#listen there's a billion bad things i could also say about tumblr and the many questionable decisions of its staff

[decamarks]

I know people have stated many times before that Tumblr's presence as a social media site is distinct from others due to its sense of community—and this brand identity is definitely being encouraged by the site's staff/marketing team—but it genuinely does make me happy, and it makes the site itself feel worthwhile and worth caring about. I'm always intrigued by the little changes being made, regardless of if they're good or bad; it's not like other sites where every update is nigh incomprehensible to its users, and generally followed with nothing more than a sigh and a "Oh god what is it this time". I'm genuinely interested in the mechanics of all these new updates: what they serve to improve, the purpose behind their implementation, etc. That or I'm saying "Oh god what is it this time" with a bewildered, morbid sort of glee, which is equally good.

This interest is encouraged by staff blogs like changes and wip, and that's just a fun kind of relationship to have to a website. Rather than silently accepting whatever new nonsense a corporation has decided to do to their site (presumably in the interest of exploiting their users in terms of time & money), Tumblr's sense of community tends to encourage exploration of what exactly it is being changed—critically, analytically; it doesn't go unnoticed. And 'critical' and 'analytical' are two adjectives you don't find most other social media platforms encouraging in their user populace, LMAO.

It helps to see the silver linings in these types of things. The frequency at which features are added, removed, altered, broken or bugged, speaks to the humanity of the site's coders and staff—and, more likely, the occasional complete incompetency of their higher-ups, but let's not get into that LOL. Aside from a few particularly awful or unintuitive elements, these uncertainties and imperfections tend to be enjoyable and even valuable, in my eyes. They're quirks, but not in the sense of a 'quirky' fast food brand with a 'silly social media guy'—who is, in reality, the result of highly calculated marketing efforts. What differentiates Tumblr in this case is that these imperfections aren't really artificial. They're simply being embraced. And that's… kinda nice?

In a site that serves to foster expression through the digital medium in so many different ways, there are bound to be certain boundaries broken, for better or worse. Think of all the strange, inexplicable glitches Tumblr has experienced through the years. The relative lack of limitations—on file size, on media type, on character counts—naturally leads to all sorts of strangeness. A few months ago I made a post that displays as an image when viewed on a blog page, thanks to some HTML style elements I was strangely able to include. I don't know why that's possible, but it is! Even excluding silly exploits like that, users are free to play around with comically long, obtrusive posts whenever they please. The fact that "Do you love the color of the sky" is a site-wide staple speaks volumes about the kind of platform Tumblr is.

You're allowed to reblog a post 100 times in a row, and that post can be an obnoxiously long sequence of the sky. Rather than fight against pitifully low character counts, you're free to type up sprawling, rambling blocks of text, and it's up to you whether or not that goes under a read more. Your images aren't cropped or downsized, or crammed into neat, tiny aspect ratios. In terms of a clean, intuitive user experience, this is... objectively awful. And that's what makes it great. You're allowed to be obtrusive. In the near infinite space allowed, you're free to exist in any format you see fit.

It's easy to be cynical about this stuff; trust me, I'm well aware that this sense of 'humanity' is propagated primarily to create a likeable brand identity, also in the interest of generating profit from its users—but come on, that's just kind of a given, and severs aren't free. I don't think it's bad to embrace the community formed as a result of this, and I'd argue that having an interest in the site surrounding the community you enjoy is just genuinely good. I still highly encourage everyone to learn how to make their own websites (due to the plentiful easy to use resources and platforms available), but I recognize that this isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. There are many benefits a large social media platform has over an independent website, and you'd be ignorant to ignore them. And when so many websites are being sanitized, sterilized, and swallowed whole by an all-consuming interest in profit alone, it's nice to see Tumblr try to cultivate chaos instead. Basically, it's a cool social media website with a cool community, relative to the other options out there. And that's pretty cool!

Anyway all of this is to say that I still think the new 30 image limit is awesome. SERIOUSLY WHAT OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE WOULD LET YOU DO THAT

[ms-demeanor]

Hi, can I get some clarification? At one point does lusting for a person/feeling lust for someone become objectification?

Objectification is treating a person like an object, like a *thing* instead of a person.

(for the purposes of this post I am primarily going to be talking about sexual objectification though parents treating their children like objects is DEFINITELY a thing)

I would argue that objectification happens when you disregard a person’s autonomy (not that you overrule or deny he fact that they HAVE autonomy, but like it doesn’t even occur to you that your choices should be considered because they’re not real enough to you in that moment for it to matter).

Having a crush on your friend or thinking that the cashier at a store is sexy isn’t objectifying them. Resenting your friend for not returning your crush or taking a photo of a sexy cashier to share on social media is objectifying them. Arguably just thinking about someone while masturbating is, to an extent, objectifying them. But imagining the sexy cashier taking you out on a nice picnic date and showering you with presents and buying you a pony is objectifying them too.

I’ve got a hot take here: Objectification isn’t inherently bad.

There’s a person at my gym who has some fucking THIGHS. Every time they’re at the gym they’re on the stair machine for a minimum of thirty minutes. I’m pretty sure they can’t wear jeans because I can’t *imagine* the kinds of jeans that would fit over this person’s quads. Every time I’m at my gym and this person is working out their thighs it’s a little bonus perk for my gym visit. In fact it’s kind of an incentive: if I go to the gym maybe I’m gonna get to see THIGHS and that’ll be cool.

This person is an object to me. At a conscious level I know that they are a real person with their own thoughts and desires and agenda and whatever but that’s not what they are to me. What they are to me is Damn! Thighs!

And that’s not a problem.

However if I *follow* them around the gym to look at their thighs, or if I stare obviously and move so that I’m working out behind them, or if I follow them out so I know what their car looks like so I can make sure to go into the gym if I see them in the lot THAT is a problem. And if they introduce themselves to me and I don’t remember their name or their interests and all I ever want to talk about is how hot their thighs are then THAT is a BIG problem. And if they were my coworker and I ignored their achievements and didn’t listen to their requests because their needs were less important to me than hot thighs and anyway if you spend so much time looking good you’re probably an idiot who doesn’t really work but just gets a paycheck because the boss likes looking at you and your work doesn’t matter THEN that is a VERY VERY BIG problem.

You are allowed to lust after and objectify people so long as it doesn’t impact the actual real world and that actual real person.

Chris Evans is an object to me. He’s pretty. I like looking at him. He doesn’t have any idea that I exist so me seeing him as just a pretty dude and ignoring everything else about him doesn’t matter. And I cannot tell you how much I DO NOT want to personally humanize Chris Evans as a celebrity and form a parasocial relationship with him where I know about his dog and his siblings and look at pictures of his family at the holidays. I’m much more comfortable experiencing Chris Evans as an object than as a person, thanks, and I’m pretty sure that for most celebrities that’s how they want most of the world to interact with them. But if I were to meet him and objectify him by presenting him with sexual fanart of him or if I were to have an interview with him about his political website and only asked him questions about his workout routine THEN it would be a problem for me to objectify him and I would be doing so in a way that was directly harmful to him.

Also. In terms of nonsexual objectification:

I keep hearing random liberals say that Biden needs to nominate a woman of color as his running mate.

I hear it over and over but I’m not hearing names, just “Joe Biden needs to nominate a Latina” “Joe Biden won’t win if he doesn’t run with a Woman of Color on the ticket.”

Over and over. But no names. No policy. Almost as if people are seeing this possible running mate like some kind of talisman or token or object or fetish (in the original “magical object’ sense, not the sexual sense) instead of a theoretical politician with experience and ideas of her own.

Hm. Gross.

And yes it is COMPLETELY possible to objectify men and we as a society do it A LOT and I kind of have the objectification of men as commodities in the popular music industry as a special interest that I’ve done a lot of reading and research and writing about.

Objectification is a thing that people do. It is arguably a *necessary* thing that we do in our society, where we’re aware of so many hundreds or thousands of people that we can’t actually individually treat them like humans (and we can’t even meaningfully conceive of MILLIONS or BILLIONS of people).

So let’s look at George of the Jungle (because that’s what we’ve been talking about today)

The ladies looking wistfully at George as he plays with the horses: these characters are objectifying the character of George but it is likely harmless because he doesn’t even seem to notice that they’re ogling him.

Ursula’s roommate/friend staring at George naked: this character is objectifying George and it *could* be harmful to his character because it will change their interactions and the way she views him and the dynamic between him.

The advertising for the film focusing on a shirtless character slammed into a tree: Not objectifying George.

Tumblr focusing on gifs of George/Brendan Fraser without his shirt: Objectifying the character/actor, harmless (though if you approached the actor on the street and said “Oh my god, I am so hot for your ass in that one scene where you’re wearing the bowl” that would be harmful)

People focusing on Brendan Fraser’s weight gain and lamenting that he’s no longer sexy: Objectifying the actor, potentially harmful to the actor (because people frequently tag the actors in criticism like this) and definitely bodyshaming in a way that can be harmful to the people who encounter the criticisms.

Fans expecting actors to maintain a particular level of fitness outside of a film: objectifying the actor, harmful.

Studios expecting actors to perform complicated stunts without adequate preparation or safety precautions: Objectifying the actor, harmful.

Studios and audiences expecting actors to be dangerously dehydrated so that they appear extremely muscular or extremely fit when filming; Objectifying the actor, harmful.

A film executive expecting an actor to perform sexual acts for them or to tolerate sexual touching because they’ve cast the actor for a part: Objectifying the actor, harmful. 

So it’s interesting that while the actor Brendan Fraser was likely objectified in the process of making this film (especially considering that, yeah, there was probably some unhealthy dieting and some dehydration to look as lean and muscular as he did in some scenes) the film as a whole does not objectify the character of George.

Anyway.

Shit’s complicated and there’s not a clear dividing line but it’s okay to think of people as objects sometimes because that’s honestly a thing that we have to do to get through the day without keeling over from overextended empathy but it’s not cool to *treat* people like objects and media that treats people like objects frequently models behavior that people normalize even if they don’t intentionally emulate it so it’s worthwhile to have discussions about the objectification of characters in media.

There we go.

Easy, right?

[cblgblog]

Yeah, Steve could have cleaned Sharon’s name after Thanos’s death, it doesn’t mean he didn’t try, but knowing she was stealing art, it may be that in addition to being seen as a traitor, she came to be seen as a thief, and who knows what else and it was impossible for Steve to do anything for her. People need to see what she has become, the government is likely to have clues to what she's been doing, and Steve couldn't do anything for her because of that.

Look, here’s the situation. She’s been gone for 5 years irl, they’re trying to address that stupid now, and there is, frankly, no way to do that that isn’t somewhat stupid itself, and that doesn’t make someone look bad. Frankly, the people I’ve seen complaining about Steve not snapping his fingers—pun intended—and fixing it all for her are the same people who blame him for Sarah Wilson’s financial struggles, and Scott choosing a relatively cushy house arrest gig where he could still see his daughter, or somehow forcing actual King T’challa to help fight Thanos in Infinity War.

The people complaining about it are mostly the same people who couldn’t care less about any of the characters they mention, except in the context of, oh, Stefe dum, here be another thing I can blame on Stefe. Most of the time they don’t even pretend to have bothered to do basic research on what they’re talking about, so their opinions are about as meaningless as always, but let’s try to get into this anyway.

As I said, Feige the All-God hasn’t bothered with her in 5 years. There is no way of explaining that canonically that isn’t somewhat stupid, depending what theory you take, but let’s be clear. Steve could not do a thing for her, as far as clearing her name between the end of Cap 3 and Infinity War. He was in the same boat as her, he was a fugitive, he could do nothing. So, that’s 2 years that aren’t his fault, at all.

EG is where it gets murkier. And more stupid, and a lot depends on what we may learn in future eps. Tumblr dates nothing, so be aware that as of writing, there’s only been 1 ep with Sharon released. That said, we know that, post-Snap, she was listed among the missing. I’m going under the assumption that she was not Snapped out by Thanos. This has yet to be word for word confirmed, but seems likely given how settled she was in ep 3, and the state of her kickass apartment. On the off-chance that she was in fact Dusted, then it wasn’t Steve’s fault at all, or any Avenger’s fault, but let’s go with option 1.

So, she’s already hiding, and has been for 2 years. The Snap happens. Chaos reigns, it’s nearly impossible to find out who’s here and who isn’t.  She’s a spy. A very good spy, who’s already been evading capture for 2 years. How much more impossible is it to find her then, when the entire world is upside-down? Good luck with that.

So, Steve and Nat—who I’m including here because she was also at least acquainted with Sharon and she made it so much of her business to tape the world back together post-Snap—they have to assume she’s Dusted, or that she’s still hiding and as of now impossible to find. Not to mix fictional bs with real world stuff but you know, I’m gonna do it anyway. Look at how pathetic much of the US’s response to covid-19 was. Look at the fighting over what to do, look at the different states making their own rules, violating guidelines, look at the lack of supplies. Now multiply that by at least a hundred, probably more like a thousand.

Steve and Nat and everyone else would’ve been in utter chaos for a long, long time before things even started to stabilize. Finding out if Sharon was even alive anymore would’ve been next to impossible for awhile, never mind clearing her name. Like, it’s shitty, but for a good long time, helping Sharon is going to be A, nearly impossible, and B, not an A-list priority for anyone.

So, after that point. Say it’s been a year, or more—probably more—however long it takes for things to kinda sorta settle. The idea that Sharon is still on the Most Wanted list? That the government supposedly still cares after Steve and Nat are just back and hanging around and no one cares about the treason or the Accords anymore? That is both completely and utterly stupid, and also the exact kind of thing the US government would do. Like, it should not fucking matter that Sharon stole the wings and shield, not in a post-Snap world. It shouldn’t even fucking matter that she’s stealing portraits. Oh, this Monet is gone? Great, the curator’s entire family is gone. Look at the empty streets and stadiums we see in EG. You think that many people were perusing museums post-Thanos? There are billions dead, it should not fucking matter if Sharon is stealing paintings, even the good ones.

So, why does it matter? I see three choices here:

1.       It doesn’t really, the government is just even more stupid than usual in a post-Thanos world, basically forgot Sharon was marked Public Enemy, and just never bothered to fix it.

2.       It does matter to the government, because paintings=money and even in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, money is still king. Also, we can’t actually do much for anyone in terms of actually helping them, but look everyone, look, we’re still going after this evil traitor, still working hard!

3.       We know Hydra never died completely. Hydra thrives on chaos. We know Hydra still had people in the government after SHIELD fell. Some of them may have kept Sharon a fugitive in the eyes of the law because she’s a Carter, the niece of the founder of SHIELD and the one who was always up in their business, and because Cap 2 proved that she will defy Hydra when given the chance, so let’s just make that harder for her.

It could’ve been some combo of the three of those, but the truth is that we have to make narrative sense of a real-life scenario that was stupid, and because of that, Sharon was left out in the cold and any choice you go with to explain that isn’t great. But what happened to Sharon isn’t on Steve, at least not solely. We don’t even know if he knew that she survived the Snap, and frankly, if she’d wanted him to, she probably could’ve gotten word out. Yeah, I know, fugitive, but again, the world was in absolute chaos immediately after the Snap, and for a long time after. She’s the ultimate spy. If she’d wanted or needed Steve’s help that badly, she could have gotten it. She could have found a way to let him know hey, I’m alive, long time no see. So, everything sucks now and it’s all on fire, but could you maybe see about getting me a pardon?

As far as we know, she did not do that. And even if she had, who’s to say anyone would’ve listened to Steve on it? Again, the government is stupid, possibly Hydra infused, and everyone who wasn’t a Hydra baddie had more immediate concerns than getting a pardon for Sharon.

And also, Steve is not affiliated with the government anymore. That’s kinda a big fucking part of CW. Steve does not have the ability to hand out pardons. He never did, and he sure doesn’t now.

So, did Steve fail her? Possibly. Maybe even probably, depending how you want to look at it. Maybe he should’ve looked for her more, been more proactive in seeing what was up with her. Is it bullshit the Bucky got a full pardon and Sharon didn’t? Yes, but that is not personally Steve’s fault.

What happened to Sharon sucks. She was failed, on multiple levels, and possibly by Steve.

Was it all entirely Steve’s fault, oh my God Steve, why didn’t you, personally, fix all of this yourself, somehow? No, no it wasn’t.

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 250: Why Is This Family Not in Therapy

Previously on BnHA: Fuyumi invited everyone over to Camp Todovid for a wholesome family meal because what could possibly go wrong. Kacchan and Deku proceeded to spend the evening blinking distress signals at each other in Morse code while Natsu shoved breadsticks into his purse and skedaddled after getting mad at Endeavor in a completely unexpected turn of events which absolutely no one could have foreseen. After dinner, Shouto had a heart to heart with Fuyu (and then Deku) about whether or not he was ready to forgive his dad, and meanwhile Endeavor said a prayer for his very dead son Touya. Poor Touya. He was such a nice boy. You know what he really used to like? Messenger bags. He’d put the oddest things in them, too. I wonder if Touya would still enjoy collecting strange and disturbing things in bags if he was still alive today. Alas. We’ll never know.

Today on BnHA: Some guy named Takami who just got out of prison decides to show up out of the blue and fucking kidnap Natsuo because WHY NOT. But before that happens, we get a nice scene of Kacchan and Deku sitting down with Shouto and Fuyu, who finally decide it’s high time they talked about THEIR SECRET DEAD BROTHER seeing as LET’S BE REAL, THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS DINNER TO BEGIN WITH. So basically, (1) he’s definitely dead! For sure! 100% deceased!, and (2) Natsuo apparently blames Endeavor for his death, lol no big. Deku and Kacchan are for some reason super fucking chill about hearing this, and then Endeavor comes over and is all “TIME TO HEAD BACK” and omg I’ve never hated him more. And then as they’re driving away from Todofield Hall, Takami shows up and is all “HEY ENDEAVOR LOOK I KIDNAPPED YOUR CHILD AND I’M GONNA KILL HIM!” and holy shit but Horikoshi is just fucking with us now, though.

(As always, all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added some  ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

all right manga, do your worst. I’m completely spoiler-free on this one. watch it not even be a flashback, after all of that lmao

(ETA: lol I read these two asks after I read the chapter and they’re pretty great:

honestly this week wasn’t that bad, though! the worst part of it was the whole “only 13 pages again” thing honestly. next week, though, it looks like we’ll be in for some fun times. oh goodness.)

so it appears night has fallen on Todofield Hall, and hoooooooooly shit you guys, are they. are they all gonna have a sleepover at Shouto’s house, because fdszllk I. I’m gonna. ldskfjla

(ETA: [kicks Endeavor in the shins] why do you hate fun!?)

who is talking?? are these prison stripes??

so is this the Takami guy narrating, then? just like we all predicted last week. ???

(ETA: so I saw all these people going “wtf is this Hawks’s dad??” and I was like “lol what” and it took me longer than I’d like to admit to put two and two together, but anyways, long story short, “Takami” just so happens to be Hawks’s recently revealed surname (with the same kanji and everything -- 鹰見). so while every instinct in my body is screaming at me “gtfo no way they’re related”, it is an extremely bizarre coincidence, so uh. ?? I got nothin’, basically.)

WHAT THE FUCK

IS THIS GUY STALKING THE TODOROKI HOUSE. ABOUT TO BREAK INTO TODOFELL IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT WHILE MY CHILDREN ARE ASLEEP!? CAN THEY JUST NOT CATCH A BREAK

also I will never understand villains who get all smug about being captured alive. “your one mistake was not killing me when you should have!” like okay, so you’re admitting you’re a piece of shit who should have died, and that the hero totally could have done it, but they were nice enough not to so SHAME ON THEM, apparently

anyways I really don’t understand what’s going on at all lol. some guy looked up to Endeavor and then got himself captured by him for some reason. let’s continue I guess

oh lord it keeps getting creepier

-- oohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiit, is this fucker about to air Endeavor’s dirty laundry?? is that what this is about?

AHHHHH

NATSU SWEETIE WHERE ARE YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS?? IT IS NOT SAFE! and also what the fuck, does Endeavor just not have any security in his home at all? surely he must, if for no other reason than the fact that HE HAS KIDS and he’s not always at home! I have to imagine that any pro hero with a family understands that they’re a potential target for villains and would take precautions. I wonder if we’re about to see this sneaky guy get wrecked

(ETA: nope, Endeavor really has no security whatsoever and Natsu got snatched while waiting outside for his Uber. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was too busy missing his brother and being sad to remember that he actually has a quirk himself. c’mon Natsu.

-- actually, come to think, props to Horikoshi for once again bucking the trend and having a guy be the one who gets kidnapped and becomes the damsel in distress. I’m just going to assume that had Fuyu been the one to get captured, Endeavor wouldn’t have even heard about it until he received a text from her with a picture of the guy encased in ice and a caption asking “so dad, uh, what should I do with this?”)

BUT FIRST, WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TODOROKI KITCHEN, WHERE TODOBAKUDEKU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING TEA WITH FUYU BECAUSE SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME YESSSSS

hhhglkohhhhh myyyyy godddddd

I KNOW!!! WHAT’S WITH THAT! WE’VE WAITED 250 FUCKING CHAPTERS PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SLY-ASS HINTS ALL “ALL RIGHT THEN, KEEP YOUR SECRETS” but is it finally time now? IS IT??!

Shouto says it’s not exactly an easy topic to bring up, and okay, fair. buuuut also, this is the same child who ambushed Deku in a corridor back when they barely knew each other and was all “let me tell you all about my dad’s quirk marriage and how he abused me and my mom and how I got this scar” so like. what exactly do you consider “easy to bring up” though

OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGGG

we’re getting DETAILS. ABOUT. TOUYA’S PAST fkdslfh holy motherfucking shitballs someone pinch me

she says it happened right after Rei got hospitalized, which yeah, we all figured based on the middle school uniform in the photo. so that definitely pins down his age then, doesn’t it? Shouto was six when that happened, so if Touya was in middle school he’d have been between 12 and 15. so it’s very likely then that he was 14, the exact same age as Fuyu, so therefore THE TWIN THEORY IS CONFIRMED! WE DID IT TUMBLR

anyways back to being sad though, because

can someone please hug this child?? what are you all even doing?! do you not see his face?? jesus christ

oh no oh my god are you serious are you

okay, before I go on to the next panel and commence FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, I need to stop here though, because the thought that the Todos actually were in the process of healing nine years ago and could have potentially been spared years of additional pain had it not been for this tragedy is. just. I fucking can’t. I need a minute here. god

anyway. so now on to the freaking out though, because

:) :))) :))))))) huh. you don’t say

(ETA: hmm in hindsight I promised freakouts and then all I did was go “:)” but please understand that the “:)” conveys so much more inner freaking out than words could possibly communicate. just picture me screaming and waving my arms around like a Kermit the frog gif okay.)

look at this you guys. this revelation is so stone cold fucking sober that it even got Katsuki to make an actual normal face for the first time in god knows how many chapters, wow

by the way, words can hardly express how much I appreciate that Katsuki is sitting here chilling out drinking tea with the rest of them and listening to this tale of woe and empathizing like a normal, well-adjusted person, though. I will never take that for granted. thank you character development gods. y’all are bros

anyways the face in question that Natsu was making is so fucking sad, and just. THEY ALL NEED HUGS. why is this family not in therapy

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU SON OF A BITCH!! JUST LIKE THAT YOU’RE RIGHT BACK ON MY SHIT LIST, ENDEAVOR!! CHRIST ALMIGHTY ARE YOU SERIOUS, SO WE’RE REALLY JUST GONNA LEAVE OFF THERE? “LOL SO YEAH, NATSU STILL THINKS DAD KILLED OUR BROTHER AND THAT’S WHY ALL THE TENSION” and Deku and Kacchan just nod like that is in any way a satisfying explanation rather than an INCREDIBLY OMINOUS STATEMENT which only goes and raises about A BILLION MORE QUESTIONS OMG. “oh okay, so he hates your dad because he thinks that he murdered your mysterious other brother we’re only just now hearing about. say no more. no further context necessary” fucking -- 

listen, you two. where the fuck are your investigative skills?? SOME SCOOBY SQUAD YOU ARE!!

oh my goodness gracious

listen guys, things I was not expecting to check off my character development bucket list today: Katsuki joining the Fuyumi fanclub and bonding with her over recipes. I wasn’t even aware that was on my list. BUT IT SURE WAS, AND IT’S CHECKED NOW AND I LOVE IT

also love that Shouto tells Fuyu to just text the recipe to him, and then he will share it with Katsuki. because they are best friends

also Deku is the only one here with any manners at all but oh well. we all been knew

(ETA: though to be fair, Katsuki asking for the recipe is about as big a compliment as one can give to a chef, and it kind of serves as a combination “thanks for the meal” and “everything was really good” tbh. shit, now I want her recipe.)

fdlkjfg

... [reaches out to gently touch the panels] so soft

-- BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S EVEN SOFTER?

[faint sound of my heart imploding] ah

oh my god his face

and Katsuki’s face too. boy are you jealous. to think you were all “WHY THOUGH!?” coming here, only to walk away from it all with a kickass new mapo tofu recipe as well as a new person to add to your secret list of people you would literally die for. awwwwwww

and Shouto. omg. this is the most bashful panel I’ve ever seen. what a blessed chapter

anyway so now they’re all driving away (back to school?? I think he said?) and Endeavor’s talking to them about their upcoming schedule. so I guess they are heading back to school, then

anyway so he wants them to work the weekend as well as two weekdays? damn that’s a lot of class to be missing, he’s asking them to skip literally half the school week (since they have Saturday class too)

wow you guys look at this panel

takeaways from this: 1.) I honestly would have thought Deku would be the one tutoring other people in English, if anything. as of the midterms, he was above Shouto in academic rankings, but more importantly he’s also the biggest All Might fan on the planet, and All Might spent a lot of time in America in his youth and presumably speaks decent English himself, so you’d think Deku’s English would be passable just from his obsession alone. but I guess you just can’t beat that fancy private school education

and the other takeaway: Katsuki doesn’t like being squished in the backseat of a cramped Japanese car with Deku and Shouto. this one is absolutely shocking. I’m gonna need a moment to process this for sure. anyways poor Deku, he’s probably getting so many elbows to the ribs right now. I hope he elbows back

(ETA: actually the fact that Katsuki is apparently sticking his head out the window here in addition to complaining about the cramped conditions makes me wonder if he’s actually getting carsick. my poor baby do you need some dramamine.)

guys, meet Endeavor’s chauffeur

so anyway this is a bit sudden but I have a new favorite character now. life is funny like that. does he remind anyone else of Major Armstrong

wow Endeavor is answering the question seriously

okay but shit, I really fucking love this answer, though. he’s so matter-of-fact about it. because the thing is, the question isn’t really “when did you start baby-sitting a bunch of kids”; it’s “when did you actually start caring about something other than yourself?” and the answer is that it happened when he finally reached the top and realized the responsibility that went hand in hand with that role. it forced him to finally look past just himself, and to think about what it really means to be a hero. shit, I feel another essay coming on, but it’ll have to wait for some other time lol. we still have to see if Natsu’s going to make it out of this alive

anyway so now Armstrong is chuckling and saying that status really does change people huh, and they’re driving on into the night

OH SHIT

THAT’S A NICE SON YOU’VE GOT THERE, ENDEAVOR. IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE... okay you know what, I’m not sure where I was headed with that joke, but in any case I can’t finish it because this isn’t funny at all actually, this is actually SO FUCKING BAD oh shit oh shit

NATSUUUUU

oh no he’s so scared oh fuck. fuck. he’s only 19, he’s just a kid still. god. why do I always get so worked up over these parts. what am I doing reading a shounen manga if I can’t handle seeing kids in peril. HORIKOSHI PLEASE BE KIND TO MY BABIES

holy shit

okay, is this implying that Katsuki was sticking his head out of the window in that previous panel?? I realize more important things are happening and this is hardly the time to dwell on this, but jesus christ my kid is out here trying to get himself decapitated. boy what is wrong with you

anyway so now something is going "pop” and I have no idea. ??

(ETA: lol I guess it was Endeavor? you know, how Endeavor sometimes just goes “pop” for no reason. that’s just the sound someone makes when spontaneously bursting into flames.)

oh

far be it from me to start whipping out analogies about a mama bear and her cubs, but. damned if that ain’t what’s happening though. motherfucker, you mess with his kids? so would you like to die fast, or slow

so now some weird fucking shit is happening to the car, and I guess it’s this guy’s quirk again?

wow my man, so you’re really attacking the car with the three protagonists with SOMETHING TO PROVE in the backseat. you really do have a death wish

(ETA: on top of that, attacking the car mere minutes before the winter break ends, and with it, the deadline for “defeating a villain quicker than Endeavor.” HMMM anybody got some popcorn?)

now Endeavor is shouting “LET HIM GO!” because that’s what superheros shout when someone is being kidnapped

lol poor Natsu looks kind of awkward now

like, don’t get him wrong, he’s still scared for his life. but also he’s starting to get a bit of that same feeling that Katsuki and Deku were getting in the last chapter, like he’s suddenly found himself right in the midst of some grade A melodrama from which there is no escape. anyways don’t mind him, he’s just going to chill here in this big pile of bandages and see where this goes

so Endeavor is all “........... YOU’RE FROM SEVEN YEARS AGO!” and honestly that’s impressive. I guess the quirk is a pretty memorable one, though

wow now they’re suddenly being all coy with this guy’s name? what the hell

?? Natsu bud, I feel ya, this really is some awkward shit right here

ohhhh!

that’s the name of the chapter! well all right then, so at least that much makes sense now

so now Ending is apologizing to Endeavor, and wow, tons of essay fuel in these next two panels here

“you had so many things that I could never get��� doesn’t this sound remarkably similar to Deku’s speech to Kacchan during their second fight at Ground Beta? huh

and also, I think we are slowly dancing closer and closer to the Thing Katsuki Lacks That He Needs To Learn From His Internship From Endeavor. what do you guys think? I have a lot of thoughts about this, but again, I’ll save it for another post seeing as shit is hitting the fan right now and all

OH SHIT

ARE YOU SERIOUS, OF ALL THE TIMES TO HAVE ANOTHER THIRTEEN PAGE CHAPTER! HORIKOSHI YOU ARE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE

well shit. okay so when he says “don’t make the same mistake twice”, he’s clearly talking about Endeavor letting him live the last time they met, but also I can’t help but feel like there might be some kind of double meaning here as well. the fact that he went from theft to kidnapping and attempted murder, on top of him mentioning earlier about how he went digging into Endeavor’s past, makes me wonder if he could possibly be trying to recreate a specific set of events. or is that crazy??

but just, hear me out. what if something similar to this went down before, with Touya perhaps being taken hostage by a villain (though it couldn’t have been the same guy because the timing is off, and also Endeavor didn’t recognize him right off the bat), and Endeavor making some critical mistake which resulted in him failing to save him, and Natsu then blaming him for that and holding him responsible for the death. honestly that makes the most sense to me, since I would think that “literally murdered his own kid” would be kind of a deal-breaker as far as the rest of the family ever reconciling with him. so yeah, this could get very interesting here

(ETA: hoo boy, so I’ve been browsing the bnha tags a bit, and it seems that a lot of people are interpreting the hints in this chapter very differently from me lol. I admit I could certainly be wrong about the “don’t make the same mistakes” bit having a double meaning. but like, do we really believe that Endeavor just straight up murdered his son and got away with it, or that it was covered up or something? or that he drove Touya to suicide? I think it’s much more likely that Touya pushed himself too hard, or that he accidentally got caught up in one of Endeavor’s attacks, or something along those lines.

what really struck me, though, was that a lot of people actually seem to be hoping for it to come out that Endeavor really is responsible, though. like, to the point where they’re prepared to be outraged if it turns out he’s not, and this part of the story doesn’t end up conforming to the narrative of Endeavor just being a sinister cartoon villain. and like, I don’t really know what to say about that. except that I really hate this idea that if an abuser is ever portrayed as something other than a heartless monster then it’s super-problematic and/or just bad writing. that Endeavor not murdering his son = Horikoshi endorses child abuse. or something. anyways I don’t have the spoons to really throw my hat into the ring here, but basically my opinion is that life is rarely just black and white in that way, and this story reflects that, and I think it’s absolutely the right call to make and is actually very good writing and I respect it. 

and also like, it’s not some all-or-nothing thing here where he’s either a perfect saint, or the worst person to ever exist! what he is is a man who made some terrible choices in the past and abused and hurt the very people he should have loved and protected the most. and what he is, also, is a man who has realized the awfulness of the things he’s done, and is trying his best now to be a good person. what he is is a human being. and acknowledging that doesn’t mean that you condone the abuse; it simply means that you acknowledge that people are made up of more than just the worst things they’ve done in their lives. that’s it.

anyways, for all of my “not gonna through my hat into the ring” nonsense, I’m doing a pretty good impression of exactly that, so I’ll shut up now. damn you Endeavor and your controversy-sparking ways. what kind of psychopath looks at the fucking BnHA fandom and says “not bad, but you know what this place could use? more discourse.” you knew exactly what you were doing, you fiend.)

anyways I’m going to hope and assume that Natsu isn’t actually about to meet his end here at the hands of this bestriped man and his peculiarly thematic villain name and sinister bandage arrows (are they bandages?? maybe not since they seem pretty solid and he’s threatening to stab Natsu in the eye with one. idk). and for all of my joking earlier, this guy actually does appear to have a real, genuine death wish since he keeps talking about how Endeavor should have killed him before. so in addition to all this other drama, toss in an attempted suicide by cop as well! this fucking arc, man. goddamn

[60b3r]

Memes Kill Creativity?

Memes vs. Genes

In the 1976 book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term 'meme' to describe something with symbolic meaning that spreads by imitation from person to person within a culture. This idea is an analogue to the nature of selfish gene, described similarly as a piece of genetic material possessing information required to be able to replicate themselves inside a living. The only key difference in both terms is that the gene is natural, while memes are artificial. The rest of memes' operating schemes completely mimic the genes perfectly. In our current timeline, memes as we know today are taking many forms: as image macros, short videos, and rick-rollicking music. Memes in imageboards and forums have been pushing internet porn traffic into a stalemate and putting our power grid into unnecessary burden. Of course, memes are not to be regretted, but otherwise need to be taken seriously, since they are able to put our current understanding of media industry and economic system into shame.

As with every other thing that have existed, memes are not exempt in its dualistic nature. If you ever venture to the depths of dark web, you may know that memes also took part in the infamous mimetic Tumblr-4chan War. Not only that, some memes are reportedly causing harm towards some users, even though it is often disguised or said to be a dank joke or mere sarcasm. Memes have seen its share of use in online bullying, mass shootings, and hate crimes, cowering behind the freedom of expression tag. Regardless, memes are also an extremely effective form of information transmission. Like all living systems with no set moral standards, memes do evolve and are subject to natural selection. Memes, like genes, actually work like a mindless machine. Again, this is eerily like the performance of DNA in living systems. The last thing we want from this thing is virulence.

Every day, something went viral on Twitter. Hashtags are flaring into the top trends, some videos are being watched billions of times, and another cat vs. cucumber pic garnered thousands of likes. Viral properties of a virus (duh) is defined as the capability to multiply quickly in relatively short amount of time. The term saw a huge increase in usage during the dawn of the internet age and the rise of computer malwares spread through unsecured ports of network protocol. This term is being applied to memes, as it is like a virus (which is a pure embodiment of a selfish gene). Now, a lot of people are utilizing memes to create art, because it enables them to cater the short-attention spans of current internet users. They create shorts, illustrations, inside jokes, and small comic strips. Some of you might not agree with me on this one, but stay with me now and I will explain to you why I would like to treat memes and art as a single unit of interest in this argument.

The dawn of meme-technology

Viral memes and their popularity are now often considered important in defining a time period in the internet culture. Now every netizen can somewhat distinguish the approximate age, sex, and political views of other users from the usage of rage comics, meme songs, and meme platforms they use. Intuitively we can make a generalized difference between the userbase of Reddit, 4chan, 9gag, Vine, and now Tiktok. Others, by the share of relatability with sub-genres of different areas of interest (film memes and game memes). Some others, even, in the perspectives of different social and economic class system (first world problems and third world success memes). Meme preferences to us netizens are ironically giving away our anonymous identity. Identity which the media companies are vying to get their hands on. That's where I would like to come into my opening argument: both memes and genes which originally possesses no intrinsic value, suddenly become a subject of value with technology.

How do we draw the logic, I say? The ones and zeros inside electrical systems are value-free, so does DNA in living cells. As we meddle ourselves with biotechnology to manipulate genetic material for profit, we also simmer ourselves in the computer sciences and tweak physical computation to perform better. We give value in the inanimate object by manipulating them. In our world, we often heard these expressions: that communication is key, sometimes silence is golden, and those who control the information wields the power. What’s these three statements have in common? Yes, information and expression. Memes are the simplest form of both. This is the beginning of the logic: memes are no longer in and on itself independent of external values. The infusion of utilitarian properties in memes as artificial constructs are seemingly inevitable, and for the better or worse shapes our current society.

We might have heard that somewhere somehow, the so called ‘global elites’ with their power and wealth are constantly controlling biotech research and information technology—or, in the contrary, they control these knowledge and resources to keep shovelling money and consolidate their power. Memes are one of their tools to ‘steer’ the world according to their 'progressive agenda', seemingly driving the world ‘forward’ towards innovation and openness. Nah, I am just joking. But, stay with me now. It is actually not them (the so-called global elites) who you should be worried about. It is us—you and I, ourselves—and our own way of unwittingly enjoying memes that are both toxic and fuelling the age-old capitalism. Funny, isn't it? We blame society, but we are society. But how are be becoming the culprits yet also be the prey at the same time?

Middle-class artists are hurt

Now, aggressive marketing tactics using memes are soaring. Media companies are no doubt cashing in the internet and viral memes to their own benefit. Streaming and cataloguing are putting up a good fight compared to their retail, classic ways of content delivery. This is quite true with the strategies of Spotify and YouTube, other media companies alike. They can secure rights to provide high-quality content from big time artists and filmmakers and target these works directly to the end consumer, effectively cutting the cost of distribution which usually goes to the several layers of distribution line like vinyl products, radio contracts, and Blu-ray DVDs. I believe this is good, since it is like an affirmative action for amateur artists to start a career in the art industry. Or is it? Does it really encourage small-time artists to begin? Yes. How about the middle-class artists? Not necessarily.

You might sometimes wonder, “how the hell did I get somewhere just by following the trending or hot section in the feed?”. This toxicity of memes often brings some bad things to our tables. Social media algorithms handle contents (like viral memes) by putting those with high views or likes to the front page, effectively ‘promoting’ the already popular post and creating a positive feedback cycle. By doing so, they could capitalize on ad profits on just few ‘quality’ contents over huge amounts of audience in a very short amount of time. The problem is most of the time, these ‘quality’ contents have no quality at all. They just happen to possess the correct formula to be viral, with the correct SEO keywords and click-bait titles with no real leverage in the art movement. This way, I often find both the talented and the lucky—of which the boundaries between them are always blurred—overshadow the aspiring ‘middle-class’ artists who work hard to perfect their craft.

If you are already a famous guitarist with large fanbase, lucky you, you are almost guaranteed to top the billboards. What, you have no skills? Post a video of you playing ‘air guitar’ and… affirmative actions to the rescue. Keep on riding the hype wave and suddenly you get to top trending with minimal effort, thanks to your weird haircut. Those haters will surely make a meme out of your silly haircut, not even your non-existent guitar skills. But still, hype is still a hype, and there’s no such thing as a bad publication. This also answers why simple account who reposts other people’s content could get much more followers than the hard-working creators. Not only being outperformed by the already famous artists taking social media by storm, now the ‘middle-class’ artists are also dealing with widespread content theft and repost accounts because of the unfair, bot grading system. It is unimaginable how many nobodies got the spotlight they don’t deserve just because they look or act stupid and the whole internet cheers around them. Remember, this is not always about the artist, but also the quality of the art itself. I believe a good art should be meaningful to the beholder.

Why capitalism kills creativity

The problem in current art industry is that we are feeling exhausted with the same, generic, and recycled stuff. We indeed already see there’s less discourse about art now. Sure, the problem lies not in the artist or medium, but is in the viewers—the consumer of the art form—and how the capitalist system reacts to it. The hyper efficient capitalist system doesn’t want to waste any more time and money trying to figure out what’s new or what’s next for you. What we love to see, what is familiar to us, the market delivers them. The rise of viral memes phenomenon in the social media pushes the market system to the point where they demand artists to create the same, redundant, easy art form. Listen to some of The Chainsmokers’ work and we'll see what music have become: the identical 4-chord progression, the same drop, the predictable riser, and the absence of meaningful lyrics. We sat down and watch over the same superhero movies trying hard to be the next Marvel blockbuster. The production companies are also happy not to pay writers extra to come up with new ideas and instead settle with borrowed old scripts from decades old TV drama. Disney's The Lion King and its heavy use of the earlier Japanese Kimba The White Lion storyline is one guilty example.

Despite it initially being an economic system and not a political ideology, it is untrue that many Marxist philosophers usher the suppression of art. While it is ironic that Stalinist policy intends to curb ‘counter-revolutionaries’—in this case his enemies—by limiting freedom of press and media; American propaganda added further so that it seems that the ideology is also limiting art and kill creativity. We all know the Red Scare in the U.S. during the Cold War saw a popular narrative of communism and socialism that is devoid of freedom of expression. This state propaganda then further become ‘dehumanization’ and make freedom of expression invalid under the guise of equality. Marx argue that total equality is not possible, and the uniqueness is being celebrated by having them doing what they do best and provide the best for their community. Thus, an individual's interests should be indistinguishable from the society's interest. Freedom is granted when the whole society is likely to benefit from an action. According to Mao in his Little Red Book, freedom of expression in art and literature, after all, is what initially drive the class consciousness. It is capitalism, not communism, that kills creativity.

If left unchecked, the threat of this feedback loop is going to cause a lack of diversity, resulting in stale content, less art critique, and overall decline in our artistic senses. Artists’ creativity that are supposedly protected by the free internet are destroyed within itself through the sheer overuse of viral memes. Capitalism has successfully turned the supposedly open, free-for-all, value-free platform that is the internet against the people into a media in which they are undeniably shaping new values on its own: the art culture that's not geared towards aesthetics and appreciation, but towards more views and personalized clicks. How social media and media industry caters to the demands of the consumer are, in Marx's own words, “digging its own grave”.

Spare nothing, not even the nostalgia

Well, people romanticize the oldies. The good old days, when everything is seen as better and easier. Look at the new art installations that uses the aesthetics of naughty 90s graphic design to become new, the posters released in this decade but with an art deco of the egregious 80s pop artist Andy Warhol, or the special agent-spy movies set frozen in the Nifty Fifties. Nostalgia offers us a way to escape from the hectic choices of our contemporary: different genres of music, dozens of movies to watch, and different fashion to consider. We choose to settle with our old habits, that we know just works. Remember how do we throw our money on sequels and reboots and remakes of old movies we used to watch during our younger days? We don’t even care about new releases at the cinema! Did you remember how Transformers 2 and their subsequent sequels perform at the box office at their opening week?

The huge sales of figurines and toys of Star Wars franchise—if we could scrutinize them enough—came from the old loyal fanbase of the late Lucasfilm series, not primarily from new viewers. Then suddenly, surprise-surprise. Our love for an old franchise deemed dead enough to be remembered and treasure soon must be destroyed to pave way for three new outrageous sequels (the ones with Kylo Ren and Snoke) by the grace of our beloved capitalism. Sadly, nothing is left untouched by the capitalism’s unforgiving corruption. Nostalgia has become a gimmick that makes people like some art more than they should, because it’s familiar. It is another way of squeezing your pocket dry.

Not that it is bad to make derivatives like covers or remixes, but the trade-offs are far too high. Consequentially, the number of original arts is now very little, because artists don’t bother making new stuff if they just aim for a quick buck. Most of the young adult novels are essentially the same lazy story progression with only different time setting and different character names. Most of them even have the same ending! No more a beautiful journey like the thrillers of Dan Brown or the epic adventures of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, which defines their respective times. Do we seriously want to consider Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey as a unique work? Isn’t the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner essentially the same?

If you play video games, you must have known that the trend always starts over. Game developers are making gazillions of sequels, and only a few of them that are actually good. Most are outright trash. Oh, wait, old video games like Homeworld are also getting remasters to cater the demand of nostalgic consumers. No new Command and Conquer release from EA Games? Re-release the 25 years old Red Alert because people will re-buy it! Profit!

15 June 2020 8.03 PM

[darling-dontforgetme]

the whole list

I’m sorry that I took so long, and I’m so boring, but here you go!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

 Coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Eww, no to both.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

My mom worked at my elementary school, so I was very much a teacher’s pet.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Plastic cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel or boho

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

I really want to say tv shows, but I’m awful at finishing them. I still need to watch the last few episodes of Apocalypse. Don’t at me. 

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Is it weird if I say my cats? It’s weird, I know. They all have different smells, and it’s comforting to be around them when I’m stressed or upset.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Nothing, literally nothing. I was that kid who always had their nose in a book, so you can imagine how awkward I was in p.e.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich or pancakes

12. name of your favorite playlist?

The only playlist I listen to is my own. I listen to a lot of country, some musicals, and a handful of older songs.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Gummy bears

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Handmaid’s Tale

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Why sit when you can lay down? I usually sit with my legs crossed.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My work pair of tennis shoes

18. ideal weather?

WINTER. All the cold.

19. sleeping position?

On my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

Books. I read so many books as a kid.

22. role model?

I don’t know. My therapist is pretty cool. Sarah Paulson maybe?

23. strange habits?

I eat soup with a fork. I have to put on my right sock and shoe before I can put on the left. I eat pop tarts upside down.

24. favorite crystal?

I don’t know. Rhodochrosites and amethysts are pretty.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Queen of the Silver Dollar

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Stay inside, lol. I play a lot of animal crossing, try to write sometimes. Read.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Also, stay inside- still playing animal crossing and writing or reading.

28. five songs to describe you?

I honestly have no idea. 

29. best way to bond with you?

Just hang out and talk with me. I like to stay home, or go on simple dates. I love, love, love aquariums.

30. places that you find sacred?

Churches, cemeteries

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I’m not very confident in myself, so I tend to stick with t-shirts and shorts or leggings.

32. top five favorite vines?

I do not watch vine.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Sorry or what’s for dinner

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Those lawyer commercials that come on all of the time

35. average time you fall asleep?

Between 11:30 and 2:30

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Probably something with SpongeBob

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Hear me out, what about no lemon?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

These kids started a metal band, and our administrators thought the student body loved it, so they got to perform a lot.

41. last person you texted?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Some sort of berry

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Shorts and a t-shirt (wasn’t kidding when I said I only wear shorts and a t-shirt)

47. favorite type of cheese?

American

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly says "something unique but sweet but with a lot of depth to it, so like a kiwi or a honeydew or a prickly pear.”

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Do no harm, but take no shit

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably something my sister has said or done

51. current stresses?

So much. I lost my job recently, and there's just a lot going on in my life right now.

52. favorite font?

Can I pick people’s handwriting as my favorite font? I know it’s dumb.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Well, I should use more lotion

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That the whole world is going to expect you to know things without you actually ever being taught those things

55. favorite fairy tale?

The Little Mermaid?

56. favorite tradition?

Getting cake for birthdays because I love cake

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Me, myself, and I

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, caring for others. I don’t know.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Don’t fuck up

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t really have any anime knowledge

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“You want to tell her that there are between two hundred and four hundred billion stars in the Milky Way, but when you look up, you could only ever see, like, twenty five hundred of them. You are one of the ones that no one can see. She is one of the ones that’s even visible in the city.”

-The Moment by T.C. Anderson

Guys, this is my favorite book. I highly recommend checking it out.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Alice Macray, Maura Isles, Temperance Brennan, Regina Mills, Callie Torres, Olivia Benson, Rachel Stevens

63. five songs that would play in your club?

She’s a Rainbow, Free To Be You and Me, Defying Gravity, Goodbye Earl, Queen of the Silver Dollar.  My club would not be very cool.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz

65. any permanent scars?

I cut the side of my thumb off with a pair of scissors once.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Zinnias, Passion flowers, sunflowers

67. good luck charms?

I don’t know that I have any?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

GRAPE

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am so bad at thinking up answers on the spot. I’m sorry I suck at this.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

Any sort of animal pattern

72. worst subject?

Science

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Peanut butter and chocolate on ritz crackers

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Depends on the type of pain. Headaches- I usually take it pretty soon, but for other things, I tend to wait.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I would assume kindergarten or first grade?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I no longer have a school ID, but that definitely looked better

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies sounds so much better, but I say lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

Console

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

I’m going to be single and alone for my entire life 

88. your greatest wish?

To fall in love

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My sister

90. luckiest mistake?

I don’t know

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights

93. nicknames?

Kat, Kate, Backpack

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr

96. desktop background?

It’s a sunflower drawing

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Maybe 15-20?

98. favorite historical era?

I don’t know

[simonjadis]

Anon I’m ASSUMING that these are from the same person; apologies if they are not

I would say that my feelings are similar to yours, but not quite identical ...

Disney’s handling has been imperfect, and some of the mistakes have been made the highest level (I know that people give Kathleen Kennedy a hard time, but if rumor is to be believed, some of the interference that made IX kind of weird came from higher than that)

for example, Kennedy said in an interview that she tries to find people who just make big, successful movies to make sure that these are also big, successful movies. I can understand that as being a safe bet from a business stand point, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone passionate about very specifically telling good, new Star Wars stories, which we did not really get in the Sequel Trilogy

(one of the most common theories that I saw from TLJ apologists was that people didn’t like that it was new/different than what they were expecting, which was really not the issue for me or my friends. Also it was just a speedrun of parts of Episodes V and VI)

I think that I’m “too close” to Star Wars to see it as a financial asset rather than a beloved universe full of characters and stories that I adore, but I don’t think that “literally just rehash the Original Trilogy for two movies and barely acknowledge any other part of Star Wars until IX” was a good idea

Rey deserved her own story. and Luke deserved to not be retroactively robbed of his

as for George Lucas, I do think that years of backlash over the Prequels sucked the fun out of it for him. Also, who doesn’t want four billion dollars? it was a sweetheart deal for Disney, of course

the sad thing is that this meant the end of Clone Wars, because Disney took one look at Lucasfilm’s budget and was like “OH NO YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON A CARTOON” which is why Season 6 was paid for by Netflix and why Maul: Son of Dathomir was a comic

I love Star Wars Rebels and I’m not trying to knock the show at all, but the budgetary difference was palpable. Clone Wars did have it a little easier because of the Clone Troopers (all having the same face), but on Rebels, you notice that 90% of the Imperials are the same guy wearing a hat with his visor obscuring most of his face. market scenes show just a few people (but plenty of Storm Troopers)

the designs of the main characters -- Ezra, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Kallus, Thrawn, Kanan, etc -- are great and loving and detailed and most of those change a little over time, but there’s a reason that we only see so many planets on Rebels. look at the huge armies and crowds in Rebels. my friend @drunkkenobi​ is the first who pointed out to me that in Clone Wars, you sometimes see lines of ships (Space Traffic) and each ship in line will be unique, distinct from the others

it’s not Rebels’ fault that they didn’t have that kind of budget. that’s also why their space battles (and space ships) never quite look right. meanwhile, for Clone Wars, if they wanted a particular scene or ship that went over their planned budget, all that they had to do was ask Uncle George

eccentric billionaires funding expensive media isn’t necessarily the most sustainable model for storytelling, but it sure worked out well for Clone Wars and for The Expanse

(Jeff Bezos personally called up the head of Amazon Prime programming, who had already been considering acquiring the extremely good but expensive show, and was like “hey the cast from this show is at a thing where I am, I’d love to just tell them that their show is saved, give me it?” and we saw as many new locations in Season 4 as we did in the first three seasons)

but streaming -- where you actually get money directly from customers who then, through their activity on your platform, show you exactly what they want to see aka what is keeping them on your platform -- offers a new opportunity for high quality genre media. remember, scifi and fantasy were EVERYWHERE in the ‘90s and the early aughts, and then because too expensive for regular TV unless they had huge audiences. only through streaming do we have these new Star Treks, The Witcher, and the real possibility of a new Stargate series

why do I bring up streaming? because

The Mandalorian goes to show that Disney can 100% do good Star Wars. Rebels was good, despite its budget, but can you imagine how much better it would have been if it had aired on Disney+

as with the DC movies (three of which are good and I’m also excited for Birds of Prey), the solution to the our-movies-made-a-lot-of-money-but-aren’t-strictly-speaking-good is literally just “let the people who do the cartoons make the movies”

and now we’re getting a final, seventh (half) season of Clone Wars! twelve episodes looking better than the show has ever looked!!

if you’re like me, you probably thought to yourself “gee, only 12?” and, cynically, you figured that it’s a trick -- announced at ComicCon in 2018 to build up the first wave of hype for Disney+

and it is ... but it 100% worked on me, I signed up for Disney+ and will pay anything for Clone War

my HOPE is that this is a test run to see if people really like high-quality animated Star Wars stories enough to continue with it. there’s only so much clone wars that one can cover (my suspicion is that we will see Ahsoka fake her death during Order 66 in these eps, so yep, that’s the end of the Clone Wars right there)

imagine a well-written series with everything that Clone Wars had in terms of content and visual quality, but it’s set after Episode IX. to my frustration, IX ends with effectively the same worldstate as VI which essentially means that nothing much happened in the Sequel Trilogy. but imagine a series set after IX. we could see a new set of (Force-wielding) characters. we could see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose during some episodes. Rose could finally get to do something that’s not an insulting fool’s errand (she deserves so much better!!!!!)

we don’t need a new Big Scary Empire/First Order thing, just organized crime and pirates and Hutts and bounty hunters and individual planet systems going to war as the characters try to assemble a NEW New Republic (gods I hate the unchanged worldstate)

now, I know that Star Wars Resistance is not ... reassuring. this is the only screencap that I have from it because I couldn’t get into it. it’s not the animation (I enjoyed Tron Uprising and Iron Man: Armored Adventures and this is the same kind of deal), but three things:

-I watch Star Wars for the Force primarily; other stuff can be cool but I need the Force

-I will never care about ships racing and really I don’t care about an individual ship flying; I’m a Command Ship kind of space nerd

-apparently the writing doesn’t improve much during the first season. people tell the main character to not do something, then he does it, and disaster ensues. that’s ... it’s fine, it’s fine to exist as a show, it’s just not for me

obviously, not all Star Wars media is for me, but when something -- like TLJ or the Sequel Series as a whole (even though VII and IX are enjoyable) or Resistance -- disappoints me, I would never accuse it of “ruining Star Wars”

Star Wars is a whole franchise. the breadth of canon isn’t all wiped away by some disappointments. was the MCU ruined by Age of Ultron? no. it was a bad movie but from the same franchise that gave us The Winter Soldier and Thor Ragnarok. hell, Dawn of Justice doesn’t “ruin” Wonder Woman or Aquaman or Shazam. bad movies aren’t contagious

for the past several years, the Entitled Dude crowd has felt empowered. they were radicalized in the altright/redpill/MGTOW/meninist/nazi/gamergate/comicsgate/etc spheres of the internet and now they just have a reflex where they see any sort of representation and decry it as “SJW,” which they also seem to think is a bad thing

in the same way that well-meaning people on tumblr can get radicalized into being antis/puriteens, people with certain vulnerabilities on reddit or youtube can get sucked into a world that tells them that they are the default and that other people existing is “political” in media and in real life, and that people being upset by outright cruelty towards them is both funny and means that the cruel person is the victor. they need therapy and studios need to not listen to them

unfortunately, sometimes there are movies that are bad despite having things like solid representation. Ghostbusters 2016 was a delight, but my friends and I with whom I saw TLJ (all of us queer feminists) left the theater angry. we’ve bitten our tongues a lot (even if it seems otherwise) because publicly criticizing the film too often leads some incel monster to chime in with agreement, and we’re just like

the redpillgate crowed et all is a natural ally of conservative white evangelicals, even though the former group is generally made up of New Atheists (the short version is atheists who hold socially conservative views because racism/misogyny/transphobia benefit them without using christianity as an excuse). it’s kind of like how terfs will side with conservative hate groups because, though they’re natural enemies, they both despite trans people just for existing

unfortunately, when you’re looking at who went to see a movie or who hated it, not everyone posts with an ID card saying exactly their demographic. which is only going to make studios like Disney even more nervous about including queer content in Star Wars and in the MCU (I mean real queer content with characters whose names don’t have to be searched on a wiki)

that was a bit of a tangent, but yeah. sorry if I missed anything

[banchoaniki]

Multiples of 4 then ☠

4: Talk show host: Imma be real w you I havent watched a talk show since attack of the show on g4 and that got cancelled years ago 8: Yankee candle scent: Fresh Balsam Fir. Smells like christmas and being cozy. Pine scents in general are god tier 12: Thing to cook: Anything that puts a smile on the face of those who eat it. Or Steak, Mashed Potatoes and Asparagus. Its easy, nutritious, and delicious. (That’d make a good dating profile header) 16: Book: Hard question. I’d have to go with Colorless Tsukuru and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami. 20: Holiday: Thanksgiving! I was born on it, so I have to like it. Other than that, toss up between Halloween and Christmas. 24: Movie: Uhhhhhhh, for live action, its a toss up between A Clockwork Orange and Apocalypse Now. For animated, Mind Game 28: Band: I dont follow a ton of bands, so Death Grips I guess. Its not like I dont listen to other music, but its mostly individual songs as opposed to deep diving into their discography 32: Athlete: I dont follow sports dude. Maybe like Usain Bolt cause he also has a pet tortoise like me.  36: Vehicle: Triump Bonneville T-100 40: Last person I got mad at: Uhh my former friend who’s girlfriend left him for being a piece of shit basically 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I’m not missing anyone a whole ton rn. Wish we could meet tho jaz! 48: Ever been in love: Of course, its great and terrible 52: My room is: Fairly messy rn but I’ll clean up soon.  56: Favorite web site: Certainly not tumblr dot com. Idk dude probably like youtube cause I spend a lot of time watching videos or listening to podcasts.  60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat their partners like crap 64: My friends are: Great people! Things have been getting better for a lot of people in my circle of friends recently, and they really deserve it! 68: The worst sound in the world: Nails on chalkboard.  72: Today: Pretty ok day. Need to get a few things under control and still need to work out a bit, but studied hard and met up w a classmate to work on a project together! 76: Right now I am talking to: No one in particular, but ive been talking to friends throughout the day 80: The first person i talked to today was: Probably my dad when he woke me up 84: People call me: a lot of things im sure. Depends on who you ask.  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Connection to where I live. My family’s owned my house for almost 100 years now, living elsewhere lacks that certain je ne sais quoi 92: Got a peircing: Never! maybe in the future tho... 96: Changed a diaper: also never! didn’t have any siblings or a close connected family growing up so I never had to. When I’m a dad, I’m sure I will though 100: Cried in front of someone: Oh jeez, not really sure. Maybe a few months ago, but I can’t recall what for 104: The future: Its filled with infinite possibilities, I just have to work for a future I want. I’m not too worried about stability, but you never know. Always try to have contingency plans for your contingency plans.  108: Designer Clothes: Generally overpriced trash. I’d rather buy from a local artisan that makes clothes specifically for me. Not like I don’t shop for clothes or like looking good, but theres a lot of issues in the fashion industry that I take umbrage with and like to look for alternatives.  112: Facebook: Boomerbook is convenient website that I use on occasion but I find to be fairly toxic, like most social media, so i rarely post on it. I just use the messenger app to talk with friends. 116: Reality TV: Utter trash! There are a billion other ways to spend your time that are more productive and beneficial to yourself and others that getting caught up in some fake drama with celebrities.  120: Gay Marriage: I don’t believe any kind of marriage should be regulated by the government, as its a religious sacrament. If churches want to allow it, that’s their prerogative that I won’t infringe on, but that’s in an ideal world. As it stands, I don’t have any strong feels for or against it, insofar that I think most marriages are fairly toxic.  124: Disney or Six Flags: Didney Worl 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I’ll take both, thanks 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Whomst’d’ve?  136: Hillary or Obama: Both are genuinely terrible people like most, if not all, government officials in Washington.  140: Mac or PC: I built my own PC but iPads do be kinda fresh tho I can see why people who don’t have the same hobbies or interests prefer macs, their visual design blows most PCs out of the water, and they’re functional for work and video editing. They’re obviously overpriced for the performance, but you’re buying it for the label and the well designed UI (generally, theres obviously some UI designs that are/were less than great by apple) 144: Oranges or Apples: While I like oranges, I FUCKING LOVE apples. So yeah, apples, particularly Fuji apples.  148: Summer or winter: Winter. I live in Los Angeles. Our winters are mild and maybe drizzley. Our summers are hellish. Easy choice. 152: Phone or Online: Uh I mean I like talking on the phone but texting or instant messaging is super convenient and, really, a very different form of communication that I engage in more.  156: Orbs: Do i believe in orbs? What kind of orbs? idk dude this is very nondescript and im too lazy to research this. Orbs as a geometric object do exist yes. Jury is still out on whatever the fuck this is asking tho 160: Soul mates: A distinct possibility that I’d love to be true 164: Heaven: I’m catholic, pretty sure I have to believe in it.  168: Luck: Yeah, I believe in it, but I also believe we make our own luck most times. 172: Are you taller than your mom? yeah shes like 5′2  176: Last YouTube video watched: Sure hope you like smooth japanese jazz fusion  https://youtu.be/6GEI3PpXEAo 180: Marriage is: A great responsibility I hope to be ready for one day. It can be incredible and life-affirming or it can be soul crushing if you rush into things or just have a bad partner. I don’t mean to be cynical, I genuinely believe its a beautiful thing, but so many marriages today end up horribly, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of it at the same time.  184: Xbox or ps3: Whichever game console can give me a better user experience with better games and services. Right now that’s playstation, but I sincerely hope microsoft steps up to the plate next gen.  188: My bed is: A queen. Kinda messy rn.  192: I am allergic to: Nothing in particular 196: My eye color is: Green! I’m actually pretty proud of them, its the rarest eye color in the world, so its part of what makes me who I am.  200: My crush’s name is:  Jaz (no homo)  But also I’m not single so I don’t necessarily have any rn

PS: I sincerely apologize for this wall of text y’all 

[j4nn4s]

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?

hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)

2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?

tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO

3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?

ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons 

4. Your least favourite part of every season?

season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild

season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??

season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin

season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me

5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?

tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)

6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?

OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste

7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?

OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??

8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?

IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season 

but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok 

personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)

also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too

PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj

9. What did you learn from the show?

omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)

10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?

omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom

11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?

tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it

Questions:

1. Favorite quote of the show?

2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?

3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?

4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?

5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?

6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?

7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?

8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?

9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?

10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)

11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?

I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)

[ursae-minoris-world]

25 sheith moments

This is a collection of 25 drabbles (of exactly 100 words each) I did for @sheithfest, each using one of the prompts suggested for day3.

You can read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19432342

There's a little game going on that the 3 most popular drabbles will either get expanded as ficlets or get an illustration. :)

Here's the thread on twitter: https://twitter.com/UrsaeMinoris2/status/1144886396106301440 People can vote for their favorite drabbles by liking, commenting, or re-tweeting them.

It is also possible to vote on tumblr by reblogging and commenting with the numbers/prompts of your favorites drabbles, or on AO3 in the comments.

Votes should be open for the first week of july, I think. I'll edit here when they close.

---

1- Pride

What Shiro felt when Keith came back looking so grown up and strong and confident should have been pride, shouldn’t it? Pride that the young cadet he had taken under his wing earlier had grown to his full potential, not only an amazing pilot, but also a strong leader. You just needed to look at how the team was eagerly listening to his explanations and discussing his plans to see it. And Shiro was proud, of course he was.

What he hadn’t expected was to stumble on his words like an idiot because he found his best friend so hot.

2- Meet again

Keith would have hugged Shiro if the situation wasn’t so dire. But they have to stop Lotor first. No time to get emotional. Even if he has missed Shiro immensely.

It seems to be always like that with Shiro and him. They keep being torn apart, but they always find each other again. He remembers saving Shiro after his disappearance in the Kerberos mission; and their reunion when he had been missing after the fight against Zarkon. And now, after Keith was stuck in the Quantum Abyss.

He knows he will always find Shiro. As many times as it takes.

3- Long hair Shiro

When Keith helped him out of the galra ship, Shiro felt weirdly self-conscious. His hair was too long and greasy; he would have needed a shave; his skin was sticky and his own stench made him uncomfortable. That didn’t seem to bother Keith as much as it should have; he didn’t shy away from holding Shiro close.

“Don’t look at me...” he muttered, his parched tongue making the words indistinct. Keith said something, and the rest of the team cleared the room. Coran left last, after insisting that Shiro was too starved for the pods. Only Keith stayed with him.

4- Distance

3 billion miles. The current distance between the Earth and Kerberos. Keith thought about that number often, while watching the stars in the clear sky of the desert. He wished this was a distance he could cover with his hoverbike. He knew Shiro was out there, possibly in danger. He refused to believe he was dead.

After being kicked out of the Garrison, his last chance to go to space seemed to have vanished. Sometimes he thought of stealing a spacecraft from the Garrison; he knew that even if he managed to pull it off, he wouldn’t go far alone.

5- Sunset / sunrises

Shiro was clutching his side, which was both burning and feeling numb, a strange sensation. He felt his consciousness slip away, and he knew he wouldn’t survive for long on that desert planet; not hurt like he was. He could only hope Keith would outlive him long enough for the rest of the team to rescue him. The young paladin was resourceful and resilient, so Shiro trusted him to survive. He would be a great leader, and Shiro’s only regret was to not being able to witness it.

It seemed like a fitting end, watching the sunset alone with Keith.

6- Monsters & Mana

“Thanks for saving me again”, said Jiro.

“Always”, answered Thunderstorm Darkness. “You have done the same for me.”

“Of course I did.” answered Jiro, softly. They shared a long hug.

“Pleaaase stop flirting with your characters.” complained Pidge.

“Wha… what? They’re not flirting!” protested Keith.

“They’re just friends.” added Shiro nervously. “They help each other.”

“Sure, like you and Keith are just friends, I guess” replied Pidge, the sarcasm in her voice thick enough to cut with a knife.

“Well, yeah.” replied Keith, tone deaf as always for that kind of things.

Hunk grunted. Coran let out a long sigh.

7- Drunk dialing / wrong number

“I missed you, Shiro. I’m glad to be back.” admitted Keith.

“Keith, please don’t use the Atlas’ general hailing frequency for personal communication.”

It was Veronica, not Shiro, on the screen. Despite her formal tone, he could see her grin. Behind her, Acxa was rolling her eyes, Curtis was blushing, and Iverson was looking purposefully away.

“Good to have you back, Keith” answered Shiro warmly, undisturbed by his crew.

Keith didn’t get it either. What he had said wasn’t that bad, after all.

“It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it”, Hunk had once tried to explain.

8- Battle / fight

Seeing Keith getting beaten up during the first part of the trials had been hard enough. Shiro had ground his teeth and held back for Keith's sake. This was Keith's choice, and Shiro didn't want to stand in his way. It still felt like dying inside watching his friend get hurt.

Seeing Keith unconscious on the ground while Shiro's image was used against him had been too far. Now they were using Keith's trauma about his parents, and that was unacceptable. Even Red was furious. Shiro would fight the entire Blade of Marmora to get Keith out of their claws.

9-Pining / Mutual pining

“I think... I always loved him. From the beginning,“ admitted Keith, thoughtfully. “At the time, I didn't really understand it, but...” He trailed off.

“Maybe you should tell him?” suggested Romelle.

Keith let out a breathless laugh. “No. He doesn't see me like that.”

“Hu. Are you sure?” replied Romelle, dubiously.

---

“I know I shouldn't see him that way”, Shiro tried to explain to Matt. “To him, I'm some kind of big brother, he trusts me. If he knew what I feel for him, it would ruin our friendship.”

“Are you serious?!” growled Matt, slamming his beer on the bar.

10-Denial

“Sooo… how was your date?” Pidge's carefully casual tone was a trap.

Shiro realized he was still holding Keith's hand and swiftly let it go. “P...Pidge! It wasn't a date.”

“Yeeaaah, right. So what were you doing?” It was going to be difficult to get out of this discussion if Hunk paired up with Pidge. It didn't help that Keith was leaving all the defense to Shiro, arms crossed and expression sulky.

“We. Were looking for resources.”

“Did you find any?” Hunk retorted.

“Not really.”

“Maybe you'd find more in daylight.” insinuated Pidge. “But I'm sure the stars were pretty.”

11- Cooking

One night, at the Garrison, Keith noticed a burning smell in the air. He hurried down the corridor. Dark clouds of smoke were crowding under the ceiling, and Keith’s heart jumped in his throat.

He teared a fire extinguisher off the wall and sprinted in direction of the kitchen, where the smoke was coming from.

Inside, the smoke was so dense you could hardly see; his eyes were watering and he started to cough.

“I’m so sorry!” exclaimed Shiro as he opened a window. “I was trying to make mac-and-cheese”.  In the sink, a blackened plate was all that remained.

12- Confessions

Seeing Keith in his hospital bed was jarring. He was uncharacteristically quiet in his sleep. On his pale cheek, the scar stood out blatantly.

Keith suddenly became agitated. Shiro was starting to worry, but Keith opened his eyes, saw him, and calmed instantly.

“Shiro...”

“Keith… I’m sorry.”

Keith blinked, confused. “For what?”

Shiro hesitated. He brushed Keith’s scar. “For hurting you.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Keith frowned. “You remember what I told you?”

“That I was your brother.”

Keith scoffed. “That I love you. Not really...as a brother.”

“I love you too.” replied Shiro, before realizing what he was saying.

13- Astral Plane

Time didn’t really exist, on the astral plane. Shiro didn’t know how long he had been there. Both dead, and existing here, in this strange place. Sometimes, he felt himself dissolve in the lion’s consciousness, aside from when he was in contact with the team. When the team formed Voltron, or when they had called out to him, he felt more solid. He felt the most like he was existing when Keith was piloting Black, of course. He tried so many times to reach out to Keith.

When Keith finally joined him on the astral plane, Shiro felt alive again.

14- Soulmates

Black was the only one to know Shiro and Keith had held hands in the astral plane. The only one, because they had not realized it. And they had no idea of the implications, either. Of two souls touching, directly. Not in a fight, but out of love. The way Keith had so easily reached the astral plane through his connection with Shiro. The way Shiro had been able to materialize enough to put his hand on his shoulder. How they had held hands afterward. Black already knew they were soulmates. But how could they still be unaware of it?

15- Festivities

When the war ended, there were festivities for weeks all through the universe. Keith could understand this. But in big cities, it implied lots of excited people in the streets. Too bad that, for diplomatic reasons, they often ended up in big cities. And the team always wanted to enjoy the festivities once the formalities were over.

And now, he had lost Shiro. They were walking together, and suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore.

Shiro came back, holding two pastries. Keith let out a relieved sigh. “I hate crowds.” he grumbled.

“Should we go home?”

“No. It’s fine if you’re here.”

16- Overworked

“I thought that meeting would never end,” confessed Shiro.

Keith sighed. “Yeah. And I still have paperwork due tomorrow...”

“I know, me too...” Shiro checked Matt’s last message on his phone. “You know what? The team is chilling in the rec. room, we could join them and work there.”

“We won’t get any work done.”

“We could give it a try!”

“Fine”

–

“Told you we wouldn’t work!”

“Well, it’s late, but let’s try to get it done now!”

–

“Are… Are those the Captain of the Atlas and the Leader of Voltron cuddling on the couch?”

“Shhh. Don’t wake them up.”

17- Waking up together

When waking up, Shiro was startled to find arms around him; he was lost for a moment, before recognizing Keith. He remembered his nightmares, and how Keith had heard his panic from his  room -the Castle’s walls were not exactly soundproof. Keith had come and helped Shiro calm down. They must have fallen asleep together.

Keith was still sleeping, snoring softly. Shiro brushed his dark hair away from his forehead. Keith moved slightly, but didn’t wake up. Shiro smiled. He still marveled that, after all that happened, he had Keith at his side again, even so far away from home.

18- Folklore, myths & legends

Do you know the legend of Voltron?

Of course you do. The Robot that freed the Universe.

But, do you know about it’s pilots? No? Let me tell you of two of them, then. Let me tell the tale of the Black Paladins, who both piloted the Black Lion, head of Voltron. Let me tell you about their love, that was stronger than death itself. Let me tell you about how fate tried over and over to separate them, and how they always found each other again. Let me tell you how their love saved us. Gather around, and listen.

19- Fist dates / blind dates

It was the early hours of the morning, and most of the wedding guests had gone. Only their closest friends remained – the paladins, Matt, Romelle… They were watching the sunrise together, quietly sipping the fresh juices a waiter had brought them. Keith was a little hungover, but the headache didn’t matter: he was greeting the morning with his husband.

“What I always wondered was… when did you two start dating?” asked Lance.

“After the war” said Keith.

“No, we already dated on Clear Day, remember?” replied Shiro.

“That was a date?”

“I’m pretty sure you were dating before” stated Allura.

20- Shenanigans with Kosmo

Kosmo was was really good at guessing Keith’s moods. And he had his own ways of helping him out when his spirits were not so high. Frequently, it involved Shiro.

–

“Hi Keith!” said Shiro when a grumpy, half asleep Keith was teleported in the training room.

“Hi Keith!” said Shiro when an exhausted, sweaty Keith in training gear was teleported in the middle of a Garrison meeting.

“Hi Keith” said Shiro when a brooding Keith was teleported beside him on the couch.

“Goodnight, Keith”, whispered Shiro when a fast asleep Keith still in his uniform was teleported into their bed.

21- fix-it

“Be with the ones you love”, Shiro had advised. And Keith had panicked. He had hugged his mom, and had hidden in the desert. Well, if you can “hide” on top of a giant mechanical lion.

Shiro was busy with Garrison business, and Keith didn’t want to bother him. They still hadn’t  talked about what had happened at the clone facility, and he wasn’t sure if Shiro had understood what Keith really meant- or even if he remembered.

Keith’s heart jumped when he heard a hoverbike approaching.

“You’re here”, he whispered when Shiro joined him.

“Of course” answered Shiro softly.

22-seasonal

“What's that?”

“Takoyaki. Just try it.”

Shiro scoffed when Keith's eyes widened in surprise while tasting the food; he hastily went for more. It didn't help that he looked ridiculously cute in a yukata; Shiro was glad he had convinced him to wear one. “I knew you'd like this.”

They walked in silence for a moment.

“Did you… enjoy these summer festivals when you lived here?” wondered Keith.

“Yes, I loved them! My Granddad always took me. Good memories.” Keith nodded. Shiro continued. “Thank you for coming. It's good to make new memories with you.”

“Thank you for inviting me.”

23- canon alternate reality

When Sven opened his eyes, he recognized the space hospital. Slav was curled up, asleep on a nearby chair. In the other chair was…

“Sven!” exclaimed Akira. His desperate tone as well as the worried curve of his brow made guilt  tighten Sven’s throat. “I came as soon as I heard!”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine!” Sven exclaimed.

“No, you’re not! You’ve been shot!”

“I had to protect Lance!”

Akira blinked, and looked even more concerned. “Lance wasn’t with you.”

“Not this Lance.” He chuckled at Akira’s puzzled expression. “You wouldn’t believe what happened to us.”

“Well, you’d better tell me.”

24-Monsters

Waking up after a transformation was always painful and scary; even more so for Keith when he found himself lying on dry leaves in the forest rather than in the basement where he usually secured himself for the full moon. But Shiro being there too… that had to be the worst ever.

Despite the horror of Shiro knowing the truth about him, Keith’s first reflex was to hide as much as he could in the cover he was rolled in -before realizing that Shiro had to be the one who wrapped his naked body in it in the first place.

25-Rockband AU

The group had been less than enthusiastic about taking Keith in as a second guitarist, but Shiro was convinced of Keith’s talent, and he had been right. The young punk was a diamond in the raw, and since he joined the group, their popularity was off the charts.

He didn’t get along that well with the others, but they could work on that. Lance might complain about Keith being a show-off, but the public did love his solos. And Allura could keep accusing Shiro of being biased towards Keith… they still had found the new sound they were searching for.

[rat-apologist]

A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it  more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.  

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

[fairstarlights]

Peanut-butter

Summary: Based off of this OTP Prompt

Pairings: Analogical (Peanut-butter/Jelly)

Chapter Word Count: Enough.

Genre: Romance/Fluff

General Story Warning: None! Unless you count a really minor flip out and kissing?

Notes: Romance. Just. Yeah. All my fics are sad. I need a happy one.

Dating sites weren't Virgil's thing but Roman had hounded him for months about Valentines Day and how he needed a date. It was still a month away and not nearly enough time to find someone. Finally, Virgil caved and with some online searching he found a free dating site and signed up. Without telling Roman. If that guy ever found out he had one, he'd never hear the end of it and would probably be subjected to a Roman-ized version of twenty questions. 

Which would be twenty billion questions until he temporarily blocked him on his phone. Some how Roman always found a way around that and it was infuriating. Virgil dipped his spoon into the peanut butter, swished it around then stuck it into his mouth.

Virgil stared at his profile for few minutes and seriously considered deleting it. One thing, he would be interacting with total strangers. Stranger danger. He didn't know any of these people. They could be serial killers or rapists or- something. Virgil didn't really want to think too much about it. Two, there was the 'About me' profile. He had done his best to fill it out, without giving too much away. Both for conversation purposes and for not wanting people to know how weird he was before they even started talking. Three, he probably wasn't going to message anyone, ever. How do you even start a conversation of a dating site? It was all just ridiculous and a waste of time.

 Virgil furiously stabbed at the peanut-butter with his spoon, scooping out a spoonful and shoving it into his mouth. He then grabbed his phone off his desk, opened up the tumblr app and mindless began scrolling.

It day two when a 'pop' sound was heard from Virgil's laptop. Said boy was sitting on the couch and reading one of his poetry books when he heard it. It wasn't a familiar sound so, as curious as he was, he  stood up, grabbed his peanut-butter jar, and walked over. He ran a finger over the track pad and the screen came to life. He pulled up the minimized Chrome browser. The dating site was still open and noticed a (1) over the envelope at the top of the screen. Virgil's heart sped up a bit as he scrolled up and clicked it, as he waited for it to load he scooped up some peanut-butter, but this time keeping a hold on the spoon.

The message appeared and displayed the username the message.

[IntellectuallySuperior] at 2:03pm 6/21/18

Salutations,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Logan. I have read over your profile and it strikes me as peculiar but also quite interesting. I see that we both have the same love for poetry. Although, yours seem to be more on the morose side, I think we could both find a neutral ground in the poetry department. I know some of our interests conflict, but upon further reading we also have a multitude that we share. If you would like to discuss, feel free to message me back at your convenience.

- Logan

Virgil stared at the message in disbelief. Was this for real? This guy talked like he was emailing a college professor. Virgil scrolled up and clicked on the guy's name. His profile appeared and Virgil let out a snort. This guy looked like he screamed, 'Oh, you want the manager? Sure, I'll go get him.' He would do a turn around and say 'Hello, how may I be of service?' In all of his pictures he was his dark brown hair was nearly completely slicked back, he wore black thick rimmed glasses, with a black or blue polo and a different assortment of ties. His facial expressions seemed strained, like he didn't know to smile for a picture. It looked painful.

Virgil scrolled through the rest of Logan's profile and learned he was in grad school earning his doctorate in medicine. He liked poetry. Virgil hmm'd. He wondered if he wondered liked Slam Poetry.  More things included, writing, reading, cooking, puzzles,and several other things that Virgil didn't know what they were without googling it. Under his 'Profession' he had written 'Tutor'. Huh, interesting. Virgil licked his lips and tasted peanut-butter, he took another bite as he read his 'About me'. It was arrogant and he seemed quite full of himself, he chose his username quite well.

Virgil clicked back the messages and clicked reply. They didn't seem very likely to date or anything but if anything, they could humor each other for a while. Virgil moved the spoon around in his mouth and it make clanking sounds as it hit his teeth. What was he even going to say?  

[OrchestratorofHumanSuffering]

replying to

[IntellectuallySuperior] at 2:26pm 6/21/18

Sup, Logan. I'm Virgil. Sorry you didn't like my type of poetry, maybe you could share some of yours and I could share some of mine, the less 'morose' ones. Do you like to listen to Slam Poetry? I could give you a couple YouTube links to a few of my favorites. If I know what kind of poetry you prefer I could find some slams that might be more your style. Anyway, let me know or whatever.

- I guess.

The sent button was clicked and Virgil leaned back in his chair, pulling the now clean spoon out of his mouth with a 'pop'. This probably wouldn't last long.

It was a week before Valentines Day and Logan had asked Virgil out on a coffee date over the phone. The conversations on the site escalated so quickly it made Virgil nervous but an excited kind of nervous. Of course there was those nagging thoughts and feelings that told him to run away cause this was all just a set up. Why would Logan, an insanely attractive, and intelligent grad student want to be with him of all people? 

Virgil wasn't always the most pleasant to be around. He snarked, was rude and snappy, had so many walls built up that not even the bravest or talented of devolishish people would attempt to break down. Virgil wasn't that attractive, he wasn't too cheerful or bright. He tended to look on the negative a lot. His posture was bad and rarely looked at people in the eyes because he was shy.

Logan must have seen something in him that Virgil didn't. Or, his glasses were expired and they needed updated immediately. Though, he wouldn't mind if either of those things. Logan could be quite difficult to talk to but he acted like he really cared. He hadn't seen Virgil go through any anxiety or panic attacks yet, he hoped he never would, but if that day did come...he hoped Logan would still stick around anyway.

Virgil was already in the coffee shop, seated. He hadn't ordered yet, figuring it would be polite to wait. He did go up and ask for a plastic spoon and a small plastic cup of peanut-butter. He nibbled on that as he waited, watching the clock. Logan said to meet at 3pm. Three more minutes. The door chime rang and Virgil turned his head and then immediately turned back around. It as Logan and he looked more gorgeous in person. Virgil swallowed the last bit of peanut-butter in his throat but it felt like glue and, oh god, why did it have to turn to glue.

“Virgil?” Logan said, his voice right next to him. Said boy accidentally knocked his plastic cup to the floor with his elbow and stood up fast. Logan blinked in surprise and Virgil immediately felt like an idiot. He swallowed and coughed a few times.

“Uh...” Nice. “Hey, Logan.”

“Hello, Virgil. I didn't expect you to be here so soon. Have you been waiting long?”

“No, not really. I probably came about ten minutes ago.” Logan raised an eyebrow but didn't anything. Oh my god. You're meeting the most gorgeous man in the world and you look like some desperate idiot. Virgil stuck his thumb in the direction of the register. “Lets order us some coffee?” Logan nodded and motioned for Virgil to lead.

Once up to the register Virgil desperately wished he had a spoonful of peanut-butter to help him relax. “You seem a bit tense. Are you nervous?” Logan, who was standing beside of him, asked with a concerned look. Fuck yeah he was always nervous. Every god damn day, and right now he needed a heaping spoonful of peanut-butter stat.

“A bit. I'll be fine though.” He gave Logan a small reassuring smile and Logan's face looked like it went on a 404 screen. Virgil's smile faded and the line moved, it was their turn. “Logan.” He touched the others arm and shook it. Logan blinked and his face turned red as he seemed to have realized he was staring. He cleared his throat and moved up.

“You can order first.” He prompted. Virgil shrugged and ordered a plain black coffee. He went to reach for his wallet but Logan stopped him. “No, I invited you. I will be the one paying.” Logan ordered a decaff coffee with double cream. Logan paid, their drinks were handed to them and they went back to the table Virgil had been sitting at earlier.

The conversation went better than expected. Logan talked about the many Slam Poets he found on YouTube and had memorized quite a few. Logan eventually pulled out a poetry book, just one of their shared favorites, “Pictures of the gone world” by Ferlinghetti. They took turns reading and Virgil all but long forgot about his peanut-butter. It turned into chit chat, then into more of their daily lives and expanding on their interest. Soon it was nearing six and Logan had to leave to leave to study for a test he had on Monday.

They exited the coffee shop and they both looked at each other. Virgil's eyes glanced shyly away and he shoved his hands into his jean pockets, “I had fun, today. Thanks, Logan. And thanks for the coffee.”

“I had fun as well. I expected nothing less, honestly.” Virgil looked over at Logan, who had a small smile on his lips. It quickly fade and his face flushed a bit. “I do, however, do not know how dates end. In movies I have watched, they normally kiss.” Virgil's eyebrows shot up and he could feel his face turning redder than Roman’s Christmas sweaters. Logan looked at him, “Do you mind? I don't want to be presumptuous and make you uncomfortable. I wouldn't do anything without your clear consent.”

Virgil licked his lips and could still taste the peanut-butter, that was somewhat comforting. Though if he could reach inside and scoop some out with his hands and shoved it into his mouth, he would. That would be embarrassing though and he would have to kill himself after pulling a stunt in front of Logan like that.

“Is that a no?” Virgil's heart pounded in his chest.

“No- I mean- yes- no! I mean-ugh! Yes, you can kiss me.” He whispered the last half. Logan looked amused and took a few steps forward. He leaned down and was inches away from Virgil's lips but stopped and pulled back. Virgil blinked,  “What? Change your mind?”

“No. No, I do want to kiss you.” Logan looked confused, and was staring at Virgil like he was some sort of puzzle.

“Then why didn't you?”

“Why do you smell like peanut-butter? I don't recall you eating peanut-butter.” Virgil rubbed under his nose nervously and looked away.

“I had some before you showed up?”

“I see. Well, I know you didn't know, but I am severely allergic to peanuts.” Virgil's eye's widened as he looked at Logan in shock and he put his hands over his mouth.

“I'm so sorry! I-”

“It's fine, Virgil. I didn't tell you so you couldn't have known. That was...” Logan paused, adjusting his glasses, “...an error on my part.”

Virgil uncovered his mouth and bit his lip nervously. “Okay. Well, next time, I'll be prepared.” Virgil quickly backtracked, “If you want there to be a next time.” Logan let out a small laugh though his nose.

“Yes. I do.” Perfect. Opportunity opened. Time to strike.

“I do have a...” Virgil tried for a better word. “...proposition.” Logan looked curious. That might not have been the right word to use. Best to use your own vocabulary. Now he had to make sure that the word he used made sense. Virgil stared at Logan for a few beats before Logan's face went from curious to concerned.

“Is everything alright?”

“Ah, okay, I used the wrong word! I messed up!” Virgil looked away in embarrassment and it took Logan a second before giving Virgil an highly amused look.

“That is fine, Virgil. Express whatever you say in your own words.”

Virgil sighed and looked back at Logan, who still looked amused. “My friends are having this party on Valentines Day and I was wondering if you wanted to, ya know, go with me.” Virgil shrugged and looked down as he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie.

“I think that would be a great idea, I would love to meet your friends. I also never have celebrated Valentines Day. I see it as some unneeded marketing tool and some pointless 'holiday' to celebrate the people that you love, when you should be doing that every day anyway.” Logan blinked, realizing he was rambling and looked at Virgil, who was grinning.

“I like you.”

It was the day of the Valentines Day party and Virgil had invited Logan over to his apartment to stay for a few hours till it was time to leave. Of course, Virgil was nervous and had cleaned the apartment so well that he didn't think it had been even been this clean when he first moved in. He should take pictures and show his landlord and have HER pay HIM for once. There was a knock on the door and Virgil looked at the clock, the party started at six and he told Logan to be by at four. It was exactly four. What a nerd. Virgil couldn't help the grin that spread over his face as he rushed over to the door, he tried to compose his face into at least a regular smile.

“Good afternoon, Virgil.”

“Logan.” Logan walked in and looked around, but staying in once spot.

“It quite pleasant.” Virgil rolled his eyes and shut the door.

“Yeah. It's nice. Hopefully, one day I'll be able to own a house.”

“That would be ideal.” Virgil hmm'd in response and grabbed a bag of chocolates off the coffee table in the living room.

“Hey, Specs, catch.”

“Specs-?” Logan barely had time to respond as a piece of chocolate candy was coming towards his face. He ducked and hit the wall behind him. Virgil laughed and popped one his mouth.

“Nice.”  Logan looked up at Virgil with a frown.

“A warning would be 'nice'.”

“I did. I told you to catch.”

“A better warning next time. Also, why did you call me 'specs'?”

Virgil tapped his temple and with his free hand, “Glasses.” Logan looked unamused. “Lets try again. Do I need to count to three this time?” Virgil tried to bite back a smile as Logan gave him a 'are you serious' look. Virgil shrugged and threw the candy. Logan caught it and looked down at it. It was a Hershey kiss. Logan raised an eyebrow and walked towards Virgil as he fiddled with it.

“I have an idea.” Virgil made a questioning noise in response but wasn't paying attention to Logan. He turned back to Logan who was almost completely up in his space. Virgil nearly jumped out of his skin and his heart began to race. No, no, not now. He willed himself to calm down and surely enough, he did. Logan looked serious, he usually did but there was something in his eyes. Something playful? Mischievous?

“How about we...retry our parting attempt from last time?” Virgil licked his lips and nodded. Logan looked mildly nervous for a second before he unwrapped the kiss and stuck it between his lips. Virgil looked confused and Logan waved a hand in front of his face, as if telling him to go just go with it. Logan took a deep breath, cupped Virgil's face with both of his hands and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was now shared between them and it was sweet and Logan tasted a bit like cinnamon tea. The kiss was melting the longer their lips stayed together. Virgil licked the inside involuntarily, also brushing Logan's and making the man shiver and pull away, a small thin string of saliva following then breaking apart.

“Gross.” Logan deadpanned.

“The kiss or the kiss saliva?” Virgil laughed. Logan rolled his eyes and licked his lips then opened his mouth to say something then froze.

“You had peanut-butter.”

“What?”

“I can taste it.” There was a bit of panic rising in Logan's voice.

“Logan, calm down it's not-”

“I need to get to the hospital. Of all day's I didn't bring my pen!” Logan looked as frantic as he sounded as he tore out his cell from his pocket. Virgil reached over and took it from his hands. Logan looked dumbfounded then furious, “What do you think you are doing?!”

“Trying to explain to you that you aren't dying!” Virgil said in a frustrated tone. Logan opened his mouth but Virgil held up a hand. He walked into the kitchen, opened up a cabinet, walked back into the room and shoved the jar into Logan's hands. Logan looked down at it and then tilted it so he could read the label.

“SunButter...?”

“Yeah...” Virgil traced the outside of Logan's phone with fingers, “its a peanut-butter alternative. Its organic or some shit. It's nut free and healthy is what I'm saying.” Virgil looked up. “So, are you done freaking out?” Logan stared at Virgil blankly. Virgil curled in on himself reflexively, “What?”

“You gave up eating regular peanut-butter for me?”

Virgil averted his eyes then they went back to Logan, he shrugged, “I need to eat something healthier anyway. I tastes better too, honestly.” 

Logan put the jar down, walked over to Virgil and pushed their lips together and wrapped his arms wrapped around Virgil's waist. Virgil melted into it and the phone dropped onto carpet as he slowly and carefully, put his arms around the back of Logan's neck. Who knew peanut-butter could taste this good.

[rose-of-pollux]

Quiz thing

Tagged by @belphegor1982​

When did you last sing to yourself?

This morning, and it was Queen’s “I Want it All.”

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

“What are my finches actually saying about me?”

Rest under the cut--

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Getting my master’s degree in biology/my thesis project on finch learning.

What is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Traveling in New York City with @ksturf​, seeing Anastasia on Broadway and catching 100 Unowns.

Do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Not really.  I want to publish a thing, though.

Do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I think so!

When did you last cry in front of another person?

Ummm... I honestly don’t remember.

Pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them

...Does the person have to be living?  My answer depends on that. XD

Would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

No, but it’s been my experience that strangers like opening up to me for some reason. *shrug emoji*

When was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

Back when I was doing my master’s, my procrastination habit had come back to bite me hard, and I had left a first draft of a term paper on crocodilian behavior til the night before it was due.  It was @ksturf​ who got to hear me screeching into the void at 3AM as I got the thing done (time zone differences made it not as bad for her).  That is the last time I ever stayed up that late.

(The kicker to this is that 1. I was one of two people who turned the first draft in on time, and 2. My professor said that it was “Such a wonderful first draft and very clear that I spent so much time and effort on it” that I didn’t need to revise it and would get an A on it.  Lesson learned: it’s easy to bluff your way through a term paper--even at 3AM--if it’s something that genuinely interests you)

What is your opinion on brown eyes?

...I love them.  And I would say that even if I didn’t have them myself--because ^he does.

Pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally

"...I’ve enjoyed a lifetime of adventures around the world...” -- Robert Vaughn.

Honestly, it means so much to me--he lived such a full and fulfilling life, and if I even accomplish a fraction of the things he was able to do, that will be time well-spent.

What would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

The Life and Times of a Scatterbrained Writer

What would you do with one billion dollars?

Keep/save enough to live comfortably (maybe slightly frivolously--gotta have my Nintendo games and fandom merch), make sure my best friend also lives comfortably, some for my family, and give whatever we don’t need to those who do.

Are you a very forgiving person?  Do you like being this way?

Hahahaha... No, but I am very good at hiding it.  Should I be better?  Yeah.  Will I?  *shrugs*  Who knows...

Would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Pastel, I guess?

How do you feel about tattoos and piercings?  Explain

Tattoos aren’t for me, nor are piercings other than ears.  And I have such a low pain tolerance that I probably wouldn’t have gotten my ears pierced if my mother hadn’t had it done when I was a toddler (my mother was a traditionally-raised Hindu who had only emigrated to the States from India a few years prior, and toddlers getting their ears pierced is a tradition going back literally thousands of years; getting a nose piercing as a mark of adulthood is also a tradition going back thousands of years, but my response to that was a firm #NOPE, and that was the end of the conversation).

Do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Nooooooo, I hate it, I hate the way it feels on my face.

Talk about a song/band/musician/lyric that has affected your life in some way

So, Rockapella, Genesis, and Queen are three bands that I’ve known since childhood--in the case of Queen, I didn’t know it was them until I was much older (“We Will Rock You” was my hometown’s unofficial fight song for sporting events, so I’ve heard that song since elementary school--usually coupled with “We are the Champions”), and even then remained a casual fan until I watched Bohemian Rhapsody last year and just went headlong into loving them.  Freddie Mercury was an absolute legend, and finding out that he had ties to India like I did was an absolute thrill.

Rockapella were my first music loves--saw them on the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego game show, rediscovered them years later, and never left them again.  I’ve conversed with two of the Carmen-era members online, and met two others in person.

Genesis has been my musical fixed point, along with Bryan Adams.  I’ve just constantly been listening to them throughout my life.

The Monkees brought me to tumblr and subsequently led to my meeting people here that I’m still in touch with, even if I’ve drifted away from the fandom.

And Zach Adkins holds a special place for me, as well, seeing him as Dmitry in the Anastasia musical with @ksturf.

List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel

So, I have seen Rockapella in concert 3 times, the Monkees twice, and a solo Nez concert once.

The Nez concert was in 2013, before the more recent... clouds covered the sun, shall we say?  I had a wonderful time at the time, and many good memories, and I feel awful that things have come to this--especially when a good portion of it seems to not be in Nez’s control at all.  It’s a dang shame, but I’ll cherish the memories I have.

The two Monkees concerts were in 2012 and 2014.  The 2012 “Gazpacho tour” was truly a remarkable thing--honestly, I don’t think anyone saw a tour coming after Davy had passed, and suddenly, here it was--and I remember the night before the official announcement, when Nez had teased us and everyone here was going absolutely bonkers over the possibility, before he broke the news before the official announcement.  And then, the concert itself... there was something magical that night, undoubtedly--Micky having us, the audience, sing Davy’s signature song, “Daydream Believer,” saying that it belonged to us now.  It was so sad and wonderful at the same time.  The 2014 tour had a more upbeat and celebratory feel to it, sort of the promise that the daydream was still alive.

The first two Rockapella concerts were before my Carmen Sandiego Renaissance; they just happened to be performing in my hometown twice, so I went to see them because “Oh, these guys!” (though only two of the guys from the Carmen era were actually still with the band).  I had a great time, but it was nothing like the third time, when I went because I had rediscovered how much they’d meant to me (and drove over an hour in a snowstorm to see them.  Abysmally foolish?  Yes.  Do I regret it?  Absolutely not).  The third time was also when I got to meet the two Carmen-era guys (and the new guys) after the concert, which was... more amazing than I can ever describe.

Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I would have loved to have received a reply to the fan letter I had sent Robert Vaughn just two months before he had passed.  Obviously, I learned after the fact that he probably had been too sick to reply, but a reply I would have wanted would have been... just him knowing that he knew how much I admired him, and how much better he had made the world.

Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized?

Hahahahahaha, no.  I’m the most disorganized person in existence.  Any computer stuff I do on the couch.

What is your night time routine?

Dinner, toss around story ideas, make sure the finches are roosting/turn their light off, eventually sneak into bed as quietly as I can so as not to disturb the finches.

What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

How unhealthily I eat some days...

If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

Nooooo, I wouldn’t want to...

Pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

...I don’t do groups well; I’d just pick @ksturf and we’d go back to New York City.  Or maybe Hollywood this time, who knows?  Sightseeing and things--catch some Pokémon, too....

Name three wishes and why you wish for them

I wish:

I had enough money so that I and those I care about could live comfortably (self-explanatory)

That I could understand what birds were saying, and they could understand me (as someone who did a thesis on bird learning and behavior and has been trolled multiple times by multiple birds [including my own], I have personal questions I want answered).

That Robert Vaughn was still here (again... self-explanatory)

What is the best Halloween costume you have ever put together?  If none, make one up

I put together an awesome Carmen Sandiego costume in like... 2011?  Everyone knew exactly who I was.

What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

...There are a lot of things I would never do for a million dollars.

What’s your Starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Dragonfruit refresher with lemonade.  @ksturf is the one I trust.

What is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Well, I just wrapped up my one-year position as a lab tech, so finding where I go from here is pretty much the biggest thing right now...

[mild-lunacy]

The Trouble with Alpha Alien Invaders

I just complained about the proliferation of one romance subgenre I don't even read, so I thought-- why not keep going? I sort of miss Tumblr. Lately I've just been surfing Instagram, and the way I use it is pretty impersonal. Without fandom or an interest-based community, I get pretty lurkery pretty fast. Anyway, even though not much interaction happens here, possibly because I've ceased talking about things anyone cares about, it's nice to express myself. Even though I feel like I talk about pretty lame and obscure, basically pointless things. Not that this is much of a change in my behavior, just more pronounced than before. Anyway, I just wanted to say I think the traditional alien invasion sci-fi story scenarios are lame.

I don't really care if the whole point is this invasion scenario and it's an action movie where the focus is action scenes. Aliens aren't really people in this context. I'm more talking about situations where they *are* people: specifically, when an alien's the love interest, yet their species invade Earth. Partly it's the trope itself that's problematic, but partly it's how so many unskilled romance writers seem to treat it: as if it's just, you know, alpha male behavior taken to its logical extreme. The interpretation is that these are a version of the Vikings, but instead of rape and pillage, let's just call it... forceful seduction? Things get fuzzy when you add in the magical soulmate trope and the attraction is mutual. Anyway, it's like the Vikings, but with fated mates and spaceships.

Not that I have a problem with that, per se. It's the feeling that an invasion is not a deal breaker somehow. A lot of times, these books have the hero just take the heroine to his home planet, where he accommodates her needs and wishes (eventually). But Earth just sort of... folds. First of all, that would never happen, but the idea of alpha maleness here is just annoying to me. Note, I like reading about alpha males, even (or especially) barbarians. I'm speaking as a fan. They can be... somewhat savage, impulsive, and insensitive. But they don't have to be oppressive or repressive... at least in fiction.

Maybe Tumblr isn't the right place to complain about this, after all. I bet a lot of people think that a real alien race full of overbearing alpha males *would* act like raping, pillaging assholes, at least on a cultural level. I personally think a more subtle writer can (and many *have*) separated male dominance and possessiveness-- even including a tendency towards violence-- from outright repression and oppression of women. A lot of alphas (maybe even most) are indeed insensitive and don't listen as well as they could, but they take care of women. They do *eventually* listen, because the women in this primitive world order are actually very powerful in their own way. What's more, their society acknowledges and is organized around that truth, even if the individual man isn't especially aware. Many 'barbarian' alien types are simply a version of simple hunter gatherer type warriors: crude but not cruel. The two are not the same. Cruelty and oppression is not absolutely necessary, even for a race of male beings who enjoy violence and power. At the very least, it's not inevitable, particularly in a romance.

Obviously, looking at human beings, aggression does lead to oppression within and repression of others, historically. However, this isn't necessarily true of our hunter gatherer past, nor of our space age future. The conditions which lead to oppression have to do with scarcity and cultural imbalance. This is solvable with technology, just as it's also solvable in a small enough tribal ecosystem where everyone has an important role and an impact.

I guess what I'm saying is, as a feminist who's also a romance fan, I give a lot of leeway to the genre, particularly with the alpha male archetype. But it's because I know from experience that certain extremes aren't necessary that it bothers me when I see this type of oppressive alpha invader behavior. It's particularly galling when it's implicitly presented in the narrative as being a very dominant and insensitive male thing. Um, no.

One way to deal with it is just not have the aliens invade: problem solved. They can be toppy assholes who just... have better things to do. And honestly, Earth women really aren't worth invading the planet for, by any stretch. There's also plenty of planets out there with natural bounty to pillage, even in this solar system, that are completely undefended and easy to utilize. There's no great reason to invade Earth when it's just one planet among millions, billions of others. This isn't like the Europe of the Vikings: they invaded their neighbors, not China. Without the thinnest veneer of necessity, invasion becomes a pure consequence of alpha behavior, particularly in a romance context. And treating it as such is just offensive, as I said.

Alternatively, the writer can have the alpha male alien culture *want* to invade because that's just how they roll-- subjugating and oppressing left and right-- but something happens to prevent it. This is a classic fictional trope: bad thing could've happened but didn't. Romance novels mixed with genre dystopias are one thing, but usually this doesn't extend to the characters. The *male protagonist* isn't supposed to be part of the dystopia. Duh?

In Anna Carven's books, the alpha aliens are born invaders, but this strains the fabric of the culture as well the empire itself being unsustainable. That's only realistic, reflecting the bare minimum of actual thinking of how sprawling, oppressive empires actually *work* on a cultural level. And believe me, the alpha asshole characters aren't in any way diminished or portrayed as less dominant because the military leader chose to use his brain and realize he'd get more results more easily through at least some attempt at trade and diplomacy. Even with these aliens definitely being a non-diplomatic race, it's pure common sense that if something *can* be acquired peacefully, it's probably more profitable to try that first. There's also many ways to both gain and exercise power, and laying waste to a society with pure force is only the most destructive method. Surely a race of space faring aliens would have other options, ones that would leave more to enjoy of the planet they're acquiring. The use of long-term intelligence and tactics don't make you less alpha. Just ask China.

[the-lichemaster]

all the even numbers

Ok then.

2. Outgoing or ShyShy. I making hate eye contact so much I’m eligible for disability benefits.

4. Are you easy to get along with?I think so, as long as your willing to do all the heavy lifting in the conversation department

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Aggressive brunette women. Or more generally, I like people who have nerdy and weird interests but who aren’t annoying about it and aren’t squares.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Judge Judy

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A homeless guy I met while waiting for the pharmacy to fill my order (he was waiting too). I forget his name, but we talked about waste in capitalism and what our ideal societies would be.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Answered this one earlier

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

No

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No. I imagine she has forgotten all about me.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t talk to them, but they seem fine.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Answered this one already

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Getting drunk

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Curse the day I was born, check email and news on my phone

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I guess my mum, but really it’s a 7 billion way tie with everyone on earth making me uncomfortable

30. Do you ever want to get married? 

Maybe, although I think if I did it would just to make someone else happy.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

No. I used to be really into basketball as a kid.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Oh yeah. Never told any of my crushes really.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Funny, patient, pushes me out of my comfort zone, like horror movies and metal music (or at least is tolerant of them), dark hair, fangs, horns, bat wings

40. What do you want to do after high school? 

I graduated from high school over a decade ago. I wanted to go into Graphic Design, but that didn’t work out (turns out I hated sitting in front of computer all day).

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 

I have nothing to say. I am comfortable in silence.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Ocean. No critters to look at in space.

46. What are you paranoid about?

People secretly not liking me. Getting locked out of my apartment (When leaving I’ll check my pockets for my keys like six times).

48. Have you ever been drunk?

I’m drunk right now

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 

Pretty much everything except my taste in things. Also bigger dick, obviously.

54. Favourite store?

I like used book stores, but I probably go to the liquor store the most.

56. Favourite colour?

Purple

58. Last thing you ate? 

KFC

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Not that I can recall, no.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. Too sneaky.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was in I THINK 6th grade (maybe 7th). Our class was out camping by a lake (the school I went to would send the 5th, 6th, and 7th grades out to a camp for the last week of school). Her name was Laura, and I don’t really remember the context (it might have just been her goofing around). All I remember is it what by an archery range.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Don’t have any real friends, so you guys win by default I guess

68. Twitter or Tumblr? 

I prefer Tumblr but I do have a Twitter, which I mostly use for more political stuff (@jeremyehm if you’re curious). I find Twitter to be really toxic, everyone’s always arguing with each other and being assholes. Plus it’s just an endless cavalcade of bad news.

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Carling Black Label Supreme and Crown Royal

72. What colour are your towels?

Dark grey. This allows spiders to hide in them easily when they are hanging.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Zero.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Blue. The pattern is of a polar bear drinking bear.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 

Strawberry

80. What colour pants? 

Dark blue

82. Favourite movie? 

Alien

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 

Haven’t seen Mean Girls, so 21 Jump Street I guess.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? 

The barracuda who eats Nemo’s mom at the beginning. I don’t watch Pixar movies, I think FInding Nemo was actually the last one I saw.

88. Last person you talked to today? 

The cashier at KFC

90. Name a person you love? 

My mum and dad, I guess

92. In a fight with someone? 

No, and if I got into one I would lose (unless my opponent was like a baby or on crutches or something).

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 

One hoody that I never wear. Should probably give it away to a homeless shelter now that I think about it.

96. Favourite actress?

Edwige Fenech, or Meiko Kaji

98. Do you tan a lot?

I’m part Irish, Danish and English, so I tend to burst into flames when in direct sunlight rather than tan.

100. How are you feeling? 

Not too bad. A bit gassy.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? 

Mostly everything, yeah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 

I don’t think so. I remember towards the end of my senior year there was a girl in my grade who, in retrospect, was hitting on me/trying to hang out with me all the time. I was totally clueless and left her hanging, but I imagine I’m easy to get over.

108. What should you be doing? 

Fuck off, it’s my birthday. I’ll do it tomorrow

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 

Not really no. Crushes are always a little uncomfortable, but since it’s impossible for someone to like me back I can usually just push it to the back of my mind.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Therapist

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

I’ve been down to Seattle and Los Angeles before. Never been to another province of Canada though!

116. Are you listening to music right now? 

Yes (listening to the Misfits). Unless I’m watching a movie or sleeping I’m listening to music.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Love it

120. Are you afraid of the dark? 

No.

122. Is cheating ever okay? 

No

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

No.

126. Are you currently bored? 

A little

128. Would you change your name? 

I think I like my current name fine. Unusual without being weird.

130. Do you like subway? 

The sandwich chain? No, it sucks ass.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 

Hey this is a duplicate question. Nice job, whoever originally posted this.

134. Can you count to one million? 

Yes. I won’t though.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 

Closed.

138. Curly or Straight hair? 

Straight, but I don’t really care.

140. Summer or Winter? 

They kinda suck equally, but I guess there isn’t any snow in Summer, so I’ll go with that.

142. Favourite month? 

I’m going to say April or May. Warm and breezy.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 

Milk, although I don’t really like sweets.

146. Was today a good day? 

It was pretty good, went to the dispensary, bought a pipe that’s shaped like a wizard.

148. What’s your favourite quote? 

Like this statement from the IRA following a botched assassination attempt on Margaret Thatcher and her cabinet: “Today we were unlucky, but remember we only have to be lucky once. You will have to be lucky always”

I also like a quote from a Maoist responding to Kruschev’s comment that while he was the son of a peasant while the Maoist was from the aristocracy: “We have something in common: we are both traitors to our class.”

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

From “The Best Short Stories of J.G. Ballard”: “I’m beginning to realize it was a mistake to put them in there-all those lights blazing down, the huge floors, high walls.”

Whew, that took awhile. Thanks for asking.