#mac the guard dog

[justplainwhump]

Mac

A short character intro of some sort, for the character that has lurked in the background of Adrian and Blanca's story since their very first chapter. The sixth guard dog.

[Pet Safety Masterlist]; this piece is referencing [Favor].

Content / warnings: BBU, (indirect) dehumanisation, captivity, briefly referenced/implied noncon.

In the nights in his cell - or kennel, rather, he didn't know why but there was a difference and it made his stomach uneasy - Mac had a lot of time for thoughts. And he used it. He thought about fights, about technique and strategies, about his opponents and their strengths and weaknesses. He thought about winning, about the feeling of triumph, and how stale it was. Like the tasteless, grayish mass that came from a dispenser in the kennel wall, a viscous nutri-shake, that fell into a stainless steel bowl welded to the floor. Victories in his fights were just the same. Bland, insipid, and utterly necessary to survive. 

Mac pulled down the lever and watched more of the nutri-shake fall into the bowl. Sometimes he thought about how long he'd have to hold it down until the room would be flooded. Sometimes he wondered, if the person he'd been before would've known how to calculate it. The pet he was now sure did not. He stared down at the food below him, let himself sink to his knees before he bowed down to eat it. He'd never been further from being a person.

He'd been allowed to eat at a table, real food, with taste and consistency, back at his owner's place. He'd had the others to talk to, Guards, like him. They hadn't been what people called *friends*, he wagered, at least he hadn't actually liked them, but they had existed together, shared a life and the dedication a common goal - to keep their master safe and satisfied. They hadn't been friends, but in lack of better terms, they'd been a pack.

Here, everyone like him was an adversary, who'd fight him to the death the next day or another. And those not like him were the ones who didn't care about if the others died, or Mac did.

It was exhausting. A feeling that wasn't going to bring him anywhere. That was why when Mac had time for thoughts, he didn't think too much about his pack. 

He thought about his owner.

—

Jack Donnell took great pride in his belongings, and that had always included his WRU-trained Guards. Six of them, all of the same height, featuring the same dark hair, same broad shoulders, same mannerisms. He employed a retired WRU Guard handler for some hours a week to make sure the Guards worked like one. He also bought the consulting services of a WRU Romantic Trainer - not for the Guards to be involved directly, but to make them part of intricate designed "scenes" that Mac learned to hate.

Jack wanted to be a ruler, a conqueror, and every once in a while he loved to dress his Pets up in accurate costumes, only to make them submit to him in every scenario possible.

Mac had endured. He'd been a good pet. Until the day a new business partner of Jack's had shown up with his Romantic.

Blanca.

Blanca was petite, with the sort of auburn hair that could look dark brown in one moment and light up like fire in another, with a seductive sway to her hips, full lips that curved into a knowing smile and clothes so tight they left nothing about her curves to the imagination.

Hot, Mac knew he was supposed to think. 

He didn't. 

Please spare her from this, he'd thought instead and closed his eyes. Prayed, almost. As if he knew, how to. 

As if there was a God who'd listen to a pet. No. Their only Gods were their owners.

And while her owner had all but fled the room and left his subject in the hand of another, Mac had stayed by the door, standing at attention, while he watched his master brutalize her.

It took hours.

And after Jack was done, he'd simply smiled to himself, sauntered towards Mac without another look at the broken figure of the Romantic behind him, and patted Mac's cheek. "Good boy," he'd said, and left. 

That moment had been the first in Mac's conscious life, that he'd felt something a Pet was never supposed to feel.

He'd felt hatred. Plain, pure, seething hatred, for the one man he was supposed to love. 

He'd felt it every day since.

-

--

tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @gottawhump @flowersarefreetherapy @whumplr-reader @highwaywhump @tauntedoctopuses @pigeonwhumps @whumppsychology @labgrowndemon @whumpinggrounds @somewhumpyguy @whumpzone @tragedyinblue @theelvishcowgirl

[trophywifemac]

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA S14E06

THE JANITOR ALWAYS MOPS TWICE

[intertexts]

ROSWELL YOU NEEED TO LISTEN TO THE VILLAINS ONESHOT ITS MY FAVORITE ONE IVE LISTENED TO IT LIKE 3 TIMES IT MAKES ME SUCH A SPECIFIC TYPE OF INSANE. DAKOTA COLE (KOTA KILL) GUARD DOG ISMS BUT LIKE TURNED UP TO 12. WILLIAM WIGHT. HEAD IN HANDS. VIRION IS ALSO THERE. I GUESS (SORRY)

YAYAYAYAYYYY IM JUST GONNA START IT NOW...... excitedddddddd :]]]]

[dullahandyke]

Btw I've said this before but I'll say it again. Cú Chulainn was batting two-for-two on gender-filled names. Setanta....

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#88 2 for 1

Farmer!Y/n*Is holding a barrel full of peaches going back and forth collecting the crop to dumping it on the truck, they Got tired of ignoring the two monkies who follow them* why are you following me?...and how did you get pass my guard dog...

Mac: Because we’re dating now

Farmer!Y/n: okay… what about the other monkey boy?

Wukong: we’re a package deal, Sunshine~

Mac: Buy one idiot, get one free

The fearsome guard dog at the moment-

[byelacey]

so you want to keep a great pyrenees as a pet

recently a little comic i made did big numbers on here and i keep seeing tags like "gotta get me a great pyrenees" and like AWESOME there are SO MANY of these big boys looking for adoption, especially in the US but i feel like as a person who got a pyr as their first dog (because i'm insane) there are some things you need to know - they BARK. all day and all night. they've been bred for barking. this is not bond spyxfamily borfing this is LOUD and CONSTANT. barking is their job. working pyrs protect their livestock by looking intimidating, bluff charging and barking very loud. they're also often naturally nocturnal, which means a lot of their barking is done at night. if you're the type who doesn't enjoy loud noises for most hours of the day, reconsider keeping a great pyr as a pet - they are LARGE. they are large when they are hormonal, idiot puppies. their bodies grow VERY FAST but their brain takes 2-3 years to catch up and during that time you've got a 75-150lb puppy on your hands. everything is more expensive because your dog is big, too. beds, accessories, food, vet stuff, medication, grooming, *everything is more expensive* for big dogs. get yourself some pet insurance. you'll thank yourself later. - they're sensitive creatures who form strong bonds with their flock. if you're keeping one as a pet: congratulations, you're now this dog's flock. separation anxiety is huge. they're meant to be guarding their flock, and if you go off without them, they're gonna worry about you. they also don't take well to you shouting at them for doing their job (barking very loud at wayward leaves). i'm serious. they're so so sensitive. - they're extremely smart and independent, which reads as stubbornness to us. they think they know better because they've been bred to work on their own, without humans around to tell them what to do. they're gonna pick up commands really fast, but they do shit on their own time. and recall? forget it. "an off-leash pyr is a dissa-pyr", as the saying goes. this is not a dog you'll be able to have off-leash, as he's gonna do and go wherever he damn well pleases - THAT BEING SAID as they are a large breed dog (extra large, actually), training is extremely important. small untrained dogs can get away with a lot more than a large dog. some people are afraid of dogs. you need to teach your pyr early and often what isn't a threat to you so they aren't causing trouble with their guardian shenanigans - they shed. they drool. they're large, double-coated dogs with big jowls. i have cleaned drool off of every surface of my house, including the ceiling. they blow their coat twice a year and also shed undercoat all of the time. i brush mac once a week during regular season and every other day when he's blowing his coat so that his coat stays healthy and doesn't become impacted or matted. - EDIT: someone just tagged this with a great point as well. you need a lot of space for a pyr! a fenced backyard, at least, with a fence tall enough they can't easily climb over (6ft preferably). they aren't high energy dogs but they do get a lot out of being able to roam around and patrol their yard. they are not apartment dogs (unless you walk them a lot, and you hate your neighbours) admittedly my fenced backyard isn't huge, but mac gets around 2-2.5 hours of walking per day, split between a morning & afternoon walk. they need the mental stimulation of walking around and sniffing stuff! if i haven't scared you off yet, owning a great pyr as a pet is a difficult, but rewarding experience. try and find a breed-specific shelter, there are many, because unfortunately these dogs are overbred in the US (either on purpose or by accident), and they're also often surrendered as puppies because people didn't know what they were getting into. a shelter will also take your lifestyle into consideration when pairing you up with a dog, because they want to find permanent homes for these guys.

anyway i think that's it. and if you have a pyr i am wishing you a very (show me your dog)

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Based on the conversation we had and the fact you mentioned you get things done faster if it's a request. Can I get Sun Wukong and Macaque separately with their glamour accidentally dropping in front of their s/o and them being absolutely drowned in kisses and compliments before they can put their glamour back up?

Kat you know I can't resist this and I loved writing this!!

Sun Wukong + Macaque (separately) with their glamour accidentally dropping in front of their s/o

Sun Wukong

"There's my gorgeous king." You always got genuinely distracted by the beauty of his eyes and how they glowed a crimson color, better than any sunset they'd ever seen. His scars made him look more attractive and you tried to kiss each and every one of them. After minutes of pleading and using puppy dog eyes, you were finally able to convince him to lower his glamours, now fully sitting on his lap and facing your beyond-beautiful lover. Brushing your fingers over his scared chest and loving the shiver that flowed through him at the affectionate touch he wasn’t used to.

A gentle rumble came from his chest and signaled to you that he was enjoying this, cupping his face in your hands and resting your forehead against his. “Such pretty crimson eyes. All for me to adore and love.” Sun leaned into your hands and smiled at you, every bit of him melted at your touch, and couldn’t help the way his tail swayed back and forth. You felt the extra furry appendage thumping on the ground, its gold and brown colors fading into one another from all the battles and burns he’d suffered.

You sweetly kissed his lips and chuckled at his eagerness to return it back. He mumbled how lucky he was to have such an affectionate and caring significant other, one who worshipped every aspect of him; even the features he considered ugly and shameful. “I love you.” Sun’s tail wrapped around your waist and buried his head into your neck, feeling your fingers run through the whitened patches of his fur. “I love you too, peaches.”

Six Eared Macaque

The shadow could barely process what was going on with the mountain of affection being poured onto him. Feeling every spot your lips kissed him and relishing the warmth radiating off of you, still energized from the beach day you had both attended. You had gone back to his place to recharge your social batteries (mostly his) and he’d dragged you into his arms for a nap. Although a persistent thought in your mind had told you it had been too long since your beloved demon let his true features show and one of the ways that successfully convinced Macaque to drop his glamours was showering him in affection and praises of affirmation.

The repeated pecks and hugs had caught him off guard at first, only being able to stare into the space next to you “So pretty.” You whispered and combed fingers through his fur, caressing his now accidentally unglamoured ears and petting the inside of each. The soft fur led into smooth scarred skin around his eye and lighter patches of fur from LBD forcing her power into him, white fur that contrasted his midnight black streaked down his right side. Macaque felt how you worshipped his ears and unconsciously curled his tail around his leg; an anxious tic he'd picked up over time. “Please, Mac. I know keeping up your glamours is tiring but I love seeing you. The you I fell in love with.” The red mask surrounding his eyes seemed to glow as he became flustered and stalled, attempting to find a response or witty comment. He laughed, tail swaying happily and forehead now resting against yours. You felt his hot breath against your lips and ears flutter at your affection, quietly laughing to himself. “You spoil me with affection too much, lotus.”

[rebeltigera]

So rebel!, (it's me again, the one who ask you why Wukong can't chirp or make monkey noises- *cough*), I saw you answered Anon's question, so let me get this straight- All Your Wukong's (expect for Sl! Wukong who you say is a green flag) are a red flag? (Maybe villain Wukong is also a green flag-)

Villain Wukong is an absolute red flag to anyone that isn't Macaque. He's a cannibal, a murderer, a warlord, a power to be feared.

He would not spare a life even if person would beg for it

, he might spare a child up to some age because those are innocent, but most of the time he wouldn't care. Only if he would consider them the level of cubs. If not- it's sort of mercy.

To Mac... He's like a big guard dog. Very fluffy n snuggly one.

The others?

Well , wukong from P! Mac's au left his husband for a 1000 yr chained with a witch inside him and didn't try to help him, Blind!Mac's Wukong well, blinded him , and overall maybe he wasn't such a jerk but it's enough to make him a red flag , you do not hurt your love that way.

Do I forgot ab anyone? Sorry I just woke up

[loverofstufflof]

36 Questions Shadowpeach AU

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT—

Okay now we got a mood set

I keep hearing them… when listening to the OST… and I blacked out…

(36 Questions is a musical about an estranged couple trying to repair their relationship by meeting each other all over again, for those who don’t see the vision)

Some minor character assignments I’ve decided on:

FFM monkeys as Henry (the duck)

Xiaotian Quan (Erlang Shen’s dog) as the “golden retriever” Jase petsits when meeting Natalie

Camel Ridge Trio as Natalie’s parents (in terms of plot device, not… you know…)

Celestial guards as “men in suits”

The Not Mayor as Lisa (Jase’s ex-wife)

Bai He as Cooper (Jase’s kid)

And special shoutout to the biggest character assassination: Ruyi Jingu Bang, for being demoted to the phone Judith records everything on, because how else am I meant to represent the catalyst for everything going wrong?

Not sure who to assign Jase’s moms as, so if anyone has any suggestions, I’m happy to hear em. Give me the dumbest ideas you can think of!

Really just all of the fucked up past Judith talks about I’m replacing with Wukong’s Havoc in Heaven; makes things easier.

A lot of the established LMK timeline is gonna be a skewed a bit to fit in with the 36 Q plot. Mac and Shi Hou meet after the Journey, not before, and Shi Hou lies about his name to not be associated with his past self, because redemption! We all know how that ends up, though

[slocumjoe]

Companions on social media

Cait; Posts gym thirst traps and videos of her working out or getting into fistfights. Can be found in the comments and DMs of women, gay or otherwise. Lots of activity in sobriety and self-help communities. Doesn’t have a lot of followers, but does fundraiser streams for a week every three months she's sober. The money goes to child abuse prevention foundations. Her most recent charity streams had her trying to get all achievements on Just Dance after someone donated 10k requesting it.

Codsworth; self-help videos for people struggling to take care of themselves. How to tidy up, how to take effective breaks, what needs to be cleaned in a house and what supplies you need...very useful, very popular with college students and teens. Once posted a video of him going at wasps with a chainsaw and gained a million subs overnight.

Curie; children's educational YouTube channel that's, somehow, more popular with young adults. Science experiments gone wrong. Think Jackass and Mythbusters hosted by a tiny French woman who approaches everything with the joy and whimsy of My Little Pony. Her most popular videos are her 100k subscriber specials, a series where she goes ghost and cryptid hunting to disprove them and demonstrate the fraudulence you can find behind such things.

Danse; has a Facebook for work purposes. It has a profile photo only because Haylen insisted. Fears the internet deeply, thinks its the closest humanity can get to staring into the void and seeing something blink. Unbeknownst to him, there's a viral video of him teaching a workout regimen to trainees. The comment sections are pure thirst. All of his coworkers know and made an oath to never speak of it.

Deacon; Is the one who snuck into training and got that video. Posted it to r/NextFuckingLevel with 🥵🥵🥵 for a caption. Owns several large meme accounts, all with distinct personalities and lives. Someone tried to dox him after suspicions, but found all accounts had different IPs and info. He's just that good. His Facebook changes profile photo every. Single. Day. He consumes an absurd amount of audio books. Drops CRAZY money on charity streams to make the host do weird shit, like 100% Just Dance. Probably sells feet pics.

Dogmeat; The internet's darling. Nick Valentine's dog who doesn't help with catching bad guys, but with far more important things; Dogmeat cuddles and plays with victims at the scene or in court. Also trained in search and rescue. Much of Dogmeat's page is just Nick sharing important information (hotlines, self-defense, survival tips, et cetera) while petting or playing with Dogmeat. Kind of a McGruff the Crime Dog vibe.

Gage; Facebook that he uses to cyberbully cop pages and Craigslist to offer his...unconventional services (pretending to be your boyfriend at family gatherings to cause drama). His pet lizard, an Argentine Tegu, has an Instagram with 3k followers. The Tegu often wins pet competitions and Gage posts the awards captioned with 🖕🏻💚🦎💚🖕🏻. Works at an amusement park, posts tell-all confessions on Reddit.

MacCready; Facebook with friends and family, posts a lot of Duncan. His YouTube history is videos for Duncan. Lots of Curie's videos. Mac has a Craigslist and LinkedIn, does odd jobs when he isn't working as a security guard at a shooting range. Activite in communities about comics, shows, and video games. Sometimes he'll post a theory about a show or comic and he's usually right. Really enjoys the meltdowns of fandoms when the media takes a nasty turn, even if he's also betrayed.

Nick; Ellie runs Dogmeat's page, Nick just does the talking. As for Nick himself, has some pages for his work (that Ellie also manages) and a Facebook profile to stay in touch with friends and family. Much like Danse, consumes media offline—except for poetry. Most of his screen time is spent on Poetry.com, one of those people that leave comments. He likes how the internet makes information and art accessible. Very peaceful and wholesome internet time.

Hancock; The void that Danse is scared of. Also does streams, but not only for fundraisers. Streams high. Streams himself trying to find his way back to his apartment late at night. Always end up in a fast food joint, trying to convince the workers to unionize. Twitter shitposter until a politician needs cyberbullying. Organizes protests. Extremely active in Massachusetts' political scene, his fans are a force to be reckoned with. Has fistfought his own fans before. Occasionally cancels himself to prove a point. Makes mock apology videos whenever another celeb/influencer fucks up.

Preston; Park ranger and community organizer. Uses Facebook and TikTok to appeal to all ages. Is unfairly good at TikTok dances. Posts safety tips, upcoming event information, etc. Does a lot of work with Dogmeat and Nick. Posts bodycam footage of him arresting people, like shutting down fire-themed gender reveal parties, or poachers. Not a lot of followers, but the bodycam footage goes viral on subreddits like r/Instant_Karma.

Piper; a journalist and blogger. Posts videos of her political rants and makeup/hair routine. Joins Hancock in politician cyberbullying. Makes commentary essays and videos, sometimes book reviews. Appears on podcasts. Her media presence is decently known, but mild. She tries to keep herself distant from it. Despite this, has a good-sized following who appreciate the lack of parasociality. Her most famous video is her trying to find the best coffee spots in Boston.

X6-88; security guard for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who got stuck running the Twitter when the last guy got arrested on weed charges. Piper keeps DMing for an interview and he keeps blocking her accounts. He has LinkedIn for work. Half of it is redacted and involves NDAs. No other media presence except for one thing; he's an infamous esports cryptid. Across a few different shooter games, a high-rank player called X6-88 (its just his first initial and the numbers on his security badge) fucking curbstomps everyone in the match. He has never died or missed a shot. Never speaks in chat, never in team chat. He's a legend among gamers. For him, he's just relaxing on a Friday night, keeping his senses sharp. Doesn't realize there are compilation videos of streamers raging at him.

[py-dreamer]

Oh! It's Mac(aroni)-learns-the-consequences-for his-actions o'clock!: the AU

To my marshiemallows who saw my other post, no this isn't the part two I was talking about

(it's coming dw! ...I am going to roast those fics over a pit like a rotisserie chicken...)

but this is some more Ma-caca slander so if you're into that...

"get in loser we're going to yell into some all hearing (but terrible at listening) ears"

(DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Macaque as a character, he is well written in the show imo

This is a call-out to those who think he's just a victim and excuse his crimes in the show, in lore and make him the "uwu soft boi who needs to be protected at all cost who everyone loves including all of Wukong's subjects apparently"

and make Wukong the "selfish narcissist who's a lazy good for nothing, a monster who killed Mac for funsies then cried for centuries afterward without his waifu, doesn't deserve anything good, everyone hates him for good reason, he kills puppies on a daily bas-"

yea you get the point)

I know there're some AUs where there's an artifact that can change time or transport you into a different dimension

Yea so y'know what, let Macaque get his hands on one of them, mid battle with the monkie kids.

They tell him to calm down and give the artifact back but Mac gets pissy about an earlier conversation with Wukong.

About how he made a shrine to honor his pilgrim brothers and Mac gets mad.

He tells Wukong that it's been centuries since they've died so why doesn't he let them go and Wukong of course gets pissed too.

Then Mac-aroni bursts at him why there was nothing for the brotherhood or DBK when he sealed him or when he died

He adds some extra insults for flavor then leaves (as usual) without giving the monkey king to give his perspective and cuss him out

Back to the present, Mac decides to alter the timeline just a wee bit...

"Tang Sanzang was killed by the six eared Macaque during their first encounter"

Then we see this new world...but it's not all happy like Macaque hoped

First off, the journey was to retrieve holy scriptures from India which would help to cleanse the east apparently. But it was also because of the journey a lot of corruption was stopped (eg slow cart kingdom with its policy on Buddhism, kingdom of women and the demon guarding the abortion spring, the demon who overthrew the black river god, kidnappings in general)

So yea if it was cut short, a lot of that corruption would still be in power.

With most of the human population being overtaken by humans or corrupt kings or busy being eaten or courtnapped, yea society could not evolve. It stays mostly stagnant, so a lot of technology hasn't been invented yet and most humans (particularly lower class) are doing worse for wear.

But it wasn't his fault; it was the society and humans for being to weak to upturn itself.

Mac sees them, doesn't really care and goes off to find Wukong because hey, he's curious

However he finds the Camel Ridge trio instead and we know what kinda happened in that town.

The surrounding area is dry and barren because all the life is being sucked out of it. Heck, its probably even more arid cause the trio's reign has lasted for centuries.

They all welcome Macaque with open arms asking him where he's been and they haven't heard of him since the monk's murder.

The trio thank Mac since they heard how the monk had Wukong on a leash and how he was no more than a guard dog and they were worried that he'd make the monkey king reign his wrath on the city if they ever crossed and without him, the journey never continued and there was no encounter

He's disturbed by the friends he once loathed and fought welcoming him with open arms and owed their success to his actions.

But it wasn't his fault for their corruption, it was their city and their choices, someway or another karma will get them probably...maybe...

Since without the journey, the brotherhood never would've ended up in the ink scrolls

"Its a shame Wukong and Brother Bull can't join us"

Mac asks what they mean and where DBK was.

He learns the demon bull family were in mourning.

You see, without the pilgrims and more importantly, Sanzang and Wukong present, the sealing of the samahdi fire probably wouldn't have went the same.

They couldn't find anyone available who'd survive the flames so DBK, PIF and Nezha had to try it themselves...and were sadly unsucessful

The infant's power caused mass destruction, many deaths, injured both his parents greatly...

...and ultimately led the child to an early grave.

Leaving the clan and couple devastated for years to come.

But it still wasn't his fault: it was just due to unfortunate circumstances!

Macaque, disturbed by this leaves without saying goodbye, goes to flower fruit mountain to check on its status. Since without having to continue the journey, surely the monkey king would be basking in the sun with his subjects happily gorging themselves on fruit-

Only he comes back to a total wasteland.

As a consequence of letting the monk be killed and failing his chance at redemption, heaven punished Sun Wukong and he was never seen again (much to Mac's surprise).

But not only that, it seemed the gods took their rage out on Flower fruit mountain as well. This was the 2nd time it was burned but now they made sure to finish the job, every last tree engulfed in flames.

Without the monkey king coming back to save them, all the inhabitants were at risk of the burning and any left who fled to the mainland were captured and sold, starved or hunted and eaten. There were no survivors.

Upset by his discovery, Macaque was filled with rage at the king. How dare he not take care of their home, he failed as a friend but now as a king too. So he snuck into heaven to find out his location to find answers and yell at him.

It wasn't his fault their home was destroyed. That was Wukong's duty as king! He failed his subjects and he must pay

A tear filled Macaque snuffs through heaven's files as even he couldn't find the location of Sun Wukong's prison.

He learns that Nezha after failing to seal the fire, got terribly burned in the process probably crippling him and causing mass destruction to many nearby towns and minor gods had been cast out of heaven.

Some of the guilt started weighing in on him but he put that aside, because of course it wasn't his fault; the god was just too weak and shouldn't have stuck his nose into other's business.

And finally, the main course we've all been waiting for: confronting Wukong.

He's back under 5 phases mountain but this time with many more locks and security cautions. Macaque learns nobody had heard from the king in a 1000 years.

He finds the king and screams at him that it was his fault how FFM was now a desolate dessert devoid of life.

But to his surprise, the king laughs.

The king laughs maniacally, practically howling with laughter but with crazed eyes like a madman.

"I assume you'll blame me for 'abandoning' you too?"

He rips into Macaque about how they always swore to stay by each others side but the moment things get ugly Mac will always save his skin. And asks where was he for him through all this.

Not during the battle vs heaven.

Not during his trials.

Not during his imprisonment.

Not when he asked him to go back and leave the pilgrims alone.

Not when heaven pointed fingers at him that the monk's murder was his fault.

Not when FFM was destroyed and Wukong didn't learn until some heavenly officials told him years later as they fed him metal pellets and molten iron.

Even now, the only reason he came was to complain.

(I imagine a lil conversation to go like this:

Macaque: They abused you! They didn't free you!!

Wukong: WELL NEITHER DID YOU!!!!

Macaque:...

Wukong:...neither did you...)

Then Mac decides to ask what the pilgrims did afterward and bet they all ran off too...how wrong he was

(Macaque: Then where are your 'pilgrim' brothers now? Why aren't they here to help you the-

Wukong: they're gone

Macaque: what..?

Wukong: They're gone...They're gone...gone...DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID THEY'RE GONE!!!

Macaque: but how...

Wukong: after you fled the scene, the heavenly officials came to detain me....hahahah...I was caught in that diamond snare again and Ao Lie jumped in to defend me.

Macaque: but I thought...

Wukong: I was so distraught, I couldn't do anything...They said that it was also their fault master was dead so they'd better stay quiet if they wanted to lessen their sentence....hahahah...I watched them all die one by one Macaque...

Macaque:...

Wukong:...they all defended me...even the goddamn pig... And do you know where that lead them? They all died...Liu'er...they're dead...I WATCHED MY BROTHERS DIE IN FRONT OF ME FOR DEFENDING ME...I DID NOTHING LIU'ER...DO YOU KNOW WHERE AZURE AND THE OTHERS ARE NOW? I'M SURE THEY'RE PARTYING AND LEAVING ME TO ROT. MEANWHILE MY BROTHERS GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR A USELESS MONKEY. I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SUBJECTS...OR SANZANG...THE GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A SINGLE HUMAN...ALL THAT TIME, TRAINING, USELESS!! SO SURE...BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT!!!! COME ON!!!!

Macaque: God, you've really gone mad...)

I want this man to meet his inner demons or someone able to slap him around to just really remind him of the consequences to his actions maybe some ink scroll action.

Just basically:

And maybe if I'm feeling nice we get a happy ending, Mac reverses the spell or something and perhaps says something nice to Wukong for once.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how the timeline would change, do tell I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

@furornocturna might be reminding Mac-adoodledoo of his crimes to the monkie kids in the present but I'm taking him for a roadtrip to the past

(or other present...time travel is complicated y'all)

(Again I recommend 'Fractured pieces make a mosaic' on Ao3.

I shall call them my partner in crime for Mac-caca bullying if they shall so let me have the honors...also @nightmarebunnyking...they also do good slander

No I will not stop advertising their work. Cause it's good outside of the slander, Wukong is very affectionate, we love that for him and MK collects dads like pokemon cards

also kinda want opinions on more ole'Mac-doodle had denial. E I E I O

I propose we gather in a circle and beat him with a stick

...pls interact its 1 am rn)

Also fun fact this is my 2001st post so uhh...yay..?

[justplainwhump]

6, 7 and 8 for mac pretty please <3

Thank you so much Amie, for loving Mac!

Cw for a lot of self hatred, human weapon whumpee, conditioning, forced to fight, forced to hurt.

6) when was the last time you cried?

He frowns the slightest bit at the question, pauses for a moment or two to give you the chance to correct your question.

"I don't cry," he says eventually. "I protect, I fight, I obey. We follow orders. Not emotions."

There is an odd rasp to his voice though. He's not lying, right? Waking up from a nightmare with traces of dried salt on his cheeks is not crying. It's not about real things, anyway.

7) when was the last time you laughed?

Something changes in his face, a smile lights up and is buried under a frown just as quickly. "Blanca," he says. "Not the Chewtoy, the old her. Who she was before... Before she was sent back. It was... it was not a good moment, I... Jack had made me do things, and,..." He swallows. "She shouldn't have been happy. Probably wasn't. But there were just the two of us, and - she cracked a joke in the most impossible moment. I looked at her, and there was something sparking in her eyes, that I..." He grimaces. "False memories. But... good. And then she laughed, and I had to laugh, too, and I think she hurt, but... For a moment there, the hurt didn't matter, you know?" His hands ball into fists, and his face darkens. "It was good. But those like me? We don't deserve good. And we sure don't get to keep it."

8) does something hurt right now? what is it?

"Everything." He smirks. "Life at the arena means pain. Pain means, I'm not dead yet. Is that good? Would it be better, without the pain?" Mac gives you a half-shrug. "I don't know. Don't need to. That's someone else's call to make."

[amusingmusie]

lingering on the thought of nel being in the hazbin hotel with alastor for more than five seconds tickles me so much because all i can think about is just How she got there

because it does seem to me she has no interest in being there so the conclusion my head comes to is that right after the pilot alastor immediately just rockets across the whole city at mac 20 to drag a Very Disoriented Nel back to the hotel

all the while yapping her ear off about some Fascinating New Project he has so Graciously lent his Services to.

None of which actually registers in poor nel's mind at first because it just so happened that she got whisked away while she was in the middle of giving her lunch order to a particularly hard of hearing waiter

the prospect just tickles me so much theyr so silly

THIS IS FOR FUN ONLY AND NOT CANON TO YOURS TRULY

Strained Introductions

It’s going to be so amusing to watch this ridiculous hotel go up in flames. 

Alastor smiles smugly to himself, tapping his claws along the head of his trusty microphone as he studies the chaos surrounding him. After a sound lunch of his mother’s classic jambalaya, he’s content to sit back and watch the others face the aftermath of today’s immense excitement. 

The princess and her little attack dog are exchanging shushed words in the corner of the lobby, foolishly believing that he can’t hear a word about their argument concerning his freshly established presence in the building. Husker has already drunk himself under the bar much to the disappointment of that rather womanly spider who’s been adjusting his pectoral floof and preparing for incessant flirtations. Niffty, darling Niffty, is the only one doing anything slightly useful; she’s been speedily scooping debris and rubble into a trash bag for easy disposal.

A trash bag. 

Of course- oh, he’s forgotten something terribly important! How could he be so foolish? With a crackle of static that draws all eyes to him, Alastor adjusts his bowtie and pats down his hair to ensure it’s perfect as always. A quick twirl of his staff and he taps over to the front door, giving a quick, parting bow.

“Excuse me, but I have an errand of utmost importance to run- I’ll return shortly!”

The royal guard, Vaggie as she insists on being called, glares at him. “No vuelvas, pendejo.”

“How sweet.” A faded, crackling laugh track punctuates his statement. “Try your best not to miss me while I’m gone. Ta-ta, chums!” 

Shadows encircle him and swallow his spindly form whole, leaving no trace of the Radio Demon behind.

////

“I said cherry.”

“This is cherry.”

“No, it’s not.” Nel pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs deeply in exasperation. “I’ve been telling you for ten minutes that it’s fucking strawberry, and I do not want the strawberry. I’m asking for cherry.”

“Whatever, Karen.”

“What? What the fuck does that mean?” she snaps at the exhausted worker, only barely keeping her temper in check. 

When he flips her off and disappears from behind the bakery counter into a backroom, she clenches her fists with a pissy growl, not giving two shits if her talons threaten to slice into her palms. Nel promptly decides fuck it, stomps around the counter, and snatches up a slice of cherry pie for herself.

She still throws a few bills down on the counter, though. Old habits die hard.

The buzzing begins first. Nel’s skin crawls as the sensation of pinpricks washes over her, an unfortunately familiar fuzzy hum growing louder and louder in her ears shortly afterwards. The flashing smiles come next, along with distant whispers, full body chills, and a tug on her heart.

Goddammit.

She glares at the bakery door right as Alastor manifests in front of it with an accompanying audience cheer.

“Hello, sweetheart!” He wastes no time in snatching her up around her waist and squishing her dangerously near his less than fresh smelling armpit. “We must be off! I have the most hilarious, pathetic thing to show you!”

“Your picture?”

The loud boo doesn’t deter her from smirking. The shadowy tendril that snatches up her pie does.

“No, my gangrenous toe, the Hazbin Hotel! We have front row seats to its inevitable demise. Think of all the failures we’ll get to witness! The struggling souls clinging to the foolhardy idea of redemption, their inevitable fall back into the pit of despair- ah, it’ll be great fun!”

“Wait, Alastor, did you get your ass involved with that goddamn, idiotic scam? You just came back-”

“Ah ah, we are involved!”

“What? WHAT? No the hell we are not-!”

The bakery is ripped away and replaced by fading carpet, peeling wallpaper, and five idiots staring at the swirl of shadows occupying the center of the hotel lobby. Once the darkness fades, Alastor stands alone with a giddy grin on his gray face. There’s a beat, and then Nel falls in from the fleeting shadows, landing flat on her face with her wings awkwardly flattened around her. 

Angel Dust peeks over, mutters, “Eh, it’s a chick. Fat ass though,” then returns to scrolling on his phone. 

“Alastor, who the fuck is this?” Vaggie doesn’t waste a moment on beginning her tirade, temper flaring now that another uninvited addition to the hotel has appeared. 

“Nobody who is overly important! Sweetheart, mind your manners and say hello.”

Nel grunts and picks her head up off of the floor. “Shut your ugly mouth.”

That less than kind response has Vaggie starting up again as Charlie desperately tries to calm her down. Nel doesn’t interrupt; for all she cares, this girl can bite Alastor’s head off and she won’t stop her. The blonde one- the princess, she remembers- tries to say something to her, but chooses to play damage control instead when a spear is held to Al’s throat.

A little skitter reaches Nel’s attention, and she sits up, turning to the side to face Niffty.

“Hiya, Nelly! Killed any good bugs lately?”

“No.”

“Aw.” Her red eye expands eerily and her smile grows. “Read any real good steamy stories lately?”

“...Come find me later, Niff. We’ll bump gums.”

“‘Kay!” Niffty skitters off as Nel chooses to continue to block out the ranting at her side. Well, if Alastor has Niffty running around this dump, then that means one of his other favorite unfortunates to torment can’t be too far away. 

“Husk?”

A single clawed middle finger raises from over the top of the bar.

“Yeah, fuck you too, asshole.”

Finally, finally, Princess Charlotte manages to extend a hand out to her. Apprehensively, Nel takes it, not quite able to remain as pissy as usual in the face of this obvious kindness. 

“Welcome to the Happy- uh, Hazbin Hotel!” she chirps, beaming widely and so genuinely that it has Nel’s anger withering even further. “We are so excited to have you join us and begin your path to redemption! Okay, so, right now we only have Angel Dust staying as a resident here, so we have a ton of empty rooms, fully customizable-!” 

Nel holds up a hand, and sighs. “Sorry, but I’m not interested in checking in.”

“Oh, well, um, if you’re a worker of Alastor’s, then we can-”

“Worker? Please, he wishes.” 

“Then what are you-?”

“Don’t fret about it!” Alastor interrupts, butting in by physically shoving himself between the two women as Vaggie settles next to her girlfriend. “Nelly is here with me under my protection, and that is that! She’ll stay by my side, and handle my business.”

Talk about her personal circle of Hell.

“Ah, I almost forgot!” Alastor snaps his fingers, and the abandoned piece of pie lands neatly on Nel’s curly head, splattering her with red filling. “There we are.”

Nel reaches up, sticks her finger into the pie, then brings it to her nose to smell. Strawberry. 

What a great start to her waking nightmare.

[kitofawriter]

Thinking about my Guard Dog AU again (Macaque listens to MK during the shadow play episode instead of fighting him, then vows to make sure the kid doesn’t feel left behind like he was and basically becomes like a guard dog jumping out of the shadows whenever help is needed) but more importantly I’m thinking about how much it would INFURIATE SWK.

Like MK comes to FFM for training and Wukong’s excited until he can feel Mac hiding in the shadows, and it’s like that every time for weeks. After a while Mac starts feeling comfortable enough to speak up from the shadows. It startles MK because he actually didn’t know Mac was hiding in his shadow (he isn’t always, just when MK’s training because he wants to be able to step in if Wukong does something wrong). Cue monkeys fighting while MK tries to figure out how long Macaque has been there, hopefully he wasn’t there while MK was singing ABBA songs the whole trip to FFM (he was, it took everything in him not to sing along)

[hyunpic]

list of songs hyunjin has played on his lives/recommended:

note: im probably missing some & i couldn’t put links to all of them cause apparently tumblr has a link limit 🤨

lauv: julia, lonely eyes, invisible things, paris in the rain, never not, im so tired, the story never ends, i like me better

offonff: photograph, cigarette (ft. miso & tablo), dance, bath

beyoncé: crazy in love (remix)

billie eilish: i love you, &burn, idontwannabeyouanymore, ocean eyes, before i go, tv

honne: day1, la la la that’s how it goes

christina perri: a thousand years

shawn mendes: mercy, treat you better, in my blood

dvwn: phobia

dpr live: jam & butterfly

jehwi: dear moon

leehi: rose

bts: dna, waste it on me, make it right

colde: where love begins, string (ft. sunwoojunga), the museum, wa-r-r, your dog loves you (ft. crush), control me, a song nobody knows, im in love

got7: miracle, hard carry

justin bieber: lonely

josef salvat: call on me

taemin: criminal

night off: sleep

sam kim: make up (ft. crush), like a fool, sunny days summer nights

niki: lowkey

iu: the visitor, lullaby, knees, love poem, give you my heart, my sea

cha ni: starlight

sia: snowman

akmu: happening

sunwoojunga: run with me

the black skirts: everything

korea cracker: ocean (ft. hoyeon kim)

cosmic boy: can i love?

penomeco: no.5 (ft. crush)

yerin baek: blooming memories, limit

10cm: so…., however

day6: i’ll try, love me or leave me, when you love someone, you were beautiful, congratulations, zombie, days gone by, afraid

dean: d (half moon), instagram, what 2 do, bonnie & clyde

exo: first snow, the eve, love shot

sam fischer: this city

jukjae: do you want to walk with me?, lullaby

ph-1: nerdy love (ft. yerin baek), as i told you

baekhyun: love again, un village

amine: blackjack

young k: come as you are, guard you

flume: say it (ft. tove lo)

twice: dance the night away, fancy

ariana grande: thank u, next

hajin: we all lie

about: it has to be you

caroline says: winter is cold

h.e.r: u, wait for it

bol4: to my youth

monday kiz: winter is as i wished

paul kim: the road, additional

sweden laundry: the winter

jung seung hwan: in that winter

chungha: gotta go

zion.t: no make up, snow

airman: gloomy star, i’ll be your spring (ft. j_ust)

motte: dont run away

seventeen: a-teen, super

khalid: location

lukas graham: 7 years

imagine dragons: believer

bo kyung kim: dont think you are alone

jung ilhoon: spoiler (ft. babylon)

davichi: falling in love, 이 사랑

coldplay: everglow, viva la vida

lyn: my destiny

jus2: focus on me, long black, senses (jpn version)

crush: beautiful, you and i

ed sheeran: lego house, perfect, photograph, beautiful people

croosh: why

20 years of age: x

tori kelly: paper hearts

seulgi: always

luna: do you love me? (ft. george)

wisue: someone’s shining

epik high: eternal sunshine

jp saxe: if the world was ending

seori: fairy tale

bruno mars: marry you

the weeknd: earned it, die for you

jung seunghwan: its raining, an ordinary day, dear

sam tinnesz: play with fire

post malone: motley crew

jihyo: stardust love song

kim feel: your voice

sung sikyung: solar system, heejae

younha: stardust

wonpil: a journey

taeyeon: invu, some nights, toddler, drawing our moments

nct dream: boom

ha hyunsang: 3108

huhgak: memory of your scent

se so neon: nan chun, a long dream, midnight train, stranger

umi: remember me

tvxq!: mirotic

johnny balik: honey

red velvet: psycho

new jeans: hype boy

christian kuria: losing you

cigarettes after sex: k. , each time you fall in love, sunsetz, apocalypse

dpr ian: nerves, no blueberries, 1 shot

samm henshaw: broke

woodz: drowning

kelly clarkson: underneath the tree

kimmuseum: to you who cant sleep

taylor swift: betty

lana del rey: young and beautiful

harry styles: watermelon sugar, she

pink sweat$: honesty

masego: tadow

olivia rodrigo: vampire

troye sivan: youth, for him

kai: mmmh

2pm: my house

oasis: wonderwall, hey now

mac miller: that’s on me, everybody

nothing but thieves: amsterdam

bren joy: sweet

back number: i love you

mac ayres: next to you, roses

daniel caesar: blessed, ocho rios, get you (ft. kali uchis), take me away (ft. syd), do you like me?, disillusioned

green day: dilemma

puma blue: already falling

bruno major: nothing, easily, places we won’t walk, the most beautiful thing, old soul

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#91 Needy boys

Mac: What am we supposed to do all day while you're at the farmers market?...

Farmer!Y/n:...I dont know? What do you two normally do when im gone?

Wukong*Sniffing and tears up,holding your guard dog for support*Wait for you to get back...(づ•́ ᵔ •̀)づ

Part 2 of :