#luckily my medical card took it !

[dollopheadedmerlin]

I love my dentists and all but man ghe dentist is a lawless place, you go in, get minor surgery, get stitches, and then you get to walk home on your own and pick up some ibuprofen from CVS like all you got was a headache

[simlicious]

Personal update about my anxiety

Time for another personal update! At the moment, I'm not really in a creative mood and my projects are all resting.

I am working on more stuff in my real life, including cleaning/decluttering my apartment and working through an anxiety app which will hopefully get me to start exposure (though I shudder at the thought alone). The funny thing is, the app is for social anxiety, and I do have some social anxiety, but I think I mainly have agoraphobia (but there is no medical app available for this at the moment, so I took the next best thing). The app said: "Let's make a gradual steps plan, you first choose a very easy step, then one that is a little harder and harder, and so on until the hardest step comes at the top." And for the easiest step, it actually suggested one of my hardest steps: going into a store, buying something, and interacting with the cashier. Checkouts give me such anxiety. I once had a full-blown panic attack because I couldn't remember the PIN number for my credit or debit card. And I very rarely get panic attacks. Luckily, my brother was present and he was able to pay for me while I almost hyperventilated and tears were streaming down my face. Generally, I start sweating and get shaky hands which does not help while handling cards and remembering pin numbers. I get tunnel vision and cannot focus on anything that is going on around me. Sometimes, blood rushes in my ears so I have a hard time picking up whether someone is saying anything. Then, all items need to be put into bags at lightning speed, and I always fear that I am not fast enough and that everyone else in line is annoyed and angry with me and this makes me even more nervous. Putting things away with shaky hands is tough! So I send my boyfriend shopping for me or buy online most of the time. If I absolutely must, I can go shopping with one of my loved ones because I feel a tiny bit calmer and know I have a safety net with me. They can also help me put stuff in my bags. But alone? That's nightmare fuel for me. Same thing with using public transportation, I just can't do it. I also have a very hard time sitting in waiting rooms at the doctor's office, I get so tense and do not know what to do with myself. Oh, and I also have severe anxiety when I need to make a phone call 😫 But all that is seriously impacting my life, as you can imagine. And I want to change something.

Since the app is not helpful with suggestions for my gradually harder steps to take, I have to come up with my own, and it is harder than I thought! All the things I think about are really hard for me, I cannot think of less hard steps to take 😣 Even just going outside without a destination/going out by myself is also anxiety-inducing for me. I feel like I am watched all the time, I get tense and my thoughts start racing or going in circles. This also happens while I am in a store to shop for something. I get paralysed sometimes with decision fatigue and if someone else comes into the same aisle, I have the urge to run away instantly. I get so distracted that I need to spend way more time in a store than usual and this is of course not making me calmer. I am just super exhausted after going shopping! I am proud that I leave the house twice a week now to go for a walk with my best friend though. We have just established a second day of the week this year, and we still do not go twice every week, but pretty often, which is great. And I love to walk in nature, it calms me (if there aren't too many other people around). 😊 I am also making progress with my borked sleep cycle. I am a night owl 🦉, but being awake the whole night clashes a lot with my family's plans. I have tried for months to shift it, but in the last one to two weeks, I actually made real progress and went to bed 2 to 3 hours earlier than normal, which is really huge for me! I found out that there are lots of free audiobooks on YouTube that authors upload themselves. So one hour before I want to sleep, I put one on, set a shutdown timer of 60 minutes so it will turn off after that time, and then go to bed and listen to it until I fall asleep. This has motivated me enough to actually go to bed earlier.

As a result, I get more daylight and I am more inclined to do housework, which I also struggle with in general, so this is really great! I am focusing more on that now. I also started playing Subnautica again, but I can only play for a few hours on end because it can get pretty intense. I kinda want to play Sims 4 again (weird, I know). My anxiety app wants me to think more positively, so instead of thinking that it is no use updating my mods because the minute I do, another patch drops anyway and I have to start all over, I should think more positively. I will probably drop the game after playing for a day anyway, so it does not need to stay updated for long! Maybe downloading and updating mods is more fun than actually playing anyway? 😆

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

My EACON3 post is finally here... with all my photos.

I'll skip the trip and go straight to the con because I fear it's going to be a long one. I am not going into details about the panels and other things that went on, but mainly about my interactions with the guests as that's what the con is about, right? I am also probably forgetting a bunch of stuff, so I might add things later if I recall them again, and here and there I may remember things in a different order.

The con started friday evening, I had won tickets to the game night and let me tell you I was terrified and not prepared. On top of that I was exhausted from the trip and had shitty medication side effects too because I had swapped meds earlier that week. Yes, fuck my life.

To make all THAT worse, while I was waiting in line to enter the game room I got texts from my friends who were at the cocktail party with the guests and they told me Arnas had long(er) hair and some facial hair. It was over for me before it started (IYKYK)

Luckily his facial hair was minimal and his hair wasn't long enough for me to go insane, but still, the tone was set and I avoided him like the fucking plague for real

Let me first say that I didn't expect Arnas to recognise me to be fair, as it had been like, what, half a year since we met in Germany? We had a brief interaction on insta a few days before eacon tho and that had made me a little anxious that he might remember me, but I did not want to be delusional so I kept telling myself he simply wouldn't remember me (haha....)

For the game I was in a team with Eliza, Stefanie and Ossian. Eliza is the life of the party and made everyone introduce themselves in our group. For some reason people always struggle with my name, so I had to repeat my name like 5 times and the entire group eventually shouted my name back at me to get it right, which the whole room could more or less hear, and behold; I looked up and saw Arnas glanced my way and then I just knew for sure that he now knew it was me (and I stressed out)

The game itself was hilarious, we played the card game Werewolves and Eliza was simply so much fun, Stefanie was more quiet but so sweet and Ossian… fucking hell, me and Ossian became rivals real fast. He kept saying he didn't trust me (in the game) and felt I was suspicious, which led to him turning the whole group against me and being cast out (which was part of the game). Eventually it turned out that he was completely wrong about my character in the game and, well, I casted him out the next round in revenge. We were going at each other, lovingly, and he was 100% the biggest surprise of the weekend for me by how cool he was and I became an instant fan of him because of his personality. 10/10, cool dude!

Random note: at some part during the game I heard Arnas laugh so hard in his own group while our group tried to concentrate and I struggled not to burst in laughter because of that and it was rough.

When the game was over, Christian and Harry stopped by every group for a brief chat and wow; Christian, beautiful man irl?! He also photobombed my group photo we took afterwards. 10/10, lovely dude! and Harry was HILARIOUS. Did not expect, another 10/10!

After the game I left the room and literally walked past Arnas without looking at him because I just couldn't??? I was so nervous because of the stupid jokes I made to him since Germany, I just couldn't face him for some reason and my meds side effects made me want to hide (constant flushed cheeks, it's awful, even when I'm shivering cold) however, I felt bad about avoiding him because I worried then maybe he wondered why I didn't say hi when we clearly "knew each other" so to say but, well, I went to bed and called it a night.

Saturday morning was rough. I slept well, the meds side effects had lessened so I looked more decent (until later that day again ugh) and I had a selfie lounge ticket for 10am (that's no hour for selfies). I met up with @mrsarnasdelicious and we stuck together for the lounge.

James was the first to approach us, and he was incredibly lovely (and tall, wow). He asked us where we were from and was overall just super kind. We took a few photos and then he continued to the next people. 10/10!!

Then Stefanie came over and again, she is lovely and gooooooorgeous!! She told me she liked my dress as it had the shoulders cut out and she loved that it showed my tattoos. I can't remember what else we talked about unfortunately, but just know she was a pleasure to meet. 10/10, hope to meet her again!

Up next we had Mark! I was so excited to finally talk to him, because in Germany I only saw him during my duo photo op, and we couldn't really talk. I told him I was super excited about him being in the second season of Rogue Heroes and he was so enthusiastic I mentioned it that he rambled on about several things that happened on set when he was filming that season and my heart was so, so happy. I did truly have a hard time keeping up with him talking because of his accent. Mark also agreed that 10 in the morning was an ungodly hour for a selfie lounge and we felt both tired lmao. He's a whole 10/10!!

Eliza was next and she remembered me from the game night and I ended up telling her that I saw on her insta that she went to a Coldplay show in Sweden earlier that year, which I was supposed to go to as well, but I had to sell my tickets due to several reasons. We had a Coldplay fangirl moment and it was everything, I got to show her my several Coldplay tattoos as well and basically she's just a queen who hypes everyone up. Love her! We agreed that at the next Coldplay tour we'll be together at the show (I wish!) 10/10!!!!

Then we met Eysteinn!! My god!! No words. He is so sweet and shy and soft spoken, we absolutely vibed. We bonded over the fact that we both love to travel by train and really don't like travelling by plane. He loves to journal during his trips while I told him I love to read or just watch the scenery. Absolutely a blessing of a man! When I took our selfie I told him that I suck at taking selfies, and he said he has the same problem, so we just made the best of it together. 14/10, he's absolutely adorable.

The dreaded moment arrived…………… Arnas came up to us at this point and I had no chance of avoiding him anymore and all my bad jokes flashed before my eyes-

He greeted me with a happy 'Labas!' (Hi in Lithuanian) and he gave me a hug and I told him 'Laba diena' (good day) which he said was very good. Before I could say anything else he asked me where Danas was (long backstory to this, won't write that all here) I told him Danas did not want to join me to the con so he's back home. Arnas then went on a ramble about how he understood that, because he also wouldn't want to be in the same room with the guy his partner would have a crush on and also wondered why it's okay for women to have crushes, but boyfriends are not allowed to have crushes. I said 'I asked Danas several times who his crush is, but he always tells me he has none.'

Arnas was very pleased with himself here and said; 'haha, see, I totally tricked you into telling me I'm your crush, because I didn't know that.'

me: well *rolls eyes, lowkey shrug* (I believe at this point he "teased" @mrsarnasdelicious for a moment and girlie, you know you were rightfully flustered and it was cute, while I was left rather unphased by his remarks and I still believe that is why he began to rile you up hahaha)

Arnas then went on about the crushes problem in relationships and mentioned to me his gf would "not be happy" if he had a crush. He then somehow flipped the topic towards being obsessed with someone and I cut him off there saying; 'wow, but now you're implying I'm obsessed with you, and that is completely something else.'

Mans got put back in his place and apologised because he was totally blowing smoke up his own ass there (in his own words) and agreed that having a crush and being obsessed are two different things. And honestly the whole moment was chaotic and very surreal.

We also somehow ended up talking about other Lithuanian words and I told him I knew the word that means chicken, which he agreed was very important to know and we started saying 'chicken' in different languages, he then asked me what the French word was and we pondered for a second but I then remembered and it was rather wholesome and completely random????????

We finally got ready to take our selfie but then he wanted to record a video for Danas in Lithuanian. He started talking and I was like; 'what, no, I'm taking a photo?' He then said we could take a photo first but insisted on the video so yeah we made a video where he said some Lithuanian saying and yeah.. It was again very, very surreal. 10/10, still baffled he remembered me and Danas, who he has never met.

Up last we met Timothy and I told him I was very excited to meet him, because in Germany I was too broke to get a photo with him. We spoke about the German con and he said how surreal that con was because he had slept at the airport, arrived just in time, then at one point he went to the toilet and walked into William Shatner, which left him kinda starstruck, and he said 'it felt like I was in the upside down!' and then he apparently walked out of the toilets and walked into a Stranger Things cosplayer and he was about to lose his mind. Genuinely the most amazing anecdote of the weekend. Another 10/10!

Later that day I had polaroid photo ops, one with Eysteinn and one with Arnas. Eysteinn was once again lovely and asked if we should just pose cool, and well, see the result below.

The polaroid with Arnas was chaos again. For some reason he likes to say 'Sanneeeeee' when he sees me (vocal stim? perhaps. also he never struggled with my name, bless) so he did that, but I was exhausted from the whole day and couldn't hide it anymore while he was still high energy. He gave me a hug as I said I was so tired and we then cursed in Dutch at the same time. I asked if he knew anything else in my language and he proceeded to say in Dutch; 'what do you want?' and this left me shook: 'sleep tight, hot thing' (roughly translated). James then asked what language we spoke, we said Dutch, which James thought was cool and he got ready to take the photo. I asked Arnas how we should pose and he went 'should we do the Lithuanian anthem or is that too much?' I jokingly agreed it was too much and we both placed our hand on our heart and James said he loved the pose and told us to hold it. See the result below!

The panels I went to throughout the day were fun and I also met several super lovely people during the day like @whitedarkmoonflower, @bubblyabs (we hung out most of the con and again, bless you!) and also I met @sihtricsafin!

Later that day I was getting an autograph from Arnas and gave him the letters and art some people had sent to me, which he absolutely loved at first quick glance, and he said that his favorite con moment is actually after the con where he goes through the stuff that people have given him. He randomly told me he liked my necklace and I told him I actually got in in Vilnius at a fair earlier that year and he liked that, then asked me which fair it was but I told him I didn't remember. We then spoke a bit about Vilnius in general and it was great. When he saw the keychain that @thalygremlinsson made him (a gremlin with his mismatched eyes) he said he'd put it on his keychain and he also told me a random story how a firework flew into his home when he was a kid while he was playing with a gremlin toy??? I also have no idea besties. Anyway, we got to take another selfie again and…

Speaking about my friend @sihtricsafin… we joined each other in the autograph line for Arnas, and she had bought a recording of her autograph and asked me to film it, which I did, and well, the problems between me and Arnas then began. His handwriting was brought up and he remembered I messaged him as a reply to his story months ago that I thought his writing has not good enough to get tattooed (lighthearted) he agreed then and wrote he was happy I hadn't tattooed it, but apparently he was still "bitter" about that and we got it all on tape.

Also we found out he has never seen Nightmare Before Christmas and did not know who Jack Skellington was after asking my friend about the skull on her beanie (it was Jack), he then jokingly said something like that they didn't have a tv in Lithuania when he was younger. 

Also found out he thinks Muse is a great band and he played Otherside by RHCP on his speaker at some point (bass player!Sihtric confirmed???)

Aaaand that was more or less the end of my saturday at the con!

Sunday was rough. I was very tired from the days before but we pulled through. The day started with a group panel and later that day I had a photo op with Arnas.

Mans absolutely looked me up and down when I approached him at the op and ngl, I am not attracted to Arnas in real life (unless he has the SKMD/Masema haircut and the facial hair) but that split second 100% affected me and left me bewildered for a sec LMAO

I had no idea how to pose, and he said 'oh, classic, Sanne,' (someone was still petty (jk)) and then we both just posed as if we had no clue what to do, but it turned out to look like we are a married couple in the verge of a divorce and I love it

@whitedarkmoonflower gave me an autograph ticket for Mark (as I gave her two selfie tickets so we kinda swapped) and Mark gives great hugs btw! He signed my book but the marker fucked up so I got the cover and the inside page signed by him. bless.

Later that day I had a selfie with Christian and one with Harry because they weren't at the selfie lounge on saturday. Harry was so kind and I wished him good luck with all his future projects and he really really appreciated that. He's so sweet! When I took my photo with Christian he said 'oh, great camera! Or do we just look good because we are two beautiful people?'

Now, I usually ignore compliments bc I suck with them, but I just said 'both,' because in that moment we were just two beautiful people taking a selfie. He said he loved my skull tattoo and that he considered getting a skull tattoo himself (something along those lines) which was really cool???

I then went to Eysteinn to get my polaroid signed, and he said he liked the photo and that we looked like a death metal band. I said I'm up for that and told him I can play drums, he then told me he can play piano and I said we could make that work, to which he smiled (god… that smile). He loves to give hugs, so I got one, and it was great!!

Okay… so, very last minute I decided to get my polaroid with Arnas signed and it was a shit show (positive). It started with the fact he mentioned he didn't like the Beatles (he was playing his own music on speaker again) except for one song and he then looked at me and said 'or is it because I am a snob?' I shrugged and said 'perhaps.' Big mistake. He was "offended" and said he thought he was amongst friends here. I snapped back and told him I heard from my friends the day before that he told them that I trash talk about his handwriting to everyone (something like that). He got defensive and said it wasn't true blahblahblah, we both didn't give up and (lovingly) argued about it. He then finally signed my polaroid and messed up (obviously with that handwriting) and he said that it was my fault (man child) and wrote a petty ass message on the polaroid (toddler). We then told each other (more quietly) that he wasn't talking bad about me and I told him I knew that, but it was sweet of him to clear up that he truly never intended to make something sound bad and I in my turn told him I understood that, and there was this mutual understanding that everything was just a joke but that bickering was rather intense, and I think we both felt the need to make sure we both knew this was never serious, which truly made me love his personality even more.

We ended on good terms and a hug, I told him good evening in Lithuanian and then left. And with that, the con got to an end too.

When I got home the next evening I had only stepped through the door and received a dm from Arnas with a photo of the postcard I gave him, indicating he had read my message to him and it was honestly the most perfect way to end that entire weekend. The timing was insane and I shed a tear!

Well then… if you are still reading this, damn, thank you! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a post and here are the photos. also yes I know, I have like one selfie face, I already said I suck at selfies...

[liamthemailman]

♠️♥️House of Cards♣️♦️

Act Two Part One - Recovery

CW: Minor injury description

White light flooded Ace’s vision as his eyes fluttered open, immediately blinding him. He hissed sharply as a searing pain throbbed at the back of his head. If it wasn’t for the distinct smell of the medical bay, Ace would have assumed he had woken up in heaven. 

Ace sat up before he rubbed the ache at the back of his head. He inhaled as his hand trailed down to his neck where his fingers came into contact with the cotton gauze around his neck. He sighed, a soft groan slipping past his lips as he recalled the events that transpired in the safehouse. His back still hurts from the scuffle he had with Queen. He groaned audibly, already dreading the ramifications that followed.

Ace stretches his neck, testing his limits and feeling the raw skin stretch beneath the bandages. It felt itchy and rough, burning against his flesh, suffocating almost. He took a deep breath, feeling the urge to tear the dressing off. It felt like a collar. An uncomfortable one at that.

It didn’t seem like Ace had been in here long, maybe a day or two at best. He figured he wasn’t out that long as he continued to nurse his head. A nagging thought eats at him as Ace wonders how he even managed to end up where he is now.

The privacy screen screeches against the metal rails as it’s drawn, the sound sending another awful pang to Ace’s head. Ace flits his eyes over at the intrusion, glaring at the form as they step in. 

“Major.” Ace relaxes his gaze, raising his eyebrows at the towering man.

“Lieutenant,” King returns the greeting, gruffing as he closes the privacy curtain behind him. “I see that you’ve finally woken up.”

“Yes sir..” Ace hums, nodding. He straightened up despite the strain in his back. He returns his eyes to King, a silence falling between them. It was tense as Ace anticipated. Before Ace could ask anything, King broke the silence.

“Elize had been put to desk duty while she recovers from her sustained injuries.” King says, answering Ace’s question as if he had read his mind. Ace nods silently, still waiting to be chewed out for being the cause of the assault.

“Sir, I-” Ace opens his mouth to speak but falters as King holds up a finger, silencing the shorter man instantly.

“Relax, Doe, the situation is being taken care of.” King interrupts, earning an odd look from Ace, the man’s brow furrowing. “Awfully shameful situation, really, but we know Private Kyle has always been a loose cannon.”

King’s tone left a sour aftertaste in Ace’s mouth. He frowned, but had expected the disdain coming from the Major. King was never fond of Jack to begin with. While Jack was careless, calling him a loose cannon seemed rather harsh.

“Where is she?” Ace finally asked. He was answered with a short scoff from King.

“They ran off, that coward,” King rumbles, folding his arms across his chest with a scowl distorting his face. This only further confused Ace, but he felt his stomach drop at the reveal.

Without prompt, King continued,“Long story short, the young punk attacked you from behind. That’s how you got your little injury there.” King says, gesturing vaguely to Ace’s neck. “Luckily, Elize managed to step in just as you got knocked out, but not without having to fight him off.”

Ace fell silent at King’s explanation. He had a feeling there was something wrong with it. He couldn’t actually place what had happened, though the nagging feeling at the back of his mind only grew more. Ace didn’t say more, having no grounds to suspect anything. 

It felt frustrating, but Ace surrendered, choosing to just nod along to whatever King was telling him despite it not making sense at all.

King cleared his throat again, his foot tapping against the ground, disturbing the otherwise peaceful silence.

“Well, enough chit chat, Lieutenant,” King rumbles. “Get back on your feet and meet me in my office as soon as you do.”

Metal screeches again as King pulls the privacy screen open, stepping out before Ace could even mutter a ‘Yes, sir.’ 

Ace sighs, and finds himself alone with his thoughts. As his mind mulled over the timeline of the confrontation, his hand strayed back up to his neck. He mindlessly picks and itches at the bandage, pulling at the material. 

His lonesome doesn’t last long as King’s presence is replaced. In walks a nurse, gently pulling aside the screen, holding a tray in hand.

“Don’t do that..” The nurse scolds softly, swatting away Ace’s hands from his neck. Ace stares at the nurse as they present the tray to him.

“These are some paracetamol pills, both for your head and neck. Do take them when needed within six hour intervals-” the nurse drones on with Ace barely paying attention. He hums, absentmindedly scratching at his neck again.

“Okay, thanks but uh..” Ace points to his neck. “Any chance I’m allowed to take it off?”

The nurse stops before they rattle on again, turning their attention to Ace’s neck. They paused. “Well, you can but-”

“Wonderful, darling,” Ace cuts in again, already undoing the wrap, practically ripping it off much to the dismay of his nurse. Ace hops off the lumpy medical bed, pocketing his prescription bottle and swiftly walking away, leaving behind a bewildered and flustered nurse.

Quicksaving...

[addisonstars]

think i like you best when you're just with me and no one else

written for day 20 of november for @wolfstarmicrofic with the prompt "nuts"

447 words!

Remus needed to refill his anti anxiety meds. When he wasn't on them, he got more…anxious (if you want to call it that) and his impulse control was much less than what it should be. It was day six without them, and Remus was feeling, had felt, the effects. 

He wasn't a huge tattoo junkie like Sirius was. Remus had a few, a couple scattered here and there, little meaningful things to him that he thought would be nice. Much unlike Sirius, who when bored would doodle on himself, bring out the gun and ink, then proceed to permanently ink himself with whatever it was. It looked good on him- it fit him. 

But Remus, without his medication to keep him in line, did something he wouldn't normally do without giving it a lot of thought. And Remus gave this exactly no thought. 

He was so scared that Sirius was going to look at him like he was nuts, like he was some stupid idiot that was too attached and too obsessed with him. He was scared that maybe, maybe he shouldn’t have done this, that he should not have gone and gotten Sirius’s full name tattooed across his collarbone. It probably wasn't the best idea to have Sirius Orion Black-Lupin sitting right on top of the bone in small, delicate, black ink. Right?

Remus wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to tell Sirius this either. They were married, had been married for two years now and he didn’t know how to tell his husband that he got his name tattooed on him. Sirius had Remus’s initials, but this was a bit more than that, Remus thought. Luckily for him, he didn't have to figure that out. He was undressing to get in the shower when Sirius walked into the bathroom with a smile.

“Can I join-” His eyes dropped to the new words on his chest, cutting off his sentence, and stayed there until he realized that staring at Remus was probably freaking him out. 

“I can explain, Sirius, I can,” he rambles off, carding his fingers through his hair. “I just, something compelled me and I…” He stopped talking when Sirius walked in the bathroom and brushed his hands over the name. 

Sirius did not look at him like he was nuts. He didn't even look at him like he was one bit crazy. In fact, Siri looked at him like he wanted to devour him right then there, sparing no inch of any surface in the bathroom. 

“I love you.” Sirius says simply, kissing the new tattoo then kissing his Moony. 

Remus visibly relaxes and kisses Sirius back, “I love you too Pads.” 

tell me why it took nothing for me to write the almost 500 words of this and then i proceeded to sit here for 10 minutes trying to come up with a title (and still couldnt come up with one so i stole one from one of my fav songs) ?!?!

title from k. by cigarettes after sex <3

-a.s.

[alj4890]

TBI

(Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart One Shot for Tobias Carrick Appreciation Week

Day 4: fashion and appearance

A/N Going back to my HC for these two. It's early on in their relationship, so Chris is still discovering new things about her favorite doctor in this steamy fluff fic.

Masterlist

"I'm never going to get this door open if you keep that up." Tobias's eyes closed as Chris kissed along his jaw line.

Her hand drifted down, caressing a particular area he loved for her to touch.

He gave up trying to get his key card to work when Chris bit down on his earlobe.

He pressed her up against his hotel room door, giving in to the passionate kiss she'd been waiting on. She moaned as his hands moved over her body. Hiking her leg up over his hip, she encouraged him not to even think about stopping.

"I've missed this." She dropped her head back as he kissed down her neck.

"I have too." Tobias captured her lips again.

The ding of the nearby elevator caused the two to freeze.

"Maybe we should take this inside." Chris giggled.

"Unless you want to give all the doctors here a show." He teased, laughing when she slapped his butt.

As he went to unlock the door once more, Chris tenderly kissed his cheek.

"Hurry." She whispered.

Tobias cursed under his breath. He finally got the door open and urged her inside.

Before the door had a chance to slam shut behind them, they were back in each other's arms. Hands moved quickly to undress the other while lips explored each newly piece of revealed skin.

It'd been weeks since the couple had been together. Given their hectic work schedules at two different hospitals, their need to be with the other had grown, in a word, painful.

When Chris was again chosen to attend the medical conference in Miami, Tobias jumped at the chance to go too so they could spend some time together.

Luckily, the other doctors from Edenbrook that came too paid little attention to Chris and her activities. She was free to sneak away from the conference and be with her favorite doctor.

Tobias used his charm and reputation on the hotel staff to make certain her room was on the same floor as his own, though he had no intention of her using it. As soon as she checked in, he persuaded her to unpack in his own suite.

"Shouldn't we use my room for something?" She asked. "It seems a waste to have it and not use it."

"We'll go there tomorrow night for a change of scenery." Tobias grinned when she laughed.

At the moment, neither really cared what room they were in. They'd spent their first evening having a normal date. After all the flirty comments and heated touches, the only thing on their minds was finding a bed.

Chris's head lolled back as Tobias slowed his caresses, drawing each one out to its fullest.

As he took his time getting her out of her sundress, she couldn't help but laugh.

"I thought you were as anxious as I was." She teased while pushing his sports coat off. "I expected us to already be on round three by now."

Tobias chuckled while pressing his lips against her bare shoulder.

"We have two more nights and three days to have as many rounds of sex-capades as you want." He held her close, his heated gaze notching the tension even more. "I intend to savor every moment.

"Well, when you put it like that." She cupped his face and gave him a long, languid kiss.

He moaned over the feel of her tongue brushing his in an almost unending caress.

Her hands drifted along his chest, tracing every muscle on the way down to his belt.

She stepped back to take in the sight of him. Her heart raced at the fact that this sexy man was actually hers to enjoy. There were so many things about him that attracted her and had from the moment she first laid eyes upon him.

The painstakingly trimmed beard couldn't completely hide the deep set of dimples that appeared whenever he smiled at her. Those eyes of his had the ability to make her melt before he even said a word.

Her gaze lowered to the fine linen shirt he was wearing. The few buttons she'd managed to undo gave a hint of the toned torso underneath. Then she noticed his slacks, perfectly pressed and revealing just how much he wanted her.

Smiling a smile that made his own heart stutter, Chris stretched out on the bed and motioned for him to turn around.

"What?" Tobias asked, his own gaze fixated on what he thought was the sexiest woman in the world.

Chris didn't realize the picture of temptation she made for him by lying on his bed in her underwear. She crossed her long legs, the very ones that could make him weak when wrapped around him, and fluffed the pillows behind her for a more reclined position.

"Strip for me." She ordered with a mischievous smile.

Tobias cocked an eyebrow. "So you want a show, huh?"

"I do." Her voice had turned husky. "Especially if you're the star."

Tobias smirked as he searched for a song in his playlist. Keeping his eyes on her, he began to move his hips to the sultry beat.

"Whatever the lady wants." His deep voice sent a thrill through her.

He didn't know which was hotter, Chris asking for something like this or the way she was looking at him do a strip tease.

Whatever it was, he knew tonight would be one to remember.

Chris bit down on her bottom lip once his shirt was tossed to the side. Her eyes darted along the broad shoulders and the ripple of muscles while he worked on taking his pants off. Her body practically sang in anticipation as she imagined the feel of every inch of Tobias pressed against her.

Once the pants were gone, Tobias winked at her. He decided to tease her by turning around to remove his boxers. He glanced over his shoulder to see her reaction once they dropped, and stilled.

Her brow was not only furrowed in thought, she'd moved until she was on her hands and knees, studying one of his butt cheeks.

There was nothing remotely sexy with her clinical study of his rear end.

"What is it?" He asked.

Her hand touched his right hip, while she leaned down closer to make out the small markings dotting his skin.

"You have a tattoo!" She exclaimed.

"I know." He briefly closed his eyes.

"How did I miss this?!" She sat back down.

"Probably because when naked, I'm doing all I can to seduce you." He explained.

Chris knew that was true. She was usually more focused on his front than back during the times they made love.

He could tell by the gleam in her eyes that the anticipation of sex was no longer what held her attention.

"When did that happen?" She asked.

"Med school." Tobias attempted to get their night back on track.

He gently pushed her down on the bed and began to kiss her.

He was only able to distract her for a few seconds. She broke away from what should have been a mind numbing kiss to demand the story.

Tobias dropped his head and groaned against her chest.

Knowing there was no way out of this, he propped himself up on his elbows so he could see her face.

"Well?" She prodded. "How did you end up with the letters, TBI, tattooed on you?"

"It's a little embarrassing." He began.

Her eyes lit up with interest.

"Chris." He warned. "Just remember that I'm still the sexy man who you think the world of."

Her lips trembled with suppressed laughter.

He playfully narrowed his eyes at her.

"I swear I will keep all comments until the end and remember how much I adore you." She promised with a quick kiss to his lips.

"Wouldn't you rather kiss me" he brushed his lips against hers with each word, "than listen to some stupid story?"

"Nope." She giggled at his groan of frustration. "Besides, someone pointed out that we should savor every moment here."

Tobias groaned once more over his luck. Being naked and on top of an almost naked Chris was going to make it even harder to concentrate on appeasing her curiosity. Then again, he'd yet to resist anything she'd asked of him.

"Fine." He couldn't help but smile at her. "Once upon a time,"

"This story requires a fairy tale beginning?" She asked, doing her best not to laugh.

"Of course it does." He replied. "There was once a charming, handsome medical student who was friends and roommates with a fellow cocky, pain in the ass."

Chris snorted, already shaking with her suppressed laughter.

"One night, the pain in the ass and that charming, handsome medical student decided to celebrate their final exam in biochemistry."

"What did you and Ethan have planned?" She asked.

"To drink until we lost the ability to say the phrase, can I borrow your biochem notes."

Tobias shook his head as he tried to remember the events that followed. "We started with tequila."

Chris winced in sympathy. "You two really were determined to forget that exam."

"We moved on to vodka after that." He added. "One of us came up with the bright idea to explore the libations of different countries for our drinking purposes."

Chris could easily picture the two deciding to do that very thing, all while believing that it sounded intelligent.

Tobias's gaze became distant as he recalled that hazy part of his past. "Anyway, by the time we decided to try some sake, so as not to leave the great country of Japan out, I came up with the bright idea that we should play a high stakes game of darts, with the winner getting to choose what tattoo the other should get."

"Ethan agreed to that?" Chris couldn't wrap her mind around the man she knew to his former self.

"Of course he agreed. Not only does he love a challenge, he was also drunk off his ass too."

Tobias chuckled as he thought back to how their darts hit everything but the board.

"We eventually gave up trying to see who could make the highest score. Our only goal was to see who could actually hit the dart board."

Chris began to laugh, imagining the inebriated pair doing their best and miserably failing.

"Ethan managed to hit the very bottom edge with his last dart."

"So he's the reason you have that on your ass?" Chris asked.

"Yep."

"But why, TBI?" She prodded. "Those aren't your initials."

"About that," Tobias rolled his eyes. "Even drunk, Ethan couldn't resist permanently teasing me with our chosen profession."

Chris's eyes widened with realization. "You don't mean he chose the acronym for--"

"Traumatic Brain Injury." Tobias finished for her. "He wanted me to have a daily reminder of how stupid I can be when drunk."

He watched her try to keep from laughing. "He also had it tattooed on my right cheek so I'd never be right again."

Chris lost the battle. Her laughter filled the room as tears of came to her eyes.

He shook with his own laughter. "After that night, I never got drunk again."

Draping her arms around his neck, she tugged Tobias down for a kiss.

"If it's any consolation," her lips trembled with mirth, "you still have one fine ass."

"I'll take it." He grinned at her. "But I'm going to need a lot of soothing for sharing this with you."

"Far be it from me to deny a man some tender, loving care." She couldn't resist teasing him one last time. "Especially when he's suffering from a traumatic brain injury."

Tobias's groan over that jab turned into a deep moan when Chris wrapped her legs around his waist.

She spent the rest of the night making sure he was properly soothed.

[songmingisthighs]

Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lv - i'm san

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

You walked through a sea of people despite it being almost 2.15 am, huffing at the air that had become colder and harder to inhale, trying to look for the bar where San was. It took his drunken ass 20 minutes to send the location and although he was well aware of his drunken state he told you (over the phone, completely slurring) that he's not letting go of the love of his life. Whiskey. The bartender had to wrestle his phone out of his hands so he wouldn't dunk it in his drink.

Of course, when San said bar, he forgot to mention that it was a fancy-ass speakeasy filled with Gucci suits and McQueen dresses, making you look like a slob even with your Kate Spade heels and Coach bag. They wouldn't even let you in until you showed them your business card which you didn't have but luckily you had your company ID card with you. And things weren't so hard once you mentioned you were High Breed's sole heir's assistant and he was drunk as a skunk at a Mardi Gras parade and had personally asked you to help him out. And once you got in, it didn't take a while to locate your dear boss who was cradling a bottle of Jack's as he vocalized the tunes of Pirates of the Caribbean with no embarrassment. God bless the utter ignorance of these schmancy-ass people who don't seem to give a tiny rat's ass about San's absolutely ridiculous state.

With a huff, you gathered all the will you have in your body, all the strength that you might need to deal with your bonehead of a boss and calmly walked over. When you got closer, you could see that San had a dopey look on his face, grinning with his eyes turned to slits and a flush of pink on his cheeks. Granted, he looked adorable but by God, his decision to annoy you this late will not get him your sympathy.

"And so I said, what if we DON'T make this one for both humans and hybrids because we can't have a fuzzy pink human walking around after trying out allergy medication. But shhhhhhhh, okay? You gotta shh shh about this, because technically speaking I shouldn't be telling you this," he giggled to the bartender who had a deadpanned look on his face as he wiped some glasses. San suddenly sighed and pouted, staring at his drink sadly as he spoke with a very sad tone, "I hate that (y/n) is going out with Seungcheol hyung. How can he take her out so quickly and so easily when I had to spend time to get on her good grace again? And even then I was still unable to completely get through to her, you know?" You decided, for your own entertainment considering the extra work you had to do to babysit your boss, you wanted to know what he had to say about your time spent with Seungcheol. "You know, before this, I wouldn't have cared whatsoever about anything or anyone. Heck, I couldn't even feel my feelings because of the crap my parents put me under so imagine my absolute surprise and disappointment that this feels worse than shit," he scoffed, chugging down his drink and then putting the glass forward to be refilled, much to the bartender's disappointment. "Do you think I can get (y/n) to focus on me if I act more like Seungcheol hyung? Or if I wear pants that accentuate my ass more?" and for some moments San and the bartender only stared at each other, San, in his drunken stupor seeking an answer, and the bartender not knowing who this 'Seungcheol hyung' person was or how to answer San's pants question. It was then when you decided that San had had enough and it was time to tuck him to bed.

When you stepped to his side, San immediately took notice of you and his face lit up like a child, "Hey! It's my ex, (y/n)!" he exclaimed rather loudly, causing you to panic slightly when people looked over to you both. "Excuse me-" He interrupted you with a childish nod of his head, "You are excused, miss," to ensure you wouldn't smack his face, you clenched your teeth tightly and huffed in annoyance, "No, sir, I am here as your ASSISTANT. Do you remember, that?" San's mouth dropped to an 'O' shaped which followed but a series of slow nods, "Ooooh, right, you ARE my existence," "Assistant," "potato pina colada," he shrugged as he took a sip of his drink. You were busy texting his chauffeur that you didn't realize San turning to look at the (tired-looking) bartender once again, "You see," he chuckled to himself with a finger pointed to you, "I used to date her in high school, right? Then we had sex but then I hurt her because turns out," he leaned over the bar slightly which caused the bartender to widen his eyes in surprise, "I'm a little different than anyone ever thought! Like, it was CRAZY!" he giggled.

At that point, you realized that there was a chance that San could blab about something he wasn't supposed to. Whether it was about his personal life, his family secret, or even about the company, there's a chance that if anything were to happen, you and the other employees were going to get the brunt of it and you might lose your job because the company might go down. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration but it was a thought that you couldn't help but have considering the circumstances. The circumstances being you were there and within the first two seconds of San realizing your presence, he told an absolute stranger about your past relationship. There was a chance that he would mention the fact that you both were sleeping with each other and that the bartender might leak the news to a gossip portal or something. His family secret being exposed is one thing, but to drag you down with them would be a mess you were not willing to partake in.

"Okay, that's enough alcohol for you!" You chuckled awkwardly, grabbing San by the shoulders and plopping him back on his seat, causing the man to pout and whine. You didn't care, however, checking your phone one last time to make sure that his chauffeur had brought the car up front, you looked at the bartender, "Can you send the bill to his home?" "Yeah, sure, you can call in tomorrow and say you want to make payment for the 12.30 am tab that was handled by me," he smiled at you, seemingly to assure you or to calm you down slightly which you were so thankful for. So you smiled back at the bartender before taking one of San's arms around your shoulder and pulling him off the stool, "Thank you..." You squint your eyes to look at his nametag and beam at him when you got the name, "Hyunjin, you've been such a great help tonight. I'll make sure my boss tips you well." You immediately pulled San away and thankfully he had not much of an issue walking, he only needed help navigating and making sure he wouldn't trip on his own two feet. "Hey, I saw that," he pouted, eyebrows furrowing together as you both exited the premise. "Saw what?" "You and the bartender being all flirty! Right in front of your boss as well!" he scoffed in disbelief. You rolled your eyes at him and opened the door of his car, "You didn't even remember I was your assistant," was all you said before you shoved the man inside and soon joined him.

It seemed that despite his drunken rambles, San was able to hold his liquor quite well because as soon as he got inside the car, he was considerably calmer. Sure, he insisted on sitting closer to you and having your hand in his, but he mostly kept to himself as he watched the lights outside the car window decorating the sky. When you looked at him, you saw him smiling to himself but you could've sworn you saw a hint of sadness in his eyes and it didn't sit right with you. Especially after hearing him say something earlier to the bartender about hurting you. All this time you thought that it was just an accident, he was too into the moment and he made a misstep that ended up hurting you. That was what you believe happened. To be honest, that's the truth you were holding onto because you understood accidents, you understood being overcome in a situation by emotions. But was there something else? Something you didn't take into consideration?

"Hey," San slowly turned his head around to look at you after you called him, "Yes?" he answered, his smile still on his face. "The thing you said earlier... To the bartender," you trailed off, not knowing how to bring the topic up or the words that he used. Not quite remembering, San raised an eyebrow at you in confusion yet he didn't say anything, seemingly wanting you to use your ow words to ask him what it was that you wanted to know. "You know..." you bit your bottom lip, unsure how to approach the topic and unsure how he would answer as he was intoxicated. "The thing I said to the bartender? About pink fuzzy humans?" it was apparent that he didn't even remember exactly what he said which begs you to question what the hell he talked about to the bartender during the time you were still on your way?

"No, San," you exhaled sharply and turned your body slightly so you would be able to look at him directly, "The thing about what happened to us, about you hurting me when we had sex a long time ago, during our graduation." Immediately, San's eyes shifted to his lap at the mention of the accident, seemingly in thought. "You said you were different and no one expected it from you. What was that about?" you asked, genuinely wanting to know so you made sure that you didn't use any accusatory tone or use words that seemed to push him into a corner.

For a moment, it seemed like San wasn't going to answer, his eyes were still glued to his lap as his hand squeezed yours tighter. But you wanted to know, you wanted to understand and he was just talking about it to a complete stranger so you thought it was your best chance to get the answer you never knew you should get. Thankfully, San lifted his head back up and looked at you. "I'm... A hybrid."

You froze.

"Excuse me?" you asked, making sure you didn't hear him wrong. But San nodded firmly, "I'm a hybrid, (y/n). A wolf hybrid just like the rest of my family," he said. You were at a loss for words because you were sure that he was not, you even remembered his parents telling you that he wasn't like his other family members and that he was different because he was the first human that came from a long lineage of wolf hybrids. You remembered his parents telling you that San's condition was rare and it made him sensitive because other children made fun of him when he was growing up and adults pointed out how he didn't fit into the family. Some family members even looked down on him and questioned his parents and grandfather when they announced that San was going to inherit the company when he was 12 years old. So it was confusing to you when you heard him say that he was in fact a hybrid.

You wanted to ask him what he meant, ask him what happened and why he lied or covered up the truth for so long. But your shoulder suddenly felt heavy and the tuft of hair tickling the side of your neck gave you an answer. You didn't know it as you couldn't see, but for some reason, you just know that San had his eyes closed as he exhaled long. "Thank you for having the will to take care of me, (y/n). I know you know you didn't have to go this far, but you still do and for that, I'm very grateful," he said in a low voice. You didn't know what to do or think from his words because, on one side, you were still annoyed that he interrupted your free time, but on another side, you know deep down that you would do it no questions asked. Not to mention his confession changed things even if it was only slightly. You were now aware that something really did happen with San and you wanted to get to the bottom of it, for sure. But, seeing San so calm and serene like this, open and showing emotions like your old San, the San that you fell in love with years ago, you think you can interrogate him come morning. For now, rest is more important.

For him at least. You still have to haul his drunken ass up to his condo somehow.

taglist :

@hwasrie-main @90s-belladonna @kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @miaatiny @shinotani @jayb17 @dreamlesswonder86 @mayonnaisehoeshit @bbymatz @yunhorights @tinybinnie @blaaiissee @yunhobug @kwanisms @yoongiigolden @kpopnightingale @maddiebabyxoxo @dea-nimus @meowmeowminnie @x-bluee @itsbeeble @gxlden-bxbyy @charreddonuts @x-woozi @jwnghyuns @marvelous-imagines-for-all @baguette-atiny @jessi-outdated @dogsongy @kirooz @ateezourstars @memorymonster @yoonguurt @atinytinaa @naiify @cecedrake2217 @spooo00oky @flamingi @thesolarplanetarysystem @hijeongguk @hongjoong-lovebot @linhyyboo12 @leeknowsnothing @knucklesdeepmingi @doom-fics @yesv01

[damistrolls]

how did you get away with being a mutant

"By being too cute to kill."

"Kidding. In reality, a kindhearted jade took pity on me in the caverns and cared for me away from the empire's prying eyes. She didn't have to do that, but she did. There's no one I owe more to.

Anyways, she didn't want me to grow up isolated, and after getting all of my papers in order, enrolled me in school. Every day, before class, we would flatten my fins to my cheeks and put big bandages over them and my gills. I called it a gross medical condition, and though that sort of scared some kids off from being potential friends, it prevented anyone from trying to take a peek underneath the bandages.

I did this for a long, long time. You should have seen how awful my gills looked during this time. But to me, it was better than having to stay hidden. This luckily changed in university. You would be shocked how many mutants were there. So many of us slipped through the cracks... While I still had to be careful about walking around with my fins exposed, I didn't exactly have to hide who I was. It was refreshing, you know? The campus felt safe.

And then, upon coming to ANCR, I got an official pardon. I have a fancy little card for it, actually. It won't stop the most zealous mutant-haters from trying to kill me of course, but at least I'm safe from a legal standpoint. It's one less thing for my mother to worry about. My gills have long-recovered, too!"

[stephofromcabin12]

I went to like a viking site today for a festival, bc I am an ex-archeology student (we parted ways lovingly, turns out I’m just not built for digging) and I love a chance to go look at old stuff and smell like a bonfire and get some jewelery and stuff

However, it always reminds me just how chaotic living in those close quarters is. Like in HOO when the romans camp out on HBH, it’s like— I’m medicated but even still my ADHD ass was having a time™️ walking around the camp. It’s loud, because you’re in open air and tents don’t provide any sound proofing. Its also hot AF if it’s sunny, so everyone’s sweaty. People are making food in various places so theres smoke and dust in the air, which not only created a lovely coating on your skin when you sweat but also hurts your eyes. I actually found myself wondering if archers would be bothered by it in the long term, since watery eyes are a minus if you’re going to aim at things. Ig dust and stuff is also bad lol.

I know the viking settlements were a bit less structured than the romans but no amount of symmetric lining up of the tents will remove the noise, smell and dust of living in tents on a field. And the smoke.

Also the people dressing up like vikings always confuse me. Because yeah I get you’re showing how they would dress but my guy it is 28 degrees and there’s not a cloud in the sky.

And you’re wearing three layers, leather shoes and a hood. Take the hood off, Leif. Please, Søren, you’re going to get heat stroke, take the pelt off. And the women wearing both the underpants, kirtle and the little apron thingies that go over the first dress AND the hats. Like??? Bbg you look so slay, please just take the hat off or remove the long underwear. I was actually concerned for some of them lol.

Like, as it is with archeology, we can’t say for sure, but I would wager in my most humble opinion, that the vikings took their shirts off and dressed down in hot weather too. Or it’s probable that they picked up some ideas on hot-weather clothing on their travels to warmer climates. There were for example two lovely vendors at the festival I chatted with who’d travelled from Bulgaria and while they were both dressed time-appropriately they wore lighter, white linnens that hang losely, compared to the heavier knits that the scandinavian vendors wore.

I appreciate comitting to the historical accuracy as much as any other nerd, but I also used to wear a 3-layer, heavy uniform (that included leather boots and a hat) in all kinds of weather, including extremely hot, for hours at a time and I got second hand heat-exhaustion looking at those people lol

And we know some of the vikings’ clothes were breathable, however that factor gets ruined if you’re wearing layers upon layers. Thank you for coming to my archeology tedtalk lol

With all that said I had fun, and the people looked great, no comments there, except the guy with the pelt idk what he was doing— some kind of pirate viking maybe idk….And I got some jewelry so that’s fun. I regret not getting two things….luckily I got their cards so I can check their online shops >:>

What kind of questions do you have for me about archeology? (Rhetorical, unless you actually have any lol)

[omsdoortodoor]

OMS Door to Door Challenge – Departure Date minus 12 weeks

Jane’s week

As part of our training, we have brought the motorhome to France.  We have never motor homed in France before and wanted to stay at a couple of ‘aire du camping car’s’ so that we know what to expect.  France is very geared up for motorhomes and many villages have aire’s, with secure barriers, fresh water, dumping station (yes I’m sure you’ve worked out what that is).  Some even have electric hook ups.  We travelled to Plymouth and took the ferry to Santander.  Taking the dogs through passport control is so much easier with a motorhome than a car.  You have to scan each pet’s microchip for border control, and it is so much easer in the motorhome because in a car, you have to contort yourself so that you can reach each pet.

We arrived at Santander and shared the driving to the aire on the first day.  Luckily it was pretty straight forward to work the barrier to enter.  The aire was just over the French/Spanish border into France.  It was stunningly beautiful situated by a lake and very quiet.

The second new experience was operating the péage toll.  When you’re in a motorhome you are so much higher up.  I had never realised that not only are there buttons for tickets and contactless screens at car level, but they are also at truck/motorhome level, so you don’t have to jump out.   I thought it was very clever, until the machine ate my credit card.  Very frustrating.  We had to arrange for the card to be stopped and have a new one sent.  But of course, we are now in France not in the UK!

During the last leg of the journey, the Satnav told up that it was re-routing our journey due to a road closure.  It took us over the top of some of the mountains, a route used by the Tour de France on the Pyrenees leg.  It is also part of Ian’s route on the last day of his challenge.  We wound our way slowly up the mountain, zigzagging all the way.  The road was so steep that Tarka started to slide across the motorhome floor.  Luckily, he managed to scrabble for his bed before he slid too far down the van.

Most people who have motorhomes take van security very seriously and we are no different.  We have some great stickers on the outside saying ‘Dog On Board’ as a deterrent.  We also have a hidden tracker, which links to both our phones.  Every time the ignition starts or stops we get a notification on our phones.  It also tells us exactly where the motorhome is at any point in time.  Expensive but we think it’s an investment.

A couple of weeks ago, I told you that I had to re-apply for my 3-year medical driving licence.  I’d had some extra tests which were sent directly to the DVLA and I was waiting with bated breath for the results.  I thought it would be fine, but you just never know do you!  So, I was delighted when a shiny new licence arrived just before we left for France.  The other good news is that since being here in France, I am feeling a lot less tired, even with the heat, which tends to cause fatigue.  RESULT.

Ian’s week

“Maybe, deep down, cyclists know that hills, and the temporary pain and struggle they involve, are a fantastic metaphor for life. It’s shit when you’re struggling. But the pain will end. It always does. There’s always a summit. You’ve just got to keep going”. Mike Carter.

On the way to Auzat we stopped at a French service station which had a sculpture dedicated to the Tour de France which was interesting.

I haven’t cycled for a couple of weeks, mainly because I was finishing off a few jobs and getting ready for our break in France, we also did an interview with Geoff from the OMS South West Group which will be aired in July – we will send you the link when that happens.

So here we are in the Ariege and I have been out on the bike twice so far. Devon's hills can be tough but are nothing compared to the mountains.

My first cycle was down the valley from Auzat to Tarascon and back. Just over 20 miles, the first half is mainly downhill which means that the return is mainly up! Nearly 900 feet climb in about 10 miles.

The second ride was an extension of the first going through Bompas and Mercus. After crossing the Ariege river I returned through Tarascon to Auzat. Although it was only seven miles longer it felt like twice the distance. Cycling up from Tarascon in 27 degrees and full sunshine was tough which is summed up quite well in the above quote.

Thank you for reading this blog. If you would like to see Ian's training routes you can find them here

Jane and Ian

[jellyjamoh]

06/09/24

Halfway through the year, here are the bookish photo that I have took each month.

January

PLACE:

-The photo was taken at the National Library in Kalaw, Manila. T'was a typical sunny day and since I had nothing important to do, I went out to read. Twas my first time visiting the place and its nice (as in neat, orderly, and quiet). It kinda gives you a CCP vibe when you're in the vicinity. It's a perfect spot for a dorky person like me. Aside from outlets they also offer free services like wifi. The library is very accessible and highly recommended. :>

BOOK: Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers

-It is a series and I got curious the moment I saw the book. The summary defined an old garden that used to be beautiful and astonishing and Leota (the main character made some reconstruction). I picked it personally just so I could read something new. It is not my go-to novel and something that I'd choose to read on a normal day. Hence, I still bought it. Not expecting it to be a drama-heavy story. Though the author ended it beautifully. I would give it a 3/5 star rating then.

By the way, I bought the book in Booksale SM North the Block. The cute bookmark was purchased in Fullybooked Greenbelt. :>

February

PLACE:

-Photo taken while I was traveling on my way home. We were passing through SCTEX at that exact moment (if I am not mistaken). It was a fine day to read a book. The weather was partially cloudy and I was seated in a relaxing spot on the bus (luckily) where I got a glimpse of nature's wonders. The clouds looked like meatballs. (cloudy with a chance of meatballs) lol

BOOK: Henry V by William Shakespeare

-I bought this book in the National Bookstore Puerto Princesa City Palawan. I was accompanied by my friend Rj when I decided to buy it. That moment I couldn't wait any longer. I already had in mind to visit my Grandfather in the cemetery because I missed him with my entire being. Normally, it would take 3-4 hours of ride to get there from the City. I just couldn't travel without a handy book to keep me sane.

-I adore Shakespeare and his creations. I wouldn't elaborate any further on why I wanted to read his writings. He is very unique, gifted, and has a brilliant mind. He's a good companion I would say. I'll give this book a 5/5 star rating :>

March

PLACE:

-Brought a token of appreciation to a friend of mine. T'was an advance birthday card and I gave it to him because we only get to catch up once every two years. I hadn't even greeted him for more than 3 years already. I was alone when I took the photo and spent the remaining time of my staycation reading instead of watching a film. Mainly because I was so obsessed with this book.

BOOK: Surgery Platinum by Doc Ron Baticulon (lods) and a lot more

-Good heavens know how much I'm dying to read this. I wished summer of 2023 to own a copy of this edition. Unknowingly there's an available epub on the internet. It just took me some time to discover though. The moment I realized it, I downloaded a copy right away. ofc. :>

What do you like most about the book?

Amongst the 6 books that I've read, this is actually the top tier. To be honest I didn't plan on splurging with novels. I was supposed to be studying starting last year. I still have pending neuro journals on my lappy and they're scheduled to be read during my past time. I just stopped studying med-related stuff because as we all know Tanchi has willfully prevented me from studying my premed course. (which sucks. I know he sucks!)

-On the other hand, I am not yet through reading this. But so far, I can't express how happy I am every time I dive into it. The most interesting part for me was Chapter 3 I guess. The Medical Aspect of Surgery. Learning about different levels of transfusion reactions was cute (mild, moderately severe, and life-threatening). I also find the pre-op use of anti-coagulants interesting. It is so informative and a meticulous surgical technique nothing like I've heard before. Indeed, it is a 5/5 star rating for me. <3 <3 <3

April

PLACE:

-Photo taken in my room. :>

It was so random that I picked this book. I was waiting for the bus to arrive cos I just booked a ticket going to Occidental Mindoro at that moment. T'was my first time traveling to Mimaropa alone. (like alone alone) Such a fun-filled experience and I enjoyed reading a few pages on the ship.

BOOK: Extra Virgin Amongst The Olive Groves of Liguria by Annie Hawes

-I bought this in booksale Paranaque Bus Terminal. A novel like no other. When all you have in mind is a good trip and a total vacation experience, you might also pick something like this randomly. I loved Italian cuisine even when I was younger. Maybe, that's the sole reason why I find it interesting. I'll give this book a 3/5 star rating.

May

PLACE:

Bought matcha tea latte at a doughnut store just to get a decent photo of this book (for bookstagram purposes only). :> I thrifted 3 books this day too. I went out actually to set an appointment at a clinic.

BOOK: His Last Bow Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle

The book was purchased at Bonifacio Global City National Bookstore. I stayed there after my shift and bought it spontaneously. I spent the whole day at McKinley because I was contemplating whether I should or should not continue working in our company. lol I just had the worst shift that night and I almost wanted to give up.

I couldn't make more comments about Arthur Conan Doyle. He is wonderful. I am touched by a certain chapter though and I think it is edifying. Watson is a very caring person and Sherlock wouldn't be Sherlock without him I'd say. It's a 5/5 book star rating for me.

June

PLACE: Starbucks Cybergate

This has been my go-to study space. I think next to our office it has become my 2nd comfy spot in Araneta. I always buy matcha and or chai here before I start working. I've already read a lot of books here too. It is quite a memorable place for me. This night however was different. I waited for a friend while reading and we spent time catching up afterwards.

BOOK: Circles of Seven by Bryan Davis

Last year there was a book fair in SMEX Convention where I purchased this current read. :> It was a birthday present for myself. Couldn't rate it yet. I'd have to finish it first.

[foster-the-world]

It worked?

Two weeks ago my wrist starting feeling weak for no real reason I could figure out. Last night it started really hurting. Unable to bear weight. Luckily its my non-dominant hand. As far as extremities go that's the one you'd want to give up but generally I'd prefer to use all four.

At 9 this morning I found a 10am appointment for a hand and wrist/bone/joint specialist relatively close to my apt. They took our insurance. I paid a reasonable $30 copay. He took an ultrasound - diagnosed a common inflammation. Gave me a shot of lidocaine and steriods directly in the wrist. And I'm better. I'm so accustomed to medical situations being a hot/unorganized mess that I was shocked. There is still some pain but its much better. He also prescribed an over the country numbing agent. Said to take it easy for 1-2 days but otherwise want to keep using it.

We've been told baby boy has a social security number. No card but a number. No ones given it to us but I'm taking the win.

Also, generally less stressed about whatever his diagnosis will be/whatever services he receives. He's doing wonderfully at school. The substitute clearly loves him because he's an incredibly lovable, joy-filled child. Yesterday she told me she's discovered a few activities that he loves/will sit quietly and do. She clearly gets a kick out of him and is enjoying figuring out ways to help his more challenging behaviors. Exactly what you want from your child's teacher. I knew I'd calmed down and this would all work out but of course in the moment that doesn't help the angst.

I need to write the PTA monthly newsletter. Its not difficult but for unknown reasons I always, always put it off.

[percervall]

what if I love you?

Player: Jordan henderson Words: 870 Warnings: Fluff Request: Receiving flowers - Maybe one where the Reader is a younger physio who doesn't think he notices her until he sends her flowers on Valentine's day? A/N: Asndsd i love this idea so much??? hope I did it justice!

title from Gatlin's What If I Love You?

---

Seeing the vase on top of her desk made her stop in her tracks. She quickly looked around to see if the person who left them was still around, but the corridor leading to her office was empty. Dropping her keys and tablet onto her desk, she took in the bouquet. The majority of the flowers were in similar shades of pink, very close to her favourite hue, mixed with a few white and cream ones. She ran a finger over the petals of one of the peonies and felt her lips tug up in a smile. Turning the vase around she looked for a card, finding it tucked away between two roses.

“Someone’s got a secret admirer,” a voice came from the open door. She felt her cheeks heat up as her best friend and colleague Jess stood in the doorway.

“I’m sure it’s just someone being nice, I did just get my Masters in Sports Medicine,” she replied, not fully believing her own explanation. Jess hummed in a way as if to say yeah, sure. Even though they’d only been working together for six months, she and Jess had hit it off from the moment she became part of the medical staff at Liverpool. 

“I doubt Klopp would send you pink flowers to congratulate you, babe. What does the card say?” She had to admit Jess had a point there. Although the Liverpool manager sometimes acted like a dad for everyone he employed, she too doubted he’d send her this type of bouquet. She slid the envelope open and pulled out the thick cardstock. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! I didn’t know how to tell you in person without losing my nerve, but I’ve had a crush on you from the moment we met that day in the foyer of the AXA. Been trying to ask you out for months, but instead I’d end up making up some vague injury that needed looking at because the moment you look at me, I’m gone. So here goes: Can I take you out for dinner? Tonight maybe?

xJ

She read the card and then re-read it a second and third time, just to make sure it actually said what it said. She felt her cheeks heat up at the memory of the first time she met him. She had just joined the club and was still trying to find her way around the training grounds. Her arms had been full with supplies for the treatment room and she didn’t notice she still had one more step to go coming down the stairs. “Careful!” someone had said, as she collided against him with a tiny shriek. The boxes had fallen, but luckily he had caught her. 

“S-so sorry!” she had tried to apologise, momentarily forgetting what else she was going to say when she looked in those bright blue eyes. Jordan had chuckled, making sure she was okay as his hands lingered a little longer than perhaps necessary on her waist. When his fingers brushed against hers as he handed her the fallen boxes, she could’ve sworn she felt a spark of something pass between them. And this remained in the weeks and months that followed. They’d steal glances at one another when they thought the other wasn’t looking, hands would linger a little longer than needed when hugging or when she treated his injuries. She thought it had all been in her head, but now to see it written quite literally in black and white, it took her a while to let it sink in that all this time he had felt the same way. 

“You okay?” Jess asked, pulling her from her thoughts. She blinked, trying to clear the fog of memories.

“Y-yeah. Sorry, I have to go,” she mumbled and left her office, still clutching the note to her chest. She made her way down the corridor and saw the team was wrapping up training. Pulling on her puffer coat, she walked outside. Nervous butterflies settled in the hollow of her chest as she spotted the Liverpool captain. She swallowed hard and kept walking until she was almost in front of him.

“Hey,” she said, fidgeting with the note.

“Hey,” Jordan echoed, cheeks flushed. She wondered whether that was just because of the cold. 

“I-.. Thank you. F-for the flowers I mean. How did you know peonies are my favourite?” Jordan shrugged. “I might’ve overheard you mention it to Jess once,” he said quietly, not quite meeting her eyes now. She was quiet for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. She had not thought this through when she left her office. 

“Also found your note,” she all but whispered, looking down at her hands that were fidgeting with the folded piece of cardstock. 

“You did?” She nodded, meeting his eyes.  He looked at her, eyes full of hope.

“To answer your question, yes. Yes, I’d like that very much.” The smile that tugged at his lips squeezed her heart. He brushed his lips against her cheek, making her stomach fill with butterflies. 

“Pick you up at 7?” he asked. She nodded, skin burning where his lips had touched.

“Great,” Jordan said, grinning now, “It’s a date.” 

She couldn’t wait. 

Tags @football-and-fanfics @kostasstsimikass @lfc21

If you want to be added to the tag list click here

[lulubelle814]

Regards, Loki - Chapter 17

Master List

Cora came to the hospital as soon as she heard what happened and stayed with Louisa until she woke up.  Cora let Chad and Brad know she was in the hospital but couldn’t share any details as she didn’t know yet what had happened.  

About an hour later, Louisa started coming to, finding herself surrounded by the only three friends she had in the world.  “Brad!  Go get the doctor!”  He rushed to the nurse’s station and refused to leave until the doctor went back with him.  Luckily he didn’t have to wait long.  The doctor had already been on his way to check in on his patient.

Dr. Gareth arrived and asked everyone to provide some space.  “I’m so glad to see you’re awake!  How are you feeling?”

‘Why am I here?  What’s going on?’  She thought to herself as she looked around, confused, but recognized straight away that her head was killing her.  “My head……”

Cora kept her from touching the wound as the doctor continued.  The doctor checked her head wound.  “It’s ok.  I’ll get you some medication to help with the pain.  If you’re feeling up to it, the police would like to talk to you.”  She looked at Chad, Brad, and Cora for a moment.  Cora wanted to tell the doctor no, but she didn’t want her best friend to have to drag out this whole ordeal.  “It’s ok if you don’t want to.  They can come back later.”

Finally, she tried to sit up.  Cora helped her, and Chad grabbed the extra pillow he was able to get from the nurses to help make her more comfortable.  “No, they can come in.”  Dr. Gareth finished his exam before allowing the officers in the room, one male, and one female.  

The female officer took the lead.  “I’m Officer Banks, and this is my partner, Officer Richards. We’re very glad to see you up.  We know you may not remember much, but anything you can tell us will help immensely.”

Louisa found her to be warm and understanding and appreciated that she waited a moment before asking her first question.  “What’s the last thing you remember?”  

She thought for a moment.  “I was at the office, and I had to use the bathroom.  When I went back to my desk……” And everyone could see things were clicking in her mind.  “Someone came up behind me, covering my mouth, and dragged me….”  She began crying as she remembered pieces of what happened.  “I remember……he locked the door…….said something about going away?  And taking me with him, I think?  Said I looked like a present ready for him to unwr….”  She stopped, having a hard time breathing.  The monitors were going crazy. 

Dr. Gareth rushed back in.  “I think that’s enough for now.  My patient needs her rest.”  The officers agreed while Dr. Gareth gave her a mild sedative to help her calm down and regain control over her breathing.

Officer Banks took out her card, handing it to Cora.  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that this happened.  Here’s my card if you can have her call us when she’s feeling up to it.”  Cora nodded and placed the card in her purse.

As Officers Banks and Richards were leaving, the doctor advised he’d like to keep her at least overnight for observation as a precaution.  Cora let Louisa know that they would not leave her alone in the hospital just before she fell asleep from the exhaustion and sedation.

Chad suggested someone pick up Louisa’s belongings from the office, but Cora didn’t want to leave her side.  So Brad offered to go pick up her things and bring back some food for everyone.

When he arrived at Louisa’s office, there were still a few police hanging around.  He headed straight for reception, letting them know he was there to pick up Louisa’s purse for her.  When hearing her name, the receptionist’s head popped up.  “Is she ok?  Please tell me she’s ok.  Is she at the hospital?  Are they going to keep her there a while?”  She asked so many questions that he couldn’t keep up, which was something, considering he could usually operate at a much faster speed.  This girl he’d only met once but chatted with via text for a few days quickly became like a sister to him.

“I, uh, don’t have a lot of information.  She’s in the hospital at least overnight.  I don’t know about the rest, but I think she’ll be ok.  I just came by for her purse?  We didn’t see it at the hospital.”  She rang up security to come meet him.  Upon seeing a member of the security team, she motioned him over.  “Ms. Louisa’s friend is here to pick up her purse and bring it to her.”  The rather large gentleman nodded and guided him towards Lou’s desk where he quickly found her purse stashed in the bottom drawer.

Once he got back with her purse and food, Cora tried to encourage them to go home, but they refused.  Louisa didn’t have a lot of people, and they all wanted to make sure she knew she wasn’t alone in this.

Just then, they heard a notification tone from someone’s phone.  They each looked at their phones in turn, not finding any new messages until Cora remembered.  She pulled out Lou’s phone to see a couple of messages from ‘Loki’.  The first one was from 4 hours prior.

Loki: The situation didn’t go anywhere near as smoothly as I had hoped, but he’s now in police custody.

2 hours later

Loki: I hope you’ve had a better day than me.

Another 40 minutes later.

Loki: Love, are you ok? 

There were a few more after that.

Loki: Darling, please?  Are you there?  

LokI: If I don’t hear from you soon, I’m going to ask Bruno to check in on you.

Loki: I just need to make sure that after every shitty thing that happened this afternoon that at least you are ok.

5 minutes ago

Loki: I’m calling Bruno in 10 minutes if I don’t hear from you.  

Cora thought for a moment on how to handle this, deciding to text him from her own phone.

Unknown: This is Sigyn’s friend, Frigga.  She’s in the hospital.

Loki: Shit.  Is she ok?  Will she be ok?

Frigga: I think so.  

Loki: What happened?

Frigga: She was attacked.  I’ve only heard bits, but I think it’s best she tells you when she’s ready.

******************************************************************************

James was pacing his apartment.  Once the police were done questioning him at the scene, he decided to take the medic’s advice and went to a clinic to get his scrapes checked out and have them look at his hand as it was hurting from repeatedly striking Mr. Price.  They dressed his wounds and x-ray’d his hand.  Thankfully it was only sprained.  He was sent home with clear guides to keep the wound clean and also put ice on his hand.

Although his hand hurt, he didn’t hesitate to text Sigyn.  She occupied so much of his waking thoughts these days and felt as if he cheated just by admiring how beautiful the woman was that he saved.

It was just as he picked up his phone to call Bruno when he got a message from an unknown number.  Finding out his Sigyn was in hospital infuriated him.  On top of all the shit that went down, the person he cared most about in this world was hurt, especially to the point that she couldn’t message him directly.  He gave his gratitude to Frigga for being there for him, asking to let him know if there was anything he could do.

He wanted to scream, punch a wall, or throw something, but he ran out of steam, collapsing into tears on his bed and feeling like a failure.

[rainbow-fairylandsystem]

just some life updates, for my lovely followers and mutuals that still keep up with me! it's very long, a lot has happened in a very short amount of time (all of this happened from mid-september-now)

!!!TMI warning!!! i had to get a pap smear done, and it went very poorly. i know i've had a pap smear done before and i realized during the procedure that it's a complete blank spot in my memory (probably because it was so painful and traumatic). the procedure this time around was extremely painful, probably the most painful thing i've experienced. my therapist says the fact that i still remember the procedure is an amazing sign of progress, even if it doesn't feel like it

my brother broke up with his girlfriend. which doesn't sound like a huge deal, but those two had been dating for 10 years. she and i weren't particularly close, but she was the only one in our family that ever recognized how he treated me. she was kind of like... a buffer between me and him because she always told him to leave me alone. i'm very happy that she left the relationship, i'm sure it wasn't healthy, but it's left me more of a target for him than ever. so going home is a bit of a nightmare

i had a long talk with my mom about mental health when i went home for Thanksgiving, and i've realized that i don't want an apology from her. she's not emotionally intelligent to give me an apology that actually means anything, because she can never understand the damage that she's done to me. i don't want an apology, i just want her to understand

after getting home from thanksgiving, i got my identity stolen (and this was 2 weeks after my credit and debit cards were stolen and had to be replaced). someone in my system that doesn't understand identity security gave away a lot of information that they shouldn't have, and scammers ended up opening a credit card under my personal information. luckily we were able to get the card shut down before they spent anything, but it took 4 days of Vex (our financial organizer) tracking down the card and sitting on hold with a dozen banks and making sure our credit was frozen afterwards. our info is out there forever now, all due to this stupid illness

then, a day after Vex finished solving this, a friend that i've been trying to talk to while maintaining boundaries/distance sprung a very stressful emotional conversation of me, which i've asked her not to do multiple times. so i had to restate my boundaries again, which i was not in the headspace to do at the time

then, on top of all that, i'm going home in less than a week to stay with my family for a week to celebrate Christmas

Because of all the stress, I'm currently very ill. I have GERD and Barrett's esophogus, which is an illness that flares up during times of stress. I'm on a lot of medication at the moment to keep it at bay, but i apparently got so stressed that the symptoms totally overrode the medication. it caused me to be unable to sing for almost 2 weeks (which as a vocal teacher, adds even more stress) and I was pretty much unable to eat or drink anything without getting ill. I'm starting to feel a little better, but all my doctors said i should consider taking some time off work to get my personal stress levels under control

[djino04]

OmegaVerse - Contact Day

POV Saul

Things are getting better and better between Andreas and me. We are far from getting back to our past relationship and unfortunately I don't think we ever will. Too much has happened, too many betrayals on both sides to make it work. Well, to be honest, finally the betrayals are only on my side since it was under Rosalind's control. But in any case, I'm still glad to see that things are getting better. 

I'm also glad to be able to train with him again. It's nice to teach students but unfortunately most of them are not a real challenge for me and I rarely fight against them. But with Andreas, I feel like I have to push myself to win and I missed that. Well, it took several sessions before I was no longer afraid of killing him with each blow, now it's better even if I had some scares. 

What I didn't miss was his overprotection. He always has been overprotective but I feel like it's much worse since he found out I'm an omega. I hate knowing that he thinks I'm weak or whatever. I haven't changed, I'm still the same man I was before the revelation and yet he's changed his view of me. Just because I need regular contact with an alpha, doesn't mean I need to be watched 24 hours a day by a babysitter, but obviously he didn't get the memo. The next time he tells me to put on a sweater, I'm stabbing him, and this time for real. 

But today isn't a training day for us, it's "contact day" as I've started calling it in my head. And that's why we're both sitting on his couch, with a safe distance between us. Before Aster Dell, I would have been lying with my head in his lap or we would have had more contact than his hand on my wrist. But I'm not going to complain, he doesn't have to do that. He could have very well left me to fend for myself with the medication or even prevented me from getting it and not offered any alternatives. So even though my omega is dying for more, I repress my needs and keep my distance. 

On the other hand, unlike the first few times, now we can talk a little more easily and about something other than classes. Despite this, I am surprised when Andreas asks me: 

"Do you think Sky will eventually forgive me?"

I think for a few seconds before answering him: 

"He only got my side of the story on Aster Dell and a wrong side at that. I think when you're able to tell him the truth, things will settle down. It won't be right away, he'll need time to digest and process everything in his head but it will come gradually. I'm sorry to tell you, but right now he thinks you're a psychopath who let a whole village be decimated and that on top of that, you abandoned him and replaced him with Beatrix. You have to admit that this is not an ideal start to a relationship. And despite that, things have already started to improve, right? You spent the day with him on his birthday and he didn't seem unhappy."

I don't ask what they did that day because I'd rather not know. Knowing Andreas, chances are it was illegal. Besides, if I knew what they had done, it would immediately become more concrete and I'm not ready for that yet. I raised Sky for 16 years and I have a hard time sharing him, even if it is with his father. 

Luckily for me, Andreas isn't a mind fairy, so he continues as if nothing happened: 

"Yeah sure but he's confused about my behavior but I can't blame him. I can't be with him as I am with Beatrix. Already, Rosalind wasn't too happy about our little car escapade the other day, I can't do anything more without arousing his suspicions."

I pat the hand that's resting on my wrist: 

"Sky's a smart boy, he'll figure it out when he has more cards in his hand. And anyway, we're going to have to start seriously thinking about a plan before some fairies take matters into their own hands. No matter what our plan is, we'll need the support of some of the students and your son is one of them. You can tell him everything then. And then look, he's started to forgive me even though I'm guilty of the crimes he accuses me of, so there's no reason why it can't go well with you."

"You're right Saul."

I have a big doubt about whether or not he actually believes me. A big part of me thinks he just wants to cut the conversation short. As if to prove it to me, he removes his hand from my wrist. I feel the loss almost immediately but I don't show it. 

He stands up and tells me: 

"Come on, it's bedtime for both of us."

Then he grabs one of his sweatshirts lying on a chair: 

"Here, put this on before you go out into the halls."

He's lucky Rosalind doesn't want me to have a dagger on me...