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therealsaintscully · 4 years

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My list of X-Files inspired BBC Sherlock fic prompts

I recently finished reading @88thparallel‘s fabulous “Written in Ashes”, a BBC Sherlock fic inspired by the X-Files episode Demons. I’m a huge X-Files fan myself, and the idea of adapting an XF story into a Sherlock one sent me down a rabbit hole. I decided to compose a list of ideas, all up for grabs, for X-Files plots that can be adapted in interesting ways to a BBC Sherlock casefics.

Below you’ll find a list of X-Files episode with their original description, and some suggestions based on my knowledge of the two shows of what makes the plot an interesting one to write. As I mentioned, these ideas are PROMPTS, suggestions - feel free to write them. In fact it’ll be my honor! Let me know if and when you do (I might even create a collection for them in AO3).

Ice (1x07) - Mulder and Scully investigate the death of an Alaskan research team. Isolated and alone, the agents and their accompanying team discover the existence of extraterrestrial parasitic organisms that drive their hosts into impulsive fits of rage. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: extreme nature adventures (mountains, snow, remote research facilities); isolated together with strangers in a distant location (Ice was supposed to be a bottle episode); a lot of suspense as Mulder and Scully’s trust in each other is put to the test (a handgun showdown), physical inspections rife with sexual tension, ooo!

Darkness Falls (1x19) - Mulder and Scully are called in to investigate when a team of loggers disappear without a trace. Initially suspecting eco-terrorism, the agents find themselves trapped by a seemingly ancient menace lurking in the woods. According to Wikipedia, “Chris Carter was inspired to write this episode based on an interest in dendrochronology (sic? that’s how it’s spelled in wikipedia), a subject that involves analyzing annual growth rings found in non-tropical tree species.” An interesting topic to develop! Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Just like in Ice, opportunity to write magnificent nature descriptions; also like in Ice, Mulder and Scully have to fend to themselves against the ‘others’; wonderful quotes such as “Rugged manly-men. In the full bloom of their manhood.” and “Come on, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest." A Three Garridebs moment could work here!

Pusher (3x17) - Ah, Pusher. An early Vince Gilligan classic! Mulder and Scully’s assistance is requested for a case involving a man, who goes by the pseudonym "Pusher", seemingly capable of bending people to his will. The suspect uses his mysterious abilities to manipulate Mulder into a dangerous end game. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Many parallels can be found between Modell and Eurus and or Moriarty; the game of cat and mouse in hopes of luring Mulder as the end game is quite similar to the TFP/TGG; the final game of Russian roulette with Mulder at the end is a classic MSR scene which could be lovely to write for John and Sherlock (Gillian is amazing with that One Tear™ while she threatens Modell); an opportunity to instill a fear of a very specific shade of blue in your readers; a chance of a sequel, since Modell returns with a vengeance in Kitsunegari.

Jose Chung's From Outer Space (3X20) - Mulder and Scully hear, and promptly investigate, a story about an alien abduction of two teenagers. Each witness provides a different version of the same facts. Within the episode, a thriller novelist, Jose Chung, writes a book about the incident. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Humor! Lots and lots self-aware, meta-type inner-jokes humor as an observant book writer describes Mulder/Sherlock’s many weird traits.

Avatar (3x21) - Assistant Director Walter Skinner is accused of murdering a prostitute, Mulder and Scully investigate to determine the truth behind what happened. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A fine chance to turn Skinner into Sholto or one of John’s other army friends (Skinner discusses trauma from his days in Vietnam in this episode, which could be adapted to Afghanistan). John Asks for Sherlock’s help on behalf of Sholto/said friend and there’s a thrilling prospect of some good old jealousy :) *After writing this I kinda fell in love with this idea and I might attempt writing this, but I’m absolutely not claiming this exclusively! If you like the idea go ahead!

Paper Hearts (4X08) - Another Vince Gilligan episode, my go-to one these days for when I miss the show and need a good dose of Mulder and Scully. I can go on and on about why I love this episode but I’ll spare you from that right now ;) Mulder and Scully find that a child killer who Mulder had helped to apprehend several years earlier had claimed more victims than he had confessed to; and in the resulting investigation, learn that the killer is now claiming to have killed Mulder's sister Samantha. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The Alice in Wonderland theme in the episode is somewhat reminiscent of the Hansel and Gretel theme from TRF so Moriarty could be one way to go; another way to go is have Eurus as a villain in a TFP plot fix-it (if you find the Sherrinford plot exaggerated), with Sherlock’s hope of finding Victor’s body by the end of the game.

Zero Sum (4x21) - In the episode, a case Mulder is asked to investigate is covertly covered up by the agents' boss Walter Skinner, who has made a sinister bargain with The Smoking Man. Scully is missing in this episode (Mulder cites her cancer treatments; Gillian Anderson was filming something else at the time). Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A wonderful opportunity for a Lestrade-as-Skinner story! (and you’re given a fine chance to write a Lestade naked with nothing but pants situation); Mulder is a bit lost without Scully in this episode so that’s added background Johnlock angst; the story can happen when John is away, either during his honeymoon or after Mary dies.

The Pine Bluff Variant (5x18) - This is an underrated episode which I quite like, personally. Scully grows suspicious of Mulder when she thinks he may be helping a terrorist organization. Scully begins to wonder if he is now a traitor to the FBI. It is eventually revealed that Mulder is working as a mole in the group, and he is trying to stop them before they are able to use a biological weapon—that may have been created by members of the U.S. government—which causes rapid degeneration of human flesh. Cool plot points you might enjoy: alternating POVs between Sherlock and John; a lot of tension between John and Sherlock while John is suspicious; Mycroft recruiting Sherlock to appear as a traitor.

Triangle (6x03) - What can I possibly say about Triangle that hadn’t been said before? Cool plot points you might enjoy: An AU-within-AU opportunity - a chance for John and Sherlock to meet in a WW2 era, saved by rebel-Nazi Lestrade, Sherlock’s irregulars are The Lone Gunmen, a kiss, a punch, “You’re my one in five billion” (remember when there 5 billion people on this planet?) :) If you do write this, please make sure present John and past John pass each other by and get a strange, tingling sensation as a result! It’s one of my favorite scenes in the entire show.

Dreamland I & II (6x04 and 6x05) - Mulder and Scully visit Area 51. But when the agents witness the flight of a mysterious craft, Mulder and a member of the Men in Black switch bodies, unbeknownst to the others. In part two, Scully begins to suspect that her partner's strange behavior is more than it appears to be, while Mulder fights to return his life to normal before it is too late. Cool plot points you might enjoy: Humor, humor and more humor. Mostly Morris Fletcher trying to bed John (=Scully) who promptly pulls a gun on him. That should be an awesome scene to write in and of itself. And let’s not forget “Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a doctor and you should know better.“ as well as “I’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly.”

Tithonus (6x09) - Another underrated episode. I think it deals with the theme of death’s inevitability rather beautifully. Scully learns that she, but not Mulder, is being given a chance to prove her worth at the FBI, and—paired with a new partner—she investigates a crime scene photographer with an uncanny knack for arriving just in time to see his victims' final moments. What she does not expect, however, is for Death to play a role himself. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: John exploring on his own, for one reason or another, attached to another investigator (things happen!); this episode further explores a theory referred throughout the show since Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, that Dana Scully is immortal (she seems to avoid death in this episode as well). It’s an Appointment in Samarra sort of story.

Monday (6x15) - Mulder and Scully are stuck in a deadly time loop. It’s a story that writes itself! Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Sherlock or John having a really bad morning, over and over again.

Alpha (6x16) - Mulder and Scully investigate several killings blamed on an Asian dog called the Wanshang Dhole, thought to be extinct. Mulder and Scully join an obstinate Sheriff, a seemingly eccentric hunter, and a reclusive canine expert to find it. However, there is more mystery to the expert than meets the eye. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: I enjoy this episode because it has some gentle but obvious MSR moments. Scully is suspicious (and low-key jealous) of Karin Berquist’s involvement in the case and it colors her opinion of the investigation. A key quote in this episode, preformed softly and beautifully by Gillian, is: “She's enamored of you Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.”

The Unnatural (6x17) - This is a weird ass episode, let’s admit it. This is DD’s love story to baseball and it’s silly and sometimes boring/slow. BUT, it has lovely MRS moments. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: The structure of story within a story (Mulder retells his time spent with Arthur Dales who tells him the story of Josh Exley) is interesting enough. The opening and closing scenes are lovely as well of course!

X-Cops (7x12) - Mulder and Scully are interviewed for the Fox reality television program Cops during an X-Files investigation. Mulder, hunting what he believes to be a werewolf, discovers that the monster terrorizing people instead feeds on fear. While Mulder embraces the publicity of Cops, Scully is more uncomfortable about appearing on national television. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: It’s your chance to write a Sherlock crossver fic about an X-Files crossover episode. If that’s not cool, I don’t no what is.

Hollywood A.D. (7x18) - Let’s admit it, Hollywood A.D is not a good episode, as funny as it is. This episode was one of the first signs the show had lost its edge, possibly because they thought this would be their truly-this-time last season. However, it IS funny and gave rise to fans claims that by this point, Mulder and Scully were Definitely Sleeping Together. Wayne Federman, an entrepreneurial Hollywood producer and college friend of Walter Skinner picks up the idea for a film based on the X-Files, however Mulder and Scully find that the level of realism in their fictional portrayal is somewhat questionable. Meanwhile, during the filming of the movie, Mulder and Scully research the mysterious "Lazarus Bowl", an artifact that supposedly has the exact words that Jesus Christ spoke to raise Lazarus from the dead recorded on its surface. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: Lots of inner-jokes and crack humor, many fluffy moments, the chance to imagine who’ll play Lestrade, Sherlock and John in a BBC Film, Lazarus could refer to The Fall(!), which could be the plot to said film.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Mulder and Scully have both left the FBI, but when an FBI agent is mysteriously kidnapped, and a former priest who has been convicted of being a child molester claims to be experiencing psychic visions of the endangered agent, they reluctantly accept the FBI's request for their paranormal expertise. I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t like it either at first, but a) compared to the revival seasons, it’s not that bad and b) in terms of established relationship angst, it’s a fucking goldmine. Cool plot points you might enjoy writing: A chance to write a post-recent-retirement fic for Sherlock and John, with a lot of tension in their established relationship based around John’s reluctance to return to their lives as investigators. IWTB has quotes like “This isn't my life anymore, Mulder. I'm done chasing monsters in the dark.” and “This stubbornness of yours, it's why I fell in love with you.” So there! Don’t dismiss the idea so quickly!

Wow, this turned out longer than I expected! I hope you liked them, and even if you don’t write anything - I definitely enjoyed this exercise.

My finished fics are ready to be read on AO3 :)

#bbc sherlock #sherlock fic #sherlock fic prompts #x-files #the x files #sherlock/x-files crossovers #john watson #sherlock holmes #dana scully #fox mulder

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floral-and-fine · 7 years

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Professor Spooky part 1

Fox Mulder x f!reader (a little Alex Krycek x f!reader too)

Warnings: none? Maybe some cursing (depends on what qualifies as a curse word).

A/N: Thank you @sharknadoslut for inspiring me to write this! This is an AU fic where Mulder is a professor and the reader is his teaching assistant. This is also my first fic about a character that is not a part of the Marvel universe.

Enjoy! Feel free to comment or send me a message!

You had heard plenty of rumors about Professor Mulder before becoming his teaching and research assistant. He was pretty notorious in the field of psychology.

Around campus, all the students (even those who never attended any of his classes) knew him as the creepy professor, whose office was located in the basement of the oldest building on campus. Likewise, He was recognized for his controversial lectures where he’d rant and rave about his radical beliefs and theories. Most of the students and even some of his own colleagues referred to him as Spooky.

However, none of these rumors could deny the truth, that the man was brilliant, a true genius. And you were lucky to have this opportunity to work with him.

When you actually met Fox Mulder, frankly, he was much more normal and down to earth than you anticipated. And nothing prepared you for how attractive he was. Based on all his nicknames you were expecting someone who looked more like the crypt keeper. Instead, you met a friendly man with pretty green eyes and a handsome smile.

Since then, the two of have a developed a strong mentor and pupil relationship. Where he was always willing to debate with you, and test your mind as a way of expanding your horizons. You loved attending his lectures just to here him talk, he had a soothing voice that you could listen to for hours. Then, there were other times when the two of you were more like close friends, who were available to console one another.

Right now, you were watching ‘spooky’ Professor Mulder grade midterm papers while snacking on sunflowers seeds. He looked bored out of his mind, as he muttered to himself about how a majority of the students missed all the important concepts.

“Having fun?” you joked. “Loads,” he sighed looking up from his papers. “They’re terrible and boring. Not a single original thought or any type of creativity.” “They’re research papers, what were you expecting?” Mulder groaned, “For some of them to challenge what they know! To ask questions! To think for themselves!.. Guess it’s too much to ask…” he sounded exasperated.

He picked up his red pen and starting writing his comments down. He looked awfully cute when he wore his reading glasses.

'What the hell is my problem?’ you thought to yourself, realizing that you’re still staring at him. Immediately, you returned your attention back on the tests you were asked to grade, but you were failing miserably. You just couldn’t focus right now. This crush on Professor Mulder was just getting worse. You adored so many things about him, his passion for the truth, his open mindedness, his sense of humor, and how he enjoyed simple things like sunflower seeds and baseball games.

You needed a break before you did something embracing.

You stood up, “I’m going to get something to drink and check the mail box. Need anything?”

“I could use another pack of sunflower seeds, if you don’t mind?” he asked without looking up.

“Sure thing.”

When you returned to the basement, you heard giggling from inside Mulder’s office. You listened closely by the door, “You know, Professor I would be absolutely willing to do some extra credit work.”

You wanted to gag, what a desperate attempt to get his attention. She probably didn’t know the basics about psychology or even care about the class. There’s no way he would fall for this.

“I appreciate your interest. I’m sure there’s something I could think of for you.” Mulder responded, sounding way to cheerful for your liking. “I’ll get back to you about it.”

You walked into the office before you got caught eavesdropping. You dropped his mail and sunflower seeds on his desk, before getting back to work.

Mulder saw the girl out. “Thank you, Professor Mulder. I’m looking forward to it.” she said in the most sickeningly sweet voice, before finally leaving.

“Are you alright? You seem… A little disgruntled.” “I’m fine.” you snapped.

“Right…” Mulder was not convinced.

“So what did that girl want?”

“She just wants to help out.”

“I’m surprised she any free time with all the shopping and partying she probably does, to have any interest in academics.”

Mulder looked at your face skeptically, you couldn’t stand looking at him, so you returned to grading tests.

“You’re jealous!” Mulder exclaimed with smug expression planted on his face. “You don’t like it the idea of sharing me and my attention.”

“As if! I’m upset, because I thought you were smarter than this, then to be manipulated by some air head!” you retorted.

“I’m not being manipulated, she appears to genuinely want to improve her grades and learn.” he defended.

You rolled your eyes. There’s no way in hell you’d admit that you’re jealous.

Over the next couple of weeks, that girl would come in. You hated having her around. When she was in the office, you’d excuse yourself and go hang out with Frohike, Langly, and Byers, the group referred to themselves as the 'lone gunmen’. They all taught computer science, and were the only other professors who would come around to see Mulder.

You stepped into the lab where they usually were. All three men were present along with a new face you didn’t recognize. He was tall with blue eyes.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, gentlemen.”

“Ah, if it isn’t the princess of the psychology department!” Frohike welcomed you. “We were just in the middle of showing the new professor around the building.”

“Alex Krycek,” the man offered his hand which you accepted, “it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Y/n L/n.” you returned his smile with a kind one of your own.

“Y/n is Professor Mulder’s teaching assistant.” Byers added.

“Lucky dog.” muttered Frohike.

You playfully shook your head at Frohike’s comment.

You and Professor Krycek started a small conversation between yourselves, talking briefly about your studies and about yourselves.

“I have a meeting with Dean Skinner I need to get to, but to be honest I’m not quite sure where his office is.” Krycek said sheepishly.

“I could take you.” you offered almost too eagerly, but spending time with him sounded much better than being near that air head.

“Professor Mulder doesn’t need your assistance?” Krycek questioned.

“He’ll be fine. He’s got plenty of help.”

The two of you walked side by side. You mentioned random tidbits of information, like places to eat close to campus, which fraternities to avoid on weekends, and where to find parking close by.

At some point, you noticed how you weren’t exactly leading him. He seemed to know which halls to go down and which way to turn.

“You really didn’t need any help did you?” you interrogated, once you arrived in front of Skinner’s office.

Krycek tried to keep a straight face before looking down with a small smile gracing his lips.

“You got me,” he surrendered, still not meeting your gaze, “I was enjoying your company, so I was hoping you’d be kind enough to help the new directionally challenged Professor out.”

He chuckled a bit at his failure to trick you.

You tried to look angry, but in all actuality you found it pretty endearing.

“Well… it can’t be easy, being the new professor, and starting in the middle of the semester.” “Thank you for being so understanding. See you around, Y/n.”

You waved goodbye before heading back.

With that bimbo still coming by Mulder’s office, you began to see Professor Krycek more often.

“Y/n? Can you help me with…” Mulder looked at your desk. You weren’t there.

'Where is she?’ he thought to himself. 'How long has she been gone?’

“The lone gunmen! How are you guys?” Mulder asked, waltzing into the lab. He didn’t bother with letting any of them respond. “Where’s Y/n?” he asked confused when he didn’t see you there with them.

“She’s with that hot shot new professor.” Langly replied.

“They’ve been getting pretty chummy, lately.” Frohike added.

“New professor?” This is the first time Mulder has heard anything about a new professor.

“Yeah, traditional good looking man with charm… I never stood a chance.” Byers contributed.

Mulder felt his blood boil. He didn’t like the idea of you hanging around some other professor’s office.

He demanded one of the guys to tell him where this new professor’s office is.

There was a loud knock on the door.

You opened it to see Mulder standing on the other side. He didn’t look surprised to see you there, but you were surprised to see him.

“Professor Mulder?”

“Y/n, fancy seeing you here.”

You smiled at him but still looked a little confused.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“Came to welcome the new guy.” Mulder walked past you.

“And you must be him!”

“Hi? I’m Alex Krycek.”

“Fox Mulder.”

Mulder was sizing Krycek up. “Seems like you’ve settled in nicely.”

“Y/n has been super helpful. Sorry, I’ve taken so much of her time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Mulder said with a hint of bitterness.

“She’s really great to have around.”

Mulder ignored the comment. “I see you’re an Ivy league man.” as he observed the degrees hanging on the wall. “I attended Oxford.” Mulder was trying to sound superior.

You couldn’t believe what an ass he was being. Krycek didn’t appear phased at all by Mulder’s attitude.

“I’m getting the feeling you didn’t actually come here to talk to me.” Krycek turned to face you, “Y/n, thank you for your help.”

Krycek suddenly leaned down and kissed your cheek. It was quick and caught you by surprise. You blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of what just happened.

Mulder looked like he could kill Krycek in cold blood.

“I have a class starting soon. See you around.” Krycek winked at you, then left his office.

You stared at the closed door not wanting to face Mulder.

When you finally saw Mulder, the way he looked at you, made your heart sink. He looked crushed by what he just witnessed. Mulder left the room before you could explain.

Taglist: @sleeping-with-the-snakes

#fox mulder #x-files #reader-insert #fox mulder x reader #female reader #mulder x reader #alex krycek #au #alternate universe #x-files fanfic #fanfic #the lone gunmen #alex krycek x reader #david duchovny

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youarejesting · 4 years

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Quarantine.23

[Masterlist] Pairing: BTS x reader Friends2Lovers But as slow as you can go until the anticipation kills us all… Genres: friendship, drama, romance SLOWEST OF BURNS BUT IT WILL BE BURNING AN ETERNAL FLAME!!! Rating: PG-13 and above Summary: Your brother works with a few BigHit dance teams and whilst having permission to accompany him at work the city shuts down banning anyone from stepping outside for a whole WEEK while they disinfect the streets. If you step outside you might get arrested, shot or poisoned by the chemicals they are emitting through the city. Words: 1.8k Announcement: This is dedicated to @brittanybtsarmy who said I leave them on edge and wanting more. This one is for you. It isn’t particularly long but I like where it ends cause it leaves you on edge and wanting more. Also I got seven posted notes worth of story line and each post it note has three chapters on it so that’s 21 chapters worth. Woooo... and that just covers this first arc I am creating I really hope you are all enjoying this story and that you stick around to make your Quarantine time less lonely.

[Part 1] [Part 22] [Part 24] [Tag Yourself Here]

Inside the clinic, Jungkook watched you turn off all the lights and shush everyone, the gang were in the area and you couldn’t give away your position. The Doctor who's name tag read Chang seemed to realise the situation and pulled you both out of the waiting room, so you wouldn’t be spotted through the glass doors. “Mister Jeon, I hear you have dislocated your shoulder, how is it feeling?”

“Better after the medicine” “I administered it on the first go” Jungkook watched you boast proudly with a big grin “Lucky you” the doctor showed off his hands to him and you smacked his arm, causing Jungkook to chuckle. “Let me look at the damage”

Jungkook watched you leave the room and felt his heart drop, he didn’t want you to leave again, not after he just got you back. The doctor smiled knowingly, “So you are one of the young men who broke her heart?” Jungkook looked down guilty, sliding his shirt down his injured arm. “It was scary, I had never seen anyone react so strongly, we had to sedate her and the next morning she just disappeared. We don’t know exactly what happened between the time she left until her return, but what we do know is she heard about a teenage boy who had appendicitis. She carried him all the way to the hospital on foot and talked to him the whole way there. When she got there she heard the hospital was running out of supplies. She turned walking all the way back and filling up a wagon and walking all the way back. It was her third delivery that we offered her the scooter thinking it would be the best to navigate in the fog. She is a remarkable young girl when the pain and suffering were trying to shut her down, instead of curling up she opened up. If she was to suffer she would gladly take the pain of others if it meant they were happy.”

“I don’t know what happened but before she went and got you something had changed, she wasn’t suffering anymore, she was happy. It was like she finally got closure. Not only has she overcome the situation she was in she is now thriving, its slow one foot after the other but she is walking uncharted emotions taking those first steps and creating a path. I am warning you, as a doctor, don’t hurt her again, the human heart can only take so much”

Jungkook couldn’t speak, only nodding his throat feeling tight, while they felt crummy sitting safely in the company building, you were out here risking your lives for others and doing things that actually mattered and changed lives. He felt even worse and it had nothing to do with his shoulder, they had literally been complaining about being stuck inside doing dish duty and you walked two hours two a hospital to deliver a teen in your arms, two hours back to get supplies two hours to deliver them in by pulling them in a wagon and two hours back.

He silently cursed that he had let his hyungs tell you those horrible things via the radio that day. That he didn’t argue and they didn’t choose a different method to getting you to stay. This had to be resolved. That is if he was even worthy of someone so gentle and kind-hearted. What made matters worse was how you believed every word, and he knew you did the way you stared at the floor refusing to look him in the eyes. The way he kissed you, and you didn’t exactly kiss back. It was like he put his heart in his hands and you didn’t take it. You were scared of him. Jungkook didn’t know how to prove to you that you were worth more than they led you to believe. That you deserve so much and that they were the monsters for treating you the way they did.

Jungkook held in his small desperate yelp when he shoulder was thrust back into place, the relief that followed was almost instant. Of course, there was an underlying tenderness to the joint but otherwise, it was feeling as good as new. He didn’t get long to relax before there was a loud heavy banging at the door. He rolled off the small examination table and followed Doctor Chang to the reception to see the men standing there holding guns and a Walkie Talkie. He waved three fingers at them and Doctor Chang picked up the Walkie turning it to channel three.

“Hello, how can I help you, are you injured?” “We want the girl, the foreigner, we know she is with you?” “She wears a Hazard suit and on the headpiece, she drew a face on the back, you know the one?” “I don’t know any girl by that description,” Doctor Chang said bluntly, looking at Jungkook confused “Do you?” “Listen here Doc, if you don’t send her out we will break these pretty little windows huh, let see you treat your patients when they are all asphyxiating.”

Jungkook took the radio, “I will get her” he said his face blank of any emotion and his hand twitching slightly. “You are a good man” the gunmen pointed through the glass at Jungkook, who gave Doctor Chang a silent look and pushed past. Jungkook walked into the woman’s bathroom, he could hear the shower running and saw your suit folded up beside your clean clothes. He knocked on the door of the stall and you poked your head out.

“Jungkook is everything okay?” You held a towel to your front and watched him curiously.

“Yes, I just wanted to um…” he paused watching the water droplets run down the side of your neck losing everything he wanted to say. It was trapped in his head. ‘I’m sorry’, ‘we didn’t mean it’, ‘you mean so much to us’, ‘it was all a lie’, ‘I love you’. None of these words left his mouth instead he pushed the door to the stall open grabbing your face and kissing you with everything he had. The kiss was desperate conveying all the emotions he could. Your bottom lip being pulled between his before he pulled back letting it go with a sigh.

You were both panting and he hummed “That is all” he pulled the door shut telling you to lock it and when he heard the confirmation he snatched the suit and helmet getting dressed in the next room before walking out. He made quick eye contact with Doctor Chang before he hung his head and went to the front door. The doctor unlocked the door letting him out and they turned away. Being the smart boy he was, his phone was hidden inside his suit on silent waiting for him to plan his escape.

Doctor Chang told you what had happened when you left the bathroom, he seemed upset and nervous. Watching for your reaction, you grabbed Jungkook’s hazard suit and helmet, walkie talkie in one hand, gun in the other. Heading for the door. It opened the few soldiers left behind to watch over the area walked in one with a bullet wound to the arm. It was embedded into the skin and Doctor Chang called you into the room to assist him, but also to keep you from running after Jungkook irrationally.

You were listening to everything he said about the bullet wound care in an effort to keep your mind from wandering. Once the wound was sutured shut, the soldiers had agreed to help rescue Jungkook but they needed to form a plan and to get closer to the location. The plan involved taking a few of the men into custody, and stealing their suits again while your suits were yellow and bright emergency colors theirs were painted black and grey in an urban disguise.

The suits were the perfect disguise as visibility through the visors were limited. All you needed was to find a few unsuspecting gang members with the suits. Lucky for you, you knew where to find them. A little alley way a short distance from the BigHit building. You knew the group well and had listened to them talk about their favorite female idols.

You used to laugh at how they spoke into the walkie. It was like a teenager being forced to talk to his parents about his day at school. A lot of ‘fine’ ‘yeah’ and ‘whatever’s’. It took little time to take the three soldiers - the forth stayed behind at the clinic - through the streets.

Pointing ahead in the fog they held their guns out and moved along silently, the five gunmen were restrained. You took their weapons, walkie talkies and phones. Guiding them to the BigHit building you felt your shoulders tense once more. Not only had you not spoken to the Boy’s in the building since the incident a week and a bit ago. You also lost their friend and band member. The five men were stripped out of there suits and taken by security.

“Y/N” Thomas called hugging you, he looked you over frowning, “Why are you, with the soldiers and Why are you so thin?” “The army are sending a few soldiers over within the house to take the mean in for questioning” You quickly grabbed one of the suits preparing to get changed, picking one that appeared to be the cleanest.

“What are you doing?” Thomas said “you're not leaving again?” “Y/n?” Taehyung said curiously, you turned to see the boys walking over each looking tired, Jimin seemed to have lost weight looking as gaunt as yourself. “What’s happening?” Jimin asked

“They took Jungkook, that idiot gave himself up for me and now he is in danger” “Why did he give himself up?” Thomas asked “That’s what I am asking, I am a nobody, and I mean nothing to him, why risk his life so casually, for someone he doesn’t even consider a friend. But that’s not the point he is my patient and we need to think of a plan to bring him back”

“You can use our meeting room” Namjoon guided you all to the elevator, it was squishy inside. Taehyung looked at you upset, you felt his fingers brush your hand, swallowing thickly trying to remove the tension from your body as he gently slipped your small hand into his larger one threading your fingers hesitantly hoping you didn’t pull away.

You held his hand but it didn’t mean anything like it used to, the action lost it’s emotional meaning and was now just two palms pressed together, nothing more than a scientific evaluation. No hidden meaning, no feelings, you were a professional. Just comforting a client, you told yourself trying to tell yourself that your heart didn’t beat faster. You know, one who lost her patient to a bunch of dangerous men.

[Part 1] [Part 22] [Part 24] [Tag Yourself Here]

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admiralty-xfd · 5 years

Text

Culmination

This is Chapter 4. To start at the beginning go here.

DEMARCATION I

(The End)

SCULLY

Diana Fowley.

Even the sound of her name feels disgusting in her mouth.

Scully is not an idiot. She knows where these feelings are coming from. She’s always been territorial of Mulder, whether she’s willing to admit it or not. The thought of him having had any kind of personal, romantic relationship with some other woman feels foreign to her. It’s a side of him she rarely has to see or even think about.

Phoebe Green leaps to her mind, the only other woman she’s ever had to imagine linked romantically to Fox Mulder, her Fox Mulder. At the time it felt nonsensical for her to imagine that kind of claim over him. They’d been through a lot together even then, but it was silly to think of him that way. They weren’t dating. They weren’t having sex. They weren’t anything other than friends, work partners. She convinced herself she was being ridiculous and pushed those feelings aside. After a few days Phoebe Green was gone, out of both of their lives, and Scully’s thoughts rarely drifted there again.

But there’s something new lurking deep inside her now. This time, it feels different. Her stomach is full of knots and she feels ill. She’s terrified of the feelings this other woman has stirred inside her. Diana Fowley has had Mulder in a way that feels deeply personal: they discovered the X Files together. When the Lone Gunmen informed her of this, it was like a punch to the gut. The quest Scully and Mulder are on had actually begun with this other woman and it feels almost like a betrayal.

Why hasn’t Mulder ever mentioned her before? Had they been as close as she is with him? Has he shared things with her that he hasn’t shared with Scully? What was their partnership like?

Scully isn’t typically a jealous person, but something about Diana Fowley brings it out in her. And this jealousy is forcing her to confront the feelings she has for Mulder more intensely. She isn’t in any way ready to deal with this right now.

The Gunmen hadn’t elaborated much, and she hadn’t really wanted them to. It was embarrassing enough having to go to them in the first place about this. She couldn’t ask Mulder because she felt she knew the answer and didn’t want to hear him say it. But the Gunmen had said enough for her to know what she needed to know about the exact nature of this past relationship; this past relationship that has exploded into their present. This past relationship that is threatening their future. She isn’t sure how real the threat is at the moment but she doesn’t want to find out.

The jealousy, however, is real. She doesn’t recognize herself. It’s not like her to be thinking these things. Things like:

Diana Fowley probably buys everything Mulder sells to her. She probably subscribes to every theory, agrees with every notion.

And:

I’ll bet he likes that. I’ll bet he eats that up. It’s been a while.

Also:

She calls him “Fox.” And he lets her. Ugh.

“You really don’t like her, do you? That other girl.”

The small voice comes from the other side of the motel room and it’s a statement, not a question. It startles her. Scully has been so deep in thought she’d forgotten she’s in a room with a mind reader. She doesn’t want to believe it’s even possible Gibson Praise can read minds but she knows he can. How else could this little boy know what she’s thinking, how she’s feeling?

She sighs. “I guess I can’t lie to you, can I, Gibson?”

“She doesn’t like you, either.”

Scully doesn’t need a mind-reader to tell her this.

“I know, you probably don’t need me to tell you that.”

“Hey, Gibson? Any way I can ask you to cut that out for a bit?”

He shakes his head no. “I’m sorry, Agent Scully, I really would if I could. Believe me.” He turns his attention back to the television and she considers letting it go, but something makes her keep talking.

“This is all very personal, and complicated, and… grown up. I know you’re a very smart kid, but you are still a kid.”

He rolls his eyes. “I may be a kid, but I’ve seen enough ‘Friends’ to know what’s going on with you three.”

They sit in silence. Well, what’s silence to Scully. To Gibson, everything must be louder than life. The elephant in the room is large and in charge, and now that it’s been mentioned it’s nearly impossible for her to think about anything else.

She wonders if Gibson has taught himself how to do this, like a fisherman, extracting whatever thoughts he’s interested in like some special kind of magnet. Or perhaps he’s not interested in any of this at all, and her feeble excuse for a love life is just another television channel he can’t shut off.

“You like ‘Friends?’” She desperately tries to change the subject, put something in her mind other than thoughts that will make both of them uncomfortable.

“Yeah, it’s pretty funny.” He sounds companionable enough but he won’t face her, still looking straight ahead at the TV. She wonders if this is a tactic he uses to shut out unwanted thoughts. Maybe he can’t hear her anymore.

Which is your favorite Friend?

“Chandler probably,” he replies to the question she didn’t ask, without missing a beat. Well, so much for that.

She smiles and thinks of Emily for a brief moment. This kid reminds Scully a little bit of her. A smart, sweet kid with an entire potential future ahead of him but no one looking out for his best interests. She wonders yet again about the inherent cruelty of the world, and why some kids are subjected to it in such a way.

“You have a kid?” His voice brings her out of her dark thoughts and for the first time she’s grateful for it.

“I… did. She died though, a few months ago. I don’t really like talking about it.”

He looks truly sorry. “I’m sorry. If I’m not looking at you, it can be hard for me to tell when people are just thinking and when they’re actually talking. Especially when they say what they mean. That doesn’t happen very much.”

She smiles, finding this all so fascinating. This child is so amazing. There’s so much to be learned from him.

Her thoughts soon uncontrollably wander back to Mulder and Diana Fowley. They should be back here by now. They’re certainly together somewhere.

The jealousy rears its ugly head again. She can’t help but wonder what they’re doing, if she’s got her claws back in him yet. Maybe he’s kissing her. Maybe they’re having sex.

Stop it, stop. STOP THINKING ABOUT THINGS.

“You know, Agent Mulder really likes you a lot,” Gibson offers out of nowhere, startling her out of her uncomfortable reverie.

“Thank you, Gibson,” she says in a voice that clearly tells him that’s enough.

She does still have a job to do. She’s responsible for protecting him. She knows how important he is; probably the most important discovery she’s ever made. She can’t help but marvel that in spite of everything the poor kid is dealing with, he’s still trying to be sweet to her.

This is so embarrassing, she thinks. And Gibson knows she’s embarrassed. He knows everything. He’s just a kid. What if he’s reading other thoughts? Very private thoughts involving her and Mulder without dumb old Diana Fowley. Or even fantasies about what he looks like underneath his suits and oh god stop this, please don’t think of something inappropriate, don’t don’t don’t

“Agent Scully?”

“...Yeah?”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” He gets up and walks out of her view.

Thanks, Gibson.

The bathroom door closes and she can only hope she’s alone again. She finds it peculiar that it isn’t until you’re having your every thought read by another person you realize how precious your own thoughts are to you.

Agent Mulder really likes you a lot.

Well, of course he does. They’re good friends. Gibson, with all his abilities, can’t understand the nuances of an adult relationship, especially one as complicated as theirs. For God’s sake, even she doesn’t understand the nuances of their relationship.

Whatever she may be telling herself not to feel, she and Mulder are both young, attractive people and they’re human. It hasn’t been easy to maintain professional boundaries, but she feels like they’ve had to. Their work is too important, and taking such a step would be a huge risk. There really is no other reason they haven’t crossed that line, even hastily, recklessly. God knows she’s wanted to.

She suddenly feels a strange sadness, almost like a loss, because obviously Mulder had taken that extra step with Diana Fowley. Knowing Fox Mulder would in fact go there with his partner has made her rethink a lot of things. First of all, no wonder she hears so many rumors circulating all the time about herself and Mulder. Secondly, if the failure of his relationship with his ex is the real reason he hasn’t taken that step with her, then Diana Fowley has robbed her of that as well. And here she is again, and she has some kind of inexplicable hold on him. A kind of hold Scully doesn’t.

She refuses to be some kind of third wheel in her own partnership. She doesn’t know how long she can hang around waiting for Diana Fowley to just go away. As possessive as she feels over Mulder, she has no real claim over him. Diana Fowley doesn’t either, though. In the end it’s going to be up to Mulder. He’s going to have to make a choice between the two of them: who he can really trust.

All she can do is hope he makes the right one.

She hears the toilet flush, the sink running, and Gibson re-enters the room. Grateful for his reprieve, she tries to focus her mind on something else as he picks up the remote and starts changing channels.

MULDER

He can’t move. He can barely think. His entire life’s work is gone, all of it gone.

In the midst of the of ash and smoke, he can almost smell along with it his own blood, sweat and tears. And Scully’s. And all the victims whose cases, already buried deep in the basement with the only two people who cared, will now certainly never see any explanation or justice.

He stands there motionless for a good minute before he is even aware Scully is holding onto him, her hand on his bicep, her cheek pressed into his chest. Neither of them can speak, there is nothing to say. He knows she feels the loss, too, though it’s possible she feels it more acutely through his own pain.

This is how they survive, the two of them. This is how they carry on. Pain seeping out of one, into the other. Their burdens shared, their losses perceived by each other.

It isn’t a death, but it may as well be. The intensity of his grief and frustration becomes enough to pull him out of his trancelike state and he looks down at Scully. He wraps his arms around her and they stand there together, surrounded by firefighters and curious onlookers and the red and blue lights from the emergency vehicles outside streaming through the smoke into their charred office like some vaporous American flag.

How ironic, this institution of justice and hope and truth reduced to ashes.

The firefighters are slowly exiting, one by one. AD Skinner comes over to the two of them and rests a hand on Mulder’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he offers, glancing to Scully as well. Mulder believes he is. Skinner is probably the only other person in the building who truly understands how devastating this is to them.

“Let’s go, Mulder,” Scully says. “There’s nothing else to be done here.”

He nods and takes her hand, following her out of the office like a zombie. His mind races. Everything truly feels over now. He’d been too arrogant, too reckless in approaching the Attorney General about Gibson Praise. Gibson had disappeared and the only remaining witness, his attempted assassin, had been murdered. The cleanup that had taken place was swift and effective, executed according to plan. It became the perfect opportunity for the Justice Department to take a shot at him and Scully, at the X Files. He should have seen it all coming. He feels like a fool.

The fire was an obvious cover up if ever he saw one. He’s momentarily annoyed at its localization; how the arsonist made no effort to hide the fact that the X Files themselves were the target. Mulder knows more than anyone his work has been in danger for years, but they could have at least pretended it wasn’t such a clear cut attack against him. The hubris of that angers him even more.

Lost in his own thoughts he hasn’t realized Scully has driven him home. “Mulder.” She’s trying to get his attention. He feels dazed.

“Yeah.”

“We’re at your apartment.”

“Uh huh.”

“Do you want me to stay for a bit? Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m good. I’m okay.” He’s still just sitting there in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead.

“Are you… going to get out?”

“Out of what?”

She sighs, unbuckles her seat belt. “Come on, I’m taking you upstairs. You’re a mess.”

He somehow finds the presence of mind to open his car door and get out. He’s glad he didn’t have to ask her to stay, but he wants her there all the same.

He’s still walking slowly and distractedly behind her, so she uses her own key to let them inside. He heads straight to the couch and falls down over the armrest, face first, his feet dangling over the edge behind him. He hears Scully go into his kitchen and she returns with two beers. She pops off the caps and plops down next to his head, kicking her legs up onto his coffee table. She sighs deeply.

“What are we gonna do, Scully?”

She takes a sip of her beer and sets it on the table. “I don’t know, Mulder. We start again. We just start again.”

“There’s a zero percent chance they’ll keep the X Files open now. This fire was the final nail on the coffin. Nothing we say will change their minds.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “Do you think it’s possible someone at the Bureau did this? I mean, they’ve been trying and failing to shut us down for years. Maybe someone finally just snapped.”

“I think so.”

“Who do you think did it?”

“Spender,” he says instantly. “No doubt in my mind it was that little fucker. I should have taken his threats more seriously.” He can’t stand the guy. Going around the Bureau, kissing everyone’s asses, covering his own to protect his reputation.

Working with the cancer man.

“I don’t know, Mulder,” she muses. “Arson? It honestly seems like he doesn’t have it in him.”

He thinks for a second, and realizes she’s probably right. He’s usually good at this profiling stuff, obviously, but his annoyance and frustration with Jeffrey “Weasel” Spender has gotten too personal.

“You’re probably right.”

“We should tell the arson investigators to keep their eyes peeled for cigarette butts, though,” she suggests. She rubs his back for a moment then taps his neck, indicating he should lift his head up. He flips onto his back and scoots over a bit, resting his head in her lap. She runs her fingers through his hair with one hand, her other hand across his chest and they sit together comfortably.

“I’m still in this with you, Mulder. This is a temporary setback, okay? We have to have faith that we will continue our work.”

Mulder thinks back to another time, an even darker time about a year ago, here in his apartment, alone. A time when his faith had also been tested. A time when Scully was edging towards death, all because of him and this work.

He’d felt so alone that night, so aggrieved, so desperately responsible for what had happened to her. He’d really wanted to die. He thought he deserved it. Everything felt meaningless. He believes to this day if that DoD agent hadn’t been spying on him and revealed himself that night, he would have pulled the trigger.

He almost can’t breathe when he thinks about what would have happened if he’d given up in that moment. Scully would have died. They both would be dead, and so would their quest.

Tonight feels different because she is here with him. He could be alone right now, feeling desperate and directionless and miserable by himself. But she chose to stay. His life isn’t so lonely anymore, and for the first time he truly appreciates that fact.

He takes her hand with both of his, holding it across his chest and lays there, her other hand absently stroking his hair, listening only to their own breaths, rising and falling in sync.

“As long as I’ve still got you, it’ll be fine,” he decides. He truly believes this.

DEMARCATION II

(Fight the Future)

SCULLY

Scully’s meeting with the Office of Professional Review had not gone well. Being forced to take a step back after getting so close to something big has become her lot in life.

AD Cassidy had not been impressed with the evidence she and Mulder had brought back from Dallas. Scully had trouble explaining its significance to a room full of directors in a way they could understand and be excited about in the same way she and Mulder could. Now they don’t have the means or permission to follow up, and with the trouble they’re in, they aren’t likely to get it.

Now, not only have they removed her as Mulder’s partner, they’re trying to remove her from his life entirely. They’re sending her clear across the country to another field office with little choice in the matter. She’s amazed at their ability to do so with a single pen stroke.

Her only other option would be to quit. Either way she loses him.

They’ll do what they can, she knows it. They will move forward, in whatever way they can. They always do.

She presses the elevator button and waits. The doors open and she’s greeted by a face she’d secretly hoped she would never have to see again.

Diana fucking Fowley.

She briefly considers waiting for the next elevator, but that kind of avoidance is beneath her, childish. She purses her lips together and steps in, pressing the ground floor button. “Agent Fowley,” she says politely. “Nice to see you’re back at work.”

“Thank you, it’s good to be back.”

She can feel Fowley’s eyes upon her, and instantly regrets not stopping in the bathroom to tidy herself up. She hasn’t even showered since they got back to DC and she looks like shit. Her appearance isn’t typically something that concerns her too much, and she hates feeling this way. She hates feeling inferior to the always well put together Diana Fowley.

Scully prays the elevator stops at another floor for another passenger to end this awkwardness but God isn’t listening today.

“How’s Agent Mulder?” Fowley asks.

Scully pauses, not sure what her angle is. “He’s fine.”

“I heard through the grapevine you two are getting reassigned. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Scully is silent, not knowing what to say. I’m sure you are.

“It’s probably for the best. From what he indicated, you two haven’t been seeing much progress.”

Scully bites her tongue and stares at the doors.

Open, open, open. Please.

Apparently, Diana Fowley isn’t fucking finished. “But it must be hard, disagreeing all the time. You both must feel such a relief to be free of that. To not feel… so held back.”

She can’t continue with the silent treatment, she doesn’t want to appear impertinent. “We make it work.” Scully speaks in the present tense because Mulder is her partner, regardless of what OPR or Diana Fowley has to say about it.

Fowley scoffs. “Yeah, I’m sure you’ve got it all figured out. His passion, his drive. His mission. It’s all wonderful until you realize it’s not aligned with your own.”

She starts to feel sick, and wonders why the elevator ride never feels this long on any other day.

“Just be grateful it never went further than a work partnership. He’s tough to shake.”

Scully feels like she might actually throw up. How the hell does she know how far their relationship has gone? Every word is a dagger.

Mercifully, the elevator dings and the doors open.

“Goodbye, Agent Fowley,” Scully grits as she exits the elevator and heads through the lobby as quickly as reasonably possible towards the sweet relief of the sidewalk. She pushes the heavy door open and takes a deep breath.

She doesn’t care which direction she walks, she just has to get away from this building. Mulder had dropped her off directly from the airport and she’d planned to take a cab back to his place after the meeting, but now she doesn’t know what to do or where she should go.

How can one woman put her so off balance? Make her feel so small, so worthless? How can the words of someone she barely knows bring her down like this?

She’s suddenly questioning everything, everything she knows and trusts about Mulder, everything about their partnership, and for what? Why? Because of one woman who has had him in a way she never will.

Why did she have to take that elevator? She felt fine before she ran into her. She’d felt hopeful that something good might still come of all this.

You both must feel such relief to be free of that. Not… so held back.

Why did she say that? Had Mulder said something like that to her? It makes her ill to think they’d talked about her behind her back. What if she really is just an annoyance to him, in spite of everything he’s said? She knows he cares about her as a friend, and she’s never going to question that. But is he humoring her about their partnership? Do they even have a real partnership if he’s not being honest with her about her role within it?

She can’t change who she is to better suit his needs. She can’t become someone she isn’t, even for him. She feels inadequate, and completely powerless. Maybe it’s just her own fear and self doubt, but she’s inclined to believe what Diana Fowley is saying.

Of course he would feel that way. She’s been so stupid.

His passion, his drive. His mission. It’s all wonderful until you realize it’s not aligned with your own.

It’s taken her awhile to realize it but she knows she is passionate about this work. Maybe not for the same reasons as Mulder, but their goal is the same: uncovering the truth. What were Diana Fowley’s goals? What had she wanted that Mulder hadn’t wanted? What caused their breakup?

He’s tough to shake.

If she wasn’t sure before that Diana Fowley had ulterior motives regarding Mulder, she’s sure now. She wants to kick herself for not telling him how she felt before this woman came back into his life. It pains her to think that she might know Mulder even better than Scully does.

She knows what she has to do now. She slowly turns around and heads back towards the Hoover building for what she now knows will be one of the last times.

He’ll probably be secretly glad to be rid of her. She’s done nothing but hold him back.

MULDER

They’re splitting us up.

He knows it must be true. He and Scully have tugged at the FBI’s last remaining thread of patience, and they’ve finally had it. And just when they are finally onto something again, something big.

His thoughts return to their imprudent excursion to Dallas and what they’d discovered. They’d both seen so much, but only put the X Files in further danger of remaining closed forever. If only they had been able to turn up something concrete, something to help justify reopening them, they could get moving again. He feels so close now, closer than ever, but ever since their office went up in flames he’s been losing his resources one by one.

Now he’s about to lose his most valuable resource.

“Salt Lake City, Utah, transfer effective immediately.” Scully looks exhausted, depleted. Sad, really. She tells him she isn’t accepting the transfer, and that she’s resigned from the FBI.

“I need you on this, Scully.”

“You don’t need me, Mulder. You never have. I’ve only held you back.”

Her assertion takes him completely aback. Where the hell is this coming from? Does she really believe that after all they’ve been through? How can she not know how much he needs her?

She turns to go. He’s let her walk out on him in the past, but he’s not going to let her do it tonight. He walks after her.

“If you want to tell yourself that so you can quit with a clear conscience, you can, but you’re wrong.”

She whips around, looking angry, but mostly just defeated. “Why did they assign me to you in the first place, Mulder? To debunk your work, to reign you in, to shut you down.”

“But you saved me!” He can’t believe he has to tell her this. It’s felt so obvious to him for so long. It goes to the very core of why they are so good together. “As frustrating as it’s been sometimes, your goddamn strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over.”

This is what he hasn’t been able to get across to her, because it would mean talking about Diana and all the reasons that partnership could never have worked the way he functions with Scully. He let Diana walk out on him for a hundred reasons but primarily because they could never have gotten to this place of honesty. Not like he can with Scully.

She knows it too, she knows it, and she’s still leaving him. Maybe Diana got to her, somehow. Maybe she can’t bring herself to admit to him that Diana has left her feeling weak and insufficient.

She couldn’t be more wrong.

“You kept me honest,” he tells her. He’s never been so honest with her before. Her eyes are filling with tears. She’s about to leave him, maybe forever, so he brings it home.

“You made me a whole person.”

She looks floored. She’s completely turned around now, facing him. He knows now she's needed to hear all of this, is desperate to hear it. He wonders if she’s always needed to. He’s hasn’t communicated this as well as he should have and it’s his own damn fault. He’s been so selfish for so long. She’s lost so much because of him and here she is, still seeking his approval. He feels so inadequate, so unworthy of her.

“I owe you everything, Scully, and you owe me nothing.”

It’s the truth. She could leave right now, and he’d never begrudge her that. He’d miss her endlessly, but he’d never deny her that choice, if she truly wanted it. He could never deny her anything.

“I don’t know if I want to do this alone,” he confesses. “I don’t even know if I can. And if I quit now, they win.”

He’s not sure what makes her give in, what makes her change her mind, or if she even has. She’s not one to be at a loss for words. But at this moment she can only collapse into him, resigned. She’s committed to him whether he can bring himself to believe it or not.

As he holds her close he feels something stir inside him that has lain dormant for five years. Dormant, yet vigilant. She kisses him on his forehead, a safe, tender gesture they’ve shared in the past. But he feels something inside him he hasn’t felt with her before: bravery. He wants more.

He takes her face in his hands, and makes her look at him. He looks into her eyes with new intent, something he hopes beyond hope she wants too.

She could walk out of his life at any moment. It’s now or never.

He’s not doing this to make her stay. He’s doing it because he can’t not do it anymore.

Their faces search each other’s and he draws closer and closer, slowly, the anticipation intoxicating. He knows it’s going to happen because she’s moving towards him too.

And just as he can feel her breath on his tongue she yelps and recoils.

At first he’s unsure of what happened. Did she change her mind? He was so sure it had felt right.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. He wouldn’t want her to think he’d taken advantage.

“No,” she reassures him. “Something stung me.” She reaches back behind her neck and pulls the offending interloper from inside her collar.

A bee.

He wants to laugh at the irony. The bee is there because of him, and now it’s completely ruined his moment.

Goddamnit. Why is the universe making this so hard for them?

“It must have gotten in your shirt,” he says quietly, the disappointment still painfully present.

“Mulder? Something’s wrong.”

You’re goddamn right something’s wrong. We should be making out right now.

But she looks afraid. She starts to grab onto him for support, slowly sliding down to the floor. She’s listing off all her symptoms to him, ever the doctor. He tries to remember everything in case she’s unable to tell the paramedics… oh god, he has to call the ambulance.

He lays her down gently and runs back to his phone to report an agent down. When he returns, she appears almost completely incapacitated.

“Scully? Hey, Scully?” He holds her cheek and moves the hair from her face. “Don’t do this, come on. I’m getting you to a hospital.” He wraps his arms underneath her and hoists her up. She’s gone completely limp and this hold is not going to work. He turns her in his arms until he’s cradling her, lifts her up, and starts to head towards the elevator.

As he emerges from his building, he hears the sirens approaching. Thank god. The paramedics jump out of the ambulance and help Mulder place her onto a gurney.

“Scully, the paramedics are here. I’ll be right behind them, okay? I’m coming.”

He starts frantically telling the paramedics her symptoms and mentions the virus he’s certain has caused this. As he approaches the driver’s seat to ask which hospital they’re taking her to, everything goes black.

Thanks for reading! See you back here tomorrow for chapter five, or you can continue reading on A03.

#txf #the x files #msr #fanfic #msr fanfic #fanfiction #culmination #diana fucking fowley

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nerd-chronicals · 5 years

Text

Just Dancing in the Rain (Ringo Langly x Reader)

I had a bit of free time today and felt like writing. But my inbox was and still is rather empty so I found some prompts and wrote a couple of short ficletts for some of the characters (mostly Ringo). but I hope you guys enjoy them.

This prompt was Play or kiss in the rain and on the citrus scale it is a Citrus

@bechobbi @the-best-kung-fu @datarsiah-noodles @lone-gunwoman-of-the-week @wholesome90stv @fawn-soul

Ringo always found it amusing how much you loved playing and dancing in the rain or “enjoying the rain” as you called it. He watched from the doorway of the small house the two of you had rented for a small vacation as you ran outside feel the rain. It was still early in the morning and you were still wearing your pajamas. As much as he disliked the rain growing up on the farm, now when it rains he can't help but smile even as you drag him outside with you to enjoy it with him. When the two of you eventually make it back in thoroughly soaked through you'll need a hot shower and to reheat the breakfast you had started before the rain started falling.

#ringo langly x reader #langly x reader #lone gunmen x reader #finally lone gunmen #please request stuff

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mlmxreader · 3 years

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Hot Summer Night | John Fitzgerald Byers x Gender Neutral!werewolf!reader

request; “It's three in the morning, you know” and gender neutral for Byers please 💕 (also I love your writing) - @foxkrycek

summary; hot summer nights are just the worst, aren't they?

warnings; swearing and smoking

Sleepless nights during the summer were common enough as they were, but with the added lycanthropy, you knew that spending the summer with your boyfriend, Byers, and his friends at their office was going to be even tougher; even if it wasn't a full moon and you weren't due for a shift, you still struggled with the summer nights. They were hot, and you were almost constantly sweating, no matter how you tried to sleep, no matter how many fans you turned on and how many windows you opened, no matter what you wore to bed, you were constantly hot and sweating, your tongue hanging out of your mouth as you tried to cool yourself off.

You didn't care what time it was when you escaped the office to sit outside, sitting on the cool steps as you dared to smoke a cigarette, your eyes fixated on the smiling moon, its grin a brilliant beautiful silver and tilted to the side. You wanted to relax and to maybe even tire yourself out, but with the hot summer night, you knew that you couldn't.

"It's three in the morning, you know," came your boyfriend's whispered voice as he dared to sit beside you, his dressing gown tied tightly around his waist as he frowned and looked at you with great concern in his cobalt eyes. "Are you alright?"

You nodded, wiping sweat from your brow with the collar of your t-shirt as you let out a heavy sigh. You felt like you were being slowly boiled alive. "Yeah, just... can't fucking sleep for shit - it's too hot."

Byers nodded, seeming to know as he dared to rest his hand on your knee, offering a sad smile. "Is there any way I can help? Maybe I could put a damp towel on the fan, or, or-"

"It's okay," you told him softly, shaking your head and throwing your cigarette halfway across the alley with a huff before leaning against him, your head on his shoulder. "I think it's just something I gotta get used to, hot summer nights being the bane of my existence."

He hated the sound of that, he hated that you thought that you would have to get used to being uncomfortable during a time that was supposed to be sunny and joyous, he hated that you thought such a thing and wanted to do something to help - but what, he had no clue. He wasn't a werewolf, he didn't know how to help you to cool down, he didn't know how lycanthropy worked... he considered calling Mulder, knowing that the FBI agent would surely know something, but when you grasped his arm and grumbled, Byers froze.

He wouldn't move until you let go, he didn't want to spoil your moment of comfort, and he even dared to smile a little as he relaxed. "When, when are you due to, uh, to shift next?"

"Next week," you muttered tiredly. "Monday, to be exact... why?"

"I, uh, I was thinking," he started, "maybe we could... maybe we could do soemthing, me and you and the guys, you know, go out for coffee or, or we could go to the beach for the day."

"We could do that," you agreed with a sharp and long yawn. "Maybe tomorrow, if you and the boys can spare the time?"

"I think we'd all be grateful to get out for the day," Byers admitted. "But, if we, if we go to the beach do you think that we might, you know, might be able to slip away for a second?"

"What were you thinking?" You hummed. "Ice cream and a walk on the sand? Swimming the open water? Just sneaking away to get some time together, just you and me?"

"Anything you want," he replied, "anything at all, even... even if it's just a walk down the pier and back, we can... we can do anything you want."

You nodded, letting out another yawn before stretching a little and grumbling. "I think I need to try and get some sleep first, though... mind if I steal half of your bed?"

"I'll take the other half," Byers said quietly, a trace of a smile on his lips. "If that's alright with you?"

#john fitzgerald byers #byers #the x files fanfic #x files fanfic #the x files #x files #txf #the lone gunmen #tlg #x reader #reader insert #x reader fic #x reader fanfic #x reader fanfiction #werewolf!reader #mlem writes

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capan-devereaux · 7 years

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Ringo Langly x reader (X-Files/ Lone Gunmen)👽

Thanks to datarsiah-noodles for commenting that I should keep going I wrote this. Again langly might be a little ooc. This starts off really ... something. Ringo left your lips and moved to you neck leaving little butterfly kisses all down it making his way to your collarbone nipping at it. You pulled him back to your face pushing your lips against his again. His lips moved with yours and pressed into you with urgency, as your lips danced his hands pulled you closer and further into his lap. he leans back into the couch and you take the chance to shift your weight making him groan. "_____" He managed to say. After kissing his jaw you say in a innocent voice " Yes Ringo ", When he didn't say anything you added "is something wrong ?" "No ..." Ringo said quickly. You remembered something Frohike said , "Is this about what Frohike said the other day, about being a thirty year ..." "Thirty year old virgin." he inturpted, "Yeah I, I guess I just never got around to it." He finished before looking down. "well" you kissed him before continuing, "I never got around to it either. So I guess we could try it now or we could wait till later." before you could get up his hand yet again pulled you closer causing your chest to press against his then he said, "I don't think we should wait" ---- I hope you guys like this again if someone asks me to i will continue this but I also have to work on school work. again I hope you guys like this.

#datarsiah-noodles #Langly #Ringo #x reader #X-Files #The Lone Gunmen #Ringo Langly x reader #part two

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alexsmitposts · 5 years

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BC: Why Are We Being Lied to? BC stands for NEO’s Banned Classic. This article was originally published by our journal on 30.12.13 For some reason, this article is missing from Google search results. Since this article remains pretty relevant to those geopolitical events that are taking place on the geopolitical stage today, we deem it possible to present it to our readers once again. Should it go missing again, you may be confident that you will see it republished by NEO once more, should it still remain relevant by that time. Over the past few years, there has been a general breakdown in how reality is perceived. In fact, the term “reality” itself is under assault, everything from issues of controlled news, false flag terrorism, challenges to basic physical laws and even issues of “disclosure,” the tantalizing idea that a complex interstellar world exists. A very real part of what has happened is a calculated attack on traditions and institutions through psychological warfare, a subset of “game theory warfare,” itself a subset of “chaos theory.” Thus, we doubt or believe based on a flow of controlled information and orchestrated events. However, controlling information has proven risky business. Toward that end, what had always been a “lunatic fringe” of biblical prophecy, jingoism or agenda driven “revisionism” has now been supplanted with a virtual ocean of inanity that has crept into the public domain. When traced to its roots, too often one finds powerful organizations. During the last few days, Washington think tanks have released “rumors” citing president Obama as a Kenyan born homosexual, “Bathhouse Barry,” of radical Muslim roots who attempted to gain control of America’s nuclear arsenal in order to destroy Israel. These stories and dozens like them all trace down to sources close to the leadership of the “opposition party,” the bizarre confederation of right wing extremists, the Israel lobby and those aspects of the financial industry that can only be termed “organized crime.” Sadly, up to 30% of the American public believes, not just these missives but things far stranger. Among that 30% is the majority of the leadership of America’s armed forces, security services and police, groups that have descended the evolutionary ladder at a frightening pace. As American “humorist”, Jim W. Dean, so often says, “You just can make these things up.” What the public is left with is uncertainty, in some ways preferable to blind ignorance. Though the original intent, voice in television shows such as “X Files,” in the oft-repeated theme, “Believe No One,” is to destroy public confidence in institutions, this hasn’t worked out as planned. Perhaps that’s why they call it “chaos theory.” Long ago, science developed its own methods, “epistemology,” for discerning what is “likely.” Scientific modeling or experimental method have long sense become unreliable indicators as they are dependent on the “subjectivity” of observation and the vagaries of statistical analysis, the science of making 2 plus two equal three. The real basis of analysis since the latter half of the 20th century has been the philosophy that sneaks into films. In America, some organized crime groups that had “lost their roots” reinvented themselves based on the “Godfather” films of Francis Ford Coppola. One film, “The Usual Suspects,” has a line that has served me well. “The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince people he didn’t exist.” Toward that end, the modern “mainstream media seems, when their “work product” is analyzed using methodologies developed for intelligence analysis, appears to be “tasked” in three ways: Covering the tracks of very real secret societies and conspiraciesProtecting a history that is almost entirely falseSpewing a continual narrative both unquestioned and unsupportableIn the process, we have created an incubator for the rise of mediocrity. President George W. Bush has evidenced this more than any individual in recent years. A simple trip to “YouTube” will give evidence of this. His glaring ignorance and endless lapses of decorum were far from simply anecdotal. Yes, he really thought “Africa” was a country. Is it true he couldn’t find Africa on a map? I have privately been assured that though this was the case when he took office in 2001, after visiting Africa he became aware. I would only know this as author of his briefing materials on his last visit. Touching on the issue of redress, the restoration of reality or “truth” has become a process well beyond “encyclopedic.” Approaching this task, television shows in the US, be they “The Secret History of World War II” or Oliver Stone’s “Untold History of the United States,” not only fall short of the task but exist more to close doors than open them. Such efforts, and they are many, perhaps endless, are “gatekeeper functions.” The question people enjoy and ask most often is this; “Is there a secret world out there.” The answer is “yes.” What then qualifies a source as genuine and how does one discern real information from the endless “blind alleys” that have been created to channel modern day adventurers and explorers into areas of harmless or perhaps “not so harmless” confusion? Our tools are observation, reason and analysis. Beyond that, we are faced with the traditional issues of faith, what do we believe, what do we trust? More and more intuition itself has to serve, where such a thing still exists. Toward that end, we can begin a walk down several paths in such areas a “what can be told” or “what can be reasonably surmised.” At the pinnacle, one is faced with unpleasant revelations, that the world is ruled by secret societies, all of which are rooted in beliefs that can be termed “supernatural” or “extraterrestrial.” What can be told is that these organizations are both centuries old “societies” and quasi-governmental organizations whose efforts periodically surface and, in doing so, give evidence of a reality that in startling ways resembles popular science fiction. What can be told is that this coincidental similarity is no an accident. What is safest is approaching what we know and can prove in the mundane world and how it diverges from popular mythology. For Americans, the Kennedy assassination was paramount, at least prior to 9/11. As the 50th anniversary of that even passed recently, many were disturbed at the media’s attempts to restore public confidence in the Warren Report. The popular film, JFK ended such beliefs forever. Even prior to its release, the “Oswald and the Magic Bullet” theory was an obvious sham. Yet, millions of Americans were sickened when the media again tried to “put the toothpaste back in the tube.” This is the official finding of the US government, issued in 1976 by the House Select Committee on Assassinations: Scientific acoustical evidence establishes a high probability that two gunmen fired at President John F. Kennedy. Other scientific evidence does not preclude the possibility of two gunmen firing at the President. Scientific evidence negates some specific conspiracy allegations.The committee believes, on the basis of the evidence available to it, that President John F. Kennedy was probably assassinated as a result of a conspiracy. The committee is unable to identify the other gunman or the extent of the conspiracyFunny thing, nobody mentioned any of this, the public finding of the US government, when selling the “lone gunman” story to a new generation. Similarly, 9/11 has the exact same problem. The 9/11 Commission Report was rescinded by a majority of members who then asked for members of the Bush administration to be prosecuted for both perjury and withholding evidence. This is public record. Since that time, not only has hard evidence discovered a domestic conspiracy working in concert with foreign intelligence agencies at the heart of 9/11 but finding a reputable scientist that supports the conclusions of the original 9/11 Commission report is almost impossible. There is undeniable hard proof that the 7/7 attacks in Britain were also “false flag” attacks. There is undeniable hard proof that the invasion of not just Iraq but Afghanistan was planned long before 9/11, not just those nations but five others as well as stated by General Wesley Clark and confirmed by Gwyneth Todd and many others. Of recent terror attacks and mass killings, the following are known to be “false flag attacks,” orchestrated by intelligence agencies. By “known,” I mean exactly that, no doubt whatsoever. The DC sniper attacks and subsequent anthrax poisonings, the Breveik killings in Norway, Sandy Hook, the “Gabby Giffords” shootings, the Fort Hood shootings and the Boston Marathon bombings There are no “theories” involved, there is a mass of evidence and clear proof that the story given the public in each of these cases in outlandish and unreasonable. Were one to examine recent events involving Syria, the close alignment of Al Qaeda with groups within US intelligence and their Saudi and Israeli counterparts should “deconstruct” the entirety of the basis for America’s “War on Terror.” Why hasn’t it? Why does the media continue to claim that, though the Taliban ended almost all opium production in Afghanistan, the record heroin production, now over 90% of world supplies now produced there, is being flown around the world by that same organization that doesn’t possess a single aircraft? Can one see a coincidental relationship between heroin trafficking and production and CIA involvement in Afghanistan? Is there historical evidence that this is not the first time? Can we say “Golden Triangle” and “Cali Cartel?” There are areas more important to human development that simple proof that criminal elements have manipulated world events that have probably brought about the deaths of several million people. Let’s take a short look at science. To Einstein, the “holy grail” was solving unified field theory. Simply put, perhaps overly so, the relationship between gravity and magnetism and waves and particles never fit within his ideas of general relativity. Recent revelations that particles travel at above the speed of light, the result of super-collider experiments, has, in actuality, totally disproven Einstein’s original theories. There is a problem when dealing with science. As for history or “news,” it can generally be invented. In science, there are communities that share information, affirm publishings and follow events very carefully. Thus, when areas of research “go dark,” and capabilities are spoken of or even exhibited that are beyond accepted scientific advances, we are challenging something more serious than “public opinion.” Yet, exactly this has happened. Again, we enter an areas of “what can be told.” To those who work in engineering, certain scientific advances, particularly the jump from the development of the transistor to the development of the first integrated circuit is believed to be “non-linear.” This means, technologies that have no history of development have entered our daily lives. You can see where this goes, an area no one wants to travel. Remember “cold fusion?” Remember that it was a “fraud?” We were told that the first experiments were not able to be duplicated that that this “free energy” technology was a dead end? Ever hear of LENR? This stands for Low Energy Nuclear Reactions. The term actually means “cold fusion.” Billions are spent each year, by governments and private corporations, in the development of cold fusion projects. Units exist that could power automobiles, aircraft, even cities. A quick Google search will list the companies involved, the factories and laboratories, the investment opportunities and yet why is none of this reported? Would oil be worthless? Would conventional nuclear power, even wind and solar power, be worthless? Why are we being lied to, “in plain sight” as it were? The answer isn’t simple but there is an answer of sorts. The excuse given originates from the writings of Reverend Thomas Robert Malthus, who in 1798, espoused that “progress” would bring about limitless population growth that would end in disaster. So, we hide technologies. We have had the ability for decades to defeat gravity using technologies developed in Germany in the 1930s, rumored to have been given to them by extraterrestrials. The US built its first anti-gravity “ship” in 1953. I have seen it. It is old and ugly but works, sort of. Nanotechnologies developed in labs “impossibly” at “0 g” have produced semiconductors capable of creating fields that allow vehicle performance typically attributed to UFOs. One of the more common but less spoken of areas is weather modification. Energy weapons developed in “dark projects” are being used to modify weather in some areas of the world, particularly the oil rich states of the Persian Gulf. This is more “hidden in plain sight” use of non-existent technology. We have only touched on a few areas, they are endless. What we can prove is that events are not what they seem, science is not what it seems, this is clear. What is also clear is that anything we are told is suspect and not by accident. Mistrust in everything is engineered into our very being as a method of control, absolute control. Gordon Duff is a Marine combat veteran of the Vietnam War that has worked on veterans and POW issues for decades and consulted with governments challenged by security issues. He’s a senior editor and chairman of the board of Veterans Today, especially for the online magazine “New Eastern Outlook.”

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christinky · 6 years

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The Runaway, (Bucky x reader)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Mention of blood and cutting (Not too much, very short), some angst, some fluff, running away, mention of death.

Words: A lot

Summary: You messed up, people died because of your mistake. Not being able to handle it you leave the Avengers and start a new life. You are happy living in a small town, until your past comes to find you and you have to make a decision.

A/N: I’M SUPER PUMPED FOR THIS. I hope you guys like this! I’ve had this idea with a couple other plot and situations, my spotify discover had some songs that for some reason helped me come up with this. Let me know what you think.

The light pries through the blinds, you can feel the warmth of his arm wrapped around you. You lie there still, slowly waking up, enjoying the cosiness of the warm bed. Cuddling up closer to you fiance he starts to move, “Good morning beautiful” he says in his raspy voice.

You smile as he pulls you in closer, holding you close. “Good morning sunshine.”

Taking this opportunity you flip over to face him, his strong arms still holding you close. You bury your face into his neck, closing your eyes in peace.

The room was quiet, warm, just right. His lips are pressing against the top of your head, making you smile. You lift your head to look up at him, his brown wavy hair is all messy, eyes soft and full of love as they look back down at you. This gives you hope that you are going to truly be happy.

“I have to get ready for work,” He pouts as you start to cling to him, not letting go, “Please (Y/N), I have to go to work.”

He tries prying your grip apart so he can escape. “No, 5 more minutes!” You demand, still half asleep.

“I’ll see you when you get home from work love, besides only 12 more days until you will be Mrs. Matthew Evans.” He smiles as he places a kiss on your forehead, knowing that you don’t like morning breath kisses.

“I can’t wait.” Your eyes meet as you bite your bottom lip, his brown eyes lit up with joy.

He leaves you in bed as he gets ready for work. The two of you met 3 years ago, a few months after you moved to town and he proposed 6 months ago. You are happy, happier than you thought you would be but something is missing.

Flashes of the life you left behind come up often, memories of him. The one you left. You never thought you could be as happy as you were then, but you are pretty close. With all the happy memories there are also painful ones, which caused you to run, change your name, and go into hiding.

Matt comes back into the bedroom, sits next to you on the bed. The smell of his cologne fills the room, it is a handsome, musky scent. His hand bushes your hair back, then bringing it to your cheek. The warmth is welcomed as he pulls your head up, pressing his lips to yours. His lips are soft and loving. You melt against him, “I love you babe.”

“I love you too.” You place one more kiss goodbye before he walks out of the room, moments later you hear the front door close. You mean what you say, you love him, even if you think of your old boyfriend at times.

You roll out of your bed, knowing that its your turn to get ready. Opening your closet, you search for something to wear, eventually settling on a pink tank top with a gray cardigan and jeans. Your morning routine is simple, brushing your teeth then a quick simple everyday makeup and throwing your hair into a pony tail.

Before you start to head, you stare into the mirror just like almost everyday. Looking at who you are now, and looking back at who you used to be. Remembering why you left, and why you can’t go back. Your chest starts to tighten from the pain, head starts to get heavy and eyes weak. It what has to be done though, and with that you grab your purse and go to work.

When you first moved to town, you searched for a job. At the community center they were looking for a youth programs coordinator. You were drawn to it, thinking that you could help some kids and have fun yourself.

You love going to work, during the day you plan events and make sure the day’s activities were all set for when the kids got out of school. Helping coach and coordinate sports games for high schoolers, giving them a place to have fun with their friends and get help with school work. No one expected high schoolers to be coming to the program but after a while you had a regular group that came. Middle schoolers and elementary is easy, they all flood in after school. You have games and activities set up, you always make you that you are available to play and help them when needed.

It makes you feel important, like you are still helping those who need it, you are making a difference. You know almost all the kids that come through the doors, and they all love you. At the end of the day you stand on the steps as the kids run to get to their parents. Full of pride as you see the joy on their faces. Until you start to feel your stomach drop, thinking that if they knew who you really were, would they still accept you, still love you. You get sick just thinking about it.

Rather than driving or taking a bus you walk to and from work. You only live about 3/4s of a mile away, and you like the quiet alone time you get from it. The sun is setting, the sky filled with pink and orange. The beauty helps calm you. A cold breeze brushes past you, sending a shiver down your spine, but it is welcomed. The smells of barbecues, fresh cut grass and nature fill the air. The air is much fresher here than what you were used to. You inhale deeply, taking in the smells, letting your shoulders relax.

A huge bang rings out from the other side of the street. You freeze, looking for the source of the sound, heart pounding in your chest. Instantly being thrown back into your past.

The sound of gunshots fill the air. You are on the rooftop alone except for a lone gunman by the edge. You and Nat were given orders to take out the gunmen on the rooftops. The rest of your team is on the ground and flying through the air focusing on the main target.

You focus on the gunman as you try to catch him off guard. You are quiet, making sure not to alert him. In an instant his head jerks to look at you, focusing his gun at you. Staying calm, you use your gun to shot him in the arm before he can fire a shot, causing him to drop the gun in pain.

A harsh force hits your head, knocking you to the ground. Looking around you realize you forgot a parameter check to look for anyone else on the roof, therefor you did not see the guy hiding in the shadows. Its 2 against one. This is on you, knowing full well that that was the first thing you should have done before fulling entering the rooftop.

You get back on your feet, wanting to fix your mistake fast. He goes to punch you again, you grab his arm and pull it down. Pulling up your knee to bash his face against. He hits the ground, blood pouring out from his nose. You kick him in the crotch to make sure he is down.

At this point the gunman is ready for you, but he doesn’t have a gun drawn at you this time. Its down, against his side. He has a sly smile on his face, watching you intensely. The look in his eyes makes you uneasy, his eyes are crazy, almost with happiness rather than anger. You eyes instantly notice his hand, in it is a bomb.

You run at him, looking to take him out at his knees. Your heart is racing, hands sweaty, mind fully focused on him. He stands still, waiting for you. Just before you reach him, he jumps. Rushing to the side you see him falling, you watch in horror as you see him throwing the bomb into a broken window of the building you are on.

The office building has yet to be evacuated due to the entrances leading to a war zone. No other ways out. Your heart drops as you see glass shatter, flames fly out, followed by screaming of people. Innocent people.

Under your feet you feel the building start to shake. Apparently the building’s structure was blown from the bomb. It is about to come down. You look to the side, assessing the distance between buildings, figuring you could make it. You sprint as fast as you can to the edge and jump.

Your arms meet the rough texture of the roof as you slide against it. Quickly, you push yourself up as you see the building you were just on collapsing, with everyone inside it. Tears start pouring out of you, thrown back in shock. Your head starts hurting with the realization that this is your fault. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” You hear Bucky, your boyfriend, screaming through the comms to you, “(Y/N)! Are you okay?”

But you don’t respond, overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt. You messed up, this is on you. The death of hundreds of people. Without thinking, you rip the comm out of your ear and throw it into the rubble of the collapsed building. Making sure you aren’t noticed, you escape and start running.

“Ms. (Y/N)” You hear a voice call out, “Are you okay?”

Your attention dawn to a parent in the driveway across the street, “Oh yeah, I’m sorry. That loud boom just scared me a bit!” You shout back to him.

“I’m so sorry, that was just the hood of my car, I was checking on the engine.” You let out a sigh of relief as you jump back to reality.

“Oh you’re fine!” You assure him, “I’m just a little jumpy is all.”

You continue walking, trying to forget about the flashback you just had. Instead thinking about your wedding, you have planned it all out perfectly. A nice simple ceremony, with some friends you have made along with his family followed by a small reception. Its going to be simple but gorgeous. Tomorrow you pick up your dress, a lovely full length with a straight skirt. Modest yet sexy.

When you arrive home, Matt is waiting for you with dinner, like usual. The fact that Matt could cook was amazing, you love that about him. He is also kind and gentle, yet rough and strong. Like the best of both worlds. The kids at the community center actually pushed you to him, this is a pretty small town but not too small.

Matt had the kids in his class, and once they learned that you were single too they instantly went into matchmaker mode. Setting the two of you up, and its been wonderful ever sense.

Once dinner was over, you took a shower and lie in bed. Matt is already in bed reading a book when you enter the bedroom. You fold over the comforter and jump in next to him. He closes his book and turns off the light. Lying down and reaching out his arm for you. You snuggle up closer to him, head on his chest and legs tangled up.

Looking up your eyes meet his. Getting lost in his blue eyes, they are stunning. His scruff rubbing against your forehead before he places a kiss there. He is smiling from ear to ear, your heart jumps at the sight of him. He flips over onto his side, so you guys are facing each other. You feel the coldness of his arm on your lower back. “I missed you love, I’m so happy to have you back.” He whispers to you.

“I missed you too Buck” you reply before pulling him into a kiss.

You open your eyes slowly, you look up gently. Not expecting to be hit with disappointment. Not realizing you had a smile on your face as you feel it fade away. You are cuddled up with Matt, seeing he is still sound asleep. You lie there, remembering the dream you just had, how it felt right. How you wish it was real, and you were back in Bucky’s arms.

Immediately you get the thought out of your head. Knowing that it will never happen, you left that life, making sure no one could connect the dots from here and no one would come find you. After all, the world thinks the real you is dead. Thinking your body was lost in the rubble, one if the ones that were never identified. They found your comm, and they assumed you fell along with it.

Matt starts to stir as he wakes up, his arms stretch out as he lets out a moan. Then looking down to meet your eyes. Hiding the disappointment in sadness that was just there moments ago.

The two of you carry on your usual routine, he gets up first and gets ready, kissing you goodbye. About an hour later you get ready, and head to work.

You finish locking up the building, as you leave to go pick up your wedding dress. You are excited, even if your dream still lingers in the back of your mind, not helping but thinking that it should be Bucky at the end of the isle.

The dress shop agreed to stay open late so you could pick up the dress and do a final fitting to make sure it was perfect. As you walk out of the dressing room, the two employees look at you in amazement. You look beautiful. You stand on the platform in front of the mirrors.

Not meaning to, you start crying. They both think its from finding the perfect dress and being so happy. Part of it was from how you look in the dress, you don’t want to admit it to yourself but deep inside you knew this was wrong. Yes you love Matt but he will never be your Bucky.

The seamstress makes sure everything is perfect before you go back to take the dress off. In the dressing room you let yourself stop faking the happiness. You allow yourself to be sad, for just a moment. Because this is your like now, you had no choice.

Leaving the shop, you head to your friend’s house. You met Nina when you first moved here, she was searching for a roommate so you applied. She had agreed to be your maid of honor in the wedding, and was now letting you hide the dress at her place. She knows nothing about your feelings or your real past of course, you can’t even let your best friend know anything.

The night sky is clear, stars filling the sky. The air is cool and crisp, still and quiet. Wedding dress in your arm, you try to compose yourself and focus back on the wedding and how you are still happy. A sharp pain strikes the back of your head as something makes contact with you, sending you straight into the ground. You try to get up but hit again, then everything goes dark.

You feel a pounding headache as you come back to you senses. You keep your eyes closed to help fight the pain. You try to move, only to feel something cold and hard against your wrists, which are above your head. You start to open your eyes, you are sitting on a dirt floor. Looking around the room, you see that the walls are covered in dirt, one door, no windows, the ceiling is mostly blocks of wood and more dirt. There is a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling that lights up the small room. You are underground. Thats when you see cuffs around your wrists with chains attached to the wall holing you up. Your ankles are also chained but attached to some weights rather than the floor.

On the other side of the room, right across from you, there was a computer system. about 7 screens. You think about what those could possibly be for. On the seat in front of it you see your wedding dress draped over the back.

Your heart is about to burst out of your chest its pounding so hard. You can feel your palms get clammy. For the first time in years, you are afraid. Having no idea where you are, why you are here and what is going on. Thinking that this can’t be linked to your past, you are dead, how did anyone find you. That is the only reason you can think of, this life you have lived the past 4 years is over.

The door in the corner starts to open. Your breathing is still intense as you prepare for someone to walk through. Its a man, he is build like a house and tall, his face is covered with a mask. You can’t even see his eyes or anything. “Are you ready?” His voice is disguised, must be a device in the mask.

You are cold, face pale, but you try to keep a neutral expressions so he doesn’t know you are scared. “For what?” You ask, keeping your voice from shaking.

He turns on the computers and starting to do something on the main screen. You cant see as he is blocking the screen from you, which only causes you more fear. “To see them again.” He laughs as he speaks.

Your stomach drops them, knowing exactly who that is. It can only mean your old team, the one you ran away from, the one that was like your family, the Avengers. That means Bucky. Your mind races, thinking about what they will think, have they known that you weren’t dead, if there did were they searching for you, or did they think you were dread and you are suddenly back and alive.

The man walks over to you, a sack in his hands. He places it over your head, hiding you from the screen, he must be waiting to make your reveal special. He has plans for you, your stomach aches with the thoughts of what it could be.

You hear his footsteps go back to the computers, you can hear his fingers clicking against the keyboard. Suddenly he speaks voice still disguised, “Hello there, I hope I have everyone’s attention.”

You shiver at the sound, knowing who he is talking to. “I have something to show you,” You hear him walking back to you, suddenly the darkness from the sack disappears. Blinding you for a moment. You look right at the computer screens, they are all showing videos of different rooms in the compound. Your friends watching you. “Look who I found,” His voice is cheery.

He must have hacked the system Tony had in place, broadcasting you on every monitor in the place, security cameras showing them. You lose your breath, wide eyes and still as a statue. On the top right screen is Bucky, he looks as frozen as you are. “I found her in a little town in Nebraska of all places.” You can see the shock on everyone’s face.

“She seems to have quite the life there, a good job working with kids. How sweet.” He starts pacing around the room.

“Now you see, I assume you would like her back, or at least alive. I will gladly return her to you.” He pauses, “But of course that means I want payment. Nothing to crazy of course, just a fair trade. How about an arc reactor, that seems like a great trade, an arc reactor for your friend’s life.”

You can see Tony and Steve talking on the left center screen. You can’t hear anything. No sound is coming from the speakers. You scan all of the screens, you can see Nat, Wanda, Vision, Steve, Sam, Thor, Tony, Bruce and Bucky. There are all there, staring at you, helpless.

“Now, the choice is yours. If you don’t comply I’ll just keep her as my pet.” He walks over to you, his fingers pet the side of your face. You try to squirm away, pulling his hand back it comes back at full force. You wince in pain, feeling the blood drip from your nose. You snap your head back to the screen, seeing the fear in Bucky’s eyes, in everyone’s eyes really.

“Anything you would like to say my dear?” His hand motions to the video camera on the main monitor.

You take a deep breath, holding back tears. “I’m sorry.” Its all you could manage to say before the tears overwhelm you and burst out of you.

“Are you sorry for making the world think you were dead?” He pauses, walking over to the chair, “Or this?”

He hold up the wedding dress for them to see, “You’re getting married soon.” He looks over to you, your arms and legs go numb, “You would have made a beautiful bride, don’t you think Bucky?”

Bucky is getting mad, you can tell. It looks like he is about to jump through the screen. You can also see pain in his eyes, pain that you would do this to him. You just sit there, crying.

Looking at him again, you force yourself to speak, “Bucky, I had to. Please Buck, I’m sorry. I still love-” You are cut off with another punch to the face. Loosing consciousness for a moment.

“God, shut up.” The man hisses, “Now if you want to make a trade, meet me here,” he hold up a map so you can’t see. “I’ll be waiting.”

Then the screens go black. The man walks out of the room without giving you another look.

You don’t know how long its been, since there is no windows or anyway to tell time. As time passes he comes back. He comes back just to hurt you, no words spoken. A few time he cut you, kicked you, and then the classic punch. It feels like weeks have passed, you know it hasn’t been nearly as long, couldn’t have been more than 2 days tops.

As you sit there alone, you try to distract yourself from the physical pain. The only way to do that is focus on the emotional pain. You think about what they are doing in your current life, Matt is probably worried sick with you missing, using Nina as comfort. No one is there for the kids unless they got volunteers. Your chest is tight, in pain thinking about the pain you are causing everyone.

Then your mind goes to the team, after 4 years, what were they saying or thinking. Bucky probably has moved on, forgot about you. This is just a painful reminder for him. Would they even want to save you? Why would they? You had abandoned them, made everyone believe you were dead. This is what you deserve.

As you come to terms with your current situation, accepting your fate to die here, the door opens. “Looks like they might not hate you after all.” He looks down at you, “Too bad they wont get to you.”

He walks back out as he slams the door, you can hear it lock on the other side. Again, your emotions get the best of you. You start crying uncontrollably. You start to scream “NOOOO!”

You scream and scream, but it doesn’t do anything. Your throat hurts forcing you to stop. You are underground, no one will hear you and you can’t hear them. You lean your head against the wall, tears still steaming down your cheeks. You find yourself losing energy to stay awake as you cry yourself to sleep.

You jerk awake, you hear noises outside the door. Voices sound like they are screaming, but you hear them as whispers. Pounding on what must be more doors outside of your’s.

You feel lighter, you start to feel hope build up inside you. You pull the rest of the energy you have left in you, “HELP!” You scream, “PLEASE! SOMEONE! HELP ME!” You continue, hoping maybe just maybe they can hear you.

The noises outside disappear, puling everything you have you just scream, not wasting it on words. Just the loudest scream you had in you. You wait a moment, listening to see if it worked. Nothing.

Grief overcomes you, you missed your chance. You throw your head back against the dirt wall, hoping you can just end it now. Thats when you hear it. Another whisper, it is louder than it was before. “Guys, I heard it coming from over here.”

It sounds a bit like Steve, you are certain its really Steve. “Steve! Please, I’m in here!” You try to scream but it comes out weak.

Suddenly you can hear bashing against the door. Part of you is happy, the other part worried, what will it be like seeing them again.

You hear the lock give as the door is bashed open. You really want to look at them as they walk through, but you can’t. Staring at the floor away from the door as you can hear them walk towards you. “(Y/N)..” It’s Steve, his voice is soft and gentle.

“I’m sorry.” again its all you can manage to say as your hair covers your face and tears starting to spill out of you.

Footsteps are walking towards you, You can see the boots in front of your face. They are Nat’s. She bends down, pulling your chin up. Looking you right in your eyes. She looks sad, well for her at least. “Listen, you are fine. We are so happy to see you.” She looks at you for a bit longer before she stands, focusing on the cuffs on your hands as Steve releases your ankles from the weights.

“Where is he?” You ask, looking over at Steve. The corner of his mouth turns into a smile as his head motions to the door.

There he is, Bucky emerging from the door way. He looks broken. Almost like he had when he was at his worst after escaping Hydra. He stares at you, waiting to see your creation towards him. You can tell that part of him wants to run to you, but the ball is in your court right now.

“Bucky..” You sound so relieved. You watch him as you stand up, weak from the time spent chained to the floor with the beatings, but you can still do it. You walk to him as fast as you can, as he starts moving forward to catch you as you began to stumble.

There you are in his arms, eyes meeting for the first time. Neither of you say a word, he just helps you get out of here.

They take you into the jet, everyone is sitting around as Bruce cleans your wounds. Luckily you aren’t hurt too bad, mild concussion with some scars and bruises. Tony gave you a hoodie to change into because your clothes were covered in blood.

Everyone is silent for a while except for Bruce telling you to hold still. You just stare at the floor. “So (Y/N), you need to tell me where to fly this thing.” Tony breaks the silence. “Listen, we all want you back, welcoming you with open arms. You had us worried sick about you, we thought we had lost you. But here you are and we want you back.”

You stay silent, trying to think even though you know what you want. You turn to Tony who continues talking, “However, where ever you had been for the past 4 years, you have obviously made a life there.” He looks at the engagement ring on your finger. “Its your choice.”

Scanning the room everyone is staring at you, everyone with smiles on their faces, looking like they actually mean that they want you to stay with them. Bucky though, he looks hurt. He is hurt that you would just run away, leaving everything the two of you had built.

Looking back, you two were perfect. 3 years together, as long as you and Matt. The late night conversations, you helping him cope, just lying in each other’s arms for hours, your play fights, the walks in the park you loved, and just being happy.

“Well first, this is at least what I want to know,” Steve speaks up, “Why did you leave?”

You swallow hard, preparing yourself, “I messed up.” You hold back the tears, even though you don’t think you have any left, “It was all my fault that those people died. I couldn’t live with looking at all of you everyday knowing that I was the one who messed up. I didn’t really think it through, I just ran. When I had the chance to think about it and see that I should have stayed it was too late”

You scan the room again to see everyone’s reactions. They look puzzled. “(Y/N),” Its Wanda’s turn to speak, “No one was in that building.”

“What? There was no way out. I heard their screams.” You are focused on her.

Steve stands, walking towards you. “After the first attack the city put underground tunnels under building just in case of another attack. They were just kept a secret until they were needed to prevent anything.” He kneels in front of you, “No one was in there.”

You interrupt him, “What about the screams?”

“That must have just been from those in other buildings that were not evacuated yet, there was only capacity for a building or two at a time. We got the ones that were in most danger out first.” Steve looks at you like he knows what has been eating you up inside the past 4 years.

You look him in the eyes, “Are you sure I’m welcomed back?”

“Of course” Natasha places a hand on your back, “But I think before we go we should do one last sweep of the place.”

Everyone nods as they stand, “(Y/N) you wait here, Bucky keep an eye on her.” Steve says as they exit the Jet.

It is clear what they are doing, they want the two of you to talk. You look over to him, his eyes already watching you as he walks over, taking a seat next to you. You go to speak but are cut off by him.

“Listen, the decision is yours. I don’t want to make it any harder for you. If you love him, go back to him.”

“I love him,” You start, Bucky looks away, “But I love Steve, I love Wanda, I love Tony, I love the entire team. But, over everyone, I love you the most Buck.”

His attention is back on you, holding your hand now, “I understand if you don’t love me anymore, but if you are willing to give me another chance, if you are willing to try rebuilding what we had, I want to. I want to be with you.”

Bucky stays quiet, “I’m sorry Bucky, every night I thought about you. Wished you were the one beside me. Truth is, I might have been happy but I felt like I had to force myself. Thinking I could never be happy without you, but I thought I could never have you again. I didn’t mean to hurt you, really. I just had to move on at some point. I love you Bucky”

The water works start again, and rather than speaking he pulls you into a hug. In this moment, everything is perfect, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you cause you to melt in his grasp. He hold you for a while, you feel weight lifting off your shoulders as you are pressed against his warm body.

“I love you too.” He whispers in your ears, scruff brushing against them making you giggle. You pull away to look at him, both you smiling knowing that you are back.

You bite your lip, knowing what you have to do, “You do know, I have to go back there though.”

Bucky nodding in agreement.

“I have to say goodbye, I need to give them all closure and I think someone deserves an apology.” You look down as you play with your engagement ring, “I think he needs this back too.”

Foot steps start making their way up the ramp of the jet, the entire team coming back on board. Its clear they are waiting your response. You look up at them, Tony sits in the pilot’s chair starting up the engine.

“I have to go back.” You announce still playing with your ring, “I have to say goodbye, they all deserve at least that much. I have some explaining to do, I don’t want to do it but he deserves better.”

As Tony gets the jet ready you give him the address so he can at least see where to fly. “Okay, I think this will take more than a few hours, maybe more than a day considering you do have that rock on your finger.” Tony announces while taking off, “So Nat if you could find us a hotel that would be great. (Y/N) if you have any suggestions, also where is somewhere to land this thing?”

You hesitate, realizing what you are about to do, “Well I would love to invite you guys to stay at my place but I don’t think I’ll really be welcomed there” You wanted this to be a joke but it just broke you inside. You really did not want to hurt Matt, you do love him but this is just a horrible situation. “There is really only one hotel, its pretty small but its nice. You can land on the community center fields. You’ll just have to get approval from the mayor, I believe he is the next in line for that.”

Bruce shoots you a confused look, “Next in line? Why don’t we just go to whoever is first.” He suggests.

“You see, being the youth program coordinator, I basically run the community center so I would be the person who could give you permission but seeing as I am not there, I can’t make sure the fields are cleared and give permission. If someone wants to give me their phone I can give you his number so you can speak with him.

Now everyone is looking at you in amazement and confusion. “Okay, I’ll ask,” Nat taking the floor, “First, how did you get that job with no qualification at all. Second, why do you know the mayors phone number by heart?”

Fair enough, you thought to yourself. Thinking you would have to explain as they dug around later anyways. “Well first, it is really easy to lie on a resume and make it sound legit. Since the community center belongs to the citizens there my interview was done by a group of volunteers who really didn’t want to waste their time calling references. Second, since that was my job I had to get permission and permits and stuff like that for events so I called him a lot. Plus we are pretty good friends.”

That didn’t help much with the confusion as you can tell. Tony hand you his phone as you type in the number and hand it back to him, thinking this wasn’t the time to ask to land the Avenger’s jet on the property while you are currently a missing person and all.

For the rest of the flight the team asks more questions about your new life. You don’y mind filling them in, just wish that it could maybe wait. Every time you talk about it you remember all the good times, the people, everything that you are choosing to leave and the pain you are about to cause. Mostly you worry about Matt, this wedding is almost a week away and you are going to crush his heart. You are breaking down in the inside, nerves going crazy, stomach hurting and pressure in your head.

“Looks like people are pretty excited for the Avengers,” Tony interrupts, seeing the crowd of people waiting there for you all.

As you land, you start to feel sick. You can’t handle this. Wanda notices your distress, walking over and grabbing your hand before the door opens. She can tell you need to be comforted, someone for support and how that person cannot be Bucky right now.

The ramp starts to lower, everyone else stepping out before you attempt. The mayor it there to greet them along with some other important people. You can hear them speak, “So please tell me, why are the Avengers making a surprise visit to our little town.”

Your stomach drops, you hand on to Wanda as you start walking. No one speaks before you emerge from the Jet, arm and arm with Wanda. Bucky stays on the jet, not wanting to leave. Scanning the crowd, you spot Matt who is running to you, over joyed to see you safe.

He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight. You let go of Wanda and hug him back. In the background you hear the kids cheering your name with the sound of their feet running. Suddenly you were in the middle of a giant group hug.

You can’t help but laugh, looking around to see all the smiling faces. You look over to the team standing next to you, they have smiles too, they aren’t genuine because they know what is gong to happen. You see Bucky peering out from the jet.

“Wow I am so happy to see all of you!” You say to the kids, “Did you guys want to meet the friends I brought with me?”

Instantly the kids dispersed to the different Avengers, trying to talk to them and get attention. You laugh seeing how thrown back everyone is at how excited and uncontrolled the children are seeing their heroes.

“I’m so glad you are okay babe,” Matt pulls you back closer to him, “Are you okay? Where have you been? And how did the Avengers get involved?” There is concern in his eyes, wanting to make sure you are okay. Before you can answer his lips are pressed to yours. Knowing that this will be your last you allow it, holding the back of his neck as he kisses you deeply. He finally pulls away, you can feel the team’s eyes on you.

“Listen, we can talk about that in private. Do you want to run inside real quick and talk?” Your voice is low, Matt knows it is serious.

Taking his hand the two of you sneak into the community center.

“Tell me what happened? Please, who’s ass do I have to kick.” He is serious. Not making this any easier for you.

You refuse to meet his gaze, not wanting to see his face as you hurt him. “I lied to you.” He pauses, waiting for you to continue, “I didn’t leave California for the quiet town life. I left New York to escape my life. My last name is not Henderson. I am (Y/full/N)’

Matt cuts you off, raising his voice before you can continue, “Wait (Y/full/N), as in the Avenger that was presumed dead years ago.” You just nod, avoiding his gaze, “Are you serious right now?”

Biting your lip you take a deep breath before continuing, “I didn’t mean to lie or hurt you. I got scared and ran away. Came here, made a life for myself without violence.” He is standing across the room, pacing with his hands on his head trying to stay calm.

“So what you got cold feet and ran back to them?” His voice was angry now.

“No! Someone did take me.” You correct him, “This guy somehow knew who I was and wanted to use me as bait. Thinking that if he had me he could get something from them. They saved me Matt.”

His pacing has stopped, “Then what does this mean?” His voice calmer now, “Now that they know you are alive, will they leave you alone?”

Your heart beat is surprisingly calm right now, your palms are sweaty and you can feel pain in your chest knowing what is about to happen. “I’m sorry,” HIs eyes dart to meet yours, “I..I’m going back with them. I have to.”

“Are they forcing you? They can’t do that (Y/N)!” His voice is angry again, you can see veins bulging in his neck.

“No Matt, It’s not like that.” You take a deep breath to prepare yourself, “I love you, I really do. I don’t want to do this to you. This is something I have to do. They are not forcing me but I have to go back with them. They, well they are my family.”

Tears start again, they were genuine though, “What about me? Aren’t I your family? What about your life here?” His breathing is heavy, his face red with anger.

He notices you are now crying, stopping immediately and calming himself down. Seeing that this is hard on you as well. Once is settles down he comes to sit next to you.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to yell.” He places a hand on your back, “I just love you so much. I don’t want to lose you. Even if you aren’t who you say you are, you are still the girl I fell in love with.”

His words sting, hitting you deep in your core. “I wish I didn’t have to hurt you by doing this. I am truly sorry. I hope you forgive me, that you can move on and find someone way better than me.”

You take off your ring, placing it in his hand. Standing up, you don’t have feeling in your legs. Still able to move them, they just feel like they have a mind of their own. Before you leave, you place a kiss on his forehead like he had done to you all those mornings. Walking away you stop at the door, “I love you.” you say one last time as you walk out.

Outside, you wipe the tears from your face. Composing yourself for everyone else’s sake. Sam is the first to see you walking back, nudging Nat so she can excuse herself from the conversations.

“Hey,” She says softly once she reaches you, “I’m guessing that didn’t go to well”

She can see how red your eyes are as she helps fix you up, bowing on your face to dry it off. Once you were ready, she walks with you.

In your head you think this can’t go any worse than how it went with Matt. Mentally preparing yourself as you stand between Nat and Tony, with the rest of the Avengers.

A little hand pops up, you gesture for the child to speak, “Ms. (Y/N), how do you know the Avengers?”

You were hoping to explain this to just the adults, not the children but here you are. “Well, you see... I used to be an Avenger.” You start to explain. Seeing all the parents and your friends turn to each other in shock. You bend down to the kids who are now actively listening to you, “Before I moved here I was an Avenger, but now they need me to go back. They need me to help them fight the bad guys.”

All the children are looking at you with amazement. Everyone actively listening as well, hoping you can put it in a way both children and adults can understand without causing any issues, “I really don’t want to leave you guys. I love all of you, it’s just the Avengers are still my family, just like you, but it is time for me to go back with them.”

You look around at all the eyes focused on you, making you uneasy. You try to stay focused on the kids, they have a lot less judgement in their eyes, “This is very hard for me, I would love to stay here with all of you. It’s just this isn’t my place, I’m meant to be an Avenger. Hopefully none of you are mad or disappointed that I am leaving, I’m heartbroken I have to do this. I hope we can still be friends, maybe I can come visit.” You turn to your team, “Maybe we can all visit.”

The kids start to cheer, thinking that the Avengers visiting can be a normal occurrence. You finish up, “Now I think its getting late, maybe tomorrow, if its okay with your parents, you guys can hangout and play some games with the real Avengers?”

The excitement from the kids is overwhelming. You stand back up to be with your team. Scanning the crowd no one looks to angry with you. Once everyone leaves, you notice one person in the crowd waiting to talk to you. Nina.

Thankfully she isn’t mad, just a little annoyed you did not tell her earlier. She thought you were pretty bad ass. Thankfully she also agreed to get your stuff from your house, well old house. That way you can sleep in your clothes and not in Tony’s old hoodie.

Back at the hotel everyone had a roommate, realizing you didn’t have a home to go back to tonight you made sure they got enough for you. Seeing everyone pair off, Steve and Sam, Tony and Bruce, Thor and Vision, Wanda and Nat, and that only left you and Bucky. At first you weren’t sure if this is a good idea but the two of you do need some time alone.

You expect it to be awkward at first, like you would have to start from the beginning. To your surprise it is natural, yeah it isn’t exactly like you left it which is understandable. But there is no awkward tension, not knowing how to act, you two are comfortable with one another. Talking and catching up, not getting into too much with Matt, trying not to upset him. Your conversation got deep though, just like it had before, knowing what is going on in each other’s heads.

That night, as you lie in bed you feel relieved. You don’t have to put on this act of being happy. You can truly be happy now. You two stay on opposite sides of the bed, you did just break off an engagement after all. However, you could still feel his presence and that is all you need.

In the morning, you wake up still on your side of the bed. However there is a Bucky spooning you from behind, arm draped over your side. Looks like someone missed you more than you thought, not being able to keep away for a single night. You could stay like this forever if it were up to you.

This moment is brought to a screeching halt as someone knocks on your door. You quickly jump out of bed to answer the door. You slowly open the door, expecting Steve or someone from the team.

You are wrong, your friend Nina pushes her way in carrying what you think is breakfast from the smell of it. “I am not letting you go without having one last meal with me.” She states making her way into her room. Instantly pausing realizing that you are not alone. “Oh, would you like to explain?” She turns to you, a bit embarrassed but needing to know more.

You just give her a big grin making sure she isn’t mad, she wouldn’t be angry at the situation, just the fact you didn’t mention any of this to her. “It’s not what you think!”

“Oh girl, then talk.” Without hesitation she continues to the small table in the room, taking out the food and taking a seat. Poor Bucky is still half asleep in bed. You just shake your head as you join her, grabbing your take out box and sitting at the end of the bed.

Bucky sighs and walks out of the room, most likely to Sam and Steve’s. Nina mouthes the word ‘wow’ after Bucky leaves the room, who of course was shirtless when she first came in.

“Okay, I completely understand now. Damn girl, he is such an amazing step up from Matt.” You smack her arm playfully, “Does he have any single friends? Oh! How about Captain America? Is he seeing anyone?”

“He isn’t, but you are on your own there. That man is a mystery when it comes to dating.” You know she is going to try still. Nothing you could do would stop her.

The two of you eat breakfast as you fill her in on the rest of the details, now having to explain the insanely hot and rugged man in your bed.

As you guys talk, you know you are going to miss her the most. You had never had a friendship so effortlessly, not even with Nat and Wanda, you guys were best friends from the start.

The sun was starting to set again. You had an eventful last day, Sam and Tony took some kids flying, you organized sports games where kids could partner with their favorites, group activities, photo opportunities and a big picnic at the end.

Once everything is clean, you get ready to go. You were the last one off the jet yesterday and today you are the last one on. Bucky is waiting for you by the ramp as you say goodbye to Nina one last time.

“You can visit whenever you want!” You insist,

“I’ll take you up on that, please don’t forget about me! I expect constant texts and updates with Mr. Muscles over there” She gestures to Bucky. You force out a laugh, she knows something is bothering you and exactly what it is, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he is okay. I’ll talk with him, he is just hurt right now. He will get over this and everything. I promise.”

Nina pulls you into a hug, “Thank you, I love you.” you whisper into here ear.

“Come on, we are loosing daylight here!” Tony screams from the jet.

Pushing her away, you smile and run to Bucky. Taking his hand as you walk into the jet. The two of you sit together, you instantly rest your head on his shoulder. Thinking that this is right. This is how it should be. You might actually deserve to have this happiness back.

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