#litle chaos thoughts

[little-chaos-arts]

Okay I'm now almost done with Sunrise on the reaping .... I still feel like I can't quite grasp it....

I'm still really curious to see how it ends, right now I can't really pinpoint what I think of it....

It was definitely different than what I expected, and did surprise me quite a few times....also some scenes were really nicely done I think

Still I'm unsure about everything connecting but I'm sure I'll see that when I reach the end.

[sunshineangel0]

-late night adrenaline.. ☾

pairing– han jisung x reader summary– after a suffocating day, the walls start closing in, and you need an out. so, naturally, you show up at jisung’s doorstep in the middle of the night, throwing your car keys at him. fast cars. empty roads. music so loud it rattles through your bones. it’s supposed to help, supposed to clear your head. but nothing—not the speed, not the wind whipping past—drowns out the fact that jisung sees right through you. genre– friends to lovers, slow burn, high tension, late night recklessness word count– 2.5k warnings– mentions of stress/overwhelm, dangerous levels of tension, reckless driving, suppressed feelings finally snapping, intense first kiss, mutual pining, jisung being unfairly attractive while behind the wheel. a/n- so. i wrote this yesterday evening after a fight with my boyfrined so it may be a litle angsty (sorry). hope you enjoy it anyways babes. also, i accidentally published this on the wrong acc, so here is take number two.

It’s one of those nights—an unbearable weight of stress compresses against your chest, squeezing your ribs until breathing feels like a challenge. The walls of your apartment seem to inch closer, threatening to swallow you whole, while your thoughts clamor noisily in your head, refusing to quiet down. Restlessness buzzes beneath your skin, making it impossible to stay put.

You don’t even know where to start.

It’s everything. All at once.

You're drowning in work, deadlines looming ominously, the weight of responsibility pressing down like an unyielding vice. Each task you complete seems to multiply into three more, a relentless cycle that leaves you questioning if you'll ever catch up. No matter how hard you push yourself, it's never quite enough.

Then there's your personal life—an entangled mess you can't quite face. Texts go unanswered, calls are ignored, plans canceled because the thought of dealing with people feels insurmountable. Everyone seems to want something from you, pulling you apart in every direction, leaving you utterly exhausted.

And then there's Han.

Han, your best friend, the one you've secretly loved for five long years. Han, who never demands but somehow intensifies your turmoil just by being there—those dark, knowing eyes seeming to peer into your very soul, hearing what you never dare to say. Han, who dates other girls but never really commits, leaving you in a limbo of hope and despair. Han, who treats you like you're something more but never takes that crucial step.

You're caught in a whirlwind of exhaustion and restlessness, feeling on the brink of breaking apart. The thought of staying still for even a moment longer is unbearable, yet moving forward seems just as impossible. You're torn, unsure if confronting these feelings will bring relief or only deepen the chaos.

So you do the only thing you can think of.

You grab your keys and go.

Fifteen minutes later, you find yourself standing at Jisung's doorstep, your heart hammering violently against your ribs as your knuckles strike the solid wood with a desperate urgency, defying the screaming impulse to flee. The door bursts open, and there stands Jisung, blinking in bewilderment, his expression an electrifying blend of confusion and intrigue as he absorbs your chaotic state—hair whipped into a frenzy by the wind, eyes blazing with intensity. Without uttering a single word, you hurl your car keys toward him with a flick of your wrist, the silence between you thick with unspoken tension.

He arches an eyebrow but catches them effortlessly, his fingers curling around the cool metal. “Uh… hello to you too?” he says, a hint of amusement tinged with concern in his voice.

“No talking. Just get in,” you demand, your voice edged with urgency and an undercurrent of something raw and restless, like a storm about to break. It sends a shiver down his spine, an electric charge in the air.

For a second, he hesitates, his eyes lingering on your tense figure. Not because he doesn’t want to follow—he always does—but because he can almost see the crackling energy swirling around you like a brewing storm. Your fingers twitch restlessly at your sides, like a coiled spring ready to snap, as if you're on the verge of punching something or bolting out the door. Jisung exhales sharply, the sound slicing through the charged air, then he snatches his hoodie from the couch and trails after you without another word.

The cityscape blurs by in a muted rush as you speed along the highway. The usual city noise is subdued, reduced to a low hum as streetlights streak past like scattered stars, casting brief, glowing halos through the car windows. Jisung grips the steering wheel firmly, his knuckles pale in the dim glow, driving with his signature style—quick and efficient, yet with a touch of caution. Normally, he's in control, but tonight there's a different energy in the air.

The car's speakers thrum with heavy bass, each beat pulsing through the seats, merging with the thunderous growl of the engine. It creates a cocoon of sound that isolates you both from the world outside, intensifying the charged atmosphere inside the vehicle. The faint scent of leather mingles with the crisp night air that sneaks in through the slightly open windows, carrying a hint of something almost smoldering, like the promise of something about to ignite.

"Drive faster," you urge, your voice barely cutting through the blaring music

. Jisung casts a quick glance at you, his jaw set. "Y/N, I'm already pushing almost 100 miles per hour,"

he snaps, his tone fraught with urgency. But you fire back instantly, your words sharp and impatient, "Clearly, it's not enough."

“Y/N, for God's sake, what’s going on? What the hell happened?” H

His voice quivers with raw concern as his knuckles turn white, gripping the steering wheel with a desperate intensity.

“I’m fine,” you murmur, your eyes fixed on the blur of landscape racing by, your voice a ghostly whisper.

“No, you’re not,” he presses, his brow furrowed and his eyes wide, filled with alarm. “You just told me to go faster when we’re already tearing through the speed limit. Are you trying to get us killed?”

"I'm fine, Jisung. I just need to clear my head, that's all," you insist, your voice strained, struggling to sound convincing.

Jisung’s gaze remains locked on you, worry etched deep into his features. "Tell me what’s wrong, or I’m pulling over," he demands, his voice a mix of firmness and gentle resolve.

You feel the tension in your body as your fingers curl tighter around the worn fabric of your jeans. You turn your head slowly to look at him. The streetlights whip past, casting sharp, fleeting shadows across his face. You can see the way his jaw is set, the hard line of his determination. His knuckles are white, gripping the steering wheel with a force that betrays his worry.

"Keep driving," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

For a while, he obliges. The car speeds down the highway, the engine humming beneath the loud, rhythmic thump of the music that fills the space between you. It’s a familiar escape—driving too fast, the music too loud, pretending the weight of your thoughts is just a whisper in the wind. But eventually, the car slows, and Jisung pulls over onto the gravel shoulder, the tires crunching softly beneath you. The engine idles quietly, and the night air seeps in through the cracked window, cool and expectant.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just shifts the car into park with a soft click and leans back against the seat, eyes fixed on the empty stretch of asphalt ahead. The silence is suffocating, a heavy blanket smothering all other sounds. Outside, the world feels frozen in time—only the gentle hum of cicadas fills the air, and the distant, sporadic flicker of neon signs from a lonely gas station punctuates the night.

Inside the car, the tension is palpable, thick enough to make breathing a struggle. Jisung remains motionless, his fingers gripping the steering wheel as if preparing for an unseen collision. The music plays softly in the background, a faint, steady rhythm that fails to distract from the oppressive weight of the unspoken words hanging heavily between you.

You can feel his gaze on you, a palpable weight that you choose to ignore. Your forehead leans against the cool, misted surface of the window, and your eyes are fixed on the dark horizon stretching beyond the highway.

But then—

"Y/N."

His voice is quiet, yet there's a sharpness to it, like a blade edge barely concealed beneath a velvet sheath. There's something raw, something unyielding in the way he says your name. You swallow hard, feeling the dryness in your throat. “What?”

Jisung lets out a sudden, frustrated breath, his hands finally loosening their tight grip on the steering wheel. He shifts in his seat, turning his body slightly towards you, determination etched into his posture. “Look at me.”

You hesitate, your fingers tracing the seam of your jeans. The seconds stretch, filled with the hum of the engine and the rhythmic thump of the tires against the road.

He waits.

When you finally muster the courage to turn, his eyes—dark and intense—are pinned to you with a force that makes your chest constrict. He looks at you as though he's peeling back every layer, seeing through every flimsy excuse, every half-hearted "I'm fine" you've ever tossed his way. His gaze says he already knows the truth, but he's patiently waiting for you to find the strength to voice it yourself.

But you can’t.

You don’t know how.

So you do what you do best. You deflect.

"You didn’t have to pull over," you murmur, shifting your gaze to the dashboard, anywhere but him. "I just needed to—"

"Needed to what?" His voice is quiet, but there’s a bite to it, something pressing, something fraying at the edges. "Race through the city like you’re running from something? Pretend like you’re fine when you’re clearly about to break?"

Your breath catches. “I don’t need you to fix me, Ji.”

His jaw tightens. “I never said I did.”

The words sit between you like an open wound, bleeding, aching.

You close your eyes for a second, inhaling deeply. The night air slips through the barely-open window, but it does nothing to cool the heat creeping up your neck. The words slice through the space between you, raw and aching, like an open wound that neither of you have the strength to ignore anymore.

And then Jisung shifts closer. Not much. Just enough for you to feel it. And suddenly, the space between you feels unbearably small. His presence a slow-burning fire licking at your edges. Jisungs hand lifts, hesitant at first, before his fingers ghost over yours, a barely-there touch that sends something electric racing up your spine. You freeze. His thumb brushes lightly against the back of your hand, tracing slow, aimless circles. It’s soft. It’s careful. But somehow, it feels louder than the pounding of your heart, louder than the music still humming in the background.

“Just tell me,” he murmurs, his voice softer now. "Whatever it is, I can take it."

His words wrap around your ribs, tightening. You want to tell him. You want to tell him that it’s not just the stress, not just the deadlines or the exhaustion or the way the world keeps demanding more from you. It’s him. It’s always been him. It’s the way he’s been your constant for five years, the way he’s the only person who can read you like an open book. It’s the way he looks at you—like you matter, like you belong, like you’re his even if he’s never said the words. It’s the way he’s never crossed the line, but he’s always stood so damn close to it that you’ve spent years wondering if he ever would. It’s five years of wanting, five years of aching, five years of pretending that this friendship is enough. It’s the unbearable ache of wanting him.

And suddenly, the air inside the car is too thick, too heavy.

You don’t think. You don’t second-guess. You just move.

Before either of you can process it, your hands are tangling in the fabric of his hoodie, pulling him closer. Jisung barely has time to react before your lips crash into his— messy, burning, rough and desperate, a wildfire consuming everything in its path. With something neither of you are ready to name.

He makes a sound—soft, surprised—but then he’s gripping. The sound swallowed by the way he presses you closer. One hand tangles into your hair, fingers threading through the strands, tilting your head back just enough for him to deepen the kiss. The other finds your waist, curling tight, pulling you closer like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go.

The kiss is nothing like you imagined. It’s not soft. It’s not careful. It’s reckless—like an open flame. It’s adrenaline and burning rubber on pavement and breaking every unspoken rule. It’s five years of tension snapping in an instant, five years of stolen glances and almosts unraveling between his teeth. It’s the taste of midnight air and unspoken confessions, the kind of kiss that leaves no room for doubt.

When you finally pull away, both of you breathless and wide-eyed, the world outside feels eerily still, as if it, too, is holding its breath.

Jisung stares at you, lips parted, eyes dark and stormy. His chest rises and falls heavily, like he’s struggling to process what just happened.

And then—

Jisung exhales sharply, a breathless sound that’s half-laugh, half-disbelief. He drags a hand through his already-messy hair, his fingers tangling at the roots as if he needs something to ground himself. His lips are still parted, kiss-swollen, the ghost of your touch lingering there like an unanswered question.

"Holy shit."

Your hands remain clenched in the fabric of his hoodie, knuckles white, as if releasing him means accepting the weight of what just happened. Your pulse is a violent drum against your ribs, your lungs burning like you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

"Yeah."

The word barely escapes, a whisper carried away by the hush of the night.

Silence stretches between you, no longer suffocating but something else entirely—something that crackles, something that waits. The only sound is the steady tick of the cooling engine, the soft hum of the radio playing a song neither of you are really hearing. The air in the car has thickened, charged with something electric, something inevitable.

Jisung is staring at you, his gaze dark and unreadable, his chest rising and falling in uneven waves. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips, and you follow the movement, pulse jumping, skin prickling. His eyes flicker down to your mouth again—once, twice—before dragging back up, locking onto yours.

And that’s when you realize.

You don’t regret it.

Not even for a second.

His fingers twitch against his thigh, and before you can think, his hand moves—slow, tentative, yet deliberate. The rough pad of his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, tracing lazy circles, sending a shiver rippling through your entire body. It’s nothing, barely a touch—but it’s everything.

You exhale shakily, the sound catching in your throat, your grip finally loosening on his hoodie. He notices. Of course, he does.

Jisung’s lips part, his voice low, careful. “So… do we talk about this, or do I just keep driving?”

His tone is light, teasing, but there’s a slight waver to it—an edge of hesitation, a quiet vulnerability that tugs at something deep inside you.

Your breath hitches. Your heartbeat stumbles, then picks up again, harder, faster.

You could talk about it. You could dissect every moment, lay everything out on the table, risk everything you’ve built with him over the last five years. But the thought of breaking this fragile, raw moment terrifies you.

Instead, you bite your lip, eyes never leaving his.

"Drive," you murmur.

Then he spoke. Softer, deadlier—"But don’t you dare run from this." The smirk that tugs at his lips is slow, almost dangerous—like he knows exactly what youre about to say. Like he’s daring you to hold him to it. His fingers tighten slightly around yours, a promise, a warning, a silent challenge.

"Not a chance." you whisper.

And then, just like that, he’s moving.

The engine growls back to life, the soft rumble vibrating through your seat. Jisung’s hands find the wheel again, steady now, but his knuckles are still faintly pale, his pulse still erratic beneath his skin. The car eases back onto the highway, tires rolling smoothly over the asphalt, but the energy inside the vehicle has irrevocably changed.

The city lights blur past, neon reflections casting shifting patterns over his skin. You watch him out of the corner of your eye—the sharp angle of his jaw, the tension still coiled in his shoulders, the way his fingers tap absently against the wheel like he’s thinking, processing, feeling.

You exhale, letting your head drop back against the seat, the adrenaline still humming through your veins.

Outside, the world rushes past in a blur of midnight hues.

Inside, the two of you are no longer just running.

This time, you know exactly where you’re headed.

©sunshineangel0 𖹭 if you liked this work, please consider reblogging, commenting or liking! xoxo franzi 💋

[howlingmod]

oh that is such. a wonderful imagination of yours ^^DDD LITLE TELAMON NN N !!! ,,!! hes sk mysterious ilkke it. but iirc,, hes labeled as the god of robloxia or sometjing - but what i actually remember vividly is that hes the santa of robloxia as well . so i dunno <</(( but boy do k love your take on him... lottle shed ❤️

-glaggle anon

HUH ! inch resting ... i always figured that would more be the role of builderman but i guess that makes sense ... mayhaps there's room for duality here, there's an argument to be made for imagination and creativity being two different but important parts of robloxia, making them god-like figures with telamon representing creativity and builder imagination . i thought i had reasons for this but not particularly, they could also be something like chaos and order with 'blame john' making telamon chaos and the ban hammer being more associated w/ builder making him order. i dunno! .

i still stand by tela being a younger shed i just think it works best. it makes tela becoming shed / a more ordinary person a fun bit of development. i think it reflects the wide variety of people that make up robloxia and taking inspiration from others to make something yourself (or, in this case, change as a person) . i would have 2 look more into the lore / character itself because all i really know him for is what he looks like and the manor. so. scratches head

[amanminushkusunminush]

schooling. new world conceiving. steampunking. homecoming. private investigating. biochemiphysimathsing.

and then you go

and you work at burger king. you go from frankensteining your ass off to sweating the grill.

now this may seem like a downgrade but think again: you can now make a burger for the whole galaxy (woman). and b-kun. b-kun-sama. god bless.

i struggle to think of what the fuck could posssibly come next (if anything does. campaigns are being stretched out way more than they used to bc money. there isnt as much money in arcades as there used to be i think. they are dying bc they arent getting as much turnout these days bc this is a godless world we live in. but ipray we get to game 30 before pop'n ends because i selfishly want another hip rock. or an original KK track lol.)

what themes could be possibly interesting that we havent covered yet. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhpop'n music: revenge of the CS where we pull every mother fucker who never reprised after their songs were relegated to home console releases and give them a spotlight.

i'm kidding. (i'm not. fucking. return to me my dear sweet akemi.) ahahahahahaa uh hfudhduhuuuuuuhhhhhhh.

oh shit wait. i may have something.

consider>>>>

pop'n music: dan dan dannmaku (bear with me). incidentally reimu touhouu and marisa touhou are real characters here but i die grass. a popn where all the pop kuns become poisoned or otherwise fucked up bc some new villain is trying to take ovr the popn world. the new game is to avoid the now evil litle macaron like the plague (on beat duh) until MZD can remedy an asskicking for the responsible parties. the buttons in the cabinet glow by default until you hit them. some bastards take advantage of the chaos and try to make a business of selling protection.. ojama is now more specialised like attacks and you can counter ojama using your player characters innate power along with counter spells you collect while clearing songs. you slowly boost y our powers as the unlocks continue and events include but are not limiteed to characters who have come under the control of the villain who fight you for access to MZDs power. there is a story mode like in lapistoria ft. miminyami getting to the bottom of things and saving the world from rotting (remember that pop kuns are vital to popn world health. my fucking god there was a breeding problem in lapistoria and it was armageddon if not for tsugidoka.). decoparts are still intact because i think its funny to give everyone ribbons and toast and shit. in addition there is a new character (it seems theres only one per game nowadays.) that ISNT the villain who is supposed to be helping you but turns out in the end to be the biggest bitch of all. they have an EX49 with a downright stupid chart. to go backto my CS wish fulfillment idea: CS bitches with no swag (cards, normal or rare or ani) get swag during this campaign. wondering where poto or hayata are? wonder no longer mama youre covered. this card connect, change cards theme participating charactters after like. their spirit animals or something. maybe even doing them up like wizards or something. we're also doing more fan submission competitions for new songs . every time i see it it has fun results. bring that back too.

fuckkk this is embarrassing i thought i had more ideas for game concepts until i realised half of them have been covered already. but i mean shit. if you can have a cafe party and then have a diner party then it is reasonable you can have a travel party (11) and then be more specific about where you go. there should be a game where you go around continental africa. africa party. or austrailia if we really are that scared to alienate players with africa. come on though please? it could be so fucking cool? onegaishimasu konami. you can do it come on boobear. you jsut have to believe in yourself.

i mean you could also make the otome game real. the dating sim. give some purpose to that one dakimakura. popn music: lovesong. they were trying to lay groundwork for that in fuckin hello!popn with the email system and the tokimeki meter and shit. legiitimise it. fans can and will use their e passes to sign in to a world where they can pretend they are going steady with The. Hip Rock Samurai. if this is too much of a dedication to arcades then the otome game can be for steam and consoles with progressive dlc. has the potential to be the funniest set of expansion packs ever written to code.

words and words and words later and this post STITTITIITTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL doesnt havea point. april fools.

[solardick]

Hurry up and syart ww3 already. Instead of sissy slapping each other. Sanction this and sanction that. You think Iran goves a shit?

I want to watch a missile fly over canada and hit my apartment building.

We’re all peace and love bitch. But we’ll sanction youninto a suicidal depression if we font likebyou.

It’ll be just endless years going back and forwards as far as the eye can see. Nervous tension. In a system at the core and perimeter of existence.

Nervous system. Get it?

Stupid fucken pills dont even work.

Wow that demon that leapt in with my mother sure did fuck that family up. That added to the….. i hate my fathers family. They’re just i dont know off. Don’t know much at all about family. Not at all. Indont know any of them. My little brother some. There was some good bonding there. Litle sis too. But she only comes accompanied by a parent. The story goes

Like this. The cast away from the mother and the tragic death of a brother. Both narative drive together and merge into the offspring. Its collective karma. The chosen one, will bare all the weight of all their bs. Two naratives that flow togwther tangle together and create together something from them. This is not to be primarly thought of as genes. Or dna or whatever all that crap is. Its more of being beyond the physical. Maybe meta maybe no. No where near all that.

And the story goes quite literaaly as the cast away whi dies tragically. The fool from the father the arroganve from the mother.

And has nothing to do with me. I want it to go away. But. Sadly. Trajjixally as it is. Brushed off the shoulder cuz ya too much a pussy to own it.

Welcome to life mother fucker.

No one cares. No one knows you. And neither are you spart of the decisions for your life. Thats fantastic. The entire reality from birth on. What am i suposed to do with all of it. I can see all the “building” from media. How ot all flows together to mind control. Or more as in a means of a path from given asdociates that later play into life experiences. And then one has fate” wispering in your ear.

Four sibblings. Middle child. The dot in the center of five. The dot in the center is chaos. A dark reverberating orb. And is a phase. The cutting of. That which is past and future. Finally a girl!

Tarot card five is the pope. Two and two? One white priestess one black priestess. Or perhaps better termed the Hall. To russian its the tower.

Dont beleive ehat i say, o got that lying disease thing. Got a do it.

The chances of finding someone to share life with has gone down to about 5%.

🎶Im gonna be dead, im not surviving. Im gonna be dead. Im not…🎶

At least im not shitting mucous anymore. Still. My sanity is draining. Focus and attention. Gone. This keeps up. Im gonna need assisted living.

Lets see if i survive to my next birthday. Not even depression season yet.

Intellectual motivation gone. Esoteric motivation gone. External acheivemtnet motivarion gone. I wanted someone to do it with me. A fair delicate touch. The voice of command to subtlety. Becaus eif i do it. If i try to do it. Its not going to pan out. 30 years have taught me that. Locked out of life. Then i tried. And i got raped. So. I dont know if i want to try anymore.

Scorpio is nothing but criminal and bs. Iam a lesser person anyway. How ive always been treated. The quip sense of elation to superiority. Scorpio. Or simply hilding a power of someones soul. Gives a sense of grandeur. So ive seen.

Ive seen that expression often enough that theres an extended sense for it.

I dont know people. There zero life there. So much “energy” rippling through the consciousness. Not something i know. A functional relationship. Never had one really. Here and there perhaps. Ow everyone knows me for who there are. All holding inside information. Nothing is direct. Its too dangerous. You go for direct and they shot you down. They may attack you. Put themselves over me. Domination. Someone always has some heavy leaning of power when it comes to my person. Always. This is no different just a grandeur scale of what always was. They think the hold that power and they trip on it. But they don’t. Just pons.

Pons are maniacs. They kill or they sacrifice. Or they cockblock the king.

I used to go

Buy a dvd once teice a week and the guy in the store started stalking me. Shadowing me trying to seize an opportunity to exort his will over mine.

Some gay guy also started bashing me in. Because i didnt want him to blow me.

Wearing an hawieen shirt, i dont know how to spell it, and some fag basher started giving me a hard time by exerting his influence.

I can go on at length.

Playing hide and seek as a kid. Brother found me. But he prettended he didn’t. And he kept walking by. Did that a few times.

Ok ill stop……

Ive soemt everyday for most of my life fearing for my life. Now theyr trying to rob the rest of my life with more perversion. Ill mever know whatbits loke to be a person.

Well as weary as i am about the bible’s goal of passifying and subordinating mankind.

And it seems the only life i get to have is one of secrecy. Have to prevtend like i dont exist. Kept the evil at bay. And do nothing or ill be attacked for no reason. 40 years on the reveiving end of people eill to

Dominate. So i cant be a man. Because thats part and parcel of being one. Apparently. I dont know. Ive never been human. A reason why i have cock written on my forehead. Cuz thats all that matters. Thats all people

See of me. Eat the rooster. Call the sunrise. Bring a new day into the world. Apparently not. My day. They just seem to be sucking the brains out of my head. Makes me more malleable. Im not even allowed to learn how humans are like. Its just solitude and watrangement. Caus they all evil. And the good is juat absent.

But, i question somethign else. How does it work? Its like inhad the system. Whatever that is. Speaking through me to me. Prophetic intimate knowledge. As i walk through the valley and am touched by providence.

Providence is a word ive really ever used. Though it should have over the last several years. I can see how someone would say “its your higher self” whatever that means. But what about the providence. You cannot understand the pressence of an entity. Presence fits better. And then past that there a whole world pretending yo be it. And your like….. nothing.

[simthorium]

While the first half of generation 8 was growing up into children and teenagers, there were still plenty of babies and toddlers to go around. Noah’s at-home nursery for his own children, nieces, and nephews was an absolute zoo, and only got more crowded the older the kids in the generation got.

Sequoia was definitely a social butterfly, spending most of her time hugging on her cousins. Hendrix, who was also always in need of attention, gravitated toward her too, and the two were often getting into trouble.

Kiara was more reserved, and liked spending time watching her other cousins. Aspen spent most of his days playing on the xylophone, which was always a big hit with the other babies.

“How the hell do you guys keep escaping!?” Noah exclaimed as Kiara, Lily, and Jamie somehow made their way out to the front yard. “Y’all’s parents are gonna kill me if they find out you've outsmarted me again.”

Noah scooped up the three girls and hurried them back inside, making sure to close every window and door to keep the kids from escaping yet again. The house was a mess, bottles and baby food strewn across the floor, but the chaos was normal at this point, and he had pretty much gotten used to it.

Sometimes conflict between the kids would arise, and Noah often felt like it was best to let them work it out themselves. When Kiara tried to snatch the bottle straight out of Zion’s mouth, he thought it might be a good lesson for him to stand up for himself.

That, and he wanted to make sure his line up was still looking good.

At 3 o clock on the dot, Leo and Rory rushed home from the school bus. Having a house full of toddlers to torment was pretty awesome, and they often couldn’t wait to come home from school to mess with their little cousins.

“Betcha can’t reach this!” Leo said, laughing as he held a toy car right out of his baby cousin’s reach. Lily whined and cried, trying her hardest to snatch the toy back, but she was just too litle.

“Enough, guys,” Noah said, finally taking his job seriously. “What?” Leo asked, tossing the toy aside. “We were just playing. Good to see you dad. Hope you guys had a good day.” He threw his arms around his dad, an easy way to ensure his dad would be distracted. Rory hopped up on the couch, jumping up and down to survey his land of tiny babies. The twins may have been older, but they were just as destructive and chaotic as the rest of their cousins.

[islandofmuses]

"Oh come on, you're an easy targget, plus its so funny when they get stuck on your hair," Avery teases with a chuckles as he moves out of the way of the flying pick. "You're welcome," Avery chuckles, "I'll take it right off your lips if I have to, it's just nasty."

"Yes, you do thought--" Avery shugs a little,"I'm not sure you would've told me not to do it, because like, there were 0 red flags from her."

"You can fucking say that again!" Avery sigh, shaking his head, "I don't know, man, you guys keep telling me sleeping with friends its a good way to get feelings, but--it worked so far!" it was only when he tried with strangers he'd end up in these situations, "Oh and she also grabbed my shirt in the middle of the chaos, so I had to...come home shirtless...not my best fucking moment..." he shake his head, really not something he wanted to remember, "No I--I mean I want you around but I need to--stop being suck a fucking baby and do things on my own--I just wish this was easier, you know? like, I'm trying to--get out there and--huh--not as fun as I thought," he half jokes with a laugh. "Kinda, he knock me around a litle bit, I didn't want to fight back, 'cause like--I almost slept with his wife? I am supposed to just--kick his ass too?" he sighs, "Remember when I had the stomach flu? yeah, that was a lie, sorry. I was just too fucking embarrased and didn't want to have to explain the busted lip, plus my ribs got a little messed up too..."

" Hey! No throwing the pick at me little cousin!" Tyler throws it back at Avery, grin on his lips." Yeah, yeah, I know how you are, even worse then your dad- Every time I pick up a cigarette I can hear the both of you in my head telling me off on how bad it is for me and my voice."

Ty hums." Fine, I do have better judgment then you." He chuckles at that not being able to tease his cousin a little, he didn't want to give him a hard time but he had to learn somehow.

Tyler frowns slightly, whatever had happened that night clearly had some effect on Avery, he seemed uncomfortable." Okay, go on." He listens as the other goes, of course this would happen to Ave the one time he decides to let loose." Oh my fucking God, Ave." He pushes his hair back, shaking his head." Why is it that you have the worst luck when it comes to stuff like this? I swear something always happens! No wonder you need me around-" Tyler breaths in." Are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?"

[bluereo]

My brain is empty again. I'm working on a Orion on Earth!AU but in the meantime.

I present you with Trio of Chaos.

Megatronus, Orion Pax and Soundwave. And how messed up beggings of Decepticons were.

Its nearly canon but i like them s litle bit more feral then what was said in series. Basicly they are gay and want to overthrow goverment.

They literaly started with zero knowledge how to do it. They were improvising all the time.

They just literaly woke up one cycle, meet up and thought. Okay. Time to start revolution.

Anyway. I will drop some memes and if someone is interested i will try to write something.

Chaos trio memes!!!

(Pictures mostly finded in internet. They dont belong to me)

If you want more memes or story behind them let me know. Its not enough to write whole ff but some headcanons or shorts are posible

[hailkingphantom]

dp x dc

Damian's playboy brother

Damian's brother (and sister) found out something

Best say it, someone

Damian has a brother, an older brother. And he didn't tell them. They are fucking furious curious

They only discovered because he says:

"My brother is coming, behave."

With that the chaos started

Bruce choked with nothing, the table erupt in questions, screams and almost no one answer.

"BRAT, DO YOU HAVE OTHER BROTHER APART OF US?!" Tim yelled

"IS YOUR BIO BRO?!"

"Litle bird, why didn't tell us?" dick asks

"Yes, damian, why you never said it?" Bruce asks in a solemn tone, half angry half hurt

Damian looked away and said, "brother asks me to not, you should ask him the rest. He is coming to visit for a day, so, don't ruin it"

After that Bruce lock himself in the Batcave and didn't go out for all day

_________________________________________________

Tim wasn't nervous

He just was understandingly attentive

Damian's brother is coming, the brother of the brat who try to kill him before, he didn't try no more but still. You can't expect him to relax when someone who can probably try to kill you is coming.

"Timmy, chill. Damian says that his brother is a kind person, sure that he won't try to kill you as first impression"

"I never thought that a ten years old kid would try to kill me, but there is Damian" he can see how dick make a wince, then look like Jason was going to say something when-

"TUCK! I'm not that obvious!" Someone on the other side of the street scream

"Sorry Danny, but you are!" A teen respond this have black skin, glasses and dark brown hair. Opposite to his companny who had blue eyes, light skin and messy raven hair, he makes a pout and glare his friend(?). Then they talk a little more a 'Danny' give to other guy kiss in the cheek.

'A couple, huh..', nothing really relevant

_________________________________________________

Jason don't know what think

He was adopted by Batman slash Bruce wayne, became in robin, died, revive, became in Red hood, fight with Batmam, reconnect with Batman, get a new brat brother who is also Bruce bio son and then found out that they said brat have a brother. His life is a mess.

Dick dragged him and tim to a 'family reunion', more like the game of 'who can calm Tim'. Tim was nervous with reason, the brother of someone who try to kill you is not the best impression. It's not like he can talk though. His train of thought was cut off when someone collides with him.

"Oh-h, sorry man I didn't see you" It was the kid they saw before.

"No problem kiddo" The kid look like he was gonna say something before let it go and keep walking. He was with a girl now, a goth, short dark hair and purple eyes, they were holding hands.

'A plaboy' thought before keep walking

_________________________________________________

Dick doesn't know if feel happy or not

Damian has a brother, an older brother. By extension he has another brother of what he never knows about.

He never thought that Damian would keep something like this from him, he knows that everybody have secrets, more in his family but keep in secret that he have a brother

"ahh.." he sigh

They are in the manor now, Damian's brother text him and said that is on his way. Tim is tensed, Jason look curious and Bruce has a blank face.

Sometimes he forgets how hard can be read Bruce.

He was going to say something when a 'tok tok' sound from the door. Damian runs to the door and open it. His eyes lit up in a form that he has never seen before.

"Brother!" His voice sound happy and look like he was fighting a smile.

"Hi, Dami" Damian's brother said with a soft voice and warm smile before pull damian in a hug. He was going to take a picture when Jason yells.

"THE PLAYBOY OF BEFORE!!"

Damian turns his eyes to Jason and glare him

"What did you said about my brother" Damian says, Damian's brother looks confused.

"Jay, why do you think that-" he turn his eyes to Damian's brother "Danny" " okay, why do you think that Danny is a playboy?"

"We saw him kissing a guy and after wandering around with a girl holding hands" tim respond

Danny looks ashamed before said " those were my partners, we are in a poly" then put his hands on his face "how my first impression to Damian's family was that I'm a playboy" Danny mumbled

Damian snort " Look like you catch father's genes, brother"

"That's means that you'll be a playboy too" Tim says, clearly trying to annoy damian

" I'll end you drake" dick's family it's too funny

_________________________________________________

Bruce day was a roller coaster.

But seeing his sons happy, playing each other, he couldn't help to let out a smile.

He can deal with the fact of having another son of what he didn't know about later.

[klapollo]

i try to bond with them. on the weekends we spend together i extend my arms, i say "mommy loves you so much, you know that right" and they smile and nod but the little squishy dot over their head doesnt turn into a heart. he tells them to be polite but they cant swallow the bile of resentment from me jumping on their head as rouge the bat minutes after they were born. i drop them off at the chao kindergarten monday morning and he stands next to his toyota just kinda looking at me with this icy stare that speaks to neither sentimentality nor dramatic levels of disdain. he's just gone numb in the face of my failure to parent. and can i blame him? probably not. before they slip away for another week, he throws the dark chao a coconut. "eat your fucking coconut," he says, and the kid (who doesnt know a swear from a snowflake) takes three bites with a litle heart over his marshmallowy head. i wonder if he's doing this to taunt me. "our kids love me. they love me. you stepped on their heads because you thought the A button would pick them up. you disgust me."

david and i tried raising chao together and i lost sight of the controls and just kept throwing our first one and jumping on it by accident. he took the kids.

[fgojous]

— THAT WEDNESDAY NIGHT [7]

+ summary. ran thought his life was peaceful—not until you came. well, who doesn’t need a little bit of bright-eyed chaos once in a while, right?

+ tags. romance, fluff, crack, smau, light angst, college au, strangers to lovers

+ status. on-going

+ masterlist.

+ that wednesday night taglist. @zuuki @crown5 @gulfkfl @shinichirosupremacy @manjiroscum @wakasagurl @rinrinfoxy @pyrsqrd @tirzamisu @q-the-rockaholic @kiu8 @nana-phobia

+ tokyo revengers taglist. @cosmiclvsh @r-xochitl @bekky06 @toshiswifey @litle-crow @n-nara @hollowpurpl @iiclal @miyuuuuuposts @haitanilove @aclairysm @awkcasted @yukie35 @chronic-claire-universe @chosoisbaby @marixxi @spaceemeeat @amaejiki @parca-de-destinos @missysimpy @a-astxr @fr00g1es @gwynsapphire @kookie-my-little-sunshine @kqtsukisgf @angtsumu @cakenchill @madarasgf

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Well this is it... I'm a grown woman I'm 40 but this is a tragedy for me I found Lovestruck 4 years ago and I was having a really bad time I was starting to depress and was very hard for me to deal with a few others things, I'm a gamer girl (or lady if you prefer) so I thought that maybe a new video game can help me to distract and take a break of my personal chaos. I was searching and decided to try a genre that I never try before: Visual novel. I search a litle more and try a few but none of them was that I was looking for, too monetized, the graphic too standard (so many visual novel app use the same graphic engine... Sheep and easy to program my grandfather could program that), the stories so cliche, no lgtbi++representation, the typical school drama japanese style (school girl, subtext etc), zero development of a plot and a big etc. And suddenly onde day the search gave me a suggestion... "Lovestruck" The images pick my attention and I give an opportunity to that app that seems have pretty good graphics (I don't know if you know that Lovestruck used a different engine graphic, complex and more expensive than the rest to program) and was love to the first sight... I felt in love the graphics are amazing, they had wlw stories with great development and respect for the lgtbi++ characters, they don't monetize the game in the way that other app do, you can really read for free you only need patience and the rest is story... A beautiful love story... I found so much, I discover so much (thanks to lovestruck I learned new terms like non binary, demisexual), I found mi fictional character soul mate (Juliette) Lovestruck gave to my marriage new interactions and routines,gave to my wife and I the spark to begging a novel write for fist time between the two of us... (we always write separate) and now... Now is time to say goodbye...

Thank you and until we see you again.

This app was important to us in many ways. I'll never forget how much I learned thanks to it, how many wonderful people I met. Lovestruck will live on in our hearts. - Mod Jessa

[sleepygenie-o]

Eyo! I saw the post about security breach and SAGAU which was really great! Do you think you could make any headcanons for Sky x Security Breach?

AAA HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT IM SO SORRY IF THIS ASK WAS OLD---

Ok then... there will be spoilers for FNAF's true ending (there will be alterations to the ending so this is a bit of canon divergence?) and Sky so read at your own risk!

For this, the reader is a veteran Sky child, the cosmetics they have is of course, up to you. That and you're gonna be the size of a teen.

While in an attempt to guide a few moths through Eden, you found an odd, blue, puddle of water near the beginning of the no return area, right where 2 statues were currently at, hidden from other's sight because of the fallen debris

"How odd, Eden is an entire red storm." Was all you thought before you got pushed in

On Gregory's side, Freddy had to currently recharge himself so he was left to wander around for the time being

He then stumbles upon a dark room, seeming to invite him.

After making sure there were no white, knife wielding bunnies, he went in, trusting his gut that nothing bad wou--

SWOOOSH

The place rumbled at the odd force. And Gregory could only widen his eyes.

There were these odd, black smoke things... with ..crazy looking red eyes!

In the middle of the room was a white candle, unlit.

Maybe he had to get there for these things to disappear!

When he finally got to the middle (Too many close calls for himt o count at all!) he got a random lighter he found laying on the floor while exploring. When he lit the candle he heard

*groan*

Ok, wtf was that.

Thats when he sees.... you!

".....This.. isn't... Eden?" You were still confused, where are yo--

....WHO TF IS THAT BROWN HAIRED SKY CHILD AND WHY DONT THEY HAVE A CAPE?!?! THERE ARE SHADOW DRAGONS HERE!

"Ar- HEY!" Gregory yelled as you picked him up and ran, ducking and dodging ever shadow dragon, then literally tackling the door down.

"What were you doing there?! You don't have a cape or as it seems, any winged light! You might've gotten hurt!" You start to kneel down to Gregory's height to check if he had any scratches, bruises, any form of injury

"Gregory, there you are!" Freddy, who went to where Gregory was after he didn't hear from the child for a long time, then went to find him. Only to see what looked to be a teen with Gregory.

"....Wtf" you're face was the actual embodiment of confusion at this point. Wtf. was. that. orange... thingy??

--After a thorough explanation about yourself to the 2--

When you finished speaking, they thought it'd be a good idea to let them come with you!

Including after the true ending, repairing everyone, stop the virus, save Vanessa, you stayed with them

Soon, you found a way to travel home and back

....And y'all know this isn't complete without chaos.

You bring the most chaotic stuff to the pizzaplex for Gregory to use like the firework staff, spawn a boat in the middle of Monty golf, race using a table (and winning) in Roxy raceway

And scaring the crap out of the animatronics when you fly.

All in all it's a litle found family ^^

[betterthantheywerebefore]

Anyone play Medieval on the PS1?

The archers of Minas Tirith are WAY easier to do something with than the guys with shields welded into their bodies. I hacked his arms off, gave him a nice cultist shotgun, and thought fuck it - skull head time. I love how immediately that silly change gave him so much character. 

A few more bits and a Beserker helmet piece as some sort of back fin thing and he was done. Yes, the 40k arms look a litle big on the smaller LOTR models, but that’s the beauty of a Chaos army - what’s a little disproportion between friends? 

[hes-writer]

Just A Litle Bit of Your Heart (5)

Summary: y/n must make a decision

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 3211 words

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

A/N: apologies for taking over a year to finish this series! thanks for being patient. as usual, let me know what you thought.

The inspiration behind this part is credited to Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. More specifically, Naoko’s first letter. Some lines were used as is and others were paraphrased. The description of when Watanabe and Naoko had sex are also collaborated along this piece.

I’m really nervous about this.

____

Harry’s words echoed in Y/N’s head; she has never felt such conflicting emotions coursing through her body. Her heart twinged with the need to press her body closer to him because she loves him so dearly. A surge of logical capacities told her to extract herself from the situation--the toxic relationship that they built up to, on the other hand. Did she want to stay with him? Or did she want to leave? Harry was giving her the chance to call it quits right at this moment, to run away from him and start a blossoming relationship with someone else, instead of sticking around and be strung along as he picked up various women on the way to nowhere.

Nowhere.

This would lead to nowhere if she continued to act the way she did. It would be quite tragic to let their relationship strain, only to crash and burn because they didn’t know when to stop. Either she had to change to be more understanding and indifferent or he had to abandon his bachelor ways and return home to her. She didn’t know if both of them could cocoon themselves in a box that they’ve left long before.

That version of Y/N was long gone and she did not know what to make of it; if it was Harry to be condemned for taking advantage of the kindness of her heart, or was it her own fear of being left alone that lead her to being alone? 

Y/N blinked sluggishly at him, lashes casting a shadow on her cheeks as she shifted her gaze away from his curious ones. She was hurting but she didn’t want to hurt him. Somewhere inside her heart knew that that love she held for Harry was too much--and too much love can kill you. 

She didn’t know what to expect from it and Y/N thinks she might be experiencing it now. The subtleness of losing herself to the void, pieces of her that can never be brought back, that will never make another appearance because those were only brought up when he was still the Harry she fell in love with and they were still them. Withering away like a dried flower that hit its peak, the grace and standards Y/N held for herself, the things that made her the woman Harry fell for washed away in the midst of the chaos. 

“I-I don’t know,” 

Harry took a breath through his nose, nipping at his bottom lip, not knowing whether to release a breath of relief because she didn’t break it off or tense tenfold because the option of leaving him was still on the table. 

“We can work it out. We can go to couples therapy, we can do something!” He insisted, frantically spewing out words he thought would alleviate his situation. 

She stared at him, scrutinizing his loveable face, wondering if he knew the extent of what he was asking for. Admittedly, Y/N had her faults throughout. However, she wouldn’t say she was the biggest problem of what had occurred. Sure, it was her idea that got them in this mess in the first place, but it’s not like she wanted it to be this way.  

Harry spoke words to her but it never reached her ears. Frankly, it gave her a headache.

“Am I the problem here?” 

He paused his monologue, hand sifting through his curls. His body was burning in agony, wanting this conversation to be over so he could prove to her that his words were merely a representation of his actions. 

“I can change,”

Harry’s confession fluttered Y/N’s heart-- to hear that he was willing to make this work so as far as to quit his usual habits shafted a glimmer of hope in her heart. He could charge forward right now, even as his heart writhed, slowly sinking in a swamp of near loneliness.  Harry made a courageous gesture to hold her dainty hands in his own, looking deep in her eyes to see a reflection of him pleading for another chance. For a moment, his heart faltered, realizing that all this time she longed for him, and only him. 

She shook her head quickly. There were multiple times when she would reach out with her fingertips to try and touch the light slithering towards her; a symbol of wishes, desires, and expectations.

She always came back empty-handed. 

“My hands weren’t the ones that you wanted to hold. You weren’t searching for my warmth late at night when you were cold. You rather be in bed with someone else,” Y/N stated, strongly at first, then quickly wavering as her emotions led her to think to a place she rarely went to voluntarily. 

His mind flashed back to the countless events where he witnessed her sleeping body draped over the couch living room, waiting for him in the late hours of the night in hopes of sharing a civil conversation with him. Harry could recall himself huffing in annoyance, having to grab a blanket from the storage closet to cloak on her. At that point, he didn’t know if it was decency that made him act that way or if there were lurking feelings hidden in his hard exterior. 

“I feel like such a fool. I feel so guilty of being me because you would distance yourself rather than talking to me about it!”

“I never meant to make you feel that way,” His palms grasped the retaining warmth her hands left, having long since slipped from his hold to fist at her thighs in exaggerated murmurs. They sat on the sofa a few feet apart, an invisible string connecting them to each other. 

“Waiting for you to call me because you needed me, because you missed me, because you wanted to hear my voice is one of the most painful things I have ever had to go through. At least let me know if you still wanted me around.”

“But I do want you around!” He retorted, almost offended that she said those words to him. Her head looked down at the carpet beneath her feet, silently mulling over the words she was to say next. “I still love you,”

Their cries turned into whispers as Y/N smiled sadly, peeking at him with silky eyes as tears threatened to escape her waterline. She shuffled closer, seeing his Adam’s apple bob in his throat in a difficult swallow. Her soft hands brushed the stray curls falling near his face, her thumb caressing his quivering cheekbones as Harry tensed and untensed his jaw nervously. Y/N tilted her head to the side, admiring his features with the most longing and loving eyes he had ever seen. His eyes burned through, she could tell that the curiosity was killing him. 

The moment she made direct eye contact with him-- he felt a surge of warmth overtake his body, butterflies flying all over his tummy and his heart thumped a little faster. She felt like home to him. 

“There was a time when I looked into your eyes and felt so happy,” Her breath hit the tip of his nose, the closeness intimidating him but it didn’t seem to affect her any longer. 

His brows furrowed, “What do you feel now?” 

She gave him a gentle smile, coldness slowly crawling up his spine.

“Sadness. Disappointment.”

A lone tear slipped down his cheek, the pad of her thumb flushing it away, making his skin glisten with the salty liquid. His eyes searched for a sense of reassurance aside from the deteriorating words she used to describe what it felt like to be with him. The desperation he held deepened, his eyes fluttering close in a stuttered breath. His eyelashes dampened with more tears, making it wet and uncomfortable.

“I thought we were gonna make it,”

Harry's throat tightened up, his esophagus constricting with a certain tightness that reverberated to his stomach which was swirling in coils of springing uncertainty and doubt. Truth is, the action of sleeping with other women never really satisfied him. There was still a hole in his heart aching to be filled, to feel complete was something never came easy to anyone, really. 

“We can still make it,”

“Can we?” Y/N’s voice wavered as she blinked her eyes closed, a tear gently sloping down the curve of her cheek. Her lip was sore from being bitten by her teeth, a gnawing action that occurred from the inside to the outside. Harry’s chin quivered, a sob preparing to rip through the confines of his mouth. A strained cry, raw from the base of his throat and embedded deep within his chest. 

------

Harry remembers the mornings after he willingly gave his body to someone else aside from Y/N: the sunlight stabbing straight through his closed eyelids, the dream-like haze bottling his thoughts and feelings in an enchantment that chanted ‘everything was going to be fine’, everything was going to be the same when he came home. Y/N would always be there with her arms wide open in a gesture for a much-needed hug. His head would pound as if it belonged to someone else because his thinking was muzzled to bits and pieces, barely knowing who he was anymore. 

There was absolutely nothing to be gained from sleeping with one woman after another. Aside, from quelling the spurt of arousal taking over his body, the longevity of the action did nothing in the long run. It tired Harry out and made him disgusted with himself more times than he can count. Those women questioned his every touch, instructing him to touch them this way, to kiss them softer, to stop thinking and start feeling the caressing touches of skin-on-skin contact. The excitement of a stranger exploring his body while he retaliated the same conduct was once an idea that had Harry ready to bolt out of Y/N’s arms in a second. 

He wished he could turn back time. Y/N never made demands; all she wanted was his attention, his affection, hugs and kisses and her body swarmed with endless grazes, tracing the stretches of skin that gleamed in the early hours of the morning. His fingertips pressured the imperfections of her body, hair tickling the calves of her legs as the sheets whispered a barrier between their bodies. His chest attached to her back, his lips pressing pecks along the valley of her shoulder, the base of her neck, nuzzling his nose at the nape where her scent was the strongest. 

Harry missed when they explored each others’ bodies in the darkness. There was nothing to be said, no words needed to be spoken between the two of them when their mouths attached to each other in a dazed spell, alluring both of them to give everything they had to the person that meant everything to them. Harry was ashamed to admit that at one point, Y/N ceased to be the one that meant everything to him. For a moment, she was a silver trophy, forgotten and left collecting dust on the shelf. The second best. The back-up. 

Her cry was the saddest sound of orgasm that he had ever heard and it slit his heart with thin slices knowing that although he was the reason for the pleasure coursing through her body, the pain was still floating like a soapy bubble encompassing her entire being, leaving her trapped to subdue herself with artificial happiness until Harry returned home to her. And it went on, the desperation fuming the atmosphere, Y/N’s hesitant hands trembling against the expanse of his stomach as if she didn’t know his body anymore. Her lips working against his as if inexperience littered the skin of her mouth because he changed too much and she didn’t know how he moved anymore. He was an unfamiliar person but her body reached out to him continuously. It went on until Y/N couldn't physically bring herself closer to his without recoiling a few steps back to avoid the stench of the sweet perfume wafting from his clothes, without her stomach gurgling with disgust at the thought of where his hands had been; Couldn’t help but wonder where his heart is now. 

And Harry went on with the robotic schedule to routinely fuck her because he had to. Not because he craved the way she tasted or missed the way she folded herself for him, but because that was what couples did, right? They made time for each other, became intimate and made love while reassuring whispers were exchanged between them. That was the case until he stopped listening. Her wails punctured the hollow in his chest and he couldn’t bear it anymore. He stopped trying, he paused his efforts. He was only doing the bare minimum and without that-- they had nothing. 

Harry didn’t want to but it was all he could do. His body was hungering for other people to fill the void, the lost love that vanished in a moment. Still, Harry thought about Y/N. Her silhouette against the blinding rays of sun catapulting past the curtain in the early morning, her naked body outlined by the moon in the darkness. The soft curve of her lashes tickling the patch of hair on his chin when Y/N looked up at him with so much love and adoration. The sound of the rain pattering on the rooftop, racing past the window and forming a puddle at the ground.

His heart melted with the knowledge of receiving a type of love that rarely ever occurred. A love that sheathed itself with blue cotton candy, clouds of sugary sweetness drifting up to his tilted nose. The softness of the treat skimming his skin like light footsteps, doing everything in its power to leave his heart beating calmly. Until water appeared and saturated their love, disappearing into nothing in a blink of an eye. 

___

There was a lot that Y/N didn’t understand, a lot that she didn’t know. There were so many things that drifted in her mind, incoherent thoughts and incomplete ideas scattered along with her brain. It would take time to organize a million things in an orderly manner. And by then, she didn’t know if it would be too late. Harry hurt her but Y/N was not innocent. They hurt each other in order to fix something that wasn’t profoundly broken; just dented and needing a little tender loving care.

She wanted to dismantle his heart. Tear it. Crush it to bits until it sprinkled heartbreak over their shared bed. Until then, Y/N could finally breathe again. But she couldn’t get herself to do it; she loved him too much to hurt Harry intentionally.

What hell am I doing?

Y/N repeated the question over and over until it became a part of her. Previously, she wouldn’t have thought of doubting her actions. The confidence she carried herself with glazed the mountains of doubts blocking her path. Not once did she regret a decision she made because Y/N knew that she would learn from it one way or another. 

The time she spent being with Harry was one of the most joyous moments of her life. Images of grandeur slipping past her lids to remember the laughter echoing between the two of them, the smiles being larger than life like two twin sunflowers dancing against the gentle breeze of the field. 

With Harry, Y/N experienced heartbreaking pain and suffocating sadness. Tall, ocean waves submerging her in the twilight zone leaving her with no choice but to kick her feet up and try to escape but salty liquid drowned her all around. It felt like there was no escape until she accepted the reality and simply just floated. The buoyancy of her body guided her to a ray of golden light and she tried hard to ignore it because the pain and sorrow were something that she had gotten used to. 

Without vulnerability, they had nothing. It was the base for connection. The part where fear and shame dissolved into thin air because acceptance was what everybody craved for.

With Harry, she let herself be seen. She was vulnerable and honest and skinned to the bone with secrets that she shared with him. Her heart was whole with the amount of love she gave and the abundance she received. She loved him until the end even when there were no more signs of reassurance that the feelings were mutual. She believed that she was enough until he decided that she wasn’t anymore and found someone else, taking her heart with him and crushing it in a fist. 

With Harry, she practiced gratitude and leaned into joy, never having a dull moment in fear of good things ending because they do. Everything has an end; even the bad things. 

With Harry, she learned to scream and voice out her thoughts, never leaving a stone unturned so that honesty was always in transparency. 

With Harry, she stopped screaming and started listening. To him and his obvious need for distance. To him and his silent pleads to leave him alone. To him and his evaporating love, reeking into the air with bittersweet goodbyes. 

Furthermore, she started listening to herself.

What did she want? 

What did she deserve?

___

Her query was answered only a week later when she spoke to him again. Harry’s eyes were filled with the same unbearable sadness that she used to feel whenever Y/N stared at her reflection in the mirror

“Will I ever see you again?”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders in a loose answer, smiling the slightest bit as the air started engulfing her lungs a little easier. “Maybe”

Harry shook his head in denial, curls sticking to his temples and damp cheeks while some strands followed suit with the direction of his head shaking, muttering soft ‘no’s’ in repeated action as if it would help him contain her from slipping past the opened door. But his hands were buttery and his fingertips were burned raw.

“It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I’m just not ready,” Y/N answered in a rehearsed manner, having spent the previous days deciphering what she truly wanted to say. If there was anything that she would take from Harry, it would be the value of honesty. “The moment I do, I’ll reach out to you. Give you an update,”

Harry stood unmoving, feet planted on the entryway. He could do nothing but listen to her silky voice comforting the turmoil boiling in his belly and the missiles launching in his head. “P-please,”

“Maybe we can get to know each other better,”

Was that where their love failed? Was it because they didn’t truly know each other so well that their unknown differences slowly crept up on their seemingly perfect relationship? 

As perfect as it gets, Y/N savoured the times when it was just them against the world; she never would have thought that her closest ally would betray her. She never would have thought that her own self would walk away when she promised him that she would stick it through.

‘Make it through the end’, whenever that is. 

_____

whew.

_____

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[kewltie]

in the midst of a battle w/ members of LoV, pro-hero ground zero save a rookie journalist who LITERALLY threw himself middle of all the chaos to grab photos & after yelling at the ignorant fuck, katsuki doesn't think he'll see him again but then HE SEES HIM EVERYWHERE. his name is midoriya izuku & he has some sort of death wish really bc katsuki keep finding him in the middle of all these hero vs villains battles and ONE TIME he tackled down a villain right???? and he doesnt even have a fucking quirk & yet he is seemingly unafraid of everything.

needless to say, katsuki is v smitten bc the litle awkward death defying shit. also, anyone who accidentally send katsuki to the hospital several times a month bc he keep getting into trouble and katsuki have to come rescue him and THEN YELLING AT KATSUKI FOR INTERFEARING W/ HIS JOB – may be katsuki’s true love.

katsuki get so fucking rile up at this quirkless man, who shown no fear and easily go toe to toe w/ him and yet is so incredibly humble and hilariously awkward, he is just into this badass idiot who is entirely devoted to his job and cursed w/ severe stubborn???? feels relatable. so yea, katsuki ofc taps that ass right the fuck away bc he knows a good one when he sees it bc izuku is indirectly responsible for three broken ribs after katsuki had pulled him out of ANOTHER TROUBLING SITUATION. he's a trouble magnet and shit-stirrer and katsuki's heart is moved.

so they start dating and it goes SO WELL. izuku still get in major shitstorm for his job and katsuki still drags him out of it w/ a few bruise here and there, but afterward they go grab a bite and crash at each other place. super romantic and sweet and it's so v good. but!!! there's something weird about izuku. he doesn't talk much about his family, to katsuki anyway. BUT HE'S SUPER CLOSE TO THEM. his parents seem to call him daily and he go visit them often, but he never bring his parents up to katsuki esp his dad & izuku kinda got a stalker??

it's not like katsuki didn't notice right away, but HE THOUGHT IT WAS HIS STALKER. one of his super creepy fans probably but nope this person only tails izuku and when katsuki tell him about it, izuku is like, 'oh that's just toga'. apparently, izuku knows his talker v v well. the stalker apparently is sent by izuku's father to watch out & protect izuku and katsuki pauses bc who the fuck does a journalist who lives on takeouts and shitty cable TVs need a bodyguard?!!! so yea katsuki's new bf background is fucking weird and mysterious.

katsuki has his agency dig into izuku's background (not that they hadn't vet izuku's before for katsuki's safety) but they comb through the archives and izuku's history and it's comes out v v v v clean, sparkling even. honestly, katsuki doesn't know WTF IS UP W/ HIS NEW BF. so he confront izuku about his weirdo stalker/bodyguard, his avoidance about his family & his dad in particular, and his eerie squeaky AND CLEARLY SCRIPTED papertrails. izuku get shifty eyes and is like, "you won't believe me." And katsuki says tersely, "fucking try me."

Izuku drops his gaze to the floor and says, finally, "my dad is the leader of the league of villains." and YEA, KATSUKI'S BRAIN SHUT DOWN FOR SEC bc his deku?? stupid suicidal stubborn bleeding heart deku??? FUCK NO. but izuku just nods his head and grimaces. the LoV is the largest criminal org in the world w/ long list of crimes & longer list of criminals that make its their home. their roster are made up of terrifying people w/ dangerous quirks... and IZUKU, quirkless and softhearted izuku is the leader's most precious son. the idea itself is COMPLETELY ABSURD! HOW does that ever make sense? izuku is a civilian who works normal if a bit dangerous job & doesn't seem to have any *evil* inclinations at all yet he hail from the worst kind of genetic source possible. maybe he's just faking it all along.

which made katsuki absolutely furious that izuku might been some kind of sleeper agent from the LoV sent to trick spy & kill him or something and izuku's eyes wide, immediately protests, "no, no, i swear! i dont have anything to do w/ my fathers... org." but katsuki has a hard time accepting it esp with the truth bomb thrown at his feet now that he realizes HE'S DATING THE ONLY SON OF EVIL OF THE MOST VILE CRIMINAL IN THE WORLD. so yea, he walks out on izuku, saying he need some space & izuku was looking so heartbroken as he left

for the next few days, katsuki stews in his thought. he doesn't tell anyone about what he had found out, but he doesn't contact izuku either. This last for couple of weeks until, one day just as he in the middle of patrol there's some commotion that attract his teams and katsuki is separated from them. he's cornered by several LoV members, outnumbered five to one and katsuki lost his comms in the ensuring scuffles but instead of kicking his ass bc well they're foes, one of them break ranks toga (the blood queen) approach him w/ a bloodthirsty grin & a knife pointing toward him.

"hey, pretty boy," she coos w/ a flicker of edge, "stop ignoring our young master! you made him cried & he won't come out of his room. I hate seeing him so upset bc Izuku-chan should always be smiling! if you dont fix this ill rip your hide from your bones and wear it as a cape."

the group behind her make various grunt of agreement, all promising him death and disembowelment for... apparently breaking izuku's heart. katsuki is so outrage that he nearly explodes on the spot bc these dumbass villains think they CAN BLACKMAL/THREATEN HIM?! HIM, GROUND ZERO?! also, even more furious by the fact that they insuate that HE BROKE UP WITH IZUKU?! wtf, he never said that!! needing space meant just a temporary break s he gets his bearing on wut to do next... but not like a perma break, but izuku's ppl thought their relationship ended.

katsuki is even more offended by that notion bc izuku is even a bigger idiot than he thought. HOW could someone that much of crybaby over just temp break is some manipulative coldhearted spy?? right now his instinct says, izuku is telling the truth. he isn't tricking katsuki.

izuku is seemingly sweet, humble, & awkward but he got that rebellious streak a mile wide. loud in his opinions & shit-stirrer by choice, he faces down villains & heroes alike like they're on equal ground even though izuku is defenseless. he respect the law but only when it applies. katsuki has never seen such a fucking firecracker like izuku who loves people & the world but have little respect for any gov entity or laws and think they're good only when they're helping ppl but otherwise they're abritary (lmao). he such chaotic force for good it's hilarious. so yea, he believes that izuku is the SON OF AFO now bc that lil shit is a menace. A GOOD MENACE, but still a goddamn menace. he seems to stay firmly on the side of 'good' as it is which make his relationship with his villain father a fucking mystery & headache for katsuki.

so katsuki, gritting his teeth, clichely demands the LoV group to take him to their leader so he can verbally kick his bf's ass for keeping his fucked up secrets and stupidly mistaken that they're broken up. the group happily ties up him and blindfolds him bc well SECRET LAIR. katsuki is crazy, ok. like, STUPIDLY CRAZY to go blindly and no backups w/ some of the worst villains in history so he can meet up w/ his stupid bf and his crazy father. he could end up dead tmr or some shit bc it all could have been a trick to lure him in w/ his guard down but if izuku can be an idiot for dating a hero when he's a son of a villain than KATSUKI CAN BE A BIGGER IDIOT FOR GOING TO MEET HIS BF'S VILLANIOUS FATHER AT HIS SECRET TORTURE FORTRESS OR SOME SHIT. love can make ppl dumb and they're both a perfect example of it.

so katsuki get blindfolded and escorted to the LoV hq and it's a suprisingly sweet ride to there. no bumps, no abuse, no torture shit going on. he get offer food and drink and it's FUCKING WEIRD. his kidnappers start some casual convo w/ him about izuku and his job of all things. they even joke about how katsuki arrested one of them one time and almost kill another THE OTHER TIME & it's all happy bs??? it's even worst than torture. katsuki just want this to end already!! eventually they arrive and katsuki is let out. he get inside & his blindfold is off.

it's... nothing like he expected. it's traditional japanese house w/ sprawling garden, koi ponds, & beautiful woods. it's pristine, homey, and terribly normal. "ha, you thought we were going to take you to some kind of evil lair, right?" twice says, grinning bc he's an ass. "that's next time! we save that for official bsn." he jabs Katsuki's in the shoulder playfully. "you're meeting sensei and the mistress so of course it got to be at their house and not the 'office'."

katsuki's hands start twitching like he's going to explode someone or something but he's quickly drag away before he could do anything about it. lead through some hallways before depositing inside a tearoom where there's a SHIT TON of pics of baby!izuku & his childhood accolades on the wall. this look less like a room to greet visitors but to show off izuku. just as katsuki goes to examine a cute pic of bb!izuku playing in a field of flowers & holding one up towrad the camera, the doors slide open and a couple walk in. one of them is an older woman who looks eerily like izuku and the young woman also ft. in many of the wall pics.

she smiles warmly at and goes to greet him right away. "hi, bakugou-kun! welcome to our home, i'm inko, Izuku's mother," she introduces herself. while she's a source of happy energy and warmth, the other man beside her is another story. he gives katsuki's an icy stare. katsuki already knows who he is before he even say anything. AFO looks younger in comparison to his reported age, notably handsome, and he carries himself like some warlord from the warring periods.

"I should kill you," is the first thing he says. "my son should only cry in joy, over his terrible taste in romantic media consumption, & dumber things." spoken like a man who dealt with midoriya walking crying machine izuku his entire life and also a hopelessly devoted father.

"hisashi!" inko scolds. which is strange to katsuki bc he didn't even think AFO even have a name but in front of him isn't some evil man who mastermind gov't take over & ruin so many ppl lives but astupid father overprotected of his son.

"but i won't," AFO admits regretfully. "Izuku would be even more sad and if you're dead your death will haunt him needlessly more. he won't be able to forget you and move on." he frowns, like he actually had CONSIDER THAT ROUTE DEEPLY before casting that idea aside.

What the fuck, katsuki thought and says exactly that, "what the fuck. there's something seriously wrong with you," he points out what he think is v obvious.

AFO shrugs. "I love my son. He's my-" Inko's frown and he clears his throat, "our most precious treasure and we do everything to ensure his happiness. do you understand us, bakugou katsuki? inko and i have raise with love and care for 20yrs and i won't have some rough neck capers try to destroy his smile. i dont care who you are or wut you can do bc i can put you ten feet under w/ a snap of my fingers & nobody will be able to save you but like i said i won't."

Katsuki grind his teeth, fists clenched at his side, before lowering his head. this isnt time to fight, they're not on the field & on the job. this isnt about their respective stance on moral superiority but izuku. izuku is why they're both here. "i came here for him. i want to fix it," he says. "just let me see him." he pauses & grimaces like the taste of whatever he say next disgust him. "please."

AFO frowns, staring at katsuki for a beat, two. like he can pull apart katsuki's motives and tears into his rib to see w/e make him tick. "fine," he waves katsuki away, "you may see him now but if he cry anything beside in happiness i'll have your head and your entire agency." it's not a threat. it's a warning lace with truth that katsuki has no doubt he will carry out if a single tear slip pass izuku and fall.

inko claps her hand happily. "great, i'm glad you guys are geting along so well!" she says, like threats of murder haven't been thrown at his feet. clearly, she's used to the fact that her husband is a completely psychopath and whipped for their son. this fucking crazy family.

katsuki grunts, not knowing what else to say beside, 'have you ever thought of fucking divorce bc yea maybe you will be less crazy by then' but he holds his tongue bc they're still izuku's parents and he already made a bad impression on them even though technically not his FAULT.

AFO doesn't promise anymore murder in his future but the dark look on his face is enough as inko's lead him out & toward izuku's room. she drops him right outside it and gives him an encouraging smile before heading off, but katsuki has no doubt the parents are lurking around. katsuki sucks in a deep breath before raising his fist and knocks. he hears unhurried footsteps on the other side and slowly the door is slide open.

"Papa, I already said--" izuku whines, and stops as soon as he sees who ACTUALLY on the other side. "K-Katsuki?! What are you--?"

Katsuki blinks, trying to get his fucking brain to grapple with the thought of AFO as 'papa' and his head nearly explode. he drags a hand down his face and once again thinks, THIS FUCKIN' FAMILY. "Look, you idiot," he starts in lieu of any answer. "We didn't fucking break up."

Izuku looks haggard, buffy red eyes and the dark circle under it, speaking of how upset he was. he clearly didn't get any good rest these several days they were apart. he lifts an accusatory brow at Katsuki. "you didn't pick up my calls or answer any of my text," he retorts.

Katsuki rolls his eyes. "what part of I needed space, time to think didn't you get?" he snaps back. "It didn't mean go cry and sulk your parent's home like a damn coward because you were too dumb to think of anything beside we may have broken up!"

"But--but," Izuku's lips wobble and katsuki nearly jump out of his skin bc jfc don't cry here or i'll be skinned alive, "i was scared that you really mean it! that's why i didn't want to tell you in the first place bc then you wouldn't want to have anything to do w/ me."

Katsuki sighs, a bone deep tired sigh. "Now, why would you think i would have any problem with dating the son of my nemesis?" he says dryly. Izuku's brows furrow. "All Might is Papa's nemesis," he unhelpfully point out. "I don't think Papa even knew you existed until we dated."

Katsuki scowls. "that's not the fucking point," he shouts, temper rising w/ every word. "Your dad is the fucking boogieman who wants to sow discord in the world & it's my job to catch him &lock away for good. Do you see my moral crisis over this when im dating his beloved son?!"

"I-" Izuku's face falls, "dont you think I dont know that? I've lived with him for over 20yrs, I know exactly what he's capable of." he looks away. "But, he's my Papa & im terrible for still choosing him over the world. So," izuku says solemnly. "i dont expect the same from you."

Katsuki grits his teeth and steps right into izuku's space, up in his face. "Look, im only going to say this once so listen the fuck up," he starts. "I like you. A lot. Stupidly. Gods know why when you drive me up the fucking wall all the time, but here I am standing before you."

"A lot, huh?" Lips twitching, Izuku's eyes go soft.

Katsuki scowls. "Dont make me repeat myself, but yes fucking a lot that your fucking groupies & your old man threatened to kill me several times over did not deter me from coming here," he says, hand cradling Izuku's cheek.

"It's because I'm dating you and not your father. Whatever crimes he'd commited is not on you, you don't have to carry his sins," he tells Izuku, leaning in to press a kiss too fast and fleeting on izuku's forehead. "just stay true to yourself and i'll fucking deal with it."

Izuku's close his eyes and lets out a shaky exhales, the air of relief that passes through him is shuddering. "Ok, ok," he murmurs, opening his eyes to look at katsuki. there's a twinkle in them as he smiles, soft and sweet, the kind you can stupidly drunk on & never let go.

In that hazy moment, katsuki thinks, AFO doesn't need to plan any premeditated murder in case things go v wrong bc this is how he'll die w/ izuku's smile right in his front his eyes, cutting him down one curve lips at a time. Fuck, he's just as whipped for izuku as AFO.

it's good that izuku not a fucking psychopath like his father bc this would have gone v v v wrong. izuku would make a terrifying villain. Worse than his own father bc it's not fear & intimidation that will get ppl to follow him but izuku's own magnetic personality that move them.

"don't ever become a villain, ok?" katsuki insists suddenly, grabbing his shoulder tightly.

"where did that come from?" izuku laughs, eyes crinkling. "And dont worry, papa had tried. many, many times but i haven't turn over to the darks ide if that's what you worry about."

"Good," katsuki says firmly, and thinks the world better for it. one less crazy midoriya to raise hell. izuku is trouble enough as it is when katsuki thought he was just a quirkless journalist w/ a death wish but now there's a chance he could go rouge any moment and--yea. no.

"Sooo," izuku says, bouncing on his heels. "are we back together now?"

katsuki flicks him on the forehead. "we never broke up in the first place, you dolt."

izuku grins and suddenly throws his arm around katsuki. "ah, i miss you so much kacchan!!!" he declares excitedly.

and after they made up, katsuki interrogate izuku about wtf is wrong w/ his father bc how did AFO of all ppl get a villain son who isn't all about /that/ kind of bsn he's in. turns out izuku always have a healthy regard for heroes so he never thought of joining his father's organization. though AFO would have been super happy to take izuku in bc izuku is terrifyingly clever & resourceful but he lets izuku go & do his thing anyway. they just mutually agree not to talk shop when it's family, keeping their jobs outside &not in the home to keep both of their sanity.

so izuku knows shit about the 'family bsn' except wut everyone knows bc he's not involve with any of that and in his everyday job as a journalist izuku often times clash w/ his father AND expose some of his schemes bc it's part of his job & he doesn't shy away from it. AFO wasn't upset at all having his plans ruin by his own son. nope. he was SUPER PROUD OF IZUKU!!! to able to accomplish such thing on his own even if it's against him lol. but izuku is still his father's so so he doesn't take on just AFO, other villains, & dark org. he takes on the gov't, hero association, and even other heroes themselves if he ever catches on if they didn't live up to his ideals of being 'proper hero' like all might. he fiercely chases and exposes anything that he deems corrupted and wrong not caring which side they're on.

which makes izuku kind of chaotic good. he acts on his own whims & sense of justice, disregarding all rules & barriers. which is why he admires katsuki so much bc katsuki stands by his rule staunchantly & won't ever move from it, izuku knows katsuki wont ever be sway by the dark. kinda like izuku's father who stands firmly by his belief & does everything to reach his goals. WHICH IS NOT EXACTLY WHAT KATSUKI WANT TO BE COMPARE TO ESP BY A NOTORIOUS VILLAIN LIKE AFO lol. but yea, now that he got izuku's motive and why he's the way he is, it get easier.

they continue dating, izuku continues getting into trouble 120% of the time, katsuki keeps bailing him out, and sometimes IZUKU BAILS HIM OUT bc izuku may be quirkless but he got an army of the world's most terrible villains on his side so yea izuku IS TERRIFYING. and they aren't just dating but they're 100000% serious w/ each other bc now katsuki go to izuku's parents house for dinner every sunday and have to put up with AFO and play nice w/ each other for izuku's sake bc they come ton an understanding they will be IN-LAWS one day lol! their dinner convo is mostly the two of them taking jab at each other bc katsuki trash of AFO's plans or AFO's sends katsuki's ppl to the hospital and got away with it. they never stop being enemy even for izuku bc of where they stand on but mutually agree not to kill each other. they're both fiercely devoted individual who are obsessively workaholic, stubborn, vainglorious, and loves just as much as they breathe for their ppl and though they never agree on anything, this they will agree on bc izuku's happiness is everything to them!!!