#making colloidal silver

[publicdomainbooksdevotee]

Why does searching for sap sago cheese keep sending me to ancient websites. I checked the source code for one of them and it was made with Microsoft FrontPage 5.0. It's still up.

[funeralprocessor]

I personally think the Nox aren't naturally grey. Overexposure to colloidal silver makes you bluish grey

And the Nox of the eternal cities make heavy use of silver tears. I don't think it's unreasonable to think it's turned them grey

The ancestral followers are *also* grey, which to me seems to point to it being an environmental factor, and if it is the silver tears (or whatever process produces them) I can only assume it's not a contamination limited to the cities themselves.

[blackbackedjackal]

This dogblud stuff is so depressing, I hope you get to restart the project soon! I've been orbiting the werewolf community for a while and was thinking of finally putting pen to paper with my own werewolf comic, but there's always going to be people like dog who ruin the fun. Obligatory werewolf oc lore I suppose, I've been toying with the idea of a deconstruction of 'omegaverse'-esque fiction, featuring a werewolf cult-pack that finally drives one of its omegas to the point they poison everyone with colloidal silver and go on the run. I would love to explore the misogyny, bioessentialism, and cissexism so ingrained in the subgenre

I actually had some really good talks with a few friends the past couple days and Strawberry Moon is deffo still on the table and I'm really excited about the future of the project! If anything I learned a lot from my experience with Dog, and it's gotten me more motivated than ever to restart the studio project when I have the time.

That honestly sounds really cool and I wish you luck! I love hearing that there's more people breaking down the sub-genre of werewolves and making it more palatable to a wider audience. There's a lot of nuance to work around with those topics that I can see being really interesting in practice!

[theehorsepusssy]

I was watching a tv show about some lady who quit her job at the MacDonalds and ditched all her bastard kids to do a lot of drugs and suck a lot of dick and Im all "Fuck Yeah" but then she becomes a youtube whore and starts selling colloidal silver to the Q non tards befoire she drinks herself to death and the qanon kids mummify her while they watch Mrs Doubtfire while vaping reasearch chemicals or some shit. there are a few laugh out loud funny moments that make you wonder if this scripted but i wikipediad it and it really happened. i only got through one episode cuz it got pretty tedious by that point

[communistkenobi]

I’ve been re-listening to the Alex Jones depositions, as well as coverage of Jones generally, from the Knowledge Fight podcast, and in one of their episodes where they’re covering Jones’ evolving rhetoric about COVID-19, one of the hosts makes the argument that Jones was trying to downplay the virus but still keep people afraid of it, because if his audience was too scared they may be more inclined to follow public health guidelines, so Jones was pushing anti-vaxx and anti-public health sentiments in order to scare people just enough to buy his survival meal packs and colloidal silver toothpaste instead.

And I think this is a really good way to approach discussions of modern american fascism and reactionary thought - the perfect marriage between anti-intellectualism and the logic of capitalism. Every time you hear an absurd reactionary claim about covid, these are not claims about reality, they are advertisements for right wing wealth accumulation. Which is of course conducted with the long term goal of building right wing power and justifying the disenfranchisement and oppression of marginal populations, but these “problems” are framed in such a way as to encourage a consumerist solution. Their undergirding logic is capitalistic in nature - the idea that you can give your money to an authority in exchange for salvation, which comes in the form of a standardised unit of metal-infused toothpaste or vitamin pills.

This view also makes it much easier to understand why people were taking horse heart dewormer to treat covid - even if they were buying that shit in a local store and the people peddling it (like Jones) don’t directly financially benefit from it, the claim that you can individually purchase your way out of a global pandemic still benefits the right wing, because it’s the direct opposite of broad public health initiatives like free vaccinations and social distancing guidelines, which is viewed as a form of communism. Something I don’t actually disagree with (the logic of these public health programmes is basically socialist in nature, even if the government doing it is anti-communist) but this framing prevents people from ever accepting any kind of government social program, instead flocking to the right wing, who plaster promises of eternal life on their billboards

[tauforged]

GET THESE GUYS AWAY FROM ME THEY LOOK LIKE RHEYVE BEEN INGESTING COLLOIDAL SILVER. OROKIN ERA ASS MEN. WHY ARE THEY CARESSING EACHOTHER WHILE MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH ME. I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!

[theblissfulstars]

Astrological Charms to bring luck and avoid misfortune.

Sun-

Fire

1st: wearing gold, sunflower, or sun shaped jewelry on the face or head

5th: making art about the Sun, donating something solar to a children's center, wearing a golden heart

9th: praying to the Sun, traveling to sunny places, praying to child gods

Aries: wearing gold crowns or head pieces, wearing Gold glyph of your sun sign, having a solar-themed knife

Leo: wearing gold, Amber jewelry over the heart, wearing a gold glyph of your sun sign,

Sagittarius: wearing golden spiritual symbols (gold crucifix for instance), meditating on the nature of light, wearing gold pants, wearing a gold glyph of your sun sign.

Earth

2nd: wearing gold necklaces and chokers, keeping gold coins on your person, singing to the Sun,

6th: eating foods ruled by the Sun, helping a child with an everyday task, taking gold oil

10th: spreading collective merriment, wearing a gold tooth, branding with solar imagery and or working at a place associated with light and children

Taurus:wearing gold necklaces and chokers, using gold mirror, wearing a gold glyph of Taurus

Virgo: wearing gold rings on the ring finger, taking gold oil, wearing a gold glyph of Virgo

Capricorn:wearing highlighter on the cheekbones, wearing gold oil on the joints, wearing a gold glyph of Capricorn

Air

3rd: wearing gold rings, using solar-based aromatherapy, be generous with dominant sibling

7th: wearing a golden scale, pursuing justice, using a gold mirror

11th wearing gold ankle jewelry, participating in community theater, imagining a better tomorrow

Gemini: wearing gold arm bands, using solar-based aromatherapy, wearing a golden glyph of Gemini

Libra: using a gold mirror, keeping the tarot cards justice and the sun together on your person, wearing a gold glyph of Libra.

Aquarius: wearing gold jewelry on ankle, donating to heart charity, wearing a gold glyph of Aquarius

Water

4th: decorating the home with solar imagery, gold furniture, gold or solar imagery on your home altar

8th: facing childhood fears, wearing gold undergarments, leaving sunflowers at the cemetery

12th: donating art supplies or toys to a prison, praying to solar deities, praying to child gods

Cancer: wearing gold jewelry on the nipples, drinking golden milk, wearing a golden glyph of cancer

Scorpio: keeping a golden knife or solar knife on your person, Golden Private part adornment, Golden glyph of Scorpio

Pisces: doing recreational substances within reason, praying to the Sun, wearing a Gold glyph of Pisces

Moon-

Fire

1st: wearing silver jewelry or lunar iconography on the face and head

5th: making art about the moon, tending a moon garden, wearing a silver heart

9th: praying to the moon, traveling to the ocean, praying to mother goddesses

Aries: wearing silver head jewelry, having lunar-themed knife, wearing a silver glyph of the zodiac sign Aries

Leo: Sun Moon imagery together, silver jewelry over the heart, eating sweets from childhood

Sagittarius: wearing silver religious iconography, meditating on lunar concepts, wearing silver glyph of Sagittarius

Earth

2nd: collecting silver coins, wearing silver jewelry around throat or jewelry that belongs to your mother, using a silver mirror

6th: following an ancestral diet, eating lunar foods, nurturing others daily

10th: following an ancestral path or destiny, wear silver tooth, give readings to others free of charge

Taurus: use silver mirror, Go outside, wear silver Taurus necklace

Virgo: wear silver rings and waste beads, take colloidal silver, wear silver Virgo necklace

Capricorn: wear silver highlighter, where silver oil or lunar oil on the joints, wear silver Capricorn jewelry

Air

3rd: where silver arms jewelry, use lunar aromatherapy, be kind to gentle sibling

7th: used silver mirror, fight for women's rights, wearing silver scale

11th: wear silver ankle bracelet, donate to charities for moms, getting digitally popular/making a family fanbase

Gemini: use different languages daily, wear silver jewelry on the arms, lunar aromatherapy

Libra: Wear a silver scale, practice Feng shui, use silver mirror

Aquarius: wear silver ankle jewelry, trap a cloud in a bottle and wear it, wear silver Aquarius necklace

Water

4th: decorating the home in silver and lunar iconography, creating an altar with silver and lunar iconography in the home, creating a strong family

8th: silver undergarments, leaving lunar flowers at cemetery, facing fears around security

12th: praying to lunar deities, donating emotional labor to prison,

Cancer:wearing silver, carrying moonstone, wearing silver cancer jewelry

Scorpio: silver knife, carrying the ashes or belongings of a dead loved one, wear silver Scorpio glyph

Pisces:silver glyph

Mercury-

Fire

1st: wearing cinnabar head jewelry, wearing mercurial archetypal iconography, using I am affirmations

5th: wearing your poetry, turning old school books into talisman, roleplaying out loud your desires

9th: praying to Mercurial gods and spirits, mentally traveling to different places, learning something new everyday

Aries: making a knife out of newspaper,wearing silver glyph of mercury sign, rubbing forehead with mercury dime

Leo: positive affirmations, giving compliments, wearing a silver glyph of mercury sign,

Sagittarius: out loud prayer, reading out of sacred texts, wearing silver glyph

Earth

2nd: carrying a Mercury dime, speaking as is everything is yours, singing

6th: taking homeopathic mercurius vivus or solubilis, write your schedule as you'd like it to go every day, carry dried Mercurialis annua in a light blue sack

10th: speaking in archaic form your desires or intention, write a book, carry a written list of your ambitions always in your wallet

Taurus: carrying a Mercury dime, using cinnabar inspired makeup, wearing a glyph of your mercury sign

Virgo: carrying mercurius annual, write down your intentions and carry them with you, speak over your schedule

Capricorn: using archaic language, right down your intentions and carry them with you, manifest through "what if"

Air

3rd: carry written words of a beloved sibling, your will is words, write your intentions in a language you are learning

7th: use legal language to demand what you want,debate with yourself often, carry a word of power with you

11th: write your goals in your phone or computer,

Gemini: speak your intentions, Make new words and carry them, Carry a glyph of your zodiac sign

Libra: carry a constitution with you in a purse or back pocket, use legal language to State your intention, carry a glyph of your sign

Aquarius: poster goals privately on social media, write them in your phone, carry a glyph of your sign

Water

4th: speak to your ancestors, Carry the words of a loved one, decorate the home with cinnabar

8th: speak to the dead, Carry the words of someone who's passed on with your intention, do research on the nameless graves around you

12th: speak to the angels, Carry words from a sacred book, write letters to someone in prison

Cancer: learn ancestral languages, carry the words of a loved one, where the glyph of your sign

Scorpio: Carry the words of someone who's passed, Carry somebody's secrets written down to dominate them, where the glyph of your sign

Pisces: Carry the words from a sacred book, write letters to someone in prison, where the glyph of your sign

Venus-

Fire

1st: Wear copper jewelry on the head, wear lots of makeup and dress beautifully, wear jewelry in the shape of dollar signs, money signs etc or hearts

5th: Make candy and give it to others, wear a copper heart, start a fling

9th: pray to love and lust goddesses, meditate on luxury and money, travel to decadent locations

Aries: wear copper sword accessories EX earrings, rings etc, where spicy fragrances, wear your Venus sign glyph

Leo: Wear copper sun accessories, wear citruses, wear your Venus sign glyph

Sagittarius: Wear copper religious iconography and bow and arrow, wear smokey incense smells, wear your Venus glyph

Earth

2nd: collect rare coins and carry them in a bag, use a copper mirror, Wear copper jewelry around throat

6th:take cuprum metallicum, Make art or do something beautiful daily, meditate on your intentions

10th: where ancient copper jewelry, where the literal glyph of Venus publicly, carry sugar cane with you in a pocket when in public

Taurus: collect rare coins, use a copper mirror: wear copper glyph of Taurus

Virgo: treat yourself to sugar, do yoga/Pilates, wear your glyph

Capricorn: sensually embodied death, where ancient jewelry, wear your glyph

Air

3rd: being sweet to your sibling, intimately getting to know where you grew up and keeping a trinket from that region on your person, wearing copper jewelry on your arms

7th: entertaining multiple lovers and enemies at a time, making contracts with women and fem aligned people, wearing jasmine and rose perfume

11th: creating a fan base that desires you/donating to an artist collective, making art that reflects your vision of an ideal world, wearing copper jewelry on your ankles

Gemini: wearing copper jewelry on your arms, villusion aromatherapy, wearing a copper glyph of Gemini

Libra: using a copper mirror, and effigy of all their relationships to carry totemic power,carrying a glyph of Libra in copper

Aquarius: wearing copper ankle jewelry, creating fake internet persona, wearing a glyph of Aquarius in copper

Water

4th: decorating your home beautifully, using copper decor, making an altar with copper and devoted to love, money, or beauty spirits

8th:constantly change your aesthetic to be terrifying, carry a jar of a lovers fluids, leave money at the cemetery

12th: praying to spirits and goddesses of beauty, love, money and desire, donating to a women's prison or shelter, meditating on venusian things

Cancer: wearing an ancestral piece of jewelry on the chest are, leaving out for for ancestors, wearing glyph of cancer in copper

Scorpio: putting blood on your vanity,wearing copper knife themed jewelry, wearing a copper glyph of your sign

Pisces: copper toe rings, praying to love goddesses, wearing a glyph of your sign in copper

Mars-

Fire

1st: wearing iron head jewelry or face jewelry, wearing red, keeping an iron blade on your person

5th: carrying galangal root, wearing an iron heart, playing a sport

9th: worshiping or praying to martian God's, meditating on war and destruction, iron religious icons

Aries: carrying an iron blade, carrying a vial of blood, an iron glyph of your Mars sign

Leo: leaving an iron object for the spirits at a theater, making red sigils, wearing iron mars

Sagittarius: praying to gods of war, visiting battlefields, wearing iron mars

Earth

2nd: carrying an iron coin, wearing iron jewelry around the throat, carrying art that depicts harm

6th: spicy foods/taking type caipsasun, taking iron supplement, wearing iron jewelry on the hands

10th: becoming a sex symbol, wearing a sex symbol made of iron, collecting historical military memorabilia

Taurus: carrying iron coins, wearing iron around neck or in nose, wearing iron glyph of sign

Virgo: iron waste beads, taking caipsasun, wearing iron glyph of sign

Capricorn: putting iron oil on joints, carrying iron bones, wearing a glyph of the sign

Air

3rd: competing with sibling, carrying iron in your car, wearing iron on your arms

7th: wearing an iron scale, burying iron at a courthouse, wearing the blood of your enemies

11th:donating to firehouse/place of danger, carrying an iron star, joining a dojo

Gemini: wearing iron on your arms, Martian aromatherapy, wearing an iron glyph

Libra: using an iron mirror, burying iron at the courthouse, wearing iron glyph

Aquarius: wearing iron ankle bracelet, wearing iron star, wearing iron glyph

Water

4th: putting blade on your altar, keeping iron horseshoe above the door, decorating the home with weaponry

8th: honor the violently killed dead, leaving iron at the cemetery,

12th: praying to mars, praying to martian God, meditating on war

Cancer:fighting ancestral battles, sprinkling iron dust around home, wearing iron glyph

Scorpio: honor the violently killed dead, carry iron blade, wearing iron glyph

Pisces: wearing iron toe rings, praying to war spirits, wear iron glyph

Jupiter -

Fire

1st: wearing tin head jewelry, wearing religious iconography, carrying a sacred text on your person

5th: have a child pray for your intention, create devotional art, donate to children's charity

9th: pray and meditate often,donate to a church/temple, make a pilgrimage

Aries: pray to war gods, recite war verses, wear a tin glyph of your sign

Leo: pray to sun God's, recite verses of light, wear a tin glyph of your signSagittarius: pray to king God's, recite holy scripture or mantra, wear a tin glyph of your sign

Earth

2nd: carry foreign currency, make offerings to money/fertility spirits, donate to a place of your values

6th: take tin supplement, make offerings to nature spirits, donate to hospital/environmental agency

10th:make offerings to death gods and time gods, start a business, wear tin oil on joints

Taurus: pray to beauty goddesses, recite sacred texts about love or nature, wear tin glyph of your sign

Virgo: pray to nature mother's, recite texts about healing and nature, wear a tin glyph of your sign

Capricorn: pray to nature spirits, death and time keepers, recite texts about eternity, wear a tin glyph of your sign

Air

3rd: wear tin armbands, pray to Gods of learning, recite scholarly texts in spiritual context

7th: use tin mirror, pray to Gods of strategy,justice and diplomacy, recite the law

11th:wear tin ankle bracelet, pray to Gods of stars and heaven and time, recite verses about utopia

Gemini:pray to Gods of learning and education,recite texts about learning, wear tin glyph

Libra: pray to Gods of love and justice, recite the law and love, wear tin glyph

Aquarius: pray to Gods of heaven and sky, recite hopeful texts, wear tin glyph

Water

4th:big altar in the home, pray to your ancestors/lunar goddesses of night and oceanic spirits, use tin in the home

8th:donate to cemetery, pray to Gods of the grave and underworld, recite texts about death

12th:donate to monastery and ashram, pray to water spirits, use substances wisely

Cancer:pray to ancestors, recite ancestral texts, wear tin glyph

Scorpio: pray to death, recite texts of death, wear tin glyph

Pisces: pray to spirits, recite texts of liberation and ecstasy, wear tin glyph

Saturn-

Fire

1st: Wearing obsidian or hematite head jewelry, wearing bone jewelry, wearing black

5th: wearing a black heart, making dark art, visiting cemeteries for fun

9th: worshiping gods of death, decay in time, traveling to places of struggle, meditating on restriction

Aries: ram bone blade, asceticism, glyph in obsidian

Leo:putting bones in a dried heart and keeping it on you, asceticism, glyph in obsidian

Sagittarius: equine bones, asceticism, glyph in obsidian

Earth

2nd: wearing obsidian around the neck, keeping a black wallet, collecting bones

6th: foraging,plumbum metallicum,wearing obsidian ring

10th: collective environmentalism, wearing relics, wearing black

Taurus: using it obsidian mirror, asceticism, glyph of Taurus

Virgo: wearing waist beads, asceticism, glyph of Virgo

Capricorn: wearing ashes on joints, wearing bones, glyph of Capricorn

Air

3rd: saturnian aromatherapy, wearing obsidian armbands, words of Power

7th: allowing yourself to be karma, using an obsidian mirror, wearing a obsidian scale

11th: wearing an obsidian ankle bracelet, donating to a funeral home or cemetery, holding a black star

Gemini: words of power, asceticism, glyph of Gemini

Libra: pursuing justice, a staticism, glyph of Libra

Aquarius: committing to a group, asceticism, glyph of Aquarius

Water

4th: having an altar outside of the home, obsidian on the altar, decorating the home with lots of clocks or timepieces

8th: attending to the graves in a cemetery, speaking to the dead, developing relationships with older people

12th: praying to death, praying to time, meditating on limitation

Cancer: memento mori, asceticism, glyph of cancer

Scorpio: blade made of obsidian, staticism, glyph of Scorpio

Pisces: praying to death, asceticism, glyph of pisces

Ceres-

Aries/1st: wearing the color green, wearing symbols of healing and health, eating spicy food

Taurus/2nd: attending a garden, burying money in a garden, eating sweets

Gemini/3rd: aromatherapy, carrying a clay hand with seeds in it, giving seeds to the wind

Cancer/4th: venerating agrarian ancestors/ deities, putting wheat on your altar, feeling your home with plants

Leo/5th: exercise, eating and cooking childhood favorites, planting sunflowers

Virgo/6th: environmentalism/animal rights advocacy, worshiping the earth, carrying barley or wheat

Libra/7th: practicing Pilates/yoga, making environmental laws and writing them and carrying them, planting roses

Scorpio/8th: meditating on death, making charms to heal others, putting dark chocolate powder on the windowsill

Sagittarius/9th: praying to mother nature, traveling to beautiful places, planting exotic plants

Capricorn/10th: meditating on death, burying bones in your garden, crushed up egg shell in the doorway

Aquarius/11th: feeding the collective, donating to a hospital, spreading environment to live them online

Pisces/12th: saving the ocean, planting a fish head, carrying seaweed

Athena-

Aries/1st: wearing a vial of courthouse dirt, wearing balance and symmetrical outfits, carrying a spearhead

Taurus/2nd: leaving money on the scale that a courthouse or by a statue of justice, sowing your own clothes, wearing a coin from a successful business

Gemini/3rd: engaging in debate, putting a bay leaf under your tongue with your intention, drawing a glyph of the scales on arm

Cancer/4th: bringing justice to your ancestors, bringing scales into your home, decorating your home with legal decor

Leo/5th: advocate for children, wear chain from an athlete, where the hair of a lawyer

Virgo/6th: practice yoga, wear glass beads, fight for environment

Libra/7th: be fair always, carrier scale with you, Wear an object of your enemy

Scorpio/8th: carry salt in your back pocket, give blood to the right side of justice at the courthouse, abstain from revenge

Sagittarius/9th: give Justice to Holy places, travel for advocacy, carry foreign symbol of legal or judicial meaning

Capricorn/10th: carry a copy of The ten commandments

Aquarius/11th: advocacy work

Pisces/12th: praying to spirits of justice, law and balance, meditate on justice

Juno-

Aries/1st: wear crowns.

Taurus/2nd: wear Royal neck jewelry

Gemini/3rd: carry pages of a book about royalty

Cancer/4th: Carry ancestral emblems of royalty

Leo/5th: Wear Golden crown

Virgo/6th: wear Royal Flowers and plants essences

Libra/7th: Carry a royal object associated justice

Scorpio/8th: carry a royal object associated with death

Sagittarius/9th: carry a royal religious symbol

Capricorn/10th: carry a royal scepter

Aquarius/11th: carry a star

Pisces/12th: worship royalty

Vesta-

Aries/1st: include iron, red, fire or spicy things on your altar

Taurus/2nd: include sugar, luxury items, perfume and cosmetics on your altar

Gemini/3rd: include fresh sense, books, tools on your altar

Cancer/4th: include ancestral objects, lunar symbolism and iconography on your altar

Leo/5th: include childlike things, toys and solar symbolism and iconography on your altar

Virgo/6th: include memorabilia connected with healers, doctors in therapists on your altar

Libra/7th: include things associated with justice law and partnership on your altar

Scorpio/8th: include things associated with death, fear and despair on your altar

Sagittarius/9th: include things associated with traditional religion on your older

Capricorn/10th: include old things, the color black, or bones on your altar

Aquarius/11th: include man-made things, metallic things and literature on your altar

Pisces/12th: traditional spiritual symbolism

[talenlee]

Fundie Vibeology

There are two competing and conflicting rhetorical tricks you’ll encounter dealing with Christian apologists which is the way that their feelings are fundamentally true and your feelings are just as fundamentally disqualifying.

Do you know what I’m describing? Here are the two points in contrast:

Deconstructors and anti-apologetics people are really just expressing some personal hurt or injury that they’re then incorrectly relating to the whole of the church.

And also:

For me, I think the greatest argument for god are everywhere, they’re just everywhere! Look around you, look at this tree! The complexity of it, the wonder of it, doesn’t that fill you with awe and show you the presence of God?

Which is to say, in one capacity, if you’ve got hurt, upset or negative feelings against their arguments, like I do, then your feelings are just feelings. They are feelings that lack for depth, they are feelings that mean your opinions and positions cannot be trusted. Their feelings, on the other hand, are literally expressions of objective facts.

I feel like that’s that, I just like, done with the article, we’re all wrapped up here because that’s just how it works and it’s an observable, quantifiable fact that this is a thing these people do, or even that they do it without making any excuse for it or even notice that they’re doing it. It’s very important to remember that when you’re dealing with Christian Apologetics, which is the foolish infant clown of the religious studies discipline, that you aren’t actually dealing with a form of scholarship. You’re operating within the parameters of an immense landscape of vibes.

The fundamental vibeology of Christian Apologetics then is about expressing an idea of the normal that is filtered through the vibes of that same church’s existing structural space. And that means even the supposed heavy hitters in this space, like, William Lane Craig, is capable of going ‘well yeah, you know if Divine Command Theory is true, based on the vibes,’ and he’s a serious heavyweight intellectual, and if you say ‘that’s fucking horrifying and stupid,’ you’re the one being emotional and immature and foolish.

And the thing is when you’re at that stage of things, when you’re looking at the world through this set of contrary and counterpoint vibes, you don’t realise it but most of the time, what you’re doing with your life and your world, is instead elevating your emotional reactions to the level of the word of god. A level that just happens to include your personal feelings of pride and disgust.

But you can’t point that out.

The public discourse, like the attention economy based job of ‘being an apologist’ is one of the worst things happening to a truly terrible industry, mind you. Because now it’s a micro-influencer economy of people selling vibes to people under the branding of their eternal souls, but it’s not using colloidal silver or brain force ultra to monetise. It’s the threat of eternal life being wielded like a gun as someone sells you their fucking vibes and they do so in a way where if you’re disgusted or angered by that, the problem is you, and these are the people who own the fucking government.

On the other hand, my entire life of being willing to identify myself as an atheist, I’ve been dealing with people trying to explain to my how whatever my position is, regardless of my points or my arguments or anything even in that family, that instead the conversation needs to route around me. What I am needs redefining, because hey, an atheist actually means, or a materialist really means, or the fundamental philosophical perspective on what atheism really means or how positive claims work — and that’s just vibes. Because I don’t get to control my identity or express how it’s treated or what that means for me, because I’m an Angry Atheist.

This is because, as with so much of this fundie junk, that fundamentalism isn’t actually, despite what people like me seem to claim, it’s not a wholly united problem across all religious factors. Christian fundamentalism is in no way linked with Muslim fundamentalism even if they’d both have reasons to dislike some scientist or other. Christian fundamentalism is a wheeling arm on the edge of the machine that is Christian Supremacy, ensuring to pull the machine over to the side; to set the edge that the rest of the operation gets to wield.

We’re not so bad. We don’t hate women that much. We give blankets to the homeless queers we turned out of their homes. We support those laws but we’re not rude about it. We don’t want you to die, we just don’t want you here.

We’re not those ones.

Why are you so emotional about this?

It’s all the same technology. It’s all the same system, the same artifice and it’s the same evil and cruel system of digesting people in the name of sustaining power that is coming out of the face of a wannabe cool Youth Pastor in a church hall or from under the deliberately made-for-youtube styled wannabe bore Content Creator or the same grimming smugly teenaged fuckface who thinks he’s got the whole Bible worked out because he can call Daniel Maclelan a faggot. It’s the same terrible, terrible, terrible thing, and the best of intentions never means having to look at what the system you’re engaging with supports, never having to consider your arguments as sensible things because the Well-Maybe-It-Could-Be-True-This-Way justifications are just ways to hang onto and hold tight onto your vibes.

I hate them.

I hate them whether they’re the ones who try to start fights in Pride Month about ‘the homosexual agenda’ or ‘encroachment’ or whether they’re the ones who wear fucking rainbow pins and tell us that actually, Jesus wasn’t anti-homosexuality so the church isn’t against them after all and in fact, in their view, in fact, really, it’s very backwards to focus on that.

Same machine, many mouths, and it’s all vomiting out the vibes of the worst impulses of selfish, demanding, cruel, digestive power.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[antiradqueerguy]

as someone with a lifelong special interest in body modification and medicine, reddwater is not only giving dangerous tips but stupid and nonsensical ones. they clearly know nothing about the subject and should NOT be giving advice on it.

they told a caninekin for example that they could replace their skin with faux fur. wtf are you gonna do, skin yourself and wrap a sheet of it around your raw dermis??? stitch it in?? there is no possible way to do this without massive infection and rejection at the site. interestingly enough tilapia fish skin and pig skin are used for burn grafts but it isn't permanent and dries up when the wound is healed. good luck getting sterile dog skin and in the event you manage to actually graft it it's falling off when healed.

there are safe and REASONABLE tips you could give that user. for example, ear pointing, crowning your teeth with fangs, whisker piercings, and tattooing.

they also advised using colloidal silver without advising on the potential risks (long-term organ damage), and BLINDING YOURSELF without any discussion of the fact that doing so is going to be immensely painful and you will need hospitalisation. then they talk about learning how to tourniquet for self-amputation without knowing about arterial retraction which can make using a tourniquet completely ineffective, especially when there is a lot of trauma to the amputation site (afaik almost all people with BIID who self-amputate cannot do it with a clean surgical cut, there will be huge trauma to the area.)

tldr please don't listen to this idiot. nonhuman affirming body mods are great and i have one myself, but these are most likely kids being given really dangerous tips that are also useless

FAUX FUR??? HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO FAUX FUR??? THAT WILL REJECT SO FAST??

"sign up to be turned into a super human guys!!!" NO SIREE,

[mariacallous]

A Texas bankruptcy court judge brought Infowars back from the brink of death on Friday, a surprising ruling which conspiracy kingpin Alex Jones attempted to use to—naturally—make more money. This time, Jones is promoting a supplement company owned by his father.

Judge Christopher M. Lopez issued a split ruling last week, saying that Jones can follow through with a plan his attorneys had requested and liquidate most of his assets to pay the nearly $1.5 billion judgment he owes to the families of children and staff members killed at Sandy Hook after repeatedly calling the mass shooting a “hoax.”

Though Jones lost by default in defamation cases brought by Sandy Hook families in both Connecticut and Texas, the families have yet to see a dime of the money owed to them; Friday’s hearing was one piece of a long-awaited day of reckoning for the man they said was the single biggest driver of lies about their dead children and hatred, threats, and harassment directed toward their families.

But the judge rejected a bankruptcy plan that would have also liquidated Free Speech Systems, the parent company of Infowars, the 25-year-old media empire that made Jones into the foremost face of conspiracism in America. The network will live for now, although it remains unclear how long. Jones responded to the crisis in his usual way: by shilling supplements, albeit this time with a curious twist.

As the bankruptcy proceedings have dragged on—and on and on—Jones has used his one true talent to powerful effect, urging his viewers to send money to an entity not directly owned by him, and thus not answerable to the Sandy Hook families and his other creditors.

In recent weeks, Jones has been promoting a new supplements site, Dr. Jones Naturals, on air. He says it’s owned by his father, David Jones, a dentist. Alex Jones has been urging people to spend their money there in addition to, or instead of, at Infowars' in-house store. “My dad is a sponsor, and he has a warehouse that’s not under their control, full of products ready to ship to you,” Jones said on-air last week. A representative for Free Speech Systems also testified in court that Infowars had stopped ordering supplements for its in-house store several weeks ago, expecting an imminent shutdown.

The things on offer from Dr. Jones Naturals don’t differ greatly from the things Infowars sells itself; there’s the usual bouquet of colloidal silver products, a longtime faux cure-all in the natural health world, along with something oxymoronically called Rocket Rest, a product called Top Brain, and, for the completist, a set of products called the Patriot Pack. There’s also a pack of “super silver lozenges,” where the product photo shows an expiration date of 2022.

“It’s an obvious fraud on the bankruptcy court,” Chris Mattei, an attorney for the Connecticut families, tells WIRED, referring to Jones' directing people on-air to his father’s supplements website. “He’s not supposed to divert assets.”

This isn’t the first time the families have credibly accused Jones of diverting Infowars’ assets to businesses owned by family members. When the company first filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in 2022, lawyers for the Texas families accused Jones of “conspir[ing] to divert his assets to shell companies owned by insiders like his parents, his children, and himself.” One of those companies was an entity called PQPR Holdings, an alleged Infowars vendor that claims to supply virtually everything in its online store. Other shell companies, the lawyers alleged, were holding companies that the lawyers said were “directly or indirectly” owned by Jones, his parents, or his children, and which in some cases bore their initials. (The fight over PQPR continues in bankruptcy court.)

For both sets of families, the concern about Jones allegedly looting the company on his way out the door remains very real. Lawyers for the families made clear during the hearing that they were ultimately looking to preserve the value of the company to create an equitable distribution of Jones’ assets to his many, many creditors, and, of course, prevent him from carrying out what they allege is the latest fraudulent scheme he’s using to keep money hidden.

In the hearing, Jones’ assets were ordered dissolved. Though he will be allowed to keep his house, other personal assets, like his gun collection, could also be up for auction. But since the court rejected a bankruptcy plan for Free Speech Systems, the families can now try to collect the judgments they won in state court. The Connecticut plaintiffs had asked the judge to pave the way for an “orderly wind down” of Jones’ business affairs, as several lawyers put it, while the Texas families favored a plan to keep the company operational for now, with their lawyers arguing that they could better pursue claims for their clients that way.

Besides hawking his dad’s business, in the leadup to the hearing, Jones also milked every bit of content and attention from Infowars’ possible imminent nonexistence that he could. He sat down for laudatory interviews with both Tucker Carlson and Russell Brand that aired on Infowars and loudly ruminated on what he called “the twilight” of the network and “the countdown to the end of this place.”

Jones’ last week of broadcasts was a greatest-hits of weird characters from across the conspiracy-verse. Besides Brand and Carlson, Mikki Willis, the filmmaker behind the viral faux-documentary Plandemic, also showed up with friends to promote a new project, as did Stew Peters, an antisemitic far-right broadcaster who has recently been named the communications director of an armed national militia. Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes also hosted a segment where he ranted about Black Lives Matter.

On Friday morning, Jones posted a video on X of himself driving down a Texas highway toward the courthouse, declaring that “the Democratic party and the Deep State” were trying to take control of his assets and social media accounts.

“This is real tyranny,” he declared, adding that if Trump is reelected, “he’s going to put them all in prison.”

Jones also claimed on-air last week that an Infowars shutdown would only make him more powerful. “You make it bigger by shutting it down, dumbos,” he declared. After the verdict, in an “emergency broadcast” over the weekend, Jones called the hearing “absolutely epic” and denounced allegations that he was “stealing money” as “fake.”

The verdicts against Jones, Mattei told WIRED last week, were “a cathartic moment of validation. And Friday if the judge rules that the company needs to be liquidated will be another moment where they feel like they’ve done everything they could do to protect others. They didn’t lay down.”

But that is, of course, not what happened. “It’s just Biblical,” Jones exalted over the weekend, speaking to one of his frequently replaced junior hosts. “It’s almost like God is really just being entertained by all this and is just wanting to see the fight continue.”

While the families have clearly fought hard, Friday’s split ruling is, instead, a signal that their fight is, for now, not even close to over. And as Jones and Infowars keep covering their own unlikely survival, they’re still hawking both their in-house store and Dr. Jones’ Naturals.

“We’re selling it for $12 and change,” Jones said at one point during the “emergency broadcast,” extolling the virtues of a certain supplement. He paused for a moment. “My dad is.”

[illnessfaker]

correct me if i'm wrong but i feel like there's a nice middle ground btwn the fact that capitalism prioritizes inevitably profits over the health of consumers vs. "food dyes are poison, basically everything is poisoning us" that makes you sound like you're 2 steps away from becoming one of the people who drink colloidal silver

[imonawholedifferentlevel]

𝗕𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲

⇛𝙒𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨! 𝙁𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩!⇚

𝗠𝗼𝗼𝗻'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

When we arrived at Seabrook Power, we all slowly snuck in from the sides and when we saw the coast was clear proceeded forward but not even a moment later a loud alarm went off.

"Shit!" I cursed out.

"We triggered the alarm, hurry!" Wyatt said and we turned only to be stopped by a loud voice.

"Wolves, freeze where you are!" I heard the voice of Addison's dad Dale yell out just as Z- patrol surrounded us.

"Oh fuck" I muttered seeing my dad.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Meanwhile at the school Bree and Addison were talking with each other in the hallway all of a sudden, the Z- alarm went off startling them.

"The Z- alarm, why would that be going off?" Addison asked Bree who just shrugged.

"Attention! Attention! Monster activity at Seabrook Power" a loud announcement came on.

"It's the wolves! Wait, if that's the case then Moon is in trouble!" Bree exclaimed.

"We need to help them. Bree, would you?" She said and Bree nodded.

"I will. I'm in. Always." Her friend said in a determined tone.

"We can't do this alone. We need to rally the Z-team." Addison instructed.

"Right." Bree said and was about to run off when Addison grabbed her arm.

"No. Actually, we're gonna need everyone."

"Aye-aye, captain."

Come on!" Addison ushered.

"Okay"

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"You're trespassing, werewolves!" Dale yelled at us but stopped when he saw me.

"Moon?" He asked in a surprised tone.

"Yeah, that's me" I said but not in a kind way.

"How can we be trespassing on our own land?" Wyatt pointed out.

This is werewolf territory!" I yelled out and my pack yelled in agreement with me.

"I don't know anything about that," Dale said.

"Of course, you don't know anything except what those dumb history books said about us zombies aren't that different so why are we huh answer that" I said.

"Moon don't do this' ' My dad said even though I had my real dad I still saw him as a father figure.

I sighed and turned to Willa giving her the signal "We can take them!" She yelled and we all bared out fangs and claws at the patrol making them step back in fear.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

(Willa) Hear it getting louder, a call for revolution

(Moon) Yeah, we came for what was ours, it's time for restitution

(Willa) We'll protect our own

(Moon) Take back the stone

(Willa) No, human nature cannot hold us down

(Wyatt) Stranded at the bottom, but we're more than a whisper No, we'll never be forgotten, our blood's thicker than silver, yeah When worlds collide, it's do or die So tell me, is it wrong to stand your ground?

(Moon, Willa, Wyatt) Hear us howl, all or nothing Fangs are out, we ain't running Hear us howl, it's all or nothing

(Wolves) Oh-oh-oh-oh This is a declaration Oh-oh-oh-oh Of a new generation It's now or never, we're in this together We'll fight through the highs and the lows No, we won't break, we're more than flesh and bone

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"Arrest them!" Dale yelled out all of a sudden they sprayed this smoke at us and I felt an excruciating pain in my lungs so I could guess it was silver of some kind.

"Colloidal silver. That'll tame these beasts" I heard Dale smugly say as I felt handcuffs be tightly placed on my wrists.

"Wait what about Moon-"

"What about her? She's nothing more than a beast as well" I felt anger bubble up in me at what he just said about me.

I didn't give a damn if he was Addison's dad.

"Demo time. Everybody clear out!" He called out and turned around.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled out.

I felt my breathing get heavier and everyone's attention was slowly going towards me.

I let out a loud growl as I felt my bones break and all of a sudden everything went black.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Everyone jumped back as what once was Moon was a giant black wolf standing in her place.

The wolf let out a loud roar of anger and started swiping at the z- patrol managing to knock some into the wall.

She bared her teeth as she focused her attention on Dale within one second Moon lunged landing directly on his pinning him down with her giant paw.

Saliva dripped down her mouth as she leveled her face down towards him, staring into his soul before pushing him back against the wall like the others.

"No! Moon stop!" She snapped her head towards where the voice was and she immediately stopped in her movements when she saw Willa looking at her with a teary eyed look.

Her eyes widened and her ears flattened against her head taking her distraction as an opportunity one if the z- patrol grabbed the taser and zapped Moon directly in the neck.

The wolf let out a wine and desperately swiped at the worker but was hit by another taser and then another one turning her growls into whimpers and cries of pain.

"Moon!" Wynter, Wyatt, and Willa yelled when the wolf finally went limp.

"Oh my god!" Willa yelled.

The workers slowly backed up as the wolf slowly faded back into an unconscious Moon.

"Moon? Moon!" Willa tried to call out to her mate but the z- patrol had a tight grip on them and one of the officers grabbed Moon and dragged her off to the side.

"No!" A voice yelled out and the wolves turned and was surprised to see Addison and the rest of the cheerleading squad.

"Addison?!" Dale and Moon's dad said at the same time in surprise.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

(Addison) The world has gone crazy and no one seems to listen Gotta step in, no more maybes, and stop the demolition Is it hope or fear? Look in the mirror Everything we built is coming down

(Eliza) No more hesitation, it's time we start to realize With all this separation, silence is still taking sides So use your voice, make a choice And tell me, are you standing with the crowd?

(All) Oh-oh-oh-oh This is a declaration Oh-oh-oh-oh Of a new generation It's now or never, we're in this together We'll fight through the highs and the lows No, we won't break, we're more than flesh and bone

(All) Ayy, ayy, ayy-ayy We say no more bad blood, no more bad blood Ayy, ayy, ayy-ayy No way, they can't stop us, no, they can't stop us Ayy, ayy, ayy-ayy We say no more bad blood, no more bad blood Ayy, ayy, ayy-ayy No way, they can't stop us, no, they can't stop us

(Zed) History changes, but we lost the pages we wrote When you lose direction, can't see the reflection you know We came from the bottom then became the problem Now everything's out of control So hey, are you with me? Let's go!

(All) Oh-oh-oh-oh This is a declaration Oh-oh-oh-oh Of a new generation It's now or never, we're in this together We'll fight through the highs and the lows No, we won't break, we're more than flesh and bone

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"You gotta stop the demolition, Dad. I know how hard you worked to get this job. But if it's gonna hurt the werewolves, you have to stop it" Zed said in a pleading tone looking over to Moon's body and at the wolves seeing a sobbing Willa being comforted by Wynter and Wyatt as she tried to get to Moon.

"You're right. And Addison's right. Shut it down. Stop the detonation. Tomorrow, when it's safe, we'll find what you're looking for. But right now, you can all go home!" He announced.

Everyone cheered and Addison pulled Zed in for a hug, but the moment was quickly dropped by the cries of Willa.

"Moon!" She yelled and ran towards the girl as soon as she was unlocked from the cuffs with the rest of the pack following her.

"Moon please wake up I just got you back I can't lose you again" she sobbed burying her head into Moon's chest.

Wynter and Wyatt wrapped their arms around Willa feeling tears come to their eyes as they looked down at the body of their sister.

"Oh god Moon" Zed said and ran over with Addison, Bree, Bonzo, and Eliza following behind him and they all ran towards where Moon was.

"All I wanted was to have Moon back. Is that too much to ask for?" Willa sobbed, clutching Moon's jacket tightly.

Wyatt hugged Wynter as tears were also running down her cheeks, but he was barely doing fine himself.

Zed took Moon's hand and gripped it tightly "you gotta wake up Moon" he whispered.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Moon gasped as she looked around not being sure where she was.

"Where the hell am I?" she mumbled to herself while looking around.

"My little pup oh how you've grown" Moon snapped her head to the voice and froze up at the sight of the woman.

Those identical hazel eyes and sharp cheekbones that made her face look exactly like a model.

"There's no way....i-it can't be you it can't be" Moon stutters feeling the tears cloud her vision.

"It is me dear who else had you in the womb for nine months" the woman chuckled out.

"I missed you so much," Moon cried running into her mother's arms.

"I miss you more, more than anything that this world can offer you and your sister, we're the purifying stages of my life" Samantha soothed petting Moon's hair.

"But you have people who need you such as your pack, your sister, your friends, and most importantly Willa," Samantha said, tilting Moon's chin up with her finger.

"You two have something big just around the corner and as much as I want you to be here she needs you there because without you that important thing won't exist" she explained.

"What is that important thing?" Moon asked.

"You're just gonna have to find out my dear but for now it's time for you to go just promise me that you'll make me proud?"

"I promise mom"

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

All of a sudden Moon's body started to move and seconds later she started to cough profusely Willa quickly looked up and saw that Moon was still alive.

Moon slowly looked around and raised an eyebrow "Why is everyone crying? Did someone die?" She asked.

Willa said nothing and just threw herself onto Moon hugging her tightly and pressing kisses all over her face.

"Don't ever do that again you asshole do you understand me?!" Willa exclaimed, slapping Moon's chest.

"Don't remember what exactly happened, can someone tell me what happened please?" she said and Wynter and Wyatt helped her up before pulling her into a hug.

"You turned into a wolf, a very huge one at that" Wynter explained, expanding her arms to show how big she was.

"Wow... didn't know I could do that" Moon mumbled.

"And also they stopped the demolition, they're gonna help us find the moonstone" Wyatt said happily.

"So me turning into a wolf actually paid off" Moon said smugly but when she saw her pack's expressions she quickly closed her mouth.

"Oh and also where's that one guy....oh! There you are'' she said and walked up to the guy who tased her in the neck and kicked him right in between the legs.

Everyone winced except for Moon's pack which laughed as the guy let out a cry of pain and collapsed to the floor in pain.

"Next time will be a broken nose" she said, giving him a face before smiling smugly and wiped her hands.

"Sorry about attacking the rest of you including you Dale but I'm definitely not sorry for that guy" she said.

"As long as you're still alive that's all that matters" Wynter said and hugged her sister tightly.

All of a sudden the ground started to rumble and all of the wolves' moonstones turned green making them burst into a fit of coughs.

"The remote shorted out, and now the detonation timer's running" one of the men said.

"Well, shut it off!" Dale demanded.

"I can't," the worker said.

"No, no!" Wynter struggled through her coughs and she almost fell to the floor but Moon quickly caught her before she could.

"What have they done" Willa whimpered and Moon quickly wrapped her arms around her as well.

"We gotta get home" Moon said and led the pack to the exit.

"Moon!" She turned around and saw Zed. She gave him a small smile before turning around and leaving with her pack.

[arsnof]

Just read the Man of Sin Wikipedia article and now I'm going to join an Apocalypse cult.

What're the chances that there are a good number of zealot republicans who believe Trump is the Antichrist and still support him. Not because they're Secret Satanists, but because JC can't come back until AC shows up and, if you're a real Jesus stan and want to see Him in your lifetime and can't wait, why not build your own to hurry it along?

Not saying it's true, just that it would make a great story.

A boy born into money but, through a tragic backstory, becomes a self important bully who grows into a young real estate guy. He's willing to skirt the rules to make some deals, but he's not cruel.

We follow him as he moves up in the world. The twist is that he keeps running into aggressively nice people who are just a little too interested in him and keep putting him in very obvious right v wrong scenarios and giving him a little push. Weirdest, they are all sporting a distinctive crucifix/American flag emblem in jewelry or lapel pins or tattoos (a cool youth pastor) or clothes.

He gets older and richer and famous and they steer him towards politics and he gains followers and friends and he gets more and more twisted. Eventually he is president and then.. More.

He is an old man in a horrible toupee, blue from colloidal silver and hopped up on bull hormones, he stands on the balcony of his tower that reaches into the heavens and is surrounded by people wearing the emblem on their heavy coats. The tower is so tall that the atmosphere is thin and they wear oxygen masks.

He doesn't, though. Oxygen is a carcinogen and only Omegas breath it. He's not wearing a heavy coat, just an ill fitting blazer and nothing else.

He watches as the sky cracks open and Jesus descends in a brilliant light. The last shot is his close-up. Eyes squinting, hair flying wildly to reveal several trepanation scars, a wry smirk twists his face. "Let's make a deal," he says as his skin blisters, but he doesn't flinch.

[pixeljade]

You know we (rightfully) dunk on flat-earthers a lot but i actually think the prevalence of flat earth theory proves how easy it is for humans to dig themselves into cult thinking by simply. Refusing to accept a basic premise they believe in COULD be wrong.

Like, its no secret that most flat-earthers are the kinda conspiracy goon that is like, white supremacy endgame. And i've seen it happen to a few folks sadly where they start out as just bland fucking conservatives who dont think too deeply about shit, but as you attempt to challenge their ideas about racism they double down and start turning to things like phrenology and eugenics to justify their shitty beliefs, and those ideas dont fully align with reality either, so they start believing that certain races are using supernatural means to counter the "science" (lol) of eugenics they were born with, and so on and so forth with conspiracy thought until they're chugging colloidal silver and rambling about nephilims and the Earth MUST be flat.

Like it doesnt matter how much actual evidence there is on the other side, because at each step, the answer cant be that you're wrong, just that your idea of the truth isnt 100% complete, and then you throw in more absurd shit that makes it FEEL more complete to YOU. And thats really all the human mind needs is to FEEL like its got a complete view of reality, or close to it.

Anyways thats part of why I do like reading about the occult and shit even tho i can maybe only vibe with the 1% thats not racist; because it represents this side of humanity that never learned deductive reasoning.

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 2: Insomnia

sweet dreams (day 2: insomnia).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, human/vampire au, post-new moon. no warnings.

I don't think this is my finest work, but you know what, we're here for the vibes.

After the Cullens leave, I feel like… like some part of me is missing. Like I’ve been hollowed out but I’m still forced to walk around. I physically ache. All I want to do is sleep, except when I am finally, finally allowed to crawl into my bed.

That’s when it’s utterly impossible.

Aunt Lorraine says it’s my ribs, my shoulder. It’s been three months, they shouldn’t still be keeping me awake. I know that, but Lorraine insists it’s nothing else.

She gives me a bottle of essential oil and another crystal. More of her hippie nonsense; my dresser is cluttered with the other rocks she’s given me to solve my problems. I had to hide my aspirin in the pocket of my winter coat and my inhaler in my school bag because I know she’d throw them away if she knew about I still had them. Colloidal silver, oils, and stones are the only things she’ll allow, and I cannot stand it. After two months of having every oil and potion and leaf pushed on me instead of the painkillers the doctor prescribed, my tolerance is stretched to the limit.

“Some lavender to help you sleep, and some blood-stone for under your pillow,” she says, as she walks around the basement, straightening my things. “That one is a classic jasper…”

I nearly throw the stone against the wall when she says that, as if she’s intentionally hurt me, but she keeps prattling about the healing power of the newest oil and rock she’s given me and I know she hasn’t realized what she’s said.

The rock feels cold in my hand.

She doesn’t stay long, she never does; the cushions on the couch are fluffed, my schoolwork has been pointedly stuffed into the bookcase, and my laundry hamper is full. That is the extent of the mothering I get in this house; Uncle Rod’s always working - when he is on furlough, he’s good to me. He cares; he reminds me that he wanted me here every single time.

But Lorraine is distant and it’s clear that she’s drawing the boundaries between my cousin and me. And it’s fine, Willa’s so little, Lorraine wants to focus on her. She’s her daughter, I’m just her niece by marriage. She probably hadn’t wanted some troubled teenage girl she’d never met moving into her basement.

It’s fine.

But I wish…

“Sleep well,” Lorraine finally says as she leaves, pointedly not closing the door behind her, and I listen to her climb the basement stairs. I wish… I wish I had someone to kiss the top of my head, tuck me in, and maybe hug me when I cry.

I haven’t had a mom hug in so long. I could really use one.

I wait until I hear Lorraine close the door at the top of the stairs before I get up, and go into the laundry room to brush my teeth, and firmly shut my bedroom door behind me. I check my phone on the charger, ignoring the spam messages that pop up. Every freakin’ night, the stupid texts promising me credit cards and car loans, the phone calls that are silent just long enough for me to hope, only for the automated message to click in. If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone had signed me up to all of it as a punishment.

The oil and stone are still on my nightstand when I get back, practically mocking me. I ignore it as I climb back into my bed; the book we’re assigned for English rests under my pillow. It’s optimistic to think I’ll open it tonight. I’m already weeks behind.

I lie still and wait for something. Sleep, preferably. But it doesn’t come.

Mostly I think about what I had. What I lost. I want to travel back in time and shake myself. Those broken ribs don’t hurt as much as what comes next, you stupid girl. Beg him, scream and cry and throw a real tantrum to make sure that he doesn’t dare leave you behind.

Breathe deep so you remember his scent, of rain and leather and ashes scattered to the wind. The way you could curl against him, your cheek against his chest, and that perfect stillness that was so wrong and yet so calming; the way he would slide his hand under your shirt and over the skin and bone of your hip in a way that wasn’t sensual or lascivious, just comforting and so perfectly intimate.

And remember all of it properly. That proper, perfect feeling of a maybe family. The way Esme asks you to bring over the photo album so she can see you as a baby, a child, and makes you tell her about every single photograph, side by side on the couch, her fingers tracing over each snapshot of your face. The way Carlisle listens to you so intensely, like what you’re saying is so important, and then really thinks about what he says in response. The way Emmett made you leave an inhaler in his truck, just in case - and always offered to go through the drive-thru when you were in the car. Rosalie never smiling at you, never ever being slightly welcoming, but being the one that always checked if you needed a ride home after school.

And Bella’s wry little smiles, a beat-up book in her lap, and her hair around her face as you tried to explain something to her - a fashion trend, pop culture, some grand plan in the nebulous future. The way Edward would always move over just a little so you could sit down at the piano with him, the music propped up on the stand arranged for you if you wanted to sing the tune along with him; never needing to tell him that it was a comforting reminder of doing the same thing with your mom before she got sick.

Then remind yourself it was far too perfect to have lasted any longer.

Feeble moonlight spills in from the narrow windows where the wall meets the ceiling - the joys of living in a basement. I sink deeper into my bed, and I look over at my nightstand where the blood-stone sits. If I could smash it, I would.

My phone buzzes absently. Looking to refinance? Call (206) 342-8631.

“I nearly had a mom and dad who could love me,” I whispered at it. “I nearly had a family forever. And someone who loved me no matter what.”

The tears are hot as they roll down my face. “Why couldn’t you stay? I… It was an accident, we could have fixed it.”

Nothing. It was just a rock, after all. The sleepless nights had caught up with me if I was talking to bedroom decor.

Rolling over to face the wall where my photo-wall had been, I squeeze my eyes shut and just plead with my brain to give me rest. More than the scant, soupy hour or two I got before dawn.

It refuses.

My chest hurts.

My phone buzzes again. Nickel off expired baby food today only!

I’d turn the stupid thing off, but I’d promised my sister that it didn’t matter what time of the day or night it was, if she called I would answer. There wasn’t much I else could do for her nearly three thousand miles away, but I could do that.

I didn’t feel this lonely in Mississippi. Not when mom died, not when dad remarried, not when I was at the hospital. I never thought of myself as being hopeful, but now… now I feel like there’s nothing. Just a void of days I have to fill. I can’t imagine feeling human enough to exist in the world as a functioning adult. I’m hanging on by my fingertips now, and it feels like it gets worse every single day.

It was so stupid. It was an accident. I think Dad or the hospital have hurt me worse.

My phone buzzes. Cheap Designer Gear!!! 1 Day Only!!

I glared over at my clock, as if it was the reason I was still awake, and not the hopelessness that had taken residence up in my bones. That my mind was traitorously replaying every chuckle, every quiet conversation, every gentle kiss. I wanted Jasper here with me now, tucked up beside me with a heavy book that would bore me to tears, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back to help me sleep. And when I’d wake up, he’d be gone but there would be a little note folded on my pillow. I love you, I’ll see you at school. I had dozens of them in the shoe box I’d banished my photographs to. Thirty two nights, thirty two little notes in his beautiful handwriting, all with the same first line.

I love you.

My eyes slide shut and maybe just for a moment I can float; that in-between sleep that solves nothing but at least makes the time pass. I am warm, the pain is tolerable, and right now I can almost remember how it feels to have Jasper’s hand on my back soothing me to sleep as he reads…

Buzz.

And the illusion was gone. Rolling over to an empty bed and grabbing my phone, knocking half the items piled on my nightstand everywhere, I felt like I was probably going to smash it if it was another ad.

A call from a number I didn’t recognize; Cynthia was always losing her phone, but I was more horrified that she was calling me after three a.m; she was twelve, she needed to be in bed asleep or watching Youtube or something. Not calling me for help.

“Hello?” I croak, weeks of no sleep and hopelessness coming through in that one word. I sounded about eighty. “Cece?”

Silence. I waited for the automated message to click in for a few seconds, but nothing.

“Cece?” I asked again, suddenly close to tears. “Please, just say something.”

“Alice?”

I was suddenly more awake than I had been in months, sitting up straight. Jasper, my Jasper.

He sounded terrible, desperate and broken and lost. A small part of me was relieved he was suffering as much as I was. A larger part was terrified because he was the one that took care of me, protected me; I didn’t know how to fix his problems.

But the largest part of me was just desperate for him not to hang up the phone.

“Jasper?” I sounded like a child when I said his name, and I heard his breath hitch.

“I’m here.”

I had a million questions for him. Where are you? Why are you calling? What’s wrong? Where’s your family? Why did you go?

None of them came out. Instead, I just started sobbing and was faintly aware of myself begging, pleading, with him to come home. Promising him that I’d do anything, anything if he’d just come back to Forks.

I don’t know how long I cried and begged but when I eventually ran out of tears, Jasper was still there, trying to calm me down.

“It hurts too much,” I sniffled down the phone. “I need you to come home, please.”

Silence. I could hear the sound of traffic; a payphone somewhere. This connection to him was tenuous, momentary, and the rising panic was making me feel sick.

“Alice,” his voice just made everything feel better, softer, and I would have given anything to have him beside me. “Alice, take a breath, you’re going to have an asthma attack or make yourself sick.” His voice had lost that desolate quality, had taken on that warmth that I remembered so well.

“Please come home,” I whispered. “I promise I’ll do whatever you want, I just need you here.” I could hear the wheeze in my voice, and Jasper probably could too. But I couldn’t bring myself to get up for my inhaler; it felt like if I moved, he’d be gone forever.

Silence. I could feel the tears building again.

“I’m coming,” he finally says, his voice cracking. I let out a sob. “I’ll be there soon, I promise. You need to rest, Alice. Why are you awake?”

“Can’t sleep,” I said, blotting my face with a tissue. “I just… can’t. I’m so tired Jasper, I need you to come home.”

“I’m coming home now, I promise.” My body is relaxing. “You need to sleep, Alice. Just close your eyes and I’ll wait for you to fall asleep, okay?”

“Do the others know you called me?” I said, curling into my pillow. I still had the letter they’d left me with, written by Rosalie, cold and impersonal. They had to go, they had to leave because they were a danger to me. That they would leave me to live out my life in peace and wished me the best. It was the kind of very polite missive that cut right through me and made me feel very small and insignificant.

“Don’t worry about the others,” Jasper said soothingly. “They’re fine. Everyone misses you. I miss you.”

“You do?” I sounded pitiful.

“So very much.” His voice cracks and I can hear the pain, the longing. “I’m so sorry Alice.”

“I’ll forgive you as soon as you get here,” I yawn. “In person, I promise. How far away are you?”

“It’s going to take me a couple of days, but I’ll leave as soon as you go to sleep.”

“Tell me,” I began, sleep prickling at me. “What you’ve been doing.”

His voice was warm and melodic and I couldn’t distinguish a single word of it as my mind grew fuzzier, aware of nothing but Jasper’s voice and the warmth of my phone screen.

Home, home, he was coming home. And we’d never, ever be parted again. I refused, I couldn’t. He was home…

Love you, love you. The words drip in my mind, the last conscious thought I had.

If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.

I blinked sleepily as my phone alarm went off for school, balanced on the edge of my nightstand. I had fallen asleep in an odd little cocoon of pillows and blankets but it was the deepest sleep I’d had in weeks.

I had only the vaguest memory of my dreams, of Jasper’s voice and comfort, tears of desperation and then of relief. I had felt safe, hopeful again. Whatever it had been, I felt clearer than I had in a long time.

And as I climbed out of bed, I saw the blood-stone, where it had fallen next to my pillow. Instead of tossing it amongst the others, I left it where it fell.

Maybe it would give me another nice dream tonight.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Sorry to keep going on about this but I have anti-vaxx parents so it's important to me, but homeopathic groups are so fucking predatory. They specifically target people who are justifiably wary of the medical system (mainly women of color, especially black women) and people who are either chronically or terminally ill and desperate for something that makes them feel in control of their illness.

They push bullshit "traditional medicines" and use all the right buzzwords to make people scared of both medical professionals and standard Western medicine and then they push themselves as the "safe" and "natural" alternative. They employ cult tactics to make people scared of the world so that they don't feel like there's anyone they can trust except [insert "wellness" company].

They leap at any bit of fear, any tiny medical complication or bad experience, and they use that as their opening to dig into people's heads. The best case scenario for a lot of the victims of these groups is going fucking bankrupt because they spent thousands on what is essentially water that had a leaf in it for a very brief moment, but a lot of people end up dying because they put their trust in these scams. People try to use crystals and colloidal silver to treat their cancer, get "chakra" massages for their heart conditions, drink pennyroyal tea to induce "natural" abortions.

A lot of these groups also end up turning into actual cults, which is a whole other can of worms. The founders of these companies become controlling, violent, turn themselves into religious figures. Then suddenly people in the group find themselves transferring their "ascended" leader's mummified corpse across state lines in the car trunk.

And then the victims get blamed for it, mocked and harassed. And I get it but I'm also the child of someone who is neck deep in that mindset and I've seen much how fear is the driving force. And the more and more misinformation and disinformation becomes common not just online but also on the news and on tv, the more people end up falling into these groups.

You can argue that people who fall for those things are just idiots who don't know how to do research, but the simple fact is that search engines? News sites? Youtube? Social media entirely? Those are becoming increasingly dominated by "wellness" cults and anti-science nonsense and it's getting harder and harder to pull people out of that spiral. Especially right now, with how fucking terribly the US government at least has handled covid; people know they can't fully trust government agencies to take care of their health, and these predatory groups are just giving them explanations for that distrust, even if those explanations are wrong.