#maybe 10 mins thinking it up 10 mins writing it down 10 mins making it Tumblrpostable

[cupidsblonde]

in which reader and Choso have been talking online for a while and reader has gotten herself a pretty boy appointment

content includes: size difference, age difference (reader is 22 choso is 36) mating press, back-shots, reverse cowgirl, tit fucking“idk if it will fit” “ill make it fit” big dick big tits

inspo: my lovely favorite jjk author getodrools

any picture sent my reader there will be different links with different skin tones!

I thought I’d write something for jjk! I’m into all sorts of fandoms anime and all !! Feel free to tell me any other fandoms you’d be interested in me writing for !!

monday 10:23 am

my fav dick<33

hey baby watching those videos of u fuckin that pretty pussy <33

Attached: 1 Video

his fav pussy<33

your so biggg:)

you’d stuff me so full baby

Attached: 1 Photo (1 2 3)

my fav dick<33

i wish i could stuff your tight pussy baby:(

your tits look sooo good

maybe we could meet up?? lol

im only 30 mins away🤷🏻‍♂️

his fav pussy<33

when r u freeeee :)

im free friday we could frl meet up !! :))

my fav dick<33

thats great bc im also free friday babe;)

i have to go, duty calls but maybe we could

call tonight and play with a dildo of yours<33

his fav pussy<33

ooo yay !! can’t wait for tonight and to see you :))

my fav dick<33 hearted a message

it was true that you couldn’t wait to see him, you where a little nervous but he made you feel good and he makes you happy. but his cock was huge! you really didn’t know if you could handle all of that. but your pussy still hasn’t been fucked but anyone but yourself !! you have huge dildos so you think that you would be able to take him.

incoming call from my fav dick<33

“hey baby” choso says happily but still in his voice that you find so sexy “heyy which one are we using tonight?” “the big one” “perfect daddy !! i already have it let me put it inside” just as your about to slip it in he stops you “let me see” “of course daddy!”

choso gets to watch you play with yourself and shove the dildo in and out of your tight pussy while he jerks his dick

“s-stop” choso says into the phone and you listen, and stop.

“daddy please let me cum im so close”

“cum for me sweetheart” choso groans out as his load shoots out from his huge dick.

after both of you cum you guys talk for a little while and end up falling asleep on the phone.

friday 8:00am

my fav dick<33

what time will you be ready for me baby?

can’t wait to see you

his fav pussy<33

anytime daddy:)

my fav dick<33

okay then ill be there around 9:15 pm okay?

cant’t wait baby;)

his fav pussy<33

ekk !! cant wait:)) 9:10pm

my fav dick<33

im here baby

when you read that text your hands became clammy but your pussy is tingling !! you opened the door and you where met with a large man! you knew he was tall, and with the way you could see his dick grow when he laid eyes on you. it was going to break you in half

“hey baby” he says with a smile and you let him walk in and close the door behind him. you grab the chest of his hoodie and pull him down to you he had to be at-least 6’2. you start kissing him, he seamed a little surprised that you wanted to get started all ready but he pulls away “jump” he mumbled into your ear.

you jump and he grabs your under thighs and you wrap them around his waist and you continue to make out with him. he knew the layout of your house from the many times you would walk around with him on face time and headed over to your bedroom.

he opens the door and wraps him other arm around your body to support you as he kisses your neck. he knew you needed foreplay. as he continues to lay sloppy kisses along your neck he finds your sweet spot. you let out a gasp and a rather loud moan, thats how he knew he had found it. he sits on your bed with you on top of him.

your grinding on his dick as you let out soft groans and moans as he keeps sucking on your neck. he slowly moves a hand to your ass, and finds him way to your panties. he starts massaging the bottom of your thighs with his other hand.

you pull your neck away from him and peel your legs away from his hands and you moves your hands to his zippered pants, you pull both his pants and boxers down. he’s already hard. your met with a practically a third leg!

“wow.. your just as big(if not bigger) as i saw online!” you say with a smile as you take his balls into your palm. you cup them with one of your hands and start pumping his cock with the other. you start kissing his tip to the base. lick down and you put just your mouth on his tip and you start sucking

he groans. loudly. “fuck baby” he says as he grabs you by your hair and pushes you so you take him even deeper in your mouth. as you continue to massage his balls you feel his cock twitch when you suck. thats when he moans loudly. he starts fucking his cum inside of your mouth.

“swallow” you do as told and you swallow every last drop of his seed. when you do you open your mouth and show him, his cock is standing up again. your grabs you by the shoulders and he pulls you onto his lap and starts making out with you. before his cock almost finds its way through your panties, he lays you down on your back.

he wastes no time with shoving your tiny skirt up, which he only had to move little because it was so tiny and she slides your hot pink thong down your legs and takes them, drapes it along his dick and twists it so its all wrapped around his dick, he could feel your wetness on the thong still. he starts pumping his cock and at that time he moves his mouth to your pussy

he pushes your maxi tank top up and finds you arent wearing a bra, he uses that hand that isnt pumping his cock to pinch and twist your hard buds that lived on your massive tits. he has been sucking and licking at your clit and when he stops pumping his cock and peels the panties that are now covered in his pre cum, he suddenly moves his tongue to dart and and out of your pussy stops every once in a while to suck at your throbbing hole.

“im gonna cum” you say repeatedly and fast and when he hears this you feel him grin against your pussy and flip you onto his lap, spank your ass which makes you moan loud and hard then start rubbing your clit. he starts picking up the speed and thats when you scream out his name and cum. “oh yes choso !!”

his dick is standing once again and with not warning, he stands from his spot where he was on his knees on the floor and pushes your legs to your shoulders. “you ready baby?” he says and before you could answer, it was yes of course, his huge tip was sliding up and down your folds.

you moan out when his tip gets to your throbbing hole and he pushes just the tip in. “ i dont know if it will fit” “i’ll make it fit down worry baby”he slowly pushes inside and groans. it takes a little while for you to reach his base but when you do, you can see a bulge in your stomach. he was being so sweet but you wanted him to be mean to you, even if it was just for a little bit. “choke and slap me please” you moan out “ive got to fuck you harder then” you nod and he starts thrusting into you while choking you, but not hurting you.

he suddenly stops fucking you like that after such a quick pace, you whimper and beg him to keep going. suddenly he flips you onto your front. “arch for me” you arch. “i warmed you up with that now your gonna get back shots with this big cock” he puts his dick into your needy little pussy and starts fucking you, hard. “anything you want daddy” you moan out.

as he continues to mercilessly pound your pussy, hitting your g spot every time. you tell him your gonna cum. when he hears this he goes even faster. when you let out a scream, he keeps going until your squirting all over his dick. your body is shaking and he flips you onto your back and he presses his dick in between your tits. “tit fuck me baby” so you listen and press your tits together with his dick in between, and start milking his cock “yea just like that baby”

“come ride me” he says sitting on the bed, you where ridding him then suddenly, he wraps his arms around your waist and starts fucking you hard from under you. That’s when he finishes, but this time inside if you. And you where okay with it. You finish all over his cock, your juices mixing together and when he pulls out he fingers you to keep everything inside. He grabs his and yours discarded clothes, and helps you up.

“you good baby?” he chuckles when your knees buckle and you fall back onto the bed. he gets you new panties and helps you get dressed into your pj’s. he gets dressed himself and lays down behind you.

“im glad we met up” you say with a smile when you turn to him. “me too sweet girl” he says sleepily. eventually you both doze off.

in the morning you wake up to him nor being in your bed, so you go looking for him and you find him in your kitchen. making you breakfast. you smile and turn back to go to your room. when he enters the room he says “ i knew you where in the kitchen you know?” he says kissing your forehead and giving you the food and drink, setting your drink on the nightstand.

after you finish your food he stays with you in bed for a while, in comfortable silence. “can i be your boyfriend?” he suddenly questions. you turn to him with a huge smile and say “of course!!” you excitedly say. “im so glad.” he says kissing your forehead and dozing off, you not long after him.

[peachylipglosss]

my guide to wonyoungism, improve your life, glow up, be THAT girl:

🎀 have a routine: this is something I learned from being on therapy for so long. It is really important to have a routine because if not you can have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get bored easier, you won't be able to finish your responsabilities, it can bring you bad self esteem and in general is a complete mess.

🎀 work out: always do what's best for you and do what you feel comfortable doing but please! work! out! I'm such a lazy person and at some point it was really hard for me to have motivation to do anything, but once I put my mind into it, and force myself a bit and started with 10 mins of pilates everyday (since it was something easy to start with) my life and my self esteem improved a lot. Working out is another way to have schedules and a routine, also improves your self esteem by making you feel capable of doing stuff, and ofc is good for your body.

🎀 have a good skincare routine: first, do some research about your skin type and see what products can work better for you (you can also go to have a skincare treatment and ask the beautician or search on internet) but always do what's more comfortable and affordable for you, don't use stuff that influencers recommend bc you can alter you skin type based on the products you use too (as a beutician I know) Also don't DON'T do it everyday, some products can be used everyday like the cleanser but others not. As I said just do a good research. Besides skin stuff it's really interesting!!

🎀 improve your diet: with diet I don't mean to specifically have a diet, actually I'm a bit against them, since being strict about what we eat can cause stress and guiltiness, it's really important to have a balance, eating healthy at the end of the day means nothing if you don't enjoy it. And you can enjoy it by having fun creating new healthy recipes, doing a journal about your fav healthy recipes, buying new cookware (pink plates, pots, pans, etc) or eating a hamburguer, a chocolate cookie sometime

🎀 journal: this is something I do since 2014 lol it's without doubt one of the best things the human has created. It has helped me to improve my writing skills, to get to know me better, to vent about stuff idk how or whom to talk about, also make it fun! In my journal I vent and write about my feelings,fears, dreams, goals, etc but also write down my travels, concerts or fav kpop artists, decorate with stickers, a piece of confetti, even dried flowers!

🎀 hobbies: this is something I also learned recently on therapy, I mean we all had hobbies from time to time but do we know about the importance of having them? I spent this whole year doing nothing since I can't work or study, and without hobbies I can tell you life is too boring, and it can lead you to bad self esteem too I mean, I kinda got crazier for spending so much time alone with literally nothing to do. So find new and fun stuff to do just for the pleasure of doing it, you don't have to be the best at it. I bet you can find hobbies ideas on YouTube as well.

🎀 be more femenine: this is ofc an optional step but I think it can be important, since always either wonyoung or it girls usually look very femenine. Don't forget to make it a fun thing to do! Finding your aesthetic, maybe trying a new one, enjoy going shopping..you can be femenine with your clothing, with your skin care routine, with your jewlery...this is just about feeling beautiful and also powerful.

🎀 improve your behaviour towards other people: with this I mean basically being more open. To meet new people, to make new plans...also fixing your body gesture (at least mine is shit and It always end up hurting my back and shoulders)

🎀 affirmations: good affirmations are a thing, this I learned in therapy too. The way you talk to yourself is important and changing the mindset too. If you tell yourself "I won't be able" then for sure you won't. This is not an easy thing tho I know, but is a necessary thing. Forcing yourself to change your mind every time a negative thought pass by is a hardwork but is well payd, cause the price is your happiness. For this is VERY important to have some help and work things up in therapy. But to give you a little tip, surround yourself with good energy, put some pictures of good affirmations in your room, as background of your phone, even on a shirt!

🎀 enjoy and trust the process: as I kept saying in each step, making it something fun to do it would help you to don't feel it like an obligation cause it's not. It's ofc a responsability to improve your life so you don't fall in depressed behaviours for example, but by making it something fun, then you won't feel guilty if someday you don't feel like functioning and need a lazy day in bed. And by trusting the process, we keep motivated to keep going.

🌼hope this works for you, please let me know if so, have a great day and a great life! 🌼

[m4nj1r0s]

Hiii okay I'm obsessed with your TR headcanons! May I request relationship headcanons for Shinichiro Sano? Maybe with a stoic/ calm and collected reader? Thank you if you do 💖

Shinichiro Sano with a stoic/collected reader headcannons

I’m so sorry for the rlly late reply I was sooo inactive recently but tyy! It’s a little short but hope you like it :)

———————————————————————————————————————

- Admires you a lot, since he’s quite literally the opposite.

- Before you guys started dating, he used to sneak glances at you with a massive blush on his face. You were just so pretty even whilst you did the most boring things on earth.

- Unfortunately, his little ‘glance’ ended up w/ him staring at you for a good 10 mins and he’s scared you think he’s a weirdo :(

- You probably do ibsr

- Whenever he’s around you he tries to act nonchalant like in the gif, but internally he’s freaking out. Poor boy doesn’t want to ward you off because he likes you sm.

- Given his track record with girls, it’s safe to say he goes to Wakasa. You two are similar, and he wants to try and figure out what you’re thinking.

- Wakasa actually gives him genuine advice, probably because he’s gotten so much second-hand embarrassment from Shinichiro asking girls out before 😭

- Has a whole ass notepad where he jots down things you tell him about yourself. Even if it’s the smallest thing.

- “So, you had a vanilla milkshake whilst you were on vacation 3 years ago?”

- “Correct.. Why are you writing that down?”

- Read a romance novel to try and figure out how to confess to you and he decided to do it on a day that was rainy so you two could have a cute first kiss in the rain moment right after you said yes, breaking your stoic demeanor and also confessed your undying love to him.

- Assuming you said yes ofc..

- Wakasa shut it down almost immediately after Shinichiro told him tho 🙁

- So he opted to ask you out whilst you two were hanging out in his motorbike shop during the sunset.

- “So you’ll actually go out with me???!”

- “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

- Mf was literally jumping for joy

- Naturally after you guys start dating you’ll hang around with Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi more. Which is fine, since you and Wakasa have similar personalities and you get along with Benkei & Takeomi.

- Shinichiro was happy that you got along w/ his friends but he does get jealous easily. Especially when you and Wakasa form a good friendship :(

- He’s not upset you two get along, but he’s going with you anytime you hang out.

- He gets jealous pretty easily, and then he gets insecure when you seem to be so nonchalant.

- Do you get as jealous as he does when he talks to girls?? (they only talk to him to ask for directions)

- Mikey and Emma adore you, though they were ASTOUNDED Shinichiro brought someone as cool as you home as his girlfriend.

- They crash your guys’ dates sometimes, but you guys don’t mind.

- Shinichiro loves to hand-feed you, and this mf WILL even if you try and stop him.

- “..Move that spoon away from my face.”

- “Honeybuns, you have to eat!-”

- Literally the king of making the cheesiest, corniest nicknames for you and he genuinely thinks they’re cute.

- They range from Honeybuns, Pookie, SNOOKIE, Sugarplum, Sweetiepie and Cinnamonbun.

- Yes, he literally calls you cinnamon bun sometimes 😭

- But he is a gentleman. Will hold open doors for you, make sure you have a helmet if youre going on his motorbike, tie your shoelaces for you and on those rare days you’re too tired to walk he will carry you.

- I hc he’s actually strong, but js can’t fight for whatever reason. So he’s pretty good at lifting things up, which is useful if you ever want to rearrange furniture :)

- Has a fun little game where he tries his hardest to catch you off guard and will randomly kiss you, but the thing is he always does it at the worst time 😭

- One time he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and you punched him 😭

- “Why would you punch me, Cinnamonbun?!”

- “..My bad.”

- You’re his savior when he gets injured though. Whether it was in his shop, or Mikey and Emma ganging up on him, you always tend to his injuries and your calmness also relaxes him in turn.

- Has a cringe t-Shirt with your face on it that says ‘If Lost, please return to:’ 🫠

- He thinks it’s cute!..

- In conclusion, he will be extra cheesy if you’re stoic <3

[here2bbtstrash]

look down on me like that - 10 (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut, angst

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

word count: 13.1k

contains: there are some serious mental health moments and topics discussed in this chapter (and not all of them handled well 😵‍💫) - this includes mentions of anxiety and su1c1dal ideation, reader experiencing a panic attack, and there's just like.... quite a lot of self-loathing, emotional constipation, and horrible choices being made all around. would also maybe say some hints at gaslighting if you squint. please take care of yourselves for this one 💜 and yes..... no smut warnings for this one 😬 sorry 😬

A/N: besties...... hold my hand and trust the process, mkay?

an eternal thank you to @haliiimede and @monimonimoon for betaing and for doing extra hand holding on this one because 😵‍💫 omg it's a lot and it was a lot to write lmao

read on AO3!

chapter nine | masterlist

~*~

The headache hits before you even open your eyes, like an ice pick driven straight through your skull.

You roll over with a soft groan of despair, burying your face between the pillows, reaching one arm out as far you can, as if in search of something. Your splayed fingertips only find the down comforter; it’s cool to the touch.

With the kind of deep inhale that can only be conjured by an early wake-up with a terrible hangover, you blink your eyes open, immediately squinting at the harsh morning light.

The bed is empty on the other side. You sit up slowly, shivering a little. The room feels unsteady around you.

You press your face into your hands, trying to wake up enough to think through your headache. Last night… Last night. It feels like a dream you’ll soon lose the details of. The Grammys, the afterparty, K-town. It doesn’t feel real.

Yoongi said he loves you.

Your stomach churns.

So where the fuck is he?

The sound of a drawer opening makes your head snap up, and you quickly kick the bedsheets off, trying to ignore the way the world tilts as you get to your feet and pad out into the living room.

Yoongi is kneeling beside his open suitcase, folding up the clothes he wore earlier in the weekend and carefully placing them inside. He reaches for his toiletries bag, zipped up on the couch next to him, and sets it atop the last stack of clothing.

“What are you doing?” you murmur, rubbing sleep from the corners of your eyes. The words slide together, almost gibberish. You think you might still be drunk.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Yoongi mutters, taking a final once-over of the contents of his suitcase before zipping it shut. He gets to his feet, then stoops down to turn it upright and extend the handle. “I’ve got a car to the airport about to pull up downstairs.”

“I— what?” You shake your head, confused. You’re barely alive, let alone packed or ready to go. “It’s so early. Our flight’s not til this afternoon.”

He’s already crossing the room, grabbing his laptop off the desk to slide into his shoulder bag, then reaching for his watch. “I had a change of plans.”

“You what?” You don’t understand how you’re so far behind on this, especially given that you’re the one who’s supposed to have the schedule committed to memory.

Yoongi sighs as he turns to face you, still fiddling with his watch, clearly exasperated. It's only now that he’s held still long enough for you to realize he’s wearing his glasses. “I’m going to Tokyo for a few days to work with some talent. There’s a whole thread in your inbox about it. Feel free to read it at your leisure.”

The dry tone of his voice stings like a slap to the face, enough to make you recoil. You take an unsure step back. “Okay, when did this happen?”

He slow-blinks, and you can’t help feeling like you’ve somehow gone back in time, like you’re standing in front of him on your first day of work. Like he’s your enemy all over again.

“I’ve been up for a while,” Yoongi answers flatly. “Any more questions?”

Your back teeth stick together, tense. The room is too bright, Yoongi’s voice too loud, all of this happening too fast.

“Uh,” you start, less than eloquent. “Can we— talk?” Yoongi stares at you pointedly until you feel forced to continue. “About last night?”

“Let’s see.” He pretends to mull it over, and dread creeps up your spine.

“I lost at the Grammys, almost got in a fight, drank my body weight in alcohol. The last thing I remember is… barking.” You’d smile at the memory, but your lips are pulled too tight at the sour taste of his words. “I assume you dragged my drunk ass back here and I passed out, then I stumbled out of bed around four this morning and promptly became very well acquainted with the bathroom floor. Did I miss anything?”

The question punches an ache behind your ribs.

“Don’t fuck with me, Min Yoongi.” Your voice comes out weaker than you would’ve liked, but it’s getting hard to breathe.

“What else?” he asks, still going faster than you can keep up with. “I was an asshole? Gave you embarrassing intel you’ll be using as blackmail when we go back to work? I didn’t barf on your shoes, did I?”

Why is he asking you?

You bring a hand to your temple, trying to rub out your splitting headache so you can process his words. “Are you… telling me you don’t remember?”

There’s a flash of something in Yoongi’s eyes, and though he drops his gaze, he doesn’t quite manage to hide the way his face twists. “If I said anything, let’s just say I didn’t mean it.”

No. No, no, no. Your world goes spinning. He can’t do this.

There’s a lump in your throat, so thick you can scarcely breathe. You try to swallow around it. “Yoongi, what the fuck is happening right now?”

You swear you can see it in his eyes, the wall going back up. It’s infuriating: he’s right fucking there, yet suddenly somehow unreachable. Impenetrable.

“I am going to Tokyo,” he says simply. “You are… doing whatever you want.” You stare at him, overwhelmed and so fucking confused. He stares right back. “I can still upgrade your seat to first class. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

Some final thread snaps inside you, and your delayed anger finally kicks in. “You think that’s what I care about right now? I’m not your fucking charity case.”

He outright rolls his eyes. “Jesus. Forget I asked.”

As if to signal that the conversation is over, he slings his bag across his shoulder and heads for the door, suitcase in tow.

“Yoongi.” You hate the way your voice shakes when you say his name. He turns back to face you in the threshold, his expression unreadable.

You don’t know how to say it. You can’t say it.

“So what, then?” you try instead. “I’m just supposed to… forget it?”

That you said you love me? That I might have been ready to say it back?

His mouth pulls into a flat line, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything at all. Each second of silence that passes feels like another twist of the knife lodged in your heart.

“Guess so.”

And just like that, the door is slamming shut behind him.

In your head, you chase after him. Yank open the hotel door, sprint down the hallway, call his name loud enough to stop him. You tell him everything that’s been building up inside of you, let all the ugly truths out for him to see, said aloud for the first time, undeniably real. He drops his bag in the hallway, grabs you, kisses you breathless. He stays.

But you can’t make yourself move. Can’t bear the thought of unzipping yourself right up the middle, standing in front of him with every last wall torn down, defenseless and asking for the worst hurt you can imagine. Life has taught you better than that.

Your knees hit the hotel carpet as the tears start to fall. In your head you might be brave, but here in the real world, you’re scared. Too scared to do anything but watch him leave.

~*~

“I’m so fucking confused, Mochi.”

You’re curled up on the couch in your living room with your face pressed into Jimin’s shoulder and his arms wrapped tight around you. Delirious from a thirteen hour flight and the time change, your suitcase still lying in the hallway by the front door where you dropped it. True to his word, your best friend showed up within the hour, a bottle of rosé and a pint of ice cream in tow.

There’s no room left to keep lying, to pretend you don’t care about Yoongi, that it doesn’t mean anything. Not when it hurts this bad, bad enough that it feels like you can’t fucking breathe. At least the tears have finally stopped, now that you’ve soaked a wet spot into the collar of Jimin’s sweatshirt.

To his credit, Jimin seems to find no joy in your meltdown, and you’re grateful for it. The last thing you need on top of all the pain is him gloating about being right. You both know he is, always has been. The things you spent so long trying to deny seem obvious now, in the harsh light of day, at the bottom of this emotional hangover.

Funny how that works.

When you pull away with a sniff, Jimin sighs a little and gently untangles himself from you to get to his feet. You bring a hand up to swipe at some of the wetness still stuck to your cheeks, then reach for the bottle of wine while he slips into the kitchen.

“How did you know I’d need this?” you ask as you twist open the screw top. Your throat is rubbed raw from exhaustion, and from so much fucking crying. “You had that little faith in shit working out?”

Jimin returns with two wine glasses and two spoons just as you ask the question, and he pauses in the threshold. The unsure look on his face makes your stomach twist. Your best friend never looks at you like that.

“I have to tell you something, babygirl.”

You can feel your chest starting to tighten again as he sinks back down onto the cushion next to you, gingerly taking the bottle from your hands to pour a little in each glass. It’s like he’s biding his time, trying to delay some sort of inevitable reality.

“Please just say it.” Your voice comes out in a thick whisper.

He thuds the bottle back onto the coffee table with another soft sigh. “I’m leaving Seoul.”

The words sweep over you like a tidal wave, heavy enough you drag you under to drown. “You’re… leaving?”

“Not forever,” Jimin says quickly, but the look on his face as he takes a sip from his glass is telling. “You remember the group I did the concert with?” His gaze flits over to catch your nod, and he continues.

“They booked a whole international tour. Asia, Europe, North and South America. It didn’t look like they were going to scout any new dancers, but then someone got injured last-minute and they personally called me to ask if I could cover. And it’s so short-notice but…”

There’s a fire in his eyes when he looks up at you again, all determined passion. “I just feel like this could be the opportunity I’ve been working so hard for. And Wonho has been so supportive and understanding about it. He helped talk me through it, reminded me how much I want this. So I said yes. And I’m going.”

You’re quiet for a moment, and you can only nod, trying to wrap your mind around it all. “For how long?”

He grimaces. “Six months, at least? Could be more if they decide to extend it.”

A fresh tear slides down your cheek before you can stop it. “Fuck, okay. Wow. When do you go?”

Jimin downs the rest of his wine, then finally answers. “I’ll be honest, the timing is bad. I really thought you’d be coming home with good news, so it would soften the blow a little.”

“Mochi,” you press him, more tears already threatening your waterline. You can feel your heart on the precipice of shattering into a million pieces— you just need him to fucking say it.

“Tonight’s my last night,” he admits.

There is a voice in your head that knows how you should respond. You should be enthusiastically happy for Jimin, and proud of him, and you are; you know deep down that you are. And you should be reacting to this unquestionably good news the way a best friend would: excited, screaming, hugging him, pouring another glass so you can toast to his success, telling him how great he’ll be.

But you’re sunk so deep in your own pain, you can’t help feeling… betrayed. Abandoned by your best friend, just when you need him most.

You set your wine glass down and press your face into your palms, trying to breathe, trying to stop the ache of a suppressed sob that squeezes tight in your throat.

“It’s not forever,” Jimin reiterates, and you know he’s trying to be kind, but you whip your head to look at him, suddenly aggravated. You can only imagine what he must see staring back at him: your glassy eyes gone red from crying, inset with deep shadows from exhaustion, tear tracks staining your cheeks.

“A little more notice would’ve been nice,” you respond as you pick your drink up again. The words come out harsh, jagged at the edges.

Jimin’s brows raise in clear surprise. “I’m sorry?”

The sweet wine goes bitter on your tongue, and you swallow it with a grimace. “I just think it’s interesting that you had all this fucking time to talk to your boyfriend about it, but not two seconds for the person who is supposedly your best friend.”

You can see a muscle tighten in his jaw. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Are you?”

“Do I really have to remind you what happened the last time we actually spent an evening together?” Jimin asks, and the razor-sharp tone to his voice already tells you that you’ve made a huge mistake, that you should’ve just choked all your bitter feelings down with your drink.

“Because in case you need help putting the pieces together, I believe you left me, alone, at some shitty dive that you specifically begged to go to. And maybe it hasn’t fucking occurred to you yet, but I was actually planning to ask what you thought that night, whether or not I should take the opportunity. Because I love my boyfriend, but you’re right, he’s not my best friend of a fucking decade. You are.”

Fuck. The weight of his words hits you like a truck. You drain the rest of your wine as he continues, relentless.

“And yet that was the night my best friend of a decade decided to ditch me to go hook up with a man she has consistently called an asshole since day one, and it made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, I deserved a little bit more in life. So I went home and told Wonho I wanted to take the job, and he supported me wholeheartedly. Even cooked me dinner to fucking celebrate. And now here we are.”

Jimin spreads his hands in front of him, palms up, as if to set the stage. “You are somehow shocked that the asshole you got yourself involved with turned around and acted… like an asshole. And I am off to go live the dreams that I have worked so hard for so long to finally achieve. Because as it turns out, we are a product of our own fucking choices. So tell me this, bestie: when are you going to take some fucking responsibility for yours?”

It’s only as you move to set your empty glass down that you realize your hands are shaking. It takes a concentrated effort to complete the motion, especially considering the way your eyes have started to blur with tears. You can feel deep, overwhelming shame stretching up from the pit of your stomach, like a black hole that threatens to suck you in entirely.

The sudden warmth of Jimin’s touch makes you flinch, and then you realize his hands are closing over yours, squeezing tight.

“Look at me,” he says hoarsely, and tears spill down your face as you do. You don’t know if you can take any more of his brutal honesty, but you figure you deserve it, so you brace yourself.

“I fucking love you,” Jimin says. The words are so unexpected and voiced in a tone so fierce that a sob wracks your chest before you can hold it back. He squeezes your hands tighter, and you try to return it. “You’re not just my best friend, you know that, right? You are my family. That will never, ever change. You could fucking kill someone, and I’d show up with bleach, two shovels, and a plan, okay?”

You laugh a little despite yourself, and you can feel Jimin’s thumbs brush gently over the backs of your hands. His voice is softer when he speaks again.

“I know shit has been really, really hard for you. For the last few years, and especially lately. But if I’m honest, it’s like you move through the world as if everything is just… happening to you, through no fault of your own. It makes it so fucking hard to root for you sometimes.”

You do your best to breathe through the sting of his words, and you nod, because you know he’s right.

“And that’s all I want to do,” Jimin stresses with another squeeze of your hands in his. “I want to be your personal fucking cheerleader, always, and not just because my ass would look great in the skirt. I know you are more than capable of getting your shit together, but it’s not going to happen if you don’t start taking some accountability for your own actions. And to be crystal clear, I am not a bad person for not wanting to sideline my own life while I wait for you to figure yours out.”

“You’re not,” you agree with a sniff and a small smile. “And I’m sorry for trying to make it about me.” You shake your head as you blink back a few more tears. “You deserve everything, Mochi, seriously. I don’t think there’s another person on the planet who would’ve put up with my shit for as long as you have.”

He rolls his eyes, despite the smile pulling up the corners of his mouth to match yours. “You make it sound like fucking charity work, come on. Have some self-respect! I don’t waste time on people who aren’t worth it.”

“I just thought you kept me around because I was the only person who could keep up with your drinking,” you admit, chasing the words with a giggle, and Jimin makes a face like you’re not wrong.

As if in response, he finally releases your hands, grabbing the wine bottle to top up your glasses.

“I really do wish I had better advice for you and your situation,” Jimin concludes on a heavy sigh as you both pick up your drinks. “But my already limited knowledge on Min Yoongi is also like fifteen years out of date, so all I can say is this: You got yourself into this mess, and I have full confidence that you can get yourself out. Even if it means cornering him and forcing him into a vulnerable conversation. It sounds like it will be great practice for both of you.”

You huff against the rim of your glass. “I have to figure out what the fuck to even say.”

“You will,” Jimin murmurs, his free hand alighting over yours for a final squeeze. “Just start with the truth.”

When your eyes find his again, you can feel your lower lip beginning to tremble. “God, I’m gonna miss you so fucking much.”

Clearly done with the dramatics, Jimin rolls his eyes. “I’m not dying, bitch! If anything it just means I’m going to text and call and FaceTime you more than I already do. Prepare to be sick of me.”

“I could never,” you tease, and he grabs a spoon off the coffee table, gently nudging it against your side.

“Come on, eat your sad girl ice cream before it melts.”

~*~

Even with Yoongi still in Tokyo, the thought of going back to the office and feigning normalcy feels impossible. You end up texting your boss to take a sick day, blaming it on the travel, and he responds quickly, telling you to rest up well and come in the day after.

But between the emotional overwhelm and the jet lag, sleep is hard to come by. You toss and turn, unable to doze off for more than a few minutes at a time, until you kick the blankets off in the early hours of the morning, sick of staring at the walls.

Your body moves as if on autopilot, and you pull your winter coat out of the closet to zip up over your sweats. You grab your phone and your house keys, then slip your feet into a pair of boots by the front door and step outside.

It’s cold, with the barest amount of dawn sun starting to bleed light and color across the horizon, but the fresh air feels good, like it’s easier to breathe in.

Hands shoved in your pockets, you make your way down the stairs to the entrance of your complex and begin to walk, aimless. You’re too fixated on everything whirling around in your mind to pay attention to where you’re headed, and it isn’t until you hear barking that you realize you’ve wandered your way to a neighborhood park down the street from your place, with a fenced-in area for owners to let their dogs run off leash.

It’s a nice place, even now in the dead of winter. You can’t help but wonder why you don’t come here more.

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you blink slowly, your sleep-deprived brain taking several seconds to piece together why it sounds so familiar.

“Bam, Bam! Come here!”

A laugh of disbelief bubbles up in your chest as you take in the scene in front of you: it’s none other than your baby-faced coworker Jeon Jungkook, giggling high and sweet as a large brown Doberman jumps up on its hind legs to playfully tackle him. You recognize the dog as one he’s shown you pictures of, along with the two Italian greyhounds sprinting the length of the fenced-in area, clearly just as energetic as their owner, even at this ungodly hour.

You lean against the fence to watch them, and your heart sinks a little when the memory of your last conversation with Jungkook comes back. It occurs to you that this is probably what Jimin was talking about when he told you to start taking some accountability. But fuck, it’s certainly easier said than done.

You can see your breath in the cold air as you inhale deep and let it out again. Maybe you should just leave him alone, you determine. Turn around and walk home before he sees you.

But then, like the very thought is enough to trigger his awareness, Jungkook’s gaze flits up to meet yours. You wish his Baby Star Candy eyes weren’t so damn expressive— even several yards away, you can see a dozen different emotions flash over his face in the span of a few seconds.

Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you wave a hand in what you hope reads as a peaceful greeting. You’re surprised to see him begin to jog towards you, but even more surprised when someone else beats him to it.

“Can I help you?”

The person standing in front of you looks to be about Jungkook’s age, but immediately hits you with an aura so intimidating that you take a cautious step backwards. He has a black beanie pulled low over his dark hair, and his hands are shoved in the front pocket of his hoodie.

“Oh, sorry, I just, uh— Jungkook is… my coworker,” you offer dumbly, gesturing in Jungkook’s direction. Clearly thinking that they’re still playing, Bam keeps crossing in front of his owner, nearly tripping him up, and you can’t help smiling, watching him stop every few paces to redirect the dog.

“Yeah, I know who you are,” the guy in the hoodie retorts, and your gaze snaps back to him. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”

The question makes your jaw drop. “What?”

“I mean, seriously, what’s your plan here? Gonna lead him on some more and then tell him he’s not your boyfriend again?”

Your eyes threaten to pop out of your head just as Jungkook makes it over to the fence, Bam still nipping at his heels.

“Chan,” he quickly interjects, breathless. “It’s cool. Let me talk to her, okay?”

Chan eyes you up and down, disapproving, then takes a few steps back, his mouth pulled into an obvious scowl. “Yeah, alright. I’ll get the dogs.” You watch as he manages to divert Bam’s attention away with a well-timed ball throw.

Your mind still reeling from the interaction, you try to keep it together as Jungkook laughs, clearly slightly embarrassed. There’s an ache in your chest when you finally bring yourself to look him in the face.

“Sorry if he said anything to you,” he offers, looking back towards Chan, who is now entertaining all three of Jungkook’s dogs, plus a spaniel that must be his own. “Chan is a really good friend of mine, and he can be… protective.”

You huff a soft noise that comes out in a little cloud of steam. “It’s alright. I deserve it, honestly.”

“You don’t,” Jungkook says firmly, and you open your mouth to argue, but he speaks first. “Do you have a second? To talk?”

Uneasiness twists in the pit of your stomach. “I can talk,” you say, tentative. “But don’t let me interrupt. I think your friend already hates me enough.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s cool. Chan and I always take the dogs for a run in the mornings. We’re just trying to get all their energy out, but we’re about to head back after this.” A smile spreads across your face before you can bite it back, and he quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re telling me you go on a run every morning before your six AM boxing class?”

A pink flush blooms in his cheeks that you can’t quite believe is from the cold. “Well, I guess I also have a lot of energy.”

“You’re superhuman,” you laugh, and Jungkook glances down as he smiles, like he’s suddenly gone shy. It’s enough to crack your heart right down the middle, and you can’t keep the words in any longer. “Jungkook, I am so fucking sorry. For what happened before.”

The smile drops off his face as he looks up again. “Don’t be. I was way out of line.”

You tear your gaze away from Jungkook, choosing instead to stare at the thin layer of frost beneath your boots as it all plays back in your head. As much as you wish you could just patch everything up and be friends again, you can’t ignore the truth of his feelings for you, and the way it complicates everything else.

But you can certainly relate to wanting to live in denial. To avoid an inconvenient truth.

“You were just trying to keep me from getting hurt,” you murmur. You wonder if he can tell that he was right, that it happened anyway.

“Yeah,” Jungkook admits, and you glance up to see him pause, considering. “But, you know,” he adds. “My own stuff was mixed in there too.”

“Yeah,” you echo, unsure of what else to say.

“I should’ve listened to you,” he continues with a sigh. “I should’ve been more honest. About how I was feeling. Am feeling. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” You do your best to shoot him a sympathetic look. “Trust me, I really do get it. And I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I was just– I’m in a really weird place right now. But it’s not an excuse.”

Jungkook nods slowly. “I appreciate that. It definitely… snapped me out of it.”

You can’t help grimacing. “I was a bitch, you can say it.”

“No, no!” he exclaims, but his mouth is already pulling into a smile. “I needed to hear it. Seriously.”

There’s a moment where neither of you speak, and you both gaze across the park, watching Chan as he does his best to tire the dogs out.

“Your sons are even cuter in person,” you finally say, and you hear Jungkook exhale a soft laugh.

“You can meet them if you want,” he offers.

You scrunch your nose up slightly as you turn back to him. “If your bodyguard will let me?”

He shrugs. “Nah, Chan’s fine.” You raise an eyebrow in disbelief, and he waves one hand dismissively, the other already working to fumble open the lock of the fence gate. “All bark and no bite.”

Your eyes roll back at the terrible joke, but you can’t help laughing, too. You really fucking missed this kid.

~*~

Not wanting to worsen your jet lag further, you force yourself to stay awake once you make it back to your apartment, determined to take the day to properly unpack from Los Angeles. The routine of putting your things away and dumping your clothes into the washer is enough to keep your hands busy, and your mind takes the opportunity to retrace back over everything that’s happened in the last few days. It’s all come at you so fast, you feel like you’ve barely had a second to breathe, let alone process everything.

Things with Jungkook feel okay again, but your heart weighs heavy with the understanding that your friendship won’t ever go back to the way it was before, not entirely. That dose of reality stings a little, but you know it’s for the best, for both of you.

The loss just makes you miss Jimin that much more, but you know he’s currently on a plane to Bangkok to go live his dreams: he’d texted you a picture of his airport fashion while you were at the park, and you’d sent back a father/son candid of Jungkook playing with Bam. You don’t think Jimin’s bark bark bark response had anything to do with the dog.

You’re grateful for the conversation you had with your best friend before he left, even though it was hard to hear. The thought of sorting this mess out on your own still fills you with dread, but you tell yourself that if Jimin believes you can do it, then maybe he’s right. He’s certainly been right about everything else.

And that thought just brings you right back to Yoongi. A heavy sigh washes over you when you carefully unpack the rented Grammys dress from your suitcase, and the memories of the weekend flood your mind in waves as you brush your hand down the velvet fabric.

For a split second you swore the two of you had figured it out, that there wasn’t just sex and hatred between you, but something more. But as soon as the idea had come into focus, that one sweet night where it all felt possible, you’d watched it slip right out of your fingers again, with Yoongi acting cold enough to make you question if maybe you’d made the whole thing up after all.

You can’t help wondering how the morning could’ve gone in another universe: one where he’d stayed a little longer, one where you’d been a little braver. If you could’ve maybe met in the middle, somehow.

He told you he loved you. The words repeat in your head, again and again, as you stare down at your borrowed dress. Drunk as you might have been, you know you didn’t imagine that part. You just wish you knew what you were supposed to do now.

With a thoughtful hum, you reach for the garment bag slung over your closet door, unzipping it so you can hang the dress back up inside. You guess this is what Jimin was talking about. A vulnerable conversation. At this point, it feels like the only thing you haven’t tried with Min Yoongi.

“No time like the present,” you murmur to yourself as you tug the zipper up.

~*~

Going back to the office the next day feels like jumping straight into the deep end. There’s plenty to get caught up on from the aftermath of the Grammys and the work days you missed while traveling. It takes you most of the day just to get through your inbox in the brief moments of downtime not spent running between conference rooms.

Your one beacon of hope is the reassurance that Yoongi is scheduled to be in Tokyo for the rest of the week. It gives you time to calm down, to focus on work undisturbed without anticipating him around every corner. You’ve got the weekend to plan out what you want to say, to prepare yourself to push past the fear and actually say it, all of it, out in the open.

The very thought makes your chest constrict, but you try to breathe through it. You’ve got time to figure it out, you tell yourself.

And then you glance up to see Min Yoongi pushing the glass office doors open, and you swear your heart stops beating.

“Yoongi.”

His name leaves your lips automatically while you attempt to try and process this as really happening. Your voice comes out soft, as if in fear that speaking too loud will make it all dissolve in front of you, or make him turn around and walk right back out again.

He doesn’t respond; his stride doesn’t even falter as he walks past your desk and rounds the corner, heading for his own office. Acting on sheer impulse, you get to your feet to follow after, catching up to him as he’s keying the code into his door lock.

“What are you doing back?” is all you can think to say. You can’t read any emotion on his face, save maybe exhaustion.

“The sessions went well,” he answers, not sounding particularly glad for it. “We finished ahead of schedule.”

“Oh,” you answer dumbly, and he pushes down the handle and steps into his lab. You catch the door before it swings shut again, taking a deep breath to steel yourself as you step inside. “Can we talk?”

With a grunt, Yoongi drops into his desk chair, tapping at his keyboard to wake his computer and log in. “Sure. I was going to ask you the same thing.”

His response surprises you enough that all you can manage is another, “Oh.” You cautiously close the distance between you until you’re standing beside his desk, your gaze sweeping over his unblinking profile. It strikes you that you haven’t actually planned out what you want to say to him. You thought you had more time.

“Uh, I guess you can go first, then.”

Yoongi’s eyes don’t move from his screen. “I think you were right. This was a bad idea.”

“I— what?” It takes you several seconds to piece together what he means. The night at the company happy hour, when he’d proposed that the two of you establish some kind of arrangement, you had said it was a bad idea. And then you’d followed him into the bathroom to say yes to it anyway.

But now he’s… changing his mind? Just like that?

“I think we should both just focus on work,” he says, as if it’s that easy. “And stop being so distracted.”

Distracted? Your gut twists. It’s suddenly hard to inhale, like all the air has been sucked out of the room. “So what, then?” you ask, hating that you can’t quite keep the emotion out of your voice. “It’s over? All of it?”

Yoongi’s gaze alights on you for a split second, then flits back to his screen. The realization makes you want to scream: he can’t even fucking look at you. His adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he swallows.

“Look,” he finally sighs. “Whatever it is you think I can give you, I promise you, I can’t.”

A flush of heat creeps up your neck. “What I think?!” you retort, still in disbelief. “You started this, Yoongi, all of this was your idea. And you’re the one who fucking said you l—” He winces as you cut yourself off, your throat constricting too tight to get the words out.

“I was drunk,” he murmurs, unconvincing.

You stare at him for a moment, stunned.

“You know what I think you were?” His gaze finds yours, and you spit the word at him. “Honest.” There’s a flicker of recognition in his face, and it spurs you on. “I think you told the truth for once in your life, without this weird ‘I don’t care about anything’ veneer, and it fucking terrified you.”

Yoongi shakes his head. His voice is soft when he speaks again, and a little uneven. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” you snap.

“Don’t act like you know me.”

You scoff, too angry to stop yourself, unable to bite back the urge to press him until he says something real. “You think I don’t? Really? I guess you just tell everyone you fuck about the time you almost jumped off a bridge?”

He flinches as he glances up at you again, and your heart drops like a lead weight at the look on his face. You immediately clap a hand to your mouth, as if in a too-late attempt to shove the words back in.

“Fuck, Yoongi,” you breathe. “I-I didn’t mean that, I’m just—”

All at once, he’s on his feet, moving towards you until you have no choice but to start walking backwards, in the direction of his office door.

“Here’s what I know.” Yoongi’s voice is firm and oddly calm as he speaks over your fumbled apologies. “I’m an asshole. I’m a workaholic. I’m way too hard on myself. I push people too far, and then I shut them all out. I’m never satisfied. I get bored easily.” He pauses for a moment. “And yes, sometimes I get so fucking sick of myself that I want to jump off a bridge. To put it bluntly, I am not somebody you want to be with. At all.”

Your breath hitches as your back finds purchase against the door, and Yoongi stops, still several paces apart from you. His dark eyes feel like they’re burning into you, glassy with emotion in a way you’ve only seen once before.

“We hooked up a few times,” he says, as if there’s no room for debate. “That’s all. It didn’t mean anything. And it’s over now.”

As his words crash into you, it occurs to you what this feeling is, itching like fire under your skin and squeezing tight at the muscles of your throat: you’re embarrassed.

It’s fucking embarrassing, standing here in an office you’ve been in dozens of times before, trying to beg a man you’re supposed to hate into a single honest conversation, into loving you when he already fucking said he did. Yoongi said he’s in love with you, and now he’s just… standing here, blinking at you like you’re somehow the unreasonable one for thinking that it meant anything at all.

“I guess you’re right,” you barely manage to choke out as your hand brushes over the door handle behind you. Your skin is flushed so hot that it feels cool against your palm. “You are a fucking asshole.”

You don’t wait around to see the look on his face at your remark. You just push the handle down and stumble out into the hallway.

When the Genius Lab door closes behind you, you slam back against it with enough force to knock the air out of your lungs. You press your palms to the wood grain and squeeze your eyes shut, trying to calm down, but that choked up feeling refuses to dissipate. The world feels like it’s closing in around you, white noise roaring so loudly in your ears you can scarcely think.

It takes you several seconds to realize that someone is speaking to you, and your eyes snap open again to find Jungkook standing in the hallway, his brow furrowed like he’s concerned. It’s hard to focus on him, like you can’t quite open your eyes wide enough. Black spots have started to dance in your vision, and you blink a few times, hoping to clear them out.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

You attempt to take in enough air to answer him, but all you can manage are shallow gasps: it’s like everything is stuck. You’re not even crying, you just can’t fucking breathe. The only response to his question that you can give is a slow shake of your head, and then your knees buckle.

Your brain must lose the ability to keep up with the pace of everything that’s happening, because suddenly you register that your palms are pressed flat to the office carpet. Jungkook is kneeling beside you, one hand smoothing circles against the back of your dress. You’re still heaving, trying to breathe, but your chest is squeezed so tight that it’s like it won’t take. You can feel your heartbeat behind your ribs, slamming so fast that it makes your whole body shake, and there’s a buzzing sensation in your fingertips, like TV static.

“Hey, hey.” You shut your eyes again and try to focus on Jungkook’s voice. “I think you’re having a panic attack.”

“I—” you gasp, but the words are stuck, too. I can’t breathe. I don’t know what’s happening. I think I’m dying.

“It’s okay,” he answers quickly, and you nod, as if it might force your mind to believe his words. “You’re okay. Just— I’m gonna breathe with you, okay?” You immediately shake your head, and Jungkook shifts a little closer. “I know it feels like you can’t right now. But look. We’re gonna go slow. In for four.”

I can’t fucking do this, you want to scream, but you dig your numb fingers into the carpet and try to follow his lead. You can hear him take a deep inhale through his nose, and you do your best to match it. One, two, three, four.

Jungkook’s voice comes back, stilted this time. “Hold it for seven.”

You nod, trying to focus on the feeling of the floor beneath you, his hand against your back. Your chest is spasming with a desperate need to keep hyperventilating, but you force the little air you’ve taken in to stay in your lungs, and you count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

“And out for eight.” You can hear Jungkook push a stream of air out of his mouth, and you echo it, though your own airflow feels pathetic in comparison. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

“Can we do that again?” he asks gently, and after a moment, you nod.

You go through the process again and again, and each time it gets a little easier, until you’re finally able to pull yourself up to sit back on your heels. Your head is spinning, your heart still hammering in your chest, but you try to focus on Jungkook, seated cross-legged next to you like he has all the time in the world.

“I think—” you start, and you have to take another breath in before you can get the rest of the words out. A dull ache is beginning to bloom in your temples. Your throat feels like sandpaper. But at least you can breathe. “I think I’m okay now.”

“There’s no rush. Just give it a second,” he says with a nod, and you do, flexing your hands in your lap to try and bring some feeling back.

“Where did you learn to do that?” you ask softly, and the corner of his mouth pulls up into a half-smile.

“My therapist taught me. I used to have really bad panic attacks. Still do, sometimes.”

You blink at him, trying to process the information. It never occurred to you that Baby Star Candy would be the kind of person to have a therapist, or any kind of mental health issues at all. Not when he seems so… well-adjusted.

“Do you need anything?” he offers. “Water?”

You shake your head, not quite ready to be left alone. “I just need this day to be over so I don’t have to fucking be here anymore,” you sigh.

Jungkook makes a face, as if in thought, then shrugs. “How about I drive you home?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “I— I’m the keyholder, JK. It’s literally my first day back, I can’t just leave.”

“Where’s the key?” he asks, pulling himself up to standing in one smooth motion. Your legs feel shaky beneath you, and you gladly accept the hand he extends for support as you slowly right yourself next to him.

“It’s, uh—” you have to think for a second before it comes back to you, your brain still a little scrambled. You’d taken it back from your cover earlier this morning, and now it’s… “In my purse. On my desk.”

With that, Jungkook heads down the hallway towards your desk, and you follow after, slightly unsteady in your high heels. He stands to the side when he gets there first, like he doesn’t want to just dig through your things, and you reach for your purse to fish the key out of the bottom.

“Can I borrow that?” Jungkook asks, extending his palm. You pause for a second, then nervously drop the key into his hand.

Before you can even ask any follow-up questions, he’s disappearing back down the hallway. Your gaze lingers over your desk as you let another cautious breath out, and it feels like you’re moving in slow motion when you grab your laptop and slide it into your purse.

It seems like less than a minute before Jungkook returns again, rapping his knuckles against your desk. “You’re off the hook for tonight.”

“Really?” you ask, incredulous. “What did you do?”

He just shrugs. “Talked to your boss. Told him you weren’t feeling well and wanted to leave early. He said he’d lock up. It’s not a big deal to ask for help sometimes, you know.”

You blink, attempting to keep up, your reaction time slowed enough that it’s like you’re on a five second delay. “Thanks, Jungkook. I guess your therapist taught you that too, huh?”

Jungkook nods without a trace of shame. “Sure did. Now let’s get out of here.”

Nothing about the world around you feels real as you follow Jungkook into the elevator and down to the parking garage. It’s like floating through some strange dream, everything fuzzy and far away. You slip wordlessly into his passenger seat, and it’s only as he pulls out onto the city streets that a creeping sense of dread starts to dot up your spine.

This scene is too familiar, and that thought alone makes your mouth go dry. When you try to swallow, you can feel your throat threatening to constrict again.

“Jungkook,” you manage to choke out, and his eyes flit from the road to your face and back again.

“Everything okay?”

The silence in the car is suddenly deafening. “Can we, uh— put on some music? Just, anything?”

Jungkook looks a little cautious, like he doesn’t want to do too much too fast. “Are you sure?”

You nod, your eyes fluttering closed as you try to remember his stupid breathing pattern. “Please. I… need a distraction.”

“Okay. Sure,” he answers quickly, and you let out a ragged sigh of relief when he leans over to press a button and the car fills with upbeat pop. It takes you a second to place it, and then you blink your eyes open again as a laugh of surprise rips through you.

“Hype Boy, really?”

“What? This is a great song!” Jungkook’s already tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel in time to the beat. “I just learned the dance, too.”

You tip your head back against the seat with another soft giggle. “Sounds like somebody’s about to go viral on TikTok again.”

The two of you settle into silence, and you let yourself be distracted by the music, your brain still cotton-fuzz numb. You’re grateful that Jungkook doesn’t force conversation or babble on the way he normally does, instead choosing to hum along in a way that’s oddly comforting. You count your breaths and watch the city pass by in a blur, until all at once the car is coming to a stop at your apartment complex. The building seems to loom over you as you blink up through the windshield, one hand fumbling for the car door.

Up those stairs is the safety of your apartment. But now that you’re here, it doesn’t feel so reassuring. It’s not like there’s anyone waiting for you on the other side of your front door. No best friend to come over. It occurs to you now that you’re not ready to be alone just yet, but that’s exactly what you’ll be the minute you step out of Jungkook’s car.

The words leave your mouth before you have time to reconsider. “JK, do you want to come up for a bit?”

“Oh.” Jungkook is wide-eyed and blinking when you glance at him, like he wasn’t expecting the invitation. “Uh, yeah. Okay. For a bit.”

It’s a little funny, stepping inside your front door with Jungkook following after, the two of you slipping your shoes off in the hallway, then padding further in. You never pictured this happening, not even when he came to pick you up for Jimin’s concert.

Jungkook cautiously perches on the edge of the couch, like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself, while you continue into the kitchen, calling back over your shoulder. “Do you want something to drink? Water, tea?”

There’s a shuffling sound, like Jungkook is peeling out of his jacket. “Just, uh. Whatever you’re having, I guess.”

“Wine, then,” you answer.

You make short work of cracking open a bottle of red, then grab two glasses before returning to the living room and dropping down on the cushion next to Jungkook. His jacket is slung over the arm of the couch now, leaving him in his usual business casual uniform, a button-down and slacks.

“What a fucking day,” you sigh as you pour Jungkook a glass of wine, then one for yourself. “Thank you again, for… you know. Reminding me how to breathe.”

Jungkook still seems a little nervous as he reaches for his drink. “Yeah, of course.” There’s a moment of silence as you both take a sip, and then he speaks first. “Can I ask—“ he interrupts himself, as if making a correction. “I mean, I don’t want to pry. I know it’s not my business. At all.”

“You want to know why I had a panic attack in the middle of the office?” you offer, and he nods.

“Outside of Yoongi’s lab,” Jungkook finishes quietly, and your heart briefly stalls out at the mere mention of his name.

“It’s a good question,” you murmur as you stare at the liquid swirling in your glass. Jimin’s words suddenly come back to you in a whole new light. Start with the truth.

You glance up at Jungkook again. “Yoongi and I were…” You trail off, unsure what to even call it. Involved? Hooking up? Enemies with benefits? Nothing feels right. “We were something.”

“But not anymore?” Jungkook’s response is immediate. You shake your head.

“No, I guess not.” There’s a dull ache in your chest, like pressing on a fresh bruise, and you try to breathe through it, your gaze flitting down to the hem of your dress. “When we were in LA, he said he loved me. And now he says it didn’t mean anything. That it’s over.”

“Wow,” Jungkook huffs, sounding dazed and a little pissed off. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” you sigh as you sink back against the couch cushion. “Me too.”

It all feels more real, now that you’ve said it out loud. Hurts just as fucking bad. Maybe worse. “And I’m sorry I lied to you. I should’ve just told you, but. I don’t know. I think I wanted to believe I had it all under control.” A sad laugh flutters out of your lungs. “Clearly, I do not.”

“It’s okay,” Jungkook says, and he pauses for a moment, placing his wine glass on the coffee table before he continues. “Were you— I mean, was it… the whole time?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you shrug. “Not the whole time, but. Most of it, I guess. It was like a weird slow burn thing.”

“Got it.”

When you glance over at Jungkook, there’s a distant look in his eyes, like he’s still processing everything. You suppose it’s probably a lot to hear all at once. It feels good to be honest with him after so much time spent keeping secrets. A heat starts to bloom in your face as you take another sip of wine, then set the glass down.

There must still be a lingering post-panic disconnect between your brain and your body, because all of a sudden you’re moving on sheer instinct, without giving it any thought at all. You drop back against the couch cushion again, then tilt yourself to the side until your head is pressed gently into Jungkook’s shoulder.

You wonder if you’re imagining the way he tenses slightly at the contact. You glance up at him through your lashes, but he’s not looking at you, and the expression on his face is hard to judge. There’s a faint scar on his cheek that you’ve never noticed before.

It could be so easy, you realize now. All he’d have to do is turn a little and close the distance. He could cup your jaw in his hand, tilt your chin up towards him, brush his lips against yours. Soft and sweet.

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. At least you wouldn’t be alone.

“It should have been you, Baby Goth,” you hear yourself say.

Silence weighs heavy in the air between you, and then Jungkook speaks.

“That’s not fair.”

It’s like the words snap you out of a trance. You jump back like you’ve just been burned, purposefully sliding over to put as much distance as you can between your bodies on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” you say reflexively, but Jungkook is still staring at the floor. His leg has begun to bounce, like a nervous tick.

“I don’t—” Jungkook starts, and then he pauses, taking a deep breath in before he begins the sentence again. “I don’t want… this. Not if… if it’s not real. Or just a rebound, or whatever.”

Shame rushes up in your chest, makes you hot all over. You can’t exactly say that he’s wrong, but the thought of a brief distraction from the pain was so promising. Now it’s only served to dig you in that much deeper.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you repeat dumbly. You can feel your heartbeat hammering behind your ribs. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just… Fuck, I’m such a mess right now. I keep fucking everything up.”

His gaze finally drifts up to meet yours, and you’ve never seen him look more serious. “You know, Chan said something that stuck with me. When I told him about what happened. He said, ‘if she really wanted to be with you, she already would be.’”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you recoil at the impact. You try to blink away the impending tears as you slowly nod. “Chan’s right,” you whisper, and Jungkook’s mouth pulls into a sad, flat grimace.

“Yeah,” he answers, his voice gone raw. “I thought so too.”

All at once, he’s on his feet and tugging his jacket back on, and you can only sit motionless and watch him. You press a finger to your waterline, trying to catch the tears before they start to spill down your face.

“I’m sorry you had a hard day,” Jungkook says, reaching up to adjust his collar. “And I really do want to be your friend. But I think I just need a little time.” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket, turning over his shoulder to look at you, then quickly averting his gaze again. “We both do.”

“Yeah,” you sniff. “I want to be friends too. But, yeah. You’re right.”

Jungkook keeps his head down as he heads for the entryway. He slips his feet into his shoes, then swings the door open, pausing in the threshold for a final glance back towards you.

“Get some sleep,” he murmurs. You nod. And then the door clicks shut behind him.

~*~

Despite your best attempts and the rest of the bottle of wine, sleep doesn’t come. You stare up at the black of your bedroom ceiling, and it feels like staring at the rubble of every bridge you’ve burned. All from your own choices. The things you said that you shouldn’t have, the things you didn’t do that you should have. All your mess, and all your fault.

You keep your eyes open, because closing them is worse. Closing them is when it all comes back, a looping film strip in your head of everything that’s haunted you, played out in technicolor on the backs of your eyelids.

Extending a mug of coffee to Yoongi on your first day. Stealing food off Jimin’s plate at dinner. Splitting red bean buns with Jungkook.

And then it speeds up.

A locked office door, a stolen set of keys. A four digit code and a smirk. Your fingers gripping the edge of Yoongi’s desk. Dancing close with a dark-haired stranger in a packed club. Yoongi’s hands slipping up your thighs, closing over your throat. The flashing lights and noise of a concert. A full glass of whiskey. Standing outside of a bar in the cold night air. Rain on a windshield. A maple pastry and a paper coffee cup. Seoul lit up at night, cut through by the river. A hotel bed. Yoongi’s hands on the zipper of your dress. Yoongi’s hands on piano keys. Yoongi’s mouth on yours in a conference room, in his shower, in a K-town noraebang. His face pressed into your shoulder on the cab ride home.

And you see yourself, too. Running away. Saying the wrong thing. Fucking everything up, irreparably. Over and over, the movie replays.

Tears slip across the bridge of your nose as you turn onto your side, cheek pressed to the pillow, and wait for morning.

~*~

“There she is!”

Your boss’ greeting rings loud in your ears, and you wince as you duck your head through his office door. He gestures for you to have a seat in the chair across from his desk, and you comply. You can see him taking you in as you sit down, and when his smile falters slightly, you know why: there weren’t enough ice rollers in the world to completely de-puff your face after a sleepless night spent crying yourself dry.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, a little more gently.

You fold your hands in your lap and take a deep breath, willing the words not to get stuck in your throat. You can feel the tension in the room, your knife’s edge poised at the final cord to cut.

“I want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed my time working here,” you begin, doing your best to keep your voice even, squeezing your laced fingers tight to give your mind something to focus on. “But for personal reasons, I think I need to tender my resignation.”

Your boss sits back in his chair, clearly stunned. It takes him a second to recover. “I— wow. Can’t say I saw this coming.” He leans forward again. “It wasn’t something that happened here, was it? Because if we need to report an issue to HR, you should know I take that kind of thing very seriously. I’d hate to see you leave over something we could take care of.”

Another breath in, another squeeze of your hands in your lap. “No, it wasn’t,” you say firmly. “It’s just me. My own stuff. I think… I think maybe I need to leave Seoul for a bit.”

He pauses, considering your words, and you consider them, too. It isn’t a thought you were ever cognizant of having until this moment, but it doesn’t feel like a lie, either. It makes sense. You’ve snapped every tie that once might have kept you tethered to this city. There doesn’t feel like much point in staying, or like there’s anything still here for you.

“Well, good for you,” your boss finally says, his tone serious. “For knowing your own limits. Gotta be a human first, right?” You offer him a half-smile and a nod, and he leans forward to grab a pen off his desk, fiddling absentmindedly with it. “Thinking of going anywhere in particular?”

You shake your head, your smile turning self-conscious. “Hadn’t gotten that far.”

“If I’m overstepping, just tell me to shut up,” he starts, and you can’t help breathing out a laugh. “But you got some rave reviews from the Los Angeles team. Seriously, you blew them away. They asked if it was possible to clone you. Apparently they’ve been looking for an admin for a while, but can’t seem to find anyone who can walk the walk.”

Your eyes go wide as you begin to put the pieces together, and your boss just keeps going.

“I mean, it’s probably a bigger move than what you were looking for. Unless you’re really trying to get away. But you’re such a great asset, I’d love to keep you in the family, if we can.”

He looks at you pointedly, and you swallow around the sudden lump in your throat. “You… can do that?”

Your boss shrugs. “We’d have to get you a visa, but that’s easy enough with a specialty occupation lined up. And we can cover the fees for premium processing so it doesn’t take half a year. But only if it’s something you’re genuinely interested in. If you’re just trying to cut and run, I get it. No hard feelings.”

Your head goes spinning. Los Angeles. It’s about as far away from your mess of a life as you could possibly get. It feels too good to be true, and you drop your gaze to the floor as a tidal wave of guilt surges over you.

You hadn’t planned on this admission, but all at once, the words are coming out of your mouth.

“I lied,” you say, your voice soft, your eyes fixed firmly on the carpet. There’s no way you can look your boss in the face as the truth spills out of you. “On my job application. I don’t have any experience as an administrative assistant. I made it all up, and my reference was fake. I was actually a waitress before this.”

You finally manage a glance up. Your boss’ eyebrows are nearly at his hairline, but he’s quiet.

“It just… doesn’t seem fair to send me off to the Los Angeles team. Not when I don’t even know what I’m doing,” you conclude with an embarrassed grimace.

“You really feel like you don’t?”

His question makes you blink. You don’t know what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. You’re not sure how to respond.

He drops the pen in his hands to press his palms flat to the surface of his desk, as if he means business. “Look, obviously I can’t condone what you did. But I’ll be honest, if anything, that just makes me all the more impressed with your performance. I thought you adjusted quickly even for someone with past experience. To know you were flying blind…” He huffs a laugh of disbelief. “I mean, that’s a fucking crazy thing to do. But you did do it. I’ve seen you working your ass off to keep this office together. And that’s the thing: you have. You’ve met every deadline, kept up with every deliverable. You’ve taken everything we’ve thrown at you and handled it.”

You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, willing it to stop trembling. Fuck, you’d really thought you were done crying.

Your boss shakes his head as he continues. “Maybe if you’d just started, I’d feel differently about this. But I gotta be honest. When I look at your performance the past few months… I don’t give a fuck what your last job was. Because in this job, you’re killing it. And I know you’d do the same in Los Angeles, if you made the decision to go. They want you out there because they’ve already seen what you can do. They know it, and I know it. And I hope that some part of you knows it, too.”

A single tear rolls down your cheek, and you quickly reach up to swipe it away. “Thank you,” you choke out, your voice thick as you try to keep it together. “I seriously can’t tell you how much it means to hear that right now.”

He doesn’t respond right away, like he’s waiting for you to say more, and you take a shaky breath in as the decision solidifies in your head. “I really enjoyed my time with the Los Angeles team. And I would love to transfer there, if they’ll have me.”

Your boss’ mouth pulls into a smug smirk. “Please,” he says dryly. “As soon as they get wind of this, they’re going to beg me to ship you overnight.” You laugh as you dab at your eyes with the edge of your sleeve, and his face softens slightly. “I can’t do overnight. But do you think you can hang on for just a couple more weeks?”

You chase your nod with a gentle sniff. “Yeah. I think I can do that.”

~*~

Time passes quicker than you would’ve expected, split mostly between preparing for your transfer at work and trying to pack your life up into cardboard boxes at home. Apart from those two things, the days feel aimless, and a little unreal. It’s like you’re living in a liminal space, halfway between your old life and the promise of a new one. Your boss offers to hang onto the office key of his own accord, to give you more time to get your things in order, and you gratefully accept the help.

It’s a weird change, no longer having to worry about being the first one at the office and the last one out. No meeting Jungkook at the doors each morning. No fighting with Yoongi to get him to leave at the end of the day. You see relatively little of either of them, save for the occasional meeting or brush of shoulders in the hallway. You’d think losing both of them in one go might be unbearable if you didn’t already have your eyes on the horizon.

Your boss announces your upcoming transfer in the next team meeting, though Yoongi is naturally nowhere to be found. Jungkook’s eyes go as wide as you’ve ever seen them at the news, but he still slips out of the conference room immediately after the meeting wraps, rather than hanging back to talk to you.

You try not to take it personally; you can’t exactly blame him.

Life goes on. Your boss swings by your desk to excitedly share the news that your visa was approved, and you set a final transition date. You sort out the travel, the logistics of shipping your stuff, and lock down a place to sublet in Los Angeles to get you started. It’s admittedly shocking how easy it is to take your old life apart, piece by piece. To draft your escape plan, to run away from it all one final time. To make a clean break.

It’s nearly the end of your last workday in Seoul before you’re able to put a name to the feeling that’s begun to blossom in the pit of your stomach: it’s hope.

“Hey.” Your boss’ voice cuts through your concentration, and you glance up from your laptop to see him leaned up against your desk. “Can you walk to the break room with me for a second? Got a few last-minute questions for you.”

Your eyes go wide, your mind instantly racing, trying to think of what it is you might have forgotten.

“You’re not in trouble,” he says with a laugh, and you nod as you get to your feet, not quite able to believe it. “Just, uh, follow me and put on a happy face. Alright?”

You have no idea what he could possibly mean until you round the corner and a cheer rises up. The rest of your coworkers are standing around the break room in groups, like they’ve been waiting for you, though that doesn’t seem to have stopped them from already partaking in the assortment of food and drinks that’s been set up beside the vending machines. There’s a farewell banner pinned to the wall, signed with well-wishes from what looks to be everyone at the Seoul office, and someone’s turned on a playlist that you realize upon closer listen exclusively features songs about California.

There’s even a cake.

For a moment, you can’t do anything except stand there in the threshold, dumbfounded, as your coworkers clap and laugh.

“I— wow,” is all you can think to say, and you shoot your boss an incredulous look. “Thank you.”

He makes a face. “Hey, I didn’t do this. Thank JK.” Your boss nods across the room. “That kid loves any excuse to throw a party.”

Your heart immediately sinks at the mention, at all this kindness shown to you by the person you’ve arguably treated the worst.

It takes a while to get to him, with nearly every person wanting to stop you for a chat, but you finally manage to make your way over to where Jungkook is loading up a paper plate with so much food that it’s threatening to cave in.

“Make sure you get something to eat before it’s all gone,” he says by way of greeting, gesturing to the catering dishes with an elbow so he can keep both hands on his plate. “It’s really good.”

“Jungkook,” you say softly, and his gaze alights on you for a second before returning back to his food. You don’t think you’re imagining that he looks somewhat nervous. “I really can’t thank you enough. You didn’t have to do any of this.”

He shrugs, taking a few steps over to a nearby table, and you cautiously trail after him. “I didn’t,” he admits as he sets his plate down, then scoots a chair out. “But you deserve a good send-off. It takes a lot of guts to do what you’re doing.”

You shift nervously where you stand. “It’s either that or cowardice. I’ll let you know when I figure out which.”

A small smile tugs at his lips as he digs into his food, and you suddenly feel like you’ve overstayed your welcome. But then he glances up again, speaking through a mouthful. “Well, whatever it is. I hope it works out for you.”

“Thanks, JK.” You do your best to return his smile. “I hope so, too.”

By the time you grab your own plate, you’ve been swept into another group to answer an endless litany of questions about your move. You tell yourself it’s probably for the best to leave Jungkook alone anyway, so you try to stand there and smile, to assure your nosier coworkers that nothing happened; you just needed a change of scenery.

Eventually the conversation shifts, and you find yourself on the outskirts of it, more than a little relieved to no longer be in the hot seat. You sip politely at your drink and nod along, not really paying attention to whatever’s being said, until a tap on your shoulder makes you start, and you turn around.

You nearly drop your cup when you find Min Yoongi staring back at you.

Your eyes had scanned the crowd for his face when you got here, like they do in every room you walk into, but he wasn’t here. He wasn’t, you’re sure of it, and you honestly hadn’t expected him to show at all. Why would he?

But now here he is, standing in front of you, his dark eyes searching yours. And you have no idea what to say to him.

You might be face-to-face in a crowded break room, but he still feels unreachable, like he’s a thousand miles away from you. It occurs to you that after today he’ll be much, much further.

Your lips part, but you can’t get the words out. You don’t even know where to begin. But then he speaks first.

“I just want you to be happy,” he murmurs, and as he says it, his hand brushes yours for less than a second. It’s a touch so brief, so imperceptible, that anyone else would think it was an accident. But you know better.

Yoongi pauses, as if to take one final look at you, and then he slips between two groups of your chatting coworkers, and you lose sight of him again. As if he was never there at all. It’s like you can feel your heart drop to your feet and shatter against the linoleum floor.

It hurts just as much as it did before— watching him walk away, not having the guts to stop him. Even if you did, you know you’d find a way to fuck it up, the way you always do. So you say nothing. Do nothing. The party turns to white noise in your ears as you stare down at the liquid in your cheap plastic cup. And then it hits you all at once: you need to get out of here.

You’re able to slip out of the break room unnoticed, dropping your drink in a trashcan on the way out. You move down the hallway on unsteady legs, and you don’t stop until your hands are pressed flat to the bathroom door to push it open. Shouldering into a stall, you can barely fumble the lock closed behind you before the tears start to spill over.

You don’t try to hold them in. You just slump against the door and let it all pour out of you. You cry until your throat goes thick, until a muted thud blooms at the back of your skull, until you find yourself distantly wondering if you’ll ever stop crying. You’re so fucking sick of crying.

Occasional groups of coworkers drift into the bathroom, and you stifle your sounds each time to avoid detection, your cheek pressed to the stall door as you wait to hear them trickle out again. The interruptions get further and further apart until there’s a long stretch of silence, and your hands shake slightly as you slip the lock open to make your way out to the sink.

The face looking back at you in the mirror is not a pretty sight, all puffy and tear-stained, your makeup a disaster. You reach for a paper towel to try and clean yourself up, and then the bathroom door creaks open a few inches, just enough for Jungkook to stick his head through the gap.

You can’t help smiling a little at his unexpected presence, though it’s more of a grimace, considering you know full well how awful you look right now. “Hey, JK.”

He blinks, eyes widening as he takes in your current state. “I know I’m not supposed to be in here, but… are you okay?”

The laugh you manage is all self-pity. “Kind of a loaded question.”

Jungkook nudges the door open with his foot, and you realize his hands are preoccupied with two paper plates. “Everyone’s gone; I was just cleaning up,” he explains. “I brought cake.”

“Thanks,” you say softly, watching his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he steps inside.

After a moment of internal debate, you turn to press your back to the sink, flattening your palms against the counter and hopping up to sit on it. Jungkook sets the plates between you before following suit, his long legs dangling over the edge of the marble surface. He reaches into his shirt pocket to retrieve two plastic forks, performing the motion with just enough flourish to make you really laugh as he hands you one with a shy smile.

The two of you take your first bites in silence, save for your own sniffling.

“This cake is really good,” you murmur as you chew.

A longer pause settles between you, and you find yourself relieved for the quiet. You figure Jungkook doesn’t need to ask the obvious question, that he’s perfectly capable of putting the pieces together as to what might’ve led you to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry all your makeup off. And any words of comfort he could’ve once offered would only make you feel like even more of a monster right now.

Jungkook has already finished his slice of cake by the time he speaks again. “Did you… hate the party?”

“No, JK,” you respond immediately, the corner of your mouth pulling up in a sad half-smile. “It was wonderful.” Guilt gnaws at the edges of your conscience, and you can’t help but question what you ever did to be worthy of this friendship. Of Jungkook’s kindness, given freely, even when you didn’t deserve it. “Seriously, thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” he answers. You look down just in time to see him extend a leg so he can gently tap his foot against yours. His voice is quieter when it comes back. “I’m really gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you echo, glancing up at him as you return his foot tap with one of your own. “But you’ll be alright.”

Jungkook’s gaze drifts down to the floor, and he nods as you take another bite of cake, his jaw set firm. “Yeah. I will be.”

~*~

As you pack up the last of your things, there’s a lingering feeling in your gut that you can’t quite manage to shake, and you’re not sure why. Maybe Jimin got in your head with all the TV show drama talk. Or maybe it’s your stupid heart, foolishly holding out hope that things could still change, even at the eleventh hour. That it all can’t just… end like this.

But none of the scenarios you’ve dreamed up come true. Yoongi isn’t standing at your apartment door when you swing it open with your suitcase in hand. He doesn’t step out of the cab that pulls up to your complex to take you to the airport. He doesn’t run through the terminal to catch you right before you make it to security.

Yoongi doesn’t stop you. So you go.

chapter nine | masterlist

[sugaimhome]

country house setting - kth - part one

pairing: 19th century taehyung x reader

minors do not interact!!!

warnings (this part): age gap (10 years, readers 18, he’s 28), masturbation (v brief), loads of smut in the next chapter hold ye horses, yandere (? he’s very obsessed with her and her innocence lol), hints towards previous abuse, distant father figure, the messed up society of 19th century britain, biscuits.

part summary: taehyung wasn't looking forward to the isolation of his fathers manor, when you knock his door, that isolation is shattered, he has a new obsession. When taehyung visits your father to introduce himself as his a new neighbor, he makes you an offer you just can not decline.

words: 4.4k

series summary: your isolated manor house has nothing interesting going on. but when the abandoned manor near to yours has a new occupant, things change. taehyung is obsessed with you from the day you first knock his door. he’d do anything for you, even if it meant going against your father’s wishes, even if it meant you losing something very important to your future marriage on the way, something that would force your fathers hand.

part one  part two  part three  masterlist 

explanation of the title: a literacy genre where fictional characters are often isolated and alone living in a country house.

A/N: i’ve been so excited to post this, then suddenly, min yoongi decides to post a picture with the same vibes... least to say I changed some names around to better suit next chapters 😫😫 he will be appearing more than once in this story. this hasn’t been proof read by anyone but me so sorry about that 😶‍🌫️ i love reader so much i just want to protect her 🥺 also the writing on the banner is jane austens writing, what a queen. I did try and copy the speaking of the time a little but I think I failed 😀

“A ball?” you ask, hope filling every inch of your heart, you’d never been to a ball, you were dying to go “Oh, father, we must go” It had been over two months since you’d properly left the house, and that had only been to the local market. You could only paint the garden so many times before going mad.

“We won’t be going to Min Yoongi’s ball” he replies, not looking up from the letter he’s holding. He sounds so resigned you wonder if he even heard you. 

“But father-” you begin, hoping to say your piece to him.

“No Y/N” his answer is blunt, you know it was final; there's no point arguing with him when he’s in one of these moods, it will only end with you getting hurt. 

“Okay”. This had been the third ball invitation this week and the third rejection from your father. You sigh. How were you ever to find a husband if you didn’t socialise? All the rich men would have found young brides now, and you, at the age of 18 would be seen as too old. The two of you stand in awkward silence for a while as he flips through his letters. 

“Someone is making residence in the manor beyond the brook.” he tells you, licking his finger to separate two pieces of paper from each other. 

“Really?” you ask. “I hope it’s a family, I would love a friend so close!”

“It’s a single man, according to the Park family, they are acquaintances with him in London.”

“London!?” you exclaim, you had been disappointed by the lack of friends the move in would bring but a new excitement had begun with the aspect of the man being from London. You had so many questions about the place. It was another world to you. “When does he move in?”

“You must not bombard him with your incessant questions.” he complains, wiggling a finger at you without looking up at you.

“I only wish to make him a cake, or maybe some biscuits” you admit, trying to lace honesty into your voice.

Your father sighs, putting down his papers and turning to you. “The 10th”

“But father, that is today!” you think he’s playing with you. “Don’t be mean”

“Read the letter if you do not believe your own father.”

The letter did in fact say the 10th. You’re almost jumping on your feet, but that would be impolite so instead you pull the letter, signed by the park jimin your father had always spoken about to your chest. “What great news” you say, trying to hide the excitement in your voice. “If you don’t mind, father, I will begin to make biscuits for him now”

“Do as you please” he replies, not really listening, still flicking through the pages in front of him. Curtsying you leave the room, the letter balled up in your fist. You make a bee-line for the kitchen, you’d get Annie to put the oven on straight away.

*** 

Taehyung had been hesitant to move back to the country. When his father had died 4 years ago he’d left his childhood home in his inheritance. Taehyung had decided that after so long it was time to return home after nearly 10 years in London. Home was a loose term. The manor had been miss kept, the garden overgrown, the surfaces dusty. Upon his early morning entrance to the house he had been ushered in by an elderly maid, Victoria was her name, he only vaguely remembered her. Apparently, he'd been paying her a monthly wage to maintain the place since his father had died. She hadn't been doing a too-great job. Though he was grateful that the house wasn't entirely empty when he arrived. Victoria had made him tea, lit his fire and explained to him that she was happy someone was living in the house again. She left, explaining she lived in the town across and had a family now. He granted her a smile as she went.

With the door locked shut and Victoria gone the only sound the house offered was the low snapping and crackling of the flames. It was so different to London, there was always something going on, someone coming to visit him, a servant cleaning or, even in the silent moments, the sound of the street at the end of his carriage-way. He missed it already. 

Yet the quiet of the house offered an odd privacy and an odd tranquility that he had missed. It dawned on him that he could do anything here and the only witness would be the flames of this fire and the wildflowers that had overtaken the garden. It gave him a sense of freedom.

Leaning back in his chair, cup of tea in one hand the other lying across his thigh. He relaxed in the blissful, slightly creepy, silence until the door knocked. He sighs. Maybe he wasn't as isolated as he thought. Nearly forgetting that no one is here to open the door for him as he had been so used to in London he quickly shoots from his chair. For a moment he struggled to open the front door, Victoria had locked him in it seemed. 

"Give me a moment!" he shouts, hoping his visitor hasn't already left.

He finds a key hanging from one of the plant pots. What an odd place. The door unlocks with relative ease and as he pulls it open he peeks his head around the door.

A teenager. He has opened the door to an unaccompanied female teenager who seems to have a box of biscuits. "Good Evening" she curtsies, the too small corset she's wearing almost over spilling her breasts. He gulps. "I live in the manor across the brook" she explains to him, he can hear the unease in her voice. The naivety and innocence. "I brought you biscuits."

She extends the box to him at arms length, squeezing her breasts together in the process. Was she doing this on purpose? "Thank you," he smiles, taking the box from her. "Would you like to come in?" When she nods he pulls the door open entirely, displaying the very dusty entryway. "Do excuse the disorder, as you can imagine it hasn't been well looked after" 

"I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said" she admits, purposely keeping her eyes away from the dust. He appreciates the small action. She scans the reception hall, obviously waiting for him to lead her through to a social area. "My name is Y/N" she tells him as he leads her into the living area. When he doesn’t immediately reply she asks, "Would it be impolite to ask yours?"

She's oddly quiet, he probably wouldn't have heard her voice if he were in the hustle of London "Taehyung" he replies. "My father used to own this manor. He died four years ago, would you have known him?" 

"I would have been 14 then, with little consideration of what was going on around me" Y/N replies. "I am sorry for your loss"

She was 18. Many questions filled his head. "Is your father a respectable man?" He asks her. "Is that whom you live with?"

"Oh, yes, as respectable as yours once was I should imagine" she replies, he turns to look at her, a little blush covers her cheeks.

"Then you would have been in London for the season this year" he asks, wondering if he had ever crossed paths with her.

"I have never been to London," she replies. "Though, I have heard it is exquisite."

An Eighteen year-old who has never seen London. "Then you must have an arranged marriage with a local man. I hope that is going well for you"

There is a pause between his statement and her reply. "My father does not have time to threat over my marital arrangements"

He is shocked, he had not heard of such a scandalous thing in his life. He feels sorry for her. Puzzled, he leads her into the living room where she gently sits down on a sofa he desperately hopes is not dusty. When no little particles rise to meet the sun he assumes he is safe. "I assume you'd like one of these biscuits" he asks her, turning around to place them on the small, delicately decorated table. When he turned around she'd moved, as quietly as a mouse, to the fireplace. Her dress was so close to the flames. Y/N's attention does not seem to be upon the fire though but more towards the painting placed above him. 

"This is not an appropriate place for such a lovely painting." she turns to him. Instinctively he walks up beside her, looking at the painting. "The heat will ruin the watercolour" 

There's a pout on her lips, this was obviously something she was very passionate about. "This is Thomas Girtin" she comments, reaching out and ghosting the frame of the painting with her fingers, above her finger is the signature of this Thomas Girtin. "It is a rare and expensive piece."

Taehyung is no longer staring at the painting but rather at her. He was surprised at her confidence to come into a strangers house and advise them on both the placement of their paintings and the stupidly of it. He smirks. "I'll have it moved at soon as possible, Miss Y/N. I am sure it will look a lot nicer in your premises"

"No, sir" she exclaims, stepping back from the painting and turning to look at him. "That is not what my intentions were when telling you about this piece."

"Perhaps it will persuade you to bring me more of those biscuits," Taehyung replies. He thought of his moment on the chair earlier, when he had the small epiphany of the freedom this house would bring him, how he could get away with anything. He places a hand on the small of her back and leads her back towards the front door. Grabbing two biscuits on his way past and passing one to her. With the hand on her back, she seems to have silenced a bit. "It's nearly dark, I would like to walk you back across the brook." 

"You do too much, Sir. I grew up here. I know quite well my way across the brook" Y/N defends. Taehyung is adamant as he places his boots on, and his overcoat. 

"So did I. I insist" he replies. "I left only 10 years ago, at your age. I'm sure I will find my way back quite safely." She doesn't reply, just stands in front of him with her arms crossed. "If you'd had a season in London you'd know well this is what a true gentleman is supposed to do." 

She blushes at the mention of a season in London. It only gives Taehyung an inflated feeling of power. It is clear that this young woman had no idea how to navigate herself around men, or perhaps other humans. She was as isolated as he was when he had lived in this place. He felt an unwelcome feeling of wanting to show her everything.

*** 

Taehyung had, clearly, known his way around the grounds of both his and your land. As he left you at the bottom of the steps to your mansion, offering you a little smile and a wave as you climbed the steps, he had mentioned something about the biscuits running out soon, his maid had family and once he had shared with them, he'd need more in at least two days' time. You reached the top, turning to see if he'd moved away, he had not. He bows and you curtsy before you slip into the warmth of your home.

As soon as you close the door you place your back against it, as if to block him out. That was not what you had imagined him to look like, you had expected a man in his early forties, perhaps a similar age to your father. You had not expected a young man, a man who's waistcoat fit snugly around his figure, a man who had beautiful fluffy hair. With eyes as dark as the chocolate you so rarely had. Your heart had been beating too fast the whole time you were there, that's what happened to all the women in the books you read when they loved someone, but surely that was over dramatic? Too soon? You wished you had someone to ask but it was just you and your father here now and you doubted he had the answer to this. 

The real problem did not lie in your beating heart, nor in the new strange emotion you felt but rather in the fact that when he had asked you if you'd bring more biscuits, you'd said you could bring some the very next day. And after all of that, you hadn't asked him a single question about London. Sighing, you make sure your door is locked before heading up to your chamber. The rest of the house is dead quiet, you can’t bring yourself to care anyways. You didn’t particularly want to see your father. You'd get up early in the morning and make more biscuits.

***

When Taehyung woke up the next morning he realised two things.

that it would be rude of him to not go introduce himself to Y/N's father, they were neighbors now after all.

that he had some very interesting dreams last night and the majority of them involved Y/N. He had woken up with a very prominent erection. He would need to see her again and soon.

He sat up in bed, having disregarded the bedclothes last night. He was alone, it wasn't like there was a risk of being indecent, plus he'd needed to touch himself. Taehyung could see his reflection in the mirror opposite the bed. Whilst looking at himself he wonders if she'd be able to handle the size of him. He places his hand around his dick, dragging it up and down in a loose grip- pretending his hand is Y/N. He assumes she is a virgin - only tightening his grip with this thought. He tries to imagine how she'd sound, but that's something he won't be able to tell until the moment comes, he would make that moment happen, he'd do anything to insure it. What would he have to do, and to what extent, to make Y/N his? The movement of his hand along his dick is almost painful now. Balls tightening more and more with every thrust his hips make into his hand. He cums, shooting white liquid up his stomach. It runs through the valley of his abdominal muscles like a river between two mountains. He would never look at Y/N the same again. In less than an hour he would be introducing himself to her father with the traces of his cum on his stomach the thought of it oddly turned him on. Instead, he headed for the bathroom where he would wash it off. There were times for such things and they weren't for when he was introducing himself to an elder.

***  

An hour after you'd baked the biscuits you were standing in your chamber, paintbrush between your teeth, painting a figure into one of your old landscape photos of the house across the brook. You hated to admit that the figure was Taehyung, but it only made sense, you hadn't stopped thinking of him.

You step back from the painting, wondering what it was that was missing exactly. There was Taehyung in his blue overcoat as he had been yesterday. It doesn’t seem enough. You can hardly tell it's him in the picture but if you had studied his figure, as you had plenty of times in the hour you had with him, you would know it was him.

There's a knocking at the door downstairs, it echoes around the whole mansion like the chiming of bells. Climbing over the pots and brushes you have thrown across your room, you hang your head from the open window. From this angle you can't see the front door but you can see the carriage drive. It's empty. Who would visit who didn't have a carriage?

Not caring much about your paint splattered dress you step from your room. Vaguely aware of the paint on your face, you choose to ignore it as you race down the stairs. At the door is your father, who is just opening it as you make it to the landing. However you're much more interested in what's behind the door. Your father obviously doesn't connect the dots as he sees the young man standing at the top of your steps. You, however, become much more worried about the current state of your appearance. "Good morning sir, I'm Kim Taehyung" 

Your father stares at him blankly as Taehyung offers his hand to shake. "The new gentleman across the brook?" He asks. Nodding Taehyung smiles at your father, perfectly white teeth on show. From where you're standing he can't seem to see you. You debate running back upstairs before your father lets him in. But you're too late, your father's shaking his hand and pulling him through the door at the same time. There's no hiding now. "My God Y/N!" your father exclaims at seeing you. "I told you not to wear such disgraceful garments out of your room! you'll have to excuse her" he turns to Taehyung, "she's not very well socialised."

You blush, Taehyung must notice you backing away. "It's really not a worry sir, I am already acquaintances with your daughter, she brought me biscuits yesterday evening, I suppose under your instructions"

If your father was to take credit for your ideas, you would have cried, instead your father explodes "I did not advise such an act! I apologise for her rogue mannerisms." You knew he had not been listening to you yesterday. As the pair walk past the bottom of the stairs, therefore past you, Taehyung rolls his eyes and then winks at you. 

"I very much enjoyed the biscuits" he announces, it's a response to your father, but he's looking at you as he says it. Tickling erupts on the inside of your stomach. You place a hand on it, having never felt this feeling before. Taehyung watches your hand as it lands on your abdomen. You don't understand why but he's smirking as he follows your father into the study. It dawns upon you that you do not have a great understanding of the outside world nor the feelings that Taehyung has brung with it. The two men disappear behind the study door, and you run over to place your ear to the key-hole.

“Does she paint?” he asks your father, why this isn’t a question he can just ask you is unbeknownst to you.

“I believe so” your father mumbles, the topic of his daughter seems to put him in a foul mood.

“You believe so?” Taehyung sounds upset, as if the response he had received wasn’t enough.

“There becomes a stage in a man's life when he stops caring about the women around him. He stops caring about silly things like paintings. You understand me don’t you.”

“I don’t believe I do, sir,” Taehyung replies. There's a harshness to his voice you had yet to have heard. You bring a hand up to cover the huff of surprise your mouth admits. If you were to talk back to your father like that you’d be slapped and denied food for a day. When your father doesn’t reply Taehyung continues. “I would like to view her paintings if you would permit it.”

“Of course,” Your father replies, annoyed. Then he asks Taehyung a question using so many business words you give up trying to listen to their conversation and focus more, or panic more, on the fact Taehyung was coming to view your paintings. There seems to be no other option than to sprint up the stairs and at least try to tidy it up a little. 

You’re in the middle of stuffing an old awful painting under your bed when the door knocks. “Give me a moment father and I’ll be out!” you shout, trying to be oblivious after eavesdropping.

“It’s Taehyung,” he replies. “May I come in”

You pause before answering. You could probably tell him to go away and he would. “Oh! Come in!” You’re up from under your bed now. Currently the main painting on display was the one with him in, you figured that he wouldn’t have looked in a mirror long enough to tell that it was his figure anyway. It was still slightly embarrassing. The door knob twisted and he filled the doorway with his figure.

“This is your chamber and workroom?!” was the first thing he asked, you blush, embarrassed both with the fact he was in the only place you stood naked each night, and that he was judging your way of life.

“It’s not ideal.” you reply, deciding to go for the truth. “I tried painting in the parlor but father was not best pleased.”

He nods his head but doesn’t reply to you, beginning to walk around your room of paintings. Wildflowers. Your father at his desk. A deer in snow. The view of the fields beyond from your window. You're shaking. Stopping at the painting you were most dreading, he tilts his head.

“Are they...” he pauses and his lip curves to the side, “kissing?”

"Um" you begin. "Is it off?" no longer caring that it's him and more concerned with your painting. "Her neck is at the wrong angle isn't it!" you exclaim, you're next to him now contemplating the painting together, as you had done with the portrait over his fireplace. This had been one of your very first paintings of people, you’d read from a men's guide to kissing that you had brought from one of the second hand stores in the town. It was the best you could do, you’d never seen two people kiss before. 

Taehyung moves on from that painting to the next, your most recent painting, the one with him in it. You daren’t look at him to see his reaction, instead you wipe a little paint off the bottom of the frame, hoping to distract him from, well, himself.

“I like this one” he smiles, “though I think it's missing something”

You’re too scared to reply to him so instead you just nod your head. It’s funny how he thought the same as you. “You capture the house really well, and the blue of my coat.”

Hands shaking you go to apologise to him. It wasn’t fair of you to paint him without his permission, but he’s moving back to the kissing scene again. Following behind him like a shadow you both end up staring at the painting. You’re aware of him looking at you from the corner of his eye. Your breath catches in your throat. Down the stairs you can hear your father moving about in his study. The rest of the house seems to be in an anxious science, holding its breath, as if it expects something to happen. Do you expect something to happen? He fully turns to you, his focus no longer on the painting, placing one of his hands on your shoulder. Your body freezes, though warmth spreads down your arm and into your body where his hand touches your dress. “Taehyung?” you're aware that your voice sounds so quiet in the greatness of the room. 

He pushes your shoulder slightly so you’re facing him. The whole room blurs and it's only him that you can see. He's like an angel sent from God, his bright light blinds you. “I could show you, Y/N”

Show you what? There's so much in this world that you want to see, want to experience. “Show me what?” you ask him, your brain is too innocent, too behind to pick up on what Taehyung really means. 

“How to kiss, then after that” he pauses, looking at his small figure in the picture behind you. “I could show you anything” lessening the grip he has on your shoulders. You feel no pressure in your answer, you could say no, he’s so close to you. 

“I’d like that” you reply, your mouth staying slightly agape at the eagerness in your tone, you hadn’t realised you were so keen. Smiling, Taehyung brings his thumb up to his mouth, he runs it between his lips, as if to wet them with his spit, then he’s bringing it to your face. This wasn’t how you imagined a kiss to be and, instinctively, step back. 

“Don’t worry Y/N, this isn’t a kiss, I am wiping paint off your cheek” his thumb makes contact with your skin and a blush rushes up to your cheeks. Why were you so responsive to his touch? “I won’t kiss you today”

Your lip sticks out in immediate disappointment, “I want you to think on it more” he admits. “You only get one first kiss.” 

“How long do I have to think about it?” you ask, you were hit by the insufferable feeling of being so naïve, so behind where you should be in the experience of your life, that it was embarrassing. You’re sure a kiss will solve this. You’re sure Taehyung will solve this.

“Tomorrow” he has removed his thumb from your cheek now, but his other hand is caressing your face. He runs slow circles between your eye and your hair and, nature guiding you, you lean into his touch further. This, you realise, is what intimacy was. You had once read the definition in a dictionary

close familiarity or friendship.

When you had first read it, you had realised that you had never had any intimacy with anyone. It was as foreign to you as flying was to a dog, or walking was to a baby. Your eyes are wide in shock, your legs only just holding your weight up. Taehyung is smiling at you softly when he removes his hand. Your body is as attached to this area of your floor as a tree to soil. “I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow” he steps over a paint brush and pot, you want to stop him but your tongue has been stolen from you. He’s at your door now, pulling it shut behind him. He’s hidden behind the near closed door when he softly says “I’ll show you everything, Y/N”

Then he’s gone. 

You hear the front door shut. 

Without his biscuits. 

thank you for reading!

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

[weedburglar]

Perv

Doug Remer x Reader | 18+ MDNI

plot: Remer is a huge perv 🤷🏻‍♂️ that’s all

cw: unprotected sex, p in v, cowgirl, degrading, teasing, dom!(bratty?)reader, sub!remer, daccryphilia, cock warming

word count/read time: 1,555 words/10 mins

notes: This is the first fic I’ve written in like 7 years and my first and only fic was….something….and this is my first time writing smut😨 reader is afab

READER POV

You’ve been living with Coop and Remer a few years after they had already moved in. You were struggling to find a place to stay especially with how little you were paid, so they offered you the spare room they had upstairs. Luckily you guys have been friends for a while so this wasn’t any problem. After a few months of living with them, you’ve started to develop a crush for Remer. You always thought he was cute but it might’ve been after living with him, seeing him in a domestic way really made you have a soft spot for him.

You, Coop, and Remer always took turns doing chores. When it came to making dinner, it was usually always you. Last time Coop and Remer tried making it one night, you had to get a pillow off the couch and fan the smoke out the window then you had to scrap off…whatever was on that pan. It took forever.

Tonight you were trying to make dinner. When you went to look in the fridge you realized Coop didn’t go food shopping as this week it was his job. Closing the door with a sigh, you went up to Remer’s room and knocked on the door. You could hear a muffled “Come in” from inside. You went inside and told Remer, “Hey Coop DIDNT go food shopping this week so I’m going to the store to at least get dinner for tonight. I’ll be back in a bit.” He was laying in bed with his laptop and turned his head to you, “Alright, drive safe.” He gave a slight smile. You left and shut the door and walked to your car, starting to and driving off.

REMER POV

Remer was horny. Before you walked in he was actually watching porn, trying to get it up. But all he could think about was YOU. He loves everything about you, your smile, your laugh, your caring personality, everything. As soon as he saw your car pull out of the driveway he had an idea. He didn’t know if he should go through with it, but he was too horny and needed to get it taken care of.

He walked to your room, right across from his. He slowly opened the door, even though he knew you weren’t here and shut it. He started to open your drawers, looking for your underwear. He eventually found a pair and had wide eyes. Was he really gonna do this? Whatever. As he held it he started to palm himself through his boxers, then he got another idea. He looked over at your bed and slowly walked over to it. He took off his boxers, leaving them on the floor. He got on your bed, laid down and started to jack off. He held his cock in one hand and had your underwear in the other, glancing at it every once in a while. He started to sniff them, getting your sent mixed with your laundry detergent. He started to pump faster, he was getting close

READER POV

You pulled into the driveway and left the car. You opened the trunk so you could get the groceries. You realized the door was unlocked so you just let yourself in. You walked to the kitchen counter and set the bags down with a huff. You walked to Remer’s room to tell him you were home. You knocked on the door and didn’t hear anything so you let yourself in, and you didn’t see him. You checked the living room, the garage, Coops room, even the bathrooms. You couldn’t find him anywhere. You decided to go to your room to get your phone off the charger so you could text him. You opens the door and saw him, jerking off, and holding your underwear.

You don’t know where the confidence came from, maybe just because you were turned on, you were just frustrated and needed to release the anger, who knows? But all you know is that you’ve never gotten into a room so fast. You walk over to Remer and softly say, “Do you want me to help you Doug?” His eyes widened, still shocked from the embarrassing situation he got himself in. “Uh..y—yes please.” He looks at you with desperation, his face turning bright red.

You slowly start to strip, taking your clothing off one by one just to tease him. The sight you saw was beautiful, you could see he was starting to sweat, his dick leaking with precum begging to be touched. Eventually you’re standing there finally nude, you decide to keep teasing him. You crouch down to his level and slowly start to pump him using his precum as lube. He bucks his hips up and whines as if begging you to go faster. “P—please (y/n)“ You don’t listen and you go slower.

You lean your head on the bed and cock your head slightly, “I’m sorry, what was that?”. He looks at you with glossy eyes and has a look that’s pleading with you. You noticed this and decide to stop completely. He becomes a mess “Wh—what’re you doing? Please--please I’m begging you-please keep going!” He starts pleading. You place you hands under your head supporting it, “Why should I? You’re being such a slut, stealing my stuff, jacking off in my room? Why should I reward such behavior?”

He starts to get antsy with tears welling in his eyes, his dick throbbing “Please please I’m so sorry! I’ll be good I promise p—please I’ll be good!” he slightly bucks his hips up. “Good boy. I guess I’ll touch you.” You start to slowly stroke his cock, “Ah—Ah yes, feels so good. Ple--please go faster!” his word slurring together, him whimpering, almost sounding feminine. He shits his eyes and his mouth is slightly agape. You start to go faster, your cunt also throbbing at the sight before you.

He opens his eyes slightly to look at you, “Baby I—I need to feel you please”. You cock your head slightly again slowing down, acting like you don’t know what he’s insinuating, “I’m jerking you off, what else do you want? Tell me”. He whines “I—I—wanna be inside you, ple— please.” He bucks his hip up. You decided to give him what he wanted, giving you a perfect opportunity to get off as well. You get up from the side of the bed and get on top of him. You can hear his breath hitch as you’re getting on. You honestly can’t wait anymore, as much as you’d like to keep teasing him.

You slowly sink onto him, earning moans from both of you. You start to go slow, taking you time with him. He tries to buck his hips again but you force his hips down “Don’t.” getting stern. You slowly bounce up and down. Remer starts to whine and begs “Augh F—Fuck…Please—please go faster please!” At this point the annoyance you had for him had vanished, being dominated by pleasure. You start to pick up the pace. Remer asks in between moans “C—can I touch your clit pl—please?”. You nod, unable to convey any words at the moment. He eagerly reaches his hand toward your throbbing clit and starts to circle it with his thumb. The added pleasure makes you moan louder, and in turn makes you bounce on him faster, feeling him hit your g spot. Remer chokes and whines out “I—I’m gonna—“ you look him in the eyes and sternly say “Not yet”.

You keep bouncing, and that mixed with Remer playing with your clit, you can feel your climax coming. Remer has tears in his eyes, “p—please—please baby—ah— I’ve been good—lemme cum in you, wanna fill you up” his words slurring together, dangerously close to his orgasm. “Yes, yes cum in me.” You notice you’re on the edge and knowing how badly Remer wanted to come, you tell him, looking at him with hooded lids, “Cum for my baby”. That’s all he needed to hear, he cried out your name and threw his head back while one hand on your hip and one still playing with your clit, pumping his load into you without hesitation. The feeling of his hot seed flowing into you made your knot snap and your orgasm soon following, throwing your head back and moaning out Remer’s name. You start to slow down your pace, eventually coming to a stop. You and Remer stay as you are for a minute, catching your breaths. You start to slowly lay on top of Remer with your head in the crook of his neck, both of you still panting.

Remer says, still slightly panting, “Th—Thank you for helping me.” He turns his head from embarrassment. “Hey, no need to be embarrassed.” You softly grab the side of his face and turn it to face you. You confesse “Honestly, I’ve wanted to do this for a while, I really like you Doug”. His eyes widen, “Really?” you chuckle “Yeah really”. He pulled you into a kiss, “I’ve liked you since you first moved in, guess I should’ve made a move sooner”. You both giggle and you start to get off him, he asked “Wait actually, can you..stay on?” You smile and go back down, both of you drifting off to sleep in each others arms.

[lookismfanfics]

Jay x Daniel Older sister (they are about 10 mins apart)

So when Daniel and the reader transfer to the school, Jay takes notice to both of them. Jay and Daniel become best friends and he slowly sees himself falling in love with his best friends sister. Daniel is slightly overprotective of the reader since he had such a deep relationship with her but realizes Jay is genuinely nice and allows him to date his sister.

Can you please write so people with colored-skin can apply to it as well? So just mainly no blushing? Thank you! Love your writing by the way ❤️

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞...?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

Warnings: Jealousy, mentions of bullying, sibling-ness. Also… the POV switches from 3rd to 2nd POV.

Jay Hong x Fem!Reader (who is also Daniel Park’s twin~)

𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐯 ❦ It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Daniel Park was different.

❦ Good-looking, charming… even a little secretive.

❦ From the moment we walked into the room all eyes were on him… ranging from the cautious, steely eyes of the jocks; to the love-stuck, infatuated gazes of the girls.

❦ Jay was one of the people to notice Daniel. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.

❦ Daniel was handsome. He seemed like to guy to have resources at his disposal, like Jay. And yet he was kind to everyone… protective of girls and outcasts… a very confusing person.

❦ And maybe Jay had noticed his clothes were a little rough… but when it was really pointed out and suddenly Daniel’s dignity was on the line, Jay affirmed he would do something about it.

❦ Of course he was interested in this new transfer student.

❦ …Of course he was fascinated by his selflessness and seemingly endless kindness.

❦ So that day when Jay decided he would make a move— show Daniel that he wanted to be friends, he was surprised.

❦ The street glowed orange and yellow, the sun’s rays gently warming Jay’s numb hands that clasped around the duffel bag.

❦ He sees Daniel walking down the pavement, his impressive form highlighted by the sunset’s colors. Even if he hardly knows him, Jay wants Daniel to have a decent birthday. He’s not certain why… but he needs this to work out.

❦ And Daniel perks up, eyes widening with recognition. He smiles, and calls out in a voice that Jay senses will become a source of comfort:

(aYo why is this turning into Daniel x Jay…?)

❦ “Oh… Jay! You live around here too…?”

❦ Jay doesn’t say anything, just tosses the bag on the ground and smiles.

❦ And there’s the real birthday surprise…

❦ “Daniel?”

❦ A girl’s voice.

❦ “Who’s this?”

❦ Daniel is crouched on the ground, rummaging through the bag and exclaiming surprised comments. And as much as Jay wants reply to him- he’s all of a sudden distracted.

❦ “O-Oh… (Y/N)! This is Jay, from my class.”

❦ Jay feels his stomach drop. Who’s (Y/N)?

❦ She stands behind Daniel, glancing down dubiously at the duffel bag before glancing up at Jay. She’s pretty.

❦ “What’s this for…?” She asks quietly, staring at the back of Daniel’s head.

❦ “Jay, you knew it was our birthday…?”

❦ “…”

❦ Jay is panicking-

❦ 🚨 🚨 🚨

❦ “Our” birthday? What does he mean…? Jay can feel his lips parting, his mouth intaking the warm air as he tries to steady his breathing.

❦ “…” “Huh? Oh! You didn’t know I had a sister? Ah- she’s in a different class… beauty department.”

❦ Beauty department… it suits her.

❦ “Oh, you think so?” Daniel laughs. Beside him, still eyeing Jay with suspicion, is (Y/N).

❦ “I’m a little hurt you didn’t mention me… but anyway. I’m sorry Jay, but we really can’t accept this…”

❦ Jay nods his head rapidly.

❦ Her previous look of confusion is slowly molded into one of tentative understanding. Glossy lips tilting upwards into a soft smile.

❦ “You were throwing them out…?”

❦ Daniel starts translating then… all to which Jay nods.

❦ And as much as he wishes he could say something else… or watch him try on the clothes… or genuinely ask if they could be friends…

❦ Jay can’t stay. Suddenly he feels a drop of guilt in his stomach.

❦ No birthday gift for (Y/N)…

❦ No birthday gift for Daniel’s twin…

𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐯

❦ After that… Jay caught himself staring during lunch breaks.

❦ He was getting close with Daniel… really close actually. There was a warm weight in his chest knowing that he had a friend.

❦ And although Daniel was great, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself for not knowing about you.

❦ I mean… really? How was he supposed to know?

❦ He hadn’t noticed that you two walked together after school, or exchanged hushed whispers in the hall. Why would he…?

❦ But now that he was aware, Jay couldn’t make eye contact. Honestly— he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not even when you called him out on it.

❦ You found Jay endearing… he was a nice boy. Now you didn’t see any harm in him being Danny’s friend.

❦ He started hanging around more often… tagging along on your walk homewards. Studying with your idiot of a brother, who blatantly refused your help. (You’re still siblings after all.)

❦ Jay found himself in the middle of several sibling banters. You would most commonly get on him for sleeping in class… telling him how irresponsible and unfair it was. Whatever that meant.

❦ Even if he never said anything, you found Jay’s company to be very enjoyable. By the day you were beginning to understand what he was trying to say more and more.

❦ Deciphering his mannerisms and translating them into words hadn’t come to you as easily as it had to Danny.

❦ But you and your brother were used to exchanging silent words.

❦ You had done it before… back home with Eomma. Whenever your brother wanted to hide something… or didn’t want your mother to worry.

❦ Silent words were exchanged, looks that said “are you sure?” and “please don’t tell.”

❦ You had told Daniel how guilty you were for not doing anything… and for not standing up for him. But Daniel, as imperfect as he was, never wanted to drag you into his messes.

❦ He never, ever, wanted you to get hurt.

❦ Maybe it was a twin thing… “telepathy” or whatever. You could understand Danny’s silent sentences, and he could understand yours.

❦ So it was natural that you began to pick up onto Jay’s own wordless language.

❦ As previously stated… Daniel doesn’t want his sister to get hurt.

❦ He was the man of the house (sort of) and he should be the one to take the bullets for her.

❦ Especially now that he had two bodies, and his twin was the only person he could confide in.

❦ You disagree… “Danny, I’m older. I can handle myself.”

❦ You smirk to yourself, shouldering your backpack and walking forward with more confidence.

❦ Daniel watches as your curls bounce in rhythm with your step. He tries to control his smile by forming it into a frown.

❦ “That’s not a fair excuse. And I’m serious… I don’t want you walking home by yourself.”

❦ Your pace slows and matches up with your little hyeongje.

❦ “Fine…” some silence lapses between the two of you. “Are you and Jay still hanging out?”

❦ It feels weird for you to look up at your brother… seeing as he’s now a six-foot monster. To be fair, you know he’s still growing in his alter ego, but it feels odd nonetheless.

❦ Daniel casts you a weird side-eye, feeling a drop to his stomach. “Yeah, we are. Why wouldn’t we be?”

❦ You shrug your shoulders and keep waking forward, “You just never invite him over. It’s weird… aren’t pretty-boys supposed to hang out at the mall or each others houses?”

❦ Danny shrugs his shoulders, staring down at the pavement.

❦ “I wouldn’t know…” he trails off as you walk ahead into the house. And then as he’s kicking off his shoes, it dawns on him.

❦ Did… his sister… just call Jay… his new best friend… a pretty boy…?

❦ 👺👺

❦ “Hey (Y/N)—” “Shut it imposter-boy.”

❦ You shake his original body’s shoulders, paying little attention to his new body that slumps sleepily to the floor.

❦ Little Danny blinks up at you, and you hand him his glasses, “There’s my little brother.”

❦ Daniel cares about you too much to let you go without a fight. After all, it’s his twin sister. The only person he can be open with. One of the only people he feels obligated to protect.

❦ Jay also cares too much about you to let you get hurt. After all, you are his best friend’s twin sister. One of the only people who understands him. One of the only people he wants to let in to his secrets.

❦ He can’t pin the moment when he began viewing you differently. At first you were just Daniel’s sister. And then you were his friend, too.

❦ After a while, he caught himself thinking of you. You specifically.

❦ Shyness accompanied these random daydreams of hanging out with you. And the slowly shyness dissolved into realization that he just really cared for you.

❦ Caring turned into attraction; Jay was attracted to you. How…? When…? Why…? He wasn’t sure.

❦ He caught himself falling deep slowly, surely; almost subconsciously…

❦ “Hey Jay!” Daniel greets, sliding into his seat beside him in the cafeteria.

❦ The afternoon sun and luminescent lights still manage to hone in on Daniels “natural” beauty. He still receives stares from other classes… much to Jay’s distaste.

❦ He doesn’t say anything, just smiling in slight embarrassment and turning back to his already-empty food tray.

❦ “…?”

❦ “Where’s (Y/N)?” Jay watches as Daniel’s eyes scan over the cafeteria, flickering between the different girls at the beauty table.

❦ “Ah~ I’m not sure. She must be in the bathrooms or something.”

❦ Daniel turns back to his food, but his apparent unconcern only spurs on the faux-blonde’s worries.

❦ Daniel picks up on Jay’s hyperactive urges to make sure you’re in eyesight. Of course he’s aware that Jay is protective of him… but it’s different when he’s looking around the room frantically for you.

❦ Daniel feels a warmth in his chest- a slight pain in his forehead like his eyebrows are subtly being forced together.

❦ He almost feels annoyed, although he’s never caught himself feeling irritated with Jay. You’re probably the only person who could provoke him at random.

❦ It’s different than just plain annoyance or anger. He almost feels jealous of Jay for being so worried about you. Especially when you walk in, completely unharmed, just like Daniel knew you’d be. Daniel feels hot in his face and body when he catches Jay releasing a tiny sigh, lips curving upwards into a smile.

❦ Daniel asks for time to sort out his new-found overprotectiveness. And you give him time.

❦ To be honest… you need time to sort out your own feelings.

❦ You weren’t always on-board with your brothers new friend.

❦ Why would you be?

❦ You had both transferred from your old school for the sake of protecting Daniel. You had taken on the task of monitoring your twin for the sake of your Eomma.

❦ There was no way you were letting anyone bully your brother. Not even in his new body. (Of course you knew he felt the same way about you.)

❦ So you were a bit skeptical of the apparently mute, rich, and secretive boy who extended his friendship towards your Danny.

❦ A dark undercut bleached blonde, aristocratic features and perfectly molded pink-lips; expensive brands and a flawless grade sheet. Jay Hong had it all. What could he possibly want from your brother?

❦ You searched for an alternative motive…

❦ Regarding Jay with upmost suspicion during your encounters… calculating what he could gain from his every action.

❦ Your searches came up empty… you couldn’t find anything “dirty” about Jay.

❦ The only thing you gained from watching his every move and translating his silent words… was admiration.

❦ You admired Jay’s selflessness that mirrored your brothers. Kindness that mimicked your Eomma. Protectiveness… that probably reflected someone you knew (yourself and your twin).

❦ He was charming. He was thoughtful. Sweet. Endearing.

❦ Jay’s hand brushes against yours, and a booming swarm of butterflies erupt in your stomach. Happiness chokes in your throat; you’re forced to bashfully avoid eye-contact and pull your hand away from his.

❦ Jay smiles at you from across the hall, and suddenly you’re fighting back a grin. You conform that grin you want to let out into a tiny smile and an acknowledging nod, even though your head feels light your stomach feels empty.

❦ You come to realize what these feelings are… the fatigue you feel after encountering that boy; the way your heart lurches towards him whenever he’s in the room.

❦ It stopped being plain hormones a long time ago. It’s developing into more than a crush…

❦ You’d do anything to keep Danny safe. And now… you feel your protective circle broadening to let Jay in.

❦ Meanwhile Daniel’s protective grip on you seemed to be tightening.

❦ He was starting to regard the potential of you having a partner with hostility.

❦ He wouldn’t let you get hurt. He wouldn’t let himself be the one to introduce you to that sort of pain.

❦ If Jay was a really… really… really good guy… then maybe…

❦ As for Jay; he felt himself growing warm at the thought of you. That damn smile of yours.

❦ He smiles pleasurably as he relaxes into his bed, running his hand down his face.

❦ His guilt of not getting you a birthday gift is soon to be repelled. He glances over at the bag that rests on his desk.

❦ A hue of red taints his cheeks.

❦ Jay has done his own personal-sorting.

❦ After he watched Daniel; chiseled physique, radiating personality, magnetic charisma, reserved introversion; he decided he wanted to get to know him. And then he wanted to be friends.

❦ Then he met Daniel’s twin. His sister. He was enchanted by your aloof disregard for him, a facade of rudeness that soon gave way to your warm interior. He wanted to be greeted by your smile the way you beamed at your brother. He wanted to feel the touch the way you clasped your hands with Daniels. Hell… he wouldn’t mind if you dragged him by the collar the way you did with your twin.

❦ Jay felt his face heating up even more as he thought over his new revelation.

❦ He wanted to be more than just friends with (Y/N) Park.

❦ His gaze on the gift bag only intensified.

❦ “Will she like it…? I hope so. (Y/N) isn’t the type of girl to be picky about these sorts of things anyway… right?”

❦ “Will she want to stay friends? Probably. I mean- she’s nice to everybody. Me and her are nothing special…”

❦ Jay’s smile faded into a frown. Even if she did reject him, he always had to fall back onto his personal resolve. He was going to do this.

❦ A flustered mess. Jay Hong was a flustered mess.

❦ (Jay: 😰😰😰)

❦ “…!”

❦ “Like it? Of course I’ll like it Jay, you don’t need to be so nervous about it…”

❦ Daniel walks in to this rom-com of a scene.

❦ You sit there, smiling warmly at the boy in front of you. Jay slouches in front of you as though he’s trying to make himself smaller, pursing his lips tightly, his cheeks flushing a peachy pink.

❦ Daniel just stands there, staring into the empty classroom, save for his best friend and his twin sister, watching wordlessly as your hands pull out the tissue paper stuffed in the gift bag.

❦ You pull out an article of clothing… a jacket. Daniel can tell by the looks of it that it’s expensive. How much money was Jay willing to spend on you?

❦ “I love it Jay…” you smile, “but you already know I can’t accept this.”

❦ Jay frowns, nervousness still radiating from his demeanor. “…”

(So you don’t like it?)

❦ Daniel picks up on what it means, but he watches as his sister’s face morphs into understanding.

❦ “No I do— but it’s too much Jay. Huh…? If I’m happy with it then I can keep— no Jay that’s not how it works, I’m serious.”

❦ Daniel can see something. A warm spark that kindles as you hold each other’s gaze. You smile, even as Jay’s lips mold into a pout. Your eyes gloss in reflection with the sunlight; your gaze looks softer than Danny has ever seen it.

❦ He feels the heated pit in his chest extinguishing… his own gaze softening.

❦ Jay just wanted you to be happy…?

❦ “…”

❦ “Okay I’ll try it on… but only for size. I’m telling you I’m not accepting this gift— because friends don’t give each other expensive gifts like this! And you can’t tell me these are old clothes… because there is no way your sister would ever let you.”

❦ Jay is smiling broadly, helping you into the jacket (even though you can clearly manage on your own).

❦ Daniel coughs, walking through the doorway. “(Y/N) we better get home… or other Daniel will start to worry.”

❦ You conclude: you like Jay. He concludes: He likes you.

❦ Daniel concludes: Jay is a nice guy. He won’t hurt his beloved twin sister.

❦ Later on… Daniel sits beside Jay outside of the school building. He rubs the back of his neck nervously, releasing a shaky sigh.

❦ “Ah… Jay? Can I ask you a serious question?”

❦ Jay nods rapidly, an easygoing smile adorning his features.

❦ “Do you like my sister?”

❦ “…”

❦ This time Jay nods with less eagerness, like he’s guiltily admitting defeat. Daniel huffs turning away from Jay with a conflicted expression.

❦ “Well… if you want to I guess… you could ask her out. I mean- I’m not against it…”

❦ Jay: 😳

❦ “….”

❦ Translation: Thanks.

❦ A week later. You and Jay are going on your first date.

Fluff 😩 ❤️

I hope this was good :)

It for sure was the longest thing I’ve published on this blog. Requests are open! So keep giving me ideas! <3

[bonny-kookoo]

hi bonny! I'd like to request something for the bonny-meter hehe so, who would you think be into period sex and who absolutely not? love your writing and have a nice day/night :)

Hmm..

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS SIMPLY FUN SPECULATION, NOT ACTUAL ANALYSIS OR FACTS.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Kim Namjoon

Into it ━━━━━━━━?━━━━━━━━━ Not Into It

Honestly, I feel like he wouldn't really think much about it. It's neither a Kink of his, nor is it something that's an absolute no-go, you get me? He's laid back with it, if you're up for it he wouldn't really care much. Would 10/10 forget to put a towel down and definitely underestimate the mess it would make though.

Kim Seokjin

Into it ━━━━━━♥━━━━━━━━━━━ Not Into It

Doesn't really give a shit about whether or not you're on your period or not. Will set clear boundaries and rules though; such as having a very specific black towel down, having you go to the bathroom before, and no mouth-action down there for him. But other than that, he'd go all in, no issues.

Min Yoongi

Into it ━━━━━━━━♥━━━━━━━━━ Not Into It

Unbothered, another one that doesn't really give it much thought. I can see him be a bit anxious about if it's actually alright to just have sex like that, definitely checks online if there's anything to really be cautious about, but would otherwise definitely screw you on your period no issues. Wouldn't be his favorite, but he wouldn't complain either.

Jung Hoseok

Into it ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥━━━ Not Into It

You might come at me with pitchforks, but hear me out. Hoseok, in my opinion, is a pretty damn clean guy, who wouldn't really like the mess it would make. He'd be mature and gentle about it, and maybe in rare cases he'd jump over his shadow, but I don't see him enjoying it all that much. (Which isn't a bad thing- everyone has their own limits and boundaries and that's totally fine.)

Park Jimin

Into it ━━━━━♥━━━━━━━━━━━━ Not Into It

Honestly would be similar to Jin- he'd be open with what he'd feel comfortable with and what he wouldn't be, but would otherwise not really care. He'd stick to basic missionary lovemaking during that time of the month with you, and like Namjoon would definitely forget to put something down, but he'd be chill about it.

Kim Taehyung

Into it ━━♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Not Into It

Zero care. Would let you ride him, gives you a hand job, no issues. I can see him being absolutely nonchalant about it, even making some comments about it after like 'I didn't think you'd actually bleed that much.. is that normal?', but that dude would so not care. Also doesn't mind stained sheets. Will just buy new ones, easy.

Jeon Jungkook

Into it ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥━━ Not Into It

Listen, I love him but we gotta stay objective with these lists. There's really only two situations where he'll screw you during your strawberry jam time; in the shower, or if he's really desperate. Not because he finds it disgusting, but because this guy would be constantly freaking out about the blood. Way too worried he might be hurting you. It's a pass for him.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Requests for these Lists are currently Open!

[just-anka]

Our new home! Wah a lot has happened over the past few months and I'm only just starting to process it all. We knew all along that we were leaving Zurich after I finished my PhD, and vague plans to move to the mountains have been around for years. In early 2023, we started talking about it more seriously and soon realised living IN the mountains (rather than in a town in the valley at the bottom of the mountains haha) would involve buying a house because there aren't really any rentals in the villages around here. We spent a lot of time that winter looking at different places to find areas we liked, and then a lot of time in the summer viewing houses and figuring it all out. We decided on a house in late August, thinking there would be plenty of time to get it all through before the end of the year, that I would defend and then we'd move. As usual, that didn't go to plan and instead we found ourselves driving the 3.5 hours to Valais to sign for the house 4 days before my defence 🤦‍♀️ not ideal and all the uncertainty around the buying and the move combined with the defence stress over all those months really did me in, I'm still exhausted now even though the pace of life has gone from 100 to 0 (okay maybe more like a 10 but still) in the past few weeks. And the house is definitely not without issues 🤣 some of which we knew about, some we didn't, so the actual move in process has also been more exhausting than anticipated. There's also a ridiculous amount of admin involved in moving canton in Switzerland, it's almost like moving to a new country, especially as foreigners. But we survived the first bits, we moved in properly in the days after Christmas, and it's all slowly coming together now, and I love it SO much already. It's so quiet and peaceful, there's a little forest right outside our balcony that has deer walking through it almost every day, they come up all the way to the front door sometimes. Skiing is 10 mins away. It's been pretty cold as we're still figuring out the heating but we have a wood stove and it's so cosy. I love walking down the stairs in the morning in my warm jumper and making tea and meditating and journalling, all the while looking out at the mountains. I'm so burnt out from the end of the PhD and the entire past year it's been hard to take it all in, and it doesn't feel real yet most of the time. But when it does I feel so lucky. And I have a lot of time now, because I'm finally taking that gap year I've been saying for years I will take haha. It won't be an entire year, probably, but it will be a few months at least. Lots of skiing for now and some time to write, finally, getting settled into the house, and then some travelling.

[thebluntstudent]

FOUR ANXOUS THOUGHTS YOU MAY BE HAVING PRE-EXAM, AND WAYS TO RATIONALISE THEM ...

Also, a little commentary about panic attacks because I been there babs, in fact was there 30 mins ago~

°•☆•°

Tomorrow, I have an exam that I have been dreading for a long time. So naturally, today when I woke up a couple hours later than I was anticipating and opened up my notes to make the most of my last day of revising, I was hit with a flood of overwhelming anxiety and a panic attack followed suit.

I was struggling to move, I felt so overtaken by my thoughts- so I lay down, hugged myself, and did my best to calm down and rationalise my thoughts. This is how I got through it, and this is how I contended with a few of the emotionally-loaded thoughts that were driving my pre-exam panic:

Firstly, getting through it. If you are having a panic attack, don't try to push it down or ignore it- it sucks babs, but much like escaping a burning building by jumping through the fire, it's happening now and the only way past it is going through. So feel it. If you can talk to someone to support you through and ground you then do, and use whatever aids you to help calm the physical effects enough that you can start to fight that negative filter making you feel like the worlds biggest failure right now- you're not. You're a human, and if you didn't care about this exam you wouldn't be curled up in bed hyperventilating about it!

°•☆•°

Just physically calming yourself down doesn't help you fight the thoughts you're having that may be caused by or be the cause of your anxiety in the first place- so here are a few anxious thoughts I have had that you may also be experiencing and the rationalisation that helped me through them- in hopes that if you aren't doing okie dokie right now that maybe this will give you something to focus on and help you be the devil's advocate to your own anxiety too:

"I woke up later than I wanted to, I've lost important study time." So you slept through your alarm, or forgot to set one- fretting about lost time is only going to make you lose your mind and lose focus more, and the day before an exam you need as much rest as the night before. A few hours may feel like a lot of time, but you probably wouldn't have made the most of that in a groggy sleep-deprived state anyway. You're looking after yourself, you still have time, and that is okay.

"I have so much to get through, I'm never going to understand everything now." There is still plenty that you can do! I have been moderately unwell for 2 months and it has had a massive impact on my capacity to study consistently. There's a fair bit of content I know that I don't have enough time to understand at a first grade level- but I still have hours to lock down a little bit more confidence in preparation for the exam. Stop thinking 'I have to do ALL of this in the next 24 hours', start thinking 'what can I do to make myself feel a little more confident for tomorrow?'- as I mentioned in my last post, in just a 5-10 minute revision session you can go over a topic's worth of content via flashcards, and you literally have hours to go yet.

"I'm a bad student, I should have started prepping weeks ago/I should have done more." Hindsight is a bitch. Even if your reason for not studying before now is simply procrastination (which does not make you a bad student, it makes you a normal student- and also, a human being), mourning the time you've lost will not get you a top grade. You still have so much time to make yourself feel a little more prepared- you aren't a bad person, and you can still do something now even if you didn't a week ago! <3

"I don't even know where I'm supposed to start now, everything feels so overwhelming." take 20. Stop envisioning your subject as a whole (easier said than done, I know), and instead try to break it down into little segments of info you have to learn- you've already been taught the subject, so you don't have to learn the WHOLE thing in 24 hours. I like to write a list breaking down my module lecture by lecture, with three little check boxes next to it (though this depends on the subject you're doing): content, flashcards, practise. Cross off anything you've already done, pick one topic- one task you want to focus on and ignore everything except for that for however long you'll be working on it. It doesn't matter if you can't get through the whole list- every little section you do is another set of questions in the exam that you now have a better chance at answering. Isn't that a win?

This won't get rid of your anxiety like some magic solution, and it isn't always an easy task to dismiss your restless mind's accusations- but hopefully this is a little helpful for any fellow messy, anxious students out there who want the best but aren't in the best circumstances to get there <3 also, good luck!

[aliasrocket]

I wanted to say something for an anonymous comment about feeling less embarrassed of having feelings for Rocket. I must say I totally understand that.

A month ago, when GOTG VOL 3 was released, I went to see it at the cinema with my mother, I spent the whole movie very excited for Rocket, but right in that scene where he is on the verge of death and he meets Lylla again, SOMETHING INSIDE IT CHANGED ABOUT ME, because when they were hugging I realized I was JEALOUS, and in my mind I thought "OH NO, IT'S HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN", because I always fall for characters that might be unconventional or weird to other people , then I start looking for fics and I realize that there are not many for the same reason, or there are many where it is more platonic and I think "IT IS NOT ENOUGH" And it's more complicated for me because my first language is not English and in my language there is NOTHING. So meeting people who write Rocket the way I imagined really makes me very happy. I'm even thinking about writing some one shots myself but it's hard, I've never written NSFW and I find it kind of funny that I want to start with Rocket.

Oh my god this was absolutely sweet.

Yes!! Everyone IT IS OKAY TO LIKE UNCONVENTIONAL CHARACTERS. LITERALLY, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL!! JUST BE YOU!!!

And I’m really sorry there isn’t much fics in your language, but on the bright side I’m really happy that you’re at least able to read and write in english even if it isn’t your first language!

Also, yeah, in my experience, besides sighing the whole goddamn movie (except for the first 10 mins, I will give myself that,) I remember leaving the theatre in a sigh and going on ao3 like “ah shit, here we go again” bc this is the 1982838th time I’ve visited ao3 for some really obscure ship or an x reader fic for a very underrated character.

And about that Rocket smut, I understand how can it be daunting and I’d really love to help you!

Ykw, let me make a quick guide for anyone who’s scared of writing Rocket smut!! But for those of you who wouldn’t wanna read some real ugly/stupid stuff, don’t press the ‘keep reading’ line, haha.

a quick (and definitely unhinged) guide to writing Rocket smut XD

OBVIOUS NSFW WARNING!!! It gets ugly guys please THIS IS YOUR WARNING I’M NOT JOKING!!

If you’re uncomfortable with heavy nsfw please turn away now!!

written by aliasrocket (89P13 on ao3 hehe)

Suitable for any smut involving Rocket! (Looking at you guys, roquill shippers. Don’t worry, I welcome all ships on my blog <3)

This is supposed to be a writing smut guide specifically meant for Rocket so I’m not gonna go into the basics of writing smut, but if you’re a total beginner, here’s some pointers to help :

the genitals, legs, muscles, brain : main places that tend to be the most stimulated, exhausted or absolutely wiped. That being said, you can use these as a starting point for describing the feelings the characters or the reader may feel in the moment.

besides the main thing, you could try to set the mood by maybe mentioning how the moans sounded like, (screams, squeals, cries etc.) and other things the characters were doing to ground them in the moment, like gripping the sheets, gripping the other person’s shoulder or hips, etc.

Okay, so, about Rocket in particular …

Yeah, of course writing smut about a fucking Raccoon isn’t going to be fucking easy. But don’t worry, as someone who has studied all 3 gotg films and slowed down quite possibly every single Rocket clip in existence (enough to know Rocket … is genuinely CANONICALLY is very particular/skilled with his fingers, he knows where he’s putting them and knows EXACTLY which buttons to press on any tech, so … definitely good at using his fingers if you catch my drift) I think I might have gotten the hang of it to help some of you guys out.

So first off, when I write Rocket smut I always imagine he’s his comic height instead of his mcu height (don’t search it up, you’re just gonna be depressed about it trust me) so all you have to know is that if he pressed you up against a wall his head would be around your shoulder blade area. For missionary, he’s probably around your collarbone.

Rocket canonically has sharp and absolutely grown out nails. No, they’re not retractible. I’ve done research on this, but if you’d like to write him fingering someone, Rocket can have his nails trimmed.

It would hurt if Rocket bit you. Like, it would fucking bleed. So I’m sorry to say to those biting kink girlies (those are me hi) but Rocket can only afford to give you or someone else some nibbles on the skin unless you guys want some serious bloodplay on your hands. This is because he has protruding fangs on both his upper and lower row of teeth, his lower ones more prominent than the top.

Rocket can, however, eat you out. Don’t wanna get too into depth with this but basically his tongue can stick out his muzzle pretty well and his nose makes for a good clit-stimulator HAHAHAH

!!! : (this is going to be a description of the average raccoon penis so skip this if you don’t wanna know about this because you can DEFINITELY write Rocket smut without having to know this so please be free) I had to research this for a very specific request (pls ily shameless anon/pos) and I almost cried out of the loss of my sanity but anyway, raccoons have a baculum bone which is basically a bone in their penis that helps with copulation, its average length is about 4 inches but can be longer if you catch my drift. The genital itself is a like a rod with a ‘spiky’ end (it’s not actually spiky but it looks that way) compared to human genitalia, kind of like a cat’s but much longer and it is a very dark shade of brown or just plain black. Feel free to use any of these for a possible description if ever you need it, though I never really talk about it in fics, especially the whole ‘spiky’ thing. That being said, Rocket should not have an issue with size, as the the average human male genitalia is about five inches, meaning he can hit anyone’s g-spot just fine.

I might add more points if I have any more but this is all I got right now. I really hope this somehow encouraged you to write that nsfw fic you wanted, and just know everyone’s got interests, it’s fine if not a lot of people irl are into Rocket that way, because that’s literally what the internet is for!

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: may

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

--

Arsenic and Adobo, Mia P. Manansala [started 05/18, finished 06/03] I didn’t dip my toes into the light murder mystery genre until now and to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s working for me. But I have seen recommendations floating around this series with filipino characters and wanted to check it out. The main character, Lila, is eerily specific to my personal experiences and upbringing, but the writing feels severely lacking because I’m actively looking for more character development and depth. My best friend clarified that this genre doesn’t really flesh out the characters in the way I want it to. In the end, it just fell flat for me. I gave it 3.5⭐️ on storygraph (which might be generous) — Crying in H-Mart, Michelle Zauner [started 05/09, finished 06/09] Have you even got a book that you know that you’ll love, so you just end up avoiding it at all costs? This is a memoir that I needed to read this slowly because it just felt incredibly special. And so painful. If you’re a first gen aapi with a difficult relationship with your mother, this is going to be a LOT for you. Sobbing, snotty, the whole works. Take long breaks in between reads if you need it. I luckily saved the heaviest part of the book for when I was taking an impromptu trip to the lake, surrounded by so much sun, mist, and life. The world was comforting me and wiping away my tears. 5.0⭐️ on storygraph!!

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, dnf] I only had time to catch episode 9 in May. I thought I would be able to complete the series this month, but alas it might be a DNF. Please tell me that the adorable teachers got together! — Doctor Who, Disney+ [started: 05/10, in prog] It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that DW is on here. I am a DW blog first, multifandom blog second. I’m loving the spin RTD is taking with the show for this run, having the genre touch on the supernatural/mythical/fantasy. It still has the same DNA but it’s so fresh. I only caught the first two eps on premiere week and haven’t had the time to keep up with the show weekly, but I am catching up soon. — Murderville, Netflix [started 02/10, finished: 05/23] I forgot to include this in my february wrap up, but I watched eps 1-4 back then and finally got around to seeing the last two eps this month. This show is such a delight! I love the unique twist on the concept of procedural improv, where the guest star actually have to solve the case at the end of the ep. They’re not there to just play off the other actors, they invite themselves to interact with the plot without taking it too seriously. If this sounds right up your alley to turn your brain down to like… 25%, please check this out. — Attack on Titan [started: 05/26, in prog] I have quite a journey ahead of me, but I’m happy to report that I LOVED the first ep. What a strong start to my anime era! This is gonna be my summer obsession, I can just feel it. By the time this posts, I will have seen eps two and maybe three(??). Gimme them right now, in an IV please. — Devil’s Plan, Netflix [started: 04/23, ALMOST complete] Bestie and I are OBSESSED with this competition series and we just learned there will be a s2, YAYY! This isn’t a show where you can turn your brain off. Now that I think about it, I don’t think there’s been a challenge I fully understood until ep 10, but man is it fun watching the contestants figure it out. They’re all SO intelligent and SOOO charming. And the games are so creative and elevated, it makes the stakes so charged! We are a few min into ep 11, out of 12, and we are planning to finish it this week. I don’t want this show to endddd!

Whew! I thought I didn’t watch much this month, but I covered a lot of ground on the TV front huh.

Pedro, Netflix [watched on 05/05] First off, you’ll be delighted to know that the artist and subject matter of the film, Pedro Friedeberg, has two cats named Wikipedia and Netflix. What I find so refreshing about this documentary in particular is Pedro, the unwilling participant during the process. The filmmaker, Liora Spilk Bialostozky, takes great care in sharing her insecurities about it. Liora is not shy about her adoration for her favorite artist and Pedro is very firm with his boundaries when pressed about his personal life. It makes for a very delightful, yet tense friendship between the two. — Polite Society [watched on 05/31] This is still fresh in my mind but what a spectacular film! LOVE how it puts the sister bond in the forefront of this classic action film, as well as all the female friendships. It makes the tonal shift flow seamlessly because the heart of the film beats strong. The best scene was the KHAN vs KHAN fight sequence, Ria vs Lena. The bashing, the biting, and the blood! The choice to make the final blow be self-inflicted, especially when it targets my personal experience, really took this film to new heights. I want to just ‘This movie has EVERYTHING’ meme the hell out of this. It has weird girls, judgmental aunties, college dropouts who have an estranged relationship with making art, torture scenes through the use of leg waxing, reproductive autonomy, FEMALE RAGE! It deserves to be up there when people think of 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless.

GÉNESIS, Peso Pluma [first time listening] Before Coachella, I knew very little about Peso Pluma but his live performance really shot him to the top of my list of artists to catch up on. When I was little, my dad always had corrido playing in his car radio and to this day, he still occasionally plays it in the garage. What I really admire about GÉNESIS is the modern twists the artist takes in the production and writing, perfectly paying homage to the traditional without it sounding dated. I think it’s largely due to his vocals. He doesn’t shy away from perfecting at the cost of being authentic and it shines in songs such as Rubicon and 77. The latter half of the album really packs a punch, it’s so hard to pick a favorite. Everything from Lady Gaga to the end is just banger after banger after banger. Having this album play in my car… I really do take after my father. — LAS LETRAS YA NO IMPORTAN, Residente [first time listening] I first heard of Residente from the song Immigrants (We Get the Job Done) from the Hamilton Mixtape. Even then, I made a mental note to get back to him, but lost track of time until I started listening to Peso Pluma. This compilation consists of 23 songs and it’s such a sublime experience from beginning to end! It’s cinematic, it’s heavy, it’s a party, AND it’s skipless. He has a level of talent that has me raging!!! HE’S SO GOOOOOOD TF?!?!? The first time I heard 313, I wrote a note on my phone with “hhhhhhhh???!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how dare he” and I stand by that statement. It’s almost six minutes long and not one second was wasted. Where Peso Pluma brings the traditional corrido to the present, Residente brings rap/hip-hop into the future. Whenever I get a chance to jump back into the album in the car, the songs I tend to gravitate towards are Artificial Inteligente, Cerebro, Yo No Sé Pero Sé, Que Fluya, and Las Letras Ya No Importan. This guy doesn’t miss, I hate him (affectionate). — Everything I Know About Love, Laufey [first time listening] This album is magnificent, I am UNWELL. The way I feel about this album is the same way I felt about Five Seconds Flat last summer: a feeling so bone deep, my soul begs for release. Bewitched was such a strong outing for me, so hearing little echos of it in the album before made the listen experience all the more enchanting. I’m so in love with this album. I’m actually convinced that Above the Chinese Restaurant is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Ever. If I talk about this album more, it’s going to dig up so much of my deepest, darkest memories. I can’t… but also please talk to me about this album. — HIT ME HARD AND SOFT, Billie Eilish [first time listening] On gawd, what a stellar month for music, I can’t believe it! What a KNOCKOUT!! Billie and Finneas, I feel, have finally come home. They finally own their craft, refined it, and carved it into this marble masterpiece. Billie is more daring with her vocal range and exploring new avenues in her execution. The entirety of L’amour De Ma Vie was just me going “ARE YOU KIDDING ME????” 30 times over in the car. No but for real, is she joking? This is so ungodly, what am I supposed to do with myself?? HELP???? It’s a no-skip album, there is no top 5, no favorites list. It just is and it’s unbelievable that I can’t experience it for the first time all over again.

[georgiebrits]

Soju - Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi

Taehyung stared in disbelief at the blank computer screen of Yoongi's phone. He sat on the other side of the couch as Yoongi sat crosslegged in front of him with a small notebook open on his knee. In front of Taehyung was a sketch pad full of scribbles from Yoongi’s pens. A pile of paper rested next to the laptop while the music producer scoured the pages for ideas. Taehyung could hear the click of keys as Yoongi typed up lyrics for the song they were working on right now - one which was currently on hiatus due to Yoongi’s lack of inspiration. The rapper didn't need to add any more work, but the music producer had insisted.

They sat there staring intently at the blank screen. They had been sitting here for hours trying to find a solution to the melody they had written earlier that week, but it kept getting lost between different notes or mixing with too many words. The two of them sat across from each other with papers scattered all over the coffee table. They weren’t making progress today.

Taehyung rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, letting out an irritated sigh. “Are we going to try writing this song again tomorrow if we keep looking like this?”

Yoongi’s mouth twitched into a smile that made Taehyung’s heart skip. “No. But I think it would be best if we took some time off. We’re going nowhere. Maybe we can go to the sojubar?” He offered the suggestion in the same breath Taehyung had suggested it. “Maybe I’ll get inspired there. Maybe we could have some food and drinks. Do something fun.” Yoongi looked back down at the page in his hand as his fingers continued typing.

Taehyung smiled at the man’s enthusiasm, nodding. “Yeah. Let’s just relax for a bit. Get our heads out of the game and just hangout.” It would do them both good, especially Yoongi. They had worked themselves into quite the state of agitation the past few weeks. The stress from producing songs left Taehyung tired, and Yoongi even more so. They needed the release they were both craving for. Plus, the sojubar was always packed. Perhaps they would come away feeling better after some fresh air and laughter.

Yoongi hummed in acknowledgement. Taehyung watched as his hands danced across the keys of the keyboard as if he couldn’t control himself. Taehyung grabbed his shoes and jacket to go to the soju bar and urged Yoongi to do the same. His hyung followed his lead and they stood up together, grabbing their bags and heading outside to meet up with Hoseok who was waiting for them near the parking lot entrance. He greeted them with a bright smile as the three entered his car.

The soju bar was buzzing with activity when they arrived. The air filled with the sounds of people talking excitedly with each other and laughing. The crowd flowed in and out of the doors every few minutes and the smell of food wafted through the open doorways. The three men pushed their way through the crowd until they found a free booth near the back wall. Taehyung and Hoseok went to get drinks and snacks whilst Yoongi ordered a bowl of soju and a plate of fried rice along with two bottles of water. Taehyung and Hoseok returned after about 10 minutes with the food. They joined their friend in the booth, Hoseok placing their drinks in front of the rappers as Taehyung placed his food onto the empty seat to Yoongi’s right.

After the food and drinks they went to drink and dance at the place, but before Yoongi could down his Soju he bumped in to you spilling his soju all over you. You just smiled at him while he was sputtering apologies. The man looked mortified. You laughed it off, but the redness of his ears said otherwise. “It happens all the time, really. Don’t worry about it.”

Taehyung chuckled at the sight. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

The three of you ended up dancing for the rest of the night, singing and dancing your hearts out.

Back at their apartment, you found yourself in a cozy living room. Taehyung's shirt is off, revealing his toned chest, while Yoongi's hands roam over your body. You feel their desire coursing through your veins.

The heat rising in your stomach. Your legs growing weak. Your heartbeat speeds up. Your skin begins to glow. Your breathing becomes labored. Your mind feels fuzzy. A wave of euphoria takes over you. Your vision blurs and your body moves with the music. You move your lips, but only to form the words of the song.

Taehyung watches you intently, his eyes dark with desire, and moves closer to you. "You're so sexy," he whispers in your ear, trailing kisses down your jawline. Yoongi's hands move lower, teasing between your thighs, and you moan softly. "I want you both," you gasp, as they both capture your lips in a fiery kiss.

Their mouths open and close with fervor. Their fingers explore your bodies, exploring your innermost core. Your hips grind against Yoongi's and you groan as his fingers brush over the most sensitive parts of your body. The sensation of Taehyung's lips sucking marks into your neck makes you squirm beneath him.

Taehyung bites your earlobe, tugging gently before whispering, "You like that, baby?" You nod, panting heavily, as Yoongi's fingers continue their ministrations between your legs. Taehyung runs his hands down your sides, squeezing your ass before sliding a finger between your folds, eliciting a gasp from your lips. "You're so wet," he murmurs, and Yoongi smirks against your neck, continuing to tease you.

Your toes curl and Taehyung presses another kiss to your skin, moving his lips towards your collarbone. He traces the outline of your breasts, his mouth following the trail.

His hand finds your clit, rubbing and pulling gently. You wiggle your hips, wanting more.

Yoongi withdraws his hand, and Taehyung moves to take over. With two fingers, he stretches you open, eliciting a moan from your lips. "You want that, don't you?" he asks breathlessly, and you nod feverishly. "Tell us," Yoongi demands, nipping at your pulse point. "I need you both," you whimper. Taehyung's fingers move faster, and you can feel your orgasm building. "Please," you beg.

"Both of you." Yoongi and Taehyung exchange glances before Taehyung leans forward, kissing you softly before slowly inserting another finger inside of you.

The sensation of being stretched wide fills you with an overwhelming pleasure. Every part of your body tenses around Taehyung's fingers.

"Mmm, you're so tight," Taehyung moans against your lips, as Yoongi moves to straddle you, his cock hard as he positions himself at your entrance. "Ready, baby?" he asks, and you nod eagerly, wanting nothing more than to feel both of them inside you. Yoongi thrusts forward, and you gasp as he fills you up completely. Hot waves of pleasure wash over you as Taehyung speeds up his movements, his fingers relentlessly stroking the most sensitive part of you. "Fuck," you scream, your body writhing under their touch.

You moan in pleasure as Taehyung repositions you, now straddling Yoongi's cock while Taehyung presses himself against your back, his cock hard and ready. With one hand on your hip, Taehyung uses the other to stroke himself to full length, before guiding himself in. You gasp as he enters you, filling you up in a way that makes you feel completely whole. With every thrust, Taehyung's hips slam against your ass, his moans mingling with your own. Yoongi's hands grip your hips tightly, his rhythm steady and unwavering as he thrusts up into you. "Fuck, you feel so good," Yoongi growls, his lips teasing your neck. You feel your orgasm building yet again, the intensity almost too much to bear.

You writhe underneath Taehyung and Yoongi, gasping as they begin to move at a rapid pace, their thrusts increasing in speed. "Oh God, oh fuck..." you whisper, unable to contain yourself any longer. You throw your head back as you cry out loud, your muscles shaking in ecstasy. Yoongi lets go of your hips as he thrusts harder, burying himself deeper, and his hands find yours, holding them firmly above your head as he thrusts into you once more.

Hands reach forward, touching your face, your shoulders, your thighs.

Taehyung's hands roam over your back, his lips trailing kisses down your spine. You can feel his hot breath against your skin as he whispers words of encouragement, urging you to come again. Yoongi continues to pound into you relentlessly, his cock hitting every spot inside you as he fucks you with wild abandon. "Come for us, baby," he growls, his grip on your wrists tightening. You feel yourself spiraling towards the edge once more, your body on the brink of exploding. With a final cry, you let yourself go, your orgasm rippling through you in waves. You feel completely lost in their touch, consumed by the heat of their passion.

You lay there limp in Taehyung's arms, panting heavily while you catch your breath. Yoongi pulls out of you slowly and removes himself from your body. He lays beside you on the bed, his arm wrapping around your waist, holding you close, and resting his chin on top of your head. "We'll talk later baby. We should sleep now," he says, kissing the top of your head before drifting off into sleep.

You turn to look at him, feeling your heart racing rapidly in your chest. How could something be so intense without even trying? But then again...how could anything be less intimate than what they did tonight?

When morning came you were alone in the bed, no signs of the guys you were with last night.

You walk to the living room seeing them behind a laptop screaming out of joy.

You smile as you approach them.

Both of them looked at you. "We finished the song!!" Taehyung yelled. Yoongi looked at you and whispered, "It's called soju".

[sicjimin]

Can you do jimin carsick on a normal day and how it annoys him that he started off his day being sick which makes him tired when compared to the other members so he's not as productive on the days where he gets carsick and there's no telling on which days he will because it's so unpredictable.

You can choose the caretaker who reassures him and gently gets jimin out of his frustration

a.n : a usual opening for my fic .. i'm sorry this take soooooo long to be fullfiled, i hope this won't disappoint you after the long wait, and i hope you're still around anon 🥲 thank you for requesting ! and sorry for the broken grammar all over, somehow after almost 2 months not writing, my english isn't english-ing

tw : emeto

Jimin isn't a hateful person per se, like .. if you had to sit him down in an interview, and they ask him to put it on the list someone or something that he hates, it would definitely take him longer than 5 minutes to give something out—or even none. Maybe he would put something silly like mangos, mint choco, and etc ; that would sent the members teasing him or the interviewer burst into giggles, as they all know, there's no actual hatred in Jimin's body for it.

But on some days, bad days to be exact—Jimin would love to be asked that kind of questions and he would answer it delightfully without having to think long ; and he definitely put every meaning into his answers.

It's being sick.

He hates being sick. No—scratch it. He loathes being sick.

And bless God for putting his soul in a petite body that's apparently : have a great resistance towards cruel and inhumane hours of dancing, but very weak against a moving object (re: cars, trains .. and every other transportations you could name). It's so .. goofy, if he think about it.

He hates how it comes on the most unpredictable times—sometimes when he's in rush hours and running late, or sometimes when he's already dealing with anxiety before something big—and how sometimes it comes even he already prevented it. A big gulp of benadryl, dramamine .. everything you named it ; in the morning, still got him dizzy and gagging at the parking lot in those bad days.

And lucky for him, today is one of those days—and it's just match perfectly how they got to shoot something a bit far away, 30 mins of ride if there's no traffic.

He starts to sense that something is going wrong in the first 10 minutes of ride—as he tries to tuned in with whatever conversation Taehyung and Jungkook get going on in front of him, and Yoongi quiet scroll through his phone—when he feels a familiar tightness around his middle area.

He takes a deep breath, hoping that it's just anxiety pooling in with the mental image of doing a shoot, mixed with his quite filling breakfast. It doesn't help much; a few more seconds pass with his hands balled up in fists, starting to sweat.

It happens so fast, like one moment he starts acknowleged the telltale of it—then another second it grows.

He feels dizzy now.

"Hyung ..", Jimin tries to switch his gaze from the quick passing of trees on the road, but his head feels heavier than before, as if his stomach had dropped. The pressure increases exponentially in his belly and he bites on his lower lip to stop the groan that threatens to slip out.

Yoongi snaps up from his phone, and when their eyes meet his gaze looks worried. "Jimin-ah, are you okay?", he asks quietly, eyes wide open, brows furrowed and worry written over his face. His voice comes out as a question, and his hand reach to rub circles on the younger's thigh in an effort to ease him.

Jimin shuts his eyes as he takes another deep gush of breathe, even with the darkness—everything is spinning around him. And he feels sickeningly warm at the same time. "Bag ..", he manages to utter, barely above a whisper—not trusting himself enough to be more detailed with whatever he's feeling. Or else their lap; Yoongi's and his; would be covered with his breakfast now.

Jimin could hear Yoongi's quiet curses, followed with loud fumbling around his bag and hushed call towards the others that seated in front—in between the ringing in his ears as his breakfast pooled right on his throat. Then, Yoongi's palm is under his chin as the rapper tap his shoulder.

He opened his eyes slowly, seeing bag already pushed towards him, "Here."

The elder's voice is quiet, worried, and there are tiny lines carved across his forehead like he was trying to figure something to do.

Jimin feels like he's not part of his body anymore everytime he feels sick—like it got another mind to control what his next moves and no room for Jimin to think and contemplate it. He barely got to mumbles a quiet "sorry" to his members—before his stomach curved in, forcing a quiet loud and gross gag filling the car. Tears pooling in his eyes with the force and embarassment that came with it. And he felt himself get pushed to the side, colliding with Yoongi's chest as the older wrapped his arms around him, and his low "It's okay .. you will feel better after this" get drowned with the next heaves, that apparently more productive as a mouthful of vomit splatter to the bag.

Jimin gasps, breathing heavily and panting from the overwhelming amount of nausea that has filled his system. He tried getting out of Yoongi's grip, yet the elder held him close as the smaller man shook, bending forward even more when his stomach pushing all his breakfast out, filling the bag rapidly without giving him room to breathe.

"Hyung .. sorry ..", Jimin coughed for a bit, then shook with another sickly retch as even more puke fountained out of his mouth.

Yoongi hums, keep rubbing small circles around his shoulder blade to comfort his trembling figure and keep him steady. Jimin keeps his eyes shut tightly, barely registering the concerned mumbles around him—as his body worked up, continued to let his stomach content out for quite some time before he doubled over with unproductive spasms.

Jimin slumps against Yoongi, almost completely limp, his head lulling to the side, lips slightly parted and his hair stuck against his neck.

"Jiminie," he heard Taehyung calls out, sounding worried "Are you alright?"

Jimin lets out a shaky breath, "I'm fine..", he mutters quietly, eyes still closed. "It just hurts a little.. my stomach.."

"Do you want us to stop somewhere?", he recognized that as Jin trying to sound caring and calm, but was clearly still worried.

"No... no it's fine.", Jimin says, "We're only few minutes away, right?"

"Yeah.", Jungkook replies, voice laced in worry. Jimin nods weakly at the youngest's reply.

The car went in silence and Jimin's body feels weak. But he can't afford to sleep when he needs to remain conscious—not until his stomach stops feeling so horrible. He just hopes that when he wakes back up he'll feel somewhat rested.

"Do you need something? you have your medicine with you?", Yoongi's quiet voices brings Jimin back to reality and he shakes his head, keeping his eyes not being open for too long in attempt to avoid the new round of nausea. "No.... to both. I think i forgot to take my meds this morning. I dont think today .. will be like this", he mumbled in between heavy breaths.

Jimin can imagine the concern look on Yoongi's expression—he knows his hyung, he would understand if it was him.

"Let's rest for awhile then.", Yoongi suggested calmly, rubbing small circles on his back again.

***

Jimin knows that his bout of sickness wont end simply with once episode of throwing up. He knows his body better than that—along with how he already lost count with waves of nausea that passes through his body since he stepped out of the car until now.

It's almost 2pm now, they already moved from the shoot location to the practice room as they need to rehearse few things for their new songs and upcoming shows.

Jimin frowned, looking at his reflection in the mirror like it's personally offended him when he got the moves wrong—no, he got it right but something feels off with how he did it. It's not .. perfect enough. He takes a deep breath, gulping down a whine out of frustration that been building up, and blinks—the room spins momentarily ; but he brushed it off—before moving his hand along with the beat on his head.

"Jimin-ah"

"Hm?", Jimin hums, choosing to look at Hoseok—that been eyeing him for the past minutes—through the mirror, so it doesn't break his focus.

"You should sit this down for a minute, take a rest", the older frowns, "You're pale"

"I know, I know," Jimin sighs, "But i cant, we have to go soon..."

"Jimin, you don't look good..."

"I will after this, just few minutes i promise", Jimin mumbles as he continues, trying his best to shake away the sudden nausea creeping back over him, "I'm okay, really"

"Jiminie..."

"Hobi hyung... please just trust me", Jimin pleaded, finally looking at his friends—and he can see Hoseok's hesitancy, but the older gives in anyway—leaning closer to check the other out more carefully. He watches as he reaches to pat his arm in reassurance.

Jimin smiles in appreciation, before turning his attention back to the choreography that he was supposed to master perfectly before their run through.

It takes him a while to get everything back into place—he isn't sure whether that's because his vision is starting to blur or because of the sweat dripping down his temples. But he can't complain, he has to concentrate, otherwise this whole practice session could turn into vain.

He closes his eyes tightly, feeling the nausea becoming more intense along with his movement. Taking a deep breathe even through the help of his parted lips didn't help. His tongue felt thick and cottony in his mouth, and he knows he probably won't last much longer.

Just as he thought that—just when he was about to move one foot to make the next step forward, his stomach turns once again—this time causing him to bend forward. A wave of nausea hits him and the taste of bile floods in his mouth. He gags, quickly clamped his mouth as his lunch burns through his throat and filling his cheeks.

His eyes widen, panic washing over him as his stomach rolls again, pushing more intense gag that he knows will breaking his composure.

He barely register that someone called out for him—that Yoongi and Hoseok been on his side, ready to help—when he makes a run to the bathroom.

He cant throw up here.

He slams the bathroom door open with a slim time—he gagged into the palm of his hand and turned toward the nearest sink instead.  Jimin doubled over and spewed a chunky stream of vomit into the sink. He barely aware with the rush of footsteps behind him, the sudden touch going up and down over his back, and how his already grown hair not spilling all over the sink—as he's too busy following his stomach command. Over and over he shuddered and spewed out chunks of his half-digested lunch.

"Ssh, Jimin, breathe ..", Yoongi cooed at him, holding onto his shoulders to keep him steady—while Hoseok stood by the sink, watching Jimin vomit out his meal with his face scrunched.

"Hoba", Yoongi croaked out as his fingers found their way under Jimin's hair and pulled it back, grimacing as his voice drowned with the younger heaves, "Can you bring him water and towel?"

Hoseok nodded, rushing out of the room, secretly glad that he didn't have to witness it for a moment as his own stomach starts to turn as well.

"Hyung ..", Jimin paused, panting, and let his mouth hang open as nausea still thick lacing over him. "This is so gross", he chokes out before another retch soon overcame and water rushes out of him.

Yoongi chuckles, "Yeah it is .. but it's okay, you have to let it out"

***

After Jimin vomits for what seemed like ages, though he knew it was only about ten minutes, Hoseok comes with Yoongi's request—towel and bottle of cold water in hands. "Are you feeling better?", he cooed at the younger that slumped against the sink as he rinses his mouth, eyes rid rimmed and filled with tears—while Yoongi steadily held him by waist ; afraid that the younger legs might gave out anytime soon.

Jimin groans softly, wiping his forehead with the towel, "A bit.."

"That's good", Hoseok smiles, "You need to go home"

"Go home?!", Jimin splutters, brows furrowed. "You can't tell me that."

Hoseok laughs, "Yes I do, you must be exhausted", he pauses briefly, "You've practiced a lot. That's enough, and you're not feeling good"

"I already feel better!", Jimin whines, shaking his head furiously before he cut out with a gasps, as dizziness rushing through him and makes him lose his footing.

"Jiminie .."

"See? You barely can hold yourself up", Hoseok points out, helping Jimin lean against Yoongi that been quiet. "Hyung can go with you"

"Hyung ..", Jimin whines again, moving his gaze towards Yoongi, hoping that the latter would help him somehow.

He still needs to practice ! There's a lot of movement that he hasn't perfected yet ! How can they make him go home?

"Jimin," Yoongi calls his name sternly, and Jimin knows Yoongi is serious this time. "You're not doing a great job either right now"

Jimin groans at that, knowing it's true. The younger is not in control anymore, and it hurts his stomach to even move at all. Jimin hates having an effect on everyone around him, especially those close to him—they shouldn't have to worry about his health when it comes to their career.

"Okay", Jimin looks down, suddenly feeling too tired to argue. "I'm sorry hyung"

"No, no. Don't apologize", Hoseok assures him; "You've already done enough".

Jimin sighs, "Okay.."

"Here, drink some water first", Hoseok said gently. Jimin nods slowly, opening the bottle of water and taking a sip. "Good boy, now go home with your hyung and take a rest", Hoseok ruffles his hair, smiling warmly at Jimin who returned it weakly. "And call me when you get home"

"I will hyung"

They watch as Hoseok walks out, leaving Jimin alone with Yoongi. Jimin lets out a soft sigh, leaning further towards Yoongi's chest, "I'm sorry you have to go out early too with me. I can go home al—"

"Nah", Yoongi cuts him out, as he trailed behind the younger. "Thank you for letting me out early", he chuckles. "You know sometimes rest doesn't hurt, and i'm sure everyone won't do much either today"

Jimin huffs, tugging Yoongi's sleeves to walk closer with him unconsciously, "But we only have few weeks left—"

"And you have been performing for 10 years, Min .. a day of rest won't reducing your performance", Yoongi smiled fondly at him, wrapping his arms securely around his body, "Let's rest today okay? We can continue tomorrow."

"Okay", Jimin sighs, knowing Yoongi will always find the counter attack if he's going on and on—then fine, he'll allow himself to go a little off the beat this one afternoon.