#like…I could elaborate but y’all know exactly what I mean

[actualnymph]

I think one of the biggest life lessons that I’ve ever learned is that you can’t make people like you…not with things not with words not with attention they’re not gonna start liking you. Learning to step back and focus on how people treat me rather than if they care about me was hard but I’ve finally mastered it. No more fake or hollow friendships I want the real thing.

[plussizeficchick]

Agora Hills | Eren x Chubby!Reader

Ahhh! It’s part 2 to The Weekend! I didn’t expect y’all to like the first part as much so I’m hoping this lives up to y’all’s expectations😂

Warnings: Mean!Eren (but really only to Mikasa and Historia) Pick Me!Mikasa and Historia (they will be dealt with) smut(cunnilingus, P in V, mentions of fingering, panty sniffing) not proofread (sorry y’all)

She felt like she was going to be sick.

How could he?

How could you?

She cried in your arms, she poured her heart out to both of you and this is what you do?

No.

It had to be you.

You must have tempted him, this was just some elaborate revenge for her talking to that one guy at Connie’s party a while back. 

Because no way her Eren would be caught dead with you.

— —

Mikasa’s knees were ready to give way.

All throughout the day, you and Eren had been carefully avoiding her but it was time for your daily meetup at lunch with the rest of the group, so she’ll give you an opportunity to explain yourselves and if she’s willing, she’s open to forgiveness.

Oh how she wishes she’d have just skipped lunch.

She was seated next to Historia in the cafe, along with Armin, Jean and Connie awaiting the arrival of you both. She needed Historia for moral support, having told her of your treachery. Historia wasn’t nearly as upset as Mikasa had expected, but she chalked it up to shock because honestly, she was shocked too.

As soon as the doors to the cafeteria open, everyone’s head turns, the sight of Eren holding the door open for you coming into view.

He walks in after you, eyes raking over your figure as if he didn’t help you pick out your outfit for the day.

It was a simple halter top and mini skirt combo paired with some short, heeled sandals, but that wasn’t what brought the smirk to his lips.

No, it was the pretty gold anklet with his initials and the gorgeous emerald necklace that he’d paired with it that brought the smile to his face.

You looked so pretty with his claim on you.

You both saunter up to your friends, hand in hand, before Eren pulls out your seat for you, taking the one beside you for himself before you both engage in conversation with the guys.

“So, does no one see a problem?” Historia asks incredulously. Has she entered the fucking twilight zone?

Armin shrugs, doing a onceover of the table, “I don’t think so. Everyone’s here right?” He asks, getting a brief nod from everyone.

Not that you and Eren were paying attention. You both were too busy giggling amongst yourselves.

“Eren?” Mikasa squeaks out. She couldn’t believe that after all this time, he’d just throw her away. And for you of all people?

Oh no.

She’s worked too hard, put up with too much to just let him go.

He begrudgingly looks away from you, his mood immediately dampening as he addresses her. “Yeah?” He sighs. 

She ignores his disposition, wanting to know just what the fuck you two had going on. “Can I talk to you? Privately?” She grits out through clenched teeth. Eren rolls his eyes before turning his attention back to you, playing with the emerald pendant, “Nah, why? What happened?” 

Mikasa blushes as everyone turns their gazes towards her, the tension palpable. “What happened? What happened, Eren, is you parading her around like she’s your girlfriend when we-” “When we what, exactly? Look Mikasa, you’re a nice girl but (Y/N)’s different. She makes me feel some type of way whenever I’m with her. We just click in a way that you and I never could.” He cuts her off.

Her heart breaks, tears threatening to fall when she casts a glance at her friends, but the way they avert their eyes has her stomach dropping further. “You guys knew?” She barely manages to get out. 

Connie and Jean mumble affirmations, but Armin stutters out a reply, “But not for that long, Mikasa!” He squeaks out, however, Historia’s had enough, “That’s enough! Eren, you’re being cruel. You can’t possibly want her over me-Mikasa!” She exclaims. Eren snarls, his temper spiking. “I’m getting real tired of you guys talking about my girl like that, so I’m only going to say this once,” He grits out. “Being cruel is pretending to be Mikasa’s friend when you’ve been begging me to fuck you behind her back. Being cruel is telling me that Mikasa’s a pathetic bitch and that I can do better than her. And you know what? You’re right! And you’re fucking looking at her, so the both of you can fuck off out of my face.” He practically spits at her. Historia’s jaw drops and Mikasa just wants the earth to swallow her whole. 

She rushes out of the cafeteria, Historia hot on her heels, spewing apologies. Eren turns to you, thumb brushing over your cheek softly. “You okay, baby?” He asks, pressing a brief peck to your lips. “Yeah, just not very hungry anymore.” You sigh. Eren frowns, but you’re sure to reassure him. “It’s not because of them, babe. Just wanna be alone with you right now.” You murmur, running your manicured hand along his arm. 

He smirks, now eager to get you both out of there. “Hey, we’re gonna rain check on the lunch.” Eren announces to your friends. He helps you out of your seat, guiding you out of the cafeteria.

“He’s fucking whipped.” Connie jokes, gaining laughs from the two men.

— —

You both barely made it past the threshold of his dorm before you were on each other, tongues darting into each other’s mouths eager to gain dominance.

Eren presses you against the door, hiking you up to press his clothed cock against your cunt. “You don’t think anybody noticed, right?” He mumbles into your mouth, the taste of you too good to pull away from. “You fingering me under the table?” You ask. He nods, pulling back slightly to move his attention to your neck, the previous love bites fading to make room for new ones. You shrug, moaning as he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot, your panties dampening further as a result, “Who cares?”

Eren chuckles at your neediness, moving to press a searing kiss to your lips as he walks you both to his bedroom. He carefully placed you down, pulling back fully to look at you.

He doesn’t think you fully grasp the hold you have on him, but there’s plenty of time to convince you.

He moves to peel away the tight mini skirt and top you have on, your lacy thong being the only thing keeping him from your warm center. You whine for him to get undressed, the sight of his hard abs and tattoos causing your pussy to clench around nothing. He obliges you, removing his hoodie and jeans along with his boxers before he rejoins you on the bed.

He runs a finger over your soaking panties before pulling them down, strings of your arousal sticking to the small piece of cloth.

The next moment is hazy to the both of you, all Eren knows is that he’s not going to be able to go one day without your pussy on his face.

He dives in, his tongue immediately lapping up the juices that escaped from your slick hole before trailing up to your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves. You whine, clit throbbing under his ministrations. He takes long, languid licks up and down the slit before flicking his tongue over the bud. You gasp as you cum with a shout, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.

He’s faring no better, the way your thick thighs clamped over his head, squeezing him further into your cunt has him rutting against the sheets, the tip dripping pre. He pulls away when the need for air becomes necessary, taking in gulps of air while nuzzling into your fupa.

“You’re so pretty, baby. So fucking sexy.” He mumbles into the soft skin. You run your fingers through his unruly hair, the soft locks falling from your fingers. “Want you to fuck me, ‘Ren.” You whine out, aching to feel the length of him stretch you out. He complies, pressing kisses along your body before he presses a sweet kiss to your lips, the taste of you still dancing on his tongue.

He uses the kiss to distract you from the slight sting of his cock stretching your cunt. He hisses at the feel of your warm cunt wrapping around his cock, the slickness of your juices making the glide into you that much easier.

He sits up slightly, fucking into you as he reaches over you to grab something, groaning and cock twitching as he grabs his prize. You barely manage to look up to see your panties pressed against his nose, tongue laving over the damp patch.

You cry out at the sight, your pussy quivering as you pull him into a messy kiss, sucking his tongue into your mouth. You both whine into each other's mouths, declarations of love spilling from each other's lips as you both reach your high. You clamp down around Eren, your cunt gushing and clenching as you coat his cock in your essence and he fills you up, warm cum painting your walls white.

You’re panting, the exertion catching up to you both as you snuggle into each other, your fingers tracing over the tattoo with your name on it. You’re tired, but you know it’s only a matter of time before you’re at it again.

It’s a good thing neither of them could keep him satisfied.

— —

Taglist:@xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @sintiva @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @haikyutiehoe @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon @jesus-son-of-god @you-need-namjesus

[sephirthoughts]

Vincent Got a Phone

Vincent got a phone and then Aerith adopted him as her friend, and all kinds of other shit started happening and he's very tired.

ships: valenwind, background sefikura, background aerti

rating: not explicit yet but soooooooo close

Chapter 5: Shut the fuck up, Sephiroth!

“Wait, wait! Everyone calm down! He’s not here to fight! I asked him to come!”

This elicited stunned silence from the group, in which the sound of Cerberus’ hammer clicking back rang out very clearly, followed by Vincent’s deep voice.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Of course I’m going to explain,” Cloud said, trying not to stare directly into the triple barrel, that was now trained on him. “Sephiroth and I have been…talking. He wants to turn over a new leaf. He doesn’t want to be our enemy, anymore.”

“What the hell do you mean, he doesn’t want to be our enemy!” Tifa demanded. “Like that’s something he gets to decide?!”

“I know things have been complicated between us and him, in the past. That’s why he has something he’d like to say to everyone. Go ahead, Seph.”

The angelic, silver haired, six-foot seven-inch tall, black leather clad man stepped forward. “I am very…” He glanced discreetly down at a slip of paper concealed in his gloved palm. “Sony.”

“No—sorry!” Cloud whispered, elbowing him in the side. “You’re sorry!”

“Sorry,” Sephiroth corrected.

Tifa stared at him. “You’re…sorry. After everything you’ve done, you’re just fucking sorry?! You killed my father! Cloud, he killed your mother!!”

“Tifa, please, just hear me out,” Cloud said, in a conciliatory tone. “I know better than anyone what he’s done. That’s why you’ve got to trust me. It’s complicated, and I know it’s hard to understand, right now, but it really wasn’t his fault. He’s just as much a victim in all this as we are.”

“Oh, he’s a victim, is he?” she retorted. “Then who the fuck is the culprit!”

“Shinra.” Everyone turned to look, in surprise, because it was the normally reticent Vincent, who had now spoken for a record-breaking third time, in a single conversation. “When Hojo did this to us—made us into monsters—Shinra not only allowed it, they condoned it. They knew he was committing atrocities, and they stood by and watched, just like they always do. Because they will do anything to grasp more power. No matter who they have to destroy, to do it.”

“Exactly,” Cloud nodded. “The rest of you haven’t been in that place. You can’t imagine what it’s like. And what they did to me, doesn’t even compare to the torture they put Vincent and Sephiroth through. That’s why…I’m going with him.”

“Going with him, where?” Aerith asked. “What do you mean?”  

“First, we’re going to make Hojo pay for what he’s done. He’s responsible for destroying countless lives. But at the end of the day, he’s still just a cog in the machine. After we deal with him, we’re going to take Shinra apart, piece by piece, till not a single brick is left standing. I know this is sudden, and probably seems totally out of the blue, so I don’t expect anyone to help us. But…if any of you want to come with us, I’d be grateful for it.”

Vincent lowered his arm and holstered Cerberus. “I am willing put aside past grievances and cooperate with you, for now. Shinra owes us a debt of blood. I will see it repaid.”

“Well, shit. If Vinnie’s in I’m in,” Cid sighed. “If you’re lookin to take down Shinra, y’all are gonna need a ride.”

“Thank you, guys,” Cloud said. “I knew I could count on you.”

Sephiroth dipped his chin, to Vincent. “Thank you, father.”

Vincent silently returned the salutation.

“Father??!!” exclaimed everyone else except Aerith, who said, “Ohhh. I totally see it.”

“Uh…Vinnie?” Cid asked, uneasily. “Why’s Sephiroth callin’ you father?”

“Because he’s my son,” Vincent replied flatly, still looking across the table at Sephiroth. “But I didn’t know he knew that.”

Yuffie made a face. “So you…with his mother?”

“No. They used my genetic material, without my knowledge. Sephiroth was told his parents were dead. He was raised in a lab, like a specimen. Systematically isolated and tortured, brainwashed into a living weapon, and set loose to commit war crimes, at the age of fourteen. When he learned the truth about his origins, he had a psychotic break, and under the influence of Jenova, defaulted to the only thing he’d ever known: violence.” Vincent turned his crimson eyes on Tifa, one flashing with a hint of gold. “Given that context, Ms. Lockhart, would it not be fair to say that perhaps, he is not entirely culpable for what he has done?”

Tifa lowered her head, biting her lip in anger and frustration, and Yuffie wrapped comforting arms around her.

“Look, I don’t expect anyone to process all of this, instantly,” Cloud spoke up. “I know it’ll take time to accept. But I asked you all here tonight, because I didn’t want to keep hiding this part of my life from the people I care most about.” He slipped his hand into Sephiroth’s and they interlaced their fingers. “I’m not asking for your blessing, but it’s important to me that you all know where I stand. Because Sephiroth and I are—uh. We’re…together.”

“Oh, ho ho!” Aerith chortled, whipping out her phone to type something on it.

“Ah-ha! That’s why I seen ya goin’ into that love hotel!” Cid asserted, swaying in his tipsy vehemence, but finding himself immediately steadied by a gauntleted hand on the small of his back. “You two musta been meetin’ up, on the sly!”

Cloud looked his way, unhappily. “You were spying on us, Cid?”

“Tch. Hell naw. I don’t have time for that shit. I was mindin’ my own business and I saw ya standin’ right there on the street, out fronta the place. Y’ain’t exactly easy to miss.”

“Tell me one thing,” Vincent said sternly (with his arm still around Cid’s waist). “That night at the Mega Karaoke. You didn’t fall into the door, at all, did you?”

Cloud laughed sheepishly. “Uh. About that. We thought that was our room. Seph was being kind of…playful and pushed me inside. When he saw you guys he poofed, so you didn’t see him.”

“Wow, you two were in such a hurry to get down, that you mixed up the rooms?” Aerith smirked.

“It’s not like it was our fault! That karaoke place should be prosecuted, what kind of assholes have a room 8B and a room B8? What is your numbering system, even?”

“Well, damn,” Yuffie remarked, raising her eyebrows. “Cloud really recruited a world-class supervillain for team good-guys, just like that. How good is that bussy?”

“How good is what?” Vincent asked, looking alarmed.

Aerith giggled gleefully and kept tapping her phone screen.

Tifa was still glaring at Sephiroth, who didn’t appear to notice, likely because his serpentine eyes hardly ever left Cloud.

Cid was rubbing his stubble, thoughtfully. “Does this mean Cloud’s gotta call Vinnie father-in-law now?”

“Never,” Cloud said.

“Please do not,” Vincent said at the exact same time.

“This is fucked!” Tifa shouted, giving everyone a second jolt. “You’re fucking mentally ill, Cloud! This guy is a mass-murderer!”

“Why are you acting so shocked about it?” Cloud asked, frowning. “You’re the one who said you already knew all about us.”

Tifa faltered, taken aback. “I what?”

“That day I ran into you and Yuffie, hiding behind the flower cart. Don’t you remember? You pretended it was a hypothetical, but you said your friend was dating someone who was bad for them and might get hurt. You told me you saw us together, and everything.”

“I wasn’t talking about you!” Tifa said, practically beside herself with exasperation. “I was talking about Aeri and Mr. Valentine!”

Aerith looked up from her phone, wide-eyed. “Eh? Who and who??”

“There’s no use pretending anymore, Aeri!” Yuffie said, pointing a righteous finger at her. “We saw you with Mr. Valentine at the Mega Karaoke.”

“Uh…huh,” Aerith replied drily. “Well, to be fair, you actually saw me with Cloud and Vincent.”

“I saw you and my father alone, together,” Sephiroth interjected. “You were embracing one another.”

“Shut the fuck up, Sephiroth! This doesn’t concern you!” Tifa fired back.

“Yeah, and stop calling Vincent your father, it’s weird,” Yuffie poked her head out to add, then ducked back behind Tifa.

Vincent, meanwhile, had withdrawn his arm from around Cid, and was standing there looking stricken. “You…you all thought that Aerith and I were…together? Cid? You too?”

Cid scratched his head. “Uh. Well, ain’t ya?”

“I confessed my feelings to you, three nights ago,” Vincent said, lowering his voice. “Do you believe I’d have done such a thing, if I were attached to another person? What kind of man do you think I am?”

Now it was Cid’s turn to look gobsmacked. “Y’did what, now?”

“I told you how I feel.”

“Well…yeah. About Ms. Aerith. Didn’t ya?”

“About you! You rejected me. You told me you’d support me but you needed time. You seemed upset and you left rather abruptly.”

“That’s cause I thought you were talkin’ about bein’ soul mates with that little girl!” Cid said, throwing his hands up in vexation. “No offense, Ms. Aerith.”

“Well, offense taken! A lot of offense taken!” Aerith returned, planting her hands on her hips. “You all thought Vincent and I had something romantic going on? And no one even bothered to ask us about it??” She turned her flashing green eyes on Tifa and Yuffie, who flinched visibly. “And I bet it’s all because you two troublemakers started meddling, and confused everyone.”

“In our defense, it was all Tifa’s idea,” Yuffie declared. “She bullied me and made me go along with her crazy scheme.”

Tifa looked theatrically offended. “What?! You shitty brat, I barely bullied you at all!”

“So, thanks to you two and your little witch hunt, Cid and Vincent think they’ve been rejected by each other,” Aerith continued. “And along the way, you managed to scare Cloud into coming clean about his actual secret affair, so now we all have to sit here, watching him be lovey-dovey with mommy-issues mcdoomsday, right in front of our salads! No offense, Sephiroth.”

“None taken,” the heretofore extremely volatile superhuman replied, causing everyone to turn and look at him in disbelief. He straightened up and crossed his arms on his impressive chest. “I thought it was funny. Also, a fairly accurate characterization.”

“Aeri, um…about the Mr. Valentine thing,” Tifa ventured. “We didn’t just pull that out of thin air. You two have been in each other’s rooms a lot, lately.”

“And going out together in public a lot, too,” Yuffie concurred.

“And, again, I did see you embracing in the karaoke room,” Sephiroth put in helpfully.

“Shut! Up!” several people said to him, in unison.

“Yes. I admit it. I was hugging my friend. Fucking sue me!” Aerith retorted, growing surprisingly heated, to the point where her eyes began to glisten and turn pink at the rims. “Girls who are just friends can hang all over each other, all day long, but people suddenly become such puritans, when it’s a man and woman! And just for your information, Ti-chan, you should be more concerned about me going into your room, than Vincent’s! Because I AM A LESBIAN!”

With that, Aerith kicked a chair out of her way and stormed off.

“I’ll…go talk to her,” Tifa said, and hurried after her friend.

“I think we, as a group, need to work on our communication,” Cait Sith said sagely, from the chair beside Cid’s.

“Gah!!” Cid yelped. “What the—where the hell’d you come from?!”

“I’ve been here the entire time,” the feline automaton said, sounding wounded. “The rest of you noticed me, didn’t you?”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, in which everyone (except Sephiroth) suddenly developed an engrossing interest in the carpet or the ceiling tiles. It was into this bewildering atmosphere that the waitress descended, like a suspenders and bow-tie clad angel of mercy, with her notebook and a jaunty smile. “So, how are we all feeling about entrees, this evening?”

Thus it happened that our motely assortment of weirdos (minus Aerith and Tifa) sat down to an awkward, but relatively congenial supper, with the man who’d been the primary antagonist in most of their lives, for the past several years, at least.

If they had any suspicions, however, regarding their erstwhile arch-enemy’s real motives, they were at least somewhat allayed by the disgustingly adoring way he focused on Cloud, as if the young man were his sun and moon, and he could see nothing else.

Cid and Vincent, meanwhile, mostly drank in silence (whiskey based cocktails and red wine, respectively), because whenever they did speak, they kept bumbling and being over-polite to one another, in their mutual discomfiture. Pretty much everyone was relieved when dinner was over. Except Sephiroth and the cat, who seemed entirely immune to embarrassment.

“So, Sephiroth,” Yuffie said, eyeing the monumental man cagily, as the party strolled out of the restaurant. “Are you still, like, batshit insane?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied. “But I am…working on that.”

“Are you planning on killing any of us?”

“No.”

“Bearing in mind that destroying the world counts as killing us.”

“I have given up global genocide,” Sephiroth said, glancing at Cloud. “My lover is rather attached to this world, as it turns out.”

“Welp, good enough for me. As long as I never have to hear you say the word lover again, welcome to the team,” she pronounced. “With you on our side, we can totally rail Rufus Shinra’s ass!”

“Seriously, work on your phrasing, Yuff,” Cloud groaned. “It’s getting ridiculous.”

“Huh? What did I say? Cloud! Get back here!!”

“So, uh. We probably oughta talk,” Cid said to Vincent, after they separated from the others.

“I suppose we should,” Vincent agreed, casting a sidelong glance at him. “Shall we go to the hotel garden?”

“Or we could, uh…we could go to my room,” Cid mumbled. “Y’know. Have a cup of coffee, or whatever.”

Vincent paused, scrutinizing him closely. “Are you still drunk?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Cid admitted, flushing pink, under his crimson gaze. “That’s the only reason I got the balls to be talkin’ to ya, right now.”

Vincent arched a black eyebrow. “I trust you are aware what asking a gentleman back to your room for coffee implies.”

“Tch. We’ve shared rooms about a hundred times, Vinnie. Am I supposed to be worried you’ll think I’m a slut?”

Vincent’s crimson eyes glowed a little more intensely, but he looked away quickly, to conceal it. “Coffee it is, then.”

They were already at the walkway intersection, between their two rooms, so Cid led the way, as casually as he could pretend to be—which was to say, not very. Vincent was always just his buddy Vinnie, to him. He fit in the Vinnie category and did Vinnie things, and that’s how it was.

Now that he was looking at his friend from a different perspective, he was suddenly, keenly aware of Vincent as a whole entity, outside their friendship. As it turned out, Vincent Valentine was an extremely intimidating man.

Before he became an actual monster, Vincent had already been a highly trained killing machine. Underlying his general aura of somnolent malaise, Cid was aware of the cold calculation and hyper-competence of the Turk.

Physically, he was a superior specimen. Tall and slender, but agile and astonishingly fast. Despite his ostensible indifference, and tendency to fall asleep standing up, Vincent’s whole being was suffused with quiet ferocity. Cid had seen the man snap out of his apparent ruminant state into decisive and deadly action, enough times to know that Vincent’s languor was a predator’s grace. Like a panther in repose.

And all of that was before one took into account the literal demon under his skin, looking out from that gold ring in his crimson eye, awaiting its moment to burst loose its bonds and drown the world in darkness (which idea Cid found a lot sexier than he probably should have).

His hands shook with nervousness as he unlocked the door, so much that he fumbled and almost dropped the key. But miraculously, he managed to recover, and they got into the room without him making any more excessively embarrassing blunders.

Cid’s room had a sort of steam-punk aesthetic, somewhat like the inside of an airship. It featured exposed brass pipes and other unnecessary but interesting embellishments, and the bedframe had been constructed from the actual fuselage of an old plane.

It had those awful, modern, overhead lights, too, but at the moment, it was lit only by the two lantern-style gas lamps on the wall, on either side of the headboard, so the illumination was warm and diffuse, and not troublesome to Vincent’s eyes.

Vincent took a seat on the distressed leather sofa, in front of the steamer trunk, that served as a coffee table, while Cid set about brewing a packet of hotel-provided coffee in the almost laughably small hotel-provided pot.

“So, uh. About the other night,” Cid began, after he’d placed their mugs on the steamer trunk, and sat down beside Vincent. “I said it already, but I’m sorry for actin’ like a jackass. I misunderstood about as bad as it’s possible to.”

“It was an understandable error, given that there were outside parties interfering,” Vincent replied charitably, blowing the steam off his mug.

Cid shook his head. “It’d be easy to say I had everything all wrong on account of them girls tellin’ me a whole lotta nonsense, but that’s a cop-out. There ain’t no changin’ the fact I made assumptions and didn’t ask ya myself. It’s my own fault. Also, I didn’t know you were…I mean. I never thought to ask, and you never told me. About the, uh. The umbrella.”

“No more umbrellas, please,” Vincent said, with a grimace. “Euphemizing and speaking obliquely is what caused all of this mess, in the first place.” He set his mug back down and looked Cid in the eye. “Cid…I like you. I like you in a romantic, non-platonic way. I’ve never felt this way about a man, and I have no idea how to label or define it. I only know that it is. And it is not a short-lived infatuation, or the impulse of a moment. I have felt this way for quite some time.”

“So…when ya said all that stuff about a person bein’ the missin’ part of ya, and how y’could spend every day with ‘em and never get tired of ‘em…”

“I was talking about you.”

Blood roared in Cid’s ears. He felt his heart pounding and his throat was suddenly dry. He’d thought what Vincent said had sounded a little dramatic and overwrought, the other night, but it struck the ear very differently, now he knew it was about himself. He yanked his goggles off his forehead and tossed them on the trunk-table, then pushed his hands back through his hair.

“You seem troubled by the idea,” Vincent said quietly, from where he’d receded into his cloak, concealing all of his face inside his high collar, except for his scarlet eyes.

Cid scratched his head. “I just…uh. Hoo, boy. I can’t help thinkin’ there’s still some kinda mixup. Y’sure ya like me? Like, wouldn’t you be happier with some fella your own age?”

“Ah. You did mention the age difference as an obstacle, before.”

“I ain’t sayin’ a obstacle per se,” Cid attempted. “I’m just thinkin’ about a few years from now, when you’re a little older. Y’might change your mind about what ya want, and start havin’ regrets.”

Vincent’s black brows knit in confusion. “When I’m older?”

“Well, cause like, I’m in my late thirties. That’s the settlin’ down with a long-term partner phase of life, y’know? You’ll understand once you get to be my age.”

“Cid. I’m fifty-seven.”

“Right, like I was sayin’, when you—” Cid blinked. “Ah…ha ha. I think I’m goin’ deaf, you said twenty-seven, right?”

“I said fifty-seven.”

“What the high-flyin’ fuck you mean fifty-seven?!” Cid sputtered, gesturing wildly with his coffee and nearly splashing it all over himself.

“I mean I’m fifty-seven years old.” Vincent tilted his head questioningly. “You do understand that Sephiroth is in his thirties, correct? And that he is my biological son?”

“Listen, I’m gonna be honest…I figured they grew him up super fast in one of those pods, like in the movies.”

“No, he grew up at the usual speed. Which does mean that I have a son who is nearly your age. The idea of age differences seems to bother you, quite a bit.”

“Oh, that?” Cid waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, I was talkin’ about kids in their twenties, all fresh-faced and dumb as shit, just startin’ out in the world. Who gives a fuck about a couple decades, between old-ass men like us?”

Vincent very nearly smiled. “You only call yourself old because you enjoy thinking of yourself that way. Whereas, I am quite literally an old man.”

“Come on, Vinnie,” Cid chuckled. “Ya can’t say you’re an old man, with that face, and expect me to take ya seriously.”

“Then…you like my face?” Vincent asked pointedly.

“Tch. You kiddin’ me? You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous I can’t believe you’re real, sometimes,” Cid said staunchly, then realized he’d revealed more than he intended, and became shy (and suddenly understood the appeal of having a cloak to hide in).

Vincent scooted closer, his leather armor squeaking against the leather on the couch. Eyes like scarlet embers glowed in the dim light of the gas lamps, regarding Cid with bloodthirsty intent.

Cid rubbed his hands together and chuckled nervously. “You’re…ha ha. You’re lookin’ at me like a hungry wolf, Vinnie.”

“Cid,” Vincent’s deep voice said softly. “I’m going to kiss you.”

Cid swallowed hard. “O—ok.”

He felt the cold claws of a metal gauntlet, as Vincent’s fingertips rested lightly on his cheek, turning his head. Vincent leaned in closer. So close his black hair brushed against Cid’s forehead. He paused. There was a bit of muffled jingling, as he awkwardly unbuckled his high collar. Then lips softer than any woman’s could’ve ever been were pressed against Cid’s.

Whatever he’d thought it would be like, to be kissed by a man—and his best friend, at that—all his preconceived notions were blown right out the window, when those lips pushed his apart, and Vincent’s tongue slid forward to caress his.

Sage-smoke and leather, and a hint of old books. That’s what he smelled like. He tasted like whatever heaven’s made out of. His tongue was domineering and devastatingly skilled, licking and thrusting and rolling over Cid’s, till he was clinging helplessly to Vincent and gasping for breath, between intense barrages.

He felt more like a chaste woman being ravished by a pirate captain in a romance novel, than he’d have liked to admit, but it felt so fucking good. How come no one ever told him how amazing it was to be on the receiving end of a man’s unrestrained desire?

It occurred to him then, that he could touch Vincent, too. Not that he hadn’t wanted to, it was just that, to lay entirely unworthy mortal hands on this divinity seemed almost blasphemous, so he hadn’t yet worked up the courage.

Steeling himself, he slipped a hand around Vincent’s narrow waist and kneaded the small of his back. To his utter astonishment, Vincent threw a knee over and straddled him, settling his weight on his lap, decisively closing any remaining space between their bodies.

Emboldened by this spectacular result, Cid worked his fingers into Vincent’s heavy, silky hair and tugged gently. Vincent moaned into the kiss and let his head move easily, at Cid’s direction.

Cid’s brain short-circuited, unable to process a reality in which Vincent might like to have his hair pulled. He tried again, a little harder, and was rewarded a breathy gasp, along with feeling that lithe body shudder against his.

The tables turned, then, and Cid was the aggressor, holding Vincent by his hair, invading his mouth, licking and sucking his perfect, pale lips, kissing him like the world was ending.

At long last, Vincent broke the kiss, leaving Cid overheated and dizzy—and so hard he could barely think. A clear thread of saliva stretched out between their lips and snapped, as they drew back, just enough to look at one another.

Vincent’s long, almond-shaped eyes were hazy and heavy-lidded, and his crimson irises were glowing, nearly all gold. His parted lips were wet and swollen, and very slightly flushed. The tip of his tongue traced over his elongated fangs.

“Ha…holy fuck, you’re beautiful,” Cid panted, sliding his hands up onto Vincent’s hips. “The hell you doin’ fuckin’ around with a scruffy bastard like me?”

“Beautiful,” Vincent murmured. Then he stiffened, staring into the middle-distance. The golden embers in his eyes dimmed and darkened. Seeming disoriented, he pushed himself up from Cid’s lap and stumbled back a step, nearly tripping over the steamer trunk, and upsetting a mug of coffee, in the process.

“Vinnie? What’s wrong?” Cid asked, confused and alarmed by this abrupt reversal.

“I—I can’t,” he said hoarsely. His eyes darted around manically, but didn’t seem to focus on anything. “It’s not your fault. I thought I could, but…I just can’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Wait, wait, Vinnie hang on,” Cid said hastily, jumping up to stop him. “Don’t run off, let’s talk—”

It was too late. Vincent had already dispersed into a whirl of crimson and vanished.

“—about it.” Cid gave a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “God…fuckin’ damn it.”

THE AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING TO SAY cat cameo!

one more chapter to go!!!!!!!!! will our intrepid heroes resolve their problems and go to pound town???? (yes they will)

link to prev. chapter

[dmwrites]

impulsesv whispered to you: hey Katherine

You whispered to impulsesv: hiii

impulsesv whispered to you: do you think we could hold a battle buddies meeting? Like, tonight? I have some information that the group needs to investigate asap

You whispered to impulsesv: ofc! I’ll text Pearl and Cub!

impulsesv whispered to you: wait wist wait dont invire Cub

impulsesv whispered to you: I’ll explain when we meet tonight

Katherine paused, humming uneasily to herself, looking down at Impulse’s messages. The whole point of battle buddies was that they all get together and slay monsters. Friendship is just as important as getting rid of the baddies, after all.

impulsesv whispered to you: trust me

Katherine sighed.

You whispered to impulsesv: okay. I’ll text Pearl.

impulsesv whispered to you: already did. See you tonight.

Katherine felt for her axe in her inventory. It was probably nothing. Probably. Impulse was rarely serious, even while killing mobs he’d had a big smile on his face. He’d sounded so serious over text. But that was text, it could be happy things. A surprise party for Cub? A prank? On Cub? It was probably nothing. And yet, Katherine couldn’t help but worry.

——

As the exact second that the clock on Katherine’s wall struck sundown, there was a knock at her door. She opened it, chuckling.

“You two do know that you can be here, like, before nightfall, right? I’m not timing you.”

“Punctuality is like half of Impulse’s personality.” Pearl said, skipping into the building.

Impulse just gave Katherine half a smile, closing the door behind him and locking it. “Sorry for the last minute meeting, Katherine.”

“It’s fine, but what’s going on, Impulse?” Katherine asked, passing around a tray of monster shaped cookies she had made. “What’s with not inviting Cub?”

Impulse sighed. “Something’s wrong with Cub.”

“Like, we should ask him about his feelings, or more… sinister?” Pearl asked.

“Well, let’s put it this way.” Impulse said. “The last time I saw Cub, he was covered in sculk, and the look he gave me when I made a noise turned my blood cold. Guys, I don’t think that Cub is really… Cub anymore. Something happened to him.”

“And we’re sure he’s not just high, right?” Pearl asked.

“He’s not.” Impulse said knowledgeably, failing to elaborate.

“Hmm, that would explain all the sculk I’ve seen in Hermittopia recently.” Pearl murmured. “He’s been, what, trying to spread it around?”

“I think so. Keeps going up to people and asking if they’d like to hear the good word on sculk. It’s totally freaking the hermits out, and I’m sure the empires peeps have caught wind of it too.” Impulse said.

“So what are you saying we should do?” Katherine asked. “Why are you telling us this?”

“Well, that’s up for you to decide, Katherine. You’re the leader here. I just brought the information to the table.” Impulse replied. He looked troubled, and frankly, scared.

“If what you’re saying is true, then Cub has become a monster. By definition.” Katherine said slowly. “Which means we have to… kill him.”

The weight of those words hung over the room like a dark rain cloud. There was no surprise at this, no confusion. Just an unfortunate acceptance. This is what they did, after all.

There was a low chuckle from outside the door. “Y’all talking about me? All good things, I hope.” Cub knocked on the door once. A small sliver of blue and black appeared on the wood. Katherine looked to Impulse and Pearl, who looked back at her in terror. “Oh, now that I’m here, y’all stop talking?” Cub continued. “Go on, I wanna hear exactly how you plan on killing me. I’m sure it’ll work great.” With every sentence, Cub hit the door, harder and harder. And with every strike, the sculk spread across the door.

Katherine stood up, heart pounding, and pulled her axe from her inventory. Impulse and Pearl stood too, and they moved to stand in a group.

“I know you’re in there.” Cub said, and it was unnerving just how calm he sounded. He was still hitting the door, now with such force that it bowed in with every hit. It was only a matter of time before it corrupted completely and fell apart. “I can hear you skittering around like little rats. I can taste your fear. I can smell you.”

Katherine looked to the other two and mouthed “ready up” to them. Pearl pulled out a diamond hoe, and for a weird, dizzying moment, Katherine could have sworn she’d seen this before. The thought vanished as Impulse took a step forward, axe raised.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Cub.” He said, voice wavering.

The knocking stopped. “Oh, you already made your bed on this one, friends. Time to fucking lie in it.” Cub laughed, and it was a hollow, dead-sounding noise. Cub sighed, there was an awful moment of silence, and then the door shattered. Cub stood before them, black and blue and glittering. Things were growing off of him, and he looked at the three of them like they were a meal. “Have y’all heard about the greatness of the sculk? No? How ‘bout I tell y’all all about it then.” Cub grinned, and leapt at them.

[jmdbjk]

JK Welive #1-2 & JK/Tae IG live

People sure have their panties in a knot over Jimin and Jungkook and Tae and shipping and JK's live, and Bam, and a J tattooed on a finger and just... damn people. You act like your life depends on this shit. 

To keep track of what we’re talking about let’s organize it like this: JK welive #1, JK/Tae IG live, JK welive #2, JM welive, JK welive #3, JK welive #4 (taken down, yet to see if it will be put back up). That’s a lot of maknae line to unpack. 

But bottomline: Jungkook is mostly at home nesting with Bam. Leave him alone. Y’all keep making me say that. INTROVERTS UNITE!

Boy arrived for Welive #1 wired and ready to defy the employee manual that says no live broadcasts without permission. 

Jungkook was a little solemn when someone asked about Jin in the comments. “Jin is doing ok.” and “Jin sometimes sends us a message in group chat.” JK didn’t seem like he wanted to elaborate on it.

He wonders why he thinks of Army when he’s drinking... man is crying in his beer over us!

Within 20 minutes he was all wound down. His sweet eyelids started getting droopy while he read Army comments. 

Then he got second wind and started searching for something to sing for us... finds Vibe, drools over Jimin for a sec, gives Taeyang some badass love, starts to sing the song before he even gets the lyrics up on the screen... knows the choreo of course... 

Rumor confirmed: Bam is the luckiest dog in the universe. Jeon Jungkook wipes his butt after he poops. Who else in this world can say that? Who?

Besides the Bam butt wiping TMI, Jungkook also said he emptied his freezer so he could keep his (8) frozen beer mugs in there ready for action. And also (10) smaller glasses... maybe pilsner glasses? 400ml is not a small glass. 18 large servings of adult beverages. Priorities.

TMI: JK sings while he pees.

Kookie philosophy: if a rock doesn’t get rained on, it will crack and break. So another round of beers please. Gotta stay hydrated according to Kookie.

He attributes his being able to sit in the dark in his house with Bam and drink beer and literally breathe, to Army. Thanks to Army. You are welcome, baby!

Jungkook also says if you don’t have these three things, get out of here:

Gotta admit, I was stressing for a minute over the remark that he’s stopped working on his album... but Jungkookie says he’s kind of into this living like a rock for now. He’s not feeling pressured or overly anxious to be working or trying to make himself work. How he said what he said implies maybe he is really relishing this “doing what he wants at age 25...” Good for him. He deserves to slack for a while. 

At about 1 hour and 13 minutes in he pulls J-Hope’s “More” up on the noraebang screen and begins to rock out. I LOVED THAT!   Then he realized Namjoon was in the comments and thanked him for being his savior. And y’all didn’t tell me he sang Daechwita!!!! ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!! Even though he substituted Suchwita in the lyrics hahahahahaha. He also praised Taehyung on changing up his singing style as it became sweeter. Good job! AWWWW.

And he got me laughing out loud when someone commented for him to stop drinking, it’s not healthy... he says, if his body stays healthy it wonders what it’s supposed to do and it stops doing its job so he introduces unhealthy components (like beer) for it to wake up and fight inside and that’s how he’ll become healthy... HAHAHAHAHAHAA, oh Kookie. Don’t tell people that! they will believe it! Armys are gullible! 

What he really meant with that explanation is: “don’t lecture me.”

Bless his neighbors... who surely can hear him singing through the walls at 4:00 a.m. ...

Jungkook gave us the long awaited tattoo explanations. Honestly, does anyone think NO ONE has EVER asked him what the tattoos mean? Do you think he’s NEVER had to explain to anyone? EVER? What exactly would anyone expect him to say about certain ones? He also didn’t speak about covering the tiger with the black sun... he says when he first got them, he didn’t put much thought into it so maybe the tiger was one of those things and he covered it up with something that had more meaning. An eclipsed sun. And he got the eye because he wanted to be mindful of his actions because he’s always being watched... he says this right after saying he got tattoos thoughtlessly, LOL! He doesn’t like the moon on his shoulder and intends to get it covered someday. It’s okay, the sun is eclipsing because of the moon inside his elbow. 

I’m sad to hear he had a bad tattoo experience here in the States.

ALL of the complex tattoo meanings that have been floating around have ALWAYS been fan speculation. 

And, Tattoo Proof Anon, I deleted your ask because nothing has been debunked. Don’t you have a life or something you should be paying attention to instead of parking on blogs waiting for your “gotcha” moment that’s never gonna arrive?

A nod to Polyc’s incredible talent:

HAHAHAHAHAHA Tae comes into the comments and JK is like, “hold on Taehyung, I’m talking about something sincere...” Bro don’t interrupt me, I’m talking to Army about something serious.

Switch to Instagram...

Then, for the first time in the history of Bangtan, two members do a simultaneous Instagram Live... 

The IG live... was short... JK seems tentative about doing the live in Instagram... man was all “don’t tell me what to do” while on Weverse but  Instagram has him questioning his morals. Tae smiles big when he sees Bam, apparently having not seen him in a while. Tae makes a little snarky “if it makes money comment” about it and then after playing with the Instagram filters and remarking that Weverse needs to make a zoom feature so they can all be on at the same time because two is not enough, Tae said “I gotta sleep, peace out.” Later, bro.

Back to Weverse...

Welive #2: Jungkook mentions he is going to detox for five days... and then eat something yummy. That lasted less than 24 hours as we’ll see in his #3 Welive.

He mostly is singing his heart out in between telling Armys not to lecture him.

Y’all didnt tell me he (half) sang Despacito!

Someone already put a clip of his Welive he just did singing Dreamers on YouTube:

I thought for sure he passed out on us.

And he finally calls it a night after the sun rises... sweet (stubborn) thing.

I’m choosing (right now) not to be concerned with Jungkook’s stoppage on working. However, I reserve the right to change my mind should more information become available.

JM’s Welive, JK #3 Welive and #4 (if they put it back up), to come after the Weverse translations are provided. 

[shatteredwriters]

a small headcanon fix-it drabble, with Ted deciding to stay

(inspo from Notting Hill)

“Care to accompany me to the press room?”

Ted’s eyes sparkle, a sly grin on his face.

“What’s in the press room?”

Rebecca is looking anywhere but his face.

“Do you trust me?”

At this, she glances up sharply. Rebecca searches those brown depths, trying to discern exactly what Ted is doing. He’s leaving in three hours and that is final. Nothing to be done about it.

Taking a deep breath, Rebecca gives him a small nod. Ted delicately grabs her hand and pulls her towards her office door. And he doesn’t let go.

When she steps into the press room, Rebecca blinks in surprise. The entire team is there seated in the chairs, even the coaching staff, Keeley, and Trent. They all turn to look expectantly at her.

Ted leads her to the front row, a hastily scribbled Boss Ass Bitch on placard on the chair.

Rebecca sits, completely stunned and confused. As he’s done countless times before, Ted climbs up the stairs to the chair seated at the front of the room.

“Now, I’ll take a few questions, fire away.”

Rebecca turns and watches hands shoot up in the air.

Ted points to Jaime.

“Coach, any final words on the end of the season?”

“Y’all know how proud I am of ya, and I’m mighty glad to have spent the last three seasons with this team. Couldn’t have asked for a better group to learn from and grow with. As for this last season, we may not have won the whole thing but we did give them a run for their money, didn’t we?”

Ted chuckles and points to another hand. Roy stands and gruffly asks, “How long do you plan to stay in London?”

“No time at all, I’m afraid. Leave tonight.”

Another hand.

“Is there anythin’ that might change your mind, Ted?” Keeley asks.

“Well,” Ted pauses, and scratches his head. “There might have been, but I’m not sure.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Her follow-up question makes Ted smile.

“See there is this woman, this friend. For a moment or two, over the last few years of friendship, I considered there might be more to it. Something that burned a bit deeper than normal pals, so to speak.”

“Are there any circumstances that you and she might be more than friends?” Beard’s voice sounds from near the back of the room.

“I had hoped there could be.”

Ted looks now at Rebecca, gazing deeply into her watery green eyes.

“It took me a few days to come to a realization. Because this woman had opened her heart up to me, you know? And I was scared for a bit. Acted like a ‘daft prick,’ excuse my language. But then I realized that being scared didn’t mean it was the wrong choice. I was just afraid of bein’ hurt. And I believe, now, I may have…reconsidered.”

One by one, the team rises. Rebecca has tears running down her face. Ted gets down from the platform and kneels in front of her, his eyes earnest.

“Roy, mind askin’ your question again?”

“Ted, how long do you plan to stay in London?”

Taking Rebecca’s hand in his own, Ted squeezes it lightly. With his other he wipes her cheeks and leaves his thumb resting on her cheekbone. She’s shaking her head, overcome with emotion.

“Indefinitely.”

[thebreakfastgenie]

I mean… I assume you wouldn’t reblog a post by an anti-feminist because if you took it out of context it could be making a good point, even though in context it was meant to be an anti-feminist point, right? I mean, you might, if you happened to not notice the source, but presumably you would feel bad about it and want to clarify afterwards that you had done so unintentionally. And when someone with a username that refers to “gendiebrainrot” reblogs a stupid post that uses it as proof that “y’all” are sexist… you and I both know that OP making a stupid, insidious sexist joke doesn’t mean all trans people and/or allies agree, but that’s exactly what gendiebrainrotreceipts was implying with their post.

Also frankly I don’t exactly agree with or appreciate you “correcting” me on the use of the word “gendie”. I don’t want to go so far as to call it a slur, because I don’t really think it escalates to that, but it’s a rude term, and just because rude terms for a particular group can also be wielded towards allies of that group, that doesn’t mean it isn’t designed to hurt a particular group most of all.

anon I will be real with you, my reading comprehension is not at 100% right now and this is a lot of text.

I mean, yes, I know what that user was doing now because you pointed out the username. I was just agreeing with the reason you assumed I reblogged it and providing a little elaboration.

I wasn't trying to correct you, just noting the usage I've observed. I didn't feel great about how you defined it in your original ask, I felt a little condescended to, but I let it go because I figured it was probably unintentional and tone isn't easy to communicate via anonymous tumblr ask. TERFs use terms like "genderist" to paint all support for trans people as "gender ideology" and I thought that was relevant. That's all.

I really can't engage in a conversation like this right now because physically and mentally I am not up to it. You were correct in the first ask.

[hyeque]

would you perhaps like to elaborate on mean bf!tsukki and shy gf bc that is one of my favorite rs dynamics ever and tsukki just SATISFIES that for me iykwim :’’-)

yes i know exactly what you mean anon, let’s dive in

tsukishima who before you two started dating teases you a lot but absolutely will get dealt defensive when someone else teases you. he’s the only one allowed to do that. if you try to bring this up he will outright deny it.

tsukishima who gets mad when he sees you talking to other guys. he always confronts the guy later on and tells them to back off. you get confused when guys start avoiding you like the plague.

tsukishima who aggressively asks you out, he just doesn’t know how to properly ask people out in a way that’s pleasant (man doesn’t get social cues rip) and is internally grateful when you say yes (after recovering from a stroke of course since he asked you out)

mean bf!tsukki who always grabs you by the neck to let you know who’s in charge when you start getting a little bratty. he doesn’t tolerate that shit and you know it

mean bf!tsukki who slaps your thigh when you aren’t paying attention to him explaining your homework. he doesn’t want to waste anytime, the sooner y’all get done with work, the sooner he can make out with you

mean bf!tsukki who likes to lean down to your ear and whisper in it to fluster you on purpose because he loves how easily riled up you can get

mean bf!tsukki who whenever greeting you doesn’t say anything but just leans down and turns his cheek towards you for a greeting kiss. if you don’t give him one he gets really moody and petty. will ignore you until you do.

mean bf!tsukki who roughly grabs you by the collar of your shirt if you’re ever straying away in a large crowd. scolds you and tells you to pay more attention to your surroundings or it’ll be your fault if you get lost.

mean bf!tsukki who says he hates it when you call him ‘tsukki’ but the minute you call him by his full surname the man is scowling. he won’t answer unless you unless you say ‘tsukki’ or ‘kei’.

mean bf!tsuki who always purposely places things on high shelves so you have to ask him to get it (which is a pain m) depending on his mood he may have you beg just because the mf is a sadist (which is an even bigger pain).

mean bf!tsukki who demands you wear strawberry lip gloss bc he’s obsessed with the taste of it when you two make out. doesn’t listen to you when you say not to leave hickies behind. claims people need to know who you belong to.

hehe i could go on forever anon but i will stop here almost went nsfw but chile whew

[thememerman]

Can we just,.,.accept that both Crosshair and Hunter had their reasons for doing what they did?? And honestly neither of them really did anything wrong??

Hunter left Crosshair because he tried to kill them. He didn’t understand anything about the chip, he really thought Crosshair had just lost his mind. And as soon as he learned about it and how to fix it, we immediately jumped to episode 8 where Crosshair tried to incinerate them with a jet engine. He tried to communicate that the chip was affecting him, and Crosshair didn’t care. Hunter couldn’t even get himself or Omega out of that situation unharmed. He had no way to snag Crosshair from his squadron of stormtroopers out for murder. After Bracca, Hunter was focused on getting Omega back because she’s just a kid; she isn’t with the empire, she hasn’t been chasing them down and almost killing them. From Hunter’s POV, the possibility of getting Crosshair to come with them willingly or even at all is looking bleak and even though he knows it’s not Crosshair’s fault, he’s been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the people relying on him safe and right now he doesn’t think Crosshair is relying on him. And honestly, how were they even supposed to know where Crosshair was half the time? He wasn’t on Kamino 24/7 and the Batch isn’t exactly swimming in imperial informants. But that aside, of course he was thinking about Crosshair; Hunter is loyal to a fault and you can just see the emotional pain that flashes across his face whenever Crosshair is mentioned because that’s his little brother and he couldn’t save him and he feels like he failed. Hunter never was and I don’t think ever can be indifferent when it comes to the people he loves. Whether you like it or not, Hunter was trying his best to keep everyone safe and stop running suicide missions because the galaxy was changing and he was trying to change too. He did nothing wrong.

Now Crosshair.

To all of you calling him a Nazi and saying that the animators and writers intentionally lightened his skin just to make a racist show of dominance, stop it. He was referring to their genetic enhancements being superior. That’s it. He’s always hated regs because let’s be fair the regs were never exactly good to him either (AFTERMATH). Now let’s just take a look at how the chip works shall we!! We know from Rex and Wrecker that clones know what they’re doing while under control of the chip and they’re powerless to stop themselves. So we know in Aftermath that the chip was strengthened to an insane degree, and Crosshair could still see himself taking head shots on his brothers and trying to murder them and he couldn’t stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He was powerless. And then the Batch left; at this point he probably understands that his brothers had to go. They’d regroup. They’d know this wasn’t his fault and they’d come back.

Months pass. Crosshair doesn’t know about the solemn looks the Batch exchange when he’s mentioned. Crosshair doesn’t know that they can barely get food for themselves. Crosshair doesn’t know that Wrecker has flat out said he misses him. Crosshair doesn’t know how Tech said “it doesn’t appear he’ll be needing it” with a twinge of sadness in his voice while giving Omega his comm. Crosshair doesn’t know how much Hunter hates himself for leaving and that Hunter was always planning on going back to him someday because someday he’d have the perfect plan and he could save everyone this time. How could Crosshair know?

More time passes. Crosshair probably still has his chip on but he’s still in there, watching himself become more and more important to the Empire. No rescue attempts. Not one. How awful does he have to feel?? They went to get Echo out of Skako with no backup and they didn’t even know Echo and they can’t go back for him? And here’s the Empire, giving him power and some semblance of control. Things are changing fast and now he has nobody but himself to adjust with, and besides, he’s always had an egotistical side so maybe being a commander and putting the regs in their place isn’t so bad to him after all. He’s alone. He adapts or he dies, that’s the job and that’s all he has now.

Onto Bracca!! If Crosshair is telling the truth about getting his chip out, I firmly believe it had to have been after the events of Reunion. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise; “if I wanted you dead, you would be” sweetheart giving the order to have them incinerated and starting to walk away really seems like you wanted them dead and then going from ordering Omega to be executed to telling Hunter that if he cares about her he should let her go and be safe away from them??? You can’t tell me that Bracca!Crosshair wouldn’t have dragged Omega back into the training room and killed her right there just to keep them from choosing her over him. So let’s just assume for now that Crosshair wasn’t lied to and his chip is out (I’m still holding onto a scrap of hope to the contrary because A. there’s no scar B. HE’S STILL HOLDING HIS HEAD and C. my boy isn’t making any SENSE he just killed off a bunch of Imperial stormtroopers to convince the Batch to join his Empire that he cares so much about??) it had to have happened after Bracca I said what I said idc. If the chip is out, I’m sure his head is still an absolute foggy mess because lord only knows what cranking those chips up to full strength several times will do to you, but suddenly he’s realizing that he’s still angry with them. He’s still hurt. He’s still very much alone. Maybe they never cared about him at all.

And don’t get me started on any “if he did any of this willingly he is irredeemable” garbage. How many times did Kallus almost kill the Ghost crew?? I’m sorry, was it not Kallus who ordered the Lasat genocide?? Don’t take this the wrong way, I adore Kallus and his redemption arc was one of the most beautiful things about Rebels but the point is if he can do all of those horrible things for the Empire for years and is still allowed a redemption stemming from realizing everything he thought he was fighting for was a fiction, THEN SO IS CROSSHAIR. With that side note out of the way let’s think about how alone and betrayed Crosshair feels by the Batch and let’s realize that after they left Ryloth, after they left him again, what does he want?? He wants them. He doesn’t want to kill them, he doesn’t want them imprisoned and he doesn’t want to make them pay. He wants to fight side by side with them again, he wants his brothers back. And even though he’s so beyond hope that they still care about him, heck he literally said “don’t make the same mistake twice; don’t make me your enemy” he thinks they were enemies and he still cares about them so freaking much that he went through an entire elaborate scheme to get the whole Batch on Kamino and set up the stormtroopers’ deaths to prove his loyalty that they could have if they just gave him some of their loyalty too. “Loyalty means everything to the clones” is starting to get a really bitter taste innit??

The point of this longwinded rant my friends is to beg y’all to stop being so black and white about these two. They’re both human, they both have made mistakes and have regrets, they’re both trying their best to survive in a galaxy flipped upside down. Things played out how they had to and they’re both victims of the real villain of Star Wars, who has always been Palpatine. The fact that there is so much to unpack with these two characters shows how flipping amazing the writers are!! They’re so layered and complex it’s literally like they’re real!! So please. Stop hating on them so freaking loudly. They’re my boys and they both deserve a warm hug and a nap after the season they’ve had

[cardinal-copia-popia]

My Little Ghuleh

I wanted to write something short and featuring Secondo, so I came up with this! Sorta kinda NSFW, but nothing explicit (yet, I could easily have a part two of this if y’all are interested 👀).

Mirrored here on my AO3!

Secondo x Female Reader

The last thing you ever expected was to draw the attention of the middle Emeritus brother. Never in a million years did you think that you were his type, and yet he had taken a definite interest in you. In fact, it shocked you to the point that you began hiding from him, a fact he seemed to realize. 

He scared you, plain and simple. 

You did not know him outside mass, so you only ever really saw him when he was in his papal paint and vestments. Granted, you thought he was hellishly attractive, but the thought of ever talking to him terrified you.

When Secondo realized you were purposefully avoiding him, gaining your attention seemed to become a game to him. If he saw you making a beeline away from him, he would smirk and turn away as if to leave you alone, but then you would round a corner, and there he would be, right in front of you.

“Sister,” he would say with almost a purr in his voice. “Pardon me.”

He would then step away just enough to let you pass but still have to brush up against him as you did so. Your cheeks would invariably heat up as you stuttered out something in your attempt to escape the situation as quickly as possible. He always seemed pleased with your reaction.

But just because you found actually being around him difficult did not mean you did not enjoy these little encounters. In fact, as time went on, you found yourself looking forward to seeing him, even though you still wanted to run away. After all, running away always seemed to bring him back… You wondered if he was ever going to get fed up with your constant avoidance, but Secondo appeared to come up with even more elaborate, though seemingly innocent, ways to get you flustered. You, too, began to dream up ways to “accidentally” run into him, though your fantasies usually ended with the two of you in a… compromising situation.

You were surprised by the first fantasy you had that involved Secondo whisking you away to a secluded spot to have his way with you. And after the first one, they only got worse, which only made you more flustered to see him in person afterward as the mental images you had conjured filled your mind. And from the smug look on his face, it was like he knew. He knew exactly what you were dreaming about.

He finally caught you during confession. Or rather, he finally got you to admit to enjoying the game you two were playing, even though you had no idea it was him you were confessing to — you thought it was Primo. Even after your confession of how you always looked forward to seeing him, that the encounters thrilled you and each innocuous touch he bestowed upon you only made you want him more, you still had no idea that you had just confessed your ever-growing attraction to the object of your ever-growing fantasies. He even let you leave the confessional, completely unaware until later that night.

Sister Imperator had you working late that day, so by the time you had finished eating and were finally heading back to your dorm, it was late. You were exhausted, and your bed was calling you. The very last thing you expected was to walk into your room and find Secondo there waiting for you.

“Sister,” he said in that same tone that had you shivering with want. 

A sly smile tugged at his painted lips. He still had on his papal paint and vestments, but the paint was a bit smudged from having worn it all day. Even so, he still looked dangerously sexy.

“Papa,” you managed to say, your voice stronger than you anticipated. 

He stood from his seat at your desk, clasping his hands behind his back. “Please forgive the intrusion at this late hour, but… A little birdie told me something interesting. Something I think you might also be interested in.”

You frown. “Oh?”

“Sì.” Secondo began walking, making slow circles around you. “I have been informed that there is a sister who… desires my affections… Of course, upon hearing this, my interest was piqued. I would now like to find out more.” He stopped behind you with very little distance between the two of you. “You… would not happen to know this sister, would you? I would very much like to know just how badly she… wants this.”

As he said this, he trailed the backs of his gloved fingers down your arm. You could not answer, your body and breath trembling. How had he found out? Surely Primo would not have told.

Secondo stepped even closer, close enough that you could feel his breath on your ear. “Because, you see, little ghuleh,” he murmured. “I would like to tell her that I desire her very much as well.”

You took a deep breath. “Y-you do?”

“Sì,” he purred, drawing out the word just so that it had you weak in the knees. 

He slid an arm around your waist as if he knew you were on the verge of collapsing. The movement pulled you against him. If he had not known you were trembling before, he knew now. Being pressed against him like this stole your breath away completely. Secondo traced his free hand up your body to your neck, which he lightly caressed for a moment before moving his fingers to your chin. He turned your head toward him, his mismatched gaze flicking searchingly over your face until he finally met your eyes. The intensity you found in his made you want to look away, but you were mesmerized, now entirely under his spell.

“Tell me, my ghuleh. Tell me you want me.”

You breathed out shakily, your gaze dropping momentarily to his lips. "I want you, Papa."

Secondo hummed low in approval. "Then tell me, sister… Tell me one of your fantasies."

You could scarcely believe this was happening. It felt all too surreal. He was so close to you that if you moved even just a little bit, you would be kissing him.

"I… I'm rather fond of the one w-where you... pin me to the wall." 

Secondo tilted his head, pressing his lips to your jaw, making you break off with a gasp. 

"Go on, ghuleh, what was I doing to you?" he murmured, moving your head so he had better access to your neck.

You swallowed hard, closing your eyes at the feeling of his teeth lightly nipping at your skin. This; he was doing this. "You were… pulling up my habit, telling me how much you wanted to touch me." You gasped again, more audibly this time, as he bit down harder on your neck. "And you did that. You left a mark on me, telling me that I'm yours."

You heard something of a growl leave Secondo, a sound that you felt rumble in his chest that was still pressed against your back. The next thing you knew, he had you pinned to the wall next to your desk, your cheek against the cool wood, and his upper body keeping you in place. His arm that was still around you held you tightly to his lower half and away from the wall. Your eyes widened when you realized you could feel the effect all of this was having on him.

"Are you mine, little ghuleh?" he growled into your ear, his arm giving you a squeeze; his other hand was braced against the wall next to your head. 

You cut your eyes back at him. His expression was serious, but there was the unmistakable burning of lust in his eyes that had your knees, once again, weak and more heat pooling between your legs.

Speaking before had been a bit easier, but now with him pressed to you like he was, hyper-aware of each breath he took and the pounding of his heart against your back… You managed a nod. Without warning, he spun you around, now pinning you to the wall with his hips. His gloved hand came up to hold your jaw, forcing you to look at him.

"Use your words, Sister."

"Y-yes. Yes, Papa, I'm yours."

Another sly smirk curved his lips. "Good. Because if we do this, little ghuleh, you'll be mine and mine alone." He let go of your jaw and slowly slid his hand down your side, bunching up the fabric of your habit as he went that by the time his hand reached your hip, your legs were fully exposed to the cool air. "You want this?"

"Yes."

"You want your Papa to touch you?"

You sighed harshly and closed your eyes again, letting your head fall back against the wall. "Yes!"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Papa!"

Secondo hummed again and kissed your cheek. "Then I will give you what you want, my little ghuleh."

[vidalinav]

but i just KNOW Azriel would be obsessed with having nesta saying his name when they’d be doing it. Like, you want it? Then say my name.

It’d be like, his whole thing, and she’d be like, hmmmm I could psychoanalyse this, but dick just too good, you know what i’m saying?

Y’all both are trying to get my in trouble, but here you go. @teenagemutantninjaskrtels

NSFW probably since I can only write Nezriel in the context of Nesta “being railed” by Azriel. 

~

Nesta tries hard not to whine--to hold in her moans and her gasps and those petulant pouts, that pitch of her voice that comes tumbling out that must mean she wants him to go faster, or deeper, or harder still. She’s ravenous in her pursuit of pleasure and Azriel only kisses at her swollen lips, suggesting she just say the word.

Nesta refuses, though, as she always does.

She covers her mouth with her hand instead. Sometimes she bites the pillow so she can keep herself from gasping it.

Azriel encourages her to be as loud as possible--neighbors or none. Everyone in Velaris should know he fucks the eldest Archeron. Loudly and proudly, the whole of Velaris should know how good he makes her feel. So Azriel goes harder still, faster still, rough as he leaves little bites on her skin. Whatever keeps her moaning for more—keeps that little whine on her lips.

Besides she knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. Nesta could sing his name again and again, just like he likes and he’ll give her exactly what she asks for. He’ll insert another finger. He’ll circle his tongue around her clit. He’ll plunge so deep inside of her that her moans won’t even sound like they belong on this earth.

But first, she’ll say his name.

Nesta likes to play games, though. She’d rather suffer than be buried in bliss. She likes that tick of his brows, that serious look he gets when he knows she’s challenging him. Nesta smirks at that look, just as she does now. 

Azriel huffs a harsh reply, but she merely crosses her legs over his back as if she has all the time in the world, no place to be, and she wraps her arms around his neck in such a leisurely Nesta way. She reaches for his wings as if they belong to her. 

Azriel pulls her hands away, “you can touch them when you say it.”

Nesta hums, thoroughly amused as if she’s not being thoroughly fucked. “Will that be my reward?” Nesta laughs. A little breathless. A little flushed. She pretends to think about it, but Azriel knows this routine—that make me expression. “You’re awfully full of yourself, you know.”

“And you’re full of me,” he says, looking to where they join. Nesta traces his lips, and he already knows she likes the way his voice sounds so rough and deep. He raises a brow at how gone she looks--that sheen in her eyes that must mean she can only think of him and how he feels pulsing inside of her. 

Azriel doesn’t elaborate any further as to why he wants her to say his name. It could be because of that throaty voice in which she says it. The way it gasps out of her lips unconsciously. Could be because the only thing she’s thinking about is him. How good this feels. How beautiful they are when they come together.

“You could say it,” he urges, holding off his groan as she flutters around his cock. “Then I’d give you anything you asked for.”

Her legs squeeze at his hips, as if she can pull him even closer than they are. “Fast,” he says, whipping his hips forward. The movement makes her tits bounce and he swallows a gasp. “Hard,” he whispers as he tugs on a nipple with his teeth—rough just the way she likes it. “I could make it last,” he promises, and he begins to move slow enough that her breathing turns shallow. Nesta won’t like that much, he knows, as impatient as she is. But her face blooms a delicious red and he bites at her cheek there, too. “All night long, I’d take you just how you like.”

“You’re just asking for trouble,” she moans lightly. There’s a slight laugh in her tone. A petulant, stubborn laugh that says she doesn’t believe him.

In fact, she’ll probably say the wrong name just because she thinks it’s funny. Just because he’ll be aggravated enough to pound into her until she’s screaming.

Sometimes, he thinks that it’s more than that, though, and it’s hard not keep himself from coaxing it out of her softly. Lightly. Kisses to her eyelids, to her nose, to her forehead. Just say it and you’ll know you’re loved. 

Nesta’s eerily cautious about the words she calls out now. Ever since she says the wrong name. The first time, the second time, and the third. Over and over again, she tries to erase it. Azriel thinks she only needs practice. Just needs to taste his name and see that it’s sweeter than anyone else’s.

She says it so fondly, too. Her lips are so sweet and red and he pulls it from her with pure pleasure.

“Please just say it,” he pleads.

Nesta offers him a reprieve, nipping at his neck. “Azriel,” she says in the depths of his skin.

Azriel sighs a great breath of relief. The mere utterance of it is a blessing and he can’t help but weave his hands through her hair as he holds her close to his chest.

She doesn’t have to say anymore. Once is enough, but she presses her nose to his skin. 

“Azriel,” she repeats. She kisses at his jaw as she winds her arms around his neck, finally grasping at his wings. 

“Azriel. I only want you.”

~

Y’all should know that I saw this ask and I screamed. It was too good. 

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

the grand santa fe barbiere di siviglia write up:

this show was pure. fucking. GOLD.

i just HAVE to give y’all the play by play because it was pure gold.

so:

-the overture was mostly unstaged. what do i mean by mostly?

well, the opera started with this:

yes, that is a mustache made out of greenery, complete with LED oranges.

about halfway through the overture, an enormous bust of Rossini emerged from beneath the stage and then slid forward until it perfectly matched up with the mustache. the audience loved it, and rightly so.

-the basic conceit of the production was “18th century but with modern touches”, which is often a struggle to pull off but this production (directed by Stephen Barlow) did it incredibly masterfully.

-Fiorello was great and also incredibly cute.

-he was dressed in a classic 18th century look but walked on with a GAP bag, which made the audience lose it.

-the musicians were a full-on mariachi band, which was hilarious especially given that Rossini’s orchestration there does not sound like a mariachi band.

-Almaviva walked on in 18th century costume, took the GAP bag, and quickly changed to look like a student at the “University of Sevilla”.

-one of the mariachi dudes conducted using the little straw thing from a Starbucks coffee cup

-the chorus gave 120%

-they did a fuckin KICKLINE

-Berta took the trash out before Figaro’s entrance, went “Che?”, and then went back into the house

-i should also mention that the house was made out of the bust of Rossini: the front door was where his mouth should be and the eyes were the windows

-“Largo al factotum” was CHEF’S FUCKIN KISS

-for one thing Joshua Hopkins is brilliant

-Figaro had six assistants

-each one of them gave a haircut to a toreador

-the repeated “Figaro” cries were sung individually by the assistants instead of by Figaro, which became hilarious when he started to continue the “Figaro”s but instead turned back to the last assistant and cried “Bravo!”

-also Figaro broke the fourth wall and started conducting for a bit

-at the end, the assistants held up what seemed to be mirrors but when turned around were actually signs that spelled “FIGARO”

-the mustache was a source of much physical comedy, ridiculous attempts at hiding/blending in, etc

-Berta had a heart box of chocolates. Bartolo threw it out but Figaro ate some of the chocolates before deciding he didn’t like them and putting them back with the trash.

-Almaviva offered (and later gave) Figaro an entire suitcase of cash

-Figaro and Almaviva practiced soldier and drunken soldier moves during their duet

-the audience loved them so much that everyone started clapping halfway through their duet

-also Almaviva had golden retriever energy and was fuckin fantastic

-anyway

-they were great

-the house had an elaborate cage like structure with a huge swing on it

-this Rosina SLAYED

-Basilio had an Orange brand computer and cellphone, which was objectively hilarious

-also this Basilio was absolutely fantastic

-INSANE range

-“La calunnia” was essentially “Basilio teaches Bartolo about how modern technology works”

-at one point, Bartolo started trying to write on the laptop with a quill and ink, which was hilarious

-Bartolo learning about (and loving) modern technology was great

-also i have to say this Bartolo just about stole the show

-he was fuckin GOLD

-think the amount of comedy Jonathan Groff produced in Hamilton

-then multiply that by a hundred

-Rosina and Figaro had ultimate BROTP energy, which is EXACTLY as it should be

-their chemistry was perfect

-Bartolo’s aria was fucking PERFECTION INCARNATE

-he got SWEATBANDS and a YOGA MAT and spent most of the aria doing what could only be described as “calisthenics” while delivering perfect patter

-then Berta walked in and gave Rosina some sort of drug to give to Bartolo that caused him to do the bass claw (iykyk) and then have a problem where he could not sit in a chair without sliding out and then Rosina was panicking

-(btw, pretty much NO ONE could sit in a chair correctly…if you know, you know)

-Berta was perfection btw

-had the perfect “wtf???” reaction always

-also she kept chatting with someone into a rotary phone

-while Drunk Soldier Almaviva and Bartolo were talking in the street, a random po-po walked by and they had to act natural, which was hilarious

-Bartolo took Berta’s duster and tried to use it as a weapon against Almaviva, but Almaviva pulled a gun on him

-BASILIO CAME IN WEARING BEATS

-the physical comedy was IMMACULATE

-the “we’re all like statues” scene was fucking HILARIOUS, especially when Figaro decided to use his handkerchief to slowly dust off Bartolo’s legs

-also props to the chorister who fanned (a fainted) Rosina perfectly in time with the music

-the Act I finale was INCREDIBLE.

and then there was intermission and i didn’t think the show could get any funnier.

i.

was.

WRONG.

-the swing was replaced with Rosina in a bubble bath.

-Bartolo just continued to be chef’s kiss.

-this next part just might have been the funniest fucking part of the entire show

-for the music teacher disguise they disguised Almaviva as

-wait for it

-a Mormon missionary music teacher.

-y’know, the way they’re depicted in everything I’ve ever seen about The Book of Mormon.

-same outfit.

-Almaviva walked in with golden retriever energy

-and the entire audience LOST ITS SHIT.

-and then Almaviva proceeded to give Bartolo several copies in increasing size of the Book of Mormon.

-I FUCKING DIED

-Rosina was dressed like an old Hollywood star for most of Act II and I WANT THAT COSTUME SO BADLY

-“Contro un cor” and all surrounding hijinks RULED

-Bartolo deliberately sang nearly all his song afterwards flat and with plenty of physical comedy

-the crash scene was amazing because immediately after the crash, Figaro walked back onstage holding a box labeled “crash box” and proceeded to shake it until it made crashing noises again

-the other principals wore masks during the scene where they’re gaslighting Basilio into thinking he’s sick

-also they were all giving him doctor examinations in time with the music

-SEVERAL GUYS WITH HAZMAT SUITS CAME TO TAKE BASILIO AWAY ON A STRETCHER

-but first the other principals wheeled him around and gave him grapes and did a little dance number around the stretcher

-Bartolo blew a bunch of shaving cream into the air at one point

-also only half his face got shaved

-Berta’s aria was AWESOME

-about halfway through, four guys in tuxes came on and suddenly we’re in an old Hollywood dance number Rossini-style

-they whipped off her 18th century maid costume in one of the fastest onstage changes i’ve ever seen to reveal a 1930s look, and the audience cheered

-one of the guys threw her a rose bouquet at the end

-the storm featured a guy pretending to get blown away

-also Almaviva and Figaro getting increasingly tall ladders in several quick on-offs

-Figaro got so annoyed with Rosina and Almaviva’s lovey-dovey stuff that he just straight up LEFT

-only to come back in when he realized they were in trouble

-the wedding scene (and Bartolo’s reactions): perfection.

-the mariachi band came back for Almaviva’s last aria and the end

-Rosina got wheeled around on a suitcase cart at the end

-and at the VERY end, the mustache disappeared so the ending looked more or less like this:

-tbh this likely wasn’t even the half of all the SHENANIGANS

-but yeah

-this production was ICONIC

-and of course all the performers were iconic

-Kevin Burdette (Dr. Bartolo) I am officially in love with you

-actually I’m in love with everyone in this

-couldn’t have asked for a better first trip to the santa fe opera ❤️❤️❤️

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[realcube]

TELLING THE BNHA BOYS YOU WANT TO SIT ON THEIR FACE | hcs + drabble

navi | masterlist | taglist 

thank you to anon for this request <3

characters ��� kaminari, bakugo, sero & tamaki

content warning ♡ sexual references, fem!reader, all aged up! - minors dni

denki kaminari 

♡ it depends how confidently you say it 

♡ if you’re clearly embarrassed, he’ll be too

♡ but if you own your statement, it’ll prompt him to be more self-assured and forward 

♡ so he’ll either by completely red in the face and tell you to stop messing with him, or his lips will curl into a suggestive smirk as he encourages to act on your claim 

♡ also if you’re not really the type of person who talks about sexual acts too often or casually, he’ll pop a hard-on 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥ 

he was lazily sprawled out across the two-seated couch, his legs lay were you were going to sit and it took every bone in your body to resist the urge to just yank his legs away yourself, since you had been training all day so your legs were in agony, all you wanted to do was sit down and relax. but he prevented you from doing that, so you finally spoke up, “denki, could you move your legs, please?”

kaminari looked up from his phone to see you pouting, bags in hand as you waited for him to let you take a seat. he was feeling especially mischievous today so instead of just retracting his legs like he usually would, he shrugged and hummed, “eh, no. the floor looks comfy though. maybe try that.” 

you scoffed, dropping your bags and hastily wrapping your hands around his ankles before aggressively tugging on them, “move it! you’re stupid fucking face looks comfy!”

he froze, staring at you with wide eyes but you continued to pull at his legs as you had yet to process what you just said as you meant in more as trash-talk rather in a sexual way. 

suddenly, he flipped his position so he way now laying down on his back, his head resting on the seat you were trying to obtain as he stared up at you with starry eyes, “sit, then!”

katsuki bakugo

♡ goes red in embarrassment, anger and horny 

♡ at first he yells about how immature you are but then his mindless threats begin to turn more..erotic?

♡ he’s like ‘fucking do it then! sit on my face! i fucking dare you! don’t be a pussy! do it!’

♡ and you kinda just stand there like ??? is he being serious ???

♡ he was being dead serious 

♡ he can’t have anyone knowing that he wants you but he does want you so he shows it through anger and hopes that you are aroused rather than frightened

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥ 

you walked into the theatre by bakugo’s side, not as his date or anything - definitely not - but because he had ‘accidentally’ bought an extra ticket for a movie that you had been talking to your co-workers at the agency about and now that you thought about it, you recalled that bakugo was in ear-shot of the conversation while he was making his coffee in the lounge. 

anyway, the movie had yet to begin but most who were seated remained silent as they watched the trailers. he glanced at you before shifting his gaze onto all the rows of seats in front of y’all, “where do ya want to sit?” he mumbled, casually popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. 

he simply asked just in case you had a preferred location or an eye-sight problem that he was unaware of so you almost made him choke on his corn when you replied with a click of your tongue, “your face.”

once he coughed up the kernel lodged in this esophagus, he turned to shoot you a deadly glare, “what the fuck?!” 

afraid that you might have made him uncomfortable, you threw you hands up in defence and hastily tried to change the subject before he created a scene in the middle of the silent theatre, “sorry! i just meant it as a joke- erm, sitting at the back would be nic--”

before you could finish, bakugo grabbed you by the collar and dragged you out of the room, towards the cinema bathroom and..you know what happens next. 

hanta sero

♡ probably incited you to say it lol

♡ he’s like ‘aight bet’

♡ you should know better than to try tease this man bc he is going to make you follow up

♡ not forcefully, but he becomes so racy that it’s hard for you to not just..take a seat :)

♡ he doesn’t get flustered bc he’s too cool for that (⌐■_■)

♡ also he’s horny asf all the time so even if he’s literally never talked to you before, he’ll immediately be escorting you to an area where y’all can be in private

♡ after he’s made you cum for like the fifth time he’ll be like ‘so what’s your name? :)’

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥ 

friendly banter was something you should’ve learned to avoid. from when bakugo chased you around the school after you made a comment about deku being number one, to when iida gave you a 20 minute lecture when he heard you joke about skipping class - jesting with your friends never ended well for you so why did you think today was any exception?

though those things were in past, you had moved on; you had gotten a fresh new job at a new agency along with an old classmate of yours who you’ve since gotten closer to - pro-hero cellophane. 

you were casually chatting to him in the break-room, making friendly conversation with him as you had deduced that your bad luck with banter was exact that, bad luck - hardly anything that can’t be avoided, or so you thought. 

“exactly!” sero nodded, agreeing with the comment you made on internships, “my mentor kept making me go on these elaborate missions with them but seriously, i was just there to get a recommendation letter, save some people, have a hot hero-girl sit on my face then dip, y’know?” 

you chuckled, prompting him to continue, “well, did it work?”

“i got my recommendation letter but unfortunately, no hot hero-girls sat on my face.” he explained, he taking a sip of his coffee before eyeing you, his frown slowly curling into a titillating smirk, “you could change that, though.”

your eyes widened, but you were somewhat mentally prepared for him to say that so you were quick to blurt out, “yes please.”

tamaki amajiki

♡ he doesn’t get what you mean at first-

♡ like he thought it was a threat..or maybe you were making fun of him

♡ you, mirio or nejire have to explain to him what it means

♡ then he passes away ⚰

♡ like mans is blushing so hard 

♡ he can’t look you in the eye for 3 months after that 

♡ it’s not that you made him uncomfortable or anything, he just gets like that around the subject of intercourse

♡ if he ever starts talking to you again, you know better than to ever make a dirty joke around him again

♡ but when y’all start dating - maybe a year into the relationship - he’ll randomly turn to you one day and be like ‘remember that joke you made over a year ago about sitting on my face? yeah, that one. do you think you could maybe like..do it? like right now, please? 👉👈’

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥ 

you sat on the bed beside tamaki, absentmindedly scrolling through your phone as he played animal crossing next to you, on his switch. you were looking through pinterest for date ideas as your one year anniversary with tamaki was fast approaching and you wanted it to be special. 

you opened a picture of a couple at the arcade, looking as though they were having a fun time so your natural instinct was to ask tamaki i he was down, “baby, what do you think about the arca--”

“(y/n).” he interjected with a shakily, “um, remember that time we partnered up for a chemistry project?”

you giggled, no clue as to where he was going with this but humming along, none the less, “yep, i do! that was a while ago though, tama.”

amajiki nodded, awkwardly averting his gaze, his cheeks visibly flushing red as he recalled the events that happened - he couldn’t believe he was bringing this up again, after he tried for so long suppress the memory. but currently, his need to hear your sweet moans overwhelmed his shyness, “do you remember the joke you made?”

you hummed in thought for a moment before it hit you. you peered at his with an eyebrow quirked, mentally questioning if you were remembering it correctly. “um, yes.”

“well, can you?”

“can i what?”

tamaki frowned, before leaning in and whispering his scandalous request - he didn’t want to say this aloud but desperate times call for desperate measures. “sit on my face.”

[omiiomiaaus]

Ahh some who writes for aone!!! My polar bear needs more love!!!❤️ could I request an HC where you surprise aone st practice but the team doesn’t know who you are and there like 👀 aone is talking and smiling and omg did he just kiss someone?? Typa of vibe? I hope that makes sense LOL thank you again for writing!!🥰

Did he just... kiss someone?

(Aone takanobu)

I’m excited for this one I’m gonna make it kinda funny but omggg yess bby needs screen time and more loveeee I kinda made it more about the boys reaction rather than interaction with aone hope that’s okay.

Okay so...

You were bored one day and decided to visit him at practice

What else would you do text him? Boring !

Strutting into the gym you go sit on the bleachers with everyone staring.

“Umm who tf is that?” Futakuchi said

“Are fans aloud at practice?” - kogane

You see aone and wave to him

NFJGNG he’s like walking over all scary and shit

But it’s cute to you 🥺

“Oh no he’s gonna scare them away” - futakuchi

“Wait wait don’t be mean to fans” - kogane

He would be surprised to see you here

You weren’t hiding your relationship but it wasn’t exactly out there

Everyone’s probably cringing because oh my god aone is probably gonna embarrass you unintentionally when he tells you to get out

He walked up to you and said hi

He’s not necessarily shy he’s just reserved

You stand up from the bleacher and stood on the bench to hug him (yknow he’s huge lol)

The team: HUH???????

You’re surprised when he leans down to kiss you.

He never initiates kisses in public

Only when you’re alone 😏

Ummm ... did he just ? Did he just kiss someone?

Whole teams like: 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

“Hey baby how’s practice so far”

He has his arms wrapped around you and nodded his head and “hmm” lol

You let him get back to practice

He goes back like nothing happened

Not even addressing anything LMAO

Futakuchi’s like : 🤨 am I the only one who saw that?

Kagonegawa in his head: 🤩 WOAH AONE JUST KISSED SONEONE

Futakuchi kept staring at him like UMM HELLO? You’re not gonna elaborate?

“What?” Aone said confused at his captains confused expression

“Who is that aone?”

“Oh that’s y/n”

“And who is y/n to you?”

“My partner” 🤠

“YOU HAVE A (GIRLFRIEND)(BOYFRIEND)???? - kogane

You snapped your head up when you heard this

Did they really not know?

I mean how could they? Y’all never show pda other than walking close to each other

And flirt with each other

I mean... aone always walks you to class..

And brings you food

And you do the same

Wait it’s all starting to make sense now

How did they never notice?

Oblivious boys

All of a sudden you see aone waving you over

Walking up to the group of LANKY boys 😌

“Hi” you awkwardly said staring up at them bc wow damn bean stocks

“Guys this is y/n, they’ll be watching us practice”

Wow he spoke more than three words

“Nice to meet you”

“How long have you two been dating?”

“And you actually speak.. to them?”

Enough questions asked that they’ll ever get the answers to

They were on a little break when aone came up to you and sat down

He leaned his head on your shoulder and stayed there

The fact that he was being affectionate towards you in front of his teammates was really heartwarming

He loved you that much to feel comfortable enough to do that

You could see his teammates occasionally look over and be shocked at what they’re seeing

Aone was letting lose

Only when you were around

Talking and laughing ... out loud

Was a sight to see

And the team hopes you’ll come around more often so they can see their intense middle blocker smile

FJTJGJGB I need to write more for aone

- Omi <3

[angsty-nerd]

Meta: Echo’s Big Fight in 3x09

Let's talk about the Big Echo fight. Because wandering around in the fandom this past week, I’ve seen a lot of very specific conclusions as far as what they were or weren't arguing about, and I’m not sure my take on that scene really aligns with other folks. So let me try to break it down a bit and give y’all an alternative perspective on it.

To start with, the scene opens with Max on edge because they're breaking and entering. Liz is singularly focused on the mission, and he's kinda freaking out. Instead of responding to his concerns, Liz gets straight to business.

"Ooh, ooh, this is interesting. Heath left Genoryx two days after I did. Must have realized he didn't need to be working underneath their corporate thumb."

Liz is kinda projecting here. Heath never once displayed any discomfort with Genoryx as a company the way that she did. He wanted her to stay. He wanted the resources there. We know these things as an audience, and Liz would too if she was thinking through the big picture at this point in time.

Max, on the other hand, doesn't know any of that. Here's what Max hears from Liz: he hears surprise. He hears Liz acknowledge that this is unexpected news. And right as he’s processing this unexpected reveal...Max sees Heath's Wild Pony t-shirt.

Weird coincidence #1 from Max's POV was Heath (the guy who is currently so pissed at Liz that he won't take her calls) supposedly rescuing Liz's science out of the good of his heart so that Genoryx doesn’t get their hands on it? This doesn't add up.

Weird coincidence #2 was Heath quitting Genoryx - a decision Heath made that Liz wasn't expecting.

The Wild Pony t-shirt is now the 3rd thing that doesn't add up. And if the t-shirt clue isn't adding up for you, see my post about it here:

The T-shirt is strike 3 for Max. He can't really pretend that he's not suspicious of Heath anymore. So he broaches the subject with her.

"How much do you know about this guy, Heath? How close were you?"

Max is feeling uncomfortable and looking for more information. He's trying to make the clue make sense. Why would Heath have the T-shirt? Does he have a connection to Roswell that Liz doesn't know about? And Liz doesn’t listen.

"This isn't the time to be jealous about a boy I met."

For all that Liz is clinical and on mission, she jumps very quickly to assuming that Max is NOT on mission. Yes, Max is inherently more emotional than she is. But throughout the episode he's been asking questions about Heath and NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's one of the keys to me here. Max really is trying to give her the benefit of the doubt about him.

At Liz's house, he asked about "the boyfriend" but he wasn't doing it in a jealous or judgy way. If anything it could almost be interpreted as concern. He started with "were you happy" and only when Liz kind of metaphorically admitted that any happiness was a façade...that's when he brought Heath into it. And yeah, Liz says that he impacted her life and helped her grow, but she didn't exactly express romantic feelings that would make Max jealous. So when she basically jumped straight to the jealousy assumption instead of actually discussing this with him, he starts getting worked up. Because she is not hearing him. She is not acknowledging that the facts they have found during this investigation are not adding up. So he is honest and blunt about what he's thinking.

"I'm just saying it's possible that he took your one-of-a-kind alien spores and quit, so that, just like you, he could use the research himself, free of Genoryx."

Max is the one who brings the science into this conversation. Not Liz. And he's not criticizing or questioning HER application of the science. He's questioning the trustworthiness of Heath. Because the lies are starting to jump out at him like a friggin’ neon light.

BUT — now that he's specifically brought up the science, he has her attention. Because Max questioning her science is HER sore spot. So what does she say back to him? Something kinda judgy.

"That grand trust speech certainly had a short shelf life."

Side note: I really don't think there actually was a "grand trust speech" in this episode. I can think of a few scenes where there might have been an opportunity for one. In particular during the milkshake scene when he admits to saving her tapes. But they actually don't talk about trust in that scene. They talk about having hard conversations. They talk about moving forward instead of looking backwards. But they don't talk about trust. My guess is that there might have been content cut for time at some point in this episode, that may have included some grand declaration from Max, but that's really just speculation on my part.

Regardless…Liz's response to Max bringing up the science is to basically accuse him of not trusting her. Which is not what he was saying. He was not questioning her use of the science. He was questioning her trust in Heath through the context of her science. So he elaborates on what he IS saying, and as he does, he's getting more and more worked up...because this does relate directly to his personal fears, and, frankly, his buried trauma that he's never properly addressed.

"I trust you. Okay? But I don't trust some guy I have barely met with a secret that could endanger me, could endanger my family and break the frickin' Internet if it came out."

Max doesn't know Heath, and he doesn't trust Heath with a secret that could endanger Michael and Isobel. His emotions are escalating, because now he's thinking about the science that scares him in the hands of a guy that all signs points to being potentially untrustworthy, and he's triggered.

BUT he doesn't back up his argument. He doesn't point out the very specific evidence he's identified that Heath is probably lying to Liz.

And Liz is inherently reactive and sometimes overly defensive (see 1x09 list of Liz's flaws). So even though he's focused on Heath, she immediately reacts defensively and takes it as a criticism of HER.

"You think I would let myself be conned?"

"No, I think you came out here looking for a partner, and it could blind you."

*deep breath* and this is where it starts to get personal. And rough. Max isn't entirely wrong here. But he also kind of is. Liz didn't choose Genoryx for partnership. She was looking for resources, freedom to do the science she wanted to do, and to save her father from deportation.

But partnership? Yeah, Liz wanted that. But she wanted that from MAX. She was looking for partnership in life, not in science.

And now that Max has thrown that direct criticism out there, Liz is going to throw a bomb right back at him.

"Just because you sabotaged me when I thought you were mine does not mean that Heath would take the same path."

Ouch. This is the hardest line in this whole scene for me to work with. Because it is combative. And purposefully hurtful.

BUT…she is NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SCIENCE. She has not said a single word about her science in this argument. She moved past that. She had the epiphany that she was wrong and she apologized (3x03). That is in the past for her.

This argument, for Liz, is about betrayal. This is about her believing that they were going to be partners and move their lives forward together (2x12), and right when she believed in that future, Max made another massive decision that directly impacted her life (just like he did in 1x13) instead of working with her to make big decisions together.

"And just because you changed the wallpaper doesn't mean you've mended your blind spots."

I really hate this "change the wallpaper" line. It feels like they're mixing metaphors. Liz called her life a commercial. Max is saying that she's changed her decor. Like...pick one and stick with it.

That aside… I think this barb is about her arrogance. Earlier in the scene, she seemed baffled at the idea that Max believes she could have been conned by Heath, because Liz is used to always being the smartest person in the room. She thought she was smarter than Diego and he figured her out. She believed her lab was secure, but Diego (possibly) got in. Sometimes, like most scientists, Liz is so bogged down in the complicated, brilliant details she’s thinking through, that she misses simple things that contribute to the big picture. And I think that's what Max is getting at here. In her arrogance, she believes that she can control the Heath situation. But she's not acknowledging the human factor here - that Heath is a person who may have his own unspoken ulterior motives driving him. Just like Diego did. She's just not seeing what Max is seeing.

BUT - again I'll say. Max is also not communicating the scope of the evidence he is collecting. They're both wrong here.

"I have learned my lessons, but you... oh, my God, you sound an awful lot like the guy who blew up my lab. So forgive me, but you're making it perfectly clear why I felt like I had to go and change the wallpaper."

This is the only line where Liz even comes close to talking about her science, but again, she's talking about his betrayal. She's talking about him undermining their partnership. She's talking about her need for a change of scenery from HIM.

And that’s when Max blows out the safe and they put the fight on hold to finish their investigation.

But, to sum it up…the fight was all about trust and betrayal. It was necessary for them to work through it, though frankly? I wish they could have finished the discussion. Because instead of them coming to some sort of peace with their trust in each other, the truth came out about Heath, Liz realized that she was wrong, she apologized, and they moved forward together, on mission.

I can’t help pointing out though…after the fight and Liz's epiphany about Heath, Max and Liz spent at least 15 hours in a car together. And I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that they didn't talk about anything important for 15 hours. Fic writers assemble? 😆

Many thanks to @ober-affen-geil for doing a quick review and checking me on opinions vs facts. Very important.

And for my next trick… road trips, life choices, and Robert Frost! Coming soon to a Tumblr near you…