The Mirror
My body is shaking, or maybe it’s the little window I have left into the real world that trembles, another crack branching across it. The same thought runs through my head again, and again, how could he, how could he, how could he do something like this when he claimed to love me?
Thoughts of Y/N as they adjust to the void after the events of Who Killed Markiplier
Read on AO3 or below the cut
At the time, things seemed hopeless.
How could they leave me here? How could he leave me here?
…
How could they leave me here?
My body is shaking, or maybe it’s the little window I have left into the real world that trembles, another crack branching across it. The same thought runs through my head again, and again, how could he, how could he, how could he do something like this when he claimed to love me?
I won’t let him. He doesn’t get to walk away from this, from me, especially not in my own fucking body-
I need to calm down. I can’t give up. They left me with a view, with his cane. We were made for each other. I was made for our love. I was certainly made for more than being trapped for an eternity, at least. Even if my love has crumbled, my life hasn’t.
I won’t let them turn my name to dust.
Unfortunately, getting yourself out of a magical possessed void was harder than it sounded. But, slowly, I learned things. I figured out what I could control, what I could create, the things I could do-
It turns out I was capable of many things, with the power of the void. Or maybe I was capable of it all this time, only able to unlock it now that I’ve faced myself and truly seen what I am, what I have to offer.
I had a world to offer, a life, and it was taken away by the person I offered it to.
But it’s fine. I can give him more now.
I can do more now.
He loved things that aren’t a part of me anymore. Things that were weak and stupid and believed the many sweet things he said. He loved my heart, the empathy I had, the gentle kindness I extended to those I helped through my work.
I loved those things about myself once.
Those aren’t traits I recognize in myself anymore.
My heart that used to be open is closed, wrapped in cracked sheets of glass and an endless void that looks like the night sky once your eyes adjust to it. Beautiful in its darkness, in its overwhelming, overbearing presence. Beautiful in its cold emptiness, in its clarity.
I’ve learned through the years-
The days.
The months?
I’ve learned the importance of avoiding the light, of keeping the limited endless world around me dim. The light brings things I don’t want to see, a warmth that burns if I try to feel.
I know now to keep the lights low, the warmth far away.
I used to watch out the mirror, my own personal window into a world I could no longer be a part of. I watched the dust collect, and then I watched new people enter, and I watched how they smiled and embraced. They were young and in love, and they were overjoyed at the start of their new life together. And I watched as new cracks splintered across the surface, starting as delicate spiderwebs and hairline fractures before splintering and spreading into deep trenches as shards fell and shattered on the floor.
I lost my window that day, but it’s for the best.
I know the darkness better, it wraps around me in a comfortable way the light never could. I can cloak myself in it easily, morph it around me and bend it to my will.
I can create things.
It doesn’t mean anything.
Nothing means anything, nothing has meant anything since he left me here.
I’d burn this prison to ash to see him again, I swear it to myself-
Despite the flame flickering at my fingertips, I never do it.
I wish I could say it was the oppressive air, or lack thereof, or that it was an illusion and not a real flame, that it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t escape.
But I had spent too long staring into the void and having it stare back into me. Lying to myself was a moot point. So I tell myself the familiar platitude as I extinguish my latest flame.
“Creatures of the darkness know how to keep the lights low,”
The flame in my hand extinguishes in an instant, a slight puff of smoke the only trace of its existence left.
“I know how to bide my time,” I finish.
My voice isn’t human.
The realization should surprise me, I think, but I’ve known it for a long time. Humanity doesn’t survive in the void. I do. And, whatever I used to be, I am not human.
A human can’t live so long. Has it been that long?
It feels like it. I haven’t exactly been able to keep track though, with nothing but infinite night surrounding me infinitely. Would keeping track make any of this better? I doubt it, but it’s an interesting thought to ponder. I spend a lot of time pondering, and experimenting, and pondering some more. It’s about the only thing I am able to fill my time with at this point.
I could leave.
But I can’t leave yet.
So I’ll stay and ponder.
It’s never long before my thoughts return to him- the one that left me. The one that glowered at me before disappearing from my view, leaving me to rot in a personal hell.
We were in love once.
Were we in love?
We might’ve been, but I’m not sure I can say the same thing anymore. How can you love someone who hurt you so deeply? How can you love someone who left and hasn’t come back? How can you love when your heart has iced over?
I’m not in love.
I hate him. I’ve hated him since the moment he left me here, him and his most darling sister stealing from me and leaving me like I’m nothing. Like it wasn’t my body they were walking away with.
You can’t love something like that. Maybe that’s why I haven’t left. There’s nothing out there for me. No love, no friends, family, not even my job would be waiting for me at this point.
“Why leave?” I ask, just to entertain my ears, or maybe to check that they still function. Sometimes it’s hard to tell in the endless silence.
“Why would you stay?”
Hm. That’s new.
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised to hear him. I know it’s him, even with the inhuman distortion, I’d never mistake his voice for another. He came from the void, it makes sense he could come back.
Which makes it more surprising to hear him, actually, because, “If you could come back why haven’t you until now?”
Something crackles and screams for a moment before quieting. His form is unstable. I almost snicker- what poetic justice for the twins to take a body they can’t even keep in line.
“Navigating the void isn’t easy for anyone, I didn’t know how to get back here.”
He says it like it’s the truth. He always sounded so genuine.
I wish I could let myself believe him.
I wish I could let myself see him. Why can’t I face him?
He says my name, gently, the same way you’d speak to a spooked animal.
“You should go,” I answer.
He says my name again, more insistent, and I know he’s approaching, reaching for me.
“You should go,” I repeat sternly, flame dancing at my fingertips before spreading up my arms, engulfing me to my elbows.
He touches my shoulder, pleading this time as he repeats my name.
“Damien,” the name burns on my tongue, “I’m leaving.”
I pull away, turning to face him as I unleash my flame, surrounding the two of us. He looks just like he did that day, grey and cold, strange red and blue apparitions moving disjointed from the movements of his body. For a second, bathed in the light surrounding us, he looks how he did in life.
Warm, gentle, soft.
Things neither of us are.
The fire spreads in an instant, flowing along a floor I can’t see, surrounding us in a bubble of light and heat.
Then, in a blink, nothing.
I’m on the ground, disoriented, feeling the familiar itch of grass on my exposed skin and staring up at pieces of a night sky through a sea of leaves.
I’m not in the void, I observe first.
Second, I observe that Damien isn’t here.
Good.
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Genuinely not trying to attack or "gatcha" people who do RPF. It’s an area I’ve never had interest in, and I have friends who enjoy it, but I don’t really get the stand that RPF can never in instances be a “bad” thing? Like with Markiplier and Jacksepticeye, where they explicitly stated to not ship them, they are not comfortable being shipped beyond friendship. "Please don't do that, please don't draw and us fucking each other" “when it became super vulgar, now you are crossing the line, and then people started writing all these fanfictions about it” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ziTZClMqmQ
I want to note here that Jack also said not to go after and the people who made this type of content or tell them that they ruined his and Marks relationships bc that’s not true. (I feel like this is a nuance that also gets lost whenever people condemn it? Saying they have ruined a person’s relationship. Or becoming and angry mob).
But the point still stands that you are going against an explicit wish of a person. sounds dramatic, but at that point you’re just kind of not capable of respecting an individual’s autonomy in my eyes? Is there a school of thought or rhetorical idea I’ve just not been privy to?
Hope this isn’t completely incomprehensible, English isn’t my native language & I just got hope from a party.
--
LOL.
Anon... Do you know just how often authors of novels or actors from tv shows say they feel degraded or assaulted or some other bullshit because someone was horny for their work in the wrong way?
And 99% of the time, it's to the tune of "M/M shipping is baaaad!"
I don't give a fuck if celebrities are offended that people find them hot. As long as the RPF writers themselves aren't shoving the fic at said celebrities, it's none of their goddamned business.
If they had any sense, they would instead tell their fans not to show them this stuff, not to let them know it exists, etc.
You're never going to stop people from having fantasies, and anyone who tries is both an asshole and a fool.
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Hi could you do general relationship headcanons with markiplier, please? thank you!
Got it, honey 😊 Hope you enjoy 💕
Pairing: Markiplier x Reader (Gender Neutral)
Warnings: None :)
Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Mark is such a character
He's a ball of sunshine on steroids
And keeping up with him is sometimes tiring
But oh so rewarding
Count on him uplifting your mood when nothing else is working out
Count on him being the strictest mother when you're sick or in general when you forget to take care of yourself
Very hypocritical of him, though, considering you sometimes have to either personally drag him out of his recording room to see the light of day
Or you bring him beverages and food in his cave to make sure he'll stay mindful of his health even as he's working
Whoever in his comments says they're his number one fan, they're wrong
Cause if someone's gonna be crowned Markiplier's No.1 fan, it'd definitely be you
You hadn't given two thoughts to who he was before you started dating, but now you're a literal fanatic
A front-line supporter on all his panels at conventions
A model for his merch as well as the CLOAK products
The subject of the majority of pictures on his Instagram
He's way better at taking pictures of you than of himself
But then again, that goes both ways when you check your gallery
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please tell me more abt Yancy in mark TV
Okay so my thoughts on Yancy in all the Markiplier TV stuff is really a mash up if a lot of different headcanons I've collected from different places and then some.
So like, big fan of the headcanon that Yancy is one of Mark and Celine's kids, and he ended up in prison cause he got blamed for the events of wkm. I know it's not perfectly supported by the canon or anything but it's fun, so, y’know, who cares. I can do whatever I want lol. And then I don't know how common this headcanon actually is bc I picked it up from like one specific fic, but Yancy as the security guard for Wilford's club in Wilford Motherloving Warfstache.
So like, Yancy grows up in Markiplier Manor for most of his life, Celine gets custody during the divorce, the events of wkm happen (maybe Yancy is the one who told Celine about the poker night, having heard about it from William, and that's why Celine shows up in the middle of wkm?) So then when Celine goes off and never comes back he goes out looking for her, police show up while he's there, and between intense unethical police interrogations and the fucked up house immensely fucking with his head, he ends up convinced he did do the crime and pleads guilty, landing him in Happy Trails eventually. Canon ensues, Yancy decides he's gonna get out on parole after God knows how long he's been in there. At some point he meets Wilford, neither of them recognize eachother really, but there is like, some subconscious shit working definitely. Wilford's like, 'hey do you want to work at my club? I'll walk you right out of this fucking prison' and Yancy is like 'nah man, I'm gonna keep on track to make parole, do this the right way, but if the job offer is still open in a few months 👀' and Wilford's like 'okay, sick' and so when Yancy gets out a few month's later, there's Wilford inexplicably, ready to pick him up. And so he goes to work as security at the club, and things are actually pretty chill most of the time, so Yancy's got a lot of free time to do his own thing, and he's got no fucking clue where Wil's money comes from but he gets payed well, so he's enjoying the job, even if maybe he'd rather be performing. He does some community theater stuff here and there, occasionally performs in the club, often ends up ranting about his narrative ideas to Wil after hours. And eventually Wil is like 'hey, you know I own a TV network right? I could give you a show.' And Yancy absolutely fucking takes that opportunity. Which is how he ends up at Markiplier TV.
I feel like his show(s) would be this weird tonal mess where it's like a Disney Channel musical sitcom, there's songs and comedy and it's all very much giving young teen drama with constant bits and inconsistent lore, but then the storylines all deal with very serious and realistic topics. There's fucked up families, and deep dives into the horrors of the American prison system, and death, and grief, all portrayed very realistically and with all the complexity they deserve. But also all of the character's act like disney sitcom characters the second they're not handling the serious stuff, and there's always at least one musical number per episode. It's actually probably really cool if you're into weird shit like that (as I absolutely would be), the video essays discussing it are probably insane. But it maybe doesn't speak to the average audience lmao. Yancy doesn't really realize and doesn't care. It's reaching the audiences it needs to.
Anyways I think him and Bim get along the vast majority of the time, they've got a mutual love of theater and a mutual hatred of Ed, cause I mean, look at Ed's lore and then look at Yancy. Yeah Yancy fucking hates Ed and his whole deadbeat dad thing. Luckily fights around the office are so common here that it's pretty easy for Yancy to get away with punching Ed in the face a little bit any time he says some asshole shit. Also maybe everyone turns a little bit of a blind eye to it. So really he feels right at home.
I think Google freaks him out from the get-go, and he's a little more interested in trying to get some info on the weird android shit from Bing at first, but quickly finds out that Bing can be like twice as uncanny as Google, and so he just kind of ends of steering clear of both after not too long in the office. I think they grow on him eventually but it takes some warming up lol
I think he and The Host actually get along. Like, maybe he freaked Yancy out a little bit at first, and then he started to realize the two of them had a lot in common in terms of their opinions and beliefs, and instantly he started getting all buddy buddy with the guy, and then it was the Host's turn to be a little freaked out, cause he's not exactly used to people being so enthusiasticlly friendly towards him. So they become friends. Yancy's always there to make sure he gets included in work get togethers and such since some of the other guys find him intimidating.
Dr. Iplier finds him a little exasperating seeing ad he is probably constantly getting hurt and also constantly leading to other injuries around the office (mostly Ed's, let's be honest), but, y’know, his enthusiasm and friendliness around the office probably win him over eventually, and his kindness to the Host probably helps.
The Jims and Yancy get along great, in fact Yancy is probably the only person around the office who actively gets along with them besides Wilford.
Wilford is always very supportive of Yancy, and Yancy still picks up shifts at the club a few times a week. I think maybe he's the only one who's met Abe out of everyone else at the office bc of his job. Abe knows who Yancy is and has tried dropping hints to Wil a few times, but they are not getting picked up. So it just kind of goes unspoken.
Dark and Yancy absolutely have the strangest dynamic. Dark definitely knows who Yancy is. Yancy does not know who Dark is, but I think he recognizes bits of his mother in Dark's personality and actions, and it freaks him out. Some one points put once that Dark and Yancy look alike and that they've got matching moles under their eyes and Dark leaves without saying anything, visibly upset, and Yancy starts wearing a bandaid over that cheek every day after. No one brings up that shit again. Dark basically let's Yancy get away with anything around the office, seemingly from a sense of guilt. Funds any ideas he has, let's him get away with bending rules, or beating the shit out of Ed, or whatever. But then Yancy does something minor, or something that puts himself in danger, and Dark starts lecturing, and Yancy gets real pissed off. The office stays tense for several days after every time. I think those are just about the only times at which Wil starts to recognize him. He usually doesn't sit on the thought for very long, as he's prone to do. But maybe he treats Yancy to a little something the next day any time one of those arguments goes down. It helps a bit, for both of them.
I don't think he knows the details of what went down in the manor, or that he's seen Mark since, or that he knows about Dark and Mark's whole fucking thing, and I hate to think about how incredibly badly it would go if he did find out.
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