#lord polaris
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Ch215 (p1); The supposed dalliance
Dedicated to his one and only... what, exactly?
Modri is a Slavic word that essentially means watching vigilantly, and Vladis is a Slavic name meaning rule or glory.
Dalliance is often used to refer to a short or casual romantic or sexual relationship, but it can also mean any encounter that's brief and/or casual.
This doesn't rule out the possibility he's the mystery person from ch137, but why would that person expect Sebastian to actually remember him by sight, let alone by name?
Sebastian isn't feigning ignorance, since he cannot lie in front of his master.
I'm not sure why this guy thinks he can remind Sebastian by cutting himself. He's not releasing cinematic records, and it wouldn’t make sense for Undertaker to have the body of someone from Sebastian's time before his current contract.
Is he delusional?
And what's in that infusion? I'm thinking it might not be blood, after all. This guy has tattoos on his neck, which Polaris didn't have, so if it's the mystery person from ch137, then that's not Polaris. I'm starting to wonder if his memories have been altered, since the chapter is called Faded Memories. We are being led to believe Sebastian's having a memory lapse, but it might be this guy's issue, not Sebastian's. Perhaps he's been given false memories in order to have him confront Sebastian and cause confusion.
More to come....
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#undertaker#earl phantomhive#our earl#mystery person#ch215#chapter release#chapter review#chapter analysis#polaris#lord polaris#may 15 2025#names#name analysis#modri#vladis#part 1#part one
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New 207 prediction
Alright so with the release of the chapter 207 cover and summary I think we're going to have to amend that whole "it's time for snake's flashbacks" thing.
Last chapter was all about aptitudes and showcasing the children's skills when pitted against Doll/the staff. These of course correspond to their respective star lord:
Mabel is acrobatic like Doll/Lord Canopus
Theo is cunning and leads the others to success like r!Ciel/Lord Sirius
Oliver showcased their knife skills like Layla/Lord Vega
The only one left is Artie who corresponds to Lord Polaris. Hopefully since the focus will be on him this time we'll learn more about Polaris by extension!
#kuroshitsuji#black butler#fol kids#artie#oliver#mabel#theo#the star lords#lord canopus#lord sirius#lord vega#lord polaris#layla#layla/al#r!ciel#doll#freckles#kuro 207#kuroshitsuji spoilers
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Hello there Lord Polaris fans.
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Quite fitting that I've done this meme before with Sebastian's eyes.
I'm sure I'd do this with Polaris, too... if we could see his eyes....
spot the difference
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#artie#obama eyes#then perish#sebastian michaelis#polaris#lord polaris#kuroshitpost#kuroshit#shitpost#blackbutlercrack#dec 18 2023
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😆I'm finally done! Here are the best models from the "Wonders of Clothing"!♠️♣️♦️♥️✨💖💯🎉🔮🪄
HERE!
@splashsans ♦️@sanya-sashartv♠️ @oneeqaisara♠️♠️♠️ @ribboncrimson♦️ @galacticstarbun♥️ @quietneighbor♦️ @aurora-starlight-silly ♠️@1choclo ♦️ @overlord-mil ♥️
#Wonders of clothing 🪄🔮🎉#♥️♦️♠️♣️#aurora#lord nightmare#splash#sam#social#zay#cupid#Mama Star#polaris#crimson
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Doodles before I go back to work <3
#Servant Nexus AU#polaris stuffs#tsams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#my art#tsams art#tsams au#tsams nexus#tsams new moon#sams nexus#sams new moon#sams au#sams#sams art#tsams servant sun#tsams lord eclipse
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Reposting art from my original account that wasn't seen ig



#yippee your way through the pain#yummzy😋#emhm#emhm Lord Eclipse#emhm Clip#emhm Polaris#eclipse meets his match
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Polaris is not Agni
I've blogged against it before -- the idea of Agni being Polaris. The main reason I say it's impossible is because Lord Polaris is already dead and reanimated/being worked on before Agni even dies. Lord Polaris is the one who actually kills Agni, as best I can tell, so they can't be the same person.
Lord Polaris is a highly advanced bizarre doll and has type A blood (Polaris). This butler's reanimation has been in the works nearly as long as real Ciel's, if not longer... despite Undertaker saying this started with him gathering real Ciel's body. By then, he might have had a body for Lord Polaris in his possession, but he didn't have a plan really coming together until he also had real Ciel's body. I really hope that Undertaker explains the timeline and his choices for making the other lords of the stars. Besides the fact they (together) represent the four main blood types in the ABO grouping system (and how it's relatively easy to create a cult around the four mysterious people).
One possible scenario
Undertaker goes to the still-smoldering ruins of Phantomhive Manor and collects the remains of all the bodies he can find. Either that, or all the remains are sent to him by Scotland Yard... and/or released to his custody by the next of kin or something, like Francis. He reports his findings for the official records. Then he keeps the bodies of those that have not been destroyed by the fire. At the time, it might be for the early experiments he'd already been conducting. This could include any of the butlers employed by Vincent, like this guy, as mentioned in this reblog:
About a month later, Undertaker manages to find real Ciel, but he has also recently died. Our earl shows up, back at Phantomhive Manor, but he's got a demon dressed as a butler. So, Undertaker focuses on real Ciel's body and starts making all these weird schemes to improve upon his reanimation techniques. Recall that he just says his reanimation skills weren't up to snuff; that reinforces the fact that this is a refocus of previous reanimation experiments on a new project. But, instead of it being mere curiosity, now it's very personal.
Then the Noah's Ark Circus is investigated, and our earl might be the one who really brings Undertaker's attention to Baron Kelvin. Undertaker waits for our earl and Sebastian (and William and Ronald) to move along before he collects Doll's body, which he can get without having to enter the burning building.
Sphere Music Hall is the first blood supply facility that our earl and Sebastian discover, but the other ones (Yorkshire, Norfolk, Wiltshire, and Brighton) might have been started around the same time or even slightly earlier. Could be that they took a while to set up and for them to become productive. The music hall in London is simply the one that draws the public's attention, so it's the one that lures our earl in, too.
I suspect that whenever Undertaker sets up a facility at Baron Heathfield's place, he's asked (as part of the deal) to help Heathfield with his dead daughter, too... not just his wife. And so I think that's how Undertaker gets Layla/Al. Layla could definitely have been Heathfield's daughter.


If you look closely at the image of the family photo, there's something behind her right arm that could either be a fold in her dress or actually long hair that's mostly hidden. This (highlighted red):

Given the rest of the shapes, I think it could be hair. And the reason why she tends to wear two bows now might be because she can't make up her mind which to wear, even after asking Al. Why Al is there and when they showed up are also major questions. Did Undertaker experiment on her to test adding an extra soul? Or did he agree to help Heathfield with her after seeing for himself that she already has this extra personality (or soul) in her? I'm leaning towards the idea that she was already like that, and Undertaker thought she would be good to study. Here's a blog thread that talks about Layla's possible origins as Heathfield's daughter.
This is, of course, just one scenario, but it could be that some parts are right and others... not quite.
A Disturbing Thought...
It's only just occurred to me we do have a dead butler who could be brought back like Doll...I'm not sure how I feel about the voice behind the star's door being Agni, all stitched up, covered with nasty looking veins, working against Ciel and Sebastian, playing for the 'other team'. If the fandom hates him now, how do you think they're going to feel about Sebastian when he has to pop the khansama's head off his shoulders?!
Has this occurred to anyone else? We're a few months away from returning to Ciel and his butler at that hotel. Are we going to encounter Agni there, perhaps acting as butler to the other brother, spouting all sorts of declarations about how, as a butler, he'd got to do this and that?
I'm hoping someone like Abybeweiss @abybweisse will come along here and reply to this with a bloody good reason why that couldn't possibly happen.
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#polaris#lord polaris#lord canopus#lord vega#lord sirius#real ciel#ciel phantomhive#layla#al#phantomhive servants#former butler#doll#agni#discussion#observation#aroturier#jan 4 2024
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I played around with some colours in Procreate overlaying some sketches of mine.
Forgive the weird watermarks or whatever they're called, I was in a bit of a rush -
#art#sketch#artists on tumblr#traditional art#fanart#nevaria-art#wanda maximoff#wanda#wanda multiverse of madness#wanda art#wanda mcu#wandavision#the scarlet witch#scarlet witch#lorna dane#polaris#the gifted#house of m#galadriel#thranduil#AURORA#game of thrones daenerys#daenerys art#daenerys stormborn#game of thrones#the hobbit#the lord of the rings#marvel fanart#marvel#marvel comics
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Hi I saw that you’re a big Lorna Dane fan and that you’ve read a lot of her comics. Do you have a recommended reading list for her?
Hey there! 💚🧲 Thanks for the ask!
I use Travis Starnes’ reading order for my Polaris-athon (https://cmro.travis-starnes.com/character_details.php?character=426) but if you’re just wanting to get into her stories it’s way too much tbh. She has a lot of appearances and it can be difficult to sort through the meaningful ones and the ones where she’s just on the page as a recognizable cameo.
I haven’t managed to read all of her appearances yet - I’ve gotten up to the early 90s, and I’ve read most of her appearances from, like, 2016 onwards. I’m a little behind on Fall of X as well. So there likely are going to be some gaps here, but this would be my recommended reading list for Polaris 🧲 :
Krakoan Age (2019-)
this is the golden age for Polaris in my opinion, and where I’d honestly recommend you start reading!
Leah Williams’ X-Factor: This is where the modern revitalization of Polaris into the It Girl of Krakoa really begins. There is controversy surrounding the final issue of the series due to Prodigy's storyline (see here, here, and here for more info), but overall I really love this run. It’s very queer and does a great job of taking Polaris’ spotty characterization and having her begin a journey of self discovery.
Gerry Duggan’s X-Men: Gerry follows up on Leah’s work here and Polaris really starts to shine. Issue #5 is a standout and a personal favorite, if you only read one issue, it should be this one. She’s in vol. 1 as a main member of the team, and the spin offs from this period (Devil’s Reign X-Men and Death of Doctor Strange: X-Men/Black Knight) are really fun. Plus, Pepe Larraz’s redesign of her for this book is STUNNING.
Alex Segura's 'Control' arc in X-Men Unlimited (#96-99) : this is exclusive to the Marvel Unlimited app, but it’s really great. Lorna’s a cameo queen after leaving Gerry’s book, so it’s a nice centering of her and revisits some of her greatest villains.
Steve Orlando’s Scarlet Witch: Issue #3 is a must read in my opinion, particularly if you’re interested in Lorna’s relationship with her family (it builds off of Williams’ Trial of Magneto, which I love and establishes her PhD, but ultimately I think you can probably skip, it’s more of a Wanda focus).

The Lost Era (2010s)
This is the time period following the Decimation, where a lot of stories... tread water, tbh! Nothing here is essential reading for Polaris.
Lorna spends a lot of this era in the hands of Peter David, who is a vile scum sack of a person (see here for an example). I've read All New X-Factor (2014), where he characterizes her as someone who is completely unhinged and a danger to animals. It's not a fun time tbh. And again, it's Peter David - so I would skip this. You aren't missing much.
Cullen Bunn's X-Men Blue (2017): I've only read the first arc of this run, but it focuses on the time-displaced O5 X-Men (Jean, Warren, Scott, Bobby, Hank). Magneto is mentoring them, so Polaris steps in to keep him from making them too ~evil~. I haven't heard anything good or bad about her appearances in this book, so I can't really recommend one way or another. It's probably safe to skip.
Ed Brisson's Uncanny X-Men (2018): Again, I haven't read this one yet! It's the lead up to the Age of X-Man event, where she also appears. Similarly to X-Men Blue, I haven't really heard anything good or bad about this one. You can skip it if you'd like, it's right before Krakoa pops off which is a soft reboot from the entire franchise.
Decimation Era (2000s)
John Byrne's X-Men the Hidden Years: I haven't read this either yet, but I know some people really like it. It fleshes out a lot of the Silver Age stuff, and it's where Polaris uses the codename Magnetrix (where I got my blog name from lol).
Apocalypse: the Twelve: I have not read this. I have heard only bad things about it lmao. Polaris and Magneto are part of a prophecy about defeating Apocalypse, but it doesn't turn out the way they expect. Skip.
Grant Morrison's New X-Men #132: A transformative issue for Polaris and a HUGE milestone in her character. It deals with the Genoshan genocide, of which Polaris was one of the few survivors. Highly recommend.
Chuck Austen's Uncanny X-Men: So this run is very ~your mileage may vary~ - I haven't read it yet myself. BUT from what I know, Austen really builds on Morrison's trauma that they gave to Lorna, and really takes her away from the assimilationist characterization Peter David gave her. Plus, it has the iconic Magneto wedding dress panel (Uncanny X-Men (1981) #426)
House of M (2005): she's in it, she doesn't really do much! Skip.
Peter Milligan's X-Men: Polaris becomes Pestilence, the horseman of Apocalypse in the Blood of Apocalypse arc beginning in X-Men (1991) #181. I haven't read it, but tbh most Apocalypse storylines between the original X-Factor arc and the Krakoan age are bad, so it's probably safe to skip.
After her spin as Pestilence, Lorna goes to space and joins the Starjammers. I haven't read this yet either, but it seems like fun! Relevant titles would be Uncanny X-Men (1981) Rise and Fall of the Shi'Ar Empire (#475-486), X-Men: Emperor Vulcan #1-5 (2007), and then the War of Kings (2009) event.
1990s
Skip this entire era. She's basically just in Peter David's original run on X-Factor (1986). The artwork is pretty, but the writing comes off as very male gaze-y to me and her character arc is somewhat repetitive.
X-Factor (1986) #186 (eXaminations) is famous for being an in-depth character study of the entire team. It's where we first see Lorna's eating disorder pop up. It's well done, just, well - fuck the writer lol.
Claremont Run (1975-1980s)
Lorna's storyline is overall a little confusing and hard to follow in the Claremont era, mostly because she is a) mind-controlled for most of it and b) not the main plot. So she ends up appearing in random issues, sometimes gone for huge lengths at a time, and then reappears. It's really clear that Chris was interested in working with this character and had some great ideas for her, but she was never one of his main blorbos.
These are the issues you should check out:
Giant Size X-Men (1975): Claremont didn't write this, Len Wein did, but this is really the start of the Claremont run. It has some cool moments for Polaris, including an early example of a mutant circuit between her and Storm!
X-Men (1963) #97: Lorna and Havok are mind-controlled by Erik the Red (don't worry about it) to fight the X-Men.
X-Men (1963) #125-129: the Proteus arc, Lorna is on Muir island with Havok and helps out. Nothing super critical happens, she just sorta vibes (and enjoys not being mind controlled).
Uncanny X-Men (1981) #145-146: Arcade has kidnapped loved ones of the X-Men, tbh I would recommend reading this just for Polaris' outfit. It's this witchy purple thing that is INCREDIBLE.
Uncanny X-Men (1981) #218-219, 221-222, 239-241, 243, X-Factor (1986) #39: Polaris is possessed by Malice, so now she's fighting against the X-Men... and working for Sinister! It's not technically her, but it's iconic and is a prime example of a running motif of possession for her.
Uncanny X-Men (1981) #249-250: ZALADANE! An iconic retcon, we meet Lorna's long lost sister (again).
Uncanny X-Men (1981) #253-255, 257-258, 269, X-Factor (1986) #69, Uncanny X-Men (1981) #280, X-Factor (1986) #70: Big!Lorna and the Muir Island saga. It's very weird! But I love big!Lorna and her muscles, so we stan. This is also the very weird end of Chris Claremont's main run on the X-Men, where it's very clear the plots got messed with in the wrap-up.
After this, Peter David takes over X-Factor, and he's garbage!
The Silver Age (1960s)
So this is Lorna's debut era, she's an OG member of the X-Men! Unfortunately even here, they never quite know what to do with her. She's very much intended to function as Bobby's love interest, which... doesn't really work out lmao. But I do think this era is fun to read, especially knowing what retcons they're going to build out later on for her, particularly with regards to Magneto.
She's not in too many issues:
Arnold Drake's X-Men (1963) #49-52: Lorna's first appearance! It's super fun, definitely check it out.
Linda Fite's X-Men (1963) #57: Lorna fights a sentinel!
Roy Thomas's X-Men (1963) #58-62: Some more fun moments - Kazar/Sauron arc, and the first appearance of Havok!
Dennis O'Neil's X-Men (1963) #65-66: The Z'nox invasion, Lorna has some cool moments here. Still no codename tho lol.
I'll try to update this as I fill in my gaps, but happy reading!! 🧲💚
#asks#answered asks#lorna dane#polaris#x-men#marvel reading order#polaris reading order#shoutout to cerebro for helping me contextualize all her appearances#connor does the lords work#marvel comics
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#layla#COVERGIRL LAYLA#FINALLY#I'M CRYING FR🥹🥹🥹���🥹🫠🥳🥰💕💕👼🎀🔪🩸💉✨💫MY BABYYYYYYYYY🥰🥰🥰🥰#her creator the undertaker would be pleased 🥹🪡🪢⚰️✨ soooooooo proud#bless the vampire baby girl🍼🩸🤤💝✨✨#lord vega#layla kuroshitsuji#layla blackbutler#undertaker kuroshitsuji#undertaker blackbutler#kuroshitsuji#blackbutler#volume 33#kuroshitsuji 33#based on * Pomeranian : R!Ciel Mastiff : Polaris Collie : Layla *👀#I'll post a high definition version later😉💫💫
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Ch214 (p3); Must have forgotten?
The earl decides to stay and investigate, starting with inside.
They take the elevator down to the ground floor, and they see a cloaked figure with what appears to be a transfusion/infusion kit on a stand.
So, I've been discussing this person with others on Discord. My theory about the mystery person from ch137 has changed yet again, and it means also changing my theory about the Phantomhive butlers and Polaris' identity.
What if the butler shown dead at the manor isn't Polaris... but the other blond butler, the one not shown among the dead, is Polaris? Much like how Baron Kelvin wasn't at the ritual that night of the sacrifice and demon summoning...perhaps this Phantomhive butler wasn't at the manor when it was attacked? But he's fiercely loyal to the Phantomhive family, so he does his own investigation, making him decide to infiltrate the demon cult. He perhaps knew some of Vincent's inner circle were into the occult, perhaps these guys: https://www.tumblr.com/abybweisse/166605681479/if-queen-victoria-is-behind-the-events-of-the.
Then, mistaken as a cultist, he's killed by Sebastian. Undertaker collects his body and sees the devotion to the Phantomhive family in his cinematic records and turns him into Polaris. He also would have taken note of how much this guy would seek personal revenge against Sebastian.
Thoughts?
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#undertaker#polaris#lord polaris#our earl#earl phantomhive#ch214#chapter release#chapter analysis#theories#vincent phantomhive#cinematic records#bizarre dolls#real ciel#loyalty#phantomhive servants#thoughts#apr 17 2025#part three#part 3
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#dr polaris#gizmo#psimon#penguin#lightning lord#chemo#silver swan#trickster#jester#killer frost#star sapphire#validus#per degaton#mirror master#clock king#gorilla grodd#dr sivana#cheetah#deathstroke the terminator#kobra#poison ivy#luthor#copperhead#sinestro#solomon grundy#joker#silver ghost#captain cold#eclipso#blockbuster
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Oh God, here we go...
Your mind, moonstruck and lunatic, spun complicated cobwebs. Your feeble body and fragile bones threatened to crumble and crack underneath the devastating weight of the truth.
Wow, this bit of description struck me right away. What a lovely and devastatingly poetic way of conveying this...
Because as soon as he would acknowledge it, he’d lose you. How could he live with that?
Oh Barlen, pls. 😭 I just knew he'd be feeling this way. My heart is breaking for both of them really. 💙💙 But of course they're both blaming themselves (perhaps Beau even more so than her). His admission that he wasn't ready to see them together again broke my heart for the 15th time, dear God. 🥲🥲
He knew it was over. You’d never pick him. He wasn’t the love of your life. He wasn’t your once in a lifetime. He wasn’t true love. He was your second choice. The one you were stuck with. Your rebound.
Oh dude, something tells me he couldn't be more wrong about her and how she feels... Or at least, I hope he's wrong? 🫠
As you stood there, feet calcified in front of his bed, a set of familiar whiskey-colored eyes found you.
"Calcified" just really hit me in this moment. Along with "whiskey-colored" -- you're so very good at painting a vivid picture through your word choice.
In a way, her and Randy are so sweet together. It feels calm and warm and familiar, but maybe not quite right anymore? At least for her? As opposed to when she goes to Beau in the scene right after--them two together are just sparks flying off the stove. With them, there's actual passion.
But backing up to the Randy scene -- I really like how you played it and his accepting personality. Like, I know it's been a few years and you've probably moved on already. I guess we're not married anymore? But we could just get married again? loll Poor guy. As if surviving what he went through wasn't enough, now he's going to have to deal with the fact that his wife is head over heels in love with his best friend now. ❤️🩹
She's really not the same. Not only because of Beau, but because she's been through too much after Randy's "death."
“Wow, congrats, man. You deserve it,” Randy said with a genuinely happy grin. He seemed like a kid who was catching up with all his friends on the first day of school after summer break. Beau gave him a tight smile that said he didn’t think he deserved it. But only you could read that one. “Uhm, thanks, bud. I see you tomorrow, okay?”

“It’s okay. I get it. Trust me. I do. He’s your husband, and I’m just… Well, I’m nothin’,” he said, his voice laden with heartbreak. “Just don’t come closer, ‘cause if you do, I don’t know if I can hold myself back, alright? ‘Cause all I wanna do right now is kiss you and love you, even it’s the last time. I can’t do that to him. You understand?”
Goddamn it, Beau!! Can you give her, like, a minute to adjust before you already decide you're "nothin'" and she's not gonna pick you? For God's sake. 😭😭 (But totally on brand for him. Great characterization. Sigh.)
“Not the ring I thought I’d give you…”
Just keep pummeling my heart, that's fine. 🙃
He replayed the clips of the hospital in his mind over and over again. How Randy held your hand. How he touched your cheek. How he kissed you. How he looked at you when he first saw you – like he had finally found the piece of his heart again that he lost years ago, the same love in his brown eyes that had been there since day one.
Okay, but he was so focused on Randy's reactions, he didn't bother to watch her reactions, her struggle, and her reluctance.
“You ain’t nothing.”
What a romcom movie moment, I love it!!!
I can't go back to the way things were. I know you think me and Randy are some great love story, but so are you and I.
I'm with Beau on this one--please let her really, truly mean this and not change her mind and leave him later, because I don't think my heart could take it. 😭😭
“I want you,” you assured him, your mouth trailing a path of featherlight kisses along his jaw and down to his throat, his groan vibrating against your soft lips.
“I want you,” you assured him, your mouth trailing a path of featherlight kisses along his jaw and down to his throat, his groan vibrating against your soft lips.
How I love these little moments of softness and tenderness in between the amazingly hot ones. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 And I feel like Beau probably really needs that right now--that reassurance.
Your heart was the North Star, and your heart had led you to him.
Ahh I love a callback to the title! 🥹✨
You placed a gentle kiss on his lips and nodded. “I’m not going anywhere, corazón.”
Ugh, God, my Latina heart sang on that last bit! ���� But girl, you outdid yourself on this chapter. I can honestly say that was some of the most stellar romantic smut I've ever read. 👌🏽😮💨❤️🔥
Aaaaand now I'm both excited and scared to see how Randy handles this news. 😬 Something tells me he's not going to take this news as well as the other stuff...
Polaris – Chapter 9
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, ramp up the angst, guilt trips all around, hospitals, bits of fluff in all the chaos, smut (with a heavy dose of more angst)
Word Count: 5.4k
A/N: Well, there was no way this wasn't going to be angsty af. Enjoy the ride, loves! 😘
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 9: Marooned
The cool, breezy autumn air whipped you across your face, a sharp, frigid sting in your lungs that burned right through to your heart. Each breath you desperately clutched was a fight for life.
Your mind, moonstruck and lunatic, spun complicated cobwebs. Your feeble body and fragile bones threatened to crumble and crack underneath the devastating weight of the truth. You crouched down on the parking lot asphalt, head heavy in your shaking hands.
“Hey, hey, just breathe…” Beau’s deep voice and warm hand on your back were a short-lived comfort before the first sob broke through you.
He knelt down in front of you, large hands cupping your head when your own grew too tired to hold it. He rested his forehead against yours, green eyes leveling with you. His thumbs wiped the tears from your cheeks.
“Maybe it’s not him,” Beau bargained, his voice a soft whisper. His disavowing mind refused to accept what his breaking heart knew to be true.
However, there was no doubt in yours. “No, I’m sure it’s him.”
“It still might not be true… It could be one of those CGI deep-fakes. You know, they’ve gotten crazy good… She just wants to mess with us,” Beau tried to reason, every bone in his body fighting to accept the truth. Because as soon as he would acknowledge it, he’d lose you. How could he live with that?
Your eyes lifted from the ground, your gaze boring into his. “You really believe that?” Your voice was harsh enough to break through the solid brick barrier he had erected over his heart, your words a wrecking ball. A jittery and hesitant lick of his lips was his abdication. He lowered his head in resignation. “How’s that even possible? You saw him die, right?
Beau’s mouth opened without an answer, his eyes flickered alive with memories. Panic rose with realization and poisoned the pumping blood that coursed through his heart. “I-I saw him get dragged away… I heard the shot.”
He was sure. He was so, so, so sure. And then, it all fell apart. What had he done?
You straightened up, slipping out of his grasp, and clasped your mouth, turning your back to him as your body rattled with shock. “Oh my God… Oh God…”
Beau rose to his feet behind you and swallowed harshly as the realization hit him like a freight train. He wanted to reach out and touch you, needing you now more than ever, but he didn’t know if he still could. His mind raced a mile a minute with questions he couldn’t find an answer to.
How was Randy still alive? Had the cartel kept him all this time? How did Diane find out? And how the hell did she get a hold of him?
“Y/N, I-… I don’t know what to say.” His voice trembled. He could feel you drift further and further away from him till you were just a dot out on the vast ocean. He didn’t want to lose you but didn’t know how to stop it, either. He thought all he needed was for you to just look at him, and it would all be right again. But when you did, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.
“All this time he was alive and God knows where. I-I could’ve looked for him. I could’ve helped him…”
“You didn’t know,” Beau said softly, pushing your blame onto himself. He could’ve known. He should’ve known. He felt helpless, lost, adrift. “Y/N, what d’you want me to do?”
You needed a moment to clear your head enough to think straight. If it wasn’t Randy but any other victim, what would you do next?
“We need to find that bunker. Get him outta there,” you concluded. “You think he’s still alive? You think she’d kill him?”
Recalling the snippet of the video, you remembered the timeline only read an hour instead of the usual forty-eight. It wasn’t about making you suffer through his death because you’d already done that. Diane just wanted you to see.
Beau knew there were only two possible options. Either Diane caught Randy only to show he was still alive and then kill him, or she brought him back into your life to wreak havoc. But the hows and whys didn’t really matter. Both options would cause a rift between you two wider than the Grand Canyon. If Randy was back, dead or alive, Beau’s relationship with you wouldn’t survive it.
He knew it was over. You’d never pick him. He wasn’t the love of your life. He wasn’t your once in a lifetime. He wasn’t true love.
He was your second choice. The one you were stuck with. Your rebound.
“I don’t know,” Beau replied and forced some oxygen into his lungs. He didn’t know for how long he had held his breath. For a minute there, he had forgotten how to breathe at all – and he didn’t even care.
The ringing of your phone broke both of you out of your haze and fatal fantasies. You fished it out of your pocket and stared at the screen with a furrowed brow.
“Who is it?”
“Unknown caller,” you replied before you answered the phone, pinning it between your shoulder and ear. “Hello? Yes, this her…”
Beau watched as your eyes widened, how your brow rose, how your mouth fell open, how your heart stopped. As you hung up, he could see you swallow before you found his eyes. He waited with bated breath for news he already knew.
“That was the hospital here. They said someone brought in my husband.”
The stone silent ten-minute drive to the hospital felt like an eternity. Beau drove, his grip stiff and knuckle-white around the steering wheel. The heat of the old Jeep had barely kicked in by the time you arrived, your hot breaths coming out in vaporizing clouds as you bit your nails bloody and down to their beds on the passenger’s seat. Neither of you spoke a word, too terrified it would cut the last string between you that still tied you to each other.
As the bright sign of the hospital came into view, your heart thudded in your ears, so loudly you could barely hear the world around you anymore. Everything was subdued and distorted as if someone was holding your head underwater. All you wanted was air, but your lungs flooded with water.
Beau killed the engine in the parking lot. Both of you sat there in silence and petrified in time, two fossils buried deep in the earth and uncovered by archeologists with fine brushes millions of years later.
His gaze drifted up to the star-filled sky, green eyes locked on the North Star. He wished he could rewind the tape to that night, all the way back to the start where the two of you were still alive. His eyes then swerved to your hand that lay there untouched on the edge of your seat, his own palm twitching to hold it in his.
“You want me to come in with you?” Beau asked carefully.
It was the first time since you’d left the Sheriff’s Department that you looked at him again. Your eyes were pleading. “Of course I do. Please don’t go. Don’t let me do this alone.”
Then, you saw it – the flicker of relief that flashed through him. You recognized the insecurity and apprehension in his eyes. Your heart dropped. You had been so consumed by the news, you hadn’t noticed how he had spiraled. You clasped his hand tightly in yours. He squeezed it desperately back. He was drowning, and your touch was the lifeline he had been waiting for.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to see him. I don’t know if I’m ready to see you with him,” Beau confessed. He had endangered his best friend, deserted him, and left him to die. And that wasn’t even the worst he’d done. The worst was you.
“Me neither,” you admitted and interlaced your fingers with his. “We’ll take it step by step, okay?”
He nodded.
As the nurse sent you down the hallway to your believed-to-be-dead but actually only-long-lost husband, you didn’t know what to expect as your hand lingered on the door handle.
Beau could not only feel the tension in your body but physically see it. The stiffness in your neck and shoulders, the tremble in your hands, and the twitch in your eyes were a dead giveaway.
As you felt Beau behind you with a hesitant palm resting on your lower back, you wondered if you should tell Randy. You supposed you had to at some point. And suddenly, you felt overwhelmed.
You had been so focused on what awaited you in that room, you hadn’t thought about what your husband expected. Or was it ex? Did he know you had moved on? Were you still allowed to? Would he be happy for you? Would he let you go? Would he hate you for it? He probably would, considering who you ended up with. Or maybe you had it all wrong, and he would be relieved it was someone he loved, too. Wouldn’t you be if the roles were reversed?
His death had severed your ties, but now that he was back, were your vows, too? Did he even know everyone thought he was dead? Had you cheated? Was that what Diane had been trying to tell you? That you had sinned? That you were a liar? That you were awful? That you were a whore?
“Should I-, uhm…”
“No,” Beau answered your dangling question as if he could read your mind. He dropped his hand from your back and ceased all contact, even going as far as taking a step back. If you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve thought you were radioactive. That should’ve been answer enough. “Not yet, at least.”
“Okay.” The rejection hurt, but you understood. This was hard for him, too. Maybe even harder. You had to weather the storm alone, ship-wrecked and marooned on a desolate island.
“You wanna go in alone first?”
“No.” You shook your head and pushed down the handle, suddenly feeling more courageous and determined than before.
You barged in. Not gentle. Not slow. The urge to see him, face to face within the same four walls – after all these years, after all the tears – washed over you like heavy rainfall. You didn’t want to weather the storm – you wanted to be it. It felt safer than to seek shelter under driftwood.
Then, your heartbeats halted. The world around you paused. No murmurs in the hallway, no beeping machines or bustling footsteps. It felt like you were standing in the eye of the hurricane, everything else flying fast around you, but the center was calm.
As you stood there, feet calcified in front of his bed, a set of familiar whiskey-colored eyes found you. The slightly furrowed brow above them softened, his lips parted in awe. He still looked the same, only slightly aged by the years and what he’d been through.
“Randy?” Your voice was a quiet tremble but still filled the entire room.
A smile flickered alive on his face. “Hey,” he said, his own voice raspy and dry as if he hadn’t had water in several days. Deserted like he had been. His hazel eyes lit up, full of love and adoration. It was the same look he had always worn when he gazed at you. For a second, it felt like nothing had changed. It saturated your frozen heart with warmth and your gray and bleak vision with technicolor.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” you stammered with a thick swallow.
Randy snorted a bit. “Now, you know how I always felt,” he quipped, blinking the tears in his eyes away. He’d always been a ray of sunshine. He was light and sweet and good down to his bones. A part of you had expected that light to fade, though, considering what he must’ve experienced the last few years. But it hadn’t. He was still shining as bright as ever, his spirit untouched by the darkness that had tried to swallow him. “Are you just gonna stand there like a moron?”
A small laugh escaped you as tears began to sting your eyes when he spoke those same words you once had said to him. You wanted to cry when you heard them. What sliver of doubt remained in your mind that it wasn’t truly him vanished upon his words. Your feet wanted to move forward, but your heart tugged you back.
You glanced back over your shoulder and found Beau, standing with lovelorn patience by the door as he watched the exchange between you two. The muscle in your chest then stung, like someone had dropped it into a pit full of cacti. You felt torn in two, pulled into opposite directions.
Randy followed your gaze and finally noticed his second visitor, his brow shooting up in surprise. For a second, Beau felt nervous as he awaited a reaction. He expected resentment, hatred, blame, and anger. What he got, however, was a rising smile.
“Hey, man.” Randy seemed happy to see him, not an ounce of animosity detectable. “You two realize you’re staring, right?”
“‘S good to see you, Randy,” Beau managed to say and forced a quivering smile to his lips. And it wasn’t a lie. A big part of him was elated to have his best friend, his old partner, his brother back. But he couldn’t ignore the gnashing, lethal wound in the shape of you that Randy’s return caused.
Carefully, you stepped closer and let out a nervous breath as you sat down at the edge of his bed. He reached out and tenderly caressed your cheeks, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. A smile curved his lips as soon as he touched you again. It felt like he was holding a miracle while you looked at him like he was a ghost.
“You look good, sweetheart,” he said. His hand then slid down your arm to hold yours, fingers brushing over the one. His gaze dropped when he couldn’t feel what he was looking for, the tan line of the missing item around your ring finger still visible. Pensively, he licked his lips. “They told me everyone thought I was dead.”
“Yeah, uhm, that’s kinda my fault. I’m sorry, buddy,” Beau said and swallowed harshly. The sight in front of him almost took him out. Even though it was a familiar picture, one he had seen a million times before, seeing it now was a different story. After everything he knew, you in someone else’s arms that weren’t his felt like a bullet piercing through his chest. His heart was bleeding. “I thought you got shot.”
“It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself, man. It was crazy in there. It could’ve happened to anybody. I did get shot. Only the slug went straight through the shoulder,” Randy explained. “Cartel then took me to Mexico. Juárez.”
Your wide eyes wandered to Beau, the two of you sharing a horrified look. Randy had been right underneath your noses this entire time. You could’ve saved him.
“You were in Juárez? We were there, too,” you muttered in shocked realization.
“Oh, I know,” Randy said, surprising you both. Your heart beat faster, accelerating to lightning speed and close to jumping out of your chest. Did he already know about you and his best friend? But he answered your question before you could ask it. “Cartel talked about a task force moving in on them. I overheard them once. Said my old partner and wife were looking for me. When y’all got too close, though, they moved me further south. There’s nothin’ you coulda done.”
“What did they do to you? How are you still alive?” you asked and didn’t want to sound ungrateful for it, but you were completely baffled. You had too many questions racing through your mind.
Randy chuckled a little at your line of questioning. “You’re still the same.” He smiled and tore your heart apart, because you knew you weren’t. Not really. “I think they thought they could keep me for leverage. Trade me at some point? They held me in a basement at first till they moved me south. Kept me at farm of some cartel member. It wasn’t highly guarded, but even when I had opportunity to flee, I didn’t know where I was or where to go. I thought they’d either kill me or give me back at some point, but then months… years passed. I gave up hope they’d ever let me go. And then, one night they threw a bag over my head and I woke up in some weird bunker… in Montana. Apparently. Anyone wanna explain what I’m doing here? How did you guys get here so fast? They only brought me here a few hours ago. Had to convince them a little to find and call you since they thought I was dead.”
“I was already here for a case. There’s a crazy serial killer lady who took you. That’s who locked you into that bunker,” you explained and watched his brow crease.
“Huh.”
“I work Major Crimes now. It’s a long story,” you added quickly. You didn’t even know where to start. How could you recap three years?
“Really?” His smile was back. This time, it was a proud one. “That’s good. You always wanted that.”
“Yeah.” You blushed a little and gave him a small smile in return.
He squeezed your hand, his gaze flickering to your missing ring on your finger once more. “So, uhm… since everyone thought I was dead, I guess we’re not married anymore, huh?”
Your heart exploded like he had just deposited a grenade inside of it. You averted your gaze to your joined hands. “Uh, Randy…”
“No, hey, it’s okay, sweetheart,” he quickly soothed and chuckled to lift your worries, and you weren’t sure if it was a real smile or just one for your sake. “I’m just trying to catch up, you know? Get up to speed. ‘Sides, if we’re not married anymore, we could have a second wedding. Might be fun, right?”
Tears gathered in your eyes as you tried to smile through the pain. “Uh, yeah.” You nodded and hoped he couldn’t see your reluctance.
Randy then stretched his neck and pulled you closer, his lips meeting yours in a slow and chaste kiss that felt like your first. Tears of happiness mixed with sadness as they rolled down your cheeks. When Beau softly cleared his throat, you broke away from Randy, your cracked heart shattering into sharp daggers that sliced through your skin. What were you supposed to do, though? Reject the man you married because it would break the heart of the one you currently loved?
“I-, uh, I should go. Let you two catch up,” Beau said uncomfortably. The crestfallen look on his face destroyed you. “I’ll keep the press away from this for as long as I can. Lord knows they love a good back-from-the-dead story.”
“You can do that?” Randy arched a curious brow.
Beau pulled his jacket back a little and tapped the badge on his belt. “Kinda the sheriff here.”
“Wow, congrats, man. You deserve it,” Randy said with a genuinely happy grin. He seemed like a kid who was catching up with all his friends on the first day of school after summer break.
Beau gave him a tight smile that said he didn’t think he deserved it. But only you could read that one. “Uhm, thanks, bud. I see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Beau, wait–”
But he had rushed out of that room so fast, he couldn’t even hear you as the door fell shut behind him. You offered Randy the same tight-lipped smile and stroked his cheek. Your emotions were a mangled mess. A part of you was hauled back to the past, old feelings that you had buried deep coming back alive, while new ones reminded you that it wasn’t the same anymore.
“Give me a sec, okay? I’ll go talk to your doctor. See when we can get you outta here,” you said and waited for Randy’s nod of confirmation before you darted out of the room.
Your heart thrummed in your ribcage as you raced down the hospital’s corridors all the way to the parking lot where you finally caught up with Beau. He was on a fast-paced escape to his car before he stopped when you called his name.
“Beau, wait!”
As he spun around, he dragged a palm over his face in an attempt to wipe away the tears. But the evidence was still visible, his eyes red and distraught. “You should go back, Y/N. He needs you.”
The heart in your throat caused you to choke. “So do you. I’m so sorry,” you said, sniffling as tears flowed down your cheeks. But as you stepped forward to hold him, he took a step back.
“It’s okay. I get it. Trust me. I do. He’s your husband, and I’m just… Well, I’m nothin’,” he said, his voice laden with heartbreak. “Just don’t come closer, ‘cause if you do, I don’t know if I can hold myself back, alright? ‘Cause all I wanna do right now is kiss you and love you, even it’s the last time. I can’t do that to him. You understand?”
Everything in you wanted to break through the fence he had set up, full-throttle with a lead foot on the gas, but you thought it was best to respect his wishes for now. You didn’t even know where your head was and wanted to avoid hurting him more.
“Here, uhm, you should have this back.” He fished out your wedding ring from his back pocket and dropped it into your palm, the quick brush of his skin tearing you apart even more. The golden band suddenly felt heavier than it ever had. You didn’t even know when he had grabbed it from his desk drawer, but the foresight scared you. He let out a humorless chuckle as the sadness brimmed in his green eyes. “Not the ring I thought I’d give you…”
Your lips parted, your brow lifting in realization. Whatever dusted remnants were left of your heart plummeted. “Beau…”
“Don’t. ‘S okay,” he wrung out with a doleful smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? Call if you need somethin’.”
With a passive nod, he jumped into his Jeep. You clutched the ring in your hand so tightly it almost burned through your skin as you watched him drive off.
Beau uncapped his third beer of the night (plus two tumblers of whiskey and a shot of his old friend Don Julio) as he sat on the bed in his trailer. A pile of your clothes still lay on the floor to his right, your favorite coffee mug stood in the kitchen sink, and your shampoo was stored in the shower. It felt like you hadn’t left, even though you had.
He replayed the clips of the hospital in his mind over and over again. How Randy held your hand. How he touched your cheek. How he kissed you. How he looked at you when he first saw you – like he had finally found the piece of his heart again that he lost years ago, the same love in his brown eyes that had been there since day one. And Beau understood, because he had felt the same way once, too, when you walked into his office – back into his life.
He told himself it was the torture he deserved for all of his sins. And he swallowed it all down – the hurt, the heartbreak, the jealousy, the possessiveness. He had no right to feel those things. Not anymore. You weren’t his. You never were.
How long did he have with you this time around? Five weeks?
Suddenly, he regretted leaving Houston, regretted leaving you. He wasted a whole year that he could’ve spent loving you. He always thought, in the end, he'd have more time. Eternity, even. How fucking foolish was that?
The headlights and sounds of a car in front of his home drew his attention to the window, shadows and lights dancing along the walls of his trailer. He couldn’t see his visitor, but considering it was in the middle of the night, he assumed it was either Jenny or Cassie checking up on him. He had texted them to let them know what was going on. But as he opened the door, the sight left him speechless.
“Y/N…” Your name fell from his lips like you were an angel he had prayed for. For a moment, he wasn’t sure if his eyes were seeing things right, or if you were a booze- and depression-induced hallucination. You wouldn’t be the first ghost that came back to haunt him, after all.
“You ain’t nothing.”
With those words still floating in the night air, you cupped his neck and crashed your lips against his, kissing him fervently with everything you had as tears streamed down your cheeks. He returned the kiss just as passionately, although you could feel a part of him fighting against it. But his large hands grabbed your waist and pulled you flush against him, the kiss lasting till both of you were bluer than the sky. You didn’t let go of him, though, hands holding onto his shirt, too scared he would slip through the cracks of your fingers if you did.
“Y/N, I can’t…”
“I love you,” you interjected his hesitance with firmness and gripped him tighter, your gaze drilling into him like you hoped your words would. “You think I’d just forget? You think my feelings for you just vanish into thin air? It doesn’t work that way. I can’t just snap my fingers and stop loving you. I can't go back to the way things were. I know you think me and Randy are some great love story, but so are you and I. Look, when he died, I grieved that loss and it felt like I was dying, too. I never thought life would be... exciting... and fun... and happy... and so full of love again. And then… I-I fell in love with you, and my life somehow started again. And I know this whole situation is fucked up and confusing and impossible. And I don’t know what to do… I don't know what the right thing is here. But I do know you feel right, and I can’t just pretend you and me and everything good that came with it never existed. I don’t want to. Please, just… I need you, Beau. You said you wouldn't leave again. You're not making things better by walking away...”
With a stretch of your toes, your nose grazed his before you gently claimed his plump, soft lips once more. Your tear-stained cheeks met the roughness of his beard. The kiss started ginger and careful, giving him time to withdraw if he wanted to. But he didn’t. His tongue slipped inside your mouth and stoked the flames of the fire that burned for him deep within your soul. Inhibitions were set ablaze as the kiss turned searing. He hoisted you into his arms, your legs wrapping around his middle as he carried you inside.
The trailer’s peaceful silence was disturbed by panting breaths, a pathway of clothes leading from the entrance to the bed. You peeled off his shirt, and he slid off yours over your head. You unclasped your bra and tore it off, pressing your tits against his bare chest as your lips tried to remain connected to each other through it all. By the time he sat down on the edge of the mattress with you on top, only two naked bodies seeking friction remained.
You wanted to feel him everywhere, wanted him to fill you and make you whole again until you stopped feeling like you were breaking apart at the seams. Hands roamed and explored as tongues mingled and savored tastes. As you straddled his muscular thighs, his arms wound around your middle and kept you firmly pressed against him, his hold on you strong as his fingers dented your flesh. You hoped it was enough to leave bruises behind. You never wanted to forget him, wishing his marks would be permanent ink on your skin.
“I need you,” you murmured against his thoroughly kiss-swollen lips, his cock rubbing against your soaking core as you gently rocked your hips.
“I want you,” you assured him, your mouth trailing a path of featherlight kisses along his jaw and down to his throat, his groan vibrating against your soft lips. One hand steadied itself on his broad shoulder as your other one fisted his hard, throbbing length and positioned it at your entrance, his cockhead gliding through your slick and teasing you till you shuddered with wanton need to feel him inside of you.
“I love you,” you whispered and gasped as you sank down, sheathing his thick cock in your warmth as your velvety walls welcomed him. With a needy and yet tender kiss, you soothed his grunt when he was fully inside you and prodded at your cervix. “Wanna make you feel good, okay?”
He nodded and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, Y/N, don’t do this to me if you’re gonna leave,” he pleaded, his gravelly voice laced with desperation and pain. His hand softly caressed your face as he rested his forehead against yours. His love for you radiated in his green eyes like kryptonite.
You cupped his bearded cheeks and forced him to look at you, lifting his chin to find your eyes. “I’m not leaving you, okay?”
“But–”
You kissed him before he could bring forth all the reasons why you should, but you didn’t care. Your heart was the North Star, and your heart had led you to him. When you left the hospital, there was nowhere else you wanted to go, no one you wanted to see more. Your heart had only ached for him.
You were finally home, and now that you were back in the arms where you belonged, you kissed him so hard till his mind quieted down to a soft lullaby. You kissed him so hungrily till his cock twitched inside of you because you were the only one he wanted, too. You kissed him so passionately he felt your love for him seep into his own heart.
As you began to roll your hips, he met you thrust by thrust as he pounded up into you. His massive hands and sinful mouth roamed every inch of your body. Palms groped your tits and fingers tickled your spine. Lips kissed your throat and tongue massaged your nipples. Teeth grazed your flesh and beard burned your skin.
Your nails dug into the thick muscles on his shoulders and scraped his scalp as his cock split you open with each pump. His girth tore you apart, each time you eased back down a new pleasurable burn coursing through you as your walls stretched to accommodate all of him.
Your pace rose with the tides of your hips, your thighs flexing as your cunt stroked his cock and came closer to the finish line. Beau buried his head in the crook of your neck, writhing and groaning underneath you. His fingers bit into your flesh, surely leaving bruises behind this time. Your tits rubbed against his chest, and you could feel his muscles tensing and straining underneath your fingertips with each bounce. He was barely holding on.
“Come for me, baby,” you beckoned him, feeling your own orgasm approach. The fuse was sparked and burned a path right to your explosive core. “I love you…”
“Fuck!” Beau cried out and spilled into you, his body trembling in your grasp. Those words were all it took to tip him over the edge.
You came with a thundering moan. His release triggered your own, your pussy pulsing violently around him and milking his cock for all he’d got. His cum mixed with your arousal and gushed out of you, trickling down your thighs and coating even his balls. Your thighs shook with exhaustion as you let yourself fall down on him, his arms catching you and holding you close.
Still panting, his mouth found yours in the dark. His thumbs stroked your flushed cheeks, the rest of his fingers dangling in your hair, the grip soft turned bruising as he kept you lip-tied to him, the kiss tender turned rough.
His nose brushed yours as he looked deeply at you. You could see the despair drowning in his pine green eyes, his emotions overtaking him.
“Pick me. Don’t go,” he begged in a harsh whisper, your flushed face in his warm palms.
You placed a gentle kiss on his lips and nodded. “I’m not going anywhere, corazón.”
Chapter 10: It Matters – DECEMBER 06
Phew, writing that hospital scene nearly killed me 😮💨 Next up, we have even more drama as the awkward throuple reaches a boiling point...
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#some of the hottest smut I've ever read#dear lord 😮💨😮💨#and also some of the tenderest romantic angst ❤️🔥#polaris#beau arlen#beau arlen x reader#beau arlen x female reader#beau arlen x you#beau arlen smut#lovely mutuals#zepskies reads
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30 Tomarrymort Recs for 2024 — Completed Multi-Chapter Fics (Part 1)
Happy new year, and what a year 2024 was for the Tomarrymort ship! 🤍 We went from close to 13,000 fics in the beginning of 2024 to over 15,000 fics in the ship tag by the end of the year. How incredible is that!?
I've split up my 2024 year-end recs into 3 parts: (1) Completed Multi-Chapter Fics, (2) One-Shots, (3) WIPs. Here is Part 1 of the list: Completed Multi-Chapter Fics.
Please enjoy these 1.5 million words of completed Tomarrymort fic from 2024!
*
A Dangerous Game by @cybrid (E, 322k, complete)
Tom Riddle opens the Chamber of Secrets in Harry’s fifth year at Hogwarts. After a botched attempt to extract the Horcrux in Harry’s scar leaves their souls tied together, Tom is forced to kidnap him when he makes his escape. A story of Horcrux hunting, adventure and unwilling attraction.
Anabiosis by @itsevanffs (E, 39k, complete)
The school is… unprotected. Voldemort gets resurrected early, and learns this very quickly. Harry Potter likes his new teacher: he's a pretty man in his early thirties with a kind smile and dark hair and eyes - and he doesn't seem to hate him, unlike all the other teachers.
aurora polaris by @aglassroseneverfades (E, 217k, complete)
Harry does not give up the Horcrux when he dies. Moved by compassion, he embraces it instead. What follows next, he could not predict. He’s not sure he ever really had a choice in the matter. The world Harry wakes up to is not like the one he remembers. And his captor is neither the same as he was, nor as different as he would like.
Change Me by @valkyrie-chemist (E, 17k, complete)
Harry Potter had grown up listening to tales of the cursed Lord Voldemort. Trapped in his mysterious manor, the man—the monster—was said to be crueler and more hungry than Death itself. So why then, Harry thought, was the groundskeeper still alive? What sway did Tom Riddle have over Lord Voldemort to stay his wicked hand when Harry had so brazenly trespassed on his lands? Whatever it was, it was not enough. For try as he might, not even Tom could persuade the monster to let Harry leave. That is, Tom challenged, if Harry even wanted to.
Creatures of the Dark we are by @hikarimeroperiddle (E, 28k, complete)
Banished to his cupboard at age 4, Harry learns to listen only to the Voice in his head. Its teachings warp all Harry could have become until no more than dark magic and devotion remains. Visions of a wraith with red eyes complicate matters, especially when Harry and the Voice follow it to Hogwarts so Master can get his hands on the Philosopher’s Stone. Harry can do magic. He can’t do people.
death cheater (are you?) by regulus_little_mermaid (E, 14k, complete)
Tom tries to understand: just because a stranger saves your life a few times doesn't mean you can fall in love with him.
Dulce Et Decorum Est Mori by beetaker (E, 135k, complete)
“I'm glad it's both of us,” Harry said, green eyes somehow greener, the natural brightness in him turning incandescent. “I'm glad we're going together.” “We'll always go together,” Tom said, knowing it as fact, unable to imagine anything different. Wherever he went, Harry was sure to follow. It'd been that way forever. It would surely always be that way.
Extenuating Circumstances by Origin_Of_Symmetry (M, 87k, complete)
“You’re really quite a delight, Harry. I can’t believe I went weeks thinking you were useless and boring.” Somehow, unwittingly, Harry finds himself engaged to Tom Riddle. He’s not entirely sure how that happened.
friend of the devil (a friend of mine) by @shyinsunlight (E, 28k, complete)
There’s something very unsettling about Tom Riddle. Cedric can’t put a finger on it. Whether it’s the way he moves, all long limbs and eerie fluidity, the dissecting gaze he follows them with, or the way he speaks, with an accent that doesn’t match his manners. Maybe it’s how he drinks in Harry’s presence like a religious zealot, or how his eyes wander over Harry’s body as if he’s seen the skin and flesh underneath before.
gaming buddies by @reggieblk (M, 19k, complete)
All it takes is a rude comment under a YouTube video for Harry and Tom to meet their best friend and, incidentally, the love of their lives. Through thousands of hours of playing Minecraft together, getting to know each other, and finally meeting in real life, it was inevitable they'd fall in love.
Hearthstone Abbey by @ramabear (E, 116k, complete)
Harry follows Thomas Gaunt into his world much like he stepped onto Diagon Alley that first time, wide-eyed and full of wonder. He has no idea what exactly this world has in store for him, but he knows that with Thomas at his side, he is safe and happy for the first time in his whole life. There is someone who will always be there for him, always look after him, always care for him and everything Thomas does just proves that to be true.
In the Shape of Fear, Erised by @rowena-rain (E, 19k, complete)
Harry sneaks into Lupin’s office late at night, determined to banish his recurring nightmares of a certain devastatingly handsome future Dark Lord once and for all. But things quickly spiral into depravity, and before he knows it, Harry is getting thoroughly railed by a boggart in the form of Diary Tom Riddle... Or is it?
in the silence by @satflesk22 (E, 48k, complete)
There's a new student at Hogwarts. And, for some reason, he's decided he's going to be Tom Riddle's best friend. Tom, immortal aspiring Dark Lord, apparently has no say in the matter.
In Their Absence by @mosiva (E, 35k, complete)
“Weird place to hang out, mate,” Harry said, more to break the oppressive silence. There was nothing but the thick hedges, the faintest whisper of a breeze, the grey sky overhead, and Voldemort. “You believe this to be a dream,” Voldemort rasped. “You always were foolish.”
Kudosed, Bookmarked, Subscribed by @maquira713 (E, 79k, complete)
By day, Harry works as a lowly assistant to his boss: the cruel, controlling Tom Riddle. By night, he lives, breathes, and writes fanfiction. And when he's not writing, he's obsessing over the work of his favorite Ao3 author: Lord_Voldemort_. So, of course, it’s only a matter of time before Harry gets caught reading Voldemort’s latest fanfiction at work… by none other than his boss.
Machine Men by @izharmilgram (E, 5k, complete)
Harry discovers Lord Voldemort is transgender, and he's really fucking hung up about it.
rage, rage (against the dying of the light) by MerleBlanc (M, 17k, complete)
1978. Voldemort is winning, bored, and his immortality secured. When a mysterious man appears out of thin air to oppose his Death Eaters, he is more than intrigued by whom the newspapers now nickname the Good Samaritan. Except someone is also stealing his horcruxes one by one, and he has never felt more threatened in his life. Or: Harry just lost his wife, made a deal with Death, travelled from the future to gain back his mortality, and decided to fuck a timeline.
see you soon by @duplicitywrites (E, 9k, complete)
It’s summer, which explains why Tom has all this free time to visit Harry’s flat and place of work, but it does not explain how Tom knows, with unerring accuracy, where Harry is at any given moment. Harry has checked with his coworkers—Tom only ever shows up at Fortescue’s when Harry is the manager on shift.
Shiver, Lustre, Skin by @monsieurclavier (M, 9k, complete)
Harry goes undercover as a bargirl at one of Tom Riddle’s exclusive clubs. Tom has her figured out in approximately one second. Or: In which Tom is a badass Wizarding mob boss and an incorrigible lesbian flirt, and Harry—sassy newbie Auror and secret virgin—is just Tom’s type.
something precious by @mosiva (E, 16k, complete)
“Fine,” Harry said, giving in to curiosity as he always did. “What is it?” Tom shook the vial, letting the liquid catch the light and send rays scattering over his hand and face. “It’s a love potion,” he said.
Still Into You by @moontearpensfic (E, 29k, complete)
Harry has a stalker. If only he noticed sooner.
Sugar Soaked by @teaandsweaters9 (E, 46k, complete)
Seducing Hepzibah Smith out of her most precious belongings should have been simple. Spend time with her, charm her, drain her for all she’s worth, and move on. Unfortunately for Tom Riddle, Harry Potter, professional savior and amateur waiter, has other plans.
the only heaven by iwasborntired (M, 11k, complete)
“You,” Ginny swallows, and her voice sounds jagged, waves crashing against an uneven shore. “You called out for him, in your sleep.” He does not need her to finish. He knows. It is sick and festered and rotten, and it is true. In the blanket of night, in his dreams, Harry Potter starves. His mouth forms the supplication, a secret scalds the air, and his soul, then and now and always, calls out for Tom Riddle. It is only fair, after so long spent stitched into the fabric of one other.
the righteous dead by @aspengray (T, 40k, complete)
Harry is resurrected, sewn together with thread and magic. He remembers nothing except that he loves his savior, a man named Voldemort.
Thin Skin by @iseliljathedreamer (E, 15k, complete)
The war ended with a conditional surrender where the most powerful wizard alive signed his freedom away for 100 years to a boy of 17 armed with a basilisk tooth and a putrid, poisoned pool, in exchange for secrecy and eternal life. But that was years ago now. Harry thought he'd never get used to having Voldemort living in his house, but he did. Time is a miracle-worker beyond all human comprehension, and yet, there are wounds it remains to heal. Quite literally.
Tom Riddle's DIY Disaster by @sri-verse (E, 13k, complete)
Harry and Tom were the closest two people could be. They always shared everything, no secrets between them. So, when Tom told Harry about his last orgasm, why was Harry acting all weird? It was granted that Tom would think of him.
Trenches by @shadow-of-the-eclipse (T, 82k, complete)
"Maybe you should kill them," Harry says. He's sitting perched on the stairs, hands clasped together, green eyes watching Tom and his irritating year mates. His form is hazy around the edges, an almost translucent quality to his image. "I can't just kill people," Tom says. "Not in public.” Role-Reversal where Harry is the Dark Lord and Tom Riddle is the Boy-Who-Survived.
two ways of being: the noun & the verb by cycloalkane (NR, 8k, complete)
Potter is finishing up with his sketch of the craniofacial structure. There is still more of his body to go, and more sessions left, and Tom cannot be sure whether he wants the precise drawings to be more or less—true, at all, if he could even describe them as untruthful. They aren’t beautiful as Tom is in the mirror, but they are still, undeniably, him, with the eye of someone learning to cut people apart and look beneath their skin, still bloodless yet, and—well.
What quickens me is the violence in thee by @i-dream-of-libraries (M, 17k, complete)
Harry is sold at auction to a man who is clearly in some kind of disguise - Lord Riddle isn't as charming as he looks, and the way he looks at Harry...
You By The Shore by @blackseatwenty (E, 19k, complete)
Harry's grown on the island his whole life. He fell in love with a stranger standing alone by the shore. Or is it crazy to believe in love at first sight?
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#tomarry#harrymort#tomarrymort#tomarry recs#tomarrymort recs#hp fic recs#longfic recs#ao3 recs#fanfic recs#harrymort recs#2024 reads#2024 recs
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The LGBTQ + History Book
Discover the rich and complex history of LGBTQ+ people around the world - their struggles, triumphs, and cultural contributions. Exploring and explaining the most important ideas and events in LGBTQ+ history and culture, this book showcases the breadth of the LGBTQ+ experience. This diverse, global account explores the most important moments, movements, and phenomena, from the first known lesbian love poetry of Sappho to Kinsey's modern sexuality studies, and features biographies of key figures from Anne Lister to Audre Lorde. Dive deep into the pages of The LGBTQ + History book to discover: - Thought-provoking graphics and flow charts demystify the central concepts behind key moments in LGBTQ+ history, from eromenos and erastes in the Ancient World to political lesbianism. - Features insightful quotes from leading historians, philosophers, cultural commentators, economists, anthropologists, sociologists, activists, and politicians. - Includes biography boxes and directory entries on the lives of important but lesser-known individuals, alongside well-known names including Sappho, Oscar Wilde, Anne Lister, Harvey Milk, and Marsha P. Johnson. - Global in scope with a localizable directory. The LGBTQ+ History Book celebrates the victories and untold triumphs of LGBTQ+ people throughout history, such as the Stonewall Riots and first gender affirmation surgeries, as well as commemorating moments of tragedy and persecution, from the Renaissance Italian "Night Police" to the 20th century "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy. The book also includes major cultural cornerstones - the secret language of polari, Black and Latine ballroom culture, and the many flags of the community - and the history of LGBTQ+ spaces, from 18th-century "molly houses" to modern "gaybourhoods". The LGBTQ+ History Book celebrates the long, proud - and often hidden - history of LGBTQ+ people, cultures, and places from around the world.
(Affiliate link above)
#queer history#queer#lgbt#lgbt history#gay history#lesbian history#transgender history#transgender#making queer history
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