#loki kept crying @ me and i felt bad and now he is. laying across my legs

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if nobody got me i know autoheart got me

[michelleleewise]

Tale as Old as Time

Pairing: jotun Loki x plus-size reader

Warnings: forced imprisonment, swearing, yelling, crying

Summary: you make a few unlikely friends in your captivity.......

Part Four-

====================================

You sat huddled in the corner of the tiny cell, your arms wrapped around yourself trying to keep the cold away when you heard the cell door open. You looked up, wiping the tears from your eyes but there was no one there. "Hello?" You called out. "Hello miss, allow me to escort you to your room." You heard, seeing the candelabra you had brought with you hop into the doorway.

You eyes went wide as you screamed "what are you!" You yelled as the clock from downstairs hopped in "would you stop that racket!" It yelled as you backed away against the wall. "I am James, this delightful chap in Anthony." The candelabra said as it hopped closer. "You....you....your alive?" You stuttered "oh, she's a genius." Anthony said rolling his eyes. "Stop that!" James snapped at him. "What is your name miss?" James asked "y...y/n, I'm y/n." You said kneeling down "pleasure to meet you." He said bowing. "Now, let's get you to your room shall we." He said hopping off.

"Room? But I thought.." you started "No, we will not allow you to stay in this filthy dungeon." He said as you followed him out the small door. "You'll have to forgive the master, he wasn't always like this." Anthony said hopping alongside James. "You mean harsh and cruel?" You snarked as Anthony glared at you "he was a prince once, until.." James started when Anthony cut him off "it is not her concern." He said sternly "she's trapped here too, she deserves to know." James said. "Know what?" You asked, turning down a long hallway. "We were his servants, catering to everything his heart desired, but the master was.....cursed, along with all of us." James said.

You nodded as you came to a door and they stopped "the castle is your home now, you may go anywhere you like." James said "except the west Wing." Anthony added "Yes. Not the west wing." James agreed as the door opened "What's in the west wing?" You asked stepping inside "that is the masters wing. No one is allowed there." James said hopping on the bed. "I will have the kitchen prepare supper for you, you freshen up and we will be back to retrieve you." James said bowing as he hopped off the bed, him and Anthony leaving as the door closed.

You removed your cloak, looking around the large room. You could almost for your whole house inside it. You ran your fingers along the light pink duvet, laying your cloak down you looked at your dress, dirty and torn in some places. "It appears you need a dress." You heard, looking up seeing no one there. "H...hello?" You said walking across the room, eyeing the furniture suspiciously. Walking up to a an armchair lightly poking it when you froze, feeling as if someone was watching you you straightened, slowly turning seeing a bright red wardrobe in the middle of the room.

"That wasn't there before was it?" You thought outloud as you slowly walked up to it. You kept your eyes on it, circling around it coming to stand in front of it. You reached out, grabbing the drawer handle pulling it towards you as you felt a slap on your hand "do you mind?" You heard looking up seeing the top part of the wardrobe opening, rhe fabric inside forming a face "aaaahhh!" You screamed, falling down scurrying away from it. "Oh stop that, your being dramatic." It said as your back hit the wall. "W..who are you?" You stuttered "my name is Natasha, I am one of the masters designers, well was." She said "and who are you? We havent had visitors to the castle since.." She trailed off, silently sliding across the floor.

"I'm y/n, I was caught trespassing and now....." You said hugging your knees. She rolled her eyes "the master can be such a..." She trailed off looking down at you, tears in your eyes. "Don't cry my dear, its not all bad." She said "not bad? I can never leave, and I will never see my father again." You said, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Oh come now, I think you may grow to like us." She said smiling "it's not you I dislike." You said wiping your face. "Give the master a chance, their may still be a heart under all that ice." She said "now, let's make you presentable for dinner yes?" She asked as you stood up. "Well, if I'm stuck here I guess I should make the best of it." You said giving her a small smile, as Natasha started pulling fabrics out if the drawers. ❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄

Loki paced back and forth in his room, his cloak billowing behind him. "Why would they put her in a room? She should have stayed in her cell." Loki growled. "Because sir, that cell isn't suitable for the vermin, let alone a young lady." He heard. Turning to face Pepper "I don't need some silly girl wandering around the castle." He growled continuing to pace. "And they're making her dinner!" Loki yelled. "Sir, have you considered that she could be the one?" Pepper asked hopping across the tea table. "What do you mean?" He asked stopping to look at her.

"The one to break the curse! You know time is running out." She said looking at the snowflake shining in its glass enclosure. Loki walked over to it, sliding his fingers down the glass. "She...it will never be." He said sternly, sitting in his armchair rubbing the bridge of his nose when the little tea cup hopped up on his knee. "She is pretty, maybe you could get her to like you." He said looking at Loki. "Peter, you are only a child, you do not understand." He said putting his arm down. "You just have to be nice to her, I'm sure she will like you." Peter said smiling.

"It's not that simple." Loki said as Peter hopped into his large hand. "Why not?" He asked. "Why don't you invite her to eat with you?" Pepper interrupted as Loki looked between them. "I...well I mean I could, but.." he started "but nothing, what better way to charm her? Be kind, gentle. The poor dear lost her father and her freedom today, she's probably scared to death" Pepper said. Loki sighed "Very well, I will try." He said setting Peter down, walking towards the door. He turned to say something "no, go to her, ask her." Pepper said again as Loki swallowed, heading out the door.

He came up to your door, seeing James and Anthony outside of talking. "M...master, what a pleasant surprise." Anthony stuttered as James rolled his eyes. "Is she in there?" Loki asked looking at the door. "It was all James's idea sir, I told him it was a bad idea." Anthony rushed out nervously "and your making her dinner as well?" Loki asked crossing his arms. "Sir, if I may, she is the first lady we have had at the castle in years." James said hopping onto the table "and with every year we become less human, you must try sir." He said seeing Loki stare at the door.

He cleared his throat, pushing his shoulders back as he pounded on the door "You will join me for dinner, it's not a request!" Loki growled stepping back. "No sir, you must charm her. Try again and be gentler, softer and when she opens the door offer her a smile." James said seeing Loki roll his eyes. "Come now, let's see that smile." He said as Loki looked at him, giving him a stiff awkward smile "Well, that needs work." He said hearing Loki huff. He turned sighing, knocking softer "w..would you join me for dinner.....please." he said as James smiled. "Are you insane!?" They heard from the other side of the door.

"You are keeping me prisoner and then want to have dinner with me? The answer is no!" You yelled "Master, stay calm.." James started as Loki slammed his fist against the door "I told you to join me!" Loki yelled "and I said no!" You yelled back as Natasha came closer "dear, maybe you should.." She started as you put your hand up "I'd rather starve then eat with you!" You yelled "WELL GO AHEAD AND STARVE THEN!" Loki yelled back. Turning to James and Anthony "If she doesn't eat with me, she doesn't eat at all!" He yelled storming down the hall back to his room.

He entered his room, slamming the door behind him. He walked across to the balcony where the snowflake illuminated the falling snow. He picked up the hand mirror, holding it up flinching seeing his reflection "show me the girl." He said as his image faded away, showing you sitting in your room, huddled in the corner crying. He sighed, setting the mirror face down he looked at the snowflake, seeing a small piece fall off, floating to the table melting away. He looked up as he felt the castle rumble, stones falling from the tower. He closed his eyes leaning on the table...

She'll never love a creature like me........

❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄💙❄

@buttercupbestie @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lonadane @daggers-and-mischief @lily-sinclair-2006 @lokisninerealms @lokiprompts21 @limiworld @mochie85 @chickencouncilrep @lulubelle814 @commanding-officer @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lokixryss @froggiecky @intoxicatinginsanity @huntress-artemiss @lokis-coffee221 @kats72 @lucylaufeyson3 @sititran @babysharkcreator

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @el-zef @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @123forgottherest @lovebyloki @javagirl328 @loopsisloops @high-functioning-lokipath @immersed-in-mischief @chantsdemarins @mcufan72 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @midnights-ramblings @slpnbty2001 @angelaf1978 @sinsandguilt @usagishira @xorpsbane @lokifriggadottir365 @your-taste-on-my-lips @asgardianprincess1050 @cakesandtom @agentandreastark @sekaishell @dukes2581 @aniar4wniak

[your-highnessmarvel]

From Bleak to Bright - Part Nine

All other parts on on my masterlist, link provided below.

AN: this chapter is long again but worth it;) I’ve included two lines from two of you who’ve participated in my little challenge and these are the lines:

“You will not touch her!!”

“ Darling, I may be a god but I am still a man”

so be on the look out;)

Warnings: angst, language, sexually explicit language (18+ only!)

MASTERLIST - SERIES MASTERLIST

PART NINE

Three days passed without incident, well, false, there were a few spilled cereals on the floor and burning yourself while trying to make dinner. Otherwise, though, there was no incident!

Loki kept his distance, or well, as far away as he wanted. Whenever he deigned to come back to the loft, he was handsy. A hand at the small of your back while you made dinner. A hand on your thigh while you read to him late at night. A lingering hand in yours while you said goodnight. But never more. 

And as much as you wanted to be more, to have the courage to swallow your pride and to act on the soulmate bond, you never went further. 

Even despite the soulmate bond, the fact that colors were so vibrant and real, there was always that nagging thought at the back of your head. Bruce. He came to you in your dreams, pleading, begging you to come back. Even if you woke up with your heart in your throat, your fingers trembling, you never made another attempt to leave the loft. 

And that’s what it was this morning, waking up with your heart bashing against your breastbone, your breath haggard, hands shaking as you gripped the sheets. You gasped, trying to catch your breath, but the vividness of the dream made your head spin. Ever since colors came to you, your dreams just felt that much more real. 

After sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to get your brother’s face out of your mind, you went to the bathroom and cleaned up for the day, dressing in your regular jeans and t-shirt. You planned to ask Loki how his evil mastermind of a plan was going, but the loft was quiet. 

Last night, you’d gotten through half of Jane Austen, while Loki played in your hair, watching you with those intense green eyes. The book still lay on the couch, open, face down, and you picked it back up.

“Proceeding without me, darling?”

You looked back as Loki strode in from the hall, the door to his room wide open, and you could see his unmade bed beyond. You wondered how Loki slept. Was he a quiet, unmoving sleeper? Or a loud, messy one? 

“Sleeping in late now, are we?” you countered as you went back to the book. Loki went to the kitchen with a chuckle, beginning his breakfast. 

“A day off never hurt anybody,” he answered.

“A day off from what?” you asked with a snark. “From taking over my planet?”

He chuckled softly but never answered. He was so dodgy when it came to questions about it. Even your questions about the Avengers, he usually shrugged and ignored you. 

He came back with two bowls of Lucky Charms and coffee, which you both indulged in silence. Today, Loki was wearing a black knit sweater and his usual trousers, his leg folded on the couch between you. He looked almost sweet eating his child’s cereal, deep in thought, those green gems faraway.

When you were finished, he took your bowl and empty mug and went back to the kitchen to wash them. You looked at him, chin on the back of the couch, losing yourself in the width of his broad shoulders, the way the fabric of his sweater strained across the expanse of his back.

He was truly, utterly beautiful. Maybe it was the soulmate bond tugging deep in your chest, making you see things in him you’d normally never notice. But his touch was gentle, even if his body was all sharp, hard angles. His face was sweet despite the constant frown and the obnoxious tone he sometimes employed. There was something about those strands of raven hair, cut short just beneath his ears, that you wanted to run your fingers through. Would they be soft? Would they be thick? 

Countless times you’d pictured yourself tugging at those dark roots, pulling his head back and exposing his pale, long neck. 

“Staring, Y/N?” came the rumble of his voice. 

You perked up, cheeks growing hot. He was still facing away from you. How did he know?

Your silence made him chuckle, his shoulders moving along with the waves of his laughter. He turned off the tap, turning to face you, leaning against the countertop. You wanted to absolutely delete the space between the both of you, but instead, you fell back against the couch, only your eyes and forehead visible to him. 

He smiled cockily. “It’s fine if you stare,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s adorable.”

“I wasn’t,” you stuttered, looking away, wanting to hide. “I wasn’t staring.”

“I am not an idiot,” Loki said, stalking towards you. “I know staring when I see it.” He put his hands on the back of the couch, on each side of your face, and you had to look up to maintain eye contact. 

“I was just - looking,” you mumbled, looking down. 

He hooked a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes back to his. “I said it’s fine if you look,” he said, inching closer, leaning over you. “I do it too.”

He watched you frown with a tilt of his head, his fingers still grasping your chin. Your mouth parted to say something back, maybe a clever little retort, but you found yourself at a lost for words. 

“I feel the same bond as you, Y/N,” he said, and now his tone was lower, rougher. “I feel the same... desires as you.” You wanted to look away, but he kept a hold on you that you dared not break. “Do you think of me at night?” he asked in a whisper.

Your breath hitched. You did. God, you did. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you stayed long hours staring up at the cream ceiling, imagining what he was doing in his room. What he was thinking. If he was imagining you as well. If his body responded to the thought of you. Because yours did whenever his smirk appeared in your mind’s eye, whenever those hands imaginarily stroked your hips.

His mouth quirked up in a smirk. “You do,” he murmured, gaze dropping momentarily at your parted lips. “Say it.” It was a command.

You gulped, finding it extremely hard to maintain eye contact. “I do.” Your voice was small, barely above a whisper. 

He smiled. “Of course you do.” He stroked your bottom lip with his thumb. “I can’t help it, having you in my thoughts. It’s like a plague. I can’t bare it when I am not with you. I want...” he trailed off, his eyes round, red mouth parted as if he was surprised he’d admitted this much. “I want to kiss you so much. I want to touch every single inch of your skin. I want to taste you and hear what that brings out of you. I can’t stop thinking about it, and Gods, is it hard to control myself.”

You gulped, heat crawling up your face, your hands in fists at your sides. Something new spilled in your tummy, a heat previously unbeknownst to you. It dripped like lead down your thighs, seeping into your core, and you shut your legs together to keep it there.

Loki chuckled, watching you struggle. “Darling, I may be a God but I am still a man,” he whispered. You shivered, the force of his words like a hot flame coursing down your body. “And I won’t be able to keep myself from you any longer.”

You looked up, something daring crawling up your features, relaxing your trembling fists. 

“Then don’t,” you said. 

He was so close to you that you could see the little freckles on his eyelids, the crinkling of the skin beside his mouth as his lips split into a grin. 

“You’re bad,” he uttered. “I like it.”

He softly jerked his chin, eyes boring into yours, and you felt the kiss before he even touched you. His hand left your chin and slid down to grasp your shoulders, bringing you up, kneeling before him. And as he softly pressed his lips to yours, he brought you over the edge of the couch until you stood before him.

At first, his lips were hesitant, soft, slow, as if he was afraid to scare you. To make sure you totally and utterly wanted this. And God, was this better than anything you’d ever experienced. The smell of him so close, the feel of his body pressed flushed against yours, his lips molding against your mouth. It was Paradise. 

Flames erupted under your flesh as Loki kissed you, slowly, sensuously. Your hands slid across his arms, up around his shoulders, and finally, you gripped the soft roots of his raven locks. A guttural groan escaped his throat when you tugged softly, and his left hand - that’d been obediently tucked against your waist - gripped your ass, while his right hand wrapped slowly around your throat.

And his kiss deepened, became hungrier, his tongue opening your lips for him. Heat pooled treacherously down your belly, settling in the pit of your pelvis. This side to Loki, this lasciviousness, the way his hand around your throat squeezed ever so slightly, the one on your ass gripping possessively, made your heart trash against your ribs. 

You wanted more. You wanted closer. You wanted him. 

But the moment broke. It shattered at the sound of a loud, blaring alarm, the loft shutting down and coming back blood red in lights. 

You broke apart, panting, and Loki quickly turned so you were behind him. Your hands rested on his upper back, and you could feel his quick breaths as he scanned the room. Your lips were warm, swollen from his kiss.

A shuddering, ground breaking crash made the floor beneath your feet rumble, like a great big beast had thundered through the walls.

“Shit,” you said, all heat lost, a frozen, merciless cold gripping your insides. You knew exactly what great big beast had found you. 

Loki turned, and the complete change in his expression - from lust to panic - made your head spin. 

“We’ve been found,” he said. “They’ve come for you, my dear.” He looked at you expectantly, and whatever he wanted you to say, you didn’t. Because you couldn’t choose between your brother, your fucking family, and your soulmate. 

The unfairness made you want to cry. 

He gripped your hand and kissed it harshly. “Stay here,” he ordered. 

Your empty hand felt cold without his.

He turned and rippled his magic, illusion dripping from him, revealing the true God. Clad in his long green cotton cape, his black, gold, and green armor adorning his lean build, his horned, golden helmet casting off the brute lights. He looked like a true God; a powerful one. 

Something weird and unpleasant settled in your stomach when he brought his left hand up, his golden staff materializing between his fingers. The light at the tip glowed a nebulous, familiar blue. 

He used it to travel - that was the only word you had for it, the way the world seemed to crack before him, swallowing Loki whole and closing, leaving you staring at empty space. 

Panting, heart beating, thoughts wild from both the kiss and the blaring alarm, you ran for the door. As you’d guessed, it was locked. Whatever magic Loki held on the loft, it wasn’t about to let you out. Pressing your ear against the door, you heard nothing but the muffled rumbling of the lab on the other side. 

You pushed back, angry, groaning in frustration. Maybe if you found your brother and explained. Even if it was ridiculous. Even if Loki was ultimately the villain, the one to threaten your own planet, there had to be an explanation for the bond. And surely, your brother would understand, right?

But you had no time to answer your own question. You had no time to venture into your thoughts. The door blasted open, sending a wave of heat, throwing you back across the air. You landed hard on your back, your head cracking against the floor. 

You vision blurred, wavered, flooding in and out from black to red. A few sparks blew in your vision, muffled voices blurring in your ears. Something pushed off your chest, a heavy weight clearing, your breathing returning in a rush.

Someone was talking to you, yelling at you actually, but you couldn’t make them out. Your world was red and black, a harsh duality, your head swimming viciously. You thought you’d vomit, but the feeling passed. Your left arm was numb.

“Get up!” 

It was a voice you recognized. 

Thor.

You felt arms under your knees, behind your head, gently lifting you. There was a cold harshness, like steel, against your cheek. A rumbling voice overhead. 

“Y/N,” he said, shaking you slightly. “Can you hear me?”

You shook your head. “He’s going to kill you,” you mumbled, frowning, a violent headache searing across your brain. 

Thor huffed. 

Something crashed nearby. Thor groaned, his body moving slightly. 

“Let her go!” Loki’s voice made the world regain its focus, like being taken out from underwater. You reached up, gripping Thor’s armor. Trying to push yourself off. 

“Loki, you’ve mascaraed this planet!” Thor shouted. The force of his voice shook through you. The voice of a God. A king. 

“Let her go, brother! You’ve no idea what you’re doing!” There was pain in Loki’s voice, urgency. Fear.

“Put down the staff, Loki,” Thor demanded. Your head was heavy. An ache crawled along your skull. Another concussion. 

The air shifted, something similar to space travel, but your skin didn’t tighten, your body didn’t feel stretched across time. Thor yelled, his hands curling at your sides, until you were dropped and Thor’s body was propelled from yours.

When you looked up, your head aching something fierce, Loki was bent over you, green eyes torn with fear. He placed a hand on your shoulder, skimming your collarbone. “I’ll kill him,” Loki growled, getting to his feet.

You wanted to tell him to stop, to just take you away again, but your head was too heavy to lift. 

“Bruce is out there, brother,” Thor said, but you couldn’t see him, and your brother’s name on his tongue made tears brim in your eyes. “He’s coming for her and you can’t stop it!”

“You cannot have her!” Loki yelled back, vicious, teeth snapping. “You will not touch her! She’s mine!”

There was a vicious, tremendous crash, the ground rumbling under your spine, sending reverberations painfully dancing along your skull. 

Loki turned, saw the flash of green in the blaring red of the alarm. You wanted to call out. Call out to your brother. You didn’t want him hurt, even if you knew that in this form, the Hulk was basically indestructible.

Loki was too far away to simply leave with you, using the power of his staff. He glanced at you, saw the expanse of space between you both, and his eyes sharpened, just as Hulk came barreling through the wall, roaring in rage, coming toe to toe with Loki.

And Loki vanished, leaving you there, on the floor, broken, and empty.

Tags:  @subtlemalice @yallgotkik @buckyandlokirunmylife @kaz11283 @legolas-bromance @shylittlemountain @tofeartheunknown @feelmyfckngsoul @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @caffiend-queen @tomhollandsslilslut @lady-loki-ren @nathan-no @rosaline-black @abundanceofcarolines @my-own-oracle @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @marvelouslovely @drbaureid @bored-as-hell-666 @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @theinfinitenerd @toe-vind-ek-jou @ink-and-starlight @blank-bakabane @sunshineonloki @holaamishamigos @palegoopbearlight @heyarely16 @pleaseexecuteme @athalahild @help-i-need-a-social-life @tapismyforte @coloursforyourportrait @celestialstarshadow @fukyouthink @lust-for-pan @thic-thor

[bingoluka]

Need You

Summary: After a case gone wrong, and an injury left unattended, Loki realizes that even Gods need somebody.

Notes: Includes wound depiction and good ole' angst! Also a lil' Wowki but I'm a little bitch baby.

...

When he said it hurt like hell, it hurt like hell.

Each case tended to go wrong in its own unique and terrible way. Whether one of them leaves with a torn shirt and headache, or a deep gash and a broken spirit, one thing was certain; that Mobius and Loki looked out for each other.

Though, Loki would hardly admit he had grown quite fond of the man he called his partner.

Beyond that, he would hardly admit when he really, truly needed his help. He was independent, he knew this, and sometimes asking for the help or pity of another more than once seemed too much mental strain- for both him and whoever had the bad fortune of being alongside him. He hadn't realized the severity of the injury at the time, as a large piece of metal tore away at his abdomen while swimming from an impending tsunami. His magic had already begun to heal him, fixing the initial trauma while the freezing water numbed him.

He has assumed the blood in the water hadn't been his.

Now there he was, wandering aimlessly along the TVA corridors, wishing desperately he could lay his inhibitions to rest all the while sparing his friend the worry. Though, he knew it was unlikely.

The air felt cold against his skin, each step sending a fiery blast of pain across his stomach and up to his back. He grimaced. Pathetic, he thought to himself weakly. Who are you without your power?

"Loki? Loki!"

His voice sounded distant at first, so much he grew concerned he had never heard it at all. A sharp exhale left Loki's mouth as another pang sent shockwaves through his body.

"Oh no- oh no-!"

He stumbled, his legs crossing wildly over each other and he fell into the wall next to him. He began to sink to his knees, the pain becoming overpowering as he fought to stay present. How was it getting worse?

He realized then the wound no longer felt cold. It felt hot, burning as fresh blood spilled from the wound. Loki realized then how little healing had taken place.

"Loki? Hey, hey look at me."

Mobius's voice was soft, calming as it was fearful. Loki wanted to melt into the other, hide from the agony.

"I-I'm sorry," he gasped. "I thought it had healed- I thought- I thought it wasn't this bad-"

"Shh," he whispered, keeping a steady hand on Loki's back. "Loki, can you walk?"

Loki stopped for a moment, his eyes falling to the ground in shame. His breathing was already erratic, jumbling his thoughts and rationality to the point he wasn't sure of anything. He looked up at Mobius now, his eyes scanning his for a sign.

"Come on."

Loki hadn't realized how many people were there with them. Maybe it was adrenaline, or his partial loss of vision from the wound, either way, the voices began to filter in at that moment. Agents and hunters, some workers he had never seen all gathered around them. Mobius had taken one side, while a hunter had him on the other, leading him out of the hall when his body began to go limp. He fought against it, begging himself to stay upright just long enough to prove he was capable. But he wasn't, and they knew this. His knees buckled beneath him, sending both him and the other two staggering forward with an "oh-!"

He could feel them ease him to the ground, pain shooting through him again as he made contact with the floor- causing him to cry out.

"We need to address the wounds here," Mobius said, his voice sharp and heavy. "He's deteriorating, either we let him use magic or we heal him ourselves."

"We can't just let that happen, we have to be outside of the TVA," someone said. "We need to take him somewhere else."

As they spoke, others had taken to pressing against his wound to suppress the bleeding. At first, it was agony. But after a while, he felt a warmth come over his body, a peace he had never felt as the pain melted away. He knew it wasn't supposed to happen, Mobius frantically calling his name being a sure sign, but the relief was something he couldn't deny.

"Loki! Stay with us, come on-"

Before he slipped into sleep, the last thing he saw was Mobius over him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. God, he was tired. But he regretting falling asleep all the same.

...

"If I would've known he was hurt, I wouldn't have taken my eyes off him, what more is there to understand?"

Mobius looked at Renslayer for a moment. Defiance wasn't typically in his nature, though he'll admit his actions spoke otherwise. He was more a calm deviant, not driven by a harsh nature but rather a calm and collected one. She sighed, resting her pointer and thumb on the bridge of her nose.

"I know, I know. But we can't have events like that happen, Mobius. Half our team was distracted, imagine if the variant had struck then?"

"You know I respect you, Renslayer. I really do, I admire you and you know that. But this just seems wrong, he's still a person," Mobius said, frowning. "I know in the grander scheme of things we have a lot to worry about but I saw humanity out there. A collective force of good working toward an unspoken goal."

"Which is?"

"Making sure variant or not, we're taking care of each other."

...

Loki woke on the couch that night.

Wait, couch?

He had expected to still be on the floor. Though he knew Mobius would never, it wasn't out of the picture that another agent might let him stay on the ground. After all, they weren't too fond of him. He went to stretch, the sharp pains from his stomach stopping him in his tracks as he remembered why he was there.

The room was dark, dark enough that beyond his fixed point on the couch, Loki could hardly see a thing. A voice pierced the air, causing him to jump.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

As Loki realized who it was, he sank back into the couch.

"Fine," he mumbled. Mobius raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You didn't seem too fine back there when you were bleeding out in the halls of the TVA."

"Well, I was," Loki snapped, staring up at the ceiling. He realized how foolish he sounded, but at that point, he didn't care.

"Loki, what happened on that mission?" Mobius asked gently, ignoring the other's outburst. Loki sighed a bit, trying to shift his position.

"I didn't-" he cut himself off with a wince as he moved wrong, the pain burning at first, then turning into a dull ache. Mobius looked down at him worriedly.

"I didn't think it was that bad," he said hurriedly. "I was so cold from the water I didn't feel it. I just assumed the blood hadn't been mine."

It was grim. The idea of the blood in the water was so common for that moment, so anticipated that he had nearly bled out yet speculated it was from somebody else. It brought into focus the severity of even human apocalypses.

"But the blood," Mobius said, frowning. "I should have been able to see it on your shirt when we got back. I didn't see any."

"My magic had healed it for the most part," Loki said. "Just not enough. Once I returned it must've begun to reverse."

As Loki spoke, he noticed Mobius reaching for the hem of his shirt. He quickly blocked his hand with an offended "Hey." Mobius chuckled, shaking his head.

"I'm just trying to see it, come on."

"You don't need to," Loki glared. But of course his efforts didn't deter Mobius, who kept his steady gaze.

"Loki," he said gently. "Come on, let me see."

Loki sighed, wordlessly lifting the hem of his shirt to reveal the array of wounds, accented by the much larger wound that ran across the bottom of his abdomen. He heard Mobius's breath catch.

"Geez..." He murmured, gently brushing a finger across the uninjured skin, which even then was sore.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked sadly. Loki cast his eyes to the side.

"An unspoken rule amongst warriors in Asgard was to each their own. It wasn't uncommon to receive wounds in battle, it was seen as noble to keep them to yourself."

"Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Mobius said with raised eyebrows. He added a hasty, "No offense."

"No, I agree. They were all morons," he said lightheartedly.

Mobius laughed now, bowing his head as he did so. Loki smiled a bit, still somewhat troubled by the pain but not enough to mention it.

"This is your apartment, then?" He said, trying to initiate conversation so Mobius wouldn't see as he began to sit up.

"Hey, not so fast," Mobius said, placing a hand on the small of Loki's back. "Your powers may be back, but you have a ways to go."

"I'm alright, really."

"I'm beginning to think that phrase holds less ethos each time I hear it."

Loki huffed, barely managing to sit all the way up. He looked around the room as his eyes adjusted. It was a small apartment, most of his items being placed in the living area. Books, dusty empty bottles, wooden furniture accented with water stains and loose change. The carpet was plush, he noticed, like something you would see from the nineties. It was all very cozy and welcoming.

"Sorry about the mess," he said, assuming that's what Loki had been looking at. "I didn't really have time to clean."

"Mess?" Loki frowned. "Mobius, you bring me into your home and you really assume I'm going to judge the state of it?"

"Well, to be fair, I don't get a lot of visitors," he smiled. "Now you need some rest, alright?"

If Loki had just an ounce more strength, he would've shot back some snarky response. This time, however, he found himself too tired to think of one, so instead, he flashed a quick smile.

"I'll be here if you need me."

If you need me.

Loki pondered on the words for a while. Maybe it was the way he said it, or the weariness finally catching up with him. Before he never would have admitted he need someone, much less someone with no relation to him. But in that darkened room he gathered he had a change of heart. As he felt himself slowly fading into the warm embrace of sleep, he felt a hand run across his head, gently brushing his unkempt hair back in a stroking motion. He wanted to open his eyes, to see Mobius, but he stayed still just long enough to hear the words,

"Glad you're alright, Lokes."

Before contently falling asleep.

[imagine-that]

Good for you

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: angst? Anger? Idfk, breaking things, rage ig.

( A part 2 to White Horse )

AN: I didn’t have this one planned as a part buttttttttt I heard the song and I had a Loki’s perspective idea for this fic and I just started writing it and now it’s finished andddddd I kinda like it even more than I liked White Horse 😊😊 here’s the song if you want to listen while you read or whatever ❤️❤️

Loki glared up at the ceiling, staring up at the art of a mural painted over the surface for what seemed like the thousandth time that day alone. He showed absolutely no desire to do much else lately, not unless visiting Heimdall counted as something to do, but he never did that just for the purpose of chatting.

Since you’d ran away, he was even worse than he was before. He was cold towards anyone who approached him, he snapped at the very slightest of things and he spent his days obsessing. Obsessing over where you were, what you did, who you were with. Essentially, if it had anything to do with you, he demanded to know even the smallest of details.

For whatever reason, he didn’t dare go down to Midgard to look for you. Heimdall believed it was because he only worried for you and somehow deep down he knew this was better for the both of you but he kept this theory to himself, not wanting to further enrage the god.

“Where is she/he/they now?” Loki barked as he walked through the gates, not bothering with a normal greeting.

“Y/n is just out for a coffee your highness, there is not much to say from the last time you asked.” Heimdall said simply.

Loki shakes his head with a cold laugh. “And? Who is she/he/they with then? Midgardians typically go for coffee in pairs. They use it as a date.” He sneers, glaring just at the thought.

“It seems that she/he/they is with another person yes.” Heimdall says, hoping it won’t send Loki over the edge to hear.

“Of course.” He mutters under his breath, storming away without another word to Heimdall, his brain flooding with an overwhelming amount of memories with you, making his jaw grind as it tightened.

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world

His thoughts were plagued with the idea of you with another, your hand held in someone else’s, your laugh being another persons treasure. It filled him with an envy as green as his cloaks, his blood boiling at the mere idea.

He stormed through the throne room, ignoring his fathers shouts of anger for the interruption, ignoring Thor’s cries of concern and heading straight to the only place he felt he had left of you; your room in the palace.

As angry as he was, he gently shut the door behind him rather than slamming it, not wanting to disturb the peace in the empty room.

To others, that was exactly what it would look like; an empty and vacant bedroom waiting to be used. But to him it was the last place he’d seen you, the last time he’d ever seen his one true love was in this room and he couldn’t handle the idea that it could be the last time ever.

He glanced at the photos you’d left decorating your dresser, the only sign that this room was ever once used for anything more than a guest room.

He stared at one of the photos with a blank stare, grabbing it off the dresser and looking down at your still smiling face intently, as though if he stared long enough, it would pull you right out of the photograph and back to him. But then he flashes back to the last night you two had been together, the way he’d been so blinded by his love for you that you’d managed to deceit him and he cried out in anger, tossing the frame across the room where it smashed as soon as it hit the wall.

He was breathing heavy, collapsing down to the ground on his knees.

He remembered Heimdall telling him that you had been seeing a therapist, coping much better with the trauma he’d put you through when you started seeing the professional. Despite his love for you, he was jealous beyond belief.

He was a god, he was good looking, he was a prince. He should be the one thriving without you, so he thought. But instead he was the one falling apart at the seams.

And good for you, I guess that you’ve been workin’ on yourself

I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

He cried out again, anger filling his entire body with a hot rage.

Thor slammed the door open, rushing over to his brothers side. “Brother, what is the matter?” He asked, crouching down beside him.

Loki laughs humourlessly. “What is the matter? WHAT IS THE MATTER? The one person in this world who has ever chosen me over all else, who has ever loved me unconditionally has ran off into the sunset, probably with a mere mortal. And I am at fault for it. That, dear brother, is what is the matter.” He growls, a sad smile painting his lips.

“Y/n will return brother, at which point you may apologize for the problems between you two.” Thor assures him.

Loki scoffs, looking up at his brother with narrowed eyes. “Dare not speak her/his/their name brother.” He warns, his jaw stiff again.

Since your departure, the only person who’d said your name was Heimdall. Not even Loki himself could bring himself to say it, the pain still too raw.

Well good for you

You look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

“It will happen Loki. Give it time.” Thor says again, ignoring his brothers threat as he rises to his feet, patting Loki on the shoulder sympathetically.

Loki doesn’t move, stays in his spot planted on your floor, surrounded by his memories while Thor leaves.

He pulls himself up, but only to let himself lay on your bed rather than looking so pathetic and powerless on the floor, feeling he at least deserved that much dignity.

“Dearest I miss you.” He murmurs to no one, staring up at the ceiling once again, this time not quite glaring. The intricate golden and silver designs on your ceiling were more delicate, softer than the ones in his own or in any other room in the palace really.

“Loki I don’t need my own room in the palace. I have yours! That’s plenty enough for me.” He could practically hear your voice, your hesitation at staying in the palace officially due to the royalty part of everything fresh in his mind as though it were only yesterday and not three or so years ago.

Now you were probably off living your dream Midgardian life, something that was completely beyond him in your eyes apparently. He could almost see you, walking around in the streets on Midgard, savouring everything you saw, smelt, tasted. From what Heimdall had said, you were perfectly content being so ordinary.

Good for you

You’re doing great out there without me, baby

God I wish that I could do that

He hated thinking of you, every moment he did was a moment he had to spend missing your presence. In yet another fit of rage, he threw a crystal vase at the door, the shattered pieces spreading across the floor.

He forced himself to his feet, making himself leave your room, abandoning the broken items as he simply walked around them, slamming the door behind him. He’d already disturbed the peace in the room just by being there, he knew, and to think otherwise would be foolish and stupid.

“Prince Loki, are you alright? I heard something break and it sounded as though it came from your room.” A young maid asked as she approached him, worry apparent on her face. Loki recognized the girl as one who had been crushing on him for years, one who often made you bubble with jealousy whenever she was around.

He smirked at the girl, a new idea popping into his head, one that would surely have hurt you as bad as your leave had hurt him.

“I am alright, I slipped and knocked down a vase, that is all.” He explained, trying to regain his usual charm and confidence.

The girl nodded, a small smile on her lips. “I’m so glad.” She says, batting her eyelashes his way in a manner he was sure she thought was attractive to him. He ignored it, focusing on his goal.

He grabbed the girl and pulled her into his room, shutting the door and pushing her up against it, wasting no time as he attacks her lips with his own. She lets out a gasp of surprise but immediately returns the gesture, kissing him hard. He holds her at the waist with one hand, going to cup her face with the other but opens his eyes for a mere moment and is suddenly seeing your face.

He blinks harshly, until it’s the girl standing in front of him again, watching him with a confused pout. Just as she’s about to speak, more than likely to ask if he’s alright again, he pulls the door open, shoving her out and closing it behind her, his eyes wide as he runs a hand through his hair, breathing heavy once again as he falls to the floor, his back against the door.

“Loki she was staring right at you! She’s practically in love with you! And I’m standing right there and she still makes googly eyes at you!” You had scoffed whenever the maid was around.

He so badly wanted to be able to laugh about your jealousy towards a girl who meant nothing to him compared to you, whose name he couldn’t even remember. He wanted to caress the side of your face, the pad of his thumb to your lips while he reassured you that he was all yours, no one else’s. But he couldn’t turn back time, this he knew.

“My love I’d give anything to get you back to me.” He chokes, starting to sob into his lap.

I’ve lost my mind

I’ve spent the night

Crying on the floor of my bathroom

He spends the whole night there, leaned against the door, getting nothing but an hour or so of sleep. The next day, he uses a simple spell to make himself appear fine, not able to bear the embarrassment of others seeing him breaking down like this.

He ignores any castle staff onlookers, going on in his stride straight back to the bifrost, following his newfound unhealthy routine.

“Prince Loki I must advise you as to how toxic this is becoming for you.” Heimdall warns him, letting out a sigh as Loki holds up a hand to silence him, watching expectantly for an answer to his unasked question.

“Y/n has been settling into her/his/their new life. She/he/they is starting a Midgardian job today.” Heimdall finally explains, giving up on his attempts to preserve Loki’s feelings.

“I see.” Loki hums to himself, the gears in his brain shifting.

“Was that all?” Heimdall asks, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Send me there.” Loki says suddenly, looking over at Heimdall for the first time in all of his many visits. Heimdall looks back in slight shock.

“What do you believe that will accomplish your highness?” He asks, trying to fight Loki on the matter respectfully.

“I need to see my love there, happy. I need to see it for myself.” Loki responds simply. Heimdall glances at him once more, nodding as he knows he’d never be able to talk him out of this idea. He tells him where exactly he’d be able to find you reluctantly.

Heimdall opens the gates wordlessly, sending Loki on the way down to earth. Loki arrives, dusting off his clothes as he uses another spell to make himself appear completely different from usual.

Though he’d only spent a brief period on Midgard, he knew his way around well enough that he could find the address Heimdall had given him fairly quickly, walking through the streets of New York to find it.

“Of course she/he/they would pick New York.” He thought to himself bitterly, winding past other tourists until he reached the building he was looking for. He was about to enter when something caught his eye in the window of a small coffee shop next door. He saw a flash of y/h/c, the exact shade he’d seen so many times and froze, staring on at the source.

And there you were, with men and women and people all around you, chatting, laughing, drinking with them. He saw the warm smile on your face and his heart melted knowing he wasn’t the source of it this time. He couldn’t hear what was being said through the window but he knew it was important from the sole fact that it was making you laugh. He felt tears starting in his eyes, a wave of hurt hitting him again and again inside, drowning him.

But you’re so unaffected,

I really don’t get it

But I guess good for you

He watched, unable to move from his spot, eyes glued to the familiarity of you. He wanted your warm embrace against his cold to the touch skin, your lips on his.

But he felt another wave, one of anger. You’d left that touch, that safety net, for this. For midgardians, mere mortals. How could they possibly offer you more than he could, he wondered.

He took a deep breath, stalking into the coffee shop and getting in line to order, wanting at least one thing to come out of this disaster of a thought to come to where you are.

“No no, my ex... he’s a good guy. We just weren’t really meant to be, I guess? It was... complicated.” He overheard you say, his eyes darting to you. He tries to turn his gaze away, realizing what he’s doing but you look up, your eyes meeting his. For a moment the both of you keep eye contact, Loki too scared to look away and you confused as to why this man you’d never seen has such a familiar stance to him.

You blink a few times, turning back to your group and continuing your chat, making Loki breath a small sigh of relief. He mutters his order to the poor barista, her swooning over him, even in his disguise. Once his order comes up, he storms out, not bothering to look back at you as you start talking about your new job, new apartment, your new life essentially. He frowns at the thought of you being in any place that would be unfamiliar to him, trying to think of how you might feel living without him.

Did you miss him as much as he missed you? Had your comment in the shop been a hint that you were miserable like he was? But he knew that neither of those would possibly be true. Your smile said it all; you were already moving on perfectly fine without him. It was as though you were almost trying to erase your history with him, from his perspective anyway.

Well good for you, I guess you’re getting everything you want

You bought a new car and your career’s really taking off

It’s like we never even happened, baby what the fuck is up with that?

Unable to bear the thoughts multiplying in his mind, Loki ducked into an ally, curling into himself against a wall, starting to cry again.

He groaned in frustration, his head in his hands. You were unraveling him, he wasn’t sure how and he didn’t like how it felt. He’d always been at least somewhat levelheaded but with you gone, his mind was always clouded, his thoughts were infected with you nonstop.

It was like a disease had overcome his entire body and he had no cure, no antibodies to fight it.

“What have I done?” He asks himself, sighing into his hands, staying in his position crouched on the ground for a quiet moment, seeking nothing but a bit of peace.

He’d only wanted to show you he truly loved you but instead he’d driven you away, into a new embrace.

He runs a hand over his jaw, willing himself up. If he couldn’t hear to see you, there was no purpose in him furthering his stay. He decided silently that the best option for him was going back and waiting for Heimdall to open the gates, to get him as far away from your soft features and glowing personality as possible before he did something he’d regret, like approaching you and outing himself as a stalker, not that he really cared anymore. You’d never see him the same as you once had, this much was clear.

Memories of the first I love you came to his mind suddenly.

“I love you Loki, and I know you love me too so stop acting so silly and just say it, please.” You had begged him. He had merely smirked and ran off, telling you you had to catch him to hear it back. You’d chased him around the gardens and the libraries and balconies of the entire palace until you’d caught up, out of breath as you’d grabbed his cloak and pulled him towards you and kept him rooted to his spot until he returned the words.

He’d been hesitant, merely to tease you but he’d said them back, said them multiple times while he had kissed you all over, overjoyed by the sense of protection and love he felt with you.

He shook his head with a bitter laugh to himself at the bittersweet memory, seeing as how things were for you now.

He trudged his way back to the gates opening, kicking a rock aggressively all the way there, trying to contain himself enough to not scream out in anger the way he had been doing in his room. But every time he managed to calm himself, your smiling face found it’s way into his brain, making him lose all feelings not involving anger.

He kept trying to remind himself that it had been your choice, that you’d left him without a goodbye or anything of the sort on purpose to make the wound sting more but it did nothing but make him feel agony for the hurt he’d put you through.

And good for you it’s like you never even met me

Remember when you swore to god I was the only person who ever got you

Well screw that and screw you, you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

His rage was finally starting to blind him again as he marched to the gates, just how he liked it. The idea of you with another person was still what really set it off. Seeing you hurt but watching you thrive and move on was more, it was worse. It filled him with feelings he’d never thought he’d feel towards you in his life but he was and he didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would.

‘No one leaves a prince. Not unless they are absolutely crazy.’ He thought to himself smugly, waiting at the gates for Heimdall to open them. He gets pulled through, up to Asgard where he dusts off his smooth suit, relieved to finally be out of the disguise he’d chosen.

The smile on your face when he’d seen you with the Midgardians was glued to his brain, his focus flying all over the place at the memory. He couldn’t figure out quite what it was that was making him so agitated himself, knowing he missed you but suppressing the extent of it.

Asgard felt empty, superficial almost without you there to watch everything in such a natural awe that he’d so admired for so long. It was as though all the colours of the home he’d so cherished for so long were drained right down the gates when they’d opened and swallowed you whole.

He couldn’t bear that you’d managed to run off with not only his trust and dignity but his sanity along with it.

Pushing such thoughts to the back of his mind, Loki stormed back to his own room, avoiding yours at all costs as he forced his doors open, slamming them behind him and grabbing anything breakable in sight, tossing it at the balcony doors. If anyone had walked in they would’ve thought he’d truly lost his mind but to him, that much was at least somewhat true.

Maybe I’m too emotional

But your apathy’s like a wound in salt

Your deceit was controlling more of his life, his thoughts, his entire being than he’d ever care to admit. He was consumed with a need for you, a thirst to be near you again and everyone could see it was driving him to the edge of a cliff, the only possible person to pull him back up being the one pushing him to it in the first place. Still, he knew it was all his own doing. That was how he knew part of his latest insanity was due to the built up guilt from so long.

Even so, he was enraged. With you, with himself, with the world. It was a mix of everything.

He could almost feel the gentle touch of your hand to his shoulder when he was upset, your lips pressed sweetly to his temple in attempts to cool him off.

“You can’t hold pointless grudges all your life Loki. You can try but I’m not sure it would be any fun.” You’d teased, making him smile despite his sour mood.

He cried out, throwing another priceless item from his hand, crumbling to the ground yet again. The stress was eating away at him.

Maybe I’m too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

Thor heard the crashes and smashing coming from his brothers room and went running, pushing open the door with all his strength, his mouth agape as he was met with the sight of his brother screaming in agony.

“Brother, talk to me.” He commands, trying to stop Loki from throwing anything more. Loki thrashes against his brother, sobbing while he yells out, fighting his brother with all his might.

“Loki stop fighting me and tell me what is wrong!” Thor commands and Loki falls to the ground on his knees, exhaustion hitting him like a brick.

“I am fine. Everything is fine.” He murmurs, smiling at his brother easily. Thor shakes his head, not accepting the answer this time.

“Tell me.” He says again and Loki sighs, a hollow laugh choking out of his lips. He removes the spell he’d used, revealing his true self, in pyjamas, his hair an extreme mess, his face sunken in and pale, more so than usual. His eyes were bloodshot beyond belief.

Thor audibly gasped at the sight of his brother covered in his own blood, the shards of the glass having cut into his hands and his feet several times. Loki sinks in against the edge of the bed, looking up at his brother tiredly.

“There. Now you have seen the true me.” He mutters, not saying anything else as his mouth sets in a line.

Well good for you,

You look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

“Loki... I had no idea it was this bad brother.” Thor said quietly, sitting down awkwardly next to his brother on the floor. Loki quickly pushed away, not wanting to face anyone’s pity for even a moment.

“Leave me be brother, I keep this disgustingly weak display hidden for a reason.” Loki growled, avoiding his brothers eyes, staring at the broken glass laying at his feet.

Thor stands, not wanting to ignore Loki’s wishes and leaves him with his thoughts, his brows still furrowed in worry as he shuts the already busted door behind him gently.

Loki runs both of his hands through his mess of hair, squeezing as though to rid himself of the memories locked in place, taunting him on an endless loop.

“You can never get her/him/them back. Never ever.” They seemed to whisper in his mind, the sound of silence in the room only amplifying their nonexistent voices.

He smacked his head harshly, trying to push them out, trying to get back to the quiet while tears rolled down his cheeks, wondering once again why he had ever done anything so cruel to you as he had.

“I am so very sorry my darling.” He whispered into the emptiness softly, hugging his knees to his chest.

Never once had he ever felt so broken down or lonely in his existence, never once had he ever felt so much remorse mixed with anger as he did right then, knowing it was too late to even apologize in the first place. A part of him wondered if you felt anything regarding him at all anymore. A deeper part of him wondered how long it would be til you purposely forgot him entirely, all emotions about him disregarded just like that. And he knew if you did he had to live with the fact that he deserved every moment of it.

Good for you

You’re doing great out there without me, baby

Like a damn sociopath

Ignoring the blood drying on his hands and his feet, Loki went into the bathroom and splashed ice cold water onto his face, trying to get a more level head out of it. While the shiver it gave him did wake him up a bit, his mind was just as clouded, just as distracted.

He groaned, slamming his fists down on the edge of the sink, nearly cracking it with the strength used. Suddenly his room felt too solitary and confining. He put on his facade again, cloaking any form of injury or sadness with his powers. He walked into the gardens, nowhere else to stay away from others while not feeling claustrophobic, though sending him back in time for a mere moment.

“You know Loki, you ought to spend more time out here. These plants are so pretty. And the flowers all smell so good. How could you not just run away from everything in the world and hide out here from it?” You asked. He had chuckled, pulling you along the path and deeper through the enchanting maze of greenery until you had reached the bench.

“My mother took me here as a child. She said it was our place, for our escapes from reality. She told me to only show it to those I truly trusted or were truly enchanted with. You are both of those things to me y/n.” He had told you as he held you in his embrace, carefully picking a flower and handing it off to you, the first gift he’d ever given you.

He smiled slightly at the memory, thinking how ironic and poetic that he was now doing exactly as you had suggested that day and running from his responsibilities. He missed the way even the most mundane of things had been so easy for you to enjoy.

He laid in the grass, ignoring the stinging in his feet and the twinges of pain in his palms from his cuts, taking comfort in the memories he had. Those, he was thankful you couldn’t have taken with you. He felt pathetic. He felt weak and vulnerable and all the things he’d never wanted to feel in his life. And even worse, it was because of the one person he thought he could always count on to protect him from those terrible feelings.

He hummed absentmindedly to himself, feeling much more calm with the fresh air and sounds of nature rather than complete silence. He still didn’t feel quite like himself but he was unsure if he ever would again anyway. At least now he felt somewhat in control of his own mind.

I’ve lost my mind

I’ve spent the night

Crying on the floor of my bathroom

As he watched the sky, Loki thought of you, every mark, scar, line, feature of yours, drawing out your face in his mind, the most memorable moments with you playing like a film sequence. His smile fell a little as this day, his impromptu visit from earlier came to his mind.

Whether he was truly angry at you for leaving wasn’t the question anymore. Not really. The question had more so become whether you’d really loved him at all or if he had fooled himself into believing you did.

He silently decided on the latter, knowing you had too big a heart to ever put anyone through that level of hurt.

Still, he seethed with jealousy thinking of the boy who had been sitting the closest to you in the little coffee shop, the way he had looked at you the same way Loki always had. And it hadn’t seemed to him like you’d been too eager to pull away either, which only made it sting worse.

He closed his eyes in a small show of defeat to no one, knowing you were better off without him around to flip the world upside down for you. Deep, deep down he knew you needed a stability he wasn’t ready to provide yet, though he would never ever admit that to anyone, much less himself.

No, instead he missed holding what was his in his arms, making you feel safe and comfortable like he had for so many years. Anyone’s hands on you other than his made him feel a blind rage even on his best day and right then it was the worst day he’d ever faced, making the anger spread like wildfire through him.

The image stood at a standstill in his brain and he convinced himself that one way or another, he had to get you back to him.

But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it

But I guess good for you

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

———————————————————————

Tagging: @peachybaes , @wolfish-trickster and @writinguntilmyheartgivesout (thank you guys for the support on White horse, you have no idea how ecstatic they made me, my heart was very happy, I appreciate you, and all my other readers 💖💖)

[lokidrabbles]

Nightly Memoirs (Loki x Reader Oneshot)

Reader comforts Loki after he wakes up from a nightmare A/N: Oneshot story! I know this is a subject matter that is very popular with Loki fics, but it’s just a very good subject matter to write about, I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: Established relationship, nightmares, angst

Loki’s sudden flinching had woken you up late into the night. Your eyes fluttered open when you began to feel the perturbing shivering radiating from his body. You didn’t take it for much at first and guessed he was adjusting himself to feel a bit more comfortable in your bed. He had his back turned to you, preventing you from observing his facial features. You instinctively scooted closer against his back and allowed your eyes to drop heavily.

Once he let out a distressing sob, your eyes flew wide open. You perked your upper body, fixating your gaze onto him. Was that crying? You hesitated wanting to wake him up, still unfamiliar on how he’d react to it, but you began to notice more worrisome signs. His body began to twitch uncomfortably and you began to hear him murmur something soft between his lips. He remained quiet for a bit, but then let out another sob, this time more pained. His breath became shallow, with short huffs and puffs releasing from his nostrils.

“Loki.” You said, your voice still hoarse. You cleared your throat and attempted to call louder. “Loki. What’s wrong?”

He didn’t respond back and his body continued to shiver relentlessly. You panicked. This was completely unexpected and something you were unwillingly unprepared for. You had never observed Loki in such a vulnerable position. He always presented himself as such a determined, confident individual, even at his most reserved. There was always a bit of intimidation with him, a feature you had slowly melted off once you both grew closer together. But it was still him nonetheless. And now he laid here next to you, possibly in the middle of a horrible nightmare with no escape.

You bit your lip as you reached over to lay your palm on his forearm. You already had the situation played out and prepared yourself to be potentially flung across the room. After all, a defensive person such as Loki would be on high alert, even through this. You mustered your courage and gripped his arm, shaking him gently. He was freezing, startling you a little.

“Loki! Hey, wake up! You’re having a bad dream!” Your voice was much louder, worry covering every word.

Loki jolted upwards, clutching at the air in desperation, completely out of breath. He let out a pained groan as he placed his hand on his chest, taking in as much oxygen as possible. His eyes darted across the room until they finally caught your hand on his forearm. His mouth, still agape from inhaling harshly, trembled. He wasn’t able to make out any legible words. He was still scared, his mind possibly still trapped inside his nightmare. Your grip remained on him and you continued to feel the trail of shivers all over his cold skin.

You gulped. You were very scared and began to brainstorm what you could possibly say or do to ease the tension. He turned to look at you, and even in the soft light of your room, you could see his eyes were still filled with much fright. He appeared like a child, waiting for words or physical contact which could comfort him. The responsibility laid solely on you currently.

“Loki, it’s okay. Um. Were you having a nightmare?” Your voice became softer, with hopes that it would help decrease his trembling.

He remained quiet, his breath finally stabilizing. He placed a hand on top of yours, gripping it tightly. The shakiness remained, and even with him being fully awake, an intuition in you suggested you needed to do a little more for him.

“Hey, its okay.” You whispered, leaning in closer to him. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t real. You’re safe here with me.”

It was painful to see Loki in this state. He appeared even paler than before, his dark locks in a mess of tangles. You always pictured a dynamic where he would be the more protective one from the both of you, and he really was. Now, he was here, firmly holding onto your attention for his own sake. It didn’t depress your involvement with him, but motivated a feeling you could only convey as unconditional regard.

“Loki, come here.” You said and tugged at his forearm closer to you. He resisted at first, still stuck in whatever turmoil his mind had thrown at him. “Loki please. Come here closer to me.”

He let out a long, deep breath, and finally gave in. He allowed you to pull him closer to you and you purposefully lead his head to lay in the crook of your neck. Your arms circled around his neck and over his shoulders, and you pulled him in in a tight embrace. This allowed your hands with the liberty of stroking his head and his back gently, which had always soothed you personally when you experienced something similar.

You knew he wasn’t completely fine with this display and the stiffness all over his body was present. You admitted you were still lost on how to possibly comfort him or ground him back to the present. You simply couldn’t leave him in this state. So you figured whatever you could possibly do or say could work.

“Loki.” You began. “Do you remember the first day when we met?”

Unsurprisingly, he was quiet. You felt his breath warm your skin, motivating you to continue with your recollection of him.

“It was little over a year ago. You and Thor and just landed in from New Asgard. Tony was pretty apprehensive that day, he kept telling everyone he still had a hard time trusting you. I wasn’t really sure what to expect as I had never met you before. I think I was still checking my email or something during the time, but I had heard Thor being loud as ever which made me turn around. You were there with your brother, and my first thought was that you were a really, really tall person.”

You strokes became patterned, smoothing out his hair and gently massaging his back. Loki shifted slightly, bringing his hands up close to his chest. You continued with your story.

“You looked so different from your brother, but you both were surely acting like them. I don’t remember exactly what Thor had told me, but he called me over to introduce me to you. When I got up close to you, you appeared even taller than before. I gotta admit, it was a little scary at first. But once I heard your voice, I felt...calm.”

You giggled to yourself. Traveling back to this moment in time brought back some good feelings, ones you were still to naive about back then.

“And yeah, I thought you were gorgeous. I had never seen a man like you before. I guess I’ve been sort of smitten since the beginning. Everyone at the facility had given me the warnings about you, which did bring up some curiosity. Needless to say, I was surprised with how down-to-earth you presented.”

Your bedroom remained quiet for a minute. Loki’s breathing appeared to have matched yours, giving you an indication that maybe he was feeling a little better. His stiffness had gone away, and his skin felt much warmer than before. You felt this was the right moment to stop at your story, even though there was still much omitted for the sake of the situation. You felt your eyelids become heavy again and you hoped that whatever Loki had fought against had diminished for the rest of the night.

“You were wearing a black coat that day.” Loki’s voice was deep and low and you felt its vibration on the skin of your neck. “You looked very nice.”

Your eyes had closed, but the corners of your lips began to turn upward. “You remember that day?”

“Of course. You were the first person I was introduced to.”

You leaned your face downward to land several soft, tender kisses on his forehead. The unwavering instinct continued to motivate your actions, sending many messages of care to him. You felt Loki slink his arm across your waist, tugging at you to come even closer to him.

“I got you, my prince.”

[makbarnes]

Chapter 5

Turning over in your bed you tucked your face into a solid warm mass. Looking up you see Bucky was laying still next to you asleep. Feeling his arm tighten around you, Bucky lets out a little whine. Bucky had stayed most nights after learning how close Loki was to reaching you. Dating your best friend apparently had its perks. He had access to your phone number and where you lived, so Bucky took the opportunity to stay with you more. Even though there had been no attempts to contact you. But your nerves were everywhere, being cautious to not get Tatum upset and being vigilant about your surroundings. Kissing Bucky’s upper arm you felt him kiss your head.

“Let’s go back to sleep.” Bucky pulled you on top of him, sighing heavily and you buried your face into his neck.

“You and I both know we can’t do that. Tatum is always up within an hour of me being up.” Bucky grumbled in his throat a little while you tried to pull the covers off of you two. Feeling the cold metal arm wrap around you, you shivered a little and attempted to pull away from him.

“Bucky, I have to get up.” You put your hands behind him and pushed yourself off of the bed. Pulling down your tank top you walked toward the doorway and chewed your lip while winking at Bucky before moving into the main room. Bucky laid his head down and got up, pushing his mid length hair back. Leaning against the wall he smirked at you.

“Were you just teasing me?”

“Not at all.” You said smirking back at him while scooping some coffee into the pot. Bucky moved over to you and turned you to face him.

“I have to go shower and change. I’ll be back later.” Kissing you Bucky left your apartment and you smiled widely. Pressing the button on the coffee machine you pilfered around your kitchen trying to find something quick to eat before Tatum got up. Finding nothing you headed back to your room and made the bed before slipping on some jogging pants along with a regular T-shirt. Quietly checking on Tatum you heard your phone start to ring and hoped it wasn’t your firm calling you again. Rushing to your room you quickly pressed the answer and held it up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Are you still mad at me?” Felicity's voice cracked a little, knowing that she was either crying or about to cry.

“I guess not, I know how hard it is to resist Loki’s charms.”

“Yeah. Haha, I guess.”

“What’s wrong?” Felicity sniffled and you pushed back your hair.

“Nothing. Why?”

“Felicity, I know when you are crying. What is it?”

“I was just thinking and you know how my mind is. It goes places.” Felicity had struggled with depression and anxiety for six years. She had been placed in horrible ones, and after her mom's death three years ago, it had gotten worse. Her family kept bothering her about it so she dropped contact with them about a year ago. You two had lost touch but reconnected when you moved to Brooklyn and ran into her. You two knew everything about each other and could tell when the other was upset.

“Well, as long as you don’t bring Loki over here You can gladly come. I’m sure Tatum can cheer you right up.”

“I actually haven’t seen Loki since yesterday, he went out for a drink last night after I got home and hasn’t been back since.”

“He’ll turn up. But my offer still stands.”

“I have to do some things, can we reschedule?”

“Always do.” You heard a click and sat down your phone, hearing the coffee machine beep you headed back to the kitchen and poured yourself some coffee. Your hand was shaking more than usual at the news of Loki being somewhere and maybe being drunk at the same time. Drinking your coffee silently you went back to Tatum’s room and saw she was waking up.

____________________________________________________________________________

Later in the day Bucky and Tatum were playing on her little mat while you were fixing something for lunch. Tatum was laughing at Bucky’s voices he was making and you watched them bond. Hearing a small knock at the door you put down the knife you were chopping vegetables with and wiped your hands before heading over to the door. Smiling at Tatum you opened the door and felt your heart stop.

“Where is she?!” Loki screamed at you from the hallway.

“Bucky, take Tatum to her room…” Bucky picked her up on his hip and walked towards the door.

“Why?”

“Bucky, stay in her room with her…” Your voice was shaky and nervous around him. Bucky followed your order and swept Tatum off to her room. But not without Bucky seeing him.

“I don't know who that ignorant oaf of a man is, but if he knows what's best for him he will let go of my daughter. Now!” Loki pushed past you and headed toward Tatum’s room.

“Loki! Stop! That oaf is my boyfriend, he is not ignorant and he will not let her go. He is protecting her from your ass. You have no right to call her your daughter. You left us, Loki! Fucking left! I have raised her by myself for four years without you. Bucky has been a huge help for not only me but with Tatum. She adores him.” Your face red from shouting you had moved in between him and Tatum’s room. He backed away from you a little and you proceeded by moving forward, getting him as far away from Tatum’s room as possible.

“You would trust the princess of Asgard to a bionic freak show of a stranger more than you'd trust her with her own father? How the high and mighty have fallen...you aren't as righteous as you pretend to be are you, {Y/N}? Tatum deserves to know her birthright, she is above you both.” Clutching your fists together tightly you pushed back your hair before pacing a bit.

“I have not fallen, I am not pretending to be something I am not.I am still the same person that fell in love with you and had your child. She will know her birthright but only when she is old enough to understand what you did to me and her. Besides, it's not like you will ever be the king again, because the only way you were ever king was because your brother was banished. She is not above her own mother and she is not above Bucky either.” While you and Loki yelled at each other Bucky was cradling Tatum in his arms while she shook a little.

“Why is Mommy screaming? I don’t like it.” Tatum curled into Bucky more as her eyes started to tear up.

“Shh, She will stop soon.” Bucky looked down to see that Tatum had changed into the full blue color from last week. Shit… Bucky got up and set her in her bed.

“Do you want Mommy?” Tatum shook her head and Bucky dashed out of her room into the main room where you were with Loki.

“Watch who you're talking to, you vacuous excuse of a wench.” Loki’s hand went across your face, hard. Feeling blood rise to the surface you touched the spot before bringing your fingers down to see blood.You were about to react back before feeling Bucky grab your hand.

“Where is she?”

“In her room and you need to go to her now.” Your eyes went wide and rushed off leaving Bucky with Loki. Checking behind him Bucky approached Loki slowly. Gripping Loki’s throat with his metal arm, Bucky pushed him up against the wall.

“You ever touch her again, I will kill you without hesitation…”

“Eheh...you're just as bad, whoring around with something that belongs to me. I'm a god you mongrel, you and your scrap metal will never compare. Hit me if that makes you angry, but I won't be the only thing you hit when it's my name on her lips in the middle of the night.” Bucky was fueled with rage as he lifted Loki into the air and threw him onto the ground. Bucky picked up a knife from the table and held it against Loki’s throat.

“I will slit your throat right here. She belongs to nobody and she will never utter your name, unless it is while she is beating the shit out of you.” Bucky pressed the knife to his throat with more pressure letting it break the skin. While they had been duking it out in the main room you had Tatum in your arms trying to calm her down but it wasn’t working. She was sobbing into your shirt and you knew that having Bucky there along with you would make it better. Regretting your decision you held Tatum close to you and carried her softly down the hall. Peeking around the corner you saw Bucky let go of Loki and he touched his neck. Loki was about to jump on Bucky when you walked out with Tatum. Bucky rushed over to you and kissed your forehead, making sure Loki saw. Tatum’s eyes locked on Bucky’s and she tucked herself into your chest. Her whole body was still blue as ever and Loki’s face was pale.

“I think you need to leave now, Loki.”

“Oh I'm not going anywhere. Look at her...that is my heritage coursing through her veins. You have no idea how to properly care for a child this gifted, but I can help her. Teach her. She deserves to not live in fear the way I did, to not hate herself. I think being raised around her sibling will help, I will teach and raise both my heirs into the nobility they were born to be. Don't deny her that.” You looked at him in disgust.

“No, I know how to handle this Loki, She will embrace it and she won’t hate herself either. She is perfect and beautiful. It may be your heritage but she is my child, we gave you the chance to stay but you left. I can raise her perfectly fine after all she is my child and I have an amazing boyfriend to help me.” You handed Tatum over to Bucky and he rocked her while whispering calming things into her ear. You walked forward to Loki until he was backed into a wall, Taking his shoulder in your hands your breath hitched.

“But I will tell you this. If you leave Felicity with your child like you did me. You might need to find another realm to live in, Because you break her I break you.” Loki felt a little defeated, seeing how strong you had become from the last time you two spoke. As you went back to Tatum Bucky handed her to you and he walked over to the door, opening it.

“Get out…” Bucky gritted through his teeth while he pointed out into the hall. Loki stood in the doorway feeling a tear fill his eyes.

“{Y/N}..”

“Go away.” You uttered silently before going into your bedroom cuddling Tatum. By this point she had calmed enough to make half of herself change back, while the other was still blue. Hearing Bucky shut the door and lock it he came over to you and examined your cut. Bucky went to your bathroom and grabbed a small first aid kit, coming back and sitting next to you. Wincing at the cleaning wipe you cuddled Tatum closer to you. Bucky wiped a small tear that was wiping down your face.

“If you start crying, Tatum will get more upset.” Bucky finished cleansing to wound and put a small bandaid on it. You laid down on your neat bed and he moved himself next to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. Smiling down at Tatum you kissed her head while she clung to you.

“I have to call Felicity…”

“It can wait.” Bucky kissed behind your ear and you scooted into him. This was only the beginning of Loki wanting Tatum as his own.

NEXT CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

[fanficshiddles]

Caught in his web, Chapter 44

‘You can’t be serious!’

‘I am deadly serious.’ Loki nodded. ‘Now come on, be a good girl, get on the bed and spread your legs.’

Chloe gulped. She had been excited at first when Loki said he was taking her out for dinner, but what he failed to mentioned beforehand was that he had something planned for her to wear during it...

A butt plug.

‘Loki… Please no.’ She whined.

Loki raised an eyebrow at her, looking at her with a look that she knew meant she would be in trouble if she didn’t do as she was told.

‘Don’t make me bend you over my lap and spank you first, doll. Because you know I will do so. And that will make you very uncomfortable during dinner. This is going in your ass one way or another, so I suggest you do it the easy way. It will be better on you.’ He growled low.

Chloe swallowed hard and on shaky legs she went over to her bed and lay down. Loki grabbed her ankles and scooted her down to the end of it so her ass was hanging off. He flipped her dress right up out of the way.

‘Pull your legs up and hold them back.’ Loki said, tapping her knee.

‘You’re such an asshole.’ She hissed at him as she did what he said.

Loki just grinned at her insult and proceeded to pour plenty of lube over the butt plug. It was silicone, dark green of course. It was quite thin at the top then slowly got wider, then it rounded off nicely to a thin neck-like shape before then a large flared, flat, base to remain on the outside.

‘Keep a nice hold of your legs, and relax.’ He hummed, pushing her knickers to the side just enough for him to get access.

She sucked in harshly when she felt his finger prodding around there, lubed up and pushing in to prepare her.

‘I said relax, doll.’

‘I’m trying!’ She snapped at him.

That earned her a quick slap on the cunt, making her yelp and she tried closing her legs but Loki pinched her inner thigh. ‘Don’t you dare.’ He growled.

She groaned and kept her legs open, cursing him in her mind.

Loki slid his finger back inside her puckered hole, wiggling it about until she relaxed a bit. Then he added a second finger and waited until she was relaxed again.

‘That’s it, good girl.’ He purred, removing his fingers.

She whined and wriggled a little when he pressed the tip of the plug against her and slowly started to push in. Loki went slowly, sliding it further and further until it was in completely. He tapped the end of it once in, making her body jolt.

‘There we go.’ He grinned and rubbed her legs. ‘Not so bad, is it?’

Chloe let go of her legs and groaned at the strange sensation inside her. Loki grabbed her hands and helped her to sit up, making her squeak in the process.

‘How am I supposed to sit through dinner with this up my ass?’ She whined.

Loki chuckled and gripped her chin, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. ‘You’ll do it because I’ve told you to. The rewards will be worth it.’ He winked at her.

Chloe wasn’t so convinced though.

Even just walking downstairs and out to the car felt weird. Loki just looked smug as he helped her into the car and told Nelson where to take them. Chloe was in a bit of a huff, folding her arms over her chest she just stared out the window as they drove.

Loki allowed her this little temper tantrum. He knew she would soon change her tune…

She already perked up a little when she found he had taken her to her favourite Thai food restaurant. Being the ever gentleman, he opened the door for her and tucked her chair in at the table.

When he sat down, Chloe noticed he had a slight smirk playing at the side of his lips. Like he was trying to contain a bigger one or a laugh. She could tell by the twinkling in his eyes, too, that he was up to something. Or was planning something.

‘What?’ She asked, narrowing her eyes at him across the table.

‘What?’ He countered.

‘You know what!’ Chloe sneered, but was briefly distracted when the waiter came and took their drinks order.

‘I have no idea what you are talking about, doll.’ He grinned at her and looked down at the menu.

But Chloe wasn’t buying it. He was up to something for sure.

She was soon distracted with the wine that was ordered and the casual chit chat with Loki. Also the starters that soon arrived, she almost demolished the lot herself because she was so hungry.

About to take the last forkful, the fork suddenly clattered down to her plate as she almost leaped out of her seat in surprise. Her face was an absolute picture when she glared over at Loki and gripped the edge of the table as the butt plug buzzed to life inside her.

The biggest, most wicked, grin spread across Loki’s face.

‘L… Loki… Turn it off.’ She hissed quietly, nervously glancing around to make sure no one was looking or listening.

‘Now why would I do that, doll?’ Loki raised both hands up over the table and clasped them together, leaning forward a bit.

‘I’m going to the bathroom.’ Chloe decided and slid her chair back.

Loki raised an eyebrow at her. ‘You take it out and there will be hell to pay when we get home.’ He growled in warning.

Chloe closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and pulled her chair in again. The vibrations were rather intense, it was pleasurable in a way, but not as nice as if it had been elsewhere.

‘Good girl.’ Loki purred when she settled again. Or the best she could with a vibrating plug up her ass.

‘I hate you.’ She grumbled and finished the last of her starter, glaring at him in the process.

‘I thought you loved me?’ Loki asked, giving her puppy dog eyes.

She rolled her eyes and put down her cutlery once she was finished. ‘It’s a love-hate thing going on right now.’ She huffed and sat back, trying to get into a comfier position. But no matter how she sat, it didn’t ease the pressure inside of her.

Loki gave her a little bit of leeway when their main course arrived. He turned it down to the lowest setting. A gentle hum more than anything, just reminding her constantly that it was there.

By the time they’d finished dinner, she actually found herself feeling really aroused. She’d even turned down dessert because she was wanting to get home as soon as possible.

‘Perhaps we could go for some drinks, or a leisurely walk along the riverside?’ Loki suggested as he helped her with her coat, the plug was turned up to medium in the process making Chloe’s legs buckle, but Loki caught her to steady her.

‘Can we just go home? Please?’ Chloe asked, slightly breathless as she clutched his arm tightly. To anyone looking on it would just look like Chloe was deeply in love with him. Not the fact she was desperate for him to just bend her over the table and fuck her.

‘Just so you can remove our little toy?’ Loki raised an eyebrow.

‘N… No… So you can fuck me!’ She whispered. Her answer surprised Loki, but made his cock twitch.

He circled his arm around her middle and guided her out of the restaurant. As they reached the car, he turned the butt plug up high, making Chloe cry out and fall into him. He chuckled and bundled her into the car.

As soon as they got in, he had Nelson close the back seat off so they had privacy. The door was barely shut before Loki pounced on Chloe, draping her across the back seat.

He bundled her dress up in a rush and simply tore her knickers off instead of removing them in one piece. He tapped on the butt plug, making her yelp. It was still vibrating nicely inside of her. He grinned wickedly up at her and then slid his fingers through her folds, discovering she was nice and wet.

‘I think you’ve been lying to me, doll. Putting up such a fuss about this in the first place when you’re absolutely soaking.’ He teased over her clit, making her whine as she put her head back and closed her eyes.

‘I should lay you over my knee and punish you for objecting so much.’ He growled, warning. But he was too aroused himself, he didn’t want to wait.

He did as minimal removing of his own clothes as possible, just releasing his cock. He forced her legs wider apart and she reached up to put her hands against the door, giving herself some leverage for what she had a feeling would be a thorough fucking.

Loki shifted over her and pressed himself into her, the both of them moaned in delight when he sank deep into her. Loki caught his breath when he felt the vibrations of the plug through her and her cunt felt tighter too, being double penetrated.

Garbled noises were coming from Chloe as Loki fucked her deep and slow, eventually gaining some pace. He knew it would be a different kind of pleasure for her, having something of a decent size up her ass at the same time as his cock inside her.

It was a good job she had her hands flat on the door, because when Loki picked up the pace he was rocking into her so hard that she would’ve hit her head otherwise.

The both of them were so close to cumming, when suddenly Nelson had to break hard and they went tumbling onto the floor. Luckily for Chloe she landed on top of Loki. He grunted as his back hit the floor, but it also made his cock lodge further inside of her making them both yelp.

‘NELSON!’ Loki roared and banged on the divider.

‘Sorry, boss! Idiot cyclist on front of us.’ Nelson said through the speaker.

Loki groaned, but then he noticed Chloe was struggling to contain her laughter as she hid her face down against his chest. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he thrust up into her, abruptly halting her laughter and replacing it with moans once more.

[sigyn-obsessed]

The Perfect Gift (Loki x Sigyn)

“Is it worrisome that the boys haven’t exhibited any abilities yet?” Muttered Sigyn as she laid back in bed, an old spell book rested on her lap. She was wearing a simple blush nightgown that fell over her shoulders. She sighed as she rubbed her forehead. The boys were almost five now, and neither had shown any signs of abilities. Fenrir and Hel had shown signs as early as two.

“They’ll display their abilities when they’re ready. Everyone’s different.” Loki laid in bed next to her, a hand running through her hair. They had moved to Vanaheim after Thanos’ defeat. Thor had continued to live in New Asgard, while Loki desired somewhere familiar. He remembered how beautiful Vanaheim was, especially in the winter when bright snow was covering the ground. They had lived there for a while, when the boys were babies, in a cabin Sigyn lived in when she was younger with her mother and sisters.

The cabin was much smaller than anything Loki had lived in, but the palace had always been a shallow home. There was never any love around the palace. They all kept to themselves. All Loki remembered was the times he was yelled at or scolded by Odin, the snide remarks echoing off the gold walls. When he made it to the cabin in Vanaheim, it felt like home. Sigyn’s sisters lived nearby, and the village was full of accepting and loving people. They didn’t have royalty. While some still slipped and referred to him as Prince Loki, he was known in town as simply, Loki. People weren’t afraid of him or scared of what he had done. He was known as Sigyn’s husband.

He helped those around town with spells. There were a few children in town who had exhibited magic, so Loki came and taught them necessary spells and ways to control their magic. Sigyn had created a luscious garden behind their house, and often gave out some of the veggies and fruits they grew to neighbors. For once in Loki’s life, he finally felt accepted.

Now they had two five-year-old boys and a six-month-old baby named Ragna, born after Thanos’ defeat. Her named symbolized so much. Loki was surprised that he had survived Ragnarok, and she was a little reminder of how strong he and Sigyn were. They survived what they shouldn’t have. Of course, they both had scars. Loki continually had issues with his neck, and there was still a thick purple scar on his neck from Thanos’ grip. He had deep red scars across his body from Thanos’ torture. Sigyn had small cuts on the side of her face, and a few dark marks on her back.

They had survived though. Which brought them back to the topic at hand, raising their children. That was their main concern now. All the children Loki had trained had all exhibited powers by the time they were three. The boys were five, and still nothing had happened. Sigyn’s worrying mind went straight to the bad, that something was wrong with them or that Odin had cursed them to live a mortal life just to punish Loki and Sigyn.

“I didn’t exhibit full powers until I was almost six. Just because the other kids are doesn’t mean the boys are behind. They’re just not ready yet.” Loki mumbled as Sigyn laid against him, his hand still stroking her curly blonde hair. It wasn’t often that they could lay together and talk like this. “Sooner or later it will happen. Nothing is wrong.” Sigyn nodded and closed her eyes, hoping her anxiety would cease in the morning.

It wasn’t until about a week later that a ‘magical incident’, as Sigyn liked to call it, happened. Loki was sitting on the floor, bouncing their little girl as she smiled and giggled. Sigyn would do anything to be able to stop time and keep him this happy. Keep him this joyful of life and their kids. He hadn’t been having nightmares as often. The boys could tell when it happened though. The candles in the kitchen would often wake them up, and both Sigyn and Loki could hear the small pitter patter of their feet as they would stand in the doorway, usually asking if daddy was okay. It broke Sigyn’s heart, but she knew that simple favors like the boys asking if he was alright showed Loki all the support he had. Since Ragna was born, the nightmares had happened only about twice, since both were too exhausted most times to even think.

Sigyn stood in the kitchen, admiring Loki playing with Ragna. She was just beginning to crawl, which they both remembered as a hectic time with the boys. The boys were running outside. Vali had brought a picture book out to read under his favorite tree, while Narvi was most likely searching for snakes, Sigyn’s least favorite of his past times. Suddenly the door flew open.

“Mommy, daddy look look!” Yelled Vali as she ran inside, grabbing his mom’s hand, pulling her outside. Loki leapt up, following behind with Ragna held tightly in his arms. Both had no clue what was happening until they look at the measly garden they had planted when the boys were babies. The colorful flowers had died a few years ago, after a rather harsh winter on Vanaheim.

They couldn’t believe their eyes. The once dead flowers were brightly in bloom, ranging from reds to blues to yellows. There were roses and daisies and tulips. It was magnificent.

“Who did this?” Mumbled Sigyn as she held onto Loki’s arm. The boys stayed silent, Narvi looking down and Vali fidgeting with his hands.

“No one’s in trouble.” Sigyn took Ragna from his arms, as he knelt on the boys’ level. “Whoever did this is extremely talented, and we’re extremely proud.” The boys nodded as Narvi spoke up.

“I’ve been working on this for a while. When I touch the flowers, they get better.” Narvi looked up at Loki, a smile on his chubby little face. In that moment, he looked like a mini version of Loki as a child, straight black hair and a pale face. The only exception was his bright blue eyes. Loki would have loved to be able to talk to his father the way Narvi did, without fear.

“Vali and I worked on it. Each flower means something.” Narvi explained, excited. “It has everyone’s favorite colors. I hope you like it. Vali told me what these colors mean. Mommy likes pink, so there’s pink daisies right there, and they represent compassion. Mommy always accepts my apologies when I bring snakes in.”

Sigyn smiled as she ruffled his hair, walking through the garden, bouncing Ragna who was trying to grab onto every flower in sight. Narvi was giving them a tour.

“These are lilacs, and they’re purple for Ragna. They represent peace. When she sleeps, she’s peaceful and looks cute. The green bushes represent daddy, because he only wears green.” Loki scowled.

“I wear more than green.” He mumbled. Sigyn shook her head and patted him on the back, holding onto his bicep. He was wearing a green tunic, which Narvi was true about. He only wore green. Narvi had him beat there.

“There’s blue for Vali, and represents wisdom, and I think Vali is really smart. Lastly, yellow represents me because its positive and I’m a ball of sunshine.” Sigyn smiled as she led the boys into the house, tousling their hair. They couldn’t have been prouder. They sat the boys down in the living room.

“Why didn’t you tell us when you started to exhibit powers? That can be scary to do alone.” Questioned Sigyn, sitting next to them.

“We weren’t scared. I have earth powers, and Vali has more of daddy’s powers.” Sigyn and Loki stopped. Loki’s powers? That could be anything, illusions, shapeshifting, teleportation.

“What powers exactly?” Asked Loki, kneeling in front of the boys. Sigyn stared intently at Vali, giving what some Midgardians called ‘the look.’

“Cloning.” He said quietly. Sigyn and Loki looked at each other in shock. Cloning had taken Loki years to master. Had his son taught himself to clone by the age of five? If so, these boys would be much more magically skilled than Loki or Sigyn.

“I would make it look like Narvi was running around and I was reading so you wouldn’t worry why we were working on the garden. So, it could stay a surprise.” While Sigyn was still shocked how the boys were so talented without proper education. Sigyn felt pride swelling inside her.

“While that is extremely scary, and you should not do that. I am still proud of you. Your magic is extremely amazing and magnificent. Mommy and daddy are extremely proud of you.” The boys looked over at both their parents before launching themselves into hugs. Ragna had been put to bed. Sigyn and Loki grabbed the boys and hugged them tightly. The boys pulled back and ran to their rooms in delight. Sigyn and Loki stood up together, her holding onto his shoulder as she noticed the small tears in his eyes.

She turned to him, wiping the tears from his cheeks. She knew the feeling he was having. It was a good feeling. A feeling of giving your kids what you didn’t have. Loving parents, helping and caring for you, rather than scolding you or bullying you. They had everything Loki never had, and he was proud.

“You are truly the best father.” She whispered to him, holding him closely, kissing his cheek. She felt him shake, crying into her hair as she rubbed his back. “You make me so happy daily. You have given me such beautiful children and I love you so much.” He pulled her into a kiss, holding her to his chest. She gently held his face, her hands slowly making way to his hair. Suddenly they heard a yell.

“Ew stop. That’s gross.” Muttered Narvi as he walked to the kitchen, Vali trailing behind. They were both shaking their heads. Loki chuckled as he rolled his eyes. Sigyn had to hide her face in Loki’s chest because she was crying laughing.

“Get over here.” Sigyn grabbed the boys, tickling them. Loki stood, watching the scene before him. His boys laughing, Sigyn smiling and happy. Loki realized that finally, he was given a happy ending.

[bluebellhairpin]

As We Can

Thor Odinson X Immortal!Reader

A/N: Am I doing another self-projection fic? Yes. Do I want to get the point across that I love you, no matter what you look like, and I will help you take care of yourself? Hell yes. Some of my closest companions are on the chunky side. I would kill for them. - Nemo

Warning(s): Idk but there’s a hell of a lot of talk about self-worth, and hence self-love. So talk about Insecurities, character Death (very brief - Loki hoes might cry), Angst, but also a buttload of f l u f f ! 

Summary: We all need to give ourselves some care sometimes. Thor is one of those people, so you give him a little help - and sometimes that comes in a many few different ways; words, music, flower crowns. 

Masterlist  

[Gif was a Google find since Tumblr tags don’t have the representation. Creds to the maker, we love your work!] 

Saying you’d lived for a long time was the understatement of the century. 

You’d lived through too many natural disasters to count - Mount Vesuvius one of the more memorable of such disasters - plus hundreds of wars, and as many ‘collenizations’ of ‘new worlds’ to poke a stick at - not to mention the sicknesses that passed by as well. 

By now you were pretty damn tired of it all. 

But then, on top of everything, you could add something that had never happened before. In much more recent years, Earth had taken to being invaded by aliens. The first and most obvious was that of the Chitauri in New York. The most recent was Thanos and his Army in Upstate New York. 

By this point in your life, you’d started to become ‘exposed’. As most immortals do, over time you showed up in different photographs and paintings over the years, and with access to anything from one place - a.k.a the internet - some started to put things together. 

You even had your own online conspiracy club. You were proud of that. 

While it didn’t exactly bother you, you could see it causing some problems in the future - especially if you showed up in more places more often. So you made a decision. You needed to get off Earth. 

Luckily, timing then had you neatly close to Tønsberg, having watched the events of Thanos’ newest attack on the news in your hotel room in Oslo, you fast-tracked your journey there - to ‘New Asgard' - forward a week. 

There you sought out Thor, and through him a passage off into space. 

__________

Days, if not weeks passed - honest to god by now you couldn’t tell the difference - and while he was in no way the worst person to hang around, Thor was acting off. 

You’d never met him before your of-hand trip to space, but you had seen him on the news, online, and in papers. He was nothing like he was then, now. 

If you’d learn one thing in your age-less life it was that everyone needs a cause, a purpose. You’d spent the last three-hundred years - at least - devoting yourself to different causes, including the two World Wars, and it was clear to you that Thor currently did not have one.

So you decided to help him find it. 

Naturally you started with the subtle things. Being on a ship full of delinquents, also known as ex-space criminals, subtlety wasn’t always the best bet if you wanted something. Especially when it came to Drax. Hints went over his head like a frisbee in a hurricane - but you figured Thor wouldn’t be that… Unwittingly ignorant. 

By the time a couple days passed you had your answer. 

He was that unwittingly ignorant.

You didn't know how anyone else felt, but you knew it went a bit deeper than what others might’ve thought.  __________

“Thor, may I pull you aside for a moment?” you asked, appearing behind the Asgardian as the ship floated lazily through space outside. 

He jumped slightly, completely unaware of his surroundings, but nodded in agreement once he saw it was ‘just you’. Luckily no one else was around this part of the ship, either opting to rest or oversee Peter up in the cockpit. 

You fiddled with your sleeve, eyeing Thor as he settled in one of the seats across the room. You decided then and there to not beat around.

“Are you okay?” His eyes snapped up to yours, being me with your ever-so-slight scowl. 

“Am I okay?” he asked, scoffing out a laugh, “I am fine, why? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

You turned your head, taking a couple steps forward. 

“I can tell if you are, or if you aren’t.” He rolled his eyes at that, crossing his arms and pulling up his guard. “Do you remember what I told you, back on earth when I asked to come with you here?” you asked softer, gesturing to the ship and the stars outside.

He grumbled, rubbing at his eye and ruffling his hair before staring at you expectantly.

“I promised I could help.” 

“Look at you, how the hell could you help?”

“I am almost two thousand years old, Thor Odinson. If I know anything it’s how to help you.” He kept his eyes on you, watching as you dragged a chair out and sat in front of him. You took in a deep breath, searching his body language for any signs that meant he didn’t want you to continue.

“Are you really that old?” he asked, leaning towards you slightly.

“Aye, that I am,” you nodded, “Was born in Ancient Rome. The first notable event I lived though was when I was about ten, word spread around about that volcano erupting - not that we knew what it was back then.” you smiled little at the memory, looking down at your hands sadly. 

Apparently he wasn’t too bad a reading body language either. 

“No one else was like you, though - being able to live forever. Were they?” You shook your head no, and he hummed. “Maybe then we could help each other?” 

“Sure thing Sparky.”  ___________

You’d been working together with Thor for a good couple months, and in between searching for Gamora with the Guardians, and - in your opinion - hopelessly looking for Loki too, you thought Thor was doing much better.

He was less recluse, took care of himself a little more, and backed off Peter’s leadership a little (the latter may have been barely noticeable). Even if those things all came under your urging, you still counted them as steps forward. 

Anything positive, no matter how small, was still positive.

“(y/n)!” Thor boomed, rattling you from your bunk in the ship, “Are you ‘Holding out for a Hero’?” 

Nebula and Mantis poked their heads out from the bunk above you, ceasing their game of Paper Football to watch for your reply. You rolled your eyes, sliding off your comfy spot to lumber out to Thor.

“Pardon?” Thor cleared his throat as he held out Peter’s Zune. 

“This song speaks of a hero. Do you need one?” You took the player from Thor, scrunching up your nose at the 80’s song. 

“Not currently, but if I do you’d be the first person I’d call for, you can count on that.” you said, scrolling through the song list, looking for a song you preferred more. You missed the proud grin that reached Thor’s face. 

“There,” you pressed ‘Hold the Line’, and tried shooing him off so you could get back to your cozy corner, “Try that one Sparky.” 

“Much thanks.” He said, turning off with the device in his hands. You made it back to the doorway and watched him go.

Thank goodness Peter wasn’t here, otherwise he would’ve snatched that thing from Thor even before he got hold of it. __________

The planet you’d stopped on to replenish supplies was one of the most Earth-Like ones you’d seen since you left Earth. The only major difference was the inhabitant’s fashion choices, and the large array of flowers - they were literally everywhere.

If Rocket hadn’t  latched onto Groot’s shoulder the moment they stepped off-ship, you’d probably have lost the humanoid among the greenery.

“Great Zeus.” You breathed, slight disbelief at the sheer amount of flowers. 

“Who is ‘Great Zeus’?” Mantis asked, you cast a glance back at her.

“Um, basically him,” you pointed at Thor, “But much older, and more horny.” 

“You are going to be more horny when you are older,” Drax said, clapping Thor on the shoulder, “Congratulations!” 

“I meant a -” you stopped yourself, snickering, “- Nevermind.” You step off into the crowds and mazes of flowers, not waiting for Thor - your ‘Supply Buddy’ - to catch up. It never took him long anyway.

“Is Zeus one of your ‘Roman Gods’?” Thor asked, sidling up beside you as you maneuvered around the crowds.

“Nope. Zeus is Greek. In Roman his name is Jupiter.” 

“And in Norse he is Thor.” he said. You looked up at him, cracking a smile. 

“Mhm, I think I prefer Thor over Jupiter or Zeus though.” you said, eyeing a patch of flowers that was inhabited by a small crowd - and they were making flower crowns. 

Thor had no choice but to follow you as you made yourself comfortable among the multi coloured blooms - distracted and off task as ever. But he made no effort to join you, standing off to the side instead. 

You eyed him as you pulled a few flowers into your hand, weaving them together in the same way you remember your mother doing a hundred lifetimes ago. Patting the spot next to you, you grinned.

“Come over here Sparky.” you said, flicking your eyes down to the flower patch to pick a few more. “I need to make sure this fits.” 

You weren’t taking a no. The nickname you gave him in itself spoke volumes. 

He came over, slumping down beside you in the sunlight. You made quick work of the flowers, tying them together neatly before laying it atop Thor’s half pulled-away hair. It fit perfectly. 

“A crown fit for a king, I’d say.” 

“Pity I’m not much of a king.” he said, reaching a hand up to play with some of the petals.

“‘Ζώμεν γαρ ού ως θέλομεν, αλλ’ ως δυνάμεθα’.” you blurted, not once breaking your stare at Thor. His eyes widened, then moved to looking very confused, so you translated. “‘We live, not as we wish to, but as we can’. A Greek Dramatist said that. It was one of the few phrases we knew it greek, and our father taught it to us. He always implored us to do our own best, not the best anyone else can do.” 

All the while you explained, you weaved together another crown, one slightly smaller than the first, yet still almost identical. Tying it off, you sat it on your own head.

“Our best can sometimes be a lot, or a little even if we wish it to be a lot. But it doesn’t matter. Our best is still our best.” Thor looked between your crown, and your eyes. 

“I don’t think it’s that easy.” 

“Because it takes practice.” you plucked another flower, this time sticking it in his beard. “No one gets everything right the first time. Yet everyone does do their best at the time of their first time. Accepting that they did their best - that’s what they struggle with.” 

You poked in more flowers into his beard - your words seemed to plunge him into deep thought - he made no effort  to stop you, if he even noticed. 

After a time, he looked down at your hands, still piling flowers into his flower-filled beard, and smiled lightly.

“How about you make some for the other Asguardians of the Galaxy.” 

“Flower crowns?”

“Yes,” he grinned, “Your best ones.”

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

@badthingshappenbingo

So, it's time! After forever, I finally managed to fill my first prompt!

We got...pinned by wreckage, with some lovely ✨ Siblings ✨!

Time for Loki, and today you'll all get to know his younger brother too.

Also, you all are absolutely free to request something, a prompt with or without some specific...dynamic, if you will! I take forever to make decisions by myself, sooo,,, yes!

Fandom: Original work

Prompt: Pinned by wreckage

No. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was bad, this was so bad. He whimpered as he pulled his arm out underneath a jagged piece of metal, tearing through his sleeve and leaving long, bloody marks that were sure to stay. Though, that was the last thing he'd have to worry about now.

Loki's attempts to prop himself up and push off the rubble laying atop him that was keeping him pinned to the floor, making his breaths each involuntarily shallow and painful, so painful, were cut short as he just didn't find the strength to push himself up, not even an inch, before his arms buckled under the weight again. Tears blocking his vision, blurring what was left after his glasses had been knocked off his face and a few feet away almost entirely beyond recognition, a choked sob escaped him.

What he tried, he couldn't get rid of the weight on his back, he couldn't free himself of the rubble keeping his legs trapped and unable to move - if he could move them anymore at all, at this point. Calling the lack of pain, the lack of general feeling below his hips frightening would be an understatement - it was excruciating.

The dust that was slowly settling to the ground was tickling, itching in his throat, his lungs, aggravating the shudders that ran through him as he tried everything to keep himself from crying out - his chest had no space to rise after all, he'd suffocate from not getting enough air, he was sure of that.

And yet, all his attempts were not enough - a cough he couldn't keep anymore rippled through him, another one, his throat was burning, the pressure on his chest getting more and getting heavier and more tears were running down his cheeks and falling to the ground where they mixed with the dust and he cried out and he couldn't breathe there was no space anymore he couldn't move he couldn't breathe-

The repulsing, metallic taste of blood filled his mouth, and he spit out, droplets trickling down the corners of his mouth - Did he bite his lip, his tongue in his fury? Did he bite his lip, or did it come from further down, from where he could just assume that something must've been so badly damaged? It didn't matter now - What mattered anymore? There was blood running down his chin, there were bricks on top of him, there was not enough air for him-

The faint shimmer of lights shining through the piles of rubble and dust in the air before him slowly started fading. His coughs subsided, left was his pathetically small, weak form, shuddering violently and panting shallowly against the ground below and the rubble on top.

There was no way out of this anymore.

He couldn't move.

Couldn't breathe.

Closing his eyes, he lay his head down. No one was coming for him. Not fast enough. He wanted nothing more than to be back in Mikkel's arms once more - Than to make up with Egill again - Than to argue with Lucia over the consequences of being careless with fire just one more time.

Just one more time, please.

Something was wrong. So, so wrong. Egill winced as his mind would not let him rest, kept him nervously fidgeting with the handle of the knife he kept in his pocket, his eye scanning everyone passing nearby, every corner he could catch from where he was sitting on a bench a near the town square. Where was Loki? Surely he should have passed here by now on his way to his favorite cafe, as he did regularly - not to get actual coffee, but just for the sake of the cookies they sold there. The big ones, chocolate dough with white chocolate chips and cinnamon frosting. Every time the same order, no exceptions so far.

Before he realized it, he was up on his feet again, heading away from the town square, his phone in hand. A few taps on his screen, taps he could execute blindly by now, and after just few seconds, a location popped up. A tiny smile found its way to his lips - after all his complaining, Loki still hadn't gotten around to remember turning his phone's location services off.

He was just going to check on him, make sure he hadn't gotten in trouble again - as a good little brother did. Or so he thought. There was no way for him to know. There was no way for anyone to know - anyone, except Loki himself.

A sinking feeling grew in Egill's stomach as he followed the streets further out of town, to where there were only fields anymore, only fields and the occasional long abandoned home. He could easily figure what Loki was doing out here, for he had never been much of a person for nature if it wasn't for that one particular cause, that one thing he could not control - though the lack of rising smoke wherever he looked only made the feeling worse, and the awful suspicions in his mind grow and become more by the second.

That was, until he once more checked the location in his phone. He froze, his breath catching in his throat, then ran. If his thoughts were running crazy earlier, they were now sprinting a marathon of insanity.

His hopes that this was all a mistake, that his phone must have been wrong, that this was all a false alarm were quickly crushed the closer he got to the wreckage of what once was an almost luxorious manor, where now only few walls managed to stay up, the rest little more than a massive heap of dust and debris.

"Loki!" Egill's voice rose significantly in pitch, cracking halfway through that single word. The closer he got, the bigger did the lump in his throat grow.

This couldn't be happening.

He didn't hesitate, stumbled right into the ruins - not caring about how jagged edges caught in his jeans, scratched up his shins, cut up his hand as he climbed atop of a pile, hoping to be able to see what, or rather who he was looking for.

"Loki, p-please! Are you here somewhere?" No answer.

While his worry was growing - if he was here, then it could be a matter of minutes anymore, who knew how long he had been here already after all - if it wasn't too late already - there was also a sense of...relief. He didn't find him yet. What if it was a mistake after all? Maybe he wasn't here at all. Maybe he was here earlier, but fled and just lost his phone. Maybe he was standing outside, laughing his ass off about how stirred up Egill was, how his mind went crazy at the thought of him losing his oh so precious older brother.

Maybe-

Something caught his eye. It took barely a second for him to register. Fabric. Red fabric. Red fabric, stained and soaked in something dark.

Something dark, staining not only the fabric, but also the ground.

"...no- NO!" Panic rising in his stomach once more, panic he hadn't felt before, Egill dashed over pieces of stone and metal - just to come to an abrupt stop before his brother, who was laying limply, arms tucked under his head as if trying to find the last bit of comfort one could possibly find here. Horrified at the sight, he dropped to his knees, ignoring the little and the less little stones pricking through his jeans. Egill gently took the other's face in his hands, desperately looking for any sign that he was going to wake up again.

"B-Big brother- Please-! Answer me!"

As expected, there was no response. He tried calling out once more, then again, again, though it was drowned out by his own sobbing. Every bit of hope he had left previously was gone, his life in shatters before him.

He couldn't help himself falling to the ground, head pressed against Loki's shoulder, hands curled into his shirt in a deathgrip. Unable to form any more proper words, he kept on sobbing, babbling apologies, tears soaking the shirt he was nuzzled up against.

He promised he'd never let him get hurt again. He promised, he swore it - and yet, here they were, and there was nothing he could do.

He failed. He failed again. He failed so badly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, s-so sorry!"

Tears continued to spill, until -

until a tiny, almost unnoticeable movement let him flinch.

"...you...you little stalker...found me again…"

His eyes widened, and he looked down. "B- Big brother-?"

Pale blue eyes fluttered open, and for half a second, Egill thought he found something resembling a smile on Loki's lips.

"Y-you're okay! I thought- I thought I lost you- Hey! No, stay w-with me!"

Reaching for his phone, Egill barely managed to get his shaking under control far enough to be able to finally call for much needed help, all while not letting his gaze wander off the broken form before him for just a split second. As gently as his jittering hands would allow, he ran his hand across the side of his brother's face - wincing as he brushed over one of the scars that always seemed to bother him more than Loki himself -, through his hair that now had little left of how it looked before - the once bright, red strands matted by dust into a grey, knotted mess - and to his arm, down to his hand he grabbed tightly, in a desperate attempt to get him back to consciousness, and keep him there.

"Come on, you have to say something! Say something, you can't- You can't just give up! H-help is almost here, okay?! We- We'll get you out of this! But please- Please say something, say anything!"

It took moments, so many moments, before something came. It weren't words however - just the feeling of his hand being gently squeezed in return. It wasn't a lot, and yet so overwhelmingly much.

"Okay! Okay, good! Good, just- just don't let go! Don't let go again, I'll stay with you, and- and you just don't let go!"

Shifting closer, the other arm wrapped around his shoulders, Egill rested his head just next to Loki's - if he did so, he was faintly able to make out the slow, yet continuous heartbeat, the shallow, raspy breathing, giving him this one last, tiny sense of safety. He could make it. He knew it.

He knew it when he felt Loki shift a tiny bit himself, weakly melting into the embrace instead of fighting against it. And he was sure when Loki refused to let go, even when people started crowding and fussing, instead just giving once another small squeeze, accompanied by a moment in which Egill could now tell more of his old, genuine smile again.

Yes, he would make it, no doubt about that. Somehow, he always did.

Always.

[occasionalfics]

touch every star (2)

main masterlist | thor masterlist | ao3 | previous | next

Pairing: Thor X Cinderella!Reader AU

A/N: To those who are reading, thank you! I’m so glad y’all are liking this 💖 Feel free to comment and message me with thoughts if you’d like!

Warnings: Lots of angst, a really, really shitty boss, but overall this is probably the most pure fic I’ve ever written?

Words: 2,643

//

You’re cordially invited to Stark Industries’ Annual Christmas Extravaganza/Charity Gala. Donations optional, but appreciated.

She stared at the email, blinking mindlessly at it for at least three minutes. She’d never been invited to one of these galas before - she figured it was because she was just a secretary and couldn’t afford to make a donation for a charity gala.

But this year, she was on the list. She checked the addresses and CCs and, yup, this email had been personally sent to her. Personally - but most likely from an automated system. Still, hers was the only email listed to be sent to. Someone had put her email in there on purpose (or maybe an accident, but still...she was invited).

She wondered what she’d wear. She didn’t have anything black tie, didn’t have time or money to go shopping. Maybe Nat would have something. Or Wanda, but more than likely, Nat.

She couldn’t go, though. Could she? A secretary from the Accounting offices? Did she mean anything? Enough to be invited to the holiday gala?

Apparently, yes. She knew Nat and Wanda would insist on her going. Her two best friends were kind of like her fairy godmothers. They watched out for her whenever she needed them, encouraged her whenever she felt unsure or insecure, and promised to help her wherever they could. She’d done the same for them, but she was far less well off than they were.

After all, Nat was literally a model and Wanda was making a name for herself as a successful up and coming photographer. Y/N was just a secretary.

As if to remind her of that fact, Jasper Sitwell was suddenly standing in front of her desk. He cleared his throat and glared down at her, one eyebrow raised over the thick rim of his glasses.

“Are you going to sit there motionless all day or are you going to get to work?” he asked.

Man, she hated him. But he’d drilled into her head that he could ruin her with a simple few words. He’d told her nothing if not that he was in charge of her while she was on the clock, and if she didn’t do everything he asked, she’d be out on the street before she could make it to the lobby.

She moved immediately, picking up the papers from the night before to sort through them. “Sorry, Mr. Sitwell,” she muttered, starting piles across her desk for different people throughout the office.

“I saw you stayed late last night,” he said, a little less abrasive but just as cool. “Got everything done?”

She nodded. “Yes, Mr. Sitwell.”

“Good.” She looked up at him in time to see him pull out two sheets of paper, which he placed in her inbound box on the corner of her desk. “I want all of this finished on time today.” With that, he walked into his office without so much as a second glance.

She sighed. The list from yesterday had been one page, single spaced, and it had still taken her almost twelve hours to complete. She’d skipped taking a lunch break and ate while she’d worked, too.

She could only imagine how long this list would take. But first, she still had to sort through the papers from last night and deliver them correctly.

---

Thor had taken bits of pieces of his conversation with Frigga to heart. Just the parts that weren’t directly set up to make him feel guilty for having a high-energy, fast-paced job.

He knew he had to take care of himself. Better care, anyway. He knew he couldn’t sustain twelve and thirteen-hour workdays forever. And, as annoying as Frigga’s nagging about him starting a family was, he did want to start a family. 

He wanted a partner he could come home to, in all senses of the word. Someone kind and generous, that he could care for as much as they cared for him. A true partner. As much as he respected his parents’ relationship, he didn’t want what they had. He wanted something better.

And as he thought on that, his mind drifted to the girl from last night. It was silly of him to imagine her in that spot, given he literally didn’t even know her name, but he couldn’t help himself. Thor’d always been something of a Romantic - even in his college Frat years, he’d imagined a future with a real human, whereas most of his Brothers just wanted easy lays and Trophy Wives.

Loki had always poked his side for stuff like that. But Loki was Loki, and it was hard to know exactly what his idea of a perfect home might be one day.

Thor was thinking of that girl when Tony Stark himself made an appearance in his office. Normally, Tony called people to him, not the other way around, but they both knew Thor was a special circumstance. They were part of a little group of directors and executives - friends, really - so it wasn’t so much of a surprise to Thor that Tony was interrupting his daydream with a pristine white envelope.

“Most people got invites through their email, so appreciate my efforts to come down here. But this year, thanks to Steve, everyone is invited.”

Thor smiled and took the envelope, and despite knowing what was inside, opened it. The annual holiday gala was always a charity event, so usually it was their little group and the board of directors mingling with some celebrities and the like. People with lots of money. Not because Tony didn’t appreciate every one of his employees, really, though Thor didn’t know why this was the first year everyone in the company was included.

“I think that’s a good thing,” Thor said. “Steve’s got some good ideas, you know.”

Tony completely ignored that. He perched himself on one of the chairs facing Thor’s desk and, in his cool and unaffected tone, asked, “So you gonna bring someone? It’s a masquerade this year, you know. Gotta bring a hot date and lose her in the crowd or...some such nonsense.”

He laughed at that, but shook his head. “You know I’m not seeing anyone this year.”

“Oh good because, with so many new people there, you’ll be just single enough to pick someone up.” 

“You’re as bad as my mother,” Thor said. “Did you know that?”

Tony gave him one of those half-smiles, like he’d expected Thor to say as much. “You’re not the first to say so, believe it or not. That I sound like your mother.”

They laughed together, and it took Thor a moment to realize how long it’d been since he’d seen his friends. Too long. They were all busy people but they all worked at the same company, for the same man who was in their group and sitting directly across from him at that very moment.

A gala would be nice. And maybe Tony was right.

After all, if everyone was invited, maybe Elevator Girl would show up. The only problem was that he didn’t know anything about her except that she worked on his floor and that he could recall what she looked like. A mask - kind of required for a masquerade - would make it that much harder for him to find her.

Tony sighed. “Anyway. I’m sure you’re busy - what’d you call it? - ‘protecting our asses’ and all, so I’ll leave you to it. Maybe one day this week we’ll do lunch.” His eyebrows rose expectantly, and Thor hesitantly nodded.

“Maybe.”

“I’ll have my people call your people.”

And with that, he was gone.

---

She managed to finish before six, but well after five. The list was complete - thankfully, most of the tasks Sitwell had left were short or easy to do - and the office was empty, so she sighed and slipped her heels off. The blisters were worse today, but she’d thought ahead and brought a pair of plain flats to change into for the walk/ride home.

As she came up to the elevator, she couldn’t help but look from one end of the hall to the other. There were more people around than the night before, but not the man she was looking for.

The man from last night.

Y/N knew she shouldn’t be thinking about him. She didn’t know anything about him, other than he took the elevator from her floor. Once.

But he’d been nice last night, and he hadn’t done anything at all to warrant her running. If anything, she wanted to be able to apologize for scampering away like a deer in headlights because it hadn’t been polite. Even if she didn’t owe him an explanation, she wanted the chance to give one anyway.

He didn’t show, though. She figured he’d already gone home or something, because the elevator doors opened and no one stepped out onto her floor or anything. The four people already on the elevator looked at her expectantly, so she got on and turned to face the doors without a word.

No one attempted conversation. Hardly anyone moved. Two more people squeezed in before they hit the lobby, then everyone rushed out and onto the street.

Her ride home was just as lonely. No one on MTA ever stopped to talk, except the buskers and musicians that, at least tonight, avoided her car. 

She shouldn’t have taken it personally. No one ever talked to her on the subway because it was New York - everyone kept to themselves and that was how the city worked. She’d never thought twice about it, but something about missing that man - the dashingly handsome man she’d spent all of ten minutes with tops - made her feel heavy as she stepped up onto the street again.

She bit her tongue as she turned a corner to head up her block. She wasn’t going to cry. She couldn’t. It was stupid to cry over nothing like this. If she were upset about Sitwell or something, she’d let herself do it, but right now she was sad about...nothing at all. A missed opportunity.

She knew what would make her feel better. Her mind drifted to the email from this morning. Maybe it was silly, but the reminder of that invitation did make her feel better. Had her walking taller, shoulders back, teeth biting into her bottom lip to keep from smiling.

Oh, she wanted to go to the gala. Donation or no, she was determined. Maybe she’d meet the man from the elevator again, or maybe she’d met the Tony Stark. She’d read the email back six times over the day, so she knew full well that it was a masquerade, but she was still excited.

So excited that Nat could tell something was up the second she stepped through the door. And Nat, being relentless and stubborn, managed to convince Y/N to sit on the couch and spill all the details she had in absolutely no time.

“Holy shit,” Nat said when she’d finished. “You never get invited to Stark parties!”

“I mean, I’m not on the board or an heiress or anything so I get it,” she responded, shrugging. “Some of my coworkers think it’s basically an open invitation this year.”

“And it’s a masquerade!” Nat practically squealed, which made Y/N even more excited than she already had been.

Y/N nodded, the tiniest bit of embarrassment seeping into her joy. She cleared her throat before she said, “I, uh. Kinda need help finding something to wear.”

Nat stood up so quickly she nearly toppled over. But she was lithe and graceful - a former dancer - so she caught herself quickly and turned toward her bedroom.

“Where’re you going?” Y/N asked, trying to follow with her eyes.

“Getting my bag and shoes - we’re going shopping!”

Wanda appeared at that. She asked what all the noise was about, and before Y/N could even attempt to resist or refuse, Nat was back and informed her of everything. Between the two of them, Y/N knew there was no way she’d get out of this.

Nat texted someone as she headed for the door. She sent the message, then looked up at Y/N with a smirk and nodded for Wanda to join them.

“Where’re you going?” Y/N asked.

“We,” Nat answered. “And it’s not even eight. Most stores are still open, but I’ve got an in at one in particular.”

---

“I don’t know,” she murmured, moving the skirt around. “It seems like a lot.”

“Babe, you’re going to a black tie charity gala,” Wanda said. “It’s all gonna be a lot.”

She looked at her reflection and sighed for the millionth time. The dress was gorgeous, she couldn’t deny it. Deep cut and embellished, the soft material flowed around her in light floral patterns and it all made her feel…

Well, she knew what she should feel. She should see her reflection and think Princess, but that had never described her. Nat and Wanda were the only ones in her life that looked at her and saw more than she did, so it didn’t surprise her that they liked the dress.

And she liked it, too. Loved it, actually. The dress itself was amazing, but on her… She couldn’t help but think she was dragging it down. Or, as a consultant on Say Yes to the Dress might say, the dress was wearing her, not the other way around.

“You look hot,” Nat said, standing to walk around the stool Y/N was perched on. “This color is perfect for your skin tone and I have a headband that would go so well.”

“I need a mask,” she responded. She said it like...like it was an excuse not to buy this dress. As if a mask couldn’t be found or made to match it.

Her friends, however, were not going to let her leave empty handed. And they both loved this dress. The last two had gotten nods of approval, but not like this. Not warranting both Nat and Wanda standing at her sides, watching the mirror with her, both moving the skirt around with smiles.

“I’ll take care of the mask,” Wanda said. “You should get this dress.”

“I’m only gonna wear it once-”

“Or we can find you another event to wear it to. Or one of us will wear it next.”

“Exactly,” Nat said. “So, really, what’re you scared of?”

“The price-”

“We’ll help.” Wanda smiled softly, and before Y/N could attempt to deny the offer, she held a hand up. “We want to help. Besides, if we put in some money that gives us more incentive to want to wear the dress so we can all get a use out of it, right?”

“It’s too nice for me.”

“That’s just a blatant lie,” Nat said. “Y/N, you look fucking amazing. We should all get this dress. You’ll just be the first one to wear it.”

She did have to admit to herself that that sounded...fair. Maybe not conventional, but fair. Fair enough that she could hold herself a little higher, stretch her neck a little longer and really see what her friends were seeing. Once she stopped questioning whether she was worthy of such a dress and just enjoyed being in it, she could see herself walking into the gala in it, the hem flowing around her heels as all eyes turned on her. No one would know who she was unless they worked with her, and even then, she’d be wearing a mask.

She’d look mysterious. Pretty. Sexy, even.

Like Nat, who’d have to have the dress taken in a little after Y/N and Wanda wore it, but she probably knew people for that, too.

“So?” Wanda asked.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

[imagine-loki]

Predator to Prey, Chapter 3

TITLE: Predator to Prey CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 3 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki lives in exile on Midgard in a forest, he can’t leave the boundary. But every night when the sun goes down he turns into his Jotun form until the sun rises again. He meets a wolf one day and befriends her, gains her trust. But the wolf is no ordinary wolf… RATING: M

After Loki had captured his sacrifice for the night, he carried her back to the cottage.

The wolf was still hanging around, curious about what was going on. But she was hanging back, staying by the warmth of the fire. She watched as Loki carried the girl kicking and screaming inside.

But the wolf didn’t move from where she lay, her ears were pricked and she listened to the noises that came from the small cottage. Screams, pleas, moans – from both the girl and Loki.

While the wolf was a little intrigued, she stayed put where she was.

-

In the early hours of the morning, Loki saw the girl out. As most of them did, she ran off as quickly as possible.

He smirked as he leaned against the door, he looked over to the fire and noticed the wolf was still lying there, curled up in a ball because the fire had gone out.

Frowning, he slowly made his way over. The wolf sat up suddenly at his presence, looking at him with curiosity over his blue skin.

Loki crouched down to her level. ‘You can come inside you know, if you want somewhere warm to sleep.’

The wolf lowered her head and lay down again, as if telling him that she was staying there. Loki sighed and stood up, he pointed to the fire and used his Seidr to light it again. Then he tossed on a couple more logs that would keep it going till morning.

The wolf looked satisfied with that and let out a big sigh. Loki went back inside, but left the door open for her. Just in-case she changed her mind.

But later in the morning when Loki’s form was back to normal, he noticed the wolf had disappeared. He did wonder where her den was, if she had a pack or was alone. If there were more wolves like her…

The next few days went similar, the wolf continued to visit each afternoon and Loki noticed she liked to spend the night there now, by the fire. So Loki made sure to keep it going for her.

When Loki received his next sacrifice, the wolf was once again by the fire while he courted the girl inside. 

-

Loki had pinned the girl to the wall by the neck and was scaring the life out of her as he fingered her roughly, making her cry and beg for him to stop because he was being too rough. When Loki momentarily let go of her, she made a run for it.

She ran out of the bedroom towards the door, which Loki left open in-case the wolf wanted to come in, but the girl skidded to a halt on the wooden floorboards because standing in the doorway was the magnificent wolf. Looking incredibly intimidating as she made the cottage look tiny from her mere presence there.

The wolf lowered her head and started snarling at the girl. The girl started backing up, but she backed right into a firm object, that object being a cold Jotun Loki.

Loki chuckled wickedly and leaned down, she could feel his cold breath across her neck. Making her shiver even more than she already was in fear. ‘Don’t make any sudden movements, or she will pounce.’ Loki purred softly.

The wolf took a step, widening her stance and making it look like she was preparing to do just that.

‘P… please…. Call her off.’ The girl whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

‘Oh, darling. I can’t do that. You see, she’s not mine. She’s a free spirit. But you can either come back into the bedroom like a good girl, or take your chances trying to get past her.’ Loki said as he then strolled back into the bedroom.

The girl’s heart was pounding as the wolf kept snarling, eyeing her up. The girl then decided to take her chances with Loki instead and bolted back into the bedroom.

Instead of going back outside, the wolf just lay down by the door. It was warmer inside, even with the door open. And the rug was comfier than the hard ground, too.

A few hours later, the girl came out of the bedroom, her clothes torn and hanging off her. She went to leave but stopped in the middle of the room because the wolf was sleeping right by the door. Loki watched from the bedroom with a smirk as he folded his arms over his chest, wondering what she was going to do to get past the big bad wolf.

The poor girl slowly tiptoed towards the door, she was just passing the wolf when she suddenly snapped towards her ankles, making the girl scream as she ran out the door, not looking back.

Loki threw his head back with laughter. The wolf stood up and stretched, then went to leave.

‘Wait.’ Loki called out, the wolf stopped and looked round at him. ‘You don’t have to leave, you can stay inside. It’s nice having some company.’ He added with a shrug.

The wolf looked outside, it was a chillier night, then she looked back at Loki. She made her decision and lay down again just at the side of the door. Making Loki smile.

‘Let me just make an adjustment, so I can shut the door and keep heat in. But so you can open it whenever you like.’ Loki said and made his way over towards the door. The wolf just watched from where she lay, she was getting more used to him being close to her.

Loki flicked his wrist towards the door, making the handle into a different shape that would be easier for the wolf to open with her mouth.

‘Is that ok?’ He asked.

She looked at the handle and flicked her head up once, which Loki had come to learn meant yes.

He smiled. ‘Good. I’ll see you in the morning, if you’re still here I’ll cook you some breakfast.’ He said as he went off into his bedroom.

The wolf watched him disappear, then lay her head down and closed her eyes for a good sleep.

-

When Loki got up, he found the wolf had moved and was now lying flat out on her side on front of the fire place. He smiled, glad that she felt comfortable enough to lie like that and to come further into the cottage.

As he took out pots and pans to make breakfast, it startled the wolf who had been in a deep sleep, she jumped up with a snarl, slightly disorientated. Loki just paused and looked over at her with an eyebrow up while she had her slight snarling tantrum. Then she looked at Loki and calmed again, remembering he wasn’t a threat.

‘Hungry?’ He asked, putting on bacon, eggs and sausages. Suspecting she would like whatever he cooked anyway.

The wolf licking her lips was enough of an answer for him.

As he cooked the food, the wolf went over to the door and opened it easily thanks to Loki’s slight handle modification. He raised an eyebrow when she disappeared outside. But she returned rather promptly and kicked the door closed with her back foot, making him chuckle.

‘A dog that can let herself out to the toilet.’ He said with a grin.

The wolf growled at him as she sat down nearby to watch. He looked over and laughed.

‘Sorry, don’t like being called a dog?’

The wolf growled again in confirmation.

‘Noted.’ He nodded.

He filled a plate of food for the wolf and put it on the floor for her next to the table. Then he sat down with his own. While he was munching on some toast, he looked at the wolf. ‘I’m guessing you don’t have a pack?’

The wolf licked the plate clean before sitting down and looking at Loki. She wiped her mouth with her paw and then just stared at him.

‘I don’t have a family. Not really, anyway. I was adopted when I was a kid, told a lie my entire life and brought up to fear what I was. I was told that the Jotuns were monsters.’ Loki sighed and looked at his hand, turning it blue momentarily. He noticed the wolf look at his hand then back to his face.

‘I don’t know what you are, truly, because you’re no ordinary wolf. You’re intelligent, more intelligent than the average one, I mean. If you do have a loving pack out there, you’re lucky.’ Loki wasn’t sure why he was opening up to the wolf like he was, there was just something about her.

Having her company was nice. Even just having her around was oddly calming. She was certainly making his usual boring day to day life more interesting… 

Which is why he was rather disappointed when she disappeared mid-day and didn’t come back.

That night, she still didn’t return.

Loki was hopeful she might make an appearance the next day, but there was no sign of her at all.

[mostfacinorous]

Stoki Whumptober Day 26: If you thought the head trauma was bad... [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25]

When Loki roused again, it was not for supper, as Steve had promised, but rather late into the next day. 

He quickly checked himself for the stone, then sat up, marveling at the darkness that existed inside of a room without electric lights or magic to show the way. 

Speaking of, he lifted his hand and flicked his wrist, creating a tiny witch light to better see his way to the restroom with-- and immediately panicked. 

He could feel the power-- it was there, in his hand, and he was holding it. He banished it and tried it again. 

“Everything okay?” A voice asked, and Loki extinguished the flame, jolting with shock before recognizing it as Steve’s. 

“Steve?” He asked, nearly hyperventilating now. 

“What is it, Loki?” Steve was at his side in an instant, one hand settling between Loki’s shoulder blades. 

“I can’t see anything-- I--” Loki lifted his hand to his own face and waved it around, able to feel the air in front of him being disturbed, but not see the motion itself. 

Steve sucked in a shocked breath. 

“Okay, okay, it’s alright, let’s figure this out. Maybe it’s like your voice-- your vision was blurry and messed up yesterday, right?” 

Loki nodded, unable to find words. 

“Okay, deep breaths. I’m not gonna leave you alone, we’ll figure this out, and if you can’t heal yourself, we’ll just have to get you to someone who can, okay?” 

Loki did his best to try and relax. He needed to be calm before he tried anything like using seidhr on himself.

And then he remembered why he’d been trying to get up in the first place. 

“Steve… I need to use the restroom.” He hated this, hated feeling so vulnerable and intimately dependent. 

“Okay, sure, no problem. They’ve got outhouses here, so we’re gonna have to get you up, put some shoes back on you. Here we go, just swing your legs off the bed, I’ll get the shoes.” 

Loki let himself be coaxed into a seated position and tried not to panic or cry while Steve gently got him dressed. The concentrated effort of schooling his face at least distracted him until Steve finished with that, and stood.

“Alright. You ready to go?” 

Loki, without thinking, just shook his head no. “Sorry-- context. Is it day or night, are there people about, do they know you, do they expect me to speak…?” 

“It’s the middle of the night, no one should be up, and the last they saw of you, you were passing out in the street. No one will think twice of me helping you to the privy. Promise.” 

Loki exhaled shakily. 

“Alright. Only remember I cannot see-- if anyone is around, please address them. And if there is anything in my path.”

“I’ve got you.” Steve promised, and took Loki’s hands in his. “Up we get.” 

Loki had forgotten that Steve was nearly as strong as an Asgardian, but was pleasantly reminded when his legs initially refused to bear his weight, and Steve caught him against his chest. 

Loki righted himself, however, and refused to consider swooning like a maiden just to get further time with Steve’s arms around him. 

He had a feeling, right now, that all he needed do was ask-- or cry-- and it would happen on its own. And he had more pressing matters to attend to. 

Steve led him through the house, careful to tell him where they were each time they entered a new room, and to warn him of steps down into the rear yard of the house, across the yard and then--

Loki smelled the latrine before they reached it, and must have made a face, because Steve laughed a little.

“I know. But I promise, the seat itself is kept nice and clean. The ladies would revolt otherwise.” 

Loki let Steve lead him up and into the outhouse, then sensed when he faltered. 

“I think I can manage not to piss myself.” He said lightly. “This much I have done in the dark before.” 

Steve didn’t say anything, but Loki assumed he nodded before backing off, and he waited til he heard the door closing before dropping trou and seating himself like a child and relieving his poor bladder. 

Finished, he stood redressed, and opened the door. 

Steve instantly put up a hand and guided Loki down the stairs without complaint. 

“Thank you.” Loki said quietly, as they made their way back into the house. “For all of this… it is… I cannot imagine it would be so easy with anyone else.”

Steve snorted. “No, but then, you might’ve made it back already without me, so. Thank you.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“I think… we should consider making all the rest of the jump in a single bound. I worry how much more I will fall apart in several small leaps, and at least if we make it back, you will have ample help to get me… sorted.” 

He meant healed, but the honest truth was, Loki wasn’t entirely sure he would survive another tango with the stone. 

Steve paused, Loki running into him as a result.

“That doesn’t seem like it’d be a good idea for you.” Steve pointed out. “Maybe we should wait til we get back to our room to discuss it.” 

Loki shrugged. 

“Okay, look, nearly there now, just through here.” Steve started moving again, and Loki followed. 

Once they were inside of the room, door closed securely, and Loki seated on the bed again, Steve heaved a sigh. 

“Okay, so explain to me-- the pros and cons here. Pro, we’d be back, you’d be able to get better help. Cons, whatever it’s doing to you, I assume it’d be bigger and worse?”

“I don’t know.” Loki answered gamely. “It’s got… I wouldn’t say a mind of its own so much as a will of its own. And I didn’t have a terrible reaction to jumping all the way back as far as we were. It’s possible it wants a greater power expenditure, and that my meddling and attempting to control it as I’ve been doing is what’s causing these… setbacks.” 

“Okay…” Steve said slowly. “What’s the other possibility?” 

Loki pursed his lips.

“I suppose in the opposite side of the spectrum… the power razes through me, and I get burned out. It destroys my ability to use seidhr at all, and we become lost at some point in time, potentially far into the future, if I lose control of it mid jump.”

“Oh.” Steve said faintly. “So no risk, then.” His words sounded strangled as he fought to restrain himself. 

Loki heard him kneel beside the bed, and felt him take Loki’s hand in his. 

“No.” Steve said. “We take this slow. We let you heal, however long you need, and then we go a little further. We have time, right? All the time in the world, that’s what the stone means.”

“We have access to all the time in the world.” Loki corrected gently, moving one hand to close over the top of Steve’s. “You and I are getting older, a day at a time. We will already return, if everything works perfectly, as different people than who we were, mere moments after we leave.” 

“That’s fine. It would’ve happened anyway.” Steve could be stubborn when he wanted, Loki had to give him that much. 

“And what if this takes more than a day or two to heal?” Loki asked. “What if we are waiting months between jumps? What if we return to your friends and your hair has gone grey and your face creased with age?” 

Steve squeezed Loki’s hand. 

“What other option do we have? Because losing you isn’t an option.” 

Loki shook his head. 

“Let me see what I can manage, as far as healing is concerned. We will discuss and attempt to make plans from there.” 

“Okay.” Steve agreed. “But I mean it-- nothing that puts you any more at risk than you have to be.” 

Loki huffed and leveraged himself back into a reclined position, leaving his shoes on. 

He heard Steve retreat, and then heard him sit down on something that sounded suspiciously wooden. 

“Steve…” He asked slowly, “What were you sleeping on before I woke you?” 

Steve cleared his throat, and Loki stood, hands out before him, to follow the sound to its source. It wasn’t a large room, and he located the bench with ease and distaste. 

“Unacceptable.” He announced. 

Steve huffed. “There’s only the one bed, Loki, and I don’t think we’ll both fit.” 

“We both fit in a snow shelter not much larger than a coffin, Steve. I think we can manage.” 

“I guess I can’t really argue that. But don’t you need some room, for your healing?” 

“Healing is internal, Steve. Come to bed.” 

Once they had managed to settle themselves, laying on their sides and with Steve’s arms wrapped around Loki, helping to hold him on the bed, Loki closed his eyes and focused inwards. 

He almost laughed, but didn’t want to startle Steve too much. 

He was blinded. But it seemed he’d done it to himself. No doubt the migraine from before had been light sensitive, and in his stupor, he’d made himself completely not sensitive to light. 

He removed it and sighed, glad for that. 

“Will you be okay?” Steve asked, voice directly behind him and his breath stirring the small hairs on Loki’s neck. 

“I will be. I already am.” Loki answered. 

He felt Steve burrow his face into the back of Loki’s shoulder, and couldn’t help but wonder if any of this would still be there in the morning… and beyond, when they returned, would Steve still touch him, hold him, speak kindly to him… or would he create a new distance? 

His friends would be suspicious, of course. Probably none moreso than Barnes. 

Maybe it was better to end it now, get it over with before Loki could grow too comfortable, too hopeful. 

They were going back to their time the next day, Loki decided. Whether Steve liked it or not.

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader - Anesthetic

Long fic! - Please comment

Based loosely on “Imagine Loki’s reaction when you go in for surgery and your parent/friend gives you a plushie of him because he’s been called away on critical business. When you are on anesthesia, you’re so excited to see Loki is there and gush over the plushie, even giving him kisses. Your supervisor videotapes you.“ except also not

Also Christmas time

-

'Are you sure you'll be fine, kiddo?' Tony asked, lowering his voice.

'Seriously, kiddo?' You sighed, rolling your eyes and punching him gently.

Tony winced, rubbing the spot. 'I mean it.'

'We're basically friends, Tony, Loki and I get along swell.'

'Yea, but it's Christmas. You sure you don't wanna hitch a ride to Malibu with me and Potts?'

'Third wheeling, yea, sounds fun.' You coughed and shook your head, 'Besides, I'm still feeling a little under the weather. I'm just going to teach him the true meaning of Christmas movie bingewatching and Chinese take out and I'm sure I can throw together a half decent dinner for two.'

'You're going to make him help, right?' Tony asked.

You laughed, 'Of course, he's not useless you know. Honestly, Tony, you know he only puts the spoiled prince act around you, right? You expect nothing of him and act like he's worthless so he allows you to think that of him.'

'That sonuva...'

'Don't insult his mother, she's sounds really sweet from what he's said.'

'I was going for his dad, I've heard stories.' Tony smirked.

'Get going.' You rolled your eyes, fighting back another series of coughs.

'You sure you don't need to get that cough checked out?' Tony asked.

'It's just a little flu bug.' You assured him, waving him towards the door. 'Get going, seriously, we'll be fine.'

Tony huffed, 'Fine, but seriously, first sign of trouble. Ironman will be right here.'

'I got it, I got it.' You tightened your blanket around yourself, shuffling back to the elevator and rising back to the main floor.

The elevator doors opened and you stepped out, still wrapped tightly in your blanket, as you looked out, stepping out and looking towards the massive circular couch facing the floor to ceiling television. Loki sat in his spot, lounging and reading his book as a movie played in the background.

'Has Stark left?' Loki asked, glancing up as you reappeared.

'Yep, just the two of us now.' You replied, slumping onto the couch in your usual place and laying there for a moment, huddled in place. Sweat beads pearled on your brow and you wiped at them absently, pulling off your blanket.

Loki looked across the couch at you.

How long had it been, you wondered, the movies were on a loop, set to play by themselves. Nausea roiled in your stomach.

Loki was standing over top you, his cool hand pressed to your forehead. You sighed in relief.

Loki's eyes darkened, 'You're very warm.'

You blinked up at him, 'What?'

'Why are you so warm?'

You felt your cheeks flush for entirely different reasons, 'What do you mean?'

Loki frowned. 'Are you ill?'

The room was spinning and you felt a sudden sharp pain in your side. Gasping you grasped at your side and cringed, curling into the fetal position as you moaned.

'I'll take that as a yes.'

''M fine.' You tried to gasp, but it came out as a staggered moan.

'You don't seem fine.' Loki muttered.

'Friday, what's wrong with her?'

'Running rudimentary diagnostics now...' The AI replied.

'Don't scan me!' You tried to shout back, but your protests were cut off with another cry of pain.

Loki gripped your forehead and held you flat on the couch so you couldn't squirm as much.

You moaned, tears starting to stream down your face.

'Shh, hush now, just a moment longer, love, it'll be just a moment, easy now.' Loki murmured soothingly, stroking your brow gently.

You hiccuped, slowly unclenching your teeth and nodding as your body relaxed at Loki's touch.

'Diagnostics complete. Patient shows signs of appendicitis. Diagnosis severe, response urgent.' Friday announced.

'Appendicitis?' You squeaked.

Loki looked down at you, 'Inflammation of the appendix?' He blinked, 'Appendix. Surely you have nirnroot?'

'What?' Your body spasmed again, once more returning to a fetal position at the pain.

Loki removed his hand from your hip, allowing you to return to the comfortable position so you could best handle your pain. Though he kept his other cool hand on your forehead soothing your fever.

'Is that not how humans treat appendicitis?' Loki asked.

'Uh, no, we just cut it out. The appendix isn't strictly vital for basic survival so when it acts up we just chop it out.'

'Barbaric.' Loki muttered shaking his head.

'Well do you have this magic,' You shuddered at the pain, then clenched your teeth and tried to continue, 'nirnroot?'

'No, it's quite common on Asgard, I didn't think to just...' Loki sighed, and slowly shook his head, 'How do we get you to one of your human healers?'

'I don't think I can walk.'

'I'm certainly not going to make you in this condition.'

You hesitated. A pregnant pause filling there before finally saying, 'Uber?'

-

Loki scooped you into his arms, carrying you bridal style to the elevator. You watched as a shimmer of magic enveloped him and he was dressed in a green scarf and a long black suit jacket that you could vaguely tell hung past his waist, perhaps by his knees. It was difficult to tell from being carried in his arms. Loki had tucked you blanket back around you in his arms, despite your protests of being too warm. He insisted since it was snowing out and only a day or two before Christmas that you shouldn't make yourself sicker being out in the could without some sort of protection. Loki of course was dressed in a suit and tie, as though he had just rushed home from work at a law firm or some CEO or, you shook your head listing off the white collar job he looked like he held as he carried his sick wife out to the Uber.

Your blush deepened as you considered the fact that you looked the part of the sick wife.

When really you were an Avenger and he was a Norse god laying low in Tony Stark's tower, binge watching various Christmas and winter holiday movies on your break.

Your Uber driver barely raised an eyebrow when the two of you hurried out from The Stark Tower, it's not like you were Tony Stark, or any of the main Avengers, you were just some side people. Carefully keeping a low profile.

Sliding into the backseat, Loki settled you in on one side and belted you in, before settling himself in on the other side. You could see the driver, Lars – the app said – glancing back curiously as you would cry out in pain from time to time.

'So uh, hospital I take it?' He laughed nervously.

You laughed weakly, settling yourself in place and wrapping your blanket tighter around yourself as you looked over at Loki who was finally settling himself in. 'Yep, that's where we're going.' You cried out again, clenching your side.

'Try not to touch it.' Loki muttered quietly before looking up at Lars, 'Indeed.'

'I'll try and hurrying. And uh are you alright ma'am?'

'I think I got appendicitis.' You groaned.

'Oh man, yea ambulances are expensive, I get taking an Uber.'

Loki blinked, 'Ambulances?' He turned to you.

You blushed, shuffling awkward and looking away as you swallowed hard. 'I uh, yea, expensive.'

Loki's eyes darkened, clenching his teeth, 'Tony Stark is your boss.'

'I didn't want to make a fuss.' Your rubbed your index fingers together, trying to appear as small as possible.

Lars looked through the rearview mirror, 'Oh man, I thought your husband was just stingy, making you take an Uber.'

'The hel is an ambulance?' Loki snarled.

'Uh dude?' Lars raised his eyebrow.

'Loki don't be mad. It was already enough of a fuss making you come with me to the hospital, I didn't want to make it worse.' You mumbled.

Loki lowered his voice to a hiss, 'Yes instead we're in some strange man's car-'

You opened your mouth to protest but your response was cut off with another sharp cry, tears running down your cheeks.

Loki's annoyance deflated instantly and he pulled you towards him, hugging you tightly and stroking your back soothingly. 'It's alright, you'll be alright, we're almost there.' Loki glanced to the driver, 'How far?'

'Five minutes.'

-

The car pulled into the hospital lot and Loki carried you to the front entrance.

'You should get me a wheelchair,' You muttered, even though you preferred being in his strong arms. You could see Loki's hesitation and wondered if he preferred holding you too. But regardless, as he looked around seeing other sick patients in wheelchairs, Loki complied.

Following the signs to the emergency room, you pointed Loki towards the counter to sign in. The lady at the counter looked down at you in the wheelchair and then at Loki.

'He's my fiance.' You stammered.

Loki blushed, looking down at you then quickly fell into the lie, 'Yes.' He smiled at the lady.

'Right.. Reason for visit?'

'Appendicitis.' Loki explained.

You bit your fist, stifling your cry, gripping your side and huddling over in pain. As you straightened back up, you nodded.

'Fever?'

'103. Friday took it.' You added.

The woman nodded, her fingers typing away. She asked you a few more personal questions, having Loki wheel you back behind the counter to get your blood pressure and pulse taken, confirming your temperature.

'Now just say the word, and we can have your fiance step out at any time.' The attending nurse said, a short round man named Dan. He was bubbly and sweet, cracking jokes and kept your spirits up as he took your vital signs and despite his protective self, even Loki had a slight smile while he was talking to the man.

Instinctively, you reached for Loki's hand. You were laying in a hospital bed now, your blanket folded neatly on Loki's lap. Loki gently reached out to take your hand and you felt yourself more at ease, holding his hand.

'I'd prefer he stayed. I don't want to be alone for the holidays.' You mumbled.

Dan nodded, looking between the two of you and smiling sweetly. 'You two are adorable. Well I'll leave you alone to get changed, hun if you need help, press that red button but I'm sure your honey can help you but I know it's my job so that button calls me right over. So change into the gown so the doctor can check you more easily and then we'll get some bloodwork done and some other tests but based on your symptoms I'm pretty sure you have it bad. We don't think it's burst so there's probably some time yet still. But we're working fast, then we'll get it out of you, have some time for recovery and you'll be on your way and hopefully home in time for Christmas.' Dan smiled warmly, 'shame that it had to have such bad timing for you two, hopefully you didn't have any plans.'

Loki chuckled, squeezing your hand. 'Do you need my assistance, love?'

You blushed as Dan left the room, 'Actually yes... I don't think I can stand.'

Loki swallowed hard, 'Very well. How can I assist?'

'I can leave undergarments on...' You mumbled.

Loki nodded, face pink, looking pointedly away.

'My top I can get, it's the bottoms that will be harder.' You trailed off, mouth dry.

Loki licked his lips.

You cried out softly as you tried to raise your arms above your head to lift off your shirt. Loki sighed, turning around and facing you, looking away as much as possible as he gently pulled your shirt from you, carefully tugging it over your head, mindful of his chilly fingers sliding over your smooth bare skin.

When your head poked free, for a second, your eyes made contact with his. Your mostly bare chest rising and falling, covered only just by the bra you wore. An electrical thin line of contact held your gaze as his green eyes met yours and then the two of you looked away and Loki carefully folded your shirt, setting it on the empty chair next to one he had previously occupied.

Your eyes followed his shoulder blades through the outlines of his coat, watching his body work as he moved. He seemed stiffer than normal, he was usually so fluid in his movements. Slowly he turned back towards you, his voice deeper and rougher, 'Very well,' He began, 'Your bottoms?'

You held the hospital gown to your chest now, covering your exposed abdomen and bra and most of your modesty. It would offer you a better amount of decency for removing your bottoms but still, the act of undressing was still intimate.

Leaning back onto the bed, you used your hands to lift up your hips as Loki tugged at your bottoms, pulling them down your thighs and slowly down your legs. You bit your lip, forcing yourself to stare at the ceiling, too terrified to look at his face. At last your bottoms were off and your legs were bare, save for the long hospital gown that went down past your thighs.

Loki walked past you, folding your bottoms and added that to the pile with your blanket and shirt. Then he returned to your side, settling the hospital blankets on top of you, carefully tucking you in in the most affectionate manner that only your parents had ever shown you. You smiled up at him, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

'Thank you.' You whispered.

Loki stroked his hand through your hair, wiping the loose strands from your face, 'Of course.' He smiled tenderly at you. Turning away, he slid his chair closer to the hospital bed that he could better talk to you and sat in silence for a while.

Moments' later, the door opened. Dan walked in, 'Hey there, just going to take some blood and do some tests now, sorry about the wait, Christmastime is always really busy. Thanks for your patience. I'll get the TV turned on so you two can watch some Christmas movies.'

You and Loki chatted some, but mostly you dozed. Some of the Christmas movies you had wanted to watch with Loki came on. Dan came back later with an IV drip, keep your fluids up he said, as food was the last thing you wanted.

Loki seemed half interested in the movies, always staring intently at you.

Laying in bed, finally slightly awake with a glass of ice water, around five in the evening, you sighed. 'So, first day of our winter break huh.'

Loki chuckled, readjusting his position in his seat in the uncomfortable plastic chair. 'I could think of more comfortable ways to spend my time.' He smirked at you.

You winced apologetically. Another wave of stabbing pain ran through your side and you cringed.

Loki straightened up, reaching for your hand.

'I'm fine.' You gasped, settling back down. Slowly sinking back into the bed, you sighed heavily.

'Don't worry yourself,' Loki muttered, 'I didn't have any other plans and well I'm not exactly one to celebrate Christmas so I may as well spend it with you.'

You smiled at him weakly, 'Thanks.'

There was a knock at the door. Dan walked in followed by a tall dark-haired, lean woman.

'Hello there! How are you two doing?' Dan beamed.

The woman looked between the two of you apologetically, 'I'm Doctor Lee, I'm afraid your white blood cell count is high, so you're showing signs of infection. If you'll excuse me.' She stepped forward and moved between Loki and Dan, stepping by you, pulling back the blankets and placing her hand on your side and applying pressure. You cried out, quickly gritting your teeth to silence the noise. 'Given your physical response, the sensitivity to pressure and other tests having narrowed out other possibilities, we think it is likely appendicitis. But I think I should get a CT scan and a MRI just to be sure, I don't want jump to any unnecessary conclusions. What do you think?'

You glanced at Loki, was it possible that Tony Stark's highly advanced AI was wrong? Possibly. Should you bring it up? Probably best to wait on random surgery until absolutely necessary. 'Yea, I'll do the scans.'

Dr. Lee looked at Loki, 'You'll have to wait here. Maybe go to the cafeteria for some dinner? It's on the fifth floor, just follow the signs, you can't miss it.'

Loki glanced at you, for guidance. 'What do you think, love?'

Dan cut in, 'Then again, it'll probably only be about fifteen minutes.'

Dr. Lee nodded, 'Good point, it'll be quite short. Just wait here, sir, we'll have her back in a moment, don't worry, we'll keep her safe.'

Loki eyed her darkly before nodding stiffly.

Dr. Lee walked out of the room followed by Dan.

Loki turned once more and gripped your hand, smoothing his thumb over your hand worriedly. 'I hate Midgardian technology.'

'A lot of this stuff is donated by Stark, I think, it's pretty good quality.'

'Even worse.'

'Loki.'

Loki muttered darkly.

'I'll be fine.'

Loki sighed and nodded, 'They just cut out your organ and toss it away.'

'I'm sure they're a little more thoughtful with it.'

Loki looked at you pointedly.

You didn't know how you became the one comforting him. 'Loki I'll be fine.'

The door opened and a new nurse walked in, 'Hey, I'm Tracy, I'll be the one taking you for your imaging. Appendicitis? That's rough, I had a sister who had that.'

Tracy chatted the whole way to the imaging rooms. She was young but sweet, commenting on your cute fiance, and gushing about how lucky you were to have him, lamenting over her recent breakup but in a way that made you feel for her. She never learned she said, but you found yourself liking her and almost wishing you could be friends with her still even after your short peek into her life.

The CT scan was a short simple image, you laid in your bed, slid into the tube and the pictures were taken. It was loud but nothing too terrible, then you were on your way.

The MRI on the other hand was uproariously loud and claustrophobic. The tube felt like it was crushing in around you and its giant gaping tons of metal would collapse on you while you were inside it and the hospital would forget about you and no one would ever come looking for you.

Except Loki.

You smiled at the thought of Loki angrily tearing apart the banging, wrenching machine, demanding you be brought out from the wreckage.

Despite the headphones and music of your choice to cancel out some of the noise, it was stupendously loud, banging and shaking and rattling your brain to the very stem. You didn't have a headache before but you did now.

You returned to your fantasy of Loki destroying the loud machine and decided that he would somehow save you alive from it, alive and happy and together. Your smile grew.

Slowly you were tugged back out from the banging, wrenching, machine and pulled back to your bed, Tracy chatting and greeting you once more. You smiled up at her, raising your hand in a halfhearted greeting, tired and spent from your trip to the angry yelling MRI beast. Longing for sleep, you nodded and agreed with her, trying to be supportive but really just feeling in pain.

Then, the door opened and you were back in your room.

Loki looked up, his face lighting up as he saw you slide back into the room.

Tracy smiled looking at him, 'There you go, all yours.' She waved at the two of you and walked back out of the room.

'How was it?' Loki asked, scooting his chair back towards you.

You rest your arm over your face, 'Loud.'

Loki, having no idea what you were talking about, took your hand in his and simply held it sympathetically. 'I worried about you.'

'Thank you.'

'I pictured you breaking the machine.' You giggled.

'Are you delirious?' Loki asked.

'I think sleep deprived.'

Loki nodded slowly. 'Erm, very well.'

'Sorry.'

'You're fine.'

The door opened and Dr. Lee walked in, 'Alright, we're going to get you moved out of the ER since we're confirmed it's appendicitis, and need to clear up beds for ER patients, and this is going to be more of an extended stay thing, but yes, you're results are confirmed. So if you can gather up her things, sir. We're going to move you to the main wing.'

Dan walked in behind Dr. Lee, 'I'll be pushing you there, it was nice meeting you two. Hope you get to feeling better. Good luck on the wedding and Merry Christmas! Off we go!'

'Just like that.' Loki said.

'The OR is currently setting up, but we have to make room in the ER, so we're going to get you situated while it's setting up and as soon as the OR is available we can operate.'

Loki nodded slowly, 'Good. Good then.'

Dr. Lee smiled, 'Thank you for being understanding.'

Dan pushed your bed off at a breakneck speed, zooming around corners as Loki rushed to keep up, having no clue where he was going in the labyrinth that was the hospital. Eventually you found yourselves in a new room inside a new wing, fortunate to be in a single patient room.

Dan saluted you and Loki before turning and hurrying back to the ER.

It was around six now and Loki set your things down on window ledge before looking around the room that was vaguely decorated for Christmas.

'Oh look, Loki, there's a recliner.'

Loki looked at the large chair and raised his eyebrow before tentatively sitting down and leaning back, his legs shooting forward as he was finally able to sit comfortably. He sighed and smiled, 'Well this is an improvement.'

You smiled tiredly at him, gritting your teeth as another wave of pain went through you.

Loki stood up, sitting on the bed and resting his hand on yours. 'You'll get through this.'

You nodded, beat and exhausted.

A soft knock came from the door, 'Hi, I'm your nurse Kristin, I have some painkillers for you. Dr Lee said she didn't want you to have any earlier today, I know it's stupid but she was worried it would mess with the test results. It's cruel hun, but sometimes they come back weird.' She shook her head and pursed her lips, holding up the syringe, 'Let's get some of this into you.'

You looked at her like an angel.

Loki pulled away from you, moving to the side so Kristin could properly reach your iv.

The flood of cold fluids burned into your hand for a moment, drawing some of the sensation of pain from your side and slowly easing the pain in your side. Your head lolled back and you sighed eyes fluttering.

'It's just a little vicodin, nothing too much, but it should help the pain considerably. When it's closer to operating time, I'll come back and get you prepped, alright?'

You nodded, 'Alrigh'.' You smiled up at her. 'Thanks.'

Loki chuckled and shook his head.

'Now press that red button if you need help, ok?'

You nodded, 'Ok.'

'Thank you, nurse.' Loki murmured.

Kristin left the room and Loki was left standing over you, staring down at you as you laid back in the bed, finally feeling in less pain.

'Truly a pity they couldn't give that to you sooner.' Loki muttered.

'No shit.' You mumbled back, blinking groggily. 'I think you could punch me and I wouldn't feel it.'

Loki raised his eyebrow.

'Well not you, but like, Tony. Well, fine, maybe I don't know... Pepper. She takes cheap shots though. Mariah. How about Mariah? I'd say Mariah, she's trained to punch hard, probably won't take a cheap shot, and doesn't have any super soldier serum in her.'

'Yes that's fair. We really are on short supply of regular humans these days.'

'No kidding.'

In less than fifteen minutes, filled with amicable chatter between you and Loki, Kristen returned.

'Alright!' Kristen announced, 'The OR is almost ready, let's get you pre-op ready. I'm going to give you some really strong painkillers and the anesthesiologist will be here shortly.'

As if on cue, another woman walked in, pushing a small cart with a mask and a myriad of tools on it.

Loki looked upright as he had moved back to the recliner, watching everything from his seat.

'I'm Trish.' The anesthesiologist introduced herself, putting the mask to your face. 'It takes a little bit for this to kick in and then we'll wheel you there. We figured you'd be calmer with your fiance here. And he can't be in the OR so,' She trailed off, looking over to Loki.

Loki was on his feet instantly, across the room and by your side, holding your hand. 'What can I do?'

Trish smiled, 'Just being here for her is fine. Once she's good and loopy, we recommend you get some food and some rest, it'll be a while before she's back. Cafeteria is on the fifth floor so feel free to get some food there.'

Loki nodded, 'Right, of course.' He smoothed his thumb over the back of your hand, gently stroking your hand as he held yours.

You smiled up at his slowly feeling harder to concentrate as you focused on him. Blinking several times, vision going out of focus, you stared up at him, feeling the world swirl and sway. Your mouth went slack as you gazed up at him. 'Loki.' You mumbled happily, gripping his hand with both of yours and squeezing it.

You could distantly make out the nurses warning him to keep his hand, and by association your hands, away from your face and the mask, but that didn't matter.

You gasped softly, 'Loki's here? Loki came?' You gushed, tears brimming in your eyes.

Loki used his free hand to wipe away your tears, 'Yes, I'm here, love, it's alright.'

'He called me love!' You looked over at the nurses, 'Did you hear that, he called me love! Loki came for me. I love you Loki. You're my favorite and I love you.'

Loki blushed, gently patting your forehead. 'It's alright, dear.' He chuckled.

Trish chuckled, 'She's a sweetheart.'

Loki nodded, still allowing you to squeeze and hug his hand to oblivion. His gaze softened as he looked down at you, your grip slackening.

'Favorite.' You murmured, dozing off.

-

Loki watched as they pushed you out of the room, slowly sinking back into his seat, gazing at the lingering touch of your hand on his. She had called him his favorite.

-

-

Your eyes slowly opened and you groaned, moaning in pain as the painkillers wore off. You heard the soft shuffle of fabric and felt someone taking your hand, 'Gentle now, careful, I'm with you.'

'Loki?' You blinked away the bleariness of your vision.

'Drink.'

A straw was pressed to your lips and you obliged, cold ice water spilling down your parched throat and running into your stomach. You sighed heavily at the first sips, 'Thanks.'

'How are you feeling?'

'I hurt, but, surprisingly less than before.'

Loki nodded, holding the cup near enough that you could reach for it easily but not too close to be obnoxious. He smoothed back your hair from your face. 'I'm glad you're well.'

'Did you get food?'

'Yes. A nurse chased me out during your surgery.' Loki looked away sheepishly.

You reached for his hand. 'I'm glad.'

'I'm just glad you're well.'

You laughed weakly, 'You said that.'

'I mean it.'

'Thanks.' You sighed, 'What'd you eat?'

'Clam chowder? I think, it's hard to tell.'

You laughed, 'Hospital food, always can count on it.'

'It's good to hear you laughing.' Loki touched your thigh gently and smiled.

You felt a deep flush heat your face. Opening your mouth to respond, you stopped, 'Do you hear that?'

Loki listened, 'I believe that's your cell phone?'

You felt yourself pale. 'Loki, how long has that been going off?'

'I haven't really paid attention to it.'

'Shit. Shit. Shit.'

Loki stood up and reached for it amongst your things, before handing it to you.

'23 Missed calls. 137 text messages.' You stared at the phone blankly.

'Who is it from?' Loki asked.

The hospital room door opened. 'Ironman.' Tony Stark walked in. 'Seriously, are you freaking kidding me? I leave you alone for like twelve hours and you get appendicitis?' Tony looked between you and Loki. 'Also only twenty of those calls are mine, and like 85 of those texts. I kinda sorta told everyone that you were in the hospital.'

You were lying in bed scrolling through your phone trying to focus your dazed brain and view the text messages and missed calls.

Loki had pulled away the moment he heard Tony's footsteps at the door.

'Tony...' You groaned dragging out his name. 'It's Christmas, you didn't seriously drag everyone away from their holiday.'

'I did not, I just alerted everyone that a team member was in the hospital for the holiday, if they choose to be shitty and not drop everything for a team member in need, that's on them.'

'Loki help me out.' You glanced at Loki.

Tony looked at Loki, 'Well when I was looking for what room you were in, I was told you were in this one, with your fiance so what sort of holiday fake dating trope-ery is this?'

You and Loki made eye contact, flushing before looking back at Tony and yelling angrily, both in denial and arguing at him that he was intruding and overstepping.

Tony held up his hands, 'Alright, alright, love birds I see I stepped on some toes. I guess you're not ready for things to be official.'

'I'm going to murder you Stark.' You muttered.

'You love me, kiddo.' Tony replied with a wink, 'Now I'm going to raid the gift shop and get this place full of well wishing goodness. Let's see the enroute status of the others and see how this Christmas party plays out, and then see how long before we can spring you. Oh and did I seriously hear that you two ordered an Uber instead of an ambulance to get here, seriously? I'm Tony freakin Stark and you guys took an Uber to the hospital?'

You winced, 'Merry Christmas?'

Loki sighed and leaned down, kissing your cheek, 'Merry Christmas, love.'

[all-sortsa-stuff]

This dance

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2191

Warning: Angst (You may cry.)

A/N: Steve never got his dance with Peggy before crashing into the ice.  Now years later in New York, a year after her death, could there be someone who teaches him to feel again?  Or is he the one to help another open their heart once more?

 The sun was just breaking over the horizon of the city as you snuck out of the tower.  Part of the team was off on a mission while the other half must have taken advantage of the down time and slept in.  The kitchen was quiet as you walked through looking for your boots.  You had left them by the television the previous night when you watched a movie with Bucky and Sam.  At least this time you knew where they were.  Most of the time you just took them off as soon as you entered the building, happy to be out of them, walking barefoot.  The team was always finding them in odd places.

The car ride to the cemetery did not take long this early in the morning.  Traffic, light this time of day.  You wanted to get there as soon as you could to be able to spend time before you were called back to do something.  Parking and the walk to the stone was done without really thinking about it.  You had done it so many times before over the last four years that it was now ingrained within you.  Cleaning the leaves off the stone before you sat in front of it, you sighed as you looked at the words sprawled across its face.  “I know it’s been a little while since I was here. But I wouldn’t have missed today. I almost bought a balloon again this year, but I heard your voice in the back of my mind telling me I better not buy another damn balloon that someone will just steal.”

You laughed quietly as you looked down at the grass.  “How is it another birthday is here, and it still feels like yesterday that I last saw you?”  The laugh turned into a sniff as you worked to hold back the tears.  “Four years, Jason.  It’s been four years and it still hurts like hell.  I still think about you every day.  Though there are hours that go by without you consuming all my thoughts.” The tears streamed down your cheeks and you wiped them away quickly.  “Saw your mom the other day.  She said she would be here sometime this week.  Probably tomorrow.  Says it hurts too much to come on your birthday.  She is going to make your favorite cake today for her and your dad. She invited me over too, but I just can’t.  Jason, I can’t walk in that house again.  Your pictures are everywhere.”

The lump in your throat grew and you could not say anything because if you did a sob would escape.  You took slow breaths trying to calm the emotions that were taking over.  It took a few minutes, but you were able to reign them in.  “Oh, you will love this.  She asked if I was seeing any nice young man.  I laughed and I think I startled her.  I told her I didn’t know if that would ever happen.  She gave me that look she would always give you and said that ‘you know Jason would want you to move on.’  Ugh I just told her I had to leave then to get back to work.  That just got her on another tangent.  You know how she gets. She asked what I was doing now that I wasn’t with the fire department anymore.  I just said I work for Stark Industries and left it at that.  She can’t exactly know what I am doing now.  You would be amazed at the things I can do now, Jas.”

 A few rows behind and across the small pond there was another at the cemetery who was visiting a stone.  He had been there since dawn wanting to think about the past year since her death. Steve had not said a word since he got there.  Instead he cleaned off the stone that he visited weekly, ensuring that it stayed as pristine as possible.  She deserved that.  He had been staring at the stone for well over an hour just thinking about Peggy and their brief but wonderful time together.  It was a year to the day since she had passed away in her sleep.  He could still remember the feeling, the weight of the casket that day.  It still hurt.  

He walked away back towards the entrance when he caught sight of a familiar form.  You were in front of a stone, sitting in the grass, talking.  Steve figured you were talking to who ever belonged to that stone as there was no one else around.  Though he was curious as who it could be.  No one really knew about your past, not personally at least.  The team know you were once a fire fighter and after the attack on New York by Loki and the Chitauri your powers were triggered. From there you were recruited by Fury and trained to become a part of the Avengers.  While you had made friends quickly with the team none of them could really break through the walls that you kept up when it came to some of the details of your life.  He was unsure of whether he should approach you, but he decided to take the chance.  

You were still talking and by the sounds of it crying when he put a hand on your shoulder. Instinct took over and you grabbed the arm flipping whoever it was over your shoulder before pulled the blade from your ankle and holding it to their throat.  When you realized it was Rogers you pulled back and scrambled to stand.  “Oh Gods, Steve I’m sorry.  I didn’t know it was you.”

He laughed as he lay on the ground before you extended your hand to help him up.  “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know it was me.  I should have made a sound or something.  Just thought I didn’t want to disturb you but wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You nodded nervously as he looked at your tear stained face.  “It’s okay.  I was just…” Looking at the stone then back to Steve you half smiled before shaking her head.  “I was just spending some time with Jason for his birthday.”

Steve looked at the stone noting the name and the date of death.  Jason Leonard, May 4, 2012.  He realized that was the day Loki attacked New York.  There was the Maltese Cross next to the name.  It was starting to make a lot more sense.  “He died in the attack.”

Closing your eyes, you nodded and began to sway back and forth, trying to keep more tears from coming. “Yeah, when one of the buildings collapsed.  He… he uh, we had been trying to get people out.  Lost him and a few other good people that day.  Look Steve..”

He could see the pleading in your eyes.  “I won’t ask anymore.  I won’t tell your story either.  If you want to talk, I’m here.  I was just here visiting Peg’s grave.  It’s been a year since… since she passed.”

You knew some of the story about Steve’s great lost love from before he was frozen.  How when he woke up, she had lived her life and was slowly losing her memory and hold on reality.  You had missed the funeral the year prior as you were off the week to spend time with Jason’s family.  “It hurts still I know the pain.”

Steve nodded as he put his hands on his hips.  “I was just about to leave but if you want some company…”

“Oh no.  I’m good.  I was just catching him up on things.  I don’t come here as often anymore.  But… you know its his birthday.  Thought… I should be here for it.”  He smiled sadly at you looking down at the ground.

“Alright.  I will see you later then.”  You watched him walk away out of sight before you took your seat once more.

“Probably would have been bad if I had to kill someone on your grave.”  The dry laugh at least brought some semblance of a smile to your face. “That’s Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.  You would like him.  You would like the whole team really.  I mean Tony can be a bit much, but he is a good guy.”

You spent another hour there just talking before you finally felt like you could take the rest of the day without as much pressure on your chest.  “I love you Jas.  I think it will be a while before I come back.  I need to learn to breathe again.”  Kissing your hand, you touched his stone before walking back to the car.  The tears streaming once more.

  The days that followed, everyone noticed the change in your demeanor.  You were quiet and almost sullen.  It was not like you, not really.  Your duties were completed without an issue but there was little interaction with the team.  Bucky was the first to ask you if you were alright during a sparring session.  You brushed him off telling him there were just things on your mind, that you would be fine.  That excuse was repeated when Wanda asked you the same.  Though she could sense there was so much more behind the words, but she did not press it further.  The whole team was concerned about you but were not sure how to approach it. You had been with the team now for three years and none of them, save for Steve now, knew about family or friends. Of course, all the brass knew but they did not share that sort of information.

A week after the meeting at the cemetery Steve found you sitting on the roof, watching the sun set. It was your favorite time of day. It meant that whatever happened that day, if it were bad, it would be washed away with the dark and made new by the dawn.  “I thought I might find you up here.”

You heard the door when it slid open but ignored it to watch the sun slip beneath the skyline.  “Well you were right, I guess.  Need something?”

He took a seat beside you looking off in the direction of your gaze.  “No, I don’t need anything.  I was checking if you needed anything.  You have been off this week; I know it is a hard time for you.  Wanted to make sure there wasn’t something I could do to help make you feel better.”

It was sweet that he asked. Steve Rogers was just that type of person.  He cared about his team like they were family.  Though you were not exactly family like the rest of them.  You always felt on the outside of them all.  Even after all this time, but that was probably your fault.  “No there isn’t anything you can do.  I need to figure this out.  Learn to…” You laughed looking over at Steve. “I need to learn to breathe again.”

He looked puzzled by the laugh.

“I said that to Jason’s grave before I left.  I told him or myself really that I need to learn to breathe again.  I don’t know if I even understand what that means yet.  It’s a little ironic I think.”

Steve shrugged as he continued to watch you, study the woman who looked like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.  He realized that your eyes always held that fight that was taking place within you. You were so strong doing what you did every day to keep the world safe, but you had not let go of any of the pain that had occurred in your life.  “Everyone is worried, [Y/N].  You haven’t been yourself and blown off anyone who had tried to get close.  But that is something you have done since you joined.  You know it wouldn’t hurt to let people know who you are, who you were.  Honestly, I think you would be surprised that everyone here has some screwed up story.  They have all lost people.  They could be family more than the distant friends that you keep at arm’s length if you just let them.”

Your eyes closed as he spoke, the tears beginning to flow.  It felt like there had been so many recently.  Every word he said was true, but it was difficult to think about actually doing it, bringing down the walls and allowing them to see the absolute wreck you truly were. You wanted to.  Gods did you want to.  It would be nice to have someone to be there even if just for a moment to cry on their shoulder.  Someone to know the pain that was still sharp in your chest.  Hell, it would be nice to just be able to talk about the good things in your past without worrying about sharing the bad parts too.  No, it was too much.  No.

“I got to go Steve.” You jumped up from your seat and all but ran back into the building.

“[Y/N] wait…  I didn’t mean to… push.”  The last word came out as the doors slid closed.  “Damnit.”

 Part 2

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