#magical houses up the wazoo

[fahye]

A Power Unbound

Secrets! Magic! Enemies to… something more? Jack Alston, Lord Hawthorn, would love a nice, safe, comfortable life. After the death of his twin sister, he thought he was done with magic for good. But with the threat of a dangerous ritual hanging over every magician in Britain, he’s drawn reluctantly back into that world. Now Jack is living in a bizarre puzzle-box of a magical London townhouse, helping an unlikely group of friends track down the final piece of the Last Contract before their enemies can do the same. And to make matters worse, they need the help of writer and thief Alan Ross. Cagey and argumentative, Alan is only in this for the money. The aristocratic Lord Hawthorn, with all his unearned power, is everything that Alan hates. And unfortunately, Alan happens to be everything that Jack wants in one gorgeous, infuriating package. When a plot to seize unimaginable power comes to a head at Cheetham Hall—Jack’s ancestral family estate, a land so old and bound in oaths that it’s grown a personality as prickly as its owner—Jack, Alan and their allies will become entangled in a night of champagne, secrets, and bloody sacrifice… and the foundations of magic in Britain will be torn up by the roots before the end.

Coming November 2023

PRE-ORDER: US

PRE-ORDER: UK

ADD ON GOODREADS

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Can you do Bachelors reacting to using the Farmer’s Return Scepter/any of their Warp Obelisks on the farm for the first time? I wanna know which ones would love it and which ones would get motion sickness up the wazoo lmao.

Get ready, anon. The post turned out to be a little larger than I expected 😅

Thank you for your ask) Enjoy!

Bachelors react to Farmer using Return scepter/warp obelisks for the first time:

Elliott:

Oh, what a wonderful morning for Elliott! Beautiful sunrise, pleasant sea breeze, magnificent! Elliott is also happy because yesterday he finally finished the last chapter of his new novel. He went out to the sandy shore to get some fresh air, and noticed the Farmer on the shore. Perfect, they were the ones he wanted to talk to about his book.

"Farmer, my dear friend, good morning! I would like to invite you to a screening of my new novel, which will be in..."

Before Elliott could finish speaking, Farmer's figure vanished from his field of vision in the blink of an eye.

...

Excuse me, what?

Then the Farmer appeared as quickly as they disappeared. They set crab traps on the seashore and disappeared again. And they appeared again, and disappeared again, and again...

Poor Elliott was already beginning to get motion sick at the sight of this picture, so he quickly ran up to the Farmer as they teleported back to the shore and asked him to stop for a moment.

"My friend, please dispel my doubts and tell me that you really just disappeared several times, otherwise I will think that I have lost my mind."

The Farmer reassured Elliott and pointed to their magical scepter, also mentioned for the obelisks, one of which transports the Farmer straight to the shore.

Elliott overcame his strong desire to try the magic scepter for new sensations. Maybe next time, because he recently had breakfast, and would not want his vestibular apparatus to withstand such attractions due to chaotic teleportation.

Shane:

...

What the fuck just happened?

......

Looks like he shouldn't have drunk that expired beer from JojaMart. Not only did he recently have indigestion, but he also began to hallucinate. Teleporting people, bluh...

Unfortunately to him, the incident with the Farmer's teleport right in front of his face happened again, but this time - Shane is sober.

...............

Is he out of his mind?

The next day, he quickly catches up with the Farmer and asks them to step aside so they can talk in private. Asking about those cases with teleportation, Shane expected a mockery from the young Farmer and advice to stop drinking so much alcohol.

Except the Farmer does not taunt him, but nods their head, showing Shane the golden scepter and thus confirming their words.

Shane has... mixed emotions about this.

Because he was convinced that there was nothing in the world that science could not prove.

And now, here we fucking go - magic and crap, for fuck's sakes.

Give him goddamn break.

Sam:

Wow! Amazing!

Sam wanted to invite them to hang out together on the beach, but before he could even say a word, the Farmer raised the golden scepter into the air and disappeared somewhere.

The next day, he immediately finds them and asks what was that.

Return scepter? Can he try it too?

The Farmer gave him the scepter to use once, and Sam was completely shocked by what was happening. They were near his house, and now they are on the porch of the farm. That is so cool!

Now Sam doesn't stop talking about the magic scepter.

How does it work? Were they drifted from the dimensional holes, or did they get stuck in the wall? Does the scepter only transfer to the farm? Can he teleport to Zuzu City? There's a great eatery that serves the best pizza in the world and..

Oh Yoba, Sam, please...

He begs them to let him use this magic item to prank Lewis.

If the Farmer refuses, explaining that this is not a toy, then Sam will be cool with that, although he will still grumble a little about such a lost opportunity to poke the mayor.

But If the Farmer agrees... Oh ho ho, Lewis will only dream of peace now...

Harvey:

Unfortunately, there was so much work accumulated over the past week that Harvey had to sit with documents until late in the night. The Farmer, seeing how tired the doctor is even on weekends, offer him some help, to which he politely refuses, not wanting to pile work on an already very busy friend.

And yet, when Harvey almost fell asleep right on his desk on another weekday, the Farmer entered the clinic door, with a homemade pickles and a cup of hot coffee as a gift for a workaholic.

Harvey said they shouldn't have done it, but the Farmer insisted that at least a strong coffee would keep him on his toes.

"Oh, I forgot the truffle oil at home! I'll be back in one moment."

"Really, Farmer, you shouldn't..."

The Farmer lifted up the strange staff and vanished out of the blue.

....

That's it, congratulations Harv. He's finally went cuckoo, they told him many times not to overwork, but who did he listen to, what kind of doctor is he after that.

The Farmer appeared before Harvey's gaze with a bottle of the promised truffle oil.

And at that moment, Harvey chuckled softly... and fainted.

The Farmer has a very long time to bring the feeling of Harvey, to apologize to the doctor for such a sudden disappearance, to scold him for bringing himself to such a state, and to explain how the obelisks and the return scepter work.

Yeah, Harvey will have to drink something stronger than coffee after this...

Alex:

Alex noticed the Farmer near the strange cylindrical buildings on the farm, and before he could call out to them, he saw how they touched one of the pillars and... disappeared!?

What????

Surprised Pikachu face :O

Alex, forgetting everything in the world, immediately ran towards the obelisks, looking at each of them for a minute.

He decided to touch the very obelisk that they touched and... Wow! Where is he? Oh, it's Ginger Island! And the Farmer is here too.

Alex at first, excitedly, asks them what the buildings are that brought them both to the island. Not understanding Farmer's explanation, he heard one word explaining it all: magic.

Ah, ok

...

So, the Farmer has the ability to arrive at Ginger Island even if Willy can't bring them by boat for some reason, right? 😏

Hey, don't look at him like that, it's a boring winter in the valley and he'd love to hang out on a tropical beach.

Okay, Farmer gave him permission to use this obelisk.

"Cool, thanks! By the way, how are we going to get back to the Valley without Willy's boat?"

"Oh, I'm just using my return scepter and..."

The Farmer left the scepter at home on the farm. Oops...

Sebastian:

Sebby went out for a smoke near a mountain lake until he heard the Farmer running straight to the door of his house. Huh, they must have gone to his mom's to buy furniture or order new farm building. Five minutes later they went outside again.

"I understand Robin, give me a minute I will come and bring the wood you needed!"

So they decide to build something, a shed or another coop? Still, Sebastian is not sure that they will have time to bring so much wood in just a one minute, before the shop is closed. Although the farm is nearby, it's not close to walk to it, and...

The Farmer has disappeared with a magical pop. Out of the blue. Like poof - and gone. Then returned a minute later, as promised, with wood for the order, and went inside the house to give Robin the necessary resources.

Sebastian was so shocked by what had happened that he dropped the cigarette from his mouth.

They went outside again and were about to raise the Return scepter into the air when Sebastian called out to them in a low voice.

"Return scepter? Cool. Can I look at it? If you don't mind, of course."

The Farmer suggested that Sebastian try using the artifact. The sensations were indescribable. The Farmer and Sebastian were enveloped in a light magical haze, he felt a pleasant tingling, and in a moment they were both at the farm.

They invited Sebastian home to talk about this artifact that interested him and drink a cup of coffee. Sebby accepted the invitation, there's nothing to do in the evening anyway.

[sparring-spirals]

thinking affectionately of the m9 today :) Happy end-of-campaign anniversary to a bunch of rowdy distrustful chucklefucks with fake names up the wazoo who ended up, among other things:

in a circle on a memory wiping island, telling each other true facts, trusting the others to keep them safe. flinging platinum at scary beasts. getting banned from libraries. becoming pirates. getting banned from a pirate town. pissing off their neighbors with a glowing tree on their house. accidental heroes of a nation. saviours of some lost little kids. a buncha jerks bullying a foreman. flinging themselves into, in front of, and after danger for each other. drawing dicks everywhere. pestering enemies into becoming friends. pulling off(?) absolutely terrible and disastrous heists. attending shitty dinners. reading smut in tunnels. eating food together. being certain the world was going to end. saving it anyway. being kind of shitty. being better.

and maybe, most importantly, who ended up being happy. And better. On a pirate ship at sea, at a crowded dinner in a warm house, surrounded by family, surrounded by breakthroughs and fruits of labour, surrounded by loved ones, by warm flowers and life grown by bare hands. Surrounded by a world they saved, sure, yeah. But. These often unhappy, flawed people, who saved each other. Who saved themselves. Who have a glowing tree house in Xhorhas and a vacation spot on Rumblecusp and a magical tower full of cats. And each other.

they saved the world, they saved themselves, they saved each other, these trainwrecky distrustful little gremlins. happy one year anniversary :'D

[joisbishmyoga]

Ok, zo. ONCE AGAIN 'the series that really needed to be confiscated from the original author years ago' has me posting.

I don't think I've mentioned it here, mostly bc I know I intended to write a ficlet but nope that didn't happen I am DONE with HP ficlets I really am. ANYWAY.

James was great at Transfiguration. Lily at Charms. Both were hardened veterans of seven years of magical prank wars, whether committing or defending from as a bystander. You're stuck in a house for months with a baby you need to protect at all costs, and you have.... exactly ONE layer of defense. Suuuuuuuure you do. I'd be making failsafes out the wazoo just from sheer bored stress pretty damn quickly.

Behold: two parent-shaped golems, pre-programmed with "Lily run" and "not Harry". At least one secret magical door + collapsing escape tunnels in every room. Brooms in the escape tunnels. Heavily shielded bunkers deep underground miles away, holding illegal Portkeys. And one bomb shaped like a baby.

Potters want big boom.

But wait! There's more! (For one thing, their Fidelius address, the one that Peter's going to tell Moldybrains, is sure af NOT in the middle of a village for Voldie and the Deathies to take out their tempers on.) Booby-trap the foyer to shoot up spikes when stepped on (if you've hit the panic button, obviously). (It might not kill him but it would certainly slow him down and hurt like a bitch. And do worse if you cover the spikes with potions!) Douse him in Draught of Living Death. Wear bracelets charmed to register as Number Whatever Fidelius Lane, Fuck-Fascists Hollow, ta-dah you're always in it. (Ok that one is a stretch, but seriously.) Get tf out of the country, choosing the destination via dartboard world map, because if Voldie has to leave England to come get you there's a chance it'll get noticed. Nested Fideliuses. Fidelii? Our location is known to our Keeper whose location is known to his Keeper whose location is known to her Keeper etc etc etc, which at least will give everybody down the chain some goddamn warning before they get to you. (And you don't pick a known close friend for your Keeper, no matter how much you trust them; anybody can break. Heck, Lily has to know other Muggleborns, they and their families would be targets but they won't be DEs, or pick the Longbottoms. Either way, do a reciprocal Fidelius.) Borrow a house-elf from Hogwarts (which is a whole 'nother rant that a lot of other people have done far better than I could); not to die for them, but to throw Volds all over the place and whatever else house-elf magic can do until they have to escape. And Dumbledore does NOT get the Invisibility Cloak, come on now, that is your last resort, something that can hide one adult and child while they flee.

[likeapray3r]

Thinking about how I somehow ended up at three insane multi-million dollar mansion parties in Miami in one night—houses unlike I’ve ever witnessed before (only ever seen shit like this on Selling Sunset LOL)—and witnessed so many people oddly demean and degrade themselves just to get in… so much eagerness to be seen as good enough … standing on the front lawn in their best fit (designer that doesn’t really look good but, you know, at least the clothes says the brand name in bold font so everyone can see!) … I was with a friend who has a way of getting whatever she wants out of anyone —and she brought along a visibly decaying child star — he oozed of what once was , and you can tell he was still holding onto dear life that he, too, can still get whatever he wants, and treat anyone as he deemed fit. Which was most likely the ego begging to still be seen as good enough —or somehow manage to feed the dying gremlin in his soul that continued to tell him he was above everyone else. Anyway, she magically got us into every place with as little as a snap of a finger, visible confusion arising in everyone abandoned on the lawn. And I’m gonna be honest..I just found everything really appalling. I mean… they really sell you on it. Beautiful mansion—limited entrance—best party ever! Or is it? Because what I saw on the other side felt so … lonely. Kind of like a facade. Though there were DJ’s and extravagant lighting and booze up the wazoo and dancers and the kind of entertainment only the grossly rich could ever consider indulging in… there was still nothing…at least to me. I didn’t like having a hot, breathy conversation with a man well into his 30’s —who felt like he just HAD to tell me he is the number one optimist—I didn’t give a fuck. So he moved onto the next girl who would give a fuck, obviously. I didn’t like getting a kiss on the cheek from some man I had just met all because he's “from Brazil!!! It’s a part of my culture to introduce with a kiss!!!<333” while visibly not doing the same to certain other somebodies who he’d also introduced himself to. Idk. I’m not gonna bitch and moan about it. It’s not that I particularly felt lonely in these moments either, I just noticed how everyone had nothing in their eyes and an intense desire to be perceived. I thought it was really silly… have one sip of a drink , throw it out, and off to the next place. Where the same thing just repeated. I don’t know. The world is a strange place.

[merlinsear]

I stayed up later than I should have last night because I just HAD to finish reading The House in the Cerulean Sea and I don’t even regret it, despite today being really difficult so far with how tired I am. The book was absolutely lovely and if you’re in need of something heartwarming and sweet you should try it out.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Hello! This is a funny yet cute thought that came to mind but can I request head cannons of the Brothers and Nowdateables reacting to an Mc that was actually pregnant throughout the program?

She wasn’t showing at first but as the months go by, her stomach is larger as well as her noticeably odd cravings and waddle. So when asked who the dad is or if it happened through the program, she’s like “I was already pregnant and there is no father, I’m inseminated. I’ve always wanted to be a Mom.”

As her stomach shows, she doesn’t mind letting the boys touch her stomach and feel the kicks, attend baby checkups with her, etc. Until God forbid being with her when her water breaks and she goes into labor during RAD or at one of Diavolo’s parties. It’s up to you if you want this to be romantic (For the Brothers + Datables w/o Luke to see the baby as their own child) or platonic for all of them and be protective uncles + Brother to the child.

I debated not doing this one. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I was nervous about all the Obey me baby requests I’m probably gonna get now. LOLOLOLOL XD

Obey me Boys + Pregnant!MC

Lucifer

Disappointed in himself for not knowing about this before hand. It should have been in your file, but he also should have done his due diligence in vetting you.

Once he’s made aware, he takes great care to make sure you’re taken care of.

No highly strenuous activities. No stress. Well balanced meals and soft surroundings.

Schedules and goes to all your doctor’s appointments with you. Takes notes.

Has a trust set up for you & the baby to make sure you’re taken care of for the rest of your lives

Nervous about holding the baby at first, after it’s born, but gets used to it.

Mammon

Shocked when you first tell him, and scared

He’s “Baka-mon” after all. He doesn’t want to accidently hurt you or the baby.

Works really hard to be better for the both of you. No more yelling. No more gambling or late nights. He does all his work on time and some of yours too.

Loves to rest his head on your stomach and feel the baby move.

100% the one that gets the an expensive crib, designer clothes, and a Waterford crystal bear for the baby when it’s born.

Wants the baby to call him “Uncle Mammon” when they can talk. If not Dad

Levi

Nervous. What’s he gonna do with a baby?? Or a pregnant MC???

Tries to stay away from you as much as possible. Something he feels bad about, but he’s just scared of doing something wrong.

Also, not gonna lie, he’s a little jealous that you’re having someone else’s baby. Even if it is from a donor. (avatar of envy ladies and gentleman)

Reads a lot of Slice of Life family manga to be more prepared and in tune with this new ‘family friendly’ genre he’s found himself in

Puts his headphones on your stomach and plays music for the baby, because he read that they can hear it

Nicknames the baby ‘chibi-chan’ after they are born, because they are so small

Satan

Not sure why you were keeping it a secret, or agreed to come to the Devildom if you were pregnant, but handles the news rather well.

Immediately looks into every book on the subject. ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, pregnancy health books, child rearing.

He wants to be informed so he can help you with this process

Makes all your favorites when he’s on kitchen duty. Takes over your days so you can rest more

Incredibly impressed with how well your managing being pregnant, school, and well.....them all at the same time.

Buys every children's book he comes across for the baby when he sees them. They’ll have a library as big as his by the time they can read.

Asmo

Actually really loves babies. They are the product of love, which he is all for. And they’re so cuuuuute!

Immediately offers to take you maternity clothes shopping. Every time you need new clothes.

Decorates your room and the nursery for the baby so it’s a warm, inviting space for the both of you.

Always ready to pamper or give the expecting mother a spa day when she needs it

Desperately tries to have their first word be “Asmo”

Beel

He’s very happy for you. If this is what you want, and you’re following your dream, he’s happy for you and to help wherever he can

King of the weird food craving brigade. He’ll bring you whatever you want, any time you want. He’s probably hungry too anyway

Extremely protective of you. He was already, but now that he knows you have a defenseless life in your body he’ll do anything to keep you safe.

Often decides that walking is too strenuous for you, and carries you around school or House of Lamentation

Best baby sitter. I voted. No take backs.

Belphie

Not the biggest fan of the news.

Babies are loud, and need a lot of attention. And he’s the baby of the family so there can’t be two of them

Tries to be supportive, but it is a struggle for him. I mean...there’s nothing he can do so might as well get on board.

Gives you one of his old blankets to have as the baby blanket. It’s very sentimental

When the baby is born, his attitude changes. He’ll murder anyone who gets too close to the baby or even look at them too long. He’s like one of those cats that curl up with newborns and swat at anyone that gets too close while they are sleeping.

Solomon

Surprised to hear that you are pregnant, but wishes you well all the same

He’s not exactly thrilled you’re having another man’s baby. But you made the decision before you met, so what’s done is done.

Mixes you up a lot of morning sickness relief and joint pain potions to help with your pregnancy

Creates an ever lasting, floating mobile of stars for the baby’s room. Along with protection spells out the wazoo

Decides he will make the baby his new apprentice in magic. When they’re older.

Simeon

Elated to hear the good news!

A new precious life in the world. What could be better than that?

Always ready to help with anything you need. Shopping, cooking, helping to relax, or even just to talk, he’s there

First to buy the baby there own Baby Book, to record all it’s precious first moments and photographs

Petitions on high to be the child’s official Guardian Angel

Luke

He obviously has no experience with this, so he’s interested in where babies come from

Also eager to help. He’s always been the youngest angel, so he’s never had the opportunity to help care for someone else. He really likes the idea of being a ‘big brother’ figure.

Asks a lot of questions. Like....a lot of questions.

Bakes a lot of sweets for you so you can be happy and make sure you’re eating properly

FINALLY! He’s not the smallest anymore!!

Diavolo

Thinks it’s wonderful!

Children are the future. Plus, he is fascinated by human breeding. (not in a creepy way just as a general interest in all things human)

Loves seeing your body grow and change throughout your pregnancy. Is always eager to touch your stomach

Anything you need is yours. Diavolo personally sees to it

Calls your child his little ‘prince or princess’. No matter if you’re romantically involved or not.

Barbatos

Given that he can see the future, he knew that you were pregnant before you told anyone

Puts you on a strict regiment of healthy foods & diet once, you’ve announced it, to make sure you’re getting proper nutrition

Also sneaks in some sweets now & then. He’s a demon, not a monster.

Handles everything from setting doctors appointments to getting the nursery organized for the baby’s arrival

His life’s mission is to make sure you and the baby are cared for. Next to his prince, you two are his top priority now.

[saijspellhart]

Saij’s YGO Fanfic Recommendations:

Oneshots:

Tales from Domino Bay - by NaughtyOrgel

Atem is a flirty Merman, and Yugi is his unsuspecting prey. Until the feels start happening of course. Love this fic. I can’t recommend it enough. Puzzleshipping.

Soft Power - by Actualskeleton

A super cute Boundshipping fic. Characters are written so great. It’s so good it will rot your teeth out from the sweetness. Nothing more to say.

Crescendo - by Kudalyn

Yugi is a Dj and Atem happens to catch one of his sets and just falls, hard. This one is short, but hot, and an absolute treat to read. The writer is super good. And the steamy stuff is excellently written. Puzzleshipping.

His Touch - by Renk3r

Yugi is a little oblivious, and Yami is incredibly jealous and possessive about who should be allowed to touch Yugi. Spoilers, it’s him. A spicy, and wonderfully written oneshot that is sure to satisfy cravings for the jealousy/possessive trope. Puzzleshipping.

Hide and Seek - by Natoya

A fun and steamy Mobiumshipping oneshot. Yugi decides to play hide and seek with Yami and Atem inside the puzzle. But they wager stakes on the game that get downright naughty.

Wizard’s Shop - by CannibalPieChan

Yugi wanders into a wizard’s shop and accidentally breaks a magical golden puzzle. Puzzleshipping goodness. Sweet, cute, and fun.

Multichapter:

Keep the Light Shining - by Clydeside

The best kind of Puzzleshipping. The spooky kind. Yugi gets a job as a lighthouse keeper, and meets a mysterious specter haunting the island. Is the ghost malicious? Dangerous? Or just a drop-dead gorgeous sweetheart? (No pun intended. I lie. Totally intended). The writing style is spectacular. The atmosphere is intense, and the mystery and suspense of the whole story will keep you on your toes.

Bridging the Gap Between Us - by Sitabethel

Bakura gets injured while protecting Ryou and Yugi, and the boys make it their mission to take care of him while he’s on the mend. Except Bakura starts getting the feels for Yugi. A steamy, sweet, and cute Kleptoshipping fanfic. An absolute delight to read.

Strip Me With Your Eyes - by Saoirse_Ilysi

Ryuji bullies Atem into filling in for one of his dancer’s at his strip club. Atem begrudgingly dances, but ends up to catching the eye of one of the club patrons, Yugi. Oh noes, Atem is catching feels. Yugi caught feels. Feels are happening. Feels all around. Also Marik is a delight. Love this AU. Love the story. Puzzleshipping.

Reflections in the Water - by Pyromanicofthesea

Ryou bought a house. That tells you everything you need to know about this story, because if Ryou bought a house you can bet your ass it’s haunted. But WAIT! It’s not just haunted by one ghost. Delightful wonderful cute spooky shenanigans. Not sure where all the ships are going in this fic, but I like the Ryou x YMarik chemistry. And I also like the Ryou x Yugi chemistry. So I can’t wait to see how this one unfolds.

Underwater Chrysalis - by Prettiugli

Seto catches a merman during a deep sea mining excursion, and decides to study him. Because that’s just such a Seto thing to do. Meanwhile the merman, Atem, decides to have some fun. This is a long fic, it gets all kinds of kinky, and is a helluva trip to read. Loved it, from start to finish. Seto is written perfectly. Probably the best written Seto I’ve ever seen. The fic is very Kaiba-centric, so I highly recommend if you LOVE Seto Kaiba. Prideshipping out the wazoo.

The Missing Puzzle Piece to Your Heart - by ThePancake

A canon compliant Ancient Egypt AU. Yugi goes back in time to live with Atem in ancient Egypt after the events of the show. (Don’t think too hard about how this works without disrupting history and time. Just enjoy it.) This story is sweet, and steamy, and spicy, and dramatic. The author is super talented, and writes all the characters so well. And the story was so much fun to read. Reading this fic had my heart doing acrobatics when the angst and drama went full tilt. All the feels in the best ways. So much Puzzleshipping.

Haunted House sweet Home - by InkFlavored

Because I can never get enough of the haunted house trope. I highly recommend reading this fic if you need more Puzzleshipping ghost fix. Yugi moves into a new place only to discover a golden Egyptian diadem left abandoned inside the apartment. Atem is a spirit tethered to said diadem. Cue the cutest friendship turn slow burn romance ever. It’s an absolute thrill of a read. Sweet, fluffy, but also full of suspense and spooks.

Fuzzy Handcuffs - by Sitabethel

Probably one of my all time favorite Deathshipping fics. With the help of Marik and Yugi, Ryou brings back all the Yamis using dark magic. Yugi gets reunited with Atem, and Marik with Bakura. But YMarik got brought back with no one to love him... unless. The fic is hilarious, spicy, and a treat to read.

Creepy Hide & Seek - by Sitabethel

Bet you can’t tell who’s my favorite author yet. This fic is mostly Deathshipping with a sumptuous side of Thiefshipping. Two of my favorite ships. Ryou figures out how to bring back YBakura and eventually YMarik by playing a dangerous rendition of Hide and Seek. The consequences of playing the game wrong turn out to be much more grave than he ever imagined though.

Red string - by Renk3r

Mobiumshipping perfection. Yami recovers his memories, but not in the way he expected. The memories come in the form of his former self, Atem. And now his soul is split in two. Yami and Atem inhabit the puzzle together, both vying for Yugi’s attention and affection, and neither wants to share. This is hands down my second favorite fanfic. And my favorite Mobium fic. A MUST read.

Playing Card Games is Just like Making Love - by ChaosRocket

Marik recovers the millennium ring, and manages to bring Bakura back. The two strike up a bargain to get what they both want, but their partnership blooms into a tentative friendship, that starts encroaching on deeper feelings. Especially when they start betting sexual favors on card games. An excellent Thiefshipping romp. So many feels, so well written. It’s ruined me for any other Thiefshipping fic. This one set the bar so high.

Silent Mind - by LadyGodess

The Deathshipping fic, that probably got me into Deathshipping in the first place. The OG Death fic. YMarik finds a broken Ryou, and takes him home. The two become friends as YMarik helps patch him up, and Ryou starts to see a different side to the infamous Yami.

Only Mine - by Natoya

Atem, Pharaoh of Egypt, gets a curse cast upon him by a scorned Princess. The curse forces him to become an immortal pleasure slave tethered to a golden box. The stipulations of the curse? To remain a pleasure slave until he finds true love. Fast forward several thousand years to the present, and Yugi happens upon an ancient golden box that just might contain the man of his dreams. This fic is an oldie but goody. A fun romantic romp, with great humor, spicy romance, and indulgent tropes/cliches of the best kind. A very fun read. Puzzleshipping.

Royal Tricks - by L.C.Burrows

Yugi is a prince betrothed to a Princess from a neighboring Kingdom. Atem is King Solomon’s best Knight. When Atem is assigned to train/tutor Prince Yugi in combat, the two begin discovering feelings for the other. Forbidden feelings. Prince/Knight romance. Just one of my all time favs. Gave me all the feels, and took me on the best ride. Puzzleshipping all the way.

Lessons in Fear - by Milessqueak

Yugi takes a temporary gig, working at a summer camp in the spring to get it cleaned and set up for use in the summer. He meets a stranger named Atem, who is oddly enough, also there to clean up the camp. Amidst paranormal and suspicious happenings the two manage to become friends and uncover the sordid history of the camp, including the string of murders that took place over the last decade. But who is responsible, and is Yugi in danger now? This fic is fantastic, has incredible atmosphere and setting descriptions. The tension and spookiness are off the charts. I wouldn’t describe it as outright horror, but it’s definitely in the Chiller category. And great Puzzleshipping romance to boot.

Fear is Only Skin Deep - Tsurenaii

Yugi loses a bet and ends up in a Tattoo shop to get his ears pierced. But oh no, the guy running the shop is hot and Yugi’s at his mercy. Excellent characterization in this fic, brilliant writing, even lovelier dialogue. This fic is amazing, and you should check it out. I couldn’t recommend this one enough. Some top notch Puzzleshipping.

So… - QueenBastest

A feel good slice of life story. Yugi and Atem explore their new relationship both emotionally and physically. It’s a delightful romp, fluffy, and sweet, and spicy. Lots of sexy moments. The exact type of story I like to comfort read. Starts off fluffy and sweet and gets a little turbulent with drama when Yugi starts working on a secret project with his friends, a surprise for Atem. Love this story. Major Puzzleshipping.

Only Ghosts - Thepigeonqueen

A beautiful story about Shadi taking a trip inside Pegasus’s soul room. The two end up stranded in there when Funny Bunny steals Shadi’s key, and along the way make discoveries about themselves and each other. It’s delightful seeing Pegasus both grow and having grown as a character. And PigeonQueen writes the best damn version of Shadi I’ve ever seen. Like their interpretation of him 100% changed my feelings toward the character. It’s a fun and amazing story, and you should check it out. Definitely the first and most favorite Twistedshipping fic I’ve ever read.

Series:

Boundingshipping AU - by Sadistikitteh

Bakura has a huge fight with Malik, and ends up staying with Yugi because he has nowhere else to go. Yugi, the sweet little bean that he is, gives Bakura a place to crash and starts to learn more about Bakura as things get sweet and cute. Then FEELS start happening. It’s so good. And I love this series to death. Boundshipping.

Egyptology Exercises - by Nedjemet

A spectacular retelling of Yu-Gi-Oh! DM, but with 90% less card games and 90% more Egyptology and accuracy. Also it’s Puzzleshipping, and gives you all the wholesome and romantic interactions between the puzzle boys you were longing for in the original YGO. I’m loving this fic, and it really breaths new life and perspective into the series.

~

I’ll update this list as I find/rediscover more fics to add.

[shamurph]

BLACK FRIDAY MUSICAL RP MEME

taken from the starkid horror comedy musical black friday (2020). change pronouns/wording as necessary. tw for swearing and mentions of violence and cults

‘ you know how i feel about that musical commercial. i don’t like it. ‘

‘ god, what even is a cabbage patch kid? it’s like you’re cutting into a head of lettuce and ‘oh shit, a baby!’ it’s like i wanted a salad, but now i have a child. ‘

‘ i do not get flashbacks. i remember bad things vividly. ‘

‘ he still lights up a room. it's just less frequently that you catch him in bloom. ‘

‘ yeah, well, if i don't support my drinking habit, who will? ‘

‘ oh great, now we gotta talk to the imaginary spider from outer space. ‘

‘ i'd make a great dad, i'm just saying. ‘

‘ i’d say you did your best, but i’m not a liar. ‘

‘ you know full well why you're not allowed inside. because you're not to step within 1,000 feet of a cinnabon, ____. no, i don't believe that you just want to smell them. ‘

‘ that’s called a bribe and it’s illegal! ... or it should be. ‘

‘ and that's why you disgust me. not because you're so naive, because you're so weak. ‘

‘ oh my god, it’s a trainwreck. ‘

‘ i hope you have your finances in order. get ready for audits, audits up your ears audits in your yinyang, audits out your wazoo! ‘

‘ sorry, pal, the price just went up! supply and demand is a wonderful thing! ‘

‘  you never should settle for the lifetime that is handed to you. ‘

‘ stay back, whoever you are, i have pepper spray, and i use it more than you could ever imagine. ‘

‘ i want what everybody wants, to be loved. is that a crime? ‘

‘ we're a fairly small team, just me and a few of my peeps. ‘

‘ there are monsters and there are men. ‘

‘ what the fuck am i watching? ‘

‘  after that, i didn't go to any more parties. ‘

‘ he chased me out of the house and into the woods. he was the one who brought the knife. ‘

‘ so, ___, you've got to forgive yourself. 'cause if you don't, how's anyone ever gonna forgive me? ‘

‘ you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory. ‘

‘ you don't look the same at all as i remember. ‘

‘ i dislike that word, ____, cult. no, it's a new and exciting religion that i started. ‘

‘ i've met god, he had nothing nice to say about you. ‘

‘ no, no, guys, while i don't want you to think for yourselves, i still want you to know what i mean when i say my evil shit, 'kay? ‘

‘ aw, don't worry, kid, we don't get tricked. we're grownups. ‘

‘ the poorer get poorer, and the rich, well, they just get richer. ‘

‘ no, that's not true, i can't be evil. i'm a status quo democrat! ‘

‘ you're not dead yet. ‘

‘ i've had shitty day, and i'd appreciate it if you got that goddamn gun outta my face. ‘

‘ they're all into fortnite, dude. ‘

‘ i mean, you're, like, 40, you probably think your life is over! ‘

‘ i failed you once, but i won't fail again. ‘ 

‘ you think this is going to protect you, a magic hat? that's ridiculous, only dolls are magic! ‘

‘ look at you, you're paralyzed with fear! ‘

‘ no. i'm just lining up my shot. ‘

‘ you know, i have this kooky, reclusive biology professor. ‘

‘ wear a watch. ‘

‘ i feel like if we can survive today, we can survive anything. ‘

[vidalinav]

Nessian Headcanon #12: Family Edition

Since I keep seeing baby headcanons I wanted to make a list of my own :D which I’ve briefly touched on in other posts but...

Cassian and Nesta have a boatload of children (5 at the end of it all I think). The others start joking that they’re building their own army. But what really happens is that they end up taking in many children over the years because they travel often with the work they do and they see so many conditions and there’s wars and all sorts of circumstances. It’s inevitable that kids don’t have homes but they have a giant house and unending resources and the House is like a big nanny itself so they think it’s fate. 

Nesta is actually the one who brings most of the children home. The first one is a 9 year old girl, who is the angriest kid alive. Has something to do with the plot of a story I’m writing, but Nesta is basically entrusted with this kid. She’s the grand niece of someone she ends up knowing and she’s pretty magically powerful so her family would have ate her alive, so she’s asked to keep her safe and whatnot. Her name is Magda but she goes by Maggie. She does not like Cassian whatsoever in the beginning, and she is horribly rude to Nesta. But Nesta does not care at all, she’s like okay get it out, say worse. Like she’s so chill, because she knows how it feels to be that angry. Maggie and Nesta end up being really close to the point where Maggie does not like being away from Nesta and gets very protective of her even to other members of the IC. She’ll fight first and ask questions later. Cassian and her form a bond actually not by fighting at all, but because Maggie does so many experiments that end up going awry. She’s a fae and has got magic up the wazoo and she’s a book nerd, and she’s kind of a trouble maker, and Cassian thrives. He loves her because she’s like a smaller more diabolical version of Nesta. The House is amused by their antics usually. 

Nesta ends up getting pregnant for their second child and this kid is the only one they actually have on their own. Her name is Lyra, and Maggie thinks that it’s hilarious that Cassian lives in a house with all girls. Maggie is about 12 when they have her, and Maggie at first does not take kindly to Lyra, because she starts feeling like they have their own family and she’s just the kid who eventually is going to have to go back to her other family (because that’s a plot too that I won’t go into to) but they try so much to include her, because Maggie is their child. No question. Nesta ends up telling Cassian that she’s pregnant by giving him an enchanted painting, which is the work of all three Archeron sisters. Elain for seeing what the child would look like, Feyre for painting, and Nesta for enchanting it so that if they have more children the picture will get bigger and there will be room for Feyre to paint the others. So one big family portrait. In that picture, Maggie is tucked in between the two with the baby/toddler. Dark hair, big blue eyes... maybe hazel. Maybe one of each (I’m really not sure). The best parts of both Nesta and Cassian though. She’s so gorgeous. Prettiest little girl. But yeah going back to Maggie, they ask her during this picture time (probably solstice present time) if Maggie wants to be an Archeron. (Another headcanon for another time, but Cassian marries Nesta too and becomes an Acheron). So, does she want to do this? Absolutely, and at this point she already start calling them mom and dad and just referring to them as such, so that’s their kiddos. 

Third and fourth are siblings. They’re from the continent. Maggie is 14, Lyra is close to 2. The siblings are brought by Nesta who is doing some thing that I cannot say because I have not made it up yet, but she finds them at the scene of a Massacre in hiding. The oldest is close to 6, the other is probably 1-ish. The oldest will not let them take the baby from her. The baby is a boy. They don’t speak the common tongue, which is any issue, but they hire a tutor to both talk to the little girl and then also to teach them ALL (everyone in their household) the language that the two siblings speak as well as teach them how to speak the common Prythrian language. So everyone ends up learning. The little girl is taken under the wing of Maggie, who is the perfect older sister/camp counselor as she likes to refer to herself after there’s more kids. They don’t know her name for the LONGEST time, because she won’t speak at all, but she ends up loving Cassian because he makes her laugh and he brings her a thousand stuffed bears because at one point she won’t stop crying and he brings them home and makes funny voices with them, and carries her on his shoulders, and she has the sweetest giggle. But eventually they end up naming her Ursella which she ends up going by Ella when she gets older, because her nickname with Cassian is little bear. They do ask her later when she talks if she remembers her old name and her birthday since they don’t know, but she doesn’t say that she does, which may be a lie, but Ella happily goes by Ella, and they give her a choice to choose one random day in the year to be her birthday, but she chooses to celebrate her birthday on the day they brought her in. She calls it her re-birthday.

The baby boy they name Nico. It’s actually a common Illyrian name and Cassian knows that the little boy is technically not Illyrian but it is his first son, and he really wants to give him that piece of him. Cassian does ask him when he’s about 10 if he’d prefer a name that’s based on his own culture, because they make sure that’s very integrated in their home life, because of course Cassian loves his culture and Nesta has that anthropological eye, so she knows and learns so much and they just love their children so much that they want all of them, every piece that they come with. But Nico likes his name, and he’s his dads through and through. But he LOVES Nesta. He’s a momma’s boy for sure, which I guess just makes him similar to Cassian. He does not like learning though, so Nesta usually has to teach him herself instead of having tutors, and she spends extra time with him going through his lessons. Lyra and him grow up together closer to age, so they pick on each other A LOT, but ultimately they grow up to have that relationship like I can pick on you but no one else can. They’re super close. If you want one, you find the other. They both will be together somewhere making a mess of things. Ella is the one who usually is like would you please be loud somewhere else. She ends up getting into music--playing instruments and so she generally prefers quietness to study and practice. Violin is her forte. 

The next boy comes about 4 yrs later. Maggie is 18, Lyra is 6, Nico is 5/6 ish. Ella is 10. The boy is about 12. He’s Illyrian and Cassian finds him this time and takes him to Nesta first, but Nesta is like why are you asking lol this is our new son. He’s a “bastard” unfortunately. I hate that word. But he has learned to fight, Cassian found him in the fighting pits in an Illyrian camp a couple hours away from Windhaven, and the situation was so much like his except this kid was never given a home like he was. So, he spent a good couple of weeks trying to get on his good side enough for him to trust him and to want to go someplace safer and warm. He hates Cassian a lot at first... while at the same time being like you’re the hero I’ve heard about. So admiration but also a touch of resentment and anger at the world. Cassian doesn’t know what to do with that, because still to the day he does not handle emotion like Nesta does. He understands it but he doesn’t know what to say, what to do, his go to is always training, but training is not what this child needs. So again, this is Nesta’s forte. Interestingly enough, she’s very gentle with kids. She’s empathetic, soft, but not condescending. She gives everyone the same respect so it helps a lot when he sees that and he’s never had a mom before who tucks him in or makes sure he’s feeling well. His name is Julian. I forgot that part and it turns out he’s HATES fighting. But he really likes plants. So he ends up spending a lot of time with Elain when she visits. He’s fascinated by them and ends up having his own garden. But because Nesta is magical in this headcanon (because she’s more witchy in my fics) he learns A LOT about poisons. Not because Nesta teaches him, but because he finds her books and reads them and starts growing them. This becomes a problem, because when Julian doesn’t like his tutors or teachers, he starts trying to poison them. Like not killing them, but he knows which will give stomach aches, which will give rashes. Nesta is both proud and reprimanding. 

I do feel like they might have more, but I don’t know for now I feel this is good for their set family. Five in total for their first gaggle of children lol. But all of them are asked if they want to be an Archeron. All of them say yes. All of them have each other’s back even if they have screaming matches on the daily. The house is mostly chaotic at all times but the House loves having people in it and laughing and being filled to the brim with stuffed animals and train sets and plants and music and family members coming in and out since Nyx visits often because he’s an only child for a very long time with Feyre taking more of a position in court rulings and Rhysand just being generally busy because you know High Lord/High Lady stuff. I don’t see Feyre being a stay at home mom but I also don’t see Rhys being a stay at home dad, but they’re also rulers so I peg them for both being working parents, which they feel guilty about A LOT at first, and it’s something that they struggle with in the confines of their own identities and their relationship, because they love Nyx and they know they’re parents but that’s not all they are, and without having the gender role of one parent staying home it’s very difficult for them to both rule, but Rhys does not want to stop being a high lord and Feyre is bored too often and she wants to rule and she knows she can, and she has that title for a reason and wants to utilize it. So it’s a hard time, with lots of arguments, but Nyx ends up mostly going with Cassian for a good amount of the day when he’s older and they have more kids in the house, and Nyx doesn’t really know that Feyre and Rhys had this problem, because he’d just prefer to be around the other kids and it ends up working really well. 

Cassian ends up being more of the stay at home parent. I don’t know why but I feel he just gives me that vibe where forget the courtier business, if there’s no war and if the armies are generally taken care of which he does, he wants to stay home and raise his kids, which is very surprising since he’s the one who doesn’t ever take vacations. He wants to be there for every moment no matter how awkward or loud. That’s his family and he’s waited so long for them, and it’s not even about him not having that family early on, it’s because he genuinely would rather be with his kids. He’s the one who as soon as they got the siblings was like I’m going to have to take a step back, because he saw his kids every day but he just didn’t want to be away for long periods of time, and at that point he’d already taken several steps back on working, so it became more of a done deal then. He still is the general, but he gives more responsibility to Devlon and to other people he’s trained over the years to step up. So generally, Cassian will work a couple of days a week for a couple of hours or just go quickly in the evenings, go over reports if the kids are in class with their teachers, and more during certain times of the year, but he’s generally more of a family man. 

Nesta in my fic/headcanon ends up being a queen as well as a leader of the witches and the founder/leader of the Valkyrie and she owns a shipping company and she’s the cauldron’s guardian which don’t ask me to explain, it’s in this fic I’ve barely written. But she’s a “I can bake the cake and eat it too” type of person to me, and because of her magic it is easy for her to do it all because it’s like a full time job. She goes home after a certain hour and she’s back with her kiddos, and most of her jobs have other people who have a handle on things as well. So she’s not an island, but she loves having the purpose and the drive, because as much as she did like being in the library and being in Velaris and having that day to day slice of life, she likes and yearns for adventure. She’s a go-getter and is not necessarily ambitious for power, but she’s got the whole world to discover and she can have anything she’s willing to work for. She wants to be and see it all. Cassian is endlessly proud of her and is like that’s my mate, my wife. My mate. My wife. And they both end up getting what they want without having to sacrifice their own ideals. Their marriage is a collaboration and it ends up working phenomenally for the two of them and their children. 

But ultimately it’s really the House that makes it possible. Because who cooks food and cleans and supplies every need and wish and whatnot? The House. Who baby proofs? The House. The House is like I’ve always wanted a big family and boy does it get a big family. 

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Through the power of magical shenanigans: Geralt and his little fairy wife end up meeting Lost Boy Jaskier and terrifyingly grumpy Fairy Geralt. How do you think they would react to their counterparts?

I think Jaskier Pan would be delighted by Fairy Jaskier. They’d get along like a house on fire. Shenanigans out the wazoo. Dangerous levels of chaotic potential here.

Witcher Geralt and Jaskier Pan would warm up to each other after awhile, I’m sure. It’d definitely take a minute.

Fairy Geralt and Fairy Jaskier have a tenuous truce, since neither of them want to give up their Taller, Human-Shaped Person. They won’t actively spend time alone together but they can get along as a group.

Fairy Geralt is exceedingly protective and possessive, and since fairies can only have one feeling at a time, he detests Witcher Geralt. Unless the bigger version of himself stays far away from Jaskier Pan, in which case he’s fine.

[itsthegameilike]

Best Books of 2020

Hi all! As always, I read some banger books this year and I like to do my best to get like everyone in the world to read them, because they’re deserving and being an author is hard. So, without further ado, here are the books that made my year! There Will Come a Darkness/As the Shadow Rises--Katy Rose Pool A pretty standard fantasy YA fare, but a step above in character and entertainment. There’s a world-ending prophecy, of course, and a collection of kids trying to save the day, but the world building is excellent and the plot develops from the characters and their relationships, not the other way around. I have characters I would die for and the second book in the series didn’t fall into the typical mid series lag. 8/10. The Lost Future of Pepperharrow--Natasha Pulley This was a follow up to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, which is another of my personal favorites, and this did not disappoint. I, in fact, like it better than the first. Set in Japan in the late 1800s, it is part ghost story and mystery, as Thaniel’s--the main character--love interest goes missing, his past having caught up to him. Thaniel is so relatable and his devotion and relationship with Mori could carry me through like forty more books exactly like this. I don’t want to give it away, but it’s one of the most satisfying historical fiction queer relationships I’ve ever read. 10/10.

The Vanished Birds--Simon Jimenez A space odyssey story that hits closer to home for me than most do, as I’m not typically a science fiction fan. There are aspects of time and space travel, leaving the main character outside of normal space and time, meaning most of her friends have aged and died past her. Eventually, she meets a boy, lost and alone, and grudgingly takes him in. They form a bond, but he has a secret and it ends up wrecking her ship, her crew, etc. but she does her best to keep him safe anyway. The plot is incredible, lots of twists and turns--the good kind--and I’m more than a slut for found family stories, so here we are. 9/10.

Upstream--Mary Oliver This is an essay collection by Mary Oliver and like everything by her, it changed my life just a little. Before this year, I wasn’t reading her every day and now I am. She offers much needed perspective and the tools for self healing and this short essay collection is such a simple way to get started. I loved it to pieces, just as I love her. 10/10.

The Autobiography of Red--Anne Carson I read a fuckton of Anne Carson this year. I encountered her on this site and decided to read as much as I could and I have no regrets. This was my favorite by her, but they’re all so so so good. This is a modern retelling of a Greek myth starring Herakles and Geryon, centered on their relationship and Geryon’s journey to discovering his own power. There are times when it is incredibly harrowing, but I stopped like every two pages just to process her way with words. This is the most English major offering of the year, as it works heavily in metaphor and allegory--and is also poetry--but it is worth it. 10/10. P.S. If you’re looking for more Anne Carson, I also highly recommend The Beauty of the Husband.

This is How You Lose the Time War--Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone God, I loved this book. Maybe the surprise of the year for me. The writing is absolutely gorgeous and the tropes are some of my favorites. Two women on opposite sides of a war who fall in love with each other through hidden messages and a happy-ish ending. Though it is more vignettes than an actual plot--that being said, the ending comes through--it still affected me intensely. 9/10.

The House in the Cerulean Sea--T.J. Klune Read this book, please. Please, please, please. It is the comfort you need, I promise. It’s about a weary man, stuck in the hell cycle of capitalism, who is sent on a job to an old, rickety house owned by a man who takes care of magical creatures/children than no one else will take care of. They fall in love and the mc finds a family and begins to enjoy his life. The relationship is so healing and cute and I spent half my time screaming and the other half crying. 10/10.

Gideon the Ninth/Harrow the Ninth--Tamsyn Muir I do not even know where to begin talking about these. They’re weird, hilarious, morbid, and absolutely wonderful. I would die for both mc’s, who are definitely halfway through an incredible enemies-friends-lovers plot, and this book surprised me with plot twists more than once. There are necromancers and bones and sacrifices and threesomes with God and queer characters up the wazoo and old, dangerous ruins and space and ugh. I reread these almost the second I finished--both of them--and I know I’ll need to reread before the last book comes out. 10/10.

Tell the Wolves I’m Home--Carol Rifka Brunt I gave this to every member of my family to read, almost directly after I sobbed for like forty-five minutes at the end. It’s from the POV of a young girl whose uncle dies of AIDS and can’t find comfort in her own family, because they didn’t like him nearly as much as she did. She becomes friends with the boyfriend he left behind and they heal each other through their friendship. It wrecked me and put me back together. 10/10.

These Violent Delights--Chloe Gong This book is a retelling of Romeo & Juliet in Shanghai...loosely. But it’s such a good read. Shanghai is so visceral it’s practically it’s own character and the threat of the monster lose in the city is genuinely terrifying. Juliette and Roma were together at one point, then broke up after a betrayal, and when they come back together to save the city, it creates such an interesting character dynamic that never lost my interest. Lots and lots of props too to the relationship between the Benvolio & Mercutio counterparts. I cannot wait for the continuation of that in the next book. Just...so good. 9/10.

Honorable Mentions: A Deadly Education-Naomi Novak, The Only Good Indians-Stephen Graham Jones, The Memory of Babel-Christelle Dabos (only here because it’s the 3rd book in a series, it’s a 10/10), Black Leopard Red Wolf-Marlon James, The Eye of the Heron-Ursula K Le Guin, and Fifty Words for Rain-Asha Lemmie

[cricketnationrise]

quarantine reads part 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

76. The Countess Conspiracy by Courtney Milan: book 3 of the brothers sinister romance series. you absolutely DO NOT need to read these in order. i certainly didn’t. also. its a romance novel. there is sex.

77. Joy: And 52 Other Very Short Stories by Erin McGraw: short story collection. some of these are less than a page long. ideal reading for only having like 5 mins.

78. One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean: did i get this from the library because of the title? yes. is it a fantastic story? also yes. book 2 in the rules of scoundrels series. romance novel. there is sex.

79. The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman: magical library world at the heart of multiple universe has agents that retrieve unique works. featured universe is a sort of victorian england plus elves and werewolves and vampires and dragons and magic and this book is FANTASTIC. still need to get the others because IT IS A SERIES BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP

80. The Rogue Pirate’s Bride by Shana Galen: book 3 of the sons of the revolution series. look i like romance novels. i especially like that you don’t have to read them in order. its a romance novel. there is sex. also PIRATES and the leads saving each other’s lives.

81. The Queens of Animation: The Untold Story of the Women Who Transformed the World of Disney and Made Cinematic History by Nathalia Holt: non-fiction look at the history of disney animation via the women who worked there. lots of details i didn’t know. chapters are movies rather than years.

82. The Man Who Loved Books Too Much by Allison Hoover Bartlett: bit of a misnomer since the guy is straight up stealing rare books with credit card fraud. he just thinks he’s being gentlemanly by amassing these books. it started off as a feature article and it shows.

83. We’re Here, We’re Here by KM Szpara: tor.com short story, 2 members of a boy band fall in love. management doesn’t like that so starts to control/manipulate the implants they put iN THEIR VOICE BOXES AHHH

84. The Night Soil Salvagers by Gregory Norman Bossert: tor.com short story, cool story telling form with in-world songs/poetry/recipes, very poetic writing

85. The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt: two brothers are hitmen get hired for a job. one of the brothers is really excited, the other starts to contemplate a different life, gold rush era california/western USA, horses, violent, seriously at least one person is killed in every chapter. at one point they burn down a whole lodge. cw: harm to animals, murder, starvation

86. The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin: classic piece of writing about the Black Male experience in the united states

87. The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper by Phaedra Patrick: lonely old man goes on scavenger hunt to find the meanings behind the charms on a bracelet he finds in his dead wife’s closet. travels all around UK and paris and makes friends near and far.

88. The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep by HG Parry: some people can read characters out of books. i repeat. CHARACTERS CAN COME OUT OF THEIR BOOKS. theres a whole diagonalley esq space that houses characters that can’t go back. chaos and danger ensue when uriah heep refuses to go back into his book. magic!

89. Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett: #11 in the discworld series, DEATH gets tired of doing all the things and decides to retire.

90. Death and What Comes Next by Terry Pratchett:  discworld short story

91. Love and Other Foreign Words by Erin McCahan: girls life is about to change when her sister is proposed to, very gifted, coming of age, crush on her teacher, endgame is her/her best friend who is a guy and has clearly been pining THE WHOLE TIME

92. Pioneer Girl: The Annotated Autobiography by Laura Ingalls Wilder:  i love the little house books and this was the first non-fictionalized account of her life i’ve read. the introduction by the editor was especially cool/helpful to read, lots of photos and drawings

93. Exhalation by Ted Chiang: this might be my favorite book of all quarantine. and i read a lot of books. a collection of short stories that all fucked me up, but in a good way? title story contains the sentence, “It’s no coincidence that “aspiration” means both hope and the act of breathing.” which like, how dare you sir

94. Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell: book 2 in the simon snow series, which is a fantasy series created by rowell in her novel Fangirl. She then proceeded to write fanfic of this already fictional series. i’m in love with the meta. 3rd book out in 2021.

95. Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward: set in mississippi before/during/after hurricane katrina hits, follows one family through the eyes of the daughter. tw: sexual assault, dog fighting, harm to dogs, death of dog

96. The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce: was still doing my Emelan reread. 4 protags reunite to help out Sandry as she goes to Namorn to deal with her estate and her cousin the empress. whether they will be allowed to leave is another story

97. The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner: book 3 in the queen’s thief series, seriously, go back and read from the beginning. political machinations of the king from a (Mostly) outside POV. the gods are always closer than you think

98. The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson: a very Spanish vibe fantasy novel. book 1 in a series. chosen one trope. new queen stumbles into the resistance. magic!

99. The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley: first book in a mystery series. a young teen girl is super into chemistry in 1950′s england countryside. someone is murdered in her garden. she tries to figure out what happened because her dad is still shell shocked. cw: kidnapping, harm to children

100. A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White: first in the salvagers trilogy. motley crew turns into found family on a space ship. in this world almost everyone has magic. older female protagonist. queer representation out the wazoo, SPACE. boots just wants to brew her beer and be left alone.

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

1, 7, 20 and 30 for the Snape asks?

Omg first of all,,, thank u for sending these :-)

1: my fav thing about snape is how utterly competent and skilled he is. He is a master in his field, is one of the most skilled magic users in the series, can fly without a broom and has mastered the mind arts to the point where the most skilled Legilimens (aka voldie) can’t tell when he’s fibbing. Also his magical power levels and spell making abilities are just *chefs kiss* he is so competent with magic in general that he could actually probably be called upon to substitute for pretty much any of the core hogwarts classes, and possibly even some of the electives. His knowledge is vast and plentiful and deep, and if he’d been given time or space to live his life outside of hogwarts and the orbit of his two masters, I truly believe he would have been at the forefront of multiple magical discoveries and advancements in potions and spell crafting and healing and herbology. His brain is big and sexy and bumpy as fuck, and I adore him for it.

7: Buttons vs Velcro is THE snape discourse. I love the aesthetic of buttons, for the goth drama, but Velcro has so many amazing possibilities that I just don’t know. He spills a nasty potion on his pants? Don’t worry, they’re Velcro! He just rips them off in one go! He wears robes so overly long partly because they’re ✨dramatic✨ but mostly to cover up the fact that he’s wearing Velcro light up sneakers on his feet. That might also be wheelies. Because, reasons. But anyways, no one ever talks about the fact that all of his clothing could use laces instead. Lace up boots, lace up shirts, lace up pants. This is purely for aesthetic reasons too though, like with the buttons. I still think Velcro has the most comedic value, so I guess that’s my answer.

20: If I could tell Snape just one thing, it would definitely depend on when exactly I’m telling him. If he was a kid, I’d tell him to socialize outside of his house with kids from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, to widen his social circle. It would make it harder to be influenced by pureblood death eater rhetoric, and it would also give him people to fall back on when Lily wasn’t an option. If he was an adult pre series, I’d tell him that there isn’t any expiration date on personal guilt, but the only person who can forgive him is himself, not the ghosts of the dead or Albus Dumbledore, no matter how much of a god complex that man has. No one and nothing outside of his own mind and conscience can or is responsible for absolving him, and if he can’t do it then like, please go to therapy. If it was during the series, I’d probably just tell him to straight up quit his job and go to Canada or something. Fuck Dumbledore and fuck the war and fuck everything. Especially fuck British wizarding society, because that shit is awful and classist and corrupt out the wazoo. Also I mean, the man deserves a break.

30: Snape Does Not Fuck, but if u want him to then who am I to deny it? Personally, he is a sex positive asexual who is in a romantic polyamorous relationship with Narcissa and Lucius. Snucissa is my favourite thing and is also canon no matter what anybody tries to tell me, and I wish there was more content for it but alas. Guess I’ll just have to keep creating content for myself, since so many people are so extremely polyam phobic it’s ridiculous.

[fullyfunctionalapprentice]

Let's dooooo... 🍊, 🥒, and 🌧 for both - I hope those are fun for you to answer for them. <3

Orange (raspberry/tangerine - what do they like most about themselves): I'm going with a self-relation sort of love here; something about their relationship to themselves, rather than something about their relationship to others.

Aleis lives their own physicality. A lifetime of martial arts, dancing, and magic that involves both of these, have given them both the strength one would expect of their build, as well as flexibility, endurance and precision of movement - and they love all of it with the fierce ardour of someone who lives wholeheartedly in the moment. Whether it is magic, sparring, dance, parkour, or sex, they love the skill and the exertion of being.

Turel loves his curiosity. It is, to him, the root of him; not just of his ceaseless creativity, or his frankly surreal sense of humour, or the precision of his workmanship, but of his approach to life. Instead of any loquaciousness at all, he might joke (usually in ink, or in sign,) he got a double serving of listening - and of observation, in general. Rather than binaries of big picture/small picture, important/not important, he thinks more in terms of patterns - not geometric and unbreakable, but interconnected parts, like the fractal branching of a tree or river, or the golden spiral of a nautilus. Everything is involved with everything else and he's interested in *all of it*. Tell him about esoteric music theories! Teach him some incredibly niche skill for a hobby that, like, you and two other people in all of Vesuvia do! Marvel at his patience as he spends literally all day observing a mushroom and all the tiny comings and goings of all the near-invisible creatures that interact with it! There's something to learn from everyone and everything, if you have the patience, which he does. He is never bored.

~~~

Cucumber (cucumber melon - what do they do to wind down after a stressful day):

Depending on how buzzy they are, Aleis has options. A basic low level one is "take an indica edible, then either have a wank and a nap, read a book, or noodle around with an art project." The latter two are usually accompanied by a pint or so of stout ale. Higher energy alternatives include any combination of having sex with one or more of their partners, sparring, dancing, swimming, or parkour; or, *not* combined with any of the above, do more labour- and attention-intensive art project things.

If it's sunny and/or hot, they'll definitely opt for the lower-energy options, because they're not feeling their best. If it's hot *and* sunny, they'll escape to their retreat, or their and Lua's shared gate.

Turel is a very low maintenance person. He just??? goes for a long-ass walk??? "Long-ass" here meaning "the walk does not officially begin until he's out of sight of town." Whenever possible, and it isn't like his cryptid ass has a strict schedule, he'll spend the night out in the wild. The guy has wilderness survival skills out the wazoo, so he packs very lightly, if at all. If you have unlocked that ultimate knowing-an-introvert achievement "not counting as people," you may be welcome to accompany him. Ability to physically keep up doesn't matter - taking public transport or whatever to the edge of town is acceptable, and if your company is welcome to begin with, he doesn't need to go any further than you're comfortable with. Be prepared for a lot of silence unless you yourself have a lot of things to say - he's even less talkative when he's unwinding. Then again, if he's this comfortable with you, you're fine with this anyway.

~~~

Rain cloud (eucalyptis rain- how do they like to spend a rainy day):

If it was entirely up to Aleis, and not pesky things like "ecology" and "not being murdered by hoards of vitamin-D deprived people," *every* day would be rainy, so the answer would be "whatever they damn well feel like doing." Needs to be dry? Do it indoors or just bend the rain away from it. They like to go for long walks, frequently ending up at a pub or coffee house, where they'll sketch and drink and maybe chat.

They gain energy from naturally-occurring storms, and won't stay inside if they have any choice in the matter. Basically, they get the zoomies. Then, after they've had a good run/fight/screw/swim, whatever, they'll drink a cold stout in a hot bath by an open window with no lights on.

Turel will, at the very least, open every window available if he's indoors - unless rain would come in and cause damage, of course. If he's working at a forge or workshop with a canvas wall that can be rolled up, he'll do that. The main thing is that he wants to be able to really hear and smell the rain, maybe get a bit damp around the edges. If he isn't working, he'll go for a long, rambling walk, and if there isn't lightning, he'll go swimming. His rain walks are more likely to be long in time than in distance, depending on what catches his attention. He, too, sometimes walks to a pub or coffeehouse to sit by a window or on the patio and sketch or just...watch. People, pigeons, the rain, the light shifting, whatever.

Sometimes he just. Fucking. Lies on the ground in the garden or a field or something? Possibly he is communing with microrhyzal fungi. Who knows. He frequently ends up covered in frogs.

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Goblins

8 Interesting Places

Welcome back to another look at the sprawling chaotic cityscape that is Ravnica! Are you tired of the usual taverns and back alleyways common to all D&D campaigns? Are there buildings and locations a normal city would have that just seem to be missing from the limited maps available in the GGtR? Do you not have time to scour through Ravnican lore on a Wiki? Well fret no more! Here today we have 8 interesting, exciting, and possibly extremely dangerous locations for your Ravnica campaign! As with most lore in this campaign setting transferred over from a trading card game, details are very scarce about these locations; where they are, what goes on there, what they look like, etc. You’re going to be filling in the holes with your own details. As you’re probably getting used to doing by now, when in doubt, make sh*t up.

#1 Udzec Maximum Security Prison

This is the Big House. You don’t end up here for a drunken brawl at the bar, kicking an Azorius Lawmage in the nuts, or being exposed as a Dimir operative in the Orzhov Syndicate. This is where the Azorius put away individuals who have proven themselves to be serious threats to Ravnican society. Such acts range from smashing up Tin Street to disintegrating an entire building to threatening the existence of the entire city of Ravnica!

Udzec is located in the Second Precinct of the 10th District (aka, the map you have to work from). Most of the Second Precinct is firmly Azorius territory. Their Guildhall is there, their offices, their courts, their prisons, their officers and officials. To this degree, the greatest defense measure for Udzec is the fact that breaking out of the prison itself doesn’t mean anything if you can’t get out of the whole precinct before every available Azorius arrester is on you.

#2 The Moon Market

Held only once in every 5 full moons, the pretty obviously named “Moon Market” is the mecca of forbidden wares and contraband. Anything guaranteed to get you arrested for possession of will be in there, as well as other potential buyers who, by the very fact that they are in this blackest of Black Markets, should not be messed with. This is where the nastiest, scariest, and most dangerous individuals come to shop. Rakdos Blood Witches, Golgari Lich Lords, Dimir Assassins, Orzhov Tithe Drinkers, and unaffiliated psychopaths just trying to make the voices happy. Good news, you don’t have to worry about law enforcement here! Bad news, anyone here may try to kill you and your body would never be found.

The market is held in the Sixth Precinct, run predominantly by the Orzhov and the Golgari. It’s a safe bet that half the population here is undead, making wandering around the precinct at night at best a death wish and at worst an undeath wish. This means anyone in your group who is a cleric, paladin, or specializes against undead should stay home. They are not welcome in this market and the very act of showing up is likely enough to cause a TPK.

That said, if you need to find something or someone extremely dangerous, this market is, ironically, a safe bet. And if you don’t find the exact evil you’re looking for, you’ll certainly find others.

#3 Duskmantle

There are two Duskmantles. Like with many Ravnican Guildhalls, the old one has fallen into disrepair and become lost to the passage of time. The original Duskmantle was founded by the Dimir Parun, Szadek, and was among the most well-kept secrets in Ravnica throughout his reign. It is now an even more well-kept secret, being forgotten by all, except perhaps Lazav, the current Dimir Guildmaster. While the Dimir are not the type to be swayed by such things as “nostalgia”, “sentimentality”, or “great history”, they are the type to value information no one else knows. Whose to say what might remain in this former headquarters of espionage and scheming? If you wanted to hide something, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better spot than a hidden underground fortress that literally erases your memories of it when you leave.

As to where it resides, that’s anyone’s guess. The Undercity is as big as (and in some cases even bigger than) the sprawling cityscape on the surface. Compounding this is the fact that the whole Undercity is effectively a deadly labyrinth that even citizens who spend their entire lives (or afterlives) residing in will never fully master. I suppose one could ask Lazav, but several things would need to happen first:

1. Find Lazav, who is specifically designed never to be found unless he wants to be.

2. Confront the ultimate spymaster without him escaping or killing you.

3. Convince an individual who is immune to being charmed, frightened, or scryed to give you one of his most cherished(?) secrets.

4. Trust the word of someone who is incapable of being caught in a lie.

5. Traverse the Undercity’s darkest, most dangerous passages and find one of the most heavily-warded constructions in history.

6. Leave with all the memories you entered with.

So yeah, if you’ve already done six impossible things today, why not take a trip to a gloomy underground cathedral for some treasure hunting?

#4 Catacombs of the Obzedat

Within Orzhova, the opulent Guildhall of the Orzhov Syndicate, there are bejeweled catacombs wherein past & present members of the Ghost Council are interred alongside the wealth and riches they accumulated in their lives. This is where the oldest records and dealings made by the Syndicate are kept, hidden away from all but the Guildmasters. This is the heart of Orzhov power. But even beyond the riches, something even more valuable also exists.

Ancient magic predating even the Guildpact lies within these walls, making it one of the only locations on the plane where the magically binding laws hold no sway. There really is no understating the value of such a place. In a city where the laws are the single most powerful magic in existence, immunity to such magic has value beyond measure. This room is one of the biggest secrets in all of Ravnica.

No matter what sort of campaign or story you’re running, this place is a game-changer. Whether a party is intending to rob it for treasure, use it for acts that break Guildpact laws, break free from an ancient debt, borrow some of its power to take elsewhere, hit the scheming Orzhov where it hurts, or have a climactic showdown without outside interference; this is the place to do it. Getting there is the hard part, and getting out again almost impossible if you raise alarms, but there’s no denying the possible rewards if you succeed.

#5 The Jester’s Crypt

Depending on where one lives, one can occasionally forget that a 30-foot-tall Giant Demon Lord of Chaos roams the streets. Under normal circumstances, this would be cause for great alarm in citizens. However, this is Ravnica, and a living embodiment of mayhem & hedonism is not the worst thing you have to deal with on a regular basis. Odds are you have more to fear from your tax collector than Rakdos the Defiler. The Demon Guildmaster of the cult named for him does whatever he wants, and if nothing going on in the city interests him, he may well stay in his lava pit for months or even years at a time, just sleeping.

Having the demon lord’s attention can be a blessing and a curse. Having his ire, however, is pretty much the worst fate one can suffer on Ravnica. Rakdos does not tolerate anyone stealing his spotlight. If you are the poor soul who does thus, he brings you to the Jester’s Crypt to torture you forever. There are no appeals, no one is coming to rescue you, and the only people you will ever see again are similar individuals to be tortured....and Rakdos himself. It’s a door everyone knows but no one ever asks what’s inside. To do so invites suffering beyond measure.

If you are a player, you do not want to ever see this place. If someone you love/care about is sent here, any rescue is going to take preparation out the wazoo. If you’re looking for a breeding ground for tortured souls and individuals capable of challenging Rakdos the Showstopper, there’s no better place to pull one out of. It’s basically a Big Bad breeding ground for demons and malcontents. Considering the spectrum of sins to get one sentenced here ranges from talking sh*t about Rakdos when you don’t think he can hear, to openly challenging him to a deathmatch for control of the Guild, you can conceivably pull NPCs of any & every CR rating from out of here.

#6 The Red Wastes

The Rubblebelt is Gruul territory that makes up the borders around the entire city. Most of it is composed of broken buildings, smashed pavement, and, predictably, rubble. Beyond the Rubblebelt, however, lie the Red Wastes. These are the true untamed wilds of Ravnica, the last in existence. Meaning this is where the beasties too big for the Gruul to wrangle would roam. Wurms, hydras, elementals, and any other giant monsters one can have in a D&D campaign. Out here there is no law, no Guilds, no backup, no nothing. Forest, desert, grasslands, maybe even some tundra; but that’s it.

If your party needs a break from the city or needs to go hunting for rare animals/plants, this is the place they’d go. Pure, undiscovered wilderness savage enough to withstand any attempts at colonizing for over 10,000 years. Anything could be out here.

#7 The Overgrown Tomb

Deep in the Undercity, sparingly touched by rare beams of outside light, lies the lair of Vraska the Unseen. What may have once been a fountain in a plaza is now an underground mausoleum covered in moss and the petrified remains of Vraska’s victims. Given Vraska can range from an urban legend told around campfires to the deadliest assassin in Ravnica or even the Golgari Guildmaster, this, her most private of secret lairs, is one of the most well-kept secrets in all of Ravnica (lot of those, aren’t there?)

If you’ve found the Overgrown Tomb, Vraska will be seeing you shortly. If she’s in the tomb already, prepare for high tension and a strong possibility of certain death and/or petrification. If she isn’t, that’s possibly worse. Anything stolen from her lair will guarantee you a spot on her “Everyone Should Die the Death They Deserve” List. Odds are, if you stole something, she’ll steal an organ or two in return. Which means either you stay awake for the next month straight and die from exhaustion waiting for her to slither out of the shadows to murder you, or you wait around for her and try to appeal to the better nature of a Gorgon Pirate Assassin Planeswalker to hear you out and not kill you on the spot for invading her lair. If your campaign involves eliminating Vraska, this is likely where the final battle will take place. Plus side, there’s nowhere for the assassin to run, which is what assassins typically try to do. Minus side, you are fighting the deadliest individual in Ravnica in her home.

Regardless of the circumstances that might lead one to the Overgrown Tomb, this is one of the coolest places to see from a player perspective. From a character perspective, it’s one of the most terrifying places to be.

#8 The Implicit Maze

Central to The Dragon’s Maze TCG set from Magic the Gathering’s sequel release to Ravnica is the Implicit Maze, aka the Dragon’s Maze, aka Azor’s Labyrinth, aka the Ravnican Mega Dungeon. The Implicit Maze was designed by the Azorius Parun Azor I, a Sphinx, in the unlikely event the Guildpact was ever broken. Like it was. The maze itself winds and navigates its way through the territory of every Guild, hitting each of the wonderfully drawn Guildgates whose art you can post for your players to admire. It goes underground, above ground, through markets, up buildings, and in & out of the entire city. In short, it goes everywhere.

Given the size of the city and therefore the size of any puzzle path snaking its way throughout, the Implicit Maze is truly gargantuan. One could feasibly set an entire campaign around just navigating it. As far as the actual design of the maze/dungeon, there is none, or at least none that’s been released thus far. Which means one can either design their own labyrinth, or find a maze generator, or even steal layouts from other D&D modules/campaigns and just replace with Ravnican NPCs and features. Whatever floats your boat.

If you need a dungeon or even a mega dungeon, this is it. Plus, it’s designed by a Sphinx, who are notorious for being way too smart for anyone’s good (even their own), so it could conceivably have or do anything. It can be whatever sort of puzzle you need for whatever sort of character is tackling it. After all, every Guild’s champion navigated it successfully, from the brilliant mental magic planeswalker Jace Beleren to Ruric Thar the two-headed giant who negotiates corrupt authorities by smashing them with a big club.