#marle has a bad day today

[yuy-yu]

...

[ravenoclock]

@labyrinthhofmymind

A continuation of updates abt presque vu. Spoilers included. Italics are quotes from the fic itself. I apologize for not updating for a few days, I’ve been a bit busy.

CHAPTER NINE

Sirius is such a girlboss I swear. Androgynous royalty. Him being saying how they love confusion sm and making people confused like GET IT, LOVE. Also James being so supportive and being like ‘is it comfortable and how does it feel, etc’ is so cute. Love them.

The emmary :( idk what’s going on there but I feel so bad for them.

Oh, Remus, please like my knickers, please don't turn them into a joke, please like everything about me, even the things you don't understand, even the things you don't know, even the things I don't either. This is what I am. Please take me as I am.

GAHHHHH.

Also Remus being like ‘I’ll like u in whatever u wear’ is so wholesome.

MARLENE AND SIRIUS’ FRIENDSHIP. BONDING. OVER. A. MOTORBIKE. THATS SO THEM.

"Pretty sure she knows I'm fucking Dorcas," Marlene says, gaze fixed on the wrench. "She hates it. Can you believe that? I kill people and she looks the other way, but I love a woman and she hates me."

That’s rly fucked up. I hate that Marls has to go through stuff like that. Side note, I’m imagining Marlene with her hair short asf and I just died. MARLS THE WOMAN YOU ARE.

Also Peter…poor boy. Ik he chose to betray them and all that but Sirius saying how Peter used to be rly lively and shit and now he’s just… nothing.

SIRIUS MAKING REMUS BLUSH. HE BLUSHED. I SCREAMED.

Today, Sirius is as much a man as he is a woman, both simultaneously, with no words to describe why it's that way, or what it feels like.

Is it weird to say I’m proud of him? Like, a few chapters before she didn’t even know what she was feeling and now they’re more comfortable with it and they’re fine with it. Idk. I just love it.

To Sirius, control is secrecy.

…speechless.

"You're a vision," Sirius croaks, struck stupid by it, by him. "Do you have any idea how lovely you are?"

WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR. DHAJAJJSJSJSHSNDKELKWKAJ I CANT.

Sirius still thinking Remus deserves better and that he’s not good enough for Remus actually makes me want to die because THEYRE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. MOLDED FROM THE SAME CLAY. CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH. IDC WHAT CORNY SHIT I HAVE TO SAY TO PROVE THAT THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER AND ITS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING AND I LOVE IT.

Someday, he will be silent more often than he is not. Someday, he will be unable to recall his mother's voice. Someday, he will only remember her scream.

FUCK OFF. WHYYYY.

It's unfortunate, really, that so few of them live long past the proof.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

moving on to….CHAPTER TEENNNNN

HARRY MY BABY IS HEREEEEE AND SIRIUS IS LIKE ‘hmm I kinda understand why my parents hated me now’ lmao? I guess? Idk if I’m supposed to laugh?

Sirius would scamper out of her bedroom and rub her eyes with her fists and, half-asleep with a tiny yawn, she would reach out for her mother's hand and offer to walk with her. She would ask, on the few and far between nights where her mother actually let her small hand slip into hers, if she could give Regulus a hug, or tell him hello. And, occasionally, with a long suffering sigh like it was the end of the world, Walburga would hold Sirius' hand for a beat, then let go, then let Sirius do it.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.

"Merlin, your tears are contagious," Sirius informs Harry with a croaky whisper, not understanding why her eyes are suddenly streaming, why her chest feels like it's caving in.

;-; now I wanna cry. thx.

Harry, apparently, is chaos incarnate.

They love Harry so much they can't shut up about it.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY FAMILY. ALL LF THEM. LIKE THIS. FOREVER. COMPLAINING ABT HARRYS CHAOS AND BEING EXHAUSTED FROM TAKING CARE OF HIM, LATCHING ON TO EVERY LITTLE THING HE DID BECAUSE THEY DESERVED IT. FAMILY. THEY WERE EACH OTHERS FAMILY AND THEN THEY WERENT. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

But that doesn't stop Sirius from wanting to hold Harry all the time. That doesn't stop her from begging Lily and James to let her come over so she can watch Harry breathe, which is a bit odd, but it's an impulse she can't resist. That doesn't stop her from wanting to feed Harry, or coo at him, or change his nappies and rock him to sleep and gasp in awe when he accidentally manages to grasp his own foot in his fist and fling his baby sock halfway across the room.

I CANT ENJOY THIS WHEN IK ITS A CANON COMPLIANT FIC.

All that is to say, Peter's awkward with Harry usually, unsure how to handle him, scared to hurt him. It's sweet and endearing, but his caution must read wrong to Harry, because he genuinely seems to throw a fit every time Peter tries to have anything to do with him. Maybe they need to bond. They haven't seemed to do that yet.

Harry knows…

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. SIRIUS WAKING UP REMUS CUZ EMMELINE IS HOLDING IS ARM IS HILARIOUS. REMUS BEING LIKE OH YEAH I LOVE YOY. SIRIUS BEING LIKE OH SHIT. WOLFSTAR MY LOVES.

Even lullabies can be lies sometimes.

So….whos paying for my therapy?

Oh my god. Lily laughing her ass off thinking Dumbledore’s lost his mind and James and Sirius being like ‘umm so who’s gonna tell her?’ And Remus agreeing with Lily but looking at Sirius and realizing she’s not fucking around. Sirius being like ‘it doesn’t fucking matter if you think the prophecy is bullshit, they won’t. they’ll come after your baby whether or not this prophecy is real.’ And Lily being like ‘oh shit you motherfucker now WHY would you say that?’

"She gets it now," James weeps, "and somehow that's worse."

Of course. There’s a saying I can’t quite remember for this kind of situation.

Zar’s metaphor for time and growing up… that’s my 10th life gone y’all.

Remus takes one look at him, and the fight doesn't even exist. They don't say they're sorry, and they don't talk about it anymore, and they simply let it fizzle into nothingness until all that's left is the way they hold each other.

…something tells me that’s kinda toxic. But wolfstar and communication don’t work rly well together. I wish they would just talk :(

It's the brightest part of Sirius' life, to be loved by that kid.

Christ on a Stick. I can’t do this today.

Later, Sirius will think about that tradition he heard about, the one that's almost a superstition, where you're not supposed to do anything strenuous or upsetting on New Years, or else you'll be stuck doing it all year following. It's meant for chores, usually, not for going without your best friend.

Jaw dropped. Tears cried. Screams scrumpt.

I feel a headache incoming so that’s all I’m reading for today. I finished chapter 10!!! Apparently there’s some time for me to prepare for what happens in 1981 so I’m very thankful for that but I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready :( anywho sorry that it’s a bit shorter this time but yeah! those r my thoughts for chapters 9 & 10 of presque vu. Have a great day :)

[starchaseriseverything]

Today is Marlene’s birthday. Today is the worst day of her life. Today is also the best day of her life. The past few years have been the best of her birthday’s but when she wasn’t going to Hogwarts and didn’t have friends to come to her house, it was bad. Her parents were drunk all the time, her oldest brother was too busy taking care of everyone, the other two oldest were off at college, and her younger brother wasn’t good at dates, so she never had anyone to celebrate with. Even all her friends forgot besides three of them, James, Peter, and Barty.

James, Peter, Marlene, and Barty all grew up in the same neighborhood and always pulled pranks on the other kids, especially on one of their birthday’s when the rest forgot. They were best friends at a young age. Marlene and James’s parents were friends before they were born, so they’ve known each other since they were babies, as well as Marlene’s brothers, Maxwell, Matthew, Mason, and Mitchell.

James and Barty met when they had a pure-blood meeting and the kids had to come, as well. James didn’t connect with anyone there besides Barty and he was too shy of a kid at that age to go up to anyone. Barty came up to him. Barty began coming around James’s house after that, he met Marlene, and he didn’t care about blood-status like his father did. He didn’t tell Bartemius about her being a half-blood either, and when his family became blood-traitors, he lied and said he went to hang out with pure-bloods.

James, Marlene, and Peter met in Elementary school when they all made it into the advanced class. James walked up to Peter, just like he did everyone in that class, but Peter was the first one to actually respond to him and laugh at that. Marlene has a feeling that Peter had a crush on him which is why he laughed in the first place. She even bets he still does, years later.

Peter, James, and Barty were always there for her when her family wasn’t. Even if they couldn’t make it in person, they still sent cards and presents. The last few years, though, they threw a party for her and surprised her with it. What’s different this year, she has a girlfriend. One she cares about very much and won’t let anyone hurt her.

Marlene is reading a book in her room when her door bursts open. “Surprise!” Peter, James, Barty, and Dorcas exclaim.

Marlene laughs from behind her book. “How did you get in here?”

“I stole a key from one of your brothers and put it back after duplicating it without him even noticing.”

“James!” Marlene laughs.

Dorcas smiles and walks up to her, pulling her up from the chair. “Come on, we have a surprise for you.” Dorcas leads her outside her bedroom door, and she gasps when she sees it. All her friends in her living room with a banner hanging over the doorway ‘Happy Birthday, Marls!’ it says.

She gasps once again when her brothers walk in the door with presents. “Guys,” She smiles.

“Happy birthday, baby sis.” Mason says hugging her.

Marlene smiles even wider when Maxwell, Mitchell, and Matthew come to hug her as well. “I love all of you, so much.” She whispers. “So much.” She whispers even quieter.

“We love you, too.”

“Alright, alright. Quit with the sappiness.” Barty says. “let’s get this party started!”

Evan walks up to her with a bottle of vodka in hand and gives it to her. “How did you get this?”

He lifts his finger to her mouth and says, “Shh. Don’t worry about it.” And walks away.

Marlene turns to Barty and was about to ask when he interrupted her. “Don’t worry about it.” And he walks away as well.

“They did something illegal, didn’t they?” She asks James.

James sighs. “Probably.”

Dorcas grabs her arm and pulls her to the makeshift dance floor. “Let’s dance.” Marlene laughs the whole night, and it doesn’t quite down until she’s fast asleep in her bed with Dorcas beside her.

In the morning Dorcas will wake up before her and make her breakfast in bed, to make up for her not being able to yesterday. And then they’ll fall asleep together again and again until school starts, and they’ll continue doing so until they have to go home for the summer and then they’ll do it all over again until they graduate and can wake up next to each other every day until the end of time.

[fictionalmen2]

Can we just lay here

Pairing: James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: You are on your period and in masses of pain but somehow your boyfriend just makes it all better.

—————————————————————————-

“You staying in bed today honey?” Your best friend Lily asks as she is currently getting ready for a Hogsmead trip that was planned with your group of friends.

Just the day before you had been hit with an unexpected visit from the period train. Unexpected because you had already had it once that month. You tended to have heavy and painful periods anyway but you could always seem to work through them without wallowing in bed. This time however was too painful to even get out of bed with cramps that seemed to radiate throughout your entire body.

“i think so yeah sorry” your weak voice called out from the semi comfortable position you had found in bed despite wriggling around all night.

“Don’t apologise babe! here is some pads and a bin as well as all the food you always hound me for” Marlene cuts in as she walks back into the shared dorm. She placed everything on the bedside table next to you and then moved to your other side to calmly stroke your hair knowing it helps you as well as her.

“You want us to get James?” Mary asks from laying on Lily’s bed. She has been patiently waiting for her girlfriend and one of her best friends to finish getting ready for about an hour and a half. She heard you moving around last night and noticed how long you were in the bathroom for, putting two and two together she knew you weren’t coming today.

“No no it’s ok you guys go and have fun!! Don’t worry about me but if u find yourself wanting to buy my a present feel free to act on that urge” You say to them as they all start to get up from positions on bed or in Lily’s case on the floor whilst finishing her hair. As much as all you want at that moment is your boyfriend, all of your friends are looking forward to a December walk around Hogsmead and you know James hasn’t been able to get out for a while due to Quiditch and so you don’t want to ruin this for them.

“Okay my darling love you”

“Feel better sunshine”

“i’ll get you something from ‘Dukes”

You hear a chorus of things being said but don’t actually see them leave as you have curled your blanket right around your head and moved into a tight fetus position.

———————————————————————-

“Fucking finally we have been waiting for you for decades”

“Calm down Sirius you impatient boy” Peter calls out to him as the boys heads swivel around to see the girls coming down the stairs. “we were barley waiting 10 minutes”

“Bloody feels like decades” Sirius mumbles under his breathe loudly but it earns him a wack on the shoulder from his boyfriend sat on the arm of the sofa next to him.

“You girls ready to go” James claps his hands together as he stands up out of the arm chair that Peter was sat in front of.

“Where’s y/n??” Remus voices and James does suddenly notice that you didn’t come down the stairs with the rest of the girls. To be honest he didn’t even notice the girls were down until Sirius started complaining.

“Bad period she is currently trying not to claw her uterus out upstairs” Marlene states openly which results in Lily giving her a harsh look and Mary giving her a soft hit to the back of her shoulder.

“She told us to go on though but buy her presents in return which i don’t think is a fair deal” Marlene carries on ignore the reprimands she got a second ago.

“Anyway moving on Marls” Lily announces when she sees the look of discomfort in the boys faces. “Periods aren’t disgusting assholes just painful so wipe that look off all your faces” she sternly says looking all of them in the eye so they know she means it.

“Hey you guys enjoy Hogsmead but i’m gunna makes sure she’s ok upstairs” James states to the group as he begins making his way through the group with an apologetic smile on his face but they all know he isn’t the least bit sorry about his choice.

“Give her a hug from me”

“try not to kill her”

“makes sure she’s comfortable”

James hears from his friends as he walks up the dormitory stairs but he doesn’t really listen all he takes into account his seeing you.

—————————————————————————-

You hear a soft knock on the door and you softly groan when u realise you have to get up to let them in.

You slowly move your legs out from under the duvet and wince slightly at the discomfort it brings you but you manage to make your way over to the door and trudge it open.

The person stood on the other side is an unexpected but warmly welcomed surprise when you are greeted by your boyfriend.

“Hi Jamie what are you doing here” you ask him with a horse and scratchy voice that makes him let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. Just hearing you in pain makes him uncomfortable and he just wants to do all that he can for you.

“Hiya love, i ditched the others and thought i’d come lay with you instead if that’s ok” he says walking into your dorm, a hand around you helping you manoeuvre back into your bed.

“You didn’t have to Jamie the girls gave me a care package earlier so i’m all set to wallow in my bed until i feel better” you state with a small smile trying to get comfortable again in bed which is proving hard until James climbs in as well. He shuffles close to you and pulls one of your legs over his and traces patterns on top of your pj bottoms you have on. His other arm goes around your shoulder which is also tracing patterns around any exposed skin you have. You sigh into him and lean your head on his shoulder feeling the most comfortable you’ve ever felt in that moment.

“I know, you all do one for each other every month it’s the best thing i’ve ever seen, but im here to make sure you aren’t lonely and just keep you comfortable” He kisses the top of your forehead and then rests his chin on your head which brings you a type of comfort you can begin to explain.

“Thank you Jamie, i needed this”

“You don’t need to thank me love, im your boyfriend i care about you all the time and i will always do this for you” He says softly as if he is trying to send you off to sleep and you aren’t ashamed to admit that it is working.

“Can i just lay here with you?” You sleepily ask through a light yawn. Your eyelids are getting much heavier and you have finally got comfortable and so are ready to catch up on the sleep you missed out on last night.

“You can do anything you want right now my love. I’ll be here when you wake up”

And with a final kiss to your forehead you are sent away into a deep slumber wrapped up in your living boyfriends arms.

The best place in the world.

[journal-69]

7/26/2024

12:55. Today is sunny, but it is not too hot. It is truly quite lovely. I think I will spend some time and go to a park or something once I eat. The plan is yet to be discovered.

This past month I think I've felt a little lost. I've been spending more time with friends, and less on my sexual escapades that took over my June. I've been quite tired and low energy but also been getting out of the house quite a bit, which I'm really glad I'm doing. I've felt tears looming behind my eyes and kinda feel like I'll cry at any moment. When I've been at my studio I haven't quite been able to motivate myself and overall it just feels like I'm not quite sure where to go. I think that finding a job again would help. Not something full time but just a way to make sure I can pay my bills, I think I'm debilitated by the lack of structure and the amount of time I have. Not that I think I have too much time but I think it has made it hard for me to actually get myself up and working on something. I've felt like I'm sleepy later and can never get enough.

I've also been trying to get back on making myself meals, as I've been kind of bad at that. Today I made a hash with toast and Avocado which was a nice way to start the day. I'm now of course sitting at my dining table writing this blog while listening to Laura Marling perform at the Royal Albert Hall in 2020. Here voice is beyond beautiful but I will say... I think she might be a reason I've been crying. lol

Beyond myself I've been worried for my mum. She seems to also be having a hard time and I just wish happiness for her, as she deserves everything and more beyond happiness.

(forgot to post, posting at 7:25 pm on July 28)

[voldemorts-tap-shoes]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite fellow Sagittarius Slytherclaw @adenei !! You are an amazing friend and beta, and I hope you have a fabulous day today!

Enjoy some Jily 🥳

Prank or No Prank

Lily stands on the platform, allowing herself to absorb every moment of the chaos. She’s about to board the scarlet steam engine for her last first day at Hogwarts, and she wants to commit every sight and sound to memory.

Her eyes scan the crowd of students for her friends, and for a glimpse of the gold Head Boy badge that matches her own. There wasn’t an obvious choice among the rising seventh-year prefects, but given Dumbledore’s less than subtle preference towards Gryffindor, she feels certain that she’ll be sharing the duties with Remus, which would suit her just fine. She and Remus work well together and have developed a genuine friendship over their two years together serving as prefects. She’ll be glad to have him by her side in this final, most challenging year.

It’s odd, though, that he hasn’t written to tell her the good news. Of course, he’s probably been occupied all summer with those troublemakers he calls friends. Lily scoffs. Who knows what sort of mischief the four of them managed to get into while school was out.

If she’s honest with herself, though, Remus’s friends aren’t so bad. James in particular has spent the last six years winding her up, but the fact that he knows her well enough to do so with such ease forces her to concede that maybe they’re her friends, too.

Not, of course, that she would ever admit that to Potter.

As if appearing directly from her thoughts, Lily spots James turning a corner and making a beeline for her. “Hey, Evans!” he calls to her when there is a distance of no less than three full train cars still between them.

Lily folds her arms across her chest as James skids to a stop in front of her and ruffles his already untidy hair. “What do you want, Potter?”

“Hey, now. That’s Head Boy Potter to you.” James flashes her a smile as he taps the gold badge pinned to his robes, and Lily rolls her eyes.

“So you stole Remus’s badge to trick me into thinking you had been made Head Boy?” Lily shakes her head. “And here I thought you might be through with pranks in our final year.”

James adopts an affronted look. “It’s not Remus’s badge,” he retorts. “It’s mine.”

“Ha, ha, Potter, very funny.”

“I’m serious. It came with my letter.”

Lily snorts as the train whistles out a warning to the students lingering on the platform. “Solid performance, Potter. You keep this up, you’ll have that Oscar in no time.” She turns away from him to grab her bag and head for the train.

“What’s an Oscar? Evans!” She hears his feet pounding as he follows her to the train, and he snags her elbow just before she can board. “Why is it so hard to believe I’m Head Boy?”

Lily raises an eyebrow at him. “Seriously, Potter? You weren’t even a Prefect, so how could you be Head Boy?” She scoffs and steps onto the train to look for Mary and Marlene, Potter trailing behind her the whole way. “The acting is top-notch, but the premise needs work.” She turns to face him and pats his shoulder as she locates her friends. “Better luck next time, though.”

She ignores his scowl as she settles into the compartment, and he waits only a moment before striding away down the corridor, presumably in search of his own friends. She’s sure they’ll have a good laugh over his failed attempt to pull a fast one on her.

***

The girls make good use of the train ride catching up on their summers and their hopes for the year. They know her well enough to know that once they arrive at school, Lily’s nose will be stuck to the grindstone until NEWTS, with no time for any of the more trivial topics of conversation currently dominating the compartment. It’s never been Lily’s cup of tea anyway, and if she has to listen to Marlene drone on anymore about how fit Sirius Black is, she may hurl.

“Maybe if you and James get together, you and Marls can double date with him and Sirius,” Mary teases as she pops a Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean into her mouth.

“Oh please,” Lily groans. “Like that’s ever going to happen.”

“I dunno, Lils.” Marlene holds her hand out to Mary, who obliges with a colourful handful of beans. “Close quarters in the Head suites, this might be the year he wears you down.”

“He is not Head Boy,” Lily insists. “How ridiculous.”

“He sure was flashing that badge around on the platform,” Mary counters. “And you know Remus; he’s not usually complicit in James’s pranks.”

Lily scoffs and checks her watch. “I have to go lead a Prefect meeting,” she says, standing up and straightening her robes. “And when I get back, I’ll be sure to tell you both what a great team Remus and I will make as Head Boy and Girl.”

Mary and Marlene snicker as she makes her exit. “Good luck,” Marlene calls after her in a sing-song voice.

It’s all Lily can do not to stomp down the train corridor to the carriage where the meeting will be held. Not even at school yet, and she’s already let James get under her skin. She takes a deep breath as she walks. She is now a leader at Hogwarts, and she needs to behave like one.

Much to her surprise, Lily is not the first one to the prefects’ compartment. “James Potter!��� she exclaims, sliding the door shut behind her with such force that the glass rattles. “Look, the thing with the badge was funny, okay? You got me. But this is too far. Where’s Remus, and why is he playing your little game?”

James stands to face her, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “It’s not a game,” he replies, his voice rising in irritation. “The badge is mine.”

“That’s rubbish, and you know it!” Lily shoots back. “I have a meeting to run. Some of us actually take our educational responsibilities seriously, so please, go so that I can focus.” She rubs at her temples, hoping desperately that she has some headache potion accessible in her bag and not buried at the bottom of her trunk.

“No,” James argues, “we have a meeting to run. I’ve been trying to tell you the truth since the platform, and you won’t listen.”

“Okay, I lied, this is actually not funny at all.” Lily narrows her eyes at him, but he meets her gaze without flinching. “I don’t know what sort of sick joy you get out of torturing others with your little jokes, but I will use every resource at my disposal as Head Girl to put a stop to your antics.”

“Actually, the Heads cannot discipline each other in any way, including but not limited to: assigning detention, revoking extracurricular privileges, or deducting house points for alleged misconduct.” Lily’s mouth drops open in shock as he recites the words verbatim from the handbook she received over the summer. He’s committed to the act, she has to give him that much credit. “But if you insist, I’d be happy to let you spank me,” he adds with a wink.

Lily fights off the sudden but insistent urge to silence the compartment and scream until her throat is raw. She is silent for several moments, wracking her brain for words that would suffice to explain how furious she is with him, when the compartment door slides open behind her. To her relief, the interruption is from none other than Professor McGonagall. “Oh, Professor, I’m so glad you’re here,” Lily gushes, ignoring the way James’s expression becomes even more smug at her entrance. “Would you please ask James to kindly return to his compartment so that we can get on with the Prefects’ meeting?”

Professor McGonagall purses her lips as she looks between the two of them. “Miss Evans, I presume you realize that it is customary for the Head Boy and Girl to run this meeting together?”

“Yes, of course, but…” Lily trails off and glances over her shoulder at James, who is grinning like the kneazle that ate the canary. “But James isn’t…I mean…he’s…” She turns back to McGonagall, who is watching her inability to form a complete sentence with a quizzical look. “Is he?” she finishes, her voice weak with shock.

“I realize Professor Dumbledore’s decision this year is a bit unorthodox,” the professor replies, “but to answer your question, yes. Mr. Potter is Head Boy.”

Lily feels the compartment swirl around her, and she takes a seat, covering her face and shaking her head. “Unorthodox?” she repeats in disbelief.

“I’ll delay the Prefects,” Professor McGonagall says, softening her usual firm tone. “To give you a moment to collect yourself. I didn’t realize it would be such a shock.”

“I tried to tell her,” James pipes up. Lily raises her head to glare at him, and their Head of House leaves them alone in the compartment once more.

“Either you somehow managed to get McGonagall in on this,” Lily begins, hoping that her words are true even as she realizes there’s no way that they are. “Or…”

James takes a seat beside her and swings an arm around her shoulder. She would normally have shrugged him off if she weren’t still frozen with shock, though her racing heart would indicate a different reason for her lack of rejection.

“Cheer up, Evans,” Potter says with a grin. “This year’s gonna be fun.”

[siriusmydeer]

ooo okay so a James Potter x reader soulmate au where they feel each others pain, and she has a suspicion he's her soulmate but it's confirmed when he falls off his broom, and she hates him being her soulmate because he's in love with lily, but he says that lily doesn't matter anymore blah blah, and she says she first thought it was him when he fell of a bench in the great hall or something after confessing his love for lily in front of the entire school (1)

‘all along that they were soulmates but she tells him its really inconsiderate for being so obvious about his love for lily when he knew he had a soulmate and he feels really guilty and tries to make it up for her and yeah fluff ending please :)’

the painful soulmate

james potter x fem!reader

summary: in a world where you can feel your soulmates pain; your soulmate happens to think someone else is his soulmate

word count: 2.2k

warning: swearing, mentions of verbally abusing someone, mentions of beating people up, injuries; falling in the air, cracked ribs, tripping, face planting. joking name calling, kissing, angst, soulmate au, insinuation of unrequited love, fluff ending

by the age of 16 you and every other witch along with wizard were given a particular... gift. you wouldn’t consider it a gift, more like your worse fucking nightmare but you could squeal and pretend to be all dainty and excited about meeting your soulmate.

i mean why not give someone a choice on who they wanted to love? this wasn’t a game of spin the bottle this was forever.

being the only female in your friend group, made all the boys amongst you ridiculously pry into your privacy. wanting to know who they had to verbally torture considering they would scoop up the ‘precious little baby-girl’ of the group.

coming directly from the drama queen himself; sirius black. it’s not like they could beat up your partner because you would be able to feel his or her pain as-well.

you were sat in the marauders dorm absently playing with your fingers while looking at each of your mates, sirius and remus attempted to finish their plans on a new prank for the newest defence against the dark arts teacher, james sat at his desk table writing up ways to ask lily more dramatically than the last and peter had been figuring out his transfiguration homework from a few days prior.

“prongs, if you know she’s gonna say no, then why ask?” remus questioned not even looked at the sapphire-eyed boy. his only logic being, ‘well ill turn her no into a yes.’ as if coercion was the way to go.

the brunette sat at the table swiftly turning his head in the lyncanthropes direction, his spectacles almost falling down his nose from the quick snap of his head. ��well, lily-pad has always said, ‘not in a million years!’ but that means after a million years she’d go out with me.” finishing his speech with a small grin.

the rest of the group on the other hand looked at him dumbfounded. eyebrows either scrunched or furrowed, “james m’afraid that’s not how it works.” you spoke, trying to ease his feelings as if your words could stop his incessant pining.

“well, i’ll just make it work!” turning around and continuing his list, speaking as if he was godric gryffindor coming up with the best idea of the century. “ten galleons she says no again.” sirius quickly whispers in peters direction, the dirty blonde haired boy doing a quick nod then looking back at his parchment.

“i heard that!”

the next time there was a ramble of soulmate talk, which by the way you were getting exhausted from. why did everyone have to have a soulmate? why couldn’t you pick from your own free will? it’s not even like you could have a bloody crush because there was already someone supposedly out there for you!

one free period, ONE! and it’s spent over peter narrowing down his options on all the gryffindor girls he might be paired with. “it’s definitely not marls, peter.” sirius’ pearl irises glanced at peter than over to remus who was trying to teach you how to play wizards chess.

“moony, not to be offensive, but this game sucks arse.” you shrugged, glaring at your queen piece that looked like it wanted to yell at you. as you were twisting around the wood of your pieces, james got up from the bench catching a glimpse of red among the ravenclaw students. instead tripping on the stone of the bench and face planting into the freshly cut grass.

you felt a soreness at the fronts of your calves and an immense discomfort on your face. you grimaced while rubbing your knees trying to soothe the random shoot of exertion through your veins to the point where you almost had the urge to groan.

james quickly scrambled to his feet trying to brush out his hair that had sprinkles of green all over the front, you completely ignored the fact that james’ fall broken by the stone of the bench had caused you to have a twinge of pain into your system.

“none of you saw that.” he panted with slight embarrassment, directing his message to sirius who had his hand clenched into a fist over his lips attempting to cover up the small chortles that were threatening to escape his lips.

“don’t worry, we saw nothing.” you confirmed with an amused grin, putting your two fingers over your lips like a seal.

he grinned back at you twice as hard, your heart starting more of an upbeat frequency that you started to notice as he sat beside you moving a piece that could ruin remus’ chance at winning.

“you slimy git! you’re helping her cheat, you little slag!” remus whined, trying to analyze the board again.

after your recovery, from absolutely nothing. you were sprawled on the scarlet-couch waiting for the rest of your friends to come back from detention. you dazed into a book remus had recently given to you, an icepack laying on your foot as you were almost hypnotized by the pride and prejudice book in your hands.

“oi, m’lady!” sirius abruptly shouted while returning to his common room. you jumped from the stentorian voice, that sunk into the now not-solemn and peaceful common room.

you turned your head seeing the bespectacled boy limp onto the other vermillion couch and rest his leg onto the plush of the pillow, meanwhile, the fawn and dirty blonde haired boys sat in the gryffindor-red love seats tired from their detention.

“what’s wrong with him?” you asked, referring to james’ leg that was propped under the pillow.

“we don’t know, we were walking and he just picked up his foot in agony. who knows maybe lily stubbed her toe.” sirius amused to the rest of the group. but your eyes widened in concern, but you had— there’s absolutely and completely no way. more than one person can stub their toe in one day, not just— just one person.

almost like you were in a daze or hypnotized, as stealth as possible you grabbed the maroon coloured blanket that was rested on the arm rest of the couch you spread it over your legs covering the foot; that you had injured previously that day.

what the fuck. no seriously, what the fuck. there wasn’t— there couldn’t even be— that wouldn’t work. it’s not possible. the butterflies, the flushed face, the nervous ticks— fuck.

over the course of the next few days, you were very careful. you could’ve been mary friggin’ poppins i mean you didn’t want him to get suspicious if you were both injured at the same time. you also did not want to know if he— the boy pining over lily fucking evans since first year was possibly— no there’s no way.

the following week there was a slytherin and gryffindor quidditch game. which also happened to be incredibly nerve wracking not only for you but between both houses, as much as slytherin wanted to seem nonchalant there act was simply not going to work. this determined who would be playing in the quidditch house cup, slytherins also happened to not play the fairest in quidditch so extra gryffindor training was keen.

well now that following week, was today. the game was fine, great even. gryffindor was in the lead and james was about to score a quaffle in the hoop, that was until slytherin beater decided to bat a bludger right into james torso causing him to collapse off his broom twenty five feet into the air with nothing to break his fall. at the reflect of the bludger on james ribs you already groaned hunched over into your seat catches the attention of both peter and sirius.

dumbledore did all the spells he could in such a swiftly manner before james skidded on the muddy grass of the pitch. by then you couldn’t even hold in the moans and groans from his affliction with the hard iron bludger and the fall from the air.

both peter and sirius’ eyes widened and shared a look before taking concern to your arching figure. “m’god i didn’t think it hurt that bad!” you groaned into your hands that could almost be seen as trembling from the agony that you were in as james’ team mates brought him down to the infirmary to check for injuries which he did in-fact have.

after sirius had brought you to your dorm, attempting to do a spell to rid you of most-but not all of your pain he raced to healers wing, seeing james on the verge of unconsciousness as madam pomfrey tried to whip up a potion in a fast manner to heal the boy.

i guess it was true— james was your soulmate. your soulmate in love with another woman that is.

a few hours later james was ordered to stay the night for observation, while both sirius and peter decided to catch up remus along with james up on the other ‘things’ more, or less, that occurred during the quidditch match.

him, and lily.... weren’t soulmates? he thought maybe one day they would’ve ended up together, at some point. not his very best friend being the one he’s ‘destined’ with. but he was desperate to speak with you, how did you know? did you even know? how bad did it hurt? he had so many questions scattered around his brain, until he saw your face that was close to a grimace from pain.

“hi.” you whispered, catching his attention.

“hey.” he whispered back hoarsely, gulping at the sudden tension in the room.

“so we’re—“ “you’re my—“ you both spoke at the same time, following an humourless more-so nervous chuckle, from the both of you.

“how long— did you even know?” james started, looking at your figure as if you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

you sat down nervously, cracking your knuckles as you were unsure where to start. “i thought— i started wondering, that day me and rem were playing chess and you fell.” you cleared your throat while speaking, avoiding eye contact entirely. “my knees started to hurt, but i didn’t even notice it. the day that you came into the common room limping, was when i suspected it.” you wrung your fingers together nervously, then looking into his irises.

“you knew? why didn’t you—“ his anger already starting to get the best of him, you knew that you were his soulmate. you were right in-front of him, but you never told him; he almost felt betrayed.

“i didn’t know! only suspected. but you have to understand, james. you were incessantly pinning after lily, you claimed you were ‘in love with her’. you’re making it seem like it was gonna be so easy for me to tell you that ‘guess what, james! the girl you love actually isn’t your soulmate and it’s your best friend you have no interest in!’ prongs, m’fraud s’not that easy.” you mocked, proving your correct argument to him based on his actions.

he took a shaky breath, analyzing basically his whole life in-front of him. even though he might’ve ‘loved’ lily, you were still more important to him. soulmate or not, he would always go to you first. he could barely stand to fight with you, he couldn’t loose you over some silly crush that he had.

“it doesn’t matter— lily— she doesn’t matter. y/n it’s you, soulmate, not soulmate, who cares! lily or not lily, you’ve always been my go-to, my number one, i mean you’ve always been the most important!” he said drastically while punctuating his words, and flailing his arms in the air to prove his point to you.

you sighed looking at him, almost unsure of his words. he looked at you expectantly before speaking again, “i’ll get on my knees right now and beg to you. with broken— well now bruised but priory broken ribs. not to mention my stubbed toe.” he chuckled at last second trying to humour you.

“oh my g— get up!” you snickered at him, james potter was on his knees fighting all the pride in his system right in-front of you where you were sat. his hands grasped both sides of your thighs trying to soothe you into you forgiving him.

at the sight of him right infront of you, with the best sirius black puppy dog eyes he could muster with a pouted lip you immediately gave in. “fine.” you sighed, “fine, fine, fine.” you giggled.

both of his hands encasing your cheeks, a small pout on your lips. “can i kiss you?” he asked, his elbows resting on your thighs. you looked at him pretending to ponder off in thought; shrugging while you spoke, “hmmm, maybe. i gues—“ he quickly cut you off, kissing your pouted lips in the middle of a sentence.

you kissed back, holding his face between your agile fingers. your right hand resting on his squared jaw and the other in his fluffy and borderline-sweaty hair. your lips slotting together, he could feel the mint taste from the gum you have chewed earlier bleed onto his tastebuds; you on the other hand, not such a memorable taste.

you quickly pulled away, a dramatic whine escaping from his throat. “you remember when you face planted into the dirt earlier?” you giggled while asking him. he looked at you confused; why would... you... be asking if he remembered himself falling?

“erm, yeah i can recall.”

“yeah your mouth tastes like dirt.”

taglist: @fathermarty @kittykylax @ronweasleyluvr @aspiringsloth20 @dear-luna @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

if your username is crossed out that means you gave me the wrong username or your settings for public display tags are off!

[spxllcxstxr]

Bumps and Bruises • M.M

(GIF is not mine)

Request: Hi! Sorry, May I ask for a Marlene McKinnon x fem!/gn! reader fic, Soulmate AU where they feel each other's pain. — anon

Summary: Two Quidditch rivals finding out they’re something...more (Soulmate AU)

Warnings: Mentions of food/eating, injury description, brief mention of blood

Word Count: ~2k

A.N: NonGryffindor!Reader, this is my first time doing a Soulmate AU so I hope this is ok! It’s hard to find a balance between Soulmate AU and normal AU, but I’m sure I’ll get better with it in practice! The ending is kinda iffy imo, but it’s not terrible. Hope you enjoy!

****

The first thing you feel when you wake up on Friday morning is a flare up of painful throbbing blossoming across the outer part of your right thigh.

You groan, prying your eyes open and pull back your blanket.

The pale light filtering through your curtains is enough to see the grotesque purpling of swollen skin. You poke and prod at your thigh, occasionally hissing out in agony.

The bruise is both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

Its circular shape is something you see all the time. As a Beater on your Quidditch team, Bludger bruises were commonplace. The issue is, and this is where the mark becomes unfamiliar to you, when you went to sleep last night, there was no evidence of any such mark.

This was peculiar because you never had a history of sleep Quidditch, and you’re sure that if you got up in the middle of the night in a trance, at least one of your dorm mates would’ve told you.

And this certainly wasn’t some accidental hitting your bed frame sort of injury. This was ten inches in diameter, black and blue like a ball of pure iron slammed into you. As a self proclaimed Quidditch expert, you’re fully aware of what caused this.

But this conclusion brings up more questions than answers. Sure, you had practice after classes yesterday, but you would remember being hit full force—and you don’t.

But you have no time to sit and ponder over this mystery, you have to make it down for breakfast and then endure hours of classes. If only you could skip ahead to tomorrow’s match against Gryffindor.

You limp your way through the dorm, unable to put the usual amount of weight on your right leg. The room is empty, save for Bedelia, who, as usual, is still snoring underneath her blanket. On your way out, you make sure to wake her up by slamming the door shut as hard as you can.

Hobbling down to the Great Hall with a bag of heavy books slung over your shoulder is no easy feat even when it’s something that constantly happens.

The Great Hall is buzzing, though most of the noise is coming from the Gryffindor table.

The ceiling reflects the morning, bright blue and not a cloud in sight.

By the looks of it, the Gryffindor Quidditch team just got back from their morning practice, still panting and sweaty. For the entire week leading up to a match, James Potter, their captain, makes them practice and go through relentless drills in preparation. When they’re not on the pitch, he’s quizzing them on maneuvers. You’re lucky that your captain and fellow Beater, Morgana Sharpe, gives you the day before a match off, mostly to rest and review. If Potter was your captain he would’ve ended up in St. Mungo’s by now.

Your eyes wander over to Marlene McKinnon, her blonde hair up in a bun, face red and splotchy from practice, bare arms showing off muscle. Her chest heaves under her scarlet top.

“Practicing getting your arses handed to you?” You joke, leaning against their table.

Marlene scoffs. “Oh, you wish.”

Her deep brown eyes find yours, a troublesome twinkle shining through.

“Focus, Marlene, can’t have you fraternizing with the enemy!” James laughs out between mouthfuls of eggs.

“More like flirting with the enemy.” Sirius snorts, leaning closer to Remus, who chuckles into his glass.

“Oi! Piss off, Black!” Marlene snaps, the red on her face spreading.

Dorcas squeezes in next to her, dittany in hand. “How’s the leg, Marls?”

“Aw.” You pout. “Did McKinnon get a boo boo during practice?”

She scowls at you. “Don’t you have a potion to blow up?”

You clench your jaw and ball your hand into a fist. She’s got a point.

“Alright, enough trash talk, you two, leave it for the pitch.” James rolls his eyes.

Instantly, a weight lifts from your shoulders.

“I gotta go eat, anyway.” You smile warmly at your sort of friends. “So I’ll see you guys in class.” You wave before turning to your own table.

You join the rest of your team the table, squeezing through the tight huddle. Parchment is scattered all over the surface, some with crude drawings of maneuvers, some with written stats.

“Right, now that we’re all here,” Sharpe grunts our in her thick Irish accent, shooting you a disgruntled look. “We have a change of plans.”

“Change of plans?” Webb, one of your Chasers, asks. He looks up from his diagram, eyebrows raised.

“Greene’s soulmate took a tumble and landed him in the hospital wing. Can’t play tomorrow’s match.” She scowls, drawing clenched tightly on her hand.

“Again?” Your team groans.

Rupert Greene spends more time in the hospital wing due to his soulmate’s clumsiness than from playing a dangerous magical sport. That’s the way it’s been for the four years you’ve known him, and you have a hunch that it’ll never change.

“So we’re gonna have to put in Knight? Against Gryffindor?” Webb cries out, eyes wide. “No offense, but he isn’t ready to take on those pricks!”

Sharpe runs a hand through her dark brown hair. “Well, I guess we all just need to pray to Merlin some Gryffindor gets knocked off their broom.” She sighs.

The news of Knight replacing Greene for the match against Gryffindor puts you in a sour mood, making the bruise on your thigh throb more painfully.

You march through the corridors, face contorted in a permanent frown, barely paying attention to your lessons. You do, however, manage to keep your potion from exploding, which Slughorn is thrilled about. Match notes and plays take over your free time, pushing all your homework to Sunday, quickly deciding that this match is far too important. Marlene sticks her tongue out at you whenever she gets the chance as she hobbles through the corridors or looks away from Flitwick in your shared Charms class.

Sharpe drags you and the rest of the team up to bed at nine, lecturing you all about a good night’s rest. You roll your eyes, but you do only spend half an hour studying moves before heading to bed.

You wake up jittery.

You’re always nervous the morning of normal Quidditch matches, but this isn’t a normal Quidditch match. Gryffindor has gone undefeated for the entire season so far, and you just need to beat them. You crave to watch the smug look fall from James’ face and the cocky attitude that Sirius is infamous for crumble. You want to win. At the same time, though, you’re hesitant to see the frown on Marlene’s face. Those perfect lips deserve to shaped in a perfect smile.

Your bruise isn’t as irritated as yesterday. It’s still black and blue, but you really need to dig your thumb into it for it to hurt.

You stretch, listening to your joints pop before strutting down to the Great Hall to join the rest of your team.

Taking a deep breath before making your way through the threshold, you try your best to calm down and radiate confidence. You crack your knuckles and make your way to your table.

Marlene throws you a playful glare across the room, which you teasingly reciprocate.

Breakfast is a quiet affair for your group. Feet tap impatiently against the stone, nervous habits running wild.

The weather is perfect for Quidditch. There’s a slight breeze and a couple fluffy white clouds drifting through the blue sky, providing the occasional blotch of shade. It reassures you and calms you down on your walk down.

Sharpe gives her usual pep talk in the locker rooms. It’s all about blood, guts, and glory, and how we better not mess this up for her or else “she’ll haunt us from the great beyond.” Knight is white as a sheet, trembling underneath his robes.

The crowd roars out from the stands just above, your cue to make your grand entrance. Brooms are taken off their positions in the wall and in a single filed line, you all follow Sharpe out onto the pitch.

“And here it is, everybody,” Remus’ voice calls out over the chaos. “Captain Sharpe, (Y/Ln), Webb, Byrne, Spade, Opal, and their reserve, Knight!”

Your house cheers louder at your introduction, your eardrums pounding. You smile and nod at the crowd, excitement bubbling up inside of you.

“While the two captains are taking positions and shaking hands,” You hear as you mount your broom, Potter and Sharpe facing each other. “I have been paid quite a significant amount to say that according to James Potter, Lily Evans looks absolutely gorgeous today—“

“That has nothing to do with the match, Lupin!” McGonagall cries.

“Godric, Minnie. I’m just doing some adverts, it’s all good. No need to—“

A large thwack echos throughout the pitch, but you’re too wrapped up in Hooch blowing the whistle.

Quickly, you soar up in the air, Beater’s bat in one hand, chasing after your teammates to defend them.

You barely hear Remus over the whistling of the wind and your own grunts.

You watch Marlene laugh after she bats a Bludger away from James, the bat giving off a wicked crack. You’re momentarily mesmerized by her figure. How her tongue peeks out in concentration and her ponytail bounces wildly in the wind.

A moment passes and your arm erupts in pain, and to add onto that, you’re hurtling towards the grass.

You clutch your arm and brace for impact, breath being forcibly ripped from your lungs. Tears well in your eyes from both the pain and the air lashing against your body. Your Quidditch robes flap wildly behind you.

The landing, however, isn’t that bad. You end up in the grass, your bad arm protected. You assume Dumbledore is the one to thank.

You let out strangled pants, sky spinning around you, a piercing whistle sharp against your ears. Your arm screams in agony.

“(Y/Ln)!” Sharpe calls out, broom clutched in one hand. “You alright?” Her face shines with sweat.

“Bloody hell, she’s got quite the swing.” You groan, face contorting in anguish.

In the corner of your rotating vision, you watch red and gold blurs crowding around someone else.

Madam Hooch and the rest of your teammates are talking, but you can’t understand a word they’re saying.

Tendrils of black fog enter your vision and suddenly you’re out cold.

You recognize the hospital wing bed immediately. It’s firm, but not unbearable, the white cotton sheets rubbing against any exposed skin.

“So (Y/Ln) and McKinnon, eh?”

It’s garbled and you’re unable to place the voice, but it’s understandable.

“What’s this ‘bout me and McKinnon?” You manage to slur out, eyes blinking open, the figures above you blurry.

The world gradually clears itself up, your teammates surrounding your bed. Your left arm is wrapped tightly to your chest with a white cotton sling. The pain is dull, but it’s the most noticeable feeling present.

“Ah, well...” Webb scratches the back of his neck, averting his eyes.

“They’re talking about how I finally felt my own strength.”

Slowly, you turn your head to see Marlene sitting up on her bed, carefully watching over you. Her friends surround her, knowing smirks gracing their faces.

Her blonde hair is a bit of a tangled mess from the wind, but her smile is blinding in the light.

“You mean...” Your eyes widen in shock.

Marlene nods her head. “Soulmates.”

You bite your lip in response.

“I mean, it was pretty obvious, wasn’t it?” Sirius asks, looking between his friends for approval. “They literally wake up covered in bruises after like every Quidditch match!”

“Shut up, Pads!” Remus hisses, smacking him on the leg. “They’re having a moment.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and holds his hands up in mock surrender.

Your eyes drift to your thigh where the mysterious bruise was.

“I’m guessing you got hit by a Bludger during practice?” You ask.

“And you’re the one that gave me that broken bloody nose during detention!” Marlene exclaims.

You nod shyly, remembering when Knight accidentally threw the Quaffle at your face during a late night practice.

“Are we really that bloody stupid?” You laugh.

“You want a real answer or...?” James starts, repositioning his glasses.

Marlene shoves James off her bed, and he yelps before ungracefully tumbling to the floor with a crash.

“Guess this is our cue to leave the two stupid lovebirds alone.” Lily giggles before patting her friend on the back and leaving, the Marauders and your own team trailing close behind her.

Because the bones in your arm are practically shattered, you’re confined to the hospital wing for at least another day, but with Marlene at your bedside, it’s been made bearable. You talk about all those mysterious injuries you’ve acquired over the many years and learn the extent of your idiocy.

With various bumps and bruises to match, at the end of the day, the two of you are much more than Quidditch rivals.

[satanisnotapogostick]

sam playlist liner notes

1. jesse got trapped in a coal mine – goodnight, texas

dean picking sam up from stanford in the pilot: jesse getting trapped in the coal mine

(he never DID marry his girl)

2. me and bobby mcgee – kris kristofferson

to me, me and bobby mcgee is about when sam runs away from dean and hangs out with meg before she outs herself as a demon

3. dorothy - mewithoutYou

“one turned into sr. Margaret, and I said "if you can change your shape that easily can you take the form of my dead father?”… then last night I was somewhere near virginia rebuking satan with ironic faithfulness. and satan turned to me: have you thought much about that cry?"

lucifer AND john themes???? yes.

4. life during wartime – talking heads

this song is sam adjusting to being a hunter and being at war, where he’ll stay for the rest of his life <3

5. this is how we do things in the country – slim cessna’s auto club

ok so this song is about sam killing madison. when you murder the girl you’re sweet on but it’s righteous and everyone thanks you for it. this is how it’s always been! this is how we do things in the country! (and also getting amy killed, a little bit, but that hasn’t happened yet. this is still early seasons)

6. clampdown – the clamp

“the voices in your head are calling. stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming, only a fool would think someone could save you… but you grow up and you calm down, and you're working for the clampdown.”

damn maybe we’re not the good guys. anyway!!

7. smith & jones forever – silver jews

smith & jones (salmondean) together!! forever!!

8. everything you did – steely dan

oh bro you slutted around with a demon and let satan out. what have you done

9. tortoises all the way down - mewithoutYou

“everybody knows, son. everybody knows what you've done!!”

just crazyass guilt song

10. up jumped the devil – nick cave

the tiger. he destroyed his cage. yes. YES. the tiger is out.

11. (ghost) riders in the sky – marty robbins

“then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride. tryin’ to catch the devil herd across these endless skies”

just s5 endless chase vibes

12. needle in the hay – elliott smith

demon blood detox time baby

13. emperor – mark lanegan

“why can’t I get right? all these demons to enslave me. who’s left to fight? oh, just the emperor.” the emperor being lucifer. obviously.

14. skating away (on the thin ice of a new day) – jethro tull

they have the horseman rings!! sam’s about to jump into the cage!! your world is about to end, but it’s okay!! you’ve done it!!

15. the passenger – iggy pop

and lol now he’s possessed by lucifer

16. the mercy seat – nick cave

okay now we’re at stull and he’s REALLY going to the gallows (jumping in)

17. when you die - MGMT

I imagine this song happening during the fall itself from stull into the cage. honestly this is a weaker entry but like. haha tfw you die

18. fifteen feet of pure white snow – nick cave

thee cage song.

“I waved to my neighbot, my neighbor waved to me. but my neighbor is my enemy. I kept waving my arms til I could not see, under fifteen feet of pure white snow. is anyone out there please? it’s too quiet in here and I’ve beginning to freeze. I’ve got icicles hanging from my knees, under fifteen feet of pure white snow”

you’ve even got icy temperature themes!

19. loverman – nick cave

yeah <3

“there’s a devil waiting outside your door (how much longer?) there’s a devil waiting outside your door and he’s bucking and braying and pawing at the floor and he’s howling with pain and crawling up the walls…. loverman!!! till the bitter end!!! while empires burn down forever and ever and ever and ever amen”

nick cave count: 4

20. satan it’s you – jett screams

@polishnatural recommendation. cellmates (and bunk buddies) with the devil in hell type vibes

21. relax, take it easy - mika

the war has already been won and nothing that happens in here has any effect on the real world. why not relax into the simplicity of it all!! (sometimes it’s just better when things are bad type vibes)

22. don’t lose your temper - xtc

we’re out of the cage! and starting strong with a mocking song bc he already lost his temper and grew mild and that’s why he’s too tired to fight. so this is the only hallucifer era song on the playlist

23. first wave intact – secret machines

war metaphors. extended wars. unwinnable wars.

“I wonder what you're waiting for. I wonder what you're working for. I wonder what you're living for. I wonder what you're dying for”

same king

24. mexican war streets - mewithoutYou

“but how long before our tails are caught by our "free" thought?” INDEED

“nature had another plan (& failed to run it by me!) nature had another plan, some other surrogate self to live in the sediment of so many somebody elses' innumerable lives and you were right: it's not a person who dies but worlds die inside us”

SO TRUE. we’re fully breaking into late seasons here

mwY count: 3

25. screen shot - swans

these are all sam’s meditation mantras. he’s offering a course: how to become okay with really horrible situations that you are also complicit in. “love! now! breathe! now! love! now! breathe! now!”

26. god’s away on business – tom waits

IT WASN’T GOD IN YOUR HEAD SAM

27. when the lights come on – they might be giants

when the lights come on (when lucifer brings you back to life)

28. light’s on

TWO songs about sam’s resurrection at lucifer’s hands??? yeah ;)

“the lights are on, you don’t know just who your friends are. the lights are on, and it’s light you’ll never know”

29. devil’s resting place – laura marling

I mean. yeah. his time in the cage with the devil coming back to haunt him

30. failure - swans

see my edit that I won’t link bc I can’t find. but anyway yeah. this guy fails a lot

31. last song about satan – slim cessna’s auto club

ding dong the devil is dead!!

32. president – max frost

@girlkingsam recommendation. late seasons sam vibes for sure. plus this song can be read as being about hell politics which is fun. I don’t give a damn who’s president (of hell)!

33. the road goes on forever – the highwayen

cycles of violence, etc. the road goes on forever, nothing ever (really) changes. (also yes sonny is dean and sherry is sam. I guess)

34. careers in combat – parquet courts

the namesake of my little fanfiction.

“there are no more summer lifeguard jobs, there are no more art museums to guard. the lab is out of white lab coats cause there are no more slides and microscopes. but there are still careers in combat my son!!!”

king of hell ending please please you’re nothing. anyway he’s been at war his whole life and war is his legacy. anyway.

[looneywrites]

cause you have a bad day, you’re taking one down..

Jilytober 2021 prompt fill for @jilytoberfest. Find this on AO3.

16) Having a bad day (and one final thing causes them to break)

Lily trudged her way to the Great Hall one pale April morning, bleary eyed and exhausted. She had stayed up until 3:00 am finishing up an Arithmancy paper that she had to completely redo because her shithead partner, Smith, had completely messed it up. She rubbed her eyes and hiked her shoulder bag tighter, as she and the rest of her mates made their way to their usual seat near the end of the Gryffindor table.

Sitting down and pouring herself a cup of tea, Lily put her head in her hand and forced herself to eat some toast. Next to her, Marlene groaned with feeling, stretching a hand out for the eggs. Mary took pity on her and passed it to her, which Marlene took gratefully.

“Fucking Potter had us running the Solomon drills for an hour after practice this morning. I swear, the closer we get to the final, the crazier he gets,” the dark haired girl complained.

Mary smirked, a fork poised daintily over her plate, “I thought you were sore from a late night with Jack.”

“Ha, I wish! No, Jack is too busy prepping for NEWTs to have some fun with me. Maybe I’ll steal him away this weekend– what do you think, Lily? Lily? LILY!”

Lily jolted awake at a rough shove from Marlene, tea sloshing in its cup.

“What.”

“Don’t glare at me princess. I told you to just skip potions this morning— Slughorn loves you and would easily excuse your absence. Now you’re gonna be sleepy the whole day.”

Lily rubbed her face, “I can’t skip today Marls, we’re going over healing potions today. I’ll be fine.” She chugged down her tea and quickly refilled it.

As Lily ate her lackluster break, there was a burst of noise near them. She squinted over at the sixth year boys, who seemed to have started a game throwing bits of bacon in each other’s mouths. She rolled her eyes when Marlene shouted something at Potter and Black, causing them to look over.

The tall boys got up and walked over to them, and Black slapped her on the back, one hand roguishly pushing back his silky black hair.

“Alright, Red? There a reason you look like a hungover hag this morning? Are you trying out a new look?”

She slapped his arm away and glared at the tosser, as Potter settled down next to Mary. “Go jump in a well Black. I’m not in the mood.”

“Are you okay, Evans?” Potter asked gently. She sent a baleful eye at him, letting Mary explain her mood. At a screech overhead, Lily looked up to see the morning post fly in. She raised her eyebrows in surprise when a regular post owl landed in front of her. She took the proffered letter, and let the owl take a bite of bacon before flying off.

Lily looked at the muggle envelope and her name written in her sister’s pristine handwriting, and felt something sink to the bottom of her stomach. Her sister had never once written to her in her six years of Hogwarts. For her to send a letter now…

She opened the envelope slowly and read its contents with a blank face. She put it down after a moment, hands shaking, before tucking it away in her bag and stood. She told the girls she’d meet them in class and fled the hall. Behind her, there was a faint shout of her name, but Lily ignored it as her eyes welled with tears.

She should have stayed in bed.

Lily made her way through her classes for the rest of the day with no real awareness. She would have sliced her finger off in Potions if Mary hadn’t stopped her in time. In Arithmancy, she simply ignored the wanker Smith when he tried to apologize for his mistake, and then spent her lunch break in the library.

When Transfiguration rolled around, her friends had grown increasingly worried over her behavior. Mary tried suggesting she go back to the dorms, while Marlene attempted to cheer up with her usual dry sarcasm. Lily just put her head down and did her best to follow McGonagall’s lecture. When the professor passed back their essays from the previous week, she automatically went to put the parchment in her bag, when her eyes caught on the score.

Poor

She had failed? The essay that had taken her practically the entire week to complete– she had failed it?! Lily stared at the parchment, then feeling a tap on her shoulder, abruptly stood.

“Miss Evans? Did you need something?”

Lily stood there, the class’ eyes on eye which she could hardly feel over the swell of emotion in her throat. Her hands shook where they tightly gripped her essay. She faintly heard Mary speak a quick excuse to Professor McGonagall, and when Marlene tried to tug her down to her seat, Lily shrugged it off. Scrunching up the parchment, she fled the room before she could scream, pushing past other students in the hallways.

Lily burst through the entrance hall doors, tears streaming down her face, and ran down to the beech tree by the lake. She curled up against the tree and sobbed into her knees. Her body shook with the force of her tears, her auburn hair falling to cover her face. Heaving in a breath, she pulled the letter from Petunia out of her front pocket and unfolded it.

Dear Lily,

I am writing to inform you that our father suffered a heart attack early Tuesday morning. He spent two nights in the hospital, but unfortunately his condition only worsened over time. He passed away at 13:42 pm on Thursday.

Mother is understandably distraught, so I have taken over the arrangements for his funeral. I have selected the Davidson’s Funeral Home upon Vernon’s suggestion, and we will bury father on Monday at 10:00 am.

Hopefully, your school will allow you to leave and come home.

Sincerely,

Petunia Evans

Lily scoffed silently, and threw the letter next to her crumbled up essay. She buried her head on her knees again, and sat there, a cool breeze brushing over her. She wasn’t aware of how much time had passed when she suddenly heard her name called softly. Lifting her head, Lily saw James Potter approaching her tentatively, her school bag over his shoulder. She wiped her tears away, and turned to face the lake. After a moment’s hesitation, he sat down next to her, long legs folding beneath him.

They both just sat on the soft grass silently, as Lily’s heart slowed its frantic beat. She cleared her throat and hoarsely asked him what he was doing here.

“I’m here for you. Whatever you need— silence, a shoulder to cry on, hell, even if you just want to yell and vent,” he replied simply.

She choked out a laugh, “I definitely want to yell, but I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll just start crying again.” She sniffed, and after a few useless pats against her uniform, she accepted the proffered handkerchief from James.

“Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?” She remained silent so he continued. “I know you were really tired this morning, and Remus told me Smith didn’t do anything too prattish in Arithmancy. If I were to wager, I’d say that the letter you got this morning upset you. You left the hall rather suddenly after you read it.”

“Excellent deduction, Sherlock,” she mumbled.

“Lily.”

“Ugh, fine, here,” she thrust the letter at him and buried her head back in her knees. James took the paper and read it silently, before placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, Lily. I’m so sorry.” She hummed and he squeezed her shoulder. “Was your dad sick?”

“No, but he had a health scare a couple of years ago and was supposed to take it easier. He was so stubborn, you know? My mom would pester him every week to shorten his hours at the factory, but he would just outright refuse. Said that ‘he had a job to do and a family to support,’ —never mind caring how that would affect his health,” scrubbing her eyes angrily.

“And now he’s gone and I’ll never get a chance to say goodbye or hug him one last time—!” She burst into tears again, and James wrapped his arm around her. Lily leaned into him, trying desperately to stop her tears with the handkerchief. She glanced at the letter in his left hand, and grabbed it sharply.

“Look at this shit. ‘I am writing to inform you that Father passed—‘ I mean, what am I, her secretary? I’m her bloody sister and this is how she chooses to tell me our dad died?!” She crumbled up the paper and threw it with a short scream.

“And to add insult to injury, she just decides to use the most expensive funeral service in Cokesworth, simply because her stupid fiancé recommended it? I mean, I want the best for our dad too, but bloody hell, a cheaper service wouldn’t have made much of a difference. But no, the local undertakers are not posh enough for Tuney. What would darling Vernon think of her? The horror,” Lily spat, gesturing furiously.

James listened dutifully, his hand rubbing small circles on her arm. She could feel his hazel eyes watching her carefully, and swiped her face with her robe.

“And I can’t go home because our Transfiguration test is on Monday and I can’t afford to skip it. And I’m so tired but I can’t even take a break today because I have patrol tonight and I still haven’t finished my essays for Potions and Defense. And now I’ll have to redo my essay for McGonagall and I don’t even understand what I don’t understand and my sister hates me so much she scheduled the funeral on a school day and my mum has been battling cancer and this will just set her recovery back and—!”

James hugged her tighter against his warm body as she burst into fresh tears.

“Hey, c’mon Lily, you’ll get through this.” She shook her head and he shushed her, insisting, “yes, Lily, you will. I know you’re grieving and this pain will be with you for a while. But with time, it’ll get easier. And as for school stuff, you really think you have to handle all of it by yourself?”

She looked up at him, and he gently wiped a tear away.

“You patrol with the Ravenclaw prefect tonight, right? I’ll ask Remus to cover for you, and you know he will because he’s your friend, Evans. And I’ll help you go over your essay and study for the test, but we’ll also go to McGonagall and get you to take the test on another day. And tonight, you’ll go to bed early and get some rest, okay?”

Lily sniffed, green eyes puffed and face pale, and let James gently smooth the wrinkles out of her letter and essay before handing both to her. He lifted her chin with one finger, and gave her a stern look.

“You will be okay Lily Evans. And you will get through this. You have so many people who will support you: Marlene, Mary, Remus, Sirius and Peter, and me. We’ll all be here for you, no matter what.”

She gazed up at this boy, hazel eyes turned golden in the sunlight, and felt a pang in her heart at his kindness. Lily nodded to him, and watched as James settled back against the tree, pulling her to lean against him. He flicked his wand and transfigured a small rock into a blanket, placing it over their legs. They sat there together until the sun set over the lake, and Lily shared a few stories about her childhood to an attentive James. The pain didn’t go away, but she felt remarkably calmer, and she was very grateful to the boy who had dropped everything for her.

And maybe he was right, and it would get easier with time. One day.

[a-lil-perspective]

I’ve been on Tumblr a year today. That’s pretty wild.

It’s also exactly one month until the Bad Batch series premiere.

I was going through some old notes and found this one that really punched:

Bad Batch Prequel Story. Created May 2020.

It was going to be an extensive story about their origins. I remember getting the idea and inspiration for it before we ever even got news of their series. I was ecstatic to work on it. I set out creating metas, character analysis’, chapter outlines. Even to this day I still do from time to time.

Here recently I found all the chapter names again. It was going to be a long story. Almost 100 chapters.

I wish I would’ve done it. Wish I would’ve held nothing back and fully immersed myself. Wish I would’ve completed the story, followed through with something for once in my life. I wish I would’ve had confidence in myself, believed in my vision and the power of my mind, believed that I was capable and worthy enough and that my contributions do matter, no matter how big or small. I wish I wouldn’t have amounted my worth to trivial things, or let real life trauma pervade my every objective. I wish I would’ve been my own biggest cheerleader and loved myself and been kinder about my writing. I wish I had the drive to flesh out all the things I’m passionate about.

I’d like to say “Maybe one day I’ll finish it...” but I won’t say that, because I know I won’t. I never even finished my ‘Remember Me’ series. I have many regrets in life. I simply add this to the ever-growing list.

Besides, with the premiere looming, I suspect most of what I’ve instilled concerning the nature of their origins won’t comply with canon, not even close. So at this point I just can’t reason with myself to expand upon it. I know I’ll never finish this; certainly not now.

But I thought, maybe I’d share the names of the chapters here with you all. Not that you asked; but simply because I just want to put them out there. Much of the narrative has actually manifested in the form of my headcanons, rambles, incorrect quotes, and metas. So I suppose, in a way, the story is not completely lost. Even still; I wish I would’ve done something with it. Maybe one day I’ll learn.

This was the working title:

“Emancipation Of A Fett Quartet”

Chapter names under the cut.

Chambers and Commerce | Prologue

Fetters and Fetts

Static Zip

Tempest

Freeze

Divergent Emergence

Of Infantries and Irregularities

Shelter the Exposed

Trust Exercise

Snuff It Out

Condemn or Commend

Marled Gray, Inseam Fray

(Social) Casualties

Fake It To Make It

As Far As The Eye Can See

Silhouette

Blackout

Inspect, Infect, In Fact

The Average Intake

Inscriptions, Encryptions

Unscathed

Shotguns and Shots

Shove It Up Your Arsenal

Organized Chaos

Mother Tongue

Mass Effect

More Where That Came From

Strong Vex Jive

Trouble Is

What’s the Specs?

If You Can’t Hang

Limits (Or Lack Thereof)

Put Up Or Shut Up

The Irony Of Choking On A Ration Bar

A Walking Travesty

Point Blank

You Can(t) Count On Us

Marginally Established

What This Is (Idiocracy)

All-Apparent Defects

Spatial Reasoning

Clear The Schedule For Irresponsibility

Plotted Course

Vices and Virtues

Trajectories and Traces

Lost and Found

Sink Or Swim

Remember This

(Unlikely) Prodigy

Chief Among Them

Words Of Wisdom With A Whirlwind Of Trivia

Crimson Accessories

Stuck On You

Wrong Angle

Ride Or Dye

A Scintilla Of Sabotage

Full Of Yourself

Where’s The Sense In Making Sense?

It’s All Downhill ‘Till It’s a Glide Through—

Combatant

Space Between

The Rock and the Hard Place

Unravel

Tuffs and Turbulence

{The Prince’s Return }

{A Marshal’s Recruit }

{Your Best Man }

Their Batchy Side

Bleeding Gray

Sons Of Fortune

Cheat Codes

Death Is Remotely Possible

Sinful Wages

In The Depths

New Face

Forsaken

Cold Water

Apparatus, Apparition

Through Your Plastoid Head

On The Flip Side

Shattered Flecks

Not A Word

Man-Kind (Anything But)

Immaculate Misconception

Comatose

Alter Ego

When Legends Rise

Four Old Time’s Sake

Deflect and Defect

Stick It To ‘Em

Let It Ride On A Bad Bet

The Best There Ever Was | Epilogue

[lesbianlotties]

the only touchstone of truth - Marla/Fran

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: I Care A Lot (2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fran/Marla Grayson Characters: Marla Grayson, Fran (I Care A Lot) Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Origin Story, Canon Backstory, First Meetings, First Kiss, First Dates, Getting Together, Morally Ambiguous Character, Illegal Activities, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Partners in Crime, crime wives Words: 21010

The American dream. The small business that Marla Grayson built from nothing. And now it's all crumbling down back to... nothing. Marla is left to pick up the pieces of the broken dream, but this time she's determined to start a fire with what she has left. The problem, or rather, the solution, comes in the shape of Fran, a gorgeous woman that, unlikely as it seems, has just as many tricks under her sleeve as Marla. This is how they meet, this is how they fall into each other's dangerous games, and most importantly, this is how they fall in love.

Love, the only honest thing about each other, and the most important part of their story.

Final Chapter:

It was natural, mostly, the way the couple gravitated to spending most of their time in Fran’s home. It was simply much better than Marla’s, and the blonde woman had very clear priorities in her life. One, herself. She wanted to win, she wanted the best of life, she wanted to get everything she desired. And that was a very attractive apartment. And number two… well… it was Fran. So, Marla, never one to half-assing her actions, promptly embraced this new perspective of her life. She stepped into the relationship with all the blazing passion she put into every new project. If in the process Fran managed to reveal an unexpectedly loving side of the ruthless businesswoman, well, that made it all just even better.

Along with their relationship, their newest business adventure was about to begin. This involved a lot of planning, a lot of risks, and also a lot of bright mornings getting ready together in Fran’s house with their best suits. This, of course, very often included some variation of the same incident in which they get distracted with each other and constantly arrive late at important places. 

For example, Marla sitting on the bed, leaning back on her hands, waiting for Fran to come out of the bathroom. When the brunette finally strolled out, she smiled at the sight in front of her and said, “You look great.” Her newest suit really fit Marla perfectly.

“I know,” the blonde tilted her head and extended a hand to beckon her girlfriend closer. “And you’re fucking stunning,” she added. In a second, Fran was standing between her legs, leaning down to kiss her, and stifle a laugh when she felt Marla’s hands eagerly move to their favorite destination to cup her ass.

“We could stay home today, you know?” Fran whispered against the other woman’s lips. It seemed they took turns making such a suggestion, and only rarely did they manage to resist the temptation.

Marla let out a small groan. “No. Today’s important,” she bit Fran’s bottom lip, but then genuinely tried to pull away.

“Come on, Marla,” Fran whispered seductively while moving to kiss and nip at Marla’s neck. She was proud to elicit a pleased sigh from the woman in her arms, and even more overjoyed when she pushed Marla onto the bed and she complied. However, she was happily surprised when, not a second later, Marla had switched their positions and pinned Fran to the bed on her back. The following kiss was positively breathtaking, and it got even better, or perhaps even worse. 

Marla placed a hand firmly on her girlfriend’s chest to keep her laying still on the bed, and then she pulled away to say, “Have you ever heard about marital tax deduction?”

The thoroughly unexpected question on top of their previous activities had Fran gasping for a breath. “You don’t… pay taxes,” was the only thing she thought of.

“I’m just saying,” Marla replied, giving Fran one of her signature shark-like grins, and taking advantage of the brunette’s shock by stealing one last kiss, and then pulling away completely, standing up, and starting to walk away.

“Marla?” Fran called after her. She couldn’t move the bed. She was blushing and her brain was threatening to short circuit. Was that a proposal? It wasn’t like Marla to joke about something instead of outright stating what she wanted. And yet, she wouldn’t bring it up if she hadn’t thought seriously about it on her own before. “Marla!” Fran repeated, jumping out of bed and chasing after the woman of her dreams.

“There are some great financial advantages to a civil union, that’s all I’m saying!” Marla called out already halfway down the stairs.

Both of them were laughing then. Of course, there would be financial gain. Would Marla really do something if there wasn’t some sort of profit for her? Only time would tell how serious she was about the subject, and how far each of them would go for each other.

--

“Well, I’m impressed,” Dr. Karen Amos stated as she leaned back on the chair of her office. 

In front of her, on the other side of her desk, Marla and Fran waited for her answer, wearing matching sly grins, stylish clothes, and perfectly balanced energy radiating between the two of them that she could tell had a lot of potential. She almost had it in herself to feel a spark of jealousy, or envy, But that was quickly overshadowed by her blatant interest in the business offer in front of her. After all, Marla had chosen her for a reason. Marla knew her well enough to know she’d look past their history and say yes to this. 

“Are you in?” Marla asked.

As if anybody could say to her, the doctor thought.

“I’m in,” Karen nodded confidently. “I believe I could even give you a name or two right away.”

While she looked over her files, Fran received a call and excused herself out of the office. With three folders in her hands, Karen returned to her seat and took the opportunity to talk a bit more privately to her ex.

“I have to say,” she started, “I was really surprised by your visit.”

“I hope this is alright,” Marla replied.

It annoyed Karen just the slightest bit, the way Marla was still mostly using her business voice. She shook her head and regarded the other woman silently for another moment. “Of course it is,” she scoffed playfully. They hadn’t been bad for each other, not exactly. Marla had simply made it extremely clear she didn’t want a relationship. That didn’t seem to be the case anymore. “You two look right for each other,” she added, a little more softly, and she meant it. Marla tilted her head and listened attentively.

“Yeah?” the blonde said.

That was better, Karen thought. Marla’s shoulders relaxed. They could be friends after all. “Perfect match,” the doctor grinned.

Marla returned the smile, and she was earnest as she said, “Thank you.” She hadn’t made many friends in her life, for obvious reasons, so this was something she’d come to appreciate deeply.

Just then, Fran walked back into the office, holding her phone. “Sam Rice called,” she told Marla, “He said he would love to meet you.”

“Oh, I know him,” Karen chuckled, “You’ll have him eating off the palm of your hand, Marl.”

Marla and Fran had barely made it out into the parking lot when Fran playfully pushed Marla’s shoulder with hers. “So, Marl, huh?”

“I never liked it when she called me that,” Marla rolled her eyes.

“Cute,” Fran smirked, and delighted in the warning look her girlfriend sent her way. 

--

One more day of work, one more day of the two of them struggling to let themselves walk out the door of the house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Marla asked, running her hands through Fran’s hair in the way she knew her girlfriend adored.

“I thought you hated the surveillance part of the job,” Fran sighed.

“I do, I get restless,” Marla admitted, and dipped her head to start leaving feather-light kisses on the exposed neck of the woman in her arms. “But you make one hell of a sexy spy.”

That comment made the brunette laugh brightly, and wrap her arms tighter around Marla. She let the embrace last a few more seconds of perfect warmth, and then she begrudgingly pulled away. “I gotta go,” Fran said, and kissed Marla’s cheek. “And you have to find us an office.” She slowly walked away, picked up her keys, her helmet, and then paused at the open front door with carefully planned nonchalance. “Hey, I almost forgot,” Fran reached into the back pocket of her pants and then threw a set of keys that Marla easily caught.

“What’s this?” Marla asked with a small frown.

“Your keys to our house, of course,” Fran replied. She was leaning against the doorway, smiling confidently, as if this were an everyday occurrence. “No offense, baby, but your old place doesn’t do you justice.”

Then, just like that, Fran was out of the door, starting her bike, and driving away to stalk their first victim in the business of legal guardians. Marla, on the other hand, was standing in their hallway, lips parted and heart-racing pleasantly. She took a deep breath and, holding her set of kets tightly in her hand, she walked up the stairs to their living room. She had many calls to make. She had to find them an office and staff, and then arrange the official move from her previous apartment into their home.

--

It wasn’t the first time that Marla and Fran walked up the steps that lead to court, and it would be far from the last time. But this would likely be an unforgettable occasion. It was their first hearing with Dr. Karen Amos and a gullible judge to get the legal guardianship of a lonely, rich, old woman.

“Are you nervous?” Fran playfully asked her girlfriend.

“Not so much,” Marla easily replied. “But if we lose again you might have to hold me back or there’ll be casualties.”

The two of them shared a laugh. Marla’s worries were completely unnecessary. Karen’s lies about her patient were spot on, the judge did everything but burst into tears for the fabricated story, and a few signatures later, Marla was legally responsible for the wealth of a woman she’d never met. She had a perfectly calculated plan of what all her next moves would be. Her plan, obviously, included pressing Fran against the wall of a secluded spot of the hallways of court and kissing her like both their lives depended on it.

“Is this going to become a tradition?” Fran gasped with a breathy laugh as she grasped Marla’s short blonde hair.

“God, I hope so,” the other woman chuckled, diving back in for another kiss.

--

Champagne glasses clinked together as Marla and Fran celebrated the success of their first job. An innocent woman locked in a care home, a house sold, everything under Marla’s name, and earning additional money for every overpriced hour they spent stealing from her. It couldn’t be more perfect. Not when Fran is sitting on the chair across from her in the dimly lit restaurant.

“I could get used to this,” Fran smiled. To Marla’s ears, it sounded like something from a dream

“What? Being able to afford this?” she replied. Admittedly, she was a little distracted. The restaurant was colder than expected, so now she was wearing Fran’s jacket over her sleeveless dress, which left the brunette’s arms exposed to Marla’s appreciative blue eyes.

“Winning,” Fran said, “while knowing I’ll be taking you home with me at the end of the night.”

Her words made Marla shake her head fondly. It had been months already. They were living together, and their relationship showed no signs of soothing its fire. In the blink of an eye, Marla could picture an entire life with Fran by her side. It would never stop being exciting, no matter how comfortable and safe they could get with each other. 

“What’s on your mind?” Fran asked softly, sipping her champagne.

“You.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Seriously,” Marla chuckled along with her wife. She took a moment to organize her thoughts and then further explained. “Do you have any idea how unexpected you were to me?” she wondered out loud, and without waiting for an answer she went on. “Not a part of any of my plans. Not even in my wildest dreams. Now I can’t even picture my life without you.”

Fran’s smile never wavered. She took a deep breath and let the precious word settle deep within her heart. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised and raised her glass again as she added, “Ride or die.”

The smile from Marla then was worth absolutely every risk they would ever take for each other in their lives.

--

“Welcome home, Mrs. Grayson,” Fran playfully said, holding open the door to their offices.

“Oh, come here,” Marla chuckled, grabbing the neck of her girlfriend’s t-shirt and pulling her in for a kiss as they stumbled into the hallway of the place.

It was still empty, and they’d have a lot of work to do, but it was every bit as good as they had imagined it.

“This place is huge,” Fran laughed while they walked around the entire place, stepping into every room and making big plans for the future. “Are you sure this is all necessary?”

“Who cares? We can afford it!” Marla chuckled. Their business of guardianship was taking off, and soon enough she would have these offices filled with employees and clients and victims and power. Then they arrived at the main office, her very own office with the wide windows, big desk, lots of space, and it was all her. “God! It’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed.

“It’s ambitious,” Fran whistled, equally as fascinated with the space.

“Oh, I’ll fill it up, don't worry.” Marla leaned against her desk and sighed contentedly. This was a great step in the right direction, and she was feeling more confident than ever about the path she was following in life.

“With you? I never worry,” Fran swiftly replied.

In a minute, Marla was sitting on her desk, Fran standing between her legs, and they were kissing with all the abandon of being in an office they owned with windows closed and doors closed behind them. The feeling was indescribable, and when Fran expertly started kissing Marla’s neck, the blonde couldn’t help herself anymore, couldn’t hold back a minute longer. She moved her lips close to Fran’s ear and whispered, “Marry me.”

“What?” Fran pulled back instantly, she was shocked and happy in equal measure.

Marla bit her bottom lip and looked deeply into the most perfect pair of brown eyes. A small part of her still believed this was a stupid thing to do, but the greater part of her didn’t even mind being a little stupid for Fran, as long they could do this together for the rest of their lives. “Someday,” Marla said, placing her hand on Fran’s cheek, “When we’re really fucking rich, I’ll marry you, properly. I’ll get you a gorgeous diamond, we’ll travel the world for our honeymoon, everything will be perfect.”

“And right now?” Fran asked breathlessly, although she was nodding already and her voice was trembling.

“Let’s just sign those papers,” Marla smiled, hopelessly in love. “I want to share this with you, completely. The business, the success, the good, and the bad. Partners through and through. Yes?”

“Yes. Yes, absolutely,” Fran replied, without an ounce of hesitation in her body. She pressed their lips together again in a searing kiss. They laughed together, a tear or two might have escaped, and it was only just the beginning.

--

In their offices, a handful of staff was hard at work managing dozens of clients, properties, sales, court visits. In several care homes across the city, men and women of old age cursed the devil of blonde hair and tailored suits that robbed them of their freedom and their money in a mostly legal manner. In Dr. Karen Amos’s office, her patients walked in willingly and innocently, and more often than not their files were shared with a ruthless businesswoman that could put their lives upside down to her will. In their home, their things waited for their return, the kitchen where they shared their meals, the comfortable living room where they made all their big plans, the bedroom that was witness to the most passionate and the most tender displays of the love the couple felt for each other. Finally, in their car, Marla and Fran drove from one place to the other in complete and confident bliss. Business was good, life was better, and legally, they were married. They felt invincible.

“Who’s the next one?” Fran casually asked from her place behind the wheel.

“Hm. Mrs. Feldstrom. She won’t give us too much trouble, I think,” Marla replied. 

“Sounds good,” the brunette nodded. There was a pause then, and Fran couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her lips. She didn’t even need to turn her head to know that Marla had her eyes fixed on her. But she didn’t mind taking her eyes off the road to look at the blonde that stole her heart all those months ago. The expression on Marla’s face was beautiful. “What?” Fran asked her, sounding a little amused.

“You know,” Marla replied, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[josefavomjaaga]

Mier's letters from Naples, mid-March 1815

Things are starting to fall apart.

Mier to the Duke di Gallo (Copy) Naples 12 March 1815 (morning).

The departure of His Majesty the King, announced as very near, for Ancona, the movement almost general of Neapolitan troops from the interior towards the frontiers of the Kingdom, the order given to the Royal Guard to be ready to march, and many other circumstances and measures taken, prove only too well that His Neapolitan Majesty has projects in view which it is important for Austria, friendly power of the King, to clear up, principally in the present circumstances.

The undersigned Envoy Extraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary of His Majesty the Emperor of Austria to the Court of Naples therefore has the honour of addressing His Excellency the Duke of Gallo, Minister of Foreign Relations, in order to obtain from His Excellency prompt and categorial clarifications and answers in this respect, so that they can be brought to the attention of his Court as soon as possible.

In requesting His Excellency to send him His reply today to be sent by a courier which he is sending tonight to Rome, he has the honour to renew to Him on this occasion etc.

(Signed) Mier. To His Excellency the Duke of Gallo etc.

That sounds a lot like a diplomatic ultimatum. And I can't help but be reminded of the letter Eugène wrote to Murat the year before ("So ... you with us or against us, buddy?")

Mier to Metternich. Postscript

Naples, March 12, 1815, evening.

My Prince!

1) The greater part of the garrison of Naples set out this morning. The few troops which still remained will start tomorrow. Veterans and invalids have occupied all the posts. The officer carrying my present expedition will be able to verify in his journey the number of those who have taken the road to Rome, and will report to Marl Bellegarde; all the rest of the garrison and the troops of the surroundings will have marched towards Ancona. The field crews, the King's treasury, and many people, both civil and military, attached to his person, are leaving tomorrow. Everything proves that the King has made up his mind and that He is only waiting for the first news of Napoleon's enterprise to act. I do not believe that He has the project to march into France. He will try to raise Italy and take possession of it; it will be necessary therefore that He fights with us. Although one wants to make believe that these steps are concerted with Austria, consternation is general here, people distrust the King's head and foresee misfortunes.

2) This morning there was a Circle at Court; several Englishmen attended to take leave of the King. He gave them a long speech on the recent event that occupies all minds. He said that he had news of the Emperor from Grasse; that everywhere he was received with enthusiasm and that there was no doubt that he would succeed in his enterprise; that he could not but ardently desire it, the Bourbons having declared themselves openly his enemies in spite of all the steps and advances he had made to render himself sympathetic; any change of dynasty in France could only be advantageous to his interests; that it would be quite indifferent to Him whether it were Napoleon or some other French general who occupied the throne of France, provided it were not the Bourbons: "I am their enemy, as they are mine". He said that he marched his troops towards the frontiers to be more in touch with events; that moreover his policy remained invariably attached to that of Austria; ... and much other drivel which relates to his military career and his elevation to the throne of Naples.

3) The Princess of Wales left this morning for Rome, from where she intends to go to Civitavecchia and embark for Genoa on the English frigate which had come to Naples to fetch her. She wanted to follow the King to Ancona, but yesterday morning he had his Grand Equerry tell her that the political situation prevented him from receiving her in Ancona. It is said that she was furious and decided to go to Genoa.

4) As the Duke of Gallo has not yet sent me an answer to my note of this morning, and seeing the urgent need for Your Highness, and Mar Bellegarde to whom I am writing at the same time, to be informed of what is being prepared here, I have decided to send my mail to Rome without waiting for this answer, which I will send to Your Highness as soon as I have received it.

5) My position here is becoming very embarrassing and I beg Your Highness not to forget me and to give me His orders as soon as possible.

6) I have the honour of sending herewith to Your Highness the two proclamations of Napoleon to his army in France. I have the honour etc.

Mier.

The proclamations are not cited but according to the author, vary only in details from those in Napoleon's correspondence. Mier actually even received Gallo's reply before sending off this letter to Metternich.

Gallo to Mier

Naples, this 14th of March 1815.

My Lord Count! Having had the honor to submit to the King the note dated the day before yesterday which you did me the honor to address to me: S. M. could not read without surprise that you show concern about the march of His troops towards the frontier when it is known that France gathers considerable forces in Grenoble and Dijon with hostile aims against the King, as the Cabinet of Vienna itself is convinced.

In addition, the extraordinary and unexpected events which are taking place at this moment and which can set the continent ablaze again, are of such a nature as to require that the King be in a position to act for his own preservation, and as a result of the answers which His Majesty impatiently awaits to the overtures which His ministers have been ordered to make to the Cabinet of Vienna.

I have already had the honour of speaking to you about these overtures, as well as about the journey of His Majesty into the provinces and countries occupied by His troops, a journey which was decided upon and announced, as you know, My Lord Count, at the beginning of the winter.

I have no doubt, My Lord Count, that you will find in these clarifications very natural motives for justifying the movements in question.

Please accept the repeated expression of my highest consideration

The Duke of Gallo.

I'm not sure if di Gallo actually expected Mier to believe this.

Mier to Metternich, Postscript

Naples, March 16, 1815.

My Prince!

1) Today at three o'clock in the afternoon I received an invitation from Her Majesty the Queen to come and see her. I hastened to go and found Her Majesty very distressed. The King had just received a letter from Florence from General Pignatelli announcing the arrest of Madame Mère and Princess Pauline by the Commander of our troops at Villa Reggio [correct: Viareggio]; that they were being treated there as state criminals; that one of our officers was always keeping watch over them. The Queen told me that this news had enraged the King, and that she was very saddened by it. I tried to reassure her that there was surely some exaggeration in this report; that I supposed that these ladies having landed at Villa Reggio, the Governor of the Principality of Lucca would have thought it necessary, in the present circumstances, to oblige them to remain there until he received orders concerning them from the Marshal, the Count of Bellegarde; that everyone in his place would have done the same; that moreover I could assure her that these ladies would not be mistreated. The Queen informed me that the King had sent General Filangieri to Marshal Bellegarde to urge him not to oppose the continuation of the journey of these two Princesses to Naples, and that he had charged her to ask me in his name to support this request. I replied that I would do so willingly and that I would take advantage of General Filangieri's departure to write to General Bellegarde, as I did indeed as soon as I got home, and I had my letter delivered to the Queen's Cabinet. This evening Mr. de Gallo gave me the attached note, which I have the honour of bringing to the attention of Your Highness. I confined myself to acknowledging its receipt and to informing him that I had already written on this subject to Marshal Bellegarde at the invitation of Her Majesty the Queen. She must also have addressed His Imperial Highness the Grand Duke of Tuscany to ask him to take an interest in this matter and to try to arrange it in accordance with their request.

The note Mier refers to is not cited, but seems to have repeated Caroline's protest against the way Letizia and Pauline had been treated.

2) I found the Queen very distressed and dismayed at all the King's actions. She repeated to me what she had already told me in this respect, and assured me that she was doing everything in the world to prevent the King's departure, because she foresaw the consequences; that twice in succession he was about to get into a carriage to leave Naples and that she had succeeded in diverting him from it; that in order to persuade Him to give up this journey She had declared to Him that She did not wish to take charge of the regency, or to interfere in any way whatsoever with the affairs of the government in His absence; that if He left She would retire to Portici to live there in the greatest seclusion, and that She did not wish to receive any minister there, and much less to talk to him about business. This statement greatly embarrassed the King; for He knew that in His absence no one was in a position to conduct business but the Queen.

3) She told me how the notes which Your Highness had addressed on February 26th to Campochiaro and on the 25th to Talleyrand had had a bad effect on the King's mind; that in them there was no question of defending the King, but rather the Princes of the House of Austria; that the King believed himself to be on the eve of being sacrificed by our Court. He claims that we have been sparing Him and lulling Him into hope until the moment of a definitive arrangement with the other powers, and that we are now gathering troops in Italy to dictate to Him the rules. The Queen told me that She was far from admitting his ideas, having too high an opinion of the loyalty of the Emperor Francis, but that with the distrustful character of the King it could not be put out of His mind; that these ideas and the appearance of the Emperor Napoleon on the scene at the moment when He believes Himself sacrificed, have turned His head. "He believes that Napoleon's possible successes may help to keep Him on the throne of Naples. You know," she continued, "my opinion in this respect; I do more; I advise the King that if Austria replies that she is determined to oppose the possible successes of the Emperor Napoleon, He should join her, and follow in everything her system and policy. You see that my particular affections and the torment of seeing my family persecuted and covered with disgrace give way to the duties of a mother and those of a Queen of Naples. The King must hold on to a great power which protects Him; if He ventures to fly on His own wings He is lost. I once held to the system of France to the last extremity, because I was convinced that our interests required it. Events have had to change our policy; I have convinced myself that our salvation depends on our intimate union with Austria, and I hold to it with my heart and soul. The Emperor Francis has supported us until now as a loyal ally, and I am sure that He will not abandon us, if we deserve it. It is His duty, His own interests command it." I replied that this was an excellent response. I observed to Her that Austria could not be satisfied with the conduct of the King, mainly in what relates to our Italian provinces and to the affair of the Marches. She tried to defend Him and contradicted several statements I had made in support of my thesis. "But the King's last steps," I said to her, "can only increase our distrust and discontent?" "I fear," she replied, "that they will produce this effect; you know how much I have fought against them; but do not look for much malice in them; it is a spur-of-the-moment move, a foolishness which is repeated and which I hope will not be supported. The King is calmer, more reasonable, and I flatter myself that this state of affairs will continue." She could hardly speak, so weak was she. "You see", she said to me, "in what state my sorrows and the continual debates I have to support have reduced me, I often lose courage. I observed to Her that She would make a well-deserved reproach to herself all her life if at such a decisive moment She allowed herself to become depressed and discouraged, and did not use all her power to prevent false steps. May Your Highness please accept etc.

Mier.

Sort of typical: So the boys made a mess of things, and the one woman around is supposed to reproach herself for not having prevented it.

[xomarauders]

I couldn’t find if you take requests, so ignore this if you dont! I loved your little fic of Marlenes coming out process, adored it! I got a hint Sirius was holding a secret of his own (😌) and maybe you could write something with Marls and Sirius having a conversation coming out to each other, sharing, realising they’re not alone? *kiss* no matter if you get to it thank you for your work ❤️

you ask and you shall recieve! 

i hope you enjoy this second bit. i have uploaded it onto ao3 as well if anyone wants to check out both parts there (: 

—

Sirius was running harder today, his feet pounding harshly against the solid ground. No matter how hard Marlene tried to keep up she couldn’t. She paused, letting him continue to race ahead of her as she dropped her hands to her knees and gasped for air. It was a cool day, and the lake rippled slightly as the wind blew, continuing on to whistle through the trees. Winter was coming soon, which meant the three broomsticks would be serving hot chocolate on Hogsmeade weekends. She wondered idly if Dorcas would like to join her in having one.

“Fuck!”

Marlene popped her head up at the sound of Sirius’ exclamation. He was sitting on the ground a few meters ahead, his long hair falling into his face as he slouched forward, one hand circling around his ankle. With one last deep breath, Marlene jogged towards him.

“What happened?”

“My fucking ankle. I tweaked it last week when—” He paused. “I tweaked it last week and it’s still giving me issues.”

Marlene knelt down and gently took Sirius’ ankle her hand, feeling for some sort of tear or strain. He sat silently as she worked, which Marlene found quite suspicious. Sirius was, well, pretty dramatic most of the time and this subdued Sirius that had been appearing more and more lately was definitely starting to concern her.

“What sort of thing do you and the rest of you marauders do on those nights you sneak out to cause you to fuck up your ankle this bad?”

Sirius looked at her. “You know we sneak out?”

She shrugged. The truth was that Marlene only knew they snuck out because she had seen them last month when she was up in the astronomy tower, waiting to meet Dorcas. The two of them had started becoming closer and Marlene—though the very idea scared her—has started to have feelings for the other girl. She had yet to anything about these feelings, though. It was strange, maybe, but Marlene wanted to be out to her friends before attempting to start anything with Dorcas. What fun would it be if she couldn’t tell anyone about her?

Marlene looked at Sirius, who had resumed staring off into space. She frowned, suddenly feeling guilty about not catching onto his obviously distressed state earlier. How terrible a friend she must be for not noticing despite running with him nearly every day and sharing a common room with him.

“You were pushing yourself pretty heavily,” She said, taking out her wand and transfiguring a stick into some wrap to tie around Sirius’ ankle. “why is that? James tell you that you need to for Quidditch, or something?”

Sirius shook his head. “Just stressed.”

“About what?”

He looked up at her and Marlene could see the worn-down look in his eye. The genuine sadness there made her heart ache for him. It was not a look that belonged on Sirius Black’s face.

“Have you ever…felt alone?” He asked, and Marlene pretended not to notice the way his eyes filled with tears. She nodded.

“Well, that’s how I feel. I…I have a secret and I’m too afraid to say it out loud. I’m scared of what could happen if I do. Scared of being rejected, of losing my friends. Of losing Remus.”

Sirius said the last part softly, and Marlene got the feeling that she perhaps was not supposed to hear it at all. She stayed quiet for a moment, eyeing him, and wondering if maybe, just maybe, Sirius was like her.

“I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make your friends turn their back on you, Sirius. Especially Remus.” Marlene said solemnly. He scoffed.

“You don’t know that.”

She thought for a moment, wondering what she should say next. She thought back to the past few weeks, about how desperately she wanted to confide in her friends, in Sirius, and how she too was scared of rejection. It was a terrible, feeling as though you could not share your most authentic self with your closest friends. She would not let Sirius feel that. Neither of them had to.

“Fine, I don’t know.” Marlene said. She reached out and took hold of his hand, prompting him to look at her. “What I do know is that I won’t turn my back on you. There is nothing you could say to me that is going to make me love you any less, Sirius. You’re one of my best friends and I care about you too much to let anything come between that.”

Tears fell from Sirius’ lashes and he shook his head. “You don’t know—”

“Try me.”

He sucked in a breath, trying to compose himself before whispering into the wind so softly that Marlene almost missed it.

“I’m gay.”

Marlene smiled at him, recognizing the look of relief in his eyes, even as the fear lingered. She remembered that feeling, remembered the support she had received from Dorcas and she wanted to give that to Sirius. With her arms wide open, Sirius fell into them, crying in earnest now, and she held onto him tightly.

“Please don’t hate me, Marls.” He whimpered and Marlene had to bite back tears of her own.

“Oh, Sirius. Never. I could never hate you.” She laughed slightly. “Besides, it’d be pretty hypocritical of me to hate you for being gay when I’m a lesbian.”

Sirius pulled back, looking at her with wide eyes. “You’re—”

“Into girls? Yes.”

Sirius opened his mouth, stunned for a moment, before punching her lightly in the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I wanted to! I almost did like ten times! C’mon, you know how intimidating it is!”

They laughed, their tears turning into those of joy as they embraced each other once more. Marlene felt like she could breathe again. Coming out to Sirius made it seem more real, made her feel even more empowered than she was before when it was just a secret between her and Dorcas. She wondered if she would continue to feel like this the more people she told. Lily and Alice would be supportive, there was no doubt in her mind. She would tell them tonight. She would tell James and the rest of the team during practice. Surely they would be happy for her before James made them promptly get back to work. She would tell Remus in the library where they studied. He would probably nod his head and offer a small smile, thanking her for being so honest.

“You should tell your friends.” Marlene whispered.

“You should, too.”

She pulled back from their hug, smiling her watery smile.

“Let’s do it together.”

[rainandhotchocolate]

Blackout - Part 11

A/N so you know, didn’t come out yesterday but all because I wanted to make it longer!! So here’s a fun ol’ chapter 11 for you!! I hope it makes you all happi :))

Part 11

They landed on the edge of the gate leading up to James and Lily’s cottage, holding tightly to each other as they staggered up to the door and Sirius banged loudly on the front door. The moments on the doorstep felt like minutes, his heart beginning to pound loudly as he had a second to pause.

Finally, the door opened and James raised an eyebrow as he took in Marlene and Sirius in front of him.

“Merlin,” He ran forward to catch Marlene as she fell forwards, her legs buckling, and Sirius struggled to stay upright. “LILY!”

Sirius let go of Marlene as James carried her inside and leaned against the doorframe, sucking in a shaky breath as Lily came rushing down the stairs and stared momentarily at Sirius. He wondered how he looked.

“Can’t get enough of this pretty face,” Sirius grinned at her, his face hurting as he tried to smile.

“One day it won’t look so pretty if you keep doing stupid shit,” She growled, but the concern in her eyes made him keep smiling at her until she reached the doorway and could help him move into the kitchen. He collapsed into a chair, Lily pulling out bottles of different potion ingredients and placing them on the table.

“What happened tonight? James got back hours ago.” Lily began mashing something dark and brown into a bowl.

“We bumped into some people after James scoped the place. Must have been hidden.” Sirius gasped, feeling his body sinking further and further into the chair as his nerve endings began to shake.

“Who was there?” Lily mixed something green into her cauldron and muttered something. Sirius took in another breath. He definitely didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Of all the things he would have to make Lily Evans hurt over, Snape wasn’t never meant to be one ever again.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t you clam up on my now, Black.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at her but she continued to glare.

“It was Lucius… and… and… Snape.”

There was a pause. A heaviness in the room that was only broken by Marlene hissing at James and the sound of him swatting her away.

“Oh.” Lily’s head ducked as she continued to pour more liquids into the cauldron and letting it begin to simmer. Sirius reached out and touched her pinky finger softly.

“Where’s Y/N?” He tried to break the silence, poking her hand. “Lily? Our communication is not good today.”

“She’s upstairs.”

“Asleep already?”

“She’s been getting migraines.” Lily flicked her wand so that the cauldron flame dimmed and she scooped a large cup of the potion out. “She might take a few days of work to rest.”

“Is she ok? Does she need to go to St Mungos?” Sirius tried to stand but felt his legs shaking painfully under the weight and sunk back down.

“We called them already, don’t worry. She’ll be fine, she just needs to take it easy. Like you,” Lily gave him a look as she handed him the potion. “Drink it. ALL of it.”

Sirius rolled his eyes but picked up the glass and sculled it quickly, grimacing as the thick, gluggy liquid burned his throat. Marlene let out a loud groan and swore loudly from the other room.

“I need to go check in on them – do you have anything that needs to be bandaged?”

“No, just my fried nerve endings,” Sirius winked, standing up slowly. “Marlene definitely has a broken arm, don’t let her convince you otherwise.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Lily gripped his shoulder and carried an abundance of ingredients into the other room where James was now cursing at Marlene and telling her to bloody sit still.

Sirius groaned as he stood, letting his face drop and pain overwhelm him again as Lily left the room. He took small, slow steps as he made his way towards the stairs and the spare bedroom. He opened the door and leaned on the frame as he blinked away the darkness and took in the room.

Y/N was lying on the bed, eyes closed, hands pressed up against her temples. She was still fully dressed, and the window beside her had its blinds open, moonlight streaming onto the carpet and edge of the bed.

“Hey, you awake?” Sirius said softly, trying to avoid waking her up if she wasn’t. There was no noise for a moment before she began to move a little, pushing off the covers.

“Yeah, it’s a bit hard to sleep to be honest.” She chuckled. “When did you get back?”

“Just now.”

“Where were you?” Y/N mumbled softly, trying to sit up in bed. Sirius began walking further into the room, his legs shaking.

“Marlene and I went out on the town.” He smiled. He wanted to tell her, he really did. Dumbledore said that there was no way of telling her until she came upon it herself, until she was asking for something more like last time.

“Right.”

Sirius winced, she clearly wasn’t convinced.

“How are you feeling, Lily mentioned the headaches?”

“It’s nothing, just another fun side affect of losing my memory.” Y/N snorted, sighing deeply. “I wonder if it’s just going to be more and more until…”

She trailed off, blinking her eyes open a little to look at him.

“Everything’s a bit shit at the moment isn’t it?” Y/N cocked her head to the side, a soft smile on her lips. It reminded her of the nights they first started dating, when she’d lay against his pillows and look up at him whilst he changed, smiling up at him like he was the only thing she ever wanted to look at for the rest of her life. He subconsciously began playing with the ring tucked under his shirt.

“Yeah that’s pretty accurate.” Sirius laughed, moving closer to her and sitting on the edge of the bed. Y/N continued to look at him.

“Why do I feel like everyone is hiding something from me?”

Sirius watched her moving to sit up against the wall, gesturing for him to sit more properly on the bed.

“It’s like…” Sirius took a few moments to figure out the words. “It’s like you went back in time, you know? Like we are repeating something that’s already happened, but it still needs to play out.”

“So, you know all about what’s going to happen to me?” Y/N snorted at him, tucking hair behind her ear and pulling her legs up around her chest.

“Something like that.” Sirius waggled his eyebrows, “I could probably tell you what you’re going to say next even.”

“Fuck off,” they said in unison.

Y/N glared at him.

“Cheap shot.”

Sirius shrugged.

“What can I say, I’m a gifted human being,” Sirius grinned at her, beaming at her face which was in a full smile, eyes crinkled in the sides.

“I would say arrogant,” Y/N teased, slipping back into the covers a little further as she yawned.

“Sorry, I’ll let you get back to sleeping.” Sirius went to stand up but Y/N reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Can you stay-“ Y/N said quickly, recoiling almost just as quickly. “Sorry I didn’t mean to, I just-“

“No it’s ok, I can stay a bit longer.” Sirius felt his heart pounding, hard. Erratically.

“Sorry, I just… I’ve been getting some bad dreams lately.” Y/N leaned away from him, but still made room for Sirius to lie down partially at the bottom of the bed.

“What kind of dreams?”

Y/N curled up into the blankets, cocooning herself in the doona.

“I don’t know, they’re weird. It reminds me a bit of duelling club in school, the flashing light and colour and locking eyes with someone and no one else. But then there’s this intense sort of… panic. Like I need to run as fast as humanly possible as far as I can immediately. But whenever I turn to run, or even if I somehow get outside the building I’m always caught. And then I have the fun time of waking up in a pool of sweat.”

She huffed towards the end. “I don’t think I’ve had a full night’s sleep since I left St Mungo’s.”

“Why haven’t you said anything? Lily could have made you a sleeping potion or –“ Sirius cut himself off at Y/N’s very withering look.

“You think I don’t notice you sitting in the living room every night? You all look like you’re preparing for someone’s funeral.”

“Good to know we are so sly.” Sirius snorted. “But you know you can interrupt us right?”

Y/N shrugged, rolling over so she was leaning on her arm and facing him.

“I don’t mean this in a sappy way, I just… well it’s not like I forgot fucking everything you know,” Y/N took a breath, “I’m not more important than this war. Even if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Sirius took a minute to take her words in. With everyone telling them to protect her, make sure she goes about as normal, as she remembers, as she was, they were forgetting that her old norm was the reason she became unhappy. The reason she turned to the order in the first place. What’s the point in making someone unhappy to reach the point you want them too?

He watched her continue to curl into the bed. He had the urge to reach out and stroke a finger against her cheek, her jaw line.

“I’ll tell you everything.”

Marlene had calmed her breathing after almost an hour of heaving up her last year’s worth of food and nearly killing James three times. Her arm was now in a sling, and she lay with her head resting up slightly on the couch so Lily could begin to pour something into her throat.

James was sitting on the floor next to them, reading the large document that Marlene had handed to him moments after crashing into their living room.

“This… this is brilliant Marls, I can’t believe you managed to take this.” James whistled appreciatively, his eyes still locked on the parchment.

“We always knew I was the best in the order,” Marlene coughed, “We need to get it to Dumbledore before they find out I took it.”

“I’ll send it off tonight, don’t worry.” James looked up from the paper and back to Marlene. “You should stay here, for at least a day.”

“Jimmy come –“

“You know I will keep you here by force if I have to.” James gave her a malicious looking smile, “You’ll be tied up and force fed bacon.”

Marlene rolled her eyes.

“Alright, alright, but someone send a message to Dorcas to then.”

“Already did, she’ll be by in the morning.” Lily sat next to Marlene. “You sure no one saw you take this?”

“No, I grabbed it whilst Snape was practising some lovely charms on me.”

Lily winced but tried to hide it. Marlene squeezed her hand in apology.

“There was something else also,” Marlene spoke softer this time, glancing at James. He narrowed his eyes.

“What. What happened.”

“They mentioned you, Lily. Something about you being involved in a plan or idea.”

James looked up at Lily, grabbing her hand tightly. Lily paused, keeping her gaze lowered until she spoke.

“Snape was talking about me?”

“No it was Lucius, talking about a girl at first. But Snape clarified.” Marlene took a beat, “He sounded worried.”

James’s face was contorting into something close to rage as he avoided looking at Lily.

“We need to tell Dumbledore. He might have heard something.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Y/N had begun snoring softly, still curled into a tight ball. Sirius wondered how long he was meant to stay for. She had asked him to stay... or was she going to think he was the biggest stalker in the world?

She let out a soft whimper suddenly, her hands clenched against the blankets, body beginning to squirm.

“No no no no, please don’t,” Y/N mumbled, her breathing hitched and painful. Sirius scrambled upright, pausing awkwardly above her, his hand hovering near her shoulder.

“Get off… please…” her voice was softer, but painful to listen to. Physically painful. Sirius made a split second decision and moved closer to her; simultaneously turning into his large animagus form. He padded over to her, placing his paws against Y/N’s shoulder and placing hard pressure against her to focus on, to bring her back to reality.

She continued breathing heavily, but relaxed almost immediately, her body unclenching and shoulders releasing. Sirius let go slightly, easing backwards from her but was caught, Y/N’s arm falling lightly over his torso, head relaxing against the top of his.

Sirius felt like every part of him she was touching was on fire, her hand across his torso making his heartbeat into his throat. He closed his eyes, breathing in every inch of her, and fell asleep curled up as a dog into her chest.

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[evanmcintosh]

Puppies, ice cream, beaches and cuddles.

Who: @marleyxrcse & @evanmcintosh‘

When: Sometime mid September

What: Evan joins Marley in getting her puppy. Emo shit and feelings get involved. Ends with beach cuddles.

Notes: Tw drug use, mentions of drugs

Marley walked over to Evan's place, unannounced. She wanted to do something that she thought about for a while but decided at the last minute she wanted to do it now. Marley knocked on the front door, hoping Evan would be there and free to come with her.

Evan was sat in his bedroom about to take a second hit from his bong when he heard the knock at the door. He was already just a tad bit high and didn’t bother with a shirt as he went to answer the door. He just hoped it wasn’t his brother, he didn’t want to deal with that. He yawned as he opened the door to find Marley standing there, cute as ever. “Marley, hey… “ he ran a hand through his hair as he stared at the pretty girl. “What’s going on, sweets?”

Marley grinned as the boy opened the door, happy that he was at there. "Hi!" She felt her cheeks burning a little when she realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. "Is there someone in there? Am I bothering you?" She asked, whispering. Marley pulled out her phone and looked through her phone. "I know it's last minute but I found someone, who lives an hour away from here, and the family that was supposed to take her backed out. She will be mine if we go right now. Would you like to come with me? Please?" she asked, showing him the picture of the puppy golden retriever. 

Evan raised a brow confused for a bit as his mind slowly caught up. “What? Oh, no. I’m alone. Sorry, I uh, I just took a hit. I’m a little high.” He over explained. Her concern was cute. “Someone?” He asked with a chuckle. “Oh like a dog.” He laughed again. “Yeah, yeah.  Come in, I just need to change.”

"Oh great. I'm glad I'm not bothering you. Sorry, I meant I found someone who had a puppy to give." She chuckled. Marley stepped into the house, "Thank you for wanting to come with me." She smiled at him. "Where's Chuck?" she asked, looking around for him.

“You could never bother me.” He gave her a charming smile and let her into the apartment, shutting the door behind her. “Of course, babe.” He squeezed her arm gently. “He’s in my room being lazy. C’mon.” He led her to his bedroom where Chuck laid on the bed sound asleep. The faint odor of weed filled the room, a smell Evan didn’t really even notice anymore. Evan rummaged through his drawers to look for a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, not really bothering to leave the room before removing his basketball shorts leaving himself in just his boxers to change.

"I can't believe i'm going to be a new mom." Marley said, following him to his room. "Hi Chuck!" She called his name softly as she walked over to the bed. Marley reached her hand out so he could smell her before petting the door. "You're gonna have a new friend soon!" She said, excited. The girl took a seat on the bed and couldn't help but glanced at the man as he changed.

“That’s very exciting. I’m really happy for you.” He stepped back from where he was standing and leaned over to give Marley a kiss on the cheek. Evan then pulled his jeans on and put his shirt on before sitting next to Marley to put his shoes on. “Do you know what you’re going to name him?” He asked curiously “Thank you. I’ve always wanted a dog and I’m so happy I get to realize one of my biggest dreams.” Marley’s lips curved into a smile as he kissed her cheek. “It’s a her and I’m not sure yet… I had maybe Bailey or Skye in mind… Maybe i will come up with something on our way there. We’re gonna have to stop at the pet store too. And get ice cream too.”

“Those are pretty names.” He agreed. “Oh, are we now? I mean puppies and Ice cream does sound like the perfect combination.” He brushed her hair out of her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb lightly. “Alright, looks like we’re ready to go.” He turned to the small dog and leaned over to kiss his head. “Sorry buddy, you’re staying here.” He gave him a few scratches before standing up and taking Marleys hand. “Lead me to your car, m’lady.”

Marley leaned into his touch, “It’s gonna be a perfect day.” She said excitedly. “Bye Chuck. Be a good boy.” Marley pecked the top of the dog’s head before standing up and made her way outside the house. “I didn’t tell my mother yet. Let’s hope she won’t kick me out for this. I doubt she will but we never know.” She laughed. “I’ve been thinking about getting my own place… But i’m not sure yet.”

“Perfect day?” It warmed Evan up a bit. “You think spending time with me contributes to your perfect day?” He asks curiously. It had been a while since someone actually wanted to hang out with him. “You should totally get your own place. It’s awesome. But if you ever do need a place to stay, my place is always available for you.” He responded as he followed her to the car. “Of course it does!” Marley nudged him playfully before walking on the other side of the car. She sat on the driver’s seat and put on her GPS. “It does sounds awesome but it does sounds lonely as well.” She admitted. “You’re so sweet, thank you.”

Evan shrugged his shoulders “I mean, i prefer it. I love living alone. It means I can do anything I want, have anyone I want over. Plus, I have Chuck to keep me company. You could also just get a roommate.” He explained “That’s what friends are for, right?” He chuckled softly

“That is true. You can do whatever you want without bothering anyone. I’m close to my mom and I help her a lot so I kind of feel guilty about moving out. It wouldn’t be so bad if I stay in Gradian tho.” Marley explained, starting to drive. Evan gave her a sympathetic smile and placed his hand on her knee for a gentle squeeze. “I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if you ever do need space or a place to crash you can stay in my spare room.” Evan realized he didn’t really know Marleys situation and pushing her to move out was selfish of him. All he could do is offer his support.

Marley moved her hand on the top of his, "I've been thinking a lot in the last two years actually. I've always wanted to move to New York City. I would love to be able to be on Broadway someday. I know it's a silly dream." She chuckled and shook her head. "I don't think I will make that big move, not soon anwyay. I don't want to leave my friends and family behind... I guess moving out and staying in town might be the best option."

Evan flipped his hand under hers and intertwined their fingers. “New York is beautiful. I don’t think that’s silly at all.” He brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a comforting kiss. “Don’t feel pressured, you’re still young. You have time.” He nodded before placing their hands back on her knee. “Do what feels best for you, not for anyone else.”

"It really is beautiful. Well from what I've seen in movies at least. I would love to go on vacation someday before I make a big decision like moving there. I know Harley lived there a bit. I might ask her if she wants to go with me and visit the city." Marley have been debating for years for that decision. She wished she could bring everyone she loved with her to New York so that way she would have everything and eveyone she loved at the same place. "I know I have to do what's best for me but family and friends are so important to me. That's what makes it so hard." She sighed. Marley smiled slightly and glanced over at him as he kissed the top of her hand. "Thank you for listening to me rambling." she laughed.

“It’s pretty similar to the movies, although a lot dirtier and it smells kinda funky but that’s kind of what gives it its charm. You have to have bad to appreciate the good and all that.” He nods “I wouldn’t mind tagging along, it’s been a while since I’ve been back in the states.” Evan let out a small sigh and settled into the seat. “Of course, Marls. I’ll always listen.”

"You've been to New York before?" She asked. "You can definitely come with us. We could bring the pups with us as well! I know New York is a dog friendly place. I know there's a lot of dog parks. Maybe when we cannot bring them with us to some places they could go to doggy daycare! They could have fun and socialize." Marley was so thrilled and happy about the thought of going to this vacation. "Oh it would be so much fun. We could also go to a Broadway show! Oh my- that would be amazing!"

Evan nods along with her excitement. It had been a while since he had felt really excited about something and It was refreshing to see someone feel that way. He wished he could feel that way again but lately it had been so difficult for him.  “Sounds like a good time, Marlz.”

"I'm sure we will have the best time over there. I've never really got out of Gradian. I've been to England a few times but that's pretty much it." Marley glanced over at him again. "What are the little things, or big things, that makes you feel happy?" She asked, her thumb stroking the back of his hand. 

“You’ll love the states. I’ve been fortunate enough to be well traveled but I think my favorite place is back home. I miss California.” He shrugs and squeezes her hand. He hated talking about his feelings, he hated admitting how horrible he felt about himself and things around him. “Lately not much.”  He bit his lip and looked away from her, out the window to distract himself from feeling sad.

“I’m sure I will. There’s so many places I would like to visit around the world.” Marley smiled sadly at his words. “I’m sorry you feel that way. We can try to forget about our worries today and just enjoy the day. I think there’s a beach nearby we could hang out there with the pup. “

Evan shook his head and pulled his hand back. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” He said dryly and grimaced at his own tone of voice. He hated how irritable he could become when he was sobering up and he hated taking it out on others but sometimes he couldn’t control himself. He swallowed and shook out his hands a bit, nervous that he might have upset Marley.

Marley was taken aback by his tone of voice, her hand falling on her lap. "You know, it's okay to not be okay." She said softly. "I will always worry because I care about you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want you but I will never pressure you to do anything." She tried to reasure him in some way. "You know, most of the time I am not okay as well and I absolutely hate talking about bad things i'm feeling. I try to focus on things that brings me joy and it helps me."

“Yeah, well I’m not you, Marley. I’m not optimistic about my shit show of life. Can we just drop it and get the puppy.” He responded irritably. He took a deep breath and fidgeted with his fingers for a moment as he got his mind together. He really didn’t want to keep snapping at Marley. He didn’t understand why he acted like this. He hated it, he hated himself. “I’m sorry, I’m such a fucking asshole.” He muttered and chewed at his lip as he reached for her hand again.

Marley's heart squeezed a little at his words. She didn't added anything else, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel upset. She stayed silent, trying to let the tension go down a bit. She looked over at him as he spoke again. "No you're not..." Marley squeezed his hand gently. "I'm sorry if I made you upset, I didn't mean to."

Evan felt bad for making Marley feel guilty of something that clearly wasn’t her fault. “No, please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He squeezed her hand and leaned over to press soft kisses to her shoulder, trying to apologize with his affection.

"Would you like to go to the beach anyway?" She asked. Marley looked over at the gps and smiled widely. "We're here!" She said excitedly. She pulled up in the driveway of this beautiful house, surrounded by fields. "This house is so beautiful. After having my Broadway career, I would love to get a house like this. Where I could raise my kids and have so many animals." She sighed. "You're coming in with me right?" 

Evan nodded “Sure, yeah. Whatever you want to do.” He agreed apologetically with a small small. “I’m sure you’ll have that and more.” Evan was prepared to wait in the car, he didn’t mind it at all. “Oh, if you want me to, I can.” He replied as he took his seatbelt off and got out of the car, stretching his body as he waited for the girl.

“I hope I will.” Marley got out of the car and walked to the other side of it to where Evan was standing. “Come on!” She she grinned and reached out for his hand, pulled him gently towards the house with her. A gasp escaped her lips as the older lady walked out on the porch, holding the baby golden retriever who was wagging her tail. “Look at her!” She let go of this hand to take the puppy carefully into her arms. “Thank you so so so much.” She said to the lady before turning around to face Evan.

Evan followed the girl and stayed back a bit once Marley rushed to the puppy. Evan had to admit how adorable the puppy was and it was nice seeing the girl so excited. He smiled to himself, his smile brightening up as the girl turned to him with the dog. “Look at you. You’re officially a dog mom.” He chuckled softly

Marley was glad to see Evan smile after the conversation they just had. The girl nodded, “I am!” She pressed a kiss on the puppy’s head and stepped closer to the boy so he would be able to pet her if he wanted to. “I can’t believe she’s mine.”

Evan stepped closer and gave the dog a small pet before rubbing Marley’s shoulder a little. “I’m really happy for you. Do you wanna get going now? We still need to stop by the ice cream shop. I can hold her while you say bye to the nice lady.” 

Marley carefully moved the puppy into Evan’s arms. Before walking back to the lady. She made sure she got the transfer of money she made before she left. Marley came back to her friend, holding a starter pack. “She’s so nice. She gave me a small bag of food that she’s eating right now so I can make a transition to new food and I also have a bandana and a toy!” She showed everything to him as she spoke. “Do you think you can drive so I can hold her? If you don’t want or can’t I totally understand.”

Evan held the small fluffy dog in his arms and rocked her gently in his arms. He enjoyed holding the dog but he knew Marley should be the one bonding with her. “That’s awesome, hun.” He nodded as he took the supplies with his free hand and traded the dog off to the girl. “Of course, babe.” He took the keys from her as well and opened the door for her to get into the passenger side qnd closed the door once she was inside. He got back in the car and adjusted the seat for himself. “You ready for ice cream and the beach?”

Marley traded the basket for the dog and hugged her gently into her arm. “Thank you so much.” She kissed his cheek. The girl sat down in the car and reached out on the back seat for the leach and collar and putted it on. “I’m ready. We’re ready!”

Evan knew he was forward with physical affection but it always surprised him when others were physical with him. He blushed lightly at the kiss and turned the car on to get ready to go. It wasn’t long before he found a local ice cream shop and drove them to the beach. They found a nice spot and once there he took his shirt off so the girl could sit on it and not get sandy. “It’s a beautiful day today, Marls.”

Marley felt like she was in a dream. Nothing else mattered at this moment. It was like a weight as been taking off her shoulders. “You’re sweet.” She said when he laid down his shirt for her. Marley sat down and giggled when the puppy started to roll into the sand.  “It really is. I’m very happy you came with me.”

Evan got down to the puppies level in the sand qnd laid next to where she was rolling. He propped himself up on his side and rubbed the dogs belly for a little before she got up to run around on the long leash. Evan rolled onto his back to look up at the girl with a small grin, squinting his eyes at the sun. “I’m glad you wanted me to come. I’m sorry about my mood in the car earlier.” He pouted softly.

Marley couldn’t help but grinned when she looked at him interacting with the dog. The sounds of the waves, puppy and nice company. It was really the perfect day. Marley ran her fingers through his hair, looking down at him. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” she reassured him in a soft tone.

Evan sighed softly. “Are you sure?” He asked nervously before closing his eyes. He loved the feeling of her fingers through his hair and he hummed gently as he relaxed under her touch. “You should lay with me, the sun feels really nice.”

“Yes, i’m sure. I understand. Sometimes emotions takes over.” Marley moved to lay down next to him, still holding on to the leach. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun hitting her skin.

Evan nodded and shifted his body once she laid on the sand. He wrapped his arm around her so she could lay on his chest comfortably. He kissed her head and felt small butterflies in his stomach, feeling excited with every touch. It wasn’t long before the puppy had joined the two and nuzzled her way on his chest. “You know I really like you, right?” Evan decided to comment. He wasn’t really one to hide his emotions.

Marley always loved physical contacts so when she felt his arm wrapping around her, she immediately moved closer to him. She looked up at him, her head resting on his chest. “You do?” She was surprised to hear this confession. It was hard for her to think that someone had feelings for her. Simply because she was used to be put into the friend zone. But maybe he meant it just as person.

Evan nodded. “Of course I do. You’re gorgeous and sweet, not to mention a complete babe.” He chuckled softly. His hand caressing her lower back as he held her against his chest.

Marley felt her cheeks burning slightly, “That the first time someone says that to me.” She couldn’t help but chuckled. “You’re saying that but you’ve never seen me at my not so good days.” She said to him. She reached out with her free hand to her puppy and petted her gently.

Evan raised a brow. “I don’t believe that.” He chuckled softly. “Unless all the people you hang with are too scared to say shit.” He continued to rub her back “I’m just saying what I see and what you show people. Everyone has bad days. You know this.” He sits up a bit and lays her down on the sand, hovering over her. He pushed her hair out of her face with a kind smile.

“I guess they are.” She laughed. “I know that… But I meant physically. I’m sick, Ev.” Marley laid on her back and looked up at him, her blue eyes looking into his.

Evan furrowed his brows when she mentioned being physically sick. It made him think of his own issues but he didn’t want to assume anything anymore. “What do you mean?” He asked quietly, wanting to know because he cared. “I have Lupus. It’s an autoimmune disease. Most of the time I’m okay but sometimes I struggles doing little things.” She explained. Marley ran her fingertips up and down his back.

“Oh, marls.” He really wasn’t sure he knew anything about the disease and he felt bad for not knowing. “I’m sorry, honey.” He kisses her forehead. “It’s okay, I’ve learn to live with it.” Her lips curved in a slight smile. “I’m just more difficult to deal with sometimes and not everyone wants to deal with that. I don’t blame them.”

Evan shook his head. “Everyone has things that are difficult to deal with it, Marley.” He shrugged “You can’t let that shit get to you. People who actually care will be there for you.” He caressed her cheek and traced her lips with his fingers. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I know- I know…” she sighed. “I’m not but-“ she stopped. “Never mind.” Marley’s eyes not moving away from his face, her lips curved into a small smile. “Thank you.” She whispered.

Evan was confused that she stopped and didn’t finish telling him what was on her mind. “But what? You can tell me. I’m not going to judge you.” He responded, still caressing her skin. He wanted to kiss her so bad but didn’t want to be inappropriate.

Marley shook her head. “It’s nothing really. You’re right, I shouldn’t let this get to me. I just can’t help it sometimes.”

“Marley.” He warned. “Tell me what’s on your mind. Maybe I can help?” He raised a brow “or maybe I’ll have to kiss it out of you.” He teased and kissed her left cheek and then went over and kissed the other before pecking down to her jawline, stopping before he got to her lips. “You wanna tell me now?” He whispered

She laughed softly and moved a hand to the back of his neck. Without adding anything else, Marley closed the gap between them and kissed him gently. Evan kissed back with a small chuckle, not expecting her to initiate the kiss. He pulled back a few moments later with a sly smile. “You little cheater, I’m the one supposed to be kissing you. Now you have to tell me.” He laughed and pecked her lips again before laying on his side next to her.

“I wasn’t important. I was just about to say that yes, people who care about me will be there for me. They are. But dealing with this for a short period of time versus having to deal with it most of the time is not the same.” she explained. “See, it was just more, sort of, complaining.” She chuckled. Marley glanced over at the dog, making sure she was okay and then looked back at him. “Can we not talk about it anymore?” She asked, poking the tip of his nose playfully. 

Evan listened to the girl, feeling bad that she felt that way. But decided not to push further in because she had asked so. “Alright.” He said softly and buried his face in her neck, lining her skin with small kisses. “So did you decide on a name for her?”

Marley grinned and ran her fingers through his hair, tilting her head slightly to the side as she felt his lips on her skin. She loved the attention Evan was giving her. She looked over at the dog again and thought for a bit. "I think I'm gonna name her Skye." Evan wrapped his arm around her waist and laid his head on her shoulder. “Skye’s a pretty name. I think she’ll like it.” He smiled against her skin. He’d been so distracted with Marley and the dog that he hadn’t even thought of Freddie or Milo. It was nice or at least it had been as the thoughts began to creep back. Evan sighed to himself, trying to brush it off so he wouldn’t bother Marley with the annoying thoughts pestering his brain. He just wanted to be high again.

“I think so too.” Marley smiled widely and closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. She laughed softly as she felt the wet nose of Skye brushing against her exposed skin. “You’re tickling me.” Skye waggled her tail and laid down against her. “I was right, it is the perfect day. Puppy, beach and cuddles.” She grinned.