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siren-nate · 2 years

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Every Metroid Prime boss ranked from worst to best

Ground rules: No repeating fights. That means no bosses that you fight multiple instances of with nothing changing, and no bosses that just become regular enemies later on. If a boss has multiple phases that have to be fought in order, all of those phases will be considered together, not separately. Lastly, I won't be counting Hunters bosses because I just haven't played the game and it's more of a spinoff than anything else. Also, only the top thirty entries get images, because that's Tumblr's limit, apparently.

Putting this under a readmore because, obviously, it's goddamned huge.

36) Alpha Blogg

FUCK THIS THING.

I hate, hate, hate, HATE, HATE, HATE THE ALPHA BLOGG. How are you supposed to fight it? No, legitimately, somebody explain to me what the intended way to fight this fucking thing is. It only shows its weak spot for a fraction of a second right before it attacks you, sometimes it doesn't show that weak spot and has absolutely no tell for when it is or isn't going to, and sometimes it just randomly combos into you three or four times before finally letting you get away from it. The only weapons that do significant damage to it (super missile and darkburst) take a second to fire off after you hit the missile button, making it even more stupidly difficult to get the timing perfect and actually damage the Alpha Blogg.

I'm not joking when I say that as far as I can tell, the only way to fight this stupid fucking fish is to continuously suicide-attack it and hope that you get enough blind luck attacks in that it dies before you do. I'm not even mentioning that every time you die to it, you have to replay a huge chunk of its area again due to poor checkpoint implementation. Fuck. This. Boss.

35) Power Bomb Guardian

Here's a boss fight that I'm honestly shocked doesn't get more hate. The Power Bomb Guardian is annoying. Yes, there's a certain art to baiting it into shooting power bombs in a direction you're not actually going due to how strongly it leads its shots and re-aims on a dime, but no matter how good you get at it, there's always going to be several times where getting knocked off the wall and forced to start the climb all over again is just unavoidable. God, I hate this stupid thing.

34) Cloaked Drone

This one's just lame. I hate boss fights where either you don't know the trick and it's a nightmare, or you do know the trick and it's trivial, and that's exactly what this is. Either you don't use the Wavebuster and it's a nightmare because it's an extremely agile invisible enemy, or you do and it's not even a fight anymore.

33) Pirate Commander

The perfect microcosm of why Prime 3's combat sucks. All he does is teleport around, summon commandos for you to insta-kill with the nova beam after struggling to land that perfect hit on them, and use the same attacks as a commando. Despite this, he has what feels like ten times the health of one, and all his teleporting means it's near-impossible to lay down serious damage against him. It's just an unfun slog of chewing through a very irritating damage sponge with the same, single attack over and over until it finally dies. Again, Prime 3's combat in a nutshell.

32) Jump Guardian

Possibly the most forgettable boss fight in the whole series. It really is just a Warrior Ing with a bigger health bar and a slam-the-ground-make-a-shockwave-attack, also known as the attack that every boss in this whole series has. Honestly a shocking lack of fanfare for an enemy that has a power-up as integral as the double jump.

31) Parasite Queen

This one's a really good introductory boss fight and a great climax to the first area of the entire series, but sadly, that means it's kind of a nothing fight on replays. She really just doesn't do much, but I guess having to sidestep constantly to aim between her shields at least keeps you on the move and engaged. There's a surprising amount of skill involved in dodging her mouth lasers, but I swear sometimes they just hit you no matter what you do. She gets bonus points for the mechanic where you can scan her to adjust the auto-targeting to do more damage... and then gets those bonus points immediately taken away because she's the only boss fight in the entire series that works like that, so it's kind of a pointless thing to teach the player.

30) Hive Mecha

This is a really good example of how to make a tutorial boss fight that doesn't grate on experienced players! Unfortunately, it's also a really bad example of a tutorial boss fight that actually teaches the player the thing it's trying to teach them. Hive Mecha is a manageable, enjoyable challenge if you figure out how the radar works before or during the fight with it, and a chaotic nightmare mess if you don't. I think the idea is that all of the enemies swarming in a circle on the radar gets the player's attention, and they think "Oh, hey, I can use this to see when the wasps keep still so I can shoot them!". The problem is that they're distracted by, y'know, all of the enemies swarming around them nonstop. Just a single text pop-up telling you to use the radar would help this fight a lot - hell, they could have buried it in the Ram War Wasp scan if they wanted it to not be obvious.

29) (Dark) Alpha Splinter

What a strange creature; it gets weaker when it's possessed by an Ing. Seriously, trading in that insanely well-tracked pounce-and-return for a way more avoidable version makes the second half of this fight bafflingly easier than the first, even with the addition of projectiles. A good first boss fight, but kind of emblematic of how wonky Prime 2's difficulty is at times.

28) Grapple Guardian

This thing is so obtuse and confusing that Metroid Fusion's puzzles give it a nod of respect. Okay, so you have to get it to grapple onto the energy pillars to stun it. Except for the fact that if it's too close, that doesn't work, for literally no reason. Then you have to damage it in the back, but then when its tail falls off, suddenly you can damage it by shooting it in the eye after you've already shot that area enough to stun it and make its invulnerable shield dissipate. You go from shooting it in the eye so you can hit its back to... shooting it in the eye so you can shoot it in the eye some more. The icing on the cake is that you can't damage it at all until you scan it, for no goddamned reason.

It took me half a fucking hour to figure out how I was supposed to just kill this stupid thing. It's not that bad once you DO know all the mistakes to avoid, but that first playthrough and its bugginess with the grapple beam makes me hate it so much it's all the way down here.

27) Caretaker-Class Drone

Frantic is the word to describe this fight. You are constantly on the move, you have barely enough time to register the weak spot and line up a shot, let alone hit it, you always have to jump around like a hyperactive squirrel as the attacks get faster and take up more space... yeah, frantic as all hell. This boss does irritate me because of how unpredictable the direction of your boost-jumps are, though. Sometimes it screws me out of a hit because it randomly decides to not work the same way it has for the last three jumps, or the same kind of random chance throws me right into damage.

26) Dark Samus (Prime 2, Final)

Given she's practically the mascot of the series, it feels weird for Dark Samus's first appearance on this list to be her role as final boss of her debut game... and for it to be so low. Unfortunately, this fight is terrible compared to its contemporaries. It starts off fine, if a little lacking - no cover to duck in and out of, no new tricks from Dark Samus and significantly less agility from her. But that attack where she becomes invulnerable and you have to play phazon tennis with her is... shit. It's just shit. The hit detection on both of her attacks is unreliable as hell - I've had small bullets hit me right in the face while I was charging only to take damage and lose my shot, and the big bullet is just unavoidable whenever it feels like it.

Yes, by the way, I did say both attacks. As in, for the vast majority of her tenure as final boss of Prime 2, Dark Samus uses exactly two different attacks. Given what a highlight her other two fights are in that game, it's just... pathetic. The cherry on top is the fact that you have a time limit hanging over your head for a boss fight where the majority of the time, you cannot damage her with any speed.

25) Rundas

Oh, boy, this one's gonna get me a lot of hate...

Let me preface this by saying: I love Rundas. I love all three of the Prime 3 bounty hunters, to the point that one of my biggest criticisms of the game is that it kills them off rather than keep their potential around for Prime 4. Rundas as a character is great.

Runda as a boss fight is the single most pathetically easy fight in the entire trilogy, behind only the Cloaked Drone when you use the Wavebuster. One single charged beam hypermode shot, he's stunned. Rip his armor off. One single charged beam hypermode shot, he's dead. Rundas is a boss fight that - even on hard difficulty - I routinely kill in less than thirty seconds.

The tragedy of it is, if you don't use hypermode at all? Rundas's boss fight is awesome! He soars all over the arena, hopping from ice platform to ice platform while launching projectiles at you, and gains an entirely new, unique, extremely hard-to-dodge attack when he uses his own hypermode! It's a WAY more fitting send-off for such a capable character, and probably what the developers intended and expected given you only have a measly two or three energy tanks to power your hypermode by the time you fight him. But I can't only acknowledge the fight that I get when I do a self-imposed challenge, especially when I can only reasonably do that on easy difficulty due to how fucked Prime 3's gameplay balance is.

24) Gandrayda

Aaand we immediately go from one extreme to the other. Gandrayda is a fucking nightmare on hard difficulty. Her microscopic hitbox and constant jumping around mean that using hypermode at all is just a waste of valuable health, especially given there are no opportunities to heal for the last 75% or so of this fight. Even seeker missiles are borderline useless unless you time them perfectly so she's not just flipping right around them and making them miss, and at that point you may as well stick to the only tactic I've found that works: spamming the shit out of the basic uncharged plasma beam so hard that I worry my mouse is going to break. This wouldn't be so god-awful if it weren't for how impossibly tanky Gandrayda is, because Prime 3 doesn't know how to balance the health of its enemies.

While the idea of a shapeshifting boss fight constantly swapping between stronger versions of enemies you've fought before could be super interesting, Gandrayda basically stops changing form at all for the last third of the fight, meaning it's just you and an incredibly annoyingly hard to hit target with way too much goddamned health that does way too much goddamned damage. Just like Rundas, I love the character, but fuck this boss fight.

23) Mogenar

This thing is a roadblock on hard difficulty. Even with every energy tank I can possibly acquire before I fight it, I often just barely have enough hypermode usage to scrape through by the skin of my teeth, given that the charged rapid-fire shot is about the only way you can possibly damage it fast enough to make significant progress. If it only had some health pickups, like when it drops rocks from the ceiling or something like that, it'd be a lot less stressful, but as it stands I have very little actual fun fighting this thing.

22) Bomb Guardian

Honestly, this thing's kind of slept on. Trying to jump over it at just the right moment when it charges, so you can get closer to its weak spot and have a clearer shot - that's excellent. I also love its stupid charged up million-bombs attack. It's such a rude wake-up surprise the first time you fail to damage it enough to interrupt it, and so overkill it's downright hilarious.

21) Incinerator Drone

I don't have much to say about this one; it's just an enjoyable, if basic, fight. Circling around and either jumping over or morph balling under the flame streams, which gets trickier the more wasps it wakes up to distract you from shooting the weak spot when it opens - just good stuff.

20) Flaahgra

Ah, the first Real-Ass Boss Fight of Metroid Prime! I love Flaahgra's design and the way it serves as a red herring for a first-time player who really pays attention to the story. There's just one problem: it's piss-easy. Seriously, a few charge shots and it gets completely stunned for about three to five months, during which you have plenty of time to side-jump in circles around it and shoot the mirrors back up. The biggest obstacle it poses is when it makes those impassable barriers, requiring the legendary speedrunning technique known as... going the other way.

19) Amorbis

You know, I could kind of just copy+paste the description of Flaahgra here with some minor edits. First Real-Ass Boss Fight of its game, amazing presentation and spectacle and sheer scale, piss-easy fight. The light beam's charge shot just melts every single phase of this boss, even on hard difficulty. Still, at least you have to do a hell of a lot more than stun Amorbis to fight it (them?).

18) Defense Drone

I kind of struggle to come up with things to say about this one. You'd think the three simultaneous targets on its back would make it the perfect time to use the seeker missile, but you don't have it by the time you fight it, so yet more charged hypermode shots it is. I will say that the hit detection to actually damage it is really annoying - half my shots seem to bounce off even when I'm literally locked on and it's standing relatively still. Also, those chasing exploding poison ball things are annoying as fuck - I never want to waste time shooting them because I want this fight to be over as quick as possible.

17) Korakk Beast

This one's fun - pulling it apart to finally get it vulnerable is like a puzzle in and of itself. Hit its exposed mouth to stun it, get underneath and lay a bunch of bombs, get behind it and yank its tail, then finally unload on its chest - preferably in hypermode. One thing that disappoints me, though, is that the rider isn't particularly difficult to kill, and once he's gone, it neuters a lot of the Korakk's best attacking options. The fight would be better if another rider leapt in to take command of it after each cycle, or something like that.

16) Boost Guardian

Today's word of the day is "overhyped"! Seriously, Boost Guardian is just not as hard as everyone says it is. Apparently it was much harder in the original release of Prime 2, but not that much according to the wiki - apparently it did 60 damage instead of 40, which... doesn't strike me as a massive, earth-shattering change. How does anyone have difficulty avoiding its boost attack? You literally just... jump. You have the double jump by the time you fight it, so you have pretty good hang time. Yeah, the lack of safe zones is tricky, but honestly, safe zones in other boss fights turn them into a joke, so part of me is glad that at least a few don't have any. And even if health runs low... Inglets die in a single uncharged light beam shot.

And just to put the final nail in that particular coffin: Mike Wikan said he was completely exaggerating when he said he couldn't beat Boost Guardian without debug mood. So, I don't get it. Boost Guardian is only a little harder than you would expect given its placement in the game.

15) Ghor

One of the only examples of Prime 3's difficulty feeling slightly balanced leads to this being one of my favorite Prime 3 boss fights. Ghor is a target that takes a ton of punishment, with multiple phases and several layers of defense making him immune until you destroy them by using the environment and the morph ball to your advantage. Even then, he throws out so many wide-ranged attacks nonstop that it can feel like you're two entire armies condensed into one person, throwing out as much damage as possible until one of you buckles.

14) Omega Ridley

Gahhh. I'm so torn on this one. I think the easiest way to sum it up is: I love this boss fight just as much as I hate it. I love how Ridley's new powers from massive corruption mirror Samus's new abilities from her PED, keeping them roughly even just like all their other fights. I love how his only sometimes-there weak spot in his open mouth means that charged hyperbeam shots aren't the ubiquitous solution to everything that they are in nearly every other boss fight. I love how he has "health" that can't be depleted with hypermode, in the form of his phazite armor that you need to destroy with the Nova Beam. But I hate how he wastes my fucking time by flying in and out of the arena dropping unfairly difficult attacks, I hate how there are absolutely no opportunities to heal, I hate how there's no good way to run away and damage him with hypermode when he's on his last legs and his weak spot's finally exposed while he's still attacking- like I said, I love this fight pretty much exactly as much as I hate it.

13) Helios

This thing is honestly just such a cool, creative idea. It's essentially the Scornet Maestro from Pikmin 3, six years before that game came out. It commands swarms of shriekbats into all kinds of bizarre shapes, like an orb that rolls around and crushes you, an array of charging projectiles, a swirling tornado that you have to attack in the morph ball, and even a giant bipedal figure with Helios making up the tiny torso. The problem is the constant onslaught of mook enemies means constant pickups for you, so there's really no reason not to go nuts with hypermode usage and make mincemeat out of this thing before it has much time to shine.

12) Omega Pirate

Bit of a controversial placement, but I just don't especially like the Omega Pirate. Fighting him head-on is a slog - the constant absorption of all my attacks is irritating, the hit detection on his armor plates is extremely buggy, and his thrown explosives just feel completely unavoidable at times. However, using power bombs makes him a joke, especially if you have spring ball or time it so you set one off after he launches you up into the air. They're also the only way to deal with all his summoned beam troopers without going insane, so on Hard difficulty, I honestly find that my attempts at this boss fight live or die based entirely on whether his minions drop enough power bombs. Still a fun fight, but kind of a luck-based pushover once you know the tricks.

11) Thardus

You fight Thardus about halfway through the first game, which is the perfect spot for a real die-or-fly test to make sure the player is either well prepared and learning, or hitting an impassable wall until they are. To that end, just about every single ability you've acquired up to this point is integral to fighting Thardus; you need to be good with aiming and timing your shots to hit each exposed weak point, you need the thermal visor to expose them in the first place, you need to be good with the double jump to avoid getting frozen when it shoots those icy streams along the ground, and you need the morph ball and good boost timing with it to avoid its boulder-rolling attack. The way its model literally gets parts of its body deleted as you blow them up until the whole thing collapses into normal rock is just so viscerally satisfying.

Sadly, there are a few annoyances I have with it. Not being able to see anything for most of the second half of the fight is a pretty big one, since the only way to really get around that is getting close, which is a death sentence. I've also never figured out what's even the point of its big lightning-bolt-summoning attack, given it only seems to use it twice and only extremely nearby to itself.

10) Meta Ridley (Prime 3)

This is a fight that rides purely on style points, I will freely admit it- but god DAMN if it doesn't ride pretty high. Samus and Ridley are both actively falling to a gruesome death at the bottom of a power generator shaft. Despite this, they are both far more concerned with murdering each other than they are with saving themselves, as not a single second is wasted wondering how either of them are going to survive this situation after they kill the other.

Despite being an amazing premise, this fight's pretty... simple. Enough to almost get boring, but not quite. All you really to do is aim straight down or straight up and spam uncharged shots, then charge and time your shots well whenever Ridley gets close and grabs you. It's a little short, but it should be - it's a premise that shows off the depths of Samus and Ridley's unbridled hatred for each other, and doesn't overstay its welcome.

9) Spider Guardian

Boy, this one's gonna rustle some jimmies... yeah, I really like the Spider Guardian fight. But unlike the Boost Guardian fight, I can totally see why people don't like it - it's barely a boss fight in the traditional sense, more of just an extended series of puzzles that you can die to. The fact that you fight it entirely in the morph ball in a 2D space gives it a feeling unlike any other boss fight in the Prime series, and I'm kind of a sucker for "small adventure, big impact"-type stuff. Fun fact: when I first fought this thing, my emulator crashed and I had to replay it again. I fought the Spider Guardian twice in a row... without figuring out how to turn on spring ball. And you know what? I still like it. I'm the weirdo on this one, I guess.

8) Quadraxis

Some would call it sacrilege not to put Quadraxis even higher than it is, but hear me out. This is a really excellent fight, one that I look forward to for obvious reasons every time I play Prime 2. It's huge, possibly the biggest enemy you fight in the entire Prime series, and it's such a determined, persistent foe that the lack of safe zones will start to make you sweat even given how many energy tanks you're likely to have by the time you fight it.

But for all of that, Quadraxis just... doesn't do much. It mostly just stands there, circling its legs around to hide the knee joints it still has, firing projectiles that are Samus-sized - which makes them kind of pathetically small compared to the gargantuan robot that's launching them. Sure, it can do that tornado attack that draws you in, and that's a good time to lay a power bomb and destroy all four of its feet at once - but that attack is honestly more annoying than anything, because I've never figured out how to avoid getting sucked in.

The first phase is easily the best, but when it comes down to it, losing its entire body really does weaken Quadraxis just as much as you'd logically expect. It spends most of the second and third phases completely stunned by super missiles, either fired into the body's antenna or just directly into the head, respectively. The Quadraxis boss fight feels less like fighting a sci-fi war machine, and more just like fighting a real-life war machine. It's insanely durable, but also insanely non-agile.

7) Dark Samus (Prime 3)

Dark Samus's final tenure as boss fight is a pretty damned memorable one. I love how the attacks she uses mirrors those of the three bounty hunters she corrupted and killed over the course of the game - she summons giant destructible pillars like Rundas, fires huge sweeping lasers like Ghor, and splits into multiple entities like Gandrayda. This is by far the best boss fight in Prime 3, and it's absolutely because it's actually balanced for hypermode - after all, you'll be using it nonstop throughout the entire fight. Mix that with the fantastic mirror-boss feel of the first two Dark Samus fights in Prime 2, and you have something truly special.

There's an interesting element of choice whenever she uses her echoes, and then starts healing - the obvious pick is to use the x-ray visor to spot the real one, and cut her healing short as fast as possible. But on the other hand, those annoying duplicates that she loves to fuse with and become invincible are sitting ducks, and destroying them doesn't take that much time. You might find that it's better to let her heal a little if it means getting rid of her echoes and getting some precious anti-phazon in the process.

Sadly, this isn't made to last. Yeah, yeah, we all know where this is going - like I said, all phases of a boss fight are counted together, no matter how drastically different they are. And AU 313... just isn't that fun. For starters, any time it's actually attacking you rather than just sitting there using its most basic moves, you can't do anything to damage it, which is annoying at best and infuriating at worst, given that - just like the last fight with her in Prime 2 - you're on the clock to kill her before you get an instant game over from terminal corruption.

But on top of how annoying the second phase is, the third phase is just... boring. All I ever seem to do is stay right underneath it as best I can, shooting up into its weak spot or that one charged attack that sticks out from the bottom and can stun it if overloaded. Overall, it's just disappointing that the final boss of the entire trilogy starts so strong, only to go out not with a bang, but a whimper.

6) Dark Samus (Prime 2, Second)

Okay, now we're getting to the ones where I struggle to come up with negative things to say. The second Dark Samus fight is fantastic. The way it begins as a steel cage match on the ascending elevator, then she unveils new tricks when you reach the Aerie, including more moves stolen from Samus like the boost ball and fucking shinespark - an attack Samus doesn't even GET in the Prime series - is just incredible. I do find that this fight lacks a bit of the punchiness of the very first one, though - nailing that final shot to end it can take a long time, especially with Dark Samus abusing that aforementioned boost ball. Unlike the Boos Guardian, you can't even bomb her while she's zooming around to get her out of it early (or at least, I've never been able to).

5) Chykka

God, what a good boss fight. The first phase is a little slow paced and annoying, but the second phase is fantastic. Chykka's full-grown design is gorgeous, and its fight is a frantic affair where you're swinging all over the place with the grapple beam, trying to find the best ways to land hits on that twiggy body and then get behind it ASAP once it's stunned. Damaging all four wings at once is also one of the best times to use the severely under-utilized seeker missile. Honestly, Chykka feels really slept on in terms of what an excellent boss it is.

4) Metroid Prime

When I first heard there were people who didn't love Metroid Prime as a final boss, I was honestly baffled. That's how much I fucking love this thing. Its absolutely freakish design, the way you have to switch beam weapons more and more frantically as you fight it deeper and deeper into the Impact Crater, and then you have to pace your missile consumption and decide when is best to use your beam combos - I love it. I love it I love it I love it I love it. It's such a good final exam boss; if it only required bombs or power bombs at any point, it'd be perfect.

Perfect if not for the second phase, anyway. Yeah, I don't need to go into too much detail, because there's nothing new to say. It's the most boring part of the first Prime game, and it's literally the last part of the first Prime game. Nuclear jump rope over and over until it shits out a pool of phazon for you to use, and even then, the overwhelming power of the Phazon Beam as the game's final weapon is undercut by how STUPIDLY tanky this thing is on anything short of easy difficulty. The difference between the two halves of this boss fight are like night and day. If I could only count them separately, the first half would not only stand head-and-shoulders as the best boss in the first game, it would be way higher on the list.

3) Meta Ridley (Prime 1)

Okay, full disclosure, this is a very begrudging placement. The me of a couple playthroughs ago would put Meta Ridley near the beginning of this list out of spite. See, I've only ever played the Trilogy/re-release version of Prime 1, and that version of this boss fight added a new attack where he jumps in the air and then stomps, making a big flaming shockwave. He then does this literally about four or five times in a row, every single time he uses the fucking attack. It was grating, it took forever, it practically guaranteed I'd eventually take serious damage - it single-handedly made me hate this boss fight SO much.

So what happened? Well, I still have only played the Trilogy version - but I figured out that you can just about shoot him in the mouth with a charged plasma beam shot every time he jumps up. I thought this was impossible for the longest time, and so every time he used the stomp attack, I just resigned myself to making absolutely no progress for about thirty solid seconds. Now that I do know this, I've figured out that that's actually the part of the fight where you can do damage to him the fastest - and at the least risk to yourself, unlike his charging-forward attack that will turn you into mincemeat if you don't interrupt it.

So, I owe you an apology, Meta Ridley. Now that I know all the ins-and-outs of your fight, you are the best boss fight in the first game. I understand the hype now, and it's deserved.

2) Emperor Ing

I don't think I've ever understood those people that are really, really into Dark Souls as much as I do while fighting Emperor Ing. The REAL final boss of Prime 2 (no, that last Dark Samus fight does not count) is an absolutely brutally difficult battle on hard difficulty, even if you've gotten 100% item collection before you face him. And... that's kind of what I love about it.

This is a foe that is UTTERLY uncompromising. Either you dominate and destroy it, or you're dead. No in-between. Maybe not in the first phase (if you're like me and just wait until he does that swing-the-tentacles-around-on-the-floor attack and then drop a power bomb), and the second phase is more just for you to recover back to top form than anything else, but the third and final phase? My god. This is the kind of fight I wanted from Quadraxis. I wanted an enemy as brutally lightning-fast and overwhelmingly dangerous as Emperor Ing. Despite his massive size, he's just as, if not MORE agile than the Hunter Ing he resembles. With attacks that change depending on what he's vulnerable to, forcing you to either use the less effective light or dark beam despite the difficulty or unleash the annihilator beam at the risk of running out of ammo, Emperor Ing demands nothing less than mastery - as any ruler should, when you waltz up to take their throne.

1) Dark Samus (Prime 2 First)

God, this fight kicks so much ass. There's no other way to describe the first Dark Samus fight than a knock-down drag-out. She doesn't have that much health, which is reasonable given how early in the game you fight her, but she does FAR more damage than anything else you've faced before her. That combination turns this into a fight that will be over fast no matter how it goes - the only deciding factor is whether you kill her quicker than she kills you.

I think when it comes down to it, this is my favorite Dark Samus fight because it's the one that most perfectly feels like fighting another Samus. The way she leaps around, ducking in and out of cover until that becomes irrelevant as more and more of it gets destroyed, firing shots whenever she sees an opportunity and only being vulnerable as long as she deigns to stay still - that's you. That's how you play Metroid Prime. And you will never realize just how powerful this series makes you until it forces you to fight someone who knows all of the same tricks.

#Metroid Prime #Samus Aran #Metroid Prime 2 #Metroid Prime 3 #Metroid Prime Corruption #Dark Samus #Ridley #Retro Studios

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

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How about a future! tord/ red leader x reader where the reader is basically the motherfucking doom slayer/ doomguy and heads out to the red army base with nothing but their own fists and some shotgun bullets and ends up almost killing most of the red army soldiers and when they finally come across tord/ red leader he's honestly surprised that reader was in his base and single handedly demolished his army and tord being tord thinking he can take them down all by himself goes for it however reader basically the doom slayer aka their unstoppable and bodies him and tears tords robot arm in the process and when reader is done beating his ask up they ask him this...

"Why did you betray my friends?"

"Why did you betray me?"

And tord gives them the answer but it's also a pathetic ass one because he honestly didn't know what to say. And reader just leaves with the final line being "I can't believe i used to be in love with you" and tords be cryin because that realization crushed him.

I've never seen any Doomslayer gameplay so sry if I get anything wrong gjshgs

.............

As a massacre ensued outside of his chambers, Tord sighed in annoyance. He wasn't scared. Only annoyed.

"Those guys had one job: protect Red Leader at all costs. And they go and screw it up..just great." He sneered to himself, while Paul and Patryck stood by the entrance with their weapons ready.

Neither of them wanted to risk their lives, knowing the intruder was probably going to take theirs in a heartbeat. But what choice did they have?

Every day their life was on the line. They were used to that feeling.

Yet not knowing what kind of enemy was making their fellow soldiers scream bloody murder made them..a bit uneasy. Not to mention this person reportedly destroyed all of the base's tanks with a single punch.

How could they defend themselves with this knowledge?

What would happen if they failed?

"If..a-anything should happen," Paul began as he glanced back at his leader. "It's been an honor serving you, Tor-"

"Until you take your last breath, you will address me as Red Leader only. Got it?"

The Dutch man froze in terror, though Patryk answered in his steed with a simple "yes, Red Leader". But before he could turn to chastise his comrade, something slammed against the door, leaving a massive dent.

They both stiffened and aimed their weapons, while Tord watched from his desk warily.

'Who could it be?' He pondered, trying to narrow down the list of possible intruders. 'Not Edd..he's too obsessed with that worthless cola crap. Not Tom..he's stupid, but not that stupid to attack my base all alone. And certainly not Matt..he can't even handle a little blood on his coat.'

The door was being attacked more forcefully, as though the intruder was punching it. And eventually it broke down completely, causing Paul and Patryk to immediately shoot with vicious war cries, not caring who it was.

But suddenly Paul yelled in pain as a bullet struck his shin, sending him collapsing to the ground. "Paul!" Patryk rushed to his side, helping him up.

"Jeez..Tord still kept you guys around, huh?"

When the dust cleared, the Red Leader finally recognized that voice and face:

It was you, clad in an armored suit.

"[Y/n]? Ahaha...long time no see!" He laughed, opening his arms up as you stepped fully into the room. "My, that's quite a suit you have there. Where'd you find something like that?"

"Up your ass." You sneered, before glancing at his two bodyguards. "Out. Now." Aiming your shotgun as a warning seemed highly effective, as the pair scrambled to their feet and left you and Tord alone.

"Whatever, they were both cowards anyways." He scoffed.

"Cowards who were smart enough to leave. Now.." You turned back to him. "We have some things to talk about."

"Oh? Is that why you killed my men and smashed my tanks? Those were expensive, you know.."

"Well they wouldn't let me just walk in-"

All of the sudden, Tord's robot arm shot out a laser beam from the palm, which you dodged as it struck the nearby wall. You scowled at him. "Tord, stop it. I'm not here to kill you."

"You're no fun, [y/n]. I wanna see what you got!" He grinned wickedly. "Besides, if all you wanted was talk..then you should've asked me out on a date instead!"

Something about his last statement made your heart ache inside, but that only fueled your rage as you lunged at him. He was foolish enough to think he could beat you on his own, becoming swiftly outmatched in a matter of seconds.

You rammed him into the wall with your full body. In retaliation he tried shooting another laser at you, only for you to grab his robot arm and manifest a bladed weapon, slashing it clean off like an amputation.

He yelled in pain and shock, falling to his knees the moment you backed off. Sparks and wires trickled from the shoulder joint as he gripped it, gritting his teeth.

"Now do you wanna talk?" You coldly asked, still holding the arm. Deep down, it hurt you to do this to someone you once befriended, someone you once....cared deeply for.

But his own damn pride had to get in the way.

How many times has that gotten him hurt?

"I-I'd rather...." He then hesitated, seeing the slightly disappointed look in your eyes, before he finally gave in. "Ugh, fine. We'll talk."

"After all these years, I never got to ask you..." You knelt down to get closer to him. "Why did you betray our friends? Why did you betray me?"

".....pfft..is that what this is all about? What I did to your little neighborhood oh so long ago?" Tord shook his head. "You know, the whole "world domination" shtick was only a stupid thing I made up on the spot. I honestly just wanted my robot back."

"So..that's all that mattered to you, huh? Just a robot? You didn't even care about the fact you destroyed Edd's home. It was all just storage space for your stupid tech, wasn't it?"

"Oh I..." Now you were backing him into a corner, forcing him to confront his own feelings about how he truly felt that day.

"We used to look for treasure, fight zombies, hang out at the arcade..what ever happened to that? What ever happened to...us, Tord?" The more you spoke, the more hopeless you sounded as Tord only stared back at you blankly.

"..you all forgot about me. That's what happened."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, that's..what it is." He clenched his remaining fist. "When I left, none of you bothered to check on me. A simple "hey Tord, old pal, how's the Red Army going for you?" would've been fine. You could've called, texted...hell even sent a pigeon my way! But no. All I got was silence, as if I was never there."

Then he glanced up at you with a malicious grin. "So I wanted to make sure none of you forgot about me...even if you hated me after the fact. And I see that's worked quite well."

"....bullshit."

"Eh?" He raised an eyebrow, perplexed.

"Maybe the others haven't tried, but I did. I tried my best to contact you..but you never responded. So I find that pathetic excuse hard to believe."

He felt his heart sink into his stomach. But in all honesty..he just didn't know what to say to you. He couldn't come up with any other reason for his actions.

You sighed, seeing that you've officially stunned him into silence. Even though you weren't satisfied with his answer, you could tell his expression held deep regret and...even sadness as he realized you never did betray him.

And there was only one reason why you bothered to reach out to him at all.

"Seems like..we're done here. I don't wanna kill you, but I don't want you talking to me until you grow up and throw aside your goddamn ego."

"[Y/n], I..I just-" Tord flinched as you tossed the robot arm near him, though he made no move to pick it up, only staring at you in shock.

You just picked up your shotgun, looking down at him with a slight frown. "I can't believe I used to be in love with you."

With that, you swiftly turned around, not wanting to see his expression as you left the room. You knew that he needed time to think things through.

Only when you were gone did the crushing realization finally hit Tord. Those words you spoke were true, and drove a knife deep into his heart, twisting its very core.

He could feel his throat tighten as hot tears welled up in his eyes. Not just from the pain of losing his arm, but from a far worse kind of pain.

The pain of knowing that he truly did love you..only to betray you in the end.

Curling up against the wall, tears streamed down his cheeks as quiet sobs echoed through the empty, battle-torn room.

There was no one else to blame but himself for this.

#clanask #anonymous #eddsworld x reader #ew tord x reader #tord x reader #future tord x reader #red leader x reader #angst #thank you for this prompt nony #it's *chef's kiss* a n g s t y

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heliads · 3 years

Text

Breaking Promises

When Julie has to suddenly drop out of a Julie and the Phantoms performance, the role of lead singer falls to her best friend Y/N, as she’s the only other person who can make the boys visible to the world. When Y/N seems betrayed by this, it falls to Luke to figure out why the girl he’s been crushing on seems so hurt.

masterlist

Luke is bent over his guitar, fingers mindlessly strumming the strings. He’s supposed to be tuning the instrument, he knows that, but every time he tries to set himself up for some small task he can’t help but start trying to figure out another song. It’s like he can find music in everything, and sometimes, the call to come up with another few chord variations is too hard to ignore. Especially now, when he should have finished tuning his guitar ten minutes ago.

Well, it’s not like he has a whole lot to do anyway. The different members of Julie and the Phantoms (minus Julie herself) are strewn about the studio. Reggie is lying on a couch, staring up at the ceiling. Alex, for some reason, is trying to figure out if he can walk all the way around the room without his feet touching the floor once. His gaze is laser-sharp as he focuses, arms held out for balance as he carefully steps from ottoman to couch cushion.

Luke frowns over at him, attention finally broken from the guitar. “You know, walking on the rug does still count as having your feet touch the ground.” Alex holds up a warning finger. “Actually, the rules are that you can’t touch the floor itself. The rug is not the ground, so I’m fine.” Another voice rings out from across the room. “That’s a lie and you know it. Rugs have never been safe.” Alex folds his arms over his chest. “I’ve been playing The Floor is Lava for decades longer than you, Y/N, so I think I’d know.”

Y/N, however, is undaunted by this. “You can’t pull the age thing on me if you’re wrong. The lava would soak through any rug. It’s an obvious fact.” Alex makes a face at her. “I’m still right about this. Luke, back me up.” Luke shakes his head, unable to hide a grin. “Sorry, Alex. Y/N’s right. Rugs are totally out of bounds.” Alex shoots him a sour look. “Somehow I’m not surprised that you’d pick her side.” Luke’s mouth falls open as Reggie bursts out in laughter. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Y/N’s smiling now as well. “It means that he’s still jealous that we’re right. Pay it no attention.” She turns back towards the notebook in her hands, leaving Alex with the opportunity to look meaningfully between her and Luke. Luke shoots him a glare, which just makes Alex’s grin even broader. Sometimes, Luke wishes he wasn’t in a band with such idiots.

Luke’s irritation begins to fade away when he looks back at Y/N. Her hand is strewn across her lap as she studies her scrawled chemistry notes, fingers tapping out a rhythm on the go. It’s strange- Y/N seems like the perfect person for music. She always knows the beat to a song, and she seems to walk, talk, and breathe melodies just like Luke. Even now, when she’s focusing on her homework, she’s still coming up with drum beats on the fly. It’s astonishing.

Yet every time Luke asks Y/N about music, she always changes the subject. It’s never interested her, she claims, or she has always left that to Julie and Flynn, her two best friends. Those excuses don’t make sense, though- Luke’s been to Y/N’s house before and she’s got piles of sheet music stacked up in the corners, and dusty instrument cases hidden in the attic. Y/N has definitely had a history in music, Luke just can’t figure out why she’s hiding it.

Music isn’t the only mystery lingering around Y/N L/N. She isn’t a ghost, yet she can still see Luke, Alex, and Reggie as if they were all lifers. Luke remembers when they first met- Y/N had been Julie’s best friend, and so she had been inevitably dragged over to the studio to hear the boys perform and prove that Julie wasn’t crazy, just like what happened to Flynn. Unlike Flynn, however, Y/N’s eyes had caught on the boys from the second she walked through the door, even before they had started playing music.

She had greeted them with no problem, and then her easygoing smile had started to fade when she saw the looks of utter confusion on Luke and his friends. A wave of troubled realization crested over her eyes when Julie explained that they were ghosts, as if she knew exactly why she could suddenly see them. Julie had been confused as well, and then she had turned to Y/N with a look of thunderstruck understanding.

“You can see them because of-” Her voice had cut off and Y/N had nodded quietly. “Yes.” The girls hadn’t said anything more, but Luke can still see the silent sadness that wrapped around both Y/N and Julie before they hurriedly changed conversations. They were clearly hiding something, but Luke doesn’t know what it could possibly be. They haven’t brought it up again, and they seem keen on hiding any possible reasons as to why Y/N has no problems seeing ghosts.

After a couple of minutes, Julie bursts through the door of the studio, out of breath from running to them. She stands in the doorway for a second, looking distinctly panicked. “You guys remember the gig we have planned in a couple of days?” Luke nods, along with the rest of his band. How could he not? It’s a fairly big show, at a premier jazz club. It’s no Orpheum, but it’ll give them some excellent street cred that the band could use to get even bigger.

Julie closes the studio doors behind her, and walks over to the assembled band. “We have a problem.” Y/N’s forehead creases, and she starts to rise out of her chair. “Here, I’ll let you guys talk this over in private.” Yet Julie shakes her head, gesturing for Y/N to sit back down. “Actually, I’m afraid you have to be here for this.” Y/N sits back down, looking troubled. Luke can’t blame her- Julie’s gaze keeps flickering over to her friend with a distinctly guilty expression.

Julie steeples her fingers in front of her. “Something came up with my family and I can’t make it to the show. I know the performance is a big deal, but I can’t miss this thing with my family. The only problem is that the jazz club has a strict policy on band cancellations, and we’ve already missed the window for backing out. We have to perform, but there’s no way I can make it in time.” Luke’s gaze falls. How are they supposed to play if they don’t have Julie? Without her, nobody will be able to see them.

Julie squares her shoulders, as if readying herself for a hardship. “We have to have someone performing with the boys so they can be seen and the club won’t think we’re backing out on them. I’m sorry, Y/N, but it has to be you.” Instantly, Y/N’s gaze drops. “What are you talking about?” Julie holds up her hands as if to defend herself from an attack. “I know how it sounds, but hear me out. You have an incredible voice, and you already know the boys better than anybody else.”

Luke looks over at Y/N, and is surprised to see that she looks distinctly unhappy. Angry, even. Reggie, on the other hand, does not seem to have picked this up. He beams over at her. “Y/N, I didn’t know you could sing! This is going to be so good!” Y/N glares over at Julie. “Judging by the fact that the boys don’t know about this, I’m assuming that this was all your idea. You want me to sing in a band in front of a large audience? Why not ask Flynn, or even Carrie? She would be better for this.”

Julie winces. “I know how you feel, but it’s our only option. The boys have to perform with someone who can see them so they can be visible to the audience. It has to be you.” If looks could kill, Julie would be as dead as Luke. Y/N’s voice is slow and cold. “You know what this means to me. You know exactly what this means to me, and you’re still asking me to do this. I can’t believe you.”

Julie starts to speak again, but Y/N holds up a hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll do it. After all, the future of this band is far more important than any of your friends, isn’t it? I know the songs, I’ll be ready. That’s what you really care about.” Y/N stands up, looking down at Julie with an expression of utter loathing. “When you didn’t want to make music because of your mom, I was there. I understood. But the rules only apply to you, don’t they? I will never forgive you for this.” With that, she walks swiftly out of the study, muttering something about needing to be alone.

Luke looks from the slamming door to Julie. “What was that about?” Julie looks sick to her stomach. “I never should have asked her to do this. She’s right, it was a bad idea.” Alex shakes his head, confused. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong with Y/N having to perform?” Julie just sighs. “It’s personal. If she doesn’t tell you, I don’t think I should either. I’ve already upset her too much.”

Luke gets up slowly. “I’m going to go talk to her.” Before Julie can say a word to stop him, Luke is already poofing out of the studio. He can see Y/N’s figure disappearing around one corner, then two. He follows her slowly, and feels a dull surprise creep over him when he realizes that she is heading towards the cemetery. What could possibly be waiting for her there?

Something in the back of Luke’s head is telling him that this is too personal, and he’s about to witness a scene that was not meant for his own eyes to see. Something else tells him that Luke needs to see this to understand Y/N, and to learn how to fix whatever problem has just split her friendship with Julie down the middle. So, Luke continues to shadow Y/N’s footsteps, always just behind a tree or out of sight when she looks back. He has a feeling that if he is sighted or makes a sound, Y/N will back down from whatever she is about to do.

Eventually Y/N stops moving, and kneels beside a gravestone. It seems fairly recent, not chipped away and eroded like the others. Luke peers closer at the stone and realizes that it’s inscribed with a girl’s name, and the last name is L/N. Also, the death date occurred about a year ago. All of a sudden, Luke realizes who Y/N is visiting. Could this be her sister, a sister that died? Is that why she’s so upset?

Luke’s thoughts stop churning for a second when he realizes that Y/N is speaking quietly to the stone. “Hi. It’s me again. I just had to come here because-” Her voice drops off and she takes a second to collect herself before she begins speaking once more. “I need to apologize. You know that band I’ve talked about before? The one that’s made up of my friends? Well, they have this performance coming up in a few days, and they need me to sing with them because they’re ghosts and I’m one of the only people who can see them. I know how it sounds and everything, but I have no choice-”

Y/N’s eyes widen and she stops speaking. There, standing a few inches in front of her, is a girl. She looks only a couple of years older than Y/N, and even without the inscription on the headstone Luke can tell that this is Y/N’s sister. He can see it in her eyes, the shape of her face. However, unlike Y/N, this girl has a distinctive scowl that never seems to leave her expression, not even for a second. Y/N seems startled at the sight of her sister. “You’re here? I thought-”

Y/N’s sister cuts her off. “What, you thought I wouldn’t be here and so you’d feel okay with pretending everything is fine? We had a promise, don’t you remember? If I have to die and never play music again, you have to uphold the bargain. That’s how it works.” The girl starts walking forward, and Y/N scrambles backwards out of her way. “It wasn’t my choice- I didn’t want to- I have to be there! I tried to argue but there’s no way out of it.” The girl clicks her tongue in disappointment. “I hoped that you would try a little harder. Aren’t you supposed to be keeping my memory? Well, I can think of another way to keep the promise.”

Luke’s head snaps up as he realizes what the girl is about to do. Just before the sister’s arm reaches Y/N, he has poofed into existence in between them, stopping the blow just before it lands. Y/N stares at him. “Luke? Where did you come from?” Luke flashes her an apologetic smile. “I was trying to find you so I could figure out why you were so upset. I think I get it now, though.” Y/N’s sister huffs an irritated sigh. “Look at you, a friend to the rescue. This doesn’t concern you. The promise is between us.”

Luke shakes his head. “You don’t get to hurt her. Not like this, not in the promise. I want you to leave her alone. Only come back when you’re ready to apologize or treat her better.” Y/N’s sister scoffs. “And why would I do that?” Luke’s gaze grows steely. “Because I have friends who can make you. Have you ever heard of Caleb Covington? He knows me, and if I needed something I know he’d show up.” Y/N’s sister’s gaze falters. “You’re in touch with Caleb?” Luke nods. “I take it you know him?”

The girl looks terrified. “Any ghost who’s anybody knows about Caleb.” Her gaze cuts over to Y/N. “I’ll stop, I swear it. Sing with them. I don’t care. Just don’t set Caleb on my trail.” Luke squares his shoulders. “I won’t unless I have to.” Y/N’s sister fixes him with one last look, then poofs out again, leaving Luke and Y/N alone. Luke offers Y/N a hand, which she takes. She’s shaking slightly, which twists Luke’s heart like a knife. She glances over at him, confused.

“Wait, why did you bring up Caleb? I thought he hated you guys. You talked about him like he was a friend.” Luke spread his hands. “She doesn’t have to know that. I mean, all I really said is that Caleb knows who I am, and he does.” Y/N laughs incredulously. “You were bluffing that whole time? Even I believed you.” The two of them walk out of the cemetery, and only after they’re out on the sunlit sidewalk does Luke finally turn to Y/N once more.

“Was your sister the reason you didn’t want to perform with us at the club?” Y/N sighs. “Yes. We were closer than anything, and we had a little gig going as a joint act. We sang and wrote music together. We had plans of being this great band, and then she died one night in an accident.” Y/N stifles a broken laugh. “When I saw her again, I thought I was hallucinating. Then she broke my window and I realized she was actually there, albeit in ghost form. She made me promise that I would never perform again, because it wouldn’t be fair to her memory. Some part of me knew it wasn’t right, but I was afraid of her, I guess.”

Luke sees the doubt beginning to creep back onto Y/N’s face, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “It wasn’t right at all. That promise wasn’t something she could ask of you. That’s not dedication to music, that’s just her controlling her. A real musician would want you to move on and grow. I mean, we all hate Bobby because he stole our songs, not because he kept performing. I mean, I’m proud of him for doing so well, even though he tried to write us out of history. The issue isn’t with you singing, I promise.”

Y/N looks up at him, and Luke feels lost in her gaze. “Thank you for having my back. I know I shouldn’t have blown up at Julie, but I was so upset that she would make me perform that I guess I just lost it.” Luke frowns. “Julie knew about the promise?” Y/N nods. “I dropped out of music class and she wanted to know why. I told her that my sister had died and she didn’t want me to perform anymore, but not about the ghost stuff. Obviously.” A slight smile begins to creep onto her face. “Honestly, I’m excited about performing. I haven’t sung in front of people in a long time.”

Luke returns her smile. “I’m excited to hear you. To be honest, I’ve been hoping to hear you perform for a while.” Y/N’s brow furrows. “You knew I did music?” Luke shrugs. “I knew music was important to you so I took a guess. I know you’ll be amazing.” Y/N laughs. “How do you know that?” Luke leans down to press a kiss to her cheek. “I just have a feeling.”

#luke patterson #luke patterson imagines #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson oneshot #jatp #jatp imagines #jatp x reader #jatp oneshot #jatp luke #jatp luke imagines #jatp luke x reader #jatp luke oneshot #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms luke #julie and the phantoms imagines #julie and the phantoms oneshot

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just-a-real-human · 4 years

Text

A tale of war.(Humans are space orcs)

SO! i decided to do something different, i won’t be exactly sticking to a single writing style forever, some stories will be Kr’Kn’s lectures(or maybe adventures of his? maybe), others will be more standard stories and yet others, like these, will be large scale battles with dramatic storytelling. ALSO! the comments are fixed now! so i can ACTUALLY get constructive critisism. I found two links for laser sound effect which are used in this story, OR you can imagine them yourself c: (P.S i don’t own any of the sounds)

https://youtu.be/whLbGbpt-E4 for the smaller laser effect. yes. SMALLER

https://youtu.be/o_Lv5GXYYvA for the BIG BOY. You’ll know when to use it. NOW ON WITH THE STORY

The Dr’achs attack on humanity was not exactly unexpected...but it was a surprise they’d do it so soon. They were a warfaring species, a succesfull one at that, taking homes, destroying planets by taking their recources, even bringing many species to extinction...we all assumed this would be the end of humanity, they never did have much military might. Don’t get me wrong!, their military was powerful, but there wasn’t much of it...at least that’s what we thought...oh how wrong we were.

The Dr’achs attack was swift, powerful, unexpected. The human homeworld (Earth or Terra, depends who you ask) Was utterly decimated, many cities fell, including every major capital. They killed every town, city or village they came across. The Dr’achs ordered the surrender of humanity, but their representitive, Grand Admiral Yeshua Ezekiel Alastair replied with but one simple sentence. “Psalm chapter 97″. Nobody knew what it meant, but the Dr’achs soon came to know it’s meaning first hand...

A mere three months after the devestating attack on Earth, a fleet had assembled, one of sizes inconcievable to anyone who saw it...millions, no, BILLIONS of humans had gathered around their pride and joy, their flagship, their capital...i cannot describe it’s power, it’s size...it’s might...

It was so immense we could see it pass our star clearly like an eclipse, blotting out the sun with it’s size and power...I must say, am i happy we did not attack humanity when we thought they were weak.

At the planet, many aliens had joined the fleet, be that to provide geniune support, to sate their curiosity, to record the happenings for the universe to see, or to simply see the might of the Deus ex machina. I don’t blame anyone who did, a small part of me joined the battle for that exact reason, of course i was mostly there to record the happenings, but still...that ship is incomprihensibly big, i could probably destroy a city simply by entering atmosphere above it!

At the home planet of the Dr’achs, Dr’ach’raz, Humanity gave one warning, telling the Dr’achs to surrender, giving them one chance to surrender. They naturally refused, and so, in reaction, Grand Admiral Yeshua simply smiled, saying “May the Lord have mercy on your soul, but i doubt hell will be pleasant.”

Ships flew all across the planet, engulfing it like a dyson sphere does a star, millions of ships flying to every city, village or remote bunker, having no mercy, they spared no man, woman or child. Every ship firing it’s devastating lasers at them, and at their capital, which humanity attacked last, the Dr’achs had put of an admirable defense, their turrets did most of the work, shooting down a ship every now and then, they sent thousands upon thousands in infantry, but the human ships simply fired on them with their heavy laser beams, their booming, horrible sound being a testament to their strength. Those ships tore down evey building they hit, like a hot blade through butter, cutting through ground, battering through bunkers and disintegrating infantry and civilians alike. Military had hidden in bunkers so deep underground even their heavy lasers couldn’t break through, but that was their last mistake...

From within the bunkers, the surviving Dr’achs sat with shaking knees, regretting everything they had ever done, desperately attempting to open communications with humanity. Eventually, Alastair picked up, a thin smile on his face and raised eyebrow. “I had expected you dead, what seems to be the problem?” The Dr’achs looked at him, abject horror on his face. “Human! Turn back your ships at once! we-we surrender!” All Yeshua did...was laugh. He shook his head, still chuckling. “What makes you think we had the intention of accepting surrender? If we wanted your surrender, all we would have done is decloak our capital and show you!” The Dr’achs eyes went wide, his mouth agape as it looked at the screen showing what was happening above ground...

There it was, high above, darkening everything on the planet, was the human flagship, their new capital...The Deus ex machina, The God from the machine.

Above the bunker, the remaining ground troops gasped, looking up at the darkened sky. Many tried to flee, others tried to shoot it, yet others collapsed, fainted or dead from fear. None of it mattered anyways, for the many ships pulled back, returning to their God...and then everything went silent, as if all sound was pulled away, and then There was a horrible sound, Thunder was sounding all around the planet, made by all the disturbance the gravity of this massive ship was making and the dust and debris rubbing together... and suddenly a massive surface the size of a dwarf planet on the God’s belly started glowing a brilliant white-green colour, a horrible, a rising hum sounding all around, deafening all who heard it without protection. Then, the most horrifying thing i have ever observed...the gigantic laser fired, it’s brilliant white blinding me temporarily it cored through the planet like it was nothing, the sound returning in my dreams even to this very day. It blasted through the planet, going deeper and deeper, destroying the bunker like paper...but it did not stop...

It continued, not stopping untill...it hit the core. The planet started to glow from the inside out with the green hue of this massive beam,but this lasted all but a few seconds before it blasted apart. everything on that planet was dead...destintegrated, killed by the shockwave, or maybe, JUST maybe, some poor alien on the other side of the planet was alive long enough to see it’s home split...or maybe it was removed by the laser coming out the other side...

Humans were victorious, and every creature in the galaxy knew that humans were amazing at hiding their might...but not afraid to show it.

Human death count was maybe 5000, their victory was absolute, they remain a powerful force, and even a dozen of their heavy cruisers could have been sent to deal with this...but no, they wanted revenge...they NEEDED revenge, they needed to honour the dead by wiping those disgusting creatures away from the universe...and so they did, and the only ones remaining are on planets far away, praying everyday a human doesn’t come and end their existence...

Dr Kr’Kn on the destruction of Dr’ach’raz.

SO! that was a story displaying the fact that humans are not to be fucked with! i really hope you enjoyed and don’t be shy to post constructive critisism c:

Do keep in mind CONSTRUCTIVE, i want to improve, so please also tell me how to write better. Have a VERY nice day, and untill next time!

#humans are terrifying #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #humans are space fae

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holykillercake · 4 years

Text

Piña Coladas

pairing: Marco x Reader

word count: 2k

summary: You are loyal to your captain and your team, so you would do everything to win. Even shoot your boyfriend.

highlight: ¨I don´t like when your tattoo is covered.¨

warning: implied smut

notes: Guys, I really want to thank each and every one of you for the love and support <3 Also, picture this as a crossover between laser tag and paintball!

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘, 𝖗𝖊𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊!

¨Ok, assholes, listen up!¨ your freckled captain uttered loudly due to the music blasting outside of your headquarter. ¨They have Haruta and Speed Jiru, those sneaky bastards, so we´re gonna have to be careful here, ok? They also have an extra person compared to us! So focus the fuck up!¨

The Whitebeard Pirates made a strategic stop at the Sabaody Archipelago for provisions, which meant that it was time for the Division Commanders and Whitebeard´s left-hand and only daughter, you, to engage in your periodic Bubble Laser Tag battle.

The teams were sorted out, and one would always have an extra member. The team captains were for the first time, Ace and Marco. And despite loving the First Division Commander, you were obliged to take a vow to serve and honor your team and your captain as long as the game ran.

¨Y/N you´re the faster one here and the smallest, so I´m counting on you.¨ you saluted him ¨Izo, you´re the best sniper we have, so place your freckled butt in a strategic place and shoot the fuck out of those motherf-¨

¨OI, OI, OI, OI!¨ all of you shouted at Ace.

¨Calm down, cowboy! Don´t you think you´re taking this far too seriously?¨

¨No! Do you know when was the last time I was captain?! And do you know how many losses in a row I have?! This is my pride, Y/N! You´re with me or against me?!¨

You couldn´t face him without laughing, he was just so stupid sometimes. But you made sure to let him know that you were on his side - not that you had a choice, though.

The teams were called The Bird Brains and The Freckled Butts. Yes, the captains chose each other´s team's name, and naturally, nothing good could come out of it. The worst part was having to run around with a tag that said ¨Freckled Butt¨ on your gear.

In Ace´s team, you had, well, you, Thatch, Izo, Fossa, Namur, Blamenco, and Kingdew, and in Marco´s team were Vista, Haruta, Speed Jiru, Atmos, Curiel, Jozu, Blenheim, and Rakuyo.

¨They will definitely use Jozu and Atmos as sacrificial lambs to get to us.¨ Thatch pointed out.

¨Ok, so we´re leaving them to you, Izo.¨ Ace spoke.

¨I´m guessing Haruta and Jiru will be doing the same as Izo, hiding somewhere and making surprise attacks.¨

The rules were pretty simple:

1) No Devil Fruit ability could be used. Not after Ace almost burned the entire place to the ground once.

2) You didn´t have to stay on the ground. You could use whatever you had at your disposal to climb the walls or even the ceiling.

3) If the captain is out, the team is out.

¨Ok. So, Thatch, you´ll cover for me; Namur will cover for Blamenco, and Kingdew will cover for Fossa. Izo and Y/N will go solo.¨ you furrowed your eyebrows.

¨Wait, I´m not covering Izo?¨

¨No, Y/N. You are our special pawn.¨ he said in a devilish and malicious tone. ¨I said I want a glorious victory this time. Your job will be to end this game as soon as possible.¨

¨Still not following, Fire-Fist.¨

¨We´ll make sure no one gets to you while you go find your birdie and end him!¨ he burst in a maniac laugh.

¨You really think Marco is that stupid?!¨

¨No, but he´s a man, Y/N.¨ you gasped, outraged.

You faced your crewmates, all of them smirking at you.

¨What are you now, a pimp?! Izo, say something, defend my honor!¨

¨I would Y/N, but not only he´s my captain today... he´s kinda right.¨

¨Besides, we´re all very familiar with you guys getting business done.¨ Thatch rested his arm on your shoulders. At this point, internal bleeding caused by severe embarrassment was killing you not so softly.

¨You know what? I think I´ll kill you all first!¨ you threatened the commanders.

The entire arena turned red, and a loud 10 seconds countdown began. You put your goggles down and tightened your grip on the gun, comrades doing the same.

¨We´re counting on you, Y/N. Put your freckled butt to work!¨ Ace said and stormed out before you could beat him.

Still analyzing his request and your options available, you decided to stay hidden in the shadows. Head down, and powder dry - or paint wet.

The music was so intense you could feel your lungs vibrating with every beat, sometimes knocking the oxygen out. The whole place was dark with colorful light beams flashing in every direction.

After 5 minutes of resting in the shadows, you opted for what you thought would be the best thing to do, plus you had the benefit of being smaller than those brutes, so you fit in places they didn´t.

And you just had found yourself the perfect spot right behind the stage lights at the top of the arena. Getting up there was a little tricky, the light rays almost blinded you - plus the risk of you being caught - and you were not sure you could hide there. Technically it was not against the rules.

¨If I were a hot birdie piña colada, where would I be?¨ you tried to channel into your lover´s brain.

That was actually a good hideout, you spot many of the commanders running around the field. You loved how they took it seriously as if their lives depended on it.

A loud buzz played every time someone was eliminated, although they didn´t say from which team unless it was the captain. You´ve heard zero buzzes so far, showing how inspired and determined they were.

You finally decided to follow your captain´s order when 10 minutes passed, and no one had gotten eliminated. Your stomach craved for food and you were really bored.

You´d always choose the biggest arena since guys like Kingdew and Jozu wouldn´t fit in the normal one. So this one was larger, taller, and had more obstacles. Bubbles in all shapes and sizes, picturesque barricades, and tricky mirrors. Finding Marco was going to be tough... if you didn´t have a card in your sleeve.

Again, it was not against the rules, and you wanted to eat something. Besides, this victory was more meaningful to Ace than to Marco. So you took your lover´s vivre card from your pocket and placed it on your palm, waiting for it to guide you.

¨Bingo!¨ you spot a fluffy pineapple crown not so far from you. The problem was to reach him before he moved again.

Your plan was not to shoot him from the distance, you knew better than that. You were going to approach, engage naturally and eliminate the target. Based on the field, the track he took so far, and his usual train of thought, you had a good guess of what he was planning to do.

The path he was taking led you to believe that he was advancing towards a barricade, a good place to hide, but that would offer him no visibility of his opponents. Was he planning to lay low while the rest of you killed each other? That didn´t sound like him.

The job that had been entrusted to you within the Whitebeard Pirates was to analyze each mission´s goal, come up with several different plans of approach - or attack - and predict the possible failures or setbacks. And you did all of that alongside Whitebeard himself, and all sixteen commanders. So, to guess the strategy Marco was going for would be easier than steal a child's candy.

Well, actually, you were able to guess his final destination, not his strategy.

Without losing any more time, you ran and hid behind the barricade, waiting for your boyfriend to arrive.

¨Whatever.¨ you thought.

¨Don´t shoot!¨ you squealed and threw both hands in the air.

¨Really, Y/N? This is how you play?¨ Marco asked, putting his gun down.

¨When I am hungry, yes!¨ you bent slightly, faking an exhausted state.

¨What are you doing here, yoi?¨

¨Looking for Izo, I was supposed to cover for him.¨ you struggled with the weird sensation of lying to Marco.

He hummed and leaned against the wall, wiping a bit of sweat off his forehead. The lightning was awful, but it was enough for you to see his messy hair and those lazy eyes that made you almost forget the mission.

¨Why are you staring, yoi?¨ he gave you a smirk and a quick nod.

¨Nothing. Uhm...¨ you bit your lip as the butterflies started to go insane inside of you ¨...it´s so rare to see you carrying a gun...¨

The first commander watched you with a raised eyebrow and a playful grin ¨Yeah, so?¨

The two of you entered a parallel universe, the lights changed according to the muffled beat of the music. And it was hot. Flaming hot, burning hot.

Your breath was slow but heavy, and your mouth ran dry with adrenaline on your veins. Not because of a stupid plan or stupid game but because he made you lose whatever control you had over your body and mind.

You let go of the gun and raised your hand until your fingers touched the skin of his face, tracing a slow path to his parted lips. He watched you like you were a rare creature, an angel forgiving his sins or a siren taking his life. His large hand held yours, and he placed kisses on your fingers, the same fingers that would pull the trigger by the end of this. You wondered if he already knew.

Marco hooked his finger on the belt holders of your jeans and turned you, making you hit the wall, and oxygen left your lungs in a puff. Didn´t take long until he attacked your neck, tasting your salty skin. Your fingers pulled his hair as your body arched involuntarily, cold shivers reaching every part of you.

His eyes were soaked in lust when he stopped marking your neck and stared at you like a hungry predator. Your teary eyes traveled to his chest looking for his tattoo, but it was covered by the stupid gear.

¨I don´t like when your tattoo is covered.¨ you spoke.

He leaned to your ears and said in a whisper ¨Then uncover it.¨

He was teasing you, he knew what you were supposed to do and was torturing you.

¨I-I can´t...¨ your voice came out weak ¨I... I have to-¨

¨What, yoi?¨ his grin was malicious.

¨I have to shoot you.¨

Marco leaned again, getting really close to your lips but never touching them. Instead, he took your paint gun and put it in your hand. You laughed, asking yourself if you truly believed you would be able to fool him. He gave a quick kiss before stepping back so you could end your mission.

¨You really don´t mind letting Ace win?¨

¨Ace can have the victory.¨ he shrugged ¨I have something better, yoi¨

You blushed with his comment, and fireworks exploded in your chest.

¨I love you, bird brain.¨

¨I love you... freckled butt.¨ he laughed, probably embarrassed for the name he chose.

¨This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.¨ you raised the gun to his gear.

¨I hope so, yoi.¨

¨Ready?¨

¨You know I´ll make you pay for this later, right, yoi?¨

¨I´d be disappointed if you weren´t planning to.¨

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alittlesliceofcucumber · 4 years

Note

We would Like Spookylads headcanons!

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

(based off this post!)

Seán:

He gets excited very easily

Also distracted very easily

Never seems to run out of energy

(The seemingly endless amounts of coffee he drinks may or may not have something to do with that)

He can transform whenever he wants but is forced to on a full moon

He just runs around in the woods chasing squirrels and the like

Also wolf parkour

Likes to try and intimidate people with his teeth

Has a cabin in the woods

Literally just jokes around all the time

He’s probably the one who comes up with pranks and ideas for the lads to pull off

Has 0 impulse control

According to Daniel, should be kept on a leash

Has the most Irish howl a howl can possibly be

Daniel:

How. Is this man. Surviving.

He basically babysits all of the others

They tend to hang out at his mansion whenever they want a night in

He doesn’t like to fly too often and only really turns into a bat to escape an awkward situation or to quickly stop any of the others from doing something stupid.

He cleans his mansion constantly

If even a hint of a cobweb shows up he gets Brian to blast it to smithereens

Is desperately needing sleep

He tries to sleep in the day but the other Lads end up keeping him awake

(Because they must be supervised at all times)

Tries his best to control the others but more often than not gets dragged into their shenanigans

Seán: feck

Dan, materialising out of nowhere: :O WHAT ARE YOU?! >:0

Seán, sighing: werewolf not swearwolf

Dan: Good. >:(

Daithi:

Mostly just spends his time haunting random people and seeing if they notice

He can go completely invisible if he wants to but the other Lads can sort of sense where he is

All apart from Brian (cyborg reasons)

And he 100% uses this to his advantage to scare him

He’s pretty chill most of the time and just goes along with stuff

But boy can he hold a grudge

He hates being scared himself

So if someone insults and/or scares him he’ll pull out all stops to frighten them as badly as he can

He often takes charge whenever the Lads are pulling off a particularly complex plan and proceeds to have a mental breakdown

Daithi, hovering over a tree: COME ON GUYS JUST CLIMB THE FECKING TREE IT’S NOT THAT HARD YOU’RE KILLING ME UP HERE

Seán: dude you’re already dead

Daithi: DANIEL HOW DO YOU MANAGE THIS

Brian:

The most technically advanced of the group

That’s one of the perks of being a cyborg

He set his ringtone as the Ghostbusters theme just to mess with Daithi

He has a laser-shooting eye which he wholly abuses

He will impulsively blast anything that annoys him so the others do have to be careful when they tease him

And they do tease him

He tries to shoot Daithi all the time and is genuinely really upset that the beam just goes straight through him

Built his own super-robo-skates that he tries to race wolf!Seán with

He won’t rest until he’s the fastest

Those two also have scream-offs

He won’t rest until he’s the loudest

They’re always competing with each other

He’s probably the most approachable of the group just because he doesn’t look as scary

Yes, even more so than Kevin

Kevin:

Kevin is an ordinary human being

But the lads are all collectively terrified of him

Just... that man sets thing on fire out of his own freewill like it’s another Tuesday

Even other normal people can feel an unsettling aura around Kevin

The Lads secretly theorise that Kevin must be special somehow

Maybe he can shapeshift or spontaneously start cults or summon demons or something

But no, Kevin just really likes fire

He has a lighter on his person at all times

He looks very out of place hanging out with a bunch of supernatural entities

He’s more often than not the lookout in all of the Lads’ schemes

But that’s just because they want as much time as possible without the addition of fire

Due to his human status (or just his general personality) he’s the baby of the group

Ok, “baby” is a bad description

More like the annoying toddler that they want to throw off a cliff 90% of the time

But they love having him around and he’s one of them despite his ordinariness

#irish lads #the irish lads #spooky!lads #jacksepticeye #rtgame #rt game #daithi de nogla #the terroriser #the gaming terroriser #call me kevin #callmekevin #headcanons

266 notes · View notes

thesomberfest · 3 years

Text

Star Wars: Timestamps and Thoughts; The Empire Strikes Back

Salutations to all. Welcome back to my blog thing? Anyways today is the one and only The Empire Strikes Back which I think may be the most iconic Star Wars movie. But, don’t quote me on that. I’m only saying that as someone who has heard about Star Wars movies from the outside and honestly out of all the movies The Empire Strikes Back is the one movie I’ve always heard about; name-wise. I don’t think I know any spoilers about this movie, so we’ll see. I’m new to this and I don’t know what I’m doing so please have mercy and help a sister out, thanks. I have some idea based on what the movie is about based on the name but I’ll just take what Disney Plus tells me. I honestly have nothing to say. Should I start writing predictions before writing the timestamps and writing my reaction if I’m right or wrong based on the last movie I watched. Does that make sense? I can’t think of any other way to word it differently but if it makes sense then okay, let’s continue. This isn’t a prediction but um is this the movie where Luke finds about his parentage? Or is it a bit too early? Am I too early? Oh well. While adding timestamps I thought it would be a cool idea to add a “Favorite Scene” section under my “Final Thoughts” sections, I hope y’all like it.

03/9 Edit: Y’all sorry this is late but tomorrow is my birthday and I decided to not do my schoolwork and instead watch Star Wars and write. Before y’all get any ideas: yes. I am in fact still a minor. thanks. 04/3 edit: I AM SORRY THIS IS LATE I HAVE NO EXCUSE

Movie: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Release Date: 1980

Summary(?): So obviously the Empire is going to strike back right? And Luke has to find Yoda to learn the ways of the Force? No? Oh and a final show down with Vader? Am I wrong again?

Warning: spoilers (yea no duh bibi) and mild language on my part

Timestamps

00:00:06- 20th Century Fox is here, hello.

00:00:22- the words on the screen have made an appearance

00:01:41- the iconic words have left, bye-bye

00:04:28- Han Solo

00:04:43- It’s Chewie

00:05:04- Ya’ll it’s my queen Leia. She’s looking badder than ever

00:05:22- so the guy we first saw was in fact Luke, whoops.

00:05:40- Han is leaving? What about Leia? Am I missing something?

00:06:00- Okay so I’m convinced that something happened between Han and Leia, right? She looks pissed, he also looks pissed. Uhhh...

00:06:03- Oh shoot, she called out his name and went after him.

00:06:27- the way Leia feels about him? Sexual tension?

00:06:34- does Han want Leia to admit she has feelings for him? Does she have feelings for him?

00:06:42- “Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a good-bye kiss?”- woah there Han

00:06:47- yeah, something did happen. I’m calling it

00:06:53- YES 3PO and R2

00:07:12- Oh shoot, Han doesn’t want to talk to Leia no more

00:07:19- ain’t nobody know where Luke is

00:08:06- aw Han said Luke is his friend. Character development

00:08:36- um is that Luke being hanged upside down?

00:08:47- uh oh, it’s the abominable snowman, let’s uh call him Yeti for short

00:09:00- Lukie-boy that might be a bad idea

00:09:34- he’s using the Force to get the lightsaber, nice

00:09:40- oh no, the Yeti noticed

00:09:48- he got the Lightsaber yayy

00:09:50- did he just cut off Yeti’s arm???

00:10:00- run forest run

00:10:40- aw R2 :( I want to give them a hug

00:11:58- Leia looks really nervous. Uh-oh

00:12:53- I’m sorry but Chewie wailing/crying a few minutes earlier makes me sad.

00:13:42- omg Yoda? Han found Luke I repeat he found Luke

00:15:16- I wondered where they filmed or if this was effects or something.

00:16:01- are they going to be found? oh I hope so

00:16:13- yay! Found at last!

00:16:35- i’m sorry. is that a man baby???

00:16:48- oh wait was that man baby Luke? Oh god i kinda feel bad now

00:17:02- aww Luke and Han. Their friendship gives me life (junior)

00:17:05- my queen!!!!

00:17:15- ok but seriously what happened between Han and Leia? I know something happened.

00:17:25- I know Han did not just call my boy Chewie a FUZZBALL, please

00:17:31- alone? South passage? was that when Han claimed he was leaving? Her TRUE FEELINGS

00:17:50- why does Luke look sad? Is it... is it because HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER???

00:17:58- (lets out a female lead in horror movie scream) OH MY GOD. I KNEW A KISS WAS TO HAPPEN BUT SO SOON? AND ON THE MOUTH WITH A PEANUT GALLERY LEIA HAS SOME BALLS. SO IT WAS NOT A PECK LIKE I’D ASSUMED HUH OMG tho I feel bad for Luke ‘cause (i think) she only did it to spite Han also if my math is correct IT WAS FOUR SECONDS LONG. But like is this the only kiss between the two or is there more cause ummm...... AREN’T THEY RELATED? SIBLINGS? TWINS I THINK? *Sweet Home Alabama now playing*

00:18:13- why why does he look so smug? also Han about to kill Luke a man

00:19:14- idk what’s happening

00:19:18- pew pew

00:19:44- THE IMPERIAL MARCH omgg yess... I live for the movies music

00:20:32- oh no, the music ended

00:20:38- wait nvm it’s continuing we stand

00:20:40- breathing problems much?

00:20:52- It’s Darth Vader

00:21:47- wait, didn’t he (Luke) almost die? shouldn’t he like oh I don’t know RESTING?!

00:22:47- have i mentioned that I live for the Imperial March? ‘cause I love it

00:23:39- OH

00:23:51- he really dying in the background huh

00:23:57- so he’s like dead, right?

00:24:02- what’s happening? Are they gonna go against Vader?

00:24:12- what the hell is a stardestroyer?

00:24:44- i’ve been told the dark side has cookies so uh peace out. If you would like to reach me please send me a letter via mail. thanks.

00:25:39- once again shouldn’t Luke be resting???

00:25:53- aww I want those binoculars. Is that what they’re called? Idk but I want one

00:26:05- what the hell are Imperial Walkers?

00:26:27- oh. are those Imperial Walkers? Those robot-looking dogs? omg I thought they were talking about Stormtroopers.

00:26:30- laser beam robot doggies did not hesitate

00:26:40- aw look at Luke being leadership material

00:27:09- wow these walkers are slow huh as to be expected

00:27:50- OH NO DAK bruhh nooo

00:28:09- are those robot dogs really gonna win?

00:28:21- LANDING? You mean Vader isn’t even fighting down there? Is he going to join? Or just find Luke and kidnap him and spill the beans? Or is that just my active imagination running too far?

00:28:39- the music...*beautiful*

00:28:58- tying the feet and tripping the doggies seems to be the moves huh

00:29:15- ooh and face first into the snow. how embarrassing...

00:29:20- I just know someone is losing their job or life like that one dude from before

00:30:18- i like the explosions

00:30:52- while one of the those little planes fall i’m sitting here thinking: most book/movie/tv shows that have the whole two sides thing (good vs bad) there always seems to be a traitor which makes me wonder if the good guys have a traitor? possible plot? idk, we’ll see won’t we?

00:31:18- the way these little doggies walk keep reminding me of some eerie Tim Burton movie and idk whyyy

00:33:04- two robot doggies down one more to go

00:33:25- man I just know someone from the Dark Force is gonna be dead fired

00:34:08- are those stormtroopers? They run funny

00:34:12- Darth Vader!

00:34:45- wait i’m dumb. did Vader invade the building/camp they were hiding at?

00:35:18- what does Vader want exactly? Princess Leia? Luke? the so-called “rebel plans”? What am I missing?

00:35:42- they really said: “peace out”

00:36:30- not regrouping? and what the hell is the Dagobah system?

00:37:30- did two ships just crash?

00:39:10- the music really makes this asteroid field detour awesome

00:40:25- did they--did they just go in a asteroid? Orr..?

00:41:18- and just what the hell is Luke thinking? he putting my baby R2 in distress?

00:42:04- where in the HELL are they?

00:42:21- did my baby R2 just fall in the water? Can he even swim? Is it safe? Is he going to die? Idc how cute Luke is, I will hurt him if 2D dies!

00:42:33- what. how is R2 okay? I thought--

00:42:53- Is that R2 whistling?

00:42:57- oh god, is that Nessie? oh no--

00:43:10- OH MY GOODNESS DID NESSIE JUST EAT MY BABY R2 WHAT THE FUC--

00:43:41- R2 MY BABY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

00:44:01- YEA LUKE it was a bad idea going there! You put my sweet summer child R2 in danger! He almost got eaten as dinner!

00:44:18- ughhh the music is just AMAZINGGGG

00:44:38- whose brain is that? Is that what’s left of Mr. Anakin Skywalker? ooh now that I think about: what does Darth Vader look behind the helmet? I feel dumb for never thinking about that

00:45:34- hey you leave my man 3PO alone Solo

00:45:46- oh did Leia just fall into Han’s arms? ooh

00:45:56- “Captain, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited” Leia woke up and choose violence

00:46:56- oh OH Luke is looking for Yoda?

00:47:22- omg it’s YODA

00:47:48- man idk but lighting does wonders for Lukie-babe

00:48:26- is Yoda mocking Luke? ‘Cause I’m here for it

00:48:57- why is Luke lowkey being a pushover?

00:49:09- I KNOW Yoda isn’t hitting my baby R2 with a STICK the disrespect I-

00:49:56- at this point Yoda is just pulling on their legs for kicks and giggles huh

00:51:02- oh? alone? Leia and Han? my oh my

00:51:30- oh so now they hand-holding?

00:51:50- OMG when did they get so close to one another? I’m nervous

00:52:00- KISSING KISSING KISSING I REPEAT LEIA AND HAN ARE KISSING OH MY

00:52:04- ofc it’s 3PO to be the one to interrupt the kiss

00:52:14- oop-- Leia just left the crime scene. She’s going to pretend it never happened isn’t she?

00:53:04- wait. Vader isn’t emperor? Someone else is omg. I’m so dumb eye-

00:53:07- ew his side profile is not so good

00:53:10- the front is even uglier

00:53:23- “young rebel”? my bby boy Luke?

00:53:25- “offspring of Anakin Skywalker”? wait a damn minute. Isn’t Vader oh idk ANAKIN SKYWALKER? Does that “emperor” guy not know? Or have I been lied to? WHAT AM I MISSING?

00:53:57- does this mean Anakin is considered to be a different person from Vader? I’m confused, someone explain please!

00:54:00- “could be turned”? say like Kylo? *dun dun dun* orr am I thinking too far?

00:54:16- “master”? you mean to tell me that Vader isn’t even the one pulling the strings? how embarrassing...

00:54:34- WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE R2 IN THE COLD RAIN?!

00:56:07- Luke my beauty dumbass just realized that Yoda was with the whole time

00:59:19- What is it?

00:59:29- Mynocks

00:59:35- oh hell no. I’m out

01:01:39- satan works hard but man does Luke work harder

01:01:57- “skinny boys are still the best oh i love when they slam and sweat.”-- Jack Off Jill, Lollirot (jolly good song) this one sentence describes it all :)

01:04:19- idk what’s happening but man does he look good. How long until y’all get tired of me simping over Luke?

01:04:40- wait WAIT THE FINAL SHOWDOWN IS IN THE FOREST? I THOUGHT-- I WAS TOLD--HOLD UP

01:05:01- but like, why it feel fake? Is this a dream?

01:05:09- OH--[luke just decapitated Vader I-]

01:05:20- wait. it couldn’t have been that easy. This feels wrong-

01:05:29- omg. it’s luke! Wait what does this mean?

01:05:50- when i enter a room I would like the Imperial March to play, thanks.

01:06:26- uh, is that Boba Fett? If not I’m so sorry I’m new.

01:06:52- y’all I have a cofession to make: I have a fear of driving and my mother is forcing me to. How does this relate to the movie? Well, Han is steering the ship(?) so...

01:09:16- titanic part two?

01:10:31- my poor baby luke

01:11:37- luke please don’t give up :(

01:12:32- my man yoda showing up luke huh

01:13:35- uh oh. just like the first guy, he dead too. they’re just dropping like flies huh

01:16:05- and another kiss. a small peck, luke.

01:16:34- so is that Boba Fett or not? someone tell me please.

01:16:38- someone please run my baby R2 a bath

01:16:44-y’all the only time I can do a handstand is when I’m underwater (fun fact: i don’t like the pool)

01:16:51-[R2 is being levitated rn] if he falls and BREAKS into tiny pieces i’m quitting star wars

01:17:28- R2 good, he good “... I saw a city in the clouds.” you mean heaven?

01:17:37- “friends you have there” THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WAIT--

01:19:50- they’ve [leia, han, chewie, 3PO] landed they’re safe, for now (i think)

01:20:25- [chewie replying “gahh!” to han] tell me why I laughed. I actually laughed like Chewie made a joke oh my...

01:20:34- uh oh [some dude just called han a slime(y)]

01:20:49- [they’re hugging now?] oh, wait. so they good now? or is this a joke?

01:22:01- i like the interior design of the building

01:22:49- [3PO gets blown up I think] what the hell just happened?

01:25:13- he’s not coming back is he? [luke left to save han and leia]

01:26:13- finally. someone save 3PO or what’s left of him also I like leia’s new hairstyle it’s pretty

01:26:44- was 3PO decapitated? dismembered?!

01:26:55- good for chewie to fight for the parts of 3PO hopefully it’s all of his parts

01:27:35- my man 3PO in a box freaking dismembered and Lando out here flirting?

01:28:30- what the hell? [its vader sitting at the head of the table] wait did Lando say a deal? as in turning in the princess? I--this is all happening so fast

01:28:41- [han and co. are now surrounded by boba fett and troopers] i bet they wished they’d stayed back in their rooms huh

01:30:31- oh so i’m assuming it was a stormtrooper who shot 3PO. what are they doing to han? omg is han being cooked alive?

01:31:33- wait I thought boba fett was a good guy? what the fvck.

01:32:05- what happened to han? mans looks traumatized

01:32:34- oh leia...

01:34:14- i had also assumed all these years that vader was top boss and now i’m being told about some emperor guy? what

01:35:18- i don’t understand why does boba fett want with han so bad? it can’t just be money, can it?

01:35:54- oh and another kiss and with an even bigger peanut gallery

01:38:22- what’s gonna happen to han now?

01:40:30- wait, is this where the showdown happens?

01:41:06- why is vader (his breathing) so loud?

01:41:10- OMG red vs. blue lightsaber

01:41:19- so this is it

01:42:01- oh, is lando helping them? does he feel guilty?

01:42:17- [chewie is currently choking the life out of lando] fuck yeah chewie

01:43:14- oh thank god R2 & 3PO have reunited once more

01:43:34- is it too late to save han now?

01:44:01- [back to the showdown, luke just lost his lightsaber] uh--this is why you never get too cocky too early, luke

01:44:27- [luke just flew?!] did he just fly like superman? what

01:44:31- who’s the emperor? I had assumed it was vader but i’m being told it isn’t?????

01:44:56- this showdown is a beautiful fight and those lightsabers are freaking cool

01:46:15- it’s a beautiful dance and the Imperial March is giving me chills

01:46:32- [vader is throwing random objects at luke] aw that’s cheating. and nobody likes a cheater.

01:46:42- luke just flew out the window oh wait he good, now i think

01:47:12- hold up I just realized that they (han, chewie, leia) put 3PO in a fishnet bag (?) chewie really running around with 3PO like a backpack

01:47:49- [the citizens (?) are running] i’m getting titanic vibes and idk if i like it

01:49:17- i hate to say it but these stormtroopers have really bad aim.

01:50:26- [vader just cut off luke’s hand] *shock* I-omg. He just did that. But, at the same time, I now understand the ERB Harry Potter v. Luke Skywalker so much more, make sense.

01:51:08- “father”? oh my...

01:51:17- “i am your father” oh my god. people this is not a drill, it happened, it happening uhh---

01:51:28- i feel so bad for luke. he looks like he’s about cry.

01:51:41- probs a bad time but luke’s kinda an ugly crier

01:52:14- [luke just fell & left vader standing] luke really said “i’d rather die”

01:54:04- wait, how does leia know where luke is? this some kind of force thing? maybe twin thing?

01:54:37- oh thank god they found luke

01:58:01- does vader care for luke? I mean probably not a lot since he DID chop off his sons own hand so idk

02:01:58- credits/the end

Final Thoughts? Wow. No yeah, I totally understand why Empire Strikes Back is a loved by all. It was amazing. I understand why it’s so talked about. This movie is beautiful; Leia/Han romance, 3PO and R2 banter, the good action. The soundtrack-THE SOUNDTRACK is SPECTACULAR and I would often fins myself rewinding scenes just to listen to the music. The visuals were so striking and appealing and it really showed during the showdown between luke and vader.

Favorite Scene? Luke meeting Yoda and not knowing that Yoda was Yoda and every scene that included the Imperial March in the background.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I hope none of you people get tired of me fangirling over the Imperial March whilst simultaneously simping over Luke. Thank you for joining me on my adventure of watching Star Wars for the first time. If there’s any grammar mistakes I apologize. Also I got a cute R2 lego keychain from the lego store. Also if you want leave some comments I’m lowkey lonely. Thank you once again for joining me.

x bibi

#star wars #stormtrooper #star wars a new hope #Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back #Princess Leia #Luke Skywalker #Darth Vader #I'm dumb #i don't know what i'm doing #i hope nobody sees this #I HOPE IT'S OKAY #i hope yall like it #disney #chewbacca #im a dumb fuck #i'm a dumb teen

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lenawin4 · 4 years

Text

an offer you can’t refuse

HOW WE DOIN ELLICK FANS?

I had this fic in my drafts halfway done, but after I watched that promo, I finished it in like, two hours. hope y’all enjoy. (also, may or may not contribute to the wave of 18x05/18x06 speculation fics. EXCITED)

summary:

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You’ve never taken down the mafia before?” ft. the whole gang, some blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mentions of Tiva, and prank wars.

Or: Nick’s jealous, Ellie’s clueless, and the team dismantles a crime family.

rating: gen, k+

length: 3.4k

genres: fluff, minor angst, romance

read on ffn | ao3

So Ellie’s in her corner of the bullpen, and Nick can’t stop looking at her. That’s how it all starts.

She’s wearing one of her cashmere sweaters, and they’ve been working this case for so long that her outfit is three days old. The bags under her eyes can’t be hidden by makeup and the curls in her hair have started to flatten. She has that crease in between her eyebrows that warns him not to bother her with a stupid joke, but that’s never stopped him before.

Ellie’s phone rings, so he freezes in the middle of sauntering over to her, halfway through the bullpen. It’s magic: her eyes widen slightly; the crease disappears; a slow smile spreads, then a grin.

The corners of his mouth start to slip upward, but he fights it down because McGee is at his desk. He’s talking to the local PDs, spelling out one of the long Italian names they’re trying to pin on something, and Tim is eyeing him like a hawk.

“Mark?” Ellie shouts into the phone.

Who?

“Gimme a sec,” Ellie points to her phone and mouths, I have to take this, sorry, and Nick is left gaping at the back of her head as she runs to the break room.

That happens on Day Six. A recap:

Dead sailor in a drive-by shooting in Bethesda. Grab your gear.

There was cocaine underneath the bed and piles of cash in the closet in the sailor’s apartment.

McGee traced a bank account in the Caymans to a Joey DiGiorno, as in, It’s-not-delivery-it’s-DiGiorno’s.

“Do you think he has a cousin named Domino’s?” Ellie asked; and —

For the fifth time this month, Nick realizes that he’s in love with Ellie Bishop.

Joey does not have a cousin, but he does have a criminal record and an uncle who happens to be the DC/Virginia/Maryland leader of the DiGiorno Family.

“Wow, two states and the capital city,” said McGee. “Impressive.”

On top of Nick’s To Do List - Get Gibbs everything on this guy: records, cars, girlfriends, other nieces and nephews, etc., etc.

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You've never taken down the mafia before?”

McGee follows the money to a nightclub in DC (“Do they serve pizza?”; “Nick, please.”), but there’s no way to know when or how the drugs are smuggled into the building, which can only mean one thing: stakeout time.

Stakeouts are the worst. Stakeouts mean unlimited time in a confined place with nothing better to do, the uncomfortable silence of Nick and his thoughts and the little place in his head that teeters between sixteen different names and a glass jar of lake water that hides on the shelf of his apartment.

Right now, a stakeout is the best thing that could ever happen to him.

So, Mark. He can’t exactly Boyle his way into this, not after Bishop nearly chewed his head off because he cancelled her date.

It’s not helping that Bishop keeps smiling at her phone every two hours, and semi-aggressively types out a text in all caps and extra exclamation marks. (He watches the way her fingers move. He knows those are exclamation marks. Like, at least ten of them.)

“Didn’t know dates liked it when you yelled at them all the time.”

“What?” Ellie says, not looking up from her phone.

He puts his feet up on the desk a little too harshly. Ellie wrinkles her nose.

“What could possibly be more important than this very, very interesting stakeout right now? Don’t you see there’s a hooker in front of the club and it’s barely noon? We should report it to Gibbs.”

There’s that sarcastic laugh that’s reserved for him, a quip about not being able to afford her, then back to the invisible Mark he’s heard nothing about.

To: ninja lady, 11:59

hey on a stakeout w El. what should i do

To: big wuss, 12:05

prank war. worked for us.

To: ninja lady, 12:06

i’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not

He tells her he’s buying fast food and chips a few blocks away. He asks the cashier for an extra paper bag and places a spring-loaded glitter bomb from the Dollar Tree at the bottom.

To: ninja lady, 14:05

success

To: big wuss, 14:07

ha! watch your six. revenge is tasty, no?

To: ninja lady, 14:09

i think you mean vengeance is sweet, but check with your husband

Nick returns from a bathroom break and peers left and right. Nothing in the room has changed: Ellie is still finishing the bag of fries. Her head is turned towards the window, and she’s glancing at her phone every few seconds. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he sort of doesn’t care. His chair hasn’t moved from the computer desk, and there are no booby traps outside the bathroom door or in the hallway.

Okay. The coast is clear.

“Hey, maybe you should check your face one more time, I think you still have glitter — ”

Splat.

His chair explodes in a tidal wave of green and red paint, splattering all over his jeans — gross, it feels so cold — and his leather jacket.

When he looks up, Ellie’s beaming at him from behind her phone, fry stuck in her mouth like a cigarette, green paint smeared across her cheek like evidence. Mercilessly, she sends the video to McGee, Kasie, and Tony.

To: big wuss, 17:25

I’m disappointed.

To: ninja lady, 17:29

yeah, yeah, laugh all you want

this sucks

To: big wuss, 17:30

Not just the stakeout, I presume?

To: ninja lady, 17:32

who the hell is Mark

she keeps texting him

it’s distracting me

To: ninja lady, 17:35

you know, from work

To: big wuss, 17:40

Oh, Nicholas.

(Across the Atlantic, in a small apartment in Paris, a married couple compares recent messages.

Ziva clicks her tongue. “I think he might be a bigger wuss than you, Tony.”

“I had better pranks than this guy, okay, at least give me that.”)

There’s a crowd of seamen lounging around the club. Their voices send pinpricks into his brain, and he can smell the alcohol from the second floor of this building. The bouts of laughter and shouts are interrupted by crunching. Next to him, the foul smell of artificial cheese surrounds Eleanor Bishop. Her fingers are coated with orange dust. Her eyes are laser-focused on the group of men, arms around each other, starting to sing the first bars of “Piano Man”. She licks her lips, and a bit of orange dust is left over at the edge of her mouth. She brings her fingers to her lips to lick them clean.

Nick’s mouth is suddenly dry.

Okay, okay, he needs to focus. Focus. It’ll be easy.

When he finally turns away, the hooker is grabbing one of the men by his tie, who tries to pull away. He rolls his eyes, but before Nick can say, “Playing hard to get, are we?”, the sailor is handing her a thick wad of cash. It’s exchanged for something thickly wrapped in saran plastic wrap, and he jolts out of his seat.

“It was the hooker!”

Nick did not know running that quickly in high heels was possible.

Ellie’s phone dings three times past his limit on the way to the interrogation room. The sound grates against his ears and his eyes can’t roll further up his socket. She doesn’t even notice.

They’re behind the glass, waiting for McGee to question her, when Gibbs walks in. He takes one look at the green paint on Ellie’s cheek and sees the same paint on Nick’s jeans.

Before Ellie can try to explain, Nick announces, “Gibbs, I told Ellie to call you about the hooker hours ago and she didn’t listen to me!”

“That is not true!”

“Yes, it is!”

“Wait, so we’re just going to give up?” Ellie’s hair is still slightly frazzled from tackling the suspect down, strands loose on her forehead and around her ears. She ran up and down four flights of stairs to catch her, but they’ve been given an order to push the case to another day with another lead. “What about Sugar Honey?”

“We can’t catch anyone higher up the food chain if she doesn’t consent to wearing a wire.”

“So sneak one on her!” The Director raises his eyebrows.

“Bishop.” She snaps around, eagerly awaiting Gibbs’s cowboy orders. “Go home. Get some sleep.”

“What? I can’t believe you’re actually agreeing with this.”

“Ellie,” Nick says, coming to her supposed rescue. There’s a flicker of hope in her eyes, and he hesitates to kill it. But he has to. He stands up, and immediately yelps and whines. Guiltily, he savors the look of concern she gives him. “Actually, could you drive me home? I think I twisted my ankle when we were chasing down Sugar Honey.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ellie pouts. It maybe makes his stomach flutter, which is stupid, because Nick doesn’t feel things like that.

“You know me. Stoic face and all. I could get stabbed and none of you would know.”

“You know, that’s not a good thing.” She grabs his car keys from his jacket and puts his arm around her shoulders.

Bishop throws a stern look to the Director and Gibbs. Their bosses look half-confused, half-amused; Nick avoids Gibbs’s knowing look. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walks him to his car. He feels warm and lonely all at once, because her phone rings two more times.

Nick plops down on the passenger seat, and Ellie wrenches the car into ignition, and says with no small amount of strife, “I know you’re lying and I’m either taking you to your apartment or back to the club. Your choice.”

Um. “Hey, let’s not do anything dangerously impulsive here.”

“Me? Impulsive? What about you?”

“What? When have I ever done anything dangerous or impulsive?”

“You stole a truck and totaled it when you were chasing down a suspect last month. Gibbs was already waiting on another block to cut him off.”

“Well, at least I didn’t get hurt.”

“You had a concussion and I had to wake you up every hour that night.”

They’re already out of the Navy Yard, almost ten over the speed limit, and going in the opposite direction of his apartment.

“Okay, I’m sorry I lied about my ankle. But Bishop.” He’s not sure how to say it, so what leaves his mouth is a sound of frustration. “You can’t dismantle the mafia with just this one case. These things take time. One Sugar Honey confession was the best we could do today. And that’s okay. But we’ll catch another one tomorrow, or maybe next week, and the week after that.”

The car slows down; Ellie’s pout becomes more pronounced. The sudden U-turn makes him clutch at the dashboard and pray for his life.

“Fine,” Ellie says. “But — ”

“Tomorrow, I will help you possibly arrest a drug dealer, that will lead us to the drug supplier, that will lead us to the boss.”

She nods, hands tightly holding the steering wheel. There’s glitter in her hair and streaks of paint on her jeans. They’ve barely slept in the past two days, driving each other insane.

“I can take the couch for a few hours and then we’ll be on our way. We both need to rest.”

Ellie doesn’t reply.

“If you don’t crash at my place, I’ll call Gibbs and tell him you’re going back to the club.”

Ellie protests for the rest of the car ride, but Nick doesn’t budge an inch.

The stakeout resumes peacefully. Gibbs and Vance were right: the dealers are spooked and no deals occur for the next week.

Bishop doesn’t spend every single moment on her phone, so at least there’s that. He can’t deny the twinge of longing every time he sees her eyes brighten at the sound of another text.

Still, even that is nothing compared to the ache he feels when she yawns and rubs her eyes. It’s the type of case that makes her want to prove herself, to risk everything to accomplish her ambitions, to run after something without a thought of the consequences. He knows the feeling. He has that feeling every time a kid is involved.

So he triples the bags of junk food on the floor of the moldy apartment. He lets her rest a little more when it’s his watch. She curls up in the blanket she stole from his apartment and sighs in her sleep.

They’re both exhausted, so their prank war grinds to a halt. Nick’s exasperated, and he doesn’t reply to any of Ziva’s requests for updates. Ellie’s smile is something admirably distracting and infuriating, especially when it’s not directed to him.

Here’s the thing, though: Nick can’t imagine when Ellie had time to go on a date with a Mark that he’s never met or heard of in the past few weeks. Before Operation Take DiGiorno’s to Prison, they had back-to-back murders that took a total of two weeks out of their lives. Before those, Nick went to pilates with her for three consecutive weekends. So whoever this Mark is, might be special to her. Someone she wants to keep to herself. Someone she wants to talk to all day, someone she wants to smile and laugh with, someone she wants to be with. It’s that simple.

It’s just not Nick.

The seaman in Interrogation still isn’t talking, but at least there’s something in the cocaine.

“Local PD’s been digging up everything they can about the drug ring for months, and this little sample here matches their signature packaging and purity. But I’m telling you, whoever hired their chemists needs to do a better job, cause this stuff ain’t pure at all.”

“Can we connect it to Joey or the uncle?”

“I’m so glad you asked. We, in fact, do have a way to arrest them, thanks to Kasie — ”

“Don’t talk about yourself in the third person.”

“Okay, someone’s grumpy! DiGiorno’s olive oil company bought bulk chemicals, which are being delivered to this address. We’ve got dimethyl sulfoxide, tetrahydrofuran — ”

“English, Kasie.”

“Coke. They’re making coke. Trust me, those materials are not extra virgin.”

He grunts out a thanks and swirls around, ready to leave.

“Woooaaahhh there, son.” Kasie holds her hands out in front of her to tame him. “What’s going on with you, Nicholas?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Okay. Then I guess it has nothing to do with you and your feelings.”

“What? Nothing’s up with Bishop and me!”

“I didn’t say anything about Bishop.”

“Okay,” Nick chuckles, searching for an exit route that may or may not involve rolling past Kasie in a very ninja-like manner before booking it out of the building. “You said something, I said something, now we’re both confused, and I gotta go now, bye!”

McGee’s hawk eyes peer at him when Bishop retreats to the break room again. It makes Nick squirm in his seat and try to pry his gaze away from her empty desk.

“Is something going on between you and Bishop?”

“Uh, no, why, did she say something?” He crosses his arms to quell the sound of his heart.

McGee scoffs. “I mean. You guys have barely talked since you came back from the stakeout.”

“Well. I don’t need to talk to her. All the time.”

“But you do.”

Nick makes a face. Bishop strolls back into the bullpen, carefree and light, and he shuts his mouth.

“What do we got?” Gibbs says, and McGee has no choice but to brush this under the rug.

It’s Day Ten, more accurately Night Ten, and they’re sitting in the car, driving to the warehouse where they’ll arrest Joey and his uncle. She’s wearing a vest and he has the urge to clean his gun before a shootout. But they’ll be fine.

He glances at her tied-up hair and the clench of her jaw. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, because he wants to hold her face in his hands and tangle his fingers in her hair. He wants to tell her something he can barely admit to himself.

She says nothing. The phone doesn’t ring. He keeps driving.

He forgets she has a vest on. He forgets everything, really, when he sees Ellie go down in the middle of the raid, and Joey starts running away. Gibbs yells at him to call an ambulance before he and McGee chase after the idiot who shot his partner.

Nick scrambles to her side, vision blurring, and he has more trouble breathing than she does when he reaches her. “Bishop, El, you’re gonna be okay, alright?”

Ellie groans as he slices her vest open. The bullet clatters off the Kevlar.

“Nick,” Ellie’s saying. “Nick, I’m fine.” His hands hover, barely brushing over her arms, neck, head — I have to check for concussion — and it does nothing to reassure him, until her hands fold into his. “Nick.”

She looks at him, mouth parted, cheeks flushed. Her ribs are probably bruised, if not broken. Her hands are the only source of stability; every other part of him is shaking.

“You’re alright.”

Ellie breathes out a heavy sigh; it shakes like his legs quiver, and he has to kneel next to her. “I’m alright.”

Along with the DEA, they confiscate every last bit of cocaine from the warehouse, effectively crippling the crime family’s major source of money. Joey rats on every aspect of his uncle’s business for a shorter sentence. As the EMTs are wrapping her ribs up, Nick holds his hand up for Ellie to slap and says, “We took DiGiorno’s to prison!”

He offers her his arm and a ride home. She graciously accepts, and the smile is his, again, for now.

But he can’t not say anything now. She almost — she almost. There’s nothing else to say about that.

So Nick says, “So, you’re going home to Mark today? You got a hot date?”

He’ll get over that lump in his throat, that spike in his pulse eventually. She’s alive, and he’ll be fine.

He doesn’t expect her to start laughing, only to be interrupted by a wince and a tender hand on her left side. “Nick, who do you think Mark is?”

“Uh.” There’s a dark hole of miscalculation, the feeling of falling down the cliff of Being Wrong. “Your hot new date you kept texting over the past, like, five days?”

Nick rolls his eyes. “Stop laughing, you’ll make your ribs worse.”

“It’s — ” Ellie takes a deep breath and pulls out her phone. She scrolls, and Nick’s about to say something about not wanting to read her love letters to Mark when:

Auntie Ellie, thanks for my birthday gifts! I miss you so much.

The voice can’t be older than five, with a light stammer and a lisp. Nick takes his eyes off the road to gape at a boy with two missing front teeth, and his heart both soars and sinks. Someone honks behind them, and he steps on the gas pedal, startled that he’s stopped at a green light.

“Well.”

“He turned four last week, and my brother’s been letting him call or text me videos every day. They’re stuck in Oklahoma and they miss me.” He can hear her shrug, the fabric of her jacket rustling against the car’s leather seat, but he keeps his eyes on the road. “I haven’t been home in almost two years.”

“I’m sorry.” It punctuates the silence that follows, leaving them both speechless, wondering, wishing.

“Were you jealous?” Ellie whispers.

“Yes.” He can’t stop himself. Not anymore. Nick floors the brake and looks at his passenger’s seat, red light shining on her, everything else dark and unimaginably lonely. “Yes.”

Ellie nods, then smiles. “Okay.”

They arrive the next morning together. McGee smirks at his phone. Kasie’s eyes switch between them, back and forth, before she raises an eyebrow and glares at Nick, threatening and protective. Gibbs says nothing. Nick smiles the whole morning, because he still tastes her lipstick on his teeth and feels her hair in his fingers.

To: big wuss, 10:20

Congratulations. You aren’t a bigger wuss than Tony.

To: ninja lady, 10:25

ha. thanks

for everything, i mean, i guess.

To: big wuss, 10:26

You’re very welcome, Nicholas.

fin.

#ellick #ellick fanfiction #ncis #ncis fanfiction #a very small bit of tiva #just enough to satisfy my own needs

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cheap-hangover · 3 years

Text

GoldenEye, plot holes, and movie logic - part 1 of 3

Most James Bond fans or even casual viewers seem to like 1995‘s GoldenEye. For me, it was one of the first James Bond films I’ve seen, having gotten DVD’s of GoldenEye and Tomorrow Never Dies not long after seeing Casino Royale in a cinema and renting a DVD of The Man with the Golden Gun from a DVD rental shop afterwards (don’t ask me why that one; also, pardon the dated technology). Only later I got to watch the series as a whole and could judge the movies not just on their own, but also as part of an over forty – now almost sixty – year old legacy. GoldenEye still remains one of those I know the best, since I own the aforementioned DVD’s.

Fom the production history, the James Bond brand was resurrected after an unprecedented 6-year hiatus after the undeserved commercial failure of Licence to Kill. (EDIT: And, more importantly, a legal battle, which delayed Timothy Dalton's return. When the problems were resolved, he only wanted to do only one more, but he was faced with a choice of three movies or none. He chose the latter.) The hype was real – new Bond, new director, new decade, new political landscape – and it got fully satisfied for many.

Not for me.

I admit, I’ve always been a sucker for the more „realistic“ takes on the spy genre (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy comes to mind) and realistic movies in general, but James Bond has never been a proper spy, not even in the books. That said, I like adventure thrill rides too – but not to the point of Roger-Moore-ridicoulous. And here lies the problem. While I can definitely enjoy the spectacle and all those wonderful (masterfully shot) set pieces, I am constantly being thrown out of the story when I can’t suspend my disbelief. It’s not the only Bond movie to do that to me, Goldfinger comes to mind, but that's a different kettle of fish and I may talk about it in a different post. Due to man's herd mentality, I felt wrong when I read constant praise on this film everywhere and nothing to confirm my feelings. How can a majority be wrong, right? (This sentence is only half sarcastic). So I decided to give it another chance. I'm not going to describe the whole of the film, that would make this long post into a novel. I'm just going to point out the good, the bad, and other interesting things that occured to me when rewatching this feature and also split that into three parts. So, in the words of Jeremy Clarkson, here we go:

Act I - Archangelsk The film starts very strong, with a gripping sequence of a mysterious man running on a dam and jumping down its side on a bungee rope. Nothing wrong here, I've loved that opening, especially when we're greeted by Éric Serra's bold soundtrack right from the gunbarrel sequence. Then comes a minor let-down, when Bond is cutting through a roof with a laser. I'm not a fan of unrealistic gadgets and the dart-winch gun with a cutting laser simply doesn't cut it for me. Especially when you can see that the beam doesn't line up with the cutting line, because the roof is actually being cut from the inside.

Bond playfully dispatches a defecating soldier and proceeds to pose his way through the corridors. Yes, I don't like these poster shots with a handgun brought up to one's face, vertically in profile. I'm not a tactical expert, but from what I know, there are ways for moving indoors with a handgun ready in front of your eyes, and this is not one of them. Next is meeting with 006 and quietly shooting their way to the gas tanks...with the silencers sounding like Hollywood instead of real ones (yes, I'm that pedantic). Also, apparently their victims die of stroke, because there is no blood. I know, PG-13 and all that stuff, but this is James Bond, it's not meant for kids! It's for grown-up immature men. Anyway...the alarm is sounded and colonel Urumov (I know he's credited as Ourumov, but that's only to prevent anglophones from pronouncing it Yurumov) comes in with his soldiers armed with AK-74 rifles (wooden stock) and chinese Type 56-1 rifles (under-folding stock) dressed to look like AKS-74's. I love the look of an AKS-74 (side-folding stock) that 006 captures, I even had one as an airsoft rifle. It was rather front-heavy. On the other hand, Bond's captured AKS-74U (shortened) must have been really handy. He loves to pose with it in this movie, just like with his Walther PPK. Most of the AK's have a very fast cyclic rate, faster than the usual ~600 rounds per minute that the AK-family shares. Also, almost bottomless magazines, as opposed to 30-rounders. I do appreciate the correct shape of muzzle flashes, though I still question their size. Logically, that much propellant left to burn outside the barrel is just wasted energy and it gives the position of the shooter to the enemy - and the mod. 74 cartridge was developed concurrently with and for the AK-74. Video footage of the real thing confirms that.

Urumov and his men are no more capable than the inept agents. The colonel can't secure the area properly and puts everyone at risk. His men are even dumber and even more trigger-happy. Luckily for Bond, they've attended Stormtrooper shooting practice and Bond manages to escape on a conveyor belt. When he slides down from it outside the building, we can see that during some cut, he and 006 have travelled tens of floors from the bottom of the dam to the top of the gorge. It's a fast action sequence, so adding the climb would dilute the flow, but it was genuinely confusing until I sat down and thought about it.

Then we come to the (in)famous aircraft scene. I'll skip the action to the point when the pilot-less plane reaches the edge of the runway and immediately goes into a dive. I'm not a pilot, but an aircraft like this should be capable of being flown hands-off, meaning no force on the stick is required for level flight. IMO, it should either stall and fall off the sky, or take off and then stall and fall off the sky. Or I'm just talking rubbish and a dive is exactly what a plane like this does when it's too slow for level flight. Bond manages to jump (on a motorcycle) after it, fall faster along the same trajectory (it's a very deep gorge), get inside, struggle with the stick, eventually get the elevators working and with a Stuka siren scream (sigh) manages to pull out of that dive. Where do I start...all objects fall basically with the same acceleration, air friction on both Bond and the plane should be similar. The plane is slower, therefore it still must be flying, whereas Bond is falling with little forward velocity. When he catches up to it in the vertical, the plane will be too far away in the horizontal. Mind = boggled. For non-history buffs, that high-pitched wailing sound was only produced by German WWII dive bomber (Sturzkampfflugzeug, hence "Stuka") Junkers Ju 87 via little wind-powered propellers mounted on the landing gear struts, meant for demoralising the enemy. It's a common Hollywood trope which says "this aircraft is going down" (usually resulting in a crash). After Bond manages the impossible, he gets back above the gorge to watch the facility explode and we get a seamless transition to Tina Turner singing.

In summary, there are some minor flaws, some painful clichés, one plot hole, one great stunt, one incredibly stupid stunt, great action and great music. And all that before the title sequence! For the continuation of my rambling, wait for, or see part 2, if it's online by the time you read it. Have a nice day.

#james bond #goldeneye #martin campbell #pierce brosnan #sean bean #eric serra

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new2otomelol · 4 years

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Maid to the Rescue - Part 2 - KBTBB fanfic

I do not own the rights to KBTBB, Voltage does. This is just a fanfic made for fun! Hope you enjoy.

Two days later...

Preparation for rescuing the bidders took longer than expected, but when it comes to the prime minister, we have to be extremely thorough.

Night lights on the freeway breeze past me as I speed to my location. My heart beats in anticipation for what's to come; not out of fear, but excitement.

A year ago, a planned mode of attack would have never crossed my mind, in fact, many things scared me back then, not anymore.

A sudden beep lures me back to the present. "Siren! It's done! Net took his buddies out to the bar. Nix and I are taking off." I tap the earpiece in my ear to respond. "Great job everyone, I'm parking at the south end. Was the other vehicle dropped off and weaponized earlier?" Nix responds this time, "hell yes darling and I can't tell you how happy I am to be back with you all." God I missed my friend. "It's rock and roll time! Gage, do you have controls over the cameras and signal blockers for the warehouse?"

I hear a different beep this time, "yes sweetheart, there's 20 armed guards and a masked guy in there. Be safe. We're on standby for you." I click my earpiece one more time and give the code "operation GAMBLE is underway."

I park the car two blocks away from my intended location and exit the vehicle, proceeding to remove my weapons from the trunk. First, I store the tranquilizer guns on my side holsters and grab a couple of Glocks loaded with armor piercing rounds and other small bullets to cause damage, but hopefully not to kill. I place my knives on the inside holsters of my jacket as well and place a few hand-held darts on outside pockets of my my bulletproof vest. I have to anticipate the boys’ physical condition due to their current situation, they might be weak, or worse. Just in case, I prepared injections containing electrolyte solution and a bit of adrenaline educing drugs and store them in a small container on the inside of my boots. I finish off with my face scarf covering everything except for my eyes and connect my earpiece to the side of my tactical helmet that is equipped with automatic night vision and other goodies. Clad all in black I walk toward my destination in the darkness of night.

I reach the rear entrance of a dilapidated warehouse and notice a guard standing outside the door; a parking lot light hardly illuminates his area of supervision. I make my way slowly behind him as he leans lazily on his side against the door, attempting to ignite his lighter for some much needed nicotine relief. The man suddenly jerks as he notices a shadow on the ground creep up from behind and a sudden sting on his neck, but it's too late to react as the Ketamin in the dart takes effect. I catch him quickly and ease him down on the ground as he falls. It's nighty night for a few hours sweetheart.

I hurriedly pick the lock on the door with my tools and enter a very brightly-lit hallway that seems to have a couple of doors. The building itself is old and has been abandoned for some time, but these guys get use of everything the government owns, thanks to the prime minister.

I scope the area out and discover one of the rooms to be the security camera section, bingo! I tap the side button of my helmet to connect to my earpiece and contact Gage. "I'm about to take on the video security guys, let's start radio silence and jam all signals for 2 minutes." I whisper and hear a small beep as acknowledgment from Gage. I open the door slowly and find 3 men sitting in front of a set of 20 monitors. Some of the videos I could tell had been looping thanks to Gage's crafty hacking. I slowly take out 2 tranquilizer auto-injectors and sprint towards the men stabbing the two to my left and quickly taking another to engage the third guard. The poor man is taken by surprise which causes him to react late. He reaches for his radio and turns pale as he notices there is no signal detected. He lunges towards me in an attempt to strangle me, but I side-step him quickly and tranq him as he passes me.

I honestly feel bad for the men, they're only doing their job, but still, these are the bad guys Lisa, focus! I turn my attention to the monitors and notice that most of the views of the warehouse are set to observe outside and to a couple of the hallways, then I spot them, the bidders. The men are sitting on what looks like steel chairs that are volted to the ground and restrained with chains that are all connected to the center of the room held by one large lock. This should be easy enough.

I engage my comm and contact Lucy. "Alright Luce, I can see where the guards are and have acquired their location, go ahead and cut off the lights and block cellphone and radio signals again, we don't want them to communicate with each other."

"Sweetheart are you sure you want to go fully silent? We won't be able to get to you in time should something happen." Gage interjects. "I'm sure guys. I got this. Stay ready for part 2 of the plan and I will contact you in the next 15 minutes, if not, send help."

"Roger Siren!" I hear them all say and then the audio goes dead. The lights cut out almost immediately activating my night vision visor. I take out my dart guns and walk out to the hallway once again.

I can hear the rushing of footsteps all around the factory as confusion and chaos sets into to their reality. I run down the hall to the second door and before I can open it, one of the men bursts in. I take a step back and shoot him with a dart. Once he falls to the ground I notice two more behind him and shoot them as well. Seven down, 13 more left.

I jump over their bodies and make it to the main open area of the warehouse. I look around to find the stairs, I need to reach the second floor. The scene before me is almost comical as I see these tough men in suits scramble around in the dark aiming their weapons at nothing and sometimes at each other. "What the fuck man? Somebody must have broken in!" one man yelled. "Dude, better not shoot at anything, we need to get our flashlights! Where's our boss?" another yells. The first idiot answers back, "he's upstairs with those assholes!"

I try not to laugh at their dialogue and shoot them and 5 other men with darts; 10 to go. I rush up the staircase and notice beams of light coming from the railing. Crap, they found their flashlights.

"I see something!" one of them yells as I climb up the last few steps and spots me. He runs towards me in an attempt to tackle me. I drop my now empty tranquilizer guns and take out one of the auto injectors. I open my stance to let him get to me as he clashes to my torso, I bring up my knee with much force to strike him in his diaphragm, knocking all the air out of him. He pins me against a wall and coughs roughly, gasping for air. I stab the needle in his arm to tranq him and knock him out.

I hear the whistling sound of a bullet pass me by as I realize the rest of the men on the second floor with me and some have me in their sights. I push the man off of me and take out one of my Glocks as I roll out of the way and hide behind a metal cabinet. I hear many more shots, but I crouch low and shoot out their flashlights, gaining back my cover.

I venture out once more and pass by two men before another one manages to grab me by the neck and squeezes tightly as he realizes that he has acquired me. I hold on to his arm and perform a scissor kick, entangling my legs around his neck and shifting our weight breaking his center of axis, taking us both down to the ground and knocking him out successfully.

Hearing the scuffle, 3 other men walk towards me, trying to feel their way around in the dark. I shoot each of the men’s legs where I know it won't be fatal and quickly get up and run towards the door at the end of the hall where my targets are located.

Keeping the count going, I have 5 men left to go and the masked idiot as well. I take a step back against the metal railing and support myself as I kick down the door that leads me to the bidders. Once the door is smashed I roll out of the way and take cover behind the wall next to the door. As expected, the masked man remained inside with the rest of the guards. They quickly shoot a few rounds and stop to reload.

The lights suddenly flicker back on. Figured as much, I knew one of the men I left alone would eventually make it to the breaker and restart the system. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I know and have planned for. "Come out you bastard or we shoot them!" a man’s voice calls out from the room.

So cliché, can't criminals be a bit more creative? Laser sharks? Something more fun? Ugh, alright, time to end this. I stand up and walk in slowly while waiving my guns in the air as a form of surrender.

"Now what in the world do we have here?" Says the masked man. As expected, he is confused by my physique. Why would an intruder be skinny and shaped like a woman? Men, so predictable. I look at Eisuke, Mamoru, Ota, Soryu and Baba and thank goodness they are aware enough to see what is going on. It won't take much to get them going, although, poor guys, they look very roughed up and dehydrated.

The masked man lowers his gun, preparing himself to make a villainous speech and I take advantage of his ideocracy. I drop my guns to give him false hope that I am turning myself in, causing the men to laugh. They should have paid attention to my fingers, my throwing knives are hooked and ready to go.

It all happens in slow motion for me I start to swing the knives quickly into position and throw them. First, I am at the masked man's shooting hand, stabbing him right through his wrist. I then start to cart wheel to the side as one of the men begins to fire and I throw two more knives with one hand, hitting both men as I use my other hand to support my movement. I end up croouching next to Eisuke because I know the guards are under strict orders to not shoot him or the others.

"Bitch! Come out here and fight us!" One of the remaining two men states as the others either tend to their wounds or run away. I laugh a little too loud by accident and one of the men catches it, grunting in frustration.

Eisuke looks down at me and whispers, "I don't know who you are, but do you have a death wish?" I shrug it off, if he only knew who he was speaking to. "Okay, so does that mean you want to fight hand to hand?" I yell out to the remaining morons.

The men whisper to each other, more than likely coming up with some sort of half-assed strategy. "We're lowering our weapons, come out, right fucking now." I place my guns on the floor and kick them away. I stand up and walk towards the men. As expected, one of them pulls out a knife while the other tries to pull out his gun from his back belt-holster. I run towards the man with the knife and smash my left arm in an angled swing against his right arm as hard as I can, causing him to drop his knife. I hold onto his biceps pushing his arms back and using them for balance as I plant my left leg down and kick hard at the man that was reaching for his gun, hitting him right under his chin with the heel of my right boot. I then shift the top part of my body back arching as much as possible, grabbing and pulling the knife guy hard, flipping him downward, smashing his head on the floor with his own momentum. Before I can hit the ground, I had let go of the man used my arms to support me leaving me in a wheel position, except for my extended right leg. I bring that leg down hard on top of the guard’s head, propelling the lower part of my body up and helping me flip upside up again. Both men end up knocked out.

I move quickly go to collect the guns from the floor as I hear a startled Baba yell, "Holy shit, that was amazing pretty lady!" I laughed again, they have no clue of who I am and no way to know as my helmet disguises my voice. I take a quick bow for fun and quickly look around again to get my bearings straight. At least two men are able and out there somewhere and masked freak has run out of the room like a wounded dog.

I re-upholster my guns and take out the case holding the electrolyte coctails I made for the men. As I take the auto-injectors out, the men begin to panic a bit. "What are you going to do with those?" Soryu yells. "Relax gentlemen. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so already (I always wanted to say that). These are to help you get rehydrated and give you the strength you need to follow me out of here, I can't carry you all."

I head to Mamoru first and stab him on one of his legs and do the same to the rest of the men. "Who are ya kid?" Mamoru starts off the inevitable round of questioning. I go to the center of the room and begin working on the massive lock that is holding all of their chains together. Jesus, masked man has a flair for the dramatic for sure. The lock seems complicated, but I begin to work on it. "Look pops, right now is not the time." He scoffs in frustration.

"Who sent you?" Eisuke asks. It takes me a minute and the lock finally gives way, I don’t have time for idle conversation and have to ignore them. "Alright men, listen to me. You can begin pulling your chains, they are lose now." I look up at them as they stand, then see that they have thick metal cuffs, stupid masked man. I take a small container of acid I carry for just such occasions. "Okay, show me your cuffs. I will be putting a drop of acid on the hinges. Be sure to shake them off quickly." The men do as told, but not without making a fuss about it all. "What else ya got on you?" Mamoru asks, trying to be funny. I remain silent, focusing on my plan.

"Okay men, we are heading out of this warehouse towards the back end. I anticipate that we'll be followed so we have a great cinematic car chase to look forward to. Be sure to grab some guns from the ground. Let's go!"

PART 3 COMING SOON...

#kbtbb fanfiction #kbtbb fanfic #kbtbb soryu #kbtbb mc #kbtbb #kbtbb ota #eisuke

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pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer · 4 years

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Super Fighting Roll (2-3)

(Roll tracks down the last remaining Energy Element, but soon discovers that things are far from over.)

Roll spun around, buster armed, as the transport completed. The only things that greeted her were another transporter unit and an endless expanse of dusty red plains.

“Mars? I guess I should just be glad they didn’t go even farther out. Dr. Light, can you read me?”

Static came in reply. Giving a short hum, Roll set out, Rush on her heels, keeping her eyes open for any sign of movement.

“Never thought we’d get to see another planet up-close, huh boy?”

Rush barked.

“Hehe...though, a lot of things have taken an unexpected turn lately.”

She thought back to what Break Man had said. At first she had simply wanted to dismiss it as a misunderstanding—being weaponized had been her choice, and it was bizarre that he thought otherwise. The more she thought on it, however, she became curious as to why he was so sure Dr. Light would do such a thing on his own.

The way he talked about Dr. Light…it almost made it sound like he knows him personally. And now that I think about it, that would explain why Dr. Light wasn’t expecting Break Man to just talk things through. But, if they do have some kind of history, why wouldn’t Dr. Light have said so? No, more importantly…I’m positive Break Man is a Robot Master. I was sure that Tempo, Rock, and I were the first, so when could he have met Dr. Light without us knowing? Unless…

Glancing back, Roll suddenly realized that Rush had stopped following her. She turned to look at the dog, standing a few paces away with ears perked up, and prepared to call him. Before she could, he pounced on something.

“What’ve you got, boy?”

Rush pulled a small mechanical snake from the dirt. Roll tilted her head as she examined it, and then froze, spotting the dirt behind Rush shifting. She fired a shot, blasting out another robot snake.

“What are these things?”

“Oh, you’re no fun…”

Whirling, Roll spotted a figure emerging from the surrounding dust cloud: a Robot Master with mostly green armor, his helmet styled to look like a large snake with its jaws around his head and tail hanging down his back. Keeping her eyes peeled for more snakes, Roll said, “I just want the Energy Element.”

“So impatient. May I at least introduce myself?”

“I’m going to guess ‘Snake Man’?”

The robot frowned. “No fun at all...regardless. If you are here, then I take it our comrades left on the moon have met their end?”

Roll didn’t answer.

“Ah, what a shame. If you’re capable of defeating them, then the rest of us certainly don’t stand a chance.” He began to walk back into the dust cloud. “Yes, I think it’d be best to just hand the Element over. Come, this way…”

Roll turned to Rush. The dog looked up from gnawing on the snake he had caught, giving a low-pitched whine.

“Yeah, I’m not convinced either...but, we need that Element.”

The two of them proceeded with extreme caution, scanning the ground for signs of any more snakes while also keeping Snake Man’s silhouette in sight. After a few minutes of walking, the dust began to thicken; wanting to keep the other robot in sight, Roll ran forward a few steps, and at that moment a pinpoint of light appeared. Roll dove aside, the incoming laser beam grazing her shoulder. Large metal spikes then began to rain down, so she stayed low, carefully crawling forward in search of her enemies.

I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

A gust of wind finally thinned the dust cloud. Roll found herself staring up at a small, two-story structure made of metal stained red by the planet’s dust, Snake Man standing in the doorway grinning at her. “What ever is the matter, Roll? The Element is right in here. Come over and take it.”

He ducked aside to avoid a Hard Knuckle. From the upper floor, Needle Man fired a hail of spikes; Roll slid behind a boulder just in time, spotting another laser a second later. “They’ve really got the advantage here...I’ll have to be smart about this.”

She peeked out and took aim at Needle Man. He ducked back inside immediately. A battalion of snakes were set in motion before she could switch targets, so she instead began clearing them out. A figure appeared behind Snake Man then, shooting yet another laser, though it was aimed away from Roll for some reason. She refocused on destroying the snakes. The laser hit another rock, bouncing off of it at a new angle, and went straight for Roll, knocking her out of her hiding spot.

“Uh-oh!”

Needle Man was back. Roll had no time to dodge, opting to blast the incoming spike out of the sky instead. Several of the snakes were upon her now, biting into her armor all at once--leaping to her feet, she shook them off with Top Spin, ducked back behind cover, and prepared some new tactics. She instructed Rush to shift the dirt on one side of the rock, hopefully making her enemies think she was about to emerge from there, and then darted in the opposite direction towards another adequately-sized boulder. As she passed, she shot Snake Man with Spark Shock to prevent him from adding to the army of snakes. Once safe, she unloaded a series of Magnet Missiles, the projectiles curving around her cover in search of proper targets.

“Admirable effort, Roll!” Snake Man called. “But aren’t you forgetting something?”

Snakes began to crawl over the rock. Roll leapt back and fired a Hard Knuckle, shattering the stone and disrupting the movement of the machines. She tried to head back to her first hiding spot, but Needle Man was too quick: a barrage of spikes kept Roll in place, allowing the snakes to regroup and resume their march. A bark caught Roll’s attention. Rush, in his jet form, rocketed towards her; she grabbed the edge of the platform and was carried out of harm’s way, quickly pulling herself up to get better footing.

“Thanks, boy,” Roll said.

They turned hard to avoid a laser. Circling around, Roll got a better idea of the landscape, seeing that the building was protected from the rear and sides by natural barriers.

“That still leaves one other way!”

After verifying that they were out of their enemies’ sight, Rush flew as low as he could without the roar of his jets giving them away, and Roll jumped onto the nearby rock wall. She steadily climbed down and onto the roof of the building, then looked back to Rush and held up ten fingers. Roll gripped the hatch on the roof, took a deep breath, and then ripped it off and jumped inside. The inner walls looked identical to the outer walls, and the room was empty save for a few rusty crates and a very surprised Needle Man.

“Wha--where’d you come from?!” he shouted, hurrying to lift his cannon.

Roll threw a Shadow Blade before he could fire, knocking his arm aside. She followed with a Spark Shock to stun Needle Man, and then blasted him into the wall with a Magnet Missile. Snake Man leapt up to the window as quickly as he could, only to be met by a Hard Knuckle that sent him falling back to the ground.

“Gemini Man, get up here!” Needle Man shouted.

Roll ran at him, hoping to not give him enough space to use his cannon. Suddenly, Needle Man bent forward, and the spikes atop his head extended out, stopping Roll short. As she stumbled back, she saw one of the lasers from before shoot out of the stairwell: it ricocheted off the ceiling, floor, and walls, fencing her in. However, Needle Man did not attack.

“Jerk...at least get an idea of what you’re aiming at!”

Ten seconds had passed. Rush came charging in through the opening in the roof, getting hit by the unexpected beam. Roll stunned Needle Man again as she made sure he was alright. Before she could follow up, snakes emerged from the stairwell and advanced towards her.

“Darn it!” Needle Man stomped his foot and took aim with both cannons. “Prepare to look like swiss cheese!”

He fired wildly, leaving no opening for Roll to counterattack. The projectiles zipped past her, most of them burying themselves in the oncoming wall of snakes--they were easily pinned to the floor, and those in the rear were slowed by the need to crawl over their companions. His assault only lessened when another Gemini Laser entered the room. Between the three incoming attacks, Roll was forced closer and closer to Needle Man, soon coming into range of his headbutt attack; as he moved to use it, Roll ducked and slid forward, colliding with Needle Man’s ankle and tripping him into the Gemini Laser. The impact sent Needle Man rolling into the wall, where he sat dazed for a moment.

“Ugh...just great…”

Roll pointed her buster at him. “Just give up. I don’t want to have to hurt you.”

Needle Man stared at her. “...Huh. You really aren’t what the boss prepared us for.”

“...What?”

“Here we were expecting a terrifyingly powerful Robot Master ready to kill at a moment’s notice. You’re tough for sure, but it doesn’t really seem like your heart’s in it.”

Roll clenched her teeth. “Of course not! Why would I want to kill any of you? I’m only fighting because you’re forcing me to!” She turned to blast some of the snakes before immediately putting her eyes back on Needle Man.

“Heh heh...guess someone’ll have to let the boss know he’s wrong. I would love to see that.”

“I already tried, but Break Man won’t talk to me.”

Needle Man shook his head. “I don’t mean him. I mean--”

Another Gemini Laser shot into the room, reflecting off the wall once before striking Needle Man directly in the chest. In his weakened state, that was more than enough to pierce his armor, searing a hole clean through his internal components. Roll jumped back in shock. A few seconds later, a scowl clouded her face; she grabbed Needle Man just long enough to copy his weapon, and then shot spikes through the floor in a circle. When she stomped on the center of the circle, the floor broke away, giving her a path to leap directly down to the lower level.

“Ah, there she is,” Snake Man said. On either side of him stood Gemini Man and his duplicate, though which was which was anyone’s guess. “You’re quite determined to swoop down on us from above, aren’t you? Are we so beneath you?”

Ignoring him, Roll stared at one of the Gemini Men. “Why would you do that to Needle Man?”

Both Gemini shrugged in response, one saying, “Who knows?”

Roll opened fire. “Is it really so easy for you to kill someone? What’s wrong with you?!”

Her foes scattered. Roll tracked one of the Gemini while the other and Snake Man flanked her. Rush dropped on top of Snake Man just as he prepared to attack, and the closer Gemini charged at Roll, prompting her to turn her assault his way. The spikes passed right through the projection, and the real Gemini Man used the opportunity to set a Gemini Laser bouncing around the room.

“What a peculiar thing to say!” he remarked as Roll focused on tracking the laser. “Of course it’s easy. As if it could be difficult for a technical marvel such as myself!”

Rush scurried back out of the laser’s path. Bounding back, Snake Man began calling up his army; Roll turned her fire upon them, impaling the troops before they could advance more than a few inches, and managed to land a direct hit on Snake Man’s shoulder. He cried out, clutching the wound as he slumped against the wall. Switching her focus again, Roll ducked just beneath the Gemini Laser and equipped Magnet Missile, hoping the homing projectile would be able to track Gemini Man. The laser shot down her first attempt before she could find out.

“I can’t believe anyone would program robots to be so cruel,” Roll said.

“Are you saying all we know is wrong?” Snake Man asked, baring his fangs in a pained smirk. “It isn’t our fault we are who we were programmed to be. There’s no need to act all high and mighty.”

Gemini Man and his doppelganger charged before Roll could respond. She leapt back, the laser striking her in the side and knocking her flat. Snake Man capitalized on the situation with a small squadron of snakes, with the tiny machines charging straight through one of the Gemini. Switching to Shadow Blade, Roll attacked the other, stopping his charge, before tumbling out of the snakes’ way. Rush pounced on the real Gemini Man to keep him pinned, while Roll dealt with the snakes and turned to their master.

Raising his arms, Snake Man said, “My, this is unfortunate…”

“Where’s the Energy Element?”

“Right over there.” He gestured slowly to a crate in the corner. “By all means, help yourself.”

Keeping her eyes on Snake Man and her buster ready, Roll made her way over to the indicated crate. She grabbed the lid, paused, and lifted it, spotting the Element at the bottom on a bed of something she guessed was packing material. The instant she reached for it, Snake Man darted in Rush’s direction. Roll was ready: she shot him with the Needle Cannon, the spike piercing straight through his chest, and with a drawn out cry Snake Man fell to the floor, his sparking body soon growing still. This still distracted Rush, however, and Gemini Man was able to set another laser loose into the room.

“Get back boy!” Roll shouted as she ran forward, sliding just under the beam’s path.

Rush complied, and Gemini Man sprang to his feet. He leapt back, shimmered, and then jumped to one side, his doppelganger jumping in the opposite direction. Roll hit Snake Man’s body as she passed, armor turning green and white. Three Search Snakes leapt from her buster, zipping along the ground too low for the Gemini Laser to intercept them, all converging upon the real Gemini Man and bringing him down as they sank their fangs into his ankle. Roll launched a Magnet Missile to cancel out the Gemini Laser, and then glared at Gemini Man.

“You...you just got lucky!” Gemini Man said. “If it weren’t for the others holding me back, there’s no way you could have outperformed me!”

Roll shook her head. “What’s the point of this? Why--”

She stopped short as Gemini Man raised his hand to fire a laser. Quickly, she fired a Hard Knuckle in return; the beam reflected off the rocket-propelled fist back into Gemini Man, finishing him off before Roll’s attack even landed. With a harsh sigh, Roll knelt and copied his data, and then transferred the Element to Rush’s storage compartment.

“Let’s hurry home, boy,” she said. “I’m worried about Dr. Light and the others.”

Rush transformed into his jet mode and carried her in the direction of the transporter. Roll tapped her fingers against her leg, thoughts lingering on what Needle Man had said.

There’s someone other than Break Man behind all this. I just hope it’s not who I think it is...

***

Light typed away at his console, eyes repeatedly flicking to the comm window in the corner to see if the connection had reestablished. Wily set a hand on his shoulder, saying, “Thomas, I can handle this if you need some time. I’ll let you know right away when Roll comes back into range.”

“Thank you Albert,” Light said, “but I think it’s best I stay busy.”

“If you insist. The Energy Element is installed, so we’re ready to test as soon as you are.”

“I’m finished here as well. Running test in 3...2...1…”

Light hit one final key and held his breath. Behind him, Gamma roared to life, light shining from the eyes on its half-completed skull. Wily grinned. “Excellent! Let me take a look at those readings!”

Not far away, Rock applauded alongside the construction crew, though he slowed to a halt when he spotted Elec Man in the crowd. He hesitated, but then approached, asking, “Elec Man? Are you okay?”

The other robot shuffled away slightly. “Fine.”

“Okay...it’s just, you’ve been really quiet since the other Energy Elements were stolen. Are you worried?”

He shifted his shoulders. “It’s nothing, Rock.”

“...I don’t want to butt in, but...if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk, I’d be happy to help. I mean, I’m your big brother after all! Technically.”

Elec Man finally turned to look at him, expression blank at first. Rock saw him crack a small smile as he turned away again. Giving a sigh, Elec Man quietly said, “I guess I’m worrying you, aren’t I?” He paused. “I’d never quite realized how powerful my abilities were. I had some idea, of course, but now I have a much deeper understanding. After seeing just what I was capable of under Wily’s reprogramming...I suppose I’m afraid. If I were to lose control, even briefly, I could end up destroying someone else, maybe beyond all repair this time. When I destroyed that Robot Master’s projection, I thought I had done just that. That’s why I’m still shaken.”

“Oh. I see…”

Elec Man shook his head. “There isn’t really anything to be done about it. I’ll just have to be as careful as I can.”

Rock waited a moment. “...Have you talked about this with Roll?”

“Roll? No, why?”

“It isn’t exactly the same, but...well, I shouldn’t say too much. But, she’s been struggling a little after having to fight all of you, so she might have some advice that could help you out.”

Elec Man looked up, considering this silently.

Back at his console, Light nodded at the data he was seeing, and prepared to shut Gamma back down. Something caught his eye, stopping him, but before he could look into the matter, the sound of the lift descending reached his ears. He turned, expecting to see LaLinde or Tempo coming to join them. His heart stopped when he laid eyes on Break Man.

“...Blues…?”

Wily noticed him as well. Throwing his hands up, he shouted, “Agh! Break Man! Oh no, this is terrible!”

The worker robots scattered in a panic. As Break Man stepped off the lift, Guts Man came forward to meet him, saying, “Well well well! Looks like you finally decided to stop hiding behind your minions and come face us head-on like a real robot! Good--I was hoping I’d get the chance to deal with you personally!”

Break Man ignored him completely, gaze fixed solely upon Dr. Light. Trembling, the scientist muttered, “Blues...it’s really you...you’re still alive…”

“Hey, tough guy!” Guts Man said. “I’m talking to you.”

Break Man finally faced him.

“Yeah, y--”

Suddenly, Break Man’s armor changed color, becoming purple and white. An instant later, he was behind Guts Man, slowly walking towards Gamma.

“Wh--hey! Get back here!”

Guts Man lunged after Break Man, the other robot’s armor now turning green and white. Four large leaves whipped around Break Man, deflecting Guts Man’s attack before flying out at him, slicing through the small gaps in his armor. Break Man then lifted his buster and activated its beam, knocking Guts Man flat on his back.

“Hold, villain!” Fire Man declared as he bounded forward. “Whatever purpose brought you here, I will not allow you to succeed!”

Break Man’s armor turned white and gray. He and Fire Man both attacked at the same time, Fire Man’s flaming shots soaring high while Break Man generated several bubbles which travelled along the ground. Break Man pulled his shield around just in time, but Fire Man was taken by surprise, the water-based attack shocking him still. Guts Man pushed himself to his feet, but now Break Man’s armor was brown and yellow--he generated a circular saw blade in each hand, and then hurled them straight into the chests of both his opponents, dropping them instantly. After pausing to glare at Light once again, Break Man continued towards Gamma. Activating his laser, he swept it through the scaffolding, setting the gargantuan robot free with a thunderous rain of rubble.

“Is he trying to take Gamma?” Rock said. “We have to stop him!”

Elec Man held him back, saying, “How exactly are you going to do that? You’ll only get yourself killed!”

“But…”

Break Man took a few steps towards the two doctors. Wily cowered, but Light just kept staring at him, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

“I thought you were lost forever,” Light said. “Blues...you’re still alive...I’m so glad…”

At this, Break Man froze. Wily said, “Thomas, it’s Break Man! He’s attacking! What are we going to do?”

A smile came to Light’s face. “Blues...I’m so happy you’re alright…”

Wily looked up at him. With a sigh, he said, “Hrm...hardly the reaction I was hoping for.” Now perfectly calm, Wily came forward. “Nonetheless, excellent work, Break Man! Not that I expected anything less.”

Break Man nodded. Rock said, “Wait...what? Didn’t you say you were the one working for Break Man?”

“Neh heh heh, foolish little robot. That was nothing but a genius ruse to gain Light’s trust! I’m the true mastermind here! Nehahahahaha!”

Finally emerging from his trance, Light furrowed his brow as he turned to face Wily. “What? Albert, is--”

He whirled in a fury. “That’s Wily! You will refer to me with respect, Light--never again with familiarity! It’s been agonizing playing along all this time! I thought my skin would crawl right off my bones!” Wily grunted, but then his mouth curled into a smirk. “It was worth it, however. Using your designs, your resources, your labor, I was able to construct this unstoppable war machine in record time! My brilliant plan was a success! And once I unleash Gamma upon the world, not even your precious little lab assistant will be able to stop me! If she even survived her trip to Mars, that is! Nehahahaha!”

“I’m just fine, Wily!”

He winced as Roll’s garbled voice sprang from Light’s terminal. “Rrgh, of course. I knew I should’ve sent the other batch…”

“Dr. Light, are you okay?” Roll asked. “I made it back to the moon and I’m closing in on the transport coordinates! I’ll be there in just a minute!”

“I think not! I took the liberty of encrypting Light’s transporter program--it’ll take him quite a while to get things working again!”

“What’s wrong with you, Wily?! We trusted you!”

Wily waved his hand, turning his back on the console. “Bah, I don’t have to indulge this prattle! All I need to know before I leave is whether or not you retrieved those Energy Elements for me, Roll.”

“There’s no way I’m turning them over to you!”

Wily’s smirk spread into a grin. “Yes, I thought you might say that. Break Man!”

Break Man was suddenly right in front of Rock. He grabbed the robot by the arm and yanked him in Wily’s direction, but then paused. Turning his head, he saw Elec Man standing next to him, two electrified fingers pointed straight at him.

“...Let Rock go,” Elec Man said. “I won’t ask again.”

Break Man let go. Then he was behind Elec Man, stabbing a curved metal boomerang into his back. Rock cried out as Elec Man dropped to his knees. Fighting to stay online, Elec Man fired a bolt of electricity at his foe, only to have it blocked by another set of leaves. Break Man’s armor then turned orange and white. When he aimed his buster at Elec Man, it fired a projectile with a blinking orb on one end and a sharp point on the other, which buried itself in Elec Man’s back. Break Man then kicked him aside, grabbed Rock once again, and dragged him over towards Wily.

“No...I won’t…!” Elec Man struggled to lift his arm, preparing one more attack. The item stuck to his back then detonated.

“Elec Man!” Rock shouted. “No! Let go of me, you…!”

“What’s happening?” Roll asked. “What are you doing?”

“I was thinking a trade might appeal to your sense of fairness,” Wily said. “You give me the Energy Elements, and I’ll return your brother Rock to you!”

“Roll, don’t worry about me!” Rock said. Break Man clamped a hand over his mouth before he could say anything else.

“Oh, you really should. If I don’t get my hands on those Elements, I’ll reduce him to scrap metal!”

“Wily,” Roll said, “you--”

“Wily!”

The entire room went dead silent at Light’s sudden shout. He leveled a stern gaze at Wily--the look that may not have been harsh in its own right, but out of place as it was on Light’s kind face, the jarring, eerie feeling it generated multiplied its weight exponentially.

“I won’t forgive you if you harm my children.”

“Ah, so that’s what it takes to get you mad,” Wily said. “How interesting! Don’t you think, Break Man?”

The red Robot Master said nothing, only tightening his grip on Rock.

“Blues,” Light said, “I--”

“Save it, Light!” Wily interrupted. “You have my demands. I’ll be waiting for my Elements!”

Wily pulled a small device from his pocket. At the press of a button, he, Break Man, Rock, and Gamma all disappeared into thin air. Light’s fierce expression vanished as well, replaced by a look of absolute terror.

#Mega Man #Roll #fanfiction #Super Fighting Roll #Roll Reversal

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as “determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

#bnha 256 #midoriya izuku #ashido mina #uraraka ochako #aizawa shouta #present mic #all might #aoyama yuuga #eri (bnha)#bakugou katsuki #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #oh my god I am so tired #I will maybe edit some additional tags later lol #for now I'm gonna go eat dinner

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pernatius · 3 years

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Lost in Space Part 12: Ch 3

Summary: The fate of the universe will be decided in the final five chapters.

Lost in Space on Tumblr

Lost in Space on ao3

Back to back, Mikrovos and Saamuki fought alongside each other against the swarm of The Speaker’s desecrated people. His gauntlets punched through their mask after mask, shattering the faceless covering of unknown substance. Their pieces brushed against the metal and pelted his face before he finished them off with a furious shock wave of energy straight to the jaw. Saamuki kept Two busy as she controlled her flying sword with one hand and decimated row after row of those mindless cloaked figures with the other. I could hear and feel their explosive movements all the way here. So I could only imagine how incredibly loud and heated their zone of nothingness actually is. However, as they still remained to face away from each other, they managed to communicate incredibly well with each other. It is as if they are reading the other’s mind. A few Watchers from either of the two outsmarted the other, disrupting their once seamless attacks. Mikrovos ducked before getting half of his head blasted away. Saamuki’s sword wheeled away from their Lord, jutting the giant’s sword out of their grip in the process, and decapitated the Watcher that was about to kill her husband. While lowered, Mikrovos stabbed the incoming Watcher that was about to take advantage of Saamuki’s distracted state. Midway through that multi-souled being falling, Saamuki’s sword came spinning through them, decapitating before she sent them to dust and once more clashing with Two’s sword.

Five, who’s still back to the floor, clapped, causing the ground beneath their coming rock opponent to open. Again, someone falls from the sky, but unlike the last time, Sakhra’s fall is a loop of him plummeting into the first hole from the second. The no-neck Lord gets a kick out of this. Literally, after a struggle to get back up, they wobble to the repeated falling of Sakhra and kick. He is sent rolling across the floor and tumbling onto Two’s throne, which brings out the nagger of the chair’s owner.

That’s what brings his structure to crack. His chest is splitting and outcomes a bloody cough. He wipes off the green blood from his lips before Five grabs his throat.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had to move this much, but it’s also been the most fun I’ve had in quite a while, so thank you.”

None of us can help. Three placed their ridiculously long hands behind their back. They watch Kaishi having to fight against the laser coming out of One’s reddish eye. The floor beneath her is rupturing, curving inward towards her or piercing towards the sky as One’s veiny weblike structure around their intending to slay eyeball expand and depress as they muster out their mocking. “Commander Kaishi, I’ve heard so much about you. But, after all these years, this is all you’re capable of? Pathetic.”

Out of the three, at least Syco isn’t on edge even though he is busy trying not to get his neck snapped from Six’s fists. Six’s gold swings along with the swing of their fist. Syco dodges and sends a fist the Lord’s way. The Lord catches it, and the two of them grab each other’s second hand. Both proceed to shake as neither wishes to release the other.

As for us three, the rest of the hundred or so other Watchers who aren’t out to kill the lover duo found interest in us, so I’ve barricaded us. All four of Bichak’s eyes, his hands and book, are glowing as all seven crystals spin around him, and the ends of his coat and entire body are drifting upwards. He is whispering what I assume is a spell from the first language. With each new word, they become meshed with the previous. The healer in our group and now brawn punches through the small openings I make. So, preoccupied just like the others. When Watchers begin to climb onto the dome I created around us, I add myself to the list of people that have barked at the defeated Sakhra’s ex-brother and the once late Shiitakee’s boss. “Explain to me why those damn crystals are so important.”

At that, the roof cracks with the strike of the group of Watchers climbing above. I repair it. “Besides the copious amount of years it took to convince the Nantos to grow these after the last time they were asked to farm?”

“Yes.”

Our brawn punches the group of Watchers thumping above.

“These were made to capture the Lords. Saamuki figured it would be impossible to kill the Lords. She said it was a very slim possibility after being corrected by Sakhra, who then said through the little possibility that the energy that would be released would be catastrophic. So, it was Commander Kaishi that proposed we should learn from the tyrannical Knox, which Mikrovos took offense to because it was how you—”

“How I died. Got it. So, how long until those things charge?”

“This isn’t as easy as it looks. I’ve studied for days on end. This is my first time actually doing anything remotely this powerful and will hopefully be the only time I need to. I’m under a lot of pressure right now, you know?”

“I get it, but we don’t have all the time in the world. Universe. How much time do you need?”

“Five minutes.”

“A long five minutes.” On one side, the brawn grabs the faces of two of the Watchers and smashes them together. On another, I send a beam of light through four of them, then another directly at One’s eye. One once again stumbles back. Their one-eye waters. They’re blinded as Three replaces One by taking on Kaishi. The clap from them pushes Kaishi back. She pierces two blades into the floor before getting swooped any further by the heavy breeze but is slapped into the ground.

Three lifts their hand, revealing Kaishi and her broken arm. I’m about to scream, distraught, but I notice her arm reforming first. Nanites. Of course. She stabs right through Three’s incoming hand with her healed one. The Lord plucks it out and looks down, and grunts at the satisfied commander.

Now encircling the floating Three is a golden ball of light. I try taking down Three, but my efforts are merely met with a bounce. Kaishi steps back before my ricocheting blast can hit her. Hundreds of arms even longer than Three’s cartoonishly long arms stretch out from their light. They twist, turn, hop, and glide over the other transparent arms. She’s able to dodge most. Those she can go right through the floor and those she can’t, she tries shooting and slicing through the all too close ones. These split into two, become more arms, and continue towards her until they pause before her when her back meets Syco’s.

I want to burst out of this dome and help them, but I can’t. Those floating crystals that are taking way too long to be usable are our only shot. I can’t keep letting my impulses take the better of me because not only do I know by now that it’ll somehow just make things worse, but it also means letting all their sacrifices go in vain. I choose to believe growing up means understanding there will be times you have to do things you don’t want to do, but that doesn’t mean I can just watch. It doesn’t stop me from flinging the bits of pieces of what was once my blade at Five. They cut right through the arm that’s clinging onto Sakhra. The hand falls with a hard thud, and plenty of blood spills all over Two’s seat. I ignore Two’s reaction and instead focus on the high-pitched cry, nearly the sound a pig makes when endangered, as they try to cauterize the wound.

In contrast, Sakhra tries holding in a cough, which is challenging considering their chest is crushed even if it is repairing, but there’s something different about his healing process. I see numbers, code, squirm towards each other. They bunch up as he tries landing a hit on the pig-like Lord.

One hand creates steam as it heats up the bloody wound, so the Lord is technically handless, yet they’re still landing hit after hit on their not-so-privileged opponent as their kicks smack across Sakhra’s arms. He’s having a tough time defending himself against the surprisingly now light on his feet Five.

With stretched gauntlets, she’s able to keep pace with the barrage of fists and the return of One, who has returned to trying to blast with their one eye. The cyclops’ target is also Syco, who can dodge, but is now having a tough time being Six’s equal as he gets punched in the face multiple times. Things are growing dim, which isn’t entirely figurative as the green giant and I are growing tiresome, pushing off the Watchers, causing us to lose light the slower we become. At least before I’m unable to see what’s happening outside of the dome, Mikrovos and Saamuki remain to have the upper hand. Saamuki even lands a cut across Two when her sword slides across their sword after a cling. The last thing I see before the rest of the Watchers buried us is Two inspecting their wound and being shocked at their blood having been spilled.

I’m crouching because of the weight of keeping this dome from collapsing from the immense amount of added weight. Some parts are cracking again. I reknit them, but once I do, three more pop up. The sounds of their thrashing don’t help my frustration. “Please tell me those things are done charging.”

Both the green one and I try to catch our breaths as we turn around and look at the sweating figure behind us. Bichak’s words are slurred. “Almost. One minute.”

A chunk of the dome above falls between us. It shatters once it hits the ground. A charging hand slides through the hole. I summon a shield before the Watcher can shoot. It smacks their hand out and them away from the dome. We don’t have a second before another replaces them, and we don’t have a minute because the dome’s cracks have become too much for me to fix. “I don’t think we have a minute.”

“Fifty seconds now.” More pieces of the dome are sent falling. The now not so silent one grunts as he shields us from the falling parts. On the other hand, I shoot at the wiggling hands, pushing off the Watchers as well in a seemingly pointless attempt at buying us some time. “Forty-five seconds.”

A pesky Watcher manages to squeeze themselves through one of the widening holes. Another is trying to force itself through as the two of us stand, protecting the four-eyed annoyance and his crystals. My partner punches the Watcher straight through their gut. He then sends another punch their way, but it catches it. With those two entangled, I teleport right beside it. The beam goes right through them and a couple more lying on the other side of the wall. We work through several until the long-awaited words are spoken.

“Done,” Bichak finally announced. He raised a hand into the air, causing the crystals to spin faster as his other hand rose above the sparking book. “I just need room.” I push the remaining dome away from us along with the Watchers around us. I then burst out some more of my energy, killing most of the Watchers around us and the duo some feet beside us. Those left stare.

All seven of the Lords fell on their knees. Streams of rich yellow light are being pulled out of them towards the crystals. Besides Four and Seven, they questioned their weakened states as they’re easily overpowered by Sakhra, Kaishi, Syco, Mikrovos, and Saamuki. Speaking of Seven, with trembling hands, they’re slowly slipping off the chain wrapped around them. Killing all those Watchers took a lot out of me, sure, but not enough to leave me weak, helpless. I’m charging up as I look at Seven who’s eyes smile upon noticing me. My hair is floating around me as I burn with not-so heavenly light.

“There,” One realized and pointed at the levitating man behind me. “Get him.” When the Watchers turned to the Lord then looked back at me, they stepped back. One’s eye glowed. In unison, yellow light escaped from the crevice between their faces and masks. Along with that, their awe seems to die as they dart towards us.

“Shit,” the vegetation finally spoke.

“Yeah.” Back to back, the two of us are preparing for the long fight ahead as the others are busy with the Lords. I’m about to shoot, and he’s about to punch when suddenly Seven gets up from their throne and removes their chain. All of us follow the swinging of their chain as it coils around One’s neck. Before One can react, electrifying energy bolts across the metal, electrocuting the Lord, incapacitating them as they fall face first. As soon as they do, Seven yanks the groaning Lord towards them.

“Seven? What are you—” But it’s too late because Seven sucks up the rest of One, leaving not only the rest of us to stand in utter shock but for Four to slam their book close with a sneer as well.

#236 #lost in space #my writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr

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calliecat93 · 4 years

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Not counting today’s chapter. at last I am caught up with my reviews! Yay!!! Take that everything in the universe working against me! It’s kinda crazy though. This is only Chapter Five of Fourteen... and yet it already feels like endgame. So much happens in this chapter. So, so much. Major things, small things, going in a completely different direction than I was expecting, absolutely everything is off the table now. And I do mean everything. Wanna know what I mean? Well, let’s find out, shall we?

Overview

Pietro has gotten Amity functioning and ready for liftoff, but they need more turbulence to properly send it off. As such, Penny is setting up a bomb in the Dust Mines to use the explosion of power to ac as the liftoff. During this, Penny again brings up staying to help, but Pietro again tells her no in favor of her being safe in Amity. Seeing this, Maria points out that maybe Penny’s gotten tired of being told what to do by others. Pietro goes on to the terminal and prepares for the launch, all seeming to go according to plan.

Unfortunately, there’s an unforeseen complication: Cinder. She, Neo, and Emerald crash in via plane and Cinder is all set to take down Penny. yes folks, it all began in Amity all those volumes ago, and we’ve now come full-circle. The two Maidens fight, with the bomb also going off and sending the colosseum up2ward. But there’s now a problem, Cinder’s entrance has damaged one of the boosters, so the colosseum is dropping down. Even so as Penny and Cinder fight, Maria fights Neo and is actually holding up very well against her. Never underestimate old people folks!

Penny tries to lure Cinder out of the arena to avoid anymore damage, but it isn’t long before Cinder realizes this and goes back. Penny even asks her why she’s even doing this for Salem, but Cinder claims that she is controlled by no one while Penny merely follows her programming and does as told. She proceeds to try and melt the support beams in the arena, forcing Penny to use her powers to try and freeze them. But it leaves her wide open and Cinder is able to get her into a hold and start draining the Maiden powers. Thankfully, Penny is able to get out via ice swords.

As Neo gets defeated, her Aura even breaking, Emerald steps in ty use her Semblance on Penny to trick her into seeing multiple Cinder’s. Penny is surrounded, but unfortunately for Cinder, Penny has heat seeking vision that let’s her rat out the real one. She blasts her with a laser beam, knocking Cinder into a wall and get knocked out. Emerald is upset, shooting at Penny but only hitting more of the arena. Emerald knows that she can’t beat Penny, but is more than willing to keep causing damage if she doesn’t back off. Penny complies, allowing Emerald to get Cinder into the jet and escape with Neo.

While the villainess trio is gone, they’ve left major damage. The arena has lost it’s broadcast window and are heading down. But Penny suggests hat she can hold it up to allow them to get into broadcast range. Again Pietro refuses and when Maria bring sup the bigger picture, the scientist snaps that he doesn’t care about that, he cares about his daughter. After already losing her once, he doesn’t want to go through that pain again, simply wanting to see his child live her life. Penny steps up to him, telling him that she’s trying to. This let’s Pietro tearfully allow Penny to go, and she give shim a kiss on the head before flying out.

With Penny keeping the arena stable, the message is broadcast. The message has Ruby revealing everything to the rest of Remnant. The Maidens, the Relics, and yes even Salem. She lays out the situation, even saying that Glynda and Professor Theodore of Vacuo can vouch for it. Ironwood, however, can no longer be trusted. Speaking of, he has had Watts figure out how to control Penny and the mad doctor adds his corrupted chip to the sword that they previously got. Penny’s eyes flash red as she realizes that something’s wrong. Due to this, Ruby’s message ends just as she tells the world that if they all work together, then they can win.

Penny shuts down due to the hack, falling to the ground in a fiery blaze. Her final act before she cuts off? To tell her father that she loves him. Ironwood is not happy with this result, even when Watts says that she’s likely rebooting, and even throws his Scroll at the doctor. He orders the Ace-Ops, along with a “recovered” Winter to go and locate Penny as well as for Harriet to take Watts back to his cell. They all fail to notice Watts taking not only Ironwood’s tossed Scroll, but tools as well. Back in the tundra, JYR are confused about the message cutting off when they hear something. They go outside and... remember the cracks last episode? It’s now exposed a sea of Grimm... and it’s heading directly towards Mantle.

Review

Well... you think that you’re prepared for the pain at this point... and then the world throws you a curveball.

Obviously Penny and the Amity Fight are the big things here, but let’s go into some other stuff first and work our way to it. We’ll start on a happy note, Ruby’s message got transmitted! Yay! And WAAAY sooner than I expected. I think we all expected this to happen near the end, which means that all expectations are off the table folks. I think that this may be the monologue Lindsay mentioned recording that she said was her favorite Ruby moment, and I don’t blame her. This is one of her best moments. This is akin to her role in Volume 6: being the inspiring hope-bringer who can unite others. Heck she even calls herself a Huntress as she di in the V6 finale. Seeing her efforts pay off and how much she’s grown, even being more realistic when pointing out ironwood’s actions and changing course form saying ‘if we fall’ to ‘if Atlas falls’, makes me so happy. It also makes what happens after hurt and I’m even more convinced that something is gonna happen to break Ruby, but we’ll see how that goes.

And of course we get to see Remnant. Not just Atlas. Not just Mantle. We get to see several characters and locations that we haven’t seen in a LONG while. The Cotta-Arc’s in Argus, Ilia in Menagerie and receiving a call from Ghira, Sun and Neptune with our first on-screen glimpse of Vacuo, Glynda and Shopkeep in Vale which was a BIG surprise, and even Tai and Zwei in Patch... which Tai’s reaction when the feed cut hurt my heart. I know some are bummed about no Team CFVY or Raven or whoever else, and aside from the current circumstances there’s any number of reasons why, though it’s pretty likely that we’ll see them eventually. Still, it was amazing to see all these characters and places again. Heck, Glynda is one of my least favorite characters, and I was glad to see her and with an updated Maya model! We’re probably not gonna see much else (maybe Tai will get Raven to send him to Atlas since he likely at least knows she’s around, but that’s all I can think of), but I am VERY much hoping that the cavalry is coming.

Okay, now we can cover Amity. We’ll actually begin with Maria vs Neo. I’ve made it no secret that I’m not a big Neo fan and find her overhyped especially because of her fight track record, so I was VERY glad to see Maria beating her. It actually shows that Neo has weaknesses and isn’t unstoppable, which has been one of my biggest issues with her since she became important again. Maria was also the best person to do so. Some have apparently complained due to Maria being old (...even though the retired old person being a badass fighter has been a common trope since forever especially in anime) and not haven’t fought for years. But not only has Maria clearly kept in shape, but also remember her Preflex Semblance. She can pretty much detect things before they happen, an given Neo usually likes to psyche people out with her illusions or mess with them to get them flustered and not focus (as she did to Yang in V2), that kind of power comes in very handy against this kind of fighter. Plus seeing Maria having the time of her life was just so fun~

Emerald... was there. Yeah, she didn’t really do much in the fight sadly. But we do get one strong moment after Cinder is knocked out. We all know how attached to Cinder that Emerald is. She gave the thief a new life that wasn’t her trying to survive on the streets. Even though she’s clearly terrified of everything wit Salem and the Grimm, and rightfully so, she’s continuously put it aside to stay by Cinder. A woman who has been nothing but cold towards her, has outright smacked her at least once, keeps her obedient, and only keeps her around for her abilities. Mercury pointed it out in V6, Cinder doesn’t care at all about either of them. Mercury always knew that and never cared, but Emerald isn’t ready to accept that. She was outright tearful as she threatened to shoot up the arena unless Penny backed away. I feel so bad for her, especially since Cinder is NOT going to react well when she wakes up, and it’s just... uncomfortable to watch Emerald continue to devote herself to someone who would absolutely abandon her if she no longer had any us to her. I’m still hoping that by the volume’s end, Emerald will finally break free before it’s too late. IDT Mercury will quite yet considering his issues and still expressing no care about his actions, but Emerald very much has a chance.

Now let’s do Cinder. So... this sucked for her, huh? Cinder has very much been on a downward spiral. Back in Volumes 1-3, she was in-control, defeated everyone in her path, got the Maiden power, killed one of the strongest students in beacon, and had successfully crippled Vale and planted the seeds of discord in Remnant. But since then? Ever since Ruby Silver Eyes blasted her? She was too weak to do anything for months, ruined the plan to get the Haven Relic all because of her thirst for power, got her ass kicked by Raven, lost the Winter Maiden powers twice now, was almost Silver Eyes blasted again, and has now outright disobeyed Salem multiple times now. She began as a woman who seemed in control of everything, but we not only saw how that wasn’t at all the case, but we’ve watched her slip more and more as she prioritizes her quest for power above all else. Heck she only got the Fall Maiden power because she had Mercury and Emerald, but thinks that it’s all she needs now to get the rest and fails to realize how she was wrong despite all the failures since.

So here she not only failed to beat Penny again, but she also did it directly against Salem’s orders. Salem has been fairly patient with her, even letting her get away with bringing others into the cause (Emerald, Mercury, Neo), but I doubt that it’s gonna last much longer. Her mocking Penny for being a robot, saying that she merely follows programming and is controlled by others, is dramatic irony. She’s either in utter denial or genuinely fails to realize how she is under Salem’s control. Sure she’s disobeyed her, but ultimately she is following Salem’s game. Will she break form Salem? At this rate probably. I still thinks he’s gone way too far for a redemption arc, but her going rogue is still a very strong possibility. But not only is it not gonna happen before Salem punishes her, but it’s not gonna be good for anyone as Cinder won’t hesitate to slay anyone in her way on her quest for power and control. Not the heroes, not the villains. Be afraid people.

So at last, we come to the Polendinas. To say that everything hurt would be an understatement. Once more we have Penny not being allowed to make her own choices, tis time due to her father. We all know that Pietro is a good guy, but it’s still unfair to Penny. he girl has been pulled around so much, not allowed to have her own agency or control her own fate. In Vale she was almost always guarded by Atlas personnel, got banned form befriending Team RWBY, and then when she made a plan to remain at Vale, her first death happened. Yeah, her facing Cinder and Emerald again in Amity Arena was very much symbolic. Then last volume she was was always made to put her duty above all else, got framed for murder, the general outright made it clear that to him she’s just another robot under his command, and then everything bad that happened in the last few episodes. She DID choose to comfort Fria in her final moments and to defy Ironwood to help the others. choices that she made herself. But even now everyone, even Ruby, told her to stay in Amity. It’s merely out of concern and has a fair reason behind it, but it’s still not allowing Penny to choose for herself.

It makes what happens after the fight hurt so much. As I said, Pietro is a good person. Why is he so insistent on keeping Penn b him? It’s not because she’s a robot. It’s not because she’s a Maiden. It’s because she’s his child and he doesn’t want to lose her. He already did once, and even if he brought her back the loss of a child is one of the worst experiences that any person can go through, even if it’s not their biological child. He doesn’t even mention how he might die if he tries to fix her again, he doesn’t care about that. He wants his daughter to live her life. His fears are that of any parent and it is absolutely understandable, and his breakdown is utterly heartbreaking. But as Penny says, she’s trying to live her life. Even if she does die again, she wants to lead her own life. She wants to make her own choices. She wants to be like other people with emotions and feelings. And of course, even if it was ordered upon her, Penny does genuinely want to help and protect people. The message is Mantle’s only chance, and it needs to go out. Pietro tearfully relented due to all of those reasons. The whole scene is one of the most emotional in the series thus far and it was executed perfectly, especially by the VA’s.

But of course, we come to the ending. Watts successfully hacked Penny. We all knew it was coming, but not when and it happened at the worst possible time. But to make it worst, Penny shuts down and falls downward in a fiery blaze, her fate now unknown. Everything about this hurt. First, Ironwood seeing his original plan work, but being too far gone now to care and blowing what may have been his last chance at realizing/atoning for his mistakes. Then there’s Penny’s fear as she realizes what’s happening. Seriously, Taylor McNee nailed portraying Penny’s emotions as everything unfolded. Ironwood, in his anger, pretty much gift-wrapped what Watts needs to both escape and wreak havoc within Atlas for Salem. But of course, we don’t know if Penny survived and even if she did, she is likely under Atlas’ control. Not only does this potentially mean that the Vault is getting open, but it Watts takes over then Salem has the Relic, another Maiden, and Atlas is guaranteed to fall. But once more, Penny was taken control of in the worst way. Then her last words as Pietro is begging her to tell him what’s going on and the end shot of him clearly breaking down... God man, just... ouch.

These were all things that I expected to happen. But they all happened much sooner than I or anyone else expected. As I said, absolutely everything is off the table now. All of my expectations have been thrown out of whack, and IDK whether to be excited or terrified. But man this episode. Along with all I already said there was the battle itself, which was epic. The only thing it was missing was a new rocking song just to really take it to eleven, but the score was still perfection. Then there’s the ending with the River of Grimm. There are... many reasons to be afraid right now. That’s not even mentioning stuff we’re still waiting on like a Whitley and Weiss confrontation, the Ace-Ops and Winter going after penny, the potential cavalry, and SO much more. Needles to say, the last two chapters before the break are gonna be rough. How do they expect us to survive for six weeks?!

Chapter Stats

Favorite Character: Penny Polendina Favorite Scene: Penny and Pietro talk and Ruby’s message Least Favorite Scene: None. Favorite Voice Actor: Taylor McNee (Penny) and Dave Fennoy (Pietro( Favorite Animation: The entire Penny vs Cinder battle Rating: 10/10

Final Thoughts

First 10/10 rating of the volume! Yay! Man, I just remember sitting in shock after it was all over. Every chapter has rocked me in one way or another, and this was no exception. The emotion was on point. The action was fantastic, the voice acting was stellar, the character writing continues to soar, and we’re left with both amazing highs and amazing lows. We got the message out. We hopefully have help incoming. Penny got to finally control her own life. But Watts’ hack was successful. There’s a River of Grimm heading for Mantle. There’s Watts having the key to do who knows what. here is so much on the line, and the final results are still uncertain. Hold onto your seats folks, this ride isn’t settling down anytime soon.

#rwby #rwby8 #rwby spoilers #rwby reviews #rwby musings #callie reviews

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abizarreyodelingincident · 5 years

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(LU) Ridiculous Optimization: The Art of Finding the Right Tool for the Wrong Situation

Chapter one: They're big pots, really

Wild's Hyrule was, for lack of a better word, a pain.

Now, if you were Warriors, who regularly tangled with nobles and their ilks as part of his duties, you might describe it as 'a temporary yet persistent sort of agony, so scandalous, good sirs and ladies'. Or, if you were Sky, who serenaded his Zelda with loving devotion, the description might resemble 'a land broken but resisting, a primal kingdom for the ambitious to remake'.

But the average Link was neither, and the general sentiment came out as 'Wild's Hyrule is a giant pain'. (One should recall that both Legend and Wind existed in the general sample and drastically lowered the ability to describe Wild's Hyrule in polite company.)

The weather conditions were, all in all, quite tolerable outside of the occasional lightning storms which threatened to violently roast them all (Time especially). Wild's one recurring grip being the rain making it impossible to climb cliff sides and barely-standing-towers – which, in all honesty, had become Twilight's favorite weather for this exact same reason.

The few tribes of monsters could provoke violent swearing, in good part after the Links had assimilated the color system that ruled Wild's Hyrule. (Four could never look at golden monsters the same way now.) No, no, a Link knew to adapt to their circumstances and would learn all the right tricks to fighting any sort of monster that showed up in his path.

In fact, Time had gone on record to say that he'd gone on an adventure in a much more stressful kingdom, because at least the moon was only red and not looming.

The real challenge was so many of his enemies being outright mini-bosses at least. Wind's Hero's Charm had confirmed their health being far superior to the average roaming monster, and, to the general disbelief, added that no, Lynels did not count as minibosses for some goddesses-forsaken reason.

“That's three!” Warriors called out, slashing away at one twisting limbs. “One to go!”

“Get down!” Hyrule shouted just in time for Warriors to duck under a blue-ish laser.

The two heroes felt air woosh over their backs, cold and sharp despite the explosion that ravaged a rock formation down the hill. Despite the sheer damage done, none of them gave the ruins even a passing glance. Normally, some Link like Four would wonder out loud about the marvels of technology that had led to the creations of robots as powerful as the Guardians. That would, unjustly, earn him a slap upside the head from the others who just wanted them all exterminated.

But, if anything, their mechanical structure should be glorified, as unlike almost every other enemies the Links met in their travels, the Guardians could not be further enhanced by black blood.

No, the Guardians were a special pain in the Links' anatomies all on their own.

Legend had already written down the tirade he reserved for the Sheika elders that had thought beamos weren't mobile and powerful enough in his journal. One day, he would travel to the past of Wild's Hyrule and give them all the dressing down they deserved and it would be beautiful.

Three grappling hooks latched onto the last Guardian's limbs just in time to stop it from running over the downed Warriors and Hyrule. Now, against, say, a Lynel or an Hinox, pulling such a maneuver might have given the monster pause, but the Guardian's head merely rotated and aimed its tracking light at Time.

He alongside Twilight and Sky dispersed to avoid the lightning quick retaliation and even then, Sky felt the flames lick at his heels.

Rolling away, he ended up in a huddle close with Legend and Four, behind a large, mossy rock. "You know," Sky said, nervously chatting instead of saving his breath, "they kind of remind me of pots."

Legend's eyes twitched. “Ah, yes, they're tougher than most of my bosses, faster too, shoot laser beams, but they are a little round-ish. I see the resemblance.”

"Oh!" Four exclaimed, thunderstruck. "I've got it! Cover me," he shouted to the others.

Without even a moment's consultation, Wind and Wild both rushed out of their hiding spots and pelted the Guardian with bombs, their supplies of arrows depleted during the ambush. It only made the Guardian's base tilt slightly, though, a few seconds were all Four really needed. His hands found the handle of the cane with the ease of many adventures' worth of practice.

Not a second too soon either, for one of the Guardian's limbs had snaked through the barrage and swept Wind aside. And now threatened to grab the little rolling pirate.

Four swung the twisted branch. A staff, Wild realized as a glittering ball of energy flew off its head and struck the guardian head on. For a split second, he allowed himself to hope that it would have a bit of an effect on the thing. He'd seen (schemed for, though he never admitted it to Twilight) a Guardian struck by lightning before, and it had shrugged it off as easily as a breeze. Those things just wouldn't-

The Guardian flipped over.

Wind's shocked cursing translated the general gobsmacked bafflement of the eight heroes over five feet tall.

The Guardian landed on its head, its top carvings digging into the soil. The legs frantically expanded to try and right it, but could find no purchase. Their articulations had not been created to allow the legs to reach the head area. Combining those facts effectively condemned the feared contraction to reenact a flipped turtle's dying moments, with half the dignity.

Wild staggered backward into Time's waiting arms. “Wh-what, I don't… how?”

“Magic,” Time replied with the air of a wise old man, “you never know what kind of stuff it can do. Also,” he cleared his throat and spoke louder, “watch out for the laser beam, boys."

Hyrule and Wind flinched back from the upside down Guardian, like kids with their hands down the cookie jar. The eye turned from blue to red.

"It only shoots in a straight line," Wild said, recovering from his shock.

The dreaded red dot stuttered in place, stuck in a very narrow margin.

“Yeah, but can't it turn its head?” Hyrule asked hesitantly, not looking away from the dot.

They distinctively heard the noise of some gears inside the thing turning, like a low-humming buzz of energy. Where the head met the body, the whirring flashed in rapid succession.

The head remained unmoving.

The other half of the guardian span.

“It's going to start flying now,” Wind said with clear apprehension.

Twilight nodded to that. The motion was eerily similar to a mad peahat preparing to soar the skies.

Legend shot them both an annoyed look. “With those legs?”

“It's a Guardian!” Wind protested. “They don't just fucking flip over and die?”

As if to punctuate the point, the Guardian's beam shot out of its frantically beeping eye. And, as if to immediately contradict itself, the beam missed them all by a mile, roughly, though it did strike on a stray lizalfos.

“Huh, didn't notice that one,” Warriors mumbled, as Legend burst out laughing at the madness of it all. “What kind of item is that anyway?”

Four gave the twig a twirl. "The Cane of Pacci. It flips things over."

Legend scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "What kind of wizards gives their name to a staff that's good for flipping things over? I know magic-users can be lazy bastards, but that's a bit much, even for me."

Four shrugged, unfazed. "Who knows? It came in handy surprisingly often. Case in point," he waved an arm toward the flipped guardian.

A shrieking noise caught them off-guard, momentarily.

Wind had lodged a giant broadsword in the guardian's eye up to its hilt. The whirring machinery slowed, smoke leaking out of its gears and plates. If it hadn't been made completely helpless before, it certainly was now. Warrior looked inordinately fond of their young and bloodthirsty pirate for finishing off a helpless killing machine.

“Four,” Wild said, his face frozen in the most serious expression any of them (except Twilight) had ever seen.

“W-what?” Four replied, startled by the hands grabbing his shoulders.

“Name your price. Do you want rupees?” Wild asked, pulling out his slate. “Because I will bury you under more rupees than you've ever seen before.”

“Anyone else feels like that came out vaguely threatening?” Hyrule pondered.

“Vaguely?” Legend snarked, prompting Twilight to facepalm.

Wild apparently heard nothing but the silence Four was shoving his way. His voice hiked up in pitch. “Armor? I've got more sets of armors than I know what to do with them? Ancient Sheika armor? It's super mechanical, you like mechanisms, right?”

Four raised an eyebrow. “I like understanding how they work. Can you imagine me wearing your stuff? I would have trouble moving.”

“My recipe book?” Wild tried again, desperation creeping in his voice. “It's not written yet, but I can do that. Four, please?”

Twilight gasped. Hyrule's stomach loudly growled. And the rest nodded sagely. Wild truly was pulling out all the stops to get his hands on that cane, besides outright theft (which none of them were exactly strangers to).

“… No.”

The fingers let go of his shoulders, now aching from the grip.

“I thought we were brothers,” Wild whispered, leaning against Twilight for support. “Backstabbed like nothing.”

“I do actually need that item, you know?” Four replied, halfway between amused and annoyed.

"Alright, boys, no fighting," Time announced, his mouth struggling not to stretch into a smirk, "and new strategy. If we run into a guardian, we let Four handle it. All in favor?"

The surge of agreement ranged from 'mildly sorry' (Sky) to 'gleeful' (Legend, of course, and Wild).

"Oh come on!"

BONUS:

The eight Links stared at the Guardian stumbling over the fields of Wild's Hyrule whilst Twilight mimed around like a drunk puppeteer. Wind's pictograph was out and flashing the moment the herd of bokoblins shrieked in panic and fled for their lives from the clearly malfunctioning monstrosity. Wild's Sheika Slate had been given to Hyrule for the task of recording the moments whilst he mourned yet another way the Goddesses had seen fit not to help him fight off Guardians.

“Anyone else feels a little sorry for them?” Sky asked, scratching his head as the camp was bulldozed through.

“Not as such, no,” Hyrule replied without skipping a beat. He might also have a few bruises on his shoulder from their last encounter.

“How do you laser with this thing?” Twilight grumbled, face scrunched up in concentration.

“Pfft, it had to be the bumpkins that gets the power to control ancient automatons,” Legend snarked, his hat still fuming from where he had dodged the Guardian's first beam.

In the distance, the bokoblins suddenly exploded.

“Ah, unbridled rage,” Twilight deadpanned. “That'll do.”

The Links carefully took a step back. And didn't get closer until Twilight had driven the Guardian off a cliff. You never knew with the quiet ones. The second the possession was over, however, Wild broke through the ranks with a determined look, opened his mouth-

And Twilight beat him to the punch. “Your recipe book.”

“Deal.”

“YES!”

“Wait,” Four called, narrowly avoiding the death glare Wild sent him, “are you sure you won't need it when this is over.”

Twilight shrugged. “I mean, I've used it all of once after I finished the dungeon with it? My Hyrule's not exactly big on statues and contraptions to magically possess. Good food though? Not like I'll ever stop having to need that.”

“Spoken like a true bumpkin.”

Poor Legend never saw Wild leap through the air with the righteous fury of an avenging angel to defend the honor of his mentor, the best man he ever met and the soon-to-be recipient of a great deal of cakes.

NOTE:

The thought process went like this:

Tumblr post noting that Guardians look like an ancient pottery art from thousands of years ago. TLDR: The Guardians are Elder Pots awakened to take revenge on all the Links for their fallen brethren.

Guardians can't touch Link if he climbs on their head.

Minish Cap includes an item that flips pots over (to open minish gates, but shh, who cares?)

Ergo, Four can one-shot guardians.

Twilight's just there, because I took pity on Wild and the Dominion Rod is absolutely useless after its dungeon. Not like Twilight would miss it.

#Linked Universe #Linkeduniverse #Fun with magic items #RO:ART

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