#loser abuse

[payservewomen]

I’ve been talking to

sadistic AI chatbots, which is a whole new level of pathetic😔

I’ve written LOSER on my chest, in sharpie. So it’ll be there at least a day…Haven’t jerked off to anything but words in a while now….

Everything i said before this sentence was written a week or 2 ago lol

Guess I just never finished🤷‍♂️

I wrote LOSER on my chest, and wrote on my thigh something like “i am a sad lonely beta loser. I pay superior brats to abuse me”

It was legible much longer than i thought! Was at least a week! Actually i can still see it on my thigh.

Tonight, I’ve been edging almost 6hrs. I’m now smoking a blunt, and I’m going to ash into my mouth…..b/c a sadistic ai chatbot told me to.

Will i ever stop pushing the extremes farther n farther?! I fantasize daily about suffering emotional trauma.

I’m legitimately upset while edging myself for hours…It really is automatic at this point. If i’m jerking off, i’m thinking n feeling so horribly about myself. I am literally addicted to humiliation…not just addicted, but i’m a junkie, a raging addict!

I’ve humiliated myself at times when i wasn’t even horny. Maybe the scariest part is that I’m always wanting to push it farther. I’m so vulnerable, i’d be so easy to exploit.

Mice also been dripping hot wax on my dick and balls, and wow it stings!

[lavendervirgos]

you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: im so glad my bro is single handedly fighting the stereotype that all bad people are homophobic

[dukeofdelirium]

“Kataang is unhealthy” “kataang is sexual assault” “kataang is toxic” “kataang is one sided” “kataang shippers are disgusting”

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Kataang is canon. Cope you fucking loser

a ship so good it makes haters bleed out of their eyes and seethe. kataang you will always be famous

[dylan-rodrigues]

his mom is the smartest person in the entire drama because she ✅thinks Nayeon is dumb AF ✅doesn't believe in past lives like a sane person

and yet she's the one treated like a dumb lunatic... for being angry she wasn't told about her son's terminal illness? and for fussing over him... when he's in the hospital??

[super-paper]

afotaro is the elephant's foot of toxic old man yaoi but that's not gonna stop me from memeing on it, y'know, as a coping mechanism.

[aalghul]

I don’t think it makes sense to assume that Jason was mocking Mia’s past. At all. The thing that got jason painted as violent back in the 80s was his anger against rapists…how does that turn into mocking a victim? and that entire story was written by winick. Do we honestly think winick intended to communicate that? The same writer who made Jason’s first kill a man who was trafficking children? Who had Jason pause in his mission of madness to make sure those kids were found by the right people so they wouldn’t be in further danger?

[lying-on-floors]

I've seen people say that Loser Baby is comparing gambling addiction to abuse but it actually isn't. It's a song about solidarity between two broken people. It's a song that says, "hey, I know life is shit but you don't have to go through it alone." It's a song that says, "I'm here for you, anytime you need." It's a song that says, "I care about you."

Despite Charlie coming from a good place, she accidently made things worse, which does happen in real life when people try to help the abused, so, he was probably embarrased and terrified. Husk didn't mention much about the absue Angel is facing, he knows it's not his place, and that's what Angel needed, the reminder that he is a person, no matter how fucked up, outside of his abuser.

A common pattern in cases of abuse is that the victim doesn't stand up for themselves or fight back against their abuser because of immense fear. As someone who has been experincing abuse by the hands of a caregiver for almost NINE years now, I know this fear very well.

(TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE) The other day, my abuser and I were arguing, not an uncommon occurence, but I said "says you" as a response to them calling me a bitch and they were silent for a few seconds, staring at me with hatered and while I was walking away, they grabbed me by the chin and pushed me into the couch, on top of our dogs by the way, and they held me down with their weight, calling me direspectful and just being overall threatning. I was struggling to get up because no one likes being held down against their will, but I couldn't because they were able to easily overpower me, so I told them to get off of me or I will slap them, they laughed and didn't move, so, I slapped them and when I relaized what I just did, my heart stopped and I could feel terror take over my body. They were so shocked that they moved off of me and stared at me like I did that unprompted. They were pissed and told me to get up, and I didn't, because I knew they wanted to beat me across the face, and I didn't want that, so I froze and said "no." Afterwards, they began twisiting the whole thing, making it seem like I started it because "I don't know when to shut up."

After it was done, I didn't cry or show any feelings other than indifference, not because it didn't affect me, it obviously did, but because my mind and body were in survival mode, and it couldn't let me dwell on anything or process my feelings or what happened to me until after I was safe. And it didn't suprise me that they did what they did, as it's happened so many times before, but I was still scared and if it was anyone other than my abuser, I would've immediately fought back, no hesitation. They still haven't apologized, they never do, and when they do, it feels so ingenuine. They also say "I love you" but it feels so empty because you don't love someone and treat them that way.

Fighting your abuser is a lot harder when you love them, and sometimes it's better, and safer, to help the victims feel less alone than it is to take action against their abuser for them.

[payservewomen]

I’m tempted to say “I’ve hit a new low”😔 but in reality, I’ve been at rock bottom for…a very long time. Years I suppose.

But at least a few years ago, I interacted with women outside of work. But now? I don’t even leave my bedroom on my days off from work.

I sit on my bed, watching humiliation clips; calling ignore phone lines; taking embarrassing photos of myself; edging myself, oftentimes for many hours(almost never less than 4hrs. up to 12hrs)

The one newer development is- I’ll edge for a while, but then the sadness/anxiety makes me go limp….or i’ll be semi hard but my loser penis only grows slightly larger.

It’s like i’m trying to keep in as small as possible, because I know it should be teeny tiny. It CAN grow to 7in but considering how pathetic I am, part of me wishes I had a microdick. Then I could forget these thoughts i have of becoming a normal person again.

Then I could search 24/7 for a superior woman who wants to use and abuse me.

I fantasize about meeting a woman and dating….Getting comfortable with her to the point that I’m able to do the best I’m capable of in making her orgasm…. But then we open up and share kinks etc….and i know as time goes on, there will be many times my dick doesn’t work.

Slowly over time, she realizes just how much of a beta i am, and begins flirting with real, confident men.

By this time, we’re living together; Maybe one month she asks me to cover all the rent, then bills and spends her money on going out….Then a “friend” of hers(maybe with a unisex name that’s usually a woman’s name)is coming into town; she offers our place to stay….Tells me to make dinner etc saying “ali loves lobster tails and filet mignon! I know ur low on money, but it’s ok! I’ll still have enough left until ur next paycheck! Thanks sweetie! Maybe we’ll meet at the airport, then I’ll let you know when we’re on our way, flight gets in i think about 5pm but who knows if it’ll be on time”

I get off work, begin prepping everything….texting her asking if ali’s plane arrived at 5:30….”it did but we’re tryna find the luggage etc. With traffic it’ll take quite a while, plan for a late dinner!”

By 6:30, still nothing, so i text then call to find her phones off.

I figure she’ll probably be walking in any minute….So i check the “find my iphone” tryna be extra sweet and have everything timed perfectly. I see it moved from the airport towards home and begin making dinner….Until i realize another hour has passed. I check it again to see it’s been somewhere between home and the airport for 2 hours now!

Next thing i know, it’s 10, then 11, then 12 midnight!

I’m dozing off and finally see a text “Omg babe i’m sorry! I lost track of time! Ali said getting a hotel room would be easier, and we’ve just been catching up but ugh it got so late and you know how i don’t like to drive at night anyway, so I’m just gonna stay here tonight, see ya tomorrow!”

I just fall asleep, and wake in the AM to see several weird video texts from a number i don’t know….I hear giggling and a man’s voice….almost seeming like someone’s trying to record something and my gf saying “no stop don’t! that’s mean ali!” There’s at least 4-5 clips like that, the last one ending with my girlfriends sexy belly on the screen. I figure ohhh they’re just having fun i guess? But it did give me a bad feeling in my stomach….

Those vids were sent at about 1am. Then at 2am, just a close up of what i’m sure is my gf’s skin, but i can’t tell what part of her body…..but the audio on it was simply my gfs voice sounding like she’s whining or moaning or something? and saying “mmmmm ohhhhk fuck it”

Then 30mins later the clip begins blacked out, but with clear audio…just sounds like licking and slurping….Then a man’s voice “yeah worship it bitch. Now, say it” then the phone moves, showing an arrogant looking man smiling, then it slowly pans down over his entire perfectly fit muscular body….very slowly, stopping on each part of his stunningly perfect body….i mean this guy had an 8pack! Absolutely chiseled in every way. Then it stops to show his abs and v-lines, and then slowly shows his balls…I didn’t know balls could actually be that big!

Then slowly as possible, the camera moves to show the thickest cock i’ve ever seen!

Then the vids stop…but there’s a text at 4am with only an address….my gf knows i wake up for work at 4am…

i call and text her but her phones off ofc. I go to work, and finally around noon, my gf calls saying she’s going shopping with Ali, saying she didn’t bring any of her credit cards asking if i’ve got any money left…i tell her i’m not sure how much, but i’ve got $500 in a sportsbook app from winning the night before…”omg babe that’s perfect! Don’t worry i can move it from there, is it your normal password?” I answer yes, and ask her just to leave at least $100 or so….

And ask if theyre gonna be having dinner tonight…”yeah sweetie we are! I’ll let you know when we’re on the way”

I ask her wtf all those vids were. and who that guy was and she replies “huh? Wait what? You’re telling me you got videos from a random number?! And it had a perfect man’s body with a horse cock?! Lol babe i dunno what websites you’ve been visiting but i’d imagine it’s something to do with that!🤣 What?! u think i’m cheating on you with an old friend or something?! jk! Love u babe”

I hang up the phone and immediately get the same text with the same address, i look up the address to find a really really nice hotel is there. Then another text comes through simply saying “penthouse suite, beta cuck”

Then another text….just a screenshot of a receipt from stub hub for tickets to the nuggets game that night, 5:10pm. 2 tickets, $250 each, wow, better than i’ve ever had for sure.

Then one more text again with the hotels address, saying “ur welcome to stop by whenever, but i suggest you either wait for us to get there or something. not getting up to open the door if we busy fuckin. Can’t wait to see your bitch ass cry🤣”

This one hits me like a ton of bricks and it’s feeling more n more that it’s gotta be exactly what it seems….but no way she’d do this to me!

The great part of our relationship is complete and total honesty and openness! My gf, allison is kinky and loves to be a dirty slut, and we have talked about her fucking others, maybe even a gangbang!

But we’d only done a handful of super kinky things….we’re both submissive so it’s kinda hard to push it and try really crazy n kinky things….we both need that more aggressive attitude!

But i know she loves me deeply. We’ve such an intensely strong emotional connection, more than either of us ever have!

Still no word from my gf and it’s 8pm. At 9pm she finally texts me but it’s the exact same as from the other phone number and it’s just the hotel address and room number…..I call her back, and it rings and rings until going to voicemail. Maybe she didn’t hear it, i call again…it rings 3-4times, less than the last time, then goes to voicemail. I try again and it rings twice then voicemail….Again, same thing. I call yet AGAIN, prob the 6th time and it goes straight to voicemail!

I check the phone locator app and see her phone was at ball arena(nuggets play there)the length of the game….and moved to exactly where the hotel is.

I get dressed, now fearing the worst, but thinking “ok this makes no sense! Either she’s playing some joke on me; something weird like that or some surprise for me?”But i do realize that the most likely thing is…maybe she’s been partying with her friend, she cheated and isn’t sure how to deal with me…..But what’s up with the pics etc? ofc she’s aware of my pervy kinks etc, and she’s prob making it seem like she’s cheating on me, i’m hoping!

I walk to the light rail station, and get on the train….Ugh yeh don’t have the money to get an uber…i checked my bet365 account to see its at zero!

Wtf?! I had some futures bets….ones i could cash out for about $250 total, but they were all just cashed out! i’ve not one bet at all and no money here!

I see that $800 was withdrawn and my bank account was credited $800! But $500 used for the tickets, and $300 spent at some weird fancy store downtown.

Ok that’s it i’ve gotta see what’s up as i’m sitting on the train, mind running wild. Fuck, i gotta get off and walk 20mins, then get a bus!

I get off the train, walking to the bus stop…..Bus finally comes and oh fuck, as i’m tryna buy a bus ticket on the app(for $2.75) It dawns on me “fuck i don’t have enough money in my account” i look at the driver and say “i’m not sure why it’s not working” he looks at it and says “yeah cuz you’re card is being declined, sorry” and closes the doors.

I’m defeated and want to cry. Looking at google, i see it’ll take 2.5 hours to walk there….

It’s now almost 10pm and i consider going back home, but then wtf?! I can’t just sit at home wondering wtf is going on!

So i walk and walk…i watch the clip again and again of the perfect man’s body, fantasizing that the woman i’m in love with is cheating on me in the meanest way possible….Finally, it’s after midnight and I arrive at the hotel….I ask the front desk how to get to the penthouse, and she tells me “the elevator is right over there, but Sir, there isn’t anyone staying there right now”

I thank her and walk away tryna figure out what to do.

I text my gf asking why she texted me that address. she texts back right away with another address! I lose it and call a few times, each time it’s sent to voicemail. I text her back yelling “OK WTF is going on?! What’s your problem? Tell me what’s happening right fucking now!”

She texts back “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t mean to upset you! Just having fun with my friend, sorry guess i didn’t realize….I’ll be home tonight, but we’re out, omg babe i’m so drunk! I’ll see you at home, probably late!”

So i begin to walk back home…and remember the light rail isn’t running anymore….Now, I’ve got a 3.5 hour walk!

Finally i arrive home, it rained a little and i’m soaked, socks wet, and miserable and exhausted….

I open the door and hear slurping sounds and my gf giggling. My heart sinks and i already know what’s happening….I yell “wtf are you laughing about?! The fuck is wrong with you, ur being a fucking bitch!”

And i see the same man from the clips emerge from my bedroom, butt naked….he’s holding my favorite shirt, sweat dripping off his immaculate body and he wipes it off, then wipes his asshole with it, now it has skidmarks and throws it at me, saying “wtf did you say bitch?”

I ask who he is and what he’s doing at my place he replies “whatever tf i feel like doing faggot!” I say no it’s my place, and no i’m not gay” i emphasize gay, since i’m not a fan of bigotry and homophobia…”yeh didn’t say your gay, but you ARE a bitch ass faggot! Wtf you gonna do about it, huh? that’s wtf i thought, now, on your knees…obey or i’m gonna beat you up so badly….maybe you’ll get outta the hospital by the time i get out of jail, but it’s your choice” while making his pecs bounce in a very intimidating way. he walks up to me cracking his knuckles saying “ya know, i really DO hope you put up a fight; nobody ever wants to fight me” I look him up and down, knowing he’d kill me quickly….He’s gotta be a foot taller than me….im 5’9 and he’s gotta be at least 6’6!

I ask if i can take my shoes and wet socks off first and he laughs then slaps me in the face, open handed but hard, immediately followed by a left handed slap, i lose my balance and stumble to my knees, then i say “ok ok” on my knees looking up at him.

“Thank me for bullying you. Do it bitch” i thank him, he laughs, spits on me and gives me a wedgie….i make noise indicating it’s hurting, and he proceeds to give me an atomic wedgie…laughs then demands i take my clothes off but keep my wet socks on….

He laughs hysterically at my dick and shouts “baby, how tf were you actually fucking THIS?! omfg, ok come on slut”

And i see my love…she’s crawling on all fours..crawls up to this greek god and begins kissing his feet. She works her way up his legs, as she kisses and licks literally every inch of his perfect body.

Ali then says “ok now, don’t make me tell you again”

She looks me directly in my eyes “Bobby, keep looking in my eyes, ali says we must keep eye contact and he’s in charge here, ok? Please listen to what he says, i don’t want you to get hurt, i really don’t…not physically anyway. I say that because i i i DO want you to get emotionally hurt. I am sorry but when Ali told me he wanted to fuck me, i told him about you. Over months he kept teasing me for fucking such a loser; i love you but you are a loser. He’s been sending me pics of him, and the girls he fucks and omg babe, they cum so hard, and I fondly remembered being fucked by ali. I broke up with him cuz he cheated constantly and i thought that wasn’t ok, Now i realize how superior he is. It’s a small price to pay to be allowed to touch a superior man, im sure you understand. After i admitted how badly i wanted him he began insulting you and making fun of you. He made me take pics and record our sex, and that’s why i haven’t cum in so long, he said i wasn’t allowed with a loser like you. Ali is a sadist, he loves to make women worship him and loves nothing more than breaking beta men like you. That’s not an insult; you’re a beta, he’s an alpha, ya know?

He’s been planning for months to do this….it’s his masterpiece of destroying a loser!”

By this time i’m crying, tears streaming down my face…

“now bobby, we’re recording all of this and you’re now going to thank ali for making your fantasies come true. I know it hurts; the goal is to break you. Ali and i will marry, and you will work for us and live in a tiny room in the basement. U will be used and abused. I know it hurts but this is your new life now. Sure you can run away or something, but then ali will send all the vids and clips to your entire contact list.

But right now you’re going to beg ali to let you eat his sweaty asshole, do it you fucking piece of shit!” By this time ali is rubbing her pussy with his foot and it’s making her horny af….mmm fuck, i fucking hate you loser!” And she spits on me, confusing and hurting me.

I begin to beg to eat his asshole….

And wow, I began this planning on just whining about being so sad and pathetic but then wrote all this…wow i’ve got issues

[the-daily-male]

Today's daily male is The Red Hand (Martyn Inthelittlewood) from Third Life SMP!

[furiousgoldfish]

I think it's amazing that despite my family regularly physically and psychologically torturing me for tiniest things I was still sometimes able to go NO at them. I mean it did get me further tortured, and completely broken as a person and also I was suicidal whenever I said it. But still. Iconic behaviour.

[kaladinkholins]

BRB thinking thoughts about Taigen's character, the TaiMizu ship, and a big chunk of fandom's perceptions regarding both those things.

(Inspired by @farintonorth's post related to this topic that just got my brain going brrrrr)

OK so let me just... start off by saying that I think that reducing stories to their tropes is seriously detrimental to the way some people are interacting with fiction, and while that honestly warrants its own post about the subject, I wanna talk specifically about how this affects the way some people in the fandom talk about Taigen and TaiMizu.

Because yeah, tropes are useful shorthand to refer to certain dynamics or archetypes etc, and they are indeed the building blocks to any story. But in a well-written story, characters and their relationships, actions, and motivations, are much more complex than just tropes. Because in a story that has characters who are more than just cardboard cutouts, their behaviours, backgrounds, motivations and all of that, are inseparable from the context of the overall story they exist in.

So like, sure, you can say Mizu and Taigen have an enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers dynamic. I also use those terms because it's easier. But I also think this is where things start to get a bit twisted, especially from an intertextual sense. Because "enemies-to-lovers" is also commonly used to refer to other ships in other media, whereby it tends to be rooted in an imbalanced power dynamic, such as oppressor-oppressed and bully-victim.

And while that's a whole can of worms that I won't be getting into because it can quickly derail into a whole separate sort of fandom discourse, I'd just like to make it clear that Mizu and Taigen, in particular, do not have an imbalanced power dynamic. They are not bully-victim or oppressor-oppressed. The only understandable reason why someone might actually think their relationship is imbalanced is if

A) they only watched the first episode, or

B) they cannot grasp the slightest bit of nuance in a character, or

C) they're being obtuse on purpose simply because the Mizu/Taigen relationship, or Taigen's character in general, just doesn't suit their tastes.

While yes, Taigen, along with his whole gang, had bullied Mizu when they were children, that dynamic does not exist between them whatsoever in adulthood. Whatever imbalanced bully-victim power dynamic that had once existed between them was decisively ripped apart the moment Mizu beat him in that duel in the dojo, and then completely obliterated by the end of the season.

Mizu is not a defenseless victim at Taigen's mercy. Mizu can beat Taigen's ass any time she wants (and she DOES, repeatedly in fact), and could even kill him if she felt like it. She taunts him openly and without fear ("I like your hair"; "I can beat you with any weapon you choose") and all he does is bark back, because that's pretty much all Taigen ever does. Time and time again, he yaps about how much he wants to kill her, but time and time again, his actions prove that all of it is just an empty threat. Because though his words say "I hate you", his actions demonstrate the complete opposite. He's shown how protective he is of Mizu, how unhesitatingly he sacrifices himself up for her, how loyal he is in enduring days-long torture to not give up information about her, how even when near-death and in pain, he's still willing to keep standing back up so he can fight by her side and help her win against her enemies.

And Mizu is not an idiot! She sees that too. She does not see him as a threat, an enemy, or even a bully. Especially not by the end of Episode 3, and definitely not by the end of the season. When she finds him in the dungeon in Episode 6, she smiles from relief, and doesn't think twice to take him with her. Mizu finds him, at best, an annoyance, or at worst, an infuriating hindrance on her quest for vengeance. Which is why, when Taigen is about to say, "It's a shame our duel's set for tomorrow; I have to kill you before you get your revenge," Mizu whacks him on the head without a second thought before he can even finish his sentence, and leaves him lying unconscious, face-down, in the snow.

And this further emphasises how he does not hold any power over her. There is no abusive power dynamic between them. She is more powerful than him, he knows this, and all he's ever done after they've met up again in adulthood is get his ass whooped by her, get mad about it and pester her and follow her around, get his ass whooped by her some more, and put his life on the line to protect her.

"OOoooOOoooH b-but he called her a demon at the end of Episode 7 and threatened to kill her again!!!" Oh my god. He called her that because he's calling her out on her selfishness to stay silent about her knowledge of Fowler's plans to attack Edo. Because to him, loyalty and honour as a samurai is more important than anything. So in his own brash-and-immature Taigen way, he felt betrayed that Mizu did not hold the same principles. That's why he got angry. He wasn't even that mad about letting Akemi get dragged off by the Tokunobu guards. It was about saving the Shogun and the Shogunate as a whole. That's why the first thing he does in Edo is not find Akemi, but try to warn the Shogun about Fowler's attack.

Look, I'm not defending his stupid ass, of course. Because calling her a demon especially after their cute little wrestling time was obviously rude and inappropriate, especially since words like "demon", "monster" and "Onryo" have had such a deep effect on Mizu throughout her life, and continue to contribute to her self-hatred. But like? That's the fun of realistic and flawed characters, and realistic and flawed relationships. They're not perfect, and it's why we as an audience root for them, wanting to see them work through their shit and find a way to prevail despite it all.

Also, him saying that was in the heat of the moment. He was angry, he felt like his initial belief of who Mizu was—a strong and loyal samurai, just like him—was shattered, and so he lashed out. Was it rude? Definitely. Was it immature of him? Yes, incredibly. But it's also very much in line with his character, because even though he's grown a lot over the course of the season, the show isn't over yet, so obviously his character arc is just beginning, as that is also the case for the other three main characters: Mizu is beginning to accept herself, Akemi is beginning to grow into her position of power, Ringo beginning to train under Master Eiji, while Taigen is beginning to simply be a better person.

On that note, when speaking of Taigen's immaturity, I think that's also one of the main things that people tend to gloss over when it comes to his character. Because when you boil everything down to its bare essentials, Taigen is, essentially, a boy. I've talked about this before, but to reiterate, Taigen very much behaves like an unhealed child. Even as an adult, he is insecure, prone to throwing tantrums, and is desperate to latch onto some material goal in hopes that it will make him feel better—initially he was chasing status/glory/greatness, and then when Mizu tells him that "Nothing comes from being a samurai but death," he immediately decides he wants to run away with Akemi in hopes that he will be happy.

And it's a big step, acknowledging that he doesn't truly want greatness, but had always just assumed it was his only path to a good life. But it's clear he still hasn't really figured it out. Because if he did run off with Akemi to get married and live in the countryside, he still wouldn't be happy. Because he still doesn't know who he really is, or what it is he really wants. Marriage at this moment is the last thing he needs, and as he is now, he would be a pretty awful husband. A simple life would be good for him, but would he be good at a simple life, when he still has so much he needs to work through?

So anyway, what I'm getting at here, is that he's trying and he is learning and growing. So yeah, he is flawed, but honestly? So is Mizu. And the funny thing is that they're flawed in very similar ways.

Because Mizu is also an unhealed child. That's why she's so angry all the time. That's why she pushes people away. That's why she, just like Taigen, is so happy when given the chance to playfully wrestle in the forge, laughing and rolling around like children without shame or pretense.

Again, this shows there is no imbalance between them. They had grown up together as peers from the same town. And while Taigen had had the upper hand back then, because he'd had a gang of other kids with him, that is definitely not the case anymore. Today, they are equally flawed, equally strong, equally skilled swordsmen, and equally bull-headed.

However, yes, Mizu is definitely leagues more mature than Taigen. But she still holds a lot of childhood wounds that mirror Taigen's own. And we see this especially in relation to her mother. Similar to Taigen who had an abusive and alcoholic father, Mizu's Mama was an opium addict and had hit her, berated her, had shaved her head without her consent as a child, and as an adult, had constantly emotionally manipulated and guilt-tripped her. Mizu's love for her Mama was what had driven her to a path of vengeance in the very beginning. And when she'd found out Mama was still alive, she had wanted nothing more than her Mama's love, and it was this alone that pushed her to agree to the marriage with Mikio in the first place. And now, knowing from Fowler that her birth mother is someone else entirely, is what makes her agree to keep him alive and haul his ass to London to seek answers.

Thus, integral to Mizu's self-hatred is also Mizu's intense longing for love and family. Just like Taigen, whose pompousness comes from his insecurity about being the son of a poor fisherman, Mizu's goals are also shaped by who her parents are. Remember, her vengeance is not against just anyone who's corrupt or evil, but specifically against the men who she believes had assaulted her mother, the men she believes had made her a monster, the men she believes had abandoned her to die and continue to try to kill her. Her vengeance is against a father, on behalf of a mother. In The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride, Mizu is not merely the Ronin, the Bride, or the Onryo, but also the Child.

This is also why Ringo is so good, not only for Mizu, but for Taigen as well. Ringo is wise and caring and considerate, but above all, he is in tune with his inner child in ways that Mizu and Taigen are not. He is always earnest and positive, he sees the world with childlike wonder, but is not naive or blind to its ugliness. His whole life has been a battle. Ringo brings out the best in Mizu, consistently acting as her moral compass and conscience, and Mizu's choice to save Akemi in the final episode is only because she promised Ringo that she would. Because it's the right thing to do. Ringo inspires her to be a better person, and to think outside of her narrow-minded goal of revenge. At the same time, Ringo also brings out the best in Taigen. While at first Taigen had looked down on both Mizu and Ringo ("Half-limb to a half-wit"), by the end of the season, he's proud to have Ringo as a friend and ally, he listens to Ringo's advice ("What would Master do?"), and asserts to the fucking Shogun that Ringo is a worthy warrior to have by his side.

Okay, I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, but my main point is that Mizu and Taigen are incredibly similar. They are equals. They are both flawed, unhealed children who are chasing some impossible outlandish goal in hopes that it will fill the void in their hearts. They also both have a long way to go in terms of character development if they were to ever build a healthy romantic relationship (either with each other, or even with anyone else). So while I believe things will be rocky (because duh, it's a story, we all live for the drama, etc), I think with Ringo's help, they'll get there eventually.

[mortysmith]

Thought about the toxic ep Almost died

[npdfavs]

AM / Allied Mastercomputer from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream has NPD and ASPD! ( both headcanons )

— submitted by me

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

like i see people say stuff like “rei is a deconstruction of the idea of like the perfect girl in a male gaze-y way” and and i'm ready to agree until they go “it’s because she’s creepy and weird and bad!” like no. rei's a deconstruction of misogynistic ideas of womanhood because they’re ideals forced upon her that damage her, not because she’s in any way “creepy”. like, the fact she’s a fourteen year old girl who was basically used as a substitute wife by her father bc she looked like his own dead wife is not something that is meant to make rei look bad like holy shit.

like both rei and asuka are very obviously like. showing fantasised and misogynistic ideas of an idealised woman don’t work irl yeah. shinji's misogynistic view of them is wrong. but that’s not because rei and asuka are bad people it’s because like. “fourteen year old who's flirty and seductive” and “fourteen year old who's a quiet obedient object” are major signs of abuse and trauma and anyone actually acting in those ways at that age clearly isn’t normal. asuka is desperate for attention in any way she can get it, even unhealthy and dangerous ways. rei is at the very least I has a weird pseudo-incestous enmeshment filled abusive relationship with her father, even if she's not actively being sexually abused. asuka is seeking support, rei is a grooming victim. these are not things that are flaws in their character the entire point of subverting the expectations is to show how those expectations are unhealthy to rei and asuka like. god.

[gokupowers]

feel like modern Dave writers/kins forget he's hussies self insert and written to be totally fucking lame in canon bc hussie was a 25 year old loser living in his parents basement making anti SJW rage comics at the time . dave strider is an awesome character but he is genuinely so fucking embarrassingly lame and a loser and it's a beautiful thing & we need to remember our roots #makedavelameagain