#literally can’t help myself

[annmariethrush]

Thinking about the line “Do it doggy style so we can both watch x files” from the sex song The Bad Touch and DeanCas cause ofc

Dean proposing that they have sex while they’re on the couch watching X Files and Cas agrees but goes to turn the tv off and Dean’s like, nah just fuck me from behind and we can keep watching. Cas giving Dean the ‘humans baffle me’ look. Dean retorting with “Look, I know it doesn’t make sense to you cause you have literally all the time in the world but I’ve only got another 40 years in me at best. Not enough time to get all the serial tv shows and carnal pleasure in that I have on my agenda. Besides, I might get dementia and not be able to understand X files if I wait and I know for a fact that my joints are not getting any younger. Now line up lover boy, Scully’s about to see something science can’t explain.”

[yeagrave]

night at the museum!AU bc I can :]

[ bonus sketches below the cut🫶✨ ]

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[ivysoul]

me when i’m the first person to request a lil carlos fic from youuu 😁 here’s what i’m thinking.

carlos is a pussy eating god. literally would stay between your thighs for hours, and he has. reader starts feeling bad, feeling like she doesn’t give him the proper gratitude he deserves for taking care of her all the time. so she’s determined to give him the most toe curling, sheet gripping, life altering head imaginable, not letting up until she feels like he’s had enough.

tl/dr: reader gives carlos the head of his lifetime, practically overstimulating him ^^ (i hope this made sense.)

𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 masterlists

pairings carlos oliveira x fem!reader

summary since the beginning of the relationship, carlos has spent majority of his time in between your thighs, bringing you to the stars. now it’s time to return the favour and increase it tenfold than what you were doing before.

warnings most sheet gripping oral i’ve ever written (m), praise, reader calls carlos good boy like once, overstim, two orgasms. nothin too crazy !! (carlos also calls the reader mama a lot don’t talk abt it i literally can’t stop.) not proof read don’t come for me.

notes me when you me when venus me when when when

“What’s gotten into you?”

It was right of Carlos to be suspicious of you when you all but jumped on him the moment he walked in the door. Your hands ventured across his body, giving his large biceps a few firm squeezes before going to wrap around his neck. And the kisses were passionate (as always), but needy. So incredibly needy.

You were never this visibly antsy, you were always able to tone it down even if all you wanted was Carlos. But he was gone for almost two weeks and you found yourself missing his company and feeling incredibly lonely.

“What, a woman can’t miss her boyfriend now?”

Your fingers looped into the waistband of his pants, but not venturing too low. However Carlos, having spent too fucking long away from you, felt his body react before his brain could catch up. His t-shirt made him feel too hot and clammy and he needed to get it off. Preferably in the bedroom. With you.

“You’re acting like I was gone for such a long time, sweetheart,” even he didn’t believe the words entirely himself, because it was a long time. Any amount of time away from you is a long time to him.

You didn’t respond, figuring your actions would speak for themselves. So, you dragged him by his belt loops to the bedroom and took his clothes off for him one piece at a time.

Carlos smiled down at you but furrowed his eyebrows. “Y’know, I was gonna take a shower. I would assume that’d be more hygienic before we do this.”

You chuckled lightly. “You could roll around in cow shit and I would still wanna fuck you,” he stared at you. “Okay maybe that’s a bit of a stretch but you get the point. A bit of dirt never scared me.”

He rolled his eyes playfully as you pushed him onto the bed, crawling your way over to him. You sat hovered over his half hard cock, reattaching your lips to his and tugging roughly at his hair. The action caused for him to moan into your mouth and squeeze his arms around your body tightly.

Your gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. “Missed you so much, baby,” you pulled away to say, a bit breathless.

“I missed you, too, honey,” he smiled at you lovingly. He’ll never get tired of looking at you. “Want me to make you feel good?”

You almost nodded, too into the routine of him coming back and finding home in between your thighs. But instead, you shook your head, biting your bottom lip in an attempt to hold back a grin from looking at his confused expression.

“Why not?”

“‘Cause it’s your turn.”

Those words alone caused his cock to reach a full erection.

You didn’t give him head often, he always insisted on the fact that your pleasure came before his. Plus, in his eyes, if he got to have sex with you, it was enough. He got most of his pleasure from giving you yours, and he didn’t have a problem with that one bit. But you did, for the most part.

So when you did suck him off, you made sure it always topped the last occasion. This time was no different.

You started placing kisses on his neck, making your way down to his collarbones, leaving little lovebites on his skin. It looked like a trail going from his collarbones to behind his ear and it made you giggle, which in turn made Carlos giggle.

Though his laughing stopped when your brushed your thumb across the tip of his cock. The laugh trailed off into a whine, and it made you smirk.

Your lips are at his v-line now and your free hand is tangling in his happy trail. Your kisses are sloppy and wet, and when you lean back to look at his cock, you audibly moan at the sight.

The tip was an angry red colour and leaking pre-cum. And god, you didn’t even know he could get this hard. “So pretty, baby. Your cock is so, so pretty.”

Carlos didn’t expect you to take his entire length down your throat in one go, but here you were. You gagged when he hit the back of your throat, tears immediately accumulating in your eyes, but you kept going when Carlos let out a throaty moan. The sound made your clit throb.

“Holy fuck,” his voice was strained. You freed his cock from your mouth and trailed your tongue up a prominent vein, circling around his tip when you made it to the end of the vein. You pumped his cock with your hand, relishing in the way he was so needy for your touch.

Then, you ducked up head down and took one of his balls into your mouth, sucking and kissing at it as he groaned. His fingers laced through your hair, trying his best to keep it at light tugs, but he found it harder and harder as time went on. “Shit, mama. So fuckin’ good at this.”

You squeezed around his tip and hummed in appreciation, which of course, only made him whine. Moving to his cock once again, you took him into your warm mouth, hollowing out your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down agonizingly slow.

Carlos tried—he really did—to keep his self control, but every ounce of it was lost to you. His hips suddenly bucked up into your mouth and made you gag, not that either of you were complaining whatsoever.

You sped up your pace now, leaving Carlos a moaning and whining mess. Moans of your name repeatedly leaving his lips. He looked so pretty like this. Hair disheveled, lips swollen and wet from the previous kissing and him biting down on them. The pleasure he was feeling in this moment was intense. He hasn’t felt like this in a while. His head was spinning and his abs were tense. He felt like a fucking teenager with how badly he needed you.

“Mama—‘M so close. Fuck, fuck,” his fingers tangled in your hair and tugged harder than he meant to, but it caused for you to moan around his cock, which sent vibrations of pleasure directly through it. “Uhng! Sh-hit…”

You moved one of your hands from his thigh to his balls and cupped them, groping them firmly, just how you know he likes it. So it was no surprise when he felt his orgasm approach way too quickly for his liking.

You lifted your mouth from him, a thick string of saliva connecting you to his tip. With a hand moving up and down his cock in fast motions and the other on his balls, you looked up to him through your lashes, wet with tears. “Y’gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum down my throat?”

“Fuck yes, mama. Gonna fuckin’ cum. Needa cum so bad. Please,” you always loved it when he begged. So how on earth could you possibly tell him no?

And he came when you resumed your actions. He released a noise that sounded like a mix of a moan and groan as he came down your throat, shooting hot, white ropes of cum. You swallowed every bit that he gave you without once lifting your head. And then continued.

If he was gonna spend hours on end with his mouth on you, you were gonna spend some time with your mouth on him. Despite his overstimulated state and his whines for you to lay off.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, shit!”

His sounds were like music to your ears that wanted to bottle up and keep to yourself. Unlike his usual deeper voice, his voice now was higher pitched. You loved it when he got like this.

The pain mixed with the pleasure made him see literal stars. His chest was heaving and his ears were ringing, but god did he love it. “M-Mama—oh f-fuck! Can’t. Can’t.”

You squeezed his thigh assuringly, letting him know that he could get through this. Besides, you weren’t sure you quite payed back the favour yet. You could tell he was getting close again, by the way his hands were getting more and more restless and the way his cock twitched in your mouth.

And then he was cumming inside your mouth a second time. Unlike last time, you lifted off of him to swallow, deciding to give your throat a small break before you went at it again. You could definitely see why he loved to eat you out for so long.

You beamed at him, smiling sweetly and rubbing his thighs soothingly. “You did so good f’r me, my love. Such a good boy, yeah?” Your voice was hoarse and your throat burned a bit, but quite frankly, you didn’t care one bit.

He looked down at you with low lidded eyes and smiled weakly. “Yeah. ‘M good f’r you, mama. Love you so much.”

“I love you too, hon,” you manoeuvred your way up to straddle his hips again and kissed him deeply, and he moaned at the taste of himself on your tongue. “But I’m not done with you yet.”

[bitchslapblastoids]

Help they’re making fun of us on twitter for caring about dnp sharing a bed guys did you know it’s so weird to think two men crammed into a tiny bed together for months on end who went to great theatric lengths to hide it and also exist in the context of all in which they live and came before them means they probably also fuck

“Wattpad ruined this generation” fuck offffff with the joylessness

“can’t two guys sleep together without people fujoshing out” DO YOU KNOW WHAT FANDOM YOURE IN??? WAKE UP.

[izel-scribbles]

just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude

[skyhawkstragedy]

[i-really-like-phrogs]

When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[lunarsolar1]

Someone please write fan fiction and make a better ending for season 4 :) like I’m begging yall, please redeem whatever the f*ck was that!!!!

It needs redemption IMMEDIATELY, like this cannot be the finale. I’m in DENIAL, I refuse to believe it ended like that, NO! :) someone needs to make it better clearly they failed

I would do it but my writing skills are horrible, unless someone wants to cowrite with me (if you have more better writing skills than me cause mine sucks) cause I have so much ideas for a good season 4 finale so if anyone wants to help me out please dm me (or comment)! Cause I really want to write a better season 4, this deserves justice 😞✊🤧

[gojoest]

do you ever think about the last night you spend together with satoru holding you in his arms before he goes off to fight sukuna and then never comes back

[rapidhighway]

[jamandjazz]

Darry: Oh, you’re such a pain!

Pony: So why don’t you sell me and buy a rabbit instead?!

Darry: At least the rabbit would behave better than you!

Pony: Go ahead, then you’ll be happy! It’ll use its head more than me too!

Darry: And it’ll be quieter!

Pony, storming off: And you’ll like it cause it’ll be stinky like you!

Darry: Go to your room!

Pony, who just slammed the door: I’m already in my room!

[kimetsu-chan]

I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted

I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people

I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;

so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[el-buzz]

📚 Cg! Clay HCS!!! 💚🎶

Aggagaggaggag first hc list I do EVERRR (so please be kind (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) /💗💗)

Cg! Clay x Agere! Reader!!

pretty much gender neutral!!

Cw: caps lock (just me having happy outbursts), um lotsa author notes and commentary I just wanna talk about him and about how he would be as a cg :ccc, also this is incredibly self indulgent

Also there was no proof reading ☠️

(Crossposted on ao3 @Soft_Buzz!! oh and I’ll update this if I get a new hc idea)

Anyways here you go 💚:

•nicknames for you: kiddo, baby, bubba, bubba wubba (he’s squeezing your cheeks and baby talking you 😭😭), prince/princess/ lil highness/royal, and a number of other sweet nicknames or any that you prefer!

•he would be suuuuuch a sweet and doting caregiver waaaaaaah but he would definitely ensue rules for you! Calm and Strict(ish) cg! Clay would pull up to make sure you are safe and healthy even if you are feeling big!!

•he’d hate to see you hurt or sick, but he’d do everything thing in his power to nurse you back to health :]!

•Clay would definitely provide his kiddo with healthy snack or with fruit or veggie cups!

•Although Clay’s sorta strict he can be soooo soft he always want to hold you, whether it’s your hand/pinkie or cuddle up with you.

•You are his battery and he wants to recharge.

* HE WOULD SOOOO READ TO YOUUUU AHHH he loooooves reading so ofc he’d love to share that interest with his little one

• (please it’s the cutest thing ever)

• imagine him beside you with a book open (he has his reading glasses on :3) and as he reads, he gives all the different characters different voices and will always put emotion into his reading voice, which always leads to you giggling or you gasping in surprise.

• One time you insisted that you were big enough for his sad book club and that you wouldn’t become a big puddle of tears so he gave you Charlotte’s Web to read.

• You were a mess. You didn’t stop being sad for the next couple of HOURS (yes this is a reference to that JD fan art ifykyk☠️)

• Clay had to give you so many hugs, cuddles, and kisses to make up for it. He thought it’d be funny, but he sorta forgot how emotional of a little one you can be.

• “I’m so so sorry baby.” *kiss* “How can I make it up to you?? I’ll do anything”

• oh you’d grin a that. You choose to either do dress up WITH make up or draw on his face and mess around with his hair. AND ice cream.

• You took soooo many pictures (and you may or may have not shared them with Viva, Poppy, and his brothers) Clay says he hates you for it, but secretly believes it was so worth it to see that sparkle in your eyes

• he bought you a piggy and a spider (with little bb spiders) stuffie. Even if you have arachnophobia, you hugged those stuffies while crying happy tears. You gave him a tight hug which he softly returned and gave you a forehead kiss.

• (This whole event was also the birth of your happy scrapbook club!! (even though it just you :} ) )

• You and Clay will just sit together while reading different things. Him with some well recognized and praised novel or book and you with a happy lil scrapbook in your hands!

• I’d also like to think he has a puppet character like Bandit does with unicorse! (Maybe a dragon but that just me :])

• (Clay and Branch be matching with their ventriloquism skills lol)

• If you seem to be clumsy or fall often he starts to develop a sort of spider sense for it and will catch you before disaster happens

• OKOK I know this is gonna sound random buuuut I believe Clay is the type to carry lollipops, and sometimes other candy, around. Idk like I can just picture him a with a lollipop in his mouth trying to look all serious/mysterious and nonchalant LOL

• ANYWAYS back to the Agere stuff

• I think that after completing a task or being good, Clay would def give his kiddo a lollipop as a treat!! that orrrrr if his kiddo seems to be regressing in public and they really want/need a paci or just something to fixate on then boom!!! Lollipop! :D

• Talking about rewards

• This man would sooooo spoil you!! you’re his treasure and he wants you to know it!!

• He’ll either get you food you’ve been craving or a stuffed animal/little gear orrrr both!!

• (Because of the two of you, you now have a chest fuuuull of stuffies Woops💧)

• You always try to show your appreciation by giving him small handmade gifts!! A lil pop up card, bead bracelets (you definitely have matching bracelets), even something crocheted/knitted, and pretty much any arts n crafts you can make!

• Now onto funny business ( •̀ - • )!

• so ofc when it first came to having fun and being playful with you he was bit scared

• can you blame him???

• He’d spent A LOT of time trying to get rid/away from the tittle of being the fun boy

• Ofc through lot of reassurance you let him know that he can have fun and play with you and still be a very serious caregiver!

• you help him understand that being funny and silly every once in a while doesn’t hurt and that he should try to find a balance that work for him! Which he eventually does :D!!

• I like to believe that he’d be great at playing pretend and hide and seek!

• “Worry not your highness!! You will protect you from the dragon!” (It’s one of your plushies)

• “Wherever could my kiddo be?? They must have turned invisible!!” (he can hear your giggles which just makes his smile wider)

• Although he really tries to be there for you, he’s a reaaaally busy man :((( but he still tries to spend time with you through parallel play! While he’s doing his grown up paperwork, you get to colooor!! (or draw or scrapbook or anything really) as long you promise to be good and not distract him

• (plus the sooner he’s done the sooner he can give you all his attention! so it’s a win-win situation :D)

• Actually if you were feeling extra lil you’d just get a paper and scribble on it with crayon trying to copy Clay’s mannerisms (when he sees this he’s physically holding himself back from just picking you up, cradling you, and just babying you waaaah you’re gonna be the end of him)

• oh and he would sooo keep your little artworks in his working area (they bring a sweet smile to his face and warm his soul you’re the best kiddo he could have ever asked for)

• You also get to have cuddles while he works! Sometimes he’ll just sit you on his lap with a stuffie or two while he wraps an arm around you and litters your head or face with kisses!

• Now onto not so funny business ૮๑ˊ��ˋ๑ა

• sometimes Clay’ll have a rough or tiring day :((

* and that’s okk caregivers have their moments too!

• He’ll usually want to cuddle with you and hold you close. (You are his stuffie :D)

• He might even tickle you or blow raspberries on your tummy (if you give him permission ofc!!) which often leaves you with a giggling and squirming fit.

• He just loves seeing you laugh and smile (especially if it’s him who made you happy :] you just brighten his day so much sometimes)

• One time he was just so tired and just laying down on the couch and then you brought one stuffie to him and then two till you pretty much had him buried under almost all of your stuffies!!

* You then proceeded to lay on top of him, and Clay just sticks both arms out from under the pile while smiling softly with his eyes closed.

• Let’s just say you guys woke up with stuffed animals scattered eeeeeverywhere

• If you’re a kiddo/baby who tends to get overwhelmed easily, he’ll get you some noise canceling/dampening headphones and just wraps you in a soft blanket like a little burrito.

• He’ll also either get you an eye mask or will lower the lights if he can. (And if you’re feeling lil enough then a paci too!!)

• After doing any of this, he’ll just bring you onto his lap and whisper sweet lil nothings to you till you feel better or seem to fall asleep :D!

• would enforce a bed time >:( (he is a very very veeeery serious guy after all)

• but luckily bedtime means a bottle or sippy of sweet sleepy tea and a storyyyy :D!!

• Forehead kisses!! (CALL ME BIASED CAUSE I LOOOOOVE FOREHEAD KISSES but I stand by what I say.

• Oh and if he’s ever gonna to be very busy for the day and he won’t be able to take care of his kiddo, he’d ask Viva to help him take care of you!!

• Plus who doesn’t love babysitter Viva??? She’s so energetic and fun with you, but she’ll definitely tone it down for you 💛

• she’s also super strong so she’ll definitely carry you or give you a piggy back ride if you ask :>!

• She also give you lots of candies and sugary foods but shhhhh don’t tell Clay itsa secret (but I think the sugar rush/crash you have when he picks you up from Viva’s tells him more than enough

• (I feel like he would trust all his brothers with you (especially Bruce) except JD 😭😭)

• He would sooooo grab your cheeks and squeeze them like he did to Branch when first seeing him again

• Expect him to do that whenever he just wants to dote on you and baby you even if you’re feeling bigger than usual he just loves youuuu! 💚💚💚

In summary: I need this man bc he is the bestest boyfriend and caregiver ever!!

Final notes!:

I love likes but comments and reposts are greatly appreciate (I love to talk if you can’t tell) type something out and let me know what you think 💗💗

If anybody would like to use any of the hcs/scenarios for a fanfic tots fine with me just don’t forget to tag me for credit and so I can see it :DD!!