#okay hiding sappy stuff in the tags

[attleboy]

little doodle to celebrate going into 2024!!! 🎉 idk what's coming but may we make the best of it :D

[irisintheafterglow]

hello!!! i saw your that your requests were open so i was wondering if you were able to write a hurt/comfort zoro x reader story about how the reader gets injured from a fight, but they don’t wanna be a burden so they hide it until they collapse on deck :)))

tell me that we’ll be just fine (opla!zoro x you)

wc: 1.74k

cw/tags: hurt/comfort with happy sappy ending, swearing, canon-typical violence, descriptions of blood and injury, mentions of drinking and alcohol, zoro just loves you and you worry the shit out of him

note: yassss i love hurt/comfort injury prompts (it's the innate desire to just be carried and be vulnerable and have someone care in my weakest hour and and and and) hope you like this, thank you for your request !!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

“Guys, I am about to get so wasted.”

“We still have that good shit from Baratie, yeah?”

“Hiding in the back of the cellar, baby!” A loud smack rings out into the harbor as Usopp and Sanji’s hands clap together, deliriously excited after winning a scrimmage with a rival crew. Their proud vocalizations are added to by their captain and devolve into giddy skipping down the remainder of the dock as you make your way back to the ship. Zoro walks just ahead of you, glancing back every so often like he was worried you would collapse. You were planning to, but not now. Just get to the ship. Get to the ship and we’ll be fine.

“I vote Zoro for vomit duty tomorrow morning,” Nami mutters next to you, nudging your arm with her elbow. It’s a light touch but it feels like the world tilts sharply and you pray she can’t see the panic in your eyes when you try to remain upright. Despite her best efforts to remain mature and indifferent, her eyes were sparkling with self-assurance that you only saw from her when she felt a mission went well. She carries the folder of coveted Marine intelligence under one arm, her other hand holds up a bag of goodies you’d snatched from the base that would make good money down the line. “Plus, it gives us some time to take our share of this stuff. Nice finds, by the way. I’m impressed.” 

“Thanks. I learned from the best,” you reply, relief flooding you when she turns back to watch her idiot crewmates and not further inspect the limp in your step. Zoro’s eyes meet yours over his shoulder and you give him a strained smile, well aware that you probably looked like you’d crawled out of hell. When he turns away again, you exhale with great difficulty, fighting off another wave of nausea that threatens to send you stumbling into the water. It’s just a flesh wound, you figure. No need to halt their celebration just because you got a silly cut. “What’s your first pick out of the bag?”

“There’s a pretty little jeweled chalice I was looking at,” she says casually. The waning afternoon sun makes her hair look like a fire, bright and warm. “We could scrape off the rubies and pawn them at the next island.”

“Or, you could drink water from it and look like a pompous asshole.” Just keep it casual. Be normal. The pulse in your ears becomes slightly faster when you notice the foggy spots in your vision. “Freeze some of the diamonds from that candlestick and use them as ice cubes.”

“Very true,” she laughs and you force out a chuckle to mirror her, wincing at the aching pain in your side. Her eyebrows furrow and her mouth falls into a frown. Your attempts to seem fine were starting to fall through. “Hey, are you okay? You’ve been walking a little slower than usual.” 

“I’m fine, I promise. I just got punched in the gut a little harder than I anticipated,” you lie straight through your teeth, well aware that it wasn’t just a fist that had you losing enough blood to fill the galley sink. To be fair, the guy’s second blade appeared out of nowhere. You were outnumbered five to one but still held your own; only when there was a single fighter left did he resort to cutthroat tricks. One minute, you’re parrying with ease; the next, a small dagger pops out from the fighter’s left sleeve, cutting a deep wound into your side before you can block it with the saber in your right hand. It was a dirty move and you mentally kicked yourself for not anticipating foul play much sooner. To make matters worse, you were only able to staunch the blood so much before Zoro found you in the courtyard. Though you sufficiently covered your injury, he was still eyeing you like he knew that something was off. Like clockwork, every minute he was checking on you. It was wordless, but you still knew he was inspecting you, waiting for you to reveal that something happened and that you needed help.

That moment came the instant your boots met the wood of the deck. 

In seconds, your vision violently careens to the right and you’re conscious just enough to expect the thud of your head against the floor. But, the crash never comes. When you fall, your mind registers another body that you fall into, strong and stable. One arm slips effortlessly under your exhausted legs, lifting you from the ground while the other supports your upper back. Your eyes blur the image of your panicked crew like an oil painting, smearing it every which way until the colors are bleeding together more uncontrollably than the blood dripping from your side. Everything sounds like you’re drowning, rising above the water for a moment only to be pulled back down into murky disorientation. 

“Idiot,” a low voice says. It’s wrought with worry, even though you can tell they’re trying not to hide it. It’s clear enough that you know it’s coming from whoever is holding you. “Why the hell did you wait?” You’re barely able to distinguish far-off shouting from Sanji, ordering Luffy and Usopp to grab his knives. But, if all three of them were over there and Nami was throwing open cabinets looking for the med kit, that means the person holding you was… “Fuck. I knew something was wrong.” You have half the mind to articulate a weak response, but it comes out as nothing more than a groan when you’re placed onto what feels like the galley counter. The pounding in your forehead starts to become airy, like when you’re walking down the sidewalk after a night of drinking until you were on the verge of passing out. Zoro doesn’t let you go, though. His calloused fingers gently brush the dirt from your face, quietly pleading for you to stay with me, stay with me, stay with me. “You’re okay. We’re okay. Just stay with me.” 

“They’re losing a lot of blood and I can’t find the damn med kit.” 

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Above deck, having a collective panic attack.” Nami’s voice sounds like it’s coming from miles away. 

“Figures.” Zoro’s, on the other hand, is the only thing keeping you rooted and stopping you from drifting off. It’s sharp and strained, nothing like you’d ever heard from him before. Sanji’s lanky steps enter the kitchen and you hear the zip of his knife bag somewhere close to your ear.

“This is bad; I need to stop that bleeding or they might–” Zoro’s grip on your hand is tight, physically holding you down to reality. Whether you laced your fingers in his or the other way around, you didn’t remember.

“Well, let’s fucking do something about it then, waiter,” is the last thing you hear before darkness wipes your vision. 

Your eyes blink open after what feels like seconds, but the starry sky outside the window tells you it had been hours. It takes a moment for the details to come back to you, as does the soreness where they must have patched up your wound. The hard stone of the counter has been replaced by your bed and the comforting sway of the ship tells you Luffy ordered the ship to depart. It’s healing, in a way, the rocking back and forth motion of the ship that reminds you how close you were to slipping away. After a minute, you muster up enough energy to look at the rest of your room and you can’t help smiling when you see Zoro sitting at your bedside, tensely sleeping with the Wado Ichimonji laid across his lap. His eyes fly open when you whisper his name, delicately setting his blade on the floor before crouching at your side. 

“You’re okay,” he breathes and it sounds more like a reassurance for himself than for you.

“I’m okay,” you confirm just as softly, threading your fingers between his and squeezing lightly. He squeezes back, looking at you like you painted the constellations outside your window. “How long have you been here?”

“Since Sanji and Nami fixed you up, about six hours ago.”

“You’ve been sitting there for six hours?”

“I would have sat longer. I’d wait for you, no matter how long you slept,” he says and it sounds like a vow. “You scared the shit out of me, you know that?”

“Sorry,” you apologize weakly, giving him as much of a shy smile as you could. He rolls his eyes in exasperation but can’t help the corner of his mouth quirking too. “I didn’t want to bother you all while you were celebrating.”

“You really think I’m going to give alcohol priority over you?”

“Depends on the alcohol,” you point out and he shakes his head at your teasing. Your hand fits in his like a puzzle piece and you’re struck by the overwhelming feeling of safety you have whenever Zoro’s around. “But, really. I’m sorry for worrying you.” 

His eyes darted to the side like you’d said something that embarrassed him. The only thing he could think to do in that moment was bring your hand to his lips and press the lightest kiss to it. A promise that he’d always take care of you. He never was the best with words, you realized in your friendship-borderline-relationship with him. The things you said tended to short-circuit his brain and it was fascinating to watch him try and think of a coherent response. In times like these, however, when he’s simply unable to find the words for how much he feels for you, his actions are infinitely louder. 

“You should go back to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up. Do you need anything before you rest? Water or blankets or something?”

“No, just you. If you got in here with me, I wouldn’t mind,” you suggest nonchalantly and you giggle when his face becomes pinker. He obliges, though, slipping into the covers with you and carefully pulling you into him until you’re pressed against his chest like your own personal heater. His breathing is slow and steady, but you swear you can hear his heartbeat racing. “You’re the only one I’ll ever need, I think.”

“Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart. Just don’t do stupid shit like get stabbed again.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[bruciemilf]

bestie how do u think the batfam reacts to wonderbat

- quinsly

*INHALES AGRESSIVELY* WONDER MOM WONDER MOM WONDER MOM-

Dick:

SO HAPPY for Bruce but constantly teases; " If his crippling control issues aren't a deal breaker, his music taste will be" and Diana just kinda tilts her head like a puppy in her MCR shirt and is like " I love them! They sound tragic"

Absolutely gives Diana tips and advice on how to woo Bruce; He's not sure how you can improve WONDER WOMAN, but he's flattered she thinks he's the man for the job

Just excited to brag to the titans, " Well, she's not KORI but you know; Not everyone's as lucky as me"

Jason:

HELLO?! HELLOOOOO? Jason is losing his mind obvi. He has no idea how Bruce pulled it off (He does know; His father is honest, quietly kind, brave in a way thats terrifying and stupid, and infuriatingly endearing. Plus he's big on justified violence, which women always find attractive)

Is. So so so shy around Diana at the beginning. Hiding behind Bruce or Alfred (even Dami, one time), not exchanging more than a few words (usually very quick and unintelligible) before running off

This leads to Diana thinking Jason doesn't like her and she wants to talk about this, because, young warrior my heart is with your father; I don't need your permission, but I'd like to know why you dislike me :(

Jason just pulls up his sleeve, shows his wonder woman tattoo with a blank face, says " I love you so much I had a crush on you since I was 6, but I want you to be my mom. Not mommy. That'd be weird." and power walks away, looking for the nearest highway

Finds his childhood slingshot and points it directly between Bruce's eyes " Make like Beyonce and put a ring on it"

Damian:

Respects Diana a lot but will always prefer Talia; Diana isn't bothered by that and finds Damians loyalty to his mama so adorable, " Good sons make good men ^_^ good job" "... please don't do that. You're giving me positive emotions and I'm not build for those."

Demands a duel for " The privilege to court my father. Woman or Goddess, you must prove your worth" but it's the equivalent of a puppy playing tag with an angry kitten

She takes him out for ice cream and he spills about Bruce being a sappy bastard when talking about her sjsjsjs

Tim, Cass,Duke, and Steph

Tim and Steph making " you can do better" jokes @ Diana but no one's allowed to agree; I feel like Steph is just as much of a fangirl as Jason is and she fainted when she found Diana in their kitchen, watching Bruce make pancakes, OBVIOUSLY a " we spent the night together" breakfast

Tim and Diana bond over sharing embarassing Bruce stories and I NEED Diana to be the old lady who can't figure out technology

Can she punch a crater in the middle of new York and make you sweat with merely dissaproving look? Yes. Does she need to call Tim everytime to change her profile picture and look for stuff on YouTube? Yes

Diana and Duke PUPPY FRIENDSHIP! Diana reassuring Duke that she knows what alienation and loneliness feels like, and it's not a pain he has to deal with on his own

" You're enough; You've always been enough. And your father and family love you dearly, - you're the light that keeps us out of darkness. Be proud of that"

Cass and Diana but it's the " when you're a queen and you meet another queen and you talk about battle strategies" meme <333 legends recognise legends

Cass thinks she's the coolest ever, but, " What you do to him? I do to you." Without a hint of fear; There's a collective agreement around the ground. Diana smiles. She'll fit in just okay

[emry-stars-art]

Regarding the incredible royal AU (THAT I LOVE SO MUCH ALREADY🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡) If that’s okay I would love to hear more about andreil and what happens next? Maybe about them becoming official (like official official- being recognised as a prince and his betrothed/ husband(?)) (I guess it depends if in your AU people officially recognise gay relationships (hopefully they do? :D) and just the overall reactions to that event or maybe like the scene of one of them proposing to the other (I don’t really know about engagements in history, do you need to properly court somebody? Or do you just give them a ring and ask?)

This is getting long and you don’t need to answer or anything but I just wanted to say I absolutely adore the way u draw the characters and their poses and interactions and I always love your additions like headcanons and notes and stuff (it’s honestly thrilling to read I can’t stop I love it so much)🥰🥹❤️❤️❤️ Hope you have a good day!!

Hello!! First thank you so much you’re so kind to come here and say all these things 🥹💕

As for andreil becoming official - I think yes. When I do royal aus I wouldn’t necessarily call the universe/world “queer normative” because the higher in station you go, the more true “straight until proven otherwise” holds - no one frowns on gay relationships and the setting is perfectly accepting, they just kind of… expect their rulers to be straight for bloodline convenience and all that 🤷 and it’s not like Andrew is trying to be subtle either, he keeps his relationships and ‘affairs’ to himself well but once he actually takes a liking to Abram he’s not really trying to hide it (case in point: here). He just lets the rumors about his sexuality spread and hopes he won’t have to make a big deal about coming out.

The really really fun part about universes like this is that we can kind of make up the traditions to be whatever we want! I love love love the idea of courting, I think it’s got great possibilities (and I’m so certain Aaron courting Katelyn was like the floweriest, cutest thing ever omg) so I’d love to make Andrew actually commit to courting Abram 😂 But like in canon where Andrew and Neil (and this is only a widely accepted head canon) don’t make a big deal about a proposal and wedding, probably having a tiny wedding or just going to the courthouse - Prince Andrew doesn’t make it a grand, super special thing like King Aaron and Katelyn wanted to. He picks the parts he likes and makes sure he meets all the basic expected requirements (because I want SO BADLY for Andrew to secretly be a sap, he likes the romantic stuff he just doesn’t like making it public) and then when Abram wants to, they get married and Abram becomes whatever title is next in line after prince. Duke? I don’t remember right now but yeah to avoid confusion/political issues he is not technically also considered a prince.

The people as a general rule love this, people like parties and they like celebration and a wedding is both of those and the prince seems happy so that’s as good as it’s gonna get. No one’s going to be able to say Abram doesn’t make them a tiny bit wary because let’s be real. Abram’s nature before you get to know him can be off putting. But that’s the only real thing anyone would have against their marriage.

ANYWAY. god there’s so many ways it could go, so many little things and fun possibilities to consider when you think about an Abram/Andrew courtship and SINCE WE GET TO MAKE UP THE RULES?? If you guys start putting courtship ideas in the tags and replies I might melt omg 😭🥰 sappy Andrew, Abram picking up on it when he realizes how much Andrew likes it (the only thing he’s actually sappy about is making Andrew blush and making him feel special in ways that aren’t just because of his station), parts they put on for show and the little cute things they do for each other when no one else is there… AUGH

Yeah to answer your question: the people are surprised but cool with a gay prince, they think his fiancé’s a little spooky but whatever, and andreil court at Andrew’s pace and get married when Abram is ready and everyone is happy :D

[peachy-wolfhard]

He’s an asshole but he’s MY asshole (VII)

A/N: oh lord it’s here...my baby’s all done :,), i promise im gonna write more ben stuff, reader wasnt adopted by reggie but lives with the sparrows bc superpowers, more ben and five stuff will be coming soon...

Taglist at the bottom, feel free to ask to be tagged in upcoming parts!

Warnings: violence, swearing, joking about Reggie wanting them dead, reader gets a gut stab, klaus comes back to life, talks of bashing brains in, Five’s arm gets cut off, cockroaches, Reginald hurts the reader, blood, character death

Word Count: 3.2k

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 6

reader and Ben are teenagers in the flashback, sorry if the last guardian’s weapon is wrong lol

     Flashback

     The mission alarm sounds, pulling you from your peaceful nap. Really? Can’t these people not commit a crime when I’m trying to nap? Getting up from your boyfriend's bed, you walk down the hall as fast as your still sleepy self can trying to get to your bedroom to change into your mission suit. In your room, you throw on your suit and zip up your boots while Ben bangs on your closed door and yells to hurry up. “Okay, I’m ready asshole,” you say throwing the door open with a smile. “You should've been ready earlier,” he says, grabbing your hand and dragging you down the hallway, the stairs, and finally out the door. Walking down the street with Ben, Alphonso, and Chris, toward the bank where a robbery with hostages. Reginald said that the others could stay back because it wouldn't be a hard job to handle and that the four of you could use some help with working together. Pogo did not like this plan stating that too many things could go wrong with there only being four of you but Reggie ignored him. “Maybe he just doesn't like us,” Alphonso jokes with you. “Yeah, maybe he wants us gone because we’re so annoying. But that doesn't explain--” “Y/n, please take this seriously,” Ben interrupts you and Alphonso’s jokes before you all walk up the steps to the bank and make your grand entrance.

     “You four have thoroughly disappointed me. Do you call that a mission? You four were utter buffoons making the Sparrow Academy look like amateurs,” Reginald lectures you in the living room. “And now look what happened to your brother and ‘boyfriend’ is hurt. Can you explain yourself?” he continues making you increasingly annoyed. “He wouldn't be hurt if you would've listened to Pogo and let the entire team go,” you exclaim at the old man. Getting off the sofa you go to the infirmary to check on Ben. Knocking on the wall you wait for Ben to look up from the book you had recommended. Ben liked reading the little notes you made in the margins and seeing what sections you liked. Normally he would never read a sappy romance book but seeing the way you would react to what the characters did made him want to learn all he can on how to make you giggle and smile like that. Setting his book down on his lap revealing his bandaged cheek, he motioned you in before leaning up and adjusting his pillow before laying back down. “So, how does your face feel,” you ask sitting on his cot and holding his hand. “My cheek hurts, my nose hurts, my eye hurts, everything on my left side hurts. But, the meds Grace gave me are working I think,” he says trying to smile at you but only being able to smile with the right half. “...I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have turned around and left you to deal with the last guy, I should’ve taken care of him when I had the chance,” you say starting to ramble. “Hey, it’s okay. I lived I’m going to be okay,” he says squeezing your hand. “Do you think it's gonna look cool when it heals?” Ben asks lightening the mood. “It’s gonna be so badass.”

     Present

     You, Sloane, and Five had managed to corral the guardian into the laundry room. Hiding behind a line of washing and drying machines, you attempt to create a plan. “You’ve hit him with your ax five times. He should be dead by now,” Ben says to Five. “The armor. It’s like hitting cement,” Five says to the group. “There’s a space between the backplates,” Sloane informs the group. “We need to get behind him.” “I can do it. I can just walk up the wall a drop behind him and then boom, done,” you tell the group. “No, there is no way in hell you’re doing that,” Ben says firmly. “Oh really? You aren't the boss of me, asshole,” you reply making Ben groan in frustration. Beginning to crawl over to the wall you’re stopped when Sloane gently grabs your ankle. Going back to your hiding spot next to Sloane, she then says “Let’s kill this thing,” before leaping over the barricade with Five following after her. Sloane runs around to try and get behind the guardian but the guardian throws a knife that slices her arm open. Five appears and tries to hit it again but is bitch-smacked and knocked to the ground. Standing you run around to the guardian and jump on its back, distracting it from Sloane and Five. You and the guardian wrestle around for a bit; you trying to find some skin so that you can sink your fangs into it as your nails try to scratch it. The guardian soon gets the upper hand and throws you to the ground hard. It stands over you growling and raising its sword and then plunging it into your stomach. As you let out a bloodcurdling scream, Ben finally joins the fight, using his tentacles to restrain the guardian. His tentacles don't restrain it for long, the guardian slices through them causing Ben to wail in pain and the guardian to set his sights on him. Five then uses all of his strength to get up and strike between the backplates. 

     The guardian collapses falling face down with Five’s ax still in his back. Rolling over you see Ben and give him a weak smile, letting him know you were going to be okay. Sloane helps you stand, her arm around your waist while one of your arms around her neck. She brings you over to Ben, where he immediately holds you close, head buried in your neck. “You’re so fucking stupid, but you’re my idiot,” he says looking you in the eyes smiling. “And you’re such an asshole, but you’re my asshole,” you say pulling him in for another hug, giggling. “We should go to the lobby,” Five says out of breath. “You okay to walk?” he asks nervousness laced in his voice. “Yeah, I think I'm good,” you say lifting your shirt to look at the almost healed wound. 

     Meeting in the lobby with the other Umbrellas, you see Klaus on the floor being picked up by his siblings. “You look like hell,” Klaus says after Five approaches him. “Why don’t you try killing a guardian?” he replies sarcastically. “We just did,” Viktor says gesturing to Lila and Allison. “So did we,” you say, checking your wound and seeing no trace of it. “Klaus, I thought you were dead,” Sloane says worriedly. “Yes, yes I'm alive and amazing, despite Dad’s attempts to bash my brains in, but tearful reunion later,” Klaus responds worrying you and the others. “What you guys need to know now right now is that… Dad killed Luther. And locked me out of the tunnel and he rang that stupid bell!” he finishes. Seeing Reginald you and your family start towards him. “What's your plan, old man?” Five asks walking toward him with his arms out. “We don’t have time for this,” Reginald responds quickly. “You killed Luther!” Sloane confronts her father, holding her hurting side. “I had no choice. You refused to come together as a team,” he says. “All of your stupid myths and stories. There were never seven bells or Norsemen. You brought us here to die!” Ben exclaims finally standing up to his father, making you kind of proud. “That’s not so. Somewhere in this hotel is the key to resetting the universe. We just need to find the sigil!” Reginald says holding his journal. “I don’t care about your sigil! None of us do,” Sloane yells pain laced in her voice.

     “We barely survived that guardian with his stupid helmet and his sickle!” Diego joins. “The guardian we killed had an ax,” Viktor quietly adds. “Ours had a sword,” you add. “There’s one left,” Diego and Lila say in unison looking at each other. “We have to go after it,” Sloane vengefully states. “Because that worked so well the first time,” Ben says assholishly. Five goes to the balcony and looks down at the team. He’s probably annoyed with their arguments or he’s going off to find the guardian himself. “Hey, I found the sigil! It’s on the--” Five yells before the final guardian burst through the ceiling, landing on the balcony and cutting off Five’s arm. The guardian lands before you, growling at the sight of you and your family. The guardian first attacks Klaus, slicing into his stomach with his kusarigama. The guardian then throws some smoke bombs at some of the team, causing them to fall immediately. Standing with Ben as the guardian winds up to throw his kusarigama again, Ben throws you to his side, hitting your head on the hard tile. Luckily he was only hit with the iron weight at the end and not the blade. Diego then stands to fight, dodging one attack but then getting hit by the rest. The guardian wraps the chain around his arm and goes to slice him, however, Diego moves just in time to avoid the blow. He then starts landing blow after blow to the guardian’s side and back, before being smacked down by the growling guardian. 

     Sloane then stands in front of the guardian. Just as it goes to stab her she uses her powers to stop it, the metal armor creaking loudly. Sloane’s powers aren't enough and soon fade out, just as the guardian starts to stab its kama into Sloane, Luther grabs its arm and says “Nobody hurts my wife, you son of a bitch.” Luther then throws the guardian backward, it flies through the air, slamming into the ground near the stairs. Laying on the floor you start to sit up, helping Ben as you watch Luther stand up to Reginald and say his final goodbye to Sloane. The guardian starts to reanimate, Five tells everyone that the sigil is on the floor while Reginald tells everyone to find a star. Rushing over to an unoccupied star, Reginald grabs your arm and pulls you. “Not you,” he says firmly as he tightens his grip on your arm, pulling you away. The rest of the team goes and stands on a star, Allison goes to stand on one and is told the same thing. “No. Not you,” he says still holding your arm as your tired legs give out under you, leaving you hanging by your arm. Five walks down the balcony, what’s left of his arm tied off. The guardian reanimates and puts his mask back on, covering the nasty cockroach-infested face, and prepares to fight again. Five and Allison exchange looks as the guardian swings his kusarigama. Five teleports to the final star and electricity shoots out, connecting all the siblings and guardian.

     The beam of electricity burns a hole through the guardian, knocking it backward and finally killing it causing the guardian to disintegrate, leaving the armor behind as cockroaches scurry out. Reginald still has a tight hold on your arm as spotlights shine down on your siblings causing them all to strain and groan. The hotel starts to transform before your eyes, the hotel turns a neon gold color as the insides morph into a platform with gold lines all around. The desk behind you turns around and Reginald pulls you along with him to the new high-tech desk. Reggie starts tapping on the dome screens, one hand now wrapped around your wrist, tightly. “This wasn't part of the deal,” Allison steps in and says. “You dipshit! You’re hurting them!” you yell, biting down on Reginald’s hand. Reginald responds to you by slamming you on the floor repeatedly. Shit, I think this is my new thing. Repeatedly slamming your head into the ground, you look toward Ben, watching the life be sucked out of him. After Reginald feels you are no longer a threat he stops the banging, giving you one kick to the head before going back to the dome screens. Allison stands shocked at the sight, not knowing what to do. 

     “He killed Luther,” Viktor strains. “He tried to kill Klaus. He won’t stop until we’re all dead,” Five adds. Sitting up you look down at the pool of your blood dazed hearing the screams of your family as the energy powers up. “Okay, you need to stop!” Allison urges. “I’m almost done. And when I am, you and I will get what we came here for,” Reginald concludes. “No, you’re killing them!” she shouts at the old man. “Everything in life has a price,” he says as their screams get louder and particles fly off their bodies. Allison tries to use her powers to make Reginald stop but it somehow doesn't work. “Allison,” you weakly whisper. Getting her attention, you mouth to “get the kusarigama” and make a beating gesture. Allison grabs the kusarigama and with the kama cuts Reginald’s head in half, revealing non-human insides and dark green blood. The spotlights release your family, leaving them worse for wear. A faint call-like sound is heard and Allison goes towards the sound finding a button. “Allison… Allison, don’t touch that button. We don’t know what it does,” Five says out of breath and strained. “Allison, stop!” Viktor yells, getting ready to use his powers on her. “Do you trust me?” Allison asks Viktor. Viktor powers down, making the others protest. Allison presses the button and the room distorts and goes black.

     Waking up, you’re still in the hotel, only in the elevator. Waking up with your head in Ben’s lap, you sit up and look around not finding Allison or Sloane in the elevator. Everyone stands up, you all wait for the elevator to stop, not saying a word. The elevator finally stops and the door opens and you all step out. Ben gently holds your hand leading you out, taking caution given that his father tried to kill you not even five minutes before. “Cool,” Lila laughs looking at a bust of Reginald with Viktor. “Luther?” Viktor says seeing a smaller Luther exit the elevator. Viktor then walks over to him and jumps in his arms, overjoyed at seeing his previously deceased brother. The Umbrella’s cheer over Luther’s return. As they celebrate Ben looks at your head, the wounds starting to heal like magic. Smiling he places a kiss near one of the many cuts and bruises on your face. “Holy shit, my body!” Luther exclaims. “Wait. I gotta show Sloane,” he says looking for her. “I got my arm back,” Five says looking down at his once missing arm. “This is so cool. W-wait. Where’s Sloane?” Luther asks alarmed. “Oh, she was, uh… She was right behind me--,” Klaus says as Lila interrupts him “When Allison hit the bloody button.” “She’s gone too,” Diego adds. “You know, I don't know about you guys, but I have not felt this good in years,” Klaus says walking aimlessly. 

     “Does anyone know where the hell we are?” Ben says holding your waist and looking intently at your almost healed cuts. “The hotel. Or at least this is where it used to be,” Lila responds. “I think the old man did it. I think he reset the universe,” FIve says shocked. Lila exclaims that Diego got his fingers back causing you to look at Ben a little closer. “Holy shit babe. You’re scar,” you say awestruck. Luther continues to shout for Sloane and then threatens Five as Ben touches his cheek, not feeling the indention of his scar. As he feels for his scar he notices something else. “Where’s the sparrow?” he asks feeling where his Sparrow Academy tattoo was. Looking down at your wrist you still find the sparrow tattoo. “Okay, screw this,” Five says as he tries to teleport away but fails to do. “Something’s wrong,” he says looking toward the group. “That’s right. You’re about to get your ass kicked,” Luther says both hands on Five, ready to kick his ass. “Yeah, kick his ass,” Diego says excitedly. “No, you moron. My power,” he explains, the last part you couldn't hear. Diego then takes out one of his knives and trying to spin it but fails, the knife falling out of his hands. “That’s not good.” Everyone then tries to use their powers and everyone fails to do so, except for you, your fangs still intact and healing still there. “How do we get them back, idiots?” Ben asks annoyed. No one answers his question. Luther leaves to go find Sloane and Klaus goes after him. “We’re out bitches,” Ben says as you two walk away to go do something.

     “We can go on our vacation now,” Ben says walking with you, swinging your arms. “Where are you gonna take me?” you say as Ben spins you around. “I was thinking Paris. Ya know we could even live there. I mean, new timeline--universe new us,” he says smiling as you keep walking, passing by a streetseller. “So it's a plan then? We’ll move to France and live out our days?” he asks, stopping in front of a motel. “Okay, settle down, let's just start with a vacation there, then we’ll see how we feel,” you say, facing him and fixing his jacket. Walking inside the rundown motel, Ben pays for a room and gets the key. Walking into the room you immediately throw all of your clothes off and start to get in bed, snuggling under the sheets waiting for Ben. He stands at the sink looking in the mirror, touching where his scar had been just 20 minutes ago. “I think we can start over,” Ben says to your almost asleep self. “Yeah? No more playing superheroes?” you reply eyes closed laying down. “Yeah, be normal people for a while.” Feeling his weight on the bed, you open your eyes and look at him, seeing him facing you. Leaning down he places a soft kiss on your lips. “I promise you, we’ll be a normal family from now on. A-and if I ever break that promise, you’re allowed to beat me up,” he whispers almost in tears. “I’m proud of you,” you say still looking him deeply in the eyes changing the topic. “I’m proud, you finally did it. You stood up to Reggie and looked damn good doing it,” you say smiling and giggling. “T-t-thank you,” Ben sniffles as he starts to cry. Sitting up you comfort him, holding him close to your chest, rocking back and forth. 

     Waking up the next morning, Ben and you gather your meager things together and get dressed to go on your next (normal) adventure. Catching a taxi to the airport, Ben starts rambling about all the things he wants to do and see. The only other time I’ve seen him this happy was on our wedding day. “And don’t worry about how we’re gonna pay for all this stuff,” Ben says confusing you and worrying the driver. “Because I got this,” he finishes, holding up Reginald’s debit card, grinning like an idiot. “Do you really think he won’t notice when we’re spending thousands of dollars?” you reply smiling and grabbing the card to put in your pocket. “As if he’d care,” Ben replies, continuing to talk about all the places he’s going to take you and all the sights you’re going to see while he wraps you in his arms.

Taglist: @0x1lovesonq @bryannabarradas @ac-book-nerd-13  @4okkotsu @kraken-00-22 @fivehargreevessuit @isaefire @xhiiyuv @fridatessacm @gloriousstudentoperamug @j-panic @salted-fis @siriusly-rem-writes @gamingdevil101 @sanguinelabyrinth @muzanslander12 @mihhggvggh @choichaeyiul @mitsuri-darling @birbtweettweet @choclate32 @ddeonubaby @nao-cchi @i-bitch-you-bitch @mylesofasgard @darlingsuna @blogname197 @mivzai @emmeowo @yanelly1085 @mukbee @aceofspades190 @jui36oxx @iamasimpsstuff @hawkinsbylers @fanficwritersworld @natsgaygf @divergentnewt23 @fantasyfiction-net @electronicvoidcat @ben-er-ino @papaskazoo @cole-silas @strxwberryh3art @volturiwolf @cff3kat @simpforbenhargreeves @thelaststraw3 @putarbalik @wandas-lovey @r4iner 

[hislittleraincloud]

I just wanted to contribute to your recent ask, if that's okay and I will be hiding behind an anonymous face, so apologies in advance but I'm anxious about backlash from others since I'm active in the fandom and I may piss some people off.

I agree with your statements about the incorrect use of nicknames toward whichever partner Wednesday is paired up with, it makes me cringe so much, especially with the 'Cara Mia' because like you, I cannot see Ortega's Wednesday using the same pet names that her parents use. Some people go ridiculously overboard with it, and I really enjoyed your breakdown over the incorrect use of the French pet names. Wednesday despises the sappy love between her parents, I highly doubt she would mimic that.

I've seen your posts pop up occasionally, I like some of the art you share, and I did try reading your story out of curiosity. But it did make me uncomfortable with the underage stuff due to past experiences, and that is okay for me to admit and doesn't mean you're a bad person for writing it. It's a fanfiction ffs, the same people upset about your pairing are probably having wet dreams over Wednesday murdering people or some other illegal shit 🤷‍♀️

I have respect for you as a person and writer, and how you've brought awareness to the transphobic nature of some fics, we don't need that in this fandom.

Nothing better to offset anon hate than anon respect. 💖✨

It's always okay to drop anything in my inbox if you're afraid of backlash due to popular shipping, but "YOU PERVERT, IT'S R#PE!!!" judgement should not be faceless. 🥹

It's also always okay to give reason to why any fic or pairing is something you avoid due to trauma, and you shouldn't have to say that aloud. At least, you don't to me. I sincerely hope that my post didn't come across as "U MUST READ MY SHIT NO MATTER WHAT BEFORE YOU JUDGE IT" to those (like you) who have terrible trauma surrounding the subject/content. If you have such trauma, then my tags should've been a warning, and I completely understand why you would not want to read it.

Hm, I'm also agreeing w the whole subject matter in general thing. I've seen a few fics where Wednesday is r#ped and/or tortured (usually by Tyler or Gatesmonster), but apparently others do, so whatever. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I can't impose on others my severe judgement on what gets others off (in terms of fiction and fictional characters), I can only say that Wednesday suffers enough mentally on a daily basis that I hate adding to that, or seeing it. N/C Wednesday is still precious to me, no matter how tempting it can be to smack her around a bit/knock her off her high horse (I was pleased though, when in canon she got her brow nicked...she hadn't had any reason to attack Bianca before then, aside from her calling her a psychopath (as if not everyone in the school already thought she was)...she was being a narc little asshole during the fencing scene).

As for the rest of it, I really didn't say anywhere that Wednesday shouldn't come up with any cute pet names for Enid, even suggesting that she could be creative enough to make her own compound words like "my little lupinette" (to me, something like that would make her bond with Enid much more tailored to whatever Enid brought out within her while distancing herself from becoming Mommie Dearest enough). Borrowing directly from them just... 💀 AB Wednesday is currently even more formal and uptight than any Wenclair Wends but is slowly learning, and in one upcoming scene she calls Donovan "Jim". My readers will see why (🤣🤣🤣).

Aside from crafting this Satisfying Universe, I had to sit and watch malignant psychopaths destroy the hopes and dreams of my fellow 🏳️‍⚧️ people in Tennessee, Florida, Texas, Missouri, etc. this spring and throughout the summer, so I'm especially peeved when I see anything that could be construed as trans exclusionary in here. I lost the Potter fandom to it in 2020 when JKR came out full TERF, even though we all kind of suspected it before. We never, ever had "Draco Malfoy x AFAB reader" or "Hermione Granger x AMAB reader" labeled fics. We didn't care what you were born with, genital-wise. Fiction is and will forever be an escape, so let's try to keep it that way. 🫠✨

Anyway, thanks for the message. I'm only sad that you feel like you need to hide, or that anyone feels like they need to hide. I understand it though.

[comingyourlugubriousness]

Hihi- is it okie for me to ask about:

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

From the recent ask game with Yume and Idia? (◕ᴗ◕)

Also I just love Yume and Idia together so much eueueueu *Head in hands*

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

(besides obvious sappy couple stuff lol)

This is kinda obvious but Idia and Yume are gamers, so they game!

They play a bunch of different genres but particularly Yume likes to show Idia the games on their handheld from their world. In my lore he makes a console so that they can play them together along with Ortho!

 They also like Mmorpgs but Yume gets a little peeved because Idia tries to give their new character really powerful loot from his already maxed lvl character, when Yume just wants to play the game balanced at first lol. He usually ends up making another character so they can play fairly.

I imagine he might consider introducing Yume to online friends, but Yume shys away from that, saying that it's okay and they don't have to be included in every little thing. (Plus they're still nervous meeting ppl online.)

(Fun fact their first official date was basically an animal crossing date lol. But only Yume, Idia and Ortho consider that a real date.)

When they're not doing that they're usually trying to get one another to watch some show together. Not just anime ethier, there's lots of old classic movies that Yume has never seen from Twisted Wonderland (Like pumpkin knight!) so Idia shows them all those too and usually Ortho tags along to.  Yume can somewhat remember old movies from their world so sometimes they try and explain those to Idia and Ortho. They get really silly with it! Trying to do voices and act out the scenes. It usually ends with them all laughing at something stupid.

They also like playing tabletop games together, one of their fav is DND! Yume really likes the creative aspect of it and was actually playing a small game with their brothers before meeting Idia. Yume likes drawing them and their friends' characters and thinking of what classes would suit them!  And they and Idia like discussing the lore and backstories of their characters!

Other times I think they just like hanging out together, both doing their own separate things while just in the same room, enjoying the company. Like, Yume working on art or a knitting project while Idia works on a technomany project for example!

Overtime I think Yume (with Ortho and friends help) get Idia to expand his horizons ever so slightly at a time and eventually they go places (shocking I know) on dates too!

I think eventually (and especially after ch. 6) both of them would just like to experience some semblance of normality. Hanging out with friends, going on cliche dates, just happy normal everyday school things. Things Yume can't remember from their past and things Idia just never really got to experience...

I think that would be important for both of them.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

For Yume I don't think they try to hide their relationship per say, it's just that they don't think it's anyone's business. But it's rather obvious how they feel especially after the events of ghost marriage.

Yume will gush about Idia if given a chance to close friends and often tries to dispel bad rumors about him when they get the chance. They aren't as up in your face as Ortho though.

Out of the two of them I think Idia would be the most adamant about hiding their relationship. Not because he doesn’t want people to know he's dating Yume, but doesn’t want people to know Yume is dating him. Yume has a decent reputation after all! They shouldn’t ruin it!

I think at first they would only tell their respective brothers. But after the events of ghost marriage (and even before) it's pretty obvious to a lot of people.

I think for PDA that depends on the time and place.

Some people at school might even say that they didn’t even know they were dating. Neither of them are gonna be lovey dovey in the halls of their school or a classroom because they think that's where you go to work duh. But on the rare occasion Yume can get Idia to agree to go out somewhere. They have the potential to be in their own little world and just focus on eachother. Though even then they’d probably just stick to holding hands and hugs unless they're in a more private space. 

I imagine that they usually try not to kiss around others, except the occasional cheek kiss or something similar.

Fluff Ask Game!

Sorry this took so long to answer heres and old sketch of the nerds to make up for it!

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

green frosting

summary: hockey players aren’t known for their domestic skills, and Nolan isn’t an exception.

word count: 2.7k

note from the writer: day four! enjoy this and the other fics from my Christmas masterlist! tagging @bqstqnbruin​ @broadstbroskis​ @nazkadris​ @laurenairay​ @justjosty​ @sorryjustafangirl​ @tayella13​ @wastedheartcth​ @writinghockey​ / add yourself to my taglist

Each year the Christmas season seemed to arrive sooner and sooner until suddenly halfway through October you were seeing videos of people intricately decorating holiday cookies that you had no hope of recreating. Still, you saved the videos for reference when you finally had a moment to do some Christmas baking.

When Nolan told you he had the night off, you jumped on the chance to have him to yourself and told him to meet you at your apartment. It had been a few days since the last time you had gotten him alone as a result of hockey, and you were excited to have him over.

And for the chance to make some cookies.

When Nolan showed up at your place, expecting a night in with a movie and takeout, he wasn’t expecting you to already have on your coat and a bright smile. He was dressed casually, grey sweats and a dark Flyers hoodie, and hat on his head that did little to hide the length that was his hair. Still, despite the relatively plain outfit, he never failed to make your heart skip a beat.

“Hey, Nols.” You grinned, pushing yourself up onto your tip-toes to press a kiss to his cheek in greeting. If possible, his cheeks flushed a little bit more red than usual, and you couldn’t help but feel a pang of victory in your chest for drawing the reaction out of him.

See, you and Nolan weren’t technically anything more than friends. But you had been towing the line between platonic and romantic for far too long, and it seemed almost inevitable that things were going to tip in the direction you desperately wanted it to soon.

“Hey, where are we going?” He questioned, voice deep and laced with confusion as he watched you lock your apartment door after shutting the door.

“To the store, I figured we could make some Christmas cookies.” You explained, turning to face him with an excited smile. Part of your giddiness was for the cookies, but mostly you were looking forward to having the chance to see just how poor Nolan’s domestic skills were. “Only if you want to, though.”

“Sounds fun.” He said earnestly, slipping his hand in yours and tugging you in the direction of the elevator he had just arrived from before you got the chance to second guess yourself further. And really, he couldn’t say no when you were smiling at him and he was desperate for any chance to spend time with you.

“We’ll see how fun you find it when we actually start baking.” You teased, knocking him with your shoulder and drawing a chuckle out of him. The elevator doors opened, and you pulled him in with you and without a second thought he crowded you against the back wall after hitting the button for the lobby.

“You know, I missed you a lot on this last trip.” He mumbled, his hands coming to settle on your hips as he backed you into the wall of the elevator. It was things like this that told you that you weren’t the only one that saw the trajectory of your relationship heading into something much less platonic.

“You didn’t miss me on the other ones?” You couldn’t help the chirp, but thankfully it did little to discourage him. Instead, his grip tightened and his smile widened just a bit more. You wondered if he was going to do it then, if he was finally going to kiss you and end this months long game of cat and mouse you had been playing.

“I always miss you.” He conceded, but before you could comment further, the elevator doors dinged open to reveal the lobby and you separated, albeit a bit reluctantly. You were still smiling, though, wide and teasingly as you slipped your hand into his and tugged him out of the elevator.

It was easy to find his car parked on the street and when Nolan opened your door for you, you couldn’t do anything to stop the grin that found its way onto your face. The ride to the store was quick and spent mostly in conversation about what the boys had gotten up to on the latest road trip, and before you knew it he was parking in front of the grocery store you regularly visited.

“And I swear Teeks didn’t leave my room until after midnight, I had to kick him out.” Nolan explained, drawing a chuckle out of you at their dynamic. They seemed like polar opposites, Travis was loud and animated while Nolan preferred to keep to himself. Even so, you had cracked his hard exterior and now were so close to getting to his heart, you could tell.

“Sounds like you guys had fun.” You told him with a smile, climbing out of the car after he parked at the nearest grocery store.

“Wish you could’ve been there, though.” He said, and you chuckled at his sappy words and the way he extended his hand out for you to hold as if it was second nature. You gave his hand a quick squeeze, a silent reply that you, too, wished you could have been there.

It wasn’t exactly late at night, but the grocery store was nearly empty, music playing loudly and you couldn’t help the rush of excitement you felt as you remembered your purpose of the trip. Eagerly, you grabbed a basket and pulled Nolan further into the store.

“They’ve been playing this song since November.” Nolan groaned, following after you and letting you take control. It took you a moment to realize what he was talking about, but then you heard the familiar tune of “Sleigh Ride” by The Ronettes playing through the store’s speaker.

“Grinch.” You huffed playfully, knocking your shoulder into his arm and drawing a chuckle out of him. “C’mon, I have most of the stuff we need but I need cookie cutters, food coloring, and confectioners sugar.”

“Confectioners sugar?” He repeated, as if the words were forgein to his ears and he’d never heard of it before. You chuckled at his cluelessness, somehow his complete lack of domestic skills and knowledge endearing to you.

“Powdered sugar, Nols.” You teased, but before he could make a playful commnet back, you were distracted by the display of cookie cutters and other Christmas baking supplies. Nolan let you pick, knowing that whatever you decided he’d go along with—and not just about cookie cutters; you had him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it.

He watched as you absentmindedly hummed along to the Christmas song playing through the store. He wondered how he could have gotten so lucky to be the one you were late night baking with, the one you spent most of your freetime with. He wanted to be yours, he wanted the label and the ability to show you off without fear of you thinking he was overstepping.

Hell, he already thought of you as his girl.

“Anyone home?” Your voice dragged Nolan out of his thoughts, hand waving in front of his face with a playful grin on yours. Your smile widened as he grabbed your hand, threading your fingers together all while rolling his eyes at you. He was suppressing a grin, you could see it in his eyes and the way the corners of his lips twitched so you considered it a win and tugged him in the direction of the rest of the items you needed.

The sugar was an easy find but the food coloring was on the very highest shelf and Nolan would be damned if he passed up the opportunity to tease you. He acted as if he wasn’t going to grab the box for you, arms crossed over his chest and a smug grin on his face as he encouraged you to just grab the box. It was all in good nature and you found yourself giggling through threats until he finally caved and pulled the box down for you.  

His hands barely left you the entire trip, fingers threaded through yours or palms on your waist as he stood behind you at checkout. It was as if he couldn’t help himself, and you didn’t mind one bit. You could get lost in him for hours, so as soon as you settled back into his car for the drive back to your place, you reached over and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers through his. You spotted the grin on his face, but before you could tease him for it, he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand and set your hands in your lap.

Nolan made sure to grab the bag out of the backseat before you had the chance to, and as you walked into your apartment building, you wondered what you could have possibly done to get lucky enough to have Nolan in your life. He was sweet, funny, and devilishly attractive.

You just wished he’d ask you out, or at the very least kiss you.

“So, where do we start?” Nolan asked after setting the bag on your kitchen counter.

“Grab the bluetooth speaker out of my room, please?” You asked sweetly, moving around your kitchen deftly and pulling out all of the ingredients you’d need to make the standard Christmas sugar cookies. Nolan saluted playfully before slipping out of the room, returning just as you pulled the eggs out of the refrigerator. You handed him your unlocked phone and told him to connect it to the speaker and went to work in grabbing two large bowls and the mixer.

“What playlist?” He asked from his spot leaning against the counter. You turned and grinned at him, taking an extra second to admire how effortlessly attractive he looked while just standing in your kitchen.

“The Christmas one, Nols, we’re making Christmas cookies.” You told him as if it was obvious, a grin on your face that assured him you were just teasing. He rolled his eyes playfully, but otherwise complied and within seconds “Mistletoe and Holly” by Frank Sinatra was playing through the speaker.

“Alright captain, what’s first?” Nolan asked, setting your phone down and stepping towards the counter where you’d set up the ingredients.

“Okay, we need to measure these and put them in this bowl.” You told Nolan, gesturing to the flour, baking powder, salt, and one of the bowls you had gathered. Putting Nolan in charge of the flour with little more than the amount he needed and a threat to not make a mess, you went to work measuring the other ingredients. Unsurprisingly, you finished your tasks before Nolan, and watched with a giggle as he focused intently on getting the exact amount of flour you told him.

The rest of baking went similarly to the start, you told Nolan what to do and he did it with brows furrowed in concentration and a seriousness you hadn’t expected him to have when you asked him to bake with you.

“So now we just wait?” He asked for clarification, looking between you and the sheet of cookies you had just put in the oven.

“Mhm, and when that sheet is done we cut out some more until there’s not enough dough to make more.” You explained to him, leaning against the counter to admire him. There was flour on his sweatshirt and on the brim of his backwards hat from when he adjusted it. You were cleaner, but you were convinced that it was impossible to bake anything and escape without getting some flour on you.

The song switched just as you finished talking, the familiar intro to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” filling your kitchen and making a grin appear on your face. Nolan recognized that look, and instantly he was pushing himself up from where he had been leaning against the counter to pull you into his arms and dance dramatically in your kitchen.

He spun you around and you giggled wildly, your moves anything but graceful. He was smiling wide, too, and you decided that it was your favorite sight. The music continued, switching to it’s more upbeat tune and allowing you to dance even goofier, much to Nolan’s delight. You tried to force him to match your energy, but the most you got was a dorky shimmy after you pouted playfully.

“Don’t act like you’re not having fun.” You sighed, breathing a little heavier than you probably should have been after dancing. A mellower song played after Mariah, shifting the mood from goofy and light to a little more serious, though the smile on Nolan’s face helped grow yours.

“I never said I wasn’t having fun, I’d just rather watch you.” He explained, settling his hands on your waist and pulling you closer. Your heart picked up in pace, the look in his eyes one that had you excited, one that had you hoping that maybe he was finally going to kiss you.

“Charmer.” You muttered, if only to fill the silence. Nolan chuckled at that, but he didn’t seem to want to make a comment back, and instead he began leaning his head down, slowly, as if he was giving you a chance to back out. You weren’t going to, not even a little bit, but the very second you tilted your chin up to silently ask for a kiss the alarm on the oven went off, loud enough to have you jolting away from Nolan despite how much you wanted to stay in his arms.

You tried to ignore the way he groaned in defeat as you turned away from him to pull the first sheet of cookies out of the oven. Nolan started on the next batch, rolling out the dough like you had taught him. You had a system going, and soon enough all the cookies were cooled on the counter and there were various bowls with different colored frosting. You had red, white, green, and yellow for the Christmas trees, stars, and candy canes cookies you had cut out.

Unsurprisingly, you were much neater than Nolan, and in no time he had frosting all up and down his shirt. Halfway through carefully frosting a Christmas tree, you turned around to grab your phone and change the song, only to catch Nolan grinning at you.

“You’ve got a little something.” He mumbled, smiling at you gesturing to his cheek. You reached a hand up on your own face, brushing at the area but somehow missing whatever was on his face. Nolan chuckled, stepped forward to help you out. He swiped his thumb across your cheek, and pulled back his hand to show you the green frosting you had been using to decorate the Christmas shaped trees with on his thumb. Parting his lips, he sucked the frosting off with an obnoxious hum, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” You asked, voice confident with a teasing lilt and it was all it took for Nolan to duck his head down and connect his lips to yours. It was a long awaited kiss, one that had been built up by months of teasing glances and not-so accidental brushes.

You wanted to thread your fingers into his hair, but your hands were still covered in frosting so instead you gripped his already frosting-stained shirt in a bid to keep him in place. He was cupping your face, holding you just as close and you felt as if you were on cloud nine. He tasted like green frosting, so much so you wondered if he had been sneaking some from the bowl instead of just the small bit he had licked off his thumb.

You weren’t sure who pulled back first, but you were both smiling at each other and it was clear the feelings you had for him were mutual. You pushed yourself up onto your tip-toes to press another quick kiss to his lips before settling back onto your feet.

“The frosting tastes good.” You teased, and somehow Nolan’s cheeks turned rosier.

“Are you sure we have to finish this? I think we should just keep kissing.” He suggested, and though the offer was tempting, you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Cookies first, then we can do your idea.”

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

[the-fiction-witch]

Lovely Tag Thomas Brodie Sangster

A - Affection [How affectionate are they with you?]

He's very affectionate, when at home but never in public. He likes to be affectionate and a little weird with you he'll poke you and then just lick your nose for no reason but its so cute and adorable, he'll just walk behind you and cuddle you tightly while your looking in the fridge, and he'll spank your butt as you bend over just generally cute fun affection

B - Butter [How much do they coddle you, and how?]

He does like to coddle you a little, he keeps you away from the press, the internet and all the sorts of things that would upset you, and really anything that you could get hurt in anyway he will not allow it full stop not going to happen, he wasn't even that thrilled about you being on his bike for the first time but he bought you so much gear that if you where to have an accident you would be as okay as he could possibly make you, he very much stands as your night from all the bad things that could hurt you even if you whine about being allowed to do more then you are

"god damn it! I am not going to electrocute myself Thomas! I'm just changing the light bulb"

"I wasn't worried about you electrocuting yourself I'm worried about you falling off the chair.... and shocking yourself"

C - Confide [How easily do they confide to you?]

He was open to confiding with you, however it was sort of an unspoken thing that it was sort of tit for tat as it were, if you confided something in him he would confide something in you almost like a trade, he would never keep a secret from you or anything just didn't feel the need to tell you unless you asked really or if you had said something,

D - Defensive [How protective are they over you?]

He can get very defensive especially with the internet he knows the sorts of things they say about you and he tried so hard to protect you, he tries to make sure the press stay out of your business and away from you, hides you behind him a little when there is camera's around because he knows the sorts of things they will say about you so he tries very hard to protect you.

E - Exhausted [How do they take care of you when you're tired or feeling low?]

It takes him a little while to notice but once he's realized he'll make you something nice to eat that won't make you feel any worse, let you sit across his lap and tell him all about it or just fall asleep on him whichever you need at the time, he'll cuddle you as tight as you want make run his hands across anywhere that hurts, petting your hair and soothing you with kisses and reassuring lovely words

F - Fluffy [How sappily sweet can they get?]

He can get pretty sappy if he wants to. but its a rare thing its saved for date nights and celebrations, but you can tell he's in a sappy mode because he'll be leaning his head on his hand and looking at you with that stupid dorky smile and he'll tell you out of the blue how much he loves you.

G - Game [How much do they play around, and are they a tease?]

He loves to play around, licking your cheek, poking your nose, eating your hair, doing all the stilly childish things that make you laugh even if its just an awkward laugh of weirdness, picking you up and carrying you around on his shoulder like his personal damsel in distress,

H - Happy [What's their favourite thing to do with you, that makes them happy?]

He loves having you on the back of his bike, He likes wrapping you up in all the gear and in his spare helmet he loves feeling your arms around him as you hold him close as he speeds his motorbike though London, going a little fast as you go around round about's going super fast on the duel carriage ways, taking you off to little unknown beauty spots for you to lean on the bike and cuddle.

I - Initiate [Do they make the first move?]

He will always make the first move, unless your in public then he always waits for you. He'll wrap his arm around you and give you a little kiss as you watch tv or cuddle up and have some kisses as you make dinner.

J - Jealousy [How jealous can they get and how do they show it?]

He'll glare. If he starts to get jealous He'll get very quiet and just glare at whoever it is talking with you, One day you where out to dinner with Dylan while he was visiting London for press and the two of you where just having a nice chat getting along really well and you could have sworn Dylan was about to burst into flames the way Thomas was glaring at him.

L - Love [How do they react to you giving them affection?]

He blushes and giggles a little when you give him affection and he'll always give you some back ,if you give his cheek a sweet kiss then he'll give you one back, if you give him a cuddle he'll cuddle you even tighter, he loves giving you affection and it always makes him smile and go all giggly

M - Married [What's it like to be married to them?]

its lovely, he's very kind and sweet as well as playful so it never gets dull or boring. Luckily he likes to ticker so he's a very handy husband doing household tasks like fixing the sink or building furniture, he's a perfect husband and you wouldn't change it for the world.

N - Newborn [How are they with having kids, and how would they be as a parent?]

he got so happy, he wanted to show the whole world your baby bump, he told every human being he possible could that you where pregnant and that he did it! he treats you like a princess anyway and when you where pregnant he treated you as if you where his queen, he held your hand every moment from the second you knew to the moment your baby was born. you where worried due to his work that he would end up being a bit absent from your children's lives but he always makes time for them, taking you all with him or even turning things down when he can't have the time with you, you and his children became the priority above everything on earth, and he spoils them a lot, but not enough that they become spoilt little rich kids they still learn to work and a good ethics, and still have to earn there pocket money even if Thomas spoils them around Christmas and there birthdays. And your children respect him, as the man of the house and as there father likely because of this odd wise father sat in an old chair with a facial hair and a cigarette look that he sort of developed when you had children, they love him and he loves them all very much too.

O - Outdoors [How are they with you in public?]

He likes to hold your hand, keep you close but not so much with kissing and such like probably because London is a very busy place and he doesn't like people seeing you kissing and cuddling,

P - Propose [How would they propose, and where would that be?]

He did it quiet classic, with the beautiful ring in a little red velvet box, getting down on his knee telling you how much he loves you, he made sure to make sure you did your make up and your hair and wear a nice dress even if it was hard to make you do so without letting out something was happening. He took you to your date spot in hyde park and tricked you into looking for an ice cream cart so he had time to get the ring and get down on one knee before you turned back.

Q - Quarrel [How are they after a fight, and will they try to make amends right after?]

if there is a fight between you even if it is very rare he goes and sits in his shed for a while on his little stool pondering with his tools until he knows he was a dick or he did wrong and he goes out on his bike and returns with a bottle of wine, the biggest box of your favourite chocolates and a nice bunch of flowers or perhaps a little cute potted plant and he'll apologize a thousand times until you smile again

R - Romantic [How much of a hopeless romantic are they, and how do they show it?]

He's romantic with gestures, buying you plants and plushies, making you a nice dinner, helping you with your favourite crafting, putting on your shows and such, he likes spoiling you with whatever you ask for even stuff you don't ask for.

S - Snuggles [Do they like to cuddle, and how do they do it?]

He is okay with a cuddle its just never completely cuddly as he doesn't like trapping you or making you feel claustrophobic, and he likes to be the little spoon a lot just rests his head on your shoulder or your chest an arm around your waist while he nuzzles up and tells you he loves you before bed time.  

T - Touchy [How touch starved are they, and would they show it?]

He doesn't show it as its kinda his default state being away from you for work so much and often when he is home being off with jack on the bikes or at auditions and such being touch starved is actually pretty normal for Thomas, but you can always tell when he's got it bad because he'll just hold you for... well until you move yourself.

U - Urchin [What's one negative trait about them that hurts you?]

He at times gets lost in what he's doing he tends to focus on one thing like if he's in his shed working on his bike he won't respond to messages, he won't do anything else unless you literally go to the shed and poke him, which can be great when you get him focused on something you want him to do, like cleaning the house, he won't stop of change focus until it's spotless but if he gets stuck on something like playing his video game he will not move until you force him or he gets bored.

V - Vibe [What energy do they give off when you're with them?]

Just pure joy. Whenever he's with you he feels like a child in love, giddy, excited and full of joy.

W- Wedding [What are they like at their wedding?]

teary, He could barely get thought seeing you before he completely  bursting into tears, Barely though the vows before getting teary. but its okay it was all tears of joy and you kissed away all his tears after the ceremony.

X - Xtreme [What lengths would they go to for you?]

he would do anything you asked, and he would often offer if you wanted something off him. He'll do his best to do what you ask even if at times he can't help it, like if your sad and you miss him when he's away working. He'll do his best to call you up or skype you for a while maybe flight you out to visit him if possible, but even if he can't due to time zones or anything he'll make it all up to you buy taking you out and spoiling you when he's home.

Y - Yogurt [What's their ideal place for a date?]

Thomas loves taking you on a nice motorbike ride to the seaside or the beautiful grounds and gardens of a nice house or Park, a little dinner in a small not to busy restaurant and an ice cream before heading home for a cuddle and a glass of wine.  

Z - Zipper [What clothes do they like seeing you in?] His, he can't help but go bright red and almost verbally awww at you when he sees you in his clothes. But he also loves when you dress up as he says himself its fun to dress up so you always have a day once a month or so where you get fully dressed up in heels a dress, and he gets on a full suit and you have your own little red carpet trip in his vintage car, to go and get pizza.

[writerfae]

Modern AU chat fic - part three

this is still one of my fave modern au headcanons. (it doesn’t take place during their high school time but rather in the last year of college)

Talon: Oh my god, I wanna die.

Talon: Someone please kill me.

Halea: Gladly.

Maya: Halea!

Maya: What’s wrong Tal?

Talon: Did you guys know that Aiden speaks and understands French?

Maya: …

Halea: Uh, sure? He spent a year abroad in a country that has French as an official language, what do you think how he communicated

Talon: I don’t know, maybe in English?????

Talon: I’m sure most people in Canada speak English. It’s official language, too.

Talon: Wait, did you know too, Maya?

Maya: …

Maya: Yeah.

Talon: Then why didn’t you tell me? I thought you were my best friend. You could’ve saved me from this embarrassment.

Halea: What even happened that makes you freak out so much? So Aiden understands French. So what? You speak French too.

Talon: That. Is exactly the problem.

Halea: ???

Talon: I said some stuff in French because I thought then he wouldn’t understand what I said.

Halea: Were you insulting him?

Halea: Cause if you were I’ll beat your tall ass.

Talon: No. Worse.

Talon: I’ve been saying… cheesy stuff

Halea: I still don’t think I understand the problem.

Talon: Ugh.

Maya: I’ll explain.

Maya: Whenever Talon says something sappy or romantic to Aiden he says it in French because he thinks it’s too embarrassing to say it in a language Aiden actually understands

Maya: Which is stupid btw, as I already tried to tell him.

Maya: Now turns out that since Aiden speaks French he actually understood all the cheesy stuff Talon said all along

Halea: Ohhhhhh

Halea:AHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Talon: Are you done

Halea: No, not by far

Maya: Halea!

Halea: Okay I‘ll stop

Halea: But it’s still hilarious why did Aiden never tell me this it’s comedy gold

Talon: I’ve been asking myself the same question

Maya: Did you ask him why he didn’t tell you?

Talon: …

Talon: No.

Maya: What did you say about the whole situation then?

Talon: I-

Talon: …

Maya: Talon, spit it out

Talon: Ugh okay I more or less made up a half-assed excuse and fled from the apartment

Maya: Oh Tal -.-

Talon: I panicked, okay???

Talon: I said something cheesy and this time he answered me in perfect French and I swear I died right then and there.

Halea: For someone this smart you’re actually pretty stupid

Talon: You’re not allowed to call me stupid, you’re more stupid than me

Halea: At least I tell my girlfriend how I feel about her to her face instead of hiding it behind some fancy language

Maya: Stop it, both of you.

Maya: Talon, you really should speak with Aiden about this. It wasn’t fair of you to just leave just because you were embarrassed. What do you think how he feels now?

Talon: Shit. You’re right.

Halea: She’s always right.

Talon: Shit shit shit I was acting really stupid, didn’t I?

Maya: Yeah.

Halea: Absolutely.

Halea: So stop texting us and go on home to your man already.

Maya: And maybe this time actually use English to express your feelings

Halea: Yeah! If you’re not embarrassed of loving him you shouldn’t be embarrassed of telling him!!

Talon: Those are… actually some pretty wise words

Halea: Well I’m not as stupid as you might think I am

Talon: Debatable. But really, thank you girls

Maya: No problem.

Halea: You’re welcome

Maya: And now GO.

. . .

*later, after Talon has left the chat*

Halea: Can you believe these two idiots? They’re hopeless.

Maya: Yeah. Hopelessly in love with each other and hopelessly bad at feelings sometimes. They’re lucky to have us.

Halea: When they ever get married they better thank us at their wedding

Maya: Yeah that’s true.

Halea: These dorks I swear

Maya: That’s why we love them though.

Halea: True haha

Halea: I love you btw <3

Maya: awwwww babe, I love you too

Halea: <3

Maya: <3

.

general tag list: @deadlycupid @writing-is-a-martial-art @writingamongther0ses @blueinkblot @wildswrites @abiandwriting @theroyalcoven @7devills @myhusbandsasemni @authortango @sleepy-night-child @charleeyy @formulatingfiction @shiishki @gr3y-heron

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Under the Knife” - Part 10 (Finale)

“Under the Knife” - Part 10 (Finale)

My Masterlist - Here

Story Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Hannibal Lecter x Reader, Will Graham x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3,800-ish

Key: Chunks of text in italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts. Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, talk of violence, talk of death

Summary: You are Will Graham’s sister who works with him at the FBI. When you get offered a job promotion, life starts to change. Some changes for the better; Some for the worst.

Author’s Note: Well, we are finally at the final chapter. This has been such an incredibly challenging story to work on, but I have learned so much from this process that will no doubt help shape my future stories.

Thank you to all of the readers who have liked, reblogged, commented, messaged, and reached out to me. This has been the best response I’ve gotten on a story and it has filled me with a level of appreciation that I wasn’t expecting. <3 

With the sappy stuff out of the way, please enjoy the final chapter of “Under the Knife.”

This is beta-read by @theeactress​, but please let me know if there is something that we missed or that we should look at again! 

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Tag List: @fruitloopzzz @theeactress @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @sj-thefan​ @fuck-your-bad-vibes-dude​ @ntlmundy​ @a-person-unlabled​ @germansarechill​ @rentheanonymous​ @liadamerondjarin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Taking into account that Henry Urik was left-handed, I was able to throw my head back, causing him to falter, and then lean to my right in order to escape his grasp and not have my throat sliced open. This gave me enough time to get back to the table and get my hands on the gun.” 

“Unfortunately, the gun was empty. It’s common for killers to use unloaded or fake guns as intimidation techniques with their victims. My mistake gave Henry enough time to stabilize himself and grab hold of me again, resulting in a mild concussion and being knocked unconscious until a few hours later. Luckily Dr.Lecter was able to fight, thus saving me until Special Agent Crawford and his team could come.” You looked around and saw a few people taking notes while others just nodded their heads. Checking your watch, you saw that you had a few more minutes left to fill up. “And with that, I have time for one or two questions before we leave.”

The lights faded up a little bit, nothing too harsh for you. You quickly scanned over the larger than the normal crowd in your lecture hall. 

The fact that you, a survivor of the Virginia Scalpel, were giving a lecture on the case had attracted the minds of not only your normal trainees but the higher-ups as well. 

It was a slightly dizzying feeling to see the faces of management in your lecture hall, but that could also be the still healing minor concussion from a serial killer slamming you into a table a little less than a week ago. Either way, you took this time to sit on your desk and drink some water as you pointed to one of the trainees in the first row.

“I don’t want to bring up anything too triggering, ma’am, but I--”

“Kid, if I wasn’t okay enough to jump back into the shitstorm named Henry Urik, I wouldn’t have agreed to be here today.” A scattering of chuckles echoed through the hall. You were glad to hear that your lighthearted comment helped ease the tension in the room. “Please, continue. I’ll be okay, I promise.” The agent nodded and took a breath, whatever they were going to ask must have been weighing on their mind enough to scare them. You could tell that they were trying to hide it, but your ability to read people's subtleties was strong.

“Thank you, ma’am. I wanted to ask for your advice. What should we be aware of if we’re ever in a similar situation with an unstable or unpredictable suspect? What do we do?” 

You nodded and thought for a moment before you responded. You had a feeling that this type of question would come up now or through an email later on. Fiddling with your ring, you spoke.

“To be honest, you have to be able to assess everything at the moment. I may have seemed to have a handle on the situation externally, but internally? I was a quivering, frantic, and terrified mess. With Henry’s focus being solely on me, I knew I couldn’t just sit there. I knew that if I froze, it could have cost not only my life but also Hannibal’s.” You took a deep inhale through your nose before continuing. The thought of losing Hannibal hurt your heart. “My advice: really focus on the suspect. What are they saying? How are they saying it? What are they doing? Are there any mannerisms o-or phrases that hint at any sort of soft spot?” 

You held up a finger and turned to your computer, scrolling back through your presentation until you found the slide you were looking for. It was a diagram showing how all of the victims tied to Henry as well as Henry’s symptoms. You turned back towards your class.

“While I knew a majority of this information before my encounter with Dr.Urik, I only knew the facts at face value. When he and I talked about his experiences with all of these doctors, Henry let his anger and annoyance towards these men out. His voice changed from the seemingly calm and confident man that had just had a gun pointed at me, to a frustrated patient who just wanted answers that he believed in.”

“Now if we want to talk about more physical tells, that is the premise for another lecture entirely. You can tell a lot about a person without either of you having to utter a word.”

You looked at the trainee, they were watching you, truly listening to everything you had to say. From the almost unnoticeably tensed jaw to the stiff posture, this future agent was using all of their power not to tremble in fear at the thought of being in a scenario like this. You saw the fear in their eyes.

“As long as you breathe, remember your training, and let yourself fully assess the situation at hand, you’ll do the best you can do. Trust me, there were two very distinct moments that night where I thought and accepted the possibility that I was going to die. That’s a risk we all take with this job. But I focused on what I could do next and kept going. And that’s what you’ll learn throughout your time in training and in the field. You cannot stop, you have to keep going.”

You ended with a smile directly to the trainee to try to calm their nerves even a little bit. They visibly took a deep breath and nodded, giving you a quiet “thank you” before writing something in their notebook. Your saw movement out of the corner of your eye. Will and Hannibal were now standing off to the side, letting you know that you were almost done. Will was more rigid than usual. You assumed he heard the part about accepting death and he did not like that thought. 

Hannibal caught your eye as he tapped his watch. Nodding, you looked back to the class, prepared to dismiss them. That was until you saw a hand near the back. Before you could say or do anything, the man with the raised hand spoke. 

“How were you able to confirm the Scalpel’s motive? What stood out with him that made him suspect number 1?” You took a slightly larger breath as you realized it was one of the assistant directors speaking. Blinking a few times and gathering your thoughts you tried to sound as professional as you could. 

“Well, we originally were looking for an active doctor. Someone who could have access to the equipment and drugs needed for these killings. But then we realized that it could be a former doctor who was now a patient of these doctors.” You gestured to the slide projected behind you. “As for motive, we could only theorize until we talked to Henry himself. And while talking to him face-to-face last week revealed a lot, we cannot actually confirm anything when it comes to his psyche.”

“But you said it yourself, he was frustrated at the answers that these doctors had given him. So wouldn’t the Virginia Scalpel murders be crimes of passion, making his motive emotional overload?” The man spoke. You were thrown off just a bit, but found your way back to correct wording.

“They actually weren’t crimes of passion. Those are usually impulsive and emotionally driven. The Virginia Scalpel crime scenes, especially that of Dr.Pencalt and his wife, showed us that Henry was methodical and purposeful.” 

“Yes, there could have been an emotionally charged aspect to it. He was upset with these men. I theorized with Dr.Lecter and Special Agent Crawford that these killings could have been some sort of pain relief for his headaches. The act of slaying these men took all of his focus, alleviating the pounding in his head.” 

“At one point, he said that killing was a form of mercy and life could be considered torture. So he could very well have just wanted to spare them from this mortal coil. Or maybe Henry saw these murders as a way of honoring them. Maybe there was even a thrill-seeking aspect that he got a kick from.” You stood up from your spot on your desk, feeling yourself getting a bit weary after so much talking over the last hour or so, and tried to politely wrap this all up.

“Where I’m going with this is the fact that we can theorize all we want-- Hell, we can even settle on what we believe his motive was. But that’s all it’ll be: A belief. We will never truly know because Dr. Urik was found dead in the woods behind his former office building, stabbed a handful of times, and had enough of his own paralytic drug in his system to take down an ostrich.”

They were out of your sightline, but Hannibal and Will both smirked at how well you had handled the situation. It wasn’t often that managerial positions were proven wrong in front of a classroom full of people. However, both of their smiles slowly fell as the assistant director continued.

“I guess his death is a breath of fresh air, right? You can sleep at night knowing that the Virginia Scalpel is no longer out there. No more target on your back.” The assistant director tried to say that as a lighthearted joke. Something to lighten the mood. But you forced a pained smile and spoke your mind.

“Yes. I am thankful that I don’t have to worry about a scalpel cutting into my cheek again, or almost slicing my throat, or finding Dr. Lecter chopped into pieces in his bed or maybe even Henry breaking his pattern and going after the last bit of family that I have left. I guess sleeping should be easier, shouldn’t it?” 

You looked directly at the man as you spoke, the gravity of your situation and the insensitivity of his statements hitting him. You shifted your gaze to the trainees that were in the first few rows and continued, straightfaced. 

“But I am curious as to what he would have to say and how that perspective could have helped us catch others like him. I hope that you all can find that same curiosity as I do. If we can catch them and talk to them, we could learn what makes them tick and get information that could help us catch the next one before it's too late.” You let a beat of silence pass, letting your words sink into the minds of the young ones. “Thank you all for your time. For questions regarding the Virginia Scalpel case, please contact Special Agent Crawford and he will see if you are authorized to view the file notes. If you need to reach me for any reason other than the Virginia Scalpel case, you all have my email. Stay safe out there.” 

You turned away from the class and shut down your computer, trying to gather your things as the room applauded. You raised a hand as a way of saying “thank you but please stop” and they all filed out of the room. 

“I think that went well despite Assistant Director Ass-Hat’s commentary at the end there” Will made his way to you, grabbing your jacket from the chair behind you and holding it in his hands, gripping it tighter than normal as if doing so would solidify in his brain that you were here and safe.

“Thanks. For someone with a shaken brain, I think I did pretty good today.” You joked back at your brother. Looking over your shoulder, you saw the beginnings of his brain spiraling with worry. 

If he was being honest, Will still hasn’t fully gotten over the events of last week. It was his exact fear almost coming true. And while he was forever thankful that you were alive today, he was worried that this near-death experience wouldn’t be enough to stop you from continuing to work active cases. The fact that you wanted to give this presentation so soon after you were released from the hospital validated his worry more and more.

“I still think it’s too soon for you to be back here.” 

“If you had your way, I would never step foot near this building again, Will.” You joke over your shoulder as you slide your laptop into your bag. “But I also think that that is just your way of trying to get me to be a 24/7 dog sitter.” Will huffed out a breath that sounded like a dry chuckle.

“I’m not saying that, but if you ask Winston or the others, I’m sure they would be all for that idea.” 

You finally turn fully to Will and lightly smack his arm. His face fades from a small smile to an unmasked face of worry as he looks down at the jacket in his hands that he is still fiddling with.

“I know this isn’t going to change your decision on whether or not you stay with Jack’s team, but I really don’t like that idea.” 

“You said the same thing the first time we had this conversation.”

“Yes, but that was before you got seriously injured while working a case.”

“I wasn’t seriously injured.” Will was going to interject, but you kept talking. “But I understand. What we do is dangerous. But I’m going to say the same thing I said last time: I have the chance to save lives, and that is a good enough reason for me to stay.” 

Before either of you could continue, Hannibal finally made his way over. His hand landed comfortably on your lower back for a long moment to alert you of his presence. 

You and Hannibal had talked about your mutual feelings for one another and agreed to start exploring a romantic relationship. That being said, you haven't told Will yet. Luckily, the gesture from Hannibal was easily passed as friendly to your unknowing brother.

“The assistant director wanted me to pass along his apology, (Y/N). He didn’t mean to insult you with his statements.” You waved your hand dismissively.

“I know he didn’t mean to. But it was a nice excuse to hand a ‘powerful male’ his ass in front of a whole room. I’m sure his ego will bounce back in no time.” You let a devilish smirk grace your features, earning a smile from Hannibal and a chuckle from Will. 

Hannibal looked to Will and saw how he was holding your jacket. Hannibal just offered his hand.

“I can take that, Will. You should go. You don’t want to be late for your own lecture. I will make sure your sister is safe.” 

The hospital discharged you, but you were still healing. The cut on your cheek was almost healed, but you kept a bandage on it to be safe. A scar would surely form, permanently reminding you of your first case. Most people would associate it with the fear of impending doom by the hands of a serial killer. But you were actually okay with it. You saw it as a reminder of what you were able to survive.

The most inconvenient thing was that you weren’t allowed to drive yourself. Between the healing concussion and the medications you were on, driving was not the safest thing. So Hannibal and Will took it upon themselves to compare schedules and be your drivers. 

When Hannibal had afternoon patients or had to work late on something, you would stay with Will. On days where Will was needed at work, you would stay with Hannibal. Sometimes you would stay in their homes, and sometimes they would crash on your couch. Well, Will would crash on your couch. Hannibal would share the bed with you, protecting you from anything that would try to get you physically or mentally. 

Even when you decided to stay at Hannibal’s home, you felt safe. The dining room was a bit haunting. But you knew that no matter what, if something felt off or if you were in any sort of danger, Hannibal would step up and help the best he could. 

Your boys (and the dogs) made sure you were safe no matter where you were.

 If there was anyone Will trusted to watch over you, it was Hannibal. He was the reason you weren’t the Scalpel’s ninth victim.

Will just nodded and struggled to hand over the jacket. Your heart ached because you knew how easily concerned he got when it came to you. But you could also see that he was trying to let go of some of that worry, letting himself see that Hannibal was a safe man to have in your life. You closed the gap between you and Will and wrapped your arms around him, feeling how tense and distraught he was. 

“I will text you as soon as I get home, alright?” Will nodded his head as he squeezed you just a bit tighter. You squeezed back, knowing he needed the reassurance. He pulled away and you patted his shoulder. “Don’t give your kids too much shit today.” 

You both snorted, knowing there was some truth behind the joke. Will said goodbye to Hannibal and left the room, leaving you and Hannibal alone. 

As much as you wanted to hurry up and get out of here, you had to lean against the desk as you zipped up your bag, really feeling your lack of energy now.

“Are you alright?” Nodding, you took a sip from your water bottle before speaking.

“Yes? Did a lot of talking and thinking today. I think I’m starting to get tired.” You let a chuckle-esque exhale come through your nostrils. “Gotta build my energy back up.”

Hannibal stood in front of you, gently placed your jacket down on the desk, and took one on your hands in his. To any normal person, it just looked like he was holding your hand to comfort you. But you knew him. He was gathering data: Pulse, temperature, if your hands were clammy, and whatever else he could find out. But he was also holding your hand to comfort you a little.

After determining your vitals to be manageable, he lifts his hand to brush a few strands of hair from your face, letting his thumb stroke your cheek for a moment.

“I think it's time to go home and rest, don’t you?” Hannibal proposed. You nodded and grabbed your jacket from next to you.

“My place or yours?”

“Your choice, my love.” You couldn’t help but smile at the new and special sobriquet that Hannibal had started using more frequently. Hannibal kissed the back of your hand before helping you stand up, putting your hand on his arm to guide you out.

“I think my place tonight. And maybe we can stop at the store on the way and you can finally show me how to cook something worthy of the esteemed food artist, Hannibal Lecter?” Hannibal smirked at your dramatics.

“Do you think you’ll have the energy for that?” 

“No. But I’d still like to try.” You leaned towards Hannibal and felt a pleading smile make its way across your face, knowing Hannibal was already going to agree to your idea. He still pretended to think it over before nodding. 

“That sounds like a lovely evening.” You felt yourself wiggle just a bit out of happiness, Hannibal smiled at the cuteness of the motion.

Hannibal reached out and touched the doorknob, but before he could open the door, you were distracted by your phone buzzing in your pocket. When you looked at the caller ID, your feet stopped moving and your heart dropped. You couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or excitement. Maybe a weird mix of both.

Hannibal turned to you, watching your face carefully as you answered.

“(Y/N) speaking.” 

“How you feelin’, (Y/N)?” You hadn’t heard Jack’s happy voice in a while. You weren’t sure if this one was real or fake. So you proceeded with caution.

“I’ve been better, but I’m also doing a lot better compared to a few days ago.” 

“Good. Good...” Crawford trailed off, his mind obviously on something else. 

There was an awkward silence. You knew Jack was trying to figure out how to phrase something without stressing you out after the last couple of weeks. You knew what that something was and you appreciated the effort to try and not overwhelm you, but you didn’t like this small talk part. So you took a deep breath before kick-starting the conversation that you knew Jack was trying to ease into.

“I get the feeling that this isn’t a social call, is it, Jack?”

“No. It is not, (Y/N). We have another odd case that we could use your help with.” 

You felt your thumb subconsciously go to wiggle your ring. You knew this conversation was going to happen eventually, but even knowing that didn’t lessen the anxiety you felt. Hannibal stepped closer and took your hand in his, lightly running his thumb across your knuckles. You knew he was trying to ease your mind with the small gesture. You mouthed “Thank you” to him and smiled. 

Jack continued before you could say anything. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. But the sooner the better.”

“How about I get back to you tomorrow afternoon?” You stated more than asked. Jack agreed to that and hung up. Hannibal could see that you weren’t stressed but you also weren’t excited. 

“I take it Agent Crawford wants to borrow your mind again?” You nod your head, going back and forth in your mind about whether or not to take him up on his offer again or let yourself rest for a bit longer. “What’s stopping you from saying yes?”

“Not much to be honest.” You look at Hannibal and see him watching you, ready to react to anything you say or do. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” 

“Could you be my partner, Hannibal?” You ask and almost fear his response. You didn’t want to be a burden. But very quickly you are met with that lovely rare smile of his. 

“It would be an honor to be your partner, in life and on a case.” You smile as you lean towards him and he meets you halfway, pecking your lips softly, his hand smoothing its way to your back. The two of you pull away and he ushers you out of the room. “After all, someone has to protect that beautiful and reckless mind of yours.” 

You shot Hannibal a look as the two of you walked to his car, ready for one more relaxing night before jumping right back into the chaos.

[lifeofroos]

Part 33 - a bonus chapter! Thanks to MKDemiGodzilla-Warrior for giving feedback on the last bonus chapter. I hope this is less confusing to read!

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this bonus chapter, Dionysus reflects on being a therapist. The rest of the story can be found on AO3, FanFiction.net and in Tumblr tags like Nico di Angelo, Fanfiction, Dionysus etc. 

This Might Be Crazy: Bonus chapter (part 33): Lemon Water 

‘A crisis?’

‘A crisis. Well, something Zeus considers a crisis. I have no idea when it will start yet, but I don’t care. It buys us extra time.’ Dionysus stroked a strand of hair out of Ariadne’s face. She took a deep breath and pulled Dionysus into a hug. ‘We must have at least an hour...’ 

Ariadne pulled back a little, so she could kiss him. ‘It’s never long enough.’

After a few minutes of trying to make up for lost time, Dionysus took a step back. ‘Are you feeling better?’

Ariadne nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Very good. Eh, I mean…’ he sighed. ‘Hm.’

Ariadne got a sly smile on her lips. ‘Still stuck in therapy mode? Helping the son of Hades must be no easy feat.’

‘Well, no.’

She gave him a look only she could pull off. ‘Won’t you tell me more?’ 

He grabbed her hand. ‘Are you really going to… analyse the therapist?’

‘Yes.’ Nothing else said. 

‘Hm.’ 

‘Come on.’ She slowly beckoned him towards the sofa on the balcony, from which they could look out over the vinery that encircled the palace. They sat down. Ariadne laid her head against Dionysus’ shoulder. 

He took a deep breath. ‘I mean, he is not the first person I am helping with mental issues. You know that.’ 

‘I do.’

‘However, the people I helped before were never just ordinary people. Not to say that Nico is an ordinary child, but he is not famous, or royalty, or both. By some means, he is a regular kid. Yet, he has already been through so much. And I wish it would be different. I wish he would not need me. Then he could be happier.’ 

Ariadne sighed. ‘He is a Hades kid. Often, that complicates stuff…’

‘But it should not be that way!’ Dionysus stretched his arms out, so that he accidently hit her against her ribs. ‘Oh, sorry, are you…’

‘Ah, it’’s okay’

‘Are you sure…’

‘Yes.’

They looked at each other until they were both smiling. Then, Dionysus continued. ‘As I said, it shouldn’t be that way. Hades kids should not be classified as unhappy because of who their father is.’

‘I agree.’ 

‘Then… then you agree. You get it.’

She gave him a sarcastic look, with a sly smile. ‘I tend to get what you are saying.’

‘Of course.’ He slid his arm around her waist.

Ariadne’s gaze trailed off. ‘Dionysus, Do you recognise part of yourself in him?’

Dionysus thought about it for a second. ‘I would say slightly more than I already do in most demigods, because he also has no memories of his mother. But that is it, I think.’ He sighed. ‘It was  difficult  to listen to him talk about Maria di Angelo. It hit a little too close to home.’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘There… there are other things that are difficult to talk about because of myself, but usually I can easily hide them away for a moment. At least I like to think so. The issue is more that I cannot often voice them out loud.’ He pulled Ariadne closer. ‘It is not something I want to talk to Chiron about.’

Ariadne stroked his hair out of his face. ‘Why not? He was your mentor too, once.’

‘Still. Now I am his colleague.’ 

‘Hm.’ 

After a moment of stillness, Dionysus continued: ‘Yes, the kid has a difficult time. But I  glad to see that he trusts me and that he progresses. He has been...’

‘... Trying to make amends with his father, Hades?’

‘Yes. How do you even know? Ah well, probably intuition.’ 

‘Probably? We have been married for threethousand years, of course it is intuition.’

‘That has been proven once again. But yes, he has been going to Hades and tt has a positive effect on both of them. Hades is beginning to change his behaviour. It has been going babystep by babystep, but still, that is no easy feat after thousands of years of acting the same way.’

‘...yes.’ 

Dionysus gave her a side look. Ariadne didn’t answer it. 

‘Overall Nico has grown so much in just a few months. Even when he got into a bit of a slump… he got out of it. He found healthy ways to cope.’

‘...that is great of him.’ 

They sat in silence for a few moments. Ariadne slid her hand into his and sighed. 

‘...you are still thinking of what I said about Hades. Perhaps even that I should try the same thing. Change old behaviour and take better care of the demigods...’ She looked him dead in the eye. ‘...of myself.’ 

‘You deserve to feel better. That is something you always say to your new patients. I think you can do it, you did it before.’

‘Well… then I had you to support me.’

‘Dionysus, you still have me to support you. The only reason I haven’t broken the rules yet - the way you did yourself, by the way, when something happened - is because you don’t want it. I’ll come down to camp every day if it meant you’d be happier, no matter what would happen.’ 

‘And I can’t let you do that.’

‘There is a point in time where I just will.’

‘I know.’

They moved even closer. For a short moment, it was silent, until Dionysus looked at her again. ‘How’s the bar coming along?’

Ariadne shot him look to show him that she knew he was changing the subject, but she couldn’t help but smile. ‘Oh, it is going quite good. I’ve branched out, there is also a location in Portland now...’

For the rest of the hour, they talked about this and that, trying to get everything out of their time that they could, until someone inevitably rang the bell that indicated it was time for the Olympians to go to the throne room. Unwillingly, Dionysus got up. ‘I… hope I’ll see you soon.’

‘You will.’ It sounded definitive. Ariadne leaned in for one more kiss, before she put her hands on her hips. ‘Now go.’ They both tried to smile, until Dionysus teleported away, separating them once again. 

Ariadne turned around. She saw the glasses of Lemon water, which she had already poured out. She had completely forgotten about them. She snickered. Oh well. 

A/N: There should be more Ariadne fanfiction. I am being denied my rights. 

Was this sappy? Yes. Do I care? Nein. 

Imagine being married to Dionysus for literal thousands of years. 

Actually, imagine being married to anyone for literal thousands of years and then suddenly they are ripped away from you. 

Also, my headcanon is that they are actually poly, because I think it makes sense mythology-wise. It actually does so with a few devine couples. 

Btw, the reason I go through with numbering the bonus chapters is because otherwise the chapter numbers will get confusing to me. Also after this, the upload schedule will continue as usual. But I don't think a bonus chapter is really a bonus chapter unless it is well, a bonus, an extra. 

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Twenty Five

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

February 12th, 1995 Remy tapped lightly on Toby’s door, almost afraid to approach his brother, even though he really needed to. Toby looked up from the book he was reading, and smiled, and Remy felt some small part of him settle at the expression. “Hey, Rem. Something up?” he asked.

“Uh...yeah,” Remy said. “Can I come in?”

Toby nodded, and Remy walked in, closing the door behind him with a soft click. Toby’s eyebrows rose. “Wow, this must be serious,” he said. “You never close the door unless you don’t want Mom or Dad snooping.”

Remy shifted uncomfortably. “Toby...I...I think I have a crush on someone, and I don’t know what to do!”

“Oh, well, that’s okay!” Toby said. “What’s her name?”

“It’s...uh...his name is George. He’s in my Geography class,” Remy blurted.

Toby blinked, before moving to sit on the edge of his bed and pat the mattress next to him. “Sit down, Rem, we can talk about it.”

“Promise you won’t tell Mom and Dad?” Remy asked.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Toby said solemnly.

  April 11th, 2001

Remy was giggling at a story Clara was telling him about what she had done over spring break. He would be the first to admit that they had a rocky start, but they slowly became friends through Emile’s gentle coaxing and prodding, and after various apologies from Remy, ones that he actually meant. Now, they had a pretty strong friendship, strong enough that Clara was willing to admit that she had participated in the worst drinking game of her life when her and her friends took a shot everytime someone in a cheesy rom-com upped the unresolved sexual tension.

Emile was hanging around nearby, and a few of their other friends were all here as well. It wasn’t their apartment, though, it was actually Theo’s house that they had come to. Theo had wanted to check up on Remy, Emile had come with, and a few of their friends were already over there, so they decided to throw an impromptu party.

As Clara got into a particularly funny bit, about how Benny had taken two shots instead of one and wound up laughing so hard he fell out of his chair and couldn’t get up for a solid minute, Remy laughed hard himself, until he felt a hand brush against his shoulder, and looked up to see Emile standing there. He grinned. “Something up?” he asked.

“Just wanted to see how you were holding up,” Emile asked.

“Oh, we’re good,” Remy said, gesturing to Clara. “She’s an amazing story-teller.”

“You’re a great audience,” Clara laughed back.

“Yeah, he’s a great listener, when he wants to be,” Emile laughed. “But all too often he doesn’t want to.”

“Hey,” Remy objected.

“Sorry, babe, but it’s true,” Emile laughed.

Remy’s brain made that record scratch noise, and he frowned. “What did you just say?”

“What, bad nickname?” Emile asked, frowning. “I thought, you know, you wouldn’t mind, being boyfriends and all...”

Remy blinked uncomprehendingly at Emile. “Boy...friends...?”

“I...yes?” Emile asked, frowning.

Remy just frowned deeper. “That isn’t a very funny joke, Emile.”

“What? Remy, this isn’t a joke, I genuinely thought...” Emile looked crestfallen. “No, we...we went on a date! You had fun and laughed and I paid!”

“When?!” Remy asked. “We never did that!”

The whole room had gone silent as the two stared each other down. Emile’s eyes were filling with tears, and he took off his glasses, wiping at his eyes. “No...no, we did...I didn’t dream it...”

“You had to, because we never went on a date!” Remy insisted.

“No! I remember! We went to the minigolf course, and we made that bet, and we had pizza afterward, and you made a gay joke when I got sappy! That wasn’t a dream!” Emile practically demanded.

Remy blinked again. Took a breath. Took another. Opened his mouth to speak, only to have nothing come out. Eventually, he just squawked, “That was a date?!”

“Yes!” Emile exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “Yes, Remy, that was our first date! Or at least...I thought it was...” He turned away, starting to cry. “Clearly, you didn’t think so.”

Remy couldn’t figure out how to respond to that. “That counts as stuff you can do on a date...But...but this is me we’re talking about!” Remy exclaimed, leaping to his feet. “I’m not...I’m not boyfriend material, I’m not worth sticking around for!”

“Yes you are!” Emile exclaimed.

“But...I don’t understand,” Remy said, blinking, frowning. “Why would you want to stay...with me? I hurt you. I tried to break you. Why would you stay?”

Emile shrugged. “Do I have to have a reason?”

“Most people tend to,” Remy said, crossing his arms. He was crying now, too, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Okay, here’s one,” Emile said, leaning forward and kissing Remy chastely on the lips for half a second, just a ghost of a feeling, before Emile pulled back. “I love you.”

Remy stared at Emile in shock. “But...what?!” he whispered. “I’m not...what?! I’m just...me!”

“Oh, that’s the point, you idiot! Don’t you understand?! I realized that I loved you too late!” Emile was almost shouting. “And then I thought I might have a chance! I thought you realized I was asking you out! I thought you were up for giving ‘us’ a shot! But no! Apparently, I was wrong! Again!” Emile crossed his arms, backing away from Remy.

Remy moved forward without realizing he was moving, and Emile shied away from him. Remy couldn’t hide the hurt on his face, but he gently took one hand, and cupped Emile’s cheek, turning him toward Remy. Remy moved to fill the space between them, and slowly, brought his lips to Emile’s, giving Emile every chance to back away.

But Emile didn’t back away. His arms dropped, his lips moved with Remy’s, a little out of rhythm, but tender and sweet all the same. Remy could taste the salt from both of their tears and after a minute, he broke out of the kiss, eyes searching Emile’s face. Emile looked so broken, so desperate, and it broke Remy’s heart. He couldn’t believe that he had at one point wanted Emile like this. It sent a horrible feeling into the pit of his stomach. “Emile,” he said softly. “I don’t understand why you would want me, but if you’ll have me, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

Emile’s face crumpled and he threw himself into Remy’s arms, sobbing. Remy shushed him and hugged him fiercely, unwilling to let go, lest they both fall apart into nothing. When they had both calmed down, and taken a step back, somewhat unable to look each other in the eye, Theo-and most of the people around them, honestly-started cheering and clapping. “Who won the betting pool?!” Theo asked. “It happened over spring break, y’all, who won it?!”

One of the quieter friend’s hands shot up. “I did! I totally called it, from the second they moved in together over winter break!”

Remy blinked, looking around. “I’m sorry...did everyone know that we were getting together except us?”

“Pretty much!” Clara said brightly. “There’s been a betting pool that actually extends beyond our friend group to most of the people the both of you work with who also go to our college. And of course, Mister Quiet over there won both of those, because nobody else bet on spring break.”

“Really?” Emile asked.

“Well, we all thought that Theo baiting you, Emile, was gonna make that happen a little sooner,” Clara explained. “We honestly expected the two of you to get together before spring break. Or at least, most of us did.”

“I hate. Every last one of you,” Remy said, gesturing around the room. “Every last one of you mortals. And don’t forget that Emile doesn’t count in that, because he’s an angel, and angels are not mortal.”

Emile laughed and pecked Remy on the cheek, causing Remy to grow bright crimson. “Stop,” he whined. “You’re not allowed to do that, it’ll ruin my image!”

“Oh, and here I thought you didn’t like being kissed,” Emile teased, giving Remy another peck.

“Emile!” Remy whined. “Nooo!”

“Yeees!” Emile replied, in a similar tone and dragging his vowels out just as much. “Come on, Rem, you know you love me!”

“Mm. Debatable,” Remy grumbled.

“Ooh, uncertainty this early in a relationship, you two are in trouble,” Theo teased.

“Are not!” Remy protested.

“Mm, I have to agree with Theo,” Clara said.

“Teasing is a healthy part of relationships,” Remy said. “It shows trust in the other person, and shows you where the lines you shouldn’t cross are before you say something that really hurts their feelings.”

Emile laughed. “For all your talk about hating shrinks, you’re certainly starting to sound like one.”

“Yeah, well, that’s your fault. And maybe slightly Kim’s, but you make me see Kim, so it’s ultimately your fault, still,” Remy said with a teasing grin.

Emile rolled his eyes as Remy blew a kiss at him. “I still say you seeing Kim is a good idea,” Emile said.

“Oh no, yeah, it is,” Remy assured. “It definitely is. Like, in a year or so I might be better and not need to see her as much or at all, because, y’know, we’ve gone through a lot of crap already and she’s helping me a lot, but right now...she’s a good influence, I guess? And a fresh perspective. One which I wasn’t aware I needed.”

Emile hummed. “So you don’t resent me for that?”

Remy draped himself over Emile’s shoulder dramatically and he said, “Mm, I resent you a little still.”

Emile burst out laughing and Remy wound up giggling too. “Okay, see, I don’t understand how you can call yourself cool still if when I make a joke, or I start laughing, you giggle in response.”

“I do not giggle!” Remy protested. “I chuckle!”

“No, you definitely giggle, Rem,” Emile said with a smile. “Chuckling is lower in pitch. Your laugh is too high to be considered a chuckle.”

“That doesn’t automatically designate it a giggle!” Remy exclaimed.

“Get a room, you two!” Theo said, cupping his hands around his mouth as he spoke.

Emile turned pink but Remy just stuck his tongue out at Theo before continuing to drape himself over Emile. “Are you going to continue to use me as furniture?” Emile asked, sounding a cross between annoyed and amused.

“What’s the matter, babe? Don’t like me being touchy with you?” Remy teased.

“You, sir, are the worst,” Emile said.

Remy pulled a face. “Don’t call me sir,” he said.

“Fine. You, ma’am, are the worst,” Emile said.

Everyone in the room laughed save for them. Remy smiled slightly and ducked his head, and Emile pushed some of Remy’s hair out of his face. Emile whispered in his ear, “Do you want me to call you girl?” he asked.

“Nah,” Remy murmured back. “Just don’t feel like being called ‘sir’ today.”

“Gotcha,” Emile replied, somewhat louder. “But I’m going to sit down now.”

He sat down next to Clara, leaving Remy to stand on his own. Remy stuck his tongue out at Emile. Emile did it back with a smug grin, and oh, boy, did Remy want to teach him a lesson. What kind of lesson, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he wanted to teach it, just to get Emile to stop being so smug.

Theo turned on music before walking over to Remy. “You know everyone’s known that you and Emile liked each other for forever, right?” he asked.

Remy shook his head. “I certainly know now, at least. Why would you agree to a one-night stand with me if you were convinced I loved Emile?”

“I wasn’t looking for anything serious,” Theo said with a shrug. “So if you wanted to run back to Emile, it would be no problem. I can find someone on either side who suits my fancy, and you can have Emile.”

“The love of my life,” Remy said, words dripping sarcasm.

“Hey, you never know,” Theo said. “People are getting married by the time they’re juniors or seniors, you guys could wind up falling in real love, not just like, crushes and infatuation.”

Remy looked at Emile, who had started laughing with Clara and resisted the urge to smile at the fact that Emile was now his dorky boyfriend. He wouldn’t want to say anything definite, but he certainly wouldn’t object to marrying Emile, at least, not right now. He knew the honeymoon phase was already swinging in strong, but if that passed and they still liked each other...enjoyed each other’s company...well, marriage seemed like the valid option. Except... “I’m not sure if we could get married, being a gay couple and all,” he pointed out.

“Well, it’s the twenty-first century, man,” Theo said with a grin. “Some laws? They’ve just gotta change eventually.”

Remy looked back at Emile, who was now laughing hard enough to have tears in his eyes. “Yeah,” he allowed. “Some things have to change.” He hoped that Emile was never one of them.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 63

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @ocfairygodmother​

  With a late afternoon rain came a break in the oppressive humidity; a much cooler breeze appearing as the sun began to set.   The four oldest are already tucked into bed;  satisfied and content after daddy obliged every request for ‘just one more story’ and they were spoiled with seemingly endless cuddles, hugs, and kisses.  So relaxed and secure knowing that he’s under the same room that sleep came easily to all of them; worn out from not only the excitement of him showing up unexpectedly, but then spending every waking moment of the rest of the day vying for his attention. Constantly talking over one another, fighting over who go to sit on his shoulders when they showed him the animals, squabbling over who got to be beside him at dinner. It’s only been four days since they’d seen him at the airport, but it may as well have been a lifetime to them; ten minutes not nearly enough to erase the ache in their little hearts or the feeling of loneliness inside of them.

While not exactly a constant fixture in their lives at times because of the job and its unpredictability, he’d always been a hands-on father; starting right from the moment they found out there was a baby -or babies, in this twins’ case- on the way. Attentive and loving and even more protective than usual; determined to keep both her and the life inside of her as safe, secure, and healthy as possible. Feeling pride and wonder that he’d even been given the chance to be a father again; able to create life and nurture it when in all aspects, he should have died that day on the Sultana Kamal Bridge.  Every one of the pregnancies...everyone of the kids...serving as reminders of not only  just how lucky he’d gotten that  day, but that someone who’d made the mistakes and the bad decisions he’d had could still be worthy enough to be a dad once more.  And he’s always been determined to be the best one he can possibly be; wanting to not only right all previous wrongs, but to prove that he could be a better man -and husband and father- than his old man had tried to teach him to be.  Loving his children with every shred of his being and devoting himself to every aspect of their care and upbringing; even things as simple and mundane as  changing diapers or giving them bottles or at the very least bringing to her for a feed.

As the first three got older, he took on new challenges and changes to guide them and help shape them for their futures.   Whether it be something as profound as encouraging them to be compassionate and accepting and loving, or something as ‘normal’ as teaching them to surf and play soccer or even learning how to braid his little girl’s hair. No task too big or too small. Never complaining about being woken up in the middle of the night or hesitating when it comes to both showing affection and receiving it. And as corny and as sappy as it sounds, Esme realizes just how fortunate she really is; having someone that is willing to do it all without having to even be asked. She’s heard plenty of horror stories from the moms at school; tales of lazy and useless husbands that complain about even a half an hour spent for their children. Always able to brag about him and then able to go  home knowing how she ‘lucked out’. Somehow, even during the craziest and possibly scariest time of her, managing to find the best possible person -and partner- to have a family with.

She stands by the open door of the balcony that leads off the bedroom she’d been ‘assigned to’. Both watching and listening to him as he lays flat on his back on  a two person lounge chair with Addie on his chest; her tiny fists curled tightly around his index fingers as she alternates between raising her head and resting her chin against him.  Those  enormous dark eyes never leaving his face and  a happy -and completely genuine- smile taking over her face every time he talks to her; the corners of her eyes and the bridge of her nose crinkling. He changes when he’s with her. In the same way he had with all the others when they were babies.   This big, tough, strong man suddenly so gentle; his voice softer and calmer. Deeper, even. Enamored with her in the same way she is with him; his own eyes sparkling and crinkling and his own smile both testament to the fact that he finds her a complete wonder. Not quite believing that she really exists; questioning what he could have possibly done to deserve her.

He’s a wonder himself. So brave and fearless and capable of inflicting so much pain and suffering, yet possessing so much tenderness and love.  It would be so easy for him to be jaded and broken; to fall back into old habits and to become dependent on old, dangerous vices. But no matter how bad things get, no matter how difficult or impossible they seem, he puts all his time and effort into being a  good man. Into loving his wife and children with everything he has.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks, as she steps out onto the balcony, drawing her hoodie tight across her body.

Tyler tilts his head back and smiles up at her. “Nothing. Just hanging out. Talking.”

“I hope you’re not telling her gruesome stories.”

“I would never do that to my little peanut,” he declares, and runs a palm over Addie’s hair, hand settling on the back of her head. “Daddy would never do that to you. He saves that stuff for mommy.”

“Because mommy so wants to hear  your tales of killing people with garden tools. Look at the way she looks at you…” Esme leans over the back of the lounger and presses a kiss to his lips. “...like you’re got rainbows and glitter coming out of your ass or something. Already a daddy’s girl.”

“Nothing wrong with that. She knows who loves her the most. Who used to bring mommy tacos and ice cream and pop tarts at three in the morning when she was still in mommy’s tummy.”

“She definitely likes your voice. Not that I blame her; it’s a very nice voice.”

“She’s strong as hell already. Already holding her up on her own. None of the other ones did it that early. And she’s got a grip on her. Small and mighty. Like her momma. And you look just like your mom.”  he addresses Addie now, as he removes his fingers from her grip and lifts her higher onto his chest; lips resting briefly against her forehead. “Beautiful just like her. Daddy’s not going to complain that you didn’t get his genes.”

“How do you think I feel? The first four look just like you. It’s about time one of them took after me.  She does have your smile, though. Even her eyes and her nose wrinkle like yours do.”

“Yeah, but she’s all you. And that’s good,” he smiles up at her once more, as her hands slide over his shoulder and down his chest and she pecks the corner of his mouth. “It’s very good. She’s incredible. Just like you.”

“Are you hopped up on pain meds?” She teases.

“Not yet.  Why? I’m not allowed to be all sappy and shit with my wife?”

“You’re allowed,” she says, then sinks down beside him, accepting a short, sweet kiss before stretching out on her side. Chin resting on his good shoulder, one hand on his stomach and the other just above his head; fingers  gently combing through his hair. “She’s putting on weight. She’s going to graduate out of preemie clothes and diapers. Only took two and a half months.”

“She’s tiny. Like you.”

“I don’t understand how something that small can come from someone the size of you. None of the other kids were that small. Not even Tanner and he was sick. And Declan? Don’t even get me started on that kid. That was like giving birth to a toddler.”

“She’s always going to be tiny. I mean, you hit twelve and never grew again.”

“You know what, Tyler? Fuck you and your short jokes.”

“Don’t be bitter because you can’t get on the rides at the amusement park or reach things at the bottom of the washer.”

“You’re not very funny,” she grumbles, and presses a kiss to his chin. “Just because you’re absurdly tall and absurdly good looking. What a burden you have to live with every day. How do you manage? How do you carry such a heavy load all the time?”

“Heavy load? We’re talking about my dick?”

“You’re a pig,” she declares. “Don’t talk like that in front of my child. She doesn’t need to hear these things. Look at the way she smiles at you. You’re her favourite already. Not that I blame her; you’re my favourite too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. No one else comes close.”

He smiles, then turns his face into hers and kisses her. “We did good, yeah? With her?”

“We did. With all five of them. And at the risk of sounding conceited, we make some pretty damn good looking kids.”

“Some pretty amazing kids.”

“Well, they have an amazing dad, so…” she raises her head from his shoulder, regarding him intensely as she runs her fingers through his hair. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Tyler admits. “I really don’t.”

“Are you going to tell me about it, or…”

“I don’t really want to.”

“I think you should. I think you NEED to talk about it. And I think deep down, you want to. You don’t have to shelter me, Tyler.  I married a mercenary; I went into things understanding the life and knowing the risks. You don’t have to hide stuff from me. You think you’d realize that by now.”

“I do. But YOU should realize that I do it to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? You? Because that’s bullshit and you know it. I’ve never once been afraid of you. Not in the slightest. And despite what you think, you’re not a burden. We went into this...marriage, having a family...expecting to help shoulder each other’s problems.  So stop trying to do it all on your own. You’re strong, but you’re not THAT strong.”

He sighs heavily, then drops a kiss on the top of Addie’s head

“What happened, Tyler? Because I know this goes way beyond someone just jumping you. What the hell went wrong?”

“I don’t know. It was fucked up right from the beginning. As soon as I got there. It was this old factory turned into student housing or some shit. I had these four guys to take out; four shots, that’s all I needed. They were across the street at some bar or restaurant or whatever. I was waiting for them to come out. It should have been so fucking simple.”

Esme rolls over onto her stomach, chin resting on his chest as she regards him; patiently waiting for him to continue. She doesn’t push; that will only cause him to shut down completely. Instead she bides her time. Watching his face as her fingers fidget with the chain around his neck.

“Things started going to shit. The street lights kept going on and off; just the two right in front of us. Then they went out completely. So I went to get the scope out of my bag, so I could see what the fuck I was doing.”  His eyes narrow and his brow furrows as he attempts to recall the details.  “And I don’t know I saw him or heard him but all of a sudden he was just there?”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Just some guy. Big bastard. Wearing a black ski mask. It happened so fucking fast. I didn’t even get a chance to react. Nailed me right in the shoulder; like he knew where to get me. Where one of my weak spots is.”

“How would he know that?”

Tyler shrugs. “Nik there’s a mole. She said she’s looking into it, but I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything since.”

“What do you think”

“I think something’s fucked. He knew where to get me; knee, back, shoulder. He knew it and he took advantage of it.  I stand a fucking chance. That’s how quick he was. He was so fast, babe. He wasn’t fucking around.”

“And where did these come from?” She runs a hand along the enormous, painful to the touch bruises on his biceps; arm now out of the sling. At least for the evening. “Both arms? And that’s NOT from someone grabbing you.”

“It was his knees. He wanted to keep me still; so I couldn’t get to my holster or the rifle. Fucking kept grabbing me by the throat; trying to choke me out.  Kept asking me if I give up. I basically told him to go fuck himself. I wasn’t giving up. No way in hell. All I kept thinking about was you…” his voice cracks with emotion and tears well in his eyes. “...all I kept thinking about was you. About me getting a second chance and that I wasn’t done with it; I wasn’t ready to let that end. That I didn’t want to leave you or my kids. That I needed to survive. That YOU needed me to survive.”

“Tyler…” she presses a kiss to his cheek, then nestles her nose against his temple; eyes closed and her forehead against him, fingers still moving through his hair. “...it’s okay. Just breathe. That’s all you have to do. Just breathe.”

“I wasn’t going out like that. I wasn’t letting it end like that. I wasn’t letting US end. So I fought back. But I couldn’t get away. No matter what I did, it wasn’t good enough. He was so fucking strong, babe. Tall and big and heavy as fuck.”

“How did you get away?”

“I don’t know. There’s A LOT I don’t know. That I don’t remember. It’s all a big blur. It’s all there there and I know it’s all there but I can’t piece it together and none of it makes sense.”

“Well tell me what you do remember,” Esme encourages. “It doesn’t have to make sense. Just tell me whatever comes to you.”

“I know he drugged me. I remember that part.”

“Drugged you? What…?”

“He had a needle. I remember seeing it. I remember feeling it. Right there…” he lays a finger against the right side of his neck.  “...just jammed it in. It was cold; whatever was in it. It was cold and it burned.”

She heaves a long, shaky sigh; her own tears threatening. “If he wanted to kill you, why would he do that? Why…?”

“He didn’t want to kill me. He wanted to knock my ass out. He probably had a few buddies waiting to help get me out of there. I know that sounds crazy. It sounds fucked up even to me. But I know that’s what was going to happen; what Mahajan told them to do. And I don't know where they were going to take me. Somewhere in the city, out of it, I don’t know. But it wouldn’t have been good once they got me there.”

“I don’t even want what to think about it,” her voice trembles.

“They would’ve let you know. That I was still alive. And they would have made you sure you knew what they were doing to me. They would have sent you pictures or made me call you or mailed you pieces of me.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” she repeats, then promptly bursts into tears; one hand clutching the front of his shirt and the  other at his hair, face buried in his neck. “Please don’t. Don’t talk about it. Just stop.”

****

His shoulder throbs just with the simple act of laying his hand on Addie’s back to keep her secure. And he wraps his left arm around his wife’s trembling body, drawing her tightly into his side. Eyes closed and his chin resting on the top of her head; hand sliding up the back of her simple cotton t-shirt, knuckles repeatedly brushing up and down her spine. Not even attempting to hold his own tears back; feeling the moisture from hers settling on the side of his throat and his shoulder.

“I can’t think about it,” she whimpers. “I can’t. I can’t think about what they would have done to you.”

“It’s okay, baby. It doesn’t matter now. I’m here. It didn’t work. Whatever they had planned, I fucked it up. And I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“They’re sick and twisted fucks!” she cries. “And they would have made sure I knew what they were doing to do you and I wouldn’t have been able to do a goddamn thing about it. I wouldn’t have been to help or get you out of there. I wouldn’t have been able to do a fucking thing for you.”

“It’s alright, Esme. You don’t have to worry about it. It didn’t work. I fucked up everything for them  and now I’m here with you and the kids. Where I should have been all along.”

“I don’t understand,” she raises her head to look at him. “How did they know where you were?”

Tyler shrugs.

“How did they get that close to you? Close enough to do all of this? How…?”

“I must have slipped up somehow. Maybe my brain is worse than we thought. Maybe I’m slowing down. Making mistakes Maybe…”

“You don’t make mistakes,” she argues. “I know you. I know how you work. I’ve SEEN you work, You don’t slip. You don’t fuck up. And you are as hell aren’t slowing down. You’re even better now than you were back in Dhaka. And that’s saying a lot because you were pretty fucking amazing even then.”

“Something happened. I made a mistake somewhere.”

“YOU didn’t do shit. This isn’t on you, Tyler. This is not your fault. Someone fucked up, but it wasn’t you. Who was watching you? Where were they?”

“Across the street. Keeping an eye on shit.”

“Across the street?! How the hell were they keeping an eye on you from across the goddamn street?! Whose idea was that? Yours?”

“I didn’t want anyone breathing down my neck. I can’t work like that. I’ve NEVER been able to work like that. And it’s not like I knew was going to happen. I didn’t want in there expecting some fuck not come in and choke me out and stab me with a fucking needle.”

“Okay...okay...calm down…” Her tone is gentle, his face in her hands. “...it’s alright. I’m not attacking you. Just take a break; everything’s fine. Addie’s asleep. And so she’s tiny and she’s so warm and I know you don’t want to scare her. Calm down, okay?”  She presses a kiss to his lips. “Just stay calm.”

“I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“Who was supposed to be watching you?”

“Nathan. He had to take the four guys out when that fucking asshole came after me,”

“Calm…” she encourages, thumbs brushing over his lips. “...just stay calm. It’s okay. It's just you and me talking. No one else. No one’s judging you, Tyler.”

His eyes close, and he inhales deeply and exhales slowly. “Nathan,” he says, eyes opening and focusing on her. “Nathan was there; across the street. He took care of things. I don’t know what happened after that. Cops showed up, he took off. No one has seen or heard from him since.”

She frowns. “Nathan’s missing?”

“Missing. AWOL. I don’t fucking know. He’s gone. Cell and his SAT just go right to voicemail.”

“Could someone have gotten a hold of him? Could there have been someone else?”

“Why would they want him? What does holding him do? He’s a nobody to them. He means nothing to Mahajan. It’s me he wants. Taking Nathan does shit.”

“Well where could he be? Why would he just take off? That makes no sense.”

“Who the fuck knows. Maybe he’s dead. I have no idea. I just know he’s gone and no one knows where he is.”

“This is fucked up. Way more than we thought it was. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy. That Mahajan plays dirty and that he’d  just step it up as time went on. Now people are going missing? YOU almost went missing. What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know, babe. I really don’t know.”

“You need to walk away. This ends here. Your part is this. It ends right here, right now. Walk away, Tyler.”

“I can’t. The job isn’t even close to being finished.”

“Fuck the job. It’s finished for you. Look at you! Look what they did to you! They knew where you were, they knew what spots to target. They fucking drugged you!  That alone could have killed you. Do you even know what he gave you?”

“Ketamine. I guess it’s a sedative of some kind.”

“Yeah, for horses! What the fuck? What’s next? If they get that close again, what happens?”

“They won’t get another chance.”

“You don’t know that. They’re not going to stop, Tyler. Do you really think they’re just going to walk away? They’re not going to give up. Not until they get you. He knows you’re here. Mahajan. He knows you’re in Mumbai. And soon your name and your picture are going to be everywhere and every goddamn gun in this city is going to be pointed at you. Is that what you want? You WANT there to be?”

“No,” he scowls. “That’s NOT what I want.”

“Then why are you doing this? Why won’t you just walk away? Why can’t you just let Anil and his people and Nik and hers handle this? Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s MY family. Not theirs. Mine.”

“And your family wants you alive!” Esme retorts. “We don’t want you out there dying for us. We need you here. With us. So just tell Anil you’re walking away . That you HAVE to walk away. That you need to be with your family. Tell him.”

Tyler shakes his head. “I can’t, baby. I can’t do that.”

“You don’t need to do this. There’s other people who are more than capable of handling things. Walk away, Tyler. Before you can’t. Before it’s too late. Because if they go that close to you once, they’ll do it again. And this time it won’t be just one guy. It’ll be two. Or three. Or four. Or half a fucking dozen. Why aren’t you listening to me?”

“I am listening. You’re not listening to me.”

“This is a suicide mission. This is the kind shit you used to pull before we met. Don’t go back to that. Don’t go back to being him. He died a long time ago. You said it yourself; that he was long gone. You’re not the same person you were back then.  You have me and you have five little beings you helped make. That love you and need you in their lives.”

“I’m doing this for them. For he,” he nods down at Addie as she sleeps peacefully. “So she can grow up. So she can have a life.”

“A life without you. That’s what you’re saying, right? That you’re going to sacrifice yourself for her. For us.”

“We knew that going into this. That it would happen.”

“No. We thought it MIGHT happen. There’s a difference. And I’m asking you...NO...I’m telling you...walk away so you don’t have to make that choice. So it doesn’t come to that.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I am so sorry.”

“So what’s it? You’ve just decided that this is what’s going to happen? You just decided for yourself that you’re going to give up. You’re telling me that you’re okay with that. Dying for us.”

“I’ve already taken bullets for you. Trying to get you the fuck out of Dhaka. And I would take all of those bullets again. And then some. I would die for you in a heartbeat. For you, for my kids. No hesitation.”

“But you shouldn’t have to!” Esme argues. “And you don’t have to. Just walk away. Let other people handle this. Please. You have two choices and you’re making the wrong one. Why can’t you see that?”

“If I give myself up, he’ll leave you alone.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you? That that’s going to solve everything? Because it won’t. You offering yourself up like some kid of sacrificial fucking lamb is not the answer.”

“Hey...calm…” He reaches up and pushes a hand through her hair, tightly gripping the back of her head. “...you told me to stay calm for Addie. Now I need you to stay calm for her. She doesn’t need this. She's a baby. Just a baby.”

“Yeah, she is. She’s OUR baby. As in me and you. And she needs you. She needs her dad. They all do. And you’re sitting here telling me that you’re willing to offer yourself up. It’s bullshit and it’s insane and I want you to knock it the fuck off.”

“I said calm down!” He orders, then aggressively pulls her into him. Pressing a kiss to her forehead. “...just calm down. Please. Take it easy.”

“You are NOT doing this. I won’t let you. This is not what we talked about, This is not what we agreed on.”

“There’s no other choice.”

She shoves him away. “There’s always another choice! It doesn’t have to come down to this. You for us. It doesn’t need to be this way and you know it.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do. I can’t just walk away. I can’t.”

“Promise me when you walk out that door two days from now that won’t just go and offer yourself up. You don’t need to do that. There’s other ways. There’s still fight left in you. I know right now you feel like there isn’t. I know you're doubting yourself. But I have faith in you and I know you can handle this. WITHOUT giving yourself up. Promise me you’ll fight back. That you’re not just quitting. That THAT will be the last resort.”

“If I have no other choice, I’ll do it.”

“But right now you HAVE other choices. You know that, right? You see that?”

Tyler nods.

“Because you don’t give up. You NEVER give up. You’re alive today because you didn’t. So don’t fucking start now. I mean we’re supposed to be having another baby. And I don’t know if you realize how these things work, but I kind of need you for that.”

“I could always just jerk off into a cup and you save it.”

“Okay, you know what? No. I’d rather the old fashion way, thank you. I kind of like having sex with you. It’s kinda fun.”

He smirks. “Kinda?”

“Okay, it’s a lot of fun, actually. I didn’t think  I had to say that. I thought the results spoke for themselves. We don’t have kids for nothing. And I’d say go for the sixth one right now, but you jumped the gun and you decided we were done and go the old…” she holds her hand up, mimicking a pair of scissors with her index and middle finger.

“Not my best decision, I admit.”

“You have this uncanny ability of changing your mind about this whole having another baby thing. How many times have we decided that we’re stopping only for you to turn around and want another one the second the baby came home?”

“It’s never been THAT soon.”

“Excuse me? How old were the twins when you decided that three wasn’t enough after all?”

“Yeah…” he gives  a small, almost sad smile. “...but that one didn’t work out, did it.”

“No.” She presses a kiss to his temple. “It didn’t. And I know it was hard on you. That you didn’t really get to grieve like I did. I’m sorry for that. That I wasn’t there for you in the way you were for me. I’m pretty fucking selfish, aren’t I.”

“No, you’re not. You needed me a lot more than I needed you. Just hard sometimes still. Thinking about it. It was a shitty fucking time. I didn’t think anything could hurt THAT bad.”

“Do you ever wonder? What it would have been?”

“Sometimes,” he admits, running a palm over Addie’s hair and then laying it gently on the top of her head; thumb repeatedly brushing against her ear. “Sometimes I’ll think about it; if it would have been a boy or a girl and what they would have looked like. Then I think maybe things really do happen to reason, no matter how bad they are. If we had had that baby. Declan wouldn’t be here. And maybe we would have stopped after and Addie wouldn’t be here. And I wouldn’t trade either of them for anything.”

“You’re beautiful,” she says, feeling him grin when she kisses the corner of his mouth. “You have the most beautiful mind and this most beautiful heart. And I know you hate me using that word when it comes to describing you. But it’s true; I can’t help it.”

“I’ll let it slide. I’ll let you have it.”

“I have to say, despite my initial reservations about having another one, you do do the whole ‘big, strong man with a tiny baby’ thing very well.”

“You find it sexy don’t you.”

“Very. I find you very sexy. But this…” she trails her fingertips over the myriad of bruises that take up nearly every inch of his neck. “...this is scary. I’ve seen you with a lot of injuries. I’ve even seen you in the worst possible shape. But this? This bothers me the most for some reason. And what’s going on here…” she turns his face away from her and tender fingers investigate the scar left behind from Farhad. “...what were they trying to do? That’s the worst spot. I don’t think it would take much to fuck things up in there.”

“They knew exactly what to target.”

“Any idea who it was?”

“One of the guys off the list. Number 18. Weird part about it? He worked for Asif during the whole Dhaka thing. Guess he was his  right hand man. Moved on to Mahajan when Nik put a couple bullets into Asif.”

“Now that’s fucked, Go from drug lord to the other? So much for loyalty. How’d you kill him?”

“Shot him. Under the chin. I don’t know how I managed. Last thing I remember was that fucking needle. That’s it. Everything else is a blur. Came to and there was a dead body on top of me. I don’t even know how long I was out for.”

“You called me. Some time before you passed you. You don’t remember that, either?”

Tyler shakes his head.

“It freaked me out. I could hear you breathing and it sounded like you were trying to say something. That wasn't a random pocket dial, was it.”

“No. It wasn’t. I don’t even know why I called. I don’t know if I was calling you for help or if I thought I was dying and I wanted to tell you that I loved you…” his voice wavers once again and tears return to his eyes. “...if I wanted your voice to be the last thing I heard. And I wish I did remember it. That I called.”

“It’s okay.” She places a series of kisses across his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose. “...it’s okay now. You’re here and that’s what matters. You made it out of there. You found a way.  You always do.”

“What if I don’t next time? What if it is two guys? Or three or four? Half a dozen? A dozen?”

“I shouldn’t have put that in your head. I’m sorry.” She brushes the tip of her nose against his temple. “That is the last thing you needed to hear. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“I was thinking it long before you said it.”

“I know you want to stay on this. And I get it. I do…”  she runs her knuckles along his jaw, beard scraping her skin. “...I know you want to protect us. And I love you so much for that and I love that part of you so fiercely. You ALWAYS protect us. Everything you do, every decision you make, it’s always for us. But you can protect us without being out there. You know you can. I know you can.”

“How? If I don’t stop them, they’ll get to you. And the kids.”

“But if you’re here, you can stop them. And look at all the people that are here to help. Nik, all of Anil’s people. That’s a lot of fire power. And before you hand me that bullshit about how it’s up to you and only you to protect us, don’t even go there. Because you’re good, but not even you can stop them by yourself. You need help. So swallow your fucking pride and admit that. That you can’t do it alone.”

“I’m not alone. I’be some my guys and Nik’s people and…”

“You were alone the other night,” Esme points out. “What was Nathan going to do from across the street? That is not helping. That’s YOUR version of helping. If you’re here, under the same room as all these people, Mahajan and his cronies won’t stand a chance. We’re safer if you’re here. And I think you realize that.”

“It’s putting a bigger target on you and the kids,” he argues. “If they figure out I’m here, they’ll show up.”

“Isn’t that what we want? Them out in the open? Let them come here. With all these people? With you? They won’t get very far, will they At least tell me you’re listening and not blocking me out. Usually I can read your face, but right now I’m not so sure.”

“I’m not blocking you, babe. I’m listening.”

“It makes more sense for you to be here than it does for you to be out on the street where every goddamn gun will be pointed at you. If you’re here, there’s more control over the situation, right? You’d have the upper hand because you’d be familiar with the place and they wouldn’t. And you can’t tell me you wouldn’t feel better being with us. That you don’t WANT to be here.”

“I do,” Tyler assures her. “It’s the only place I do want to be.”

“Then just do it. Just tell Anil that’s how it’s going to be. Explain to him why it makes the most sense. Deep down, you know this is the right thing to do. You know it’s better for us...especially the kids...if you’re here.  And I know you can’ deny that it would be better for you, too. Mentally speaking.”

“Yeah,” he admits with a nod. “You’re right.”

“Stop being so stubborn,” Esme implores. “This is not the time for that. You know this is the best way to handle things. I know you do. But I also know you hate taking advice from other people and that everything you do has to be your idea.”

He smirks. “You really DO know me well.”

“I so do. I also know I’m the only one who can talk like this to you and not have you get defensive. It’s too dangerous, Tyler. Especially now that Mahajan knows you’re in Mumbai and he’s stepping things up. You can’t be out on the street and you know it. I know that makes you feel useless. And weak. That you’re second guessing and doubting yourself. And you need to knock that shit off. Because you are the stronger, bravest person I know. And you’re the only one I trust with my life. With our kids’ lives. And I need you here. And you need to be here.”

He sighs, then pushes her fingers through her hair, moving it away from her face and off her shoulder. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what? Insanely beautiful and phenomenally intelligent?”

“I was going to say a huge pain in my ass, but okay, I’ll give you those.”

“What are you so worried about? Mahajan’s people showing up?”

“I don’t exactly what them on the doorstep. I don’t want them where you are. Where the kids are.”

“How far could they get with all these people here? I practically can’t take a pee without someone with an AK following me to the bathroom. What do you think can happen when there’s that much firepower here?”

“That’s exactly it. Firepower. With my kids here.”

“I’m not worried about that. Half of Anil’s basement is a panic room. The kids and I will be fine.”

Tyler frowns.

“What?”

“Why the hell didn’t you mention that right off the hop? Why didn’t you tell me that an hour ago when we started talking about this?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

He stares at her pointedly.

“I forgot,” Esme admits. “I’m sorry. I should have told  you about the panic basement.”

“I swear to God, for the last seven years, this is how our conversations have gone. We talk about something for an hour when it could have been solved in five minutes. You always leave out that one piece of information that could have saved us a lot fucking time.”

“I’m sorry…” she pouts dramatically, then places a line of kisses along his jaw, over his ear, and up onto his head. “...I know that annoys you. Do you still love me?”

“I do. But fuck, you’re a pain in my ass. No wonder I have gray hair and an ulcer.”

“You don’t have an ulcer.”

“Not yet. But when I get one, it’ll have your name on it.”

“I have a confession.”

He sighs. “Of course you do. What is it?”

“I annoy you on purpose. Because you’re so cute when you’re annoyed. You get the cutest look on your face. It’s adorable. I can’t help myself. I’m sorry. I like your face and all your expressions. You have a really nice face.”

He grins. “I’m starting to really question your taste in men.”

“Please! You know you’re ridiculously good looking. It’s okay to be a bit conceited. I can forgive you for that if you can forgive me for being annoying.”

“I don’t know. You’re pretty fucking annoying.”

She scowls, then bites down on his earlobe.

“Ow! Fuck sakes! What is wrong with you? I’m not hurt enough for you? Why you do me like that?”

“Because I know you like it. MY particular brand of pain. What are you going to do? Spank me?”

“You’d like that too much.”

“I would actually,” she says, and then shivers against him when his fingertips graze down her spine. Giggling and squirming against him when he grabs her ass and roughly squeezes  “That hurts!  What’s your issue?”

“You really want to know?”

Esme nods.

He removes his hand from her ass, then takes one of hers and places it on his crotch.

“Oh…” her eyes widen. “...that’s the only part of you that’s not hurt and IS working properly.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“I am definitely not. Because I missed you. And I’m not talking the sappy and corny shit about missing you and your quirks and all the stupid shit you do.  Right now, I really miss having sex with you.”

“If you had just admitted that an hour ago, we could have skipped over a whole lot of drama.”

“We said things that needed to be said   and talked about things we needed to talk about. And now, I think you need to use your mouth for something else. IF you’re up to it.”

“Oh, I’m up to it. THAT anyways. Anything else, you might have to do the work. Or the majority of it anyway.”

“You mean I get to be in charge?”

He frowns. “I never said that.”

“You’re such a control freak,” she says, then pecks his lips before sling off the lounge chair and carefully removing a sleeping Addie from his chest. “I’m going to go and put her in her bed. And when I get back, you better be in mind. Naked. Ready to go. I’m not fucking around. Well, I AM. Fucking that is, You know what I mean.”

He’s grinning as he watches her ass move as she walks away. “How much DID you miss me?”

“Not THAT much, Tyler. Forget about it. It’s not our anniversary yet.”

“Early anniversary present?” He suggests hopefully.

“You wish!” She scoffs, then disappears into the house.

[damn-stark]

Blinded ch.13

A/N- Ayye it’s up!! So their is going to be a time jump from the time we left off in the last chapter to this chapter! I’ll add flashback scenes here and there throughout the future chapters of stuff that happened in between the jump!! So that does mean that we are officially in TFA!! Hope you guys like this chapter :)

Warning- Mentions of violence and torture, angst, fluff

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader

Takes place during- The Force Awakens

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

—

“So y/n, has Poe asked you the big question yet?” You heard Jess ask over the comms, you furrowed your eyebrows at her sudden question but let out a small huff that was meant as a laugh.

“Really Jess? how old are we? Teenagers again?” Karé asked in an annoyed way at Jessika’s question. Karé knew Jessika meant well but that subject was supposed to be off topic for you as Snap had told her a secret that Poe had confided him in; and if Poe or snap found out that Jessika knew because of her then she knew she’d be in trouble. Karé was grateful that you all were in X-Wings and not face to face because she knew that you would catch on to the slight worry on her face.

“No he hasn’t...we’ve only been dating for a year and a half Jess I don’t think he’s going to ask anytime soon...why? has he said anything?” You asked now extremely curious. The thought of him asking hadn’t popped into your head before not because you didn’t want to think of it or because it wasn’t something you didn’t want, but it was just something that you genuinely haven’t thought of. You knew that Poe was special to you and he has grown to be more special after the year you’ve dated— you couldn’t lie to yourself that you haven’t once or twice thought of your future together but you haven’t thought of him asking you to be anything more than his girlfriend anytime soon. And now that Jessika brought it up the thought crept onto your mind.

The other end had gone quiet for a while before Jessika spoke up again. “But if he asked would you say yes?” You went quiet as if you were thinking about the answer even if in your head you had immediately answered it without question.

“I mean...yeah I would.” Your curiosity only grew at her sudden need to ask that question and as you were about to press Jessika further Suralinda talked over the comms changing the subject.

“You know I like this all women mission, why haven't we done it before? I think we work better than when we have the boys along.” You all laugh at her comment making Suralinda go on about how it would be better without Poe or Snap.

You were about to voice your opinion when you suddenly felt a sudden pain in your chest that made you zone out making the stars disappear and a black view to take over, the voices of Jessika, Karé and Suralinda to disappear into the background. The pain radiated throughout your whole body, you held onto the stirring wheel of your x-wing firmly. If you hadn’t been sitting you would've fallen down for sure. Their was then clear sudden flashes that played in your mind. You could hear their agonizing screams that made your heart hurt even more. The image of who it was in pain wasn’t clear at first not until you really saw who it was. Poe.

You were desperate to see more into what was going on but all you saw was a dark figure looming over him like a shadow. It was...Ben..Kylo. And then just like it how it had started it was over, making you see nothing more but the view of the stars.

-

Without much thought and even if the girl’s called out to you, you ignored them out of the haze you had seemed to be in making a beeline for the briefing room where you knew your mother would be. Eyes immediately turned to you at your sudden and quick entrance. You ignored the questioning stares and looked around until you spotted your mother.

Her eyes were already on you since she had sensed your worried presence enter the room. She stands up straight and waits for you to approach her.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” She asks. You look at her and it had seemed like you were unable to speak, you look around the room to try and find the words but you were now speechless..or trying to hide what you had seen happening to Poe and who you had seen hurting him. “Y/N?”

“Mom it’s-”

“I’m sorry to interrupt but we just got word that the Jakku village has been wiped out, I’m sorry your highness—highness's, their was no sign of the map anywhere.” A young officer named Brance interjected making you let out a deep sigh at the news.

“If they get to Luke first we haven’t got a chance—What about Poe?” Your mother questioned making the man look at you briefly as if afraid to answer the question.

“They found his X-wing destroyed, blaster marks indicated it was the first order.”

“What about BB8?” You asked making Brance nervously look at you again.

“He wasn’t recovered.”

“Never underestimate a droid.” Your mother commented before moving on making you quickly follow behind her.

From the corner of your eye you see Snap approaching you, when he’s by your side you greet him with a small smile. “General should we contact the Republic?” Snap asked.

“You have to be smarter then that. Find BB8 immediately our future may depend on it.” Your mother said directing her last comment to C3PO.

She walked in a rush but neither Snap or you staying behind. “What about Poe?” Both Snap and you asked at the same time.

“He’s in trouble and I know where he is let me go get him.”

“I’ll go with you too.” Snap added.

“We can’t.” At your mothers comment you square your shoulders and your frown deepens. “Look I love Poe and I know you do too honey but we can’t risk you both going to rescue him.”

“Then I’ll go alone.” You interrupted making her stop and turn to you making you almost bump into her at her sudden halt.

“Look Y/N, I can’t have you risking your life and we both know Poe wouldn’t want you to do it either.”

“No I can’t just sit here doing nothing not while he’s there! Not while HE has him! You know exactly what he’ll do to Poe...I can’t let that happen—I can’t lose him.” You didn’t mean to raise your voice at your mom but you couldn’t help it. You were to emotional at the thought of him being tortured by...your brother.

A brother that you’ve promised to help but haven’t been able to since he’s shut you out. Every time you tried to reach him through the force you saw nothing or felt nothing, he had shut you out completely. You shouldn’t have been surprised given that when you last spoke to him you tried to bring him with you; and if Snoke had felt the same thing you felt within him that day then you knew it didn’t go well. Even if he had shut you out, you still had hope you still wanted to help...but now...now that he had Poe you were beginning to think differently.

“I know honey but I can’t lose you. Or any other pilots. We have to hope he’ll make it out alive..you know how he is.” She placed her hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you but it didn’t help. You blinked repeatedly to try and blink away the tears that threatened to fall. “Don’t let any unauthorized fighters depart from any hanger.” Your mom ordered before leaving the room and your conversation that way it was.

You felt Snap place a hand on your shoulder to try and bring you comfort you and even if you were grateful for his attempt it didn’t work. “I’ll be okay.” You lied before leaving the room to go be on your own.

Once you make it in your room you sit on your bed and drop your head into your hands and let the tears flow down. They were tears of sadness and frustration for your brother who knew what Poe meant to you but still hurt him....then again this shouldn’t be a surprise he’s “Kylo Ren”, and Kylo Ren didn’t care for Y/N Solo or what Poe Dameron meant to you.

Ben Solo would care....for your feelings at least.

So in a moment of desperation you thought of the only thing you could do..you closed your eyes and cleared your mind only focusing on Ben, of reaching Ben through the force. You call out to him and wait and wait but are met by nothing. Again. You run your hands through your hair and try again but once again theirs nothing. You open your eyes and let out a shaky breath before you force throw the desk in your room out of frustration. You drop your head in your hands again and let the tears stain your face.

“Okay now open your eyes.”

You follow Poe’s instructions and open your eyes to see blankets spread on the ground for the sole purpose to star gaze; In the center their was a small stereo playing soft music and to the sides he had placed snacks. A happy smile grows on your face before you jump on him to wrap him in a tight hug. He chuckles before he hugs you tighter.

“Who knew you could he so sappy commander?” You teased as you both pulled away to sit on the blanket.

“Only the girl who I love knows.” He said with a grin making you roll your eyes. “I thought you deserved it after coming back from your difficult mission with your dad, also because it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“Mission? Pssh. Poe helping him smuggle is not a mission.” You say with a laugh. After your encounter with your dad when you went to go thank him and apologize him for it only ending with an attack, it not really surprisingly had left with all of you fine and making you return to base. That encounter still didn’t stop you from going to find him and visit or do runs with him every here and there when you could. You actually enjoyed doing those runs with him and you knew chewie and your dad liked your company “Don’t worry I always put a good word in for you.”

“So does that mean he likes me or do I need to watch my back when we meet?” Poe asks with an amused grin but you knew he was actually being serious as he was nervous at the thought of meeting your father. Especially after the stories you’ve told him and also knowing how much you care for him.

“Watch your back especially from Chewbacca.” You tell him with a serious demeanor to try and scare him but you break and smile. You move over to him and sit on his lip whilst wrapping both arms around his shoulders with a wider smile only making him look at you in admiration.

“What would you do if I never came back?” You suddenly asked making his smile falter. “Because I know if you never came back from a mission I’d be a mess.”

He wrapped both of his arms around your waist and held you firmly closer to him. “I’ll always get back to you. Always. I’ll never leave you alone.” You felt your eyes get watery but you bite the bottom of your lips so the tears wouldn’t fall. “I love you.” He said minutes later making your heart race in your chest. It had been months since you’ve been together and those words still made you feel all types of way.

“I know.” You say as you place a light kiss on his lips while you ran your fingers through his curls.

“I truly deeply love you, Y/N Solo. I know it’s been a couple months but no one makes me feel or has made me feel the same way I feel for you.” You search his eyes as if thinking this was some sort of joke but when you saw he was being truly sincere is when you kiss him deeply and with passion. Your lips part but you keep your forehead pressed on his.

“I truly deeply love you, Poe Dameron. And I will love you until every star on this damned beautiful galaxy dies.”

“Now who’s gotten sappy on who huh?” He jokes making you roll your eyes. “Until every star on this damned beautiful galaxy dies.” He repeats.

-

The sudden dip on your bed made you jump awake. You sat up quickly, you turned quickly to see..Poe.

He looks at you and smiles, it takes you a minute to register his presence leaving you speechless.

“Hey baby...” his voice was low and soft but it was the type of tone that made your heart flutter, “leave you speechless? Not surprised, I always do.” He teased making you laugh quietly before you wrapped him in a hug. Silent but happy tears rolled down your cheeks as you tightened your embrace not believing he was here or like If you didn’t hold on he would just vanish at any minute.

He groaned as a response as you accidentally pressed onto his injuries he had acquired while his time in captivity. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say as you pull away far enough to cup his cheeks. He cups your cheek with his hand and begins to caress it gently. “How did you get out? When did you get back? Poe...” He laughed lightly at your questions before he interrupted your rambling by placing a light kiss on your lips.

“Just got back and I managed to get myself out...I used my charm, you know how I am.” his last words were a lie but it was just something he said to joke with you, to ease your worry.

“I saw you, I felt your pain...Poe....” more tears fell down your cheeks but he quickly wiped them away.

“Baby I’m here, I’m fine, okay? Don’t worry anymore I’m fine.” He assured you in a soothing tone, one he always knew to use when you were upset or in this case worried, he always knew what to do to calm you down. He placed another gentle kiss on your lips before he placed one on your forehead. “Go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you up” you hesitated all you wanted to do now was talk to him, make sure he was actually fine.

Their had been missions where he went without communicating back or where he wasn’t at base for long periods of time; and you had grown used to that and since the time you’ve been dating you excepted these actions from him. Since you knew their was times he couldn’t check back in but this one was different. This time you had actually seen briefly what he went through only making your worry increase tenfold.

“Go to sleep I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said again making you lay back down, he also layed down and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you close to him. He stroked your hair gently with his other hand, lulling you back to sleep.

Your eyes flew open and you inhaled sharply, you hazily pressed your hand on the spot where Poe slept but you were met with a cold and empty spot, you quickly shifted in bed looked around and saw that their was no indication that he was actually here. You sat up and saw that his clothes weren’t scattered on the floor just like they were every time the exhaustion was getting to him and all he wanted to do was sleep. This time their was no sign of his return...it was all just a dream. A cruel dream.

You put your head in your hands and thought to yourself. I can’t leave him, he can’t die, I won’t let him kill you.....Not you too.

You quickly got up from bed knowing that you wouldn’t fall back to sleep. You were surprised you actually did. You quickly got up and left your quarters with a mission in mind..rescue Poe. He would do the same for you.

-

His mission was supposed to be a quick mission. Just get the missing map and leave without a problem. You knew that you should’ve gone with him but your mom wanted you and the girls to go to another quick mission and she thought that only one resistance fighter would be good to collect the missing map as to not catch the wrong attention. But as it turns out the wrong attention had been there either way.

Your heart hurt you didn’t want to think of the worst but your mind immediately wondered to it. You feared the possibility of what could happen and it was killing you that you couldn’t just appear where he was to rescue him. You couldn’t just wait anymore you already waited too long. So you made your way to your x-wing discreetly without being detected much to your surprise.

As you were beginning to climb onto your X-wing you were stopped, you groaned quietly at the fact that you had been caught. “Y/N wait.”, You swallow thickly as you turn to face the voice who had called out to you.

Please don’t let it be mom. You thought before you completely turned to see the person or rather people.

“Snap, Jessika, Karé I...I have to go...he would if I was in his situation. So I’m sorry but neither of you will stop me.”

Jessika smiled as she placed a hand on her hip. “Who said we were stopping you? He’s our friend and he’s our Black leader we’re going with you and you won’t stop us from coming along.” You shot them a smile while they all nodded their head in agreement.

“Okay then I won’t stop any of you. Let’s get going.” You said as you hop onto your X-wing.

Without a faltering second you heard an officer come through your comm telling you that you weren’t allowed to leave. You of course ignored them and closed the comm to create a private one with black squadron.

“You all ready?” You asked all of them with a hopeful smile on your face.

“Yes, we better get going before your mom comes and pulls you out of the X-wing.” Jessika joked making you let out a small laugh.

“Wait! Solo, we have an incoming unauthorized craft.” You heard snap urgently say through the comms. You sighed deeply and your smile disappeared at the interruption. You look out the cockpit window to see a large freighter approaching. You quickly punched a few buttons and had access to their comms.

“Be ready to shoot when I give the signal, we have an advantage.” You tell black squadron first through the comms before communicating with the unknown freighter. “Come in unknown freighter and identify yourself before we are forced to take action.” You command urgently through the comms.

You really didn’t want to deal with this right now, all you wanted to do was take off with black squadron and go find Poe and BB8. Your patience was running thin as the comms stayed silent.

“Nothing. Should we get ready to shoot it down?” Kere asked.

“This is unknown freighter coming in don’t shoot——clear”, the unidentified came through the with static making it hard to hear but the voice sounded familiar.

“Don’t shoot. Not yet it looks like our friend found a clear patch to land let’s go say hi.” You say as you and black squadron get off your X-wings and rush to where the freighter had just landed.

The four of you quickly took out your Blasters and aimed it at the opening freighter doors. Once the ramp door hit the ground you approached it slowly. All four of you looked at each other telling one another to get ready for anything. When you finally saw an outline of a figure emerge from within that’s when you got closer. You squared your shoulders and your lips were formed in a straight line.

You narrowed your look on the approaching figure until you saw the sight of familiar pair of brown eyes. You slowly dropped your arm to your side until you dropped your blaster and rushed to Poe Dameron. He rushed to you too meeting each other in a tight embrace. He lifted you off your feet as you buried your head into the crook of his neck. “Miss me?” He asked as he put you down. You found no words to say, all of sudden getting speechless. So all you managed to do was smile. You ran your hands through his curls fully taking in his presence. Your smile faltered as you saw the bruises and cuts on his face. He placed his hand on your cheek and caressed it as he saw the worry spilled all over your features.

Before you could ask about the bruises and cuts that were on his face he pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You were quick to kiss him back but before he could take it any further you pulled away knowing of the wandering stares from Black squadron and other fighters. You stepped to the side and let the others greet him.

-

You walk around the Med Bay and collect all you need to clean Poe’s wounds. Ever since Poe had came back you had been quiet only speaking here and there. You were so lost in your own worry and doubts...self guilt. You knew it wasn’t your fault that Poe had gotten tortured but it was your brother who had hurt him. Your own brother. And ever since you had seen that in the vision you began to have second thoughts on helping him; and second thoughts on if he wasn’t too blinded by the darkness to bring him back.

Those thoughts only surfaced because you knew that your brother knew what Poe meant to you he had even said so himself at Jaskar. And even if he knew, he was going to kill Poe for the information he held. Your brother knew and he didn’t care..so much for promising that he would hurt you...then again that promise was broken years ago—but he was your brother...twin brother, and you still held hope for him even after what he had done, and you couldn’t break the promise even he had.

“Hey Y/N what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet ever since I got back.” The feeling of Poe’s hand on yours made you jump slightly and slip away from your thoughts.

“Sorry it’s just...” He didn’t need to worry about your thoughts so you just pressed your lips together and nodded your head. “Just forget it okay?...I’m just happy you’re back.” You begin to clean the wounds on the sides of his forehead and stood quiet but you still could feel his eyes on you. You only felt your heart getting heavier as you kept cleaning the wounds on the sides of his forehead, you knew well what had done it.

“Babe talk to me.” He took your hand in his before you could dab alcohol on his wounds again. Your eyes flickered to his and you saw the worry he had for you. You sighed and moved your eyes to look towards the ground before looking back at him.

“I saw you...I saw you getting hurt...I felt it. It didn’t last long but I did....I saw who did it and I’m sorry.” You bit the bottom of your lip as you felt tears begin to sting your eyes. “I’m sorry Poe.”

“It wasn’t your fault—”

“But he’s my brother, he’s the one that hurt you. What he did was painful I know that...I know what he did and I know it hurt you and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You interrupted turning your head down so he wouldn’t see the tear that you failed to hold in. “I don’t know what I would've done if he had killed you.” You said in a low voice.

Not him too.

Poe cupped your cheek and turned your head to make you look at him. “You aren’t responsible for your brothers actions. You didn’t hurt me, it’s not your fault..so don’t blame yourself okay? Please.” You nodded your head to agree with him even if a part of you still blamed yourself.

After you finished cleaning his wounds in a comfortable silence you finally asked the important question. “So how was it that you escaped the first order? Because I know it wasn’t because of my brothers generosity.”

He let out a silent chuckle as he hopped off the Med Bay bed. “Interesting story actually, it was a stormtrooper.” He said making you quirk your eyebrow. “At first I thought it was the resistance—”

“I was actually on my way before you got here.” You interjected making him look at you with grin, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you made your way out of the Med bay.

“I know you were; anyway as I was saying I thought it was the resistance but when he took off his helmet he was actually a stormtrooper getting me out because he also wanted to leave.” Poe continued with his crazy story of his escape that involved an ex-stormtrooper.

It was entertaining lisenting to him say the story but also upsetting as he didn’t know where the trooper had ended up after the crash. You kept lisenting to Poe’s adventure after the escape until he got interrupted by an officer who looked like he had been running for hours at how red his face was.

“Commander Dameron, Princess. They’ve found BB8. General Organa wants you to leave right away.”

Poe and you looked at one another sharing an unspoken conversation before Poe turned to the officer to ask him a question “Where?”

“In Takodana.”

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