#looks better on a resume than what i’m doing now etc etc etc

[gobbluthbutagirl]

there is like a high probability that i will wind up getting this lead position at my job because my talk with the store director went really well and the problem with this is that i feel the exact same way about this that i did when i got my GED four years ago. and the way that i feel is the way that talk show host by radiohead sounds. which is empty(and nothing. nothing. nothing. nothing)

[365granitegirlx]

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Anything’s better than the way I feel right now

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

PraiseKink!Vessel can’t stand to see you burnt out, but he loves to watch you fall apart under his touch.

Tags/ CW/ Head’s Up: vessel x reader, fem!reader, gendered pet names (good girl, princess etc), praise kink, lots and lots of praise from Ves, angst, hurt/comfort, comfort sex, deep throat, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, established relationship, hand-on-throat (NO BREATHPLAY), not revised

a/n: repost due to an error. if you thought you already saw this, no you didn't.

MDNI 18+

You’re burnt out. It happens, but you had been on such a roll that this slump hurts ten times worse. You’re laying in the dark in just a old baggy band tee and your undies…pants be damned when you’re having a meltdown. The bedroom door creeks open, and there’s Vessel. He had been gaming with his mates and wanted you to stay in the den with him, but you said you needed alone time. And he honored it. He always did. He disrobes and slips in behind you.

“Still don’t want to talk, babes?” He asks softly as he plants a kiss behind your ear. You shake your head “no,” and he nuzzles his nose into your neck.

“You’re a good girl, you know that? You’re strong. You’re smart. You’re soft and tender in a cruel world. And you’re allowed to have bad days. Yeah? It’s ok to just be.”

Finally tears surface in your eyes. You’d been needing to cry all day but the tears just wouldn’t come. You roll over and bury your head in the crook of his neck that rests against his pillow. Despite your tears and sniffles, you can’t help but kiss and nip at his neck.

“Angel…”

“I just want to feel good with you,” you whisper breathlessly…pathetically as your lips graze up to his cheek. He whimpers and holds you close as your lips find the corner of his mouth.

“Mmmph. Look at you. Telling me what you want…and taking it. That’s so hot, good girl.” He lifts your leg over his hip and lands a playful swat on your juicy ass. “I can guess what else you want. Be my little doll, yeah? Just make the sounds I want you to make. Can you do that?”

You’re eyes are rolling back just from him speaking to you as your hips roll forward. He groans softly and takes to your neck. His mouth wets your neck with needy, sucking kisses as his large hand grips your under your panties. Your back arches and his trails up your shirt.

He moves to your ear and nips the lobe. “Such a pretty girl for me. Do you know how good you make me feel? Even when you feel like shit…you’re a fucking goddess.”

You balk a bit at his aggression.

“Ah ah ah. You’re going to take the compliment like you’re taking my cock. That’s something you are excellent at, isn’t it? Hm?” He looks at your face in the dark and rubs his face against yours. “Agree with me. Be a good girl.”

You bite your lip and whimper. “I’m good at taking your cock.”

“Mm. And do you believe that?”

“I…I…yeah. Yeah I do.”

“Smart girl…good answer,” he whispers as he presses sweet kisses to your cheek. “Now…tell me that you’re a good…smart girl. Tell me your tenderness is a strength… do that for me? Please.”

You repeat him with trepidation. The way he’s weaponized your praise kink has paid dividends, but you feel awkward. He presses a deep kiss your lips and lets his fingers rub against your clit under your panties.

“I need you ready for me,” he coos. You writhe and whimper under his touch. You can tell he absorbed every minute of you touching yourself for him…he was a natural. You grasp in the darkness for his crotch. Of course he’s already hard…you’re his precious girl. He slips out of his underwear and sits on his knees beside you. “A perfect view…oh my god” as he speaks you’ve lifted your shirt to let him play with your tits.

“Mmm. For me, precious?”

You’re already stroking his cock and moaning again as he resumes rubbing your sensitive wet clit. You look up at him with babydoll eyes and let your lips part slightly as you move towards him. The moment your mouth wraps around his cock he’s holding the back of your head not to push your further, but to hang on. The way you suck his cock makes him feral. He wants to be gentle and loving since you had your bad day…but you did say you just wanted to feel good. And Vessel wants to make you feel so good that you see god and forget about the bullshit. He moves his hand from your cunt and holds your soft middle.

Vessel’s hips move with more force as he holds you still. You move your own hand down to touch yourself as he uses your pretty mouth.

“That’s it. That’s it, good girl.” He lets out a growl as he feels you gag ever so slightly. “Can you turn your brain off and just feel good for me?”

You nod and whine pathetically with his cock pumping in and out your mouth, your plush lips rubbing against him roughly. You’re able to bring yourself to orgasm quickly, and it nearly does him in. His hand goes to your throat to gently stop you.

“You’ve done enough. Such a good fucking girl. See what you’ve done to me?” He asks breathing heavily. “You made yourself cum and almost made me finish in the back of your throat.” His thumb gently rubs your pulse point. “But you would have liked that. You would have liked to been filled like that. Such a flexible girl. Speaking of flexible…”

He roughly moves you to put a pillow under your ass and rip off your underwear.

“Ves…babe…I’m not that flexi-”

“Shh sh shh shh” he says as he lifts your legs up and out. Your tummy folds and rolls as your hips are elevated for your boyfriend’s pleasure. He gently slaps your clit. “You are the best girl. You can do it. You can take it. Tell me you can take it. Hm? Please, good girl? Believe in yourself for me?”

He’s already moving to push inside you when you whimper his name.

“Ves oh my god…I’m not built for this.”

“Oh precious angel…” He thrusts in unceremoniously. “You’re built to feel good. To experience the pleasure you deserve. And right now…that means your built for this.

He holds you by your ribs cage that’s protected by your soft, luscious flesh. He loves that he gets to knead…suck…bite…kiss this gorgeous body…and he shows you by fucking you with sharp, firm thrusts. The angle is incredible despite feeling folded like a reluctant pretzel.

“Ffffuck….ahh…my good girl….my good fucking girl,” he growls out. His pace picks up as your walls tighten around him. You’ve forgotten about your day. You’ve forgotten the nasty thoughts you had about yourself…your voice croaks…

“I feel so pretty with you…”

He moves quickly to hold your throat gently and fuck into you harder. He moves his face close to your ear, which makes you scream a little because he’s bottomed out in you.

“If I could take away that disgusting voice in your head, I would pluck it out and swallow it myself” he whispers. He bites into your soft neck and you cry out. “You’re my girl…and my girls don’t fucking hate themselves.”

And that’s when you let go. Your hips release and you let yourself be used. When he cums, it’s loud. It’s pathetic sounding…like strangled sobs in his throat as he cries your name. When he eases out of you and relaxes, he kisses your forehead and says “I’m sorry. I scared myself there a bit at the end.”

You caress his face and let your thumb rub against his lip. “No. Ves…no…that was wonderful. I…I liked it. Just because you like to be soft and…praising me…doesn’t mean you can’t be enjoy something rougher.”

He nods softly and lays back. “Noted.”

[jahayla-parker]

Made For : Finnick Odair x Reader

(Finnick Odair x Victor!Reader / Finnick Odair x Tribute!Reader / Finnick Odair x District4!Reader / Finnick Odair x Gf!Reader / Finnick Odair x fem!reader)

Descr: 5k wc, set to the time of What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish, Y/n finds herself questioning her worth and what she was made for when she finds herself in the same situation as her boyfriend Finnick Odair has been in since he won his games when his body began to be sold or given as gifts to those in the Capitol; Finnick seeks to help her through it. Hurt-Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Support, Healing, Etc.

Warnings: Hunger Games type warnings, mentions of Snow’s sex trafficking of victors (aka rape, but NOTHING explicit, everything post events), violence, trauma, bruising and injuries, crying, self-blame, and related. Please let me know if I missed anything!

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

Was this all there was? That seemed to be the case lately at least. To be fair, as a former victor, what else was there now? What was she made for outside of this? This had become not just a part of her life but her story, her identity. Was she really made for this? Could she be made for more? Would the Capitol even allow that?

These thoughts were on constant repeat in y/n’s head as she walked back to her house in the victor’s village. This was a routine occurrence as of late. So much so she actually debated if it made more sense to simply move to the Capitol rather than walking to the train and back every time she had a client to attend to. It would certainly save time and energy. But then again, her time was expendable and her energy was practically non existent by now. Besides, the train ride back to District 4 offered her solitude; something she had learned to equate to safety. The solitude that came with the train ride also provided her the chance to zone out, something she often resorted to after the events of the her visits to the Capitol. She also utilized the walk home from the train station as a way to try to compose herself before she returned to her boyfriend. Finnick knew what she was going through, far better than he should, given he was in the same position himself. But, that’s precisely why y/n wanted to make the most of the time they had together by not having to deal with the traumas imposed on them by Snow. She also needed the physical separation from the ever present carelessness and cruelty that was the literal foundation of the Capitol. Lastly, but by far the most important factor in her decision to not simply move to the Capitol, y/n wouldn’t live somewhere where Finnick wasn’t.

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

“Oh! Fin,” Y/n gasped, frantically wiping at her damp cheeks. Finnick had left a note saying he had some things to do in town, so she wasn’t expecting him home already. She hadn’t known he would be back from his errands so soon. If she had, she’d not have let herself break down this much.

Finnick frowned as he took in the state of his girlfriend. “Honey, what’s happened?” He asked, quickly making his way over to her. When she mumbled a quiet “nothing” in response, he sighed sympathetically. “Okay,” he nodded, cautiously taking y/n’s hands in his. “You don’t have to say anything honey, just know I’m here for you, okay?” He proposed, squeezing her hands as he scanned her tearful eyes.

“You’re allowed to cry,” Finnick commented lovingly when y/n seemed to whisper an apology before taking her hands back to resume drying her face.

“No,” y/n argued vaguely. She kept her eyes on the wood floor under her feet as she pulled the collar of her shirt up to dry her tears faster. He didn’t need to deal with this.

Finnick’s worried frown deepened. “Why not?”

“Because I should be used to this,” y/n answered, her tone laced with self-deprecating judgment.

Finnick’s chest caved in painfully as he came to understand what was troubling y/n. It wasn’t that he was truly surprised. While she was at the Capitol, he’d gone to the market to try to find some y/f/d for her for when she got home. It wasn’t much, but he was hoping it would help cheer her up slightly since he knew she’d unexpectedly had to leave two days in a row so far this week. He’d also been sure to tidy up and get some extra cozy blankets out of their closet for her. He had intended on being home by the time she got back, but the typical place he went to was out of y/f/d so he’d had tried to search for awhile. If he’d known y/n was already home, he’d have rushed back earlier.

As painful as it was to know what y/n was going through, and knowing he was powerless to stop it, this was almost worse. Finnick hated that she felt she had to become immune to the pain that came with having to attend to clients at the Capitol. She’d never expected him to do that, so why did she think she needed to? Finnick shook his head and took her hands in his once again, “no, you shouldn’t. This isn’t acceptable”.

Y/n mindlessly shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, if you ask Snow,” she commented, having actually done that herself not too long ago. “I.., this is what I was made for,” she concluded with a defeated sad smile.

Finnick felt his anger flare and he clenched his jaw to keep the tension in his face and not his hands that held y/n’s. “That’s such bullshi-”, he began but paused and sighed. His anger wasn’t going to help the situation, especially if there was a chance she might misinterpret it as being directed towards her. “Y/n,” he cooed in a much softer tone, “that’s not true”.

Y/n huffed lightly. She slowly lifted her gaze up from Finnick’s shoes until her eyes reached his troubled face. “Then what was I made for, Fin?” She asked timidly.

Finnick offered y/n a sad smile. He released one of her hands so he could use his now-free one to cup her cheek. “You were made to be you,” he said, his smile warmer now, “that’s all you ever have to be”.

“This is me,” y/n pointed out as she stared into Finnick’s attentive eyes.

Finnick’s brows scrunched together. “No”. He shook his head slowly. “This is something being forced upon you,” he reminded y/n delicately. “This is a chapter of your life, albeit a painful and traumatic one. But, you are not what is, or was, done to you”. When he noticed she was about to argue, he tapped her cheek tenderly. “Do you think this is who I am?” He asked, knowing full well despite them being in the same position, she was seeing herself through a much harsher lens than she would ever dare to see him.

Y/n rapidly shook her head worriedly. Of course that’s not what she meant! Seeing the way Finnick’s eyes and expression communicated the fact he already knew she didn’t see him that way calmed her. She slowly understood why he’d asked that question if he already knew her answer. He was right, it was ironic and hypocritical. But, she could see so many purposes Finnick had outside of this ordeal. The same couldn’t be said about herself.

Finnick silently gasped as he watched y/n close her eyes and begin to break down in tears. “Can I…” he trailed off, wanting to make sure he conveyed the message that it was her choice and he’d understand either way. “A-are you okay with me holding you right now?” Finnick questioned softly.

Finnick smiled faintly to himself when y/n gave him a silent nod in response. He made sure to give her enough time to change her mind if physical contact was understandably too much for her right now as he moved to he pull her to him. “Let it out love,” he encouraged, “you don’t need to keep this bottled up inside”. Finnick carefully let them to the couch, watching her to see if the action would be too triggering for her right now.

Y/n sat in silence in Finnick’s loving embrace for an unknown amount of time. Just listening to his whispered sweet nothings as she let his warm hands release her tension as he delicately rubbed her back. After a moment of contemplation, she leaned back to look up at her steadfast boyfriend. “How do you do it?” She asked quietly.

“What?” Finnick questioned, tilting his head down to see y/n more clearly.

“Live like this,” y/n explained. “I mean! I know you don’t have a choice either!” she corrected, cupping Finnick’s face apologetically. “But,” she sniffled. “You’re so much better at dealing with all of this,” y/n croaked.

Finnick pouted and sighed. That wasn’t something she should be trying to meet. He knew what she was seeking, the ability to get by without feeling the burden of all of this. But it shouldn’t be something anyone should have to seek. Much less something she should be ashamed for not having been able to do yet. “I’ve had a few extra years, honey,” Finnick reminded her solemnly.

Y/n smiled sadly and nodded minimally. “So,” she sniffled, tracing imaginary shapes on Finnick’s shirt. “I’ll get better at it?” She asked, her eyes moving up to meet his.

Finnick let out a long sigh. “I want to say no…” he admitted. “Because you shouldn’t have to. This shouldn’t be something you experience, let alone get used to.” He grit his teeth as he thought about the things he wished he could do to Snow for making y/n have to deal with any of this. “But, yeah…,” Finnick nodded sadly, “time will make it less noticeable. I’ll be here to help you with this too”.

Tears sprung into y/n’s still watery eyes again. She silently clung onto Finnick tightly. She knew her shaky sobs were making his shirt wet and was appreciative that he didn’t seem to be annoyed by it. “You know you don’t have to, right?” Y/n questioned in a hushed voice.

Finnick’s face furrowed slightly as he replayed y/n’s muffled voice, trying to see if “hearing” it a second time would allow him to understand what she’d said. Her face was buried in his chest, her lips pressed against the fabric of his shirt, making whatever she’d tried to say incomprehensible. “What’s that, darling?” Finnick asked tenderly as he brushed some of her hair away from her face.

Y/n slowly pulled herself off of Finnick’s chest in order to repeat herself. She needed him to hear her clearly. It was important that he knew this. “I want you to know that while I do appreciate everything, you don’t have to do all of this,” y/n told him breathily. “I know it’s a lot, and I’m needy, and I-“.

“Shhhh, honey,” Finnick whined, his face contorted with worry.

Y/n smiled faintly at her endearing boyfriend. “No it’s okay,” she promised, “I know I am, but I just…” She swallowed thickly and moved her arms away from Finnick’s torso, up to his face instead. “My worry isn’t about that. My worry is that I want to be sure that you know you don’t have to exert yourself to this extent.” Y/n once again offered him a tiny smile despite the turmoil in her mind. “You’re already going through a lot yourself, you don’t need to take me on as a burden too,” she assured him.

“You’re not a burden, my love,” Finnick argued with a soft shake of his head.

Y/n let out an airy half-laugh. “Regardless, Fin, I’m serious, you’d still be the best boyfriend, and the love of my life, without taking this on too. I need you to know that you don’t need to do this,” she explained fully.

Finnick smiled warmly as he continued to gaze down at y/n. “I do”. He leaned his head into her hand on his jaw. “I do know that, honey”.

“Good,” y/n breathed out in relief. “I don’t ever want to pressure you to do anything, even small, that-“ she began to ramble.

“I know,” Finnick nodded in understanding, his pointer finger trailing down her jaw. “I feel the same, angel,” he pointed out softly. “I want this. I want us. And, I want to be there for you, to lighten this darkness as much as I can for you since I can’t stop it.”

Y/n let out a choppy cry before she dove back into Finnick’s embrace. She held onto him tightly. “I love you so much, sweetheart,” she whimpered against his shoulder as her arms snaked around his back.

“I love you too, honey,” Finnick cooed, his own arms tight around y/n. “I love you too.” He closed his eyes and breathed in her familiarly comforting scent. “We’re going to get through this.”

'Cause I, 'cause I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday I might

Someday I might

Y/n gasped as the bathroom door opened unexpectedly. She’d been staring at her bruises through the mirror for hours. Or so she suspected. She’d dissociated and lost track of time. As such, when the door opened, she had just been standing there alone in her and Finnick’s bathroom in only her bra and panties as she continued to take in her appearance.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Finnick guiltily rushed out, stepping back into the hall and quickly pulling the door shut. “I didn’t know you were home, I’m sorry,” he whispered. His brows were scrunched as he tried to keep his anger at bay over having seen the marks on her body. Whoever her body had been sold to today hadn’t followed the contractual restrictions of not marking her up. The limitation was one of Snow’s rules for the acts one could commit against the victors he sold to the residents of the Capitol. It was not for the protection or sake of the victors themselves, but rather because it decreased their worth until the marks healed; Snow didn’t take discounts, meaning injuries risked a victor being out of commission for some time.

“‘s okay, Fin,” y/n whispered. She wiped the unshed tears from her eyes. She felt bad for the way her gasp made him feel like he was in the wrong for simply opening the door to his own bathroom. But, there was a more prevailing sense of blame that she felt right now regarding what he just experienced because of her. “Sorry, you didn’t need to see that… to see… me… like….” She rambled.

Finnick rested his head on his side of the closed bathroom door. “Honey, no, please don’t apologize,” he frowned. “Are you okay?” It was a stupid question, but he found himself needing to ask it nevertheless.

“Y-yeah,” y/n’s voice trembled through the door.

Finnick winced and pursed his lips. “Y/n,” he whispered knowingly.

“I can’t…. I…” y/n huffed. “It’s just…, I don’t know how to cover them,” she choked out. “Snow’s…. Snow is going to blame me”. Despite being on the other side of the door, her worry was evident in her tone.

Finnick squeezed his eyes shut. She shouldn’t be worried about this. She shouldn’t be dealing with any of this. She was meant for far more than this. “It’s not on you,” he reminded her gently.

“It was…,” y/n began, but paused, not wanting to burden Finnick by informing him of the name of her client. It was something they both often protected the other from. Since they would have to run into previous clients at mandatory Capitol parties, knowing who they were would only cause them to be constantly be mad at those specific attendees after knowing what they had been capable of doing to their unwilling partner. It was a morbid resolution, but one the couple had settled on in order to survive.

Y/n shook her head as she stared into the bathroom mirror. She watched herself as she poked at the bruising on her side. She flinched at pain and stifled a hiss. “He…,” she paused and took a deep breath, “he’s too close to Snow”. While she wouldn’t bother Finnick with who he was tonight, she knew her boyfriend was set on understanding why she was worried about being blamed for this when it was the one thing that usually fell on the clients. “It’ll be pinned on me for not having stopped him, that I should’ve-,” y/n sighed.

“That’s not your responsibility,” Finnick quickly pointed out. Y/n needed to know that. None of this was her fault nor responsibility. She was merely trying to survive. Something that shouldn’t be this difficult. “That’s not even something you are allowed to do, don’t let them trick you into blaming yourself by pretending that you suddenly had the privilege to stop him. None of this is by choice. None of this is your fault,” he reminded her. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his lips into a thin line. “Regardless of what you have to do or not do, none of this is your fault. No matter what you did or didn’t do, do or don’t do. Okay?” Finnick practically pleaded softly.

“Okay,” y/n agreed. She stood in silence as she stared at the purplish stains on her skin. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she confessed after another moment of contemplation.

Finnick bit his lip. “We’ll worry about that later,” he promised. “For now, do you need medical attention?” He asked worriedly. He’d only seen y/n’s injuries briefly before quickly shutting the door so she could regain some privacy.

Y/n chuckled darkly. “Like that would ever be an option,” she scoffed. The sold victors, even when covered in injuries despite their clients being told not to cause any, weren’t allowed to seek medical services or treatment. No matter how small or severe. It was clear Snow feared that the victors doing so would potentially expose the villainous was he was running a sex trade for the Capitol’s most prized residents. Not that anyone would likely do anything even if they did.

“It is,” Finnick corrected, his worry increasing as he wondered if y/n had gone without help for injuries before tonight. “We might not be able to go seek it out,” he acknowledged. “But, I’ve got a kit.” Finnick bit the inside of his cheek as he prepared to hear her answer to his next question. “Do you need anything?”

Y/n sniffled. “There’s nothing you can do for bruises,” she sighed.

Finnick’s fists balled at his side as he heard y/n’s shaky breathing and sniffling. “I… there’s a… a uhhh..” he rambled, his mind spinning. “A balm in the bottom drawer, to the left of the sink, it helps with pain,” he offered. He leaned against the doorframe, his ear pinned to the door as he waited to see if there was anything he could do for y/n.

After a few moments of silence, Finnick finally heard y/n’s small voice call out his name. His head perked up against the door. “Yeah, honey?” He asked. “I’m still here, what’s happening?”

“I, uhhh…” y/n frowned, burdened with guilt. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I can’t… I can’t reach it.”

“The balm?” Finnick questioned. He tried to visualize where it was and what severity or type of injuries might be preventing y/n from being able to reach it.

Y/n hesitated for a moment, uncertain how to answer without sounding weak and worrying Finnick further. “No, the… the handprint on my back,” she choked out.

Finnick winced, his fists clenching together and eyes screwing shut tightly. “Do you want some help?” He asked once he’d regained some of his composure.

“Do you mind?” Y/n whispered.

Finnick opened his eyes and frowned as he stepped back slightly from the door. “No, ‘course not, honey,” he promised. “Let me know when you’re okay with me coming in, alright?” Finnick instructed tenderly.

“Uhh yeah..,” y/n agreed slowly. She gazed at her exposed body in disgust. “How much… uhmmm. How much do you want me to cover up?”

“What do you mean, love?” Finnick wondered.

“I…,” y/n sighed. “How much should I cover up? Like… just leave my back exposed?” She asked as she eyed her discarded pile of tainted clothes in the corner of the bathroom.

Finnick frowned at y/n’s worry. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, love,” he advised gently. “As much as you need.” Finnick quickly tried to find a better response, knowing that a direct answer would help her since she was feeling sorta out of it right now. “If you prefer, I can blindly apply it to your back under your top,” he offered.

“Okay so you want me fully dressed?” Y/n asked rhetorically as her slow mind thought through her next steps. “One moment,” she agreed, turning to her pile of abandoned clothing.

Finnick’s brows furrowed. “It’s not about what I want, honey.” He sighed silently to himself. He hated how much she was worrying about him right now when she was the one needing help. “I just want you to be comfortable… as much as you can,” Finnick explained.

“So, I…” y/n began as she made her way back to the bathroom entrance. She cracked the door open lightly. She held it in place, forming just enough of an opening to stick only her head out of it, the edge of the door pressed into her neck. This way she wasn’t exposing Finnick to the sight of her injuries just yet. Y/n hesitantly looked up and met his patient eyes. “You’re okay with me not putting my shirt back on yet?” She clarified.

Finnick nodded, “I’m fine either way”. “This is about you, y/n”.

“Okay,” y/n said with a weak nod since her head was pinned. She offered Finnick a small smile, “thanks”. “‘Cause the fabric hurts right now,” y/n confessed.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Finnick reminded y/n lovingly.

Y/n pulled her head back in through the slightly opened door. “I know, it’s just, I know how ugly my body looks right now,” she explained as she slowly opened the door for Finnick.

“Hey, hey, don’t say that,” Finnick scolded softly. “You’re beautifully breathtaking, honey, always,” he promised. “Of course I don’t want to see you like this, but that’s not because it changes your beauty, only because I hate that you’re in pain, that someone hurt you,… I mean, I know it always hurts… I don’t like that either… I just meant.. right now with it being… more than…” he rambled.

Y/n nodded in understanding. She grabbed Finnick’s hand tightly. The warmth from his palm helped soothe her some. A shiver went through her as her body began to release some of the tension she was holding in.

Finnick stared intently into y/n’s eyes. “You’re in charge here, okay? You control where I look or touch, okay?”

When Finnick finished his scan of y/n’s body for any more injuries to attend to, he sighed with the tiniest bit of relief. “I promise you,” he said as he stood before her and took her hands in his. “I’m going to see to it that we find a way to make this end, to take our lives back, because you’re made for much more than to be used for Snow’s cruel plans”.

“We,” y/n corrected lovingly. She smiled softly at him, temporarily forgetting about the painful bruises that had led them to this tender moment.

Finnick smiled back. “Yeah.” He stepped closer to y/n, never breaking eye contact. “We are made for much more than to be his pawns. And I vow, one day it won’t even be something we have to worry about ever again”.

Y/n stared deeply into Finnick’s calming and beautiful eyes. “Maybe I was made for loving you, Fin,” she commented dazedly.

“Wh-…What?” Finnick stumbled breathily. “What, honey?” He asked. He couldn’t have possibly heard her correctly.

Y/n smiled tenderly at Finnick. She pulled his hands towards her, pleased when his feet followed and brought the rest of him with. “I said, ‘maybe I was made for loving you, Fin’,” y/n happily repeated.

“I.. I don’t…,” Finnick gasped with a timid shake of his head.

Y/n smiled up at Finnick as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s never even been a choice,” she admitted admiringly, “although if it were, it’d have been the easiest decision in all of Panem history”. “It’s just so easy and comfortable to love you, Finnick. It’s just so right”. She shook her head lovingly as she continued to peer into his sea-green eyes that felt like home.

Finnick knew he was undoubtedly a blushing mess. But he didn’t care. “Well,” he mumbled and cleared throat. “If that’s something one can be made for, then I was made for loving you, my dear,” he hummed. Finnick smiled lovingly at y/n before bowing his head to kiss her forehead.

“One day everyone will know that’s all we’ll ever have been made for,” y/n hummed, returning Finnick’s encouraging sentiment from earlier. She leaned into his kiss and cuddled up in his arms.

Finnick was careful in his positioning due to y/n’s bruises, but he nevertheless returned her embrace. He cautiously held her to him with a soft sigh. “One day, honey, one day”.

Think I forgot how to be happy

Something I'm not, but something I can be

Something I wait for

Something I'm made for

Something I'm made for

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[simplydannie]

Hi Dannie! I’m a bit new to your page and just finished reading all of your work and few days ago. I had an idea for a fanfic request, what if Velvet and Veneer switched places. For example: the mistress likes Veneer more, Veneer has an attitude like Velvets, etc. Not 100% sure if you’ve already done something like this but just thought I’d suggest it! :)

Haii!

First of all, thank you so much for even bothering to read my stuff ❤️ that means a lot to me! Secondly, I have not done anything like this yet! I love this idea. It’ll be a challenge since I am so used to writing them the other way around. I hope it’s good enough! Here we go:

Velvet looked at herself in the mirror….she didn’t know who in the world she was looking at. It definitely wasn’t her. This “glamazon” her brother came up with was FAR from her. Makeup, glittering wardrobe! Velvet had always been about the simple life…

“It’s what the fans want. It’s what THEY want from us. So get used to it.” He had told her.

But this is not what she wanted. Sure she was desperate to leave the under-city… but at what cost, loosing herself? Today she wore a glittering golden, long sleeve, crop too, with white bell bottom pants and purple crystal heeled boots..

“For then fans.” She told herself. She heard commotion outside the door. In entered her brother, they marched, somewhat. He wore a glittering golden oversized hoodie with white skinny jeans and purple crystal boots that were styled somewhat like combat boots. They both sported the same purple crystal choker around their long necks.

“Ready for the performance.” He slid his hands through his swooped up green hair, smiling at himself in the mirror.

“Yeah. Sure.” Velvet responded with a small smile. He grabbed his sister by the shoulders and gave her a small shake.

“Pep up sis! We deserve this. We deserve happiness.” He told her. Velvet smiled at him through the mirror, his smiled matching hers. “Now! Time for some Troll!” Veneer opened a jeweled cabinet. He pulled out a diamond… inside that diamond was a little Troll they use to know as a friend… a little Troll they betrayed. Floyd lay with the diamond, hugging his tiny knees to his chest. Velvets heart sank at the sight.

“Are…are you sure? He’s not looking to good Ven.”

Veneer eyes the diamond, he could care less. He wiggled it, shaking the Troll to his knees. “See he’s fine. He’s trying to play the part.” Veneer sneered at the Troll.

“You made your point. Please, stop doing this.” Floyd begged.

“I think I haven’t made my point clear yet.” Veneer took the diamon perfume bottle and spritzed himself…. An aura of pink hues radiating from him as the essence took effect. “There! Much better.”

“Ven… we’re killing him.” Velvet added, a look of concern on her face.

“Nothing more than he deserves!” Veneer yelled. “He was about to leave us Velvet! Abandon us. That whole “I’ll take care you guys” was nothing but a lie. Just so we wouldn’t give him to the market. He never cared for us, Vels!”

“That’s not true!” Floyd exclaimed.

“Shut it Troll!” Veneer tossed the diamond to his sister. “I’m done with your excuses. I’m the one taking care of us! Not you. Come on Velvet, we have a show to perform.” Veneer stayed staring at his sister, waiting for her to spray herself too.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to Floyd. Velvet took a spritz, the same light radiating from her like it did her brother. Floyd fell at the foot of the diamond, a sense of guilt running through Velvet. She looked at her brother… there was no sympathy in his eyes, just pure hatred for what the Troll did. Velvet was upset too, but this wasn’t right.

“There! All good.” Veneer chimed as he fixed his collar, looking at himself in the mirror.

“What are going to do if something happens to him?” Velvet asked.

“There’s plenty more where that came from. Now come on! Are fans are waiting.” He walked out the studio.

“That’s not what I meant…” she glanced down at Floyd who resumed position, hugging his knees. Velvet sighed, she took a moment before placing the diamond down and walking out.

Floyd didnt move. He hugged himself, tears stinging his eyes. He tried to allow himself to drift to sleep but he couldn’t, to many thoughts surrounded his head…. Suddenly he felt a small draft. Floyd looked up to see the cap to the diamon had been left slightly opened. How? Did Velvet do this on purpose? Did she leave it open? Floyd took the chance and ran out of the diamond prison.

A fist slammed on the desk. The twins had just finished their concert. Veneer felt they did well, but their manager wasn’t happy, Mistress was furious.

“Did we not sound good?” Veneer asked

“Guess who my Bergens found running around the studio while you two were up on stage?” Mistress casted Velvet a malicious look. The girl gulped…

“Uuuhh, a mouse?” Veneer asked, but he saw the look Mistress was giving his sister, a tension grew in his body.

SLAM!!

Mistress slammed the diamond on the desk, Floyd was back in it. He looked at Velvet with sorrowful eyes…. She tried…

“The Troll. The Troll got out big deal. You have him back.” Veneer said.

“He couldn’t have gotten out by himself. No one but a Rageon can open diamonds so easily…” Mistress slowly walked over to Velvet, “Am I right?”

Velvet glanced between Mistress and her brother, another lump forming in her throat, “…..It seems like he needs to breathe a bit…”

SMACK!!

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, Mistress struck her clear across the face, leaving a small gash on her check.

“HEY!” Veneer stood up quickly. Mistress lifted her eyebrow to him.

“Yes? Do have a problem?” She crossed her arms staring down at the boy.

“S-she said it looked like he needed air. She didn’t mean too. You have him back already.” Veneer stated not standing down.

“… Typical. She’s making you soft.” Mistress circled back to her desk, “This little accident better not happen again. AM I CLEAR!”

Velvet shook her head slowly, eyes glowed to the ground. “She won’t mess up again.” Veneer gave her a scowl, “Let’s go.” He stood up and waited for his sister to follow.

“Wait!” Mistress called out. “You girl, can leave. Veneer, a word.”

He narrowed his eyes at Velvet. See what you got us into, they seemed to say. Velvet winced and gave a small shrug. She left the office and headed towards her room, but instead decided to wait for her brother at the end of the hallway… she had to speak with him… she had to talk some sense into him.

“She was nervous. Next time I’ll make sure she does better.” Veneer stated as he remained back in the Mistresses office.

“Good. But I don’t want to talk about your idiotic sister.”

“Oh?”

“I want to talk about you.”

Veneer was silent… He was listening.

“What do you feel that you accomplished so far?” She asked him.

“Accomplished? Seriously? Everything!” He chimed as he draped his legs of the arm rest of the chair. “Not to brag, but I have people eating out of the palm of my hand.” He smirked.

“That you do. And do you ever feel, held back?” Mistress asked.

He arched an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Your sister, do you think she’s holding you back?”

Velvet screwed up a lot. She let her better nature take over sometimes, but never once though she held him back, “No. I don’t.”

“You’ve never thought about going solo? The people would love you, they already do.”

Solo? No, he’d never. It was always him and his sister, they were a pair, a duo….he could never. But, what happened if he ever did? The Mistress took his silence as an answer.

“Think about it. Think of what good it could do for you.” Mistress sat back on her chair and crossed her arms.

“….. I will.”

She waved him off. Velvet saw her brother come out of the office, “What did she want?”

“Nothing.” He lied.

“Vennie…”

“Not now, Vels!” He marched straight into his room. What did she say to him?

Mistress sat in her desk pondering about the events that happened.

“Gruff. Ruff!” She called out. The two Bergens enter the room, “Our girl here…” Mistress tapped the glass that contained the Troll . Floyd looked at her with a concern on his face. “She needs be kept an eye on. Do not leave her alone with the Troll, do not allow her ANY excuse. She’s beginning to be a problem…. She’s been making our boy to soft. Once the opportune moment comes…. I’m going to stage a little accident for her….” She picked up the diamond and stared at the Troll. “Say good bye to your little girl.”

[diamondtaem6v6]

✨SHINee for ELLE MEN / Elle Japan April issue

“We will keep on shining through the future”

Photoshoot and interview in collaboration with luxury jewelry brand “Boucheron”.

(All active members’ interviews included)

-KEY-

— Please tell us about the appeal of the Quatre Collection and your impression of the jewelry you wore.

Key: Actually, I have a Quatre ring. I wear it regularly when I go out to high-class restaurants, and I came across a Quatre while looking for a luxurious and classic ring. The bracelet I wore today was also very cute and impressive.

— What do you keep in mind while wearing a luxury jewel?

Key: It’s important to match yourself. Like today, it’s nice to have a mixed style that goes with your daily styling.

— Has the way you wear jewelry changed since your debut?

Key: What has changed is that now that I’m an adult, I can enjoy luxury brands like Boucheron! I think the one thing that hasn’t changed is that I enjoy mixing things with different tastes in my own way.

— What kind of place is Tokyo Dome for you?

Key: In the past, it used to be like an “unreachable future” for us. But thanks to our fans, the dome concerts were realized sooner than we expected. Even now, I will not forget how I felt at that moment and stand on stage again.

(Key’s comment on the jewelry)

“I also like the fact that the Quatre looks different depending on the color, such as the red one I wore today”.

- Bonus interview - (only in the website)

— How do you feel now that you have resumed group activities and completed the Japan tour with great success?

Key: Even before the end of COVID19, was always thinking than I wanted to work in Japan like I used to, and go around the country and perform live like everything is normal. Japanese fans kept asking me: “When will there be a Japan tour?” at online fansigns events, and each time I said “I want to do it too!”… But in the blink of an eye it was already over. Our long-awaited tour is reaching its final day. (laughs)

Oh, this was it after all. It’s been 5 years since the last tour and a lot has changed since then, so I was worried if they would come back (for the tour) again.

— So the Tokyo Dome performances were decided, also to eliminate these concerns

Key: I really appreciate it. I’m grateful. It’s been a long time since we’ve toured Japan, but when we did it... Nothing different from before. I think what has changed is that the members’ Japanese has become better (laughs). I’ve been performing in Japan for about 2 years, but at that time no one could scream because of the coronavirus pandemic. I was sad that there was only applauses, so I feel like I’m completely back on this tour.

— This time, the shoot was in collaboration with Boucheron jewelry. What does jewelry mean to you?

Key: In Korea, jewelry is always included on important events. When a child is born, when a couple gets married, how many days of a couple’s anniversary, etc. I have this image of jewelry being always by your side on important days.

It seems that junior groups often buy friendship items such as team jewelry with their members. I didn’t have that kind of culture at my time... Because each person has a different taste, right? But if I have a chance, I would like to try it in the future. I’d like a necklace or something that I can keep on wearing. However, it seems that it’s difficult for all the members to find something that they like (laughs).

- MINHO -

— Please tell us about the appeal of the Quatre Collection and your impression of the jewelry you wore.

Minho: Last year, SHINee celebrated the 15th anniversary in Korea. The 20 years Quatre Collection is more senior, but I felt a sense of unity that we have experienced the same number of years.

— How do you feel when you wear a luxury jewelry?

Minho: I’ve recently started to take an interest in jewelry, so I feel good when I wear it. I’m not sure if I’ve changed because I’ve grown up (laughs). In the future, I may be more attracted to gorgeous things like the ones I wore today.

— Has the way you wear jewelry changed since your debut?

Minho: I was in high school when I made my debut, so I think there were some things that didn’t suit me at the time. But now that I’m over 30 years old, I feel like the range of items I can wear, including clothes and jewelry, has expanded.

— Please tell us how you felt about resuming group activities in Japan last year after a long time.

Minho: I realized that I missed being on stage more than I had ever imagined. Seeing everyone’s faces and hearing their voices made me feel even more grateful.

(Minho’s comment on the jewelry)

“My favorite item is the black ring. It’s good since it has a casual feel without being too assertive”.

- Bonus interview - (only in the website)

— How was the first Japan tour after a long time?

Minho: I always have fond memories of the tours. For example, there were times when it was hot and cold, and there were times when we celebrated my birthday… So, when there were no concerts, I often caught myself thinking: “Oh, normally I would be touring in Japan this time…”. So when I performed for the first time in a long time, I felt a really big sense of gratitude for the fans. I was really happy to see that the whole venue was waiting for us.

— So what do you think about finishing the tour at Tokyo Dome?

Minho: After all, no matter how many times we experience it, Tokyo Dome is a dream stage for us. I’ll always remember when we always wanted to stand there on our own and worked hard to achieve it. It’s often said that there are feelings that only those who stand on the stage of the Tokyo Dome can understand, and I think it’s true.

— On the tour, all the members talk in Japanese during MCs. How do you study Japanese?

Minho: I watch a lot of Japanese animes, movies, and dramas, and I was able to improve my listening comprehension. The audio is Japanese and subtitles are Korean. The one I watched recently was “First Love” (Netflix series).

— You are also focusing on acting. Are there any roles you would like to try in the future?

Minho: I try not to say “I want to try this genre” because I feel like that would limit the possibilities. I think that if I told people “This is what I want to do”, other works won’t come at me. I’m looking forward to playing many different roles, so please look forward to it!

- TAEMIN -

— Please tell us about the appeal of the Quatre Collection and your impression of the jewelry you wore.

Taemin: It’s wonderful that the concept of Quatre is clearly visible in each of the items. I think it’s great that you can tell at a glance that it’s a Boucheron collection. I wanted to try them for important shoots or when wearing a suit.

— How was it to have a photoshoot wearing luxurious jewelry?

Taemin: I wanted to express the luxury and attitude of the brand in my own way, so I tried to be conscious of a cool and calm atmosphere instead of moving flashy.

— Has the way you wear jewelry changed since your debut?

Taemin: In the past, I didn’t wear jewelry at all because I felt that they didn’t look good on me, but now I enjoy wearing watches and necklaces. I feel that using them as a point, I can create a mature atmosphere.

— Please tell us how you felt about resuming group activities in Japan last year after a long time.

Taemin: It was a long awaited activity, and I want to take care of myself and run through to Tokyo Dome, the last concert of our tour. I would like to use my individual activities as a strength and do my best in group activities.

(Taemin’s comment on the jewelry)

“For stage costumes, I wear flashy accessories as much as I can, but I usually like to enjoy jewelry with basic designs in a point-like way, so I wore the same pair of earrings all the time. I don’t care about memorial days, I pick them up when I want a fashionable item.”

- Bonus interview - (only in the website)

— How was the first Japan tour after a long time?

Taemin: I was finally able to work again. I think the activities with SHINee have given me strength in my individual activities. I think we were able to work on the tour a little more relaxed than we did in the past. When I was practicing the first songs, I couldn’t remember the choreographies, so it was fun to get together with the members and remember them.

— The talk on MCs was done all in Japanese, right?

Taemin: This time, I stayed in Japan for a long time on tour, so I got used to Japanese a little... I’m still not good at it, but even for MC, I can now express myself in many ways in Japanese. I couldn’t come to Japan for a while, so I forgot about it. In the past, there should have been more words and expressions that I knew more... (laughs).

— I think Tokyo Dome is also a place of memories. Do you remember standing in the dome in the past?

Taemin: Yes, I do. When the dome was decided this time, I was reminded of the time when we had worked hard to prepare for it. Of course, the same enthusiasm from before is also felt this time, and I’m sure that the audience will come to see the dome with a special meaning. In terms of distance, it’s harder to see us in the dome than in the arena or hall. But the dome is special. After all, that scenery with the green fanlights is wonderful.

— After COVID19 ended, the life between Korea and Japan and many other countries began again. Did you discover anything new after staying in Japan for the first time in a long time?

Taemin: I feel that there are so many people who really love K-Pop. At the time of our debut, for example, we had no choice but to perform at the dome alone, but now we are in a situation where Korean awards are held at the Dome, which is a very strange feeling. I used to feel like I would come to Japan to meet my fans, but now I feel that the situation of Japanese fans who love K-Pop as a whole is different from the past. As a result, I would like to deepen my bond with the fans even more. I think we have gained so much popularity in Japan thanks to the influence of TVXQ and BoA, and I hope SHINee can contribute something to this new era.

“Our activities in Japan are even more fulfilling. We will continue to be a shining group.”

SHINee is holding their first Japan tour in about 5 years, and they’re working back and forth between Korea and Japan as before. They seem to enjoy their stay in Japan in their own style.

Key: Recently, I have been making restaurant reservations myself and enjoying delicious meals with my friends in Japan. Natural wine is popular here, just like in Korea. I’ve always liked convenience stores, so I’ll go there even just by myself. I love the Napolitan (Ketchup spaghetti) from Japanese convenience stores (laughs).

Minho: I also started to go out and enjoy my meals more slowly than before. Recently, it has become popular among Koreans to enjoy sushi and tempura at “omakase” restaurants, but when it comes to yakitori (chicken skewers), Japan is the best.

Regarding the changes from the past, Taemin said: “I feel that there are so many people that fell in love with K-Pop”.

SHINee has become a role model for the 5th generation of K-pop groups.

Key: Even when I was competing in MMA and other awards, I was surprised to see my juniors cheering me on. There was a time when BoA and other seniors were there, I think that we, who followed in the footsteps, are like a bridge allowing a connection with juniors. I feel that we should all protect K-Pop and work hard together.

Taemin: Instead of just creating contents to be consumed, we have performed in Japan many times in order to be loved by our fans, we’ve been working with the goal of creating bonds.

Minho: We were able to show that we could be active for a long time, so this may have had a good influence on our juniors.

Last year, they celebrated their 15th debut anniversary in Korea. They have been collecting light while overcoming barriers, and they will surely continue to shine even more brightly in the future, working hand in hand with their fans.

Minho: We would like to continue our activities as a group and show our diverse sides. Personally, I would like to take on the challenge of a variety of works as an actor.

Taemin: We want to continue to be loved as a team called SHINee. I want each member to take care of their health, achieve their own goals and succeed. So we can do more powerful activities when we get together as a group. I feel the happiest when I’m on the stage, so I’d like to do more solo tours with new concepts.

Key: 15 years is a long time, but I still have a lot of memories, and it feels like in the blink of an eye I’m already sitting here. I will continue to take care of my health and do my best in the work. I believe that this will naturally lead me to the next great work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Credits: Elle Japan

JPN - ENG Translation: @DiamondTaem

[theanticool]

Lately ive been seeing multiple top ten lists that squeeze in kamaru usman at number 9 or 10. Do you think this is a fair assessment or recency bias? I feel like having 2 of his title defenses against bum ass Masvidal kinda works against his legacy. Obviously usman is a much more complete well rounded fighter than izzy hut i think theres an argument to be made Izzy had a better level of competition. I wonder if one of Usmans victims (strickland) becoming mw champ is whats propelling him to top ten status since what seemed like a random win at the time is now aging extremely well

Yeah, sadly half of Usman’s titles wins (Colby 2, Masvidal 2, and Woodley) aged really poorly. TBF the Masvidal and Colby rematches were crap from the jump. Woodley went on to lose every round of MMA he fought after Usman and threw like 10 punches combined. I do think the first Masvidal and Colby wins (+Burns) are worth a lot but if we’re holding those up as Usman’s big career wins? How do they match up against the best wins of Fedor, Silva, GSP, Aldo, Holloway, Volk, DJ, Jones, DC, Lawler, Khabib, Alvarez, Poirier, TJ, Cruz, McGregor, Islam, Do Bronx, BJ, Edgar, Stipe, Whittaker, or Izzy (I’m leaving a lot of names out). I just don’t think the wins are there to be honest. I also don’t give Usman too much credit for his win over Strickland because this is the same guy who was losing to Zaleski dos Santos and Ponz at 170lbs. Good fighters but not on anyone’s top 30 greatest fighters in WW history. Sean’s best win at 170 is arguably Nordine Taleb.

The story of Usman’s title reign was one of rebirth and gridlock at welterweight imo. Lawler, Woodley, Condit, and Wonderboy were aging out. Hendricks ate his way out 170. Then you had guys like Usman and Colby coming up on the old guard (Maia, Woodley, RDA) while Masvidal just so happened to get hot at the right moment off beating a guy who had heat but wasn’t as good as we thought (Till) and a loudmouth meme generator with a nonfunctional hip (Askren).

But guys like Leon, Belal, and - to a lesser extent - Rakhmonov, Chimaev, etc were kind of left on the outside looking in. Once Colby and Masvidal established themselves as contenders and stars(?), they did not interact with anyone else again. For as good as they had been on the rise, I’d argue neither Colby or Masvidal ever solidified themselves in real Max Holloway/Robert Whittaker “I’m going to be at worst the #3 fighter in this division for a long time” way. And it’s still a thing we are dealing with years later. It took Leon and Belal like 10 fights with no losses to get a title fight. And Belal only just got his this year! That’s insane. He came up at the same time as Colby and Usman! With no immediate stars at 170, we’re probably back to guys getting to mix it up across the rankings so I’m happy the division is finally out of gridlock. The logjam seems to have passed.

Another knock against Usman is he hasn’t really had anything to show in his post-prime. When Aldo, Holloway, and Whittaker, for example, lost their titles? They proceeded to come back and just start picking off contenders. Taking big fight after big fight. To his credit, I thought Usman looked good in his fight with Chimaev for the circumstances he found himself in. I think he might still have some gas in the tank. A couple big name wins would really boost his resume.

But ultimately? ATG list are subjective. I don’t think the welterweight division has gotten significantly better since the days of GSP like some of these other divisions have, but that’s my opinion. I do think you’re correct about recency bias though. A lot of modern MMA fans don’t actually know anything about the sport pre-2019 though

[pollenallergie]

The Dunes | e.m.

A/N: Reposting this because I tweaked the ending a lil bit... hehe. Also, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” didn’t come out until 1979, so (realistically), you and Eddie would’ve been almost in high school by the time it came out and, therefore, would not have spent your whole childhood singing along to it. However, it’s my (midwestern) family’s road-trip anthem so I had to include it. Thank you @chainsawmunson for beta-reading this!!! Ily <3

Word Count: 6.0k

CW: Adult themes (cursing, smoking weed, etc.; however, nothing smutty happens nor is anything smutty discussed beyond a brief, undetailed mention! I tried to make this as ace friendly as possible, but please let me know if there's something I can do better next time, in that regard!!).

18+ only!!

mdni

“It’s this exit, right, bunny?” Eddie asks.

“Um,” you pause to look down at the map and then up at the road signs ahead. “Yeah, this one,” you confirm. 

Eddie merges into the correct lane as he resumes his solo performance of Creeping Death, strumming his calloused thumbs along the worn leather of the steering wheel like it’s the strings of his beloved guitar. 

“How close are we now, bug?” Eddie asks. 

You check the map before replying, “54-ish miles.” 

Eddie huffs out a brief chuckle, “Ish?” 

“Yeah, it could be 53 or 54, but it’s definitely not more than 55,” you explain while grinning cheekily. 

“Dude, you’re a horrible navigator,” Eddie teases. 

“Hey, I told you we should’ve brought the guys with us,” you say defensively, though there’s no real bite behind your words. 

“This is probably gonna be our last vacation together, bug, so excuse me for wanting to spend some one-on-one time with my favorite person in all of Indiana,” Eddie remarks dryly. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize Roxanne had finally moved to Chicago,” you tease, referencing the bartender from the Hideout that you suspect he’s had the hots for since Corroded Coffin first started playing there last fall. Not that you’d blame him for being attracted to her; she’s everyone’s type. Roxy may very well be ten years your senior, but she looks like she hopped straight out of the pages of one of Eddie’s Heavy Metal magazines; as a bottle blonde with tan skin, long, slender legs, heaving breasts, and an affinity for red leather, she’s the very definition of the beauty standard.

Eddie rolls his eyes and reaches across the console to gently shove your shoulder as he grumbles, “Shut up.” 

You giggle at his response, but the joyous sound dies in your throat when you remember something Eddie had said previously. 

“Grub, why would this be our last vacation together?” You ask curiously. 

“Because, Jitterbug,” he sighs before continuing, “in a couple of weeks, you’ll be off in Michigan, meeting all sorts of cool people who are into all the same stuff as you, and you’ll forget all about little ole me,” Eddie explains, feigning lightheartedness as he does so. 

“Eddie-” You begin to refute his assumptions, but he soon interrupts. 

“Bunny, it’s fine, really. I mean, we always knew this was gonna happen; you’d go off to some amazing university after high school, and, for one reason or another, I’d have to stay behind in Hawkins. I just wanna soak up the last little bit of time we have together, okay?” 

“Eddie,” you sigh, moving your hand to rest on Eddie’s thigh, only to immediately remove it when you feel his muscles tense underneath your palm. “Eddie,” you start again, this time without the physical contact, “you’re an idiot if you think that moving a couple hundred miles away is really gonna be enough to make me forget about you. Seriously, I can’t even go a week without talking to you. What do you think I’ve been saving up all that change in my piggy bank for? It’s so I have enough quarters to call your dumbass while I’m away at school,” you reassure him while also teasing him a bit to lighten the mood. 

“And here I thought you were saving up to win me that stuffed elephant from the claw machine at Benny’s,” Eddie jests, and you snort at the thought. 

“That thing’s been in there since we were ten, otter. I don’t think winning it is even possible,” You reply. Eddie’s heart flutters fondly at your childhood petname for him, one that even predates Grub, inspired by the time you’d watched a seven-year-old Eddie consume a dozen Otterpops one hot July afternoon.

Eddie grins, “Maybe not for you; you suck at claw machines.”

You scoff, “Dick.” 

“I know you are, but what am I?” Eddie responds immaturely while the both of you fight off matching amused smirks. 

Eddie covertly glances at you out of the corner of his eyes, a bittersweet feeling stirring in his chest. He misses you already, and you haven’t even left yet. Pathetic, he thinks. 

Soon enough, the next track on Eddie’s road trip mixtape begins to play, and a grin lights up your features as the sound of Charlie Daniels’s voice fills the entire van. 

Eddie begins to sing along to The Devil Went Down to Georgia, the song the two of you had spent the better half of your childhoods singing along to, thanks to Wayne. And just like that, any and all thoughts of your impending departure are gone. 

Just a little under an hour later, the two of you arrive at Dunewood. After an essential stop at the campground’s convenience store for some ice cream sandwiches, you’re ready to set up camp. You and Eddie have come here every summer since you were small, but it’s different this time. This time, it’s just you and Eddie, as Wayne couldn’t come along due to a busy schedule at work. Getting up here was quite a feat given that Beverly Shores is quite a ways away from Hawkins and that, between the two of you, you guys have absolutely zero sense of direction once you get out of Hawkins. However, unpacking your equipment and setting up camp should be a breeze, as you both have prior experience with setting all of this crap up, thanks to the fact that Wayne always made the two of you help him set up camp. 

Although, what should be the case and what actually is the case, apparently, aren’t always aligned. 

“Dude, are you helping me or what?” You huff out frustratedly as you attempt to haul the packed-away tent out of the back of Eddie’s van on your own. Meanwhile, your less-than-helpful best friend is reclining in the front seat, still munching away on his melting ice cream sandwich. The sticky sweet ice cream is dripping down onto his beloved Black Sabbath band tee, making a mess in a way that might be goofily adorable if he were a toddler, but, alas, he’s a man, a messy man, but a man nonetheless. 

“Mhm, yeah, I’ll be there in a second,” he replies nonchalantly before turning up the radio’s volume as if attempting to drown out the sounds of your complaining with Rob Halford’s eerie growls. He begins to headbang to the rowdy music, further solidifying that he will not get out of the van to help you anytime soon. 

You groan exasperatedly as you lug the heavy tent closer to the stone fire pit while managing to keep it a reasonable distance from where a hearty fire will rage on later in the night. As you squat down to unzip the bag the tent is kept in for storage, you unknowingly bless your dear best friend with a marvelous view of your denim-clad ass, the fat there causing the fabric to strain to the point where it looks as if your favorite pair of jean shorts may rip right along the tight seam. 

As he finishes off the last of his ice cream sandwich, Eddie resists the urge to continue ogling you, instead averting his gaze and opting to focus all of his attention on staring aimlessly out the windshield of his van while thinking about truly horrid shit in an attempt to prevent a tent of his own from forming in his jeans. Fortunately, that tried and true strategy never fails him. Unfortunately, it does require him to think about the time he had to dissect a fetal pig in junior-year biology; if Eddie thinks about it for too long, he swears he can still smell the formaldehyde along with the scent of his lab partner’s raging B.O. 

Once Eddie’s reigned his inner horndog back in, he turns the key in the van’s ignition, fully turning off the vehicle, before climbing out of the driver’s seat to finally offer you some help with setting up camp. 

“Alright, alright,” Eddie huffs humorously, “Give that to me before you break it,” he teases, referring to the poles of the tent that you’re trying to snap together. You briefly pause your attempts to glare at him. 

“I’m not gonna break it, asshole,” you reply bitterly before finally managing to snap the pieces together. Once you do so, you look up at Eddie and fix him with a victorious grin. 

“Why don’t you start the fire so we can eat dinner when we finish setting up all this stuff?” You suggest before fixing your friend with a mischievous smile and continuing, “Leave the hard stuff to the men, sugar.” 

Eddie scoffs at your teasing but heeds your request nonetheless, going to fetch the firewood your dad had reluctantly given him, some logs cut from the unfortunate trees that weren’t good enough to sell at the farm this past Christmas season. 

“Leave the hard stuff to the men, sugar,” he mumbles in a silly tone, clearly mocking you as he grabs a couple of logs from the van, causing you to cackle. Eddie scowls and blushes, mildly embarrassed as he wasn’t aware that you could hear his mockery from your spot across the campsite. The expression on his face only makes you laugh harder, and you don’t stop until Eddie gets petulant and throws one of the towels he’d brought for the beach at you. 

After that playful spat, you both fall into a comfortable silence, too concentrated on your respective tasks to hold a conversation with each other. It isn’t until Eddie has successfully set up the fire and starts getting the food you’d both prepared ahead of time out that either one of you speaks again.

“Hey, Grub?” You call out to him from your spot near the still partially unassembled tent. Eddie responds with a soft hum as he continues to rifle through the cooler he’d filled with food and drinks. 

“Don’t put the food on yet. The tent’s still not ready yet,” you inform him. 

Eddie then shuts the cooler with an annoyed huff, leaving the food inside the chilled box as he comes over to join you. 

“It would be if you would’ve just let me take care of it,” he nags as he squats down to help you finish setting up the tent. 

You scoff, “Yeah, right, it would’ve taken you twice the amount of time just to figure out how to put this shit together simply because you refuse to read instruction manuals.” 

“Incorrect,” Eddie defends himself, “it would’ve taken me half the time to put this shit together because I wouldn’t have wasted so much time reading the pointless instructions.” 

“Says the man who just put our rainfly on before the tent body,” you tease as you stand up and strip the bright blue fabric off the tent. 

“Does it really matter what order we put this shit on? I mean, so long as it’s on there, we’re good, right?” Eddie asks, standing up with his hands on his hips as he assesses the situation, discerning what’s left to do. The shit-eating grin on his face tells you he’s not being serious and is just trying to rile you up by being intentionally obtuse. So, rather than dignify his question with an answer, you simply fix him with an annoyed glare and then attempt to put the tent body on by yourself. Eddie chuckles at your terse expression as he begins to help you. 

Finally, a few moments later, the two of you have set up your tent, leaving you to put your sleeping bags and pillows inside and set up the chairs near the fire as Eddie gets to work on cooking up a couple of foil burgers over the fire; a Munson family recipe and camping essential that’s really nothing more than a beef patty resting on top of a bed of potatoes and a few veggies inside a tinfoil cocoon. 

You still remember the first time you’d had such a delicacy during your first camping trip with the Munsons. You were absolutely ravenous, having just got back to camp with Wayne and Eddie after spending all day at the beach, your hair still wet from swimming around in the chilly waters of Lake Michigan and the baby tooth you’d lost while wrestling around in the sand with Eddie nestled in the patch pocket of Wayne’s flannel. As a result of your profound hunger, the easy dinner Wayne had prepared for the three of you tasted like the single greatest thing you’d ever eaten in all your eight years of life. Although, even now, when you finally bite into your burger after Eddie gets done making them, hungry but not at all starving thanks to the sweet treat you’d wolfed down earlier, that simple dish still tastes like one of the most delicious things you’ve ever eaten, the gooey cheese coating your tongue as you munch away happily. 

As for Eddie, he seems to agree about the delectableness of the foil burgers if the moan he emits as he bites into his burger is any indication. You giggle at the sound, feeling your cheeks heat up all the while. Always so dramatic, you think fondly. 

“We’ve really outdone ourselves this time, bug,” Eddie declares. You hum your agreement as you bite into a crispy chunk of potato. 

“The dried rosemary was a good touch. Where’d you get that anyways?” You ask him once you’ve swallowed your bite of starchy goodness. 

He grins around his mouthful of food, “Stole a jar of it from the pantry at Gareth’s place after I got done fixin’ the kitchen sink for his mom yesterday.” 

“Eddie!” You scold him. 

“What? I’ll bring it back Saturday when we have band practice. Lorraine’ll never even know it was missing,” he reasons. 

You simply shake your head at him disapprovingly while trying to fight off an amused smile, “You’ve gotta get those sticky fingers in check, Grub.” 

Later in the night, as you both lounge in your tent, sharing a joint to help you relax before you go to sleep, your mind races with fretful thoughts about going to college in a few weeks. 

“Eds,” you softly call out from just beside him, your head resting on his shoulder and his on yours as you lay with your bodies extended in opposite directions. 

“Yeah, bug?”

“No one’s ever- I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” you confess, your inhibitions lowered as the high sets in. 

Eddie snorts a laugh, amused by your randomness rather than your inexperience, “Yeah, I know, Jitterbug.” 

“What if I meet someone at school, and they kiss me?” You worry aloud. Eddie’s chest tightens at the thought, but he does his best to ignore it. 

“Then you’ll have your first kiss, duh,” he remarks simply as if the mere thought of you kissing someone - anyone - but him doesn’t make him want to cry and hurl simultaneously. 

“Yeah, I know, but what if it’s bad because… because I don’t know what I’m doing?” You ask, after rolling over to look into his doe eyes, your face hovering above his as your arms hold you up above him. Your breath smells like Kraft singles and Skunk #1, but Eddie can’t find it in himself to care; he’s just happy to have you so close to him. 

“First kisses are usually bad, silly billy,” Eddie giggles, the powers of the Dutch strain making him giddy even though his heart is aching just from hearing you talk about this shit. 

“But I don’t want mine to be bad,” you reply, your tone bordering on petulant as your brows furrow and your lips pout just slightly, “what if the guy I’m with gets weirded out by how bad I am at it and like never speaks to me ever again?” 

“Then that’s his loss, Jitterbug,” Eddie says without missing a beat. 

You sigh and sit up, shoulders hunching in slightly as you pout. 

“God, what if he does the opposite and tries to, you know, touch me?” You ponder, unintentionally breaking your best friend’s heart. Eddie’s sure that the knowledge of anyone but him touching you like that would devastate him.

“If- if that’s not something you’d be comfortable with, then just tell him,” he reasons. 

“But what if he doesn’t listen to me? My sister says that sometimes guys don’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” you reply, and Eddie’s jaw clenches at the thought. 

“Then I’ll kill him,” Eddie replies genuinely, causing you to burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Grub, you can’t even kill the spider that’s been camped out in your room for the past two weeks,” you tease, and Eddie frowns in response.

“That’s different. Guillermo and I have come to a mutual understanding, he kills the flies, and I don’t kill him,” Eddie replies defensively, and your giggles increase tenfold upon finding out that he’s named the damn thing. 

“You’re adorable, Eddie Bear,” You remark once your giggles have ceased. As you wipe the tears of amusement out of your eyes, you miss the blush that rises to Eddie’s cheeks. 

“Shut up,” he grumbles as he hands you the joint. You accept it gracefully as you take a hit, exhale, and then take another. Meanwhile, Eddie’s mesmerized by the sight of your lips wrapping around the joint, as if it’s a sight he hasn’t seen hundreds of times already. He’s immediately snapped out of his trance when you hand the joint back to him, your fingers brushing against his as you hand it over, still holding in the last puff you’ve taken. 

As you finally exhale your last hit, a brilliant idea comes to mind, or at least one that seems clever in your current state. 

“You should be my first kiss,” you suggest, making Eddie choke on the puff of smoke he’s just inhaled. 

“What? Me?” Eddie asks incredulously in between bouts of coughing. 

“Yeah, if you’re cool with it,” you respond nonchalantly as you grab the joint from him. 

“No, no, no, I think you’ve had enough for tonight, space cadet,” Eddie remarks as he plucks the joint from between your fingertips. 

“How do you feel, bug?” Eddie had asked you the first time you got high. 

“‘M so high, I think I could touch the stars up here,” you’d groaned, making Eddie chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, space cadet, I’ll be your ground control,” he’d reassured you. 

You whine, “Eddie, I’m not even that high.” 

“Of course, you’re not,” Eddie replies sarcastically as he stubs out the joint, opting to save the rest for tomorrow morning. 

“Eddie, it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you say as you timidly pick at the loose threads of your sleeping bag, “kiss me, I mean. It’s okay if you don’t wanna kiss me,” you clarify. 

Eddie sighs, knowing you’re not gonna let this go very easily. His mind races with thoughts of you kissing him, and his heart lurches at the idea that you’d even want to kiss him, but he also knows it’s too good to be true. You don’t actually want this, at least not with him; you’re just high and lonely. You’re too amazing and angelic; you could never want a freak like him, not in the same way he wants you. 

“How about you ask me again in the morning, okay?” Eddie offers placatingly as he climbs into his sleeping bag, saying anything he can to get you to drop this, to stop torturing him. 

Eddie’s not leaving any room for argument as he rolls over to face the opposite direction before shutting off the lantern. You sigh before climbing into your own sleeping bag and getting comfy. 

“Goodnight, Eddie,” you whisper tentatively, worrying that you’ve upset him. 

“Goodnight, bunny.” 

The following day is awkward, to say the least. The fresh air the wooded campground provides is nice, or it would be if it wasn’t filled with unbearable tension thanks to last night’s events. 

Eddie won’t even look at you, hasn’t spared you so much as a single glance since the two of you first woke up at around 9 a.m., nearly two hours ago. Granted, he’s not being outwardly hostile or anything like that. Instead, Eddie just won’t look at you, won’t speak to you in more than short sentences and noncommittal hums, and hasn’t touched you at all since last night when his fingers brushed yours as you exchanged the shared joint repeatedly. Usually, he would’ve talked your ear off about some new music by now, most likely the new Metallica album, or even about the latest drama plaguing the Hellfire club; surprisingly, a lot of juicy gossip comes out of that group. If the present circumstances were normal, Eddie also would’ve definitely exploited the many unintentional openings you’d given him this morning by tackling you to the ground or putting you in a half-nelson by now. However, he hasn’t done either of those things and, if his tense body language is anything to go off of, you figure he probably won’t be doing any of those things any time soon. How strange is it that you’ve begun to miss how Eddie playfully wrestles with and pesters you? How pathetic is it that you’ve started to yearn for how he carelessly flings you around like a ragdoll in an ornery display of his shocking strength?

“What time are we heading to the beach?” You ask meekly as you continue to pick at the Zingers Eddie had gotten you from the campground’s convenience store earlier this morning. At least he’d still gone out of his way to get your favorite breakfast-adjacent junk food. That had to be a good sign, right? 

“Dunno,” he replies gruffly and then shrugs his shoulders as he takes another puff of his cigarette, his gaze still fixed on the sparse grass beneath his Reeboks. 

“Maybe we could head out there in like an hour?” You suggest, your tone still timid and unsure, “That way, we could grab lunch on the way there. I just- I don’t think three Zingers will hold me over for the rest of the day. Not that I don’t appreciate that you got them for me, because I do! It’s just-”

Eddie cuts you off with another short, gruff response, “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

You frown at his dismissive tone. Had you really pushed things too far last night? Was the idea of kissing you so bad that even the mere suggestion of it had gotten Eddie this upset? 

When you first woke up this morning, you were mortified by the memory of what you’d said to your friend last night. Now, his sudden indifference toward you only amplifies that feeling of humiliation. 

This is only day two of what’s supposed to be a week-long trip, and you’re not sure if you can survive several more days of this trip, not if things will continue being this tense between you and Eddie. So, you decide to repress your shame in favor of making peace. After all, only a couple weeks after you get home from this trip, your dad will drive you up to Ann Arbor to move into your new dorm room for your first semester at college. You’re unsure if your friendship with Eddie could survive the distance, not with this lingering hostility creating such a harsh divide between you two. 

“Look, Eds,” you sigh, swallowing down what’s left of your pride as you prepare to grovel, to plead for your friendship to remain unchanged after last night’s blunder, “I’m sorry about last night, about asking you to… to kiss me. I mean- fuck- Grub, I’m really sorry for bringing it up and making shit weird between us. I promise I’m not, like, harboring some freakish little crush on you or anything like that. I just- I wanted you to be my first kiss because,” you pause with a quivering sigh, thinking better of your impending confession, “You know what? That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that I’m sorry, really fucking sorry, and I just wanna go back to the way things were before I said any of that stupid crap, okay? I just wanna enjoy our trip. I wanna have fun doing moronic bullshit in the woods with my best friend, the same way we always do every summer. Do you think we can do that? That we can just go back to the way things were? Please?”

Eddie sighs, dragging the palm of his hand harshly down his face until it reaches his jaw, where it then remains, kneading the muscles there as if to relieve the tension. His soulful brown eyes flicker up to meet yours just briefly before his gaze falls back to the ground. He finally breaks the silence, quietly asking, “Why me? Why d’ya wanna kiss me?” 

The question catches you off guard, so much so that you almost think you’d misheard him when he asked it. You can only think to reply with a surprised, breathy, “What?”

“Why did you want to kiss me, bug?” Eddie reiterates.

Your brows furrow, your nose scrunching up as you ponder and carefully plan your reply, not wanting to give too much away, wanting to keep your cards clutched close to your chest. You finally come up with an honest response and, most importantly, one that omits some of the more embarrassing details. You tug on the inside of your lower lip with your teeth, wriggling the flesh between your incisors, working up the courage to answer his question before sighing and eventually replying, “Because I trust you, Eddie. Because I know you won’t take things too far or do anything to make me uncomfortable.”

Eddie’s leg bounces as he considers your answer. “That’s all?” He asks suddenly, once again catching you off guard. 

“Wha- What d’you mean?” You curiously inquire, wearing your confusion plainly on your features. 

“That’s it? That’s the only reason why?” Eddie questions, his gaze intense, alight with an emotion you can’t place.

“I mean,” you trail off, your leg bouncing in tandem with Eddie’s, though not intentionally. “Yeah, kind of,” you lie. 

Unfortunately, Eddie still doesn’t look entirely convinced, and that makes you nervous. You huff out frustratedly, wringing your hands together and carefully thinking over your words before speaking. 

“Grub, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve never once in my whole life kissed someone, so, yeah, at this point, I’m pretty fucking desperate. Hell, I think I’d kiss just about anyone,” you ramble, slightly exasperated. 

I think I’d kiss just about anyone. 

You don’t mean it as an insult, you don’t mean to hurt Eddie’s feelings, he knows you don’t, but it still stings something fierce. 

“Look, Eds, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, so if you’re not-”

Eddie interrupts you, not that he’s truly listening to how you’re trying, in vain, to walk back your previous statements anyways. No, Eddie’s too busy thinking about if he is actually going to go through with this. He bluntly asks, “Just one kiss?” 

Those three words halt you in your tracks, making your breath hitch. You miraculously manage to collect yourself and come up with a coherent response. 

“Yeah,” you reply in a tone that’s gentle and airy, soft and breathy like a sigh, “just one.” 

“I’ll do it,” Eddie swiftly asserts, taking you both by surprise. “I mean, um, I’ll- I’ll help you, but you gotta promise me something first, ’kay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, anything, Grub, of course,” you agree far too eagerly, making a swirling mass of embarrassment sink down heavily into the pit of your stomach. All the while, your voice is still soft and quiet, nothing more than a susurration.

“You gotta promise me you won’t let this change things between us, bug. Okay? I can’t lose-” Eddie cuts himself off with a shaky, anxious exhale, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as he attempts to reign in his emotions. He wants to tell you that if he ever lost you again, like he did in the summer of 1980, he wouldn’t be able to survive it; Eddie’s not really sure how he survived it last time. However, Eddie’s too afraid to tell you that, too scared of what that implies, and infinitely more scared of how you’d react to that implication. So, he drops his hands from his face, opting to pick at his nail beds to keep his fidgety fingers busy, as he continues, “I’m just helping you out, alright? So, just- You gotta promise that you won’t start acting all weird around me or, um, start avoiding me again, or whatever.” 

You frown at the sentiment, briefly looking back on those two years you’d spent without Eddie in high school. You were an idiot back then, avoiding the one person, the only one of your peers, who’d ever shown you genuine kindness, just because he’d gotten a little mean and said some things that had hurt your feelings during a heated exchange, what’s worse is they were things you’d desperately needed to hear. You gently shake your head as if to rid yourself of any and all memories of that lonely time in your life before looking into Eddie’s eyes and earnestly swearing, “I won’t, Grub. Nothing will change between us, I promise.” 

Things truly won’t change between the two of you; you’ll make sure of that. Eddie will never find out about the love you pathetically harbor for him, and, most importantly, you’ll never shut him out again. Even when he settles down one day with someone who isn’t you, maybe marries them and has a couple kids with them, you’ll still be his best friend, no matter how much it hurts, and you’ll make damn sure that Eddie never finds out how much it hurts you. 

Eddie can hear the unwavering sincerity in your voice, can see it in your gaze, and it makes him smile softly, a warm expression you cannot help but reciprocate. 

“Okay,” he breathes, his tone wavering as he rubs his sweaty palms on the rough denim of his jeans. “Just, um, c’mere… If you want to, I mean,” he stammers awkwardly. You’d probably chuckle at his apparent nervousness if you weren’t feeling the same way right now. Instead, you simply get up out of your lawn chair, rise to your feet, and trek across the short distance between the two of you. You then lower yourself to sit down in the grass in front of Eddie, who promptly lowers his legs, his knees no longer tucked up against his chest as he now sits tailorwise, or criss-cross-applesauce, as you both call it. You sit in the same position, your knees pressed against his own as you mirror him. 

Eddie tentatively leans forward, bridging the gap between you two, as one of his large, warm hands rises to hover over one of your shoulders for a brief moment before he finally gets the courage to lower it so that it rests there. With his other hand, he takes a much bolder step, lifting his arm and hesitantly reaching up to brush his calloused fingertips against the soft, smooth skin of your cheek before finally cupping it in his palm. 

“Is this okay?” He asks you quietly, like he’s afraid that speaking more loudly than a mere whisper will frighten you and scare you off. You nod your affirmative as your hands slowly move forward to rest on his denim-clad thighs, just above his knees. That contact makes Eddie’s breath hitch, but you both elect to ignore it for reasons unbeknownst to each other. 

Eddie then leans in further, his bulbous nose gently brushing against yours with purpose, effectively warning you and giving you a chance to stop him. However, you do the opposite. “Eds, please, kiss me,” you whisper. 

It’s all the encouragement Eddie needs. He closes the gap between the two of you, his lips finally meeting yours. You try to reciprocate as best as you can, but you’re, admittedly, a little lost. You’re overthinking things, Eddie can tell. He pulls away far sooner than he would’ve liked to and then presses a comforting kiss to the corner of your mouth, by one of your smile lines that he loves so much. 

“I wasn’t good, was I?” You grimace, your forehead still resting against his. “Please, you can tell me. I just wanna know what to do, Ott.” 

Eddie licks his lips before hesitantly replying, “When you, um,” he clears his throat, “the next time that you kiss someone, try not to purse your lips so much,” he winces, both at the thought of you kissing someone else and out of fear that he’s been too harsh. 

“I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do when you kiss someone?” Eddie thinks your puzzled expression is far too adorable to be legal. 

“You are! You are, a little bit, I mean. Just not quite so much; you gotta relax your um- your mouth a little bit,” Eddie blushes, thoroughly flustered. As usual, you’re oblivious to his plight, too caught up in your own mind. 

Your brows furrow as you stare at his chin absentmindedly, mind racing a million miles an hour all the while, “S-so how much should I purse them then?” 

Eddie thinks it over. “It’s hard to explain,” he sighs. 

“Could you, you know, show me?” You ask. “I mean, if you’re comfortable kissing me again.” 

Little do you know, Eddie would gladly give up both of his kidneys if it meant he got to kiss you again. Needless to say, he’s pretty stoked that he gets to do it without having to endure a double nephrectomy. 

He nods, answering wordlessly, before leaning in again, connecting your lips once more. You make sure to pay attention to what he’s doing, to how it feels, so you can mirror it. You relax your mouth a bit, your lips not quite as pursed as before, and Eddie sighs his approval. That sound sets your whole body alight with tingly, little fireworks.

You both get caught up in the moment, in the feeling of finally acting on the desires you’ve both spent years repressing. Consequently, when Eddie nips at your bottom lip, and you respond with a gasp that he can only describe as sinful, he doesn’t even try to resist the urge to take advantage of the momentary part in your lips. You pull back abruptly, primarily out of shock, when you feel his tongue slip through the gap. Eddie winces at the loss. 

“Shit, sorry,” he apologies gruffly, comfortingly rubbing your upper arms on instinct, soothing you. 

You let out an easy, breathy giggle as you ease back into his space, resting your forehead gently against his own. “It’s okay. You surprised me, that’s all. Just, um, warn me next time, okay?” 

Warmth blossoms in both of your chests at the thought of getting to kiss each other again. Eddie lets out a gentle chuckle of his own as he moves his other hand up to cup your other cheek, feeling the warmth alight beneath the soft skin there too.

“Next time?” Eddie questions with a nervous grin, mentally berating himself for daring to question you because, in his eyes, you’re practically offering your lips up to him on a silver platter, and he’s about to make you second guess that monumental decision. 

“Yeah,” you let out the prettiest little sigh, “I feel like I have a lot left to learn, and, well, you seem like a pretty good teacher. I mean, if you don’t mind kissing me again, that is,” you look into his eyes hopefully. Eddie feels his smile grow wider at the sight of your sanguine expression. 

Eddie offers his whispered reassurance while gently nudging the tip of your nose with his own, “I don’t mind.” 

Needless to say, you two won’t make it to the beach today.

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Side Note: Please don't feel like you're weird if you're older than 18 and still haven't had your first kiss yet!! I literally haven’t had my first kiss yet and I’m 21 years old. We all do things at our own pace and in our own time, so, trust me, you're not weird at all if you're an adult (of any age) who hasn't been kissed yet!!

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[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 274,

Morning thought: If Cass handles late nights anything like I do, I worry the thing that will give her away is being tired the next morning.  Good thing I impressed on her that she needs to stop sneaking out at night.  Okay, “impressed on her” might be optimistic, but if I can talk James into letting her resume her apprenticeship when classes start next week then she shouldn’t have a reason to.

*******

Just finished talking with James.  Looks like we should be good to go when school starts back up.  To my surprise, James both admitted to the current keeping her at home as being a punishment and to feeling guilty about dragging it on so long.  The subject of whether or not I was a bad influence was avoided.  In that same spirit of burying disagreement and moving on, I’ll refrain from too much of a rant here on my personal opinions of his decisions.

So, good for Cass being able to resume training for an occupation contributing to the Village (although I half suspect that James is low-key hoping she’ll get bored with this and find something else), and good for me for having an assistant again.  I’ve been afraid to admit it, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle a schoolroom full of children again without help.  I mean, sure, the past archivists probably did it just fine, as did teachers in the world of my past life, but I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie by now.

Shifting focus from the future to the past, as I mentioned earlier, Cass did in fact show up last night.  She was pretty proud of the work she’d done with the syllabic breakdown on the cathedral chant, and rightly so.  Sadly, my counterpart “homework” of word length analysis of Iole’s book was not nearly so complete nor thorough for us to run a comparison.  I’ll try to do more of that over the next few days.

That said, it made for a convenient excuse to do a test run of the story for the equinox.  Not that I needed an excuse or justification, but having one makes me feel better.  At any rate, Cass was less disappointed by the change in plans than I feared.  If anything, she seemed eager, although whether that was eager to hear the story or eager to pick it apart for (constructive) criticism I’m not sure.

And there were certainly very fair criticisms to be had.  As I feared, some parts didn’t translate well from written to spoken, particularly the back and forth dialogues between the princess and the sword.  And while that issue in particular might be alleviated by having a secondary teller like Cass and I have experimented with in the past, if James isn’t expecting her to see me again until the Equinox, that doesn’t work out so well.  And then there’s an argument to be made that a single teller doing both parts is more appropriate thematically anyway.  

Of course, there were other issues to be addressed as well.  Structure, pacing, clear conveyance of theme, etc.  We spent what time we had discussing all of it and I’ve got notes in my other notebook for it.  I'll be taking that feedback into account when I do my next test run with Vernon this evening.  Speaking of which, I should probably wrap this up so I can get some actual work done before then.  And maybe tidy up a bit.  He’ll be coming over here and I’ll be the one providing dinner for once.  Not that I have anything to cook with, but most of the food I get in payment for archival services either doesn’t need it or is cooked already.

*******

That went well.  He liked it, which is nice.  Actually had to push a bit to get any criticism (constructive or otherwise) out of him.  I think I’m going to be up for a while longer yet, writing down some more notes on what we talked about (in the work notebook).

<==Previous          Next==>

[gobbluthbutagirl]

the thing is, IF the job market in LA is really as bad as they say it is, which i mean it would make sense that it is due to the you know entertainment industry people being out of work in the aftermath of the strikes and increased fast food minimum wage that fast food companies are #MadAsHell about and all of that, then like…to me that would indicate i should be like Extra Selective about what jobs i apply for because that just means it’ll be even harder to change jobs if/when i were to need to do that in the near future. like, less “i need a job, any job” and more “i need a job that i can see myself working for at least the next year or so.” and also like, no taking a part time job wanting to find another part time job, because until you actually HAVE the second part time job the first one means nothing if it doesn’t give you enough hours to pay rent. so it also would not make sense for me to take a job that can’t give me like, absolute minimum 35 hours a week consistently.

and of course, like, ghost jobs/job postings that are posted to make it LOOK like they’re hiring, or job postings that have been filled but have not been taken down, etc. and i have that big ass gap on my resume too which obviously is not optimal. it’s all just kind of ehhhh whatever. like IF one of these jobs wants to hire me, and they can give me the hours i would need, ok great. if not, like, whatever. i could definitely get hired at my brother’s dunkin especially because now the college students are back so it’s Busy Season. i could do that for a few months and then like honestly… i would looooove to do a Coolworks type job or two. and then maybe the job market in LA is better. or maybe i just hop around for a while doing that kind of stuff and saving money. but i’d rather be[deep sigh] employed in south carolina in october than unemployed in california in october. because one of those is free and i’m making money and the other is well not free and i’m losing it

[thoughtssssssssssss]

I feel like I have no place to complain. These people are working their ass off even with their bigger roles. Speaking out for themselves, audition and live life at the same time. While I’m here crying about how I’m getting a small role. While not working enough. They are constantly looking out for something, managing their times. Having friends. And I’m here alone, still struggling with the fucking language. And not be able to audition or go to classes. Of course for some, actually for all of them. They have more money. And some of them are nepos. And been here longer. Idk maybe that’s the difference? I started new and they had it already. They were already experienced, not me. They had network before, not me. I’m new to the city and I don’t have more money than them. But at the same time, I’m complaining even though I don’t work, make money, improve myself, reach out others. So maybe I deserve it and that I can’t accept it… I should be able to do these things at the same time like other do. But somehow it takes longer for me… idk maybe I should check for adhd and lie about it… fuck. I’m such a bad person. Maybe I should just quit for my mental health. I don’t want to be the one who has the least amount of lines where literally some of the people in our class doesn’t even want to be an actor… I can’t be that bad! There is no way! They are making me lose confidence and maybe that’s why I also don’t wanna do things. The others have something to give them motivation. It keeps them improved. But here I am stuck. So ducking stuck. I can even have friends properly.

I think I wanna leave. But I’m scared that they will see me as a dropout. Who didn’t achieve things. I’m scared I’m also going to see myself like that. Like I said how people are being so busy even with major roles while I don’t do any of them even though I have nothing. But at the same time. That’s why I want to leave. Bc I don’t feel accepted, I’m losing confidence every day bc of them. And I feel like they are ignoring me. I mean even if this isn’t right and if it’s all in my head then, maybe I need to dropout again. In this whole semester and now again I’m thinking about it constantly. I’m not like them and I don’t need to be. This is clearly not working for me. It is for them. I need to fix something within me first to be able to get better. I still want to be an actor. And I’m just afraid that if I drop out, it will be even worse. That I will not be able to find a class, or improve myself or do network or etc and etc. what if it get worse? And what if they see me as a disappointment? I know acting is not really a university thing but what if they see it as a university thing and can I still put those names in my resume?

[jahayla-parker]

🖤~ #4 sentence starters with all of the crows? like a group setting, maybe hinting at kaz x reader?

Pumpkin: Kaz Brekker x Reader , Six of Crows x Reader ~

Summary: 5.2k wc, Kaz x Reader where it’s not explicitly stated if they’re already together or just crushing/pining (you decide!), but Kaz caves in to y/n’s one wish and goes out of his way to make it happen.

Warnings: six of crows typical stuff so minor mentions of having trauma, violence, cursing or threats, etc. but super minor especially for being six of crows

“It’s in everything this time of year” Jesper whines, dramatically resting his head on the bar counter.

The crows were gathered around for no purpose other than eating breakfast and hoping Kaz would have a new heist for them.

“What is?” Kaz asks, his voice lacking any emotion as he limps over to stand next to y/n’s chair.

“Pumpkin spice” Wylan laughs and rolls his eyes at Jesper.

“No it’s not. See, it should be, but I have yet to see pumpkin spice waffles!” Nina argued, a slight frown forming.

Kaz rolled his eyes and adjusted his weight to better support his leg that had been bothering him already this morning.

Y/n noticed and quickly glanced at him to see if he was okay, to which he just nodded once.

“I did hear word that someone in Ketterdam is selling pumpkin spice donuts, so it’s possible that pumpkin spice waffles exist” Inej advices, smiling at their group.

“Enough” y/n laughs softly, “If I hear pumpkin spice one more time, I’m going to scream.”

“Finally, thank you y/n. Me too” Jesper grins, lifting his head up from the counter.

“I doubt it is for the same reason” Kaz says simply, looking from Jesper to the girl next to him.

“Why y/n/n?! It’s good, have you even tried it? Jesper is just trying to be different” Nina complains.

“Excuse me! I am different!” Jesper glares, prompting a laugh from Inej and Wylan as they both shake their heads at his childish behavior.

“It is, which is why this conversation is torturous. I’d kill for a pumpkin spice hot cocoa right now, especially in this weather” She tells Nina.

“You shouldn’t joke like that, someone might think you’re serious” Matthias remarks despite a soft smile on his lips as Nina cuddles into his side.

“Who said I’m not?” Y/n smirks, making the corners of Kaz’s lips curl up faintly.

———

Kaz sighs as he grabs the drink carrier from the barista and begins to will his leg to cooperate with him.

The rain and cold front that had fallen on Ketterdam that morning had yet to cease and was doing his injured leg no favors.

Kaz noted the distance back to the slat and the places in which he planned to stop briefly to rest his leg on the way.

He pushed past his first planned rest stop in an attempt to get the drinks back before they became cold.

However, he instantly regretted it.

Jesper and Inej were standing with Rotty and noticed him immediately.

He mentally groaned and he now elected to skip this stop as well, wanting solitude.

“Hey, Kaz!” Jesper called out, running up to him.

“Rotty was saying that- Is that pumpkin spice?!” The sharpshooter asked, cutting himself off.

“Rotty said what?” Kaz asked, continuing his frustratingly painful walk back.

“Doesn’t matter! Is that pumpkin-“ he attempted to ask again.

Kaz stopped briefly allowing his leg to find much needed relief, “what did he say?”

Jesper frowned, “he said that Visser had a new cargo load today”.

Kaz nodded, “Inej will see to finding out its contents”.

Jesper just stared at Kaz in shock.

“What is it Jesper? Is there more?” Kaz pressed, leaning on his cane.

“No, no, that’s all boss” he promised, but Kaz noticed he still stared.

“Jesper, spit it out” Kaz demanded, annoyance clearly showing in his features.

Jesper shrugged, the shock not leaving his face “I just didn’t think you’d be into pumpkin spice is all Kaz”.

Kaz huffed and ignored his sharpshooter as he turned to resume his return home.

Jesper furrowed his eyebrows as he thought more about it.

“He likes pumpkin spice?! The bastard who for years has only drank his coffee black and won’t budge on it, not letting any of our budget go to creamer or additives?!” Jesper protested quietly to Inej.

Inej smirks, nodding her head towards Kaz as she and Jesper speed walk to catch up.

Not that it took much effort given his slower than usual pace today.

“Forget the pumpkin spice part, why do you have two?” Inej grins.

“No don’t ignore the pumpkin spice, I need an answer” Jesper complains, glancing at Inej like she was crazy.

“Who said it was pumpkin spice?” Kaz asks ignoring Inej’s inquiry.

“I know that smell” Jesper says matter-of-factly, “but fine-“ he grabs one of the drinks from Kaz’s tray.

Kaz desperately wants to wack Jesper with the crow’s head of his cane for being so insubordinate.

However he realizes he has to decide if that’s worth letting the other drink fall to do so or if he should instead balance the drink and verbally reprimand him instead.

“Don’t” Kaz grumbles, opting for the second choice just as Jesper raises the cup to his lips.

“You’ve got two, you shouldn’t mind” Jesper winks, taking a small sip.

Kaz glares but bites his sharp tongue as to not raise their suspicions further with whatever he was about to say.

“Bleh!” Jesper groans, “I knew it. But, is that… hot chocolate?! I can forgive the pumpkin spice, but you’re not even putting it in your black coffee to cut the taste?!”

“Wait” Inej says, pausing as she thinks something over.

However, Kaz, of course, keeps walking.

“I knew it” she grins, sprinting to catch up to the boys.

“Knew what?” Jesper asks, wiping his tongue with his sleeve.

Kaz aggressively tears the drink from his hands and puts it back in the tray.

“Jes, who in our group only drinks hot cocoa and not coffee? And who, just earlier today might I add, said that she’d kill for a pumpkin spice hot cocoa?” Inej smirks, eyeing Kaz as she waits for a reaction.

His face is as stoic as always, but if y/n were here she’d be able to notice the twinkle in his eyes; a trait of his no other crow had been able to pick up on.

Kaz rolls his eyes casually to brush them off.

“Y/n?…oooh!” Jesper cheers, pumping his fist in the air, earning the group glances and glares from other Ketterdam residents.

That is, until they spot Kaz and hurriedly look away.

The boy had managed to instill enough fear over time that just the sight of him, even when carrying hot cocoa in one hand, cane in the other, and bundled up for the weather, clearly had people nervous.

“You’re not going to say anything?” Inej pressed.

“Yeah, no weak lie?” Jesper laughed.

“When I lie it is not weak” Kaz rebuts.

His two irritatingly stubborn crows kept staring at him as they walked with him back to their residence.

“Besides, I presume nothing I say will help you see clearly and accept the notion that I am capable of drinking hot chocolate alone” he adds later, seeing his crew has yet dropped the subject.

Inej smirks but quiets down, knowing when to not push him, even if she knows he’s hiding something.

———

Secretly, she hopes it’s that Kaz either has, or is about to, be honest about his feelings for y/n that Inej has been telling him are obviously there.

Not obvious in the typical sense, as that would be uncharacteristic of Kaz.

Instead, Inej had noticed how he stood a little taller and more confidently when y/n was present.

How Kaz always managed to be able to locate their newest member in a matter of what seemed like milliseconds. Even faster if something had gone wrong or not according to his plan.

How he was slower with his words around her, as if he was contemplating each word more thoroughly than normal.

How the curtains to the windows of his room would now be open during the day when they never had before.

How she’d caught him bringing books into the slat and into his room, but never saw him reading.

How she once caught y/n smile at him from across the club as she read what Inej assumed to be one of the mysterious books.

And how Kaz looked… relieved and seemed to almost be fighting himself to not smile as she saw the muscles in his jaw shake ever so slightly that day.

There’d been many, seemingly small things, that Kaz brushed off as coincidences or disregarded altogether when she pointed them out.

However, the seal of confirmation she needed came when Nina confided in her about how Kaz’s heart behaved around y/n.

Even if the bastard of the barrel had enough excuses or lies to justify the behaviors she spied, even he couldn’t hide his heart when it came to Nina’s Grisha abilities.

After a particularly difficult heist that had failed miserably, Nina went to Inej, needing to gossip.

She’d claimed she simply couldn’t keep it to herself and that y/n wouldn’t listen.

That night, Nina told Inej how she’d begun to notice a pattern where Kaz’s heartbeat would pick up its tempo when y/n would enter the room.

How, the girl had made his heart literally skip one beat when she’d shown up looking beautiful in an extravagant gown Nina purchased for the heist to have y/n blend in that evening, despite his face not bearing any emotions.

How, when y/n disappeared from everyone’s sights during a sudden scene of chaos, Kaz’s heart raced so rapidly that Nina herself had to catch her breath.

Nina knew without a doubt Kaz was truly overwhelmed by y/n.

She’d never tell him this; Saints forbid he ever found out she’d been listening to his heart without his knowledge.

But according to Nina, she tried to tell y/n that night to both cheer her up after a failed heist and to tease her about Kaz.

However, y/n seemed to sense the mockery and shut Nina down; politely as always, but Nina sensed there was more to it.

After that, no matter how much Nina swore she was being sincere, it seemed the girl didn’t want to hear it.

Hence why she’d sought out Inej.

Inej didn’t tell Nina what she herself saw, it wasn’t like her to even engage in such gossip to start with.

But she knew far too well how frustrating it could be to see Kaz acting this way and neither him nor y/n noticing or acting on it, so she let Nina vent.

That night, Inej and Nina swore to not interfere, wanting to maintain their friendships (or whatever it was they were to Kaz) with them both.

They are also both sure that at some point, Kaz would come to his senses; after all, this was Dirtyhands, and Dirtyhands never failed to get what he wanted.

And he so clearly wanted her, it had to be just a matter of time.

It took being vulnerable and honest, something both girls knew would take time but would only be received that much better by y/n when it did.

So they swore to let it be.

That didn’t mean they wouldn’t still tease him (not y/n after Nina mentioned fearing she upset their friend by sounding insincere earlier) and spy on him to see how he behaved.

Hence why in the current situation, Inej chose to switch to silent intrigue.

———

“With two hot chocolates?” Jesper teased, spinning the rings on his fingers.

“Yes, with two. I knew one of my crows, statistically you, Jesper, would do something to ruin one. Chances of you ruining two however, were much less likely. And I for one did want to limp back across Ketterdam for a new order” Kaz lied.

Jesper raised an eyebrow at Inej who just bit her lip and smirked.

Jesper too, knew better than to trust that defense.

First, Kaz would undoubtedly have made one of them, likely Jesper, go and get him a new order of that had happened.

Secondly, on a related note, the fact Kaz was even getting this order himself was odd.

Especially if you considered the weather and his patently sore leg.

Plus, he may not be able to feel or see what Inej and Nina have, but he’d be horribly blind to not have caught on to Kaz’s preferential treatment towards y/n.

———

She’d usually get the best role in heists, much to the others’ annoyance.

It wasn’t that y/n wasn’t good at her job, because, she was; but, that didn’t mean she needed the best time every time.

Jesper quickly saw that she got yelled at and/or reprimanded far less than him from the start (although, truthfully, that could be explained by many other reasons. Something Kaz so kindly pointed out to Jesper one night).

In addition, Jesper, like the other crows, knew y/n would often sleep in Kaz’s room.

He wasn’t sure how that worked, with Kaz’s touch sensitivity and all, as no one was allowed in, but Jesper knew it happened.

The two never tried to hide that behavior from the others as it had started early on after y/n had joined their gang.

Long before the other signs of Kaz’s pining were there, and the crows all knew everyone needed someone to lean on (metaphorically in Kaz’s case of course) after heists had gone wrong or just when dealing with life in Ketterdam.

Therefore, they’d all assumed y/n was Kaz’s outlet for that, -even if they doubted the bastard ever opened up about such matters- and that, for some reason Jesper couldn’t fathom, y/n had chosen Kaz as her closest support system.

However, as time passed Jesper got suspicious there was more there.

He knew Kaz too well by now, as reserved as he might be, to not see the changes in the person he considered not just a boss but a close friend.

Plus, he truly enjoyed the annoyance he saw in Kaz when he’d tease him about y/n, even if Jesper knew it wouldn’t end well for him.

———

Whether or not there was something going on, and whether that explained the pumpkin spice hot chocolate ordeal, didn’t matter.

His crows had picked up on something, and, like any good crow, they weren’t going to forget it or let it go anytime soon.

However, the rest of the walk back to the slat was silent, much to Kaz’s relief.

Albeit, he was surprised when neither attempted to follow him to his room.

He checked the hallway first and upon not seeing anyone, he knocked on his own door before entering.

Y/n looked up from the pile of blankets and pillows she’d drug into his room months ago, sitting up and smiling as he entered.

Kaz noticed she’d been reading a copy of the latest book he picked up from the university bookstore a few days ago.

“How is it?” He asked, setting the soaking wet cardboard drink carrier down on his cluttered desk.

“I love it” She answered, Kaz hearing the smile in her tone as he removed his coat.

“Yeah?” He asked, facing her ss her raised an eyebrow, her signal to continue.

He’d grown to learn how much she not only loved to read but loved to talk to someone about what she had read.

He was flummoxed at first when he’d himself not hating the activity and instead discovering that they both found it calming and gained momentary peace through the routine.

Y/n blushed slightly, making Kaz smirk softly as he waited for her to carry on.

“Mmhm, this guy Julian I wasn’t so sure about at first. I mean, the main character, Scarlett, let’s him lead her on these adventures but she hardly even knows him other than that he doesn’t seem trustworthy and is a potentially dangerous criminal!“ y/n rambled, prompting Kaz to raise an eyebrow at her again as he waited to see if she picked up on the irony.

“But, it turns out he’s not a bad guy. This other guy is, I think. His name is Legend, I guess but I don’t know which person he is” she shrugs before melting back into her pile of fluff as her blankets and pillows shift to accommodate her.

“Hmm, his name is Legend?” Kaz asked, limping to his dresser to get dry clothes.

“He certainly does sound like the villain” Kaz joked, not truthfully caring about the book but rather pleased she did.

If he was being honest with himself for once, he’d admit that he could’ve listened to y/n talk to him about anything and still want to be present to hear it.

Saints, the boy would probably settle for listening to her incessantly discuss something as mundane as the weather or something he knew far too comprehensively already.

“I think so, I’m not done and I guess there’s more books in the series so I’ll absolutely need to go purchase them tomorrow” She laughed shyly as she detected how geeky she likely sounded.

“I can-“ Kaz began, leaning on the dresser with his back to her as he removed his saturated vest, water dripping from it still.

“Kaz,” y/n interjected, noticing the dresser was taking the brunt of his weight, indicating to her that he was in pain.

“Yes?” He asked, tossing his vest and undershirt into the hamper in the corner before grabbing a fresh one.

Y/n bit her lip as she pushed away the intimate nature of the situation she was in and the impressive muscle definition of his back; currently far more focused on his leg.

“Did you use your pain lotion today?” She asked softly, hoping to not offend him.

He stifled silently, halting the buttoning of his black long-sleeve button down shirt before he sighed.

Y/n frowned and reluctantly looked back to her book, feeling guilty for asking about such a private matter but still distressed over his state.

Kaz turned around when he concluded she wasn’t going to push.

He ran a hand through his wet hair and down his face guiltily.

“I did, yes” he said, as softly as he could manage given his resistance to disclose such details to anyone.

He watched as she smiled tenderly and nodded a few times, her eyes still in her book.

Kaz’s forehead wrinkled as he squinted at her, troubled that even buried in a massive heap of comfort items and a book in her hands y/n still appeared discontent.

He took a deep breath and resumed changing the remainder of his clothing.

After he dried his hair enough for the time being, he limped to his bed and sat on the edge of it.

“Y/n,” he sighed, frustrated with himself for allowing the girl to make him display his vulnerability, “would you ever be so kind as to bring me the pain lotion?”

Y/N’s head perked up, her eyes leaving the page that Kaz knew all too well she hadn’t actually been reading; perceiving how her eyes had lingered on that page far too long.

“Of course” She stood within seconds, repressing a sympathetic smile, “the usual place?”

Kaz nodded and studied her as she made her way to his bedside table and grabbed the lotion from within its drawers.

The lotion has been placed inside a bottle that was designed to look like a stray bottle of whiskey.

Y/n had concocted the charade in order for Kaz to comply with her request demand he keep the treatment in his room.

He’d resisted, protesting he would not have anyone else knowing that he needed such a crutch.

While she argued that she noticed no one else was even allowed in his room without him present, she conceded to forming this ruse.

“You’re running low,” she commented, placing herself in front of him but not close enough to touch him by accident.

He nodded slowly, “I will pick up more tomorrow”.

She smiled thankfully at him, handing him the bottle containing what little supply was left.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice a mere whisper, “thank you.”

Y/n bit her lip and glanced at the floor under her slipper covered feet as she nodded, “it’s not a problem Kaz”.

He took the opportunity of her not looking to smile fleetingly in her direction.

He wordlessly pulled up his loose pant leg and applied a minuscule amount of the topical solution to it, an unintended sigh of relief escaping as the tincture-based lotion sent warmth through the tense muscles and inflamed joints.

“Can I ask you something?” Y/n questioned, a pleased look on her face as she popped back into her pile on the floor.

“You just did” Kaz smirked, lowering his pant leg back over his swollen leg.

She glared at him and raised an eyebrow as she knowingly waited for her request to be approved.

Kaz hated that she knew he’d give in and let her ask whatever had been plaguing her mind.

He laughed once, gratified by her marginal irritation, “yes, my darling y/n, so long as I get to ask one of you”.

She tilted her head to the side and nodded slowly, intrigued by what he, Kaz Brekker -the boy who knew everything about everything and everyone-, wanted to ask her.

“Ladies first” He smirked, laughing timidly at her bewilderment.

She pursed her lips as she jokingly glared at him for the faux chivalry, and if it wasn’t for the fear of once again facing the unrelenting waves that arise with physical contact, he felt certain he would try to kiss those delicate lips until she was no longer glaring.

“Fine” She scoffed lightheartedly, “I was wondering why you were gone all day. I thought you’d have a heist for us to plan… well, you to plan, me to supervise you plan and fix the problems in said plan”.

He huffed, the low lighting in the room enhancing the twinkle in his eyes “oh, is that so?”

She smirked and nodded simply as if it were obvious, “Sundays are usually for planning. Not that I mind reading this book, although I’m sadly nearly finished now… anyways, it’s freezing and you disappeared only to return dripping literal lakes of water onto the floor “.

Kaz blushed faintly, cursing his pale skin for wrecking his attempt to remain solidly stoic for this discussion.

“I had business to attend to” He answered, pushing on his cane in order to stand up.

“What’re you-“ y/n began to object, but he curtly nodded at her to stop her.

“I grabbed us something on my return” Kaz admitted, removing the drinks from the now mushy container.

Kaz didn’t feel the need to mention that the business he referenced needing to attend to was in fact the very act of getting the drinks and nothing more.

Y/N’s eyes widened with excitement as Kaz shakingly approached her, somehow managing to balance the two drinks in his hand that was not holding his cane.

“What? Is this…” she grinned widely, beaming up at him as he slowly lowered himself to the floor next to her and her pile.

“Is this what I think it is?” She asked.

Kaz wanted to tease her that she’d already asked her question and he hadn’t agreed to another.

But he instead offered her, what for him counted as a smile, and nodded in response.

“Oh my Saints Kaz!” She exclaimed, quickly slapping her hand over her mouth at her sudden sacrilegious turn of phrase.

Kaz couldn’t suppress his laugh that time, especially since he’d never expected to hear his name and the word Saint in the same sentence in a non-condescending manner.

She blushed and tucked some loose hair behind her left ear before accepting the cup from him.

“To be candid, the drink is probably cold by now” he whispered, watching her fingers respectfully avoid his.

“I can go heat it up downstairs or get new-“ Kaz rambled, embarrassed by his need to please her to this extent.

She shook her head to silence him, “no, it’s fine! Thank you Kaz”.

Kaz nodded twice and watched as her eyes closed while sipping the pumpkin spice hot chocolate that Jesper hadn’t touched.

He found himself smiling like an idiot as he watched her savor the drink that undoubtedly could benefit by being heated up.

She sighed cheerfully as her body loosely sank further into the pillows and blankets.

“You know, if you keep doing that, they’ll absorb you” Kaz joked.

“Mmm, let them. That’s fine with me, it’s cozy and now I’m happy “ she smiled, eyes still closed as she pulled one of the blankets over her.

“Now?” Kaz asked with genuine concern, “you weren’t happy before?”

Of course she wasn’t happy in the barrel, he thought.

She belonged somewhere more suited for her caring heart and intelligent mind, somewhere like Ravka.

Kaz thought about offering to find her a way there and a room, debating on if he could use his connection with Strumhold for that arrangement.

Sure it meant seeing her less, but certainly Kaz could visit without it seeming odd… right?

Besides, she deserved a better life than this one, better than Ketterdam, …better man Kaz, he thought.

Y/N’s giggles brought him back to the present moment and erased all concerns and previous potential plans.

“That’s not what I meant” she smiled, “I should’ve said happier. I could stay in this humble little fuzzy abode all day. Especially when I have a good book and steal your fluffy slippers”.

Kaz shook his head, “You do realize you don’t need to be sitting on the floor, yes?”.

She smiled sweetly at him, “I know, but this position allows me to still see you when you’re at your desk. Plus I feel guilty when you make me sleep in your bed while you rest in the chair or floor, when you rest that is”.

Kaz bit the middle of his lip as the corners twisted upwards, nodding his head far too many times.

“Plus, they brighten up the place!” She teases.

That was very true, as soon as she’d wandered into his room with them, seeking solace in having something to embrace, Kaz had noticed the change in how his room looked.

“Well, the offer stands. Now, did you truly enjoy the drink?” He asks.

She raises an eyebrow at him and nods, “I did, thank you again. Are you about to start mocking me like Jesper for enjoying pumpkin spice?”

He shakes his head no, “I simply wasn’t sure if it was as you envisioned”.

She smiles, tucking her feet under her in the colorful and comfy mess surrounding her, “it was. Obviously I love any hot cocoa, but I hadn’t had a pumpkin spice one this year yet!”

“Darling, you do know it’s only barely September, don’t you?” He teases, pleased to see her blush at the pet name.

“Yes Kaz! But, they’re only available for two months each year” She defends.

He laughed quietly, “well, in that case. Would you like to join me tomorrow when I head to town?”

“What are you doing heading to town?” She asked, not picking up on his clues.

“Well, since you are nearly done and haven’t figured out who this Legend person is or if he’s a villain, it seems I am responsible to obtain the next book” He said, pointing to the hardcover book sitting between them.

“And I have to check with Rotty about a few details on a shipment. I don’t see a reason I, …or we, would be unable to stop by the cafe during the trip “ Kaz offered anxiously.

“Really?!” Y/n asked, eyes sparkling.

Kaz gave her a tentative smile, “we can’t have you missing out on the opportunity for more pumpkin spice hot chocolate”.

She blushed and nodded in agreement, “that’d be great, thank you!”

Giving her a small nod, Kaz confirms, “the deal is the deal”.

She giggled and nodded back, “the deal is the deal”.

“Kaz?” She asked, pointing to his cup, “You haven’t even drank your’s”.

He scoffed, “Jesper licked it”.

“He licked it?!” She gasps.

Chuckling for a couple seconds, Kaz clarifies, “well, drank from it, yes. But still, I don’t trust his mouth”.

Y/n bursts into laughter, her smile creasing her eyes, “did you at least whack him with your cane?”

Kaz smirked, “it was tempting, but I would’ve dropped your’s in doing so, and the consequences of that I fear would be far worse than his lips all over my cup”.

She smirked back and nodded, “alright, that’s fair… You could still drink it though. Jesper germs and all, I’d argue it might just be worth it”.

Kaz winces and shakes his head, “absolutely not. I’ll have mine tomorrow when we go to town”.

Y/n smiles directly at him before closing her eyes and leaning back into her blanket and pillow pyramid.

“Speaking of…” She mumbles, blatantly peaking at him with one eye.

“Yes y/n/n?” Kaz questions.

“Can we also stop by that little stand that has the pumpkins? I was thinking the slat could use some festive decorations” She says.

Kaz rolls his eyes but nods, “I suppose. But nothing excessive, we don’t need people getting the wrong idea”.

Y/n smirked to herself, both eyes closed again, “course not. Just a few large pumpkins and a couple baby ones“.

Kaz groaned loudly, already regretting his acceptance.

Y/n laughed, “we’ll prepay and have Matthias pick them up later”.

Kaz sighed and waited as he noticed she likely had more to add.

“Okay,” she said with glee, “so pumpkin spice hot cocoa, some pumpkins from the stand, oooh and maybe some pumpkin waffles for Nina”.

Kaz shook his head, “people are going to think I have a pumpkin obsession”.

“Since when do you care about what other people think? Well besides me” she winks jokingly, “besides, I’ll take the fall for it”.

“Was that pun intended?” He asked, smirking as she sunk into her blankets even more.

“It might have been. It might not have been. Who’s to say really?” She countered.

“You darling, I believe you would be the one to say” he teased.

Y/N’s eyes shot open, a playful evil glint in them prompting Kaz to raise his eyebrows at her as he waited for an explanation for her sudden state of alert.

“I came up with a nickname for you Kaz! If people are already going to be talking about the pumpkin scandal” she smirks, “does that mean I can now call you pumpkin?”

Kaz groaned and ran his hand down his face as he tried to not blush at the concept.

———

Kaz Brekker taglist: @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r

[positivityforlesbians]

So, Thursday I watched the one hour long Kehlani interview I mentioned earlier this week (trying to know her story, since a follower was saying she cannot be a lesbian considering past interviews she had) and I actually got through the whole thing, only the first minutes were really annoying. The rest was surprisingly interesting and got me to learn more about her. She did say that in the past during sex with men she was doing things because she felt she was supposed to do them, supposed to like them, but that she "didn't actually enjoy them". She knew something was wrong to the point she talked about that distress to her therapist, who told her "have you ever think you might be gay/ not into men ?" (she showed her the Compulsory Heterosexuality document, where yes there are some experiences that fit bi women but others that do fit lesbians) and that's when it clicked for her. She resumes that by saying she was "trying to be a good performer even in her own life".

Even regarding her choices of clothes, she got ridiculed for not looking like what people were looking for in women in the current r&b musical scene, seen as too masculine, heavily tattooed, so she changed to be hyper-feminine, to fit in, but it was never authentic. Her style is more fluid than that, likes to be feminine sometimes, often leans more masculine, more tomboyish. It hit her that she was performing so hard because she was bullied, and she feels like this played into her sexuality. She mentioned how she looked like before fame (see picture), though we all change for the better between our teenage years and adult ones, it's clear to her now that the industry pushed her to change. She was that kid and people bullied her for it, at school there was a rumour she was a trans boy, which obviously impacted her negatively.

There’s definitely an interesting point she brings up about how the male gaze and how having male make up artists and stylists changed her image for a few years, making her more feminine but also more uncomfortable with herself really (which she didn’t admit to herself when it was happening). She had to wear wigs and had breast implants to make her boobs look bigger so she would really fit what she was supposed to incarnate in the music industry.

She mentioned that the woman who took care of her style when she first began in the industry didn’t do all that and let her be tomboy, which in retrospective was the best thing. Now she is more like the young adult she was at first, stopped wearing the wigs and took away the breast implants, dressing and acting more like herself.

She’s just now finally letting go of what other people will say, how negatively they can perceive her, etc, and she says coming out as a lesbian at 25 was the last thing she needed to do to be in line with herself and be like « i don’t give a fuck » to all these people who « run my life since I’m 16 years old ». She was trying to convince herself of so many things before that. She’s surprised that everybody talked about her coming out because originally she was simply on her friend’s Instagram live and when asked what was up she casually said « I finally realized I’m a lesbian » and then next thing she knows the next morning there was lots of articles about it, phone calls, etc which was strange because the media treated her as is she was straight before that. But then Kehlani realized it might have been because nowadays the number of women who come out as lesbians is unfortunately very low and everybody come out as queer, fluid or pan and so the label itself might have been why this happened. When asked by the woman of the Youtube channel (her friend the musician DJ Kitten) if she regretted how it happened she says that she had a lot of support and women were happy that she used the word lesbian specifically (« because words matter ») versus identifying as « queer » so she doesn’t regret it and don’t think she would do it in a different way. Any other way would have been planned or superficial so really she’s satisfied of how it happened, it was natural and just "chill."

When asked what she would say to her 12 years old self : « you won’t even like boys so don’t waste your time, stop hanging out with them like that, skip it ». When asked about her goals, when talking about the personal life ones she says « it’s funny because I realized this the other day, I don’t think I ever believed in marriage until I came out, and I think a personal goal of mine is now I want to get married some day ». When asked for why this shift occurred she said that when she was with men she always thought « something is going to come along and make me feel better », « I hate to say it but I was like I don’t want to be stuck with you » (side note : these are common experiences of women who are not attracted to men but denying - consciously or not - their own feelings) it was never genuine with them. Which, she explains, is why these relationships were always quick, she was always the one to break it off, it was easy to do so as there was no real feeling involved from her part, whereas with women she felt it (being into them) and she was scared of her own feelings. Now she can finally reconcile with her feelings and she sees how being with a woman changes her, it impacts her, it's finally being connected to herself, because that’s who she really is and nothing is faked.

So truly I believe her, we'll see what happens with time (and maybe we're all wrong) but right now I believe her saying that she was forcing herself to be someone she's not and that she's a lesbian. She's pretty cool to me, seems more authentic than ever and, truly, for the first time, I'm waiting for Kehlani's next album to be released. Her music is dope, I listened to her stuff more than ever this week ! I'm kinda becoming a real fan ! Listen to the song "Touch Me" she feats on with bi rapper-songwriter Victoria Monet, it's incredibly sensual because it's about each other ! Also damn, she's so attractive ! Look at her face ! Her tattoos ! Her eyes ! Her curly hair ! Omg 😳🥵

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

[bakugosbratx]

NSFW 18+ The Assistant— AU Levi Ackerman x Fem! Reader

Warning: 18+ Content. Smut, degrading, cursing, punishment, dom levi, sub reader, bondage, bdsm, some angst, toxic relationship, spanking, cheating, etc.

Words: 3, 673

Check out my other works here

A/N: Me and my irl moot @idfkwtfgof came up with this idea so I decided to write it out. Enjoy this fifty shades of gray moment. I’ve been working on this for over a month 🙃 I’m sorry it took me forever.

Tags: @idfkwtfgof @awilddreamerwrites @peachsenpie

You take a deep breath as you approached the double doors in front of you. Your heart pounded against your rib cage. The silent hallways seemed to be echoing the thumps. Anyone in your position would be nervous too if they had to meet with the CEO of the Ackerman Industries. He was not one to enjoy much company nor request it. His gaze alone could intimidate the strongest of people and you are no different.

Fist resting on the wooden door in front of you, you hesitate, but close your eyes and knock anyway. You did not hear a response as you patiently wait. Instead, the door swings open to be met with the CEO himself, Levi Ackerman. Not a word was spoken, but he ushered you inside his huge office.

Scurrying, you slightly jump as you heard the huge door slam. You are in Levi’s office. Only businessmen and women are allowed in here. You feel not even worthy to be stepping on the same floor these successful people walk on. It could also be the fact that the office seemed spotless. For someone as busy as the CEO, he sure did know how to make a stack of papers seem neat in a stack.

“Sit.” Levi instructed as he strolled over to his desk chair and doing the said action. You looked around the room. Behind Levi is a wall of windows to overlook the city of New York. His desk his a beautiful dark brown that was so clean that you could see your reflection. Along with seeing your reflection, you can see —and feel— Levi starring at you. Meeting his silver orbs, you gulp.

“Do you know why I called you in here, Y/N?” Levi questioned, his tone remaining calm as always. Somehow, this intimidated you even more.

“No, sir, I don’t.” You admit. In all honesty, you are not sure why Levi called you into his office. He waited until almost everyone has gone home for the evening to set up this meeting. You have felt nauseous all day about it. Receiving an email from the CEO was enough to make anyone’s breath hitch, but to have a meeting — alone — with him is enough to make one soil themselves.

“I want to offer you a promotion,” Levi explained, his gaze hardening. “That is, if you want it?”

This is way better news than you expected. Levi has employees for a reason. He always calls the shots since it is his million dollar company, but why get his hands dirty when he can pay people to do it for him? Since no one is allowed in his office without special permission, this seemed a bit off.

“What does the job intel?”

“Well, my company is expanding even larger than anticipated this year. I need a personal assistant. Examining the work you have put in over the years, I decided you are cut out for the job. What do you say?”

You take a moment to contemplate his words. The offer is amazing and would definitely look great on your resume, but working so close to the CEO of the company is quite intimidating. Any bad habits you have developed better end swiftly or else it’s your job on the line. Levi is not afraid to terminate anyone not fit for the job.

“I’ll take it.” You smile, the words flowing out before you could even think any further.

“You start tomorrow. I expect you in my office 8am sharp. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re dismissed.”

Standing up, you straighten out your black pencil skirt and head your way towards the door. Levi’s eyes did not once leave your figure. The way you naturally sway your hips as you walk and the way the skirt hugged your hips just right. His eyes are enjoying the desires most men have yet when you turned to look over your shoulder, his eyes where focused on his paperwork.

You went home that night, excited to tell your significant other about your promotion. He did not even blink an eye in your direction. Instead, he is pissed that you are home later than normal.

“Babe—“

“Where the hell have you been?” He hissed.

“I-I was called into the CEO’s office. I got a promotion!” You stammered, nervous under your boyfriend’s glare. He always made you feel small and his anger tends to send you over the edge. This is one of those many times.

“Why would he have you in there this late? Do you think I’m really that fucking stupid?” He scoffed, shaking his head.

“Babe, I’m being serious. I would never lie to you.” You argued.

“And how do I know that?” He countered. “How am I certain that you aren’t cheating on me? Or even hurt? Are your damn thumbs broken, Y/N? Can’t keep me updated ‘bout what’s going on? I was worried sick about you.”

You let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll do better.”

Your boyfriend walked over to you, embracing your body into a tight hug. You had so much more to say, but to prevent any further escalation of an argument, you apologized and kept your mouth shut.

The next morning arrived. You woke up extra early to have time to do your hair and makeup, dressed in your nicest attire, and wear the most expensive of jewelry. Since you are going to be around the CEO for now on, you cannot show up to work appearing sluggish. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, your boyfriend leaning against the doorframe.

“Dressed quite nicely, huh?” He spoke, meeting your eyes through the mirror. You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat.

“I have to be.”

He stayed silent for a moment, his orbs tracing your figure. He hated when you showed confidence. It killed him inside and knowing that other men saw your beauty as well made his blood boil. He just has to ruin it.

“For the circus? Your makeup looks awful and your hair is tremendous.” He scoffed.

You bit your bottom lip. Tears welled in your eyes, but you prevented them from falling. You refuse to let him ruin your confidence. You are a strong woman and his insecurities shouldn’t be placed upon you. It is not your baggage to carry.

You meet his eyes again through the mirror. You feel your confidence crumble beneath you, but you remain strong. Turning around, you brush past him as you stroll out of the bathroom. You ignored him calling your name and demanding you to return. All he could do is watch as you left without even saying goodbye.

You arrived to the business earlier than expected. You have checked your hair and makeup more than once in the car review mirror. You are not necessarily even wanting Levi’s approval, — though he is quite handsome — you just want to look presentable. He is your boss, after all. He is not afraid to fire anyone on the spot. You are no exception.

Inhaling a sharp breath, you knock on Levi’s office door. You hear his approval to come inside and welcome yourself inside. You were not even receive a glance as you closed the door behind you. Levi’s gray orbs never left his monitor screen. You gulp nervously as you proceed towards his desk.

“I stopped to get some coffee. I brought you a tea,” you lay his cup on his desk, “just how you like it.”

He nods, still typing away. This did not help your anxiety at all. Is he regretting his decision making you his assistant? Are you disturbing him? Is he contemplating firing you? Your stomach turned at the thought.

The sound of the printer disturbed your nuisance thoughts. Levi grabbed the piece of paper and placed it on top of a neat stack. He stands up, finally looking at you.

“I have a meeting to attend to in an hour. I need these documents assorted in alphabetical order before then.”

Your eyes fall to the tall stack of papers. You definitely need more than an hour to get through them all. By Levi’s facial expression, you knew he was serious. Levi always looked serious.

“Yes, sir,” you grab the stack and meet his a gaze again, “I’ll get it done swiftly.”

“Good. I’m counting on you. Sit over there.” He orders, glancing at the couches and coffee table in the middle of his office. Maybe it is just your nerves, but his workspace seems bigger than remembered. This did not help your anxiety.

You began getting to work. You thought you are doing well on time, but time seemed to have passed you by. Levi is now towering over you, his unsatisfied silver orbs glaring down at you. You hesitate, but force yourself to meet them.

“Thought you said you would have this done?” Levi recalls.

“I-I’m really sorry, s-sir.” You stammered, expecting the worse.

“Sorry doesn’t sort the papers, Y/N.” He scolds, his silver eyes only being shown through slits.

“I—“

“We will discuss this after my meeting. Until then, I want my office spotless.” Levi continues, cutting you off. He begins walking towards the door and pauses once he reaches for the handle. “Oh and Y/N?”

You look up, meeting the CEO’s annoyed orbs. “Yes, sir?”

“You’re on strike one.” Levi warns. You did not even have a chance to ask questions as his office door slams shut behind him, leaving you alone to sulk in your thoughts.

You tidied up Levi’s office like he requested of you. Every paper went into its appropriate home, cushions are straightened out, rug is vacuumed, and you are currently dusting. This man is a clean freak by nature so there was not much to do. Still, your nerves were pulsating. This is only day one and you are not on Levi’s good side. You are becoming worrisome as your job is now potentially on the line.

The door opening made you jump. You can feel Levi’s silver orbs on you as you dust his bookshelf. He did not disturb you, though, as he proceeded towards his desk and went to work like nothing happened. Curiosity is begging you to speak, but you remain silent and complete your task.

You gather the cleaning supplies and place them back into the small closet. Returning on the guest side of Levi’s desk, he does not even look up from his monitor.

“I’m finished cleaning, sir.”

Levi did not say anything. Instead, he stood up and went to the window. His fingers grazed along the exterior which collected dust on the tips. He studied it for a moment. Your heart stopped as your breath hitched. You did not mean to forget the windows, but they look so clean already. They truly do not need much more cleaning.

“Seems like you missed a spot.” He remarks, turning to face you.

“I-I’m so sorry, sir. I thought—“

“Your cleaning is lamentable. Back to dusting. Now.” He demands, cleaning the dust off of his fingers with his handkerchief.

“Yes, sir.” You reply, gathering the cleaning supplies once again. You sprayed the windows and clean every inch of them until lunch time. Levi was sure to inspect your work before releasing you to go get something to eat.

“You’re dismissed.” He finally speaks. You are quick to collect your belongings leave his office. You stroll the long hallway to the elevator. You are finally alone with your thoughts and honestly, they were overwhelming. This job is very nerve racking and it’s only your first day. You are not making the best of impressions on your boss.

Digging in your purse, you check your cellphone. You have several missed calls and texts from your significant other. A pit in your stomach began to drown your appetite. You know this is going to cause a major fight between you two. A fight you did not want to participate in.

Reluctantly, you call your boyfriend back. He picks up on the second ring.

“Where the fuck have you been?” He hissed, sending chills down your spine. The elevator doors open and you head towards the cafeteria.

“Working. I can’t be on my phone while I’m—“

“So work is more important than me?” He interrupts.

“What? No. That’s not it at all.” You argued, picking up a bag of chips and a drink from the dispensers before checking out.

“Then answer my damn calls, Y/N!”

“I can’t when I’m at work!” You exclaimed. You hand the cashier money before mouthing the words ‘thank you.’ She gave you a worried look, but you disregarded it. This is not the first time that have heard a heated conversation between you and your boyfriend.

You go find an empty table to eat by yourself. The bickering between your boyfriend did not end on a good note as the other line went dead. You slammed your phone back into your purse and forced yourself to eat your chips. You did not even want them. Your relationship is falling through the cracks, you are failing at your job, and you are on the verge of losing what is left of your sanity.

Time really slipped away while you fumed in anger because you are now late to returning to Levi’s office. Tears prickled in your eyes. This is not good at all. Levi is going to be furious. Even possibly firing you.

You raced to his office. You did not even take the elevator as it will take far too long to get to his office. You are panting by the time you arrive and sweat droplets formed at the top of your forehead. Your hands began to shake as your hand rested on the handle. You need to go in there, but your body did not want to move. Your boyfriend is already pissed. You did not want to deal with your furious boss.

Sighing, you forced yourself to go inside. “I am so sorry.” You blurt out as you enter inside. Levi is giving you a disapproving look.

“Take a seat, Y/N. We need to have a talk.”

Following your boss’ orders, you sit in the chair parallel to his. You begin to tremble as you expect the worse. Levi’s glare does not help you feel any less uneasy either. His silver orbs are staring deep into your soul and making you feel small.

“You know you’re on strike three.” Levi begins. You gulp.

“I know, sir. I’m very sorry. I’ll accept any punishment you have in mind for me.” You sigh, trying to remain brave. Levi can see right through it, though. His gaze hardens and he makes his way around to your side of the desk. He folds his arms but does not remove his gaze from you once.

“What punishment do you think you deserve?” Levi ask, hoping you have the same answer in mind as him.

“I-I’m not sure. I’ll take anything. It’s what I deserve.” You admit, a flustered feeling coming across you. Levi studied your features, clicking his tongue.

“Bend over the desk.”

“What?” You whispered, not sure if you heard your boss correctly. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. His intimidating glare pierced through you.

“Talking to that lame ass boyfriend of yours must have you goin deaf. I said bend over my desk.” Levi instructs, letting go of your chin once you catch his drift. You do as your told, bending over his desk. You are uncertain what he is planning to do, but the removal of your skirt gave you a pretty good idea. Your cheeks felt hot as your bare ass is now exposed to Levi’s viewing.

“Lace panties, huh? You planned on being put in this position later?” Levi chuckles, his digits playing with the strap of your thong. You bit your bottom lip, not knowing what to say. A hard smack to your bare ass caused you to release a moan.

“I asked you a question. It’s only polite to answer, brat.”

“Yes. It was for my boyfriend.” You confess in embarrassment for more reasons than one.

“Oh, I see. Your toxic little relationship is in need of fixing, but the only thing you have to offer is your pretty little pussy.” Levi analyzes, rubbing his hand on your ass before delivering another slap. You wince in pain, but you mentally screamed for more. You wanted Levi to continue spanking you.

“That’s not it, sir.” You mumbled. His hand landed down on your sore ass once more while the other hand finds refuge in your hair. He pulls it, tightly, bending your head back.

“What really gets me is this mouth of yours. I suggest you use it to tell the truth before I stuff it.” Levi growls lowly in your ear, letting go of your hair to return behind you.

Another slap was delivered. Little melodies of moans escaped your lips that you attempted to conceal. Levi did not comment on it as he proceed with the punishment. Your cunt dripped with your slick. It is begging to be touched, fucked, anything Levi desires really.

A few slaps and a very red ass later, Levi’s digits founder their way inside your soaked cunt. “Someone enjoyed themselves, hm?” He teased, curling his fingers in you. You shuffle a bit, enjoying the sensation he is giving you. The removal of his fingers made you whine in a needy tone.

“I did, Levi. Please fuck me.” You cry, wanting his cock already. He chuckled at your begging, his hand rubbing your red ass then hitting it again.

“On your knees. Now.” Levi demands. You happily oblige before him. He pats your head in approval. “Good girl. You do know how to listen.”

Levi begins unbuckling his black belt. You are practically foaming at the mouth as he slides the leather out of each loop. He sets it on the desk before proceeding to unbuckle his pants, releasing his hard cock for you to pleasure. Your eyes light up at the sight. The tip of his erection is at your lips, ready for you to move forward. Your tongue teases his sensitive head before you let each inch slide in-and-out of your saliva filled mouth.

“Yeah, like that, baby.” Levi praises as you deep throat his length. You choke some, but continue taking all of his cock. Your tongue spends time playing with the veins in his cock while his head relaxes in your throat.

“The cock hungry slut having a hard time deep throating all my cock?” Levi mocks as you pull it out to catch your breath. A string of saliva connected your lips and his cock together as your lust filled orbs met his.

“Not a chance.” You grin, placing his dick back in your mouth. Levi groans in delight as you repeat the same patterns as before. His cock twitches inside your mouth as pre-cum leaks from the tip and down your throat. You gladly swallow it as his cock becomes overwhelmed, releasing his semen onto your tongue. Not a drop was spilled as you milked his cock for all he had to offer.

Pulling away, Levi praises you again. “Such a good little slut you are. Time we give your pussy some attention, huh?”

“Yes, please, sir.” You beg, eagerly. He taps his desk.

“Bend over my desk.” He commands. Following orders, you bend over his desk like before. You arched your back so your ass and pussy is more accessible for Levi. He spreads your legs out more so your weeping cunt is fully exposed. The cold air sent chills down your spine. Levi is already hard again as he stares at your pussy.

Aligning himself, the tip of his cock enters your dripping hole, sliding in perfectly. You moan as he thrust a rough rhythm. His hips slap against your ass and his hands cling onto your hips. You tightly hang onto his desk as he pick up the pace. You sob out pleas for more.

“Better quiet down. Don’t want your coworkers hearing me fuck you like the whore you are now do we?”

You did not even care. You wanted Levi and you wanted him bad. Groans and profanities filled the room from you two as Levi hits all the right spots. You babble incoherent sentences as you start to climax again on Levi’s girth. Your walls clenched on his size and released when he re-enters himself. This does not stop Levi, though, as he chases after his own high.

“Already cumming again, slut?” Levi teases as he is slowly losing himself inside you. He hit your ass again while his dick twitches. “Ask permission next time.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You cry out, not wanting him to stop. He pulls on your hair again, bending down to whisper in your ear.

“I’m going to fill you up so much that you have to hide it from your boyfriend.”

“Please Levi.” You beg, not even caring anymore. You wanted Levi. You have wanted him for a long time and the feeling is mutual on his end. That is why he hired you, after all.

Levi’s cock could not withstand the pressure anymore. Releasing into the depths of your cunt, he huffs profanities as every drop enters inside of you. You gladly take it as you breathe heavily. He finally pulls out, leaving you a cum filled mess. Giving your ass a gentle tap so you will get up.

“You are dismissed for the day.” Levi grumbled as he situated himself and you did the same. You straightened out your outfit and fixed your hair. You will fix your makeup in the restroom. You proceeded to exit your boss’ office when he called out to you. “Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yes?” You purred, looking over your shoulder.

“Let your boyfriend know you’re my slut now.”

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

[loving-all-for-loki]

Your writing is so wonderful! Could I maybe request something comforting? I’m currently recovering from a surgery to repair my foot with bone anchors and I’ll be bed ridden for 6 weeks. Maybe something with Loki being very supportive and caring for the reader 24/7, moving into her room etc. and the team are just surprised at how helpful he’s being to her. 🤗.

A/N: I’m sorry if I posted this at a weird time, but I have the next chapter to my series Voiceless Love coming out and I wanted to give this fic some time to be seen before that got posted. It’s also a little short, but I felt like this was perfect as a short and sweet fic, instead of a 2k+ story, haha. Also, I know it isn’t 100% exactly what you wanted, but I get stuck with one idea and run with it, oops. I hope you are getting better with your foot. That stinks so much and I’ve been there with my own ankle injuries. If you have any requests for some fics while you recover, send them my way! I always need some inspo and if I can give you some entertainment during your recovery, that would be great. Now, read this, get some sleep, and drink some water. I hope you heal nicely <3

Lucky

Loki x reader

Word count: 1533

Warnings: Pure fluff, just fluff, fluffiness, maybe a bit of sexualizing Loki (I couldn’t help myself)

Seeing your friends carrying big heavy boxes for you swells your heart. It’s also hilarious to see Thor actually struggling to carry something. Tony finds it amusing too given that he’s not doing any of the work but it’s sipping mimosas next to you. Thor grumbles about getting all the heavy boxes, but you also know Sam and Bucky purposely avoid the big ones.

If someone were to tell you ten years ago that you’d be saved from getting tortured by Hydra and become an Avenger, you’d tell them they’re delusional, but this is your life. Even after years of torture and pain, you considered yourself lucky. You could have been the new Soldat, ruined over and over again to be a war machine, but now you’re a trained assassin like Bucky and Nat with a broken leg.

You lean yourself against a wall in your room with your crutches beside you (along with Tony, of course, that lazy bum). Steve, Bucky, and Thor are carrying in boxes while Sam, Nat, and Peter help unpack some things. Today is the day you officially move into the tower with the rest of your teammates and due to your current disability, the other avengers offered to help you. Another reason why you consider yourself lucky.

Peter is by far the most adorable on the team. He’s fully unpacking for you, even arranging the frames on your shelves and the organizers on your desk. He at point made your bed when Steve brought in your blankets and sheets. Bucky has been super sweet, too, giving you funny looks every time he passes by and asking where the best spot for the box he is carrying to go.

But the one “avenger” you didn’t expect to be as helpful as he is, is Loki. The others told him to move out of the way, not wanting his condescending attitude to ruin the fun day, but Loki started to carry boxes in as well. The first time, the avengers were stunned by him, but then they were gracious because he used his magic to transport them, making the job go by quicker. Loki just stands at the bottom of the truck outside and wipes his hand over each cardboard box, sending it to your room.

You really are lucky.

-

Two days pass by and you decide to ignore your laziness and finally unpack the rest of your boxes. You attempt to push some photo boxes on the top of your shelves, but you find yourself stretching so hard to reach the top. Your foot injury really is stupid and you just want to be able to normal walk, or jump, or even go on your tip toes.

Then you hear a sly chuckle coming from behind you. You let out a frustrated sign knowing exactly who it is.

“Loki, if you’re going to stand there and laugh at me, could you least help me and laugh at me?”

“Of course, darling.” He jokes.

He comes up behind you and takes the box from your struggling fingertips and carefully paces it on top of the shelf.

“Is there anything else you helpless being needs help with?”

“I could use help with hanging my window curtains.”

You point to the box in the corner with your large sheer curtains folded in them. He chuckles and goes over the box, carefully picking them up and hanging them on the frame. You can’t help but notice his figure as he hangs them. He is a marvelous being and who are you to deny your eyes of such a sight?

The sight in front of you proved that you are lucky

-

Tony gathers the group for a game night and it results in everyone becoming drunk and children. At some point, it becomes a truth or drink game night and everyone has their poison. You have your legs laid over Loki’s lap, who was really hard to convince to join the game, and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in your hand, only because Tony didn’t have anything else. Loki’s slowly running his fingers over your legs, but higher than your cast.

“Okay, Steve,” Natasha coos, “your turn. Have you ever done drugs?”

“I did marijuana in high school once.”

The whole team gasps and whistles at his answer.

“Captain ain’t so wholesome, now, is he?” Sam cackles.

“I remember that night,” Bucky laughs, “You were so high.”

Steve chuckles and nods his head before looking to see you cuddled up next to Loki and gets a wicked idea.

“Loki, you’ve been quiet. Your turn.”

“Please no, I’m beyond your little games.”

“Aw come on, brother! One question won’t hurt you,” Thor laughs.

“Who in this room would ever kiss?”

Tony whistles and takes a sip of his drink as everyone else laughs. You can feel the ice giant get slightly warm out of embarrassment. His face is flushed with a rose pink color as you get nervous, lightly chuckling to himself.

“I uh…”

“Answer it. Answer it. Answer it.” Sam chants.

Everyone chuckles at the clear uncomfortableness of the god, not seeing him like this often.

“Y/N.” He whispers, almost too quiet for you to even hear.

“Louder, brother. I couldn’t hear you,” Thor says innocently.

“Y/N.”

You smile up at Loki in shock. He won’t look down to meet your eyes but stares straight out the window past Tony. The entire team cheers and chuckles.

“Oh, we’re never letting that one down.”

“How lucky am I?” You laugh.

-

You attempt to cook yourself some lunch but your stupid cast is getting in the way of moving around. It’s getting tiring to pick up your crutches every time you need a tool two feet away from you. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you hit the edge of the counter with the spatula in your hand.

“What is wrong, dearest?”

You turn your head to see Loki standing behind you with a concerned look on his face, this time not here to make fun of you.

“I’m tired of my stupid foot getting in the way of doing normal activities.”

“Darling, sit down. I’ll make lunch for you.”

“Loki, you really-”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

Loki picks you up and sets you down on the couch while also handing you the remote. He goes to the kitchen and attempts to resume your lunch.

“Sweetest, what are you cooking?”

You laugh really hard at his confusion.

“Fajitas.”

“What are those?”

“See Loki, it’s fine! You really don’t have to.”

“And I’m not going to. I’ll make Stark do it.”

Loki orders JARVIS to get Tony and finish making lunch for you. You laugh and shake your head at Loki as he sits down beside you on the couch. He starts to run his fingers through your hair but keeps getting caught in the tangles.

“Why is your hair like this?”

“It’s hard to do anything while standing up. I can barely brush my teeth without falling over.”

“Well, it looks like I’ll do that for you, too.”

“Loki, I swear if you-”

“No point in arguing. I’m going to assist you.”

You rolls your eyes at the cocky god as he smiles at you. Nuzzling your head into his neck, Loki holds you tightly in an embrace. Tony comes in to see you two cuddling and shakes his head.

“You are so lucky we love you.”

-

You wake up the next day to see Loki sleeping beside you on your bed. You try to remember anything that happened last night, but you were so tired, nothing comes to mind. If you didn’t have a broken foot, you would be concerned about waking up next to a god, but you also know he wouldn’t have done anything with your injury. He’s too kind (much to some disbelief).

“Good morning, darling.”

Loki leans over to you and kisses you on the forehead. He wasn’t as asleep as you thought he was, but you’re not complaining. Waking up beside this adonis isn’t the worst way to spend a morning.

“Good morning.”

“I don’t care what you say,” Loki smiles, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “you’re staying in bed and I’m waiting on you.”

“That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“I’m glad someone learned something last night.”

“Actually, I don’t remember a lot from last night. I was tired.”

“We bickered about me waiting on you, hand and foot.”

“Hmm, that sounds about right.”

“So, today I’m treating you like a proper princess.”

“Does that mean we’re together?”

Loki looks at you confused, but his face lights up when he realizes what you’re implying.

“I suppose so. In that case, my princess, I will wait on you.”

You watched as the god all day served you lunch and dinner. He brushed your hair and teeth. Helped you change clothes. Played your music to cheer you up. Even carried you to the bathroom when you had to go.

Thinking about all the things your friends have done for you and all of the things that Loki, your prince, has done, all you can say is how lucky you are.

[askaceattorney]

So, it looks like we have a bit of a situation here at the Ask Ace Attorney Agency (or “quadruple-A” for short).  We’re now minus one Mod, and with me being semi-retired and the other Mods busy with real-life stuff, Chief Mod Edgeworth is pretty much on their own at the moment.  I have no doubt they can handle it, but it’s still a lot of work for one Mod.

Basically, what I’m trying to say here is, uh...

You guessed it, it’s time for another Modition!!!

That’s a play on “Mod Audition,” for anyone who didn’t catch it.  So, if the idea of pulling some strings here at the AAAA appeals to you, here are the rules (they’re the same as before, as Chief Mod Edgeworth mentioned):

How to Submit your Application:

Make an official Tumblr account, if you don’t have one. You will not submit an application as anonymous and sending us your contact information will not convince us to contact you any other way.  

Submit your application on the submission page here with the title “Mod Application” and no tags. These applications will only be seen by us Mods, so there is no need to tag anonymous.  It’s recommended to submit your application on a desktop.

Write your application in a cover letter format. Here is a video to give you basic instructions on how it should be done, if you don’t know how to write a cover letter or a resume: How to Write a Cover Letter - YouTube

In your letter, include why you want to be a Mod, including your interests and love for the Ace Attorney games, in the first paragraph. The second paragraph must include your knowledge of the games and the names of each game you’ve played. This also includes official mangas, artwork books, casebooks, the anime, the orchestra, the plays, the live action movie, the DLC asinine cases, etc. While it may not be required for your knowledge of everything Ace Attorney, aside from what is canon, it is important to include what knowledge you have outside of what is required. The third paragraph must include what skills you have to be a Mod, including any computer software you have. Include links to any work you’ve done in and outside of Tumblr. This includes any skills or works not included under Recommendations to be a Mod.     Make sure to include a closing paragraph before ending the letter. State that you promise to follow the rules as a Mod and meet the requirements to be a Mod. See Recommendations to be a Mod to know what is required to be a Mod and Rules as a Mod to know what rules you must follow to become a Mod.             

Once you send your letter, we will contact you via PM. This will be the Interviewing Process, which may last a month or more, depending on how long it will take for us to be sure of who to hire as Mods. You will be required to respond to us as each of us ask you certain questions. Be sure to continually check your inbox as we expect you to respond in no more than three days. If you don’t respond after three days, you will be disqualified, and we will not respond back to you. We will be sending you letters via PM for no more than a month. This will be the interviewing period. Some questions may not have anything to do with being a Mod and may be casual conversations.  This is our way of getting to know you better and how you will communicate with us.

Keep in mind there is a chance you may not make the cut. If that is the case, don’t look at it like a loss. Neither Chief Mod Edgeworth nor Mod Justice made the cut the first round. It’s likely that we’ll have too many participants to choose from. Just be sure to leave an impression on us, whether or not you have made the cut. Chief Mod Edgeworth will likely give you a PM, if we need an extra Mod for whatever reason.

Recommendations to be a Mod:

A laptop or computer.        

The skills and software to create gif’s and sprites.

Basic English letter writing skills.

Knowledge of the Ace Attorney games (recommended to have played the games fully, but we do count watching gameplay like walkthroughs of the games): A. Ace Attorney Trilogy (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Justice For All and Trials and Tribulations)   B. Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney   C. Miles Edgeworth Investigations 1 and 2 D. Ace Attorney Dual Destinies E. Ace Attorney Spirit of Justice F. The Great Ace Attorney 1 and 2 (you don’t have to have played the game, but do include if you haven’t played the game or watched game play of these)

An hour or more of your time to be able to answer three or more letters a day.

A Tumblr Account with the knowledge of how to use Tumblr.

Rules as a Mod:

Answer every letter as the canon characters of Ace Attorney as if the character was answering a letter from a fan or friend, depending on who is sending the letter.      

Don’t include any theories or non canon ideas in those letters. Head canons are accepted, if they fit within canon.

Don’t make any ships canon to this blog, if they aren’t canon to the game. Wrightworth will not be recognized in this blog, even though it’s Chief Mod Edgeworth’s OTP. If the ship is one-sided (Apollo x Juniper), then it remains one-sided. If it’s canon, but one character dies, such as Mia x Godot, then it shall remain that way. If they are ex lovers, but there are hints they may still have feelings for each other in canon (Ex: Phoenix x Iris), then it shall remain that way. If nothing has happened between the duo, then nothing happens.

Don’t randomly make posts without the consent of the Head Mod.  This especially includes Farewell Letters.

You may answer comments from fans in the comment section of any post, especially when informing about mistake corrections, but please be respectful.

Be willing to fix any mistakes or errors you made in a previous post, if the one writing the letter is complaining about a mistake. People will respect you for it. It does not matter if you worked hard on that letter or if you think it’s stupid. You’re not the one that wrote that letter and if you have made a mistake in responding to it such as getting the wrong character sprite, spelling a word wrong, answering as the wrong character or even getting something canon wrong, FIX IT!  Don’t be a jerk about it, if you’re being corrected. If you make a mess, you clean it up like a grown adult.

If you have an issue with any of the other Mods for whatever reason, please talk to the Mod you have an issue with or else let the entire group know. Nothing will ever get resolved by staying quiet or sneaking around. It just makes you look like a jerk and a traitor at worst.    

Please do not give away the username, name, address, etc. of any Mod. Even if they have already given away their original account or whatever information, including pictures of themselves, on a separate post(s), that is still considered an invasion of privacy. Using what is already considered public information is different from using what should be considered private information. If you’re going to use any private information, you need the consent of the other person to do so.

It’s fine to have different opinions, OTP’s, religions, interests, politics, etc., but don’t allow it to be an issue or bring it to the blog. If those differences are making you uncomfortable for whatever reason, you have the right to leave the blog, but PLEASE let us know and how you intend on leaving BEFORE you do so. It’s not worth dragging this blog through the mud over a disagreement, especially if you have no knowledge or understanding as to why the other Mod(s) may feel or think this way.

Be active. If you need to leave for a certain period of time or cannot post any letters, please let us know before the end of the day. If you need to leave the group, please let us know and we shall take the steps for you to send a farewell letter.

Be friendly and respectful.

Have fun.

Best of luck to everyone who applies!  And don’t be shy -- if you think you have even a slight chance of being picked, go for it!

-The Co-Mod