiving dan is this heavily edited persona that's a bit too detached from real life daniel howell? because yeah like you said, we know he has a lighthearted side, we know he's actually very kind and thoughtful; however, dystopia daily is about the content, not dan as a person. the product isn't himself anymore which is a massive shift from old content. about dystopia daily as a concept- like i said, the reception from long time subscribers has been basically "i don't love this but i love you and am excited to see you again". it's not BAD it's just not what people watch dan for? it's definitely not something i would click on or enjoy from anyone else, but i love seeing dan in anything and supporting him. and some of it is good! there are some rewatches in there! but yeah if you didn't know him prior to DD you might assume this was just another ~generic angry rich white guy complaining about the world to be edgy~

i don't agree with you that it's ALL "i'm gay, horny, and depressed" and might even say it's not a crime if it was? dan spent the first decade of his career having to edit himself and if he needs a professional second puberty to feel better then go off! am i excited for him to explore more topics or stories or formats?? like absolutely!! but i'm not angry about this era of him getting his bearings. did i love him pretending he doesn't like/has never been around kids when we know for a fact he does? no it felt weird and forced but i get his thinking that he wants DD to be detached from dan. "where's the fun"?- i will say that this year in particular we've seen more of dan's personality online! like the silly little instastories and tweets, he's sharing more about his life (like seriously who would have bet he'd post anything about their japan trip????), him in phil's video + the hair clip. and it's just like the biggest breath of fresh air because that's our dan!!! that laugh!! i know that guy!!! and i do feel like he's ready to incorporate letting people see more sides of him again after giving himself the space and boundaries to readjust after a massive life change. but there have still been bits of him this whole time! the few liveshows he did on tour were fun, him at the tour preshows was PEAK classic dan and he was truly the sweetest during his m&gs (seriously i cannot recommend enough checking out the preshow compilations playlist on youtube or meetdnp on twitter because it's just....god it's so fucking nice to see him being so fucking nice and remembering why he really is special). check out the idb instastories playlists because there are so many gems from the past couple years people forget about!!

i know it hit harder because dan is such a LIGHT and it felt like we lost it for awhile. he didn't lose the kindness or silliness or creativity, he's still dan! he's older and not the same person he was in 2014, but also who is? i'm not the same person i was in my 20s which is a great thing!

change can feel scary, but dan's entire genetic makeup didn't change. i totally get if DD isn't your thing and that is perfectly fine! but i will say if you're mourning the other sides of him, you've got plenty of examples that aren't current main channel videos. i do believe we'll be let back in even more soon though :)

[soupct123]

I saw a post the other day about “the Portal renaissance” basically about how new people consistently come into the fanbase due to Portal 2 going on sale on Steam every so often. That’s probably the actual explanation for a whole lotta people, but that wasn’t for me, and it got me thinking about my introduction to it. So I decided it would be fun for me to reflect on the story of how I discovered it, and then post about it because blebityblehbleh parasocial strangers’ approval blibbityblooblah

In 2017, Lego Dimensions sets started showing up at 99 cent stores. I was 15, and I still liked legos but I knew how expensive they were so I always looked for bargains. I really wanted the Jurassic World set, but I never found it. I still got quite a few, and one in particular sorta stuck with me.

The other sets all ended up used in miscellaneous ways for like brick built dinosaurs and transformers and stuff, but I decided to keep the cube and Chell built. Every so often I’d look at them, they lived on a shelf with my lego clone troopers, and I’d think “I should look up what those come from, it seems pretty cool” but because I was a dumb ass adhd teenager I never got around to it.

Then in 2020 I discovered RTgame’s YouTube channel through his Minecraft videos, he was my #1 fav channel for a few months, so I started working through his backlog. My favorite videos were the ones where he played with CallMeKevin, so I looked for those videos specifically and found out they played Portal 2, that thing that the lego things were from! So I watched it, and it looked fun and stuff, I liked the robots and the sci fi aesthetic, but through the screams of these Irish idiots I heard snippets of the most heavenly voice that ever graced my ears.

And something in my gay little brain just clicked and I just needed to hear her more.

Luckily, this video popped up in my recommendations thanks to raniel and kev, and it gave me fucking hives, and I became a GLaDOS junkie

I started eyeing the fandom from afar, but I very rarely ventured outside my niche, that being Portal 2 GLaDOS voice line compilations on YouTube. If I ever needed cheering up or had trouble sleeping I listened to her, I didn’t need any context because she was funny and had the most radiant beautiful voice I ever heard, and it stayed that way for a while.

I built a lego glabos late 2020 that I’ve consistently upgraded, but I’ve decided not to stray for 100% accuracy because I’m just not skilled enough.

That was it for like 2 years, I had the lego, I liked the GLaDOS voice, I was happy. Then in January 2022 I was looking for a Blu-ray DVD player since I started living on my own. Then my little brother suggested I get a video game console, and I realized there were a few older games that I really wanted to play, so I took his advice and looked up what consoles had Transformers: War For Cybertron, Fall of Cybertron, and Lego Jurassic World.

X box 1 had them but x boxes cost like $300. Ps4s had them and were a bit cheaper but still over $100.

Then I saw that all 3 games were available on PS3. So I looked up the prices and I found some used for like $70.

On January 6, 2022, I got this PS3 from a used games shop for something like $40, and War For Cybertron to go with it.

I wanted to find a co-op game to play with him since he had the idea, but he found one for me on January 20th. He said “my friend told me this is about robots, a lesbian computer, and a creepy facility, so I thought you’d like it. Plus it has a two-player mode so we can play it since you still haven’t found Lego Jurassic World”

I hadn’t even checked if Portal 2 was on PS3 previously. After my first play through of the singleplayer campaign I cried my ass off and told him it was the best gift ever.

It was the thing that triggered me to actually start getting into the community, and I luckily started in the right place: looking through the GLaDOS tag on Archive of our own. Then I became a Chelldos addict and now I feel like I’ve been here for years.

Later I found the Orange Box to play Portal 1 and then everything came full fucking circle

Basically, the reason I got into Portal is because I’m a cheapskate who watches twitch clips on YouTube

[crossingbaranduin]

Got a big project due tomorrow, so time to procrastinate in the best way I know how: headcanons! A TAJ one again — this time about Mike's powers!

Have been thinking about what the significant downside of each characters’ powers would be, since that’s slowly come up more in the show. Ty’s is obvious + canon already. I’d say Axl’s stays a bit less defined like his powers are overall (though I’d count the lack of control + ties to emotion as the downside). While I don’t vibe with the “Bragi communicates directly with Anders” headcanon out of some specific AUs, I do like the idea that the connection to words leads to constantly having too many thought streams all at once/effectively never having mental quiet. (I’ve also seen that tied to his usage of alcohol/drugs, as a way to somewhat keep it down, which would make a lot of sense imo.) But I haven’t seen a headcanon for Mike before, so I’d like to suggest: sensory overload/overstimulation!

(This got very, very detailed, so putting the rest under a read more! I have... a lot of thoughts.)

This idea is a loose exaggeration of the hunting skill in the show, with the upside being that in general, Ullr grants better senses to boost that. The downside, though, is that mortal vessels aren’t really built to take in that much sensory input, and without a good way to turn it off, it could get overwhelming very fast.

However, I don’t think Mike actually puts it together that it’s because of Ullr for a lot of reasons:

1) Mike is effectively flying blind with the whole powers thing. He’s the first one to manifest, with next to no guidance, and then is just basically trying to keep shit together. The connection just… doesn’t get made. Anders also doesn’t bring Bragi’s downsides up because 1) he and Mike aren’t close enough around that point to talk about it and 2) since Mike never mentioned there being downsides in that way, Anders also takes a while to put it together. (I also think he’d be less likely to openly admit it as a weakness for a lot of reasons, but that’s for another post!) By the time we get a Johnson with obvious downsides — Ty — his are so much more severe that it doesn’t occur that everyone technically has the same issue, Ty’s is just… a lot worse.

2) I like the headcanons that bring up how stifling powers as a vessel could have consequences later down the line. Mike cuts off his usage of Ullr fairly early, and with that, cutting his extra senses off also cuts off the flood of sensory input. Sure, it can leak through sometimes, but it’s no longer a consistent issue. When he does finally decide to use his powers actively again at the end of S1… oh boy, that’s gonna be one hell of a dam breaking. At first, there’s enough major life changes going on at that point to chalk it up to stress, but bottling up powers for the majority of fifteen years is gonna leave them very out of whack once they’re no longer suppressed.

3) Again with referencing other posts I should make: I have a long hc about how the first year or so of god powers is overwhelming mentally and tends to lead to a lot of rash behavior and all-around bad ideas while everything settles out. My personal TAJ timeline has Rob’s accident taking place about 3 months after Mike turns 21, so since Mike shoved everything down during that first year, that settling-in process got somewhat messed up. It attempts to fix itself once he actively starts using his powers again — aka unknowingly dumping him back where he left off. Combine the major life problems he goes through at the end of S1, Ullr’s powers in general — aka easily abusable for dumb shit, and that god-power-settling… and yeah, you get early-S2 Mike.

4) A good chunk of it can also be assigned to Mike just not wanting to admit things are wrong in general. Can’t have a problem if you don’t admit it, right?

Now, beyond that mountain of setup, I’d love to see a scene where it finally clicks that 1) yes, there are specific downsides to Ullr and 2) whoops, Mike needing some peace and quiet from everyone’s bullshit isn’t just because they’re a chaotic bunch, it’s because being at a 12/10 on all senses all the time can suck.

Fun details from that hypothetical scene from my Google Doc:

Mike eventually snaps about everyone and everything being too much at one of the group gatherings at the bar while it’s closed. Everyone’s actually been fairly calm and quiet that day, which is why it’s surprising. Mike can’t put it into words either, and the situation almost devolves into another usual bickering session until…

Anders puts it together first; personal headcanon is that his degree is a communications major/psych and literature minors, so that + Bragi equals General People Knowledge. Immediately puts his foot in his mouth by just blurting out “wait, are you overstimulated??” — which gets interpreted as him making a sex joke, to which Ty clarifies no, he’s being serious and is probably right, actually.

The subject gets dropped fairly quickly by Mike, who looks pretty uncomfortable with having this realization so far down the line, making the argument that it’s something they can’t fix just like with Ty’s downsides, so they should all drop it (on the threat of no more drinks). However, everyone keeps considering it privately afterwards, and Mike slowly ends up with some gifts showing up behind the bar. The next three bullet points are the gifts from each the brothers:

Anders: Pair of fancy active noise cancelling headphones. Showy, definitely not Mike’s style, but work too damn well for him to turn down. Doesn’t have a note attached, but it’s fairly obvious who they’re from, even if they don’t talk about it afterwards. Broke once due to an unfortunate accident with some god shenanigans but were mysteriously replaced rather quickly.

Ty: blackout curtains + a blackout eye mask with those cooling gel inserts. Attached with an offer to Hod-super-freeze them whenever. The latter isn't as convenient to use, since it'd definitely be the target of some ribbing (lighthearted, but enough for Mike to just proceed to refuse to use it), but Ty's ability to keep things chilled while he's around makes it a godsend (haha) sometimes. A good gift combo in general because the cycle of sensory overload + lack of sleep gets nasty fast.

Axl: combination gift from himself, Zeb, and Gaia. This is a while before weighted blankets are super commercially available, but he read about it online and wants to make one for Mike. Major problem: he has zero sewing skills. Zeb tries to help but equally has no skills. Gaia takes pity on them and helps them with the sewing (with a joke about how it’s better than sewing up stitches from one of their other bad plans, at least). One side is a fairly standard flannel pattern; the other is something referencing Ullr (casino cards and dice?) This is the only one directly delivered and not just left at the bar; the whole thing has "awkward but genuinely sweet Father's Day gift-giving" vibes.

Directly asking Mike if he’s overstimulated when he’s annoyed will only make it worse… but caving eventually to go take a bit and chill out is still better than sensory overload, so this group with zero boundaries will prod him anyways. There’s a lot of ribbing about if he doesn’t go chill out, they’ll actually go through with drinking the whole bar’s stock this time.

This ended up probably longer than the eventual fic itself, and with many other headcanons interspersed, but if you read this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Writing headcanons and scenarios for this show is just too much fun. (PS: apologies for any super dense text! Tumblr's formatting was not cooperating, RIP.)

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello! I’m in certain need of assistance, for the past 2 years or so I typed myself as ENTJ 3w2 but now I’m not very certain, not because I see myself in another type, but I think my Se and Fi is developing rather quickly (I will talk about it later) and also because even though I still think I’m ENTJ there is something in the back of my head (idk if it’s envy of Se and Fi dom types or it is actual doubt) that says that maybe I’m not ENTJ…

Anyway, let’s start: since I was a kid I didn’t know exactly who I was, what I liked, what I disliked, I was always organized and not in the tidy sense, but I loved to create systems, I was rather observant of my environment (not quick to act on it tho) and was always looking for patterns and systems that repeated, that’s why I asked a lot of questions, like A LOT, I had a deep need to understand things and when a system kinda “clicked” in my head I applied it to other places. For example, I love libraries, I think the organization of it is so smooth, and so, I did it at home, I organized my bookshelves in sections of genres.

This is very Te-dom / ETJ.

Even though I liked rational decisions I was always sensitive, I cried so much, and liked to help, when I couldn’t or when I thought I was incapable I cried, when someone gave me a harsh critic I cried, not because it hurt me, but because I thought I failed…

Dominant thinking types often have very unstable emotions, and are vulnerable in their hearts, because they don't quite know how to handle their feelings and may repress them until they "bubble up." As a core heart type (2 is one of the most emotional types), you being an "emotional" ETJ is not out of the question. Hermione Granger is a fictional ETJ, but also a good example of a young ETJ -- she is very emotional, she cries quite a lot (always in private), and yet, she always makes the rational choice. It's extremely important to ETJs to be competent, especially if they are core competency types like 3.

Changing your career goals is normal for an ETJ as well.

After a long while I settled for biology (my current major) because I like how all systems in biology are universal, how Darwinism, Genetic Drift, Chemistry etc are universal to all animals and living beings, and yes even the chaos there is a order, even when things seem out of place there is actually a motive (even with mutations that came with no reason, there is a reason) I also love how everything is interconnected, how killing a species of bee will cause the destruction of the food chain and all of that.

Another indicator of ETJ and your love of rational systems. :)

[...] started doing therapy ... after it I think I kinda developed a good understanding of who I am, I know when to be emotional, I know when to be rational (I’m a teacher and a lot of times I have to be a bit rational but after the moment, after a kid tells the other that she shouldn’t be here, and I tried to handle it without showing anything I would arrive home only to cry my heart out to my boyfriend) people that know me a lot say that I’m sensitive and that I have an easy time reading others. But for me, I don’t think that I do, yes for a long time I was sensitive but I don’t know if it is because I actually am a feeler or because I was so traumatized in my life that I became moody…

Since this sense of self awareness and control developed later in life, it would speak against higher Fi. It's consistent with ETJ.

And to conclude, I want to say that I always loved your posts, I think they are so well written, I read about the ENTJ one and I relate to a lot,

Thank you. That means a lot from a high Te user. :)

I just don’t see myself in stereotypes like being dominant or aggressive (I’m quite easygoing actually)

3s are aware of how they are coming across, so they can be 'softer' than a 1 or an 8 ETJ (upon which many stereotypes are based). You probably also do not have a super-aggressive tritype in general, which can lend itself to a more easygoing Te-dom.

I hate the “I see the world as a chess board thing” lol for me it actually is a set of domino pieces that I put in order, with some assistance of others, for me to push the first one and see a amazing image being created, some pieces may take a long while to fall but it is always in the path I predicted…

That is very, very strong Ni.

but even so, I think I don’t want to be ENTJ because I hate the “no empathy” gang, I mean, it’s completely biological to feel empathy, to help, to see the other and connect, so that’s probably another point of why I am questioning my type…

ETJs have emotions, have compassion, and have a great deal of love for other people; they merely struggle to know how to connect to them and feel confident doing so on a purely emotional level. Because in their mind, fixing a problem seems most important.

[ediblegardenspointloma]

Dry Bean Harvest

I am bedazzled by the Tiger’s Eye dry bean, though, admittedly, I’ve not cooked them yet. Here’s the description from Vermont Bean and Seed Company. 80-90 Day. Bush. Originally from Southern South America. This dry bean has a wonderful rich flavor and smooth texture. The skins are very tender and disappear when cooked making them great for refried beans or chili. Can be used as a fresh shell bean. Very productive on 24 inch plants.

Tiger’s Eye is just one of six dry beans I grew this summer. For the past four years I’ve had difficulty growing tomatoes in my garden with our trend to cool and foggy summers. But I can grow beans. Emerite pole green beans thrive as do a variety of bush beans. In 2022 I decided to try dry beans.

My dry bean harvests are small because my city vegetable garden consists primarily of four raised beds totaling 120 square feet. With half an acre, I’d be planting rows of dry beans!

I’ve written about cranberry beans after my first encounter with them in a Farmers Market Box from Specialty Produce. I wonder if it was their color or their history as a beloved heirloom in New England since the eighteenth century. I grew them for the first time in 2022 and saved seed for this year.

My cranberry bean harvest was abundant a year ago so I planted a 24 x 24 inch block this year with 2 ounces of saved seed. This year’s harvest, pictured above was 7 ounces. You might call these hobby beans—maybe a couple of dinners but I’ll savor them.

Cannellini beans are favorites and useful in our plant-based, Mediterranean diet. They did poorly last summer but I gave them another opportunity to prove themselves. The results were dismal—perhaps location related. One ounce of seed produced 3 ounces. I have other beans that were very productive to take their place next year.

Renee’s Garden offers Heirloom Dry Beans, Soup Mix Blend. The seed packet lists equal parts of Painted Pony, Hidatsa Red Indian, Yellow Indian Woman and Jacob’s Cattle beans. To give them a fair chance, I planted 10 seeds of each in a 1 x 4 foot area. Two beans did very well and two harvests were quite meager.

The Jacob’s Cattle Gold beans will not make the cut for next year but should be nice in a winter bean soup. Ditto Hidatsa Red Indian beans.

Yellow Indian Woman beans, (also known as Buckeye by Rancho Gordo) on the dinner plate above is 3 ounces from just 10 seeds. These were the most productive of the soup mix beans. If they cook up well and we like them, I’ll definitely plant a large area next year.

Considering the yields from 12 square feet, I plan to at least double the area devoted to dry beans next year.

My Dry Bean Sources Cranberry Beans—Territorial Seed Co. (These were all dark red. Some seed companies only offer the predominately white cranberry beans splashed with red). Cannellini Beans—Territorial Seed Co. Heirloom Dry Beans, Soup Mix Blend—Renee’s Garden Source for Tiger’s Eye Beans—Vermont Bean and Seed Co. and Seed Savers Exchange.

Check out other dry bean seed sources such as Seed Savers Exchange, Vermont Bean and Seed Co. and Fedco Seeds,

Sample beans you might like to grow by ordering from Rancho Gordo. I found their method for cooking dry beans humorous and helpful.

Check the What I’m Planting Now page as I transplant and sow seeds for the cool season garden. Then head today to Harvest Monday, hosted by Dave at Happy Acres blog and see what garden bloggers around the world harvested last week.

To leave a comment, click on “Leave a comment/Show comments,” enter the comment, then insert your name. Finally, click on “Comment as Guest” to post comment.

[sanstropfremir]

ok it's a bit overdue but are you ready? it's...

best stylings of 2022, part two!

once again, this covers comebacks that came out from july 1st to dec 31st, if you want to read the part that covers the first half of the year, it's here! there i explain the criteria that i use as well.

best overall

guerrilla - ateez

oh you think i'm over this? no i refuse. in fact i am STILL losing it over the fact that hanya and i managed to call a metropolis reference a YEAR in advance. i have a contentious relationship with the ateez stylists bc they have produced some very......questionable work (ketchup packet seonghwa), but then sometimes their affinity for ugly hits just the right spot like it did with guerrilla. not only is the styling an excellent blend of the best of ugly skater punk and revolutionary counter culture, but the mv is full of art references that perfectly balance the idea of starting a revolution in a dystopia where art and emotions have been made illegal.

stages: mcountdown 220804, music core 220806, music bank 220729, inkigayo 220731, inkigayo 220807, show champion 220803, music core 220813

bsides: sector 1 - mcountdown 220804, the show 220802, music bank 220729

+

2 baddies - nct 127

wrote an extensive post about how much is happening in the 2 baddies mv, it's already appeared on my fave choreos list, i am going to be a 2 baddies apologist until the day i die and there's nothing you can do about it. clown me all you want but this is one of the best designed nct mvs since probably wayv's regular.

stages: inkigayo 221002 (includes faster), music core 221001, k-909, music bank 220923

bsides: faster - k-909, music core 220924

+

gasoline - key

i have some...complicated feelings about gasoline that i'll get into in an extended post eventually, but i went back and watched the mv again for the first time in a few months and despite my complicated feelings, kibum gets it. the visual cohesion of this album is so interesting and unusual and there's so many ideas that i do love that it would be a betrayal to not have it in my top three. from the album design to costuming to all the promo material that comes out, kibum has such a strong eye and excellent ability to work with his team and i respect it so much.

stages: mcountdown 220908, mcountdown 220901, music core 220903, music bank 220902

bsides: bound mcountdown 220901, villain inkigayo 220904

+

panorama - lee chanhyuk

one half of akmu, chanhyuk had his solo debut and he went whole hog on doing something very holistically conceptual, down to the types of performances that he did. the album tells the story of a coma patient, and i highly recommend it as a listening experience, but the performances of panorama are exactly what i mean when i want idols to be fucking around with form. there are not that many so i'm actually going to give a brief description of each of them, because if there are any links you click on from this post, it should be these ones:

mcountdown 221020: he does the entire performance standing still with his back to the camera, including the ending fairy

music core 221022: does the entire performance with his back to the audience, staring into a mirror that is being held up by his manager

k-909 - eyewitness account: this is of one of the bsides, does the entire performance holding a glass of wine that he then dumps down his front halfway through the song

k-909 - panorama: honestly the most 'normal' of the bunch, but you can see the consistency in how he's performing and what type of aesthetic markers are acting as a throughline

inkigayo 221023: has a barber shave his whole head on stage in one take while he's singing

+

girls - aespa

i love aespa's techno nonsense. girls has all the flavour of a pre split tvxq mv but in a higher resolution. girls is purple line's daughter in a different colour scheme. i am not taking any criticism i'm right and you know it. the only thing it's missing is cunty yunho and honestly you could put him in there as he currently is and i wouldn't even bat an eye.

stages: music core 220716, mcountdown 220714, inkigayo 220724, studio choom be original

bsides: illusion - mcountdown 220714, music core 220716

+

nerdy - purple kiss

yea yea obligatory purple kiss entry, i love them and while memem wasn't a hit for me nerdy MORE than made up for it. once again they had almost a month long promo period and they managed to hit a variety of different looks from reimagined alt school uniforms to overly large sweaters. nerdy is probably tied for zombie from last year for me for best styling they've ever had. also rbw stylists are the only valid stylists for knowing how to dress someone who isn't a size zero.

stages: inkigayo 220814, music core 220806, inkigayo 220807, music bank 220729, show champion 220803, mcountdown 220811, music core 220820

+

sparkling - chungha

i love the idea of combining bird imagery and ocean imagery. it makes zero sense logistically if you give it an ounce of thought BUT the combination of feathers and sparkles and iridescent sheen with coral and lots of bright colours are such a lush visual experience that who even cares that birds don't swim. or fish don't fly. whatever look at the sparkles.

stages: music bank 220715, inkigayo 220717, the show 220719, mcountdown 220714, music core 220723

+

doom du doom - p1harmony

honestly i had a bit of struggle deciding on if i wanted to include this song or back down, because they both have really fun and creative mvs, but doom du doom won out in the end because i liked the stage styling more. the mv and its broke grimy street urchin olympic theme is so weird and charming and i love that they just have a guy hanging out in the background of all the shots just to be the guitar player. the choreo's fun af and actually uses their members' skills (see my choreo post), and it's a great touch that they had a couple of different flags made and they rotate them occasionally.

stages: music core 220723, music bank 220805, the show 220802, show champion 220803, inkigayo 220731

+

hair cut - xdinary heroes

like with the p1harmony entry, i had to decide which one of their two cbs from this half of the year i wanted to include, and it was TOUGH. i loved the styling for test me and admittedly it scratches my personal itch for punky shit, i like the ideas happening in hair cut more. plus the promo material from hair cut is just chefs kiss. so many jype groups went for an alice in wonderland theme in their cbs this year and personally i preferred xh's version because at least they threw in a lot of other references that offset it from being a direct one to one concept. the edward scissorhands themed concept photos were probably some of my favourite concept photos of all time. and they also produced a very cool and fun medley film for their album highlights that really loops all their thematic references together and has some great outfits.

stages: inkigayo 221120, music core 221112, music core 221119, show champion 221123

+

smartphone - yena

alright girlies pack it up, we got the definitive quirky girl fusion y2k cb, i don't wanna see anymore! i'm not a super avid follower of yena, but i really liked smiley and i like that she's got a consistent visual flavour. smartphone is a really fun blend of 00s references and retro gaming that gives it a different flavour then a lot of the y2k revival stylings that we've been seeing over the last year. although i'm not gonna lie, this cb makes me feel extra haggy, especially when she takes 'selfies' with the flip phones (for the young'uns, they did not have front cameras), but it's still very cute and fun.

stages: inkigayo 220814, the show 220809, inkigayo 220807, music core 220806, music bank 220805, mcountdown 220804, music bank 220812,

bsides: withorwithout music core 220806

+

runners' up

ok to start off: i have to make a category within a category, and that category is 'boy groups that vomited colours and fabrics all over the stage for three minutes', because no joke there where THREE separate cbs that had nearly identical stylings (there where actually more. i almost included bae173 here) and i honestly could not pick between any of them which i liked more. so here's the shortlist:

can't stop shining - tempest // the ogs, it was bad news that started this trend in the first place. i actually think the css styling is better than bad news, but i gotta acknowledge her trendsetting nature and also the competition was TOUGH in the back half of the year. highlights: the mv, mcountdown 220908, inkigayo 220904, show champion 220907

party rock - cravity // i was ready to be disproving bc nothing will ever be party rock anthem but the kids won me over. every single stage is just. what is happening. 10/10. highlights: music bank 221028, inkigayo 221009, inkigayo 221002, music bank 221007

drummin' - to1 // while i don't love that they booted two members (only for them to appear on boys planet), the rebrand for to1 has been really successful for me. drummin' is a fun dorky retro concept with some great choreography. they had the most themed styling of the three, which occasionally had some fun marching band inspired outfits. highlights: the show 220802, music bank 220805, mcountdown 220728

ok now that's out of the way, here's the rest of the runners' up:

play - lucy

i did actually talk about this mv briefly already, it's one of my all time favourite mvs from this year and maybe even one of my faves from the last several years. it's so stunning and heartfelt and deserves like 50 million more views.

+

halazia - ateez

honestly it was a toss up if i wanted to include halazia here or save it for the 2023 list because i wasn't sure what the stages were gonna look like, but now that i've seen a couple of them i'm confident this is the category i'd put it in for 2023 if i waited. i don't love the stage stylings but oh my fucking GOD the mv itself is a fucking masterpiece. the hala scarecrows...............

+

birthday - ten

screaming crying throwing up etc etc we all know, it's only in this category bc he didn't get to promote it other than on k-909.

+

forgive me - boa

screaming crying throwing up etc etc part two. the dinner table, the hats. the bloody stage. she's the queen for a reason. also only here because she didn't promote.

+

door - ftisland

i am not going to let any of you forget that this is a hag appreciation zone!!! also this is a great mv; it's fun, it's got great outfits, the production design is pointedly minimal. only in this category bc it's a jpn release.

+

hit the bass - blitzers

they went abroad and filmed in literally some of the MOST gorgeous locations i've ever fucking seen, which is what you should be doing @ kpop companies!! i'm tired of seeing stuff shot in la!!!! go to pakistan you cowards!!! they didn't make my choreo list this year but you should watch their studio choom to watch sya EAT the intro. ok here's a few stages with good styling too i guess: inkigayo 220724, the show 220726, the show 220802, mcountdown 220728

+

eyes on you - kangta

yea i know i'm the only kangta fan left on this webbed site and i don't care!!! this is a great mv with lot of great lighting effects and also a fantastic choice for the backup dancers costuming to include reflective taping. costume design that interplays with lighting is one of my specialties and i gotta shout it out the rare times it happens. also i'm pimp the og 90s it boy stage again, because i can and also it's a galaxy brained styling choice for him. and it has gorgeous set design.

+

pose - kino

gorgeous pink velvet suit, gorgeous mv that utilizes one of the most diffifult but most beautiful times to film: golden hour. he did do a stage in the pink velvet suit, but the mv is soooooooo pretty that it had to be on here.

+

458 - cix

for being produced with like $100 and however much it cost to rent that hawk, 458 is a fantastic bottle mv and definitely takes one of my top spots for having the most interesting combinations of imagery this year. there's a very obtuse connection to be made with the travels of dante through the circles of hell and motorsports and i wish they had played more into the idea of having driver/guide bc that could have been fun. also they should have called hajime kinoko and got hyunsuk strung up properly. it wouldn't have been that hard, he does commissions. just saying.

+

nabillera - hyuna

not my favourite of hyuna's showings, but she's still insane enough to make the list. love that she always greases up either herself or her dancers, or in this case, both. i'm gonna include some stages here bc the outfits are good, even though she didn't do that many: mcountdown 220721, inkigayo 220724.

+

birthday - red velvet

didn't love all the stylings, but the mv is a blast and the graphic design and all the concept and promo materials are soooooo good. my fave outfits are the 'candy' encrusted ones from music bank 221202.

+

standout element

mood trailer: awakening - trendz // this imagery literally never appeared anywhere else but this mood trailer is extremely cool.

28 reasons album trailer - seulgi // i wasn't expecting the mv to follow up on how good this trailer was, especially since it was for the album and not the mv, but damn it's good. it's so good. much better than the more half baked fairytale ideas that ended up in the mv proper.

i scanning film - nine.i // do i know what the hell is going on here? absolutely not. but the vfx are fucking CRAZY and i love how it's the intro song for the album.

--

you might have noticed that the standout element sections have been on the slim side this year, and that's because i'm actually gonna do a bonus post this year! since i got extremely hamstrung by the tumblr post limit, i wasn't able to showcase some of the music show stages that stuck out to me for whatever reason, so i'm going to make a post that's just dedicated to them. it won't necessarily be just stylings i thought were good, it will include good performances or nice set design or anything else that i didn't cover somewhere else. i know a lot of people don't watch music shows for whatever reason and therefore i think they miss out on a lot, so this is gonna be a fun post to highlight some of the stuff that i think is worth watching.

[ceyhanmedya]

How do you know if you have healthy hair?

New Post has been published on https://hazirbilgi.com/how-do-you-know-if-you-have-healthy-hair/

How do you know if you have healthy hair?

Our hair can withstand a tension of 3.5 ounces and grow up to 30% when wet. However, only healthy hair has such superpowers. Damaged hair strands break quite easily. You may not be able to detect the condition of your hair at first glance. But there are simple ways to control it and take action to restore it…

1. Follicle test

To see if your hair is overall healthy and whether hair loss is anything to worry about, you need to check the roots first. So how is this done?

Take a strand of your hair from the root.

Examine the follicle (hair root). The normal root end of a hair strand should be in the form of a bulb. If you see this, your hair is healthy. If the root is not in the form of a bulb, your hair is weak and needs care.

How to prevent hair loss?

Follow the Mediterranean diet . A study revealed that it reduces the risk of hair loss. This diet consists of foods such as vegetables, fruits, nuts, fish, and whole grains. Try to avoid foods like red meat, sweet drinks, and processed foods. It has many benefits not only for healthy hair, but also for supporting your blood sugar levels, protecting your brain function and heart health.

Avoid tight hairstyles such as ponytails, especially while you sleep, as they can cause hair loss.

Take special vitamins and minerals.

2. Sink test

This measures how porous your hair is. Healthy hair is quite strong, while damaged hair quickly absorbs the liquid. Remember that genetics is a contributing factor to how porous your hair is, as well as heat damage and product damage over time. To find out if your hair is healthy and get the best results from this test, make sure your hair is clean. To perform the test, do these:

Take a clean strand of hair that you just shampooed.

Drop your strand of hair into a glass of water. Completely healthy strands will float, relatively healthy ones will go down a bit, and damaged ones will sink completely.

How to treat high pore hair?

Apply various conditioners and oils. They help seal in the moisture your hair has absorbed. Applying these oils to your hair is a great way to keep it healthy, especially if you have dull, dry and damaged hair. It can make it look soft, healthy and beautiful.

Use conditioner after each wash.

Apply apple cider vinegar and aloe vera to your hair to adjust the pH balance.

3. Tensile test

This test aims to check the elasticity of your hair. It basically measures how severe your hair loss is. If you are going to the doctor and you decide to have the test done by a professional, they will take small areas of your hair (about 40 strands) from different parts of your head. If 6+ hairs are shed, it means there is active hair loss. The test will give results on whether you have signs of brittle hair loss.

Break off a strand of hair.

Gently pull on both ends. If it stretches and bounces back when you let go, it’s healthy. If it breaks easily, it’s pretty weak.

How do you restore your hair elasticity?

Let it dry on its own. Using heat damages the elasticity of the hair.

Massage your hair with jojoba oil. Jojoba oil can be used as a moisturizer and you can even add it to your conditioner to prevent your hair from drying out and breaking. It also works to prevent dandruff formation. It contains many vitamins and minerals such as vitamin C and B vitamins that are great for nourishing your hair. It can even prevent hair loss and keep your hair thick. It saturates the skin with moisture: Click to read the Jojoba oil article…

Try applying some honey to your strands. It is a great natural conditioner and will retain moisture in your hair. Honey is very effective for your hair. One study showed that it can even promote hair growth, with its ability to restore cells in your scalp. If you like shiny hair, it can also provide a natural shine as a moisturizer. So if you have dull hair, honey is a natural solution to this problem. Honey also contains protein, which is important for protecting your hair against breakage.

4. Porosity test

With this test, you can determine the condition of the cuticle of your hair and understand whether it is damaged. What you need to do…

Pinch a strand of hair between your index and middle fingers.

Swipe from top to root between your fingers. If you feel rough and untidy, your hair is damaged. If you’re feeling smooth, it’s healthy.

How to treat damaged hair?

Try a keratin treatment. Makes hair smooth, removes frizz and makes hair shine.

Avoid transactions. Limit dyeing, perming, and blow-drying.

Try rinsing your hair with rice water. Studies have proven that rice water stays in the hair for a while and protects the hair from damage. It also shows that it can be good to keep your hair color longer.

[nagasakidivision]

Damien: 35 facts meme

The absolute amount of dancing around things I had to do when writing this. click button expand it's long etc

He has a pet dog named Lucia!

She is a Schipperke, a small breed of dog once used for controlling rat populations on ships.

They're the little black dogs I've been periodically reblogging in his interest queue!

Everyone loves her. She is aloof around total strangers but can warm up quickly depending on the person.

Damien trusts her judgment in strangers absolutely: if she decides she likes you, as far as he's concerned you're a good person.

She has an extremely extensive trick vocabulary of about 80 commands.

I wish I knew more about Japan's dog show circuit so I could give specifics, but she is titled in rally obedience and agility (albeit only at low levels since Damien can't show her regularly.)

Damien's had her for about three years, but she's a bit older than that. She's likely five years old, once you get past two years it's kind of guesswork.

She's a rescue and that's why her background is a little ambiguous.

"hey raz aren't you supposed to be writing about a human here" ok. :c Damien is a diehard metal fan.

His favorite band is Holy Blood. Waves Are Dancing for best folk metal album of all time. (volume warning: there's screaming)

He's an extremely talented dog trainer (if you hadn't guessed by now) and probably had a missed calling doing it professionally.

It's one of those side jobs he'll do occasionally though.

He has...a lot of side jobs he drifts between. Writing, speaking, dog training, anything that lets him set his own schedule and that he can back away from at a moment's notice.

Capricious, yes he is.

The mall goth clothes stay on even during the dead of summer, so it's a miracle he hasn't died yet given how hot and humid Nagasaki is. He's dedicated.

He's got a good sized wardrobe, on that note!

How he can afford it is unknown. He doesn't seem to have anything approaching a consistent job.

He alternates between crashing with Shirou or Haruto.

He's fluent in Russian and English!

He's on a polyphasic sleep schedule and breaks up his sleep into two 2-hour periods and one 1-hour interval.

This...theoretically works for him but he is powered by energy drinks.

He can use "post-millennial dispensationalism" correctly in a sentence.

Like Shirou, he is devoutly religious.

However, he's within the mukyoukai/churchless movement! I'll have to do a separate post on this because I hit the character limit on this but it's genuinely fascinating as a social/theological movement.

Nagasaki has a sizeable minority of Catholics (the largest in Japan!) but having a somewhat smaller size population for a city in Japan means that his group might be...literally just him and maybe two other people.

He's a Tolstoyan anarchist which is more or less synonymous with religious anarchism...and yes, that's Tolstoy as in Leo Tolstoy, as in the guy from Jakurai's introductory quote, as in the guy who did War and Peace, he's an anarchist and effectively is the guy who codified a lot of religious anarchist philosophy.

He baptized himself when he broke into a park and jumped in a lake. Nobody helped but like, it's the intent that matters, so close enough.

He's exceptionally lucky in that he hasn't got a record yet strictly because the petty trespassing and being a public nuisance hasn't gotten him arrested yet. Mostly because he hasn't been caught yet.

When he says he's a public speaker...that's more in the Emma Goldman/Benjamin Lay sense of preaching about major social ills.

Speaking of talking, he's one of those people who talks with his hands a lot. He's extremely animated.

Not pictured: aside from the snakebite piercings, he also has lobe piercings and two helix piercings!

Obviously the fringe is dyed but the rest of his hair is also dyed black.

Looks and attitude aside...he's an exceptionally fast (and voracious) reader who spends a lot of time in libraries

He's in pretty good shape! Very acrobatic. A fast runner in spite of being short.