#like you have the elements right there!

[the-wizards-fandom-library]

I’m surprised there’s no AU based on this since…well, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has some similarities.

William Afton

Wears purple

Runs a corporation that is catered to children

Killed kids and mangled their bodies in furry robot suits.

Fucker will not die no matter what (supernatural)

Has been simped after in their community.

Willy Wonka

Wears purple (okay, so technically the Johnny Depp one didn’t but he did have purple accents)

Runs a corporation that is also catered to children.

Severely fucked up children to the point where they have supernaturally damaging bodily harm that would probably kill them or they would have been killed in the fucking factory.

Is implied by some to be supernatural due to his outrageous factory.

Has been simped after in their community.

My conclusion: Why isn’t there an Au of Charlie and the chocolate factory where it’s basically Fnaf and Willy Wonka is just William Afton but, a much smarter business man with a multi million dollar corporation.

[yuurionviktor]

Back to my meme redraws

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.

Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince

NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE

That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.

Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~

Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:

~

Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.

Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.

But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.

All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.

Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.

As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.

Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.

"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."

Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.

But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"

So this was the famous Arabeth.

"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."

The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.

He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.

"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.

"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"

And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.

It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?

Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"

She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"

"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"

"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"

"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."

"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.

"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"

Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.

Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."

"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.

Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?

But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.

It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.

By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.

"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.

"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."

"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.

"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"

Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.

Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.

She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"

"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."

She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"

"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.

"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"

This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.

You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."

But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."

She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"

"No! I'm marrying the prince!"

Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.

"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."

Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."

Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."

"Dad don't-"

"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.

He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."

"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."

"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."

"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"

"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.

He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.

Now all he had to do was ask.

[personshapedsplder]

I'm obsessed w the intimacy implied in sharing a body. John is literally his eyes, he's inside his skin, you just can't get more intimate (and codependent) than that. I'm also obsessed w the ways their relationship, by necessity and by choice, is not strictly platonic or romantic. They're not dating, they're not strictly friends, they're just wrapped around each other like parasitic vines and they don't know where one ends and the other begins. And I'm super normal too btw.

[psqqa]

okay but if we’re going to go with theatre major phoenix we need to go full fucking theatre major phoenix

like he shows up in germany the first time like “if there’s time for it i’d love to catch a show while i’m here, germany has such a vibrant theatre scene”.

and edgeworth's like “absolutely we can make that happen, i believe there’s a major schiller production running at the moment and it should have english surtitles”.

and phoenix is like “oh yeah no i’m sure it’s really solid but actually there’s a shakespeare production i’m interested in”.

edgeworth is like “okay odd choice for someone supposedly interested in the german theatre scene, but yeah who can say no to shakespeare". but they get there and it turns out it's this like peak weird experimental avant-garde german theatre production of coriolanus that’s set in a bdsm club. for like four hours edgeworth keeps looking over at phoenix like “what in the actual fuck is happening right now right now” but no matter what is happening onstage, phoenix just keeps watching it intently, finger pressed to his lips, the same pensive furrow to his brow that he gets in court when listening to testimony.

but afterwards when they're sipping their after-show aftercare tea in the lobby phoenix is waving his arms all over the place as he's like “SUCH an effective use of consent! the way they just continually wove it into everything. the almost brechtian emersion it created. the way it laid bare the underlying themes around consent of the governed. and then tying that in with the obvious angle of the performative masculinity of militarism and an audience that demands to be played to, and drawing the comparison between that and both bdsm AND theatre itself. an obvious comparison of course, but SO well done! just wow!"

and edgeworth who still hasn't quite managed to process anything beyond that first moment when coriolanus walked onstage in full leather daddy get-up and has a white-knuckled death grip on the after-show aftercare blanket wrapped around his shoulders just nods weakly and croaks out a vague “i'm glad you enjoyed it”

like he's gotta be into weird and experimental theatre. he can't have been a theatre major and NOT be into weird and experimental theatre. sure he'll go see the schiller production and enjoy it, but bdsm coriolanus is what gets his Theatre Kid blood pumping, y'know.

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

[tangledinink]

Out of curiosity, do you think your Gemini fan kids could exist in the shows canon universe? Marsh and Lake are seriously so adorable I’ve low key accepted as Donnie’s kids in the shows future canon. Also how does the krang apocalypse play out in the Gemini AU? Is it prevented or is there maybe Gemini bad timeline?

Gosh, I dunno-- I guess I don't see why not! :3c I hadn't ever thought about it too much, but there really isn't a ton of reason that they couldn't, assuming Donnie and Sorrel still meet!

Also, there are Kraang in the Gemiverse! I haven't exactly sorted out all the details yet, but what I do know is that there's no good future/bad future... there's just one timeline! The Kraang do invade and Gems and Co. do kick it in the Apocalyptic Warzone for a while... but the whole fam survives and they do eventually win the war!!! (because anything else made me too sad ; w ; and I realized at some point that it's my au so i can just do whatever I want :D yay)

[the-meme-monarch]

ok sorry i didn’t go insane over emesis blue like i thought I would but it is making me scared irl now. i can’t turn over in bed bc what if there’s a severed head positioned like it’s peaking around the doorframe. what if i look over and The Butcher is there

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting so fucking tired of people using the fact that there's a queer romance in something as a reason you should watch it. like haven't allos had enough of romance? queer or otherwise? I'm not saying queer representation is bad, of course, I'm just fed up with asking what a book is about and in response all I get is "oh it has queer people in it" cool! what is it about? having queer representation is not the be all end all of media can we please have ONE thing without romance in it. please.

.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

it does something incomprehensible to my little writer’s soul whenever alex articulates a phenomenon of the writing process i’ve always picked up on and then goes on to describe it in exactly the same way

[batsplat]

Valencia 2013: Marc Marquez is asked about his best victory that year as well as about Valentino Rossi's season

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

[infizero]

listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence 

[roguetelepaths]

...so guess who's rewatching star trek discovery

[cometblaster2070]

you know something that was never addressed in both ever after high and monster high; something that has bugged me for a very long time:

Cupid

cupid is something and someone who has never been properly addressed in both of the shows and worlds she is part of.

who is chariclo arganthone cupid?

she’s the adopted daughter of eros, yes, but what exactly does that even mean?

her adopted father is literally the primordial force of procreation.

was she a mortal? a demigod? was she turned into a god by eros? was she already a god? who abandoned her? how did she even come to be adopted by eros?

cupid is something of a goddess; yet she attended high schools in two different world that no one is supposed to even know about.

cupid has unthinkable power.

she can literally control the way people feel.

she’s also a bone elemental, and while im honestly not exactly too sure about what that means, it sounds horrifying in the sense that she can probably control bones.

cupid is an enigmatic figure with endless power and everyone should be rightfully terrified of her.