#like??? That's like saying “My Astarion never fucked dudes”

[spookieloop]

You know, it's kind of baffling to me when people insist that THEIR Durge would never have so much as liked Gortash, romantically or otherwise.

Even without the new lines, The Prayer for Forgiveness has always been there, proving that, at the very least, The Dark Urge admired Gortash so much that it caused a crisis of faith.

A crisis of faith in Bhaal's own child literally carved from his gore, made specifically to be Bhaal's perfect child.

This has all been said before, but The Dark Urge is an ORIGIN character (and being able to change their appearance makes SENSE, when you consider the propensity of shapeshifters in Bhaalist lore. Literally the form you choose for Durge is just the form Bhaal chose).

Claiming "My Durge would have never liked Gortash" is like saying "My Gale never liked Mystra," or "My Wyll would have never signed a contract with Mizora," or even "My Karlach would have never worked for Gortash."

Maybe your TAV wouldn't have ever done those things, but Origin characters have solidified backstories. Even if your Durge is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT person post-tadpole, the facts of who they were BEFORE the events of the game are as in-game factual as Gale's past relationship with Mystra, Wyll's contract with Mizora, or Lae'zel's upbringing with the Gith.

If you want to headcanon something else for your playthrough, cool, but insisting that events that are CANON cannot be interpreted in a way that you don't enjoy doesn't make sense.

[theygender]

Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔

*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)

[avocado-writing]

If requests are still open, could you do how the gentlemen companions + the tiefling bachelors would react to their small, usually very sweet and timid, s/o catching them off guard by flipping a switch and displaying very bold and dominant behavior towards them? Could be nsfw or sfw. Up to you!

Love your work so much, sending you all of the best! 🧡

under a cut bc nsfw >:) minors dni

Astarion

he’s doing his thing, kissing up your neck, thrusting his clothed cock along the crease between your thigh and your sex

muttering sweet filth into your ear, reaches out to lick the line of your jaw —

suddenly a switch flips, you grab his shoulders and then he’s beneath you

“is this okay?” you ask, breathily, running your teeth up the length of his neck, nipping where his pulse would be

he’s immediately harder than he’s ever been in his life.

becomes rather quiet as you fuck him, not relying on his usual dirty talk, in fact all he can do is moan and hang onto you

he cums so hard he goes lightheaded

“my heart… that was… something…”

you giggle and bury your face, suddenly shy again, but up for a repeat performance…

Gale

this man loves to be dommed. prove me wrong.

when you start being more dominant, he is thrilled.

lots of moans and whines to let you know how much he’s enjoying it, how well you’re doing

encourages you to bite and scratch. he wants evidence of this, of you.

he lies back and you ride him, pressing your fingers into his mouth for him to suck, and he’s never been more pleased lol

you like cuddly aftercare, checking in that he’s alright, and he lets you know at great length how much he enjoyed the experience

you catch him admiring his bruises and lovebites in the mirror later, proud 😌

Wyll

as we know our lovely lad wants to wait until marriage, so if we’re imagining this scenario mid-adventure…

maybe he watches in awe as you put Mizora in her place, giving her a real dressing down, telling her to leave Wyll alone

he’s never seen this side of you, so vicious… and for him… it makes him feel things.

when she leaves you turn around and give him the most ferocious kiss, possessive

maybe you grab his arse a bit too…

when the two of you separate, breathless, you mumble a little “I just don’t like her talking to you like that…”

he smiles and feels his face grow hot at your behaviour and realises how much he likes it 😏

Halsin

halsin is a big dude. if you’re smaller than him and suddenly you’re dominant? he’s surprised for sure.

he’s kissing you with your back up against a tree, you’re getting really into it, and suddenly your grab him by the hips and flip your position

his eyes go wide but he finds himself moaning into your kiss

it’s all rough. the bark is rough against him, your lips are rough against his, and suddenly your hands are all over him

touching his chest, running across his stomach, reaching down to cup his cock …

suddenly he realises how hard he is. genuinely, he’s throbbing in his trousers.

as you rub and kiss him harder he thinks he might be in danger of coming in his trousers like a pent-up, much younger man

yet as he feels your touch, he welcomes it. you make him release with a whimper.

he is so utterly enchanted by you. you never cease to amaze him.

Dammon

oh, Dammon. strong arms and strong heart, used to being the more dominant one when you’re together. thinks that you expect it from him?

then one day you steal into his forge with a wicked look on your face…

you shut the door and lock it behind you. he takes off his gloves and turns to you to ask what’s the matter, but is swept up by your fierce kiss

when you stop to your knees he feels his face go scarlet.

says you don’t have to, but absolutely melts under your touch when you unlace his trousers and take his cock in your hand

oh, he’s speechless when your mouth is on him.

you give him mind blowing head in front of his forge, fire both at his back and from your lips.

he comes embarrassingly quickly.

you swallow - swallow! - give him a quick kiss, and leave with a saunter 😈

Rolan

pretends he’s expecting this. is a bratty sub lol

but as soon as your mouth comes into play he just melts.

you bite his nipples, nip down his torso, and take him so deep into your throat that he mewls underneath you.

if you’re in his tower? lay him out on his archwizard’s desk and ride him until he’s totally lost the power of speech. all he can manage is a desperate mantra of “please, oh gods please…”

he’ll do anything for you in that moment. makes promises of his devotion, his love, please just let him cum…

when he’s boneless and sweaty he begins to get very embarrassed, he worries that you might think less of him for being so needy

but you just cuddle him and kiss him all over his face. when you call him a good boy he thinks he might just explode.

Zevlor

Zevlor is a switch because he’s a grown-ass man.

happy when either of you are dominant if that’s the mood your lovemaking takes, but does love it when you’re on top.

you pin him down, pressing his shoulders into the mattress and working his cock inside of you

his hands settle on your hips and he begins to chant your name like a prayer.

fucking him feels like an act of worship. your body is his altar at which to offer prayer. he looks up at you from the flat of his back and knows he has been blessed with you.

“do you love me, Zevlor?” “with every inch of my heart.”

[sigcorp]

bg3 characters as retail managers in my boyfriend's* educated opinion

(*he refuses to post this so i'm doing it for him)

wyll - i think wyll would be a really chill manager, he'd let you goof off sometimes But after a while he'd still make you go do something productive. probably would have some random assignment like dusting the fucking lights or something if there's nothing to do but he's not too strict.

would get mad at a customer once and you'd be thankful you never have faced his fury (he'd never get that mean with you though)

basically the "haha yeah okay okay guys seriously go zone we can't all be standing here you're gonna get me in trouble" type of manager

lae'zel - insane workaholic. you'd dread working with her and she'd make your shift exhausting, but you also can't deny the place would go to shit without her because she's so on top of things.

you'd feel immense joy having her come up for a stupid item return that is against policy because she would absolutely never bend for it no matter how bitchy the customer got. not because she cares about you really but she'd be damned to go against policy for literally anything

karlach - literally so chill that you forget she's a manager until she has to call you to her office which freaks you out because you know you've been extremely lax around her and you forgot she actually has to do shit about that but it's actually just to give you your next raise. you love her and she loves you

shadowheart - when you first work with her you find her insanely intimidating and a little bitchy but after a few shifts you kind of get Why she's like that. wouldn't be a favorite manager but you'd probably sympathize with why she buys wine after her shift every night. if you're lucky enough to hang with her out of work you get special privileges (as in she doesn't scold you for standing still for 3 minutes like she does the others)

gale - nice, but unlike wyll who has a balance between pleasant chats and doing work, gale will literally stand there and accidentally force you to actually stop focusing on what you're working on to have a conversation with him. that can be a good thing, but then you're behind and another manager gets grumpy about it. chill guy but you never actually see him do much for his job. how did he even get to this position???

astarion - call HR.

halsin - dude knows how to run a place. he schedules everyone perfectly and there's always a feeling of harmony as you work together to get projects done. he's friendly but focused. he doesn't care if you don't finish your projects he assigns you so long as you were trying your best, but he would be a little disappointed if it happened too often

i feel like he'd definitely be the manager who actually gives the customer whatever they want even if you said you couldn't though 💀 he wouldn't be mad at you for saying no but he'd make you look like a jackass to the customer

minthara - i actually don't know her so idk but from what i gather i would say also call HR

withers - he's been with this company so long that he knows where literally everything is and every single specific policy and how to solve everything. he doesn't talk much and he doesn't really tell you what to do, he expects you to figure it out and leave him alone unless you need to ask where the most obscure item of all time is to help a customer. genuine lifesaver in those circumstances though

jaheira - the mom manager. checks on you when she notices you're clearly not feeling well. will cover any shift without complaints. you feel safe with her. she handles any difficult task because she doesn't feel like explaining to you how to do it, which is nice but as soon as you have no choice but to do it on your own you don't know how

[bg3-bitching]

"You're just bitter no one is talking about your fav."

Yeah, cuz Astarion fans won't. Let. Us.

Like, I'm on tiktok. The "Me but with Astarion" "But Astarion" "I only romance Astarion" "Oh, this is cute but I can't leave Astarion!" "Astarion loves this that the other thing" "This is so Astarion coded"

I'm shocked I haven't seen comments on random recipes that are just "Oh gosh, Astarion would've loved this potatoe soup when he was alive...now food tastes like ash in his mouth 🥺"

Then feed him an ashtray and Let Us Live.

AND WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT ANY OTHER CHARACTER THEY DERAIL YOU TO TALK ABOUT HIM!!!

Like FUCK man there's already minimal fan works for anyone besides him, you're gonna jump on my non-Ass post and make it about your fave white boy?

Listen, fandom is supposed to be collaborative. Everyone should be able to jump in and have a good time. However, there's "collaborative" and then there's "every conversation involving this piece of media MUST include the fandom's fave or else I will MAKE IT about him".

Also, they never actually collaborate. They center the focus on Ass instead of the character you were talking about. THEN when you ask them to interact with literally anything else and not make it about him, when you ask them to actually collaborate with the media they claim to be a fan of, suddenly they don't wanna talk anymore.

I have seen MULTIPLE people start BG3 and go for Ass first, only to then go "wait this dude is nothing like you said he was". Nasties are always like "he warms up to you :)", yeah because he wants you as his shield. Sure he has the potential to actually care for you, but if you just believe everything he says he never actually develops feelings for you.

They worst part is most of the time this reaction is from people who are black. They get told how great Ass is, only to meet a white man that threatens and harasses you from the get go. The cherry on top is I've also seen a few start the game not even knowing Wyll was an option. Wyll is discussed and appreciated so little they didn't even know there was a black companion.

I cannot imagine how that must feel, to have the fandom say "this evil white guy who is cruel to you is the only companion worth your time, he's more appealing than the literal Prince Charming companion who's black".

Something something "whiteness is seen as inherently attractive, innocent, and valuable" something something "blackness is seen as unattractive, corrupt, and disposable"

[amoebab22]

I feel like Wyll could be a really good comfort character for people, like Astarion, because OH BOY, can I tell you what emotional neglect from a parent does to a person.

Wyll: Oh yeah I sacrificed myself to save a city I was for some fucking reason left in charge of at 17 because my dad has never heard of a childhood and refuses to learn.

Me: I'm sorry what?

Wyll: Anyway he then disowned me and I've dedicated the last 7 years to saving other people because I have no concept of self outside of what I provide for others.

Me:....this hits way too close to home, I'm out. Nope. This is my own childhood reflected back at me please help.

Duke Ravenguard: my son! You're home, how I've longed to see you!

Wyll: oh that's clearly not my dad, he's been tadpoled, my dad would never say that

Me: *taking Wyll aside* Wyll do you want me to kill your dad? I'll kill you dad. Halsin can be your dad now. Fuck dude, I'll be your dad. I'm proud of you, son. You're a wonderful person.

Duke Ravenguard after we saved his goddamn life in an exploding underwater prison and he realizes he's been wrong about Wyll this whole time: this changes nothing. I owe you nothing.

Me: *takes Wyll aside* look man, I saved your dad to improve political stability after we kill Gortash and the Elder Brain but bro, I'm still open to killing your dad. Do you want to beat your dad with a baseball bat? That's totally legitimate and I support you. Do you need like 3 million hugs? Should we all form a cuddle pile with you at the center? Your dad is a dick. Your dad is the Wulbren of your story my dude. You are the Barcus here. Did he even hug you? I'm hugging you, you need a hug.

LET ME GIVE WYLL A HUG. LET ME HEAL HIS INNER CHILD. LET ME PUSH DUKE RAVENGUARD OFF A SMALL CLIFF I'M NOT GONNA KILL HIM I JUST WANNA TALK OKAY??

Also let Halsin be his new dad. Halsin is your dad now, Wyll. He's proud of you and wants to go play catch.

[eff-plays]

How do you feel about Wyll's views on his father not changing at all? I felt kinda weird listening to Wyll literally tell his dad "there's nothing to forgive" like he was apologizing for casting out his teenaged son and Wyll's like NAh. He feels the same about that whole situation as he did at the start of the game, I think I would've preferred some sort of change or development? not even something big but denying his fathers apology feels weird, even "I understand and respect why he did it but I wish he just listened instead of assuming I had anything but good intentions" ?? Like he was 17 when he made a deal with a devil to save the city, and he did!!!! But maybe that's just cause I'm mad that Ulders first words after being saved are shitting on Tav for his son being a demon lmaoooo

what are your thoughts on it if you have any xoxo

I have thots, but disclaimers upfront because I will be talking out of my ass for most of this:

All the D&D I've played have been in entirely homebrew worlds, because most of my friends are also writers or at least worldbuilders. So I have no previous experience with the Forgotten Realms or its canon, i.e. I had no idea who Ulder Ravengard was and why Wyll being his son was a big deal, though I assumed he was someone very important.

I never actually um. Finished Act 3. Yeah, I uninstalled the game before I finished it lmao. I kept thinking "oh I'll come back to it once Larian have fixed it!" *looks into the camera like I'm on The Office* I finished Karlach, Astarion, and Wyll's quests, though I didn't start the Ansur part of it because it felt kinda random, and obviously I knew we wouldn't be getting a cool epic dragon for an ally, so I decided to leave that bit for later with the other bigger companion quests like Lae'zel's, Shart's, and Gale's. Jokes on me, right?

But I did save Ulder with Wyll, and did pick the one option to show via tadpole that Wyll is a good sweet boy. And I got the underwhelming "nothing to forgive" reunion. So I do know that part.

I played only like. An hour of early access. And then dropped it and uninstalled the game because it didn't grab me. I certainly didn't meet Wyll, and even if I had, I think it would've been post-rewrites.

Okay, now onto my actual thots. It's extremely long lmao I love yapping.

First of all, I think Ulder disowning Wyll could have actually worked quite well if they'd kept old Wyll, who I hear was kind of an obnoxious, arrogant dude. Like, if your teen son is a bit of a knob, and you're the most important nobleman/politician in an important city, then it "makes sense" to disown him as a disciplinary measure. You know he can take care of himself, you know he's capable of greatness, but he's a bit of a dickhead and needs to grow up. So tell him to leave and maybe in a few years he'll sort himself out. It's fucked up, but it's the sort of thing I can see a guy in this situation and in this world do.

BUT. Wyll isn't an arrogant and obnoxious dude. He's very mature, very kind, and always well-meaning. Nothing indicates this was different when he was a teen. So Ulder disowning him feels disproportionately cruel from the start, and it is, but it also feels like it comes out of nowhere and makes Ulder looks less like a strict parent and a politician doing what he thinks is the best out in a bad situation, and more like ... well, like a fucking asshole. Hence why it feels so fucking unfair and unfinished that Wyll just forgives him, or rather says there's nothing to forgive? It feels like Wyll constantly has to take on the role of the adult, of the emotionally mature one, of the one who is too good-hearted and understanding to ever feel anything negative, while his garbage dad gets to just be a douchebag towards his son without much cause or consequence.

Furthermore, we never get the sense that Ulder feels bad or regrets what he did, or that he's at least conflicted, even with his apology. It's just "Yeah I disowned my son. No I don't expect him to come back better in any way." And then he flips on a dime after a single conversation, so his decision to disown Wyll feels like it was easily undone and not of any consequence. Wyll forgiving him immediately feels just very unearned, and like the narrative itself frames Ulder's actions as understandable? (On that note, showing Ulder some tadpole visions to prove Wyll is good, I prommy, feels so cheap? Like y'all really did that, huh? And Ulder, who assumed the worst when his beloved son showed up in a warlock pact, would just take the vague visions of a stranger when his son looks like a saucy incubus? Ok.)

Now, if Larian had wanted to stick with this, I think it could've worked this way if Wyll was afforded any sort of emotional depth. Like, if Wyll said "there's nothing to forgive" initially, because he loves and deeply respects his father and thinks, logically, that what he did was right, so he tries to justify it to himself in order for that cruel act to make sense. But then he realizes that it still hurts, that it was unfair, that it was cruel, and that he can't forgive his dad, not this easily at least. That initial "nothing to forgive" would've worked excellently as a kneejerk reaction, a defense mechanism, and something for him to later retract when he realizes that "nothing to forgive" means "nothing you do would make me forgive you". That would've been juicy as FUCK.

If Larian had instead wanted to afford Ulder more depth and make us understand his actions (which they wanted to do with Wyll saying there's nothing to forgive, signalling to us that Ulder in some ways was justified), then they should've made Wyll a huge brat as a younger teen. If they'd done that, we as modern players would still find it a bit unfair, but a nobleman disowning his rowdy-ass son for taking an escapade a step to far, to teach him a lesson? That makes sense, doesn't it? It would've been a strict parent thing to do, but assuming Ulder knew his son would make it on his own, cutting him off from the privilege that's turning him into a dickhead would be a sensible course of action. If that's what happened, then it would've also made sense for Ulder to immediately get pissed off when he saw Wyll transformed, because he'd assume that his cringefail son didn't learn his lesson at all. AND it would've made sense for Wyll to say there's nothing to forgive: because he knows he used to be a huge fucking brat, and his Mizora thing would've just looked like another prank Youtuber oopsie to Ulder, who had no reason to believe otherwise.

Now, Larian did neither of these things, or rather, tried to do both without actually committing, because then it would make one of the two look "bad" (i.e. like a real flawed human being). That's why it ends up feeling incongruent and, say it with me now, unfinished. There is no logical progression to their actions, because, say it with me now, nobody bothered to give them consistent motivations or depth.

Here's the two plots laid out in order to illustrate what I think would be logical courses of actions for both characters, compared to what Larian actually did:

1

Wyll is a baby boy, baby > Ulder is a ruthless politician who's obsessed with his image > Wyll steps into dogshit (Mizora) and smells funny now, but can't explain where the smell is coming from > All the nobles are like "ew this stinks lmfao" > Ulder decides to disown his son for the sake of his power and image, justifying it to Wyll by saying it's what he owes to the people of Baldur's Gate > Wyll comes back, still baby boy, baby, but with horns now > Ulder is horrified about what this might do to his image again and tells him to fuck off > Tav shows him that Wyll is badass now and was always badass, stopped the cult of Tiamat etc > Ulder's politician brain fires up again and he realizes his son might be GOOD for his image, apologizes for disowning him > Wyll, still trying to tell himself his father did the right thing, says there's nothing to forgive > Realizes later that what Ulder did was fucked up and retracts his forgiveness > Ulder now has to figure out his priorities and relationship with his son while Wyll has asserted his autonomy and personhood.

2

Wyll is a known rich brat > Wyll steps into dogshit (Mizora) and smells funny now, but can't explain where the smell is coming from > Ulder is fucking tired of his son's dogshit shenanigans and disowns him for his own good > Wyll travels the world to become a cool hero dude, but gets turned into a devil so he looks bad > Ulder assumes his cringefail son is still cringefail > Realizes he's not cringefail anymore and apologizes for disowning him in that very vulnerable moment when he needed him most > Wyll says it's ok because he was indeed a massive brat who took it a step too far, and Ulder had no way of knowing his crying wolf was real this time > Flawed but happy family!!

3 (canon)

Wyll is a baby boy, baby > Wyll steps into dogshit (Mizora) and smells funny now, but can't explain where the smell is coming from > Ulder assumes his baby boy son did a prank youtuber oopsie and decides to disown his son for the sake of his power and image?? > Wyll comes back, still baby boy, but with horns now > Ulder assumes his baby boy son is cringefail??? > Tav shows him that Wyll is badass now and was always badass, stopped the cult of Tiamat etc > Ulder realizes only now that Wyll was never cringefail ?? and apologizes for disowning him because he actually loves him > Wyll says it's ok ?? > Everything is fine and back to normal, nobody did an oopsie and nothing changed.

Y'see what I mean???

And the thing is, given that I was able to piece together what they were going for and two entire potential angles that could've worked excellently, it's clear that there are bits of potential, little inklings of what could have been, but the writer just didn't bother exploring deeper at all? Like they had some ideas that they threw at the wall and then didn't rewrite or think about them at all. It feels like a first draft of a character's story, where you have some ideas but haven't figured out the overall structure or progression of events. Instead you just throw in everything you have and pretend that's a finished story and that the inconsistencies are just "depth" and "nuance", when in reality, you're just asking the player to fill in the gaps you couldn't be bothered with, and when they can't do that because it makes no damn sense, you just ignore them lol.

Um. Yeah. Those are my thots, lmao.

It's just unfinished. That's what it is. Straight up!!!

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Okay so this is prob a baldur's gate 3 spoiler so if you haven't # out that tag, then uh? Yes.

This is also obviously a rant.

So I'm on my 4th playthrough, and my take on the guardian/ emperor changed. Very. Fast. And not in a very nice way.

So the first time I was in love with my guardian, I was in a romance with Astarion, but holy shit I would give the world to my guardian, so yes u can imagine my fucking heartbreak of the moment I saw him, like I had to stop gaming cuz I felt so betrayed.

And then I obviously were just hurt and whatever but nice about it to him.

Then I decided I would actually romance him as my second character, mage dude, and well....

Things happened, and I got the same story he had like "Nobody knew who I was, I had so many friends" bleh bleh, and I remember feeling pretty like 🤨 when bone daddy- I mean Withers, said that mindflayers don't have souls like? Excuse you what about the emperor??

And I ofc slept with him, which u can do, and I obviously don't kink shame if you're into it, but i was not

I was hiding my face, peeking through my fingers, and then just regret everything ever.

And like? Romance was fine, and I didnt turn into a mindflayer at the end, cuz I was also dating Karlach and well... can't be a mindflayer then.

And the whole thing that HE was the founder of Baldur's gate? That HE IS him??? Honestly?

At that point I felt even more upset, and disgusted. Not only cuz of what he did, but just... him. And ugh. (I didn't do that quest the first time, cuz I didn't know)

Then come me as durge...

First of all... I've never loved a character more, maybe Gage from fallout 4, than my durge, a queen like wow💅🏻

And with her I was just done with the emperor, like... I expected him to be the same, ya know?

But no.

No.

He was NOT!!!! the same.

And this game have sent me on so many rollercoasters I wanna lie down and never get up

I feel so betrayed? So... stupid I feel so fucking stupid, cuz Withers SAYS mindflayers don't have souls?? And I????? Believe this tentacle monster????? Like wtf

And then only to learn that his "friends" were actually NOT???? But basically possessed to "hang out" with him?

And yeah he claims that he ate "only criminals" but how do we know??? If he lied about that? He probably ate other people too, he probably didn't even spiderman/batman himself around like he said/showed us he did.

As I played more and more durge I just felt disgusted and a fool, like?? I do talk, rant, to friends and yes even family, when I'm either yay obsessed about the game/character or to upset rant, and everybody knows about the beginning and end and on actually how much this hurt and I know its so stupid

But o m g I am so??? UGH

I hate him, like I fr fr fr hate him.

I'm playing as a Githyanki now, and I'll find out how that works out, but bruh.

Istg if I find out more shocking things, I will just nap for 3 days...

And I'm trying to stay as much gith as I can, but also how mellow my dude is, but yeah...

I fucking hope I don't have more to add to this, cuz that's gonna be in all capital letters istg

[leonsleftbicep]

i dont like random guys at least ten years older then me coming up to me to test if im a fan or not…

the description i put: based on an actual conversation i had with a guy at the reinfaire. it was so bad (bad in the way he brushed past the fact i said i liked the first two ep’s and then started talking about possible prior projects) that i slipped into my work voice. dude was flaunting his stupidity.

the full story is fucking goofy and full of me not wanting to talk to this man hold on

i was going to go walk somewhere (i think it was to go dance to the viking metal band playing) and some guy (who i now guessed his name was ryan because he looked like it) comes up to me to say he loved my vessel costume says hes been into the band a while and asked me “whats your favorite album?”. i answered tpwbyt because the one and two ep’s aren’t albums. he then asks me if i listened to the newest album, which yes i have.

(major factor in this conversation is that i didn’t start with my usual “ive been a fan for almost two years” like have every time someone starts to ask questions about the band)

he then lists off his favorite songs (all of are in tmbte). saying specifically “the summoning which everyone one loves the summoning” i straight up burst out with the most aggravated tone “the summoning is good, but everyone calls it baby making music. which haha no they are very very wrong. and it only got popular because of astarion”. as if that wasnt a dead give away as to how i feel about people that don’t do their research on the band. or even go read their wiki at least once.

he then asks me my favorite song, my favorite is distractions.

dude looks at me were my eyes would be in the mask and goes “ive never heard of it” and then says hes heard high water which is “like the last track” and then says ive heard mine and some other song.

at this point im a little tiffed about this because im having to deal with a guy and now his girlfriend who is just watching this.

then my voice completely changes and i go “yup its on there” i almost told him “its in their 2021 album, this place will become your tomb, its track 8 titled distractions”

then he asks “have you heard of [fandom know previous project]?” and i just go “uh huh i have” and just look at this man with a death glare full of please dont say the mans name.

he didn’t luckily but he did say he thinks because of one of the lyrics and i just go. “dude, hes just putting down the coordinates for you to find him”

and then he knew, i know way to much about the band.

and i didn’t fully see it but his girlfriend definitely looked like she knew he fucked up

this was also in front of both my siblings and my sisters husband who know me very well

[merilaurecus]

NPCs reactions to Modern!Tav from Earth coming back to Faerûn to visit

Dammon

Let's be honest, Karlach told him

Didn't expect you to show up at the forge tho

You may not have the closest bond but it's surely there so a hug is a must

You discuss your lives when he shows you around the forge

And stuff he made during the time of your absence

Lets you take that one dagger you kept looking at because he's a generous soul

You also discuss engine possibilities (you bring up heart surgery too to hear his professional opinion)

Beforehand you take food to bring him because this hardworking man sometimes forgets to do it

You spend a day there simply enjoying friendship you've made through the time you were in Faerûn and his tail kinda tells he missed you more than his shy ass allows himself to say

Rolan

Asshole wizard didn't know shit

You whoop your ass through Sorcerous Sundries only to be spotted by Cal and Lia

You immediately tell them NOT TO tell Rolan so you can take him by surprise

They immediately jump in to the game, given the kind of relationship they have, there will be a lot of laughter and discussions about the kind of face he'll make once he sees you

You get into the tower with another stealth mission

You spot him on one balcony with a book

Another Astarion would be proud moment

You place a hand on his shoulder

"My favourite wizard asshole!"

Just like with Dammon his tail tells more than he'd like you to know, but his face initially tells the truth too

Absolutely inhales everything you remembered Gale and Elminster did to get you back for a while

Amused, and after a short battle with himself he doesn't give a crap to show it (his sibling will keep embarrassing him with that for years)

He shows you around, you see everything's been put in order, Lorroakan truly was one messy fuck and truly did not know his alphabet

You get a show of spellcasting because come on this dude loves attention (and learning, to be fair)

Just like Gale he can help you with spellcasting (though some snarky comments are on his checklist; don't worry, Cal and Lia got your back)

Shows you around the store too, quite proud of it, just like anything he did because you saved his tail numerous times

Particular bookseller still doesn't like you for stealing the Annals, but can't say shit about it

You see the place has improved after he took over

You all get yourselves to the dinner after, because another tiefy boi can't go starving when there's studying ahead

With one room made up as living space you spend a night there

Zevlor

Ye olde Hellrider had no clue you were back

You knew he was at the temple, so you go there, fingers crossed you'll find him

Fortunately he's there with other Hellriders

Actually speechles you remembered about him

Hug time ™️ just to show him you never forgot him

Another tief, another tell-tail

Fatherly proud of you and your accomplishments, listens to the every detail of your post-Faerûn story

Tells you how he reclaimed his Oath and is back at being a paladin

You're proud in exchange (who wouldn't be, especially if it didn't involve paying gold to the Knight but actually doing something; that's the part of a paladin roleplay I hated in BG3, it should've been DnD way; yes, even if Oathbreaker Knight was 🥵)

You meet other Hellriders from Elturel, you didn't quite had the time to be properly introduced when there was a big brain to unalive

Clerics also remember you and what you did when there was a murder at their temple

You visit Father Lorgan's and Brilgor's graves to pay respects because that's the right thing to do

Actually happy to answer questions about being a paladin and a Hellrider (if you're curious little shit like me you would've asked)

If you were about to ask about the Descent but kept yourself from doing that he'll probably catch it (he's got experience mkay) and even if it's not the easiest story he'll tell you

Also shows you around because this place is kind of home to him

May even train with you, for the sake of old times and also for himself (to keep his physical condition in good state). If you've forgotten something or simply are not in the shape anymore he will go easy with you

And thus, the last night is spent at the temple

[transquad]

Illithid Tav — romance epilogues

EDIT: This has only partially been updated with the Patch 5 party stuff and has nothing from any patch after that, I'll get around to it ... Someday

I am obsessed with the concept of a protagonist sacrificing their humanity for the greater good. That's why the free Orpheus + illithid player ending made me so fucking happy, up until Astarion decided to dump my ass in the last five seconds of the game, because he can't handle a few tentacles or whatever. It made me realize that as much as I like him, I really don't like his romance. It's just so much giving and so little receiving. I think my character deserves someone who can actually offer him a little love and support and reassurance every once in a while. Including (especially!) after he transforms into a squid man.

So I wanted to go into my second playthrough knowing which of these sluts would still love me if I was a worm.

Unfortunately I have not been able to actually find many variants of these scenes on Youtube. But from what I could find, this is how the epilogue scenes with romanced companions play out if the player character becomes a mind flayer:

• Astarion dumps you. Good Astarion says he is open to the idea of getting back together someday but he needs a break to process things. (Exactly what's going on in his head here is anyone's guess.) Evil Astarion thinks you're icky now and only wants you as a powerful ally.

PATCH 5 EDIT: Despite having six months to come to his senses, at the party Good Astarion seems pretty disinterested in getting back together with Tavflayer, something I'm never going to forgive him for.

• (Crownless) Gale fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. He asks you to marry him. He even says he will find a caterer who does brains for your wedding. It's incredibly sweet.

• Halsin fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. You are invited to his anprim commune with the caveat that he will need to introduce you to his followers carefully, for both your safety and their mental health.

• (Good) Shadowheart fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. She wants to take some time to go on a quest to find herself / spend time with her parents, but you're welcome to go with her in disguise.

• Wyll certainly acts like he accepts you, but he basically makes you his secret attic wife in the name of protecting you, which is pretty fucked up, dude. Halsin & Shadowheart are also very concerned about your safety and have the same impulse to hide you away, but it's easy enough to convince them that you'll be fine. Not Wyll, apparently. (What the hell, man?)

EDIT: If you don't get this dialogue because one or both of you go to Avernus with Karlach, then he is normal about everything at the party.

• I don't think Karlach gets a normal epilogue scene if she isn't a mind flayer. No clue what changes in the dialogue that she does have if you're the mind flayer.

• I don't think Lae'zel gets a normal epilogue scene if she returns to the Astral plane, which I believe she always does if you're a mind flayer. Yeah, she dumps you even after you sacrifice yourself for Orpheus. Sad! However. I saw someone say in a Youtube comment that if you are (were) also githyanki then you can go with her, even if you're a mind flayer now. So if that's accurate, I guess that's the exception?

• EDIT: Good news! Minthara is also a squid fucker.

Glaringly, none of these scenes acknowledge that Disguise Self is a spell that exists, and it's unclear how different they would be if they did.

If you know something I don't know, especially if you have proof in screenshots or videos, please let me know so I can update these notes. I have become very invested in finding out which of these clowns are squid fuckers.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 40 - Mirror, Mirror

Astarion goes fishing (and not for fish).

On AO3.

Y’all coulda made it back by nightfall, now that y’all know where you’re going. But both Wyll and Gale agree that arriving after a whole day of hiking is a bad strategy (to the disappointment of Karlach and the disgust of Lae’zel). So y’all stop about an hour away—close enough y’all can be rested when you get there, but not so close a patrol might trip over somebody’s tent.

Gale has a spare canvas, nobody has spare poles or stakes; Karlach solves that problem by sauntering to the edge of the trees and ripping three saplings out of the ground to whittle into poles with that bigass ax.

She drives them into the ground and does not use a hammer.

You ain’t the only one watching this with a little too much interest.

big lady your brain chants.

She carries a regular pack, from which she pulls out a blanket that smells vaguely like vasoline, and a raggedy teddy bear she introduces as Clive. The bear is singed around the edges, and seems nearly shellacked in the not-vasoline stuff on the blanket. Some kinda fire-resistant salve she says.

She’s careful not to touch nobody, or even get too close. You watch this, lips pressed tight, chest hurting for her.

Dinner is, once again, bread and cheese and wine. No fire so close to the tollhouse. Karlach strikes up a conversation with Lae’zel about the best way to twist somebody’s head off, while Shadowheart watches over the rim of her goblet.

Gale, without much to do in the way of a cook fire, plops down outside his tent with a book, several scrolls, and an ink pot to start scratching away. Meanwhile, Wyll volunteers to go on patrol—make sure y’all really are out of fake paladin range—and set up some snares. You can’t tell if he’s upset with y’all’s decision to let Karlach join, or if he don’t like her around, or if it’s some secret third thing that’s got him so tense. He’s seemed like a real good dude—though everybody has shit takes on something.

The sun sinks low and the light goes gray as evening deepens. Lae’zel actually takes a night off from breaking your ass (either distracted by Karlach, or deciding that leaving you like, rested, increases your chances of not fucking anything up tomorrow).

Which leaves you just…hanging out. For the first time, you have the mental and physical energy to stay awake, but you have no phone, no internet, no books or movies or anything to fiddle with. Maybe you could work on that strip of linen Astarion “gifted” you. But then he’d see you doing it and start shit and besides, you got no clue how to sew.

You’re so busy trying to think up a way to be busy, that you notice the man skulk out of his tent. He’s got something shiny in his hand. He’s positioned his tent slightly facing away from the fire, tonight, which leaves it facing your tent more than usual. He’s not, like, hiding, but he’s not out in the open as he holds up what you realize is a mirror.

Huh. Lots of different cultures have vampire lore; you wonder if the mirror thing is accurate. You got nothing better to do, so you find yourself trailing over, coming up behind him.

“Looking at something?” he says. It’s addressed to you, even though he hasn’t glanced over.

“Saw me coming?” you say.

He stares a moment longer, before turning. There’s no sparkle to his eyes, tonight. His lips are a straight line. “The only benefit to a mirror when you have my condition. It doesn’t make up for a lack of reflection, mind you.”

Ah. That part of the lore is true, then. Ouch.

“Sorry to hear that,” you say. “You must miss it.”

And then you want to kick yourself over how stupid that sounds.

“Preening into the looking glass? Petty vanity?” he says all flamboyant. Until he deflates. Until you see what might be a flash of sadness in him. “Of course I miss it. I’ve never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red.”

You didn’t know about the eye color thing. None of the others are anywhere nearby; you wonder if that’s why he’s letting this show. He’s never made so much as a peep that wasn’t joke-flirting, complaining, stabby, or bored.

“What color were they before?” you say. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“I—” he starts. Blinks a few times and there’s the barest shiver of, dare you call it, vulnerability in his face. “I don’t know. I can’t…remember.”

He stares out at nothing for a pause. Don’t got the presence of mind to slip the smarmy mask back on. It’s like he…like he just realized that. Doesn’t remember his own eyes.

Then his face shutters. Tight-lipped anger slips down and buries all traces of confused horror. He chucks the mirror to smash on the ground.

You try not to wince even as you take a step back.

“My face is just another dark shape in my past,” he says. Looks away. “Another thing I’ve lost.”

You can forget some details about your own face, sometimes. You don’t generally wear makeup (never learned, and then when you could, that shit is expensive), and your hair mostly sorts itself out when you comb conditioner through it in the shower. So you don’t see your reflection every day (the ladies room at the office don’t have a mirror—used to be a closet until the seventies or eighties when they converted it).

But you know your eyes are dark brown the way you know your own name. It’s just a fact about you. You can’t imagine what it would take to just…lose that.

“How long you been a vampire?” you say.

His gaze flits around a second. “About two hundred years, give or take. Things start to run together a little.”

Two…two hundred years? Under that fuckface? Without ever being able to see himself?

Holy fucking shit.

Holy fucking shit.

And yet, he’s standing here, traveling with all y’all, acting…well, not normal. But he ain’t catatonic. He’s only killed people when y’all were fighting already, and he only tried to bite you the once (without asking). He’s talking to you, and he makes jokes and…

And he said you were his first “thinking creature” blood.

In two hundred fucking years.

The kind of strength it would take to scrape himself together and hold in there…even if it was barely. Even if he wasn’t all there. You’d known that shit for over a decade. But two hundred motherfucking years.

You been staring. He notices, and turns to you. “What?”

The man teases you. Steals from goddamn refugees (he has got to stop that). And he hasn’t seen his face in two centuries. You can maybe afford to make a fool of yourself if the idea blooming in your brain makes a fool outta yourself.

“I can be your mirror,” you say, your neck heating up, trying not to squirm. “You don’t have to. Or I don’t have to. If I made this weird, that is. I can, uh, leave.”

His eyebrows twitch down into a micro frown. He stands there a hot second, sucks in a breath through his nose. His mask is slipping again, and the man underneath…

“I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me,” he says. “What, well, what you see.”

Slight emphasis on the “you” that you ain’t gonna read too much into.

A long face. Thick brows. A strong, straight nose. Thick lips, pointy chin, and floofy, white hair.

You ain’t never really described somebody in detail. Not like this, and not to their face directly. You ain’t a poet or an artist. This was probably a really bad idea.

“Your face is very, uh, symmetrical,” you say.

He pauses a moment, before drawing back. “Oh darling, you’re terrible at this.”

Fuck you, too!

“Well, I mean, it’s the most noticeable thing aside from the granny hair.”

And now he fucking recoils.

“What? I have the best hair in camp. If this is your idea of a joke—”

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m kidding,” you say. It’s only kinda a lie. It’s granny hair, no two ways about it. “Your hair is very shiny and it looks real soft. The rest of you” —you wave your hand vaguely around— “looks good.”

“Really?” His usual smirk slips back on and he damn near purrs. Then he lifts his hands and gives a slow, little runway spin. “Anything in particular?”

Jesus lord. Man’s moods turn on a fucking dime and he cannot stop being a prima diva.

You think. What would you want to know about your own face? You got no idea how elves age or how old he was when he got bit. He looks young, in the dim light, but there’s an age to him, a smattering of fine lines at the corners of his eyes that you started noticing on yourself recently. You ain’t gonna mention how gaunt his cheeks are, even if they do make the bones stand out all high fashion or whatever. It ain’t a healthy look (any time anybody mentions native cheekbones, you have to bite back the little historical fact that a lot of those photos was of starving natives, of course their cheekbones stood out like that, their food sources were butchered, burned, or a thousand miles away after a forced march).

You’re gonna ask in the morning if Wyll can bring back what his snares catch before he field-dresses them, and ask Astarion if he wants the blood. Man needs to eat more often. Put some goddamn flesh on them bones (oh god, you sound like your aunties).

“You got these eye creases when you smile,” you say.

But he does not take that as the compliment you mean.

“Excuse me?” he says like you just called his mama ugly. “I’m an eternally young vampire, forever beautiful.”

Forever corpse-y.

“It’s a good thing.”

“It sounds an awful lot, my dear, like you just called me old.”

“You just said you was at least two hundred.”

He gestures down to himself. “Vampire. Come on, darling, you can do better than this sorry excuse.”

And then the man has the audacity to fucking pose. Hand on his hip. Shoulders swaying like some old-timey, rich debutante.

“This whole thing is just you fishing for compliments, huh?” you say.

He looks at you like you’re the weird one. “Well of course it is. Now don’t leave me waiting.”

You ain’t sure if this entire cluster started as a sham, or if it just naturally devolved into one (he’s very good at the latter). His frustration had seemed genuine, though. He wouldn’t meet your gaze for a time. And you’re picking up on a pattern: obfuscation. He gets all fussy and theatric right around the time you notice (or he notices, maybe) he’s expressing something that ain’t flirt or murder.

You…kinda want to see what he’s trying to hide. What’s actually under that mask you caught a glimpse of.

In any case, it’s funner to play along right now, so you don’t got to think about the bullshit waiting tomorrow.

What would a vain peacock like him want to hear?

“Your eyes,” you say. “They’re real sharp, especially when you’re focused on something. I think people call that ‘piercing.’”

He rolls said eyes. “Acceptable. Finally. Now just tell me I’m beautiful and we can end this travesty.”

And you can’t help yourself. “Well, Karlach is beautiful. You’re fine, though.”

The moment of truth. See if he’ll engage…

He gasps, but through a grin. Literally splays his fingers over his chest. “How dare you. I thought we had something special.”

Warmth flutters through you. You set the game down and he picked it up. He’s returning it. Holy shit, you went and established banter with a maybe-friend. It’s a damn good thing you got so much practice keeping your face blank.

He clucks his tongue. Nudges at you with his hip. “Still. You’re nice, too.”

Well that’s an overstatement. You are plain and plus sized, and it ain’t some false-modesty thing. If you ain’t in some colorful or flowery blouse, you can feel kids staring at the store. More than once you caught a, “Is that a boy or a girl” and a parent frantically shushing.

You’d always thought the boobs would be a giveaway (they ain’t subtle), but hey, baggy clothes.

Sailing too close to the rocky Shore of Truth. Time to veer back into the humor pool. You deadpan. “Oh good. The pretty boy thinks I’m acceptable. Now I won’t have to cry myself to sleep in shame.”

The smallest snort tears out of him. Seems to catch him off guard. But he quickly folds it under his mask and sighs. “I’d better go get some beauty sleep, darling. Seems like I need it if I’m to catch up with the competition.”

“You do that,” you say, letting a tiny grin crack your own stoic mask.

Which he returns.

Which is right when the ground in the middle of camp cracks open and some kinda hell goo burbles up, spinning in a vortex, before it bursts into flame. Out pops a winged demon lady with her tits half out.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[animentality]

Lol I think the straight girls are mad because they know of Astarion were real he’d never fuck them, and they don’t like seeing the truth of that. The man is GAY leave him the fuck alone, girls

Anon, you know, a lot of straight girls have their hackles up in my inbox at the moment, calling me biphobic.

Which is super weird, as I am...pan/bi.

You know.

But I don't really care to explain to them that he's more than anything FICTIONAL.

And I'm legally allowed to express a preference for seeing him be with dudes or nonbinary folk.

Like yeah bitch, this post was about MY preferences. This is my blog, where I come to ramble about random shit.

You made my opinion your business and that's super weird.

Please tell me what the fuck does it affect?

Did I say that I sent hate mail to people who disagree with me? Did I say that I doxxed people who write Astarion x female tav fanfics?

Did I say that I treat other bisexuals IRL as not gay because they're in het passing relationships?

No. I didn't. Because I don't do that.

I have a normal life doing a normal job, while also hanging out with my mostly LGBT gamer friends, and my big crime was answering an ask mentioning something I've noticed and I don't care for.

The weirdo antipathy in my inbox says less about me as a person, and more about them.

Like girls.

You either agree and say haha true, or you say I don't agree, and block and/or move on with your lives.

That's all you have to do.

Then you can go be straight with Astarion in baldur's gate 3. What are you doing on Tumblr? My Tumblr specifically?

Block me and move on.

Fantasize about him being heterosexual all you want.

I didn't come at you, I replied to a funny ask I got.

Bizarre behavior. But I think the BG3 fandom is just so big that it's growing into the horrible beast that all big fandoms become.

And I'm just not engaging.

I'm deleting all the annoying dumb messages whining about how romancing astarion as a woman is some kind of brave daring act, like it's progress for the entire pride movement.

Because it doesn't amuse me, and I am here to be amused.

[tadpolejourney]

Days 11-12

I was so sick last night, I couldn't write. I'll have to put my work on Act V aside to catch up on yesterday and today.

Yesterday was such a crazy ass fucking day. I must emphasize that I have been having some very strange and crazy days lately, and this was the most insane day yet.

Let's start with first thing yesterday morning. I can't say I didn't see this coming with all the flirting we've been doing. Astarion propositioned me for sex. He's not at all interested in a real relationship. I reminded him our relationship isn't transactional and he didn't need to repay the favor of my blood for sex. He talked about how I 'obviously' wanted him because I was quivering when he bit me. More like he's been the obvious one, and I shook because it hurt like hell and it was taking everything I had not to cry out, but I let him protect his ego to cushion the rejection. When I turned him down, he told me I was no fun, but he doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. I can't just have sex with whoever, whenever. I've never had the luxury of being able to just 'let go' and have sex only for the fun of it with anyone who I felt attracted to. That has always felt unsafe to me, and probably always will. Truthfully, if I could I would have said yes to him. I had no other reason to say no.

We got Karlach an engine upgrade today. I'm glad we met the blacksmith Dammon and he's able and willing to help. Also, those two have some real chemistry. I wonder if either or both of them realize it.

Gale needed another magical item today. This time he said it wasn't working to quell his hunger like before. He seemed frightened.

We made it to the goblin camp. I really try not to be racist but goblins are fucking stupid, disgusting, and barbaric.

It looks like the mother owlbear in the cave didn't make it. I found her cub taken captive at the camp and bargained with a goblin woman to set him free. I hope he can find our camp.

Volothamp Geddarm, of all people, was imprisoned by a goblin woman who called him her 'pigeon'. I watched him floundering to come up with a verse in front of an audience of drunk goblins. I spoke with him in camp tonight, and he had 0 interesting things to say and kept constantly talking over me. A classic mansplainer. Never meet your heroes. Not that he is really my hero. His music really isn't my style, and I don't tend to read fairy tales either. He's more like someone I'm obligated to know about in my profession. Still, color me unimpressed.

We found Halsin at the goblin camp, alive and imprisoned. We helped free him and kill his captors. He knew immediately that I was infected, and that my infection was atypical. He's just as good of a healer as the druids claimed. But he can't cure us either. He does, however, know where to find our cure. Moonrise Towers. He asked us to kill the leaders of the goblin camp to protect his grove. Of course we're doing it. Also, why does every ally I make have to be so hot? IT'S VERY DISTRACTING. If I could find allies that are just average looking or even ugly, or like geriatric, or married, that would be fantastic. I hope Halsin is married. Or who knows, maybe we'll hit it off and I can forget about the dude I really like who I've definitely been hitting on that just fucking ignores me anyway.

Shadowheart has been carrying around a strange artifact this whole time. True to form she was very rude when I asked about it a tenday ago, so I ignored it. Until today. It made its way to me somehow while we were in the goblin camp. I finally heard the voice of this Absolute. It showed me a vision of its chosen, said I should aid in their search for a weapon. The power it wields to make us obey is unlike anything I've ever felt or experienced. The artifact protected us somehow.

I met the three leaders of the goblin camp. These 'True Soul' leaders all had parasites. They think I'm their ally because I'm infected. Minthara referred to me as 'grotesque'. She seems highly intelligent and tough as nails. Priestess Gut is a sadist branding everyone she can get her hands on, but not nearly as powerful as she claims to be. Dror Ragzlin is ambitious, and like all ambitious people, his ambition makes him a narrow-minded moron.

So that was yesterday up until being very sick last night in camp. Late last night Lae'zel snuck up behind me while I was sitting on the ground and put a dagger to my throat. She thought we were transforming, and she was ready to kill me, the others, and then herself. I felt her fear and her doubt, and it didn't take much to convince her to stand down. I wasn't positive we weren't transforming, but I also wasn't ready to die or let anyone else be killed over an assumption. We went to sleep after that.

According to a being that came to me in my dreams, I was sick last night because I really was transforming into a mindflayer. Lae'zel was right, but luckily she didn't kill me or anyone else. This guardian guy, a big, strange-looking, half elf male in fancy armor, says he made me better. Told me I needed to wield the power the parasite has granted me, that I had potential and could 'save us all'. Claimed to be my protector, and that he was fighting 'the enemy'. So purposely vague. Another day, another sales pitch. I don't know if I buy it. Perhaps some of it is true. I remain extremely skeptical.

Gale spoke to me this morning about the visitor in his dream, a supposed 'vision of unparalleled beauty and power'. I am truly annoyed that I felt so jealous upon hearing him say so. He confirmed what I'd suspected about mine. It wasn't a real person.

Everyone had the same dream, with a different guardian. Just when I thought shit could not get any weirder.

Today we attacked the goblin camp.

We went after Minthara first, as she is clearly the most dangerous and capable of the three. She was also closest to where Halsin was imprisoned and there was a scrying eye that would have made subterfuge impossible. When I struck what I'm sure everyone thought was the final blow I deliberately knocked her unconscious rather than killing her. I spared her without telling anyone. I thought about how if I did not have this weird entity or that weird box protecting me from the Absolute, I could be just like she is. I could not bring myself to kill her. I made an emotional decision, and I could definitely come to regret it later. Halsin could hate me for what I did. Minthara would likely kill me for what I did. She is Lolth-sworn drow. This would be utterly humiliating for her if she knew. Maybe she won't know though. The others didn't realize what I'd done. We stripped her while she was unconscious like we would have a corpse. I had a parasite in my bag that I nicked off Nettie's table when no one was looking, and I said it came from Minthara. Maybe her being alive can just be a 'miraculous survival'. I'm hoping the Absolute lost its influence there because of all the followers we murdered, and she can get a chance to be free. And this is yet another reason why I feel like I did something truly dumb: I'm not even sure that's how this works. I could have just condemned her to be a mindflayer and doomed many, or failed to make any change at all to her situation (which means she most certainly could get killed outright for her failure as a leader). I can only really hope for the best and live with the consequences of what I've done, whatever they may be.

I'm getting really tired of having to make all these crucial decisions that not only direct my fate, but also the fates of so many others.

When we pulled the tadpoles from Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin, the guardian spoke to me in my mind, encouraged me to absorb their potential. I hesitated, but he promised to protect me, so I consumed it. I don't even know where to start in describing the feeling. To put it simply: weird, cold, uncomfortable, but also good. I feel more powerful, and I'm still myself.

Astarion immediately wanted one for himself, put on a cute pouty face and everything. He's so funny. He could have just asked without the theatrics. However, of course I love the theatrics. We made a deal not long after we met that for any locks he picks on chests he can claim the contents for himself. Anything he keeps or gives away is fully at his discretion, and no one gets a say in that. I give him all the tools and kits to pick locks and disarm traps, and he takes care of that for us. That was the deal. When it comes to picking locks and spotting and disarming traps, he's the best I've ever seen. He makes it look easy. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I noticed the last few chests he's picked locks to open, he's asked the rest of us if we can make use of some of the things he finds. Today he opened a chest with infernal iron and willingly handed it to Karlach. He could have easily stashed it away and not a one of us would have been the wiser. That metal is worth a lot of coin. He's actually becoming a team player. I'm honestly impressed, he continues to surprise me. I thought at first he would be our biggest liability, but the opposite is true. He's proven himself to be our biggest asset. Naturally, I won't tell him that.

We found the way into the heart of the Selûnite temple the goblins were using for their camp. There's a ladder leading down into a chasm, and it's impossible to see the bottom. It's safe to say we found one way into the Underdark. I think I want to keep looking, because that ladder looks so fucking shady. Could just be my thing with heights though. I fucking hate heights.

Halsin suggested we celebrate tonight, rather than get an early start tomorrow. He reassured me our infection would be unlikely to progress spontaneously. He also doesn't know all of us nearly turned just last night. I hope he's right. I thought it could be really fun to let loose a little, and celebrate what turned out to be quite a victory. Saved the grove, saved the tieflings, freed Halsin, dispersed the Absolutists from this region, AND found another potential path for our cure.

When the party began, I wanted to talk to Gale right away if I'm being honest. But I thought, “Let's make him wait until I've spoken with literally everyone else but him. Let's see if he even notices, approaches me, or says anything about it at all when I speak to him”. Decided to test him. So I've barreled right past coping with his constant subtle rejection of me to being conniving to force him to actually reject me directly. You will never hear me proclaim to be mature or graceful, especially in matters of the heart. If he paid any attention at all, he got to watch nearly every single person I talked to either flirt with me or proposition me. I honestly lost count of how many people propositioned me... someone must have put something in the damn wine. I think Halsin and I were the only people not drinking it. I took a swig of Astarion's and spit it out immediately because it was so gross. Anyway... I made Gale think I was coming towards him halfway through making my way around the party, only to let Volo take me by the arm and whisk me right past him. I caught his eye and sent him the sultriest look I could manage without it being campy. Then I made an ass of myself flirting with Halsin. I don't know if Gale even noticed any of it. He probably didn't. The stupid shit I have pulled to try to get this man to acknowledge me...

When I spoke to him, he finally, finally, fucking finally opened up to me some. He talked about how he'd been living with his condition. Until he was kidnapped, he'd been in isolation for a year, maybe more. I was the first person he'd spent any significant amount of time with. He made some self-deprecating remark about leaving his wits and sensitivity behind in his tower. It took every bit of self-control I had not to just pounce on him. Instead I blurted out an 'I like you' sort of confession. But you know, snazzier than that in the moment because hi, it's me. Gave up on the whole 'done being obvious' thing once again and went right back to being obvious.

He paused before saying, 'Wait, are you...' and then he interrupted himself. Said something about how he'd clearly had too much wine and I not enough... and then proceeded to tell me that getting excited is a bad idea for him because of his condition. 'A conversation best held back for now.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH.

Boy I will prepare a fucking dragon's hoard of magical items for you to consume continuously while we lie together if that's what it takes. I am so frustrated. I want to have this explained to me in a way that actually makes sense. He's fucking hiding something. Something huge. And until now, I was too much of a lovesick puppy to see it. I had to have it thrown in my face for me to notice.

I'm starting to feel like I'm being played. I'm pissed.

So naturally I spend the night with someone else I like. Karlach. And then I friend-zoned her. I said yes to her earlier tonight because I knew what she wanted, and I knew what I was going to do. Worse yet, she wasn't the only person I strung along last night. And why would I do that to someone who would hang the moon for me, who has only ever been kind to me, who is probably the coolest person I've ever met and will ever meet? After all, aren't I the hero goody-two-shoes people pleasing sweet lovely little doll-faced creature everyone thinks I am? I'll tell you exactly why. Because deep down, I'm a fucking asshole, and now I'm getting exactly what I deserve for it. I feel like absolute shit about tonight, and I will for a long time. Probably forever. My guilt and shame are endless.

These are the exact reasons why I always end up alone.

I know I've been emotionally circling the drain for an entire page of writing now. I need to go to bed.

<<< Day 10 | Index | Day 13 >>>

[sailorgundam308]

Long ranting post about unhinged bg3 fans harassing other fans. Skip if you don’t care.

Second post I see today of other people targeted by some unhinged people in bg3 fandom with a moral superiority complex.

Dude. This is not a crusade. We’re in tumblr. Let’s get over ourselves a bit, shall we.

And, so far, aside from some backlash to problematic and shitty mods in Nexus, I’ve only seen people being harassed by frothing “fans” for things that are project onto them - not for things that were truly said and done. It’s been wild.

Some in this fandom need to learn how to read, how to contextualize and most of all, learn that the shit they wanna use to propel themselves onto their high horses is coming from inside the house. You’re projecting too much? Maybe it’s time to take a look at where that’s coming from.

Also, to these harassers: grow the fuck up. It’s a videogame and the characters are pixels. If someone doesn’t like a character, it doesn’t mean they hate the voice actor, what that character said, their gender, sexuality or whatever. It means they don’t like- guess what - the character. Period. Read what’s written, is my advice, and not more.

People have the right to care less or even straight up hate fictional characters. It doesn’t concern anyone but them. I f they wanna say so in a personal blog, it’s also fine. If it makes you MAD, there’s an unfollow and block buttons on this platform, and they’re free to be used.

The amount of utter shit I got from people straight up LYING about what I said is nuts. What I say in MY blog, about what I think, and towards no one in particular. About a videogame. From people sending me unsolicited screenshots of decapitated Karlach, to unhinged flooding calling me a cunt over and over because I have my own opinions about what kind of character looks good with Astarion. It’s my blog, my opinion, my prerogative. Astarion is not a real person and not your boyfriend - and I’m not talking to you if you think he is.

I’m starting to think there’s a mob with a flag of moral superiority loose on tumblr looking for shit they can twist and flip to fit their angry narrative. Like a fake morality locust plague.

Let us remember we know nothing about who’s behind most blogs here, and sometimes we need to take a chill pill, then use the block button.

I know I do it. A LOT. It works. I never had to badmouth people because we disagree on a videogame, nor did I ever went to someone’s inbox to harass them.

You know the same shit we do with fake news and those moral panics of the 80s and shit? That we go after the source and figure what’s all about before raging wrong? Maybe it’s time we do the same with the shit being dropped by some people on others in this fandom. All times I’ve checked, people here or on twitter were being targeted FOR PETTY BS that someone else projected onto them, their work, their words.

Now, to my plague of locusts, who apparently still keeps tabs on me: I never deleted a post here, you morons. Go look for it if you’re so serious about this. Then read it again. If you knew how to fucking read you’d understand what words mean and what they don’t. You might not like me, or my taste, or me shipping Astarion with Karlach. But it doesn’t give you the right to lie about my views and values, to actively try to “sabotage” my work or whatever shit you thought you were doing. As someone else who was harassed here has said, I bet you’re all whiny white bitches who know shit about real struggle and prejudice, who need to push people down to feel good. Be better. Cause the way you’re acting, you’re no better than “even” me.

[nikatyler]

Zeph 1.0

can't believe that yesterday i was like eh i'm not sure about that armor, it looks so good on them

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oooh a pretty evil lady!

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same girl, same, about everything that has ever happened to me

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it's been 84 years (more like 16 hours) but i'm finally opening bg3 again ✨

i think i'll do some more goblin camp shenanigans today if possible 👀

ohhh right. essentially i've already murdered like half the goblin camp so now the other half of the camp is trying to murder me, huh?

Me: "ah yes I'm far enough" *the explosion hits Zeph and Zeph dies* *reloads* "ah yes now I'm definitely far enough" *the explosion hits Zeph again and Zeph dies again*

"yeah we've got this" *the entire party dies*

Fucking gnolls man

yeah it's been a long bloody day

HELLO SAY THAT AGAIN

hUH

jesus christ this man is h🫣rny

Okay so I'll go watch a baking show with my mum in a bit and then we're going back and doing da thing 😏

Sorry for not giving updates if you were looking forward to them, anyway a little thing I love is how everyone sleeps on their back. I do that and apparently that's weird to everyone around me? 😂🤨

I will literally be in my bed like 🧍‍♂️

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newest development in my bg3-rotten brain

did i mention this game is doing things to me because it is doing things to me

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Anywayyyy you know what time it is 😌

I may have just spent an hour organizing everyone's inventories and figuring out who gets what armor and all but we're good to go now I think

Explosive shrooms, yay 🤩

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I'm 💀💀💀 I need to go to bed lmao

Okay so basically what happened um. I don't know how but it did. So I wanted to help Astarion. But I clicked the wrong thing. And I pushed him off the boat. And he died.

I RELOADED BUT HOW DID I EVEN DO THAT 😭😭

If there's one thing about me it's that I'll accidentally murder my favourite vampires

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I love Zeph so much they're so prettyyyyyy

Kinda wanna make a modern day version of them in ts4 and have them interact with my other characters. They'd fit right in

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hole hehe. hole

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my bi ass is having a bit of a dilemma rn

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gay gay gay they're in love your honor

HELL YEAH KISS

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Raw footage of me during my latest combat

I was actually so stressed dude 😭 thankfully we made it through but ahhhhh

Does anyone else apologize to the characters when they get hurt? Like sorry lil guy in my computer I'm sorry I'm putting you through this I promise you'll make it out I PROMISE ah fuck you're getting hit again oh no sorry sorry ahhhh

So uh. The adamantine forge fight huh. 🙂

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Granted it doesn't count ts4 correctly rn probably because I haven't updated yet but…yeah 😅😅

(also I have way more hours on ts4 actually, this is just since Jan 2023, I played through Origin/EA app before and then switched to Steam for reasons)

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my fucking thoughts exactly, i hate this battle 😭😭 on a real note i relate to him so much when he's whining DUDE WE LIVE

i should've known he wouldn't take that as a good thing lmaoooooo dude creases when you smile is the biggest compliment smh

FREN!!!

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oops

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I'm sorry what

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pwettyyyyy

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I'm sensing that I may have messed up real bad in Last Light Inn yesterday...ooops

I should've reloaded to see if things could turn out differently but I've done a lot afterwards, idk if I wanna go back now 😂 No spoilers pls, that's something for me to figure out in my next playthrough

"ooops" people DIED 💀 people i had previously saved died 💀

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You're never gonna believe who I murdered again

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I'm fucking crying I need you to resurrect him you moron stop shaming Zeph for having a sex life Update we are so back lads

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Funny how fast I went from "I think Zeph is mostly good, they just want to get rid of the parasite and help people along the way" to "actually fuck it darling you're so right some power would be nice"

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Crying laughing sending this to my sibling who's in art school. On point

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"eh we'll be fine i don't need bonuses" *rolls 1*

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daddy Ketheric omg💀💀

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uh anyway

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this is the best they are the best 🥹

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Don't be upset, I will reload, just don't be upset with me pleaseeee 😭

The "please a videogame vampire at all costs" disease is real I'm afraid

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Uh oh it's almost 3am, tomorrow will be an eepy day, well it's worth it

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I'm so close to having a funny number of hours played 🤭

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Killed the workout, now let's kill this guy that I struggled with for half an hour. Almost killed my whole party in the process so I quit and decided to kill my legs instead 😂

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