#looking forward to book 2 being over (hooray! completion!) but also knowing that book 3 has to all be written (... oof ... great work ahead

[nbstevonnie]

the final chapter is both a blessing and a curse

[liw-the-melancholic-apple]

How it may have gone - Humble Beginnings

A fic taking place in the marauders era. While the political climate seems to head to a conflict, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are still just teenagers. Dealing with typical teenage problems.But this year their little group grows. Who would have known that more prefects would be a good thing?

Masterlist

Ten: Detention II

In comparison to Saturday the Sunday was pretty bland. After breakfast the boys shuffled off to deal with James and make plans for the full moon that was coming up which gave us girls some time to ourselves. Snuggled up in blankets around the fire place we chatted about Milla’s date while I was working through my mountain of homework from the last week. I was looking forward to not having to do these enormous study-sessions anymore. It was good to be back with my friends.

At dinner I had told Professor Sprout that I would like to serve my first detention before dinner and handed her a copy of my schedule for the day. She wanted to get back to me.

By the first lesson of Monday morning she hadn’t yet. But after we spent some more time with the flitterbrick-nodules for two hours and were covered in some blackish goo, the rest of the class was dismissed to get cleaned up and hurry for potions, while I got called to Sprouts desk.

“Jette, I expect you to enter the greenhouse after your last class. Charms if I’m not mistaking?”

“You aren’t.”

“Professor Flitwick assures me that he’ll be ending the lesson by four o’clock sharp. You’ll have enough time to get changed into some old clothes that can get dirty and an apron and grab your gloves, work through your list and make it to dinner at a reasonable time. I understand you have a prefect meeting at half eight?”

“I do, Professor.”

“If you concentrate during detention it shouldn’t be a problem to get there in fresh clothing. Any questions?”

“The to do list will be there?”

“Yes, I’ll put in on the first desk.”

“And then I wondered, whether the other professors know that I’m supposed to be in Greenhosue 4, madam.”

“Well, yes they do. But I got this, nonetheless.” She handed me a parchment with her signature allowing me to enter the bespoke greenhouse during the next two weeks.

“Thank you, Professor.”

“You’re welcome. Now, hurry to clean up. Professor Slughorn knows that you’ll be running a little late, no need to worry about that.”

“Thank you, Professor”, I said again, weakly smiled at her and left Greenhouse 3.

Cleaning up the goo took longer than I had expected and I arrived in the dungeons with a solid twenty minute delay. I knocked and entered. Professor Slughorn smiled and pointed at an empty chair next to Black without saying anything.

Single lessons in Potions were usually fairly boring. We discussed the characteristics of brews and ingredients or went through complicated recipes. Today, as I could tell from the notes on the blackboard, we busied ourselves with potions that were used in other potions. Three were written out on the board. I’d have to ask Blair for notes after class and copy them.

“Now, when we talk about using the properties of one potion in another one of the best examples is the wound-healing-potion. One of the ingredients in that brew is essence of murtlap”, he pointed at the middle recipe on the board “which itself is brewed. While the recipe is very straight forward – boiling water, murtlap tentacles and nettle leaves – it’s the curing time that makes this one a little annoying.” I scanned the board. The curing time for essence of murtlap was three months. The potion was to be heated up once every twenty-eight days and otherwise just remained in the cauldron. After the trhee months (eighty-four days to be exact) the potion was to be strained twice and was ready to use.

“As you can see one cannot whip up any potion that calls for essence of murtlap out of the blue. Just throwing the ingredients in the healing potion will make it purple water, not an effective liquid. This means one needs to always be stocked on essence of murtlap in the ingredient cabinet or one needs to know when the healing potion is needed to buy the essence.

This combination of potions is also a nice example of two brews strengthening each other. Essence of murtlap on its own is very soothing to fresh and old wounds but it doesn’t speed up the healing process. Healing potion without essence of murtlap is basically a variation on Skele Gro which is used to regrow bones. The variation is not as strong as the original recipe for Skele Gro but can be used to regrow bones. Put both of these brews together and you have yourself a strong healing potion that can heal anything from a cut in your skin to a third degree flesh wound.

A lot of potion recipes use other potions to strengthen or alter the effects. Page 258 in your book. Please read the first two paragraphs now. We will discuss them in two minutes.”

For a theoretical potions lesson this one was really interesting. I had not been aware of the possibility of combining potions to create completely new ones. And the examples Slughorn had given were extremely useful as well. Nevertheless I was glad when I got to head to lunch.

Mondays were always full of theoretical lessons. After lunch we went over our essays about weaknesses and strengths in Defence against the Dark Arts, had a physics module in Mugglestudies and we revised the wand motions and incantations for the Banishing, Levitation, Mending, Fire Making and Cheering Charms. Before letting us go, Flitwick threatened to have us revise the Summoning, Tickling, Shrinking, Locking and Un-locking charms next Monday. Hooray.

Quickly waving at the other girls I rushed downstairs to change into a pair of ripped jeans, I usually reserved for days I wasn’t feeling like putting on joggers, and the oldest jumper I could find. I grabbed my herbology apron and dragon skin gloves, checked for the key around my neck, packed some parchment and viles in my back pack, put on my coat and left for the greenhouses.

In the courtyard I found my friends smoking. Remus looked bad. The full moon was only two nights away. One smoke couldn’t hurt, I decided and joined them for a couple of minutes that were spent asking Milla and Remus when they’d stop being awkward around each other. I didn’t hear their answer, but judging by my experience with Magnus and Chloe it would take them at least a month to be fully comfortable with their new situation. We would have a lot to laugh and giggle.

James didn’t act any different than usual, I realised as I stomped through the icy snow covered grass to end my school day where it had started. He either was a brilliant actor or the other boys had calmed him down sufficiently. His exiting the prefects’ lounge – however tame it was in comparison to how Sirius would have no doubt done it – was completely out of character. James usually didn’t get mad or storm off. He got annoyed and displayed his superiority. For him to basically admit defeat and flee was just weird. That had probably fuelled our concern for him. But this morning at breakfast and now he’d been his cheery, slightly arrogant self.

Chloe hadn’t been with the others. Usually, she went with us to meet the boys and opties to hang with Mag in the common room. But then again, she had spent all of Sunday with us and maybe she just needed some alone-time with him. I smiled to myself. Merlin, was I glad that the whole Crick-thing hadn’t left a lasting impression on their relationship.

I looked up. In front of me I found Greenhouse 1, used for teaching the first, second and third years. I knew that Greenhouse 2 was to its right and reserved for the seventh years and Greenhouse 3 lay right behind it. I’d been there this morning. Greenhouses 5 and 6 were mainly storage units that housed the plants not currently used in any of the lessons and were located behind the seventh year glass box. Had I ever actually seen Greenhouse 4?

I walked up to number three, hoping I’d find my destination behind it, but was disappointed. The herbology section was furthest away from the castle because of all the different sunlight requirements of the plants. Any closer to the castle and its various shadows would have killed half of the study material. I always thought that the sixth greenhouse was backed up right against the grey stone wall that framed the east side of the grounds but now that I walked around here, I found that it wasn’t. Between the building and the wall was a small path that looked like lead to a grove of trees I’d seen before. The oaks stood in the middle of the herbology section and provided shadow to those plants who needed it. Fairly frustrated I was about to walk back to the main path to carry on looking for my detention location when I spotted a pretty battered sign saying “Greenhouse 4” with an arrow that pointed to the oaks. Worth a try.

I squeezed myself between the wall and building – which just worked and had me wonder how Professor Sprout and her impressive circumference ever managed to do it – and ended up in the oak grove. I did two 360 degree pirouettes in looking for a greenhouse but couldn’t find it. Next I checked the walls of greenhouses 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6 for more weathered signs and actually found one nailed to the trunk of the biggest oak. The arrow on it pointed upwards. What?

I rolled back my head and scanned the canopies. A lot of leaves, a lot of branches, some probably freezing doves but nothing… a shimmer. Halfway between the top of the smallest and the tallest tree I saw something reflect the last bit of sunlight. Head still in my neck I changed my position several times until I was absolutely sure that the reflection was glass. Walking a little further around the oaks I could make out a right angle in the sparkles. Glass walls in the trees.

Since I’d started at Hogwarts four and a half years ago I’d been fascinated and flabbergasted by a couple  of architectural aspects of the school: the medieval aesthetic, the charmed ceiling of the Great Hall, the moving staircases, the singing suits of armour. But this definitely took the cake. A barely visible treehouse. Literally, a house in the tree that was probably  also used to grow trees. I loved magic. The question was how I would get in. The key I’d been given was obviously for a door and I couldn’t reach the house. I wondered whether I simply needed to fly up there by broom or whether there was a nifty hidden entrance in one of the trees. I tried a Revelio charm on the trunk of the big oak but nothing happened. I threw the charm in all directions just in case and the smallest tree made a noise. A very subtle ‘click’ that I would not have heard in the summer, when the birds chirped like there was no tomorrow. But with only the cold doves around the sound was clearly audible. A door had become visible in the trunk, only a few centimetres taller than me. No lock. I tried pushing it to no avail and then went for my wand again. “Alohomora.”

The bark completely disappeared and gave way to a spiral staircase carved out of wood. While I climbed them I wondered how in the name of Merlin’s left saggy ball anybody ever heard about Greenhouse 4. The rumour that students weren’t allowed in it was probably as old as  the school itself but if it had always looked like this, hidden away in the trees, nobody would have ever known that it existed. Sure the numbering gave it away, but that was just stupidity on the teacher’s part. Call the other buildings one, two, three, four and five, make this one six and nobody would ever even think about thinking about number four. But maybe it was just like the prank with the pigs being let lose. Paint the numbers one, two and four on three pigs let them lose at a farm and enjoy everybody looking for number three. Knowing the antics of current and previous Hogwarts headmasters, that was definitely an option.

The staircase was lit by floating glass orbs that contained fire and followed me up, encasing me and my surroundings in an angelic glow. Contrary to every other staircase I had ever seen at Hogwarts there were no paintings, decorations, inscriptions or carvings to be found around it. It was just wood. All of it.

It took me forever to reach the end of the stairs, that had started swaying the higher I got, but when I did, I stood opposite a fairly gigantic ebony black door with golden bolts and a golden lock. I pulled out the key from underneath my jumper – my coat had been in the backpack since step number 32 – and put it in the lock. Perfect fit.

Opening the door I was met with the sweet scent of a flower field in June and a lot of chirping and splashing and rustling. What I saw took my breath away. Greenhouse 4 was not a greenhouse. It was an oasis for flora and fauna alike and looked like a clearing in a fantastical forest. The floor was mainly covered in dark green moss on which four desks were placed. These desks looked like they had grown out of the moss. Less like carved and glued furniture, more like shrubs that organically grew into the practical shape of a worktable.

the desks were right off to the left side underneath one of the enormous windows, that seemed to be held up by nothing. No frames, no bolts, no handles, no metal, no wood. Nothing. I suspected that each wall was one giant sheet of glass that was magically attached to the sheets that made up the floor, other walls and ceiling, as well as the tree. During the day – or the summer – the light here at the desks would be blindingly bright, so you could perfectly work without having to deal with the shadows of the plants. Now, however, as the last sunlight in which I had spotted the treehouse was long gone, a slightly dimmed, small sun had emerged in the centre of the workstations to illuminate them. The rest of the greenhouse was lit by light yellow light, the origin of which I couldn’t make out. It was a stark contrast to the dusk outside though.

At each of the walls there were flower beds and the likes housing an uncountable amount of plants, from the far right corner of the huge structure flowed a stream of crystal clear water to the left corner by the door. Some of the splashing I’d heard upon entering came from there. What looked to me like miniature koi fish swam in it and jumped out occasionally. At the back wall trees and shrubs hat grown into an impressive grove of their own and I assumed all the birdy chirping came from the nests hidden away there.

It took me some time to adjust to my new – and warm! – surroundings, but once I shook my state of awe I walked over to the nearest desk and found a folded parchment with my name on it.

To Do – Day 1

Behind the bumblebush by the desks you’ll find a door. It houses the supplies and tools. It’s not locked, grab whatever you need.

One table over is a stack of books that tells you what you need to know about the various plants and animals.

Feed the Abtu in the river 

Check elderly mandrakes for signs of life (or death)

Cut Gillyweed and seal in jar

Provide bucket of maggots to Snidgets

Wear gloves !!! and collect Streeler slime.

Abtu are small fish that give off rays of light, looking like soft sunlight. The school has a school of them because their scales can be used in gloves and clothes worn by miners or the goblins deep within the Gringotts vaults.

The scales of an Abtu do never seize to shine.

After reaching maturity the cry of a mandrake gets less and less deadly. Mandrake root and Leaves are vital ingredients of various potions and creams. Most require young Mandrakes, but some require dead ones. Should you find dead Mandrakes, please place them on the third desk in their pots. We are in the process or persuading Professor Slughorn to brew a badge of Chameleon solution and the dried leaves of dead Mandrake are essential to that.

Gillyweed can be used to breath under water when kept in freshwater and without exposure to air. Cut it off and pull the jar under the water, then close it.

Snidgets are a very rare species of birds. The school’s been providing a safe habitat for them for the past 62 years. They just need to eat.

Streeler slime is used in the making of Veritaserum and various poisons and healing potions. In its purest and freshest form it can put a person in a coma within 1.3 seconds. It’s never been deadly on its own.

Check off every task you have performed and leave the list on the desk. Have fun and good luck.

P. Sprout

I read the list two times. Why would she give me snippets of information but not tell me everything I needed to know. What did Abtu eat? Cool fact about the glow-in-the-dark scales but how was that important to the task of feeding them?

Why tell me what mandrakes are used for or what potions she wanted Slughorn to brew, instead of telling me how to distinguish an old sleeping mandrake from a dead one? Why did she include the sections on Gillyweed and Snidgets at all? Did that say bucket of maggots? Why did it not say if they were alive or dead?

Why did she have me collect coma-slime?

While wondering about these things I went over to the next table and rummaged through the books. To my delight they were more old-timey workbooks or magazines and not the thousand page encyclopaedias I knew from the library. The one on Abtus was basically a four page guide to keeping the little fish and nothing more. I scanned the brochure and discovered that Abtu mainly fed on tadpoles and scarabs. Per fish one feeding should be one scarab or three tadpoles. All right.  I went over to the bustling bumblebush that was covered in neon blue cherries and found a modest door, like the parchment had suggested.

The room behind it was lit by more fire orbs and looked like any old garden shed, only way bigger. One of the cabinets said FEED on it and as I opened it I saw a well organised and labelled system of drawers. Scarabs and tadpoles were right beside each other and because I didn’t like the thought of killing little baby frogs I took out the scarab drawer. The beetles were clearly alive – they moved their eyes and heads – but had just as clearly been hit with a leg locking curse. I assumed the curse also worked on wings.

Armed with the drawer of the undead insects I strolled over the moss to the river and estimated the amount of tiny koi in the river. I tossed three hands of scarabs in and watched fully fascinated as the tiny tame looking fish exposed razor sharp teeth with which they cracked the beetles’ exterior hard shelled skeleton. Creepy little things.

Back at the cabinet I put away the scarabs and screeched when I opened the drawer labelled “Maggots”. Instead of a neat little drawer this was basically a washing machine filled with loads of yellow-ish moving rice. Yuck! I put on my gloves, found a copper bucket and a big ladle and started scooping the disgusting little things. The thin book on Snidgets – that were apparently the original golden snitches from Quidditch, who’d have known – only ate once every three and a half weeks but were like a bottomless whole then. So, I filled the bucket to the brim and walked over to the little assortment of trees and shrubs, where I put it down. As soon as my hands had left the handle about fifteen feathery golden balls of fluff dove down from the tree tops and attacked the buckt. With delighted chirping they hacked away at the squiggling mass and I went back into the shed to look for knives and mason jars.

I found both in a cupboard with the sign WATERDWELLING on it, neatly placed under yet another label that read “Gillyweed”. Cutting and preserving the algea-esque plant was fairly boring.

Before I went about my last task for the day I opened the last book again: Snakes and Slugs in Soothing Somethings by Clara Abernathy. The chapter on Streelers was very long but it had a detailed description of how to collect the slime. Abernathy advised me to never try and get the slime off the pig-sized slug directly. Thank Morgana, I was not going to pet a disgusting slug that could easily reach my waist. Instead, I was instructed to conjure black light and look for fluorescent traces on the ground, trees and walls. Those were the slime I could collect. Just like Professor Sprout, she made a point of the necessity of wearing gloves and suggested old jam glasses as containers.

With my gloves back on my hands I went into the shed. At the very back of it were some shelves with labels in a different handwriting. As I got closer I realised that this was Professor Slughorns section. The shelves had vials and glasses and every other sort of container, filled with weird looking substances and empty. I grabbed a couple and went for my wand.

My spell to kill all the lights worked only partially. While the little sun by the desks experienced its own solar eclipse without a moon, the rest of the room stayed just as bright as before. It took me a moment to realise that the light came from the sharp toothed Abtu in the river and that they would not stop.

Mildly irritated I threw some black light around the room and found a decent amount of bluish white glowing slime traces. To my surprise the slime wasn’t sticky at all and I could easily scoop it up with a cake-server I had found earlier.

Abernathy had mentioned in her soothing book that the slime was to be kept in the darkest place possible – the back wall of the shed – and so I labelled the seven jars myself and put them back on the shelf they had come from.

Every mandrake I checked was still very much alive – if not kicking – and so I checked off the list, cleaned off my apron and gloves in the little sink in the shed, dried them with the spell I usually used on my hair, put on my coat, took in the view of the greenhouse and the grounds one more time, left, locked the door and began my descend into the normal world again.

[naomi-l-tiessen-blog]

Tips on Breaking Out of Your Writing Hiatus

Helllllooooo everybody ~

Happy Thursday Blogday!

Well, we’ve all been there. We didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just…did.

We stopped writing.

Life got busy. I’ve never been a fantastic multi-tasker, and back in the summer of 2016, it seemed like suddenly everything was happening at once. I was playing roller derby, and had practice 3 times a week. I was still working full-time at the hospital. And on top of it all, I was in the process of moving to a different city, soooo packing, packing, packing. As much as I didn’t want it to, writing sort of went onto the backburner, and then it slipped off completely. And I let it. I didn’t even think twice about letting it not be a priority. One week became one month, then two months, then three months, and then I stopped counting.

So, when the time came that I finally decided to pick up the pieces of my nearly finished manuscript, I was sort of at a loss of what to do. I had stopped in the middle of a chapter (ouch), and said chapter was a heavy duty one (double ouch). I had no clue what to do. I knew that I had overcome the hardest part by accepting the fact that I had screwed up, but somehow, it didn’t seem as simple as sitting down and writing again. In truth, I didn’t feel worthy to write. I almost felt like I needed to confess my sins, plead for forgiveness from my abandoned novel baby, and join a Seven Steps Program or something.

All this sound familiar?

I have done a good chunk of research, and have come up with ten useful tips on how to overcome the mountain that is known as Hiatus. Some of these may work for you, and some of them may make you cringe so hard it looks like you’re seizing. But whether all of them apply to you or not, they are still little gems to put in your writer bank!

1) So, first and foremost, allow yourself that pity party your brain is begging you to have. Eat junk food, wallow in guilt, maybe cry a little (ahem *points to self* moi), and procrastinate a bit more. Get it out of your system. And then, when you are finally ready to face the music (…manuscript?), move on. I know, I know, weird tip right? “But Scarlette, everyone else tells me to stop beating myself up immediately!” Ooook. Well, you’re going to feel guilty regardless of whether I tell you to or not. So let’s all just be real about this. You’re a human being. You feel things. You’re going to feel guilty about abandoning your baby and letting it collect dust. You’re going to want to beat yourself up about it. Use that to push yourself forward. Do it. Do ittttt. And then carry on.

2) Start slow. Maybe do some writing challenges or exercises. Do a writing prompt or two...whatever it takes to get the brain juices flowing (ugh...that sounds nasty). For me, I went back momentarily to fanfiction. Writing fanfiction was my safety blanket for a long time, and it felt nice to be on familiar ground while I more or less tried to un-rust myself. And really, much to my relief, it didn’t take long to get my groove and confidence back. One thing to keep in mind is that it's not a race; you need to figure out what works best for you to get back in the swing of things. It may take a couple writing prompts, or it might take an entire fanfiction. Go at a pace that is good for you. Your novel baby knows you are working hard. It’s not going anywhere. It’ll be there when you are ready. It’s not a race. Unless you have an epic deadline….then this is super awkward…may I refer you to my previous blog regarding motivation?

3) Do research. And by research, I mean reading. A lot of it. And I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm reading, I'll find myself thinking, "Well fuck, I could've written this better." Yes. Hell yes. Use that. DO THAT. GET WRITING.

4) Once you are actively writing, allow yourself to get into the groove, and don’t stop. Unless you desperately need a pee break, sustenance in the form of snacks and liquids, or it’s a family emergency, don’t stop. Whether it’s for a page, or thirty minutes, or 500 words, or an entire chapter/scene, write your little cynical, introverted heart out. You’re going to force that groove out of its hiding place, the stubborn bastard.

5) Set a concrete, measurable goal.  “Write.” is not gonna cut it, trust me. I’ve done it before where I’ll get home after work, look at my Honey-Do List and see WRITE in big, aggressively bold letters staring back at me. I’ll then toss the list aside, grab my video game controller, and say, “Well, technically I wrote all day. Charting on patients counts as writing, right?” No, no it doesn’t. Give yourself something to work towards, such as a word count, page number, or set a timer and tell yourself that you’ll write for the next hour without stopping.

6) Don’t edit as you go. For the love of God, don’t edit as you go. Accept the fact that you are going to be rusty, and move on. Right now, all that’s important is getting words out of your noggin and onto paper. Save the editing for later. That’s what drafts (and drafts, and drafts) are for. The minute you start analyzing what you are writing, you’re going to only focus on how awkward and rough things are sounding, and you’ll lose your gumption to push forward. Instead of thinking, “Writing, writing, writing,” you’ll be thinking, “Shitty, shitty, shitty. Oh God, make it stop.” No. Bad. Don’t do that.

7) Accept the fact that your writing style has most likely changed. It's going to be almost comical re-reading and editing my first draft of HBE, considering I started writing it in 2014 and have grown so much since then. And by comical I mean I'm going to cry. A lot. But that’s the harsh truth of going on hiatus in the middle of a project. Things are bound to change. You aren’t the same writer you once were when you first started. Maybe this change is for the better, or maybe it’s for the worst. But guess what? You won’t actually know the answer unless you START FRICKEN WRITING.

8) Maybe start somewhere you were once really excited about. Now, I don't normally recommend this...I’m a fan of writing in chronological order, but if you are stuck on a killer scene and are dreading going back to it, especially now that you are feeling a bit out of touch with your writer side, maybe start somewhere a bit lighter, easier. Maybe there’s a scene you’ve been dying to get to, and you know that you could totally make that scene your bitch. If the only reason why you haven’t already pounced all over that scene is because of a fear of breaking out of chronological order, then you’re being stubborn and silly. Come on. Try it. Give in to my suave charm and give it a shot. It could be a confidence booster! And then, when you are feeling ready, go back to that killer scene and kick its butt.

9) Build up your habit/restart your ritual. Some people throw dance parties right before they get to writing. Some people like to read right before they dive into their own work as a way to be inspired. I personally like to clean my entire house about 15 times before I finally decide to sit down and write (DO NOT RECOMMEND). What was your previous ritual? Did it work for you? If it didn’t, switch it up! Instead of waiting until nighttime to write, perhaps get to work in the morning when your mind and body are refreshed and not weighed down and jaded by the day yet. Maybe try location writing. I know, I know, the idea of getting out of the house might seem awful and panic-attack inducing, but it might help stimulate your brain juices (ugh…said it again), and inspire you. Find a quiet little coffee shop, or hunker down in the corner of a book store. Get your favorite coffee/tea/cleverly disguised alcoholic beverage (no judgement), and write until closing time. Find a ritual that works for you, and perform it until it becomes a habit. Think of it as your bedtime routine. The moment you start doing this ritual, whether it’s brushing your teeth, washing your face, or putting on your PJ’s (this doesn’t work for me, considering I wear my PJ’s all day), something triggers in your brain, telling it, “Hey, it’s time for bed! Hooray!” The same will happen with your writing routine. The minute you initiate the writing ritual, your brain is going to register what is happening and jump into Writer Mode.

10) Revamp that outline. It's going to help remind you of all the hard work you’ve already put into your manuscript, how far you’ve come, and the fun things to come. Set aside some time to laze out on the couch with a glass of wine, and read your outline from start to finish. Not gonna lie, chances are it’s going to make you cringe a little *once again, pointing to self*. You might find plot holes, or god-awful ideas that sounded so good at the time but what the hell were you thinking? Were you wondering why I mentioned an alcoholic beverage earlier? This is why. You need to sift through all the bullshit and find the reasons why you fell in love with your novel baby in the first place. Get excited all over again. Review it, revise it, love it.

Bonus Tip: When you are done writing for the day and about to pack it in, set yourself up for success. Organize and prepare for your next writing adventure so that it isn't like pulling teeth when you attempt to convert brain vomit into word vomit. Personally, I like to stop in the middle of a sentence. I might know how I want that sentence to end right then and there, but I save it for the next day. So, when I open up my manuscript and see that half-done sentence just begging to be finished, I can easily do it. BAM! First sentence done. Piece of cake. I’M ON FIRE! Now onto the next one. It's a bit of a mind game, I know, but it's also a confidence booster for me.

And that’s it! See, jumping back into that novel doesn’t seem so terrifying now, does it? And keep in mind to take these with a grain of salt; some of these will work for you, and some of them won’t. Everyone is a unique, delicate flower, and not every drop of water from the watering can is going to make its mark on you. God. Cheese please. It sounded so much better in my head.

With that said, I post new blogs every Thursday, and if there is anything you’d like me to discuss, feel free to message me on here, or tweet me @ @ScarletteStone

Until next time, my beautiful, delicate flowers:

Happy writing!

[kevstreehouseisfull-blog]

Late to the Game: Ni no kuni Wrath of the White witch.

So a while back a buddy of mine was looking to shift ownership of his ni no kuni 2 revenant kingdom collector's edition. The thing came with a music box, art book and steel case for the game he gave me a fair price for the whole thing and I hadn’t seen him in a bit so I thought, “great two birds one stone.” I took a day off work hopped into my car and drove to his place which was 2 and a half hours from me. He let me check over the stuff told me to be careful handling the music box as it is fragile and then to sweeten the deal he tossed in a copy of Ni No kuni wrath of the white witch for free. It was a supremely nice gesture, (despite the fact he claimed he was really just trying to make space.) We enjoyed the rest of the day geeking out and shooting the shit before he had to go to dinner with his family and I started on the car journey home. I’m not going to lie I was excited to get home and start bingeing the crap out of both games. I got home let both games install whatever arbitrary updates they might need and settled in for a grand sprawling fantasy JRPG adventure.

Full transparency I feel I should note this is the second time I had played Ni No Kuni the first. Back when I was 18 or so I had bought the digital copy on sale and got fairly stuck into it. I got to the fairy island fought the boss there and headed to the next area and then I stopped playing. I had for some reason or another just neglected to play the game so much by the time I went back I had no idea what I was doing, where I was or who everyone was (aka the Game neglect effect). This isn’t a sleight against the game so much as it is my fault. I can’t remember how or why but for some reason I had gone ages without playing it, not cause I wasn’t enjoying it, but because life got in the way as it so often does. So when I got a second chance to play through this juggernaut of a JRPG I jumped right in. I mean seriously Ni No Kuni is probably one of the most highly revered JRPGs of the last decade, regularly making it into top ten lists of the best JRPGs of all time. I’ve even seen it top some of those lists from time to time. So my question is why do people ignore and elect not to mention some of this games massive shortcoming?

Okay so, disclaimer. I do not hate Ni No kuni and the wrath of the white witch. I actually enjoyed my time spent with the game however there are very real problems with this game that soured my overall experience and that prevent me from loving it. First let’s talk about the pacing and padding. The first and second acts of the game have tremendous flow both from a gameplay point of view as well as from a narrative one. You start the game get introduced to the characters, villain and struggle early on. The first town teaches you about combat the manner of which you solve quests by mending people’s hearts with pieces they’re missing from other folks with an abundance of that piece of heart. We get a dungeon, a boss, a few spells to enable progression, meet a new monster and recruit 2 new party members before we leave the first continent. Overall really great stuff. At each chapter of the story we’re given a clear goal e.g find the sage, learn from them, and cure the major npc afflicted by broken heart syndrome (It’s kinda like losing your soul in Yu-GI-OH.) Grinding is minimal or at least was for me especially if you’re doing the side quests which net niffty rewards not only by just completing them but by visiting the quest centers in the game and exchanging the brownie points for completing quest for handy quality of life changes to the game. For example every time you finish a side quest you receive merit stamps which go on a merit card, for each merit card you fill with stamps you get a single merit point which can be redeemed at quest hubs for stuff like faster walk speeds, more exp from enemies etc. It’s a stupid smart way of encouraging players to do side quests in order to make the game smoother and a little bit more manageable. However it what we might come to call the third act of the game this breaks down hard. The third act of the game in my mind occurs after Oliver and company obtain Oliver’s third wand the mornstar, Ni No Kuni’s equivalent of the master sword from Zelda. However the wand is incomplete. So we set out to find some pirates who have a map to where the stones to fix the stick are. You fight a dragon are forced to fix another dragon who you are then given ownership of fly to the island with the stones only to find they aren’t there. So we return to the pirates have a think about it try a bunch of spells on the map and find three more locations we need to go to and we’re off. So we go find the stones with 2 being in dungeons and one being on a ship.

Here’s where problems began. The first temple I visited was a shire to some evil snake dude who had turned a prince into an immortal frog man. We see his whole tragic backstory fight the snake demon and free the prince from his curse and reunite him with his lover. Overall it’s kind of a fun area in the game with a cool motif and a mechanic that turns your party into frogs that isn’t used as well as it could be but it’s still a bit of fun. The other two locations are nothing like this at all. The second stone is on a haunted ship which sounds as derivative as it is. If like me you stopped using the boat at this point because the game gave you a dragon to fly around on you’ll have encountered the same problem I did. You need to be on a boat in order to interact with the ship. The issue is if you fast traveled the boat returns to castaway cove which is a good bit away from the pirate ghost ship. So you have to go the long way round. If like me your boat is with the pirates that give out free dragons guess what that area is even further away. The ghost ship also moves at the same speed your ship does meaning you have to wait till it completes its forward movement cycle and turns to face you to catch it. even with the boat movement upgrade this is turn and the boat already feels like it’s swimming through syrup so It’s boring to be on the high sea. So we finally catch up to the boat and we get into a boss battle like a fully blown one. Except it’s not the real one. No after defeating the attacher the captain of the ghost ship a skeleton pirate fights you. it’s a little unfair seeing as how you have no way to replenish your health and mp before the fight unlike every other fight up until now, but fine yeah whatever. You beat the boss get the stone and are tortured with a cutscene of the disembodied voice of the captain bidding farewell to the crew of his ship. It’s suppose to make you feel for him and the crew but he mentions all the horrible stuff he did with them so it undoes any sympathy it was trying to gain as well as reminds you of the fact that; this dude was a prick before you fought him, his was a prick while you fought him and he’s a prick after you kill him.

okay so the third stone is in a temple in the snow lands which is good cause by now we haven’t seen any new environments or unique enemy types in awhile due to all this other stuff taking place in areas we’ve already been to. We fly to where the map points only to be guided to a village south of the dungeon to talk to a village elder or some such. Like seriously there’s nothing even you have to do other then that. Oh wait except talk to 2 completely pointless NPCs spend a night at the inn and then talk to the elder who gives your crew winter clothes. Like that’s the only reason. You then go through an ice cavern where it’s supper easy to use a lot on mp solving puzzles but the town does provide you with faire weapons which are super handy here. You find the boss beat them and hooray we can fight Shadar. Except on no we can’t cause the stones are too big for our wand. Apparently just making one item bigger or the other three smaller we have to return to one of the major cities in the game. Only to be told by the sage there he can’t do jack shit. So we’re given a new town to go to where we fight another boss fix all their problems and get ourselves a fully working wand. Now we’re ready to go. Except we’re not. We have to get a flute to lift the fog on the evil Wizards marsh. So we get some magic wood or some such from the second town which we can thankfully warp to, then go back to the first town only to have it stolen by a mouse. Turns out we have to fix the mouse’s shit before we can proceed so we find a dude fight a boss fix the mouse talk to a giant cat and then go to the third town for the 2nd time is like 2 hours. We get some drama about how the guy here can’t make the flute cause he doesn’t know how but the dude in our party is his brother and he knows how so it’s fine. We return to the entrance of the marsh and you’d think we’d be ready to go but you are wrong.

You see at this point my crew and I were level 40 or higher. Nothing had given us hassle or at least wasn’t one shoting us. That was until the dark wizards marsh. Turns out you need to be level 60 or higher to get any real damage done here. No problem I’ll just grind. Here’s the thing though the overworld monsters are notoriously stingy with exp even the higher level ones in the marsh give nothing. So unless I want to spend another 10 hours on a game that was already annoying me with all the backtracking I was doing then no thanks. A quick google search later revealed there was a rare monster which roamed the area outside the village beyond the marsh. These bitches gave out 2 sometimes even 3 levels for everyone one killed even at my late game level. The problem? The run away from you as soon as you get close and fade away before you can catch them. The solution? A spell which makes you invisible to monsters. Sorted? Nope. As I said this is a rare monster with a tiny spawn rate. Meaning I had to cast the spell run around to see if I could find one and if I couldn’t I had to reset the map by teleporting back to the village. This paired with some choice game grumps episodes and a few of my favourite podcasts was how I spent my next seven evenings. My free time became more like work. I knew I was in the last stretch of the game I just had to power through. Was I hit level 60 I’d bust the magical equivalent of a cap in that evil wizard’s ass.

I returned to the Marsh with a new found confidence the grinding I’d sone not only made me stronger but gave me chance to try some new monsters so I was riding high. I tore through the swamp reaching a boss. Whom I tore to pieces. Then a cutscene. More story. and we’re back to the village before the marsh! The boss I’d so savagely eviscerated had for story reasons returned me here to fight me again all so i could obtain a new spell I’d probably use like 5 more times throughout my playthrough. I returned to the marsh luckily there was a portal that sent me back to where I’d first encountered the bastard that sent me back a town. Before me stodd the Evil wizard’s palace. I scaled it along with my party felling demons and evil minions along the way however I was not prepared for more backtracking in the palace itself. I grit my teeth, I was close. I finally came face to face with the greatest evil in the studio ghibli generated world that had become my own hell. The battle that ensued was hard fought but was won nonetheless. And then Shadar pulled a Frieza and transformed. I was prepared for a second state, it was the third form that got on my nut. Not once but twice does this discount Voldemort pull the “This isn’t even my final form” shit on me. I kill him without thoughts of impending death due to my previous grinding. I’m treated to a serious of cutscenes of why Shadar wasn’t wizard Hitler for reasons that are weaker than the punches of an armless infant. I pretty much was skipping cutscenes now I just wanted to be done. After it’s over the castle crumbles the gang escapes and marches off with a severe lack of credits!

The game had not ended! No in actual fact the true villain had appeared. By which I mean plot I didn’t care about or want at this point happened forcing me to play another 4 hours of game. I now had to revisit each of the major cities in the game, AGAIN! This time with all the towns folks turned into zombies and with a boss where the monarch of the city should be. There’s was also more story revelations about the ghost girl who only I can see is but at this point Oliver’s main goal and drive is gone so I checked out and skipped all those cutscenes. we also get a new party member! Who is 20 levels below everyone! So yeah more headache then fun at this point. we go to a new palace fight some robots then another evil wizard, before coming face to face with the witch. Oh yeah the witch also has three form! If you're wiped out by any of them you have to start from the first one all over again. You don’t even level up between the fights so you have to carry on with all your low health and mp for all three fights, the last of which is between you a boss and all his minions. It’s annoying and aggravating and leads to my least favourite thing in the game, the combat issues.

So in Ni No Kuni you either control the human characters who are small and weak or the familiars who are small and strong? It’s kind of like the tales games but instead of being full 3d action RPG it goes for like a weird pseudo turn based action combat system. You move around the battlefield freely but all your actions outside moving have cool downs. Basic attacks refill almost instantly special attacks take a little longer to cool as does defense options. what’s bull shit is that magic despite have a plethora of spells shares one cool down bar. Meaning you could cast cure but you have to wait another ten seconds before casting literally any other spell. This is a major disadvantage to you due to be outnumbered in this fight by a mob of enemies the main focus of which is constantly casting debuffs and damage spells your way while the minions that it creates way to quickly physically block you from attacking the source. Not only that but there’s a handful of spells and attacks in the game  that have small cutscenes that literally interrupt the whole fight. So if you were say using an item to rez a fallen teammate guess what you wasted that turn and item cause that dick just cast sleep on everyone. This happened so often to me in the last boss fight I was actually screaming at my monitor. It took me 3 attempts to feel this beast going full out and I barely managed to bring it down. Hell I skipped the cutscene that followed just in case they tried to psych me out with another, another, another form but alas it had ended. Then the credits rolled. Then at no point was I given the option to save my progress before being prompted back to the menu screen. The White Witch lived.

My problem here is that the only proof I have that I finished Ni no kuni and the wrath of the white witch is my own word and maybe a psn trophy. This is one thing I hate in games. It ultimately raises the issue of why even finish the last boss, just watch the ending on YouTube, especially when beating the boss makes you feel this empty and hollow inside. That was how my journey with Ni No Kuni ended bitter and with nothing to show for it. I’d be hard pressed to recommend Ni No Kuni and even more conflicted to say it’s one of the best JRPGs of all time. It’s a fun coming of age story and if you love the work of studio Ghibli definitely check it out, just keep in mind there are definite flaws to this gem. Maybe just play this one and easy mode with a guide handy.

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5 Ways Disney Can’t Stop Screwing Up Star Wars

Star Wars. You love it! You think it’s great. But what if Star Wars stopped being great? That would be bad, right? And bad things aren’t great! Everybody knows that! Seeing as how we’re all in agreement here, let’s talk about the possibility that Disney’s entire strategy for Star Wars might be, as a whole, actually madly deeply verifiably bad. I know it’s painful to fathom such a terrible possibility — I mean, The Last Jedi looks just bonkers — but I can’t help to notice a few glaring red flags. Bad flags. So without further ado …

5

So Far, The New Movies Seem Afraid To Take Chances

For staunch Star Wars nerds burnt out by years of jackass Expanded Universe stories, adding to the Star Wars canon sometimes feels like writing new chapters to the Bible wherein Jesus comes back to fight ISIS with the aid of a talking car. And seeing as how the folks in charge of Star Wars are the ones who grew up on it, the new films feel a smidge unadventurous at times.

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5 Insane Answers For Questions You Didn't Know You Had

It’s no secret that The Force Awakens mirrors every character and plot point from the Original Trilogy. But what I find staggering is how every new character also geeks out over the old cast. Kylo Ren worships Vader. Poe and Rey know all about the adventures of Han and Luke. It’s as if the screenwriters wanted to make “relatable characters,” and so naturally wrote them as Star Wars fans. The filmmakers aren’t blind to this. Rogue One director Gareth Edwards has spoken multiple times about the balance between writing an original story and keeping to the Star Wars tone. But with Rogue One, Lucasfilm’s definition of “original story” was “the movie takes place literally a few days before A New Hope.”

And remember Ass-Face Roy and Joe Walrus from the Mon Eisley Cantina? Hooray or something, they came back in Rogue One!

LucasfilmTheir plot arc is: “Get drunk and wander around the Galaxy.”

This scene is similar to one later in the movie, when we see C-3PO and R2-D2 on Yavin, watching the fleet roll out.

LucasfilmJust in case you’d forgotten what franchise you were watching.

This is weird, considering that they’re in that very fleet in A New Hope. Fans have already done the mental gymnastics required to fix this obvious mistake (“They must have taken a shuttle later into the war zone, because that totally makes sense!”), but the obvious answer is that Lucasfilm simply wanted to shove these characters into Rogue One and didn’t bother to think about it too hard. And hey, when this kind of nostalgia callback inevitably wears off, people will have to confront the merits of the writing itself, y’know?

And let’s talk about the spinoff movies (like Rogue One) for a second. These could explore enigmatic side characters like Boba Fett, jump forward or back centuries, or even completely switch genres. Who wouldn’t want to see a Star Wars noir-style detective film? There are so many amazing options …

BBCOh.

Or make a Han Solo origin, I guess? Hey, wasn’t A New Hope already the Han Solo origin? See, there’s a reason that film began when it did: It was the most interesting point to start. We didn’t need to know what Han was up to before saving the fucking Galaxy any more than we needed to see how Leia got the Death Star plans. These are footnotes to a bigger story. Devoting films to them is like if Peter Jackson made a two-hour Lord Of The Rings spinoff adventure about Aragorn hitchhiking to the Prancing Pony.

What frustrates me here is that it’s not like there aren’t popular Star Wars characters that it wouldn’t be awesome to see the origin of. (Yoda has no doubt seen his share of adventures and/or psychic goblin orgies.) But I think the reason we’re getting Han Solo is because it’s safe from a writing perspective. He’s a beloved character, a known quantity. His “origin” will undoubtedly be a series of unbearable callbacks to minutiae from A New Hope. In other words, brace yourself for a nail-biting “Kessel Run” sequence in which the prize is a vest.

4

Forcing A New Star Wars Every Year Means Rushing Out Crap

Everyone knows that classic I Love Lucy bit in which Lucy’s wrapping chocolate on a production line, and the conveyor goes so fast that she gets desperate and starts eating the candy to keep up, but Lucy still makes billions worldwide, because people will eat chocolate no matter how sloppy and slapdash it is.

If you haven’t puzzled out my brilliant analogy, Star Wars is the chocolate and Lucasfilm is the hilarious 1950s comedienne. Disney has decided that the world deserves a new Star Wars film every 365 days, because nothing says “quality” like deciding the release date before knowing what you’re making. (That’s why restaurants always bring your meal out in exactly five minutes, no matter how undercooked it is.)

The moral of the story is “rushing is dumb.” It’s why back when most TV shows had 20+ episodes a season, we’d get hogwash like clip shows and that one X-Files where the villain was a clowder of cats. We learned over time that it’s better to have a smaller amount of high-quality things than a large amount of poor-quality things. This applies to 99 percent of everything humanity has ever created. And if you don’t believe me, look at the small library’s worth of articles about Lucasfilm’s current production problems.

As The Hollywood Reporter notes, Lucasfilm’s schedule is so nuts that they’re hemorrhaging writers and directors. The script for A New Hope took three years and four drafts to complete, but the process for Rogue One was so zippy that they were writing pivotal scenes during post-production.

So if you’re wondering why these new films seem to borrow so much from the originals, it’s because who has time to think of something new? Who has time to consider plot holes or character inconsistencies when you’re barreling toward a release date? This is the kind of dumb idea that forces you to panic and fire your directors five months into filming.

So yeah, slow the fuck down, Disney. No one is going to forget Star Wars exists if you skip a year. The world once went, like, 16 years without a new Star Wars movie. Those were some wild days.

3

And, Uh, Stop Hiring Indie Directors

Let’s talk about Colin Trevorrow. For those unaware, Trevorrow got his start with a low-budget film called Safety Not Guaranteed, which was based off of a funny fake ad in the newspaper. It’s a perfectly existing movie. So how did he go from that straight to directing Jurassic World? Well, the studio originally wanted Brad Bird (The Incredibles) to direct, and when Bird declined, he referred them to Trevorrow because he liked Safety. In a world full of qualified sci-fi and action directors, this one reference boosted an indie comedy guy to Spielbergian status. And Hollywood being Hollywood, Trevorrow also got a Star Wars out of the deal, because why the hell not.

That’s when things got stupid. After being personally hired by Spielberg for Jurassic World, the newbie director asserted himself hard during the production process and reportedly became difficult to work with. And while a good director is supposed to lead the charge, his lack of experience contrasted with his overconfidence and created a toxic mix, not unlike electing a reality TV show host to be the president of the United States.

And so when his next film, The Book Of Henry, proved to be a confounding disaster, Trevorrow was hastily dropped from Episode IX and replaced with the much more experienced J.J. Abrams. Look, I have nothing against Trevorrow as a director, but the guy was, well, two movies into his career when they hired him for this massive task. And yet for Star Wars, this is a painfully common practice that almost always leads to problems (which I have pointed out again and again).

When Lucasfilm hired Chris Miller and Phil Lord — directors known for improv-heavy comedies like 21 Jump Street and The Lego Movie — one would assume they were there to bring that element to the Han Solo film. And you know what? Neat! Considering what I’ve already said about that premise, a Han Solo comedy about improv space shenanigans would have been kinda awesome. But it turns out that wasn’t what Lucasfilm had in mind, and the directors’ slower shooting style and frustration over lack of creative freedom led to them being replaced with smilin’ Ron Howard.

See the pattern yet? Lucasfilm inexplicably hires inexperienced or unique directors, refuses to let them express themselves, and ultimately has to shitcan them. I’m gonna go ahead and call it “Trank Mania” after Josh Trank, whose troubled times directing the 2015 Fantastic Four reboot reportedly led to him losing the Boba Fett solo movie. (Also, “Trank Mania” sounds like an awesome WWE special, so there’s that.)

2

There’s No Single Person In Charge Of The Story

While he didn’t direct two-thirds of the Original Trilogy, George Lucas did oversee the writing and production of all of them. Today we have similar “George Lucases” for other series — Zack Snyder and the DC Extended Universe, Kevin Feige for Marvel, J.J. Abrams for the new Star Trek films, and Peter Jackson for the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

And so here’s my question: Who is in charge of these new Star Wars films? Is it Kathleen Kennedy, the president of Lucasfilm? Not really. By her own admission, she and Lucasfilm “haven’t mapped out” the direction of the new trilogy, and have been largely leaving it up to each director to figure it out. And that’s kind of insane, isn’t it? Most film trilogies are championed by a single artist keeping track of the details. And without that, you run the risk of setting up plot points with zero payoffs, or adding twists that contradict previous scenes.

To give you an idea of why this is important, when Alan Rickman played Severus Snape, he was made aware (before anyone else) that his character always had a thing for Harry’s mom. That knowledge dictated the way he played the role long before that twist was revealed. Imagine how less effective that performance would have been if he was told, “Oh, by the way, we decided you’ve been good all along!” at the very end.

And right now, the directors of Star Wars are absolutely making those kind of last-minute decisions. You know the ending of Force Awakens, when Rey and Chewie and R2-D2 show up on Luke’s island of Jedi guano and bring him his lightsaber?

Well, it turns out that J.J. Abrams originally planned for BB-8 to be there, and swapped droids at the request of Last Jedi director Rian Johnson. We don’t know why Johnson needed the switch, but it sure seems weird that they’re doing stuff like that. Meanwhile, J.J. is coming back for the final film, and who knows if his plans will match up with what Johnson has set up?

In fairness, both of these directors are good at what they do. But the whole process still seems like they are flying blind with one hand tied behind their backs. And the oddest thing of all is that no one seems to know exactly where it’s all heading, or really why we’re making these films beyond the fact that people love Star Wars. And that brings me to a pretty dark question …

1

Maybe Star Wars Was Never A Repeatable Premise?

There was no fucking way the Hobbit trilogy, or even a Hobbit solo film, was going to be as good as the Lord Of The Rings films. Tolkien wrote Rings as an epic sequel to The Hobbit, and by reversing that order, the movies lowered the stakes. This is the same problem I’m sensing with Star Wars.

The first films were about the saving the entire goddamn Galaxy from tyranny. They were a definitive, standalone series that highlighted the most important event to happen in that universe. Anything else is supplemental and pales in comparison. The prequels worked (on paper) because they didn’t attempt to tell that same story, and focused more on one man’s transition to the Dark Side. (The delivery did have some issues.) But these new sequels seem unable to do much save repackage the same threats from the original films. “They had a Star Destroyer? Well, we have a Mega Star Destroyer!” “You thought the last Death Star was big? Well, ours is even DEATH-IER!”

Look, I’m honestly not certain I’m 100 percent right about this, but I think somewhere down the line, we overestimated how repeatable of a premise Star Wars really was. The originals were a self-contained trilogy, and after they came out, even George Lucas attempted to pivot off of them and find the next big franchise. (Unfortunately, it was called Willow and failed hilariously.)

But Lucas still continued to spend the next decade searching for original stories for his company to tell, eventually giving in and re-releasing Star Wars in the late ’90s. When Titanic knocked the re-release from the #1 box office spot, he went full tilt and dug up his idea for the prequel. And after that, the world’s never stopped wanting more.

But I believe that through all his attempts to revive the franchise, Lucas knew in his heart that the most important, most epic, and beloved part of Star Wars had long been told.

He knew, deep inside his hirsute gullet, that it was time to move on. That Star Wars would never be as special as that first time.

Unfortunately, it might take the rest of us a bit longer to figure that out.

If you’re George Lucas and wanna vent (or maybe just hang out sometime), contact Dave on Twitter.

The new Star Wars movies may be flawed, and we know porgs are just marketing gimmicks. But goddamnit we want still want porgs.

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                                                          DECEMBER        2017

*****The Astros win the World series.

*****Jill Kimmel is doing stand up.** Her brother Jimmy’s childhood drawings were turned into flesh super heroes The terrific Ten.** Jimmy is in a twitter war with Roy Moore. After being called out by Moore, Jimmy is heading to Alabama to either fight or talk since he is unsure of what Moore is taunting him to do. He wants to dress like a girl scout since he feels that Moore only notices little girls. Kimmel would really like to talk Christianity because as a Christian he does not understand him.

*****So.. Scary clown has delayed his decision on elephant trophy’s which has angered hunting groups.** It is said that Rex Tillerson is about to be out and Mike Pompeo in. Business as usual!

**** The tax bill is atrocious. It adds a trillion to the deficit and the middle class tax cuts would expire.  They are trying to sneak in a caveat in the part about college savings plan. It would not actually change anything for savings now but it a backdoor way to have their way on abortion. It would introduce ‘fetal personhood’ into law which of course would be a short leap to taking away choice.

*****Scary clown 45 is ranting about the jury in the case of Kate Steinley who the jury says was accidently shot by an immigrant named Jose Inez Garcia Zarate.  Trump has been ranting about this case for a while now but the San Francisco trial just ended.** And we are really seeing what Trump and his fake news are doing to the world. His yelling about CNN put doubt into other countries about a REAL story they did on modern day slave auctions in Libya. These are real humans that need help and he has others doubting the very story. ** He also put out fake stories about terrorism which were debunked but Huckabee Sanders said it does not matter if the stories are real, the threat is real. The fake news also gave much free publicity to hate group Britain First.

*****The original Conklin’s barn was torn down on November 7. Fingers crossed that the donations will keep coming in so they can reopen by December 2018 as Barn 3. Time for some Days cast members to donate some fundraising time??

*****Patton Oswalt kicked ass in his new Netflix special Annihilation and also just got married to Meredith Salenger.

*****Boo Boo Stewart and Mark Derwin star in Lowlifes out in 2018. Lowlifes is the story of a second chance boot camp who stumble onto a terrorist group.

*****Meghan McCain seems so angry and it seems she wants to tear Joy Behar’s head off sometimes. She is supportive of some liberal agendas but automatically turns off some ideas simply because of who is proposing them. This is the very thing she rails against. I did love her take on sleezy Matt Lauer though, I too never had any respect for him after the Anne Curry thing. And c’mon ET all the Lauer clips you showed seemed to have him in front of Rolling Stones advertising.** Lauer has been accused of many things including exposing himself. Why do these men always think we want to see their dicks? They all think they have something special, they are not that fucking different. Keep it in your pants, most would be embarrassed if they were held up to other men. And I don not believe for a minute that Jeff Zucker did not know about it. I never trusted him either.

*****China says that Trump is proof that democracy does not work. They are benefitting from our misery and zeroing in on being number 1. Besides spreading propaganda, they are making lots of jobs with clean energy that they can sell to the world.

*****Steve Green of Hobby Lobby has finally opened the 500 million dollar Bible museum. The idea of making all guests sign a promise to become evangelicals when they leave was nixed.

*****$15 mil in taxpayer money has been spent on the sexual harassment complaints of congress.

*****James Jagger and Matilda Lutz are the face of Giorgio Armani’s fragrances Because it’s you for her and Stronger with you for him.

*****Commerce secretary Wilbur Ross declared the divestment of his holdings but he’s still part owner in a company. This Russian company has ties to Putin’s son in law.

*****Please Please Conan.. More Butterscotch the clown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****The UK is having its own political and sexual misconduct scandals including a secretary of state Damian Green.

*****The Mark Twain prize for Letterman was filled with my favorites and was very emotional. Al Franken edited out? Maher is right: The liberals are pussies.

*****The Paradise papers about offshore finances were leaked.  The secret financial activities of the superrich show a lot of Russian dealings. There are also questions about Queen Elizabeth’s private estate and other business leaders.

*****The list of those accused of sexual misconduct grows, from Dustin Hoffman to Brett Ratner to Russell Simmons and more to come. Simmons is accused of raping Lena Horne’s granddaughter. We need a special kind of thank you for Ronan Farrow who is working tirelessly to blow the lid off of the Weinstein bullshit. I Can’t wait for his new book. He has exposed many things which have helped feel safe enough to come forward. So many helped in the Weinstein mess , including Dylan Howard, chief content officer of American Media Inc. which publishes The Enquirer. Howard was apparently a helper in the disgusting network of suppression. Sime sticks together like Levin sticks with Trump.** We need a real truth teller, an honest Cronkite type and I see it in Ronan. **Jane Seymour had her own story of sexual harassment with a powerful producer at the start of her career.** Charlie Rose is fired after his allegations. That one hurts.** I am so glad the women are coming forward. The bravery of citizens like in The Keepers is opening up a world of (hopefully) more truth, more justice. ** Are political operatives helping to dig any of this up?** A good portion of people I know are natural flirts. Are there some who don’t even realize that they are offending? Out and out rape and authority figures who try to stop an employee’s rise when they do not get their sexual way is obviously wrong.  We are human though and sometimes that line may be crossed unintentionally. I think each story has to be looked at for what it is. We must discern between real and cruel sexual situations and tasteless jokes and bad manners. All is wrong but there are different ways to deal with the accused. Listen fully to the stories from the victim’s mouth. Follow the evidence and force yes or no answers. This political speak of “let me tell you” or “I will say this” is nonsense. People out and out believe that celebs of journalists did the bad deed but politicians receive more skepticism. People take the side of their left or right hero without really listening. If you can’t see the difference I wonder about your ability to reason, about your moral compass. An Al Franken or Garrison Keillor seem to be a bit different from a Weinstein. ** Uma Thurman had a great tweet: Happy Thanksgiving everyone (except you Harvey, and all your wicked conspirators. I’m glad it’s going slowly-you don’t deserve a bullet)** Pelosi could be a little more eloquent and quit getting in her own way defending the left. Just before I put this page out, Pelosi says Conyers should resign.. WOW! complete turn around.** A woman came forward to the Washington Post trying to push some fake news about Roy Moore. She claimed that she was impregnated by him and then it was found that she was meeting with Project Veritas whose purpose it is to set up stings on the mainstream media. Of course there are REAL reporters at the Post so the story was not published.  Hmm imagine looking up facts and not getting your news from the 700 Club or online scuttlebutt. ** Isn’t all the money and power enough for these men at the top? Law and order SVU must have enough script ideas for another 20 years.** Is all the women standing up and not taking it anymore what we get for losing Hillary? It is like she had to sacrifice herself and gain liberation for the rest of us. So many can’t believe what got into the White house and real truths need to be out there. WAKE

*****Prince Harry and former Deal or no Deal employee, Meghan Markle are engaged .

*****The governor’s award honored Donald Sutherland

***** Fashion Police on E is over.

*****I watched Ozark on Netflix and wasn’t too sure after the first episode but tried the second and then I was in. There were times when I could not quite suspend my disbelief but then there were so many characters that I seemed to recognize from my real life. Bateman and many deserve some love for this project and I will miss Russ in season 2.

*****Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr story sounds like a great doc.

*****The Grammy noms are out and leading the way was Jay-Z with 8. That was followed up with Kendrick Lamar, Bruno Mars, SZA, Childish Gambino and Khalid. Also on the list of nominations are Lorde, Lady Gaga, Imagine Dragons, Bob Dylan, Kraftwerk, Leonard Cohen, Jason Isbell, Gregg Allman, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Bruce Springsteen, Bernie Sanders, Carrie Fisher, Dave Chappelle, Queens of the stone age, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Silverman, Kevin Hart and The Rolling Stones.

*****So glad Search Party on TBS is back!!

*****The Crowns Plaza hotel has a projection on the outside of the building that declares FUCK TRUMP.

*****Don’t take your eyes off this administration and the judges he is putting in place, the rules that he and his cohorts are changing and the rights he is taking away from all of us. We have a lot to deal with now but don’t let his tweets or his slick talkers distract you. Yes we need justice from the Russian probe but somebody is handling that,. I wish the news would let that play out and update us more on what they are taking from us.** If you can’t see what is wtong with a Trump or a Roy Moore, I have to wonder about your moral character.

*****Hooray for Washington Week for 50 years and Meet the Press for 70. Thanks Washington Week for your touching tribute to Gwen Ifill.

*****Dan Rather has a new book, What unites us.

*****Nathan Fillion is back on ABC with The Rookie. The program is inspired by a true story of the oldest rookie in the LAPD from the executive producer of Criminal Minds, Mark Gordon.

*****For the fifth year in a row Michael Jackson has been the top dead celebrity earner.

*****Laurence Fishburne is divorcing Gina Torres.

*****Papa John’s has apologized for blaming the knee taking football players for low pizza sales. C’mon who eats that pizza anyway?.. get a good product!** The alt right has named them their official pizza.

*****Voting has begun for the rock and roll hall of fame. This year we have Bon Jovi, the Moody Blues, Dire Straits, The Cars. Judas Priest, The Eurythmics, The Zombies, J. Geils Band( please finally!!!!!), Depeche Mode and Nina Simone.

*****U.S. court judge Colleen Kollar- Kotelly barred Trump from continuing with plans to exclude transgender people from military service and thinks those who have sued have a good case.

*****So.. What the fuck is the hinky biz going on at Guantanamo?  The place has its own rules and nobody can seem to agree on said rules. Brigadier General Baker found good cause for Nashiri, a suspect in the USS Cole bombing, to lose his lawyers. After the lawyers were allowed to quit, a judge ordered Baker to rescind that order but he refused.  The judge put the General in jail. The General , a U.S. citizen and  the 2nd highest ranking officer in the military claims the judge has no jurisdiction over him. We will have to see how this plays out.

*****James Comey is releasing his story in May with the book A Higher Loyalty.

*****Michael Lewis tells us about all the prep the Obama administration went thru to bring the Trump administration up to snuff in his new nook The Undoing project.

*****Brit Vandegraft married John Witt on October 14 and honeymooned thru Dallas and on to the West.

*****According to the pentagon, America has spent $250 mil a day on war every single day for sixteen years.

*****Donna Brazile’s book Hacks claims the Dem campaigns were offered a chance to bail out the DNC and get much support. The Bernie campaign declined but the Hillary campaign supplied the money. Brazile seemed a bit surprised and rattled about the reaction to her book in the beginning.  After a couple of weeks she settled into it and the defensiveness sort of faded.  She tells us that she has been in politics for fifty years and if we don’t like it ,we don’t have to buy it. She claims she enjoyed Hillary’s book and backed her all the way.  Brazile writes that she got to the bottom of everything when she took over the DNC and was threatened over and over again.

*****Days alert: WTF Adrienne?? Poor Lucas never gets to keep the girl! **Peggy McCay celebrated her 90th.** Keep Hope and Raif together. Damn!

*****So glad to see Katherine Erbe on How to get away with murder.

*****Spot on writing and acting on another level with Jane and Lily and Sam and Martin on Grace and Frankie. What treasures!!  Thrilled to see the appearance of Mary kay Place . Craig Welzbacher who played Myron on Days was on there too.

*****Dinklage, Harrelson and McDormand in Three Billboards… can’t wait.

*****This winter, Trump requested 70 foreign workers with special permission from the U.S. labor department for Mar –A- Lago. He also would like some for various golf clubs thru the H-2B visa program. There are currently 5,136 qualified persons in the area ready to work. America first?

*****The second part of Stranger Things just as good as the first.

*****Scary Clown 45 is being sued because he blocked twitter followers.  He now knows that since he uses his tweets as an ‘instrument of governance’ blocking is not allowed.

*****Fifty years brings Rolling Stone magazine an HBO doc, a rock and roll hall of fame exhibit and the whole thing up for sale.

*****Rand Paul was attacked by his neighbor as he mowed his lawn.

*****Ok.. I realize that shows like The View have to shift.. well I guess they do.. But I don’t get how they can talk about a shooting and then hey ”view your deal’.  C’mon, it just seems so inappropriate to suddenly talk about spending $ on silly things. I always tune out when this shit happens.. can’t this shit be at the end of the show. No offense to those companies but I do not watch for that. .. But good for Sonny Hostin for going to Puerto Rico to tell their story.

*****Sad to see Dale Earnhardt Jr run his last race. Is Chase Elliott the next Mr. popular ?

*****An American woman, Shalane Flanagan won the New York marathon.

*****Manafort had 3 passports and we won’t get to the trial for he and Gates until May.

*****Charles Manson is dead. Writer Phil Luciano still has some letters from him that he does not know what to do with. They are now headed into the Lincoln library in Springfield, Il.** How did Charlie wrangle such good publicity from American Horror story? The timing as usual is impeccable. Charles (Manson) in charge?** The History channel seems to have some unheard recordings from Charlie that will air on December 3 as Manson Speaks.

*****Prince Salmon Mohamed is purging in Saudi Arabia. His crackdown has included about 500 other Princes who have been rounded up. He is consolidating power and getting rid of enemies. Just days before Jared Kushner went for a visit.  It seems like so many ego driven men in the world today are grabbing all the power they can.

*****Check out Jeff Ross roasts the border.

*****The recent elections went pretty well for the left including Bill DeBlasio. Congrats to all the newly elected including the first openly trans woman and an African American mayor in Montana. Nobody should get too cocky.

*****The VA says they won’t help the dishonorably discharged per the Trump team.  Hmm no help from VA, no universal health care.. I guess soldiers should suffer in silence, beat their families or become addicts.

*****Wow Darrell Hammond was awesome on a Criminal Minds that Aisha Tyler directed.** BTW Did ya see the episode where Mantagna utters the line, “I don’t like a the snakes.’? OMG

*****HBO is making a limited series about the Jonestown tragedy with Vince Gilligan and Octavia Spencer.

***** Watch for Peter Fonda in The Ballad of Lefty Brown coming out December 15.

***** So.. Tiny kitchens are a thing?

***** Pumpkin spice has reached its peak. Pumpkin out: Maple in.

*****Check out Sean Astin as Paul Manafort in Houseguest (on Colbert).

*****I thought my head was gonna explode when Bill Maher had Michael Moore, Donna Brazile, Chris Matthews and Sarah Silverman on the same episode.

*****So the People mag sexiest man is stupid anyway but Idris isn’t the man this year? WTF??

*****Jim and Andy: The story inside the story inside the story of Carrey playing Kaufman. This is a great piece of work.  Is it wrong to say how hot it is that Jim gets this look in his eye about Andy? Even though he is no longer inhabited by Kaufman, something seems to bubble inside him when he talks about the man.

*****On November 14th Bob Corker held hearings on executive authority to use nuke’s .

*****The Louis CK film I was looking forward to ‘I love you Daddy’ looks like a wash.

*****They say the Pres has no control over fuel prices but Trump in.. prices soaring.

*****Rwanda has offered to host African migrants stranded in Libya.

*****Why do people always say they did not think it would happen to them or their communities when shootings happen? How long does it take to sink in to Americans that mental illness and this obsession with weapons is everywhere?  I will agree with a couple of things that the NRA says like we need to enforce the rules in place better a that mental health is a big part of the problem. If mental health is the real issue then where is the universal health care we need to take care of this problem?

*****GQ has named Colin Kaepernick citizen of the year.

*****Just as I am posting this the Mike Flynn charges were announced. They broke into the news with this news. A real reporter must never get any sleep in these Trump times. Apparently he is pleading guilty and cooperating in the Russian investigation. Go Go GO DOJ!

*****Why is the last sketch on Saturday Night Live usually the best?

*****R.I.P. Dennis Banks, Liz Smith, Lil Peep, Malcolm Young, George Young, Brad Bufanda, victims of the Texas church shooting, Gloria Fallon, Roy Halladay, Robert Knight, Chuck Mosley, John Hillerman, Paul Buckmaster, Mel Tillis, Della Reese, David Cassidy, Earle Hyman, Joseph L. White, Jim Nabors and Rance Howard.

��

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 3/22/17

SEAN: …eurgh.

Dark Horse has the 4th and final volume of Dangan Ronpa. Will anyone survive? And will any more manga spinoffs be licensed?

J-Novel Club debuts another series with a ludicrous-seeming premise, In Another World With My Smartphone. Still, they’ve won me over with ridiculous books before…

ASH: Though I’ve fallen way behind in my light novel reading, I do continue to be amused by the absurdity of some of these titles.

ANNA: That is sort of hilarious, but I’m just not a light novel reader. If only someone would bring back the 12 Kingdoms books…..

ASH: YES! I would love that so much.

MICHELLE: I was thinking about those books just the other day! I also would read the Saiunkoku light novels.

SEAN: Kodansha has a pile of stuff, including three more digital debuts. Altair: A Record of Battles is a long-running manga from Shonen Sirius, and it’s supposed to look fantastic. Also, more historical manga, yay! Basically, this is the sort of title the Off the Shelf column was made for.

ASH: I was not aware of this series at all! Definitely sounds like something that I’d be interested in reading.

MICHELLE: I don’t know much about it, but many of the covers are gorgeous, so that’s encouraging.

ANNA: Huh, this does sound intriguing.

MELINDA: Well, huh. I think you’re right!

SEAN: BLAME! Academy And So On is a spinoff of the main BLAME! manga that I think is similar to Spoof on Titan. It’s also digital only.

MICHELLE: I don’t know… I really loved BLAME!, perhaps to the point where I wouldn’t find a spoof amusing.

ANNA: I still need to read BLAME!.

SEAN: It’s not all digital. Clockwork Planet makes its print debut. It’s also Shonen Sirius, but seems to be more SF steampunk and fanservice.

And some series are ending, as we get the 7th and final volume of Forget Me Not.

The next digital debut next week is also a “Hey, Michelle and Melinda!” sort of series. Hozuki’s Coolheadedness is a long-running series from Weekly Morning, about a deputy of the King of Hell and his daily life. It’s won awards.

ASH: I’ve seen a little bit of the anime adaptation and it was great fun. I suspect the manga is as well!

MICHELLE: Totally on my list!

MELINDA: Oh yeah, this, so much this.

SEAN: Kodansha has a 3rd volume of In/Spectre and its wonderfully annoying female lead, who I love.

Lastly (at least digitally) is Museum, which runs in Young Magazine and looks dark and depressing as hell.

MICHELLE: I don’t typically go for dark and depressing, but this one seems to be a mystery complete in three volumes, and that does have some appeal.

SEAN: And a 4th volume of That Wolf-Boy Is Mine.

MICHELLE: I’m looking forward to this, which I believe is also the final volume.

SEAN: UQ Holder has transitioned from weekly to monthly in Japan, and that seems to mean volumes are coming out slower here as well. Here’s the 10th volume.

Seven Seas has some stuff as well. A Centaur’s Life never fails to puzzle and confuse me with what demographic it’s actually aiming for, even at its 11th volume.

Lord Marksman and Vanadis has a 3rd volume of fantasy action.

And there’s a 6th Merman in My Tub, which I think may have caught up with Japan.

More BLAME!, as Vertical is releasing the 3rd of its giant omnibus editions.

MELINDA: These really look so nice.

SEAN: Viz has a 5th volume of peppy slice-of-life comedy Goodnight Punpun.

ASH: Goodnight Punpun continues to devastate me, but I still find it compelling.

ANNA: I don’t think I have the emotional fortitude to read it yet.

ASH: It does take a fair amount; I have to time my reading carefully.

MICHELLE: I feel much the same, Anna.

SEAN: As well as another volume of Master Keaton, now in double digits.

ANNA: I love this series.

SEAN: And there always seems to be more Terra Formars, with its 17th volume.

Hooray! That’s it… oh wait, Yen. In fact, we’re not even halfway there. (sobs)

Yen On has 4 books this month, i.e. it’s a very light month for them. First off, Accel World 9 finally finishes off its huge 4-book arc.

Durarara!! also wraps up another arc with its 6th volume. All I can say is: pen. DRRR fans will know what I mean.

Log Horizon’s 7th volume shows us what Shiroe and his group were doing while the events of Book 6 happened.

And Re: Zero shows us Subaru trying desperately not to get killed by his maids.

Oh yes, and for digital lovers, volumes 7-10 of Spice & Wolf’s novels are also out next week.

Now for all the manga they’re releasing. Accel World also has a manga release with its 7th volume.

There’s a 5th volume of the Akame Ga KILL! ZERO spinoff.

The Asterisk War gets a 3rd manga volume.

Always enjoyable Barakamon has lucky Vol. 13, and I find I no longer keep comparing it to Yotsuba&!.

MICHELLE: I still plan to get caught up on Barakamon soon. I have a huge pile.

SEAN: Blood Lad has an 8th omnibus, and is nearing the finale but is not quite there yet.

MICHELLE: Yay! I haven’t read this series in ages.

SEAN: There’s a 3rd volume of the Boy and the Beast manga adaptation.

As well as a 2nd Bungo Stray Dogs.

ASH: As someone who is somewhat well-versed in Japanese literature, I got a huge kick out of the first volume and plan on reading more. I’m not sure the series works as well for people who don’t catch most of the references, though.

MELINDA: I plan on checking this out.

SEAN: More manga adaptations of light novels! Here’s the second Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody.

MORE manga adaptations of light novels! An 8th Devil Is a Part-Timer!.

Dragons Rioting has a 6th volume of what still appears to me to be mostly breasts.

Fruits Basket’s Collectors Edition has reached its penultimate volume, and features more angst than you can shake a stick at.

MICHELLE: Heh.

MELINDA: YES.

SEAN: There’s a 5th print volume of Handa-kun as well.

We have reached the last volume of He’s My Only Vampire, and while I enjoyed it, I am also very happy to see it’s ending.

MICHELLE: Same!

ANNA: One of the few vampire titles I haven’t read!!!

SEAN: The Honor Student at Magic High School continues to be irritatingly ahead of the light novel release with Vol. 6.

Kiniro Mosaic has a 2nd volume of cute girls being cute and maybe sort of yuri.

Then more yuri with the debut of Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl, which may be from Comic Alive but is apparently on the ‘sweet and cute’ end of the yuri spectrum.

ASH: I plan on giving this one a look! The cover is adorable if nothing else.

MICHELLE: I’m looking forward to this one, too! My friend said, “It’s S. A with lesbians!”

MELINDA: Absolutely on my list!

SEAN: Love at Fourteen finally returns with a 6th volume, and let’s face it, these kids are fifteen now.

MICHELLE: Heh. Another series on the read-me-soon pile.

SEAN: EVEN MORE manga adaptations of light novels, with the 4th OreGairu manga, which it too long to type out.

Speaking of long titles, a 6th Of the Red, the Light and the Ayakashi.

ASH: I really need to catch up with this series! I enjoyed the early volumes, but have fallen behind.

SEAN: Return of the Son of manga adaptations of light novels, with the 6th Strike the Blood manga.

Manga Adaptations of Light Novels Must Be Destroyed with the 5th Sword Art Online: Progressive manga, which as always needs MORE ARGO.

A third print volume of Today’s Cerberus.

Twinkle Stars has a 2nd omnibus, and I suspect will continue to deal with not being Fruits Basket.

MICHELLE: But it’s so good!

MELINDA: I am behind on this, and can’t even quite believe I let that happen!

SEAN: And there’s an 8th (really 9th) Ubel Blatt omnibus.

So that’s 48 titles, and that’s not even counting the 2 that Yen delayed to the week after next just because. I think this is a new record. What say you?

By: Sean Gaffney

[hookysblog]

UNITED STATES of AMERICA

Pottsy out of his box again!

WEBSTER HALL, NEW YORK 1ST.

Lovely to be back in America to premiere the Substance tour, today is Friday. The plane we flew over on must have been in service from the 70’s? You didn’t have to look out of the window you could just look out between the gaps in the bulkheads…..scary! Apart from that it was a nice flight over to Toronto to sort out the Merch for our tour. Then we make our way to N.Y.C, and sure enough landing in New York is wonderful to see still, but the traffic afterwards, is terrible;( Luckily our hotel is near the gig so I can walk to sound check and then after to the gig, which is great fun.

This really is a supercharged city, crackling with energy. This first night is nearly full and the atmosphere is superb. A great reception for New Order and again for Joy Division, quite balanced I thought. It is lovely to be here. Only problem I have is my transmitter for my guitar will not work??? And if I move more than 4 ft away from it the signal drops completely …so no bass. This really hampers me on stage, as I cannot go to the sides. What a bummer. I hate it;( I am thinking it's the Bluetooth signal being overloaded or bounced back by everybody’s phone in the Hall). Shit! I struggle through feeling very immobile. Outside afterwards two English girls grab me and go to great lengths to tell me that,

‘It felt like Art. In fact it was Art.’ They chorus.

I am very flattered. It isn’t easy by any means, but The Light work so hard for me, and the music, that sometimes it feels it. Thank you boys!

 WEBSTER HALL, NEW YORK 2Nd.

Back to the gym for me and a nice afternoon beckons. As I walk to the gig again, I marvel at how busy this town is. It is Saturday night and you can feel it in the air…..Hope and Life everywhere. Everything I see as I walk along reminds me of film after film, or series after series, Assault on Precinct 13, Kramer vs Kramer etc., Kojak to Sex and The City. Bonkers. The second night is better than ever as I start to relax a little. We have many new and old friends present which is lovely. A SELL OUT! crowd goes mental from start to finish, the bass is the same, meaning I cannot venture far from my transmitter, which is now really annoying me as I forgot to mention it to Phil. Afterwards he puts me in an Uber saying,

‘You can’t walk at this time it’s dangerous!’

Oh how I regret that. It took 25 mins to walk and in the cab 75mins? As I drag myself to bed tired out (then can’t sleep because of the adrenaline/Jet lag) I think how lucky I am. Thank you God.

Up early, a bit bleary eyed but so are the others, and we get join the crawl to JFK for our flight to…..

 THE WILTERN, LOS ANGELES.

 I love L.A, always have, ever since the first time we came in 1981 and Bruce Willis stopped in his Mercedes 500 to let us cross Sunset Boulevard. What a place! It is totally ridiculous but great fun. The Wiltern on Wiltshire is a wonderful old theatre, very well kept and still beautiful inside and out.

Huge and ‘Sold Out’ again, what is going on??? I am very proud. Tonight my old mucker Moby is on board singing Ceremony and Transmission.

He seems very relaxed indeed, and both songs go off without a hitch. Afterwards I meet a young girl absolutely covered in tattoos, all of Joy Division. She is very young and proudly rolls her sleeve up to show me…..my signature??? Tattooed on her arm from when I signed it in 2013. WOW!

I am amazed by our fan’s devotion, I really am. It is humbling.

I get to see some great old friends while I am here, and learn some very interesting things about New Odour. But hey, let’s not go there;) Let’s keep it light, no pun intended;)

 SAN ANTONIO

A nice flight down to San Antonio, which has just been flooded and our Hotel smells like it too. It stinks of damp and humidity. The gig is a funky old club but quite small but has been SOLD OUT! for months, and as the evening and my old friend Kerry Jagger appears, the place is packed, and amazingly both sides, left and right, open out to let in more people. We play very well and it is as hot as hell. I help a woman out with some water at the front of the stage for her young daughter, eventually I have to bring them both up on stage for the rest of the set, it is simply too boisterous at the front. Afterwards as we chat, she tells me she had been to see New Odour recently and her daughter had thrown up at their gig! I am lost for words, but take it as a compliment;)

 CAFÉ IGUANA, MONTEREY, MEXICO.

 A nice flight sees us in Mehico again, and Monterey is a very American city. Sold out tonight and it does not disappoint. A very enthusiastic audience love New Order then devour Joy Division. Fantastic.

 JOSE CUERVO PEPSI HALL, MEXICO CITY.

Nice to see our old friend Hector.

Mexico City is proving to be a fantastic place for us to play, simply because of the adoration of Joy Division. It seems the most searched for group on the internet in Mexico City is the Manchester Post Punk Pioneers….Hooray! Hence all the bootleg merchandise stalls outside the venue. Like a little village of illicit merch!

The venue is huge and we are told The Stone Roses played 3 weeks ago and got 5000 people. Tonight we get 4600! I am delighted. The New Order section goes well but The Joy Division set goes down bonkers….It is  amazing! I am flabbergasted. I tear off into the night as the last chord of L.W.T.U.A. is still ringing in my ears, smiling like a lunatic. I had spent the day jogging round the city and it is such a delightful place, the people are lovely. I am amazed that American’s are so scared of the place;(

 GUADALAJARA

  After last night we are really looking forward to playing here, but typically after the fantastic high of last night we are due a low. The lads have trouble from the moment they get into the venue. A dangerous stage, a P.A. company that normally does weddings, complete with a dangerous generator, terrible backline hire gear, no security, no promoter etc, etc.,

Phil phones me to tell me how bad it is going and worrying about not only our safety but also the audiences. No one at the venue seems to know how many tickets have been sold and Phil takes the heart breaking decision to pull the gig;( What a shame. We are devastated. We were having such a great time too. A quiet night beckons and then we make the long journey home on two of the oldest planes I have ever been on since coming out here. Blooming hell what’s going on?

  I arrive home and go into 10 days of book promotion, which was hard going.

Me an Bunny

Talking is so much more difficult than playing. It wears you out, it really does.

 me and ken

With a bit of promotion for The Hacienda Classical thrown in.

It’ll be soon time to come back to America;)

Cheers Hooky’ 16;)