#mapping and navigation services
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Explore GIS in Navigation Industry | AABSYS
Discover cutting-edge GIS solutions for the navigation sector at AABSyS. Expert geospatial technology can help you optimize your navigation systems.
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because i'm curious: what's one of your favorite niche achievements?
#mine is successfully navigating through naples without any digital mapping service#mom didn't believe i could do it and i did
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insane how ppl casually bring up their families or significant others or whatever tracking their location via life360 or whatever else like its just normal and then if I'm weirded out by how creepy that is on multiple levels im the insane luddite or whatever
#toy txt post#baffling!!!!! bro i dont even like that google has my location but i need the GPS to navigate what do you MEAN youre signing up for these#random apps that track your location at all times bc your mom cant handle trusting you to text her#my mom tries to share her location w me via google maps and tries to get me to do the same and i have to draw a hard line like no!#i will just text you! it is fine! jesus christ! you people used to fly across the country with no cell phone#even if you trust your parents or partner with your location info: you shouldnt be trusting these data harvesting ass companies???#thats fucking creepy. why the fuck would they do this if they are not reaping some benefit from knowing your location. no. its fucking#creepy even if your loved ones intents are not creepy. their anxieties are subjecting you to the creepy intents of the location tracking#services. your complacency with the insistence of the practice is contributing to its normalization. resist a tiny bit please.#fuck man the actual luddites are looking at the concessions ive made in this regard and hissing and ducking into the shadows about it.#anyway. sorry. listened to a couple eps of better offline so all my Anger About Tech Shit is surfaced#i maintain a good phone has never been made. but it exists in my brain and is paywalled by me being stupid#bur when i unlock the tiny hardware guy's constitution for diy consumer electronics. we're golden man. itll have an AUX port and SO much#storage space and nice camera and an easily replaceable battery
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i exposure therapied myself and left the house today when i didn’t technically have to, it was horrible but also kind of fun ? gonna take several hours to calm down but at least i got all my xmas shopping done and bought myself a couple new pens :)
#navigating public transit in a city that doesn’t give a shit about public transit…….ugh#like i kept walking to different bus stops only to find that the stop was out of service#got on the wrong bus because google maps lied to me#driver treated me like a complete idiot who was making his day harder#had to wait another 20 minutes for a whole different bus after i got off that one#i’m tired !!!!! basically#but it’s a big deal that i ran errands and navigated and didn’t freak out#so that’s a W in the books for me !!!#annabelle talks
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GPS Update Services In US
GPS updates are essential for accurate navigation GPS services providers like TomTom, Garmin, and HERE offer subscription-based services, delivering quarterly GPS map update to enhance routing precision. Learn how to update GPS.
GPS update
#GPS update#GPS map update#GPS update services#how to update GPS#Latest GPS maps update services#gps update services in US#how to update GPS devices#Garmin map update#Latest GPS Maps update services#how to renew gps tracker#how to update garmin gps device#how to update tomtom navigation device#how do I udapte my garmin gps device#how can i update my gps for free#can i update my garmin gps for free#how to update gps in mobile#Navigation#garmin gps update maps free#GPS Update#Travel Tools#Accurate Maps#garmin how to update#garmin gps update#upgrade garmin gps#how to update garmin gps
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Discover the Best House Cleaning Robot: A Look at Dreame!
If you're looking for an efficient and reliable way to keep your home spotless, look no further than Dreame's innovative cleaning solutions. Known for their cutting-edge technology and user-friendly designs, Dreame has established itself as a leader in the smart home industry.
One of the standout products is the Dreame D9, which combines powerful suction with advanced navigation systems to ensure every corner of your home is thoroughly cleaned. With its smart mapping feature, it can efficiently plan its cleaning route, saving you time and effort.
The best house cleaning robot should not only perform well but also offer convenience. Dreame's robots are equipped with app connectivity, allowing you to control your cleaning sessions from anywhere. Imagine coming home to a clean house without lifting a finger!
In addition, Dreame prioritizes customer satisfaction, providing exceptional support and warranty services. This commitment to quality and service makes them a fantastic choice for anyone looking to enhance their home cleaning experience.
Elevate your cleaning routine with Dreame and enjoy a cleaner, more comfortable living space!
#Dreame D9#advanced navigation#Dreame#customer satisfaction#warranty services#powerful suction#home cleaning experience#smart mapping
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Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market - Forecast(2024 - 2030)
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Overview:
The global Indoor Positioning and Navigation market was valued at $6.92 billion in 2017 and is projected to grow to $23.6 billion in 2023 at a CAGR of 27.9%. Developed countries in North America and Europe remain the largest market for Indoor Positioning and Navigation Systems sales which accounts for a major share in the global market. The USA is a major market in for Indoor Positioning and Navigation in Americas accounting around 40% share in the global market. The market in the USA was valued at $2.78 billion in 2017 and is anticipated to grow to $9.58 billion in 2023 at a CAGR of 28.1%. In the Asia Pacific, China and Japan are the major contributors in this market. The market in the Asia Pacific is rapidly growing owing to the increased penetration and growing applications of indoor positioning and navigation in aviation, healthcare, logistics etc., at a CAGR of 31.8% and it is expected to reach $7.52 billion by 2023. The European market is expected to reach $8.75 billion in 2023 growing at a CAGR of 25.6%. The growing applications of indoor positioning and navigation systems and consumer demands are driving the market in Europe. UK holds the largest share in the European market for indoor positioning and navigation which accounts around 25% share in its market and Germany comes next to the UK with a share around 21% in the European Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market.
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Outlook:
Indoor positioning and navigation systems are based on technologies like Magnetic Positioning, Simultaneous Localization and Mapping (SLAM), Global Navigation Satellite System (GNSS), Global Positioning System (GPS), Global Navigation Satellite Systems (GLONASS), Galileo, A-GPS, Cellular Sensors (Gyroscope, Acceleration, Barometer, Antenna and Near Field Communication (NFC)), Wi-Fi, Ultra-Wide Band (UWB), Radio-frequency identification (RFID) and Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE) Beacons. The major applications of these technologies include positioning & navigation (contextual information, modelling, surveying and mapping of infrastructures), location-based promotion, asset tracking (personnel and object tracking in an infrastructure escalating real-time monitoring and management) and emergency services (navigation to locate people in case of emergencies during disaster management or law enforcement situations).
In the verticals of this Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market, aviation industry uses these technologies for passenger navigation to designated lounges, baggage tracking, emergency and other airport-related services. Advertising industry includes geo-fencing, location-based promotions and other applications related to E-commerce and digital retail. Healthcare uses RFID, Wi-Fi in hospitals to navigate patients to desired wards. Logistics uses these technologies for automating inventory control and asset tracking in warehouses. The transportation industry has many applications of these technologies in railway stations navigating to ticket counters, inquiry counters, lounges, ATMs etc. Tourism Industry uses these technologies in Hotels for navigating tourists to rooms, lounges, receptions, parking lots and many other places. The automotive industry uses these technologies for vehicle identification and tracking, quality control in production or asset management.
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market report comprises of pricing analysis for different types of Indoor Positioning and Navigation. The average pricing of indoor positioning and navigation tags which use RFID technology is estimated at $3 and that of tags using Wi-Fi technology is $40. Pricing of indoor positioning and navigation systems also depends on the range covered. For covering an area of 50,000 sqft is estimated to be costing around $5300 and that of covering 100,000 sqft is $10,200.
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Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Growth Drivers: One of the main drivers in the global Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market is the growing adaption of these technologies many industries like healthcare, logistics etc. There is a high return on investment using these technologies as using these indoor positioning and navigation technologies will result in low operational costs thereby maximizing efficiency and profit.
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Challenges: One of the major challenges in the global Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market is security and privacy concerns of using these technologies. The major privacy concern is the collection and sharing of data with third party companies.
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Research Scope:
The base year of the study is 2017, with forecast done up to 2023. The study presents a thorough analysis of the competitive landscape, taking into account the market shares of the leading companies. It also provides information on unit shipments. These provide the key market participants with the necessary business intelligence and help them understand the future of the Indoor Positioning and Navigation market. The assessment includes the forecast, an overview of the competitive structure, the market shares of the competitors, as well as the market trends, market demands, market drivers, market challenges, and product analysis. The market drivers and restraints have been assessed to fathom their impact over the forecast period. This report further identifies the key opportunities for growth while also detailing the key challenges and possible threats. The key areas of focus include the types of Indoor Positioning and Navigation market and their specific applications in different types of vehicles.
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Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Report: Industry Coverage
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Technologies: Magnetic Positioning, Simultaneous Localization and Mapping (SLAM), Global Navigation Satellite System (GNSS), Global Positioning System (GPS), Global Navigation Satellite Systems (GLONASS), Galileo, A-GPS, Cellular Sensors (Gyroscope, Acceleration, Barometer, Antenna and Near Field Communication (NFC)), Wi-Fi, Ultra-Wide Band (UWB), Radio-frequency identification (RFID) and Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE) Beacons.
Applications of Indoor Positioning and Navigation Technologies: Navigation & Positioning, Location Based Promotion, Geo-Fencing, Asset Tracking, Emergency Services and Others
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Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Platforms: Android, iOS and others.
Verticals in Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market: Aviation, Healthcare, Education, Transportation, Logistics, Automotive, Advertising, Tourism and others.
Indoor Positioning and Navigation market report also analyzes the major geographic regions for the market as well as the major countries for the market in these regions. The regions and countries covered in the study include:
North America: The U.S., Canada, Mexico
South America: Brazil, Venezuela, Argentina, Ecuador, Peru, Colombia, Costa Rica
Europe: The U.K., Germany, Italy, France, The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Denmark
APAC: China, Japan, Australia, South Korea, India, Taiwan, Malaysia, Hong Kong
The Middle East and Africa: Israel, South Africa, Saudi Arabia
Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Key Players Perspective:
Some of the key players mentioned in this report are Google, Qualcomm, Microsoft, Samsung, Cisco, Apple, Here Holdings, Hewlett Packard, INSITEO, AeroScout Industrial among others.
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Indoor Positioning and Navigation Market Trends:
Google is developing an indoor location positioning technology based on its Tango Augmented Reality (AR) system. This new technology is called Visual Positioning Service (VPS). It will allow a mobile device to swiftly and accurately understand its position indoors. Using visual clues from distinct features in the room, a Tango-enabled phone would be able to recognize where it is in space by comparing new points captured by its camera with previously observed ones.
January 24, 2018: Here Technologies, a mapping company valued at around $3 billion has acquired Micello, a company based in California that operates a platform for creating, editing and publishing indoor maps. This acquisition will support HERE’s strategy to provide world-class mapping and advanced location services both indoors and outdoors. In combination with HERE’s unique tracking technologies, indoor maps will enable new and innovative market solutions such as the tracking of parts on a factory floor, the optimization of workspace usage, indoor wayfinding at complex transit interchanges, and last mile guidance in vehicles.
Fantasmo, a notable technology start-up, has camera positioning standard (CPS) which captures spatial data through your device’s camera. With this data stored in a server, AR apps can readily and accurately determine position and location relative to recognized landmarks in the immediate vicinity. Fantasmo’s approach also mirrors another startup, 6D.ai, whose platform can capture a dense 3D mesh with smartphone cameras while running in the background.
Sydney airport introduces Apple Maps. Getting around Sydney Airport just got easier due to the gateway’s adoption of Apple Maps (web mapping service), which shows users how to navigate their way through T1 International, T2/T3 Domestic terminals and its car parks. Customers can now easily find facilities and services inside the terminal, including restrooms, parent’s rooms, elevators and shops, and see current location with indoor positioning.
Infsoft 360° Antennas’ Angle of Arrival technology has spurred a new way about how to calculate location. These receiver antennas detect the radio signals emitted by any mobile 2.4 GHz transmitter (e.g. beacon) that is in range. Based on the angle and distance determined, it is possible to calculate the position of an object equipped with such transmitter with an accuracy of 1 to 3 meters. This makes server-based BLE solutions a favorable alternative to cost intensive Ultra-wideband (UWB) applications as long as no centimeter accuracy is required. In comparison to using UWB, a beacon based tracking system utilizing AoA technology can be set up at much lesser costs and also has an advantage of a longer battery lifetime. Practical applications of this technology can include tracking systems in logistics, for example, which can make a decisive contribution to maximizing warehouse operations.
#indoor positioning market#indoor navigation market#location based promotions#geo-fencing#asset tracking#emergency services#navigation market#indoor positioning market size#Localization#Mapping
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Plumbing Diagnosis with Sewer Line Video Inspection.
Unlock the Power of Precise Plumbing Diagnosis with Sewer Line Video Inspection.
In the complex world of plumbing, accurately diagnosing issues with sewer lines can often feel like navigating a maze without a map. Traditional methods of diagnosing sewer problems can be hit or miss, requiring extensive time and sometimes unnecessary excavation that can further disrupt your property. However, with the advent of sewer line video inspection services, homeowners and businesses alike can now unlock the power of precise, efficient, and non-invasive diagnosis to ensure the health and functionality of their plumbing systems. Our state-of-the-art video inspection services offer a comprehensive solution to identifying and addressing sewer line issues with unparalleled accuracy.
If you're experiencing issues with your sewer line or simply want to take a proactive approach to maintenance, contact us today plumber near me to schedule your sewer line video inspection. Let us help you keep your plumbing system in peak condition with our reliable, technology-driven solutions.
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#Plumbing Diagnosis with Sewer Line Video Inspection.#Unlock the Power of Precise Plumbing Diagnosis with Sewer Line Video Inspection.#In the complex world of plumbing#accurately diagnosing issues with sewer lines can often feel like navigating a maze without a map. Traditional methods of diagnosing sewer#requiring extensive time and sometimes unnecessary excavation that can further disrupt your property. However#with the advent of sewer line video inspection services#homeowners and businesses alike can now unlock the power of precise#efficient#and non-invasive diagnosis to ensure the health and functionality of their plumbing systems. Our state-of-the-art video inspection services#If you're experiencing issues with your sewer line or simply want to take a proactive approach to maintenance#contact us today plumber near me to schedule your sewer line video inspection. Let us help you keep your plumbing system in peak condition#technology-driven solutions.#Emergency Plumbing trusted local provider for full plumbing services in Highland Park#Lake Forest#Lake Bluff#Glenview#Deerfield#Northbrook and beyond.#Phone#224-754-1984
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"A newly formed group of women is creating a map of community fridges and neighborhood pantries across Baltimore, the Bmore Community Fridge Network.
"I am one of four women," said Elizabeth Miller, one of the network organizers. "We are career women, and we just want to see Baltimore do well."
They hope to highlight neighbors looking to serve others, hoping residents living nearby can get connected to the free food being offered to them. Miller said sometimes it can be hard for some residents to travel to local food pantries.
"Some people who are struggling with food insecurity have a lot going on, and it's really hard to get to a pantry on the days that they're open, on the days of the giveaway, navigating bus lines and bringing that food back home with them," Miller said. "Some people simply don't drive."
Miller said the group has connected with about four community fridges and has put them on the network map. However, the group plans to add more locations to the map. They will be at organizations already serving the community.
"...we will provide food for you."
"We provide resources, therapy, and outpatient services," said Nikki Smith, the CEO of The Journey Mental Health and Wellness.
"I don't care who you are, where you are," Smith said. "If you ring the doorbell and you're hungry, we will provide food for you."
The Bmore Community Fridge Network secured a donated refrigerator, which will sit outside of Smith's center, adding it to the community fridge map. Smith adds that other organizations are looking to chip in with donations to keep the fridge stocked.
"I'm hoping that everyone will pay it forward and they will understand that 'Hey wait, there's somebody here that's helping. Maybe I can help too," she said.
The Food Project will also receive a donated refrigerator, which will sit outside of their center.
"I think it's wonderful to have this additional access to food," said The Food Project Executive Director Michelle Suavo. "At the end of the day, we have a pop-up market three times a week, and it's still not enough...Throughout the night, there are so many people coming through that this is really going to help to service that additional need."
As the network grows, they are reminding families of the many neighbors across the city who truly care.
"There's no real rules about how much you can take," Miller said. "Take what you need. You never know what mouths are waiting at home."
Miller said the Bmore Community Fridge Network is trying to get more fridges and searching for more locations to house them.
She encourages everyone to donate to these community fridges by dropping off what you can to a fridge.
"It's spring," she said. "Go through your closet. Do you have canned goods or shelf-stable items that you can donate to one of these pantries? Do you have extra items in your freezer?"
Food insecurity in Baltimore
Maryland Food Bank data shows more than 90,000 city residents are food insecure. The Food Bank said 1 in 3 Marylanders face food insecurity.
The Baltimore Area Survey (BAS) found 28% of Baltimore area residents experienced food insecurity in 2024, down from 36% in 2023.
However, the survey showed the region's rate of food insecurity remained nearly twice as high as the national average.
If you or anyone you know are struggling with food insecurity, click here for an additional resource."
-via CBS News, March 28, 2025
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LA Wildfire Resources
this is a collection of all of the information and resources i've found to help those affected by the los angeles count wildfires. this is not a completed list, and you are welcome to send me an ask with any additional links, fundraisers, information, or other resources that you know of and i will update this post accordingly. if there are any missing or incorrect links, please let me know. stay safe out there 💜
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Live Updates on the Southern California wildfires & Evacuation Orders
LA Scanner - Coverage of Pursuits, Crimes, Wildfires and More.
2025 Los Angeles Fires - Resources for Californians impacted by Los Angeles Fires.
LA Wildfire Resource Center - Resource navigator for finding emergency resources and support services.
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Mutual Aid Los Angeles & their Fire & Wind Storm Spreadsheet - An ongoing spreadsheet of resources such as shelter info, animal boarding info, addresses for distribution centers, volunteer opportunities, etc.
LAFD Emergency Funding Alert & Fire Zone Map - Donations to help support the Los Angeles Fire Department.
The Partnership for Inclusive Disaster Strategies - Lists of evacuation shelters and hotlines for those who are disabled and in impacted by the fires.
Los Angeles Regional Food Bank
Thread of mutual aid groups assisting through Los Angeles
CleanAirLA & MaskBloc LA - Mutual aid project to distribute free masks and respirators in the so-called Los Angeles area. They are currently taking donations for masks.
MaskBloc LA & their Mask Requests and Volunteer Interest - A form to fill out if you need masks or want to volunteer.
List of shelters, animal boarding, distribution hubs, and free items
Pacsun providng clothes and listing organizations to donate to
World Central Kitchen - Donate to support their efforts in Southern California to support first responders and families impacted by wildfires in the Los Angeles area.
Thread of organizations to donate to - Thread including links to disaster relief, firefighter aid, food banks, first responders, etc.
SoCal Wildfires: How You Can Help - Article including links and info for Californians. Links are also included in the Thread of organizations to donate to above.
Pete and Thomas Foundation supporting Pasadena Humane & LA Animal Care - How to support, injured wildlife hotline, and listed shelters for large and small animals.
Thread of GoFundMes to support people affected by the wildfires
What to keep in a grab & go bag - List of things to keep in a easily accessible bag in case of emergency evacuation.
Displaced Black Families GoFund Me Directory - Spreadsheet dedicated to black families devastated by the Altadena fires.
Advice from a survivor of the 2017 Thomas Fire on insurance, rebuilding, etc.
California Volunteers - Donate, organize, and volunteer for wildfire recovery here.
Baby2Baby Disaster Relief and Emergency Response Program - Donate to help distribute supplies to children impacted by the wildfires.
Guitar Center is replacing instruments lost as a result of the LA wildfires
Sunny Optometry is offering support to those in need of glasses, contact lenses, eye drops, face masks, and wi-fi
Stratia is offering a free place to work if you need a work space with wifi right now, and donation drop off/sorting + storage site for people who organize.
Seconds Market & their Match Donation Program - A program designed to directly connect donors with individuals affected by the LA fires.
Anti-Recidivism Coalition & their donation page - Donate to help support the incarcerated fire crews, including the 30 young men from Pine Grove currently out fighting the LA fires.
Spreadsheet of Free Mental Health Services for the LA Wildfire Crisis
Tips from an attorney on dealing with insurance companies
County of LA Vital and Property Records Access - LA County residents directly impacted by the fires can request property and vital records free of charge to help with recovery efforts.
Azay in Little Tokyo, LA - Donate to help provide free meals to evacuees, first responders, volunteers, folks who can’t leave their homes, and their houseless neighbors.
#los angeles#la wildfires#palisades fire#pacific palisades#california fires#la resources#altadena fire
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something like love
part - 8
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 7.0k
c/w - angst, language
a/n - i am so sorry for the wait you guys, but i’m so happy to finally be putting this chap out!! i hope yall enjoy 😈
When Paige wakes up before the sun rises, she knows something is wrong.
Ever since she was a little girl, Paige has been a sleeper. While the other kids were fighting off naps, she was begging for them. While the other kids began bothering their parents during the early hours of the morning, she would be konked out until noon if her dad let her.
And then she met Azzi. Became her friend. Had their first sleepover.
And ever since that morning so long ago, when Azzi had shyly jostled her awake so they could get breakfast, Paige will not wake up early unless it’s Azzi doing the waking.
But this morning, it’s silent—eerily so. The AC is humming and there’s traffic noises from outside, but something’s missing. In Paige’s half-sleep state, it takes her a moment to realize what exactly it is: the absence of Azzi bustling around, getting ready for the day, calling room service to ask about breakfast options.
Paige cracks her eyes open, to find they feel dry. Shit, did she sleep with her contacts in?
No—she didn’t. She took them out as soon as they got back last night.
As soon as they got back. Tipsy and flirty. Paige, still too aware of the feelings brewing uncomfortably in her belly, asking if they should drink some more, just the two of them. Azzi, reaching into her pocket with a sly smile and pulling out a joint. Paige, thinking she looked so fucking beautiful, moonlit and blowing out smoke from between her lips. Azzi, confessing things, Paige, asking for more. Azzi, shy and giggly—
Paige, giving in to her urges. Letting the marijuana in her system cloud any rational thought she could have. Pressing their lips together and going lower, lower, down between Azzi’s thighs, watching in awe or wonder or reverence as she bared herself completely. Like she trusted Paige. Like Paige deserved it.
Carefully, almost as if afraid, Paige glances around the dark room. She’s on the edge of the bed, facing the window. Senses suddenly overflowing with something acutely familiar, Paige can picture the girl on the bed next to her, almost knows exactly how she’s laying without even seeing her yet.
Deep breath. Don’t get sick, Paige. Be normal.
Roll over. Onto her back, at first, to stare at the ceiling, and then, finally, onto her side.
And there she is. Lying on her back, the sheets bundled around her waist, one arm over her face while the other spreads out to Paige’s side of the bed—Azzi is breathtaking like this.
Breathtaking, and beautiful, and vulnerable. Oh-so vulnerable, while Paige lays beside her, fully clothed. No part of her bare, because she was unwilling to show herself to Azzi last night. She wonders why, now. She doesn’t really have to.
Cautiously, Paige reaches a hand out, brushing a strand of hair from Azzi’s face almost instinctively. Azzi doesn’t stir, and it emboldens her to move her hand lower, fingers tracing delicately over her jawline, down the line of her neck, to her collarbones. It’s only when Azzi does stir that Paige pulls away, reluctantly, because she’s not sure if she’ll get to see Azzi again like this.
And it’s that thought—the thought of Azzi waking up, naked beside a clothed Paige, angry and hurt—that scares her out of bed, ambling quietly over to her suitcase and throwing on a pair of running clothes. She glances furtively at Azzi while she gets dressed, but not once does she wake up, and Paige doesn’t know whether it’s relief or bitter disappointment she feels when she leaves the room without having words with the younger girl.
Paige comes to a stop outside the hotel, Google mapping a running route, and while she’s at it her fingers move of their own accord, navigating to her messages and then to Azzi’s contact. But as she stares at the screen, she can’t find anything to say. Seeing that their last text thread was from last night, she scrolls up to read it:
azziiii where’d u go
u been in the bathroom too long
shoulda let me come w you
for real we’re abt to play a drinking game come back
i’ve been gone for like five minutes paige
the line to the bathroom was long
u guys in the living room??
yeah
bro it was definitely longer than 5 mins
not letting u out of my sight again fr 🙄
ok drama queen
just missed me that much huh?
yeah and what
missed my girl
ok p chill
i’m omw
hell yeah we’re up
The conversation ends there, and Paige distinctly remembers it, how Azzi had left to use the restroom and Paige had sat there, talking to old friends and boring strangers, not even pretending to laugh at their jokes while she waited anxiously for Azzi to come back. And how when she did, she took a mental snapshot of Azzi’s smile when they saw each other, her dimples lighting up the entire room.
The memory, unlike all the alcohol-hazy ones from last night, is vivid. Too much so. Paige shakes out her limbs, stuffs her airpods in her ears and her phone in her pocket, and runs.
She hates running. With her heart and soul, she hates it. If ever she needs to take her mind off of bad things, she goes for a run, because almost nothing could be worse than the feeling of her feet hitting pavement, her chest hurting, her side seizing.
Today, it doesn’t work. Even with music pounding through her earbuds, memories come back to her in crushing tidal waves: Azzi sat on her lap on the couch, Paige’s hands on her ass, Azzi’s lips on her neck. The two of them pressed close together when they migrated to the kitchen, Paige wrapped around her from behind, listening to Azzi talk to a few other students. She remembers how at one point some guy had approached them while they were snuggled up on the couch and asked Azzi for her snap; remembers how she’d practically snarled at the guy telling him to go the fuck away, Azzi teasing her about it afterwards and asking, What if I had been interested? but there was a satisfied smile on her face when Paige only pulled her in closer, as if she’d known exactly the reaction she’d elicit.
She remembers the way they’d held hands in the Uber, and all the way up to their hotel room.
And maybe it was inevitable, their only option, really, to end up the way they did—Azzi spread out naked on a hotel bed and Paige situated between her legs, licking her clean after she came.
Paige doesn’t know why she asked for a second time. Even in her slightly cross-faded, pussy drunk haze, Paige recognized that it might be because this is the only chance she’d get. Because fucking your best friend once is a simple mistake, something the two of them can laugh about later, even. Fucking your best friend twice is a slippery slope.
Azzi had given her another one, even though she was surely overstimulated and tired. Paige never wanted to stop tasting her, but once they were done, Azzi whimpering above her, she got this strange feeling—a need for affection, maybe even comfort? Like she not only wanted sex and fun but also some emotions attached to it, too.
Paige shakes her head, tries to survey her surroundings, tries to enjoy the view of mothers walking their babies, friends going to early trips at the mall, people commuting to work. But with each pound of her feet, something new hits her and it feels like getting smacked in the face.
As Paige crawled back up to Azzi, as they whispered sleepily to each other, Paige didn’t acknowledge the heat between her own legs, didn’t think about how the fact that she wanted affection from a hookup is somehow a larger revelation to her than the fact that she and Azzi just fucked, and she of course didn’t allow it when Azzi offered to return the favor.
She could never ask that of her. So she lulled her asleep instead, holding onto her like she’s afraid she’d disappear—and maybe she was. She wouldn’t have blamed her.
The truth is, Paige thinks that this was a long time coming. Maybe she knew it when they were fourteen and fifteen and slept on each other on the flight home from USA basketball, after a few weeks of knowing each other. Maybe she knew when Azzi’s family invited her to the state fair for the first time and Paige won Azzi a prize before they held hands on the Ferris Wheel. Maybe she knew when she spent the entire summer at Azzi’s house, and they spent nights tracing shapes and hidden letters into each other’s skin, trying and failing to guess what the other was saying. Once, Azzi had written something longer than usual, and when Paige had been unable to guess, she’d begged for Azzi to tell her what she’d said. But Azzi had stubbornly shook her head, told her that was against the rules.
When it came Paige’s turn, she lifted Azzi’s shirt and traced three words into the skin of Azzi’s back. Azzi had always been good at this game, and so there was a long pause afterward, and Paige thought maybe something real was about to happen, but then Azzi had simply rolled over and said, “No idea.”
Paige didn’t believe her then. Doesn’t believe it even now.
If she’s being honest with herself (and she’s never been very good at that) things between them have always been electric, charged by small moments between them, things that always went unacknowledged because both of them were too scared to bring this sacred little thing they had out into the open.
Paige stops to catch her breath, a little lightheaded, clutching her sides in pain. Running has nothing to do with the ache that’s overtaken her or the way she’s finding it hard to breathe.
The sun is up now, and she walks off the sidewalk into the little park she’s stopped at, heading over to a large oak tree in the middle which will hopefully provide some solace from the morning heat. She wipes at her brow, and the shade helps, but her palms are sweaty, back of her neck still hot, and it might be from the memories of last night, the taste she swears is still lingering on her tongue.
It’s not long before her phone buzzes and she knows it’s Azzi before she even checks. She’s always been good at that—sensing when it’s her best friend on the other end of the line. It’s a blessing and today it’s a curse, because she’s nowhere near ready to face the hurricane of emotions wreaking havoc on her mind. She takes a few deep breaths after the phone buzzes, putting it off, afraid of what she will find: an angry message, how dare you; a heartbroken one, why’d you do this to me; the truth, you’re a bad friend, maybe even a bad person.
With one last steadying breath and trembling fingers, she pulls up the message, only to find four words, so non-threatening they’re almost vulnerable: Hey, where’d you go?
She should be relieved, but her heart sort of sinks a little more at that. She deserves the anger, doesn’t she? The heartbreak, the truth?
Leaning against the tree, letting the rough bark bite into her skin, Paige checks the time and types out a reply. Went for a run, I’ll head back now
But she won’t head back now. She needs some more time. So, she deletes the message and tries again. Just went out, want me to grab u some breakfast??
The answer will be no; Azzi is picky about her breakfast, will only eat a certain few foods and never store bought.
So, sighing, Paige sends a simple: Went for a run. Be back by eleven. And before Azzi can reply, she turns her phone on silent, shoves it into her pocket.
She wonders what Azzi is feeling now. If its anything similar to Paige’s train of thought, or more likely, worse: that maybe this was all a mistake, that they can’t continue to be friends like this, that last night was real and that’s really fucking scary.
If Azzi just woke, she’ll be needing more time to think things over. So, jogging back over to the sidewalk, Paige starts running again, further away from the hotel. Further away from Azzi.
—————————————
When Paige steps into their hotel room, her shoulders are tensed, breath held as she waits for confrontation. But with a quick glance around the room, she realizes she can put this off a little longer—the bathroom door is closed, running water coming from inside. She sighs, shoulders relaxing, and closes the door as quietly as she can.
But it must not be quiet enough. Because a moment later, the faucet turns off, and then there’s a set of slow footsteps approaching the door. Paige tenses all over again, watching in what probably looks like terror when the bathroom door opens and there’s Azzi, in a hoodie and sweatpants, braids tied back, eyes and nose a devastating shade of red.
“Hey,” Paige starts, a softly as her strained voice will allow, but to her surprise, Azzi gives a firm shake of her head.
“No,” she says simply, sniffling, looking Paige up and down. “Get in the shower. We check out soon.”
“I…I know,” Paige stammers, caught off guard by the way Azzi looks both heartbroken and angry. But, of course, she shouldn’t be. Not after what she did to her last night. Taking a tentative step forward, Paige tries to meet Azzi’s eyes. “Az, listen. I’m sorry about—“
“Stop,” Azzi hisses, stepping out of the bathroom, closer to Paige. “I don’t want to hear it. Not—not fucking now.”
Paige opens her mouth, but Azzi holds her hand up, swollen eyes flashing. “Get ready. We’ll leave once you’re done.”
Everything good and stupid in Paige tells her to fall to her knees, beg for forgiveness, take whatever anger Azzi has to give about last night. And maybe, a few years ago, she would’ve. But she’s never seen Azzi like this, and that alone raises enough alarm bells in her head to do exactly what she tells her to do, hanging her head as she sidesteps her into the bathroom, turning the shower on to cold to try and ease the burning behind her eyes, in her throat.
Leaning against the shower wall, Paige rubs a hand over her face, and wishes she were anybody else.
————————————
It’s one hour into the drive home that Azzi speaks to her—really speaks to her—for the first time all day. And when she does, it’s so unexpected that Paige flinches hard enough to jerk the car aside.
“Let’s go to the park, first. So we can talk.”
Once Paige has righted the car, she risks a glance over at Azzi to try to get an idea of what’s going through her head, but her face is turned away, gazing out the window.
Turning back to the road, Paige doesn’t respond. She just drives.
It’s a hot day but once they pull into the park an hour later, the basketball court is empty, and she’s barely stopped the car before Azzi’s getting out. She goes to the backseat and grabs one of the balls Paige keeps there.
“Az,” Paige says, unbuckling.
Azzi looks at her and slams the door shut. Paige watches her walk away through the window before getting out and following her.
It’s clear at this point that talking won’t get Paige anywhere, which is okay and also not: she’s bad with heartfelt stuff, anything too touchy-feely—it makes her uncomfortable; but talking is also what she does best. She’s never been one to stand in awkward silence or take it when she’s told to shut up, because she always has something to say and it’s why Azzi often affectionately refers to her as ‘my yapper’.
There’s nothing affectionate in the way Azzi looks at her now, nothing soft in those doe eyes, nothing sweet in the dimples borne of a scowl. Paige doesn’t know what to do with this version of Azzi.
After a moment, Azzi starts dribbling the ball, and the mere sound is enough to get Paige kneeling a little bit, body reacting before her mind can, ready for a game. But Azzi doesn’t pass to her. “You wanna play?” she asks tentatively.
Azzi stares at her for a moment, then slowly shakes her head. She drops the ball and it rolls a few feet away from them. “No. Not really.”
Paige nods. Shoves her hands in her pockets, then takes them out.
It’s a torturously long stretch of silence before Azzi says, “What are we doing, Paige?”
Paige looks at her best friend, but she finds she can’t really look her in the eye, and she hates that, so she looks at the asphalt underneath her instead.
“And don’t say we’re pretending,” Azzi continues when Paige opens her mouth to say just that, “because last night—that wasn’t pretend.”
The odd thing is her tone lilts up a little at the end, as if she’s asking a question rather than making a statement. But maybe that’s not odd because Paige wonders, too.
Trying to recall everything she thought about during the long ride here, Paige glances up, takes a small step towards Azzi. “I’m sorry.” She tries to sound both casual and heartfelt, but instead it comes out all raspy and choked, and she cannot cry right now. “For this whole trip, this whole thing—I shouldn’t have asked you to do this for me.”
Azzi inhales like she’s going to interrupt. Now, it’s Paige’s turn to stop her. “Just, let me, okay?”
Azzi’s brows are furrowed, but she nods.
Almost immediately, Paige regrets saying anything. It’s now, with Azzi staring at her expectantly, that she realizes she has nothing to say. She has been thinking about it nonstop, all day, and still she doesn’t understand everything going through her mind—the guilt, the fear, the feelings.
She decides it’s safest to start with the guilt. “I need to say I’m sorry. About last night…” she fumbles, tries her hardest to right herself, “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this for me. Shoulda treated you better, instead of taking out my shit with my mom on you. And I shouldn’t have let things get so…real.”
Azzi doesn’t react much. Her stance doesn’t change, expression doesn’t really waver. Eventually she steps forward, so they’re an arms-length away from each other. “Paige,” she says.
Paige shuffles from one foot to the other. “Yeah?”
“You’re sorry,” she reiterates, and Paige nods, a little confused. Fuck, she’s really never been good with words. “You’re sorry for—last night?”
Something inside her wants to correct Azzi, tell her if she could go back and do last night over, she wouldn’t change it, and she doesn’t think she’s ever had to act when it comes to loving her best friend. But she doesn’t say that, instead opting for something less weighted, more trivial—“And for asking you to pretend to love me.”
Azzi’s stare is flat for another second before her eyes widen, and she turns around, pushing her hands into to her hair and shaking her head. And Paige can’t see her but it almost sounds like she’s…laughing?
“Azzi,” Paige mutters.
Azzi turns on her, then, and there is a smile on her face but it’s bitter, nothing humorous in it. “I can’t believe you.”
It’s Paige’s turn to stare. “What?”
“Paige,” Azzi says slowly. Then again, “Paige. You left me this morning. You fucked me last night and then you left me to wake up alone and you couldn’t even look me in the eye all day and now, what? Now you’re fucking—“ two steps forward, and then she’s jabbing an accusatory finger into Paige’s chest, “apologizing about last night? About everything? Like it was all a mistake?”
Paige can’t help but take a step back, heart racing. “I don’t…I mean, exactly. We’re all weird now—honestly we have been since the first week we started pretending—and I don’t want us to be like that. I hate this, Az. I just wanna be normal again.”
Azzi takes a step toward her. “Have we ever been normal?”
That gives Paige pause. Hands, legs, intertwined; fingers creeping under shirts while they lay together at night; stealing glances when they think the other isn’t looking. All things Paige never let herself think about too hard, because it made her nervous, jumpy. And now, after so many years of buildup has finally come crashing down on both of them, they have no choice but to talk about it.
She has nothing to say.
When she’s met with silence, Azzi scoffs. “Even now, you’re too fucking stubborn to admit it.”
“What?” Paige nearly whispers. “I’m not being stubborn,” and she’s really not, “I just—things were good, between us. You’re my best friend and I’m trying to apologize for—for the way I’ve been acting, for being distant and…and rude, and for being a shitty friend and complicating things and—“
“I don’t care!” Azzi screeches, and it startles Paige into silence. “God, Paige, you are so fucking stupid sometimes. Did you ever stop to think about why I dropped everything and came to Montana for you? Why I let you kiss me and look at me and fucking go down on me last night?”
Paige opens her mouth, closes it, and something curls in her tummy, this coiling in her gut warning her of how dangerously close they’re getting to everything she wants to leave unsaid. “I don’t—“
“Of course not,” Azzi scoffs, and Paige hates the anger in her tone. “I should’ve known. Because you’re only ever thinking about yourself. Making sure everything you do aligns with your little moral compass to make you feel good about yourself—well, guess what, Paige? You did fuck up this time.”
Paige steps forward, trying to wrap her mind around anything else other than the way Azzi’s looking at her like she hates her. “I know, I know,” she says, pleading.
Azzi stands her ground when she says, “You left this morning.”
Paige nods, understanding now. “I know.”
“Why?”
“Because I needed—time to think.”
“And, until just now, you didn’t realize that might make me upset? Waking up alone after last night?”
Paige watches her, and seeing the way her eyes get shiny makes her own throat constrict. “I guess, no, but I—things were going to be awkward, and I felt bad, and I was scared.” She finally admits it, the fear, and it doesn’t do much to loosen the knot in her throat. “I thought it was a—a mistake.”
“Well I didn’t think last night was a mistake, Paige,” Azzi says lowly.
And it’s then—just then, seeing the way the tears threaten to fall but don’t, trapped behind the words she wants to say but can’t—that realization dawns on Paige. And it’s enough to make her chest constrict because, no, it can’t be true.
Still, like watching a car crash, Paige can’t bring herself to stop looking. “Why?” she whispers, already knowing the answer.
When Azzi looks up at her with a quivering bottom lip and nothing left in her eyes but heartbreak, it’s all the confirmation she needs.
Paige stumbles back, and Azzi lifts an arm like she’s going to reach out, but drops it helplessly as the first tear tracks down her face. “I thought—maybe, you knew. I thought you knew and you were acting the way you have been because—“ she hiccups like a little kid, and it breaks Paige’s heart, “because you were staring to feel the same. I thought, last night, there was something real. Did you not feel it, Paige?” she doesn’t give her time to answer before she’s continuing. “And now I’m wearing these clothes in this weather because I couldn’t stand to look at the marks you left on me and you’re standing here telling me you’re sorry for wanting to fuck me, and God, Paige—I’ve loved you since I was fourteen. I loved you since I was fourteen and I should’ve fucking known you’d end up doing this to me.”
“Azzi,” Paige chokes out, the knot unraveling and giving way to free-falling tears.
“Paige,” Azzi replies, and there’s desperation in her tone like she wants to reach out, but instead she wipes furiously at her face before crossing her arms, effectively creating a barrier between them. “I need to know.”
Watching tears stream down Azzi’s cheeks, it’s all Paige wants to do to comfort her, to wipe them away. But her own vision is blurring and Azzi has this look in her eyes—like she hates her, like she loves her and she hates herself for it.
“Know what?” she whispers, the sun beating down on the back of her neck in a way that makes her nauseous.
“If you—“ Azzi’s bottom lip quivers, “if you feel it, too. If you love me, too.”
When Paige blinks the moisture from her eyes, there’s a moment of darkness and behind it she sees every moment, every fucking moment where they toed an invisible line, only to never speak of it again, to act as if nothing happened.
She opens her eyes, and realizes maybe they’ve spent their whole lives pretending, and only really stopped when they were just supposed to start.
There have always been feelings. Always an intensity when it came to Azzi, evident in the way Paige would get jealous of any of her other friends, the blowout fights they’d have over small things, because they couldn’t talk about the big things.
Paige has always wanted Azzi as something more. But—love.
Love is so complicated and scary and Paige doesn’t think she’d even be that good at it, anyway. And what if they did this—addressed the feelings between them and dated, for real? Azzi would be perfect, like she always is. Kind and gentle and soft, and Paige can only exhale at the thought of having her best friend that way.
But she inhales deeply, and imagines how she would is. She’s stubborn, hard-headed. Bad with words, bad with apologies.
“Azzi,” Paige says for the nth time, the only word she knows anymore, so she says it like a prayer. “We did one thing last night and I couldn’t even do that right. I couldn’t do any of this right, this entire trip. You don’t—you don’t want me. Trust me. You don’t.”
“You don’t know what I want!” Azzi cries, uncrossing her arms to push again at Paige’s chest. “You’re not perfect, Paige, and I am really fucking mad at you,” she bites, “but you have no idea how much I want you.”
“And you have no idea how much that scares me,” Paige replies, eyes downcast, a few tears dripping onto her sneakers. “I’m good at being your friend, Az. Let me be your friend.”
Azzi lets out a sob at that. “Paige, please, I know—you have to feel something, you don’t act the way you do and not feel anything, I—“
“I’m not saying I don’t feel it,” Paige admits shallowly. “It’s just like I said. I’m scared.”
For the next few moments, there’s silence, and in it Paige hears the birds singing, the distant voices of kids laughing at the playground. But then there’s a sniffle, a scuffle of shoes, and she dares to look up only to find Azzi facing away from her.
“Okay,” Azzi says, voice cracking heartbreakingly. “That’s it, I guess.”
Paige clutches at her belly. “What do you mean?”
“After everything that’s happened,” Azzi whimpers, “you think we can just go back to normal?”
It’s stupid, but that’s what Paige was hoping for. But she knows neither of them can forget this, leave it behind. And she doesn’t know if Azzi can forgive her, either.
She wouldn’t blame her if she never did. Even though the notion kills her.
“I’m sorry,” is all she can say, but it’s weak, broken, and Azzi just shakes her head, not bothering to look back as she heads slowly to the car.
“I’m tired, Paige,” she says. “Just take us home.”
————————————
When Paige walks through the front door, the house feels empty—her parents are gone again for work—but when she walks into the kitchen she finds Lauren on a barstool, eating cereal and watching TikTok. Paige tries to slip past her but Lauren perks up, spinning around and grinning when she spots Paige. “You’re back!”
“Yup,” Paige says, trying for a smile.
Lauren hops off the barstool and as she walks up to her, she gets this weird look on her face, like she’s studying her—but then she’s hugging her and Paige breathes a sigh of relief. “You guys have fun?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Where’s Azzi?”
“She’s, uh…out in the car.”
Lauren pulls away to scrunch her nose. “Why?”
“I dunno,” Paige says evasively, unraveling herself from her little sister’s arms. “Listen, I gotta headache, I’ma be up in my room. But lemme know if you need anything.”
Paige makes her way to the staircase, and Lauren follows after, the way little sisters do. She hears the footsteps padding behind her and remembers when she was a teenager, and Lauren was just a toddler, and their mom would always joke that Paige had a little shadow because Lauren would follow her everywhere.
Back then, it was annoying—and it is now too—but it’s also comforting, endearing.
Still, Paige gets midway up the stairs before turning around to face her sister. “I wanna be alone, Laur.”
Lauren frowns up at her. “Why?”
Paige picks at her thumbnail. “Don’t you wanna be alone sometimes?”
“I guess.”
“Well, this is like that. Just need some time.”
She takes a couple more stairs, but Lauren is still following behind her, and she turns around again. “Dude.”
“I wanna hang out with you!”
“I’m sorry,” Paige says, and she really is, guilty about the disappointment etched on Lauren’s face. “I promise we’ll hang later, okay?”
“Like later today?”
“I dunno, Laur.” The thought of doing anything but moping with her own thoughts sounds exhausting, and it’s evident in her exasperated tone. “I’m tired, we had a big night.”
“Really?” Lauren’s face morphs into a teasing smile. “Doing what?”
Paige fumbles, covers it by reaching to play with the cross at her neck. “Don’t, Lauren.”
“I’m sure you spent allll night kissing your girlfriend, didn’t you?”
Paige takes a breath so deep it’s nearly a gasp, for air, maybe, and she spins on her heel, taking the last steps two at a time. “I’m going to my room now,” she says, eternally grateful that Lauren doesn’t follow her this time. As a last thought, she calls over her shoulder, “And don’t bother Azzi, either.”
Once she’s in her room, she heaves against the closed door, looks around. They’ve been here eight days now, and it doesn’t seem like long but they’ve already left their imprint on this room: their scents mingling into the sheets, bed unmade, toiletries scattered in the bathroom.
In her back pocket, her phone buzzes. For a wild moment she thinks it’s Azzi, calling to ask if she wants anything from the coffee shop or to lay out their plan for the day, but she remembers quickly enough that Azzi has no reason to be calling her. With trembling fingers, she pulls the phone out, and is relieved to see it’s Drew on the other end.
“Hey,” she says when she picks up, plopping down onto the bed as casually as possible.
“Guess what,” is what Drew starts out with, and Paige smiles tenderly as she watches her brother give her an expectant look.
“Aw, I missed you, too,” Paige says, and when Drew’s expression turns to a scowl she laughs. “Okay, what?”
“You’re ’posed to guess.”
Paige sighs; she hates this game. “Fine. Um, Dad got us a puppy?”
“No.” Drew frowns. “I wish.”
“Lame. You’re coming to see me?”
This makes Drew frown even harder. “No, but I wish that too.”
“We’re going to Disneyland?”
“Aw, I wanna go to Disneyland!” Drew is downright pouting now. “Your guesses suck.”
“You didn’t gimme any context!”
“The heck is context?” Drew looks at her as if she’s the dumb one, but before she can retaliate he says, “Fine, I’ll just tell you. Dad said when you get back he’s gonna get us those shoes we wanted.”
“Shit, really?” Paige should be reluctant to match with her eight-year-old brother, but in her opinion he’s way cooler than most eight-year-olds. And also, those shoes are pretty dope. “Sweet. I thought he wasn’t gonna cave.”
“Yeah, I gave him my cute eyes.”
“Thought he said you were too old to be cute.”
“He was lying, I guess.”
Drew widens his eyes and pouts, the look Paige taught him when he was a toddler because if she was too old to mooch her way into things, her baby brother would have to do her dirty work. And it looks different now, without the chubby cheeks and missing teeth, but it’s still just as adorable as it was then. “You’re a real one, Drewski.”
“Mm-hmm.” They settle into momentary silence, Drew’s eyes wandering from the phone to something ahead of him—Paige thinks maybe his TV—and his gaze stays faraway when he mumbles, “I miss you, Paigey.”
Staring at her little brother over the phone—the little brother who’s her best friend, who has never been complicated or scary, who is taller every time she comes home from college—Paige’s throat constricts again, a constant ache beginning to form there from how tightly knotted it’s been all day. “I miss you, too. But I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Still another week.”
“Less than that.”
“Feels like forever.”
“I know,” Paige sighs, suddenly grateful that her too-old-for-emotions little brother is avoiding eye contact, because she can see her own nose and eyes growing red over the screen. “We got the whole summer together, though. By the end of it you’ll be sick of me.”
Drew shakes his head firmly. “No I won’t.”
Again, Paige sighs, trying her hardest to exhale all the feelings creeping up on her. “Me neither.”
“I wish I could come to college with you.”
Paige gives an exaggerated groan at that, causing Drew to look back at her. “No you don’t, I promise. It’s boring.”
“You go to parties every weekend!”
Paige looks at him in surprise. “Who told you that?”
“I have my sources.”
“Was it Ice?”
“KK, actually.”
“Yeah, well, KK’s a dirty liar. I’m way too studious for parties or any of that.”
“KK also said you kiss a lot of girls.”
At this, Paige gasps, downright scandalized. “I do not!”
“Well, she said that you used to, before you dated Azzi.”
Her very name is enough to yank Paige out of this bubble Drew pulled her into, and it’s like getting out of a warm bed on a cold morning. “I guess so.”
“Where is Azzi, anyway? I wanna see her.”
“Uh,” Paige hesitates—she hates lying to her brother, because they may be over a decade apart but they are each other’s confidantes—but she can’t just go telling the truth. Not now, and certainly not to a third-grader. “She’s out right now.”
“Out where?”
“The…gym.”
“But you always go to the gym together.”
“Well, I didn’t feel like going.”
“Why not?”
“Drew,” Paige says, a little too firmly, immediately guilty at the confused look in his eyes, “listen,” she says more softly, “I’m sure you can talk to her later, okay? Just not right now.”
Paige expects more complaints, but what comes instead is a bout of silence and then, “Are you okay, Paigey?”
Drew leans closer to the screen to get a better look at her, and instinctively, Paige pulls the phone away from her face. “Yeah, I’m all good. Why?”
“You just seem a little sad.”
Sad generously understates Paige’s state of mind. But, at the same time, he’s right on the nose, reading her incredibly.
“Promise,” she lies. “I’m good.”
By the time they end the call, Drew still seems suspicious.
————————————
When, ten minutes later, Azzi still hasn’t come inside, Paige peeks out her bedroom window. The car is still in the driveway, and the sun is glaring unhelpfully on the front window but Paige can just make out Azzi’s form in the passenger seat. She can’t tell what she’s doing—she’d assumed she’d be calling her mom, because she knows Azzi and when she’s hurt she calls her mom.
Paige has never made Azzi call her mom before. She is officially the very person she’s always hated: somebody who could hurt her best friend, so heartless and cruel she could make the unshakeable Azzi Fudd cry.
She hates herself for it.
Hates herself enough, in fact, that she almost wants to go out there. To apologize a million times over—something she’ll end up doing anyway—and to comfort her and to let her break that last barrier away, the barrier that kept her from saying yes in the park, the root of all her fears and inhibitions. To ask Azzi to give her a chance and to be brave enough to take it. To risk everything they’ve so carefully built over the years for something that could be even better.
But then, Azzi glances up. Paige ducks away from the window, wincing at the sound of the car door slamming.
The front door follows soon thereafter, and Paige presses her ear to the bedroom door, trying to make out Azzi and Lauren’s conversation downstairs. She can’t hear them, though—she can only hear enough to know that Lauren is doing most of the talking. And she doesn’t have nearly long enough to prepare when Azzi’s familiar footsteps ascend the stairs, coming closer to her with each rapid thump of her heart.
Paige barely has the common sense to back away from the door just before she comes in. And then, it opens, and they’re standing face-to-face, Azzi’s eyes red-rimmed and stone-cold as they avoid Paige’s.
“Hey,” Paige says hesitantly.
When Azzi doesn’t answer, Paige steps out of the way, wondering if maybe Azzi wants to come in, but she stays put. Her gaze goes over Paige’s shoulder, to the bed. She looks exhausted.
“You tryna sleep?” Paige asks. Azzi only shrugs, making a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat.
“Aight, I’ll…leave, then.”
Still, Azzi doesn’t move from the doorway. Finally, her eyes find Paige’s, and she holds them there when she says, “I think…I think I’m done, Paige.”
She’d implied it, earlier—That’s it, then—but hearing her say it out loud like this is a whole other thing, and it makes Paige want to double over. It’s instinctive, the way she reaches out to beg Azzi to stay, to let her amend for her wrongdoings and make everything right again, but Azzi flinches back and her arm falls limply to her side. “Okay,” Paige says, helpless. “I was looking at flights, earlier—I could get you one for tonight, or tomorrow morning, I know you prefer morning flights. But if you want good seats you might have to wait a couple days, but I could maybe call the airline and see what I can do? Just, whatever you want.”
Azzi winces, shaking her head slowly. “No, I meant—I’ll stay, for the trip. So your parents don’t get suspicious.”
“You don’t—“
“But after that,” Azzi interjects, “I think I have to be done. With you.”
Paige doesn’t react much, not outwardly—she takes a small step that’s more of a stumble back, and her eyes widen—but on the inside it feels as if she’s being ripped in two. “Azzi.”
“Don’t,” Azzi murmurs. She kicks at the floor. “I—we—need this. If we ever want a chance at being us again, we need space, okay? We need time.”
Paige stammers, so many words lunging up her throat but stopping behind her lips, creating a torrent so strong she can only make a weak, helpless sound. “I’m sorry,” she says.
“I don’t blame you,” Azzi mutters, looking up at her as she takes a small, tentative step forward. “You can’t help how you feel.”
Paige wants to scream at her, to say I feel it, too, to take her by the shoulders and hold her close and whisper, I love you, too—but she can’t.
So instead she says, “I wasn’t—I meant—I’m sorry. For leaving you this morning, for acting distant a couple days ago—for sending so many mixed signals, for being rude to you at the lake and for being mean when we got here—“ as she says it, it all becomes very clear to her, just how much she has managed to damage the trust between them in such a short amount of time. “It might not help, but I need you to know, you know?”
Slowly, Azzi nods, and her hand brushes against Paige’s arm. “I know you are,” she whispers. “I just—I don’t know if I can…”
“It’s okay,” Paige is quick to fill the silence, her arm burning from where Azzi touched her, “I know, it’s okay.”
Azzi bites her lip, and when her eyes trail back to the bed Paige shuffles awkwardly. “Hey, how about I sleep downstairs tonight, okay?” when Azzi opens her mouth, Paige stops her. “We’ll tell my parents that you kicked me out because I was—snoring too loud, or something. I dunno.”
“But won’t they think—?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Paige waves her off, stepping aside, relieved when Azzi finally comes in. “You deserve some sleep.”
She doesn’t expect her to, but when Azzi doesn’t protest any further, doesn’t say I can’t sleep without you next to me, it comes with a bitter disappointment.
She really, really fucked up this time.
@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa @router2260 @guesswhoitsn @patri-ots87 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @ijustreadignoreme @pazzilover101 @tropics43 @bueckersss @bigheadfudd @surferandskater5 @iknowth35nd @rhyxanwaters @graceinshade @azzilov
#lilah’s works#something like love#sll#pazzi#pazzi fics#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#angst#wlw#fake dating#uconn wbb#wcbb#wbb
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Navigating Deep Space by Starlight
On August 6, 1967, astrophysicist Jocelyn Bell Burnell noticed a blip in her radio telescope data. And then another. Eventually, Bell Burnell figured out that these blips, or pulses, were not from people or machines.

The blips were constant. There was something in space that was pulsing in a regular pattern, and Bell Burnell figured out that it was a pulsar: a rapidly spinning neutron star emitting beams of light. Neutron stars are superdense objects created when a massive star dies. Not only are they dense, but neutron stars can also spin really fast! Every star we observe spins, and due to a property called angular momentum, as a collapsing star gets smaller and denser, it spins faster. It’s like how ice skaters spin faster as they bring their arms closer to their bodies and make the space that they take up smaller.
The pulses of light coming from these whirling stars are like the beacons spinning at the tops of lighthouses that help sailors safely approach the shore. As the pulsar spins, beams of radio waves (and other types of light) are swept out into the universe with each turn. The light appears and disappears from our view each time the star rotates.
After decades of studying pulsars, astronomers wondered—could they serve as cosmic beacons to help future space explorers navigate the universe? To see if it could work, scientists needed to do some testing!
First, it was important to gather more data. NASA’s NICER, or Neutron star Interior Composition Explorer, is a telescope that was installed aboard the International Space Station in 2017. Its goal is to find out things about neutron stars like their sizes and densities, using an array of 56 special X-ray concentrators and sensitive detectors to capture and measure pulsars’ light.
But how can we use these X-ray pulses as navigational tools? Enter SEXTANT, or Station Explorer for X-ray Timing and Navigation Technology. If NICER was your phone, SEXTANT would be like an app on it.
During the first few years of NICER’s observations, SEXTANT created an on-board navigation system using NICER’s pulsar data. It worked by measuring the consistent timing between each pulsar’s pulses to map a set of cosmic beacons.

When calculating position or location, extremely accurate timekeeping is essential. We usually rely on atomic clocks, which use the predictable fluctuations of atoms to tick away the seconds. These atomic clocks can be located on the ground or in space, like the ones on GPS satellites. However, our GPS system only works on or close to Earth, and onboard atomic clocks can be expensive and heavy. Using pulsar observations instead could give us free and reliable “clocks” for navigation. During its experiment, SEXTANT was able to successfully determine the space station’s orbital position!

We can calculate distances using the time taken for a signal to travel between two objects to determine a spacecraft’s approximate location relative to those objects. However, we would need to observe more pulsars to pinpoint a more exact location of a spacecraft. As SEXTANT gathered signals from multiple pulsars, it could more accurately derive its position in space.
So, imagine you are an astronaut on a lengthy journey to the outer solar system. You could use the technology developed by SEXTANT to help plot your course. Since pulsars are reliable and consistent in their spins, you wouldn’t need Wi-Fi or cell service to figure out where you were in relation to your destination. The pulsar-based navigation data could even help you figure out your ETA!

None of these missions or experiments would be possible without Jocelyn Bell Burnell’s keen eye for an odd spot in her radio data decades ago, which set the stage for the idea to use spinning neutron stars as a celestial GPS. Her contribution to the field of astrophysics laid the groundwork for research benefitting the people of the future, who yearn to sail amongst the stars.
Keep up with the latest NICER news by following NASA Universe on X and Facebook and check out the mission’s website. For more on space navigation, follow @NASASCaN on X or visit NASA’s Space Communications and Navigation website.
Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!
#NASA#pulsar#Jocelyn Bell Burnell#spaceblr#space#star#neutron star#deep space#telescope#navigation#universe#astronomy#science
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What is it like to be loved by you?
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*



**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
How to choose a pile?
Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.
I have been scammed recently and am now in urgent need of money. I would appreciate any kind of help you can offer.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💝
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 1
Being loved by you feels like walking through a calm meadow at dusk, where the sunset warms everything it touches. It's comforting yet sometimes brings a touch of sadness, wrapping people in a mix of feelings that sway between happiness and longing. Your love is like a gentle storm, stirring hearts with whispers of desire and moments of peace. When people are with you, they find comfort, a quiet place in the midst of life's chaos. Your love is like a soft melody that plays in the background of their days, a constant feeling deep inside. It's like dancing freely, where each move follows the beat of their hearts. But your love isn't just sunshine on a clear day; it's also the rain that nurtures their soul. It's tears that cleanse and heal, washing away doubts and fears. Your love is like a beautiful song with both strong and tender parts, where every rise leads to a peaceful end. Loving you means navigating life's ups and downs, embracing imperfections, knowing you see them as both flawed and perfect. Your love is an adventure with no map, where every turn brings new discoveries, and each moment feels endless.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 2
You make people feel like they're floating in a realm of pure magic when you love them. Your love is a bright light that fills their world with pure happiness, coloring every moment with vibrant joy and wonder. Yet, in this enchanting feeling, they sometimes feel like ghosts wandering through deep emotions. Your love touches them so deeply that it stirs echoes of vulnerability and uncertainty. It's like they're dancing between different feelings, feeling both the warmth of your love and the quiet fears inside them. But in this delicate dance of emotions, there's a beauty that mixes with their worries. Your love challenges them to face their vulnerabilities and fears, guiding them through doubts towards a clearer understanding of themselves and your relationship. It's a journey where success isn't just measured by regular standards, but by the growth and courage they find within themselves. Your love encourages them to embrace every part of who they are, even the parts that might seem fleeting or unnoticed. So, I want you to know that being cherished by you is a surreal experience, a beautiful mix of pure happiness and deep self-reflection.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 3
Your love gives people a deep sense of confidence that comes from within, making them feel empowered to face life's challenges with strength and self-belief. It's more than just feeling loved; it's about finding a new assurance in who they are, guided by the warmth of your affection. Being loved by you awakens their spirit to new possibilities, like a seed bursting into bloom after a long slumber. Your love sparks growth, stirring their soul and deepening their connection to the world around them. It's a journey of self-discovery and understanding, where every step forward is lit by the comfort of your embrace. In your presence, they find a delicate balance that brings together life's joys and difficulties with grace. Your love acts as a steady anchor, keeping them grounded amid life's ups and downs, ensuring they face each day with resilience and inner peace. Your love fills them with a warmth and tenderness that words can't fully express. It envelops them completely, like a gentle hug that stays in their heart. The depth of emotion you bring overwhelms them with gratitude and joy, feelings that go beyond words. Being loved by you is a really divine experience.
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
#tarot reading#pick a card#tarot cards#free readings#free tarot#tarot#pick a pile#tarotblr#pick a picture#pick a photo#tarot readings#tarot deck#future spouse reading#love reading#intuitive readings#psychic readings#tarotcommunity#tarotwithavi#tarotwisdom#tarot witch#tarot community#witchblr#spiritual community#astro community#astroblr
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Hope
Pairing: Roboute Guilliman x FemReader
Warnings: So. Much. Angst.
Description: Guilliman mourns his beloved's "death".
Oof, this was a rough one to write, even though it's short. I've really put this poor blueberry through the wringer.
(This is a continuation of my Guilliman x Reader series. To find the previous chapters, check out my Masterlist.)
Guilliman observed the rage in Captain Takahashi’s black eyes as if from a great distance. Dimly, he registered her voice as she bent over the holographic star map.
“We will come to the beginning of the Wards in a few standard hours’ time.” She gestured with her left arm, the right ending in a bandaged stump just below the elbow. “I’ll need a moment to observe the maelstrom and discern the patterns, before I can begin imparting instructions.”
The Chief Navigator stood at her elbow, double-jointed fingers steepled before his gray lips. “These ‘Wards’, you say? They are a… maze, in the Warp?”
“And out of it.”
“How is this possible?”
Guilliman let his gaze drift between the two.
The Captain’s eyes remained fixed on the map. “You’d call it, Archeotech. The secrets of its creation have been lost to time though, thank the Light, TerraNova’s original colonists preserved the knowledge of its maintenance. I am no engineer, but every school child learns how our forebears scattered mechanical ‘beacons’ of a sort behind them as they fled the Machine War.”
Pressing her remaining hand to her lips, she gave a single, tearing cough. A medica in a charred uniform, half her face bandaged, stepped forward.
“Captain, you should return to the infirmary for your next round of anti-rads.”
Captain Takahashi waved her away. “In a moment, Lieutenant.” She returned to the star map. “As I was saying, these ‘beacons’ emit frequencies that twist both the Warp and Realspace, bending reality and unreality into a knot of ever-shifting pathways. The Wards.”
The Navigator’s white eyes widened. “As a child I heard rumors… stories of Navigators caught in such knots… driven mad….” His head jerked toward the Captain. “How do your people pass through such insanity?”
“Few ever do.” The Captain’s lips tightened. “But for those who must, we are taught to recognize the patterns in the maelstrom, our reflexes sharpened to make split-second navigational corrections. It is a brutal process, and in the last few decades has mostly been delegated to new navigational computers.” A sharp snort. “Mine, which now happens to be charred debris in the void.”
Something rose inside Guilliman, clawing at his shield of detachment. “You made promises, Captain Takahashi.”
Every soul in the room, even his Ultramarines, flinched. The TerraNovan Lieutenant cowered back against a wall.
The Captain trembled a moment, then turned to face him. “I did. And I will keep them, Lord Guilliman.” Her eyes rose to his face, but did not meet his gaze. “I am of the last generation of naval officers trained to manually navigate the Wards. I will see your fleet through.”
“Some would call your actions treasonous.”
Her eyes managed to meet his. “All those to whom I swore oaths of service betrayed me, Lord Guilliman. Because of them, hundreds of my crew are dead. Not just proud voidsmen and women of our Navy, but the families who sailed with them. Children. The ship we called our home lies a broken corpse.”
Her eyes dropped away. “I failed them. And I failed the only one of our royal family for whom I felt any true loyalty. Let them call it treason.” She clenched her one fist.
“I call it vengeance.”
For a brief moment, a flicker of understanding passed between them. Primarch and Captain. He felt himself nod before turning away and exiting the room.
He moved without conscious thought, feet following patterns drilled into him long before his ten thousand year stasis. Corridors, doors, people all passed in a blur. The cacophony of the ship morphed into a meaningless babble. Vaguely, he registered the heavy tramp of ceramite boots behind him.
Too late did he realize his destination.
The door to your quarters stood before him.
No….
His hand reached for the control panel.
No…!
He watched himself enter the code, heard the hiss of sliding metal as the portal opened into darkness.
Stop….
But his body refused to obey. Or, perhaps, it obeyed some urge far more powerful than conscious will. He heard himself ordering his guard to remain outside, and stepped through the door…
…into memory.
Your scent rose all around him, overwhelming, choking. It shattered the frigid defenses he’d erected around his mind and hearts. It stabbed. It soothed. He loved it. He hated it.
He stumbled forward, hands pawing blindly until they met the bed. His knees buckled. He crashed to the floor, hands still tangled in the sheets that smelled achingly of you.
You…you…you…you….
You, standing before him for the first time, single heartbeat fluttering like a bird in his ears.
You, face earnest as you advocate for the home and people you care for.
You, giggling at one of his ill-timed, foolish jests.
You, laid out beneath him, eyes shining as you tell him you love-
“No…,” Guilliman groaned, “stop. Please….”
The memories ceased, replaced by something far, far worse.
You, dressed in purest white, standing before him at the altar, pledging love and faithfulness for the rest of your days.
You, blushing fiercely, as he presents their new Lady to the cheering crowds of Macragge.
You, panting his name as he worships your perfect body.
“No, no, no!” He buried his face in your sheets, only for the concentrated fragrance they carried to unlock his most searing fantasy.
You, glowing with joy as you bounce a golden-haired child on your hip, your belly growing round yet again.
“Pater! Pater!”
“Come, Roboute! Work will wait. Come spend time with your family, my love!”
Roboute Guilliman, Primarch, Lord Regent of the Imperium of Man, wept.
He did not weep as he had as a young man when Konor Guilliman, his true father, lay dying before him. He did not weep as he had when, after his reawakening, he discovered the memorial to Tarasha Euten deep within the Fortress of Hera.
Even in those times, he’d known there to be a future beyond his pain.
But now….
Fabric tore as his fists clenched around the sheets. He raised his eyes to find one of the innumerable skulls carved into every surface upon the ship. A grisly symbol of the deity supposedly watching over them all.
“Why?” His voice felt ripped from the bleeding center of his being. “If you have the power people say, why do you use it to torment me?”
He staggered to his feet, still clasping the torn sheets. “Have I not given enough? Did you find me undeserving of even the smallest modicum of happiness? Why, then, did you let me feel it, only to rip it away?”
His next words came as an agonized roar. “Why did you give me hope?!”
The very cruelest of punishments.
Guilliman looked down at the shreds of fabric in his hand. “What did she do to deserve your ire?”
But, deep within, he knew the truth. The Emperor had not doomed you. He had. His love was a poison worse than any follower of Nurgle could concoct.
Hadn’t everyone he ever cared for died?
“I am sorry. Oh Throne, I am so sorry, my love.” Once again, he buried his face in your fragrance. “Forgive me. Please, forgive me.”
He knew he tortured himself. He also knew he deserved it.
Vengeance and rage could only light his steps for so long. He would destroy all who had taken you from him. And then their fire would flicker out, leaving him with nothing but a cold, lonely trudge into the gray of the future.
At the thought, all strength left him.
Roboute Guilliman curled onto the floor, knees tucked to his chest, whimpering like a child left alone in the dark.
…ping….
His eyes snapped open.
…ping…ping….
He clawed to his feet, chest heaving in great gasps.
…ping….
Guilliman hurtled from the room, nearly bowling over Cato Sicarius. The Commander’s queries went unheeded as he crashed through the great gilded doors at the end of the corridor and into his personal office.
ping…ping…ping…
There, on his desk, lay a small vox receiver, gifted to him by Captain Takahashi. The unfamiliar device was set to receive one specific frequency from one specific source: a miniaturized beacon set into a band of gold and sapphire.
A band he’d placed upon your finger minutes before you left the Macragge’s Honor.
“If you need me, press the largest gem in the ring. A beacon will activate.” He’d grasped your chin, ensuring you looked into his eyes. “And I will come for you.”
Ping!
The receiver lit with a pulsing, golden light.
And hope, that cruelest and most enduring of flames, ignited in Guilliman’s hearts once more.
@remembrancer-of-heresy @solspina @sleepyfan-blog @moodymisty @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan
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Please comment if you'd like to be added/removed from the Taglist.
#warhammer 40k#roboute gulliman#roboute guilliman x reader#primarch#primarch x reader#this poor man cannot catch a break
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I finished Veilguard btw so here's my long thoughts (be warned I've been writing notes during my entire playthrough so this is very long) for folks who want it:
My favorite parts of DAV:
Best level design in any DA so far. The platforming grew on me, and I think the levels were well-thought out and mostly fun to navigate. Arlathan Forest was exhausting but other areas felt nicely balanced with branching paths, hidden rooms, etc. Exploration in smaller contained maps done right imo.
Mage combat is really satisfying at higher levels. Pure ranged combat is totally impossible unless you have Davrin and Taash popping taunts back to back, but dropping a massive AOE while fighting close-range feels good too.
Being able to auto-equip and compare new gear is great.
Same with the codex entries. Not having to hunt down whatever note I just picked up is a huge improvement.
Upgrading equipment via duplicates incentivized treasure chest hunting, which I would have otherwise skipped lol. It really helped me slow down and take time exploring areas, and I appreciated that.
The final act didn't make the previous 70+ hours feel better, my fault for spoiling most of it for myself, but it was neat. Cool set pieces, cool fights. I was worried Elgar'nan was gonna have the same moveset as the Regrets, but his final battle was great.
Oh, I forgot Felassan! His notes were a tragic delight. Such a good man. Funny too. They didn't need to kill Varric to make Solas less sympathetic...I think Felassan's betrayal(s) serve that purpose well already.
Rook & Their Faction:
Without rehashing what I've said over the past few weeks: this is my least favorite protagonist.
Being a funny and sarcastic and irreverent hero in a DA game is not new. Not having a choice in the matter is. The Inquisitor was pretty fixed in their tone too (cant even choose a personality for them in CC) but even they had better aggressive options available.
Folks say not to judge Rook's depth by a Lord of Fortune playthrough but since factions are asymmetrical on purpose here are my impressions:
The Lords of Fortune didn't contribute to my run in any meaningful way other than getting Emmrich hot which is not unique, as it turns out, to any particular background. In fact, learning Natalene was a galley slave as an aside detracted from my experience. Being a former galley slave, former Circle mage (again: Rivain doesn't have Circles), semi-Dalish city elf with DIY vallaslin is unreal. Especially as characters continuously imply Rook is a young 20-something. The fact this wasn't immediately caught and course-corrected shows -- to me -- how hectic and spread-thin DAV's development really was. :(
Story & Antagonists:
Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain have cackling witch disease. No motivations outside of power. That was a little disappointing. Was also hoping they'd at least comment on Rook/Davrin/Bellara's vallaslin but they're too busy plotting world domination to really notice. Love their designs though. I'd love to hear a deep dive on how they animated Ghil's tentacles.
Veilguard feels like an immediate follow-up to Trespasser, not the ten year timeskip it says it is. I wonder if that's a symptom of adapting the live service story (content that was likely meant to stretch, similar to Anthem and Destiny, over a decade) for single-player.
I miss the politically-motivated meddling. Every villain is allied with the Evanuris. We needed some that aren't. The Right and Left Hand of the Black Divine, corrupt brothers of the Imperial Chantry, the agents of the Archon, a Minrathous street gang, some Rivaini pirates, anything, anyone.
It's crazy how all elven resistance seemed to evaporate with the dissolution of the Dread Wolf Army. As much as I'd hate seeing them duped and betrayed by Solas…I prefer that to just pretending everything's fine now. I could easily see alienage elves and slaves take Cyrian's path, desperate for change no matter the source, especially since oppression is all they've known and there's no end to it in sight. Especially with their gods confirmed as the source of the blight. All downhill from here I fear.
The Butcher. Would. That voice and that frame....it purred I fear. But even he was not immune to cackling witch disease. Wish he stuck around longer for personal reasons. My South is under siege and I aint talking about Ferelden.
Combat:
I found myself switching builds a lot, which was nice and kept things fresh. That being said: DAV needed loadouts for skills and equipment and a menu showing active passive skills + enchantments. A QOL update for this stuff would have been amazing. I want to try an archer run, but I dread (🐺) fussing with skill tree nodes again.
After fighting Mythal (my first full dragon fight) I was disappointed how all dragons share her same attack patterns. They didn't have to reinvent the wheel or anything -- this was the case with dragon battles in DAI and I thought it was fine -- but Mythal of all enemies should have been unique.
High-level demons are limited to Rage and Pride. High-level darkspawn are limited to Ogres. I miss those little scrungly lookin' despair demons and nasty ass hurlock emissaries. After 60 hours I did get a little tired of the same handful of mobs over and over.
Companions & NPCs:
The Veilguardians feel like my kids. Except Emmrich who's absolutely convinced he's in an age-gap relationship with my older lady Rook. It's not that they're uniquely dependent or rudderless, it's that their struggles are solved with nurturing pep talks. Reaffirm their worth, give them a hug, and all that inner turmoil is cancelled. Rich coming from the 'I should have been able to influence my companions more in DAI' girl, but Rook's impact on the Veilguard, the way their doubts vanish completely via some life coaching, feels off.
Speculation: I think the companions were originally planned to be NPCs. Their written banter in some of the notes, their verbal banter throughout the Lighthouse, they feel like they're meant to stay in the hub and act as quest-givers in the live service game. Especially with how Rook is excluded. That's fine btw it just helps explains some things. (Just remembered something else: when you talk to quest NPCs out in the world and the camera focuses in on the conversation, you can't see your companions. They chime in with disembodied voices, always hidden out of frame. That also gives me the feeling they were added later. Not confirmed btw just my hunch!)
Torn about Taash. I love them for breaking the 'agreeable companion' monotony but hate the ~animalistic race~ tropes they were saddled with. I've had issues with Weekes' handling of race and culture in the past. I'm disappointed to see it continue a decade later. I'll leave it there. Sten cannot smell ovulating coochie!
I tried to kill Lucanis during the final assault. Had full faction strength but I didn't complete his personal quest. It didn't work. Sorry Zevran!
Shathann's VA was acting her ass off. Great performance. Absolute bars from Taash's VA during their scenes too.
I dreaded (🐺) opening the Lighthouse map to see who wanted to talk. I usually love chopping it up and getting to know my party; that's my favorite part of any DA game. But so many conversations were just spent restating the obvious (Bellara is worried about The Gods and her brother, Harding is worried about her powers and Solas, Davrin is worried about the griffons and Gloom Howler, you know like in case you forgot). Running person-to-person-to-person and feeling no sense of accomplishment or progress for it seriously drained me.
The Inquisitor… I assumed vowing to stop Solas would block my Lavellan from pining and questioning herself after a decade apart and two very clear rejections. She kept asking whether he could still be reasoned with even in the midst of the final operation. I'm disappointed how little that choice mattered in the end. The second-hand embarrassment was crazyyy.
Romance:
Now this part is a little unique. Sorry for what I'm about to say about Emmrich. If it helps: I found him the most fun of all the companions. He's handsome, thoughtful, and has a fascinating past. But I ended up being dissatisfied by the end, and not just because of being soft-locked into a May-December fling, cringe commentary from Rook, and feeling like I was straight-up harassing Emmrich in early flirting dialogue.
The main issue: I don't care for the Mourn Watch. I like the Mourn Watch characters, but the organization makes me crazy. We hear so little about how they function in the context of an Andrastian nation like Nevarra. Summoning the dead in a world that still believes souls join the Maker's side in the Fade is huge. I wanted to really dig into discussions on the afterlife but in the end I'm supposed to go 'waow cool skeletons' and forget that religion is such an important facet of Thedas. I was so bummed!
I made him a Lich because he didn't seem to care either way. Reuniting him with Manfred is morally good, turning him into an eternal protector of the Necropolis is morally good. Emmrich is happy with whatever, so I gave him whatever, and I said 'whatever' when it was all over. My god is that man cute, but the romance overall just didn't do it for me.
Should've known when I saw his rotunda lol Bioware you sly dogs you got me again!
Personal final thoughts:
Well? I don't think I'm sad anymore, but I am left with complicated feelings. Obviously things are a little different for me being an EA Partner and getting an idea of just how much work has gone into making the game exist period. And I think because I can't blame it all on one person, shit all over it, and move on that these feelings are just kinda churning with nowhere to go.
Things could have been handled better. Didn't like the attempt to hide the world states until launch, or the dismissive comments from writers about it. Didn't like the AMA answers. And this isn't really my business but I'll say it anyway: I feel like the community council was thrown to the wolves, having to base their DA4 impressions around the sliver of content they were allowed to see, and having a much more hands-off role than implied.
I hope DAV is taken as an opportunity to refocus, double-down on what makes Dragon Age so beloved, and lean into those strengths unapologetically. Easier said than done -- as much as I loved Swen's speech about creating games free of marketing expectations and mimicking the latest trends that's often times impossible -- but I want to believe it can be done in this case.
Anyway both Sabine & my antibiotics are complete and I'm overcoming my moodiness and getting back to work on commissions! I've cured the Blight in more ways than one! 😄
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