circle k (back to you)
summary: in which you're just the graveyard shift employee at circle k bombarded by vigilantes.
━ chapter twelve: back to you | read chapter eleven
━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader
━ word count: 5k
━ warnings: none
━ masterlist
━ a/n: the final part <3 my end notes if you'd like <3
ten months later
“Hey, you two. Where’s your aunt?”
“Having an existential crisis on the trampoline,” you hear Irey respond matter-of-factly.
“She’s no fun anymore,” Jai adds.
“Well, Bart just got here so—woah!”
Even you can feel the sharp gust of wind the twins create as they zoom off to see their cousin. Bart Allen runs at a million miles per hour—metaphorically and literally, so he and the twins get on like a house on fire.
Good thing everyone turned out for you and Steph’s pre-graduation party, otherwise Wally, Jay, and Max would have their hands full trying to make sure the three of them didn’t bring the house down.
And when you say everyone came, you really mean everyone.
That’s sort of the problem.
Barry Allen and Iris West-Allen were pleasant as always when they arrived—fifteen minutes late, the tardiness Barry is prone to considerably mitigated by his wife’s urging—and gave you big hugs in congratulations when they saw you.
“Well, early congratulations,” Barry amends, smiling.
“I just wish we could be there, too,” Iris says, letting you go.
You wave her off. Barry had a mission with the JL on the day of and Iris’s book tour was just starting, so there was no extra time to spare.
“No, it’s okay. Wally and Linda are already going, so that’s enough.”
“We’ll be there in spirit,” Barry says, grinning as Iris rolls her eyes. “Literally.”
Referring to the speed force and the way it tethers both speedsters and lightning rods. So, yeah, technically.
You chuckle. “Exactly. So, don’t worry.”
“We still wanted to give you our gift in person, though,” Iris says, passing you an envelope.
“You guys really didn’t have to but thank you.”
“‘Course we did,” Barry says. “You’re Wally’s… what is it? Close friend slash little sister slash niece? Us, well, we don’t mind seeing you as a niece.”
“Complicated labels aside,” Iris puts in, “you’re part of this family, too.”
And boy if that wasn’t going to choke you up.
You believe it now, almost a year since Wally revealed his identity; since then, you consider Keystone City and Central City as much of a home as Gotham. It was only inevitable that you met the others and you were lucky enough that they welcomed you with welcome arms.
But the ones part of this family are one and many. Not just the Garricks, not just the Wests, not just the Allens, not just Max Mercury, but—
“Ms. Chambers?”
Jesse Chambers grins at you. “Hey now, none of that. Here, Jesse works just fine. Pleasure to meet you. Everyone has had nothing but excellent things to say about you.”
Okay. Sure.
That bit is just a little obscured by your horrible confusion on how on earth she even knew everyone.
You have an inkling as to the answer but frankly, it feels impossible to believe. Not because you don’t think she is not capable of it but the fact that the whole billionaire-as-a-superhero/vigilante thing isn’t so uncommon as initially thought.
The confusion must be written all over your face. She laughs. Jay is at your side in the next instant, smiling at her in greeting.
“Sorry not to have told you sooner,” he tells you apologetically, though the smile pulling at his lips tells you he isn’t that sorry. “But we wanted to leave the decision up to her. And—”
“If you can keep these guys’ secret,” Jesse says, jerking a thumb to the kitchen, where Wally, Linda, Barry, and Iris are, “you can keep mine, too. Besides, you did great work during your internship. QE has had our eyes on you for a while.”
“Oh, you really don’t have to—”
“We want to,” she says. “We wouldn’t lose anything at all offering you a place with PR. But if you want to go somewhere else, that’s okay. I’d be happy to be a reference if so.”
Somehow, you managed to stammer out a thank you and get out of that situation without making a complete fool of yourself. Wally later told you Jesse taps into the speed force using an equation, which… sure, why not.
Jesse used to not like him, apparently, but recent events have allowed her to warm up to him; plus, the birth of her own son, Johnny Tyler, helped, too, that way Wade could have a friend to grow up with.
While all the others prepare dinner and attempt to keep Bart, Jai, and Irey’s shenanigans contained, you manage to snag a bit of time to yourself, not quite believing you’d just been offered a job by Jesse Chambers herself.
It’s all just… a little bit insane.
Then the twins came out and you indulged them on the trampoline in the backyard of the West house for a bit. Then you thought too hard about everything and sunk right back into your disbelief again.
Which leads to now.
“Speedsters, I swear,” Tim mutters.
You hear the soft sound of footsteps on the grass but make no move to leave from your place — star-fished on the trampoline, eyes closed. Early May in Keystone City is considerably warmer and tepid than Gotham City. You should shed your hoodie but you don’t want to. Mostly because it isn’t yours, exactly.
It’s Tim’s. The one you wore the night you got stabbed last year. Not the same one; that one was ruined beyond repair and anyway, you weren’t too happy to wear that exact one, either, since you nearly bled out in it. But it’s close enough. The same shade of brilliant azure. Big on Tim and baggy on you.
Of course, why should you want a hoodie when your boyfriend is right here?
The faint noise of the flaps of the netting be brushed aside. Then the trampoline itself moves, dipping with his weight as he comes over to you. You slide a bit, elbow bumping into his knee.
“So,” he starts, closer than before, one hand brushing your cheek as he tucks a few pieces of your hair behind your ear. “What’s this about an existential crisis? In the middle of the day?”
“It’s four in the afternoon.”
“Schematics.”
You grunt but don’t respond.
A soft chuckle. “Is this about Jesse Chambers’ offer? It’s too bad, you know.”
“What’s too bad.”
“Well, Wayne Enterprises was looking forward to offering you a position, too. And so were the Titans. And I can’t speak for this one personally but I’m fairly certain the Justice League was planning on sending an offer, too. You’re in high demand.”
You groan. “Isn’t that too much? I’m—I haven’t even graduated. There are so many other people with so much more experience—”
“Well, how are you supposed to get experience, too?” he asks, laughing softly. “Besides, you’re graduating with honors.”
“Oh, yeah, well, I’m sure it helps to have a boyfriend with an in at WE, who also just so happens to be a member of the Titans, on top of multiple people who are close to me that are also part of the Justice League.”
“And Jesse Chambers? Hers is the most reliable in that sense, then, isn’t it? Because she doesn’t personally know you—”
“But she knows Wally.”
“But their relationship isn’t that great. Sure, she’s good with Jay and Max but… You also have the advantage of having worked there briefly. They wouldn’t call you back if they didn’t like what they saw.”
Which is true. Jesse Chambers is a businesswoman. She wouldn’t do this as some pity play.
Then again, neither would the others.
You finally open your eyes, squinting immediately as the sun beams down at you.
Tim shifts, moving until his head can shield you from it, bringing him into your focus.
He’s smiling warmly at you, affection clear in his gaze; the sunlight does wonders for him, for his dark hair and blue eyes.
“This can’t be happening.”
“It is,” he says. “You’re graduating next week Friday. You and Steph. And no matter where you go and what you do, you’re gonna kick ass, you know that, right?”
You groan. “You’re supposed to say things like that.”
“Maybe,” he concedes. “But when I tell you I had nothing to do with the offer from WE, you have to believe me. You know I haven’t worked with them in a long while. That was all them.”
“Bruce?”
“Maybe Bruce.”
But then that’s ‘cause he feels… guilty about cornering you last year. Which serves him right. Your relationship with Tim’s adoptive father is a bit rocky, truth be told. Just because of the things Tim has told you. The things Steph has told you. And last year is certainly a factor. But all the others, you get along with them.
You don’t see Dick too often because he lives in New York but he’s kind. Jason’s cool when you see him. Cass and Duke are great. You hang out with them regularly on your own. Damian is a bit frigid but that’s just because of your choice in company and not anything personal, exactly, but you do get the advantage of also having Steph on your side, since they have a better relationship than he and Tim do. Alfred is pleasant as always, too; sometimes he sends grocery deliveries to you to make sure you’re sustaining on actual food and not just ramen.
Barbara Gordon is also very nice and volunteered to help you put together your resume and cover letters and applications; Jean-Paul Valley is kind, too. They’re both old family friends, you would learn. You have lunch with Helena Bertinelli once a month; you two bond over a mutual dislike for Batman and a mutual fondness for Tim—begrudging on her part sometimes but she undeniably sees him as a little brother and he sees her a big sister. And truthfully, your relationship with her is a bit similar.
You’ve made quite a few relationships with these vigilantes. Connections. So, you shouldn’t be surprised that all of this is happening. But one part of you, the prideful part, doesn’t like it. The other part, the rational one, says it was unavoidable. You were going to apply to QE and WE, anyway. Maybe toss out a few applications to the League and the Titans, too, just for the heck of it. Not expecting anything to come of it. Out of any of it.
But of course something would. You know too many of these people for nothing to happen.
“But then again,” Tim says a moment later. “Bruce is just attached to the company by name.”
“That is not a ‘just’ thing, Tim, that is a very big thing. They’d do whatever he wanted.”
“Not anything. Not if you didn’t have the grades, background, or potential to back it up.”
Also, technically, true.
“But like I said. Jesse’s is the most earnest in that regard.”
“Do you want me to leave Gotham, is that it.”
He laughs. The sound warms you.
“I don’t,” he chuckles. “I really don’t. I’d love for you to go with WE. But I also know that the news of us dating throws a wrench in that.”
Right. Ever since the gossip columns caught you two kissing on a date a couple months ago, they wouldn’t shut up about it. Only after digging their grubby little fingers into every inch of your past, of course, and using that to fuel the flames. Talking about your relationship with him as if you planned it, just trying to get a leg-up in the application process at WE.
But the thing is, objectively speaking, there isn’t anything wrong with that. You aren’t with Tim strictly for that purpose but you knew it would factor in. It’s undeniable, the way all these other offers are undeniable in who and why they came. You can’t help who you’re connected to.
But yeah. It would suck to prove all the tabloids right by accepting a job with WE right after graduation—like all of them said you would.
Of course, they would talk regardless. Even if you went with QE or the Titans or the Justice League. Wayne Enterprises is a known partner with Quickstart Enterprises, as well as a heavy funder for the League and the Titans. So…
You groan, wiggling closer to him by planting your head on his thigh and staring forlornly up at him. “What should I do?”
He smiles. “Whatever you want to, honey.”
“Yeah, that’s not really helpful, Timmy.”
He rolls his eyes fondly, bending down to scoop you into his arms. You let out a squeak as he pulls you into his lap, then you settle comfortably in the circle of his arms, dropping your head on his shoulder.
From here, you can spy the old bullet graze on the side of his neck, silvery and a little textured. Without a second thought, you lean forward to kiss it.
He shivers slightly, arms tightening around you.
You bite down a smile. “Cold?”
“Shut up,” he mutters, fingers digging into your side, making you giggle and try to squirm away from him.
He doesn’t keep up the torment, exhaling a soft laugh, too, as you lay your head back on his shoulder.
A cool breeze sweeps through the backyard. In the suburbs of Keystone City, it is quiet out here. Peaceful. Though you can still hear the others inside. Wally saying something. Steph laughing at it.
You’ve carved out a nice place for yourself here. The West’s and Garrick’s here in Keystone and the Allen’s over in Central.
You close your eyes, basking in Tim’s embrace and his proximity. You haven’t seen him much this month, with you and Steph in the throes of finals. But he promised to come, that he’d ask Bart to take him and his friend happily agreed.
You were surprised to learn of their relationship. That they had known each other. But they had met when they were younger, along with the rest of the original members of Young Justice. Put together because they were superhero kids. The relationship stuck. What a coincidence, that Bart Allen was part of the family you had quickly grown close to. But not unwelcome.
It is a small world, you would think.
Or maybe, when you feel indulgent, meant to be. You and Wally. You and Steph, you and Tim. All of this. Interconnected in ways you could only dream of. You don’t have to sacrifice much to have them together.
Tim squeezes your hip, one hand slipped underneath the hoodie. “What are you thinking about?”
That maybe this decision isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. That it’s not a matter of deliberation, is it?
You know you don’t want to prove all the tabloids right by going with WE immediately. Not to mention, for the longest time, it was a dream to work with them. You want more time, more experience, before you move there.
And you don’t think you are ready to jump head-first into working for the Justice League or the Titans. You need experience for that, too.
So…
“I’m pretty sure I could convince Wally to take me to Gotham to visit. When I start at Quickstart.”
“Not necessary,” he says and you raise an eyebrow, watching him pull back, his gaze warm, not at all surprised by your words. “I could just come and visit you. Unlimited access to the jet and all.”
“Racking up carbon emissions just for me?”
“You know the jet is clean energy,” he says, pouting a bit.
Yes, you do. He talked your ear off about it when they made the switch. But you just like seeing him get pouty about it.
You cup his cheeks, smiling, particularly taken with the way his whole face softens as he looks at you. The knowledge that he’s this soft for you is always so insane to you. Not at all good for your heart.
“I know. It’s still a bit of an expense, though, isn’t it?”
“It’s worth it.”
“Cornball.”
“I’m being serious,” he presses, hands tightening around your waist. “Whatever I have to do, it’s worth it for you.”
You know that. Tim is a devoted boyfriend. He doesn’t do things in halves. When he’s loyal to someone, when he dedicates himself, he does it wholly. You could ask him of anything and he would do whatever it took to get it for you, to do it for you. If you asked him to move with you, you know he would do it.
You also know the thought must’ve crossed his own mind. But he still won’t say anything, not unless he knows you want it, too, and… you do. You think that can wait, though, for a little while longer. Let you get settled in and then you two can discuss that possibility—if he wants to, of course, because while Wally and Linda do like him now, the former would not like having a Bat running underfoot in the city, in either of the cities.
You just aren’t used to that kind of devotion. Even after this long.
You slide your arms around his neck, threading your fingers in his hair. He leans into the touch. “I know.”
“I’ll take Steph when I can, too,” he adds and you smile again.
“I love you.”
He leans forward, forehead brushing yours. Your eyes flutter shut.
He nudges your nose with his, then finally closes the distance between you two.
Cotton-candy sweet warmth unspools in your chest he kisses you, soft and gentle. But it quickly edges into dangerous territory when you nip at his bottom lip and he yanks you closer and closer until there is no space between your bodies. It would be better if you weren’t wearing this hoodie but you make do with what you have, still able to feel most of his chest pressed to yours, hard and sturdy, heat licking up your spine.
Your fingers twine in his hair and he lets out a shuddery breath, the kiss turning open-mouthed in the next second and you can taste the gum he was chewing on earlier.
It’s a shade too hungry for your current location but you can’t help it, he’s just so… beguiling. You’re overwhelmingly attracted to your boyfriend and you think you always will be.
But of course, you still should know better, even with all that.
A sharp gust of wind hits you two in the next second and you both separate immediately, knowing exactly what—or who—it is. But instead of Wally or any other speedster here, a high-pitched giggle makes it to your ears and you both turn, eyebrows raising as you find one and a half year old Wade West now inside the trampoline, net fluttering behind him.
You and Tim turn to look at the back door, which is now open, Wally and Linda standing there; the former looks pleased, while the latter just raises her eyebrows.
“I thought,” he starts, mischief written on his face, “that instead of leaving space for Jesus, you could leave some space for Wade. So. Do that. And please stop desecrating the place my children play.”
“And come inside,” Linda adds. “Food’s almost ready.”
You slide off Tim’s lap, reaching for Wade before he tries to stand and walk over to you, not trusting his balance on the trampoline. Tiny hands grapple with the hoodie strings, tugging.
“Got it. Thanks.”
They both smile pleasantly and turn back inside.
You bite your lip, which already feels swollen from your kissing, and look at Tim. His face is flushed with red, lips swollen, too. A tempting sight.
He catches the look on your face. “Don’t.”
“It’s my graduation party.”
“It’s yours and Steph’s. Later.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Well, you love me, so what does that say about you?”
“That you’ve seduced me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Oh, I’ve seduced you, okay, sure—” he looks at Wade, shaking his head “—can you believe this?”
All Wade can do is giggle in response. All you can do is smile at him, so painfully in love.
He smiles back, rising up on his knees and leaning forward to kiss your forehead.
“I love you, too, you know.”
Yeah, you do know.
four years later
“Goddamit, where is it?”
Fish, a miniature Italian Greyhound you rescued from the shelter, offers no answer or help for your plight. Instead, she just sits near you, happy to follow you around as you search, watching you with big eyes. Big, empty eyes. Absolutely nothing goes on in her little head and you and Tim love her very much for it but damn if you wouldn’t appreciate a little help in finding the security badge that seems to have mysteriously disappeared.
It’s perfect timing, too. That badge is your lifeline. That’s what your supervisor, Meena, said anyway, a couple days ago when you went in for it and had a chance to speak with her before starting work. You can’t get into the tower without it. You can’t do anything without it and guest badges do not have the same amount of clearance that you have.
You stop in the living room, taking a breath, frustration starting to make you hot, which would be the icing on the cake, if you managed to sweat through your clothes before you even started work.
Sighing, you look at her. “Do you know where it is?”
A sound behind you.
“You should know better than that, honey,” comes the sleepy voice of your boyfriend, and you turn. “Fish is lucky to have a single coherent thought once a week and she wasted that one yesterday when she managed to give Damian the high five he asked for.”
You chuckle despite yourself, remembering the pleased gleam that had come into Damian’s hazel green eyes when Fish successfully completed the trick. Only after six months of painstaking work, of course, but it hardly deters him. Titus passed away not too long ago and he’s fixated on Fish because of it. Even if he says her name is ‘completely idiotic.’
Brushing away those thoughts, you focus on Tim, still sleepy-eyed and rumpled. Then you see it—in his hand is your security badge, your picture smiling up at you, with your name beneath it.
“Oh my god, where—”
“You gave it to me, remember?” he asks, laughing softly as you pad over to him. “And said to keep it with my gear, that way it wouldn’t get lost between then and now.”
True. All true. After all, that gear—that is, his suit and tech—doesn’t get brought out other than for the occasional mission with the Titans, so, say, every six months or so. Other than that, it remains hidden in a panel behind your side in the walk-in closet, accessible only by him and you through fingerprint and retinal scans.
Easiest way not to get lost, especially since you’ve been particularly harried in the lead-up to the official start of your job at Wayne Enterprises as their spokesperson.
“Sorry,” you sigh. “Is that why you’re up? Because I told you, you don’t need to wake up for this, you can stay in bed…”
He raises an eyebrow. “And let you freak out for the next hour and a half before you have to leave?”
“Um. Yes?”
A soft smile. He reaches for you, hands settling on your arms, rubbing small circles there.
“Well, you’re wrong. It’s your first day at WE.”
“I know, but you didn’t have to get up now at least…”
The original idea when you decided to wake up at five-fifteen is that one, it would give you ample time to get ready—both yourself and your belongings—and two, it would let you try to relax.
Key word being try.
It’s now six, you’re supposed to leave in an hour and fifteen minutes to beat the morning rush traffic, and your nerves are none the better for it.
Your sleep was fitful, too, in anticipation of today, so you’re starting to feel sleepiness creep in at the edges; the fact that the sun has not yet risen and won’t rise for a while—cursed winter months and their late sunrises—does not help.
He eyes you. “I think I do.”
You groan, dropping your forehead on his shoulder. “I can’t do this.”
He squeezes your arms. “Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t. They’re going to eat me alive.”
If not for being the new girl, then certainly because your boyfriend was, actually, once major shareholder of the company when he was seventeen and no, it doesn’t matter that he was just a figurehead and Lucius was actually pulling the strings—it still happened and Tim worked closely with the company for several years after. And then, of course, it will also be because your boyfriend is the adoptive son of the man who owns the actual company.
Even if you waited before joining, even if you actually applied for the position! Yes, applied! Contrary to what a few tabloids are saying right now, you did not go up to Tim (or Bruce, depending on which gossip column you’re reading) and demand the job. You went through the same channels as absolutely anyone else would.
Tim ducks his head to press a kiss to your neck. You can’t help your shiver and you know he feels it by the way he smiles against your skin. “No, they won’t. That’s my job. They can’t take that away from me.”
“Now is so not the time—”
He laughs, pulling away; you do the same to look at him.
“You’re going to be fine, gorgeous. You had Linda and Iris regularly pressing you these last few weeks and you did very well with them. Not to mention your last two jobs…”
You purse your lips.
“Two years with Quickstart Enterprises,” he lists. “Two more with the Justice League. Still bitter you picked them over the Titans, by the way.”
“They were more hardcore. Sorry.”
“Well, see? You and the rest of the team had to salvage the League’s image after each alien invasion or otherwise massive destruction committed during a mission and you guys did it. I mean, the publicity campaign you came up with was brilliant, you know that, right? Support was the highest it’s ever been while you were there.”
Right… In an effort to better the League’s image with the public after a particularly nasty fight that left multiple city blocks destroyed and more questions about the relevancy of the team, you decided the more prominent League members needed to create more solid images for themselves, that way each time the public or news saw them, it wasn’t always about the latest incident that brought their presence in. To do this, they needed to pick something to sponsor or support and start showing for it. Superman took an interest in accessibility to education, Wonder Woman focused on preserving wildlife and ecosystems, along with world landmarks, and Batman—with immense detail and planning to abide by his stiff rule not to be seen before the masses—focused on rehabilitation programs.
It brought in a lot of good coverage as more Leaguers agreed to do it and it did help. Helped a lot. Not to say those in the League were not helping, of course, either suited up in their own cities or with their public personas, but that was the issue. The League was capable of much more destruction collectively than individually and the public didn’t know that Batman was funding hundreds of programs to help impoverished communities in Gotham, mostly because he did that as Bruce Wayne and that connection would never be made known.
But that was the job. And you did it. Excellently. You would’ve stayed on for a little while longer but then you got kidnapped towards the end and that just wasn’t fun.
(Fortunately, however, there was a clause in your signing contract that states that in the event of a kidnapping, the League is obligated to rescue you.
Fair is fair, you think, for helping maintain their image and ensure that the UN doesn’t pull the plug and that the public doesn’t completely despise them.)
And of course, if you managed to survive working with the League and being kidnapped because of that work, then you should be entirely prepared to take on Wayne Enterprises. It should be chump change, if anything, but again, you go in with preconceived notions about yourself and your reputation. Not so great.
But would you back out?
No way.
“I believe in you,” he murmurs, his gaze warm and reassuring. “All of us do. You know Steph does.”
A pause, everything falling silent, save for the snores coming from the guest bedroom, where Steph is asleep.
“I’m not missing your first day at WE,” she had said the night before. “So, you better wake me up before you leave.”
He grins a bit teasingly at a particularly loud snore. “Like a train, right?”
“Like you’re any better.”
“I am not that loud.”
“What is it with me and attracting people who snore?”
Honestly.
“Speaking of, you know Wally and Linda believe in you. You can do this. It’s just ‘cause it’s the first day. Get through it and everything will be better.”
Which is true. You know that. Have been repeating that in your head as today approached and your nerves grew in intensity.
But everything is easier in theory than in practice.
“I know,” you whisper, closing your eyes. “I know.”
You can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks next. “That’s why I’m here. Why we’re all here.”
“To knock some sense into me?”
“To do that gently,” he chuckles.
“I don’t know. I might need the force.”
“Well, I can call Damian if you want.”
“I don’t need that much force… on a scale, maybe something like Linda.”
“It’s good thing she and Wally are going to be here soon for breakfast, then.”
For the same reason Steph spent the night and Tim dragged himself out of bed—for your first day of work.
For you.
You pull him into a hug, overwhelmed at the thought and not at all caring about wrinkling your clothes. You can fix that. But this… this needs to be made known.
“I love you.”
He squeezes you—gently, trying to mitigate any wrinkles, and the thought makes your heart swell with unbridled love—and kisses your temple.
“I love you. We all do.”
And isn’t that something?
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Space ~ B.A.
A/n: LOVE touching on the way Iris and Barry create their relationship by high key sabotaging every other possibility bc they feel inevitable... great shit.
Request: “Barry x male reader, reader and Barry been having issues so reader goes to stay with Kara for awhile.” By anon
Word Count: 2,000+
MASTERLIST
"So... are we going to talk about that?"
Y/n's jaw worked as he mulled over Kara's question. He couldn't expect her not to ask questions after all of that. She was a good friend, she worried. And Y/n didn't want to spend this entire trip running from his feelings. It would only make things worse.
On the other hand he really didn't want to talk about it.
But that may have been him trying to run from his feelings. Like usual. How well did that ever go?
He looked at her, taking in her barely contained curiosity and anxiety. The last time she had run into Barry and his boyfriend the two were newly in love after ages of pining and beating around the bush. They were full of relief at being able to hold hands and use pet names, and got borderline ridiculous if they ever kissed. Kara had joked they were the goal; the base line. Someone would look at her that way someday.
Now the two men were cold and distant, and when they'd gotten Kara the help she needed and Barry went to go back to his own world Y/n had asked to stay? In an entirely different universe where Barry Allen didn't even know who Y/n L/n was. Had never even heard of him. They were complete strangers in this world.
Sighing, Y/n leaned against the desk behind him and Kara tried not to grin as she realized he was about to talk about his feelings. Y/n never did such things no matter how many times she prodded and begged - but this was not a situation that called for smiling or teasing. She listened instead as Y/n began, "Barry and I have been having problems."
Kara raised an eyebrow. She was hesitant to push such a delicate string of luck but it seemed Y/n was about to stop and he really hadn't said much yet. "Problems?"
Once he started he couldn't stop. "First it was the newspaper with Iris' byline. I mean, he's been in love with her for near his entire life and everything was screaming that she would choose him back eventually. Eddie died, Patty and Linda didn't work out for several reasons - mostly because he couldn't open up to them. But that's not-" He closed his eyes, realizing he was going off on a tangent. "The point is," he began again slowly. "Barry and Iris are like, soulmates? Or something? And it started with the newspaper but then there was Earth 2, and the fact that they always know each other everywhere we go - even if vaguely. Like they're drawn to each other. Inevitable. There are worlds where I don't know Barry Allen and he doesn't know me, but they always have each other."
Slowly, Kara asked, "You're jealous of Iris?"
Y/n scoffed. "I'm not just mindlessly jealous. It wouldn't bother me so much if the name on the by line of the newspaper had changed. If it said Iris West instead, or Iris soemthing-else. But it doesn't. It still Iris West-Allen. And I feel like... a filler." His shoulders sagged and his face twisted with agony. "It doesn't help that he started to drop our plans to hang out with her. And I realized that actually he always prioritizes her. Our plans never overlap, like he's desperate not to have to choose, and then they do and he chooses her. And it's fine, she's family, but I thought I was too. I thought we'd at least be equally as important. And then Savitar comes and he goes after Iris - still. Iris and Barry weren't together, but his life falls apart if she dies. Like-" He blinked tears out of his eyes. "Like she's his whole world. Cisco can't save him, or Caitlyn."
"Or you," Kara realized, her face crumbling as it fully settled in.
The man shrugged. "Or me. And I tried bringing it up to him but he refuses to acknowledge it and scrambles to avoid the topic and I feel like he knows he's in love with her but doesn't want to admit it. I feel like I really am filler and he knows it, that his very atoms are waiting for her and it's just this unspoken inevitability. I'm only here for now and that's it and I'm not supposed to address it, I'm not supposed to see it, but I do and that really sets him on edge. Or- something does at least. I don't know! He won't talk to me!"
Immediately Kara pulled Y/n into a hug. Y/n let her, curling into her comforting warmth and knowing he could fully collapse and she would be fine. "Would it help if I helped you work through what other options there are? Discussions are hard to have if you have one out come stuck in your head, and then often turn into arguments that accomplish nothing."
Chuckling, Y/n wiped his face. "You're so smart Kara." And he meant it so genuinely she couldn't even joke that he was full of it. He seemed relieved to be able to talk about it, talk through it. She believed that truly was the case. "Please," he sighed. "Please tell me there are other options than what I think there are."
Kara hummed, tightening the hug for a split second before leaning away so they could meet eye to eye as they spoke. This was a conversation where he needed to know she was being absolutely truthful and genuine. "Well, first of all he could have the exact same fears as you. He could truly and deeply be in love with you and be scared that it'll all be for nothing. Fate and knowing your future - it';s a terrifying thought. Especially when no matter what you do, it never changes."
Y/n nodded. That was a perfectly logical option. "Anything else?"
She was ready for the question. "His life has been really difficult. He's constantly losing people, and being a superhero is extremely hard on a person. It's demanding and draining and leaves no room for even a single mistake. You're gambling with the life of every single person. Their happiness and stability. It's not a reason to treat anyone badly but I could understand if his work life and super hero life being so complicated and dangerous doesn't leave a deep desire for a normal, more straight forward life. Maybe he got it in his head that things with you were supposed to be easy and now... they're not. And he's too burnt out or anxious to address it."
Oh. Very quickly Y/n was calming down. Hearing all the other alternatives were very grounding and loosened the pit of doom in his stomach. "Anything else?"
Nodding, Kara continued. "He may not be taking your emotions seriously and either isn't realizing how your emotions are affecting you, or thinks they're some kind of accusation. He may even not understand that when you bring this up its concerning how you feel about it and not necessarily about him or anything he's doing at all. It's a pile up of things that all point your brain in one direction, and the way that makes you feel may be irrational or very rational, but either way he isn't the person who chooses Iris. And he may be one day, or he may not, but if he thinks you're accusing him of some sort of cheating when he couldn't imagine ever doing something to you?" She shrugged. "Like getting mad at someone for doing something in a dream. And it still means something to you but he isn't clocking that - all he can see is you blaming him for something he didn't do."
Y/n actually had the audacity to smile. "We would argue over me feeling insecure and it making him feel like I hate him. Or doubt him." He rolled his eyes but there was a little fondness there and Kara felt hope surge through her. Not all was lost yet. "We would end up arguing like we are over both of us just being insecure and not communicating it int he way we need to." He sighed, long and laboriously.
Kara just decided to skip to another option. "Or he's being an asshole and he does know it upsets you but he just doesn't want to acknowledge it or take it seriously."
They looked at each other for a second before slipping into soft, breathy laughter. It was weak and quiet but Kara wrote it down as a win. The idea that Barry would be so harsh and cruel truly was laughable. Maybe another Barry, another universe, but not this one.
After a second Y/n deflated again. Not as broken down but definitely exhausted. "What do I do if he won't talk to me? I can't just not know."
"Tell him that." When Y/n seemed doubtful, kara shook her head. "I'm serious. Say it even before you start the conversation. No warning, no chance to shoot you down or change the subject. Lay down the law. If you need this, you need this. It doesn't matter what he's feeling about the situation - you need to talk about this. This is a need for you; a deal breaker. If you break up you break up. He doesn't deserve you if he can't get over himself for an hour to talk to you and give you something you actively need."
Y/n melted in relief, eyes wet. "You're an amazing friend Kara."
The compliment, bursting with appreciation that could not be put into words, made Kara grin. "You deserve a good friend. Come on - we can take a few days before you have to go back."
So they did. A little less a month passed before Y/n went back. neither of them had meant for it to go on quite so long but Y/n's powers that were so often utilized by Barry were perfect for the threat Kara was facing and beating the bad guy was the last step. They had to go through so much before they could do that. It kept them.
When he did go home, there was something different about him. He got to see more and experience more. He realized how much pressure he was putting on Barry and codependent he'd become. he seemed finally completely at peace with whatever happened - whether or not they broke up, he knew he'd make it through - but was also ready and willing to fight for it.
If only Barry would fight too.
In the end Kara had been right. Her very first guess had hit the nail on the head, and it had all come undone the second Y/n set a hard boundary. He needed this and Barry delivered. Their relationship was important enough to the speedster to put aside fear or pride and face it. They had a long talk about the whole situation and how out of control they both felt. How that scared Barry even more because he didn't want such a future. Because he wasn't allowed to be out of control like he was now or people died. Y/n clarified his feelings not being a reflection on Barry as a person and the kind of person or partner he was, and that seemed to help too. They decided at the end of it all that no matter what happened they loved each other and nothing could get in the way of that. That even if Iris and Barry did end up together, it wouldn't be the Barry that was now.
That Barry was Y/n's.
For the first time neither of them felt the need to check to see if Iris' surname had changed on the byline. It was Cisco instead who came crashing into the room, eyes wide with worry. He pulled up the article and pointed out the byline.
Iris West.
No Allen attached.
The article was the same, with a missing Barry, but the byline was different.
Barry and Y/n looked at each other, eyes opened for the first time. It was almost a slap in the face to realize that Iris and Barry ended up together in this world only if they thought they did. That the anxiety of the felt inevitable could destroy all of their relationships, and that the second they decided it didn't - it didn't.It was beautiful in a way. And suddenly they both felt that they could do so much more...
And they did. Together.
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Male Readers: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz @fadedver
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