#mal...malewife

[m4rs-ex3]

no actually tell me why people hate mal i cannot understand this

[flipperworld]

Chapter 285 - Memram's Power

[prettysurethatsakidney]

Rendering.. save me.. rendering…. Save me rendering

Rendering has once again saved me lol tried making him look older since he’s apparently in his late to mid 40s😭

Y’all the Dicobug ship has strong death grip on me like everytime I see fanart or an edit I go into I fit of excitement giggles and stimming I don’t think this is healthy for me LMFAOO😭

Anyway here’s some fanart I’ve started it’s my first time actually drawing a ship from media it’s not done and it’s not perfect but I need to draw my favourite thing rn lol

[llilyrose]

So, you know that ISAT au I mentioned in my yass-girlboss King post??

HHHHHEEEERE WE GO .... info below keep reading!!! lots of words!!!! In Stars And Time FULL spoilers!!!!!

(Note: The Reset AU will be posted on @slowlysoluminary but i will be reblogging from my main)

There are some really interesting Siffrin-Meets-The-King-First aus that float around. I see them sometime! they're great! But I, as an adoring King fan, had to sit down and ask myself:

"So, uhh, like why?"

AND I DID SOME THINKING!!!!!

The King notices you're looping in Act 3. That's great! Not for Siffrin, but great narratively. If he notices it in that loop specifically, I feel like he would notice in other loops, too.

So, Act 5. The King notices how much of a formidable opponent siffrin is (among other things), acknowledges he's from the same country, recognizes wish craft, yadda yadda yadda.

He wants Siffrin to understand and resonate with his reasons for trapping an entire country in time, and while Siffrin is busy in his mind space fighting Mal Du Pays, the King makes a wish. AND HE LOOPS!!!!!??????

... Uhh, kind of? Not really. It resets the timeline all the way back to when the country was erased, but instead of the King having full memory, they're more like... vague snippets that hint at what he once was.

So, um! The first part of the AU is about the King's 10-year-long descent into madness. It's heavily condensed but it's there!! there's lore there!! I'm a king fan he needs a backstory.

"His name is Lazare" HE HAD TO HAVE A NAME BEFORE HIS KING DAYS... it's heavily implied the King wasn't his original name, and my headcanon helpfully supplied that he underwent a Change inside the house during his rise to power. I think there's like, a Head Defender? And the King was Head Defender, with full access to all libraries inside the house, when he started going crazy.

At 22 he loses all his memory while travelling in Vaugarde. Nobody knows his name so he comes up with one! He meets Siffrin 4 years later and they both travel Vaugarde together.

He becomes a defender at 29 because we see firsthand how INVESTED this dude is in Vaugarde. He wants, NEEDS this country to be safe!! he has a lot of patriotism!!! He's not actively searching for what happened to him or his country, he's just accepted it and is building himself up as a person.

oh boy .. when he turns 31 he becomes Head Defender.... And when he starts reading higher-access books throughout the house documenting a disappearing country? He gets MORBIDLY curious. And... well... this fixation leads him down the rabbit hole that got him where he is today! Except, this time, with Siffrin on his side...?

Yup! Siffrin is here! They've been here the whole time! Siffrin watches a man he's grown to love and adore fall into the Deep End. And he would find the strength to be mad about what he's doing if it weren't for the fact he was super sympathetic!!! ugh!!! sympathy!!!

Siffrin agrees with the King... but not really? He agrees with his reasons but completely disagrees with the way he's going about it. The change from Lazare to King was gradual, but towards the end he treats Siffrin more like an object of study than a friend.

The King takes his cloak and hat to study the stitching, the King won't let him cut or dye his hair again because he wants (NEEDS) this still image of his culture, etc.

Siffrin pretends his behavior doesn't bother him (because the King goes full Mansplain Manipulate Malewife on him if he voices his dissent) and keeps sneaking away from the King using his hat-less/cloak-less disguise.

In doing so, he meets a wild Mirabelle! It becomes a habit to visit her and the villagers under this "disguise" (it's only convincing in the way that Clark Kent is convincing) and he's feeling that same friendship with them that he used to back when the King was Lazarus.

... Until the House gets frozen? And the king starts Freezing People In Time For Real? No warning? Siffrin is HORRIFIED, rightfully, and also super upset. Partly because Mirabelle "got frozen" (she did not get frozen) and partly because the king has TOTALLY LOST HIS MIND NOW. no trace or remnant of who he used to be. but siffrin wants to hold on.

and then Siffrin gets stuck in a time loop! Whoops! Honest mistake!

"How does he get stuck in a Time Loop if there's no party to stick with?" ok so. of course he's going to learn Wish Craft from the King, duh. The King tells him literally everything about rhe country as he discovers it (albeit, in incoherent rambles.). And he also has his own muscle memory to draw from!

In desperation, he makes a wish: Save Vaugarde/Sav the King.

"Which one of those two is it?" Idk! That's what he spends the timeloops finding out!

Oh, wait, now that I've talked about the time loops, I CAN TALK ABOUT LOOP!!! LOOP IS NEW AND DIFFERENT!!!

^^ This was the initial ref sheet i made while brainstorming for this au (and also the sheet that birthed King In Magical Girl Poses)

"So what's loop's deal?" yeah, um, that's the thing? Loop doesn't know either!

Loop is not hiding their identity! Much like King, they domn't remember anything until afterthe Reset. They're Siffrin, yes, but not Siffrin from SASASA:AP. They're Siffrin from In Stars and Time. They're THE Siffrin that the King's wish Reset!

Thus, Loop looks very different!!!! And acts a little bit different!!! Siffrin is the only one who can see Loop, for the time being, and they follow him throughout the loops instead of staying stagnant under the Favor Tree.

They don't like the idea of not knowing who they are, or where they're from. Siffrin sympathizes with the star, initially thinking that they just... had the same thing happen to them that happened to the king? But the reason Loop follows Siffrin through the house is because they NEED to know who they used to be, and what in the Universe happened to them. Certain things trigger certain memories, and... it certainly doesn't help that the party enters the fray.

"So was the King's wish not important?" THE KING'S WISH WAS VERY IMPORTANT.

Not only did it CAUSE the reset, but it gave King the precise tools to get a timeline that fulfilled his wish (It's not the Universe's fault he lost himself and his only chance).

BUT ALSO!! ALSOOOOOOO!!!! THE KING'S WISH CORRUPTED THE WHOLE TIMELINE.

Loops are meant to reset to the day before, with no one"s memory remaining except for Siffrin's.

This loop completely Reset the timeline.

The King kept hints of his memories from the past.

The party gets dejá vū from the moment they meet to the moment they step foot in the house. They feel like something is missing.

Loop shouldn't be here. Loop should be... Loop. Loop didn't wish to be here - it's a direct violaton of his initial wish to stay with his friends, but it's a wish that technically got overwritten when the Reset happened?

Ironically, Siffrin is the only one Out Of The Loop (hehe)

,,,,,,,,,

"okay so what's the stuff IN the timeloop?" you see. you seeeeee. I've been worldbuilding so that I can figure that out. And I still don't know..... I'm setting it up with this post so I can elaborate on anything later (asks are appreciated)

"You should write/draw about this" I am! Ao3 is llilyrose but idk if I'll end up posting anything there. Of course, my tumblr is llilyrose, too....

"You stole this from user llilyrose on ISAT discord!" um, look at my url again. thx

"What if I have questions about the worldbuilding/characters/etc." send an ask, fool.... I'd really appreciate it .....

[hauntedeyes123456]

Lista das minhas dinâmicas de ship favoritas (e que talvez explique alguns dos ships entre os meus Ocs)

Girlboss x malewife

Humano x não humano (tipo um monstro/fantasma/vampiro etc)

Tímido x extrovertido (essa é básica mas não deixa de ser muito fofo)

Literais opostos (seja de estética ou personalidade)

Extremamente afetivo x sério e mal humorado (que na verdade gosta muito do afeto mas finge que não pra manter a pose)

flerta 24/7 x não sabe reagir e cora facilmente

E deve ter mais alguns mas eu esqueci agora, se eu lembrar eu volto pra colocar mais

[daydreamervalchen]

Was eine smarte Frage! :) Falls noch niemand die Frage zurückgestellt hat: Zur “Feier” der Zusatzfragen zu CoL bin ich mal so frech: Bitte drei green flags, drei red flags und die love language deines OC! Plus spaßeshalber wie würde das ideale Date aussehen bzw. wo würde dein OC am liebsten hingehen wollen? Und das Lieblingsdessert. thx🥰💌🥧

Dankeschön ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Green Flags

🌹Ich hab schon mal erwähnt, dass Vlad Hausmannsqualitäten hat bzw. ein malewife ist, er ist also dahingehend sehr erwachsen und hat so gar kein Problem damit den Haushalt zu schmeißen und allgemein kümmert er sich wirklich gerne um andere. Seinen Partner würde er in der Hinsicht viel spoilen und allgemein ist er supportiv.

🌹Vlad ist zwar nicht der gesprächigste Kerl, aber er ist ein ausgezeichneter Zuhörer. Selbst, wenn man selbst nicht viel reden möchte, dann kann man mit Vlad auch einfach ganz gechillt "co-existieren", er ist keine Klette und hat auch nichts dagegen, wenn man zu zweit in einem Raum sitzt und unterschiedliche Dinge tut. Kurzum Vlad gibt einem Freiraum.

🌹Vlad ist ein aufmerksamer Mensch und wenn er Geschenke macht, dann wird man von ihm immer etwas selbstgemachtes bekommen, dass mit viel Liebe und Herzblut gemacht ist. Vlad ist kein Fan der Konsumgesellschaft, also sieht er keinen Sinn darin Geld für etwas Materielles auszugeben, das von Herzen kommen sollte. Es gibt also von Vlad keinen Schmuck oder Konzerttickets, er verschenkt lieber DIY-Geschenkkörbe mit selbstgemachten Goodies, einen selbstgestrickten Pullover, eine einzige Jacke, die er selbst bemalt hat, selbstgebackene Cookies oder kleine Notizen.

Red Flags

🥀Wenn man mit Vlad zusammenkommt oder sein will, dann muss man sich bei ihm im Klaren sein, dass seine Familie immer an erster Stelle steht. Das ist zwar an sich keine richtige red flag, aber jemand, der viel Aufmerksamkeit und Beisammensein braucht, der wird bei Vlad manchmal auf Granit beißen. Er stellt seine Babushka und seine Baba Vasya immer ganz oben an, erst danach kommt alles andere.

🥀Vlad isn't out of the closet yet. Zumindest gegenüber seiner Oma und Großtante. Man sollte also nicht erwarten, dass er den Typ, den er datet so schnell mit nachhause bringen und seiner Familie vorstellen wird. Je nach Person, kann das natürlich kein gutes Zeichen sein oder schlecht aufgenommen werden.

🥀Vlad ist viel beschäftigt, er arbeitet und kümmert sich nebenbei um seine betagten Familienmitglieder, um Hund und Hof und babysittet manchmal. Und schlafen muss man(n) auch manchmal (auch wenn er nicht will xD). Er hat also nicht sonderlich viel Freizeit (Fernbeziehungen wären da wohl eher was) aber er bemüht sich immerhin, dass er dann nachts in Träumen mit Leuten abhängt (irgendwie muss man sich ja die Nacht um die Ohren schlagen, während alle anderen schlafen) Vlad sliding into other peoples dreams like a DM will never not be funny

🥀Bonus: Vlad hängt immer noch sehr an seinem (toten) Exfreund und ist in Sachen Liebe ein absoluter Slowburn/Nullchecker-Typ, der die Sachen langsam angehen will, das Gefühl "Liebe" müsste ihm eines mit dem sprichwörtlichen Zaunpfahl überziehen, dass er überhaupt seine Gefühle realisiert😭

Lovelanguage

🫱🏻‍🫲🏼Das war so viel schwierige als erwartet...acts of service macht Vlad allgemein, das bezieht sich nicht nur auf romantische Beziehungen, gleiches gilt für gift giving...uff...sagen wir einfach die Formel sieht so aus: je 1/4 acts of service, 1/4 gift giving, 1/4 quality time (mostly in dreams) und 1/4 physical touch👀

Date

💏🏻Denke ich habe schon mal erwähnt, dass Vlad und Dates ganz schwieriges Thema ist. Er mag keine Dates...er geht nicht gerne auf Dates, besonders erste Dates sind awkaward und weird...Vlad kann man ein Date nur schmackhaft machen, wenn man es ihm nicht als ein Date verkauft :')

Aber Vlad hat an Dates an sich keine hohen Ansprüche...zusammen Spazierengehen, gemeinsames Kochen oder Backen, "zufällig" im gleichen Café abhängen, ein Picknick, Erdbeeren pflücken, sich gegenseitig mit Wasserfarben anpinseln...bei Vlad muss man nicht mit irgendwas spektakuläres um die Ecke kommen.

Aber sagen wir mal Vlad findet das Abhängen in den Träumen anderer ist eigentlich der beste Ort für ein Date This-isn't-a-date-date. So seltsam das auch klingen mag :'D Es ist einfach so, als würde er in einem Raum abhängen, den Vlad bestenfalls noch nach seinen Wünschen manipulieren kann. Wanna hang out in a café in Paris? Got ya. Wanna have a make out session between the stars. Give me as sec. Wanna just sit around in silence while we watch a sunrise? Sure thing.

Dessert

🥧Auch nicht so einfach zu beantworten, aber wohl am ehesten Sharlotka (ein russischer Apfelkuchen) aber ist nur dann 10/10 wenn babuksha ihn macht. Aber allgemein alles mit Apfel und Zimt und russische Süßigkeiten.

[icebrooding]

ok some of these are top tier but cadeyrn/trahearne wins for making me choke on my water

what if i just toss a bunch of male sylvari npc names in a group selector and see what kind of bizarre pairings i get

[honourablefool]

Dr. Mal Practice and his malewife

[smol-feralgremlin]

Trick or treat! :D ~ @ghost-town-story

A treat for You!!

A series of incorrect quotes :D

~~~

Quin: So are we flirting right now? Nyrra: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU Quin: That doesn’t answer my question

~~~

Mal: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Sen: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

~~~

Aldon: What do you think Sylpha will do for a distraction? Gallus: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. Building explodes and several car alarms go off Gallus: … or they could do that.

~~~

Aldon: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

~~~

Aldon: Violence isn't the answer. Sylpha: You’re right. Aldon: sighs in relief Sylpha: Violence is the question. Aldon: What? Sylpha, bolting away: And the answer is yes. Aldon, running after them: NO-

~~~

Alim: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

~~~

Sen: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Mal: But I'm a vegan. Sen: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

~~~

Valda: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. Sylpha: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

[enyoalkis]

Ask game! 20, 22, 30

These answers turned out long 😅 Whoops!

20. Favorite Hetalia relationship dynamic?

Enemies to lovers - Fruk and Rusame

Like an old married couple - Also Fruk.

Girlboss/Malewife - Aushun, nuff said.

Childhood sweethearts - To me, this is Lietbel (my OTP). They also have a knight/lady or princess dynamic, but this even could apply to Lietpol too because... Feliks IS the pretty princess. 🤣

Arranged marriage - Lietpol because of the Union of Krewo and the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. But I also can see this in Lietbel in historical Hetalia, as the Principality of Polotsk (considered the first proto-Belarusian state) joined with the Grand Duchy of Lithuania to avoid invasions from both the Teutonic Knights and Mongol Empire. It could be a 3-way marriage union... or 4 if you count Ukraine? 😉

22. Top favorite fanfictions?

Oh man, I have a lot! I'm going to list some old fanfics I faved on my old FFNet acc that I used to love in high school though, because I hardly read fanfics anymore.

Nineteen Ninety - VoicesoftheSoul - One of the first fics of my OTP Lietbel I've read.

Belaya Rus: On a Spring Day in 1487 - rev lady mal - Belarus history-centric. This fic first introduced me to learning about the history of Belarus and her long history with Lithuania in the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. There are historical inaccuracies and she comes off as OOC, but I appreciate this fic as an attempt to show her history that is not known in the mainstream in Hetalia-style – and not portray her to be a hostile bitch or have a romantic or sexual obsession over Ivan.

Rings, Rejection, and an Unintentional Fiancé - Anonymous Dream Echo - One of my ultimate fave Lietbel fanfics! I still go back to re-read this here and there despite there being some cultural inaccuracies.

Plastic Talks - Mandelene - This fic kinda helped me cope with my teen angst and issues at the time. Still is a so well-written high school AU of Nyo!America.

Raven Tears - Dontmezwitme - Probably one of the most heartwrenching fics about loss and colonization of the Americas I've read. This focuses on the fanon personification of all American Indians/Indigenous Americans and First Nations raising her twin sons that later became known as the U.S. and Canada.

Childs Play - pupeez4eva - It sadly never finished but this was my favorite comedy fic of nations being turned back into their child selves.

A Colony, a Babysitter, and an Old Rivalry - TheFreakZone - A comedy fic on England planning a date with France but is looking for a babysitter for Gibraltar. Spain volunteers because he wants to claim him back. So many good witty liners!

30. BroTP? Headcanons?

When I was in high school, America/Canada was my BroTP (still love em tho!) but now as an adult, they are Poland/Belarus, Poland/Hungary (sometimes, I ship them romantically 😅), and Lithuania/Latvia!

Most of my headcanons for each here below will be referencing real-life history.

Poland/Balarus:

Natallia sees Feliks more as an actual brother than her "biological" brother Ivan, as they were around each other often for most of their later childhood and adolescent years during the Polish-Lithuania union and Commonwealth. The Belarusian language is greatly influenced by Polish. I know in canon their relationship comes off as more hostile, but I depict them in my head as having a bickering sibling-like relationship.

Because of their history, Natallia and Feliks can speak a vernacular language/dialect that may be a creole and strange mix of Polish and Belarusian: Tutejšy (or tutejszy). It was commonly spoken by peasants since it was simple speech. I read somewhere (can't remember where) that in Lithuania near the Lithuania-Belarus border, you can find some elderly Lithuanian Poles speaking it, except it may be blended with the Russian language too.

Feliks calls Natallia "Nastka," a Polish diminutive of her name. She calls him "Felek."

They both LOOVE gossiping and spilling to each other pop culture tea! I mean, Natallia knows so much countless trivia, even Paris Hilton's dog name, in canon so I can see her being a bit chronically online googling celeb tea.

Poland/Hungary:

They've been besties forever since early childhood, even married at least once before Poland married Lithuania.

Austria definitely has his moments of being jealous of their friendship.

Both are fluent in each others' languages and when they communicate, they speak in a creole language that baffles other countries because it sounds "so strange." Hungarian is not considered an Indo-European language.

Feliks calls Erzsébet "Ela" and "Ellcia," Polish diminutives of her name.

Lithuania/Latvia:

I generally consider them both to be "biological" brothers since they're both Baltic, with Lithuania being the older sibling. Although, sometimes I like toying with the idea they're cousins because Lithuania and Latvia do have diverging cultures/histories.

They love playing basketball together (although, Raivis' true favorite sport is hockey since it's Latvia's most popular sport). And they both act like loud frat boys when watching games, whether in person or on TV.

They both like to pull potato-themed pranks occasionally on Belarus and Ireland, some other countries with high potato consumption and have potato stereotypes.

Raivis has physically aged more since declaring independence in the 90s and his economy growing stronger, so he's now physically 17 – and has grown taller than Tolys!

Both are great singers and dancers, but Raivis is the "better" one.

Unlike Tolys, Raivis does not dislike Gilbert as much, at least not as much as he used to. But Raivis is willing to join in with Tolys in annoying him.

[skyetenshi]

Eiskalter Rausch, ne? Reynolds komplette Ermittlungsmethoden basieren darauf die Freunde der Jungs zu benutzen. Der hat an keiner Stelle einen eigenen Kontakt eingeschaltet. Stattdessen benutzte er Carlos, Jeffrey, Lesley, Tante Mathilda und naja Skinny und los getreten wurde das ganze durch rubbish George, der sich eigentlich an die Jungs wenden wollte. Der einzige den Reynolds einbringt ist Cotta aber das ist halt sein normaler Job und selbst den benutzt er zur Analyse.

Ich bin mir nicht sicher ob ich diese Methoden in Ordnung finde. Vor allem möchte ich mal anbringen, dass wegen unseren Jungs noch nie auf Jeffrey geschossen wurde. Wegen Reynolds aber schon.

Wenn das Peter wüsste.

Wartet Mal. Reynolds will das ganze geheimhalten. Aber ich kann mich nicht erinnern, dass er auch Jeffrey zum Schweigen beschworen hat und irgendwie glaube ich nicht , dass Jeffrey etwas vor seiner Malewife geheimhält.

Peter wird alles erfahren!

[eclipsecrowned]

Ship bias for GALE // anonymous

Gale/Karlach. I believe the exact trajectory of my shipping this was me and Ax seeing what intermuse ships might work, thinking it'd be interesting for the two walking time bombs to try and navigate a relationship and to see how Gale would try to outsmart her physical limitations -- And then we blacked out and woke up surrounded by lore for the next few decades in-universe. But that's the free space in bingo, shipping with Ax. Went in-game. Gale says he can be 'smooth enough for two' when he meets Karlach and I blacked out again. I'm never recovering from these two. The fleeting flicker of their lives, raging against the dying of the light. The juxtaposing aesthetics of jacked girlboss and plush malewife. How they only need more time. How this can end in either tragedy or triumph with no middle ground for them. It kills me this is as near as I can tell a rarepair.

Bloodweave. I love the cat and mouse of Gale trying to get to the bottom of Astarion in Act 1 only to realize he keeps getting closer and closer to bedrock. Both so clearly struggling with self-worth and being 'enough' for someone else. Gale who wants something real off of Astarion manipulating whoever romances him from day one. Just the hilarity of Gale refusing to play into his dramatics and Astarion getting slowly more hissy about it. Besides, my boy loves cats, and Astarion is just a feral cat who needs some domesticating -- and therapy. So much therapy. Also, catch me with that narrative foil of both seeking to ascend, to become something more, to become something worthy and never having to worry again, never realizing it will be their ruination.

Gale/Halsin. Listen I just think they both need a soft place to land after everything they've been through. I enjoy the parallel of them both being their god's special guy -- Gale for the worse with Mystra and how he was used, and Halsin being strengthened for his oaths to Silvanus. Also I think their personal lives would be interesting, given Gale is so modest he made Tara leave the room if he was changing and other characters noting Halsin might outlaw clothing if he was capable. There's some interesting compare/contrast between them that I'd like to dive into regarding both their larger and personal lore. The fact they are both huge brained nerds and that Halsin would patiently endure Gale's 'Um Actually' infodump of the hour and provide feedback/engagement just sweetens the deal for me. The tism4tism Old Man Yaoi I can believe in.

Gale/Mal. Yes I am including my ship with @umbralined's oc. And you will like it. The way Gale gets manhandled and challenged by this tiefling with a horrible attitude. The way his magical theory falls on deaf ears. The way Mal makes him reframe the world and society and a hundred other things that frankly were beyond his notice. Also he deserves to be topped as only Mal can top him. There's some interesting give and take in this dynamic that I think can really help propel Gale forward, and also maybe be... if not a positive influence, than at least an influence on Mal.

Gale/Raphael. Listen. God Gale said 'once more with feeling' and got so deep under Raphael's skin that I never fully recovered. The way they're both playing with ambition and tipping the scales. The way Gale would so easily fall prey to Raphael in the right set of circumstances. I've never fully played with this one but the concept gnaws at me, for better or for worse.

[mightbesmall]

Well I don’t know what to do for Day 4, I can’t draw well and don’t know what to write so I guess I’ll rate birthday jacket cards and make an epic port fest drabble for tomorrow. I’m going to be rating them based off of aesthetics because I’m basic

Heartslabyul!

7/10 it’s Riddle and I love Riddle but I’m not the biggest fan of the font used on his name. Though I find the equestrian club badge pleasing.

6/10 it’s the science club badge for me💀 though I’m loving the ordinary malewife’s confidence, he looks great but that science club badge… oh and the font again, it just irks me but looks so interesting at the same time???

8/10 because it’s Cater, I love Cater. His pop music club badge is a bit funky but whether or not it’s a good funky is still under speculation. Basically, I’m biased he’s an 8/10.

7/10 because he has that smirk and it both fills me with hot and makes me want to punch him. Ace is a pretty boy so naturally I feel both drawn to him and annoyed by him, mainly because he insulted us on our first day as janitor. You don’t insult janitors! They are hero’s of the community! He loses points for it >:(

8/10. Enough said. Look at him, look at the blueberry bbg and tell me he isn’t perfect. He’s not, but he’s trying to be better and that’s all that matters.

Savanaclaw!

7/10 so like, he’s gorgeous and all, handsome. pretty. stunning. But my god, that font is all I’m looking at and I’m not sure if I like it or not.

9/10 LOOK AT MY BOY IN HIS GET UP!! HE’S SO CUTE! oh and the font… do I like it? I don’t know. His birthday is 7 days after mine though so that’s cool!

10/10 JACKIE POO!!! I actually like the font used here, it suits him so well. AND THE LITTLE WOLF AHHHH!! God I’m so biased.

Octavinelle!

7/10 it’s Azul and he’s very babygirl, don’t get me wrong, but is he… too babygirl? I like the font used here as well, he’s a fancy lad and thus has a fancy font spelling his name.

8/10. Mountain hiking club is my favourite🫶. And I just like Jade?

10/10!!! Floyd my little skrunkly!!!

Scarabia!

7/10 as most of the boys, I enjoy the font and the club badge but the cap seems a bit out of place. HOWEVER! Kalim has a bow tie so that earns my heart.

8/10 the font is a bit funky but bro, look at Jamil! He looks so crazed in my peripheral vision and I like that.

Pomefiore!

10/10 he’s so majestic like look at the hair! And the font makes me happy, he shares a birthday with my friend and it’s 2 days before mine. He’s rocking that outfit and the jacket fits him well, the badges are pleasing to look at and it’s Vil.

9/10 the font throws me off but I think I like it. Rook literally can pull off fedoras and caps so well, the science club badge annoys me still but Rook looks amazing and is smiling in a somewhat not creepy way.

10/10 Epel looks to manly rn, literally amazing. The badges all look great, that font is cute and just, Epel.

Ignihyde!

10/10 he looks so cute??? I mean not is much as Ortho but he looks amazing??? The font annoys me but his ratness makes up for it, his ponytail is so fucking cute! And the cap!! Bro pulls it off.

20/10. Ortho is the most cutest, wholesome, brotherly, sweetest boy of all the boys. Literally would have him as my little brother if I could. Enough said.

Diasomnia!

8/10 Mal Mal is adorable and all, that waistcoat is genuinely my favourite, but the mix of cute and wet dog is too much, I love it. HIS LITTLE CLUB BADGE OH MY GOD- the font is funky in a good way and his nails are painted. I’d actually straighten his bow tie, dust off his jacket and tell him that whoever his date is are very lucky to have him, my son! Like??? He’s such a swaggy gentleman???

10/10! He’s got the bat-goth vibe and I love it! Peepaw is looking very stylish and amazing, though I don’t know if he’s posing like he’s an instagram girl or he’s an old man who lost his cane. Still, he is a viable old bat.

8/10 he looks a little stoic but that’s just Silver! I’d hug him (book 7…) though the font is weird it’s enjoyable.

7/10 it’s a bit basic but my boy looks happy! The font is loud and suits him well, as previously stated I really like the equestrian club badge. Sebek is like a son to me and my son gets 7 out of 10!

[edogawa-division]

Ding Dong Happy Valentine's Day! It seems that the Shinozakis (sans AMU) have received not one, not two, but three gifts each! Let's start with Kaoru, shall we?

Opening up the first gift revealed to be...

...One half of a couple's matching pajama set

Opening up the second gift revealed to be...

...A valentines basket filled with Red Bull.

Opening up the third and final gift revealed to be...

...A spider hair pin.

'Happy Valentine's Day, my electric blueberry! I hope you're having fun and I can't wait to see you and Lyall soon, I love you both so much, hope you enjoy my gifts! Mwah!

- Joey.'

Moving onto A.D.A., opening up her first gift revealed to be...

...A beautiful bouquet of blue and white flowers.

Opening her second gift revealed to be...

...A white fluffy fur shawl.

Opening her third and final gift revealed to be...

...Handcrafted butterflies.

There was no note that came with them but A.D.A. received a message, a faint feeling of arms wrapping around her and a familiar voice in her ear.

'Happy Valentine's Day, Princess, from both me and the kids, they're the ones who made those butterflies for you, as for me, I'll see you soon to give you a more 'special' gift.'

Lastly, moving onto A.R.K., opening his first gift revealed to be...

...A red and black bottle filled with mysterious liquid.

Opening his second gift revealed to be...

...Organs belonging to some poor dismantled android.

Opening his third and final gift revealed to be...

...A small remote controller.

There wasn't a note but A.R.K. received a message all the same, feeling a nip on his neck and a familiar voice in his ear.

'Happy Valentine's Day, Spidey. Here's a bottle of your favorite Cyberspace alcohol, I got the whole day planned so come home quick, the organs belong to some shmuck from the Hunting Grounds and Nagini let me buy off a couple more dipshits to do as we please, as for the remote? Well...'

A.R.K. was then sent a picture of his beloved tiger bending over and spreading herself open to reveal a large vibrator inside her.

'I figured you'd want some entertainment on the way home. <3'

Happy Valentine's Day! 💗

With Kaoru…

Kaoru twirled around in her gaming chair in her room giggling all the while chugging a red bull from the basket Joey had given her. Her boytoy twink malewife boyfriend really did know the way to her heart. Hearing a notification from her computer she turned around and Kaoru’s giggles began to turn more…perverted. There on her screen was a live recording of Joey and Lyall getting it on. Well, more like Lyall destroying Joey who seemed to be wearing a slutty nun’s costume. 

The sounds coming from her computer would even make even the most blush and Kaoru was glad she had long soundproofed her room…and locked her door as when she entered it. Getting comfortable in her chair Kaoru began to intently watch the video.

“Wow Lyall how many different noises are you making Joey let out?”

With A.D.A & A.R.K…

A.D.A squealed as she looked at the little handmade butterflies her children had made for her. Oh, she was going to cry her babies were growing up so fast. She was going to give them so many hugs and kisses when she came home. Turning her head she saw A.R.K holding on to the small remote like his robotic life depended on it.  

“A.R.K? What on earth are you doing?”

A.R.K ignored his twin’s question as he repeatedly pressed the button on the small remote. The loud cackles he let out telling A.D.A that perhaps it was best that she didn't know. Noticing the various mechanical organs around him A.D.A sighed rubbing her forehead.

“A.R.K! Clean up those organs before Kaoru sees them or worse A.M.U decides to take a bite of one!”

“How many fucking times are you gonna let me fucking live that incident down?”

“Until A.M.U and Seizou stop trying to take a bite out of the other androids!” 

“Ughhhh fine! Fucking later tho I gotta go visit Kitty.”

“Unbelievable.”

“Oh like you’re not gonna go fucking see Mal you freak.”

[from-space-or-something]

just remembered that the first time i saw the term "malewife" was before i Used The Internet regularly and instead of looking it up like a normal person i used my Context Clues skills that i was so good at in elementary school to discern the meaning. the only problem was that instead of making the connection of "male" as in "masculine", i assumed it was "mal" as in "malicious" or "malevolent" and my conclusion was that "malewife", pronounced "mal-eh-wife", meant "evil wife"