#maybe I’ll post them individually later but for now they live in here

[starrodent]

i haven’t recovered

[whyse7vn]

KIM TAEHYUNG

RANDOM 01:

!gc taehyung who is actually a sick little loser who does not know how to genuinely talk to women at all !! like no joke had like 1 genuine girlfriend he thought he was in love with when he was 18 but she broke up with him 3 months later

!gc taehyung whose only real girl LARGE SPACE friend is you

!gc taehyung who openly and horribly flirts with you finding comfort knowing you can’t actually leave him because you work together (kinda sick of you ask me)

!gc taehyung who DID fly all the way to paris for jennie only to be told “this isn’t working out” “you’re just not what i thought you’d be”

!gc taehyung who told himself he wasn’t upset about being broken up with

!gc taehyung who never told anyone about his short lived relationship with jennie and profusely denies it any time it’s brought up

!gc taehyung who despite being broken up with for many months now thinks about the phrase “you’re just not what i thought you’d be” everyday

!gc taehyung who realises when it comes to you everything comes naturally whether it’s flirting talking eating or just being him it is always easier with you

!gc taehyung who doesn’t seem to realise his normal “harmless” flirtatious remarks towards you hold some extra weight to them these days

!gc taehyung who after a unbelievable miracle a free weekend one night with you namjoon and like 6 bottles of soju managed to get you into his bed

!gc taehyung who is genuinely so sacred about where you and him stand now you’re dating jaehyun

!gc taehyung the most bullied man in the gc (justice for him)

!gc taehyung who took the furry bit waaayyyyy too far and now genuinely likes being called a good boy

!gc taehyung who is NOT actually going broke but simply looses his card way more than he would like to admit

!gc taehyung who finds it hard making new friends

!gc taehyung who counts his lucky starts every night for that day with you and joon

!gc taehyung who is extremely surprised you tolerate him after all the crazy shit he’s said to you

!gc taehyung who is definitely NOT a bad influence on jungkook

!gc taehyung who can not physically go a day with out talking all of his members at least once

!gc taehyung who once literally SOBBED to you for hours about the bullying yeontan had received in the gc (he was extremely high) (and they weren’t even talking about yeontan he just saw the word rat and fell to his knees)

—

hiiii so this is a new concept i’m trying out idk if i like it yet but basically the whole idea of it is to give a bit more insight into every one in the gc and what’s going on??

i think in the future i want to add more structure into these like each post to have a theme maybe idk but i would like it to be less random

like maybe people can ask questions about a certain member and then i can put the answers here like this???

for example someone could ask oh how come jk lives with y/n? and then i’ll answer like this.

i feel like this allows more of a look at each member individually and explains why they act the way they act or why they might of done some of the things they’ve done

anyways lmk of you fucking with it or not or if you have anyways to help me improve this at all luv you all mwah mwah

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

[putschki1969]

“Sono Saki e” Random Thoughts (Review?)

Please be sure to ❗SUPPORT Wakana❗ in any way you can! Especially if you decided not to order any physical copies. You can purchase and stream Wakana’s 3rd original studio album “Sono Saki e” on various sites (mora, iTunes etc) and streaming platforms (Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, etc). • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— • BUY the album on mora (TUTORIAL here) BUY it in your local iTunes store • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— •  

Phew, this post is long-overdue. I’ve actually had this “review” sitting around in my drafts since May 30 but I wanted to wait till my physical copies arrived (unfortunately, my package took forever T_T). We have had multiple opportunities to listen to the tracks (or at least snippets of them) and of course I also listened to the digital album as soon as it became available. I’ll be honest with you, my initial reaction to the snippets and later the full tracks was rather lukewarm but in the past couple of weeks, most of the album has grown on me. So far my TOP 5 in order of their track listing are “Rapa Nui”, “標 (Shirushi)”, “希望(Kibou)”,“明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau)” and “Flag”.  Here are some random thoughts on the album as a whole and the individual songs ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)→

Vocals: I’m not gonna write an analysis on Wakana’s vocals since I obviously lack the technical knowledge for that sort of stuff but I would still like to vent a little. In recent times, Wakana has talked a lot about how she is constantly refining her skills, working with a vocal coach and discovering new ways to use her voice, however, I fail to hear any real results of those efforts. I have to wonder if her vocal coach (or Takebe in his role as producer) are even giving any sort of effective advice because it certainly doesn’t seem like they do. The Japanese mindset probably keeps them from providing proper constructive criticism. This has always been an issue in the Japanese music industry but I am noticing it more now that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru can no longer compensate for each other’s weaknesses. I don’t mean to bash or anything, you know I would never do that. I can still appreciate their solo vocals and for the most part I definitely enjoy Wakana’s vocals in this album but sometimes I get frustrated when it’s clear that the girls are not reaching their full potential or are using styles that are absolutely unflattering. I mean, who is telling Wakana (and Keiko for that matter) it’s a good idea to over-affect her voice or to sing in a register that is simply too high? Pretty sure this stuff is up to her so I guess it is a conscious choice and no one is guiding her in a better direction. I know for a fact that Wakana is capable of using a fuller, steadier voice but for some reason she often falls back on singing styles that don’t do anything for her and make her sound quite generic or borderline amateurish. It’s a shame...Rant over.

Visuals: The botanical and watery backgrounds/colours fit Wakana’s image perfectly. I wouldn’t say it’s a good match for the theme of the album but I don’t really mind. These are probably not my favourite looks for her but there are still some super lovely shots included in the photobook and lyric booklets. I originally thought all those light spots were a filter but they really used strings of light for the shoot. Not sure yet if I am a fan of the finished look.Something about it doesn’t really work for me.

Bonus material: No idea why they decided to add a DVD instead of a Blu-ray but I am just grateful we got footage from the Christmas live. It’s a solid concert with many good performances so I am happy there’s official footage. Too bad they cut the Christmas songs though, I remember enjoying them a lot. The audio tracks are a nice addition but I think instrumental versions of the album tracks would have been a nicer bonus. The exclusive fan club track is nothing to write home about, wish they had included footage from the after-talk instead or maybe the Christmas tracks.

Editions: As always, I appreciate that we get different booklets for every single edition. Makes it so much more fun and worthwhile to collect different editions. Overall I would day that all versions were reasonably priced for the content we got. And I am glad they once again decided to go for an LP-sized package with a big photobook. They look so good on my Kalafina showcase/shrine. Small nitpick: The quality of the large photobook isn’t what it used to be, it’s much thinner paper now T_T Makes it easier to scan though so I guess it’s not that bad.

Promotion: As far as the promotional campaign is concerned, I would say it’s sufficiently wide-spread on the media front but it feels a little lackluster in terms of in-store presence. Many Japanese fans have complained that the store promo for Wakana’s “Sono Saki e” wasn’t up to par with all the displays that were prepared for Keiko’s “Cutlery”. Thankfully we got the release events which added a bit of hype. Altogether, her performance in the Oricon Charts wasn’t too shabby either (#28) so the marketing team must have done something right. On a side note, I still very much appreciate the relatively high production value of Wakana’s solo works (especially compared to Hikaru’s and Keiko’s stuff). It’s clear that a lot of money is still invested in Wakana so YAY for that.

Overall thoughts: "Sono Saki e” has been a long time in the making so despite my best efforts, certain expectations have been building up. I know of course that getting my hopes up too high is a stupid thing to do because it will inevitably set me up for disappointment but I am only human and after three years of waiting, I was in a serious Wakana drought. However, now that the album is finally here, I feel a surprising sense of indifference (?) towards it. My reaction to Keiko’s latest album should have been indication enough but I think it’s becoming more and more obvious that I am suffering from a serious case of Kalafina-solo fatigue. It seems like I am steadily falling out of love with their solo music which makes me incredibly sad but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. I am not even saying that I dislike the album but there is just a lack of sparks I guess? Objectively speaking, I would say that Wakana’s 3rd album is quite good, I thoroughly enjoy around 60% of it and I’ve been listening to a lot of the songs on repeat. But I am just not as invested as I would like to be. On a side note, is it just me or does the album feel a little too rushed (despite its long production period)? I would have wanted the album to reflect the three years worth of thought and effort that were supposedly put into it but that’s honestly not the vibe I am getting here. I mean, they decided to include an instrumental of one of the tracks AND a literal copy-paste version of a previous album track, that just screams last minute decision to me. I guess it’s because the actual production didn’t start until much later so ultimately, there was a lot of rushing involved but still, it’s a shame.

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～ ●～●～●～●～

M1. Butterfly Dream: I feel like everything has already been said about this. It’s fun with the visuals of the PV but without those, the song loses a lot of its charm for me. Even though it’s the leading track of the album, I find it a bit underwhelming, maybe because the melody isn’t really resonating with me? Also, not a huge fan of how Wakana seems to over-affect (if that’s the right word?) her voice during quite a few parts of the song (especially during the chorus) to sound cute/innocent. She sometimes does this for certain types of anisong covers but it’s honestly not the most flattering singing style in my opinion. I guess the outward “cuteness” of the vocals appeals to a wider audience so it’s not a bad thing per se. I mean, there must be a reason why they picked this as promo track for the album (Rating: 2.5/5) M2. Rapa Nui: Definitely the most exciting and refreshing track on the album. The Celtic(?) sound matches Wakana’s voice perfectly. Kinda sounds like something you would hear at a medieval festival. Reminds me a bit of Kalafina’s “Moonfesta” or Hikaru’s “Fili”. Based on the title, I would have expected the song to sound totally different but I am honestly not mad about how it turned out. It’s great that they used the Rapa Nui language for some lines, spices up the whole thing. I initially believed that the song could have benefited from a stronger chorus but by now I’m literally obsessed with it, can’t get the melody out of my head :P Some of those ultra-high notes don’t sound pleasant to my ears but it’s not on a level where it takes away from my enjoyment. Contemplated taking half a point off for it but at the end of the day, it’s not worth it. It’s such a superb track (Rating: 5/5) M3. 標 (Shirushi): Sometimes this song doesn’t really affect me all that much and other times it makes me cry like a baby (especially when Wakana sings “この先も力に歌うから”). In many ways, it reminds me of “Ai no Hana” which has a similar theme and is one of my favourite tracks from Wakana’s first album but I need to hear it live to get the full experience. The same is the case for “Shirushi”. And I also have to be in the right mood for it. I am not 100% sold on the melody but Wakana’s vocals are gorgeous and the emotion she puts into her singing is just out of this world. On top of that, we have beautiful lyrics and a precious backstory, I can’t help but give this song a high rating (Rating: 4/5) M4. 希望 (Kibou): With the exception of “Rapa Nui” this is probably the only track that instantly clicked with me. Even when we just got a snippet of it, I immediately fell in love. The melody is just the right amount of cheesy in a good way, it hits me right in the feels. I think it comes closest to a standard power ballad or a 90s pop ballad. I am a huge sucker for those and it is obviously the type of song I love to hear from Wakana. Is it just me though or could Wakana have used a more flattering singing style for the chorus? She is going very high and it tends to sound a bit strained. For me, this is on the very edge of sounding screechy, a little higher, a little flatter and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it. It’s clearly a challenging track but not necessarily something that Wakana can’t handle imo. Really curious how she will be handling those parts during a live performance. Hopefully she can tweak her style a bit to make it more suitable for the song. Another tiny nitpick is the bland bridge, I wish it had a little more oomph, it’s neither here nor there but oh well, I am so smitten with this song that I can’t really focus on any of the negative aspects (Rating: 4.5/5) M5. 殻 (Kara): Who thought it was a good idea to do a “Tsubasa 2.0.”? I really wish they would have come up with something else. They had more than enough time to look into other options. I understand the intention of course, “Tsubasa” is solid and highlights some of the grittier parts of Wakana’s voice but that doesn’t warrant a blatant rip-off. Enough complaining though, I feel like I am way too harsh on “Kara”. On its own merits, it’s actually quite fun and yeah, just like its predecessor it works flawlessly to highlight Wakana’s voice in a different way, I like her more feisty singing style. Objectively speaking, I really can’t fault this song but it still doesn’t quite hit the spot for me. Thankfully, Wakana’s singing makes up for it (Rating: 3.5/5) M6. そのさきへ(Sono Saki e)～Interlude～: The melody is not striking enough. I am usually a sucker for a good instrumental piece but this one falls a little flat unfortunately. Wakana keeps saying that she cried when she first listened to the demo but I really wonder why...However, I will have to say that the gorgeous piano playing of this interlude does appeal to me more than the melody in the normal version of the song (Rating: 2.5/5) M7. KEMONO feat.清塚信也: I’ve said it before and I will say it again, every cell in my body is rejecting this type of song. I know that’s a me-problem and I feel horrible judging Wakana’s work based on such a personal preference.This reminds me way too much of some of Keiko’s city-pop (or whatever) tracks. The singing is too fast, there is no proper flow, the melody is all over the place, it’s just outright chaotic. I am sure there are people who can appreciate this new experimental style but I am unfortunately not one of them. I generally don’t like giving low ratings but it is how it is, please know that this is purely subjective (Rating: 1/5) M8. 明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau): The melody right at the beginning and sprinkled in-between the verses is what initially attracted me to the song, so pretty. However, the rest of the song didn’t leave a huge impression when I first heard it during the Christmas concert. I remember I compared it to “Boku Dake no Stage” because it was also composed by Takebe and I thought it was similarly bland. I realise now that this was a very unfair comparison because those songs have absolutely nothing in common. “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau” is much better imo and aligns more with my preferences in terms of music style. Maybe a comparison to “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” would have been better even though Takebe didn’t compose that one... Anyways, after letting the song marinate for a while, I’ve surprisingly come to love “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau”. I’d even go as far as to say it has become one of my favourite tracks from the album. The arrangement is lovely and so are the lyrics. Also adore Wakana’s singing here (Rating: 4/5) M9. Flag: This is probably the most Kalafina/FictionJunction-esque track on the entire album so I understand why it is so popular among YK/Kalafina fans. Personally, I have never been the biggest fan of YK’s more generic anisongs so this track initially didn’t impress me all that much, it was just okay for me, nothing too outstanding. But after hearing it performed live multiple times, it has significantly grown on me. It’s a really solid song and it works perfectly with Wakana’s voice. Even though it might not be the type of music I naturally gravitate towards, it’s still a banger. Especially when you take the Kalafina nostalgia into account. Fun fact, the most recent version with Sakurada has made me add 0.5 points to my initial rating, it was just so good (Rating: 4/5).  M10. そのさきへ (Sono Saki e): Ughhh, I really wanted to love this song but so far my attempts have all failed. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get into it. I mean, there must be something to love about it when I hear Wakana rave about the demo tape as if it were the best thing since sliced bread. What exactly is it about the melody that made her cry so much? It still baffles me that this was written by the same person who was responsible for “Kinmokusei” which I absolutely adore. There are some tiny similarities but all in all, “Sono Saki e” feels rather uninspired in comparison to “Kinmokusei”, at least in my opinion. Hearing it live during the release event has also not done anything to make me appreciate the song more. I am afraid it is a lost cause... (Rating: 2/5) M11. あとひとつ (Ato Hitotsu): Nothing much to say here aside from the fact that I adore this song and I am really glad that it’s finally included in an official release. I prefer to hear it live but the studio recording is surprisingly touching too. So understated and yet so charming. I like how Wakana keeps referring to it as prayer, it’s a fitting description. Perfect delivery, as always (Rating: 5/5)

[sir-klauz]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

I am pretty bad at describing things and how I feel about stuff unless it’s in the moment due to my ADHD but I’ll try do them justice with as much about why I like them, if I can! If I struggle I’ll just post the book description in quotations!

1. Howl’s Moving Castle

When I watched this it opened up my love for anime and manga that still continues to this day. Both the book and movie are fantastic. I adore Howl. Sophie is hilarious.

2. Requiem of the Rose King

Important heart manga, and I’d advise reading the manga first as the anime sadly missed out so much key information about what was supposed to be happening, I’m not exactly sure why honestly aside from perhaps censorship? Lots of people complained and the studio didn’t care at all, and said they’re not going to listen to westerners complaining or something like ok nobody watch their animes then in that case.

The story is based around Richard the 3rd, of York and the plot is about how he was actually intersex and gay he later realised once he could finally reveal his body to a lover, and approaches the trial living as this, LGBTQIA+ individuals can face, with their own dysphoria, discrimination, bullying, and struggles to be intimate due to feelings about our body being seen. The secret lust and public hatred for us. And about how he threw everything away to become king.

3. The Umbrella Academy

Partly inspired my own initial interest in taking my comic drawings seriously and become a comic book artist, Gerard Way is my favourite comic book creator. The stories are so interesting and imaginative, I like this and Killjoys.

4. Dear Door

Angels, demons, devil, unicorns, quiteeeee intense and 18+

A police officer who recently lost his wife becomes a portal to Hell that Cain, a part of Satan, can use to jump between worlds. I’m not gonna spoil how. 😝

5. Therapy Game

My favourite grumpy photographer qween and dummy red head vet. A guy got broken up with by his gf, gets drunk, ends up in a gay bar and sleeps with Minato, our other main character. Waking up he gets told what happened and eventually takes responsibility and realises he’s very much queer.

I just really enjoy all the mangas, I own nearly all of them now!

6. Kamisama Hajimemashita

Been a favourite anime since like… 2015??? Possibly, maybe 2013 but I’m not super sure. A human girl gets made the new god of a shrine because she’s homeless and the actual god doesn’t want to be there anymore. Arriving she realises a fox spirit familiar lives there and cares for the shrine, a grumpy one at that who misses his old master a lot. Their funny little story starts here.

7. Joou to Shitateya

“It is said that if you wear the suits from that store situated at the antique street, SHIDA, you will achieve success. During a break in his work, interior designer Jouno Oumi visits the store and meets a frightening and blunt man. He is the legendary tailor, Shida. Seeing the appearance of Shida who takes pride in his work, Oumi begins to feel a longing for the man, and an attraction starts to form... This is a love story between an obstinate interior designer and a hard-faced man.”

So. Good.

8. Fundari, Kettari, Aishitari

He’s just so hot that’s pretty much it ngl haha, and the jewellery he wears?? Yeah. I like guys who wear jewellery if you hadn’t noticed..Howl..

9. Under The Green Light

An orphan sculptor wants to sculpt Jins body, will it be easy to convince him?

“In a grim world stained with dirty money and betrayal, Mathew steels his nerves as he approaches the executive of the Shinhae Faction, Jin Cheong-woo, and gives him a new ambition... “However, there are conditions: First, you must obey my words unconditionally.””

I like the incorporation of queer artists and the like characters being included in manga, I can relate to the story more and I also enjoy doing the things they do. If it’s romance it can be quite sensual too.

10. Ten Count

This one is special as it addresses an example of what living with severe OCD can be like, and being able to have a romantic relationship at all due to physical contact setting it off more. I have less severe OCD but on bad days I’ve scrubbed my hands raw, to name one thing. It meant a lot to experience a character with something I go through, and not only neurotypical able bodied characters.

[neyxmessi]

will you continue with the blog when neymessi separates or will you change the theme?

Oof what a loaded question lol. Tbh I’ve met so many amazing people through here, and I honestly really like (soccer/football) now outside of just neymessi, that I find it really hard that I would stop the blog. Maybe there’s a chance I would be a bit less active on it, but definitely not gotten rid of altogether.

The theme might change a little bit, because I’ll probably watch whatever team Leo plays for and Ney separately and then post about them. And I’m kinda interested in other teams so there’s a potential for it to be multi fandom. But even then I feel like it would still be mainly centered on Neymar and Leo. So like multi fandom but majority of it would still be Leo and Neymar. Idk. I think it also depends on what other mutuals I make in the coming months 🤷‍♀️

But that’s not to say that there won’t be future neymessi stuff popping up if they don’t play for the same club anymore! For instance:

1) well this is a bad example LOL but if they play on the same team then duh I’m in and I’m gonna post them for the next couple years I have with them

2) they could play in the same league and then we get 2 matches of them (maybe if they live in close enough cities they could ac hang out or something and post it??? idk that’s wishful thinking lol)

3) potential CL playing against each other

4) Copa America!!

5) idk maybe they’ll be cute bfs and go visit each other or something 🙄🙄

But honestly this is a very good question and one that I guess I’ll figure out later on?? It’s hard since PSG’s season is over about a month earlier than other leagues, so that gives a few months of time where nothing is going on (unless there are friendlies or things like that) in the soccer/football world.

I feel like I expect this blog to go in a direction that is still centered on Neymar and Leo, but maybe more so individual than collective if they’re separated?? (simply because I have no idea when I’ll run out of photos/clips of them together). As long as I have stuff in my camera roll (even if that’s legit months from now lol) then I’ll still post them. I didn’t do all this investigating for nothing 🙄🙄

But if I ever do find a neymessi moment after I think I’ve found all there is of them, best believe I’ll post it.

I’m a neymessi stan for life 😙😙

Hope this answers your question anon!!

[the-unknown-void]

Half-Life x Warriors AU Vague plot summary(Gist of it) PART 1: Main

Before you read this, read this. Or don’t , idk I’m not in control of you ANYWAY WARNING THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG

This is going to be a vague summary of what I have down so far for my AU, be warned my thoughts tend to be very disorganized so this will be too since.. I haven’t thought of absolutely everything so there’s quite a few holes. There’s a whole slue of stuff I haven’t even confirmed or decided on yet, and this story may change through time, it’s not even entirely complete man- Most of this of thought of on a whim

You may notice, this is a Part 1, because this is only the story based around the main Half-Life Series. (HL, HL2, Episode 1, Episode 2) What’s Part 2 gonna be? Hunt Down the Freeman or ValeClan’s story Part 3 will then be Portal/Portal 2′s story, RiftClan in this case

Things like Opposing Force, Blue Shift, and Decay will likely fall under like.. smaller individual character-related stories that I’ll maybe get into eventually.

Yet ANOTHER disclaimer: Some parts are not entirely based on canon, some are made up by myself for the sake of fitting into a Warriors style story. Plus a lot of things from canon had to be cut in order not make this TOO convoluted and messy. For example, Skipping over the Xen invasion for the Combine invasion. Though they’re still might be aliens in this story for the sake of being Half-Life.

Feel free to use my askbox or comment if there’s something that confuses you or you’re just curious about something! Or feel free to give suggestions and ideas! Hope you enjoy!

Here’s the clans and who they are in case you don’t read the original post:

MESACLAN This is Black Mesa(and a few other related characters) DARKCLAN These are the Black Ops UNITEDCLAN This is the entire US Military RIFTCLAN This is Aperture Science EASTCLAN These are the resistance or Black Mesa East SNOWCLAN More rebels, this is White Forest VALECLAN This is the crew of the Avalon Vale (Hunt Down the Freeman) OVERCLAN This is the Combine Overwatch

Everything else like Starclan, the Dark Forest, Loners, Rogues, and Kittypets are all the same. And I’ll tell you who’s who as I go, names with brackets around them and no warrior name means I haven’t given them one yet. (which may change sometime)

Want the allegiances? Here they are!

Now that you have that, let’s get into it- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One upon a time there were thr- Actually four clans. DarkClan, UnitedClan, MesaClan, and RiftClan. (Most likely living in a mesa? Unconfirmed) As you’d expect for clans in Warrior cats, these clans never quite got along. MesaClan and RiftClan sure as hell didn’t! MesaClan’s leader, [Dr. Breen] seemingly insisted on creating as many territory disputes as physically possible, cutting down on RiftClan’s territory bit by bit, this created a pretty hostile environment for RiftClan and they were getting pretty tired of it, their warriors were getting injured pretty much anytime they left camp so what did they do? They left. They straight up left, and the other clans didn’t do anything about it.

Little do they know, that would be their greatest mistake.  MesaClan’s medicine cat, [Eli] receives a message from an unknown “Starclan” cat, “Prepare for Unforeseen Consequences.” [Eli] tries to warn his leader, that they should try to get RiftClan back because they were going to be punished be the ancestors, but [Dr. Breen] didn’t care to listen, he thought it was good thing that RiftClan was gone.

(You’re going to have to see Part 3 when I get to it for what really happens to RiftClan)

Now we’re onto the actual story, there were three clans.  And one day, a great storm occurred, and a powerful army of rogues(These are OverClan later, unconfirmed whether they’re aliens in this) attacked MesaClan. DarkClan and UnitedClan struggled with the storm, living on much lower ground than MesaClan, their territories were getting flooded.  Both clans decided their best bet was to take the high ground and invade MesaClan territory, thinking they could take on a wild pack of rogues, that the rogue attack would just make it easier to claim the territory.

They. Were. Wrong.

DarkClan and UnitedClan were unaware they had BOTH went to take the high ground and now they were fighting each other as well! It was the bloodiest battle anycat had ever saw, no one would be left victorious.. That is, except the rogues. The clans were done for, any who survived had no option but to flee. Or.. Join sides with the rogues, like [Dr. Breen] had done.

Now scattered, some tried remaining with what was left of their clans, some went to become rogues themselves, or even kittypets.

What was left of DarkClan and UnitedClan had decided to join up and create a new clan together, ValeClan. At an abandoned fishing dock with a boat (Will be explored in Part 2, Hunt Down the Freeman)

Now what happens to MesaClan? Well they have no deputy, they no longer have a leader. The only cat left who can lead them is their medicine cat, [Eli]. [Eli] leads MesaClan’s remnants to what they hope will be safe new territory, unfortunately it’s the alleys of a twoleg city. Leading to a portion of the clan to go on a mission to travel even further in search of more optimal territory for their clan. (This group becomes SnowClan in the forest) The cats left behind decide to call themselves EastClan, with [Magnusson] leading the cats who decided to journey farther, there’s dispute about who will be the leader of EastClan. (and Freeheart[Gordon] is missing if you can’t tell)

Eventually a majority of the clan would vote upon promoting [Eli] from medicine cat to leader for his efforts to guide them safely to their new territory, even losing the use of one of his hind legs in the process. [Eli] was initially hesitant about taking on this role but seeing how much his clan saw in him, he felt honored and took the role of leader over the new EastClan.

New Problem: How do they contact Starclan? They’re too far away from their (unconfirmed area of moonstone/pool use?) To possibly go all the way back, not to mention the danger of the rogues still there. [Eli] despite even having been a medicine cat, hadn’t heard anything from their ancestors since the great battle occurred.. However he has seen the same mysterious cat who told him about the “Unforeseen Consequences”. (StarClan is literally blocked rn. [Eli] doesn’t have his 9 lives) Except this time, the message he receives is this: “The right tom in the wrong place can make all the difference.”

- - - - - -

That’s not the end, that’s just all I have already written down. Half-Life 2′s parts are.. currently still extremely fuzzy in my mind.

But back with the rogues, [Dr. Breen] decided to talk with them and join them. Offering that they’ll be even stronger if they become a clan themselves, creating OverClan, which he leads with his new deputy, Mossstone[Mossman].

And of course Freeheart[Gordon] returns, OverClan finds EastClan. EastClan is forced out of its territory to become one with SnowClan again. [Eli] steps down as leader after Mossstone[Mossman]’s betrayal, making Freeheart[Gordon] the new leader, Freestar.

Suspiciously, Freeheart/Freestar does have 9 lives, despite Starclan being gone for ages.. Hm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay it’s the end for real this time, I think.. that felt like eternity to write I really hope you enjoy cuz I enjoy thinking about it Idk if you tell I was getting a bit tired at the end heheh;;

I decided I will probably talk about this enough, I made a separate blog @hlwcau So um.. go look at that for when I post more on this AU PART 2: HUNT DOWN THE FREEMAN/VALECLAN >> I’m dead after writing all that, I’ll get back to you soon I promise

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! My Internet gradually stops working well, but I’m still fine and my family is still safe. As always, I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate all the kinds words, messages, financial and emotional support you’ve given me. The fact that the world has so many wonderful and compassionate people is one of my comfort thoughts at a time like this, where there is so much grief and fear wherever you go.

I’m once again at the stage where I feel rather optimistic. I don’t think this war will last long. Both Ukrainian and Russian news (and I’m sure plenty of  foreign news) are distorting the truth in completely opposite ways, to the point where it’s difficult to say which of them is closer to being objective, but facts remain facts, and they help make some conclusions. I’m hopeful that my home will remain a safe harbor for me and my family. It’s possible that Russian troops might use one of the roads nearby to make their way into the city, but even that is far enough, and they won’t be interested in this location much, there is really nothing of importance here.

Many of the shops nearby are working, and with the help of those who contributed to my Patreon, my Mom and I keep buying more food, water, meds, and pet food. Today we volunteered to look after a pet shop - the owner has fled and told shop assistants to leave all the animals to die. Since the assistants want to leave Kiev, too, they tried to find someone who could come inside and feed the pets daily. We live close by, so we said we can do it. 

I’ve started writing short semi-fictional stories that play well into my mood. Maybe I’ll make it into a book at some point. I miss my fandoms and my fics, and I hope I’ll be able to get back to them very soon. It’s just so difficult to enjoy something when fear and worry became a constant part of my life. On good days like this one, I manage to distract myself for some time, but even that doesn’t last long, and before I know it, I’m back to reading the news, trying to separate lies from truths. 

Answering questions from some asks: I’m a born Ukrainian, but Russian is my first language, just like it is for the majority of our population (if you count Crimea). So I tend to spell “Kiev” like this instead of using the Ukrainian version of “Kyiv.” Leaving without any of my family members and all of my pets is not something I can consider right now. I love them so much, they are my world. I’m not sure I can envision life without them. We all have a very close, maybe even obsessive relationship with each other, and the idea of separation is a nightmare. Also, like I mentioned before, there are many risks involved with the trip itself. 

That said, if things get really, really bad here, I might take this risk. For now, staying seems safer and better than escaping, but it might change. I still can’t imagine leaving my loved ones, but if it comes to surviving or staying with them... maybe I’ll choose the former. I don’t know yet, I can’t bear thinking about it. 

I want to stay as optimistic as I am today. Also, sorry for not replying to asks individually: I want to keep records of my own posts for later, and this format is more convenient for me. I also don’t want to clutter people’s dashboards with posts that I never thought I would be making on this site. 

Thank you again, each of you. Here are two selfies I took with one of my cats and one of my pigeons today. I’m praying that we all stay safe tonight and tomorrow.

[nibeul]

OK I FORGOT I WAS GOING TO MAKE THIS POST BUT. A couple days ago I commented on @symeona​ ‘s post about how I had a bunch of different ideas for what could’ve been done for the sequels, then I realized they actually worked better as a series of the sorts so. 

Basically, you’d have a TV series that’s set during the Imperial Era, though instead of some great big conflict, it’s focused on the individuals—the little guys, if you will—and it takes place from 16BBY–10BBY with no real chronological order. How it would work is each episode would be maybe an 30 minutes to an hour, and you’re introduced to new characters and stories every time. No one episode is the same, and I had a couple of ideas already, so I’m just gonna dump these here and maybe add more later:

Episode 1: Home Alone

Set at the core of the Empire, Coruscant, the episode centers around a young, half-twi’lek mechanic who runs a droid repair shop in the lower levels. Just barely scraping by with credits, they find the deal of a lifetime when a Senator and her family offers them half a million credits to keep her hidden from the Empire. They accept, hiding the Senator in their shop and calling on favors in order to get her off planet, all the while setting up various traps for the Imperials to run into once they arrive. 

Episode 2: The Guardian

The next episode focuses on an old Togruta who has long since abandoned his title of “Jedi Master” after surviving Order 66. He resides on a backwater planet untouched by the Empire in hopes that he will be left alone, though his isolation is broken when a young girl comes to him for help. Her village has been terrorized by pirates for weeks now, and after hearing tales of a great warrior living in the open fields, she took it upon herself to find him. When he initially denies, she reveals that she’s Force Sensitive in a fit of rage, and he decides to train her so that she can protect her village instead. 

Episode 3: Do Your Loyalties Lie?

Episode 3 follows a former Republic Scientist—now Imperial—who has recently been re-stationed on Kashyyyk due to his botanical knowledge. He’s happy to comply at first, however, he’s horrified by the treatment of the Wookiees by the Imperials and begins to question his loyalties as well as the differences between the Republic and the Empire. After encountering Saw Gerrara and his rebel cell, he has a choice to make: remain with the Empire, or defect to the Rebellion?

Episode 4: Top Gun

A young pilot competes to be at the top of her flight group in the newly established Imperial Flight Academy. With a big test approaching, she grows frustrated with her inability to top the best of their class and constantly butts heads with the other pilots in her squadron. She goes to one of the older recruits for advice, and ends up finding a mentor figure who guides her throughout the rest of the episode.

Episode 5: My Other Half

A pair of twins are sent off to the Imperial Academy by their parents, though during their first night at the Academy, one reveals to the other that they plan on joining the Rebel Alliance instead. Split between paths, the remaining twin feels betrayed and questions their purpose/what they’re fighting for. Instead of focusing on this singular moment, the episode takes the viewer through their relationship growing up together before reaching its climax, aka, the moment of questioning. 

Episode 6: The Goodbye

The episode begins with a Chagrian Rebel saying goodbye to his mother before going off on a mission while she sings a soft song and it’s established as a ritual between them. He leaves a pouch of credits with her, promising that he’ll see her again, before leaving with the rest of his squad. We follow the squad throughout the episode, though right before its conclusion, we learn that both the Chagrian and his mother both knew that he was being sent on a death mission. The episode concludes with a flashback to the mother rocking him as a child, humming the same song that she sang at the beginning of the episode.

Episode 7: For the Empire

We are introduced to two inquisitors who have been romantically involved with each other and are working to keep their affair a secret from their superiors. The episode mostly focuses on their relationship—hands brushing against each other, soft forehead taps, interlaced fingers, just small things—until the very end where they are in a training session with the rest of the Inquisitors. Vader steps in and calls them both forward, ordering them to fight to the death. 

Episode 8: Shiny and New

Freshly graduated, a stormtrooper is sent off on their first mission with their newly assigned platoon. The group chats and jokes amongst themselves on the way there—something meant to purposefully “humanize” them—and the shiny Storm Trooper quickly feels at home, molding well with the others. Their given objective is to destroy a village which higher ups have said is full of Rebel fighters. They meet little resistance on the way in, though the shiny Storm Trooper quickly discovers this is because the village is actually fully of civilians. 

Episode 9: Familiar Faces A former clone trooper lives in seclusion with his adopted son, offering his services up as a medic in order to scrap together credits though otherwise keeping under the radar. When he’s called into the village to help an injured stranger, he brushes it off as another day on the job, though ends up finding more than he bargained for when he comes face to face with his Jedi General for the first time since the Clone Wars. 

Episode 10: Underdogs

Set on one of the lesser-known midrim planets, a village has been under the oppressive thumb of their Empire-appointed governor for months now. Said governor is unbearably corrupt, leaving the rest of the village in poverty, and while the elders seem to have resigned to their fate, the younglings of the village are more determined. A group of orphan kids band together to fight back, repurposing discarded imperial droids and astromechs in order to aid their cause. 

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head, though like I said, I’ll probably add more in the future :)

[no-reply95]

The Power Of Framing: John and Paul

Over the last few days I've been posting some quotes of interest that I'd bookmarked from Mark Lewisohn's Tune In book.

Tune In's reputation preceded it, every Beatles podcast I listened to mentioned it, Lewisohn's name either came up in conversation or the man himself would turn up for an interview so it got to the point that Tune In was so ubiquitous that I had to read the book and form an opinion for myself.

There are a lot of opinions I have on Tune In, both good and bad, but I'm not going touch on all of that here, at least not in this post.

The aspect of Lewisohn's narrative style that I want to get into is the way he frames the "bad" behaviour displayed by John and Paul.

There are two quotes from the book that I want to analyse, I'll start with John first:

John

“George was second only to John in the swallowing of Prellies and knew better than most the sum effect of taking too many for too long, how the combination of pills plus booze plus several sleepless days caused hallucinations and extreme conduct. He’d describe one occasion when he, Paul and Pete were lying in their bunk beds, trying to sleep, only for John to barge into the room in a wild state. ‘One night John came in and some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe. Everybody was lying in bed thinking, “Oh fuck, I hope he doesn’t kill me.” [He was] a frothing mad person - he knew how to have “fun”.

Handling John was something his friends were well used to doing. If he didn’t murder them in their beds there was no greater buddy. They might fear for their lives but they loved him still. No way would they walk out and join another group. John was just John, and Paul and George’s hero-worship stayed fully intact.”

The above passage comes from the stint in Hamburg directly after Stu's death. John had always been the one to take the most prellies, as Lewisohn highlights, but he relays the fact that John was even more messed up than before subsequent to Stu's sudden death. I've highlighted a couple of lines from the extract to highlight how John's behaviour is framed by Lewisohn:

"the combination of pills plus booze plus several sleepless days caused hallucinations and extreme conduct"

From the outset Lewisohn is careful to outline the fact that John is under the influence of both bills and booze as well as being exhausted as a result of "several sleepless days" which has the sum impact of causing hallucinations and "extreme conduct" so in short, Lewisohn suggests that this behaviour from John is atypical and directly related to the substances and conditions he is under, the subsequent behaviour he displays, therefore, isn't a function of his innate personality, just a reaction to the chemicals and circumstances he currently finds himself beholden to.

"he, Paul and Pete were lying in their bunk beds, trying to sleep"

In terms of those impacted by John's actions, it isn't one individual that Lewisohn highlights, it's George, Paul and Pete, which to me suggests that anyone could have been on the receiving end of John's outburst. When describing the bedroom scene prior to John's entrance, Lewisohn describes the three guys as "trying to sleep", so a picture is painted of a quiet room where there's a lack of activity as everyone is tired and, either on their way to or currently, asleep.

"some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe"

Firstly, the story that George relates (source Anthology, 2000), unlike the scene Lewisohn sets, makes it clear that there was only one target for John's outburst, not George, Pete or even Paul but an unnamed woman whose only crime was to be "in bed with Paul" so, far from trying to get to sleep, Paul was in fact having sex with this woman when John barged into the room. John, in the altered state that he's in, zeroes in on this woman by cutting up her clothes and stabbing at the wardrobe - it's a scary scene that George describes, so what is the lasting impression Lewisohn leaves us with?

"John was just John, and Paul and George’s hero-worship stayed fully intact.”

Despite the shock of the scene that George describes, ultimately John's behaviour has no lasting impact on his relationships with the others or on the future of the band. Lewisohn confirms that "Paul and George's hero-worship stayed fully intact" so not only was their view of John unharmed but they continued to hold him in the highest possible esteem, but how did they rationalise the unpredictability of John's behaviour? Well, "John was just John" the others knew that this was how John got from time to time, this was nothing new for them and their hero worship continued on, the core relationships were unaffected and the operation of the band was unscathed because there was no way that George and Paul would ever leave and join another band so, all in all, no harm done.

Paul

“Brian, John and George went to the Beehive and John used a public box to call Paul, returning with the message ‘He says he’s not coming.’ Brian must have been apoplectic: they’d be unable to play the booking, letting down the university and their paying audience, embarrassing him, ruining their chance of a rebooking, and undoing his repair work to the Beatles’ old bad reputation. He went back to his office to phone Paul, but Paul refused to speak. Jim informed Brian that Paul said he wouldn’t be turning up, and that was that.

Recalling the night five years later, Paul told of how, having discovered Brian and the others hadn’t waited outside his house for him, he decided ‘Fuck them - if they can’t be arsed waiting for me, I can’t be arsed going after them. So I sat down and watched telly.’ Jim was unable to persuade Paul to change his mind. Paul said he’d felt he’d always been ‘the keen one’, so now he’d go sharp the other way and make no effort at all.

John saw a bigger picture, and it would be surprising if it wasn’t equally obvious, or made obvious to Brian and George. He likened Paul’s enduring snag with Brian to his other long-standing difficulty: ‘[Brian] and Paul didn’t get along - it was a bit like [Stuart and Paul] between the two of them’.”

The above passage comes from a time in the Beatles' career, not long after they've agreed to take Brian on as their manager. Brian's hard work on their behalf is starting to pay off and they're getting the opportunity to do loads of gigs for good money. Lewisohn discusses an instance where Brian goes to 20 Forthlin Road to pick up Paul for the night's gig only to be told that he's running late and won't be able to get going for a while. As with the first passage, I've highlighted a couple of lines to highlight how Paul's behaviour is framed:

"Brian must have been apoplectic"

In this passage Lewisohn provides his interpretation of how Brian must have felt to turn up at Paul's house only to find that he'd defied his instructions to be on time. Right from the beginning of this story we are able to empathise with Brian, as the principle victim of Paul's actions.

"letting down the university and their paying audience, embarrassing him, ruining their chance of a rebooking, and undoing his repair work to the Beatles’ old bad reputation."

For the avoidance of doubt, Lewisohn details the wide reaching impact of Paul's behaviour and the list of the aggrieved is long: the university, the paying audience and ultimately the band, all the hard work that they and Brian have put in has been undone by Paul's actions and the tarnished reputation of old is back with a vengeance.

"John saw a bigger picture, and it would be surprising if it wasn’t equally obvious, or made obvious to Brian and George. He likened Paul’s enduring snag with Brian to his other long-standing difficulty: ‘[Brian] and Paul didn’t get along - it was a bit like [Stuart and Paul] between the two of them’.”

If the reader was left wondering if this was a one-off incident or if Paul was just having a bad day that he'd taken out on Brian, Lewisohn suggests that this was, in fact, part of a pattern of behaviour as "John saw a bigger picture" and Lewisohn remarks that "it would be surprising" if both Brian and George weren't equally aware of the bigger forces at play here. To reinforce the lasting implications of Paul's actions, Lewisohn talks about "Paul's enduring snag with Brian" and then likens it to Paul's other "long-standing difficulty" with Stu, which triggers the readers' knowledge of Paul's jealousy of Stu's closeness to John and invites the reader to also view Paul's relationship with Brian through that lens. The extract is then capped up by a quote from John (source, McCabe and Schonfled interview, 1971), seemingly, supporting Lewisohn's premise by linking the clash between Paul and Brian to the clash, that Lewisohn has already expertly laid out in his book, between Paul and Stu.

How the framing differs

In both excerpts I've pulled Lewisohn uses direct quotes from the principles as well as his own interpretation, both to varying impacts.

In the first excerpt, Lewisohn provides a context for John's behaviour, it's not long after Stu has died, John is under the influence of a cocktail of drugs and substances, so we're led to feel sympathy for the state that he's in and to excuse the frightening behaviour that subsequently follows. Lewisohn doesn't offer any context for Paul's behaviour, we assume that Paul is sober and of sound mind so there's no confusion as to the fact that Paul is in full control of his actions so we're less likely to excuse or able to rationalise his actions.

The preamble that Lewisohn writes prior to George's recounting of John barging into the room, mentions George, Pete and Paul being present, so Lewisohn gives us the impression that John's later actions are almost random, maybe it could have been Pete, or George, it just happened to be the woman in bed with Paul who triggered John's anger. We never hear about how the woman reacted to having her clothes torn to shreds just because she slept with Paul, Lewisohn doesn't offer any thoughts to Paul's reaction to having John barging into the room and raising hell while he was sharing an intimate moment with this woman. In stark contract, we're told precisely by Lewisohn about how he presumes Brian felt in the face of Paul's obstinance and the seriousness isn't lost on the reader because every possible group of people negatively impacted is called out with evocative language (i.e. embarrassing, ruining).

Lewisohn frames the Hamburg scissors incident in such a way that it's clear that this was just a blip on the band's radar, the "hero-worship" of George and Paul is undimmed and we're given the framework, either by accident or design, by which to view any similar outburst in the future, it's just John, he may overdo it from time to time but his negative actions will never be consequential because the love and worship the others have for him will never be overcome "no way would they walk out and join another group" because no matter what John did, Paul and George would condone it, stick by him and love him regardless, so why shouldn't we?

However, Lewisohn couldn't be clearer that Paul's disobedience of Brian was part of a larger pattern of behaviour that was detrimental to the band, John could see the bigger picture, the same bigger picture that was "obvious" to Brian and George. Rather than startling an unnamed German woman (Lewisohn leaves this to our imagination) Lewisohn carefully plots out how Paul's actions directly hurt the band and the good work they'd been doing with Brian's help. Far from a moment of chemically induced madness, Paul's behaviour is familiar, we've seen it before with Stu, now we're seeing it with Brian - Lewisohn is clear that the seeds of the break up are sewn in Tune In so is he suggesting that the behaviour Paul displays here can also be traced to 1969?

Was this difference in framing called for?

These two stories outlining John and Paul's behaviour aren't identical, one takes place in Hamburg in the privacy of a bedroom and directly impacts two people while the other takes place in Liverpool and directly impacts several people as well as the band, it could be argued that on this basis these situations Lewisohn was justified in framing these two incidents differently.

However, there are several similarities that I can spot between the behaviour John and Paul displayed:

Pattern of behaviour - Lewisohn appears to be making the case that John's outburst was purely circumstantial while Paul's clash with Brian was part of a longstanding jealousy issue Paul had of anyone close to John. I do think that jealousy may have been a factor in the clashes Paul had initially with Brian (as referenced briefly in my Jealous Guys post) but in my opinion there are complexities that exist with Paul's relationship with Brian (namely around Paul's dislike of authority figures and need for control) that don't exist in Paul's relationship with Stu or, further down the road, Yoko as neither Stu nor Yoko were ever in a position of authority over Paul, John didn't bring them into the band as a manager or producer so I think the more natural comparison is Stu and Yoko not Stu and Brian. Further, despite Lewisohn's descriptions to the contrary and lack of relation to a bigger picture, John's behaviour here was in fact part of a pattern of behaviour, this woman wasn't the first and would not be the last of Paul's love interests that John reacted negatively to; Jane Asher, Peggy Lipton and ultimately Linda would feel the brunt of John's negative attention throughout the Beatles and post-Beatles years, this was an opportunity for Lewisohn to lay the groundwork of that but unfortunately he didn't want to connect these particular dots.

Impact on the band - Lewisohn is at pains to outline how George and Paul weren't going anywhere and there's no suggestion that John's actions would have any impact on the band or its future but, with the hindsight we have, is that correct? Even before Hamburg, John is abusing alcohol, largely to numb the effects of the sudden death of his mother, then in Hamburg, he's now abusing drugs too which negatively impacts his behaviour. For the rest of the Beatle years John's substance abuse issues appear again and again (Bob Wooler incident at Paul's 21st birthday, destruction of ego and fall in productivity due to prolonged LSD use, increase in the communication issues in the band in the wake of John and Yoko's heroin addiction). If Lewisohn was really interested in giving us the bigger picture, why didn't he outline the detrimental impact that John's substance abuse issues were having on the band, all it would have taken was for him to help the reader to understand how the woman and Paul felt as a result of John's actions but instead he uses this story as another opportunity to reinforce the idea that Paul and George hero-worshipped John.

Links to the break up: In many of his podcast interviews (Nothing Is Real and Fabcast spring to mind) Lewisohn is clear that, although the events of the break-up are years away from being committed to paper, the roots are laid out in Tune In. Paul's clash with Brian is framed in such a way to underscore how it fostered long difficulties between Paul and the band's manager in a way that was obvious to the others, does that sound familiar? If we sub Klein in for Brian, we've suddenly been transported to the summer of '69, I believe this is intentional and given the pretty uncharitable way Paul's actions are described (Paul should have been on time but leaving without him so that he had to take several buses instead only made everyone later and poured gasoline on an already open flame, neither Paul, Brian or the band won in this situation which I think all parties came to realise at a later stage) we're already being conditioned to believe that by the time it's 1969 this reckoning for Paul has been a long time coming and we should be glad that John, George, Ringo and Klein are finally stand up to Paul's immature power plays. However, can the break up also be traced to John's actions. As already discussed, the first excerpt outlines one of the first instances of John's substance abuse negatively impacting the band, in 1961 he's destroying a woman's clothing, cock-blocking Paul and terrorising everyone, in 1969 he's in a heroin haze with Yoko which hinders the already frayed communication links with the rest of the band and fosters an environment where, to John, only "JohnandYoko" matter ("I mean, I’m not going to lie, you know. I would sacrifice you all for her [Ono]", Get Back Sessions, 1969) to the extent that they're able to be wooed by Allen Klein who knows exactly what John and Yoko want so they allow him to give it to them, irrespective of what the rest of band need or want.

In the end, I have no problem with either story being included in Tune In, neither John or Paul were saints and in these instances we can see aspects of their personality that will feature, for better and for worse, over the course of the rest of the Beatles' career and, in John's case, his life. However, it is a shame that time and time again, when given the opportunity to frame John and Paul's actions Lewisohn opts to minimise John's misdeeds via his emphasis on Paul and George's love and patience for him, while for Paul almost no context is provided for his negative actions and Lewisohn subtlety begins to plot the lines that will eventually lead to the 3 to 1 split and the lawsuit that, not only breaks up the band but ensures they never reform again. The part Paul plays in the break-up does have roots in his personality, which we see glimpses of in his interactions with Brian in 1961 (he won't be pushed around and his reaction to being pushed is to fight back not fall in line) but we also see John's role start to take shape too (the unpredictability of his actions under the influence of substances and the chain of events that would occur as a result i.e. LSD - loss of ego - jealousy of Paul's output and his loss of dominance - openness to Klein who identifies John as the leader and reinforces his belief in his supremacy in the Lennon-McCartney partnership as well as filling John with misinformation like reminding him he wrote most of Eleanor Rigby). It's a problem that only Paul's negative reactions and missteps are framed in the wider context of the band because this skews the story and fails to accurately plot the role John also played in the band's demise. If Lewisohn's aim is to provide us with a balanced, definitive take on the band's story then, based on this evidence, he's falling short.

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

~*~

Hello Mojo, hope you're doing well and that you had a good break! I wanted to signal boost the MDZS May Diaspora event collection on AO3, and point out my favorite fic from there: 归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home by dragongirlG! It's both tender and bittersweet and it features such mature writing. The author got some hate for it when it initially got posted so I wanted to counter that and give it some love instead! [Who would do such a thing?!  @dragongirlg-fics I’m sorry that happened to you, and here, have *so many hugs!* I’ll try to do a thing just for the diaspora event, but meanwhile, I’ll just treat this as a follower rec.]

归心似箭 | Longing to Go Home

by dragongirlG (M, 8k, wangxian)

Summary:  The destruction of the Yin Tiger Seal does not kill Wei Wuxian; it ages him instead. He takes shelter in a cave expecting to die, but instead he lives, slowly learning to embrace life with each new day.

Thirteen years later, a young man with a Lan forehead ribbon stumbles into the cave. His name is Lan Sizhui.

~*~

Hi Momjo!!! I recently read the most *adorable* fic, and I loved it so much that it dragged me out of seclusion (read: social anxiety cave) to rec it. It's called 'Covered in Bees' by ScarlettStorm in which the Cloud Recesses is an apiary, and Wei Wuxian has suddenly found himself host to a swarm of bees. ~ @akyra-talanoa

Covered in Bees

by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, wangxian)

Summary: “Cloud Reccesses Apiary,” says a toneless, deep masculine voice, with zero question in it. Wei Ying doesn’t care, because whoever possesses that voice is probably going to come save him from bees like a fucking hero while wearing like, a suit of armor. That’s what you wear to catch bees, right?

“I have like, so many bees outside my front door right now,” he says, mouth running out ahead of him before he can even begin to think about reining it in. “It’s like a sandstorm of bees out there. There are so many bees. I got out of my car and there were just bees and I don’t want these bees. Do you want these bees? Please tell me you will come get these bees. I can’t leave my house and I have enough food for maybe a week but then I’m gonna have to learn how to cook dry beans and no one wants that, especially not me.” Wei Ying runs out of air, takes a breath, and belatedly adds, “My name is Wei Ying. Hi.”

Or: The beekeeping AU that no one asked for.

~*~

Hi, you are a bless to this fandom. Your blog feels like a library, so thoroughly arranged and always within hand reach. [Thank you, wow!]  Recently, I was going through Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn is a Wēn tag and came across a fanfic, it has 3 chapters till now and is so intriguing that i thought to recommend it to you. I don't know if I can recommend or if you have already checked the story, The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon by Devipriya. I am in love with this story. I hope you will enjoy it too, do check it out

The legendary Phoenix and his Dragon

by Devipriya (T, 7k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wen Wuxian, the essence of who he is, he is a naughty child, a prankster, an enchanting dizi player, a graceful dancer, an irresistible lover, a truly valiant warrior, a ruthless vanquisher of his foes, a man who left a broken heart in every home, an astute statesman and kingmaker, a thorough gentleman, a righteous individual of the highest order, and the most colorful incarnation.

He has been seen, perceived, understood and experienced in many different ways by different people. Different people saw different facets of who he is. For some, he is God. For some, he is a crook. For some, he is a lover. For some, he is a fighter. He is so many things.

But the phoenix, seen from the eyes of time was just a playful man. A man who plays with his awareness, with his imagination, with his memory, with his life, with his death. An individual who does not just dance with somebody. He dances with life. He dances with his enemy, He dances with the one he loves, He dances even at the moment of his death.

To taste an essence of who is Wen Wuxian, be with me in the journey of exploration, NO! playful exploration of life of a playful man.

~*~

Hi! Thanks for running this blog, it's helped me find so many fics. For your next follower recs post, I wanted to rec "This love like a flood, a fire, a fear" by natcat5. Its summary is vague (which I suspect is why it isn't better known) but it is a beautiful retelling of canon from LWJ's POV with slight canon divergence. I love the author's characterization of him and the prose is gorgeous. It is easily my favorite fic in the entire fandom, and I don't say that lightly. ~ @nyanja14

This love like a flood, a fire, a fear

by natcat5 (M, 57k, wangxian, lan wangji & lan xichen)

Summary:  “I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch everything go wrong.”   - Lemony Snicket

~*~

i came to this ask to rec this baseball one called "Waiting for Spring" by thievinghippo on ao3. It somehow made me care about baseball soooo 'nough said ~ @scifikimmi

Waiting for Spring

by thievinghippo (E, 131, wangxian)

Summary:  “It is a well-known fact across the major leagues that one does not smack Lan Wangji’s ass.”

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. Everyone smacks everyone’s ass in baseball. It’s how the game is played. Lan Wangji does not get to be exempt from this most sacred of baseball traditions.

Wei Wuxian will make sure of that.

Or, a Major League Baseball AU

~*~

hi mojo! i wanted to rec Something Good by boxoftheskyking (a loose sound of music/canon divergence au) and also MDZS: The Golden Engine by iffervescent (immortal wangxian modern au where they gotta solve a mystery and save china, featuring jiang cheng/lan xichen)

Something Good

by boxoftheskyking (T, 43k, wangxian)

Summary:  "That Wei Wuxian, you know he used to be such a promising cultivator. Head Disciple of the Jiang Clan, can you believe it? You see, juniors, the punishment for traveling the path of demonic cultivation. No golden core, not so much as a whisper of spiritual power."

As a punishment for real and imagined crimes, Wei Wuxian is sentenced to work at Cloud Recesses as the lowest of servants. When a surprising reassignment lands him with eleven children to care for, everything changes again.

A Sound of Music AU

MDZS: The Golden Engine

by iffervescent (E, 82k, wangxian, xicheng)

Summary:  In the modern era, immortals Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian return to Gusu. New evil and old friends + new friends and old evils.

~*~

Hi Mojo! First of all let me just tell you that you are amazing and this blog is like a gift from the gods! Bless you and your endless patience and hard work. [Oh, thank you so much!]  I know that you have just accepted follower recs and I have missed miserably but I still wanted to write and bring attention to a writer by the pseudo Xiao_Hua on ao3, I think they are quite good and I just recently found the account with so much content. If you do have the time to check them out, I'd rec catfish, my fox or the red ribbon.

The Red Ribbon

by Xiao_Hua (M, 21k, wangxian, TGCF crossover)

Summary:  Wei WuXian died but not before saving HanGuang-Jun and A-Yuan, leaving so much more behind than just his ribbon.

My Fox

by Xiao_Hua (E, 13k, wangxian)

Summary:  Once he headed to YiLing that all changed for him. His priorities have been mingled with and ordered in complete disarray even without him noticing as he was left heavily influenced by a creature.

Or one where Lan WangJi is a dragon-spirit and he finds his mate in the form of a fox.

Catfish

by Xiao_Hua (E, 15k, wangxian)

Summary:  Wei WuXian has a common sense that believes it has a nine-to-five job while Lan WangJi finds that incredibly hot.

Or one where two catfish realise that neither of them truly catfished.

~*~

Hi Mojo i'm recommending this amazing fic it is called song of joys and regrets. it's a time travel AU it's amazing. And your Blog is a Godsend Thank you! [Aw, you’re so sweet!]  ~ @highgoddess

Song of Joy and Regrets

by HelloKitten (not rated, 59k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Archery competition at Qishan this year has hit a snag. As the Sects face the wrongs perpetrated by their future selves, Wei Wuxian finds himself adopted by half of the cultivation world who are determined to save him from himself.

Baby Wangxian suffers. Adult Wangxian's job here is done.

"I'm starting to see a pattern to all his plans..." "Do they all involve him being bait?" "Yes" came deadpanned responses.

~*~

Here’s a 2021 Reverse Big Bang entry, in time for Father’s Day; [Oops, my bad, sorry!]  Under a Blanket of Black Wings, by ChaoticAndrogynous (#31398395); LWJ, recuperating from the 33 lashes, tells A-Yuan a series of fairytales about a heroic monster and the brave little boy he befriended. Vampire! WWX (in the framing story as well as the story-within-the-story); happy ending.

Under a Blanket of Black Wings

by ChaoticAndrogynous (T, 19k, wangxian)

Summary:  Lan Wangji tells A-Yuan a bedtime story about a beautiful monster and the brave little boy who was his friend. Thirteen years later, the monster returns.

~*~

Hello Mojo! Have you read ‘Key Differences’ by Pupeez4eva? Its a MDZS!WWX meets CQL!WWX and its really good! [It’s on my list!]

Key Differences

by pupeez4eva (T, 6k, wangxian)

Summary:  “I don’t understand,” Wei Wuxian said, while his alternate self continued to stare at him with almost a look of hurt in his eyes. There was longing in there too, which Wei Wuxian would have easily recognised if he paid enough attention. “How could you not get together, after everything. What even went on in the Guanyin Temple if you didn’t confess?”

“The Guanyin Temple,” Wei Ying repeated incredulously. “You’re asking me if I confessed at — honestly, a lot went on that day. It was a life and death situation. There was no confessing.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him, appalled.

(Wherein Wei Wuxian ends up meeting an alternate version of himself who, much to his horror, never married Lan Wangji. Obviously he has to do something to fix this).

~*~

Hey Mojo i would recommend this fanfic if you already haven’t, it’s called “ take me back to a time “ by DizziDreams. It’s sooooo good

take me back to a time

by DizziDreams (T, 144k, wangxian, 3zun)

Summary:  Wei Ying has a lot on his plate right now.

It’s finals week -- which isn’t so bad. He’s never had to study much to do well in classes. But that just means that things are that much more tense with Jiang Cheng, who, as far as Wei Ying can tell, only takes study breaks long enough to glare at Wei Ying where he sits on the couch playing video games.

It’s not studies that have Wei Ying stressed out. It’s everything else. It’s the recruitment for the research trial he’s coordinating. It’s jiejie and her impending marriage to His Royal Douchebag Jin Zixuan. It’s the volunteer work at the palliative care facility. It’s Wen Ning’s worsening condition. It’s Wen Qing working herself thin to care for her brother and Wen Yuan. It’s the way Wen Yuan never seems to have enough food.

So, yeah. There’s enough on Wei Ying’s plate already, meaning it’s not entirely welcome when he comes home and finds a man standing in his bedroom. A man in extravagant white robes, a ribbon tied around his forehead, long hair gathered into a topknot, fist clutching a sword at his side, who asks him, “Where am I?”

~*~

Idk if this has already been rec’d (I’ve been off the grid for a while now), but there’s this absolutely incredible fic called Restitution by an anon on ao3 people should definitely check out!

this one?

on restitution

by Anonymous (M, 78k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian, lan sizhui & wei wuxian, WIP)

Summary:  When Wei Wuxian regains consciousness, he is in a bed. A real, proper bed, not the slab he called a bed in his cave in the Burial Mounds.

Jiang Cheng is glowering above him.

Wei Wuxian doesn't die during the siege of the Burial Mounds. Rather, he is captured in secret and confined at Lotus Pier. Things change accordingly.

~*~

Hi momjo! I feel like every time I come to your blog there's twenty more new and amazing fics for me to read. Thank you for everything you do for this fandom!  [Thank you, sweetie!  And yes, I think there ARE 20 new fics every day out there in the fandom.  It’s amazing!] Today I come bearing my own rec to you. I've recently read this and it's IMO one of the best fics out there. It's called Lapsteel by carriecmoney and it's a modern stormchaser AU featuring country songs and coming home. ~ @manaika-chan​

Lapsteel

by carriecmoney (T, 42k, wangxian)

Summary:  Now and then, I think about you now and then...

It's been thirteen years since Wei Ying ran for the prairies, leaving behind a family in shambles and a secret on the Pacific wind. What happens when the storm he swirled catches up to him?

Modern AU with country music star Lan Zhan, stormchaser Wei Ying, and shared crossroads.

~*~

[shijiujun]

Time for some BL/Danmei novel recs! 

You guys have probably (maybe) seen my novels list here - [X] - but it’s more for my own tracking than anything else, so here’s a brief list (I’ll probably do full ones of the ones I really love in another post, probably on Minmo).

The ones elaborated on below with the asterisks are the novels I’ve actually finished reading.

*since everyone more or less knows MXTX’s works - TGCF, MDZS and SVSSS, I’ll skip those!

1. SCI 迷案集 | SCI Mystery Series by 耳雅*

Summary: Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao are childhood friends and rivals that end up working together under the newly established SCI unit as co-leads, with Bai Yutang providing the brawn as Captain and Zhan Zhao the brains as Vice Captain and the team’s resident genius psychologist. They solve cases together and slowly unravel a wider conspiracy that involves their parents’ generation and beyond. At the same time they also realize that they’re meant for each other!

Other CPs: Bai Jintang (Bai Yutang’s older brother) & the medical examiner, Gongsun Ce, Bai Chi (Bai Yutang’s younger cousin) & magician Zhao Zhen, and at least three other gay pairings, one of which is considered another main couple of sorts from Vol. 2 onwards

Status: Incomplete (Began in 2010, author is still going on strong with one chapter every one or two months, we’re halfway through Vol. 5 right now and it’s been 10 years ;-; Love that the author is going on strong!! Everyone on JJWXC are like “please author it’s okay if you go slow as long as you keep going we’re here for you” and jfc I understand the fear of this not completing, also when will Vol. 5 be completed and printed?!! I need to complete the collection)

Translations: Unfortunately, only the first volume has been translated well so far on novel updates. The one on Wattpad seems to have caught up, but I would not recommend that one.

Drama/Live-Action: Season 1 was filmed and released in 2018 under the same name with slightly changed names for the characters. Season 2 was supposed to start filming this month but... oh well. First season basically covered Vol. 1 novel from start to end.

*I love this one only because it was my very first danmei and so it’ll forever have a special place in my heart, and also because it’s still ongoing so ya know, I relive how much I love this every month

2. 成化十四年 | Cheng Hua’s Fourteenth Year (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty) by 梦溪石*

Summary: Tang Fan, a prefectural judge, and Sui Zhou, a high ranking officer in the Embroidered Uniform Guards, meet while trying to solve a murder case. Both of them end up partnering very well together, Sui Zhou ends up inviting Tang Fan to live with him, and the rest is history. Through their days living together and solving cases + a larger conspiracy involving the royal palace, they fall in love. Adding to this mix is also Wang Zhi, a powerful, young eunuch who befriends the pair, and the three of them basically help the crown prince to overcome challenges and his enemies to become the next Emperor

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Ongoing on several websites. I’m only translating relationship highlights, but here’s an introduction post I did for it, if you guys would like somewhere to start without getting too invested - [X]

Drama/Live-Action: The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty was released earlier this year, directed by Jackie Chan and starring Darren Chen and Paul Fu, but cases are a little different and there are new characters in the show that weren’t from the novel etc.

3. 杀破狼 | Shapolang by Priest*

Summary: Set in a steampunk universe where flying boats named ‘kites’ and flying armour exist. Young teenager Chang Geng lives with his mother and stepfather - the former abuses him and the latter neglects him, and the only person that he cares about (and cares about him) is Shen Shiliu, his (very young) godfather. He realizes his identity as a royal prince when the Man tribe invades his city and Shen Shiliu, whose real name is Gu Yun, turns out to be an army general whose duty was to protect Chang Geng in secret (among other things). 

Chang Geng has been critically poisoned by his mother (who’s not actually his birth mother, if I recall she’s an aunt) which leads to him getting terrible dreams frequently with the end result of him being driven into insanity, while Gu Yun is half blind, half deaf due to poisoning + injury when he was much younger, and he can only regain his hearing and sight fully when he takes a medicine that is slowly losing its effectiveness with every dosage he has.

The both of them navigate learning about each other again, falling in love a few years later when Chang Geng is all grown up and also unravel conspiracies and fight bad guys (both external threats and internal as in the current Emperor and other parties) XD

*Note: The age old debate is that Gu Yun ‘preyed’ on and also ‘groomed’ Chang Geng, but I disagree and stand by the fact that Gu Yun was 90% of the time not around while Chang Geng grew from a teenager to a young adult as he was fighting wars elsewhere, while Chang Geng refused to stay at the Gu manor and insisted on running around, travelling on his own and seeing the world for a few years before they met again. And it was Chang Geng who’d always loved Gu Yun and devoted himself to caring about him, making advances on him etc. when he became an adult

Other CPs: Shen Yi (Gu Yun’s second-in-command) & Chen Qingxu (a renowned physician who ends up healing both Chang Geng and Gu Yun of their ailments) 

Status: Complete!

Translations: Fully translated the last I heard, it’s up there in the list of holy grail BL/danmei novels, so I’m sure it’s done hahaha.

Drama/Live-Action: Filming in progress!

*This is up there in the hall of fame for danmei novels for more than just the amazing content and writing - It’s also famous for being one of the most complex novels ever. I don’t know how the translations team did it because DAMN it was complex and I read all my novels in Chinese without much issues but I was honestly STRUGGLING WITH this one and I went through some existential crisis while reading because I was like ‘did I ever learn Chinese, am I even Chinese’ XD

4. 默读 | Silent Reading by Priest*

Summary: Luo Wenzhou, a police captain, and his team including best friend and partner Tao Ran, face a few challenging cases that end up being small parts of a larger conspiracy, and end up having to consult with Fei Du, a flamboyant, charming and flirty, young and rich CEO, who Luo Wenzhou describes as someone who is an expert at ‘crimes’. Not deduction, not solving crimes, but someone who is familiar with how the murderer or culprits would commit crimes. Both Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran know Fei Du well, because they first met when Fei Du was in high school, when he called the police because his mother had hanged herself in the house, and since then Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou look out for him, spending holidays with him, giving him presents here and there. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du overcome their misunderstandings of each other and fall in love while solving all the cases and the larger conspiracy behind it.

Other CPs: Tao Ran and someone he knew first from his school days or was a neighbour when he was younger, I can’t remember, but they meet again at a blind date and end up living in the same building on different floors XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Complete!! There’s a huge post floating around on Tumblr with all the links (I can’t find it right now) and on Twitter you can also find the collated, epub versions etc.

Drama/Live-Action: Rights for a live-action was signed, no casting confirmation or set dates yet

5. 犯罪心理 | Criminal Psychology by 长洱*

Summary: Police captain Xing Conglian drags psychologist Lin Chen out of seclusion/hiding to solve a case that is indirectly tied to him. Lin Chen was involved in a case a few years ago that led to four deaths - these four victims were the sons/daughters of four of the five huge old-money (super rich) families in the country and these family members sought to make Lin Chen’s life very difficult for him afterwards by making him lose all the jobs he can find, by surveilling his every move and ensuring that he’s not happy etc. Because of that, he backed out of the police force as well and quietly lived as a school dorm administrator, which is where Xing Conglian finds him a few years later. Lin Chen fakes his death after the first case (not deliberately but kind of a by-the-way thing), but as fate would have it, he ends up meeting Xing Conglian on another case, and he decides that he’ll move in with him and also involve himself again, consequences be damned, and they fall in love!

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet.

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of.

6. 死亡万花筒 | Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪* (MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE)

Summary: Supernatural setting where people who are about to die get a second chance to live. These individuals are either in the midst of a dangerous situation (for e.g. a shootout or a deadly mugging incident) or are about to get into accidents (for e.g. an entire bus going off a bridge or a chandelier dropping from above and crushing the person underneath) or are ill (recently diagnosed with cancer or are terminally ill with a condition for e.g.) - The list is endless, and in the situation between life and death, 12 doors will appear before them. 

It is said that once these individuals finish all 12 doors, they will truly get a second chance at life and survive whatever cause of death they were imminently facing. 

Each door represents a creepy, supernatural mystery, and Lin Qiushi finds himself in a strange place after opening a door when he was trying to enter his apartment one day. He meets Ruan Baijie, a beautiful, tall woman who he happens to meet, and they realize that in this strange world, he and other individuals who came through the door have to complete a given task, find a key and an exit door, and make it out alive. The others in the team (some of which have already gone through several doors) explain to Lin Qiushi, who is a first-timer, what the doors are about. 

The catch is, if they die inside the door, in the real world, they’ll die immediately, by accident, throwing themselves off a building, or just throwing up blood until they die (just to name a few)

On the first night, however, three people are slaughtered and eaten by a long-haired ghost/creature. The good news is, Ruan Baijie isn’t all that she seems to be (for one, she’s not exactly a woman) and she takes a liking to Lin Qiushi immediately.

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet!

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of, but honestly, this novel would be fricking EPIC as a live-action, and really creepy, but this is my all-time favourite novel, I kid you not!!!!

*I’m definitely doing a longer and more detailed to-read for KOD on my translation account, gosh you guys have no idea how much I love this.

7. 当年万里觅封侯 | Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by 漫漫何其多

Summary: Yu She and Gu Wan were close friends for a short period of time when they were younger, but unfortunately their identities and positions meant that they were opponents. Yu She’s family was for the Second Prince and Gu Wan was taken in by the Sixth Prince’s family, but in the end it was the Second Prince who ended up getting to the throne, while the Sixth Prince was accused of treason and died somewhere far away at war after being captured. Gu Wan’s only wish was to keep the Fifth Prince’s children - Xuan Rui and a pair of twins, Xuan Yu and Xuan Congxin safe, and so he moves them to another province and asks the Emperor (the Second Prince) to demote Xuan Rui’s status to prove that they are no threat to the Emperor, if only to stay alive for another day.

However, their days of hardship have only just begun, and Gu Wan decides to namedrop Yu She, whose family is so powerful now, and claims that Yu She loves him and that he was wooing Gu Wan back in the days they knew each other so that officials and others would treat the children under his care better. A few years pass and Yu She doesn’t expose Gu Wan. Gu Wan thinks they can go on like this forever, until the Emperor asks Xuan Rui and the twins to head back to the palace for a visit.

Gu Wan meets Yu She again, but the boy he knew, who was gentle, a stickler for rules and a proper, well-mannered person, has changed almost completely. Cue palace conspiracies again, brothers fighting for the throne, scheming consorts etc. XD 

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet but I’m not super sure on this

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of!

*They came out with a new reprint edition three days ago and it’s gorgeous! And comes with amazing freebies, and I am a sucker and read it on the day of the printed novel release because I saw the art and loved it, wanted to see if the story was any good, and damn after chapter 2 I WAS GONE and then I checked out two copies from different stores for the two different sets of freebies 

--

A list of those I haven’t read but I see are highly raved about:

1. 二哈和他的白猫师尊 | The Husky & His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun

- I’ve already been spoiled and I know what goes on mostly, and there are a lot of warnings for a reason, but I’m still a fan, and let’s not get into the debate on the content, I know I have to read this but the angst level is apparently ridiculous, so I need like some mental preparation before I sit down for it.

2. 千秋 | A Thousand Autumns by 梦溪石

3. 烈火浇愁 | Lie Huo Jiao Chou by Priest

4. 将进酒 | Qiang Jing Jiu by 唐酒卿

- A really good group of translators picked this up initially on Twitter, but then assholes were complaining that they were being too slow and insisting that machine translation (MTL) did an equally good and faster job, so the OG dropped it, and then another nice team picked it up, but MTL team is still being an asshole XD I’ve heard really good things about this one, it’s apparently quite complex as well, I’d liken it to Shapolang level? But it might be even more complex (with a lot of politics and stuff), so much so that apparently the printed novel comes with a relationship/character chart so readers are at any point in time clear on the characters which is like amazing XD

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[justanotherblonde23]

An Unexpected Surprise - A Marcus Moreno Story

Author’s Note: So with some encouraging from my friends, I decided to post my writing! I know that technically we don’t know anything about Marcus Moreno, but that superhero dad has been taking up space in my mind rent free all week. I tagged people that I know wanted to read this and a few that I thought might enjoy it. Please let me know what you think! -Kat 

Content Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), P in V

Tags: @autumnleaves1991-blog @dindjarindiaries @frannyzooey @zeldasayer @hdlynnslibrary @jollyrancher87 @bisexual-space-slut @woakiees @scribbledghost @softpedropascal @catfishingmorales

Marcus trudged into the house, it was at least 2 in the morning, and he was absolutely exhausted. He was always exhausted these days; his age was catching up to him. He may be a part of the Heroics, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t getting older. He was balancing heroism, kids, a spouse, and trying to give them some semblance of a normal life. He was ready to retire, be involved in every aspect of the kids’ lives, and see his wife in more than just the middle of the night and before leaving for work. He had given enough of his life to the service of the world; now, it was about time to provide all of himself to his family. Missy, his eldest, was already 11 and getting older every single day. Jules, the baby of the family, was about to turn 5, just about to leave the toddler years behind her. He felt as if he had missed so much of their lives; he didn’t want to miss anymore. 

Most of the house lights had been turned off, signaling that most of the inhabitants were fast asleep. He hoped that at least he could get a kiss or two from the woman he loved. Maybe she would still be awake. He made his way up the stairs, checking the kids’ rooms. He planted soft kisses on their foreheads, smiling at their serene expressions. What beautiful little girls he had, he was the luckiest father in the world. 

He frowned, opening the door to the master bedroom; the soft glow of artificial light bathed the room in a yellow haze. There she was, his love, sitting in the middle of the bed, clearly wide awake, wearing her glasses and frowning at the hologram in front of her. Someone was working even later than Marcus himself. He took in her form; she still hadn’t noticed him quite yet. She was wearing a silky nightie that hit her upper thigh and a matching robe loosely tied around her. His cock stirred in his pants. Even as spent as he was from the day, the view in front of him made him want to take her to bed and fuck her senseless. 

“Dr. Moreno, hard at work, I see,” he teased. 

Her eyes shot up, smirking at him. I’m not quite Dr. Moreno yet, Marcus. You’d have to marry me first,” she teased. 

“We had a ceremony-” he started.

“And someone still hasn’t mailed the marriage certificate, even though it’s been two months. All you gotta do is bring it to the post office, baby. I’d do it myself, but somebody insisted that he’d be the one to do it.” 

Marcus groaned, falling onto the bed beside his wife (that’s what she was to him, even if he didn’t mail the marriage certificate yet). He heard some shuffling and a command for her AI system to file the holograms working on for the night. He’d lived with her for four years now, and he still hadn’t gotten used to all her tech. If he was a hero in name, she was the genius behind every piece of technology in his arsenal, as well as all of the other members of the Heroics. Her superpower was her mind, that gorgeous, intricate, genius mind of hers. Her ability to retain information, learn, critically think, and create was almost impossible to fathom truly. At 33, she had twelve doctorates in various fields, including engineering, physics, nanotechnology, and art history. Her thirst for knowledge and eagerness to invent was unparalleled, even among other enhanced individuals. He would never stop singing her praises; she was a wonder. 

“Marcus, baby, do you wanna shower and go to bed? It’s late.” 

He sighed, starting to relax into the feeling of her fingers carding through his hair. “Baby, if you keep that up, I’m gonna fall asleep right here and now. I took a shower at HQ before I left, so I’m good.” He opened his eyes when her fingers stilled, looking up at the beautiful woman with the soft smile leaning over him. 

“Do you think you can stay up for a little bit longer, honey? I have a surprise for you.” 

He sat up, scooting up against the headboard, kicking off his shoes. He felt wide awake now. His wife wasn’t typically one for surprises on any old day. He wracked his mind, trying to make sure that he hadn’t missed her birthday, their dating anniversary, or any other consequential, momentous occasion. 

“I didn’t forget a special day, did I? Fuck, amor. I’m so sorry if I did. I’ve been spread so damn thin since the wedding; I’ve been running around like a madman.” 

She placed a tiny cream-colored box in his hands, his wife sitting right in front of him, eyes sparkling with excitement. “You didn’t miss anything, Marcus, just open the box. You’ll like it, I promise.” 

He nodded, pulling at the perfect bow holding the box closed, carefully opening the lid. For a minute, he just stared at the contents of the box, his eyes wide with shock. Ever so slowly, he picked up a pair of teeny baby booties, placing them in his large palm. He took the second item out, a pregnancy test that digitally read, PREGNANT. His hands began to shake; tears began to overflow, tracking down his cheeks. He looked up, his gaze locked on the woman in front of him. 

“Sweetheart, are we-? Are you-? We’re- we’re having a baby?” he managed to choke out. 

There was one more item in the box, at the bottom, an ultrasound labeled Baby Moreno. He studied the picture intently, his thumb moving over the little blob on the paper. That was his baby, their baby. They were having a baby. 

“Holy shit,” he murmured, “we’re having a baby!”

A giggle made him raise his eyes once again. “That’s what I said, too. I’m about ten weeks along now. You’re going to be a daddy of three, Marcus Moreno.” 

He scooped up everything in his lap, dumping it on the nightstand. He quickly grabbed his wife, flipping her so that she was under him. He covered her face in kisses, whispering how beautiful she was, how she was so loved, so treasured, so cherished. How their baby was made of nothing but love, how they were precious cargo, and how he would protect both of them every single day of his life. He kissed down her jaw, down her neck, eliciting breathy moans from the woman underneath him. His kisses went lower and lower until he reached her belly, pulling her nightie up around her waist so that he could get to her bare stomach. He planted dozens of kisses all over her belly, in awe of the life growing in there. 

“Hey baby, it’s your daddy,” he cooed softly. “Your mommy and I already love you, little one, and you’ll have two big sisters that I just know will love you too. I can’t wait for you to be here, little baby. I promise I’ll be here for you.” 

He looked adoringly at the mother of his youngest child, grinning as if his world had been made complete, and in all honesty, it had been. This baby, this tiny little one growing inside of the woman that he loved most, filled a hole in his heart that he hadn’t even been aware of. 

He bit down on his lower lip, smirking while ever so slowly pulling off her panties. He would lavish the woman he loved with every ounce of devotion, adoration, and love he had to offer. A breathless Oh please, Marcus was all he needed to motivate him to continue. He opened her legs up, giving him access to her slit, wet and wanting. He groaned, the sight making his mouth water. If he had it his way, Marcus could spend hours between her thighs. Two fingers lightly toyed with her slit, moving up and down, collecting her slick. 

“Look at you, baby, so wet for me, and I’ve barely touched you. If this is what pregnancy does to you, amor, I might have to start keeping better work hours so I can spend my time between your thighs.” 

He could see her hips try to follow his fingers, desperate for more than he was giving her. “Marcus, don’t tease, please,” she whined. He chuckled, easily giving in to her pleas. He couldn’t say no to her, not tonight. 

He buried his head between her legs, tongue coming out to lick a broad strip all the way to the top of her slit, his nose nudging her clit. She tasted like heaven, making him moan into her core, sending pleasurable shivers up her spine. He speared his tongue into her, getting as deep as he could, fucking her pussy with his tongue while her fingers tangled themselves in his curls. He kept exploring her folds with his tongue, hitting all the spots he knew would make her see stars. 

He easily pushed in two fingers, causing her to buck her hips up, matching his pace. He focused his tongue on her clit, alternating between drawing lazy circles and sucking her into his mouth. His fingers hit that sweet spot inside her with every thrust, bringing her closer and closer to her release. Before he knew it, she was cumming around his fingers, squeezing him tight and pulling him deeper. His mouth flooded with the taste that was uniquely hers, prompting him to moan. He could feel himself rock hard in his pants, leaking with his arousal. 

He crawled off the bed, swiftly ridding himself of his clothes, placing his glasses safely on the nightstand. He grabbed her glasses as well, placing them next to his own. She had shrugged off her robe and nightie, languidly watching him, her eyes blown wide with desire. 

“Marcus, I need you inside of me,” she begged. His large cock rested heavy against his stomach, tip red and leaking. The thought of him inside of her was almost too much. She needed him, and she needed him right now. 

He settled over her, catching her lips in a deep, earth-shattering kiss. His tongue explored her mouth, letting her taste herself. Marcus was intoxicating, enthralling, and all she wanted was more. Finally, they broke apart, panting slightly. 

“Dr. Moreno, my lovely wife, mother of my child, let me make love to you. Let me show you how happy you make me, sweetheart. I want to make you touch the sky,” he whispered into her ear. 

She beamed at him, cradling his cheek gently. “Yes, baby, I’m all yours.” He leaned back in, catching her into another searing kiss. He worked his length up and down her slit, coating himself in her slick, bumping her clit a few times in the process. At last, he began to leisurely enter her, inch by inch. They both groaned when he bottomed out, fully seated inside of her. 

“Fuck honey, you’re just so tight, so wet, so warm for me,” he whimpered, moving inside her with slow, deep strokes. He wanted to make this last, to draw out her pleasure. With every thrust, he told her how good she felt, how beautiful she looked underneath him, how her pussy was made for him, how perfect she was. He could’ve gone like that for quite some time, slowly bringing her closer and closer to her high. Only her pleas of more, faster, harder made him speed up. 

He grabbed one of her legs, placing it higher on his hip, allowing him to hit deeper inside her. Her hips moved in unison with his own, meeting each thrust into her. He would never get tired of the pretty sounds she made for him when he was fucking her. Those breathy moans she let out, the babbling it all spurred him on. He could tell she was close. She always got so fucking wet and even tighter right before she came. He dropped a hand between them, rubbing hard, tight circles around her clit. Not even a half dozen thrusts later, and she was wailing in ecstasy, clamping down on him like a vice. He wasn’t far behind, spilling himself deep within her, muttering her name over and over like a prayer. 

He rolled off of her, panting, taking a minute to catch his breath as he gazed at her blissed-out form. Hair a mess, chest heaving, lips swollen from his kisses to Marcus, she was stunning. He couldn’t think of a moment when she was more gorgeous than right then and there. He could look at her forever, just like this. 

Eventually, he got up and grabbed a warm cloth, gently cleaning her off. Turning off the light, he climbed back into bed, pulling her body to his, cradling her close. He let his hand wander, rubbing soothing circles over her belly. 

“You’re gonna look so stunning, honey, all round with our baby. I promise I’ll take such good care of you. I’ll do whatever you need.” 

He could feel his wife sigh, completely relaxed in his arms. He held her close, basking in her warmth and the love between them. He let his mind wander, thinking of the future, thinking of this baby. 

“I’m gonna cut back at work, move more into an advisory role in the Heroics. As your pregnancy progresses, I’ll be able to work from home and take a solid chunk of paternity leave when the baby comes. I’ve given enough of myself to the world. It’s time for me to give everything I can to my family, to you, to the girls, to this baby. I’ll go drop off the marriage certificate tomorrow before I go into HQ to talk about restructuring my job. That way, you’ll officially be Dr. Moreno, even though you’ve already been that to me for a long time.” 

She answered him with a happy sigh and kisses to his hand that entwined with hers. “I’d like that, Marcus. It might be selfish, but I want you here, with us. We love you so much; it’s nice when you’re here. It makes our family complete.” 

They spent a few more minutes talking about the future, drifting off into deep, dreamless sleep. The thought of tomorrow was full of bright promises, just waiting to be embraced. 

[nellie-elizabeth]

Rizandace Fic Master List: The Magicians!

Hey, I figured it was time for me to keep all my fics in one place over here on tumblr dot com, so here you go! I’ll try and keep this updated as I post! On Ao3 at Rizandace.

Series

Magic Curses (collectively, 134k words)

This series includes five short multi-chapter stories, between 23k-32k words, and one bonus one-shot at 3.2k. While theoretically all understandable as standalones, there is a building narrative. This is my general “what happens after season four” series, but in my version of canon, Quentin just… does not die in 4x13. The jumping-off point leaves everything else the same as canon left it, and the series follows Quentin and Eliot as they get back together and start their lives as a couple. Background Julia/Alice, and Margo/Fen/Josh.

The individual stories in order, are…

- Lover’s Touch

Quentin gets cursed with a sickness that will not heal unless he is touched by his dearest love. Alice, for some reason, isn’t able to help. 24.7k words.

- Fragments

Quentin lives through his worst nightmare again and again, and the darker side of dependency is explored. 23k words.

- Liquid Courage

Eliot breaks up with Quentin, which means something has gone very wrong… 24k words.

- The Curse of the Broken Vase (aka The One Where They Get Married and Nothing Goes Wrong)

They get married! What is says on the tin! 3.2k words.

- Identity Theft

The whole gang have amnesia and Quentin and Eliot, literal husbands, pine for each other like the beautiful little dummies they are. This is the author’s personal favorite of the series! 32k words.

- Beyond the Veil

Quentin vanishes, and Eliot loses his mind trying to get him back. The twist? Quentin hasn’t gone anywhere. 27.5k words.

Immortality AU

A Comet Pulled From Orbit is my AU of the film The Old Guard. It’s from Alice’s POV, it’s the most “gen” of my stories but rest assured that Queliot plays a prominent, dramatic role. We’ve also got Margo/Julia, and Kalice. An action romp with lots of character moments. I’m ridiculously proud of this story. 100k words.

Connected to the main story are seven collections of snippets, all ongoing, one from the POV of each of the core characters: Quentin, Eliot, Margo, Kady, Alice, Julia, and Penny. These take place before, during, and after Comet, so you should definitely read the main fic before diving into the continuations. Each snippet is 1-2k words, and some of them are interwoven/complimentary.

The Long-Fics

Running All This Time is my take on the mosaic timeline! Featuring lots of romance and sex, a unique take on Arielle that I haven’t seen anyone else do in quite this same way, a quest-within-a-quest, and happy endings for all! Adheres to canon insofar as it technically does not contradict what we see on screen in 3x05. It uh… does contradict what happens in 4x05, though, so just jot that down. 180k words.

Maybe This Time is my Brakebills AU! But uh. It’s not a No-Beast AU, and it gets pretty dang angsty there in the middle. Still, I promise it has a happy ending! This is the most popular story I’ve written. Featuring lots of cottage parties, pining boys, and then there is a plot twist in chapter eight that you’re really gonna want to check out, y’all. Shit gets pretty wild there for a while. 245k words. (So many words.)

The Way a Fool Would Do is now complete! This is an all-Fillorian AU, it’s technically a soulmate AU but with a twist: in this universe, soulmates are a chosen and intentionally created bond, and held in high honor. They are also Strictly Platonic upon pain of exile. Guess what two emotionally constipated fifteen-year-olds decided to become soulmates, each pretending he wasn’t already in love with the other? A decade later, Quentin and Eliot are still totally just Best Friends, and nothing else is going to happen between them. *exaggerated winky face*. Featuring also a unique take on Margo and the Chatwins! 211.5k words.

a work of fine art is a no-magic AU where Eliot is an artist and Quentin agrees to model for him. That's it, that's the whole fic. Oh also it's Marqueliot... so that's fun! Really, I'd describe this one as a mainly vibes-based experience. I had fun diving deep into the emotional journeys of the characters and explore the physicality of the characters in all sorts of forms. 123k words.

The Mid-Sized

is it too late (or could this love protect me)

A no-magic AU where Eliot and Quentin went to undergrad together. Quentin gets together with Alice in their senior year, and it’s now years later, the gang are in their late twenties, and Quentin’s about to discover something he never knew about his best friend Eliot. Alice has to explain it to him, and frankly she deserves better. Featuring the inner workings of Quentin Coldwater’s scrambled mind, and happiness achieved at last! 31.5k words.

Once Upon a Place Sometimes

For the 2021 Magicians Big Bang! Season One No-Beast AU where the Physical Kids' Cottage burns down, and Eliot and Quentin have communication issues. Kind of an only-one-bed tropey story, kind of a more serious look at what it means to be afraid and what it means to take a chance anyway. Amazing art by Vriah, I'm so lucky! 50.7k words.

When Quentin Met Eliot

For the 2022 Magicians Happily Ever After event! It’s a When Harry Met Sally AU where Quentin Coldwater is the Harry, and Eliot Waugh is the Sally. This is correct, trust me. Art by marcel, it’s amazing! 79.9k words.

Shelter

A romance novel about second chances - I wrote this during NanoWriMo of 2022 and the whole thing is now posted! Featuring Quentin working at an animal shelter, and Margo/Fen/Penny background shenanigans. 60.3k words.

where the real road lies

Ten years after Quentin's death, he shows up on Eliot's doorstep. Eliot's husband is the one to answer the door. An angsty resurrection fic with infidelity, a lot of grief and anger, and a happily ever after, I promise. 67.6k words.

The One-Shots

Overthinking It is my inaugural fic in the fandom! It’s not the strongest, in my opinion, but it has its moments. Takes place in 3x06, when Quentin comes back from his experience with the abyss key, and talks to Eliot about it. Some things are hashed out between them. 3.5k words.

Reciprocal is a mosaic fic where Eliot and Quentin work their shit out before Arielle really has a chance to enter the picture. Eliot does a dumb thing for… dubiously honorable reasons. It sucks for a bit, but the end results are good for all. 8.2k words.

Promises is one of my favorite stories that I’ve written! Takes place at the end of season three. Eliot follows Quentin to his room and demands to know what he’s thinking with his insane plan to stay in Blackspire with the monster. Turns out, the two have a lot of misunderstandings to clear up about their relationship. 7.7k words.

To Feel the Same is an itty bitty little gapfiller for the Queliot hug in 2x02. 1.7k words.

Bottle Episode is a gapfiller/divergence fic where Quentin and Eliot get briefly captured and thrown in the dungeons in the midst of the Fairy Queen’s machinations, and Eliot’s wedding planning for his upcoming nuptials with Idri. Sometimes, even if nothing comes of it, it can be nice to be on the same page. 7k words.

Regrets, or the Absence Thereof is the Marqueliot threesome, y’all! Eliot POV, set during 4x05 when he’s seeking his biggest regret inside his Happy Place. He goes to revisit a certain memory with his two favorite people, and he has a lot of feelings about it. 11k words.

remember what it was before is a piece reflecting on Quentin's discipline. It takes place in small snippets during the mosaic timeline, as well as being a 4x13 fix-it in its own right! 7.5k words.

[dont-doubt-dopple]

The Missing Days of the 14 Taken - A Last Life/Empires/Hermitcraft Fanfic

Chapter 1: The Stranger

TW: Brief Depictions of Violence and Death. Spoilers for Session 1 of Last Life. (Specifically the Boogeyman Kill)

A/N: This has been in my head for a while now, since Last Life and now I want to get it down on here, at least the first bit. I’ll cross post on AO3 later and maybe write more. No idea if this will actually continue or not but enjoy!

Word Count: 1387

~~~

When the dead arrived, he didn’t recognize them at all.

He was floating in the Void, slipping into the space between respawns between dreams that would long be forgotten in the morning. It wasn’t a special thing, he was Prophet of Death after all, the reason he was chosen to watch over The Vigil and Pixandria as the Prophets before him had been. Every ruler who died would pass through him, and he would watch the death unfold before his eyes before they were whisked away. As far as he knew, they never remembered it though it was usually not something brought up casually in conversation. But he did, and would leave a candle for each one when he awoke in the morning.

But this … this was not normal. No other rulers passed through him that night, despite knowing that at least Joel and Sausage had died that day at the very least (and probably Jimmy if they were being honest). No, all he saw was someone he didn’t recognize. They reminded him of Joey a little, with messy dirty blond hair and vibrant parrot wings extending out. But it wasn’t Joey, he knew that much. He wore a red sweater and black pants held up by a utility belt (empty because … dead). His eyes started a light green, but they seemed to fade into a yellow the more Pixl tried to discern their color. Their right wrist held an .. odd tattoo—two L’s, one upside down and one not, with dots above them—while the left held a feather bracelet that seemed to change with his eyes.

“No … no how are we back here?” The stranger asked themselves, pulling up the neck of their sweater to cover up the fresh scar that ran across it. “The game … the game ended. I won. They were happy … why … why again?”

The stranger didn’t seem to notice Pixl, and the Prophet didn’t make any moves to make himself known to the unknown individual. Instead, he spent the time looking over every detail trying to figure out how they were connected. He didn’t seem like someone high up in the other 11 Empires, so who was he? How was he here when he’d never met this man in his life?

“Where … where am I?” The question brought Pixl out of his confusion, looking up to meet the stranger’s fully yellow eyes. Pixl smiled softly in comfort as he had done many times before.

“You’re in the Void; the place between respawns.” He explained. “You died.”

“I know I died, BDubs literally stabbed me!” The stranger exclaimed. “I scammed Scar for that life fair and square and he just takes it from me like that! God I trusted him! Etho vouched for him!”

“It’s going to be okay.” Pixl tried to assure him, despite not knowing anything of what this man was saying.

“No, it’s not. I’m back on 2 lives in this stupid Game. The fact that we are even back here is … It was over. And now there’s more of us?!” The confusion on Pixl’s face must have been palpable, as the stranger seemed to stop their rant. “Sorry, I don’t think that’s the best introduction, is it?”

“Not exactly, no.” Pixl chuckled. “But it’s fine; it’s normal to be so … passionate after you’ve died. Especially in betrayal as seems to be your case.”

“Yeah, that’s going to happen a lot, isn’t it?“

“I … look I’m really sorry but I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about.” The stranger’s head started to tilt, before his eyes became wide in recognition.

“You’re not part of their game. You’re … you’re on the outside.” His voice began to fill with a manic sense of hope that made Pixl float away a little. “You can help us; you can get us out. Help us out.”

The stranger floated forward, grabbing Pixl’s shoulders as if to plead with him. The word “please” floated soundlessly off his lips as the Void around them filled with white and the man was gone. The present version of him at least. Now he was looking over the past version of the stranger, a simple spectator to what had unfolded. He was covered in iron armor wielding a diamond sword and a shield. He stood on a circle of bedrock outlined in tuft on the edge of a small hill overlooking a river. An enchanting table stood in the circle’s center and a jukebox playing ominous music played off to the side.

“Are you gonna play that…Guys, please tell me you’re the Boogeyman so you can make this happen.” He asked, green eyes flickering between the other people that stood around the bedrock circle. One stood to his left, with white hair that was held back by a headband. He wore a dark green vest and a dark blue t-shirt that matched the headband’s color. The other thing that seemed to match between the shirt and headband was a 4 heart design: dark green, light green, yellow and red all nice in a row. A face mask covered his expression, but there was hesitant expectance in his eyes. Like … waiting for an outcome that he knew wouldn’t happen.

The other one though, the one on the right that began to play with the weapons strapped across his chest, was a different story. His eyes were wide with … bloodlust as he pulled out a diamond sword from under his mossy cloak. The dark green scrap of cloth tied around his head blew in the breeze at the lunged at the winged man with a sense of frenzy.

“You are correct!” He yelled as his victim began to panic as he was being attacked. “Ha HA! Yes!” A small chase began despite the stranger … well, they were both strangers to Pixl at this point [though we know who they are. We know all too well this scene. But let’s continue, shall we?] … despite the winged one having the better armor and a sword in his hand. “YeS! AH HA! IM THE BOOGEY!” The winged man didn’t make it far, just shy from the banks of the river before the killing blow was made. The third man, and Pixl, watched as the moss man grabbed his sword with both hands and cut the other man’s head off.

There was a few seconds of silence as the body and detached head settled. It was in those few seconds that Pixl saw a brief flash of someone else riding a horse. He couldn’t get a good glimpse of their features but he could feel the pang of their heart. As if they knew this man had died, as if their lives were connected. He didn’t have time to think about the implications of this fact as the body began to dissipate. And as it did, the Prophet faded with it.

~~~

When Pixl woke up, he wasn’t surprised that he remembered his interaction with the winged stranger. It felt just like when one of his fellow rulers die. But … he was still no closer to knowing who this man was. The names he gave—BDubs, Etho, Scar—none seemed to refer to the man himself. He did suppose BDubs was the Moss Man, the one that had literally stabbed him. He’s not sure if the other one in the scene was Scar or Etho, but based on what little info he had to go on Pixl thought it might have the latter.

Despite not knowing anything, he still felt like he needed to place a candle for the fallen man. Something about that place … the lives felt as sacred as he placed on them here. But they shouldn’t go with the others … they needed their own. A vigil just for this … this Game that the winged stranger had been so angry he had returned to. It wouldn’t be anything special, not until he could figure out more. Just a small thing for one lost life. He was mulling over candle design for this stranger’s vigil when his communicator buzzed. He looked at it and immediately he knew this was going to be a bigger project than he initially thought.

<GeminiTay> Guys, I think several people are missing.