#lost in space 06

[zsorosebudphoto]

Barreiro, Lisboa, Portugal, 03-06-23

[silverthehedgehogexplained]

Explaining Silver the Hedgehog's character (Updated)

To truly understand Silver's character you need to understand not one, not two, not three, not even four but the ten different cores of his character. Starting with...

A Strong Sense of Justice - The Hedgehog of Justice

Silver is driven by a strong Sense of Justice. This is his defining trait mentioned in almost all character bios. Silver is a righteous person driven to right wrongs in the world and will always stand up for others. This can make him quite Confrontational as he has zero tolerance for injustice or wrongful suffering and will take on anyone on the spot to fight for what he thinks is right. Silver will always settle the score. Silver however doesn't wish to punish evil but rather to simply maintain peace.

Silver's sense of justice is more important to him than nearly any other character as it is the source of his drive and mission to make things right in the world. Unlike other guardian characters, Silver's sense of duty to protect the future is driven entirely by his personal sense of justice rather than imposed responsibility like Blaze, Knuckles and Ariem..

A Determind Optimist

Silver's other most defining trait is his noted Optimism. Silver has a positive outlook no matter the circumstances. During peaceful times Silver spreads positivity and seeks to make people smile however he can and during dark times Silver rallies and inspires hope in others. If Sonic represents Freedom then Silver represents Hope and will never give up no matter how dire or impossible the situation may seem.

Silver's very presence radiates positivity. In Sonic Channel stories Silver is said to engage in Cheerful Activities after the historical change in 06 and have both a "positive way of life that inspires people and makes them want to watch over him and cheer him on forever…" and an "Honest, unpretentious and kind demeanor" that makes him a warm and inspiring influence. This even extends to real life as this illustration by Tomoko Hayane spontaneously inspired everyone in her office to high five Silver on the screen the day it was made. In Sonic Channel stories Silver also has a very warm smile that fills Princess Elise with trust and joy during the height of her anxiety in one story and a recipient can't say no to in another story. (He's low-key a pretty boy)

Linked to Silver's optimism is supreme Determination. Silver will not give up no matter how impossible the odds are or how badly he's hurt, even when Solaris destroyed the entire space-time continuum and was explained to be nigh-invincible Silver simply resolved to destroy him in the past, present and future all at once and roused everyone back into action when they had all completely lost hope. Silver again rouses hope into the Resistance in Sonic Forces when Sonic and Tails were thought to be lost. Silver doesn't give up easily in general as it took 40 tries for him to cut exact Silver cut apple slices. It is this spirit that allows Silver to fight through the hopeless apocalyptic future. Silver's hope, optimism and determination are best exemplified in the Japanese version of Sonic Forces where he says this:

There is hope! As long you don't give up!

A Kind Hearted Hedgehog

Silver is an Altruist. An altruist is a person who is unselfish and concerned for the well-being of others, even if they don't gain anything by doing so. Silver not only has a strong desire to help others but he also has great Empathy for both people and environments and wants to see them in a happy state. Silver loves Smiles, he can't help but smile when he sees other people smile and his greatest joy is making other people happy. Silver wants to make people happy because he grew up in an apocalyptic future that was filled with despair as stated in Sonic & Silver on Sonic Channel. Silver's altruism is not only the motivation behind his mission to protect the future but also the only thing that can make him break from it as he will drop his current mission to help people as he does with Amy in Sonic 06 and the understaffed post office of Soleanna in Sonic Pict as Silver cannot say no to a sad face. Silver's reason for aspiring to become a hero is to be someone that can protect smiles as he states in Sonic & Silver.

Focused On Saving The Future - A Focused Agent

The very first thing Silver is described with in 06 design documents is Focused on Saving The Future. Silver is a driven and focused agent that becomes very determined and serious when it comes to saving the future and dealing with potential threats. Like Sonic's other rivals Silver is very skilled in many regards from skillfully doing various odds jobs in Soleanna in Town Missions to getting one of the highest sharpshooting scores in Soleanna's 1500 year history(Town Mission 6) to becoming a "genius" skating coach celebrity in the Otherworld Comedy series to the general use of his powers(Silver takes offence to being treated like an amateur for a reason). Silver is a veteran fighter from his apocalyptic life of battling Iblis and is able to and quickly learn things he's never done before like Chaos Control and car racing after only seeing them once. Silver trains regularly and is said to make steady efforts to improve in the 2022 wallpaper comedy series. Silver is a Fly/Technique type character so he specialize in technical sports like ice skating, uses a high balance car in Team Sonic Racing and is possibly the fastest flyer in the series as he's able to keep up with Sonic in Generations and is able to fly at light speeds with his Teleport Dash ability. Silver is very Proactive in his pursuits as in the opening of his story in Sonic 06 he states that he always asked people in his apocalyptic future how the world was destroyed but could never get a direct answer, hence why he listens to Mephiles.

Silver is noted to be intuitive and perceptive. He sees through Eggman Nega's disguises by noticing small details in his mannerisms. In Sonic Rivals 2 he turns his fight with Sonic into a race to collect Chao and advance his mission instead. In Otherworld Comedy Act 8 he intuits Blaze trying to control her powers when seeing them for the first time. Silver solves problems through thinking in all of his major game appearances from figuring out how to revive Sonic in the last episode of 06 to uncovering Eggman's plot in Team Sonic Racing.

Despite his naivete, Silver Isn't Very Trusting. His respect and trust has to be earned as he doesn't work with anyone in the Sonic Rivals series until they prove useful to him. In Sonic Generations Silver doesn't trust Sonic as being real and he is almost immediately suspicious of Dodon Pa. While he can take things literally at times the same deception that works on Knuckles won't work on Silver as Eggman learned in Team Sonic Racing. Even when working with Mephiles, Silver did not initially believe in time travel and did not fully commit to his plan until he was physically thrown back in time and still began questioning it after being confronted by Amy, only continuing to go along with the mission after it was reaffirmed by both Blaze and Mephiles as the only option to save the future.

Silver is very Goal Focused and has a Straight To The Point Mentality as part of his forthrightness. He doesn't like distractions, petty details or things getting in his way and prefers to concentrate on his current goals. Silver can also be somewhat Ruthless as he has done many things to protect the future including sneaking past Soleanna guards(Town Mission 11), mugging Tails and attempted assassinations all with little reservation. Despite having something of an honor code against cowardice Silver is also willing to fight pretty dirty such as when he played possum to hit Sonic in 06.

Forthright Purity

One of Silver's original design document descriptors is that he is very Forthright. This actually entails multiple different things about Silver that all deal with his Purity. As his name suggests, Silver is themed with purity as a character with his silvery white colors, youthfulness, innocence and forthright nature. Silver is forthright in every sense of the word including being Straightforward and Honest. Honest to a fault as Silver is so honest that he can't even lie(though he can change the subject as he does in Sonic 06 and Sonic Rivals 2). Direct and Outspoken as Silver hides almost nothing about himself(he only tries to hide his problems as when he tries to dismiss his worries in TSR as nothing) and speaks his mind as well as Going Straight to the Point as discussed above. This is why in Playstation Magazine Japan, Silver was officially given the birthday May 9th and with it the star sign of Taurus which is associated with determination, directness and honesty. Silver wears his heart on his sleeve and has a certain innocence to him that permeates his character.

With this purity however comes Silver's Naivety. He has a somewhat simplistic Black and White Perspective. Silver can sometimes take things literally and expects people to believe any outlandish things he tells them simply because he knows them to be true. Silver can also be unfamiliar with things in the present due to living in the far future where everything is either long destroyed or far more advanced.

The flip side of that forthright purity however is...

The Brash Antithesis of Eggman Nega

On the flip side of being straightforward and honest, Silver is also Blunt and Rude. Just as Silver wears his heart on sleeve he also has no filter and will say whatever is on his mind which can make him Abrasive and quick to insult. Silver will call you an idiot to your face if he thinks you are one and often trash talks opponents in in-game dialogue(literally calling defeated enemies trash in 06). Silver's rudeness is even more apparent in Japanese where he uses many informal impressions including addressing himself with "Ore"(おれ) and others "Anta"(あんた, the ruder version "Anata") which signifies that he speaks bluntly. Silver often points directly at people he speaks to(This is considered much more rude in Japan) and crosses his legs while sitting in a way that is roughly the Japanese equivalent of putting your feet on a table. Silver acts very casually with others without introducing himself which can be very informal and rude as Knuckles calls out during their meeting in Sonic Rivals 1. This can make Silver even more rude than other brash characters in a technical sense as he's just blunt and acts without a filter. This is a key difference between Silver and Future Trunks who was largely a shy and polite mannered individual.

Similar to Jet the Hawk, Silver is Juvenile both in his age designation and general level of maturity. Due to this Silver can be quite Brash similar to Sonic but even more so due to his aggression and bluntness/lack of filter. He can be snotty, sneering, sarcastic and is even stated to have a mischievous side in the Commemorative Illustration series. Though he is generally humble Silver has a confident, somewhat smug attitude about his powers and is very Competitive. Almost fighting Blaze as they begin one upping each other over who could deal with Orbot & Cubot on their own when they first meet in the Triumph cutscene Sonic Colors DS. Silver is also Headstrong, almost fighting Blaze again when she treats him like an amateur in the Otherworld Comedy series. Despite his share of hedgehog prickliness however Silver isn't a hostile or mean spirited person(as long as you're not in his way or being unjust that is). Just as Eggman Nega being polite does not make him a good person being rude does not make Silver a bad one as he maintains his goal of helping others at all times. When not focused on a mission Silver is shown to be a fun loving, reliable and protective friend. Silver cherishes his friends and is willing to do anything for them. Silver can also be just as quick to praise or call something cool as he is to insult someone and he strongly believes in the abilities of the people that have earned his respect as when he recruits Sonic to help him with the Revival Bridge situation in Sonic & Silver and is genuinely grateful for Espio's help in saving the world in Sonic Rivals 2. This side of Silver can be very similar to Sonic from Sonic SatAM. Combined with his naivety and determination this side can also make him similar to a Looney Tunes character called Henery Hawk. (He's naive but he has a blunt "What's so funny?" attitude about it)

Due to this nature, Silver has bold explosive responses to even the most impossible challenges, stating "I'll show you how crazy I am" when Knuckles calls him crazy in Sonic Rivals 2, "Come on, Espio! We can take them all on!" when confronted with Knuckles, Rouge and Eggman all at once in Sonic Rivals 2, and "If you say it exists in the past, present and future, I'll destroy them all at once!" when facing the impossible challenge of Solaris(He drops pretty hard lines when things get tough). Silver has this attitude against even things that outmatch him such as Infinite's mighty power.

Silver is described as "young and immature" by his creator Shun Nakamura so despite his general seriousness he can still have somewhat childish moments.

Almost all of Silver's traits are also diametrically opposed to those of his Sonic Rivals series nemesis Eggman Nega(currently the only other character from Silver's future), down to the colors they're themed after Black and White.

Silver is Rude and Blunt out of sheer earnestness while Eggman Nega is overly Polite as a form of mind games. Silver is Warm and Pure while Eggman Nega is Cold and Twisted. Silver is Honest to a fault while Eggman Nega is extremely Deceitful. Silver is Kind while Eggman Nega is Cruel. Silver is Naive while Eggman Nega is Sophisticated. Silver is Reckless while Eggman Nega is Calculating. Silver is Practical while Eggman Nega is Petty. Silver desires Peace and Prosperity while Eggman Nega desires Chaos and Destruction. Both are willing to sacrifice themselves for those ends in ways that seem crazy to other characters.

Riled Up - A Passionate Emotional Beast

One of the descriptions for Silver in design documents, Riled Up, alludes to Silver's highly emotional nature. Silver is a High Spirited person that is also emotionally immature.

Like Blaze, Silver can be Easily Angered and have a pretty Wrathful Temper. However unlike Blaze who is repressed in her feelings, Silver has no filter and can get loud or carried away when he is overly angered, excited or saddened(He's autistic...) which can primarily be seen in his animations and dialogue in the Olympic Games series. Silver puts his all into any activity he gets invested into(I'm giving this all I've got!) because of how Passionate he is.

It is the strength of his feelings that can make Silver Impulsive or Rash as often noted in his character bios.

Sometimes Silver tends to deal with things too head-on because of the strength of his feelings, or he tends to take everything on himself, but this is an aspect of his purity and an endearing virtue. ~ Sonic & Silver Sonic Channel story

This separates Silver from Sonic and Shadow who are both calm and cool in most situations while Silver has very little emotional regulation and can be blinded by his feelings. This can make him rather Reckless at times as he can deal with things too head on and will throw himself at problems when he gets overtaken by his feelings.

While Shadow is calculating and detached, Silver is controlled by powerful emotion and is impulsive and obsessive. This causes them both to be incredibly straightforward, mission oriented, and viscous, but for entirely opposite reasons. Sonic on the other hand falls in between. He cares, but he's not nearly as impulsive and manic as Silver. He's also cool-headed and easygoing, but not out of the detached stoicism of Shadow. SSS are quite different emotionally.

This Hot-blooded emotional nature is why Silver often has very Stoic partners like Blaze, Espio or Shadow to calm him down and pull him back. This dynamic is alluded to in the Japanese version of Sonic 06 where Blaze states that she shouldn't let Silver run wild on his own(in the English version she states that he's insecure when alone though that is contradicted within both 06 itself and the Rivals series).

An Aggressive Warrior

Due to his apocalyptic background Silver is a fierce and aggressive Warrior with many violent aspects to him. The Sonic Channel Sonic & Silver character introduction story states that Silver fought and struggled for half his lifetime which implies that he fought the forces of Iblis since he was seven years old.

Silver was born into a literal Hell on Earth where people lived without hope and he had to constantly battle against the minions of Iblis and put out disasters caused by it's existence such as flame tornadoes, storms and tides of lava destroying everything in a world where everyone lived in Eternal Darkness and suffering. Silver fought for most of his life to bring peace to the world. Due to this life of constant violence and devastation Silver is devoted to and deeply appreciates Peace but also has a violent personality because of it. This is why Silver has intense determined expressions and aggressive body language as he constantly makes fists and aggressive stances even when he's happy. Silver also punches things when he's frustrated and gets up using his fists in Sonic Forces. This not only shows his determination and emotional nature but his baked in aggression from a life of fighting through the apocalypse. Shadow notes Silver as a fighter in Team Sonic Racing dialogue. As covered above Silver can be something of an attack dog and needs to be held back at times.

This is also reflected in the pointed design of his eyes which in Japanese character design represents sharpness and intensity in a character. These points are easy to miss due to how his eyes are modeled and the way they align with the quills that act as bangs over the upper corners of his eyes.

Silver is incredibly powerful, being able to defeat armies of enemies in Town Missions in Sonic 06 and shown to have a tally of the number of times he single-handedly defeated the gigantic Iblis in a Sonic Pict wallpaper. When they fight in 06 Silver is as physically strong as Shadow who himself can easily lift 18-Wheeler G.U.N. Trucks and other house sized objects with one arm.

Silver also Enjoys Fighting and fights for fun as seen in his friendly Rival Battles in Sonic Generations. Silver is willing to fight anybody if he feels slighted and I do mean anybody as he's been shown willing to fight everything from skyscraper sized monsters like Iblis and Ifrit to small children as he has no qualms with fighting Tails or Bowser Jr(something he shares with Shadow). Silver is said to “sometimes call forth great power without mercy” in Sonic & Silver on Sonic Channel.

Tying into his selfless and reckless nature, Silver is also Extremely Brave. As stated for the Pumpkin Trigger Sonic Comic, Silver has no regard for his own safety and will immediately throw himself at any danger or sacrifice himself at a moments notice especially if it means protecting those around him. Silver had to fight the colossal Iblis and its endless spawn in a dark hellscape by himself for most of his life(as it has been revealed Blaze wasn't born in the future in 06). Silver also has very high pain tolerance owing to his determination and violent life of fighting Iblis. Angrily continuing to attack after being kicked in the head by Shadow in 06, shredded and bounced across the street by Sonic in Generations and enduring agonizing pain beyond description caused by overusing his powers in Sonic & Silver. Silver also seems to value being brave and dislikes cowardice going by his remarks in the Sonic Rivals series and the Team Vector Nintendo Dream interview which has interesting implications for his backstory.

When surprised in Sonic Generations Silver instantly has a fight response as he grew up in a world where Iblis minions could attack at any moment. (He's feral)

A Sentimental Person

Silver also has a very quiet side. He can be Introspective and Sentimental. This is shown throughout Sonic 06 with the non-verbal processing of events around him. After his fallout with Amy, he sits quietly by himself unengaged with his mission to destroy the Iblis Trigger and contemplates the morality of hurting one person to save the world. He silently takes in the events of the Solaris Project as he finally learns the truth about the destruction of the world he always asked about. Silver feels grief and contemplation quietly as shown when he's left solemn and silent over his moral dilemma and Blaze's sacrifice. Silver appreciates little things and finds beauty in simple parts of the world that most people take for granted.

Silver also has a certain curiosity to him and sometimes takes interest in new things ("Interesting"), so he also enjoys new experiences, facing challenges and going sightseeing.

The Hedgehog of Peace

The absolute core and purpose of Silver's character is World Peace. Silver lives for and fights to protect world peace at all costs. This primarily includes his drive to protect Smiles and Blue Skies. Because of Silver's Empathy he wants to see the world and it's people prosper and could not stand the devastated of his destroyed future even before he experienced any true peace. Silver's quills are patterned after a Japanese Maple Leaf which represents peace.

In contrast to the apocalyptic devastation, darkness and suffering he grew up with, Silver feels at peace when seeing clear blue skies, beautiful environments or people living in prosperity. Due to hailing from a devastated future even something as simple as a desert is beautiful to him because it's intact and the people are happy. Because his feelings reflect the world around him, seeing these things in ruined states saddens and upsets him while seeing them thrive takes his breath away. When Silver sees people smile he can't help but smile. Silver's mission is to protect and maintain a happy future with a blue sky.

This is also reflected in Silver's heavily implied favorite food, apples as apples represent Good Fortune and Prosperity. It was even revealed in Sonic Pict and a how-it-was-made special that Silver ate apple flavored calorie bars in his destroyed future.

To recap. The ten core aspects of Silver are:

A Strong Sense of Justice

The Optimistic Determinator

A Kind Heart

Forthright Purity( with Naivete)

A Focused Agent

An Emotional Beast

The Brash Antithesis of Eggman Nega

The Aggressive Warrior

A Sentimental Person

The Hedgehog of Peace

This post complies information about Silver from all his canon appearances, manuals, the Mario & Sonic series, Nintendo Dream and PlayStation Magazine interviews, design documents and cultural research by myself and others. Particularly the Sonic Channel Story called Sonic & Silver that is meant to introduce Silver's character and the Team Vector Interview from Nintendo Dream Magazine.

Some believe that Silver is an experimental character that changes from from game to game but all ten of these core aspects have been with Silver since his very inception in Sonic 06 and have been indicated in character bios/design docs since the beginning and are simply shown to different extents throughout the series. Silver is a very complex and abstruse character that can be difficult to grasp due to his lack of focus and the obscurity of most things he appears in post 06. I hope this post has given you a deeper understanding of him.

[mcflymemes]

VARIOUS SETTINGS / LOCATIONS PROMPTS *  location based prompts for starters, adjust as necessary

[ 01 ] a crowded masquerade party, on the dance floor

[ 02 ] the narrow space between two dusty bookshelves

[ 03 ] a shady spot in the sand under a boat dock

[ 04 ] the cereal aisle of a neighborhood cornerstore

[ 05 ] a one-stall, one-sink bathroom in a noisy bar

[ 06 ] standing next to the only car in an otherwise-empty parking lot

[ 07 ] a field of ready-to-pick corn, the stalks making it impossible to see the space around you

[ 08 ] the sun-dappled, grassy edge of a small lake

[ 09 ] intermission at a broadway show

[ 10 ] seated beside each other at a nail salon

[ 11 ] a desolate field in the middle of nowhere, just before a rainstorm

[ 12 ] a lonely bus stop at 2am

[ 13 ] the garden center of a home improvement store

[ 14 ] the only two people at a hotel bar on new year's

[ 15 ] on a bench beside a large fountain and its lit-up water display

[ 16 ] the messy chaos of an all-you-can-eat buffet

[ 17 ] a city rooftop with lightning in the distance

[ 18 ] a rusty fire escape

[ 19 ] inside an ice cream shop

[ 20 ] at the entrance of a lost temple in the middle of a thick jungle

[ 21 ] the waiting area of a busy doctor's office

[ 22 ] a city street teeming with news vehicles, camera crews, and reporters

[ 23 ] a hammock on the beach strung between two palm trees

[ 24 ] a locked door. the key is under the mat

[ 25 ] the large, ornate rotunda of an official building

[ 26 ] an empty, run-down subway car

[ 27 ] the only gas station for miles

[ 28 ] an airport café during the breakfast rush

[ 29 ] a wine tasting event for couples

[ 30 ] the cliffside overlooking a magnificent, roaring waterfall

[bengiyo]

Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.

Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.

For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.

I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.

I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).

After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.

I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.

I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"

I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.

From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.

There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.

That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.

I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.

More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!

I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!

[br4tphobia]

2:06 in the morning. + armin a

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ details + Toxic! Armin Arlert x Black!Fem reader, you and armin are agruing bc he came home late and he apologizes by fucking u good 💖 another toxic relationship, makeup sex, small argument, fluff, smut, missionary, p in v, praise, mutual orgasms, dirty talk, unprotected sex (wear condoms kidz!), pussy drunk armin🤭, profanity, and toxic armin💕

✧˖*° vals note!! + had to show my babygirl some love💗

you sigh, the sound of your acrylics tapping on your phone twice, checking the time, it was 2:06 in the morning. getting more irritated by the hour “where the fuck is this lil boy..” you question yourself, starting to think the worst. your train of thoughts are broken by the sound if the locks unlocking, knowing it was armin. hearing the door open and close back, footsteps getting closer. he opened the door to see you, looking you up and down. he walks towards you, going in for a kiss.

you swerve out of his way, pissed off at how late he came home. “you wanna come home at 2 in the damn mornin and try to kiss me??” giving him a stank face “u done lost yo damn mind..”

“dont start this right now y/n..” rolling his eyes as he backs up. giving u space.

“the fuck you mean ‘dont start this’?? u expect me to be all over you after being out all night!?” raising your voice at him, using your hands to speak.

“i didnt say that, did i?” staring at him like he was crazy, returning your stare, staring at you with his low eyes over your attitude. your yelling being toned out as he examines your body, feeling his pants getting tighter. “fuck..” he mumbled. zoning back into reality after seeing you storm off and slamming the door. he sighed, sitting on the bed giving u a few minutes before going after you.

opening the door, walking up behind you. gripping your waist pushing your ass on his boner, kissing and sucking on your neck. “cmon ma..u cant be mad at me forever. i love you and you know that..” folding at his choices of words, not trying to show it tho. “min..” you silently whined, failing to act tough. giving into him, moving your neck at a certain angle so he can get better access to your neck. pushing back into him, grinding onto him from behind, earning a grunt from armin.

“im sorry, babe..” he apologized, responding with a quick “mhm” focusing on your pleasure. being swept off your feet unexpectedly, being carried to the bedroom. opening the door and kicking it closed with his foot. walking over to the bed and laying you down, holding the back of your head just for empathy. “strip f’me” he demanded, watching you intensely. doing as he says holding eye contact with him, about to take off your panties and stops you.

climbing ontop of you, gripping your jaw and connecting his lips with yours, his needy hands roaming around every curve of your body snd your tongues fight for dominance, he easily won, groaning into his mouth, his face heating up. he pulled away from the heated kiss, trying to catch his breath. your inner thights getting slick with the friction he was causing by grinding his knee on your clit.

sliding his hand inside your underwear, gasping at the sudden intrusion. two fingers pumping in and out of you, “mm.. armin..!” bucking your hips on his fingers. begging for something more than that. “please.. baby" you whined as he curls his fingers inside of your throbbing pussy. "please what? tell me what u want babe." catching a glimpe of his lips turning up, he knew what you wanted, he just wanted to hear it.

covering your eyes with your forearm, “fuck me..” covering your eyes with your forearm in embarrassment. grinding your heat onto his fingers.

“what was that? i didnt hear you.” he said, his tone laced in seduction and tease.

“fuck me..! i want you so bad…” hearing a small laugh from him, uncovering your eyes as he unfastens his pants and moving your soaked panties to the side. lining his tip at the entrance, without hesitation he slid in with ease. gasping at his size, no matter how many times u guys fucked u never got used to it.

wincing at the stretch, holding hands with armins "i know..im sorry." he whispered sweetly, sinking deep into you his tip kissing your cervix.

he started moving, his thick cock thrusting into you slow and sensually. "you fuckin me so g-good baby.." you wrap your arms around his neck as both of your lips intertwine, tongues dancing together. he pulls away kissing and sucking on your neck, leaving all kinds of love marks all over you, knowing your gonna have trouble covering it for work. “fuckk..this pussy so good..” he groaned as he buries his head in your neck, still thrusting hard but painfully slow. “faster..please” you beg, wanting more.

he quickens his pace, more noises slipping through both of your mouths. no one could ever make you feel this good, no one ever will. "ouu shit baby..." playing with the hairs on his nape, rolling his hips into you. stroking you deep, hitting that one spot inside of you. “a-armin..right there..!” your pretty lips moaning out, sounds that wouldnt leave his head.

he angled his hips higher, hitting that spot deeper and better, moving his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in unknown shapes. you arch your back into him from the overwhelming pleasure. “oh fuck..! arminn...” he grabbed one leg, raising it on his shoulder. ramming into you. small moans passing through his tongue, rolling his head back in pure euphoria.

“fuck baby..inside.. i wanna feel a-all of you..” panting, trying to calm down from your recent orgasm. the sound of squelching and skin slapping soon came to a stop. "oh f-fuck.." feeling his warm nut inside of you.

releasing over his stomach unexpectedly, moaning out and tears threaten to spill. feeling his cock twitch inside of you. “ ‘m gonna cum.. hah.. where here do you w-want it..” speeding up his pace even more. eager to cum.

humming as he pulls out, watching his seed leak from you. his arms clinging to you, kissing your cheek. “im sorry baby..” he whispered, desperate for forgiveness. “its ok.. dont pull that shit again..”

"i wont..i swear."

theemrsjaeger 2023 © do not plagiarize, copy, or repost anything I post. reblog if you enjoyed 🩷

[phantom-of-the-501st]

The Evolution of an Echo

Okay well I wasn't planning on doing this now but I decided to strike while the iron is hot and have now started writing a full on character essay at *checks watch* 22:06

But despite his limited screen time, I really love how Echo has been portrayed this season and I really want to have a look at his character evolution over the course of The Bad Batch and how he compares now to who we were first introduced to in The Clone Wars.

Steph waffle about Echo coming up down below! 🧇

@saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings

So I feel like the main thing we see with Echo is that he generally has more confidence now than he did before. Don't get me wrong, he still had confidence in a combat situation and was not afraid to throw himself into the action if it meant he could help people (self-preservation who?), but he seems to have become more comfortable with being himself, like he's properly found his own identity.

And I think that that is interesting considering what Echo has gone through. Personality-wise (and looks-wise), he is very different to who he once was but he still feels like Echo. We haven't lost him, he's just become more aware of what makes Echo Echo. Because when he was first given the name, he hated it. He didn't like being called that because it stemmed from people teasing him about his habit of repeating orders. While there wasn't any true malicious intent (the Dominoes were his brothers after all), Echo ended up being the target of "bullying" during his early years in the GAR. He was a rule follower and believed that things had to be done by the book for a reason. But that resulted in him getting teased a lot and I don't think he ever truly built up the same level of confidence as some of his other batchmates. And for him, that name probably suggested that everything that made up his identity, everything that made him him, was that name and how it stemmed from his belief that rules were made to be followed. His identity was in some way intrinsically tied to his name.

However, over time we saw that he came to fully embrace the name ("is there and Echo in here?") and over the course of the last couple of seasons, have really begun to see Echo fully living up to his potential, no longer tying himself to the "rule-follower" identity that he had carried with him for so long. Because what happened to him on Skako Minor fundamentally changed who he was: not just physically, but personally as well. He had to navigate being a new person and that meant finding himself again, even if the person he found was not the one he was expecting. And remember that at this point, all of his batchmates are gone; the people who gave him the name that summed up his personality are gone. The Batch don't know the old Echo and in some ways that probably helped him find himself. There was no expectation from them for him to go back to who he was before because they don't know that side of him. It gave Echo the space to breath and I feel like in some ways there was less of a pressure for him to try and go back to who he was.

Now that's not to say that the old Echo isn't still there in some ways. When he first ran with the Batch, he didn't quite have the same level of chaos as them, didn't really have the same way of going about things. And that never fully went away. Look at the way he challenged Hunter in season 2: he didn't instantly fall into doing things that Batch's way, but still held onto his own beliefs. But that confrontation did show a build in confidence. Echo became much more confident in standing up for himself, for doing what he believed even if that wasn't how everyone else wanted to do it. And so much of that stems from what he went through. Echo has been through hell, and if he can prevent that from happening to other people, then he will, even if it means disagreeing with his brothers.

One thing that has stood out to me is how Echo has begun to accept that where he belongs isn't always in one spot. And I imagine that this was something that had never really occurred to him much until this point because he'd only ever really been in one place: with his batch. I mean, they spent rotation after rotation after rotation together on the Rishi Moon. Echo never really had to deal with change until his brothers died. Then he found the 501st and that's when Echo began to adapt to shifts. He was in new places, with new jobs, but he always had one constant: Fives. And yet, following his rescue, that constant was gone. The place that had once felt like home to Echo now didn't feel like that anymore because it wasn't what he remembered. It's why he went with the Batch.

And I think this change was crucial in building the Echo we see today. It was a point in which he learned that home didn't mean one place. And sometimes it didn't even mean the same people. Home is simply where one feels like they belong, and for Echo that isn't always the same spot. It's where he feels like he can truly be himself and for him that means being in a position where he can help people. Whether that be with the 501st, or the Batch, or the Rebellion, Echo has learned to find a place in wherever he feels he needs to be. And that's why he's become so confident: because he has found where he belongs and what truly makes Echo Echo.

So we can look at Echo now and see the change. But we can still see the old him there - the drive to do the right thing, the protectiveness he holds for those he cares about, and the incredibly stressful habit of always putting himself in harms way in order to get things done - but he's embraced it more than ever before. While his screen time has been short this season, what we've seen from Echo is the perfect demonstration of why he was made an ARC and why he has always been so amazing. He is an incredibly talented soldier and now that he's found his calling, he's flourishing. He's embracing the change and he's taking everything in his stride. He's a good leader, a competent soldier, an incredible tactician, and a genuinely nice person who cares about the wellbeing of the people around him. Echo has come out of his shell and truly flourished and it's amazing to see.

And his humour has come back as well! One of the things that was often pointed out was how Echo's jokey side had kind of faded while he was with the Batch and yet over the last season it's come out in full force. Echo finding his confidence has also made him snarkier and bitchier in the best way possible. He knows what he wants and he isn't going to put up with anyone's bs. And what I love even more is how much the Batch have embraced him. They trust him now more than ever; he's their brother and they respect his drive and support him, even if it isn't the path they wanted to take themselves.

Now Echo still has his struggles, he isn't perfect. He can still be overly blunt sometimes, and he still has his vulnerabilities ("I don't enjoy solitude") but they don't make him weak. In fact Echo is stronger than ever and embracing who he is even more. And we can see where his growth has been influenced by those around him; the soft side that has become stronger after caring for Omega and the complete and utter chaos stemming from Fives and the Batch for example.

And you know what, Echo is a fitting name. Not because he repeated orders, but because in everything he does, and everything he proves himself to be, you can see the echoes of his past, who he was, who he's known and who he grew to be.

[sgiandubh]

Lights, camera, shit show

I was just cleaning my OL folders (all those Chinese paintings and scrolls do take a horrendous amount of space, heh) and I just stumbled upon something I completely forgot to share and discuss with you. I found this particular article during my solitaire lurking months and I remember being befuddled by it for a long time, then thought I've lost it for good.

I don't remember ever seeing it shared or discussed in here, either and if, by any slim chance, I am wrong, kindly forgive me. That professional website is now closed, but its content is still available to browse:

Anyway, there goes: https://www.studiodaily.com/2018/06/outlander-dp-stephen-mcnutt-asc-csc-saucy-scottish-show/

We discussed Terry Dresbach and her inebriated rants, Vanessa Woman's devastating impact on set as Intimacy Coordinator, RDM's jealousy and many other aspects of life on the OL set. Rumors likely to have originated there peppered our shipping trail like flickering lights in a sea of darkness. So yes, we dissected these things to death. But not Stephen McNutt's interview to Studio Daily, on June 22, 2018 - please keep in mind the date, it is essential!

Stephen McNutt is a well-established professional and a member of the American Society of Cinematographers (ASC) and the Canadian Society of Cinematographers (CSC), as he hails from British Columbia. He also has a consistent track record of previous work with RDM, both on Battlestar Galactica and Caprica (its prequel). Therefore, one has to immediately suppose he was handpicked and brought on set by the same RDM, of course: set a very low bar on your expectations, I am warning you.

By the grace of RDM, he was one of the main Directors of Photography for OL during Seasons Two and Three. IMDb is not the best source for corroborating things, because they credit him with 13 episodes in Season Two (including La Dame Blanche- he is the Blue Room guy!), but only one for Season Three (First Wife), which is completely wrong. I even had to check some opening credits on Netflix (at reduced speed, ugh), because he speaks at length of A. Malcolm, something that would have made little sense otherwise. He was there, of course: and his is a first-hand account, heavily loaded with both innuendo and TPTB bullshit, up to the point of complete incoherence.

We focus on the three final questions:

This is a study in bullshitology, right here. The question asked is very clear and very technical: how did you approach those famous love scenes?

The answer is a mumble jumble of retcon, deflections, slips and overall impossible scramble for a logical explanation. I am doing a line by line, because this is almost too good to be true:

'(...) But as far as Cat and Sammy making love (...)' : um, hello and excuse me, I thought the question was about Jamie and Claire?!? And then we are delusional and can't fucking separate, when your own henchman, the Director of Photography no less, seems to be totally unable to do so, too? Hello? Also: 'Sammy'? 'Sammy'? What. The. Total. Fuck, and I LOLed then and I am still LOLing now. Terms of endearment overheard on set - but no, here comes the 'friendship' shite, hitting the narrative fan with Mach 5 speed. Objective? Explaining in a plausible way the hugging and 'keeping warm'. And I am sorry, but this begs the question: what the hell did this man see on that set? And how many people did see the same, hence the need to release such a gratuitous lie, for pure retconning purposes?

'They are not an item at all - I think she just got married'. Oh, fuck my life, man: you are such a terrible, terrible liar! Remember, that interview was taken in June 2018: after the OZ EFH and just about when C. was gleefully answering 'oh, God forbid!' every time she was prompted by press about her marriage plans. How can somebody with a pretty high trophic level and personal rapport to both S and C be totally unaware about C's marital status at the time? How can a long time acquaintance and coworker of RDM say no both to a friend and to a current boss (same person, the worst case scenario) asking for a favor, in that particular context? It also goes to prove that the shit show plot mainlines never originated with S and C and that the Remarkable Week-end was already planned for quite some time. By TPTB. With the full knowledge of RDM.

Let's suppose Mr. McNutt was so deeply engrossed in his work as not to notice all the people who must have congratulated C on set. I mean, I know who our (spinster) colleague from Accounting is currently banging and that guy is (mercifully) not among our staff (I totally wish them well, btw). Maybe because nobody congratulated C on that fakegagement? Also, you know them well enough to confidently say 'they are not an item', but don't know she was not married at the time and state an enormity with the same confidence? What in the name of the hoo-ha did I just read, here?

'I was always in such amazement of that.' In amazement of exactly what, Mr. McNutt? Surely not a woman holding hands or keeping warm with her gay co-star on set, huh? I mean, I need the best American English dictionary, here:

Again: what the heck did this man see? What comments did he hear? Surely, 'amazement' is a very precise choice of wording, with particularly enlightening synonyms:

Hence the need to end the demonstration with a deflection: 'They would just have fun.' You know, there is no such thing as a virgin whore, Mr. McNutt: you either are in such astonishment or you think your pals, good old S and C, such a funny girl, were having, well... 'fun', what else? You can't logically have both in the same paragraph!

And there we go: 'a very collegial atmosphere on set'. The answer is pure fool's gold, if you ask me: 'Nobody goes to sit in a trailer or says they aren’t showing up that day. '

And I laughed. And I laughed. And I laughed. I really don't know what this man is talking about. I never heard McTavish telling S to get out of that trailer ('nephew'). I never read the 'two very loved-up birdies' in a trailer a-rockin' Anons. I never watched that 2015 Anglophile SDCC interview, when S mentioned listening in their shared trailer to Erasure's Oh, l'Amour and C immediately reacted ('oh, did you just admit to that?'). But unlike me, McNutt must have been legally bound by a big cojones Non-Disclosure Agreement and morally bound by loyalty towards RDM, his friend, boss and benefactor.

This. All of the above. This is the real reason for all the bullshit you've just read: explaining a real, shocking love story by socially progressive regulations, allowing the cast to be 'much more happy'. I would laugh some more, if this was not sinister and cruel, in fact.

It is Love. A deep, strong one. But the seeds of the adverse narrative were planted early and deep, forcing even decent people like this guy to lie and smear himself a bit in the process. What we see and hear now are but better worded and more refined consequences of that fateful January 2016 morning in LA. And since I am allowed the dubious luxury only a healthy distance in time allows, let me remind you a simple, fun fact about this interview who stated they were never an item:

About ten months after McNutt uttered these words, the fandom was hit by the Covfefe Pics.

I rest my case.

[thankskenpenders]

So I wrote a whole long thing about Amy's tarot cards, but what about, you know... the rest of the Sonic Frontiers DLC? The new alternate story route, the hours of new gameplay, all that?

Having now played it, I'm not sure Sonic has ever had this specific combination of good ideas that make the future of the series look bright, and execution that I fucking hate.

(Full spoilers ahead.)

The good

There's a lot to like here, conceptually.

First and foremost, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy are finally playable in a new mainline 3D Sonic game for the first time since 2006! Seventeen years! We've been begging for this for so very, very long. Nature is finally truly healing from the fallout of Sonic '06. Early on I hedged my bets and expected them to be locked to Cyber Space or something like that, assuming that there was no way they'd be fully playable in the Open Zone. But sure enough, while they're a bit limited compared to Sonic, they're still all full-blown characters with skill trees to unlock and lots of exploration to do.

We also got a more bombastic alternate final boss fight, after the first take on The End kind of underwhelmed. And it's obvious that Sonic Team has listened to our pleas to focus on the 3D platforming over the forced 2D sections, and to reduce the amount of automation in the level design. This update is chock full of Actual Platforming. Wow! I can only pray this means we never get an area as agonizing to explore as Chaos Island again.

Sure, there's still some jank - especially with Knuckles' movement, which is kinda rough. But if this is the stuff they're trying out so that they can refine it further for the next game, then I'm really excited.

On the other hand, good fucking lord is The Final Horizon tedious. And that tedium sapped most of the fun out of it for me.

The frustrating

The new scenario massively increases the difficulty over the base game, seemingly out of a desire to give the hardcore players who were posting speedrun videos and whatnot more of a challenge. It's the Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels of Sonic. This difficulty comes in many forms throughout your playtime, some worse than others, and continues to ramp up over time.

Rather than giving you a tutorial level, the new scenario dumps you directly into a remixed version of the final island and makes you do some fairly precise platforming with Amy, Knuckles, and Tails - new characters with new movesets that you won't have any experience with. You'll also need to find character-specific Koco that give you free levels, because Sonic's friends all start at level one and certain locked moves in their skill trees will be mandatory to progress. They don't even have Cyloop unlocked at the start. And because they're all low level, that means you'd better steer clear of the beefed-up bosses scattered around the map, which will absolutely annihilate Sonic's friends. (I honestly just avoided them and never bothered beating any of them, not even with my high-level Sonic. I have no idea if they're beatable with the others.)

None of this is explained to you particularly well. I spent my first few minutes with Amy wondering why the attack button did nothing, only to eventually think to check her skill tree and realize that I had to unlock her basic attack. If you don't bother to take the time to read through the skill trees, you'll very quickly find obstacles you have no way of getting past with no clues as to what exactly you're supposed to do.

Adding to this confusion is the fact that objective markers often tell you to go half a kilometer into the sky, and you'll have no idea how to get up there because all of the relevant platforms are out of your draw distance. Many objects seem to only pop in for me when I'm within about 60 meters of them, which isn't a long distance for a high-speed open world platformer like this. I was having this problem running the game with high graphics on PC, so I can only imagine how obnoxious it is on Switch. I'd frequently find myself poking around nearby clusters of platforming objects and praying that they'd lead me to a spring, rail, or cannon that would eventually point me in the direction of the floating objective marker.

There were always complaints about the art direction in Frontiers and the way it relies on floating rails and prefab platforms that are visually disconnected from the natural scenery of the islands, but it's even more dire here. The new platforming sections are dense and complex, but they seemingly didn't have the budget to change the topography of Ouranos Island at all, so it all takes the form of these prefabs. It very strongly gives the vibe of a Forge creation in Halo 3, back when there were no blank canvas maps and people just had to make "new maps" by jamming a bunch of shipping containers and barricades together in the sky above one of the default arenas.

I was still more or less having fun, though, despite the jank. It's a big creative swing, I told myself! They're trying stuff out! They're experimenting!

And then I hit the towers.

The towers are agonizing because they're SO close to being great. The logical part of my brain understands why some people love them, but god, I just fucking hate them. The platforming there IS cool! These layouts are cool! The individual challenges along the way are a bit tough, but totally doable. You know what's not cool? Making one mistake and slowly falling 800 meters all the way back down to the ground, forcing you to start over. Because none of these towers have checkpoints. For me, this one decision transforms what should have been a fun set of platforming challenges into a massive, unfun difficulty spike.

I enjoy some masocore platformers, but those are typically games with quick deaths and restarts like Celeste, Super Meat Boy, or VVVVVV. Hell, the Mario games tend to get way more difficult than the average Sonic game, and those are obviously all great. Quite frankly, unlike those games, Sonic Frontiers is nowhere near tight or polished enough to make this difficulty feel fair. Bits of jank that I could ignore in the base game due to its lower difficulty are now matters of life or death. Missing a jump because I boosted off an incline in a way the game didn't like for reasons I don't understand is not fun. Falling off a tower because the camera was pointing in the wrong direction while I was in midair and I couldn't see the next thing I was expected to homing attack is not fun.

And it's such a jarring spike when moving from the base game to the DLC that it feels like the game is suddenly quizzing me on skills it never bothered to instill in me. Maybe if you've spent the last year labbing out the movement tech in this game this is all a no brainer, but for the average returning player it's a kick in the dick.

I'm sure I could've beaten these towers normally if I gave them enough tries. They aren't the hardest thing in the world. But I very quickly decided I had better things to do with my life and turned on easy mode, which adds tons of extra springs and homing attack balloons to make all of the platforming piss easy. I wish there was a middle option between Only Up: Sonic Edition and this extreme hand holding, but when given the choice between the two I gladly picked baby mode. I just wanted to see the story.

(The new Cyber Space levels are also long, challenging, and devoid of checkpoints, not unlike the towers. But I only ever found the entrances to two of them. So I only did two. They're theoretically required, because they give you "Lookout Koco" that you need for... some reason? But in a rare act of mercy, Sonic Team put Cyloop treasure spots that give you free Lookout Koco all over the map.)

As I continued, so many little things started adding up to piss me off. Why do you only reveal like five tiny squares of the map at a time? I would've loved to find all the new 1-on-1 dialogue scenes, but not if I had to do dozens of hard mode versions of the stupid little puzzles and challenges to reveal the whole map. Why does every character need their own unique collectibles? What is this, Donkey Kong 64? Why can't I just grab this EXP for Amy when I find it as Tails? Why can I only manually swap characters by talking to an out-of-the-way NPC unlocked right before the final boss? Why is fast travel disabled? Why are the new vocal themes you hear when playing as Amy, Knuckles, and Tails so monotonous, with a single verse repeating over lo-fi beats ad nauseum? Why is the jukebox feature completely disabled throughout the DLC, even after rolling the credits? Why can't Tails homing attack? Why do I have to wrestle with the camera so much while also holding the jump button to fly as Knuckles and Tails? How many right thumbs do they think I have? Why is this animation for picking up animals in the Cyber Space levels so incredibly slow, and why can I still take damage while it's playing? Why does the stupid starfall event have to make it so hard to see what I'm doing when climbing these towers? Why does this shitty combat trial have a popup that makes it seem like I should be using the Cyloop when the actual strategy revolves around repeated parries? And on and on and on...

The story

What about the new story? Well, there sadly isn't much to chew on here. Most of the DLC has the cast running around and finding different macguffins for arbitrary reasons, as part of some sort of plan to divide up the work on the last island so that Sonic can go train with the spirits of the Ancients and harness the power of his cyber corruption. What the fuck is an Impact Form? I don't know, but Knuckles needs something to do, so go find one.

It's a thin excuse plot meant to make you do platforming challenges around Ouranos Island, with little room for Ian to add any real flavor of his own, even though he certainly tries. Having Sonic meet the spirits of the Ancients who controlled the Titans, who are revealed to directly parallel the personalities of him and his friends, is kinda neat, I guess? It's something. The optional conversations seem to have some fun bits, including both conversations between the supporting cast and additional lore. But again, I only found a few of those because of how tedious filling out the map was.

The writing is also let down by the voice acting - or I guess the voice direction, because I know this cast can do better. Roger's voice continues to be weirdly, distractingly deep as Sonic, which was clearly something that was requested of him just for this game. (For a recent example of him going back to his regular Sonic voice, see this LEGO trailer.) The performances of Sonic's friends are also WILDLY mismatched. This is most clear when they start feeling the effects of the cyber corruption. Knuckles seems to be barely affected at all, Tails sounds like he's moderately hurt and low on energy, and Amy starts completely overselling her pain out of nowhere. The extremely strained performance makes it sound like Cindy's literally being tortured in the fucking booth. I have no idea what's going on over there.

The final challenges

People have debated whether or not things like the towers and the new Cyber Space levels are fair challenges. What's not up for debate is the fact that Master King Koco's Trial is complete and utter bullshit, and I can't believe they shipped this.

Before you can fight the new final boss, the game forces you to do a boss rush of the first three Titans - INCLUDING the pre-Super Sonic climbing sections - with a hard limit of 400 rings. For all three lengthy, heavily scripted fights. Back to back. You can't even cheese it with the leveling system, because you're forced to do this at level 1. This all but forces you to look up speedrun strats for the Super Sonic fights so that you don't run out of rings and fail the trial.

And the real kicker? They changed the parry just for this trial! Originally, you could just hold down the bumpers endlessly and Sonic would ready himself to parry the next attack, whenever that may hit. Now it requires you to do a "Perfect Parry" with specific timing. And you HAVE to hit those parries if you wanna clear this trial and get to the new ending. Miss a few and you're probably fucked. You just have to reset. Time to go through all those fights, all those climbing sequences, all those QTEs, and all those unskippable mid-fight cutscenes all over again. This is by far the most egregious example of the DLC deciding to quiz you on new skills that the base game never required of you, and it's one of the most absurdly unfair things I have ever seen in a Sonic game.

Easy mode does make this trial easier by making the timing window for Perfect Parries much more generous, but that's all the help you get. It's still easy to lose time failing to parry Wyvern's hard-to-read animations, or to lose rings by getting hit on the climb sections, or for things to just fuck up because these fights were always kinda jank. I gave it a few shots. I looked up guide videos. I tried the Quick Cyloop and stomp combo strat that seems all but mandatory. But I quickly decided that, again, this wasn't a worthwhile use of my time. It just sucks. And I really, REALLY didn't want to overwrite all my fond memories of these Titan fights, some of my favorite setpiece moments in any Sonic game, with memories of this shit ass boss rush.

So I cheated! And if you're on PC, you should too.

With the worst hurdle out of the way, I turned cheats back off and moved on to the new final boss. It was pretty cool. It's much flashier than the original fight against The End, that's for sure. It's still kinda annoying, and it requires you to do very specific shit without properly telegraphing it, but it's nowhere near as bad as the preceding challenges. I was hoping for one last new metalcore song to go with the new fight, which we sadly didn't get, but at least the new version of I'm Here is good.

The ending is... mostly the same, with a couple altered scenes that don't really change anything in the long run. But overall the new finale was pretty good. I just wish it hadn't been such a slog to get there.

Closing thoughts

Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon wants to be three things:

A patch that adds a new alternate ending that was probably supposed to be in the base game in the first place.

An experimental take on making Tails, Knuckles, and Amy playable again, presumably testing things for the next game. And...

An official Kaizo Sonic Frontiers mod for the sickos.

The thing is, the people showing up for #1 and #2, the main things that Sega hyped up about the update, are not necessarily going to be down for #3. If they had announced some uber-hard new Cyber Space levels for the arcade mode or whatever, I'd be like, neat! And then not play them. I would never touch Master King Koco's Trial if it was an optional challenge. I would leave that for the sickos. But instead, they made the hardest content mandatory for anyone who wants to see the new Good Ending where the final boss gets an actual budget.

I'm mostly left in a state of shock that it shipped like this. I cannot believe they playtested this and decided this was the state The Final Horizon should be released in. That this should be the note Frontiers ends on. That this should be how we remember those Titan fights. That this should be the lingering taste in our mouths as we wait however many years for the next 3D game.

Armchair devs always love to say that things would be "easy to fix," but like... there really would be easy fixes for the insane difficulty and general tedium here! Add a few more tutorial popups explaining what the game expects of you with Sonic's friends. Give the Cyber Space stages and the towers a couple checkpoints. Give the combat trials more generous time limits, especially on the lower difficulties. Remove half of the map puzzles, and make the ones that remain uncover twice as many squares. Skip the startup animation for Knuckles' glide. Let me turn on the goddamn jukebox. Since so much of this update was designed around fan feedback, I can only pray that Sonic Team is still listening, and that they tweak at least a few of these things with a balance patch.

But still, after those many, many paragraphs of complaining... this still somehow makes the future of 3D Sonic seem pretty promising?

Sonic's friends are FINALLY playable again, and the focus is back to proper 3D platforming, rather than railroading players into awkward forced 2D sections in what's otherwise an open world. These are the things that they hopefully want to carry over to the next game. The difficulty? Well, that's just because it's the postgame DLC that's supposed to be the toughest challenge in the game. It's just an unreasonably cruel one of those - an example of how designing and balancing for a vocal minority of your fanbase can really hurt your game. But Sonic Team is onto something here, and I hope that they can learn the right lessons from this expansion and not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

[cartoonartistpng]

Dadphiles Master Post

Dadphiles is a Sonic AU that diverges from the Solaris fight in Sonic 06, wherein Mephiles separates from Iblis at the last moment. In his haste, he accidentally pulls a de-aged Sonic, Shadow, and Silver all to the past with him. Now Mephiles must watch over them as they grow up if he wishes to enact his revenge… He just wasn’t expecting them to call him “Dad”.

All posts can be found under the #Dadphiles AU tag.

Details below + Links:

This post will be updated as time goes on. New additions will be marked as (✨New!✨). Last update: (August 11, 2024)

Character Sheets

Sonic | Shadow | Silver | Mephiles

Height Chart (See above)

AU Lore

Mephiles/Iblis/Solaris breakdown (Art): Mephiles the Mind, Iblis the Heart

The Trinity Gods of Mobius: Gaia who provides the Earth, the Master Emerald who provides life, and Solaris who provides the sun.

Mephiles' Crystals: Pieces of his power, they allow Mephiles to reach Sonic, Shadow, and Silver across time and space even with his weakened state.

The Void: A place between time, like a pocket dimension, made by Mephiles' power. It allows him to protect the children without interfering with the rest of their respective points in time. It's a place of absolute darkness and when the children enter or leave, it is in a brief plume of dark smoke.

Due to Mephiles not having the full power of Solaris (something Iblis possesses but does not have the mental capacity to use), Mephiles does not know which threats to the SSS happened in the original timeline or if they're genuine threats. Therefore, he pulls them into the Void whenever they're in danger.

Animatics

Was it all a dream? (Post-Separation) - Tumblr

The sun is not a mortal's to control. (Sonic Forces) - Tumblr

(✨New!✨) Rage of a God (Sonic Forces) - Youtube

(✨New!✨) "Eat sh✩t and die" (Present Day) - Tumblr

Fanfics (Ao3)

And the Void was Silent - Ch 1/1

Comics

(✨New!✨) The Beginning - [Note: Pseudo-Canon]

(✨New!✨) Would you still Love me? (Present Day)

Timeline

Canon Divergence from Sonic 06 Final Battle >> (✨New!✨) The Beginning - Immediately after escaping the final blow, Mephiles finds he dragged three hoglets with him. (Mini Comic) [Note: Pseudo-Canon] >> And the Void was Silent - Mephiles' POV while raising Sonic, Shadow, and Silver. (Fic - Complete)

AU-Altered Sonic CD >> The Incident - Sonic, Shadow, and Silver are abruptly returned to their times, marking this the last time they see one another for years. Mephiles falls into a hibernation while the children are left lost wondering what happened.

Was it all a dream? (Animatic)

AU-Altered Sonic Adventure 2

AU-Altered Sonic Heroes

AU-Altered Shadow the Hedgehog

AU-Altered Sonic 06 >> "Destroy the seal of Iblis..." (Mini-Comic)

AU-Altered Sonic Forces >> The sun is not a mortal's to control. (Animatic) >> (✨New!✨) Rage of a God (Animation)

Present Day >> (✨New!✨) "Eat sh✩t and die" (Animation) - Mephiles, Vanilla, Vector >> (✨New!✨) Would you still love me? ( Comic) - Mephiles, Shadow, Silver, Sonic

-=-|-=-

Bonus art and answered Asks can be found under the #Dadphiles AU tag.

[srbachchan]

DAY 5881

Jalsa, Mumbai Mar 25/26, 2024 Mon/Tue 12:06 AM

Birthday - EF - Maryam Roustaeiyanpour .. greetings and happiness always on this day and many more days .. from the Ef family ..❤️🌹

🪔 ,

March 26 .. birthday greetings to Ef Maryam Roustaeiyanpour from Iran 🇮🇷 .. we remember you always .. and we pray for your wellness and happiness .. love from the Ef Family ever .. ❤️

At times , in a situation which has no individual involve or personal connect, the mind, on witnessing the happening takes sides .. a game, for example .. you desire inwardly that the spirit of the game should prevail and 'may the better team win' .. but inwardly you side one and desire victory for it .. at times it does not work and the side effects of it last .. the disappointment drives you to feel as though you yourself have lost or been defeated ..

And then ..

Another game begins ..

And the one you so inwardly wish to succeed, wins and there is an exuberance as though you were responsible for its victory ..

Yesterday, in a game we were defeated .. well just about .. tonight we won .. just about .. and the feelings hover about us .. in both situations ..

Life throws this dice so often before us .. never know until it stops rolling which side is it going to stop and face up ..

Whoever throws the dice has the unwanted responsibility of the final result ..

But the dice is a dice .. a material over which your command or performance responsibility is not within your hands .. or your wished mind ..

So you learn to accept .. or disrespect it ..

Acceptance , gives one the yearning and countenance , albeit in an imaginary environ, of saintly demeanour - of Godliness itself - provided the belief in the Almighty is ingrained within ..

If not .. the tendency to shift the blame to an ungodly force emanates ..

BUT ..

whatever be the outcome the yardstick is ever measured with that universal acceptance of .. GOD .. ALMIGHTY .. that saintly FORCE ..

Atheists vs Non Atheists .. thiests ..

We bring our belief to reality .. its existence .. its presence .. its force .. its happening .. ALL ..

Yet .. we are in denial when it comes to the actuality of a measure of form ..

OR ..

We put the belief in one that we consider with utmost conviction HIS form and presence in and and amongst us, in its human form ..

Each belief has an identity with form .. and that to them reflects the ultimate truth .. believe it or go seek another .. or none ..

LIFE gives so many options .. and is so forbearing ..

And we test it each moment and within our powers of its existence ..

The strength of conviction is personal .. committed and without fault .. the 'non' has a commitment too - without fault .. !!!!

AAHHHH ..

Life is so harsh- , benevolent and forgiving ..

Which is why we cannot find a suitable alternative - one way or the other ..

Unless .. AI .. takes over .. and in its generosity , gives us the space we need , desire or demand ..

Which I might add shall soon be directed in just ONE direction ..

THEIRS .. !!!

🤣

My affection .. my grace of your benevolence .. my servile submission to your love ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[zsorosebudphoto]

Dende o outro lado, Barreiro, Lisboa, Portugal, 03-06-23

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/06/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; New Events calendar; A Safe Space Ship Event; Watch Parties; Reminders; Cast & Crew Sightings; Clowning; OLD SPICE!; Stats!; Market Research?; Articles; Personal Update; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

== New Events Calendar from SaveOFMDCrew! ==

More events happening throughout the week! Tumblr Post

Tomorrow is Cosplay Day! Show off your cosplay and OFMD-Inspired outfits with the hashtags: #WearFineThingsWell!

= New Upcoming Event: A Safe Space Ship! =

Sunday, February 11th - Star of India in San Diego, CA! Museum Hrs: 10 am - 5 PM 1/2 Price Tickets!

== Watch Parties ==

Today's WWDITS watch party went great!

Lots of people had fun pointing out our lovely characters from the show (Mads, Taika, Rhys)

It actually went so well the SaveOFMDCrew twitter got banned! It's back though! If you can, please be sure to follow their backup account in case it happens again.

== Reminders! ==

Muppet Treasure Island - Feb 7th 2024 4PM EST, 1PM PST, 9 PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#MuppetPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

This was technically the 5th, but I don't think the excitement happened mostly today so I'm gonna throw it in! So Chaos Dad popped his head out yesterday just long enough to like Samba's BTS post on twitter and then also Samba and Rhys' little exchange.

And of course that triggered clowning since anytime Chaos Dad pops in we don our clown shoes. Thank you to @merryfinches for catching some of the discourse!

== Old Spice! ==

Well well well, we're back to polite menacing brands until they respond to us!

Looks like another Astroglide is starting up, the Crew is out there matching deodorants to characters. Thanks to @brainfugk for calling it out!

== Stats! Stats! Stats! ==

So close fam! Let's keep pushing that UK viewership if you have the time/spoons!

= Market Research Campaign about OFMD Potentially Going On? =

There's some speculation around the market research company YouGov potentially conducting research on OFMD. There's a big thread. Why is this important? Well this company works with streamers to measure viewership data, and if OFMD is in there...and someone's interested, that could be a good sign.

Some folks signed up, and if you're interested in doing so too, you can here.

== Articles ==

Some fun articles tonight, including Hard Drive again!

Joke Article: HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category

Our Flag Means Death and 9 Other Best TV Shows and Movies About Pirates

Our Flags Means Death fans get TV licence just to watch pirate show

== Personal Update ==

Some of you have heard, I got the COVID so I may be in and out over the next several days, I'm still trying to make sure I get to recaps though so don't worry! I'll let you know if I can't. Remember to mask up if you can and stay hydrated out there luvs!

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies. We've run out of Rhys videos for a few days so you're back to me being irritatingly loving at you! I saw this today on The Latest Kate's instagram and it reminded me of a few things I wanted to say. My brain is a bit covid-fogged so apologies if it's a bit wibbly wobbly.

We all struggle with so many little and big things in our lives. Whether it's mental health, self esteem, a physical ailment, love, lonliness, self-identity, family, friends, world conflicts, or anything, I could go on and on.

I know sometimes it feels like you are pushing so hard and you start making so much progress-- and then something, big or little stalls everything and you feel like you're having to start from scratch again.

I just want to send you a gentle reminder that progress isn't always linear. Just because you have lost momentum doesn't mean you've lost your progress. Every single situation is a learning opportunity and every time you run into a new hurdle, you learn from the last one.

You are wonderfully intelligent, kind, precious, complex people and no matter what you're dealing with, no matter how small or how big, you are moving forward and making headway bits at a time. Remember to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for bad days.

We are so proud of you lovelies, remember that.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs are courtesy of the glorious, brilliant, talented, ever-enabling @celluloidbroomcloset from her post over here.

Ok, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Goodnight all! <3

[pinkhairswagtourney]

please give a warm welcome to the 128 contestants of the pink hair swag tourney, part three !!

we have 57 new contenders and 71 returning competitors vying for the crown !! starting on 06/21/2023, we'll start voting to determine which of these pink haired characters is the swaggiest of all time !!

ROUND ONE MATCHUPS

PART ONE - 06/21 Iris Lovefeather - Tales of the Rays VS Lightning Farron - Final Fantasy Molli Pop - Candies n’ Curses VS Lily Tabacchi - Lily’s Well Yuyuko Saigyouji - Touhou Project VS Kasen Ibaraki - Touhou Project Madoka Kaname - Madoka Magica VS Aya Maruyama - Bang Dream! Vivian - Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door VS Anne Faulkner - Paradox Live Reona West - Prism Paradise VS Mirai Momoyama - Sparkling Prism Channel Crona - Soul Eater VS Chibiusa - Sailor Moon Satsuki Momoi - Kuroko no Basket VS Alice Asmodeus - Mairimashita! Iruma-kun

PART TWO - 06/22 Meninas McAllon - Bleach VS Neon Nostrade - Hunter x Hunter (1999) Shima Renzou - Blue Exorcist VS Szayelaporro Granz - Bleach Ln'eta - Sucker for Love: First Date VS Miyako Shikamori - Shikamori’s Not Just a Cutie Hot Pants - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure VS Yasuho Hirose - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Sheena Murphy - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles VS Scary Girl - Total Drama Cleo - Dragalia Lost VS Amy Pile - Grand Chase Mashiro Nijigaoka - Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure VS Nodoka Hanadera - Healin’ Good Pretty Cure Rina Tennoji - Love Live VS Mei Hatsume - My Hero Academia

PART THREE - 06/23 Mizuki Akiyama - Project Sekai VS Utena Tenjou - Revolutionary Girl UtenaSakura Miku - Vocaloid VS Goku Black - Dragon BallRose Quartz - Steven Universe VS Bonnibel Bubblegum - Adventure TimeLilim - Puyo Puyo VS Harpy - Puyo PuyoUlala - Space Channel 5 VS Jerrica Benton - Jem and the HologramsKohaku Oukawa - Ensemble Stars VS Ramuda Amemura - Hypnosis Mic Sara - Tales of Link VS Meido - Heaven’s Design TeamNatsu Dragneel - Fairy Tail VS Marluxia - Kingdom Hearts

PART FOUR - 06/24 Popuri - Harvest Moon VS Lyla - Harvest Moon Ramsey Murdoch - Epithet Erased VS Yoomtah Zing - Epithet Erased Trixie Roughhouse - Epithet Erased VS Giovanni Potage - Epithet Erased  Estellise Sidos Heurassein - Tales of Vesperia VS Sophia - Stardew Valley Expanded Clover Field - Zero Escape VS Zizel - Witch’s Heart Nikki - Love Nikki VS Zero Two - Darling in the Franxx Nana Hiiragi - Munou na Nana VS Amu Hinamori - Shugo Chara! Maggie Pesky - The Buzz on Maggie VS Jinmay - Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!

PART FIVE - 06/25 Reo Maruyama - Paradox Live VS Kazuichi Souda - Danganronpa Seraphine - League of Legends VS Violet - Arcane Jewelry Bonney - One Piece VS Koby - One Piece Perona - One Piece VS Shirahoshi - One Piece Minato Aqua - Hololive VS Himemori Luna - Hololive Mina Ashido - My Hero Academia VS Anya Forger - Spy x Family Kaoru Sakurayashiki - Sk8 the Infinity VS Nadeshiko Kagamihara - Yuru Camp Molly - Bubble Guppies VS Toadette - Mario Series PART SIX - 06/26 Hitori Gotoh - Bocchi the Rock! VS Mitsuri Kanroji - Demon Slayer Hinako Mishuku - Your Turn to Die VS Nao Egokoro - Your Turn to Die Riamu Yumemi - The iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls VS Miyu Sakurada - Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ Sucy Manbavaran - Little Witch Academia VS Chuatury Panlunch - Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Ran - Urusei Yatsura VS Akira Kogami - Lucky Star Ilima - Pokemon VS Pastille - Starry Flowers  Kumatora - Mother 3 VS Amy Rose - Sonic the Hedgehog Setsuno - Toriko VS Genkai - YuYu Hakusho PART SEVEN - 06/27 Aubrey - OMORI VS Iris Sagan - AI: The Somnium Files Muku Sakisaka - Act! Addict! Actors! VS Tori Himemiya - Ensemble Stars Ribbon - Kirby VS Strawberry Crepe Cookie - Cookie Run Cotton Candy Cookie - Cookie Run VS Rambutan Cookie - Cookie Run Narciso Anasui - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure VS Diavolo - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Yanagi Hanabusa - DREAM!ing VS Shion Mikekado - DREAM!ing Delta - Honkai Impact VS Elysia - Honkai Impact Kory Anders - Titans VS Gamora - Marvel Cinematic Universe PART EIGHT - 06/28 Sakura Haruno - Naruto VS Euphemia Li Brittania - Code Geass Kipo Oak - Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts VS Tom Lucitor - Star VS the Forces of Evil “Big” Jack Horner - Puss in Boots VS Princess Poppy - Trolls Machi Komacine - Hunter x Hunter VS Chika Fujiwara - Kaguya-Sama: Love is War Slurpuff - Pokemon VS Tinkaton - Pokemon Hilda Valentine Goneril - Fire Emblem: Three Houses VS Yae Miko - Genshin Impact Ortega - Pokemon VS Nurse Joy - Pokemon Tenebria - Epic Seven VS Tecna - Winx Club

[simply-whump]

Pit Babe (พิษเบ๊บ) - Whump List

Whumpees : Babe played by Pavel Naret and Charlie played by Pooh Krittin

Synopsis : Charlie wants to be a racecar driver but he doesn't have a racecar of his own. The only solution he comes up with is to make a bizarre agreement with king of the raceway Babe, nicknamed Pit Babe. Even stranger, Babe agrees to help Charlie realise his dream.(MDL)

Genres : Action, Comedy, Romance, Sports, BL

Warning! Possible spoilers below!

Babe

Ep 1 : None

Ep 2 : (04:06) Restrained, slapped twice

Ep 3 : (51:30) Feeling unwell, concern for him, upset — (54:50) Vision swimming a bit

Ep 4 : (03:15) Upset, punching a metal locker with his bare hand — (20:27) Attacked, beaten with metal bars — (26:55) Bruises on his back — (45:39) Issue with the car he’s driving, car explodes with him in it

Ep 5 : (Previous scene continues) (02:15) In a car on fire, explosion, concern for him, helped out of the car, falls to the ground, held, taken into an ambulance — (04:06) Brought into the hospital on a stretcher, groaning in pain — (04:30) In a hospital bed, leg in a splint — (09:09) Looked after — (24:35) Walking with a crutch, almost falls, helped —(30:49) Helped to walk — (41:24) Walking with limp, wincing in pain — (42:57) Realises he lost his super senses 

Ep 6 : None

Ep 7 : (17:28) Feeling betrayed, upset — (21:18) Crying — (40:17) Teary-eyed

Ep 8 : (15:14) Hit, kicked, fighting, hit, shot at

Ep 9 : (11:54) Punched — (17:30) Learns a shocking truth, paralysed by some power, kissed against his will, emotional, feeling betrayed, crying — (21:22) Crying, hugged 

Ep 10 : (10:20) Worried for Charlie — (12:13) Worried for Charlie, crying, getting his sense back, told Charlie died, devastated, passes out — (17:07) Wakes up, concern for him, crying, headache, devastated by Charlie’s death, hugged by his friends — (25:22) Crying, breaks down in front of Charlie’s grave, helped up — (36:44) Found laying on the ground in his house, completely spaced out, depressed — (39:36) Punched, upset, restrained — (43:58) Hit in the head twice, collapses on the ground, groaning in pain, bleeding, saved

Ep 11 : (01:46) Resting on a couch, given medication, small bandage on his forehead

Ep 12 : (33:19) At gunpoint, fighting, hit — (34:53) Treated — (46:15) Fighting, hit in the head, collapses, bleeding, finds out Charlie is alive

Ep 13 : (01:58) On the ground, bleeding from the head, finds out Charlie is alive, concern for him — (05:28) At gunpoint — (13:10) At gunpoint, hit — (16:30) Shot at, one of his friends dies in his arms (not Charlie), emotional, crying — (29:35) Grieving, crying — (34:33) Confronting his real father, emotional, crying

Charlie

Ep 1 : (07:19) Arm twisted behind his back

Ep 2-3 : None

Ep 4 : (20:40) Hit with metal bars while protecting Babe, arm injured, concern for him — (31:31) Arm in a sling

Ep 5 : (01:52) Worried for Babe

Ep 6 : None

Ep 7 : (26:50) Grabbed by the collar

Ep 8 : (14:48) At gunpoint — (15:26) Hit, bottle smashed on his arm, fighting, concern for him, shot at — (23:11) Checked for bruises, wounds treated

Ep 9 : (19:22) Paralysed, put to sleep, woken up

Ep 10 : (09:40) In a car crash during a race, unconscious — (12:11) Brought to the hospital on a stretcher, concern for him, ambu bag, goes into cardiac arrest, dies? — (23:40) Mourned 

Ep 11 : (06:55) Unconscious on a couch, wakes up — (16:21) Walking with a crutch, foot bandaged 

Ep 12 : (46:24) Saving Babe, fighting

Ep 13 : (16:30) Shot at

>> More Wump Lists

[sparkssys]

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

|-+-+-+-+-~~sparks system~~-+-+-+-+-|

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hey there! First of all, if you're here to start drama, fuck off before i know you're here. You don't wanna figure out what I'll do to protect them.

We're a traumaendo system of either 9 or 10, not sure yet!!

Most of our system members are endogenic but we have at least 2 traumagenic headmates.

Quick reference guide:

-💜 : Layla, traumaholder and persecutor (she/they/it)

-✨ : Glee, tulpa (they/she)

-☄️ : Magno, tulpa formed by stress and a breakdown (he/him)

-🫧 : Jake, femboy (he/him)

-🦴 : Sans, introject (he/him)

-syl : Sylvine, the avid gamer (she/her, also lesbian, her side blog is @sylvineslair . She doesn't front much because she gives us a huge headache.)

-carol : Carol

-⭐ : Avery: traumagenic little who just got back from dormancy. Probably the core. We don't know for sure and we don't care enough to figure that out.

There's (i think?) 2 headmates who don't really front in the same way we do, one is a drowser and the other we know nothing about.

More info under the cut!

~+~Useful info~+~

We are very inconsistent with sign-offs. You can just ask who posted what.

We are inconsistent with pronouns and we use i/me/we/us interchangeably. We don't care enough about it to change how we write.

We are autistic and collectively transfem. Some of our headmates aren't comfortable with feminine terms, so when in doubt, just use they/them pronouns.

Please use tone tags.

We no longer have a host, the lines are way too blurred to appoint one and it's an unnecessary label anyways.

We are not endo neutral. We are pro-endo. If you don't like that, leave. I have no patience for anti-endo rethoric and some "neutral" people are so infuriatingly hypocritical. -Layla

DNIs don't work. Don't like me? Block me. I don't have the time to check if you're some asshole crosstagging on my tags, and it's your responsibility to curate your own space, anyways.

After some time in both sides of proship discourse, I have decided I'm okay with people doing whatever. Antis are just toxic haters most of the time that don't even intend to try to help, they just straight up dehumanize and demean people they don't agree with. Y'all suck.

Also after some time in both sides of transID discourse, I've decided I don't actually give a shit about what they identify as and why. If I personally don't fuck with it, I'll block you. You do you and I do me.

-=edit log under the cut=-~please skip

15/05/24 13:32 PM: added tags

17/05/24 12:01 PM: updated the label we use for the system's origin, because it's far more complicated than we thought

17/05/24 12:53 PM: linked to post about Layla's gender and sex

19/05/24 18:02 PM: linked to Layla's stance about anti endos

30/07/24 14:30 PM: Deleted old text and links and prepared it for an update.

30/07/24 14:53 PM: Updated headmate list and basic info about them, added useful info for people interacting.

30/07/24 15:17 PM: Finished updating the post by linking to an informative older post, adding blinkies and userboxes and more information.

30/07/24 15:25 PM: Just realized I'm a persecutor more than a protector. Edited the label. - Layla

08/08/2024 05:59 AM: Cleared up some text that I should've deleted earlier and got lost in the middle of the edit log. Also added further clarification on some older edits.

08/08/2024 06:01 AM: Moved the cut to right above the start of the edit logs to better organize the information flow.

29/08/2024 6:22 PM: Added info on our stances.

29/08/2024 9:27 PM: Updated various information about how we interact with tumblr.

30/08/2024 04:26 AM: Cleaned up some old quirks and outdated text.

02/09/2024 12:35 PM: Linked to a very important post about my situation

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫: 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 02 of 06 | masterpost

word count: 5,4k | ao3 link | fic's playlist

He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I wondered if he too would be feeling the happiness that sang in my chest at that moment, like a little miracle had just unfolded before us. It was hard to find another word to describe it. He’d found me. After so many years, he’d found me.

✦ on this chapter: james hetfield x female!oc, dave mustaine x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, grief, smut mentioned/implied

✧ Once you told me, "Look for the North Star, then you'll see" / Heavenly, I hear / Found my way to the beach / There were waves over me / I was lost at sea 'til you found me / 'til you found me ✧

May 20, 1984

Settling into the new home my parents had bought for me turned out to be easier than I’d expected, especially since my friends had moved in with me; we all shared the same space and, slowly but surely, it was shaping up to be our own little slice of paradise, buzzing with music, chatter, and laughter as we got everything sorted.

But everything felt eerily still when I arrived home on that Sunday afternoon. I opened the front door, spotting a few moving boxes still hanging out in the living room. I glanced around, puzzled, eyeing the empty space and wondering where the gang had vanished to. That's when I caught the distant murmur of voices drifting from the kitchen.

"You can't just go after him, James. It's gonna wreck our reputation, have you even thought about that?" Lars' voice carried down the hallway, tinged with irritation.

"You think I give a damn about our reputation when he's out there dissing my girl?" James shot back, his voice tinged with anger. I arched an eyebrow, definitely intrigued now as I made my way closer. I reached the kitchen door to find Lars leaning against the sink, his brow furrowed, while James, so much taller, paced back and forth, his fists clenched. "I couldn't care less. Let him yap about us all he wants, but lay off her. I'm gonna beat the crap out of him, then maybe he'll learn to keep his trap shut."

"Hey, guys," I interjected, and James halted his pacing immediately, both him and Lars shooting me a startled look, like they'd just seen a ghost. A knot twisted in my gut as I realized they were probably talking about something they didn't want me to know about. "What's the deal?"

"Nore!" Lars chirped, a bit too brightly, as he hastily snatched something off the table. I narrowed my eyes, noting it was a cassette tape he was awkwardly trying to stuff into his pocket. "Oh, it's, uh, nothing important!"

"What's that?" I inquired, nodding toward the cassette in his grasp. James shot him a pointed glare, and Lars swallowed hard.

"It's, um, nothing, really! Just..." He stumbled over his words as I closed the gap between us, grabbing his arm and snatching the tape from his grip. "Hey!"

"If it's really nothing, then you won't mind me taking a look, right?" I challenged. James shot me a worried look before striding over towards me.

"Nore, hand it over," he demanded, his tone grave, his brow furrowed. I stared at him, torn between defiance and confusion.

"No," I shot back, turning on my heel and bolting up the stairs.

"Nore!" James called out, chasing after me, but I was already too far ahead. I reached our shared room and slammed the door shut, locking it behind me. James pounded on the door, growing increasingly frustrated. "Nore! Come on, give it back!"

"Unless you've got another girlfriend, this has gotta be about me, right?" I challenged, and he grunted, kicking the door in frustration. "You’re gonna start keeping secrets from me now?"

"You don't get it. It's for your own good. Just let me in!"

I brushed off his demand, which only earned me a frustrated growl from him. Fixing my gaze on the tape in my hand, my heart skipped a beat when I spotted the band name: Megadeth. There wasn't much else on the tape besides handwritten song titles on the label. I'd been keeping tabs on the Californian metal scene enough to know this wasn't just any old tape — it was a demo. I couldn't help but wonder how Lars and James got their hands on it, and what the hell it had to do with me.

"Come on, Nore!" James's pounding on the door grew more urgent as the music began to play, the cassette inserted into the tape deck in our room. "You don't wanna hear this. Trust me!"

I stayed silent, my heart doing some churning uncomfortably in my chest as I recognized Dave's voice emanating from the speakers. I blinked in surprise; I remembered he was scouting for a vocalist for the band back when we were together, but I had no clue he'd decided to take on the role himself. Somehow, that made it all worse; I wasn't prepared to hear his voice. I wasn't ready for the flood of emotions that hearing him but not being able to talk to him, see him, or touch him brought crashing over me. I wasn't ready for the fury radiating from his voice, blazing like a wildfire, channeling all his pain into his music. And then, it hit me what he was singing about.

My only love, something I've never felt / Now you've gone to heaven and I'll burn in hell / I loved you to death!

Oh. Was that why James was so adamant about me not hearing the tape? Could that song possibly be...?

And now I'm down below / And what do I see? / You didn't go to heaven / You’re down in hell with me / And now you’re coming back / “baby take me please!” / I really think I would, if you weren't such a sleaze / I loved you once before, you kept me on a string / I'd rather go without than take what you would bring / I loved you to death!

I chewed on my lip, my stomach twisting as the song came to its end, struggling to make sense of everything I'd just heard. Suddenly, it all clicked. I understood why James had tried to shield me from it; Dave's lyrics were harsh, dripping with anger and bitterness, a far cry from the sweet and caring Dave I once knew. For a fleeting moment, I tried to convince myself it couldn't be about me — but who else could it possibly be about?

For months, I'd been wondering what he'd say if I ever found him. Would he listen? Would he let me explain? And for months, I'd been living with this fear — that he'd hate me, that he wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. But I'd always held onto hope; hope that I could make things right, that I could clear things up somehow. Yet, that song... It crushed whatever hope I had left.

It hurt me more than I could say.

I stood up and swung open the bedroom door, finding James right there, his blue eyes filled with concern. I threw myself into his arms, trying to hold back the tears. He sighed and hugged me back.

"I warned you not to listen," he grumbled.

"And you were just gonna keep this from me forever?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"If it meant not hurting you, then yeah."

"James, I deserved to know," I said, pulling back to look at him. He reached up and wiped away a tear, his touch gentle on my cheek.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he said softly, planting a light kiss on my forehead.

"Where'd you snag this tape, anyway?"

"Our producer gave it to Lars. Said Dave's using that Mechanix song we had on our album as The Four Horsemen..."

"Those were his songs, James. He's got every right to do so."

"Why do you still stick up for him, even after all this?" he frowned, a hint of annoyance in his voice, then sighed. "Sure, he can use his fucking songs. But he doesn't get to pen this garbage about you."

I shook my head with a sigh.

"It's so not fair," I said, trying to push down the shake in my voice. "He jumped to thinking I'd just cheat on him, replace him outta nowhere. Didn't even give me a chance to explain; just up and left. And I..." James pulled me into another hug as my voice hitched, making it tough to keep talking. "I still miss him. And I wish..."

"Nore..." James murmured, squeezing me tight, and I sighed, shutting my eyes. "You miss him that much? Aren’t you happy with me?"

"Course I'm happy with you," I replied, my voice muffled against him, hugging him close and soaking in the comfort of his scent as I buried my face into his chest.

"Then stay with me ," he said, his voice gravelly, stroking my hair tenderly. "I'm here. And I would never hurt you like that. Maybe it's time to... let this go. I can make you happy, Nore. Promise."

"You already make me happy," I murmured, sniffing softly and pulling away from his embrace, wiping away the tears that insisted on falling. James cupped my face in his hands, giving me a gentle, affectionate kiss on my lips.

I loved James. That certainty had grown in my chest over the past few months until it became unbearable, impossible to ignore. But could I allow myself to forget Dave like that? Could I allow myself to move on and leave behind a love that had changed my life? Even if he hated me, my heart still beat for him. Could I allow myself to let go of that feeling? 

Could I?

September 5, 1986

Ever since James and I’d started dating, James had always been warm. Warm and cozy, like a lit fireplace on a winter night, enough for me to always want to be around — always there, always comforting. As we lay together, both totally spent after spending most of the night pleasuring each other, he started planting little, lazy kisses on my neck, his hand resting flat on my belly. His blond locks tickled my cheek, his breath warm against my bare skin. 

"I feel like something's off with me," I mumbled, and he stopped kissing me, his lips lingering against my neck.

"I’ll stop if you want me to," he whispered, his arms enveloping me, drawing me snug against his bare skin. James had this knack for drawing me in tighter whenever I hinted at pulling away. He just couldn't resist keeping me close, and honestly, I didn't mind one bit. "Just say the word if you need me to back off," he murmured softly.

"No, it's not that," I replied, turning to face him with a sigh. His blue eyes locked onto mine, curious. I let out another soft sigh, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips. He responded instantly, pulling me closer, his grip firm.

"What's on your mind then?" he asked, his lips trailing from mine to my neck once more. I sighed again, closing my eyes, my fingers tangling in his hair as heat pooled between my legs.

"I don't want you guys to leave," I admitted, and he paused his kisses, pulling back to meet my gaze. I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks as I looked away. "I know it's part of your job. I know you've been on countless tours, and this one won't be any different. But... I just wish you'd stay, just this once."

James gave a nod, pulling me into a tight hug and planting a gentle kiss on my temple. The whirlwind of tours and gigs wasn't a walk in the park for either of us. Sure, it had its perks, but the constant movement, the jam-packed schedule that I struggled to keep pace with, and the long stretches of time apart definitely took their toll on our relationship. Especially now that the band was hitting new heights of success; I wanted to be there for them every step of the way, but reality dictated otherwise with my own commitments.

It hadn't been such a big deal in the past; after over two years as James's girlfriend and spending loads of time with Cliff and the boys, I was used to the drill. But this time, there was this gnawing feeling in my chest, like something wasn't quite right. It wasn't exactly that I wanted them to stay or that I wanted to tag along but couldn't; it was more like I just didn't want them to leave. I didn't want them out there while I was feeling this jittery, like something was about to go south any second.

"I'm probably being a bit selfish," I admitted, meeting James' eyes.

"Nah, not at all," he countered, running his fingers through my hair and flashing me a grin, clearly trying to lift my spirits. "I'll make it up to you, promise. I'll bring back souvenirs from everywhere we hit. What do you say? We'll be back before you know it, Nore. Trust me."

I gave a nod, a small smile tugging at my lips. There was no point in dumping all my worries on James; things would work out, somehow. I nestled closer to him, giving him a hug before planting a soft kiss on his jawline.

"Meanwhile..." he started, his lips meeting mine as he settled over me. I let out a soft chuckle, looping my arms around his neck; he leaned back, giving me a smile tinged with mischief, his hands trailing up my thighs in a way that sent shivers down my spine, anticipation building within me. "I think we should make the most of my being here while we still can. What do you say?"

"Hmm... sounds like a plan," I answered, and he chuckled, leaning in to kiss me once more.

March 13, 1987

Backstage used to be my sanctuary, but not anymore.

The buzz, the drinks, the laughter, the pounding music — those were the things that used to make me feel alive. Completely in the moment. But ever since Cliff had left us, the whole scene had just become another stress trigger. It was cruel, how I would still catch myself hoping to spot him any minute, beer in hand or puffing on a cig before hitting the stage, tuning his bass with that grin of his like he was born to rock out. Then reality would hit me seconds later, reminding me that I would never see him again.

That he was gone.

That night’s gig marked my first outing since the accident. I only agreed to go 'cause I knew James was missing me like crazy, especially after everything went down. It stung how Cliff's death had torn us apart, making it damn near impossible for us to even be in the same room despite still loving each other; it was all just too raw, too painful to wrap our heads around.

But I stuck it out for the whole show, even though my heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice seeing the band up there with a different lineup, knowing it shouldn't be that way. Jason, the new bassist, was actually pretty damn good; I knew my aunt and uncle had loved him, and knowing he had their stamp of approval made things a bit easier to swallow. I didn't know him too well yet, but he came off as friendly and laid-back. Plus, his passion for the band and music had me smiling, thinking about how Cliff would've dug having someone with that same fire taking his spot.

Once the show wrapped, I didn't stick around for the inevitable after-party. While James and the guys were all caught up sorting out post-gig stuff, I slipped out the back, lighting up a smoke with a sigh. A persistent headache throbbed away, making me regret coming in the first place.

"Miss you, you dumbass," I muttered to myself, feeling the sting of tears threatening to spill over.

If I'd known that accident was coming, I would've done anything to stop Cliff from stepping foot on that bus. I would've volunteered to take his spot, even crawled into the bed he was in when it all went down. I would've traded places with him in a heartbeat, and I would've gone to my grave with a smile on my face. 'Cause living in a world without him was a nightmare worse than anything I'd ever imagined.

And now, all I could do was wish I would wake up back in our cozy home, catching a whiff of the coffee he used to brew up and hearing his gentle chuckle as he teased Leanne about tying the knot some day, all in that playful tone that barely masked his real longing — to live . To start a family, maybe have some kids, buy a house for his folks, and grow old doing what he loved, soaking up the rewards of his talent.

But none of that was in the cards anymore.

And I had remained, an empty, unrecognizable shell of the lively girl I used to be. I didn't know a life without Cliff — he had been my rock since forever. He'd been there since day one — I mean, literally, he was around before I was even born. We grew up side by side, like two peas in a pod, and now what was left of me was rotten, alone, and meaningless.

What was I without him, if he was such a huge part of who I was?

How many more losses in my life would I have to take?

Suddenly, I remembered Dave. The first boy I'd ever really loved, that kind of love that shakes you to your core. Losing him hurt like hell, no doubt about it. But compared to losing Cliff, it was like small fry. Still, Dave was the first real loss I’d ever faced. When all my efforts to track him down hit dead ends, I had to learn to live with the hole he left behind. After all these years, I still thought about him from time to time, but it didn't sting as bad as it used to.

I couldn't help but wonder if the ache in my heart from Cliff's absence would ever dull down like it had with Dave. Or if I'd have to face an even bigger blow, something that'd make this pain seem like child's play in comparison. 

After roaming the city streets for hours, I finally headed back to the hotel. When I got to the floor where the band was crashing, I bumped into Jason, standing by his room’s door.

"Hey, Nore," he said, his voice sounding rough, and I gave him a puzzled look. Was he crying?

"Hey, Jason. You all good?"

"I-I'm good," he mumbled, voice low, avoiding eye contact as he sniffled and wiped his face with his hand. Yeah, definitely not okay.

"You're not out there with the guys. What's up?" I asked, and he glanced up, his brown eyes a bit bloodshot, cheeks flushed.

"It's just... It's been kinda rough trying to fit in with the band. Especially with all these pranks they pull..." he trailed off.

"Pranks? What do you mean?" I frowned.

"Oh, it's nothing!" he rushed to say. "You know, just dumb stuff. It's just that it always catches me off guard, like now... I went back to the room to grab a jacket and found they'd messed it all… Up…" He slowly stopped talking as I brushed past him, turning the doorknob of his room and pushing the door open.

I froze in my tracks, utterly stunned by the sight before me. Jason's room was a complete disaster zone — suitcases torn open, clothes strewn all over, mattress gone, and beddings tangled up in the ceiling fan. Furniture flipped over like a hurricane had blown through. I just stood there, dumbfounded. Whoever did this wasn't messing around — it was straight-up hostility, so blatant it snapped me out of my own sadness and fired me up with anger.

"Jason, who did this?" I spun around to face him, my expression blazing, and he took a step back, clearly rattled.

"Nore, it's no big deal, really..." he started, but I cut him off.

"Whoever trashed your room needs to answer for it. This is not okay! I'm going straight to James; he'll sort this out..."

"No, please," he pleaded, cutting me off. "Please, that'll only make things worse! Don't talk to them, I'm begging you…"

I gawked at him, trying to wrap my head around what I was seeing, the pieces slowly fitting together in a puzzle that made no sense. 

"Jason," I began cautiously, "did James and the guys pull this stunt on you?"

He stayed silent, which I interpreted as a confirmation. My gut twisted in discomfort. What were they thinking? That wasn't our style. Sure, we'd get a bit wild sometimes, drink too much, goof around — but deliberately messing with someone? It just didn't add up.

Just then, the elevator chimed, and out stumbled a clearly wasted James, grinning when he spotted Jason.

"Hey, Newkid!" he slurred, stumbling over his words as he came over and slung an arm around Jason's shoulders, who shot him a nervous grin. "Check out the new decor in your room, dude! Pretty rad, huh?" He burst into laughter.

"James, what the hell is this?" I demanded, my voice shaky. He glanced up, looking surprised to see me there.

"Hey, babe. You dipped out, what's the deal?" he asked, dropping his arm from Jason's shoulders and stepping toward me. I folded my arms, taking a step back. He furrowed his brow, confused. "What's eating at you?"

"You tell me. What's the deal with this mess?" I gestured to the chaos in Jason's room. James just grinned, shaking his head.

"Princess, it was just a prank... Come on," he said, reaching for my hand, but I shrugged him off, stomping heavily toward our room. "Hey, hold up... Baby!" James called after me, trailing behind.

Ignoring him, I swung open the door and grabbed my bag, hastily scooping up the scattered clothes and belongings. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall — not now.

"Nore, what the fuck are you doing?" James rushed into the room, grabbing my arm. I shook him off, backing away, glaring at him through teary eyes, my breaths coming in uneven gasps. "Babe, what's going on?"

"How can you even ask? What, you think it's funny to be some kind of bully now?" I demanded, my voice quivering. James shook his head, looking utterly baffled by my reaction.

"Nore, chill out! It was just a prank..."

"What kind of prank is this? This isn't us, James. Why are you guys messing with him?" I snapped, continuing to pack up my stuff. "Cliff would never stand for this."

James took a step back, looking like I'd slapped him. His brow furrowed, jaw clenched.

"And how would you know?" he shot back, and I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"You think you knew him better than I did, James? Seriously?"

"Nore, it was just a joke..."

"A joke ? Really?" I shouted, tears finally breaking free. "I can't deal with this, James. What's gotten into you? He's not to blame for what happened to Cliff!"

"I get it. Nore, just try to calm down," he said, coming closer and taking hold of my wrists, locking eyes with me. "Take a deep breath, okay?"

"James, this isn't fair," I choked out through sobs. "Can't you see? We've been falling apart since he left. You're angry, and you're bitter, and you're mean , and sometimes I don't even recognize you anymore, and I hate it! And I feel like nothing — I don't feel like me anymore without him. You don't need me like this."

"I do need you."

"I'm fucking broken, James."

"No, you're not!"

"I am !" I burst out, my voice cracking. "You deserve someone who won't lose it over every little thing like this, James. You deserve better than me. I'm not good for you anymore. I'm not good for anyone, for anything."

"So what's the fucking deal?" he asked, his voice shaky, desperate, his blue eyes brimming with pain. "You’re breaking up with me now?"

I didn't say anything, just locked eyes with him, feeling my heart twist painfully as I realized something had broken right then and there. I loved James, but how could I love anyone fully when my pain consumed me like this, leaving little space for anything else? How could I let myself be loved when his anger kept driving us further apart, drowning out our love in all the noise?

I let out a heavy sigh, my breath trembling, and released his hands from mine.

"I'm heading back home. I'll pack up and catch the next flight..." I mumbled.

"Nore, don't do this," James pleaded, reaching for my hands again, but I pulled away.

"I can't, James. I'm sorry. Just... Please, let me go," I sobbed, burying my face in my hands as I sank onto the bed.

Not too long ago, James would've never left me like this. He would've been there, comforting me, holding me tight and never letting go. But things weren't like they used to be, and the world didn't work the way it should anymore.

So, he just walked away, leaving me alone with my pain.

Over the next few years, James and I attempted to patch things up time and time again — but it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. We just couldn't get back to where we were before. Eventually, we drifted apart and started seeing other people, searching for happiness in different eyes, different embraces, different kisses.

But it was useless.

The ache in my chest lingered, a constant reminder of the emptiness that echoed in both of us. And no matter how hard we tried to keep our distance, we always found our way back to each other. We never went back to using those labels — boyfriend, girlfriend — but we couldn't deny the pull between us. I always found myself drawn back to James, and he always found his way back to me.

Eventually, I got used to that kind of love, a mix of joy and sorrow that felt like the only steady thing in a crazy world, a way to bury my own unhappiness. Over the years, me and the guys stayed tight, because what other choice did we have? They were my family, and I was theirs.

I tried to tell myself that maybe I'd never feel that same spark of life again, but hey, at least I wasn't totally miserable. Even though I'd lost a lot and sadness seemed to follow me like a shadow, I still had some good things left — maybe with time, I could figure out how to move forward again. Maybe this was as good as it got.

I almost bought into it.

Until Dave found me.

February 18, 1992

In the end, it was him who found me.

After all the failed attempts, all the heartache, all the rage, all the emptiness I'd been carrying around for years without him, it all came crashing down in that moment when our eyes locked. Time seemed to stand still, his hand on my shoulder sending a jolt through my body, making my heart lose any sense of rhythm.

"Dave?" I whispered, and the sound of my own voice seemed to stir something in his eyes, an old and familiar pain, but also hunger, happiness, and ecstasy.

It was really him.

It was really, really him.

"Hey," he said, and the normalcy of his answer made me chuckle. He grinned at my laughter, that old, beautiful smile, and my heart seemed to melt into pure warmth and affection.

How could I have lived so long without him?

"Hey," I replied, a smile stubbornly appearing on my face. " What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Junior's dating that Music Now anchor; she hooked us up with some tickets. David, David Ellefson," he clarified, noticing my confusion. "I ended up calling him that. Can't have two Daves in the band, and I called dibs first, so..." He trailed off, a small grin playing on his lips that I couldn't help but mirror. "Wanna grab a table? You were getting some food, right? We can catch up for a bit..."

"Sure thing," I nodded eagerly. We snagged an empty table and settled in. I poked at my food, but my appetite took a backseat with him sitting across from me. Dave seemed both different and the same, all at once. He was still as good-looking as ever, with his ginger hair cascading over his shoulders, warm hazel eyes, and that familiar crooked smile that always got me.

"So, what brings you here?" he asked.

"Oh, I work here," I answered, grinning when he raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised.

"Really? What do you do?"

"I act. Just landed my first lead role in a TV series."

"So you ended up in the arts, huh?" he remarked. "I remember you were tossing around the idea of studying something like that back when... Well, back when we were a thing."

I blinked, feeling the flush rise to my cheeks. I was so thrilled to see him again that, for a moment, I almost forgot how our last encounter had been a train wreck for both of us. How the end of our relationship had left us both hurting and confused. How so many misunderstandings had ruined our love beyond repair. 

"Dave," I began, my voice faltering with nerves. "I know it's been forever... But there's so much I want to say. So much I need to explain. I—" I trailed off as he reached for my hand, his grasp enveloping mine, so much larger and warmer, sending my heart racing.

"No worries," he answered, his voice gentle as he kept his gaze locked on mine. "We can talk. I reckon doing it here might be a bit tough, huh? How about we pick a day just for that?"

The idea of meeting up again brought a wave of relief to my face. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I wondered if he too would be feeling the happiness that sang in my chest at that moment, like a little miracle had just unfolded before us. It was hard to find another word to describe it.

He’d found me.

After so many years, he’d found me.

We chatted away for the rest of the party, mostly about work stuff. Everything felt oddly familiar yet different at the same time, and we kind of danced around the real thing: all the emotions we'd been through during our time apart, the fights and secrets that tore us apart when we still cared about each other, and whether we still felt the same way. 'Cause, honestly, I could barely look at him without feeling my whole body fill with a wild happiness, feeling alive like I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

As the party wound down, we lingered by the entrance, chatting quietly while Charlie made the rounds saying her goodbyes. We seized the moment to swap phone numbers, sharing hopeful smiles and whispered words. The night air was chilly, sending shivers down my spine. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the cold.

"Feeling cold?" Dave asked, already slipping off his blazer and draping it over my shoulders before I could respond. I looked up at him, feeling my cheeks flush, and he grinned. "You can hang onto that. Gives us a good excuse to make sure we see each other again."

The ride home flew by in a blur; I hardly paid attention to Charlotte's excited chatter about the party. Instead, I clung to Dave's coat, feeling its warmth seep into me. His scent lingered in the fabric, intoxicatingly close, like it could drive me crazy.

I must’ve been dreaming, right?

It felt like I was living in a dream. Running into him after all these years, completely by chance, seemed too good to be true. For so long, I'd convinced myself that happiness and hope were out of reach. Turns out, I was dead wrong. I had no clue what the future held — no idea what would come of this unexpected reunion. But the chance to make things right, to clear up the misunderstandings of the past, even just a little bit, felt like a gift too good to pass up.

All I could do that surprising night was hope it wouldn't all vanish by morning. Hope his voice would be there when I called the next day, because I could hardly wait to see him again.

That night, I didn't have any nightmares.

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