#look I know this ended really badly and it's kinda triggering going back to this pairing

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 4

content warning: mentions of sexual coercion (may be triggering to some so I marked the area where I talk about this subject with 🎧, the story will still make sense if you have to skip it), the word assault is used once in regards to Miguel’s situation at the party, fluff to make up for the last part, Miguel’s biological father is Tyler Stone here but he IS NOT comic book Miguel physically by ANY MEANS 😭, the progression might be a little fast?? I hope not though I want them to kith 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽, a little suggestive at one part but nothing serious

word count: 2.4k (at this point y'all...you must know that I like telling stories because wtf), kinda proofread

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who set his alarm for 8 am the next morning. It rings long enough for his roommate to get up and shove him in his side.

“Shit. Sorry,” Miguel groans. His head is splitting and he feels like he’s been run over.

“Coming in at ass o’clock in the morning and letting your alarm ring past 12 rings? What happened to my roomie?” Peter muses, scratching is stomach. His own eyes are tired as he blinks at Miguel’s body slumped against the bed.

“A party that I should’ve never gone to,” Miguel says, bringing the ends of his palms to his eyes and breathing deep. “Nothing went how I wanted it to.”

“It looks to me that you got everything you wanted,” Peter yawned, going to grab a water from the mini fridge. He handed it to Miguel who thanked him and emptied the whole thing in one go.

“I left a girl that I really liked alone there,” Miguel replies, voice broken. “Was stuck in a room with a bunch of girls I didn’t even know. I was gone way too long and she left.”

“Shit, O’Hara,” Peter said, eyebrows raised. “Did they do anything to you?”

“No. After they realized I wasn’t trying to do anything, they just tried to bring the party upstairs. I didn’t get back downstairs until two hours later.”

“Did you reach out to your girl, at least?”

Miguel reached for his phone, “She texted me when she left and I texted back later.”

He looked at his phone, going to your messages. “And still no reply.”

“Can you blame her?” Peter asked, getting back in his own bed. “If I left my girlfriend anywhere while we’re out, she would literally have my head on a wall.”

Miguel wanted to cry. How could he fuck up something so badly?

He sighed as he brought his knees up, resting his arms on his knees. He put his head on his arms, trying to think.

“What should I do? I really like her,” he asks, voice watery.

“Not to be that guy, but there’s no time like the present,” Peter says. “Tell her the truth. Explain things to her. If you’re feeling that awful, do something for her.”

Miguel sniffles and groans out, deciding to get up.

“You’re right,” he says. “No time like the present.”

GymRat!Miguel who grabs a light breakfast and gets straight to work. He thanks the universe that his mom packed a bunch of aimless art supplies in one of his bins. He gets to crafting, putting his heart into everything. He’s freshening up, spraying on cologne, bringing out the slacks that make his ass look great, tightening his belt, fixing his hair. He tightens up so well that even Peter whistles when he walks out of the bathroom. He grabs his craft and goes off campus to a store, buying a few snacks, a circus animal cookie plush, and a gatorade in case you happened to be a little hungover too. He even goes the extra mile and finds a cute apology card. If anything, he hope you could get a laugh out if it.

GymRat!Miguel who makes his way to your dorm building, some guy letting him in after he saw him lingering around the door like a kicked puppy. He thanks him profusely and runs up the stairs to your door. He stands outside in the hallway for a minute and catches his breath, trying to still his beating heart. He gives a light knock, hoping you were there.

The door opens, revealing another girl who looks Miguel up and down with a scowl. Her hand is on her hip and her bonnet moves with her head as she stares Miguel down.

Miguel stutters, asking if you were there.

“Maybe, depending on what you’re about to say next,” she says.

“Look, can you tell her that I’m deeply sorry. I should have never left her alone last night. She didn’t deserve that. I apologize for even accepting the invitation to go. I should have known better. Nothing was worth me staying upstairs that long. Can I just- please, let me just talk to her,” Miguel pleads, desperate.

Your roommate just goes “hmph” under her breath and closes the door in his face.

Miguel’s arms drop and he gapes at the door like a fish. He’s willing to stand here until you have to come out, but isn’t sure what to do.

Just when he considers knocking again, the door swings open again and you’re standing there in a giant t-shirt and pajama pants with pokeman balls printed on them. A giant blanket is wrapped around your body.

You look at him, eyes cautious, “Jess said you were groveling. I’ll give you 5 minutes of my precious time. Something you clearly know how to waste.”

You sounded hurt and Miguel felt like dying.

He takes a deep breath calls out your name.

“I am so sorry for leaving you the other night. It was extremely fucked up, especially when I made sure that you could come. Anything could have happened to you and it was careless of me to not see that. I promise you my mom raised me better,” he says, looking down at your face.

You just crossed your arms and scrunched your mouth up. Even now, Miguel was still infatuated with you.

“I’m glad that you understand how fucked up that was. I was worried about you. I waited. For hours. I didn’t know anyone there and it was nerve wracking,” you say, words coming out like ice.

“I know and I apologize. Truly. Please just,” Miguel hands you his gifts. A gift bag full of the goodies he bought and an origami flower bouquet with a few lilies of the valley sprinkled throughout. A flower for renewal. A flower that he hopes speaks to you. “Please accept this and my honest apology.”

You look down at the flowers, taken aback. “Did you make these?” you ask, a little awed.

Miguel rubs one of his wrists, completely nervous, “Yes, I did. The lilies are real, though.”

“Well, obviously, Miguel,” you laugh softly at him. You start to go through the bag, heart warming at his initial gift.

“If you’ll accept my apology, I really would like to try taking you out. Again,” he says, shifting his weight to another leg.

“Wasn’t aware that last night was a date but slow down, tiger. I didn’t say I would forgive you yet.”

“Right!”

You took out the cookie plushie, cursing in your head about how cute it was. He really did know you. You kept going, heart melting the further in the bag you got. You finally got to the card, taking it out of the envelope.

You laugh at the cute seal, “You were an ‘ice hole.’”

Miguel heart sings at your laugh, happy that you were finding joy in this somehow.

You start to read the card, eyes wandering the page. His heart is hammering. Not only did he write his heart out, he dropped his confession of love like for you at the end. Whether or not you accepted it would make or break the rest of Miguel’s week.

Your eyes slowly drifted and you started to blink faster.

“Our time together has been short, but I think of you day and night. I dream about you. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your touch. It sounds sudden and cheesy but none of these parts of you escape my mind. I’m not sure what it felt like for you, but as soon as I was lucky enough to be graced with you in my lab group, I was stuck. To me, you lit up the room. I want to continue to explore that light, if you are willing to have me. May you please forgive me and consider going out with me?”

“If this feels like too much, I completely understand and I’ll-”

“Shut up,” you say, eyes teary. “Do you really mean this, Miguel?”

He stares at you, itching to reach out and hug you, “Every word.”

You wipe at your cheeks, a little overwhelmed. “Come here, you big goof.”

Miguel practically teleports the short distance, wrapping his arms around you. You sniffle in his chest, warmed up in his arms.

“I forgive you,” you say, words muffled into his shirt. “Just don’t ever do that shit again.”

He brings his hand to his head in a salute, “I won’t. Scout’s honor.”

“Of course you were a Boy Scout,” you say, giggling as you look up at him. He smelled really good and looked delectable. If you were weaker, you would have answered the door instead of Jess and filled the hallway with obscenities.

🎧

“Tell me though,” you say, trying to ground yourself. “What does one do when he leaves me for two hours?”

Miguel felt a groan in his chest, “Those girls were trying to do some weird harem thing. I was stuck in a room telling them no, trying to drink my way out of there. They kept trying to add more people to the mix, thinking I would go along with it. I didn’t want a case on my hands so it took me a while to get out of there without force.”

You went rigid in his arms, “Oh my god, Miguel!That’s assault.”

“Nothing crazy happened. I made sure that none of them got handsy.”

You bring your hand to his face, “That’s great, but there was still alcohol involved, which makes that coercion. Did you tell anyone about this?”

“Just my roommate, Peter. He sounded a little worried, but we were more focused on getting me to this point with you.”

You remove yourself from his arms and step back into your dorm.

“Stay right here. The council needs to discuss and Jess is on the Student Association,” you say, leaving a crack in the door.

GymRat!Miguel who is sat on the floor of your dorm room and explained the implications of what he went through. Jess ensures him that she’ll get somebody on the case despite Miguel saying that he was ok. You both ensure him that nothing will happen on his end and that this should stop those girls from doing this to anyone else in the future. Miguel is on board with that and you give him one more tight hug.

“Although you didn’t have to, I wish you would have told me. I would have came barging through those doors,” you say, a frown on your face.

“Really, it’s fine. I feel a little silly going along with the whole ordeal anyway.”

“None of that is your fault though, Miguel. You didn’t know what they were going to do or what they were trying to do,” you say, voice firm.

Miguel was enamored by your passion, “Thank you for saying that. If it helps, my father is Tyler Stone.”

Jess turns her body completely to you both on the floor, mouth dropping in shock, “Oh yeah, that entire organization is getting shut down.”

🎧

GymRat!Miguel who walks you out of your dorm, hand in hand with you. You two agreed on a nice coffee date. Something light after so much turmoil. You looked adorable, running around the room frantic and getting all dolled up just for him. He’s happy that he was able to work things out.

GymRat!Miguel who sits across from you, rubbing your hand with his thumb as you both sip your drinks. He begs for bites of your chocolate cake and you roll your eyes and feed it to him, a little shy at the PDA.

GymRat!Miguel who explains his family tree to you. You're still shocked at the Tyler Stone name drop. You're empathetic to his situation, agreeing with how tough it was to find out someone you knew for so long wasn't your actual father. He assures you that he's settled with the feelings for now, just happy to still have a connection with both of his dads and his mom. Plus, the money Tyler sends him was not anything to be sad over.

GymRat!Miguel who learns of your dating history. You've had a boyfriend and few meaningless dates. As you describe how he treated you, it makes sense that you were ready to completely block Miguel out of your life. Who stands up their prom date that they did a promposal for?

GymRat!Miguel who takes you shopping at the bookstore. Letting you get just about anything. Some romance books? Grab it. A plushie? Of course. A Beyoncé vinyl? No need to even ask. He was happy following you around the store as you squealed over certain things. Your eyes twinkled as you explained a series about a deaf girl falling in love and her boyfriend learning sign language to communicate with her. Miguel responds accordingly, humming at whatever you say.

GymRat!Miguel who feels crazy watching you eat a strawberry ring pop that he got from candy machine. You placed it on your left ring finger and he watched as your lips kept puckering around the crown of the candy diamond, taking it to the hilt and pushing it back out. Your tongue would come out occasionally as you slid the candy down it.

"Is it good?" he asks, mind in the gutter.

"Mm hm," you say, a smile on your face, ring pop popping from your mouth.

Lord help Miguel.

GymRat!Miguel who opens his car door for you. He also reaches across and buckles your seatbelt for you, body close to yours.

GymRat!Miguel who walks you to your dorm room, hand still in yours. You both linger there for a moment, taking in each other's space. You peer up at Miguel with those Bambi eyes again.

"I had a really great time with you Miguel," you say, holding your new bag to your chest. "I'm glad you came here this morning."

"I'm glad too," Miguel says looking at you, hearts in his eyes.

You bite your lip, rocking on your feet before you decide to do something.

You reach up on your tip toes and kiss Miguel on his cheek.

He stares at you, shocked. He stares at you a little longer, then begins to lean down. You get excited, hoping that he'll do what you were scared to do.

Jess swings the door open, "Aht aht! Come on inside, girl."

Miguel stands straight, face in flames.

"Good night, Miguel," you say, cheeks feeling hot.

"Good night," Miguel watches as Jess smirks at him before she closes the door.

GymRat!Miguel who floats all the way back to his dorm. Peter grins and tussles with him in excitement after taking in Miguel's appearance. He texts Gabriel while he gets ready for bed:

"When have I ever lost?"

"I kicked your ass in Mario Party last week but go off Ig"

"🖕🏽"

"🫰🏽"

Miguel went to sleep once more, having thoughts of you.

dividers by: @yeribbon 🩵

a/n: I’m almost certain that this is the LAST time something this serious happens in this series. It will be pretty fluffy for a while...I think 🫣

As always, thank you for reading! Leave a like and a reblog. Please comment! I love to hear what you guys have to say 🥺 🩵

taglist: @ghost-lantern @miguelhugger2099 @slushycoookie @emelie-s-h @lake-lili @obsessed-with-miguels-ass @scaleniusrm @superiorspiderass @lexluvswriting @flordelalunas @froggygal @vmpz8sauceee @famouscattale @nixinluv02 @jada-of-arcadia @spideykid22 @what-the-jams @julia4today @tojishugetiddies @samjinxx @sleeklyalisha @the-pan-liquid @prongs-lover @kikaaauu @urlocallocachica @wanderlustingcastaway @peachey-pie @ch3rry-bl1ss @girl-of-multi-fandoms @love-kha1 @manlikemilesmyguy @sillysillygoofygoose @monticellohoe @kodzuminx @lauraolar14 @bruhhvv @m4dyy @farrowroyale @ce3stvu @ohara-whore

[schleiereule-94]

Pool party

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader, omc x f!Reader

Author's note: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS, this one is really dark! This is not for everyone, so please DO NOT ENGAGE if you are triggered by non-con content! This is fiction and reading or writing dark fics does not mean that I (or you) condone this type of behaviour. SA is a terrible crime and if you or someone you know has suffered this please make sure you get the help you need. That said, the ones who enjoy such content, I hope you like the story.

Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!

SMUT MINORS DNI, NON-CON, porn with enough plot, penetrative sex, unprotected p in v, manipulation, coercion, reader is chained (non-con), overstimulation, choking/breath play, degradation, cursing, rough sex, oral sex (m receiving), kinda weird Stockholm syndrome, very dark Joel, perv Joel, voyeurism, power imbalance (Joel has a gun), age gap (unspecified, but reader is an adult), Joel slaps you in the face once, Joel is playing sick games you should not be enjoying

Summary: You never really intended to seduce Jesse, you just wanted to have some fun playing around with him. After a night out you end up in your neighbours pool. When said neighbour, Mr. Miller, finds you there he decides to get Jesse what he craves so badly. In the end he really likes to watch and he can have you afterwards.

PS: Yes I will go to hell for this.

The cool water hugs your hips as you lean back onto the pool deck and look up to the moon. You smile. You are having a great time. Jesse surfaces next to you and shakes the water out of his curls. He looks at your profile, eyes trailing down to your breasts quickly, before he shily glances up at your face with puppy eyes. Your smile turned into a smirk. 

You had this guy completely under your spell, and it had been so easy! A wave and a wink from your garden when he drove past on his bike, a few glances of your cleavage, a short skirt riding up when bending over to water the plants and he melted like butter in the sun. You knew he’s had a crush on you since high school, so that probably helped. Back then you had never wanted anything from him, even though you had noticed his longing glances following you and your girlfriends down the school hallway some days. You were a good girl then and while he took up work you went to university and away from your hometown after you were both done with school. You hadn’t thought about him not even once, not until you came back here two weeks ago after finishing your studies. You had a few months to spend in your southern childhood village before you would move yet to another city for your new job, and while you loved the hot summer weather and spending some time with your parents, it was also a bit boring. You reconnected with some old girlfriends and went to the local bar the first week, but both were in relationships, one pregnant and the other with a one year old toddler, and they didn’t really have time for you. You missed the busy city much faster than you thought you would. Maybe also the anonymity it provided, so you could go on your little adventures… Honestly, it was very boring here and there was a clear lack of interesting men. So, when you saw Jesse riding by you just wanted to have some fun. 

Not that you planned to seduce him really, he was just so easy to fluster, and you had to admit it was an amusing game, keeping him waiting and dreaming about you. Did that make you a bad person? Hmm maybe a bit. But the temptation was just too great, who could blame you? You didn’t dislike Jesse. He really tried to be nice. He was very timid, had always been. Better with his hands than his words. Cute, but a bit boring. Just like your hometown. Apparently not much had changed in the few years you had been away. He was still a quiet, polite fellow, working as an electrician. Tall, slim figure. Cute brown curls. And longing puppy eyes. 

You had asked him for a coffee catch-up, where he appeared in his nicest shirt and with flowers, obviously wildly misinterpreting the situation. But you didn’t say anything. You didn’t promise him anything either. You had a nice if uneventful afternoon. He suggested lunch the next day, which you accepted as you had nothing better to do. He had hung at your lips the whole time and looked quite disappointed when you started chatting to and finally invited the couple at the next table to join you, who you realized were old friends from your basketball team. 

Out of pity, you asked if you could take him to the pub two days later, to make up for it. After a few drinks you felt like dancing, but he resisted, too shy to follow you on the small dancefloor, even though his eyes were clearly fascinated by your skin-tight outfit that you might have chosen just to drive him crazy. You moved towards him, put your hands on his knees to convince him to stand up. His gaze got caught in your cleavage, but he shook his head. “Let’s get out of here”. You shrugged, a bit unnerved, but followed him out. He’s walk was funny and you realized he was trying to hide a boner. Oh my, he must be so desperate you thought to yourself, hiding a laugh. 

You could have been honest and tell him not to put his hopes up, but you had too much fun riling him up. Mostly because it was just so easy. Stepping out of the pub you took his arm, pressing your boobs into his side and smiling up at him. “Where are we going now?” You had walked to the pub, no need for a car in this town. It was shortly after midnight, but the heat of the day still hung heavyly over the streets. You stepped out of your pumps to walk barefoot down the empty road, leaving the pub lights behind you. “We could go to mine” Jesse suggested hopefully. Nah, not happening you thought. But you didn’t want to go home just yet either. Looking down the road ahead you got an idea. “Hey, let’s do something crazy” You looked up into Jesse’s wary face. “What about we go swimming?” you suggested pointing at the house ahead, the one just before your own home on the street. 

Your neighbour, Joel Miller, had a big pool you always had been jealous of. He let you use it as a child when you were playing with his daughter, Sarah, a few years your minor. But Sarah had headed off to university as well by now. You had greeted her father just yesterday when he was passing by your garden with his truck. He had barley acknowledged you, only sparing you a short nod. 

You remember liking him, even developing a crush on him during your teenage years. He was good looking, strong arms, tanned and bulky from his work as a builder. You used to spy on him through a hole in the hedge when he was doing works on the house or in his garden. For years you had wanted to get into his pants, but didn’t know how to approach him. He never looked at you, never really saw you. So you had to make due with some photos you took secretly from your hideout in the hedge. In your favourite you captured Joel showing off his abs when wiping sweat from his forehead using the hem of his shirt. He always seemed mysterious to you, in a fucked up, dangerous way. Like fire that you tried to catch even though you knew it would burn you badly. You looked at the photos, touching yourself, imagining his big calloused fingers in you as you came with his name on your lips.

But by all your fascination for him, he was also old, grumpy and choleric. Sometimes you overheard him shouting at Sarah or some people on the phone. When he was angry, he was like a bear gone wild: loud, destructive, violent. He was terrifying and normally you would not risk provoking his rage for any reason. But today, after a few drinks and being bored out of your mind, you were ready to take the risk of facing him, just to make Jesse a bit more uncomfortable. Also, you figured, at this time the old man probably laid in bed already. All the lights were off in the house as far as you could see. 

Jesse looked undecided. “Have you asked Mr. Miller if it’s ok to use his pool?” “Of course not, silly. He doesn’t have to know. Look all the lights are out. Come on, it will be fun! Are you not hot?” Jesse looked at you as you fanned yourself some air into the face with your hands, and you could almost hear his thoughts. Getting you into the pool meant you would be taking some clothes off… “But what if he catches us? He doesn’t seem to be a very nice person.” He still looked a bit concerned. “Ah come on, he will not notice! We just need to be a little quiet. Don’t be a coward”. You had stopped at the hedge of Mr. Millers garden and glanced around the corner. No lights, no sign of Joel either. To get to the pool you would have to sneak around the house. You grinned at Jesse and started to walk along the shadow of the tall hedge surrounding the property. Jesse sighed but followed you, head crouched down. 

On the other side of the house the pool lay still under the pale moon light. Two sunchairs were set up on the wooden deck, and all was safely surrounded by the thick hedge. Nobody would see or hear you from the street. Perfect. You stepped onto the planks and held your toe into the water. Heavenly. You beckoned to Jesse and turned your back towards him holding your hair up. You heard him gulp before he started undoing the zipper of your dress with shaky hands, from your neck all the way down to your lower back. You rolled your eyes at his obvious nerves. Has he never seen a woman naked before? You wrung yourself out of the dress and let it fall onto the floor. You wore a matching set of almost transparent black lingerie. Gracefully you stepped onto the edge of the pool, sat down and slowly lowered yourself into the water. You sighed when the coolness touched your skin. You had been sweating so much in the pub, and this was just perfect. You turned around and let your hair sink into the water, creating a perfect crown around your face. Jesse was still standing on the deck looking at you with wide eyes, as if you were a ghost. “Come on in. It’s heavenly” you said, your voice hushed, while crossing the pool in two short strokes. 

And here you were now. Jesse hastily got rid of his shirt and pants, almost falling into the water, still trying to hide his erection. Poor guy must have had half his blood in his dick for most of the evening now. You chuckled and finally looked at him as he settled next to you. 

“When was the last time you fucked at girl?” you ask him in the sweetest voice you could muster. “Eh I.. excuse me, what?” Jesse’s head goes from almost pale to red in under 3 seconds. “When have you last had a good fuck? You know, sex? Getting laid?”, you enquire without mercy. Jesse looks like he wants to drown himself. “Why are you asking this?” “Dude, you’ve been sporting a huge hard on basically the whole night and I have not even touched as much as your shoulders” you laugh. He looks away from you. “S’not how you think.” “Is it not?” You cocked your brows up. He takes a deep breath, and his puppy eyes are back on when he faces you again. “I just, I think, you…” another deep breath. “You are really beautiful.” It’s quiet between you for a short 2 seconds. Then you can’t hold back any longer. You snort from loud laughter. “Be quiet” Jesse nervously glances over to the house. His face looks pained when you see him clearly again through your tears of laughter. You feel a slight jolt of guilt but ignore it quickly. You take his hand. “I’m sorry Jesse. But, you are just not my type.” you say in a calmer voice, trying to bite back the grin. “But then why go out with me?” He sounds hurt and takes his hand away from under yours. You shrug. “Just having some fun. S’that not allowed nowadays?” “You are cruel” he says bitterly, pushing himself off the side into the water. “I’m out of here.” “Oh come on Jesse, grow up.” You go after him and catch him just when he tries to climb out onto the deck. You wrap your arms around his hip to pull him back down into the water. He turns around and you cage him against the poolside. He tries to push you away, but you are stronger holding onto the edge of the deck. “I’m done with your games.” He whines. You brush your legs against him and smile into his face. You lean in towards his ear. “Come on, we both know that you cannot resist me”. He blankly stares into your face as you reach down under water to grab the bulge in his boxers. “See?” You squeeze him lightly and he starts panting. You lean in as if for a kiss, but when he closes his eyes you make an escape by heaving yourself up onto the deck. Two fresh towels are spread over the sunchairs, and you quickly grab one to wrap yourself up. Jesse calls your name. You turn around with a wicked smile. He looks wrecked, pleading. You shake your head no, not happening. Jesse looks like he is going to protest but the words die in his throat as he looks at something over your shoulders. 

You turn your head and the blood in your veins freezes: Mr Miller stands behind you dressed in a bathrobe, anger radiating from his stern face. A cigarette hangs in the corner of his mouth and in his right hand he holds a pistol pointed at your head.

“Hi Mr Miller” you squeak while the older man slowly advances towards you, eyeing you up and down. “It’s me, your David’s daughter” you try to smile at him and extend your hand, hoping he would put away the gun. “Mhh” he grunts, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and ignoring your peace offering. “I can see that. And who is that?” He gestures to the pool with his head. “Just a friend.” you respond. “And what exactly are you doing here in MY garden, in MY pool?” His voice is low, dangerous and piercing, his eyes ice cold. You try to control your breathing. “Nothing, sorry sir, we just came to cool down after dancing. I should have asked, so sorry” you mumble quickly. You do not like Joel’s gaze on you. Even though you are still covered in a towel, his towel, you feel his eyes burning holes in it. “We’ll leave instantly, so sorry to bother, I’ll bring a cake later tomorrow, ok?” You try to remedy the situation, while Jesse seems to have lost both his voice and ability to move. Joel looks at him. “Out of the water.” he orders. Jesse doesn’t move. You scream a silent come on man! at him with your eyes. But he just squirms. “I… I can’t…”

“What are you talking about boy, get your dirty ass out of my pool right fucking now”. Joel is getting louder, and Jesse understands he has no choice. He climbs onto the deck, not looking into either yours or Joel’s face. Immediately the source of his embarrassment becomes very clear: He still sports a hard-on. You smirk with your head down. God you might be a bitch, but this is just too funny. Joel looks at him. 

“So that’s why you are really here”, he muses. “Trying to get a quiet place to fuck.” Both of you shake your head fervently. “No Mr. …” Joel steps in front of you, looming. “So then why is your friend’s dick up n’ready if not to fuck you, hm?” He looks at your frowning face, then looks back to Jesse. He reads the truth from both your faces. “Oh I see. So you” he points his gun at you “don’t want to fuck him”, he concludes and steps to face Jesse. “But you want to fuck her. Pretty badly. Am I right?”. He places the pistol under Jesse's chin, tilting his face upward. “Answer me.”

“Yes sir” he whispers. 

“Yes what? Why are you here again?”

“I am here because I want to fuck her” Jesse looks like he is going to cry. Joel takes a step back from him. “That wasn’t so hard was it. So, then what happened? She left you in there with blue balls?” Jesse nods, looking at his toes with a red embarrassed face. He is so pathetic is all you can think. 

Joel’s attention returns to you. He points his gun at you once more and your pulse hitches, even though you are quite sure he would not use it, right? His face is unreadable, less angry now, but still dark and unfriendly. You fear you can’t charm yourself out of this situation. “Hands up” he barks at you. Stunned you take a second to register the command. Joel waves his pistol upwards impatiently. You raise your right hand while keeping your left clasped in the towel, maintaining a modest cover in front of you. “Both hands, up now”. You stare at Joel in disbelieve. What is his point? “Don’t have all night, put your hand up god dammit!” You let go of the towel to lift your hand over your head. It falls on the ground with a thud, leaving your body exposed to Joel’s view. Your underwear is still wet and your nipples harden immediately in the light breeze. You register a dangerous glint in Joel’s eyes as he watches you. Hungry you think. Shit, you are in deep shit here. Fear starts to creep up in your body and settles in your core. What is this lunatic going to do to me? 

“Please,” your voice is way too high and weak “please Mr Miller, let us go. We’ll not bother you again, I promise”. He doesn’t react. Just stands there, puffing his cigarette while looking at you as if you were a piece of red meat. “Can see why you want to fuck her” he finally concludes and pulls at his cigarette. “Pretty tits, nice hips. Am I right?” Jesse nods hesitantly. “You know what, I am not one to ruin your night”. Joel gestures to the sunchair. “Lay down”. You don’t move. Your head spins. Your eyes are darting from one corner of the garden to the other, searching for a way out, but to run away you have to get past Joel. And you are not so sure anymore if he would shoot you or not. I always knew this guy was fucked up.

Joel seizes your right wrist and violently pulls you to the sunchair. Pain shoots through your shins as you fall onto it. Joel pushes your shoulders down and your head slams onto the wooden chair frame. “Sit still”. He takes two cable ties out of the pocket on his robe. Why on earth does he have these on him? You stare at him without understanding anything until he slides one over your right hand and the armrest. Before you can react, he tightens it and the plastic cuts into your skin. “No”, you shout, “what are you doing?” “Keep quiet and sit still” His hand comes down onto your face, you hear the slapping sound and your cheek burns. It happens so fast that it succeeds at shutting you up. You stare up at him, frozen and speechless. You don’t dare fighting back as he chains your other hand to the chair as well. Nobody walks around with zip ties in his bathrobe just like this. He must have taken them from his house on purpose. He knew he was going to do this to you. You hear your blood rushing in your ears, everything seems fuzzy. Breath, just breath, you need to get your shit together! You try to calm your heartrate down. You unclench your hands and try to relax, breathing through your nose. “That’s right, be a good girl” Joel’s voice next to your ear sends shivers down your spine. You feel his breath on your cheek. Don’t look at him, just concentrate on yourself. You keep your eyes straight ahead, but you cannot block out Joel’s words as he is now talking to Jesse. 

“What’s your name”

“Jesse”

“Ok Jesse, here she is, all ready for you now. She can’t run away anymore.” 

Cold metal touches your arm and you jerk away, the ties holding you back and causing pain to shoot up your arms. Joel runs the barrel of his gun up to your shoulders, over your collarbone and under your chin. You open your eyes slowly. He stares at you with an insidious grin. 

“Come on, you can touch her now, she won’t bite anymore”. 

Jesse stands at your feet, eyes blown out by fear. Joel pulls the second sun chair over to himself, positioning it a meter away from you. He sits down, legs wide apart, still smiling and smoking his cigarette, gun lazily pointed at you from his knee.

You turn over to Jesse. He looks mortified. You shake his head at him. Don’t do it. But he is too afraid of Joel not to obey. He takes a few small steps towards your feet. You bring you knees up, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

“Come on boy, don’t be scared, she won’t do anything to you. She will be a good girl, right sweetie?” Joel sounds like he is enjoying this. Jesse breaths deeply in and out, as to prepare himself to do what he has to do. 

You lie there and feel helpless. Your mind has gone blank, there is nothing you can do about anything that is going to happen. As you watch Jesse approach, you start to tremble. His first touch on your knee feels like an electric shock. You look up to his face. It is pale and shows no emotion. Like a zombie. His fingers feel cold on your thigh and his gaze is transfixed on your body. He can’t even look me in the eyes. He pushes your legs to one side so he can sit down next to you on the chair. He looks over you, your hands, your arms, your belly, your chest. Until he finally arrives at your face. His eyes say Forgive me, and you almost pity him, but as he lays down next to you, you feel his hard-on poke into your hip. No, that cannot be true. He cannot be enjoying this. You turn your face to his with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he whispers. “No, Jesse, you don’t have to do this.” you whisper back. “Jesse, please, get off me” you whimper, eyes watery and burning. His hand creeps up your body and over your chest. He stops and grabs your breast tightly. You hear his laboured breathing right at your ear and he starts grinding into your thigh. Your mind wants to fight, claw, bite and spit at him, but your body has given up. You are limp, unmoving, tears streaming down your face. 

Jesse rolls on top of you, his head still at your neck, kissing you behind the ear. Fucking coward, you scream at him in your mind. But no sound escapes your lips. He humps into your lower body, his hand still kneading your breast. You cannot stand to watch this one more second. You close your eyes, breathing through your mouth to not smell his aftershave. A sound from your left reminds you of Joel’s presence. He sat up in his chair, dark eyes fixed on the pair of you, holding the gun in one hand, while he palms himself with the other under his robe. Fucking pervert. He sees your horrified expression and grins. 

No, you are not giving him a show, not for longer than needed. Jesse cannot handle you. If you play along, he will come in under a minute. It will be over fast. 

This is the first coherent plan your brain can come up with and it immediately gives you a glimmer of hope. I don’t want this. But it’s Jesse, it could be worse. You turn your head to Jesse’s face. “Hey, please, if we are going to fuck, at least kiss me properly first.” Jesse’s body tenses up as you speak to him in such brute language. But he gives in and raises his face over yours, the hopeful puppy eyes shining through his zombie mask. You do your best to soften your features, even though you cannot manage a smile. “Ok.” You think Jesse is more talking to himself than you. Timidly he closes the distance and presses his lips onto yours. They taste like chlorine from the pool and beer from earlier in the pub. You fight a gag reflex and open your mouth for his tongue. He licks into you and you lift your hips up to press on his. Come on boy, stop holding back. He moans and starts panting into your open mouth. 

“Take your pants off” you encourage him. He immediately follows your orders, sitting up on his knees, fumbling with the zipper and finally kicking them off to the side together with his boxers. His white body almost glowed in the moonlight. His member rigid and ready as he leans over you. You want to crawl away, but you all you manage is a few centimetres before the ties hold you in place. He starts dragging your panties, but you stop him. “No, Jesse, just pull them aside. Come on, no time, I want you now” Fuck you Miller, you’re not going watch me naked. Jesse is way too far gone to hear your false tone. With two fingers he pushes aside the black lace. If he had a brain, he would realize I am dry as a desert. Shit, I hope it’s not going to hurt too much. You see Jesse holding his dick to line himself up. At least he is not very big. “Spit on it” you tell him, this time in a sharp and clear voice. Jesse’s head shoots up at your demand. “Please” you add. He spits in his hand and starts lubing himself up. Thank god. You try to relax and brace for his intrusion. You can take it, just imagine it is someone else. Someone you like. Someone hot. You close your eyes as Jesse collapses onto you and starts pushing in, with grunts that remind you of a fat pig. Someone hot, come on now. It was not that easy. Your ex comes to mind, but you never really enjoyed sex with him. Some one-night stands you had were gorgeous, but you couldn’t really remember how they looked. You felt Jesse sliding deeper into you. It burns, but it’s still tolerable. Come on, there has to be someone. 

You clench your eyes shut and your mind creates a picture. A picture of a man that was familiar, that you had fantasised about many times before. 

No, nonono, not now, not him. You gasp and open your eyes, but close them again fast as you see Jesse face distort as he feels you clench on his dick. The man appears again before your inner eye: Joel Miller, in every detail, as if if he was burnt into your eyelids. You see his stern face, his fuzzy salt-and-pepper hair and beard, now slightly more grey then the last time you imagined him like this. It makes him look more serious. His eyes are cold, but with this hungry look that terrified you so much earlier. His jaw clenched, chin slightly up, he stares at you, condescendingly. You see his broad shoulders and muscular builder arms with visible veins. You always wanted to touch those, grab onto them while he fucks you. Shit, why do you want him so much?

You turn your head sideways, away from Jesse’s moaning to look over to Joel. He has opened up his robe and is clearly stroking himself, getting off at you being claimed and overpowered by another man. His thick thighs are spread wide apart. A sudden jolt of arousal courses though you and you feel how your pussy is getting more damp, with every stroke of Joel’s big hand.  Joel grins, he can read your emotions like book. Immediately you turn away. No, I can’t let him have this. He is crazy, a fucking pervert! He is enjoying watching me getting raped! you scolded yourself. But his image had turned you on enough so Jesse fucking you felt a bit better. If he would just touch your clit you could almost enjoy yourself… But no, you wanted this to be over fast.

“Come on Jesse, give it to me, fuck me harder” you hiss between clenched teeth. As he starts pounding you tense all your muscles as much as you can. Jesse feels you tightening and with a stream of ‘Oh god’s he pushes into you two more times before you feel him coming inside you. The sensation of his cum spurting into you and his sweaty hands and body on you immediately takes you back into reality and makes you instantly nauseous. You wriggle under Jesse’s now limp body, trying to throw him off you. You feel like you can’t breath, a lump ties up your throat. Jesse props himself up and looks down at your teary face. And finally, his brain seems to register what he has done. You see panic wash over him and he stumbles to his feet and away from you. He quickly finds his boxers and puts them on while walking away backwards, still looking at you with bulging eyes. “I.. I am so, so.. so sorry” he stammers, until he finally turns around and runs away. You want to scream after him. Coward. Pervert. Rapist. But you are still chained, still trying to stop yourself from vomiting. Still not safe. So, you keep quiet. 

You hear Joel getting up and strutting over to you. As he steps over your body you look up at his looming figure. The first thing you register is that he left the gun on the other sunchair. You feel relief, at least he is not going to kill me. But the second thing you see lets you shudder again. He is holding his big, fully erect cock with both hands in front of you. The head is red, engorged and fat, looking almost like a mushroom. Pulsating veins run along the shaft and down to his big heavy balls. He slowly fucks his fists, spreading dripping precum over his whole length. “Tsss, look at the mess the little boy left” he mutters, bending down to have a better look at your face. “And he didn’t even make you cum. Boys nowadays don’t have any manners” His breath smells like cigarette. You stare at him with all the hate you can muster. He laughs. “Don’t look at me like that. You brought this onto yourself, playing games all night with this poor guy. You don’t have any manners either.” He cocks his head sideways. “But tell me, who did you think of when he fucked you? Hm?” 

Shitshitshishit, how does he know? Joel stands back up and laughs again. “I remember you staring through the hedge at me when I was doing garden work. You seemed to enjoy the view. Am I not right?” He glares down at you. You stare back defiantly. His expression hardens and he slaps his hard dick in your face. “Answer me!” You try to hold back, but the tears are rolling down your face again. You feel embarrassed and exposed. “Yes.” 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir, I was spying on you.”

“And why did you do that?”

“Because I thought you were hot” Your voice is almost inaudible.

Joel chuckles. “Well baby, today is your happy day where all your dreams come true. Because I am going to fuck some manners into you.”

It feels like your body did not know how to react to these words. You are horrified, scared, appalled. And at the same time, warm arousal stirs in your belly. It makes you cry even more, but Joel does not seem to like that. “Stop crying, I don’t want to look at a baby when I fuck your face.” He had opened up his bathrobe and you look at his toned chest, his belly rising with his breaths, the v lines you always found so sexy pointing down towards his big heavy member. You swallow hard, and once more try to stabilise your breathing. The tears slowly stop falling. 

Joel gropes your hair tilting your head back. “Open your mouth”. As soon as your lips part he shoves his dick down your throat. You try to swallow all of him, but as soon as he hits the back you start gagging. He pushes in even more and you can’t breath. You taste the salty and tangy aroma of the mix of his juices and sweat. When he yanks himself out of you, you wheeze and cough. “Fuck, girl you look like a proper whore with your mouth on my dick” He pushes his tip against your lips. “Now suck it”. He goes easier on you this time. But he is so big your lips hurt from stretching around him. And the worst is that his taste is not appalling to you, on the contrary, you want to lick his cock clean and him staring at you while you doing it is turning you on so much. You hate yourself when tingling starts to spread between your legs and you hate yourself even more when a whine escapes you when Joel circles one of your nipples with his fingertips. “Look at this little whore enjoying herself” he coos, freeing your breast from your bra and pinching your nipple hard. You groan from the sudden pain and his cock twitches in your mouth. Sick motherfucker. 

He retreats and picks up the towel on the floor. “Let’s make you pretty and clean for daddy to ruin you, shall we”. He sticks two thumbs under your panties to pull them down, but you kick his leg up to stop him. He dodges your knee and slams your leg back down onto the chair. He seizes both your ankles easily despite you resisting. He is way stronger than you. And that should really not turn you on so much. He forces your legs open and kneels down between them. “I said, let’s clean you up” he hisses between gritted teeth. He grabs your panties and rips them in two. Your pussy lays bare in front of him. Your folds glisten from your arousal and Jesse’s cum is gradually dripping out of you. “Such a mess” Joel repeats. He runs his thumb through your folds and it takes all your resolve to not squirm. Fuck, this should not feel good. All about this is wrong. Joel gazes up at your concentrated face and presses down on your clit, hard. “Fucckk” you hiss while jerking your hips up again Joel’s hand. He starts rubbing small circles and you want to scream. It feels so good. He gets faster and a hot coil forms in your belly. No, don’t come, don’t give him this. But you are helpless. The coil snaps and your body convulses as you inadvertently moan, from pleasure and embarrassment at once.

Joel watches as your pussy clenches down on nothing and a gush of cum flows out. He takes the towel, wraps it around his hand, pushes it into you with two fingers and starts to turn it around. The fabric is rough and raspy, and it feels like the outer layers of your walls are ground off. Your moan turns into a yelp. Joel keeps going until every drop of wetness that was in you is soaked up in the towel. He then yanks it out, lays it on you and rubs over your clit. You try to turn your body away, but his other hand is firm on your hip, you cannot move. Your insides feel as if you were internally skinned and the coarse material on your sensitive spot is too much. You cry out, but he doesn’t stop. He leans over you to reach your mouth and covers it with his hand to keep you quiet while his other hand rubs your clit through the towel. Your while body tenses up from the overstimulation and more tears fill your eyes as you try to scream against Joels hand. Your chest lifts from the chair, as he keeps dragging the fabric over your clit. Every nerve in your body firest and the world reduces to the painful red pleasure pulsating from the sweet spot between your legs.

The second orgasm hits you like a lightning. You bite into Joel’s palm, pain shoots through your wrist where the cable binders hold you against the sunchair as you pull on them. Violent spasms run in waves through your abdomen and you feel how a stream of juices shoots out of you and onto Joel’s towel covered palm on your mound. 

As you come down from your high your body goes limp, exhausted. Joel inspects the bite marks you left on his palm with intrigue, but his hands are covered thick skin from manual work and you did not draw a even one drop of blood. Then he lifts the ruined towel to his nose and inhales deeply while starting to fist his dick again. “Shit, baby, your squirting almost made me come on your tits.” When he looks back down on you his eyes had gone completely black. “I will fuck you now. And you will enjoy it, you hear me?” You nod and quickly add “Yes, sir”. He takes your wobbly legs and throws them on his shoulders, lifts your hips up and positions his hands to get a good grip. He lines himself up and pushes into you in one strong thrust. You hold onto the armrests you are tied to and your eyes roll into the back of your head as you are parted in two. He bottoms out with a groan, his balls slap onto your ass, and you try to remember how to breath.

“Fuck, baby, so tight” you hear Joel mutter as he retracts and slams back into you with full force. You wince, not able to muster any strength to hold yourself together anymore. You enter a trance-like state where you feel your body being rocked back and forth as if in slow motion, see how Joel’s head falls back, feel his fingers dig deep into the flesh of your hips. You see him fucking you from above, see the sweat running down his temples, and into his beard. You hear your bodies connect with wet slaps sounding like thunder as he enters you again and again. 

With a guttural grunt he pulls out and lets you fall back into the chair. Your consciousness returns into your body as he mounts you, pressing your legs down at your side to fold you in two like a jack knife. His face is now just millimetres from yours, you can feel his breath on your hot skin. “I know you want this” he breathes. You slowly shake your head, but he stops by digging three fingers painfully into your jaw. “You want me, and when I’m finished you go home, you go to bed and touch yourself thinking about me.” You nod very slowly. 

“Good girl. Now take my cock I want to come into your dirty pussy.” He grabs one of your breast and sucks hard on your nipple as he smashes himself back into you. The angle is so deep you can feel him in your gut. As he starts fucking into you, he hits the back of your cervix which makes you cry out loud. It both hurts and electrifies you. You pant, mouth agape, your pussy feels sore and wounded. Joel grunts, one of his hands wanders over your breast to your collarbone and closes around your throat. He holds you in place, slamming his cock into you directly hitting that perfect spot at the back of your cunt. You try to breath, but can only gasp. Your vision gradually goes dark as the lack of oxygen grows, your body arches up, all your muscles strung to breaking point. As another hard stroke hits your cervix, stars explode in front of your eyes and you clench down on Joel repeatedly, milking his dick. He groans forcefully and hot cum fills you once again, spilling over and dripping out, Joel’s cock pulsating rhythmically. He releases his chokehold on your neck and you desperately gasp for air while laying back down against the chair, muscle spasms running through your belly and legs. You close your eyes, feeling fuzzy in the head and exhausted like never before in your life. 

You don’t realize when Joel gets up and undoes the zip ties binding you onto the chair. Your arms fall down to the floor devoid of any strength. He covers you with the clean towel before walking off and enters his house.

You wake up a few hours later, cold and clammy, the garden and pool laying in complete darkness. You sit up and clutch the towel against your chest, fear running through every nerve in your body. But you see and hear nothing and nobody. Your heart rate normalises and very carefully you put your feet down one side of the sunchair onto the wooden deck. You look at your wrists. Deep red marks show where you had been chained just a few hours ago. You feel the panic again rising in your chest. I need to get out of here. Bent over and the towel pressed tightly to your chest you run towards the hedge. If you remember correctly there is a small hole where you can squeeze through to the back of your house. Yes, here it is. Half naked as you are the branches of the bushes leave scratches on your arms and back, but you don’t care. You hurriedly look for the extra key under the doormat of you back entrance and after some fumbling due to your shaky hands you manage to open the door. As quietly as possible you make your way upstairs to your room and close and latch the door behind you. Your mother doesn’t like you locking yourself into your room, but tonight you need the security. You fall onto your bed, pressing your face into your pillow, breathing the familiar scent and after many long deep breaths you slowly, very slowly, start feeling your body again. 

First you feel the cuts from the hedge, then your wrists start to hurt. And finally, you feel the wet stickiness between your legs. Your body starts to tremble as everything that happened, with Jesse and then Joel plays out again in your head. You cry, the pillow muting your sounds. You cry until you have no tears left in you. 

After the panic and dread had settled down you sit up and start cleaning your folds with your bedsheets. As you do that your view is drawn outside the window in front of you, to the pool in your neighbour’s garden. Joel stands there in his bathrobe, looking up at your room, your dress in your hand. You freeze and feel how your hand automatically starts massaging your clit. Joel’s voice echoes in your head “When I’m finished you go home, you go to bed and touch yourself thinking about me.” Lust pierces through you like fire. Fuck.

[kkami-writes]

hey guys!! long time no talk......here's a little life update!

so as you remember I got a job at the beginning of novemeber! while kinda stressful and hectic I really enjoyed working with the dogs and was happy even if i didn't have as much time for other things. December took a bit of a rough turn with seasonal depression and just feeling no motivation for really much of anything. For context for years I've never really had amazing birthdays, I've been disappointed, upset or just alone on my birthdays and I've long lost the excitement of my birthday. This year, I took a trip to Orange County/LA to visit family. We had planned on doing an escape room (something I've only done once but enjoyed but with my anxiety the thought of being locked in a room freaks me out). my cousins bf however booked a saw themed room. for those of you who don't know. I hate horror. ok, I digress. sometimes I can watch horror. but i mostly more enjoy horror video games but even then I do NOT play them for the most part. And if I do I usually have to take a break bc my anxiety spikes. In years I have gotten better at dealing with it, but in general horror movies specifically trigger me pretty badly. And prior to this, my anxiety had been out of control, constant anxiety and panic attacks that I didn't think I was even going to make it on my trip. So needless to say I was upset. Because I was looking forward to doing an escape room, I enjoy puzzles and thinking but that being said I would never ever do a horror themed escape room. I felt bad because I couldn't do it and they had already paid and it was about an hour before we had to leave. (thank god I asked what the theme of the room was before we got there). anyway, with all my emotions that I had been piling up in me, I just had a bad breakdown and cried. They all ended up going bc again, didn't want to waste money and I just wanted to be alone at that point anyway. Regardless, I still had a good time on the trip, "minor" bump aside. We went to little tokyo and I got to go to designer con for a bit. ALSO I love my cousins bf, he's a really nice guy. He did not know I don't do horror so it's not his fault. In his defense it was more supposed to be horror comedy / parody but I was already very highly anxious that even that would freak me out.

With my job, the original owners of the daycare had sold it, due to personal circumstances so we were getting a whole new owner. Except that a lot of us did not agree with things they were going to be adding or the way they interacted with the dogs. They have "nap time" which is literally just them crating all the dogs for almost 2 whole hours. Not all the dogs are crate trained and needless to say, did not enjoy it. When we tried it a few times it was just non stop barking for 2 hours. It was heartbreaking and sad. Literally everyone but two people have quit and decided they would not be working with these new people who clearly don't really care about the dogs. It's all about how to make the most money. The new owners don't even HAVE a dog. It's kinda crazy. So that being said...I have also decided to leave as I just don't feel comfortable there anymore. Which is heartbreaking because even though it's been two months, I've really bonded with these dogs and love them and it feels like I've left them to fend for themselves :/ anyway, I don't want to keep rambling on and on. but basically! i'm on the hunt for a new job and still struggling a bit with motivation and my mood, but i'm still hoping to return back to writing in january. I miss you guys a lot and have missed writing. I'm gonna answer all my asks soon. Thanks <3

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

let's do a reversal! pick 8-10 asks that didn’t have Delta in them and tell me what I’d be like if he was. i’d kinda prefer adopted twin!Delta, but do whatever!

Let's go with some recent asks, and with the Twin!Delta (basically an AU where another Classic Sans and Papyrus adopts Disbelief Papyrus as Papyrus's twin brother if you're new here)!

Skeleton had to go under anesthesia. When he wakes up, completely shoot, he asks to the guy next to him who he is and what's he's doing in his room. That's his brother lol. Skeleton is shocked to learn he has a brother. Reaction?

Delta is quite confused since... Uh... He can see himself right in front of him. He's not gonna lie, he's starting to freak out, wondering how it's possible he can see himself in front of him if he's himself. He's he even himself? Wait, how does he knows if he is himself or not? And who is he to start with? His brain freezes from that point and he chooses to fall back asleep to restart his brain lol. When he wakes up, both Sans and Papyrus are very concerned despite the doctor telling to them it's normal he's like this. Having an identity crisis after an anesthesia is a very Papyrus way to deal with the situation, that's all.

The Undertale characters are having a family dinner with their S/O's family. S/O's grandma starts to flirt with them, but not really seriously. They're charming them playfully. They are just charmed by their partner and want to know more. How do they react?

He's so anxious. Delta is not very comfortable to start with, but now your Grandma is stressing him out and he's calling you for help. Since you told him to get over it and didn't help him, he found another solution and begged Papyrus to switch place with him because he's more comfortable with weird social interactions. He forgot to precise to his twin that your grandma is about to flirt with him, but oh well. It's not that important. Papyrus comes homes with five itchy pullovers and refuses to talk to Delta all night long.

Hi, how do the Skelly's like to dance?

Delta is a shy dancer at first, but if you're cheering him on, he might get more comfortable as the party goes on. He really wants to have fun, but he's not too comfortable doing it in public. However, when Papyrus is with him, it always end bad as poor Delta always gets convinced to drink with Undyne and him, and then somehow it's always happening the craziest thing during the parties, like that time Undyne decided that if she had two hands, it's to dance with the both of them at the same time and she made them spin until neither of them could hold on their legs anymore, just begging her to let go.

Can I get how UT, US, Uf, sans would react to their s/o having a best friend who doesn't like monsters. How would they act when they are around or when the s/o isn't looking?

Delta really doesn't like your friend and will repeatedly show his discomfort to you so you understand it. He has trouble with people disliking him just for being a monster, it reminds him too much of what happened Underground. He tries to ignore them as much as he can, but he can't say nothing when your friend antagonizes him as soon as you're gone. Delta is going to tell eyes in eyes to cut your bullshit and leave him alone or he'll sue you for monster racism. He prefers to leave after that and goes home, upset.

So, their s/o was chilling inside their hom, and some random stalker break into the house and ries to kill them for dating a monster, but s/o kill the human before in self-defense. What would happen if the skellies came home and saw the mess, the dead stalker's body and a panicked s/o not knowing what to do?

Delta freezes when he sees the body. He's badly triggered. He can't stand the view of the blood, or the corpse, and he's really not feeling well. He's still glad his S/O is fine, but... He never thought he would have to deal with this in another world. He doesn't want to deal with that. He calls Sans to take care of this, and just gets out of the house with his S/O. He's going to have nightmares for months after that, and he's wearing his brother's jacket again. He needs comfort, but neither S/O or his adopted brothers can't really understand what he went through, so he isolates himself.

What would the reaction of the main skelebros be to being unusually quiet?

Sans didn't notice Papyrus is unwell, but Delta noticed. He's not sure what to do since... Well, even if he's technically adopted, he still struggles to show how he cares, scared to be rejected. But he knows way too well that when Papyrus goes silent, it means something is really wrong. He'd been there. And Delta feels sick leaving him like this. During his stay Underground, loneliness is what bothered him the most, even with Sans. So... He slowly approaches Papyrus and asks him what's wrong. Papyrus is shocked he noticed, but, eh. Maybe they can try to be better at showing things together?

Which skellies are most likely to let their S/O sleep on top of them and which skellies are most likely to sleep on top of their S/O?

He needs to feel his S/O is there so he gives them the hug of death lol, just squeezing them in his arms like some big teddy bear to make sure they're not going to disappear during the night. He might sometimes call you Sans in his sleep which can be quite heartbreaking though.

A random guy kidnapped skeleton to escape the police and handcuffed themselves to him. Now they're running through the city, trying to escape. Who complies? Who is not?

Delta is freaking out. He doesn't like to be too close to humans with a level of violence and be forced to stay by their side even more. So, uh, as soon as no one is around, Delta summons a huge bone and knocks them out, hitting them right behind the head. He apologizes once they're on the ground, and uses his puzzle skills to unhandcuff himself. He then handcuffs the guy to a fence and calls the police to get them.

Someone tied a dog to a tree in front of skeleton's house, and now it's raining a ton. What do skeletons do?

That's a long time he has lost faith in humanity, so he's not too surprised some guys would just leave their dog under the rain. He gets nervous as he realizes that's some hours now and the dog is still here. Delta runs under the rain to pick up the poor dog and brings him home to safety. He brings the dog to the vet the next day to see if he has a chip. He's disgusted to discover the dog has one, but that his owner is refusing to take the dog back, even asking the vet to put it to sleep. Delta adopts the dog. He can't bear this. He hopes his ex-owner will cross paths one day to show them how happy the dog is now.

Undertale characters slip on ice and break their butts/tail bone.

The two grandmas in the house in front of his are talking about how Delta is always polite and nice to everyone and how he's a model for the young ones in the street. Suddenly, they hear Delta screams and starts cursing the whole world in pain, trying to sit down but actually falling back on the ice. The grandmas are in shock. Delta is not innocent, what the hell. They're going to need muffins to forget.

[icharchivist]

Square really had no faith in this game doing well if they didn't frontload it with popular characters, huh

Honestly that's the feeling i get.

I will forever remember this interview before the Remake came out of one of the main dev of the game (who had gone on record saying he Hated Zack btw -- i still have the magazines with this interview in it!!! bc the guy was the guy focused on Sephiroth and the Zack plotline replaced his initial plot) was talking about "we know fans are looking forward to go back to their favorite, like Cloud, Sephiroth and Zack, and i hope the remake will make them appreciate to see their favs again who have left such an impact on people", and it raised fucking red flags to me because in what circumstances are those the characters you narrow down from ff7, especially THIS GUY. Especially when the game OPENS on Aerith.

Genuinely red flags that they were genuinely worried about how the game would do without those three being there despite the fact Sephiroth and Zack couldn't be there if they followed the plot of the OG

Like i think they were caught in a contradictory set up of, they knew fans liked the setting of Midgar, and would love to see it expended, so they wanted to focus the remake entirely on the first Midgar parts of the OG.

Midgar parts that are *not that long*, so to make it a coherent game, you'd need a lot of padding.

While ALSO the fact the Midgar part plot is extremely tight in term of timing, this is where the game is at its most linear, so it's not like there's a lot of room in the narrative of the OG itself to insert supplementary content.

while ALSO the fact that the most memorable things of the game, (aside perhaps from Wall Market that even people who never played the OG knew about because of all the memes and stuff) are ways later in the game.

Sephiroth is a legendary villain, everyone knows his iconography, if you saw him in KH or Dissidia or like that Smash Bros Trailer, would expect a couple of things about him. But all of those itterations of Sephiroth came from Late Game Sephiroth.

But Sephiroth was legendary because of the frankly unsettling slow burn they do to reveal him, to show you the extend of his power, and showing how slowly he eventually gets to pay attention to the main group. The threat of Sephiroth comes from the unsettling way he's set up, but everyone in pop culture knows bits of Late Game Sephiroth.

And as his whole thing was a slow built, he doesn't appear at all in Midgar. He gets mentioned in some conversations in ways that only makes you think there's a shared past going on, then you see the aftermath of his crimes, and it's only once you leave Midgar that you then get to hear Cloud's flashbacks about Sephiroth, and even much more later that you actually meet him.

And Sephiroth's biggest move is a way he will start to manipulate Cloud slowly but surely in a way that that is difficult to explain but require also the slow built the OG made. I think like. The thing about the beginning of the OG is that lots of Cloud's mental breakdown has nothing to do with Sephiroth (or at least not Sephiroth as he in right now, at best it's from memories). So once the Sephiroth stuff enter the pictures you kinda get to freak out because you dismissed Cloud's mental breakdowns as just this kind of weird thing but it's fine right? into seeing how the line between "mental breakdowns out of memories" and "mental breakdowns because Sephiroth is influencing him" start to blur.

This line never existed in the Remake because almost every single time Cloud has a break down, Sephiroth appear to be ominous. lol. lmao even.

then we also have Zack. Poor Zack. A mystery that is built through the entire OG, passing mentions and seeing Cloud barely flinch, and how it's his existence that ends up used in a way that triggers Cloud so badly it triggers the apocalypse. In a way the player also gets to follow the horror of Cloud losing his mind because you never left Cloud's point of view when Zack is concerned and all the reveals will hit you just as hard.

but Zack is legendary because of what this reveal tells you about his character. He was already beloved before the prequel even came around because of how just what you could connect once you knew what to look for. And then the prequel came out and Zack became one of the most popular character from the whole FF saga. because he's charming and fun and tragic.

But it doesn't happen before the late part of the game. So what do you do now? Square decided to just reveal him from the start instead of realizing people have been obsessed with Zack for years because of the way his absence is built.

One of the most well known scene is also the Major Character Death, considered a death of legend. In the game it is built to it slowly because of what the character it involves grow into the more they learn into this journey. In the remake they already lampshade all of this in a way the character sound a lot more self important than they were at this point.

and all of that for what?? i'm near the end of the game and no matter what it still seems unfinished as hell. I don't get the feeling i got a whole game experience that maybe could have a follow up, i feel like i played an overlong first part of a game with a weirdly stitched on ending.

because they couldn't trust the fans would follow and they had to rewrite a whole main plot to change things.

*bites fist and screams* seems like i'll die mad about it huh. man.

[lonely--shine]

*takes a big breath* fear and masks for ebis, marcus, requiem, and lullaby ifitsnottoomuchtoaskplease? 😇

(yes, i'm a sucker for cute couples infused in angst, why do you ask?)

Thanks for the ask! Let's dive in!

(this is gonna be long, and I did no proof read it, so sorry for that xD)

FEAR: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

Ebis: Okay, so, I don't know if I'd call it her "greatest fear", but she's actual-meaning-of-the-word triggered by darkness. She doesn't exactly remember it, but just before loosing her memories, she had an accident during an exploration mission. An ancient ladder gave out beneath her and she had a nasty fall in which she badly hit her head. Her torch broke in the fall, so it was pitch-black as she slowly bleeded out, unable to move or speak and convinced she was gonna die there where no one would ever find her. She doesn't remember exactly, but she has nightmares about being in the darkness, in pain, helpless and feeling doomed. She hates the darkness because it takes her back to a moment she can't remember, but her body does; she will feel that same doom and pain when she's in the dark.

She feels quite silly about this fear, and it takes Marcus directly asking her about it for her to share it. I don't think she would otherwise be open about it with others, as she doesn't want to be judged as childish or have to tell about her trauma to get taken seriously.

Marcus: To be abandoned, left alone, left behind. Marcus has always been a solitaire man who struggles to connect to other people, and he's had some bad experiences with getting close/working along other people. His fianceé died, which broke him, and when he started working in the Submachine, it only led to betrayal. Murtaugh never careed about him, Elizabeth couldn't save him, nobody came back for him. He has gone through so much isolation, both self-imposed and forced on him, but truth is man hates every second of it. So when he meets Ebis, the fear is there "what if I'm alone again?". He eventually voices this fear to her. I believe with time and lots of therapy he'd learn to manage this fear, even if not make it disappear completely. Make it not be this all consuming thing but this fucking annoyance he has to deal with. He'll be okay is what I'm saying.

MASK: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

Ebis: She always puts on a cheerful, driven, optimistic front. This is not because she believes everything will resolve in the end, but because she cannot bear to think about the possibility of something going wrong. So she. keeps. moving. Always and no matter what. Even if that reckless path leads to a worse place, she cannot bear to stop because then she'd have to confront her fear. So instead, she pushes on, convinces herself that things will turn for the better if she just keeps going, no matter how reality doesn't match up with that. Awesome resilience, not so awesome avoidance. She will work on this once out of the Submachine tho (both Marcus and her have so much therapy to do), and she is open to Marcus about this.

Marcus: Not really, this man can't mask to save his life xD Closest thing I can think of is... not many people get to really know him. Not because he's actively avoiding it, but man's reserved and has a resting bitch face. So yeah, most people see him as this tol, serious man that looks like he hasn't slept in two weeks, and don't know he's actually a cinamon roll. Ahh, but that assumption fades as soon as they see him around Ebis. Can you see that? The man is capable of smiling! And he looks kinda cute all lovingly looking at his wife. Aww <3

As for Lullaby and Requiem, gosh I haven't thought about them in forever, they're son undeveloped, all aesthetics and like two random facts, halp xD I don't know if I'll be able to answer the questions, but I can talk a bit about them:

Okay, so, for those who don't know Requeim and Lullaby are characters from a word divided in two opposing factions, fighters and dancers. I will put more info under the cut but for now:

Lullaby is a dancer, very skilled from a young age, a gifted kid you could say, and she's one of the best dancer of her village. Kinda elite stuff. Dancer villages can be pretty hierarchic with their dancer: who's the best, who's a beginner, who's not even a dancer. Their communal dancing really reflects that in what role everyone has in the performance depending on at what skill they are.

I think she could be afraid of being told she's not worthy/skilled anough to perform anymore, or that she never actually was. To be rejected specifically becaue the one thing she's poured so much time and effort into perfecting is still not enough and she was just being humoured the whole time. So, gifted kid into adult with imposter syndrome huh.

Requiem is a fighter, a good and skilled fighter, but not particularly "gifted". Not that fighter communities work the same as dancer villages. Fighters aren't so hierarchic, you teach what you can and learn what you can and you're strong together. Their communal fighting is something anyone can join for a good time and to learn, you don't have to be skilled.

I'm... not sure what would be Requiem's greatest fear, to be honest. He grew ina pretty chill and healthy enironment, and as far as I know nothing terrible has happened to him? I mean I guess his fear would be something related to harm coming to his community? But also I don't see him contemplating and getting lost into that possibility. It's why he fights tho. So maybe more than a fear is a motivation? I don't even know man, I'm just thinking aloud at this point.

Okay, so, more lore about fighters and dancers:

Both fighting and dancing are, at the same time, a weapon and an art, something used to harm, but also something pretty to enjoy. Between just fighters, or between just dancers, they can fight/dance recreationally. But if a fighter and dancer fight/dance together, a brush of the skin is enough to cause injury whether they mean to or not. This is the one of the big reasons of why fighters and dancers are at war, believing their very natures to be opposing. It wasn't always like that, tho, there was a time were they were not at war with each other (but everything changed when the fire nation attacked xD).

Requiem and Lullaby first meet at the Battlefield of Lost sounds, a wasteland in a neutral zone where fighter/dancer have been waging wars for generations. I think they meet when the battle has already dissolved, they were sticking around taking a look at the aftermath (also I think the Battlefield has been used for so long and has so much history for both factions that it might be something akin to a sacred place by this point? Why is it still a place for war then? Well, because how you treat sacred looks different in this world, thing is there might have stayed behind for spiritual reflection or something).

Anyway, thing is the two of them meet, and they recognize the other as a dancer/fighter, so they do what they were taught to do. They engage in battle, but the battle is also a performance, and they connect. Rivals but not enemies. Can't help but hurt each other but not supposed to hate each other. So they start fighting/dancing without touching the other, to avoid injuries. And by the end, they come to a sort of understandment. Lullaby still belong to the dancer village, Requiem still belongs to the fighter community, but they will not engage in battle with each other anymore. And they want to learn from each other.

Eventually, they end up forming a team of sorts with just the two of them. I don't know how that pans out in the larger picture/what their relationship to their respective homes will be like after that, but yeah. This is about everything I know.

If you're still reading, here's an old drawing of the babies <3

[desudog]

//TRIGGER WARNING: CRINGE

ive been building my self insert a little more for koshotengai no hashihime.

Basically the idea is , well im carrying over my fursona's theme by making him a kitsune. after the main kinetic novel plays out mostly the same, kawase still has his whole 'i want a hashihime to possess me too so i can go kill myself or whatever' thing going on. so he goes out in search for a different body of water because he knows he cant have tama's. he's pretty lonesome now that both minakami and tamamori are off in the country as much as he hates to admit. he is able to find a spirit with notable power but is disappointed to find out it's not what he was looking for. he doesnt care in typical kawase brat fashion even though, and is ready to brush it off until i make a promise to be able to grant any wish of his in return for living at his home as a human among humans for one year, after which i would leave. thats way too tempting for someone like him so he agrees.

the long story short from there (because im running out of energy to write much longer lol) is that he at first gets really annoyed. he finds out im really annoying and the exact opposite of whats livable to him- loud, touchy feely, an idiot, stubborn and lazy- worst of all, keeps shedding fur everywhere. he doesnt mind too badly however and has to weigh it with the fact that i make dinner and it's much less paralyzingly lonesome in the huge house now, but most of all... im just like tamamori. he cant bring himself to hate my idiocy and loudness and general energy because it reminds him of tamamori and pretty soon im acting as a replacement. at some point he gets a letter from tama and mina talking about where they went and apologizing for being absent, and when i ask who they are, the conversation sort of snowballs into him admitting there was a time where he was thinking of asking if he was welcome to join their relationship. i encourage him to chase it and he says he'll consider it but wants to warm back up to them before asking something so personal. he spends more time with the 2 of them again and begins to realize the stark differences between tamamori and myself. im more mature and refined in public and i know when to shut up, im more "book stupid" than generally stupid, and he also finally realizes how much ive been flirting. he still has a crush on tamamori and minakami but realizes he also has feelings for me, not as tamamori but entirely separately now. after that we end up a 4rouple but kinda more like "me and my boyfriend sometimes fuck you and your boyfriend" than anything wildly dedicated. when the year is over i get really cheesy and tropey with it because of course by now his wish is that i dont have to leave and that id stay.. forever. lol. thats shameless. but thats the basic premise of wedging myself into the canon.

[itzcherrybonbon]

Obey Me OC: Makoto Gushiken ~ ✰

[The design is innacurate in Gacha but- just take it-]

-"Age?"

-"I'm 20!"

-"Birthday?"

-"July 3rd"

-"Nationality?"

-"Japanese!"

-"Sexuality?"

-"I'm straight, but I do support LGBTQ fellows!"

-"What about your pronouns?"

-"She/Her..?"

-"Things you're fond of?"

-"Wellll, I really like chocolate, photography, diving into mysteries and solving them, haunted places, nice and kind of airheads type of people..like Mammon, otome games..And I'm a huge fan of roses, dresses and cute aesthetics. Let's see, what else..Oh, I also really love mythology, especially Greek mythology. I hope I didn't forget to mention anything else..-"

-"How about things you dislike?"

-"I dislike messes, a lot. I always make sure to keep my room clean and everything to stay organized. I also really want to stay away from rude, disrespectful assholes. The nerve some people have..Lucky for them, I'm patient with others. And very much a pacifist. I don't want to get myself in too much trouble. Another thing I hate are..well, guns. The sound of them also..Loud noises in general trigger me. Oh, and I can't really handle alcohol or spice well-"

-"Favorite song?"

-"Hmm, Jenny by Studio Killers!"

-"Thoughts on everybody?"

-"This will be long..Well, I'm gonna start with:"

Diavolo

"Well, I'm really fond of him! I love spending time with him whenever I can. He's such a gentleman, I respect him and look up to him a lot. His friendly attitude reminds me of how protective my dad is..Ahh, I miss home.."

Lucifer

"I don't know how to feel about him. I don't even know if I should trust him..First he protected me from Levi and..just when it seemed we were somewhat on the right foot, he nearly killed me. I probably shouldn't have stepped in, but I had to protect Beelzebub and Luke! Had it not been for Diavolo that day, I wouldn't be here right now. Ever since then, I've been even more uncomfortable and wary of Lucifer."

Mammon

"Assigned to keep an eye on me? More like the complete opposite, I've become this airhead's babysitter ever since I've stepped foot here. For some reason he spends more time in my room than in his, he's even beginning to sleep here now. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he likes me. A lot. That's cute..

To be honest, it's true that he may be kind of stupid, but that still doesn't give the others the right to treat him this badly. I hate it when the others call him names, jokingly or not. So I've been giving Mammon validation ever since. He gave me a nickname too, the guy has been calling me "Maki" a lot recently. Well, isn't that sweet..♡ "

Leviathan

"I'm still trying to get closer to Levi, I think the pact we made is a good start to a nice friendship? He's kind of hard to get along with, but I'm sure he'll open up eventually! I'll keep trying to get into more anime and be extra nice to him! Looking forward to playing videogames together one day. The day of the competition though..When he turned into his demon form and tried to kill me..That was really scary, but I was kinda asking for it, right..? I'm grateful Lucifer saved me. At this point, I've had near death experiences twice in a row. I'm scared for the future, I might not be so lucky next time. But, I'm determined to go back when this all ends and see my parents, so no way I'm going to die here!"

Satan

"We're not that close yet, I'm trying to decide whether or not it's a good idea to trust him. The guy is as mysterious as a snake, I can't tell what he's plotting in his mind. But I know I need to be close to him somehow, how else am I going to make a pact with him? Anywho..he seems like the second most mature and smartest beside Lucifer. In that case, this will be harder than I thought."

Asmodeus

"For the Avatar of Lust..Asmo is really sweet, actually. I really like his company! And he's really good at doing his make-up, maybe he can give me some tips? I'm positive we can get along really well, as far as I've seen he's really such a sweetheart!"

Beelzebub

"Honestly, I think he's another one of my favorite people here. He just..reminds me so much of Kuro..

...

Beel is really sweet..For some reason it breaks my heart when he says "I'm hungry" everytime. I don't want him to starve, even though he's just like that because he's the Avatar of Gluttony. I make sure to share every snack I get with him, I know he'll appreciate that a lot. Being in his presence makes me feel like Kuro is still here with me..heh.."

Belphegor

"Hmph..I'm genuinely not surprised to hear about how he got locked up there, knowing how Lucifer is. I am determined to help him, he deserves better than this. And Beel deserves to see his twin again, it's unfair for them to be separated like this. Sometimes I wonder if Lucifer ever thinks about the happiness of his younger siblings. Because this isn't what older brothers are supposed to do. I hope he learns his mistake once Belphegor talks to him..I'd really love to see all the brothers get along like true siblings, and actually show respect to eachother. I trust Belphegor, I think he knows what he's doing.."

Barbatos

"I don't really have much of an opinion on him, unfortunately..- We haven't interacted much. I hope it's okay to trust him."

Simeon

"He's really friendly, and our interactions have gone pretty well! He seems to be fond of me, a lot. But despite that, he's also got this mysterious aura..I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or my instincts are right. Guess I'll stick around and find out."

Luke

"He's really adorable, and very much talkative..A little too talkative..But hey, that's okay. I know he's a reliable kid, and trustworthy for all the matter! I'm just a human, but I'm going to protect him and try to be there as much as I can. To me, he's already like a little brother! I adore him a lot"

Solomon

"Something about Solomon feels rather off, if you ask me..I'm glad I'm not the only human here but..I wonder if it's okay for me to trust him? Though, our friendship so far is going pretty well. Then..maybe I'm just being paranoid. Come on, Makoto, keep up the positivity! Me and Solomon make a good duo, I'm glad about that! When we go back to earth, will we still be friends I wonder..?"

..........................................................˚ʚ♡ɞ˚.........................................................

Fun facts:

-Makoto's mother is a paranormal investigator, and her father is a private detective. She learned a few things from the both of them, and this is the reason she shows interest in mysteries and haunted places.

TW TW TW TW TW!! TW FOR MENTION OF SCHOOL SHOOTING AND DEATH

You have been warned!

-Makoto had a little brother, 4 years younger than her. His name was Kuro. Sadly, the school Makoto and Kuro attended was suddenly shot one day. While they were trying to escape, a masked man found them and pointed his gun at the children. Kuro stepped in to protect his older sister and got shot in the head, and another time in the stomach. Makoto got shot in the stomach. Before the man could shoot Makoto a second time, three policeman had surrounded the man and arrested him.

The injured kids were taken to the hospital immediately. Makoto survived, but Kuro didn't make it. The Gushiken family was devastated, but Makoto struggled the most. Her parents took her to therapy, also taking the opportunity to get some therapy themselves. The homelife wasn't going well ever since Kuro's death. Makoto's mother started to drink, and her father tried to make his wife snap out of it by reminding her the tension in the house wasn't good for Makoto.

Makoto's mom soon found healthier ways to cope with the grief.

-Yes. Yes, Makoto does *like* like Mammon.

-Makoto is a fan of manga and small figurines, as well as telenovelas.

-She cares a lot about her looks, taking her time to style her hair and do her make-up. She likes staying pretty ♡

-Kuro used to ask his sister for food when their parents were too busy, so Makoto would make him snacks. She gets reminded of that bittersweet memory when she makes snacks or buys candy and shares them with Beel.

-Makoto always wanted to learn to play the piano. The piano is her favorite instrument.

-She's really, really touch starved. She wants to be hugged constantly and cuddle with someone, but is a little too shy to ask.

-Mako has stomach rolls, the baby is really insecure about them :(

.........................................................˚ʚ♡ɞ˚..........................................................

@amberheavendremurr Ding Dinggg! My MC's info is hereee! :33

Enjoy!

[lecpenni]

LEC RETROSPECTIVE: VITALITY

So yesterday I said I was gonna start posting about the team individually, starting with last place in LEC Summer Regular Split 2023, and that means I'm gonna write first about probably the most chaotic and insane story this year, a team known for their frequent superteams and subsequent collapses.

This is the 1,2,3,4 5th! failed superteam from the french organisation, and considering their track record they really aughta stop trying. After coming into the league, shitting it up with that godawful Hachani roster, having a mildly successful run to worlds in 2018 with Kikis and early Attila, and then blowing up every last successful aspect of their roster in 2020 with the Saken rosters, they've since decided that they're going full money, no thoughts and built a roster of hopefully, high quality.

Winter began with a roster of Photon, a former T1 Challenger player who was probably the 3rd or 4th most exciting prospetive toplaner in LCKCL, Bo, the maligned prodigy booted from his home region for matchfixing allegations, who spent 2022 absolutely running EUW and making montages of the top level LEC players, Perkz, a western GOAT, one of the most storied players in our fair region and fresh coming back from his NA journey, looking (honestly) worse than ever.

Now, this topside was fairly exciting. Perkz was historically known mostly as a carry player on mechanical assassins, like Leblanc, but in his recent years, he was yet to show any real promise in game. Out of game, he's a renowned leader and able to get along with anyone. Bo was a prodigy jungler, undefeated in 2021 until the matchfixing allegations came out and arguably doomed the FPX roster, while Photon was a bit of an unknown quanitity. As a CL player, Thanatos was MUCH MUCH better, and others like DnDn are in LCK now and doing well for themselves, but Photon was on T1 Challengers, which has produced some of the best new talent in the LCK and LCS, with Berserker going to NA, Trigger doing well in LFL, and others like Mireu doing well on R7 in the LLA. So you can't exactly discount his potential. Now the botlane? They went from Carzzy and Labrov the year before, with Carzzy looking bottom 3 at best and Labrov being a coinflip on his performances, to a power duo of Neon and Kaiser. Now, as a certified Misfits Fan until their departure, I am always hyped to see former bunnies doing well. Kaiser? Less so. I don't enjoy his play and I think he's either been massively overrated in his time in LEC or performing to a basic average level of what an LEC support should be. So I wasn't exactly excited after Kaiser spent 2021 clinging to Carzzy's legs dragging him back to elo hell, and 2022 ensuring UNFORG1VEN couldn't have too good a time. But, you know, it can always get better. And honestly, who better to bring this roster together than the former Misfits coaching staff? A very strong, proven coaching staff that managed to take a team of middle of the pack players and almost propel them to worlds on unique and interesting strategies, and VTO. Well, Winter began and Bo ended up kinda performing to the level expected. Photon did pretty damn well, and Perkz didn't look bad either. And despite a lot of what people now say, Neon actually didn't do too badly on uncomfortable picks, while kaiser utterly SPRINTED some laning phases and oft abandoned the botlane to push their topside ahead. Not the worst, but on picks like Caitlyn? Yeah not advisable. Neon also showed that he still had it in him with some amazing lategame carry performances on Varus and Zeri, but both of those were so broken at the start of this year that it's maybe easy to discount his performances. The topside certainly had a time. Photon was performing pretty damn well most of the time, usually on Gnar, Gwen or an AP Gragas or two. He ended up being recognised as the best or at least one of the best junglers in the league. Bo was mostly resigned to Maokai, Vi and a very early Graves carry game, and usually went down in kills but, overall, not the worst. Perkz? Yeah not too bad either. An overall mixed bag that had some good azir games, some int tristana games, and a questionable leblanc and taliyah at the end. But the overall cohesion of the team was sometimes called into question. Which, considering this was essentially one of the first LPL players to be brought into the LEC, and an unproven LCK player who had to learn english as well, AND deal with (what I presume was the reason for the vitality collapses before) a general manager who does something. I don't know, but to foreshadow, it's absolutely something to do with management that this team ends up THIS bad, and that most people who move on from Vitality end up so much better off.

Vitality ended the regular season with a 7-2 record, placing them in first place, with losses to a surprisingly strong underdog in SK Gaming, with Irrelevant stomping an Ornn Photon in the toplane and successfully transferring that lead throughout the map, and to KOI, the former Rogue, with a dominant Azir from Larssen, and a double ADC botlane stomping the Zeri-Yuumi of Vitality. But, this was ok, since they tied first alongside MAD Lions, holding the head to head, so taking the lead and their first ever 1st place regular season in LEC. Congrats Vitality! Now just carry that through to the all-new Group Stage! ...This is where this overview is gonna take a bit of a depressing turn. Winter Group Stage is where a lot of Vitality's problems begin. They begin by picking Heretics to go up against. And that's completely understandable. Heretics had the disaster lanes of Evi and Ruby, a fairly weak botlane of Jackspectra and Mersa (sadly) and I'd argue The Western GOAT, Jankos, having a hell of a season with 3 training weights. Unfortunatly, Vitality drop a game to Heretics. Now, not the end of the world, but this game hard exposed some things. Target and overwhelm the botlane, Neon and Kaiser can collapse, and Bo will usually try to salvage bot rather than focus topside. Photon can be beat by forcing him onto tanks, and don't give Bo something he can carry on. An embarassing Cait/Lux lane in game 2, a kindred carry in game 3 from Bo, plus a weak series from Photon showed that the "god" can bleed. But ultimately, Vitality did win. Dropping a game does mean nothing, at the end of the day. You don't lose points or anything for that. And then the KOI series happened. KOI vs Vitality's Bo3 was a disasterclass. A clean 2-0 from Malrang's Xin Zhao, an utter failure of a Nidalee/Yone comp, and speaking of Comp, why did people give him Zeri? He's the pentakill guy now he gets pentakills, cmon. KOI cap off the series by annihilating Vitality, and qualifying for the playoffs. Not the end of the world. Vitality have one more chance, vs... SK GAMING The guys who beat them in regular season, the surging rookies looking promising and incredibly exciting going towards the playoffs. They lost a series too right? To... Koi... Well. Shit. Vitality proceed to play a 40 minute game with maybe one of the most useless scalers ever, Elise, and Perkz' Shitty Goddamn Sylas, and then get stomped in under 25 minutes by The Sertussy on Ahri, and picking Karthus with no protection or scaling in jungle, vs Draven Vi. Oh God. So that's Winter dead and gone now. Placing 5th overall, after winning the regular season, ain't exactly great. Fingers started being pointed, and at the end of the season, the team went forward with heads held high. So you dropped to 2 surging teams with high ceilings? What could go wrong next season?

Well... How about dropping your perfectly fine botlaner? Here's a twitter link for an announcement video that Neon is being benched for Upset! ...What??? A lot of people quickly jumped on board saying that Upset is a better botlaner than Neon, and should be a better fit for vitality's playstyle. He's goddamn Upset, right? The best botlaner EU's ever produced that never won his title? That's what people say. They also like to neglect that fuckin EGO that Upset has. Maybe it's unpopular to say, but some of his comments about being the best to not win a title, or claiming He's too Good to Not Win A Title come off as very egotistic to say the least. But other than that, Vitality remained the same going into Spring. G2 won the split, MAD came 2nd overall, and Vitality have a bright future ahead of them! How can they NOT win the regular seaso- 6-3 they went 6-3. Which is still impressive! But the losses were to goddamn ASStralis (who also went 6-3 and looked a whole lot better without dajor but That's for tomorrow), G2 who just came off from winning a split, and BDS, who were really coming into their form in this meta. Not the worst, but some performances were… sketchy to say the least. Bo didn't look as good, Perkz was faltering in some matchups, Kaiser had some real fuckin int plays at times, and Upset did sometimes play for pure KDA. Photon still looked pretty damn good, playing carries more, and a game or two of malphite who just looked useless at times, but whatever. His Gwen looked good, he had a scary Jayce, a couple of Camilles and a Darius, for a bit of variety! There's not as much to say other than the whole team... well... they looked tired. There was less laughing, less jokes, people seemed frustrated, and overall the atmosphere seemed slightly worse. Speaking as someone completely outside of that sphere, that's what I saw. Which could be completely wrong, but eh. Some things you do have to infer. Their losses often looked much worse than in winter, as well. Bo usually got the bad end of the stick in their losses, looking completely exposed as a fairly bad jungler, which wasn't always fair. Sometimes it was just a passive less explosive botlane which led to slower or longer games which no-one in vitality really wanted to kick start. Even in some wins, Perkz or Photon got hard exposed, while Kaiser kinda shit the bed or messed up engages in lane, leading to Upset usually just playing under turrets and begging for help from Bo. But you can whinge all you want, they still came out with a positive record, and a 4th place position, meaning they get to avoid the top 3 of Astralis, BDS and G2. And they made the best use of it! Groups started out with a very clean 2-0 over MAD Lions, owing to some stellar Zeri Gaming from Upset, then Ahri from Perkz dominating MAD's scaling comps that shit the bed colossaly from Carzzy and Hyli playing Lucian/Nami very poorly all game both times. Not much else to say, but they managed to repeat the effort vs a defeated and downtrodded Astralis, where 113 put on a disasterclass of being punished in jungle. That one series showed the Bo We Were Promised, and uhhh.... it never came back. Seriously. That was the last good performance by vitality, for basically the rest of the year (spoiler). They qualify to playoffs and something flicks in their heads, and they look hollow, like absolute shells of humanity.

First series vs BDS has a kill-less game for Vitality, one of the worst Annie performances for a long time, and an absolute schlacking in the jungle for Bo, on a 1/9 sejuani. There's nothing else to say than it was an absolute wipe, and Vitality get dropped to the lower bracket vs a loser's bracket MAD Lions who infamously were 1 nexus strike away from being dropped to 9th and missing groups, let alone playoffs. And Vitality get a win off the back of a good tristana performance from Perkz, and get roundly whipped into shape by Nisqy and Elyoya, who look world class again if only briefly. An absolute disaster in the botlane for games 1, 3 and 4, Chasy proving that he was the better korean top all along, alongside some really damn good carzzy performancse led to Vitality absolutely losing everything. And that's spring split done. Vitality completely figured out, losing to the top 2 teams one after another, and missing out on MSI. But the team not only made it to playoffs convincingly, but put on some good performances before then! Surely nothing will go wrong going forward? Right? Summer. If any Vitality fans do truly exist, they will shun this season with hatred and fear. And going in, it didn't look much different to Spring, if anything people were more hopeful. Upset was apparently signed hastily after playoffs, meaning a general lack of time to sync up as a team and get on the same page, as well as less scrim time. Well this time, there's a whole ass international tournament in between, hosted near Berlin and a large number of huge players are gonna be in the EU, on soloq and ready to scrim. Week 1 starts in an... unfortunate manner. A quick loss to a humbled and utterly whipped MAD Lions after the infamous 1647 incident, with Bo getting utterly demolished and, of note, a very very distinct lack of harmony. Bo would often start objectives and go entirely MIA during the objective, basically just leashing for the enemy while leaving his lanes in a horrid state, and going for objectives basically against the wishes of the laners. Kaiser looked lost, Upset lost almost every lane, Perkz often got pushed in and left to fend solo vs ganks, and Photon got way too over eager and similarly lost lane, and threw games off of it. Week 1 finishes with a middling win over a slumped SK with some truly disastrous jungle and support performances, and another loss to an up and coming Heretics with Vetheo. Week 2 was worse. A 0-3 week, losing to G2 with another jungle disasterclass, losing to Astralis who outscrapped Vitality to death, and Fnatic who utterly shitstomped Bo with a pocket Amumu. You might notice a recurring pattern of Bo being the most focused and often lost person on this roster. Management thought so too, so they brought up their 17 year old LFL jungler Daglas, who was just ok. A carry focused player who often took risky fights against most conventional wisdom. AKA A mini Bo. Oh God. Week 3 started Daglas' LEC journey, in an absolute snoozer vs Koi where Photon was the only human logged on and Daglas got put on Maokai duty, where they lost, and then on Day 2, they needed the win. Desperately. Without this win, they're eliminated from groups, and it's vs a slumping BDS. This game was fought with blood, sweat, tears, and teeth. A constant back and forth between 2 teams fighting for last chances in the season, and it all comes down to one teamfight. I implore you, if you haven't to watch the final few minutes of this game. It is utterly heartbreakingly close. And BDS just sweep one fight and walk in a wave to end the game. That's it. That's Vitality's season, basically. One more game vs Excel looks just as lifeless as ever, and they're gone. Vitality's out, the superteam has failed again. Well, they can qualify for season finals on a technicality but it's so slim that I doubt they will. Not that I, or any other viewer would want to. They look utterly hopeless and depressed, and I cannot wait to see how badly this ends.

Vitality's season was one of tragedy. Few teams shoot for the stars so often, and fall so hard and so short of their expectations. Let's see if they do it again next year, shall we?

[meimi-haneoka]

For those who will scroll :Spoiler alert!

Do you think yuna kaito will be able to be brough back from the magical clock he trapped himself in

Hmmm I don't like how this is phrased, so let me explain why first:

Kaito isn't trapped in the pocket watch, if this is what you're thinking. The pocket watch was literally the magical artifact he used to make an exchange (by using the Exchange Card ) with the magical book that was engraved in Akiho's body (another kind of magic artifact). Rather, what we see spreading under Kaito's feet in the moment the Seal of D. is activated in chapter 70 is that same "book" that used to spread under Akiho when she went "berserk", when the "artifact" that took control of her was still inside of her. So it's more legit to think that he's been trapped inside that artifact (we do in fact see the pages seemingly folding up on him).

Also, another statement that kinda bugs me: Kaito didn't "trap himself".

Let's tell the story how it is: Kaito was literally cursed. The Magic Association placed the Seal of D. on him, acting as some kind of trap that would activate in case he dared doing anything to Akiho and the artifact engraved in her. "Doing anything" as in, using the artifact or try to mess with it in a way that they didn't approve of. Not that they cared any bit about Akiho herself. Kaito already knew, young as he was, that he wanted indeed to mess with that artifact, wanting to remove it from Akiho. He knew that one day, by accepting that seal on himself, he was going to trigger it.

And yet, that was the price he had to pay to leave that goddamned place with Akiho. They got his back against the wall: either you accept this curse, or you won't be allowed to travel with her. And he really needed to bring her out of there (and probably, he wanted to leave that place himself). So what else could he do, already disillusioned and not seeing any worth in his life? He accepted.

But he was cornered into it. He was a child himself (he doesn't look much older than Sakura and Syaoran themselves in this flashback), suffered from child abuse himself and the abusers decided to put this last curse on him, de facto condemning him to eternal imprisonement at the first wrong move. When you are cornered into a decision, you can't really say it genuinely came from you. Therefore, Kaito didn't "trap himself", he was imprisoned by others as the result of messing with the artifact. Then, I certainly think that the decision he made to take Akiho out of there and the fact he still accepted the Seal on himself was also an act of rebellion against a congregation of criminals that did nothing but use him at their convenience. This was the first, the very first, thing he ever did on his own accord. Still, if he had any choice, he wouldn't have probably chosen this.

Sorry for the long preamble but this is something that I particularly care about, I want to make sure Kaito's actions are read in a way that is coherent with what's shown in the story (and not always as a "whim" of a wicked character, as he often passes for).

Now, to reply to your question! I truly believe that Sakura, Syaoran and most importantly, Akiho will be able to bring Kaito back. Sakura and Syaoran will take care of the magical aspect (I know they said the Seal of D. cannot be dispelled even by a magician of class D, but Sakura is superior to that sh*t), while Akiho will take care of the emotional one. Because yes, everyone wants him to come back, but does he want to? No one can force him to come back if that isn't his wish. However, I'm absolutely sure that deep down he wants to keep living with Akiho too. He just wanted to save her and make her happy so badly that he had to go through with his plan, but the bond he created with her along the years was something he didn't expect nor accounted for, and it's what gave him conflicting feelings towards the end, before the play started. His painful faces when he talked about the play, the "hand" that outstretched towards her on its own, they were all symptoms of that conflict. Of his true wish. Now, he just needs to realize and understand it. And Akiho will be able to make him see that. But in order to reach that point, Sakura and Syaoran will need to free him from the Seal that is active on him first, and somehow take care of the shortened lifespan too (cause there's that too, unfortunately).

It's not gonna be easy, but I believe that after so much suffering, both for the readers (in Japan the darker development wasn't welcomed with the same enthusiasm everywhere in the fandom) and for the in-story characters themselves, the only thing CLAMP can do is to give relief through a complete happy ending. I don't want to imagine CCS in the future as the "CLAMP work that left scars on the fans" like other CLAMP stories, there are other series they can do that with but CCS is and has always been here to bring another message. A message of hope and kindness. CLAMP know that fully well so I'm confident they will give the right closure to this. The right closure means not only giving a happy ending to Sakura and Syaoran, already privileged (and I used this term in the most positive way possible) in their wholesome lives full of love, but to the abused and struggling characters too, whose intentions have never been malicious and just did their best to make their most important person happy.

[ldh-headcannon]

hello!! i love your works so much, ever since i got into the movies/shows a while back i've been searching desperately for h&l content and yours in the best i've seen so far! i was wondering, if you feel comfortable enough with this, could you write something of how murayama would react to his current s/o having an ex who was literally insane? like, if you've seen aib or strangers from hell, i'm talking niragi/munjo level crazy, murder and all. i just thought it would be kind of funny :')

So I actually wrote this up like a month and half ago, but I’ve just been too lazy to type it up. And I’m REALLY sorry about that! I didn’t make it like a funny kinda reaction. It became more of a comfort kinda feel. I hope that’s ok. 

And I honestly just don’t see Niragi or anyone close to as crazy as him letting their S/O go without there being consequences. So I want to just set a quick TRIGGER WARNING there are some mentions of death in this head cannon.

Other than that. I’m once again sorry for the wait on this one but I hope you enjoy.

Where to begin?

Well Murayama always knew that you had a rough time with your ex

He didn’t know how bad, since you don’t like to talk about it

But you did mention to him that it was a bad time ™ when you two first started dating 

So he tried his best to be patient with you

Which patience, as we all know, is NOT your man’s strong suit

But for you?

He is willing to put in the extra effort and care

He really wants to prove the fact that he wants to care of you and be there for you

He doesn’t push you to talk about your previous relationship

Don’t get me wrong, he’s very curious and will ask for details once in a while

But as soon as you start clamming up his whole being fills up with nothing but guilt

Well guilt and anger

How could anyone treat you so badly that you get so quiet and timid?

You who’s so perfect in Murayama’s eyes?

He holds you closer as he mutters words of frustration and annoyance as his head fills with the terrible things you possibly had to go through

You assure him that your ex never hurt you specifically

And that he had more of a habit of finding joy and excitement in hurting others and causing those others misery

You admit to Muruyama  how you have watched your ex beat people to within an inch of their lives as they just continued laughing the entire time

How you had to watch that same thing happen so many times you’ve lost count

And you just stayed cuz you were too scared to leave the relationship

He did that to complete strangers, you didn’t want to find out what he would do to someone he has feelings for

The only reason you were able to leave said relationship is cuz your ex lost their life after finally snapping and taking several others

And you had to witness the whole thing from your hiding spot

If it wasn’t for that one person to fight back and took away your ex’s last breath, you’d prolly still be with them, or maybe worse

You look up to Murayama after explaining all this, with tears brimming in your own eyes

But his face is almost stoic for the first time in the times that you’ve known him

He takes a deep breath before finally looking at you

“I’m gonna be honest. I wasn’t expecting them to be that sadistic. I can’t believe you had to go through all that for so long. But he’s gone. He can’t hurt anyone ever again. And I won’t let anyone even remotely close to his personality near you. I may be immature, and not the smartest when it comes to making you happy. But I promise I will do my absolute best to keep you here and safe. No matter how many crazies out there in the world try to prove me wrong.”

He will hold you for the rest of the night to just make sure his points sets in properly

                                         End

[namube]

hellooo there!! anth's (26, he/him, est) in your area! i'm really excited to be here and to introduce you to a muse who's really near to my heart, park namu (he/him, '03)! he's essentially a recreation of one of my most beloved muses, specially catered to this verse! i hope you all grow to love him as much as i love him! here you can find his about, here you can take a look at his pinterest, and here you can find some plots! without furtherado, let's get into park namu! if you'd like to plot, please like this post or feel free to im me!

i would just like to give a quick heads up that there is some triggers under the cut (and on namu's about page), these include car accident, parental death, ptsd, and injury! they're tagged accordingly, just in case you'd like to skip!

born on christmas day in 2003 in seoul to two young parents, who were still in college at the time of namu's birth.

this meant that he spent a lot of time with his family members, like grandparents, and that of the such. namu became really family oriented from a young age because of this - he's always been pretty close to his family.

due to a special moment of his mom's friends bringing her a small, decorated pine tree when they visited her after giving birth to namu, his parents decided to take namu (나무), meaning tree, from sonamu (소나무), meaning pine tree; a tree traditionally used for christmas, as his name.

when namu is four, his parents get their dream jobs, and they're finally able to live in a better apartment, and they kind of move to more of a fancy apartment, thanks to the jobs the two took on.

CAR ACCIDENT TW, PARENTAL DEATH TW // however, life took a turn for the worst when namu is six years old, and a car accident occurs, with him in the back seat. both of his parents pass from the accident, leaving namu the sole survivor, being pulled from the accident by bystanders. // END TW.

INJURY TW // he injured his leg pretty badly in the accident, causing him to be in a cast. later having to get physical therapy to get it back to the proper leg! he tends to suffer from a pain flare up in his right leg every now and then, but he usually just pushes through it - tending to hide it from those around him in someway because he doesn't want them to worry // END TW.

his uncle, hojoon, and his aunt, mihi, take over guardianship of namu. his uncle and aunt own a café, living in the two floor apartment above their successful café, in hongdae, mapo-gu, seoul.

PTSD, GRIEF TW // namu developed ptsd from the car accident, causing him these intense nightmares every now and then. sometimes even the sounds of smashing glass would cause him to have a ptsd episode. he would ultimately end up going to a therapist and grief counselor to help him. sometimes, he still struggles with his mental health and nightmares, but it's under control. // END TW.

other health is namu having an alcohol allergy. meaning he tends to have a terrible time with most foods, but will tend to pop allergy medication when he wants tteokbokki.

at some point, namu got really into music and singing. he would often sing a lot, run around singing, sing to himself, and all that type of stuff. his uncle and aunt picked up on it, but it wasn't until namu came to them that they put effort into getting him into music classes, most importantly vocal classes to really help him cultivate the vocals he was truly blessed with.

always did really well in school, got high marks. was often the class president/class representative because he was friends with everyone. a lot of people would tend to use that to their advantage though.

definitely got picked on too, though, due to being "so happy" and "so nice" all the time. also because sometimes he wouldn't eat in the cafeteria and would find somewhere to eat himself when his mental health would be making him feel kinda overwhelmed. this is something that he'll still do and that's probably when you know namu isn't feeling the best.

spent a lot of his time doing vocal classes and things of that nature, he never attended an after school academy - instead, he taught academics to himself in some kind of way. kind of just studied really hard, just so he didn't need it.

won a lot of talent/singing shows around seoul as a teenager, became rather known in that circle, especially for his voice.

he went on a variety show as a teenager as well, a singing show (think something like fantastic duo, the sistar episode lives in my head), that gathered himself some attention.

after the talent/singing shows and that variety show, he would often get casted by talent scouts. but, he always thought he was being scammed so he turned them down.

he has a youtube channel that he tends to upload to every now and then, maybe you could call him a youtuber, namu might not. but, he tends to upload song covers to that channel, as well as some of the vocal/talent competitions he's taken part of around seoul. check out namu's song forest on youtube!

he's known for his beastly vocals.

he really loves to sing, essentially does it pretty often, and is known to sing to himself whenever he's doing a task.

he attended yonsei university for like six months, but it just wasn't for him at all, so he ended up dropping out.

as a teenager, he gained two certifications - one in vocal training, as he got super into it throughout all the years that he's been in vocal classes himself and really studied, so he took the test! also attended barista school at night and got his certification in that, simply so he can help out at his uncle and aunt's café.

currently, namu works as a barista at his uncle and aunt's café! this is temporary, simply because he's trying to chase his dreams of becoming an idol. he uploads to his youtube channel every now and again, as well, especially because he has some more time.

namu can easily be described as bright, bubbly, happy, and sweet in a way; he's almost sickly sweet, bright, bubbly, and happy. he challenges the sun in that way and it's like sunshine follows behind him when he walks.

tends to hide his sadness and gloom because it's something that he feels from time to time, thanks to his mental health; but, he never wants to burden anyone with it, so he kind of just buries it in someway. perhaps, there's someway that you're able to tell that he's sad when you're close to him, but otherwise, he hides it.

there's not one mean bone in his body; who knows how that's possible, but namu doesn't know what that means!

i've always said if namu wasn't smart, he'd definitely be a himbo. he holds the himbo energy, 100%.

heart is too big for his chest really, he's someone who's also super caring and will always care about someone. tends to put others' before himself.

he can usually be seen with a big smile upon his lips. he's truly just always smiling.

honestly he's kind of just like a puppy, he's a soft boy in a harsh world, kind of scared of the world sometimes. he's a really big dreamer, believes in the stars, very into y2k stuff (lots of his wardrobe is y2k inspired.) likes big sweaters. really likes books, has a collection of books. loves plushies, has a collection of those as well. big foodie, big on cooking as well. can make a mean latte. he really likes "cozy" video games, such as stardew valley, animal crossing, disney dreamlight valley, house flipper, you see the theme!

he's not a big fan of cars or small spaces. elevators are something he's not a fan of, but he takes them because he usually just has to. at this point, namu just closes his eyes, stands in the back, and sings quietly to himself, pretending he was somewhere else. keeps his eyes closed until he's off the elevator - it's honestly a sight to see.

he's very big, super gay! just very very gay, and we love that for him.

he's a big, big fan of cherish and nana. has definitely gone to a few different cherish and nana concerts over the year. also really likes ri5e/ris3, lightspeed, starlie, and a.maze.

really hopes he gets the chance to be a trainee and debut as an idol (main vocalist), it's his biggest dream and he's working really hard towards it! ♡

[trxsh3banditt]

Unrequited Love (Schneeplebro fic)

Trigger/Content warning!!

This story contains some touching topics and maybe some that aren't written that well. But! The basics include the following

Overthinking/overbearing thoughts

One sided love

If I missed any please let me know in the comments! I will be sure to add it

The phone ran in the background as Henrik walked out of the kitchen to answer it. Calm music played in the background as he answered it, taking a deep breath before he spoke to whoever was on the other end of the call. "Hallo? How may I help you today?"

"Hey Henrik! I was wondering if I could ask something, if that's alright?" It was Chase, Henrik's best friend and at this point and time someone Henrik started to have intense feelings for. Henrik could feel his face heat up and his cheeks turn red. If it meant he could spend time with someone he was interested in then why not?

"J-Ja!" Henrik smiled to himself, but internally swore at his foolish stuttering and stammering over the phone. "Vhat did you need to ask me?" He could feel his heart beat faster in his chest as he listened and waited.

"I was wondering if we could go out for some coffee or lunch today if you aren't busy?" Chase spoke very calmly, creating butterflies in the doctor's stomach. "But if you are busy we don't have to go."

"N-No!" Henrik squeaked out, embarrassing himself and sighed before he spoke again. "I'm not busy at all, ve can go out for lunch today, on me!"

Chase chuckled on the other end of the call. "You're funny doc, you don't have to be so nervous around me." He said trying to be reassuring, but he didn't realize how much the German wanted so badly to have him stay in his life. "But yeah! We can go for lunch! I'll see you then Hen!" Chase said excitedly before hanging up, leaving a lovesick doctor.

"Maybe I might be able to finally tell him at lunch today..Marvin says I need to be open or I may nevah have zhis chance again.." Henrik sighed softly to himself as he put the phone in his pocket and went on with what he was doing beforehand, helping Jackie finally clean his laundry.

"Uhm..thanks Henrik..again for your help. I really appreciate it." Jackie says, as he fiddled with the cast on his arm which prohibited what he could do around the house. "I can't even thank you enough for letting me stay here since I got kicked out of my apartment."

"Oh it's no issue at all Jackie!" Henrik smiled and looked over at the hero next to him. " You needed a place to stay, and who vould I be as a friend to say nein to you?" He gently pats Jackie on the back and started the washer for him.

~Timeskip~(I'm sorry)

As Henrik got ready for the mini lunch date with Chase, wait, would it be considered a 'date'? Henrik pulled his phone out and proceeded to text Chase to let him know when he'd be there. 'Hey Chase, I'm ready whenever you are, so I'll be there in around five minutes!'

Henrik got his shoes tied and walked out, locking the door behind him. Once he got to the area the two decided to meet up he noticed Chase talking to Marvin. He didn't want to pry so he waited patiently till the two were done speaking before he spoke to Chase. They didn't seem to notice Henrik being there as Marvin decided to ask a big question.

"So Chase, you interested in anybody?" Marvin said while taking a sip of an iced coffee he had in his hands. He glanced at Chase and smiled. Henrik couldn't help but start to listen to their conversation and find out if Chase did have a love interest.

"I guess so, but I don't think they feel the same way about me Marv. Kinda scared to tell them." Chase responded sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Whoo~? Who is it?" Marvin giggled. "Male? Female? Any other gender?"

"It's uhm..actually a girl I met at the skatepark a few months ago." Chase smiled.

Henrik felt like his heart had been shattered in to a hundred tiny pieces hearing those words. He didn't say a word and walked back to his car where he began to break down sobbing heavily. He started the engine back up and left, leaving the area but had no courage to text Chase and cancel the plans. He didn't want Chase to think he was eavesdropping on his conversation. But he also didn't want to make Chase feel like he wasted his time so he decided to text Chase at the last red light he got to.

'Chase, I apologize but something came up, I won't be able to come. I really am sorry.'

When Henrik sent the message he waited impatiently for at least Chase to see the message or respond in any way. He turned his phone off after five minutes only to feel the buzz of a notification. Quickly looking at the message he felt his heart ache more.

'Oh, that's fine. Someone from the skatepark came by and asked if I wanted to go skating with them! It's funy cause I actually feel like she gets me more than anyone. If you want to reschedule for sometime this week let me know Hen!'

Henrik powered off his phone without a response. It was clear now that Chase did not have feelings for him, and it hurt to realize it. Henrik went to his room and locked himself inside, to cry. Henrik curled up in the corner, hugging himself. While he sat there his mind was filled with overwhelming thoughts, thoughts of how he'd never be able to have Chase and how he'd never love someone. Henrik knew they were true. He hated how they were true, but he knew he'd never have someone as nice as Chase. Just what he didn't like was how much having a crush this much was so painful. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he stayed curled up on the floor. This is what heartbreak felt like isn't it. Even if Chase didn't know it, this feels worse. His eyes began to close, becoming tired from crying so much; Henrik fell asleep on the floor, curled up in a ball.

[trans-wojak]

Question for other autistics and ADHDers who don’t self medicate and/or use medication - how do you do it? I have PTSD so maybe that’s affecting shit too but I seriously feel like my autism & adhd symptoms are so bad now that I can’t cope without alcohol or weed. Like I fully support using weed medically but I’m not using it medically, I can do without it but I legit just hardcore smash cone after done if I have weed. It also interacts with my OCD, I start counting the cones and if they weren’t done “right” I have to have another one until it’s right. I also count all my drinks and I have to keep having them once I start. I can’t seem to pace myself when I use anymore but I also can’t cope long without it. Especially because my anti depressants are so fucking high now that they trigger hypomania but I can’t lower them without getting micro seizures. It’s honestly a fucking whack experience, I look back on how I used to be and I realise I was always kinda depressed and disinterested with being alive. I feel so traumatised from school. People will never say they hate autistic people but they do, they are so mean to us. I feel like I’m constantly masking when I’m around people and it’s so draining. I always feel like I’m running ActLikeANormalPerson in my brain when I socialise cause of constant rejection and bad experiences. Both my parents are also autistic but they are undiagnosed and in denial. My mums own internalised ableism has affected my upbringing. When I got bullied really badly in high school, I ended up starting to refuse to speak, I refused to go to school. Then I changed schools and my mum was telling me tips on how to mask but the way she did it was so damaging to my self esteem. She was basically blaming me for exposing my “weirdness” instead of pretending and masking, cause she has been so brainwashed to perform it. Now she’s so burned out and depressed from masking her whole life and her emotional neediness now overwhelms now but also she can hurt me emotionally. And it’s usually out of the blue in a discussion that she says something that hurts me or she points out I talk about the same things over and over like it’s a bad thing, it actually hurts cause i realise it’s annoying but it’s an expression of affection. My mum will listen to my autistic brother’s special interests all day even though she understands none of it but when I talk about special interests that I know she also knows about, she always seems to get bored or point it out to me. But Jake doesn’t get that lol.

[dreamweavers]

I think I posted abt this once before, but I like to watch supernatural when I'm high. when I get high I tend to overanalyze whatever I watch and go "THIS is the BEST THING ever made!" (I also do this with SpongeBob and Beavis and Butthead lmao)

last time I got high, me and my brother finished s5 and started s6 of supernatural and. wow. I live tweeted it AND bitched abt it in my notes app so here everything is all together:

Still kinda high and watching s6e1 and this is so fucking stupid it's unreal wtf. I keep waiting for them to say this isn't actually happening bc this is so garbage

Usually when I'm high I think this show rules but rn I'm feeling the exact opposite, this is dog shit. worse than dog shit. this is worse than when the flash turned to shit this is just ridiculous. I bet half the fanfics for this series are better than this out of char garbage

[supernatural season 6 wiki page) implies this isn't just a stupid dream sequence? You are kidding me. The first five seasons were good for a CW show and I've watched the flash, arrow, shitty arrowverse crossovers, and riverdale so I know!

There is no fucking way Sam would go "I got my car set up how I want it" after looking at the impala triggered so many memories that it made Lucifer think of how badly he wanted that brotherly relationship with Michael, made Lucifer feel so awful that Sam was able to take control back from him. There is absolutely no way in hell. This is the worst fucking episode of any TV show in the history of television this has got to be a fucking joke.

if the next ep is as bad and out of character as this one, this is the worst I've ever seen a show fall off. Worse than when the flash fell off, worse than when TWD fell off, worse than literally any other form of media I can think of has jumped the shark. IK I'm high but FICK

yeah [finding out supernatural was originally supposed to end after 5 seasons] tells me all I need to know. usually shows are still watchable after they jump the shark but holy hell this was something else. I was expecting the quality to falter and then eventually go off the deep end like the flash did but that was so SUDDEN jfc!

alright since I'm talking abt it, last year I watched the flash totally sober and although I noticed the quality beginning to dip (arrowverse shows in general have questionable quality but it was still watchable), like I didn't rly care for the cicada villains but I loved Nora. and then after the crisis special it got SO BAD. like all those other multiverses are just gone? Really? Jessi and Harry are just GONE? Became unwatchable shit.

so uh. yeah there's my high rant about supernatural.

[empty-benches]

smth abt recovery

(small ed tw ⚠️ //mostly talking abt the positives of my recovery w some references to my past experiences which may be triggering (no #s mentioned dw)- also it's kinda long my bad)

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it's been a while since i've talked abt my past struggles w an ed or recovery but i thought i might just bc of how far ive come- like every recovery there's gonna be ups and downs, but after almost 2yrs of being in recovery i've managed to come a long way, and im proud of myself bc i never thought i would recover at all tbh

i've always loved to cook and bake and it's sm more fun when i can make and experiment cooking new recipes that i can fully enjoy and not the extreme lowcal bs (it doesn't taste good ikyk 😔😔). it's a passion and i only want to learn more now that im not so limited

also i have sm more energy than i used to- dw im still an adhd burnout but i never realized how much of a difference eating had on ur energy and mood until i started recovering. plus i started to be able to feel my feelings again, the good and the bad. but i think its worth it to take the risk of crashing and burning than to not be able to experience how much good there really is in the world. there are some amazing things to feel and experience in life if u only let yourself open up and actually feel them

and i'm so so glad to be over the internalized fatphobia i had going on too. getting over internal biases takes time but is well worth it. i may of not thought or acted badly towards fat ppl, but part of the ed i'm recovering from was the fear of being seen as fat myself- which there is absolutely nothing wrong with being. you should be able to be happy and confident in whatever shape or size your body comes in. we have this one life and you can do whatever you want really, don't let anyone (including urself😤) make you miserable over something as unimportant as your size. there's sm more to life than that

but hey this is just my experience,, and for me im never looking back from recovery- its done me sm good. also i know at the end of the day,, eds are a coping mechanism- even if its a really terrible one. if you are struggling thou, im sorry for what youre going through, pls just try to get through today, appreciate all the little things that bring you joy, let your feelings rise through you like smoke and find yourself some ways to let them out

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thx for reading if you did lol, bit of a longer post here but i hope you have a good day- here's to 2yrs of recovery and to many yrs to come✌🏽

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