#literally nobody asked for this but I’m an oversharer who’s been sitting on this for a few days

[el-255]

Literally no one asked for this but i decided to do my ranking of NPMD songs because I’ve seen some people do it on yt. I don’t post on yt and I’m shit at video editing so here we are-

This is all my personal opinions based on how much I enjoy the songs and how often I listen to them (also partly based on the scenes, choreo, etc) so please don’t lynch me, everyone’s allowed their opinions.

This was really hard for me because I actively listen to the songs from 11 onwards and I’m likely to change my mind as I listen to the album more so take this with a grain of salt. This is probably my favourite album that Starkid’s ever done.

Do not expect any coherent comments for this ranking as I’m terrible at articulating my thoughts, but just know that all these songs are incredible and they all hold a special place in my heart.

15. Go Go Nighthawks!

I don’t dislike this song tbh just very neutral towards it. I really enjoy the “fuck you Clivesdale” portion of the song but other than that, I can’t really say I listen to it. Kim and Bryce’s splits were incredible though holy shit.

14. The Best of You

This song, like many have said, is a bit too Disney channel for me. I like the scene and Steph and Pete are a really cute couple but not really into the song.

13. Bully the Bully

I love the scene for this, Angela’s choreo is brilliant and I think it’s a cute little song. The only reason it’s this low is because I don’t really listen to it outside of watching the show.

12. Bury the Bully

OKAY THIS ONE HURTS BECAUSE IVE REALLY GROWN TO APPRECIATE THIS REPRISE AND I THINK ITS BRILLIANT, HOWEVER, similarly to bully the bully, I don’t listen to it outside of outside of the show. Unfortunately cannot rank it higher than this as I enjoy the rest of the songs more :(

11. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

I’m ashamed that this is so low just purely based on Jon’s incredible “I’m not a loser” and Will Brenner’s amazing performance, HOWEVER, I’m not as into the rest of the song so unfortunately it is ranked as it is. The scene is pure genius though holy shit. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

10. Cool As I Think I Am

I had a hard time deciding between 11 and 10 but cool as I think I am just took it in regards to the fact that I actually listen to this song in my own time. What can I say? I’m a sucker for Joey’s Bug type roles and solos. Goes to show how much I enjoyed the album that this song I actively enjoy is ranked so low.

9. Dirty Dudes Must Die

This was originally higher on my list but I have since grown to enjoy other songs more but make no mistake, I think this is a great ending to the show and I adore Angela’s unhinged performance as Grace. The “who will pray for you?” reprise coming from Grace of all people is *chefs kiss*.

8. If I Loved You

Mariah and Joey’s vocals willed this ranking into existence. I love a good duet between characters who are obviously attracted to each other but for some reason, are desperate to act like they aren’t. While I don’t believe this is the strongest love duet in Starkid history (that belongs to the way I do imo), I do think it’s a sweet and a catchy tune overall.

7. Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise)

I did not appreciate this song as much as i should’ve when I first watched the show, but recently I’ve been listening to it a lot more and it’s just the perfect combination of cool as I think I am and if I loved you. Absolutely devastated me upon first watch.

6. Literal Monster

Honestly, when I first watched the show, I didn’t like this song very much and was very surprised when I saw that it had one of the highest views out of the album. I’ve listened to it a lot more since then and it’s genuinely been the biggest change from my original ranking to this one now. The harmonies are incredible, Kim is as always a queen, Will Brenner’s section is so good idek what to say. But yeah, I really like this song.

5. Dirty Girl

I know this is very controversial as it is currently first place for my poll on people’s least favourite/least listened to song. Like most people, the scene makes me extremely uncomfortable BUT THE VOCALS !!!!! I genuinely love the song it’s such a banger and Angela and Will’s voices go so well together it’s actually insane. (I do still cringe every time I hear the words “dirty girl soup”).

4. High School is Killing Me

Probably the best opening Starkid has ever done. I’m a big sucker for group numbers so it has that going for it. Idk what else to say really, I just love the song.

3. Hatchet Town

I 👏 LOVE 👏 THIS 👏 SONG 👏 arguably one of the best act 2 openers, I am a sucker for group numbers as mentioned above and the tune of hatchet town is just so good. I particularly enjoy the chorus and the ending.

2. The Summoning

Need I even say more?

1. Just For Once

Probably the most controversial ranking I’ve ever done but SUE ME, I think this song is brilliant and a modern masterpiece. Someone said it gave them Falsettos vibes which absolutely contributes to why I love it so much but theres just so much else going for it. I could write a whole essay on the importance of just for once but I’ll spare you for now. All I’m going to say is that this song slaps and I will take no other answer :)

[theinconveniencing]

sorry I’m done being vague and I took a shower and am listening to addison rae’s ep to calm myself down so I can actually s at what happened now because I’m legit sick because I’m so upset. and I realized after typing all this out it’s Really embarrassing and super mega oversharing so I’m putting it under a cut

so like my sister bi guy 2 sarah suitemate and I were all sitting around and bi guy was explaining the plot of nope to my sister and my sister was taking notes in my notebook because she’s weird and takes notes when somebody is explaining a movie to her. love that girl. so when she was done I was flipping through the notebook and I found the pros and cons list her and I made the first day that her and her boyfriend started dating. and we were joking about the pros and cons list earlier so I was like “lol look it’s the pros and cons list” and sarah was like “can I see that” so I gave it to her and I handed her the notebook and she made to rip out the page and I was like “come on man that’s my notebook” and she’s like “no it’s my writing it’s mine” and we went back and forth and I was having a shitty day and a shitty couple of days a shitty week like I’m so fucking stressed so I just snapped. like I’ve never snapped like this before in my life and I said “sarah you’re boyfriend is a fucking asshole that nobody likes!” which was really uncalled for yes but if you’ve been here since last year you know this tension has been building literally ever since we met. anyways she didn’t respond she just ripped the page out and walked to her room so I followed her and was like “sarah.” and she closed the door in my face then I told her everything that I’ve been feeling for the past two days I’ve been here. which is essentially i was so stressed about moving in and starting classes and coming back to [city] but I thought all of that would get better once I actually got here and settled in but ever since I got here she hasn’t barely even talked to me. like I moved to this place I’m not familiar with and the only person that could make this place feel like a home is barely even talking to me and is acting like she doesn’t care about anything I say when we do talk and I just don’t understand why she’s treating me like this and ignoring me. like I’ve been alone ever since I got here and she’s not putting in any effort to make me feel welcome so I don’t even feel comfortable in my own fucking apartment. etc. and at some point I said I was sorry for snapping at her but I’m just so stressed and frustrated and I wish she would just fucking talk to me. and the crazy thing is the entire time after I snapped initially she didn’t say a fucking word to me. not after I said all that and not after I asked if we were going to talk when she was leaving the apartment. not when I apologized to her again and she gave me the only response she gave me from the beginning which was a nod.

and in between me saying all that to her through a closed door like some shitty movie scene I Did cry and my sister and bi guy were there and it was super embarrassing and I haven’t cried in front of anybody in like five years or more I’m not joking. actually I cried at the airport with dani but that doesn’t count. anyways yeah it was bad but my sister and bi guy said I was justified. which they wouldn’t just say. but I’m Not a person to do anything like this ever but as previously stated I’ve always had problems with sarah but these last two days it’s been unbearable. like your alleged best friend finally moves into the apartment and instead of hanging out with her all you do is hang out with your boyfriend. who she hates. and I don’t even hate him as a boyfriend I hate him as a person and I’m genuinely uncomfortable around him and whenever he’s here I feel like I’m paralyzed in my own apartment like whenever he’s here I only leave my room when it’s direly necessary. like it just sucks. and this is a small thing my sister said but I didn’t see sarah barely at all yesterday and last night she stayed over at the boyfriend’s place but she didn’t Tell me she was going to stay over at her boyfriend’s place so I left her a note for when she got home that said “I went to bed and I hope you had fun at the show and I hope I get to see you more tomorrow I love you!” and every time we talked today she never even Acknowledged the note that’s still on her door. anyways even before this whole incident my sister was like “that’s so sad. all you said was that you wanna see her more and she still didn’t hang out with you. like yeah it’s fucked up. AND we’ve had these plans that the hi guys and my sister were all gonna come over today and they would Finally meet for WEEKS now. and she still prioritized hanging out with her boyfriend over us. and when she finally came back she was being an asshole and immediately suggested that they all (bi guy jason had left to hang out with his gf at this point which was Also an asa home move since my sister and I weren’t even done making dinner yet) take edibles when she knows I don’t do that and I don’t really like being around people when they’re high. but just so you know the edibles has basically entirely worn off by the time the argument happened. but yeah that’s my shitty night. in my apartment that still doesn’t feel like home. and idk if this is gonna be a friendship ruiner and I’m still gonna have to live with her or if she can forgive me or what and all I wanna do is hug my mom but she’s not here. anyways I need to sleep but idk if I can.

ALSO my sister is calling this s “disneyXD incident which I think is funny and I’m inclined to agree. like it’s giving bottoms. you know.

[jinkicake]

You Call Him Daddy?!

You accidentally call them daddy in front of the team.

Akaashi Keiji x Reader

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Anon, this might be a tad bit ooc in some parts.... Sometimes I picture the different ways these characters act when they aren’t seen and I like to write it like that LOL You know experiment and shit,,, Also I feel like I’m the only bitch who likes Nohebi HAHAH 

SMUT // NSFW 

WC- 2,213

~~~

Akaashi Keiji

First let me say, wow Akaashi is so pretty and done.

I feel like if you accidentally call him daddy in front of the team it’ll be such a big mess 

All the third years, except Bokuto, are going to be silent, while their captain is like ‘yo toss for me’ like the whole ‘daddy’ thing would go over Bokuto’s head. Sweet Bokuto does not kink shame, okay. The managers would be squealing and gasping in shock, sending you suggestive looks before dragging you off somewhere to beg for details HAHAH

“Keiji! I’m so happy to see you!” You exclaim softly before wrapping your arms around him, you’re at the representative playoffs and you finally get to see your boyfriend once again after the few weeks of separation

Despite living relatively close to one another, you and Akaashi were both very busy preparing for these games. While he was practicing with his own team, you were managing for yours (which always proved to be a challenge, even now)

“Oh, how is your girlfriend doing by the way?” Kuroo sneers behind you and you glance to see your own captain squaring up with the pesky cat 

“Ah, excuse me Keiji,” You pout and apologize, Akaashi gently smiles and kisses the pout off your lips before unwrapping his arms to let you go control your petty team

“Daishou!” You scold and wrap your hand around said boy’s bicep, pulling him behind you to get in front of Kuroo, you give the Nekoma captain a fake smile before turning around to face your friend “I’m trying to see my boyfriend and I can’t do that if you keep starting shit!” You whisper-yell and Daishou rolls his eyes

“I didn’t start anything-“ He lies and you narrow your eyes up at him

“Daishou stay away from them and they’ll stay away from you, okay? Save your energy for the court.” You pat his chest and gently let go of the grip you have on him,

You’re about halfway back to Akaashi before you hear the damn snake speak up again

“I broke up with her!” Your eye twitches because you know damn well Yamaka broke up with him, you send Akaashi another sympathetic smile before walking back to your teammate

The grip you have on Daishou’s collar makes him choke and you practically toss him into the wall and get in-between him and Kuroo once more, glaring at anyone who looks at you

“I am trying to talk to my boyfriend who I have not seen in a few weeks so if you both could kindly stay away from each other I would appreciate it,” You smile sweetly and Daishou scrunches his nose before opening his mouth once more 

“See you in the finals” He sneers and you quite literally pick him up by his hair

“Daishou if you don’t shut the fuck up, you’re not going to see the finals. All I want is to have a peaceful day and then go home and give my boyfriend that gawk gawk 3000 and call him daddy so if you could please help me just this once and be quiet.” You growl and drag him away from Nekoma, smiling softly at Akaashi when you pass him, you bring your captain all the way to where your team is in the bleachers and sit him down on the bench “okay, now then-“

“You call him daddy?” Daishou snickers and you narrow your eyes at him

“What the hell are you talking about?” You ask and Daishou laughs so loudly it sounds like a cackle 

“You said, and I quote,” Daishou clears his throat before speaking again, purposely altering the pitch of his tone to reference yours “give my boyfriend that gawk gawk 3000 and call him daddy so if you could please-“ 

Daishou shuts up when you sit down next to him dejectedly

“I said that in front of you and the entire Nekoma team and Fukuroudani?” You whisper and the captain throws his arm around your shoulder

“Don’t worry (Y/N)! At least you didn’t say it in front of our team…. Oh wait,” He snickers and you awkwardly face the rest of your players and coach

“Ah, Daishou, I’m going to quit” You cry and he immediately tries to calm you down 

“Wait, (Y/N), no you can’t!” 

“So, you like being called daddy?” Kuroo asks after he bumps into Akaashi. Your boyfriend can only sigh in shame and shake his head, “I-is that a yes or a no?”

“That’s a shut the fuck up Kuroo” Kenma bites and defends his other friend, trying to drag the middle blocker away from the setter

Konohana, Komi, and Sarukui simply blink before walking away, dragging Bokuto along with them so their setter can face the shame in peace 

“Oh, Keiji!” You squeak and tightly grip the bed sheets on either side of you, you want to so badly grip his silky hair but, Akaashi has rules. The dark-haired boy flicks your thigh as a warning and you can’t help the pout that appears on your face. Akaashi not allowing you to touch him is a big punishment and, needless to say, you aren’t happy about it. Akaashi continues to stare up at you from in-between your thighs, his lips have captured your clit as he sucks dutifully on the swollen bud. 

“Daddy,” The pitiful whimper slips past your lips and Akaashi smirks against your soaking cunt, his tongue flicks your clit. His warm mouth is welcoming as he continues the harassment on the delicate pearl. “I-I love you.” The endearing phrase flies past your lips and Akaashi feels his resolve soften, he can never stay harsh with you for long. 

Though, he will try.

Akaashi removes his mouth and slaps your clit with four fingers, watching as you squirm and cry at the impact. He can tell how badly you want to grip his hair and he mentally reminds himself to reward you for staying so still, well as still as you can be. He continues to tap the sensitive bundle of nerves, ranging from light taps to slaps that sound throughout the room. 

“Daddy, please,” You cry and Akaashi takes pity on you, he leans forward and licks soothing strips up against your clit. He wants to kiss the sting away because he truly cares too much about his baby and wants you to feel nothing but pleasure.

“Daddy loves you too sweet girl, I love you so much.” Akaashi coos as he kisses along your thigh, he glances up and sees you staring at him with a deep pout on your face. He just wants to kiss it off. “Don’t look at me like that.” He tries to scold but his words come out weak, your pitiful eyes play numbers on him that he will never understand. “Patience, you’ll get what you want, hold out for Daddy."

Kozume Kenma

I 99.9% believe that Kenma getting called daddy in front of the team is Kuroo’s fault ,,, LOL 

Like Kuroo knows shit and it accidentally slips and everyone is like … ‘kuroo wtf’ because nobody believes him much to Kenma’s relief HAHAH

It isn’t often that you can convince Kenma to stay after at a joint practice but when you do, you nearly regret it every time

“And then she wanted to call me daddy,” Kuroo gasps loudly like the gossiper he is and you have to refrain from rolling your eyes at the way Bokuto is hanging onto his every word “shit honestly though, it was pretty hot”

The one time…. One time you convince Kenma to stay after practice to spend time with his friends and these are the conversations you get 

“Oh, I totally believe you Kuroo” You click your tongue mockingly and the tall captain gently pushes the side of your head 

“It’s true, don’t be jealous you weren’t her (Y/N)” Kuroo throws back and you flick him off, internally smiling at the way Kenma pulls you closer to his chest and tightens his arms around your shoulders 

“Kuroo you’re literally the biggest nerd on the planet, you really expect me to believe you get pussy, much less get someone to call you daddy?” At your words Bokuto gasps and Akaashi covers the ace’s gaping mouth with his own hand

“Ask Kenma he was there!” Kuroo flicks your forehead and you turn around to your boyfriend with your hand already bunched up in his dyed hair 

“I was not there,” Kenma confirms and had it not been for his arms wrapped around your waist, you would have lunged at Kuroo

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe, it’s not like you don’t call Kenma ‘daddy’” Kuroo spills, stating it so simply like he’s talking about the weather. You start to mentally plan his death as Akaashi shakes his head and Bokuto begins laughs loudly

You know Kenma hates being put in the spotlight but you simply could not help yourself

“You’re telling me if you had this mf fucking you every night, you wouldn’t call him daddy?” You snap at Kuroo and Kenma tenses behind you before squeezing your hips so hard you nearly yelp, Kuroo leans back on his forearms and looks around proudly like what did I say? 

“Yeah, okay,” Bokuto wheezes and falls back on the gym floor 

“What?” You and Kuroo both snap and Bokuto laughs even harder, clutching his sides and trying to cover his loud voice with Akaashi’s jacket

“Those two virgins? Yeah right-AH” Bokuto points at you and Kenma before Akaashi shuts him up by covering his mouth once again

“How would you even know that Kuroo?” Akaashi asks while placing his other hand on Boktuo’s shoulder to keep him pinned to the floor 

“Best friends don’t overshare their sex lives?” Kuroo asks and Akaashi shakes his head quietly, Kuroo does not miss a beat with his follow-up response “Oh, I forgot you two do each other so there isn’t much to share” 

Now it’s your turn to gasp and Kenma tries to hide the audible hitch in your breath with his hand. The gym is now silent and you eagerly glance between Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto while waiting for someone to confirm or deny the statement

“Come on Kuroo it was one time!” Bokuto finally gets out of Akaashi’s grasp and Kuroo gives him a pointed look, “Fine. Five times” Another moment of silence passes before “Okay, it has become a regularly occurring thing” 

“Wow,” You simply nod in amazement before sending Akaashi a proud thumbs-up, one that Kenma swats down quickly 

“So we all probably have daddy kinks…” You trail off and look around the gym suspiciously, taking in the small noticeable nods you receive while trying to subtly hide the shocked look on your face

“Well, wasn't this fun, we all learned something new about each other!” Kuroo claps amusedly and Kenma buries his head into your shoulder 

“Yeah, too much,” He mutters before nudging your nose with his ear “can we leave now?”

Of course, Kuroo happened to overhear that

“KENMA I HEARD THAT!” 

Kenma kneels behind you and he oozes disinterest as his eyes run all over your bent figure. The way he has you tied up has your face shoved into the mattress while your ass is high in the air. Kenma leans forward, hovering over you as he playfully snaps your blindfold between his fingers. 

“You’re so irritating,” He sighs and tugs on your hair roughly, forcing you to arch your back even more. It doesn’t matter how much shit he talks because you can still feel the hard heat digging into the back of your thighs. “you really wanted everyone to know your little secret.” 

Kenma trails one of his hands between your thighs, running his fingers along your slit and the gag in your mouth muffles your moans. 

“Kuroo acts like he knows everything we do behind closed doors but truthfully, he doesn’t even know the half of it.” Kenma softly rubs his palm against your ass, smoothing it over to the bottom of your spine. “Isn’t that right?” He asks and you can’t help the way you push your ass harder up against him. 

A harsh slap resonates around the room, the entire impact of it all makes your body lunge forward. Had it not been for the restraints, you would have bucked your head into the wooden headboard. Kenma quietly laughs before doing it again, letting his slim hand smack your ass once more. He watches with an amused expression at how your thighs have slightly spread for him so that he can see your drenched cunt perfectly.

“You’re enjoying this,” Kenma voices his thoughts and you nod your head, Kenma has to hold back from rolling his eyes and he leans over to release the gag from your mouth.

“Yes Daddy, I want more. Please,” You softly moan, your voice coming out hoarse due to the strain in your jaw and the dryness of your throat. Your boyfriend almost regrets taking the gag off your loudmouth. Regardless, he finds himself playing right into your game and the tightness in his pants increases tenfold. He does this all for you, Kenma lies to himself. It isn’t all entirely just for you.

“How many more do you want? How many more can you take from me?”

~ Taglist.

@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @lovellucy @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder

[katsukisblackteddy]

Can you do HCs of Shinsou, Amajiki, Bakugo; teen!Aizawa with a South African s/o who has people saying some annoying comments to her just bc she's from Africa. Like someone says that they're sorry that she struggled with poverty (girl is from a super wealthy family that can buy their family), or say some gibberish with clicks and asks her to translate (s/o can speak five languages: English, Zulu, Xhosa, Afrikaans, and Japanese; understand others. Xhosa has clicks). They ask her if she had...

cont’d request: Pt.II - to hunt for her food (Umm, no. Cape Town has supermarkets and she knows what pizza and Japanese food is, guys). Someone just can't believe that South Africa has TV and internet, while s/o literally has a cell phone with all of the social media and has friends/family from South Africa. When class is over, someone asks why isn't she wearing "African" clothes (bc Africa is country, not a continent) when s/o is just wearing basic clothes. People be stupid.

“Don’t Be Stupid” - Headcannon for Shinsou, Tamaki, Bakugou, and teen!Aizawa

Hey! Thanks for requesting! Hope this is okay :)

Pairings: Shinsou, Tamaki, Bakugou, teen!Aizawa x reader Pronouns: she/her Warnings: ignorance, cursing

Hitoshi didn’t really give a flying fuck about what others thought, mainly because most of the time people didn’t even want to be around him because of his “villain quirk”

But just because he didn’t care what they thought about him, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t fuck somebody up if they messed with you

Shinsou is a quiet guy for the most part, but he was super perceptive

So when he heard that the little ballsack haired toddler from class 1-A was spreading rumors about you, he was angry

You had no problem explaining to people about your home country of South Africa, especially if they asked nicely

But one day when you were walking past Class 1-A when school had just ended, intent on meeting your boyfriend outside to go walk to the park together, you heard Mineta spewing shit about you and South Africa

“Yeah they’re a bunch of savages over there! They literally hunt for food with spears and everyone is poor and they use goats as money.” Mineta said

You stood by the door to see what they were going to say before you chimed in and told them what South Africa was actually like.

“Mineta that’s literally cap and you know it.” Kaminari chimed in with a roll of his eyes. 

He had been spending so much time around you and Shinsou that he started even using your slang unconsciously.

It made you smile a bit.

“Kaminari you’re dumb as rocks. How would you know?” Mineta defended himself.

“Anyways, apparently because they’re so poor they steal a lot too. Maybe that’s why my jacket went missing after I was around (y/n)...Like I said they’re a bunch of savages, she probably doesn’t know any better.” 

Now it was time for you to chime in. 

“Why the fuck would I want your ratty ass jacket anyway? I don’t steal and that’s not what South Africa is like. Denki knows because I told him about it. I’m not poor, I just don’t flaunt my wealth, and if you really want to know I could buy your entire family with my own net worth.” You remarked, crossing your arms over your chest with a huff.

Bakugou sat in the corner watching the whole exchange with a small smirk on his face...he enjoyed confrontation too much.

“Oh and we do have supermarkets where we buy our food from.” You add as an after thought. “If you wanted to know about South Africa, you should’ve just asked like a normal person instead of spewing shit. Have a nice day.” You left the classroom after that a smile growing on your face as you heard Kaminari and Kirishima scold Mineta for talking shit behind your back.

Yeah...that was the last time he did that because after Shinsou heard what happened he found Mineta the next day and threatened him so bad he peed his diaper.

Tamaki was a pretty reserved guy and when you two began dating it surprised mostly everyone because you two were so different

Honestly, Tamaki literally looked at you like a goddess and it annoyed him when people were just plain ignorant

Usually when he was annoyed he would rant to you about it or Mirio or Nejire, and then he would go sit in a corner blushing about how he feared he was oversharing

PLS HE’S SO CUTE

um...N E WAYS...

You had been a transfer into the class when they were second years after your father decided to expand his international company to Japan, meaning you had to leave your home in South Africa

You were upset at first but you quickly made friends with the Big Three and Leonardo Subarashi, who was also from South Africa. 

So it came as a surprise when one of your friends, Tsuki Vinsmoke started talking shit about your homeland even when two of her friends were from there

“They literally live in huts with dirt floors. Maybe that’s why they’re so dirty and poor.” Tsuki laughed with two of her bitch friends, standing right near you

You turned to look at her with a frown on your face, practically daring her to say something else.

“I don’t even know how those two got here. They don’t even have phone service over there.”

“Hey (y/n)?” She said a little louder, as you turned around again, placing your pencil down and momentarily ignoring your school work.

“What Tsuki?”

“Why don’t you wear African clothes? Like those weird scarves and cloths or whatever? Are you ashamed that you came from dirt poor people? I would be.” Tsuki wore a nasty smile on her face as her eyes seemed to sparkle with malice.

“There’s no such thing as African clothes Tsuki. People wear the same clothes here that they do in South Africa...why would I be ashamed of such a culturally rich homeland? I’m proud to be South African, and besides I’d suggest you do some research before you start talking to me about being poor, especially since I’m way richer than you.” You gave a fake sincere smile before glancing over at Tamaki and your friends who gave you a thumbs up as if to say Destroy her.

So you did...in the end you got sent to Principal Nezu’s office after you made her cry and she lied to your teacher saying you had threatened her life like a dirty savage

Tamaki had to hold you back with some help from Mirio before you decked her

Nezu didn’t really care and gave you a donut from the order that had been in his office before sending you back to class

Needless to say, Tsuki got suspended for being racist and perpetuating a hateful environment in the classroom and nobody else messed with you, not even her little friends who sucked up to you after Tsuki went on suspension.

Why would anyone even bother saying stupid shit about you when you were just as hot headed as your explosive boyfriend? I don’t know, but they did

Of course everyone from class 1-A was smart enough not to start anything, but it seems Monoma wasn’t as smart

The annoying overly entitled blonde from class 1-B, had started out by asking you simple questions about your homeland, things like:

“What’s it like there?”, “Is it always sunny?”, “Have you seen a rhino or lion before?”

Then they started getting kind of ignorant and annoying.

“Hey (y/n)? Can you speak African?”

“No Monoma because Africa is a continent made up of many countries, each with their own languages.” You explained, wasn’t he supposed to be smart? “What are you doing Monoma?” You asked, with a raised eyebrow as he started to make strange noises at you.

“Shit for Brains, leave us the fuck alone.” Bakugou grumbled from beside you after he finished chewing his food. 

“It’s you language right? Can you understand what I said?”

“No dumbfuck. You sounded like a dolphin.” You remarked as a few of your friends laughed lightly. 

“I’m surprised you understand...I heard your people aren’t very smart...you know products of their environment, it’s unfortunate really. I’m sorry that you lived in such poverty, but you should consider yourself lucky, now you get to live in dorms and sleep in a real bed and not on a dirt floor.” Monoma went on and on and you were growing increasingly annoyed as you friends sat there in shocked silence.

“You know what Monoma?” You said with a fake smile as you spun around. “I’ve never met anyone as ignorant and stupid as you. I’m not poor and I never was, I slept in a real bed with an actually comfortable mattress unlike the ones here, and I much smarter than you ever will be I speak five fucking languages and I can understand more than that in others. Would you like me to tell you to fuck off in another language since you can’t seem to understand Japanese?” You asked as you raised your eyebrows with your arms crossed over your chest, as if waiting for his answer. 

He stayed silent. 

“That’s what I thought. Maybe you are smart after all?” You added teasingly, watching him be dragged back to his table by Kendo.

Shota Aizawa never really had many friends, usually more laidback than others were comfortable with, but the ones he did have were the complete opposites of him

Hizashi and Shirakumo were loud pranksters, while you and Midnight were talkative and enjoyed messing with him.

Most of the time he ignored the pigheaded bully that was Sensoji, because he usually only picked on Shota, but when Sensoji realized that you were Aizawa’s real weakness, he started to hound you.

And Shota was NOT having that

It all came to a head after he battled against Shota during a training session.

“Your useless just like your quirk Aizawa.” Sensoji sneered at your boyfriend, glaring down at him. 

“Your nothing but a waste of space.” Sensoji added seeing the way that his insults didn’t really phase Shota.

“Hey leave him alone! What is wrong with you!” You intervened pushing the broad shouldered boy away from Shota.

“What are you that weak that you need your little safari ass backwoods girlfriend to save your ass?” Sensoji laughed along with one of his equally stupid Class 1-B classmates.

“Don’t fucking talk about her!” Shota yelled back, his eyes glowing as if it was a warning.

“Or what? It’s not like she’ll understand? People like her back in her country of Africa are stupid as fuck. They build their homes out of oversized tin cans and they don’t even have phones.” 

“Sensoji you’re the stupid one! Africa is... A CONTINENT NOT A COUNTRY!” Hizashi jumped in, activating his quirk halfway through his sentence.

“And they don’t live in tin cans.” Midnight added.

“I live in a nice home, one that’s probably bigger than yours. Just admit that you’re jealous of Shota and me and move on!” You pressed your finger into his chest on each word, glaring at him as if to say say something else and see what happens.

“Grow up!” Shota and Shirakumo added before Sensoji rushed away when he saw the teachers coming over to see what you all were arguing about.

“Yeah that’s what I thought! Run away like a little bitch!” You added with a growing smile.

“Language (y/n)!” Your teacher scolded, but even that couldn’t bring down your smile as you, your boyfriend, and your friends laughed about the incident.

You all still even joked about it years later.

TAGS:

[pochapal]

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

[stargazing-enby]

ENHORABUENA POR TU NO-1K SEGUIDORES! 1.1K es mucho más carismático que 1K de todos modos 🤣 And now in English for greater audiences: if this is a sleepover people will eventually change into their pyjamas, and changing clothes is usually a cue to talk about *drumroll* BODY HAIR! Thoughts? Removing it or not, how to do it, why to do it, how is it related or not to your gender identity...

Thoughts: kekqdnnw I LOVE THIS QUESTION! I have a historyTM with body hair and I am passionate and mad and opinionated about it. Long story short, I don't remove it anymore, save for the stray prickly hairs that pop up in weird places of my eyebrows and upper lip.

Why to do it: because you choose to. If you like how it feels, or how it looks, or your skin is too sensitive if you don't remove it, or if you feel good doing it, or even if you're not ready to consider stopping doing it yet, then no one should ever tell you that you can't, or shouldn't, or make you feel guilty about it. The right to decide over your body goes both ways. In fact, it goes every single way.

How to do it: find the method that works best for you! Some people have fine hair and have no trouble shaving, but for some others like me shaved body hair is like having needles growing out of your body. Some people can't use creams because of skin conditions, but for others it may be the quickest, most painless way! Plucking it out sucks because of ingrown hairs, but it lasts longer, so that may be your jam. Just listen to your body and do what feels best for you 😊

And because I like to overshare, here's a little insight into my journey...

I have PCOS and am dark-haired, so I have a LOT of body hair. From age 12 onwards I was bullied, shamed, and told by my family that I had to remove my body hair in order to have other people respect me. One time, I was even physically forced to go to a hairdresser and wax my face after I repeatedly said no, just because "young ladies don't look like that".

I have waxed, shaved, plucked, used creams (that gave me allergic reactions), and tried laser removal. But I mostly shaved, which is why I spent the entirety of my teenage years with my legs covered in hair so prickly it felt like needles — so prickly it physically hurt to walk because the joints between my thighs and butt would grow those hairs every two days and it would sink into my skin with every step. So prickly I couldn't sit with my legs pressed together in summer without wanting to scream.

When I was 17, I started to remove my body hair with laser solely because my parents had planned that for me. They had decided a few years prior that I would shave to make my hair thicker so that the laser would remove all of it forever more quickly and easily. I remember crying out, sobbing from pain, and having the ladies that were doing it laugh at me because "this is something every woman goes through". I remember walking out of those sessions feeling sick, telling my parents that I didn't want that for my body, and feeling like nobody cared, like they thought they knew best.

At 18, after I'd gone through a few laser sessions, I happened to win a poetry contest. They gave me money to spend in this one mall, and because I was DONE, I got myself an epilator and I plucked out the hair of the entirety of my legs (OUCH) several times over the course of 6 months until I could finally let them grow without it feeling like a physical torture.

Then I stored the epilator away, threw out every razor I owned, and never removed my body hair again. Literally.

This was... 3 and a half years ago now, and it was around that time that I figured out I was nonbinary, too. Funnily enough, the two things have absolutely nothing to do with one another for me. I never once thought, "I shouldn't have to do this because I'm not a woman." I thought, "no woman and no person should be forced to do this against their will, and that includes me, as a person society views as a woman. No one should have this right over MY body." For me, having body hair is a human thing, not a gender-dependant thing. So having body hair doesn't give me gender euphoria, the same way as I don't relate the feeling of dysphoria to it not being there. It's a matter of me, my bodily boundaries, and the unearthly amounts of spite I feel against the people who thought they got to make that decision for me. Does that make sense? I hope it answers your last question!

Anyway. Since I stopped removing my body hair, I've learnt a few things. First of all, that the only people who care if you have body hair are high-schoolers and parents. Seriously. No one in university cares at all. No strangers at the beach or in the streets. Only my parents gave a damn — before they came to terms with it, they did beautiful things (/s) such as call me a sheep, "accuse" me of being a closeted trans man, and hide me from their friends when they visited. (It's important to note that my parents have been divorced since I was 11 and don't speak to one another, yet they still managed to act the same about this). Secondly, I've found that the breeze brushing your leg hair when you leave the house in summer feels reeeeally nice. Thirdly, that sweating doesn't itch as much for me, aaand lastly, that when you shoot the shower spray at your leg from different angles you can draw patterns on your leg!

(Also, I completely agree with the beginning of the ask 😎)

[stupid-aesthetic-bullshit]

The words dont usually come out right but whatever.

For the past 3 years all I've fucking done is try to be good to people. I tried to do things for people. I tried to make people feel loved and cared for. I tried to make people feel beautiful. I never fucking feel those things. I put on a mask and be what people need me to be. I dont have the kinds of connections with people where I can ask to stay over or vent to someone when I desperately need it. I've never had a functioning relationship and I can partially take credit for that. I'm strong in a sense and weak in most others. I'm fragile and short tempered. But that's just because everytime I really care for someone, like really care for someone they take advantage of me or just leave. In my experience theres always going to be someone better, and that's okay, right? Because if I really cared I'd want them to have better. I feel selfish for having these feelings but really isnt it normal to want to have people in your life who care? I'm just shitty I guess.

The people who really got to know me know what I mean. I've recently started to sleep around hoping I can maybe fill some of the void that's slowly made it's way inside me over the last 3 years but it just numbs it temporarily and then I'm left with the realization that I'm wasting my time with these pointless flings. I'm just hurting myself more. Its like when you go to a store and get a sample of something and you think "hey I should buy some more of this" but for some reason the guy just kinda says "nah no more for you" I doubt that's a good metaphor but whatever. I'm tired of falling with nobody there to catch me. Youd think by know I'd learn to catch myself or at least brace for the fall but I'm not there yet. I dont really know if I'll ever actually get there. I'm an overweight woman. Yeah whatever. I've lost weight, which is a real good plus to my health, and every day I'm fighting to bring that number down more. It hasnt really been an issue to my mental health since high school as I've dated off an on and had a few lasting relationships. But it does take a toll on making new relationships because people do get their impressions and that's fine. We all do.

I'm just scared that things will never change. That will be a slave to my illness forever. That everyday I'm getting closer to either an impulsive accidental death or just a mental breakdown that gets me sent away for good. I'm afraid of myself lately. I'm afraid of what I might say or do. I have nightmares that are literally me just rambling on to someone and them being annoyed. Silly right? Not to me. It definitely makes me aware that I talk to much, I overshare or that I'm just boring. Ever since the 3rd grade I knew I was annoying but I was just told "its nor your fault its your illness"

Is my illness who I am? Am i just a reflection of my parents bad DNA cursed to live a boring lonely worthless life? I fucking hope not but it's a scary thought that'll keep me up at night.

I dont openly talk about the fact that I have BPD to most people. But when i do they say they understand and care.

All i have to say to those people is, where are you now? Are you happier without me? I'm sorry..

Sometimes I sit awake until 8am just imaging fake scenarios in my head. I'm happy then. I feel safe in my head in those times. Almost as safe as I felt last year. Maybe this is all the bad karma catching up to me. Who am I to say? Can I keep up this act everyday? When will I wake up and just not be able to do my day to day things? I already cant fucking clean my own apartment, when will I stop going to work? Stop eating? It's happened before and I dont want to do it again. I want to be strong and believe that good things happen to those that wait but I dont really know when the last time a good thing happened to me. I guess if you want to count the people who are gone then maybe. Temporary happiness has helped but its not a cure all.

I just hope one day I meet someone who cares enough to stay. That's happy to see me and happy to hear me. I hope that person sees me for who I am and I can be myself and express myself without worry. I hope that person loves me the way I'll love them. And I hope that one day I will wake up and I wont be worried anymore. That my worries will be "what color should we paint the bathroom" or "what should we make for dinner"

I yearn for the simple things in life but in my experience I guess nothing is really simple. Some people just get a better hand at life. It's wrong of me to be jealous but I just cant help myself sometimes. I'd like a happy life. I'd like to be okay some day.

Maybe.

[hippyexd]

Pre-apocalypse Runner Five facts literally nobody asked for

Yeah another post with facts about my Five, but whatever I love it. (I will add comments like this at places where her characteristics are different from my own)

- Family: Mom, Dad, Brother who is 3 years younger than her. She is sure her brother is alive because he is 185cm pure muscle and has the accuracy and survival skill of a god. Her parents, not likely.

- Friends: got close with 3 people, but has a great group of 20 people she likes to talk to

- She is from Hungary but speaks english fluently, mainly because of youtube, fanfictions and watching movies/series

- She was visiting britain when the apocalypse happened (I've only been in London once but I loved it)

- Can ride a motorbike and had one back home (I can't and don't have one)

- Loves to doodle on amything she can, let it be paper, her own arm, other's arm...

- Easily gets sick when running in cold weather

- Loves oversized soft hoodies

- Doesn't really care she is a girl, she dresses as comfortable. No make-up, just at special occasions.

- Had her hair dyed twice (I just had my 3rd one, it's hella green, but I'll keep that light greenish blonde for Five cuz it suits her)

- Loves music, especially 80's rock/pop, metal, and some of the good dubstep ones. Hates boyband songs (honestly I love every genre, I just hate certain songs)

- Loves hot chocolate, hates coffee

- Appreciates the littlest things in life, like finding a four leaved clover (I'm very good at that), listening to the birds, or simple human kindness like she asked for one bite of food and you let her have more, or you save her a spot at the table.

- Loves staring at the stars, especially with someone she is comfortable with, and have long talks about literally anything

- Has a cacktai collection

- Infamous chicken nugget eating champion (I wish... I don't have enough money for chicken nugget (get the ref pls))

- Team Burger King

- Thinks while sitting in car/bus and staring outside, listening to music

- Played guitar for 4 years and tried piano, still remembers how to (I played piano for 4 years but I'm very out of practice and can't remember anything. Also I have a guitar but never really played it...)

- She's a happy/giggly/oversharing/talkative drunk

- Went to a shitton of concerts and festivals

- Cat person

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me

[sunstriderling]

5, 15, 24, 35, 58 ♥ :>

5. Who had the biggest positive impact on you?I. Could go a lot of ways with this - I could say my mom, who’s been the most patient and caring person in my life, or my friends, who’ve taught me everything in life, or the various men I’ve looked up to and grown comfortable with over the years who’ve taught me about being a man the way I want to be rather than the way others expect when my dad wasn’t there to do the job. Most recently, my gaming group for sure - they’ve been there with me through what has been the hardest time in my life so far, and they’ve each taught me something new about being a friend, being a member of a team, and they’ve helped me grow as a person, even though I’m still very much a work in progress and... don’t really know what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing.

15. Describe your ideal world.Abolish greed.

24. What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?I don’t feel brave often. I don’t - really remember a single occasion where I’ve felt brave, only a lot of times when I’ve felt incredibly scared but endured that and went through it. I would say, overall, the bravest period in my life was around six years ago; what I went through then took an insane amount of courage, and it was something the majority of people will never have to deal with, so I had neither a guide or a comfort in it. I had to do it alone, blindly trusting my own gut where nobody else could help me, and I think that... would probably do it.

Also, yo, my first and only tattoo was a full sleeve. While I was getting set up for the first linework on it, another tattooist in the shop walked in and looked at it and asked about my other tattoos and when I said I had none he chuckled to himself and went “good luck” and later, like multiple sessions later, that same guy was talking with my tattooist while he was working on me about how a lot of people come in for large projects like that and just drop off the face of the earth a while later, and also how not that many guys would be in for staying on the table for six hours a go like I was doing. Apparently most men are cowards when it comes to ink, lmao. I was also on medication at the time which made the ink literally just bleed out of my skin so that I had to basically sit through the same sessions multiple times for it to stick (I counted that overall, it took around 42 hours to complete the tattoo), some of which were... not so pleasant.

35. What are you proudest of?Making it to 26. I should be dead by now, but turns out, I’m hard to kill.

58. Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?The scariest fucking thing happened to me when I was a kid, around, I’d say 8 years old - we were playing a board game with my friend in my living room, the time was around half past two in the afternoon and my mom was still working so nobody else was home, when the fucking bookcase slammed open and there was this loud laughter that scared both me and my friend out of the house in the middle of the winter in our indoors clothing; we stood around without shoes on in the ankle deep snow until mom came back at four pm. I used to get a lot of shit like this as a kid, leading to me adopting a bunch of animals around the ages from 10 to 13 just to learn to ignore the weird ass shit that was going on in this house - there were often children’s running footsteps around 4am in my next door neighbour’s house, but she was old and all her children were adults and didn’t have kids, or footsteps passing doors, the sensation of presence nearby with chills when nobody was walking by, music distorting while I was playing my CDs that didn’t result from a broken player, etc. Literally the single biggest reason I have a bunch of animals to date is simply that I’d go crazy living alone in this place. I believe, to the extent that I believe, that if you choose not to sensitize yourself to the things that happen around you they’ll mostly ignore you in turn or they can’t get to you the way they can if you allow yourself to connect to them, so there’s that. So far, it’s worked.

Some nights, though, I still do get those feelings and even though my bedroom is offlimits to my furbags, I do recruit my dog to sleep next to me pretty often.

Overshare asks?

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - Winners and Losers

Final show curtain call messages!!!  Full post under the read more, read if you want spoilers!

I feel like I have to preface with the fact that I’m still crying, and that I need to pack because I fly home tomorrow, but the final show made me bawl my eyes out and I’m going to talk about curtain call mostly because it is significantly less painful and more cute than the show itself.  Those of you who follow me on Twitter have read most of this already but here we go!  

In mostly chronological order...

Shimada was the very first to give his mesage, and it was simple and to-the-point; a very standard message.  Shouri and Takato basically only gave their names and said thank you, no goofing around or anything since they were clearly extras in this show, and I think they wanted to give speaking time to the others.  So theirs went basically like this...

Shouri: Playing Kuroo Tetsurou, I’m Kondou Shouri.   Takato: Playing Kozume Kenma, I’m Nagata Takato. Shouri: Thank you for your support of Nekoma High School; thank you very much!

Then the both bowed.  Now, Takato coming in RIGHT after Shouri only said his name was very confusing and surprising actually so the audience laughed and gave out general sounds of confusion, but that was literally how short their messages were.  Then following on the heels of that, Judai and Sonde ruined the flow of messages for Seijoh because they went

Judai: Playing Matsukawa Issei, I’m Shirakashi Judai. Sonde: Playing Hanamaki Takahiro, I’m Kanai Sonde. Judai: Thank you for supporting the two of us!

Oikawa: (from down the stage) Oi!!! Wait!!  That’s my--

So where normally the captain of each team waits until everyone on the team has had a chance to say something before saying, ‘Thank you for your support of X school,’ Judai basically borrowed it to say thank you for the support of JUST THOSE TWO.  

Rest of Seijoh curtain calls then went as normal, though Kenshin got a nice awkward start following on Judai and Sonde’s heels.  Kousuke then messed up his captain’s message because he half-expected Judai to like... swoop in and steal the line from him, so he stuttered and faltered when he was supposed to say, “Thank you for your support of Aoba Johsai.”  

On Karasuno’s side, everyone took a little longer and said a little bit more.  Ukai and Takeda-sensei both spoke about how amazing everyone on the cast is and how hard they worked for this production, which was extremely difficult and really pushed them to their physical limits in many ways.  

Justin, of course, as usual, did the SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAA before then calling him Sunshine Hiroki.  There’s a really... weird... video to go with that now that I’ll post later, but Hiroki literally fell over onto the ground he was so embarrassed.  For Hiroki’s bit, he gave a standard message, then asked everyone in the audience to scream “Daisuki!!! (I love you)” for when he called out his own name.  I screeched it pretty loud NGL.  Ken-chan took his turn and gave a very heartfelt message about how this particular show showed him the most what it meant to be captain.  He was also half-crying and stumbling over his words and ended up rambling for a good chunk of it.  

Of course Kazuma asked for everyone’s applause in rhythm so that he could pose (half of Karasuno posed too!).  Shouhei gave a brief thank you before doing the SOI SOI SOI with Kouhei as always.  Kouhei called for the crowd to say TANAKA-SENPAIIII after he gives a cue.  It went kind of like,

“Who’s the senpai you can most rely on?” TANAKA-SENPAIII “Who’s the coolest?”  TANAKA-SENPAIII

And one more that I forgot, but he was very very happy to get all those people screaming his name.  I also screamed it pretty loud~

Kairi’s turn was fairly normal until he decided to kind of... yodel/yell his thank you, like “ARIGATOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU~” with his chest all puffed out like a weirdo; it was super cute.  Down the stage, Takato and Shouri started mimicking him and puffing out their chests lol.  

Then to pass it to Ryoutarou, he went, “Next is, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!  Kei!  Tsukishima Kei!” 

Then Ryoutarou... CRIED.  AGAIN.  He got maybe half a sentence in before his voice started breaking and then Kenta was just like, “Wait, really?!”

And Ryoutarou just whimpered, “I was trying to hold it in, but now I’m just crying!”  And everyone laughed and clapped and all my heart strings broke and he muddled his way through the rest of his message before passing it on to Tatsunari and Kenta.  

Now both of them were as professional as ever and got through their messages just fine before they all bowed and left the stage.  First encore brought everyone back onto the stage for another bow, and leaving the stage that time, the third-years decided to pull a fun pose off at the bottom of stage right.  

The second encore brought out just Kenta and Tatsunari, who came out happy but exhausted, and so they decided to just sit on the floor.  At this point, the audience was standing since we were clapping out a standing ovation, so Kenta just went,

“You guys can stand, and we’re just gonna sit for a bit.”

So the two of them sat next to each other on the stage with their knees pulled up to their chests and just rambled about the show, how tough it was, how hard it was to work on the choreography, how everyone around them stepped up their game... At one point Kenta tried to get Tatsunari to lower his knees so that he could I dunno, lie his head on them? But Tatsunari wasn’t having it, and Kenta tried to grab his hand to try and get up, but Tatsunari instead put his hand on Kenta’s shoulder so he could push himself to his feet eventually and then pulled Kenta to standing.  

Tatsunari maybe overshared about how hard it was to work on the show and how tired and frustrated he was some days, and Kenta scolded him for it lol.

Kenta: Nobody wants to hear that!  Anyway, this is taking too long, we’ve been making them stand for too long! Tatsunari: But, we’ve been standing for 3 hours...

Tatsunari and Kenta then do a leaping high-five, which Kenta turns into a hug, and then Tatsunari lifted him up and spun him around several revolutions, and they were laughing and smiling the entire time before Tatsunari finally put him down and I don’t think my heart has ever felt so full.

The applause continued until we pulled them out for a brief third encore where they gave a shorter thank you message before taking their bows and leaving the stage.  

And that was the final show curtain call!!!  I have a lot more I can say about that last show and all of the elements that were different between that run and the run I saw a week ago, but it’s also... almost 2am and I need to pack because I fly home tomorrow lol.  I see the asks I’ve been getting asking questions about other specific elements of the show, and I’ll get around to them I promise.  

[i-amusemyself]

All the stationary.

Ahhhh ty!!! I can’t tell if you wanna know that much bc you gaf or not though.....

Paranoia aside imma overshare either way!! *finger guns*

gel pen: when are you most comfortable?

I mean, I have anxiety so that just doesn’t happen much lmao! My first thought though was when I visit my favourite place, a little corner of a field with amazing views where I’m always on my own. I love it there.

ballpoint pen: tell me about the day you’ve just had

The day I’ve had was hell, so I’d rather relive yesterday.

Yesterday I woke up and binge watched supernatural; actually remembered to eat for once then was actually motivated enough to do revision. I got into hysterics over a tumblr post so quickly decided it was a day I should be avoiding hella emotional stuff....10 minutes later I was watching the last ever episode of prison break and sobbing uncontrollably at every word. In the afternoon I went out but not before losing my phone which was exactly where I left it. By that point though I was so late I had to speed walk at least 2 miles to the next village, where of course my friend arrived flanked by two pretty decent looking guys. I honestly looked like a tomato with water retention issues at that point so I’m sure that was a fabulous first impression. Then we got over to our revision session at the library early so went to the pub instead which was a dream; didn’t get any alcohol though because you can’t revise biology while hammered. Believe me. Then I stayed up late enough to get my ass whooped last night but it was so worth it because even though it turned into some sort of snapchat contest, I was laughing my ass off the whole time it was amazing. 

That enough of a day for you?fineliner: what’s your greatest achievement?

I used to train with the england basketball team, and I played for East Midlands. That was a pretty cool experience.highlighter: what are your best qualities?

Jfc, plural? Idk! I’m pretty motivated? And I always make an effort to tell the truth (if its good, otherwise I keep my mouth shut).

greylead: what is something you want to try for the first time?

Being attractive. Being loved. Need I go on? Oh and also giant zip-lining.felt-tip: describe your aesthetic

My bedroom looks like an ikea showroom lmfaooo so whatever that is. Weird architecture and cacti and random objects in neat little storage places.

But equally like, overgrown graveyards mixed with roses and anything black. Depends on my mood.crayon: your earliest childhood memory

Treading on a bee and having to have the sting removed from my foot lmao

scrapbook: something from your childhood that makes you smile

............um??

Okay there was this one time we found an old camera in the loft. I must’ve been 3 since my dad was still there. Anyway we all went out in the garden and it was such a normal little family thing, but it’s the only time I ever remember that happening. It’s got my parents waving and looking happy and me sticking my head out from inside a little wendy house grinning and it’s so cute. It’s the sort of thing I wish I’d had more of.

sketching pad: describe yourself from a stranger’s point of view

A lanky thing approaches. It has a stereotypical lesbian haircut, bad eyesight and appears to have given up on all things fashionable. It’s shy and awkward, so makes you feel extremely uncomfortable too. It appears to be reasonably friendly, but occasionally says things that don’t make a single bit of sense before desperately looking around the room looking for more small talk inspiration. You’re overall impression is it’s a pretty boring human being, probably totally harmless, but would be incredibly easy to replace.notebook: what’s your favourite quote?

I have a couple of little quotes I remind myself of on a daily basis, ranging from song lyrics; “darling you’ll be okay” and “the sun will rise and we will try again” to “pick your fights” and “you gotta give a bit of yourself to get something in return”. I kinda live my life by those.paper: what kind of book would you write?

I have absolutely no idea! I can’t see myself ever having the motivation to write a book.stapler: out of all the people you know, who do you think you are closest to?

My best friend @only-slightly-dangerous who literally knows me so well it’s scary! She can literally message me out of knowhere and know from 3000 miles away if I’m in pain.glue stick: what do you look for in a lasting relationship/friendship?

I can’t be dealing with people that lie or are fake or whatever. So definitely honesty. Also people just being themselves and not being afraid to be weird or whatever, because that’s when I relax a bit lmao! I guess a decent sense of humor too? And someone that doesn’t mind you asking questions or whatever. Idk. Sometimes you just click with people without being about to put it down to a specific characteristic.tape: tell me about your longest friendship

It wasn’t very long. 

I mean I had “friendships” through all of primary school but that doesn’t really feel like it counts. Secondary school? The first girl I made friends with and was really close to for 5 years is now like,,, someone I honestly can’t even stand to hear about soooruler: what line will you never cross?

I could never cheat. eraser: what do you consider to be your biggest mistake?

I’m not sure. Maybe not standing up for myself more at school and at home. There have been occasions where it would have been totally reasonable but I just shut up and let shit happen so I’ve spent a lot of time beating myself up about that stuff.

Also, and I know I shouldn’t but, I still spend a lot of time thinking about a boy at our school who killed himself and I never knew him but I still wonder if I could have done anything.scissors: ever had a bad break-up?

Nothing hella nasty but I don’t really talk to any of my ex’s at all.calculator: list fifteen things that make you happy

Lmaooo I’ll do my best!! Okay so music; concerts; friends; seeing other people laughing; making people laugh; stand up comedy; hella good art; hearing people tell stories; sitting and listening in the middle of knowhere; thunderstorms; exploring; helping people; good food; the sound of rain on the roof; cuddling and tumblr.protractor: an unpopular opinion/angle you have on an issue

Pinapple is good on pizza.sticky note: something about yourself you’d like to change

I feel like I have no personality so like,,,I wish that could be better. I wish I was pretty. Or attractive or whatever. Oh and I wish I could sing those hella high notes because I feel sorry for the neighbours atm.stamp: a date that’s special for you and why

25th March because that’s the day my life changed just enough for me to carry on.bookmark: a book that means a lot to you and why

I always just say Numbers, but honestly it was the first ever book I cried at and I feel like it helped me understand the world a little more.folder: describe your family

How long do you have? I mean, it’s quite a small family but I’m not that close to any of them. Most of them are just pretty conservative living in little nuclear families. I didn’t used to get on too well with my dad but we’ve got a lot closer. I still don’t get on with my mum very well though bc she’s abusive. welp. whiteboard: tell me your plans for tomorrow

I’m gonna die a slow, painful death by revision and then recover when I go to my dad’s and walk Borris.blackboard: tell me about a memory that has affected who you are today

All those memories are locked away in a place I can’t get to and I think it’s best to keep it that way for now.

A low key one is probably when a friend once told me nobody cared about me or what I had to say and I’ve basically been mute in most social situations since XDpinboard: what are you focusing on in your life right now?

Exams. A level exams. Just one more month and I’m freeeee!!!tablet: tell me your plans for the future

Start a fresh life at uni and get this degree. Then who knows? I’ll probably go and get another degree and I’m pretty sure I’ll end up doing medicine.stencil: who are your role models?

I don’t have very many. Kaitlyn Alexander for sure, because they really helped me understand who I am and start to accept it. Also Luke Cutforth because I love his YouTube channel but also a lot of things he’s done related to mental health have been helpful and I relate a lot.envelope: tell me a secret

I’m going to my end of year prom in a shirt and tie and I haven’t told anyone yet and I’m scared shitless. I’m still gonna do it though!!