#made me feel not as lonely

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[neonbuck]

you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

[glrlafraid]

why is being a young butch kind of the most isolating feeling ever

[signanothername]

Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle

This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)

A bit of context under readmore

[kickedin17]

Regional at Best is so special because it feels so exactly like what it is, which is an album made by a young person, younger than I am now, who'd given up everything else to make this dream work and probably had no idea what the hell he was going to do if it didn't. Keep working a normal job? Go back to college? What do you do if the dream doesn't work, when you're an early-20-something who (like all early-20-somethings) has precisely nothing else figured out? What do you do if everyone's right and the art isn't worth it?

Then your bandmates leave. But actually, it turns out perfect anyway, because you end up with this other guy who also has precisely nothing else figured out and no plan B except to be in this very band with you. How rare and precious of a thing that is, to meet someone who believes in your art just as much as you do. At least if you fail you fail together, right?

I think RAB feels like the end of summer and growing pains because it exists in that same itchy, anxious space as your last summer before you graduate high school/college, when it begins hitting you that there will never be a summer like this again because next year you're supposed to be grown up. But the truth is you never figured out how to grow up and you never figured out how to stop dreaming. So many people have to learn that lesson for various reasons, but Tyler and Josh never did because they believed in it so much that I think it truly never could've failed. Even if they never got as big as they did w/ Blurryface, I think they never could've failed because they are for the dreamers.

Self-titled is complicated and beautiful and core to everything else they would do after, but RAB is the beating heart of what tøp was always meant to be imo. It's embracing the fear of getting older because you have no other choice, while acknowledging you're still a little afraid of the dark. It's a night light for the grown-ups who are still scared of long dark hallways they can't see the end of (and work email chains). You turn 23 and discover you probably don't actually want to die as much as you used to, and also that you still think pokémon cards are fucking rad, and both of those things are okay. And maybe you'll never get out of this goddamn town but it never hurts to dream

[elvisqueso]

Pocahontas refusing to confide in Nakoma.

Pocahontas (1995)

rambling lil' meta under the cut

i've been thinking a lot about pocahontas's relationship with nakoma and what kind of friends they really are in the context of the film. when we meet them both, pocahontas is elevated and nakoma is in a boat far below her, shouting up to reach her. i think nakoma is always reaching for pocahontas and pocahontas will only reach back sometimes. it's a pretty unbalanced friendship, when you look at it, and i wonder why nakoma remains the main point of contact in the community for pocahontas besides her father. perhaps it's because they're similar ages. maybe they're childhood friends who just got so used to each other that the one may take the other for granted.

pocahontas never confides in nakoma, and you gotta wonder why. even their first interaction has pocahontas demurring when she answers that she was up on the cliff thinking. thinking about what? She doesn't say, but she doesn't refute nakoma's assumptions.

and nakoma...what does she get out of this friendship? maybe she's just used to trailing after pocahontas this way, maybe she just doesn't have another friend, or she thinks pocahontas needs her.

nakoma is sort of a foil for thomas, who trails after john smith like a starry-eyed fanboy with an intense para-social relationship perspective. nakoma also is the active participant in the friendship, not pocahontas. nakoma fills in the gaps of their relationship with assumptions and guesswork, because pocahontas is so reticent, so hesitant to share of herself that nakoma Has to. and when pocahontas's seclusion goes too far, when she fails to confide in nakoma some of the most essential elements of what she intends, nakoma has to fill in the gaps again. and when she does it's Not Good, and her solution is to send their strongest warrior (a man with affection for pocahontas, who might keep her secrets if she needs him to) to try and save her friend. and then it all blows up in their faces and a man lies dead in the water for it.

every relationship in the movie is so tragic like brO—

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Suspirium - Thom York

[revacholian-girl-utena]

I guess you could say we believe it *because it’s impossible*.

Alt text: Frames from the finale of Revolutionary Girl Utena with overlaid text.

1: Prince Dios lounges on the ground, looking disinterested. Text reads: YOU — "They think their success is a given."

2: The same shot from another angle, showing Akio mirroring Dios as he looks on with a fruity drink nearby. Text reads: "Yes."

3: Anthy bites her knuckle, tears in her closed eyes, looking torn. Text reads: "Whereas we understand"

4: Utena lying crumpled on the ground as the million swords bear down on her. Text reads: "that we'll almost certainly fail,"

5: Utena and Anthy's outstretched hands touching. Utena's hand is visibly bloody. Text reads: "which is what allows us the chance to succeed." End alt text.

[pro-memoriia]

Self indulgent angst/comfort with Phantom and Rain because I can

CW: Overthinking, insecurities, crying, fear of abandonment if you squint, Phantom is a Batman nerd

Phantom hates his insecurities. He hates his anxieties. His worries, his fears, his self deprecating thoughts... He hates everything that makes him feel hated.

He can help it, of course. It's how he thought all his life. He doesn't appreciate it by any means. He thinks it's absurd how some people find comfort in pain; he never understood it. And it always pained him whenever his thoughts ate him alive, and whenever he was locked away in his bedroom, crying and over thinking.

Phantom could feel his heartbeat quickening and his eyes start to sting. He paced the room with quick steps, not caring about getting wood splinters in his socks or getting dizzy from walking in consistent circles.

He was scared. Scared that everyone hated him. He was sensitive and took the smallest things to heart, which never led to anything good for him.

It had started in practice. That slightly off tone from Mountain, who has been grouchy from a lack of sleep and sex. That tone that had cut through him like a knife as soon as Mountain opened his mouth to speak to the smaller ghoul.

That was just the start.

He felt invisible to Swiss. The multi had promised to have a Nolanverse Batman trilogy marathon with him, but things didn't seem to go to plan.

As soon as Phantom had walked up to the ghoul, he was crowded by his other pack mates. Swiss was distracted and didn't spare Phantom another glance.

Dew was having guitar troubles; he couldn't get the instrument to tune for the life of him. Phantom tried to help, but he was only met with bared fangs and a slap on the wrist.

Sunny and Cumulus went off on a date, and Phantom felt it would be inconvenient to bother them.

Cirrus, Aurora, and Swiss had all gone to one of their bedrooms for some.. Intimate times.

Phantom was lost. He had nowhere to go now. All his pack mates were angry with him or ignoring him. He was the last priority. He was alone.

So after a tense walk to his bedroom, he just broke.

Now, he was conflicted. He couldn't go get comfort from anyone. He was already too needy and clingy. But fuck, Phantom didn't wanna be alone.

He stared at his mirror, barely able to see his own reflection through the fog of his tears.

‘What have you done?’ He thought to himself.

‘It's you. You're the problem. They're angry with you.’

Phantom hated that. He hated the voice that told him everything was his fault. Deep down, he knew it wasn't true. But it was hard to focus on remembering that when his brain was screaming at him that it was real.

He hugged himself and curled up a little. He stumbled back, whimpering when he stepped on his own tail. He fell back against the bed, gasping for breaths as sobs started to wrack through his body.

Phantom felt awful. He was scared, insecure, and lonely. Nobody was there to hug him, to kiss him and assure no one was angry at him.

His body scrunched up at the foot of his bed, his tail tucked between his folded legs that he hugged. He bit his hand, trying to muffle his crying, but he just whined. He felt so horrible.

It was probably ten minutes that he laid there, curled up and crying. He might've fallen asleep, he might've blacked out; Phantom really didn't know. But when he heard the light knock on his door, his fuzzy brain slowly started to function again.

He lifted his head and rubbed his burning, wet eyes. He swallowed thickly, anticipating the judgement that would come from whoever was on the other side of his bedroom door when he opened it.

The doorknob turned and Phantom kept his head hung low.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could have my whale stuffie back. Mount told me you..."

Rain's voice trailed off. When he spoke again, his tone was soft.

"What's wrong, love?"

Phantom felt his stomach twist. He didn't know whether or not to appreciate the sympathy or feel bad about receiving it. He kept his head tilted lower, his eyes flickered up to the water ghoul.

Rain sighed.

"I'm gonna go," the taller said quietly.

Phantom wanted to throw up. His stomach hurt and he could feel his throat grow tight. He didn't reply. He just shut the door.

The latch clicked shut and Phantom whined sadly. He wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands and sniffed softly.

He stood there for some time, alone. He didn't bother going back to his bed. He didn't really care to do much right, even so much as walk a few feet.

But when there was a knock at his door, he felt a tiny spark of energy. The pessimist in him cursed at his hopeful thoughts that Rain had come back, but alas, his shaky hand reached for the doorknob and turned it.

"Oh, darling," Rain whispered. "You didn't really think I was just going to leave you, did you?"

Phantom was a bit shocked. He took a moment to think before nodding honestly.

Rain shook his head. The water ghoul had a large, fluffy blanket in one hand, two plushies stuffed in each of his inner elbows, and somehow managed to carry two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands.

Phantom was impressed by the ghoul's balance and ability to multi task so well. He figured it was a water ghoul thing.

Phantom sniffled and tilted his head.

"Did you knock with your head or something?..."

The question was serious, but Rain only chuckled.

"Can I come in? My hands are getting kind of tired."

Phantom shook his head, internally scolding himself for his lack of politeness. He moved aside.

Rain moved in and walked to a nightstand, setting down the two mugs. Phantom watched him carefully. He realized the care the water ghoul had put in.

His favorite texture of blanket, his favorite plushies of Rain's, his favorite mug, one that had spiders and webs on it.

He noticed how Rain had really taken the time to pick everything with care. He wiped his eyes and closed his door.

Rain set the stuff down and sat down in his bed, smiling at Phantom and gesturing for him to come over.

Phantom hesitated. His feet carried him across the floorboards and he still hugged himself while kneeling in the bed.

Rain sighed and his smile turned sympathetic. His arms opened and his lifted himself momentarily to pull Phantom in.

The quint was surprised, to the least, but after a minute, he started to relax.

He could still hear the voice in his head, screaming that this was all just Rain being nice. But all he could do right now was accept the affection.

He didn't realize he was starting to cry again until he felt his body start to shake.

Rain shushed him and kissed the crown of his head.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Phantom shook his head. He couldn't talk about it. He didn't know how to put it into words. Besides, the last thing he wanted in the moment was to confront his cruel thoughts.

"Can you just... Hold me?"

Phantom's voice cracked mid sentence. He could never speak clearly when crying. When Phantom cried, it was deep. He would bawl his eyes out and barely be able to choke out words without stuttering and fumbling.

Rain didn't mind. Rain was kind and patient and understanding. He would never get angry at anyone for crying.

He just nodded at Phantom's words.

"I'll always hold you, my darling. I'll always take care of you. I'll always love you."

The words only made Phantom sob more. He shifted a little, not seemingly caring what was uncomfortable for who. He put himself in Rain's lap and put his arms around his neck.

Rain pulled the blanket over the two of them, and Phantom recognized the warmth as something straight from the dryer.

"Please, don't leave me," he whispered. "I don't ever wanna be alone. It's scary. I'm scared."

Rain hummed.

"I'm never here to scare you. You know that."

Yeah, he did. He just had to remember it.

"Why do I always feel like the world hates me? Or like everyone's out to get me? What did I do wrong?"

Phantom's questioning of the world and his feelings made Rain's heart clench a little. He gently massaged the quint's scalp and comforted him.

"It's not you. It's never you. Nobody hates you, so you shouldn't hate yourself. You've never done anything wrong, my love... Sometimes people accidentally overlook the brightest stars in the night sky. But that doesn't mean they don't appreciate their beauty when they do see them."

Phantom peered up at Rain, his obsidian purple orbs meeting the deep aqua blue of Rain's.

"But..."

Rain shook his head.

"There's no 'buts', stardust. You're okay. You're lovely the way you are. Your pack loves you, even if we don't always show you or you don't always see."

He paused.

"You have to remember that. I know it's hard, but you have to try your best. Because any negative voice inside your head is either from the past, or never existed. You're safe. You're adored. You're perfect."

Phantom stared at the water ghoul. He always focused so much on Rain's external beauty that he tended to forget how pretty he was on the inside too. He adored that ghoul. And that ghoul adored him.

"I love you," Phantom said with a weak voice.

His sobs have slowed now and his tears had shrunk.

"I love you, too," Rain replied before pulling Phantom into a loving kiss.

Their foreheads pressed together and Phantom let out a smaky breath, basking in the feeling and scent of his packmate.

They stayed like that for a few moments, small kisses pressed against each other's lips, and eventually Phantom was smiling again.

Rain cradled his face.

"So... The hot chocolate probably isn't too hot anymore, but it's still chocolate. Swiss told me you wanted to watch the Dark Knight movies. He's sorry he couldn't make it, but do you wanna do that with me instead?"

Phantom giggled a little and nodded. He turned his back a little and reached carefully over the mugs for his laptop. The computer was set in front of Rain and opened up. The mouse moved across the screen to his streaming service to find the movie.

As the movie started, Rain reached for the two plushies he'd brought, as well as the one Phantom already had with him. He put the stuffies around them and reached past Phantom for their mugs.

The two sat there in Phantom's bed, curled up with Rain's bedding as they watched the Batman movies.

This was something Phantom could never hate.

[wikitpowers]

I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO BE HIT WITH THAY LETTER TODAY IM AN EMOTIONAL MESS SOMEONE PLEASE JOLD ME I CANT DO THIS

[cuttlefishebooks]

Panel redraw

[boozye]

Ask me again.

Satan x Asexual reader (pronouns you/yours, no gender specified)

Comfort? IDEK

Established relationship

Word count: 971

Cover art by me (recycled)

Someone needs reassurance from societal pressure and expectations! (you, you fucking do ((me actually)))

Guess who spent 2 hours writing nonstop instead of sleeping? Here, have the fruits of my insomnia. Not proofread, didn't bother checking punctuation, good luck soldier.

________________________________

Oh it was one of those days, wasn't it? When your confidence wavered. You've been through this before. You knew what you needed. But would this be the last straw for him?

In vain you attempted to carry on as if nothing was amiss within you. But he noticed. Of course he noticed. He's arguably the most observant person there's ever been, of you at least. Yet so tactful about it.

You tried to hold his hand as usual. Let him touch you affectionately without tensing up. Be close to his face and his body without hesitation. But you couldn't really help it. And who knows how many other signs you weren't even aware of he had picked up already.

Was this more aggravating to him than if you just asked for what you needed? The thoughts swarmed your mind. Again. Again their buzz overtook reason. You had been doing so well too... So you just started preparing, mentally, for what you had to say.

Meanwhile, Satan was figuring things out at his own pace. Were you growing scared? Of him? Well he could see why. His temper still got the best of him sometimes. And he knew that what to him and other demons was just a mild grumpy spell, to a regular human could be rather violent or scary.

Yet whenever he talked about it, you reassured him that no, you weren't afraid of him. You held him so lovingly and told him. Told him that you knew he'd never hurt you or try to again.

His thoughts were interrupted by you, in the flesh, of all things. You sat by him in the library and looked him in the eyes. Your expression wasn't upset but he could see you were going to say something important.

"Can we walk back home? Whenever is okay. I'll just hang around here until you are done."

A calculated request, he deduced. But you were asking for him in a way. It was a relief. He sighed with a soft smile and answered:

"Sure, I couldn't focus on what I was reading much today anyways. Let's just go."

With that, you calmly picked up your bags and left the building.

Your walk started out casual enough. Barely anyone on the streets at this hour, something you both prefer. But Satan saw you were bracing yourself to say something.

"Satan," you sighed "do you remember what I said when we started dating?"

He blushed very faintly. "You said you were really happy and you hugged me so hard... And then you grabbed my face and kissed m-"

You gaped for a second in surprise before interrupting him. "Nooo, not that."

He looked back at you, expecting to hear what you meant. You cleared your throat and elaborated.

"When I asked if you were really okay with me being asexual?"

He looked back at you a little puzzled "I believe I said that I was perfectly fine with that?"

You nodded, "yes, well, right after that."

He aimed his gaze down trying to remember. The bliss of the moment might have made him dismiss anything he didn't immediately figure out.

In the meantime, outside his head, the words itched in your throat, you planned to just remind him, but this conversation was turning excruciating for you. Just as he remembered, your voice next to him echoed his memory:

"Can I ask again in the future?"

He looked at you with a mixture of realization and curiosity. You continued.

"You told me that I could, Satan. So..."

You took a few seconds to still your resolve.

"Are you okay with it?"

There it was, the prickle in his expression. You didn't want to see it. You knew this question could be bothersome. But you needed this.

"Y/N, of course I am! Did I overstep your boundaries in any way? Please tell me so I don't repeat it again. I apologize, I truly didn't mean to..."

He trails off. But you are already raising your hand and trying to wave his concern away. Ashamed, you reply.

"No, no Satan. Listen. I just needed to ask again. You didn't overstep or anything. I like touching you, and being touched by you as well."

He nods, but stays silent for you to continue.

"But, well... I just didn't want to raise your expectations with that sort of contact. It's happened before with other people and it hasn't ended well."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Humans are so fickle."

You look at him wideyed, clearly hurt.

"Wait, not you, I didn't mean you!" He drags his hand down his face "Sorry, sorry" before continuing, he gathers his thoughts, "what I mean is that that is not something you have to worry about with me."

"Was it wrong of me to ask?"

He looks forward, wideyed with full realization. Then he stops walking and faces you with his entire posture as you stop a couple steps after him. He puts a hand on your shoulder and solemnly says " Y/N, never feel bad for needing reassurance. It is not wrong. How many times have you reassured me? That you aren't afraid of me? I didn't realize at the time that was what your question meant. But yes, you can ask me again. As many times as you want. It won't only not bother me, I will tell you that I love you every time and mean it. I love you."

You put your hand on his, getting misty eyed. Before your tears take over, you lean forward and kiss him briefly. Then you part from his lips and hug him, squeezing as hard as you can. He hugs back, pats your head, then chuckles and leans back, lifting your feet from the floor briefly, making you chuckle as well.

[freneticfloetry]

from the bottom of my heart

So it turns out the presentation was so extra it was too large to upload to Slides, and the best I could do was export it as a video. His ass literally wouldn't fit on Google.

Either way, please enjoy this visual ode to TK Strand (and yes, his bottom).

And please note that this was created for shits, giggles, and @hoko-onchi-writes, and is in no way intended to praise or condemn any pitching or catching preference. All opinions are my own. In other words, don't @ me, it's not that serious.

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[dayurno]

what do u like about allison? not attacking u or anything she's just always fell flat to me and im open to enlightenment

shes funny to me :) i like that she's catty and entitled and insufferable, but that there are moments where it slips (namely grieving seth, but also offering herself up to be a confidante to neil, crumpling into renee after andrew hurts her) and we get to see that she's terrified of herself And others and that money could not buy her a sense of self nor a reasonable emotional framework. there are also small things about her that i just find endearing, like the few times where her and matt act like siblings (when the foxes get rained on and matt takes a picture of her looking soaked, much to her horror, and when jeremy shows the foxes his game plan for the semi finals and allison tugs incessantly at matts sleeve to let her see it) and her horrible betting problem, the way she knew neil caused seth's death but also knew she couldn't live her whole life with that grudge, her gossip habits, the way she desperately wants to fix everything with money (taking the foxes out to the cabins after neil got kidnapped always seemed like such an obvious attempt to soothe the team to me, but allison was not raised on affection and the only way she can conceive it is through what she can offer them in monetary terms + i'm reminded of the bit in the ec that allison keeps a trustfund for the foxes' children and that she pays for renee's child's medical bills) etc!

i do mean it when i say that allison and kevin are not all that different, and they have a very similar understanding (or lack thereof) of the way relationships work, but allison can be such a steorotype sometimes it's hard to allow ourselves to see her as anything but a tall hot glass of skank, whereas we naturally give kevin more nuance and space for humanity because we are taught to believe men are more capable of complexity than women. one of my favorite allison is kevin in a wig moments is the fact that allison's goal with seth ('to make a real man out of him', to give him something to live for, to make him want to achieve it) is exactly the same as kevin's goal with andrew

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando S2E2 - "Welcome Home"