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#lol there are so few authors that do children effectively for me
mermaidsirennikita · 7 months
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"he reaches out to protect the heroine..."
:)
"... and the two small children in her care"
:(
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gyuwoncheol · 9 months
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Ride Of Your Life
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Pair: Wonwoo x f.reader
Genre: Smut. 18+ only (MDNI).
Summary: in which Wonwoo asks you to ride him.
Warnings: pwp, Dom!Wonwoo, daddy kink, unprotected sex (stay safe, children), cock riding, creampie, spanking, ass squeezing, overstimulation, dacryphilia, breast play, dirty talk, praise, degradation, use of pet names (baby, angel). So NOT proofread because this was written in a mad horny rush.
WC: 1.2k
Author's note: lol surprise!!! Self indulgent pwp caused by the gif below because what do you mean this is exactly how dom! Wonwoo would look at you as you climb on top of his lap? 👀🥵
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“Cmon, angel. Don’t make me wait.”
Your feet move on its own accord, following your boyfriend’s instructions from a few seconds ago: “get on my lap and have the ride of your life.”
Your legs are shaking as your knees cage his thighs so you steady yourself with a hand on his wide shoulders. Wonwoo couldn’t keep his eyes off you, following your every move, noticing how you’ve so easily slipped into your sub tendencies. You kneel upright and when your eyes catch his blown out pupils, you quickly look away.
“Eyes on me,” he commands in a deep voice, a hand on your waist while the other tilts your chin to reconnect with his gaze. His touch was gentle yet fiery, and the way he looked at you with so much hunger had your panties sticking to your folds.
Your boyfriend’s hands leave you for a moment to unzip his pants, fishing out his hard member and pumping it with his right hand. Your jaw hangs open at the sight of the precum oozing out of his slit, your saliva pooling quickly in your mouth. “Want this?” Wonwoo asks with a smirk.
You nod eagerly, “always want your cock, daddy.”
That’s all Wonwoo needed to hear before his hands hike your dress up and pull your panties to the side. His fingers immediately dip and swipe through your sopping folds, “so wet, baby. Looks like you don’t need prep anymore,” he states and withdraws his fingers only to stick them in your mouth.
You oblige and taste yourself on his digits, making sure to swirl your tongue before releasing them with a loud pop. “Fuck me, daddy, please.”
You were thankful Wonwoo was more receptive of your request today, it was rare for him to comply without edging you at least two more times first but you suppose your little black dress for the night did the trick.
“O-oh my goood,” you shudder when he lowers you onto his dick. The slide is easy but slow as he holds onto your waist. “Fuuuck,” you squeak, shutting your eyes and willing the painful burn to go away fast.
“That’s it, you’re taking me so well baby,” Wonwoo praises and you lower yourself further to take on another inch of him. He could feel your nails dig on the skin of his shoulder, but he doesn’t mind.
“Daddy, kiss me please,” you cry, looking for any form of distraction. Your boyfriend wastes no time, joining his lips with yours in a messy kiss, tongue already tangled with yours. You were so lost in it that you had easily sunk down on him bit by bit, only realizing you’ve bottomed out when Wonwoo lets out a long groan.
He gives you time to adjust to his size, pushing out the straps of your dress to expose your boobs. “Mine,” he claims before sucking harshly on your nipple, causing you to jerk forward in surprise.
“Fuck, so good!”
“Yeah? Like it, baby?” He toys with your other nipple with his fingers, watching you nod in agreement. “My dirty little girl, show daddy how you ride.”
You’re panting at his encouragement, pleasure finally washing over you. You lift yourself up until his head almost slips out and then sink back down in one fell swoop. A chorus of moans echo in the living room and your boyfriend squeezes your waist tighter when you grind down on him.
“God, you’re so hot when you’re like this,” he spurs you on and it’s effective because the next thing he knows, you’re bouncing on his cock like a woman possessed. Your boyfriend’s eyes are closed and head fallen back on the couch, delighting in the way you sheath his cock in your tight cunt repeatedly.
“D-daddyy, i’m g—“ you bottom out and bury your face on his neck when a strong orgasm overtakes you from behind. Wonwoo is quick to stabilize your shaking form, winding his long arms around your back before taking control of the situation.
“Wha– ah!” You squeak when he starts to roughly thrust up into you, not caring for any overstimulation you may be feeling, “sorry angel, daddy’s gotta cum too.”
“F-fuck! O-oh my god!” You pull on his hair when he reaches a certain depth within you. Wonwoo knows he’s hit your spot because the moan that rips out from your throat is breathless and desperate. “More, daddy! Please, harder!” You challenge, gyrating your hips on top of him.
“My dirty little slut!” Wonwoo chuckles darkly, a harsh spank landing on your ass before he squeezes the supple flesh, “can’t get enough of my cock, hm?”
You can’t even answer because his hand once again lands on your ass, a loud growl emitting from Wonwoo when he feels you clench impossibly tight.
“Fuck, this pussy’s all mine,” he claims while his thumb carelessly rubs on your clit. Your voice is hoarse when you scream his name, the pressure on your stomach coming back so quickly.
Wonwoo delivers one last slap to your ass before he holds you impossibly close and pistons up his hips into your soaking cunt. “My perfect little slut, all mine to fill hm? Will you let me fill you up, baby?”
“Please, daddy! fuck! Want all your cum inside!” You cry out loud, hot tears streaming down your cheeks at the overwhelming feeling of his large cock bullying your most sensitive spot.
“Cum with me, baby. Cream my cock,” Wonwoo grunts, pushing all your weight down on his cock as he drives impossibly deep inside you and knocking the air out of your lungs. He repeats the motion twice before you wail out a silent cry, fireworks exploding in your vision as your second orgasm hits you like a truck.
Your boyfriend revels in your incoherent whines and your orgasm triggers his own, multiple profanities flying out his mouth as ropes of his thick hot cum fill your pussy to the point of overflow.
It takes a while before any of you come back to reality. You shudder every now and then when you feel Wonwoo’s cock twitch inside of you with yet another stream of release, “Babe, you’re cumming so much.”
Wonwoo laughs heartily at your statement, the crinkles in his eyes even appearing. “All for you, angel. Only you can do this to me.”
Oh Wonwoo, ever the flirt, you think and playfully slap his chest while you roll your eyes. It’s only at the feel of his shirt that you realise the state you’re both in.
“Did we really just have sex while fully clothed?”
Another laugh from your boyfriend and it squeezes your heart how quickly he turns into a soft happy fluff ball… or so you think.
“Seems like it,” Wonwoo shrugs, “but we can always fix that.”
“Yeah? How so?” You challenge with a clench of your pussy on his still very hard dick, but you instantly regret it when the sweet smile drops from Wonwoo’s face.
“If you’re not stripped naked in bed in sixty seconds, only I get to cum the next round.”
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hugmekenobi · 3 months
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Heal
A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot
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Gif by @barissoffee
Hunter x femaleJedi!reader
Summary: Shaking the effects of Tantiss is easier said than done
Warnings: Literally one use of (Y/N), swearing, hints of Tech/Phee, references to past pain and torture, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares and trouble sleeping, descriptions of illness (headaches), reader is hard on herself, suggestive dialogue, light PDA (kissing, teasing touches), mentions of food, me making up what everyone is up to on Pabu, fluff and happy ending
Masterlist for S1, S2 and S3
Word Count: 7.2K
Rating: 18+
Author's note: Okay, not gonna lie, I struggled with this one. It was a last minute idea as I was rewatching and writing the final few episodes of season 3 but it worked and felt a lot better in my head and when it came to writing, my brain was not my friend lol. I hope it's still enjoyable! The next oneshot is the story I've had planned for months so that should be a smoother process haha
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It had been a few weeks since you’d all taken up official residence in Pabu.
Shep’s offer of setting up homes for you all stayed true.
You and Hunter had been put in a hut perfectly designed for the two of you that was a short walk away from the water and there was even a spare room for Omega who alternated between sleeping in your home and the home Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker all shared.
The three other clones may have been grouped together but there was plenty of room, and not a lot of time was spent indoors anyway.
Wrecker had taken to fishing like, well, like a fish to water.
Crosshair did a bit of everything, helping out with tasks of whoever needed assistance but he mainly he kept up with practicing shooting with his left hand. He wanted the practice, and he genuinely enjoyed it. He didn’t miss being a soldier anymore but that didn’t mean he had to renege on his skills.
Tech spent much of his time with Phee or assisting Shep in rebuilding parts of Pabu that still needed it and upgrading equipment.  
Omega often kept close company with Lyana and the other young reg clones or she went off with Tech to plan out a potential search for lost or salvageable pieces of the Marauder- the two of them had dreams of rebuilding new a ship with as many pieces of their old home as possible. It was yet to be undertaken but the vision was there.
The task of reuniting the children from Tantiss with their families had been successful but with that final mission complete, you and Hunter were also in the same boat as Crosshair and still yet to find your official niche on island. For now, you both were just relishing in the peace and each other’s company.
One thing you had managed to achieve was finding a way to finally get in touch with Lyra again, who- despite being filled in on everything that had happened since you parted ways on Christophsis- still managed to scold you for the lack of communication. But after hearing you all were alive and settled, she’d sent you all packages of more suitable island clothes with promises to visit soon.
Everything was coming together and so you were feeling one with the island life.
However, life here was not without its challenges.
The impact and aftermath of Tantiss remained a constant shadow that would still find ways to rear its ugly head. Something you and Hunter in particular found yourselves dealing with.
--
“I figured we could have the party in the next couple of weeks right here in the colonnade and, I don’t know, you could slip away or…” Shep trailed off as he saw the way Hunter’s brow furrowed in pain.
“Uh huh.” Hunter agreed distantly. He didn’t want to ignore Shep, especially when he was doing him the favour, but fuck had the sun always been this bright? The blinding pain behind his eyes and throbbing in his skull was getting harder to dismiss.  
You were a casual observer and listener to the conversation between the young reg clones and the adult clones that had remained on the island- Deke, Stak and Mox had no shortage of questions for them. But you sensed a rising discomfort and then you caught the way Hunter kept pinching the bridge of his nose and squinting to get away from the glare of the warm sun. “Excuse me.” You politely removed yourself from the conversation and hurriedly walked over to where Shep and Hunter were conversing. “Shep, I’m sorry to interrupt but do you mind if I steal him away for a moment?”
“Not at all.” Shep bid the two of you farewell with a smile.
You lightly rested a hand on his upper arm. “Hunter? Another flare up?” You figured, keeping your worried voice quiet.
Hunter just about managed a nod and said through gritted teeth, “But I can wait it out. Shep-”
He would attempt to come up with an excuse every time and every time you wouldn’t even entertain it. “Come on.” You carefully wrapped an arm around him and guided him back home.
--
You opened the door and carried on through to the bedroom. You gently prompted him to sit on the bed as you knelt down and took his shoes off before you shut the bedroom window to cancel out the noise outside and closed the blinds to keep the sunlight out. You kept your voice low and monotone as you instructed him, “Lie down.”
Hunter did as you said and rested on his back.
The routine was second nature to you. He hadn’t had headaches like this for a while but since Tantiss and because of what he’d suffered there, they’d become more frequent. His senses hadn’t quite readjusted back to what they used to be.
You moved silently throughout the house as you went to the freezer and came back with the cold compress you stored specifically for these moments and placed it over his eyes. “I’ll just be in the living room if you need anything. Try to sleep.” You whispered caringly before you lightly squeezed his hand and made to leave. However, you had barely stepped away from the bed when Hunter’s hand caught your wrist.
“Stay.” He requested through a wince.
“I don’t want to overwhelm you.” You cautioned quietly. You had remained a couple times before, but it had never been a certainty that he wanted you to stay when he was going through this. You always waited for him to give the okay.
“You can’t.” He murmured. He needed you here to ground him in a way the usual methods could never do.
You removed your own shoes and supported his back as you sat him up and slotted yourself behind him.
Hunter rested his head against your chest.
You readjusted the compress slightly once you were both in a comfortable position. “This okay?” You asked as you softly massaged each of his temples.
Hunter let out a tranquil sigh and he could already feel the discomfort receding. You always knew just what it was he needed from you in these moments. “Perfect.”
--
Hunter wasn’t the only one still feeling the lingering toil of Tantiss. Your screams of terror and the way you thrashed next to him woke him up. He called your name and shook your arm to wake you up. “Hey, hey. Easy, easy. It’s alright.” He assured you as he saw your eyes widen in fear.
You shot awake and hastily sat up, your breathing hard and uneven.
“You’re okay. I’m here.” Hunter whispered soothingly as he sat up alongside you.
You closed your eyes and let his voice be the only thing you focused on.
“You’re alright. It was a bad dream.”
Right yes, a bad dream.
“Hold on.” Hunter pressed his lips to your clothed shoulder before he got out of bed and ran a cloth under some cold water.
You worked on getting your breathing back under control. You ran a hand over your face and felt the beads of sweat dripping down your temples and down your neck and back. Your sleep top was sticking to you uncomfortably. But you forced yourself to concentrate on anything that didn’t remind you of the nightmare you’d just escaped. You took in your secure and familiar surroundings of your bedroom to calm yourself down. You weren’t back there. You were on Pabu with Hunter. You were safe here.  
Hunter slid back in bed beside you. “Arms up.” He prompted delicately. When you did that, he carefully removed your sweat soaked top and tossed it to the side of the bed– he’d deal with it in the morning- and placed the cool cloth to the back of your neck and spine before he tenderly dabbed at your temples. He then put a replacement top back over your head and continued to press the flannel around your forehead and neck.
“I’m sorry.” You rasped as you hid your face in your palms in embarrassment. You hated this. He would already have tough days and you couldn’t even offer him any relief in the evenings. The two of you had gotten into a rather unfortunate ritual where you would comfort him during the day and then the roles would switch as soon as night fell.
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.” Hunter reassured you lovingly. He placed the cloth on the bedside table and rubbed his hand up and down your back to ease away the lingering tension and to help settle you back down. “Same one?” He guessed.
You nodded but kept your face hidden from him. “I’m just standing there. I’m watching him hurt you over and over again and I’m not doing anything to stop it.” You said, your voice cracking with each word. “Then he goes to the rest of you- to Omega. I’m completely frozen and all I can do is watch you all writhe in pain. I keep fighting to move but nothing happens. I’m just so useless and I stand by and let it happen. You’re crying out for help, and I just stand there.” You whispered with plenty of self-loathing behind your words.
Hunter shushed you consolingly. “But that’s not what happened. It’s just the nightmare talking.”
“Is it? Because it feels an awful lot like that’s what I did.” You said with self-directed disgust.
““You didn’t do nothing. You didn’t give up. You did what you thought you needed to do to get us out of there alive.” Hunter reminded you.
“Imprisoned.” You corrected.
“Alive.” Hunter countered.
You knew there was no sense in arguing with him over it. “I should be over this by now. I coped after Christophsis. I don’t know why this is sticking with me so much.” You said critically instead.
Hunter was all too familiar with this line of argument. As soon as you admitted to the nightmare and the fear it brought, you started looking for ways to berate yourself for feeling the way you were. “You couldn’t process Christophsis on your own time. You were in a position where you were forced to carry on. And I don’t think going through and being impacted by torture has a time requirement.”
You finally half-turned to face him. “Do you really believe that?”
The doubt in your voice made his throat constrict and chest tighten. “I know it.”
“But dealing with this is annoying.” You mumbled self-consciously and you averted your gaze once more.
“Do you get annoyed when you’ve needed to help me?”
You lifted your eyes back to him. “No, of course not.”
“Exactly. You help me through those episodes. Why do you think I’d treat you any differently?” He rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone. “You still need to give yourself the same treatment you give other people.” He said caringly.
You leaned your head against Hunter’s shoulder and just gave a series of reluctant but agreeable noises to signal your acceptance of his statement.
“You’re talking to me though. That counts for something.” Hunter praised, angling his head so he could kiss your forehead.
“Yeah, I’m a work in progress.” You managed to say with some light-heartedness before your voice went solemn again. “Just don’t give up on me… please.”
“Never.” Hunter promised with steadfast seriousness.
Your eyes flickered shut and you snuggled closer to him as he ran his hand up and down your arm in soft, delicate patterns.
“Want to sleeping try again?” He suggested after he felt your breathing and pulse settle back down.
You gulped but agreed to give sleep another go. “Okay.” You laid back down readjusted the covers you had kicked off in your sleep-panicked state. You breathed deeply as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to at least get a couple uninterrupted hours. But the darker part of your nightmare, the part you couldn’t vocalise, lingered with you and you didn’t know how to get past it.
Hunter wrapped his arm around your side and pulled your back tight to his chest, but despite all you opened up about, he knew you were holding something back. It was the same every night and he knew sleep would continue to elude you.
--
This new day was nearly over. Dusk had come and gone but the concept of night and sleep filled you with a deep anxiety. You needed to clear your head before you even thought about winding down for the night. “I’m going for a walk; I’ll be back soon.” You said, giving Hunter a chaste kiss to his lips before you exited your home.
Hunter gave you a slight smile as you parted from him, and he could only watch you leave. He had never felt so helpless.
He knew he couldn’t quite help you in the way you needed but there might be someone else who could.
--
“Hey there, Hunter.” Phee greeted cheerily as she opened the door to greet the clone.
“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Hunter asked apologetically.
Phee rolled her eyes, “Pfftt no way. He’s been at this for hours, if you can get his attention onto something else, be my guest.”  She led him through to the living room.
Tech grunted his greeting as he sought out the tool that he needed for the task he was completing for Shep. The island had a healer- Dalia, but she mainly operated out of her home because, until recently, that suited just fine. But when the attack on Pabu occurred, Shep and Dalia had found themselves ill-prepared for accommodating the seriousness of the injuries that followed so Tech was assisting in expanding and updating her equipment and resources. AZ was already a big help with that, but more was needing done. It was a longer but important project that Tech was taking very seriously.
 “Sorry about the mess.” Phee said with an annoyed yet affectionate stare in Tech’s direction, but she was not surprised when the clone did not appear to even register that she’d spoken. She had stopped trying to get Tech to tidy as he went about altering this latest piece of machinery since he’d insistently claimed there was an order to the chaos around him. The entire area in which he was working was covered with random tools and intricate pieces of machinery. Phee struggled to see how this all equalled a system since all she saw was an array random pieces of metal taking up her living room floor. It didn’t truly bother her though; it was just another quirk she was fond off. Her appreciation for his intelligence and passion outweighed a little untidiness.
“Don’t worry, it’s something I’m very used to.” Hunter said lightly as he carefully stepped over some discarded screws.
“Sit down.” Phee encouraged, gesturing to a spare chair as she took a seat on the couch across from where Tech was working in the middle of the floor. But when Hunter made no move to do so, Phee properly looked at him and she noticed the distant and slightly nervous expression Hunter donned. “Everything alright?”
“I need your help, Tech.” Hunter said in answer.
Tech spoke for the first time since Hunter arrived as he found the spanner he needed, “I’m not yet finished with this. Once I’m done-”
“I don’t need you to fix anything, Tech. It’s about (Y/N). She’s struggling right now and-”
“Well, we know that she has a habit of taking things on by herself. A habit both of you have shared for quite a while.” Tech said plainly, not taking his eyes off the medical equipment he was fixing up. “I wouldn’t take her refusal or dismissals personally.”
Hunter bit back his frustrated huff. He knew attempting to get his brother’s focus when he was so absorbed by a project was always going to be challenging. He went to speak again but Phee beat him to it.
Enough was enough. Phee firmly nudged Tech’s good thigh with her boot, “Would you stop playing around with that and actually pay attention to what he has to say?”
Tech snapped out of his intense concentration. “Right, yes. Sorry, Hunter.” He started officially packing up. Once he was done, he gave his brother his full attention and it was then that he saw the genuine worry on Hunter’s face which told him it was more important than any mechanical repair. “What’s going on with her?”
“She keeps having nightmares from her capture on Tantiss. I can’t remember the last time she slept through the night.” Hunter took a ragged breath. “And it’s not like she’s keeping them to herself and that’s why they’re so bad. She’s doing everything we’ve worked on. She talks to me; she lets me in and help her, but I know there’s something else she’s keeping hidden. And it’s because she knows I can’t offer her the right words, or she wants to protect me from whatever it is she’s not telling me. I’m stuck and she’s not getting any better and I can’t offer her anything more than what I’m currently doing.”
“So, how exactly can I help?” Tech asked, rather puzzled as to why his brother had come to him with this dilemma. He wasn’t exactly known for providing helpful assistance for this type of issue. It wasn’t that he never wanted to, it just always didn’t come easily to him and usually you and Hunter would always be able to work through it yourselves.
Hunter began tentatively, “Y-your experiences were- were similar. I’d thought about Crosshair but what he went through was a bit different and from what you’ve told us, it sounds closer to what she’s been through. I hate to ask it of you but-”
“Where is she?” Tech asked, getting to his feet.
“If you’re not comfortable doing this I understand. It’s a lot to talk about and-”
“Hunter, just tell me where she is.” Tech interrupted with a firm reassurance to show that he truly didn’t mind.
“Down by the shore.” Hunter told him through a grateful sigh.  
Tech nodded and got ready to leave for the beach.
--
You breathed in the fresh and clean sea air, a gentle breeze wafted through your hair. The moonlight cast the water and sand in a luminous white glow. It offered you a peace you were yet to find in your own mind. The faint but demanding whines of the hound you’d acquired on your walk down had you smiling to yourself as you focused on the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore.
Tech saw you seated on the sand, Batcher waiting for you to throw a stick for her. “Did you know that gravity and the gravitational pull of the moon creates a phenomenon called tidal force, which is what causes the ocean tides to change?”
“I mean… I knew it was something like that.” You straightened your shoulders and managed a tight smile in his direction. “Hey, Tech.” You hoped you didn’t sound as exhausted as you felt.
Tech picked up on the heaviness in your voice despite your attempts to conceal it. “Also, did you know that water absorbs the red light of the colour spectrum, leaving the blue for us to see.” He added as he threw the stick for the hound.
You hummed out your acceptance of the fact as a reply whilst Batcher returned the stick but- after greeting Tech- decided she’d had enough and curled up beside you. “You didn’t come here to share ocean facts, Tech.” You said after a moment. “What’s going on?”
“You’re right. I have another purpose in joining you.” Tech admitted as he sat down on your other side.
“Which is?” You asked leadingly.
“Hunter asked me to. He’s worried about you.” He gave you a chance to speak but you offered nothing, so he carried on, “From what I hear, you’re having difficulty sleeping due to nightmares. They are based around your confinement on Tantiss?”
You cleared your throat to buy yourself some time before you answered, “Yeah.” You brought your knees to your chest.
“Can you tell me more? Whatever you’re comfortable sharing is fine.”
You breathed deeply and peered up at the starry night sky. “Well, you know about Christophsis.”
Tech nodded. That was something he’d been told about on the shuttle back.
“Tantiss… Tantiss was different. I took beatings but they were a treat compared to that fucking droid. Hemlock did a much better job of getting the most out of that damn serum. It got harder and harder to fight it. He knew exactly what buttons to push.”
“I’m afraid I had a helping hand in that.” Tech said sheepishly.
You placed your hand on his shoulder. “I don’t blame you, Tech. Not at all.” You reassured him earnestly.
“Regardless, his methods would’ve been that effective because I told him what would work.”
You patted his shoulder to indicate that you really didn’t hold any of that period against him before you removed it and placed it back across your bent legs. You surprisingly found that you kept wanting to talk so you carried on, “I’d never be able to ignore him, he’d always be able to get in my head so, instead, I’d would look for things to take me out of it.”
“A reasonable response.” Tech agreed. The times when he’d resisted, he’d acted similarly.
You felt irritation rise in you. You’d been weak, how could he not see that? “He told me you were alive, and I used it as a way to keep pushing back against him. Omega didn’t doubt it and she only heard him say it once.”
Hunter had warned him about this before he’d left. He expected you to say things designed to make him reprimand you instead of sympathising with you. The part of ‘no emotion’ element of the Jedi Code was deeply engrained in you. Despite your affinity for handling attachment and genuine love for them, when it came to your own emotions, you had gotten a bit too good at supressing or dismissing them. “Years fighting in a war has a way of creating a certain cynicism- or realism- depending on your point of view. It helps with survival and enduring each battle. I may have gotten out of it but even I have to admit that the odds were slim. I called out the plan. I knew what I was doing, I didn’t expect to live, and I didn’t expect you all to assume that I had.” Tech easily explained away the argument. “I’m grateful for Omega’s optimism and hope- it is a wonderful quality of hers and it got me out of there and brought me back to you all-, but I never expected you to believe I lived.”
You couldn’t accept the fact that the people around you were okay with how you’d acted. Every night was a painful reminder of how you’d failed them. “What I don’t understand is why Tantiss is still affecting me in this way. I got over Christophsis just fine.”
“No, you didn’t process Christophsis. You were thrown into mission after mission and were left with no choice but to keep going. It is highly plausible that Hemlock’s own similar torture was harder to get through because it was a reminder of a traumatic time that you’d already experienced but not healed from. Plus, I don’t believe feeling the effects of torture has a time requirement.”
You sighed heavily, “You’re the second person to tell me all that.”
“Does that not tell you something?” Tech prodded but he did it gently.
“I guess.” You said through a weary sigh as you ran your hands through the sand to distract yourself. “I handed myself over to Hemlock though. I gave up.”
“The guilt you’re experiencing over agreeing to Hemlock’s terms is natural. You-”
“It wasn’t guilt. Not wholly.” You said, your voice so quiet it barely registered over the rhythmic lull of the waves.
Tech glanced at you in surprise, but you were keeping your head down, stroking Batcher’s snout- the dog seemed to sense your distress and had nuzzled closer to you. He allowed the silence to grow as he patiently awaited further explanation from you.  
You swallowed thickly as you went to speak again. “I was relieved.” You admitted, it was the first time you’d ever said the words out loud, and you instantly wished you could take them back. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you awaited the disappointed and shameful remarks from Tech.
“What were you relieved about?” Tech asked calmly.
That hadn’t been the response you were expecting. “Um-” You searched for the words to answer him. “When I was-” You broke off and started again and you found yourself being more honest than you’d anticipated. “When I was in that training room watching Hunter be tortured and I heard Hemlock say that he was going to do the same conditioning to Crosshair again and to Wrecker too… I gave him what he wanted. Throughout my time there, he wanted me to join him and that’s what I was prepared to do. But as I said it, there was a sense of relief. Finally, I could stop fighting him. The torture he put me through would end. And in the dream- nightmare- I keep having, as much as I hate what’s happening, part of why I can’t move to help any of you is because I’m just relived it isn’t me.” You visibly tensed as you finished speaking. Saying that last part out loud caused you physical pain and your stomach churned nervously as you waited for judgement. There had been a reason you couldn’t share this with Hunter. It sounded so selfish, so pathetic.
“I understand that.”
You angled your head to face him. It was your turn to wait for him to talk.
Tech took a grounding breath before he elaborated, “In my time imprisoned there, Hemlock wanted to know all he could about you all. He knew there would be a time where he’d have to face you all again. I didn’t quite experience the same beatings you took; it was always psychological. But whenever I showed willing to give him information, all I felt in that moment was a profound relief that the torment and pain would end. Granted, that swiftly became guilt as soon as he left but I couldn’t deny the respite those few minutes of me telling him about you all gave me. Now, did you only feel relief at it being over? Or was it relief that you could join him and do his bidding?”
You thought back to that time and realised what he was getting at. “No, it was because I knew if I gave him what he wanted, then at least they wouldn’t have to go through any more agony. At the time, imprisonment felt like the better option than becoming one of his operatives and experiencing that level of hurt.”
“Precisely. Your sleep is being haunted by the worst outcome. It’s praying on the flash of relief you felt and twisting it into something more than what it was. If you accept what happened and stop fighting it, it loses its power. You didn’t do anything wrong, you acted how you needed to. The only person that has the power to blame you is yourself. No one here does, sometimes it just helps to hear it out loud once in a while and it’s true. You resisted him for as long as you physically could. Those circumstances would’ve cracked anyone.”
You looked at him thoughtfully. “Is that how you did it?” You asked quietly.
“Well, I didn’t. Not always.” Tech reminded you, assuming you were referring to how he resisted Hemlock’s torment.
“No.” You released another deep sigh. “You seem to have settled here. You’re coping with it, and you were there for a long time.”
“I was in hell on Tantiss but not so much anymore. Being reunited with you all has really helped. Though I think if I had to watch any of them get hurt the way you had to, it would be different.” As he spoke, Tech realised why Hunter had come to him for this. He was sharing this part of him with you because he knew you were the only one that would truly get it. There was no worry of judgement, no worries of saying something too jarring. You would understand him just as he understood you. “I’ve accepted what happened to me and how I reacted to it but you’re the only one that knows those particular details of my experience. Phee and my brothers do not. Family helps with some of the burden but until you’ve had the unfortunate time of living it, their support can only do so much. We need each other it would seem.” Tech said with a kind look in your direction.
You widened your eyes at his openness. You were incredibly touched by that, and you didn’t take the lightly. “Thank you, Tech.”
“You asked a question, I merely answered.”
You shot him a look, “That’s not the only thing I’m thanking you for.” After speaking to him and fully unburdening yourself to someone who could only understand where you were coming from without the worry of saying the wrong thing or being too much, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You weren’t plagued by all the horrible and conflicting feelings that had followed you since Tantiss. You could breathe. You were free. You gently squeezed his hand as you said, “Thank you for what you’ve done tonight. For all of it.”
Tech shrugged off the thanks but smiled at you all the same. “We’re family, it’s what we do.”
--
You walked through the door to your home and took your shoes off.
Hunter walked out of the bedroom as he heard you come through the door. “Hey, how was your walk?”
You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you just drank him in. You took in the way he leaned against the doorway, the book he was reading dangling from his hand. The way the soft linens of his sleep clothes framed his body. The way he’d still kept and worn the necklace you’d given him all that time ago. And the way he was looking at you with such deep care and affection, it made your heart clench and emotions clog up in your throat- you didn’t trust yourself to speak.
Hunter took your silence for upset. “I had to tell him. I thought-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you strode towards him and embraced him.
You hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” You whispered.
Dropping his book and wrapping his arms around you instantly, Hunter rested his cheek on top of your head. He didn’t need or expect you to share the details of the conversation with Tech, he’d realised that you needed a different kind of comfort and that was okay. All that mattered to him was that it helped you.
You let the warmth of his soothing hold flow through your body, and you kept your voice hushed as you said, “I want you to know that it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you it all.”
“I know.” Hunter replied softly as he caringly caressed your back. He would not break away until you wanted to.
You pressed your face into the crook of his shoulder. Even though he had sent Tech your way, you didn’t want him to feel like he’d let you down or anything along that vein. “You did everything right. I needed you there… I still need you there. I can’t get through it without you but…” The words to describe just what it was Tech gifted you got lost and you frantically searched for them so he would know why you hadn’t just come to him with it.
The last thing Hunter needed or wanted was you feeling like you had to reassure him on the issue. “Sweetheart, all I wanted was for this to get easier for you. I know that there are emotions and parts of that experience on Tantiss that I will never fully understand- as much as that kills me, I wish none of it had happened to you or Tech in the first place but that doesn’t change the fact that it did. You needed more than a shoulder to lean on, and if Tech gave you that, then that’s all that matters to me. I won’t stop being there, whatever it is you need, I’m here.”
The wave of emotion came rushing back and tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and you found yourself pressing yourself tighter to him still so there were absolutely no gaps between you. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“I love you, giving up is never an option.” Hunter murmured as he kissed the crown of your head.
“I love you too.” You croaked as you fought through the lump in your throat.
You stayed like that for a couple more minutes before you finally pulled away.
Hunter wiped away a few stray tears that had escaped your eyes. “Fancy an early night?”
“Yeah.” You said through a deep exhale as the exhaustion you’d been fighting with came crashing into you. “That sounds good.”
--
3 weeks later.
“How’s your pain? Anymore headaches?” You asked Hunter as the two of you wandered arm in arm through the main square. You had been keeping a watchful eye in the time that had passed but he hadn’t had any bad episodes of late.
“Everything feels back to normal.” Hunter replied. “And you? How are you sleeping these days?” From what he could tell, you were sleeping through the night but that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t still there.
“No nightmares at all.” You said with a relieved sigh. The weight of what you’d endured was no longer keeping you down. It had no control over you anymore. You’d thrown yourself back into mediating again and that also seemed to help a lot.
You both walked in easy silence, smiling at the clones from Tantiss who had stayed and at the merchants shouting out enticing deals and offerings from their stalls as you passed by.  
“Although, there’s one thing I need…”
You glanced at him expectantly.
“Can you try it now? I should be fine.”
You hadn’t done it since settling down here in case it was too much. “You’re sure?” You double checked.
Hunter nodded. It was the final step to the normality that he craved.
You both paused and headed over to the side walkway of the colonnade that offered shelter from the open area. You reached out into his familiar Force signature, the connection you formed with it giving you an extra sense of security and warmth. How does this feel?
Hunter closed his eyes and breathed out a serene sigh as he heard your voice in his head, but it felt like everything finally clicked back into place. Then, he felt the gentle press of your lips against his. He reacted automatically and placed his hands on your waist as he returned the embrace.
“What was that for?” He whispered against your lips as you parted.
“It’s part of the check up process.” You murmured before you took half a step back to look at him properly, but you kept your arms looped around his neck so that he was still close to you.
Hunter gave you a fond smile. “Ah, of course.” He sweetly stroked his thumb along your jawline.
You shut your eyes and leaned into his touch.
“Are you happy?” Hunter asked after a few beats of silence.
You dropped your arms and looked at him in surprise. “Yes, of course I am!” You looked at him, worry furrowing across your brow. “What brought that on?”
Hunter awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “I know things haven’t been easy since we arrived here. It didn’t get off to the peaceful start that I’d hoped for. I just want to make sure it’s still what you want and that you’re definitely feeling better.”
You were caught off guard by the emotions that caught in your throat. What did you do to deserve such a man? “I am very content and happy here; Hunter.” You took a hold of each of his hands. “I’m very content and happy being here with you.” You let out a faint, slightly embarrassed laugh, “I am very much in love with you, you silly man. Every day that I wake up beside you, every day that I get to come home to you and every day I just get to be around you is a day that reminds me that how lucky I am.” You removed your hands and lightly followed the lines of his face tattoo. “Are you happy?”
“Completely.” Hunter murmured as his eyes fluttered shut as he fell completely complaint under your touch.
“Good. Settling down here is what exactly what I want, things just weren’t settling down as quickly as I would’ve liked but it’s different now. We’re both doing much better, it’s a good thing.” You kissed his cheek and delicately brushed your fingers through the shorter strands of hair at the front of his head. I love you, that’s never changed, and it never will. Does that about cover everything?
“Almost.” Hunter said huskily as his own love for you overcame him.
Before you could question what he meant, he tugged you in tight to him and kissed you passionately. You felt him cradle the hinge of your jaw, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss and you granted him access without a second thought. You tangled your fingers in his hair and pressed yourself close to him. You allowed yourself a few minutes to just get lost in the pleasure he was giving you, but you remembered where you were and with a groan, you withdrew from his embrace.
It hurt you to pull away and from the way Hunter just insistently pushed you back against the stone column and carried on kissing and raking his teeth along your neck, he wasn’t impressed with stopping either. “We- we came here for groceries.” You hummed distractedly as you found yourself titling your head to give him easier access.
“So, we’ll get them tomorrow.” Hunter responded simply as he kissed behind your ear and brushed his fingers under your shirt and along the soft skin of your stomach.
“We have- have no f- food and-” You attempted to protest but now his mouth was doing wonderful things along your pulse point that was making you feel very lightheaded.
“That’s fine. What I’m in the mood for, only you can give me.” Hunter teasingly dipped his fingers just under the waistband of your leggings.
You forced yourself to get a grip before you were too far gone. “Get off.” You playfully shoved at his chest with an exasperated shake of your head.
Hunter inclined his head in surrender, “How about you shop, and I meet you at home?” He offered as he stopped his teasing and removed himself from you.
“Is this your bizarre way of just wanting to get out of a chore?” You joked, crossing your arms and feigning irritation.
“No, I just think that if I stay, we’re going to wind up getting done for public indecency and it would be entirely my fault.”
Despite his admission, you still saw a faint but lustful glint in his eyes and you knew he was envisioning precisely what would happen if the two of you remained by this column. And you knew both of you would decide it was worth the risk. You gulped as you hastily said before you lost control of yourself, “I’ll see you at home.”
Hunter released a low chuckle before he kissed you softly once more, the promise of what was to come still lingered behind the action despite his best attempts to keep it brief.
You took a few hesitant steps away him and then gathered yourself and went about your task- your walk brisker than before.
--
Hunter watched you before he moved out from the shelter of the pillar. He spotted Omega sitting with Lyana by the Maya tree. He called over to her.
“What’s up?” Omega asked breezily as she jogged over to him.
“Can you round up the boys and meet me at home? I’ll get Echo on comms.”
“How come?” Omega asked curiously.
“There’s a mission I’m gonna need all your help with. But it needs to just be the five of us.” He indicated to where you were making a purchase. “Think you can get Lyana to delay her return?”
“A mission? Then why can’t-” An excited gasp left her as she saw the silent but confirming look that Hunter gave her. They’d all been eagerly waiting for this. “Yes! I’m on it!” She sprinted off back to Lyana, chaotically relaying the instructions before she ran go find the others.
Hunter laughed to himself as he saw her enthusiastic departure before he hustled off back home and readied the comm channel for Echo. It didn’t take long for the clone to answer.
“You better be calling for the reason I hope you’re calling for.” Echo said by way of greeting.
“Think you can help me out?” Hunter replied with a validatory nod at the holoimage of Echo and he saw the way Echo’s shoulders lifted as he realised it was finally going to happen. Hunter had talked to them all about it in the days after arriving on Pabu and it had been met with an enthusiastic yet somehow still teasing response. It reminded him of how he felt back before the two of you officially got together, with the others just waiting for it to happen. He’d wanted to do it sooner, but your circumstances changed, and so he wanted to wait until both of you were recovered. And, whilst they’d all accepted his decision to hold off, they had been impatient for this day for both genuine well-being purposes but also because they wanted it for the two of you- his family were very supportive and insistent on him doing this. With things faring better, he felt comfortable doing it now. “I don’t want to take you away from anything urgent or-”
“Name it!” Echo said with a pleased smile.
Before he could get into what he needed Echo to do, he heard the door open. Hunter half-turned to see the crowd of eager and motivated faces made up of Omega and his brothers.  
All of them gathered round him and Echo’s hologram.
Hunter took a deep inhale and exhale. In a strange way, this was going to be one of the most important yet daunting missions he’d undertaken. “Alright, we don’t have long before she gets home. Here’s what I need…”
Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @notgonnaedit, @arctrooper69, @andreaaxy, @dominoeffectsworld, @allthingsimagines , @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff , @qvnthesia @justsomerandompersonintheworld
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birchbow · 10 months
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Gamzee often refers to himself as “pan-rotted” due to his sopor-eating habit as a wriggler (and so does pretty much everyone else at some point). He told Kurloz that he has to really focus in order to remember mission instructions a few chapters back, I think? Gamzee doesn’t have a great self image, but it seems true that he’s often slow to draw inferences unless he’s already paying attention for hints about something specific. Like his default awareness is a little more diffuse, and he has to put in deliberate effort to narrow it down on a particular problem? He attributes this to the sopor, and so does everyone else. What I’m asking is - sopor aside - does being neglected by a lusus affect a troll’s brain development? (Beyond emotional stability and the ability to form secure attachments, ouch.) Since lusii don’t talk I’m not sure about language acquisition but maybe lusii respond positively to grubs babbling? Sidenote: the fact that Gamzee has the scriptures memorized so well almost feels like his chronically understimulated pan grabbed these abundant in-person interactions with authority figures in his early schoolfeeds and ate it up like starving. Sorry this is so rambling 😅
I'm incapable of being brief, especially when I get long asks with lots to chew over, so here's a readmore!
SO There's a moment in canon where Gamzee outright says "[sopor] rots you. Rusts your motherfucking thinkpan." and I think it's up for debate to what extent that's true but also it does seem pretty reasonable that heavy/consistent drug use throughout your adolescence would leave you some cognitive issues!
(Although also, as a person who tests super well in things I intuitively Get and am interested in, but often feels slow and dull, can't fit certain subjects/concepts into my head, and has a hard time remembering all the steps of things I want to do,,,, I put a lot of myself into my characters, is what I'm saying lol.)
RE: not having a lusus, I think that probably would have way more effect than the kid who went through it would assume, yeah. Like, all trolls would know your lusus keeps you safe from predators/intruders, gives you early practice fighting/wrestling, and especially in more rural areas, scavenges and hunts for you especially when you're young. But trolls as a society definitely undervalue the part where they also provide a sense of security and affection, because you're not supposed to want or value those things as a troll!
It's hard to make direct connections since lusii only sort of resemble human parents, but there's certainly studies to show that children of neglectful human parents struggle forming the cognitive pathways they would otherwise establish, and have trouble later in life--even if your caretaker doesn't talk, it seems pretty reasonable to me that having a parental figure who fucks off for long periods of time and leaves you completely alone with no idea when they'll be back would have a pretty similar effect across species! I'm not well-educated enough on that topic to draw the parallels I would want to, but it feels like a solid theory.
Also, quite apart from any of that, there was definitely a chain of cause and effect from "dad doesn't want me and there's no food" to "...but I have sopor slime" to "this makes me less hungry and also I give less of a shit about how hungry and lonely I am" to "if I stop eating this I feel shitty and have a hard time thinking straight and there's like a decade of repressed emotions under there".
RE: scripture, one of the things that I see original-flavor/canon Gamzee do is be all in on his religion, and when that falls out from under him, reorient to the first convincing power he finds, which unfortunately for everybody is the whole mess of Doc Scratch/Li'l Cal/Lord English. It to me feels very much like a guy who has no idea how to make his own ideological support structure, and is desperately looking for someone to give him a belief system and set of rules to follow.
ANYWAY SO hopefully it's fairly clear how that carries forward in a universe where instead, he gets a supportive church that helps him sober up and channels all his deeply-repressed rage into "hey, those aliens over there need conquering, go kill em", and also he's offered these books that are like. The rules. And knowing them gets him approval, and reassures him when he feels like a fuckup, and it turns out he can learn things, if they're things that fit in his brain right, and that's reassuring because he genuinely thinks most of his failings are his own fault for wanting sopor, and Alternian addiction support boils down to "do that again and we'll cull you" so they sure the fuck don't have a compassionate attitude about recovery or good information into after-effects, so everybody else is also just like "yeah, probably you fucked up your brain, idk, git gud".
This is a very lengthy way of agreeing with you lmao. The feedback loop of "oh you're pretty good at this" from authority figures, and it being a topic that he naturally had an interest in, definitely is a big part of why he's so deeply into it.
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laufire · 2 months
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Author Questionnaire Tag Game
I was tagged by @aninkwellofnectar a few days ago (ty!)
About Me
When did you start writing?
Pretty much as soon as I knew how. I remember writing short stories about a fairy –a very early prototype of what later would become Eva, my first OC–, when I was around 6, 7 years old. Back then I also illustrated them, though the lack of practice means that I probably can’t match my skill back then lol. I also remember writing “fanfic” based on a little children’s book about a lost baby whale. I don’t know which one came first lol. It was in my early teens when I started writing in earnest, in this ancient computer that gave up on me, making me lose a lot of what were probably terrible, but very imaginative stories 😔
Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?
When I write it’s almost wholly in the fantasy genre, though as it is vast, that can look very, very differently. Currently I happen to be reading two books whose styles and themes match my own writing, or what I want it to be: “The Bloody Chamber and other stories” by Angela Carter, and Olvidado Rey Gudú by Ana María Matute, but I also read plenty of books from genres I don’t write in: mystery, non-fiction, poetry, historical fiction (though most of it was contemporary in its time), etc.
Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?
There are authors whose prose I envy and I like to think can influence my own (though I know that’s an ambitious goal I have yet to reach): Angela Carter, Vladimir Nabokov, Hope Mirrlees… I would die happy, if I was ever compared to the likes of them lol.
Can you tell me a little about your writing space?
My preferred place is in my bedroom, at my desk, in my laptop. Though lately I’ve moved to the living room’s table, where there’s air conditioner :))). I also write A LOT on my phone, mainly when I’m away from home or in the public transport.
What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?
Reading. Not just in my own genre(s), but in general. For example, one of my stories was reshaped after reading a non-fiction book that analysed the history of Lois Lane’s character, introducing me to the concept of sob sister (a female journalist stuck in the advice columns for the lovelorn), leading to the creation of an original character and a new direction and more grounded historical setting for the tale.
I also find poetry and music a good source of inspiration. There are several instrumental playlists on youtube that instantly put me in the mood to a particular story or ~mood, thanks to long-term self-conditioning :P
Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?
It’s not unlikely, though it’s often not straightforward, and more about little details, specific dynamics (especially family or gender dynamics), and so on. I do use places I know as inspiration from settings, to transmit the feeling I want them to give to the audience. In that sense, growing up in a rural town and then living in a very busy city has been a privilege, for the variety that has offered.
Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?
The fight to regain lost agency, dysfunctional families and communities and the struggles to escape them or live within their constrains, “love is not enough”, the relationships between women in all their forms. None of these surprise me, as they’re things I’ve always been drawn to in other people’s stories.
My Characters
Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?
Lucretia, Lucretia, Lucretia. Imperatrix of my heart. She is the protagonist of the novella I’m currently drafting; one with a villainous vent, but the hero in her own journey, of course. There are other protagonists I might love more, but she’s the one occupying my mind right now.
The story is about her, a visionary vampiress belonging to a matriarchal society of vampires with praying mantis-like habits, who saw the (so far incidental to the plot lol) zombie apocalypse as an opportunity to subjugate humanity. However, she has enemies among her own people; namely, Dana, a vampiress who once committed high treason and paid dearly for it, who’s groomed her daughter Raina to become Lucretia’s political rival.
But Lucretia runs a tight ship in her Underground Elysium. She rose from the lowest depths of her society to the very top, she’s calculating, paranoid and pitiless, and she won’t allow anyone to rob her of her hard-earned power.
(have a little "teaser" here)
Also, a small shout out to Jason Todd, in terms of where my head is at for fanfiction, because detective comics comics truly has me in its clutches. Again smh.
Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?
There are a few candidates, but I feel I would’ve fit in well with the group in one of my series, “The Wicked Witches of Trickstown”, back when I was their age. Even when they don’t always fit that well with each other LOL, each of them is someone I could get along with, from the scrappy, easy-going Sadie, to the sceptic and abrasive Gillian, the intuitive and quiet Denise, the ambitious control-freak Judith, the zen and adaptable Dinah, or the kind and non-conformist Leo.
Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?
Probably everyone in “Underground Elysium” lol, except Graciela (Lucretia’s human maid; she always looks among those with artistic talent, and she’s an excellent ballerina. Melancholic, and more than meets the eye). And maaaaaaaybe Raina, but she’s still under construction.
Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.
It’s too varied to say something so definite. I often feel the need to write a particular kind of character, something I find myself craving and not finding so easily in other works; this was the case for Lucretia, in my quest for cold, unendingly ambitious female protagonists who create their own enemies <3. Or something or someone else sparks my imagination, like with sob sister!Lois, and I pull from that threat until I have something fully-formed.
Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?
I love writing characters that move things forward in the story, for better or worse. Characters who fail and regress and who have unconventional developments, who yearn for freedom and who have goals they’re willing to fight for, though they won’t always win, and even if they do, a pyrrhic victory is very much in the cards.
How do you picture your characters?
I like having solid face claims, as I feel it helps me visualise them much better. For example, for Lucretia I picture DeWanda Wise, an actress I met in the second season of Underground, one of my favourite shows. For Dana, please picture Jessica Chastain with medium-length hair in an understated yet classy black pantsuit lol.
My Writing
What's your reason for writing?
It’s what I do, and I can’t imagine not doing it. I’d rather keep this and have everything else removed from my life than the reverse, as dramatic as that will sound.
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?
I share little of my writing (yet), but what I love most is when, even just with a small excerpt, I can tell I’ve awoken someone’s curiosity; that they’ve given thought to what I’ve written, approaching it with a “yes, and” mentality that shows me they’re engaged with what I have to tell.
How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?
My grandest ambitions are about people finding my writing captivating, vivid, and thoughtful. Something that they’ll ruminate on and pause at, maybe pondering what they’ve read or enjoying a turn of phrase or description.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
I like to think that my characters feel memorable and novel, and that the work I put on creating an ~ambiance with my narration pays off.
What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?
I’ve been told I’m good at crafting interesting, gut-wrenching dynamics between characters, and at making them visualise a space.
How do you feel about your own writing?
There is definitely a lot of work ahead of me, both in terms of craft and in terms of consistency. I tend to fall prey to perfectionism, though I try to work with that instead of completely setting it aside, because it’s also a motor to my drive for self-improvement. Writing in a language that’s not my mother tongue adds some complications, but it’s also something I’ve found motivating.
If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?
Yes. I write from a need to see the stories I conjure in my mind in action, but also from a love of the process itself, difficult as it might be. External recognition and praise is very nice, and validating, and I love getting it, but ultimately I know I can live without it, if not as my happiest, as long as I myself am proud and appreciative of what I write.
Fandom has been good practise in that sense, because though it’s easier (way easier, in some cases) to get attention there than with original fiction, my tastes tend to be niche enough that one (1) comment in a fic is already reason for extreme celebration lol. I know what to expect.
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?
As of now, not really. At most I think of my friends and mutuals, the very few people likely to read me, and hope they enjoy what I wrote, in the spaces we share, but it does not factor in my decisions (unless I’m writing a personalised prompt). If I end up trying to publish commercially, in whatever manner I choose, it will inevitably enter my calculations. Though as I aim to land a different primary source of income, I hope I can still have room to prioritise my own preferences, as much as possible.
tagging: @richiepapes @snowdropsnake @wildhuntwritings @nightingalesighs @angelfishofthelord (no pressure)
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angeygirl · 1 year
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Dave Miller X reader: In which Dave and the author both embarrass themselves
Saw a post by @dovewingkinnie and took it as a writing prompt lol, Anyway, enjoy Dave being pathetic and socially oblivious.
Uh, alternate timeline where there's not as much of an age gap? Also he's less grouchy then normal but there's a reason for that
Probably cringe but I am free
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today really could have gone better. An angry mom had decided to take out her son’s “ruined” birthday on you, when you saw the whole thing and could confirm that he was the one who started the fight. He was like 11 and picking on a 7 year old, why wouldn’t you get involved? You hadn’t even been that rough with him, kid was just a brat who couldn’t take being told no. But now here you stood, enduring the barrage of insults to your intelligence and demands to speak with a manager. You weren't paid enough for this.
“Alright, what’s all this?” A voice rasped lazily. Oh great. Dave was on day shift again. Honestly, who let this man be around children? The boy who supposedly couldn’t do anything wrong cowered behind his ‘noble’ mother, who took a few paces back. Sure, tall people could be intimidating, but it was more about Dave having the worst vibes, worst posture and worst breath of just about anyone you knew.
“This one here” The woman snapped with a gesture at you. “interrupted a harmless game my son was playing with one of this little friends. He plays with smaller children all the time and I promise no one ever gets hurt. Someone was just trying to play hero and completely ruined the day.”
Dave quirked an eye brow and looked at you.
You glance at the floor. “That’s not really what happened...” Trying to drown the kid in the ball pit despite the younger one’s protests didn’t sound like harmless fun.
Dave shrugged. “Seems like you’re makin’ more of a ruckus then anyone here.”
The woman began to launch a tirade against Dave, who only stared at her blankly and mumbled ‘yeah yeah, care to get out?’. It wasn’t long before the attack began to have an effect. Something about the guard seemed timid as the woman's voice rose. “And speaking of the employees in this place, do they not have any hiring standards? Why you have to be the most unqualified guard I’ve ever seen. Have you even showered?”
“Just last Friday.” He says with a tiny smirk.
Her face crinkles. “Disgusting. You’re disgusting. And so is this place.”
“You said that already. Now would you care to get out?”
“Not until I get a refund!”
“We don’t give refunds. Says so at the counter.”
“Where’s your-”
“Manager’s in the back stuffing bodies in the animatronics. Want me to get him?”
You don’t outright shudder, but it did always make you uneasy how comfortable Dave was with disturbing jokes.
The woman’s nose wrinkles again. “You really think that is appropriate to say? In the restaurant it was rumoured to happen? With a child right here?”
“Eh, kids love gory stuff like that. Now if our restaurant is so crap, why don’t you just leave?”
The woman grabs her son’s hand and storms out of the building. Dave grins at you with his crooked smile. “That takes care of that.”
“Yeah.” You roll your eyes. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.”
Dave’s grin turns a little shy. “Rescue?”
You shrug. “I dunno.”
He slouches nervously. “What do you mean by rescue?”
“Uh? Nothing really. I mean I guess you could say you vanquished a 'witch' on my behalf.” You add with a chuckle.
Dave smiles sheepishly.
The rest of the afternoon passes uneventfully. You take a quick break before your shift closes out, only to find Dave in the break room fumbling with the coffee pot.
He smiles when he notices you, and slides into the chair next to yours. You try not to scoot your chair back, but even without the invasion of your personal space, his breath is just nasty.
“So… are you doing anything this weekend?” He asks.
“Uh… not much, just going to see a movie with my friends.”
He nods. “I see. There’s only one movie theater in town, I assume you’d go there?”
“I guess so.” You scoot back just a little.
“When?”
“I dunno, we haven't worked it out yet.”
Dave nods and sips his coffee without breaking eye contact.
“What about you?”
He glances away. “Uh… well, I supposed I’m an open book. Haven't decided on anything yet but that just means I’m free if someone were to... invite me to something.”
You nod uncertainly.
“Or! or maybe I’ll just sleep, who knows? Heh.”
“Yeah, you look like you need it, buddy.”
He cracks a shy little smile. The next day passes without much incident, but you notice Dave is definitely trying to chat it up more then usual. On your lunch break you find him sulking in the break room.
“You ok there Dave?”
He sort of whimpers. “Fine.”
“Dave, you are never fine.”
He glares up at you. “Didn’t think I’d need a lunch, turns out I do. And I refuse to touch the pizza in this place.”
You sit down and open your bag, somehow feeling too bad for him not to help. “I’ve got a turkey sandwich here if you want to split it.”
He perks up immediately. “You mean that?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” You hand Dave half of the sandwich and it’s down his throat before you realize he took it. You look up in shock while he smiles awkwardly.
“Uh th-thanks.”
“Yeah... No problem?”
He turns away and giggles slightly, yes, giggles like a shy school girl. He’s annoyingly friendly the rest of the day, but all at once, pulls back and won’t speak. No wonder he was considered the office creep. His weird behaviour rolls over to the next day. At this point you’re best off trying to ignore him, but it’s hard. He’s got such a pleading look on his face while he stumbles through small talk that you don’t know how to tell him off. Luckily the shift manager notices him abandoning his ‘post’ and barks at him to get back to work.
The manager pulls you aside. “You ok there? Looks like Miller won’t leave you alone.”
You nod. “Yeah, he’s not creeping or anything, It’s just annoying.”
“If he tries any funny business, we'll move him back to the night shift, should probably get him on night shift anyway since he refuses to shower.”
You and Dave manage to avoid each other the rest of the day, but as you pack up your things to leave, Dave slides a note over to you and shuffles off. He hangs by the doorway a moment, watching to see if you’ll read it and then scurries away.
You unfold the piece of paper.
‘meet me outside freddy’s at 7’
Oh. No.
Oh no.
No, no, NO!
Dave just awkward, right? Harmlessly awkward, socially clumsy and too forgetful to shower or pack a lunch, right? He wasn't thinking of luring you to the back of Freddy’s around closing time to be less suspicious and then kidnap you or anything, was he? Maybe it was just your manager’s warning putting that idea in your head, but frankly you didn’t think it would be worth it.
You feel a gaze on the back of your neck and realize Dave is still behind you. You shove the note in your pocket and head home. Once there you do some chores, make yourself dinner and settle down to watch TV. It’s almost quarter past seven when you remember the note in your pocket. You take it out a reread it.
“Maybe I’m overthinking...” Dave did seem pretty harmless but honestly, why would you even want to meet up with him? You toss the note in the trash and don’t think about it the rest of the night.
By the next morning you almost forgot about the note, so it takes you a good while to understand why Dave looks so much more sulky then normal. His slouch is less lazy and more sad and he almost seems to be pouting, just a little. Then again, his face was usually locked into one weird expression or another.
The worst thing of it was the way he tilted his head down and looked up at you. A grown man was trying his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. As the day went on, his sulking seemed more genuine. Ah geez, he was pretty pathetic, wasn’t he? Before you went home, you stopped him in the break room.
“Dave, what’s all this about?”
His eyes glint almost tearfully. “You didn’t answer my note.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to.”
“You... didn’t?” His voice nearly breaks. “But you said I rescued you. You gave me your sandwich!”
“You ‘rescuing’ me the other day was a joke, and I didn’t need the whole sandwich since I don’t mind the pizza here so much as you.”
He sniffles. “So none of that meant anything to you?”
“I was just being polite.”
“That! Being polite! Who else would do that for me? Nobody here for certain. I know we hadn't known each other very long, but judging by the way you asked if I was alright earlier it's obvious you care about me!”
“It's really not that much of a commitment. Really, you're overthinking things. Maybe if you showered more other people wouldn't be so turned off by you.”
He tilts his head like a confused dog. “That’s all?”
“Well, it’s hygiene and not being a creep and not joking about dead kids in the robots.”
Dave rubs his wrist nervously. “So you don’t have feelings for me?”
You shudder. “Not a chance.”
He sighs. “I must have jumped the gun. M-my apologies.” He sniffles.
“Don’t worry about it? And just to be clear, you weren't going to kidnap me if I had shown up alone?”
“No promises.” Dave laughs.
As much as that sounded an alarm bell in your head, it sounded like another dark joke.
“No really, I just wanted to talk. I wanted to know why you were ignoring me if you had feelings for me.”
“Well, I don’t. And let’s just keep the small talk to the break room? It’s kinda hard to get my work done with you giving me puppy eyes the whole time.”
Dave nods, and a tint of red spreads in his pale face. "I'm sorry if I was acting..."
"Creepy?"
He nods again. "I wasn't sure what to do. You just... the thought of someone taking an interest in me was a bit overwhelming. I haven't been in love in a very long time, and even if my feelings towards you weren't very strong, imagined attraction can be just as powerful as the real thing."
"Eh, I'm sure there's someone for you out there... somewhere. But you'd have to be willing to clean yourself up first."
"I appreciate the advice, though I don't think it'd be practical right now."
"You'd be surprised how often its relevant."
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Note
I am so sorry, but I truly must be the one to ask this. What do you think the Cullens and Volturi’s a/b/o alignments/secondary genders are within the omegaverse? How do you think venom effects heats/rut patterns? Is it that upon turning only males have them as they’re the only ones capable of reproducing via hybrid? (Lol not a fic writer just want to know your thoughts)
...
Anon.
Come on.
Bold of you.
But come on.
I also like how you're weasling out of writing your own fic to answer these questions. Really, anon, your guess is as good as mine here.
Do You Have an Answer, Muffin?
No.
And it's not because I'm weaseling out or because this is an entirely made-up fanfiction concept: it's because it is entirely dependent on the porn the author wishes to write.
But What Do You Mean?
A/B/O gender alignments in fics is entirely dependent on who the author wants to be on top. The ageless question in slash fanfics and the cause of many a heated internet debate. BUT WHO IS ON TOP?!!!! WHO IS THE SEME?!!!!
Authors want whoever they want "on top" and then we get alpha characteristics on top of other slashy slashness to justify why this character is totally for realz on top.
It has nothing to do with anything.
Just how the author wants the porn to go down and who they want to get pregnant.
I could try to guess based off of fandom tropes and fanon cliches except, if you take a gander at the Ao3 shipping stats, the canon heterosexual pairings in Twilight are in the lead. When we do expand outside of them it's to the very Cullen pairings of things like Jasper/Bella and if we're getting really spicy Alice/Bella or Rosalie/Bella. Now we could do the wild and bold move of having heterosexual/female slash pairings that are ALSO somehow how A/B/O but it's well known that A/B/O has its lifeblood in male slash.
So, we're looking at... Jakeward? Pretty much? In which case if we go with what fandoms usually do... Edward's the omega and having the baby due to being shorter and skinnier and prettier than Jacob.
Beyond that it'd be me pontificating on who wins the coin flip of A/B/O to get whatever gender they get. Or, I could be that ass and say "oh but they're all Beta, you see" as Beta is generally in omegaverse statistically more likely (except when it isn't for strange reasons and what even is beta for in those fics? Honestly)
But How Would You Do It?
If you're forcing me to be in some alternate Twilight universe where they're also omega...
Well, caveat, this depends on if I'm doing this for a fic or not which may change things in service of the greater plot. Yes, even in an A/B/O fic, people, three should be at least some semblance of a plot. Somewhere. Somehow.
I'd decide via coin flip who gets what. It's a random genetic thing where a vampire is more likely than not Beta with relatively few Alphas or Omegas. It has nothing to do with personality or sexuality, it's just a weird genetic coin toss that affects relatively few people.
In terms of the Omega pregnancy thing... well, this would dramatically change the world of Twilight. Either these children would be known about and be illegal for being immortal children or else it'd be very well known that Omega vampires can produce offspring. Omegas would be desperately sought after by covens wanting children or covens with Alphas who are gifted. And I imagine many more humans might be turned on the off chance that they could end up a highly valued Omega.
Regardless, the Renesmee debacle would likely not happen or not in the same manner as children are a known quantity in Twilight. Now, I'm sure they didn't expect human Bella to get pregnant via Edward (who is statistically likely to be Beta here) but life is full of little surprises like that, isn't it?
And much of the plot of Twilight would be spent in angst as no one could guarantee that Edward and Bella will be compatible sexually due to the random coin flip of A/B/O that occurs upon turning.
Bella, I'm sure, assures Edward that her love is so strong it doesn't matter. Now, this may work out and it may... not.
Otherwise in terms of heat/rut patterns...
Nope, I can't even pretend to care, man.
Followers, you get to decide, which porn floats your boat best.
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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years
Text
Baby // Headcannons
words //
warnings // non really, this is teeth rotting fluff, any deisre for children after this is not my fault, blame Måneskin 😂
pairing // Måneskin members x GN!Reader
author's note // lol i decided to use these photos cause it looks more aesthetically pleasing. anyways i hope you enjoy the headcannons also don't forget the "sleepover" on sunday yayyyyy...
request // yes here
summary // Måneskin as parents
Damiano David
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damiano as a father would be the absolute sweetest
the man looks intimidating in photos but the moment he opens his mouth is the sweetest
thus the conclusion that he’d be the softest father in existence
will be extremely hands on raising your kid the whole time
he refuses to not do his absolute best to be there as much as possible for your guys’ child
will never complain about having to change diapers
for some reason I imagine damiano to be the type of father that would take baths with his child
“look, look at daddy’s hair”
while he has some kind of ‘intricate’ hairstyle with tons of foam all around it
will literally cry for pretty much every milestone of the child
“di-did they just laugh? Y/N, our child just laughed, stop laughing at me!”
meanwhile he is borderline sobbing
i can also imagine him if not crying just laughing in excitement at something they do
like say your guys’ child has taken up some kind of sport or martial art, they will show the most recent thing they learned to damiano and he will start giggling in pleasant surprise
“Dio mio, amore, that was fucking awsome!”
will have a hard time not cursing in front of the child sometimes
but he’s working on it
will take tons of walks around the city, in parks and stuff, together
can just imagine him in nature, holding hands with this tiny little human being
ahuaifjn my heart dudes
will be supportive of them no matter what
be it the child’s sexuality, gender identity, career and hobbies
as long as they can be safe he doesn’t mind at all
will try not to cry when his kid will move away
if they move somewhere close by rest assured he will never not be at their house
“you know dad, you have a house of your own, don’t you like it better?”
“nah, the sun hits this place really nicely, i enjoy it”
will def take you and the kid along when traveling, when possible of course
I can also just imagine him having his kid on stage at a show and just kind of playing around and singing and awwwwwwwwwwwww
Why do I want this? i don't even want kids!!!!!!
Thomas Raggi
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Thomas is a similar case to Damiano but of course with his differences
instead of taking walks around he just takes naps with them
you can not even count the times you have come home, calling for thomas and your kid and neither responds
so you get worried a bit but then you see them napping on the couch
will nap with your kid in the weirdest places
can and will fall asleep together on a chair in the balcony/yard
I feel like he would spoil them a bit?
especially if he’s been away for long, he will return home baring gifts
from a cute shirt, to something pretty expensive that reminded him of them
will always bring snacks from different countries, like chocolates for belgium or nougat from greece (yes it is kind of a traditional candy in some greek islands especially)
might not take baths with them like damiano but i can see thomas just playing around with the hose outside in the yard
“Dad, no it’s cold! stoooop it!”
“Oh come on, it's burning out here! don’t you love the little cooling effect?”
will know when not to throw water at your kid of course, it is always done in good fun when they’ve gone outside with the solemn reason of playing with the water
dance parties at the most random moments
like a song they both like plays at a store
they will start dancing in the middle of the store
sometimes you act like you dont know them
others you join it
how sweet
ok but like picknics at the park
you just lay in a blanket, thomas and your child are non stop playing around until they get tired
and when thomas sits down the kid is still all over him and they are being so cuddly with each other
will always remind them of their jacket
Victoria De Angelis
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victoria would feel a little awkward at first
idk but although i'm sure she is the sweetest with children i feel that she will not be sure how to act at first
maybe she would view your baby as very very fragile at first and be very afraid of her movements as to not do anything to hurt them
i can not stop thinking of victoria when her child is sick or feels down
she will immediately go mama bear at them
“Are you feeling alright?”
“Does your head hurt?”
“Do you feel cold?”
why do i feel she would get into superstitions sometimes
“i should call your mum, Y/N (if you're from a culture that believes in that). someone gave them the evil eye. of course they did, you're amazing!”
feels very proud of the outfits she gives your kids i swear
“this is perfect! Y/N look how cute they look!! You have the matching shirt, right?”
will go above and beyond for them
doesn’t care what time it is, if her baby needs her she’s there
tickle fights are a must in your household
she will always laugh hysterically even if your kid doesn’t actually tickle her
the cutest thing is them two just sleeping together in the car when going somewhere
poor chilli now has to endure to children bothering her lol
victoria would be extremely protective of your child, not only if they got hurt but even with the idea that they could
will always be proud mama™
"they are amazing, how can i not be proud"
Ethan Torchio
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Remember how I said Victoria would feel kind of scared of doing something wrong and hurting your kid?
ethan is even more worried
idk, i see this man as an absolute gentle giant
i can see him just staring at the baby the first time he sees them with so much adoration, as if in a trance
now…
out of all of them ethan is the “strictest”
i feel like you would be the one to try to sneak desert before dinner and ethan would just scold both you and your child
“Y/N, I told them no before! Come on!”
just like them all he is willing to go to the end of the world for that kid
will not hesitate to bring them the moon if he could, no questions asked
i feel like he would be the one your child confides in the most
like i can imagine your teenager sneaking out, something going wrong and calling ethan first!
he will die from the worry when he gets the call but as i said will go to the ends of the world for them
ethan will never even once yell at them
scold them a few times? sure
but yell? not even once!
now imagine this man with a little child wearing his shirt at the beach, walking around and showing them the beach
“You see those lights over there? They are windmills. They collect energy from the wind. how cool is that”
very close to my grandmother pointing out the windmills she’s seeing every summer for the past 20 years lol
he is so wholesome, will turn everything into a learning opportunity
i feel like he would be the father that is so embarrassing to the child because of how wholesome he is some times
but both them and their friends would confide in him
will literally father their friends if they need it omg
he is the type to see you holding them for the first time, or just holding them and doing something and just getting horny
“come on amore, let’s have one more!”
“ethan no”
he’s like telepathically communicate with them
it gets creepy but he does that to you two
he just knows when you need anything
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast
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icequeenbae · 3 years
Text
Daddy’s Struggles (m) | BBH
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Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader
Dad!Baek, domestic au, established relationship (duh), a slice of life, fluff, a lil smutty(!)
Warnings: some friskiness between mom and dad if you know what I mean, mentions of teenagers watching porn (I’m not promoting it, you guys lol), also this gets fluffin’ sweet get a bucket in advance
Word Count: ~2.2k
Summary: Baekhyun overhears your teenage daughter watching porn. You have to handle a small crisis.
Event: the BBH day @supermwritersnet​
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Author’s Note: This… came out of nowhere:D I blame my dear beta @baekshoney​​ – we'd once discussed the idea of Baek being a teenager’s parent (in relation to a different story). Don’t we all love dilf Baek though? lol Anyways, this is a tiny glimpse into his future as a cute af father and husband <3 Let’s name him puppydad!Baek 😊 I hope this lifts your mood a little on a day like this!
On that note – happy birthday to our genius idol (aka mochi-cheeked hyperactive puppy), I wish that he stays healthy and happy and on the radar throughout the next 2 years (and forever)!! Don’t be too sad, guys, he’s hopefully going to finally lead a somewhat normal life for a bit 💞 Ok, I’ll let you get to it already~
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A yawn.
You rubbed your tired eyes and dictated a reminder for tomorrow morning to your AI assistant. It was pretty late and you had your hands full all day with your kids. And while family time was always great, there hadn’t been a spare moment for you to tend to your own business. But two decades of dealing with your hyperactive yet loveable children (and husband) taught you to make the most out of what you got. So you were doing just that, organizing your errands and sorting important emails after everyone had scurried off to their rooms, and your husband — to the shower.
Baekhyun was quite exhausted himself, so you realized he must’ve gotten in the common bathroom by the time you exited the one in your bedroom. He did that sometimes when you locked the door out of habit. Not that he couldn’t come in, it was just… You used to scold him pretty badly for breaking into the bathroom. Picking locks wasn’t something you wanted your juniors to acquire as a habit. They had enough of their daddy’s traits as it was.
The thought made you chuckle. Your eldest son had already outgrown his father by at least five and a half – gotta be precise here! – centimeters (which made daddy very proud, but also a teeny tiny bit jealous). Despite his height, which, you were sure, was going to break the golden 180cm in the next few months, your boy’s build was exactly the same as Baekhyun’s. His shoulders were broad, his hips wide, and his waist was naturally narrow. Legs long and lean, and eyes always mischievous. He was eighteen and already seemed more like Baekhyun’s best friend rather than his child. Being both the hyung and the oppa of the household, he was the most mature out of the bunch, and always a big help to his parents.
Your middle child, your precious daughter, resembled you a lot. Her wavy hair and her big eyes with the longest eyelashes either of you’d ever witnessed. Seriously, that was the first thing Baekhyun’s friends had commented on when they came by to meet your new baby. ‘Is this even normal? Can she see through those? That’s one pretty baby!’ She was even prettier now, at her sweet sixteen, cheeks still a bit chubby, which – just as her button nose – were definitely an homage to her dad. Not to mention her hands that were even more delicate and exquisite than his.
The youngest, your six-year-old son, was a blessing. You weren’t planning to have more children after the first two until you suddenly thought… why not? Cannot say that you weren’t a little bit under the influence at the time. It was one of those rare weekends when your kids had a sleepover at their grandparents’, so you had the whole house to yourself. Deciding to have a domestic date and enjoy shameless daytime drinking, you indulged in a whole glass of wine before both of you were tipsy and giggling, then you added one more to the mix. At that point, all kinds of crazy things were brought up.
‘We should do this more often…’ You informed your partner. ‘This is exciting! We can walk around naked the way we used to before we had teenagers in the house!’
‘I miss our naked Saturdays…’ Baekhyun whined, almost spilling his wine while trying to sip it gracefully. ‘Now I barely even see you naked with your shower locking obsession!’
Pursing your lips, you dismissed his complaint.
‘After that incident… You cannot blame me for my caution.’
The incident was, well, your son needing to use the bathroom while his sister was taking too long and heading to the one in your bedroom. He nearly walked in on… an adult scene.
‘He didn’t even see anything, Y/N-ah,’ your husband grumbled, but you waved him off, downing your drink as if it was a shot of tequila rather than a glass of wine.
‘I don’t see a problem though,’ he blinked at you, not following. ‘We’re alone. Why not… See each other naked again?’
‘Right. We can also- Y/N-ah!’
‘What?’ You eyed his suddenly enthusiastic form with nothing but suspicion.
‘We can create a distraction!’
‘Hm?’
‘A distraction for them. So that they’d be busy with something else while we’re away.’
‘Hmm?’ You still couldn’t locate the source of his excitement.
‘Lemme show you,’ he slurred, tugging on your wrist to get you up and dragging you to the bedroom.
Let’s have another baby – that was his brilliant idea. Had you both not been such poor drinkers, one of you would’ve thought this through.
Nevertheless, you were glad that you didn’t. Because your little angel, who could sometimes be more of a tiny demon, to be frank, was the single sweetest thing to ever exist on planet Earth. He had his entire family wrapped around his little finger, and you – most of all. How could anyone blame you? That troublemaker was the spitting image of his dad and had a personality to match — just as playful and affectionate.
The chill spring breeze from the window licked at the bare skin of your arm, causing you to shiver slightly, coming back from the land of reminiscing. You stretched on the bed, noticing how protruding your nipples became from the cold even while hidden by the gentle fabric of your nightgown. Pulling the covers up, you grunted under your breath, wondering what was taking Baekhyun so long.
Just as you did, the door cracked open, and your husband sauntered into the room.
‘Ah finally, I thought I needed to go rescue you again,’ you chuckled.
That had happened before. He once used the common bathroom to shower before bed and ended up captured by your daughter, who was around six or seven at the time, in the hallway. She then demanded cuddles, knowing that her father was too weak to turn his precious girl down and send her back to bed. You found them both huddled up asleep on the couch, with your husband’s head tilted dangerously to the side. Terrible sleeping postures always had consequences, so you spared him the agony of the next morning, waking him up mercifully and helping to get your little girl to her bed. This was only one of many occasions – Baekhyun was a softie.
This time, however, he was a bit stupefied.
He didn’t react to your remark and seemed like he was going on autopilot when he came closer and sat on the bed.
You lifted the covers, inviting him to join you, and he followed your lead, still staring at the wall across the room.
‘Yeobo,’ you called, getting slightly alarmed. ‘Are you okay?’
He blinked, the stupor breaking, and looked at you with astounded eyes.
‘I- I think,’ he began, making you shift to face him properly. ‘I think I just overheard our daughter watching porn!’
His voice lowered to a whisper by the end of that sentence.
‘Oh my god,’ you whispered back. ‘How do you figure?’
‘I was walking down the hallway, and I thought I heard something from her room. I didn’t fully register what it was, but now that it processed… It was definitely porn!’
The signs of distress on his face almost caused you to break down in a fit of laughter. You held it in with all you got. Fathers and daughters, the eternal struggle.
‘First of all, ew. Aren’t you even a little bit ashamed to be eavesdropping on your kids like that?’ You didn’t let him protest. ‘Also, how do you even know it was porn, you know she sometimes mumbles and whimpers in her sleep. Like someone else we know…’
Giving him a pointed look, you leaned over his chest to turn the lights to the lowest mode, leaving the room dimly lit. It was always effective when you wanted to help him relax.
‘I wasn’t ea- And you think I can’t tell what porn sounds like? There are some generic… sounds. That give it away.’
‘When was the last time you watched it?’ You murmured, eyeing him curiously.
Of all people, you knew best how short his attention span was. Sometimes it could work to your advantage. Like right now, when you needed to de-escalate this before you could reason with him.
‘I- wh- I don’t know, probably when you were pregnant,’ he recalled. ‘The third one was somehow the toughest on me. You looked way too attractive for a heavily pregnant lady, let me tell you.’
‘Heavily pregnant??’ You scoffed, softening right after. ‘Well, you have a point, he was pretty huge. I swear, if he doesn’t grow up to be taller than Chanyeol, I’d be offended. That boy’s giant head prolonged my healing by at least a month.’
Baekhyun sighed and looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to that time.
‘He was the only one who caused you to tear, right?’
‘Yeah. Which is weird, considering that he was my third one. Ah well, I guess I’m not getting any younger…’
‘Aren’t you though? I’m constantly being asked about my pretty young wife,’ Baekhyun smiled at you charmingly. ‘And you only became prettier after the third pregnancy. I say it’s the hormones.’
Your cunning little plan was working. He was incredibly easy to distract.
‘Tell me the truth, was it the boobs? Or my butt? I did gain the most weight with the little daredevil, that’s for sure.’
‘It was all of you. You always looked so sexy when pregnant, I just wanted to have you all to myself,’ he cooed at you. ‘To feed you handpicked strawberries. And smother you with kisses. My beautiful young wife.’
At some point during this conversation, you shuffled closer to each other, now cuddled up snugly on the bed. Your finger slowly traced abstract patterns on his chest, happily exploiting the access to his skin where his pajama shirt was unbuttoned.
‘Ah, you’re just saying that to get under my nightgown,’ you batted your eyelashes at him, and he shook his head.
‘Maybe a little, but that’s true. And it’s not surprising that people are noticing – you are younger than me.’
‘A couple of years is nothing at our age,’ you murmured, bending your knee and moving your leg slightly up his to get cozy.
‘Well, you know what people say… Small kids make parents younger. Wanna have another one?’ He nudged you gently and laughed at the dirty look you gave him.
‘Yeobo- please don’t make jokes like this. I’d rather look for other elixirs of youth than go through that entire ordeal again.’
You knew that he was kidding, but the thought made you shiver.
‘I know, honey, I know. Like I said, you’re not in need of any elixirs.’
At this you relaxed, melting into his shoulder, and guiding his arm to wrap around you, warming your exposed shoulders.
‘Well, Mr Byun, same to you. Still as charming as two decades ago.’
‘Hey, I’d like to think that I’m more charming now. The experience and all.’
‘Who helped you gain all that experience though?’ You poked him lightly, and a low chesty laugh escaped his lips.
‘Of course, it was my one and only, my young, and beautiful, and smart and sexy little wife,’ he punctuated each compliment with a chaste kiss to your cheeks, nose, lips, and neck.
You squirmed in his arms.
‘Ah, you make a woman go mad,’ you purred into his lips mockingly.
He snickered softly, ready to lean in, but then stopped abruptly.
‘Wait a second- What about-’
‘Baekhyun…’ You murmured as he fussed on the bed.
‘I should probably go in there, and-’
‘And what? Embarrass your daughter?’ You held him down. ‘She’s sixteen, honey, it’s just the hormones. We’ve both been there. Let her be.’ You nuzzled his neck, pressing your lips to his sensitive skin lazily.
His mind was growing cloudy again since your hand was now caressing his inner thigh foxily. He’d probably realized what you were doing by now, but you were right, so he allowed you to sway him into giving the idea of an immediate intervention up.
‘Besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t be nearly as appalled if that was our eldest,’ you scoffed and added in an exaggerated tone. ‘Never took you for a sexist.’
‘But- he’s eighteen, and she- she’s my little girl…’ He mumbled in a small voice, hazed further by your not-so-subtle seduction. ‘I can’t let her- watch that-’
‘Don’t worry, yeobo,’ you whispered soothingly in his ear, slipping your hand into his loose pants. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Without you. No need to traumatize the poor girl, that’s how daddy issues develop.’
‘You should know,’ he bit back meekly, sighing when you finally wrapped your fingers around his semi-hard length.
‘The sass! It’s almost like you still got it, Mr Byun. Care to impress that young wife of yours?’
‘I sure will, you cunning woman,’ he growled playfully, completely giving in to it and attacking your laughing mouth as he lifted the covers over your head.
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A/N: Thank you for reading! As usual, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments/ asks, and if you’re new – check out my Masterlist ^^
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makeste · 4 years
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BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”
Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.
Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(--)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.
omfg lol
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“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition
OMG
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I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that
(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)
a couple more things to point out about this panel: 
“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes
Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there
I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities
omg Shouto’s face
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okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable
and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol
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“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”
so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing
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okay, uh
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SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”
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let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING
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“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows
THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS
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damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch
now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t
OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS
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1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING
and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something
that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him
(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)
however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit
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Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds
DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS
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yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying
OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS
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fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here
first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg
and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!
HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD
but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on
SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!
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I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read
so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands
OH DAMN!?
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does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg
(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)
anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight
awww
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DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO
so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]
oh my lordy lord
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Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly
(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)
meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”
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I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys
so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...
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if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here
lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”
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I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway
OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy
WHAKLHL
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and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital
well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!
seriously though why do we need to see this lol
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no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2
so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this
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just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along
SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!
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NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)
YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY
(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)
also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??
(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)
Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”
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for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit
JIROUUUUUU
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“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”
how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN
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I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]
OH MY GOD!?!
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"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”
I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names
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Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series
EXCUSE YOU, IIDA
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BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --
DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT
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“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”
OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING
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[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]
oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol
at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude
anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”
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satanfemme · 3 years
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Freaky Movie Fall!
happy halloween! for you, beloved followers, I’ve compiled a list of 31 days worth of movies to watch this autumn! (<- would've been for the month of October if I weren't already 13 days late, but what can u do lol) these aren’t all horror movies, but a mixture of: horror, fucked-up, and/or simply the vibes of the season.
quick disclaimer: altho I recommend all of the movies listed here, I also highly recommend checking a synopsis or doesthedogdie.com before watching anything you're unfamiliar with, as this list sometimes jumps between family friendly films vs. actually disturbing films. but for your convenience, I’ll also be making note of each title's MPAA rating, and I'll be starring the title with an asterisk (*) if any version of the movie includes a sexual assault scene.
(also if the organization of this post only makes sense to me, so be it hdfghf)
Part One: by god it's fall
1. The Plague Dogs (1982), PG-13 - an animated talking dog adventure that's maybe a bit more for adults than children, this movie features tragic (and sometimes outright gruesome) content without it ever feeling forced or out of place for the weird yet moving story being told. never has a movie made me care about cartoon dogs more than this one.
2. Ginger Snaps* (2000), unrated but around PG-13 imo :shrug: - a coming of age supernatural horror(-comedy?) where a werewolf curse serves as a metaphor for puberty. this movie really hits the nail on the head for what it's like to be a Weird Teen, while also discussing some really interesting themes surrounding codependence / leaving unhealthy childhood habits behind.
3. The Blair Witch Project (1999), R - I'm not usually big on found footage shaky cam horror like this, so I put this movie off for such a long time, but boy am I glad I finally gave it a shot. not only did the blair witch kick off the genre, but it more than perfected it imo. the arguments between the characters can be a bit grating and long, but if you don't mind watching a family vacation simulation for a few hours, the built up is worth it.
4. The VVitch (2015), R - although this horror doesn't have the most memorable plot imo, the atmosphere and setting are both notably great. yeah that's about all I've got to say about this one. there's some cool goats in it too? give it a shot!
5. Re-Animator* (1986), R - what if an unhinged medical student discovered how to bring the dead back to life? what if he were gay enough that the tumblr lgbts love him for his crimes (for.. some reason?) yeah, this movie's not my fav but regardless it's still a classic good time 80s sci-fi horror movie, and the gore effects are campy as hell. literally what else could you possible be looking for from this list? this is a movie to watch with popcorn and friends.
6. Pink Flamingos* (1997), NC-17 - ok lets get into it! this postmodern exploitation comedy film (yes I had to google that) is the wildest mix of fun(?) lighthearted humor plus... literal-shit-eating and foot fetish sex scenes (not at the same time). total autumn vibes and what I'd describe as "baltimore core" aesthetics (if you grew up there, you'd know), but definitely not for any fainthearted viewers. for what this movie lacks in horror, it makes up for with everything else it has going on. personally, my fav part is when a block party kills and cannibalizes a group of cops. divine plays the main character, who's also named divine. I've run out of things to say about this that isn't just a content warning list. if any of u ever call me out, please include "is a fan of pink flamingos" in that google doc actually.
7. Watership Down (1978), PG - here's a good breather after that last movie, and serendipity to round this first section out. animated by the same company as the plague dogs, and based off a book by the same author as well, watership down is probably the #1 infamous "violent and bloody animated animal movie". but if you haven't seen it since you were a kid, now's the time to revisit it. its reputation is blown out of proportion - the violence is no worse than, say, a warrior cats AMV. but the story itself? genuinely great and withstanding. this one's been my fav since middle school, for real.
(putting the rest under a read-more for length! u should know what to expect by now wrt the genre range I'm covering here as we only move further down the iceberg)
+ here's a wayback machine link in case the read more ever goes down x
Part Two: creature feature
8. The Thing (1982), R - now THIS is some classic 80s practical effects horror. it's been too long since I've seen this one but I remember the tension being palatable. oh my god they made amongus into a movie??? also there's a fucked up evil dog! idk what else to say about it, I'm scared of antarctica now lol.
9. Ju-On: The Grudge (2002), R - the third installment of the ju-on horror series, this movie has great special effects and memorable ghosts. if you haven't watched any japanese horror movies yet, this is a great intro.
10. Bram Stoker's Dracula* (1992), R - uh oh babyyyyy we're in vampire territory now!!! although the slow plot of dracula routinely fails to hold me, the beautiful cinematography and establishing vampire lore makes this the must-see beginner film for the next few movies on this list.
11. Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), R - the modern vampire romance to end all vampire romances. like the last one, this is a slower movie, but I thought it'd be fun to add here as a comparison (or perhaps even as a foil) to the last. also the vampires in this movie are sooo beautiful in an etheral way, it's unreal 😳.
12. Interview With the Vampire (1994), R - picture this: a coven of vampires impersonates themselves as a theatre troop. now, in front of a human audience, they put on a "play". vampires pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires (how avant garde!). now at the climax of this performance, they actually kill and eat a live mortal woman. the audience, believing this all to be acting, do nothing but watch as the woman on stage screams for help. all this and more can be yours for the low low price of watching this movie.
13. The Queen of the Damned (2002), R - did you enjoy that last movie? well here's the sequel! - but don't expect this one to have anywhere near the same contemplative tone. instead, this one sports a nu-metal soundtrack and an off-the-rails plot to match (side note: world famous rockstar lestat's "coming out" as a vampire speech, totally reads like a coming out speech a la brian slade's in velvet goldmine, lol). if you're the kind of person who still watches twilight out of middle school nostalgia, this movie's the one for you. except the characters in this movie aren't mormons - they're goth!
14. The Lost Boys (1987), R - you know that fantasy you always have about running away to the california coast, joining a gay commie vampire polycule, and then eating innocent people every night, riding on ur matching 80s vampire motorcycles all the while? well that's what this movie is! in this horror-comedy (which is way too campy to ever actually horrify), the main character's transformation into a half-vampire reads as a gay awakening/coming out story, and the costume design is more than outstanding. this is honestly the highlight of these vampire movies imo, and maybe the highlight of the 80s as well!
15. What We Do in the Shadows (2015), R- a great way to tie off these last few, and this last section as a whole: what we do in the shadows is a genre-referential mockumentory about vampires. both this movie, and the spin-off tv show it inspired, are a genuinely funny and genius take on the vampire myth. ntm the re-watchability in this one is off the charts!
Part Three: the real monsters all along
16. Saw (2004), R- this franchise may be infamous for being shallow torture porn, but the first movie has a genuine plot to it and isn't any more gory than your average horror movie. a mystery more than anything, saw is about two men trying to find their way out of a deadly puzzle, and maybe even learning a lesson along the way. (<- and/or learning that they're gay, if the popular tumblr fanon is to be believed hfgjdfh).
17. Parasite (2019), R - this thriller deserved every amount of praise it received when it was released. it discusses the horrors of capitalistic inequality (especially that in south korea) in such a brilliant way by setting up for one plot, and then completely turning it on its head halfway through. great plot twists and a thrilling climax, 10/10.
18. Carrie (1979), R - a coming-of-age supernatural horror movie with the most sympathetic main character in the world, carrie is just as much a tragedy as anything else. side note: if you've been following along with all of these movies, this film would be fun to compare and contrast with ginger snaps! (I expect a 2 page times new roman essay about it on my desk by monday thx).
19. Hellraiser* (1987), R - an extremely horny and gory 80s horror movie about a group of sadomasochistic entities torturing and killing people in a practical effects masterpiece. meanwhile, another character tries to bring himself back from the dead in a manner equally as horrifying. if you love good gore, this is the crown jewel. if you're squeamish about torture...... .. . ... sorry.
20. Tetsuo the Iron Man* (1989), unrated but I give it a solid R - a japanese cyberpunk body horror film about a man who undergoes a curse slowly transforming him from flesh into metal and machinery. the plot can be hard to follow at times, but the body horror is genuinely incredible (and nasty!) and the fight scenes towards the end get super fun.
21. Scream* (1996), R - a genre-referential slasher, though beginners to the genre will absolutely "get it" too (you'll notice this list itself is lacking in slasher movies oops). this movie can feel a bit full of itself at times (imo), but it pulls of horror-comedy in a way that's been rarely pulled off since.
22. Train to Busan (2016), unrated but I'd give it an R - a claustophobic action adventure zombie horror movie with incredible heart at its core! I can't remember if I cried at the end, but if I didn't then I came close. if nothing else on this entire list strikes you, just watch this movie, please.
23. Mysterious Skin* (2005), NC-17 - generally I don't recommend this movie to people due to its content, but I figured if pink flamingos can be on this list, so can this one. this coming of age drama may be a respite from all the horror films in this section, but it's still by far the most upsetting imo. mysterious skin follows the story of two teen boys living parallel (yet often intertwining) lives in a small town, one a sex worker, and the other a UFO conspiracy theorist. this movie is incredibly moving, disturbing, thought provoking - and also the kind of movie I watched once and will never watch again.
24. The Crow* (1994), R - remember when superhero movies were good? this is a superhero movie but good. a goth and undead rockstar goes on a killing spree getting revenge on those who killed him and his wife - all on devil's night. and when I saw goth, I do mean goth; the cure recorded a song for this soundtrack, and it's still my favorite thing they've ever done.
Part Four: halloween week!
25. Rob Zombie's Halloween* (2007), R - yeah yeah yeah I'm putting this one before the original, but in my defense I'm saving the original for the 31st slot (halloween night...). most of the remakes and sequels in this slasher franchise aren't necessarily worth checking out on their own - but this one is. a sympathetic and rob-zombie-core take on the plot of the first halloween, I'm still convinced michael myers did nothing wrong.
26. House of Wax (2005), R - this movie plays My Chemical Romance for the end credits. helena by my chemical romance plays at the end of this movie. hey did you know that -- yeah I'm still not over this fact. uhm. the movie itself is pretty cool too. idk it's a 2005 slasher movie with a hot antagonist, have fun!
27. House of 1,000 Corpses* (2002), R - if you hated rob zombie's halloween, you'll hate this one too. but it you loved rob zombie's halloween... well good news! literally all of his movies are the same! this is a rob-zombie-core slasher with fun character designs and truly despicable antagonists, plus dwight from the office is in this one! this movie's about as campy and fun as a slasher can get.
28. Eraserhead (1977), unrated but probably an R idk - movies of ALL time, I'm truly obsessed with this one. eraserhead is an experimental and surreal body horror film by david lynch and about fears of fatherhood (among other things). this movie follows its plot in such a way that it makes me feel like I'm watching it in a pretentious new york art gallery black box theatre or something, sitting in silence among my classmates who are also visiting on our field trip. top tier lynch film.
29. The Addam's Family (1991), PG-13 - believe it or not, I have surprising few opinions on this movie! look, it's the addam's family. I'm sure u at least know the vibes of this franchise, right? halloween comedy? well here, watch it and have fun between all those weird and fucked up movies I keep throwing at u.
30. Noroi: the Curse (2005), unrated but probably around an R- movies that scared me SO bad I couldn't sleep at all, this film is a japanese horror mystery that's been compared to the x-files but don't let that fool you. between disturbing body horror, legitimately startling ghost effects, and many unsettling found footage shaky cams, the x-files wishes it were even a tenth as horrifying as this documentary-style movie is.
31. Halloween (1978), R - my wife!!!! my wife is here!!!!!! (author's note: michael myers is my male wife, thank you). no, ofc this movie isn't "good" but it's a slasher and it's fun, and the first time I ever watched it was perhaps the most fun I've ever had on a halloween night in my life, so I Absolutely recommend this one if you love silly 70s horror and want to have a good time!
and that's it!!!! 31 movie recommendations from me to you! watch these all in the order I gave you, or pick and choose based on my reviews, it's up to you! either way, I hope this is fun and helpful to at least somebody, and feel free to reblog or save this post to your heart's delight <3
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pebblysand · 3 years
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[NOVEMBER '21] - THE LIFE/WRITING UPDATE NO ONE ASKED FOR (AND SOME QUICK LINKS)
oh lads. i don’t know about you but i have no idea where october went. i mean, i wrote every fucking day under the sun, then i went on holiday, then i edited 13,000 words in 27 hours almost straight, bar a 3 hour nap in between, then my mum came to stay with me, and now here we are, lol. plus the clocks have gone back gone forward i never know, and now it’s just dark, all the time, oh happy days. i think i said this in my old fic "children" once, but november is universally the shittiest month of the year, amiright?
Anyway, before diving into more life/writing updates, here are some quick links to different blog pages you might not see on mobile :
to read my fics
to read my original work
fic recs
to read my tumblr rants about stuff
[NOTE: i am currently not accepting prompts but maybe soon-ish?]
Castles (chap 10) ETA: december?
links extended a/n-s: chapter v ; chapter vi & vii ; chapter viii ; chapter ix
[more life/writing updates under the cut]
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what i’m reading:
i went on holidays this month and so as planes have always been (and probably will always be the one place i read) we are back in business! i finished two books this month, and they were really good reads!
books:
i finished beautiful world, where are you? by sally rooney. as i’ve said before, i’ve been a sally rooney stan for a few years now, and i genuinely enjoyed this book, although it definitely was not my favourite. i think my issue with this book was two-fold: first, i didn’t love the letters exchanged between the two main protagonists - i felt they were a bit of a waste of space and did not really tell the reader anything new about the characters, if i’m honest and second, i felt a bit frustrated by the four-main-characters set-up, rather than two, like in normal people. i felt the same with conversations with friends so this is not news but i feel like if there’s one thing sally does, it’s character building, and i just wish she would focus on one or two people, rather than try and get confused with doing four. i also thought that strangely enough, she did a better job at having the boys be fascinating, well-rounded, flawed individuals, rather than the girls. both simon and felix felt like very interesting, complicated characters i really wanted to spend time with, and i desperately wanted this story told from their pov, rather than eileen and alice’s. i wonder if this is the only the effect of the restricted pov (obviously, the other characters whose heads you’re not in always feel more like a mystery) but i think it was something deeper than that. i felt that eileen was a bit too perfect for my taste and alice just felt like sally self-bashing. a lot of people have said that alice is a self-insert (insanely famous author of two books about “people,” known for the way she writes about sex… um, yeah, sure, why not?) but i would argue that it only is in the way that alice feels like rooney being like: here is everything i hate about myself in a single character who, by the way, has no redeeming qualities. i fucking hated alice, and i think you’re meant to hate her, and i was like, ‘honestly, sally, darling, no one is that bad.’ all of this being said, though, obviously, sally is a genius. her writing is stellar, her storytelling skills are insane and i will read her grocery list if she gives it to me. there’s that scene at the party with simon and eileen where she conveys all of the feelings in the world with almost no emotion whatsoever in text, that scene legit brought me to tears and i was like: okay, fair play, sure look, i’ll never write again, thanks very much. lastly, (and i’d be curious if this is a shared sentiment by non-irish people, @hiinnys, maybe, i’m curious what you thought) but i felt that this novel was a lot more “irish” than the previous ones. the omnipresence of the dublin rental crisis, the locations, i even noticed more irish phrases like the “do be” verb tense, which i don’t recall being used in her previous work. this might be in my head (or maybe i’m just noticing this now because i’ve been here longer) but this book really felt irish and homey to me. there was a very interesting article in gawker (ugh, i know) on this topic entitled “sally rooney is irish” and how she writes about ireland but without making it into this cliche-ed postcard set up we’re so used to. i thought it was super interesting and would highly recommend.
i also finished a book i’d downloaded on kindle ages ago but only got to now: watch her fall by erin kelly. sure look, ya girl loves a good thriller sometimes and erin kelly is such a master at telling a story from multiple povs… i’m honestly jealous. i really enjoyed this, the pacing and writing was great, and i loved the classical dancing setting. my only complaint is that the end twist, i felt, didn’t wrap around everything as well as it did in he said/she said, so i would definitely recommend reading that one first, because it’s really her masterpiece. this was definitely fab and entertaining. i was up trying to finish it until 2am the night i got back from romania, so this was 100% a banger.
fics:
i’m still reading: knowing where to look by ala_baguette and still loving it. haven’t read the latest chapter that came out last night yet, though, so please don’t spoil haha.
i’ve sort of low key been reading love in a time of a zombie apocalypse off a tiktok recommendation. i don’t know, sometimes i like to switch my brain off, okay? also, i’ve always sort of loved zombie/dystopian aus, they make me lol. it’s not the best fic i’ve ever read and i don’t know how i feel about dramione but sure look, it’s fine.
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what i’m watching:
i haven’t finished downton abbey but i have gotten recently obsessed with two other shows lately. the first is maid. i’ve spoken about it on tumblr a bit but boy, if domestic violence and poverty are topics that you feel drawn to, do give it a watch. it’s beautiful, the acting is stellar, it does such as good job of showing the cycle of toxic relationships, the legal difficulties when, as she puts it “you don’t have bruises” and is so, so well written, i absolutely loved it. obviously, it is a tough watch, though.
i’ve also been watching a lot of goliath lately. i’m on season 3, which i feel is slightly weaker than the first two, but i’m honestly loving it so far. it’s got a lot of michael connolly vibes, i feel, especially in the way that it shows los angeles, and is actually very funny. the characters are great, the acting is absolutely stellar (that woman who plays the paralegal is chef’s kiss) and i’m definitely enjoying this. would highly recommend if you’re looking for a non-traditional legal show.
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what i’m writing:
okay, this deserves capslocks. CASTLES IS OUT. I REPEAT. CASTLES IS OUT. thank the lord.
jokes aside, this took ages to get out, and i’m so, so glad it now is. i don’t know why but i was convinced this chapter was going to piss off a lot of people but actually, the response was overwhelmingly positive so thank you so much. i am so thankful and humbled by the fact that so many people are reading this story, it’s an actual dream and honestly, getting all your comments in throughout the last couple of days, it’s just been the absolute best feeling. i’ve tried to answer most of yous by now but i am running a bit of a backlog so please hand in there. but thank you, thank you, thank youuuu.
in terms of what happens next, i’ve said it on a couple of discords but i’m finally doing nanowrimo for the first time in my life (yaaaay!) it’s genuinely the first year, since finding out about the event some ten years ago, that i actually both have time and am in the “right” headspace to do this. so i’m trying it out by attempting to write the next 50,000 words of castles. i’m anticipating another 70k so it won’t be really “finishing” castles, but i’m hoping to make a pretty big dent in whatever’s left. this means that while i don’t think i’ll post an update before december, i’ll definitely be working. of course, if you want to send in asks or thoughts or do the word ask game again, anytime, be my guest. i’m actually sort of excited for this. i think it’s going to be tough, but loads of fun.
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what i’m doing:
i went to romania and it was fucking awesome to finally go on a trip after eighteen months of pandemic shite. this being said, i am absolutely exhausted and cannot wait for a bit of dublin-based, quiet time by myself. i’m just gonna paint my nails tonight, order some indian food and then sleep lol. whatevs, i’ll start nano tomorrow.
lots of love,
pebblysand.
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papers4me · 3 years
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Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (76 & 77)
So, I decided to read the manga mainly in search for a more natural balanced female presentation than the idealistic, shallower, savior depiction of tohru in the anime.
I’m intentionally skipping all the chapters of her as a (mother figure) in yuki’s life & won’t read them or even visit them for comparison with the anime. I love yuki’s growth story & the unique depiction of his platonic relationship with tohru, but if his mother-tohru phase was a drink, then the anime has force fed it to me till it came from my nose! So, for yuki, I’ll be reading his growth past-his mother confession.
I’ve consulted my lovely manga readers friends & thy recommended starting from ch 90 since the content in that chapter was completely cut! but some recommended checking kyoto chapters first since they contain a nice glimpse of the author’s style & artistic vision. Kyoto ep in the anime isn’t focused on “mom-tohru” so, i like the idea! I’ll jump to ch 90 right after ch 77.
- Subtle growth of a woman ( Clash of visions & presentation between the manga’s “ Loosing the wallet with mom’s photo vs the anime’s fractured photo frame):
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I really love the underlined connotation of tohru loosing her “mom” unknowingly! In the anime, this scene played without any reference to kyoko & tohru’s attachment to her. We saw tohru the teenage girl confused as she experience romantic love for the first time. Nothing more than that. But the manga says “ Main female MC is way deeper than a (mom-figure) or a (girl in love), In this panel, tohru chases after kyo & unknowingly looses her famous wallet containing her mom’s picture. Here’s what this subtly indicates:
 Normally, tohru would notice right away that her wallet is missing, here she never even notice until kyo suggest they hang out together. Subtly indicating that tohru is moving further & further from her phase of “ an afraid, grieving, abandoned child clinging to her mom”.
Normally, tohru would panic, say “ mom is missing” & everyone around her goes into search mode to make tohru at ease (hiro’s ep). Here once she notices, she says “ my wallet is missing” & kyo relaxed & laughingly gives her her wallet back. While he goes to bring the wallet, tohru instead of thinking “ oh nearly lost mom!” is musing over the fact that “it’s strange that kyo can make me happy or sad with one word only”. Subtly indicating that tohru is replacing her mom with kyo as part of growing up from the child she was to the woman she will be.
Tohru calling kyo “mysterious”, subtly explains that tohru is in the uncertain phase of understanding her feelings as a woman & hence, pave the path for upcoming trauma exploration & psychological depth.
The entire scene in the manga is depicted to convey different layers: romance, upcoming growth, & unexplored traumatic issues of abandonment, grief, & human weakness. “ Accepting human Weakness & change” IS the manga’s vision.
In the anime, the fractured picture worked simply becuz no issues of any traumatic experiences with tohru were ever hinted. Nothing abt tohru being a young woman moving away from a traumatic childhood was ever implied beside the weakly sharply cut & forgotten few scenes of her mysteriously going “ im okay” while remembering her dad’s shrine. Was there ever anything abt replacing her mom with kyo? Nope!. Was there anything abt tohru reluctance of loving kyo? Nope! to fix that, let’s shock the audience with empty photo frame! It’ll make the viewers confused & if we play the climax right & give tohru a tearjerker speech confronting akito, all is good. It worked in the anime as it served the purpose it was created for: shock value & drama. ppl bought it. But in the long run, it cemented tohru as the “savior angel” never the “ weak human”. But not many will have issues with that. Having yuki with his impressive story of growth & kyo with his shocking story of pain is enough to distract from the rest. The director must think: What does the audience want?
a woman who’d save the prince with her motherly care?“ Done!”.
a woman who’d love the monster? “ Done !”. 
a woman who has her own deep story? no one will miss that~ skip!
-Yuki’s next stage of growth: Friends:
I like how smoother the scene played here. Yes, yuki thinks back to his gratitude to tohru, but it plays subtly & more emphasis is on his friendship with kakeru. No added scene of him waving back to tohru after kakeru which brought the focus back to mom-tohru again. No. Here is way less shoved in your throat. Yuki says how he felt in the moment, moved on to the next stage, thought abt his life & choives, moved on to school. Clear lines that makes yuki more dynamic & way less “ living in his head” character.
Side Notes:
The manga’s art is pretty but expressive! I was afraid it’ll have that weird eyes bigger than the moon & too much sparkles & bubbles like the usual old shojo manga art!
Yuki is way more expressive than the anime & less pretty & sparkly! I welcome this with flowers & songs! lol.
Tohru has “low” pigtails instead of the child-like high pigtails! YES! it is crazy that this trivial change adds so much to tohru’s presentation to the viewers’ eyes. In real life no big deal but in an artistic medium such choices send subliminal messages to viewers minds, that’s why artists spend a lot of time choosing their characters default appearance. It means a lot for the character’s overall path & sends messages. High child-like pigtails: make her look like innocent & naive child since viewers usually associate such hair do with children & toddlers. Low pigtails: are cute girly style that we associate with teenagers & young adult women, it’s practical & cute.
Kyo’s looks as youthful & handsome as the anime but less angry, annoyed & more versatile in his expression! It always bothered me that the anime just go with kyo’s default frowned face, hands in pocket looks unless he should express a key emotion. Also, kyo without an undershirt in his uniform! interesting change from the anime.
I missed kyo’s two buddies! T_T. Why they weren’t in the anime’s finale.. could’ve at least put them in the underwhelming graduation ceremony ~
I really appreciate that yuki’s fanclub are one page, less annoying.
That awkward moment when a manga panel drawn by one person can depict a crowded city more than an anime with a huge team. Like the anime didn’t even need to zoom out for a huge wide shot that showcase its weakness in depicting a crowded city. If you can’t draw that, just zoom in to lessen the effect of emptiness. kyoto isn't a deserted area especially not during a school trip!
The teachers checking on the sneaking vs sleeping students scene is a welcoming sight! XDDD
Hana met kakeru before? saw him & tohru together? weird!!
Kakeru is more focused on tohru here.
I really love the photos taken for everybody. It indicates real good time! Hana eating, yuki around girls, arisa annoyed, kyo teased with playing card: did the play “rich man poor man” again? XD
I’m starting to love yuki more in the manga than the anime!
Kyo having short inner thought abt not being able to tell tohru a girl confessed to him & deciding to say “ none of ur business” is doing wonders to the scene!!! it makes him less mean to tohru & more balanced character. I mean I guessed so in the anime, but what could've prevented making the VA say this short line of inner thought?! Yuki’s VA says essays & essays in nearly every ep abt nearly every character?!.
I liked the way kyo held tohru’s hands when he turned to her, the way he held her hand in the anime is a bit weird. lol. Also, in this scene, tender gentle kyo is so well-done both in the anime & manga. The manga wins for the zoom in & focus on emotions, tho.
Next is chapter 90!
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dylanobrienisbatman · 3 years
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I literally do not understand, like I really don’t get it, how anyone could think the Darkling and Alina make a good pair. I can seriously ship Alina with everyone (hell even Nikolai) but him, cause it’s just so obvious that he’s hurting her. I don’t know, it’s literally impossible for me to see it. I don’t like the Darkling like at all, cause I don’t really think he’s well written, that’s is. I don’t consider him a well written villain but if somehow I did, I still wouldn’t ship him with Alina? I’d ship him with an evil OC? Cause to me it’s just something that totally doesn’t work and IT’S MEANT NOT TO WORK.
And as a Malina shipper, I must say that I’m tired of hearing that Alina “chose Mal” over the Darkling cause that’s not what happened. Alina didn’t have to choose between two guys, that’s not what the story is about. This is about Alina REFUSING the Darkling and that’s it. She chose HAPPINESS, and her happiness meant Mal, Genya, Zoya, Nikolai, Tamar, Tolya, Nadia, Misha etc... It’s not about what love story is better. What made me love the ending of the series wasn’t that Alina “chose the good guy over the bad guy”, it was that she wanted to get away from something/someone that hurt her and she MANAGED TO DO IT.
And a book targeted for teenagers published in 2012 (aka the period were toxic relationships where romanticized SO MUCH) that treats such themes, it’s really far more interesting than a story about a girl falling in love with a villain.
(Sorry for the long ask lmao)
Okay, well, sorry for the long response, but this is a WHOLE mood.
I personally think the Darkling is a well written villain, but that's mostly because he has the exact effect on the fanbase that Leigh was trying to prove by writing him the way she did, that attractive men can get away with pretty much anything because of their charm and their pretty faces, but overall I find him pretty lacking in a lot of ways. As an abuser, manipulator, and groomer, so specifically in his interactions with Alina, i think he's great, but overall in the story i find him kind of meh.
But honestly same!! Like honestly, I'm not really someone who enjoys "dark" ships. There are a few 'dark' ships that I've liked over the years, like early days Damon/Elena and Chuck/Blair (lol... to your point about romanticized toxic relationships...), but I was a lot younger when I was really invested in those ships, and as I've gotten older I really don't see the appeal in them as much as I used too. So I'm probably not the authority on what makes a good "dark" ship. But to each their own! Ship what you want! But to me, i hate it. Why would I want my heroine to be with someone who abuses her? Why would I want a strong female character to end up with someone who subjugates and controls her, and harms the people she loves? It's just not for me.
And yeah!! It's the misinterpretation of the ending that truly gets me. Alina would never choose the Darkling. Even if Mal had really died, and Alina had gone fully insane, I still dont think she would have been with him. If she had gone dark and went full power hungry crazy, I think she would have still killed him (@mal-zoya said it super well in this post). He hurt her friends, people she loves, like Nikolai and Genya, like Zoya, like Ana Kuya and the other teachers at the orphange, like Mal, and he hurt her. Even if she decided she wanted to become this immortal all powerful evil Grisha queen, it still makes no sense to think that she would side with the man who enslaved her. It just... doesn't make sense.
Alina didn't choose Mal OVER someone else, (possibly Nikolai, but still... not really? she never loved Nikolai?), she chose the life she wanted over the lives she didn't want. Even after her powers were taken from her (she did NOT give them up, despite what some people want to claim), she still could have become the Queen with Nikolai, or spent her life revered as Sankta Alina, but she chose to go live an ordinary life, full of ordinary things, full of friends who adored her and children who admired her and a husband who loved her.
I think the biggest thing that always gets lost is that the men in the story that were her 'choices', much like the hunger games 'love triangle', aren't just love interests. They represent paths that Alina can take during the story.
The Darkling represents greed and corruption. He represents a path where Alina loses sight of everything that is important to her and becomes the evil she is trying to defeat. Alina choosing The Darkling would be her loosing herself to her trauma and becoming a malevolent villain who torments the people she was meant to protect.
Nikolai represents political power and the need to be loved and worshiped by the people. He represents a path where Alina gives up the things she has always wanted for herself in pursuit of status and political power. Alina choosing Nikolai, and becoming the Queen, would be her abandoning her true calling, as the savior and protector of the people of Ravka, to rule them instead.
Mal represents humanity, sacrifice, and her true self. He represents the path Alina begins and ends the story on. Discovering that she is the Sun Summoner thrusts Alina into a life she didn't want as a child and never wanted, even by the end of the story. Harnessing the power of Morozova hurts her, and almost kills her. Accepting Nikolai's proposal makes her feel lonely, uncomfortable, and out of place. Alina choosing Mal, and by extension an ordinary life with the people she loves, represents Alina choosing to follow her heart, and to use her power for its true intention, to protect the people of Ravka and the world.
The power of the Sun Summoner wasn't granted to Alina so she could rule the world as some malevolent god-like figure, or be worshiped as a Saint, or rule the world as some immortal queen. The power of the Sun Summoner existed so that one day, someone who was pure of heart could step up and save the people of Ravka from the darkness and peril brought by The Darkling. The power of the Sun Summoner was granted to Alina because she had a pure heart, and because of her pure heart, she could withstand the greed for power, the corruption of the amplifiers, and the draw of political power and fame, to do the right thing and bring balance and peace back to the world. Her story is a beautiful thing because it reminds us that sometimes, the most important thing we can be is human, and kind.
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theeslytherinslut · 4 years
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12 Grimmauld Place (8/?)
Pairings: Sirius Black (post-Azkaban) x reader, Remus Lupin x reader’s brother, Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader
Word Count: 2,130
Warnings: gross imagery
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9 |
A/N: Next chapter will have the trio! Don’t worry the smut is inbound, I love me a slow burn lol. I have a feeling this will be a fairly long story, possibly pushing 20 chapters cause I’m only just coming up on the storyline I had in mind lmao
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As Snape pushed open the hospital wing doors, the girlish voice you'd heard earlier returned, and this time you were stunned to find it was arguing with Dumbledore. Surely no student in their right mind would argue with Dumbledore.
“I’m afraid that whatever is behind that door doesn’t concern you, Madam Undersecretary,” Dumbledore said serenely. Glancing warily at Sirius, you found him giving you the same look. So it wasn’t a student. You recognized the title as well, possibly from filling out paperwork for work. Work...the Ministry...Sirius Black sitting right next to you, a very much wanted Sirius Black. 
“Sirius, it might be best you transform now." Madame Pomfrey said before you could. Sirius shot her a shocked look, and she shook her head. "Oh, don't look so shocked. Of course I know--and I'm not the only one, you know. Now, go on. I don’t believe that woman is going to be sated by Dumbledore.” 
And sure enough, a second later, the woman pushed open the doors, and Sirius’ hand slipped from yours. Looking over, in Sirius’ spot sat a large black dog, panting slightly. Bewildered, you stared at Sirius’ new form as a small, toad-looking old woman pulled back your separating curtains. 
“What is this?” she hissed, looking to Madame Pomfrey. She was dressed entirely in an alarming shade of pink, which made her resemble a bubblegum ball. Feeling slightly nauseated, you tore your eyes away from her vivid color, but not before noticing her face was also pink in agitation. 
“This is a patient,” Madame Pomfrey responded icily, barely looking up from your leg. Thankfully, it seemed she’d ceased her draining until Sirius was able to support you once more. 
“She isn’t a student, what’s she doing here?” the woman asked, barely looking at you.
“She used to be,” you retorted, stung by the lack of empathy. She seemed not to hear you, but instead stared expectantly at Madame Pomfrey. 
“I shall treat any who seek medical attention, regardless of their status within the school.” Madame Pomfrey said, drawing herself up to her full height. 
“I don’t believe that’s your decision to make, dear.” the woman said in a sickly sweet voice. Your temper flared.
“As Headmaster, I bestow upon Madame Pomfrey the ability to treat whoever she sees fit. So, unless you plan to bodily remove Mrs. Y/L/N, I don’t see why this conversation can’t be continued in a more conducive setting. I do believe we’re keeping Y/N’s wounds from being drained.” Dumbledore said, gesturing down to your leg. “Decaying drought,”
The woman let out a ghastly noise as she looked down, and you rolled your eyes.
“Oh, that’s nice. Really love being gasped at, as if being mauled weren’t enough.” you quipped, unable to hold your tongue. Sirius growled at the woman, and her eyes fell to him.
“There! Now that can’t be sanitary, can it? It’ll have to go,” the woman said, reaching out to pull Sirius from the room. It seemed she was determined to assert some sort of authority over the situation. Sirius growled more loudly and now raised himself to stand on all four legs; whatever dog breed he’d chosen was massive, and he stood almost as tall as she did. Looking at him, he looked truly terrifying. His long fangs glinted in the light pouring in from the massive windows and his hackles were raised as he viciously growled at the squat woman before you. He looked more wolfish than like a dog. 
“I’d advise against that, Madame Undersecretary. I do believe he holds a certain affinity for Y/N. Dragging him from her bedside might not get you the results you so wish to receive.” Dumbledore smiled fondly down at Sirius, who still stood barring his long fangs at the woman. 
“Well,” she gasped, pulling her short, stubby hand from Sirius’ reach. “Cornelius shall be hearing all about this, Dumbledore. I must say it is most unusual for a prior student to be treated by staff during the school year, nevertheless joined by her mangy mutt.”
“I should expect nothing less,” Dumbledore said, serene as ever, “Now, shall we? Unless you wish to see the effects of an expertly made decaying drought on the human body?
She made a face and peered back down at your angry leg, and you were sure to meet her gaze with an icy glare. She cast a look around at the group of you, and you suddenly remembered Remus’ unconscious body in the next compartment. Hoping she wouldn't look around, you held her eyes with a glare. Thankfully, she seemed unable to find anything worth staying for and allowed Dumbledore to sweep her from the room.
Madame Pomfrey let out a string of words that made you proud, and you smiled at a now human Sirius, his hand slipping back in yours.
“That was Dolores Umbridge. Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, and by all accounts, simply the very worst of humanity.” Sirius explained, absentmindedly running his thumb along the outside of your hand. Madame Pomfrey still bustled about agitatedly, but you knew she’d soon return to you. 
“What’s she doing here? Surely Dumbledore would never hire such a horrible woman?” you asked. It’d been a while since you’d been at Hogwarts, but that you knew.
“Of course not. She was placed here by the Minister. Fudge is becoming intensely paranoid--and about all the wrong things. As I’m sure you’re very much well aware of, he refuses to acknowledge,” and casting a look at Madame Pomfrey, he cut himself off, “You-Know-Who’s return. Instead of dealing with the real enemy--the only true enemy of the whole of the wizarding world--he instead has set his sites on Dumbledore. As I’m sure you’ve read, he’s already got the Daily Prophet to work on subduing and poisoning the public against him and his claims. They’ve even begun to go after Harry now, too. Cowards. Complete and utter sodding tossers, the whole lot of them--”
“Sirius, there are students in here,” Madame Pomfrey hissed, swatting him lightly with an empty medicine bottle.
“Sorry, Poppy. Anyway, Fudge -is so deluded he thinks Dumbledore is using Hogwarts to train up young wizards for a fresh, formidable, wizard army.” Sirius said
“He’s what?!” you laughed, sure he must be exaggerating.
“He’s gone completely round the twist. Thinks Dumbledore’s training up all these children to get them to storm and take over the Ministry. Utterly fuck--sorry, completely nutters. So, he’s placed Umbridge at Hogwarts, fulfilling both the vacant position of Defense Against the Dark Arts and a fiercely loyal mole. Word is he’s working on drawing up the plans to take over the school completely. This just being the first of many steps.” Sirius explained. Madame Pomfrey leaned in and gasped at his story.
“Take over the school? That wretched woman?” she said, holding her hand to her mouth in horror. Sirius nodded grimly, and a look of intensity came over Madame Pomfrey’s features.
“Well, I don’t cave so easily,” she said, sniffing haughtily at the thought of being under Umbridge’s thumb.
“Spoken like a true Gryffindor,” Sirius smiled up at her.
“Gryffindor?” you said, shocked. I mean, it made sense for Madame Pomfrey to attend Hogwarts in her youth, but you’d never really thought about it--much less what house she’d belong in.
“Yes, Gryffindor, but I never let that cloud my judgment, Slytherin,” she sneered playfully at you. You and Sirius let out a laugh, yours dying much quicker as she came back towards you.
“Alright, dear, last one. It looks like his pinky claw didn’t quite reach you,” she said, grimacing as she spoke.
Wrapping my fingers around the bed frame and Sirius’ hand, you nodded. 
And like always, it was hell. Screaming, you tried to quiet yourself, but it was to no avail. Your mouth seemed to have a mind of its own as she worked her way down your leg, pushing out the rotting flesh
“Y/N?!” a voice yelled groggily. Cursing, Sirius slipped from your grasp and disappeared from view. Despite Sirius’ absence, Madame Pomfrey continued. 
“Almost done, ‘few more seconds, dear,” she said.
Casting a look down, your head spun at the image below you. Your limb looked more zombie-like than human. It was a horrible mixture of deep burgundy, black as the infection ran down your leg, and purple from your enlarged veins highlighting here and there.
“Remus! Contain yourself!” Sirius scolded. You knew you should shut your mouth to calm him, but it didn’t seem possible with the imagery added to the sensation. Finally, she stopped, and you fell back against the pillows once more, vision blacking round the edges as you fought to regain your breath. 
Then, what sounded like a dull thud followed by a groan sounded, and Remus burst through the curtains. What he saw brought him to his knees.
“Would you believe me if I told you it’s not as bad as it looks?” you said, trying to force out a laugh. It came out as a strangled cough, though, as your throat was raw from yelling.
“It’ll be alright, Remus. She’ll be fine by this time tomorrow, come on,” Madame Pomfrey fretted over Remus, and you could see her soft spot for your brother remained.
“But...” he trailed off. Words seemed to fail him, and he gestured weakly to your grotesque limb.
“Well, sit down, drink this,” she said, forcing a lavender-colored liquid into his slightly shaking hands. “Calm down, and we’ll explain. If you go roaring off again, I’ll have to knock you out with something much stronger than the last,” she threatened, lowering her eyes at Remus. With a sudden fondness, you remembered her disdain for chaos in her wing.
“Oh, Sirius,” she sighed. He’d just come in clutching a bloody nose, but seemed amused rather than angry.
“Remus!” you said, shocked at your brother.
“It’s quite alright, love. If someone were trying to keep me from you while you were screaming like that, I’d do the same.” Sirius smiled at you. A tingly feeling brewed in your chest at his words. “Excellent right hook, Moony,” he complimented, bowing slightly at his friend.
Tonks followed in soon after, rolling her eyes at the two of them. You met her eyes, and the both of you mouthed ‘men’ at each other whilst shaking your head.
As Remus laughed weakly at Sirius and downed the rest of the liquid, a small boy in scarlet and gold came to collect Tonks. With a wave and a glance back at Remus, she was gone. The effects of the potion were instantaneous; his hands ceased their shaking, he sat up a little straighter and took a deep breath.
“Now, then,” Madame Pomfrey sighed, “Her leg. It seems our favorite furry little friend seemed discontent with the marring effects of his claws alone and dipped them in what we’ve found to be a decaying drought.” 
Bracing yourself for his reaction, you were extremely shocked to find him reasonable still.
“You’ve got Severus making the antidote, then?” Remus asked logically. 
“I’ll take a dozen of whatever that was for later,” you breathed at Madame Pomfrey. Remus was such a reasonable, logical person in every situation, except when it came to you. When it came to you, however, he was much more reminiscent of his wolfish counterpart.
Everyone laughed lightly at your comment, and you sat up slightly, most of the pain fading. 
“So, what now?” I asked.
“Now, dear. You rest. Though, I daresay at some point your friend here will have a trio of visitors,” she said, twinkling at Sirius.
Sirius smiled in realization, and you were happy he got to see his godson early--even if it did take you suffering from a poisonous werewolf attack.
“I’ll be staying, Poppy,” Remus said, pulling up a chair. You opened your mouth to reason with him, but he stopped you by lifting his hands, and you sighed--there was only so much the potion could do.
She cast wary glances at Sirius and Remus.
“You know, I don’t believe there was a single night in which the two of you were in here that didn’t end in various bangs, pop, and screams.” Suddenly, her demeanor was very intense and McGonagall-like. “The first will be tonight. Or you’ll both end up in an empty cot!”
“Poppy, we are adults, you know,” Remus reminded her, smiling lightly.
“Oh, like that ever stopped you lot,” Madame Pomfrey said, giving them each a stern stare as she left.
“We’ll be on our very best behavior, Poppy,” Sirius said solemnly, though the mischievous twinkle in his eyes gave him away.
 “You two will be the death of me,” she sighed, whisking away back to her desk, a concerned look on her face. 
******************************
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king-maven-calore · 3 years
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*asks about Mare's M scar turn into another episode of Annie overanalyzing YA books*
this is your fault guys. In trying to make sense of Mare's "decision" to keep the scar, and reading your takes on the matter I started to wonder if there was something more to it than what is offered as an explanation in Mare's PoV. Some parts of the story can't be taken at face value and still expect them to make sense in the established narrative.
⚠️ LONG POST AHEAD ⚠️ and I apologize in advance for my limited English to try to elaborate on such a complex subject.
Anon #1 said: I AGREE WITH YOU SM. I don't understand why Mare kept the scar. Imagine having to explain to your children how you got it...
Anon #2 said: Same. Personally I think she shouldn’t keep it. She claims that she keeps the scar so that it can always remind her of who Maven truly is, but there are literally multiple reminders to remind of who he is. Like the entire Nortan government changing. He was the cause of everything and it caused a domino effect. He caused Shade’s death, babies dying, etc. so all that should be a reminder of who he is imo.
@lucy-the-cat said: Well, in King's Cage she held onto the brand as proof that Maven was irredeemable and didn't deserve sympathy. This framing continued in War Storm, where Mare weaponizes it during the meeting. After killing him, she probably kept it to reassert to herself that she made the right choice.
After killing him in War Storm, she needs to reassert to herself that she made the right choice. Remember that strange scene where she talks to Cal and is all “You’re mad at me for killing your brother” and he’s very confused and she insists “You are you just don’t know it yet”? She’s projecting her guilt over Maven’s death onto him, and in Broken Throne, she sees Cal grieve for the brother that never was, and fears succumbing to the same.
War Storm has a passage where Cal discusses healing some of his scars and Mare retorts that some things should be remembered. But here’s the thing: When a scar heals, the memory of how you got it doesn’t disappear. It’s about not ACTIVELY reminding yourself of it every time you look in the mirror.
That’s self-harm logic. And Mare has always been prone to self-harm, what with her keeping Maven’s letters and admitting to scratching herself in King’s Cage. She got better about it as the books went on, but to me the brand is proof she never fully grew out of it. Maybe she did eventually but humans will do anything to rationalize continuing what we’re already doing.
And yeah, I can see Cal giving up and being like, “FINE I’ll enable you” lol
I think we can all agree that the use of the scar during WS makes sense from a propaganda standpoint, also as a reminder for herself because at that point in the story Maven is still alive and kicking it.
In a world where erasing scars completely is a possibility, it's very interesting that the protagonist chooses to keep it after it served its purpose in the plot. Hence, my problem with the scar starts after the main plot arc ends, when Maven is already gone and the sole presence of the mark becomes a source of retraumatization for Mare.
I really like lucy-the-cat's psychological explanation and I couldn't have worded it better myself. On the other hand, in literature, a wound tells a story.
A scar is a narrative inscribed into the hero's skin, granting them authority over the lived ordeal. Think of the term "Battle scars" something that men used as badges of honor, as proof that they fought in a romanticized war and proved themselves to a patriarchal society that deems violence a form of authority.
Mare takes this conception when she is trying to convince Montfort to go against Maven.
Tumblr media
Traumatic memories lack verbal and narrative context; rather, they are encoded in the form of vivid sensations and images (a "death imprint"). The traumatic memory gains destructive force not for the link to the past, but for the repetition in the present of the event that hasn't been fully processed yet.
“You had some scars removed.”
I can only shrug. It’s been weeks since I had a healer erase the older scars across my back and ribs, wiping away the raised edges of white, knotted flesh. Wounds unbecoming of a king. (...) “Some things don’t have to be held on to.”
Her eyes narrow. “And some things do, Cal.”
I can only nod in silent agreement, unwilling to follow her over the precipice of that particular conversation. It won’t lead us anywhere productive. (War Storm ch 23)
If we take a look at the dichotomy of Mare's choice with Cal's, and how it relates to their character arcs, we can see a very common device used in media that employs the damaged body to show the state of the character's soul.
In mainstream media such as Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars, Moon lovers (a K-drama) the redemption of the male protagonist's soul, the ending of their journeys, is marked by the restoration of the body either by transforming back into human (the Beast), the healing of a scar (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and Wang So), just to mention a few.
At this point in the story, Cal is nearing his final redemptive act by stepping down from the throne, while Mare is reaching her final destructive act, Maven's murder.
I have scars of every kind, from Maven’s brand, from wounds not properly healed, from my own lightning. But I am not a ruin. Not yet. (WS chapter 8)
What I mean to say is, the scar is as much of a choice as the destruction of her soul in the name of the greater good, which isn't much of a choice at all (narratively speaking). And the permanence of the brand even when in canon she could simply have it healed is the metaphorical repressentation of her healing journey. The healing journey that barely fucking starts at THE END of War Storm, as we all know from the infamous epilogue.
Anyway, I hope that made sense. Here's the article mentioned above ("Scarred narratives and speaking wounds").
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