#lmfao the comments are so hilarious

[lilflowerpot]

I’m so happy that you share my headcanon of Keith having a crush on James because honestly there was so much unresolved tension between them.

Also, can you please open your fruitful mind cave and please share some headcanons that you have of the two of them please? So i can sit here and giggle uncontrollably while staring at my phone🙃

[original]

I don't really have a whole lot in the way of concrete headcanons regarding Keith & James' past, it's more nebulous ~vibes~, but let me give it my best shot:

So first thing's first, they met upon starting middleschool at the ripe young age of 11 with that delightful hormonal cocktail and all the dysfunctional emotions it entails a-brewing.

Keith's dad had been dead some three years at this point, and his foster placements had gone up in flames enough times that he'd been recently, but rather permanently, placed in a local group home. That in mind, he's all but given up on making actual human connections because these things seem to just never quite work out for him; better that he give up trying altogether, and save himself the hurt, but then... there's James.

Keith's already snagged the desk by the window in the far back—the best spot, as far as he's concerned—and is as happy to ignore and be ignored by his classmates as they file in for sixth period physics, until- until he walks in, all loud laughs and cheeky smiles, with a gaggle of kids hanging off his every word and more effortless charisma than any pre-teen boy should ever really have the right to.

And then gunmetal eyes sort of slide across the room—like he knew he was being watched before Keith even realised he was watching—all lazy arrogance and stupid hair, and he's looking Keith up and down and raising an eyebrow and- Keith looks away, mouth drawn and shoulders tight. Kids like that like to fight kids like him, he knows, and he cannot afford to get chewed out on his first fucking day for god's sake.

But it's not just physics because why would it be, no, over the coming week Keith finds that James Griffin—and it's no surprise to learn he's from money with a name like that—shares at least half his classes, P.E. among them, which is where it truly beings.

"It" being their... rivalry, Keith supposes.

He's not even sure who started it, just as likely to be both of them as neither, but when they're put on opposing teams for a "friendly" game of football, what begins as Keith making the most of his natural dexterity—skirting around lumbering opponents, nimble as a cat—turns into Griffin hunting him and only him down across the pitch like a damn bloodhound. "That's the game kid" the coach tells him, as if, by the end of it, he hadn't been systematically cornered and corralled by the other team irrespective of whether or not he had the damn ball, entirely at Griffin's direction, "like it or lump it". Keith, still wheezing with ribs that protest every breath after a particularly rough tackle, finds himself quite particularly disinclined to lump it, and certainly doesn't like it one bit.

Definitely not.

So Griffin pushes, Keith pulls. Griffin hits, Keith kicks. Griffin scratches, Keith bites.

But it's not bullying, never that: Keith's known his fair share—a scruffy orphan with anger issues is an easy target, he supposes—and this simply isn't it. Griffin evens defends him, once, in the particularly chilly January of their first year when a meat-headed trio think it funny to soak Keith's shirt during gym and leave it out to freeze; without pause or hesitation, Griffin had quietly handled them with more snide diplomacy than Keith himself would ever wield, and though the details of that closing whisper-threat were known only to he who'd received it, the sudden pallor of face and contrition of manner had left quite the impression.

...As did the cozily lined sweater that James—with goosebumps rising on his arms and cheeks already pinking from the chill—had thrown into Keith's arms from across the changing room, citing the pinprick hole in the cuff as reason enough for him to have been planning to rid himself of it anyway.

They're not friends—how could they be? James is intelligent and popular and so annoyingly good at things he damn near makes an art out of breathing—but for the first time since he was orphaned, Keith finds himself with one singular constant that he can rely on to be infuriatingly charmingly stubbornly there: never shying from Keith's sharp edges nor being swayed by the cruel whispers that haunt him everywhere he goes, James is just... James. Disagreeable. Incomprehensible. Unwavering.

And maybe, just a little bit like Keith.

Oh, and I'm also inclined to believe that (both in this au and canon) that past altercation seen in s7ep01 where Keith goes "I can out-fly anyone in this building" and James fires back with "Oh yeah? Is that what mommy and daddy told you before-" [gets punched in the face] was a classic case of projection on James' part: he strikes me as a kid whose parents expect nothing less than perfection—not only that he could be the best, but that he should—so I think that Keith getting the group in trouble, coupled with James just outright projecting his own experiences, led to a cruel comment (and worse for the fact that I believe James didn't actually know Keith was an orphan until after this instance).

[essektheylyss]

no more "fix-it fics". enough "everybody lives au". everybody DIES au. I could make it (canon) WORSE.

[matrix-pawz]

I think I got the one incorrect answer 💀

The video in question:

[lewisvinga]

oh, thats not | alex albon x fem! verstappen! reader

summary; after some paparazzi photos come out, everyone goes into a frenzy thinking max is cheating on kelly. turns out, it’s just his sister, y/n, who is actually dating another driver

fc; kennedy walsh

warnings; cursing

notes; requested ! had to do alex 🥴

taglist; @namgification

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, kellypiquet, and others

maxverstappen1: my SISTER. look at my SISTER. she’s my SISTER. i was out for lunch with my SISTER for her BIRTHDAY and KELLY was in the BATHROOM.

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: why these pics of me couldn’t u have chosen something cuter

maxverstappen1: you forced me to watch spongebob square pants bc your little boyfriend got you hooked on it, deal with it

yourusername: he is taller than u actually 🤓

yourusername: the fact yall thought i was dating max is so disrespectful to me, how dare you guys think i’d date someone who looked like THAT🤢

maxverstappen1: WE’RE LITERALLY TWINS????!!

yourusername: wah wah

username: omg it was his sister ???😭

username: but the girl was blonde???

yourusername: dyed my hair orange hours later + the photo was weeks ago + but max is so obsessed w his cool little sister that he always takes pictures of me🤓

maxverstappen1: no it’s bc you do dumb shit all the time

kellypiquet: appreciate everyone’s concern but y/n’s like my sister 😂🩷

yourusername: love you & p 💓 ( not max )

maxverstappen1: i can’t believe i shared a womb with you.

username: wait she’s so funny😭😭

username: LMFAO IT WAS HIS SISTER THE WHOLE TIME??

username: she’s so pretty but she has a … boyfriend 💔💔💔💔

alex_albon: interesting ‘little boyfriend’ you mentioned…

maxverstappen1: hilarious, right?

username: suspicious…

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and others

alex_albon: MY girlfriend. my GIRLFRIEND. she is MY GIRLFRIEND..

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: ALEX THE 4TH PICTURE?? WHY’RE YOU ACTING LIKE MAX

alex_albon: ur just so silly n cute

yourusername: awwww😞

maxverstappen1: but when i say ur silly you hit my head

yourusername: you call me a dumb bitch. there are levels to it.

maxverstappen1: well yes, you are a dumb bitch!

yourusername: oh that’s not

maxverstappen1: STOP CALLING KELLY TO MAKE P DO YOUR EVIL DOINGS

yourusername: love you BOYFRIEND

alex_albon: love you GIRLFRIEND

username: AND SHES DATING ALEX??

username: omg is that her cat😣😣

username: wait they’re so cute

kellypiquet: come by for dinner soon! maybe this time without max threatening you?

alex_albon: without the threatening would be nice, he’s just salty that i’m taller than him and that i’m dating his sister

maxverstappen1: ur not good enough for her + i am a 3x wdc + L + ratio😝

yourusername: ur both LOSERS whom i LOVE in different ways🙄🙄🙄🙄

username: alex and max’s comments have been so???😭😭😭😭

[auggieblogs]

Cupids's chokehold | Oscar Piastri Instagram au

Oscar Piastri x fem!reader

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which Oscar's girlfriend is a rockstar and he (oscar) is our fav groupie?

a/n: Hiiii!!!! I hope everyone is having a good day/night. Felt like my blog needed an Oscar fic so, here it is. Happy reading, everyone:))

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

oscarpiastri

liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 789,161 others

oscarpiastri Take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only I got.

tagged yourusername

comments:

username our* girlfriend you mean?

username MOTHER

username Oscar y/n is for the girls and the gays🙏🏻

landonorris wbk, she's all you talk about

yourusername you sound jealous, Norris landonorris I AM

username i am sat

username the first picture❤️

yourusername AJHSJSKS OSCAR BABY ILYSM

*liked by oscarpiastri*

yourusername i mean lol simp

oscarpiastri ???? I love you too.

username jaws on the floor

username my bisexual awakening

mclaren the motorhome could use some tunes @yourusername

yourusername onw to austin rn🫡

username oscar is a groupie confirmed

username that's my wife you're talking about, Piastri

username NOT CUPID'S CHOKEHOLD I AM VIOLENTLY SOBBING

username cool gf 🤝🏻 vroom vroom bf

oscarpiastri word.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 125,114 others

yourusername I love my boyfriend, tbf.

tagged oscarpiastri

comments:

f1 our favourite groupie, tbf.

landonorris mine is max, actually

maxverstappen1 you're my favourite too, lando😉

yourusername my lestappen heart is breaking

username come back home, y/n. the kids miss you

username WELL I LOVE YOU Y/N WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?

username I love the rockstar gf and racer bf dynamics

oscarpiastri SJSHJSSKJS THAT'S ME I'M THE BF

oscarpiastri you're so pretty WHAT

oscarpiastri I love love love you

yourusername I love you too, angel❤️

*liked by oscarpiastri*

username pda? we've truly lost her y'all

username I am very normal about them. I am also a big fat liar.

username which guitar did you get?

yourusername the red one🥵

charles_leclerc Forza Ferrari?👀

yourusername I meannnnn

landonorris *gasp* traitor, i hope she's uninvited from the paddock

yourusername chill out lil bro

username she's hilarious😭😭😭

username I CANNTTT WITH HER LMFAO

alpinef1team we love your boyfriend too, big deal🙄

username admin you're on thin ice

username very "right where you left me" coded

yourusername I AM DECEASED

username love this comment section sm

oscarpiastri why is everyone calling me a groupie?

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Hi!

Could you do a headcannon of how Judd would act high around his significant other?

I feel like once he is high, he’s a little more soft and shows that a bit more

Yes!! High Judd = soft Judd fr 💪💪

Tags: fem/gn! Reader, erh the gender isn’t really specified but kinda fem? Mentions of weed and smoking it obviously, mentions of sex too bc yk, big mouth, this is probably the fluffiest thing I’ve written with Judd haha, but I was VERY tired and sleep deprived when I wrote this and did not beta read 😵‍💫

Author’s note: I have convinced my friend to start watching big mouth lmfao, and he actually agreed that Judd is hot 💪💪 it’s a win for the boys

High Judd Headcannons

Word count; 1,0K

He has two moods when he’s high 

You’ll either get super horny Judd or super soft Judd 

My personal favourite is soft Judd 

He’s all goofy smiles and cuddling 

Will think everything you say is hilarious too 

“Judd. Your parents are coming up the stairs, I can hear them,” 

He just lets out a cackle, one of those hoarse, drawn-out ones and just doesn’t answer 

It was kinda stupid of you to smoke in his room anyways,, but somehow he convinced you it was a good idea

The more stoned he gets, the more clingy he gets too 

If he’s in horny mode, he’ll obviously just fuck you harder and faster but if he’s in soft mode you’ll get a very unusual treatment 

Though not uncomfortable treatment, he’s just very, very touchy 

Like imagine Diane walking in the hallway upstairs, she walks past Judd’s room and the whole thing obviously smells like pot, so she enters and behold 

There Judd his— cuddling you, grinning while pressing his face into your stomach and leaving small kisses all over 

Not even in a sexual way 

He just loves you pls 🙏

You’re equally as stoned, running your fingers through his hair and complaining about it tickling 

My man LOVES when you tug or run your fingers through his hair, especially when he’s high 

He’ll literally just ask you to do it 

Diane finds the scene so cute she barely bothers scolding you for smoking, again she’s like 

“If you’re gonna do it, at least do it safely under my roof” 

She will call Elliot up, however, to gush over the to of you 

She’ll try to have him do it quietly though, so you won’t notice 

If you do though, happy stoned Judd will genuinely not care 

Like,, he seems to have smoked most of his anger away 

So he won’t even threaten his parents. Wow 🧐

Anyways, you don’t often do it at his house cause like,,, his parents 

But his car is the designated smoking spot

THATS ANOTHER THING 

He LOVES shotgunning you 

Your first kiss was probably bc he shotgunned you 

He was real smooth about it to; 

“Hey. Have you ever tried shotgunning?”

“No?”

“.. would you like to?” 

He’ll do it when he’s just smoking cigarettes too 

Judd really just wants every opportunity to kiss you, and ngl, seeing you exhale smoke makes him hella turned on 

He kinda has an obsession with your stomach when he’s high??? 

Like,, he’d like to lean his head on it and cackle if it makes noise, but ESPECIALLY he likes to splay his hands over it bc you’re genuinely so small compared to him 

And really soft too 

He’ll unabashedly smell you too, like the smell of your shampoo and perfume and shit makes him all lovestruck 

Stoned showers?? 🤭

Like if he’s in horny mode, he’ll definitely be up for a shower 

Seeing you both wet AND naked 

Yes pls. ✋

But like,, also if it’s at your house and you use your body wash and shampoo on him he’ll go 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Lmfao his family will DEFINITELY comment on it 

Like when he gets home and he smells like strawberry milk and flowers or whatever you use 

He’ll only let you do that when he’s high 

You gotta understand, he has a reputation— 

But, back to my point 

Soft Judd is so straight forward? Will say whatever is on his mind 

But like Judd in general is also really quick to get going, if yk what I mean 

So his soft comments about your smell or how soft you are will turn into something like;

“Sweetheart. D’you wanna sit on my dick for a while or something?” 

Ooooohhh,, soft high Judd has a thing for cockwarming 

I mean, he’s already touchy and sorta horny so you just sitting on him for hours is absolutely perfect 

He’d love watching you wiggle and struggle, red in the face and desperate pleas leaving you as you try to bounce yourself on him 

He would just laugh at your struggles and lightly tell you to stay put, and if you’re really good, he will fuck you later 

He would LOVE to fall asleep with his hard dick inside you 

Just being as close to you as possible 

He’d wake up later tho, not nearly as stoned but is cock still as hard and fuck the living shit out of you 

No okay but soft dom Judd? 😋

He can be stoned without being horny too, but it’s a rare occurance 

You’d smoke in his car and end up on the roof, stargazing 

He claims not to be romantic but when he’s stoned he gets sappy as shit 

“I really fucking love you.” 

He’d mumble into your hair, nuzzling his face into it a little bit 

Aw, you’d melt 

If you return the favor and tell him you love him too he’ll get so embarrassed though 

He’d blush and look away 🥰🥰🥰🤭🤭

I feel like he’s always some level of stoned though 

So he’d have to be really really high for him to be able to open up like that 

Fr it happens only like once every other full moon 

Obviously he does love you, his mom is always on his ass about it telling him to tell you more often lol 

When he comes down he’ll sleep for like days 

Okay maybe that’s exaggerating a bit,, but he’ll be so fast asleep you’ll worry if he died lmfao 

And he’s so groggy when he wakes up too 

If you’re less affected, he’ll definitely expect you to coddle him and bring him food or something 

But if you’re more or the same as him, you’ll just spend the day in his bed 

Taking turns sleeping and fucking 

Idc no matter how tired he is, being in his bed means sex at some point 

Also his mom is an actual life saver and will bring the two of you snacks and food 

(I love Diane ok) 

This, however, is only if you get really fucking stoned 

I feel like usually he would just act like himself, maybe a bit less tense and a lot more handsy 

But yk, the above is for extreme cases were he’s been smoking a lot lol 

Ok I actually need to sleep my eyes are closing by themselves 🧍🏻and I have some sick character development I need to do tomorrow

Tags; @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

[joheunsaram]

pretty hallucinations (jjk)

summary: Drunk words are sober thoughts, and now Jungkook knows all of yours — even the ones about him. And you know what they say, once a secret’s out, it’s hard to take it back.

word count- 3.9k 

pairing- best friend!Jungkook x Reader

rating- PG 15

genre- f2l, idiots in love, fluff, slight angst, slight crack

warnings- reader is wasted, jungkook is a softie, SO MUCH PINING, mention of bondage and spreader bars lmfao

a.n- a birthday fic to celebrate my favourite bunny! happy birthday jk! this fic came to me after I read a scene in ten trends to seduce your best friend that had me cackling. read that book if you enjoyed this, that ones a real f2l slow burn hehe

special s/o to @daechwitatamic for beta reading, helping with the summary, and leaving the most hilarious comments on my doc haha I will cherish them forever💕

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

-

The room was spinning. A kaleidoscope of colours twirling in the air and you couldn’t help the bitterness rising through you. This used to be your favourite place, a library you had created after years of collecting your favourite words. Systematically organized, it seemed now that a hurricane had passed through.

Well, after ten drinks, you were nothing less than a hurricane. Books with their once perfect spines laid dog-eared and haphazard. You couldn’t find it. Couldn’t find the perfect words for the moment. There was always supposed to be something for every emotion in your collection.

Some may think losing yourself in fictional words was cowardice, but to you it was a reprieve. Reality was boring. In the real world you were just a nerdy overgrown virgin who would never confess your feelings to a man — to the man. In reality, you would always be the girl who talked big about sex and hid behind bravado instead of ever opening yourself up to the vulnerability that came with it. The real you was a phony.

Stumbling with your fingers wrapped around the bottle of whiskey, you meandered to the opposite wall, pulling romance novels off the shelves. They would have answers for your predicament. Wasn’t that the purpose of them? To show how the characters overcame their fears?

The words blurred but you lost yourself. You were Catherine sharing your love but having it misconstrued, leaving you to misery, a death of a life never fully lived. As you read Heathcliff’s grief, daring you to haunt him, he transformed from the Englishman to someone too familiar, his proper attire morphing to the comfortable baggy black shirts and giant stomping boots. His dark eyebrow manifested a silver barbell, his eyes widening into a doe-eyed stare. Ebony tendrils grew from his fingertips, running up his right arm until they formed shapes as intimate as your breaths. Tiger lillies and eclipses and snakes and clocks and words so dear they played as a melody on your lips.

And then Jungkook’s words transformed from the enraged howling of ghosts to silence, his lips parted in shock as his eyes looked at you with pity. The memory was visceral and it forced your hand to tip the bottle against your lips, your tongue coating in the warm bite of liquor. Yet, it permeated through, the single moment of bravery you had been saving your whole life coming back to haunt you.

He had a friendly arm around you, the two of you laughing at the television screen as the characters finally confessed and Jungkook shook his head, chastising them for not coming clean sooner and saving him the trouble. The innocuous words gave you the courage to share a secret ten years in the making.

A simple I like you.

But unlike the characters who were living their happily ever after, Jungkook sputtered, moving away with an awkward laugh, shattering your heart into a million pieces. The distance was a chasm growing wide with his questions and the lifetime of bravery fizzled much quicker than you anticipated.

“I should’ve never opened my stupid mouth,” you lamented, tossing back another searing gulp, books digging into your back as you stared at nothing. Nothing that spurred into a familiar shadow making you cackle at your imagination. It really was better than reality.

Because in your imagination, Jungkook crouched in front of you smelling like fresh laundry that made you hazy. His fingers caressed your face, moving the curls that had spilled from their usual tight bun atop your head to frame your face. But even an imaginary Jungkook wouldn’t give you your happy ending.

Moving your hair away, he smiled, helping you up. His voice was gravelly when he spoke, a novel rasp that you wanted to pluck from the air and store it next to your array of books.

“Your mouth is not stupid,” he chuckled, an arm around your waist as he moved you from the library to the kitchen. You refused to look at this hallucination, instead focusing on the tiles that you had handpicked for the kitchen. Small white ones. They had a pattern in the middle, cobalt outlines of squares interwoven together to form stars of the skies.

He deposited you on the stool next to the breakfast nook and placed a glass in front of you. Condensation trickled down the glass to the island and before your clumsy hands could do any damage, your figment picked the glass and placed it on a coaster. Of course he knew what to do, imaginary men were perfect.

“I’m not imaginary, Trix,” Jungkook answered your inner monologue, amusement lacing his tone. But his mirth did not placate you, there was no way Jungkook would seek you out after he stomped on your heart. Your best friend was not that cruel. Not intentionally at least.

“Trix are for kids! Don’t call me that,” you whined, your words mumbled by the glass that he held to your lips. With the coldest glare you could manage, you stared at him as you finished the drink, refusing to acknowledge how soothing the cool water felt trickling down your throat.

“But they’re your favourite, Trix,” he retorted, bemused before running a hand over your head. You wanted to chastise your heart for skipping a beat at the platonic touch as he mussed your hair but you couldn’t help it. This always happened. You hated that he used that nickname, an inside joke that did nothing other than give you false hope. It was cute when he started. It made you flush to your toes and stutter over your words, but it was unfair how he could easily give you a pet name when your boyfriends had trouble coming up with anything that didn’t make you wince.

“What are you doing here, Jungkook?” Your voice wobbled as did you when he helped you up, moving you towards your bedroom. Tears still streaked down your face, stuffing your sinuses with regret as you leaned against his infuriatingly hard body.

“I’m taking care of you. I always take care of you,” he answered. “Watch your step.”

His answer made you fume. Why couldn’t you feel this way for Jimin? He was supposed to be your type, flirty and loud and unafraid to go after what he wanted. In comparison, Jungkook was just a shy, awkward teenager who showed more emotions when he lost a game of League. Sure, what if the way Jimin called you sugar was a little cringey, it was better than babe or doll!

“Those are all terrible pet names, Trix,” Jungkook commented, his grin audible even when you refused to look at him. All you could do was weakly punch his arm, missing wildly while he steadied you on your never-ending path to your bedroom.

You missed your bed. Your mattress was the most expensive thing you owned. Jungkook had given you a lot of shit for spending a pretty penny on it, but it was like sleeping on a cloud, so soft and plush that you could just sink in and forget about everything.

And you really needed to forget the humiliation of Jungkook’s rejection.

“I didn’t reject you. You were drunk, Trix. You didn’t mean it,” Jungkook answered your thoughts once again. “Also your bed is very comfy so I promise not to annoy you about wasting money again.”

He was laughing at you and you couldn’t help but grunt, turning around and placing a clumsy hand on his chest as you steadied yourself. Your eyes met his and you hated how you melted a little at their sparkle. He always had the prettiest eyes, round with expressive mocha irises that burned your heart. Even his lashes were pretty, long and curved like he was a newborn fawn made to be fawned at. Gathering your drunken thoughts, you came to a single conclusion.

Honesty. Best case scenario, this Jungkook was just imaginary and would disappear soon. Worst case scenario, he was real and since you had already humiliated yourself, you couldn’t dig a deeper hole.

“I did mean it! I love you, you dumb idiot,” you announced, your words surprisingly clear. Yet Jungkook still laughed, rolling his eyes as he settled you into bed, telling you again that you were drunk. But he didn’t understand and he had to understand.

“I’ve been in love with you since I saw you play in that dumb ultimate frisbee match when you were a freshman. When you lost your cool at that concert when a guy tried copping a feel. When you gave me a hug when my mom was in the hospital and everything seemed okay for a little while. I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always been insanely in love with your stupid, dumb face,” you ranted. Kneeling in front of you, Jungkook’s smile wavered into a concentrated frown, brows bunching together before he was smiling again and shaking his head.

“You love me, but you don’t love love me, Y/N,” he countered, making you groan in exasperation, hand coming to his mouth to silence him. Sometimes you hated him.

“You don’t get it, Jungkook! How do I even–” you sighed loudly, grabbing his shoulders to make him understand. But if your words wouldn’t work, maybe someone else’s would. “It is at moments after I have dreamed of the rare entertainment of your eyes, when (being fool to fancy) I have deemed with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise,” you quoted your favourite poet, eyes stuck on his. “Do you get it now?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, awestruck in a way that made you want to lean in and kiss him, but kissing without consent was bad, especially if he was looking for a way to reject you again. You still had at least some of your pride. And then he was laying you back and tucking you in, crushing your heart in his palm till it was dust that pricked your eyes, making them dry and watery all at once.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning, Trix. We shouldn’t when you’re not sober,” said softly, fingers running on your scalp before tracing away your tears. With all the alcohol in your system, your filter was off and all you had was misery.

“Can you at least just stay before you reject me? I need a hug,” you whispered, heartbeat accelerating when he climbed in next to you, engulfing you in his arms. He was so warm. Like your favourite blanket shielding you from the cold in the middle of winter. He needed to know the effect he had on you and even though you were feeling the drowsiness from all that whiskey, you wanted to let him in. He had to understand.

“I know you think I love you platonically. I don’t. I really don’t.”

Jungkook exhaled loudly, moving away so only his forearm acted as a pillow for you. Lying on his side he looked at you, eyes tracing your features as you tried your best to keep yours open.

“You’re drunk. We’ll talk about it in the morning,” he said finally. With mere inches between you, you felt your face heat, your thoughts pouring over your tongue without your consent.

“Jungkook, do you know what a spreader bar is?” you asked, staring at him as his eyes widened. He blinked slowly a few times before landing on his back, looking straight at the ceiling.

“Jesus… yes, Trix. I know what that is.”

“I want you to use it on me,” you continued, loose-lipped and hazy. There was no chance you’d remember this in the morning so why not just go all out and let him in on your fantasies. “Tie me up and bend me over. Fuck me so hard I forget my name. God, I wanna be pinned under you so bad.”

“Stop. Fuck… stop, please,” he whispered, his teeth worrying the inside of his cheek in a way you only saw when he was angry. Was he angry? Is that why even in the dim light of the room you could see his ears slowly turning red?

“Still think I like you platonically?” you asked, tone much more mischievous than you had planned. “Would you choke me? Make me lose my breath as you kiss me or will you be nice and gently hold my jaw when you kiss me? I think about that a lot, you know.”

He groaned, his free arm coming to rest over his eyes. He seemed resigned and somehow that made you grin, especially when he sighed loudly before speaking. “Fucking hell Y/N… please just go to sleep.”

“I wanna feel your tongue between my thighs and—“ Before you could finish, he turned, a hand coming to rest gently over your lips.

“Sleep! You need to go to sleep!” he exclaimed in a panic that made your nerves tingle and your stomach warm.

“Why?” you mumbled against his fingers before he removed them.

“Cause you’re making me hard and I need you to be sober when I tell you I love you too,” he replied in a whine that was equal parts adorable as it was surprising. Did he say he loved you too? What a ridiculous concept! You were positive you were imagining him now.

“Wow, you really are a hallucination,” you giggled. This was a nice dream. You liked how all the edges of light were soft in it, how it seemed as if you were floating in bliss. Dream Jungkook was amazing. He felt so real. You wished you never woke up. Especially when exasperated by your chuckles, his arm wound around you and pulled you close, plastering you to his body.

“Does that feel like a hallucination to you?” he rasped, his exhale hitting on your forehead. His comment diverted your attention to the weight poking against your stomach. You wanted to rub up against him but your body felt heavy, powerless against the haze around you.

“Go to sleep now,” he ordered softly and you couldn’t help how your eyelids fluttered shut at his words. Drowning in his scent of fresh lavender laundry, you felt safe and coddled and finally sleepy.

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” you asked, needing the confirmation that the comfort of his arms wouldn’t disappear, even when you sure he was just a figment of your imagination.

“I’ll be here, Trix. Go to sleep.”

“I love you. I really do, you know,” you assured him, getting a giggle in response.

“I’m starting to believe you do, yes.” You felt his lips land on your forehead, so soft and warm that it felt as if falling into slumber was the easiest thing to do. You wrapped your arms around him, snuggling in closer, enjoying the steady beat of his heart as he whispered once again.

“Good night, Y/N.”

—————

Your head was pounding when you woke up. A drummer having its solo, double bass and all. With a groan you opened your eyes to an unmade bed and curtains wide open to the infuriating morning sun. Needles prickling your throat, you say up only to be interrupted by the smell of bacon, the heavenly grease so inviting that your dry mouth watered instantly.

Why was someone making bacon at your home? Last you checked you lived alone.

Slow as molasses, you got out of bed, your eyes zoning onto the glass of water and a few painkillers sat on your bedside table. Without further ado, you drowned the glass, the relief near instant.

And with the relief came the memories. Whiskey. Wuthering Heights. Jungkook. Confessions. Spreader bars. And Jungkook’s words that were no longer so innocent in the morning light.

“Cause you’re making me hard and I need you to be sober when I tell you I love you too.”

Holy. Fuck. Was that real? Did Jungkook really just confess to you? Did you really feel him when he pulled you close last night?

All semblance of a hangover dissolved in the sudden adrenaline rushing through you, pumping your heart into a frenzy that propelled your legs to carry you to the kitchen. Jungkook stood at the stove, frying bacon as he hummed something under his breath. You stared at him as he worked undisturbed, frying bacon, before snapping his fingers and rushing to the plastic bag at the end of your breakfast nook.

You had decided to watch him quietly but as soon as he pulled out the red box, laughter bubbled through you, effervescent and fizzling. He stared at you, joining you with his own giggles as he walked over waving the box of cereal.

“Trix for my Trix,” he said with a grin that scrunched his nose and made his eyes disappear. So cute that your heart skipped a beat and your filter disappeared.

“So I made you hard?” you asked, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth. Perhaps you were still drunk. Jungkook on the other hand just chuckled, bowing his head and running his hand over the nape of his neck. His dark hair fell into his face, covering the blush you loved so much.

“Yeah. Yeah you did,” he confirmed sheepishly.

The silence between you was a little stunted; awkward and too long for people who were meant to be best friends. Before long, Jungkook was distracted by the task of making breakfast, his attention on the pan as he cooked scrambled eggs and bacon, plating them for the two of you. The silence continued as you ate, but you weren’t one to hold your tongue for too long, wanting to just rip the bandaid off and address the very giant elephant in the room.

“Can you please reject me already? This is too embarrassing,” you bemoaned, trying to drown the prickly heat that climbed up your neck with orange juice. Jungkook’s fork paused on the way to his mouth, his eyes large and alert. He swallowed loudly, placed the fork back on his plate and then cleared his throat.

“I… I’m not gonna reject you,” he said softly, his tone so gentle it made you curl your hands into fists to brace yourself for the opposite. “I just… I still can’t believe you love me too…”

You always read about how time slows when you are having a stroke. But you were also meant to smell burnt toast and right now other than the smell of the delicious breakfast in front of you, there was nothing suspicious. Yet, your heart was racing, your palms were sweating and you could feel your legs quivering even when you were sitting down.

“Too?” you asked in disbelief and he nodded, smiling but infuriatingly quiet. Slamming your fist on the table, much to Jungkook’s amusement, you glared at him. “Please spell it out like I spelled it out for you,” you seethed.

“Yes, Trix. I love you. Ever since you walked into my dorm room two days after we met, pulled the plug on my PC, made me lose my ranked game and demanded I go outside and make new friends,” he teased with an eye roll.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes. If you stayed last night instead of running back here and reenacting Doctor Sleep, we could’ve talked it out,” he grumbled, the smile still ever present. With a shake of his head, he stood up, making his way over to you and pulling you up from your seat. Eyes blinking and hands shaking, you looked up at him, your skin burning where it touched you – one hand on the small of your back and the other at the nape of your neck. His thumb caressed your jaw as his eyes traced over your face.

You felt light headed, your breaths too quick to catch, each nerve ending sparking relentlessly. You bit your lip in an anticipation that only made Jungkook move slower, leaning closer and closer till his nose was brushing against yours lightly. His lips barely touched yours and you were frozen, relishing his breath on your skin, fingers curling into the material of his shirt on his chest.

“Kiss me,” you requested, earning a giggle from your tease of a best friend.

“Okay,” he whispered, finally sealing your lips. It wasn’t the rough kiss of your fantasies, nor  gentle innocence of your daydreams. It was searing, tilting your world on its axis. It felt like he was breathing fire into you, yet your whole body was erupting into goosebumps. It felt like colours bursting in the wind.

It was life changing and you wanted more.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you stood on your toes to deepen the kiss and he easily acquiesced, his arms fitting perfectly around your waist. His lips moved against yours, the tip of his nose grazing ever so lightly against your cheek. When you moaned against him, too overwhelmed to see anything but stars, he picked you up and placed you on the table, easily fitting between your legs. With a hand on your neck, his thumb gently pulled at your chin till his tongue met yours, making you shiver so violently that he broke away with a laugh, his forehead resting on yours as he caught his breath.

“More,” you asked and his lips met yours once again. This was better than anything you could've ever imagined. You didn’t know how long you kissed, but all you knew was that you never wanted to stop. Especially when he nipped your lower lip in a way that sent a current zapping all the way down to your toes. And then his lips slowed until he was pecking at you, once, twice, three times, his hands cradling your jaw.

Dazed, all you could say was, “Are you going to fuck me on this table?” and Jungkook laughed, loud and boisterous, hugging you to his chest. And what a great chest it was.

“But don’t I need to go get a spreader bar and some bondage tape for that?” he asked with a grin, kissing your forehead, once, twice, three times.

“I mean… we could do that next time?”

“If you think after years of being in love with you, I’m going to let you have your first time on the kitchen table, you are sorely mistaken, Trix,” he replied, a finger coming up to boop your nose.

“Virginity is a social construct!” you protested, but Jungkook just shook his head, kissing away your complaints.

“You fell in love with a romantic, so let me romance you,” he whispered, hands tangled with yours, his words sending a warmth through you.

You never thought you would be someone who would enjoy being romanced. But when Jungkook drove you to the park for your first date with a picnic he had packed from his early morning grocery run, he proved you wrong. Sitting on the grass with Jungkook’s arm around you, you thought about all the books in your collection, and how with their endless words they still couldn’t capture the glow of your love fulfilled.

Perhaps reality was better than pretty hallucinations after all.

-

taglist -  @awhnamjoon​ @alpacaseoks @raplinesmoon @codeinebelle @aislinnstanaka @miscelunaaa @moonchild1 @shydestinyyouth @itsjaneeet @piecesofapril11 @yoontaethings @jeonyreads @pb-n-juju @everythingaboutfangirling

Thank you for reading this fic! If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback! 

Please reblog and check out more stories on my masterlist <3

[pandalexoxo]

OKAY BEAR WITH ME Y’ALL. I HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME SO I’M JUST GOING OFF OF SOME TIRED OLD MAN TROPES.

FRANCIS MOSES x READER

also, i haven’t written down any of my rules, but i don’t have any limits! i’ll write whatever requests people send me! whatever your dark mind can think of will be my pleasure to create!

i don’t mind if you’re not 18+, since, if i ever do make smut i’ll just label it as 18+ and TRUST that 18+ ONLY will read. you all have probably seen, but i’ve just written about my thoughts of different fandoms so far so there’s no 18+ posts YET. (maybe i’ll make this account SFW and do another for NSFW? idk, i normally post on other platforms but randomly decided to give tumblr a try lol)

as a NM/trans man myself, i TRY to keep my readers gender neutral by not really describing the characters features. hard on TRY bc i know the last blurb fic i made of dead plate was Rody x Male Reader lol, oopsies! anywhooo, enjoy~!

WARNINGS! doppleganger mention, possible unconsciousness, possible death, possible unfunny dialogue (bc sometimes i’m the only one who finds me hilarious lmfao), you’re kinda a baddie ngl, you and Francis are besties, Francis is a cat lover?! Francis is a tired old man who hates technology. phone mentioned despite the first wireless phone being made 23 years after the story takes place (use your imagination) uhhh, anything else i forget? comment below!

Francis let out a long sigh of relief, taking his cap off with one hand, using the other to dab away at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. Upon seeing the exhausted man, you can’t help but smile softly, shaking your head as you get ready to scold him, once again. You cross your arms, looking at him through the window with a playful disappointed glare.

“mhm mhm, what do we have here? you really should be getting more sleep, mr. milkman, your eyes are starting to sport their own eye bags.”

with this comment, Francis shakes his head but is unable to stop the small, yet tired smile on his face. he bends down to place the crate of milk jugs onto the floor before handing over his ID card. you hum, narrowing your eyes when Francis doesn’t give into your whims. you eye his card, glancing at it a few times before slipping it back to him with a chuckle.

Francis’s eyebrow raises in confusion at your reaction but ends up shaking his head, rolling his eyes playfully and sighing softly. he places his cap back on his head and huffs, deeming your reaction as a go ahead inside.

“now… what if i was a doppelganger? you aren’t even going to call my room to check if someone is there? such a reliable doorman we have.”

despite Francis’s playful tone, your grin slips into a frown as you study Francis from behind the glass. this causes him to tense up, suddenly feeling nervous, like he did something wrong. you hum, tilting your head into your palm as you seemingly analyze Francis for a little while before deciding to speak.

“what’s up brother?”

Francis blinks a few times in surprise, his head tilting in confusion at your question. His eyes narrow as he thinks about the question you asked.

“what’s… up… brother…?”

Francis looks up at the ceiling, taking your question to heart. upon seeing nothing on the ceiling, Francis can only shake his head and sigh at your antics.

“are you done with your tomfoolery, (Y/n)? i’m quite exhausted and would like to go up to my room and rest.”

you can only shake your head, clasping your hands together like a disappointed father getting ready to discuss their kids grades at the dinner table. you begin to explain.

“when Francis first walks in here, he always forgets one of three things… his keys, his hat or the crate of milk. you came in here, although exhausted, you seemed put together, unlike Francis, who is clearly going through a midlife crisis. Francis will then ask me about my cat, well, because he’s a cat person, though he insists no one knows. oh, and, Francis’s home phone has been broken for the past few days and is actually at the store, right now. so, Francis being here so soon, isn’t possible. that, and well, Francis never understands my references, but indulges me anyway… anything else i forgot, doppelganger?”

you bat your eyelashes, smirking from behind the window like you just cracked down the traitor in your group. with each statement, Francis’s doppelgänger’s face becomes visibly more and more angry until the doppelganger begins to completely change: black eyes with white pupils, a wide and eerie black mouth, adorned with long and sharp claws on the end of the doppleganger’s elongated limbs.

“you… you’ll regret this… i will get in one day and get my feast, starting with you. i’ll gut you, keep you alive so you can watch your organs fall out of your body and your blood splatter against-! *CLANK! BAM! PLINK!*”

before the doppelganger could finish his fantasy, much to your amusement, the doppleganger’s body tenses upon being struck before crumpling to the floor after becoming unconscious. you look up from the doppleganger’s body to see the real Francis hovering above the, possibly dead, doppelganger. you shrug, knowing that you wouldn’t have to call DDD services to take care of the mess, now you just have to clean up the body.

“mmm… tuesday… tuesday…? did i get that right?”

you hold back a chuckle at Francis’s response to your last question. you can only nod, letting Francis have the win this time. pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing, a loud laugh bubbles up from your throat as the two of you realized what Francis had hit the doppelganger with.

“ngh… i just bought this phone… damnit… his hard head must have broke it, ah, if i bring it back could i get a… refund…?”

[fuck-customers]

Lmfao had a rlly elderly lady customer ask for me to help her instead of my goth coworker cause I "look like a nice Christian girl"

I helped her so she wouldn't be rude to my coworker, but jokes on her tho, I'm 0 for 3 on her criteria 😂 (im a witchy nonbinary lesbian - I was going for boho femme (think Stevie nicks) but apparently I achieved "church girl" instead?!)

Checked in with my coworker after to make sure she wasn't hurt by the customers comments, and apparently my coworker took it as a compliment to her alt style, AND thought it was hilarious the mistake the old customer made abt me. Turns out my goth coworker is a christian and thought the switcharoo was "very telling".

Posted by admin Rodney.

[renomonarch5058]

Someone needs to change their password

We all know Simeon is terrible with tech, and I imagine that he has pretty basic passwords for everything.

So one day, everyone gets a notification that user Xx_MommyAngel_xX on Devilgram has posted a pic. Confused, cause they don't know who this is, checks out and what do they see?

A pic of MC in front of their bathroom mirror, posing and looking very proud of themselves with the caption 'A certain angel needs to get a better password lol (Also I changed your username cause your old one sucked)

(Aka-MC guessed Simeons password and got into his Devilgram account)

Lucifer

Was doing paper work when his DDD went off

Didn't check it until Asmo texted the groupchat

He just takes a deep sigh

I does make him chuckle a bit but he won't admit it

Mammon

Probs was at a modeling gig and was getting ready for the next shoot when he gets the notification

It took him a minute to realize what had happened

But when he does, he's hollering laughing

Thinks of ways to make money from this

Wants you to teach him how you guessed the passion

Leviathan

LMFAO MC

Mans fucking lost it when he found out, also took screenshots

Also wants you to teach him

Comments 'LMAO'

Satan

He was reading when his DDD when off but didn't check it immediately

He only checked it when Asmo texted the group chat

Laughs so hard his voice is cracking

Also wants you to teach him so he can mess with Lucifer

Asmodeus

Was the first to know

Also fucking lost it

Also took screenshots

Comments 'My My MC, aren't you sneaky~ getting into other people's accounts'

Beelzebub

Was working out and didn't realize his DDD went off

Found out from belphie

Doesn't really react

Just looks at it and goes 'oh'

Belphegor

Heard his DDD go off but ignored it and went back to bed

Like Satan, he only checked it when Asmo texted the group chat

Gets a sleepy chuckle out of him

Wants to see if you can get into Lucifers account

Diavolo

Also was doing paperwork when he found out

The whole castle heard him laughing

Texts Lucifer about it

Comments 'haha MC hilarious'

Barbatos

Already knew this would happen, he saw it as he was making dinner

Chuckled when Diavolo showed him

Comments "very funny MC, but please refrain from doing this again"

Solomon

He was watching TV with Simeon in the living room when Luke came running in and showed them

Fucking screaming laughing when he finds out

Had to leave the room, he was laughing so hard

Luke yells at him for laughing

Luke

Was looking through a cookbook Barbatos gave him when his DDD went off

He has mixed emotions

On one hand, he finds this funny

On another hand, MC broke into Simeons account and that's not a nice thing to do

Comments 'MC please give simeon his account back'

Is the reason Simeon found out

Simeon

He was watching TV with Solomon in the living room when Luke came running in

He just chuckles "oh MC"

Realizes he might need to update some other passwords

Texts MC about it later

'That was very funny MC'

'Also what was wrong with my last username? What do you mean it was boring?'

[konigsblog]

(I was gonna make a post on this bc I’ve seen other Tumblr smut authors do it and I think it’s really silly, but considering the anon message you just got about complaining I was worried someone would see my post and think I was targeting you which I’m not— so I’m saying it here bc I think it’s funny and I mean it as a compliment I swear)

I think it’s REALLY funny when smut authors put “:(“ right before or after their whole thing like- it could be the most grotesque, jaw dropping, gut turning, slimy, nasty/pos smut known to man written and the author will follow it up with “:(“ like what are sad about??? I’M DROOLING

I think it’s really funny and I hope they never stop

now, :3, on the other hand..

oh no, my dear, don't worry !! messages like these i appreciate 😭💗 it's not judgemental, and it's sweet and funny to read 🙌🤭

i honestly laugh so hard when someone comments after reading, saying stuff like, "you just wrote the most FILTHY, NASTY, GROTESQUE SMUT and ended with a WINK AND A SAD FACE?" their reactions are so hilarious LMFAO

it's a signature at this point, might as well end it using "-:(", and especially considering how often i use it 😭😭

"könig fucking the reader so hard :("

"price teaching his recruit a lesson by spanking and throat fucking them :("

[baddiecarl]

Streamer! Carl Grimes x Streamer! reader

Like Chandler Riggs, Carl Grimes in a normal world would also totally be a streamer. Here’s a peek into what it might be like to be his streamer crush!  (Also I’m pushing a slight resident evil agenda in this, I grew up watching my dad and brother play them and waited with bated breath to actually be able to play them myself!  It’s my favorite video game series of all time if you can’t tell lol)

For maximum enjoyment, please watch the clip I put right under this because I referenced it in this story!

  “Do I know who (your screen name) is?”  Carl says, reading his chat.  “No, I’ve never heard of them, gimme a second.”  He picks his phone up off his desk and types the name into google, coming up with endless pictures of you playing video games, doing cooking and baking streams, making art, reacting to the memes people made for you, all the things your streams are widely loved for.  Realizing he was quiet for longer than he probably should’ve been, he speaks up. “Oh yeah I’ve seen her before, she does awesome resident evil speedruns! I didn’t recognize the name at first, but yeah, I know who she is!”  

“Omg he’s blushing!”

“Is bro blushing rn?”

“Looks like no one’s immune to the charms of (y/s/n) lmfao”

  The teasing comments poured in while Carl did his best to play it cool and laugh them off, “yeah she’s pretty cute,” he admits through a soft smile as he focuses on the game he was streaming before he looked you up.  Teasing chats trickled in every once in a while, but for the most part, the topic was changed completely and by the time the stream was over he had almost forgotten about the situation entirely. 

  Little did he know that the next day your viewers would also ask you if you knew Carl.  Having been a streamer for quite some time you’ve seen a lot of clips of other streamers and you immediately recognized the name Carl.  “Oh my god, is that the dude who sucks at fall guys?”  You joked as you pulled up the clip of him failing epically at fall guys. “If you get eliminated at this part then you don’t deserve a single win,” he said, seconds before getting eliminated on the exact part he was referring to.  “He’s fucking hilarious,” you remarked as you smiled while you watched the video.  Well, that didn’t go unnoticed by any of your viewers either.

“She’s straight up giggling and kicking her feet lol”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

  Man, did your fans come in clutch or what?  Returning to your game, you saved that bit of information for later, knowing that it probably got clipped and posted by now.  After you finished up your game and ended the stream you finally got to look up the clip.  You couldn’t help but laugh while you watched him read the comments and grow more and more red with each one that came in.  “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”  THERE IT IS! HE ACTUALLY SAID IT!!  This was all you needed to want to reach out. 

  A couple of days later, Carl was streaming again as usual when he felt his phone vibrate.  A DM from…(y/s/n)??  Holy shit, okay, play it cool.  He tried to hide his shock and excitement as he opened the message but still, a goofy smile crept onto his face while he read it.  

“Hey, Carl!  It’s come to my attention that we have quite a bit of an overlapping fanbase so I thought it’d be a great idea to play a game together sometime!  Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to play fall guys ;)”

  By the time he was done reading your message, the grin had broken out into a full-blown smile and he hid his nervous and excited laughing behind his hand.  To no avail, his viewers saw this immediately and began teasing him, asking if (y/s/n) was making him blush again.  “No guys, that’s not it, don’t worry about it,” he said, still trying to hide his bashfulness.  Yet, again clocked by his fans, they knew he was lying.  But they weren't the only ones who knew he wasn't telling the truth, because you had joined the stream just before you sent your message.  You wanted to see him blush just by the sheer mention of you one more time, so you arranged to send it while he was streaming.  You were overjoyed to see him pick up his phone, and judging by his reaction you knew he had to have read it. 

He’s quiet for a minute while he types on his phone and you watch the text bubble pop up on your phone.

“I’ve noticed the same thing haha! I think that’d be awesome, but for the record, we will be playing fall guys so I can prove I’m not ‘the guy who sucks at fall guys’”

  You grinned at his message, not failing to see the humor in the fact that he did the exact thing you did, looking up the clip from your stream where the chat had brought him up.  You respond to his message simply and sweetly.

 “Fair enough! I get to pick the game we play next time we do it then!” 

“Sounds like a deal!”  Carl replies, his heart skipping a beat at the implication of you wanting to do a stream with him more than once.  Carl’s voice coming from your computer removes your attention from your phone. “Alright sorry about the pause there guys, I had a very important message to respond to,”  he says, refocusing on his game all while he's still being teased for his very obvious change in behavior since his phone buzzed.  Giggling at him regarding your message as very important, you sat back and watched him play his game, cracking up at the jokes he made.  After he wraps up his stream, you’re left sitting at your computer, alone with your thoughts and they’re all about Carl.  

  About three minutes into zoning out, you're startled by the buzzing of your phone.  You unlock your phone to see another DM from Carl. 

“Do you think I could have your discord or maybe your phone number if you don't have that? I just thought it might be easier to communicate that way if we’re going to be doing streams together.”  How does his nervous dorky voice translate so well through text?  It’s almost like you could hear him stammering over asking for your phone number.  Doing your best to reassure him, you reply: “I do have discord! But you can have my number too!  It’s ***-***-****!”

“Thanks (y/n), I’m really excited about collabing with you!  I was kinda shocked to see that you messaged me, even though I’m pretty sure this was orchestrated by our followers lol”

What can you say?  Your followers really do come in clutch!

Me again! I hope you guys like this while you wait on the next part of Carl Grimes x Dhampir! reader! Also I hope you enjoyed that clip of Chandler sucking at fall guys, I really wanted to include that in this fic lol

[almightaylor]

I was watching rwrb reaction videos on yt and this comment took me out lmfao HELPPP 🤣🤣🤣

Timestamp: 28:20 LINK

This is so hilarious and freaking cute bc what if it’s really one of henry’s coping activities tho lmao. But he did greet david first when he got home so he really needs his therapy doggo to soothe his soul 🥹

[sy-on-boy]

Okay, so Ch69 was a BOMBSHELL (and I'm going insane)

SSS appearing at the beginning makes me think Yuri might take on the case, meaning he might meet Anya (Anya's not supposed to know about Yuri's job) and Damian

It would also make sense since the Red Circus was taken on by Yor (Ch17.5) and it would be funny to see the two siblings deal with the same enemy while preventing the other sibling from knowing about it

Damian is sitting with George. You would've expected him to sit with Ewen/Emile, but he let them sit together. This is very curious to me because George literally tried to get Damian expelled, and only failed because Anya stood up for him (the teacher wouldn't believe E&E). Damian, sweetie, this is a boy who tried to frame you as a smoker and sent a spy to change your grades. Good for you that you don't hold it against him, I guess

I do think Ewen and Emile are very devoted to Damian (see the boys' field trip) but maybe Damian doesn't want them to fight over who gets to sit next to him?

Anya and Damian also sit in the same row on the two sides of the bus. Knowing how Anya wants to approach Damian (and how Damian notices Anya), it's probably intentional.

Bill makes a reappearance, which is a welcome surprise. Damian sounds like a classist (literally) with his comment that the school should've at least given each class their own bus. Huh, didn't know Damian liked his class that much (or hated the other classes so much)

"Shut up. Who told you Wald hall kids you're allowed to talk to me?" ??? Is Damian still salty about losing the dodgeball match?? Does he think Cecil hall is superior? Is there a hierarchy at school? Or does he just not like Bill?

"All you other classes are our rivals" Damian bestie your classes could change next year. According to what Becky said, they're going to be divided by grades. Damian sure has a lot of Cecil hall loyalty / pride for some reason

I love Anya's impression of Damian. He's a silly, snot-faced crybaby. Like, it's really evident from the artstyle that Anya thinks of herself as "totally adorable" (with Becky nodding in agreement, aww) while Damian is just a goofy scion.

NOTE: in Anya's imagination, the teacher says Damian is "an uggo on the inside". And Anya also says, "Sy-on boy isn't ugly, he's just a piece of crap"

So Anya doesn't judge from appearances, unlike Damian who repeatedly calls her an uggo and a runt, and it's possible Anya thinks of herself as "superior" to Damian because she doesn't think he's ugly, she just thinks he sucks in general LMFAO

So Anya doesn't think Damian is ugly. Maybe. She probably thinks he looks stupid though

By the way, Anya makes herself look prettier in her own filter. Damian also makes her look prettier in his filter

Anya throws a crumbled up piece of paper to get Damian's attention. This is exactly what Damian did when they first met and he wanted her attention

Damianya violence arc omg. Damian seems to be blushing less as the chapters go on, and they have a fun sort of semi-rivalry.

DAMIAN GOT THE CAKE FOR ANYA!! "I should just hand her the stupid cake and be done with it" Awww he genuinely got her cake! And it's the crunchy sort which she likes!

And Damian let E&E eat it (it doesn't look like he ate any himself) while being all flustered and annoyed. He's a good kid, deep down

A reference to the macaron arc! Lots of references to so-called Damianya (aka school) chapters, with 1) Bill + dodgeball, 2) George and the macarons, 3) Handkerchief + cake (+ Bond's kibble which was a gag in the handkerchief chapter)

Anya offers dog food to Damian. This is hilarious because she sounds so innocent and genuine, but Damian is furious.

"Cecil hall kids sure are noisy" Whoops, even Wald hall knows about Cecil's reputation. Damian and Anya probably argue every day at school. They're going to be Those Two

It's interesting to see that Anya isn't reading minds this chapter. She didn't realize Damian got cake for her and she didn't seem to have realised the driver was a terrorist? Missing Damian's thoughts is normal because it was a fleeting thought, but the terrorist was probably concentrating on the hijacking for like, the entire bus ride. Anya, you good?

And then the bus is hijacked. Woo! Action! Drama! Wow!

I'm super excited for this arc because of how much potential it as. It's giving me the vibes of Cruise Arc but with the Eden kids. It also feels like a fanfic to me, particularly my fic when Anya saves Damian from an assassination lol. Here's a dump of my thoughts:

Damian might be a main target. We know about his dad and his influence in the political sphere. Bill says "chairman's son Damian", which might be a nod to the fact. The terrorist guy also mentions "as the nation's elite, you've probably figured out what's happening", and Damian is an elite among the elite

This will focus on the subplot of Damian and Anya's friendship. As I said earlier, this chapter has multiple references to past Damianya chapters. There's also the theme of friendship going on currently, with Loid telling Anya to treasure her friends. Anya is also desperate to go on with Plan B because she feels threatened by her mom befriending Melinda. And Damian indeed buys Anya cake even if he never agreed to it in the first place lol, showing a bit of development. Anya also fantasizes about purposefully getting Damian into trouble and saving him, and now the entire bus is in trouble (and Anya can save him maybe?). So maybe we'll have scenes of Anya saving Damian (furthering his debt to her, which is mentioned in the chapter) or Damian saving Anya (paying her back since he never got to give her cake)

The adults might come in too. The possibilities:

Yuri, as I mentioned earlier, might be one because the SSS knows about this. I know this is a stretch but we might get Demetrius debut with Yuri (or after this arc). In a previous post I noted that the Forgers and Desmonds meet in pairs of fathers, mothers, and children. Demetrius is Damian's brother and Yuri is Yor's brother, so maybe the brothers might be a pair?

Yor was previously involved with the Red Circus, and I can see her coming back to tie up loose ends. And possibly going batshit because Anya is in danger. This might end up with Yor meeting Damian, which I think certainly makes sense after the Yorlinda chapters and Yor acting shocked that Melinda doesn't seem to care much about Damian.

Twilight would be interesting because of his dynamic with Damian. I analyzed the panels during the Twilight-Donovan face-off and you can just see Damian is standing with Twilight instead of his actual father. They get along fine and I think Damian likes Loid well enough.

Obviously, all three will have to conceal their identity from Anya (and the other Eden kids), so we might get one-sided interactions (such as Twilight saving Damian but Damian thinking he's just been saved by a random man)

And even funnier would be to have multiple adults on the scene (for Anya) and they have to hide from each other. Iconic Thorn Princess x Twilight teamup maybe?!

Anya (and the rest) might get Stellars. This time, if she saves them, she'll have an entire bus full of witnesses, unlike the Ken drowning incident. This could drastically affect Anya's reputation at school and her relationship with Damian. We might also get the Cecil 5 (+ Bill and George since they're sitting close to them) working together, which will be fun.

I do think Damian might give up the "our classes are rivals" thing if the two halls end up bonding / working together

And since I have the brain of a fanfic author, imagine if Damian is in trouble and Anya has to save him and vice versa... this is going to be the first real danger the kids have been in

I know this is a bit chaotic and messy but this chapter is scratching the itch lol. I'm going to be insane for the duration of this arc.

I'm so excited. I cannot wait for the next few chapters <3 Endo really went all out on this one with drama, action, humor, and there's so many ways this one could go!! <3

[maxverstepponme]

Steppy’s thoughts on Drive To Survive Season 5:

Please take into account that some of the things might not be corresponding to the actual episode, but I forget things so bare with me 💀 also I’ll try to make this as short as I can because I talk too much 😭

- The way Guenther and Gene got rid of Mazepin… they were waiting for that 💀

- Mazepin getting called “Mazapan” 😭

- The way Guenther and Gene spoke about Mick was just not it. You can be mad that your driver isn’t performing the way you want him to in a shitty car, but human decency shoukd always come first. Fuck them. Fuck Haas and fuck everyone except Kevin. Fuck Nico just in case.

Episode 2: Mercedes principal Toto Wolff works to combat the team's unexpected struggles, while Lewis Hamilton navigates a bumpy ride in the team's redesigned car.

- BUMPY RIDE LMFAO

- Horny telling Toto to change his fucking car? My favorite moment of this whole season.

- Toto really went all psycho on them because they didn’t want to help him 😭 like bro, if everyone else but you was able to somehow fix their proposing issues, that’s your problem only.

- When he tried to use the “safety” speech and Mattia wasn’t having it? Hilarious. Mattia lowkey said “your team’s safety is not my problem”.

- Whenever George opened his mouth: 😐

Episode 3: Ferrari drivers and decision-makers feel the pressure of high expectations at a star-studded new event in Miami and a game-changing race at Silverstone.

- Whenever Charles spoke I felt a pain in my heart. I’m a Max fan and all, but I like Charles and I feel that his team failed him miserably. He deserves better so I hope Ferrari doesn’t fuck him up again. I don’t want him to win but yeah 😭

- I forgot about the Monaco “stay out, stay out”, if I was Charles I would’ve yelled at them. I don’t care.

Episode 4: Crashes and costs mount for Haas as driver Mick Schumacher fights to live up to his father's racing legacy and proves his worth to the team.

- When I tell you I cried almost the whole episode I’m not even joking.

- Y’all know how much I love and adore Mick, and you know that I’ve said that his performance wasn’t the best, but the way the team treated him? That’s fucking disgusting. How do you expect someone to be motivated when all you do is break him down? The fact that Kevin was the only person who believed in him is so sad and tells us all we need to know about Haas as a team.

- Guenther’s comments were just not it. I don’t care if you wanted him out, but no one deserves to be treated this way.

- When Max started talking about him I BAWLED my eyes out, and when they showed baby Max with Michael, tears kept falling and they didn’t stop. Plus he gave me baby fever LMAO.

- Max can’t even leave me alone on an episode that’s not about him.

- When Mick said his last name is a blessing and not a curse like many said? He said fuck you in every single language possible.

- Love Mick. Fuck Haas.

Episode 5: Otmar Szafnauer's efforts to overhaul Alpine bear fruit, until a new round of driver musical chairs throws his plans for the future into question.

Episode 6: Daniel Ricciardo's future starts to look uncertain when McLaren team managers set their sights on new talent, while Alpine weighs the best way forward.

- THESE TWO EPISODES 😮

- Fucking Nando making me laugh the whole thing. Man couldn’t give less of a fuck.

- The DRAMA was insane, and Bear became my new favorite DTS member.

- I feel like Mclaren is a good opportunity for Oscar but I totally understand Otmar being pissed. They spent 4M on the guy for him to just zayn like that.

- Pierre being chosen over Daniel by Alpine wasn’t because they think he was better but because he was most affordable. Daniel might not be delivering as expected but man is expensive af.

Episode 7: As the Red Bull team pushes to build on its lead against Ferrari, all eyes are on Sergio "Checo" Pérez during a dramatic Monaco Grand Prix.

- Dramatic Monaco Grand Prix? More like Ferrari being Ferrari and fucking up another Grand Prix.

- Checo reacting the same way I did when Seb decided to be funny.

- My theory about Carlos ALWAYS being on the podium whenever something crazy happens was proven right AGAIN.

- Checo saying his family is the most important thing and talking about his wife after cheating on her 💀 + the damage control made with scenes from their wedding, funny af. No one will forget it, but good try Checo.

- Max talking about the pressure of being a Red Bull driver when he’s the pressure 😭

Episode 8: When Pierre Gasly announces he's leaving Alpha Tauri, Yuki Tsunoda faces losing a teammate and a friend.

- Yuki farting next to Pierre at any chance he got 😭

- You know I’m not Pierre’s biggest fan but the way he talked about Yuki made my heart melt. You can see he actually cares about him. After all, he did say he was like a little brother to him.

- Yuki saying that he’s not a rookie anymore and that he’s ready to lead the team 👀 I hope he does though, I’d love to see that and I’d love to see him prove us all wrong.

- Nyck saying he’s going to bring maturity to the sport and me wheezing because I FUCKING FORGOT HE’S ALMOST 30 😭

- Yuki almost crying when Pierre was giving him a motivational talk.

Episode 9: With both championships within reach, Red Bull's team faces incendiary accusations that they've cheated by violating a league-wide spending cap.

- “We didn’t cheat” - Horny.

- “Turns out we exceeded the limit” - Horny, 5 seconds later.

- Toto going one by one trying to stir shit up and the only one who ended up doing something about it was Zak.

- Mattia going all “it wasn’t me” on Horny and gaslighting him into thinking that if he thought he did something was because he was guilty.

- Max saying that those things basically don’t concern him. King behavior.

- Zak laughing about his letter but then going silent and pissed when Max won again and Red Bull became champions 😭

- Helmut going “okay” when Horny told him to go and get the trophy.

- Fucking Jos ignoring Miss Racist in Austin 💀

- Max saying the team deserves it and then hugging the team 🥹

Episode 10: The 2022 season hurtles toward a conclusion in Abu Dhabi, where Ferrari fights to hold off Mercedes and McLaren hopes for a miracle to overtake Alpine.

- Not much to say here.

- Mercedes being Mercedes. I felt bad for Lewis though.

- Turns out I was half asleep when I watched Abu Dhabi because I didn’t remember shit from that race.

- Fucking Alonso saying bye again and saying he’s happy to leave 😭

- Seb saying he doesn’t know what it feels like to be away from the sport. Cried again.

- Daniel’s little tribute 🥹😭 I’m going to miss that idiot so so much.

-

That was basically it. I hope you enjoyed this masterpiece ❤️

[oceanlipgloss]

4.1.2023

I just finished Chapter 2. The ending was sad. The angels are brimming with hatred and blinded by it, so what they're doing is very unfair and inhumane.

But I also feel very excited to move on to Chapter 3, and Mammon is on the cover(?) of it so it's definite that MC will meet him now. I'm really looking forward to that and to meeting Bimet and Eligos, hopefully! Then again, MC didn't meet Astaroth even though he's from Gehenna, so it would make sense that she wouldn't meet all of Mammon's demons now too, which means that if she were to meet someone now, it should, by logic, be Bimet because he's the closest to Mammon. Time to see!

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: something I really loved about the end of Chapter 2 was the display of Satan's kindness—he loves his subjects and cares for them, and is sad when they get hurt. I also really appreciated MC's care for him and her desire to comfort him. And Ppyong needs so many hugs.

update I: Minhyeok is so sweet <3 also, he and MC are really cute together and dammit the H-scene is so far off sob I wonder who it's gonna be this time

update II: these bouncing angels that look like buns: wow guys, you're fast but it's time to meet the Lord, baby

update III: oooooh this one is called 'the man sculpted from muscle,' so is it time to meet Mammon already? I'm so excited omfg

update IV: everyone else is asleep, meanwhile Satan is just

update V: YAYYYY HIYA but oh my he's so big HUGE and idk how to put it but there's this sweetness to his face. He's so cute lol and he looks like he would be great to hug

update VI: LMFAO Tbh I'd love to do that too ngl

update VII: UHHH??? I kinda like how warm and comfy this sounds and wow, he really said I'll be your bed simply glorious! Anyways, Mammon is making moves already, so wake up and get yo girl, Satan

update VIII: a somewhat strange thing to point out, unless it irks him (which doesn't quite make sense since he doesn't know her yet. But! If he felt attracted to her once he first saw her, that changes things a lot)

update IX: I'm going to guess that it DOES bother him

update X: ooff he's cool, he's cool <3

update XI: no comment true love can never be hidden, and he is passionate about butts, so he couldn't resist, I guess... But what actually piqued my interest is the fact that his hands are bigger than any other hands MC has seen because I love hands

update XII: so first I chose to make MC grab his butt so I can see how he reacts, but dude the description was hilarious to say the least lmao Mammon has a squishy soft butt spread the word then I chose the 'lie back down on his chest' option because it's cute dammit needless to say, things got...interesting either way

update XIII: Satan is asleep so he's technically not seeing anything, but MC getting frisky with Mammon in front of Satan's open eyes...I'm just happy he wasn't awake to see this

update XIV: okay that's actually romantic in a greedy sort of way

update XV: he seems to be optimistic but sentimental, and pretty attached to his emotions too. CUTEEE ugh

update XVI: YEAH MAMMON IN YOUR DREAMS (thank u tho, i like u)

update XVII: Ppyong and Minhyeok have the cutest dynamic plssss also Minhyeok deserves more love from MC when possible

update XVIII: I thought Minhyeok was going to use his horn in class and almost died but let's be honest, I WAS going to enjoy how awkward and hard difficult it would've been for him to keep quiet lmao sadism anyways, did he just say that MC's underwear smells nice? Listen, bro...

update XIX: boys will be boys

update XX: AAAAAAAAAAARGH I LOVE HIM

update XXI: oh god I can't deal with this it's too cute LOOK AT PPYONG PLEASE LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO SMOL AND EXCITED AND HAPPY and look at Minhyeok noooo this is too precious

update XXII: Ppyong is rooting for MC and Minhyeok oh man that's it I'm gonna die of fluff overdose and I will love every minute of it

update XXIII: Minhyeok being doubtful and unsure of himself because he thinks that MC is seeing much better things in Hell which he would seem 'ordinary' next to, and Ppyong comforting him and telling him he's beautiful and 'devilish' aka code for 'good' was an arrow to my heart

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

5.1.2024

update XXIV: it was mentioned earlier that MC beginning to see Minhyeok as a man and not just her childhood friend would have effects, so this is the beginning of it, I guess: Satan and Sitri are jealous and irritated

update XXV: lmaooo be fair, Mammon. Anyone other than Glasyalabolas would look small next to you Satan would look even smaller tho, I agree

update XXVI: okay, I really, really like Mammon. He has a very pleasant and chill personality, and he too seems to have gotten attracted to MC before he got to know for sure that she's Sulumun's dootah Solomon's descendant? That's so nice to know

update XXVII: oh my fucking—it's decided. I LOVE Bimet. He doesn't even bother to be convincing oh my God LMAO or maybe he thinks he IS being convincing or that others are idiots who would fall for it anyway I'm so happy he got introduced so early though, I was waiting for that moment lol I really liked him the moment I read his intro *looks at Belial, Eligos, Beel, Ronové, Lucifer, Glasyalabolas, Gusion, Bathin and Andrealphus* did I forget anyone?

update XXVIII: THE H-SCENE IS SO CLOSE ALREADY WTF OMG YAAAS WHO'S IT GONNA BE I have my bets on Paimon because I don't think it's logical for Mammon's to happen yet also let's hope I can pass the one battle that leads to it because this has been suspiciously easy (edit: I passed. Still suspiciously easy. It's coming for me, isn't it?)

update XXIX: no bro, I fucking ADORE him

update XXX (oooh would you look at that, an xxx): it's sweet how Bimet got emotional when he thought MC was Solomon, and it's funny that he was then like 'get lost if you don't have money, especially if you're not Solomon' lmao he's a riot

update XXXI: sexy move, hon And excuse me for my poor wording, Bimet, but don't you look scrumptious! That tongue

update XXXII: aw he sounds annoyed but he also seems like he's going to cry. I wanted to include a screenshot, but no more images fit. The heck though, I love him to bits. So, without further ado, welcome to my favourite characters club, Bimet!

But damn it, I also really liked when he told MC that she's a beggar that listens to reason. That screenshot deserved a spot in here too lol

Next up, THE H-SCENEEEEE!