#logically i know that's not the case everybody is very nice and i know that there's likely to be a few people who are given a reason

[katsigian]

I have an idea about a tag game but I'm nervous about starting it ghdjfhdjs it's essentially like a WIP whenever, but a lore whenever. Basically it's like a "tag, you're it, here's the microphone to chat about something in regards to your OCs" and I dunno how it'll go

[vivalas-vega]

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

things are happening !!!! jupiter meets the gang !!! things are starting to line up but I just hope they can make it work...

drops of jupiter is literally her and jake’s song, I don’t make the rules I just enforce ‘em. as always lmk what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

add yourself to my taglist

prologue - one - two

word count: 4.4k

warnings: language, drinking, a smidge of jealousy, a very cheesy moment at the piano but I could not help myself

The days were passing by in a blur, a monotonous blend of the same thing day after day… You were fighting to stay focused but a few days of mild cases and routine patients had you double and triple checking each chart before entering a room to make sure you were keeping everybody straight. You were officially entering the lull period of your residency where attendings gave you a long leash and let you take the lead, and you were even getting out of work at a decent hour which allowed you to start up a workplace romance with the hospital's forensic pathologist. You’d met him in the bar a few weeks ago and he didn’t take offense to the fact that you didn’t call him by his name, which was Blake, but rather Dr. Death, and he simply thought it was cute when you said he was the reaper and forced him back down to the basement anytime he tried to visit you during the day for fear his energy would affect your patients and send them circling down the drain. At first you’d tried to find something wrong with him, like really truly searched for red flags but there just weren’t any. 

He was supportive and encouraging, definitely wasn’t hard on the eyes, and was endlessly understanding of your work schedule because he endured the same difficulties. You’d sneak out of the hospital late at night and go to that 24 hour diner a few blocks away where you would load up on fries and milkshakes, meet for lunch over soggy cafeteria pizza and surprise each other with a cup of coffee when you could. He waited until the third date to take you home and for some reason you’d hoped he would be terrible in bed because then at least you would have a reason to call the whole thing off but he wasn’t and all of your friends got along with him if they overlooked the fact that you were slumming it with a basement dweller… a fact that never went unchecked by either of you with the reminder that he did in fact go to medical school like the rest of you. 

He was good, and you were seemingly happy yet you couldn’t really figure out why you hadn’t told Jake about him… you’d been seeing each other for two months now (you wouldn’t go far as to say you were in a relationship yet) and it was something you had chosen to leave out of every facetime or phone call. It just never felt like the right moment, talking about your dating lives was really the only thing you two struggled with, it always felt awkward and in a way you felt like you were cheating on Jake. Logically you knew you weren’t, logically you knew (through Coyote) that he was a bit of a ladies man and made his rounds wherever he was stationed that month but it just wasn’t something you ever talked about. Which was why as you sat in the Chief of Surgery’s office early one morning you felt a pit develop in your stomach when he let you know you’d be headed to San Diego for the day.

“UCSD got your fellowship application and they were very impressed… I spoke with their Chief and they’re requesting you for the day, I reckon they’re about to woo you,” he chuckled. “You’ll take the hospital’s charter and return tomorrow evening, you leave in an hour,” he said and you just stared at him in shock.

“Woo me, sir?” you asked and he nodded.

“You’ll spend the day in their facilities, get the lay of the land and meet the Head of Trauma, they’ll likely let you scrub in on something cool… they’re putting you up in a nice hotel in Coronado on the beach and giving you tomorrow to explore the city, likely in hopes of you falling in love with the San Diego lifestyle,” he said and you were still looking at him skeptically. “This is the part where all of your hard work starts paying off, Jupiter. This isn’t going to be the first hospital that tries to get your attention but they’re certainly hoping to be the last,” he said.

“But sir, I have patients… I’m supposed to take Mrs. Murphy in for her-”

“You’ll still have patients when you get back, go… maybe have a little bit of fun,” he said with a smile and you nodded as you left his office. Having fun wasn’t something you really did often, your life existed within the walls of this hospital. For you, fun was cutting people open and maybe you could constitute what you were doing with Blake as fun but you really thought of it as more of a time filler.

And they’d done exactly what he said they would… you were given a tour of the hospital by an overly eager resident (who had a million questions for you about the clinical trial you’d worked on with your Head of Neuro during your second year) and you learned cutting edge trauma techniques during a GSW surgery that you’d only read about in medical journals all before they sent you packing while the sun was still out to get settled in your hotel and see everything San Diego had to offer you. Jake was still here, he’d returned from his mission a few weeks ago and there was talk about keeping him and all the other pilots that were recalled for the detachment here permanently as a squadron while teaching new recruits at Top Gun. You changed out of the scrubs you’d been wearing since Boston and showered, throwing on a sundress and sandals before walking out of your hotel and strolling along the beach… Following your phone's maps you knew you were only a few minutes away from the bar where Jake told you he spent most of his time nowadays and you dialed his contact, hoping he was around and not up in the air somewhere.

“Hey angel, perfect timing. I just got to the bar, man it was a crazy day at work today,” he said and you could hear the chatter in the background as he greeted Penny and ordered a beer.

“Yeah? Tell me all about it,” you said and you listened as he went on about a new recruit who reminded him a lot of himself but not in a good way, mentioning something about almost losing total control of his jet and taking Phoenix out and you shuddered as you imagined it, stopping right in front of the entrance and taking a deep breath. “Hey, what was the name of that bar you’re always at?” you asked, a soft smirk playing on your lips as you walked in and recognized the group of pilots around the pool table from the photos he sent you.

“The Hard Deck, why?” he asked as you made your way through while praying you weren’t in his line of sight and you saw him leaning against the bar with his back to you and you leaned against a beam a few feet away.

“Huh, that’s weird… I just walked into a bar called the Hard Deck, must be a coincidence,” you said, doing your best to sound nonchalant.

“The Hard Deck? In Boston? That doesn’t make any… are you fucking with me?” he asked and you stifled a laugh.

“I don’t think so? Yeah, there’s this red neon sign out front, a lot of coffee cups hanging from the ceiling which is an interesting design choice,” you said as you watched his head tilt upwards, “a lot of people in khaki. Actually… there’s this guy at the bar wearing the hell out of a khaki uniform that I think might be cute but I can’t really tell, he’s got his back to me… do you think I should make a move?” you asked and he turned around slowly as if he was in a horror movie expecting the killer to be right behind him and you were worried his face was going to split in half from how wide he smiled when he spotted you. He was crossing the distance in an instant, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground as you giggled.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, squeezing you tight. 

“I was at UCSD for the day getting the star treatment,” you said a touch dramatically as you threw your hair over your shoulder. “Thought I’d surprise you.” 

“Well I am certainly surprised, what do you want to drink?” he asked and you shook your head.

“In a minute, I’m quite liking this surprising people thing…” you said, walking over to the pool table where Coyote was so thoroughly invested in the shot he was lining up he didn’t even notice you.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?” you sighed, leaning against the edge of the table and ignoring the confused looks from the other pilots… 

“Well, give me a moment here darling… I’d be happy to oblige once I win this game,” he replied and you chuckled at the suave voice he’d put on to try and impress you, still not realizing who you were. “Holy shit, Jupiter?” he said after he sank his shot and you laughed as he pulled you in for a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d come see what all this Top Gun nonsense was about,” you replied and he brought his hands up to cup your face and squish your cheeks.

“It’s been far too long, what are you drinking?” he asked, already halfway to the bar and you called out beer after him. 

“The Jupiter?” the dark haired woman you recognized as Phoenix said, sticking out her hand and introducing herself. “Those two talk about you so often I honestly thought you were a myth at this point.” 

“I’ve heard a lot about you too… thank you for keeping this one’s ego in check,” you said with a laugh as you gestured to Jake and he just rolled his eyes at you.

“Someone has to,” she muttered before going around and introducing you to everyone else and you smiled as they all eagerly hugged you, seemingly you were already a part of the family with how often Jake and Coyote mentioned you. “Rooster’s around here somewhere, you’ll meet him eventually.” 

“Okay, tell me all about UCSD,” Jake said, directing you to a chair and you filled him in on all the details… maybe leaving out a few about the surgery at first but Bob had appeared out of nowhere and expressed an interest in the gory details which you were happy to share, and Jake took that opportunity to excuse himself when Coyote brought you your drink and challenged him to a round of pool. His friends were great, they asked a lot of questions and hung onto your every word when you answered and they were thrilled to tell you all about their lives as pilots.

“This could be good for you two,” Phoenix said when the two of you found yourselves alone standing by the window overlooking the beach, “did Hangman tell you we might be getting permanent stations?”

“He mentioned it, but definitely downplayed it,” you answered and she nodded.

“It’s looking more like a serious possibility now,” she said and your eyes brightened, “this is the best squad I’ve ever been a part of… if you overlook half of what Hangman says,” she said and you chuckled. “Turns out the bigwigs feel the same and want us to instruct at Top Gun permanently in between deployments.” You tried to temper your excitement.

“I’m sure you’re all loving that idea… might be nice to officially call someplace home,” you mused.

“We’re all excited… besides, the last mission really bonded us, I don’t know if I could just go back to my old squad after that.”

“He didn’t tell me much, assumed he couldn’t, but from what I hear it looked like a few of you weren’t going to make it back for a minute?” 

She nodded, “Rooster and Maverick, Hangman is actually the one who went after them and saved them,” she said and you turned to look at her with wide eyes. “Disobeyed orders too, surprised the hell out of all of us. He’s a jackass but if you ignore all the bravado he’s kind of a good guy,” she said, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Your secrets safe with me,” you chuckled before excusing yourself to grab another drink. You knew from Coyote that Jake had a bit of a rough exterior when it came to work and was often off putting to a lot of other pilots and you were happy to see that he was finding a place here, dropping some of the ego and making real connections. You met Penny who gave you your next round on the house despite how you tried to protest and just as you were about to rejoin the group you came face-to-face with a tall redhead who had an annoyed expression on her face.

“You’re Jupiter?” she asked and when you nodded tentatively you could have sworn she scoffed. “Look, I’m just going to be blunt… Do I need to be worried about you and Hangman?” she asked and you were truthfully stunned and glanced at Penny who gave you a look that seemed to say tread lightly. 

“I’m sorry, you are?” you asked.

“Hannah, he and I are kinda…” she trailed off and you nodded in understanding. You looked her over once more and felt your heart twist as you did, if you looked past her somewhat aggressive disposition she was absolutely stunning. 

“Got it, no you have nothing to worry about… just childhood friends, I’m actually seeing someone back home,” you offered, hoping it would appease her and it seemed to because she disappeared back to her friends and you shook your head in disbelief, tossing back the tequila and smiling at Penny who was already pouring you another. “Thank you,” you said.

“No problem… that happens all the time, there’s always some kind of turf war happening in this bar over the pilots… especially Hangman,” she said and you nodded softly as she went to serve other customers. This shouldn’t hurt, you knew this already but it didn’t do anything to ease the sting or stop the nauseous feeling that took hold in your stomach.

“You’re seeing someone?” You heard Jake ask from behind you and you turned to meet his eyes, letting out a sigh as you did so.

“Kind of? It’s not serious,” you shrugged and really it wasn’t a lie… you weren’t exclusive with Blake, you knew he might want to get there eventually but you weren’t yet. “Didn’t know you were seeing someone,” you added.

“Kind of… it’s not serious,” he repeated your words and you nodded, taking your next shot and looking over to Coyote.

“Your pool partner is beckoning you,” you said and he looked you over, trying to decipher if you were mad or not but he couldn’t tell and honestly neither could you. You had no room to be jealous, you were doing the exact same thing he was. Maybe you were jealous that he wasn’t confronted with it, Blake was just an idea all the way across the country while Hannah was just a few yards away shooting daggers in your direction… you nodded encouragingly, silently telling him to go back to his pool game and you watched as he did so as you leaned against the bar. 

The rest of the group was smiling and laughing, playing darts or engaged in conversation and you thought about how easy it would be if you could just slip in here… you knew you still had to entertain the offers from other hospitals but choosing San Diego just seemed natural and obvious. Your ears perked up as you heard the jukebox suddenly cut out and the sounds of someone tinkering with the keys of the piano and you followed the noise to the end of the bar where you saw a man with a questionable mustache and a rather loud Hawaiian shirt sitting. “You must be Rooster,” you observed and he looked up at you slightly.

“You must be Jupiter,” he shot back, “the girl who has captured everyone’s attention tonight,” he said as you smiled and leaned against the piano.

“I have a tendency to do that,” you chuckled, listening as he switched gears and you recognized the opening notes of Drops of Jupiter, and you let out a loud laugh. “Oh, don’t do it...” you said, trailing off and he just smirked at you, one that you were sure had reeled in a lot of girls before, and it even would have worked on you if you didn’t have Jake to worry about on the other side of the bar.

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair,” he started singing and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as he looked up at you with mischief in his eyes, nudging your leg with his and encouraging you to join in but you just shook your head. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” he said before starting the chorus and you begrudgingly sang along with him, maybe a little out of key but it didn’t seem to matter. The rest of the bar had started to move towards the piano and you had an inkling that this was a regular occurrence in this bar. Rooster seemed to have this natural pull to him, almost like gravity as your new friends circled around you and joined in.

But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Across the bar Jake was watching you with an unreadable expression on his face as you danced and sang with his friends, and while you were lost in the moment as you lead the bar in song with Rooster he was abandoning his conversation with Hannah mid-sentence and walking towards you on no accord of his own… you had your own gravitational pull, and when you met his eyes he felt like nothing else in the world truly mattered. Not when you looked that beautiful, not when you and Rooster had the whole bar eating out of the palms of your hands. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him as he leaned against a beam and smiled that classically Jake smile at you. When you looked away it was to laugh with Phoenix as Rooster really played up the moment and put his whole heart and soul into it and you thought to yourself that this was what you wanted.

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five hour phone conversation, the best soy latte that you ever had and me?

These were the moments that you were missing… and it wasn’t because you didn’t have the time back home, you could make it if you wanted to. It was because you never felt like you could truly let go of yourself until Jake was around, you didn’t know how to relinquish control and go with the flow unless you were in his orbit, knowing that he was watching over you and these were the moments you craved. You wanted more nights in this bar, with these friends and with those green eyes watching you.

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back toward the Milky Way? And tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and then you miss me while you were looking for yourself?

The bar was trying to stay in time with Rooster as he ad-libbed the ending but truthfully it was just chaos as you danced with Phoenix and laughed with Coyote as somewhere Bob was recording the whole thing. You wrapped your arms around Rooster’s shoulders as he finished and placed a kiss to his cheek, “thank you,” you whispered into his ear and he nodded after giving your arm a squeeze. You lifted your head to see Jake still looking at you and you made your way through the throng of people, giving him a look that said are you coming? as you slipped out the doors. You kicked your shoes off and set them beside one of the picnic benches before walking out into the sand and you heard the bar doors open and shut behind you… you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked and you chuckled.

“I didn’t fly all the way across the country to not get my feet wet,” you answered, turning around to face him as you continued walking backwards. “Gonna join me?” you asked before running towards the water and he just watched for a moment.

“Ah, hell,” he muttered, pulling his boots off and abandoning them in the sand as he rolled his khakis up as high as they would go and chased after you. The water was biting on your ankles and you laughed as Jake caught up and wrapped your arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground.

Inside the bar the jukebox had been turned back on and the group had gone back to their usual spots before catching a glimpse of the two of you out there splashing around in the water and laughing under the moonlight and soon they were crowded around the window to watch.

“You mean to tell me that’s Hangman out there?” Payback asked in disbelief.

“Can you blame him?” Rooster asked, “if she wasn’t the Jupiter I’d be doing anything I could to get her to look at me like that,” he said, overlooking you beam up at Jake.

“The real question here is how are they not together?” Phoenix asked and Coyote shrugged.

“They were a long time ago… They broke up before college because they knew it was going to be impossible to stay together.”

“What a load of shit, they are so in love,” she replied with a faux-gag and Hannah scoffed behind them, coming to see what they were all looking at.

“I knew it,” she muttered and Phoenix shot her a glare.

“Just go home already,” she said exasperatedly and the boys all stifled their laughter.

“Oh come on, you guys are shameless,” Bob said as he returned from the bathroom. “Let them have their moment.” 

“I’m sorry about Hannah,” Jake said as you settled in the sand and you just shrugged.

“It’s okay… I’m sorry about Blake,” you replied and he shook his head.

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, too,” you said, turning your head to face him.

“Are you?” he asked and you pondered this for a moment. 

“I don’t know… I’m happy right now,” you offered and he nodded. “I really like it here… and you might be stationed here permanently?” 

He sighed, “maybe… I don’t want you making any career decisions on my behalf,” he said and you looked back to the water.

“I know.” It fell silent between you two as you both watched the waves. You really were happy right now, you’d known the other pilots officially for a handful of hours but you felt like you were better friends with them than Holly or anyone else back in Boston… you’d come out of your shell and you felt like you were at home. You knew he was going to encourage you to at least hear out any other offers from other hospitals, and you knew that you should but you just didn’t want to. Even if Hannah was someone permanent and even if you didn’t really know where the two of you stood you wanted to be here. “Would it be such a bad thing if I did choose San Diego because of you?” you finally asked.

“I don’t know… I just don’t want you missing out on other opportunities,” he answered.

“They made me a really good offer,” you said, turning to look at him and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “The salary is way above a standard fellows, they basically greenlit my rural health initiative, and offered to cover my relocation costs, a mortgage allowance and to absorb all of my loans,” you said and his eyes widened. “Even if I consider other hospitals all they’ll be able to do is try and match that, and it’s a really good hospital… you being here is just kind of the final thing that makes it perfect.”

“If you took me out of the equation and another hospital offered you the same, would you take it?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. San Diego was my number one before I even knew you might be here permanently.” 

He nodded, “don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than for you to be here but I just want you to consider all of your options.”

“I know,” you said, refocusing on the water. “But I just don’t think making a decision because of you would be a bad thing.”

“I didn’t say-”

“You kind of did.” you cut him off, “and I get it… I wouldn’t want you doing the same for me but… Hannah? That sucked, and I know it didn’t feel good hearing me say I was seeing someone,” you said. “I just… I’m tired, Jake. I had more fun tonight than I’ve probably ever had, I can see myself living here and I just don’t want to have to justify that to you because you think I should keep my options open.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him. 

“Everything has been hard… the last ten years of my life have just been hard and I’m finally in a position where I can do something that would make everything so much easier so if that’s what I decide to do just… let me, okay?” 

“Okay,” he said, holding you tight as you let your eyes drift closed. “I’m really proud of you, Jupiter.”

“I know…” you said, twisting your neck to look up at him. “I’m really proud of you too...”

previous part / next part

taglist: @mamaskillerqueen @clancycucumber230 @the-romanian-is-bae @dempy @alldaysdreamers @zzsloth @emma8895eb @novagreen04 @classyunknownlover @olliepig @purplevortexx​ (if your username is struck through, it wouldn’t let me tag you -- sorry!)

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"We should hit one of those flaming tubes sometime."

KIM KITSURAGI - "How about we 'hit' the crime we came here for instead. And by 'hit' I mean 'solve' it. Solve it *hard*."

"Besides, those days are long behind me."

2. "You know I have to take this to Internal Affairs, don't you, lieutenant?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Of course. Here's my gun and my badge." His hands reach out empty. "They'll put me in the chaise for this, but it feels good to have it off my chest."

"You're serious right now?"

"Very funny, lieutenant."

"Let's move on. This has been enough of a detour."

"You brought this on yourself."

KIM KITSURAGI - "All I ask is the chance to close this final case so I can go to the chaise with a clean conscience." His voice is filled with mock pathos. "Let's hurry, I'm living on borrowed time."

Ok, let's cut directly to the chase.

TITUS HARDIE - "It's you again..." He acknowledges you gruffly. "What is it?"

4. "Klaasje says she wasn't raped."

TITUS HARDIE - "Fuck!" The big man's eyes and veins bulge. "I knew that fucking whore couldn't be trusted!"

Task complete: Speak to the assault victim

+10 XP

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - You've hit a nerve. Titus is furious -- no, more than that -- the loyal Titus feels *betrayed*.

ELIZABETH - "For the record..." she steps in, forcefully. "Titus Hardie did not explicitly specify the *victim* as a whore. Nor did he say anything about trusting her."

TITUS HARDIE - "Oh, shut up and stay out of this, Liz!" He turns back to you. "He raped her. He was out of his fucking mind. You have no idea!"

ALAIN - "She's just in denial, asshole. You don't understand the *traumatic experience*. She's shutting down. And she doesn't fucking trust you."

SHANKY - "Yes, she's crazy, you know," the rat-faced man says carefully. "A crazy-bitch -- you know the type. She's fucked up."

"Crazy? What are you talking about? She was very lucid."

"I did think that, yes -- that she's a *little* crazy…"

"Cut the bullshit. She told me the truth."

KIM KITSURAGI - "She wasn't raped." The lieutenant's voice is beginning to betray his agitation. "The witness' statements were very clear."

TITUS HARDIE - "Lawman..." he says through clenched teeth. "... I am at the end of my *goddamn* rope with you. I fucking told you not to push her!"

"And you went and pushed her." Something breaks in him. He takes a step closer and says: "I am going to… fucking…"

ELIZABETH - "TITUS HARDIE!" Her voice rings through the room like a warning shot.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - Success. Titus backs off. Fists down, everybody.

ELIZABETH - "Evrart *personally* sent me to take care of this. If this goes south we'll all be in the shit -- but you, Titus Hardie, are going to be buried. Am I understood?"

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The rest of the cafeteria has gone quiet too.

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - Someone has to rush in to break the tension. The second in command.

ALAIN - "Look, copper." The tattooed man snaps his fingers to get your attention. "We know the dead fuck was a rapist and a killer. We got him confessing to it on tape."

"Show it to him, T." He turns to Titus, who's still breathing heavily. "What's the harm, right?"

TITUS HARDIE - "Here, jerkwad!" He slams an audiotape on the table. "Listen to this shit, and then come back and tell me the *Soldier of the Apocalypse* was an innocent man."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - This is their last play -- this tape. Their story is in tatters, a mess. It might be nice to listen to -- but at this point, you don't need to.

"Why should I care about the tape? You lied to me."

"So what's on this tape?"

"Where did you get this tape?"

"Where can I listen to this?"

"That's enough for now. I'll get back to the investigation." (Conclude.)

TITUS HARDIE - "You don't care about *evidence*?" His eye twitches. "The fuck are you a cop for then?"

ALAIN - "Pigs, T -- they don't care about getting the truth, they care about getting convictions. They're fucking keeping score on their bulletin boards."

TITUS HARDIE - "I won't be on your bulletin board. If you don't listen to the tape we got *nothing* to talk about."

2. "So what's on this tape?"

TITUS HARDIE - "What's on it? We call it the Doorgunner Megamix. You'll know why, once you listen to it."

3. "Where did you get this tape?"

TITUS HARDIE - "You think we go into this shit deaf and dumb? You RCM aren't the only ones who know how to bug people -- there's no university degree for that."

"So you've bugged them? How?"

TITUS HARDIE - "We have machines." He nods. "We're in logistics -- how do you think a harbour works? It's advanced stuff."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Understood -- you've listened in on their communications." He takes a little note. "How long?"

TITUS HARDIE - "Since way before their chief started taking swing lessons."

SHANKY - "Things got nice and quiet after that."

"Which one of you is doing this advanced radio work then?"

"I think I get the picture."

FAT ANGUS - "It's not advanced," the heavy man wheezes. "You're just holed up in a coop all day, writing down what they say. It gets hot as hell in there."

TITUS HARDIE - "Don't put yourself down, Angus. It's important work." The chief picks his beer back up -- to offer a silent toast.

EUGENE - "Yeah, man, you're like a radio genius or something. Those notes are some in depth stuff. Indexes and shit."

4. "Where can I listen to this?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure we can find a tape player," the lieutenant whispers.

SHANKY - "'Where can I listen to this?'" he mocks you. "Why don't you try shoving it up your ass, genius?!"

GLEN - "Yeah, play it with your ass, COCKSUCKER!" His voice echoes like thunder in the small room.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure we can find a tape player. It's not a problem," he repeats calmly in a hushed voice.

INTERFACING [Easy: Success] - Your room had one, or maybe it's too broken...

5. "That's enough for now. I'll get back to the investigation." (Conclude.)

TITUS HARDIE - "Don't forget your tape, lawman." He pushes the little tape toward you with his giant hand. "Compliments of Titus Hardie."

(Take the tape.) "Fine. I'll listen to it."

(Leave the tape.) "No thanks, Titus. I can get this wrapped up better without it."

Item gained: "Doorgunner Megamix"

New task: Doorgunner Megamix

TITUS HARDIE - "You do that," he says, adjusting his belt buckle. "Oh, and keep it -- maybe you'll need a reminder of human ugliness some day."

4. "I'm going to take off now." [Leave.]

TAPE "DOORGUNNER MEGAMIX"

A magnetic tape acquired from Titus Hardie. It supposedly holds a recording of the mercenary task force radio communications recorded via a de-encryption station. Not a good omen. Requires a boombox to play.

>INTERACT

THE GREAT DOORGUNNER MEGAMIX - You stare at the Great Doorgunner Megamix. If only you had a boombox, you would be able to play Titus' tape.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - The tape feels ominous... Upon it, the dead speak. Respect the tape!

Well, let's check that tape deck in our room, then.

Kim tries not to look at your broken down bathroom door.

STEREO 8 PLAYER - The compact tape player is still and silent. Seems it has completely broken down now.

KIM KITSURAGI - "This would have been *very* helpful with the 'Megamix'." He stares at the tape player. "But it isn't anymore."

"Yeah… any ideas?"

"It's not *my* fault."

KIM KITSURAGI - "My Kineema only comes with a radio," he ponders. "Let's try to find a new tape player. Perhaps we should talk to Roy at the pawnshop -- he has stuff."

[astroadonis]

A doodle page inspired by @jabberwockprince 's idea (and a few other's amazing additions to it) about the hanahaki disease in the setting of nsr characters.

I would recommend taking my little addition with a grain of salt, because I am pretty sure there might be some "plot holes" in it, as I find this topic rather tricky. Also a lot of this will be heavily relying on my personal headcanons, so it might not seem logical to everybody.

I was curious to explore Novas case, because I haven't seen anyone mention him just yet. (If I'm mistaken, then I am very sorry!!)

I chose a flower called Blue Star, the reason for it is probably pretty obvious. It has a few different meanings attached to it:

The first being how it is associated with perseverance, strength and determination, which can be seen in Novas character. I think these qualities are something like a base for his arrogance and self admiration, in a way.

And the second being how it is a symbol of reaching for something unreachable, impossible. This also led me to think that it would fit DJ nicely, knowing his grandiose goal of becoming "the avatar".

Now, when it comes to the theme of repressed feelings, I'd like to think about the sense of loneliness, disappointment in oneself and...perhaps a pinch of anxiety??

I was thinking about how Nova's confidence and narcissism would lead to him not having a lot of "friends", to put it simply. He would distance himself from everyone, as no one is able to meet his standards. Also, he might not want to make any acquaintances in general, thinking its not important in the grand scheme of things. It might sound odd, but putting it into context makes me think of this fact differently. After the revolution his satellite is destroyed. The project that was supposed to make his goal come true is now gone for such a stupid reason. I'm guessing it would make him *somewhat* upset, now that he has to start from scratch. Would there be anyone to help him get over that loss, as well as probable disappointment in himself and his creation, which proved itself to be unreliable? Not really.

He would have to keep all the anger and stress to himself, which would make him even more distant from others, now that he's easy to irritate. That would be the moment when he would start noticing that something strange is going on.

As for a little explanation for some of the doodles:

The one with the headphones comes from an idea that he would try listening to his own music as a distraction. It would work until the flowers would start growing right out of his headphones, making it hard to listen.

Also, he doesn't have a throat nor a moth, so I decided that the flowers would first appear out of the hole thing where his neck should be. And as things get more and more serious, his orb would start cracking, revealing the blue flowers from the depths of his cosmos insides.

Now, I really REALLY hope that I got the whole idea right, please feel free to correct me in case I got it all wrong!! It would mean a whole lot!!

[mask131]

Misconception of Greek myths: the Hades/Zeus case

For a long time there was a tradition in American media to depict Hades as the “evil guy”, of Greek mythology. This tradition has now been fought off enough that everybody knows Hades for not being a bad guy. This initial tradition of making Hades the antagonist was usually born of a Christian point of view: Hades, as the dark ruler of the underworld, was equated with the devil of Christian belief. It was notably what Disney did with their incarnation of Hades. 

And in return, Zeus was often equated or compared with the Christian god. Seen as the “big good” opposing Hades, you know being the just, fair, benevolent ruler of the sky and all that... The process of re-establishing Hades as NOT being the bad guy was a process of getting rid of the Christian division between “good and evil” in the Hades/Zeus duo, establishing the Underworld is NOT Hell and Olympus is NOT Heaven. 

But I noticed something happening in return. The more Hades is washed away from all the “devil image” given to him... the more evil Zeus is made out to be. As Hades becomes the “nicest god of all the pantheon”, Zeus in returns is now described and seen as almost the big bad of Greek mythology. There was a complete backflip... and that’s a big problem.

Because Zeus was seen as the “big good” of Greek mythology for a reason. He was a god and embodiment of justice, of civilization, of order. He was in many myths a hero, he was one of the most revered and admired gods of the Ancient Greeks. Yes when you compile all of his mythical and legendary depictions you get a flawed character with lots of misdeeds and bad behavior to his account... But by focusing exclusively on these flaws from legends, you lose a good part of the identity and essence of Zeus ; by focusing on applying modern morals to ancient texts you lose a lot of needed context ; and more damagely, by focusing on the Ancient texts on a first-degree basis you lose all the subtext, all the metaphors and all the allegories. 

What I want to get at is that, yes it is reasonable, justifiable and logical to have a negative depiction of Zeus today. But my problem is with how people think that “evil Zeus” is the ACTUAL depiction of Zeus in Ancient Greek mythology ; how “evil Zeus” is the “right” and “correct” and “only” depiction of Zeus possible. There is a whole “devilization” of Zeus that basically does to him what was done to Hades previously. Yes modern sensibilities and current knowledge invites to a re-evaluation of Zeus and a reconsideration of the myths he is involved in... but it doesn’t remove the fact that he was considered the “big good” of Greek mythology for a reason, and by understanding this reason(s) you find a very different interpretation of Zeus. 

In fact, the parallel could be made even more explicit by how today a lot of people depict Hades as nice. Like... kind. Gentle. Sweet. As with Zeus’ flaws being put under the spotlight, highlighting the niceness of Hades is something that was much needed to break an American-Christian visions of Greek mythology. BUT just like with Zeus, things are going a bit too far. Yes Hades was the most decent god compared to other deities in terms of behavior. But “decent” doesn’t mean “nice” or “kind”. The same way understanding why Zeus was loved restores his true “identity”, to truly understand Hades we should understand why he was feared by the Greeks in the first place.

Hades was expressedly described as a harsh, stern, cold and merciless entity. Yes he stayed faithful to his wife ; yes he kept to himself and didn’t meddle with the affairs of the world ; yes he was a fair judge who kept to his job and merely applied the cosmic rules and the afterlife justice... But there was a reason why Orpheus moving him with his song is deemed as an extraordinary and heroic feat. There’s a reason why Hades falling in love with Persephone was such a big deal. Hades was sinister because he was just as gloomy and morbid as the numerous monsters, ghosts and evil gods he dwelled with below the world. Hades made no exceptions and was an embodiment of the most iron-rigid bureaucracy you can imagine. There’s a reason why Hades has an image of a heartless entity. Sparing people or making exceptions was not in his nature. He was the “fairness” of justice in its coldest and most clinical aspect. He wasn’t a god who laughed or smiled. He was iron-hearted. 

Once more: depicting Hades as a nice guy, as a clumsy and shy guy keeping to himself, as a good guy is not a “wrong” interpretation of him. Hades was “good” in Greek myths - but people shouldn’t forget that he was a sinister, harsh, bureaucratic, cold form of goodness and justice. He wasn’t “nice”. I would dare say that, if I had to take a Discworld equivalent, Hades was the same kind of “goodness” as Granny Weatherwax. A good that is DEFINITIVELY not nice nor liked, and who visibly doesn’t care if it is seen as nice or good by other people. 

EDIT: For a bit more nuance about Zeus I can redirect you to this post I reblogged some times ago that took a look at Zeus’ “parenting” when analyzed in details. I do not say that it is a scholarly study, but it is a nice way to point out that people tend to demonize a lot Zeus’ behavior in ancient texts when the truth is that it is more subtle than that

https://at.tumblr.com/mask131/littlesparklight-littlesparklight-we-all-know/pfkm4ak0skjz

[mageofminge]

weezer's gay allegations: a rant

i was browsing through the weezer subreddit the other day and noticed the 'is brian gay?' post got deleted. from what i get most of these silly posts would get kept so idk why this one specifically got deleted. im not sure ab how much brian interacts with his fans (given his vibe id think itd be almost him looking him and his bandmates up to see what ppl are saying ab him, esp since i heard people had been told to delete posts that had memes ab him being a nonce (which is honestly fair enough bc that could be on the border of spreading misinformation/slander) but idrk). either way, it seems like either brian, someone close to brian, or someone high up on the official weezer fanclub/'fandom' really does not like the gay allegations surrounding him.

if that is the case tho, i am kinda torn on how to approach this.

on one hand, as a weezer fan with a queer identity, even though i know that all of the members are probably cishet, it is still fun to joke about these things. or even just speculation, though logically i know it is likely to be false, its still comforting for me to already see this male figure i look up to, and then to further serve as inspiration to myself, somewhat project my queerness onto him. furthermore, to me at least, his actual sexuality (ignoring my projecting) does not play a role in how i perceive him. to me all of these gay allegations are just harmless jokes, i don't really take them seriously, especially since that's his private life and stuff.

on the other hand though, regardless of what his sexuality actually is, those allegations could have quite dodgy implications, considering there are people in the world, and heck even in a fanbase as queer and nd as weezer, who aren't very accepting of queerness. the way I see it is, if the gay allegations spiral out of control there are two possible outcomes:

brian is not gay, or queer in any way. regardless, he continues to be harassed about his sexuality by people who don't believe him. he will never beat the gay allegations. people will always be constantly doubting him regarding his identity, and i can imagine that would cause a lot of stress. or it could be...

brian is gay (or at least some variant of queer) and is outed against his will.

neither of these options are particularly pleasant. the key thing tho is those outcomes rest on the condition that the gay allegations do get out of control. firstly i just want everyone to kind of realise that public figures, just like everybody else are entitled to privacy, especially regarding their sexuality. secondly, while i think that simply making gay allegation jokes isn't necessarily inherently harmful, esp in the context of queer people looking up to public figures, we should still all be well aware that it is just a joke and nothing more. it would also be nice if some of the other members who are the target of these allegations had a sense of humour and played along with the jokes. i mean, this is something rivers already kinda does with his zesty bit, and i fucking love it - i think its hilarious and i also appreciate how hes able to interact with fans and also 'make fun' of himself without being too self-conscious. and it would be rlly cool if we could have a similar level of fan interaction (within appropriate boundaries) from other members too.

anyways idk if that made a lick of sense but yeah, what are y'alls thoughts on this.

[holkazmesice]

The thing is –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

(about trauma, being hurt, having emotional damage, baggage, living with consequences of events out of your control)

nobody owes you healing the mistakes of other people or mending your past.

I see a lot of tumblrians in my feed sharing personal intense feelings regarding BPD or traumatic responses and mechanisms stemming from their (C)PTSD and other mental illnesses that resulted from being mistreated or hurt (many times repeatedly). I myself was officially diagnosed with BPD almost 15 years ago now, C-PTSD 4 years ago, OCD 3 years ago, AuDHD this year. I've been getting panic attacks since I was 6 years old, suffered from insomnia my whole life and when I get overloaded or triggered, I cannot leave my flat and tend to heavily dissociate (to the point of not remembering what I did for hours, sometimes days). I think this needs to be said prior to my stream of consciousness, just in case. I am coming out from a place of experience with my own (sometimes failed) attempts at recovery.

There is no one else who should "fix" what others caused. I wish there was. I wish somebody was made responsible, held accountable and had to treat you nicely and with regards to trauma you have been through. I wish somebody would allocate people who would willingly put up with bullshit trauma causes you to think, fixate on, obssess about, who would reassure you constantly, kept you company for all eternity and never lost patience with you, regardless of how irrational your behaviour got. I wish it was possible to employ a new person to be everything somebody else wasn't just because you are in pain and need to heal.

But trauma doesn't mandate special treatment. It can provide explanation for sometimes erratic behaviour, disturbing thought patterns, unhealthy coping mechanisms, trauma responses during unpleasant interactions; but opening up about your past doesn't warrant you a happy ending just because you've suffered enough. Nobody else in the world owes you that kind of attention. That's Hollywood poppycock, tear-jerking movie logic, Spielberg-crafted illusion of closure. Hundreds and hundreds of books written about how it should work in ideal world. But in reality, is it really fair to hold any human responsible for somebody else's fuck up and expect them to fix it?

I am not trying to discourage anybody from seeking help, opening up to their friends or family, searching for a person nice enough to stick around for, by no means. I am talking about the "I told you I was hurt/traumatised by somebody doing X and you did X anyway" logic, very common phenomenon, especially in BPD brains. Expecting people to stick around just because they know how much it hurts you when somebody leaves – well, that's just emotional blackmail, isn't it? Is it actually healing, having "somebody to stick around for once", if said somebody can't leave you out of obligation, guilt or worry you will hurt yourself if they do? Does it amend past trauma if they genuinely don't want to stick around, but feel like they don't have a choice? (And doesn't that kind of make you the toxic one now? Do you want to become potential trauma to somebody else, knowing how much effort it takes to rid yourself of it?)

If they don't want to stay, don't force them. Maybe instead heal a little bit through letting go of somebody consciously and out of your own volition. Take control over your life again, don't make yourself miserable and feel worthless because of "another one gone, everybody leaves me anyway". They are not neccessarily another one to prove the pattern, nor should any individual human bear such kind of power over your mental health. Your mind holds the pattern. Don't mash somebody in an algorithm if they don't compute, don't let your fears become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Break the cycle and stay conscious of tendencies to shift your traumatic perception into a reality. Others are not obliged to love you unconditionally. You should be.

[safetycar-restart]

Well so that motogp race was something thats for sure. So Bezz won! One of the good things.

So in abo hes the cuddliest of alphas, but most of the others in the academy had not so fun sunday. Would it be like a big pile of lets cuddle Bezz aggresivly and compliment him on his victory? If hes got his new alpha partner do they get dragged away into a nest in preperation for pack cuddles? Or do they shove Bezz and his partner into a room full of pillows, candles, nice things to eat and lots of lube? Do Bezz try and insist to cuddle their sadness away until hes looked into said room to actually celebrate?

Cheers from 🏍 anon

Aw yes!!!! I’m always down for VR46 a/b/o!!

So for anyone who doesn't know, we said that Bezz is the only alpha in the VR46 pack, which is comprised of all the riders in the VR46 academy. He's everyones's emotional support alpha, giving cuddles and kisses to whoever needs. Reader is also an alpha, who is in a relationship with Bezz. The other pack members meet you and immediately just kinda... take you. They now have two emotional support alphas.

Anyway, on to the actual content!!

I definitely think that Bezz would want to check in on everybody! It was a shit day for every pack member except him and Cele, so of course he needs to make sure everyone is okay and looked after. He would never celebrate his victory if he thought his pack needed him.

Honestly, I think you would already be in a nest when Bezz wins? The first to crash out was Luca, and Luca absolutely finds you in the VR46 garage and demands cuddles IMMEDIATELY. You are one of two emotional support alphas and the other one is still racing so it's up to you to provide comfort. So you find yourself in a nest with Luca, Cele and Migno watching the race.

Pecco crashes out next, and of course he immediately comes to join the nest.

You're all so happy that Bezz won!! You're all cheering as he crosses the line. As much as you want to go watch him on the podium, Pecco and Luca are in no state to leave the nest and you know that Bezz would rather you stay with them. So you all watch the podium, and they all sing the anthem, and then wait patiently for Bezz to come in.

Pretty soon a very happy and thoroughly champagne soaked Bezz comes barrelling through and everyone jumps up to congratulate him.

You wait your turn, letting everyone else jump on him and kiss him and hug him. Once they've all done that, they let you have a moment with him. You just hug him close and press a kiss to his nose before gently removing his nose plaster, congratulating him on his victory.

I do think that Bezz would stay in the nest with you and the others for a while. I think they all really enjoy debriefing together? They all talk through the race and their different prospectives and it helps everyone calm down and decompress. You're there to provide an objective view in case things get heated. The rule is always to work everything out in a nest after the race, never to let it fester.

Bezz decides that because he's won, everyone gets a cheat meal. Yes that logic is pretty flawed but no one questions him on it. So you all order burgers and eat in the nest, having a nice meal and facetiming Vale too.

It's after dinner that you and Bezz get kicked out.

Which is quite odd when you think about it, considering that you're all in Bezz's motorhome. So you two get kicked out of your own motorhome and get given the key to Peccos.

Neither of you argue with them, because they're all VERY determined to ensure you and Bezz get to celebrate even though the rest of them aren't in the mood.

(By determined I mean that Cele packs you guys a bag of snacks and lube and Pecco and Luca gather some nesting materials in another bag so you two basically get sent off with a 'go fuck' kit).

[zenmom]

Jealousy is a terrible emotion.

This comic is based on how I felt when a new person joined in on the au. I was cool with Teri Beari, until someone came and had the attention like they’re in the spotlight and I’m in the shadows🥲. Yeah, I at times feel bitter. Until @sunny1927 liked one of my posts and maybe commented? I don’t know, but she is genuinely being a nice person to everybody.

Donald and Mickey are busy getting the papers done. And Donald is looking serenely at sunny and I discussing the case.

Donald: it’s nice that Sunny and Zenmom are on friendly terms.

Mickey: I can see that. It’s lovely.

Donald: their terms are better now than at the beginning.

Mickey: wait what?

Donald:yeah, when they first met, their first encounter some after that wasn’t great. Zenmom was cold and said the only basic interactions with Sunny and then goes past her. It’s like she doesn’t want to talk to her at all!

Mickey: why? I didn’t know she can be cold. I thought she’s warm.

Donald: That’s because there were Teri and Zen besides us. Why? Whenever Zenmom does work about a case, explains logic about the case .eta, she gets a glimmer of praise. But when Sunny helps us, she gets more praise than her, and even gets the praise from the creator! No wonder her cold, negative side’s showing, although she tries her best to hide it, as she works in the shadows.

Mickey: So how did Zenmom became friendly all of the sudden?

Donald: Sunny told me that after she commented on Zen’s work, she became more friendly. I don’t know what does it, but I could imagine her eyes watering up from Sunny’s compliment.

Yeah, that’s the story. Yeah it’s kinda… I don’t know. But one thing’s for certain: jealousy makes me feel cold. I would never wish to do harm on anyone, especially if they’re innocent, kind, honest or very friendly and/or helpful.

[vulpiximisa]

so i finally finished chapter 0 and if the rest of the cases are going to be like this i low key wanna die

the mystery labyrinth is sooooooo long???? at first glance it looks super cool but then you realize youre just making yuma walk down a long corridor while him and shinigami talk. And he cant even run any faster

and like, how many modes/mini games are there???? the reasoning death match yeah, okay valid. interesting to see yuma literally dodging the verbal assaults, i like the sword over bullets but whatever

then you chose between door options, not sure if theres a DR equivalent of that but okay, but must we see yuma getting slashed every single time

then theres the “reinvestigate the mind crime scene” like uhhhhh sure. I personally hate these kinds of “lets replicate the crime scene” types (AAI Kay’s Little Thief) because its like, how Valid are these clues anyway if youre physically not there

then theres the minecart which is mind logic, fine, i guess

shinigami beach barrel is... a better version of hangmans gambit but not too much better. I like her eye beams. 

GOD gami is.... the idea is funny but iunno why we needed it (their version of the bullet time battle i think?)

AND WE STILL RECREATE THE CRIME IN A COMIC FORM but its in the death note book. ????????? like i get that the wrap up is is necessary but was the comic book format the only way? The stills are very nice though but it loses the charm from DR where it had a different overall style from the rest of the game

like my take away from this first case (its not even the first case its case 0 and now im on the prologue???????) is the graphics are nice but that labyrinth went on for waaaay too long and i dont know if the dialogue is just not for me anymore but it just being yuma and gami is already tiring.

Theres a lot of just talking sequences and yeah in the end of the day its supposed to be a little more than a visual novel but it just feels so slow sometimes?

rip those detectives in the first case, what a waste of characters. i mean, maybe we will re open the case or see mentions of them later but iunno, somehow doubt

Okay so i had already deduced Zilch as the culprit, knowing he used Aphex’s body as a duplicate. (Nice call back to DR1-5). I knew Car 1 and 5 were swapped but I guess I didn’t understand the world enough because of the existence of Shinigami and the “Fortes” so I was under the impression that Zilch’s real Forte was to make things swap and he was lying about the animals. The fact that they explained the whole train car swap logically made me feel like i was thinking too far like a professor layton mystery lmfao.

My dumb ass did not remember the names of the characters so i was having a ball during the minecart mind logic part

anyway on to the prologue, i know as hell that yakou is a fan favorite. everybody loves a scruffy gintoki voiced by koyasu. (not me, but i know ppl like older 20s/young 30s year old “dads”)

[naneun-no]

I'm that anon. First of all thanks for the reply. People tend to ignore anons like this. Maybe you don't believe me but jikook is my favorite duo. I don't believe that tk are a couple, but I noticed that they're more close than before. And that's okay. The point is that what tkkrs are saying is the truth: after the hiatus, tk are free to live their lives and they're often together. And jikook is nowhere to be found. And maybe they see each other sometimes but you really think it's a positive thing if they see each other only at home? Why they can't do normal things like playing bowling etc like normal people? If taekook can do that, why jikook can't? And I dont believe in the excuse "jikook is private" because again, people spotted Jk at restaurants alone or with friends and they spotted taekook many times. So the only explanation is that jikook don't hang out or that taekook is more close than jikook. And if taekook are more close, clearly jikook are not a couple (and it doesn't mean that tk is real but it means that jikook is not real). I don't want to see jikook everyday, but I think that if they hang out sometimes, it's impossible that nobody spotted them, because they often see Jungkook or tk. So the reality is that probably jikook only meet if Jimin visits him, exactly like what happened on Jk's birthday. That's all. How can you believe that they're a couple? I believe they're friends. But not close friends like I thought. Jungkook prefers to hang out with Tae or Hobi (he even met Jin in october). So, he only sees Jimin if they have to film something or during birthdays because they're nice to each other? And the rest of their free time they spend it with other people?

P.s. maybe Tae was tired or sick that day. Who cares that he didn't visit Jk on his birthday if he can hang out with him the rest of the time? Do you prefer to see your friend one day in a year for their birthday (jikook) or many times in a year because you actually like to spend time with them? (Taekook)

Hello again! You seem sweet, I’m gonna take you at face value, cause at the end of the day I don’t really care. I want you to enjoy your life, I want me to enjoy mine, and if you want to read more into taekook hanging out you are so welcome to do so — like I already said.

When you ask how can I believe they’re a couple: easy. For me, I see chemistry, I see closeness, I see something between Jikook that I don’t see between any of the other members. And it sure as hell isn’t just “niceness.” That hasn’t changed, despite not seeing them out and about for a while. In fact, I think there may be several reasons that they may be actively avoiding being seen together, @kanmom51 has a great post about that, you can and should read it here:

I also don’t buy into the idea that it would be impossible for them not to be seen together. Celebrities, especially as insanely famous as these guys, can and should go to great lengths to preserve the last shreds of their privacy. I want that for them. Your statement “so the only explanation is that Jikook don’t hang out” is flawed. There are a lot of explanations for why we haven’t seen a pic of them hanging out (other than the ones we have). I’m someone who almost NEVER posts on social media about my personal life. If everybody I know went by your logic, they’d assume that my husband and I called it quits YEARS ago. Guess what? We didn’t.

I think you’re latching onto them not being seen in public and not posting too much on social media (cause let’s be real, what they are posting is adorable as hell and, in the case of Jungkook’s birthday video, very *ahem* not het) and using that as a springboard for a whole host of assumptions that don’t have any reality behind them.

I assume they spend time together because of JK knowing what kind of noodles JM didn’t want during the post-Busan-concert vlive (conversely, he didn’t know that Tae had given up drinking for months in the same vlive). Because of JK’s mom making birthday soup in honor of JM’s birthday (and JK could have clarified, could have said “she does that for everyone in the band though” but he didn’t). Because during that same vlive they simultaneously did a dance from a tv show without even looking at each other or being surprised that the other did it, which suggests that they watched it together, or at least have done that before, off camera. Because when Jimin put his lips RIGHT up to Jungkook’s ear during that we photoshoot to, idk, blow a fluff off of it or something, JK barely even flinched, much less moved away — almost like he’s used to having JM’s face that close to his. Same with JM’s reaction to JK groping his waist under his shirt for no apparent reason in Memories 2021.

Bottom line, you’re grasping. You’re using a few months worth of no fan-sightings (that we can confirm, mind you) to invalidate a bond that JM and JK have repeatedly shown us is meaningful to them. You’re free to start your own blog about how Jikook-used-to-be-close-but-aren’t, but it’s probably gonna be awkward when they come out with the next incidence of being as close as ever.

[beauty-and-passion]

Sanders Sides Q&A: learning more

As you all can deduce from the title, this isn't a normal Sanders Sides episode: this is a Q&A, so we will have just funny questions, funny answers, a lot of laughs and zero foreshadowing. Definitely.

Okay, fine, there is some foreshadowing. And the way it has been used kinda confirms what I said in my last analysis: something changed. This series isn't just "funny sketches with funny figures" anymore. The figures are now characters, with names and personalities. And with this Q&A, Thomas is making his public aware of it.

___________

Murderers and lies

[Thomas]: What is your favorite book? [Logan]: Ooh! The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. Phenomenal ending. The murderer was— [Thomas]: WHAAAT ARE YOU DOING?! [Logan]: What? I'm providing valuable insight into the novel.

If you never read this book and want to do it, skip this part because, as you can guess, I will spoil the ending.

This book has a narrator, Dr James Sheppard, who becomes Poirot's assistant for the case.  At the end of the book, with an unexpected plot twist, we find out that the narrator was the murderer. For the entire time, he used literary techniques to conceal his guilt: he never openly lied, but he didn't tell the entire truth either. He wrote down his thoughts and notes about the case, but hid his involvement. In other words: he is the perfect example of an unreliable narrator.

Agatha Christie uses this literal figure to play a "mind game" with the readers and to emphasize the intelligence of her detective: at the end, Poirot finds out who the murderer was, because he read what Sheppard wrote. So he basically read the entire book, just like us. He has no other information, aside from the same that has been given to us.

But while we were distracted by the story and the plot, Poirot was not, he connected all the dots and found the culprit.

I think Logan likes this book, exactly because of this little “mind game”. In other thrillers, the reader has a passive role and all the narrator does is accompany them to the solution. Here the reader can be involved, if they are clever enough to connect all dots and not trust anyone, narrator included. It is an unexpected change and a nice stimulation for a logical, analytical mind.

In addition to that, we cannot deny the role lies play in this novel. Lies are what kept the story together and offered the plot twist. They are essential for the story. But they are also what hid the truth until the end.

And if we think about this, Logan's words in CLBG are even more interesting:

[Logan]: Given all the variations of dishonesty, lies of omission, lies of commission, et cetera, lies can be fairly difficult to avoid. (...) Very few people are always honest one hundred percent of the time. They're a very rare breed.

No one can be honest all the time, not even a narrator. Lies are difficult to avoid, because they are everywhere, even when they are not supposed to be. Like, you know, during the narration of a thriller.

And yes, lies are very different. Because one thing is the suspension of disbelief: this is a necessary lie to enjoy the story. Another thing is the narrator lying to hide their involvement.

[Deceit]: What you don't know can't hurt you. [Logan]: FALSEHOOD. Knowledge is an incomparably valuable multi-purpose tool that is instrumental in identifying and solving any problem. If you're worried about getting hurt... then seek knowledge; it is our greatest weapon... and our greatest defense.

In The Murder of Roger Ackroyd knowledge is both a weapon and a defense. Sheppard used it to build a complex lie that could have fooled the readers, Poirot shielded himself from that lie by seeking knowledge. And, as Logan says, knowledge can be used to solve a problem indeed - like a muder case.

___________________

Rectifying the mistake

[Thomas]: Are you the same for everybody? [Anxiety]: No, I'm not the same for everybody. I'm Thomas' anxiety. Everyone's works differently. [Thomas]: Yeah, mine's just a little... heightened. [Anxiety]: Exactly. Can I go? [Thomas]: Nah, stick around. [Anxiety]: You never want me to stick around...

Here we can see Thomas fixing the mistake he made in ​Anxiety’s introductory video​. Now we have a clear confirmation that this guy is not the general concept of anxiety, but Thomas’ specific anxiety. And that means ​Morality, Creativity and Logic are also Thomas​' specific aspects​, not general concepts.

​This gives Mr. Sanders a lot more creative freedom, because his characters do not have to stick to the norm anymore: if they are specific for one individual, they can be the embodiment of these general concepts, but also something more. ​They can have more functions. And they can do things usually impossible to do (like ducking out).

Also, please notice that this is the first time Thomas asks Anxiety to stick around. For the first time, Thomas doesn't give him the cold shoulder, but accepts his presence. And ​I love ​the surprise​/​confusion​ on Anxiety's face​: it clearly implies that this has never happened, Thomas has never wanted him around.

Something is starting to change.

___________________

Princey, Princey, Princey...

[Thomas]: Princey (...) do you have a prince or princess that you are in love with? [Princey]: I am currently between princes and princesses. I am on a solo quest to help save... myself, for right now.

Oh, Princey. What a bad liar you are. Saving yourself or thinking about yourself? Sure, name me three times this happened. Do you know what I remember of you, my dear "oh no, I am thinking about me, I should love me first?"

[Roman]: I so... SO badly want this. I- I'm desperate for it... but you can't have true love... if the relationship isn't built on truth. (FWSA)

Ah yes, truly the words of a man who thinks about himself only and is not desperately searching for love because this way he can ignore everything else going wrong in his life.

___________________

Time to overanalyze... or not?

Yep, it's time to talk about the songs. Again.

(I will keep it short this time, I swear.)

Thomas asked his sides how they are feeling and they should reply with a song title. The titles have been chosen to emphasize their personalities: so Logic is just okay, Anxiety is not okay, Creativity is confident (I know, I know, it's funny just like this) and Morality is a silly guy. There is nothing else to analyze.

But hey, welcome to the Sanders Sides fandom: we love to overanalyze everything and this is exactly what I will do with these songs.

Before starting: of course there is a very huge possibility that these songs have just been chosen because of their titles. I know that. But I also know that Mr. Sanders likes to hide hints. And one of these songs is in one of the Sides' playlist (and we know by Thomas' own admission that the playlists have meanings and references). So these songs might just be random... but also they might be not.

And if they're not, get ready because some of them are incredible.

---

LOGIC: Comfortably Numb

When I found out what this song was about, it blew my mind.

First of all, it is based on a true story: the singer was sick before a show, so the doctor injected him with some tranquilizer to enable him to perform. Thanks to the meds, he was finally able to go on stage, but he was also suffering the counter effects of the tranquilizer: his hands were stiff, his vision was blurry. However, no one in the public realized that, because they were too excited and kept jumping/screaming.

This leads to one of the biggest themes of this song: the lack of communication between the public and the band. The singer doesn't feel any physical pain anymore, sure, but the medicines didn't give him happiness. He is alone. Other people see him, but no one listens to him.

Doesn't that remind you of anything?

That's not all. If we go deeper, this song can be considered a huge metaphor. Going on stage equals facing society, relationships and everything going on in your life. In order to do that, society pretends you are productive and successful, even when you don't feel like it.

So, in order to satiate that need, you take your medicine. And this medicine can be anything that suppresses your pain, your emotions, your humanity. Because these parts of yourself are not important, when you have to be productive. You cannot waste time dealing with pesky feelings, when there is a job to do.

But refusing to deal with your humanity and rejecting parts of yourself doesn't make you feel better. On the other hand, it makes you numb to everything. You might be physically here, but your own self is not present. You are watching your life from the outside, as if everything is just a show and you are slowly moving away from it.

This is what Comfortably Numb is about. Loneliness, searching for a meaning, inability to communicate, losing of humanity. And these are all issues Logan has. All of them.

And what surprises me the most is that they have always been here since episode ten. Even before Logan became the frustrated, passive-aggressive character he is now, all of his issues have been revealed to us by a goddamn song in a goddamn Q&A.

I refuse to believe this was just a huge coincidence and blame Mr. Sanders instead for being so good at hinting stuff.

---

CREATIVITY: All I Do Is Win

If Logan's song literally smacked all of his issues in our faces, this one doesn't have as much to offer.

The song is about how cool and awesome the singer is. It has a lot of motivational, uplifting vibes, to the point we can consider it a sort of "hymn to himself".

And okay, maybe there is not much to offer, but it can still give us an insight about Roman - or, more precisely, about this Roman. About the Side he was before accepting Anxiety and the wedding/callback thing.

In my Roman's playlist analysis, I noticed the first songs were very focused on how he had expectations to follow and he had to follow them all. A perfect example is Holding Out for a Hero: Roman had to be strong and brave and always ready to fight, never a moment of weakness, greater and more awesome than anyone else.

All I Do Is Win reminds me a lot of Holding Out for a Hero: if the second song listed all great things Roman should do and what he must be to be the perfect hero for Thomas, the first one acts as an self-motivational song. He has to be a perfect hero, right? So he must believe he can do it, he is the coolest and the best and everyone loves him.

But we all know this is not Roman. Roman is not so overconfident, but he is actually very insecure. This makes this song part of the whole façade Roman put on. He must be great and awesome, so he tries to convince himself and the public he truly is, by choosing a song that overflows with confidence as much as possible.

Because no one will suspect anything, if he keeps acting as if he's the best.

---

ANXIETY: I’m Not Okay (I Promise)

​I already talked about this song when I analyzed Virgil's playlist (you can find the complete analysis HERE).

What I want to reaffirm here is the connection between this song, what we learned about Anxiety until now and the foreshadowing that is hinted here about his future.

First of all, the line "​You sing the words, but don’t know what it means"​, which connects beautifully to what Anxiety will say in this same episode, when he calls the ​Core Sides ​"​clueless morons​​". They think they know reality, but they know nothing. They are clueless.

And, just like they cannot understand reality, they cannot understand Virgil either. ("You said you read me like a book​/​But the pages are all torn and frayed now​"). They ​ think they know him, because they think he is just a bad guy. But he's not. And he is tired of being seen as such. Hence why he is not okay.

Also, if you remember his playlist, the following song was about him ducking out, so this one can be considered a huge foreshadowing of what will come.

---

MORALITY: I Am The Walrus

This song is... interesting.

Honestly, I didn't know what to expect. Patton's playlist has been very difficult for me to put into words, so I supposed this song wasn't easy either.

And it's not. It's very weird.

Let's start from the beginning: "I am the Walrus" is one of Beatles' songs, written by John Lennon and the title is based on a poem called "The Walrus and the Carpenter" which appears in Through the Looking-Glass.

The poem describes how a carpenter and a walrus gain the trust of a group of oysters, only to betray and eat them. In the book, Alice tries to determine which of the two is more sympathetic because was more sorry or ate less, but at the end she just says they are both unpleasant.

A ton of people gave a ton of different interpretations to this poem. Some said it was an allegory of religion, others that it was political.

My personal, very biased, very influenced by Sanders Sides interpretation is that these two are both liars and deceivers and oh wow, what a surprise, once again we have a connection between Patton and Janus. As if there weren't enough in his playlist.

And if we think about that, I would like to add what Lennon said about it:

"Later, I went back and looked at it and realized that the walrus was the bad guy in the story and the carpenter was the good guy. I thought, Oh, shit, I picked the wrong guy. I should have said, 'I am the carpenter.' But that wouldn't have been the same, would it?"

So the walrus is the bad guy. The walrus, the one Patton chose.

I know, it sounds so perfect. There is everything and I can write an endless post about this and the possible implications of Patton considering himself the bad guy and so on.

But do you want to know what the truth is? That this poem has no meaning. There is nothing hidden here. It's just a poem for children.

And believe it or not, but this is also the theme of the entire song.

You heard me right: I Am The Walrus does not have a meaning. John Lennon wrote it during two different acid trips and made this song, by picking a lot of references from everything around him and putting them together. So we have connections to other songs (Beatles' ones included) and references to random stuff like cornflakes or police sirens, nursery rhymes, a ton of writers, even theatrical pieces like King Lear.

I know what you're thinking: why? Why would he write this song? Well, there is a reason. The reason was a teacher from Quarry Bank High School in Liverpool, who made their student analyze the lyrics of Beatles' songs. And so, John Lennon decided to write the most nonsensical lyrics ever. I respect him for such a power move.

Okay, so now we know what this song is about. Now we can ask ourselves: why did Thomas Sanders choose this song for Morality?

Maybe he did it just for the joke: ahah everyone picks an emotion/mood but he picked something nonsensical, what a funny guy he is.

Maybe he did it to send a message to us: do not over-analyze everything. Not everything has been planned down to the smallest thing, some details are just coincidence. It makes sense, considering how much we like to overanalyze everything and how, sometimes, Mr. Sanders has to remind us that coincidences exist too.

But, maybe, there is another reason. Isn't it strange that all other songs are somehow related to the Side, but Morality's is just a message from Thomas to the public? What if this isn't a message from Thomas, but from Morality himself?

Do you remember how his playlist started? With Spongebob's campfire song. A nonsensical song that has nothing to do with anything else. A song that was a red herring and a way to discourage people to dig deeper. Why listen to other songs? Just listen to this one! There is nothing important if you keep going.

I Am The Walrus has the exact same vibes. Why should you dig more and over-analyze everything? There is nothing to see here! Just a happy, innocent, smiling Morality. Nothing to hide here, no issues, no sad feelings.

Maybe this is the reason why Morality picked this song. After all, he already tried to deceive the public once, why couldn't he do it again?

______________________

Just look at them being Youtubers

[Thomas]: If you all had your own YouTube channels, what would their content be? [Logan]: Videos analyzing the themes and pointing out inconsistencies in TV shows, movies, and comic books.

Logan confirms to be the best, because these are my favourite kind of videos. Especially the critical ones and especially if they are well made with irony and sarcasm. I could watch them for more hours than I already do.

[Princey]: Epic fail compilations! ...Of all the horrible deaths my enemies incur after I impale them.

So a channel with your brother, I see.

[Anxiety]: I would make a bunch of videos about conspiracies and cryptids.

So Virgil will be the next Wendigoon? Good taste, my boy. Good taste.

[Morality]: My channel would have videos of me playing with goo and mixing paint! [Logan]: Oh, autonomous sensory meridian response videos! [Morality]: Eh, I'm pretty sure it’s just me playing with goo and paint.

Okay, so he wants to make one of those videos without context that, in five years, will be shared everywhere, people will start making horrific theories and it will become an internet creepypasta? Good for him.

___________________

Anxiety is a nice bean (more or less)

This is definitely my favourite part. I just love Anxiety blasting everyone and the reactions are absolute perfection.

[Thomas]: Anxiety, can you say one nice thing about all of us? [Anxiety]: Oh, brother... Ok. [Anxiety]: Dad, you make Logic furious, and that is fun to watch... even though you're a clueless moron the rest of the time. [Morality]: Aw, ok.

I love how Patton's reaction is just "ok". He himself is the first to acknowledge that yeah, he is a clueless moron the rest of the time. He himself knows he acts silly. I am not crazy when I say this guy is much more mature than it seems.

I also like how Anxiety's compliment is "you are funny", because it's the exact same thing he will tell him during AA-part 2 ("You're a funny guy").

[Anxiety]: Logic, you understand reality better than the other two, and that is very comforting... but you are still a clueless moron most of the time. [Logan]: How dare you.

I love Logan’s reply. The expression, the voice, everything is wonderful and cracks me up every single time.

But also, let's consider Anxiety's words. First of all, he says Logan understands reality better than the other two Sides. He acknowledges that the logic Side has a more complete, mature vision of the world. And even if he tells him he is still a clueless moron, he specifies “most of the time”: that implies there are moments in which he is not, in which he is clever.

Basically, he made him the biggest compliment. He told him he is a mature guy and that it is very nice to have someone like him around, who is clever enough to understand how the world works.

[Anxiety]: Prince, I gotta say, you do impress me... by being a clueless moron ALL the time. [Princey]: Well that wasn't remotely nice.

Princey, my dear, you cannot pretend to not be considered a clueless moron, considering you are still deep into the black/white mentality and acting like a huge man-child :P

[Anxiety]: And Thomas... [Thomas]: Spare me the compliment.

How dare you, Mr. Sanders, to deprive us of Anxiety's insult? I couldn't wait to hear him say something like "you are just a moron, not even clueless".

In order to repent for this, I pretend an episode with just Thomas and the dark bois. Why? Because we need more beautiful insults. So what’s better than Virgil saying he’s an idiot, Remus calling him prude and Janus being his mother and complaining about everything Thomas does?

___________________

What a majestic troll

[Thomas]: What are all of your real names?! (...) [Thomas]: ...Well, that was thoroughly and utterly disappointing! Guess we'll all find out later.

Just look at this man. Just look at him clicking his tongue and winking. He is screaming "Yes, they all have names and I know them! And I (probably) already planned the season finale!".

He is a sassy bitch, I love him for that.

But also: if he already planned the Sides' names and the season finale... does that mean Mr. Sanders already planned the other Sides too? Because in AA part 2, Roman will say there are "others". So, in order to say that line, that means Thomas and Joan already had other Sides in mind.

Let's also consider what Thomas said at the end of the video:

[Thomas]: I hope this helped you get to know the different facets of my personality a little bit better! They are an eclectic bunch. And hopefully, we get to learn a little bit more about them in videos to come!

This heavily implies Thomas and Joan already had an idea of the following episodes, on what would happen, on the Sides that would come. Maybe they were still lacking a more defined outline, but AT LEAST they knew three more Sides were supposed to come.

And that means that, from now on, we will start to see little hints dropped here and there. Maybe they won't all be made on purpose, but they will start to appear.

And that means things will soon get very, very interesting.

_______________________________

​A haunting realization​

[Morality]: Aww, there's so much cool stuff they've done for us online, kiddos! [Princey]: Oh yeah? [Morality]: There's some really neato artwork of us all AND some writing as well! Say, what is a "ship"? [Logan]: Seriously, Morality, you don't know what that is? It is a craft designed for water travel. [Anxiety]: Even Prince knew that. [Princey]: Yeah, even I knew that. [Morality]: Oh, ok! It does not look like that, but ok.

​Morality canonically read fanfictions. This guy, with the face of a puppy and the naive innocence of a child. This guy who has no idea what "adultery" means. This guy who loves dogs more than anything else. This guy read fanfictions.

Just let this realization sink in. Just think of the last fanfictions you saw - yes, that BDSM one included (I know there is, they are everywhere). Just think that this man read it with his own two eyes.

Well, I will just leave you with this little terrifying awareness. Good luck trying to sleep now ~

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

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[plus-size-reader]

Curfew

Randy Meeks x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 3065 words

Warnings: none

Summary: The reader struggling when the curfew is put into place, but Randy has an idea that could make it a little better.

—————————————————————————————————

You were bored.

Woodsboro wasn’t a super happening place to begin with but now that the curfew was in place, it was even worse.

There was nothing to do, and with the additional stress that these recent murders had put on everyone, you were about to blow. The boys could see it, Tatum and Sidney could see it, and most important, Randy could see it.

It was only a matter of time before you absolutely lost it.

Your parents were taking this whole thing extra hard and basically had you on complete lockdown outside of attending school. They couldn’t imagine going through what Casey and Steve’s parents were going through right now, and they were scared.

Which was fair enough.

Everyone was scared right now, but you didn’t understand how putting you under house arrest was going to keep you any safer than you would be anywhere else. Casey was killed at home, after all?

If anything, you would be much safer in a group setting than you would be locked up in your house alone. Still, your parents had made themselves very clear where this topic was concerned. You were absolutely forbidden from attending Stu’s party, or any other party until the curfew was lifted.

It just made everything that much worse.

Parties, especially Stu’s parties, were one of the only things you were looking forward to as of late. Knowing that you couldn’t go to them was really starting to wear on you, and you were understandably let down by the whole thing.

...but it wasn’t just that.

Getting together with a big group of people, your age and ready to party, was an escape for you. With so much uncertainty going on and everything falling apart at the seams, you needed that normalcy to feel human again.

Not that you could really complain about that to anyone who could actually do something about it.

You knew that there was a very real danger out there and the only way to really be safe would be to stay inside your home where no one could get you but you just felt like your folks were taking it a little too seriously.

If everyone else was going to be out anyway, what different was it going to make, really? If anything, it made you a bigger target because you were one of the only people stuck in your house while everybody else was together.

To you, the logic was sound but to them, it was little more than a pathetic excuse to get out of the town’s mandated curfew.  

Which it kind of was, but you couldn’t help but feel like they were being unreasonable. You were a smart, responsible young woman and you weren’t going to take any stupid, unnecessary risks. You just wanted to maintain some level of normal life.

You were tired of being stuck at home like a rat in a cage, never allowed to go out and do anything. It was a stark contrast to how you normally were, with a thriving social life and active party presence.

It was almost as if you were dead too, not to be dramatic.

This was just hard on you, and they weren’t making it any easier. You had to rely on your friends, now more than ever, and they were basically cutting off any contact you had with them to lunch at school and quick phone conversations.

No one would have just taken that and been happy with it. Certainly not within your tight knit group of friends.

You sighed, fiddling with your pen as you tried to remember all the things you needed to get done when you got home. You knew well enough to know that if you didn’t write it down now, you would never remember it all.

With everything else on your mind, school seemed like the least of your worries.

You were so enthralled, in fact, tapping your pen away on the table that you didn’t even notice at first when Randy came up and sat down beside you, taking note of how unhappy you were about everything going on right now.

He couldn’t blame you.

The male at your side was perfectly aware of how excited you had been for the parties the recent nice weather was bound to bring, and equally as aware of how bummed you were that your parents had put a kibosh on the latest shindig before it even had a chance to begin.

“You okay?” he hummed, startling you just a bit when you looked up to see him already sitting at your side, but the racing in your chest calmed down just as quick. No one really knew who was responsible for all these terrible murders but you knew in your heart it wasn’t Randy.

You had known him all your life and even if he was a little strange, he was the sweetest guy in Woodsboro. He wasn’t some natural born killer or a sociopath on a killing spree.

“Honestly, if I have to think about this anymore, my brain might explode” you allowed, leaning slightly into his side to take some of the pressure off your aching, tight muscles as you kept focus on your schedule.

All this stress had to be bad for your body.

Tatum seemed to think so, at least, warning you that if you didn’t learn to decompress somehow you were going to go prematurely grey and get crows feet under your eyes. While you weren’t sure how much you trusted her endless cosmo knowledge, you certainly didn’t feel the greatest.

This was all just a lot for one person to juggle.

Randy could see that much.

He had been watching you all day, moping around that you wouldn’t be allowed to go to Stu’s party and worrying about a huge midterm you had to take for your english class that would physically make or break your grade.

You were spreading yourself way too thin. Luckily, he had an idea of just how he could help you feel a little bit better without breaking your parents' rules.

He just wasn’t so sure you’d go for it once you found out just what he had in mind.

“I was thinking, maybe you’d wanna come over to my place later? I have tonight off so we could watch a movie or something?” he offered, trying not to come across as painfully awkward as he felt. Randy was your friend, and usually could talk to you no problem but what he was proposing was different.

The two of you had never really hung out, just the two of you, before.

You nodded, not even looking up from your notebook as you scribbled something down in black ink, likely a reminder to do your calculus homework based on the way your brow knit together as you formed the letters.

You were preoccupied, too in your head to really consider what was going on but he certainly wasn’t.

Randy was aware of every little movement you made, from the way your nose scrunched up as you concentrated on making sure all the due dates and assignments were right on your calendar to the way your shoulder rested gently against his side.

“Who else did you invite? You know Tatum always complains about the movies you pick” you reminded, thinking over all the times the six of you had tried to watch movies together in the past. She got bored of psychological thrillers and grossed out at the gorey slashers.

She was much more of a Meg Ryan fan herself, constantly pulling for the cheesy romance flicks that made you want to ralph. You couldn’t put it past her to make Randy grab a couple of sappy videos too, just in case.

If she was going to be involved in movie night, you were sure you’d have to shoot down a few of those crappy comedies before you could watch anything worthwhile.

Randy sighed lightly, doing his best to keep you from noticing as he thought about what his next move was. Clearly, you’d missed the point of what he was asking entirely, not that he could blame you.

He had never really been good at asking out pretty girls, especially not ones he;d known since he was in elementary school, so this was new for him as well. He just sort of hoped that you would catch his drift early so he wouldn’t have to clarify out loud.

The last thing he wanted to do was put you on the spot and make you uncomfortable.

“Oh, I was actually hoping it could just be the two of us. I know it's no Stu Macher party but it could be fun” he shrugged, this time almost wishing a giant hole would open up from under him so that he didn’t have to have this conversation.

He wanted you to say yes, of course, more than anything but he just wasn’t sure if it was going to happen and if it wasn’t, he wanted to know early on.

At least then he could have some dignity in this whole thing.

You stopped writing for a second, letting the meaning of his words sink in as you sat there, your left leg bouncing up and down to try and keep up with the racing of your thoughts. It had been going nonstop since you sat down, but now, it was just resting against his.

Was Randy hitting on you?

Randy Meeks, your childhood best friend who had never once made a move on you aside from calling you pretty in your winter formal dress in middle school?

It didn't seem likely, but it was also hard to misinterpret his words. That was about as cut and dry as a date invite could be, and if it had been coming from anyone else, Tatum and Sid would have surely confirmed it for you if you asked.

Not that you could ask either of them right now.

“You wanna watch a movie tonight? Just you and me, at your house?” you clarified, setting your notebook down beside you without a second thought in favor of looking him in the eye.

He was uncertain for a second, trying to read any cues of how you were feeling about that from your own expression but found nothing there, so he nodded.

“Like a date?” you hummed, the words barely leaving your lips as you spoke them, feeling silly at having to clarify at all but you couldn’t help it. If he wasn’t meaning it in that way and you took it like that, you risked making an even bigger ass of yourself.

...but if he did, you needed to know that too.

There was a light blush on his freckled face as he considered his options before he nodded again, giving you all the information you needed. Randy was definitely hitting on you, now all you had to do was decide if you wanted to.

A movie could be fun.

You and Randy had watched a hundred movies together before, with you sometimes staying after hours at the video store while he closed to just see the ending of Frankenstein's bride that you loved so much.

Usually, there were more people there, Tatum and Stu at the very least, with Billy and Sid joining in when they saw fit, but it couldn’t be so different to just be the two of you.

You loved spending time with him, so doing so under the context of it being a date couldn’t possibly change that up so much. This was just Randy after all, it wasn’t like he was some guy you’d only just met or some creep Tatum thought it was okay to set you up with.

...and you were sure that your parents would agree to it.

Spending a few hours at Randy’s house was vastly different than going to some house party and out of all your friends, you knew that they trusted him the most. If he said you were there, they would believe him which would cut down on the third degree.

There really were no downsides.

Besides, if you were going to go out with any of your friends, it would be him, even if Billy or Stu did happen to be single. You and Randy just had a lot more in common and you knew that he would never put you in any danger.

You trusted him, and you liked him.

If he liked you too, it only made sense that you had a movie night together, just the two of you.

~

Getting your parents to agree to letting you spend a few hours at Randy’s house wasn’t as easy a sell as you thought it would be but by the time he came to pick you up, he managed to convince them that it would all be fine.

He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and in all honesty, they believed it.

Randy had never given them any reason not to trust him and at the end of the day, they came to the conclusion that you did have a little bit of a point. Knowing that you were somewhere with someone else made them feel a little bit better than if you were home alone.

It brought some amount of comfort to know that Randy would be there with you. Besides, your mother was just so thrilled that he’d finally asked you out on a date that you were sure she would have agreed to anything.

That was how you got here in the first place, walking down the familiar aisles of the video store with Randy as you searched for something to watch. Between the two of you, you had basically seen all the good horror films that they had available.

Not that knowing that was stopping either of you from picking up title after title, looking them over incredulously as you searched for the perfect thing.

Initially, Randy was just going to pick something up on the way to get you but decided that this would probably be more up your alley first. The video store was only open for a short time today due to the curfew but that was more than enough time for him to find exactly what he wanted.

After all, there wasn’t a title in the store that Randy didn’t know by heart. In fact, he had likely put them each right where they were, in each of their respective spots on the shelf. That was literally all he did all day when he did work.

“What about this one?” you suggested, holding up a pretty well loved copy of night of the living dead happily for his approval. It was a classic, one that you had each seen a dozen times, but because of that, it was quick to go into the basket.

Then, after scanning the few horror aisles one more time, Randy settled on what he always settled on and plucked a copy of Prom Night off the shelf.

At this point, you were sure he’d rented that specific video nineteen times by now but didn’t bother to point that out. You knew that it was one of his favorite movies of all time and if that was what he wanted to watch tonight, you weren’t going to argue.

All you really wanted to do was spend the night relaxing with your best friend, on what was technically also your first date. It was a little bit of pressure, more so than you were used to, but nothing that you couldn’t handle.

At the end of the day, you loved Randy and this was just something else you could do together.

“Alright, are you ready to go? I’ve got plenty of good snacks at the house for us to munch on too” he promised, fully aware of just how you liked your movie nights to go down. That was something else the two of you had in common.

You were very particular about your movies, especially horror movies.

It was something he could appreciate, along with your sense of humor and heart of gold. All in all, when Randy actually stopped to think about it, he wasn’t sure why he’d waited so long to ask you to do this in the first place.

This was going to be awesome.

~

Randy’s house was nice, of course, well put together every single time you had been there but you couldn't really focus too much on that.

Instead, you occupied yourself putting the tapes into the player while Randy made popcorn in the kitchen. It was kind of strange for a few moments, as you sat waiting for him to get back, looking around the living room under such new circumstances.

You have been here a hundred times before.

You had sat in this exact spot plenty of times but tonight, it was so different. You had only ever been here before as a friend, normally with all your other friends there to keep you company even when someone had to leave the room but not anymore.

Right now, you were waiting here as a girl on a date, a date with a guy you’d known your entire life.

It was just so strange how quickly everything had changed. Just this morning, you and Randy were little more than friends, and now, you couldn’t quite be sure what you were. Not that you had too much time to consider that before he was back.

“I bring gifts,” Randy grinned, plopping down beside you on the couch, swamping the coffee table with bags of chips and assorted boxes of candy before handing you the big bowl of popcorn. Clearly when he promised snacks, he wasn’t kidding.

You watched him do a onceover of the spread he’d provided before he ultimately decided that it was going to be fine.

“Perfect, just what we needed” you smiled, relaxing even further into the couch next to him, getting ready to start whatever it was that was going on between the two of you. It was new, uncharted territory for the both of you but it wasn’t looking too bad.

A copy of Prom Night and some popcorn with Randy was perhaps the only thing that could make this whole curfew thing worthwhile.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Walk Me Home

Summary: Jared is hosting a small dinner party and introduces his new co-star to his old one where they seem to hit it off...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Square: Quote B “Tell me what I can do to help”

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, small accident, mention of smut

A/N: Enjoy! Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo!

________

“Hey, sorry I was late,” said a guy ducking in through the front door. You turned your head from where you sat at the counter with Jared, the two of you talking with Gen while they cooked dinner. He smiled when he saw you and you watched the slightly curious look spread across his face. “Hi, I’m Jensen.”

“Y/N,” you said, shaking his hand as he stepped over. 

“Oh wow,” he said, looking past you to Jared. You raised an eyebrow and he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m...frazzled right now. You’re gonna be in Walker, right? Jared’s told me a little about you.”

“Yeah. I’ll be playing Kit, Walker’s kid sister,” you said. “Have some bourbon, relax a little.”

“Bourbon? I like her. She can hang out with us,” said Jensen as he walked around the island, getting a glass from the cabinet like he knew where everything was. “Kid sister huh? How many siblings Walker got anyways?”

“Well, I can’t spoil anything but just the two. Not that I’m getting sister of the year award,” you laughed. Gen was smiling as she worked over a pot and Jared excused himself to help her with something. Jensen used some of the orange peel you’d cut up and put it in his drink and took a long sip. “You like it? I can’t cook so I figured I’d bring some booze and dessert.”

“This is good,” he said. “Really good. I want some for myself. Also, did I hear dessert?”

“I made pull apart pumpkin cinnamon bread. It’s like a cinnamon roll but bigger,” you said.

“You and me are gonna get along great,” he chuckled. He moved around the island and stood on the end just to your right, looking you over quickly. “What have you been in? I’ve not heard of you before.”

“Not much. I did one commercial when I was twenty and I was an extra in a TV show about two years after that. I haven’t had my break through yet. Well, until now. This is...this is huge. I’m kind of terrified to be honest.”

“I worked with him for a very long time,” said Jensen, nodding to the far end of the kitchen. “It’s gonna be a good set, good environment. A few people from our old crew are gonna be working on Walker. You’re gonna fit right in no problem.”

“I hope so,” you said. “Jared’s really been great. He even answered all these questions I had about moving down here and areas and stuff when he didn’t have to. He and Gen have been really amazing. I think I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll be fine. He must like you,” he said.

“Oh I’m just...single and know zero people here,” you said. “I might get a dog? I think my apartment allows them.”

“Well now you know me too,” he smirked, taking a sip. “Or getting to know at the very least.”

“So what were you doing?” you asked. He cocked his head and you smiled. “Being late and all.”

“Who says I was late?” he said, smiling back. “Just frazzled. Also late but mostly frazzled.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Not your fault. My ex was claiming she left something at my house. I was oh so thrilled to see her and her husband there to pick it up,” he said.

“Oh. She moved on fast, huh?”

“She started to see him before we were quite done. He’s an idiot that thinks she’s amazing and he’s richer than me so she’s happy. That’s all she wanted. Wish I’d figured that out in the first place. Glad we never married though,” he said. He shrugged but he didn’t seem too upset by it. He finished off his drink and poured another. “Where are you staying?”

“I’m renting a house just north of the city in some suburb. Jared said there’s nothing to the east and the south ain’t great and I can’t afford west so, north it was,” you said.

“North’s not bad. Your commute shouldn’t be too bad. You got a driver or you taking yourself?”

“Myself. I’m not the star or anything.”

“It doesn’t have to do with that. You work a late night, call an uber. Hell call me. Better than getting in an accident,” he said. “By second season, you’ll be making enough to afford one.”

“Assuming I get on in the second season,” you said. You quickly shut your lips, Jared chuckling to himself.

“Jensen worked for the same company for a long time. Don’t worry about your non-disclosure agreement with him,” said Jared. “Y/N might get killed off at the end of the season. We’re not sure yet.”

“This may or may not have an impact on our friendship,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, come on, Jare. Look at that face. You really gonna kill her off?” said Jensen, turning you towards Jared. You saw Jensen pout and put on one of your own.

“I told you getting those two together would be a good thing,” said Gen. Jared rolled his eyes but bit his bottom lip.

“The powers at be haven’t made up their minds yet. I’d personally love it but storyline might get changed which I’m okay with. If fans love you, I’ll get my way,” said Jared. “You guys want to head out to the patio? We’re almost done cooking.”

“We can help,” you said, Jared shaking his head.

“We got it,” he said. You shrugged and followed Jensen out a back door to a covered patio area and took a seat at the table.

“He’s up to something,” chuckled Jensen. “Not sure what yet.”

“They’re just playing good host,” you said.

“Nah, those two are scheming. I can tell,” he teased. He took the seat beside you and leaned back in his chair.

“You check me out a lot,” you said. He quickly looked at his glass and made a small shrugging motion. “You like me?”

“I don’t know. I barely know you,” he said, still averting your gaze. 

“I didn’t mean to make you shy. I’m not opposed to you checking me out. I just wasn’t expecting it. I heard you were dating someone,” you said.

“Rumor. Put it out there so people would leave me alone,” he said. “I’m not shy around you either, you know.”

“Alright.”

“At first I am with most people. I mean, I can act like the life of the party and like the coolest guy in the room.”

“Act would be the key word there,” you said, taking a sip from your glass.

“Yeah well, most people put up some kind of front with strangers or people they don’t know that well.”

“Very true. I do it myself,” you said.

“So like I said, I ain’t shy.”

“Like I said, shy boy is attracted to me. When the confident boy that is really a shy boy is interested, laid back girl will become confident flirty girl very quickly if you understand,” you said.

“Are you saying you’re attracted to me?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Considering you’re attracted to me, I don’t see how this is a problem.”

“You are something else,” he said, some of his confidence returning.

“Yes I-” you said, Jared walking out with his phone to his ear. He looked worried and you both put your full attention on him.

“Shep just fell. He and Tom were jumping off the bunk bed and…” said Jared. “Looks like he might have broken his arm.”

“Is he okay?” you asked, Jensen echoing the sentiment. 

“Yeah. We just…”

“Tell me what I can do to help,” you said.

“Everybody relax,” said Jensen as he stood up. “You guys take Shep to get taken care of. Y/N and I will watch the other munchkins.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Dinner’s in the pot on the stove. Eat it up. No need to waste it.”

“Text us to let us know how it goes,” you said.

“Sure thing. I owe you guys one,” he said.

“No, you don’t. Go,” said Jensen. You both ducked back inside and five minutes later they were gone. Tom was feeling pretty bad about what happened but Jensen gave him a talk and put him to bed while you packed away some leftovers for Jared and Gen.

“How’s he doing?” you asked, sticking the tupperware in the fridge.

“He’ll be alright. Wasn’t his fault. They were just being kids,” he said. He helped you find the plates and you dished yourself up the rest of the food, eating at the kitchen counter quietly. “That was nice of you, to be so concerned.”

“They’ve been nothing but kind to me. Besides, it’s a kid,” you said. “I don’t mind staying.”

“You don’t have to. They’re both fast asleep. I can stay until they get back.”

“I said I’d stay. I’m gonna stay,” you said. He licked his lips and hummed, cleaning up his plate before you.

“Say you had a point earlier. I’m not saying you did but hypothetically speaking,” he said.

“Go on.”

“Say my frazzledness was because when I saw you, my head sort of short-circuited, hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically,” you said, finishing with your food.

“Say that happened and say you were good with that, happy about that...where exactly would this go seeing as I hypothetically have never been the hook up guy. Never actually done it but I’m now questioning it for the first time. Hypothetically, what’d your response to that be?”

“Well, if that were the case,” you said as you took your plate and put it in the dishwasher, “I would tell you not to hookup with me simply for the fact that sex for you is very likely part of being in a relationship and something you do when you feel comfortable with a person which I completely respect and understand. I wouldn’t want you to change how you treat sex just for me. Hypothetically.”

“But what if I said I’d never felt that kind of attraction to anyone before, at any stage in a relationship, not to that level. Not that floor you kind of overwhelming sensation.”

“I would tell you the attraction is reciprocated and while I would very much like to see what you are capable of and what we’re capable of doing together, I would tell you that you’re not the hookup guy and you’re not about to start being one. You should continue to have sex with your romantic partners and that’s all. It means more to you. A hookup will leave a sour taste in your mouth and I’d rather we don’t think of each other like that seeing as we’ll likely be spending more time together.”

“It’s not just physical you know. It’s that, it’s that logic and that kindness and compassion.”

“I get it. I would. I really, really would. But I’m breaking your record. I don’t want to be the girl that breaks that record, Jensen.”

“If we dated though, that’s different.”

“I don’t date to get sex.”

“Neither do I.”

“So you want to date?” you asked. He leaned back against the counter and smiled to himself. “It’s an easy question.”

“I wanted to date you the second I saw you but that comes off as a little strong,” he said. 

“I personally believe it’s important that people click when it comes to dating and relationships,” you said.

“So is there a click?” he asked. You walked in front of him and smiled, bringing your lips just an inch away from his. 

“There’s a click but there’s got to be something else,” you said, Jensen’s lips parting. “After my last failed relationship and it sounds like yours too, it’s important.”

“What’s that?” he asked quietly, not moving an inch.

“I want to be friends with my next boyfriend, someday when I find whoever I’m gonna be with. It’s always miserable when you’re not friends,” you said.

“Who says you didn’t just meet your best friend for the rest of your life tonight,” he said.

“Now that’s a strong statement,” you said.

“It is. I don’t like the sentiment though that there’s gonna be a somebody else after me. I’m not filling time with this,” he said.

“Neither am I,” you said.

“Good,” he said. He leaned in a hair closer and his lips tugged up into a grin. “I’m going to heat up that pumpkin roll you brought and then play video games while not kissing you. I’d be very happy if you joined in.”

“Tease,” you said. You took a step back and went to the container you brought. “Can you preheat the oven for me?”

“Sure thing,” he said. “It looks amazing.”

“It’s not the only thing,” you said, flashing him a wink.

“I see how it’s gonna go.”

“You started it,” you said.

“Yes, yes I did. Now how high do you need it?”

Four Hours Later

“Thanks again guys,” said Jared as you and Jensen stepped outside.

“It was no problem. We saved dinner and dessert for you guys in the fridge,” said Jensen. 

“I’ll make something for Shep and drop it by. He like chocolate?” you asked.

“Yeah, he loves it. You really don’t have-”

“Jared, like Jensen said, it’s all good. We’ll see you,” you said.

“Alright, alright,” he said. “Tell me when you two get together.”

“Already late on that one,” said Jensen with a smirk. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“You better. Night guys. And take her home like a gentleman,” said Jared.

“Yeah, yeah. Night,” said Jensen. Jared locked up and you wandered over to your car, Jensen smiling as he stood by his truck. “So I guess this is good night.”

“It could be a good night,” you said as you started to yawn. “Maybe tomorrow though.”

“Tomorrow maybe,” he smirked. “Text me when you get home.”

“Why?”

“Cause I worry about my friends,” he said. “Please?”

“Alright. So...tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow night,” he said. “Maybe I can cook you dinner. Bring a bathing suit, we could go for a dip in the pool maybe.”

“Maybe,” you smirked back. “I’ll see you tomorrow Jensen.”

“You too. Oh and Y/N? Might want to sleep in tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I got a feeling you’re gonna be up late tomorrow night,” he said, winking at you.

“Oh really? We’ll have to see how a good a cook you are first.”

“I guess we will. Drive safe, Y/N,” he said, voice soft and sweet.

“You too, Jensen. You too.”

_______

[salcreus]

*SHAKES YOU* what’s that AU please talk more‼️‼️

I'm sorry in advance to you and the other people that went to ask in hopes that I actually produce something of quality hgdnfg So 💃The overgreat AU (which is the name that I have going on right now, I might change it but it's just an awful pun for now that only makes sense to me and me alone) Is basically "What if I took whatever Mumbo has going on right now, but I made it everybody's problem". Mostly because I am biased about characters going fucked up and evil through corruption side effects of their world. There are already a couple of fanart pieces under the overgreat au tag if anyone wants out of context content <3

The premise is that, during Season 5, when the NHO entered a temple in their first episodes, they accidentally released a type of weird plant based parasite, slash curse slash being into the world, whose objective was to go from host to host, until it was able to be on top of the food chain. What is the “top”? That’s to be defined later, if I ever do end up writing or drawing this.

Also when I speak of It (It purposefully does not have a name, I promise for a good reason) as a parasite, or plant, etc, It can cause effects or grow things that do fit the definitions, but It’s something intangible, odorless, etc. It’s not *actually* a parasite, nor a plant, yada yada, It just Is. It’s It. The Thing, if you will. Bug mentions that people do not need to know about but I’m including it out of curiosity: (It has some design/characteristics based on the Leucochloridium paradoxum, which is a parasite that affects snails, in a gross way that I won't explain here nor do I suggest googling it if you don't like bugs, but the little guy does it to call attention and take advantage of the bigger hunter, birds, to- do whatever it does and multiply. Rinse and repeat) Point is, that very same “Curse” uses one’s ambitions and wishes against them, twisting whatever their desire is, to better fit the needs of this being, making people that would otherwise be completely rational and wonderful functioning members of society into thinking and doing… Weirder, more questionable stuff. Think of it as a cocktail of impulsive thoughts but you actually go through with them. It does have more side effects and it does have logic drowned into it, but again, I won’t explain now just in case I DO end up writing something with this. It affected several of the Hermitcraft seasons, from the Bdubs’ Vine situation during season 5, to the Mycelium resistance in s7, and now some of the people during season 8, jumping from person to person as It sees fit (or, at least, if it’s strong enough to actually do something. Think of it as cross riding the player’s data) but it lingered on this edge of being strong enough to change someone’s personality and behaviour, without being fully able to take over onto bigger prey, thus laying in this limbo of no one being aware that these events were interconnected, and by what, even though they were all pretty worrisome scenarios. Like yes, this thing sure just happened, but the blame was always placed upon another external factor. However, what changed this season, is that it’s host, the “Infected” person, is a) Not that strong, both in a physical and mental sense (sorry Mumbo, sweetie, but your Minecraft persona looks like a Don’t Starve character fused with a toothpick) and b) already had an ambitious goal going on, which was to make sure not to murder anything. Like, don’t get me wrong, as much as I take advantage of the fact that Mumbo this season is anything but eco friendly, he still was extremely “nice and pure” at the start of the season, and that is to be commended. So- Why not take advantage of this person that doesn’t show much resistance to your influence, but also someone that already has an affinity to plants, which is your domain, but ALSO has a goal that he’s dead set on fulfilling. It’s peachy and nice. And that- Is the resume of the “backstory” of this hngdfngdfg. As resumed as I can make it, at least, which is mostly the boring “this is why x is x and why y is y”. The idea would be to go onwards from that basic idea into exploring and explaining each detail of S8, and how It affects the hermits, from Impulse’s love for amethyst, into Zedaph’s Lab experiments, or whatever the Gem has cooking in her gardens. (Which trust me, that's a whole thing in itself) Which is hilarious because I do have all of these plot points that are actually important and interesting, but I can't say any of them without giving this introduction, or because they would spoil the resolution/major plot points that I don't want to fully explain just yet. But hgndfg yeah!! premises!! backstory!! cool!!! Will I ever actually write this??? Who knows!! I sure don't!!!

[rivalsforlife]

The AAI Cast Takes On Twitter

Hello! For the release of ace attorney investigations 2 ten years ago, on the official AA twitter account, Capcom posted a bunch of tweets that were made to sound like they came from the characters themselves. You can still find them if you dig far enough, but it’s a bit of a pain to find and especially a pain to understand in English, so I decided to compile them all here and attempt to translate them. (They have also been “localized” in true ace attorney fashion.)

First, a disclaimer: I am absolutely NOT a translator and my understanding of Japanese is abysmal. I put the original tweets through google translate and then went through trying to make them legible, including looking up words and phrases when they didn’t make any sense. As a result, I can’t guarantee that this is completely accurate, and I definitely messed with phrasing a bit to get things to flow better or sound more in character. Hopefully the general gist of things should make sense! I’ll put the original Japanese text below the English one, and if you actually know Japanese and would like to properly translate it, please do so! I just wanted to get this out here as fast as possible.

If you want to view the original tweets, I’ve filtered them (mostly!) here in reverse-chronological order. There are tweets from the game staff at the end that I did not “translate”.

With that said, here are the tweets. (It is long, so most of it is under the cut.) The breaks are things I added that I believe were breaks in time on the actual account, and represent new scenes.

-----

<Edgeworth>: I was told to “tweet” what I usually think about to commemorate the release of “Ace Attorney Investigations 2”... What should I do?

<Kay>: Come on, Mr. Edgeworth! First, you need to introduce yourself!

<Edgeworth>: Oh. Sorry for the late introduction. My name is Miles Edgeworth, a prosecutor at the District Attorney's Office. Kay informed me that this is “Tweeter”. 

<Kay>: No! It’s pronounced "Twitter"!

<Edgeworth>: Is it "Tweeter"? I'm not very good at this kind of thing ...

<Kay>: Okay, moving on. Ace Attorney Investigations 2 is about to be released, and Mr. Edgeworth has a lot to say, right?

<Edgeworth>: Mm. Certainly, there are few opportunities like this, so this should be a valuable experience.

<Kay>: Then this Great Thief, Kay Faraday, will teach Mr. Edgeworth the fun of tweeting!

<Edgeworth>: I’m not very interested in that… but alright. More importantly, Kay, do you want to start working soon?

<Kay>: Yes! Then, we can play later!

<Edgeworth>: (Well, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to tweet.)

<Kay>: Mr. Edgeworth ... Your inner voice is in the tweet! Isn't that neat?

<Edgeworth>: Ah! Tweeter… I shouldn’t underestimate it. 

-----

<Edgeworth>: It's already 12 o'clock ... I wanted to take a break for lunch, but it seems that I won’t get the chance. The detective just reported a new case. I'm heading to the scene right now.

<Edgeworth>: Detective Gumshoe seems to have been in a hurry. He said he “lost something important”... It’s probably not something to worry about. I should concentrate on the investigation first. It takes a careful investigation to find out the truth hidden in the scene. There are many things that cannot be understood from desk work alone.

<Edgeworth>: I've arrived at the scene. Mm? It seems that some pencils have fallen near the victim.

<Edgeworth>: Search for the connection between information. That is the pursuit of "Logic". Assembling "Logic" is the key to the investigation even in Ace Attorney Investigations 2. “Something lost by Detective Gumshoe” and the “pencil left on the scene” ... There is one answer that can be derived from the two pieces of information.

<Edgeworth>: Detective Gumshoe! It seems that we found your lost pencil. ‥‥ Don’t leave extra evidence on the scene!

<Edgeworth>: Hmm ... Finally, the truth of the scene has come into view. This case will likely be resolved soon.

-----

<Kay>: Good evening! I came to play as promised!

<Gumshoe>: Welcome, Kay!

<Kay>: Huh? Gummy, are you also on Twitter?

<Gumshoe>: It’s popular among my detective friends. As long as my number of followers keeps increasing, I’m happy!

<Edgeworth>: What is a "follower"?

<Gumshoe>: Well, people who read your tweets. To put it simply, it’s like a friend group.

<Kay>: It seems that there are many people who are watching this tweet! Ehehe. That makes me kind of happy!

<Edgeworth>: Hmm. Friend group...? That sounds a little embarrassing, but thank you, followers.

<Kay>: Hmm. I feel that followers and friends are a little different. Well, as long as he’s happy.

<Edgeworth>: Let’s say that tomorrow we’ll spend more time with our followers on Tweeter.

-----

<Gumshoe>: I've been waiting for you, Prosecutor Edgeworth!

<Edgeworth>: Mm. Good morning Detective Gumshoe. It's rare for you to get to court earlier than me.

<Gumshoe>: That’s because I have to set a good example for my followers! I skipped dinner last night so I wouldn't be late.

<Edgeworth>: What does skipping dinner have to do with getting up early?

<Gumshoe>: Well, it sets a “belly clock”, so you wake up at breakfast time!

<Edgeworth>: (There are too many problems with that, and I don't feel like pointing them all out... I’ll just stay silent.)

<Gumshoe>: Mr. Edgeworth ... We can see the tweets of your inner voice, you know…?

<Edgeworth>: It's about time for the court to open. I'm heading into court without any uncertainty today.

-----

<Kay>: Hello everybody! I'm Kay Faraday, also known as the Great Thief Yatagarasu. Fufufu ... I’m actually in the gallery right now! I wanted to see Mr. Edgeworth and Gummy in court, and keep an eye on the enemy!

<Kay>: Oh! Mr. Edgeworth screamed, “Objection!” This is the 5th time today. The other lawyer is sweating now. The judge’s gavel is getting fierce! Eh -- what? “You can’t tweet in the courtroom…?” Hey!

<Kay>: Uh ... I was kicked out of the courtroom. As expected by the new rival of Ace Attorney Investigations 2, Justine Courtney! She seems like a kind judge, but also very observant.

<Kay>: This is an unexpectedly strong enemy! Mr. Edgeworth, are you okay ...?

<Edgeworth>: Kay. What were you doing in the gallery today?

<Gumshoe>: I was surprised to see Kay being kicked out of court!

<Kay>: I didn't think that tweeting was prohibited. As a Great Thief, this is the ultimate mistake!

<Edgeworth>: If you have time to regret breaking the rules of the court, use it to learn a little more about them.

<Kay>: If I had to leave the court anyways, I wanted to have a cooler exit, befitting of a Great Thief!

<Gumshoe>: … I don’t think she regretted breaking the rules. 

<Kay>: Anyway! You’ve already finished your work today, right?

<Edgeworth>: Yes, I finished my work in the courtroom today. It looks like we can have a nice holiday.

<Kay>: So, why don’t the three of us go play together! Bowling, karaoke, game centers, etc.!

<Edgeworth>: No ... I'm not very good at such things.

<Gumshoe>: Since it’s Friday night, why don’t we play around and recover from working hard! I think watching movies would be fun!

<Kay>: Yeah, you worked so hard this week! Now, let’s go play!

<Edgeworth>: *sigh*. Whatever I say, it’ll be a waste of time… If we must, at least make it a movie.

-----

<Gumshoe>: This Saturday morning is a nice time for a walk! I sometimes take a walk with Missile to build strength and give him training. As the “partner” of Prosecutor Edgeworth, I want to be useful in Ace Attorney Investigations 2!

<Gumshoe>: When investigating with a metal detector or collaborating with Missile, I will be second to none! Hey, Missile! Hmm? Is a scent bothering you? Aaaaa! Mi-Missile has run away! He must’ve smelled food.

<Gumshoe>: When this happens, I have to rely on the odor to chase after it! This is part of the investigation process! Uh… I lost him right away. When this happens, I have to prepare sweets that Missile likes to lure him in! …  I’m so overwhelmed.

<Kay>: It’s a shame to keep Missile as a police dog. He stole away Samurai Dogs from this Great Thief and ate them…! I was trying to eat with Ema.

<Gumshoe>: Sorry about that, pal. By the way, what were you doing together? Collecting fallen leaves…?

<Ema>: We’re grilling Samurai Dogs on this fire we made from scientific chemicals!

<Gumshoe>: Huh. Scientific chemicals, pal…? Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Missile! Do you feel alright?

<Kay>: It’s fine! He ate it before we started the fire.

<Gumshoe>: Oh. I wish I got to have some...

<Edgeworth>: It’s not good to use chemicals to play with fire, Ema. Scientific research is important, but please use moderation.

<Ema>: Yes! Moderation! By the way, are you going somewhere?

<Edgeworth>: Yes. I have some business. ... I don't have much time, so excuse me.

<Kay>: ... Mr. Edgeworth, where are you going?

<Ema>: Fufufu. In this case, we can follow his footsteps! Using the power of science… in moderation!

<Kay>: Alright! Let's follow him… in moderation!

<Gumshoe>: They both have a strange definition of “moderation”...

-----

<Kay>: That overwhelming scale! I think I’m going to cry! That’s a first for an orchestra concert!

<Ema>: The powerful sound of brass instruments and the splendid melody of woodwind instruments! Scientifically speaking, changing between different sounds is what makes music good.

<Edgeworth>: Umm. While I was looking forward to today, I didn't expect you two to follow me.

<Kay>: I wanted to bring Gummy as well, but he had to walk Missile, so he couldn’t come with us.

<Edgeworth>: The detective can still hear the “Ace Attorney Investigations 2 Orchestra Arrangement Collection” CD. You can pre-order one at E-Capcom.

<Ema>: I already pre-ordered it, of course! I’ll also get the 1:10 figure of Mr. Edgeworth!

<Edgeworth>: A 1:10 figure of myself? I don't remember measuring my height, but ...

<Kay>: That's because I stole Mr. Edgeworth's height perfectly!

<Edgeworth>: I'm a little hesitant to say it in the orchestra hall, but let me just say one word.

<Kay>: "Objection!"

<Edgeworth>: Wha…? How did you --!

<Ema>: This must be the famous technique of the Great Thief, stealing the words right out of his mouth! How informative!

-----

<Edgeworth>: I have no plans today, so I will spend my time reading at a nearby coffee shop. Naturally, I want to relax on Sundays.

<Edgeworth>: I’m drinking high-quality black tea in a comfortable sunny place. Today is going to be a good day off.

<Edgeworth>: Speaking of which, the other day, a follower named “Wendy” greeted me here on Tweeter. I don’t know how to return messages, so I haven’t done so yet. Let me thank you here. Ms. Wendy, thank you for following me.

<Oldbag>: E… Edgey-pooooooo! I finally found youuuuuuu!

<Edgeworth>: Gah! What are you doing in this coffee shop ...!?

<Oldbag>: No way, Edgey-poo! Just now, didn’t you say this on Twitter? Didn’t you just say “Ms. Wendy, thank you”? You made this old lady so happy! I just ran around all the coffee shops and searched for you everywhere, Edgey-poo. The power of lo

<Edgeworth>: Do you talk too much to fit on Tweeter? So, “Wendy” was you! No matter how many coffee shops you visit, there’s no way you found me so easily… Are you hiding something?

<Oldbag>: If you say that without evidence, you’d tarnish the title of “prosecutor!” I have nothing to hide from my dearest Edgey-poo!

<Edgeworth>: Hmm… Even without evidence, if I read your reactions and feelings, I can expose the truth while only using my words.

<Oldbag>: Oh, I heard about this, Edgey-poo! Isn’t it called “Logic Chess”? I know everything about you, Edgey-poo!

<Edgeworth>: What do you mean by “I know everything?”

<Oldbag>: You see, it’s because I’m a security guard. Recently, because the whippersnapper who was there before me got fired, I was temporarily guarding the prosecutor’s office. At that time, I just so happened to see your address, Edgey-poo.

<Edgeworth>: …………… I didn’t even need to pull out information, and you’re already telling me the answer!

<Oldbag>: Oh. It was a slip of the tongue. I thought I would get to see Logic chess.

<Edgeworth>: Well, could you see it in Ace Attorney Investigations 2? Please excuse me, I have very important business to attend to.

<Oldbag>: You mentioned that you have no business today! Today, I will never let you go!

-----

<Edgeworth>: Ngh… That was quite the disaster today.

<Edgeworth>: I was too careful just because it was a holiday. I was neglecting my remarks and wasn’t vigilant of those around me ...

<Edgeworth>: Mm? Now “Tweeter” is showing something from “Wendy”. … “Sorry. - Wendy.” … I’m not going to respond to that!

-----

<Gumshoe>: Prosecutor Edgeworth, did you hear? Agent Lang is coming from the Republic of Zheng Fa!

<Edgeworth>: Hm. Is he also involved in an international case? I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to him for long the last time. If I have time, I’ll go greet him.

<Gumshoe>: The last incident was a difficult one. I couldn’t talk much with Agent Lang’s subordinates, either.

<Gumshoe>: There are 100 people who know about it.

<Edgeworth>: If you tried to talk to everyone, the sun would set before you did.

<Gumshoe>: To be honest, I gave up trying to remember my own face and name.

<Edgeworth>: That’s just being lazy!

-----

<Lang>: Yo, Mr. Prosecutor. It's strange to see you in a place like this.

<Edgeworth>: It's been a long time, Agent Lang. I never thought we would meet again at a restaurant like this.

<Lang>: I just happened to see this place while I was looking for somewhere I could go alone.

<Edgeworth>: Alone ...? That’s unusual for you. Aren’t you usually with your subordinates?

<Lang>: Well… Lang Zi says: “To know the feelings of a lone wolf, you should leave the pack.” Sometimes I do things on my own.

<Edgeworth>: Is that so? However, I see a contradiction right there on your table.

<Lang>: Hah! Is that the prosecutor’s famous “deduction”?

<Edgeworth>: For someone eating alone, you ordered a lot of “platters”, which seem to serve over twenty people.

<Lang>: Arooooooo! ‥‥Oops. It seems I have a habit of ordering too much. If you don’t mind, Mr. Prosecutor, would you take a little?

<Edgeworth>: It seems that you’re not very good at acting alone.

-----

<Kay>: Eh? Agent Lang’s coming here again?

<Edgeworth>: Ah, yes. Unlike before, though, it seems like he’s acting alone for some reason.

<Kay>: Isn’t that because it’s difficult to sneak around with too many people? It’s an important rule for a Great Thief!

<Edgeworth>: He is an “international investigator”, not a “Great Thief”. … Anyway, he seemed to come to this country for some purpose.

<Kay>: Then, we might meet him again at a crime scene.

<Edgeworth>: Even if we both desire to pursue the truth, our paths often run counter to each other. If I meet him in the field, we may argue.

<Kay>: That’s nice. I also want a rival that will change me as a person! Ahh… I wonder if they’re out there… the rival who wants to hunt down the Great Thief!

<Edgeworth>: If you want to be arrested so badly, ask Detective Gumshoe.

<Kay>: Ugh! You just don’t get it!

-----

<Kay>: It's finally February!

<Edgeworth>: Oh. So it is...

<Gumshoe>: I'm looking forward to February 3rd!

<Gumshoe>: At our police station, we will sow beans for the bean-throwing festival! February 3rd is a precious day when you can eat soybeans for free!

<Kay>: Every year, I challenge myself with how many beans I can throw! “Out with the demons, in with the fortune, and in with the Great Thief’s treasure!”

<Edgeworth>: Did you forget the most important thing?

<Kay>: I was just kidding! Of course I remember what’s happening February 3rd!

<Gumshoe>: There is no reason to forget the release date of Ace Attorney Investigations 2!

<Edgeworth>: Mm ... I hope.

-----

<Edgeworth>: It’s three days before the game goes on sale. I hope the followers look forward to it as well.

<Edgeworth>: Investigating in winter is necessary, even if it’s cold, and you can’t catch a cold before the game goes on sale. Ergo, please take proper measures against the cold.

<Edgeworth>: Speaking of which, Detective Gumshoe wears the same coat all year round. Doesn’t that get cold? Ah… maybe it’s just that his salary is too low to buy anything else.

<Edgeworth>: ……… Should I invite Detective Gumshoe for dinner? What little I know about his eating habits worries me. I don’t think he’d eat instant noodles in winter… 

<Edgeworth>: There is a handmade udon restaurant near the prosecutor's office. The taste is satisfying for a reasonable price. ‥‥‥‥‥‥ Though, when it comes to inviting Detective Gumshoe, I shouldn’t limit myself to just noodles.

<Edgeworth>: Mm. I tweeted that it was only 3 days before the game’s release, but it was 2 days. I worked all night in the office yesterday. It seems my sense of time has gone haywire.

<Edgeworth>: What I tweeted then was contradictory… Pardon me. Thank you, followers who pointed that out.

---

<Gumshoe>: This pork roast is delicious! This is my first one of the year!

<Edgeworth>: Detective Gumshoe. Stop eating while tweeting!

<Gumshoe>: I've been eating only plain pasta this year. I couldn’t help myself!

<Kay>: I could, but I still tweeted!

<Edgeworth>: It may not be instant ramen, but his eating habits are always in crisis.

<Gumshoe>: Ugh... every time I make a mistake while investigating, the cost of living becomes a crisis.

<Kay>: But the one who is in the most danger right now is Mr. Edgeworth, isn't it? I saw it in a commercial! He’s having his “biggest crisis!”

<Gumshoe>: I heard it too ... What kind of mistake did you make, sir?

<Edgeworth>: Don’t compare me to you! I don’t know what it is, but I’m not afraid of any crisis. No matter what happens, I simply do what I think is right.

<Kay>: As expected of Mr. Edgeworth! Well, you can always count on this Great Thief to help you in an emergency!

<Gumshoe>: Of course, I will help too! If you want to manage your living expenses in a crisis, sir, just leave it to me!

<Edgeworth>: First, could you try helping me as a detective?

-----

<Kay>: By the way, Mr. Edgeworth, what kind of person is your father?

<Edgeworth>: … Why would you suddenly ask such a question?

<Kay>: I just asked Mr. Shields. He said your father was a very good person! I also respect my dad, so I was a little curious about yours.

<Edgeworth>: When I was a child, he was someone I highly respected, and… the kind of man I aspired to be.

<Kay>: Huh? Is it different now?

<Edgeworth>: ……… About that… It’s difficult to explain. If you want to know the answer, please wait until tomorrow.

<Kay>: I see! The answer is hidden in Ace Attorney Investigations 2. I’ll be sure to steal the truth about Mr. Edgeworth!

-----

<Kay>: Gummy! Please decorate it from the right side!

<Gumshoe>: Here it is! Oh no, the decoration fell!

<Edgeworth>: What are you doing in my office in the middle of my workday?

<Gumshoe>: I’m off duty, but since today’s the eve of the release date, I’m preparing a party!

<Kay>: It's almost time to tweet! Mr. Edgeworth, please work and just ignore us!

<Edgeworth>: If you truly want that, then please stop climbing on my desk. … I’ll finish work soon, so please wait until then. 

<Kay>: Eh! Are you going to help us?

<Edgeworth>: I would like to celebrate.

<Gumshoe>: That’s helpful, sir! Then, I’ll be sitting on the sofa and waiting until it’s time!

<Edgeworth>: ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ Just wait in the corridor.

-----

<Gumshoe>: Cheers for the release of Ace Attorney Investigations 2!

<Edgeworth>: Hmm ... This party for the eve of the release is rather nice.

<Kay>: Ehehe. Tomorrow, we’ll give it our all!

<Edgeworth>: Umm. Thank you very much.

<Kay>: This is the last of our tweets ... It's a little regrettable.

<Edgeworth>: But I’m glad I had this opportunity to directly express my gratitude for the week. Those who were watching our tweets… let me thank you again.

<Gumshoe>: I still have something to talk about, but we’re already out of time!

<Kay>: But the eve of the release has only just begun! After this, you can talk to the development staff of “Ace Attorney Investigations 2” directly!

<Gumshoe>: Oh! Is that the plan?

<Kay>: I’m certain, because it’s information I stole from Capcom! It seems like it will start around 18:00!

<Edgeworth>: I do have a lot to ask, but let's leave that to the followers. Well then, excuse us for now.

<Edgeworth>: If you have any questions for the development staff, please quickly send them in!

------

Translation notes first:

The localized foods are as follows: 

dorayaki -> Samurai Dogs (since Missile also has a habit of eating those, though I don’t believe the original was dorayaki?)

somen -> instant ramen

katsudon -> pork roast

shirataki -> plain pasta

The “bean-throwing festival” is Setsubun, a festival where you toss soybeans and eat some in order to toss out bad luck and bring in good luck (to my understanding, please correct me if I’m wrong). What Kay said (minus the Great Thief part) is one translation of  a phrase you shout while throwing the beans. I obviously gave up on trying to localize this.

------

Original Japanese (minus breaks):

〈ミツルギ〉：『逆転検事２　発売直前記念』として、私が日頃思っていることを“つぶやく”ように言われたのだが‥‥どうすればいいのだろうか？

〈ミクモ〉：ダメですよミツルギさん！まずは自己紹介からしないと！

〈ミツルギ〉：ム。紹介が遅れてすまない。私の名前は御剣怜侍、地方検事局で検事をしている。ミクモくんに教えてもらったのだが、これが“ついたー”というものなのだな。

〈ミクモ〉：違いますよ！“ツイッター”ですってば！

〈ミツルギ〉：“ついったー”か。こういったアレは、あまり得意ではないのだが‥‥。

〈ミクモ〉：まあまあ。逆転検事２も発売間近ですし、ミツルギさんも言いたいこといっぱいあるでしょ？

〈ミツルギ〉：ム。確かにこういった機会は少ないから貴重ではあるな。

〈ミクモ〉：それじゃ、この大ドロボウ・一条美雲ちゃんが、つぶやく面白さをミツルギさんに教えちゃいますよー！

〈ミツルギ〉：そちらはあまり興味がないが‥‥まあいいだろう。それよりミクモくん。そろそろ仕事を始めたいのだが？

〈ミクモ〉：はーい！　それじゃ、また後で遊びに来ますね！

〈ミツルギ〉：（まあ、気になったことがあれば気軽につぶやくとするか）

〈ミクモ〉：ミツルギさん‥‥。心の声がつぶやきに出てますよ！興味津々じゃないですか！

〈ミツルギ〉：なッ！ついったー‥‥あなどれんな。

〈ミツルギ〉：もう１２時か‥‥優雅にランチといきたいところだが、そうもいかないようだ。先ほど刑事から新たな事件の報告が入ったのでな。いま、現場に向かっているところだ。

〈ミツルギ〉：イトノコギリ刑事は、“大事な物をなくした”と慌てていたようだが‥‥どうせたいした物ではないだろう。いまは捜査に集中するべきだ。現場に隠された真実を知るには、入念な捜査を必要とする。デスクワークだけでは分からないことも多いのだ。

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥現場に到着だ��ム？被害者の近くに“えんぴつ”が落ちているようだな。

〈ミツルギ〉：情報同士の共通点を探す。それこそが《ロジック》を追うということだ。逆転検事２でも《ロジック》を組み立てることが捜査の重要なカギを握っている。現場に残された“えんぴつ”と“イトノコギリ刑事がなくした物”‥‥２つの情報から導き出せる答えは１つ。

〈ミツルギ〉：イトノコギリ刑事！キミが無くしたというえんぴつが見つかったようだ。‥‥現場に余計な証拠品を残さないように。

〈ミツルギ〉：ふむ‥‥‥‥ようやく現場の真実が見えてきた。この事件は早急に解決できそうだ。

〈ミクモ〉：こんばんわ！約束通り遊びにきましたよ！

〈イトノコ〉：いらっしゃいッス！ミクモちゃん！ 

〈ミクモ〉：あれ？ノコちゃんもツイッターやってるんだ？

〈イトノコ〉：刑事仲間の間でも流行ってるッスよ。フォロワーもどんどん増えて、うれしい限りッス！

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥“フォロワー”とは何なのだろうか？ 

〈イトノコ〉：えーと。自分のつぶやきを読んでくれる人たちのことッス。簡単に説明すると“トモダチの輪”って感じッスかねえ。

〈ミクモ〉：このつぶやきを見てくれている人たちも、たくさんいるみたいですよ！えへへ。なんだかうれしいですね！

〈ミツルギ〉：ふむ。トモダチの輪‥‥か。少々恥ずかしくもあるが、ありがたいことだな。

〈ミクモ〉：うーん。フォロワーとトモダチとはちょっと違うような気もしますケド‥‥。ま。喜んでいるみたいなのでいいや！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：明日も“ついったー”で、フォロワーに恥じぬ時間を過ごすとしよう。

〈イトノコ〉：お待ちしてたッスよ！御剣検事！

〈ミツルギ〉：ム。おはようイトノコギリ刑事。私よりはやく裁判所に着くとはめずらしいな。

〈イトノコ〉：フォロワーのみんなに、カッコ悪いとこを見せられないッスからね！遅刻しないように、昨夜は夕飯を抜いておいたッスよ。

〈ミツルギ〉：夕飯を抜くのと早起きをするのに、何の関係があるというのだ。

〈イトノコ〉：すさまじい“腹時計”で、朝ご飯の時間に目覚めることが出来るッス！

〈ミツルギ〉：（問題が多すぎて、指摘する気にもなれん。‥‥ここはあえて黙っているとしよう）

〈イトノコ〉：御剣検事‥‥。心の声のつぶやきが自分にも見えるの、分かってやってるッスよね‥‥？ 

〈ミツルギ〉：そろそろ開廷の時間だ。余計なセンサクをしていないで、法廷に向かうぞ。

〈ミクモ〉：みなさんこんにちは！大ドロボウ・ヤタガラスこと一条美雲です。ふっふっふ‥‥実はいま、傍聴席にいるんですよ！敵情視察も兼ねて、ミツルギさんとノコちゃんの法廷姿を見ておこうと思って！ 

〈ミクモ〉：あ！ミツルギさんがまた『異議あり！』って叫んでる！今日はこれで５回目ですねー。相手の弁護士さんも汗だらだら流してますよ。裁判官の木槌も激しくなってます！えーとなになに？“法廷内でのつぶやきは却下しま‥‥す？”え。ちょ、ちょっと！ 

〈ミクモ〉：ううう‥‥‥‥法廷内から追い出されちゃいました。さすがは逆転検事２の新ライバル“水鏡　秤”さん！優しそうな裁判官だと思ってユダンしていました。

〈ミクモ〉：これは思わぬ強敵ですよ！ミツルギさん、大丈夫かなあ‥‥？ 

〈ミツルギ〉：ミクモくん。今日は一体傍聴席で何をしていたのだ。

〈イトノコ〉：法廷から追い出されるミクモちゃんを見て、ビックリしたッスよ！

〈ミクモ〉：まさかつぶやきが禁止とは思いませんでした‥‥。大ドロボウとして、一生の不覚です！

〈ミツルギ〉：後悔するヒマがあるのなら、法廷のルールにつ��てもう少し学んでおきたまえ。

〈ミクモ〉：どうせ退廷させられるのなら、も��とカッコ良く立ち去りたかったです！大ドロボウとしては！ 

〈イトノコ〉：‥‥そっちで後悔しているとは思わなかったッス。

〈ミクモ〉：それはともかく！　今日はもうお仕事終わりなんですよね？

〈ミツルギ〉：今日の法廷で仕事は一段落ついたからな。気持ちよく休日をむかえられそうだ。

〈ミクモ〉：せっかくだから、いまから３人で遊びに行きましょうよ！ボーリングとかカラオケとか‥‥ゲームセンターとか！

〈ミツルギ〉：いや‥‥私はそういったものはあまり得意ではないのだが。

〈イトノコ〉：まあまあ。金曜日の夜はパーッと遊んで、仕事の疲れを癒すものッスよ！映画とかもいいッスねえ！

〈ミクモ〉：今週もお仕事お疲れ様でした！さあさあ。遊びに行きましょう！

〈ミツルギ〉：まったく。いまのキミたちには何を言ってもムダのようだな。‥‥せめて、映画にしてくれたまえ。

〈イトノコ〉：土曜日の朝は散歩日和ッスねえ！ミサイル。体力作りとミサイルの訓練も兼ねて、たまに一緒に散歩してるッスよ。御剣検事の“パートナー”として、逆転検事２では自分も役に立ちたいッスからね！ 

〈イトノコ〉：金属探知機を使った捜査やミサイルとの連携なら、誰にも負けないッス！ねー。ミサイル！ん？何か気になるニオイでもあるッスか？ああああッ！ミ、ミサイルが走って行っちまったッス！ミサイルは食べ物のニオイがすると突っ走っちゃうッスよ。

〈イトノコ〉：こうなったら自分もニオイを頼りに追いかけるしか！こっちも捜査のプロッスからね！うぅ‥‥‥‥‥‥さっそく見失っちまったッス。こうなったら、ミサイルが好きなお菓子を用意しておびきよせるッス！‥‥本末転倒な気もするッスけど‥‥。

〈ミクモ〉：警察犬にしておくには惜しいですね、ミサイル。まさか大ドロボウから“どら焼き”を盗み食いするなんて‥‥！せっかく、あかねちゃんと２人で食べようとしてたのになあ。

〈イトノコ〉：おどろかせてすまねッス。ところで、さっきは２人で何をしてたッスか？落ち葉をこんなに集めて‥‥。

〈アカネ〉：ヒゾウのカガク薬品でおこした火を利用して、あったか～い “焼きどら焼き”を作ろうかと！

〈イトノコ〉：え。カガク薬品ッスか‥‥？ミミミミミサイル！お腹の調子は悪くないッスか！

〈ミクモ〉：大丈夫だよ！火をおこす前に食べられちゃったから。

〈イトノコ〉：ほっ。だったら良かったッス。

〈ミツルギ〉：ぜんぜん良くないだろう。カガク薬品を使って、公共の場で火遊びなど。あかねさん。カガクの研究は大事ですが、ほどほどにしていただきたい。

〈アカネ〉：はい！ほどほどにします！ところで、どこかにお出かけですか？

〈ミツルギ〉：ええ。少し用事がありまして‥‥。あまり時間がないので、失礼します。

〈ミクモ〉：‥‥ミツルギさん、どこに行くんだろうね？

〈アカネ〉：ふっふっふ。そんなときは足跡を辿ればいいんですよ！ほどほどにカガクの力を使って！

〈ミクモ〉：よーし！ほどほどに尾行しましょう！

〈イトノコ〉：２人とも‥‥ほどほどの使い方がおかしい気がするッス。

〈ミクモ〉：あの圧倒的なスケール！涙なしには語れません！オーケストラコンサートなんて初めてです！

〈アカネ〉：金管楽器の力強い音と、木管楽器の華麗な旋律！音のカガク変化を起こすことで、音楽は作られているんですね‥‥。

〈ミツルギ〉：うム。この日を楽しみにしていたかいがあったというものだ。‥‥まさか、キミたちまでついてくるとは思わなかったがな。

〈ミクモ〉：ノコちゃんにも聞かせてあげたかったな−。ミサイルの散歩があるから、一緒に来られなかったんですよね。

〈ミツルギ〉：刑事には、サウンドトラックＣＤ「オーケストラ・アレンジ楽曲集　〜奏でられし逆転〜」を聞かせるとしよう。いまからでもイーカプコンで予約出来るだろう。

〈アカネ〉：あたしはもちろん予約済みです！御剣検事さんの“1/10フィギュア”もバッチリゲットしますよ！

〈ミツルギ〉：私の1/10フィギュア？身長などを測られた覚えはないが‥‥。

〈ミクモ〉：そりゃもう、わたしがミツルギさんの情報をバッチリ盗んでおきましたからね！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：オーケストラホールで言うのはいささかためらわれるが‥‥一言だけ、言わせていただこう。

〈ミクモ〉：“異議あり！”‥‥ってね！

〈ミツルギ〉：な‥‥なぜキミが言うのだ！ 

〈アカネ〉：これが有名な大ドロボウの技“言葉を盗む”ですね。勉強になります！

〈ミツルギ〉：今日は特に予定が入っていない。近くの喫茶店で読書をして過ごすとしよう。‥‥さすがに、日曜日ぐらいは落ち着いて過ごしたいからな。

〈ミツルギ〉：心地よい日の当たる場所で、上質の紅茶を飲む‥‥。今日は良い休日になりそうだ。

〈ミツルギ〉：そういえば、先日“カオルさん”というフォロワーから、ついったーでアイサツされたのだが‥‥。アイサツを返す方法が分からなかったので、まだ返せていないのだ。ここで改めて礼を言わせていただこう。カオルさん、フォローしていただき感謝する。

〈オバチャン〉：ミ‥‥ミッちゃぁああん！やっと見つけたよぉおおお！

〈ミツルギ〉：ぐッ！ど、どうしてあなたがこの喫茶店に‥‥！

〈オバチャン〉：やだよミッちゃん！こないだこのツイッターとやらでアイサツしたじゃないか。さっきも“カオルさん、感謝する。”って言ってくれただろう？オバチャンうれしくなっちゃってねえ。ついついそこいらの喫茶店を巡ってミッちゃんを探しちまったのさ。愛のチカラっ

〈ミツルギ〉：は、早口すぎて“ついーと”におさまっていないではないか！しかも、“カオルさん”とは‥‥‥‥あなたのことだったのか！いくら喫茶店を巡ったといっても、こんなにカンタンに見つかるワケはない。‥‥何か隠していることがあるのではないか？ 

〈オバチャン〉：ミッちゃんったら、証拠もないのにそんなこと言っちゃ検事の名がすたれちゃうよ！オバチャンがミッちゃんに隠し事なんてするわけないじゃないのサ！

〈ミツルギ〉：フッ‥‥証拠品がなくとも、あなたの反応や感情を読み取り“言葉のみ”で真実を引き出してみせよう。

〈オバチャン〉：ああ。それならオバチャンも聞いたよ、ミッちゃん！《ロジックチェス》っていうヤツだろ？オバチャン、ミッちゃんのことなら何でも知ってるんだからね！

〈ミツルギ〉：“何でも知っている？”‥‥とはどういうことだろうか？

〈オバチャン〉：ほら。オバチャン警備員だからさ。このあいだ、前に勤めてた子がクビになったっていうから臨時で検事局の警備をしてたんだヨ。そのときにミッちゃんの住所がたまたま目に入っちゃってサ。

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥‥‥こちらから情報を引き出すまでもなく、自分で答えを言っているではないか！ 

〈オバチャン〉：あら。つい口が滑っちまったヨ。せっかくロジックチェスが見られると思ったのに残念だねえ。

〈ミツルギ〉：そ、それは逆転検事２で見ていただけないだろうか。私は用事があるので失礼する！

〈オバチャン〉：今日は用事がないってつぶやいてたじゃないか！今日という今日は、オバチャン絶対に逃がさないヨッ！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：く‥‥今日はさんざんな目にあった。

〈ミツルギ〉：休日だからといって気を抜きすぎていたな。自分の発言や周囲の警戒を怠っていたとは‥‥。

〈ミツルギ〉：ム？また“カオルさん”から私あてに“ついーと”が来ているな。『残念無念　カオル』‥‥と言われても、断じて誘いに乗るつもりはない！

〈イトノコ〉：御剣検事、聞いたッスか？ロウ捜査官が西鳳民国から来ているみたいッスよ！

〈ミツルギ〉：ほう。また国際的な事件に関わっているのだろうか。彼とはあまりゆっくり話す機会が無かったからな。時間があればアイサツぐらいは行くとしよう。

〈イトノコ〉：前回の事件は大変だったッスからねー。自分も、ロウ捜査官の部下の皆さんとはあんまり話せなかったッス。

〈イトノコ〉：なんせ知ってるだけでも１００名はいるッスからねえ。

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥全員と話そうとすれば、日が暮れてしまうだろうな。

〈イトノコ〉：正直、顔と名前を覚えるのもあきらめたッス。

〈ミツルギ〉：すべてをあきらめているではないか！ 

〈ロウ〉：よう。検事さん。こんなところで会うとはキグウだな。

〈ミツルギ〉：久しぶりだな、ロウ捜査官。まさか、このような飲食店で再会するとは思わなかったが。

〈ロウ〉：どっか１人で落ち着ける店を探してたら、たまたまここが目に入ったんでな。

〈ミツルギ〉：１人‥‥？キミにしてはめずらしいではないか。いつもの部下たちは一緒ではないのだろうか？ 

〈ロウ〉：まあな‥‥。狼子、曰く！“単独犯の気持ちを知るには、群れを離れるべし”ってな。オレだって１人になるときはあるさ。

〈ミツルギ〉：ほう？だが、それにしてはキミのテーブルにはムジュンがあるようだ。

〈ロウ〉：ハッ！検事さんお得意の“推理”ってやつかい？

〈ミツルギ〉：１人で食べるにしては、注文した料理は“大皿”ばかりで、量はどう見ても２０人以上に見えるのだが？

〈ロウ〉：うおおおッ！‥‥しまった。いつものクセでつい頼みすぎちまったようだ。よければ検事さん、少しもらってくれねえか？ 

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥１人で行動するのは、あまり得意ではないようだな。

〈ミクモ〉：ええ！ロウさん、またこっちに来てるんですか？

〈ミツルギ〉：ああ。以前と違い、なぜか１人で行動していたようだ。

〈ミクモ〉：それは、やっぱり大人数だと忍び込むのが難しくなるからじゃないですか？大ドロボウの鉄則です！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：彼は“国際捜査官”だろう。‥‥なんにせよ、彼には目的があってこの国に来ているようだったな。

〈ミクモ〉：それじゃ、また現場で会うかもしれませんねー。

〈ミツルギ〉：真実を追い求める気持ちは同じでも、時にはぶつかることもある。もし現場で出会うことがあれば、戦うことになるかもしれないな。

〈ミクモ〉：いいなあ。わたしも自分を高めてくれるようなライバルが欲しいです。ハア‥‥どこかにいないかなあ。大ドロボウを追い詰める好敵手！

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥逮捕されたいのなら、イトノコギリ刑事にでも頼みたまえ。

〈ミクモ〉：もう！そういうことじゃないんです！ 

〈ミクモ〉：ようやく２月になりましたね！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：ああ。いよいよだな‥‥。

〈イトノコ〉：２月３日が楽しみッス！

〈イトノコ〉：ウチの警察署では、節分の豆まきをやるッス！２月３日は、タダで大豆が食べられる貴重な日ッスよ！

〈ミクモ〉：わたしは毎年、投げられる豆をどれだけ受け取れるか挑戦してるんですよ！“鬼は外、福は内、大ドロボウは盗み”って感じで！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥一番大事なことを、忘れているのではないだろうか？

〈ミクモ〉：冗談ですってば！２月３日といえば、もちろんアレですよね！

〈イトノコ〉：逆転検事２の発売日を忘れるワケないッス！

〈ミツルギ〉：ム‥‥ならばいいのだが。

〈ミツルギ〉：発売まであと３日。フォロワーの方々も楽しみに待っていてくれたまえ。

〈ミツルギ〉：冬場の捜査は、寒くてかなわないな‥‥。発売前に風邪を引くわけにはいかん。しっかり防寒対策をしなければな。

〈ミツルギ〉：そういえば、イトノコギリ刑事は年中同じコートを着ているが、寒くないのだろうか‥‥。ああ‥‥単に、給与が下がりすぎて買えないだけかもしれないな。

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥‥‥夕食はイトノコギリ刑事でも誘うとするか。彼の食生活は、はた目から見ていても不安になる。まさか冬にそうめんを食べていることはないだろうが‥‥。

〈ミツルギ〉：検事局の近くに手打ちのうどん屋がある。リーズナブルな値段の割に、味も満足のいくものだ。‥‥‥‥いかん。イトノコギリ刑事を誘うとなると、ついつい麺類にばかり考えがいってしまうな。

〈ミツルギ〉:ム。さきほど発売まであと３日とつぶやいたのだが、発売日はあさって‥‥あと２日だったか。昨夜は、執務室で徹夜仕事だったのでな。日付の感覚が狂ってしまったようだ。

〈ミツルギ〉:私としたことが、つぶやきが“ムジュン”していたとは‥‥失礼した。指摘してくれたフォロワーの方、感謝する。

〈イトノコ〉：カツ丼美味いッスぅううう！今年初めてのトンカツッスよ！

〈ミツルギ〉：イトノコギリ刑事。つぶやきながら食べるのはやめたまえ！

〈イトノコ〉：自分、今年は水炊き鍋で“しらたき”ばかり食べてたッスからねー。

思わず叫んじまったッス！

〈ミクモ〉：叫んだんじゃなく、つぶやきですけどね！

〈ミツルギ〉：ソーメンではなかったが、彼の食生活はいつも危機的状況だな。

〈イトノコ〉：うう‥‥捜査で失敗するたびに、生活費がピンチになるッスからね‥‥。

〈ミクモ〉：でも、いま一番危機が迫っているのは、ミツルギさんのほうなんじゃ？

ＣＭで見ましたよ！“最大のピンチ”だって。

〈イトノコ〉：自分も聞いたッスよ‥‥。いったい、どんな失敗をしちゃったッスか！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：キミと一緒にしないでくれたまえ！

身に覚えはないが‥‥ピンチを恐れていても仕方がないだろう。

私は、自分の信じる道を行くだけだ。

〈ミクモ〉：さっすがミツルギさん！いざとなったらわたしも力を貸しますからね。大ドロボウとして！

〈イトノコ〉：もちろん自分もッス！ピンチな時の生活費のやりくりならお任せッス！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥せめて、刑事として力を貸してもらえないだろうか。

〈ミクモ〉：そういえば。ミツルギさんのお父さんって、どんな人なんですか？

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥なぜ、いきなりそんな質問を？

〈ミクモ〉：さっき信楽さんに聞いたんですよ。ミツルギさんのお父さんは、すごく立派な人だったって！わたしもお父さんを尊敬してたから、ちょっと気になっちゃって。

〈ミツルギ〉：幼い頃の私にとっては、尊敬すべき相手であり‥‥目標でもあった。

〈ミクモ〉：あれ？いまは違うんですか？ 

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥‥‥どうだろうな。一言で説明するのは難しい。この答えを知りたいのならば、明日まで待ってくれたまえ。

〈ミクモ〉：なるほど！逆転検事２に真実が隠されている‥‥と。ミツルギさんの真実、私が盗んじゃいますよ！

〈ミクモ〉：ノコちゃん！そっちの飾りは、もっと右よりでお願い！

〈イトノコ〉：こっちッスね！あ、飾りが落ちたッス！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：昼間から、人の執務室で何をしているのだ。

〈イトノコ〉：今日は非番ッスからね！明日の発売日に向けて、前夜祭の準備をしてるッスよ！ 

〈ミクモ〉：そろそろ、つぶやく時間もなくなって来ましたからね！

ミツルギさんは気にせず仕事をしててください！

〈ミツルギ〉：そう思うのなら、机の上にのぼるのはやめていただきたい。

‥‥もう少しで仕事が片付くから、それまで待っていたまえ。

〈ミクモ〉：え！ミツルギさんも手伝ってくれるんですか？

〈ミツルギ〉：私とて祝いたい気持ちはあるのだ。

〈イトノコ〉：助かるッス！

それじゃ時間までソファーに座って待ってるッスよ！

〈ミツルギ〉：‥‥‥‥‥‥廊下で遊んでいてくれないだろうか。

〈イトノコ〉：逆転検事２発売に向けて、乾杯ッス！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：フッ‥‥前夜祭というのも良いものだな。

〈ミクモ〉：えへへ。明日には、わたしたちのカツヤクをお見せできるんですね！ 

〈ミツルギ〉：うム。感慨深いモノがあるな。

〈ミクモ〉：わたしたちのつぶやきも、これで最後になるんですね‥‥ちょっと名残惜しいです。

〈ミツルギ〉：だが一週間のあいだ、このような機会をいただけて良かった。直接、感謝を伝えることが出来るのだからな。私たちのつぶやきを見ていた方々。‥‥あらためて礼を言わせていただこう。

〈イトノコ〉：まだまだ話したいことはあるッスけど、もう時間ッスからね！

〈ミクモ〉：でも、まだ前夜祭は始まったばかりですよ！なんと！このあと「逆転検事２」の開発スタッフに直接質問ができちゃうんです！ 

〈イトノコ〉：へえ！そんな企画があるッスか！

〈ミクモ〉：カプコンから盗んできた情報だから、確実ですよ！１８時ぐらいから始まるそうです！

〈ミツルギ〉：私としても聞きたいことはたくさんあるのだが‥‥そこはフォロワーの方々に任せるとしよう。それでは、私たちはこれで失礼する。

〈ミツルギ〉：開発スタッフに聞きたいことがあれば、どんどん追及してくれたまえ！