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[pbj-katz]

The Surreal Murder of Stephanie Marsland

Stephanie Marsland died Friday, March 15th, 2019, she had turned 16 only three weeks earlier. They found her on the east side of Yew Dr., approximately a quarter before four in Harpy, Colorado. During the initial examination, experts determined she had died only 15 minutes prior to the discovery.

Drowning.

She was face down in a puddle of maybe 4 inches of water; it had rained through the night before, and into the day, stopping only an hour before school was released. The pothole that held the water was the infamous Silly Billy hole. The name, well disputed on who had given it to the pothole, was in front of the house of William Harris, an elderly man who, as many of the folks who lived in Harpy would have claimed, had been living in the house before the town was even built. Despite the rumors right after his death from a heart attack three days later, William Harris was not the one to find the girl. No, that task was left to 10-year-old Sean Abshear, who sat on the ground with wet cement soaking into his brand new jeans and screamed until someone pulled him away from the sight.

“Those jeans, they were stained. I had to throw them away. Spent nearly 90 dollars on them and threw them away because Sean didn’t have the common sense to knock on a door. He gets that from his father.” His mother, Kimberly Abshear, would tell their neighbor Beverly Turner when asked what had happened that day. But of course, when Beverly went over to the Abshear’s house, she was looking for the gruesome details.

Within four months, Silly Billy, who had been filled with asphalt every year only to return deeper and more vengeful each year, would disappear. As if overnight, the town of Harpy would close Yew Dr., and reopen it three weeks later, freshly paved.

“I guess something good came from that girl’s death.” Fred Bowman stood on his porch early in the morning, looking out on the new street. Standing just outside the door, his husband felt a shiver crawl up his back, the only other person who could have heard.

That girl.

“Stephanie was an angel; she had this bright future. We had just started talking about colleges, about her major, about growing. She wasn’t stupid, she wouldn’t have lain down in a puddle, she wouldn’t have killed herself.” Fiona Marsland told a student-made documentary almost a year to the date of her daughter’s death.

Stephanie Marsland was described as a kind-hearted, easygoing girl. She loved dogs, and her younger brothers, often described as a second mother to them. Over the 16 years she was alive, she had an influential impact on the town of Harpy, though mostly gone unnoticed. She would volunteer at events, or at the local hospital, but she was also a shy girl.

“She wouldn’t have won any popularity competitions, that’s for sure. The girl was smart, no question, but the girl was also dim. She could write a paper, and it would be this masterpiece, but the second the girl opened her mouth, nothing would come out. She had friends, I’ve seen her with friends, and she wasn’t ever without someone in the class to team up with, but once all eyes fell on her, she would freeze.” Launa Hempton, Stephanie’s sophomore biology teacher, would tell the police when they first launched their investigation. “No one hated that girl, or at least, I don’t think anyone would. There was nothing to hate, she probably didn’t have a single negative thought in her head. Poor girl, she probably passed out and fell into the wrong place at the wrong time.”

The most popular theory that passed around Harpy. On her way home, Stephanie lost consciousness and accidentally fell into Silly Billy, tragically drowning while no one was aware. But that could not be the case. In the official autopsy, the cause of death was purely drowning. There were no apparent reasons for her to lose consciousness; she was adequately hydrated and had food in her stomach. There were no indications of diabetes, drugs, or alcohol in her system. She did not suffer from anemia, seizures, or low blood pressure, and all her organs appeared to be in good health. Besides the post-mortem broken rib from the CPR, there was no trauma to the body, no blunt force, no sign of any sort of struggle, and no trauma to her body or genitals, her hymen was still intact with no signs of any sort of penetration.

Absolutely no sign of trauma.

In the case of Ms. Stephanie Marsland, her examination came back entirely unremarkable. In the ruling of her death, it appears, in my professional opinion, that she unequivocally drowned. No evidence indicated a fall; had she passed out as suggested, there would have been visible marks on her body, especially if she had completely lost consciousness and couldn’t protect herself. Any sort of wounds I found, three in total, at least a day old, if not older, please refer to my official records for more information on the wounds. Ms. Marsland was the picture of a healthy 16-year-old youth, I have doubts she had ever touched alcohol or any drug stronger than Tylenol. All foreign fibers and hairs came back explainable, again refer to my report. I signed off on the autopsy as drowning, with my report reading: Ms. Stephanie Marsland was in exceptional health, if she momentarily lost consciousness, she would have had lay down and rolled to the point her face found the water, she purposely placed herself into the water, or, and most likely, since an article of clothing seemed to have been removed from the body, she was placed there.

The investigation started within a few days of her death, teens were pulled from classes to answer questions, one of them being maybe Stephanie’s best friend. Jacklyn Pappas sat in front of the police, the grease pen drawn mustache for her dress rehearsal of Hamlet, playing Horatio, still on her face. The questions were straightforward, how long had she known Stephanie? (Since childhood.) How long have you two been friends? (Since childhood.) How well did she know her? (Better than anyone at that school, I would say.) When was the last time she had seen her? (As they dressed after PE.) Was Stephanie acting strange? (No.) Was she showing signs of distress? (I don’t think so.) Did she ever mention feeling sad, depressed, suicidal? (No, despite what people say, she was never a sad person.) What do people say? (Stephanie was suicidal because Justin Goodwin had no interest in her.) Who is Justin Goodwin? (A boy Stephanie did like, a boy that she felt she would never have a chance with.) Did she ever talk to Mr. Goodwin? (No, she was too shy.) Did that make her sad? (No, maybe a little, but she rarely talked about it, she was more focused on her future.) Was Stephanie wearing a bra that day?

Jacklyn could not recall precisely what color, maybe purple, but yes, Stephanie was wearing a bra that day. They had changed twice in front of each other, once for PE, and the second after, both times Jacklyn knew for a fact she was in a bra. To Jacklyn, she would have noticed if Stephanie had not, because, despite her petite frame, she was heavy-breasted. She was not one to go without a bra, not when she knew the attention her breast had already garnered with it on, and if there was anything that she hated more, it was the gawking she got when she began to fill out at the early age of 11. She had mentioned reduction surgery more than once, but it was a dream for when she was older.

When she was found face down in that puddle, Glenn Hopper, a retired medic three houses down from where the boy sat screaming, pulled her from the puddle and administered CPR, he noted the girl had no bra on. Even when her mother sobbed in the morgue with the bag of clothing that she had been wearing, she asked where the bra was. As if the fact this girl had drowned in a puddle did not raise enough eyebrows, the missing article of clothing did. The entire town seemed to agree unanimously that Stephanie lying face first in a puddle was acceptable, but they drew the line at the missing bra.

“She was really nice, she was pretty too, I don’t think many people saw that, but she was a pretty girl.” Franklin Singur had been recorded saying over the phone to the Just a Second in Time podcast. Later in the call, he mentioned to Theresa Hernandez more on the subject. “I know she had gone on one date, maybe a few weeks before her death, I don’t know if you would even call it that, but she had gone out with Lincoln Perry, and he was there that day, one of the last people to see her alive.”

“Did he do it?” Theresa would ask.

“No, no, it’s too easy, isn’t it? But no, Lincoln was just a bystander that day, the real beef was between Justin Goodwin, and Patrick Hawkins. Lincoln was probably home right after she left and had an alibi. I remember eyes were on him for a hot second, but off as if they were like, no, not Lincoln Perry.”

“What exactly do you mean the beef was between Justin Goodwin and Patrick Hawkins?”

The argument of precisely when Justin and Patrick’s abhor for one another began narrowed down to three separate incidents. When questioned by the police, Lincoln would recount the first one, as he had volunteered to talk to them the very second he heard of Stephanie’s passing. “Justin and Patrick never liked each other, Justin grew up in Harpy, where Patrick showed up in the second grade. He was always strange, Patrick, he had these jars, tiny jars, and in the jars he would put bugs. He had one friend, Drake, and Drake isn’t weird, we played basketball together, but even Drake never jumped to Patrick’s defense. We would call him weird, and where Drake would never join in, he would keep his mouth shut. Patrick started our school, and from day one Justin didn’t like the guy. It was never directly one thing, but I think what set it off was when, and we were kids, like seven or eight, but Justin opened those jars into Patrick’s lunchbox, and when he opened it all these weird insects scurried around the table. Everyone was screaming, but Justin was saying, ‘I told you, the freak eats them.’”

The next incident was told by Nicolas Banter after the case was closed when the official transcripts had been released, and the first set of true crime investigators clamped down. Henry James’ podcast, The Back Waters Crimes, would be one of the first to take an interest in the story. Although the broadcast lacked enough information to make it worthwhile, a patron tier granted the audience who contributed five dollars a month the ability to read transcripts of unreleased episodes.

Nicolas Banter: Leans back in his chair, chuckling at the report. Of course, that is the moment Link would say, the bugs.

Henry James: You think that wasn’t it?

Nicolas: No, this paints Justin in a negative light, as if he just judged the freak right off the bat. Yes, what Lincoln said was true, the two clearly hated each other the second their eyes met, but if it wasn’t for Patrick, it wouldn’t have escalated to this.

Henry: So, you think Patrick pushed Justin to spill the bugs in his lunch bag?

Nicolas: No, I know for a fact it was. Patrick envied Justin, his dad was a chief of police in a different county, about a week before Chief Goodwin arrested Patrick’s dad when he ran a stop sign, and then failed a sobriety test. You see, Patrick was in the damn car. I don’t know if he saw Goodwin and figured, or was told, but the next time he saw Justin he jumped on him, punching the shit out of him, screaming at him. I would not be surprised if the guy killed Stephanie, if COVID didn’t happen, I feel like the investigation would have ended differently.

Henry: What was he saying? To Justin, when he was hitting him?

Nicolas: ‘F—k you and f—k your pig father.’

The case never categorically went cold, but as the year ended, and the climb into 2020 happened, one year came, and it passed one piece of evidence reigniting interest in the case until it came to an abrupt halt late in March 2020, when the country shut down due to the pandemic. Only Drake Hamal knew a story that the other two were oblivious to, potentially explaining the true cause of the two boys’ mutual hatred. He penned his human-interest story in his college newspaper detailing the event.

Nearly three years ago, while I was in high school, a girl was found dead. She had been drowned in a puddle four blocks from my house. The biggest spotlight fell on two students that I had known since elementary school, an incident that occurred at school, and then developed through the day until escalating off campus. In the end, a girl was found dead, and the boy’s pointed fingers at the other, as they had done almost a decade before.

PH moved from Utah, his family was Mormons, as was JG, they belonged to the same church. Years later, PH finally revealed to me the exact details of what had occurred, a truth that I deeply regretted knowing. JG was no stranger to attending events put on by Mr. G, who was heavily involved in the church. The boys, who must have been seven, were left to watch a movie in JG’s family den, when the DVD skipped, and they both went up to the main house to inform the adults, but found the house empty. PH claimed that JG suggested checking upstairs, but they both ascended to the second floor upon hearing a noise. It was a relief, PH would tell me, they weren’t alone, but as he went to open the door, JG told him no, that he wasn’t allowed to when the door was shut, but PH still turned the knob.

PH’s parents plus JG’s mother were engaged in sexual relations as JG’s dad watched. He would tell me Mr. G sat in a chair tucked back in the corner, naked as the others were, but still never taking his eyes off what was unfolding in front of him. As a teenager, we were just about 15 when this story was told to me; he understood what exactly was happening, but there, as he saw what he would call a pathetic pig watch his wife take it, he felt as if Mr. G was who to blame, by extension, JG too.

Yes, they hated each other the second they met, the classic clashing of personalities, there PH would put his disgust for his own parents all on to whom he felt was liable. He claimed he was the one who pushed JG into the door, but JG would be the first one to throw a punch. Their parents would come out of the room still naked, to the scuffle. It would end with the H’s leaving, and within a week of the embarrassing tussle, JG’s father would be arresting PH’s father.

The article will tell the story of the incident that would lead to the fight outside of the school on the afternoon of March 15th, which would have been argued to lead to the death of Stephanie Marsland, an incident that would be better detailed in the official police report, besides the partial redaction. The report is:

Monday, March 25th, 2019

The past week I have had the pleasure of talking to one Mr. Patrick Hawkins and Mr. Justin Goodwin, son of Delt county’s Chief Goodwin. They eagerly shared the details of the events that transpired on Friday, March 15th, evidence securely gathered and awaiting processing. Mr. Goodwin’s testimony is as follows; rap star Gaze the Baptist came out with a new clothing line late the year before, selling out as fast as it had gone up. This clothing line included a $300 pair of jeans that Mr. Goodwin would claim he had been saving up to get and was one of the lucky ones to purchase. That week the package came, and despite Mrs. Goodwin’s protest of letting her son leave the house with those pants on, he would arrive at school in them. He would claim he was aware of Mr. Hawkin’s being a fan of this rapper, and when he showed up in the jeans, Mr. Goodwin is quoted as saying; “I knew I made a mistake, the look Patrick gave me was telling me I would not leave the school without regretting wearing them.”

The pants in question were taken from Mr. Goodwin and put on evidence, but later released back to the boy.

It had been noted that Mr. Hawkin’s favorite form of taking notes was in red pens, not just by Mr. Goodwin, but by other classmates and teachers. Some even were quoted as saying he would use variations of shades, but always red. In their shared 3rd period class, Mr. Goodwin would take his seat right before the late bell and proceed with the class as usual, taking notes and interacting as he would normally. At this moment in his story, he looked out the window for a long time, his face turning a slight red as he thought of his next words. He was called up to the front of the class to give his presentation, one he claimed he had spent weeks preparing, and as he stood the giggling started, and by the time he was in front of the class, everyone was laughing.

“Madison Thorpe even asked me if I needed a tampon, and that’s how the period jokes started.” He would tell us. On the left side, and into the middle of his buttocks, was a red stain. The pants, when presented as evidence, did not show any resemblance to blood stains. The stain had seeped into his pants, through his briefs, and stained his skin. “Even now, what? Two weeks later? I still have a goddamn stain on my ass.” This is where, unprompted, Mr. Goodwin would stand up, and present the stain on his buttocks, mostly faded but a clear pink blob. “It was that goddamn freak, and his goddamn red pens.”

When asked about the ink, Mr. Hawkins smiled but shook his head. “No, I didn’t do it, yes, it was funny, but the asshole deserved it.” When asked how he thought the ink got on his chair, Mr. Hawkins would tell us he was unsure, though he couldn’t have done it even though he knew he had a “reputation of red ink”, how the boy would put it. We questioned whether he perceived the targeting of Mr. Goodwin with red ink as a mere coincidence. “I got to class with two other people, while three others were already seated. I sit nowhere near Justin, if I wanted to do it, the others would have seen me.”

Both admitted to the lunchtime confrontation, where Mr. Goodwin went up to Mr. Hawkins and shoved him to the ground but was pulled away before it could escalate. In the next class, the two shared they were separated, but comments between the two were heard from other classmates. The last class, one shared with Ms. Marsland, ended while one boy was sent to the library and the other to the computer lab after a brawl almost broke out during quiet time.

Classmate, Peter Waller, told the police that it started when Mr. Goodwin went to turn a paper in, he went the long way around the desk to knock into Mr. Hawkins’ arm, prompting Mr. Hawkins to rise and was quoted saying; “Face me like a man.” Three others impeded the two before they were separated.

The real confrontation did not start until after school had gotten out.

[Redacted]

The redaction was blacked out in permanent marker in the unofficial report, but when typed out, a simple redacted was placed, ending the document. The blackout second was just about a page and a half long, but no other reports seem to mention what event took place after the school bell released the school. Edward Hobble, a private investigator, became interested in the case in his time, cooped up in his house during the shutdown. Hobble had grown up in a town near Harpy, and the case was brought to his attention by his son, who was writing his senior thesis on the case. 

At first glance, Hoddle quickly concluded that the details were clear and straightforward. His theory, his son would quote him saying in the 30 page paper on the Marsland, was that she probably had an anxiety attack, the girl had clearly had an issue there and laid down on the ground when she felt dizzy and must have rolled into the puddle. The missing bra didn’t catch his attention, it was the unofficial redaction that did.

“Goodwin’s father was the chief of police, and then more than a page was redacted the second they mentioned the girl’s name. If anyone knows what happened to that girl, it’s either or both boys.”

The only people who were aware of what happened the afternoon of March 15th were Justin Goodwin, Patrick Hawkins, Lincoln Perry, and Nicolas Banter. In none of the interviews of investigations, has it been released whether Lincoln or Nicolas mention that afternoon confrontation, or if that information was told, just once more redacted. The common theory in a true crime Reddit thread, about the Stephanie Marsland case was Chief Goodwin made sure the boys wouldn’t talk. It was not until u/ [deleted] took to the forum.

There is a common theory that Chief Goodwin silenced those involved in the Goodwin v. Hawkins, and while I can confirm that we were told to keep our mouths shut, we never had to sign anything. We were minors, for Christ’s sake, and it’s not because we killed that girl. We left school, the three of us, and Justin was steamed up. He had changed into his gym shorts, and yes, he had this giant ass stain on his ass, I’d be pissed too. It was common knowledge that Patrick frequently used the back way home, which ran behind Yew Dr. There was a stream along the bank that Justin walk to, especially after it rained, but that day he kept making this jerky movement, like he was trying to see up the bank. We heard whistling. That’s the thing about Patrick all these reports failed to mention, this weirdo would whilst, very out of tone, always he would walk by, whistling.

I think Link said something like ‘I think that’s Patrick’ or something, but before he could even finish Justin was charging up the bank, us behind him. Link was the one to want to put a stop to the violence, but even there as Patrick froze as we bobbed up that mound, I think we all had the same idea, we’d scare the freak.

Justin was calling this guy every damn name he could think of, he grabbed him by the jacket and was jerking at him; we joined in, pushing him. I don’t know what the hell the kid had in his backpack, maybe jars of bugs, [A comment that would not be made clear until later, and many who would respond to this post would question this one line in particular] but it was heavy, he kept losing his balance until he finally fell over. Justin grabbed him by his ankles, dragging him towards the bank, telling him he was going to shove his face into the water.

If you want my opinion, that’s the reason that Chief Goodwin went out of his way to keep us quiet, Justin threatening to dunk this kid, and then the girl was found dead less than an hour later that exact way. But Patrick kicked out hard, and Justin lost his grip.

We grabbed Patrick before he could get away and held him for Justin, who looked as if he could murder Patrick. I think we would have let him go from an expression alone, but a voice stopped it.

Stephanie was shy, it’s been told over and over, but honestly, I didn’t think she would have ever said anything there if she didn’t see Lincoln. He liked her a lot, and I think she liked him, they had gone on a few dates, but he said she was too nervous to even kiss him, but he’s a good guy, he probably never pushed it. I didn’t know much more about her, but there she was, her hands on her hips as if she was a goddamn superhero. She told us to let Patrick go, to leave him alone, that three against one was grossly unfair.

Shit, it was the most I had ever heard the girl talk. Link was embarrassed, he let go first and even took a few steps away from the freak. Justin, on the other hand, just looked at her as if she was on the same level as Patrick and told her to eff off. Now, I doubted anyone had ever spoken to Stephanie like that, but it did not phase her. She told him he was being a bully in class, and he was being a bully now.

If I remember correctly, he looked at Lincoln in a way to ask him to calm his girl, but no one said anything back to her. She went up to Patrick, put her hand on his arm, and they left together.

Patrick Hawkins was the last one to be seen with her alive.

Whatever happened to Stephanie Marsland, Patrick is the only person who knows.

At the time of the post, an overwhelming interest in Stephanie Marsland flooded the internet. The subreddit became divided between believers and skeptics, as nobody could confirm the identity of the person speculated to be Nicolas Banter.

According to U/BrutalStar, it was impossible for it to be him, as it was a throwaway account that was created and deleted on the same day. However, it was u/GodsPrankOnAbraham that pointed out that the details in the story seemed to match up well with the reports that would be released later in the week.

It wasn’t until YouTuber Tylor Kamer, who would tell his own story on this post that the truth came to light. In the video, Kramer retold the story of Stephanie Marsland, connecting the dots to this Reddit comment. But was it truly Nicolas Banter who posted the comment?

“Here with me,” Kamer’s voice came over a video of him doing his research. “Is the real-life Nicolas Banter. Hello Nick, thank you for joining me today.”

Transcripts come over the screen. “Hi Tylor, thank you for reaching out.”

“Now, you were there that day, as it has been presented in the evidence.”

“Yes.”

“I know you met with Henry James’s podcast right after the comment had popped up on Reddit, but I read over those transcripts, and it never mentions the comment.”

“I think I did the interview, man, I don’t know, a week, maybe more after the comment on the subreddit, and I doubt Henry knew about it. Maybe a month later, I received an email, and I swore it was going to ask me for another interview just about the comment, but no, it was just telling me he didn’t have enough evidence for a full episode and that he would be put it on his Patron. I shrugged it off, wasn’t too aware how much popularity in the comment had gained.”

“Now, Nick, let me ask the question we all have been wondering since the comment came to light a year ago. Was that you?”

“Yes.” The words come on as music plays, and a voiceover goes more into detail about the comment before returning to the interview, but the unedited interview continues. “I have friends and something of a community that I connect with on Reddit. The whole Stephanie Marsland case was never fully connected to me, and I get where it is now, I realized that from that subreddit alone, but at the time she had shown up and was dead. One of my friends, I only really know him on Discord, Reddit, and Xbox, but he was the one that brought it to my attention. At one point our school photos were posted, and he was like ‘Man, I think this is you, it’s your name, and looks just like you. You never told me you killed a girl.’ At that point, I was just a freshman in college, on my own for the first time, and there was my picture in connection with Stephanie. I just created an account and deleted it, and I get how that would look, but I really didn’t want my account to be covered in Stephanie Marsland post from then on. What I wrote was true, I got a call from Lincoln a few weeks after and he didn’t even need to ask me if I wrote it, he was just like ‘Man hope to Christ Chief Goodwin doesn’t see that.’”

“You said that he never made you sign anything, what did he say to get Lincoln react like that?”

“‘You boys keep your goddamn mouth shut if you don’t want to end up in a juvenile detention center, the girl was basically raped, and drowned, that shit will never scrub off your name.’ But she wasn’t, yeah, the whole bra thing is weird, like she was never touched other than removing the bra? That’s trophy shit you read about in serial killers, but, I don’t know, we were one of the last people to see her alive, so yeah, we stayed quiet.”

“The bra, they found it though.”

“They found a bra, yes, but that was a year later, tucked in a goddamn maple tree.”

The case was never exactly cold, the police department of Harpy would claim they were just waiting through the rest of the evidence, but in the end, everyone knew how it would end. It would be an accidental drowning, all the strangeness surrounding the rest would be explained simply as; she had a panic attack and laid down and rolled, the missing bra might be that she felt constricted and removed it, Patrick and Justin would be cleared, and Stephanie Marsland would be forgotten.

Until the end of March 2020.

Couple Dean Oster and Patty Hearst would walk over their property on the outskirts of Harpy, a 3-archer land that backed into woods, when Patty spotted something sticking out of a tree. She would tell the newspaper that she thought nothing of it at first, bird would bring strange things into those trees, but then as they got closer, she said she cried. “It was a bra strap from the back. Dean saw it and goes ‘what is that?’ but there I was sobbing. It’s not like we didn’t find clothing on our property before, teen would sneak there to have sex, but it wasn’t the fact it was a bra, but it was black with these purple hearts, almost a year to the day they found the little girl dead.”

The evidence description of the bra is as fallows;

Agency: Harpy PD

Case Number: 09-0747

Item Number: 1

Date/Time: 03/10/2020, 1407

Description and/or Location: The bra, in size 36C, is black in color with purple hearts measuring approximately 2/3rds of an inch adorning the straps and cups. The fabric is covered in debris from the maple tree where it was discovered, but is otherwise in a clean condition. It must have been placed there within a day or two since no rainwater had soaked into the padding.

The information was not released to the public immediately. Fiona and Dave Marsland, along with Jacklyn Pappas, were shown it, but none of them could definitively confirm or deny if it belonged to Stephanie. Fiona would tell the police that she didn’t think so, Stephanie was more into solid colors, while Jacklyn would say maybe because she could remember purple, but both agreed on one thing. While the cup size was correct, the strap size was not. Fiona had brought samples of her bras, all reading 34C.

One size off. When asked if she would buy the bra because she liked it, but could not find her size, so she bought the size up? Fiona would firmly say no, and when prompted on why, because she only liked solid colors.

It was true, in photos presented, or videos, or any sort of media that would show Stephanie, she was always in a solid color shirt. From the age she would have dressed herself, a photo album marked Stephanie through the years, one could guess around seven, she would be in a solid color shirt, and jeans, or solid color leggings. Even her jackets and sweaters were all solid colors. Not even a brand, just one color.

In the photos that would be posted to her timeline, or she would be tagged in following her death would show her smiling with others, or doing her volunteer work, or playing the piano, all in solid colors, all but one photo.

It went unnoticed, until one Tumblr thread uncovered one photo that, until then, had gone unnoticed. The post emerged almost two years after the death.

anyone else notice that they keep talking about stephanie only wore solid colors but what about this photo?

The photo in question had three faces blurred as two of the people sat on steps outside of what looked to be a school, the other, alongside Stephanie, stood almost out of frame, but smiling at who took the photo, her shirt one of pink with flowers, a heart blooming out of the bundle. An altered picture emerged those who sat on the steps were Jacklyn Pappas, a guy she had seen and the original poster of the photo, Dale Hoffman, Stephanie, and next to her, almost completely cut off, but still obviously looking at her, was Justin Goodwin.

Justin Goodwin would be found converted to Catholicism right out of school, and in college majoring in philosophy, preparing himself to someday gain priesthood out in Rhode Island.

“Stephanie Marshland?” He had been shocked by the name as he agreed to sit down with amateur documentarian Rodger Dwyer. “That happened, my, what four years ago at this point? The case has been closed.”

“You are not aware of the popularity the story had gained on the internet over the last few years?”

“No, my online presence was never consistent in high school, and since I graduated, I have been completely off.” He would take this moment to look down at his hands, folded in front of him, before picking up his head to look just off camera where Rodger would be sitting. “I’m glad that Stephanie’s story is being told, I have prayed for her since her death, I pray for her safety as she ascended to God’s embrace.”

“Since the closure of her case, there has a few things that have been brought up in connection with her. Of course, you were a junior when the missing article of clothing was found, but are you aware of the controversy behind it?”

He would delicately shake his head. “Yes, I remember a bra was found, but I do also recall it was not hers.”

“There was not enough evidence to conclude if it was hers or not, but that’s not it. It had hearts on it. Everyone, including her mother, said she would wear soiled colors.”

“I know nothing about that.”

“But when posting photos for her birthday, someone posted this one.” Rodger would hold out a photo to Justin, whose eyebrows would come together, then relax.

“They think there was a relationship between Stephanie and I.” How he said it was not a question. “I hate to disappoint, but there was nothing between me and the girl. This photo was taken during a class project. If I remember correctly, we were heading to my house to work on it, and I was unaware I was being photographed.”

“But do you see how it implicates you? You are looking right at her.”

“I was not, I can see how you would think that, but I was looking at who was just off camera, the real person I was in a relationship with. I believe I have an uncropped version of this, or at least one taken concurrently.”

Rodger allowed Justin to leave, and within 20 minutes, he returned, this time carrying a photo album. As expected, another photo in it appeared nearly identical to the one posted, but with noticeable differences. Stephine stood a few steps above, a shy smile on her lips as she gazed at the photo taker. Dale affectionately kissed Jacklyn’s cheek, while Justin grinned as if he were laughing. However, the photo posted only displayed Nicolas Banter, as it had been cut off.

“After Stephanie left with Patrick that day, Nick and I went back to his place, his ring camera caught us 15 minutes before she would be found dead, and his mother was with us until I left an hour after.”

“What happened between you and Nick?”

“The same reason I left Mormonism, why I left Colorado. There was a force greater than me, greater than my relationship, greater than the world I had known and loved. If it weren’t for Patrick, I think that force would have consumed me, but after an exposure to my relationship with Nick, the novelty wore off for him, and the year we had spent together meant nothing. God came to me one night in a dream, and I saw the light there, I saw my path, it led me here. I wish it was different that day, if Patrick had exposed us sooner, maybe, maybe I wouldn’t hold the vengeful hate my father distilled in me, and I would have forgiven. Stephine may have lived.”

“What happened to Patrick?”

Patrick Hawkins. Grew up in Utah, until his father gained a promotion, moving his family to Colorado. He was the only child of the couple, but the youngest of his father who had been married once before, two children from that relationship, the younger of the two being over 10 years older than Patrick.

By the time he was about to finish his junior year of high school, concerning online comments surfaced about how he ‘wished I could take a semi-automatic to those fuckers’ getting him expelled. Little is known about what exactly happened to Patrick, questioning from the police made its rounds, but even those investigating could not find much after he left Harpy High.

At the time of Stephanie’s death, a video from in the interrogation room surfaced, Patrick sitting there with his father as the cops talked to the boy. “Patrick, you were the last one to see her alive, you left with her, no one else can tell where you were from the time she died to the time that you arrived home two hours after she had died.”

Patrick, who had his hood up, did not move. If he speaks, no mic can pick him up.

This guy did it, open and shut, why are we even fighting it? The comment with the most likes on the video would read.

Then, a little over a year later, Patrick once more sat in the same room, same cop, but this time with his mother, who would be recorded saying; “He’s a 17-year-old boy, he made a comment, he doesn’t even own a gun. Why are we here? Those kids pick on him, those kids hurt him, kick him, they put bugs in his lunch!”

“Ma’am.”

“No, do not ma’am me!”

“Mom.” Patrick would be heard saying. “I made a mistake, I’m aware of that. I had a bad day, and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You’re online, how did you have a bad day?”

“There’s there snapchat group chat that leaked, some people who hate me are in it. They said… they said I take it in the ass. I was defending myself, I posted publicly that it’s Justin Goodwin that takes it up the ass by Nick Banter, and it got back to Goodwin. I walk to through the graveyard when I feel too cooped up, and two days ago I was jumped by Justin. He kicked the shit out of me. I got home, and I felt so shitty, I lost it.”

From the two tapes, something became clear to Penny Upton, a popular true crime blogger, dove deeper into the connection between Patrick Hawkins and Stephanie Marsland.

The Surreal Case of Stephanie Marsland

‘Part 13

As those who have been meticulously following my investigation into the case of Stephanie Marsland may know from part 1, I had said Patrick was the one who did it, and though through the last four posts has been Patrick focused, I can say for sure today I have evidence to prove myself wrong. Patrick was the last one to see her alive, that we are aware of, yes, and where Patrick ended up going to jail for an unrelated incident, he did not kill Stephanie. Last week, I carefully reviewed two interrogation tapes numerous times as I prepared to write this post, yet something felt amiss. Why did he not get arrested the first time? The time he refused to answer?

The digging process was proving to be extremely difficult, but thanks to my favorite sleuth, NotAnotherCrimePost, she had provided me with an actual alibi for Patrick, one that I revisited the second video to realize he did not do it.

A house next to the graveyard has a nest camera pointed right at the entrance, that day, Patrick walked through the gate in the last 10 minutes of Stephanie’s life and did not leave until over and hour later. Stephanie herself stepping into view, alive and well, before stepping out as soon as Patrick was out of sight.

The fence around the graveyard is 10 feet high, with no other way in or out. The alibi was airtight. Patrick Hawkins did not kill Stephanie, and with no other evidence, I would have to definitively close this case in the manner that all of you know I hate the most, but I am firmly labeling it a freak accident.’

A freak accident. Stephanie Marsland died by accident, every story would report so, the Harpy PD would close the case as accidental. With the popularity the case would gain over the course of two years, it would never come close to the truth, either coming to the same conclusion, or burning out, or simply losing interest.

The closest to the truth that ever came to light, was one comment on a post that would get three likes, but never picked up by any of the investigators, a comment that one person would write, would post, and would forget about, never perusing how close they would be to asking the first right question to this case.

Who took the photo?

Back in the two photos, where Stephanie would intentionally dress in an unusual manner for herself, clearly smiling at the person who took the photo.

Each one would say it, each interview would give off the answer, but the questions were not being asked, and by the end of 2023, the case of Stephanie Marsland was officially no longer discussed, and the public would move on to newer cases, more interesting ones, ones that they would know the questions for. As for Stephanie, she was still dead, she still would be dead, and the truth would decay away with her.

The truth would be in a notebook, one that the only person who knew what happened that day would write in but would burn simultaneously before the bra would be discovered. A notebook that would be a confession that would disappear before a single person could read it.

The passage wrote out longhand, in a red pen, read as follows; She was beautiful, young, pure. She came to me one night needing help, and I wanted to help. I thought telling her she was beautiful would have her turn away from me, but she didn’t. The more often we spent together, the more she bloomed, her personality showed through her clothing, and the way she would smile more freely, especially for me. I knew of her shyness, but my god, if you could see how composed she was in private, you’d understand why I loved her.

I could not understand why she defended Patrick, why she went against Justin, but it irritated me. She looked at me; she knew I was there, and still walked away with him. Yes, I would be the first to admit I was jealous, she would leave with him, but no, she walked him to the graveyard; I doubted they spoke as they walked there. I stayed back, watching, making sure that freak did nothing to her, but before he went in he thanked her, that was it, then she started away when she spotted me.

The argument started, and I didn’t mean to get so angry at her, but I could not understand why she would defy me like that. She tried so damn hard to tell me I had nothing to envy, but the hell, I did. My anger, it gave her that panic attack, and she was breathing so hard that, I don’t know; she passed out. I held on to her, holding her up, unsure what to do. I loved her, but she made her choice to go with Patrick, and I would not let Justin get humiliated by him. She wasn’t supposed to die; I brought her over to Silly Billy in thoughts that she would wake up as soon as her face hit the water. Laying her down on her side, I removed the bra, and rolled her until she was face down into the water. The plan was to plant the bra on Patrick, so I went back towards the graveyard to wait for him. She wouldn’t name me, she was smarter than that to do it, she would just say she didn’t know or remember, but as I waited, that kid began to scream, and when I got back to where I had left her, she was dead.

The rest would be written on another date in a blue pen.

I knew I should have come forward sooner, but shit, this is murder. I still have the damn bra, but I think Justin suspects me, my plan was to turn myself in, but tonight I think I will have myself a fire.

The composer reread over his confession before tossing it into the fire in front of him, watching the pages get eaten away by the flames. Then, from his pocket, he pulled out her bra, his finger stroking over the fabric, more hesitant to throw it in.

“Dad?” Justin’s voice caused the composer to jump before looking back at his son, the bra shoved back into his pocket. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yeah, I think, I think I’m going to go for a walk.” Chief Goodwin walked towards the front door.

“It’s nearly midnight.”

“Put the fire out before you go to bed.” He refused to look back at his son, already suspecting his sexual orientation, already the greater force that would drive Justin away.

“Dad? What’s going on?”

“One day, you’ll understand. Goodnight, son.” He stepped out of the house, setting his course into those woods. 

[samaraj]

Title - His last wish

Pairing - Sy x reader

Warnings - Angst, smut, stillborn

Note - This one’s long and holds an element of things that I’d say are personal to me. It was therapeutic to write but a bit deep so consider that a warning. Also had it sitting in drafts for ages so not the best with proofreading!

Summary - Reader returns home after ten years still holding onto a deep burden. She’s home to see her dying grandfather but is worried about crossing paths with the one who broke her heart.

It had been ten years since you’d returned home. Ten years since you left to chase your dream of becoming a doctor. And ten years since your heart was crushed into a million pieces when your first love told you “We’re going in different directions”. You’d managed to stay away this long - your family understanding your turmoil and agreeing to visit you in the city instead. But now here you were standing on your parents doorstep after they called and begged you to come. Your beloved grandfather was dying and had asked to see you.

“Honey! Oh honey!” Your mother opened the door and pulled you into her arms. “What on earth? You said your plane was arriving at midday! We were coming to pick you up from the airport!”

“I took an earlier flight Mum. I didn’t want you driving”. You smiled as your mother kissed you on the forehead. Truth being, you did it on purpose. Wanting to avoid the airport greetings knowing that you could very well bump into Sy since the military base was close by and he had a habit of visiting the airport’s cafe.

“Your Dad will be cross”. Your mother smoothed down her apron and as you breathed in the scent of fresh apple pie.

“No he won’t”. You pulled your suitcase inside. “When has he ever been mad at me?”

“Honey …” Your mother held you at arms length as she smoothed down your hair like she did when you were a child. “Thank you for being here. It will make him happy .. I know it’s hard for you”.

“Mum ..” You swallowed and recited your well rehearsed speech. “I was nineteen years old. Young and stupid .. don’t worry I’m passed it”.

“I’m your mother, I know you love. I know what you went through”.

“It’s the past Mum. I’m here for granddad and for all of you”.

Your mother studied your face before she sighed. She rubbed your shoulder and gestured towards the upstairs guest room.

“I won’t .. shock him will I?”

“No but your father is in with him”. Your mother smiled. “You’ll shock him no doubt”.

Your eyes flickered to the locket your mother was wearing, the one that matched your own around your neck. Your heart clenched knowing that the same photo was inside and for a moment you wondered if you’d made the right choice in coming home.

Your mother looked down at the locket and then back at you. She smiled softly.

“I’ve never taken it off”.

“Neither have I”. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I just .. I wonder a lot .. and I just think .. did I do something? Was I to blame? I know that’s stupid .. but I still think like that”.

“Honey .. never ever .. just ..” Your mother grabbed your face as her eyes filled with tears. “You did nothing wrong. I was there .. I know”.

“Oh Mum”. You hugged your mother as you cried softly. Her hands rubbed your back while she hummed softly in your ear in a bid to comfort your broken heart.

“Take your time love. Just breathe ok? Everything’s alright. You’re the strongest person I know darling. Such a brave nineteen year old and now look at you. Twenty nine and a doctor. Honey I’m so very proud of you”.

“Thank you Mum”. You wiped at your face. “Sorry for being so emotional. It’s just .. being back here. Knowing Sy’s here. It’s brought up so many deep feelings and memories”.

“I know love. We appreciate you being here and I promise you that we will look after you ok?”

“Thanks mum”. You glanced at the stairs. “I’m going to go see him now ok?”

“Alright love. I’ll finish fixing your room”.

You paused at the bottom of the stairs before walking up slowly. You stared at the timber door to your left and your hand traced over the handle before knocking twice then opening it slowly. You smiled at the look of surprise on your fathers face. He was sitting in a chair next to your grandfathers bed. He jumped up quickly, causing your grandfather to open his eyes.

“What are you doing here! Did I miss your flight? I didn’t doze off?”

“No Dad! I got in earlier”. You laughed quietly as your father hugged you before kissing your cheeks. You waved at your grandfather who was blowing you a kiss. “Hi Grandpa. I came to see you”.

“Look at you”. Your grandfather beckoned you over and you rushed to the side of the bed to grab his hands. “There’s my girl”.

“I missed you Grandpa. Im going to be here for a few weeks ok? So don’t you worry about anything”.

“Im glad sweetheart. These doctors tell me I’ve only got a few weeks but what do they know?” Your grandfather smiled. “You’re the only doctor I trust”.

“And im here to look after you”.

Your grandfather nodded as he lay his head back against the pillows. His fingers touched the locket around your neck.

“Im going to see him soon sweetheart”.

Your heart ached and you nodded. You saw your father wipe his face.

“I know”.

“Im going to look after him for you”.

“I know grandpa”. Your lip trembled. “Thank you”.

“Wyatt”. Your grandfather whispered.

“Wyatt”. You whispered as your grandfather closed his eyes, sleeping in soft breaths. You saw your father quietly leave the room, giving you time alone. When the door closed you lay your head on the bed next to your grandfathers arm.

Wyatt .. you repeated over and over. Your baby boy born at only 26 weeks that took one breath. He had been your savior throughout your heartbreak over losing Sy. When you found out you were pregnant Sy had already been deployed. You found out he wouldn’t be home for 12 months and was in a restricted area so you had no way of contacting him. You planned on telling him .. bringing Wyatt to him. You just had no way of knowing that you would lose him. And then you found out that Sy had a new girlfriend … actually many new girls. So you decided not to burden him with the memory of a son that he never got to meet. Was it wrong? Maybe. But you were young and broken.

The days that followed you spent looking after your grandfather. You were glad you came because the time you spent with him were therapeutic. You went through old family movies and photo albums .. his health was deteriorating rapidly but he was also smiling.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yes Grandpa?” You paused as you were reading him a passage of a book.

“Go see that boy of yours”.

“Sy? He’s not my boy Grandpa. It’s best kept in the past”.

“For me? I just want you to have peace”.

“I have peace Grandpa”. You paused. “There’s no use in bringing up all that hurt. He’s moved on, I’ve moved on”.

“What about Wyatt?”

“What good would that do now Grandpa? I tried to tell him but he was gone you know that. Then it ., happened and .. it was too late”.

“It’s never too late sweetheart”. Your grandpa patted your knee. “You are still hurting”.

“So why hurt him? After ten years?”

“You know why .. the same reason you tried to tell him in the beginning”. Your grandfather paused. “Because he has a right to know”.

“What right Grandpa?” Tears stung your eyes. “He left me. I was nineteen and in love with him! Then I came back after losing Wyatt and he was with every girl he could find! Like I was nothing!”

“Love .. you’re still hurt. Can’t you see that?” Your grandfather stared at you. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to him if your paths cross. You don’t have to search him out .. if fate has it then that’s another story”.

You chewed on your bottom lip as you looked at your grandfather. You couldn’t say no so you nodded.

“If our paths cross ..”

Your grandfather smiled and motioned for you to continue reading. You sighed and settled back into the armchair as you tried to forget about Sy.

3 weeks later your Grandfather passed away peacefully. You felt heartbroken yet content that you had such cherished time with him. The funeral was held a week later and he was laid to rest. You spent that afternoon helping your mother serve afternoon tea to the people that were at the service. Extended family and friends that came to pay their respects.

“Honey can you please put on another pot of coffee?” Your mother asked you. You nodded and headed into the kitchen. As you waited for the coffee to brew you felt a presence behind you. Your hands griped the counter as you breathed in the scent of spice that you knew so well. Your knees almost buckled but you willed yourself not to turn around. Not now, today of all days.

“Been awhile”.

There was no mistaking that Texas accent. You breathed in deeply and tucked some of your brown hair behind your ear. Instinctively your hand moved to your locket. You could do this .. surely you could do this. You breathed in deeply and slowly turned around.

“Hello Sy”.

“Hello Sugar”. His eyes stared at you intensely. “Been ten years hasn’t it?”

“Yes”.

“You look different .. still pretty as hell but real different”.

“I’m not a teenager anymore”. You swallowed as you took in his muscular physique. “Neither are you”.

“Turned 30 last month, can you believe it?” Sy scratched at his beard, something that was new to you.

“20th of July”.

“You remember?”

“Course”.

“Well I remember yours too .. hard to forget”.

Your face flushed remembering how you lost your virginity to him when you were 16 on your birthday.

“Yeah ..”

“I’m sorry about your Pa”. Sy breathed in deeply. “He was a good man”.

“Thank you. Yes he was”.

“He was .. hoping you’d spend some time here. I bet he was happy to see you”.

“You spoke to him?” You studied Sy’s face.

“Well I …” Sy paused.

“When?”

Just turn as your mother came in. She stoped dead in her tracks when she saw you standing with Sy. She smiled and pointed to the pot of coffee which you passed to her.

“Hello Sy. Thank you for coming”. Your mother glanced between the two of you.

“I’m sorry for your loss Mam”. Sy stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you dear. I’ll uh .. leave you to it”.

Your mother left and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. You looked at Sy but he looked as unsure as you felt. You cleared you throat and wondered what to say but just as you opened your mouth Sy spoke.

“I should go. Just came to pay my respects”.

“Oh ok”.

“It was real nice seeing you”.

Before you could react he walked out. For a moment you stood still, digesting what had just happened. Then you heart started pounding and before you could think you charged out of the kitchen and followed Sy out of the house. How dare he just show up like that. How dare he act like nothing had happened between you both?

“Wait!” You saw him turn around in surprise. You knew this was wrong. You were too emotional and part of you knew you should just go back in the house but you couldn’t help yourself. You matched right up to Sy and pushed at his chest with both your hands as hard as you could. “Why the hell are you here? Why? Today of all days!”.

“I told you I came to pay my respects!” Sy grabbed hold of your wrists as you pounded at his chest. “Just calm down”.

“I’m not going to calm down!”.

“Just listen to me!”

“No! You fucking left me!” You screamed. “You left me and never looked back! You chose the army over me and never even cared to see how I was!”

“I did what was best for you!”

“Best for me?” You laughed through your tears. “You were what was best for me you idiot”.

“You’re a doctor! That’s what you wanted and I was holding you back”. Sy let go of your wrists slowly.

“Right! You knew what was best. You just wanted to be a bachelor huh? I was holding you back”.

“Thats not true”.

“Fucked half of the town haven’t you?”

“Now you listen ..” Sy raised his voice.

“I tried .. I tried to reach you”. You sobbed causing Sy’s eyes to widen I shock. “Came back after and you were too busy playing the field ..”

“I was in Afghanistan for a year”. Sy’s voice softened. “You tried to reach me?”

“I tried .. I couldn’t ..” Your hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. “I tried ..” You gasped for air.

“You needed me?”

“I .. needed you”. You could barely make out his face through your tears. His hands gripped your shoulders. “I didn’t know what to do .. I was nineteen Sy. I was so scared ..”

“What are you trying to tell me? Whatever it is .. tell me”.

“I didn’t know what to do Sy”. You were choking out your words between sobs. “I didn’t know what to do”.

“Tell me ..”

“I found out .. I was pregnant”. You gripped his shirt so hard that your knuckles turned white. “I was having your baby”.

“What? You ..” Sy’s eyes searched yours. “You were .. pregnant?”

“Yes”.

“I’m .. I’m a father?”

“I was nineteen. I needed you”. You struggled to speak. “He .. he …”

“A boy?”

“Wyatt .. I lost him. I lost him Sy”. You felt his body go rigid for a moment. He was wiping your face, trying desperately to understand you.

“Lost him?”

“I .. he came early”. You felt his hands cup your face. “Twenty six weeks .. I had him but he didn’t make it”.

Sy pulled you against his chest. It started to rain but neither of you moved. The water soaked through your clothing but you were transfixed .. sobbing against Sy’s chest. Your heart ached the same way it did when Wyatt laid on your chest and took his only breath. Your heart ached when your mother held you and told you he had gone. It all came back just like it was happening all over again.

“I’m sorry”. Sy whispered against your wet hair. “I’m so sorry Sugar”.

“So am I”.

He held you against his chest as your vision blurred. You were vaguely aware of his arms holding you up and then everything went black. You thought you could hear your mothers screams, but maybe it was your imagination?

You woke up in your bed. The first thing you thought was that you must have dreamed everything. But then you noticed your wet black dress in the clothes hamper and then Sy sitting on a chair in your room. He had dry clothes on and they looked like your fathers.

“Sy?”

“Yeah I’m here”. Sy looked up from his hands. “I’ll go get your Ma …”

“It’s ok .. just wait”. You glanced under the covers and saw that you were wearing sweatpants and a t shirt.

“Your Ma changed you .. you fainted outside”.

“Oh .. I’m sorry”.

“Don’t be”. Sy looked at you and you could see the sadness in his eyes. “You’ve had a hard day”.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you .. I shouldn’t have come after you like that”. You swallowed. “I shouldn’t have told you like that”.

“Doesn’t matter now”. Sy smiled softly. “You’ve been through a lot .. I’d take your anger a thousand times over if it would make you feel better”.

“Just seeing you again .. “

“Forget it now. I’m just .. glad I know”. Sy stared at the ground. “Can I ask you some things? If you’re up to talking that is?”

“Ok”.

“You wanted to tell me that you were having my baby?”

The way he said “my baby” tugged at your heart. You nodded.

“Came back home and went to the base. They told me you were deployed for a year”.

“What were you thinking then?”

“I was going to have the baby then when you came back .. tell you. I was going to see if you wanted us”.

“Wanted you both? You thought I wouldn’t?” Sy looked at you as his voice broke. “That I’d turn you away?”

“I wasn’t sure how you felt about me .. but I knew you would want to know Wyatt”.

“Jesus”. Sy rubbed his face. “You don’t have a clue how much I loved you do you? I pushed you to take that scholarship because you were smart and you deserved more that this town could offer. I wanted that for you because I loved you”. Sy paused. “I would have taken you back in a heartbeat though .. I mean that .. killed me to let you go”.

Silence filled the room. You watched as Sy’s chest rose and fell.

“Oh”.

“Tell me .. about him if you can”. Sy glanced at you. “Can you?”

“What do you want to know Sy?”

“He was .. born in a hospital?”

“Yes. I went into labor early but at the time I didn’t think so .. thought it was a false alarm”. You swallowed. “My Mum was with me. One minute everything’s ok then they were telling me that he was in distress and I had to push”.

“You would have been so scared”.

“I was .. I wanted to keep him inside of me for longer. I knew he was coming too early”. You felt your hands shake. “He was .. so perfect but so tiny Sy. He just .. wasn’t strong enough and he ..”

“It’s ok”. Sy looked at you sadly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that .. I wish I had of been there”.

“He looked like you Sy”. You reached for a tissue on the nightstand. “So much”. You reached behind your neck to unclasp your locket. You handed it to Sy. “There’s a photo of him in there. It’s only small but it’s my favourite”.

You watched as Sy opened your locket. He stared at the photo inside for what seemed like eternity. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and he repeated this a few times.

“So small ..” He spoke the words to himself out loud. “I can’t believe that .. we made him. He’s just .. perfect”.

“I know”.

“Did you .. think after .. to tell me?”

“I came back a few months after because I heard you were home. I had every intention .. i went for a walk with my dad along the beach and I saw you ..” You chewed on your bottom lip as you fidgeted with the blanket. “You were with a girl .. actually you were with all your army friends .. playing volleyball but you were kissing a girl”.

“Oh”. Sy’s cheeks reddened at the memory. “I uh .. started seeing her for a bit. Didn’t last long”.

“Yeah so well I … didn’t want to ruin your life. Made sense at the time to me. I was young and thought why tell you? Wyatt was gone and you looked happy”.

“Sugar ..” Sy swallowed. “I wasn’t happy .. I was just trying to move on”.

“I saw you kissing her Sy .. you were different with me. You were all over her”. You sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You were young too .. probably just enjoying not being tied down”.

“It wasn’t like that at all”.

“Like I said .. we were both young. Too young”. You saw Sy open his mouth then close it. There seemed nothing much more to say. The past was the past and neither of you could change anything.

“Was he .. was he ..” Sy stammered but somehow you knew what he was trying to say.

“He’s buried here … not far from where my Grandfather is”. You paused as your eyes flickered to Sy’s. “Do you want to go with me?”

“Yes .. yes I do”. Sy breathed out deeply. “And if .. if you have more photos?”

“My mum has an album that I made her. I’ll get it for you”. You watched as Sy nodded. Your heart felt constricted seeing how much pain he was in. Yet at the same time the weight in your shoulders was lifting. You closed your eyes for a moment thinking of Wyatt .. with great love came great pain.

The next few weeks were a blur. You spent countless days with Sy at Wyatt’s grave just talking. Which was nice because you also visited your grandfather and grandma too. But in the past seeing Wyatt’s tombstone was such a painful experience, but now with Sy it felt different. He sat next to you cross legged on the grass listening to every single detail about Wyatt’s existence. You told him everything from the beginning - how you found out, your morning sickness, your cravings for nachos and roast pumpkin. He listened .. almost intrigued as you opened your heart to him. After awhile it wasn’t just Wyatt that you talked about .. he told you about his deployments and all the terrors that came with his job. He told you about his parents divorce and also about his relationships since you.

“I’ve had a date here and there but nobody ..” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I was too busy getting into med school I guess?”

“No wealthy doctor tried to steal your heart?” Sy smiled.

“No”.

“Just for the record .. all those years ago .. the one you saw me with on the beach”. Sy paused. “She was someone I guess I tried to use to get over you. Now saying that out loud makes me feel really bad .. but I just needed to tell ya ok?”

“Sy .. it was so long ago”.

“I know .. but since we’re being honest”.

“I appreciate that”. You smiled softly. “My teenage self wanted to kick your ass though”.

“Don’t know what I would have done if I had of seen you that day ..”

“Guess we’ll ever know”. You played with a blade of grass as the sun started to set. “We should head back?”

“Do you wanna go some place first?”

You looked at Sy .. he suddenly didn’t seem like he was a 30 year old grown man. He reminded you of the Sy you once knew. Your Sy. He seemed apprehensive and a bit unsure of himself.

“Ok”. You let him help you to your feet and followed him to your truck.

Sy took you to a place you’d missed. A hill with a city view. The same place he’d kissed you for the first time. You felt your face flush at the memory and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Your heart hammered against your chest and then you had to quickly turn turn your head before the emotion on your face showed.

“The sunset is nice here” Sy said as you tried to keep your breathing even.

“Come here often?” You turned to him and smiled.

“Only with you”. Sy stared at you. “And it’s been a few years”.

“I remember ..”

“You were sixteen”. Sy paused. “I was so fucking nervous ..”

“You were?”

“Course I was .. I knew it was going to be your first kiss. I wanted it to be special”.

“Sy ..” Your voice caught in your throat. “You shouldn’t have worried because everything with you was special”.

Sy stared at the beautiful sunset while you looked at his side profile. He was so different from the boy you once knew. He was a man .. a muscular man with a beard who was sure of himself in so many ways. But he was still Sy.

Slowly you reached for his hand and covered it with yours.

“We were just two kids Sy”.

“We were”.

“So much time has passed”.

“It has”. Sy turned to look at you. “But I’ll always love you. I’ll never love anyone but you”.

“Sy ..” You sucked in a breath.

“I wish things were different. I’d fucking do anything to re write the past. You have to believe me”. Sy turned his head and you knew him well enough to know that he was trying to hide his tears.

“Look at me Sy”. You watched as you saw his eyes filled with tears. Your hand reached to his cheek. “Oh Sy I’ve never loved anyone but you. And I’m so glad .. so very glad that it was you that was Wyatt’s daddy”. Your eyes filled with tears as you felt the wetness of Sy’s tears on your hand.

“I’m sorry”. He whispered. “I’m sorry that you lost your baby .. our baby”.

“I’m sorry too”.

He moved towards you and you waited. His eyes looked exactly how you remembered them, except his hands were different. Bigger, stronger .. they cupped your face as you inched closer.

“Stop me. Tell me you don’t want me .. tell me that you don’t have any feelings for me”. Sy’s lips were on your forehead, his breath hot against your skin. “Tell me now Sugar and I’ll drive you home”.

“I can’t Sy .. I can’t tell you that .. because it would be untrue”. Ten years of heartache and you were now at this point.

You heard him suck in a breath then his strong hands moved your neck up until you are looking at him. Your hands gripped the front of his t shirt and you willed yourself to stop shaking.

“I missed you”. Sy whispered just before his lips found yours. It wasn’t like the first time at all. His lips moved with purpose. His hands were now at the back of your neck, caught in your hair as his mouth opened and his tongue sought yours. This was a different Sy. He was older, experienced and wiser. You gasped into his mouth as his once tentative tongue was anything but. His hand moved to the small of you back, pulling you closer in the confined space of his truck.

“Sy .. I ..” You moaned as you broke apart for sure. “I missed you too”.

You missed ten years. You missed everything about him. You were scared but at ease too .. you wanted him to repair your fragile broken heart.

“Sy take me back to your place”.

Suddenly he was pulling back and looking into your eyes.

“I don’t need anything more. I just .. kissing you ..”

“I do .. I need you Sy”. Your lips trembled. “Please just .. don’t leave me this time”.

Your heart beat in anticipation as Sy stared into your eyes for what seemed like eternity. He slowly nodded before leaning over you to pull at your seat belt and buckle you in. As he moved back across you his breath passed your ear and you knew that he was just as needy as you were.

The drive back to Sy’s apartment was silent. His hand rested on your knee as you watched the city lights pass you by. Without thinking you fidgeted with the locket around your neck, immediately thinking of your son. But for some reason, this time you didn’t feel the usual ache in your heart. You felt at ease.

Soo you were inside his apartment. Sy was watching as you walked around his living room glancing at photographs and the medals/trophies he had on display. You felt nervous. Not that you didn’t want to be there with him, but because you didn’t know how to initiate things.

“Sugar?” Sy smiled softly at you when you turned around. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’m just nervous. I don’t know how to .. do this”.

“This?” Sy smirked. “We don’t have to do anything”.

“I want to .. I just .. It’s been a long time Sy. I just need ..” You stammered. “I need you to take the lead”.

“I didn’t want to assume anything .. that’s not what this is for me”.

“I feel the same”. You watched as he walked over to you. Suddenly his hands gripped your hips, pulling you flush against his hard body.

“I’m happy to take the lead Sugar”. Sy’s voice was slightly rough, sending an ache between your thighs.

“Then take me”.

Sy suddenly lifted you up and your legs wrapped around his waist. He carried you to his room, kicking the door shut with his foot. His eyes were transfixed to yours and you could feel his heart beating quickly against your own.

He placed you on his bed gently and stood Infront of you. He pulled his t shirt off in one motion and you felt your mouth drop open at the sight of him. Ten years ago he was lean yet now .. he was a fit man with a large muscular frame and chest hair. He smirked before removing his jeans and before you could react he took his boxers off too. You gasped and flushed when you saw the sight of his rock hard erection standing firm against his stomach. He seemed huge compared to how you remembered him.

“Your turn”. Sy’s hands grabbed at the fabric of your skirt and soon it was on the floor. You hastily tossed your t shirt over your head followed by your white lace bra. You watched as Sy took in your naked form before his eyes settled on your white lace panties. “You’re fucking perfect Sugar”.

“I’m not”. You whispered as he moved over your body, keeping his weight on his forearms as he kissed you. “I’ve changed”.

“You’re beautiful .. you’re not a girl anymore love. You’re a woman and you’re perfect”.

“I have ..” You stammered. “Stretch marks .. from the pregnancy”.

“Where?”

You face flushed but you pointed to your lower stomach where the small white lines existed. You gasped when Sy moved lower and his lips kissed every one of them.

“You’re beautiful and these … are a reminder of him. I wouldn’t change them for anything”. Sy whispered against your skin.

“Sy …” your eyes filled with tears as he continued to cherish you. After a few minutes he slipped your underwear off and settled between your legs. He smiled at you reassuringly before gently opening your thighs.

“Let me love you”. Sy kissed your inner thighs causing you to tremble. “Relax Sugar”.

You sunk back against his pillows as you remembered how you both had to learn how to please each other. You smiled at how inexperienced Sy was back then and how he’d constantly ask you if he was making you feel good with each swipe of his tongue. But now … this was a different Sy as he held you thighs open with both hands. His tongue sucked on your clit, and he didn’t ask you a single thing before he pushed a finger inside you.

“Oh Sy .. oh”. You were shocked at how good he made you feel. He clearly knew what he was doing as he alternated between sucking, licking and pumping not one but two fingers inside you.

“You gonna cum for me Sugar?”

You face burned. This wasn’t the boy you knew. Sy had never communicated much during your intimate moments, yet this Sy was very vocal.

“Sy”.

One of his hands held your lower stomach to stop you from moving while his mouth sucked on your clit. Suddenly his fingers curled inside you and you arched your back. You felt heat pool in your stomach and you swore that you saw stars as you called out his name over and over again.

When you came to a moment later, Sy was still between your legs. He was looking up at you but his fingers were still moving inside you, riding out every last bit of pleasure. You watched as he looked between your legs and you fought the urge to close them.

“Don’t ..” Sy stared at you. His eyes were dark and he licked his lips before looking between your legs again. “Wanna see you Sugar. I’ve … Jesus I’ve fantasized about this for years”.

“Sy ..” Your face was heated as your eyes fell to his other hand which was fisting his cock as he touched you. “Sy .. oh god Sy .. feels so good”.

“I could cum just like this. Just watching me touch your pussy”.

“Sy!” You gasped. He had never talked dirty to you before.

“Don’t deny you like it .. I felt you clench on my fingers love”. Sy smirked.

“Can I touch you?” You whispered. Sy nodded before withdrawing his fingers. He held your gaze as he put his fingers in his mouth.

“You taste so good”.

“Lie down”. You smiled and shook your head as you changed positions. You leaned over him and kissed his lips softly. “Where’s my shy inexperienced Sy?”

“Long gone baby”. Sy smiled.

You laughed as you reached for his cock. He groaned as you moved your hand up and down his shaft like you used to do. You explored him slowly before watching as Sy spat on his hand and rubbed himself before replacing your hand with his. You were shocked but his reaction at the feel of your hand with the lubrication made you ache between you legs.

“That’s it love .. oh god yeah just like that”. Sy moaned. He had his eyes closed, head thrown back. Hesitantly you moved your hand to his base before lowering your mouth on him. You struggled with oral and you felt embarrassed to tell Sy that he was the last person you were with. You had no clue if you could make him feel good. Your doubts were gone the second you heard him gasp.

“Jesus! Oh god baby ..” Sy glanced down at you in shock. “You don’t have to .. oh fuck”.

You started to bob your head while your hand worked on him. Your clit throbbed at the sounds he made and the profanities thar left his mouth.

“Fuck baby ..” His hand moved to your head and gently applied pressure. You quickly looked at him and released him with a pop.

“Sy I haven’t been with anyone since you .. I’m not sure ..I just wanted you to know”. You muttered. “I just ..I want to make you feel good”.

Sy opened and closed his mouth before his thumb grazed your cheek. You could tell that he was lost for words. Ten years was a long time after all. You’d had a few dates here and there, some kisses and a few heavy make out sessions with a college of yours. But nothing further. Something always held you back.

You held Sy’s gaze as your mouth engulfed him again and this time Sy’s hand tangled in your hair while he gently helped you find a rhythm. He sat up slightly to watch you and the whole time he muttered praises.

“God that’s it baby. Jesus your mouth .. look at me, don’t take your eyes off me Sugar”.

You stared at him and your confidence grew along with the arousal pooling between your legs.

“God you’re beautiful .. so fucking beautiful”. Sy gently moved your mouth off him and sat up to kiss you passionately. He whispered in your ear that he was close and needed to be inside you.

He moved you onto your back and kissed you as he pulled his body on top of yours. You were kissing him back and so completely lost in the sensations that you were feeling.

“Sugar just a sec”. Sy lent across you and pulled open a draw. You realised he was getting a condom. You were glad that he was responsible but also a little bit hurt to know that he had used them with other women. Sy opened the packet with his teeth and you watched as he sat back between your legs and rolled the condom on. He looked up at you and noticed your expression. “You ok?”

“You .. have a big box of those”.

“Guess so”. Sy rubbed your hips gently.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud”.

“It’s ok Sugar. But I can’t apologize for anyone after you .. I had no idea back then that I’d ever be with you again. I thought it was over for good”.

“I hate the thought of you with anyone else”. You paused. “I hate the thought of you using those with anyone else”.

“And I don’t want anyone else but you”. Sy lent forward to kiss you. “You still want me?”

“Course I do”. Your hands wrapped around his neck as he kissed you deeply. You felt him rub his cock up and down your opening before the tip moved inside you.

“Keep your eyes on me”. Sy’s fingers moved to your clit as he pushed into you gently. “That’s it Sugar. Oh Jesus you feel so good”.

“Sy”. Your eyes went wide as your body struggled to remember the act. You felt your walls tense as you willed yourself to relax.

Sy was halfway in when he moved to bring his mouth to your breast. He sucked on your nipple while his fingers moved in circles on your clit. You started to moan as you threw your head back. He seemed to know exactly what you needed. Gone was the awkward Sy you once knew. Once he felt you relax he pushed completely inside you inch by inch.

“Sy!”

His mouth left your breast and found your lips. He sucked on your bottom one before you opened your mouth and to your surprise he pushed his tongue into your mouth, mimicking the act between your bodies. You could feel his pubic hair flush against your bare skin as he ground his hips into you. You marveled in the feeling.

“You’re so tight .. god I’ve missed you”. Sy leaned back to look at you. “You ok?”

“More than ok”.

“You tell me if it’s too much .. I don’t wanna hurt you”.

“It doesn’t hurt Sy .. I just .. you feel so big”. You flushed.

“Yeah?”

You watched him smirk before he kissed you again. His lips moved to your ear.

“Gonna make you scream my name baby”.

Slowly he thrusted into you before pulling all the way out and thrusting back inside. Your hands clutched fistfuls of his sheets and you started moaning. He was playing you like an instrument.

“You like that Sugar? Gonna make you cum on my cock”.

Your toes curled as he continued to whisper dirty things on your ear. Your hands felt the way that his muscular back rippled before moving to his shoulders then his biceps. You realized then that you loved his arms. They were so strong and you couldn’t wrap your hand around them. He was very much a grown man now.

“Sy .. god you feel good inside me”.

“You feel like heaven”. Sy thrusted deeply into you as his hand moved to grip behind your knee, pushing your leg up higher so that he had better access. You couldn’t believe how deep he was. He was touching a part of you that felt so good. Your whole body started to feel like it was on fire.

“Right there Sy!”

“Yeah? Right there baby?” Sy hit the magic spot over and over again. “Need to feel you Sugar .. need to feel you cum”

You were struggling to breath, no words left your mouth as the most intense orgasm overcame you. You started shaking and your mouth opened to scream but for a moment there was a delay before you cried out. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears as Sy kept thrusting into you. In your haze you watched him - sweat glistening on his chest, his muscles contracting in his huge shoulders and the words spilling from his lips made you even wetter if that was possible.

“I love fucking you .. god how I love you”.

You felt your heart explode as you watched Sy chase his orgasm. His hands moved both your legs over his shoulders and you felt him slide even deeper inside of you. The initial shock of the position he had you in quickly turned to intense pleasure as he touched a sensitive spot deep inside you. His hands found yours and he interlaced your fingers with his as he neared his release. A few deep thrusts and he exploded inside of you. He let out the most manly, almost animalistic sound as his hands moved your legs off his shoulders and his head dropped to you chest. Your hands stroked his back as he continued to thrust shallowly into you and empty ever drop of his release.

You held onto him as you struggled to catch your own breath and you hoped that Sy would need a moment to recover. You wanted to stay exactly the way that you were for as long as possible.

“I love you” You whispered softly. “Just in case you didn’t know”.

“I know Sugar .. nothings changed”. Sy’s mouth was hot against your skin before he kissed your cleavage then traced your nipple with his tongue. Heat instantly rushed to your face. You didn’t want to know where Sy leant the things he was doing to you .. he certainty wasn’t this way ten years ago. But part of you was thankful that you got to experience it with him now. You were amazed that even after such passionate love making that he was still attentive to your body. Still trying to draw out ever bit of pleasure from you.

“Sy”. You breathed into his hair as his mouth moved to your other nipple and his fingers traced your other bud.

“Hush Sugar”. Sy smirked against your skin. “I missed these”.

“Now I know why all the ladies want you Sy”.

“Why’s that?” Sy looked up at you before he rolled you both to your sides with him still inside.

“I don’t know what happened .. well I know but .. Sy you’re good .. so good in bed”. You blushed.

“Thank you Mam but I’m all yours Sugar. If you’ll have me”.

“I want you .. I can’t go back to before .. not after this ..”

“Then don’t”.

“You want me?”

“All of you” Sy smiled at you before moving out of your body slowly. You watched as he went to the bathroom and returned with a warm hand towel. You wondered what he was doing when he parted your thighs and started to clean you.

“What? Sy ..”

“Shhhh Sugar ..”

“Sy”. You winced slightly, knowing that years of abstinence would probably mean you wouldn’t walk straight the next day.

“You sore love?”

“Just worked muscles that haven’t been used in a long time Sy”.

“I wasn’t too rough?”

“No Sy. You were perfect”.

“Ok baby. You always talk to me won’t ya? Tell me if I do something you don’t like?” When you nodded he went to the bathroom to dispose of the used hand towel.

You smiled when he returned back from the bathroom and lay down next to you. He was on his back staring at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about?”

You watched as Sy reached across to the nightstand draw and passed you an envelope. You nodded at it, indicating that he wanted you to open it.

“What’s this?” You looked at it, addressed to Sy.

“Open it”.

Slowly you did and as you clutched the paper your mouth fell open. You had to re read it.

“My grandfather sent this?”

“It came a few weeks ago .. He wanted to make sure ..”

“He asked you to come to the house after the funeral. He wanted you to see me”. You traced your finger over your grandfathers writing. “He .. wrote this when he was dying Sy”.

“He did .. and I’m glad that I kept his wish”.

“Oh Sy”. You put the envelope on the table next to you and pulled Sy down to kiss you. His hand roamed gently on your stomach and you knew Sy was thinking about Wyatt too.

“We can’t go back Sugar”

“No we can’t Sy”

“I wish we could”.

“So do I”.

“But .. even after everything .. I feel blessed right now”. Sy cupped your face. “With you, here in this moment”.

You felt lucky in so many ways. You got to see your grandfather one last time and you got to reconnect with Sy and tell him about the son you both shared. You had no idea what the future held except that you were happy .. for the first time in 10 years.

Tag list 1

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[gloomyjadee]

A sample piece from the book I'm writing, please leave nice criticism:))

Rosemary, chapter excerpt.

Ammie sighed, tugging the old worn pink dress that she scoured from her mother's old clothes. Paulie watched her fidget from her bed, tilting her head. Although Paulie wasn't related to Ammie, Ammie couldn't help but see the old neighbor as a grandmother.

Paulie eyed her, looking the slim girl up and down. She takes a slow drag from her cigarette before sighing.

“You look like your mama.” Paulie says before flicking the cherry off the cig. Ammie frowns.

“I wanna look like me.” She grumbled, scratching at the itchy linen dress that went down to her knobby knees.

“Well, put on something you then..getting things from your mam’s closet ain't helping.” Paulie states, shrugging.

Ammie rolls her eyes.

“It's not like I have anything…were going on a date. I can't just wear some shorts and a tee, Paulie.” Ammie says, fidgetting with her hair, the fried ends shifting in her fingertips.

“Borrow something from that Chastity girl. Shes got a whole lot of uh…pretty things.” Which was Paulie's way of saying she thought Chassy dressed like the town tramp.

Ammie rolled her eyes, scoffing, lifting the dress over her head as she turned to her own closet. Paulie, who was sitting on her bed, threw one leg over the other.

“Or…you could dress how you normally do. The boy likes you for you, not for Chastity.” Paulie says, taking another long drag from the cig in her fingers.

Ammie sighed, facing the mirror, her worn panties seemed like trash compared to the girls in the magazines she found under Gabe's bed.

Ammie never thought about stuff like that with last hookups, but Gabe wasn't a hookup anymore, was he? She put a finger in the waist and, snapping it back to her body.

“I feel rusty.” She says, turning back to the older woman.

“You look like you've been through hell, which you have. Ain't nothing to be ashamed of hon.” Paulie shrugged, standing up from the bed, dusting her pajamas pants from the ash of her cig.

Paulie walked over to the girls closet as Ammie grumbled incoherently. Paulie took out a long sleeved black shirt, that fit ammies small curves. She then shuffled around on the pile of clothing on the floor. She pulled out a jean skirt, which had been much too small for Ammie, barely reaching the tips of her thighs.

Ammie blinked.

“Ain't that a little…” Ammies words trailed off.

“Trampy? Mhm. But not as bad as that Chastity girl..god bless her parents.” Paulie grumbled. Ammie sighed, eyeing the pieces of clothing. She stepped over, picking up the shirt before tugging it on, the soft thin cotton clinging to her skin. She pulled on the short jean skirt next, feeling awfully self conscious about her legs. Which again, wasn't something she usually cared about. She turned to the mirror, and Paulie walked over, pulling Ammies hair up in her wrinkled hands. Pulling a black ribbon from her pocket, she tied the sandy blonde hair into a ponytail, making the ribbon into a small bow. Ammie blinked at herself in the mirror. She felt pretty.

“You look like a doll.” Paulie said, smirking

Thank you so much for reading, this will be a romantic murder mystery based in the rural Midwest, very lana del Rey trailer trash if ya feel me...anyways I'll be posting character boards soon, hang tight :))

[glittergracie]

within you

Let me swim in your honey brown eyes

That watch me in carefully placed yearning glances,

That glimmer with iridescence in the spring light.

Let me hold your smooth warm hand

That tip-taps along the aged wood of this bench,

That seems to glow as you pluck a wildflower.

Let me touch your sun-kissed cheek

That you turn to me in nervousness,

That seems to hold your secrets.

Let me kiss your rose pink lips

That I know are warm despite the brisk air,

That call out to me through our silence.

Let me comb my fingers through the chocolate waves of your hair

That sparkles in the warmth of the sun,

That splays across the width of your shoulders in invitation.

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Welcome to my blog!

You can call me Serenade. I'm she/her, 25, pretty delusional and completely in love with Zoro and the world of One Piece (protect Oda at all times!). I created this blog as a means to get all my fantasies and ideas out of my head on paper to share with you all.

I will be using tumblr and AO3 to post my work (usernames for both sites are the same; zorosjuicymelonsx). I hope to inspire you to let your creative juices flow - just to go through the nitty gritty stuff: I would prefer that anyone under the age of 18 know I'm not responsible for you and you read my work at your own risk. I don't condone plagerism so please don't steal my work.

Now we've covered that, I sincerely wish you all enjoy my work and leave lovely comments for me :3 I will be posting my first fic soon!

[lollipop-biting-menace]

hi its my first ever story can ya help me out by visiting you don't even have to read it just open the first part and then leave okay bye

its also my first tumblr post

[j-broog]

Finally In To Has Been

Intro

November 26th, 2018, the day I was finally “in.” Ask anybody who knew me growing up, I was not your typical cookie cutter sorority girl. I went into college with the notion that I would never join a sorority in my life. My dad and I even had a discussion that I never really got along with girls growing up, I was always around the guys (jocks). But here I was, sitting in my alcohol-ridden, yet surprisingly up-kept, sorority annex house that I called home for Junior year of college - The Nut House - and I was announcing my term as President in the most formal of manners - social media. This was among the top 6 proudest moments of my life to date. Yes, you read me right, I said 6. I may or may not have an aversion to odd numbers, it’ll be easier if you don’t ask questions and, as every sorority woman will tell you - trust the process.

Chapter 1

Let’s rewind to the beginning, shall we. Rhetorical question - we shall. Remember, trust the process (and only I get to ask the questions). 

October 24th, 2015, I’m changing out of my Homecoming court dress and tiara (not crown, tiara. Coming in second is something I will never get over, but people say that’s something to talk to my therapist about… we’ll to that later). My best friend since kindergarten, Katie, and I are getting ready to visit a state college together. The one I fell in love with the first (and only) time I visited and subsequently, the one her current boyfriend was attending. It sounded like a match made in heaven. Absolute fate that Katie and I could pack up our suburban Silicon Valley lives and move three hours north to a quaint little town called Chico. Me, following my gut, and Katie, following her… heart. 

It’s pitch black in the middle of the boonies, or so I assume, I fell asleep rather quickly. We left our familiar hometown of Sunnyvale, California and were headed north. It was an easy road trip, if you’d even consider three hours a road trip, or so we thought. 

Katie and I jolt out of our deep sleep in the back seat as her father slams on the brakes and the sound of her mother yelling fills the SUV with terror. I thought this was it. My life was coming to an end and I didn’t even f*cking win Homecoming Queen. (Yes, I know this is the most ridiculous thing to have been focused on at this moment but the wound was still fresh and I did not have any cinematic reel of my life flashing before my eyes). 

Ed, Katie’s middle-aged new balance and jean short wearing father, breathes in deeply as he turns to us and says, “raccoon.” 

Raccoon. Raccoon? You almost put me into cardiac arrest over a RACCOON? I mean sure, we love a man who cares about all living things but the two living things in the back seat would have appreciated a less dramatic awakening from our peaceful slumber. Nevertheless, the raccoon lived on as did all living beings in that SUV.

[quillrosetellsstories]

The Way Smell Evokes Memory

            On a hot summer afternoon, after a day of playing in the sun but before retiring to play video games, my mother would always shower. She loved spending time with us on those rare free days when all five of her girls were home, and she wasn’t working one of many jobs she held down simultaneously to provide. Our job was to set the living room up, since she didn’t understand and wasn’t willing to learn how to work the equipment. She would emerge in a puff of steam and a waft of perfume. Unwilling to wear shorts outside, those days she was even willing to don a light summer nightdress. We each peeled off at different times in the night, smart enough and independent enough to dictate our own bedtimes. With a yawn, I’d announce my departure. My mother was never short on hugs, pulling me in and holding me, understanding of the importance of that contact. Rich vanilla and rose and a creamy, heavy shea butter: the last things I’d smell for the night.

            When riffling through the cabinet before moving out, I discovered the exact lotion she would use. Her ‘yes’ when I asked to take it was distracted, unaware of the significance. Although, I don’t use it much.

[darkromanceauthor-savannahblayke]

Just a tiny little tease - Dark Romance/Suspense - Raven’s Heart - Unleashing Her Fire, Book One of The Raven Trilogy. 

[confessionsofamessyhuman]

New Me

Lately I've been having a lot of thoughts.

Today, at nearly 2 AM, I decided I'm changing.

I'm becoming a better version of myself.

Here's my list:

Becoming a better listener

Drinking only water

Saving money

Keeping my house organized 24/7

Stop smoking weed

Showing at work what I'm capable of

Knowing what I want in life

Caring

I can keep going, but let's be realistic.

Once I see these things on the list become a habit, I'll add more.

I'll have an update tomorrow night.

Wish me luck.

[leftyfelix2]

My new book “Crimson” has been officially released on Amazon! Buy it today! 😃

[glittergracie]

fantasy

I dream of swimming through your golden honey eyes;

Parting the water with my hands as I dive in,

Feeling sticky stardust within my fingers.

Wriggling my toes in the tall warm grass,

Watching the fireflies dance at dusk.

Here is where you’re most beautiful,

This fantasy world only found within your mind.

[live-again2morrow]

That night, as I lay in bed, the newfound knowledge occupied my thoughts. In the stillness of the darkness, I felt a surge of unfamiliar emotions wash over me - urgency, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. These emotions didn't feel like my own. With a sense of wonder, I realized that the connection between myself and this mysterious entity (whom I sincerely hoped was a super cute guy with a heart-stopping smile) was not one-sided; they, too, could sense my thoughts.

Intrigued and emboldened, I decided to do a little experiment and nurture the bond, reaching out with every fibre of my being. I sent a bold "Halla" through what I believed to be the connection, a strange part of me hoping that this was all a vivid dream. I nearly fell off my bed when a clear voice replied "It was about tim

Closer Than Touch, Separated by Light Years (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/354567305-closer-than-touch-separated-by-light-years?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=Avireals&wp_originator=wNGFr2Vv8fhqjFzQUkV6LoghAIJ0SZSHFAXwajMMZ%2FHy9s4dfKDQJfQBhCLhuJgnprAgSrV4V%2F21QZhsSV7Ewv3LboKx%2FS5DSpfwcXIv1udG8XBic%2BoPM%2Byu7PNDofes Anaya is a gifted architecture student plagued by vivid dreams of a mysterious stranger - Altair. When their telepathic soulmate connection strengthens, she discovers he exists lightyears away in an advanced yet undiscovered world. Though their souls and minds are intimately joined, Altair and Anaya know the vast distance between their realms makes a physical romance impossible. As their emotional and intellectual bond deepens, an undeniable yearning blossoms alongside the harsh reality that they may never hold each other. But Anaya and Altair refuse to let even the universe keep them apart. Through breathtaking visions and late-night talks that lift their spirits across the stars, their relationship flourishes into a love transcending all boundaries. Faced with crossing paths forever, the soulmates fight to defy reality's cruel limitations.But will defying fate cost Anaya everything she cherishes on Earth?

[mysticllamaunknown]

Asylum - The Master (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1391790772-asylum-the-master?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MadsBooks7&wp_originator=3UiN4LRxGJXZ9OYLmDTdfjwdMNq%2FpEsZF5BiZeOk2zID6n0Ft7xYPN1pzhBk5q5nSe7MuLzYGJk%2BjYFU9gEx7wxcVLhKoGe%2Bp8JlhyMvcyr0Xl1AktM3Ci71k6NdCemw Marcus knew his Grandfather created the comic book Dark Triad, about a Necromancer named Asylum. He watched cheesy movies and played online games based on the story. But when he cosplayed a spell from the comic, he contacted the Angel of Death. The truth about his family as a cage for a fallen angel, his connection to the Void, and his legacy as the Priest-King were revealed. Marcus must choose to claim his birthright or turn away from inheriting the ultimate power over life and death.