#like what the fuck?! he’s literally saved all of our asses 1 billion times and you’re gonna call him sexist because he called you out?

[metatronhateblog]

Not to Be a Bearer of News pt 2 with some essence of Duck Duck what the Fuck

Something fowl is afoot. Between the newspapers and the ducks and the content of the newspapers. I have had the drafts for these posts sitting on my account for about a month or so now and was immediately screaming at the responses I was getting on the first part of this series of posts. So let's get further into this bit of a mind fuckery.

This one is gonna be a long one so just hang in there, I promise it's worth it. There's A LOT going on with this.

Back to the newspapers.

Last go 'round we talked about Mr. Brown (of Brown's world of carpets) and his very strange newspaper that is the cause of the opening sequence having an accordion duck in it, as well as some of the other appearances of ducks throughout the series.

This time, we're going to look more at the newspapers, with a touch of me screaming about my thoughts from the comments on part one of this mini-series of posts.

We already know Mr Brown (of Brown's world of carpets) holds a weird ass newspaper...

and how he practically waves it around like a billboard every time he's on screen, going so far as to even cover his face with it at some point.

Now I could go on about how the way time works in Soho seems practically non-existent, but we'll save that for a later day because we're talking about the newspapers. At least...the newspapers in season 2 specifically.

As we already know, thanks to the X-Rays on Amazon, Nina's coffee shop strangely holds the magazines that Adam read in season 1 (a very strange and deliberate choice to be making...) but those aren't newspapers so to speak.

(Screenshots for the people who didn't know)

So I'm gonna get started with the FIRST newspaper(s) we see in season 2.

And that would be a stack of them on the street right next to Aziraphale's bookshop.

Now unlike most of the other newspapers, you can't exactly see what these ones have to say, which is fine. I'm more intrigued by the fact that there just so happens to be (I assume that red thing is a newspaper thing because I'm from the US and that's not what those normally look like) a place to buy newspapers right outside the bookshop. The building itself says 'The News Agency' but I'm more intrigued by the little red cylindrical thing. How intriguing that so many characters wave their newspapers around for us to see and the News Paper building is literally right next to the bookshop.

Even more importantly this thing ALSO makes an appearance in the opening sequence. I know, I know, you're all probably tired of me screaming about the opening sequence at this point but seriously. Look.

And then this extra right here appears to be holding a stack of presumably newspapers, possibly making a delivery to The Dirty Donkey based off trajectory.

But I've also noticed we never really see anyone on the street holding newspapers, only in isolated locations where you can very clearly see the front page of their papers.

Which brings me to our second newspaper appearance (technically the first if you're going by readability)

Crowley (notice the ducks in the background, but kind of a given based on the location.)

We have three big 'headlines' on this one page we see right here.

"Maple Lane Post Box Becomes Home to Spider Species Not Seen in 45 Years."

"Norton Institute Reports its Highest Intake of Students Since Opening in 1888."

"Billions Still Owed to Millions."

Little weird. we have two things that are an increase in happenings since a certain time period...and a not so surprising 'billions owed to millions.'

Then we flip it around a bit (and ignore the...weird way he's holding his hand)

And we have the name of the newspaper. "TADFIELD ADVERTISER." With the main headline 'Is Tadfield the Best Village in England?' and no surprise that Crowley is keeping up to date and looking to see if anything else continues to happen with Adam.

The mini headline under the big bold one says 'According to voters of latest 'Best Village in England' poll Tadfield really is the loveliest place to live.' And in the tiny little blue box 'Entirely perfect weather AGAIN for Tadfield.'

So even after the end of season 1, it appears we still have some strange happenings in Tadfield. Right on.

By the by for those of you who didn't know, pretty sure every single page of Crowley's newspaper is the exact same.

But I think another important detail is, same as Mr Brown (of Brown's world of carpets) Crowley also seems to be holding the newspaper so you can very clearly see what's on it.

Next time something news related appears, we have our little red vessel appearing while Crowley loses his shit.

Now we don't actually see newspapers again until episode 2. This specific one is a doozy and had me and @lady-of-the-puddle screaming over it.

When Aziraphale is looking for clues over the Buddy Holly record, we see him pouring over some newspapers.

SO! Here we see Aziraphale reading a Scottish newspaper with an article titled "Everyday It's a gettin' closer" and we can see a couple more on the desk next to him. Now I've gone through and read the article (I'll post a screenshot so you can too if you want) and to sum it up it's basically the owner of The Resurrectionist discussing the records that keep changing to 'Everyday' by Buddy Holly and how he thinks it's a group of pranksters but never can catch them and the security measures he's tried to put up to prevent it from happening again.

Now the thing that's weird to me is actually the variety of newspaper articles Aziraphale seems to have...from different countries.

Now you might just kind of brush that off....but why on Earth would this news be important enough to make world news? Why would it be in news articles from different countries.

But most importantly...there's a typo.

Now. I don't speak German (so correct me if I'm wrong) but I do know how to use Google Translate.

This German article is titled 'Eden Tag nähert es sich... dem Wahnsinn des Wirts!'

And I don't speak German (though I'd love to) but I plugged this in to Google Translate and what I found was insane. Now when it translates you'll notice that the word Eden doesn't translate.

And there's a little suggestion underneath the German sentence, indicating you probably had a typo, and here's what you're probably looking for, which when you allow it to translate as such gives you...

Weird right? You'd assume the correct version of the news article would be where they're quoting the song they're talking about (unless it's a different dialect or slang of course.) But it's interesting that if I'm correct and that is a typo...it says 'Eden.' Now if you watched season 1 or have some Biblical knowledge of sorts, you might be on the same page as me...

Why Eden? Why create an article that translates to 'Eden Day' instead of 'Every day.' I wonder how many of the other news articles seemingly have a typo?

If this show has taught us anything, what do we know about typos? (Insert Markiplier voice here) DEMONS, JIM! So could that news article possibly have been written by a demon?

Anyways as we continue on, the next (and most frequent appearance of newspapers) is Mr Brown (of Brown's world of carpets.) And I won't add all the instances of that because if you read my last post, you already saw them.

But there he is, with his strange recurring article about accordion ducks.

But I actually want to focus on a different newspaper that appears in this scene. This gentleman right here.

Looks normal right? Except you can just barely make out the corner of something peaking out next to his leg. Well guess what? This is the same guy who was sitting at the table Aziraphale emptied.

In which his newspaper never comes 100% into focus, but it's right there on screen, flashing and saying 'HEY LOOK AT ME!'

in which he folds over his 'your travel' 'Milton Keynes' newspaper as such

to a completely new side of the newspaper and walks away. But wait there's more.

Check this out.

In which he turns to look at his newspaper AND ROTATES IT before going back to standing there looking like there's nothing in his hand. Look at these back to back shots though.

Would you look at that. Our newspaper is back. Guess what though. When we look away from him again and back, the newspaper is once again gone.

Mind you this whole time, when the newspaper appears, you see Aziraphale's eyes continuously flickering away from his conversation with Mr Brown (of Brown's world of carpets) and directly past him. Possibly to the newspaper? Maybe trying to direct your attention?

Here we have 'Thenewspaper' with articles

"Unearthed mysteries of sealed library basement."

and "Government approves funding for citywide [insert word here because i can't make it out thanks to his finger] stations."

Interesting....library basements and citywide funding. Huh.

Now as far as I'm aware, the only other times you see newspapers in the rest of the season, are Mr Brown (of Brown's world of carpets.) And even if there were more, I'd have to make a part 2 because I actually reached the image amount on this post.

That being said...there's a lot of weird shit going on with the newspapers, including our strange little accordion duck which has me absolutely bewildered. But I can't help but feel like the newspapers are important when everyone holding one seems to be holding it like a sign, just so that you can read it. Not to mention the freaking typo has me wide awake every night staring at my ceiling.

But for now, that's all I have. Stay tuned for another mental breakdown over something in this show that is preventing me from sleeping.

(Upon further examination I might be making yet another post about this.)

[firewaking]

An incomplete note on les miserables

recommending Christianity?

why do you need a reason? a being? a medium? to do good? to be kind? if you have so much silver, you must not be starving. so what if you gave all to the one who is? does that mean you are doing anything more than a kind gesture? does solely that require that you must be sent from god?

the fact that the police man sang and mentioned god while doing the male protagonist wrong is not enough to prove this is not a film about recommendation of Christianity. people always think it is the person who is wrong, not the religion. so it is of no importance. 

jon is a reasonable man. even though in that age, no one can tell him what is right and what is wrong, he was able to tell that 5 years of prison was too long for stealing 1 loaf of bread. he is a just man. he complains of not meeting other just people. that only other just character literally died after 15mins of screen time.

what people do not realize is that, being with anyone, even a child, sitting close to them, can make you feel happier and at peace. you feel like you are no longer alone, although that is not necessarily true. she could still leave you.

so smart, even though he could have thought of it sooner. why must one of them go to jail? he could say that he is jon, thereby saving the other guys ass, and then go on the run again, for which he has experience, with his newfound hope, and back via where he found hope in the first place - the church, thereby avoiding jail for both of them altogether. he must fight, with the child as an excuse and a reason, instead of accepting his fate to be back to prison. the law dictates what "should" and "must" happen to him, but he thinks that it is too harsh. 

for jon, even though he worked hard for all his years as if he didn't have a next day, he still couldn't speak of who he really is. would you be able to accept that, even if you become the mayor? 

from the love story of corset and her beau onwards i cannot keep my eyes open. it goes to cliche. 

heads up, stop watching after 1:15:00. i kept watching till the end hoping for additional useful stuff.

and when the three people choir started, it was the most awkward moment and i don't know what is the point of this? what is the dark haired girl whining? it looks like some modern day Korean drama. 

hugo again has this imagination of some girl who would shield him from all that is harmful, be useful, and ask for nothing in return. for all of their lives, guys need a mother and a girlfriend, both in a girlfriend. but i can only say that the dark haired girl is the real MVP. at this point I'm not even mad even if she does not give corsets letter to mario. she saved jons and corsets lives. if it be inferred that corset deems her life less important than her love possiblities with mario, then i dont have further to say.

second MVP is obviously the boy. cliched, yes, but fresh nevertheless.

corset left with jon? what a weak girl. she cant be protagonist of this love. she has golden hair and that is enough?

? what is this? is he fucking her and loving corset at the same time? why is the DHG wearing her clothes like she'd been through some night? 

luckily mario stayed in paris, if not it will be -

ending credits - 

time, lol.

i know. i understand. what would i do? i would choose love. but what would my book do? they would choose the revolution. obviously there is more - 

story -

there.

but in the long river of history, when all of us is dust, when humans cease to appear like they do now, when our ways of living has changed drastically, what is more important?

everybody knows. the meaning of life. is to reproduce. and lengthen our population's or species's stay in (our part of) the universe. stay can be as temporary as billions of years (this means imminent extinction), depending on what and how the humans choose.

if i had chosen to stay, there would be bloodshed. there would too, However, be a new age, where people can live and reproduce in peace and abundance. who can say how we can calculate the numbers? but if our revolution failed, what happens? bloodshed and nothing more. so there is a risk.

however, if i had chosen love, i would have reproduced, giving rise to offspring, who would reproduce in their furtures. 

javier is the one who is "no worse than any man". he at least didnt waver. he held his ground to the last, no matter in the army /government, or in god. and who is to say his beliefs are definitely wrong? even in today's day and age, we still have people like him, and not necessarily in small number. plus, he says that he wasnt trying to bully him. and truth be told, he _was_ only executing what the law writes.

????? this is... you really have a thing for love that involves more than two people, don't you? again its the same two lovebirds, but now the two fathers also start peeking.

[rose-colored-something]

U know that one coworker that you love as a friend and think they’re lovely but they suck so fucking bad at their job that it physically hurts u

[ackerpreach]

This ending .... I can name 500 reasons and I will name them right now, because I don’t think I’m the only one who is upset with how things turned out. (Also, A positive message for all of you at the end)

MAJOR LEAKS SPOILERS/ READ WITH CAUTION

Update: after reading more theories from fellow RM bloggers, and sleeping over it one day, this entire chapter might be an april fools... Don't fully lose hope yet beautiful people. It's me just giving a review on a possible fake April fools chapter

After following this franchise since 2013, so nearly a DECADE. this ending is a pure disserve to the entire fandom. I feel like Yams has rushed it just for the sake of being done with the entire manga. So many things are left open, characters and their developemt are reverted back all the way to chapter 1 or are left even worse than that...

Mikasa’s worthless character development/ Aaronmika’s horrible toxic codependent relationship 

Oh honey... Let’s start with how horrible Isayama has treated her. We were all rooting for her, because we all felt like she was so misunderstood. She had a horrible childhood and imprinted on a guy who treated her like trash 99 percent of the story. And then, slowly but surely, she starts to realize she has to stop obsessing over him in the uprising arc with the help of a real man who treats her like a queen, more importantly, he treats her like a real human being. This man sees her for her abilities and that she has the power to be self dependent. She learned parts of herself, that she was able to work together with him like no one else could.  She learned parts of herself she was unable to do so if she kept obsessing about Aaron. All this love, care, mutual understanding and RESPECT these two shared. 

but...NAH FUCK THAT, right Yams?? Throw all this development away, all this bonding. Let’s make the main female lead even more yandere than she already was in the first season. Let her make out with his decapacitated head (like dude, this is also pure disrespect to Aaron’s dead body btw) and let her obsess even more about the guy who has treated her no better than a piece of toilet cloth 99 percent of the time. The guy who was never really appreciative in front of her for saving his ass billions of times, who always pushed her away, who yells at her and snaps at her whenever he can instead of reasoning and talking calmly with her in mature way. (EVEN PARODY YOUTUBE CHANNELS WHO DONT SHIP ANYTHING MAKE IT A TROPE WHERE AARON TELLS MIKASA HE HATES HER GUTS WHENEVER HE CAN) 

Then after all that, suddenly Yams tries to last minute persuade us Aaron’s always been head over heels for her???  He should have build their relationship better which he hasn’t even tried to do so... He must be thinking his fans are stupid for eating this from his hands.    

Like seriously??? What is this??? 

Isayama is just fully contradicting himself. It’s like someone tipped him off with a buttload of money for him to write Aaron like this to satisfy shipping needs and to cash in those extra money’s from it. Even if he tried to cater to Erem*ika, this is not how you write a loving and caring couple which people will root for. 

This next two panels just freaking infuriates me to the core of my soul. I can’t even describe how dissapointed I am with Mikasa. 

Why is she clutching that head so obsessively like that?  Why is she walking and turning her back away from her comrades? After everything they have done for her, after all they’ve been through?! After everything Armin has done? Standing up for Mikasa, beating up Aaron for hurting her. I feel like even Jean, Connie and Sasha have cared more for her in a healthy way.  Sure, Aaron cares for her romantically too apparently (What a twist Yams :)), but has he aided her to becoming a mentally healthier individual? Has he aided in her mental stability? The answer is a big fat NO!  All I see between these two after today’s raw Chapter’s are too Yandere obsessed individuals who have no clue on how to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Love should only go as far as the heart can endure and it seems like her character is not willing to be aware of that. Even Armin was able to let go of Aaron in those latest panels. Why does her entire character resolve around this guy??? I really do not understand. Her Ackerbond and her age is not an excuse for her to throw her life away like this. 

Shonen’s disgusting portrayal of women 

I’ve seen this countless of times in the many years I’ve watched anime. SasuS*ku from Naruto, Ichih*me from Bleach, Shinji and that oranged hair girl from Neon Evangelion.. Why do these women get decreased to simpletons with one single goal? And that is to obsess over a bland male lead who either treats them like trash or doesn’t notice them up until the last last chapter (LITERALLY WHAT YAMS HAS DONE). Some go even as far as the male leading wanting the kill the female love interest and yet the female lead is still in love with them???. It’s disgusting for him to write the MAIN female character this way. 

It’s dissapointing we believed in Isayama doing Mikasa’s character right. That she’s finally being able to let go of her codependency and to live for herself maybe live in Hizuru and find more about her roots???, but every single time she shows some improvement, it’s burried deep in the ground again by the Author. It almost seems like a lowkey kink of some of the male Mangaka’s to write about a girl obsessing over them no matter what. I see this so many times to the point that I truly stand behind it that some of them might have this fantasy. 

I wished he didn’t portray her last panels like this. Everyone else is living their lives while Mikasa is still grieving about him. I’m not saying she’s not allowed to grieve and everyone takes it at their own pace, but cmon... Show her living her life too. This is too much. Her being next to his grave and grieving him as her last panels just shoves it in our faces that YET AGAIN, BEING OBSESSED WITH AARON IS ALL HER CHARACTER STANDS FOR. 

I truly despise how Isayama handles her grieving, kissing his decapacitated head, carrying it around like some handbag, and her last panels being thissss.

The world leaving Paradis alone miraciously after all that??? 

It’s so weird and out of place with so many political feuds and disagreements between the world and Paradis, the entire Rumbling happening and we can see Mikasa just chilling outside in Paradis with no one bothering them. You can see the rings of the walls in the picture below.  I don’t know the exact reason behind as the manga is still in Korean, but from what I see, the story went the route of: throwing a happy ending without enough proper reason and  it was all fixed just like that in a snap! It doesn’t fit the entire narrative of attack on titan for things to be so peacful out of nowhere. When it comes to the narrative, how things work in that world, how hard it is to achieve peace, everything made somewhat sense up until chapter 138. 139 seems so so out of place...  It’s like I’m reading a chapter from a totally different manga. 

Aaron Yoghurt got defeated so easily/ Aaron’s character assassination

The build up on the first part of the rumbling was great, those kids carrying coins. You could feel humanity’s fear and Aaron’s hatred in those pages. As if he truly had a goal and he has turned away completely from his comrades and his closest friends with no return. The world seemed truly doomed, but he  got defeated just like that. He was in the nape all this time (because screw the warhammer power of hiding yourself elsewhere in his ginormous titan body). There is no master plan as we all expected, and in the end he just acts all yandere in the paths with Armin and that’s it... They massacared his entire character as well. Many fan theories created a better ending with his character. Him being reincarnated as Historia’s baby would be so much better. For him to still keep on seeking and to strive for power. It has always been his motive. It’s his personality from the start until chapter 138. Even if things are okay, to keep on going and to seek that adventure, but then.. He’s so weak and directionless suddenly.. It’s so weird... This is not Aaron at all???

Using Aaron for him this entire post, because I don’t want others to invade our tags... :)))

Historia’s baby 

The only panel we got from Historia’s child was this. Just a normal kid, normal life... Why did Isayama put so much effort in highlighting Historia’s pregnancy if it was nothing too spectacular anyway? It seemed he had major plans for this kid and for their development too??? It’s again, big plans, big developments, big relationship dynamic, but all  got thrown out of the window... 

Don’t read the next sentence if you are a minor :’) 

It’s like almost ejaculating, but stopping right before it and repeating that every single Arc.

My energy when writing about this chapter is the same as Nostalgia Critic and his hatred for atla the live action

In Conclusion...

I know us fans should not be deciding on how this story should end, because this is Isayama’s story after all, but I truly wished for him to wrap up things much more rounded. There are so many unanswered questions... Again, I think for the sake of being done with this manga, he rushed all of it. He’s become a millionaire from this story and now his pockets are jammed full, I guess he doesn’t need to put in any effort anymore, right? Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I really wished he cared for his fans a little bit more with this last chapter by giving some answers that make sense at least. It’s his fans who gave him this platform and the opportunity to tell his story and for him to at least give in a bit of effort especially in the last chapter is the least he can do. Rivamika being canon or not, he truly rushed it without thinking much about the entire story line. He expanded it so much, he didn’t know how to bind it all together.

Even after all this, I’ll still ship them in the headcanon type of way. I do give credit to Isayama for giving us a template for such a beautiful dynamic between Levi and Mikasa. He decides to waste it, but that doesn’t mean we have to.  I want to thank all the people with amazing writing skills, the ones who give us beautiful art like @carmenlee @phit chan @vialesana​ and many more. I want to remind all of you that we can create something beautiful of our own and we don’t neccesarily need canon lore for that. The art I’ve seen, the fanfictions I’ve read have touched me deeper than Isayama ever could at times.The Mikasa in our mind is appreciate of Levi, is mature, classy and has a strong will for herself. They spend their remaining days together peacefully. Keep writing, keep drawing, stay creative. 

I love you all so so much, I’ve only been publicly active since March, but thank you Rivamika fandom for giving me so much joy as a lurker these past 7 years <3

[redspiderling]

MCU Breakdown: That b-roll called Endgame

It's here. The film to end all films.

I’d like to point out for the sake of your sanity, that the amount of incompetence is so ridiculous, there’s nothing to be learned from this. I don’t have any pieces of film that I can build on, or offer fixes for. 

The mistakes are on such rudimentary concepts. It’’s like trying to find wisdom or offer a solution to an equation that insists that 1+1=12. No it doesn’t. It equals 2, and the Russos just suck at directing.

Starting with the obvious dig we are all aware of (sorry, I couldn’t help myself), apparently the Burtons have been living in dog years, because this kid aged 7 years from 2015 to 2018.

Also, they're like, 5m away from the target? Not exactly Hawk-eye, Hawkeye.

How about this one, doesn’t Bruce look like he shrank 4 sizes? The distance between Cap and that doorway can't be THAT big for Bruce to be that tiny.

How fucking lazy do you have to be, that FX studios edit green screens and place your actors in a conference room? Why couldn't they shoot this in the traditional way? And no, it's not the holograms, that shit can easily go ON TOP of the footage, no need to use green/blue screen, they are just lazy bastards with too much money, and can just green screen everything for no reason. 

And I know I'm not crazy, because in the next shot you can see him standing in practically the same spot but WOW, he's normal sized and appearing next to Rhodey now! If he was so far back he was tiny in the previous shot, he should have been significantly smaller in this one as well.

So sloppy.

Next on this travesty of a film, lets take a look at Natasha

Listen. I know we've been talking about changing the light to fit the mood, create an emotional atmosphere etc, but you can't do that in the same scene, ok? Natasha doesn't literally slightly shine up from a different angle (in the previous shot, the dominant light came from the left, now it’s from the right) when Cap walks through the door.

Also, if it was just the sandwich. And the... glass. And the water in the glass. And the book and the. Screen. Basically all the items on the table. If all the items on the table were the only things you guys moved, between Natasha closing her eyes and then opening them again when Cap spoke up, I wouldn't have mentioned it. But you ZOOMED IN, and turned your camera A BIT to the right, and now there's an entire bookcase behind her that wasn't there before. The fuck man. Someone needs to look into whatever it is that's haunting Headquarters.

This probably goes without mention but between the Avengers' meeting 5 years ago, the scene in the spaceship when they take off, and now Natasha at her desk 5 years later, the light has practically remained the same. The characters have been transformed, emotionally. They've grown for 5 YEARS. They've been through enormous emotional changes in these few scenes and yet they had to literally go to a different planet, to get a noticeable change in the light and the colours. No, Natasha's hair and regained eyebrows don't count as colour changes. That's Scarlett going bananas with the few things she had some control over.

Also, I know the following isn’t related to the visuals but who am I kidding, I’m going to point it out:

So, apparently, Steve went there to see a friend. Same friend who is crying in front of him, because Clint is on a murder spree. So Steve, fresh back from his support group goes to see Natasha, who is emotionally distressed, and Natasha offers him her food. 

Give her back her sandwich, you monster! 

By the way, you don't get to say "not us" Steve. You only go there to do your laundry, eat Natasha's sandwiches, and tell her that the work she does, to keep the survivors safe, "doesn't need to be done".

So your depressed friend Natasha is crying Steve, because keeping the world safe is hard work. She offers you her food, and in return you say that what she does is probably not worth her time.

Is anyone. Literally anyone, proofreading this script? Are the directors consciously directing?

Russos: Ok Chris you're being casual and positive. Say you would offer her to cook, be supportive, but that you actually can't because you can't cook. So you’re not actually being supportive, you just say you potentially could have been. Now Scarlett, push YOUR food to him because, well that's what a crying Natasha will do and Chris, don't pressure her to eat or anything just, tell her maybe she should give up trying to save the world.

... WHAT IS THIS SCENE?

Moving on before I get an aneurysm

5 years have come and gone, but the lighting in this room remains exactly the same. 

They shot these scenes on the same day and didn't bother changing the lighting at.all. Seriously. On a 120+ million dollar budget. And they couldn't change the lighting on these two completely different scenes that were set 5 whole years appart, and just happened to take place in the same space?! 

Actually, fuck the lights, They Didn’t Even Move The Camera.

Lazy ass bastards.

Lets look at our friendly neighbourhood Australians

Room A on day 1 before the murder

Room A on day 1 after the murder

Bright, shiny, it's a beautiful day outside vs Night time, high contrasts, storming outside. Also, camera angles. Top one is casual close up, two people chatting. Next one is closer to the floor, taken from the level of the murdered woman. For fucking dramatic effect.

There's more, check this out. The Avengers about to go and kill Thanos

And the Avengers having lunch

So, just to make things clear, basically Scarlett did the job for the Russos and regrew her eyebrows and changed her hair so that we could tell the difference between "about to go to war" and "having lunch". 

Steve's shirt is even the same colour as it was 5 years ago. 

I’m glossing over the fact that we see food and Hulks head and in the background barely visible from the horrible lighting we kinda see Natasha and Steve’s faces. Just the faces though, for the expression you should fix the brightness through your video players guys.

Aaaah. Much better. It took me about 30 seconds to fix that frame. With a magic, secret software called Adobe Premiere. Just don’t tell Marvel it can be done, ok?

You know what else looks exactly the same? Happy, fullfilled, family man Tony, and depressed and isolated "5 Avengers for the price of 1" Natasha

Be honest with yourselves. There's a bunch of us on this website who could have done a better job shooting this film.

There’s a bunch of us on this website who could have done a better job shooting a film that made close to 3 billion dollars in the theatres.

I just fixed the brightness on the frame of a film that cost 120+ million dollars. 

Life is a lie.

[wovenstarlight]

YWBK update: chapter 25 + liner notes

yesterday will be kinder has updated! you can read chapter 25 here, or start from the beginning here

okay, on to notes and commentary! first time i’m doing these, let’s hope this works out. commentary under the cut to save people’s dashes

Hamin laughs. “Given how bad you are at not being suspicious, that’s understandable.” “Oh, come on, I’m not that bad.” Hamin screws up his whole face in a squint. “Okay, so maybe I’m a little bad.”

this part was really funny to me when i wrote it because i was like “hmm reasons for DHM to understand why HHJ wouldn’t work in the guild” and then i was like Wait. Their Whole First Meeting, Dude. DHM was lowkey convinced for the longest time that HHJ was like, on the run from the KR version of the mafia, and got plastic surgery to look like his little brothers, and is possibly in some sort of witness protection program??? or something??? how else does he not have cops on his ass this man is so suspicious all the time

“I don’t think… They said the dungeons were, like, different worlds? Did they find people there?”

mafia theory second place. dungeon theory first place

“Like, humans? Um. No, no humans.” “So then you can’t be from there. Okay.”

dungeon theory shot down. mafia theory back in the running

“Hey,” he says cautiously. “I’m— I’m gonna go get us some water, okay? Why don’t you… take a minute.” “Okay.” “The bathroom is over there, if you need it.” “Okay. Thank you.”

after four years working alongside a guy you start to notice when he’s feeling a little out of it and needs a bit of a break... but as JHW mentions later you also learn to be a little subtle about giving him one

jung heewon What’s with your typing? It reads like Jihye’s [HYJ]’s fine. Very energetic Too energetic? He’s going to burn out. How do I make him calm down

Epic Burnout Man makes a reappearance! when translating sclass one of the things that makes me want to shake HYJ most is his habit of constantly adding things to his to-do list while he already has 1 billion things on his plate. and all the time he’s whining about “UGH there’s SO MUCH WORK to do” No One Asked You To Do It

Anyway. the point is. HYJ isn’t about to be beat by HHJ at Developing Issues 😔

jung heewon I haven’t spoken to him directly about this because if he’s anything like you he’ll take it as an insult You wtf whts tht supposed 2 mean quit typing jung heewon Better not say shit, mr “No, I can’t take days off and cater to my interests or go out with friends or on a date, I’m too busy taking care of the kids and making sure their needs are met, no I don’t care that there are thousands of people out there balancing personal enjoyment and romance and work AND kids at the same time, are you suggesting I be a BAD GUARDIAN to MY KIDS?”

see above re: not being too direct with pointing out when HHJ’s having Issues because he doesn’t react well

You wht but our eyes r fine jung heewon Even if having glasses doesn’t run in the family, you should still get him checked, just in case

top 10 funny time travel moments: referring to you and your past self as “us” (our = my eyes are fine), but other people think you mean “our family” (our eyes are fine = no family history of long/shortsightedness)

Also. Sooyoung-ie says hi [Attachment: 20XX1213_144516.jpg] 

ok no lie this was one of the parts that pissed me off the most, even though it’s Literally One Line, because. i love chat exchanges. i really do. when done right they’re a lot of fun to read. But Do You Know How Long It Took Me To Figure Out A Calendar For The Events In This Fic. now everything’s TIMED i have to count HOW MANY DAYS IT’S BEEN since XY event so i can CORRECTLY NUMBER the FILE ATTACHMENTS!!! this sucks!!! it took me fucking forever to pin down a timeline just so i could write this chapter plus the few before and after it!!!!

anyway i gave up when i reached year. i just put 20XX. fuck it. we are running on fairy tail time now. (actually i think that’s XXnumber number? XX76? or was it X796. something like that. Who cares i stopped watching fairy tail forever ago)

Fuck it! Hamin will understand!! “If you Awaken you should come work with me,” Han Hyunjae says all in a rush. 

“HAMIN WILL UNDERSTAND” => he literally was cool with me giving zero context for half a dozen absolute balls to the wall nonsense bullshit things i’ve done before. he’ll be fine with this too. dog_in_burning_house_this_is_fine.png

“You already know about the guilds, those are going to be for dungeon Hunters, but I was thinking of forming something like an independent group of contractors. Awakened people with skills that aren’t useful for combat, but that might… that will be generally useful. It’d be you and me, and maybe one other guy I met recently. Probably more in the future.”

given that HHJ has no idea currently that peace exists (i’m so sorry baby i’ll find a way to shoehorn you in soon i miss you so much) he’s got no intentions to start a kiseungsu business yet! he mostly wants to live quietly while just acting as a manager for other Awakening-related services, like YMW’s forge and DHM’s tracking service, along with the information exchange/lowkey spy ring that he’s planning on setting up with JHW and the bar. since HYH is fine associating with him in this timeline, HHJ’s thinking he can get a foot in the door that way, then eventually spread out into dealings with most major guild leaders

RIP to this plan. you were well-made but you will not last long.

“Please, I can’t tell you how I know that, I really can’t, it’d put me and my brothers in danger if it got out. But—” “No need.” Hamin looks slightly alarmed, and Han Hyunjae feels himself settle at the obvious concern in his eyes.

MAFIA THEORY RAPIDLY RISING TO PROMINENCE??? THIS IS NOT HOW DO HAMIN WANTED HIS GUESS CONFIRMED

“I spoke to the Task Force Head and she said that there’s been discussion about hosting a meeting for the nearby high-rankers, where they’ll announce the guild proposal and see who else is interested in trying it out.”

“they’ll announce” i’m sorry king 💔 you deserved a nap

(OH ALSO FUN FACT choi eunyoung is a canon character, not an OC of mine! she appears in uhhh i think late 140s? 150s? something like that)

“I think there’s… probably only one other S-rank who’s Awakened right now?”

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehhehe

Hamin beams. “No, they’re doing great! Spookie’s taken really well to the new housing situation, but I think Spots might miss the store…”

shoutout to @daemonic-dawn​ for letting me borrow a pet name, love u king. i had a much longer ramble about pet names here but i finished typing and realized it was all entirely off topic so i removed it for convenience

Hyunjae makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t— I mean.” He huffs, visibly taking a deep breath, and Yoojin frowns reflexively. [...] “Is everything alright?” Yoojin kind of wants to be annoyed at his tone on principle, but he forces his shoulders to relax, matching Hyunjae’s posture. Though he can’t stop himself from being a little short when he answers.

things the brothers have learned in four years living together: getting confrontational often leads to arguments that just fizzle out anyway, so it’s way fucking easier to consciously tone down their combativeness in advance when talking to each other about things they have problems with, instead of screaming their heads off and then having to calm yoohyun down afterwards to boot

“I guess. Whatever.” Yoojin slumps. “Can I…” “Hm?” Hyunjae blinks at Yoojin as he gestures to the spot on the bed beside him, then jolts. “Oh! Yeah, sure, c’mere.” He opens his arms, and Yoojin goes over and flumps on the bed, head in Hyunjae’s lap. Almost immediately, Hyunjae starts stroking fingers through his hair, and Yoojin relaxes into the touch, listening as Hyunjae continues speaking.

cuddles 🥺🥺🥺 sorry i don’t have any other commentary here just. cuddles. extremely and overwhelmingly comforting for a man who spent the better part of 8 years(?) with no major positive relationships, and a kid who spent 12 years of early life basically abandoned by his parents. you had best bet they gave up on not hugging each other 1 year into this whole mess

Yoojin hums in acknowledgement. It’s not like he’d ever let himself get hurt; he has too many responsibilities to his family and friends. If he wants to be good enough to keep up, he can’t afford to fuck up like that. But… hyung will worry if he keeps working so hard. He can slow down a little for him. 

Problems disorder man when will you stop. the way he sees “getting hurt” as an inconvenience and an obstacle to his duties rather than a danger to himself. the way he doesn’t really care if he himself gets hurt, but if it’ll worry his family, then it’s a no-no. it’s just. wow. i know i wrote this but i hate him

“Not really. I talk to Myeongwoo about it sometimes.” “Ah, right, Myeongwoo.”

haha gays

“Don’t be weird about him,” Yoojin warns[...]. “I won’t, promise.”

if the “i won’t” line had a dialogue tag it’d be “Han Hyunjae lied”

“Is Eunwoo still in his relationship?” “Mhm, happy as ever. Apparently they’re trying long-distance, now that Eunwoo’s gone off to university abroad.”

three guesses for who eunwoo’s dating and you won’t need the first two

Hyunjae raises his hands like he’s going to deny the accusations levelled against him, so Yoojin seizes him by the collar and shakes him until he cries for mercy

oh my o/rv ass struggled so bad with not writing “shakes him like a man betrayed” here. it killed me not to. but in the end i prevailed (against, uh, myself. don’t think about it too hard.)

“Jeez, okay, he’s an F-rank!” “Eh?! Then why—” “He’s also got an SS-rank potential skill,” Hyunjae admits[...].

play-by-play of this scene because god if i draw any scene in this fic it would be this one just for the sheer hysterical nature of HYJ’s reaction:

YOOJIN: I HATE YOU WHAT THE FUCK WHY. TELL ME HIS RANK

HYUNJAE: HE’S AN F

YOOJIN: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?

HYUNJAE: he’s also got an SS-rank skill,

YOOJIN:

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 11: The Word “Logic” Doesn’t Even Mean Anything Anymore

Our issue opens up with a flashback to establish some things.


Because despite the six literal issues of prelude, and all the ham-fisted exposition we’ve gotten throughout the “Dark Cybertron” event, we still don’t have all the information we need to understand what the hell’s happening.

I have a feeling this won’t quite cut the mustard, either.

Anyway, back during the events of MTMTE #1, when Rodimus was making his call to action to his fellow Cybertronians (and by “Cybertronians” I, of course, mean “Autobots”, because prejudice is a hard habit to kick, even for the best of us) Brainstorm was doing science on Hardhead. He was doing this science to make sure that the Dead Universe hadn’t killed him without him realizing. This is a very common issue in the world of IDW2005 Transformers, considering that zombies are a part of canon, so it’s just best to be sure. Nova Prime’s lifeless body sits in the corner like the world’s worst coffee table book.

This will take some explaining, because this is Phase One related.

In Spotlight: Sideswipe, Nova Prime beefed it, except he didn’t, because his “essence” returned to the Dead Universe. This is because he was chosen by the Dead Universe to enact its will on the other, much cooler, Not-Dead Universe. In short, he’s a weird robot zombie-ghost with a save point in the Dead Universe.

Brainstorm has his corpse in his lab to make sure this bastard is true and proper dead, or that the body he left behind is at least. That, in combination with Hardhead proving to be very much alive, means that today can be counted as a win for everyone! The “Alive-People-Counter” machine proves it!

…This is why we can’t have nice things.

Brainstorm being undead does have some precedence within the narrative, given what happened in MTMTE #3.

Though I can’t help but wonder what the guy’s been doing for the last year and a half, that he didn’t notice being dead, when his soul is a large, glowing orb with physical presence. I dunno, he just seems like the sort of guy to keep up to date on that sort of thing, if only for scientific purposes.

In the present day, in the beautiful city of Iacon, everything’s gone to shit, and Whirl’s gotten hot for some reason, as billions of Ammonites fall out of the sky.

Who friggin’ drew this-

I should’ve known.

Up on the Lost Light, Ultra Magnus is breaking out the fancy swears, as a… tornado, I guess, of Ammonites hits the underside of the ship. Bumblebee wants to evacuate the friggin’ planet- which, I don’t know if you know this, would be a little difficult to do, even with a ship the size of NYC. Unfortunately, that’s not gonna fly, however, because all the stars in the sky are blue-shifting.

Wikipedia tells me that this is probably a bad thing, and Perceptor agrees, calling it “the end of everything.”

Over in Shockwave’s Lair of Villainy and Magical Bullshit, everyone’s favorite purple science gremlin has stabbed a “time drive” into his chest. Galvatron is laying dead on the floor in the foreground, but this isn’t about him. Shockwave orders Jhiaxus to activate the time drive, I guess because he doesn’t have long enough arms to do it himself. Jhiaxus warns Shockwave to be mindful, lest he lose himself in time, and then we get a return to a Roberts writing staple that we haven’t seen in quite a while.

Waxing poetic on the nature of time- this time, in a visual medium!

Awful lot of fixating on your ritualistic amputations there, Shocky-boy. I suppose this is ONE way to try to cope with a lack of control in your life.

Of course, to those on the outside of Shockwave’s brain, this doesn’t look nearly as impressive- it actually just looks like him screaming really loud at the ceiling. Bludgeon isn’t sure that this course of action is a healthy one to take, but Jhiaxus is too busy being sapiosexual to worry about that.

I-

Sure. I’m not even going to bother trying to understand this anymore.

Jhiaxus orders Monstructor to go keep the Autobots away from Shockwave.

Also, Galvatron isn’t dead. Good for him, I guess.

Over inside Metroplex, Windblade’s face seems to be stuck in the generic “I am a nice, nonthreatening female character who is also pretty” position, as Ultra Magnus tells her that the universe is ending. Chromia watches in the background as this happens, likely wondering if being relevant in modern media again is worth this bullshit.

Hearing that Bumblebee plans to take the fight to Shockwave is enough to get Metroplex back on his feet, which is good, because I don’t think we have a lot of time to convince the guy to do anything- this event ends next issue.

As Metroplex windmills his arms through swarms of Ammonites, the Lost Light lands, and Bumblebee, Megatron, and all their experts disembark. Bumblebee makes an unsolicited comment about Megatron’s body. They go to meet Soundwave, who isn’t terribly thrilled with Megatron having become all buddy-buddy with Bumblebee. Megatron mentions that the Decepticons are going to have to rethink their strategy once this is all over, with the implication being that they’re going to- gasp- work together with the Autobots.

Then Starscream shows up with Metalhawk, Skywarp, Rattrap, Waspinator, and Scoop for some fucking reason, in tow. Skywarp is going to teleport everyone into Shockwave’s Bastardization of the Concept of Science House, even though he pretty clearly isn’t feeling too well. What a guy.

Starscream and Megatron have a bit of banter that won’t set your hair on end with how awful they are to one another, Metalhawk tries to apologize for attempting to kill Bumblebee, and we really don’t have time for this shit right now. The narrative knows this, because it shifts to focus on Prowl and the Constructicons. Things are looking real rough just about everywhere, and it’s coming down to the wire, so they gotta do the thing.

The thing Prowl really doesn’t want to do.

The thing he said that he wouldn’t do again.

So anyway, they form Devastator.

As Monstructor gets ready to get punched in the face by a bunch of construction workers and a cop, everyone down below is firing off laser blasts and gearing up for a teleporting adventure. However, there’s a small problem- there are too many people to teleport! Oh no! The only solution is for Soundwave and his cassettes, Scoop, Getaway and-

Excuse me, Hook?

Hook, my dude? What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You’re supposed to be a leg right now, motherfucker, why are you here? GO HOME, HOOK.

Anyway, I’m really glad we wasted the time establishing that Soundwave and his band of merry little men were coming along on this trip, only for them to not come along after all. Love that shit.

I don’t actually love that shit. I’m sorry for lying.

With the load lightened, Skywarp teleports the rest of the gang to where they need to be, and Waspinator is immediately stabbed with a massive raging poisoning sword of doom. Bludgeon’s here to greet everyone, and Metalhawk is gonna try his damnedest to get the guy to come around to their side.

You remember when Metalhawk did things like connive, and scheme, and actually had more depth than a sidewalk puddle? Because I remember. Now he’s just... Beast Wars Silverbolt, but he’s not even attempting to be charming. I bet he wouldn’t even call his evil girlfriend “my soul’s delight.” Lame.

Bumblebee, Megatron, and friends book it for Shockwave, while Magnus and Skids get ready to kick some ass. Brainstorm isn’t feeling so hot, but this isn’t about him.

Starscream is having a minor crisis over the fact that Scoop stayed behind in a literal war zone for Starscream’s sake. I dunno that he did it specifically for Starscream, but Starscream seems pretty convinced that he did, and who am I to argue with the leader of a whole friggin’ planet?

The gang makes it to Jhiaxus’ ship, where they find-

I swear to god, if there’s not a fucking explanation for what the shit is happening right here I’m going to scream.

…So anyway, Metalhawk and Jhiaxus start beating each other up, Starscream gets bent out of shape by Jhiaxus’ trash talk, and we get an explanation for his new look.

Which, y’know, thank fucking god.

Jhiaxus has new reactive armor, which takes anything thrown at him and adapts it to his own body for personal use, which feels like some Grade-A Kids Playing Pretend bullshit, but WHATEVER.

While this is going on, Megatron and Bumblebee have run into the center of Shockwave’s Laboratory of Morally-Abhorrent Mystical Buffoonery Masquerading as the Scientific Method. Dreadwing tries to make a case for self-defense of his property, but unfortunately he doesn’t understand how property rights work, and gets blasted for his troubles. Galvatron reveals himself to be alive to Megatron, who immediately grabs the dude by the throat.

Galvatron’s feeling pretty down about having inadvertently helped end the universe, and is throwing himself a little pity party. Megatron’s not having it, however, tossing the man into the ground and revving up to fusion-cannon him to death. Bumblebee stops him, for some reason, and then starts rambling, I guess STILL trying to be Optimus Prime 2.0.

Bumblebee, you put bombs in people’s heads to make them fall into line. You don’t get to talk to Captain Warlord about moral nuance. And weren’t you also berating Metalhawk for trying this same thing not five minutes ago?

Bumblebee’s words reach Megatron, and instead of annihilating Galvatron, he offers the dude a hand up.

Then Bumblebee gets shot and dies, while Shockwave just… stares menacingly, I guess.

Cool.

The death of his very best friend in the whole wide world sends Megatron into a rage, and he punches Shockwave in the face. This doesn’t really faze him much though, as he bats Megatron across the fucking room like he’s made of papier-mâché and dreams, going on about how the universe will save Cybertron by being its power source “in an endless forever.”

Shockwave, you’re a man of science. You ought to know that “forever” as a concept, doesn’t fucking WORK scientifically. It’s nonsense. You’re nonsense, and I hate you.

Back with the Bludgeon Ass-Kicking Squad, Brainstorm’s having a bad time, while everyone else sort of awkwardly poses. Skids gets stabbed. Skids falls down. Brainstorm falls down. Ultra Magnus is concerned, but he’s too busy not being stabbed to help anyone.

Brainstorm’s in a lot of pain, and then a hand bursts out of his chest and-

GODDAMMIT JAMES.

Fucking- Team -Imus burst out of the Dead Universe from Brainstorm, who I will remind you, is undead thanks to Dead Universe lightning bullshit, making him a link between it and the much cooler Not-Dead Universe. Everyone is posing, even Cyclonus, who absolutely should think that sort of thing is beneath him, but whatever.

That’s the end of the issue. Go home.

[jean----ralphio]

BoB liveblog ep 7

Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART

I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.

00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.

00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?

01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS

04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho

04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly

05:18 Horsie

05:30 Hey Fassy

05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹

06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy

06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY

06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.

07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face

07:27 Buck seems a little better??

07:47 Gold.

“Shut up boys.”

“Shutting up, Sarge.”

But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved

08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.

“What do you see, Shift?”

“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK

08:15 Oh Hoob

08:43 Oh God

09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO

09:33 Nooooooooooo

09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹

10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something

10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw

10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS

10:48 The husbands are unimpressed

11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike

11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.

12:39 IS THAT RICH??

13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!

13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me

13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip

14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333

14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.

15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…

15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well

16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP

17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!

17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3

18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO

18:33 RIIIIICH

19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.

19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.

20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??

21:20 NIX LMAO

21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3

22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.

22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…

23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.

“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”

“Why?”

“Damned if I know.”

Iconic. Valid.

23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3

24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.

24:30 Rich <3333

24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3

24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.

24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3

25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3

25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3

25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you

25:46 Riichhh <3

25:53 OMFG that exchange!

               “How are those nuts, sarge?”

               “Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”

               Wtf Lip!!

26:05 Bye, Fassy!

26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.

27:01 He’s so polite but so scary

27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh

27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.

28:58 Hey Lee

30:00 Oh God

31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹

33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK

34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty

34:56 Oh GOD

35:28 Bill </3

36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz

36:42 Buck ☹

37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3

37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now

38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.

39:18 Oh God, Buck

40:00 Rich I love you

40:44 Rich <3 ☹

41:22 Noooooooo </3

41:44 No. No. NO.

41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.

44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.

45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up

46:57 We love you Buck

47:14 Bull <3

47:43 Lieb <333

48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet

48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.

49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.

50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying

50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?

51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3

51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!

51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN

52:09 Poor Lee

52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG

53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!

53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.

54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.

54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!

And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.

55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw

55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN

55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol

55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH

56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??

57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.

57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.

57:49 Aw happy boys

58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!

58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.

58:36 Go, son. I love you.

58:43 Yes. Good boy.

59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3

1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!

1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3

1:00:48 Hey Lieb

1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!

1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3

1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉

1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3

1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you

1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333

1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot

1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw

1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.

1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it

1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!

               “You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT

               “No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.

               “Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”

Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.

1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.

 To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.

[nightowlfandom]

Izuku Midorya- The Hero In Me (Part 1)

Hey guys! So I am off schedule by a billion, but I thought this would be fun so here we are.

 You are part of one of the most elite hero squads in all of Japan, however when the oldest of the bunch insists that you hang up your costume for a while to ‘find your way in life’. You didn’t think that would mean being forced to go back to school...

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

CHECK OUT MY PROMPT LIST HERE!

Y/S/N- Your superhero name. 

Leggo!

...

“And we are here right in Tokyo where the famed Phoenix Titans have just saved the city yet again from a giant killer robot! “

UGH! Another one! These guys show up every other week. You brushed rubble off your sleeves as you stood up straight. You groaned in sheer pain, holding your stomach as you stood upright.

“Y/N!” Akira rushed over to you. “You alright?”

“Could be better.” You coughed. “Where’s Amelia and Haru-”

Before you could even ask your question, Haruki quite literally fell out of the sky...onto Akira. The two heroes fell to the ground, both groaning in pain. 

“Amelia you asshole.” Haruki groaned. “Oh Hi Y/N!”

“Hey Haru.” you giggled, quickly forgetting about your own pain. “Where’s Amelia?”

“Right here!”

You looked up to the sky to see your acrobatic teammate twirling to the air. She landed on the ground, holding what looked like the robot’s computer. “Had to get this puppy.” she shrugged. “Good plan on using a Haru as bait.” She laughed. 

“Oh you two are always using me as bait.” he argued, standing up. “How many killer robots does this city get anyways!”

“2 in at least a month.” Akira replied, hoisting himself off his feet.

“Let’s have a word with them now!”

It wasn’t long before cameras were being aimed at the four of you. A microphone was shoved in your face and you were joined by a woman in a snot-green pants suit.

“I’m Kira Sayoko and we’re here with the famed Phoenix Titans who just saved the city from a killer robot! There’s Makeshift, The Jade Archer, Red Frost, and Y/H/N, the youngest edition to the titans. Tell us! How does it feel to know you are the most favored heroes in all of the countries?”

“Uhhhh Tiring?” Makeshift (Akira) raised an eyebrow. “Are there any other heroes who can take care of this because we are getting tired of hearing our hotline ring.” he scratched the back of his head. 

“Oh you’re so funny!” Kira snorted. “Well inside sources tell us that the famed All-Might is on vacation.”

“Yeah that’s great and all but I’m pretty sure All-Might and the P.T aren’t the only heroes in Japan. I have a date tonight and I have a hair appointment!” Red Frost (Amelia) complained. 

“Who designs your supersuits!!” Kira completely ignored your teammates’ jabs.

“We do?” you raised an eyebrow. “Not sure how this is a relevant question.” You quickly noticed the crowd around you. How you didn’t notice it before, you’ll never realize. 

“Well we’d love to stay and chat, but we must talk to the fans!” The Jade Archer (Haru) bowed respectfully to the camera. “Come on, team!”

Amelia quickly rushed over to a group of young girls wearing Red Frost T-Shirts. Haru pranced over to a group of older looking women, who all seemed to be digging his thin super suit. (Hey, ladies love men in tights) 

“Go on.” Akira nudged you forward. “Go say hi.” 

“Akira. I don’t think anyone in that crowd is here for me.”

“Y/H/N I LOVE YOU!”

You turned towards the crowd along with Akira. A boy with dark green hair was screaming at the top of his lungs. “Y/H/N! Y/H/N! I LOVE YOU!”

“Looks like you got yourself a fan.” The older hero laugh. “Go go.” he pat your back. You shyly made your way over to the crowd. 

“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Y-you’re looking at me!”

“Say something idiot.” A blonde boy crossed his arms refusing to look at you.

“Nice friend you got there.” you scoffed. “Always nice to meet a fan.” you smiled at the boy. “What’s your name?”

“Um...Izuku! Izuku Midorya!” he looked as if he was about to pee himself. “Umm This is my friend, Bakugou!”

“I’m not your friend, Deku!” the blond barked in response. “Don’t get any ideas. I was hoping for some bloodshed!” he turned his nose up at you.

“It’s not too late for that.” You threatened, looking his up and down. “You wanna talk this elsewhere?”

“....Pfft! Like I have time to waste on you!” (But little did you know, on the inside he was fanboying over you threatening him)

“That’s what I thought.” You turned your attention back to Izuku.

“I haven’t been this excited since- Uh...nevermind!! C-can I get a picture with you?”

“Sure, why not.” you smiled. “I don’t look like a messy, right?” you got prepared as he whipped out his phone.

“N-no! You look great! Even after fighting a giant robot.”

“Alright, let’s do this!” You put an arm around Izuku. The boy squeaked a bit, freezing at your touch. Was he dreaming?

“3, 2, 1!” you put on a smile as the camera went off. “Perfect! I’ll treasure this forever!”

“I’m glad.” you winked. “May we cross paths soon, Sir Midoriya”

“Really? Ya mean it!”

“I do.” you nodded with a wink. “We’ll be seeing eachother again soon.” 

... (Time Skip)

“YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!” you yelled at the top of your lungs!

Not even ten minutes back at headquarters and Akira, Haruki, and Amelia are all sat at the dinner table with somber looks on their faces. You, however were livid. SCHOOL? WERE THEY SERIOUS?

“We just feel like your opportunity to be a young adult was taken away when you joined the team. We don’t want you to waste your time.”

“You should have thought of that before you fucking RECRUITED me!” you stood up. “You’re sending me to some school to teach me how to be a hero. NEWSFLASH I’M ALREADY A HERO!” you pointed to yourself. “...So you’re kicking me off the team?”

“Of course not!” Amelia reasoned. “You just need to focus on your studies. Find out of you really want to be a hero. You’re the youngest. So for the time being, we’ll find someone to take your place. At least until you’re a bit older.”

“Oh and here it is! You guys are almost thirty, you want to be the mature team, right?” you crossed your arms. “I’m just the kid of the team, right?”

“Y/N It’s not like that.”Haruki tried to say.

“When do I start?” You cut off Haruki, not wanting to continue this discussion any longer.

“Tomorrow.” Akira replied.

“Fine.” you kicked your chair back under the table and stormed off. “I don’t want to be part of a team that just sees me as a child anyways.”

As you stormed off, Amelia sighed. “I told you she’d react like that.”

“This will be good for her!” Akira declared. “Trust me!”

...

“Stupid uniform.” you glowered. You pulled at the stupid blazer you were stuck wearing. Haruki had offered to take you along with him, but you curtly denied. You’d rather pick up what was left of your dignity alone. The story hadn’t broken to the news yet, and you were just dreading it. “Ugh!” you kept your head down as you walked. 

“Hey! Watch out!”

“Wha-?” You finally looked up, only to run into something. The impact send you straight to the ground. When you looked up you saw a boy staring down at you. 

“My apologies. I didn’t see you there.” he spoke lowly. He held out his hand for you to take, which you did gratefully. You stood to your feet. You shortly studied the stranger who helped you up. White and red hair split right down the middle. one gray eye, the other blue. He looked confident. You’d have to remember his face.

“Sorry.” You grumbled, walking past him. You started up at the building with disgust. You didn’t need to be here. It would have been less insulting to send you to a regular school. 

Suddenly, your phone buzzed. It was a message from Haruki!

Hey kid! Good luck and Kick some ass today! (Insert some crazy meme here) 

You could only smile sadly. While they were coming from a good place, it still didn’t make sense. As you were looking down at your phone, you felt like you were being watched. Your only moved your eyes, just a minute. Out the the corner of your vision, you could see people looking at you. Well, staring was a better word.

“Is that Y/H/N?” “What is she doing here?” “She’s wearing a uniform...” “Is she a student?”

Great...today was staring off really swell. What else could happen...

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[yoshimickster]

RETURN OF THE RWBY MICKSTERECAPS-(Rwby Volume 6x01 “Argus Limited” spoilers)

HEY EVERYBLOODY-sorry I’m a day late, went to a punk show and got home around 2 AM-EITHER WEITHER-let’s get to the show!

WE START OUT WITH-

A niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice and snowy landscape, *SIGH* so peaceful-BUT SUDDENLY-

0:28 First rule of Rwby, any scene that starts with a train is gon’ have SHIT GOIN’ DOWN YO!

0:32 See that? Giant fluffy Manticore Grimm-BUT THAT FUCKER GETS SLASHED-

0:38 I love the smell of Grimm dust *SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF* smells like victory-BUT THEN-

0:45 A WILD WEISS APPEARS-all smilin’ and KICKIN’ ASS!

0:57 AND FINALLY-

BUMBLEBEE-fighting together with absolutely no awkward tension between the two of them at a-PFFT-HAHAHAHAHA-oh I couldn’t say that with a straight face, but seriously they’re in a better place than last season. ALSO-

1:05  TEAM JNR-fashionably late as always, the sassy bitches.

Nora: WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMETHING?!

Jaune: BECAUSE WE TRAVEL WITH MILO MURPHY’S ALCOHOLIC COUSIN!

And everybody just starst BLASTING THE SHIT OUT OF GRIMM-Ren sniping with knife guns, Jaune blocking with his shield, and Nora just doing her thing-ALSO-

1:17 FIRST RENORA MOMENT OF THE SEASON-at least ONE section of the shippers will be sated...although I DO find it weird how the two haven’t kissed on screen  yet, I mean like why not? They are UNDOUBTEDLY a couple now, what they tryna hide? Its kinda like how in a lot of Shonen manga when NO official couple kisses on screen, just odd to me.

Everything’s going fine...well fine for battle standards-UNTIL-

1:24 Jaune: TUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!

Damn Miles has some pipes.

Everybah starts RUNNIN’ to the tunnel-BUT-

1:29

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWeiss gets suckerblasted by one of the manticore Grimm-IS THIS HER END?! 

NOPE-almost girlfriend to the rescue! AND THEN-

1:33 WHITEROSE COMBO MOVE-awesome.

WOO-that was one god damn minute and a half, like seriously! After that triumphant scene I’m sure we won’t transition to something absolutely horrifyi-

2:23 Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Adam, you do NOT take getting dumped lightly do you? Ah well, at least he has that expensive chai-

2:32 *SLASH*

DAMMIT ADAM-what’d that chair ever do to you? Could’ve at least sold it at a Pawn shop, got a couple hundred Lien I’m betting, absolutely wasteful, SHAME Adam-SHAME! 

ATHENCUTTO-

2:44 THE TRAIN STATION FROM AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER-but in the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuture! Nah it ain’t, but it TOTALLY looks like that right?

Qrow than gives a shameless recap-I MEAN-reads his own letter that he’s sending to General Ironwood(he probably wrote it drunk so I’m betting he was checking for spalling erors...don’t you JODGE me) which he ends with-

3:43 “See you soon, bro”.

‘Daaaaaaaaw!

BUT THEN-a wild Ruby appears, utterly excited that her train’s coming up so she could get out of that god damned train station! I understand her antsyness, the wait can be a NIGHTMARE!

3:50

Well that hall way has enough space, I’m sure Ruby can just saunter on over to the gift shop-

...or use her semblance and dash on over there like a crazy person. One of these days your gonna HIT someone young lady-GAH!

Team...RWBY...OJNR...Ruby O’Junior, yeah let’s go with that, then has a short moment of shooting the shit.

Heh, look at these two, fussing over gifts-PROTECT THESE SWEET BABY CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS! 

ALSO-a random Nora Beach fantasy!

...that apparently leaked its way into reality. Oscar H. Pines, Nora is so thirsty to see Ren in a swimsuit she alters time and SPACE!

BUT-just when you thought everybody is completely happy about this-

4:31 WEISS-casually reminds everyone how hard it was for her to escape her abusive father, and how this is hard for her-CONTINUITY!

After Ruby than gives the obligatory pep-talk-WE ARE INTRODUCED TO-

-Dee and Dudley, two corrupt pro-huntsman who try to shake down Ruby O’Junior, one of whom is JUST 2 weeks from retirement.

They also condescendingly tell them they’ll give them extra protection if they pay them...did...did these idiots NOT watch the news?! THEY’RE PRACTICALLY A SUPERHERO TEAM!

AND NOW-the greatest Rwby Reaction pose of ALL time-

5:05

THIS right here, THIS is art.

Qrow than shows up and GIVES THEM THE BUSINESS! No-one tries to shake down HIS kids! 

5:17

Look at Dee’s dumbfounded ass face after talking back, this is Qrow fucking BRANWEN mother fucker! Now go lock that gate that Adam sneaked into!

5:48 Oscar: I’m sure glad its our job saving the world and not theirs.

Jaune: Yeah, now if ONLY one of us didn’t hide a billion secrets from all of us because reasons.

Ozpin: Okay let me at him.

Oscar: YOU SIT IN YOUR SHAME OLD MAN!

After that, everyone in Team Ruby O’Hara is READY to go, except for Blake which Weiss points out...in the best way possible-

5:55 Weiss: Just waiting for Blake, as usual.

HAHA-she abandoned her team for months on end.

A THEN CUT TO-

6:02 Blake saying good-bye to her almost-ex-girlfriend Ilia, and its just SWEET.

6:24 WHOA-that’s a little forward Ili-

6:25 Ooooooooooh that was DIRTY Rooster Teeth, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! DAH-but its still a cute good bye-ALSO-

6:55 BEST BOY SUN WUKONG-here to say good bye as well!

OH-and Neptune’s here too. Hi Neptune, still living under that idiotic lady killer facade?

Neptune: OH...I didn’t know Ilia was gonna be here.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.

7:22 Blake: Wrong tree.

Sun: Yeah teaching him gaydar is one of many many MANY reasons I gotta rejoin my team.

The two than have a nice heart to heart about where they’re going in life, Sun needs to go back to Vacuo to be with his team he LITERALLY abandoned, Blake needs to save the world from a Maleficent cosplayer, they’re just passing ships in the night and it comes to a head...when Sun says this-

7:55 Sun:I GO WHERE I’M NEEDED...and...you don’t need me anymore!

Blake:...well when you say it like that it sound sad.

Aw man, sad Blake ears.

Sun(paraphrased): Despite everything I had a lot of fun but-

-you’re with who you’re supposed to be with now.

Bumblebee shippers will interpret THAT how they want to and I. Do. Not. Blame. THEM!

Sun and Blake than finish off their good bye saying they’ll probably see it again(and by probably we know definitely because COME ON Michael Jones is one of the heavy hitters in Rooster Teeth). The good bye then ends-

-with a cute Blacksun peck on the cheek. Feel conflicted about which ship for Blake is better yet? If not, you haven’t been watching this show so...what the hell are you reading this blog for? SHORT CUT TO-

8:49 

Neptune: I dunno man, it feels like your just letting her go.

Says the guy who can’t stick to one crush for more than five seconds. Notice how he didn’t say hi to Weiss? Because she’s logically MAD you blue haired Lothario!

AFTER THAT-there’s THIS little scene:

Sun: Now that your leader’s back and hardened from battle, I’ve gotta focus all of my time on getting you boys ready for the wastelands.

9:01

Neptune: *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*.

Anyone else think Neptune’s sigh might mean something more than just annoyance? I know Sun said his team was okay with the small hiatus, but what if they weren’t? Also maybe he was insulted by Sun implying that his team was just standing around without him, that while Sun was going on his adventure time standed still with them. Sun’s a good kid, and was mature enough to let Blake go once she got her real team back, but even to his own admittance he’s not the best leader. Just saying, food for thought.

A THEN CUT TO-

9:05 A nice snowy train where nothing bad is gonna happen. And INSIDE THE TRAIN-

-a totally not-suspicious looking Maz Napata from Star Wars meets old lady Katara from Legend of Korra who will TOTALLY not interact with the main cast...totally. BUT-enough about that-BEHOLD-

9:22 ALL of team Rwby sleeping in a bunkbed room like the good old days-HUZZAH! But all is not well AS THERE IS ALSO-

SUPER AWKWARD TENSION BETWEEN YANG AND BLAKE! But nah, Yang tells Blake that while things are weird and it’ll take a while before things get back to normal, she glad she and her posse are back together which PROMPTS-

THIS cuteness, which Whiterose shippers will interpret how they will.

Either way its TIME TO PLAY VIDEO GAM-

*CRASH*

10:31

DAMN that was a tough crash, it made Qrow lose his usually iron grip on booze! A THEN CUT TO-

...the...beginning of the episode...yeah I don’t know why they wrote the story like this either, I guess to start the season with a bang in showing how team RWBY is back in sync but I dunno.

But hey don’t worry, DEE AND DUDLEY are on the case, and I’m sure it TOTALLY doesn’t matter that Dee is two weeks from retirement!

*GASP* I am truly shocked. You shall always be remembered Dee, as a creepy weirdo who tried shake down a bunch of highschoolers for money.

THEN fighting fighting fighting, AND THEN-Dundey remembers he’s a security officer in charge of a high tech train!

12:06

I show four pictures here to point out that that WHOLE sequence took less than a MINUTE! Its like WE GET IT Rooster Teeth, you have an animation budget now! 

It also activated the turrets which take out ALL four of these Grimm, which I’m SURE the boss Grimm won’t notic-

12:46 Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit it  noticed. It tells the lesser Grimm to attack the turrets and...oh god I found this by accident but it must be shared-

It landed-ASS FIRST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And as to be expected knocking out the turrets didn’t JUST take out their defenses-

But ALSO-put the passengers in danger. Its like, use the turrets some Grimm die but they’ll attack the train more, DON’T use the turrets and they’ll attack anyway with less dead grimm, its a total catch 22!

Obviously bad-ass Qrow Branwen realizes and gets his TOP GUY TO STOP DUNDY-

...Oscar...desperate times I suppose.

Dundey like an idiot DOESN’T listen to the logical decision to turn off the glowing red fuck me spots for the Grimm to hit, and even MORE idiotically-

*CRACK* NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

...decides to hang from the SIDE of a train going into a tunnel....instead of finding a way to duck...how many good Huntsmen/Huntresses did Salem’s unnamed faction kill, because I can’t help thinking he and his late partner were scraped from the bottom of the barrel.

BACK in the train, everyone’s as completely calm as they possibly could be.

14:19 Qrow: I SAID, turn those damn things OFF! *SLAM*

Seriously, in this situation Qrow is SUPER calm, I’d wanna kick his ass too.

Ruby then ACTUALLY calmly asks the guy to turn off the turrets(she’s got resolve of STEEL that one) AND THEY COME UP WITH A PLAN-to use a combo of Jaune’s Aura-booster powers and Ren’s emotion mask powers to mask the train. A plan that I’m sure will go off without ONE hit-

15:32 Oscar: I’m afraid there’s one complication.

Son of a god damned bitch Oz, I SWEAR TO GOD!

“The Grimm are also attracted...to this.”

Logically team Rugby O’Shaunnesy is as pissed at Oz as the fans for putting everyone in danger without telling them because he’s a mysterious wizard.

BUT-they gotta stay on task and kick Oscar in the nuts later, THEY MUST SAVE THE PYORPLES!

Sadly, they realize that they have to seperate the car with the passengers masked by Ren and Jaune, from the one with Team RWBY Qrow and a dumb old man in a child’s body. The two teams have to say good bye.

Jaune: Only if you’ll promise you’ll meet us there.

Ruby: Promise.

Weiss: Just know it’ll probably take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time for us to get there.

Qrow: I estimate about 12 to 14 epis-I MEAN days.

Team Bad-name-pun then SPRINGS INTO ACTION-getting all the passengers in the front car-

16:29

-including this one bespectacled passenger who will in no way affect the plot in any way no and forever QUIT ASKING ABOUT IT!

Blake then cuts the cable cars-BUT SEES-

GAH-stalker much? I can’t believe Adam followed them-OR DID HE-

Is it actually Adam, or PTSD induced hallucination, FIND OUT NEXT EPISODE!

And what’s cool about the next sequence is that it needed NO explanation, you get it obviously from what you see.

Rubes gets JUST enough of a signal from Nora-

-so the MOMENT the Grimm land-

17:02

“NOW!”

-they start the maneuver.

No real comment on here other than how I LOVE how the black and white color palette over-takes the colored train car.

And then BACK TO FIGHTING!

And dear GOD there are so many great Grimm-kills here, so many I’d be here ALL day cutting and pasting every single one so I’ll just put the boss take down-STEP ONE-

Yang slides herself to the back-

-Blake THROWS it to Yang-

-AND YANG JUST PUNCHES THAT SHIT BACK-

-tying that greasy Grimm in PLACE-WHICH WEISS CONTINUES-

-with a classic “Freeze that fucker’s wings off attack”(with assistance from Ruby and Qrow of course for shattering said wings)-and then Uncle and Niece-

-get they scythes in gear-

-AND THEY SLASH THAT BITCH IN TWO! AND.THIS.IS.JUST.THE.FIRST.EPISODE!

BUT-the beast lets out ONE last fireball knocking them off track and....EVERYONE IS OKAY-incluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuding-

-THIS LADY-whose name I’ve read is Maria Callavera! Turns out she WASN’T just a random side character, I couldn’t tell with how HEAVILY lampshaded it was!

AND THAT’S VOLUME 6 EP 1-a fantastic start to the season with AMAZING action and animation, and great story-progression. Minor criticism, I still feel they didn’t need to do a “Something hours earlier” thing with the train battle, they could’ve easily done the story in sequential order and it would have worked just as well if not better. BUT-I still loved it and I hope you did to. If you liked what you read, consider donating to my Paypal on my blog page, I’d appreciate it. SEE YA NEXT WEEK ON MICKSTERECAPS!

[alightwhendarknessfell]

1.) On the subject of the wall: the whole concept is fucked up. Trump and his supporters try to be like “We just wanna get rid of the illegals stealing out jobs!!!” (Even though it’s literally people just moving from one country to another) so they take billions of dollars we could be using to fix the shitty education and healthcare systems and use it because they’re mad about immigrants existing in the same fucking space as them

2.) And it’s not like Trump and his supporters even give a shit about every single immigrant supposedly coming in without documentation. You know exactly which ones they want to keep out seeing how they don’t seem to give a shit about the amount of people from Russia and other parts of Europe moving here but god forbid said immigration has brown skin, speaks Spanish, and comes from Mexico/Central/Latin America and gets the job the Trump supporter wanted

3.) All of a sudden they’re an “Illegal Alien stealing our jobs” and they need to be deported. All of a sudden putting children in cages, separating families, and tear gassing people is either justifiable or it didn’t even fucking happen according to these assholes. And now that the manchild in office isn’t getting his way he’s gonna throw a tantrum and withold payment from all these employees...

4.) All because of a fucking wall. What a fucking child. Sorry I got a bit angry here, I’m just so fucking sick of this whole “illegal immigration” bullshit. Trump and his supporters will go on about how America is the greatest country in the world but suddenly when Latinos wanna live here too it’s a problem. It’s ridiculous.

Reply: I fucking hate Trump. He’s fucking the country and everyday Americans over by keeping the government shut down over his racsit ass wall fantasy. Americans will not be getting their tax refunds on time, hundreds of thousands of federal employees aren’t getting paid and now we’re reaching a crisis where people aren’t getting their federal housing loans, FDA approval for life saving drugs, farmers aren’t getting information from the USDA for planting new crops and TSA employees aren’t coming to work or they’re quitting. This is a fucking shit show. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #196

“what separates man from beast? turn to your master.”

What's a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? 7th grade, however old that is. How many years older than you would you date someone? ~9, maybe 10. Depends on just how much I'm interested in the person. What was the last thing you pinky-swore on? *shrugs* Don't even recall the last time I did that. Would you consider yourself a nice person? I think I am. Are you a car kind of fella? No. I don't even know the names of the most basic models. Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? Not at all. There's like... two. Who’s the laziest person you know? Proooobably me. True or false: Glee is annoying. All musicals make me cringe. Would you make a good teacher? Why? Fuck no. I'm not dealing with 20+ kids, and I'm also way too awkward for that. Is the fan on? Actually no. I have a small heater in my room that turns on/off to regulate the temperature. Otherwise, my room is frigid this time of year. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No. Do you really believe in your ‘one true love’? I don't believe in that concept. There's billions of humans on this earth; you don't have just one that you'd be wonderfully compatible with. Do you worry more about other people’s happiness than your own? It depends. Have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?
 Yes, Jason and Juan until I picked between them definitively. You could also say Sara and Girt, but I'd come to learn my feelings weren't romantic towards Girt. Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea? Sure; if you're even considering someone other than your s/o, that says something anyway. It's a far better alternative to cheating. Is it possible to ‘fix’ a ‘broken’ relationship?
 Mixed emotions, idk. Would you ever throw out/give away something an ex gave you?
 I've thrown out stuff, but I haven't given anything away, though I'd probably be able to. If you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?
 No chance. Who is the first person you see in the mornings? Well, I live with only Mom. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year?
 In love, probably Jason. I consider someone being in love and just loving someone are of different intensities. Do you have a secret life?
 The RP site is unknown to just about anyone. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt?
 Yes, but she was just changing her shirt rq, and I didn't really look anyway out of respect. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you?
 No. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
 She's the same person lmao. Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
 Jelly. If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? At this very moment, probably my left daith. Do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking) Most obviously, I knead my hands and I'm fidgety. My eyes dart around, and I bite my lip a lot. Current favorite song? I've been hopping around between a lot lately. Maybe "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle. Do you know anyone famous? No. Do you own a Bible? No. Have you ever pierced your own body part or that of someone else? No. The last time you held a baby: Moooonths ago, like last summer when Colleen needed me to hold her son for whatever. The last form you filled out: Something for vocational rehab. The last time you stayed up past 12AM: Saturday night/Sunday to see the super blood wolf moon. It was incredible. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Well it's not like I'm ever doing anything noteworthy to remember quitting. The last video game you played: Some of The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon. The last time you were in a big city: Not since March '18. The last television show you watched: Avatar: The Last Airbender with Sara. I'm surprisingly really into it and can't wait to keep going ahhhhhhh. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. Do you wear socks to bed? No, I hate socks. How many Canadian provinces have you been to? None. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? N/A What is your first memory of being in a hospital? I have very faint memories of when I was a very little kid, my sisters and I played in the room where my mom and her three co-workers worked. I can't remember why we were ever there? All I know is we always wanted to go to the little gift shop to get candy lol. Does anyone in your life treat you badly? Are you allowing them to treat you that way? Or do you stand up for yourself? Not consistently. Have you ever cut someone out of your life because of how they treated you? Rather how she treated most of the human population. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? Idk, probably here, where I think it's $700-something. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Oh JEEZ. I think he was one of Ashley's co-worker's nephews or something like that?? I can't remember the exact connection, but it was complicated. What was your favorite home-cooked meal when you were a kid? Like, made from scratch? Um. I dunno. Nothing stands out. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? The laptop we're working on getting. Have you ever been to a wedding where the bride was a total bridezilla? No. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Almost never. Dad's were in Ohio, Mom's mother was in Florida (my grampa died when I was like, two), and here we are in NC. We couldn't afford to travel much. Have you ever had psoriasis? I don't think so? I do have super dry skin, but I don't think I've ever had scaly patches. How much of your time to do you spend being bored? What could cure that boredom? Almost every day past afternoon, really... and having shit to do that doesn't confine me to this house, or have Sara here. Do squeaky toys annoy you? Yes. Animals: love ‘em? Why or why not? I absolutely love them; they're our neighbors. It's amazing how creatures that can't speak can be so interesting. Is a solitary person necessarily an unlikable person? Um, no. Are you a picky eater? You have ABSOLUTELY no idea. If you play Sims, have you ever saved a Sim from death? I've played the animals one, in which case, yes, lol. Are you hopelessly addicted to the computer? Admittedly so. Almost everything I do is on there, and it's sad just how lost I am on what to do if I don't have WiFi or a gaming console. I've been this way since I was a pre-teen though, so it's not exactly something I think I can un-learn. Like I'm not one of those people who puts every opportunity behind sitting here on it at least, I'll happily jump up for something fun and/or interesting, but it's still my go-to thing to do. Do you prefer online or face-to-face communication? Why? Depends on the person and my mood, but more often than not, online because I'm a socially awkward abomination. What kinds of things do you watch on YouTube? Let's plays mostly, but also random shit from some people I'm subscribed to, beauty videos with Jeffree Star solely because I love that hoe and am there for his personality, uhhh other misc. things that make me laugh. If you’re offered a trip to either Hawaii or Alaska, which would you choose? Probably Alaska, esp. if it's a good season for the Northern Lights. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No. If you could have any job/talent, what? (regardless if can or not)? Hyperrealistic traditional artist or meerkat biologist. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? I wouldn't know. Does your mom eat meat? Yes. Was your dad ever in a sports team? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? I stroooongly prefer thick. Thin is just flaky and hard. Have you ever had an eerie/paranormal experience? What happened? A lot. The top two that scared me the most follow: 1.) I was home alone, very late in the night watching TV, and Teddy, who was glued to me, would not look away from the bottom of the bed and was barking and growling relentlessly. I even tried forcing his head to look away with how badly it was scaring me, but he absolutely would not let it. Me personally, I "felt" a strong and malevolent female presence just fucking staring at me, and I called my mom literally crying. I was so shaken up that at like 4:00 A.M. I think it was, she had to call our poor neighbor to sleep in the house with me. Safe to say, I did not sleep in my bed; I'm pretty sure I didn't for a good few days. 2.) I was outside one night, walking with my iPod as I did most nights. I suddenly stopped dead when I saw this white, transparent thing walk very fluidly out of the woods of my backyard and just vanish. It was fucking crazy because it felt like time had slowed, and I remember perfectly it looked like a bipedal creature walking on all fours instead, but it was not a fucking human or animal. It reminded me of some Rake depictions (which I don't really believe in), but not precisely. My entire body absolutely chilled, and I was like a deer in headlights for many seconds, but after that, I have never run faster than I did going back inside. I immediately told my mom, freaking the hell out, but who knows if she believed I actually saw something. I didn't do nighttime walks for I think around a week, and for a loooong time, I'd altered my path so I couldn't see the spot it had appeared, and I over my dead body would ever go to the clearing at night. I also either saw a star do some weird-ass shit over the course of a week or so, or it was some UFO doing something okay only facts here. All three of these things happened at our old house, sooo glad that is no longer home lmao. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. How many people of the same name as you have you ever met? Oh jeez, plenty. How often do you see your best friend? Our history so far has been every ~2-3 months. Do you like incense or does it give you headaches? I love that shit oml. Do you prefer to watch or attempt? Depends? Do you shout when you’re upset? Occasionally. Where was the last place you ate, except from home? I believe Wendy's. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid? Play Spyro or make-believe with my favorite toys. Do you take any vitamins? Which ones? Yes, for vitamin D, as my deficient of it beforehand was absolutely abysmal, and it was probably the cause of my knees wanting me dead. Have you ever lost something really precious to someone else? Maybe? Who makes you feel small/inferior? It's entirely unintentional, but my psychiatrist, ha ha. He is a fucking genius with incredible knowledge of like... everything. Are you protective of your family? Well yeah. I'm especially protective of my younger sister, but not like, incredibly. What size ring are you? Idr. What’s something you regret buying, but you just can’t get rid of it? Sad as it is to say, my rat Mitsu. She's nervous of being held, yet she always jumps up onto the cage's bars when I'm passing and enjoys me petting her through them, but that's all I can do, and I feel awful. Her claws also reeeaaally irritate my skin (maybe from the bedding, idk), but getting rid of a pet rat isn't exactly easy, especially with the fear of her being bought merely as food. What villain do you believe is most worthy of a redemption arc? Is Harley Quinn still even a villain??? What was your favorite school project you ever made? Idr. What role do you take on when you have to do a group project? (for example: leader, delegator, slacker, etc.) The meticulous writer/taking the notes. What’s a funny mistake you’ve made recently? Oh boy, how is nothing coming to me among certainly a million options in the back of my mind??? OH WAIT. I was texting Sara and mentioned I was watching Shane Dawson, but it autocorrected to "Shame," and I was like, "still accurate." What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? My mom's long past that age. And my parents are divorced. How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you? One of my long-time Internet buds, off the top of my head. What is always in your wallet that doesn’t need to be? HAHA. One time in high school, me a few friends got together to just wander the mall. We went into a tux store and got a card there for literally no reason, but it's still in my wallet for memory's sake. What is a strange red flag you have when pursuing a relationship? Excessive and/or raunchy flirting. If a single thing you say fits the latter, you're fucking out. How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about? Probably a decent number. What do you NOT want on your tombstone? Don't mention shit about God or Jesus or whatever. How many couches do you want in your residence? One long one or two average ones for the sake of accommodating company. What is the strangest website you have bookmarked? Nothing strange. What is your typical number of windows/tabs open on your computer? Ha, usually 4-5 tabs. Sometimes more, sometimes just two or three. Do you follow the expiration date on food? Like, religiously. What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child? "Magnus" is the first that came to me. What fish scares you the most? Probably stonefish. Hard to spot 'em, venomous as hell, enough to sometimes kill. How do you feel about snails? In almost all cases, they gross me out. Just not as much as slugs. I hate slimy things. How often do you think about what guys will think of you? The older I get, the less I give a fuck what one thinks, at least about how I look. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? I can't skip mine. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? Idr. Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Oh, I'm sure. I'd have to think. If you are a part of a certain fandom or are a fan of a popular series/musician, is there a rivalry between your fandom and another one (e.g., Lady Gaga fans vs. Katy Perry fans or Marvel vs. DC)? The Silent Hill and Resident Evil franchises are often compared, but I haven't seen much "rivalry." There are some people who pit Markiplier and JackSepticEye against each other with them being close in subs, but it's wonderful that I usually see only great bonding between the two fandoms instead, and they usually overlap with fans. Metallica is constantly shit on by Slayer fans. There's more, I'm sure, but I don't feel like digging deep into the thousand fandoms I'm in lmao. Do you ever have smell hallucinations? Don't think so. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? Honestly? I'd be fucking ecstatic. I'll probably never have hetero sex ever again, but rapists always worry me. I don't at all want kids. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Man, I don't know. I would say my college, but I didn't really have a choice in my decrepit mental state, and fuck that school from a trillion different angles anyway. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? Just with hugs. I'm not a platonic cuddler/kisser/hand-holder. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? My cousin is an incredible artist, but I don't believe I've seen her work in years. When it comes to relationships/crushes, are you more often the pursued or the pursuer? Pursued, I guess. Do you ever find yourself making negative comments about other people’s appearances, whether it’s people you dislike or even just people on tv? I generally keep comments to myself. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? There is this pointless dolphin in the corner of our backyard?????????? Why????????????? Who made you???????????????? Have you ever made a summer bucket list? No. Have you ever stayed in a hotel suite? No. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) Plain or chocolate chip, 'pending on the mood. Have you ever been to a night club? No. What was the last thing to make you sad? A picture on Facebook of some dick posing beside an elephant he killed at a watering hole. It was in an anti-trophy group or something like that. Do you kill spiders when you see them? If it's in my house and not tiny, unless it's too close to me. Are you allergic to any animals? Which ones? No. Does it bother you when people play with your hair? It would if it was anyone but my s/o or maybe my mom, but even from her, that might feel weird. What is your favorite movie series? SHREK, BITCH. I haven't seen the fourth one though and I am legitimately mad. Not sayin' it for the meme, I legit love Shrek okay. Did your parents get married before or after you were born? I actually found out recently it was after I was born. True/False: You’ve had an odd dream this week. It's weird, I've actually been briefly recalling them lately... but not for long. I believe I have, though. Who was the last person to let you down? Mom, probably. Can you dry swallow pills? I'm capable with small capsule ones, but I don't. What was the last thing you ordered online? Sara's Christmas present. Are you happy with your relationship with God, or do you want more from it? I have no relationship with him, if you're addressing the "God" I'm assuming you do. Even with the entity I believe in, I don't really see us as having a "relationship" in this life. They're just my silent judge that sees me according to how I deserve. Is your spirit made for adventure? Eh. Yes and no. Have you ever been rejected by a church? No.

[quakerjoe]

A Cuppa Joe for 3 January 2019

 Regarding Patriotism

 Patriotism. What the fuck IS that exactly? I used to think it stemmed from the nation’s actual motto “E Pluribus Unum” meaning “From Many, One” where we all stand together, united, as one people, Americans, and look out for one another. That was a hard delusion to wake up from. While such a thing is possible if we so desire it, it isn’t going to happen evidently. Seriously, think about this for a moment. Who do you see the most out here going on about “patriotism” today? Angry white dudes. I don’t see African Americans out there blowing the “Look at me, asshole! I’m a PATRIOT!” horns loudly, nor anyone from the LGBTQ community or from any minority such as our Islamic/Arabic neighbors who came here to get away from all the radical, violent religious bullshit and just want to pray in peace. Angry. White. Dudes. All pining for a “Christian Nation” while acting exactly the opposite to the teachings of Christ. They clean their guns and play circle-jerk warrior in the woods with their limp-dick friends because they’re too much of a sad sack to actually JOIN the military and SERVE. THAT would be Patriotism.

Then again, is serving in the military really being patriotic anymore? I was proud when I served, but looking back on it, WHO was I really serving? Was I truly protecting the US from some threat? Not really. We’re on the other side of the planet, far away from any direct threat. Two massive oceans divide us from any other military that may want to harm us. Then again, WHY would any other military even WANT to harm us? Could it have something to do with the way this nation invades other nations to topple their elected governments and establish banana republics in order to get what “we” want from them? By “we”, I of course don’t mean that you or I give a shit what the price of bananas is. Oil, on the other hand… We all care about oil prices because we’re constantly being blocked from developing and using green power sources so that the rich twats in Big Fossil Fuels can get even richer. They spend thousands on buying elected officials here who band together and pass a tax break law that gives those rich twats savings in the millions and even billions.

But do Central and South American nations have a mobile force to invade us? Fuck no. What about Persian nations that we and other European nations carved up for oil field access, ignoring the territories if Sunni and Shiite, creating nations that have all sort of in-fighting between the two peoples? That’s on us, kids. Still, they don’t have a military worth a damn that can cross the oceans and get to us. So is being over THERE being “patriotic” and really defending our freedom? Fuck no. So WHO are we serving? Rich. White. Dudes. Period. Are THEY “patriotic”? They bribe the government to use military force in nations that they want something from, like oil, or poppy fields for Big Pharma, and they USE us as cheap mercenaries; cannon fodder to secure their FINANCIAL interests, and the thanks veterans get when they get home is shit wages, their families on some sort of financial assistance, and when they need medical or mental health, we practically ignore them and then wonder why the suicide rate for returning vets is so high. Fewer mouths for Uncle Sam to feed, right? Meanwhile, the rich, white dudes don’t ever have to look at them or deal with them and even though the blood is on their hands from war, they weren’t the ones sent in to do the killing. THEY don’t have to deal with the consequences; they just cash in and get rich. No guilt. No empathy. No PTSD. Nada. Just loads of cash. Meanwhile, we use up our munitions and equipment and keep the War Machine and major contractors super-financed in contracts that aren’t bid for anymore. That doesn’t sound at all patriotic to me, but there’s something you need to understand.

YOU are not a person, you’re a component. You’re something to exploit and rob. When people in government today see “We the People” they automatically see that as “We the Rich Fuckers” and the rest of us are the plebes; the livestock that generates money for them and we don’t matter to them. If we did, we’d have had free healthcare coverage and education decades ago, and it’d also be the best on the planet and there’d be a sense of pride in being an American from the richest down to the poorest because we’d be at our healthiest and our smartest. Instead, we revel in our arrogance, our ignorance, and our stupidity. We roll in a puddle of hubris and it seems that most “patriots” don’t even know what that word means. THAT, dear Joes, is the new definition of “patriotism” among the ‘plebe class’, and just like in days of Olde, when the Constitution was first drafted, “People” meant the wealthy class who owned land and property and were the only ones who voted. They got the good food, the good medicine, and the good education while you got little to none of any of it and you’d have been working since the day you could walk and talk at the same time until the day you dropped dead. That’s what MAGA is all about, only trumplefuckstick’s supporters are poor, stupid fucks who must believe that they’re really millionaires who are temporarily inconvenienced at the moment and that they’ll be rich soon with 45 at the helm.

Their idea of “patriotism” is to literally shit on everyone here that isn’t of their ilk- ignorant-as-fuck white, cist-gendered, white, “Christian” MEN or their brainwashed, sidekick women who dine on hate as well. They’re praying for the End of Days one moment, while hoping that just before that happens they get an opportunity to hunt down and murder Obama or HRC or just go on an all-out “nigger hunt” or a chance to do-in the “towelheads” living here. They’re praying for a chance to slaughter anyone LGBTQ because the bible calls them an abomination to be destroyed. They give me the impression that they watch “The Handmaiden’s Tale” and jerk off to it because using women as breeding stock and enslaving them and killing the “uppity ones” is a dirty, wet dream of theirs, and they call it “patriotic”.

So someone out there, please remind me what it truly means to be a Patriot of the United  States of America. As far as I can see, we went from aspirations towards “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country” to “I got mine; fuck the rest of y’all! Bootstraps, fucker! Pull yourself up or just die ‘cause I’m not going to help you. I had to work hard to get what I’ve got. Get a job!” Instead of looking UP at the rich and powerful shitting on us, too many of us are looking down at those less fortunate than those wielding the “White Privilege” card and blaming the POOR for all their woes as they look down their noses at them and continue to let the shit roll downhill instead of reaching down to help someone up. It’s a disgrace. It’s the OPPOSITE of being patriotic. It’s the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what I was taught it meant to be an actual Christian and frankly, the level of hypocrisy from the religious people here is sickening, insulting, and fucking INSANE. 

I tire of so-called “Christians” showing up here telling me that they’re not ALL bad. Well, they ARE. If you’re watching evil transpire before you and you do NOTHING, you’re guilty of that evil too, and frankly I am still waiting for some sort of allied Christian movement to get together enough to call out the ‘false prophets’ getting rich in this country and getting behind, en masse, to see to it we get Universal Healthcare for ALL, a bolstered safety net program that includes “food stamps”, the promotion of medicines and science because if there is a god, we were blessed with senses that should be trying to study how He/She/It made the universe and how to make the world a healthier, safer place of PEACE, not a nation with a bloated military budget that can’t even pass muster when audited while people here in our own country are going hungry and homeless because “fuck you, you peasant, that’s why”. If your idea of being a “Christian” is ignoring the bible and praying at home, in private and you insist on going to a tax have to pray (yes, church) then you’d better be DOING something to fight against the evils sweeping the nation and against the tenants of Jesus. Evangelicals, or Talibangelists as I call them, are on the move. Where the fuck are YOU? Yeah, hanging around your community trying to do “good deeds” is sweet and all, but wouldn’t it fight hunger and poverty MORE, in line with Christ’s teachings, if you got off your ass and rallied AGAINST the Talibangelists and called them out on their bullshit? Where’s your presence in the REAL clear and present danger here? Where is YOUR voice when it comes to defeating the false prophets we’ve been warned repeatedly about?

>Matthew 7:15 clearly states “Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are raving wolves.” Perhaps you “Christians” should STOP ELECTING THEM! Forwarding and backing known pedophiles and sex offenders doesn’t sound too Christian OR patriotic to me.

>Matthew 24:11 Jesus says “and many false prophets will appear and lead many astray.” Sounds like the brainless twats on FOX and trumplefuckstick lying to the masses who slop back the shit like it is gravy and not the feces that it is.

>Matthew 24:24 says “For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.”

>Second Peter 2:1-3 “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.” 

>First John 4:1 “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” So forgive my skepticism of all you alleged “Christians”, but I’ll believe in you when you SHOW me that you’re not all talk and no ACTION. 

> Jeremiah 23:16 Tell me this one doesn’t apply to suckers who vote GOP and Corporate Democrat as well as those fuckwits who go to mega-churches to throw away their money and their souls: “This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.” 

> Ezekiel 13:9 “My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and who give lying divinations. They shall not be in the council of my people, nor be enrolled in the register of the house of Israel, nor shall they enter the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the Lord God.” We have truly FAILED as a nation at this one, kids. So quit with all the religious preaching on my page. If you haven’t sold all you own and have given it all to the poor, then I’m not going to take you seriously. (Matthew 19:21 and Luke 18:22). 

From what my parents and grandparents taught me, part of being a Patriot was to confront evil and help those in need, and honestly, I’m not seeing it from the “Christian” community, only their hubris and vanity and a defensive sense of pride compounded with an extremist element here that uses the Bible as license to commit all manner of atrocities against their fellow countrymen/women etc. even though we were WARNED about this sort of fuckery- “because they are turning whole families away from the truth by their false teaching. And they do it only for money” (Titus 1:11) AND “Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.” (1 Timothy 6:5).

If you haven’t noticed, we are HERE: 

> 2nd Tim 4:3-4 “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” So let’s just pull this sanctimonious bus off to the side of the pretentiousness highway and cut the shit with your religious ramblings and let’s focus on saving the world and figuring out what it truly means to be “patriotic”, shall we? We SHOULD be looking out for one another REGARDLESS of religious beliefs.

Having said all that, Dear Joes, tell me this- how do YOU define “Patriotism” today?

[earlylifediggysimmonsff]

1.

Daniel

“Bruh you know you just became the second richest man in the world. Literally... at 22. The youngest Billionaire and the Blackest”

Justin, literally my homeboy since kindergarten. Sitting on the side of the pool with a drink in my hand. Life was good, It is continuously good. Thanks to my father’s inheritance, my mother, and my skill at being really good at keeping and saving money, I’ve extended my money to the next degree. I was at first worth only $198 Billion. Now I’m at $250 Billion

I found out my pops was a fucking Billionaire. I was his bastard child. Had when he cheated on his wife. All these years I thought he just didn’t give a fuck about me. But he wrote letter for me every year and had them put aside. He passed 2 years ago and left me everything. His $198 billion company and all of his ALL his billions to me. ME. A poor ass kid from The BX. I’m 22 and a Billionaire. He had 5 kids total and a wife and left it to me.

The money ain’t changed me though, Just made me smarter. My circle got smaller, my time is a bit busier, and I’ve invested in a fleet of jets and yachts. I mine as well give the run down of what I due. What I own and who Daniel Bailon is. 

I am the CEO Of previous Toussaint Incorporation, It’s now Bailon Incorporation. I was also grated the right to change the name. We invests in and holds dozens of major public and private companies. As part of our portfolio, my company also owns and operates several self-titled companies, including Bailon Home Services of America and Bailon Direct Insurance Company.

But apart from our branded companies, Bailon does a bit more than provide insurance. In 2017, Bailon companies and holdings contribute a variety of commodities and services to the market - including producing computers and electronic products, providing insurance, producing clothing, serving food products, automotive products and services and much more. Although Toussaint Inc. originally started out primarily in the textile industry, I’ve grown to make it become a conglomerate that invests in a diverse group of major companies and provides the prime example of my famous value investing strategy.  

I have 100% ownership in multimillion and billion dollar companies. And not all of them are the same. I’ll name a few. For starters, Billups Brick Company, it’s construction, I own it 100%. AlterLinks, Electric Transmission, I own it 100%, and it’s also a  subsidiary of Bailon Energy. I mean the list is long, jewelry, auto sales, utilities, Insurance, Bond Insurance, Media,  Logistics, Food and Beverage, Pipeline, Clothing, Luxury, Jets, Furniture, Sports Equipment,  Pharmaceuticals, Materials and Construction, as I said before the list exceeds my age of life. Plus more.

I’m blessed. I bought my mother a house, she’s well off even though she’s always been her own hustler. The lavish life is the shit, I’ll admit. But a nigga has had his fair share of lame females and one night stands, so much so that I’m ready to settle down. Just hanging with the niggas gets bored. I want a wife, a daughter or a son. Mostly a daughter though.

“We gotta go out nigga. Celebrate, I’m proud of you”

“I ain’t been out in a hot minute man”

He shrugged.

“Neither have I. Crystal’s friend is having a birthday dinner and small get together. Slide through. Plenty of food, drinks and just a good vibe bruh. And I know you like being lowkey so, it’s the perfect atmosphere”

I exhaled and shrugged. I needed it.

“Iight man.. fine”

Mia

“You know you could use a night out. Like what the fuck come on. Shit”

I smacked my teeth at my closest friend, more like my sister badgered me about attending her birthday dinner. I walked to the sink placing the now empty glass into it then turned around with my arms folded. I wanted to, I really did, but I had no sitter for Gianna. The perks of being a single mother right.

“I want to babe, but I have no sitte-”

“Alright then ask the family. Shit there’s a lot of them girl. Come on. We’re sisters. You can’t miss this, I’ll be sick”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. I could ask her brother. He’s always down to see his niece. 

“And besides....you need a night out. When’s the last time you had some dick. Seen some dick, or like even tasted or touched that shit”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. It was true, very true that I haven’t been.

I haven’t been sexual so long. I really haven’t wanted to engage with anybody. I just so focused on perfecting my craft, loving my daughter, bettering our lives and teaching her to be a woman, nothing else has mattered.

It’s been just her and I, and I’m trynna make her proud. Currently I’m a party planner. I have my own business and have done plenty parties, From Lebron James Kids, to DJ Khaled Son. I work hard. And I’m just trying to continue to elevate and grow. 

“So bitch, go get dressed. And I’ll drop Gigi off to Zo.... Go.... it’s not a option. We getting lit tonight”

[the-spectacular-spider-bi]

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR "PREY". IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED, DO. NOT. READ. (this means you Dalis!)

So that ending was pretty fucking nuts amirite?!? I half called it too. I was pretty sure it was all a simulation, but I had no idea how HUGE of a concept it really was. The opening hour’s reveal of the apartment sim just screamed foreshadowing, I knew they weren’t gonna only do that once. But see, there are some questions needing answers, One big question in particular I haven’t seen anybody ask: So what REALLY happened on Talos 1? If what we played was a sim based on the real Morgan’s memories, then what actually happened during that time? What choices did the real Morgan make? Why were Mikhayla, Igwe, Danielle, and Elazaar all Operators at the end?? And why is Morgan not around anymore??? Well, I’ll lay down everything I know, and put together the pieces that fit, few as they may be. If you’ve played this game too (you better have, if your reading this) then please, I invite you to add to this, poke holes in any theory you see that doesn’t hold up, lets all figure this wierd ass game out together!

1. Alex Yu

So, he’s alive and well at the end, the Real end, I mean. meaning, during the Actual Talos 1 incident, Morgan did not choose to kill his brother. Which also rules out the Destroy ending, as it dooms Alex to the station’s fate. So, if the human-typhon creature were to do a perfect recreation of Morgan Yu’s choices during that ordeal, it would get a conclusion that involves the Nullwave device, Alex surviving, and January dying. (It seems like Alex always kills January unless you intervene in that particular ending) So, canonically, Alex Yu survived the Talos 1 incident, January most likely died, either by Alex or Morgan’s hands, and Talos 1 was not destroyed. The Looking Glass simulation the Typhon-human hybrid finds itself in however, allows for different outcomes, as a way to test it’s mirror neurons, which brings me to my next theory…

2. This whole game was a personality test.

Its actually super meta when you think about it. At the start, they give you a literal personality test, they ASK you questions. Push the fat man? Derail the train? Vacation somewhere new? Its all relevant to what your going to be doing later in the actual story. That’s the part where you give your REAL answers by your actions. I’m sure we all at first picked options like “Try something new for vacation, save the most people on the tracks,” etc. But when we actually played the game, our true answers were much different. “Go somewhere new for vacation?” = How open are you to trying new things? Most would pick “New”, instead of familiar, yet those same people likely used more Human based Neoromods than Typhon based ones. Our choice in playstyle reflects our true answer to that question. I played my first run like I was playing Doom, the run and gun shooter style was more comfortable for me. My true answer, as proven by my playstyle, was “Do something familiar” The train tracks question is basically about the needs of the many verses the needs of the few, and I’d also wager that most of us, at the beginning chose the needs of the many. Yet in our actual playthrough… Consider this, The Many = the billions of people on Earth we are trying to keep the Typhon away from. The Few = the hundreds of people on Talos 1 who are suffering and fighting for there lives. Who did you help more? If you bothered helping a single person on Talos 1, you put the needs of the few higher. Because by helping them survive and have better chances at escape, you endangered Earth. I answered “Switch the tracks so the five people tied down are saved” to that question at the beginning, AKA the needs of the many. Yet in my playthrough, I helped every last person on that station. I saved Dr. Igwe, I spared Dhal, I helped Elazaars people at every chance, I avenged Abigail’s murder. I even told Mikhayla the truth about her father, and we ALL escaped the station alive. I put their well being above everyone on Earth. You know why thats fascinating? Because thats exactly how most people respond to that question… Do you switch the tracks and let one person die? Or do nothing, and five people die. EVERYBODY says they’ll save the five people, they say that. We said that, at the beginning of the game. But when we we faced with that decision again, we chose to save the one person, the people of Talos 1 instead. Our true answer was revealed. (Unless of course you were just an asshole when you played lol) This gets meta when you realize that not only is this a personality test for you, the player, but also for the Typhon-Human hybrid you’ve been playing as this whole time. Its already cool as is, but it actually fits the game even better when its revealed to be the WHOLE POINT of the simulation! Not to test your skills, aim, power, but your morality! They used Morgan’s DNA and whatnot and put it into a Tuphon creature via Neuromods and used this sim to test the results. “We spent years putting what you could do into us, it never occurred to us to put what we can do into you.” And what can we humans do that the Typhon can’t? Empathize. Feel the pain of another. Alex makes a point to tell you during a call in the story about how they discovered that the Typhon don’t have mirror neurons, they don’t feel when they kill. They don’t see us. Not the way we can see each other. The Igwe Operator comments about how well your mirror neurons are doing, if you were a monster and let people die, you fail, if you helped people, you pass, meaning the personality sim results show that you are the true bridge between the species, a Typhon that can see us, really SEE us.

3. Why were the supporting characters all turned into Operators at the very end???

Ok. this one… I dunno. Its a big mystery for me. We can infer that Morgan and friends survived and escaped. The destroy ending didn’t happen, as shown by Alex’s appearance. So, why are they all Operators? So they didn’t die aboard Talos 1. I doubt real Morgan killed them or let them die, cuz if your trying to convert a Typhon into a human empathizer, you don’t use the mirror neurons of an asshole who let you die. So, something must’ve happened AFTER the escape. So, lets arrange our pieces.

Alex is alive. Morgan and friends likely escaped. The station was not destroyed. Earth was invaded. (Likely due to the real Morgan not destroying the station and purging all trace of the Typhon, even going as far as to kill everyone. YOU can do that scenario, but the real Morgan did not, apperantly) Morgan and friends escape. Morgan Yu somehow died afterwards. Morgan’s friends died? Morgan’s friends lived on as Operators (Why was Danielle Sho there? She didnt escape?) Alex and Operators use Morgan’s mirror neurons, and a Looking Glass simulation (a much more grand scale illusion, compared to the apartment sim) to test the personality and empathy of the Typhon-Human hybrid. Ok it’s mostly a clear picture now. Pretty easy to deduce how Earth ended up like that. But everybody being Operators is strange… They all used the full names too. When Morgan’s Operators (even tho they had his voice) used month names, January, December, October. So why are those Operators using the full names of those people, and speaking as if they ARE those people???

4. Morgan’s Operators are his shifting personality.

The names January, December, and October are not random. There is a reason for that. A side effect of the extensive Neuromod testing and the apartment sim was a slight but visible personality drift. The longer they kept Morgan in that endless loop, the more he started to change. Something about having alien DNA shot into your brain, and pulled out at the end of the day, rinse, repeat, every day, for weeks, does things to you. In Morgan’s case it made him paranoid, distrustful. It made him fear Alex’s motives, and come up with a plan. Scratch that. Multiple plans. December was intended to be Morgan’s escape plan. He was the earlier model to January, as evidenced by his more robotic and stuttery voice. That Morgan was more fixated on escaping the sim, and the station. However, a couple months later, after some time out of the apartment sim, Morgan, now in a deeper drift in personality, changes his mind, he decides escape isn’t good enough, he must destroy it all, even himself. So he creates January, a newer model with a smoother vocalization, new directives that adapt on the fly, and the order to destroy December before he gives Morgan the option of escaping before destroying the station. The two operators with Morgan’s voice represent his constantly shifting personality and frame of mind during certain points leading up to the events of the game. He even named them after the month he created them in.

Well those are all the big things that came to mind. I still have more questions and I’d love to hear more people weigh in, with either their own questions, theories, and answers! What happened to Danielle Cho? Did she actually escape too? Who was the cook?? What happened to Morgan Yu after the escape??? Till they make a sequel it’s up to us to figure it all out!