#man I've missed this and I didn't even realize it tbh...... like it turns out yes it is actually fun and engaging to watch new things

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

[busket]

I understand personal preference and that some people just don't like ships with men, and that's ok! but I'm annoyed at the implication from some fans that labru has less depth as a relationship than farcille or any other wlw ship in dungeon meshi, and the idea that people are only shipping it as a joke, or because they're horny, or because they're misogynistic and don't want to look at female characters, etc etc. I've seen people call it like, "bloodlust obsession that turns to horniness" and it made me realize that the people who don't ship labru don't understand their dynamic at all. labru shippers didn't just pull this out of our asses lol

a lot of the story around kabru involves how he and laios are perfect opposites of eachother. NARRATIVE FOILS, if you will. everywhere kabru thrives (social interaction, charisma, the surface) laios completely fails. and everywhere that laios is most successful (in the dungeon against monsters) kabru keeps getting killed. not only that but their desires are mirrors of each other too: laios grew up bullied by humans and wanted to become a monster, kabru grew up dehumanized by his villagers and then the elves, so he wants to affirm his identity as a human being.

despite how kabru should be repulsed by laios due to his hatred of monsters, he's drawn to him instead. kabru spends the entire story trying to get to laios to talk to him and to get to know him. firstly he knows laios is closest to defeating the dungeon lord and needs to sus out if he's a good person, but he admits that he really wants to be friends with laios too, not just to determine his virtue but to see what value laios sees in monsters. he wants laios to share his interest in people, he wants laios to be interested in him back. kabru never had any true bloodlust or desire to kill laios, he was prepared to go that far if laios wasn't a good person, but once finding out that he has good intentions kabru spends all his energy trying to help laios instead. and when you consider that kabru spent his childhood believing he was half monster because of how he was ostracized in utaya, his curiosity about how laios could possibly love monsters feels so much more personal.

and for laios, he's not used to anyone taking an interest in him. people are constantly telling him he's weird, and the person he believed to be his best friend told him he couldn't stand him. he misses falin so dearly because she thinks he's the coolest man on earth, so meeting someone and being told "I hate monsters but I still want to know YOU" would have an impact on him, I think. in postcanon they become good friends, kabru becomes laios' right hand man to help him with more of the dicey social aspects of being a leader. laios asks him to stay by his side and help him, and kabru says "yeah, that's what I've been doing this whole time"

I wouldn't claim that a romantic relationship between them is CANON, but I wouldn't even say that about farcille either tbh (and I love farcille just as much so don't come for me lol) this isn't a comedy crackship that yaoi fans just made up. laios and kabru are really multi dimensional characters and they're made to reflect eachother in every way, even down to their physical design. so it's not out of nowhere that people ship them

[bookworm551]

Take the Edge Off | Part 8 | Pillow Talk

You finally get a quiet moment of quality time with Miguel.

A/N: wooooooow It’s been a hot minute. I feel like I’m coming back to my neopets after abandoning them for years. Tbh I just needed to take a break, I’ve been working and going to school, so it’s been a lot. Anyways, I’ve come back to feed you before disappearing again for an unknown amount of time. Also, this is pretty self indulgent ngl, so this is for the praise kink girlies. Enjoy <3

Warnings: smut, overstimulation, the usual

Word count: 6.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 9 Part 10

You woke up slowly the next morning. The soft light that flooded into the room caused you to stir lazily from your dreamless sleep. You stretched with a deep yawn, feeling a dull a soreness in your arms and shoulders that reminded you of all the things you had done with Miguel the night before.

You shifted under the covers and blinked your bleary eyes open. As your vision adjusted, you registered the figure of Miguel asleep next to you. He was positioned on his stomach with his face half-way buried in his pillow, and his back moved up and down slowly with his deep, even breaths. He had his arms tucked under his pillow, and there were some loose strands of hair that had fallen over his face. It took every ounce of your strength to not brush it aside for fear that you would wake him and break this quiet moment together.

You watched him for a second with a soft smile. Laying on your side, you admired his resting face. This was the first time you had ever woken up with him still there next to you. Every other time he had either left immediately or after you had fallen asleep. It was a nice change, and as you lay there quietly, you couldn't help but wish you woke up like this every day.

"I can feel you staring," Miguel grumbled quietly, startling you out of your reverie. You smiled sheepishly as he blinked his eyes open to look at you. They were still bleary with sleepiness, and his soft gaze warmed your chest.

"I didn't realize you were up," you stated, your own voice hoarse from sleep. He let out a little huff before closing his eyes again, not saying anything in return. "How long have you been awake?" You asked quietly. He sighed, not opening his eyes. "I woke up with your tossing and turning about 20 minutes ago," he replied finally.

You hummed and offered softly, "Sorry." You had gained a reputation in your life as a restless sleeper, and apparently, it didn’t matter how much he had worn you out the night before. "It's fine," Miguel grunted as he shifted and rolled onto his back. "I should've been up earlier than that."

You smiled. You were glad he had chosen to stay here, to let you see him like this. Knowing he was a busy man, it meant a lot to you. "Full schedule today?" you asked.

Miguel sighed, running a hand down his face. "The briefing for our mission is at noon," he said. "After that, I've got a stack of reports I need to review." That sounded boring to you, but you couldn't help but grin at his words: our mission. You had almost forgotten that he added you to the team, and the notion of working with Miguel again excited you.

"Who else is on the team?" You asked casually, fighting a lazy yawn as you stretched out next to him.

"I don't think you know all of them," he stated. You hummed and replied, "Well, who would I know?" He paused a second to consider. "Me, a handful of Peters," he began. "Malala, Jess, and she's been asking to bring Gwen, too."

You rolled over onto your side, resting your head on your hand with a smirk. "Me," you added smugly. Miguel rolled his eyes. "You," he conceded. "And I think that's it."

You gave a short, thoughtful hum. There was one name you noticed was missing from the list, someone you thought deserved to be on the team as well. You knew trying to change the roster would upset Miguel, but you couldn't ignore the gut feeling you had telling you that there was one more person who should be added to the mission.

Miguel seemed to notice that you were thinking about something. "What?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised suspiciously. You looked up at him and smiled reluctantly. "You're not gonna like it," you told him. His dark eyes narrowed. "What?" He repeated, sounding even more suspicious than before.

"Promise you won't be mad?" You asked. "No," he responded evenly. "You probably piss me off more than anyone here."

You chuckled at that. "That's probably true," you admitted, moving closer to him as you did. He had a few faint scars that were littered across his shoulders and chest, and you began absently tracing your fingers over them.

After a quiet second, he prompted gently, "What is it?"

You didn't reply for a moment as your fingers danced over the faint lines on his skin. Finally, you looked back up at his face and found he was gazing down at you expectantly. With a sigh, you finally said, "You need to add Ben to the team."

Miguel's face hardened immediately. "No," he replied sharply. You sighed again. "I already know what you're gonna say," you stated. Miguel huffed an irritated breath. "He's the reason we're in this mess. He's the reason this anomaly has been able to cause all that damage."

"That wasn't his fault," you defended gently. "It could have happened to anyone, and I know how badly he wants to make it right." Miguel scoffed, and he sat up from the bed. "Nothing he can do will bring back Earth-2319," he stated sharply. "All those lives are gone forever."

He turned his body to step out of bed, and you sat up with him, allowing the covers to slip off your bare torso. You had known he would to be upset by your suggestion, but you didn't want this to turn into an argument.

Reaching a hand out, you gently grabbed his shoulder to keep him from leaving. "And don't you think he knows that?" You pointed out softly. "Can't you imagine how terrible he feels?"

Miguel felt tense under your palm, and he didn't reply. You were afraid that he was going to shrug you off, and you wouldn't have blamed him. You could still remember his haunted gaze when he came to you after the loss of Earth-2319. This mission was personal for him, and you knew Miguel wasn't going to do anything he thought would jeopardize it.

After a silent second, he sighed heavily, and his stiff shoulders sagged under your hand. "I don't have to imagine," he muttered quietly.

A taut silence followed his words. The air around you suddenly felt fragile, and you were afraid of breathing for fear of breaking it. You didn't know what he was referring to, and you wanted desperately to ask, but it seemed almost disrespectful to do so. So instead, you waited.

Miguel seemed to sense your curiosity and breathed out another sigh. "When I first traveled across the multiverse," he began slowly, "I found something I wanted—badly. I thought it was harmless, so...I decided to take it for myself."

You closed your eyes regretfully, understanding that what he was implying broke the canon of that universe. You shifted your body closer to the edge of the bed so you could see his face. His eyes were downcast with the memory replaying in his head, a faraway look on his face.

"I didn't know what would happen until it was too late," he finished softly.

You let his words hang in the air for a moment before taking the hand that was still resting on his shoulder, raising it up to cup his cheek, and turning his face toward yours. His eyes were still fixed downward, but he allowed himself to be guided by your hand.

"You didn't know any better," you said finally. "You can't blame yourself for what you didn't know." He let out a small huff and turned his face away from you again, pulling away from your hand. "It was reckless and stupid," he muttered. "I was stupid."

"You weren't stu—"

"I destroyed a universe," he snapped, his eyes finally flashing up to your face. Grief and anger were etched in his face, and in his eyes, you saw the same pain the night after Earth-2319 was lost. You realized now how much worse it must have been for him that day, and your chest ached for him.

"I understand," you whispered softly. "And I’m sorry, I didn't know." He scoffed. "It's not exactly something I brag about," he stated darkly. "And it's not something I ever plan on repeating. I can't afford to be wrong. Being wrong costs lives."

You didn't say anything for a moment, and Miguel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. There was that quiet openness again, the subtle vulnerability that seemed to be showing more and more. He obviously meant what he said, and you understood that his words came from painful experience.

Your hand raised up to rest on his bare chest, and your thumb brushed his skin gently. "You can't put it all on yourself," you whispered to him. "Nobody is that strong." Miguel didn't reply for a second before whispering back, "I have to be."

You sighed quietly and shook your head. "No, you don't," you insisted. "That's why you have all of us. Jess, Peter, me, everyone—we're all here for you."

Miguel had been staring at the ground as you spoke, but his eyes moved up to meet yours at your last sentence. His gaze was piercing, almost overwhelming. It made you almost nervous to say what you were going to say, but you held his stare as you emphasized your next words: "I'm here for you."

Your statement hovered in the air, leaving the silence that followed to rest heavy around you. Your chest tightened anxiously as Miguel stared at you wordlessly. His eyes were impossible to read. Had you gone too far? You knew he didn't want a relationship. Were your words too close to a confession?

Finally, your worries were allayed when Miguel leaned in and pressed his lips to yours in a tender kiss. It was different than the passionate way he usually made out with you when you were fucking. This was slow, like he was taking his time just to appreciate how your lips felt against his. It almost felt like a token of gratitude.

"You make it easier," he whispered when he finally broke away from your mouth. Your chest swelled as you smiled softly at him. “Good,” you replied quietly. “That’s what I’m here for.” A small smile cracked the grave expression he wore, and you kissed him again.

When you pulled back again, he studied your face for a second. “You still want me to add Ben, don’t you?” He guessed.

You sighed softly and nodded. “Wouldn't you do anything to make it right?” You asked him quietly. His eyes were still fixed on your lips, but you could tell he was thinking about your words. Without replying, he simply nodded his head.

“So would Ben,” you continued. “Please let him come.”

He still didn’t say anything for a moment. He sat quietly for a few heartbeats before letting out a deep sigh. “I'll think about it,” he said finally. You smiled at him, knowing that even him contemplating your plea was victory enough. “Thank you,” you told him, closing the space between you with a kiss. He hummed against your lip before murmuring, “You know, I thought I said I don't want you to talk about Ben around me.”

You smiled mischievously. “Well, we're breaking my rule about not discussing work in bed,” you pointed out. A faint smirk appeared on his lips. “Well, maybe I don't care about your rules,” he stated with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Then why should I care about yours?” You shot back. Miguel shifted from off the edge of the bed to lean forward over you, forcing you to lay down slowly under him. “Because there are consequences to breaking my rules, remember?” He said in a low voice, his eyes darkening with desire.

Your heart began to race as he trapped your body under his. “No,” you replied coyly, “I think I forgot.” Raising a hand to his head, you pulled his face down just above yours. “You'll have to remind me,” you whispered to him before pulling him down into a hard kiss.

You brought your hand around his head to run your fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. After a second, he moved his lips down to your neck while one of his hands traveled up your stomach to palm your breast, earning a quiet moan from you. Even after all the things he had done to you last night, you were ready for more.

You pushed yourself up off the mattress, forcing Miguel to roll back over onto his back as you straddled his waist. The seriousness from his face had disappeared when you settled on top of him. A smug grin pulled at his lips as the covers slipped off of your body, and his eyes drank in the sight of your bare body before him.

"Not too tired after last night?" He asked in an amused tone. You leaned forward and planted your hands on either side of his head as you brought your face close to his. "Baby, I could go all day," you purred before pressing your lips to his and slipping your tongue between them.

Miguel's hands gripped at your thighs, and his breathing deepened as he shifted under you. You brought one hand up to run your fingers through his hair, and when you broke away from his mouth, you moved your lips down to kiss under his jaw. He tilted his head back with a soft sigh to allow you better access to the soft skin of his neck.

Before you could go any further, Miguel's watch began beeping, disturbing the growing anticipation you both felt. You groaned, and he sighed regretfully as he raised his arm up to read the message he had received. You lifted your head up slightly to look at his face. He was clearly irritated by the interruption, and his eyes flicked back and forth as he quickly read the message.

"It's Jess," he explained. "She's asking about the meeting later." You rolled your eyes. There was always somebody or something that demanded his attention, and you were sick of it. You didn't want to let him go this time.

"You know," you began slowly, "there's this cool feature on these gizmos." You grabbed his arm and raised it up so you could see the screen. Miguel watched in amusement as you pressed the screen until you found what you were looking for.

"There," you said proudly, pressing the 'silent' button in his watch's configuration. "Much better." His eyes moved from your face to the watch and then back to your face with a raised eyebrow. "Is that why you never respond to my messages?" He asked suspiciously. You gave him a sly smile. "I just like it better when you tell me in person," you defended innocently.

"Mhmm," he hummed in response, a subtle smirk pulling on his lips as you kissed them again. You were eager to pick up the momentum you had lost to Jess's message, and you quickly returned your mouth to his neck again.

"We can't," he murmured, the bass of his voice vibrating against your lips. "I need to get up."

You hummed softly before whispering against his skin, "No."

You heard him breathe out a chuckle, and his hands came up to pull your arms gently off his body. "I know," he replied, sitting up as he did. "But people are going to notice I'm missing."

A spike of determination shot up in you, the frustration at his constant leaving finally showing. With both hands, you shoved him back down against the mattress by his chest, using most of your weight to keep him down. "Let them notice," you told him. "You're not going anywhere."

Under your hands, Miguel's breathing deepened, and his eyes flashed with lust at your assertion. His desire for you was clearly painted on his face, but with a clenched jaw, he sighed regretfully. "I can't stay," he insisted. "There's too much to do."

Despite his words, his fingers were gripping at your thighs, and he shifted under you restlessly. His resolve was hanging by a thread, and you knew exactly how to snap it.

Your mouth curled in a wicked grin as you lowered your face to hover over his own. "You're gonna stay right here with me until I'm through with you," you whispered to him. "You know why?"

Miguel was obviously fighting to keep his breathing steady, and his eyes were fixed on your lips when he managed to ask, "Why?" You lowered your face just above his, your eyes locking and noses brushing against each other. Then, softly, smugly, you said, "Because this pussy is yours, and I know how much you love it."

Miguel's jaw clenched at your words, and when you pressed your lips to his again, he was no longer holding back. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth aggressively as his fingers dug into your hips. From beneath you, his body shifted as he propped himself more upright and pushed your hips down to where his hardened cock was waiting.

You smiled deviously as he kissed you. The feeling of power rushed to your head at being able to distract him from his work with only a few words. Your heart was pounding in anticipation, and with the soft breathy moans you were both making, the ache between your legs was growing almost painful.

You allowed yourself to be guided back by his hard, gripping hands. A thrill ran up through your body when you felt his cock brush against your hot entrance. You could see the unfocused look in Miguel's eyes, like the only thing he could think about was being inside you.

To be mischievous, you teased your pussy around his length. Miguel groaned ever so softly, and his eyes burned with lust. "I don't have time for your fucking teasing," he growled. You smirked, always enjoying getting him riled up. He was even better when he was frustrated.

"You're so impatient," you observed with an amused voice. "I'm gonna have to teach you how to wait nicely one day." Miguel wasn't so amused. "I don't have time for this," he replied, shifting under you to try and align himself to you. You laughed. "That's the point," you said. "You need to learn how to—"

You cut yourself off with a sharp gasp. Miguel clearly had enough of your lecture and finally slammed himself into you, causing you to fall forward so that your head rested against his. The sudden feeling of him stretching you out so unexpectedly had made your mind freeze, and for a second, you couldn't speak.

"You were saying?" Miguel muttered smugly when you opened your eyes again. You couldn't even remember what you were saying. The only thing on your mind now was how badly you needed to fuck him.

With Miguel's hands still on your hips, you began moving eagerly along the length of his cock. You rocked your hips against his, grinding your pussy hard against him. Quiet whines began to rise up from your throat as you raised yourself up and down, slowly at first, but you soon increased your pace as he began grunting from the feeling of you riding him.

Miguel was gripping your waist tightly and gasping quietly as he helped you move up and down his length. You fell forward, planting your hands on his chest as you moved your hips against his. His eyes met yours with an electrifying gaze that only encouraged your movements.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, his eyes fixed on your face with a lustful sort of reverence as his hands slowly slid up the sides of your torso. "You're so fucking pretty."

Damn him and his words that sent your heart fluttering. Even there, in the midst of riding him, you felt your face grow warm from his praise. Of course, you had heard him say things like that before, but for some reason, it hit you in a different way that turned you into a blushing mess on top of him.

Miguel apparently noticed the effect his praise had over you because his lips twisted in a half-smirk, and he sat up off the bed to bring his face up to yours. "My pretty girl," he murmured, his voice deep as he spoke the words against your lips.

You seemed to forget how to breathe. Your heart was pounding furiously in your chest as you locked eyes with him. His dark, piercing gaze that once seemed like an impenetrable wall was now soft and warm. The way he was staring at you made you feel like he could see into your soul, like he knew what you felt for him, what you wanted from him. And in his eyes, you could almost swear that you could see it, too.

His strong arms wrapped themselves slowly around your torso to hold you against him, and his lips pressed against yours gently. You didn't even realize that he was rolling you over until you were on your back beneath him, and he began driving his hips into yours.

You let out a soft moan and broke away from his lips. Miguel's head fell to your shoulder as he moved steadily inside you, his cock pumping in and out of your soaking cunt. His hot breath fanned against your collarbones, and you could hear how he grunted softly with each thrust.

"God, I can't get enough of you," he panted, his voice hoarse and quiet. "Fucking you is—it's like Rapture."

You nearly came apart right there. His words and his cock had you completely at his mercy. One of your hands gripped at his muscular back while the other slid up the back of his neck to run through his dark hair. It took most of your effort to even form a coherent thought, and speaking felt next to impossible.

"Only you—," you started, cutting yourself off with a moan. "Only you can m-make me feel like this. You fuck me so good."

Miguel groaned quietly at your words. Lifting his face up from your shoulder, he rested his forehead against yours. "You know why?" He asked quietly. You opened your eyes to meet his, not even bothering to respond. "Because you're my pretty girl," he asserted. "And this pussy is mine." As he spoke, Miguel's hand slipped down between your bodies until he found your clit with his thumb.

You cried out in ecstasy as he circled his thumb around while still driving his cock deep inside you. Your hand moved from his back to grip the headboard above you as he fucked you relentlessly. The sounds of his hips slapping against yours were in-time with each whining moan you made. You barely had time to register that you were cumming until it took over your whole body.

You were practically screaming his name as your body shook uncontrollably. You pulled him close to you while his hips continued thrusting into you ceaselessly. Bliss completely overtook your every faculty, and the only thing your mind could process was Miguel.

His eyes never left your face as he watched you completely unravel under him. He gave a long, deep moan at the feeling of you clenching around him. His lips brushed against yours as he slowed down his pace for you, aware of how your body was beginning to grow overstimulated, and he murmured your name under his breath softly.

As you finished riding out your high, your body was still alight with pleasure, and your heart was still beating wildly in your chest, but you finally managed to breathe properly again. Blinking your eyes open, Miguel's dark gaze was hypnotizing. He was clearly proud of how he had caused you to come so undone, and he whispered, "You're so pretty when you cum."

All you could do to respond was moan softly. He never failed to get you off, and he never failed to praise you when you did.

With one hand still entangled in his hair, you pulled his face down to yours in a sloppy kiss. As Miguel's tongue danced against yours, he pulled himself out of you. You were still breathing hard when he sat up off your body. Taking advantage of the fact that you were still recovering from your high, he turned you over so that you were on your stomach and lifted your ass up to him.

Even if you had wanted to resist him, your mind was still hazy from all the pleasure buzzing through your body. Following his prompts, you obediently propped yourself up on your knees, your back arched as you held onto the sheets.

"What a good girl you are," he murmured, running his hand down your back. You hummed softly at his touch and turned your head to look at him from the corner of your eye. "Only for you," you whispered. You heard him give a heavy sigh, and you felt the head of his cock teasing the entrance of your soaking cunt.

"That's right," he purred. "You're my good girl."

That was the last thing he said before slamming his cock back into you. You gasped sharply, startled by his sudden movements as he picked up an eager pace. Still sensitive from your orgasm, you whimpered softly against the sheets.

"It's too much," you whined, gripping the comforter to try and pull yourself forward to escape the sensations overpowering you. "You can take it, babygirl," he assured you gently, his cock moving faster and harder inside you. "I know you can."

You couldn't say anything in response. You were high on his words and drunk off his cock. Your eyes were clenched shut as he pounded into you. The sound of his hips slapping against your ass filled the air, and with each thrust into you, he hit against your G-spot over and over again. Your body felt weak, and you were completely at his mercy.

"Miguel," you moaned, unable to say anything else. He cursed softly under his breath, and his hands gripped your hips tightly to keep you steady. "You're doing so good, cariño," he told you, his fingers digging into your skin. "Just a little more."

His gentle tone contrasted sharply against the almost savage way he was fucking you. Your breathing came in shallow gasps, and your legs started to give out from under you. Miguel dropped one of his hands to support himself on the mattress. His large body seemed to envelope yours, and you could feel the heat from his skin warming your back. His panting breath tickled your ear as he continued ramming into you relentlessly.

You turned your face toward his, your noses brushing against each other. His lips were grazing the corner of your mouth in feather-light touches. Your eyes, blurred and unfocused, met his, and in that moment, a three-word phrase entered your mind that you had sworn to yourself you would never say to him.

"Miguel, I-I—"

You couldn't finish your sentence before your body was racked by another orgasm. You hadn't expected it, and it hit you hard and fast. A strangled cry emerged from your throat as your body trembled under his.

Miguel became desperate when he saw you were cumming again. With each thrust, he grunted loudly, overpowering the sound of your quiet gasping. Your whole body was shaking, and just when it was getting to be too much for you to handle, Miguel grew still with a ragged moan as he came inside you.

For a moment, there was just the sounds of your rapid breathing as you were both lost in the intoxicating feeling of finishing together. His head rested against yours, his skin hot to the touch. The sounds of his panting still tickled your ear while his hand slowly roamed from your waist up your back. Finally, with a gentle kiss to your shoulder, he pulled out of you.

Your hands released the vise grip they had on the sheets as you slumped down against the bed. Your mind was still flooded with the pleasure you felt, and you didn't have the capacity to do anything besides lay there and try to recover your breath.

Turning onto your back, you looked up at Miguel. His hair had fallen into his face in a messy way that made him even more handsome. Raising your free hand up to his face, you brushed his hair back so that you could see him clearly. His eyes seemed unfocused as his mind was clouded with pleasure. After a quiet second of staring at each other, he lowered his face to place a lazy kiss on your mouth.

God, how you wanted this to last. You wanted him to fuck you senseless every day. You wanted him to kiss you every hour, to think of you every minute, to be with you every second. Being together like this, open and vulnerable and comfortable with each other, it was the first time you felt a sense of connection with another person since you became Spider-Woman.

When he broke away from your lips, he slumped down beside you with a deep sigh. You glanced over at his face, a faint glimmer of sweat shining on his forehead, and admired for the millionth time just how good he looked.

As your breathing was finally evening out, you closed your eyes and felt like you could fall right back to sleep next to him again.

"Don't even think about it," Miguel mumbled, breaking the silence between you. "Hmm?" You questioned, opening your eyes to look at him.

"You're not falling asleep again," he said with a pointed look.

You groaned, rolling onto your side to face him better. "Why not?" You asked innocently. Miguel stretched his arms before answering, his muscles flexing in a way that made you crave another round with him. "Because I need to go," he sighed. "And that means you do, too."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You can't just fuck me like that and expect me to be able to get up and leave after," you told him wryly.

Miguel huffed out a laugh, a cocky smile on his face. "I'm serious," you insisted, unable to suppress your own grin. The rare sight of Miguel's smile paired with the high you were still feeling made you giddy. "I'm sure you are," he replied, "but I'm also serious about needing to go."

You rolled your eyes. "Then go," you told him theatrically. "I won't beg for your company." Despite your words, you did indeed want to beg for his company. Every time he left, it was harder and harder for you to let him go.

He huffed again. "I'm not going to leave you alone in my room," he replied dryly.

You smirked at him. "Afraid I'm gonna steal your stuff?" You joked. Miguel's eyes turned to you with an amused gleam. "It's a possibility," he said evenly. "You still haven't given me my shirt back." You closed your eyes for a moment with a sigh. "Oh, yeah," you mumbled as you stretched out like a cat. "I definitely meant to do that."

Miguel hummed his disbelief, but there was humor in his subtle smile. "If I didn't know any better," he began slowly, reaching over to wrap his arm around you and pull you closer to him, "I would say you're lying."

Your own smile widened as you looked up at him mischievously, and you rolled over so that you rested on his chest. "Oh, you think you know better?" You asked in a sly tone, hovering your face over his.

His mouth was pulled in a crooked grin as his fingers brushed lazily across your bare back. "I know I do," he replied with a deep voice, his eyes fixed on your lips.

You hummed thoughtfully. "Well, maybe you're wrong," you asserted.

"I'm never wrong."

"I don't believe that."

"Name one time."

You paused, trying to think of a time when he did or said something incorrect, but unfortunately, nothing came to mind. You rolled your eyes. "I don't know," you admitted finally, earning a smug look from Miguel. "But one day, you'll have to admit you were wrong about something," you insisted, "and I'll make sure I'm there to see when you do."

"You may be waiting for a while," he remarked. You hummed thoughtfully, tracing a finger over the outlines of his face. "I’m a patient person," you stated simply. "And you never know. That day could come sooner than you think."

He stared up at you in amusement. "If you say so," he replied. "Though, I wouldn't use 'patient' as a word to describe you." You raised an eyebrow in interest. "Oh? And what would you use?" You asked smoothly.

Miguel pretended to think as he slowly stroked his fingers up and down your back. "There are a lot of words I could use," he began. "Stubborn is probably at the top of the list." You rolled your eyes, trying and failing to suppress a smile. "And?" You prompted, feeling genuine interest in how he perceived you.

"And..." he thought for a second, "passionate."

You smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?" You said smugly. Miguel's lips also turned upwards in a subtle smile. "Not just sex," he clarified. "You're passionate about being Spider-Woman, and you care about the people around you. You're...kind."

Your stomach fluttered a little bit. You could tell he wasn't just saying that. The sincerity in his voice as he spoke was perfectly clear.

You smiled softly at him. "Keep going," you urged, though you were still trying to seem aloof at his words. He hummed thoughtfully. "You're strong," he listed. "You're fast. You're smart."

"Don't forget funny," you added.

Miguel gave you a skeptical look. "I didn't," he said. "It's just not on the list."

You couldn't stop yourself from laughing at that. "Shut up," you chastised, lightly smacking his chest as you recovered from his joke. His eyes gleamed as he stared up at your laughing face. There was a brief moment of silence as he looked up at you with half a smile on his lips before he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Two words and your heart was beating furiously in your chest. You were struck dumb, unable to think of what you could say to appropriately respond to him. He had called you pretty a dozen times, and you logically knew that he found you attractive based on your many encounters, but it wasn't just the words he spoke, it was how he said it—softly, earnestly, like it was something too precious to be said aloud.

And there was that three-word phrase again whispering in your mind. You could never say it, you knew that. It would be awkward, uncomfortable, and even potentially ruin your standing in the Society, but none of those reasons could stop you from thinking it when he was gazing up at you with his soft, brown eyes with a subtle smile on his full lips.

Miguel must've realized you were having trouble coming up with a response. Breaking the half-awkward silence around you, he said, "But you know what word I would use to describe you right now?"

You were pulled out of your stupor by his question, your face growing warm in embarrassment. "Hmm?" You hummed curiously.

"Treacherous," he replied simply.

Your eyebrows scrunched in surprise. "Treacherous?" You repeated. "How so?"

He lifted his head up just enough so that your lips were barely touching before whispering, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing right now."

You blinked down at him innocently. "What am I doing?" You whispered back, your lips grazing his softly.

He let you place a ghost of a kiss to his lips before finally replying, "Stalling." With that, he began sitting up off the bed, forcing you to roll off his body. "We have to go.”

You draped your arm over your eyes with a groan. He knew you too well. You had hoped he wouldn't notice you trying to drag on the pillow talk to keep him there with you. Now, it seems you’ve run out of time.

Miguel sat up off the bed and stretched. You watched how the muscles in his back flexed tightly before he stood to get dressed. Sighing, you also sat up, grabbing your underwear from off the floor where Miguel had discarded it the previous night before walking to the bathroom.

When you came back out, Miguel was already dressed in his suit, his hair slicked back in his typical fashion. He noticed you emerging from the bathroom and tossed you your web shooters. Catching them, you placed them on your wrists and watched as your suit enveloped your body.

He must’ve seen the wonder on your face because he said, “I told you it’s cooler than nanotech.” You smiled at him. “It is,” you conceded, stepping over toward him. “I don’t think I ever said thank you.”

He smirked down at you, his gaze flickering back and forth between your eyes and your lips. “I don’t recall that you ever did,” he replied. You placed one hand on his chest and let it wander up to his neck. Even on your tiptoes, he was too tall for you to kiss, so he had to follow your prompting hands and lean over to kiss you.

When you broke away from Miguel, you whispered, “Thank you.” He wore a soft smile on his lips as he whispered back, “You’re welcome,” before pressing them back to your mouth. Kissing him was so addicting, and you regretted having to leave once again.

Pulling away from you, Miguel sighed. “Listen,” he started, “finding the anomaly needs to be our first priority now.” You nodded in agreement, but you could sense there was more he was going to say. “That means,” he continued slowly, “no distractions.”

You studied his face for a second before you understood his implication. “You mean this?” You asked, your stomach tightening anxiously as you thought about him cutting you off. “Yes,” he replied before quickly adding, “until the anomaly is caught.”

You frowned. You had no idea how long that could take. The anomaly, ‘Ghost’ as he had been nicknamed, had already been at large far longer than any of you could have guessed, and he could stay in hiding between universes for far longer.

Miguel apparently could tell what you were thinking, and he raised one of his hands up to hold your chin gently. “You are a distraction for me,” he told you. “Now, I put you on the team because you can be useful, but I can’t be here lounging around with you when I need to be preparing for this, understand?”

You sighed in resignation. It made sense. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, it made sense. He was trying to run this whole operation by himself, and even though you wanted him to stay with you, you knew that you were just being selfish.

“Yes,” you replied reluctantly. He nodded, his thumb running back and forth along your chin gently. “Good,” he said. “I’ll see you at the meeting at 12.”

You sighed again. “Alright, I’ll see you there.” You turned to walk toward the door, but when Miguel called out your name, you paused and turned back around. He stepped toward you purposefully, and your heart leapt as you thought he was going to let you stay a while longer.

With his body hovering close to yours, he reached a hand out to grab your arm gently. You let him lift it up, your eyes never leaving his face as you noted how close his lips were to yours, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking down at your gizmo and was tapping away at the screen.

Confused, you looked down to see what he was doing. You watched as he pressed the button marked ‘silent,’ effectively disabling the setting you had it on. “No more of that either,” he told you with pointed look.

You gave a guilty smile. “Fair enough,” you conceded, taking back your arm. “But just so you know, I think this new rule of yours is a good idea, because now I’m going to catch this anomaly so fast, it’ll make your head spin.”

He smiled in amusement at your statement. “If you do,” he said, “I’ll fuck you until you can’t speak.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “You already do that,” you pointed out. He shrugged. “Not anymore,” he countered evenly. You shrugged back at him and replied casually, “But soon enough.”

With that, you turned back to the door with a smirk on your face and the determined notion that you were going to be the one to catch the anomaly.

[detransraichu]

it really does feel like having emotional intelligence as a woman is a full-time fucking job. like you're so aware of how to defuse situations and fawn and mask and be pwetty and be so polite so that no man gets mad or creepy around you. it's like we're stuck on a theatre play and we're not allowed to leave our roles. but i wanna leave my role. i'm a woman i'm a hairy sweaty grunting angsty animal like any other trying to survive in a male dominated world and i have to be miss sunshine while therapizing and mothering men emotionally???? FUCK THAT i'm done!!!! I'M DONE!!!! no more nice woman. i'll use my emotional intelligence, my empathy, my comfort skills, only on those who deserve it. i don't want to overextend myself emotionally for other ppl's sake bc i was raised trained to be a Good Little Girl and do whatever other people needed me to do and become arm candy or an overworked mother with a shitty husband. like holy shit. i'm really realizing my upbringing living as a girl reallyyyy affected me deeply i'm glad in some ways bc thank god i'm not emotionally constipated like cis men, but also sad bc it's like i'm a soldier who was trained for a war i never wanted to go to anyway, and that i wasn't even contractually obligated to go to!!! and now i'm realizing i can opt out. i can be my own woman. i can be a human being first, woman second, and i don't need to be defined by my upbringing. i can be my own kind of woman and i can be human now. like i can start acting like an actual human being and not my idea of a Good Woman

i have finally fully 100% realized that i don't need to brainwash myself into worrying abt every little thing i do bc the patriarchy wants to keep me submissive and insecure and soft spoken. it wants me to doubt myself and stay in line. an easily swayed woman is a good woman by male society's standards. child-like, always needing guidance, not loud and brash and unlovable. when a man is outspoken, loud and proud he's the next president. when women do it they're nags and feminazi bitches. and i actually love bitches, i'm more of a dog person than a cat person tbh. i'm just a human who happens to be a woman too. it's the least interesting thing about me, like my height or hair color or me being a lesbian!!! it doesn't define me beyond just a trait i happen to have. i'm really starting to shed the layers of internalized misogyny i've always had about myself and it's SOOOO FUCKIGN FREEING!!!!! like oh my fucking god. i was like a turtle who kept retreating into her shell at the smallest thing and didn't want to inconvenience anybody. so unnecessary! turns out i don't need to do that i can just be a little guy who lives her life to THE FULLEST!!!!! bc you only live once bitches!!!! seize the moment be ur true self don't fawn all the time it's okay to be a grown ass adult and speak ur mind and make ur OWN choices!!!!

[kazutora-lover]

Not A Dream It's Love — Feel It

Itoshi Rin x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, best friends to lovers

Summary: You lose who you love the most — or, how you turn your biggest nightmare into your biggest blessing

Warnings: nothing too dramatic I suppose? Slightly ooc!rin?

Notes: Ugh, I don't even know what this is tbh skskskw. This is the first time that I've written something on the angstier side. I genuinely feel self-conscious about this one but oh well, hope someone enjoys ~

"We need to break up."

You couldn't believe your ears. Did Rin, your boyfriend of many years, your fiancé really just tell you that he is breaking up with you? Yes, you had bickered here and there like a normal and healthy couple would, but nothing serious ever occurred and you always made up immediately after. The both of you were way too attached to each other.

You didn't understand. What happened to Rin to want to break up with you all of a sudden? Did Rin fall out of love with you? Did you say or do something so utterly stupid that Rin couldn't take it anymore? But that couldn't be, you would know if you did such thing. For sure.

"Huh? Rin wait, what are yo—"

You wanted to grab him, take your lover's hand into your own and talk it out but Rin didn't budge. His facial expression was unreadable and even if you tried hard enough to look past his facade, you couldn't see anything but determination. He really meant those horrible words you never wanted to hear. Especially not from him. The love of your life.

"I'm breaking up with you, y/n."

You really didn't know how to react. Your lips started to wobble involuntarily and your body began to shake like the loose leafs that hung on for dear life on a windy autumn day.

The way your full name left the lips of your lover in question, hurt you more than you could've ever imagined. Not even a knife to your heart could've caused you such tremendous pain. You're sure it couldn't. All that would be left, was a wound so deep it could never heal and yet it still would've healed better than your soul that came crushing down on you.

Your voice sounded hoarse. It's like you've been crying for hours already and yet it's only been mere minutes. Minutes of trying to figure out what had caused this.

"Why? Please tell me what it is? Did I make you uncomfortable? Did I not give you enough space? Or did someone else do something to make you say this?"

You couldn't help the thoughts rushing through your head. You felt like you were in a rush, one second being left unspoken and Rin would slip away and out of your hands like everything was a mere fever dream.

"Y/n, please don't make it harder than it already is. I don't love you anymore and to be honest, I've stopped loving you months ago."

The dark haired man let out a groan, really not being in the mood for any discussions. He just wanted to get it over with. No disruptions whatsoever.

"While I was with you, I realized that we were never meant to be and to be honest, we probably never have been to begin with. You were just never the person I ought to have. And you can't give me what I need. Needless to say that you've been damn clingy too. Thanks to that because it made me realize things before we were able to get married."

By now your face was drenched by your salty tears. You didn't even realize when exactly they started to fall but your emotions equaled an ocean right now — and oceans are big. Your broken heart in exchange? It got shattered into millions of small pieces.

You were sure no one would ever be able to pick up the pieces ever again. And if someone ever managed to pick up a few, there would be a lot of them missing, still. No one could love you like Itoshi Rin. You couldn't love anyone like you love Itoshi Rin.

"You'll get over it, Y/n. Don't worry about the apartment. I'll get my clothes and the other stuff by next week and then you're free to do whatever you want with the rest. Don't worry about sleeping on the sofa either. I'm sleeping at someone else's place."

It felt unbelievable how Rin didn't show the slightest tinge of emotion. He said those things with a tone so normal, you would think he was about to congratulate you on whatever happy ending you just achieved.

Rin began to disappear out of your vision but you couldn't move your body. You felt trapped, paralyzed and helpless. Screams of Rin's name left your lips but it was to no avail. The man you loved slipped right through your fingertips.

You must've been gone for a little bit because when you opened your eyes, you were greeted by a rather worried pair of eyes that stared right back at you.

There they were again, those teal eyes you loved so much but wait — what was Rin doing, sitting next to you?

With a voice as raspy as it was before, you called out for the very man by your side. "Rin?"

Rin sighed in relief at the sound of your voice and placed one of his slightly cold hands on your forehead. "Y/n for fucks sake, you need to stop doing that. Stop pushing yourself when you're sick. You've got me worried shitless."

You on the other hand couldn't quite grip what was happening. Rin was calling you by your nickname. The name only he used for you. Then you took a look around and slowly came to notice that you were in your room, resting on your bed with Rin right by your side.

Before you could stop yourself you blurted out, "Say my name again. Please?"

Your best friend took a good look at you at first but obliged nonetheless, though a little hesitantly, ".... Y/n?"

That's it. You were having a fever dream. None of that shit you dreamt about was real. You know it because you and Rin aren't even a thing. You aren't engaged nor are you dating. You're just .... friends. You're STILL friends.

Before you even understood what was happening to you, hot tears began to roll down your cheeks and not even a few seconds later, two soft hands engulfed your warm cheeks to wipe the salty droplets away.

That was all it took — all it took for you to shoot up and draw Rin in for a hug. A hug you desperately needed. Because even though you were aware of the fact that none of the events you just went through were real, you needed to feel Rin's warmth, his body, his heartbeat and the fact that he wouldn't slip away again.

The latter was at a loss for words as he stumbled forwards messily and right into his best friend's arms, yours. He immediately felt that something was wrong. Something felt different and it was a first for Rin to feel disheartened.

While the dark haired man opted to tighten his arms around you, he couldn't help himself to ask, in the softest voice he could muster, "Y/n? You wanna talk about it?"

It took Rin a few seconds, seconds way too long for his liking until he received a response. It was quiet and muffled and accompanied by occasional sniffles but he understood it nonetheless. "No need, it was just a stupid nightmare."

A low sigh escaped Rin's lips as he spoke, his voice dangerously close to your ear. "You know you can tell me everything, right?"

A shiver ran down your spine at the way Rin talked to you, cared for you. After realizing that you've been spacing out again, Rin squeezed your torso in assurance.

"I know. Thank's Rin."

But deep in your mind, you had a different answer.

"No. Not about this one."

A few days have gone by and you were good to go again. All thanks to your friends who stopped by multiple times a day to make sure you took care of yourself. Or more like, for them to take care of you because they knew how whiny you could get at times of their absence.

In the moments you were alone, you had enough time to think about what happened in that hellish nightmare of yours. You were almost convinced that your dream wanted to tell you something.

Would it be better to keep your feelings to yourself? All bottled up? Should you just move on and forget about Rin? You still have him as your best friend, right? Maybe that's as close as you'll get but at least you won't lose him, ever.

You felt the uneasiness creep up again because you actually planned to confess your feelings soon. Now? You weren't so sure anymore....

This time you were at home at Rin's place. You guys originally planned a movie night with some of your shared friends, or more like only your friends, as Rin only endured their presence because of you. Turns out the other's had different plans all of a sudden. So you went to Rin's alone. At least you could watch whatever you wanted, as the two of you weren't as picky as the others were.

While Rin sat on his sofa and got comfortable already, you sat on the floor in front of the tv, ready to choose whatever movie you would watch. "Rin, wanna watch a horror movie?"

You wriggled with your eyebrows and Rin couldn't help but laugh at you. "Yeah? Let's watch one Y/n, bet you'll end up crying like a baby."

You loved to hear Rin laugh, it's so beautiful and melodic. Melodic it was indeed because it stopped before you got to enjoy more of it, "And come sit on the sofa, are you trying to go blind down there so close to the tv?"

Turning your head to look at him, you threw him a little smirk, "You're one to talk, aren't you?"

A scoff and an eye roll later and he told you to finally sit down with him or else he wouldn't allow you to ever sit down on his sofa again.

When you asked him why, he had told you that the floor was dirty. Jokes on him though because.. did that mean that his place was dirty to begin with?

He didn't take it well when you told him that.

More than an hour later and you guys were fully engulfed in the movie. Well, you were. Somehow.

Rin didn't understand what exactly it was that captured your interest, as he thought the movie was way too boring and predictable. His interest though, laid upon you and you alone.

He watched as your eyes flickered from one corner of the tv to another, analyzing the actors movements with caution and reminding yourself under your breath that whatever you were seeing wasn't real.

Rin found it amusing how you always claimed to like horror movies but still got scared of them by the end anyways. And suddenly he felt like being mischievous as his arm found its way around your form to give you a surprising squeeze.

A big jump and one loud shriek of yours later and you found Rin next to you, chuckling. And even though you would've enjoyed the sight of him enjoying himself, you almost emptied your bladder right then and there.

A soft but exaggeratedly shaken sigh left your lips as you spoke, almost breathlessly, "Rin for fucks sake, you scared me."

The man in question shot you a deadpan look and raised a brow, "Yeah? Wasn't me though, your imagination must be playing tricks on you. How scary."

Another sigh left your parted lips and almost involuntary, your secret got spilled, in a voice as quiet as a whisper.

"Not as scary as my feelings for you."

And Rin heard. If the background noise of the tv was loud seconds ago, it was as quiet as a pin dropping to the floor when you spoke. And his eyes followed every single movement of your lips as to make sure that he's not the one imagining things now.

For him, the movie and everything else around him has been long forgotten. It's you he's interested in and he's going to make sure that this time, he will make his next step your new reality.

You don't have to be scared of your feelings if they're reciprocated, right?

At least that's what Rin believed, as his heart had found its place in your palms long ago.

[energysoda]

(ok so I got this ask awhile ago and responded to it but at the time my autistic ass didn't realize that it was prob a way of asking for like more of a piece of writing, and rn I feel like writing about it soooo yeah let's go)

CW: William Afton behavior (possessive, murderer, toxic, etc), sexual themes (nothing explicit, but I would give it a mature rating)

Sugar Daddy William Afton with a Goth Transmasc Partner Headcanons

You guys met each other in a music store, you were looking at an album and caught William's attention with your sense of style-- he found it intriguing

"I've heard about that band, are they any good?" He asked you, more of as an excuse to talk to you but there was some truth to it, he had heard about the band of the album you were looking at

At first you're kind of caught off guard, like why is this handsome older stranger talking to you, but you answer truthfully about the band since you assume that's probably the only reason he asked

After a while of small talk he ended up asking you out for dinner sometime which REALLY baffled you, but you ended up agreeing and that was the start of your somewhat unconventional relationship with him

When you found out he was the co-owner of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, you were really surprised and kind of starstruck since you were actually really fascinated about the case and the potential ghosts

Sometimes he considers confessing what he did, but realistically he holds himself back... He'd also make plans to create an animatronic for you to haunt just in case anything happened, having to kill you or otherwise

You introduce him to some goth bands and he actually ends up really liking some of them (Mf likes The Smiths, also The Cure tbh)

He likes how when he talks about more morbid topics like death or whatever how it doesn't turn you off, and how you actually are quite engaged in the conversation

Pays for your university tuition, your rent, etc

Would fund your entire transition, like if you wanted to go on testosterone or get top surgery or bottom surgery-- anything you wanted he would insist on covering it for you

Also like goes crazy with buying you new clothes, accessories, makeup, the works basically. he likes seeing you dressed up in things he got you it drives him absolutely wild

In general he likes to spoil you with gifts, expensive dinners, etc. (though you do have to work for it at least a little yk)

Insists on driving you everywhere (and probably would break your car so you have to rely on him)

When you came out to him as trans he was surprised since he's never really known a trans person before let alone been in a relationship with one, but this new information didn't affect how he sees you at all and he makes that clear

Sex goes crazy

Bro will praise you and degrade you at the same time fr

If you're wearing lipstick that is transferable and are around him, you bet that his neck and face are gonna end up being covered in lipstick marks and he honestly loves it

DEFINITELY has a big thing for marking you up, like he likes making it known that you belong to him (this can be in various ways: hickies, jewelry he gave you, etc)

He doms most of the time but once on a blue moon he lets you dom

He likes teasing you, especially if you get flustered easily

This old man is so horny omfg like bro is down bad for you

Sometimes when you're alone with him he lets you give him a makeover

Definitely have gone on romantic walks in graveyards together

He is literally obsessed with you, like a concerning amount

If anyone harasses you OR flirts with you, they mysteriously go missing, that's kinda crazy I wonder what happened

Have any transphobic family? Not anymore <3

Literally if someone even looks at you wrong, he will have something to say about it

After sex he surprisingly likes to cuddle, and sometimes you guys just sort of talk about life or whatever random thing before falling asleep in each other's arms

he's more cuddly when he's sleepy, it's kind of sweet

Ok I'm done with ideas, hopefully that is satisfactory for u guys

[x-authorship-x]

Sadly, family fics with them are a bit thin on the ground these days. With how pervasive Qui-Gon bashing has become, it's a lot harder to find fics with him that don't feature it and I mostly have given up trying. I'm usually fine with fics that are a bit judgemental, because he is a flawed man, but I can't read things where he's mean and heartless anymore after reading the books. There still are some fics with good family feelings on ao3 though! If you'd like a rec, off the top of my head I can think of the One Hundred Hours To Rearrange The Stars series by soft_but_gremlin, and the Reprise series by Elfpen, both of which feature time travel and handle Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan (both older and younger) well. I think they'd be up your alley.

Obi-Wan's willful nature gets him into trouble just as often as it gets him out of it, and he really does just have absolutely bonkers luck. Him going off alone to do something always ends with either a really lucky find or him in peril, though often both one right after the other.

(Yeah, the Melida/Daan arc - which is where Obi-Wan does that - drives me up the wall, and not in any of the ways I expected going into it. No joke, I went into those books thinking I'd be pissed as all hell at Qui-Gon, and instead came out of them hating Nield, being incredibly frustrated with Obi-Wan, and thinking that Qui-Gon was pretty much the only person in book 5 who was even remotely reasonable for like 90% of it. I could talk about it for literal hours, because oh my god. They're good books, but it was seriously a head trip to read them after only being exposed to the fanfics, because they're vastly different. I won't go into it or we'd be here all day, but it's a lot more complex than the very black and white take that a lot fandom gives it credit for.)

Wait what, how did I miss you talking about that?! An Inoichi and Shisui master-padawan fic would be so, so good, oh my god. I tried to go back to find anything you had on it, but Tumblr's search function is garbage so I didn't find anything. Which is so sad, please tell me more I want to know about baby padawan Shisui being gently parented by jedi master Inoichi 🥺

I'm glad to know my infodump was well received! I was a little nervous when I woke up and realized I had actually sent it, since I did kinda hit you with it out of nowhere and it is a pretty unpopular opinion these days, so it was a big relief when you didn't seem to mind!

Yo!

Well I'm not surprised either tbh, people love drama in their fics , they love Obi-wan (guilty as charged), and most fics need someone to come down on as the bad guy, so yeah I can absolutely see the fandom skewing that way... also thank you, I appreciate recs, I'll be sure to check them out! ☺️

(also I'm on board with the 'shut up omg neild' train, although you're also right that I've not read the books but just... osmosed the info but oh well)

Ahhh Tumblr is so goddamn broken, I tried to find my own prompt drabbles earlier and... no luck 🙃 more than happy to chat (or rediscuss) stuff tho :)

So I'd like to avoid the inevitable pitfalls of just applying the SWs universe to the Naruto characters and plotline (I'm just... not in the mood for the danzo/suicide/itachi arc, again) and focus on extracting just Inoichi and Shisui into SW plot etc. A cleaner cut that's not too heavy with two series' worth of plot.

So it would be something like... Inoichi is from a mid-rim planet, somewhere metropolitan, he presented a very strong telepathic skill with the force as a child so he was sent to the Jedi. Started training as a healer, using his mental strength to soothe others and the growing darkness, BUT then he found himself (as many Jedi do) called by the force out into the wider galaxy... to the edge of wild space. There, he finds a planet where there is a clan of people who are the only force sensitives on the planet, the Uchiha, who the government have turned against by fear of their abilities and of a coup. The Uchiha are in the middle of being massacred when Inoichi arrives, finds a six year old Shisui running for his life, and intervenes. Inoichi saves him and they run for Inoichi's ship, massively outnumbered and barely make it.

Magic Item Found: Adorable Child

Achievement Unlocked: Single Parenthood!

At the temple, inoichi is a very strong presence in Shisui's life in the creche and has taken a full-time role as a mind healer (to be around all the time lol) but they are both conscious that shisui is monitored for any taint of 'darkness' from his experiences - and the darker use of the force that the Uchiha were known for. Inoichi is more concerned with Shisui's well-being and his own lack of experience with children. Shisui is very worried about not being perfect and not internalising the Jedi code (gonna go freestyle interp on this one) enough to avoid attachment. Cue inoichi teaching himself to be a young father and shisui punishing himself with so much training and emotional pining that the crechmaster is concerned he'll be aging out of initiate classes by the time he's 10. Inoichi takes shisui as his Padawan as soon as possible (inoichi is like "my son 🥹" but not pushing too hard whilst shisui is like "I need to make him proud and that includes not being a burden🥹") and somehow (but also reaaaaaaally NOT surprising) they are the most emotionally intelligent master padawan duo DESPITE the huge hiccup in communication 😂

Inoichi: I will parent him SO WELL that he will be strong enough to live a long and fulfilling life, even when I am gone... Damn I love this kid :') (small but nagging concern for his flagrant attachment but knows it's healthy and human so weighs more on his shrink BG than ancient Jedi teaching... this is not popular but YOU try fighting with a doctor)

Shisui: I have to talk about my feelings, even though I'll be careful to avoid coming on too strong .. I WILL NOT get a bad grade in Padawan *proceeds to be the most loving and precious child possible, selfless and clever and loyal to such a degree that he's able to help others as well*

😂🤦

Inoichi is about, hm, 35? And Shisui is 20 (so Inoichi found Shisui, 6, when he was 21) which means... Inoichi is crechmates with Obi-wan and Quinlan :))))) and Shisui knows Anakin and Aayla

(*Fix It Fic clown music intensifying*)

I think the best way to transform canon from that point on is the simple acknowledgement that Shisui would be a Shadow. With the Uchiha's use of force manipulation plus Inoichi's own teaching in telepathy and empathetic communication AND Shisui's own incredible speed... Shisui would be ideal for scouting. Which means he would be the one getting intelligence that informs the GARs missions. And he can pick up on the bullshit faulty info that's doctored to kill the clones/Jedi and extend the war and be like... hold the phone lads this is a conspiracy :3

I just want a scene where the kids are like 14/15/16 (respectively) and coming back from rebellious teen speeder racing and Anakin is like "obi wan is gonna ground me again for being out past bedtime 😒" and shisui is like "sucks to be you bro inoichi actively bets on me winning✨" and Aayla is like "you also have a bedtime 🙄" to which Shisui is like "...😬 ok point" and really Aayla is the only one unphased because Quinlan is like OMG MY LIL PADAWAN WAS OUT LIVING WILD 🥹 IM SO PROUD

Also I reaaaaaaaaaaally want Shisui to do the force equivalent of a Shunshin in a battlefield (maybe he's hunting Ventress?) And just... BAMF wows everyone and it's so beautiful and then he's like ✨☺️✨ the SUN with his CURLS and his DIMPLES and 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌 and suddenly Anakin (who's been getting more sullen) starts to brighten up again, like the clouds receding, and Obi-wan is also relaxing a little because these days seeing Shisui means it won't be long until- and there, that's when Inoichi arrives (at a much more reasonable pace) with their Intell Corps and the 501st and 212th are introduced to the wonder of Jedi therapy (also those two would 100% be the ones who find the chips)

ANYWAY

I hope you enjoy MY infodump lmaoooo I got carried away but oh well~

That's quite alright, I like when people use my askbox and it was a surprise but a positive one, I hadn't expected a SW ask and especially not one about Qui-gon haha... I'm not phased by 'unpopular' opinions, I'm sure I've more than a few that my followers don't care for! 😉 for what it's worth, I hope you're reassured if you decide to send me any more asks :)

Anyway, I've rambled a lot here but thanks for reaching out again, it was super interesting~ have a nice day/night, Anon ✨

[thefallenangelsgang]

FUCK I'VE NEVER WISHED I DIDN'T WRITE IN FIRST PERSON MORE

So I've been writing a scene (half completed version here) for a few days now that takes place during the Tiefling Refugee party. It's a conversation about sex, full stop.

The idea came to me because when I played the first time all of the girls wanted my Tav carnally at the party and were not being shy about it (Shadowheart was being coy but the message was there, my autistic ass just missed it until I talked to Karlach and she got lightheartedly jealous I was getting tail and she could not. I've never reloaded a save faster, babygirl I thought we were just gonna drink wine and gossip) and I got rightfully freaked because I am not used to attention in that capacity and not interested in it. (I can't imagine a more hellish reality tbh than being in the middle of a very large dispute that could become a war at any moment and people being like "wanna fuck?")

I had already spurned our dear vampire's advances much earlier in the run so turning away from Lae'zel's horrific attempts at flirting and seeing someone right there that I had already said no to, I was really hoping he would finally be a conversation that didn't include sex (looking at you girls) or completely justified moping (Wyll and Gale my beloveds).

I was right. And I just had this moment where I was like, oh my god, he's the only motherfucker in this place who I can laugh about this with. It was the moment I finally realized I liked Astarion as a character.

So this scene was born and at some point it became less Wynleth bemoaning drowning in hoes and more a exploration of Astarion and her friendship (which not even I expected to happen. I thought they were going to tolerate each other at best because they are such polar opposites) and sexuality (because Wynleth is very much an extension of my interest in politics and thoughts about love and sex, she has been since I made her in 2018)

And in the text Wynleth just monologued a bit trying to explain herself because Astarion is a hypersexual being (because of his trauma or otherwise) and Karlach (who wandered into this scene) can't have intimate contact despite wanting it so badly and I can hear Astarion's cogs turning in his head, trying to stomach that people can just flat out not want sexual contact and be fine about it. He's spent centuries dealing with sexual contact he does not want to the point where now that he has slipped his chains, he doesn't really know what sex is to him anymore. It's certainly a tool, but does he truly want it or is he just doing it because it's all he knows how to do.

look me in the eyes and tell me that man isn't battling demons during this conversation.

I want so badly to write out his thoughts but at this point in the story he's not comfortable enough to probably even confront it let alone speak it out loud which is the only way Wynleth would be able to narrate it. So for now he has to just act weirdly sedate and pensive while still trying to put up his roguish charms (which he is doing, in spades, but not nearly as much as he was in the beginning of the scene)

Fuck I just wish I actually wrote 3rd person because his thoughts would paint such a beautiful dichotomy but that would probably only make this scene longer and this thing is already over 3k words and I'm nowhere near finished.

WHY IS WRITING LIKE THIS?

[perenlop]

6, 7, 13, 16, 25 fooooor Kirby!

6. Which ship fans are the most annoying?

Hard to say presently cause I haven't interacted with the shippy side of the fandom in some time. I guess from experience it's Meta Knight x Garlude shippers but I have not heard a single whisper from them in literal years. Is anyone saying that MK can't be gay cause he interacted with her anymore? I dunno.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

At one point it was Meta Knight, specifically the anime version of him, but I've come back around to him tbh. Maybe it's the bat wings. Dark Meta Knight used to be ruined to me for personal reasons wayyyyy back in the day but that got fixed a while ago. I guess there's Hyness cause there's kind of an attitude I've sensed about him that "oh it's not that deep, he didn't actually hurt the sisters and I'm ignoring it for the sake of making him my silly little guy", but also I already hate him in canon. So idk there either.

13. Worst blorboficiation

Mayyybe Dedede? Not cause I don't like him, I love him and I'm fond of the version I've made of him in my head, but the sheer refusal to ever acknowledge him as a villain ever like... kinda misses the mark for me. The fact that he was a villain at all and you can create a narrative of him becoming better as the games go on is interesting to me! And him sometimes being antagonistic to Kirby cause they're rivals and such is fine. It's fun! It makes the moments where the two act nice and wholesome feel all the more rewarding cause like, Dedede DOES have it out for this pink kid, but at the end of the day the said pink kid holds no grudges, man, and there are bigger things to worry about. So if you sand off that part of him, he becomes less interesting to work with, y'know?

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

"Meta Knight and Dedede are Kirby's loving adoptive dads". I love found family but those two are uncles at best. This is moreso Meta Knight though, ESPECIALLY the anime version. That guy cuts Kirby's car brakes, he is not a sweet dad figure sldkfjssfds.

I've rambled about this before, but one of my biggest fanon nitpicks is when people have an adult male fave and a child protagonist, and they'll nerf the child protagonist in favor of having the adult male fave do everything in the story and be really powerful so they can protect the child figure. And that sounds weird, I know it does, like of course the child protagonist would benefit from a parental figure taking off some of the load sometimes. But it's never quite portrayed like that and it always just reads to me like "WOW look how awesome my fave is!!! They should be the REAL protagonist and the child protag is a side character in their story!" and it's never like, emotional support or anything, it's always "suddenly the protagonist who has defeated literal gods cannot even scratch a basic enemy and needs the adult fave to save them." Like, I remember this fic where Kirby got beat up and nearly killed by a regular dark matter minion so that Meta Knight could save him, and I could not sit with it cause like... a regular dark matter minion? Really??

I don't know, if I had to approach a Metadad concept, I'd do something similar to "Igglybuff the Prodigy" from PMD where Meta Knight does serve as a mentor figure, but really, Kirby ends up being more powerful and smarter than him and outdoes him a lot, but Meta Knight doesn't mind after a while because he benefits from having a grounding positive figure like Kirby in his life. Kirby made him a better person and made him realize that he wasn't done living his life even though he'd done some terrible things. And Kirby admires him cause he's a child and he likes having another person like himself around, even if that person isn't fantastic to begin with. Like, it's a mentor relationship but it's turned on its head.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Anything about the anime being an invalid Kirby property and you suck if you incorporate parts of it into your own personal game canon. I do what I want. Sirica and Magolor are friends.

[satans-codpiece]

I was not expecting EY epilogue to be so short or come out so quickly and neither was I prepared for it. Tbh you should rename it to "How to fuck up an audience in 600 words or less" because HOLY SHIT. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty™ but did you really have to go this hard??? The 2 being all cutesy romantic on a cruise with a burning harbour literally in front of them???? THAT RAM SET ON FIRE????? The tea vendor?????? READER FEELING GUILTY AND RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DESTRUCTION????????

And then you have the nerve to answer that other anon's ask about Ram saying I love you with "haha no he loves you but he has too many issues to admit it out loud" ONLY to then turn out the next day and use it HERE of all places is. God. You bastard-

Oh shit uh.... I kind of realized I don't really have anything laying around in the horny Ram art department (that isn't a total disaster or way, WAYYYY too self-indulgent) sooo.... may I offer you a WIP in these trying times??? Entirely SFW but I feel like it's plenty horny still, just in a different way ;) (Link in another ask again. Btw, you can post the WIP publicly if you feel like the Ramattra nation should see it. I still have no goddamn idea if I should try to revive my abandoned art blog or start a new one or if I should even commit to posting semi-regularly in the first place why are my feelings so fucking complicated on something so basic-)

OH I FEEL YA MAN, same story here, don't care about the game I care about the universe, except I left the franchise entirely ages ago only for Blizz to be like "hey you liked Zen right? Here's his hot angsty younger brother" and I'm like FFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffuck you Blizzard, and fuck me for falling for that eye and brain candy...

Heard about that "sometime in 2024" release date, THAT AIN'T IT MATEY, could be in December for all we know, I NEED it sooner- But hey, I guess Blizz's laziness means the fans can go wild???

And oooooh you say shit like this keeps you active? Guess I gotta bother you some more then :P Also NEEEEEY you an SSS+ tier writer the heckle you talking about-

HAHAH YEAH FKDJSG So my original draft of it was actually even darker, with more of Reader "waking up" on being released from their room, then spiraling and feeling guilty and only being maintained by the feeling that they have to keep Ramattra in check. So, I think this one's a bit kinder in that Reader's still feeling guilty, but it's easier for them to push away the darkness.

fjdhsgks listen! Again! My original epilogue was darker (I think I didn't have him use it, but I also don't think Reader prompted him to say it?) And to be fair it's more that he has too many issues in that moment at the end of Ch5... and he's kind of settling into accept that you do love him and want ("want") to be there with him by the epilogue... so he can choke it out sometimes.

PLEAES STTART AN ART BLOG???? HES SO FUCKING GORGEOUS???

Like, yeah idk, it certainly is... difficult to know how to engage with fandom. More than a few times I've wondered if just being in a small, dedicated discord would be a better choice (but then I'm awful at engaging with people directly, so I tend to lurk in discord servers...)

Hah, see, I completely missed Ramattra's release. I played a little bit at OW2's release, so a bit into season 1, then I just stopped playing. I don't think it was intentional quitting. But I somehow completely missed Ramattra's entire existence until I randomly started playing Overwatch again in March/April (I don't even remember why? I think the Minecraft server I was playing revealed itself to be run by morons and I was looking for a game to spend most of my time and just ended up back with Overwatch).

Only to, bam, load into a game with someone playing him and for me to immediately go "oh my god" (and also he gave me headpats and i...... I wonder if that person has any clue what they've done. but then I think most Ram players who give headpats are also Ram Enjoyers.)

LISTEN.... I DONT EVEN BELIEVE ITLL BE 2024 BC BLIZZARD BUT I HAVE TO PRETEND......

gjkhgsd You know that um. that chart that depicts "art quality vs perceived art quality over time"? to show how artists' perception of their work changes as they develop it? I feel like I'm permanently stuck in a "I'm sure my work is fine given the time I've spent working on it as a craft, but it still doesn't look/behave in the way I want it to." groove for like. at least a year.

The last time I genuinely 100% liked something I wrote was uhhhh probably in Februaryish with an unpublished DBD!Wesker/Reader WIP. (The WIP title is Boon: Wesker's Worms LOL)

[rushipedia]

omg the lonely encounter is soooo goood. i've been craving for more huhu pls can you do a part 2? tysm <33

A Lonely Encounter - Part 2. (1)

A/N: Hi guys. i am back. did you miss me. i missed me. i love u guys i have exactly 222 followers. i have a lot of birthday hcs to write bc i am very late and i want to at least write bday hcs for every character this year :3. just a little productive thing for me to do. ganyu is the first~~ then everyone else who's had a birthday so far this year...if i missed anyone else.

Edit: This is also probably where I'll be ending this little short series thingie since I'm working on a full-fledged impostalbedo x reader comic hehehe the first part is in the works. I was having a horrid time coming up with a plot.

Edit 2: Okay... i may need to turn this into a full-blown series. Also I did the second half of this fc in one go and it only took 4 hours. Why didn't I do this sooner...

Sorry impostalbedo brainrotters. Have this food.

Pairing: Albedo x GN!Reader (Barely there bc tbh I've strayed rlly far from the original prompt), Imposter!Albedo x GN!Reader????

Genre: ??????Idk still man, angst, fluff

Word Count: 3551

Warnings: none!! a little bit of cussing... i dunno man

Taglist: (Dm to be put on!) @cursedgenshin

GENDER-NEUTRAL READER!! ALWASY!! yassss(sorry)

- Requests are kind of open... by kind of I mean it may or may not take me 65 years to get to yours. ehe~

It had been a few weeks since your near-deadly encounter with Albedo's double, and part of you wishes you'd died in that moment.

Cold bit your fingers and your nose as you leaned against a snow-covered rock to take a much-needed breath. The condensation from your heavy breathing was clearly visible from how cold it was. The wind was blowing cold, and the snow was nearly blinding. You'd been on your way back up the mountain from your trip to Monstadt, but an unexpected snowstorm had overtaken you before you'd even realized what was going on.

And now you were slumped against a rock, cradling your shaking hands close to your chest, but it didn't do much against the biting cold.

You knew you had to get up and keep moving, but you suddenly felt so exhausted. You knew what was happening, hypothermia. But still, you couldn't move. Funny how these things worked.

"Albedo..." You mumbled, your eyes opening and closing slowly as you fought to keep yourself awake. "Albedo..."

You weren't sure which you were calling out to. Your perfect 'knight in shining armor', or the one who wasted no time showing you what damage he could so-easily cause to you.

You weren't sure whose arms you felt wrapping underneath your legs and across your back as your consciousness slipped further away, despite your best efforts.

"I thought you were smart enough not to let something like this happen... after all, you figured me out pretty quickly back on the mountain-top, didn't you?" You head a voice say. Albedo's. But based on his words, it wasn't the Knights of Fevonious' beloved Chief Alchemist.

You were in a limbo. You didn't know what to do. This... 'Albedo' had become aggressive at a moment's notice the first time you'd met him. You weren't sure what to think. Had he taken you here to kill you? Dispose of you and anyone else who knew he existed?

You were glad now that you hadn't told the 'real' Albedo that you'd encountered him. You'd kept it to yourself this whole time, watching every shadow, whipping your gaze towards every little noise. To make sure he hadn't come back.

In truth, you weren't afraid of the fact he could hurt you. You were afraid of what would happen if the two of them were to come across each other. Albedo didn't seem to know of the existence of the other version of him, otherwise there would be many more precautions.

He was very protective over his coworkers, especially you, despite you being able to hold your own pretty easily.

You'd been thinking about it for a moment before you realized- you were conscious again, and your eyes snapped open. You were met by a pair of blue eyes and a mop of blond hair.

"'Bedo...?" You slurred, and the eyes moved away. You winced in pain as you sat up from your place against a rock. You were inside of a cave. He could've at least put you somewhere more comfortable, damn.

"So you lived." You hear the voice say again. You're wondering what you should even call him. He's not Albedo.

But he is, though...? Maybe its his twin that Albedo himself doesn't know about. Or maybe he does and just didn't have the hindsight to tell you about it. No, he wouldn't do that. But you can't help but wonder the origins of this man as you watch him tend to a fire, which provided very little warmth to you from so far away.

He turned his head toward you and kind of, beckoned you over with a jerk of his head. You took the invitation immediately, attempting to get up.

"F-Fuck," You shuddered as you shakily stood up, "It's cold." Your body was sore and stiff from being on the ground for as long as you were. Which, you're thinking at this point, you've been out for hours. You took a breath and dragged yourself over to the fire, dropping down onto the ice almost immediately.

You felt his icy eyes on you as you held your hands out to the fire.

"Well, we are surrounded by ice and snow." You heard him mumble. "Though the temperature in this cave is much higher than it is out in the open, I suppose your human body is still easily susceptible to the extreme temperature."

You exhaled. He may not be Albedo, but he's similar to him in the pretentious vocabulary department.

"S-So you're not cold?" You ask, looking over at him. When your eyes meet, he looks away.

"No. I am a synthetic human, as is the one you call 'Chief Alchemist'." He mumbles. God this was creepy, has he been watching you?

"Though I only know this information because I took his place for a short time in Monstadt a couple weeks ago." He continued. Oh. Okay, good.

He stood up suddenly and shed his coat. You'd always assumed that despite Albedo being synthetic, his clothes weren't and were tailored by someone out of fabric, but now you're questioning. These encounters had you questioning everything.

You felt the weight of his coat over your shoulders and would have half the mind to rip it off if you weren't shivering.

"Um... Albedo," You started, your tone quiet, echoing off the icy cave walls around you. "I met you on the mountaintop that day, right?"

His eyes flitted towards you before looking away once again.

"Yes, I apologize for my rash behavior." He said, looking down at the ground from his position sitting on a rock.

“After observing you and my successor for some time, I realized that sort of demeanor was unnecessary.” He mumbled. He was tending to a pot sitting over the fire. You stood up stiffly and walked closer to the fire. There was only one rock.

He glanced at you and then looked away again. He wasn’t nearly as threatening in a situation like this, even if you were the only one freezing your ass off.

“Move over.” You said after approaching him. “Sitting on the ice is cold.”

He looked at you for a few moments before scooting over. You sat down next to him. It was just big enough to fit the both of you if you sat right next to him. His body became rigid, but he didn’t seem entirely uncomfortable.

“What are you making?” You asked. It smelled like it wouldn’t kill you, at least. That is, if he let you have any.

“Food.” He mumbled. You tried not to think about the fact that he probably didn’t know any monetary dishes or their names, even if he was making something similar. You leaned against him slightly.

“You don’t even feel warm.” You mumbled into his shoulder, and he let you. He didn’t say anything, though. Unlike Albedo, he didn’t seem like the type to drone on for no reason. You were kind of glad.

He reaches out to tend to the pot again and once he returned to his position from before, you leaned more of your weight on him. Still, he didn’t budge. At least his jacket was helping a little.

The silence, besides the few animals scittering and the wind blowing, seemed more torturous at that moment than Albedo’s endless talking.

"About the painting..." You said finally, your side pressed fully into his with your arm wrapped around his begrudgingly still one. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but the both of you knew that you had warmed up a long time ago. Less with his help and more with the help of the fire.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and side-eyed you. Your head was on his shoulder now and you were staring at the fire.

"I said earlier that you do not need to bring up our earlier conversations. That interaction is one I'd rather we both forget about." He said, shrugging you off of him and standing up. "It was not the most conveying of my true character."

He took the pot off the fire and set it on the rock next to you. Watching him work on pouring the soup, you realized that, among the domesticity of the scene before you, he was the one that had stolen several appliances from Albedo's camp. You huffed out a small laugh before getting back to the topic at hand.

"You know that's not what I want to talk about. You know..." You mumbled, looking into the bowl of soup he'd handed you. Up close now, it looked less like soup and more like simple Goulash. An old but delicious recipe.

"I'm sure Albedo would really love another person to teach them how to paint in his spare time, anyway." You hummed, content, for now, to use the bowl to keep your hands warm, as the fire wasn't doing that very efficiently. "I can't imagine there's much for him to do up here all alone in his leisure."

Albedo had never talked about it, but you could see that lonely look in your eyes whenever it was time for you to take your leave from Dragonspine.

The both of you had your own lives and responsibilities to attend to, but you would feel a lot better if there was someone just like him (maybe a little bit too much like him) around to keep him company. That is if he could get past the uncanny appearance of his long-lost twin is to himself.

Albedo stands looking into his own dish for a long time. He doesn't really know what to say. The words hang in the air. There was a reason nobody knew of his presence on this mountain until now. He didn't hold himself in a high enough regard to even consider trying to make friends.

"Or... I could teach you. Albedo taught me the basics... we could learn together." He glanced at you once those words left your mouth.

"I'm afraid not. You would grow tired of me rather quickly." He said. He said it so matter of factly that there was no way this could be some ploy for your pity. His tone left no room for an argument, so you just sat there helplessly.

"You can't know that for sure," You sigh, looking back at him and he looks away. Though he's a great deal farther away from you now than he was before. You shovel a couple of bites of food into your mouth before it grew cold

"Ido know, however, that your cooking is much better than Albedo's." You set your bowl down on the rock next to you before standing up. "You wouldn't happen to be partial to eating uh... spiders, would you?"

He makes a face at you and turns away, crossing his arms.

"Of course not. That sounds horrible." He mutters. You let out a laugh before stretching out your limbs, sore from the cold, and walking the few strides separating the two of you over to him.

"What is with you and being near me?" He asked, sounding breathless. You quirk your eyebrows at him before letting out a small laugh once again.

"What's with you and wanting to be lonely all the time?"

His eyes widen slightly at you. It was meant to be a simple joke. You really hoped you hadn't struck a nerve. He reached his arm out to grab you. The action startled you, but there was no malice in his eyes.

"Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely." He said., quietly. His face was close to yours like he was suddenly the one who had no ideas about personal space. You leaned forward the tiniest bit and leaned your forehead against his. For a moment, his expression faltered, but his sharp glare returned shortly.

"Says the one without an inkling of interacting with others. He attacks me on the mountain, but he just wants to learn to paint." You say, the quietness of your tone almost being lost against the billowing winds just outside the cave.

"Though, after knowing your true intentions, it's quite endearing, don't worry." He grits his teeth and pulled away, but it was you who grabbed his arm this time.

"Sorry- I'm sorry. I don't mean to tease you." You say, your voice still steady. You put your hands on both of his upper arms and smiled at him. "I really do think it's sweet that you want to learn. And there are plenty of people who would like to teach you, not just me or Albedo. There are lots of other things that people can teach you, too."

The Albedo that Monstadt had come to know and love was known to be a smooth talker. But here, in a situation like this, you can't help but feel that you've picked up a thing or two from him along the way as the young man's face in front of you flourished into hues of pink and red as he seemingly realized the gravity of this little thing you'd got going on. Surely he knew about romance. You just laughed.

Once his initial embarrassment was over, he didn't attempt to full away, to your amusement.

"So. I suppose you've been around longer than Albedo? What's that like." You ask. He tells you quietly about where he came from, and how he was cast away by his maker simply for not meeting her expectations.

That doesn't sound like his fault at all, but his maker's. Yet he was left to deal with the consequences as he wound himself in the belly of a dragon and then on a snowy, cold, lonely mountaintop. Both are made of chalk, neither more nor lesser than the other. If Albedo was the prince of chalk, he might as well be the prince of this mountain. The ice, the snow, and the deafening silence that came with it.

You couldn't help but sympathize. With the way that you carried yourself, it was hard to keep many people close to you. Albedo was one of very few.

"You know, the people of Monstadt would really love you. They love Albedo and all the other 'outsiders' who come. Whether you stay for just a little while or for a long time, you'll find your place easily." You smile again. His eyes look hopeful, but he tries not to show it on his face.

"Plus, you could find some other things you like, too. Flora could d teach you about flowers, there aren't many of those up here... um... Katheryne could assign you commissions! We could go exploring!" You say. You're getting too excited now, you don't want to scare him away. You decide to tone it down a bit, just until you can get him off this cold-ass mountain, at least...

"Please come with me." You say, your hands sliding from his upper arms to his gloved hands. "I'll take you to meet Albedo, then a special bard that I know. He can see the future, so he'll be able to tell you where you'll be happy... if you really want to be sure you're not wasting your time."

You hold his hands up in front of you, begging him with your eyes.

"You can join my adventuring team, too. We can-" He cut you off with words of his own.

"Unlike you, I'm not on the human life-span time-crunch." He said, no bite to his words. Just the facts. "I'll be the one deciding if the decisions I'm making are a waste of time or not. Plus, I'm rather interested in flowers. As you said, there are very few here."

He watched as your eyes sparkled with joy. Your words of comfort and reassurance had paid off, but he still felt a little bit off-put about suddenly shoving himself into the lives of the people who'd seemed so content with their routine. He wonders if maybe there is a chance they won't accept him. A contrast to the lovely picture of the romantic Monstadt lifestyle you'd painted in his head, but a highly likely one.

He returned your bright smile with a small, wry one. He didn't really want to get his hopes up yet. But now you were blabbing about finishing the food before it gets cold and packing up these things so you can go to see Albedo.

And suddenly he was back on the rock in front of the fire and you were pushing his bowl of food back into his hands. He ate as you said to without protest. you could tell he was rather giddy to get out of here. Humonculus or not, nobody would want to be in here for long all by themselves.

The two of you finished eating and packed up your things before putting out the fire. You had to assure him several times that the cave would remain exactly as he left it as it had been for the last hundred years. You understood the anxieties of home changing when you're away, but he'd find a new home soon, you hoped. A brighter, warmer, livelier one where he wouldn't be alone.

"Albedo!" You called, running up the snowy path. The other trailed behind you. Albedo turned away from his wor and looked to you with happiness in his eyes.

"Oh! Y/N. I was rather worried when you didn't arrive before the blizzard earlier. I'm glad you're okay. I was about to set out to Monstadt to search for you." He says. The bag of supplies he sets down proves that his words are not lies.

"Um. There's someone I'd like for you to meet. He has an interest in painting, just like you." You say. Albedo looks at you inquisitively, his head tilting slightly. He kind of reminded you of a stoic dog at times. Curious, yet uninterested in showing it to anyone more often than not.

"Ah-" Albedo salet out a noise, suddenly. He didn't sound surprised, but rather... happy. "It's you!"

"I was wondering when we'd meet face-to-face. Your sneaking abilities could use some work." He said, giving a close-eyed smile to the young man behind you. He fidgeted nervously, before taking a step forward toward him.

"My name's Albedo. You probably already know that, though. So I hear you like to paint?" You were surprised. You didn't expect Albedo to already know about the mysterious man who had been shadowing you for weeks. Though, you had to agree. Recently, you'd been catching glimpses of him in the corner of your eye. Though scary at first, it seemed silly now and you couldn't help but smile at the endearing scene in front of you.

Albedo hadn't been this freely talkative around anyone but you or Sucrose for some time now. You hoped that they could confide in each other as much as they'd confided in you for the short time you'd known them both.

You tuned out there talking as you thought about earlier's events. The two of you had gotten quite close today, and you hoped this was the start of something interesting. You really wanted to know more about both of them.

"Ah, right-" You say, interrupting their talk with your quiet realization. "Flowers."

You walk over to one of the alchemy tables and rummage through a bag you'd brought here last time.

"Windwheel Asters. Freshly picked for alchemy shenanigans... uh... I guess- a couple of days ago, now." Your voice became nervous as you realized this probably wasn't the greatest example of the beauty of Monstadt's flowers. You walked towards the two of them and presented the slightly wilted flower to him. He smiled slightly and took the flower from you.

"It's quite beautiful. I hope to see more." His smile became slightly larger at the thought.

"There are plenty of species of flowers in Monstadt. Sometimes Flora even has flowers imported from other regions of Teyvat, like Liyue. I'm sure you'll enjoy them." Albedo said, fondly.IT seemed he was just as relieved as you were to have brought the young man out of his shell.

"So- um... what's your name?" You asked. They both looked at you stunned. Albedo's shocked face stemmed from the disbelief that you'd gotten this far with him without asking his name, and the other's was... well... because he didn't have one. There was no one around to call his name, so he'd never really thought about it. His creator hadn't given him one either.

He simply stood there for a moment with his mouth open slightly.

"Well- um. I don't-"

"It's fine," Albedo said, saving the day, as per usual. "You can think about it. Pick one you like."

"Yeah! Maybe you can name yourself after a flower... that would be super cool." You smiled, taking both of their hands in yours.

You explained your plan to Albedo about taking the other to Monstadt and he made a few preparations before the three of you set off down the mountain. The wind blew cold, but you knew that making this trip for the nth time would always be worth it. You hoed that this was the introduction into the world with open arms that he'd been hoping for.

And though he probably wouldn't tell you anytime soon, it was.

rushipedia ☆ 2021

[dourpeep]

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

[animated-moon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY , KAEYA !

contains : fluff , gender neutral reader , you're the traveller (not lumine or aether, if that makes sense) , a microscopic amount of angst , lovesick kaeya , tbh i have 0 idea what i'm writing , not proofread </3

"Kaeya!" You called out, running up to the taller man. The moment he heard your voice, his strides came to a stop and he turned in your direction immediately. His bored expression shifted to a somewhat happy one as you greet him. He hadn't expected to see you in Mondstadt at all, having heard the news that you've just solved Inazuma's national crisis. Furthermore, it was an ungodly hour of the night. The streets were almost empty, and most of the shops were closed, save for Wagner's and a few wandering drunkards.

"My, my. To what do I owe the pleasure, Honorary Knight?" He asked, tone teasing as he bent down slightly to get on eye level with you.

"Happy birthday," you said, panting softly. Surprise flashed in Kaeya's eyes as he hummed softly.

"You remembered?" He asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Of course I did." The way you'd replied so nonchalantly almost made him feel like he deserves to be loved. It almost made him feel like you cared about him more than a friend. It almost even made him feel better for wanting to be selfish, for wanting you to stay with him even if it were just a minute longer. He didn't like it. You both stood in silence for a minute before you chuckled nervously.

"So uh," you started, trying to make conversation with the charming knight. The realization that you were alone with Kaeya suddenly hit you, and you felt unusually shy. "Is your patrol over?" It took everything in him to not burst out laughing.

"Soon, it will. I've got half an hour more to go." He said thoughtfully. "If you do miss me that much, though. You could steal me away for a bit." He teased, smirking when you avoided eye contact with him.

"I'll go on patrol with you. Don't think of slacking off," you huffed, and he gasped softly.

"I'm the slacker?" He asked, placing a hand over his chest, facade falling as you punched him playfully. You both started roaming the streets in comfortable silence, him looking around for hidden dangers the entire time. Your shoulders bumped against his with almost every step, and Kaeya's familiar cologne filled the air around you.

"Like good old times, hm?" He asked, and you stole a glance at him. There was a small smile on his face, and he was looking directly into your eyes.

"Back when everything was simpler," you replied, voice coming out as a broken whisper. "When I didn't have to fight gods and solve national crises."

"Thank you for coming back to see me." He sighed, clearly wanting to shift away from the current topic. Kaeya didn't like seeing you upset. He didn't understand why, but perhaps it was because of the unfamiliar feeling of dread. You hummed and went with the flow.

"Don't thank me, just enjoy the day," you said, an easy smile on your face as you giggled a little. "You'll have me all to yourself today." An involuntary smile made its way onto the Cavalry Captain's face as he laughed softly.

The cold wind caressed your cheek, brushing over the beautiful features Kaeya would spend days and nights thinking of. The moonlight highlighted them in the best way possible, and he was positive you were glowing.

"I wish it could be like this more often." He confessed, tucking his gloved hand into his pockets. He partially thought that you'd take this as another flirty remark when you didn't reply for a short minute.

"Me too," you hummed. The conversation lapsed into silence once again, and you cleared your throat. "Speaking of, what would you like for your birthday?" Kaeya grinned mischievously, leaning in a little.

"May I start it off with a kiss?"

You froze.

"K-Kaeya, um-" Although he looked at you smugly, his heart thumped in his chest. What if you didn't want to? What if he'd just crossed a line? What if he'd been reading all the signs wrong?

Before he could continue assuming the worst, you pecked his cheek softly, lips lingering just a second longer than a friendly kiss would. For the first time, Kaeya was speechless. If he weren't so good at keeping his reactions in check, he would've been on the floor, shouting in joy. Keep yourself in check, Kaeya. If not for the darkness of the night, you would've been able to see a full-blown blush on the face of the charismatic and calm cavalry captain.

"Choose an actual present next time," you say, looking down at the tiled path.

"Don't look up, okay?" Kaeya whispered, and the amount of adoration in his voice almost scared him. If you'd looked up, you would've seen the happiest, most genuine smile he was capable of. He knew that he was a fool, falling for you like this. You were a shooting star, and your time in Teyvat was fleeting. Yet, you've got him vulnerable and raw, drawing out the emotions he thought he'd locked away long ago.

"Kaeya?" You called out, starting to worry as he went completely silent. He smiled again, although you couldn't see it. He really was a fool.

"Thank you, truly."

[clumsyclifford]

1, 5, 7 for hello hello, 19 for cruel summer jalex, & 24 for the fic asks? -megs 💙💙💙

shalom amiga or should i say.......hello hello . that was a missed opportunity on my part tbh and i have to live with that

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you? i try not to write when it feels stressful. there's nothing worse than feeling like you're wringing words out of you like a dirty towel, lmao. most of the time it's cathartic. but also a lot of the time it's neither? like it's just...fun. i enjoy it. it's a thing i do because i like to do it

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter. oooooh ohohohoho well joke's on you chica i haven't worked on anything that hasn't been completed since i got to camp because i don't have the time or energy for incomplete fics baby !!! that's probably a lie. let me go trawl my drive.

omg i forgot i started writing this. im not sure ill ever finish it but here's a snippet i like

The man leans through the passenger side window. His face is concealed by the night, barely aglow from the lights of the dashboard. There's a shadowy scruff of beard around his mouth and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Hi," he says, in a voice that sounds like it's hiding something sweet. "Any chance I can hitch a ride?"

"Are you a murderer?"

"Yeah," says the man. "But obviously not a very good one. I'm still working on the whole secrecy thing."

7: Were there any ideas you had for hello, hello that you couldn’t make work? What were they? mmmmmmmmmmm interesting question. the only one i can think of is i had a halfway intention to make calum be a bartender, but that was less of an intention and more of a retrospective "oh shit, i didn't give calum a job, what's a job that could have weird hours" realization. but then i don't think it wouldve worked because it would have come up in conversation when they decided to go to a bar and theyd probably have gone to whatever bar calum worked at and it wouldnt make sense from a narrative standpoint for them to be at a bar but for the fact that calum is a bartender to not come up even once, so i decided against it. i'll figure it out though maybe he's just a trust fund baby or something who knows

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of fever dream high in the quiet of the night. i'm saying this is 15 concepts not just 15 words because 15 words is impossible okay go:

whispers, neon, leather jackets, red, headlights, hands, blue, bruises, summer, darkness, exciting, cars, kissing, desperate, painful

is this how you describe an aesthetic?? i don't know. side note, if anyone feels like making a cruel summer jalex moodboard i would very much not say no to that

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why? this is a difficult question because i have so many fics it would just be unreasonable to expect to be asked with any frequency about almost any of them. i guess hmm i know it's a more recent one but the jalex breakup fic took a lot of time and effort and i'm very happy with how it turned out but by its nature it's pretty sad and it is also somewhat long so like, i don't expect to be asked about it. also, the fics i get asked about change as time goes on, like i used to get asked a lot more about baby driver and iydk fic and neon weekend and stuff, but i've basically talked myself to death about those so it's definitely for the best that we've all collectively moved on. i realize i haven't really answered your question here but honestly i'm happy with however much these fics get asked about. twist my arm, my answer is jalex breakup fic.

fic ask game!!

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Defending Raoul, the Vicomte de Chagny

Ah oxymorons, one of my favourite literary devices... If you don't know what an oxymoron is, let me enlighten you: it's a phrase that contradicts itself (kinda like verbal irony), like "jumbo shrimp", "chilled hot chocolate," "clearly confused" or "defending Raoul, the Vicomte de Chagny".

Because, you know, Raoul doesn't need much defending. Seriously. If there's going to be any defending going on here, Raoul's the one who does the defending for most of the play (up until Final Lair where the roles are reversed and Christine is now the one who does the defending but more on that later.) Are we clear on that? Good.

And it has come to my attention that Raoul has got a lot of flak from phans for various reasons. And in this post, I'm going to refute the stupidest Raoul bashing arguments.

Also, we're not counting Love Never Dies because I think it's just an alternate universe and that it ruined Raoul's character for the sake of that fanfiction.

It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre. There seem to be two kinds of people in this world: those who appreciate Phantom of the Opera, and those who don't know what they're missing. The ones who appreciate Raoul as the hero, prince charming and cinnamon roll he is, and then there's the other camp. The ones who villainize Raoul and think he is nothing but a stupid, wimpy, abusive fop who crushed the Phantom (aka. Erik's) dreams and never truly loved Christine. They seem to be laboured under the mistaken delusion that Raoul is a cowardly pretty boy who is pretty much Gaston 2.0. (Technically, there's a third group: those who know nothing about Phantom of the Opera (POTO) but we can only hope that they will come out from under their rocks as soon as possible)

In case if you couldn't tell, I'm Team Raoul. And the bashing he recieves is unfair tbh. This is where I will appreciate and explain why I love him.

First of all, I'd like to combat the theory that he is boring. Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and that we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

And just because Raoul has boy-band hair and dresses well, that doesn't make someone a fop. He's a navy man and a nobleman so he is expected to look nice. But Erik is the one who takes it to the extreme. I mean, c'mon, a fedora?

I also noticed that when he asked Christine out for dinner after reuniting with her ruffled the feathers of many phans. What right has Raoul to fall in love with Christine? What does he need from her? He only fell in love with her for her voice and beauty! And he only noticed her when she was in Hannibal! Can't he just go get someone else?

News flash people. It's been YEARS since Raoul last saw Christine. And they were kids when they last saw each other, along with the fact that he travelled in order to train as a navy man! So it's understandable on why he got excited to see Christine again after so long. Plus, his love for her is more than just her voice and beauty. Sure, they have mutual memories and he likes the way she sings, and he likes how beautiful she is. But there's nothing wrong with thinking of how beautiful a girl is AND how beautiful is her voice (within reason).

I admit, Raoul and Christine's relationship at first struck me as being sappy and overdone. You must know that I was only nine or ten when I first discovered POTO, and so excuses must be made. By the time I listened to it again at fourteen, I was completely won over. Raoul fell in love with her because she was a nice, beautiful person (both on the inside and out) and they knew each other since they were kids! His love is genuine AND stable for Christine. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn, someone to show affection to and the woman he has loved since childhood. Plus, he was brave enough to ask Christine to marry him despite their class differences, risking that his family might disown him for being married to someone inferior to his rank. It just shows how strong his love for her is.

And now, let's get this point clear, I believe the claim that he was gaslighting Christine is bogus. He's been raised as someone who doesn't believe in the supernatural and 'phantom' literally means 'ghost'. But here’s the kicker. He doesn’t leave. Like, no matter how much he doubts her love of what she says, he still loves her and stays with her. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him thinking Christine is a little delusional with all the Phantom stuff. None of it added up to him, and it all seemed illogical. Its natural for any human being to not believe those kinds of things, so stop using that to make him look bad. Plus, if he said something like "Oh Christine, you're SO stupid!" and laughed at her about it, phans could definitely have a valid reason to hate him. But he doesn't do that! Instead, he tries to find the Phantom's voice calling out to her and when he saw nothing, he began to comfort her and was like" There, there, shh... Don't worry... Everything's gonna be alright. I'll help you make all the bad things go away." And due to dramatic irony, he has little-to-no evidence to prove the Phantom's existence compared to the audience who saw it all!

If you still aren't convinced, then listen very closely to what I'm about to say: Here's some 'Raoul's I highly recommend to look up before y'all hate on him.

I highly recommend John Cudia, Michael Shawn Lewis, Jordan Donica and Patrick Wilson who play VERY princely and adorable Raouls. Trust me, their Raouls are IMPOSSIBLE to hate!

One last point before I wrap this up: The only reason Raoul asked her to agree to be the lead is because he realized that if Christine does that, the Phantom would be there. And he knows it's their chance to get rid of this elusive Opera Ghost. And the only reason Christine doesn't want to is because she is afraid of what the Phantom will do. Now this annoys many Raoul-haters and call me a broken cassette tape but... Even though I agree it was a teensy bit callous of him to persuade Christine into performing her stalker's opera, Raoul hoped it would catch the Phantom, and he was willing to do it to get protect Christine from the Phantom in the future. Was his plan risky? Probably. Did he honestly think Christine would be in danger? No! He was going to get all the cops to come and protect her. How was he supposed to know the Phantom had other plans? Plus, running away is a big no-no for Raoul. Because as shown in "Why Have You Brought Me Here/Raoul, I've Been There" and "Wandering Child", whenever and wherever they run to, the Phantom ALWAYS finds them! Therefore, to his naive, young mind, he believed that doing Don Juan Triumphant would stop the Phantom from doing more harm to Christine and the opera house. So stop using this to vilify him!

I should like to also take this time, while I still have your attention (you are paying attention, right? Right? Hey! Wake up!) to point out some other important events that showed Raoul's character and bravery; namely, him fighting his way through the French sewer system (aka. The yuckiest parts of France) to save Christine, he didn't keep his hand to the level of his eyes to comfort a terrified Christine, he dodged some fireballs thrown at him in the graveyard just so he could protect Christine AND last but not least, he nearly died for Christine in order to save her from Stockholm syndrome/an abusive relationship!

In short: Raoul de Chagny is a knight in shining armour who loves Christine more than his own life. He stands by her, fights for her, comforts her AND was willing to sacrifice everything for her! And how the audience writes him off as an one-dimensional bad guy who does not love Christine, I will never know why. Are you convinced yet? If not... *hands list of what are the differences between a healthy and unhealty relationship* Yours, I believe.

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [okay so we all know the mood is that he sees whatever she's posted and literally goes there immediately with no thought of who else could also be cos he NEEDS to check that she's alright. The drama of it all] Ava: [but luckily no one is there and she'd be so shocked but also grateful 'cos no one wants to be alone and feeling unwell, esp. not in hospital] James: [when he'd have to say he was her brother so he can take her #awkward] Ava: [lollol finding that more amusing than you would otherwise 'cos concussion breaking your awks] James: [oh she'd be so cute I can't] Ava: [just hugging him so hard] James: [we all need that moment but sadly it cannot last forever because he'd have some driver doing circles endlessly cos there's nowhere to park at hospitals ever] Ava: [seriously, and it's so expensive] James: [when you were so desperate to get in there you didn't think about how long it could have taken like she could've been admitted and that driver is just lowkey out there for the rest of time] Ava: [lmao i wonder how long he'd wait for that bag before getting bored, luckily they'd low-key be ready to get rid 'cos too busy and overcrowded] James: [practically pushing her out the door as soon as they saw someone show up for her so he doesn't even have time to give her a feelsy speech lol] James: [just help her out to the car boy, you've had a lot of practice with drunk girls in heels and it'd be the same vibe] Ava: [just saying thank you over and over] James: [meanwhile he's asking her if she's okay over and over like every step they trying to take here] Ava: ['Oh God, you must think I'm so stupid, I swear, they came out of nowhere'] James: ['We both know you're not stupid, Ava' shout out to that text cleverness 5ever tbh 'I'm just glad you weren't seriously hurt'] Ava: ['How have you been, I've been so worried' shoutout to this concussion giving me shameless freedom lol] James: [when you can only shake your head because 1. you ain't been good 2. you don't wanna tell her any of it and 3. you don't think you deserve her worry/ want her to worry about you] Ava: [sad face] James: [stopping to stroke said face, don't fall over girl, he's got you] Ava: ['James-' and then just looking 'cos what can you say] James: [looking back at her cos likewise but then you gotta drop them eyes cos so sad] Ava: ['you look tired' and making more of an actual effort to get into this car] James: ['I am tired' but helping her in and doing her seatbelt for her because not gonna see her struggle ever, telling the driver her address because there's nowhere else you can take her but home even though you have no idea if as soon as you get there someone is gonna show up for her and you obviously don't want that] Ava: [patting your shoulder like 'you can come sleep' like no no one can babe] James: ['no' but a little smile cos she's cute af 'I'm supposed to keep you awake'] Ava: [when you make a face like 😏] James: ['by which, of course, I mean, you've got a 8 hour date with Edward Cullen ahead of you'] Ava: [grinning like a fool but then being like, wait 'you'll stay though, can you?'] James: ['I'm not going to leave you alone' oh the heavy unspoken implication that she might not be if the friends or fam descend 💔] Ava: [resting your head on him as a silent thank you but then lifting it like 'so awake, promise'[ James: [stroking her hair and keeping an eye like] Ava: [being like let me tell YOU a story and honestly God knows but it'd be cute and she'd be trying to match his storyteller energy] James: [when that's lowkey the moment he falls in love with her bye] Ava: [asking the driver to play the new moon soundtrack] James: [loling and honestly when was the last time he did that, we all know it was when they were together] Ava: [live the emo life and love it babes] James: [he's GOTTA dance in his seat to keep her awake, no other reason #notanerd lol] Ava: [just clapping and cheering him on like nothing to see here driver God bless] James: [so not what that man was expecting to 👀 or 👂] Ava: [freaking out drivers is low-key a fave] James: [the one time you're happy about London traffic tbh] Ava: [even though we ain't gonna interrupt, you don't know that boy] James: [speaking of, probably send a text or something to check on the kids because you just ran like assumedly they at their grandparents but] Ava: [never leaving 'em with Chlo we all know] James: [lord her and Jay would kill each other] Ava: [I'd genuinely be worried for her safety so don't blame you remotely boy, least her parents are invested] James: [literally though & you can have those grandparents forever babs we ain't taking them away from you] Ava: [awkward that your mum never shows but that's just that on that] James: [lbr that's for the best stick with your dads kiddos] Ava: [we all know it, even if Matty might not end up remembering much] James: [Ava lowkey her mum now oops] Ava: [and Jay's actual auntie...lol what a tangled web we weave boo] James: [at least they can all stay connected] Ava: [true facts] James: [makes my heart happy even if it's weird] Ava: [lean in to how weird this family is James] James: [they weird af but they're better than the one he's got #noshadetoTeddythough] Ava: [all the shade to you Chlo, sort it out] James: [her poor future children & husband] Ava: [honestly, good luck] James: [he'd have to be about everything she is or else what the fuck] James: [anyway we've been sidetracked get to Baze's house you two] Ava: [movie marathon awaits, what else do we vibe or shall we just try and see what comes out, like] James: [let's just run with it and see what happens because we extra and anything could be said and done tbh] James: [imagine how awkward it'd be when they get there because he'd have to send her in first and just be shitting himself in the car like is anyone there or no] Ava: [at least you know full well no one is there 'cos business trips forever so you're just at the door shaking your head and doing the 'come on' gesture] James: [he'd just help her to the sofa like immediately & get her blankets and pillows and painkillers (even though it wouldn't touch a concussion headache) and a phone charger and everything else she could possibly need cos Chloe's got him trained like a dog] Ava: [low-key pulling at him, gently, like boy sit down] James: [when you are then looking at her like what did I forget/ do wrong before you realise] Ava: [squeezing his hand because you can only say thank you so many times, putting the film on but then pausing and gasping so dramatically 'coffee, I promised you coffee' and going to get up like can you be careful please] James: [thinking she's in pain or something because of that gasp so being at her side like 0-1000 and slowing her down cos they can do it together thank you] Ava: [making a face at herself like ffs when she catches on 'I'm not trying to age you' and touching his non-grey hair and wrinkles like totally necessary yep] James: ['but you're offering me coffee, what's next red meat or red wine?' but no actual shade cos we both know he doesn't care and none of that is what's aging him anyway, taking her hand from his face and gently kissing said hand before handholding to lead her to her own kitchen like let's do this] Ava: ['I don't know where my cigarettes are' shrugs and smiles like sorry not sorry, smiles even harder but lowkey stops breathing when, kissing ontop of where he just kissed her hand, then getting to this all-singing all-dancing coffee machine 'you have to pick the most daring option, one you've never, ever tried before, okay?' and waggling her finger like so serious about this] James: [takes his own cigarettes out of his pocket and slides the pack over to her 'okay' and does pick, really concentrating on the decision even though there'd be so much shit he hasn't tried and we all know he could just pick option 1 and be done] Ava: [takes one out and puts it behind her ear for later 'cos no need to light up in your parents home, just watching him 'cos so cute and then nodding like yes, good choice and picks the same, setting up this machine 'cos they're always more confusing and/or time-consuming than they need to be I swear] James: [where's the lie you gotta have the knack I swear, his turn to watch her now though because she's beautiful doing anything ever and he missed her so bad] Ava: [ahh coffee goodtimes forever] James: [he needs it cos he is tired af so thanks Ava you babe] Ava: ['do we talk about what happened, or do we write it off?' when you just saying this casually whilst waiting for your coffees] James: ['I don't know' because he is genuinely torn between wanting to and also not] Ava: ['Wait and see how we feel' 'cos no rush or pressure here 'you better carry these though' 'cos we don't need burns as well ty] James: ['wait here a minute for me' because carries the drinks through and then comes back for her because why not carry her though as well obvs] Ava: [does and loves it 'I've missed you, you know'] James: ['I know now' just giving her 😍 casually 'I've missed you too'] Ava: [😍 right back 'Ask anyone' when you're talking about your mood but you realize that sounds like you been telling the world lol 'I mean, I've been a delight' 🙄] James: [when you shake your head like no it's okay 'I overreacted about your cousin, I'm sorry' takes a deep breath remembering that whole sad ending moment 'And I'm sorry for fucking up the start of your summer' because she loves it and he knows] Ava: ['I understand why, understood, whatever. And I am still sorry, I was just too excited and-' sighs like, you know, squeezing his hand again 'I promise, that's all sorted now though' 'cos clearly told her it's over by now, 'cos thought it was anyway; she nods like thanks but shrugs like it's okay too, don't worry 'Sure even I can't be grumpy in the Seychelles, like'] James: [blatantly almost kissing her because he understands the whole being too highkey thing because he was (*cough* is) too but doesn't because she's going away 'when are you going?'] Ava: [sad face like you didn't just say you aren't gonna be grumpy 'when my parents get back, couple of days'] James: [strokes her face again like he did earlier 'you'll feel better by then' because someone's meant to watch you for 48 hours actually NHS website says] Ava: [😈 me 😇 her looking at him 'how did you even- why- I-' continuously cutting herself off 'cos you know he was checking in on you now and you know he came without hesitating so it doesn't need to be said 'Oh, James'] James: ['Ava' saying her name with SO MUCH feeling that I cannot 'I had to' when you mean so many things by that like you had to go but you have to stay now and you had to make sure she was okay today but also you had to keep checking on her the whole time] Ava: [definitely gonna go in to kiss him can't stop that soz] James: [we all know it was only a matter of time and that this is gonna turn into a not at all casual make out session] Ava: [you honestly deserve it lads] James: [that coffee gonna be cold and they won't even notice] Ava: [the movies are also not being watched lmao but no one cares rn] James: [on pause forever sorry not sorry] James: [but eventually like after AN AGE one of them should lean on the remote or whatever so it starts playing and they're like wtf] Ava: [when you shit yourself like who is here but then loving 'cos hi Edward] James: [we all shitting ourselves and all loling] Ava: ['he's very possessive' no lie] James: [looking at Edward and then kissing her again like when you're trying to make someone jealous] Ava: [when you're loling too hard into his mouth like 'scuse me] James: [kissing her neck instead so she can have her adorable lol] Ava: [reacting to that in a v different way] James: [we back at it again at krispy kreme soz twilight saga] Ava: [i swear to god the ily curse is so real] James: [this always happens to us, don't talk for a bit lads, wink wonk] Ava: [its because we give them such high-pressure situations but yes, you should fully hook up 'cos haven't yet] James: [I wonder if the orgasm headache thing would work for a concussion one or not] Ava: [my boo says #experiment] James: [imma google it but I don't expect an answer] James: [nobody is telling me but if it can help a migraine I don't see why it wouldn't] Ava: [you'll be fine bitch, just a shameless excuse that he needs to hang around longer] James: [we should totally also do the shameless thing when he falls asleep and then wakes up immediately but is like oh no how long was I asleep because not only worried about her we know] Ava: [for sure, just there chilling like 🥰 'not long, but you looked peaceful'] James: ['I was' and more 😍 'I am' just snuggling happily because deserved af] Ava: [kissing the top of his head 'good' then lying down and snuggling harder 'I'm so glad you're here, that you're okay'] James: ['I'm glad that I'm here & that you're okay' kissing her forehead and holding her so tightly because he was so worried that something much worse had happened to her] Ava: ['It was kinda scary how much I missed you- like I said I WAS extra but I think, no, I still am, I can't lie to you'[ James: [when you are just falling so hard for her rn smiling like look at this perfect 😇 'you don't have to miss me any longer, minus however long you're spending in the Seychelles, of course'] Ava: ['Yeah?' trying but failing not to sound so hopeful 'And two weeks, so not as long as it has been, not that I was definitely counting or anything'] James: ['I was afraid, no, I am afraid but very few things have ever scared me as much as when I saw you were in hospital & I thought-'] Ava: [just holding him back even tighter like you could not be closer 'I'm so sorry I scared you, I won't ever do it again, even if I get hit by something more substantial than a 90lbs mum on a lightweight bike' and shaking her head with a lil lol 'cos it is funny even though it can be as bad as a car crash actual sometimes] James: ['You scare me in the best ways, you don't have to stop, I don't want you to' because think of the new things he's already done and the new things he's already felt, it makes me emosh goodbye] Ava: [when that's the hottest thing you've ever heard like 'scuse me round two] James: [you've actually got all night for once so make the most of it lads] Ava: [like literally no one needs it more than him so I'm allowing it, there's enough shit happened, happening and still to come] James: [amen to that] Ava: [happy bubble forever] James: [if only like, he is NOT gonna wanna leave in the morning but maybe we could say that like Jay has a playdate with friends or something cos soz babe you can't keep a secret so he just gets the baby and comes back] Ava: [that would be a moment] James: [just casually meet each other how cute] Ava: [have a normal, happy day like you're meant to oh] James: [you all deserve it truly] Ava: [meet your potential future stepchild babe] James: [do we wanna have them go out or stay in?] Ava: [🤔 obvs really want them to go to Kensington Park 'cos Peter Pan and like obvs I doubt anyone who would be bothered to report to Chloe is gonna be there but it is risky so maybe save it idk] James: [we will bookmark that for the future because MUST but they could take Frank on a walk somewhere cos we ain't referenced that sweet sir even if it's just through the streets like] Ava: [that's a good shout, you better be a good boy lol] James: [and don't cockblock them rn please] James: [they'd look like a little fam, I am FINE] Ava: [and lowkey behave more like one in one day like the bar is so low tah Chlo] James: [the scolding tea] James: how are you feeling? Ava: 😊 So happy Ava: Only a bit tired from the whole staying awake thing and you keeping me awake, like 😏 Ava: oh, and Frank said you've redeemed yourself so well done there too Ava: how're you and the girls? James: I'm happy to hear all of that James: has your dizziness gone? James: we're fine, but tired too Ava: Yeah Ava: barely a headache Ava: and my parents get in early AM so I should be all set to go when they do get here James: how much packing is there left to do? Ava: All of it but deciding which 14 bikinis I wanna take shouldn't take too long James: are you sure? I think it would take me a really long time to decide Ava: I'll put some stories up Ava: You can help me Ava: I reckon I need your clearly more considered opinion James: of course you do James: you wouldn't want to spend the entirety of your holiday wishing you'd chosen differently Ava: so true Ava: especially as I'm not allowed to pack my pout James: everyone is well aware of how important the pursuit of a tan is to you, darling, anything that jeopardises that, well, it's bound to be very pout inducing James: you'll be forgiven Ava: I don't know if my family is as forgiving as you Ava: perhaps they don't like my pout as much Ava: they definitely aren't as supportive in bikini related decision making James: I'll dedicate paragraphs to both James: multiple lengthy ones Ava: It'll seem gratuitous in the movie but nothing is too much for the book James: as long as it remains included in the director's cut James: or else I will be devastated Ava: I'll demand it in my contract Ava: I think it'll be a first in favour of taking your clothes off instead of keeping 'em on James: thank you James: you do deserve a multitude of firsts, honestly Ava: you deserve so much Ava: much more than I'm allowed to give you Ava: that reminds me Ava: as I can't give you anything as a thank you, I've had to get creative James: so much of what I deserve is negative & there is nothing you owe to me in any capacity, thanks included James: but I'd never want to discourage creativity Ava: Shh sh Ava: in the spirit of firsts and trying new things Ava: when you're all less worn out, go to [a sassy but kid-friendly cafe/restaurant that's a bit out there and exotic and definitely nowhere Chloe has ever made you take her] and tell 'em you're eating on me, yeah Ava: then when I get back and you're free, you're coming over and I'm cooking James: Ava Ava: It's already arranged, I go there all the time, it's the 2nd best Brazilian food I've had James: you've been to Brazil for the 1st, haven't you? I can tell Ava: Actually no, mores the pity Ava: but my Uncle is Brazilian and a chef, my cousin too Ava: having a big weird family has unexpected perks Ava: if you like it, I already have a recipe lined up that's meant to be 🔥 but even a novice like me can master it James: you'll have to wait patiently for my review because I regrettably can't send you a picture of my face after the 1st mouthful to serve as one, but okay Ava: I'll do my best Ava: though having any patience when it comes to you doesn't seem to be my strong suit Ava: arguably not a virtue I'm known for, ever, but especially now James: I'll do my best not to miss you so hard that it's physically painful but that doesn't appear to be my strong suit either & as previously agreed, I won't make any promises I'm forced to immediately break Ava: Oh Ava: Knowing it wasn't just me finding out that painful cliche is painfully real is somehow a comfort, to know you'll want to avoid the feeling as much as I do from now on but it also hurts me even more, the idea of you having to feel it at all in the first place Ava: but there is no conflict in just how hard I'm looking forward to seeing you again after this ill-timed holiday James: I don't ever want you to be in pain because of me, I have to insist on only the good cliches going forward James: devastatingly a postcard can't be included in that Ava: Hmm, got any long-lost great aunties I can pretend to be? 🤔😂 James: If I do my wife is bound to be aware of them, their current financial situation & any possible health concerns they are facing Ava: Valid Ava: Don't need to give her any more reason to 💀💀💀 me Ava: At least no holiday is complete without the obligatory narcissistic poolside shoot James: suffice to say I've never had a complete holiday, in that case Ava: I bet you've had to be cameraman plenty though Ava: so rude when you're so nice to look at James: & yet I've never been trusted to pick a filter Ava: 🙄 Ava: does she not know that you're an artiste James: no, it's our secret Ava: 😊 I like that James: I like you Ava: I like that more James: I wish I could see you again before you go Ava: Me too Ava: I kinda wish I weren't going James: how early are your parents getting back exactly? Ava: like 4am kinda early James: I won't make you stay awake again James: I know how tired you must be Ava: 🥺 James: I'm so relieved that I can't see that look on your actual face Ava: It's 💔 Ava: but I'll survive Ava: about James: you're a very strong person Ava: You James: I'm not Ava: You are though Ava: you put up with so much shit James: is that strength or is it weakness? Ava: I think it's strength Ava: You can't necessarily stop shit happening or get shit out of your life Ava: no matter how strong Ava: and you manage to do all the shit you have to regardless James: I'd like to think you're right Ava: Then you should Ava: I encourage it Ava: 🤓 me James: you are undeniably clever Ava: Try to be Ava: when I'm not standing in the middle of cycle paths, obviously James: I heard you say that bike came out of nowhere Ava: Yeah Ava: I miss you already Ava: Frank is not as good a nurse, like at all James: if you can fall asleep now, I'd feel less guilty about the prospect of asking you not to later James: should I hypothetically be able to get away Ava: 🛌🏃 Ava: Promise James: I can't give you a promise back Ava: I know Ava: but this way, I either stay asleep and that's that Ava: or I get the best surprise to wake me up James: what did I do to deserve you? Ava: This is the part where I say something very bad but Ava: you don't seem capable Ava: you're just James: whatever it was, I need to know so I can keep doing it Ava: just be you Ava: another cliche you've proven to be true and real James: this fortnight without you is going to be really cliche James: there's no chance of it existing beyond the 1st draft Ava: not even for my eyes only? James: well James: maybe Ava: Please please please James: okay James: you are my fairest critic & you do have beautiful eyes Ava: Yours are better Ava: but I won't be too jealous if I get to look at them more James: I definitely can't promise not to be envious of everyone in the Seychelles who will get to look at you more than I can Ava: Do you ever get a decent lunchbreak? Ava: we could facetime James: I'll figure something out James: because my dad takes the longest lunch breaks, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's the 80s Ava: 😏 we love a throwback 🙄 James: I'll take Matty to work with me, she'll distract whoever I need her to Ava: She is very cute Ava: I see it James: I won't be saying anything the like of that if she won't sleep tonight though Ava: 🤞 for you and her Ava: shame she's not yet at the walking stage Ava: Frank is so 💤 James: I can't keep her in any kind of routine, it's frustrating for both of us Ava: That's hard James: it's harder for her than it is for me, she never knows what's happening Ava: She'll get there Ava: I was the worst baby Ava: hopefully before you totally lose your mind, 'course James: I find it impossible to believe you weren't 😇 Ava: I was pretty premmie so my poor parents were confined to perpetual bright light for ages when I got home James: both the girls were so late James: that was an entirely different struggle Ava: I can imagine how delightful Ava: usually excusable but when you set the bar low to begin with 😬 James: the last thing I want to do is badmouth her to you, but as we know, sometimes things write themselves Ava: I feel you Ava: not a cliche I particularly wanna be either James: of course not Ava: but you can vent, you know Ava: I don't even have to reply, just if you need to put it somewhere James: no, I can't Ava: okay, just a suggestion James: so much of this is already not fair to you, Ava Ava: I don't think it is Ava: you've never lied about any of it, you're always realistic about what you can and can't give me Ava: and I'd like to help, in any tiny way I'm able James: you don't know what she's like & I'd rather you didn't have to know James: let's keep it at you don't do sympathy Ava: I know very little but that's not positive so it doesn't take your author level of imagination if I wanna go there without your guidance Ava: and it isn't sympathy but okay Ava: I won't mention her and you don't have to either James: I just can't have you seeing me differently because Ava: I'd never see you differently because of what she's like as a person James: it's too big of a risk for me to take, that you'll end up thinking less of me than you do now Ava: You can trust me Ava: but you don't have to Ava: I won't push anything, I don't need to Ava: as much as I want to take things fast in so many respects, I'm never going to take it where you don't want it James: it isn't you I don't trust James: I'm not a reliable narrator, she's made sure I'm not Ava: However...intertwined and diluted you feel your story got, because of her, because of whatever Ava: it's always gonna be your story to tell, if you want it Ava: and I'll always listen to how you tell it James: Ava Ava: James James: if it was a story I was in control of I'd come to the airport & tell you not to go James: cliche or not Ava: and I'd stay Ava: but that's far too much like a happy ending and we've only just begun James: you're right again Ava: don't sound so surprised 😉 James: I was actually trying to decide where it falls on the scale of ideas & habits, good, bad or somewhere in between James: that you always seem to be Ava: Have you drawn a conclusion yet? James: I couldn't possibly tell you James: you're supposed to be asleep Ava: damn Ava: you'll tell me in the morning? James: yes Ava: Okay, I'll go, as long as you know it is so reluctantly it's practically under protest James: & I won't stay here hoping you don't, as long as you know it's under identical conditions Ava: Noted Ava: Goodnight and sweet dreams for whenever that happens for you then, love James: thank you