#lilith is naturally scared because she doesn’t have magic

[phddyke]

So I was re-watching the season finale of the Owl House and I noticed something:

I really like this image a lot. This is right after the Abomaton shadow falls over Raine and Lilith. She looks terrified, but Raine?

Raine just looks pissed off.

I really like that. I mean, there are a lot of emotions that Raine could conceivably be feeling: fear, concern about their ex-girlfriend, realization that some part of the plan failed, but they just look angry. People have pointed out that Raine is a powerful coven head who is constantly underestimated, and I think this is another demonstration of that. And although I didn’t like that the next time we seen Raine after this, they’ve been beaten very badly by the Abomaton, it does mean that they put up a damn good fight against it.

[pyroclastic727]

Is Amity autistic?

In the Owl House fandom, we hear a lot about how Luz is written to be ADHD. Now I would like to present the flipside: Amity is coded as autistic.

Here’s the breakdown.

Amity is touch-averse. “BuT aMiTy ToUcHeS LuZ aLL tHe TiMe” nice try. The key to autistic touch-aversion is only being okay with touch when she initiates it. And that totally matches up with Amity. See, Amity is really happy when she initiates touch with Luz. She’s also cool with it when Luz holds her hand after standing near her for enough time that Amity can predict an incoming touch. That’s because Amity consents to that touch and expects it.

But when other people touch her? She doesn’t take kindly to that. When Luz initially bumped into her at Covention, she snapped at her and degraded her. Even when she bumped into Luz in Enchanting Grom Fright, her initial instinct was to snap at Luz, since she didn’t expect to be touched. When Hooty touched Amity’s face without consent, she flipped out and beat him up. Not even Lilith beat Hooty up when he wrapped her up in his mucus-filled tube, but Amity gave Hooty the injuries we all wanted to see him with, because he breached her boundaries without her consent. Even as late as the last episode, Amity fell over when her face got close to Luz’s on the bleachers, because she didn’t expect it.

Amity stims. Okay, this one took me a while to catch, since most of the time, Amity is very controlled with her actions. This symptom isn’t very intense; her senses aren’t understimulated too often, and she really only does it when she’s really excited.

Mainly, when Luz offered to carry her. While she adorably scrambled for words, she also flapped her hands against her legs. At first I thought it was just a cute thing she did, but there’s more to it. She was so excited to be held by Luz that it showed up in her hands flapping...a common stim. With Amity feeling more comfortable around her new friends than the old ones, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more stimming in the future.

Amity always has The Mask as her expression. You know, the one with her eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly downturned. I also call it the Resting Blight Face, for...reasons.

At first I thought it was just a way to hide her true emotions, since her parents are assholes. But even though Luz makes her feel accepted, she keeps doing it. It’s more like...you know that feeling when you’re thinking really hard, or uncomfortable, or ashamed, or even just relaxed, and you can’t think of which expression to wear quickly enough, so you put on an unreadable one to tide people over? Apparently most people don’t do that, since allistic people tend to have expressions for those feelings, ones that arise naturally.

Another symptom of autism is having hard-to-read expressions, or being less expressive. In Amity’s case, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see a need to have an expression in calmer moments, so she just uses her usual expression.   

Amity hyperfixates. This has several facets, so I’ll break this down.

She initially hyperfixated on school. And that’s how she became top student. Amity Blight is who you would mistake for a “gifted student.” But make no mistake...she is not gifted, and gifted is a bullshit label used to overexert people and force them to keep school as their special interest for their entire lives (and I may have a bit of a vendetta against it). Anyways, we already know she’s a perfectionist. My theory is that Amity originally was hyperfocused on school--the Abominations track, to be exact--and that’s part of how she got so good. Then, her focus shifted, but the school expected her to keep being top student. Cue the perfectionism; she was no longer able to focus on school like she wanted to, but everyone expected her to, so she got insecure about it.

She hyperfixates on Azura, just like Luz did. Yeah, she keeps it secret from the world, for most of the time. But she definitely likes Azura a lot. I mean, she started to reconsider her opinion on Luz when Luz offered her an Azura book. She destroyed her jock career because she tried to use an Azura move in real-life Grudgby. Her interest in Azura is long-lived, starting about the time that her interest in school would have expired (which would explain why she stayed closeted). And we can’t ignore the fact that she sees Azura in Luz and is definitely enjoying the parallels between herself and her fictional counterpart. (Which might not be a coincidence, but that’s an entirely different theory).

She hyperfixates on Luz. Yes, part of this is a crush. But a lot of us have watched Amity’s personality go from alpha bitch to cutest little bean in the Boiling Isles, all thanks to Luz’s influence. Lumity is not a rivals-to-lovers speedrun due to bad writing, it’s due to Amity hyperfixating. She’s already extremely introspective, going so far as to keep a diary where she analyzes and makes sense of herself. It’s not a stretch to say that she identified the faults that kept her from Luz and worked hard to change those off-screen. 

Amity keeps a journal. To me, this seems like masking. You see, Amity is what people would consider to be high-functioning, since she can pass for allistic. But in order to do this, she has to put in significant effort on her part. See, when she does something that makes it so she doesn’t pass, she just sees it as a problem (since she probably doesn’t know about autism, and she passes well enough that she would totally be undiagnosed). Then she tries to fix the problem, in order to keep being perfect. 

Amity has awkward body language. Thanks to the journal and other ways of masking, you don’t see this early on. But once she feels comfortable enough around Luz to let her guard down...she completely forgets boundaries. To review: in episodes 15-17, she throws herself at Luz, holds her formal rival’s hand for 24.71 seconds, blushes every time she sees Luz, and loudly declares her thirsty thoughts about Luz in uniform before literally running away. While some of this can be seen as normal gal pal things or crush things...you’d think a repressed wlw like Amity would try very hard not to touch Luz, so as to avoid being outed. Or at least she would do less of that stuff, so as to respect Luz’s boundaries the way she wants her boundaries to be respected. But that’s not the case, since she straight-up misses a lot of social cues. And since she feels comfortable around Luz, she doesn’t feel the pressure to be so paranoid about the cues, and can be her awkward self. From her point of view, she probably sees it as being freed from her parents’ judgment.

Amity takes things literally, sometimes. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, since she isn’t heavily affected by this autistic trait. But when Luz says “I’m picking up what you’re putting down” and Amity says “I’m not putting down anything” and looks down...she not only missed the conclusion Luz drew from her words, but also assumed a literal meaning from her words. I can’t come up with many other instances of this, mostly because this doesn’t happen often. I would assume that Amity missed these a lot early on, and learned how to mask/identify them.

Amity is easily upset when things don’t go as planned. Let’s review these. In the library, she gets really mad at Luz when they end up stitched to a book, and it takes Luz’s sweet personality to get Amity to loosen up and laugh over it. When she goes to practice magic, and Luz steals her wand and uses it to get her siblings kidnapped, Amity locks Luz in a cage and assumes that she will get badly injured if she tries to fix the problems she caused. When Luz comes to her school, she panics and focus on how that doesn’t change anything. When she burns Willow’s mind, she appears absolutely terrified of being punished, flinching and bracing for impact when Luz finds her near the memories, constantly trying to distract Luz as they work together to save Willow, and hiding behind Luz when she confronts the Inner Willow. When Luz asks her to join her in Grudgby, Amity doesn’t initially agree, instead taking much more of the episode to come to terms with her involvement in it.

Amity likes predictability. She’s not attached to routines, but she does like being able to expect things. If she makes a plan for the day, she expects that day to adhere to that plan, and she doesn’t respond well when it changes. When Luz comes to her school, she focus on how that doesn’t change anything...not how that would ruin things or complicate things. Whenever she gets involved in Luz’s shenanigans, she either gets angry, scared, or takes a while to accept it. In a broader sense, she takes a while to accept that Luz and her shenanigans are a permanent fixture in her life--sixteen episodes, to be exact.

Finally, it would make for some excellent representation. An ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist is pretty groundbreaking. But an ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist girl who dates an autistic wlw witch girl from another dimension is exactly the kind of intersectional representation you’d expect to see from an unrestricted Owl House crew.

...Now, this might just be me hardcore projecting. I’m a little scared to post this because I don’t know how much of this is me reading into imaginary things, or trying to convince myself that Amity is like me. Feel free to debate/disprove me or support me in the comments. 

[memoryshard]

So... what is "The Deer house Au" that ya got going on?

So!! Essentially parts of a role swap AU that doesn't 180° everyone's personalities.

The one in charge is now Empress Eda. She stole the spot from Lilith, which has created a lot of bad blood between them. Borrowing from Earth History with the Clawthorne's ruling because it's the "Titan's will" that they're in charge.

Eda is... not a very good ruler in the way that she just kinda does whatever the hell she wants and the Boiling Isles is practically lawless. She likes shiny things and having fun. While she's still very charismatic, she is more ruthless than she is in canon. Don't cross her.

Belos was once her mentor. Eda could never beat him in a fight, so she ended up cheating and cursing him so she'd finally win. This is what makes him into the Deer Monster.

Few years down the line once Eda takes the throne, she gets the Owl Beast curse from Lilith because she wanted revenge for losing the throne.

Eda assumes it was Belos who did it because he sought revenge.

Belos doesn't know she was the one who cursed him.

Now more about Belos:

Canonly, Belos talks in a very calm and "kind" way. So, I'm taking that minus the quotations. He's a very powerful witch who's also very spiritual. He's in tune with nature and much more of a gentle spirit.

I haven't fully fleshed out how he meets Kikimora, but he takes her in when she was little. As for Hunter, I haven't full decided if Belos is indeed his bio uncle or not. But! Hunter's parent loses themselves to their own curse, scaring Hunter and making Belos step in to save him.

Hunter is still a powerless witch (or at least not very strong with magic) who has a special interest in wild magic. Like Luz, he learns how to do glyphs!

Kikimora is a very tired older sister who's trying to prevent Hunter from doing dumb shit in the pursuit of knowledge lmaooo-- the two have a very competitive dynamic, BUT its healthy.

As for their house demon? First OC of the story with Veni-- he's basically a trophy head deer who's noodly like Hooty. He likes bad poetry :)

Luz in this AU stumbles into the demon realm by accident. She's still found by Eda and wants to be a witch. Eda is very charismatic and seems kind, so Luz doesn't realize how bad her situation is.

Upon hearing stories about the human realm, Eda because VERY interested...

[ramblingguy54]

Edalyn Clawthorne: A Loner Created Through Tragedy

     Seeing what happened to Edalyn’s father in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door greatly explains why she looked so saddened by Lilith talking about hanging around their dad more by Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances conclusion. She harbors a lot of guilt in scratching his face up badly from years ago. After an incident like that for someone around an age that young in their life definitely contributed to Eda’s resolve of keeping herself away from others not just solely because of her own ideals about magic and how to properly use it, but also to prevent more people from getting badly hurt because of the owl curse, too. It’s sad to look back on what Lilith said to her mother, “Mom, I heard you, but I couldn’t stop myself.”, because that’s exactly what Eda went through when she attacked her dad. 

     No matter what her father could’ve said it wouldn’t have reached Edalyn, due to not having much experience with controlling the curse at that time. The amount of guilt running through Edalyn’s mind after coming back to her senses must’ve been unbearable as Hell. It’s already bad enough when hurting random people under a nasty spell, but to injure someone who helped bring you into the world? Anyone would want to put a large gap between themselves after such an awful experience of this magnitude. Season 2 of The Owl House has been doing a lot of great things in its story, such as showing more of Eda’s vulnerability being the point of my post I’d like to delve more into about.

     Eda’s development of opening up emotionally more in Season 1 was certainly good, however we didn’t get a real look into what makes Edalyn who she is as a whole. Season 2 has been allowing more in-depth exploration about why she guards herself as frequently as possible from others. It isn’t a matter of, “I like being a loner, who lives by their own rules about how our world operates.”, rather it centers around, “I’m a bad influence and don’t want to hurt others I care deeply about, or even possibly could grow to, because of my cursed affliction.”. Gwendolyn stating her curse was something that should be cut it out if need be certainly didn’t help in contributing to Eda’s loner nature she develop onward. These moments made her feel ashamed as if she didn’t deserve to be apart something greater like a family, having friends, or finding her own respective lover to boot.

     Eda’s long amount of solitude made her into a more powerfully independent and capable person, magically speaking, but it came at a serious cost of something important, one’s own self-esteem. The curse stunted Eda’s emotional growth for a very long while in having to take up the mantle of being unable to face her fears head on. Even in spite of her lesson to Raine about not running away from your own demons, the saying of practice what you preach rang unfortunately true here. Edalyn has been a very closed off person for so many years, where the idea of having to present yourself to someone else, warts and all, scared this witch away into living in seclusion at her Owl House. Despite gaining a family eventually through Luz & King, Eda never told them about her curse until it happened, wasn’t big on showing affection, and struggled with teaching Luz consistently in a good chunk of Season 1.

     Eda’s biggest challenge to overcome has been actually letting people into her life which costed her a healthy social lifestyle, became distant toward the Clawthorne family tree, and resulted in Raine calling off their romantic relationship. They were tired of Eda’s distant attitude in not being able to commit emotionally with expressing more of her compassion, vulnerability, or love either. This is something problematic Eda’s Requiem did explore too when King wanted to speak with Eda, yet she kept on either changing the subject last second, or made up a convenient excuse to hold off on discussing this matter. Edalyn was afraid of change because she had finally become used to King being around for so long. Knowing Luz would have to leave inevitably hurt already, so now finding out King possibly wanted to go find his actual father and stay there with him instead scared Eda outta her mind in facing a reality without the both of them. 

     Change is a word for Eda that’s a thing she never wants to hear. It’s why she makes the decisions that went on to define her serious solitude. Eda is used to being alone without having to rely on much of anyone else, but that doesn’t mean she obviously has enjoyed it, either. Edalyn only lived in seclusion because she thought it was necessary for safety reasons not outta love for a hermit lifestyle. The tragedy of Eda’s personal background is she allowed this curse to rule over her life for those three decades. Now, to be fair, Gwendolyn contributed to Eda’s baggage with viewing her curse as a disgusting attribute does indeed share the blame here in these events, but regardless Edalyn made unwise decisions she clearly regrets. The biggest ones being not letting anyone, as seen with Raine, get closer to her and avoiding changes to a status quo in Eda’s complicated life. What happened to Eda’s dad was obviously not her fault whatsoever, as it was entirely out of her control. However, Eda’s choice to live in seclusion away from many, make things impossible for a healthy honest relationship work with Raine, and running away from King’s possible separation in Requiem’s story paints a different picture on Eda’s loner nature. 

     Eda may try to carry herself as this loner with a sassy attitude, but it’s all just a facade to mask deeper issues of self-esteem, loneliness, and regrets. I find it so beautiful in how she didn’t want Luz running away from her feelings to Amity because she didn’t want her to make the same mistake, like what happened with Raine. Eda let her fear of commitment get to herself and it caused nothing but a mountain of regrets, so she’s correcting this flawed mindset through helping Luz & Amity’s romance. Like, real talk, the way Owl House has explored LGBTQ+ has been simply excellent in building organic romances with Luz/Amity & Eda/Raine, but still giving important development to their characters in making sure their sexuality isn’t the only defining trait they have. That’s been like a pet peeve of mine when incorporating representation for this community of people. I’m all for seeing this kind of equality in fictional entertainment, but don’t make this the only thing that defines their characterization as a whole and Owl House totally understands this about using LGBTQ+ related content.

     Season 2 of Owl House has been greatly expanding upon Eda’s emotional dilemmas around her curse, which I love as it deepens this character’s motivations on bettering herself. Edalyn has become a super relatable mentor figure in these recent episodes taking time to showcase the complexities of Clawthorne’s family dynamic being shaken by Eda’s curse and how she finally comes to term with it here in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door. Rather than viewing it as a monster to be afraid of, Eda is viewing this creature as another living thing deserving to be treated as an equal and not a threat thanks to the help of those elixirs she drinks on a daily basis. I thought Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door would be a serious comedic breather, but instead it gave us more insight on this cast of main protagonists. Edalyn’s backstory revelations were such an amazing surprise, as I didn’t think we’d be getting to see her father this soon and what caused a big rift between the two, as well.

Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door exceeded my expectations in more ways than one. Season 2 of The Owl House has been continuing to impress me. 

[sergeantsporks]

Nowhere Else to Go

Rating: Teen, Gen

Graphic depictions of violence, Major character death.

TW: Self-harm, mentioned child abuse, emotional manipulation

Chapter 2/4: Curses and Glyphs

Ch 1

“You know those are fake, right?”

At Emperor Belos’ voice, Lilith surged upwards, creating a blade of ice and pointing it at him. He went cross-eyed looking at the point that was touching his nose, and she lowered it. Slowly. “Apologies. I keep forgetting that it’s you.” She glanced at the texts on the coffee table. “I know. That doesn’t mean it’s all lies, though. There may be some truth to it. I shouldn’t discount any source until I’m sure it’s all false.”

He sat down cross-legged on the floor, sliding one of the books over to his side and flipping through it. “Where did all of this junk come from?”

“My mother. She was desperate to find a cure for Edalyn, and she… fell for quite a few scams.”

“Mmm.” Hunter scanned the pages, then froze. “Who owned this before your mother?”

“I don’t know. Some con artist. Why?”

Hunter turned the book around and jabbed a finger at the corner of the page. “Wild witch magic. There’s a glyph here.”

Lilith snatched it up. “Lemme see.” Sure enough, there was a glyph sequence at the bottom of the page. “Hmmm.” She sketched the glyphs on a piece of paper. “Alright, let’s see what this does!”

Hunter grabbed her wrist. “Wait, we don’t know what it’s capable of!”

Lilith yanked away. “That’s what I’m trying to find out.”

“It could be dangerous!”

“I doubt it.”

“This is how you burned down the library! It’s wild magic, it’s unpredictable and—”

Lilith snorted. “Now you really sound like Belos.”

Hunter jolted upright. “Don’t—”

Lilith grabbed his wrist. “C’mere.” She pulled his hand closer to the glyph, and he tensed. “It’s not going to hurt you.”

“I—I don’t have any magic, it won’t—”

“Then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Lilith tapped his hand on the glyph. It glowed gently, and spheres made of ice floated into the air, glowing and making sparkling patterns on the walls.

Lilith’s eyes widened. “Oh!”

Hunter yanked his hand away, and the ice crashed to the ground. “You shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have—it’s wild magic, it’s forbidden and—”

“That’s Belos talking. You don’t work for him anymore. You don’t have to listen to what he said. Wild magic isn’t anything to be scared of—it’s dangerous, yes, of course, anything powerful is, but it’s also... hope.” She shrugged. “Have you ever been able to do magic without a staff before?”

Hunter looked at the fallen ice, then slowly sat back down next to her. “…can you… show me again? I read some books, but I—I’ve never—it’s forbidden, and I—”

“And you were a good little soldier, I know. Very loyal. To a bit of a fault.”

His ears turned red. It was… incredibly odd, seeing Belos like this. Just a scared kid. Lilith sketched a light glyph. “Try this one. It’s easy—just a light glyph. Nothing to be scared of.”

Hunter tapped it, and it floated up, a twinkling light illuminating the cursed slime taking over his face. “…huh.”

“Does that look dangerous to you?”

“…I guess not.” Hunter sketched his own and tapped it. Nothing happened. He sighed. “Guess I should have known. I can’t do magic on my own.”

Lilith sketched light glyph after light glyph, pushing them sideways across the table for him to touch and activate. Despite his melancholy, he did, creating constellations, glittering masterpieces over heir heads. “That’s because you’re thinking of magic as something you have to do on your own. I didn’t create these glyphs—I didn’t even discover them. Luz found them, she taught them to me. And she didn’t create them, either—she simply followed the patterns in nature. None of us use our magic on our own—the isles gave us this gift, showed us the way.” She sketched one last light glyph and pushed it over to him. “Maybe you can’t do magic on your own, but no one can.”

He didn’t activate the last glyph, and she glanced over. He was staring into space, his eyes unfocused. “Hunter? Are you—”

He made a choking noise and fell over to the side, gagging and coughing. The slime that was taking over his face came out of his mouth, and a jolt of panic ran down Lilith’s spine.

“Hold on!”

He whined, coughing up more slime as she ran for the kitchen, sliding back down next to him with a bottle of elixir. She tilted it into his mouth, rubbing his throat to make him swallow. Hunter hacked and coughed some more, and she sat him up so he could breathe easier.

“Your arms,” he wheezed.

She looked down. Feathers had started poking out. “Ah.” She went back to the kitchen, sipping her own bottle of elixir. When she went back, he was hiding behind the couch again, his knees drawn up to his chest. “I… didn’t know how bad Belos’ curse was,” she said softly.

He looked to the side. “He didn’t let many people see him vulnerable,” he replied matter-of-factly.

Lilith slid down to sit next to him. “Neither did you.”

“I’m not vulnerable. I mean—I am in this slime-sack, but I wasn’t.”

“Mmm.” Lilith twisted the ends of her hair in her hands. “When I was a kid, my mother never paid attention to me. And then when I joined the emperor’s coven, it was… the opposite. People paid attention. If I made them. If I earned it. I had to fight hard for approval, but I could get that scrap of approval, the attention that my mother never gave me. And in a way… I think that was worse. You, me, Kikimora, always at each other’s throats. Trying to take each other down to get Belos’ approval. Maybe if we’d ever stopped fighting each other, we would have realized that we could have helped each other. Maybe if we’d stopped seeing each other as the enemy, life… could have been better. For me. Certainly for you.”

“I was fine.”

“You were alive. But you weren’t fine, none of us were. None of us could be fine in that situation. Kikimora’s still not fine, she’s top dog now that we’re both gone, I’m sure, but she’ll spend every second paranoid that someone else is coming for her power.”

Hunter rested his chin on his knees. “Maybe you weren’t fine. Maybe you were unhappy, maybe you struggled. But Belos cared about me.  He was happy I was there, I was useful. I was special.”

Lilith sighed. “We went over this, Hunter. He was using you. Your ‘special’ ness? Was the fact that he could take your body. Belos doesn’t care about any of us. He never did. Would you be here now if he really cared about you?”

He looked away again. “Whatever. You wouldn’t get it.”

Lilith stood up. “No. You’re right. I wouldn’t. Belos was using me, but in my mind, I was using him, too. I thought I could get him to do what I wanted, to heal my sister. I never had the same devotion to him you did. I had Edalyn—maybe I was wrong in how I treated her, maybe I was a bad sister, but at least I had something to live for other than those fleeting moments of approval from Belos. I’m surprised you even came here after Belos threw you out. I’d think you’d still be at his side like a kicked dog, still begging for a pat on the head.” She moved back towards the kitchen. She should probably store some elixir around the house like Eda had for her, so that he could get to it in time if another attack hit him. “But… I suppose I’m glad you’re not. Maybe there’s hope for you yet, Hunter.

Xxx

Lilith couldn’t sleep. It happened a lot since the curse—she woke up, unfortunately usually with a craving for voles that meant it was probably time to take another elixir. She shambled out into the hallway, and was about to create light when she realized she could see. There was a soft glow coming from Eda’s old room, and she padded over, pushing open the door to see Hunter poring over the scam healing books, a ball of light floating above him.

“Wow, no wonder the bags under your eyes are so bad. What are you doing up this late?”

“Reading.”

“Hilarious. Couldn’t sleep?”

Hunter rubbed at his eyes. “What if I have another attack when I’m asleep? I’ll choke on slime and die, and I’ll just… never wake up. And you’re asleep, and your mother is asleep—if Belos attacks us, we’re sitting ducks!”

“And you’d do what, exactly? Cough up slime at him? You’re just running yourself ragged.” She nudged him with one foot. “C’mon, let’s go downstairs before we wake up Mother.”

He trudged after her, tripping over his own feet and knocking into her from behind. “Sorry! Sorry, sorry. I’m just… still not used to this body.”

“’s fine.” Lilith put the kettle on, a ball of light hovering over her shoulder. “Find anything interesting in those books?”

“They’re mostly junk. But I did find a couple more glyphs! I’d need you to test them, though, I still can’t do it on my own—I had to use that last glyph you drew for light. It’s really strange finding them, though, because Belos heavily restricted all wild magic. Luz only found the glyphs by studying nature—it’s odd to find them in some scam book. But your sister was considered a criminal, too, and a wild witch, and she probably ran a scam or two like this. Makes me wonder if maybe there’s some kind of… I don’t know, underground scam group of wild witches? I know there are wild witches out there, but the idea of there being a wider group, not just a few loners floating around is—” he shrank back into himself. “Never mind. It’s too late—you don’t want to hear about it, I’m sure—”

Lilith poured the boiling water into a pair of mugs. “No, go on, I’m listening. I asked. An underground group of wild witches? It would be hard to hide that from Belos. How do the scam books fit into it?”

“Code? Or maybe a lot of the wild witches use scamming people as a smokescreen to keep Belos from figuring out that they’re actually part of a wider wild coven?”

“A wild coven. There’s a concept. I know Eda jokes about her ‘bad girls coven’ but…”

“They’d know glyph patterns beyond what you can piece together on your own, like the one we did earlier. If we could find them—”

Lilith set a mug of tea down in front of him and sipped her own. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. A few glyphs in a scam healing book doesn’t mean there’s a whole secret society out there. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t. But we don’t have enough information to go charging out chasing shadows. Careful with that, it’s hot.”

Hunter sipped at the tea. “Okay. Okay, fine. But if there is, they might know spells we don’t—maybe how to lift curses.”

Oh. “Hunter, I… maybe. But please, please, please don’t pin all of your hopes on it.”

“I… don’t know what else to pin my hopes on. Belos spent years trying to remove his curse. The only thing he wouldn’t accept is wild magic, so if there’s a cure, it must be there!”

“Okay. It’s too late now to look into it, though. Let’s… try some of those new glyph combos?”

He nodded and followed her into the living room. It was still… disconcerting. After all, that was a full adult body, and an old one at that. But most of the time, despite the old appearance, Lilith could easily imagine him as a child. It was something about the way his face moved, the way he talked. The way he held himself. It was missing the usual bravado of the Golden Guard she’d known, but still seemed so familiar.

Hunter sketched the glyph patterns on a piece of paper, and Lilith copied it. She pushed it to him. “You go.”

He tapped it, and explosion went off. Hunter yelped and jumped backwards as Lilith snorted. “You did that on purpose!”

“I did not! Probably an experimental glyph that didn’t work out. Edalyn tried a few of those. Glyph combos can be tricky.”

Hunter rubbed soot off of his face. “Told you it was dangerous!”

“Everything on the boiling isles is dangerous.”

“Yeah, but—” Hunter broke off coughing, ooze coating his hand. “Hngh—”

Lilith pushed the papers to the side. “That’s enough excitement for one night, I think. You need to go to sleep.”

She helped him stumble his way up the stairs and back to Eda’s room, sitting him back down on the bed. “Now sleep.”

He curled up in an exhausted ball. Lilith extinguished the light with a sigh. How did Eda take care of a kid all of the time? Did Luz stay up all night, too? Lilith went back downstairs and started a letter to Hooty.

Dear Hootsifer,

The Golden Guard is at my house. I need you to let Edalyn know—Belos has switched bodies with him. It’s… odd, having him around. He’s not as much of a brat as I remember. The problem is, Belos was suffering from a curse. And I’m relatively certain that it’s fatal. I don’t know how much time Hunter has left. I wish I could help him, but I don’t even know where to start. I wish you were here—you’ve had Luz in the house for so long, I’m sure you could help with this one.

Love, Lilith

Lilith sighed, and went back up the stairs, briefly poking her head into Eda’s room. Hunter was still curled up in a ball, but… something was wrong. He was all tensed up, and she thought she heard a strangled whimper. Lilith crept into the room, sitting down next to him. “Hunter?” she said in a low voice.

He started awake, grabbing her hand. “No!”

“Hunter, it’s just me, you’re okay—”

“I didn’t mean to, it’s not my f-faul—” He squeezed tighter, then fell back asleep, twitching.

Lilith shook her head, but didn’t pry her hand out of his grasp.

What did Belos do to you?

Ch 3

[spaceecoffe]

LUZ ISN'T THE PROTAGONIST OF THE OWL HOUSE

Okay, so here are my thoughts after s02e07 (there will be spoilers probably!) and also after reading some of yours posts about series. I will make a list because I hate lists but I can't cope without them.

1. Let's start with the types of some basic narrations

1st Person narration - the one were we see everything from narrators point of view, we usually now their thoughts, the example could be Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

3rd Person narration - in this type we may or may not know character/characters thoughts and also we can follow actions of only one character or jump from one point of you to another. Harry Potter series is an example of following one character while in Game Of Thrones or The Heroes of Olympus we change a character in every chapter.

This is one way to distinguish types of narration. We can also do this by saying which type of character in our plot is the narrator:

The Protagonist - our narrator is also the hero of our story, just like Percy Jackson

The Secondary Character - our narrator is someone who is close to the hero of a story, for example a friend just like in The Great Gatsby or My Friend the King

The Detached Observer - we don't know who narrator is, we never hear his thoughts or opinions, there is never "me" or "I", we can see this type in Harry Potter or GONE

The Commentator - he doesn't take a part in the story but he puts his comments and thoughts to it, I think we have this one (unless something changed in later books) in Series of Unfortunate Events

We can probably add more to it but I think we don't have to do this in this post. What I want to tell is that we always naturally assume that Narrator (or character he follows) = The Protagonist unless we are informed at the beginning that things are different. Usually the author informs us at the beginning if Narrator is The Protagonist or no. It can be like in Series of Unfortunate Events where Narrator tells that this story will be about someone else or like in The Great Gatsby where we can assume this only by title of the book.

But all of this works perfectly in books while in movies/series it is harder to show us the Narrator. Usually we don't think about Narrator when we watch something. We think that no one has to tell us a story when we actually can see it but this is only an illusion. There always has to be a narrator and creators of the movies/series always thinks about this. There are some movies where we get to know who is narrator like The Great Gatsby (I'm sorry, I just love this movie not even for the plot but for its narration which is just so amazing) or in the Series of Unfortunate Events.

In The Owl House if we want to guess who is the Narrator it is Luz. She is the perfect character for it: she doesn't know the Boiling Isles just like we so we get to discover it with her. It is the easiest way for author to show readers/viewers new world. If you think about it authors usually create narrator characters like this because it's the most natural way to show new world to other people. Harry Potter was a part of New World, Magic World, but he didn't know it because he was raised in Muggle World. The same thing goes for Percy Jackson. In Lord Of The Rings narrator isn't any character but we usually, especially at the beginning, follow Frodo who was raised as a Hobbit in Shire so he doesn't really know the world outside. It is not always done like this. In Game of Thrones we are tossed to existing world, we follow characters which knows how this world works and, for me, it was really hard to catch up on events for like first hundred pages. It just didn't felt so natural like when you get to know the world with the character you follow or The Narrator. It can also work with showing as The Protagonist, like in The Great Gatsby, Nick is someone new in his life, so we get to know Gatsby with him.

So, it is natural that in The Owl House Luz is The Narrator. This way Dana could easily show us her world. But that doesn't mean Luz is the real Protagonist of the story.

2. Luz could be The Protagonist

Luz could be The Protagonist. She is new person in Boiling Isles, she changes it just because she is in it, but... That is not all that is needed to be the protagonist. Protagonist isn't the only person who can have an influence on the story. The presence of Nick in Jay Gatsby's life changes somehow his decisions, but it doesn't make Nick The Protagonist. It is still Gatsby, although Nick has an influence on his character.

I fill like in TOH is similar. Luz has an influence on the events but that doesn't mean she has to be The Protagonist.

3. Eda is The Protagonist

Why Eda? Here we will have some subsections (list in a list my dears)!

3.1 We get to know Eda more then Luz

Oh, but how? I've seen posts saying that people don't understand why we doesn't see any of Luz's memories from before Boiling Isles, even little flash backs. It's because she is only The Narrator, we don't have to know her full story, we only need to follow her in the New World to see what is happening in story and to get to know this world. But we get A LOT of Eda's memories. We've seen her nightmares of being cursed, we've seen her memories with Lilith when they were children, we've seen memories of her curse revealing at the fight with her sister, later we get the memories about how her mother tried to cure her and in last episode we see her story w Raine. That's a lot of flash backs. None other character had so many. The only other character that had some flashbacks was Amity and Willow in one episode and King in his episode this season. But it is not as much as Eda gets. And Luz? We didn't see any of Luz's memories!

3.2 Eda is one of the characters with biggest growth while Luz's growth is small

I also saw posts about how Luz is the only character that doesn't change through the series. It isn't totally correct. She changes. She becomes more certain about the fact that she isn't a freak. I mean, okay, she knows she is still kinda freak (for human standards) but she started to love that part of herself. In this season she also learns that she is not the one who is responsible for everything and that she shouldn't blame herself for every bad thing that happens around her. But in comparison to Eda or Amity it is not so apparent.

Eda went from being an outcast, scared of some parts of herself (cursed ones) to the person who accepted her nature. She isn't outcast anymore. She accepted people's presence in her life. We see this in last episode when she tells herself that just when she got used to people being in Owl House they all leave. Sure, at the beginning she had King, but she didn't talk to Lilith or her own mother. Through the series she opened her heart for other people and now she has so big found family. Not only Luz, King and Hooty. She has great connection with her sister, she started to talk normally to her mother. She met Raine and was so open for them. She is even now friends with Bump and helps him in school which she hated! And also I am sure that she really like Luz's friends.

And the curse. She always played cool about it. "Nah, it just happens!". But we could see that she was actually really scared of it. She hated this part of herself even if she was telling Lilith or their mother otherwise. But in one of the episodes of season two we see that she finally accepted this part of herself and fought back with the curse. And this is such a BIG GROWTH WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH. And yes, this is because of the parallel to mental health illness, that you can't get rid of but you can learn to manage it in proper way. And I love that elixirs didn't helped her to handle it, they only helped her to "keep the curse quiet". The moment she started to manage it was when she stopped it by her own. Just like with mental health problems: meds won't help without your own work.

So yes, in comparison to Eda's character growth Luz's is small, but if she is The Narrator she doesn't have to change a lot. In every story it is The Protagonist who changes most, because stories aren't only about how Protagonist has influence on the world and events but, and I think it is even more important, how events changes The Protagonist.

3.3 Eda is connected to everything that is important for the plot

If you think about this, Eda is the only character that is connected somehow to every piece of plot. And here comes subsections of subsections! (yes, I'm practicing before writing my BSc which I should write RIGHT NOW but Eda is now more important for me, sorry my dear archaea and proteins)

Wild Magic - this one goes for Eda and for Luz but the way it connects with them is very different. Eda chose to not go into any coven. She never wanted to gave most of her magic away and that is why she wanted to go to Emperor's Coven. But when she was forced to fight her own sister I think she started to understand how sick covens were. So she decided to not sign to any of them. She decided to become outcast, out of the law, just so she could still have her Wild Magic. In series she looked so cool with this decision, but that is how she is, she always seems cool but we know that it is not always how she really feels. And I think that decision about being "out of coven" was really hard for her but at the same time she knew that it was only way for her and she was ready to do everything to stay with her Wild Magic. And with the years she never changed her decision. While for Luz Wild Magic used by the glyphs is a way to make her dream come true. It is also important, going with our dreams is one of the most important things in our lives, but for the plot I feel like Eda's connection is more important.

Portal - this one goes for the Eda and Luz too, but again, not in the same way. Both of them found portal by accident but! Eda found it in the way that you could think it was waiting there for here. Like, it literally lied in the mud on her way. While Luz found it because of Eda and Owlbert. Without Eda having it, she would never found Boiling Isles. And here comes third thing.

Luz (and Human Realm) - yes, she is also really important for the plot, although I think she's not The Protagonist. But still Luz has a big influence on events and as I said before, if not Eda she would never come to Boiling Isles and would never had a chance to change anything.

Curse - we know that curse she has is strange. No one on Boiling Isles knew this curse, but somehow Lilith bought it at the night market. Just like with Portal, we can think that it was just meant for Eda to get this curse. Like, it was just lying there and waiting for Lilith to buy it and curse Eda with it. I am sure that it is also connected to the Wild Magic.

King's Father - same story as before, she was running away, found a safe place on some island that no one knows about, in some ruins and by accident found King there. We know that before King hatched he heard a roar, probably his father's. We can also believe that his father was mighty. I think that he could be connected to Wild Magic somehow and that is why someone tried to do something to him. But I think that he is also important for the plot, we just don't know how yet.

Lilith as a head of Emperor's Coven - and here we go to some important point. We know that Lilith became head of a coven just so Belos could get to the Eda and her portal, and Belos is this one important point.

There is only one person who has (or can have like with King's father) connection to all this things and this person is Belos, the main Antagonist. He is fighting with Wild Magic, which apparently made him Cursed and because of this he was looking for Portal to go to the Human Realm, but for this he needed Lilith to get to Eda. So Eda is a key to everything that Belos wants and she actually always stands against him. She is not fighting with Wild Magic, but uses it, she is Cursed but she accepted it and she can manage it, she has/had a Portal but never used it for anything bad. She also has a connection tu Human Realm because of Luz, the kid that she loves, and the only reason she would want to have Portal again is to help Luz, and she also never wanted to actually fight with Lilith while Belos made her to do many times. So she is in natural opposition to him and that is also what makes her The Protagonist of main story.

3.4 We know that Luz doesn't have any "big fate" on Boiling Isles

At the beginning I wrote that we usually know that The Narrator isn't The Protagonist because author shows it to us. But we also know that Dana loves to play with us and she loves to hide informations (even with colour coded scenes) and I feel like she did the same thing with The Narrator - The Protagonist thing. Second episode of the series, Witches before Wizards shows us Luz who tries to find her special fate on Boiling Isles. She thinks she is there because of some grater powers of fate but we learn that this isn't true. We always thought that this is about breaking the stereotype of Protagonist being The Chosen One (like in Harry Potter or Percy Jackson) and I love this idea, but what if it was about showing us that Luz is not The Protagonist of a story? Because for me, everything that happened to Eda: the course, finding portal, King and Luz, looks like to many accidents for one character to be just accidents, more like something (maybe fate) or someone (maybe the Tytan himself because he is trapped somehow by Belos) tries to give her every piece she needs to stand in opposition to main Antagonist of Boiling Isles.

4. Summary

This is only my little theory, I don't know if I am right, but I feel like it can be another Dana's game with stereotypes/archetypes, I'm not sure how to call it, with traditional writing, keeping your Protagonist hide until the very end. And if it will turn out like this I will be really amazed. I would love to know what you think about this! And I also really need to start writing my BSc instead of these analyses but this is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Sam’s Emotional Arc 1/3

I hated the finale immediately, but I’ve spent some time with it and talked to friends who loved it. I can see now what it was about, and I’ve come to appreciate the story they were trying to tell, even if I think it didn’t land right.

I’ve been told that my meta on this has helped other people come to terms with the finale, so I thought I’d compile it in one place from across various discord channels and twitter posts. If you are struggling with the finale, I hope it helps you.

Part of this actually started with a shit post. I was making a joke about Sam being psychic since he was scared of clowns when Dean died by one. I realized that may have been deliberate. I dug into the story more and now I’m convinced it was. Then I came across some excellent meta that fit with the themes I was finding and opened up the series even more for me.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it. First, Sam’s journey. 

Clowns pop up in s15 before the barn scene. In 15.01, which was written by Dabb, Sam is injured by a clown. Castiel is able to save Sam and heal his injury. The clown keeps coming after Sam, with Sam having fight scenes with the clown, while others attack the other ghosts. The clown is kicking the shit out of Sam again, and Castiel saves him once more. Sam is unable to fight off the clown on his own both times.

They run until they are able to escape outside a magical barrier. Sam turns to the clown and says, “shut up”. 

This is literally Sam running from his fears. On top of that, this isn’t just any clown, but the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, from an episode also written by Dabb.

Dean: A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns.

Sam gets nervous and struggles with the lighter before he’s able to get rid of the clown, for now.

I believe this is a metaphor for hunting in general: it’s both the best of Sam’s life and also the worst. The clowns symbolize his relationship with Dean.

Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie was co-written by Dabb (see the pattern?). Sam’s fear of clowns was known since season 2. In season 7, Dabb explored where this fear came from.

On the surface, Sam’s fear is just because he found them creepy, but the episode explains that they actually come from Sam’s fear of being left behind by Dean.

This episode comes directly after an episode where Sam worried that Dean would get himself killed

Sam: Look... Dean, the thing is, tonight... It almost got you killed. Now, I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't – don't get killed. Dean: I'll do what I can. Sam: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Dean: It means I'll do what I can. All right? You can shut up about it.

Sam is dealing with Hallucifer at this moment, but Hallucifer doesn’t really scare him. Losing Dean does.

Sam has a conversation with an employee about greatest fears.

Recognize the actress? She came back for s15 in 15.06. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. 15.06 featured Castiel helping a parent find their lost child in a season that features Castiel worried about losing Jack. Through his experience with her, Castiel confronts his fears and doubts and then returns to join in the fight against God. [I’ll touch on Castiel’s journey more in his chapter]

Sam’s greatest fear is losing Dean. There’s a lot in the series about how Sam felt lonely and abandoned for much of his childhood. A whole episode, Just My Imagination, centers around this. Sam hated when Dean went off on hunts without him.

source In The Chitters, Sam tells Dean how his fear of losing his family paralyzed him as child. It’s a story where an older brother dies and the younger brother never recovers from it until he’s able to lay him to rest (sound familiar???)

Sam: You know, whenever you and Dad used to leave me to go hunting, and I-and I wouldn’t hear from y’all for a while, I, um, I was always sure that some vamp or rugaru, or take your pick, I always figured one of them finally got ya. I tried to think what to do, you know, the next step to take. I was just lost. Dean: We came back, though, every time.

You might naturally think, “Wait a minute! Sam left Dean multiple times!” Honestly, this was something I had a huge issue with when watching through the show the first time. I didn’t understand Sam and hated him leaving Dean in s8. I was completely on Dean’s side at first. But, on multiple rewatches and talking to others, I’ve realized that when Sam left Dean, he was running from his fear. In this TV Guide interview, Jared perfectly sums up why Sam left in season 1; he couldn’t stand to see his family die. Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon along with a comic that explains why Sam left in detail. While the comic isn’t official canon, it shows Dabb’s thought process. In it, Sam sees his family as running towards a horrible end and can’t handle dealing with that.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.

There are many more points in the series where we learn about Sam’s fear of Dean dying. This would be 3948573945 pages long if I wrote them all out, so I’m going to focus on the key moments that loop back to this ending, but there’s so much more there.

If you are struggling with this and need more, please let me know and I can do a deeper dive into that subject. We first see Sam’s inability to let Dean go in season 1 when Sam refuses to let Dean die in Faith.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? Sam: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

Sam’s whole arc in s3 is him being unable to handle Dean dying. He wants to save Dean, but Dean won’t let himself be saved. This was what Gabriel was trying to teach him in Mystery Spot.

Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

This is how Ruby gets under Sam’s skin and what gets him to start working with her. Everything Sam did was to save Dean. In s4, Sam’s arc is about him sacrificing himself in order to save Dean. He’s gutted from being unable to save Dean. In 4.12, Sam decides to drink demon blood in order to save Dean

Dean: [says that they will die early] Sam: Maybe we'll be different, Dean. Dean: What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life. Sam: What if we could win?Dean: "Win"?Sam: If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it.

When Sam breaks out of the panic room, he’s suicidal. He’s determined to save Dean with his life as the cost he’s willing to pay. He didn’t think he would survive killing Lilith. He was committing suicide in that moment. The reason why Sam is so willing to sacrifice himself in s5 is because he has low self esteem. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. In Sam, Interrupted 5.11, also by Dabb, Sam has a breakdown under the weight of his guilt. He hates himself and he feels his rage is out of control. In season 6, we see soulless Sam and, unlike souled Sam, he has no rage. Yes, he’ll kill when necessary, but he’s not angry. It was Sam’s fear driving his rage. He felt out of control of his life and let it lead him down a dark path. In season 7, he sees Dean heading down a dark path and he feels helpless to stop it. He worries about dragging Dean down and tells Dean to let him go. But, at the same time, he’s developing coping techniques. He’s starting to face his fears. 

And then Dean disappears and Sam completely falls apart. Sam didn’t have a healthy relationship with Amelia. They were two broken people clinging to each other. Sam and Dean struggle to reconnect after their time apart. There’s a lot of text addressing the horror of a partner dying and people trying to escape from it.

Mrs Holmes: He could see the end of my days were at hand, and... He had lived centuries all alone, but I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge. You must think I'm a monster.

In Hunteri Heroica written by GUESS WHO!?!? Sam finally acknowledges that he was living in a dream world with Amelia. He was running from his past. We see a flash back with Sam pressing on his scar, which he did to help himself distinguish fantasy from reality.

The episode is about a man refusing to engage in reality and harming those around him. Sam has a big confrontation with him

Sam: Look, it can be nice living in a dream world. It can be great. I know that. And you can hide, and you can pretend... all the crap out there doesn't exist, but you can't do it forever because... eventually, whatever it is you're running from – it'll find you. [CASTIEL appears to be taking Sam’s words to heart.] It'll come along, and it'll punch you in the gut. And then... then you got to wake up, because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Likewise, when Sam was with Jessica, he wasn’t honest about himself. He was hiding from his family and his past. Running to avoid pain. Sam is avoidant in general. Not just in his relationship with Dean. When he talks with Rowena in 13.12 Various & Sundry Villains about his fears of Lucifer, he admits that he could talk about it with Dean, but he can’t bring himself to.

Sam: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind – behind whatever vessel. It… Yeah, still keeps me up at night. Rowena: How do you deal with it? Sam: I guess I don’t deal with it. Not really. I mean, I pushed it down and, um, the world kept almost ending, so I keep pushing it down, and I don’t know. [stammering] I really don’t talk about it, not even with Dean. I mean, I could. You know, he’d listen, but… That’s not something I really know how to share.

In 15.20, Sam’s past is front and center. Literally. I know a lot of people found the Winchester family portrait odd and upsetting, but it symbolizes something I’ll get to in a bit. Instead of trying to avoid his grief, Sam has moments where he lets it wash over him. He goes and sits in the car. He’s no longer avoidant. He’s no longer running away. He’s letting his grief move through him. He’s literally sitting with it.

Soulless Puppy pointed out that the characters emotional arcs is similar to DBT. Please look through their awesome meta here.

Personally, I see them as similar to the therapy I do called ACT. Both are forms of therapy where instead of fighting against them, you accept painful emotions and allow yourself to feel them. If you don’t do that work, then you can’t stop feeling them and your fears/ghosts will always haunt you.  In Swan Song, Chuck tells us that “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.”  In 15.20, Sam initially didn’t want to let Dean go. He’s been refusing to do this since season 1. When he’s separated from Dean he lives a fake life or destroys himself/the world trying to get Dean back. There’s a moment in 15.20 where Sam looks at Dean’s guns. He wants to commit suicide, but he makes the choice to live. For the time in Sam’s life, he let Dean go and lived with his pain. He no longer ran from it. After Swan Song, Dean was unable to let Sam go. He wanted him back. After Carry On, Sam is able to do what Dean couldn’t do. He lives a life outside of Dean. What’s more, Sam has reconciled himself with his past and his family. It’s clumsy and I wish it were better shown, but having the family portrait and their parents in heaven isn’t meant to excuse the way Sam and Dean were raised. In order to move past the trauma of his relationship with his parents, Sam fully integrates them into his life. In Lebanon, Sam was able to confront and forgive his father. In doing so, he can also forgive himself. Mary asks for forgiveness too, and he grants it to her. He doesn’t forget what happened, but he’s able to move forward and leave the intergenerational cycle of violence. He’s able to raise his son, Dean, the way his brother should have been raised.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it.

I can see why people see Sam’s life after Dean as unhappy. I hated it so much because I saw it as horrible and sad the first time through. I had to sit with myself and my emotions first. I think it’s because we’ve been told by society that we have to get rid of our grief in order to be happy. The finale was showing us that it’s possible to do the opposite. [Personally I think it would’ve been better had they showed more overtly happy memories, but many of my friends saw this straight away] When I began therapy, one of the first things I learned was that there aren’t “negative” emotions. When working with our kids, we call them Big emotions. In DBT/ACT, all emotions are treated as normal and natural. Grief, anger, sadness, etc, these are all normal parts of the human existence. We don’t need to run from them in order to have happiness. We can live with them. As interstitial said in our chats, “you can't change the past, you can only change your relationship to it. To accept that your past contained both love and heartache, to miss it, but also know you can do better; that's actual recovery, as good as it gets.” As Soulless-Puppy explained to me, Sam lived in duality. Dean was dead, but Sam lived. Sam was happy, but he grieved. Dean was with him in the watch and the car and his son, but Dean also waited for him in heaven. I hated the finale the first time I saw it, then next watched it with my boyfriend who loved it. As we were watching together and discussing it, I realized that Dean’s death scene wasn’t just about him, but about the show itself. 

Dean promising Sam that he will be with Sam in Sam’s heart is also the show promising us that they will never leave it. That’s why Alex kept posting “The end has no end.” Just as Sam carried Dean with him in his heart, we will carry the show with us. I hope this helps. It’s a terrible thing to feel upset about an ending and thinking of the show this way, recognizing these patterns, is bringing me peace. I still have issues with how it was written, but now that I see what they were doing, I wish all the more that they had the chance to do it right. Please share your thoughts and experiences. I love hearing different opinions. Next up, Dean. Then Castiel.

[lilyclawthorne]

Separate Tides Thoughts

HAPPY SEASON 2 PREMIERE DAY!!

This is literally just a bunch of very stream of consciousness writing, from pretty much every time i had a thought about something while rewatching the episode so it may be messy/all over the place

my immediate concern about these videos luz is sending that aren’t going through, is what if the emperor does manage to even briefly open a portal?? would all of her messages suddenly go through only to not be able to contact again?? and maybe that’s why it kinda looks like a detective/conspiracy board behind camila in the trailer because she has plenty of information from luz herself that she now needs to piece together. 

completely unimportant detail but i figured lilith’s gem was like eda’s, in how eda’s gem seems to be a part of her, but we can see in luz’s video that it seems to be attached to lilith’s old dress so just what the fuck is up with eda having a gem in her body 

also the fact that they decided to be bounty hunters was odd to me, but it’s clear they really need the money. it was also clear later on that not only did eda not want luz to go after the selkidomus to keep her safe, but also because it was an innocent creature. part of me can’t help but wonder if internally a part of eda didn’t want to go after bigger bounties because having once been the biggest bounty herself, she knows that if the emperor wants them that badly then they may actually not be bad at all

i hate that last season everyone was cheering for eda to be freed, but now without magic they’re very willing to take advantage of her and talk about her. it’s mean and i expected public gossip to happen more for lilith for being a traitor, but then again people may not know about her magic yet so maybe they do still fear her a bit. all of this kinda tells me though that people bought belos’ crap about eda being stripped of her magic because she’s a wild witch, so they’re all judging her again

i love how bitter lilith is about the golden guard. also teen? kinda curious if any of our teens would’ve known him when very young or if he was raised specifically for this role

i like the detail on belos’ statue where there’s a crack over his eye around the same spot luz broke his mask

love how much eda cares for luz and puts her needs first and buying her the only foods she can digest and likes. such a mom. it’s also very clear that she’s struggling and doesn’t want luz to worry about it at all. also side note, love that lilith was asking about apple blood, pls let these sisters get drunk together.

it does not surprise me that eda likes to bring up the curse pretty casually as a retort back at lilith. it seems very in her nature to use it like that, but i can’t help but wonder if she’s avoiding actually addressing it. and if she keeps joking, will that affect lilith into like, idk a breakdown that forces the two of them to talk about it. 

LULU?? BESTIE?? thanks hooty i hate it

Luz you’re doing amazing sweetie, show them you’re no sea squirt. 

okay so now we can clearly see lilith’s magic is on it’s last legs. almost got herself fucking killed by some fire bees. that being said i’m very concerned about her whole “who am i without magic? without a coven?” i think she kinda misses the structure, and is still used to only knowing what to do simply because she had a leader to follow. 

“I AM A WITCH, UNHINGED” i think she’ll be adapting to the chaotic nature of the owl house crew in no time though if she keeps acting like this

“some kind of weird bird worm” i mean she’s not wrong....

“you have no idea what im going through” dramatic emo ass bitch

it does not surprise me that after pardoning eda, the coven would jump at the first opportunity to arrest her again. pretty sure she’ll be a wanted criminal again in no time.

golden guard very much concerns me. villains that go from really fun to intimidating or threatening as fast he seems to do here are ones i worry about. it kinda feels like he enjoys scaring people?? idk im not sure how to describe it. anyways threatening to hold them over the boiling seas where even the steam will give them third degrees feels really fucking cruel but maybe im empathizing here because at the time of writing this im still suffering from second degree burns i got three weeks ago so third degree sounds horrifying rn

love how excited lilith is seeing hooty at work when she’s not the one getting beaten up. 

I’m glad luz and eda are talking about luz’s guilt and that eda knows what she’s been carrying around now. i didn’t want to see luz carry around all that guilt for so long she’s too good for that AND its misplaced guilt. 

i do love though how at the beginning of the episodes we see the lengths eda will go to by prioritizing food for luz first and doing everything she can to keep the girl safe, and then we come back full circle to seeing the lengths luz is willing to go to for eda as well 

“my life is pretty great because i’m friends with luz the human” brb im CRYING.

Luz is SO clever. This girl is so smart and creative and her solution for helping the selkidomus is just wonderful. And also look at that fake selkidomus she made!! That is amazing!!

pls the raspberry Luz gave the golden guard was adorable

i LOVE the parallel between eda doing her first light glyphs and when luz did her first ones. i’m also glad eda didn’t struggle with the glyph like i’ve seen some people worry could have happened

just occurred to me that eda mentioned the gris will sell at the night market. its probably nothing but does make me concerned about them becoming night market vendors instead.

HOOTCIFER? thanks lilith i hate it. also combine it with lulu and you get lucifer. 

it’s hard to hear but as we go further into the scrying potion and see the emperor, and the very end of the “what are we eating” conversation that’s fading out from the owl house we hear lilith say “i’m fine with whatever, things are starting to feel right again” and idk if she means since she left the coven or for the first time since she was a kid but either way im so glad to hear it

also my brother pointed out belos is probably saying “knock knock human” because he knows he’s being spied on by the owl house with the potion and i hate that because if the emperor takes any action because of it, it’ll probably be another lilith fucked up moment because she didn’t think it through.

also, one other thing i couldn’t help but do in this episode was notice some parallels between luz and lilith! they’re both going out of their way to try and do something for eda, and are both insistent that they have to do this alone. but also lilith’s line about “you have no idea what im going through” really did make me think perhaps underneath everything she has a dramatic personality, and luz does too at times for fun and wouldn’t it be cute if they got along over something like that.

also this episode? great for pictures of lilith with messy hair, of her screaming, or general annoyance, so, enjoy:

pls i love this face and the noise she makes at this moment as well as her little ear twitch ^

this is my favorite messy hair screenshot  simply because it looks SO fluffy here and i want that for her ^

this particular screenshot ain’t about lilith, it’s about the face eda is making here and how cute it is!! ^

[dobsmoneylake]

Oxventurers touch an orb and **poof** they're in Elinore's Largely Legal Antiques staring at a surprised crew. What do?

AN: Thank you so much for the prompt! I am so sorry that this took so long, and I hope that it is worth the wait! Thanks to the Historian for beta-ing this. I own nothing.

The atmosphere at Eleanor’s Largely Legal Antiques was the same as it always was these days. It had lost some of its homey nature (as well as the smell of fish) since they had moved into the townhouse, but it retained the level of comfort that the crew had come to associate with their favorite HQ. It had also gained some level of repute, considering that it now functioned as a store-- helped, no doubt, by the removal of the fish smell.

In fact, Edvard, Lilith, and Zillah were currently in said shop, attempting to sell antiques. (Well, Zillah and Lilith were, Edvard was attempting to subtly determine if there was anything that could be of use in his innoventing before it was sold.) It was while they were there, standing behind the counter, that a sudden flash of light went off, starting our adventure.

When the light dimmed, they found that they were joined by a group of rather unusual people. For one thing, they were all dressed in clothes not seen in centuries. For another, they were arguing amongst themselves. Finally, one of them was red and the other was green. And one was Egbert.

The three crew members exchanged glances, debating with their eyes who would take the lead in the conversation. Finally, rolling her eyes, Zillah stepped forward. “Excuse me,” she said politely, “But who are you and how did you get here?”

The figure with the eyepatch scoffed. “What do you mean how did we get here? It’s not like ‘here’ is a particularly daring place to be. And how dare you not recognize the greatest pirate ever!” He struck a pose. “It is I, Corazón De Balleña, at your service,” he ended on a bow.

“Never heard of you, mate.” Lilith told him, “And I hate to break it to you, but we don’t have pirates anymore.”

Corazón scoffed. “That’s obviously because I’ve scared them all off. Honestly, use your head.” He looked around the shop. “So, where is ‘here’?”

“You’re in Volisport,” Zillah told him.

“Never heard of it,” he said dismissively. “Right, well we’ll just teleport ourselves out of your hair.”

The three crew members exchanged concerned looks. “What do you mean, you’ll teleport?” Edvard demanded. “Magic doesn’t exist.”

Corazón snorted, flicking his hand. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, mumbling the incantation for dancing lights.

Nothing happened.

Corazón narrowed his eyes and tried it again with the same result.

“I’m sorry,” Zillah said, “But is something supposed to be happening?”

At the same time, Prudence started laughing. “You’re right,” she said, “It is funny when it isn’t happening to you.”

“I told you,” Edvard said, “There’s no such thing as magic.”

Corazón took a deep breath before turning to the half-orc who was trying to hide behind an elf. “Dob,” he said calmly, “I’m going to kill you.”

*********

When Kas walked in a few minutes later, utter pandemonium had enveloped the shop. Corazón was chasing Dob around Merilwen, yelling about ‘not touching strange orbs, we’ve had this conversation before!’ Meanwhile, Lilith had struck up a conversation with Prudence about demon heritage, and Egbert was not-so-subtly leaving pamphlets for the crew to read.

Kas sighed and rubbed his eyes. At least his majesty wasn’t here. “What seems to be going on?” He asked, causing everyone in the room to freeze (this was especially impressive because he hadn’t even needed to raise his voice).

“Um, sorry,” Merilwen said from where she was sandwiched between Corazón (who was in the process of attempting to strangle Dob) and Dob (who had decided to cling to her back to avoid being strangled). “Oxventurers, can we have a huddle?”

The two groups exchanged glances before in one movement, the Oxventurers moved into a group circle. Speaking at normal volumes but still somehow going unheard, they conversed.

“What is going on? Who are these people?” Merilwen asked.

“Whoever they are, they are clearly not as cool and awesome as us,” Corazón replied, “I think we can take them.”

“We don’t even know if we need to take them,” Merilwen replied.

“Yeah! That one with the snake hair seemed nice,” Prudence said. At their blank stares, she rolled her eyes. “Besides, Corazón, can you even take them without your magic?”

“I don’t need magic to overthrow every enemy I face,” He declared, “Plus, you don’t have yours either!”

Prudence smiled, a sight that sent chills down the backs of more than one member of each group. “Yes, but I do have my rage.”

“Why do we have to fight them?” Egbert asked. “Can’t we just see if they can help us?”

“Do they look like they know how to help us? This is a job only we can solve!” Corazón declared.

“It can’t hurt to ask them,” Dob said.

“Shut up, Dob, this is all your fault!”

“Hey! That seems uncalled for.”

“No, Corazón is right,” Merilwen said, “You’re the one who touched the orb.”

“I told you, the orb wanted me to touch it,” Dob replied.

“Yeah, but now we’re here, Dob,” Egbert said, “And here isn’t the place I want to be.”

“I think we should ask them for help,” Prudence broke up the rekindling argument. “And since I have my rage and you don’t have your magic, I think you should listen to me.”

The rest of the group made eye contact and had a quick nonverbal conversation that resulted in Merilwen stepping forward. “Look, we’re sorry about this,” She said, “But my friend here touched a glowing orb that just screamed ‘do not touch’ and then we were teleported here. And now we just want to go home.”

The crew was silent as they looked at each other.

The awkward silent standoff ended as the door opened and Barnaby walked in. Upon seeing their guests, he did a double take before looking down at the open bottle of bourbon in his hand. “I say chaps,” he said, “I can usually hold my drink, but this stuff might be stronger than I thought.”

Brightening up, Egbert stepped forward. “I know someone who can help with that-- here, take a pamphlet.”

Luckily, they were interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

A few moments later, everyone turned to look at Barnaby, who was standing right next to the door. “Aren’t you going to get that?” Edvard asked.

Barnaby scoffed. “I may have drank enough to hallucinate people in the shop, but I know enough to remember that I don’t open doors.”

“Absolutely ridiculous,” Edvard muttered not-quite-under his breath, opening the door.

Unlike the hammer and vase set up that usually introduced a job for them, there was only a plain box. Upon opening the box, they found that it contained only a black orb-- a black orb that seemed very familiar to the Oxventurers. Along with the box came a note. “Instead of making you work for this one, I figured it would be best if we just got your friends out of here before any unsavory people noticed.”

“Does this seem too easy to anyone else?” Lilith piped up, “A complication has to come from this.”

“Nah, this seems about normal,” Dob said, “Something happens, we argue, a solution comes, everyone goes home nice and safe.” He paused for a second. “Why, does it not happen that way for you?”

“No, usually we try something, then something else goes wrong, then we solve that, then something else happens, then Zillah chokes someone out,” Lilith responded.

“Sometimes with her thighs,” Edvard added admiringly.

“Hey! I told you I’m working on finding a different panic response!” Zillah argued.

“Choking people out with your thighs? Can you teach me how to do that?” Prudence asked.

The other Oxventurers exchanged a concerned glance. “Ok, well it was lovely to meet you guys, goodbye,” Corazón said, quickly touching the orb.

The group disappeared with a flash of light and appeared in their own world where they had left it, with Dob just about to touch the orb.

“Dob, do not touch that,” Merilwen said.

“Oh I see how it is. I touch an orb and it’s all ‘Dob you idiot’, Corazón touches an orb and it’s all ‘well that’s fine!’” Dob threw his hands up in the air and walked off before he could realize that the orb was still glowing.

The rest of them looked at each other. “Motion that we never speak of this again?” Egbert asked.

The others agreed and walked off to join their chaotic bard.

*********

Back in the shop, the others looked at each other suspiciously. “That seemed too easy, didn’t it?” Kas asked, looking at the orb.

Miles away in the Dimmer Mansion, Kelly watched as the long dormant magical artifacts started emitting light hums. “It appears our plan has worked,” she said to Allie and Hallie. “Tell the members around the world to come home-- the Orbpacalypse has begun.”

[know-the-way]

I know it’s really stupid of me but I was kind of hoping for a redemption arc for Faustus. 😅😢

It’s not stupid, not at all! It’s natural to want to see the best in people, particularly when you believe they can be better than what they are now, so it’s completely understandable.

And, ya know, if the show gets picked up - he may have one yet still, we don’t know!

To me, this season really highlighted what the purpose of Faustus’ character is supposed to be, imo. Thinking of episode 4, we’re shown three different levels of corruption through three different characters.

The first is Harvey. Pure, sweet, golden boy Harvey is revealed to have some deep-seeded hatred of witches. Does he have any reason to hate witches? Well, let’s check - he lost a brother, got manipulated, controlled, and lied to by his first love, and has been in an endless cycle of extreme danger for the past year of his life. I think it’s fair to say we all understand that prejudice is not okay, but is it equally understandable why Harvey has some hang-ups about magic and witches? I personally think it is. (Not to the point of joining a literal witch hunt or angrily accusing your distressed best friend of killing your dad at her 17th birthday party 🙃, but understandable nonetheless.)

I personally think the intention with Harvey’s character being a cadet in Blackwood’s army was to demonstrate how, even when we believe someone to be morally good and just, they can become someone else when they endure pain and that pain is never properly addressed.

Did Sabrina apologize to Harvey for everything that happened between them? Yes. But did she repeat the same troublesome behaviors in different ways after that? Also yes. She didn’t demonstrate change in her actions, and a loootttt more happened with Harvey and the witch world in a negative way beyond his relationship with Sabrina, so the mistrust he feels isn’t entirely unjustified.

Then - “oh wow, oh my God, my second love has also hid being a witch from me, can I catch a fucking break here? Why should I ever trust another witch in my life?”

Answer: because they are humans, none being wholly good or bad, and they love you.

Roz talks to Harvey, tells him she believes he’s good, and demonstrably proves her own “goodness” by sacrificing herself to save others at Dr. C’s. Roz shows Harvey that she means what she says and her feelings for him are real - that she is a scared, broken human like him, just trying to do her best with what life has given her. Hence, when the moment of truth comes - Harvey remembers his humanity and proves his own “goodness” by saving her. But if Roz had never spoken to him, never acknowledged what he’d been through and that his feelings were valid... if no one had ever truly cared about his pain? It seems apparent that Harvey would have continued down a very dark path.

Which brings us to...

Mary. Mary has been literally murdered, had her identity hijacked by a demoness, her fiancé is dead, she doesn’t remember several months of her life, and her previous favorite student is a witch who has seemingly performed magic more than once on her.

Mary has every right to fear witches at this point. She has had zero trustworthy interactions with the witch world and from her perspective - her entire life has been stolen and no one cares. No one checks in on Mary, no one validates her pain, and as a result - no one in the witch world seems to have any compassion, humanity, or kindness in them. Enter the Pilgrims of the Night, who recognize her pain and fear without even knowing her, acknowledge it, and offer her solace in their congregation on the basis that her experience with witches is shared by the Reverend Lovecraft and his flock.

They prove themselves to her when the advice the Reverend/Faustus gives her (“let the dark in”) saves her life. My God, someone finally seems to care if she lives or dies!

People who care about others are good, so the church and the reverend’s mission must be good, too. Therefore, she is absolutely invested in whatever is asked of her and will blindly follow their lead in order to protect others from experiencing what she has. To me, Mary in the perverted universe represented the crossroads of corruption - where you truly believe what you’re doing is the right thing, even if it hurts others because those “others” have hurt you... and they will surely hurt again if you don’t stop them.

However, I think if Mary was finally told the truth - the full truth - and Lilith herself apologized for being the first piece in the puzzle... along with all the other witches... AND they showed that they actually cared about her well-being... Mary could find her way back through forgiveness. Or, at the very least, she could understand and process everything so that she could find a way to heal that doesn’t involve persecuting others.

And now, there’s Faustus. We aren’t entirely clear on Faustus’ history altogether, but we do know he’s had many experiences of being slighted by the churches of darkness (despite following the rules to a T).

He was rebuked by Edward for wanting to marry Zelda after mentoring him for who knows how many years, lost the office of high priest to him, and when he finally gets the title - here comes Edward’s self-righteous brat to fuck him over again. There he is trying to carry out the Dark Lord’s request to get Sabrina to sign her name in the Book of the Beast, even though she insults their doctrines and faith at every turn, and the coven and academy he’s had working like a well-oiled machine for the past 16 years is being slowly ripped apart. Why is the Dark Lord allowing this? Why is he having to endure a meddlesome child’s antics? Why is he not being rewarded for doing exactly as he’s been asked and returning the Church of Night to stability after Edward nearly destroyed it altogether? Like hello Dark Lord, can you throw me a fucking bone here?

Small victories - he finally secures Zelda’s hand in marriage and an audience with the anti-pope. This is what his life should’ve looked like two centuries ago, but no matter. He’s correcting it all now and by Satan, nothing is going to stop him this time.

But then...

Oh cool, Sabrina is here to intervene again and has presented the text of his old rival for consideration along with his (clearly superior) manifesto. What’s that, you say? Oh, she’s also gonna crash my wedding, accuse me of murder, and spread claims about my manifesto without having even read it? Wow, ahaha, sounds hilarious... except why am I not laughing?

He arrives in Rome and gets an inkling that the Dark Lord may finally be taking action about this heretical little monster because he’s offered the title of anti-pope by the unholy high council themselves. Finally, some appreciation! He just needs to hang on a little longer, eliminate these small meddlesome threats, and soon he will reside over a peaceful kingdom far removed from anymore mortal nonsense.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, what do you mean Sabrina convinces the council he’s unfit to be anti-pope? This is bullshit, man! You know what? Fuck this place, I’m gonna make my own damn church and ensure no other headstrong witches like Sabrina Buzzkill Spellman can ruin it. That’ll finally return things to ord- MY WIFE KEPT MY OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Alright, that’s it, The Spellmans are clearly here to poison others (ironic foreshadowing) - time to wash my hands of them completely, I am so over thi- what’s that? The Dark Lord’s here? GOOD. About time this asshole showed up to set people straight and remind them that the values of his unholy church, which Faustus has exemplified perfectly, must be respected.

You mean for me to bow down to whom now? The halfbreed brat who has been directly and willfully wreaking havoc on the congregation he’s patiently and painstakingly lead back to greatness? Are you fucking serious, m8? No. Absolutely not. No. I’m getting out of here, and since I won’t have the little twat poison anyone else, I will literally poison them instead. Be free, sheep!

It’s up until this point that I believe Faustus was still mostly at the crossroads stage, same as Mary. He believed everything he was doing was the right thing, based on the teachings from the religion he devoted his entire life to, and that he’d be rewarded for serving the Dark Lord so faithfully - until the Dark Lord proved several times in succession that his religion was all a lie. That three+ centuries worth of groveling and abiding and waiting has meant absolutely nothing.

So now we have the Eldritch terrors. Beings more powerful than the oldest gods. He spends 15 years isolated in a time bubble purifying himself, devoting everything to them, and won’t it be so glorious when they welcome him into his ranks? He’s set them free now, after all, they owe it to him.

But doing the same action over and over and expecting a different result is what? The definition of insanity, friends. Of course the Eldritch terrors reject him, too... of course Sabrina gains their attention and veneration instead... of course he should have tried to seize their power for himself a long time ago... so, fuck it all, he’ll do that now. There is no right and wrong, there is no observed justice - if there was, he would have been rightfully recognized for all the time, effort, and pain he’s endured only to receive nothing in return.* No one ever acknowledged his pain... no one ever even considered it. Over time, that takes its toll.

(*Clearly, I mean this to be from Faustus’ perspective and not my own.)

Of course, he has inflicted more than his fair share of pain himself and I am of the personal belief he needed to pay for that, but... equally imagine being hurt over and over and watching those who did it walk away, not only without reprimand, but with the belief that they were right and just to do it? Could it slowly drain on one’s soul to watch the rules apply to some and not others? Debatable, I suppose, but I personally think yes.

So... I say all of this only to point out that there is still potential to acknowledge his pain. And thus, there is imo still potential to understand, communicate properly (I am very interested in any conversations he and Sabrina may have had during their training - I know he said she took a vow of silence, but clearly some talking occurred for Sabrina to learn so much about the void from him), grow, and finally - for him to be given the chance to repair everything he had a hand in breaking. It wouldn’t be an easy or painless task to get to that point, and no one would be faulted for not trusting him to do so, but I think there is potential for it. If they get picked up and they want to finally allow the characters some time to reflect and process shit, they could include Faustus in that.

[rxally-borxng]

Perhaps I though too much about distressed clon Luz from @ok-craig-ofthe-loud-tales-go post and wrote something about how I imagine one of Luz and Creepy Luz conversations after the war and everything else. Perhaps.

Random one shot time? Heck yeah!

PD:

Luz = Human Luz. She spent the summer in the camp.

Luz = Clon Luz. She spent the summer in the Boiling Isles.

* * * * *

"So..." Luz hear how Luz coughed behind her. "I guess I should say... I am thou, thou art I?" Muttered shily. Luz blinked and turned around, looking at Luz with severity. "Sorry, not the time for referencial jokes. I- I get it. "

And after those words, the park was silent again. Luz took a deep breath, letting her memories of years ago reached the surface. Or well, Luz's memories because she wasn't real and- And-

This is too mess up.

Luz hugged her legs, trying to keep her breathing steady and her thoughts under control. The last thing she wanted was to lost her cool in front of- of Luz. The real one. The wanted one. The-

Crap, she was crying again.

"Ey." Luz rubbed her eyes hard after Luz's words, in an attemp to wipe away any trace of tears. Then, she noticed how Luz has sit next to her under the tree, leaving a little space between them. "You're okay? "

No.

"Yes. "

Luz hummed, not really conviced about that answer, but choosing not to press the issue.

And again, both of them stayed quiet, glacing at each other without knowing what to say.

This is too awkward, even for me... Well, Luz.

"So... How are the Boiling Isles? "

The question made Luz start babbling shocked. She fixed her eyes on Luz, waiting for her to tell her that she was joking, that what she really wanted to ask was why she was there, ruining her time with mom- No, Luz mom.

But Luz only was smiled encouraging, hinting to Luz that she had no hidden intentions. She was just curious, or at least was trying to look intrigued about the Demon Realm.

"They're..." There were a lot of words to describe the Boiling Isles: impressive, dangerous, mysterious... But for some reason, those weren't the words that came to her mind when she though about the Isles. "Slimy. "

"What? Slimy?" Repeated Luz laughing.

"And stinky. And gross." Told Luz, noticing how she was starting to smile. "But when you look at them, really look at them, they're... Beautiful. In a strange way. "

"Sounds like a- "

"Nice place?" Suggested Luz.

"I was going to say weird, but they look nice too." Said Luz cheerfully.

"Well, they're pretty weird. I mean, have you seen Eda? "

"The old lady who has come with you? "

"Don't let her know that you think she's old, but yep." Answered Luz while she was looking at the other girl, aware that she understood what she was trying to say. "That's Eda. And she lost her head when we met. Literally. "

"You're kidding. "

"Nope. Apparently, be able to separated your body in pieces is one of the most popular sides effects from curses. Or at least, that's what Lilith told me. " Said Luz remembering how excited she was when Lilith was explaining her discoveries about the curse, after spending a few weeks with Gwendolyn.

"Lilith? "

"Eda's sister. She lived with us in The Owl House after she ran away from the Emperor's Coven. "

"Let me guess, the Coven is bad? "

"Pretty bad, but it's the Emperor's fault." Luz scowled. "There's a lot of good people who is part of it. Or was, like Lilith. And well, before we stopped Eda's petrification. And Willow and Gus believed that the Belos was a cool dude. And Amity wanted to join, so... "

"Willow, Gus, Amity... Those are a lot of names. "

"They're amazing. And the best part is that they really like you. I don't want to brag, but they're the best friends you could ask for. "

Luz was about to say something, but chose to shut her mouth, with a serious look in her eyes and Luz percieved how the moment was suddenly broken, not knowing what happened.

"Something is wrong?" Muttered Luz, trying to figurate out what was the matter. And with that question, Luz's seriousness was replaced by concern.

"You don't know? "

"I- "

"You said that they like me." Told Luz with soft voice.

"Because they like you." Answered Luz quickly. She noticed how her heartbeat began to increase and how difficult it was to breath properly.

I don't want to hear it.

"But... I don't know them." Said Luz slowly, with a sad smile.

Please, I don't want to.

"And they don't know me. "

Por favor, para.

"They're not my friends... "

No lo digas, no quiero decirlo. No quiero-

"They're yours. "

"They are not my friends because I'm nothing, okay?" Shouted Luz, squeezing her eyes.

I didn't want to say it... It's still hurt too much.

She didn't want to cry, especially noy when she shouldn't be allowed to. She wasn't real, for fuck sake! Just a defective copy from Luz, a magical puppet that didn't want to think like a puppet, apparently.

What am I doing wrong?

"I..." Luz stopped, taking a deep breath before she could say whatever she wanted to say. Maybe an apologize or... "I didn't stop a petrification spell. "

What?

"What?"

"I said that I didn't stop a petrification spell." Repeated Luz carefully. "And I didn't live with Lilith or Eda in a magical house, and... "

"What... What are you trying to say? I- I don't get it. You- "

"No, not me. You." Interrumped Luz frowing, although she didn't look mad. "I spent my summer learning how to pay bills-" Commented with a small laugh. "While you were out there, hanging out with witches and defeating bad guys with magic."

"Perdón... "

"There's no need for that. Camp... wasn't so bad, but I have to say that living in the Boiling Isles sounds cooler." Told Luz while she playing with a blade of grass. "I met nice people, got more interested in the real world, and... I guess I want to think that I'm more responsible now. But that's my summer, not yours. And the same happen with your summer, that is... Well, yours. "

"But I'm your-" Started to say Luz shily, feeling too lost and scared of what Luz was saying.

"Clon? Yes, but you're not me. "

"I'm your copy. I'm supposed to be you! Not anybody else! "

"But you're not me or anybody else. You are you." Insisted Luz, grabbing Luz's shoulder with one of her hands. "You can looked like me... Well, more less." Laughed Luz, pointing out with her fingers a little scar in Luz's face. "But you're your own person. With your adventures, and your friends, and your problems. And maybe you are my... Doppelganger, but that doesn't mean anything. "

"Luz, I..." Luz gulped with clenched fists, too scared to talk. Or at least, to hear a hopeful answer, one that could make her feel relieved. "I can't do that. "

"Why not? "

"Because I'm not real. I'm fake, a tool and-" Luz groaned when she felt the hit on her shoulder, turning her face angry. "¿A qué ha venido eso? "

"You were being dumb. Again." Luz rolled her eyes, not really affected by her clon's fury. "You're real to me. To Eda, to Lilith, to... Everybody!" Growled tired, too focus on the ground to see how Luz was starting to weep. Or perhaps she just wanted to give Luz a moment without any kind of judgement to express her feelings. "The only one who doesn't believe it is... You. And maybe it's time for you to start doing it. "

"I don't know how." After listening that words, Luz's sour expression turned into a warmer one.

"It's not going to be easy, but... You're were doing fine before all of this." Pointed Luz, obviously talking about the discovery of Luz's true nature. "I'm sure you'll figure out. And in the meantime, we'll be here for you." Said Luz, choosing that moment to stand up and hold out her hand towards Luz.

"Pinky promised?" Joked Luz, hiding pretty bad her fear and gaining a small snort from Luz.

"Pinky promised, Luz." Sweared Luz before she grabbed Luz's hand and helped her getting on her feets.

Both of them stayed quiet, and suddenly Luz broke into laughs.

"What?" Asked Luz, not really understanding what was so funny.

"You called me Luz and I don't know. After all this talk, it feels funny to hear you calling me Luz."

"Now that you mention it, it's really confusing to be Luz and Luz..." Mumbled Luz, beggining to walk back home, where Eda and Camila must have been waiting. "Would you like to be call something else?"

A new name, huh?

Luz kept silent for a moment, before she smiled grateful.

"That would be... Nice. Yeah, I would like that. "

"Okay, so what about... ¿Luzura la Bruja Buena? "

"I think I change my mind. Forget about the new name. "

"Come on! It's a good name."

"No, it's not!"

But it's good start.

* * * * *

If you're here, thank you so much for reading! ❤

Spanish dictionary:

Por favor, para = Please, stop

No lo digas, no quiero decirlo. No quiero = Don't say it, I don't want to say. I don't want to

Perdón = Sorry

La Bruja Buena = The Good Witch

[sepublic]

Eda and Willow

           All right, but @megadan94 brought to my attention that Eda and Lilith parallel Willow and Amity, and I’m kind of caught up over this idea?

           There’s that idea that a perceived power disparity separated the two… In Lilith’s case, she saw herself as weaker than Eda. Amity saw Willow as weaker than her, or at least her parents fed this idea into her head and used it as justification, until even Amity began to believe in it… At least to the point where I believe Amity low-key began to blame Willow for not being strong enough to be her friend. Obviously the parallels aren’t one-to-one here, but they never were amongst various character’s compared and contrasted relationships…

           Additionally, you have Eda and Willow as being innately talented and powerful, much moreso than Lilith and Amity! Lilith talks a lot about having to work smart to keep up, and Amity of course likely has her own natural skill as well; But it’s not as much as Willow’s, and it’s not enough to keep up with her parents’ incessant expectations, so she really has to invest so much time and energy into being the absolute best. Amity and Lilith, of course, also want to be in the Emperor’s Coven- Well, Lilith wanted to and then WAS, but now she’s left and is open to realizing how much it truly sucked in retrospect. Amity and Lilith both have a lot of genuine skill and talent; But they constantly feel the need to be better regardless, because they’re always compared to someone who’s naturally better…

           In this scenario, we have Lilith comparing herself to Eda, competing for that spot in the Emperor’s Coven- And then we have Amity likely being set up against Emira and Edric. It’s a mutual feeling of never being good enough, and not being able to recognize your own worth… Likewise, Eda and Willow are incredibly powerful, although both were restricted by the Coven System, and left unable to really explore their talents. Eda couldn’t pursue all forms of magic, Willow was stuck in Abominations… It’s only by an act of defiance to the rules that they’re ultimately given the chance to explore themselves. Eda and Willow also arguably have a nurturing side to them, compared to others in the show; Eda has her motherly instincts with the Bat Queen’s children, and Luz and King for that matter… While Willow is incredibly nurturing to her plants, and encourages the best growth out of them.

           Eda and Willow encourage others to be the best they can be; And you can make that comparison between them and Luz, who plays a HUGE role in both of their lives, too! And while it’s not overt, and possibly more speculation than actual canon… It’s worth noting that even with Willow’s past issues with Amity, she never really brings them up, nor does she get in the way of Luz’s friendship with her. Maybe she might’ve brought it up out of potential concern for Luz; But otherwise, Willow didn’t want to impose her own experiences onto Luz’s, and she wanted Luz to form her own opinions on the subject.

           And that’s… A LOT like Eda’s stance on Luz, joining Hexside! Hexside hurt and traumatized Eda, just as Amity did to Willow- But Eda still recognizes the worth of Hexside and what it has to offer, just as Willow knows that Amity isn’t inherently terrible and was a good friend in her own way. Eda and Willow know that Hexside and Amity mean a lot to Luz, and they don’t want to get in the way of that; At least, they don’t want Luz to get hurt. But they also recognize that their experiences may not be universal, that things may have changed- And sometimes they won’t until you put a step forward and let your loved one participate. Eda and Willow have rightful reservations about the institution/person that Luz wants to engage with…

           But in the end, they decide that Luz deserves the right to form her own opinion. They don’t want to hypocritically impose their own will onto others, and tell them what to do; Not after going through the same, with Eda and Willow oppressed by the Coven System respectively. And by letting Luz engage with the institution/person that hurt them… It enables Eda and Willow to make amends through Luz, and emerge so much happier as a result! By letting Luz do what she wants, Eda manages to change Hexside for the better, and Willow also does the same to Amity- They both indirectly help the thing that hurt them, and ensure that nobody else is hurt by it either! Eda and Willow just don’t want others to be hurt like they were… And by being emotionally mature and recognizing this, they open the true opportunity to protect not just Luz, but really anyone who would interact with Hexside/Amity…

           It also allows Eda and Willow to make peace with a painful past, too! Because Eda DID enjoy her time at Hexside, she had fun with Grudgby and loved learning, even if a lot of her curriculum wasn’t exactly legal… And Willow truly enjoyed Amity and cared for her and vice-versa, just as Bump really wanted the best for Eda, he was just scared by Belos! Just as Amity wanted the best for Willow, but she felt pressured by her parents… One way or another, Eda and Willow recognize the circumstances behind their split as a bit more complicated and nuanced than the other person being terrible- And this applies to Eda recognizing that Lilith was also indoctrinated by the Coven System herself. Which, coupled with their sisterhood and Lilith’s change of heart, prompts Eda to make the steps to forgive her… Or at least make amends.

           This is all making me imagine Eda being hesitant about Luz and Lilith interacting later down the line- But possibly not wanting to get in the way of either of them. Because she sees how much happier the two of them are for it, she doesn’t want to unproductively bring up old pains if it only means causing a rift… And Eda knows that Lilith could really benefit from some new connections, and by getting to know Luz, Lilith can respect her surrogate daughter and better understand Eda’s own decisions in life. Obviously I can see Eda being hesitant- But she just wants the best for people in the end.

           Then, you have Eda and Willow being ostracized. Bullied, treated as lesser, having their status as Witches questioned; Eda is called the Owl Lady, no doubt treated as a freakish monster, and loses her magical ability as the curse progresses. Willow is called Half-a-Witch and repeatedly bullied and tormented, until she really begins to form a negative view of herself, if Inner Willow’s raging state in Understanding Willow is any indication… Both Eda and Willow have a crisis of self-identity, of how they perceive themselves. But ultimately, Eda learns to overcome this, while Willow does so as well- Especially with Luz’s help! Both of them have also become rebels to the Coven System in their own way… Eda’s reasons are obvious. It took a while for Willow- But after seeing the injustice done onto Eda of all people, fittingly enough… She takes a stance.

           Willow rallies an entire crowd at the Conformatorium to vouch for Eda’s release, thereby planting the seeds of revolution (ba-dum tsss) in a way that Eda always wanted to as a kid, but never quite could… Up until Luz arrived. When Luz the outlier arrives, she really changes things for the better, and spurs Eda and Willow to put themselves out there, to be themselves- To believe in old passions and connections they miss, while also learning to grow as individuals too! Eda learns to connect with society again, ultimately leading to her having a hand in making a change through Luz; And Willow learns to stand up for herself, recognize the injustice of Belos, and lead a protest!

          They can both be powerful leaders and symbols of rebellion in their own right, so it’s appropriate that Eda and Willow serve as focal points for the revolution’s beginning in the season finale… Eda’s treatment being an example of what’s wrong with the Coven System, and Willow pointing this out to others. Willow recognizes Eda for who she is, and while a lot of this is no doubt influenced by Eda’s connection to Luz… It’s with Luz that I see Eda and Willow potentially connecting with one another more, later down the line. Maybe they have a discussion or at least see the similarities; I can see Eda thanking Willow or feeling indebted in her own subtle way, while being proud of Willow’s rebellion and encouraging it. Eda inspired Willow in her own way… And really, who’s to say Willow doesn’t inspire Eda, too?

          Willow’s friendship with Luz shows Eda that there’s a lot Hexside can offer the girl; Interactions with kids her age, to name one of them! And Willow vouching for Eda shows that Eda is a worthwhile person… The protest leads Eda to realize she DID leave an impact, that others appreciate her, and it’s not just Luz or King that like Eda! Even this rando kid appreciates Eda… It was Eda who brought Luz to the Boiling Isles in the end, and it was Eda’s maturity that led to Luz getting to hang out with Willow more at Hexside. Willow appreciates Eda for who she is for Luz, and how this indirectly led to Luz’s impact on Willow; And the same could be seen vice-versa, too! Eda doesn’t care much for Willow, but Luz does, so who is she to judge- Luz deserves to interact with other kids her age, make connections with the students! And it’s all just bringing me back to Really Small Problems, how Eda includes Willow as among being her ‘dumb kids’…

           Obviously Willow already has two loving fathers who are married to one another- But hey, who’s to say Eda can’t be a fun aunt to her? The more the merrier… I’d love to see Eda and Willow, subtly if not openly, recognize a shared solidarity and kinship among them. Maybe Eda says that she knows how Willow felt, when Willow brings up past frustrations with the Coven System; And I’m just enjoying that one time Eda pulled Willow’s hood over her head at Covention! Maybe Eda can teach Willow to really revel in and embrace herself, to unapologetically practice self-love, the way Eda learned. In some ways, Willow is like Eda as a kid- But things turned out better for her, than they did for Eda in the past… And Eda, she’s glad and happy for this, that nobody else has to go through what she did! And Willow can show her that, hey, things can turn out better for Eda too- Not just for the present, but even retroactively with old mistakes and grievances addressed.

[colemacgrathtkz]

Treachery over here

Previous. Next

Disclosure: I decided to take another look at where my contributions were headed, here. We got a lot of new stuff from the second season. For me, that means more to work with. That being said, it also means some ideas get scrapped.

[ Two weeks after "Crashed course"]

Down in what they called the "Owl bunker", Luz was kept under tight watch. They didn't think the owl house was the best place to keep her. Prior to her arrival, the gang had made a bunker only known to original rebels. Eda, Willow, Lilith, Gus, King, and Amity. Even with her sitting in chains, they were still afraid of her. They each took turns trying to talk to the girl that brought them together.  When Eda and King were with her, she'd talk about her homesickness. With Willow and Gus, she'd deflect interrogations about the Empress with inquiries about them. With Lilith, she'd just sit there with sullen eyes; not saying a word. The few times Amity chose to see her, she didn't say anything on the way out.

Eventually, Willow asked the "New Coven" leader to help make a hard decision. It had been something floating over their heads since they saw the crystal balls. Amity was about to leave the bunker when Eda blocked the door.

Eda: "Just a minute, kiddo. We need to talk."

Lilith pulled up a chair for her former student. The youngest Blight hung her head and fixed her gaze on the ground. Once she finally sat down, Gus was the first to speak.

Gus: "Look, I don't like this anymore than anyone else does. But what are we going to do with her now? We all saw what she tried to hide from us. That's some messed up human work she had cooking up!"

Willow: "She still won't talk about what she was up to or how she was going to do it. But, I can't believe I'm saying this, I'm more afraid of who isn't here. Amity, you said the Empress and Luz are two different people?"

Amity: "Something like that. Whatever Belos had, it wasn't natural. It burrowed into Luz and made that... horror."

Lilith: "I've been researching everything I could get my hands on this ritual you performed. But it appears you have bonded it to her soul. I'm afraid there's still very little we or anyone else knows about it. Where did you find it?"

Amity: "I'd really rather not go back there."

Twiddling their thumbs, everyone was still nervous to say it. King couldn't stand to just sit there, uncomfortable, and wait for them to stop beating around the bush.

King: "Are you really going to kill her?"

Finally, the real debate.

Eda: "Woah, woah, woah, put a sock in it! No one said anything about--"

Lilith: "Pardon me, sister..."

Eda(agitated): "No! You are not going to say, ' let's consider this, Edalyn'?!"

Gus: "Maybe we should give it a fair say?"

Eda: "You too, dweeb?!"

Gus: "She messed with our heads. It wasn't an accident like with Willow. She was up to something and still won't even talk about it."

Eda: "Last time, she didn't have a parting gift, from Belos, sloshing around inside her!"

Gus: "And now, she's stuck with it. She isn't who she used to be. We've had to make sure she isn't using illusion magic to trick us again.

At that moment, King threw a stuffed animal at Amity's head.

King: "Just checking."

Willow: "You're right. She isn't who she used to be. But that doesn't mean we go down that road. I don't think it was all an act. This might be wishful thinking. But maybe she really is still Luz. It's just this other fake that's got her hostage."

King climbed onto Amity's lap to get a better stance on this argument.

King: "So, what do you want to do?"

Willow: "We keep her here until we're absolutely sure there's nothing else in Belos' old archives. He lived with it, too. He's got to have had something."

Gus: "Meanwhile, Luz could break out at any moment. The conformatorium isn't going to work. I don't like suggesting this either. But we already tried sending her away."

Lilith: "Correction! Amity Blight sent her away. It was a decision made out of desperation and fear. Much like the one you're suggesting. May I speak now, dear sister?"

Eda looked mildly impressed as she gestured for her sister to take the floor. Lilith had sat quietly. But now, she made her way to Amity's side. She kneeled down and placed one hand on the young girl's shoulder.

Lilith: "I know you cared for her. And despite everything, we all still do. What you did was to save the girl you fell in love with. But we all charged into that last battle without knowing all the details. The fact that the former emperor Belos was human, for instance! Much less that he had a trap like that waiting for whoever replaced him. This isn't your fault. Of course someone was going to pay for our ignorance. While binding the both of them to that staff bought us some time, it was just a young girl doing something because she was scared. Now, we must find a way to clean up this mess. After all, she's counting on us. She's stuck with it, but she isn't that beast. Once we break that chain, we can move onto killing the beast. Properly, this time."

Everyone kept glancing at one another after Lilith's little speech. Eda stood proud of her sister. 

Eda: "Dang, Lily, that was great.”

Lilith: "I know a little something about this. Your student has been teaching us about second chances, even me. Especially me."

Amity petted King before taking him off her lap.

Amity: "Thank you. I didn't know you'd say that. I'll remember that. We both will."

A double take was done at her last comment. But an unfamiliar melody was beginning to play just outside.

Amity: " Finally!"

With both hands, the "New Coven leader" immobilized Willow, Eda, and King. Her abominations rose and held them from behind. The door burst open and scouts from the old coven rushed in. Lilith and Gus were detained. Once the scene had calmed down, Kikimora strolled in.

Kikimora: "I wasn't sure a brat like you could pull this off. You may have a sprinkle of my respect."

Amity( glaring): "She's in the room down the hall. Think you manage to move a girl in chains?"

Eda(furious): "Traitor!"

Amity: "It's not like that, Eda."

Kikimora gestured for scouts to retrieve the captive waiting for them.

Eda: "What was your price, huh? How'd they get to you?"

Amity: "Actually, I found them. Wasn't hard. I figured they'd take the bait. But I think you're not getting the whole picture."

The scouts returned with a Noceda, still in chains.

Luz: "Eda! That's not me!"

A little confused, "Amity'' cleared up the misunderstanding.

Amity(Luz): "Body swap! The only thing to do when friends can't see eye to eye, right, Eda?"

Gus: "Those chains should have kept you from using magic. How'd you do it?"

The imposter signaled the intruders.

Amity(Luz): " I think it's pretty clear I've got help."

Willow: "Why would you ever work for her?"

Kikimora: "I would never debase myself so much that I’d work under a human! This is for the true ruler of the Boiling Isles."

Amity(Luz): "I'll switch us back soon, Amity. I don't want to keep my awesome girlfriend in the dark any longer."

The scouts at the door stepped aside for the last party crasher.

Lilith felt utter dread as her blood ran cold.

Belos stood there, in the moonlight.

Amity(Luz): "Surprise, witch! I bet you thought you'd seen the last of him?!"

Bonus:

Amity( Luz): "Not to sound creepy, but it's pretty cool to hear your voice talk like me. Oh, I can totally teach you some anime songs now! Hang on, I need to reach into my pocket for a sec-"

Luz( still in Amity's body) personally escorted her girlfriend to her new chambers.

Her prisoner flinched as her hand came near.

Amity(Luz): "I know it's weird hearing 'you' say this, but couldn't you say something, please? You've been quiet since we left the others."

An elegant room was presented before them.

Amity(Luz): "I'm not going to let them hurt you or any of them, ok? So, come on, don't leave me hanging, Blight? There are worse places they would have picked. But your loving Luz just wants us to be happy. I promise, I'm going to show you what Luz Noceda can do."

No response, and someone was getting restless.

Amity(Luz): "There's got to be something you want to say? Or maybe hear me say, hmm? Last chance?"

Nothing.

Amity(Empress): "Will you just-"

A faint red glow appeared on the witch's pale skin. But unlike before, it flickered. She clenched her heart as the pain sent her tumbling to the floor. With her free hand, she started up the spell. 

Amity(Luz):" Ok, I need my body back."

Finding herself standing, she noticed Amity hadn't made a move to her side. She watched her girlfriend get off the floor and sit on the bed of her "nice" prison.

Luz tried to reach out to her. With her arms closed, Amity jerked away; not even looking.

Luz: "I hurt you, I get that. But I do want to talk. I'll be close by, when you're ready. I just want to see my awesome girlfriend, then I'll go. So, will you turn around, please?"

Luz had seen her enraged before. She braced herself for what face she'd see this time.

After a couple of seconds, the look on the witch's face wasn't one she could prepare for. There was nothing. No pity. No rage. And worst of all, no love. Just nothing.

Luz stumbled back from the memories of her old school life. The way her old classmates had rejected her. Seeing the look on Amity's face, she couldn't spend another second in that room.

Author's note:

I was really looking forward to Lilith's little speech. And, yeah, I was just looking for an excuse to use that "Surprise, witch" line. 

As for the body swap, I wanted to clear something up. Thanks to Uberduck.ai, people have been having alot of fun.

I set the format to be: a person's body along with the voice people hear( person inside).

It might be confusing, but I did it this way because of the Owl house body swap episode. While we, the audience, can still hear Alex Hirsh play King. I wasn't sure if the characters could hear the same voice coming out of Luz.

Sarah-Nicole Robles: "I've got some very confusing emotions right now."

Just a personal note, but I thought it would have been funny if the actors had to perform these lines like their co- stars would have.

[prrplwtch]

Hello! I really loved your angsty breakup hcs with the brothers, but they also made me sad and in need of fluff. If it’s not too much of a bother, can we get some fluffy hcs of MC coming back to the boys and getting back together? Not out of like desperation but because MC truly loves them, ya know? Thank you love!

Gladly - I do love a happy ending 💜I have to apologize though, as much as I tried, there is still some angst in this fluff. 

(also this post is a loose continuation of the break up post - 

https://purrplewitches.tumblr.com/post/190833802315/angst-hc-request-how-would-the-brothers-react with one difference being that MC hasn’t left devildom)

Lucifer: 

Lucifer is definitely not the man to forgive easily, but after MC learns truth about Lilith and, thus the reason behind his loyalty to Diablo, they want to apologize and Lucifer is willing to hear them out. 

The conversation is a tough one, since Lucifer was greatly hurt by the lack of trust. However, he is still deeply in love with MC and also understands in the back of his mind that, perhaps, all this could have been avoided if he had trusted them more, Lucifer and MC reconcile. 

They don’t get back together right away - it takes some time. 

Lucifer and MC both understand that he secrets can tear them apart yet again, so they spend a lot of time together talking about things - important and not so important, just so there is no secrets between them. 

One evening they are sitting in Lucifer’s room and talking, and MC suddenly finds themselves quite tired, since it’s late at night - and doesn’t even realize that they fall asleep. The next morning they wake up in Lucifer’s bed, clearly tucked in by him. Lucifer is not there, but MC cannot help but smile.

Somehow it seems that they are falling in love all anew. MC and Lucifer both find their hearts fluttering with anticipation of upcoming meetings and a mere brush of hand against hand causes all sorts of happy feelings. 

It still takes a while before they kiss for the first time after the break up. 

One day they were returning from the academy together, and, when they were parting, MC kissed him out of habit. For a moment, MC was all shy and embarrassed, but, apparently, this kiss was quite welcome because Lucifer immediately pulled them in for another kiss. 

This time, the next levels of physical intimacy happen much slower than the last time, though that does not stop Lucifer and MC from sharing many many cuddles as they spend time together in his room.

When it finally happens it is significantly less passion-driven than last time and more of a making love. They greatly enjoy getting cuddly afterwards.

After they are once again officially in a relationship, Lucifer suddenly finds himself pondering next steps (aka marriage). A part of him wants to tie their fates together so that they cannot part again like they did last time. 

He knows that may scare MC though, so he shows a lot of patience.

Mammon:

When MC comes back to apologize for calling him unreliable, Mammon doesn’t want to hear it. Of course he does.  But, luckily MC is persistent, and in the end he gives in, letting them apologize and tell him that they were being unfair. 

He is still tremendously hurt over break up, but he is so in love with MC and needs their emotional support, that he does not have the heart to tell them to leave him be.

It takes some time before Mammon can relax around MC again, but seeing how they are making an effort to make amends, he tries. After a while, he feels more comfortable in their company. 

MC is the one who initiates the conversation about getting back together. Mammon is reluctant at first, seeing as they called him unreliable, but since he loves them so much, he cannot bear not being together. And no the thought that MC will date someone else doesn’t play at all into his thought process. 

Though he is supremely excited about being back together with MC probably wants to take things super slow, because there is still a worry in him about getting hurt. 

Even still, he actually finds out that he cannot take it slow - when MC is next to him, he wants to hug them, kiss them, feel them. 

Likely goes through the second “honeymoon period”, where he blushes profusely when MC touches his hand or turns into a blushing, stuttering mess when they are wearing something revealing. 

Cuddle time for days! That was one of the things he missed about the relationship and now being able to hold MC in his hands feels completely magical. 

Eventually he moves on from the hurt of the break up and becomes his old self. 

The first time that he and MC sleep together after making up, he feels nervous, as if it is their first time, but everything turns out well and that makes him so, so happy. 

Never wants to leave MC’s side after they completely reconcile. Promises to try and be more considerate and reliable, but his heart soars when he hears that MC loves him exactly like he is. 

Leviathan

When MC wants to apologize for their harsh words, Levi acts like he does not care. “Of course a normie like you would not understand”. However, he cares very much, and it is very important to him that MC apologized. 

Takes his time before he allows her to hang out with him again - he still remembers the negative things she said about his anime and video games, so he is worried that they will be bored around him. 

However, eventually, he needs a second player for one of his games and the only person who is available is MC, so he invites them to play with him. As they play together, he remembers how nice and easy it was to spend time together, and he finds himself missing the happier times of their relationships more. 

The more they hang out, the more he wants to get back together - he knows he’d never felt that way about anyone and is sure that he’ll never feel this way about anyone ever again. 

He wouldn’t dream of asking MC to be his s/o though, since the break up is still fresh in his memory - he still thinks that he does not deserve them - so MC will have to be the one to bring up the subject. 

When MC brings up the subject, Levi, at first, gets all insecure, just like the last time, thinking that they were joking. When he finds out that they were not, he gets serious and tells MC that he would only get back with them if MC promised to accept him and his anime, manga, video games etc.

Once he secures the promise, he agrees to a relationship. 

Just like the first time around, Levi is super awkward when it comes to showing any kind of physical affection, and he blushes even when something as minor as MC’s hand brushing his happens, but still he is happy. 

He is a little guarded at first, but he has never felt as at ease with anyone as he did with MC, so he let’s his “defenses” down. 

Their first kiss after getting back together is just like their first kiss before they started dating the previous time - almost accidental, brief, a little awkward, but painfully sweet. 

It takes a while for Levi to work up the courage to sleep with MC, but eventually he does. He greatly enjoys the cuddles that they share afterwards - he really missed those. 

Like Lucifer, Levi is considering proposing marriage to MC (also secretly, since he thinks it might scare them off) and even had began researching the perfect wedding - mostly through watching romance anime and reading romance manga,  

Satan

At first, Satan does not want to talk about it - MC rejected his love and left him, what else is there to talk about. Only a certain part of him keeps telling him, that, perhaps, she had a reason, and eventually he gives in and has a conversation with them. 

So then, after MC apologizes, Satan feels confused - normally, he does not really accept apologies, but this case is different. Somehow hearing them apologize makes him feel worse - mostly because he knows that his anger issues are, in fact, pretty bad. 

So then he tells MC that there is no need to apologize. MC still insists, and, despite himself, Satan starts feeling better. 

Healing is a slow process for him and he is reluctant to spend time around MC - both because they hurt him and also because he is nervous about accidentally losing control of his temper. MC gives him space, however, but is always open if he wants to spend time with her and that calms him down a little bit. 

The whole process of getting Satan to trust MC again is kind of like trying to make friends with a stray cat to try and adopt it - MC and Satan can be often found reading in the living room of the house of lamentation. They are not quite sitting together, but they are still pretty close to each other. 

Satan realizes just how much he misses MC when they start discussing books again. It’s always exciting and the conversations usually last into wee hours of the morning. 

It takes a while, but Satan realizes that he wants to get back together - the only problem is that he is too proud to admit it. 

But then one evening, they are sitting next to each other on the couch and reading, and MC says that they want to go to sleep, and out of habit Satan finds himself kissing them goodnight. It scares him - both how goos and how natural it feels. 

He is unsure on how to proceed, but MC gets ahead of him the very next day by asking if he would like to get back together. 

They have a serious conversation, during which Satan admits that he will likely always have quite a bit of a temper, and MC tells him that they love him anyways - and that they deeply regret ever leaving him. 

They take it slow when it comes to the relationship, but Satan would be lying if he said that he did not utterly and completely miss cuddling with MC on the couch as both of them are reading. 

So yes, once they get back together, they spend quite a bit of time cuddling while reading. They are a little bit slower with other forms of physical affection - it takes about a week before they share another kiss and slightly over a month before they become intimate with each other again. 

As he holds MC in his arms, Satan does not understand how he let them go so easily - how he did not fight for the relationship, when the thought of being without them is utterly and completely terrifying. 

Asmodeus

Asmo doesn’t really want to talk about the break up - he was quite hurt by the implication that being an avatar of lust will make him cheat on MC - and he tries to play it off as if it’s nothing serious. 

“There’s no need for a “serious conversation” darling. If you miss this perfect body you just need to say so - and I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” he smiles and winks at MC, even though his heart hurts.

Still, when MC insists, he agrees to hear them out. The memory of the break up conversation hurts, but when MC apologizes, somehow it feels slightly better. 

Asmo feels bad about getting back together though - he’d love to, but he went on such a binge when it came to one-night stands, that he was not sure if MC would want him anymore. So to see if MC was actually meant it when they apologized, he decides to come clean and talk about his escapades. 

He can tell MC is not quite enjoying the story, but in the end they tell him that they understand and accept that. Asmo’s heart leaps, though he tries not to show it - there are two things he craves the most emotionally - that is, being loved and being accepted. 

Asmodeus would love to take it slow, BUT HE JUST CANNOT. So he asks MC pretty much immediately if they’d like to get back together. 

Is very elated when MC accepts - and cuddles ensue. He does not want to let go of MC at all until at least the end of the day. 

A part of him is still slightly sad about the break up, so he finds it hard to completely let his guard down. 

Luckily, MC is much better at taking him slow, and the fact that they simply spend time with him and listen to him talk about whatever it is he likes to talk, his heart feels full. 

Their first kiss as a new couple feels super special. Asmo cannot remember the last time he cared this much about being kissed, but his heart is fluttering in his chest. 

Absolutely refuses to sleep if MC and him are not in the same bed. Though they do not become intimate right away, he still enjoys the soft cuddles while they sleep. 

Asmo is probably ready to “take it to the next level” once again much sooner than his other brothers. When they do, he is so overwhelmed with happiness that he never wants to let MC go again and even begins to wondering how he’d ever slept with someone else after feeling what it was like to sleep with MC.

Wants to show MC that he is committed and will stay loyal - decides to find out more about the ways human communicate that intent. Gets advice from Solomon, that getting married to MC will likely show them exactly that. Poor Asmo does not pick up on the fact that Solomon seems highly...amused when he gives his answer.

Goes ahead and proposes to MC, who, though very much in love with him, explains that marriage is not necessary for commitment for humans. 

Finds himself confused and happy as MC kisses him and then pulls him to the bed after the failed proposal. 

Beelzebub

This boy cannot hold a grudge to save his life, so when MC tells him that they want to talk about the break up and apologize, he can hardly hide just how happy he is. 

He wants to get back together, he really does, but a part of him is worried that they won’t want to. 

So it takes him a few days to work up the courage, but them he asks them, and when they gladly accept his heart feels so full. 

He is still a little bit worried though, since the reason for the break up was his eating and he certainly had not started eating any less. 

But his fears are quickly calmed when MC tells him that they don’t actually mind and did not mean when she said. To demonstrate him that, they try to make his favorite food for him, which Bell greatly appreciates. 

He is so happy to be back together with them - he missed them so so much. 

Cuddles galore, all day every day. Beel just wants to snuggle to MC, happy to be together with them once again. 

Unlike some of his brothers, he has less reservations about physical intimacy with MC. 

Still, before they kiss for the “first” time, Beel finds himself worrying, but the worry melts away when he can feel MC in his embrace, their lips warm and soft against his. 

He wants all the kisses. He almost forgot how much he liked being kissed by MC, but now that he had this other kiss, he knows he needs it. 

Is very gentle with MC when they are intimate for the first time after getting back together. When MC tells him that they are not, in fact, made of glass, Beel finds himself laughing happily because he remembers that that was exactly what MC told him the first time they slept together. 

After they get back together, Beel tries to spend as much time with MC as possible every day. 

Makes an effort to get involved into MC’s hobbies - like he knows that they cook for him because they know just how much he loves to eat, so he tries to do something for them that they like. 

Laughs happily when Belphie complains that he did not sign up for two roommates, but doesn’t change a thing - he wants to be with MC all the time. When MC suggests that they should maybe be spending time in MC’s room, Beel insists that he wants to spend time with both MC and Belphie.

Beel wakes up early in the morning and enjoys lying in bed watching MC sleep next to him - he does it even after they’ve been together for a while. It makes his heart so full to see MC next to him, so happy and comfortable 

Belphegor

At first he doesn’t want to hear it - any of it, he is still angry at MC for breaking up with him. However, the MC is insistent, and at a certain point Belphie just becomes too lazy to resist. It is much easier to just let them speak and be done with it when, suddenly, MC decides to apologize to him.

That he did not expect, not at all, so Belphie is taken aback. He cannot say that he is unhappy about receiving the apology, but he is somewhat apprehensive - after all, what MC said had hurt him, they cannot just take it back. 

Nonetheless, he really likes MC, so he accepts the apology. He does not quite trust them, not yet, but that does not mean that he doesn’t want to be around them. 

They spend some time together in the attic, and Belphie finds himself falling for MC again - it is so easy to spend time with them, it feels so natural. He does not want to admit to it though. 

One day he learns from Beel that MC wants to ask him about maybe getting back together. 

When MC asks him, he anticipates it and does not give the answer right away - a part of him wants to see MC squirm. 

Nonetheless in the end he agrees - he does want to be with them, after all. 

Once they are back together, Belphie finds himself rather happy - after all, he missed the morning, afternoon, evening and night cuddles that he received from MC.

Belphie does his best to make up for all the time that they were apart by cuddling MC all the time. 

The first few days after they get back togehter they barely leave the attic - to busy snuggling and napping. His brothers even make jokes about it, but Belphie just scoffs - him and MC have not actually been intimate since they had gotten back together yet, they simply have been enjoying some good, old-fashioned cuddles. 

Belphie feels his heart flutter when MC wakes him up one morning by showering his face with little kisses - just the way they used to wake him up before the break up happened. 

Belphie makes an effort to put more effort into a relationship. Though he likes nothing better than naps and cuddles, he knows that sometimes MC likes going places, so he makes sure to accompany them, even if he is feeling like napping, because he finds himself realizing that MC’s happiness is more important to him than all the naps in the world. 

[paradox-n-bedrock]

Director's Cut: Big Enough (To Hold your Love)

(Find the fic here.) 

Oh, the WIP that's my baby and I desperately want to continue because it's the first real fic I started writing? <3

I got you to specify chapter 2, so I'll mostly focus on that, but first, this fic is a lot of things (or will be a lot of things). It's Zelda's relationship to religion and Lilith's relationship to (the potential depersonalization of) being worshipped and Mary's relationship to magic, in a world where Zelda viscerally remembers what Lilith's story meant to her. It's Zelda (not) dealing with the feelings of loss and betrayal surrounding the faith she devoted her whole life to by burying them in building a new church, even though she doesn't quite have a handle on what that means. There's also a vein of sexuality throughout the bulk of the story. Zelda can't manage (okay, doesn't even try, yet) to draw a line between religious worship and sensuality, while simultaneously struggling through her trauma, and reluctantly empathizing with Mary's death-related feelings of disconnect from her own body and mind.

Okay, chapter 2. I really wanted to convey Lilith's absence and Zelda's longing for connection. She's throwing herself into research outside of what the Church of Night would have sanctioned, mostly mortal - Jewish - stories and those of hedgewitches and refugees, and finding Lilith to be more than she ever imagined. When I wrote that section back in November, I was thinking about Dezmelda and how many others like her there must be, when Satanic witch society, as depicted in the show, is such a breeding ground for abuse. The idea of Lilith sent to Earth to do Lucifer's bidding and still finding ways to help women and children in need is so, so compelling to me.

It's not that the reveal of who "Ms. Wardwell" was at the end of part two was any less shocking, it's that Zelda has willfully focused on the fact that it was Lilith (as a figure) who had been trapsing in and out of her home, and that's sort of painted a lens over her interactions with both Lilith and Mary.

This chapter is also the moment when Zelda starts to truly separate Lilith and Mary in her mind. She learns about the both of them and can no longer look at Mary and just see a link to her deity. She takes her hair down and still sees a mortal woman who's impossibly good natured and kind (and has a backbone of- maybe not steel, but she has one) and wants. And I think Zelda is much more comfortable with wanting than having. If she has something, it can turn out to be much different than expected, like her marriage, but most of all, it can be lost. And Mary is scared, too. She knows the feelings Zelda is prompting in her but she's been avoiding the matter for so long. And maybe there are other inklings of knowledge that she needs to examine, as well.

The chat where Mary shares her experiences with the folks of Greendale is a bit clunky, in my mind, and I wish I could come up with a more oblique way of wording it, but your enthusiasm for the chapter (and your voice reading of it) has gone a long way towards making me like it.

Oh, poor Hilda. I really enjoyed writing the bit with her. She's at such a loss. There's so much going on with her sister that doesn't sit quite right, but she doesn't know how to get through to her.

Closing note: Though I didn't know it when I started writing, this story is so much about parallels. Between Zelda and Mary, Lilith and Zelda, Mary and Lilith, and I think that will only become more clear as it goes on.

Thank you so much!

[nikatyler]

Felt like doing some replies the ~ old fashioned ~ way. I should be packing, but I don’t wanna. One good thing about this semester is that I don’t have classes on Monday morning, which means I don’t have to go to Prague on Sunday. But I’ll be once again going home late on Friday -_- Oh well. Maybe I could skip the lecture every once in a while to go home on Thursday afternoon.

I’m scared. Not really of what I’ll have to learn because I know that even if it’s difficult, I’ll probably get it in my brain in the end. Somehow. I’m more scared that once again, I’ll be left alone. I haven’t really found a stable friend group. I mean, I talk to some people sometimes, but I wouldn’t call it a friendship. One friend that I thought I could rely on doesn’t even bother saying hello to me anymore. I don’t know what I did to him, he just stopped talking to me. But maybe it’s for the best. Even when we still talked, I couldn’t believe how judgemental he was, and I often wondered if he talks about me like that too when I can’t hear it. He probably did. Oh well, I’ll see what I can do. I hope I’ll run into someone who is kinda like my best friend from high school.

As for sims stuff, I know I still owe some things to some people and I feel bad about it. You’ll get it eventually. I’m actually looking forward to doing it too. Makeovers are fun. I’d also like to release some more sims, I have one more sim dump and then some old legacy characters I want to share, plus some BC contestants that didn’t make it. They like to get eliminated in the first rounds.

Also, thanks for the comments on my mental health update post. I’ll see how this turns out and if it doesn’t get any better (I’m kinda hoping that better weather brings better mood, it worked before), I’ll start looking for a therapist or something. No offense to my parents but talking to them about this didn’t help in a slightest. They just don’t get it. And I swear I’m not reverting back to the “I’m an edgy misunderstood teenager” phase. Even though “edgy misunderstood teenager” is an aesthetic I still live for. Whatever that means.

And thanks for the tips on the laptop post. I’ll keep them in mind and I’ll probably ask again when the time comes and I actually buy a new one.

Ahh...I guess that’s it? Replies under the cut. As per usual, they’ll probably be the shorter part of this post, but oh well.

abysims  replied to your photoset  “Let’s find Lilith Vatore some love! In my game, I’ve had Lilith in a...”

Honestly Cassandra and Lilith would be amazing (... In my Glimmerbrook Academy story Cass is actually gonna have a huge crush on Lilith so I'm voting for that, yas!)

Ooooh that sounds great! Also, I’ll have a post announcing the results of the post coming up later, either today or tomorrow, but...spoiler alert: Cassandra might have won ;)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simmer - Get to Know”

Lol this thing with Mermaids made me remember that when my friend and I were like 12 years old, a 6-year-old made her a "proposal" and we answered him that she'll marry him when he buys her a house by the sea in Prague

Omg sea in Prague sounds kinda cool, my faculty would be so close to the beach *-* Haha but at the same time it’s kinda terrifying, where would the sea come from? From the north? From the south? Would that mean my home doesn’t exist? Or, actually, considering my town was built on a big hill, would that mean I live on an island? And which part of Prague would be under the sea and which one would stay?

Sorry, I got distracted thinking of this AU where my country actually has access to the sea :D But we used to have it, back in like I think 12th or 13th century. We’re wayyyy smaller now.

amuhav replied to your post “Me, looking up some specs of my current laptop: you're...you're...”

If it's anything like me with my first 'gaming' laptop, the store clerk basically straight up lied to me about how good it was, and I was too young and naive to know better �� sims 3 almost burnt that thing to a crisp ������

Lmao I have a similar story with my first laptop, we were told that it has this super amazing graphic card...and it wasn’t amazing at all, as I later learned when my laptop broke.

amuhav replied to your photoset “Sims Moodboard Challenge I was tagged by @blurrypxls,...”

Oh no... don't make me want to go back to pinterest and do more of these �� They're ADDICTIVE

THEY ARE! I haven’t done much today, but I’ve spent a lot of time there all through this last week.

amuhav replied to your photo “I need to stop. This is more addictive than scrolling through memes....”

Pssst, not to enable or anything, but Picasa 3 has this nice feature where you can take a bunch of pics and it makes them into a nice collage. That's how I made mine, and then used them as my desktop backgrounds ��

I think I’ll use Photoshop, like I do for everything else, but thanks for giving me an idea for my new background! I used to have my sims or some other characters set as a background, but now that I take my laptop to school I feel a bit uncomfortable with that, so since October I’ve had this kinda boring background and I’ve been meaning to change it into something nicer, I just didn’t know what to put there. Now I do.

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “How dare you pretend you’re Father Winter?” Father Winter:...”

Holy crap, Sunset is a lot more buff than I ever realized. Those arms! ��

Yup. That’s because she has to get her Athletic skill higher for work. I think her muscle slider might be at max, actually!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Father Winter: “That’s it! You’re going on my Naughty List. Your...”

How could she not with with muscles like that?? Damn his Christmas magic!

Next time we should just call Caleb. I mean, he defeated Grim Reaper with no problem, surely Father Winter won’t be any more difficult for him!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Okay, cool. You won’t give us gifts but I have a special one...”

Lmaoooooo, get him, Sunset! ������

He deserves it

asplashofsims replied to your photo “~ daylight”

Cute picture! ♡ I hope you feel better soon and omgg winx club, it's my guilty pleasure for sure hahah all the childhood memories��

I love Winx Club so much. It’s a little ridiculous and the plot holes are terrible (and don’t let me talk about anything after season 4, those are not my Winx D:), but I can’t let it go.

blubrich replied to your post “I forgot how traumatizing Toy Story 3 was ��”

Especially the ending! ��

YES. I remember the whole cinema was crying.

Also, Toy Story always unpacks this weird guilt in me haha. Because as a child, naturally I was like “I would NEVER abandon my toys, I’ll keep them forever!”. And now...they’re in boxes...under my bed and in the basement...some of them I gave away or to my younger sister, who then also gave some away because she’s fifteen now. I still have my plushies and teddy bears in my bed though, it would be too empty without them :D

silverspringsimmer replied to your audio post “(via...”

I love Within Temptation and they got me into heavier music later, too!

I don’t even remember how I found them. I was just bored of the music I was listening to all the time back then, so I clicked through playlists and stuff on Spotify and somehow I landed on their page, I guess. And I immediately fell in love.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your audio post “(via...”

Oh this song was the first song of this bad which I heard! It was also 5-6 years ago.though I do not listen to them often these days.

I think the first song I heard was What Have You Done, which I liked and still like very much, but then I heard this one and went kinda crazy because it just sounded so epic and exactly what my poor slightly depressed fifteen years old soul needed. In one day, I completely switched from pop to metal and it took me a few years to appreciate my old favourite music again. (I know that I say all the time that I’m a Taylor Swift stan, but actually I only really started LOVING her music again last year.)

I’ve always thought that it’s kinda funny that in my Music class, for the first semester I prepared a project about Taylor Swift. In the second semester, that changed, the old pop loving Ronnie was dead, and my new project was about Within Temptation :D But I remember that I was actually upset that day, I chose to show my classmates the video of What About Us and they didn’t appreciate it. And then after me, my other classmate had a project about some singer who had this weird song about getting high. They wanted to replay it. I was so bitter, in my head I was like “this song that I showed you has an interesting meaningful message and you’d rather listen to a song about drugs, how dare you?! You’re absolutely terrible!”

Yeah. I mean, I get it today, but I was so, so bitter.

amuhav replied to your audio post “(via...”

I recently found out they had a new album out (and Nightwish had a new single out too ��) and early 2000s emo teenage me immediately surfaced and threw money at my screen!

Ahhhh I’ve basically had Noise on repeat since it came out, I love it so much! And the video is cool too. I can’t wait to hear the whole album. Nightwish never disappoints, I hope I’ll one day get to see them live. I’ve had a few chances but then it never worked out.