Howl’s Moving Castle Incorrect Quotes
another shitpost bc I have problems 🎐
Ryan: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Sophie: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Howl: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Markl: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Calcifer: My moral code, is that you?
Ryan:
Ryan: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
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Howl: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Ryan: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Calcifer: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Markl: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Ryan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Calcifer: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Markl: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Sophie, annoyed: You are disappointments
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Howl: If you had to choose between Ryan and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Sophie: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Ryan: Sophie!
Howl: 63 cents.
Sophie: I'll take the money.
Ryan: SOPHIE!!!
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Howl: He stole from me first!
Sophie: Mhm.
Howl: Stole my heart...
Ryan: It is still illegal to commit murder.
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Howl: Fuck.
Ryan: We've got to work on your cursing.
Howl: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.
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Howl, Ryan, and Sophie are sitting on a bench
Markl: Why do you guys look so sad?
Howl: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Markl sits down*
Ryan: The bench is freshly painted.
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Howl: I think we're missing something.
Ryan: Teamwork?
Markl: Cohesion?
Sophie: A general sense of what we’re doing?
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Howl: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Ryan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Howl: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SOPHIE WITH ME
Markl, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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Howl: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Sophie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Ryan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Markl: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Howl: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Howl: Shit.
Ryan: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Sophie: OH MY GOD MARKL FELL OFF!!!
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Howl: *Screams*
Ryan: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Sophie: Should we do something?!
Markl, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
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Howl: I think Markl was right.
Ryan: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Sophie: He wouldn't do that.
Markl: You're right, Sophie. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Markl: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Markl Told You So' on the back*
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Howl: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Ryan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Markl?
Markl: Probably “road work ahead”.
Sophie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
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Howl: Dammit, Ryan!
Ryan: What?! It wasn’t me!
Howl: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sophie!
Sophie: Not me either.
Howl: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Calcifer: *whistles*
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Ryan, banging on the door: Howl! Open up!
Howl: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Sophie: No, he meant-
Markl: Let him finish.
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Howl: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Markl: Okay, but what is updog?
Sophie: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Ryan: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Calcifer: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Prince Justin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Markl: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Howl: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Sophie: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Ryan: What’s a henway??
Howl: Oh, about five pounds.
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Howl: Croissants: dropped
Ryan: Road: works ahead
Witch of the Waste: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Markl: Shavacado: fre
Calcifer: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Sophie:
Sophie, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
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Howl: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Ryan: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Sophie: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.
Markl: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Calcifer: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
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The found family remains together at the end of the movie.
They. Remain. Together.
Markl begs Sophie to stay, Howl refers to the house members as "our little family". That's what I love about Howl's moving castle: they find eachother, they decide to form a family and to live the rest of their lives together.
Don't touch me, I'm too emotional rn.
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Your howl fics are amazing!! I am so happy someone writes for Howl and Male and GN readers! :) Thank you so much.
Can I request a Howl x Male reader, where Howl is dealing with his own problems and is getting more annoyed by the minute, so when the reader comes to him with a small problem (like maybe they ran out of some magic ingredient idrk T~T), he just couldn't add a new problem to his list and snaps. He takes his anger out on the reader.
When this happens to me I usually snap, then go somewhere and come back home to sleep and forget about what I did when I snapped till the next day.
Maybe this can happen with Howl? Like the next day, when the reader is scared to talk to him he remembers what he did and comforts the reader.
Sorry if this is too long, I had ideas for Howl for so long but I can't write them out ;-; So you're like a miracle to me.
Take care <3
you are the sweetest anon ever. I can and will write this but it took a bit, sorry bout that. So here it is! Also, feel free to come to me with all your Howl x Male/gn Reader ideas I need stuff to fill my time anyways. I do apologize for this being so late I've been dealing with a lot of shit.
At the current moment, you were trying to make a potion that would help Howl recover less painfully after his little trips through space and time. That specific wizard was sitting at the table with his eyes closed and the bags under his eyes rather prominent.
You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. You couldn't find a certain ingredient you needed and Markl was out. You'd have to ask Howl.
"Eh- Howl?" Your voice started quiet. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. "Uh, Y/n? Y/n, kid, you shouldn't do that!" Calcifer warned from the fireplace. "I don't know where the dried maple flowers are! And I doubt you know." You countered.
"Howl, sweetheart, I'm sorry but-" You just barely touched his shoulder when he jumped up. "Fuck off, Y/n!! Why do you have to be so fucking annoying?!" He yelled, his eyes full of rage.
You flinched back, eyes wide. You quickly left the room, leaving the ingredients by the fireplace. Abandoned. "Howl.." Calcifer sighed. They both looked after you with mixed emotions. "You don't deserve that boy. Never did."
~Next Day~~
The morning fell around and you woke with some difficulty. Your face was red from crying and you were glad that there was more than one bathroom in this castle.
You washed your face and listened carefully for any signs that anyone was around. None. You slipped from the tiles onto the wood and were met with the glittering eyes of Markl. "Hey, Uncle Y/n, I was wondering- Wait are you okay?" He asked.
You nodded. " 'Course. What's up?" He shook his head. "Nevermind. I'll be right back! I have to do something real quick." Markl ran off down the hall, his red hair floofing out a crazily.
You gave s small smile before turning around and being met with sapphire eyes. Your face fell and you suddenly felt scared. "Wait, Y/n, please don't go." The desperation in his voice startled you. You looked back up at him.
"Y/n.. Darling, I'm sorry. I really am." His voice was quiet, like you'd never heard it before. "..." He raised a gentle hand and brushed a stray lock of hair from in front of your eyes.
"I was just..." He seemed to be struggling with his words. "Angry. Frustrated. Overworked." You finished for him. Howl nodded slowly. "Forgive me?" His voice was no higher than a whisper now.
You thought for a moment, gently intertwining your fingers together. "Sure. But this is your one and only free pass. You kissed him softly, no more than a peck. "Do you still love me, at least?" You blinked. Then giggled. "Of course, you moron."
He swept you up in his arms before bringing you to bed. Howl buried his face in your chest and restricted most of your movement. You twirled a finger through his hair.
The door opened, just an inch. And a hand came through with a handmade craft. Markl placed his little gift on the dresser and left, thinking he was unseen completely. You chuckled. How darling.
~The End~
I hope this is to your standards, if not I apologize
Again, I apologize for it being so late I've moved twice in the last year and moving schools is a pain in the ass. Doesn't do much mentally either.
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