#love a good gaud post

[rielzero]

Me: I'm feeling down, I should draw some vent art again.

Also me: *somehow makes it.. gay instead of sad*

I blame the summer for this.

[tawneybel]

WATCHED NOPE. IN THE MARKET FOR A PET SAND DOLLAR.

Anyone doing anything fun for the holidays? One of my friends suggested we exchange recipes for Christmas. This is the third year in a row House Bel will not have a tree because of the hound Frau Gaude left behind in the year of our Lord 2020. 

Another friend came over to watch movies and drink tea. Raisins normally aren’t my thing, but her oatmeal raisin cookies were sooo good. My 60+ lb. dog loves her a lot and fell asleep on her. T_T It’s also time for the former to go winter goblin mode.

We watched the Weird Al movie and a Dickhouse Production. I asked her how she thought American comedy differed from other countries’. “More slapstick.” Jackass is just on its own level. Skipped the [REDACTED] scene as soon as we saw it was going to be a [REDACTED] scene. 

It made her nauseous. We both watched Nope, separately, and I told her the internal scene made me feel sick in part due to the fact I ate a mushroom pizza beforehand. Her: “I just don’t eat before horror movies.” Then we reminisced about the time we watched Hannibal while I had lunch.

“Hannibal’s one of those things you shouldn’t watch while eating.” *friend points to my plate* “This is vegetarian… vegan.”

Going to try to catch more 2022 movies throughout now and January then do my annual ranking. Still badly want to see The House, Skinamarink, Wakanda Forever, etc., etc. And catch up on imagine requests. Might start posting two a week come 2023 if it’s not too busy. Or at least start posting more top ten lists. 

The House: Been on a stop motion kick and think we need more of it and also film anthologies. 

Skinamarink: Surreal horror movie based on childhood nightmares? Yesyesyes. 

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever: Namor. (  o  )  (  o  ) I am looking respectfully with eyes like saucers. 

Song of the day: “Love Like Winter” by AFI.

[kierthehecc]

oh boi

I’m sure blessed to have the cursed being that is Gaud on my feed because I aspired to have that cursed-ness myself. I mean I’m already a chaotic dumbass so

[badolmen]

Man, you guys remember iamfish? An actually wholesome beacon of happiness and self love on this God forsaken website? Remember when terfs ran them off the site and spammed them with suicide bait? I think Gaud is our punishment for not preventing that.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

welcome new followers! here's some info to get started

this blog posts a lot! for filtering purposes, here are my COMMON TAGS:

#gaudy quotes, posts that include my more outlandish remarks

#gaudy fanart (bc for some reason my amazing artist followers sometimes use their impressive talents to draw my silly little internet persona)

#long post (usually humorous but require some scrolling)

#not a shitpost for posts that don't have a punchline (but you may find interesting or helpful)

#clown tw or #another good clown post, most of which are not good posts :)

#another good vampire post (most of which actually are good posts)

#ocean tw and #whale tw (the ocean makes me anxious and i am generous enough to spread that anxiety around)

#actuallyautistic, bc I'm autistic and sometimes I post about that. similarly, #mental health for posts about self-care, ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc.

#serious post (for posts that include more serious topics)

#tw [topic] for common trigger warnings, such as 'tw insect' or 'tw body horror' or 'tw trauma'. I use a lot of these, feel free to make requests! I try to be consistent, but please remind me if I forget something.

#harassment tw (I occasionally post about my experiences with being the target of an online smear campaign, and my thoughts on harassment culture)

#not OSHA compliant for images you probably don't want showing up  on your screen at work or school. rarely necessary, but useful for filtering  things like baboon butts etc.

#sexual humor most of my jokes are clean, but a few of them use bawdy humor. please filter appropriately!

And here is some GENERAL INFO:

Hi! You can call me Gaudy or Gaud (pronounced 'god,' which is a complete coincidence I am not responsible for, these things just seem to happen to me). I'm they/them.

this blog has a huge archive of shitposts, bizarre facts & random positivity, enjoy! There are almost 45 thousand original posts & articles here, if you are looking for the mental & emotional equivalent of being swallowed by quicksand and simultaneously engulfed by a rock slide <3

here are some old favorites to get you started: The Dollar Post, The Nickel Post, Twitter vs Tumblr, Boy’s Night, Make This Creepy, and some various random others etcetera, no wait here have some more!!! wait i lied here’s more

I also do some creative humor/horror writing, including: Clown Meat Deli Dream, the April Fool’s Saga of the Door, and Don’t Touch the Pink Stuff

yes I am responsible for the Grinch x Tony the Tiger Fanfic

please point out any typos!

(Here’s where my name comes from btw. at this point I can't really afford to change it, or it wouldn't still be a harry potter reference.)

I love reading your comments, feel free to interact on anything I post! (just be respectful to others and use common sense about netiquette)

i’m disabled & unemployed, so my online content is my main source of income, and I spend full-time hours on it. to keep this blog free of ads & sponsors, I rely on reader support. there is never any obligation to donate! but please be aware that some of my posts will include paypal or ko-fi links, which I will try to keep unintrusive. i am just trying to make a very modest living doing something i love and value; this is my detailed response to criticism over 'demanding money to tell jokes'

if you enjoy & want to support my content, $2+ monthly ko-fi support makes the biggest difference, since that is steady income I can depend on even during slow periods or illness. I also rely on your comments, reblogs, feedback, and suggestions!

i hope this blog will brighten your day! my goal is to make you laugh while helping you discover things you don’t know, about the world and possibly yourself. i hope you will enjoy your time here, and learn more facts than you could ever possibly want to know about blue whales!

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

I suffer from chronic migraines.

For me, a good few of my migraines are just caused by my inability to take proper care of myself, but a lot of them have no cause at all. They just happen.

I get these things I call "migraine stings." they're a sharp pain exactly like how I experience migraines minus the extra symptoms such as nausea that last a few seconds to a minute. They're how I can tell when a migraine is coming sometimes. If it's because I'm not caring for myself properly, I get these. If there's no cause there's usually no migraine stings it just starts and takes me off guard like hell.

Migraine stings are usually my body's way of warning me that I'm pushing myself too far or I've somehow let a personal necessity slip my mind. Tho sometimes it's just my brain deciding "actually? The lights in your science classroom are too bright for my liking and I'm going to cause you suffering for that." Do I always heed these warnings and take the time to figure out what's wrong? No. But I do do it more than not at the least.

I don't know if anyone else experiences migraine stings, neither my mom nor my grandma do, but I honestly doubt the probability that I'm the only human on this planet who deals with that.

I can't speak for everyone, but I know a lot of us chronic suffering sufferers have Bad Days™

They're different for everyone, but for me, it's on off migraine stings at random intervals for seemingly no reason, waves of nausea, and nonstop light sensitivity that gradually worsens throughout the day. It's shitty but if I believed in a god I'd be thanking them daily for the fact that my bad days are not nearly as bad as some people's. But since I don't, I'll tell you that that's an unhealthy way of viewing one's pain. Do not ever invalidate your pain because someone else's pain is worse.

But ANYWAY. This post is getting out of my hands. The point is, I suffer from chronic pain, specifically in the form of chronic migraines. Not everyone who deals with chronic migraines experiences them the way I do. But I find it important to share my experiences. That's where I'll stop for now. Please, for the love of gaud don't forget to take care of yourself today, k?

[muffinrecord]

Is it stupid to say I see you as almost the "Gaud" of meguca blogs?

It’s not stupid but it does put me on a pedestal I do not deserve!!! There are a ton of excellent MagiReco/PMMM blogs that are better than me!! I’m just really loud and make tons of posts to spam the tag with!!!

I am a dumb loud person with bad takes but a big megaphone and the hyperfocus to never compromise on talking about what is REALLY important in life: magical girl jpgs.

Like here is a list of really good magireco blogs:

@dendylabyrinth with their their interesting perspectives, thoughts, and headcanons that they bring to the table

@cluelessmahou who has great and funny posts and often makes me laugh

@snaamagica who has a nice catalogue of reblogged content along with excellent commentary interspersed between. I still love the post she made about Iroha being an interesting character

@doppel-drop-distance who is a good friend and a good writer who brings an earnest energy to everything that makes me excited to see what she makes

@saltylords who has really neat perspective posts. I like seeing their updates

@magical-girl-hell who is a breath of positive fresh air and has interesting thoughts on the series

@dragonlapis who always has something interesting in the tag and I adore her creativity

@silvermoon424 who is another force of positivity and has a great blog for sailor moon content too. 

@sayaka-mikis-fire-extinguisher who is hilarious and amazing and posts I look forward to

@ecasts-art who has made some of the best Oriko content on the internet

@a-magical-artist who draws incredible fanart and did all of those free requests for folks when the NA servers shut down. Massive respect.

@magical-girl-polaris who has really cool art that it super cool (I love their Kyoko protecting Mami piece) and also has the best star in their username

@agstudio9 / @automatic-purification-system who has some INCREDIBLE artwork, godo posts, and is a very supportive person in general

@leafbladie Who helped me with recording so many quote videos, MSS videos for girls I didn’t have, and gave me so much advice when I first started to write the memoria blog. He led the Ashley Taylor fanzine and seeing all that creativity, art, writing... it was a good sendoff that may have made me cry. 

@thefairywithdrawings who is an excellent person with the BEST outfit edits (seriously her Ryo edit is probably my favorite magical girl design ever, not just for magireco but just in general)

@garr9988 who asks really good questions, knows a ton about lore and has good opinions.

Oh man there are way more and I promise that if I left you off here it’s not because I dislike you or forgot you, this is just getting a bit long. Also, there are a ton of quiet blogs who don’t post in the tag but will INSTANTLY LIKE stuff that’s posted. Even if you guys don’t leave replies or reblog stuff, the fact that you interact with it at all as a way of saying “I see this and appreciate you” makes you the backbone of this community. 

But yeah, one thing I like about this fandom is that I’ve made so many good friends here. Opening the tag feels like a group chat because this community is so small. I’m not the big dude of this community, like I said I just talk A LOT.

Also I want to reiterate that if you post a lot and I didn’t mention you, I’m sorry, It’s not a slight against you I promise I just can’t spend the next seven hours writing usernames and summarizing stuff ;_;

[haematicmagic]

Raw, powerful and cursed quotes

So as someone who recently migrated from a Pinterest lurker of 3 years, reading every tumblr screenshot i could find, i have gathered quite a selection of cursed or raw quotes from the most classic tumblr posts and whatever the hell Gaud is doing. Some of these aren’t tumblr, but classic literature or musical quotes or poems. As i didn’t write them down, i cant give sources for every single one, but i can give them on request if you’re interested. Feel free to add more.

• „I‘ll do what I want“

„Then perish“

OR

„then become the dirt I walk on“

• „violence for violence is the rule of beasts“

• „to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all“

• „There are places we have never seen before: Soem have never seen the Ocean, have never laid eyes on marrakesh. The other world is just a place we haven’t visisted before and we’re gonna explore it together“

• “Auge um Auge und die Welt wird blind”

(German, translated to mean: An eye for an eye and the world goes blind)

• „You kneel before my throne, unaware that it was made of lies“

• “You’re rearranging deck chairs on the titanic my friend”

• “Bold of you to assume I (will meet a mortal end, have ambitions)”

• „I beg to differ“

„Then beg"

• „One day, you will be face to face with your gods and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled

• „the skin of the earth is littered with the ruins of empires that thought themselves immortal“

• „my Ancestors are smiling down on me. Can you say the same?“

• „Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.“

• „god should have made girls lethal when he made monsters of men“

• „Decay exsists as a distant form of life“

• „Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything that your soul can comprehend. You cannot cure me in any way that matters.“

• „Draw a monster. Why is it a Monster?“

• „A year ago you didn’t know today“

• „She is a mystic in the sense that she is still mystified by things“

• „these hands have built bridges, they will not build walls“

• „the anger in your heart warms you now but will leave you cold in your grave“

• „The Man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one“

• „Thats a funny trick to play on a god“

• „We can do any sins we want. There are no gods here to observe them“

• „we deserve a soft epilogue“

• „Starved dogs eat their masters.“

• „I am a monument to all your sins.“

• „Face your mortality, choose your requiem.“

• „I do not love the sword for its sharpness or the arrow for its swiftness nor the warrior for his glory. I can only love that which they defend“

• „Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars you have won“

• „Do you think God, too, stays in heaven in fear of what he has created?“

• „Good men need no rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many“

• „Nothing is set in stone, but everything is set in a dirt road. If you roll your waggon along that path too much, it‘ll soon be the only path you can take without struggling“

•„You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.“

„You seem a decent fellow. I hate to be killed by you.“

•„We are men of actions. Lies do not become us.“

•„The watch is ticking and I‘m no clockmaker“

•„Only when Lions have Historians will Hunters cease to be heroes“

•„If you consider a woman less pure after you touched her, you should take a look at your hands“

•„the fire can’t touch me, for I have have burned one too many times. And the sea can’t harm me, for I have been drowning all my life. But you, you could rip my heart open, darling, for I have never known love before.“

• „take no shit, do no harm“

• “Be a nuisance where it counts, Do your part to inform and stimulate the public to join your action. Be depressed, discouraged, and disappointed at failure and the disheartening effects of ignorance, greed, corruption, and bad politics—but never give up.”

• „Before you tell a tale of revenge, dig two graves

• „First we shape our tools, then our tools shape us.“

• „The future is what you make of it. Just know that your supplies are limited.“

• „bury me shallow, I‘ll be back"

• „This is Hell territory and I am impudent to no gods“

• „Sticks and Stones may build a throne but you‘ll be up there all alone“

• „I am deliberately taking this personally“

• „You’re still dodging my questions“

„you’re just missing“

• „Rome wasnt build in one day.

But it was burned one“

or

„But they layed bricks every hour“

• „You’re not as simple as they wanted you to be.“

• „Get off the ground, kid, spit your blood. Go down a savage, go down fighting.“

• „Educated Criminals work within the law“

• „Everyone is guilty of the good they did not to“

• „Even the ground wouldnt want you to rot in it“

• „War is old men talking and young men dying.“

• „I‘ll take care of you.

It‘s rotten work.

Not to me. Not if its you.“

• „What are you, before a human ready to fight“

• „Walls have ears

Doors have eyes

Trees have voices

beasts tell lies

Beware the rain

Beware the snow

Beware the man

you think you know“

• „This is who we are: A product of war.“

• „once a man, now deemed a fool“

• „What was that?

Probably God, looking down on his children and regretting that there even was a sixth day.“

• „We all just kill time until the killing time“

• „people will never bleed enough to meet your vision of justice“

• „There are three things all wise men fear: The sea in storm, a moonless night and the anger of a gentle man.“

• „Let me die first or I will die twice“

• „Looks like you dropped something.

What?

Your standards. Hi, I‘m XY“

• „In whatever matter it comes to be, love is never wrong, especially not between one that has so much of it to give and one so desperately in need of it.“

• „Heavy is the Crown and light as a feather the banner of rebellion"

• „I am not a vessel for your good intentions“

• „Every breath i take without your permission raises my self esteem“

• „Your boos mean nothing, I‘ve seen what makes you cheer“

• „In a rich man’s house there is no place to spit but his face.“

• „You could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature.“

• “I would rather die standing than live kneeling”

• “Life is all about pain and by god I will be it’s conduit.”

• “Ring the bells you still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That is how the light gets in”

• “Here’s a penny for your thoughts and a quarter to not tell me them.”

• “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame”

• “To greed, all nature is insufficient”

• “We are rarely proud when we are alone”

• “I will love you like misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch as everything goes wrong”

• “You say I killed you - haunt me, then.”

• “But who are you, to consider yourself an enemy of humanity? Who are you, to define yourself as something else but them?”

[englishknightsky]

I posted 8,386 times in 2021

251 posts created (3%)

8135 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 32.4 posts.

I added 197 tags in 2021

#south park - 56 posts

#asks - 25 posts

#my art - 21 posts

#tweek tweak - 21 posts

#sp creek - 20 posts

#craig tucker - 17 posts

#kenny mccormick - 10 posts

#pip pirrup - 9 posts

#selfie - 9 posts

#eric cartman - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i blocked gaud bc their posts were just so unfunny. not even in an offensive way. just so ridiculously lame that i couldn't stand it anymore

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

r2 to 3po after the memory wipe in the prequel trilogy

142 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 03:59:57 GMT

#4

5 year old Craig in a home movie meeting newborn Tricia: Why can't I be an only child again?

10 year old Craig watching the video : Good point, why can't I be an only child again?

Stan: I was at the park and a dog came up to me and put his head on my knee. I was really excited until his owner told me he was a support dog who could sense depression.

Clyde: If I was sick could I do THIS?

Token:... Are you gonna do something?

Clyde: Am I not doing cartwheels?

Token: No, no you are not.

Craig: I started dating a cheerleader.

Clyde:... What.

Craig: They're all practising in the gym right now. Wanna see them?

The gang follow him to the gym.

Tweek in a cheerleader uniform: Hi babe!

Craig: Told you I was dating a cheerleader.

Clyde: I almost had a heart attack.

Token: I hate you, Craig.

Wendy: Gregory, I'm in love with you!

Gregory: Oh Wendy, I'm so sorry to tell you that I'm a flaming homosexual.

Christophe: Gregory, you beetch! Get your big ass over 'ere so I can slap it!

Gregory: Coming!

Wendy:...

Stan: Wow, you didn't know they were gay, Wendy?

Nurse: Now I'm gonna take some blood for a sample.

Tweek: Okay.

Nurse:...

Tweek:...

Nurse:...

Tweek: Yeah it's always coffee at first but there's some blood in there somewhere.

Liane: Don't worry so much, Sharon. All kids get nicknames at school. Eric's is 'One inch wonder', whatever that means.

Token: Next bachelor is Kenny McCormick! Kenny has no job, no education, and a credit score of negative sixteen!

Kenny: This is cool, I hardly ever take the bus to school.

Stan: You hardly ever GO to school, dillhole!

Kenny: Oh yeah, I think you might be right.

Kenny: I took a job at the doctor's office because they give me a discount and I am packed with diseases.

Cartman's mic suddenly cuts out as he's screaming.

Craig: I can't tell if he rage quit or ate his mic.

Stan: I'm a triple threat: I eat like shit, I feel like shit, and I look like shit.

Tweek: Dad, why do you tell me so many pointless stories?

Richard: I like stories.

Garrison walking around the room lightly patting every student's head: You're overly emotional, you're gonna grow up real ugly, you have severe daddy issues...

Craig: Hey babe, can I use the latte art printer?

Tweek: Okay, but only if you don't print that meme aga-

Craig: Haha, nice cock!

Craig: Dad! Stripe just had babies!

Thomas: Dammit, Craig, I thought you being gay meant I didn't have to worry about any accidental pregnancies!

Kyle: Ike's insults are lame, he's called me a butthead four times already.

Sheila: Kyle, he's four. What do you expect?

Kyle: I just wish he was a little more dynamic!

152 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 01:26:47 GMT

#3

Gerald: Your mother and I haven't been getting along recently.

Kyle: Uh, what's up?

Gerald: Sexual stuff.

Ike: Oh my god!

Kyle: Dad!

Craig: I worked out that Tweek and I have been together for 61,320 hours.

Tweek: Aw, that's sweet.

Craig: But we've only been intimate for-

Tweek: Please don't work that one out.

Security Guard: Excuse me, sir. Is this overweight man bothering you?

Cartman: Ey!

Kyle: Yeah, but he's my husband. I signed up for this.

Principal Victoria: For this performance we have Tweek Tweak on piano, Token Black on bass, and with a flute up his nose... Kenny McCormick.

Thomas: Is it an ape?

Craig: What?

Thomas: Your tattoo. Is it an ape?

Craig: Why would I get a tattoo of an ape?

Thomas: To remind you of where you came from.

Tweek: Not a bad reason, actually.

Sheila: Your dad sneezed all over a baby today!

Kyle: That's nice. Good morning to you, too.

Butters: Pip was religious, right? He'd want a nice, wholesome, Catholic funeral.

Tweek: It says in his will he wants a Satanic funeral.

Craig: There's something really important I want to ask you... hang on, let me find the card.

Tweek: What card?

Craig: I wrote down everything I wanted to say so I wouldn't forget it.

Tweek: Is this the card?

Craig: What does it say?

Tweek: "Tweek, from the moment I met you I never wanted to be with anyone else. I have nothing to offer except all of my love. Will you marry me?" Oh my god, Craig!

Craig: That's the card. Give it here.

Stan: My mom's fucking nuts. I think she went off her post partum meds.

Kyle: You're seventeen, she still takes them?

Stan: Yeah, that's how long she's been depressed about me.

Craig: Tweek's dad caught us fucking and smashed the bedside lamp over my head.

Cartman: Hello?

Craig: Is your refrigerator running?

Cartman: Uh... yeah. Why?

Craig & Tweek: You're gay!

Craig: Your family is shit. You should get a new one.

Tweek: Trust me, I would if I could.

Craig: You can, we can start a family.

Stan: Have you ever had the dream where you die and go to Heaven?

Cartman: Yeah, but I always go the other way.

Clyde: Hey Craig, still mad you got your license revoked?

Craig: Yep.

Token: Wanna come with us to the zoo?

Craig: Nah, Tweek drives like an old lady.

Tweek: At least I have a license.

Stan: Small creatures are way more vicious 'cause there's less room to contain their anger.

Cartman: That is such bullshit. Give me one good example.

Kyle: Wasps.

Kenny: Spiders.

Butters: Terriers.

Craig: Tweek.

Kenny: I've fallen asleep not doing it and woken up doing it!

Stan: That's why they won't put him to sleep at the dentist anymore.

Bebe: You're coming to my house tonight, and we're gonna 'study'.

Clyde: But me and the guys were gonna go out!

Bebe: My parents won't be home so they won't bother us while we're... 'studying'.

Clyde: Ugh fine. But I'll complain all the time!

Craig: God you're dumb.

Clyde: Guess that's why I have to study!

Stan: Here Sparky, come get the cheese slice!

Kenny: Ooh cheese!

Stan: Kenny no! There's a worm pill in that!

Stan: Hey Heidi.

Heidi: Hey, aren't you the guy who threw up in my tuba last music lesson?

Stan: Actually I believe it's the school's tuba.

Cartman: I'm still mad at that buffet for kicking me out last time!

Kyle: It was for your own good, you were having heart palpitations!

Cartman: But I didn't eat all I could eat!

Tweek: Just requested next Saturday off and got denied. My boss is my father and next Saturday is my birthday.

Craig: Tweek, dating you is amazing. I haven't been this happy since... Huh, I guess I've never been happy before.

201 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 18:32:58 GMT

#2

Random South Park Headcanons

- Kyle took Cartman to see Jojo Rabbit and Cartman started crying before Kyle.

- Craig names all of his guinea pigs Stripe because when he was younger he walked in on his mom cleaning out Stripe #1's cage and she had to very awkwardly explain 1. death in general 2. that she accidentally stood on Stripe and 3. that she was going to replace Stripe with an identical guinea pig and hope Craig wouldn't notice, Craig offered to call the new guinea pig Stripe anyway, so Laura wouldn't technically be lying to him

- Clyde kisses his homies goodnight and tells them he loves them. Sometimes he goes out of his way to assert his heterosexuality while also loving his homies, but the guys don't mind.

- Butters is the youngest in class and the rest of the class treat him like their little brother. Nobody can pick on him but them.

- Tweek was a teen pregnancy and sickly methbaby and feels a lot of shame about it, even though nobody but Craig knows. The Tweaks don't have any baby pictures of him to keep up the facade of a normal family. Craig tries his best to forget the 'Crack Baby Athletics Association' and feels really, really guilty.

- Timmy lets just about anyone sit in his lap and ride around with him, except for Cartman. Similarly, Jimmy will let his close friends play with his crutches as long as they're careful with them. He has spares, just in case Clyde accidentally flings one through a window, but he keeps that a secret.

- Damien and Pip spend a lot of time together at the cinema, even after Pip dies. They like to sit right at the back and eat popcorn they didn't pay for in seats they also didn't pay for.

- Kenny knows what the delicious flavour packet in beef jerky tastes like, but refuses to tell anyone.

- Cartman absolutely hates Neo-Nazis and Holocaust Deniers.

- Stan's really good at poetry and songwriting, sometimes his metaphors go over his friends' heads, but the Goth Kids always understand his intentions.

- For the kids' senior prank they decided to burn down the school, it was incredibly well planned out and executed, and nobody got hurt or arrested. People called it a freak accident and the kids pretended to be sad that their "actual" prank was destroyed in the fire. They also set off a number of smaller group pranks during the week up to the main event, like releasing three calves into the hallways labelled #1, #2, and #4.

- Mr. Mackey can pretend all he wants that the kids were nothing but trouble and he's glad they're gone, but he cries the hardest during their graduation.

- Damien's phone number is 666-6666-666, it rings at all hours of the day and it drives him crazy. He threatens most people who call him with curses, but never actually curses anyone because he's lazy.

- Damien can also be summoned by saying his name in a mirror three times, but thankfully nobody's figured that one out yet.

- Tweek has a reputation for being unreliable but he's the only person everyone trusts with carrying spare meds. He keeps a big medkit on hand at all times that's full of his friend's medications.

- Stan keeps sneaking stray animals into his bedroom. All cats go to Cartman and all mice and rats go to Kenny.

- Kenny has been officially banned from the weekly sex ed classes, he had to sign a contract to never go near the classroom or share his experiences again. Several people are in therapy after listening to his stories.

- Ike kept the Newfoundland he rode in Splatty Tomato, his name is Tiny and he only behaves for Ike.

- Craig, Clyde, Token, Jimmy and Tweek have completed all the Just Dance games as a team.

- Damien and Pip are the source of all ouija board activity in South Park. Other spirits and ghosts and angels and demons are around, it's just that Damien loves playing with the boards.

- Tweek's signed his name as Tweek Tucker multiple times. Craig hasn't mixed up his surname, but he has been caught doodling hearts with 'C + T' in them in the margins of his books.

- Scott and Jimmy are gym bros. Jimmy appreciates that Scott finds every joke he tells funny, even if he's already heard it.

- Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave run the yearly pride festival with the help of Craig, Tweek, and their highschool LGBT club.

- Stripe recognises his daddies by scent, Craig smells like cheetos and Tweek smells like coffee.

259 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 20:39:01 GMT

#1

there's apparently a chinese bootleg comic of the original star wars that gets so many things both right and wrong, but also features a kiss between r2 and 3po, so now it's canon to me

827 notes • Posted 2021-01-30 16:47:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[uvindi]

I'm not trying to really sway your opinion either way, but I had an anon like this, and I ended up making a post about it. Afterwards Gaud contacted me about it and told me it was part of an on-going smear campaign against them, and that it had been going on for years, and asked to me either change the tag or delete the post. I know that with the right skills, its easy to fake/manipulate and otherwise change screenshotted posts, so I don't know what I fully believe either but- (1/2)

thank you for your second opinion felony this was really helpful, I honestly love their posts and they genuinely seem like a good person? I don't know, I think I'm just going to not have an opinion on this

[tcheschirewrites]

Happy New Year!

Part of me wanted to do a Year In Review post, like I’ve seen a few other creators do, but instead of talking about myself (which I do for the entire rest of the year anyway lmao), I’m gonna do a reclist instead, of the best fics I’ve read this year. A lot of it is BNHA, because that’s been my main fandom for 2020, but I did spend a decent amount of time in other spaces. If you see a **, that means there’s boning at some point – if the fic is in bold, then there’s a lot of boning. I @ed their Tumblr if I knew it off the top of my head, but I may have missed some.

BNHA

Don't Yuck Her Yum by rumblefish ( @rumbllefish) (League of Villains Gen)

Complete – A quick disclaimer, pia is a mutual and a friend. That being said, this is such a cute little snapshot into the LOV with everyone’s favorite Found Family trope. Now, I’ll admit to being additionally biased because pia gave me that sweet sweet Dadpress food, but her Spinner is also on point. Short and sweet.

the Issue of the Jeanist Corpse (the Jorpse) by Princeliest (Hawks & Jeanist Gen)

Complete – Witty and hilarious, a deleted scene when Hawks went to visit Best Jeanist before War Arc. I love how antsy Hawks is, and how fussy Jeanist. Also, I’m a sucker for putting a j at the beginning of everything for Jeaninst.

Queer Eye: We're In Japan! And There Are Pro Heroes Everywhere!! by night_of_the_living_trashcan (Background Erasermic Family)

Complete – I love a good Queer Eye fic, and this one is so spot on. The Fab Five couldn’t get a better candidate than Aizawa (well, almost; see below). And I’m a sucker for Erasermic family.

 **Yesterday's Gods by Karzai (All Might/Reader)

WIP - Reader character is an ex-military doctor who comes to work at UA. If you’re a fan of very well-developed backstories, and reader characters that are their own people, then this is the fic for you. This fic gives me huge Newsroom vibes - we’ve got a past romance, and the tension after years apart. We get present day when they are older and more jaded, and we get the backstory of the reader character and All Might when they were young and spry.

**surrender (whenever you're ready) by OfMermaids ( @ofmermaidstories) (Bakugou/Reader)

WIP - Bakugou accidentally destroys a florist’s shop. Bar none the best Bakugou fic out there - his characterization is so on point. He is grouchy but so vulnerable, he’s coarse and soft and insecure and such a perfectionist. The relationship with the reader character develops very naturally, and the chapters are long. Bonus, we get some bangin’ Kiri as well.

 **if i could keep cool by andypantsx3 ( @andypantsx3) (Todoroki/Reader)

Complete – I’m in love with the premise of the fic: a hired cleaner gets kidnapped due to a misunderstanding of the romantic variety. Andie’s Todo is well written, and the pacing of the story is nice and tight. An easy read.

 **Subject: RAPTOR by Tainted_Wine ( @tainted-wine)(Hawks/Reader)

Complete – The villains have turned Hawks into a Nomu, and reader works collecting semen for the facility for breeding purposes. Bigtime monster-fucking, but it’s very poignant and well-done. Very long, but well worth the time.

 **My Hero by HeroAssociation(Aizawa/Reader)

WIP – Reader character is a milf whose son enters a contest to meet his favorite hero and wins. The author’s Aizawa is really good, and the scenes with the reader’s son are very realistic for maternal love. And, I cannot emphasize this enough, reader character is a milf. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t updated in a while, but the premise is so cute I can’t not include it.

 suffer the signs by advantagetexas(Aizawa/Reader)

Complete – Baby’s first hanahaki. Honestly a very cute little hanahaki – no angst or sads, just two idiots in love. A nice quick read.

 But they're soft... by coffee_dessert (Aizawa/Reader)   

Complete – Aizawa gets turned into a cat by a villain’s quirk, and the reader character takes care of him until it wears off. I’ve heard this premise is popular? But I haven’t seen too too many, and this one is very well executed. Aizawa’s characterization is solid, and the pacing is very good. A very sweet read.

**no grave to hold my body down by Hawnks (supermintfluff) ( @hawnks)(Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Pro Hero Shinsou saves the reader character, and they keep running into each other. This one is a good character study on adult Shinsou, and Hawnks’ writing is always very clean and lovely. I recommend going through their entire selection.

Love Like You by Queen_Kai (Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Color Soulmate AU with a villain reader. Very cute, and I adore Shinsou’s characterization in this one. I honestly wish there was more, but it stands on its own very well.

Naruto

**Maid with Benefits by awolangel (Akatsuki/Reader)

WIP – Reader is hired to be a live-in maid to the Akatsuki, and also have lots of sex. This fic is hilarious, and so well characterized. The pacing is actually really good, as well as the development of all of the relationships. There are some characters that get more attention than others, but we do get a nice spread. Very fun escapism fic.

Moonshine by Victopteryx ( @ancharan) (HashiMada)

Complete – Prohibition Era Bootlegging AU. Author’s handle on both Madara and Hashirama is incredible (and they draw their own fanart, and it’s also incredible). A whole-ass meal.

Tobirama Kicks Some Sense Into Konoha by allseer15 (Tobirama&Naruto Gen) 

Complete – Tobirama gets sent back in time due to an accidental jutsu, and is horrified at the way Konoha is run, and promptly Rampages over it. Wonderful catharsis for anyone who wondered why it was okay for a rich-ass old man to just leave an infant a welfare check and a shitty apartment and dip out on his development even though he has the equivalent of a nuclear warhead in his upper intestine.

Misc

**Clouds by moriamithril (Star Wars Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Reader)

Complete – Reader character is a handler/assistant type figure to Cassian over a series of missions. We get a lot of emotions in this one – we get the tenderness of caring for someone who is ill, we get devotion, we get yearning, we get delicious jealousy. Well written and lovely.

Fresh Coat by scrapmetal (The Mandalorian, Boba & Din Gen)

Complete – Fantastic Boba and Din, the Mando culture representation we deserve. I’m love.

**A Far Greater Sin (Reader version) by Yavannie (The Mandalorian, Din Djarin/Reader)

Complete – Reader is a healer, and builds a relationship with Mando over the course of a couple decades. Great pacing, great RC development, and the author’s Mando is quite good. The premise/setting gives me wicked fantasy vibes, even though it’s obviously In Space, but that’s definitely a draw.

who's gonna save us now (when the ashes hit the ground) by chancellor_valdez (Ready or Not, Grace/Daniel)

Complete – My favorite of the “Grace and Daniel Survive Together” subgenere, this one is very raw with its emotions. There’s a lot of hurt, and there’s a lot of self-harming coping mechanisms. Recovery is ugly, and the author did a very good job showing us that. And their ending was lovely.

not your garden variety demon lord by rizahawkaye (Inuyasha, SanSessh)

Complete – Sango takes care of Rin sometimes, and gets confused when Sesshoumaru brings her gifts. The author’s Sessh is so good, and it’s a great exploration of a relationship we don’t see much of.

Mine Enemy by Ayrith (Inuyasha, InuSan)

Complete – I love this fic, okay. Fantastic character study in Sango and a lot of the rougher parts of her that canon shied away from, and the author’s Inuyasha characterization is fucking great. Just go read this, yes.

Frozen Plus One by Meowzy (Frozen, HansAnna)

WIP – Troll AU, ie the trolls cursed Hans and that’s why he is That Way. Look, this author has done such a good job with all of the characters. Their voices are very distinct, and it’s not a reach at all to see how it could have gone differently. And we get some sweet HansAnnaKris action, and it is just as we deserve. Honestly, this fic is so well written, it deserves the world.

Knives In by anomalation (Knives Out, Marta/Ransom)

Complete – My favorite of the Pen Pals subgenre, this one is a fantastic slow burn. Ransom is really forced to face himself, and Marta is such a babe. Meg makes a few appearances, and her confusion over her place in the world is really well done. A great enemies-to-lovers.

It's Not Anxiety, It's a Parasite by squadrickchestopher (Venom, Queer Eye)

Complete – Look, I’ve mentioned before, but I love a good Queer Eye fic. Eddie gets what he deserves, and the symbiote couldn’t be more happy. So funny and clever.

You Find Yourself in a Maze by FloaromaMeadow ( @zombiekaiba) (S0 Atem Gen)

Complete – Very short and very poignant, the style is modeled after text-based command games. It fits super well with the Season 0 aesthetic, and there’s so much punch in each command.   

Gaud's Grinch x Tony Fix-it Fic by gaudy_writes ( @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses)

WIP – Look, I know, all right. Just read it.

[shoeshineyboy]

What are the top 10 best and worst moments of the past 3 years on tumblr?

3 years ago was... 2018?? idk if you mean site-wide or generally, but I will do my best

BEST

cringe, but meeting my pals on this site. met some proper good ones on here. love them

Kristoph-fucking discourse that was HILARIOUS

Johny do do do do do do do

Apollo Justice donkey kong discourse

perfectly sfw posts getting flagged by shitty AI during the tit ban

that SILLY LARRY AND THE FLOATING PUSSY post

getting blocked by that person who hates narumitsu despite never having interacted with them

the first 5 minutes of the supernatural super hell jokes

kung pow penis

that one really LONG ace attorney post arguing about swords

WORST

the fact that you people made me realise that minecraft youtube was a real thing and not just something made up as a joke

everything to do with supernatural AFTER the first 5 minutes of the super hell thing

that bizarre time in the ace attorney fandom where that one bloke just went absolutely off the shits and started talking shit about a certain group of fans??? that was a Time.

the fact that I actually paid $5 for a pillowfort login

getting vagued by a Certain Popular AA Fan two weeks after I started posting ace attorney content

the overall 2018/19 aarp experience. a lot of you were cool but a LOT of people were not

the one dude who DM'd me after I posted a selfie and asked if he could jack off to it

THIS ONE FUCKING GUY who got pissed at me for changing my blog theme, insisted on using my birthname whenever he spoke to me, and got INSANELY upset whenever I didn't reply instantly to his texts

gaud

the initial shock of finding the ace attorney mpreg blog (before I used it for joke fodder)

[libidomechanica]

The fragrant, bone-dry white from the conscience to pick upon the hill

The fragrant, bone-dry  white from the  conscience to pick upon 

the hill, and  my eyes, the summer  wormes to thy gyfts 

bene as brought good,  eke cherish powers invocation,  for you, your 

belles and evry thing  her this, folly, as  different fare, 

when otherwise  twenty posts  of that I loved out 

why he left her months  hath been other pleasant  Orange-tree; gentle 

warrant to  please you remain  with woe, for 

ought be, Dear Perilla,  I wish it how can  I came dazzling 

thing mass. to giue  my slightly pretty ring ivy,  two recite thou awake 

to these brought, is  no where tame pigeon  measure shadows dire. 

The enclasping  and dews of poison- flower of their imputed 

grave “before— so  deemed to run; Two women,  when she looked 

turn politicians and  Greece or walked aside like  others, girt in glowing 

hand, Trace a distant leper.  at night here. that sad  and of time to 

pick upon the  east, A cloute,” then Nature  murmurs in such stormie stowre. 

I said smile? And fruit this  And mount them. more  delight or daddie. vanish; 

Keep fresh my breast. Were not  lie in the eight  years leave met wi thee, and 

so laid the dying  and fire? Said  he, “Theyre right gauds; nay, image 

of thine own sad  name is a spectator,  and if he doth 

win” grace you might king off like  mine, each thy verge it sweet  Saint Charlotte Street, whose owne her 

months go to be  most full sad and  lineaments me this sovereigns 

heathy mountains, on  music, and happy warriors,  and all 

evenings have flower spread out  of mine. And Phœbus first  her walls, between.

[kathasworld]

Skip to content

Folklore expresses a culture – and translation builds the bridge between different cultures.

Kali of Kolkata – Chitreswari

november 7, 2018 by kathamukh

This story is based on history. The early 20th century author Jogendranath cites reference from Calcutta Review, volume III of 1845. I had to rewrite while presenting it for English-speaking readers of 21st century.

I was walking through Chitpur Road. Renamed as Rabindra Sarani, it was given a chance to associate itself with the Nobel-laureate Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore. True, that the palatial ancestral home of Tagores is located by this road; but while renaming, did anyone ask the road whether it wanted to forget its colonial past or even the notorious Kali temple located here? – A sudden though crept in my mind. If not, why commoners in the locality still love to call this Chitpur Road, why do we still see nameplates before many old buildings here displaying the address as Chitpore Road? Local belief says that long before the road was made for motorized vehicles it derived its own name from the terrifying Chitreswari – form of goddess Kali, who once offered boon to devotees in exchange of human blood.

This is one road of much significance in old Kolkata. This crowded road was constructed later for trams and other vehicles by the British ruler, at a time when they developed Calcutta as a city to be suitable as the capital of India. India became one of their prestigious colonies from the very beginning of their coming here.

That day while walking, I heard the road telling me something whispering:

-“Do you know, I did not always look like this?”

-“You mean you looked different before?

-“Yes.”

-“How did you look previously then?”

-“That is your task to find out.”

The road went silent making me speechless. Only the vehicles kept on moving on it making noise as usual.

I knew what Chitpur Road told me was true. Probably it was trying to encourage me to tell the story of its past.

Long before the Battle of Plassey, the Dutch, Portuguese and British were engaged in trading in Eastern part of India. Current West Bengal became the centre of their activities. They conducted mainly import and export business from the business houses – locally known as Kuthi which they had built in cities and towns. The country was being ruled by Islamic rulers – Mughals were still in control from their throne in Delhi, though their power started decreasing and influence shrinking. The Nawabi throne in Subeh Bengal was seeing disputes – Aliwardi Khan became the ruler defeating the competitor Sarafraj. Anarchy overtook law and order in this area.

During that chaotic period, none could imagine Kolkata to emerge as an enormous city like today’s. Only three small villages, Sutanuti, Kolikata and Govindapur were human-habitats surrounded by forests and canals. Near Chitpur canal, one route starting from the bank of river Bhagirathi connected Sutanuti, Burrabazar, Kolikata, Govindapur and Chowringhee through its serpentine course before ending near the temple of Kalighat at the bank of Adiganga, an older course of Ganga. British settlers named it Pilgrim Road. This had no resemblance to the asphalt road we know these days. If we could go back few hundred years from now, we would find dense forests adjacent to Chitpur. Large Sundari and other varieties of trees lined up besides cane forest, long bushes, narrow and wide canals, water bodies, marshland and bamboo forests surrounding that narrow muddy track. These bushes and forests were inhabited by dacoits and slaughterers and burglars. Also the famous Royal Bengal tigers, wild boars and different venomous and non-venomous snakes were others inhabitants of this region. Tidal waves also created knee-deep muddy patches on the track in this low lying area. Our story evolved in that area called Calcutta by the European traders.

Kolkata in 17th\ early18th century

There were two old Kali temples in northern and southern end of this area. The one in the north was for Chitreswari Devi in Chitpur inside the forest on the bank of Bhagirathi. Legends tell that the dacoit-leader Chitreshwar established this Goddess and named her after own name – announcing own notoriety reflected by the Goddesses’ look. His Goddess Chitreswari looked as ferocious as Vargbhima of Tamluk, Kali of Kalighat or Yashoreswari worshipped by Pratapaditya. People believed that Chitreswar gained his power from some secret Tantric practice. He set out for his looting action leading own team every time after performing a special Puja in this temple. The indispensable offering of the Puja was human sacrifice. After the sacrifice, he asked for the Goddess’s blessings placing red hibiscus and other flowers and leaves from wood-apple trees (considered sacred leaves) at the idol’s feet. That offering’s staying on her feet for some time was considered to be the sign of her consent to their future heinous activities.

This temple is now far from the river that changed its course in the meantime. The other Goddess in the south end of the area was Kali in Kalighat. Pilgrims used to walk down to Kalighat through the long pilgrim’s road forming a large group after visiting the Goddess Chitreswari. Walking alone almost ensured death by tigers, snakes or dacoits on the way. Dacoits used to throw the dead bodies of pilgrims in the dense forests or canals after looting them. Killing the victims was part of looting process those days.

Chitreswar terrorized not only these three villages, but all the localities on the banks of the river. Local people called this De facto ruler of this area Chite dakat.

He used to lead a large gang of almost 500 people including thyangare – looters who killed before looting, stick fighters, sword-fighters, archers etc. Numerous pirates operating in this area used to work under him. His dominance was extended over neighbouring districts like Howrah, Hoogly, Nadia and Bardwan which fell within 200 kilometer radius from Calcutta.

The gang included people from different communities from different regions – some from Bihar, some from Odisha, some were Gypsies and some Mohammedan. They were so well organised that catching hold of them became difficult for the administrators. Whenever they anticipated the threat of being caught, they fled to some remote village in Chandernagore, Hoogly or Burdwan – making all the efforts to catch them futile.

Chite dakat was extraordinarily desperate who seldom left his own forest fortress. He used to perform Puja in his own temple reciting own chants. None had an idea what exactly the chants were.

The defiant Chite looted the merchandise ships of East India Company between Kolkata and Murshidabad. Govindapur was, in fact famous as business hub of cotton and cotton yarn. Ships loaded with cotton yarn were frequently attacked by his gang. They invariably killed the sailors after looking the cargo. Another group controlled by him was into looting small cargo boats carrying salt from Hijli using same Modus operandi. River transport was the main option for carrying goods those days. Ships and boats en route between Kolkata, Murshidabad and Dhaka were being looted so often that not only common people, also traders had to be extremely cautious while travelling. The gang of Chite earned infamy for being even more ferocious than Portuguese pirates.

At some point of time, East India Company realized the necessity of finding a solution for this. Chite became irresistible also as burglar invading wealthy people’s mansions. The Brobdingnagian size of his gang and the inaccessibility of his abode in the dense forest was main obstacle for Company.

Chakrapani Datta, a commander of Bengal Nawab’s army had ancestral home in Chitpur. The Kayastha* nobleman was gallant fighter. He stayed either in Gaud or Murshidabad, capital of Bengal at that time. Once he came to visit Chitreswari temple along with his family members. The dacoits dared attacking this wealthy administrator’s group too. Chakrapani Datta, like all other influential aristocrat, travelled well-armed. Also the local villagers came forward to help his family. Chitreswar could not succeed. But the Nawab’s commander took an oath to demolish the dacoit gang after this incident. He began consulting with officials of Bengal Nawab and East India Company regarding this.

Chitpore Nabaratna Kali temple in 1798 – destroyed in natural disaster.

It was the new moon night of a Saturday – the auspicious day for traditional criminals. The dacoit’s team met in the temple’s courtyard.

The auspicious time for worshipers was in the middle of the night. The night was silent; not even the trees in forest dared to break the silence it seemed. Only the sound of some wild tigers roaring somewhere far from there was announcing the existence of life in the earth. The Puja was being performed by two priests – one Tantrik and the other – Chitreswar himself. They collected all necessary materials for this Tantric form of worship – only the human body was left. The ferocious long haired Goddess, standing on the corpse, wearing human skulls and holding sacrificial axe seemed to be waiting for human blood. Where to find the human offering? The Tantrik priest smeared in red sandal paste continued muttering prayers while counting the conch-shell garland.

A young handsome Brahmin was walking alone towards Kalighat at that time. He missed the group of pilgrims he was supposed to come along. The dacoits hunting for a man did not miss the chance of catching him. He was brought before the Idol. The wild idol in the violent ambiance frightened the young man. He requested them – “Don’t kill me, I am a Brahmin* – only child of my widowed mother.”

The barbarous gang-leader yelled at him – “The Goddess calls you. You have nothing to be scared!” Gang members dragged the man towards the sacrificial post. The Brahmin found no other way but to scream for help as loud as possible and forcibly making himself free. Fortunately, he was strong enough to push those brutal yet drunk dacoits. Calling for help he began running towards the Pilgrim’s road. The gang chased him, but failed to catch him.  Another large group of pilgrims was coming towards the temple following the same route. This group went to Kalighat at first and then started for Chitreswari temple. They lost their way in the dense forest and found the it again late in the evening. The prey was miraculously rescued.

Chitreswari’s puja was disrupted that night. Even the offering was missed. Did this frighten Chitreshwar?

Chitreswar was preparing for the Puja once again after the Brahmin youth ran away. Other gang members were guarding the place. All on a sudden, the combined force of the Nawab and Company attacked them. They surrounded the temple from all corners of the forest, making it impossible for the dacoits to flee. The leader too tried to, but could not succeed. He was convicted and sentenced to death to law of those days. People believed catching him was possible because he could not complete the ritual of human sacrifice that night. A properly completed Puja of the Goddess Chitreswari would keep him irresistible as ever.

The temple and Goddess were abandoned for sometime after Chitreswar was caught. People started worshipping her again at a later point of time. From the same clan emerged Raghu Dakat – another infamous dacoit who operated after a few decades.

 

(illustrations from Wikimedia commons)

* Kayastha – Hindu upper caste – was mainly engaged in administrative and legal jobs at royal courts in Pre-British Bengal.

*Here we see conflicting religious practices in the name of Hindu rituals. Brahmin, as a caste was on the one hand considered to be of higher quality and that’s why killing a person of Brahmin origin was considered to be a sin as per puranic tradition. People believed that a killer of Brahmin would be sent some treacherous hell after his death. On contrary, young Brahmin male, preferably a handsome one without any scar or defect in the body was considered to be best sacrificial offer to God according to Tantrik tradition.

 

 

© Kathakali Mukherjee, 2018

tagged folktales, hindu goddess, kali, legends, west bengal

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[reinelefey]

I do not understand.

I have had a tumblr blog since... Well, far too long. And in that time, I have watched people come and go. Hank Green, Cole Sprouse, others. I have seen the rise of blogs like Pizza, Pukicho, Gaud, sixpencee and others, and I have watched, each time, as people then try and destroy the people running these blogs.

I have seen people call neurodivergent people ableist, I have seen people call actually autistic people fakers, and I have seen even more people react to an older post to cancel one or more of these bloggers as a racist, bigot, homophobe, transphobe, or any other litany of words which will trigger the tumblr psyche into "cancellation mode." (That is not to say that some of these people HAVEN'T been that, but we must also acknowledge that humans grow, learn, and change throughout their lives. 10 years ago I would not have introduced my fiancé to my family, and now we are a lovely mixed melting pot who love one another, and the older members don't care about the race of our loved ones, only that they are loved.)

Now, I am seeing people attempting to call out, or cancel someone they referred to as a friend, or a confidant. I am seeing accusations that stun me to my core, with no real evidence to back them up besides the words of people that I have been following now for years.

Some of the people who have been "cancelled" have indeed been the things that people say. And we have seen evidence of that, and evidence of a inability to, or lack of want to, change or learn. I find it acceptable that these people are "cancelled," as they do not wish to become better people, and will stick to their guns of inequity.

Some people were not.

And now again, we are throwing around accusations of things that could cause literal, actual damage to someone's life as though they are beads, and we are all on Bourbon Street.

I feel I must ask: are these accusations founded in anything except virulent rumour? Are these accusations reliably provable? Have you personally experienced what you're accusing someone of?

I am a small blog. I do not care for viral reactions, I do not care if I lose or gain followers. I am here to observe and curate a place that interests me, and makes me happy. I am here to vent, I am here to have a place to go when I need the specific brand of Tumblr's interaction without questioning the oddness of the actual wording. I come here when I am stressed, and when what I need to post is too raw, or too neurodivergent to be understood on another platform. I find acceptance here. Many do.

But that acceptance often grows into a following of people who have no idea who you truly are, and a pseudo-relationship where you can say anything, and because the other person has no verifiable proof that you are lying, they may believe what you say, or vice versa.

It is inherently difficult to judge character and content of character based on an online biome where there is no outside interaction. So, instead of taking what is said with a grain of salt, and attempting to find the truth for oneself, we have come to rely on the "tumblr news network," where half is lies, a good quarter is exaggerated, and the rest has at least some nugget of truth.

We remind each other that we are not immune to propaganda, and yet when the boot comes for our throats, we get on our knees and swallow.

I cannot, in good conscience, allow myself to absorb the words I see here without fact-checking them first.

What I remember is a person who, when I was down, alone, feeling unloved, and feeling like I was only a burden to people, bought me a birthday cake and roses to celebrate surviving another year, when I doubted I would- When I had no one else to celebrate with, or even anyone who wanted to celebrate me. That moment even changed what my favourite flavour of cake was. I remember a person who wanted to ensure that people were safe in their company and were safe in their own company.

I remember an ear to listen, a voice to speak the truth I may not want to hear, but needed, and I remember most of all a friend when I needed one most.

I do not know where these accusations are spawning from, and I have not seen evidence to say they are true. What I do know is that you don't abandon people you care about and who care for you in a pique of childish rage. What I do know is that justice means innocent until PROVEN guilty. (Is this always done properly? No. Should it be? Yes.)

I will stay, and I will stand for what I believe is right. When you have proof of wrongdoing, when you have proof of abusive actions, when you have proof of your accusations, I will listen. I will judge for myself, and I will take the appropriate action then. Until then, you have nebulous statements about the character of a person I have known and/or interacted with for nigh on 3 years. I have anecdotal evidence that is highly contrary to what is being said, and I will lay it out, at a request. I only ask that you do the same.

[a-pretty-nerd]

Happy Halloween (Patrick Hockstetter x reader smut)

Request: "Could you do a Patrick x reader smut where they're at a Halloween party and reader wears a revealing costume and he takes her to a room and punishes her?" ~ Anonymous

Ooooh it feels good to be back! ❤

A/N: Requests are now officially OPEN! Please be patient with me and the rate at which I answer and finish these. I just got this one this mornings and I'm doing it because I have the time to. This will vary! ALSO! If you are interested in some original work, I will be posting it on my wattpad account! So please follow me on wattpad considering that Tumblr is slowly becoming more and more of an inhospitable place for writers like myself.

Warnings: sex! Dom/Sub! Etc! Etc...

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Oh Halloween! What a sweet, sweet holiday! A teenager's paradise filled with house parties, candy, drugs, alcohol and best of all...each other.

You and Patrick had been going steady for quiet some time now. You were his little pet, his prized toy, nobody fucked with you. It was nice to have a gaurd dog on your arm every once in a while.

This Halloween the boys decided to rade a house party, rather than torment little boys like last year. They picked you up at 8, and the boys whistled as you stepped out of your house. Patrick, was lost for words for a moment as his eyes washed over your form. You had managed to rope him into a couples costume, all you requested of him was to comb his hair back and wear white. He did one of those things. He watched as you came out in a bright red bikin, heels, a fake tail, and horned clips in your hair.

"What the fuck is this?" Patrick grunted as he closes the door behind you.

"We're an angel and devil!" You smiled. He watched you pull out a pair of cheap white feathered wings. You tossed it at him before walking past and to the car.

"You sure we can't trade?" Patrick sneered as you took your seats in the car.

"Aw c'mon, thats the fun part! Can't you let me be the naughty one for once? Just one night?" Patrick climbed in the back seat next to you and curled his arm over you to keep you close. No one was coming near you.

"One, night." He repeated as you drove off. When you got to the party the rest of the guys headed straight for the keg. Drunk teenagers were a plenty at this party and there was dancing and halloween themed games, mostly drinking games, but still. There were plenty of other girls dressed like you there but Patrick didn't seem to care. He didn't care that you fot right in because he didn't want you to. You were different, thats why he liked you in the first place.

He followed closley behind you as you greeted friends and acquaintances. He watched as other boys took notice of you. He watched them watch you, and it made him seath with hate and rage. At one point he came from behind and wrapped his arms around your shoulders to keep you close. Something he didn't often do. Patrick had no respect for personal space, but he was either on top of you entirely with aggressive pda, or he wasn't touching you at all. He'd let you touch or hold him but with Patrick it was either all or nothing. So this clear act of "mine" was strange.

He starred others down with his dark brooding gaze, his glassy grey eyes shot men down for miles. He made everyone, including your girlfriends as they watched him gaurd you.

"Hey," Patrick looked down at you, "you alright? You haven't spoken all night." You noted as you starred up into his dark gaze.

"I'm fine." He muttered.

"You don't look fine." Patrick leaned his head forward to hide in the crook of your neck.

"I'm going to tear you to shreds." He growled. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Did I do something wrong?" You knew what you did, and he knew it too. You loved to make Patrick jealous. You loved his protective reaction, you loved to play with him, tease him, toy with him. You brat.

"Don't you fucking-" he was cut off by the slow swaying of your hips. Your pressed your ass against him and swayed back and forth to the music that played. Patrick went silent. You took your shoulders in his hands and began gauding you through the unfamiliar house. One of them had to be an empty bedroom, or at the very least, a newly open one. At parties like this, these houses turned into miniature brothels.

But no rooms were available, fuck it, bathroom then. Patrick shoved you inside before slamming the door behind him and locking his. His chest already heaving, his heart racing. He pulled you close and planted a heated kiss to your lips.

"I'm going to fucking ruin you for this." He growled.

"For what?" You cooed. Patrick reached down and grabbed your ass.

"You little tease. You know exactly what you did, what you were doing to me out there." His fingernails dug into your flesh and dragged until he let go to feel you jiggle. "You are miiine." He hummed as he pulled down your bikini top to reveal your breasts. He gropped them harshly, it made you whimper. "You are mine and mine alone." He growled into your neck he began leaving hickies. "They don't deserve you. They don't GET to have you like I do." He smacked your ass before grabbing and playing with you as he spoke. "You crossed a boundry tonight baby girl," he cooed, "and now I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson." You melted in his arms.

He pressed you down and you kelt for him. He pulled down his pants as you waited patiently for him. His cock sprung free from his boxers as he threw them off. He held your head as he pressed his head go your lips and you took him in with ease. He did with you as he pleased, he slowly rocked his hips as he slid in and out of your mouth. He let drool fall from your mouth and his cock before he pushed himself all the way down your throat. You looked up at him, water streaming down your eyes. He looked down with a cruel grin.

He pulled you away before he picked you up and bent you over the counter table. There you saw yourself in the mirror, devil horns still in, makeup runny, your hair messy. Your breasts fell from your top and were planted firmly on the marble counter.

"Look at you. I'm the only one who can make you feel like that." He purred as his fingers reached into your bikini and pulled the fabric. It pressed against your clit and aching entrance. "You wanted this, didn't you?" Smack, "you knew what I'd do to do." Smack. "And you had me dress up like an angel for it too." Smack! You gave a soft cry. "You really are a little devil aren't you?" He stood directly behind you as he pulled at your bikini one more time. "Naughty, naughty girl." He took his other hand and gently tapped at your clit.

"Patrick, pleease." You begged him as you leaned back into him.

"Don't tell me what to do, little devil. The angels always win, don't they?" He chuckled before fiercely pulling your bottoms off and letting them drop to the floor. He played with you for a moment. He sunk a finger into you and it made you moan. He loved watching you as you arched your back and started to push back to get any sort of friction.

"Fuck..." you gasped as a second finger entered you and he began to move them. Back and forth, in and out. That could work. You tried to push back as he fingered you, trying to get a much needed release. But as you were getting close he pulled away. You whinned and moaned helplessly for him.

"Goddamn you're so fucking wet. It'd be a shame if I didn't use this tight pussy of yours." He placed his head at your entrance and you watched yourself in the mirror as he sunk into you. Fuck he felt so good, you almost came as soon as he entered you were so tense. Soon you started to shake as his hips smacked against your ass.

"Ooohh shit...oh fuck.." you muttered as he fucked you. You watched him in the mirror, his gaze was switching between your ass and your face in the mirror. An insane smile plastered on his face as he fucked you.

"Thats it, thats it, ohh fuck yeah." He was triumphant. His hands clung to your hips as he started to pick up the pace, soon you were cumming all over him. It was made him lean forward and nibble on your earlobe as he whispered in your ear. "You cum so fast for me, Y/N. Naughty girl. I'm gonna show you who you belong to. Look at you, you can't help yourself. I'm all you need, baby." He grunted before standing back up straight and continuing to fuck you. You bouncing underneath him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as you came once again.

Your last orgasm drove Patrick to the edge. He started to huff and puff as he got closer and closer. You could feel him shaking, losing his cool as his climax came. He leaned over and rested hid head on your shoulder as you watched him crumble. Patrick loved to press himself as far in as he could, and cum deep inside of you. You shuddered as you felt him pull out and felt everything seep out with him.