#lumberjacks and janitors

[bamsara]

How many followers are in the lamb’s cult? Taking into account all of the jobs needed filling, kids, their parents, elders, and those simply vibing there must be a lot.

There's quite a lot of members, wayyyy past the 20 something needed to break Narinder free from his chains and I'd even say past the 100 member limit in the game. Think of like, a little kingdom or village, basically (Which google is telling me is average of 150-200ish people so we can use that)

There's no way I'm gonna make a side character for every single one, but know that the cult is def much, much bigger and it keeps the Lamb super busy. It's also why there's a big need for improvements, like the plumbing for running water Lambert started, or how the kitchen is set up, the amount of land dedicated to farming, ect.

A large populace also means a lot of resource drain, so pretty much everyone has a job, though I made up some jobs I think would make sense so everyone isn't just 'farmer, lumberjack, miner, janitor, ect ect. So like, record keepers, hunters, nurses, blacksmith, tailor, carpenter specifically for house repairs, couriers, ect ect.

At some pint in the story Lambert is going to look into building a school house and appointing teachers to teach language and basic maths/knowledge because not every one in the flock is literate yet. It's a large, developed community but it's also got plenty more ahead

[majickth]

hey! here to ask about the hermits hollow au because it's Consumed My Brain <3

Do you have thoughts as to what everyone is in this au? Any thoughts on adding the Watchers at all, or is Evo not really your thing? Just some thoughts!

Watchers would be a fun little inclusion, though where they fit in, I haven't decided yet. I haven’t thought of what everyone is just yet, but so far I have:

Grian, a former journalist who’s trying to find some peace and quiet only to get wrapped up in the happenings of Hermit’s Hollow.

Pearl, who’s Grian’s sister and the reason he goes to Hermit’s Hollow. She’s a janitor at a local school who has a strong fixation with the night sky. Occasional sleepwalker, sometimes goes missing in the middle of the night only to wake up in the middle of the forest.

Scar, owner of Scarland and an infamous conman. He’s charming, if a bit accident prone, and constantly looking for the next big attraction. Surprisingly mysterious past. Occasionally invites people on a private tour, but if asked about it will deny outright or change the subject.

Jellie, co-owner of Scarland.

Cub, a strange man that often visits Scarland. His supposed relation to Scar changes each time, but the two seem like old friends. His appearance changes too. Sometimes he seems older, younger, or weirdly both. Strange ichor-like fungus seems to appear whenever he visits.

Doc, a backyard mad scientist who may or may not be responsible for some of the strange creatures seen wandering the woods at night. A recluse, lives at the edge of town, entertains few visitors. If all the lights in town suddenly flicker all at once, its probably because of his inventions. Grows the best tomatoes in town.

Ren, one of Doc's few friends and constant visitors. Pretty chill, friendly, outdoorsy kinda guy, the typical lumberjack. Tends to disappear once a month, coincidentally around the full moon. Towns folk tend to stay inside during this time.

Impulse, Pearl and Gem's roommate. Nice guy, even if he did just show up outta nowhere. If asked about where he's from, the trio get noticeably nervous and change the subject. Has a collection of occult-ish books. Always warm.

Gem, Impulse and Pearl's roommate. A forest ranger. Part-time actor in the local community theater troupe. Knows the wilderness like the back of her hand, even if the trees do tend to move around.

Mumbo, an engineer at the local electric plant who disappeared without a trace months before Grian's arrival. No one's seen him since, but Grian swears that he's seen him show up in the background of photos when no one was there before.

[its-just-hyper]

@nepeta-leijon-official ALRIGHT! SO! DRHF stars fuka toyoda as our ultimate lucky student and main character! (…till he’s… ahaha well-)

We’ve got a full cast (including a monokuma clone named monosune. Her banter with monokuma is that of a ‘wife’… it goes as well as you’d expect)

Rantaro Amami (ignore his hair thing I swear it doesn’t mean anything for Toyoda)

Fuka Toyoda — ultimate lucky student. He’s believed his luck has been nothing but exceptionally awful, always putting him in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe his luck is changing now that he’s been accepted to hopes peak, right?

Kei Keiouma— ultimate forensic scientist. She’s your kyoko, your sidekick ^^

Chinatsu Hara — ultimate pop sensation. She’s supposed to be a subversion of sayaka. She acts as your ‘antagonist’ and attempts murder at least once. (She fails)

Kohaku Bando — Ultimate Rockstar. What Leon should’ve been. Don’t think about the implications of a Makoto, Sayaka, and Leon homage, it doesn’t mean anything I promise (lying)

Toshiba Tone — Ultimate Basketball Player. We tried to fit into danganronpa tropes so here is your Sporty Big Tit Girl Who Miraculously Survived!

Shiori Shishido — Ultimate Veterinarian. Her size is intimidating until you’ve seen her holding a kitten. She’s a sweetheart and would totally wrestle an Aligator for anyone.

Geiichi Takata — Ultimate Playwrite. Short perv except he’s tall. His disrespect and bad behavior definitely won’t bite him in the ass (lying)

Umeko Mita — Ultimate Gardener. Umeko did nothing wrong. I promise. I promise. I promise. A they slash them (literally), umeko hates bullies and loves flowers.

Shinobu Akamine — Ultimate Blacksmith. Tragic lesbian. Strong and quiet and definitely a target of suspicion, with her weaponry and such.

Hikaru Ozawa — Ultimate Dungeon Master. Fast friends with Umeko, Hikaru is convinced that he’s the one controlling the game, getting more and more distressed and needlessly guilty as more people die. Hope no one hears him calling himself the Mastermind, since he quite genuinely isn’t.

Sayuri Kubota — Ultimate Ringleader. The small and cute one ™. Friends with Shiori over their love of animals (although everyone loves Shiori), totally not just himiko wearing blue ⸝⸝==‘⸝⸝

Hanzo Tsutsumi — Ultimate ‘Motorcyclist’ ashamed of his true talent (shsl janitor) he keeps his distance and tries to act cool. Whhhat, the hidden talent character ™ isn’t a protag? Who could’ve guessed. Huh.

Masuyo Hamamoto — Ultimate Chessmaster. Tragic lesbian part 2. She’s literally so cool and smart and selfless. Only good things happen to the smart and selfless ones, remember sakura? :)

Yuto Nakono— Ultimate Stand-up Comedian. His biting jokes usually get a laugh, even if they can be kind of mean. Of course, he doesn’t really know where to stop, even when lines are crossed. He gets along very well with umeko because of this. (Lying). Good thing umeko did nothing wrong (also lying).

Tatsuki Aoyama — Ultimate Lumberjack. Monokuma let him keep his axe to encourage murder, if not by him than of him for being a threat. He’s chill and would probably help you study for midterms, even though he wouldn’t understand any of it.

Oh yeah here’s some sprites in varying levels of completion, mostly done by @th3ratk1ng . We have all the chapters mostly planned out, also

(Pictured: Kohaku, Shinobu, Chinatsu (her hair is an edgeworth reference, yes) and Umeko)

Oh yeah and this lol

[callivich]

So, I read a fic a bit ago where when Mickey was locked up, he learned the trade of barbering..So, anyHC for barber!Mickey and how he and Ian would meet? (Maybe an ugly meet?)

Hi anon!

The fic sounds interesting! The only barber Mickey fic I’ve read is care for a cut by @gallawitchxx but I can’t remember if it mentioned Mickey learning while locked up so maybe this is a different fic? 🧐

-

Some possible ideas for barber Mickey -

Mickey and his brothers run a barber shop which is a front for drug dealing. They don’t actually do anything there. Ian is offered a job interview out of the blue and he accepts without realising his hair looks like shit. He finds Mickey’s barber shop and runs in hoping for a last minute cut. But Mickey is shocked someone has even come in the shop, let alone is asking for a cut. The guy is desperate and offers him over the ‘rate’ on the door. And, well, he’s kinda hot so Mickey goes with it. How hard can it be to cut hair? Turns out very. Ian is angry he has to go to his interview with what is basically a bowl cut.

A prison!AU where it’s Ian’s first week and he’s in prison for arson. He dyed his hair black because he thought about going on the run. And now he’s here, he hates it. It’s starting to grow out and it looks stupid as fuck. He goes to the barber who is also a prisoner. And meets Mickey who takes the piss out of his black hair with its bright red roots. He just will not shut the fuck up throughout the whole hair cut and Ian is very annoyed but he is also just a tiny, little bit turned on by Mickey’s rough hands and his nice smell and the sound of his voice.

Instead of getting a job as a janitor, Ian gets job as an apprentice barber and Mickey is his boss. Well. No. Mickey is not the boss, just the guy who is assigned to teach Ian. But he’s calling himself Ian’s boss, which instantly pisses off Ian. And Mickey is not that great of a teacher. They argue all the time. The customers hate them. There are complaints. The actual boss sits them down and says if they don’t get their shit together, they’ll both be fired. Which neither can afford. Cue a private lesson after hours….

Ian is an EMT who gets a call to a grumpy barber who has cut himself with a razor by accident. The barber, Mickey, insists it’s no big deal but Ian insists he take a look. And it’s bad but it’s nothing Ian can’t fix. So he does and then goes off to the next call. But he can’t stop thinking of the hot barber. It’s been a while since he’s asked a guy out. He’s nervous. He decides he needs an excuse to see him. So he lets his hair grow out, doesn’t shave and books an appointment with Mickey. Problem is, Mickey’s on vacation. By the time he’s back, Ian’s looking a bit like a lumberjack.

Help our trainees learn! Come and get a free haircut! That’s an offer Ian can’t pass up. So off he goes for a haircut that, yeah, probably won’t be that great, but whatever. It’s free. He’s having second thoughts when he sits down in the chair. The trainee barber is nervous and pissed off. Ian’s not sure he wants this guy using sharp objects near his head. But it’s kinda too late to back out now. He tries to make light conversation and finds out the guy’s name is Mickey but he wants Ian to “shut the fuck up so I can concentrate”. However, when Mickey has a little bit of a meltdown, Ian manages to calm him down….

I don’t know what you unlocked here anon. I had not thought a lot about barber Mickey but suddenly I’m coming up with all these ideas?! 🤯

[missajj]

[MERRY PINECREST] Mateo Torres - the cute lumberjack and his adorable little sister spends Christmas with you

[zarathesilentgamer]

Fun Cult of the Lamb challenges:

Only left side Doctrines - You can only select doctrines that appear on the left side of your screen only. (With exception of story based doctrines, such as bonfire ritual).

Only right side Doctrines - You can only select doctrines that appear on the right side of your screen only. (With exception of story based doctrines, such as bonfire ritual).

Zigzag Doctrines -You can only select doctrines in a zigzag pattern. If you start on the left, the next doctrine has to come from the right side and then, back to the left for the next. You must continue in this pattern throughout. (With exception of story based doctrines, such as bonfire ritual).

Alphabet - This is a simple and easy challenge, name each follower after a letter of the alphabet, starting with A and going all the way to Z. You only have to do this once. Or you can continue through your entire playthrough, ending when you rename The One Who Waits. The only rule being that you can’t give followers the same name. So if you have a follower named Bob, you can’t name another follower Bob. (Sorry).

Cult of Confusion - Pick a name, any name. You favorite name, least favorite? It matters not, for when you pick a name for your first follower that now becomes the only name you can give all future followers. So if your first follower is named Bob, you will now have a cult of Bob and only Bob. To add to the confusion, you may not add roman numerals or any other distinguishing agents to the name. No spaces, !, ?, #, ect. They are all now Bob. Have fun.

Noah’s Ark: Lite - You must unlock and collect one of every animal and keep them at your Cult, if they die you must resurrect them or gather another of the same animal to replace them. If you want to make it more challenging, add the Cultist DLC(or any future DLC that adds animals).

Noah’s Ark: Hardcore - You must unlock and collect two of every animal and keep them at your Cult, if they die you must resurrect them or gather another of the same animal to replace them. If you want to make it more challenging, add the Cultist DLC(or any future DLC that adds animals).

Noah’s Ark: Bible Accurate  - You must unlock and collect the correct number of every animal and keep them at your Cult, if they die you must resurrect them or gather another of the same animal to replace them.(Any animal not listed in the bible, you must collect at least one of each). If you want to make it more challenging, add the Cultist DLC(or any future DLC that adds animals).

A Sacrifice A Day - Once you are given the Sacrifice Doctrine you must use it every time it’s available to you. So choose your follower carefully. If you sacrifice your last and only cult member, you loose the challenge.

Resurrect Them All - Resurrect all followers, who have died and keep them alive as best you can. If you have any dead cultist by the end of the game, you loose the challenge.

I AM, THE ONE AND ONLY! - You can only assign one follower to each task. One farmer, one janitor, one miner, one lumberjack, one of everything, only. (With the exception of builders).

And keep it Holy -  Work towards unlocking the Holy Day Doctrine but, until then you must go round to all your cultist and assign them to builders on every 7th day. You are also tasked with leading by example and must reframe from working, including going to the lands of the old faith. (with exceptions to making meals) You may not harvest materials or plant crops, or put up buildings. You may however play Knucklebone but you are forbidden on this day to place bets.

Feel free to add to this list or change the challenges to make them either harder or easier to suit your way of playing and have fun.

[pandagirl45]

The amount of times I wrote Tony being into people who work "lower-level" jobs is a lot. First, it was a janitor, then a plumber.

What is next?

A dishwasher?

A lumberjack?

An electrician?

A car mechanic (Read a lot with that?)

A desk Jockey?

A mailman (postal delivery driver)?

What is next for Rich Guy Tony Stark to be into Labor Workers (Bucky or anyone up to you).

Tony "I think that is super hot" Stark

Tony, I want to climb that man/woman/person like a tree, Stark

Tony takes one look at Bucky who is a gardener frothing at the mouth (unsure if it is horniness or allergies). Tony asking Janitor Bucky to clean him up. I like this funny funky trope (is there a trope like this, let me know please).

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

Tell me more about Chucky’s friends I simply have to know

OOOOOO IVE BEEN WANTING TO FOR A WHILE THANK YOU!!!!

Alrighty, to begin, they are three local men that were part of the group of townsfolk mentioned here! Basically that's how Chucky and then met

And they are the following three:

Don Rivers:

Is the closest friend of Chucky's

A Lumberjack

In his mid 40s

6 feet tall, bald, always wears a baseball cap, has a five a clock shadow

Is pretty quiet, keeps to himself a lot of the time

Has a wife and a teenage son

Lives in a small wooden cabin and mostly likes hanging out on his porch on a lawnchair

Has a huge gun collection

Jerry Hickens:

A Construction Worker/Money Launderer

In his late 50s

5 foot 5, very wide set and overweight, yet has big muscular arms and stupendous strength, has light brown messy and curly short hair, also has a moustache

He's the loudest, crudest, and the biggest asshole of the group (whos heart only shines for his friends and family)

Loves to have bar fights and just scream and throw shit around in general

He lives in a small one story house with his wife and 10 kids (5 are in their teen years and the other 5 are young kiddos around 5-10 years old)

He and his family are Jewish

Bob Berkeley:

Works as a janitor for Fogbush Elementary

In his late 30s

5 foot 3, very skinny and pale skinned, has shoulder length reddish brown hair that is very wavy and unruly in nature, has a very angular face structure with a ratty goatee

He's very much the Twitchy Paranoid Eccentric Weirdo of the group, he tends to have a natural shiver which causes him to shake a lot of the time

He's the one that supplies Chucky with lots of poisons and chemicals from his janitor's closet

Surprisingly, he and Chucky plan a lot of murders that Chucky commits outside of OceanBerry together lol

He lives with his girlfriend and his little brother he became guardian to when his parents died

---------------------------------

Thank you so much for asking this, this was a ton of fun I loved it!

I really hope I see you again and have an awesome evening Beetle!!

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Tenth Christmas

the series is as follows so far:

First … Second … Third … Fourth … Fifth … Fifth Christmas, Part 2 … Sixth … Seventh … Eighth … Ninth … Tenth … Eleventh … Twelfth … Thirteenth … Fourteenth … Fifteenth … Sixteenth … Seventeenth … Eighteenth … Nineteenth … Twentieth … Twenty-first … Twenty-second … Twenty-third

———————–

Mulder was so tired, he could barely see straight. He’d been working as a lumberman in the woods of northern Minnesota for the past three months, so he was used to the work but today had been extra cold, extra windy and everything seemed extra heavy, given the layers he had on and the fact that the snow was nearly three feet deep in spots. Not about to complain, however, given the extra money he was getting for working the holidays, he took a two-minute breather, then got back to it, cutting, trimming, moving, settling, tying, climbing, checking, trudging, to begin again.

Scully had scored herself a job on the janitorial staff of the local school system and was there now, cleaning the high school over break, making things neat and orderly for the return of the 1000 students come the end of winter break. He questioned her motives for applying and taking the job, given it was fairly far beneath her, but as she reminded him with a smile, he thought everything was beneath her, including him much of the time. She then told him she needed the contact, the interaction with the outside world, a conversation with someone other than him, no offense of course.

He hadn’t taken any, knowing it was harder for her than him to live the solitary lifestyle. She’d come from a boisterous, loud, bouncing family and to plunge her into single-interaction insanity wasn’t healthy in the long run. It took him almost a year to convince her she needed more than telemarketing jobs and data-entry positions that allowed her to work from home.

The Gunmen, long before the thought of running was a glint in Mulder’s eye, had begun making identifications for them. They’d created entirely new people, histories, allergies, likes, dislikes, dental visits, prescription refills, bad credit, maiden names, social security numbers, ATM cards, storage lockers and a myriad of other things that only paranoid, long-haired, suit-wearing funny named men could think of. After they finally filled Mulder in, Mulder began filling those accounts with money squirreled away from two inheritances, well-picked stock trades and living like a pauper for several decades.

Scully didn’t get in on the act until after Mulder had been abducted. She had a very frank conversation with Byers and Frohike while Langley, who was a surprisingly good cook, made them all a taco pie she would kill for everyday if necessary. They worked out a few kinks and soon, knowing something would have to give eventually with the situation, she was squirreling as well.

The pair of them tried not to touch any more of their savings after the first few months, deciding that odd jobs could bankroll their meager existence. Scully picked up several doing the aforementioned phone work and data entry while Mulder went the handyman/mowing lawns/painting houses route. Mulder’s paid under the table while Scully could have her checks automatically deposited into one of their fake checking accounts. All in all, they figured it out.

They became adept at being together and being apart from everyone else.

They learned to carry on conversations without delving too deeply into the past.

They learned that they only had each other.

Then they slowly began to learn to function apart.

Scully went to the smaller church in town and got a library card, making friends with the librarians while Mulder went to the woods. Scully needed people while Mulder needed to fire up a chainsaw and cut shit down, carving up a tree as he carved his past from his life.

All but Scully.

He kept her close.

She kept him closer.

Nights were quiet, filled with cards and movies and books and knitting and crossword puzzles and writing on Mulder’s part and learning on Scully’s. She decided one day she wanted to learn how to whittle. God knows why, Mulder thought, but he watched her determinedly wielding a pocketknife like it was scalpel. She accepted the blocks of wood he brought home after a day in the woods and eventually began turning them into chess pieces. When she was done with that, she began making blocks for the kindergarten and first grades, sanding edges, smoothing planes into several sets of alphanumerical squares that she donated by simply leaving them on the school steps at dawn.

She then began a secret project, one she did while sitting in the bathtub of their monthly-rental unit, able to keep her endgame hidden from Mulder by pulling the shower curtain shut when he had to pee.

It amused him and kept her mind occupied, which is all he could really ask for from the world he dragged her into. He’d stopped feeling guilty for taking her with him but he never quite got over it, so he brought her chunks of oak, cedar, pine as penance for his sins.

That Christmas Eve, he made it home after her, finding her cooking in their small kitchenette, ham and potatoes, bowl of jiggling red Jell-O on the side. “Christmas Dinner already? I thought we were doing that tomorrow?”

“This is just something quick. Tomorrow, I’ll make that small turkey I got and we’ll have stuffing and corn. It’ll be like Thanksgiving but … more Christmas-y.”

He grinned, sidling up to kiss her before disappearing to the shower to eliminate that day’s sweat and grime. Emerging 10 minutes later, he ate the filled plate she handed him, then filled again when he asked. Once he’d finished his Jell-O, he noticed her staring at him, her bottom lip half-pulled between her teeth, a question wanting to escape but held back by berry red lips. Putting the spoon down, he gave her a gently smile, his eyes soft, his face languid, “you, little miss, have a question to ask so spill it before you explode.”

“Would you like to come to church with me tonight? I mean, you don’t have to but I just … I’d like it if you did. I haven’t gone to Christmas mass alone … ever, really and ….”

The end of her sentence evaporated into the fragrant, honey-ham air of the room as she began to think this was a really stupid request.

He stopped her, though, before she got too anxious, talking herself out of something he had yet to say, “I would love to go with you.”

Relief flooded through her and he received her happiest smile, dimly lit by the one crappy overhead kitchen light, her eyebrows curving slightly along with the corners of her lips. “You sure?”

“As long as you know that the whole being struck by lightning the moment I walk in the place is still a viable possibility.”

“I don’t mind.”

&&&&&&&&&&

He took a short nap before they left and he felt fairly awake when they walked quietly into the church. It was a low building, decked outside with wreaths and lights and Nativity scene and decked inside with trees, pine garland, bows, angels and a particular smell that Mulder couldn’t seem to get enough of. Once they were seated, she leaned over, telling him in a hushed voice, “you keep breathing like that and you’ll pass out in the next four minutes, I guarantee.”

“Then what is that smell?”

Scully took her own deep breath, “incense, pine, candle wax, snuffed matches and cinnamon.”

“That’s a hell of a nose you’ve got.”

“Don’t say hell, Mul- Jake. It’s church and you don’t need to invite the lightning.”

Mulder reached his hand over, capturing hers and squeezing it tightly, letting her know the near-mistake would be okay. It wasn’t enough to send them running like it might have in the earlier days but Scully still felt the panic rising in her chest, the comfort of his hand soothing but not eliminating the tightness in her belly.

They sat in silence as the church filled up around them. There were more people than Scully had expected but there was plenty of room between families and individuals that she didn’t feel crowded and overwhelmed and realizing this, relaxed a little and led Mulder through the Catholic rituals of midnight mass, complete with hand-holding, kneeling and boisterous carol singing, Mulder’s voice blending in seamlessly.

She’d have to ask him about his secret singing abilities when they got back home.

After communion, after the kneeling, during the sitting but before the standing and the praying, she felt Mulder’s head land on her shoulder. For a moment, she expected him to whisper something else to her, possibly asking when in the world this whole affair would be over but instead, he remained silent, asleep instead, eyes closed, cheek settled, breathing steady.

She didn’t have the heart to wake him to stand when the time came so she self-consciously sat, mouthing the prayers and holding his hand. Even the last of the celebratory singing didn’t wake him nor did the people filing past, smiling down at the pair, whispering ‘Merry Christmas’ to Scully, who could only thank them with a gestured, raised hand and a low, inaudible ‘Merry Christmas’ in return.

Waiting until the church was half-empty, she was about to start waking Mulder up when she caught sight of the priest crouching down beside her in the aisle, “apparently, I was not as inspiring as I could have been. I’ll have to do better next year.”

He said it with a wide grin, however, and Scully, knowing his sense of humor from the last few months, smiled back, “you did wonderfully. It’s just he was at work out in the woods at five this morning and only got the chance for a short nap before we came here.”

“I always tell the children that God doesn’t mind if they fall asleep while saying their prayers. It means they had a fulfilling day and feel safe enough to drift off giving thanks. I think the same applies here. A hard-working man does his best but eventually feels safe enough and happy enough to fall asleep with the one he loves, even if it’s the middle of mass.” Standing back up, “I take that as a compliment for both God and myself.”

Scully’s eyes desperately wanted to fill with tears but she swallowed them down, “Merry Christmas, Father.”

“Merry Christmas, Ella.”

&&&&&&&&

Soon, they were snuggled down in bed, Mulder’s mouth drifting across her neck, more asleep than awake and promising nothing but a moment of clarity to tell her he loved her and Merry Christmas. Nuzzling him back, she tucked herself into his arms, thinking about how, in the morning, it would be Christmas and he would see the ornament she’d carved for him and she’d find out what was in that square box he’d wrapped for her several weeks back.

But first, she was going to go to sleep, warm and cozy under their flannel sheets and thick comforter, the one with the crop circle pattern that Mulder had indulged in when they realized they’d be north for the winter. The single string of red Christmas lights strung over the bathroom door frame bathed Mulder’s face in holiday hues and with a final kiss, she shut her eyes, his heartbeat carrying her into slumber beside him.

[simulacrahelps]

IN THIS MASTERLIST YOU’LL FIND 214 OCCUPATIONS FROM THE GAME BITLIFE.

Accountant

Actor

Admissions Assistant

Amusement Park Attendant

App Developer

Apprentice Chef

Apprentice Grocer

Apprentice Hairdresser

Apprentice Makeup Artist

Apprentice Music Composer

Apprentice Telemarketer

Arcade Assistant

Architect

Armpit Sniffer

Assistant Chief Fire Chief

Assistant Curator

Assistant Manager

Assistant Vice President

Associate Chief Justice

Asst. Engineering Manager

Asst. Principal Principal

Asst. Superintendent

Baby Sitter

Background Vocalist

Baggage Handler

Banker

Barista

Barnyard Sperm Extractor

Bartender

Bellhop

Beverage Cart Attendant

Bike Shop Mechanic

Biotechnologist

Bookkeeper

Boot Camp General

Boot Camp Major

Boot Camp Officer

Boutique Associate

Bowling Alley Attendant

Brain Surgeon

Brand Ambassador

Bus Driver

Business Analyst

CEO

Cadet Patrolman

Cafeteria Worker

Camp Counselor

Campus Tour Guide

Car Wash Attendant

Caretaker

Cashier

Catalog Model

Chef Garde Manager

Chef Tournant

Chef de Cuisine

Chicken Sexer

Chief Justice

Chief Pilot

Chief of Police

Circus Performer

Clinical Nurse Specialist

Co Pilot

Collections Specialist

College Dean

Colonel

Commanding Officer

Computer Programmer

Concessions Attendant

Crew Member

Criminal

Dance Instructor

Database Administrator

Department Store Associate

Director of Engineering

Disk Jockey

District Court Judge

Dog Walker

Donut Maker

Doorman

Driver

Editor

Engineer

Engineering Manager

Environmental Scientist

Executive Chef

Exhibit Associate

Expeditor

Factory Worker

Financial Analyst

Fire Chief

Firefighter

First Lieutenant

Fitness Instructor

Flight Attendant

Florist

Foot Model

General Manager

Golf Shop Assistant

Grader

Graphic Designer

Grocer

Grocery Bagger

Grocery Store Stocker

Gym Receptionist

Hand Model

Handyman

Head Tech Teacher

Head Waiter

Hotel Front Desk Clerk

Housekeeper

IT Support

Ice Cream Scooper

Insurance Agent

Internal Auditor

Janitor

Jr. Boot Camp Officer

Junior Associate

Junior Sous Chef

Lab Assistant

Laser Tag Attendant

Law Clerk

Lawnmower

Lead Actor

Lead Singer

Legal Secretary Legal Records Manager

Library Aide

Library Assistant

Library Rook

Lieutenant

Lifeguard

Line Cook

Lingerie Model

Lobbyist

Lounge Singer

Lumberjack

Magician

Magistrate

Magistrate Court Judge

Mail Carrier

Mall Kiosk Worker

Mall Santa

Managing Director

Massage Therapist

Microbiologist

Mortician

Mover

Mystery Shopper

Newspaper Delivery Person

Operations Analyst

Patrolman Trooper

Personal Trainer

Personal Trainer

Pet Groomer

Pet Sitter

Pharmacist

Photographer

Pilot

Pilot Trainee Co Pilot

Pizza Maker

Pool Cleaner

Pool Towel Attendant

Porn Set Janitor

Principal

Professor

Psychiatrist

Puppeteer

Real Estate

Receptionist

Research Assistant

Restaurant Manager

Retail Salesperson

Roadkill Remover

Royal (Prince/Princess, Emir/Emira, Baron/Baroness, Viscount/Viscountess, Marquis/Marquise, Duke/Duchess)

Runway Model

Sandwich Maker

Saucier Sous Chef

School Bus Driver

School President

Sculptor

Second Lieutenant

Secretary

Sergeant

Server

Shift Manager

Short Order Cook

Sign Holder

Singer

Social Media Influencer

Social Media Manager

Sous Chef

Sr. Boot Camp Officer

Stockbroker

Street Sweeper

Stuntman

Superintendent

Swim Instructor

Teacher

Teacher's Aide

Tech Teacher

Tour Guide

Translator

Triangle Player

Trucker

Tutor

Usher

Veterinarian

Vice President

Video Game Tester

Violin Player

Voiceover Actor

Window Cleaner

Writer

Yoga Receptionist

YouTuber

[vulpixen]

I thought up an au set in the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon world where the characters of Gravity Falls are pokemon. In the Mystery Dungeon au, I'm not taking the breeding mechanics of the games into consideration, but more on the lines of genetics to determine what pokemon between the parents would be born as.

For example, Stan and Ford's parents are a Perserker (Filbrick) and a Kanto Persian (Caryn) so Stan is born as a Alolan Meowth and Ford a Kanto Persian. Also Shermie born as an Galaran Meowth through Filbrick. Ford has six toes on each paw.

Dipper would be a deerling, and Mabel a skitty because their grandpa Shermie got together with their grandmother, who was a delcatty and had their dad, born a kanto meowth. Him meeting their mom, who would be a sawsbuck.

Dipper and Mabel would build up their own team called Team Mystery that consists of their friends and family members. And Dipper and Mabel get strong over time during their stay in the summer and learn new moves. Dipper as a deerling would be green in fur color because deerling and sawsbuck have a special thing where their fur and antlers change depending on the season.

And I have a list of what pokemon, to me, of what pokemon the characters would be.

Wendy - Dawn form Lycanroc

Marcus - Ursaring

Kevin - Teddiursa

Gus - Teddiursa

Jimmy Snakes - Arbok

Carla McCorkle - Liepard

Soos - Snorlax

Grenda - Snubbull

Candy - Espurr

Gideon - Wooloo

Pacifica - Buneary

Preston - Zoroark

Priscilla - Lopunny

Thompson - Bibarel

Robbie - Scrafty

Tambry - Weavile

Lee - Bolthund

Nate - Manectric

Melody - Audino

Lumberjack Ghost - Trevenant, formerly a ursaring in life.

Lazy Susan - Purugly

Stan - Alolan Persian

Ford - Kanto Persian

Fidds - Shiny Jolteon

Tate - Espeon

Dan - Usaring

Waddles - Shiny Lechonk

Gompers - Gogoat

They're not treated as pets in this au.

Gompers works for Stan, and Waddles is one of Mabel's best friends/adopted brother. Gompers is the groundskeeper and janitor of the Mystery Shack.

Stan pretty much adopted Gompers in this au when he was left behind at the Mystery Shack as a skiddo and stayed at the shack since.

Shifty would be a ditto Ford and Fidds would find abandoned as an egg. Ford adopting him as his son. Shifty is treated better here than in canon.

And thought of Blendin Blandin being a delibird. Him and other time travelers harness the power of Dialga and Celebi from the far future.

[cosmignon]

It's time for the annual "oh god this file is getting too wide" Dice Funk Shardpoint roster round up, since a new episode went up today!

You can really start to see the time passing as my lineweights and style shift slightly over time...

ID: A wide digital illustration of an assortment of fantasty characters from the Dice Funk one-shot series "Shardpoint Academy". From left to right there is an extremely old looking human janitor, a green fairy with an undercut and beetle wings, a bronze robot pouring tea from his finger, a dark skinned woman in fancy western clothes holding a gun, a dark skinned elf with a gnarly scar on her face, a short silver dragonborn in flowing wizard robes, a burly mountain/lumberjack styled human man, a black cat tabaxi woman in a yellow suit with a weasle on her shoulder, a dark skinned centaur man with a suit jacket and blue fur on his horse body, a gnome wearing a reporter hat holding a notebook and pencil, a muscular shirtless human doing arm stretches, a dark skinned halfling with a mohawk holding a potion bottle, a dark skinned dwarf with white hair and a sky/cloud themed dress wearing stilts, and a punk gnome with bright pink hair holding up the rock and roll sign of the devil hand gesture.

[blazichu]

You know what, with the canoe imagery in the first part of Ford’s mind and the line post-game, I can understand how Admiral Cruller is a thing. Given the recreation of the campfire area and the backer trailer, Janitor and Ranger Cruller aren’t too far out there, either.

Chef Cruller, though... I don’t know. The honey pepper boar bacon doesn’t mean anything by itself; that’s just part of his bacon obsession. Compton’s mind tells us that his favorite food was the lumberjack stack, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with being the person cooking. I’m legitimately lost as to where that aspect came from.

[spideysneighbor]

Hello neighbor: the missing Neighborhood tapes : introduction

Hi welcome to Raven Brooks the most friendly town where our Beautiful trees grow and home to the famous candy The Golden Apple it self. You also will have a great time saying hello to your Neighbors like me and my dog skipper 

or even check out the town’s places like the Museum or the doughnut place or the bakery or the lake or the Raven Brooks Banner I mean if you really want to check out that place or read what ever garbage is on those papers. So while you are exploring around the whole place you might get to meet nice people like recently a family who just join our amazing community and they love it here so say hi to the Roth Family.

You see how happy they are well... now their even happier Jay Roth already got a job here and so did Lu Roth as well and you can easily find a job with such ease I mean if they can find a job easily then you can too like working on at local bakery or doughnut place or work as a robotics engineer or lumberjack or fisherman or store clerk or janitor or security guard or even as a police officer no experience or training require it is much better then working as a news reporter or journalist at the Raven Brooks Banner ! And of course the Roth’s had such ease moving here because our movers are paid well and treated fair and yes you heard that right we have our own movers already to move your stuff to your new home we also insure that your safe and sound in your new home.  of course we don’t want you to be lonely of course that why we do indeed ask that you greet your neighbors a perfect example of this is again with the Roth’s because like you were all new to what this wonderful town has to offer take Jay and Lu Roth son for example he made a friend but unfortunately it was a friend who was a nut that made him a nut so make sure your meeting the right people like me so don’t be like Nich- chosen one he is the chosen one he is the key 

-now we do have rules at this town of course these are simple rules that aren’t crazy or super important like.... No pranks No asking questions  No spilling information about our towns history No reading about the coaster accident No going to the golden apple park  No vandalism  No bird costumes No Golden Apple costumes  try not to talk about Miss Yi No making fun of Officer Keith or or Norman or Leslie    No eating Golden Apples try not to talk to Nicholas Roth he a vandal No talking about Lucy Yi  No peeing on a tree cause it our trees not yours No talking about missing people  and of course try not to talk about the Peterson Family

w-el- t RAVEN BROOKS

june 1998 new recording

BANG uh hello is this on okay it on please listen to this don’t turn this off my name is Thomas what you were listening to BANG were was a introduction to Raven Brooks and what the town has to offer or what it makes you believe cause this town is anything but friendly this town is lie that introduction was a lie but what you are listening to is not a lie there has been kids going missing in this town BANG I’m able to use these tapes to record my findings on the missing kids and what truly happen to them but I don’t know for sure on where they are or who has took them but I know this it has to be someone BANG I have seen many weird things while making these tapes but there something you must know...these tapes aren’t in order there all in different order it up to you to figure out these tapes and where they are please find out please find the- BANG BANG BANG 

find them 

[bitmeddler]

Lumberjack!Newt for @k-sci-janitor to accompany a gift fic for the Newmann Secret Santa gift exchange. 

Fic posted on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250673

[redkingkatepryde]

the x-men as tech quotes

The X-Men: Apparently we’re really good at...hitting each other?

Charles Xavier: No, we don’t let people take weapons home.

Erik Lehnsherr: Calculators used to be human, you know...

Scott Summers: We are not explaining kinky sex right now!

Jean Grey: I know where your bread is.

Henry McCoy: Oh, so that’s what’s next to my foot! The saw!

Warren Worthington III: If you hadn’t yelled out “CHAINS,” I would have yelled out “CAW CAW I’M A BIRD!”

Bobby Drake: ARE YOU TRYING TO ASK THAT DOG OUT ON A DATE??

Logan Howlett: Who doesn’t love a porno sing-a-long?

Kurt Wagner: We found him. Janitor Jesus.

Piotr Rasputin: I am disappointed by your lack of common knowledge about lumberjack clothing.

Ororo Munroe: I hope you realize that makes a, uh, sizable lump in your jacket.

Kate Pryde: Who doesn’t want to talk about incest with a bunch of fourteen year olds?

Illyana Rasputin: I will murder your mom.

Emma Frost: I’m sorry, this jacket wasn’t meant for holding bread.

Rogue: Well of course the popular kids, she gave them crack.

Remy LeBeau: He laughed...in French!

Betsy Braddock: No, you should door your girlfriend with your locker.