#like when he throws him into the outer god - instead of happily letting him go like in their first meeting

[lizajane2]

Outer Banks 2x08

"Shouldn't you be on Figure 8 with your little group of pollo players? Or did you break up with Topper?" John B there are times when I love you the most and this is one of those moments.

JJ: "If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well."

Everyone:

I love how they're all taken back by the fact that he actually knows something and pay's attention to something. JJ makes rash decisions but he's smart, and the writers should display that more often.

JJ saying "princess" and "that's my girl" all in one episode... the writers shouldn't be playing like that. That's dirty, unfair game they're playing.

And then he tries to provoke a sleeping gator... LMFAO!

Does anyone else like it when none of the pogues are dating each other? Like as much as I love John B and Sarah together, it feels like things just meld so well and there's not a lot of drama going on.

Like do Kiara's parents even care where she is right now? What she's doing? They're just happily eating lunch together and not giving a shit. Even if my mom kicked me out, she'd be wondering where the fuck I'm at and if I have roof over my head.

Fucking Luke... this man accesses a part of me that I don't display very often. Rage. Especially when JJ struggles to break free but Luke just tightens his grip even further. And the way I wanna throw hands with this man when he blames JJ for the reason he was in jail.

Okay, I've seen edits of this scene where JJ grabs Kie by the shoulders and I thought it was due to something romantic... nope. Such high hopes. The only reason there is any tension here is because he's pissed, afraid, and desperate to get rid of his dad for once even though it's hurting him. And Kiara doesn't wanna help which I don't blame her, but he doesn't wanna do it alone and he just needs her. Like there's more tension coming from JJ than from her, she was just annoyed.

"Get in the truck." Hello... you don't gotta tell me twice.

Then you have the scene in the truck where she tells Luke how much of a piece of shit he is and the way she talks about JJ. How special he is, how she defends him and even elbows Luke in his face when he starts talking shit, God that was so satisfying to me. It should've broken his nose. That is the moment that I saw the potential of something more going on between them. I love that moment more than their kiss scene.

"He's a thief is what he is." THIS MOTHERFUCKER REALLY NEEDS TO GET OFF MY SCREEN.

"Everything, hmm. Everything I have, you freaking ruin."

"I don't try to. Just happens naturally."

Nothing worse than a parent who is aware of the wrong they've done to you physically and emotionally and doesn't do a goddamn thing to change or make amends. They just continue the behavior because they're that fucking self-centered. See instead of staying, finishing out his sentence and making the choice of becoming a better dad, Luke just fucking takes off. And that is worse than any beating. Because now both of his parents are just gone. I've been abandoned by one, I can't imagine both leaving me behind. That half assed apology, was just him making himself feel better about his choice.

"I wasn't drowning my sister..." Weren't you just the one apologizing to her for... well, okay, Rafe, you held her down under water, what else would you call it? Freediving?

Okay, Pope it's not like it was a happy reunion...

I know JJ isn't much of a hugger but let me just hold the poor boy. He deserves a good hug that just absorbs everything he's feeling. Without John B and the Pogues he'd be so lost.

That cross is fucking huge.

[everyyoojoonghyuk]

Spoilers for orv. Idk up to where cause I can't remember just don't continue if you haven't finished the novel

Anyway another day another thinking about YJH and how S O F T he is

Especially how 999th regression YJH fits into it

He basically did everything like how KDJ did, except without all the cheats that KDJ was able to nab and literally lost whole parts of his body and couldn't even reach the end himself because he made sure his companions could instead

And it's not like he even particularly tried to reach the end himself that run, it was more of a throwaway. A big whoop-dee-doo for living 1000 lives. Every other life he was selfish and cruel and violent (especially as he goes through more and more regressions). The goal here was to get to the end no matter what - which included seeing his friends die constantly

Despite that, we know that he genuinely cares for the companions that he makes throughout the regressions, he just gets more and more hurt seeing them die and subsequently cheer him on life after life that he detaches himself as much as possible to avoid the hurt. It's like getting a wound over a scar over and over - eventually the re-scarred tissue becomes very tough and unable to move much

I mean. It's a testament on how much he cared for them that he gave up an entire regression just to see them succeed. Even being 1000 lives in, he continued to care for them

And the 999th YJH that we see is the kkoma version. And he's just. So nice. He takes care of KDJ, makes sure he's fed with things he likes, protects him from the outer gods, gives him his coat, goes with him on his journey, and even teaches him how to make murim dumplings! Of course, he's still YJH, being blunt and sorta deadpanned all the time, but the rest of his personality stands out so much because of its uniqueness

But is it really so unique? Again, he's still a part of YJH. This isn't out of the ordinary for YJH wholely, it's just that the guy distanced himself because he knows that no matter what, either his companions will die and he will reach the end, or he will die so they can reach the end, so he doesn't show those parts of himself often. We can see it a LOT more in the regression that KDJ shows up in though because of how much he helps and how he takes the lead in taking care of their companions. He even goes full dad mode on the grill when they go on vacation which is adorable

And not to make everything about joondok but KDJ truly does bring out the softness in him. And that's true for every YJH that meets him. 999 is very nice to him, 666 is tsundere but still helps, 81 (I think) cooks for him, Secretive Plotter, although through kidnapping, still wants him to learn the truth ("and if he can't then ig he should stay here with me UwU 🥺" like we get it buddy this is a small foreshadow to how you will cherish Oldest Dream and spend the rest of your existence caring for him, every YJH loves every KDJ and vice versa WE GET IT) and let's him leave, 1863 YJH is ridiculously soft for KDJ after he learns of his journey thus far and literally dies for him after knowing him for I think 3 days. Of course the top contenders for "I AM SOFT FOR KDJ" is 0th regression and 1864th regression YJH

Like. "If I regress will I ever be able to see you again?" He literally had his happily ever after and choOSE TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO MEET KIM DOKJA INSTEAD. He KNEW what was in store for him but he didn't care!!!!!!! He loves him too much to care!!!!! Though honestly I don't think it was a romantic love at that point or he wouldn't have gotten with Seolhwa because he is a very genuine guy and wouldn't get with someone he wasn't in love with. I think there was a different love though. The best friend kind. The kind that can only come from someone who was by your side no matter what. Yoo Joonghyuk loved that the Demon King of Salvation adored his story and wanted to end the guy's solitude no matter what

Which brings me to 1864 YJH!!!! AKA the one we all know nearest and dearest

It does not take long for YJH to get attacked to KDJ once they finally meet (again). He is so different that by the 6th scenario, when he's fighting adult SYS, she notes that he is acting strange. KDJ himself notes several times during the entirety of ORV that his actions are "unlike him." And almost - if not entirely - every time this is mentioned, it has something to do with how well he treats KDJ

One of my favourite, yet overlooked, aspects of YJH bring soft for KDJ is that he is the only person he will eat food from. He usually only eats meals that he prepares himself because he's stuck up about cooking, but but KDJ! It doesn't happen often, but several times he eats what KDJ makes, including murim dumplings that were made so well he forgot to be stuck up

I'm rambling by now, but my point is that KDJ brings out the best in YJH and the latter is so deeply in love so early on that it's embarrassing and shows to literally everyone everywhere to the point that many people think that they're an item

[julesclues]

hi boooo! You’re legit my favorite author on here! I love your writing so much 💕 was wondering if you could do one: outer banks JJ getting so drunk at a party and throwing up at the party and getting sick all over JB car going back to the chateau with all the pogues. And like reader (not Girlfriend yet) taking care of him please 🥺 thank you so much!!!! 😍😍😍 I know you’re busy so like take you’re time and if you don’t want to it’s fine too 💕💕

Drunken Confessions

Warnings: excessive and underage drinking, cursing

Pairing: jj maybank x reader

Word count: 2.48k

Summary: JJ drinks a littleee too much at a party, which makes the reader worried about him. So being the great person she is, she decides to take care of him.

a/n: thank you for the kind words in your request! It really means a lot! <3

3 things JJ Maybank loves most in this world: sex, surfing, and booze. Emphasis on the booze because once he started, it was almost impossible to stop him which, was currently the situation at the party you were all at.

It was a normal party, one mixed with tourons and pouges. But a normal party for JJ obviously meant drinking. You always worried about him when he would over do it like he is now. Though you were all used to the underage drinking, it was kind of hard to remember that it still is, technically, illegal.

The music was almost too loud. You could barely hear your friends as they each took turns telling stories about their most embarrassing moment. “Mine’s gotta be in 3rd grade when I was in the talent show for dancing and wound up twirling off stage,” Kie exclaimed, making all of you laugh. Pope went next and then John B and as you went around the circle, you realized JJ was no where to be found. You stood up in worry and searched the party for his unique clothing style and beautiful set of hair. “Where is he?” You ask, making John B tilt his head. “Who?” You roll your eyes and look at him. “Your best friend?” You ask with a laugh. Before John B could answer though, you all heard some yelling in the distance. Turning your head to the sound, your question was answered.

There was JJ. Standing on top of a table. Chugging beer after beer, almost as if he was putting on a show for the cheering audience under him. They were all applauding him as he downed the substance, some of it pouring down his chest, turning his dark blue tee into black. You groaned in annoyance as you and the other pouges ran up to him. You pushed through the crowd and made your way to the front, giving you the perfect view of JJ’s drunken state. You sigh and stick your hand out to him. “JJ!” You yell, but he still continued to pour the drinks down his throat. “Maybank! Hey! Let’s go!” You attempt again, but it’s no use. So, you climb up on the table with him, earning even more cheers from the people below. Maybe they thought you were going to join him.

He finally turns to you and his eyes light up. “Y/n!” He exclaims happily. As much as you loved JJ, in this moment, you were pretty upset. All you wanted was for him to just take care of himself so he wouldn’t do stupid shit like this. “Let’s go J,” you whisper only loud enough for him to hear. You reach out to him but he dodges your touch. “No!” He yells, scanning the people below. “Please J. Come on. Please let’s go home,” you plead, making JJ turn toward you. This time, his eyes were soft and warm, almost as if he had turned sober for a quick moment. “Ugh, fine,” he groans, but secretly doesn’t mind the feeling of your finger tips guiding him off the table and back to the pouges. You ignored the boo’s you heard from the others, but they soon forgot about it. To you, they weren’t worth JJ’s time.

“He’s shit faced,” you state to the other pouges, as JJ leans further into your side. Without you, he might have fallen over. “What’s new?” Pope laughs, making you roll your eyes. You knew that this was normal for JJ and that the pouges took it as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it should’ve been normalized. You always worried about JJ and the fact that the other pouges didn’t, made you upset.

You sigh as you sway awkwardly with JJ, thinking about what to do. “Can we just take him back to John B’s? He can’t be drinking anymore guys,” you plead, as John B nods and grabs his keys to the van. “Let’s go then.” You all start walking to the van, you and JJ a little bit behind due to his wonky walking. “You’re cute,” he laughs in his drunken state, making you smile a bit. JJ flirting with you both sober and drunk wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it never failed to make you blush like a middle schooler. “You too J,” you admit, and he chuckles without saying another word.

You make it to the van where Kie holds the door open for you two to hop into the back. You shove JJ in first, having him sit near the window while you sit in the middle and Kie sits next to you guys. John B starts the van and starts driving, which makes JJ hold his stomach. You’re the only one who notices it. “You okay JJ?” You ask him, but all he does it roll down the window. “I’m gonna throw up,” he mumbles, making your eyes go wide. “Oh no JJ, not in the van please,” John B begs. JJ doesn’t say anything as he sticks his head out the window and starts violently throwing up. All of you groan and laugh, as you rub JJ’s back to soothe him. You repeat the phrases “it’s okay” and “you’re okay” like a mantra.

You felt something on your thigh and looked down to see JJ’s hand. After pulling his head back out the window, he plops down on the soft seat under him and looks at you with a sloppy smile while squeezing your thigh in reassurance. “I’m good,” he laughs, looking around the van. “Good cause if you ever throw up in my van, I’ll kill you,” John B chuckles, making everyone else laugh along.

Finally making it back to John B’s, with JJ getting sick almost every 5 minutes, you limp with him by your side as the pouges rush to get the door open for you two. “Come on,” you grunt, finding it a bit difficult to hold JJ up by yourself. He keeps giggling and laughing while slurring his words. “Get him cleaned up in the bathroom y/n,” Pope says, and you nod. “We’ll get him water and some tylenol but until then, just make sure he doesn’t throw up all over my house,” John B exclaims, making you chuckle and adjust yourself against JJ. “Sure thing John.”

You walk into the bathroom with JJ and plop him down on the toilet seat. He sways back and forth, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Jesus J, your clothes are so dirty,” you whisper with a sigh. “Would you like me to strip then, princess?” You roll your eyes but can’t help but grin at his flirty words. “Shut it Maybank. Let’s just get you cleaned u-“

Your words were interrupted by JJ rushing to get off the toilet seat so he could open it. He instantly started throwing up, gripping the sides of the toilet until his knuckles turned white. You instantly got on your knees and sat behind him, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. “Shit JJ..” you say sympathetically. “I fucking hate when you do this shit.” After a minute or so of throwing up, he sits down on the floor and wipes him mouth. “Come here,” you mumble, coming closer to him with a napkin, but he swats your hand away. “JJ..” you warn. “Y/n just get out of here, okay? I don’t need you taking care of me.” You blink in surprise of his words and how quickly he can switch up. “Instead of being petty JJ, how about you be grateful that someone cares about you!” He scoffs and looks away. “Whatever,” he hiccups. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’re my girlfriend.” 

You freeze for a minute, trying to pretend like his words didn’t hurt you as much as they did. “You’re an asshole sometimes JJ. Girlfriend or not, I care about you. So stop denying my help and just shut up! God, I don’t even know why I’m fighting with you. You’re obviously so drunk right now. You don’t mean anything you’re saying.” You get up and stick your hand out for him. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He looks at your hand and then up at you. You shoot him a smile and he could swear, drunk or not, that smile would be the death of him one day. 

He hesitantly takes your hand, and you pull him up, having him stumble a bit before regaining his balance. You lead him to his bedroom and plop him down on his bed. You kneel down to take off his shoes for him, but he stops you. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, looking down to the ground. “For what?” You ask him, sitting down next to him. He feels the bed dip down a bit, which makes him sway a little. “For what I said in the bathroom,” he mumbles. You shake your head and chuckle. “JJ, you’re just drunk. I know you don’t mean any of it.” You were always so patient and understanding when it came to JJ. It was one of the many things he loved about you. That’s what made you so different from the other pouges. 

“Y/n?” He whispers. “Hm?” You ask in the same volume that he had used. “I like you a lot.” You smile and grip his shoulder. “I like you a lot too, JJ.” He shakes his head and lays down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “No Y/n,” he sighs, while closing his eyes. “I don’t think you understand. I like you a lot.” You tilt your head for a second in confusion, but instantly look at him wide eyed when you get what he meant. “Wha- JJ? Are you serious?” But he doesn't respond. All you heard from him was his silent snores. You get up from his bed and look down at him, to see he was fast asleep. Your breathing starts to pick up as you pace around the room silently. “Oh my god, oh my god. He didn’t mean that, right? He’s just drunk.. right? My god Y/n, who are you even asking? You’re alone. Right.. okay.” You stop pacing and grab a blanket that’s folded on JJ’s bed and cover him, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the forehead. “You better have meant what you said JJ, or I’ll kill you.” 

You leave a letter for him and go on your way, hoping he calls you in the morning or is not too sick to remember what he meant. 

Dear JJ, 

It’s your favorite person :) You were pretty drunk last night so the pouges left you some water and medicine while I took care of you. When you wake up, give me a call, okay? We kinda need to talk. And please JJ, try not to get so drunk anymore. You worry me when you do. I care about you. Girlfriend or not. 

Love, Y/n <3

-----

JJ wakes up the next morning with a groan and a pounding headache. He felt like he got hit by a truck. He never drinks this much and he knew it, but for some reason last night was different. He was trying to forget. And apparently it worked because he forgot what he was trying to forget. Bingo. He blinks a couple of times to get his vision from blurry to clear before standing up and stretching. He  looks down at his nightstand and finds a folded piece of paper and instantly recognizes your handwriting. 

He opens the letter and reads it. His eyes go wide when he reads “girlfriend or not.” He starts to wonder what he could’ve possibly said to you last night for you to include that in the letter, but his memory is failing him. Nevertheless, he finds his phone and quickly finds your contact, hesitantly clicking “call.” 

You answer after a couple of rings with a chipper yet out of breath ‘hello.’ 

“Hey Y/n..” he says softly, hearing your pants. “Are you okay?” he asks with a hint of concern in his voice. “Yeah J, I-I’m good. Just surfing. Why don’t you join me? None of the other pouges are here, and I’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.” You didn’t sound mad or upset, which JJ took into consideration. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you upset. “Sure, yeah. I’m on my way.” 

-----

JJ meets you on the beach about 15 minutes after your phone call. “Hey J!” You say, running up to him with a smile. “How are you feeling?” You ask him, and he just rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m a little out of it but the strangest thing is that I don’t remember anything from last night.” Your face instantly drops and JJ is quick to recognize your disappointment. “Oh..” you sigh, biting the inside of your cheek and looking down. “What’s the matter? Did I say something last night? Y/n whatever I said, I didn’t mean it, okay?” You look back up at JJ with a bit of tears in your eyes. “You said you liked me,” you mumble, making JJ tilt his head. “Of course I like you,” he chuckles. You shake your head, realizing you were mimicking his actions from last night. “No JJ. You said you liked me.” His eyes go wide, immediately realizing what you meant. “Oh.. Y/n, I- I don’t-”

“Did you mean it J?”

“Y/N-”

“Just tell me JJ. Please. Don’t lie to me, okay?”

 JJ looks down for a moment, contemplating on whether or not he should tell the truth to you and potentially ruin the friendship, or lie to you, and ruin the friendship even further. He saw how hurt you look when he said he didn’t remember, so maybe, just maybe, there was a slight chance that you liked him back. 

“I like you Y/n. I do. More than a friend. I didn’t want to tell you while I was shitfaced and with you taking care of me. But I did, and I’m sorry. You deserved a better confession from me. I really do like you Y/n but if you don’t like me back then that’s okay. I ju- are you crying?!”

You wipe the tears away as you chuckle from JJ’s concerned face from you crying. “Of course I am, you idiot!” You exclaim, walking closer to him. “JJ I like you too. So much. I was really hoping you were telling the truth because I don’t think I could watch you have one night stands anymore,” you laugh, and so does he. “So does this mean..” his voice trails off but you knew what he meant. You nod with a smile and he returns it, blinking slowly. 

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Please do.”

[mayraki]

“the adventures of babysitting” - jj maybank

-> hvitstark’s gif!

summary: when the cute boy who mows the lawn for the kook family you babysit shows up, weird and unexpected events start to happen.

masterlist

Babysitting wasn’t something you planned to do when summer started, but when you saw that lonely dollar that you had in your pocket you decided to change that. And what better way, than to take care of the rich kids when their parents are too focused on their golf sessions?

It didn’t took you long to find a parent like that, since in Outer Banks, 90% of the parents had the stupid necessity to go golfing every day, leaving their poor kids on the house. Well, “poor” is a matter of speech, because if you had a pool the side of your entire house and free WiFi to play any game that ever existed, you wouldn’t complain.

“The food is in the refrigerator. Maybe start making it at 12 pm, she likes to eat early.” Mrs. Johnson was saying while she had her big bag on her shoulders, ready to leave the house. “Lily!” She yelled so loudly that you squint your eyes for the sudden scream. “Oh, and before I forget, in a couple of hours the boy that’s going to cut the grass is going to show up. But you don’t have to do anything, he already knows his way around the front yard.” You nodded with a little smile.

“Great!”

“Lily! Get down here, now!” She yelled so firmly that you could tell the fire on her eyes, making you feel a little bit intimidated by the rich house wife. As soon as she went back to you, a smile appeared on her face again changing her expression completely in a matter of one second, making you feel a little bit scared. “Do you have any more questions for the day?”

“No! I’m fine, we’ll be fine.”

“Y/n!” You heard the little girl calling your name while she was running to welcome you with a hug.

“Lily! Come here you little angel!” You picked her up so she could wrap her arms around your shoulders.

“Lily, behave.” Mrs. Johnson said and Lily nodded.

“Yes, mommy, like always.”

“No cookies until lunch is over, got it?”

Lily nodded again, this time more quicker. “Got it.”

Not trusting her daughter, Mrs. Johnson turned to you. “Got it?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Mrs. Johnson gave Lily a kiss on the forehead before walking towards the door. “See you later Mrs. Johnson!” You waved until you saw her outside and she was no longer in your sight.

“Do you want to see my barbie?” Lily said once her feet touched the ground.

“Sure!”

“Cool! Let me look for it.” She grabbed your hand to walk you to her room. “I did a makeover that took me the whole week. Because when I got her she was so ugly, the change was necessary.” She was saying like a professional fashion icon. Her sass was one of your favorite things about her. “That’s what my mom says all the time. If you don’t like something, you change it so it fits you.” After a walk that seemed to took forever since the house was bigger than the whole frontyard itself, you arrived at her room. While Lily was looking for her barbie to show you, you went over her room like it was the first time your eyes were seeing it. The wall colors looked like an unicorn had throw up in them and then a fairy had her glitter thrown at it. The main color was pink, her bed, her night stand, her desk, even her TV was the color pink. You never hated that color, but her room was making you feel nauseous. It was all so colourful and an interesting thing to look at, but the thing that always caught your attention was the thousand posters of the movie ‘Frozen’. Elsa, Anna and all of those characters you couldn’t remember the names where in her wall smiling. They were so many of them that you started to feel creeped out by them. “Here she is!” Finally, Lily found her barbie as was already walking towards you with her toy in her hand waving it like she was trying to get something out of her. She handed the barbie to you with the biggest and proudest smile ever, but the moment you grabbed the toy the smile disappeared from your face for a second.

“Oh my-” the normal long hair that Barbies have isn’t longer in this one, it was short and it looked like some punk girl from the 80’s with he hairs all lift up. You didn’t even know if it was punk, she looked like she touched a wire with a fork! She had a short dress that looked like it had been on dirt, washed but then she fell on grass, making it look even more dirty and destroyed. Her skin was painted red and blue with some pink dots all over her body. She definitely didn’t had a good day. You looked at Lily and noticed the proud smile and the excitement on her eyes as you were watching the barbie, so you put your biggest fake smile on your face not wanting to break the poor girl’s heart. “She looks wonderful!”

“I know! I’m good at it!”

You quickly nodded. “Yeah!”

“Maybe I can be a fashion designer when I grow up!” Lily started clapping and grabbed the barbie from your hand while you were nodding non stop not knowing what to say.

Models from the future; I’m so sorry and good luck.

You thanked the Gods for Lily not wanting to show you anymore of her creations, instead she wanted to watch a movie, and as soon as she said that, you already knew what she wanted to see.

“Let it gooooo! Let it goooooo!” You heard Elsa sing while Lily’s eyes were glued to the TV, her body was slowly moving while she was whispering the song. You knew she loved the movie so much she never wanted to outsing Elsa, and deep down, you were grateful for that.

“Yes, please Elsa,” you said in a whisper not wanting Lily to hear you while you were sitting down in the couch behind her “let it fucking go. Stop it.” As soon as you tilted your head backwards annoyed, a sound came from the front yard. “What was that? You asked with your eyes glued to the door, but there was no response from Lily, since her little mind was too focused on the movie. You headed to the window to cheek what it was while all the horror movies and serial killers documentaries went through your mind. With your heart beating a little faster you opened the curtains and wondered with your eyes your surroundings, but nothing was there. You were calming down until you heard your phone rang in your pocket, making you jump from the scare.

“What’s up bitch?” Your best friend, Hannah, said on the phone once you picked up.

“Hi, I’m babysitting.” You said still checking the front yard.

“Oh, got it, you have to watch your tongue.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think this kid is listening to me right now, Elsa has that covered.” You did quick look on Lily, who’s eyes were still glued to the TV.

“Ugh, I hate that movie.”

“I don’t. But the amount of times I watched it here isn’t helping on that.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Checking if the guy- oh my god.” You stopped as soon as your eyes noticed a boy standing in the front yard. Because he was too far away you could only see clearly his blonde hair and his dark brown boots. He had a white shirt on and some light brown shorts, he was far, but the way he was moving and carrying himself was what attracted you and made your eyes stare at him twice, making sure you were seeing correctly.

“What?”

“The guy that cuts the grass for this family is...” you did a quick turn to Lily to check if she was listening, but she was still too focused on the movie. You turned back to see the boy, but before you could continue your sentence, Hannah spoke before you.

“Hot?”

“Oh, more than that.”

“Who is it?” Hannah said intrigued.

“Can’t see, he’s too far.”

“What is he doing?” You saw how his arms tensed when he grabbed some machine you never saw before. They were so strong that you suddenly got the need to walk towards him touch them, but that would be extremely weird.

“I don’t know, turning the machine I guess.” You tried to focus more on his face and try to figure out if you knew him, but he was too far for your poor sight.

“Go talk to him.”

“What? No!”

“Why not? He’s hot, you’re hot. Perfect match.”

“He is definitely a...” Again, you turned around making sure Lily wasn’t hearing. Even if she wasn’t, you choose your next words carefully. “major babe.”

“Major babe?” Hannah let out a tiny laugh. “What are? 30?”

“The kid is still here!” You whispered loudly.

“What is a major babe?” Fuck.

You turned around to see Lily standing there with her Barbie between her hands. The movie was still playing but it looked like your conversation gained her attention even more.

“What? Oh, nothing.” You shook your head with your phone still against your ear. “Don’t worry about it baby. Keep watching Elsa.”

“I want to know what that means.” Lily said with her firm tone, letting you know she wasn’t going to let it go.

“I think you’re in trouble.” Hannah said on the other side, and you knew she was trying to not laugh at your current situation.

“Bye!” You ended the call before leaving your phone in your pocker to kneeled down and be closer to Lily’s face. “A major babe is someone who is... cute.” You said trying to choose the perfect words. Explaining something like this to a six year old isn’t something that you would ever choose to do.

“Cute?” Lily asked confused.

“Yeah, pretty.”

“Like Elsa?”

“Yeah? Yeah!”

You thought the conversation was over when Lily let out a giant smile and nodded convinced. But then, she opened her mouth: “So you think the guy who cuts the grass is pretty?”

“Well-” You got up trying to take those thoughts out of her mind, but before you could say anything Lily started clapping excited.

“You do! Y/n and JJ sitting in a tree-” She started singing but you stopped hearing once you heard the name ‘JJ’.

“Wait, JJ? The guy’s name is JJ?” You said confused, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“Yeah! He comes every week since last year!”

“JJ? JJ Maybank?” You were praying Lily was going to shake her head and say it was another JJ, but deep down you knew there wasn’t any other guy with that name.

“Yeah!” Lily said happily, unaware of your thoughts and your not so happy face.

Well, fuck.

“Oh my god.” You said when it finally hit you. “Sweetie, I think Anna is dying.” You said gently turning Lily towards the TV.

“Oh no!” She went back to the movie. You turned to the window and moved the curtain while a sigh came out of your mouth.

JJ Maybank. The guy that was known for being the life of the party, getting into trouble or starting a fight. He would almost every time leave the party with some girl around his arm. You weren’t going to lie, you wished sometimes you were that girl. Having a crush on a boy that doesn’t know you exists isn’t... the best. You met JJ at school when you were a kid and that’s when it all started, when he defended you from some Kook kid that was annoying you at lunch. The crush didn’t grew more, the opposite, it went down passing the years. But that didn’t stop you from looking at him when he showed up at the party you were at or feeling nervous when he was around. You weren’t the type to do so, but there was something about him that made you feel as awkward as you could ever be.

The fact that he was in the same house as you made you feel something inside your stomach, making you move uncomfortably in your sit while Lily was watching, for the second time, Frozen. You don’t have to talk to him, there’s nothing to worry about. You were thinking over and over again trying to calm yourself down. Or maybe this is your opportunity to talk to him. You thought in Hannah’s voice, since she knew about your crush she would often say that you should start a conversation with him, or at least introduce yourself.

You didn’t know if he knew who you were. You only talked once, back when you were kids and you thanked him for defending you. That was it. You remembered it, but you were sure he didn’t.

C’mon, what are you waiting for? Go offer him some water! Hannah’s voice was saying in your head like she was next to you giving you the courage you needed to do so. And somehow, it worked. After making sure Lily was safe while watching the movie, you walked towards the kitchen and poured water on a cup to bring outside.

As soon as your hand touched the door to open it, you felt the heat of the sun touching your skin and you heart beating faster, already knowing your next moves.

You saw him getting ready to cut the grass with the same machine you saw before. His skin and hair were glowing under the sun making your heart beat faster than before and him looking more beautiful than he already was.

“Hey!” You said loudly once you were a couple of steps away from him.

JJ immediately turned to you making your heart drop to your stomach. He furrowed his eyebrows confused while trying to figure out who you were. “Hi? Are you the babysitter?” He pointed at you and you nodded with a smile.

“Yeah. Y/n.”

“JJ.” He let out a tiny smile. Fuuuuuuck.

Silence came between you two while your brain was trying to remember what you came outside. “Oh! I bought you some water, it’s pretty hot out here.” You handed him the cup which he took gratefully.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, I don’t want you passing out. I don’t want to deal with that.” You said and immediately regretted it, why would you say that? That makes you sound like a terrible babysitter!

But as soon as he let out a genuine laugh, your mind gave you a break.

“Sure. So, since when did you started working with this family?” He said before giving a sip to the water.

“Last week.”

“I haven’t seen you around much. You live in the Cut, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I do. My dad owns the store across the beach.”

JJ didn’t respond immediately. He stood there watching your eyes carefully, so much, that your heart started beating faster once again. “Really? He has some good boards, dude.”

“Thanks. He’s really proud of them.”

“Make sure to tell him. Thank you for the water.” He gave you the now empty cup and you shook your head with a little smile.

“Don’t worry about it. If you need anything just tell me.”

JJ let out a tiny laugh. “You take care better of me than Mrs. Johnson.”

You smiled back while on the inside you were freaking out. “It’s no-” you were saying but the water hitting your body cut you off.

“What the fuck?” JJ said as soon as both of you noticed the water feeling like rain against your body. You looked up to see if it was, but the sky was as as clear as you last saw it.

“Where is that water coming from?!”

“It’s the automatic water for the grass!” JJ said looking down and pointing at the tiny machine going off behind you. You turned around and looked at it confused, trying to not get hit in the face by putting your hands in front of your face.

“But it never turns on during the day! Do you know how to turn it off?!” You asked at JJ with the hope that he did, and luckily, he nodded turning around and leading to some part of the front yard you’ve never been before. When you arrived to where he was you noticed he was kneeled down and with a quicker twist of his hand, the water was off. “What the hell was that?” You said turning to where the water was coming from.

“I don’t know.” JJ said and looked down to his body all wet. You turned to him and did the same, but not to your own body, to his. The way his shirt was glued to his torso would mark his abs and let you nothing to the imagination. You immediately looked down once you realize you were staring, you felt so embarrassed like you weren’t supposed to see what you just did. “Maybe this will help with the sun and I won’t pass out.” He said with a smile once he looked up at you and you smiled, thankful he didn’t notice you staring at him and his fit body.

“You’re dripping.” You said. “You have to dry yourself otherwise you won’t be able to work with those heavy clothes. C’mon.” You pointed at the house and started walking, but his voice cut you off.

“I’m not sure I’m aloud to go in.”

“Do you want to get your work done or not? Because I don’t think you’ll be able to.” You did a quick look to the drops of water goind down. “It’s your decision, but I think Mrs. Johnson won’t be happy if she comes back and her grass isn’t done. Do whatever you want.” You said knowing that it was going to convince him to go with you. You did this tactic with Lily sometimes, making it their choice and having the control over the situation. Like you suspected, as soon as you made a couple of steps away from JJ, you heard his feet moving and getting closer to yours. Seconds later, he was already next to you.

“Maybe we should go to the bathroom, I don’t want to make a mess.” You said the moment you stepped inside the house. Lily, who was now sitting down on the couch, looked at you two with an exaggerated surprised face and walked to where you two where.

“Oh! What happened?”

“The water of your front yard went kinda crazy.” You said grabbing your sticky shirt and trying to get it away from your skin.

“Really?” Lily asked and then turned to JJ, who nodded.

“Lily I want you to stay here watching the movie, ok? We need to get dry.” You said leading the way to the bathroom. “Don’t open the door to anyone, did you hear me?”

“Yes!” Lily said while quickly nodding and then leaving to continue watching her movie. “Stupid Hans!” She yelled at the TV.

“She really likes that movie doesn’t she?” JJ said with a smile once he turned around to follow you.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “we watched it three times today.”

“Ouch.” You let out a laugh before entering the bathroom and quickly grabbing the towel and turning around to face JJ.

“Here, have the towe-” You were saying but once your eyes noticed JJ’s naked torso, your tongue went completely numb. “Oh.”

“Is everything ok?” He asked noticing your shook face, but then a little grin escaped his lips while he grabbed the towel from your hand.

“Yeah. Yeah! Everything’s fine.” You said quickly shaking your head a little bit, trying so hard to not let your now red cheeks make you feel embarrassed.

“Aren’t you gonna change?”

“I’ll wait for you to be over and then I’ll do it. Don’t worry about it.”

He nodded and the continued drying his body. “I still don’t know what happened with that.”

“Maybe the clock failed?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe. Anyway, thank you.” He handed you the towel. “I have to continue with work.”

“Yeah!” You quickly nodded. “You go.” You watched how he turned around letting you have a perfect veiw of his back, which made you feel like when you saw his torso naked without any warning. You looked away once he left the bathroom and slapped your forehead with the palm of your hand, already overthinking everything you just did.

As soon as you were finished you walked towards the living room to check on Lily who was now finishing the movie just one more time. You grabbed your phone from your pocket to see the time and realized it was lunch time, so trying to focus every thought of Lily, you called her so she would follow you into the kitchen. You grabbed everything that was on the refrigerator like Mrs. Johnson has told you while your mind was making the recipe for Lily’s meal. You were trying so hard to keep your mind focus and not thing of the cute guy that was still working on the front yard, a couple of steps away from you.

“Did you really fell for Hans because I didn’t. It was pretty obvious.” Lily said while watching you prepare her lunch.

“You think? I didn’t see it coming.”

“I didn’t like Hans since the beginning.” Lily nodded proudly of herself.

“You didn’t? I thought he was really cute and charming, maybe that what’s wrong with princes.” As soon as you said that, a thought came into your head. You stayed still like everything in your life just made sense and you understood it in that exact moment. “And maybe that’s why I like the boys I like.” You continued, talking more to your lard than to Lily. “They’re charming and sweet, but then they forget about your face even if you’re wearing a tiny mask, or they kiss you without even consenting it.” You were saying while your head was inside the refrigerator, looking for the mayonnaise to complete Lily’s lunch. “Or they even think because they have money we will automatically fall for them!” The moment that you said that you realized that you were babbling all to yourself about boys while Lily was listening to you, so you turned around shaking all your thoughts away. “Anyway-” you were about to change the subject but when you opened the water from the kitchen sink it all exploded and went all over your face and clothes. “WHAT THE HELL?” You yelled putting your hand in front of your face to prevent the water hitting your eyes.

“I’ll call JJ!” Lily said once she noticed the water wasn’t stopping.

“What- no! I got this!” You tried to stop her but it was too late, she was already out of your sight. “What’s the fucking problem with water today?” You asked trying to turn the water off, but no matter what you did with the switch, it wasn’t stopping.

“What happened?!” You heard JJ asking once he arrived next to you.

“I turned it on and it went crazy!” You turned around to see the water all over the floor. JJ kneeled down and opened the doors down the sink and just like before, stopped the water. You let your hands rest beside your body and let out an annoyed sigh at the feeling of sticky and wet clothes against your skin.

“Just like before?” JJ asked getting up to lock eyes with you.

You nodded. “Yeah. I think the thingy is broken.” You pointed at the sink looking at it confused but when you heard JJ let out a tiny laugh, you turned to him. “What?”

“The thingy?”

“Yeah, where the water comes out.”

JJ nodded still with a funny smile on his face. “Do you know how to fix it?”

“Do you?”

“Dad has tools!” Lily yelled, appearing on the conversation for the first time. You turned to her and she had a big smile on her face while her fingers were playing with each other. “Maybe Y/n can show you where they are?”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded remembering the time you helped Mr. Johnson fix something for Lily. “I think they’re next to the bathroom. C’mon.” You said looking at JJ but then you turned to Lily. “While we repair that finish your lunch.”

She quickly nodded before you left her behind. “Ok!”

Even if you had JJ behind you, you felt his eyes on you as you were walking. Maybe they weren’t on you, but somehow, your mind had convince you they were making you feel uncomfortable under them. You were hearing his steps behind you, they were so close you could feel the air he was pushing with his arms while walking. The hallway was darker as usual since having JJ in your mind you forgot to turn on the light, but you knew the house like the palm of your hand.

“I think this is the room- yes it is!” You said entering the room next to the bathroom. “Tools tools tools...”

“Here.” JJ said behind you while grabbing a big dark brown box.

“Oh, ok. Better get that thing fixed so you can get back to work.” JJ nodded so you walked to the now closed door. You looked at it confused since you didn’t remember closing it. “What? Did you close the door?”

“No I didn’t.” JJ said.

“Then why the hell is it closed?” You asked before grabbing the handle, but it wasn’t opening. “And locked?!” Your heart dropped to your stomach the moment you realized you were locked and Lily was outside alone. “Oh my god, Lily? Can you open the door please? Lily?!”

Your heart started to beat faster but then, luckily, she spoke from the other side. “Are you guys locked?”

“Yeah! Can you open it from the outside?”

“I don’t know!”

“Can you check sweetie?”

“She’s a six year old? What can she do?” JJ asked behind you not faced by the situation at all.

“Well? Do you have any ideas genius? Lily is out there on her own!”

JJ lifted the box of the tools and let out a grin. “We have tools?”

“You can’t use them! Do you want to break the door?!”

“Do you want to get stuck in here until Mrs. Johnson comes back? Because I don’t think she’ll be happy to know that you left the little girl outside all by herself.” You let out a tiny sigh when JJ used the same tactic you used on him moments ago. You hated when they were used against you.

“Lily, are you still there?” You asked turning to face the door.

“Yeah. Are you two fighting in there?” She asked softly.

“No, sweetie, why would you think that?”

“I don’t know...”

“Do you want me to break the door then?” JJ asked lifting his eyebrow.

“Maybe you can do something without breaking it?”

“I’ll try. But I’m not a magician.” He said getting closer to the door to grab the handle. You noticed he put a lot of strength in it, but you didn’t understand what he was doing. “I think I got it, but I need your help.”

“What do you want me to do?” You walked to stand next to him.

“Grab the handle and pull it really hard when I say so.” You did as he told you and then looked at him, waiting for his words. “Ready?” You nodded. “Go!”

You pulled the handle with all your strength just like JJ told you while JJ was pushing the door to open, and before you could think of something else the door opened. You and JJ had so much strength into it, that the sudden movement of the door opening, made you two lose balance. JJ tried to grab your waist and prevent you from falling, but it didn’t work since your body was already half way to the floor, it only managed to turn you around by twisting you from your waist and not fall on your face. Once your back hit the floor, you felt a body algo hitting yours.

You opened your eyes once the pain in your back passed enough for you to move, to see some blue eyes staring at you. JJ’s face was so close to yours that you were feeling his heavy breathing against your skin. You felt like his eyes were casting a spell on you since you felt like you couldn’t move, and not because you had his body on top of yours. Even if would be normal for you to feel crushed under a body, you weren’t feeling his. You were so lost in his eyes that you forgot everything around you, it was just him and his breathing gently hitting your face.

“Guys-” Lily said softly next to you. That made you return to the moment and realize in the position you two were. He quickly got up and walked back nervously, like he didn’t know what just happened either.

“Lily! Are you alright?” You walked towards her and hugged her body.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She broke the hug to look at JJ, who was still standing in the corner nervously. “You two looked like Anna and Kristoff there.”

“What’s that?” You asked quickly, feeling your cheeks getting hot.

“Yeah, when they looked at each other. With so much looooove.” Lily said and then let out a silly laugh. You wanted the floor to eat you and throw you whatever it wanted, as long as it wasn’t there. Silence surrounded the hallway for a couple of seconds while you were trying to think of something to change the subject and pretend that what just happened, didn’t. But JJ spoke before you.

“Maybe I should get back to work.” He said and you nodded.

“Maybe you should.” The second you said that, he quickly walked passed your body to leave you and Lily behind. You watched his back and noticed he was looking down, maybe you weren’t the only one who got embarrassed. But what did happen?

The moment that you two locked eyes with each other you felt like there was nothing else around you, like you were melting under his eyes. You never felt something like that, and you never wanted to do it again. So lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize Lily has taken you to the living room to play with some of her new toys. You were hearing her voice talk but non of her words were entering your body. You tried to keep your eyes on the toys but the second that you looked up, your eyes met with his. He quickly looked down and walked away, leaving your sight from the window. You sighed, disappointed.

It wasn’t that you wanted to stare at him... well, maybe it was. But you didn’t want to distract yourself from your work and taking care of Lily, the girl that had to be your number one throught until you left the house. So erasing your unwanted thoughts, you focused your mind into Lily’s game, who seemed to be super invested in.

“Barbie and Ken are going to get married tomorrow, I already planned everything.” Lily was saying the second your mind started to pick up her words. “I’m so excited!”

“I’m pretty sure Barbie and Ken are as well!” You said with a smile, playing along with her.

After a couple of minutes playing with Lily you were glad JJ wasn’t consuming your brain, playing with Lily did helped you get your thoughts straight and focus on what was important. It all seemed to be going back to normal, you weren’t thinking of what happened earlier, Lily and her funny game with her Barbies were definitely making you laugh, and the clock was getting closer to the end of the day, so you were definitely going back to your normal self, until you heard some steps getting inside the house.

“Hey, can I have another glass of water?” JJ asked standing next to the door. You looked up and him and slowly nodded, not opening your mouth. Without giving the opportunity to anything else to happen, you got up from where you were and walked to the kitchen. You heard the door closing and you sighed, glad that JJ didn’t followed you to the kitchen. You didn’t want to talk to him, you knew you were going to be your awkward self and probably embarrass yourself like you usually do, so better to avoid him and forget he even excited... if that’s even possible. You looked at the glass of water that you had now on your hand and stared at it for a couple of seconds. You didn’t want to go out and give it to him, so a better idea came into your head.

“Hey, sweetie,” you called Lily and seconds later she was in front of you with an innocent smile on her face. “can you take this to JJ?” She nodded and grabbed the glass of water before leaving the kitchen behind.

While waiting for her to come back, you closed your eyes when the last time you had JJ in front of you came back to your mind. Well, on top of you is the better choice for words. Your heart dropped to your stomach and the memory slowly came back to your eyes and the feeling of his breathing against your face. Not wanting to have that on your mind, you slapped yourself on the forehead with the palm of your hand. But that didn’t work at all, and what you saw when you opened your eyes didn’t help either.

“Hi.” He said while standing next to the kitchen entrance.

“Hi.” You said, surprised he was inside the house.

“My water?” He asked looking to your hand and noticing they weren’t holding anything.

You furrowed your eyebrows confused, trying to not think you telling Lily about JJ’s water was all your mind playing tricks on you. “I just sent Lily with a glass of water for you.”

“She said that you had it here.”

“What? Lily?” You called her but there was no response. “Lily!” You walked to the living room but she wasn’t there. Feeling your heart beating faster you walked outside hoping she was there. Once your eyes went over the entire front yard while your heart was slowly beating faster passing the seconds, your eyes finally landed on Lily, but that didn’t calmed you down, since she was standing right next to the pool. “What are you doing?”

“I want to take a swim!” She yelled once you started to walk towards her, followed by JJ.

“You don’t know how to swim! Your mom doesn’t let you in if she’s not here! Come back!”

“But I want to swim!”

“Lily you can’t! I’m pretty sure you will when your mom comes home.” You said but Lily didn’t respond you, instead she turned towards the pool. “Lily?” The moment she lifted her foot your heart dropped to your stomach. Your eyes followed her body falling inside the pool once she jumped and threw some water drops into the air, you saw it all like it happened in slow motion. “Lily!” You yelled like you never did before. You started running towards her ready to jump and grab her, but JJ being faster than you, with quick moves took off his boots and jumped into the pool.

Once inside, the water was making it difficult for you to fully see their movements. That was making your hands sweat and your heart to beat faster, it felt like it was going to jump out of your body. But then, you saw JJ’s head above the water, followed by Lily’s.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” You yelled once JJ left Lily’s body outside the pool. “Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack!” You patted her back while she was getting all the water outside from her body. You felt your heart getting heavy and slowing its speed while your breathing was letting out relief breaths.

“I’m sorry.” Lily said, once she stopped cuffing.

“Why- why would you do that Lily? You know you can’t swim!”

Lily looked up and JJ, who was breathing heavily with his body covered in water and his clothes sticking to his skin, but then she went back to looking at the floor. “I wanted- I wanted to be Anna.”

“What?” You asked confused.

“And I wanted JJ to be Kristoff.” As soon as she said those words you locked eyes with JJ, who seemed to understand the same thing as you on the same moment. Lily wanted to have a love like the characters of her favorite movie.

“Oh... Sweetie,” you kneeled down to be closer to her face. “And you thought that jumping into the pool when you can’t swim was going to make JJ your Kristoff because you wanted him to save you?”

She slowly nodded. “Yeah. And I- I also turned on the water earlier.”

“What?” You and JJ asked at the same time.

“The water for the grass- I did it.”

“Why?” JJ asked once you got up.

“And I broke the water tap. And I locked you two in the closet.” You opened your mouth surprised before looking at JJ, who was just as surprised as you.

“How?” He asked.

“Why would you do that?”

Lily shrugged her shoulders and that made JJ let out a tiny laugh while shaking his head.

“At least we know the house isn’t haunted.” He said, turning the conversation into something funny.

“You little devil.” You said, after letting the funny in the situation hit you.

“Are you gonna tell my mom?” Lily asked softly once she locked eyes with you.

“Lily, do you promise you won’t do it again?”

She quickly nodded with a smile. “I do.”

“Then this will be out little secret.”

“Thank you Y/n!” For the first time during those long hours, you felt like there was nothing else that could go wrong. You didn’t felt uncomfortable under JJ’s eyes, Lily was completely fine and JJ didn’t seem to bother that a little girl almost drowned for him... it all felt just alright. “And you calling JJ a major babe will be our little secret too!” Lily yelled and quickly added, noticing your cheeks go red and JJ letting out a grin once he locked eyes with you. “Oh, sorry.” Lily said softly.

“Shit.”

Well... it had to happen, just another thing going completely wrong.

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[buckyownsmylife]

t r e a c h e r o u s - chapter iv

The one where you are Sebastian’s girlfriend, but Chris can’t get enough of you. 

Due to the age gap between you and Sebastian, your boyfriend has a hard time feeling sexually attracted to you. In order to save your relationship, he invites Chris to have sex with you while he watches, hoping that the voyeurism will awaken his arousal and jealousy. Soon, he’ll learn that inviting his best friend into his relationship may have just been the worst mistake he ever made, when Chris finds himself unable to let you go after his role is done.

for general warnings, author’s notes and disclaimer, please go to the fic’s masterlist

Chris’ P.O.V.

       “Chris,” she let out, clearly surprised to see me at her doorstep in the middle of the night. My heart thundered in my chest at the sight of her, her hair a bit disheveled but still falling down her back in perfect curves, stopping just before that incredible ass I couldn’t stop thinking about. She shuffled her weight from one foot to another before breaking the silence. “Sebastian isn’t here,” she explained, to which I nodded.        “I know,” I smiled, enjoying how a blush traveled across her face as she realized I had come here for her.        “What do you want?” She asked, a bit breathlessly. I licked my lips, unable to tear my eyes away from hers.        “Isn’t it obvious?” A pause, no response. Her chest heaved under the thin nightgown she was wearing. “I want you, Y/N,” I finally admitted, watching her mouth fall open as my words reached her.        “Chris…” She started, already taking a step back inside the house, as I took up the opportunity to step inside, closing the door behind me.        “Hear me out,” I begged, capturing her hands and pulling her to me. She tried to avert her gaze, staring at anything other than me, until I carefully fixed a curl that danced in front of her eyes, depositing it behind one of her ears. “One night, please. That’s all I’m asking for. I…. Fuck, I just need you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night. I haven’t been able to fuck anyone else, to be completely honest. I just need you. One last time. Please.”        That was the whole speech I had and I was fully prepared for her to scream at me, throw me out of her house and never speak to me again, but her eyes pierced me with something that reminded me so much of the feeling I was trying to control inside of me and before I could second guess this, she nodded once.        “Okay,” she whispered, barely audible, and my lips connected to hers.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

       Our first kiss took all the strength I was trying to use to still restrain myself from this vile act I had just accepted to partake in. But now that it had left me, with weak knees and barely supported by Chris, who now had one of his arms around my waist, all I could think about was him and how his mouth tasted like beer and how sweet his movements were.        Of course, I knew he was a sweet man, having had the pleasure to become friends with him a while ago. But it was very different to be receiving his sweetness under this situation, one I never thought I would get to experience.        The night we shared under Sebastian’s watch was nothing more than pure lust, and I was expecting this to be no different, but he… he was treating me with such care. Like I was the most precious thing he had ever had the pleasure to hold.        We were still kissing as we made our way through the house until we reached the bedroom. In fact, we never stopped kissing. Any time I tried to pull back to gather some air into my lungs, Chris would pull me back to him again, like he was afraid I was going to say something to stop this.        I didn’t want to stop this.        Suddenly, my nightgown was being pulled over my head and I was standing naked in front of my boyfriend’s best friend. Again. Only everything was so much different from last time.        For starters, I didn’t remember him looking at me like that. Not like I was the most precious thing he had ever seen, some sort of rare artwork he couldn’t believe he had right before his eyes. His hands slowly caressed me from my hips to my breasts and he took his time. He pinched and he rolled my nipples between his fingers and before long I was gasping and he was pushing me down into the mattress, climbing up on top of me right after he took off his own clothes.        And then I felt him, hard and heavy against the inside of my thigh and just that simple contact had me moaning from underneath him.        “I know, baby. I know.” Every word was followed by his lips against my skin, kissing, licking, tugging, just hard enough to elicit a gasp, but never enough to leave a bruise. We both knew we couldn’t. “I’m gonna take my time with you, alright? Gonna do this the right way, now.”        He didn’t offer me a chance to answer, his mouth engulfed my nipple and I cried out loud at the feeling of his tongue swirling around it. He sucked on it enthusiastically, and I was already writhing with desire. When he finally released it with a pop, his attention went immediately to the other one, but his fingers came up to continue playing with the nipple he had released. Between the pulling and the licking, I was dripping and he hadn’t even touched me properly yet.        I was just about to beg for him to get on with it when he finally seemed to take pity on me.

Chris’ P.O.V.

       After I had satisfied my need to suck on her sweet nipples, I started my slow descent on her body with wet, open-mouthed kisses, wanting to make sure I didn’t leave one single inch of skin untasted. I wanted to memorize her sweetness, the way she intoxicated my tongue and my thoughts.        When I finally reached my destination, she was trembling with desire, just how I’d dreamed I would be able to leave her. I smiled when our eyes met just as I stuck out my tongue to touch her outer lips, barely teasing her.        “Chris, please…” She whispered into the night, and immediately all of my restraint was gone. Hearing my name leave her like a prayer was more than I had ever hoped for.        I buried my face in her pussy like she was the last meal I would ever get to eat.        God, as much as I loved to eat women out, nothing could compare to this, to her, to her taste. I already knew I would only be able to stop licking her when overpleasured tears were coming out of her eyes and she was begging me to stop. Then, and only then, would I force my cock into her.        Her juices were already overflowing from her pussy when I wrapped my lips on her little clit. She screamed out, half in surprise and a half in pleasure, and I was so proud of myself for being able to elicit this type of reaction from her.        She was fucking delicious. Sweet and overpowering and I licked her furiously, determined not to waste a single drop of her essence. When she came for the first time, I felt like I was the one who was going to pass out, from having all of that liquid thrust into me.        I welcomed it happily. Then I pushed a single finger into her, my movements quick and precise as I felt around for her special spot. When she squirmed, trying to escape my touch, I knew I had found it.        “What’s wrong, baby girl?” I teased her, separating my lips from her just enough so that I could talk, but keeping my finger moving inside of her. “Didn’t know about this, did you? I bet no one had ever taken their time to look for it, but I’m here now, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.”        When I sucked her clit this time around she cried out, quickly cumming again, and I had to groan at the feeling of her walls clenching around my single digit. I didn’t mind that by now my face was completely drenched in her release, I would bathe on it if I could. But knowing how she felt squeezing a part of me made me desperately want to have my cock inside of her again, soon.        However, the part of me that wanted to take advantage of this night together was still stronger. So, instead of separating myself completely from her, I pushed another finger in, opting to give her little clit some rest this time around. I kissed my way back up to her face, forcing my tongue past her lips so that she could have a taste of her own arousal.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

       “Don’t you taste good, sweetheart?” He asked, in that voice that was pure sin. I felt like I was drowning in desire and I couldn’t remember why I should feel bad about this, not when it was giving me such pleasure. His fingers quickly brought me to another release, or maybe it was the same, just stronger, and I was thankful there was no one around to hear my screams. I never thought I was very vocal in bed, but I guess that no one simply had been able to bring that out in me.        Chris did.        He looked so pleased with himself when I was finally able to open my eyes again. To be honest, I would be too, if I knew I could give this much pleasure to someone. But I guess this was my chance to prove myself not only to me but to him, too. So as soon as I could gather enough strength, I managed to push him back on the bed, changing our positions so that I was the one hovering above him, between his stretched out legs.        “Can I taste you, daddy?” I asked, looking up at him from underneath my eyelashes as I softly ran my fingers over the bulge in his boxers. Chris let out a groan at my words, biting his lip as he adjusted himself so his hands would be behind his head.        “I fucking knew you weren’t that sweet little innocent angel you pretended to be. Go on then, baby girl. I’ve been dying to feel your lips around me ever since we met.” The confession brought a new wave of wetness to my pussy, and I eagerly climbed up his body to kiss him once before taking off his remaining piece of clothing.        Despite his words, he didn’t seem to want to let me go. Every time I pulled away from his lips, he’d grab me by the back of my neck to kiss me again. Finally, I pushed away from him, keeping my hand over his chest to force him to remain lying down while I giggled.        “Do you want me to suck you off or not?” I teased, running a single finger over his plump lower lip before taking my eyes off of it to find the darkness that had taken over his staring back at me. He groaned like the decision gave him physical pain, but ended up releasing my hips and relaxing back against the mattress.        “Fine, princess. Get on with it, then.” Despite the relatively harsh words, there wasn’t any roughness to his tone. In fact, he looked at me like I was in fact a princess, something rare and beautiful that he couldn’t wait to treasure, and as much as I wanted to ignore it, my heart melted at the sight.        I distracted myself from the emotional response he caused me by moving along with what I intended to do. Despite the little time I had dedicated towards it last time, I remembered Chris’ cock vividly, and my mouth watered just by the memories. So it wasn’t much of a surprise that as soon as it was freed from its confines, in all its pinky, girthy beauty, I immediately licked the head, relishing in the taste of the few drops of precum already there, as well as in the loud moan that immediately escaped the man’s lips.        God, he was beautiful. And at least for tonight, he was all mine. I’d cherish every single second where I could taste his skin, explore his muscles, feel his lips on mine. I’d worry about the consequences tomorrow.        Making sure to keep my mind focused on this moment, I sucked on the head of his cock before slowly pushing more of it into my mouth. The sounds that he was emitting only served to make me wetter, to incentive my own movements on his member. I wanted to make him break. I wanted to taste his cum, to have it filling my mouth until it dripped from my closed lips.        So I pushed forward, sucking and swallowing around him when I had his cock deep inside my throat. The broken moans that Chris let out made it all worth it, every drop of sweat and tear that traveled down my body. His hands had found their way around my hair, and although he didn’t use it to guide my movements, it still made me feel hot like nothing else.        But when he did use his grip to pull me up, forcing me to release his hard cock, I whimpered at just how satisfactory that tiny bit of pain felt, while at the same time whining because he had separated me from my new obsession.        “I don’t want to stop,” I protested, ready to fight my way down his body again, but he only laughed, mocking me. Fuck why did this arouse me so much? I tried to rub my thighs together to alleviate some of the need that was already rising in me again, but of course, Chris caught on to that.

Chris’ P.O.V.

       I pulled her to my lips again, making sure to sit her on my lap so her warmness was pressing right over my throbbing cock. “I know you don’t want to stop, baby. I know you want to keep on sucking me until I cum deep inside your throat, but guess what?” I raised her only enough so I could get my member inside of her, grunting as I felt her tightness engulf me. “I’m gonna cum deep inside this pussy tonight.”        She only moaned loudly at my words, clawing at my chest as she struggled to find something to hold as I fucked up into her while pulling her back to me, manhandling her as if she were nothing but a doll, a toy for me to use.        “Fuck, your fucking pussy…” I could barely believe I was here, inside of her again. Only this time, it was so much more intense. There was no Sebastian to worry about. There was no condom to keep me from feeling exactly how wet and warm she was.        For a split second, the thought that I could get her pregnant flashed in my mind, but it was gone as quickly as it came. She must be on the pill now that she and Sebastian are official, right? At least, that’s what I used to ignore the fact that I didn’t want her to be.        “Chris, fuck, this fucking dick…” She whined, tears spilling out from between her closed eyelids as I continued to pound her. A warm feeling of satisfaction took over me, and I raised myself to my forearms before fully sitting, keeping her moving up and down my cock through my grip on her hips once more.        “You like it, baby? You like feeling me deep inside of you?” Her moans were music to my ears, especially since I’d spent so much time imagining them after fucking her for the first time. Just the little breathless gasps that she allowed herself to release then weren’t enough.        And I had the distinct feeling that fucking her would never be enough either, even after this unrestrained experience. I wanted to own her completely. The longer I spent inside of her, the clearer it was in my mind: I wanted what Sebastian had.        God, I wanted what Sebastian had.        “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever even met Sebastian.” She cried out when I pulled out until only the head of my cock was wrapped by her lower lips, only to forcefully push my way inside again.        “If you were mine, I’d never leave you empty. You’d be filled with my cock all day, every day, even after you begged me to stop fucking you. I’d just leave you here, warming me up, keeping me ready for when you were begging to be ruined again.” There was absolutely no filter to my words anymore. All I knew was me and her and this need to fuck her so well, she’d never forget how it felt to have me inside of her.        “Fuck, you’re so deep inside of me,” Y/N moaned, and it only spurred me on, watching her rub her lower belly, where she could feel me hitting from the inside. The sight of her hand over her stomach was too arousing and I lost control of my thrusts, but I had no idea why.        “I love being inside of you,” I confessed as I pulled out to make sure I wouldn’t cum that instant, instead manhandling her body until she was on her stomach, her ass pressed up at my member.        “Do you want to fuck me like this?” She asked, getting on our fours before turning around to meet my eyes from over her shoulder, and my cock throbbed just from the pure sin of the view before me. There were no words to describe how it felt to know that this was how Y/N behaved in bed, in her most vulnerable state. It felt even better to know that I was the one who had put her in that situation.        “Fuck yes,” I agreed, rubbing the head of my cock between her sensitive lips before slamming home, one of my hands making sure to wrap around her hair to pull her back against me. “I love doggy.”        The view of her ass bouncing as it hit my thighs prompted me to slap her right cheek, which in turn, made her gasp. “Me too,” she managed to get out, and for whatever reason, the confession only turned me on even further.        “Tell me more, tell me what else you like,” I begged, desperate to keep hearing her speak, to know what sort of filth goes through her mind, just so I could make this moment more real, feel like I owned her at least a little bit more than the actual truth.         “I like having your cock in my mouth.” The use of the present tense got to me way more than it should. I opened my mouth to beg her to shut up now, but before I could, she kept speaking, making me moan out loud instead as I gave myself over to this sinful pleasure. “I like feeling you stretch me open, it feels like you’re splitting me with this fucking cock. I’d let you.”        Those last words came out as a whine, exactly as I felt her pussy milking me dry. My orgasm was so intense, that I found myself admitting in the throes of pleasure, “Fuck,  I wish you were mine.” I kept thrusting, albeit slower, just to make sure that every last bit of my cum had gotten inside of her.         The idea that there was a slight possibility of breeding her was enough to keep my dick from softening. “I still want you,” she claimed, her hands pulling me to lie down in the bed beside her before she climbed up my body, our witnesses dripping on my chest. “I want more.”        “Me too, baby. Me too.”

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Apocalypse ch 6

Thanks for reading, please oh please like/comment/reblog

-

You tilted your head as you saw the defeated look on Loki’s face. “Oh, did I say something wrong?”

Loki looked away, “No, you’re fine, just.” He trailed off.

You leaned forward, spur of the moment and hugged him. “It’s so good to see you.”

“What?” Loki stiffened at the contact.

“I never thought I’d see you again after Tony’s, and the compound and just. You seemed better than what they made you out to be. You made a heroic sacrifice.”

For a moment Loki relaxed into your touch. “Oh.” His bloodied red eyes flickered in your direction. “I would say the same but.” He stopped.

You bit your lip, a shiver running through you at the cold. Slowly you nodded, your eyes scanning over the strange contraption on his neck. You were silent, wanting to reach out and touch it. Unbidden, your hand reached for it, sliding over the icy cold metal. It burned to touch through your gloves.

Loki pulled back, “Don’t.”

“What is it?”

“It’s best not to talk where wandering ears can hear.”

“Good point, let’s get to somewhere safe. Besides, it’s getting colder and later in the day. I can’t risk being out at dark, and you shouldn’t either. Without the sun, we’ll freeze to death in minutes.”

Loki chuckled, “I can assure you, I’ll be fine, but I appreciate the concern.”

You fought the urge to blurt out if it had something to do with his strange eyes, but you figured that was just some weird magic. Instead, you nodded and stood up, offering your hand to him.

Loki, touched the ground timidly, feeling for painful shards before pushing himself up.

You reached out and grabbed his arm, helping steady him. There was a brief moment where he scowled in your direction before he sighed and accepted your proffered hand. “Thank you.” Loki mumbled.

Nodding, you started to guide him slowly through the store and back the way you had come. You made sure to collect Loki’s daggers. One you gave to him, knowing he was more lethal with it than you, even without his sight and the other you kept in your hand. You watched for signs of the blue beasts as you trudged up the street. Somehow Loki seemed to float atop the snow, not sinking into it.

As you walked, you couldn’t help but toss admiring glances over your shoulder at Loki. Even with his hair mussed up from the fight, his body bent slightly in pain, and the bloodied face, he was as stunning as you remembered.

“You really don’t have to do this.” Loki muttered, breaking the eerie silence. Today there was no wind, just bitter cold.

“I know. I want to.”

“Why?”

“You made a great sacrifice for the people of Earth before the blip, you tried to save a lot of people. And the Avengers trusted you, Tony trusted you.” Your voice was muffled by your scarves.

Loki nodded, painfully, “I did. Why does it matter what Stark thinks?”

“Uh, did I mention he’s my, like, second cousin?”

Loki’s eyebrows rose, then he hissed in pain. “No, I don’t believe so. Is that why you were at the compound and his home?”

“Yea.”

“That doesn’t explain why you were so keen to be around me though.”

“I just wanted to get to know you. Is that so bad?”

“No one wants to know me without an ulterior motive.”

You blinked, nearly stumbling to a halt and causing Loki to walk into you. “What?”

Loki grunted, stumbling and righting himself as he gripped your coat. “What?”

“People don’t just, be your friend?”

“Can we move on? And will you stop staring it’s disconcerting.”

“I’m not staring.” You felt your cheeks heat up, “I’m just making sure you’re still nearby.”

“I’m sure you could tell by the fact that I’m holding your arm.” Loki smirked.

You jerked your chin, “Over there, that’s my building.”

Loki nodded, panting heavily. “Good. This body is weak.”

“You say that like it’s not your own.”

Loki clenched his jaw and with his free hand grabbed at the device on his neck. It only served to dig into his pale skin further.

“Please don’t, it looks like that hurts you.” You mumbled, glancing back again as you guided him nearer the building.

Opening and closing the door, behind the two of you, you stepped inside. The two of you made your way to your room and you stepped within, turning the heat up as high as you could, before looking around with a smile.

“Tah-dah!” You said, stretching your arms out happily.

Loki gazed blindly around the room, “It seems adequate.”

“Probably not what you’re used to.”

He shrugged, “It will suffice.”

“Here,” You guided him over to the bed and had him sit down. The sun was hitting the horizon outside and you were thankful you had made it into the safety of your home in time.

Slowly you stripped your outer layers of clothes, hanging them in the corner to let the gathered snow melt and dry for the next day’s excursion.

Loki sat stock still on the bed, back ramrod straight and you found yourself wondering what he was thinking. You ended up in a thick sweater and sweatpants with woolen socks, though you found you did not need your gloves today. It seemed the added person in the room was contributing enough heat to make you a bit warmer.

“Hey, do you have anything you want to change into…?” You trailed off realizing how dumb that sounded. Loki didn’t have a bag with him. Then again he was a sorcerer, maybe he could just magic some clothes.

Loki shut his eyes bitterly and dug his fingers into his knees. “All I have is this.”

“Well, my neighbor across the hall was your height, maybe we can scrounge up something from him. Let me go look.”

-

Moments’ later you were back, shivering, with a pile of the warmest clothes you could find in a hurry. As well as any necessities you thought a man Loki’s size and apparent age might appreciate, the creature comforts he might want. You dumped them on the bed.

“Did realize he was an ER tech. Or something with medicine. No wonder he was always coming home at weird hours.”

Loki lifted up a thick sweatshirt and soft black sweat pants. He shook his head irritably, “These are not fit for…” the words caught in his throat.

You sat down next to him and couldn’t stop the instinctive action of placing your hand on his thigh.

Loki stiffened at the contact.

You quickly pulled your hand away. “Sorry.” You squeaked.

Loki coughed, standing up and removing his cape. Then slowly he stripped his shirt.

You told yourself you were going to look away, you were going to give him privacy. But he just took his shirt off right in front of you.

For a moment you ogled his toned back muscles, hardened from years of dedication to his craft.

Then the moment was lost and you noticed the injuries.

“Loki.” You whispered, standing up and reaching out to touch his skin gently. A rare pale place that seemed free of bruises, cuts, scars, or other maladies.

Loki’s muscles rippled beneath your hand as he stiffened at your touch, a visible shiver running through him. Spinning around, Loki looked at you warily. “What?”

“These are fresh. Why didn’t you say the blue creature had injured you so? I didn’t know it was able to do that much damage to a god.”

“I’m not a god.” Loki spat bitterly, “I’m mortal.”

You had reached out to touch another cut still bleeding on his chest, causing Loki to hiss.

“Woman, do you always touch painful injuries, or do you make an exception for me?” He asked irritably.

You felt your cheeks flush, “Sorry.” Turning you reached for the first aid supplies your ER neighbor had kept at home. “Here, let me help.” There was anti bruising cream, sutures, and plenty of gauze. You cleaned each of the wounds as best you could, finding occasional shards of glass, rocks, or plaster in some of the deeper cuts and used tweezers to dig it out. Loki would wince from time to time at the deepest and largest pieces, but otherwise he remained mostly silent.

When you finally got to his face and his eyes, you poured warm water around them, cleaning the dried blood. “I wish I knew how to treat them.” You glanced down at the contraption on his neck, “and that thing.” You tugged on it gently.

Loki grunted, “Don’t, you’ll just dig it in worse.”

“What put that on you?”

“The Allfather, king of the nine realms.”

“Isn’t that… isn’t that your uh dad?”

“Adopted. But yes. Dear old dad.”

“That’s barbaric, you’re bleeding from it!”

Loki smiled sadly. “Indeed.”

You wrapped the gauze around his head, covering his eyes and figured it would soak up the last of the blood until it stopped, then you could remove it once again. After that, well you didn’t know what you’d do about him being unable to see. Given that Odin was part of the reason Loki was in such a predicament, you figured he wouldn’t kill you for letting his son go blind.

“Well, here.” You said after a quiet moment, helping Loki pull the hoodie on.

Loki’s red eyes stared in your direction forlornly when the hoodie was on and your hands had pulled away from him. Almost instinctually he had pulled toward you. But now, with the hoodie separating you, he shifted away once more.

“Loki?”

“Hm?” Loki hummed in response, shoulders hunched and placed his hands between his legs as he sat staring unseeing into the distance.

You wanted to ask him the last time he’d been touched, hugged, held, instead you asked, “When is the last time you slept?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Humans can’t go very long without sleep.”

“Neither can Asgardians, and yet I have often done so.”

You tilted your head curiously. “That’s not very healthy.”

“No, I suppose not.”

Throwing caution to the wind, you reached up and rubbed his shoulder blades, knowing that was one of the lesser injured places. At first he stiffened at your touch, but slowly he seemed to relax, warily. “What are you doing?” He finally asked after a few moments.

“It calms me.” You admitted truthfully. How long had you been by yourself? You were lonely, scared, on edge. The rhythmic circles lulled you. It would be better if he had done so to you, but you knew he needed them more.

Loki looked slightly to the side of you suspiciously. “Very well.”

“Remember at the tower?”

“It has been some time.”

“You’d be in your recovery bed resting. I’d bring whatever books I could find and read to you.”

Loki smiled fondly at the memory. “You had some peculiar choices.”

“I’m not the most well read person, I’ll be honest. But you did enjoy Shakespeare.”

Loki chuckled. Round and round your hand smoothed over the soft texture of the hoodie. “Yes, he could compete with the bards of Asgard.”

“You kept telling me I should try reading a real book. I wanted to flick your nose so bad, but you weren’t so bad, you just needed someone to listen to you.”

Loki chuckled, “Not so bad.” He stifled a yawn.

“And then I discovered you could do magic. Real, powerful magic. Dr. Strange could do magic, but he was only just learning, and without the Eye of Agammoto to cheat, he was stuck learning at a human pace and now, he was pathetically behind. He didn’t know what real power was.”

“Now you’re just flattering me.”

“It’s true! You could tell me what real magic looked like, tell me what a real sorcerer was capable of.”

Loki held out his hand and then sighed, a strangled cracking sound in his throat as he clenched his teeth.

“Loki, I didn’t mean it that way, I just. I wanted you to tell me about you. What fascinates you, what was the first book you read, when did you first ride a horse, fight a monster…?” Kiss someone… woah now where did that thought come from?

You pulled your turtleneck up to cover your cheeks.

Loki turned towards you. “You really want to know those things?”

You had stopped rubbing his back, “Yea. They sound interesting. Why not? You’re fascinating.”

“We spoke of this earlier, what do you gain?”

“Well, I hoped we were friends at the time, and I wouldn’t mind being friends now, if not allies, we’re both living in a dangerous world. I take it if you’re mortal, you’re not in Odin’s good graces and you could use someone to watch your back. I… I could do that.” You offered sheepishly.

You quailed under Loki’s blind gaze. He couldn’t physically see you, yet he could see into your soul now.

“Allies, friends?” Loki asked slowly.

You smiled at him. “Yes. And hey, maybe we can brainstorm ideas to get that nasty neck thing off you, in the morning though. I’m beat, I need to sleep.”

“Oh, right.” Loki stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“To give you privacy.”

“The bed is big enough for two, besides, it’ll be warmer if we’re both in it.” You couldn’t believe you were suggesting that.

Loki turned his head down at you. “Very well.” Sitting down, he slowly removed his boots and began to fumble with his trousers.

Your eyes widened as you realized he was going to change into the sweatpants you had procured for him. You dove under the covers on your side and scrunched your eyes shut. Breathing heavily as you tried not to picture what he might look like.

The bed indented on the other side as Loki climbed in next to you.

“Pet, are you hiding?” He asked curiously. You could hear the amusement in his voice.

“No. No.” You stammered, trying to strengthen your voice and keep the pitch from being so nervous.

“Very well. Sleep well then.” Loki grunted at the contraption as he rolled over and then lay still.

You lay on your back for hours, staring up at the ceiling. It was true the bed felt much warmer with him nearby, though you weren’t sure that was actually the shared body heat so much as…

You swallowed and risked a glance towards Loki’s sleeping form. His chest rose in deep even breaths. Watching it rise and fall you began to count, slowly, steadily, you too were lulled to sleep.

[matthewtkachuk]

nicotine – rafe (scout’s writing challenge)

You’re already addicted to cigarettes, and Rafe is worse than nicotine.

Loosely based on Panic! At The Disco’s Nicotine.

Warnings: cigarette usage, mention of drugs, implied smut, angst

Pairing: Rafe x reader

Words: 1.9k

A/N: Sorry this isn’t the next part of feel something, but I was inspired and wanted to write for @ptersparkers​ writing challenge. I said I wanted to write fluff, but this came out instead. Hope y’all like it!

The outer banks air is unseasonably cold tonight, and the hand not holding a cigarette rests deeply in your hoodie pocket as you take a drag. You’re standing on the beach in your backyard, waiting for your best friend, and sometimes lover, Rafe to arrive. You inhale the nicotine and exhale a moment later, blowing smoke from your lips.

“I wish you would quit,” a soft voice says from behind you. You spin around and come face to face with the man you were waiting for. You roll your eyes as you comprehend what he has just said.

“Why?” you ask, “we’re all going to die eventually, I didn’t think I needed to tell you that what with your habits. Besides, why not have a little fun before we go?” Nonetheless, you put out your cigarette against a tree.

“I fail to see how smoking on a cancer stick is fun,” he replies dryly. You laugh, which only seems to annoy him. Here he is, chastising you over a simple cigarette, when you’ve seen him take multiple bumps in a single evening. Quickly closing the distance between you, you reach up to pull his face down to your level. He towers over your shorter frame, always having to drop his head to meet your waiting lips.

“I could show you ‘fun’ if you like,” you whisper. He raises an eyebrow, as if challenging you, and you press your lips to his. Your thoughts scatter and all you know is that you want him. You want to be close to him, you want to feel his heart beat, you want to feel him inside of you. The kiss deepens, and his hands roam your body, teasing strokes up and down your hips, drifting down to squeeze your ass. When you finally pull back for air, you’re gasping. You look up at him and all you see are his eyes, heavy with lust. Your knees feel weak, your vision spinning slightly. You realize then that he is like a drug, and you, an addict.

It is at that moment, when you remember the cold. Biting your lip, you push Rafe inside your patio doors, stopping to close the door behind you. And then you are kissing again, hands everywhere, clothing quickly discarded. You don’t know what to think or feel, right now you’re consumed by the feel of him all over you.

You wake to an empty bed, unsurprisingly. This is typical of your friendship with Rafe. By night lovers, and by morning… nothing. You can’t deny, this is not a healthy situation by any means. Your other friends warn you that you are going to hurt each other. You know realistically that situations like yours do not end happily, but you’re happy. For now. You don’t know what the future holds, be it heartbreak or something else, but you prefer to live in the moment. And the moment is Rafe.

You break from your thoughts and slowly make your way out of bed. You stretch for a long moment and feel the satisfying pop of cracking bones. You decide a quick shower won’t hurt, as you scrub the feeling of Rafe’s body on yours and let it wash down the drain. 

You sit in your robe for a few minutes, hair up in a towel, deciding on what you’ll wear today. You promised Rafe you would watch movies with him today, not knowing just how heated last night would turn out. Okay, that’s a lie, you had a feeling that’s how last night would turn out because that’s how the nights usually turn out. Before you realize it, you’ve zoned out for almost half an hour so you quickly dress in a pair of high waisted shorts and a crop top before throwing your hair up in a messy ponytail. A little eyeliner completes the look and you don’t even bother with any additional makeup knowing the obx sun will make quick work of it. You run down the stairs, not bothering to be quiet as you know neither of your parents are home. 

It’s a quick walk to Rafe’s, as your houses are right next to each other.

“Hey y/n!” Sarah greets as she and Wheezie exit the front door of their house just as you arrive.

“Hey guys,” you smile at them, throwing your arms around them in a hug, “where are you ladies headed to this morning?”

Wheezie breaks free of the hug first. “We thought we should give you and Rafe some alone time,” Sarah answers with a wink. You sigh deeply. The two Cameron sisters are convinced Rafe and you are soul mates, and they’ll do anything in their power to try and make the two of you see it. Though, truth be told, there are times when you can see Rafe as your boyfriend, but most of the time, it seems to be the craziest of pipe dreams.

“Goodbye girls,” you call over your shoulder as you step into the foyer. Rafe is sitting in the living room, he’s wearing a cream colored Henley and the red snapback you love so much. His entire focus seems to be Instagram, judging by the way his thumb is scrolling through his phone. He turns when he hears the sound of the door clicking shut and smiles at you, motioning for you to join him on the couch. You drop your bag and kick off your shoes, before taking your usual spot beside Rafe.

“What do you want to watch?” he asks, but you merely shrug.

“You’re the one who invited me here,” you answer. You bicker slightly over who should chose the movie before settling on a traditional action movie. You’re not interested in the plot of the movie, to say the least. You’re more aware of Rafe’s arm around you, and the feelings growing in the pit of your stomach. You rest your head against Rafe’s shoulder, and he shifts to make you more comfortable.

During the two hours of the movie, you reflect on your unconventional friendship with Rafe. The more you think about it, the more you realize that you are growing actual, real, feelings for Rafe. That thought fills you with anxiety, as you realize that was the last thing either of you had wanted. That’s not true, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve been in love with Rafe since you were nine years old. Growing up beside the Camerons, it was only natural that you befriended the neighbour boy with the dirty blonde hair who was in your class. As you grew closer and older, that natural friendship morphed into something a little more. You decide it would be better to distract yourself from your thoughts, so you lean up and gently kiss Rafe.

He doesn’t respond to your advances right away, so you decide to change tactics, and move your lips from his mouth, down his jaw. Your right hand drifts teasingly over the front of his pants. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows air. You smirk a little, knowing you are getting to him. A thought occurs to you then, and you feel the need to share. “You’re worse than nicotine,” you whisper in-between each kiss. A look of confusion passes through his eyes, but you continue kissing down his neck, briefly stopping to suck on his pulse point, until he leans down and captures your mouth with his. Your hands somehow find themselves tangled in his hair after flipping his snapback off his head, and you lean into his embrace. His hand slips under your shirt, but you grab it and pull yourself away from him.

“What is it?” He asks, slightly out of breath.

“Rafe I- I have something to confess… I have feelings for you.” you confess. He pauses, and you can tell right away his reaction is not one you’re going to like.

“Y/n… I’m sorry, you’re my best friend and I love you, and, God, you can do wonderful things with your mouth, but I don’t think of you like that,” He finally speaks, somewhat awkwardly.

“Oh,” is all you can think of to reply. You realize you’ve made a horrible mistake and may have permanently wrecked the best friendship you’ve ever had. Your hand flies to cover your mouth as you process what you’ve just done. “I- I have to go, I have this thing and-“ you jump up from the couch, and grab your things before dashing out the door.

“Y/n, wait!” Rafe calls after you, but you ignore him, racing to return to your house before breaking down like a lunatic.

A part deep inside of you knew that revealing your feelings for Rafe would not end well, but you childishly thought that perhaps, just this once, your feelings would be reciprocated. You find it hard to breathe, much like last night, but as an almost opposite reaction. If you could go back you wouldn’t have said anything, you would have kept your mouth shut. Your hands shake as you try to put your key into the lock on your door, and you hear thundering footsteps behind me. Silently sending a prayer, please don’t be Rafe, please don’t be Rafe. Your prayers are not answered however, when you see the tall and muscular form of your best friend round the corner.

“Y/n…” He looks at you like he wants to say something, but pauses, “let’s talk inside.” You numbly nod. He takes your keys from you and easily unlocks the door.

You both sit in the kitchen a few minutes later. You’re nursing a wine cooler between your hands and Rae sits there staring at you.

“Y/n, I wanted to talk to you about what just happened.” He remarks.

“What just happened… it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have said anything,” you quietly reply.

“I’m… I’m glad you told me,” Rafe appears to be choosing his words carefully, as he stops and thinks for a moment, “I don’t want you to keep secrets from me.”

“But I just made things so awkward! I should have kept my mouth shut,” you say, standing up, pausing before revealing what’s really on your mind, “I can’t lose you.” 

“You’ll never lose me,” Rafe tries to reassure you. There’s something in his eyes that makes you believe him. There’s something else in them, the way the pupils are dilated, that causes your throat to constrict and your heart to beat a little faster.

Before you fully comprehend your own body’s actions, you and Rafe are tangled in one another again. You know it’s a terrible idea, fucking Rafe won’t solve your problems, won’t make him love you. You realize that your earlier words ring true. To you, Rafe is worse than nicotine. You’re well and truly addicted. You also realize that you can’t continue to do this to yourself. Your feelings for Rafe won’t disappear, and you know that Rafe can never love you back the way you want him to. 

This is the last time, you promise yourself, giving into Rafe’s hands on your body and his lips on your neck.

Just one more hit and then we’re through Cause you’ll never love me back You’re worse than nicotine

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Worthy of Everything (Part 3) - fic

Characters: Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne Summary: “I’ve got you, Damian. Now let’s get you home.” A/N: Location is based on that page in TEC 1029 where they show Damian reading the casebook. Also, can’t tell if Damian’s new uni is black or gray based on the three issues it’s been fully seen in so...have fun with my vague guess haha. Dick sends a picture of Damian sleeping with his pets to only Barbara, the only one that I can see in canon who has given a shit about Damian and his emotional state in the last year, to confirm that he actually found him. Damian still spends a lot of his time apologizing for things that aren’t actually his fault and it breaks Dick’s heart, but he helps as best he can. Purposeful parallels to part one huzzah!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

~~

It was an old observation tower, in the historic district. Disused since the 80s, but not run down. Still owned by the city, if he was remembering correctly, and still got annual inspections, just in case it was ever needed to be reopened.

So the building was stable, just empty. And could see all of Gotham City.

Of course Damian would come here. It was so obvious. They touted that they were the family of the world’s greatest detectives, and it didn’t occur to a single one of them. Didn’t occur to Bruce.

They should all be ashamed.

Dick took a deep inhale, ignored the butterflies in his stomach, and the tears already threatening to mist over his vision.

God, he missed this kid. He missed his kid.

The threat of tears was the joy he wanted to feel, the joy he knew was coming. How long did he have that stupid amnesia? How long was he gone? Too long, no matter the actual number.

The butterflies were the fact that he knew Damian. Knew what he heard on that phone call. Knew Damian was a feral cat on a good day, always ready to run, always halfway gone even if he was standing there.

It’d been a few days since they talked, what if Damian changed his mind? What if he already ran? Dick could be walking into an empty building, abandoned again, and he honestly didn’t know if he could take that. Didn’t know if he could take losing Damian again.

To death, to amnesia, to Bruce – how many times has he lost Damian already? How many times could his boy be ripped from his fingers?

He swallowed the lump in his throat and moved forward.

Damian would be here. He had to be.

He walked up to the door, locked by a numbered keypad, and saw that it was propped open. That was a good sign.

He stepped inside, and stood there for a moment, listening. There was nothing, not even the skittering of rodents. No footsteps. No hints of life at all. That was a bad sign.

The stairs were off in the corner and Dick practically ran to them, taking them two at a time. He huffed as he reached the landing, looking both ways down the expanse of the hallway that curved in front of him. There were doors along the outer walls, ones that clearly went to the rooms that could see out to the city. A few doors on the inner walls, probably closets and bathrooms and the like.

That was fine. He’d search every one if he had to.

So he started with the one closest to him.

But the butterflies turned into moths as he walked, as he checked more rooms that ended up empty. More rooms that had no hints that anyone had been there. No beds or clothes or food wrappers.

Turned into birds as he got halfway around the circle, with sharp beaks and talons, ripping at his insides. He’s not here, his mind began to supply giddily. He’s already gone. Doesn’t trust you like he doesn’t trust Bruce.

No, he tried to fight back. He’s here. He knows I would never-

As he caught first sight of the stairs ahead, stomach dropping knowing he’d done a full lap, he heard a door close. A heavy door, like one to the outside.

He ran, believing it to be the door he’d come in, that Damian had just left. But as he reached the landing that overlooked the lobby, he saw the door was still propped open. He glanced to another set of steps nearby. Smaller ones, that went to a rooftop entrance. He was going to check there last.

“Damian?” He finally called. He’d waited on that, in case there were other squatters here, other villains. But now that there was a sign of life, a sign someone was here, he couldn’t hold back.

No answer.

It must have been him going on the roof, Dick decided, so he rushed to the smaller stairs, and took them just as quickly as he’d taken the first set. As he reached the door, he slammed into it, throwing it open.

But…there was nothing.

Again, no signs that anyone had been up here. But almost worse than that, no signs of someone leaving either. There was no claws of a grapple hooked to the roof. No tied off rope. Not even any potential scorch or tire marks from a potential vehicle, or hookup for a glider.

So…was it Damian coming back in?

He’d never left the doorway, so immediately just twirled back around on his toes.

There.

A door on the inner ring, one of the closets that he’d already checked, was open just a crack, but that was all Dick needed. Because he could see the dim light of the hall bouncing off a pair of eyes, the shadow of a face under a hood.

And just like the phone call: “I know you’re there, kiddo.” He smiled as he started back down the stairs, slower this time. “I can see you.”

Damian blinked, and seemed to almost shrink back, just a little.

“I’m not leaving.” Dick promised. “And if you run, I’m chasing you.”

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, the door opened just a little, like it was a twitch, or a hesitation, before pulling open completely.

Damian stood there, in an unrecognizable uniform. All dark grays and blacks, save for an almost white chest plate and silver boots.

But Dick didn’t care about that. He cared more about how tall Damian was now, and how he’d missed that growth. How Damian looked a little thinner than he remembered, and there were the starts of dark bags under his eyes.

“…You came?” Damian asked quietly, stepping forward.

“Of course I did.” Dick laughed. Those joyful tears were beginning to form in his eyes now. “You doubted me?”

He wasn’t hurt by the idea, and frankly didn’t blame Damian if he thought so anyway. He’d been hurt by so many people who claimed to love him before, Bruce and Talia number one on that list, why would Dick be any different?

“No.” Damian said simply. “I just…hoped you’d change your mind.”

Dick blinked, stepped forward. His heart broke as Damian took an immediate step back, but not towards the closet. Towards the steps to the outside.

“You shouldn’t see me like this. Shouldn’t want to see me like this.” Damian murmured, dropping his gaze. “Not after what I’ve done.”

“And what did you do?” Dick asked, already knowing. Bruce had told him. The prison under Mercy Hall. Potentially killing Brother Blood. None of it mattered to him.

That wasn’t what Damian confessed to, though.

“I killed Alfred. It was my fault.” Damian said, like it was an actual fact. And Dick instantly wondered how many times he’d been told that, that he believed it. Who told him that, that he believed it.

How many times Bruce told him that, that he believed it?

“No, kiddo. You didn’t.” Dick tried softly. “Bane did, and I know you had to watch. I’m so sorry that those bastards made you watch, but there was nothing you could have done.”

But Damian was shaking his head. “I didn’t try to help you.” He continued. “When…when you rejected us after you woke up, I…I guess I rejected you.”

“Convinced yourself I was gone, so it would hurt less. I get that.” Dick nodded. “I don’t blame you for that. I would have done the same thing. Hell, I did. Or do you forget that after you died, I left the country and pretended to be a spy, instead of confront the fact that you weren’t here and our family was in shambles?”

“I never visited, I never checked in. Even Father did that, in his roundabout way.” Damian sighed, but glanced up. His eyes looked so old. So tired. “I never came after you.”

“So?”

“So why did you come after me?” Damian almost sounded like he was begging, hands laid out in front of him. “Why did you waste your time?”

Dick blinked, then smiled. “Because I love you.”

Damian’s hands instantly balled into fists. “Well, you shouldn’t.”

“And like I told you before, you don’t get to tell me that I can’t.” He took a step forward, and was happily surprised when Damian didn’t step back. “And honestly? At this point, I’m going to love you out of spite. Just to annoy you. Just to be an asshole.”

He took another step forward, and they were only feet apart now. Damian just stared up at him.

“…I don’t deserve it.” Damian whispered. “Not after what I’ve done. I don’t deserve you.”

Dick took another step forward, and now they were chest to chest. Just like he was with Bruce in the kitchen. Only now there was no anger. There was only relief.

“Opposite, actually.” Dick grinned. Damian just stared up at him in wonder. “None of us ever deserved you, Damian.”

Damian blinked, and his eyes were instantly watery, his lip trembling against his will.

“…Grayson?” He breathed. And that was all Dick needed. He reached out and enveloped Damian into his arms. Held him as close and as tightly as physics would allow. Laughed when his tears fell onto Damian’s hood.

“I’m here, kiddo.” He murmured, holding the back of his head as Damian slowly returned the embrace. Squeezed as hard as he could. “I found you.”

Damian nodded, dug his nails into Dick’s back. “Thank you.”

“Titus and your cat are at my apartment waiting for you. So are a warm bed and a hot meal. Probably haven’t seen either of those in a while have you?” Dick asked softly.

“Too busy.” Damian admitted. And that’s why Dick never saw the remnants of food, or a bed. Because he didn’t sleep, didn’t eat. Focused too hard on work that wasn’t his. Just like his goddamn father.

Well, that was going to change.

“Well, not anymore you’re not.” Dick decided. He waited a moment, let them stand in silence for a second, then tightened his grip on Damian’s shoulders, buried his face against his hood. “I’m so glad I found you, kiddo.”

Damian didn’t argue this time. Just locked his hands together behind Dick’s back and repeated, “Thank you.” Another moment, and suddenly Damian tried to lean away. “…Father?”

But Dick didn’t let him. Refused to let go, refused to give Damian even an inch. “Not if you don’t want to.” Dick swore against his head. “We won’t see anyone else, not if you don’t want to.”

And that seemed to be it. Seemed to be the final bit of assurance for Damian to finally accept what was happening, whose arms he was engulfed in. He all but slumped into Dick’s hold then, and let himself cry. Let himself sob like he did on the phone.

Dick only smiled.

“I’ve got you, Damian.” Dick promised. “Now, let’s get you home.” A second, then an amendment. “Let’s get you to our home.”

Dick gathered Damian up in his arms, laughed when Damian grumbled about being carried, relished the feeling of holding his little brother again, of knowing he was never letting go, never losing him again, not this time – and they did.

[dprwolfgang]

2. Can I? (m)

Gif - @imjaebeoum​

Smut!!

Remember to wrap it before you tap it.

Hope y’all enjoy. 

“Jae.” She calls out as she enters the apartment. Shoes off at the door she pads through the apartment in search of Jaebum.

She throws her bag on his bed just as he exits the bathroom. Hair still damp from the shower he must’ve taken as he slips a white t-shirt over his head.

“I missed you, happy birthday.” Arms wrapped around his waist and a feather light kiss pressed to his back as he applies moisturizer to his hair.

He doesn’t need to reply for her to know that he missed her as well. It’s in the way he looks at her once he turns in her arms. The way he caresses her face as he angles it towards him so that he can press a kiss to her lips.

“It is now that you’re here.” He smiles at her. “How was your day?” He asks as he lifts her in his arms and walks them over to his bed where he sits up against the headboard with her in his lap.

“Shitty..” she sighs raising her head from his chest. Arms around his neck as she plays with his hair. He found it adorable how she found comfort in doing the most mundane things like playing with his hair or his ears or even just tracing the contours of his face and though she thinks it’s weird he enjoys it.

“Is Christian still being mean to you?” She nods and sighs. Jaebum knows that whatever is going on between her and Christian is bothering her especially since he’s like an older brother to her.

“I can handle Ian, honestly I’m just stressed about finishing this final semester and applying for grad school plus I need to stop slacking on gym day. I just need a breather.” She rests her head on his shoulder and snuggles closer to him.

“You know you can always come over, even when I’m not here right? I gave you the code for a reason. I already told you that you don’t need to lose any more weight.” He says twirling her hair around his finger.

“It’s not the same especially when you leave for tour. I just come by and make sure everything is in check and maybe smuggle a shirt or four. I didn’t even lose that much.” Jaebum chuckles and the sounds vibrates through his chest.

He didn’t mind her taking his shirts, quite frankly he found that they looked much better on her especially in the mornings when she stays over and is at the stove making breakfast or standing in front of the ceiling to floor windows sipping on her preferred brew that morning. He liked it even more when she wore nothing underneath as it gave him easy access to the ambrosia between her thighs. Jaebum didn’t care that she wasn’t some dainty little princess either well she was his princess but he liked-loves- her full figure. Her soft womanly curves that he loves running his hands over, her tummy that she didn’t quite like but he couldn’t help but rub every time she laid with him. It was something that had become quite soothing for him as they got closer. He didn’t want her to lose weight because he thought she was perfect the way she was but he also knew that it was her body and if she felt like losing weight the only thing he could do was support her. He prayed she didn’t lose those thick thighs the most, he could spend the entirety of winter between those and not be cold which is why he often found himself being the little spoon during cuddle sessions. Between her thighs, legs wrapped around his waist with his head on her chest as she played with his hair or ears, Jaebum swore that was some of the best sleep he’d ever had.

“Jae, baby what are you thinking about?” She questions.

“Nothing really” he says not wanting to give away where his thoughts had gone. They weren’t even sexual but he knew he was aroused.

“Then why are you hard?” She teases as she bounces on his lap once. He groans as he grips onto her waist.

“The guys are picking me up in less than an hour, don’t start nothing we can’t finish baby.” He whispers in her ear as his palm smooths over the curve of her ass before smacking it lightly, feeling it jiggle against his palm.

“We’ve made each other cum in less.” She bites back grinding down on his lap.

He lets out a pleased hum before turning to his side, flipping them over so that he���s situated above her. “Careful what you wish for sweetheart.” He nips at her earlobe as he makes his way down her neck.

Hands that once caressed her sides slides to her knees, spreading her legs apart and fitting himself between them. “Are you sure you gotta work today? It’s your birthday.” He didn’t have to look up to know she was frowning and as much as he’d love to spend the rest of his birthday with her, the session had already been booked.

“It’s not gonna be that long, it’s just to finalize some things and then I’m gonna come back here for you and we’re gonna go chill for a bit until we decide to come home and cuddle.” He smiles brightly up at her from his position between her legs. “Until then however, I want a taste, it’s been so long and I know you’ve been pent up from the stress of school and exams. Can I?” He asks but he already knows the answer as his fingers hook in the waist of her tights under her skirt pulling it down along with her underwear and tossing them over his shoulders.

With school and work she was preoccupied until the week before Christmas and by then Jaebum had already left to visit his family for the holidays. He had only gotten back over the weekend for work and didn’t have any time to go see her.

“Please..” she whispers threading her fingers in dark hair. His thumb traces circles into her outer thighs as he takes a tentative lick at the nectar between her thighs. Jaebum groans lowly before he throws both her legs over his shoulders and reacquaints his face with her sweet cunt. He loved the way her body reacted to him, he relished in the fact that he was the first to bring out a side of her that she’d kept hidden because of insecurities.

“Jae, b-baby fuuuck just like that.” She moans out at the little bites he places on her clit. Her little penchant for pain mixed with pleasure released a side of Jaebum that he didn’t think much about before her. Sure he’d read about fans saying that he held a very dominating aura and while his sex life before her was not vanilla, the things they did with each other were down right filthy and he loved every second of it.

“God you treat this pussy so good baby.” She grips on his hair and pulls him closer to her heat, rolling her hips up against his tongue. Hands locked firmly on her thighs, he flips them both over so that she’s sitting on his face. He knew she low key enjoyed it but would never say it out loud because she had this fear of suffocating Jaebum between her thighs and to be honest he honestly didn’t think it was a bad way to go.

Her hips still on his face but one harsh nip to the inside of her thigh and she’s gripping his hair again fucking herself on his tongue. He knew she was close, he prided himself on the fact that he could make her lose herself with just his mouth and maybe, just maybe he had developed a bit of an oral fixation.  

“Close…baby please,” she whines.  “Fuck yessss… make me cum.” She whispers looking him in his eyes. Thighs shaking on either side of his head, she releases onto his awaiting tongue and he happily licks her clean. She falls next to him on the bed trying to catch her breath and he chuckles lightly at the blissed out look on her face.

“My ego’s gonna go to the roof if you keep looking at me like that every time we get done.”

Propped up on one elbow she laughs at his comment, quickly leaning over and kissing him. “Your turn.”

“As much as I’d love that, we got like fifteen minutes before the boys come bursting through my front door…ten max.” Without a word she rolls onto her stomach and pushes backwards until she’s on her knees, back arched and cheeks shaking to tease him.

He laughs at her antics knowing that she knew exactly what she was doing. Kicking of his sweats he angles her body to face the long mirror he has behind his bedroom door. Stood behind her, she winks when they make eye contact and Jaebum grips her hips with one hand, the other in her hair as he pulls her back against his chest and down on to his awaiting length. He pulls out ready to slide back in but instead hears “Yo, JB!” and the slamming of his front door.

“Shit.” he mumbles against the side of her head looking at her pleading eyes in the mirror. This wasn’t the first time they’d been deep in each other only for someone to appear on the other side of the door. The last time had been her friend Mariah who’d come over to chill unexpectedly. Both hid in the closet in her bedroom and fucked for a good half hour before Mariah eventually left after trying to call her and got no reply as her phone always went on do not disturb when they spent quality time together.  

“You’re my good girl aren’t you princess?” She nods at him. “ you’re gonna stay quiet and let me fuck you with my brothers right on the other side of that door?”  

“Yeah..” she whispers breathlessly, her pupils dilated as she takes in the sight of Jaebum’s damp hair, the hand on her hip holding her skirt up to display the way they connect and the hand that had traded her hair for her throat. “So are you gonna fuck me or not daddy?” She smirks at him.

“Hyung, are you ready?” a voice calls from outside his bedroom door as he slides back into her and starts a brutal pace. Hand tightening slightly around her neck he fucks into her like hated her.

“Hyung?” Yugyeom he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, just got out the shower, give me like ten minutes and I’ll be out.” He shouts out never faltering in his thrusts. Her walls clench around his length and he bites into her shoulder to muffle the loud moan that escapes his mouth. The hand on her hip slides down between her thighs rubbing figure eights on her clit. Her back arches off his chest and Jaebum removes his hand from her throat letting her fall onto her stomach.

“That’s it princess…so fucking tight no matter how many times I stretch you out.” Her cunt clenches tightly around his length at that.Two sharp thrusts and she grabbing at one of the pillows on his bed and moaning into it as her orgasm washes over her. Thighs twitching, he doesn’t give her time to come down from her high as he starts back a brutal pace hurdling towards his end. Jaebum covers her body with his, face hidden between her neck and shoulder groaning and moaning as he fills her up with his warm seed. He feels her walls tighten around him once more as he body twitches under him.

“Shit, did you just cum again?” He chuckles grinning from ear to ear.

“Mhmm..” she mumbles as she turns her head to face him. Jaebum kisses her forehead and nose before pulling out of her and heading for his bathroom. Quickly cleaning up himself, he heads straight for his closet grabbing a pair of jeans and a jacket to throw over his t-shirt as it was cold outside.

She’s still lying on her stomach when he’s finished getting dressed and so he flips her onto her back and drops to his knees cleaning up the mess he made between her thighs. He presses a kiss to her mound once he’s done and laughs when she shuts her legs and swats her hands at him. He helps her out of her skirt and pulls down the sweatshirt he recognizes as his own over her thighs before pulling his covers over her body. A soft kiss to her lips and forehead before he realizes that she’s asleep. Turning off the light he quietly slips out of his room and down the hall to his living room to meet his brothers and head out.

Jackson pulls him into a hug as soon as he sees him only to pull back, face scrunched up. “Why’s your shirt all wet bro?”

“Shower, no time to dry my hair properly.” He says smoothly while ushering them out his front door and locking up behind him. Once they get to the van and settle in, he’s pulling out his phone and sending her a text to wake up to.  

[callmemythicalminx]

❄️4th of December❄️

❄️ Snowman ~ Sam Trapani x Reader ❄️

Fandom: Mafia Definitive Edition

Warnings: Mentions of trauma but it’s not explicit.

Summary: Sam’s stressed and closed off from you. Knowing your singing helps calm him down, you play the piano for him in the hopes he’ll open up.

A/N: This a music themed fic I’ve wanted to do for a while as this song always reminds me of Sam. It’s Snowman by Sia if you’d like to listen to it while reading. It’s a short but sweet fic so please enjoy!

Dedicated to:  @kaiiiiiiparkerismyhusband @lolita-wolfson @xxsamanthaxx @kneelingforvillains @loutino20 @levitate-gengar @dorothynerding ​ @blackbladevika ​ @my-blog-for-me ​ @rammstein-obsession ​ @octorebel @demonsouthere ​@mayday1284

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The bed is cold. Too cold. Your hand reaches out for Sam, seeking his warmth, but all you can feel is the cool, soft sheets. Sleepily, you raise your head, peering around in the darkness. The only light that acts as your guide is the moonlight streaming in through the gaps in the blinds. Instead of the usual telltale lump of Sam visible underneath the duvet, his side of the bed is empty, the covers thrown aside over you. You call out for him gently, your voice rough and dry from sleep, thinking he might be in the bathroom. There’s no reply. 

You sigh and turn onto your back, rising after debating with yourself whether it’s worth leaving the cold bed to find your incredibly warm husband. The sudden thought that Sam might be awake because of his stress or worries has you moving more quickly, throwing on a nightgown and your slippers as you leave the bedroom. Your husband has always been one to bottle up his feelings, never wanting to burden you with his problems. It’s always been this way, ever since you two met when he first joined the Salieri family when you were a teenager. You still don’t fully understand who he was before he arrived in Lost Heaven and the family he used to know, but you can tell it’s had an effect on him. As you grew up and your feelings for Sam began to turn to those of the romantic kind, you could begin to see cracks beneath his hard, sometimes shielded exterior. You yearned to heal him from his demons. Eventually, your feelings reached boiling point and the two of you finally embraced your love for one another. 

As you turn into the living room of your top floor apartment, your eyes immediately focus on the open bottle of whisky next to the couch, last night full now half empty. You release a worried sigh. If Sam is drinking, then something is definitely plaguing his mind. He’s always preferred cigarettes over booze, the nicotine providing a quicker, more relaxing relief. When he turns to booze to give him that added buzz, you know it’s bad. 

You can see his shadow on the floor, highlighted by the moonlight as he stands outside. He leans bent slightly over the railing, a cigarette in one hand, a glass of whisky in the other. You can see from the already empty packet on the couch that he’s smoking more than he usually does too. Your body is moving forward before you can stop it, reaching for the balcony door handle in record speed. Just before touching the cool metal, your hand freezes. 

You look up at Sam’s tense back. He won’t speak to you like this. Calm him down first. Your gaze moves to your piano in the corner of the room, a present from Sam on Christmas Day the first year after you were married. Ever since you were a teenager, he’s loved hearing you sing, finding solace and peace in the whispered, dulcet verses of your music. As you move towards the instrument and take a seat after slightly opening the balcony door, you hope the music will seep through the small cracks in his outer shell and allow him to open his heart to yours. 

Slowly, your cold fingers uncurl over the keys, slowly pressing down and playing the starting notes of a melody. You see Sam react to the sudden noise out of the corner of your eye, his shoulders jumping slightly as his head turns an inch towards the windows. You don’t see his tense position suddenly go slack as you begin singing softly, looking at the keys. 

“Don't cry snowman, not in front of me, 

Who will catch your tears if you can't catch me, darlin'?

If you can't catch me, darlin'?”

Your ears pick up the movement of Sam’s feet against the stone outside as they turn slightly. You can feel his piercing stare, feel the rush of emotions running rampant through his body seeping into invisible waves passing between you. Those steel grey eyes you love so much focus only on you, like your own beckon of moonlight. 

“Don't cry, snowman, don't leave me this way

A puddle of water can't hold me close, baby

Can't hold me close, baby.”

Still, you don’t look at him. You need him to come to you. Follow your singing to the embrace and safety of your arms. At this moment, you feel more like a siren trying to entice a sailor, offering solace and warmth instead of secret desires. 

“I want you to know that I'm never leaving

Cause I'm Mrs. Snow, 'till death we'll be freezing

Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons

So come on let's go.” 

Your ears pick up movement again, the balcony door slowly swinging fully open. A breath of wind rushes into the room, making you shiver slightly. Your body warms though when you catch the scent of smoke and the spice of whisky, sailing with the wind under your nose with gentle kisses.

“Let's go below zero and hide from the sun

I'll love you forever where we'll have some fun

Yes, let's hit the North Pole and live happily

Please don't cry no tears now, it's Christmas baby.”

In the corner of your eyes, you can see Sam slowly approaching. You hear the slight thud of the whisky glass being left behind him, his hands instead running along the sleek top of the piano. 

“My snowman and me

My snowman and me

Baby.”

Sam sits down beside you on the bench, his warmth enveloping you like a cosy blanket, even after being outside in the cold. He moves close, his leg against yours, slightly rubbing. 

“Don't cry, snowman, don't you fear the sun

Who'll carry me without legs to run, honey?

Without legs to run, honey?”

You can feel his eyes on you, following the movements of your fingers across the keys, watching your lips form the words. 

“Don't cry, snowman, don't you shed a tear

Who'll hear my secrets if you don't have ears, baby?

If you don't have ears, baby?”

It’s slightly cold in the room now, recognisable by the slight fog that leaves your lips with each whisper. Sam’s hand presses gently against the curve of your back, slightly wrapping around your waist. He rubs gently and your breath shudders slightly. You know even without looking that he’s smiling at your reaction.

“I want you to know that I'm never leaving

'Cause I'm Mrs. Snow, 'till death we'll be freezing

Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons

So come on let's go.”

His hand at your back moves up, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear. It slips around your face, gently cupping your cheek. You curl into it like a cat as your eyes slip shut, the final chorus leaving your lips like a well-versed prayer.

“Let's go below zero and hide from the sun

I'll love you forever where we'll have some fun

Yes, let's hit the North Pole and live happily

Please don't cry no tears now, it's Christmas baby.”

Finally, you turn your head, your eyes slipping open like velvet curtains to meet his own. My god, you could cry at the beauty of this man. He smiles at you with warmth, his eyes tired and slightly glazed from the whiskey. In those clear, crystal pools, you can see a raging battle, the weight of a thousand worries and stresses. But then he blinks and the war is over, only an ocean of tranquillity in its wake. You smile. He leans forward, placing a sweet lasting kiss on your lips. When you break apart, you whisper the final verse against his cold, slightly spiced lips. 

“My snowman and me

My snowman and me

Baby.”

---

Thanks for reading minxies! 💕

[jjmaybanksblog]

The Book of You & I- Rafe Cameron

Summary: Based on The Book of You & I by Alec Benjamin

The Book of You & I- Rafe Cameron x fem reader

Summary: Based on

Word count: 2,900

Warnings: Angst, brief nudity mentioned, is kissing a warning?? all together sadness

Disclaimer: The female pronouns have been changed to male since this will be from a girls pov

Flashback in italics

Well, it all began in the back of his car

I was just sixteen, but I fell so hard

You and Rafe Cameron sat in the trunk of his jeep. Rafe had asked you on a date a few days before this, quickly realizing he was falling for you hard and fast. 

He drove you two up to the look-out hill, which gave you a beautiful view of the Outer Banks. He decorated the trunk with pillows and small fairy lights, playing music in the background. You were resting your head on his chest, feeling at peace as you listened to his calm heart beat.

It was when he kissed your forehead did you realize you were falling for him just as hard. Every moment you spent with him then you fell harder and harder. He never failed to make you smile and feel loved when you needed it most which you greatly appreciated.

Well, the years went by and he held my heart, but his love ran dry and we fell apart

You and Rafe had been dating for 3 years now. 3 years of going on dates, surprising each other with gifts, going to parties together, mind blowing sex, spending nights together. You thought everything was going beautifully.

However, as time went by everytime you tried to hang out with your boyfriend, he said he was always busy, coming up with excuses on why he couldn't go out when in reality he was partying with his friends and snorting coke.

I felt him growing distant, I knew his love was shifting

"Why are you constantly up my ass what the fuck is that about lately?!" Rafe screamed in your face. You two were in the middle of an argument after you asked him why he hasn't been around lately. He snapped at you as soon as you asked.

"Why are you yelling at me?" You raised your voice back, genuinely confused as to why he was acting so hostile towards you. "Because I'm not happy in our relationship anymore!" He screamed, red in the face. Your mouth fell open at his confession, a strong tension filling the room. Your eyes stung with tears, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

"What?" Your voice was barely audible as he kept his stare at the floor, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"I'm not happy anymore. I just- I don't know I'm not… in love with you anymore." A sob escaped your lips as you took in his words. You didn't say anything else to him as you walked out of his bedroom, slamming his door shut. You attempted to collect yourself at least until you were back in your car.

Accidentally bumping into Sarah, your head hung low as you apologized. "Y/N, you okay?" Your eyes met Sarah who softly gasped at your red eyes. Quickly shaking your head, you left the Cameron household, and entered your car. Your fingers gripped your steering wheel until your knuckles turned white. 

You inhaled sharply, wiping the tears out of your eyes you sped out of the driveway, your grip never ending up on the wheel.

And all that I could say was, don't tell me that it's over, the book of you and I. Now you've scribbled out my name and you've erased my favorite lines

You cried into your pillows for days on end, avoiding your friends calls and texts, not going to the dinner table to eat with your family, not leaving your bed in general. You sent countless nights, playing back memories in your head of the two of you. You questioned yourself so many times, wondering what you did wrong that made him fall out of love with you.

For the first time in a week you checked your social media. Your thumb hovered over Rafe's instagram account. Before you could stop yourself you scrolled through his posts, your grip tightening on your phone you saw all of his posts with you were deleted. Biting your tongue, you didn't hesitate to archive the pictures of you two on your account. Throwing your phone on the end of the bed, you sniffled before clutching onto your pillow.

There were so many chapters that we never got to write, like cereal for dinner and staying up all night. 

For your 1 year anniversary, Rafe had bought you tickets to see your favorite band, getting you front row seats. You were forever grateful that Rafe had done that for you, even when you told him he didn't have to do anything so big.

You and Rafe stood side by side, his arm around your shoulder, your hand resting on his chest. Chills were sent down your spine as the crowd screamed and cheered as the band appeared on stage. Rafe shifted you so you were in front of him, your back against his chest. 

You shut your eyes in happiness, listening to the crowd sing along to the lyrics. Letting the feeling of euphoria take over your body, you rested your head on his shoulder, holding his hands in place on your waist. 

The concert lasted almost 2 hours, making it 3 a.m. when you two returned back to his house. As soon as the both entered your house, Rafe threw himself on your couch, his body exhausted from all the adrenaline. You giggled at your boyfriend, entering the kitchen to make bowls of cereal. Pouring Fruit loops into two bowls, you added the milk and grabbed two spoons. 

Plopping yourself next to Rafe's head, you shook the cereal box, his head snapping up to look at which one you grabbed. A dorky grin appeared on his face, sitting up and tucking his legs underneath. "You know what to do." You handed him the remote. He shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth before turning the TV onto Spongebob.

I remember where we started, I remember how you looked

Before Rafe asked you on your first date, he asked you to senior prom. He knew you were a sucker for surprises so he gathered his friends to help lead you to the outside bus dock. There Rafe stood with a glass jar in his hands. You walked up to him and read the sign, 'be a smartie and take this dum dum to prom!' In the glass vase was the smarties candies on the bottom, and dum dumb lollipops on top.

Not being able to hold back your smile, you happily said yes to him, earning cheers and whoops from everyone around you. 

Once prom actually came around, you never forgot what he looked like. He showed up at your door in a light blue tux, a corsage the color of your dress in his hands. You could easily tell he was nervous, but as soon as he saw you all of his nerves left. "You look… stunning." He exhaled, truly at a loss for words.

"Thank you! You clean up well." You joked, your hand skimming across the hems of his tux. His hand delicately cupped the side of your waist. "You truly do look like a princess."

But now I'm missing bits and pieces from the pages that you took. You didn't give a reason, I'll forever wonder why, we never got to finish the book of you and I.

You snuggled into your blankets, letting out a loud sigh. A soft knock echoed from the outside of your door. "Go away mom." You called out, only to hear another knock and the door opening. You flipped around to see Sarah Cameron standing at the foot of your bed with a box of pizza and plate of cookies. 

After you thought you were out of tears, more tears swelled in your eyes at the sight of her. She joined next to you in your bed, holding you in her arms as you sobbed into her chest. Resting her chin on the top of your head, Sarah held you, her heartbreaking to hear your distressed sobs. "Shhh. It's okay, I got you." She mumbled. 

"He never told me why," you started as you pulled away from her, wiping your tears on your blankets. "I don't know what I did wrong." You mumbled, picking at your fingernails. "Y/N, you did nothing wrong. Rafe is just an asshole, and I am so, so sorry for everything he's put you through recently." 

Sarah slid the box of pizza towards you, a small smile on your face you took a slice and nibbled on the end. "Before I hug you more, I need you to take a shower." Sarah admitted before grabbing a slice for herself. You immediately dropped the pizza, apologizing before running into the bathroom.

 Well, I bought a pen and I turned the page. Then I wrote about how I wish you'd stayed. I said all the things that I never got to say. Maybe when it's done, I will feel okay.

You sat at your desk, you thumb anxiously clicking the top of the pen. Your mom had bought you a journal to write down everything that you had going on in your mind. She said it would help you at least organize some thoughts instead of having them jumbled together in your head.

You sighed loudly before writing a letter that you knew you'd never send.

Dear Rafe,

God, I never thought I'd be writing this letter. I never thought we would break up. I never expected you to fall out of love with me. Everything just feels… out of place. You were my safe zone, out of everything that was changing in my life you constantly stayed by my side through everything and  I loved that about you. I wish you were still with me. I don't know why after everything you've done to me recently, but I miss your touch. I miss the smell of your cologne. I miss your cute nicknames for me. I miss watching Disney movies with you. I miss staying up with you. I miss all of you. I never told you this, but I always pictured us getting married. I pictured you proposing to me after like our 5 year anniversary. We would have two kids, you would get to pick where we'd live. I'd get to change my name to Y/N Cameron. My bed feels empty without you. You were my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time, my first love, and as much as this hurts now, I am forever grateful you taught me how to love. I love you Rafe Cameron. No matter what.

Love,

Y/N

That he had grown so distant and that his love had shifted. I wish he felt the same.

Sarah finally convinced you to go to the beach with her due to you staying inside for nearly 3 months. You were about to meet Sarah's boyfriend and his friends for the first time. At first Sarah told you that she could cancel on John B, but you refused and insisted on meeting everyone.

You sat next to her on your towel, letting the sun hit your skin. You couldn't help but softly grin at the warm feeling. "Guys! Over here!" Sarah called out. A group of teens walked over to you two, welcoming smiles on everyone's faces. "Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N this is JJ, Kiara, Pope, and my boyfriend John B." 

You stood up from your spot and welcomed Sarah's friends with a smile. Kiara on the other hand pulled you into a tight hug. You let out a surprised laugh, hugging the girl back. Sarah had explained to them that you had just had a rough break up and to stay away from the topic. 

"You give really good hugs." You admitted, releasing the girl.

The day was going beautifully, everyone was swimming or surfing. You finally felt relaxed, like everything is okay. "Hey! Y/N look at this!" John B randomly shouted. Your head snapped towards him, looking at the shell he had in his hands. You observed it before a familiar voice echoed from further down the beach. Your hands dug into the sand, John B looking down at you with pity in his eyes.

"It's him isn't it?" He softly nodded his head. You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. JJ appeared by your side, "you want me to teach you how to surf?" Your heart felt warm at his offer. Nodding your head, you followed JJ into the ocean, your eyes not daring to look at Rafe.

Don't tell me that it's over, the book of you and I. Now you've scribbled out my name and you've erased my favorite lines.

After a long day of JJ teaching you how to surf, everybody agreed to get dinner at The Wreck. You jumped out of John B's van, holding the front door to the restaurant open for your friends. You stepped foot into the dining room, only to pause in your steps. 

You didn't care that you saw Rafe, you cared that you saw some girl under his arm. Your friends saw the color leave your face, all of them shoving back out the front door. You inhaled and exhaled harshly to prevent yourself from crying. "Hey. hey, come here." Sarah comforted you in her arms, trying your best to maintain your composure. You quickly stepped away from her, "no, no it's okay. I'm okay," you lied, shaking your hands out, "I think I just need to go home." 

Kiara nodded her head, "I'll take you home if you want." You shook your head, "no it's okay. I'm just gonna walk home." Sarah's eyebrows raised up. "Y/N that's like an 8 mile walk." You shrugged your shoulders. "I just want to be alone and walking is good. I'll text you when I get home, okay?" Everyone gave you a hug before watching you walk away from them. 

The moment you had your back turned on them, you broke down. How could he have moved on so quickly? Was she just a fling or a new relationship? So many questions in your mind, you knew could not be answered.

There were so many chapters that we never got to write, like cereal for dinner and staying up all night.

Rafe gently nudged your body, "psst. Baby, are you awake?" He whispered. You flipped around and faced him. "I haven't been able to sleep at all." You said, your hand immediately finding its place on the side of his face. "Wanna go skinny dipping?" He suggested. You jumped out of his bed as soon as he finished his sentence. He knew you had always wanted to try that, and since his parents were renovating a house that was 6 hours away staying a hotel, he knew this was a perfect time to do it.

You raced him down the stairwell and into his backyard. Quickly stripping, you were left in nothing. You jumped into the water, thankful that the pool lights were off. Rafe jumped in, joining you. You leaned your head back, letting the water sweep through your hair. 

Rafe swam up to you, his hands finding your butt as you wrapped your legs around his waist. "I don't know why we didn't do this sooner." You joked, pressing your chest against his. He swiped a stray piece of wet hair away from your eyes, his thumb shifting down to your lips. "Because we both know where this would lead." His thumb skimmed across your bottom lip, allowing you to open your mouth to kiss it. 

I remember where we started, I remember how you looked, but now I'm missing bits and pieces from the pages that you took. You never gave a reason, I'll forever wonder why, we never got to finish the book of you and I. Don't tell me, tell me that you're leaving me. My belly hurts and my heart is hardly beating right, I hate to beg, but I'll try one last time.

Dear Rafe,

It's been exactly one year since we broke up. I became friends with some Pogues. I know you'd flip on me if I told you that and we were still together, but they're treating me better than you have towards the end of our relationship. I'm not gonna lie, I still miss you sometimes, most of the time actually. I'm still confused on why things ended the way they did. You've avoided me the entire time, leaving me without a clue and I hate it. I picked at every flaw about myself, trying to figure out if that's why you left. Do you know how mentally draining that is? God, it fucking sucks. I stopped crying over you though. Yeah it hurts my heart when I see you, but I think I wasted all my tears on you. I really don't know why I'm even writing to you anymore, I feel like I told you everything I needed to. I used to beg every day and pray every single night to get you back, and it hasn't happened. But I get it now. You finished our story before I got the chance to finish it myself, and that's just how love works sometimes. I'll never forget you Rafe Cameron, but I'll also never forgive you.

Sincerely,

Y/N

[steppedoffaflight]

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 10

Catch up on Chapter 9 here

He looks up at the machine then, the dim glow of the vending machine lightbulb illuminating his face for you. You watch his bright eyes flicker between different items, admiring the color of them before he leans forward to peer at the label on something and the light casts across his cheeks, illuminating his darker freckles. Your eyes trace the familiar constellations. The bridge of his nose is lit up, and you try to commit the sharp lines of his profile to memory. Try to stash it safely away in your brain so you’ll always remember, even when you’re apart.

Van’s eyes dart to your face. “What’re ya looking at?”

“Your nose,” You respond, nonchalant. “It’s got a lot of blackheads. You need one of those pore strip things.”

or

it’s time to head back to LA

Word count: ~5.3k

Chapter Ten June 2019

You and Van tend to specialize in quick and goal-oriented sex. It was never about the intimacy or strengthening your connection, only about releasing as much pent-up tension as possible that you two had both acquired in your time apart. And considering that was the only flavor of sex you’d been having for God-knows-how-long, and you wouldn’t expect much more from a friends-with-benefits arrangement, it’s never bothered you. You’d never realized how much Van was holding back until tonight.

Maybe it was the exhaustion that he’d been complaining about this morning. Maybe it was how close to coming he’d already been before he even got the condom on. But whatever the case, there was a noticeable difference in the way he was moving. Absent were the usual quick thrusts that rock the bed, swaying your body up and down with the momentum. Even when he was gentle there was always that sense of urgency just under the surface, boiling underneath your skins as you kissed roughly and held each other tightly.

This was something different altogether. His hips moved slow, his thrusts deep. Usually with this sort of rhythm his muscles are drawn tight, every movement calculated in an attempt to get you both to orgasm. But you don’t feel his muscles clenched tight with tension underneath your palms. He’s not even panting from exertion. His movements are fluid, leisurely, as if he’s fully enjoying every second.

In any other scenario, that’s a red flag for you. A man that’s going at his own pace- without exerting any extra effort in an attempt to help you finish- is a sure sign that you’re going to bed dissatisfied. Even now you can feel yourself getting wound up, your mind trying to calculate the quickest route to where your body needs to be.

“Faster,” You breathe against his neck, desperate for something more.

You don’t see his face, but you feel his chuckle vibrate against your lips. “Why? What’s the rush?”

You sigh in frustration, before feeling one of his hands cup the back of your neck. He’s trying to gently bring your face away from his skin, and you let the weight of your head be cradled in his palm as he makes you look at him. 

“We’ve got all night,” Van tells you quietly, his skin glowing with the fairy lights. “Let’s take our time. For once,” He adds, one of the corners of his mouth quirking up.

“Can I get a pillow, then?” You request. Your neck already has a kink in it from where its been curved to burrow into the crook of his shoulder. If he wants to draw this out, you at least want to be able to lay back comfortably.

Van pulls out, the moment on pause while he passes you a random hoodie within reach on the floor. You bundle it up, tucking it behind your head, and then you’re able to relax.

If Van’s gonna be in charge tonight, you’ve got little choice but to trust him. You actively try to relax into the moment, consciously unclenching your muscles. Soon your thighs are relaxed, spreading wider for Van’s hips more easily. Your knees bend instinctively, your body naturally setting you up for a good angle.

On his next push in you cry out, your walls clenching around him from the wave of pleasure. It wasn’t a very attractive noise, scratchy and loud, bouncing through the silent space, but you can feel Van twitch inside of you. 

“Sorry,” You gasp, trying to catch your breath. Every thrust feels so electric it’s like you forget to breathe. “That was so loud.”

“Shut up,” He says through his teeth, a wet lock of hair falling into his eyes. “None of that.”

You’re grateful he’s okay with you being loud, because you can’t help the noises you continue to make as he keeps going. The more you relax into his movements the more you feel like your entire body is about to combust. With Van still going at a snail’s pace your body starts to look for any way to express what it’s feeling, and within minutes you can hear the slick noise of yourself as you become wetter. You flush in embarrassment even as you throw your neck back, another ragged noise emerging from your throat.

When you tip your head back up you realize Van’s watching you. His face looks as if watching you squirm underneath him is causing him excruciating pain. You can’t imagine what you must look like with your cheeks flushed bright red, your lips hanging open as you pant for breath, your eyes flitting from one feature of his to the next. But after staring at you Van leans in, kissing you. 

It’s only a feather-light press of his lips before he pulls away. “Fuck,” He sighs, his warm breath tickling your face. “I should’ve been taking my time with you more often.”

Your response is a pathetic-sounding whine as you rest your head back against your makeshift pillow. 

Your brain goes hazy with pleasure until you can’t think straight. You can tell Van’s reached his limit by the way his arms are struggling to keep him hovering above you, his biceps trembling. You wish your brain was a little sharper so that you could think more clearly, clench yourself around him or maybe talk him through it quietly in his ear, but instead your whole being feels like mush. 

You find yourself kissing any part of his skin you can reach. Not your usual kisses- desperate and sloppy- but chaste, light presses of your lips to the top of his shoulder, his neck, and eventually his face. You pepper kisses over his forehead, his cheeks, his jawline. The entire time you’re intoxicated by the smell of his shampoo mingling with the sweat forming on his hairline and the poignant scent of sex that’s started to become noticeable. 

When you pull back to take a good look at Van’s face, your hands cupping his jaw, he looks just as dazed as you. He doesn’t have that sharp, mischievous gaze he’s usually cutting you with when he knows he’s performed well in bed. His eyes can’t seem to settle in one spot, blinking down at you groggily as you feel his muscles start to contract. 

You can feel how hard he comes, the condom stretching inside of you to make space as he throbs through his orgasm. This time when you watch his face you can’t keep your hands to yourself, running the pad of one of your thumbs over the deep creases that appear in the outer corners of the soft skin by his eyes as he shuts them tight. 

When his muscles go slack and his eyes open slowly, coming back to reality, the first thing he does is break out in a lazy grin. The second thing he does is pull out and handle the condom, and the third thing he does is shimmy down the couch, get your legs over his shoulders, and get his mouth on you in record time.

It doesn’t take any real effort on Van’s part to get you to come, twitching helplessly into the cushions as you clench a tight fistful of his wet hair. It’s over as quickly as it began, and then he’s sitting back on his knees, wiping his mouth. 

Your mind is blissfully empty afterwards. You lay there taking deep breaths, your heart still racing from the system overload of your orgasm, your skin buzzing from the memory of Van’s touch. Then suddenly, you’re laughing.

It’s partly from the bubbly feeling that flows through your veins following good sex. But it’s mostly because you realize suddenly that you’ve just had the most romantic sex with the man that you love, complete with fairy lights to set the mood, except that you’re resting your head on dirty clothes and the entire room smells stale from his bandmate’s mess. Not to mention that despite the fact you were hopelessly in love, technically you two were both still single and had no official ties to each other. It was the sweetest, most memorable experience in the strangest of circumstances. And the absurdity of it all leaves you giggling. Some of it from joy, some of it for comedic relief at what a mess you’ve found yourself in.

Even without knowing why, you realize Van’s joined in, too. He’s laughing where he’s still hunched over between your legs. 

“What’s so funny?” He says through his own laughter.

“I dunno,” You lie, sighing happily. “That was really good, wasn’t it?”

“Fucking hell, it was.”

“I guess I’m laughing instead of crying,” You admit, wiping a tear from your laughter out of the corner of your eye.

Van nods in understanding. “That’s always special. When it’s so good you have to shed a tear.”

“I don’t even remember the last time I did that.”

Van shakes his head where his face is resting in his hands, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “Christ, me neither.”

“I think we’re overtired.” Your voice wobbles with your giggles.

“Fuck, it’s so late,” Van groans, scrubbing his hands through his hair. “Let’s go back to the room.”

You both hesitate after the suggestion, reluctant to let this moment go, but eventually you’re both up and dressed. Van shuts the string of lights off, using his phone as a flashlight as you two gather your things and head off of the bus. 

“Let’s smoke before we go in,” Van says after he’s double checked that the door is locked. He procures a box of cigarettes from the pocket of his sweatpants, offering you one first as always.

You laugh as you take one. “You didn’t have a condom, but you brought your cigarettes?”

“I take them everywhere with me. And you’re the one that’s always catching me off guard. Maybe you should start keeping some around.”

He’s right. “You’re right,” You actually admit, surprising even yourself. You only do it because Van doesn’t seem the type to let it get to his head. He’s shown you more than once that he can admit when he’s wrong, so why can’t you?

Van shrugs. “Lads are idiots. Especially around you, I’m sure.”

You squint at him. “What’s that mean?”

“It means I bet they lose their fucking minds looking at you,” Van says, giving you a once-over for emphasis.

“Hmm. Not true.”

“It is.”

You sigh, not willing to debate about how wrong he was. You make a mental note to buy your own box of condoms when you get back home. You used to be good about keeping your own around, but once your dry spell had started the few that you’d had around had expired, and there was no real reason to get new ones. 

“What brand do you use?” You ask him. “I know Trojans, but what are they called?”

Van rattles off the name for you and describes the box. “That’s what I use, but not everyone likes ‘em, though.”

The way his sentence vaguely implies you’re sleeping with everyone gives you a quick twinge of irritation. When you look over at him he looks oblivious to his words, happily smoking his cigarette and gazing up at the glowing windows of different hotel rooms.

“They’re not for everyone,” You say pointedly as you exhale. You look right at him, letting your smoke waft right into his face as revenge. “They’re for you.”

You don’t know if it’s the dim parking lot lighting playing tricks on you, but you swear for a moment you see Van’s face flash with remorse, understanding what he’s just said. After you blink he seems normal again, so quick you don’t know if you imagined it. 

You’re tired of smoking now, but you’ve got to finish inhaling the last bit of nicotine you have left. You’ve started to notice yourself craving it lately. You can still break the habit if you start being more careful, but tonight you’re content to finish your fix and head to bed. 

Van stomps his butt out on the blacktop, but you dispose of yours in the trash can as you two head back through the lobby and into the elevators.

As the elevator is climbing it’s way up to your floor, your stomach growls.

“Are there any snacks in the room?” You ask, trying to remember if there were any left in the gift basket. Unfortunately, you’re pretty sure you two had munched on those for breakfast. 

“Don’t think so. Wanna run to the vending machine?”

“We don’t have to,” You brush it off, not wanting to be an inconvenience. But Van shakes his head.

“I’m starved too,” He tells you, palm over the elevator door while he gestures you out onto your floor. “Lemme grab my wallet.”

You wait outside the door of the room as Van swipes the key, using the swing lock on the inside of the door to keep it from shutting completely as he grabs his wallet before emerging back into the hall. 

“They’re down there, I think,” He nods towards the distant end of the corridor, and you two start to walk.

As you approach the vending machines, Van opens the worn brown leather to the fold he stashes his bills inside, tugging the folded stack free. You watch him flick through a few foreign bills which you stare at curiously before he finds some wrinkled American singles.

“Ugh, you’re taking forever!” You joke, leaning your shoulder against the side of the machine, watching the way the tip of his tongue pokes out between his lips as he focuses intently on using his long fingers to smooth out the bills.

“Can it,” He tells you, but there’s a joking smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You scoff in mock offense, but say nothing in fear of making this seemingly simple task take any longer for him.

He looks up at the machine then, the dim glow of the vending machine lightbulb illuminating his face for you. You watch his bright eyes flicker between different items, admiring the color of them before he leans forward to peer at the label on something and the light casts across his cheeks, illuminating his darker freckles. Your eyes trace the familiar constellations. The bridge of his nose is lit up, and you try to commit the sharp lines of his profile to memory. Try to stash it safely away in your brain so you’ll always remember, even when you’re apart.

Van’s eyes dart to your face. “What’re ya looking at?”

“Your nose,” You respond, nonchalant. “It’s got a lot of blackheads. You need one of those pore strip things.”

He breaks out into a laugh, a grin stretching across his glowing face. You laugh too, relieved that you were able to play it off so well. Lying has never been your strong suit, but time with Van has started to make you a pro.

“Never done one,” Van chuckles as he feeds the machine his bills. “Pick us up some and we’ll do them next time, yeah?”

Your heart swells. “I will.”

There’s the tumble of a food item being dispensed, and Van leans over to retrieve the crinkly packaging of a strawberry poptart.

“Oh my god, you’re done, finally!” You tease him as he carefully retrieves the coins that the machine has spit out as change, tucking them into his wallet. Suddenly he’s waving two dollar bills at you.

“You gonna be quiet and get something?”

You take the bills from between his fingers, hoisting your weight off of the side of the vending machine so you can face the items properly. Your favorite chocolate bar is in stock, so you feed the bills, punch in your selection, and lean down to get your item in a fraction of Van’s time.

“See how quick that was?” You taunt him, standing up straight. “Simple. Easy.”

Van laughs along, letting you have the last word as you two head back down the hall to your room. You catch a glimpse of his profile again when he scans the keycard, and he’s smiling.

“What are you smiling about?” You ask, and he breaks into a grin as he swings the door open, letting you into the room first.

“Nothin’,” He hums, but you reach out and poke him in the belly. 

“It’s obviously something.” You sit down on the bed, which hasn’t been made today.

Van locks the door before joining you on the bed. “I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About us.”

His words make you gulp. You busy yourself with opening the wrapper on your chocolate bar, mentally trying to prepare yourself for whatever he might say next. As much as you were silently chiding yourself, your hopes had rocketed sky high from only those two words.

When Van doesn’t elaborate, you clear your throat. “What about us?”

Van kicks off his slippers, sitting back against the headboard. A smile was still playing at his lips when you look over at him. 

“I dunno,” He says at first, shrugging. “I really like the way we work.”

Your chest starts to tighten. “Oh? Like, how?”

“We get on good, I mean. It’s like you said at the vending machine, right? We’re simple. Easy.”

You hum to show you’re listening, but you’re looking down at your food again. Suddenly your appetite is nowhere to be found. 

“You’re busy, I’m busy…” Van continues, clearly oblivious to your reaction. “We’ve both had the worst luck dating. And once you put labels on things there are all these… rules, and expectations. Everything starts getting messed up. But this works well, doesn’t it? What we’re doing now?”

“Yeah,” You choke out, before faking a few coughs as if you only needed to clear your throat. “This is nice.” 

“I like having you around,” Van admits quietly.

At his admission you can’t help but look him in the eyes, and he offers you a small smile. He almost looks unsure, as if he’s worried that he’s the one scaring you off.

“I like being around,” You tell him, hoping your tone conveys just how much of an understatement that is. But despite your best efforts your eyes are starting to water, your chest squeezing with crushing disappointment. 

“Hold on, these contacts are killing me,” You lie, rubbing your eyes for show as you hurry off to the bathroom. 

You can’t close the door fast enough before the waterworks start, using the toilet as you cry into your hands, trying to get all of your tears out in these few moments before you’ve got to face Van again. You’d tried to make it clear by the bus that he was the only person you were sleeping with. You thought you’d both shared that inexplicable chemistry on the couch that had left you both laughing afterwards. He’d even surprised you at the airport, for God’s sake! For one sliver of a moment you had allowed yourself to believe he felt the same way about you. What happened to him saying he’s never met anyone like you? But clearly you were stupid for imagining that conversation going any other way. Van’s right. He’s busy. If it wasn’t before, it’s crystal clear now that he doesn’t want a relationship. 

You force yourself to stop crying before your face turns beet red. You take your contacts out, wash your face with the coldest water possible, and then return to the bed with Van.

You take a bite of your snack even though the taste is making you nauseous right now. 

“Anyway, yeah,” You start around a mouthful of food. “This is a good arrangement, isn’t it? It’s very…” You swallow. “Easy.”

\\

When you wake up the next morning to your phone alarm, Van is nowhere to be found. The bathroom is empty, his phone is missing from his nightstand, and there’s no note with his whereabouts scrawled on the hotel memo pad.

He’d told you last night that he had to be up early to get things in order for the bus, and although you delay heading down to the hotel breakfast as long as possible, eventually you go without him. This was your last chance at a real meal before your flight, and you didn’t want to miss it. 

You glance around for him in the hotel’s breakfast den. It’s peppered with families trying to convince their children to sit down and eat, and older couples helping themselves to the coffee pots, but no members of the band. It relieves you as much as it confuses you; while you’re eager to know where Van is, you’re glad that none of the other boys are around to see you fresh out of bed. 

The hotel staff is already hauling empty catering trays away, and you quickly help yourself to whatever’s still left; some cold pieces of toast that you grab some packets of jelly for, a giant blueberry muffin with sugar crystals baked on top, some waffles that you assume had been left because the syrup packets were nowhere to be found, and a bruised banana resting at the bottom of the fruit bowl. At the last moment you spot some cups of peanut butter that you decide to grab for your waffles before carefully beginning to make your way upstairs with your teetering tray of food. 

You pass the main elevator in the lobby, the one you’d taken down here, instead heading for the one by the stairwell. It was further from your room than the main one, but right next to the vending machines you and Van had visited last night, and you figured you could grab something to drink there rather than try to carry something from the den. 

When you turn the corner you notice that the side door to the parking lot is cracked, something wedged between the doorframe and the latch. You don’t think twice about it, hitting the button for the elevator, until the voices on the other side of the door drift into the hall. 

“It looked absolutely ransacked,” You hear Bondy’s unmistakably low voice say. As he speaks, Van’s laugh bubbles over his words. You freeze.

The elevator arrives, i’s doors sliding open for you with a whoosh. You’re thankful the car is empty, because in a split second you’ve decided not to step on. Instead, you shuffle a few paces away from the door to the small nook that housed the ice machine, successfully stepping into the nook and out of obvious sight from the door.

It’s harder to hear from your new spot, but you’re vaguely able to hear Van laughing off Bondy’s concern, admitting that he was the one on the bus last night.

At the mention of the bus, your blood goes cold. Your mind pieces together Bondy’s words, remembering how you and Van had cleared the couch. Of course everyone else would notice all of their things had been thrown to the floor. You wrack your brain, trying to remember where Van had disposed of the used condom. You’re pretty sure he’d left it in the small plastic trashcan that had already been overflowing with other trash. 

You flush in embarrassment about the whole thing. You were sure, of course, that Van had most likely told the other boys that you guys were friends with benefits. But something about thinking about how everything looked from an outsider’s perspective made your stomach roil. Flying out here, making a mess of a room that you didn’t belong in, leaving a full condom on top of a pile of trash like some sort of humble brag. Not to mention Bondy, who went out of his way to make you feel welcome, being the one to stumble onto the scene.

Lost in your thought, you miss a chunk of their continued conversation, but you hear Bondy respond to something Van’s said: Things are good, then? With… 

He trails off, and you strain to hear Van’s reply. Their voices suddenly get louder as you hear the door creak open, the two of them emerging from outside. Your heart starts thumping, panicking to think of a cover if they come down the hall to see you guarding the ice machine. 

“Mates.” Bondy’s voice is flat as he says it, a clear indication he doesn’t believe it.

You try to keep your breathing quiet as you hear one of them call the elevator again, the doors opening immediately thanks to you. 

“Mates,” Van affirms, his voice echoing slightly as he steps into the small space. “It’s always nice having mates around.”

With another woosh the elevator doors have closed, and after a few more tense moments you dare to peek out, sighing in relief that Bondy had gotten on the elevator with him.

You stomp back towards the lobby, to the main elevators, not wanting to give Van any hint that you’d heard his words. During your solitary walk you grit your teeth, wobbling between anger at the way he’d laughed you off as a mate, and the deep hurt that had been threatening to rear its head up again after your unfinished cry last night. Your food has gone cold by now, and on the ride up to your floor you try to swallow down your emotions. It works for the anger and the hurt, but not on the mortification of what Bondy must think of you now. 

When you get off of the elevator, you’re surprised to see that Van and Bondy have not made it into their rooms despite their headstart. Instead, they’re both hovered around Bondy’s open door, having an animated conversation. 

At the sound of your footsteps they stop talking, turning towards you.

“Morning!” Van greets you. He’s cradling a steaming thermos in his hand, and you wonder if it’s coffee or tea. Hopefully coffee, so that you can share with him.

“Hey,” You smile, continuing your gallant effort to repress your feelings. You lean in, attempting to sniff the steam that’s floating out of his thermos. “Coffee?” 

Van nods, offering you a sip. When you hold up your tray of food that you’re holding with both hands, he realizes his mistake, smiling sheepishly.

“Go put your food down and come back real quick,” Bondy’s voice pops the bubble of the moment, and you realize the level of comfort that you and Van have started to interact with. 

“Why?” You ask, but Bondy just shrugs. Van procures the room key, following you the few doors down to the room, opening and holding the door for you.

“What does he want?” You ask Van quietly when you set your tray down on the desk. Although it’s irrational, your mind is only focused on the embarrassing bus situation, and your anxiety is certain you’ve got some sort of teasing in store. 

Van shrugs too, but the smirk playing at his features betrays him. You two head back to Bondy’s door, which he’s left cracked. 

Before you’ve pushed all the way inside of the room, a giant black guitar case is being hauled towards you. Bondy’s pushed it into your arms before Van’s even closed the door behind him. 

“What?” You sputter, struggling to hold the weight of your gift. “But- Why?”

“Found one laying around,” Bondy tells you. “I was gonna sell it before I remembered you might be interested in it.”

“Oh, wow,” You’re struggling to find words, glancing between Van and Bondy in shock. “I don’t have the kind of cash for this, though, I mean- How much were you-”

Bondy breaks out in a sharp laugh, tipping his head back. “I’m not askin’ anything for it,” He assures you. “I’m giving it to you. Free to a good home.”

“You don’t have to,” You insist, struggling to hoist the instrument higher in your arms. “You really, really, shouldn’t.”

Bondy claps a hand on your shoulder, and as you look up at him to offer him a genuine thank you Van steps forward, easing the guitar out of your hands so that it’s no longer in danger of being dropped. 

“Thank you,” Is all you manage to say to him. Bondy tips his hat in his own joking response, and then Van is ushering you back into the hall, easily carrying your guitar by the carrying case handle.

You mull over the gesture while you scarf down your cold breakfast, your mind remembering Van’s words from long ago, the first time you’d been introduced to Bondy: He offered you a guitar. Cares more about his guitars than the Mustang. 

Surely, if Bondy treats his guitars as prized possessions, then he’s not offering them to every ‘mate’ Van brings around. Certainly not for free, out of the kindness of his own heart. And certainly he wouldn’t have done this if something about last night had made you seem like some sort of arrogant groupie following Van around.

Van had even tagged it as luggage, his handwriting filling out your name and address. You didn’t even think he’d known your actual address until now. 

As always, you head home confused. Upset enough to smoke two cigarettes in the car with Van before you head into the airport, but in love enough to swoon when he insists against dropping you off in the parking lot, instead hauling your suitcase and guitar alongside you. 

For a brief moment, you let yourself imagine that you’re walking the airport with your boyfriend. He looks so handsome with a guitar, as if he’s supposed to have one in his hands at all times. And every time he catches your eye he shoots you a crooked smile. 

His hands are free as you approach the gate, your guitar successfully checked and headed back to L.A. with you. He’s handed your suitcase back over, your heart aching as you get ready to leave him.

“I’m gonna miss you,” He says, and for a quick second you think he’s going to lean in for a goodbye kiss, but he wraps his arms around you instead. You close your eyes, inhaling deep where your nose is pressed into the collar of his t-shirt. You can smell his aftershave. 

As you two draw away from each other, Van gives you a once-over. “Do you have your jumper?”

You realize with a jolt that you hadn’t seen your hoodie this morning. You don’t remember folding it into your bag, or bringing it with you into Dave’s car. “Shit. I don’t think I do. I think I left it in the room.”

Van must see the panic that starts to grip you, because suddenly he’s shimmying the button up off of his shoulders, standing before you in only his t-shirt. “I’ll look for it when I get back to the room. But take this.”

He holds out the black fabric for you to take. “What are you gonna wear?” You ask him, refusing to grab it just yet.

Van laughs. “Uh, this,” He plucks the collar of his t-shirt, and you see the chain that he’s always wearing peek out against his skin.

You still hesitate. Van rolls his eyes.

“Shut up. I’ve got a million of these. Nothing’s worse than freezing an entire fucking flight.”

He’s right. At his words you grasp the shirt, throwing it on over your t-shirt. Pressed against your skin, the fabric reeks of his cologne. 

Your goodbyes have taken longer than intended, and you really needed to go get ready to board your plane. 

“Thanks,” You say hurriedly. “I’ll miss you!”

Van echoes the sentiment again as he starts to step away. 

“And tell Bondy thank you!” You say too loudly, your voice echoing off of the tiles. 

You two give each other a final wave before you both turn away, heading in your opposite directions. And now, bundled in one of Van’s signature button-ups, you have the whole security check and flight home to continue your routine debate over whether this thing with Van was your greatest mistake or the best thing you’ve ever done.  

\\

[apoguecalledjj]

Fixation (Chapter 2)

Series summary: Eleanor is new to the outer banks, and the pogues are quick to take her in. But so are the kooks, and as she grows closer with Rafe, trouble emerges. Trying to balance her relationship with the pogues and the kooks, as well as dealing with her own personal problems, Eleanor falls into a hole she may not be able to dig herself out of.

Chapter Word Count: 3447

Chapter Warnings: Drug use

Previous Parts: Ch. 1 Ch. 2  Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

Ellie had expected to spend her first night in the Outer Banks in her new bed at her uncle's house. Instead, she woke up in an unfamiliar room, an unfamiliar arm draped over her, completely naked with a pounding headache.

She could briefly remember the night before. Speaking with the pogues, going to get another drink, meeting Rafe, spending the night...

Shit. Spending the night. Ellie sat up abruptly, waking the boy laid next to her but that was the least of her worries. Her uncle had told her not to stay out late. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, she saw it was 9:17 AM. That definitely classified as late.

“Mhm. What’s wrong?” Rafe muttered sleepily, barely able to open his eyes. He lazily reached his arms out to wrap them around her waist, and that’s when Ellie remembered she was naked, hastily grabbing the sheets and wrapping them around her.

“I have to go home. Where are my clothes?” She glanced frantically around the room. 

Rafe finally sat up next to her. “Was I really that bad?” He teased. He knew he wasn’t bad, both of them could remember the way she had screamed last night.

Ellie’s stomach rolled, and she prayed she wouldn’t throw up, at least not till she left Rafe’s house. The last thing she needed was to vomit all over his room. She stood up, finally spotting her shorts and top from the night before. Walking over to retrieve her cardigan, she noticed remnants of white powder on top of the desk.

Cocaine. Had she done it last night? No, she wasn’t that drunk. She would remember. A part of her screamed run, telling her to stay away from the boy behind her. Drugs were a bad idea, addiction ran in her family and she had spent the majority of her life avoiding them at all costs. But the other part of her wanted to stay. She enjoyed being with Rafe, she had a good time with him, and it was only cocaine. Nothing like meth, or the heroin her mother did. 

It’s only coke, she finally decided. And it’s not like she was going to do it. She was just spending time with Rafe, who happened to do coke. No big deal.

Ellie pulled on the cardigan and turned to face him. He was still sat up in the bed, gazing at her with a small smile on his face. His hair was messy and fluffy, and she had to admit, it looked better than when it was slicked back.

“Enjoying the view?” His smile turned to a smirk, and she shook her head, chuckling.

“I have to go. Thanks for a great night!” She turned to open the door, but Rafe jumped out of bed.

“Wait!” Ellie turned back around, watching as he rushed to get dressed. “It’s raining. Let me drive you.”

He led her to his truck. “You said you’re staying with Travis right?” He asked, and she nodded.

There was silence for a couple minutes, then Rafe spoke again. “You shouldn’t be hanging with the pogues.”

Ellie, confused, furrowed her eyebrows. “Why? They seem nice.”

“They’re not. They’re dirty, good for nothing criminals. Always getting in trouble with the police and starting fights. How do you think I got this?” He pointed to a bruise on his jaw that she hadn’t noticed before.

She said nothing, instead just nodding and staring out the window. Rafe glanced at her and she smiled, trying to show him that what he had said didn’t bother her, even though it did. The pogues were really nice to her.

The rest of the ride was comfortably silent, the radio playing an unfamiliar song that Rafe hummed along to. He pulled into her driveway and shot her a quick smile. “So will I see you again?”

Ellie nodded. “Of course. Give me your number?”

He took her phone and added his number before driving off, and Ellie began the walk to her front door, dreading facing her uncle and aunt. She opened the door, immediately spotting her uncle sat on the couch in the living room.

“Did you have a good night?” He didn’t seem mad.

“Yeah I did, I’m sorry I didn’t get home last night I-”

He cut her off. “Was that Rafe Cameron that dropped you off? Good family, those Cameron’s are. I guess you spent the night with Sarah then? I forgot she was around your age.”

Ellie simply nodded, she hadn’t even had to lie, her uncle easily created a story for her.

“At first I was upset that you didn’t let me know you weren’t coming home but then I realized I never even gave you my number! What kind of guardian am I?” He chuckled and then rhymed off his number, and Ellie quickly added it to her phone.

“Thank you for being so understanding uncle Travis. I’m going to head upstairs to shower, I start work in an hour!”

Ellie rushed up the stairs, actually quite excited to start work and see her friends again. She felt bad for ditching them last night, but she had also felt uncomfortable around them, they easily fell into conversation with each other and she didn’t fit in. They all seemed preoccupied with their own things last night anyways, so hopefully, they wouldn’t mind.

As she showered, she couldn’t stop thinking about the way the pogues had looked at Rafe last night. And the things Rafe had mentioned on her way home this morning. Both groups seemed nice enough to her, and she didn’t understand why she couldn’t be friends with both.

She shook the thought, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and moving to grab her loofah. The last thing she needed was to be late for her first day of work at The Wreck.

Ellie quickly got dressed. She grabbed an umbrella, planning to walk the short distance to the restaurant but her uncle stopped her. “You got your license?”

She nodded, she did have her license but could never afford a car. That’s one of the many reasons she was so eager to work: she wanted to be able to drive around.

He pulled out the keys to his truck and tossed them at her. “Here, might as well drive then.”

The trip to The Wreck was much quicker in the truck, and Ellie had missed driving. Pulling up to The Wreck, she noticed Kie’s car as well as the same van that had been there yesterday, so she assumed it was one of the guys.

Opening the door her theory was confirmed, Kiara was stood behind the counter and the three boys were stood next to her, talking. Kie noticed her first and waved her over, “Hey Ellie!”

She walked over, greeting the group with a smile. Kiara waved her behind the counter and passed her an apron. “There’s not much to do right now, so we're just talking.” She giggled and Ellie nodded, knowing how this job usually went anyways.

“Hey, where’d you go off to last night?” JJ asked her.

“Yeah, we saw you with Rafe.” John B added, and Ellie’s cheeks flushed red.

“Oh my god.” They all knew what the blush on her cheeks meant, but Pope was the first one to speak.

“Did you go home with him?” JJ asked. All four pairs of eyes were on her now and her eyes were wide, glancing back and forth between the four.

“Uh yeah? He seemed nice.” She didn’t understand the way the pogues were reacting, nor the way Rafe had reacted. It seemed silly and stupid.

“He’s definitely not nice. He and his fucking friends beat the shit out of us every second day.” John B explained. 

“I’m a kook and even I say you should stay away from Rafe and his friends. He’s bad news.” Kie chipped in, the boys nodding along.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate the concern, but he said the same thing about you guys.” Ellie just wanted the drama to stop.

“You have to believe us, Ellie. Rafe will say anything to keep you away from us. He’s not a good person.” Pope sounded serious, and the way he was staring at her freaked her out.

She nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay away from him.” She knew that wasn’t true, she had a great time with him the night before and wanted it to happen again. She just wanted the topic to change.

A couple walked into the restaurant and Kiara sighed, shooing the boys away from the counter. “That’s our cue,” She said to Ellie. “Time to get to work.”

John B glared at JJ as soon as the two girls walked away. “Bro if you keep acting like that she’s gonna notice somethings up.”

JJ was confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Clenching your jaw and glaring and all that shit. You look pissed.”

JJ sighed, he had hoped no one had noticed. “I really don’t like the idea of her sleeping with Rafe.”

Pope joined into the conversation. “JJ, dude, she’s her own person. She can make her own decisions. Why do you care so much anyway? We only met her yesterday.”

JJ bit his lip.��“I know. She just seems really sweet, and I know Rafe is gonna hurt her. He always does.”

“Do you like Ellie?”

JJ’s eyes widened. “No! I don’t fall for people. One night, that’s it. Plus I don’t know her. Like you said, we only met her yesterday. Just don’t want to see her get hurt, is all.”

John B and Pope could both tell JJ felt something for the girl, even if it was just a little crush based mainly on physical attraction. But they both kept their mouths shut, instead waving Kie back over to order some food.

---

Once Ellie’s shift had ended, she drove to John B’s, punching the address into the GPS. Pope told it wouldn’t bring her straight to the house, but she’d be close enough to know where to go.

Kiara’s shift had ended an hour before hers, and she had invited Ellie to hang out with them at John B’s house, which they called The Chateau. She had happily agreed, excited to have plans and friends. She didn’t have that when she lived with her mom.

She finally found the house, if you could even call it that. It was more of a shack, with a rundown porch and a chicken coop off to the side. She could see her new friends sat on the front porch, and she parked and made her way to them.

“Holy shit. That your truck?” John B asked.

“Nope. Uncle Travis’s.” 

“You park like shit,” JJ said, grinning at her parking job.

Kiara slapped him lightly. “Stop insulting our new friend!”

Ellie laughed at the banter. “Don’t worry, I know. I hate driving a truck. I’m used to a little car.”

It was still quite early in the day, as Ellie and Kiara both had short shifts, and it was a beautiful day, so they decided to go out in boat. The HMS Pogue, JJ explained to Ellie, blabbing on and on about their precious boat.

Once they were all situated, and John B was working on untying the rope, Ellie turned towards the others. “I have a confession. I’ve never been on a boat. Besides the ferry, obviously.” 

“Hopefully you don’t get seasick then.” Pope giggled.

John B had untied the boat and started the engine. Ellie moved to sit down, but she was seconds too late as the boat lurched forward and she fell backward.

She waited for her butt to connect with the hard surface, squeezing her eyes shut to prepare herself for the pain, but it never came. Instead, she fell into someone, their arms wrapping tightly around her waist to steady her.

“Woah there!” JJ’s voice came from directly behind her, as he stepped back slightly to stop himself from stumbling over with her added weight.

The three other pogues laughed, and Ellie couldn’t stop the blush from spreading on her cheeks. “I told you guys I’d never been on a boat!”

JJ carefully lead her over so she could sit, his arm still wrapped tightly around her waist to make sure she wouldn’t fall again. Once she was finally settled down, he reluctantly removed his arm and shifted away, just slightly.

“Thank you,” Ellie said to JJ, sending him a smile that made his heart flutter.

He had never felt like that before. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it scared him. JJ had only known Ellie for a day, yet she was causing butterflies in his stomach and his heart to beat faster. 

Eventually, they decided to anchor the boat and go swimming. Ellie didn’t have her swimsuit on, so she decided to stay on the boat. John B offered to stay with her, assuring her that he didn’t really feel like swimming anyways.

“So,” He said as he sat next to her, taking JJ’s spot. “What brings you to the Outer Banks anyways?”

Ellie paused for a minute, thinking of what to say. She wanted to keep her story a secret, at least for a little bit longer. “There were some issues at home,” She finally said. “I needed a change.”

John B could tell that she didn’t want to get any further into it, so he changed the subject. “What do you think of it here so far?”

This was something Ellie didn’t mind talking about. “I love it here! It’s so different from West Virginia.” She smiled, glancing around at the water around here. “There are so many new things for me to experience. And so far, the people are super nice. Although, I haven’t met many.

“I think I’d like to learn how to surf, but I’m not a great swimmer, so I’m not sure how that would go. Can just barely keep my head above my water.” She laughed.

John B grinned. “We all love surfing. But JJ’s definitely the best. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind teaching you!” 

Ellie glanced at JJ in the water, and couldn’t help but blush once again. She couldn’t deny that he was attractive, and being alone with him on the beach might not be such a bad idea. 

John B noticed her stare and teased her, “Checking him out now are we?”

She playfully shoved him. “Shut up!”

Ellie loved how comfortable she felt with John B. He was easy to get along with and she enjoyed talking to him. It felt like they had been friends forever, they quickly fell into conversation and before she knew it the pogues were climbing back on the boat.

John B immediately told JJ about the fact that Ellie wanted to learn how to surf, and he agreed to teach her right away. It was an excuse for him to get to be alone with her, to get to know her a little better.

JJ couldn’t help but stare at Ellie as they made their way back to land. She was beautiful, he admired the way her hair fell on her shoulders, how her eyes glistened in the sunlight, the way she smiled while Pope was talking and laughed when Kie teased him. 

Ellie’s phone chimed and she picked it up, reading the text. It was from Rafe, asking her if she was busy, and if she wanted to come over again later. She quickly responded yes, smiling as she thought about seeing the boy again.

JJ didn’t miss the way she smiled at her phone, or how her eyes lit up. He quickly looked away, not wanting to think about who made her smile like that. She probably had a boyfriend. For the rest of the ride, JJ was silent. He shouldn’t feel like this anyways. He hardly knew her. And even though he had never felt like this before, he brushed it off, convincing himself that she was just another girl he wanted to fuck.

---

Ellie made her way to Rafe’s house for the second night in a row. She told her uncle she was spending the night at Sarah’s again. She had apologized profusely, feeling bad that she hadn’t spent more than an hour in her new home, but her uncle insisted it was fine, he was just happy she was making friends. 

Except she didn’t have a clue who this Sarah girl she was ‘staying with’ even was.

Ellie walked up to the front door of Rafe’s house (which was much bigger than her uncles) and knocked. A blonde girl around her age opened the door and smiled at her. “You must be Ellie. Ready for our sleepover?”

Ellie frowned, looking at the girl. “Sorry?”

The girl burst out laughing. “I’m Sarah. I saw your uncle Travis at the store earlier and he mentioned you spending the night with me last night... Of course, I don’t seem to remember that but I went along with him anyway, don’t worry.”

Ellie looked down sheepishly, she hadn’t expected to get caught in her lie. Sarah continued, “I assume you’ve been spending time with my brother. It’s all good, I don’t mind covering for you. Come in.”

Ellie stopped to talk to Sarah, she didn’t want to seem rude by running away, especially since the girl was helping her out. She was extremely nice, and they even made plans to hang out sometime.

She eventually made her way to Rafe’s room, knocking lightly on the door. “Come in!” Pushing open the door, she saw Rafe sat at his desk, lines of white powder present in front of him.

He wiped his nose. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting you for another 15 minutes.”

Ellie sat on his bed. “It’s okay,” She said quietly, eyeing the substance. It’s not like she hadn’t seen it before, but it intrigued her. She thought back to this morning when she had first seen the signs that Rafe was a drug user. 

He bent down, snorting another line. She watched closely, impressed with how effortless he made it. Ellie had never even smoked weed, terrified of falling in her mother’s footsteps. But Rafe made this look so cool, like it wasn’t even a big deal.

And maybe it wasn’t. Everyone had done coke a the parties she used to go to, treating it as nothing more than a sip of alcohol. Of course, no one had ever offered her any, knowing the story of her family. The story that Rafe didn’t know.

He noticed her staring. “Want a bump?”

She hesitated, knowing she shouldn’t. One line was all it would take. But Rafe was staring at her, a small smirk on his face, one line of powder left on the table. The look in his eye told her that he didn’t expect her to do it though, and she had to prove him wrong, she just had to. Plus, one line wouldn’t hurt. 

Ellie had seen her mom, seen what drug abuse turned into. She wouldn’t let that happen to her. A little bit of cocaine would hardly have an effect, she convinced herself, even though she knew that wasn’t true.

But she had a point to prove, and Ellie’s spitefulness wouldn’t let her say no. She knew she was younger than Rafe, and she didn’t want him to think of her as a frightened little girl. She had to prove herself to him.

She promised herself she would only do it once as she walked over to the desk and snatched the rolled bill from his hand, leaning down to the surface. As she breathed in, her nose burned slightly, the drug irritating her nostrils. Ellie stood back up, feeling slightly dizzy as she wobbled a bit.

Rafe reached out to grab her, pulling her down so she was sitting in his lap. “First time?” He asked as he reached around to brush the remains of the coke off her nose. She sniffled slightly, her nose already starting to run.

Ellie nodded, leaning back into his chest. Her head felt fuzzy, similar to alcohol, but not the same, and she found herself loving the feeling. It was better than alcohol had ever made her feel, and she wanted more, forgetting about the promise she had made herself. Her hand slightly trembled as she grabbed Rafe’s, gently rubbing his thumb. 

He turned her slightly, leaning in to press his lips to hers. His pupils were dilated and slightly bloodshot, and she knew hers would probably soon be the same. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, moving his hand down to squeeze her ass.

He pulled back. “Want to go to the bed?” 

She glanced back at the desk and the small baggie before shaking her head. “Let’s do another line first.”

Taglist: @prejudic3 @margaritatimebaybee 

[royalmuffinsworld]

Water and Blood |Part 2

Sakamaki Ayato x aquaphobic!reader

Warnings: Ayato being Ayato, aquaphobia, slightly nsfw

Pairing: Sakamaki Ayato x you

Word count: 1502

You were suffocating.

-The feeling of sinking into a bottomless lake, unable to move or struggle.

-You tried to scream but no sound left your lips as the water swallowed you into it's depts like a predator swallows it's prey. There was no up or down, no left or right. Only the feeling of water everywhere around you.

-The water shoved you around. Shaking your body and-

-With a gasp you opened your eyes.

-In the dark you made out a very worried Ayato who was kneeling next to you, hands still on your shoulders from trying to wake you up.

-Slowly you realized where you were. Ayatos room or rather his bed was painted in the grey shades of the night. Moonlight shone through the windows and illuminated the room. From your position you could make out the forests black treetops outside.

-After calming down a bit you let out a sigh. Another nightmare...

-Ever since the incident with the pool, a week ago you couldn't seem to find peace. You knew you should be trying to think rational instead of letting your fear control you but you couldn't help it. The thought that the whole torture process of fear and nightmares would start again had been frightening a week ago but now that it was actually happening...

-The nightly tossing and turning began again and couldn't seem to stop. It was exactly like back then.

-Ayato exhaled slowly as well.

-"It's not your fault. I didn't tell you so how were you supposed to know?" you asked him like the hundredth time this week and he looked at you with a mixture of a kicked puppy and a dead eyed look.

-He had been beating himself up all week.

-How could he have missed this important detail? He thought he knew you... And all the while you were suffering from the same fear he had all those years ago. He knew how bad it felt. The fear everytime an open water came into view. It made him feel even more guilty.

-And Ayato usually considered himself the best boyfriend to wander earth...

-Seeing how bad he felt about it, of course you had already forgiven him. Even though it was quite the dick move on his part...

-But you were too tired to deal with an Ayato who's ego was quite deflated so instead of trying to convince him furtherand possibly making the situation worse you just held his face in your hands and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

-Slowly he shut his eyes relishing in the feeling of being this close.

-His arms went around you to keep you from pulling away. Not like you were trying to but the gesture told you more than words ever could.

-And for a moment everything was just okay...

-As you were finding comfort in his arms he found it in yours and so for a while you just sat there nobody saying anything.

-Because you didn't need to talk. Not right now.

-After a while he pulled away.

-"Ayato?" you asked softly but he didn't respond. He just pulled you down into the bed again.

-Both of his arms went around your waist and he pulled you incredibly closer, your back now pressed against his chest.

-He snuggled his face into the crook of your neck.

-Your body now safely encased in his arms the two of you slowly succumbed to sleep.

––––

-A few days later you found yourself at the edge of the pool again. Ayato was swimming his lanes and you were about to call him for dinner because Reiji asked you to.

-As you walked towards the bench where his stuff laid, you always kept a safe distance of at least two meters to the water. The light glistened on the surface making it look like a sea of cristal. How could such a beautiful thing be so scary?

-He saw you come in and moved immediately into your direction.

-After getting his body out of the water he quickly crossed the distance between you and pulled your body into an embrace.

-A very wet,cold embrace...

-"Gahh! Oh my god, Ayato you're getting me all wet." you shrieked and immediately untangled yourself from him.

-He smirked, very satisfied with himself.

-"Don't I always do that?" he asked and you snorted, throwing a towel at him. He caught it, still grinning smugly and started drying himself off.

-When he was all finished you pulled him in for a quick kiss. He happily complied and sneaked one hand onto your backside, squeezing it possessively. You rolled your eyes with fake annoyance and smiled against his lips.

-"We need to go, Reiji will yell at you again..." you reminded.

-Ayato seemed to have no problem with this though as he pointedly ignored your comment and deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

-One of his hands was around your lower back to pull you closer, while the other layed on the back of your neck halfway tangled into your hair to keep you from pulling away.

-Not that you minded...

-As the kiss became more heated and intense with every passing second you put your hands around his neck as well and tilted your head to give him better access. Man he was way to good at this...

-Although you knew he'd had a lot more practice than you. He was about a few hundred years older than yourself after all.

-All rational thinking flew out of the window as he kissed you like he was a hungry wolf and you were his only prey after months of starvation.

-While you were a little distracted by his lips, Ayato had wandered both of his hands downwards.

-Now he picked you up, one hand under your bottom the other safely around your back, lips never leaving your own. You put your legs around him and tangled your hands into his fiery, red hair.

-Slowly he walked forwards till he could press you against the nearest wall.

-When he had your hips pinned firmly between his own and the solid tapestry behind you he pulled away and locked his poison green eyes onto yours. Seeing you all disheveled and out of breath because of him never failed to give his ego a huge push. It just made him so proud to be the only man to get you into this state.

-His lips started wandering now. He left a few little kisses on your face. Your nose was first, then your forehead and both your cheekbones.

-At your jaw he started a trail of longer kisses that soon turned into leaving hickies all over your neck. You probably looked like somebody had repeatedly punched you in the throat after he was finished with you. You were used to this side of him by now.

-Because he'd always had to fight his siblings for everything, even when he was a child, he became very possessive of the things he owned and cared about.

-And between getting to know him and becoming his girlfriend you had quickly and surely wormed your way into said category.

-Ayato made sure you had a few hickies somewhere visible at all times. After all everybody should always be able to tell you were Ore-samas property only. This of course included yourself.

-Although he made extra sure you knew who you belonged to as well, even if it meant leaving a few darker hickies in places only him and you would be able to see...

-On a particular spot over your collarbones he stopped moving. He kissed it once lovingly as to prepare that particular part of your body to what was coming.

-Then he bared his teeth.

-With a sound similar to biting into an apple he pushed through the outer layer of your skin and into your flesh.

-Your breath hitched and you pressed your teeth together as your brows furrowed at the pain.

-As he started sucking a small whimper left your mouth.

-"Shhh, baby. Just a bit longer," he calmed between gulps. He had slipped one hand under your top and was now rubbing soothing circles on your hip with his thumb. "I'll make it feel good soon," he breathed.

-True to his words a few moments later the pain in your neck started to fade and was replaced with immense pleasure.

-"Ayato," you moaned tilting your head to give him better access.

-He chuckled softly and bit down again, this time in a different spot.

-"That's right. Your mine. Your only mine. Nobody else can have you," he said, his eyes opening to burn the image of you into his mind once again.

-You completely surrendered yourself to the feeling of his piercing fangs.

-For the first time in days you finally were able to forget about your fear and let go.

Bonus:

-"You think they'll still come to dinner?" Kanato asked.

-Reiji sighed.

-"Let's just start without them..."

Did somebody say over five hundred words of making out with Ayato? Anyways I hope you liked it!

[willddheartt]

Run Away With Me | JJ Maybank | Part Five: Now

Series Warnings: Substances (Weed, drinking), a little angst, smut, mentions of abuse/toxic family.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Flashbacks in italic

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

“Welcome to Outer Banks, paradise on earth!” Lydia beamed as we passed the sign, I nodded happily as the knot in my stomach seemed incredibly tight.  “I got us an air BnB so we didn’t have to mess around with motels and such,” The strawberry blonde continued.  “That's great,” I replied. 

As we passed each landmark every memory flooded back. The parking lot where I had my first kiss, the corner where Kooks jumped me for the first time, the road to the Chateau. I wondered how the place was doing? Was it still standing? 

-

The front door slammed behind me as I stood at the stove, over a frying pan. “So you just go off for days, no contact or anything and then show up with no words?” The voice behind me was slurred, I froze.  “I was staying at Julia’s until you and mom cooled off,”  “Bullshit,” My dad said, “I called her parents, don’t fucking lie to me,” His voice was stern  “F-Fine,” I stuttered, “John B let me stay on his couch for a few nights,”  “Just like your mother,” He mumbled under his breath

I don't know what came over me, but hearing those words struck a nerve and I didn’t think about anything, his words hitting a spot, “What did you say?”  “Just like your mother,” Dad said again, slower and clearer this time  “So I'm like the woman who doesn’t help out with our bills? The same woman who goes off for days on end doing god knows what drugs and sleeping with whoever is around? The woman who was in an out of jail my entire childhood?” I took a breath, stopping when I felt a ball forming in my throat, “I’m like the woman who can't even pretend to care about her family enough to get cleaned up?” I finished  “Don’t say that!”  “Why!” I yelled, throwing my hands up and letting them come down to hit my sides, “It's the truth! Dad she had done nothing but put us in debt and throw her drug addiction onto us!”  “Don’t talk about your mother that way!” He threw the remote, just barely missing my knees as it smashed onto the floor. “Oh you’re just like her,” I sighed, turning the burner off. 

“You’re just like her,” I repeated louder, “Only instead of crack, it’s whatever alcohol you can get your hands on. You’re no better than her,” I spat, before slamming the door to my room.  I scrambled around, throwing a few extra items into my bag that I didn’t put in yet. I wasn’t staying here tonight, I couldn’t. Pulling the screen off my window, I dropped my bookbag out, then slid out of my window. 

I walked around town to cool off before heading back to John B’s. I had no set route in my head, I was just walking where my feet took me which happened to be the park. There was only one street lights that dimly lit the area, but it was enough for me to see the person sitting at the picnic table, the closer I got I recognized him. 

“JJ?” I asked standing behind him now  “Jessie?” He asked, turning around, “What are you doing here?”  I shrugged as I sat down next to him at the table, “I was gonna ask you the same thing,”  “John B and I got in a fight,” He sighed, “Nowhere else to go, you?”  “Dad and I got into one.” I sighed. 

The sound of crickets filled the silence that fell between us. 

“Run away with me,” I said out of the blue.  “What you mean tonight?” JJ asked  I nodded, “We can catch the 3am ferry and be gone by morning.”  “Come on, Jay, we have nothing to lose,” I said after a minute passed and he still hadn’t said anything. “I’m going with or without you JJ. If you decide, I’ll be at the ferry for 3:00.” I patted his shoulder before leaving the table and leaving the park. 

-

“What were you thinking about for lunch?” Lydia asked once we had settled into the Air BNB. As I lounged around the small room, I decided to not let my past affect the quality of this trip. It was meant to be a fun time for Lydia and I as a little vacation.  “Why don’t we check out some of the local restaurants on the eastside?” I asked “That sounds great, you wanna head out now?” I nodded, grabbing my small purse and sunglasses. 

As we walked along the area where Figure 8 met the cut I couldn’t tear my eyes off the water. The beaches were filled with tourists and locals. The surfers sat on their boards in the water, waiting for the perfect wave, I couldn't help as I tried to scan the faces of the surfers from afar, since coming back I couldn’t shake JJ from my thoughts.  Lydia suggested we eat at one of the restaurants closest to the beach, saying we could walk along the beach after lunch. I nodded, not exactly hearing what she was saying as I was still looking out at the surfers. She noticed my distracted state and helped steer me out of the way of strangers, that was until she got distracted herself. 

I was pulled out of my dazed and zoned out state until colliding with a stranger on the sidewalk.  “Oh my bad, I’m so sorry,” I said quickly, looking up to face the stranger I bumped, “I wasn’t paying attention,”  The man took off his sunglasses, placing them atop his hat and the breath left my lungs, “Holy shit,” I whispered to myself as I couldn't believe the sight in front of me, taking my sunglasses off to make sure I was seeing things properly. 

-

After sneaking back in my window, I went straight to the bathroom, getting the stash of cash we keep in an empty cleaner box for the winter. The last time I counted there was easily $3,000, that mixed with my work money I had been saving gave me $5,000. I knew it wasn't much but it was enough.  I stood outside the ferry after buying two tickets, waiting until the very last moment to board, hoping JJ was going to show.  “You have to board now,” The man said, I nodded sadly. 

“Sir do you have a ticket?” The man who had just asked me to board asked, I turned around, seeing JJ trying to give the man money, to which he was refusing.  I ran back down the ramp to where they stood, handing the extra ticket to the man.  “You came,” I said, to JJ once the man let him past.  JJ nodded, “I couldn’t let you go alone.”

[youthfulyang]

So Antisocial ` yoonkook`

producer x tattoo artist au

non-idol au

pairing: Yoongi x Jeongguk 

word count: 7K

~

"Oh my God."

Jeongguk stood in an awe. It was a miracle to see his hero in front of him, in the tattoo parlor he worked at.

Min Yoongi was much smaller in person was the first thought that came to mind. Though they stood a good few meters away from each other, it was clear that his eyes were at the same level as Jeongguk's lips.

Then, Jeongguk looked at the man's hair.

The last time Jeongguk saw Min Yoongi on TV the man had blond hair, but under the hat he was wearing, the younger saw the little bits of his hair poking out. Yoongi had dyed his hair red and boy was Jeongguk just dying to catch a glimpse of the whole thing.

Lastly, Jeongguk already knew Yoongi was a very attractive man, but he was certainly way more attractive in real life. One hundred times more attractive he thought.

"I-It's such an honor to meet y-you.." Jeongguk managed to stutter out the words he had been meaning to say the whole time.

Yoongi only bowed with a slight smile on his lips. He wasn't arrogant or anything, but he was used to getting that kind of treatment from others. Jeongguk wasn't anyone special to him. He was just another fan and he decided to treat him the same way he treats all his other fans.

Jeongguk didn't think too much about it, he was just happy to be in the same room as his idol. Eventually he was disappointed to find out he wasn't going to be doing a tattoo for Yoongi, but instead for the friend that came with him.

Luckily the tattoo would take probably 4 hours to get done. Jeongguk sighed happily, 4 hours with his idol.

~

"Why did you drag me here.."

Yoongi was pissed to say the least. He would rather spend his free time at home or at his studio to work on new releases, but Taehyung wouldn't let him.

"I'm not doing this on my own!" Taehyung was extremely terrified of needles or anything sharp in general, especially if they were near him. Which was why Yoongi was surprised when he decided to get a tattoo.

At first Yoongi tried to persuade him not to get the tattoo, worried that it might somehow damage his very successful modeling career, but Taehyung didn't care and said, "Hyung, the girls will love it! I'll look more manly and shit, I don't know!" Yoongi gave up and decided to support his best friend anyway.

The first few minutes of getting the tattoo done was quite difficult for the three men. Taehyung was struggling to stay still, Jeongguk had trouble calming down his customer, while Yoongi just sat in the room, annoyed with his friend's cries.

"How do you do it, man.." Taehyung looked up at the tattoo artist. Jeongguk had tattoos inked all over his skin. The sleeveless shirt he wore gave a clear view of the tattoos that were trailing from his arms up to his neck. All the details of every single tattoo complimented him well and Yoongi in a way was infatuated with what he saw.

"How can you.. Doesn't all of that hurt..?" Taehyung asked again, his tears were threatening to spill out.

"Ah, well I've gotten used to it after all these years." Jeongguk smiled at his customer and assured him that everything was going to be okay.

Slowly, Yoongi knew what kind of person Jeongguk was. He was sweet and gentle despite his outer appearance. The intimidating amount of tattoos, crazy piercings, the slick, black hair masked his innocent heart.

~

"Did he just faint?"

"Fuck, he did.."

Jeongguk wasn't completely in shock. Taehyung wasn't the first person to have fainted during his session, but it was still rare to have a customer faint, Jeongguk was still surprised. He was mostly confused about how nonchalant Yoongi's reaction was.

"You seem pretty calm about this, haha.."

"I kind of expected him to black out, not gonna lie."

At that moment Jeongguk almost exploded. The whole situation still seemed unreal for him and though for the most part he was more focused on getting Taehyung to regain consciousness, he couldn't help but sneak some glances at Yoongi.

His heart began to beat faster upon seeing Yoongi take off his hat and ruffle his red hair back into place. The color suited him well and Jeongguk felt his own face turning red as well, but he had to focus because in the end he still had a job to do and he didn't want to get fired for messing up.

After about a minute in, Taehyung was still passed out and all Jeongguk could hope for was that the ice pack on his forehead he provided would help.

"Does this happen often?" From the corner of the room, Yoongi decided to speak up.

"Ah, uh, sometimes.."

"How long have you been doing this?"

Though he didn't want it to show, and it most likely did, Jeongguk was extremely nervous. It should've been Jeongguk asking the questions, but it was the other way around. He was so shy that Yoongi was somewhat showing interest in him.

"About 3 years I think." He managed to smile through his anxiousness. Talking about his job as a tattoo artist made him proud, he loved his job too much.

Yoongi nodded and started asking more questions about his job and about tattoos in general to which Jeongguk answered all happily. In a way Jeongguk was kind of happy Taehyung fainted because it meant he could talk to his idol, but he still made sure Taehyung was okay nonetheless.

"I got a tattoo of one of your lyrics, by the way.." The younger admitted, looking down at the ground bashfully.

"Really?" Yoongi was surprised. "Where? Can I see?"

Slowly they both saw that Taehyung was about to wake up, and Jeongguk placed his index finger over his lips.

"It's a secret."

~

Yoongi broke his promises again. And though he wasn't affected the slightest bit he wanted to know what it was Jeongguk wasn't telling him.

So after 6 hours of Taehyung getting his tattoo, right before they left Yoongi asked if he wanted to see him sometime, and that's what led to the moment that would change Jeongguk's life.

It was like a dream that came to life to be picked by Yoongi after his shift ended. Though Jeongguk didn't know exactly what to expect, he thought Yoongi was going to show him around his studio or show him some clips of future releases.

Never in Jeongguk's life did he think he'd be pushed against the wall while Yoongi attacked his lips with harsh kisses, not giving him any space to think or even say a word. He would've asked Yoongi to calm down. Being taller, more muscular than the man before him, he knew he had the physical strength to pull him away for a moment, but he decided against it.

Yoongi was so demanding with every move he made and it just made Jeongguk fall so weak to his touch, he wanted more. There was no time for Yoongi to hesitate, he just did whatever he knew he had to in order to get what it was that he wanted, so he kissed him so passionately and every now and then he'd part their lips to catch his breath, but they continued the make out session for a while.

After some time, Yoongi took his arm and dragged Jeongguk impatiently to his bed, making sure that their lips never let go of each other the whole way there.

Things were happening so fast and Jeongguk didn't understand what was going on. Though he wasn't a stranger to sleeping with people he didn't know too well, he had never been with a man before. He wasn't used to the feeling of being dominated by another person but Yoongi just made everything feel so right.

Once they finally made it to the bedroom, Yoongi yanked his shirt  over his head along with Jeongguk's. He pushed his guest onto his bed and he got a clear view of all the tattoos that coated almost his entire torso leading up to the side of his neck, ending right under the jawline.

And finally, Yoongi calmed down. His breath was steady and his eyes are taking in every detail of every single tattoo on the man. Jeongguk however was utterly stunned, he was struggling to breathe steadily and he had never felt so vulnerable in front of another person.

The blood rushed up to Jeongguk's cheeks, he was waiting for Yoongi to strike his next move, but so far all he did was stand over him so Jeongguk sat up straight and gathered all his confidence to finally say something.

"What's wrong?" He hesitated to throw his arms around Yoongi's neck, so instead he placed his hand gently on Yoongi's cheek.

His face hadn't changed the slightest bit. The expression he held the entire time was cold and almost distant which confused Jeongguk even more. That was until the older man delicately lied him back down on the mattress, pinning both his hands over his head and kissed him softly.

"Everything's perfect.."

Finally, Yoongi gave him the smile Jeongguk had been dying to see up close for the longest time. Though there was a major shift in his actions, Jeongguk didn't mind though, if anything he preferred him like that.

Jeongguk was just craving for the gentle care and that was exactly what he was getting. He loved the way Yoongi's hands were roaming around freely around every inch of his body, butterfly kisses planted on the crook of his neck, while Yoongi just made sure that there was nothing Jeongguk had to besides lie down perfectly and enjoy himself.

Whilst scanning the inked art on Jeongguk's rib cage, he found what it was he was looking for.

"If the target of your loathing is me, I'll go up on the guillotine."

~

As expected, Jeongguk woke up sore, but he didn't mind. The pleasure he experienced the night before overpowered the pain. But Jeongguk had questions with answers he was desperate for.

They were facing each other, faces only mere centimetres apart, the heat of their bodies brought warmth to one another and Jeongguk was so content being tangled up in Yoongi's embrace.

"Yoongi.." He whispered.

He hummed in response and brushed the younger's raven hair back. Even he had to admit Jeongguk was extremely attractive, it was crazy how much more beautiful he could get up close.

"Why did you take me here in the first place?"

The question made Yoongi upset. He was upset at himself for not following his own rules. He was upset with Jeongguk for being such a tempting bait. It was people that were so submissive and naive like Jeongguk that pulled Yoongi back into his old habits. But he wasn't going to tell him any of that, so for now he'll just gve in to his old ways. One last time.

"I like you."

Hearing those words, Jeongguk swore his heartbeat stopped for a moment.

"Y-you do? Why?"

Jeongguk seriously was losing his mind. And when Yoongi responded by showering him with compliments and kisses all over his face, he felt as though it was all too good to be true, still he truly wanted to believe it was real.

"But you don't even know me.." He pulled away from Yoongi's arms and was still searching for a clearer answer. "You do this with a lot of your fans, right?" His own words hurt him more than he thought it would.

He felt so stupid for thinking that he was different from all of his other fans, but Yoongi wasn't having it. It was pissing him off that Jeongguk was distancing himself. He just needed to get him back.

"You're different though.." His voice was low, the expression on his face was a little unreadable but it made Jeongguk feel bad for making his idol look so sad. Did I offend him?  He thought to himself.

"I get it though." He looked at Jeongguk with pleading eyes. "But if you give this a chance," Yoongi pulled Jeongguk back into a sweet hug. "I can make you the happiest person in the world.."

With that, Jeongguk was in a complete trance. He gave in. Maybe a little too quickly.

~

"You're in a good mood," Jimin eyed his best friend weirdly. "why?"

Jeongguk simply smiled brightly at him, "I'm always in a good mood, right?"

That was mostly true. Jeongguk would rarely show up to work looking upset, he was always such a ray of sunshine, his killer smile would always attract new customers, but maybe that also had a lot to do with his looks.

Jeongguk was tall, a perfectly defined body in general, his cutely shaped lips and doe eyes that still managed to fit well with his image as very masculine, his choice in style didn't leave much to the imagination either. It was always the tight jeans with huge rips in the front and shirts that either had a low cut or no sleeves. His thighs were also out of this world, of course they were.

"Is this about the producer guy that came in a few days ago?"

Jeongguk sighed, disappointed that Jimin was so ignorant.

"He's not just some random producer guy, Jimin. For all you know he could be the person that wrote and produced some of the music you saved on your phone!"

Jimin just rolled his eyes and regretted ever opening his mouth. Still, he was glad that Jeongguk was looking very cheerful. Then he saw the purple marks on his neck and snorted. Jimin couldn't believe that he didn't even bother to cover up his hickeys.

"You're real bold, Ggukie."

Days passed by, and Yoongi's bond with Jeongguk was getting stronger and stronger and Jeongguk just couldn't get enough of Yoongi. He was so hungry for his attention and was willing to do anything to just spend the whole day doing nothing but just be with his idol.

Yoongi would encourage Jeongguk to skip work and lie about being sick to his boss just to be with him. At first Jeongguk declined the idea, but for some reason he was just so good with his words that Jeongguk just had to do what he said.

"I haven't had any inspiration lately anyway.. I thought you could help me.." He whined in such a sultry manner that turned Jeongguk on so much. It was rare to see Yoongi acting like that, how could he say no?

"Ah.. Alright, fine!" He gave in to Yoongi's magic once again, with no thought of regret crossing his mind.

 ~

"If the target of your loathing is me, I'll go up on the guillotine."

Months later, the two were on Yoongi's couch and out of nowhere Yoongi decided to bring up the topic of Jeongguk's tattoo once again.

"Why that lyric out of every other song?"

Jeongguk was lying his head on Yoongi's lap, then looked up at the man, trying his best to think of an answer.

"Hmm, well, I guess I feel like I relate to the words a lot."

Yoongi placed his notebook down next to him, he had been thinking of lyrics for his unreleased songs. But now he wanted to focus more on his baby.

"You relate to it? Why?"

Yoongi tilted his head to the side with a pout on his face, his hand made its way under Jeongguk's shirt, then carefully traced the outlines of his abs. Jeongguk's breath hitched a little at the contact but continued to answer the question.

"Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I just feel like I always try so hard to make the people around me happy but it gets tiring and it makes me sad sometimes.." He admitted, his tone got more serious than before.

Yoongi nodded understandingly and asked again.

"Do I make you tired?" The caressing of Yoongi's hand stopped and Yoongi patted Jeongguk's messy hair instead.

"No." He sighed blissfully.

"Do I make you sad?" His fingers fell to Jeongguk's lips, then down to his jaw

"No.. You don't." His voice got smaller as Yoongi brought his face closer to the younger's lips.

At that point their lips were only a few millimetres apart that their lips were practically touching already. The anticipation was killing the raven haired man, but he was in a way too afraid to make the first move, or maybe he was just trying to savor the moment, letting his mind realize that everything was real.

Then finally Yoongi said it.

"I love you."

~

"Yoongi.."

"What the fuck is it this time."

He was getting sick of Jeongguk's voice. Talking about this, asking about that, rambling about useless shit and Yoongi's patience was running thin. All he wanted was to sew Jeongguk's mouth shut at that point.

"You should really just lay off the drugs and-"

"Why? You don't love me anymore cause I'm an addict? You don't like it when I get drunk?!"

There it was again. Jeongguk was slowly getting used to Yoongi getting high in the beginning of the relationship. He thought it was rather normal, most adults did it for the sake of feeling good but lately Yoongi had been going overboard.

The memories of Yoongi getting a heart attack brought tears to Jeongguk's eyes. The last thing he ever wanted was to see his boyfriend get hurt, especially if it meant going to the hospital.

"It's not normal for a person your age to get a heart attack, Yoongi! What if it happe-"

"So be it! Why the fuck does it matter if I die anyway!" He threw his glass filled with unfinished whiskey on the ground, the shards scattered all across the floor but Yoongi didn't care much for it.

"It's my fucking body! If I die, it's my call!"

He yelled at Jeongguk, another thing Jeongguk had been getting used to. But it was scary whenever he got physical, when he hit him, choked him on the bed violently just like in that moment. That was something he could never get used to.

Jeongguk's vision started to blur. Maybe because of the lack of air or the pools of tears in his eyes, but he regained his ability to breath clearly when Yoongi just stopped.

His tears fell onto Jeongguk's cheek. Yoongi couldn't hold in his cries anymore and began to weep as he hovered above his precious baby. Apologies spilling out of his lips nonstop and his sobs got louder and louder.

"I didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm crazy."

"Please forgive me."

"I love you."

And more were repeated and Jeongguk felt so bad. He had never seen Yoongi cry the way he did and that was also when he realized that though Yoongi knew so much about Jeongguk, Jeongguk knew almost nothing about Yoongi. Of course Yoongi would get angry at me, he thought to himself.

He began to notice that there must've been so many emotions that Yoongi had been suppressing for the longest time and even Jeongguk wasn't aware of what it was that was going on in his head.

"I'm sorry too.. I'll make it up to you in the morning, okay?"

"Mhm.. Okay.."

~

They had just woken up after a long night of sleep. The feeling of Yoongi's hands wrapped around his neck, choking him, still lingered, but he did his best to forget about it by reminding himself that Yoongi was drunk and it was an accident. He wasn't in his right mind.

But now it was the morning, the past is in the past and Jeongguk was going to finally do what he needed to in order to fix their relationship.

"Yoongi."

"Hmm?"

Yoongi stood next to Jeongguk, he watched him make pancakes for breakfast and it was always good to know that not only was Jeongguk good company but he could cook too, even though he wasn't a pro.

"Tell me more about yourself."

"Huh? What are we strangers?" The older chuckled and snuck his arms around his boyfriend's waist. He wasn't exactly tall enough to rest his head on his shoulders, so Yoongi settled for his back.

"All I know about you is either from the internet or just basic info like your favorite food or color. I don't know your friends, family, I don't know anything.."

He switched the stove off and turned to face Yoongi. His soft, red hair was so messy as he just got out of bed, his mouth still reeked of alcohol though he had brushed his teeth already, but that didn't get in the way of Jeongguk planting a kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

"You know I don't have any friends besides Taehyung and I'm not in contact with my family anymore.."

"Tell me why then."

Jeongguk held him tighter, not wanting his questions to offend him in any way. Really he was just curious. There must've been a reason for his secret keeping.

However, Yoongi wasn't going to be easy like that. He'll make Jeongguk learn himself, who Yoongi truly was.

"What about you tell me about what you know so far?"

Yoongi was being difficult, creating a little game and Jeongguk had to solve the puzzle, but he was willing to go a long if it meant he got answers.

So he got a plate and stacked exactly three pancakes on Yoongi's plate with ten slices of strawberries on the side and maple syrup drizzled on top, but not too much. Why did he have to know about Yoongi's eating preferences but not about his personal life.. It was frustrating.

They sat in the dining room in peace and while Yoongi ate, Jeongguk chose to skip breakfast.

"You aren't eating?"

"No, I'm good."

Yoongi shrugged and continued eating, he was waiting for Jeongguk to basically interrogate him.

"So you wrote a song for Suran right? Wine?"

Yoongi nodded, smiling as he knew where the question was going.

"In an interview, you said your first love broke your heart and you said it scarred you. What happened?"

"Haha. Jeongguk, you're so naive, just like everyone else."

The red haired man placed his fork and knife down, leaning closer towards his baby, "This is a secret, okay? But that's just called a marketing strategy."

Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"You think I'd let a girl cheat on me like that? Fucking hilarious." Yoongi was amused by how the public so easily believed all his lies. "I knew if I said that more people would feel bad, therefore feel inclined to buy the song."

Then he proceeded to point at his shelf, stacked with all the awards he had won over the years.

"I'm not letting anyone break me that easily, Ggukie."

"So were all of the things you say in interviews a lie?" Jeongguk asked, was everything about Yoongi he fell in love with all not even true? Then again, he shouldn't have believed everything he heard online.

"I don't know, maybe? I lose track of the things I say on camera, haha!" He was delighted to see the distressed look on Jeongguk''s face. That was a common feeling he experienced when being with Yoongi, along with confusion and uncertainty.

"Why? Are you angry at me?" He put on a pout on his face again, turning on the switch that allowed his tears to fall.

"It's hard for me Jeongguk.. I lie to them because I needed to prove to my family that I can be successful in this work field. If I fail, they'll laugh at me again, remind me that I'm a talentless loser."

Jeongguk cursed at himself again. He was so pissed that all he ever did lately was make Yoongi cry.

"That's why I lie, that's why I don't talk to my family. There, now you know." Yoongi stood up so abruptly from his chair, not even going to bother with finishing his food.

"I have work to do." Yoongi glared at Jeongguk with no emotion in his eyes and turned away. "You should go. I'm getting distracted."

And so with a heavy heart, Jeongguk left Yoongi's apartment with trails of tears in his eyes.

"Why am I such an asshole.."

~

"What's up with you, man?"

Jimin just finished a four hour session with a client and saw Jeongguk enter the room with a miserable look on his face. But then again, everything about his outward appearance was so miserable.

"Hey.. Are you okay? You've been calling in sick a lot lately." Jimin crouched down to take a peek at his best friend, but he had his hands covering up his pitiful face.

"Jeongguk, look at me. Come on." Jimin had the patience level of zero and pried Jeongguk's hands off and there he saw how pale and Jeongguk actually got, the bags under his eyes were so visible even under the dimmed lights.

The shorter male's expression softened at the sight. "What happened, Gguk? If you were still sick you should've stayed at home. You know I'd always cover up for you."

Jimin's thoughtful words brought a smile to Jeongguk's face for a while, but then the sadness washed over him once again.

"It's not that, hyung.."

"Hmm? What is it then?"

"Yoongi hates me!" Jeongguk shouted full of pain. Tackling the blond man with a hug. A hug he so badly needed. He knew he was in the wrong, pressuring Yoongi to tell him the truth when he wasn't even ready yet, but it still broke his heart whenever he couldn't even hold Yoongi's hand.

They hadn't seen each other in three days because Jeongguk was so afraid of saying the wrong things again and that's what he told Jimin.

"Well, you guys have been together for five months right?" Jeongguk nodded.

"Of course you'd want to know more about him! What's so wrong about that?!"

Jimin was angry, but angry was also an understatement. He wondered how anyone would dare to hurt someone as fragile as Jeongguk.

"But I forced him, hyung! It was a sensitive topic for him! He wasn't ready.."

"I guess you have a point." Jimin was stubborn but decided there was no point in fighting back. "Just go to his apartment and apologize, can you do that?"

"I'm scared.. What if I make things worse?" Fear was written all over Jeongguk's face. Fear of being abandoned by the first person he had ever looked up to as a hero. Fear of being left by the person he fell in love with.

So Jimin assured him that everything was going to be okay and he was going to help Jeongguk get Yoongi back the next day.

For the most part, Jeongguk felt reassured, he had a good feeling in his heart, everything was going to be just great tomorrow.

But then Jeongguk went home and got a knock on his door.

~

The tears were running down his cheeks, then fell down to his shoes.

Yoongi was so angry at Jeongguk. "Why the fuck didn't you call me?!" His heart was beating at a rapid speed and the veins in his neck were showing up.

"I tell you to leave the apartment ONE time and you decide to NEVER come back?! Is that what you thought I wanted?!"

"W-wait, the neighbors will-"

"Fuck them! What matters is that you're being a complete jerk, you know that!"

Yoongi pushed past Jeongguk, letting himself in and slammed Jeongguk onto the door and locking it at the same time.

His lips crashed against Jeongguk's and he almost forgot how addictive the older man felt against him, and strangely enough there was no taste or smell of alcohol. He was sober doing this, he was almost never sober when he cried or broke down the way he did now.

But kissing just wasn't enough for Yoongi. He tugged on Jeongguk's hair roughly, a soft moan escaped his lips and Yoongi took that as a chance for his tongue to explore and violate every inch of Jeongguk's mouth. And when he was done, he left sloppy, wet kisses all over the younger's neck, sucking on the flesh that got him to whimper in nothing but pleasure. Once he was finished marking the skin purple, Yoongi kicked his shoes off and pulled him to the sofa he saw in the corner of his eye.

Jeongguk let himself fall on the couch and watched desperately as Yoongi unbuttoned his shirt as fast as he could. The hot tension between them was so apparent and nothing like it had ever been before. Finally after what felt like an eternity, Yoongi managed to get the shirt off and he hovered above Jeongguk as usual but he wanted to make Jeongguk wait.

"Why did you stop?" His breath was unstable and he had longed for this to happen again. Making love with Yoongi was the only thing that kept him going for the past few months.  

"I'm not giving this to you so easily."

"Please.. I'm sorry. I won't do that again.."

"Really?" He licked Jeongguk's earlobe sensually, whispering the words slowly, to which sent tingles throughout Jeongguk's body. Making it harder for Jeongguk to contain himself.

"Yes, I swear! Please just fuck me already.."

"As you wish, beautiful."

~

"Yoongi?"

"What the fuck is it now, baby.." Yoongi's voice was muffled by the pillow under his head.

Jeongguk chuckled at the sight before him. He knew Yoongi wasn't a morning person. And after a night of unholy acts it made sense that Yoongi would take longer to wake up. He was exhausted and wasn't ready to deal with the world just yet.

"Would you ever get a tattoo?"

Yoongi grunted in annoyance but eventually sat up straight. It was obvious Jeongguk didn't care about Yoongi's lack of sleep, so he decided to just do what it was that Jeongguk wanted.

"Me?" He thought for a while, but then realized that tattoos were never anything that he was crazy about.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Really?!" Jeongguk's eyes widened in delight.

"Yeah, why not?" Yoongi was a person that had no time for regret. If he were to do something, he'll do it without a second thought.

Jeongguk untangled himself from the sheets and ran out of his room to go grab something important.

Yoongi didn't wait for him to come back, instead he enjoyed his moments of peace before he was going to be disrupted by Jeongguk again.

"Would you get a tattoo right now though?" His hands were full with his tattoo equipment and Yoongi didn't think Jeongguk was serious at first. But he should've known at that point that Jeongguk was very spontaneous.

Yoongi sighed and watched as Jeongguk was setting up all of the things he needed on his bed. Then he handed Yoongi a book filled with all the things he drew for inspiration.

"You can look in here and choose one if you don't know what you want."

Yoongi snatched the small book from Jeongguk's hands and scanned through the pages.

Jeongguk was so obviously excited, he was imagining how insane it'd be to have his art on Yoongi's virgin skin.

But Yoongi didn't have an eye for art. He was unimpressed and bored.

"They all look boring."

He then proceeded to throw the book on Jeongguk's lap. His pride was so hurt by the small comment made by the person he loved most. Both his tattoos and art were the things he was most proud of himself for, Yoongi knew that. So how could he so carelessly judge like that?

Jeongguk felt as though he needed his validation, but he got blatantly rejected.

"Oh.. Okay then what do you want then?"

"Hmm, I want something really beautiful."

Once again he was hurt that his art wasn't considered beautiful in Yoongi's eyes, but then he figured that everyone had different tastes.

"Beautiful like?"

Yoongi pretended to think. He tapped his lips with his index finger, hummed and enjoyed his baby's pitiful face.

"I want something beautiful," He leaned closer to Jeongguk's face.

"Just" Cupped his face with his hands.

"Like" Pulled Jeongguk to his lap.

"You." And kissed the top of Jeongguk's head with love .

He smirked proudly to see that he got Jeongguk looking like a blushing mess. He pushed back Jeongguk's bangs and kissed his forehead. "Ah, but there's nothing in this world that's even remotely close to looking as beautiful as you."

Jeongguk giggled at his lover's cheesy lines, what's gotten into him was all he kept thinking about.

"Ah.. I'm serious, Yoongi! I wanna give you a tattoo right now."

"Hah, why is that?"

"So I can be your first." The words weren't supposed to be as sexual as it was, but being on Yoongi's lap just aroused him so badly. "I wanna be the first to take away the innocence of your skin.."

Jeongguk was so bold all of the sudden which took Yoongi by surprise. He bit a sensitive part of his skin and Yoongi tried his best not to make a single noise but a small grunt was heard not long after. "So can I?"

"Yeah, yeah alright. What don't I do for you, baby?"

His words were sweet like honey and brought a smile to Jeongguk's face.

"What do you want then?"

Yoongi didn't think long and traced a line over a specific tattoo on Jeongguk's body.

"If the target of your loathing is me, I'll go up on the guillotine."

~

Jimin stood outside Jeongguk's apartment. Worried and stomping on the ground like there's no tomorrow.

"Come on, open the door, Ggukie.." He mumbled to himself.

Jeongguk had missed work for four days in a row which was so unlike him. Their boss was worried that something had happened to him and told Jimin to go check up on him. So he did.

Jimin came with a hat and a bomber jacket, a scarf to ensure complete warmth to top it all off. He also brought a pot of warm soup just in case his best friend didn't have anything to eat.

After knocking on the door a few more times, the door finally opened, revealing Jeongguk with only a pair of shorts and a thin, white shirt. From standing outside the apartment itself, Jimin knew that the heater was off and Jeongguk's chapped lips, pale face only made the entire scene even more heartbreaking.

"Jeongguk what the hell!" He pushed past Jeongguk and let himself in.

Jimin went to the living room and placed the pot of soup on the coffee table before kicking his shoes off.

"It's winter! Why didn't you dress warm! The heaters are off! Are you even eating at all?"

Jeongguk couldn't remember when was the last time he actually took care of himself. Everything that happened after Yoongi broke up with him was a blur.

"He never loved me, Jimin.."

"What?"

"Please.. Don't make me say it again."

The sheer memory of Yoongi calmly telling Jeongguk to gather all his stuff and leave was so unreal. It felt as though he was taking a calm walk on the beach when suddenly a huge school bus came and crashed into him. Random and surprising.

He swore that everything had been going well besides the occasional arguments, but the things they fought about was nothing they weren't able to fix. Why did he have to end the relationship so abruptly like that?

"He just said to me one day, take all my stuff and leave." He was choking on his words, "A-and I asked him, what I d-did wrong, right?" He was a stuttering mess. "He s-said he didn't want me anymore. He didn't nee-need me anymore!" And so he sobbed on the ground, his face buried deep in his palms, he was shouting so loudly as if he was hoping that Yoongi would hear him and come back. But why would one come back if from the beginning the moments they shared were one sided.

Jimin ran to Jeongguk's bedroom, pulling the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around Jeongguk's cold body. The cries were so painful to Jimin's ears that he couldn't help but let a tear or two slip. But he had to switch on the heaters first before he could finally comfort the younger man.

Finally when the tasks were done Jimin finally got down to his knees and curled up under the blanket next to Jeongguk. He took off his bomber jacket and scarf, wrapping the two around the raven haired man, adding some extra and very needed warmth. But lastly, he hugged Jeongguk tightly, transferring as much of his body heat to him as he could.

"I'm going to kill that bitch."

~

"Open up, dickhead!"

Jimin stomped extremely impatiently stomped on the floor, knocking on the door nonstop. It seemed to be a pattern for Jimin at that point, but instead of soup, the blond man just brought a whole lot of attitude.

He heard a person groaning from the other side and finally the door opened. Jimin was so offended to see Yoongi look so calm and collected after what he had done to Jeongguk.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah you can actually. Just shut the fuck up and listen." He was fired up and the fact that Yoongi didn't even flinch pissed him off even more.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you really fucked up, Jeongguk, you know that?" His blood was boiling and his vision slowly started to blur, but he couldn't start tearing up in front of Yoongi. He was just so mad that his emotions were all over the place.

"If you were never interested in him, why couldn't you just leave him alone?! He's such a sweet guy and I've never in all the years that I've known him, seen him look so miserable. That was of course before you ruined his life!"

The blond man had his hands balled in fists. He was so tempted to just beat him up right then and there, but controlled himself, waited to hear what the asshole in front of him had to say.

He started off with a sigh, and rubbed his face tiredly. "Listen,  I didn't mean to hurt him like that."

"Oh, yeah sure, what the fuck does that mean? You just accidentally messed with his feelings for over half a year? You didn't mean to do that?"

When Jimin puts it that way, even Yoongi had to admit it sounded ridiculous. But it was in a way true.

"I didn't want to mess him up like that but he just made it so difficult."

With that, Jimin was left in an awe. He was utterly disgusted by the man's careless behavior.    

"Okay, I get it. All the times you insulted his work, his looks, all the times you yelled at him and abused him was all an accident. Oh, but the last one was totally alright cause you were drunk. It's alright, just blame it all on the alcohol instead of your recklessness."

Jimin spat. He didn't care if he was crying at that point. He didn't let the pain in his chest stop him from spilling the facts.

"You." Jimin pushed his index finger onto Yoongi's chest. "You are a fucking monster." He pushed him harshly again.

"If I ever catch you near Jeongguk again," Jimin held onto the doorknob.

"I will fucking kill you."

And slammed the door in his face and made his way back to Jeongguk's apartment. But first he felt like he needed a bath after encountering what he thought was the human replica of garbage.

~

"Hyung.. I really think you should go see that therapist again.."

"No, Tae, it won't help."

"Please?" Taehyung was practically begging at that point.

Taehyung felt so bad for Jeongguk after hearing the things Yoongi had just told him.

"It didn't work last time, why would it help now?"

"Let that kid be your motivation to heal! Come on, hyung.. You can't be like this forever.." Though Taehyung knew that some of the things that Yoongi had done to others were unforgivable, Taehyung knew that Yoongi's actions were sometimes beyond his control in some ways.

Yoongi stared at Taehyung confused. "That kid? My what? Motivation?" He laughed at how silly Taehyung's suggestion was.

"How was that kid any different from all the other fans that I've slept with?"

Taehyung thought hard. Anything he said wasn't going to help so he had to be smart about it.

"Well, for starters.. He was the person you had the longest relationship with." Then he thought again.

"You got a matching tattoo with him didn't you? Don't even think about getting it removed." Taehyung said with a stern voice, but it was difficult to take him seriously with the animal print, face mask on.

He continued to list more reasons though. But none of them stuck with Yoongi and Taehyung gave up on convincing him. Yoongi was such a stubborn and narcissistic man, it was close to impossible to change his mind, but Taehyung loved him too much to give up.

"Listen.. if you don't make an appointment.. I'm just gonna call them and make one for you!"

Yoongi wasn't shocked at all by his determination, but then he couldn't understand where that determination came from exactly.

"You know.. his friend was right about me being a monster."

"No you're not. You're just a wounded soul waiting to be saved."

"I don't want-"

"You need this, hyung. You just don't realize it yet." Taehyung cut him off completely. Yoongi was just too predictable.

Taehyung's heart ached, but in a good way. He was happy and had a good feeling for Yoongi's future. And he wanted to make sure that Yoongi knew that.

"Everyone deserves love, hyung. Even sociopaths.."