#look i'm having feelings about this okay

[a-pigeons-soliloquy]

saw some gifs and now i'm thinking about the way hannibal listens to music with his whole body

whether it's swinging his head to follow a crescendo or simply swaying as he plays the harpsichord, music is almost a religious experience for him, and he doesn't just hear the music - he feels it with his very being

but we only see him allow himself to experience it in this way when he's completely alone

because he knows that reacting in such a way isn't considered 'normal' by general society, and especially not by the high society he tends to surround himself with, who all seem to believe that music should be enjoyed politely, solemnly, emptily.

so he forces himself to stay still in public events, lets the music wash over him instead of through him. it's still wonderful, and he can often move a finger surreptitiously with the rise and fall of the music regardless of his surroundings, but it's nothing compared to when he can allow himself to feel the music within him.

he has his own box at his favourite theatre - a perk of being one of their most generous patrons - and here he can feel more free to move with the music. still, however, the box does not guarantee complete privacy, and so he doesn't always feel he can utilise it the way he'd like.

this is all to say that the only place that hannibal can truly listen to music is in his own home, and so now imagine a scene after the fall:

will walks past hannibal's office, and as he glances through the crack in the door his eyes catch sight of hannibal lost in the music flowing out of the room, body swaying, feet tapping, head nodding and hands moving as if to conduct an invisible orchestra. there is a classical piece playing on the antique gramophone they'd picked up one morning at a local market; one will has vaguely heard before but can't name. he doesn't think much on it, however, as the small smile on hannibal's face is the most genuinely joyful expression that will has ever seen on his face. never before has he witnessed hannibal more at ease and content than at this moment, and the beauty of it stops him in his tracks.

he feels so honoured to have seen hannibal in this state, though he's also struck by the creeping sense that he's seen something that wasn't for his eyes. something that even now, after everything they've been through together, hannibal hasn't yet felt comfortable sharing with will.

and so he slowly backs away, traitorous eyes still trained on hannibal as his head sweeps upwards with the climax of the music

and maybe hannibal doesn't see him. maybe he's so absorbed in the music that he doesn't notice will as he moves past the doorway, and will keeps the memory locked away in the depths of his mind palace, safe in a small room with a gramophone where he can return when he wants to feel at peace.

but maybe hannibal does. maybe not even the music can cover the creak of the floorboards as will backs away, and all of a sudden hannibal's motions cease, eyes opening and staring at will, face unusually open and vulnerable before a neutral mask quickly snaps over it. for a long moment there is a tense and fragile silence, filled with unspoken questions, until will finally asks what the piece of music is called.

after a moment of hesitation hannibal tells him, and soon they are sat together, hannibal explaining the story of the piece and how the composition tells it, his hands dancing through the air to demonstrate his points, while will nods and listens and, after a little while, understands.

seemingly without his noticing, hannibal starts to sway again, and his eyes flutter closed, and will stares at him, completely and utterly in love, before his own eyes slip closed and he sways to the music with hannibal, the two of them swept away in a sea of music together.

[attleboy]

little doodle to celebrate going into 2024!!! 🎉 idk what's coming but may we make the best of it :D

[aterfish]

I'm not ever careful and I can be rude, yeah

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

[spacedace]

Had a thought about the Reluctant War and made myself a bit sad and I have no idea if it'll make it into the story proper so I'm going to inflict it upon all you guys:

Dick Grayson on the streets of Gotham trying to do everything he can to help as everyone join the ghosts in fighting the GIW, suddenly has a version of the GAV barreling down towards him and for some reason he can't get out of the way in time.

He thinks he's about to join the army of the dead in a whole new way, when the tank fo a vehicle is suddenly sent flying as something massive charged it from the side. He hears a familiar bellowing and then realizes that it's Zitka, a ghost after passing away peacefully a few years before.

She wasn't apart of the army of the ghosts, wasn't brought in to fight. She's just been following her tiny human child around all these years and now that there's enough ecto in the air to do so, she's going to protect him with all her might.

Dick is emotional, so thankful to have his old friend back, but the city is still in a state of chaos. He gets onto Zitka's back and they get to work, running - flying - around helping to grab the injured and whisk them away to safety or take out other GAVs and the like.

It's absurd and freeing and wonderful all at once to be literally flying through the skies of Gotham on the ghost of his elephant best friend, and if Dick wasn't already on the side of King Phantom he is *now* and -

He gets shot off Zitka's back.

A GIW agent was aiming for the Ghost elephant but somehow *missed* and hit Dick instead. Not enough to injure him too badly, but enough to send him flying off Zitka's back and plummeting to the ground. His grapple is broken, and Zitka is diving for him but she's being shot at and she's not going to make it in time and -

A hand, reaching out to him in midair, familiar with its callouses and strong grip as he reaches out and grasps it, body suddenly swinging in a different direction and muscles acting on memory as he falls into the old, achingly familiar routine of his childhood. His mother, ethereal and bright as she smiles down at him, hanging upside down from a bar suspended from nothing but open sky as they swing and he is let go, flipping on instinct and caught by the steady strong hands of his father.

The Flying Graysons reunited in the skies above Gotham, Dick's ghostly parents determined to ensure their little bird never falls the way they did.

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

[arthursfuckinghat]

There needs to be a scientific study done on how Rockstar Games' Arthur Morgan is able to provoke the most earth shattering emotions I didn't even know I had in me

[aroaceleovaldez]

Here is a link to the Cherokee Nation's official site. Here is the Visit Cherokee Nation youtube channel. Here is a playlist for learning Cherokee (and here's one for learning Ojibwe, as a bonus cause i'm biased). Here is a link to Daybreak Star Radio, which is a radio station based in Seattle dedicated to showcasing international first nations and indigenous music that you can listen to online. Here is a pdf of various recipes, including references to which tribes they originate from. Here is a link to The-aila-test's buy native tag, and here is a link to Beyond Buckskin's buy native list (though some of the links are broken). Here is a link to the Cherokee Phoenix newspaper's official site.

now go take a minute and come back once you've done some research so everybody can stop being weird about Piper.

[celebrate-lesbianism]

Butch Self-Esteem

Sometimes feeling good about yourself is an uphill battle when you are butch. I often feel like I am not enough by anyone's standards. All of the insecurities I have about my body (being short, curvy, too soft) are confirmed by other people on the internet when they run butches down, call us ugly gremlins, 2/10s, compare us to men, etc.

I'm tired and I've had enough, so here are some things that I've been doing to build myself back up:

I refuse to make self-deprecating jokes anymore.

When I say something bad about myself in my head, I must say something positive to counter it.

I follow people who look like me on TikTok and notice positive attributes we have in common.

Before leaving the house, I say one good thing about how I look.

When I find myself sizing myself up against someone else, I remember that person has insecurities too and that we can look different and both still look good.

I exercise and make good choices for my body.

I spend quality time with people who make me feel good about myself.

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

[juniperleafdelivery]

[sojourner-between-worlds]

You know what, no, I'm not done talking about this because the symbolism is god tier.

Yusei starts out as a Satellite. In essence, a fake star. Anyone who knows anything knows that when you look up at the night sky, the brightest objects are planets and satellites. They look like stars, but they aren't stars. They are man-made to serve a purpose, and when they wear out, they are easily replaced, the offline ones left to float around as space junk for the rest of time.

But Yusei's not a fake. He's the real deal.

He breaks out of Satellite and earns the moniker "Satellite's Shooting Star". But the thing about shooting "stars" is that they still aren't really stars at all, and worse yet, they burn out so quickly they barely exist for a moment in time. This is what was expected for him, too: he could have stayed where he was, a man-made object with a given purpose, but because he decided that wasn't good enough, he was going to get his moment to shine but then burn out into nothing.

But Yusei isn't a shooting star, either. He's not burning out.

No, he was just getting started.

He pulls other people to himself with all the force of a black hole yet without destroying any of them. (Well, except for one. One who willingly allowed himself to be destroyed to allow Yusei to shine all the brighter.) He gathers them and the future is so bright that there is nothing else to see and you get this sense that, even though you don't know what will happen, anything is possible.

Yusei's not a satellite. He's the real deal.

And he's not a shooting star. He's not burning out.

He's a quasar. He's creating endless possibilities.

[uncanny-tranny]

If I'm honest, the whole "love in every stitch" saying for fiber artists does not apply to me, like. I'm trying to get this fucking hook into stubborn yarn and I'll be stabbing it like it owed me money. Is that love because I hope not 😭💀

[secondhanddragon]

seriously hate how baring your teeth just looks so stupid on a human mouth, how can I truly express my anger without beautifully pointed teeth

[varilien]

it doesn’t matter how heavy your cross to bear is; you can still smile!

[salty-dracon]

the mere existence of harue shigima paranormasight absolutely flies in the face of every piece of 2012-2016 feminist discourse arguing that “you can’t write a compelling self-sacrificial housewife character” or that “housewives are antifeminist” because it subverts 0 tropes and relegates women away from the public eye and makes them only child managers. and i LOVE that about her

not only is she an important character within the narrative of paranormasight, including the most important character in her side of the story because you’re playing from her point of view, but it is HER choice to resurrect her son, no matter the cost. it is 100% her choice, and you hear that from her point of view. in fact both ayame and richter argue it at the end of her route, and they’re totally right that harue is ultimately being selfish. harue may be driven by grief and anger, but it’s 100% her grief and anger, not given to her by anyone else.

she doesn’t lack agency because she’s a housewife either. she’s more than willing to commit murder under her own set of conditions, if that’s what you call agency, and her movements aren’t restricted by anyone. richter himself pretty much does whatever she tells him to, with his role being the investigation ability needed for the operation.

and there is so much depth to her. there’s a total apathy for everything, and a dislike for her own home. wouldn’t you be hollow inside if there was only one person in the world you truly loved, and it was taken away from you by a murderer? beyond that apathy is grief for her loss, and anger for the one who killed her son, and selfishness and yes, her choice to sacrifice herself if necessary for the sake of her son. still, it’s not all negative. she has fun watching richter horse around with kids, for instance. her point of view shows you so much about her personality, and it reflects the thoughts of a person, not the thoughts of a throwaway housewife.

basically, i support women’s wrongs, but there’s so much depth to those wrongs and i’d be doing a disservice if i didn’t point out that she is an amazing character before those wrongs.